#running to ao3 rn

[ivyial]

so i just finished chapter 3 of jake and sherry's campaign in re6 and

.

why do i never see anything about this ship they're so cute wtf, pls tell me they used to be at least sort of popular back in the re6 days

[canonically47]

WAKE UP DEATH CAST UPDATED

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

[sibbydoo]

you ever read a fic so good that every few paragraphs (or hell- every few SENTENCES) you have to go to another app or tab while walking laps cause it’s making you go nuts? yeah

[inusmasha]

Mountain Miko on A03

Summary:

In a secluded mountain village run by a society of mysterious women, Kagome, a young initiate, embarks on a transformative journey under the mentorship of their highly esteemed miko, Kikyo

Prologue – A Dark Fairytale 

In the beginning, within a realm where ancient magic held sway, there once lived a man renowned for his ability to weave spells that brought good fortune to those willing to pay. His performances were nothing short of captivating spectacles, drawing in many who gasped in the grandeur of his rituals. Over time, growing more and more powerful by the day, his glittering magical displays began to draw in the curiosity of wealthy patrons far and wide. 

"How do you do it?"

"You need only to give voice to what you desire." 

Over the years the man turned sorcerer grew proud and prouder still, having forgotten what humble beginnings he crawled out of. He wore his wealth on his body, he adorned his beard with sickly sweet smelling oils and lined his fingers with ostentatious rings. In the era of spell making, the Sorcerer had made this life by his own hand...a hand in possession of a certain Jewel. A small nothing looking bead that was easy to miss even though it hung in plain sight. It's presence barely felt, barely a whisper, only a quiet gnawing at the bottom of his being. 

In the dark night, the heavy shadow of some blackguard, from some dying noble house, made its way to the Sorcerer with big news. A big problem that required a big idea. This truly fair and noble family was harboring a plot to unseat the current emperor and had come to him for help to remedy the issue. 

"What you ask is treason."

"What I ask is to entertain possibilities."

Truth be told; if they had the coin then it did not matter what the request was. He would entertain their hypocrisies. They can keep their dull innocence, keep their hands clean, while he did the unseemly. Though it was dangerous to play with this sort of magic, it's practically what it was there for. 

"What say you, Sorcerer?" 

...it has to be you.. only you could do it.. wish maker ..wishmaker.. wish-

A sinister alliance was forged that night, and he sought to orchestrate their rise to power through sinister rites. 

 His displays of enchantment evolved into bloody ceremonies with costly offerings, ranging from the most humble of creatures to majestic beasts. First a sparrow, a snake, a cat, a wolf to lions, tigers, and- it wasn't enough! To ensure their success, the sorcerer needed more potent sources of power, and he turned to darker methods. He began raiding graveyards for human bones, believing that spirits of the deceased would grant him greater strength. However, he soon realized that live human sacrifices to the Jewel would yield even stronger results. 

Of course! 

Yes, there was a war. 

There was an empty seat in an empty dank room. 

Once the new emperor assumed that cold throne for his own, he called for the Sorcerer to come join him at his royal court and to squat on the lap of luxury. That's what those savage acts were for.. but that damn cursed gnawing hunger never left. It wasn't enough. 

And then...Their paths crossed that fateful evening when he was summoned to perform before their Lord. This was it! Oh! His journey had led him to the fair maiden with black silk for hair. The Sorcerer's infatuation with the woman was relentless, an unquenchable burning within him. Her every word, her every glance, fueled this insatiable longing. He wanted her as his bride. 

But alas she did not want him for her heart belonged to-

It did not matter. He would take her.

In his desperation to possess her he believed that the Jewel, his divine potent resource, could make her love him. The Jewel, fatter still, fed on his fixation. He hated her. He loved her. He hated her. He loved her. The Jewel had never tasted something so sickly sweet. 

"You need only to give voice to what you desire." 

He wished for the woman.

In a final, frenzied act, he sought to give the Jewel a tangible form, giving it arms and legs in which to carry out the deed. Not as some caricature but as something living, with blood and bones. 

"..This flesh is your flesh, these hands your hands!"

At the altar, with great suffering, he relinquished what little was left of his human to the bloody pearl. This was the deep dark material in which miracles sprang forth. He would conjure heaven.. but in the morning there was nothing but the cold dank air, and ash. The fate of both he and the now missing maiden was shrouded in mystery. The ending to this story is always the same.

Now, the Jewel, revered and closely guarded, rests within the new emperor's grasp. It's true nature forgotten. Though the emperor may hold suspicions about the Sorcerer's demise, he chose to remain oblivious of the perils. The relic remained concealed, subject to constant study that often exacted a grim toll and a long list of names never to be spoken of. The Jewel passes from one ruler to the next, as an heirloom of both great power and who's hunger continues to shape the endless road of petty human conflict. 

And we exist in its consequence.   

Many generations pass and eventually the one named Midoriko is born.

[themoonking]

when people bring up the racism, homophobia, transphobia, romanticization of domestic abuse / rape / pedophilia / incest, literal actual written porn of literal actual real life flesh and blood children, et cetera et cetera on archive of our own, one of the ao3 stannies’ main defenses is “you can just filter out the tags if you don’t want to see that!” when that defense has no fucking legs to stand on.

ao3 is not an archive, it is barely even a website: a rant <3 (very long)

ignoring the fact that it’s a problem that all of that is permitted on the site in the first place (i guess child porn and racism are fine, and the people who allow it on their platform are fine, as long as i, personally, do not see it), that defense literally means nothing. it’s assuming that every little thing on ao3 is tagged properly and it absolutely is not, and if you think it is you are dumber than rocks. i mean for fuck’s sake, just touching on archive warnings and not tags, “creator chose not to use archive warnings” is literally a valid option for fic authors to use when it should fucking not be.

if someone is a freak who thinks that pedo shit is hot, they might not tag it as “rape” (archive warnings OR tags). i’ve literally seen underage father/son rape porn with no trigger warning tags but “child abuse if you squint”. IF YOU SQUINT. if someone thinks that domestic abuse is actually cool and sexy when attractive people do it, they might not tag it as “abuse”. if someone is a freak who likes incest, but bends over backwards to justify it by only shipping adopted family members, then they tell themselves that they don’t view it as incest, and might not tag it as “incest”. if someone is a racist, a homophobe, a transphobe, et cetera and they wrote bigotry into their fic (or else wrote a deliberate troll fic to trigger people on purpose), do you really think they’re going to tag it as racism / homophobia / transphobia / et cetera? and some people get kicks out of writing purposefully triggering content and either leaving it untagged or mistagging it so that people will read it unsuspectingly.

even for just general content tags, it’s a mess. people just forget to tag things all the time. people deliberately won’t tag the endgame ship of their fic because “it’s a spoiler heehee”. people use the romantic or sexual “x / y” tag instead of the platonic or otherwise “x & y” tag, sometimes by mistake sometimes on purpose. it’s a joked about issue how people will tag characters or ships that appear in their fic for two sentences.

there’s no standardization of tags, which is a pretty obvious problem. what first comes to mind is the “dead dove: do not eat” tag which should just not be a tag at all because it just has no meaning. depending on the individual fic writer using it, it could mean anything from “literally the most sickening and depraved thing you’ve ever read in your life” to “horror w/ gore”. but it applies to other vague tags too - different fic writers will have different ideas of what the tag means.

in addition to that, what is and isn’t made a filterable tag, what tags are made synonymous, et cetera, is entirely up to the whims of the site staff. as an example, if you’re trying to look for fanfiction of a singular animated disney movie, the infinite crossovers with other disney movies will not actually be counted as crossovers (which they are) because they’re classified as the “disney theatrical animated universe” (which isn’t a fucking thing), so you can’t filter them out the “exclude crossovers” way. if you try to filter out the fandom tag “disney theatrical animated universe”, it’ll show up with zero fics because that tag is synonymous with every disney animated film (regardless of if the fic author actually used the tag “disney theatrical animated universe” or not), thus also filtering out the one you actually wanted to find.

and do not get me fucking started on the “all media types tags”, which also just shouldn’t be a thing because it makes it fucking impossible to find the specific fics you’re looking for. some people use it in place of tagging a specific canon / adaptation when their fic very clearly draws from one specific canon / adaptation, and you can’t filter it out because it’s synonymous with every fandom tag under its umbrella.

as an example of the issues of both the “all media types” tag and mistagging in general: as a fan of the witcher books, it used to be a fucking ordeal to find fanfiction specifically for the books (post netflix show release). some show fans would, for whatever reason, tag their fics with the book fandom tag in addition to (or even in place of!!) the show fandom tag when their fics were unquestionably show-specific, meaning i could not simply search only in the book fandom tag. i could not simply filter out the show tag, because some show fans would, for whatever reason, tag as fucking “all media types”, when their fics were unquestionably show-specific. and alas, i could not filter out “all media types” and the show tag, so that i see only those fics which have been deliberately and exclusively tagged as the book, not only because as mentioned some show fans would tag their show fics with only the book tag, but also because the fucking all media types tag filters out the book tag as well, leaving me with zero fucking fics REGARDLESS of if the author actually used the “all media types” tag. now, thankfully, i’ve thankfully seen this issue in this specific fandom lessen, but it still occurs in other fandoms and i guarantee that it didn’t lessen in the witcher fandom because of any fixing of the site on the part of ao3 staff.

another common defense of ao3 freaks is that it’s an “archive”, and therefore can’t get rid of anything anyone posts, and disregarding the fact that that is not how archives fucking work, they don’t just allow anything and also ao3 DOES get rid of fics... when they say that they don’t like proshippers, apparently, archives have... you know... archivists. they have someone or a team of someones making sure that everything in the archive is *properly fucking categorized*. they have someone or multiple someones making sure that everything they recieve (1) belongs there and (2) is properly labeled and organized. same for libraries. meaning that if ao3 really were an archive and not a sub par fanfiction website, they’d have something like that in place. something as simple as a report button for fics with a review team that will see if something’s been mis- or untagged. they’d have some kind of standardization of tags (especially the warning / trigger tags) and have proper tagging enforced in some way. and then they could also do something like stop being spineless racists, queerphobes, and pedos have the barest minimum of content guidelines saying that you can’t post fucking hate speech.

if something is mistagged or untagged, the most you can do is leave a comment politely asking that the author fix the issue, and then hope and pray that they do that. and if that person thinks [insert form of abuse] is hot, or if they’re just straight up a bigot that wrote bigotry into their fics to be bigoted, or they’re a troll that gets kick out of deliberately traumatizing people by tricking them into reading their mis/untagged fics, they might not! AND if you see a major tagging issue on an orphaned work, or a work that has an inactive author / hasn’t been updated in forever, good fucking luck getting even a negative response.

you can’t permanently block tags (i mean even tumblr.hell has that), meaning that if you would like to search for fic without coming across something troubling, triggering, or just something you don’t like, you have to either (1) do a work around by having a bookmarked link for every fandom you’re in or every character you like with all of your tags already blocked, (2) download browser extensions that do the work for ao3 because they can’t be bothered themselves, or (3) input every individual tag every time you search ao3 and don’t forget that all of those options only fucking work at all when everything is tagged properly, and we’ve already established its not. you also can’t actually block people (you can only prevent them from commenting) meaning that if there’s a specific person you’d like to stay away from your fics or a specific fic author that you don’t like and would like to stop seeing their fics clogging up the tag, you’re out of luck (though for the latter you could insert “-[username]” into the “search within results” box, but then uh oh we’re right back around to having to input that every time or have a bookmark)

their archive warning system is shit. first of all it’s functionally useless because, as mentioned, “creator chose not to use archive warnings” is an option. what’s the fucking point of special required archive warnings if you’re going to allow people to opt out anyway. second of all, aside from “chose not to use warnings” and “no warnings apply”, the only warnings are “major character death”, “graphic depictions of violence”, “rape/non-con”, and “underage”. disregarding the fact that they shouldn’t be allowing porn of underage characters in the first place (but i’m talking to a brick wall on that issue) and that “non-con” (and “dub-con”) as terminology needs to die, it’s just fucking rape lets not use weasel words... this is a paltry list of possible warnings. there’s no official warnings for depictions of: domestic abuse, animal abuse, depictions of racism / homophobia / transphobia / et cetera, suicide, self harm, et cetera et cetera. and we return to the issue of standardization of tags. in your required archive warnings at very least, there should be a standardization of what these mean, but ao3′s own faq is just like “ehh... you decide. we’ll leave it up to you”. what qualifies as graphic depictions of violence? two people may write the same level of violence, but qualify “graphic” differently, and make different decisions regarding their warnings. and we also return to the issue of: if a freak doesn’t see something that is clearly rape as rape, they might not tag it as such.

this website gets a disgustingly large amount of money every year that it doesn’t fucking do anything with. it’s been over a decade and they’re still in fucking beta. features that would actually be useful, like an actual block system, don’t exist. they technically have a report system for abuse and harassment and such, but apparently what they qualify as abuse and harassment is fickle. ao3 defenders seem to be very proud of the legal work they do for fandom / fanfic authors, but they set aside a very small amount of the money they get every year for legal advocacy, and they actually use even less of that, because it’s not the early 2000s “anne rice hates fanfiction” era anymore - you aren’t going to get fucking sued for writing fanfiction in the first place. based on their own self-reported yearly cost of upkeep, they literally already have enough money to run the site as they are now for the next twenty years.

once again: ao3 is not an archive. it is not a library. it is barely a even a website.

[jojo-lane]

Pov you're spying on Johnny and Gyro for info on the corpse parts but they start badmouthing you and your man instead. 💀

[averlym]

HI I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE INTO ADAMANDI HOLY SHIT. Can’t believe so few people know about this masterpiece of a musical

:OOOOO hai i agree it is criminally (haha yknow bc there are crimes..) underrated!! and really brilliant!!! discovered it literally midway through the week and akdfjgsjhdsjhjgdf

have a doodle of the saints :3

[celestialcass]

hate it when people say fandoms are inherently toxic like... its amazing to recognize people you follow on tumblr reading your stuff [and LIKING IT??? AHJKDSDHFG] on ao3.... I was reading rise of the tmnt comics on here, switched tabs and saw that same artist READ MY NEWEST FIC AND GAVE KUDOS and i just about cried from how happy I was that they enjoyed my writing, same as how I'm enjoying their art!!! And when I post art that same thing can happen in reverse!! being in a fandom is INCREDIBLE

[politemenacephd]

Miguel x reader: a fortunate mistake

I meant to link this ages ago but wHOOPS now its five chapters long (six is going up tonight) if you wanna read spicy miguel smut turned tumultuous fluff/angst come on down shits about to get so much wilder https://archiveofourown.org/works/47718985/chapters/120286435

Summary: You are a regular human working overtime at the Spider Society HQ, who stumbles upon Miguel in a state of panic post-fight.

When he mistakes you for a threat and accidentally bites you, you discover in the most unfortunate way what his bite does: release a paralyzing venom that leaves you immobile. While waiting out the venom you strike up an unexpected tension with Miguel, one that can only lead to one outcome.

That one mistake quickly becomes two, then three, spiralling well out of his or your control. Your growing affection and comradery seems unstoppable, even as Miguel wrestles with his paranoia that his happiness may not be canon.

In no other universe does Miguel O'hara live to be happy, in no other universe is he supposed to find you. So is this mistake a gift of fate, or a disaster waiting to happen?

[majorproblems77]

Be me.

Writing Whumptober prompts, as i work through some ideas in my head for the writer's block I'm having right now.

Resist the urge to write about 4 new WIPS that are unrelated to anything and everything right now.

But also. Sky beloved, he needs more written about him.

What to do?

[my-ffanfiction-archive]

SECURITYWAITER FIC!

god I love descendants so let’s mix mix that shii with securitywaiter because i love them

song: One Kiss

rated: e for everyone B)

AAAAAA anyways

TW: The word vomiting? (it only shows up once but i’m adding this just in case) also passing out (again just in case!)

No swear words!! Hopefully that helps someone out :D

also, FIRST POST!! yeahyeah🤩

“NESS!!” Abby screamed. She rushed into the diner as the sky grew dark. Vanessa followed her in pursuit. The waiter, now known as Ness, stopped cleaning and waved at them.

“Hey guys! You here for some food or-” Before Ness could finish, he took notice of the short man being carried in Vanessa’s arms. “Oh. Oh no.” He rushed over to the two, the counter he was cleaning now being long forgotten.

“We- We were just at the pizzeria and- and-” Abby stuttered out while Vanessa laid Mike down in an unused booth near the trio. Ness looked over to Mike before rushing to Abby to comfort her.

Ness pondered what she meant by pizzeria, but decided to go with a statement first rather than a stress inducing question. “Hey hey! It’s alright. I’m sure whatever happened was in NO means your fault.” He ushered. Bending down to be her height and resting a hand on Abby’s shoulder to ground her. Ness swears he could see her smile sadly before quickly going back to a worried expression.

Vanessa walked over to the two and asked Ness something. “Hey do you by anyyyyy chance. Know a pizzeria by the name Freddy’s…?” Ness stared at Vanessa like he had been waiting for a question like this to be asked to him for his entire life. He immediately stood back up before responding.

“DO I know Freddy’s!? DO I?! Vanessa. I’ve been making theories about that place longer than Abby has probably been alive. Trust me. I know that place like the back of my hand.” Ness said with assurance.

Vanessa looked at him. “Well. Mike happens to work as a security guard there and… As you can tell something… Bad… Happened.” She grimaced at the memory as Ness looked at her in confusion.

“I uhm… understand that place doesn’t really have a good history but what in HELL happened there for you two to show up in front of Sparky’s?!” He stood back to get another glance at Mike before adding, “Sorry. The three of you.”

“Ness. I know it might seem strange but seriously it’s better if we just don’t explain it to you-…” Abby then cut off Vanessa before she could finish what she was saying.

“Me Vanessa Mike and all my friends were having some fun when all of a sudden my friends froze up and shut down. I get all upset because what the heck!! Anyways. Next thing I know they are like- vomiting smoke from their mouths?? Mike tells me and Vanessa to run for some reason and so we do obviously and Vanessa shuts the door. She opens it a second later though and Mike is on the ground passed out!! Also all my friends are gone so that sucks.” She frowned as she finished her long info-dump.

Ness stared at the younger Schmidt in absolute shock. Vanessa shared a similar look on her face. “So… Abby… you're telling me ‘your friends’ drugged mike..?” Ness tried his best to control himself so he doesn’t seem like he’s yelling in front of Abby.

Abby shook her head to signify a ‘yes’ as Ness sighed. “I mean… she is telling the truth.” Vanessa said bluntly. Hoping to make the situation less awkward. Her efforts didn’t really help though. So she tried something else. Humor. “Hey! Maybe you could try kissing him!”

Ness stared at her in absolute confusion. His face seemed to be blushing but only Abby really noticed. “…You know… True love’s kiss and all..?” Ness’s face grew a brighter red color as he thought about it.

“Isn’t that severely impractical…!?” Abby laughed at Ness’s blushing. Ness got more embarrassed when Vanessa even decided to join in on Abby’s loud giggling.

“C’mon I see you blushing like an idiot! Have some fun. It’s not like it’s gonna work? But if you chicken out just kiss him lightly on the cheek or something…” The waiter looked at Vanessa in disbelief.

“I have NEVER ‘chickened out.’” He said with fake anger before adding. “But uh- Maybe I will. Tonight.” Vanessa groaned as Abby laughed at her action. Repeating it with a more exaggerated feel.

“Anyway. I’m gonna go rob your company's fridge now. Wanna come Abb’s?” Vanessa felt her pockets to make sure she had everything with her before looking over to Abby to see what her answer was.

She found Abby aggressively nodding. “Yes please!” Vanessa smiled as she took Abby’s hand gently into hers for safety before leading her out into the Sparky’s storage room.

“WAIT YOU DON’T EVEN-” The pair walked off before Ness could finish. He still continued to add. “-Know… Where it is…” The waiter sighed as he turned over to the booth Mike was sleeping near. Ness became completely entranced by how soft Mike seemed. Almost, at peace. In a sense.

Ness breathed in and out. ‘Maybe… One try couldn’t hurt? Right?’ He thought as he straightened his uniform and brushed off his shoulders for any dust particles that might have fallen on him.

Vanessa and Abby peered from the doorway of the storage room. Vanessa pointed it out to Abby while whispering “Plan G: Get Ness to finally own up to his crush on Mike is a go!” Abby smiled as she watched the scene play out.

See, Abby and Vanessa KNOW they could’ve just brought Mike to a hospital and BOOM. But, Vanessa examined Mike for any wounds and came to the realization that nothing had really happened. Mike had just passed out from the gas. Her and Abby decided to use this hurdle as an advancement in their end goal. Ness and Mike FINALLY getting together. Mike and Ness together and ready for Plan G. Though, Vanessa and Abby would have NEVER expected Ness singing to be part of their plan!

“Don't freak out, it's okay

'Cause true love can save the day

And I think we feel the same

But I don't know..”

Ness danced around the room as he sang, and Vanessa and Abby watched in complete surprise. They knew Ness was a little bit of a theater kid but- They never knew it was THIS BAD.

“When we met, it was sweet

He was oh so into me

Seems like things are meant to be

But I don't know.”

Ness took off his apron he had been using to save his uniform from the substances he used to clean. He placed it on the other end of the booth and looked down on Mike. His face flushing just by the sight of him. He quickly broke the gaze and continued.

“Does he love me?

Or does he love me not?

Do I love him?

And is it strong enough?”

Abby and Vanessa shared a quick and quiet high-five as they saw Ness. Sharing their victory even though it may have been too early to celebrate.

“One kiss, one kiss It all comes down to this

One kiss, one kiss… Ooh!

One kiss, one kiss

This moment could be it

I, I, I wanna know

So here I go…”

The waiter hesitated as he tried to plant a soft kiss on the security guards lips. He tried, really! He did. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to fully commit to the idea. Vanessa and Abby groaned as they saw the hesitation.

“Keep it cool, keep it calm

Think he's loved me all along

But maybe I got it wrong

So I don't know…

He's so good, got my back

But maybe I'm just too bad

Could we be a perfect match?

Now, I don't know…”

“Oh I wish I had a camera right now…” Vanessa whispered to Abby as she nodded. Whispering back a quick “Me too” To the police officer before continuing to look at Ness.

“Does he love me?

Or does he love me not?

Do I love him?

And is it strong enough?!

One kiss, one kiss

It all comes down to this

One kiss, one kiss. Ooh!”

Ness continued to sing like no one was watching. In his head, he was thankful none of his coworkers could work late tonight, or else he’d have a LOT to explain. Or maybe he wouldn’t. His coworkers were kinda used to it at this point.

“One kiss, one kiss

This moment could be it

I, I, I wanna know

So here I go…”

Vanessa and Abby muttered a quick ‘Go.’ Rushing Ness to hurry up and just kiss that dude already!!

“Yeah, here I go…

I feel my heartbeat beating saying, ‘It's gonna work’

But if I'm dream-dream-dreaming, this is gonna hurt

Either I will or I won't

What if I do and he don't?

Is he my Romeo?

Oh, there's only one, one way to really know”

To get his mind off of Mike, and also to prepare himself for what he was about to convince himself to do, Ness finished cleaning the diner. Putting back on his apron for a second before finally getting it over with putting everything away. Of course he still hit some dance moves while he was getting ready.

“HEYYYYY one kiss, one kiss

It all comes down to this

One kiss, one kiss

Ooh One kiss, one kiss

This moment could be it

I, I, I wanna know

So here I go”

Ness leaned back down to Mike once again, Vanessa and Abby muttering another ‘Go!’ To encourage from afar. Mike immediately moved in his sleep, causing Ness to jump back.

“…Here I go…”

Ness went back in to try a second time, they always say second time's the charm- right? But while doing so Mike moves again. Ness quickly grew frustrated.

“Here I go!

Here I go…”

The Sparky’s waiter slowly put his lips ever so softly onto Mike’s. Vanessa and Abby cheered (for real this time) as Ness had finally done it. After a few seconds, he let go and rose back up. Feeling kind of stupid at the fact he sort of expected something to happen.

Suddenly, as if god had heard what Ness was thinking, Mike woke up in a cold sweat. He looked up and stared at Ness. Who stared back with just the same amount of shock. Even Vanessa had a surprised expression that had situated itself on her face.

Abby was smiling while Vanessa gazed in awe. She knew the kiss would work the whole time. After all, fairytales never lie! Everyone should know that.

“What… What happened.” Mike asked with fear, lacing his voice. He didn’t get an answer though. Just a few more minutes of panic induced silence before Ness yelled.

“WHAT THE FU-”

[burinazar]

It's a bit funny that to parts of my circles I'm 'the fandom one'/'the fanfic one'/'the shipping one' as the person they know most prominently into such things

because as much as i love writing my fics and shipping my ships my interest in both of those things is, I think, very narrow and specific compared to most people who are into them? due to my habits being like. very particular

[unicornofgt]

alright, i have come to the decision i am keeping this blog up as an archive and leaving the gt tumblr community for the foreseeable future.

when i made my post about chamomile-g-tea’s damaging treatment of my story, gtms, my goal was to acknowledge the situation so i could hopefully move forward and restore gtms/my blog as mine again, without her influence. and while i anticipated backlash, some of the responses were just...downright disturbing. lots of comments echoed a victim-blaming sentiment that i am responsible for the emotional and creative damage done to me by another person because ‘why didn’t you just say no or tell her to stop?’ not only does this ignore the several attempts i did make to express discomfort and set boundaries—which were not respected—but even if i didn’t manage to express a ‘no’, that doesn’t make what happened ok; it doesn’t erase the year of crippling pressure and guilt i lived with and still struggle to shake daily. realizing that so many people in this community think otherwise is just...disturbing. it’s disturbing. that’s the only word i can think to use.

the response to all this does not make me feel safe being here—that’s what this situation has unfortunately showed me: that the audience i hoped to allow to view my reclaiming process would also contain the same crowd who make me feel so unsafe—and why the fuck would i let those people see something as personal as that? why would i let them see anything? it’s made me understand i can’t continue to heal myself and my writing if i am posting it for other people, especially harmful people. and even though it turned out this way, i’m glad i gave it a shot; that i made that post as an effort to see if it was even possible or worth it to restore this space—even if the answer was no! absolutely fucking not!—because it saved me from even more time spent sharing my work with people who do not respect me as a person or a creator. i’m glad i tried, however much it sucked, because it allowed me to understand: it is not just one person in this community i feel unsafe with, but a solid percentage of the community at large that i just cannot healthily engage with, and no amount of blocking will fix that.

but of course this is not the only situation that showed me this community’s true colors—the dismissive or outright aggressive response to the calling out of racism in our tropes has also been deeply disturbing. to clarify, there is no problem in identifying with and finding comfort or catharsis in problematic tropes such as the pet trope, but there is a problem with using that comfort to make others feel unsafe and speak over people of color. and the solution to this trope problem is very simple—generally apply critical thinking skills to the media you enjoy, and tag your shit properly (dead dove, particularly when the giant owner/abuser doesn’t face consequences and/or if the abused/abuser fall in ‘love’—dead dove is not actually currently used in this community, that’s the problem). but rather than taking this as an opportunity to listen and improve, it was instead used as a chance to lash out at and make clear that poc are not welcome in this community and come secondary to the feelings of white creators and readers.

over the last few years, this community has fostered and been exposed for bigotry such as terfs, ableists, racists, etc, and especially in the current political era, this is no longer a community i want to share my work with or even just lurk in. and i know on the surface this community seems progressive, but take a better look and you’ll find members of the community doing and saying…questionable things, or keeping quiet and enabling their friends who do and say questionable things because they would rather be passive and polite than be genuinely kind and compassionate through active accountability.

of course this is the risk you take interacting with any person ever—but it’s especially taxing to look around at such a small, close knit community you know is riddled with these problems and wonder if the people making innocent posts are actually harmful; if they prioritize their comfort over the safety of marginalized people, if they even see you as a full person, and for me, personally—if they are willing to overlook consent to blame you for your trauma and defend the person who inflicted it. it’s taxing to explain basic basic concepts to strangers over and over in a place that prides itself on being a safe space, where people just have fun and mentally escape from irl hardships. it’s taxing to ride out shitty, hateful treatment when you are just simply one person (voluntarily providing free services btw) with only so much energy and fucks to give. it is not worth the strain it puts on you as a person, nor is it your responsibility to sit there and accept it, and i am not the only creator in this community who feels this way. we are fucking tired.

quite simply, this is not a community i feel comfortable participating in or sharing anything with. and that’s a shame, because there are wonderful, creative and caring people here who i have enjoyed sharing this space with, and maybe someday i’ll give this community another chance, but currently it’s just not worth the time of day. and i want to make it clear: my leaving is not simply because of just one person or just one situation—that i could handle—it is the community itself that is the root problem; that continues to be harmful, in multiple contexts—that is the reason why i and several other creators are leaving for greener pastures and more enjoyable communities—or just simply for a fucking moment’s worth of peace, because lord knows you won’t find it here.

[notebooknonbinary]

when Mike and Will are in first grade, they attempt to run away. This is spurred by two things: Lonnie Byers’ general presence, and the boys’ current favorite book series, the Boxcar Children. The thought of living in a train car seems super cool to them, and since they live so near to train tracks, they figure that there must be an abandoned train car or two somewhere nearby. They begin trying to gather supplies—as discreetly as two six year olds are able to, which isn’t very discrete. Jonathan, age 11, finds out almost immediately. When he tries to convince them why it’s a bad idea, they—with their little kid logic—actually convince him to go along with it, at least for a little bit. With the condition that he goes with (after all, there’s an older sibling taking care of the kids in BCC, right?). He helps them pack a little better, maybe talks to Joyce about the kids going on a camping trip (to get away from Lonnie for the weekend), maybe implying (lying) that there will be Actual Adults there with them. And there’s no need to make excuses to Mike’s parents—Karen is pregnant with Holly and the whole house is focused on getting ready for the new baby. Karen will likely just think he’s at the Byers’ house. So over a weekend (starting on a Friday after school), Mike, Will, and Jonathan go exploring— looking for a boxcar or any abandoned train car—mostly looking along the train tracks. They eventually find the Junkyard—which the kiddos get excited about anyway (even Jon bc Boxcar Children was his book first shut up), so they proceed to search for hidden gems. They find a bunch of little treasures (a cracked but useable magnifying glass, an old working radio, and even a set of slightly cracked dishes in the trunk of one of the cars), but their biggest discovery is an old Bus. Jonathan tells them that, at least for tonight, it’s almost as good as a boxcar. Mike and Will immediately agree and the trio set out to make the space livable (to kid standards, at least). Set up their blankets and sleeping bags, etc. Jonathan reads to them (from the Boxcar children ofc). And the weekend goes along in a similar vein. The younger boys get homesick by Sunday morning, ofc, so they agree that the Bus can be Their secret place that they go to sometimes. Like the boxcar in the Children’s backyard. (And then Jonathan forgets about it after a while bc I completely forgot about the whole bit in S1E7 where they’re trying to find the kids—won’t remember til they go to pick up the Party and then Jon will want to hit himself for forgetting. The rest of the Party (once they become friends) don’t know about it. It stays a Mike and Will thing—until the Bus is p much destroyed in S2 RIP Bus). Joyce never finds out. (At least not for a v long time—maybe it’s one of the memories Mike uses when Will is possessed by the MF) Not about This run away attempt anyway.

Will tries to run away the second time when they’re in fourth grade. Again, mostly bc Lonnie Byers and his A+ parenting. And plus Will thinks one less child might make things easier on his mom. By this time, Lucas and Dustin are their friends too (and thus voices of reason, bc Mike is an enabler who probably immediately offered up his basement). So they’re talking about it—going over the pros and cons (Mike is still advocating for his basement), but Karen happens to overhear and it’s immediately Game Over: Joyce is told. She is, ofc, devastated. And they have a long talk about how much she would miss him if he were gone (ouch I hurt myself😃). So that’s the last time he actually tries to run away (Joyce gives brief thought that that might be what’s happened at the beginning of S1, but with the confirmation that Mike is Not in the Know, she thinks it’s v unlikely).

(And then during/after the divorce, if Will wants to run away, he either runs to Mike’s house to spend the night, or he runs to Castle Byers… He runs to it in the Upside Down. He runs to it after his possession has been lifted—as his friends (Mike) begin to pull away. And, after a Fight with Mike, he runs to it one last time…then there’s no longer any place in Hawkins Will can run away to.)

When they move to Lenora, Will thinks about running away back to Hawkins. He doesn’t go through with it though, because Mike hasn’t really been responding to his letters, and thus there’s no one to conspire with. Plus, with El, he doesn’t want to leave her alone. She’s quickly become a sister to him, and he knows (even tho school sucks for her), she likely wouldn’t want to run away from Joyce and Jonathan—considering she already lost Hop.

Once Will and Mike get together post-whatever happens in s5, Will tells him about almost running away to Hawkins (to Mike), and, it turns out, Mike had almost the exact same thought (esp when he couldn’t come for Christmas). Like he told Will during SB, Hawkins isn’t the same without Will there. They talk about ‘running away’ from Hawkins after they graduate high school—basically going to college out of state. “It’s not really running away if I’m with you, though. You’re home.” Michael Wheeler is full of cheese.

[qkmlh]

Not Ao3 going down when a fic I’m obsessed with finally updated

[jojo-lane]

~COMMISSIONS OPEN~

Now that I have my account back, I am opening commissions! 6 more slots are open if anyone is interested. Just know that I won't draw anthropomorphic characters or anything NSFW.

Inbox me for more details.