#right until he died he only cared about his girlfriend and his job

[running-in-the-dark]

shit I think I've just admitted to myself for the first time that I kind of hate my dad

[chlix]

sharpest tool

bf! chan x fem! reader: chan doesn't love you like you love him. you're not planning on doing anything about it

genre: angst, suggestive (but not actually very fun or sexy)

word count: 2.9k

warnings/tags: toxic relationships/situationships, arguing, self-worth issues

a/n: this fic is inspired by "sharpest tool" off sabrina carpenter's new album! i heard it and immediately knew i wanted to write for it. i also plan on doing other songs off the album with other members but we'll see if i get to that before the album loses all relevance 💀

“What’s new with you then?” your coworker Seohyeon asks once the lunch rush dies down. You’re wiping spilled coffee off the bar and she’s pretending to reorganize the stacks by the till, but really, you’re both just trying to look busy while you recover from the last round of customers. Seohyeon has already bitched about her evil landlord and snitched on your manager for critiquing the way the new girl set up the cup display. Now, it’s your turn to overshare. Unfortunately, your life is scant of any juicy details.

“Nothing. You know I have no life outside this job,” you say.

“So not true,” she says. “What about that guy who keeps hanging around waiting for you to get off every day? How’s that going?”

You stiffen. “It’s going.”

She hums sympathetically. “That bad, huh?”

You drop your rag in the bucket of sanitizer water and take a long breath.

“It’s not bad. It’s not really anything right now.”

“You know, I mentioned how he’s always waiting for you, but I haven’t really seen him in a couple of weeks.”

“You and me both,” you mutter. Unwittingly, your hands drift to your phone in your apron pocket, hoping it’ll buzz and you’ll get a text from Chan, as if he’d sense you thinking about him and give you the attention that you’ve been craving. When you first met, the two of you had that kind of psychic connection. It was like you were of one mind. He was everything you wanted in a guy. He still is.

That’s what makes this all so difficult.

The idea of Chan using you as a warm body isn’t inherently distressing. Or, it wouldn’t have been, if he’d posed the idea initially. Maybe if he’d asked you for that up front, then you would’ve known better than to catch feelings. Or at least if you had, then you could take all the blame unto yourself for being softhearted, overly optimistic. He could be blameless. This would be easier if he was a bad person. Or maybe he is, and you just love him too much to care.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m all ears,” Seohyeon says.

“There’s not much to say. We weren’t really even dating. I think. I mean, he doesn’t owe me anything.”

Seohyeon gives you a knowing look, and it makes anything else you were planning on saying stick in your throat.

“Get well soon, girl,” she says, and turns back to the till. You swallow, pick up the bucket of dirty water, and go to dump it out in the sink in the back.

Chan does not come in at the end of your shift and wait for you. Of course not. He does text you, though.

Hey, he says. It’s the first time he’s spoken to you in a week. The casual nature of it swallows you alive.

Hey

Busy tonight?

Never for you <3

My place? 8?

It’s almost pathetic of you to keep falling for the same old trick. Can it even be called a trick if you’re neither fooled nor impressed? You always knew you were just a placeholder, filling in the gaps for when he can’t have the girls he really wants. He doesn’t have to make it so obvious, though.

Placeholder. It’s one of those thoughts that as soon as it crosses your mind, you know you’ve already lost. You’re not sure if Chan realizes that’s what he’s turned you into. You can’t really blame him. You only recently realized it yourself. You’ve been hooking up for months, you’ve been hanging out with his friends, you’ve been posting each other and having cozy nights in with long conversations that last until the early morning. He’s your baby. You’re his girl. But you’re not his girlfriend. Six missing letters and suddenly, you’re the crazy one.

You wonder if Chan knows how these periods of long silence make you feel like a cheap lay, like someone he doesn’t even know. Maybe he does, and this is all an elaborate manipulation tactic that’s working distressingly well. Maybe he doesn’t know, and you’re projecting malice onto his thoughtlessness.

It doesn’t matter either way. You know it, and you’re still going to go.

Ok <3

You put your phone away and start walking to the bus. You need to go home and get ready.

You arrive at his apartment just before eight pm. He hates it when people aren’t punctual, and you hate it when he’s upset, so here you are, shaved and showered and dressed all pretty. You’ve developed a scarcity mindset around him- you need to make sure every time he sees you is perfect because the incidents are so few and far between. You need to look irresistible, so enticing that he’ll be begging to come see you again. It’s so pathetic that you piss yourself off on a daily basis.

You fix your hair and clothes, ring his doorbell. He answers the door, all smiles and muscle tees, and it almost makes you forget that you haven’t seen him since the last full moon. It’s like a thirst that doesn’t make itself known until that first drop of water.

“Hey, baby,” he says, drawing you into his arms. He kisses you deeply, not lustful but loving and you let yourself fall into it.

“Missed you,” he says, low in your ear. He smells like aftershave, like sandalwood and pine.

“Missed you more.”

He pulls you into his apartment and closes the door behind you so he can press you up against it and kiss you again. He licks into your mouth, and you let him, bringing your own hands up to cup his face. The barest bit of his stubble tickles against your palms. His body is warm and solid against you, it makes your knees weak, makes your heart race. For the moment, you forget every grievance you’ve ever had with him. You forget how upset you were at work today, and Seohyeon’s pity, and how empty your phone has been lately. The world outside the two of you might as well not exist.

Chan’s hands slide up under your shirt, pressed against your stomach. Your gut twists.

The illusion shatters.

You pull your lips away from him.

“Chan,” you say, trying to be authoritative, but you’re breathless. He moves away from your mouth and latches onto your neck, and your body reacts without your permission, arching into the touch, but you pull your hands away and press on his chest.

“Chan, stop.”

He lets you push him, taking a step back and looking down at you with blown wide eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just…not feeling it.”

“Right, sorry. Didn’t mean to pounce on you. We can move to the bedroom if you want?”

“No…” That sticky feeling is building in your throat again. “I’m just not really in the mood for sex at all, right now.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Awkward silence stretches between you. He’s just looking at you, unsure how to proceed, and you want to die a little more every minute.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll just- I’ll go-”

“No, wait!” He catches your arm as you go to turn away. “You don’t have to leave. I’m the one who’s sorry. You shouldn’t have to apologize for something like this.”

“Okay…”

He kisses your forehead again, affectionate and chaste. “I’m glad you came. I wasn’t lying about missing you, yeah? Let’s just have a chill night in.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We’ll order in. It’ll be nice.”

You let out a long breath and pull him into a hug. He embraces you, and your ear ends up pressed against his chest. You can hear his heartbeat thrumming under his ear, soothing, reassuring.

Okay. Okay okay okay.

You try to have a good night, you really do. You want to be happy when you’re around him, but it’s like a switch has flipped in your head and it’s impossible to truly relax. He orders food from your favorite place without you having to even ask.

“You want your usual?” he asks.

“You still remember my usual?”

“I remember everything about you, love.”

You think about earlier, how he’d known to text you as soon as you got off work yet hadn’t made the effort to actually show up like he used to. You tell him your usual is fine and kiss him on the cheek.

When the food arrives, you curl together on the couch under blankets and put on some show as background noise. There was a drama you were watching together, but he doesn’t bring it up and neither do you. As he pulls up Netflix, you notice the title card in his Recently Watched, but you haven’t been over in so long that you know it can’t be from the last time you were together. He doesn’t pause, skipping over it completely to select another random thumbnail.

“This okay?”

You hum an affirmative and the Netflix logo appears on the screen, signaling the start of the episode. You eat your food and try to focus on how good it tastes instead of how leaden your stomach feels.

As the night wears on, you realize that he’s being cagey. He asks you questions about your life and your job, about your sister and her baby and your plans for the holidays. He’s always been a good listener, always attentive and empathetic and curious. He’s been good at getting secrets out of you as long as you’ve known him.

I’ve never told anyone this before, you would start sentences, but I feel like I can trust you.

You can, he’d respond. I’d never judge you. I care about all of you, even the parts you might not care about yourself.

Always so welcoming, so loving. It had you spilling your guts after only the third date.

I’m rambling, I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear about all my baggage.

Y/n, I want to know anything you’re willing to tell me. Communication is important in relationships. It builds strong foundations.

And yet here he is, only a few months later, dodging all your questions about where he’s been or what he’s been up to.

“How’s work?”

“It’s been alright.”

“You’re pretty busy around this time of year, aren’t you?”

Chan shrugs. “Yeah, but I’m used to it by now.”

You nod around the fork in your mouth, unsure how to continue the line of inquiry. You try again, another topic this time.

“Did you hear about that giant pile up downtown? There were like ten cars involved.”

“I haven’t been watching the news much lately.”

“Well what have you been watching?”

“I’ve kind of had other things going on. Not much time for leisure.”

“Right. You said you were busy with work.”

He doesn’t reply to this. You want to shrink into the couch cushions and coil inside one of the springs.

You eat in silence for a while, eyes flittering between the screen and his face. Once or twice, his phone will ding, and he’ll pick up and scroll through it, shoot back a quick reply. You don’t ask who’s contacting him. When he’s done, he sets his phone face down on the table, out of your reach.

When you’re both done, he takes the empty containers from you and goes to dispose them. His hair bounces as he moves, curling around his ears and the tops of his brows.

“Your hair’s getting long.”

“Is it?” He pulls at a loose curl, stretching it out in front of him critically. “Guess I should get it cut.”

“Nooo, I like it. It suits you.”

He glances at you shyly. “You think?”

“I know. You look adorable.”

“I can’t be walking around adorable. What would that do to my image?”

“Right. Mr. Tough Guy Bang Chan, who always has short hair and thick biceps. There’s a brand image to consider.”

“Exactly! I knew you’d understand.” His cheeks dimple in his smile, but it’s shaky, and it disappears as quickly as it came. “And anyway, I just don’t think…” He trails off.

“Don’t think what?”

Chan stays quiet for a while, lost in thought. You’re unsure whether or not to push, but before you can say anything else, he snaps out of it. He shakes his head as if to clear it and throws an apologetic look your way.

“Never mind. Just getting too into my head.”

Concerned, you rise from the couch and cross the room to his kitchen.

“Is everything okay?”

“Of course. Don’t worry about me.”

“Of course I worry about you. I care about you.”

Chan isn’t meeting your eyes. “Just leave it alone, y/n. It’s stupid anyway.”

“Something bothering you could never be stupid.”

“I said just leave it alone.” His voice is harsh now, face hardened in the way he does when he’s not being nice anymore. He’s putting his walls up and you don’t understand why, and it’s tearing at you, the cumulative weight of all this distance.

“Okay. Whatever then.”

You turn around and start walking back towards the couch.

“Whatever?”

The audacity to sound offended after the way he’s been treating you.

“I can’t make you talk to me. If you don’t want to tell me anything then why keep asking?”

“Don’t be dramatic. I’ve been talking to you all night.”

“No, you haven’t. You’re shutting me out.”

“Shutting you out?” He sounds genuinely confused. You stop halfway back to the living room and turn to look at him.

“Yes, that’s what I said.”

He lets out a short laugh and pushes his curly bangs away from his forehead, hands alight with anxious energy.

“Y/n I invited you over here. We’ve been talking and watching the show. I thought we were having a good night. Now I want to keep one thought to myself and I’m ‘shutting you out’?”

That same twisting in your gut starts up again.

“You’re making me sound so unreasonable.”

“I mean, can’t you see how this looks from my perspective?” He turns away from you and pinches the bridge of his nose, like he’s developing a headache. Like he’s the one being tormented. “Sometimes I feel like you and I are living in different realities.”

It’s like a dagger in your chest. All your indignation leaves you, leaking out of you and pooling at your feet in a sad little puddle of self-respect.

“Don’t say that.”

“I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

You set out of your ring of self-loathing and approach the island where he is, still turned away from him. You reach out a shaking hand and turn him to face you. When you meet his eyes, you see frustration, confusion, and helplessness.

You’re a placeholder. You know it, Seohyeon knows it, the girl he’s been texting all night knows it. It’s possible Chan doesn’t.

That’s fine. You know it, and you’re in love with him anyway.

You press your hands against his chest, leaning up so you can look right in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “You’re right. I’ve been on edge lately; I didn’t mean it.” You smile, self-deprecating, embarrassed. “Forgive me?”

Chan lets out a long breath. He grabs your hand and kisses it, then keeps holding on to it, his grip strong and secure.

“Nothing to forgive. I’ve been all over the place too. But we’re here now, together. So let’s just relax, yeah?”

You nod. He leans down and kisses you. The twisting in your gut persists, but you don’t pull away until he does.

“Let’s go finish this episode,” he says, and goes to lead you both back to the living room.

The night feels like a failure. You can’t figure out why, but the thought of just finishing your show and then putting your coat and boots back on and leaving feels like accepting defeat. Your legs are unstable underneath you, but not in the way they were earlier, when Chan was kissing you like his life depended on it. Now, you are standing at the top of a very tall hill, fighting against gravity to remain upright on the slope.

Get well soon, girl.

You close your eyes tightly, then reach forward and grab the back of Chan’s shirt. He jolts, surprised, then turns back to you. You release his jacket as he turns and grab his hand instead, lacing your fingers together.

“Forget the show,” you say. “Take me to bed.”

His eyes widen. “Are you sure? Earlier you said-”

“I’m too in my head. You’re right. I should try to relax. I haven’t seen you in weeks.” You get on tiptoe and lean up to his ear and whisper. “You can make me feel better, right Channie?”

Chan’s fingers tighten around yours. When you lower yourself back onto your heels, he’s looking down at you with dark eyes. You push down your unease, leave it abandoned on the floor with your anger and ego and heartbreak.

“You’re sure.”

“Never surer. Unless you don’t want-”

He effectively silences you by sweeping you into his arms, lifting you up like you weigh nothing.

“Baby, you have no idea the things I want.”

You laugh, shocked at the display of strength, and wrap your arms around him as he carries you away. The last thing you see before he shuts the bedroom door is his phone on the table, vibrating with an unanswered call.

[judasgot-it]

Friends to Lovers

"I've been in love with you for years now, thanks for noticing dumbass."

Scenario: You literally do not get the hint. Jouno nearly wants to beat you to death because of this, but unfortunately for him, he likes you.

2.5 K words

For the last few years, your life had been relatively simple. Despite having an 'exciting' job, you were stuck doing the same shit basically every day until you died.

Work out, have monthly surgeries, question criminals in completely legal ways with government oversight, and investigate and capture terrorists. Maybe kill them, since you were a completely legal government entity and were allowed to do that.

Same shit as always. It was a rinse and repeat, the only difference was how and where you did it. But it was going to stay the same - something you were going to do until you died.

Just like how your love life had stayed the same - hopeless and stale.

No one could really blame you, now could they? You had a crush on the same coworker for years, and it seemed like you'd get over it when you died.

So basically never.

It sucked.

You wanted to cry sometimes, thinking about how much you liked your coworker's stupid face.

Everyone said he was an asshole, and yes - he was. But not to you.

Saigiku let you call him by his first name, and was nice enough to give you the homemade lunch he couldn't eat. No one was convinced on how good of a cook he was, but that was fine - you were ok with not sharing what Saigiku gave you.

If he was here, you would be able to compliment him and see how red his face gets. It hurt how much of you smiled at the thought, how embarrassed he is that someone liked his cooking.

"Thinking about Jouno again?"

Tachihara looked bored, watching you as if he was observing a bird on a telephone wire.

You swallowed, tasting the onigiri in your mouth. God, Saigiku was a really good cook.

"How'd you know?"

"You're always thinking about him. It's embarrassing." Teruko glared two holes through you; as if you had tried to touch Fukuchi in some way.

"What? No I don't." Maybe just a little bit.

"Right. And who gave you that?"

Tachihara walked closer and inspected the bento box you'd been consuming for the last ten minutes. You tried to shield it from his gaze, feeling as if his eyes were going to melt it.

"Why does it matter?"

"Jouno doesn't give me homemade lunch."

"He almost let me starve once. I'm the vice-captain, and he let me starve! So why is he giving you his lunch?"

Teruko reached her fingers around your body and snatched some rice, not caring if she made a mess as she shoved it in her mouth. Like a sticky, copper-smelling child, she chewed out loud, making sure you heard her crime.

You cringed a little, while Tachihara tried not to gag as he watched her lick her fingers loudly. She really was twelve years old.

"Well it's just because he didn't want it to go bad, that's it. Doesn't mean anything."

It was something you kept telling yourself everytime he did something sweet to you - that it could mean anything, and most likely it meant nothing. Saigiku was a strange man, and he wasn't likely the type to go around and show his feelings so blatantly.

Right?

"He once threw his drink at me."

Tecchou finally spoke up. He looked like he was bored, despite recounting one of the many common war stories that was interacting with Saigiku when he was upset - which was always, when it came to Tecchou.

"I don't think he would have offered it to you anyway, Tecchou. No offense, but that's just yours and Saigiku's relationship..."

"That's another thing! You call him by his first name! It's like you're his girlfriend or something."

Teruko was laying on the punches, nearly spitting in your face as she throughout her accusations. It made you want to hide - he would never like the idea, and you would rather die than lose what you two currently had. It was the closest you could get to being anything like that anyway, so you wouldn't want to ruin it by overstepping a boundary like that.

"We're just close!"

"So close that you have sex together."

That made you nearly choke. Tecchou didn't even bat an eye, instead staring at the floor as he continued his pushups on the meeting room floor.

"We do not have sex together. What made you think that?"

This was it. You were going to die, and it was from choking caused by sheer embarrassment. Where was Saigiku when you needed him?

"Then why were you moaning in his office yesterday?"

"I was showing him how women fake orgasms. Like a good friend does."

The conversation was fresh in your mind - he was saying that he had never had a woman fake an orgasm, of course, you had to prove how easy it was to fake it. It had you both on the floor in laughter, because it was a little ridiculous; even if a part of you wished that it was real.

Hiding those thoughts from him was a little difficult, but it was easy when you hid it under the gauze of laughter.

"That's not a normal friend conversation..."

"We're just that close."

That might have been your favorite part of being with Saigiku. Even if you would never be with him, you could always have him in that close bond.

You were close. That was it. Close, like friends.

-

"Y/n."

Saigiku's voice was deeper than it usually was - either because he was tired, or because the phone distorted his voice to a deeper pitch. Maybe a mix of both.

"Saigiku. How are you?"

"Dying. That mission was awful, I don't know why Fukuchi would make me do it alone."

"I wish I could have gone with you-"

"You would have died. Literally. I would rather it be me than you." His voice was so serious, you wish you could slap it out of him. Or kiss.

"Shut up! You don't know that."

"I do. You need a big strong man to protect you, considering how you can't even walk with your own two feet."

"I only tripped one time, dickhead. Also, sexism isn't a cute look on you."

You could hear how he huffed with laughter. He must have been dead on his feet - he could last so much longer when he bantered with you. The man had petty insults on you for days, saved up for the most random conversations between the two of you. This call could have lasted hours.

"Y/n. I'm coming over to yours. It's closer to the train station."

"This is the warning you're giving me? I'm in my pajamas, you know?"

"I'd rather have you in nothing at all."

And what the hell do you say to that? A noise came out of your throat, but there weren't words to accompany it. You were left there standing by your kitchen table, where you'd left your phone to charge, when Saigiku had waved his temporary goodbyes.

He said those kinds of things, and it was impossible to know if it was a joke or genuine.

It left you a little nervous, cleaning up your apartment for his arrival. You weren't messy, per say - but compared to him, you were a disaster.

Saigiku was a man who kept his apartment organized with mathematical precision. Even with the job he had, the dishes were clean and the laundry was always folded. He owned exactly fourteen pairs of everything, so he could keep his clothes in a perfect dry clean laundry rotation.

He was a bit of a psychopath, in that aspect.

You, on the other hand, looked like a mess. God forbid you had clean laundry that wasn't ironed to perfection. Maybe you were a little messy - eating off of paper plates once and a while, and leaving soap residue around your bathroom.

The man never failed to notice, and he would gladly make it a spat between the two of you. Sometimes you left it messy on purpose, just to see him fold your laundry and do your dishes - domesticating Saigiku was a funny sight, especially when he was still arguing with you.

But tonight he was tired. Maybe in the morning, you could force him to make you breakfast.

Right now? You'd give him the peace of mind of having clean dishes to eat off of.

Because you were a good friend, you had to remind yourself.

There was nothing to the feeling of seeing him behind your front door. His warm smile meant nothing, and neither did the hug he gave only to you in moments like these.

The extra long second between the two of you, where he swayed his feet and put his nose against your hair - it was nothing special, because you were just two close friends greeting each other after a bad day of work.

If Saigiku had looked at you with his eyes, he probably wouldn't have shown you anything special in there either. Ignoring the feeling in your body at every touch had become second nature, because you knew that he felt nothing for you.

He only lingered because he cared about you. Nothing more.

-

"Did you have sex with Jouno finally?"

"Why would you think that?"

Tachihara merely stared at you - he looked exhausted, as if you had told him the same unfunny joke for three years straight.

To be fair, even you were sick of your pining. It was stale and old, to be after the same man with no results.

"You walked in with him today?"

"That's because he slept over at my place. He's done that a lot - nothing special."

The ginger looked at you as if you had grown two heads, but really, it was nothing new, and he knew that. Letting a man like Saigiku spend a night at your place?

There was always something to it. You were lying to yourself, but you didn't want to break the charade and hurt yourself.

"Is it?"

"He doesn't like me."

"Don't say that-"

"He doesn't. Trust me, if he did, I would have noticed already."

Last night you had fallen asleep on top of him, and neither of you had said anything. You had stayed like that for maybe a minute, or possibly ten - nothing was said about heartbeat, and nothing was said about how your hands were in places they didn't belong.

He had gotten up, and woken you up with breakfast; like a disgruntled housewife. No other man in your life had ever done that for you, but you weren't going to let yourself think it meant anything special.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." The doubt that sat in your stomach was dutifully ignored as you went back to your work, trying to focus on it.

The feeling went to the back of your mind once again. It didn't even exist, really; as long as Saigiku wasn't there or in the conversation, you could ignore those pesky little feelings practically forever.

"Are you thinking about me?"

The blood in your body practically burst as you felt two hands wrap themselves around your shoulders. It was a gentle hold, firm as they squeezed through your uniform.

They were familiar and warm, reminding you of the feeling from last night. It was relieving to feel it there again, even if it was embarrassing to know how much you truly missed it.

"Always am, Saigiku. Always am."

There was hacking from across the room, but you ignored it as you leaned against the man behind you, hitting his chest with the back of your head gently.

"You should be. I've never stopped thinking about you."

"Really?"

"Always on my mind. You're like a disease."

Despite his words, his voice sounded gentle, as if he were speaking through cotton and silk.

"What kind of disease?" Once again, you were trying to swallow the disappointment that built up inside of your chest - you loved him, but you were delusional to think that he would love you back. He was just teasing.

"The stupid kind that I love."

"I'm not stupid! Asshole!" You reached up to slap him, stopping just short of his face. He grabbed your wrists, entangling your arms with yours and swaying your body together as he shook his head.

"Yeah, you are."

"Am not."

"Y/n. I love you."

Saigiku's face was close to yours, and you could feel how he smelled your hair like the freak he was.

I love you?

"Fucking hell don't make me repeat it. Isn't it obvious?"

"Oh...I love you too?" You almost wanted to cry, because what the fuck was going on. It was hard to even let yourself think in the moment, because the man was taking up your space and was saying words you wanted to hear-

This couldn't be real. Maybe you were under attack, because this felt too good to be true.

"Not as a friend. I mean in the 'I want to go back home with you' kind of way."

"We already do that." You didn't know why you said that - you were waiting for his face to twist into a grimace, or for an annoyed groan to sound. But instead, he kept a smile on there, waiting patiently.

"Get the point. I want to kiss you. And do the other things boring couples do."

"...Oh."

You spun your chair around to face him properly. There was the chance to breathe again, without smelling his fancy cologne and the smell of fireworks on his uniform.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

The man before you sighed. It was a low whine, a sound you never expected to hear from him.

"I did tell you. I've been telling you every day. You just don't notice anything. Seriously, do you think I would wake up and make breakfast for just anyone?"

Saigiku leaned in close as he said this, his lips close enough to yours that you could see how smooth they were.

Reaching your hand up, you brought it to his face, carefully tracing lines across his smooth skin.

"Sorry."

Pulling him in closer felt embarassing - it was something you had imagined, but having him in your hands right there had your limbs nearly falling apart.

You expected a kiss, like your fantasies; but instead, his arms wrapped around you in a tight hug, dragging you up from your chair like a cat and up into his arms, standing with him. Your legs felt weak, and there was an embarrassed feeling creeping up as you pressed your body weight against his.

"You should be sorry. I thought you were doing it on purpose."

"And if I was?"

"Then maybe I'll let you go. Seriously, why can't you stand?"

He was swaying the both of you gently, his arms locked firmly against your waist and holding you gently. His body was warm and smelled like him, protecting you from the AC and the overwhelming smell of the building.

"Because I fell for you, Saigiku."

"Yeah, I'm dropping you."

Despite this, he held you for longer than was socially acceptable.

This was for my valentine's event, remember that? remember how i have an event? that im supposed to be writing for? haha me neither.....yeaaaa me neither.

sorry to the people who requested. im slow as helllllllll. also you can still request by the way haha

[one-vivid-judgment]

You know what I love about the Ichigang? That they were all alone and at rock bottom at some point, with no one to rely on for support:

- Nanba wanted to be like Nightingale, but then got fired because he took the fall for someone else, who ended up having lied to him for her own benefits. His brother was being watched by the Geomijul and then disappeared; Nanba spent a long ass time homeless and not knowing if his brother was alive or not. 

- Adachi lived with the Kusumi incident in his conscience for years, hating Horinouchi's guts and hoping to find something to take the guy down. First he's demoted to the license center, then he's straight up fired. No job, no retirement, man never got married or had a family. The Barkeep even says he's "not usually a happy drunk" and that "it's the first time in a long time I see him smile like that".

- Saeko's family life is a DISASTER. Her mom died, her sister wants nothing to do with her (to the point where they were both working for the same guy and Nanoha EXPLICITLY told Nonomiya not to tell her sister about it, even when things were tough and she could've used Saeko's help), her dad is old and dying. She is on her own and basically only has her girls and Nonomiya—until Nonomoya dies, and she's conflicted cause sure, he wasn't the best guy around, but he was still there for her when she needed, and now he's gone. 

- Yeonsu's life, man. Yeonsu's fucking life. His dad was a drunkard who abused his son and cared about him so little that he had no qualms basically giving Yeonsu up as tribute to the Jingweon mafia to turn him into their leader's double—mind you, this means he could've been killed at any point. He basically lived as the shadow of someone else for years, never being seen for himself but for Joongi Han. 

- Zhao's Liumang leader status was passed down from his dad. He was doing a good job although he's clearly more passionate about cooking and having his restaurant—that he doesn't mind a simpler life and even EMBRACES it and gets angry when anyone suggests he's "just some chef". He still lead the Liumang though. And then his men and right hand turn on him and try to get him killed and what do you know, suddenly there is nothing anymore. 

- Seonhee was a kid when the whole Jingweon mafia shit show happened and then it all came crashing down. Her people who managed to escape alive were left on their own and abandoned until the Geomijul was created. 

- Even Eri, the optional party member, was in a similar situation. She was tricked by Hosho and her company was at the verge of shutting down, and when she thought she had a chance to get back on her feet thanks to Nonomiya's help, she finds out he died, and basically, as far as she knows, all hope is lost. 

And then, Chitose and Tomizawa. I feel they are the perfect example of how easy it is to stray and go down the wrong path when you are in that type of situation, and how even the tiniest kind gesture can do wonders to you:

- Chitose was a sheltered rich girl whose whole life was dictated by her parents. She craved the independence and the freedom and she wanted CONNECTION—which is how she ended up falling in Eiji's trap and being blackmailed for years and manipulated into using people who actually cared about her and with whom she was finally developing that connection she always yearned for. As far as she knows, said people will push her to the side as soon as they find out about her betrayal, and then she'll be alone again. 

- Tomizawa was living the live with his girlfriend, a nice job and a kid on the way—until Dwight and the Barracuda pinned their crimes on him. He went to jail, Marie lost the baby and then disappeared, he's blacklisted from every bank and had to go to Yamai for help with his debts, and after that, he basically became a puppet who did everythint Yamai asked him to out of fear. He hates himself for being a coward who's not able to pull the trigger even when it's necessary, and he blames himself for everything that happened. He is a horrible person in his own eyes, and as far as he knows, there is no getting out of this situation. 

And then there is Ichi, who has seen nothing but rock bottom for so fucking long but still manages to see the bright side of things. He is a good person, sometimes borderline stupid and his choices end up making his superiors (aka Sawashiro) mad. But it doesn't matter how much life beats him down, he always gets back up because he has that "once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up" philosophy. And, although some of his friends have used him for their benefit or straight up assaulted him, Ichi never turns his back on them. Because he KNOWS how it feels to be alone and to not have anyone there for you, anyone that you can rely on, and if he can be that someone, then he WILL be. If he can change a single person's life, he WILL. 

Anyway, I love the Ichigang so much and these are the kind of thoughts I have about them at 1 a.m

[magicpiano]

AU where Von Karma kills Miles instead of Gregory

Manfred Von Karma just got a dent in his perfect record. Gregory Edgeworth almost took away the thing that mattered most to him. Isn't it only fair that he destroy what matters most to Gregory in return? Besides when that elevator opened it became obvious that the child was the one to shoot him in the shoulder. Turnabout is fair play, right?

So Gregory lives, but his son is dead and despite being the only possible suspect, Yanni Yogi gets away with it. His son's murderer walks free, so Gregory quits his job as a defense attorney. It is hard to believe in what he does anymore.

His life is mostly quiet— lonely. He doesn't really talk to his friends anymore. He doesn't do much of anything anymore. He does some kind of boring law work, like property law or contracts or something and everyday he goes home to an empty house.

Until one day he gets a call from his dead son's best friend. You see Phoenix Wright has been accused of murder.

Phoenix lost his taste for defense attorneys when one got his best friend's murderer off, and somewhere along the line he decided he wanted to become a prosecutor. He wanted to be the best prosecutor so that no guilty party ever got away with murder again. That goal led him to the court house one day, and led him to meeting his current girlfriend. Then it led to a murder accusation.

No, Phoenix doesn't quite like defense attorneys, but... He still remembers how Miles saved him that day. He remembers how Miles talked about his father the same way he talked about the Steal Samurai. Like he was a hero. And right now, Phoenix really needs a hero. Who else would he trust with his life?

Gregory hasn’t defended anyone in years. He is out of hope and out of practice, but Phoenix won't accept anyone else. For all that he has given up years ago, he can't let Miles' friend down. Because Phoenix is one of the only people still alive that remembers Miles— that still cares about him. Because in all the pictures where Miles was smiling the brightest, Phoenix was next to him. Because Miles thought Gregory was a hero. He isn't. He couldn't even save his own son, but maybe, just maybe he can save his son's friend.

But you see this girl named Mia Fey really wants this case. Phoenix might not want her as his defense attorney, but that won't stop her. She is going to be Gregory's co-council on this case whether he wants her or not.

And they win of course, but Gregory nearly has a heart attack when Phoenix eats a glass bottle of poison because he can't lose him too— But he is fine. Heartbroken, but fine. And Gregory had saved him.

For the first time in years he has a purpose again.

Mia has a case she is working on, and wouldn't you know it, Gregory is actually kind of involved. So she leaves her job with Grossberg and joins Gregory as he restarts his defense agency.

He starts taking cases again— he starts helping people again. He reconnects with the friends he has been ignoring for years, like Ray. He helps Phoenix study for his law exams. He researches that case with Mia. He starts to live again.

Mia is researching a dangerous case, a long history of blackmail and extortion. If she didn't have help it would have taken twice as long, if she didn't have help maybe she would have died. But she did have help. Gregory wasn't going to let anyone use his son's death as a weapon to hurt others, including the Fey family's reputation.

They find their evidence, press charges and wouldn't you know it, they have a prosecutor on their side, one who is not afraid of Redd White’s threats. Working together, Phoenix wins the case and gains a lot of fame for it.

(And when Larry is accused of murder, Gregory takes that case too, all the while laughing at what troublesome friends his son had.)

All of this is a problem for Von Karma, because Gregory is a very good defense attorney. Phoenix might have been the one to prosecute Redd White, but Von Karma knows where all the evidence came from.

Gregory wasn't a problem when he was depressed and not practicing law, but now all of a sudden he is gaining a name for himself again. He took down Redd White. He is winning cases and someday they might just face off against each other again. And if Von Karma isn't careful, Gregory just might win.

Gregory is the one person capable of beating Von Karma which is why he needs to be dealt with.

Maybe Gregory should have ignored a letter from Robert Hammond, but how could he? The man got his son's murderer off the hook! And so Hammond dies, and Gregory is arrested, but things don't turn out how Von Karma thought they would.

Gregory has a lot of friends who all help him investigate, and Mia has learned a lot under Gregory, and Phoenix has been running around looking for files from the prosecutor's side, and Gumshoe likes Gregory way more than Von Karma and helps in any way he can, and Ray has been doing everything he can to help too. Because while Von Karma has a legacy of victory, Gregory has a legacy of love.

And when Von Karma is arrested for Miles Edgeworth's murder, Phoenix turns to him and promises to be the prosecutor for his trial. He became a prosecutor because his best friend didn't get justice, but he isn't going to let that happen a second time.

It is not a happy ending. For Gregory, the only happy ending would be if his son was still alive.

But he has a reason to live again. There are always bad days, but he has friends who won't let him wallow too long. Every day he helps people, and when he visits Miles' grave he finally has stories to tell.

Phoenix is talking about routing out corruption in the prosecutor's office. For all that it sounds like an impossible task, Gregory thinks Phoenix might even be able to pull it off.

Miles used to think his father was a hero. Gregory isn't that, not by a long shot, but... He hopes he can be half the man his son believed he was.

[mrsoftthoughts]

Just Some of my headcanons of the Di Angelo(s) in the 30's

(that honestly are pretty delusional but sometimes i just want to think of them as a happy family before the Washington DC event and the lotus casino ok??)

- Maria is the oldest sister of the 3 daughters of the marchese Stéfano Di angelo and her father little gem as the only daughter of his first "marriage" (*Cof* *cof* daughterofVenusMariadiAngelo *Cof*)

- Hades proposed and married Maria because no fucking way that he let a woman of her status being judged for having a long term relationship without a ring and even less having kids with her out of wedlock ( in fact the ring was what make that Persephone don't like Maria, she couldn't care less if only she stayed as her husband girlfriend, i may explain this in another post some day)

- Hades was there for Bianca and Nico while they grow up, living with them during the spring and summer and being always looking up for them in some way during winter , they really got to be a family, Family vacations around Europe, little and silly baking days, Nico and bianca trying to convince the house personal to helping them to spy their parents dates, that kind of things

-Alecto has been the kids babysitter and bodyguard since they were born, her job is just slay anything that it dares to try attack them, even in hades presence in order to him doesn't get distracted from the family activities

-Stéfano really loves his Son-in-law, for him is the son that he never had, he doesn't know that hades is a god, but he's concius that just like his lover he is something non human and that his grand kids are also especial like his daughter, but he doesn't seem in hades the intention of letting behind Maria like Venus do it to him, and Hades is probably the only man wealthy enough and with enough class to be of his liking for his little princess, so he isn't complaining

-And don't make him talk about his grandchilds, because you're gonna be stuck hearing him talk of them for hours, Bianca and Nico are the first since that maria is the only one of his daughters in age to have kids and he couldn't be more happy when the nurses anounced that Nico was a Boy, he may be a girls father but he really wanted a male from his blood, and sice he didn't get a son he was rejoicing for his grandson he really spoiled those little things

- Nico and bianca were homeschooled and The family end up getting the reputation of being "really hard" towards the personal tutors of Bianca and Nico, actually they just dont tolerate the bullshit of entitled people calling their kids stupid or lazy because they couldn't read right lenguajes that weren't romances or Greek... Needs to say, they fired a lot a people until they find people that really were disposed to teach the kids and not just screaming at them ,Even getting people that weren't from Italy for that because their kids only would have the best and would be treated with the respect that they deserved

- Bianca plays the piano, Nico the violin, I'm not elaborating, just trust me

- in fact their music instructors end up being zagreus and macaria, they were introduced to everyone except Maria and the kids as hades cousins because there isn't a logic and no controversial way to say that the full grown adults over there are his children

-Bianca used to have a Best friend, she lived in Switzerland so they only could see each other every once in a while when one of them was allowed to stay with the other for a time, the last thing that the girl know about bianca is that she moved to the US and then... Well, we know what happened there ( in some place in Switzerland there's and old lady that still concerned about what happened to her friend)

[pagannatural]

2.04 Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things

-“Yeah right—stuck with those people making awkward small talk until you show up? No thanks”

Clingy Dean is my favorite. He’s going through a hard time and he only wants to be around his Emotional Support Sammy

-At the hotel, Sam does that thing he does where he tells Dean he can see through him and he knows that he’s feeling some type of way about their dad’s death. This is a common romance trope. He knows Dean so so well.

-Every single episode now Sam has pushed Dean to talk to him. I wonder if he suspects that there is more to it than grief for Dean.

-It’s so interesting how their different ways of caring for each other come out—in s1 Dean was always worried about Sam because he’d just lost Jessica. He was patient with Sam and didn’t push him, but it was clear he was noting how much he ate and slept, and he did things like letting Sam sleep while he researched or offering food or letting him drive or putting on music he likes to doze to. Sam needs that respectful caregiving. Sam, however, is relentless when he sees that Dean is suffering and won’t let Dean ignore it. Dean needs that so that he can’t lie or turn away.

-Dean finally looks at Sam head-on after evading him the whole conversation, and Sam kind of draws back. Not fearfully, more like when the person you’re walking with suddenly stops so you do too.

-Sam says “you wanna take another swing? Go ahead, if it’ll make you feel better.” He sounds a little bratty, almost condescending. Like, You wanna do it again since you loved it so much? Since you felt so good after? (Dean didn’t.)

Underneath that, though…there’s softness, like Sam really would let Dean hit him again. He needs Dean to give him something. That punch in the face just didn’t last and he’s desperate.

Dean leaves and I think he’s feeling pretty exposed right now. He’s a liar and his lies don’t work on Sam.

-Sam is a kicked puppy when Dean leaves him. He looks much more devastated here than he did after Dean punched him and walked away. At least when he punched him he didn’t ask to be alone after.

Sam is so worried about Dean. His expression is pleading.

-When Dean comes back, Sam is watching something called “casa erotica 4.” He’s watching it with what looks like scholarly interest, or like he’s trying to figure out the plot from the first three movies he missed. Did he think maybe erotica would make him feel less sad about Dean? Evidently it’s pay per view so Sam had to have actually sought this out. He hasn’t done more than kiss anyone since Jessica died, so maybe this is meant to remind the viewer that he’s horny. So to recount, this episode he’s horny and he’s pleading desperately with Dean for something. I’m just contextualizing.

-Sam says “where the hell were you?” which is something an angry girlfriend would say.

-Dean is very indignant that Sam thought he was wrong about the case. Dean was right, and tells Sam he does actually know how to do his job. Sam used to openly look up to him so of course this is important to him, that Sam still thinks he’s capable.

-Their fights are just SO good. Sam is yelling at Dean that he’s scary and erratic and if this hadn’t been a case “you would’ve just found something else to kill” which gets Dean’s attention. Last episode he basically told Sam that he needs him to keep him from his violent impulses, from just being a killer. Dean walks away again until Sam says “Please—Dean—it’s killing you. Please.” I wonder if Sam says “please” to Dean like this only when he really, really needs him to listen because he knows that it works. Dean finally stops and looks at him, almost reproachfully. His kryptonite.

The fact that Dean feeling unhappy is such an issue for Sam that he’s fighting and begging and asking to be punched makes me want to hurl myself into the sun. He REALLY needs Dean to be okay. If Dean ever tried to pull away from him when they were kids, or ever seemed like he was refusing to talk about something bothering him, Sam must have lost his damn mind. And that’s exactly how Dean would’ve coped with feelings for Sam.

-Sam says they’ve already lost their parents. He says “I’ve lost Jessica. And now I’m gonna lose you too?”

If someone said to you “I’ve already lost my girlfriend. And now I’m going to lose you too?” It would probably feel like you were in a similar role to their girlfriend.

It’s also wild that Sam is comparing their parents’ and his girlfriend’s horrific and violent deaths with Dean just simply not talking about his pain. Like, Jessica burned to a crisp on my ceiling and now this? Emotional distance when I’m sad?

-The way Sam nods when Dean says “I’m being an ass and I’m sorry” is very baby brother. It’s similar to the way he nods when Dean asks him if he’s hungry when he comes back from the dead, just more cross.

-Dean tells him “I hear you” but right now they have a zombie to catch, and he starts walking, leaving Sam crestfallen.

-Dean thinks that Angela’s description of Neal being a shoulder to cry on and understanding what she’s going through sounds like Neal is in “unrequited ducky love” with her and your honor that’s exactly how Sam is treating Dean in this very episode, if only Dean would accept his shoulder.

-Dean says the following while making uninterrupted eye contact with Sam:

Okay!

-Sam tells Dean his plan was “pretty sharp” so now Dean can stop worrying that Sam doesn’t think he’s good at hunting

-Episode theme is “what’s dead should stay dead.”

Dean eventually pulls over and gets out of the car to tell Sam they both know John traded his life for Dean’s. Dean thinks he should be dead and that Sam thinks so too.

This conversation is heartbreaking because Dean asks what Sam could possibly say to make it alright, and when Sam struggles with something but doesn’t speak, Dean seems to take this as him agreeing.

Sam clearly doesn’t agree that Dean should be dead or blaming himself. Sam looks frustrated and worried and upset that Dean could even think that. For one thing Sam just sees things differently and probably hasn’t bothered questioning John’s death very much, and for another Sam chose Dean over John so many times that we can safely assume he’s at peace with this exchange. But he couldn’t possibly say anything right now to make Dean understand, so he just listens.

-Dean’s guilt over John dying for him weighs heavily, and keeping things from Sam is slowly ripping him apart. It will be important in later episodes that Dean struggles so much to keep anything from Sam.

-The way Sam looks at Dean here. He loves him so much. He looks resolute, and I wonder if he’s thinking that he’s going to show Dean he wants him and doesn’t blame him.

[sadhours]

simmer down - chapter one

billy hargrove x hagan!oc

read on ao3 • masterlist • requests are open!

a/n: here is the rewrite!!! hope you all like it.

warnings: slow burn, secret crush, oc x steve, angst, underage drinking

word count: 10k

Gina Hagan had things easy. She knew she was pretty, she’d been told so her entire life. And okay, so Hawkin’s was a small midwestern town, maybe the bar was pretty low but she still had smooth sailing because of her looks. Her brother being popular helped. Freshmen year at Hawkin’s High was nothing short of a breeze. It meant a guaranteed spot with the cool crowd. People flocked to her because she was Tommy’s sister and who was his best friend? None other than the King himself, Steve Harrington. Hawkin’s one and only golden boy. His parents were filthy rich, rumors always swirling about their professions but Gina had the close connection to know the truth. His dad came from old money, had a shit ton of real estate across many states but was bred and born right here in quaint little Hawkin’s. He wanted his son to have a similar upbringing so well, they stayed here. However, with Mrs. Harrington’s job, once little Stevie could take care of himself, they were never in Hawkin’s much. Two months of the year, really. July and Christmas. They didn’t like winters in Indiana, so in all honestly it was about a month and a week. Barbara Harrington was a lawyer and a damned good one. Big corporations had her on the payroll and Steve says there’s a lot of schmoozing that comes along with the job. Gina’s met them a handful of times, mostly when she was a kid but they were always kind. She has a distinct memory of clinging to Tommy’s side when the Harrington’s bought them winter jackets.

Gina remembers feeling inferior to the Harrington’s when she was kid. Steve had called them poor a number of times. He’d say his parents were doing their charity when they brought over Christmas presents to the Hagan’s. Barbara told her she’d always wanted a little girl and so each year for Christmas and Gina’s birthday, she’d bring over at least ten gifts for her. Clothes, expensive clothes and shoes. Her mom was hesitant but Gina was excited to wear them to school.

Her parents were as well off. They struggled when her and Tommy were young. However, thanks to Tommy’s insistence on Steve in grade school, James and Barbara Harrington became close with her parents and offered them jobs. Their dad managed one of James’ properties and their mom practically ran Barbara’s headquarters here in Hawkin’s. Their families were close, they celebrated Christmas together. Steve was practically a brother. Except Gina had been harboring a fat crush on him since he was twelve and she was ten. A crush that got obsessive but she’d managed to keep under wraps until she was about fourteen. Damned her and Tommy’s unexpected little sister. Bridgette Hagan was born six years after Gina, a total whoops baby. In fact, their mother was scheduled to get her tubes tied but the doctor cancelled last minute and Bridgette was conceived shortly after. So one night at dinner, Steve was staying over and the spunky eight year old had spilled Gina’s dearly kept secret.

“Gina likes Steve!” she had proclaimed before digging into her mashed potatoes.

Gina about died. Her smattering of freckles disguised behind the redness of her face. It was the most humiliating moment thus far. Tommy had seemed just as embarrassed, telling Bridgette to shut up as Gina stood up and ran to her bedroom. Only for Steve to appear minutes later and tell her everything was alright and he didn’t hate her.

Then, Gina turned fifteen. Her parents threw her a sweet little party. A nice dinner at Enzo’s, the guest list included their five piece family, Steve, a few of her friends and Tommy’s girlfriend, Carol. It was nice, she felt fancy and pretty in her formal black dress. Carol had styled her hair that night, showed her how to do makeup. Gina loved Carol. She was like a big sister. Even if Gina got grossed about her and Tommy, she still felt wonderfully close to Carol. After dinner, they went back to the Hagan’s house for cake and once their parents went to bed, Steve had swirled his keys around his fingers and told Gina and everyone he had an after party waiting at his empty house.

Gina was nervous to drink that night, she’d never really had much alcohol except for sips off beers Tommy had offered. But Steve had mixed her a couple of cocktails, simple ones; vodka and juice. And Gina had never felt more special than that moment, her and Steve Harrington alone in his kitchen as he told her she’d like the drink and then tucked her curly brown hair behind her ear and told her she had the prettiest eyes he’d ever seen. He was so wonderfully handsome, big brown eyes and floppy hair.

“Come with me,” Steve had said, “I wanna show you something.”

Gina had followed him up to his pristine room, the one with plaid wallpaper. Steve bought her a pair of earrings. He put them on for her and kissed her. It wasn’t Gina’s first kiss but it might as well have been. The first French kiss she’d had. His tongue felt magical against hers, Gina was sure she’d combust right there on his bed when it’d happened. Never in her life had she’d felt that way from a kiss. Steve ignited every nerve ending, she almost cried when he pulled away and told her how beautiful she was.

Losing your virginity to Steve Harrington was something special, even if she knew of five other girls who’d had the same fate. She didn’t even think about those girls when it happened. Steve had made her feel like she was the only woman in the world. Made her feel like a woman. It was gentle and sweet and everything Gina had wanted. Afterwards, he told her Tommy couldn’t find out and she was on board. She knew he’d be upset, wouldn’t want anything to jeopardize his long-standing friendship with Steve. But after that, Gina was addicted. Infatuated. Steve Harrington was a God that walked among men.

Gina would fill her diary with how handsome and funny Steve was. An entire page was dedicated to her practicing her signature with Steve’s last name. Gina Harrington scrawled out repeatedly in her most practiced cursive. She remembers one time Steve found it, teased her about it until he straddled her on her twin size bed and kissed her dizzy.

They continued sneaking around for almost a whole year. Whenever Steve spent the night, Gina could expect the lanky brunette to creep into her bedroom and make her feel on cloud nine. It was a blissful seven months. That was, until her classmate, Nancy Wheeler caught his attention. The worst part was that Steve never broke up with Gina. Not that they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend but things just abruptly shifted. Steve stopped sneaking into her room when he spent the night, his eyes no longer found hers in a crowded room. But Gina held on. Steve would spend the night and she would lay in bed and wait for what once was. It never came.

Steve dove head first into Nancy. The real kicker was when Gina sat with Tommy, Carol and Nancy’s friend Barb in Steve’s backyard while he added Nancy Wheeler to the notches in his bed post. It was excruciating. She was just as miserable as Barb that night. Perhaps it was a lord opportunity to make a new friend but Gina didn’t want to be friendly with Barb that night. She was a gear in the workings that ruined what was most important to Gina.

Gina withdrew. She’d broke down one night and confessed everything to Carol, who held her close and told her Steve was the biggest asshole in existence. Gina couldn’t find it in herself to agree. Steve had made her feel so special. Carol had formulated all these plans to ruin Steve’s life, break him and Nancy up and make Steve regret ever hurting Gina. It was sweet. Carol was the best big sister, even if she wasn’t really.

It was much easier when Steve had gotten into a fight with Tommy. Her brother never told her exactly happened but Gina knew it was bad because Steve started acting like they didn’t exist. And the boys fought a lot through out the years but nothing like that time. It had to do with Nancy. That much was clear, but Tommy and Carol wouldn’t talk about it. Gina thinks it was because they’d done something horrible. Perhaps because Carol knew how much Steve had hurt Gina and she had to get revenge, even if Gina insisted she didn’t.

Therefore, it’d been a whole summer without Steve. Gina’s first since she was in grade school. It wasn’t that drastically different than the summer before— parties, swimming and lazy days lounged on the couch. Except this one was empty. No brown eyes and floppy, big hair to gaze at. No empty house to relax at. The swimming she’d done had been at the community pool and not the Harrington’s. The parties lacked one exceptional guest. Lazy days were lonely without Steve’s jokes and lingering touches. The boys she’d fooled around with never gave her the same feelings Steve did. Gina didn’t get the tingling in her fingers and toes when any of them kissed her neck. Her thoughts didn’t fizzle out when they went down on her. She’s slept with a handful of them but it wasn’t nearly as exciting as it was with Steve. They didn’t make her feel special. She didn’t want to even look at them whenever it was finished. But she remembered always cuddling with Steve, joking around and the compliments Steve would give her. No one compared. She’d found love and she’d lost it just as quick.

Carol and her grew even closer, but Tommy got upset when she didn’t join in on the shit talking. Gina couldn’t even find the energy to hate Nancy, as much as Carol insisted she should. Nancy wasn’t the problem here, she had no idea what secrets went on between Steve and his best friends little sister. It was pointless to hate her.

Even if Gina was bitter. She’d compare herself to Nancy but would be at a loss. Steve had told her how beautiful she was, how smart she was, how funny she was. Gina hadn’t changed, but Steve had. Steve was the problem here and the quicker Gina accepted that, the better.

;;;

“Hurry up!” Tommy bangs on the bathroom door.

Gina huffs as she grabs the wide tooth comb and rakes it through her tangle of loose chestnut curls. She was about due for another perm but that was a problem for another day. She’d overslept and would have preferred to shower but wouldn’t have the time. She’d washed her armpits and nether regions with a washcloth at the sink, Carol referred to this lovingly as a whores bath. Gina thinks Carol’s really funny and she’s pretty sure Carol thinks so too.

When Gina swings the bathroom door open, her equally as freckled brother pushes past her and shoves her out of the room before slamming the door. Their relationship was an interesting one. They were attached at the hip most their lives, the photos decorating the hallways show a young Tommy holding an infant Gina with adoration in his eyes. Their mom says he was infatuated with her when she was a baby, doting on her and it only started to waver when he started going through puberty. It felt like rejection at first but the older they got, the better they got along. When she started high school, Tommy made sure she sat with him and his friends at lunch. He brought her along to parties and always included her. He wasn’t necessarily protective but if Gina needed, she knew he’d punch in any man’s face who hurt her. Especially Steve Harrington. But that would mean admitting she betrayed her brother by falling in love with his best friend, and she couldn’t do that.

Gina dresses in a white tennis skirt, a striped polo and slouchy socks with her pink Ked’s. She puts on minimal makeup, a bit of rouge and mascara. It’s October, a skirts not the best choice but Gina loves wearing them enough to suffer through a bit of chill. She shoves her arms through a lavender colored zip up hoodie and ties half her hair up with a matching scrunchie. Tommy’s waiting impatiently at the door when she exits her room, mumbling under his breath as he opens the door for them and locks it. He’s always complaining about her being late.

His Toyota is messy, Gina steps on paper bags and cups as she climbs in the front seat. Any comments to clean it would fall on deaf ears. A rebuttal that she could walk her ass to school would be made if she said anything. It was a hand-me-down from their uncle, Tommy’s sixteenth birthday present. She remembers how he grumbled about Steve getting a brand new BMW for his and Gina didn’t complain when she wasn’t gifted a car on her sixteenth birthday. She didn’t have her license anyways. The hundred dollars from her parents was a nice enough gift. She purchased a Walkman and cassettes with it.

They pick up Carol on the way and Gina’s sentenced to the backseat which is even messier than the front. All is well though. She feels good about today. No reason to aside for handing out fliers her and Tina made for a Halloween party. Tina’s parents are going to a party in Indianapolis so it’s the perfect opportunity. They’d planned it as soon as they found out the girls’ house would be empty for the holiday. Gina liked planning parties, though it wasn’t much planning. The kids coming would bring the booze and they didn’t exactly decorate. Gina liked to be involved though. She was kind of close to Tina. They weren’t best friends and Tina was friendly with almost everyone at Hawkin’s High. But there were many a drunk night spent between the two where they told secrets. Like how Tina had slept with Tommy during one of his and Carol’s many break-ups and she really didn’t want Carol to find out. Gina didn’t tell her about Steve, though. But she told her a secret about one of her embarrassing hookups.

When they arrive at the school, Gina and Carol find their way to Tina, Becca and Stacy. The five girls lean against Tina’s car while Tommy talks to his basketball buddies. Gina watches as Steve’s BMW pulls into the lot, Nancy in the front seat and she tries not to let her disappointment make itself known on her face. It’s been long enough. She should be used to it at this point. It still stings. Gina wishes she was in Nancy’s place.

A rumble of a loud engine grabs everyone’s attention. A pretty night blue 79’ Z28 Camaro drives by and into the spot opposite the girls. Everyone’s eyes are glued on it. No one in Hawkin’s has a car like that. It belongs to an outsider, a stranger. Gina’s in love with the car the second she sees it. It’s fucking awesome. The California plates catch her attention. PCE 235. It’s hard to read until it comes to a stop. The loud music erupting from the car cuts off and the drivers door swings open.

Worn motorcycle boots and thick denim legs emerge, Gina couldn’t look away if she wanted to. The man who emerges from the Camaro literally takes her breath away. Blonde, curly mullet and a hint of a mustache. He’s fucking gorgeous. A young redhead climbs out the passenger side with a skateboard, she’s wearing a red Adidas sweatshirt. She throws the board down and skates up to the middle school. The guy takes a pull from his cigarette, gives a little smirk to the four girls and then tosses the cigarette before strutting towards the school.

Gina’s breath catches in her throat. An immediate attraction to the boy. The Scorpions song he was blasting helps. They clearly have a similar interest and she’s floored with the possibilities that could be. She wants to talk to him so bad.

“Who is that?” Stacy asks what they’re all thinking.

“I have no idea,” Tina replies, “but would you check out that ass? Just look at it go.”

Oh, Gina is. His Levi’s are so fucking tight, they show off his thick thighs and perfect ass. She’s almost embarrassed by the physical reaction she’s having to the newcomer. Tommy’s jogging over, looking amongst the girls.

“Who the fuck is that?” he asks, face all contorted in excitement.

“We don’t know,” Carol says.

“His car is fucking bitchin’,” he gushes.

;;;

Tommy moves fast. Gina realizes as much when she’s walking up towards their house and sees that gorgeous Camaro parked on the street. Her heart flutters when she sees it. The chance to meet the stranger is exciting.

She’d just been at the music store, used her allowance to buy a record and a cassette. They were the same album. She wanted one to listen to at home and another to put in her Walkman.

Gina passes by her parents as she makes her way up the sidewalk. She smiles at them. They’re preparing for the cold months about to come. Uprooting the plants that won’t make it, unhooking the house and whatever else.

“Tommy’s got a new friend over,” her mother says.

Gina points at the Camaro, “I see that.”

“Seems like a nice kid,” her dad offers, “Very respectful.”

“Yeah?” Gina smiles.

Her mom gives her a knowing look, “You think he’s handsome?”

“Well, he is,” she gushes. “I haven’t talked to him, yet. He was nice?”

“Definitely. Complimented my roses as I ripped them out,” her dad says. “Nice car too.”

“Really nice car.”

“Why don’t you go and introduce yourself?” Gina’s mom insists, “Ask if he’d like to stay for dinner.”

Gina nods with a grin before opening the front door. She’s greeted with the sound of Metallica blaring out of Tommy’s room. It seems he’s trying to impress the new guy with the only metal album he owns. Suddenly, she’s nervous. That boy was so handsome she felt on fire when she’d seen him. And now he was in her house. Hanging out with her brother. It was almost too good to be true.

She takes a deep breath before making her descent down the hallway. Gina stops at Tommy’s room and peers inside. Carol’s laid out on the floor, checking her nails while the blonde and her brother sit on the edge of Tommy’s bed. The gorgeous boy has a cigarette perched in between his lips while he nods along with the baseline of the song. Tommy’s head banging obnoxiously. Her parents smoke in the house so that’s not an issue, they just don’t know that Tommy and Gina also smoke. She wonders what they’d think of this kid their age, smoking in their house.

The stranger notices her and pinches his cigarette between his fingers as he pulls it away. His lips curl up and he drawls, “Hi.”

Gina’s throat tightens as she matches his gaze. His voice is like honey. Thick and sweet as it sends excitement between her legs. She gives a shy wave as her brother and his girlfriend notice her. Carol beckons her inside and she steps inside.

“Oh! Billy, this is my sister, Gina,” Tommy introduces her.

“Hi, Gina,” he purrs and extends his cigarette out for her to take.

Gina accepts it, taking a drag and tries to ignore the burning feeling on her lips. Or the fact that if her parents saw her smoking, they’d kill her. The panic is quickly squashed by the handsome blondes icy eyes on her. He’s even prettier this close. He’s got a hint of a mustache, it’s mostly rough stubble but it’s clear he can grow facial hair and that rouses something in Gina.

“Hi, Billy,” she says and passes the cigarette back.

He presses two fingers to the paper bag she’s got clutched against her chest, “What’s this you got?”

“An album.”

“Which one?” he raises an eyebrow and it feels like a test. Gina hopes she passes.

She pulls the record out of the bag, displaying Ratt’s Out of the Cellar for him. Billy grins wide, standing up and taking the album from her hands.

“Atta girl,” he praises and fuck, the praise goes straight between her legs. “I love this album.”

Gina would give anything to impress him more. He slides his thumbnail against the sleeve, slicing the cellophane open with the motion and walks over to Tommy’s record player. Carol grabs onto Gina’s wrist and pulls her down, giving her these eyes and Gina doesn’t miss the intensity in Tommy’s eyes as he shakes his head at her. Billy plops back down on the bed, oblivious to the silent interaction the three of them had. He pulls a can of beer from the sixer and cracks it open before he hands it to Gina. She accepts it with a small thanks. He’s got a little dangly earring and it catches on his curls. Gina has to stop herself from leaning forward and fixing it. She’s eager to touch him.

Billy sings along with the first track, low but Gina still hears him. She loves the sound of his voice. It’s sexy. She’s so close to turning into a puddle on her brothers floor.

“Did you see Steve with the princess today? Gag me with a spoon!” Carol gossips as she gestures gagging herself.

“I know,” Tommy scoffs.

“What’s the deal with that guy?” Billy asks, eyes trained on Gina like he expects her to answer.

Tommy sighs, “He used to fucking run school. King Steve. Then, he stuck his dick in the priss and he changed. Man’s totally whipped.”

“He used to be our friend,” Carol offers.

“Everyone was telling me about him,” Billy replies, “Said I’m gunning to be the new King. Whatever the fuck that means.”

“He’s an asshole,” Carol rolls her eyes. “But you are, this town needed someone with an edge.”

Billy snorts, eyes darting between the two girls on the floor.

“Steve’s nice,” Gina says meekly, staring at her knees as she speaks. No matter what, she couldn’t really bare them talking bad about Steve. He was nice and well, she was still in love with him.

“Whatever,” Tommy huffs, “He’s different. He used to be cool.”

“So you like metal?” Billy changes the subject as he nudges the toe of his boot against Gina’s knee.

She beams up at him, “Yeah.”

“Me too,” he smirks, biting his lip.

“Cool,” Gina’s sure she’s actually the lamest person he’s ever talked to. His eyes are the prettiest color she’s ever seen. She gets lost in them while he turns his attention back to Tommy, asks him where he can find weed.

“Oh, the freak, Eddie Munson,” Tommy answers but he’s up on his feet and walks over to his dresser. The freckled boy retrieves a joint. Gina and Carol meet each other with equally annoyed expressions. They’d had plans for the joint.

Tommy extends it out to Billy, “But here, you can have this in the meantime.”

“Ha, alright! Thanks man, I really appreciate it,” he beams as he tucks the joint in his pack of Marlboros. “Think we’re best buds, now.”

Tommy beams at the prospect, sitting down with a shrug, “Ah, it’s no big deal. A welcome gift.”

“Oh,” Gina interrupts, looking at Billy, “My mom wanted me to ask if you wanted to stay for dinner.”

“Wish I could, darling but, I better get home before my old man does,” the blonde says with a slight wince.

Gina stands up so she’s out of his way, but he stands up and they’re a little closer than Gina intended, almost nose to nose. She takes a step to the side and tucks her brown hair behind her hair, awkwardly smiling up at him. He smirks, biting his lower lip as his eyes scan her face. His gaze is pretty intimidating, she wants to crawl out of her skin from it.

“It was nice to meet ya, Gina,” he purrs.

Gina has to hold in the squeal threatening to escape, “You too.”

Once the front door shuts, letting them know Billy’s left, Tommy points to his younger sister.

“Off limits,” he says seriously, “I like him, don’t fuck it up.”

Gina holds up her hands defensively, “I didn’t even do anything!”

“I saw how you looked at him,” he argues with a tilt of his head.

“Oh, stop,” she sighs, “I don’t have a crush on him.”

“Yeah, right. I have eyes, ya know? He’s a good looking guy,” Tommy quips.

“Ya going queer on me?” Carol teases, “You don’t want Gina to go after him ‘cause you want a chance first?”

Tommy shoots her this flabbergasted, borderline disgusted look, “Get over here and I’ll show you how untrue that is.”

“Ew, disgusting,” Gina snarls, “I’m leaving.”

She shuts the door behind and goes to her room, trying not to think of Billy while she gets started on her homework. It’s a moot point. His eyes, thighs and bouncy curls flood her mind while she does her algebra.

;;;

Billy’s nice. He keeps Gina company while Tommy and Carol suck face, just like Steve used to do.

“They always do this?” he asks.

Gina nods, “Yeah. You’ll get used to it.”

He’s funny, likes to people watch. Right now they’re doing it, sitting on the hood of his Camaro at lunch. They share a cigarette and Billy points at a group of boys talking about fifteen feet away. He does funny voices while he makes up what he thinks the boys are saying.

“You’re not sensitive enough, Toby,” he puts on this whiny, exaggerated voice as one of the boys talks excitedly, “That’s why you can’t get a girlfriend!”

Gina giggles, not confident enough to join in with him but Billy’s funny enough on his own.

“Shut up,” he does the other kids voice now, “I don’t get girls because I eat my boogers.”

Another eruption of giggles come from Gina, she shoves Billy’s shoulder and covers her face. He chuckles and snatches the smoke from her fingertips, bringing it to his lips.

“You know those kids?” he asks.

She nods, “I had them in all my classes in elementary school. You’re spot on. He really does eat his boogers.”

The older boy cackles, “Yeah, he looks like he does.”

They’re quiet for a beat, Billy seems to be scanning for more victims but Gina interrupts him, “Are you going to the party tonight?”

“Yeah, think so,” he finishes the smoke and flicks it away, “Does Tina throw bitchin’ parties?”

“I helped plan it,” Gina admits and then shrugs, “They’re usually pretty fun. All the parties around here kind of bleed together. There’s gonna be a keg though.”

“Yeah? You do keg stands?” he snickers, lips pulled up in the cutest smile she’d seen.

“I have not tried,” Gina admits with a giggle, “I struggle enough shotgunning.”

“I’ll teach ya,” he insists as the warning bell rings. He stands up and looks over to Gina, “So I’ll see you tonight, then.”

“Yeah, see you there.”

-

Gina huffs as she attempts to curl a stubborn chunk of her hair. She really needed to get another perm. Reaching for the mousse, she sprays a glob of it and scrunches her hair up with it until she’s satisfied. She stands up and assesses her “costume”, it’s just a short skirt, fishnets and a ripped up t-shirt. She’s not necessarily trying to get Billy’s attention but she doesn’t mind if she does.

Carol saunters into the doorway, donning a similar outfit, “And what are you supposed to be?”

Gina scrunches her hair up some more, “Hot.”

“Maybe for a particular blonde with a great ass?”

Turning to Carol, she rolls her eyes and grabs her jacket, “He’s off-limits, remember?”

“Fuck Tommy,” Carol snorts, “you deserve to have some fun and he looks like he knows how to have it.”

“He’s so out of my league, anyways,” Gina shrugs on her jacket and reaches for her purse.

Carol stops her, placing her hands on Gina’s shoulders and looking at her, “That’s so not true, Gina. You’re totally gorgeous.”

Her cheeks redden at the compliment, she can tell that Carol really means it. She smiles at her brothers girlfriend, “He kind of did like give me a look in Tommy’s room, didn’t he?”

“Totally. He was undressing you with his eyes, I say go for it,” Carol grins.

Tommy yells from the living room, “How long does it take to get ready?! I’m ready to get drunk!”

“He sounds like he already is,” Gina grumbles before following Carol out to Tommy’s car.

Tina’s house is absolutely packed. It’s a struggle for Tommy to find a spot to park on the lawn. He grumbles something about Gina taking forever and making them late.

Carol shoves his shoulder, “It’s important to be fashionably late, moron. We’ll look like losers if we’re on time. Gina’s doing us all a favor.”

Gina rolls her eyes, her stomach is a bit upset due to her brothers rather erratic driving. He was a little too tipsy already and she’s hoping Carol will drive them home. Once he parks, she climbs out of the car and stands beside Carol.

“The whole fucking school showed up,” Gina notes, eyes scanning the front yard.

Just then, Billy comes barreling toward them before jumping on Tommy’s back. Billy’s dressed like the terminator, black fingerless gloves, a leather jacket over his shirtless torso and really tight jeans. He’s pretty clearly tipsy and Gina wonders how long he’s been here. He jumps off Tommy, wrapping his arms around Carol and Gina’s shoulders and guides them towards the house with a slurred, “My favorite girls!”

Gina tries not to focus on how close his lips are to her ear, it was like he was whispering that just for her to hear. His deep voice makes her chest and stomach tighten.

“You ready to take the new Keg King title?” Tommy asks, urging the group over to the side of the house where the keg is set up.

“I was born ready,” Billy says smugly, hands on his hips as Tommy pumps the keg up.

Gina stands next to Tina and Carol to watch. She notes Tina’s Madonna costume and smiles, “I love your costume, Tina. You look so good.”

“Thanks, babe,” Tina smiles, raising her solo cup to the girls.

After a beat, Tina groans and tells the two other girls, “Billy is so fine.” She gestures fanning herself, “God, look at his abs.”

“Isn’t he, Gina?” Carol nudges the brunettes shoulder and winks.

“Oh, shit, did you call dibs?” Tina’s eyes widen and Gina has to roll her eyes.

“No, Carol just wants to live vicariously through me. I’m not into him,” Gina explains and she’s met with two pairs of confused eyes.

“What do you mean you’re not into him?” Tina asks, “Do you need glasses? He’s literally sex on legs.”

“Tommy told her he’s off-limits,” Carol snorts, “but I say fuck him.”

Gina shakes her head, watching as they lift Billy up and he downs the beer from the tap. She remembers watching Steve do it all those times before and her heart aches.

“I’m not interested,” she insists.

“Well— I’m not gonna hold back,” Tina smiles, biting her lip.

“Go for it,” Gina says and hopes she doesn’t sound as bitter as she feels, “I’m gonna get myself a drink.”

She leaves the group and wanders inside, saying hi to classmates on the way until she finds herself in the kitchen and fills herself a cup of whatever toxic concoction is filling the punch bowl. It’s red and when she brings it to her nose, it burns her nostrils. Perfect. Gina absolutely loved alcohol. Maybe a little too much. But she had a handle on it, didn’t blackout aside from parties like this. She liked the way it burned down her throat and spread a warm, numb feeling across her chest. And Gina was pretty shy overall, she was nervous to talk to people but when she drank, the nerves slipped away and she was the biggest social butterfly on the planet. That’s how most of these people got to know her, she didn’t really talk to them at school. She kept close to her few friends, Tommy and Carol.

As Gina finishes her drink and pours herself another, she sees Nancy heading her way, Steve only steps behind her. Gina’s chest aches and she quickly moves away from the punch, rounds the counter in attempts to hide from them. She’s successful and from where she’s at, she can just see their torsos, the bar cabinet covers their faces. Nancy downs three cups consecutively and as she’s getting the fourth, Steve’s hands grab to stop her. They struggle for a minute but it ends up with bright red, alcoholic juice splashed on Nancy’s white cashmere sweater. Gina winces, there’s no way the stains coming out. Then Nancy storms off and of course, Steve’s chasing after her.

Seeing the brunette again brings all kinds of confusing feelings back for Gina. Steve had avoided parties once he and Tommy had their big fight. She’d only see him at school, in study hall where they sat next to each other. But these days, Steve didn’t even spare her a smile, a glance— anything. It was like Gina didn’t exist to him anymore. And feelings aren’t fun. So Gina wanders back outside, finds her group of friends. She wants to get wasted and forget about Steve like he forgot about her.

“So you still wanna teach me how to properly shotgun?” she asks Billy, the alcohol coursing through her makes her a lot less tense.

The blonde smiles wickedly at her, digging in the cooler for two cans of beer and hands one to her. He pulls out a pocket knife from his jeans and presses the blade to the aluminum, “Right here. Steady so the fucker doesn’t blow in your face and…” he trails off as he punctures the can and peels it open a bit with the blade before he hands it to Gina.

She does as he says, but she’s not as steady as he is and when she punctures the can, beer sprays out of it and all over her chin and white top. She squeals, dropping the can and looking up at Billy with her jaw hanging open.

“See?! I suck,” she whines and wipes her chin.

He cackles, “Maybe someone shook that can up. Here. Take this one.”

He hands her the can he had prepped and retrieves another, repeats his fluid motions and then slips the knife back in his pocket. “‘Kay, you’re just gonna bring it to your lips and pull the tab. I just kind of open my throat up and guzzle. Ya ready?”

Gina nods nervously, shaky hands bringing the punctured hole to her lips and pops the tab at the same time Billy does. It’s super cold going down, Gina can’t drink it nearly as fast as Billy can, he’s dropping the empty aluminum to the floor in seconds and she furrows her eyebrows as she looks at him, guzzling her beer down. When she pulls it away, he’s raising his eyebrows and grinning from ear to ear, pretty pearly whites on display. Gina melts a bit. Wants Billy to look at her like that more.

“Atta girl,” he praises and it goes straight between her legs, “You did it.”

She clears her throat, dropping the can as she wipes the sudsy liquid off her chin, “Not as fast as you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m the new keg king after all,” he winks and she giggles.

“Can I have a cigarette?” she asks, bouncing on her feet. Billy nods, pulls his pack out and grabs a smoke, brings it to his lips and lights it before handing it to Gina. He immediately lights himself one and nods his head over to a couple of outdoor chaise lounge chairs strewn across Tina’s front yard. Gina follows him to them, she sits down on one and fully expects Billy to take the other but he lounges on the one she takes, right between her legs and rests his head on her chest.

“It’s not like the parties back home but I’m having fun,” he says, looking up at Gina.

She smiles, slightly uncomfortable at his weight on her body but she doesn’t dare say anything. He’s warm, like a heater against her chest. He reeks of booze but there’s a hint of his cologne still there. She wonders if he feels as sticky as she does, with the beer splattered over both their chests. It’s kind of gross but Gina didn’t want to freak out and seem uncool.

“Me too,” she says. “thanks for teaching me how to shotgun.”

“Ahh, I have a feeling you’ve done it before,” he insists and he’s not wrong. Steve had shown her countless times but Billy doesn’t need to know that.

“Nope, I’m just good at opening my throat,” she explains and then realizes the unintended innuendo, her eyes widening.

“Oh, you are, are you?” Billy teases, wiggling his eyebrows.

“That sounded so wrong. I didn’t mean it like that,” she shakes her head frantically, cheeks flushed. “I just meant, I can— oh forget it.”

Billy just hums, she can hear the smile in it. She’s successfully mortified herself. Maybe she should cool it on the booze for a while. Though, Billy puts her right at ease, tilting his head up so he can look at her. The drunken smile on his face is very, very cute. She feels warm all over, a little floaty and genuinely happy. Until her mind gets the best of her again. Gina tries not to feel insecure, but she wonders how she looks from his angle.

“What are the parties like in California?” she tries to change the subject.

Billy takes a puff of his cigarette and she watches the smoke rise up and disappear, “Wild. People jumping off balconies, there’s usually live music but it’s never good. Just some assholes who think they're the next Motley Crue ‘cause they wear spandex and got guitars for Christmas. I used to go to punk shows a lot.”

“Punk?” Gina repeats, “You don’t seem the type.”

“Ah, I love punk music. The shows are something else. You get wasted and spend hours getting your ass beat in the mosh pit. Nothing more freeing,” he explains and sighs. “I take it there’s none here.”

“They might have some at The Hideout,” Gina offers, “Bands play there a lot.”

“Any good ones?”

“Not any I know,” Gina admits, though she’s never actually been to The Hideout on account that it’s a bar.

She’s incredibly tempted to run her fingers through Billy’s sweaty blonde curls. She wants to know if they’re as soft as they look or if they’re crunchy with mousse like hers.

“Maybe I can take you to a punk show, if they have ‘em,” Billy muses, sitting up and turning to face Gina.

“Maybe,” Gina smiles warmly, butterflies filling her stomach and her toes tingle. “It sounds like fun.”

“Yeah? Think you’d be thrashing around, knocking people out in the pit?” Billy cackles to which Gina rolls her eyes.

“Do you miss California?”

“No shit. This place sucks,” Billy snorts, “Nothing to do and trust me, this party is real fucking tame.”

Gina feels guilty, but she’s not sure why. It’s not her fault he hates Hawkins. Billy seems to notice her quick change in demeanor because he nudges his shoulder against hers and says, “You’re pretty cool, though. Even if you won’t do a keg stand.”

“It’s a boy thing,” Gina insists while blushing and Billy makes a confused face.

“What? No, it’s not a boy thing. You’re just scared,” he shrugs, smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.

“Am not.”

“Are to.”

“I just don’t think I could do it for long,” Gina shrugs.

“Well, yeah, there’s no way you’re beating my record. And I could’ve gone longer too, but those assholes pulled me down when I beat King Steve’s record,” he brags with a smirk, nudging Gina with his knee.

She tries not to falter at the mention of Steve. Even through his fall of grace, everyone still talks about him all the time. Even this new guy. It’s a little annoying. She wishes Steve would just disappear sometimes.

“Oh, I’m so sure,” she rolls her eyes, tossing her smoke when it’s down to the filter. Billy follows suit.

He slaps his thighs before standing, “Well, I need a beer. Ya coming?”

Gina nods, finds herself following him back to the hoard of teens surrounding the cooler. Carol’s there, getting a beer and when she sees Gina and Billy walking up together, she wiggles her eyebrows at the younger girl. Gina quickly looks around for Tommy and luckily, he’s nowhere to be found.

“Where’d you two run off to?” Carol inquires as she opens the beer, watching Billy retrieve two cans and handing one to Gina.

“For a smoke,” Billy explains, just as Tina bounces up and snakes her arm around his waist. She whispers something in his ear and he frowns, like he’s contemplating before he nods and saunters inside the house behind Tina.

Carol watches them with a disgusted look on her face before she says to Gina in a mocking tone, “Billy! Let me show you my room so I can suck you off.”

Gina shakes her head but smiles, her heart aches a bit but she gets distracted. A familiar face with floppy hair walks passed and he looks angry. Gina eyes follow him to his BMW, where he slams the door and peels out.

“Steve seems upset,” she mumbles softly, wanting nothing more than to be there to comfort him.

Carol snorts, “The princess left with fucking Byers. I’m sure he’s pissed.”

“Really? Oh, god. Poor Steve… I thought there wasn’t anything between Nancy and Jonathon,” Gina replies, eyes finding Carol again.

“Yeah, sure. Asshole is getting what he deserved. And with Nancy and Byers, I think there is,” Carol shrugs, “Come on, let’s go dance!”

The redhead grabs onto Gina’s hand and pulls her inside. They dance for a bit and it’s nice. Gina forgets about Billy and Steve for the time being. She downs a few more drinks, her inhibitions fly through the window and she becomes like a totally different person. Gina floats among groups, talking everyone’s ear that she can get ahold of off. It’s fun. She has so much fun at parties, except she never remembers the conversations she’s had.

She’s talking to someone from her English class, a boy who’s interested in her but right now, she can’t remember his name and she’s already asked him four times. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Billy walking towards her. He’s hard to miss, leather jacket without a shirt and his blonde mullet is tousled, a few curls sticking up and laying the way they’re not supposed to. He places his hands on Gina’s hips and whispers in her ear, “Smoke?”

Gina nods graciously at the idea. A cigarette sounds really good right now.

Billy looks to the gentleman she’s been talking to and grins, “Sorry. I’ve got to steal Miss Gina away. Hope you don’t mind, big boy.”

He pats the guys shoulder before he’s dragging her out the back door. Tommy and Carol are outside which is a bummer, especially when Billy abruptly pulls his hands away from Gina’s waist and tackles Tommy to the floor. They wrestle in the grass as the two girls watch them curiously.

Carol nudges her side, “Hargrove was getting real handsy with you just then.”

Gina sighs, “I’m pretty sure he and Tina just had sex. And it doesn’t matter! I don’t like him. He is very pretty, and funny, and really really nice but I don’t like him. I’m not allowed.”

Carol giggles, “You’re drunk.”

“Am not,” Gina slurs, taking a misstep and stumbling down to her knees. “Ow!” she whines, but lays on the grass, staring up at the sky.

Billy and Tommy lay on either side of her, giggling like they can’t control themselves. And since Gina’s also in a drunken stupor, she starts giggling too. Carol peers down at the three of them, an amused smile on her face.

“Tommy, come here,” she says, “I have something important to show you.”

The freckled boy shoots up quickly, following his girlfriend back inside the house. Carol did it on purpose, Gina’s sure. She wants her to spend alone time with Billy.

“Smoke,” Billy says, hands reaching into his pocket to retrieve his pack. He lights it for her before passing it, head turned to face Gina. He looks as drunk as she feels. Perhaps it’s not a great idea to lay here next to him in such a state. Inhibitions are low and Gina’s scared she’ll slip up and say something she shouldn’t. Or even worse, touch him.

“Thank you,” she sighs happily.

There’s a group of kids in the backyard with them but it feels like they’re alone. The kids are wrapped up in a conversation, it seems intense, whatever it is. If Gina wasn’t so drunk and focused on the muscular body lying next to her, she would try to listen in.

“You having fun?” he asks softly.

“Loads. I’m getting pretty sleepy, though,” she admits, turning on her side to look at Billy. He does the same, eyes scanning her face.

“We could crash right here. Sleep on the grass,” Billy mumbles, a smile twitching at his lips.

Gina giggles, “That wouldn’t be very comfy.”

He purses his lips, “I’m pretty comfortable.”

“We’d freeze,” she points out, bringing the cigarette to her lips and tilts her head to blow the smoke up.

“That’s probably true,” he admits and chuckles, “Maybe Tina has a blanket we could use.”

“I’m sure she’d just let you sleep in her bed,” Gina says, raising an eyebrow.

Billy makes a face, frowning and furrowing his eyebrows, “You sound jealous.”

“I’m not,” Gina reflects, shaking her head.

“Hmm,” Billy hums and cracks a smile, “I’m just messing with you.”

Gina shoves his shoulder and sits up, “They better hurry.”

Billy sits up beside her and snatches the cigarette, “I can take you home, if you want.”

“No, they’ll get upset if I just left and didn’t tell them,” Gina insists. “Thanks, though.”

“Is Tommy like super protective of you?” Billy asks.

Gina sighs and shrugs, “Sometimes? I try not to let him know my business. I think it just depends on if he’s bored or not. He beat up the first boyfriend I had in grade school.”

“What? Why?” Billy laughs.

“‘Cause he kissed another girl at recess and I cried,” Gina explains with a giggle.

“I’d do the same,” Billy muses.

“As my first boyfriend or as Tommy?”

“Tommy. My step sisters an annoying brat but I’d still punch any guy that hurt her,” he explains, stubbing his cigarette out.

“How long as she’s been your step sister?” Gina wonders.

Billy tilts his head, doing the math in his head, “Like four years? My dad started seeing Susan when I was 13, they got married kind of soon after.”

Gina wonders about his mom but she doesn’t want to prod too deep. She figures if he wants to tell her, he’ll do that.

“Huh,” Gina nods, “Well that’s sweet of you. A lot of brothers don’t care. Tommy and I have always been pretty close, though.”

“Yeah, I saw the photos in your hallway,” Billy says, “That’s cool. It’d be cool to have like real siblings.”

“Oh, god, those are so embarrassing,” Gina covers her face with her hands. She turns and looks at him, finding his comment about siblings a little odd. But she doesn’t know what it’s like to have step siblings. “So it was just you before your dad met her mom?”

“Yeah, just me and dad for a couple years,” he says but he sounds far away, like he’s in his head. He stands up and flicks his cigarette. Just then, Tommy and Carol come back outside.

“I think it’s about time we head out,” Carol says, “Billy, you okay to drive?”

Billy grins wide, “Peachy.” It’s a stark contrast to the stoic look he got on his face when talking about his family. Gina wants to know more because he seemed like something from his past hurt him. She can’t help but be curious, wants to know everything about him suddenly. It was like this mask fell and he was vulnerable for a second. Gina didn’t see that from men she knew. She hadn’t talked about feelings with one before but now she wants to know exactly what Billy's feeling and thinking. All of his secrets and memories.

Carol doesn’t look like she believes him so they compromise. The three of them follow Billy to Cherry Lane to make sure he gets home safe, Carol keeps repeating how impressed she is with his intoxicated driving during the ride. Cherry Lane is quite a distance away from Loch Nora and truly out of the way from where the Hagan’s live but the three of them want to make sure Billy’s gets home safe.

Billy pulls up this his house, parks the Camaro and struts over to the passenger window of Tommy’s car, where Tommy is hanging outside of.

“Safe and sound,” he says and pats the roof of the car. “See you at school, amigo,” he pinches the brunette boys nose, making him jolt back in his seat and swat at Billy’s hand.

“Asshole,” Tommy mumbles behind a laugh, rubbing his nose.

Billy leans down and looks at Carol and then at Gina in the backseat, “Bye, ladies.”

“Bye, Billy,” they chime at the same time before watching him walk up to the front door, unlocking it before sneaking inside.

Carol pulls off down the street, turning around back towards the Hagan house.

Gina gushes, “Billy’s so cool.”

“Yeah,” Tommy beams from the front seat, “He’s fucking badass.”

“And he’s so cute,” Gina slurs dreamily and sighs.

“No,” Tommy scolds, “I said no.”

Gina pouts the whole way home.

;;;

This hangover is one for the books. Gina managed to sleep a whopping four hours. Yet, she somehow managed to shower in the morning and get ready. She wore her most comfortable pair of jeans and her forest green Hawkins High sweatshirt. Her hair was a bit unruly but she already had a major headache, so a ponytail wasn’t a smart option.

When she makes it into the kitchen, she pours a glass of orange juice and sips it slowly. Her brother and Carol are eating a quick breakfast. Their parents have already left to take Bridgette to school. Which is good. Seeing her parents after a night of partying was the last thing she wanted.

Tommy still reeked of alcohol on the ride to school. And Carol drove, insisting that Tommy was still drunk.

Crazy enough, Billy looks good as new. Tight Levi’s and a white long-sleeve button up with his denim jacket. Gina tries not to drool. He leans against his Camaro, smoking a cigarette that he offers to Gina when they walk up.

She shakes her head, “I think I’ll barf if I have some.”

“Aw,” Billy pouts and asks in a teasing tone, “Hangover?”

“You're not?” she asks, bewildered and he shrugs.

“I don’t get hangovers,” he insists, taking another drag from his smoke as he looks over to her brother, probably taking note of his disheveled hair.

“I’m still drunk,” Tommy declares with a pleased smile to which Billy cackles.

“Just wait a few hours,” Carol snorts, “You’ll be hungover before ya know it, babe.”

Tommy frowns, reaches in his pocket and shows them the two whiskey shooters he has, “Nah, I’m gonna ride this until I have the sweet pleasure of my bed.”

Carol snatches the keys from Tommy’s other pocket, “In that case.”

Tommy doesn’t argue, he just shrugs and then snatches the cigarette from Billy. The blonde makes a face when Tommy gets close.

“You smell like a goddamn distillery, Hagan,” he quips and recoils back, pinching his nose.

Gina agrees, the whole drive to school was almost unbearable. Her stomach twisted and she had to focus on her breathing so she didn’t vomit from the smell of him.

“So, you hook up with Tina?” Tommy asks, wiggling his eyebrows and obviously trying to change the subject.

Billy smirks, shaking his head and says, “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“So you didn’t see her third nipple?” Tommy asks, frowning.

Billy’s face scrunches up, “She doesn’t have a third nipple.”

The freckled boy cackles, “Ha! So you did fuck her!”

Gina rubs her eyes, trying to mask the very intense jealousy she’s feeling. Carol’s laughing at Tommy’s trick but Gina can’t bring herself to. She’s just imagining Billy and Tina in bed and it’s making her even more sick to her stomach. She doesn’t want to feel jealous, knows she doesn’t really have a right to but she can’t help it.

“Shut up,” Billy rolls his eyes but he’s blushing, just barely. It’s kind of alarming to see.

“She’ll tell everyone,” Gina finally speaks up, “So like, no point in hiding it.”

She cringes a bit, the disdain is a little too apparent in her voice and her ears go hot at hearing herself. But she’s not wrong. Tina’s probably told the entire senior class already. And Hawkins is small, by the end of the day, even the middle school kids will know.

“I’m not hiding it,” Billy scoffs, “I just think it’s lame to brag about getting laid.”

“Hm,” Gina purses her lips, “I’m gonna head to class.”

She hurries towards the building, hoping none of them follow her because her heads pounding and she’s fuming with jealousy. She just wants to get the school day over with and crawl back into bed. The first four periods drag on. Particularly fourth period, which is the study hall she shares with Steve. They literally sit next to each other. If Gina leans over just enough, she can smell his shampoo. It smells like honey. She remembers shoving her face in it when they used to cuddle. Gina loved the smell of his hair and his skin.

However, that was long ago and she’s reminded of how much their relationship has changed during class. When she looks to Steve and their eyes meet, he quickly averts them and busies himself with his homework. It makes Gina’s heart ache. She wonders if he would just look her in the eye if things would change. She’d give anything to go back to how things were before Nancy Wheeler. Nothing made her feel the way she did when she was alone with Steve. He had this way of making her feel like she was the most special person. And the problem with that was how addictive it was. Gina was obsessed with Steve after the first time he kissed her and that never went away. She didn’t go a single day without thinking about him. So it stings when he acts like it’s painful to look at her.

She’s managed to go a whole two months of this treatment though. Today shouldn’t be any different. It’s probably because of the dumb jealousy she’s been harboring over Tina and Billy. A reminder of how Steve chose another woman. And well, Billy didn’t exactly choose Tina over her but she still didn’t like the thought of Billy with another woman. All throughout the day, she reminds herself how she really needs to suffocate her attraction to Billy. Nip it in the bud before she gets lovesick for two men who don’t want her.

It’s difficult when lunch comes around. Billy’s a full fledged member of their group now. Gina stands across from him, trying not to feel the effects of her hangover while they socialize. Tommy’s rambling about something or another, Gina can’t focus and he’s clearly drank both his shots of whiskey. All his words are slurred. She thinks he mentions something about ditching his last two classes to sleep in his car.

“You’re lucky you don’t have practice today,” Carol points out.

Tommy waves her off, “I could still play better than Harrington, blackout or sober.”

“Coach wants me to join,” Billy mumbles around his cigarette.

“Fucking do it!” Tommy cheers, jumping in place.

Billy cackles, looking at the freckled boy with amusement. Everyone agrees with Tommy and they all look at Billy expectantly.

“Baseball’s my thing but basketball is fun. I’m thinking about it,” he explains with a shrug.

Gina kicks the toe of her Ked against his motorcycle boot and their eyes meet, “You should.”

“Okay,” he smiles, “I’ll talk to coach.”

The moment between them is quickly interrupted by Tina swaying between the group of kids and sandwiching herself between Billy and Tommy. She leans her side on Billy and whispers something in his ear. The blondes eyebrows raise and he snorts, shaking his head. Gina turns her attention away, not being able to stomach the sight of them.

[axelsagewrites]

Modern Jace Headcannons

Masterlist Here

Jace was raised right and anyone who meets him can tell

The boy is just a ball of pure love to anyone who meets him but he’s also incredibly shy

Unlike other shy kids even when he’s with his friends or family he’s just quiet

He hates yelling, hates fighting, hates confrontation

Until someone says shit about Luke or someone else he loves

Rhaynera will never forget the day Jace came home with a black eye only to find out the other guy dislocated his shoulder and Luke could finally walk his high school without fear

Jace is a gentle guy but he will fuck a bitch up

He’s easily the strongest out of all his family

Aegon once tried to challenge him to an arm wrestle and his wrist still hurts from losing so badly while Jace didn’t even blink

His love language is gift giving

Sees a shinny rock on his way home from school? Let’s add this to his mums garden. Finds a cool new game on steam. Sends a code to Luke. Finds anything bug related anywhere ever. Instantly buys it for his auntie

He’s popular in school but has never had a girlfriend

The boy is clueless

Or maybe gay his family cannot tell

Someone could have their tongue down his throat and a wedding ring in their hand and he’d think they were just friendly

The type to get a job in high school for the experience despite being loaded

However also the type to just not show up to work because he slept in

He doesn’t care

But he’s also the first to cover your shift

He’s best friends with Luke but refuses to admit it

He doesn’t fully understand his gaming hobby but he gets a computer to join in anyway

Aegon and Luke are constantly carrying his ass in games but he’s just there for the vibe

And he provides snacks

Jace is a bottomless pit. The boy can eat

He eats everything. Sushi? Check. Chinese? Check. Italian? Check. Kebab? Check. Mexican? Check.

And he’d eat all that in one day and still be hungry

He cannot cook or bake to save his life though. Its scary. He burned water once and everyone was shocked and impressed

He plays sports at school but its just a hobby for him

Plus, he used to play with his dad Harwin before he died

His first stepdad tried to join in but to no success. His new stepdad Daemon goes to his games hungover but won’t play ball with him

He tries to convince Luke to play with him but no dice

Thankfully Joffrey finally was able to kick a ball and Jace taught him football straight away

Despite Jace legit sounding perfect he is an incredible insecure boy

He constantly feels not good enough and like he has to do more despite his mother’s reassurance

But he’s always felt the need to compete with his uncles his whole life so for him it’s still a struggle

But his mum had them all in therapy from a young age so he’s well-adjusted but craves reassurance

[thornpixie]

Rewatching xo Kitty knowing the outcome, and I'm more convinced than ever that Dae deserved far better

Be warned, it’s a long one

That boy went through so fucking much. He TRIED to tell Kitty what was going on. He really tried.

He only got involved in the fake relationship thing with Yuri because he was at risk of being kicked out of school. His girlfriend lived on the other side of the world, as far as he knew, and the relationship with Yuri wasn't real. He is a teenage boy; he probably thought no one would get hurt. Yes, he was wrong to presume that. This isn’t a ‘Dae is perfect’ post. He isn’t. That’s what makes him so likeable to me. But he said himself - he only agreed it with Yuri four hours before he saw Kitty at the welcome party. He was completely blindsided by her, and STILL one of the first things he said to her was 'I need to tell you something'. HE TRIED TO TELL HER! But Yuri cut in. He cared about Kitty, but this was his future, and I completely understand why he went along with it. Given the chance to explain - which Yuri promised him he could do the following day - he knew Kitty enough to know she would understand. But he couldn't risk his future. One night wasn't worth getting kicked out of school for. Kitty completely blindsided him showing up out of the blue, and he was put on the spot. But this was his life. His education. His entire future.

It sucks that Kitty got hurt, but she was the one who flew across the world without telling him. Dae had to do what was best for him and his family, which was accepting Yuri's financial aid. Even after that, he tried to explain to her again. She refused to talk to him. And I get it, I really do. Again, these characters are teenagers and acting emotionally. Kitty was understandably furious and hurt. But Dae did not get the opportunity to explain then either. He tried again the next day, but there were bigger, far more powerful people involved, pulling the strings and manipulating him. This isn’t a grown man who should know better. This is a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY! He is going through a lot. His mom has recently died. His family is brassic. His sister is being bullied, made worse by the fact her shoes are falling apart so everyone knows the family is poor, and you could see how upset Dae was that he couldn't help by getting her new shoes. He is at risk of getting kicked out of school because he can't afford the tuition. It seems obvious to me that his father is not coping well, and Dae is forced to step up and be there for his sister. At the same time, he is trying to be there for Kitty who, yes, has lost her mom, but she has no idea of the other struggles Dae faces. Should he have respected her enough to confide in her about his family situation? Probably. But I understand him making bad decisions as a teenager.

So someone comes along and offers to make all that stress go away. They're going to pay some of his school fees! And all he has to do is pretend to be in a relationship with them. Who wouldn't accept that offer? Then he is told to sign an NDA. Again, he is sixteen. He hasn't got a lawyer who can explain the implications to him. All he knows is he is getting a job and a salary and security for his family out of this deal where he just has to pretend to date a girl. The reality of it doesn't hit him until Yuri reminds him that he cannot tell Kitty about anything because now he has signed an NDA and will be sued. Everything he has been offered, all the great things for his family, are at risk of disappearing if he tells Kitty the truth. And at first he's going to do it anyway. He loves this girl, he trusts her, and he would do it to be with her... until Kitty herself proves she can't be trusted. She spilled the secret about Min Ho. At that point, he does the right thing for everyone involved. He literally cannot be with Kitty and tell her the truth without potentially getting himself SUED. He might love her, but they are teenagers. No high school romance is worth that risk, I don't care what anyone says. So he ends the relationship rather than string her along. And you can see it kills him to do it (big up Minyeong Choi's acting), but it is best for everyone involved. And tbf, he has little choice. His dad could lose his job too, and that is not worth it. It's just not. He doesn't have the luxury of acting out against his parents, like Yuri, and knowing she'll still never have to worry about a thing. He doesn't have the luxury of being able to do whatever the hell he wants, like Min Ho. He has a loving and supportive family unit in his father and sister, but everything they have is at risk. And he can fix it. He can make their lives easier by breaking his own heart. It is a selfless thing that he does.

I don't blame Kitty for her reactions. Again, she is a teenager, and she has an amazing family, a supportive step mom, financial security... ultimately, Kitty is a little spoiled by that. It's understandable. But she creates a lot of problems for herself with her lack of life experience. She needs to grow up a little bit, realise she doesn't know and understand everything, and give people a chance.

Min Ho was never really Dae's friend. He is a spoiled brat. He missed hanging out with him so he decides to throw his toys out the pram and be a jerk, just to have Dae back? That’s not teenager behaviour, that’s toddler behaviour. Okay, is he sweet to Kitty at times? Undoubtedly. I think he genuinely does grow to care about her. It doesn't make him any less of an asshole though. He could see how much his supposed 'best friend' was hurting, and he actively stirred the pot between him and Kitty, for his own agenda. Calling Yuri to tell her about the outdoors club. Insisting that Kitty was flirting with him. Pushing the 'Portland stalker' narrative. Telling Professor Lee about the dorm situation. Trying to make her get mad at Dae again when the truth came out and they got back together. GOING BEHIND HIS 'BEST FRIENDS' BACK AND TELLING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE THAT HE WAS ALSO IN LOVE WITH HER AND BEING HAPPY SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM. He is an awful friend to Dae. And I'm not saying Dae is perfect, and there are definitely things he could have done better. But Min Ho is a spoiled, pretentious asshole who really doesn't care about anyone but himself and I hope Kitty doesn't develop feelings for him in return. He is used to getting everything he ever wanted, with no consequences (none that he cared about, anyway) and it’s boring. Kitty has shown zero romantic interest in him. Long may that continue.

Ultimately, Q is the only true friend that Dae has. I hope they will maintain that in season 2 by having him come clean about Florian. Otherwise, everything Dae has gone through for his family will be for nothing because he loses his room and board scholarship. I think Q has a strong sense of right and wrong, and a good moral compass, so regardless of his feelings for Florian, he will do the right thing. At least, I truly hope so.

Kitty and Dae need some time apart. They met when they were like twelve? And have been online dating ever since. They’ve never looked at anyone but each other romantically, and their entire being has been tied to this person who they couldn’t physically be with. That takes a toll. They need time apart to figure themselves out. Kitty, to explore her sexuality, and Dae to just get his life back on track. I truly believe that, in time, they could grow back together. I don’t think they can survive without each other. They’re too interwoven.

Anyway, a parting thought - JUSTICE. FOR. DAE.

[annalu86]

Chenford + talk about their feelings

Jealous

(Sorry it’s taken so long Anon, I hope it’s ok!)

“The look on that guys face! It’s like no one had ever turned him down before and that definitely can’t be the case” full of noise and energy Lucy Chen, Angela Lopez and Nyla Harper burst through the doors at Mid Wiltshire station. The three women are all dressed casually but with care and the energy radiating off them was electric. All eyes are instantly drawn to them as they make their way to Angela’s desk and crowd around her computer screen.

“He certainly took a shine to you” Nyla Harper said whilst looking Lucy up and down, eyebrows raised.

“For all the good it did him” Angela laughed heartily.

A blush rose on Lucy’s cheek, both at the idea the man found her most attractive and the roundabout praise she had received from Angela “if he had just kept his hands to himself” she grinned “he wouldn’t have wound up with a face full of dirt”

At first Lucy didn’t register the change in countenance of her friends “and then if he hadn’t tried to touch my leg, whilst on the floor, he wouldn’t have ended up in cuffs…” Lucy had slowed right down by the end of the sentence, finally catching on the the change in her colleagues. Nyla was looking steadfastly at some dirt on the end of her shoe and Angela was suddenly very interested in the cuffs of her sleeves.

It could mean only one thing.

“Hey Tim” Lucy span slowly, her eyes coming level with his broad, solid chest. She slowly raised her eyes to meet his.

“Been having fun?” He barely smiled but his tone couldn’t hide the playful look in his eyes

“They let me come out with them” her voice rising as she jiggled on the balls of her feet “detective practice!”

Tim’s eyes shifted from Lucy’s joyful face, over her head and waited out his best friend until she finally deemed her cuffs ok and made eye contact with him

“We ran everything by Grey” Angela said hurriedly, ready to pass the buck. Tim just grumbled in response.

“Angela and I were just going to grab some food, you hungry?” Lucy swiftly changed the subject and Tim’s face returned to hers

“Give me 10 minutes to talk to Grey” Lucy’s mouth opened to interrupt “not about you” he pacified her before she had a chance to complain “and I’ll meet you at the food trucks”

“Perfect” Lucy grinned broadly and the group went their separate ways.

The lunch rush had died down by the time Angela and Lucy had taken their seats, Lucy had taken an educated guess and ordered for both herself and Tim. He was quite particular about what he ate but Lucy considered herself an expert in the particulars of Tim.

Angela ate in earnest as they chatted, whilst Lucy picked at her food more slowly.

“I’ll get out of your hair so you and Tim can talk about earlier” Angela grimaced slightly

“What do you mean?” Lucy was perplexed, Angela looked surprised “oh you mean with that guy earlier?”

“Yeah, I doubt he’s thrilled”

“He’ll be fine!” Lucy laughed but Angela remained unconvinced. Lucy leaned back in her chair, took a sip of her drink and carried on “honestly, it really won’t have bothered him as much as you think”

“Tim. Tim Bradford?” Angela leant forward, elbows on the table, food momentarily forgotten “not jealous, of some guy putting his hands on *his* girlfriend”

“It’s work!” Lucy’s expression remained light but her tone was insistent “it’s not like it’s never happened before, I rode with him for ages, you cannot imagine the amount of times I saw him get hit on!”

Angela smiled but pressed on “but your his girlfriend now”

“I would agree with you if we were in a club”

“Can we just take a second to imagine Tim in a club” Angela interrupted. Her faced creased into laughter, Lucy’s eyes glazed over and a smile crept over her lips “ok, stop imagining him at a club. You’re grossing me out” Angela’s laughter increasing.

“If we were in a club he’d probably get a little jealous” Angela snorted “but on the job, well, you sort of expect criminals to do kind of creepy things sometimes. He understands that”

“You can understand something, without liking it”

“Look, ask him yourself!” Lucy pointed over Angela’s shoulder.

Tim joined them both at the table, quickly kissing the top of Lucy’s head as he took a seat, Lucy slid his food in front of him

“Thanks” he said with a smile, lifting a fork towards his mouth he stopped when he glanced between the two women who were watching him keenly “what?” He said with a heavy sigh, setting his fork down.

“We were wondering” Angela ignored Tim crossing his arms, pointedly, across his broad chest “what did you think of Lucy’s take down early?”

“When you were undercover? The guy?” His eyebrow quirked

“That’s the one” Angela confirmed

“I wasn’t there, haven’t read the report” his tone serious “I’m sure it was great though” he offered a smile to Lucy who smiled back, a little apologetically.

“And the guy hitting on Lucy?” Angela moved to the straight forward approach

“An annoyingly common part of the job, we’ve all been there” he said matter of fact-edly

“You’re a very handsome boy” Lucy teased him gently, earning herself a gagging noise from Angela

“It really doesn’t bother you?” Angela seemed genuinely surprised

“I’m not surprised when criminals do something creepy” he said simply.

Lucy turned to Angela beaming “see!” She crowed

“You’ve changed Bradford” Angela said with a smile “right, I’m going to leave you two live birds to finish your lunch. I’ll see you both later” and with that she stood up and walked back to the station to finish the rest of her shift.

Silence reigned for a few minutes, both focused on eating. Or so Tim thought, after a few minutes he noticed that Lucy was mostly just pushing the food around with her fork.

“Do you want me to be jealous?” Tim asked, putting his fork down.

“What? No!” Lucy jumped “that’s stupid”

“Lucy?”

“You would have been jealous before, with other girlfriends though?” She wasn’t quite ready to meet his eyes

“Isabel? Definitely, Rachel? Ashely? Maybe”

“Oh” Lucy said quietly

“Lucy you know this is different, right?” Tim’s large hands reached across the small gap and took hers, rubbing his thumb back and forth across her knuckles

“Yeah Isabel was your wife, of course you’d be jealous”

“Isobel cheated on me, god knows many times, wasted our money on drugs and left me” despite the words he began to smile “Rachel and I were barely even really together, we certainly didn’t *know* each other and Ashley, well” he smiled as he moved a hand from hers and cupped her cheek instead “she was nothing much more than a distraction” at that her eyes snapped up to meet his, a smile starting the break across her features.

“What did you need distracting from” the smile fully erupting fully as she asked him smugly “what we’re you thinking about?”

He resolutely ignored her as he continued “I’ve nothing to be jealous of, I trust you totally. You can look after yourself and I know you”

He leaned across in his chair and kissed her gently on the lips, he let out a deep breath as he lent his forehead against hers.

“So” she whispered against his mouth as she moved in for another kiss “does this mean I’m not allowed to get jealous?”

She laughed as he slid his hand round the back of her head and into her hair, enjoying the fact it wasn’t in its usual tight work bun, he tutted as he pulled her in and kissed her deeply

“No. No jealousy”

[sachiko1309]

Kidnapping - Part 2

Summary: Lilith, Hotchs girlfriend gets kidnapped because of Aarons history as an FBI agent

Word count: 3053

Warnings: kidnapping, torture, violence, nothing described too drastic

Where to begin:

Pov Lilith:

The pain shooting through my left cheek was immense. A hot stinging sensation from the hit rushing through my face and down my spine. Then suddenly his demeanor changed. He switched to softly stroking my cheek, then my neck, my shoulders and up my neck again. “Such a beautiful skin. A real shame to destroy it…” Looking to his buddy, he changed his voice. “Leave us alone. I wanna have some play time, with my little doll here.” The Alexander Ludwig copy, just scoffed, leaving us with a shake of his head.

As soon as we were alone, Oldman was again starting to touch me. I tried to flee his touches, but he would simply force me against my restraints, playing with my helplessness, taunting me: “Look at that. Not so fierce anymore. Has the situation finally caught up to your stupid brain?”

“I am not stupid.” I hissed, freezing, when he bowed down to speak right next to my ear: “Sure about that? I mean a young 23-year-old girl ending up with a man that is nearly twice her age. Its either stupidity or money. Clearly with him being a Fed, he has a good income but that’s far from being at a sugar daddy level. So, it must be your stupidity to think he would really settle for a girl like you.”

“He loves me.” I gritted out, trying my best to hide how much his words affected me.

“Oh honey. He loves the idea of you. The fact you admire him with every part of your being. I mean what else do you have to offer that he needs? He has a son, a job, was married. Ohhh yeah poor Haley… she was a wonderful mom, a shame she is dead.” He stopped for a moment, before he spoke again. His tone now even more mocking: “Do you really think a man will move on that fast after his wife divorced him and died? He has a son with her. A son he is now expecting you to raise. Its all a perfect plan he has. Like he always does… A young beautiful toy playing house with him, to stupid to see the real Hotchner. The cold, calculating Agent he is.”

“He loves me!” I repeated, now louder, as if I had to make myself believe my words. “You have no idea what he is. He is caring, loving and devoted to me and Jack. If he ever was cold towards you, then I am sure you deserved it!”

“Yes, make yourself believe that. That will only make the reality hit harder. And when it will, you will wish I killed you.” Oldman gritted out between clenched teeth. “You know, it happened to me. I got my reality ripped out underneath me the moment I realized my brother was a killer. Do you know how that felt? Your own brother a fucking killer. That’s something that only happens to other people and not yourself. But in that moment, I realized how much I am other people. We all are. Replaceable. Just with the snap of a finger.”

“I am not afraid of you. If that’s what you want from me.” I retorted, watching him step around me. He tilted his head, eyeing me with interest. “Clearly you are not. You already love a killer. Something we have in common. Both bound to a killer by this stupid thing called love.”

“Aaron is not a killer!” I yelled, fighting against the restraints. But they wouldn’t budge. Oldman just turned around, walking through the room until he leaned against the wall behind the camera. “He is not? Then how would you call it? He killed people before. That clearly makes him a killer. What is the difference between him and my brother? Aaron Hotchner is as cold blooded as one can get. He deals with sick people all day and you really believe there is nothing that stays behind?”

“Just because he understands your kind, does not make him one of you!” I whispered, the weight of the situation slowly creeping in.

“I thought so too. But look where we are. Say it’s the genetics or the upbringing, the family situation, what ever it is, it made me and my brother into this. And your boyfriend is not that far off.” Oldman scoffed, switching his position slightly, now looking like he was badly impersonating a teenager boy band crush. “Aaron’s dad used to beat him up every day. Mine did the same. Aaron studies monster for a living, I did the same with my brother. But I didn’t understand why he did what I did, until I tried it myself. I spent years reading through every news article, police report and notes I found from my brother, trying my best to make sense of it all. But it didn’t click until I tried it myself.”

He slowly started to creep closer to me. “Do you wanna know what my brother did, or shall I keep it a surprise?” His question made my eyes go wide. Fearing the worse, I could feel my mouth run dry. This seemed to satisfice him. A dangerous smirk creeping onto his features. “Well finally. True fear in your eyes.” He whispered, kneeling in front of me. “That’s always the best part. Seeing the realization of your victims dawn over their head. The moment of pure dread and horror. The last bit of hope losing the fight. I wonder how long it would take for you to give up. To accept your fate.”

“Fuck you!” I breathed out, my voice shaky and thin. “I wont give up. Aaron will save me.”

The cackling sound of his laughter suddenly ringing through the room made me flinch backwards, only stopped by the chair. Getting up from his knees, he pulled the shirt above his head, shaking his chin long dark curls. “You like music? I do. Especially Beethoven. He has this calming but simultaneously overwhelming greatness to his music. Makes me feel much more powerful.” Suddenly silent classical music filled the room, giving it another bone chilling atmosphere. “You know, my brother was a fan of knives. Had a big collection that fucker.” A rattling noise made me snap my head around. Oldman had rolled out a blanket with several different types of knifes in it.

He turned around, holding up the edges of the blanket, for me to take a better look. “Which one do you prefer?”

Pov Aaron:

It had been hours, at least that’s what it felt like, since we started our search for Lilith. Reid had narrowed it down to 7 different locations that would be reachable within the time it took them to kidnap Lilith. But Garcias and my search for the unsub stretched out. Even with Reid now being able to skim through the files much faster, it was an endless task. And the more time that ticked down the drain, the more worried I became.

Until it got to the point, where I threw the file, I was currently reading, against the wall. The team looked up in shock, watching me race through the room and punching the wall. “Aaron.” Rossi spoke up, but I just whipped around: “No! I cant stay calm any longer! This is not going to happen twice. First Haley and now Lilith? I am not doing this again!”

Rossi got up from his seat, slowly walking towards me. “And you wont. We will find him.” And as on cue, Garcia and Morgan rushed into the room. Garcia nearly tripping over her heels. “I know who he is.” She connected her laptop to the TV in the room, typing on her keyboard. “His name is Damien Hawksley. His brother was Adrien Hawksley, known as the angel maker, as he raped and killed 15 women between the age of 18 and 25. He picked women that resembled innocence and purity, flaunting them in public places positioning them as if they were praying to confess their sins. Adrien Hawksley was prosecuted 6 years ago and it looks like that Damien then became obsessed with the BAU, especially Hotch, since he has the most media presence. Adrien was executed three months ago and that’s when Damians search for Hotch intensified again.”

My blood run cold. I remembered that case as if it happened yesterday. I noticed the looks of the teams faces and took a deep breath, explaining deeper what that monster did: “He was a sadist. Getting off on torturing his victims by cutting them as much as possible. Trying to prolong the torture he started with shallow cuts until he couldn’t hold back, completely losing it and stabbing and slashing his victims until they were disfigured beyond recognition.”

“Oh my god…” JJ breathed out, her blue eyes wide in shock and horror. Morgan throwing a knowing look at me: “Lets just hope his brother is not the same.”

“I doubt that.” Rossi intervened. “Damian became really obsessed with Hotch and his brother. If he really wants to hurt Hotch, he will bring back to live what died with his brother.” His words made me internally throw up. A sour taste rising in my throat, threatening to spill into my mouth. “Garcia find out if there are any spots where Damian would go often and compare it to the places Reid geologically profiled.” I said, my voice sore, but I tried my best to hide my fear. It took Garcia a few seconds of typing on her laptop, before she exclaimed: “There are two addresses that are directly in the hit zone of Reids profile. One being the old abandoned family home on the edge of the Mason Neck State Park and the other an old wrecker’s yard in Newington. I sent the address to your phones.”

As soon as she spoke the team rose to their feet. “Rossi, JJ and Emily you take the wreckers yard in Newington, Morgan and Reid you two come with me, we will take the family home.” The team sprang into action, rushing through the building and into the cars.

The whole drive I was on edge. All my thoughts were circling around Lilith and what happened to her. The sun was already rising, as it has taken us over 3 hours to figure out who got her and where they would hide her.

Pov Lilith:

I stared at the man in front of me in shock. Watching him, as he let his long fingers carefully wander across the blades. “You know my brother had a special knife for different things. He really loved cutting up his victims. Watch them scream in pain. It was foreplay to him.” Oldman crept closer to me, a long knife with a broad blade and thick handle in hand. I swallowed hard, preparing myself for the incoming pain.

My fingers started to grow sweaty, and I could feel the hairs on my skin to rise in goosebumps. Oldman stepped behind me, setting the blade right onto my chest underneath Hotchs shirt. I knew what was going to happen, biting my jaw to keep my composure. The searing sound of fabric being cut and ripped apart, was incomparable loud in my ears, nearly drowning out the agitated breathing of myself and Oldman.

When he was finished, he opened up the shirt with his knife, letting the back of the blade run over my skin. Weighing my breasts with it. The cold metal send shivers down my spine and I twitched every time he set it back onto me, expecting the pain to suddenly arise. But that never happened. Quite the opposite. Another four expert cuts, and the shirt and panties I was wearing were gone. “I really understand, what Hotchner sees in you. This body is just…”

“Please…” I begged. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I do not?” He asked, a sly grin in his voice. “Why not? I am not planning on running away. All I want is revenge. And you are just the sweetest kind.”

I was close to crying, my lips trembling in fear of what he was going to do to me. “Please… If you stop now, you have a chance to get a shorter sentence. This will just get you locked away longer.” I tried to argue my way out, the fear sinching hot in my mind. I looked at the camera, then the laptop, seeing nothing but the empty living room and the reflection of my naked body. Oldman didn’t react to my begging. Letting go of me, I could hear him rattle around behind me with what sounded like chains.

“Like I said. I don’t plan on running away. I also don’t need a shorter sentence. All I want is revenge. And I will get my revenge on the man, that killed my brother.” He growled, stepping in front of me again. I saw he had two metal cuffs in his hands, closing them around my wrists. “Please don’t…” I begged, the tears now starting to roll down my cheeks. Oldman just ignored me, keeping on with his monolog: “I have stage 4 lung cancer. The doctors have given me not more than 6 months to live. I will be dead, before they even properly prosecuted me. There is nothing I have to lose. Aaron on the other hand will lose it all. He will feel like I feel, knowing he failed the most important person in his life.”

With fast movements, he cut the rope around my arms, pulling on the chain in his hands. My hands were ripped above my head, and I barely managed to stay on my feet. Oldman kicked the chair out of the way, shoving me in the position he wanted and then proceeded to secure the chain on a hook on the wall. Then he stepped behind me, but I wasn’t really paying attention to his presence anymore. I stopped putting up the walls to make me seem unbothered, and now I was full on crying. A sharp slap across my face made me yell out in pain and I could taste blood seeping into my mouth. “Listen to me, you little bitch.”

Stifling my cries, I took a deep breath, looking around to find a way to fight back. Oldman didn’t seem to notice at all. He just kept on talking: “You know, I really thought, I would be able to do it like my brother did it with his chicks. But when I watched you and Aaron, I got a better idea. It came to me one night when I was watching you guys. And that’s when I realized why you chose him. You are a whore. Desperate to be used by a man. Isnt that right?”

I let out a sharp yell, raising my feet up in the air, trying to kick him, but he just sidestepped me. “Awww look at that. Little Missy is embarrassed. Don’t be. We all have our dark sides. Maybe even see it as something positive. You wont struggle to hard to give me, what I want.”

“Leave me alone!” I yelled, still swinging back and forth. The fear I felt minutes ago, slowly spreading and changing into even more terror. I knew what was going to happen. He would not only rape and hurt me; he would do it in a way Aaron would never forgive himself for.

Oldman started to unroll another bag and I could see that he brought several items that would inflict pain without leaving wounds behind. I grabbed the chain connecting my cuffs with both my hands and ripped on it. Trying my best to get the chain to loosen from the hook and to give me more freedom to work with. But it didn’t. All it did was rub the skin around my wrists raw. In the corner of my eyes, I could see Oldman deciding on a whip, slowly taking it out from his bag. “You see that?” He asked, turning around with an evil grin. “If I remember correctly that’s the type you love the most. Or at least I figured from the way you were moaning Aarons name. Lets see, if you will do the same for me.”

He walked closer to me, rounding me several times, while he let the instrument of his choice smoothly slide across my skin. “I wont give you what you want!” I pressed out, flinching under every move the whip made. It felt like just that touch was giving me burn marks, because the trails left a stinging sensation behind. Oldman just chuckled, stopping behind me. “We will see.”

Pov Aaron:

Once we reached the house, we didn’t take long entering it. And as soon as we were inside, I heard the scream of Lilith ring through the room. My head snapped up and I was racing for the door, only to be stopped by a man stepping into my line of sight, blocking my way. Aiming a gun at me, he smirked: “Agent Hotchner. What a pleasant surprise to see you here.” His voice was full of pride and arrogance. I aimed my gun at him looking him straight in the eye. “Liam Sidle. Drop your weapon and step aside.” I ordered him, clenching my teeth as another scream rang through the door, followed by quiet sobs. Liam didn’t look bothered by it at all. “Sounds like she has given up. In the beginning her cries were usually accompanied by insults.”

“Step aside!” I repeated, not reacting towards his words. Behind him, I could see how Reid and Morgan took their position, Morgan speaking up: “Drop the gun. There is nothing you can do. You are surrounded.”

Liam tilted his head slightly, lowering the gun, before he looked back at me: “I wish you the best of luck. You might have saved her, but she will never be the same.” Then he raised his gun and before anyone could react, I pulled the trigger.

The loud bang ringing through the hallway, his lifeless body slumping to the floor. Morgan was at his side immediately, but I just beelined for the door, kicking it in with all the strength I had. And what I saw made me see red.

[machineheraldandy]

Miguel and Gabriel analysis talk (OG comics)

Kinda…maybe…idk…

Content warnings: there is mention of the abuse Gabriel and Miguel went through

Content warnings: there is mention of Miguel’s suicidal tendencies here

This may come out as complete ramble that doesn’t make sense and honestly that’s to be expected as I’m very passionate about this, like…extreme so

This is about the idea of Miguel relying unhealthily on Gabriel and how I believe the new writing direction of the comics cannot be canon to Miguel’s character and mischaracterise him because I fully believe that he would not be able to successfully be a hero without his brother.

If you don’t know in nearly all the new comics for Miguel o’hara, Gabriel o’hara dies, he’s either already dead, or dies within the comic, we are seeing that with the new comics about to come out as well, it’s even within the novel.

Though I do think the novel did a good job, the novel showed Miguel became a shell of himself, and became nothing, unable to find proper purpose, but yet I still think that isn’t right, it isn’t what I be,I’ve Miguel would do.

Now you need context of everything first, Miguel is spiderman second, but he is a victim of family based abuse first. It is what makes him. Him. The only family that has not abused him is Gabriel, his little brother, another victim of abuse

George is written to be an abusive asshole, he is misogynistic, racist, verbally, mentally, and physically abusive, to the point it’s believed that Gabriel could have gone through physical abuse, he was pushy and forced Miguel into schooling he didn’t want.

Conchata is neglectful, and physically abusive, even if the writers tried to pretend it was just normal things for mothers to do and kept trying to make him and her reconnect, and within latest comics she tends to appear to blame Gabriel’s death on him.

Kron stone is Miguel’s bully, he spends his time attempting to kill Miguel, publicly shaming him in front of people, and such in a way that can be considered another form of abusive. All while having a power position held over Miguel due to his father.

Tyler stone is abusive, he drugs Miguel, he admits he groomed Miguel, he’s not a good person, simple as that, he’s meant to be a villain in his writings. Edit: he also has an extreme power over Miguel though that’s part of grooming.

Who’s the only alive member we see that isn’t like this? Gabriel, his baby brother, that’s why Miguel is dependent on him. And I’m going to explain more on how he’s dependent

It’s shown that a form of self harm Miguel does is pushing people away he cares for and desperately needs, when he wants to harm himself, he harms the people he cares for, pushes them away. He has done this so much with Gabriel, the first time we properly see Gabriel, miguel is trying to push him away, trying to avoid him. Miguel attempted to push him deeply away in the way of cheating on Xina with Gabriel’s girlfriend Dana, he keeps working for the company that Gabriel hates, he does everything in small ways to get Gabriel to hate him. It’s purposeful, it’s because he needs his brother, and because he needs his brother, he has to attempt to push him away. He has to. That’s his self harm, which shows that Gabriel is one of the most important people to him.

Miguel needs Gabriel, he can’t deal without his little brother, in fact at the very end of the 1992 comics, when miguel leaves things behind and seemingly quits for some time (until later 1990s comics) that only comes after his brother actually “abandons” him, which we end up knowing isn’t true as it was a shape shifter pretending to be Gabriel, but the reason it seems Miguel ends up not giving up and attempts to keep going on is to find Gabriel. His purpose becomes more so to find Gabriel, to keep him safe, he knows Gabriel is alive and well, and needs to find him. That becomes his purpose including in alternative universes. Edit: his reason for staying spiderman is purely because of wanting Gabriel’s safety by all means

Miguel needs Gabriel, he can’t live without him, he can’t do that, and I’m saying that he would not live, he’d refuse to without Gabriel. You already see he is suicidal, he is known as the suicidal spiderman, he may be passive suicidal, we see drawings of him hanging himself. We hear how he makes plans to end himself, we see how he wants to end it but is too much of a coward. And I say he’s a “coward” as he sees himself as still having a slight purpose, to stay with his brother. But if he doesn’t have his brother?

Gabriel is his self control, his reason to live, the only family he has that loves him, he needs Gabriel, he needs his little brother, he can’t be without his brother. If you go by 1992-1995 writing, then it has to be argued that Miguel wouldn’t just keep being a hero, he wouldn’t keep being alive.

How to make Gabriel disappear?

The thing is the writers tend to kill off Gabriel to push the story, to push the narrative, Gabriel is like that female character in stories that gets killed off for the male protagonist, this time he’s just a brother, a brother that should not have had this happen, it doesn’t make sense logically. The thing is they treat Gabriel as uncle Ben, he isn’t, uncle Ben exists in their universe and is long dead, Miguel is not Peter Parker, Peter Parker exists in his universe and is long gone, he does not have a uncle Ben, it shouldn’t be that way, Gabriel is not his uncle, he is his only family he cares for, at most he should be treated like aunt may possibly, but barely.

I believe the real way to may Gabriel disappear is to not kill him but make him leave by his own will, alive. Gabriel goes through a lot of things, and logically him leaving Miguel behind can work. Gabriel’s girlfriend cheats on him with Miguel, his next girlfriend falls for Miguel, George only ever cared for Miguel, Miguel is loved by entire nations as spiderman, conchata starts to give him more attention, Gabriel is a victim of abuse that is a people pleaser, who is desperate for his mothers love, if he has to share his mothers love when he struggles to get the love of anyone else? Yeah that may start to push him over the edge, on top of that but Miguel does push him away, Miguel gives Gabriel many reasons to disown him. By all means Gabriel gets put through a lot of shit.

Make it so Gabriel leaves Miguel due to things Miguel can’t control but also can control, make it so that Miguel has to confront himself. Miguel has to see his actions, has to see his self harm, has to see how he’s a dickhead pushes people away. See how him doing things like idk sleeping with his brothers girlfriends is extremely bad. Make it so Miguel has to grow and learn to change, and go through difficult times, by getting Gabriel to leave him alive.

If you take Gabriel away by killing him off, it doesn’t give Miguel proper reason to change, it gives him reason to die. His brother that loved him so much and he loved so much died? What’s the point? But the brother that loved him and he loves so so much doesn’t care for him anymore? Miguel goes through a depression and then changes himself, so he can be around his brother again.

You take a desperate man barley living and get rid of his reason to live, and you don’t have what marvel is trying to convince you they have.

But hey that’s just personal opinion and maybe a fanfic idea for someone :D

Edits done: fixing spelling errors

[advocatingpeanut]

My mom and I have been binge watching Lost this summer and we're rushing through the last season before I go back to school.

Is it just me or does EVERY main character have such tragic backstories?

Jack: Drunk dad he had no closure with until Sawyer finally said something. A mother who defended said father. And a wife who left him. Not to mention he has a step-sister he doesn't even know about until later in the show.

Kate: Kills her stepfather for being abusive, learns her dad isn't actually her biological father, gets harassed by police, has a series of toxic relationships.

Sawyer: Is traumatized as a child and orphaned. When he seeks revenge, he kills the wrong man, and as such, feels guilty for it. Has a series of toxic relationships.

Hurley: Is in a mental institution, learns he has hallucinations and thinks himself crazy, is self-conscious about his weight and binge eats, has an absent father who suddenly shows up when Hurley wins the lottery, has bad luck because of the numbers.

Sayid: Is forced to torture people at a young and impressionable age, loses his first love and searches for her to no avail and in doing so is blackmailed by the FBI into convincing his college roommate into becoming a suicide bomber, watches said friend kill himself

Locke: Was born premature and very sick as a baby, his teenage mother didn't want him and his grandmother didn't give it a second thought when giving him up for adoption, is told he isn't special, is told throughout his life what he can't do, Anthony Cooper blackmails him into giving up one of his kidneys and then tries to kill him, his one romantic relationship ends as a result of Anthony Cooper's involvement, is paralyzed for four years

Claire: Has a tense relationship with both her mother and her aunt, her baby's father gets her hopes up then leaves her, has a psychic give her all sorts of conflicting information, feels guilty for considering giving her baby up for adoption, survives a plane crash while heavily pregnant

Charlie: Tries to help his brother get clean, tries to keep himself on the straight and narrow and in doing so becomes an addict himself, watches his brother get better as he gets worse, his band fails to sustain its success

Jin: Grows up poor and is harassed for being part of a lower class, falls in love with a woman in a higher class and is forced to do her father's dirty work to marry her, becomes aggressive and withdrawn until well after the plane crashes

Sun: Forced to be under her father's rule and falls in love with a man in a lower class, is blackmailed for a large sum of money by Jin's mother - a prostitute, has an affair with a man who loves someone else and feels guilty for it

Ben: His mother dies shortly after childbirth and his father becomes a drunk and blames him for it, is groomed from a young age by the Hostiles and gives the go-ahead for them to kill the Dharma Initiative, becomes their leader and must be ruthless.

Juliet: Is a divorcee, her ex-husband is her boss and flaunts his sexual escapades in front of her, her sister has cancer and Juliet cannot watch her be cured nor see her nephew grow up save for a glimpse of a black and white recording that lasted a few seconds, Ben controls her and does not let her leave the island.

Michael: Him and his girlfriend have a son, whom Michael loves very much and is committed to taking care of. Said girlfriend takes a job in another country and only tells Michael after she has accepted the offer. In the same conversation, breaks up with him and informs she will be romantically involved with her new boss and they will raise Walt. When Michael tries to travel to see Walt, he is injured and cannot leave. His ex-girlfriend visits, says she is marrying her boss, wants Michael to give up parental rights. A long, drawn-out custody battle ensues, Michael is eventually convinced by ex to sign away rights so her new husband can adopt him. Says goodbye to son that doesn't even remember him. Writes letters and draws pictures over the course of several years that his mother keeps from him. When Walt is 9 or so, his adoptive father comes to see Michael, tells him ex died, he never wanted to be a dad in the first place and only adopted Walt to appease ex. Gives custody to Michael. He tries to raise his son that doesn't even know him and amazingly after all that, doesn't paint ex or adoptive dad to be bad guys and doesn't turn Walt against them.

Desmond: Tries to find his purpose, gets fired from being a monk. His girlfriend's dad constantly undermines him, tells it to his face, actively tries to keep his daughter away from him. Goes on an around the world trip her dad is hosting to prove to him his worth and gets stuck on the island for four years. His one companion he accidentally kills and his life becomes pushing the button every 108 minutes.

Rose: Has cancer, falls in love with Bernard and he takes her to healers. Nothing works. She believes she is dying.

Boone: Is in love with his step-sister and is constantly manipulated and played by her and her many romantic interests.

Shannon: Is smart but plays the dumb, helpless, pretty blonde role. Manipulated her step-brother for money but probably feels guilty for it, especially when she has a moment of clarity about what type of situation she's in and wants to get out. Is accepted into a prestigious program all of her own hard work and asks her step-mother for money to attend it. Her step-mother says she is the sole beneficiary of her father's money, disowns Shannon and keeps said money.

Ana-Lucia: Is constantly trying to impress her mother, is shot while pregnant and loses the baby. When she tries to return to work before she is ready, she gets an earful from her mother for it. Kills the man that shot her, taking revenge and justice in her own hands and not the law's. Gets reprimanded for it. Is hired as a bodyguard for Jack and Claire's dad and is constantly confused about what they're doing. Shares a drink with Jack and is flirtatious. It never goes past that.

[luvsupa]

hello, anon here again. i have a few story ideas just in case you ever run out of ideas :)

I. the old hanahaki disease with sukuna.

reader is one of his faithful servants and all that and she’s grown to have a liking towards sukuna. she knows it’s stupid but she can’t help her feelings towards him, because even though he doesn’t directly say it, he’s (accidentally) showed how much he actually cares for reader, even though he doesn’t. he’s actually in love (or has an attraction) towards yorozu or anyone of your choice. so in the end, reader finds out she’s suffering from hanahaki & tries to hide it while sukunas over here banging yoruzu or whoever without a care in the world for reader

II. in another life with nanami

nanami is suffering from a disease that’s incurable and only has a few days left to live. and in those days, reader makes it the best for him to enjoy (sorry if that doesn’t make sense, english isn’t my mothers tongue). they do all sorts of things that nanami has been waiting to do and in his final moments, nanami wants to let out his final last words to her. but before he could say it, he dies. reader goes through all the stages of grief after he dies. she just can’t get herself to move on especially after all she’s been through. a few years after nanami dies, reader has a steady job, blah blah. and one day catches herself going to the park. she accidentally makes eye contact with a man that looks EXACTLY like nanami. could it be? her nanami? the man smiles at her and brushes past her soldier. and you can chose to end it from there :)

III. i don’t know what to name this (could be a second chances with geto) but

reader is a single mom to her 1 year old daughter. when her daughter was born, her shitty ex boyfriend left (smh). but ever since then, reader has been the best mother to her daughter. she plays both the mother and the father. reader works a steady job and even though her boss may be hard on her, she still pushes through and earns her bands. one day, reader and her daughter go out to some play place and she accidentally lets her daughter go lose. she starts panicking because how could she be so careless with her own daughter? but that’s where gentleman geto comes in and asks if our daughter is ours. we end up showering him with thanks but something catches our eye. he looks like the suguru geto we dated in high school. the same suguru geto who we planned our life out together. the same suguru geto who we broke up with because we were just to caught up in our own feelings? and you can continue it from there :)

IIII. popular boy!gojo (with a bit of forbidden love ??)

a typical trope of the popular guy falling in love with the quiet girl. satoru gojo. the son of the richest man in japan. if anyone fucks with gojo, they face the consequences through his father. but despite all that, gojo is your typical popular boy. he’s insanely rich, snobby, and a bop. he’s had multiple ex girlfriends who’s only used him for his status and wealth. so long story short, gojos basically never had a real girlfriend who’s shown him what real love is. all this continued until he laid his eyes on reader. he has no idea who she is. he’s asked geto, nanami, any of his friends to see if he could get knowledge about us. but none of his friends knew. (they were either to busy ramming other girls or just didn’t care). later, gojo finds out that reader is a new student. now , reader has already heard multiple stories about the infamous gojo satoru. she’s been told to stay away from him no matter what because at the end, we’ll just become like one of his ex girlfriends. but that didn’t stop us from noticing gojo back. will gojo finally find the girl who will treat him right? how will other students react when gojo announces his feelings for reader? and you can continue from here!

just a few story ideas lol

DAYUUMMM ANONNNN 😵😵 THESE IDEAS ARE AMAZINGGGG THANK U SO MUCH?!!&9 the way I was tryna think of an idea and I see this like omg 🥹🥹🥹

your ideas are amazing you should really start ur own acc and post🥹🥹🥹 your ideas are GOOODDDTTTT

[jellyfishloveletterghosts]

My Harringrove AU List A-M

Part 2 - N-Z

Afterlife

I Missed You - Steve dies and is reunited with Billy in the afterlife.

Android

Build-A-Man - Mrs. Harrington buys Steve an android to take care of him, he doesn't particularly like it but Billy isn't going anywhere.

Animal Hybrids

Bunny - Billy comes home to his bunny.

Collars - Catboy Steve has a collection of collars.

Nest Material - Billy has been stealing bits of hair and fur from Steve since he got to town. Today it comes to a head.

Night Time Rituals - Catboy Steve and Billy’s bedtime ritual. 

Eggcellent - Steve is just trying to do his job and get his eggs delivered but finds himself waylaid by a determined wolf.

Seashells and Books on Tape - When Billy gets to Hawkins he finds his mate, the only problem is Billy can't get his mouth to work right around him so he has to find other ways to make his intentions known.

Bender (AtLA)

Fight Night - Steve and Billy are forced to fight. When Steve throws the match it pisses Billy off. 

New Trick? - Steve likes to fuck with Billy when he’s angry.

Childhood Friends to Loves

Helping Hand - Steve has hang ups about touching his own dick preventing him from masturbating, Billy offers him a helping hand.

Kill For You - Steve accidently killed Neil when they were kids, Billy has been protecting him ever since and he'll never stop.

College/University

Bidder, Bidder Won’t You Take Me Home - Steve is up for auction for a charity event Carol's sorority is hosting, after seeing Billy he wants his bid. (Werewolf/Succubus) 

Drink Me - Billy adds a little something special to Steve's coffee every morning. (Coffee Shop Au)

Insecurities of Drinking - Steve gets insecure when he is drinking and seeing some drunk girl kiss Billy doesn't help.

It’s A Date - Billy's advisor insists he needs to take a refresher course, Billy doesn't want to be there until Steve Harrington of all people walks in.

Worm - Billy takes issue with Steve's sweater.

Crime Boss

Trigger Happy - Steve doesn't like it when Billy shows up with injuries.

Curses

Care and Feeding - Billy comes to town and befriends Steve. Billy would like to pursue more than that but he is determined to wait until Steve gets over his recent heartbreak. (Werewolf/Fairy)

Deaged

The Babe With The Power (Series) - Steve ends up a much younger version of himself and Billy happens to be his favorite person.

Demigods

Death and Flowers - Steve ventures down into the underworld to retrieve Dustin’s soul, Billy offers him a deal in return for it.

Demons

Demon Steve/Mob boss Billy - Steve follows his nose to Billy and instead of getting a soul gets a date. 

Disabilities

All In The Hands - Billy isn't sure how surviving Starcout leads to the kids deciding he's friend material but he'd be lying if he said he minded. Especially when they help him learn sign language and get a date.

As Many Times As You Want - Steve is a little drunk and he finally takes Billy up on an offer he has been making for months.

Helper Billy - Steve suffers from neurological issues and Billy is hired to help him in his day to day life.

Farmer

The Fairy In The Garden - Billy finds an unexpected visitor in his garden. (Werewolf/Fairy)

Fairy 

How to Catch a Boyfriend - Billy wanders into the forest and meets a fairy. He's sure Steve and the fairy are one in the same and all he wants to do is keep them.

Christmas - Just some Hc’s for HtCaB during the holiday. 

FemHarringrove

Best Behavior - Stevie needs to be on her best behavior and Billie makes sure she will be. (Royalty)

California - Stevie invites Billie out to California for her birthday.

The Hawkins Roller Rink - Billie Goes exploring when she gets to Hawkins and see the most beautiful girl on skates.

Melt - Billie fucks Stevie with a popsicle.

Straight From The Source - Billie takes the long path to get what she wants, luckily it works out.

Sweatpants - Billie just wants to see her girlfriend in some pants.

Tastes Like Sunshine - Billie has dinner waiting when Stevie gets home. (Werewolf/Vampire)

Flayed/Killer

Black in The Moonlight - The mind flayer thinks they need to get rid of Steve until they follow him.

Let Me Mu-Marry You - They take someone Steve wanted.

Flayed/Powers

The Grower and The Shower - Steve reveals his powers to save everyone at the last minute, Billy checks on him in the aftermath.

Furries

Come Sit On My Lap - Billy borrows his new work uniform. It definitely awakens some things even if Steve is not willing to admit he is into it too.

Furry Billy - Billy making his own suits

Genderfluid/Genderqueer

It’s Cold But Your Mouth It’s Burning - Billy likes wearing makeup he’s not expecting Steve to think it looks good on him.

Washed Pink - Steve gets his cheap little red heart shaped sunglasses after sleeping with Tammy, and they end up being friends. Steve really likes the way he looks in those sunglasses, the way the world looks, turns out Billy really liked them too.

Haunting (Real or Imagined)

Baby Steve and the Ghosts - this isn’t technically harringrove but honorable mention because if I ever actually add more it’s supposed to be harringrove. - Steve is born during a winter storm and the ghosts think of him as theirs.

Ghost Deterrent -  Billy is bored and wants nachos, Steve is bathing in the dark and has nachos. Billy gets more than nachos.

You’re A Vision - Billy dies but he's not gone, he spends most of his time haunting Steve.

Headless Horseman

Pumpkin Head - Headless Horseman Billy and his witchy partner having some fun in the pumpkin patch.

Magic

A Different Kind of Love Spell - Steve leaves the castle on his tenth birthday looking to gain parental love. (Royalty)

Dandelion Wishes - Billy finds a dandelion as a child and makes a wish for someone that will love him forever.

It’s Your Birthday, We Can Cry If We Want To - Every year Steve makes a cake and every year he summons Billy Hargrove from beyond the grave.

Kitchen Witch - Steve has magic, he just doesn't know it. He doesn't believe Dustin no matter how many times he insists that Steve's food is magic, because that is preposterous. Slowly others start to recognize that Steve has magic too, and then Billy comes along with accusations of a love potion when Neil gets a hold of some cookies Steve made and starts acting nice.

Magic Touch – Werewolf Billy steals Steve’s sex sleeve and has no idea what he’s really gotten ahold of. 

Magical Boy

Mantle of The Black Cat - Things are looking really bad at the junkyard so Steve makes a deal with a talking cat.

Mechanic

Perkin’s Repair Shop - Billy’s car breaks down, his car can’t be fixed today but his day can.

Minotaur

Minotaur Billy - Steve enters the labyrinth to help out Robin and there he meets Billy.

Modern

Dick Pic - Billy sends Steve a dick pic. The response he gets is better than he hoped for. 

Making Friends - Steve hasn't made any friends in his fandom, Billy tries to help.

Pretty Boy - Billy starts texting Steve while he is out of town, when he gets home he comes for Steve. 

Squish Me - Steve is a content creator who mostly posts about Squishmallows. Billy doesn't care about the mallows but he still watches all of Steve's videos.

Take a Dirty Picture for Me - Billy and Max have a deal she takes pictures of Steve for him and he leaves her friends and her alone. Steve find out and Billy makes a new deal, Steve takes the pictures Billy wants and he continues to leave them be. Billy wants more than candids though and things heat up.

Tickle - Steve has been playing the same song for hours, Billy is going to put a stop to it. 

The View - Billy works at the Hot Topic in the mall and Steve works in the Sanrio store right next door.

Your Little Shit - Steve treats himself to some lingerie and Billy just happens to be around when his box full of pretty lacy things comes in. Billy insists Steve try them on so he can act as his second opinion.

Models

Model Behavior - Billy finally gets to do a shoot with Steve 'The Hair' Harrington and he could not be happier with the way it turns out. 

MPreg

The Belly - Billy insists on taking pictures of Steve's stomach as soon as they get the positive test.

Musicians

Video Killed the Radio Star - Billy gets a lot of flack for defending a fan against a creeper. Billy finally meets the fan he defended.

Part 2 - N-Z