#savannah ( mindset )

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hii, I'm glad you're back . Even if it was for a few days you really left a place in tumblr not just for your work but for your presence itself.

I had a question for a while and I'm sorry if you answered it before and I seemed to not notice , if that's the case then forgive my ignorance but I was wondering , since sebek seems to respect his grandfather alot and has inherited the hate for humans from him and it's a known fact in self-aware au that the faes 'love' the overseer alot I must say.. does that mean that sebek also inherited his 'love' for the overseer from his granpa? If so how did green grandpa see the overseer, what made him 'love' them and how does he show it .

If you don't want to write this then feel free to ignore it , hope you have a great day and don't forget to drink water and eat well<33

Hi there Anon. It's so sweet of you to say that. I didn't think I would have made such an impression on anyone. But I completely forgot to write about Sebeks grandfather -_-

Well, better late than never.

Self-aware au

WARNINGS: Jp-version spoiler (like, the whole thing!!!), (Platonic!) yandere themes, war, religion, unhealthy mindset, isolation, unhealthy family dynamic

(Platonic!) Yandere headcanons

Ah yes, our local way too loud and loyal member of the reptilian family. No need to to worry about him. I mean, what could go wrong? (Hehe…)

Baul was not from the Valley of Thorns. Growing up in Sunset Savannah he did not grow up with the beliefs of the Faes (in other words, he was not part of a religious cult)

So imagine the huge shock he felt when he finally became a solider under the Draconia banner and started to become more and more like the other Faes

Well, for starters, yes, he wasn't indoctrinated into the whole church thing since birth but also wasn't raised to see you as an equal like the beastmen of the Savannah

You could say that he was a healthy mixture of both

Emphasis on the “was”

You see, isolation and being the only one sticking out (if we discount the humans invading the valley) does leave you open for a lot of things

If we count two (being the surroundings he was in) and two (his more or less unnoticed loneliness) together, we can see pretty fast where that led

Never mind his superior (and friend I mean come on they might as well be brothers) Lilia constantly rambling about the Overseer, savior of all, and how you accepted everyone in your kind embrace

Ok. Nice. Neat. Great. In the beginning, Baul wasn't very interested in joining any kind of religion

But the longer the war held on, the more he wished there was someone he could ask for help in his task of protecting those he deemed close to himself (you see the generational pattern?)

At some point, even the proudest of all can't hold on for forever

So he turned to you, the supposed God that was on so gentle

And goddamn that religious gaslighting and placebo effect worked damn well

Not only did he feel like there was someone there who supported him from somewhere in the universe (even though that was just him believing too much but let have him have some hope, ok?) but also he finally had a community

Whenever he would leave one of the many churches in the valley a Fae would approach, thanking him for protecting their home

Sooner than later did the former non-believer think of himself as your chosen shield of the valley

The war came and went away

If only the same thing could be said about Bauls new religious beliefs

And when he saw that grandson of his, cute little chubby hands that gripped a wooden toy sword tightly, he knew that his position as the valleys shield would not cease

Yes, even Baul would die one day. Fae or not, he was at the end of the day mortal

But that talent of his grandson would surely be of use to you, right?

If his younger self would see him like this, would it run away? Would it feel disgust at the thought that his future self would use his own grandson for selfish, religious reasons?

If only Baul knew that “God” didn't even know they were living beings that existed in a different world…

[liyaauhr]

I think one of the beautiful aspects of the SBG friendship is the fact that it was formed (as far as we know) purely by chance. If it weren’t for Aiden forcing his way into Ashlyn’s house and practically weaselling her way into his life, convincing her to go on the Savannah trip with the rest of the group resulting in them getting sucked into the phantom world and spending days together, then all of their lives would have been unchanged. And tbh, when you observe at all their home lives and attitudes before Savannah, I don’t think that would have necessarily been a good thing for all of them.

And it’s funny to think about how they would’ve continued their lives just walking past each other in the hallways on the way to class.

Red actually confirmed this herself:

Ashlyn would have assumably continued her life without friends, which in a lot of cases can be extremely isolating and don’t work out in the long term. It’s a hard mindset to break out of and would have made it harder for her to understand others.

The term ‘loners’ applies to all of them because no matter the social status, they were all alone.

Logan was a victim of bullying, cornered by people and having his kindness taken advantage of to the point where he felt worthless with insignificant contributions. If it weren’t for his friends, he would’ve never stood up for both himself and his bullies’ next victim and just look at how much of a badass he’s grown to be! They gave him confidence and a purpose, he knows his role in the group and helps Ashlyn with strategising, he’s got friends now and he’s not so lonely anymore.

Taylor and Tyler Hernandez are pretty implicitly stated as popular, you can see it in panels where they’re constantly surrounded by a large group of people, not to mention Tyler being a jock. But being surrounded by people doesn’t necessarily make you less lonely, the two have only ever had each other in their lives. Tyler was never able to have fun because he was too busy caring for his mother and sister while still trying to get a sports scholarship for university and Taylor watched as her twin began to load too many weights onto himself. After the Sorrel Weed house, Tyler and Taylor began to open up and have fun, for once they were both finally able to have people to rely on since the death of their parents.

Aiden had been travelling around and meeting people who he knew wouldn’t stay in the end, how could they when not even his own parents could? I think it’s pretty implied that Aiden’s parents were pretty neglectful and emotionally unavailable, being described as away on business trips and unaware of his low point in life. He also couldn’t make friends that would last because they moved so often (which I can only imagine how lonely that could be). It’s also pretty implied that Aiden’s untethered a major adrenaline seeker, reckless and uncaring of the danger he puts himself in.

Yet once he saw Ashlyn upset over his death, he had finally found a motivation to live again and with his friends, days aren’t suddenly spent alone anymore.

It was also by chance that Ben Clark ended up moving in with Aiden’s family and due to messed up reasons at that. His dreams of singing were forcibly taken from him leaving him with unmanaged anger and building resentment, his situation was so traumatising to the where he went mute. Losing the one thing you love and are good at is a visceral pain, something he’s been holding in for years.

Then he meets Aiden, he trusts him and follows him around and sort of became comfort blankets for eachother.

So funnily enough, I think you can credit Aiden for being the reason they’ve all met now.

By pure coincidence, Ashlyn got placed next to Aiden. By pure coincidence, they ended up on the same bus. Now, they’re all roped into a phantom realm together but at least they have each other and I think there’s something really beautiful about that because without even meaning to, they’ve made such a huge impact on eachother’s lives.

Without the phantom realm, they would have had normal lives unharmed but would they have been fulfilled?

(Can you tell I’m a sucker for the found family trope?)

[a-twistedheartslonging]

So like i was just zoning out when suddenly my brain had a thought about That post you had about nonhuman au Leona headcanons and how he'd sit there waiting for you to hop on him cause he's used to the more aggressive and forward Savannah women. I just imagine him laying there peeved that you're not reenacting a bodice ripping scene with him and he's just like

">:[ my shirts unbuttoned and my ankles are out why are you not ripping my clothes off???"

Idk, my brain was half zoned out and it produced this thought and the idea of Leona, known local ass and machomacho sarcasm man utilizing the same mindset as a bodiceripper protag or victorian novelist, sent me into a fit of murmury cackling (i was trying not to do my usual gunshot level throw my head back cackle in the middle of nowhere so it got reduced to murmury chuckling)

That's pretty damn funny.

Like, he's actually kind of offended. 🤣 His meaty man tits are out and his ready to be ridden like the beast he is, why aren't you doing anything?

Oh gosh, him walking around shirtless, and when you look at him, he braces himself, expecting you to jump him like a freaky little sex monkey but you just blush and look away.

[tofics]

Broken - Chapter 5

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader

Summary: A year has passed since Joel and Ellie have returned to Jackson when he finds you on patrol, half frozen and half burning up. Jackson takes you in and nurses you back to health, welcoming you as the newest member of their community. The more time passes, Joel realizes that you and him have more in common than he likes… Until one day, everything changes and you get a gift that he’ll never get.

Word Count: 6472 words

Warnings: feelings of shame, mention of child death, developing feelings and the uncertainty that comes with that, crying, cuddling, and, at long last, fluff, fluff, and more fluff!

A/N: Brace yourselves, for this is the quiet that comes before the storm. This was so hard to write because the pain of the reader and Joel stands so much at the forefront and going into lighter, happier feelings beyond that requires such a drastic mindset change 😮‍💨 I'm pretty satisfied with the outcome though. I hope you enjoy! And, remember, come Friday, Aug. 16th, we're back on a regular posting schedule! 😊

Chapter 5 - New Leafs and Old Foes

"Hoooo, eaaaasy there girl, easy." The mare neighs nervously and raises on its hindlegs. You stop your movement, but don't retreat, instead digging your heels deeper into the mud. Opposite of you, Savannah, the stable's keeper, is mirroring your moves, struggling to stay upright in the slick mud as she tugs on the mare's reins. The animal comes down with a thump and sprays the both of you with specks of sludge as she neighs again, her panicked eyes flicking back and forth between you and your helper.

"Easy now, girl, easy." The calmness of your voice finally seems to register with the panicked animal when her eyes flit back to you and lock on you. Her nostrils flare and she shifts on her legs uneasily, but her hoofs remain on the ground. You gonna work with me, girl? You convey the question with your eyes, a silent exchange between the two of you. It takes a moment, but eventually you notice the horse's body language shift - the 'yes' you were waiting for.

The animal is still panting, but she allows your touch when you run your flat hand over her strong neck. "Atta girl." She snorts in response to your whispered soothing appraisals and you can't help but smile.

"What are you, the horse whisperer or something?" Savannah carefully slips the reins into your hand with a big grin.

"Call me Robert Redford, sweetheart." You tip your imaginary cowboy hat in her direction with a wink.

"Phew, she ain't half bad, hu?" Tommy whistles through his teeth and you turn at the sound, giving the two brothers a small smile and wave in response.

Joel just grunts, but smiles back at you with a nod of his head.

"Don't think I don't saw that." Tommys voice matches the foolish grin on his face.

"Don't know what you're talkin' about. Ain't nothing to see." Joel clicks his tongue and leads his horse into the stable, away from the paddock where your little show took place. Once they're inside his stallion's box, he takes off the saddle and the halter, placing both on their respective mounts in the stable.

"Hey, no shame in fallin' in love, brother." Tommy's voice drifts over from the box next to Joel's. "After all," - his head pops up over the barrier, plastered with the same silly grin as before - "wouldn't dream of judgin' you when I'm guilty of the same crime." He sticks his left hand in the air and pointedly twirls the golden band on his ring finger.

Joel snorts but doesn't shoot back. Instead he heads back outside into the fresh spring air. It's one of those days that make it look like summer, all sparkling blue sky dotted with fleecy clouds and warm sunshine, but set one foot into a shadowy area and you're back in winter, with wind that's still got a sharp bite to it and temperatures that'll have your teeth chattering.

Joel tugs his on the collar of his jacket as he approaches the paddock's fencing, trying to shield himself from the chilly breeze that blows past the stable's shadowy entrance. It won't take more than an hour, but for now, only one half of the paddock is glistening in the sun, the trampled mud and sludge sparkling in the warm rays where the rain water has collected in little pools.

"C'mon, baby, c'mon. That's it. Atta girl." Your voice dances through the air and Joel watches the latest addition to the stable trot alongside you with ease, the panic of just a few minutes ago seemingly forgotten. It doesn't surprise him in the least. Your lures are so sweet, not only by word but by sound, delivered in a soft and light trill that could fit right in with the chirps of the birds that are coming out more and more each day. 'Talk to me like that, and I'd follow you anywhere too,' he thinks and feels the immediate internal backlash.

For fuck's sake. Get it together.

Of course Joel knows what Tommy's talking about. He's caught himself in moments like these one too many times not to know. That doesn't mean he has to admit it, though. Nor does he have to like it.

It's been a long time since anyone stirred something inside of him the way you do. There was Tess - she and him had been partners, both in business and in bed, but there had been nothing romantic about it. What he had with her was different, more down-to-the-point oriented. In business terms, it was a perfect match. She was the social baseline to their partnership, yet no less ruthless than Joel. He sometimes admired her for it, how she held on to that part of herself that made her more human. He lost touch with that side of him for years and had no interest in rebuilding it, not until he met Ellie anyway. She's softened him and brought him back to life in ways he didn't think were possible anymore.

So perhaps it shouldn't be that big of a surprise that you do something to him. And you have, from the start. Joel's not one to care for other people's business unless it's somehow related to him, and yet, he has found himself wondering about you time and time again. You mostly keep to yourself, but you're amazing with Ellie. You seem to share his love for silence, but you can easily talk his ear off if he gets you going on the right topic.

But more than that - and perhaps, most importantly so - he sees something in you that reminds him of himself, in the most painful way. He can see you trying to hide it around Ellie, but your occasional shut-downs never go undetected by him. Thankfully, you haven't had any meltdowns since that one time, but there are smaller signs of when you retreat somewhere into the back of your mind. The smile on your face becomes less genuine, like a cheap knock-off version of the real deal. Your eyes cloud over and lose the vibrancy they usually shine with. And sometimes, your arm wanders over your chest and digs into your other arm, like you're trying with all your might to hold yourself together.

Those moments are the worst for you, as far as he can tell. He's found himself wanting to reach over and gently losen the grip you have on your arm, to hold your hand and let it squeeze him instead, but of course he doesn't. Joel doesn't think it's his place, or if you'd even want him to. He never asks. He doesn't know how. And it's pissing him off.

He feels like a goddamn teenager all over again, and those years are well behind him. Hell, he's currently got a teenager at home, he's got no business acting the way he does. But it's just like it was back then, all those years ago. You come into his proximity and boom. It's like he's on fire. His palms break out into a sweat and his heart is hammering in his chest. It's pathetic, the way your sheer presence sometimes reduces him to a sixteen year old hormonal boy, when his real age is twice that and then some.

Worse than that, despite being thrice the age of a teenager, he's apparently about as good at hiding his crush as he was back then. Thankfully, Ellie hasn't caught on to it - yet, she likely wouldn't let him hear the end of it - and as far as he can tell, neither have you, but Maria keeps looking at him funny and this isn't Tommy's first comment regarding you either. Leave it to his brother to rat him out to his wife.

Flipping his collar back down, Joel exposes his neck to the chilled air around him in hopes of it having the same effect as a cold shower. Lord knows he could need one.

You feel Joel‘s gaze on you before you spot him leaning against the fence, looking better than he should be allowed to. A faint memory of some women’s magazine’s article pops up in the back of your head, something about how the entirety of an outfit should never consist of just jeans, and yet you couldn’t disagree more. Dressed in a lined denim jacket and a pair of pants made of the same fabric, he looks more like a catalogue model than a failed fashion ensemble. The cowboy hat he's been wearing lately sits on his salt and pepper hair, rounding off the ensemble like a cherry on top.

"Howdy, partner," you call out and watch with satisfaction as a small smile plays out on Joel's face. He tries to hide it in the same way he often pretends not to be amused by Ellie's jokes, pushing his bottom lip out and biting down on it from the inside. Clearly he's unaware of how little it's working, or how terribly adorable he looks doing it.

"Mornin'," he replies when you've almost reached the fence, the remnants of his hidden smile still visible in the twitching corners of his mouth.

The mare behind you snorts uneasily and you take a step back to softly pat her neck, but your eyes stay on Joel. "Patrol all done?"

"Mh-hmm. Haven't seen you on patrol in a while." The way he says it, it sounds like an unspoken question, and you understand why.

When you had begged Maria to take you off patrol, she had agreed instantly, probably persuaded (and somewhat concerned) by the cascade of tears running down your face. "Did something happen?," she had asked, the question loaded with the unspoken add-on of 'with Joel' and you just shook your head no, a wordless workaround for the very lengthy real answer you didn't have the strength to give, nor had the right words for. After all, how could you explain that what had brought you to her doorstep wasn't a miss-step on Joel's side, but a melt-down on yours and the subsequent overwhelming shame of Joel not only having been a witness, but the one to have helped you through it? A 'no' was just so much easier, and even though Maria didn't look like she fully believed you, she took you off patrol and gave you the day off, with the reminder that you could come talk to her about anything, anytime.

The next morning, you were back on Tommy and Maria's doorstep, asking if you could be placed with livestock care instead. You were nowhere nearly fully-recovered, but shame and worry had driven you out of your house and back to theirs. You weren't gonna be a leech, living off of other people's hard work. No matter how low you felt, you were determined to contribute to this community - preferably somewhere that wasn't right next to Joel. Tommy was eyeing you suspiciously, concern written all over his face, and a vague memory of him showing up behind Joel's house while you were 'chopping firewood' popped into the back of your head. The blood rushed to your head and painted you a deep shade of red, but you withstood his gaze regardless. Not a day later, you started at the stables. You haven't been back to patrol since.

"Remember how you said you thought I would be working with the animals, given my background on a farm? Well, turns out you were on to something. I didn't know how much I missed it until I was right back in it." You smile at him and try to ignore the feeling of guilt that's trying to take hold in your stomach. Even though you know you don't 'owe' Joel an explanation, the last thing you want is for him to be thinking you're avoiding him.

Especially if the opposite is true.

You're thriving in your new job placement, there's no denying that. You can't even really take credit for the idea either - it was simply the first thing you could think of in the heat of the moment, a fluke, really, but in a weird, cosmical-fate-kind-of-way, it looks like your abrupt change of profession has landed you exactly where you need to be. The work has a sense of familiarity about it that - for once (miraculously) - doesn't bring about pain. Instead, the smell of hay and manure takes you back to your childhood farm's stables, and so many of your daily tasks come naturally to you, your hands seemingly moving on their own accord through muscle memory. Sure, it's far more labor-intensive than any of your patrols have been and a lot smellier - most days, you come home covered in tiny flakes of straw and various spots of god-knows-what on your clothing, reeking of manure, wool and hay, but you don't mind. Somehow, feeling the day's work in your bones and carrying the evidence of your labor on your clothes helps you feel a sense of achievement at the end of a day, something that you didn't have on your patrols. On top of that, the body-intensive work seems to be a tremendous help with your insomnia: more often now than not, it takes you a lot less time to fall asleep. From all of your job's perks, this might just be your personal favorite.

There is only one downside to your new work arrangement, and ironically, it's the very reason you ditched patrols in the first place:

You don't get to see Joel as much as you did before.

You only managed to avoid him for a couple of days after the 'incident' before he tracked you down and set you right. It hadn't been enough time to properly work through the aftermath of your meltdown, so even though he made a point of saying you had nothing to be embarrassed about, shame and guilt stayed glued to you for days, despite your various tries to rid yourself of them. They were most present when he was present, a walking and talking reminder of who you'd bared your insides to in one of your weakest moments, and you found it easier to work through your feelings when Joel wasn't around. Your new job came in quite handy that way.

And then of course, there was that kiss on your forehead that you kept and keep thinking about, no matter how much you try not to. It added to the pile of feelings you had to sort through, spicing up the mix by adding very conflicting emotions.

On one hand, thinking back to the gentle gesture makes something tiny flutter in your belly, a sensation you're not sure you've ever truly felt before. Sure, there have been men in your life, but most of these arrangements were just that, arrangements, a means-to-an-end, an offering of yourself in exchange for safety or food. By some miracle, your life in Jackson has no need for arrangements like that. You still have your doubts about your safety, although that's more of a general concern that applies to the safety of Jackson as a whole, rather than concerns in regards to specific members of Jackson. Men are no longer a double-edged sword that can provide safety or be what you need protecting from, they're suddenly an option. It's a concept that is entirely new to you and that you weren't thinking about in the least, until that goddamn kiss on your forehead.

That kiss has opened up a world of possibilities you never previously had the luxury of even thinking about, and now, you can't stop thinking about it. It's come to a point where you only have to be in Joel's proximity to feel that tiny flutter in your belly. It's both delightful and entirely terrifying, so much so that you find yourself in a constant, sometimes overlapping loop of wanting to be close to Joel and wanting to get as far away from him as possible.

"Yeah well, I get it. Might've won against one horse, but an entire farm's worth of livestock? I can't compete with that." There's a glint in Joel's eyes, a small playful twinkle that creases the corners of his eyes and tugs on his lips and you can't help but laugh.

"Oh, don't sell yourself short now. You could've taken on two horses easily, maybe even three. It's the cows that are my weak-spot. You never stood a chance against those."

Joel's hand dramatically clutches at his chest as if you just delivered a blow to it. "Oof. Did what I could, though. Gotta know when to quit."

There it is again, that little flutter in your belly as you giggle and hit his arm playfully. It warms your belly and sends warmth up into your nose, your cheeks and your ears, even your hands and fingers. The skin that touched his jacket on impact is tingling and you suddenly have the strange urge to lay a hand on the jeans material again, though this time more softly and not in a rushed smack.

The impulse is so bizarre to you that you quickly withdraw your hand and tighten your clutch on the reins again. "Better get this lady inside her box. She's had quite the eventful morning."

The town hall is already bustling when you arrive. Although town meetings are open to everyone in Jackson, attendance isn't required unless you've been summoned, so the audience usually consists of Jackson's adults, with just a few of the kids and teens here and there.

Tonight is no different. As expected, quite a few seats are already occupied, but some of the backrows still have some free spots. Just when you choose one - close to the aisle, and, conveniently, close to the back exit - Evelyn claps her hands together. "Okay, let's get started, everyone." Just like any good classroom back in the day, everyone quiets down quickly until you can only hear the occasional foot shuffle or coughing.

"Thank you. I hereby declare this town meeting open. Gary, it's your turn." Evelyn takes her seat in the half-circle that's positioned so it faces the crowd and motions towards one of her neighbors.

Town meetings always follow the same structure. Someone on the council opens the meeting by giving an overview of the last month. This includes all kinds of stats: how that month's harvest went, animal count, town incidents (if any took place) or patrol reports about infected sightings or run-ins with raiders. Presumably, this is also the segment in which they provided updates about your health, back when you first arrived in Jackson. As far as journalism goes, this is the closest to a news source that Jackson has.

The news segment is followed by the 'open floor'. For this part, people can bring forward their nuisances that they were unable to resolve on their own. Just like the town meeting itself, this segment is open to every inhabitant of the town, council members included. You have yet to see a serious issue be brought up for this segment, but that speaks for the town's conflict management. Most people hash it out between themselves, and if anything does land in front of the council, it's typically something small or petty, like a drunken dispute or a missed shift.

The last item on the agenda tends to be the most interesting one: pending tasks, jobs and missions.

As with any town, small tasks and jobs can come up that are out-of-the-ordinary or temporary, yet no less urgent or to be overlooked. According to Joel, this is where they sometimes offer special rewards, depending on the appeal of the task. So far, there has been nothing in this segment that's caught your attention, but this part always has you on high alert.

You lean forward in anticipation as Tommy reads out a few smaller tasks that need to be taken care of, waiting for a good catch for yourself.

Surprisingly, you don't have to wait very long.

Joel's not a huge fan of town meetings. They tend to bore him, but he attends them anyway, mostly for Tommy and Maria and because it's good to get updates about the town once in a while. For today's meeting, there might have been the additional motivational factor of you being there, but he tries not to think about that too much.

Joel comes in as one of the last people. Most seats are already taken, but he doesn't mind, preferring to stand anyway.

Although you sit with your back to him, he spots you almost instantly, the backside of you standing out to him as if someone's casting a spotlight on you.

The meeting drones on, and Joel only half listens as he's leaning against one of the wooden pillars. His eyes wander across the room periodically, taking in Jackson's people as they react to news and chatter amongst themselves occasionally. It's a good way to get a read of the room, a habit he picked up in Boston and hasn't been able to shake yet. Despite Jackson being relatively safe, he still feels the need to get a feel for the current mood of Jackson's inhabitants. Never know when things might turn sour.

There's no denial about where his eyes wander most frequently. Every time he catches himself, he averts his gaze and hopes you don't feel him staring holes into the back of your head, just to repeat the process a couple of minutes later. You seem pretty relaxed, judging by your body language, until it's Tommy's turn to announce upcoming tasks and missions. He might have missed if you weren't secretly the center of his attention, but he immediately catches the way you lean forward when Tommy begins to speak.

"As Gary mentioned, one of our cows passed away at the start of the month. We knew it was coming and we hoped she'd pull through the winter, and bless that girl, she did. Still, we're one cow short now, and that just won't do. We'd like to put together a crew of at least two people to scour the nearby towns and places we last knew to hold some cows, see if any of them are still there. Any takers?"

To Joel's surprise, your hand flies up almost instantly.

Adding to his surprise, he feels his own hand raising before he even knows what he's doing.

Tommy's mouth twitches as his eyes land on his big brother. "And it looks like we got two volunteers!" You turn around in your seat, following Tommy's gaze to somewhere behind yourself before your eyes lock with Joel's. Joel can see the surprise on your face and something else that he can't quite place, and for a second, he's worried he's overstepped. "Perfect. We'll hash the details out later in person." Tommy nods to you and then to Joel, still clearly trying to hide a smirk behind quivering lips. "Okay, moving on. Angelo's caught a cold, so we need someone to take over his shift at the school..."

Tommy's voice fades into the background. Your eyes are still locked on Joel's, the same unreadable expression on your face.

Done messed up now, Joel thinks and has the urge to bang his head against the wooden pillar he's leaning on.

But just then - miraculously - you smile.

Tommy keeps his instructions brief: checkout all last known cow-locations and only bring one back if the circumstances allow for it. You are not to risk your life for that of a cow.

He spends more time repeating that last clause than he does going over the initial plan.

"Do you have a history of saving cows or something?," you ask Joel on your way to the supplies shelter. He responds with something of a chuckle and a scoff.

"Just saying, sounded like he was particularly worried about you risking your life for a cow, of all things."

"Yeah? Who says that wasn't directed at you? Ain't me that's workin' in livestock after all." Joel looks at you with half a smile and you feel that little tingle in your belly respond immediately.

How am I going to survive an entire mission next to this man?, you think and feel the slightest pink seeping into your cheeks.

"Maybe, but he was looking at you the entire time. Am I gonna have to drag you out of there if we see a cow being attacked by infected? I'm just asking so I know what to expect, you know. To prepare."

His snort is paired with a slight eye-roll and you giggle like the little school-girl he makes you feel like.

Betsy gets the two of you sorted with all the supplies you could need. An assortment of ropes, fire-starting-kits, cans of food and a health-kit is already littered on the large table in the middle as she adds two small sleeping bags.

"Now Joel, I know you've been on runs before, so you know how this goes. Y'all can go over to the weapon's den and get whatever y'all fancy. This right here is to cover the survival aspect of it all." Betsy chatters along while she continues to pile supplies onto the table. "Y'all don't gotta take everythin' we hand out, but it's highly recommended that you do. I don't think I gotta say this, but whatever you use up is gone, so make sure you find spares unless you wanna be fresh out of somethin'. Wouldn't complain if you bring back a few extras of whatever I give you either, but it's not a must. I know what it's like out there. I'll just be glad when you two come home safe."

You nod along while you examine everything she puts out on to the table. This is worth gold. Everything you could think of is accounted for, and then some.

You can't help but think that some people out there would kill for a set-up like this. If people knew about Jackson...

"Okay, one more thing." Betsy walks into the adjoining room and returns with a packed up tent in her arms. "It ain't big, but I expect y'all won't mind that, 'specially with temperatures still droppin' below freezin' at night. I reckon y'all might wanna snuggle up, for warmth and all."

You feel the tips of your ears burning while the rest of your face hurries to catch on, coloring you a deep shade of red. Snuggle with Joel. Betsy might as well have suggested you could kiss for warmth with the way you feel about the suggestion. Awkward, definitely, but worse: excited.

Crap crap crap.

You discreetly glance sideways at Joel who appears to be looking anywhere at you, then becomes intensely interested in one of the backpacks Betsy is offering. It might be your imagination, but you could swear that Joel's ears look a lot more flushed than normally.

You start off into your mission early the next morning while it's still dark out. Tommy sees you off at the gate.

"Y'all got everything you need?"

The two of you nod.

"Good. Be back safe. Watch out for each other." Tommy gives a sign to the men manning the door and they crack it open just enough so you and Joel can slip through on your horses.

It's a misty morning and the damp cold seems to find every little hole in your clothing to seep through. Your breath comes out in puffy little white clouds and you thank yourself for having remembered your gloves.

Joel leads the way. Tommy had the route all mapped out for you already, although he agreed to alterations where needed. "The two of you have been out there long enough to know when to trust your gut. If anything feels off, feel free to adjust the route accordingly. Ain't no sense in sticking to a plan if it gets y'all killed," he'd said.

For now, you stick to his pre-planned route and head south-west. The first stop on your map, an old ranch called 'Spring Creek' is just two hours out.

Neither of you speak much during your ride there.

But instead of the awkward silence you were worried about, there's a mutual understanding of enjoyed silence between the two of you that you developed on your patrols together.

Spring Creek turns out to be a bust, which surprises neither of you. 'Lucky' is not really something that's in the cards anymore in this world, as you're both well aware of.

The next stop on the map is less than half an hour away, located not far of the bridge that leads over the Snake River. It's a gorgeous place, once a park and now entirely reclaimed by nature, with the first signs of game here and there, but not a cow in sight.

By the time evening rolls around, you've made it across the river and into what used to be Wilson. Supposedly, there's an old farm a little further out of town if you head west.

When Joel suggests that you save the ranch for the next day, you have no trouble agreeing considering how little daylight you have left. You let your horses trot along the highway until you reach the outskirts of town that's framed nicely by a small forest. Joel leads his horse off the road and onto the open field to where the grass meets the trees.

"Looks like pretty thick foliage. Ain't no getting through with these horses. I'd say we make camp out here. Foliage should have our backs covered nicely, and we got a clear view into each direction over the field. Whaddaya say?"

The light of your small fire dances across your face in the dark, flames leaping over your eyebrows and then cowering beneath your cheekbones, only to lick up the side of your skull in the next second.

Joel watches the fiery dance on your features and finds himself wishing he could be the one to caress your face instead of the flames, trailing your skin with the pads of his fingers the same way the light does.

Although the day's journey was uneventful, all of his senses are on high-alert. Your presence is like a steady hum in the back of his mind. It started out fine this morning, just the spark of excitement he's now used to getting when you come into his proximity. But it has progressed throughout the day, steadily gaining in size and momentum during the shared hours together. Whatever you do to him, it's pulling him towards you like a moth is drawn to the light. If you were a candle in the morning, by now, you shine as bright as the sun.

"Tell me somethin' about yourself," he hears himself say. You look up from the fire and meet his gaze, a lazy smile on your lips. "Like what?"

"Anythin'." Joel wants to know it all. You're the puzzle he can't piece together but can't put on a shelf either. He's tried, and not just once. He tried it after your first patrol together. He tried it after you became a steady guest in his house, bringing warmth and humor with you anytime you came. Joel stepped out of the fuzzy feeling you ignited in him every night, neatly folded it and put it on the shelf in the back of his mind where things go to be forgotten, only to find himself wearing it again the next time he saw you at the dining hall or at his kitchen table.

He can fool himself all he wants, but your presence brings out the truth in him regardless, no matter what he tells himself.

"That's a broad frame."

"I have a broad interest." In you. Joel doesn't add the words, but they hang in the air regardless, almost as bright and shiny as the fire between the two of you. Joel wonders whether you can see them as clearly as he can.

You smile again and fiddle with the zipper of your jacket while you think. "You already know most of it," you finally say and Joel almost calls out bullshit, because he doesn't, not by a longshot. His knowledge on you is filled with gaps, a cloze he desperately wants to fill.

"Then tell me something I don't know yet," he says instead. Questions are piling up on his tongue, but he's biting them down.

What is that sadness that fills you on some days?

and

Do you, God forbid, know the same loss I do?

He sees it mirrored in you, the desperation and soul-wrecking-pain that comes with the loss of a child. It leaves a special kind of imprint that never really goes away, just grows over a little bit, if you're lucky, but it's always still there. Joel's sure he sees it in you, that he recognizes your pain as his own and his heart breaks at the thought of it, of what he thinks you lost, of what he lost himself.

How can I ease your pain?

Will you let me ease your pain?

Joel watches you think again, trying hard to come up with something to tell him that won't reveal too much. He knows the look. He wore it himself for years, not letting anybody close enough to read between the lines.

"You know I had a kid?" Your head perks up and he can see your eyes growing wide in surprise, pupils large and dark.

"A daughter. Name's Sarah." He feels the sting in his chest that always comes out when he talks about her for the first time. It pierces his heart with the same relentless white hot pain, but his flesh is used to it and has adapted over the years. A thick lining of tissue has grown around the spot where the dagger pierces through his skin every time he opens his wound anew. It never truly heals, never hurts any less. It does, however, take less time for the pain to subside now.

Joel takes a few deep breaths as he waits for the pain in his chest to die down. He feels your eyes still trained on him and watching him closely.

"She died the day of the outbreak. A soldier... shot her." He has to press the words out so they don't get stuck in his throat and suffocate him.

A twig snaps and bursts and sends up a shower of sparks into the cold dark air. Joel stares into the fire and waits for the pain to subside as another dagger pierces his chest.

It takes a while for his words to sink in. They bob around of the surface of your consciousness, like paper ships freshly put on water. You watch as they slowly grow heavier and begin to sink, the full weight of his words hitting you more with each word that fills up and eventually sinks to the ground of your mind where you finally grasp their meaning.

He lost a child.

Suddenly it all makes sense.

The way he sometimes looks at you with a sense of understanding that you've never been able to place before.

The way he took care of you on the day of your outburst, no questions asked.

You and her, you got the same kind of twitchy. Tommy's voice echoes in your skull and your vision blurs.

You realize you're crying.

The tears spill out of your eyes before you can stop them, a testament of your own pain, understood in the most horrible way.

You cross the fire in two big strides and fall to your knees in front of Joel where you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his shoulder.

You hold him tight, hands digging into his jacket in an effort to pull him as close as possible, while your tears soak into his shoulder. And then his arms wrap around you in return, holding you with the same feverish intensity that you're holding him with.

"I am so, so sorry," you whisper against his jacket when your tears have dried up enough for you to speak. His answer comes in the form of a kiss on the top of your head, and despite the situation, a shower of warmth rains down your spine from where his lips met your hair.

"I wish I could've met her."

"I wish you could've met her too."

The longer you keep holding on to each other, the more the tenseness leaves your body. The pain lingers, a dull throbbing sensation in your chest that is just all too familiar, but your muscles slowly loosen and you begin to melt into his embrace.

It feels almost shameful, finding pleasure in something that was born out of something so gruesome.

Joel detects the way you slowly wind down and allows himself to run a thumb over your back in small circles.

He holds you and is held back in the dancing light of the fire under the stars until the fire burns down and wishes this would never end.

Maybe he's been through enough. Maybe he's finally endured enough pain for a lifetime, because for once, the universe grants him his wish, and it doesn't end.

When he feels you snaking out of his embrace, his heart drops, his body already missing your touch where it pressed against him, but before he can mourn the moment, you're extending a hand to him.

You lead him into the tent, and his head is spinning, swimming with possibilities that seem too faint and outrageous to even reach before you open up one of the sleeping bags and slip inside, motioning for him to join you.

It takes a moment, but eventually, your sleeping bags are joined up into one large one. Joel's a broad man and sleeping bags are a tight fit on him as is, but with you pressed against his side, he could be getting strangled to death for all he cares.

You settle against him with your head on his shoulder and one arm wrapped around his belly and Joel feels like he's dreaming. He has half a mind to voice his concerns - "What about taking watch?" - but then your finger touches his lips and he ascends to heaven, the first man to be alive and knocking on heaven's door at the same time. "Not a single soul around all day. We're good," you whisper and lay your hand against Joel's cheek, where you draw the same slow circles he drew on your back earlier.

Maybe Tommy's right, is the last thing Joel thinks before he falls asleep. Maybe there's no shame in falling in love.

Series Masterlist - Mobile Masterlist

Feedback is always appreciated! If you have any requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm always happy to practice my writing! :)

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[b3achysurfur]

ANALYSISSSS TIMMEEE

Call me a reacher, but actually I’m a preacher. About to make y’all learn this lore like I’m your teacher. I don’t care if you get dreary, y’all gon hear this theory.

I know y’all want the paper crane cult to be evil , but I think it’s the other way around tbh. the cranes probably aren't bad people, they believe what they're doing is correct.

They also have a reason to do what they are doing (or at least they think they do). Not sure exactly what it could be, since non-fastpass literally have crumbs of info on them, but the way I see it is they have a “being mean to be kind” mindset.

Don’t get me wrong, they know turning people into phantoms is a horrible thing to do. They are aware their actions are harmful, both through self-reflection and outside opinions. But I believe their organization is either going to end up being the lesser evil or it’s a selfish sacrifice for a greater goal.

When I say “outside opinions”, I’m referring to the other two groups currently working against (?) the paper crane cult. At least one of these mysterious groups is trying to shut down everything the cranes are doing. The other one’s goal can be anything tbh. They might want to take over, they could know the folklore behind phantoms and are more knowledgeable than the cranes are. Regardless, their interference is obviously not helping the cranes which is why they are in hiding.

Also, since we’re on the topic, I don’t believe the ‘stunt pulled in savannah’ had anything to do with Ashlyn and the main cast. We’ve been told that this isn’t the first time they’ve pulled people into the phantom dimension. So why would something they do constantly be considered a stunt?

The group is experienced enough to be able to predict the physical reactions the main cast’s bodies should be undergoing. But when things don’t go to plan, instead of revising their studies, they automatically understand that the children are anomalies. Them being anomalies is important for my next point.

Let’s go back to the basics. The cults symbol is a black paper crane. Cranes symbolize peace, while paper by itself represents newness, life, and growth. Together, this can be interpreted as a goal for a new era of peace and the recovery/growth of society. This could be the boss trying to come to peace with a situation of his past and his end goal of the phantom research is the only way he can cope/try to solve whatever happened.

But, paper cranes as origami can also be given a meaning. 1000 paper cranes are needed in order to have ONE wish granted. The origins of this belief tie back to prayers for recovery and good health. Which links back to my earlier statements about the goal of the cranes being to help something (society, the boss, a person of the past) recover or improve in health/ability.

Hear me out now. What if, instead of using paper cranes, the crane cult uses humans as their offerings instead? Say they need 1000 experiments in order to make a break through in their research of the phantom world. Remember earlier when I stated the main cast were anomalies? What if they’re experiments 994-1,000? Ashlyn, who fosters the closest connection to the phantom dimension out of everyone else, is the 1,000th person. She’s the specialist one, and she will be the breakthrough the cult had so desperately been searching for.

Going back to the orginally topic of the cult not necessarily being evil, there is honestly an odd amount of symbolism that surrounds the members.

In chapter 44, the boss stands at a window reviewing the situation with a member of the paper cranes. In the window, there is a sparrow sitting on a bare tree. This detail can be overlooking very quickly, but the fact it comes up in 2 panels and is the only thing in the window is odd.

So, after some research, I learned that sparrows are actually a sign of good luck! Furthermore, the sparrow is outside.

A sparrow leaves when a family member has died. People need time to recover after the death of a family member. Given my earlier points, are the dots connecting? Perhaps the boss has recently experienced a death (or someone important to him/he himself is very sick) and he is doing everything he can to restore their health. Even if that means others have to die and suffer in order to save them, or even himself. This would be the selfish goal I was talking about earlier.

Or maybe it’s not just one person who’s sick/dead. Maybe it’s society as a whole? The paper cult wants to save people from their own greed and division and make everyone harmonious and equal.

If everyone became a phantom, war and conflict would cease to exist. From what we’ve seen, the phantoms don’t attack each other. Unless they are working together, they completely ignore each other.

In the case that the cult is attempting to save us from ourselves, than wouldn’t that mean the organization is the ‘lesser evil’ I was talking about before?

The charater designs of paper cult members are also very important to this analysis/theory thing.

I don’t know his name, so I’m gonna call him baldy, but look at his piercings. He has two on his right eyebrow. In some cultures, this represents a rite of passage in someone’s life.

The three stages of a rite of passage of separation, transition, and the return. This process can apply to so many theories and events in sbg that I really don’t know which to pick for this post 😭. To save time, I’ll leave it up to the reader. But I’m always open to hearing everyone’s thoughts on this(even if it doesn’t have anything to do with this post’s specific topic).

Now, let’s look at jasmine. She was the funniest to research lol. Her double piercing is on her right ear. This symbolizes life at jeopardy or the prevention of a disaster. HELLO? This covers literally all of my ealier points in one go.

Her tattoos also are quite interesting to look at too. OKAYY so I’ve seen the theory about how this specific tattoo is actually these biggies and it does make sense. However when I was originally putting this analysis together, no one pointed it out yet, and I went in the opposite direction. It still applies to my connections though so.

Originally I thought this tattoo was a centipede, which symbolize good luck, healing, and energy! All three add onto my ealier points.

I’m not 100% sure what these are but it looks like smoke to me.

There are two different thing smoke can symbolize. It can hide a situation or cloud judgement. The clouded judgement could be the emotion that causes the cult to make their selfish sacrifices or our judgement of the cult and assuming their bad people without context (even though they’re kidnappers 😓). Smoke is also important in artworks and ceremonies that deal with sacrifices. In this case, the human sacrifices being used to further the research/domination of phantoms.

This tattoo of what appears to be a snake wrapped around a dragger or staff represents medicine and rejuvenation. It can also represent overcoming a challenge or fear.

I also find the quote, “snake shed their skin” interesting because in a sense when the humans become phantoms they’re shedding their skin and becoming a new being. Just saying 🤷‍♀️

I’m too lazy to write an ending to this long thread but hopefully you guys see the point I was trying to make. Yes I know I’m reaching but also it makes too much sense and I wanted to share. Anyways feel free to add onto this or disagree with it. I’m curious about other peoples perspectives on this!

[ladylooch]

Best Thing I'll Ever Do - Lio x Savannah (Part 1)

A/N: It is here!!!! Part 1 of 5 for Lio and Savannah's long fertility journey. Sorry in advance because y'all are gonna hurt with this one... and the next one.. and the next one... and, well you get it 😬 These parts will span over multiple years. Currently, Savannah and Lio are back together, but it's new.

Word Count: 5.1k

Part 2| Part 3 | Part 4 |

On a sunny day in Southern California, Lio Meier looks out the bus window, nodding his head to the beat of the song blasting through his AirPods. He is deep in his pre-game routine, ready to hit the ice for another battle in the greatest hockey league in the world. His eyes trail over the flat surface of the hotel lot, looking up at the blue California sky. It’s hot today, welcome compared to the snow currently falling on the East Coast. He feels the bus begin to rumble as the break is released, then glances towards the front of the bus as Hockey Ops director, Marc, comes towards his seat.

“Sup?” Lio asks, popping an ear bud out when it’s clear Marc wants to speak to him.

“Hey, Savannah isn’t feeling well. She’s staying behind to rest.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Lio frowns. “Thanks for letting me know.”

He hasn’t seen his girlfriend today, but that isn’t unusual for game days. She is busy working on game-day content with her staff and he has to worry about getting in the right mental state for the game. They had been texting earlier about a few things, actually work related, but she never mentioned she wasn’t feeling well. She must have started to feel sick after they both took their pre-game naps.

Marc heads back to the front of the bus as Lio pulls his phone out. He navigates into his messages to check in on her.

You okay?

Yeah, just not up for the game.

Okay. I’m sorry you’re sick, babe. Can I do anything for you?

Win 😘 I don’t need angry fans in the team DMs.

Yes ma’am. Love you 😘

He chuckles, then puts his phone back in his pocket. He pops his earbud in his ear and returns to his pre-game focus. 

By the time his skate blades hit the rubber mats of the visiting locker room after the game, Lio is on a high. Not only did the team win, but he had two goals and an assist. He was on fire tonight, flying through defenses, hitting his picked corners, and saucing ridiculous passes on the power play. He felt like he was in a little funk before this West Coast trip, but that all faded away tonight. He loves being on the road with the boys. And Savannah, even if she likes to tease him and keep him at an arms length so she can focus on her job.

Normally, Lio plays along well, but tonight he isn’t going to let her close her hotel room door on him.

Not because he wants sex. Mostly, he wants to cuddle with her and fall asleep together. Nights like this are rare, where they are going back to the same hotel and not catching a plane to the next destination. Instead, they are having back to back games against the Ducks and Kings.

Lio can’t wait to drill Luca into the boards tomorrow. Although, they don’t usually match up together, the boys have a tradition of finding the other in the first few shifts of the game. It’s a competition on who can hit who first. The two hockey players love it. Checking helps shift their mindset from brothers to opponents for the next 60 minutes.

Lio grabs two slices of pizza from the catering table, then makes his way down to the bus. He checks his phone, not seeing anything from Savannah, but plenty of texts from his parents and siblings. His parents are proud. His sister is reminding him he better not pull any shit tomorrow. His younger brothers are cheering about his top titty goals. There is also a text from Connor asking when he is back in town because him and Lucie are itching for a date night. He holds both pizza slices between his teeth so he can text Connor back right away. He misses Stella so much and knows Sav will jump at the chance to hang with her too.

Tuesday or Thursday this week works.

After texting Connor, he pulls up his phone app, clicking on Savannah’s name to call her. The phone rings and rings and rings, then goes to her voicemail. Lio clicks off the call, sending her a text instead.

Hey babe, we should be back in like twenty minutes. I’m gonna change then come up. No negotiations tonight 🤐

He smirks. He can’t wait to get his hands on her. Maybe let them wander over her curves, see what they can get up to tonight, but only if she is up for it.

The ride back to the hotel is quiet with most of the boys trying to wind down to go to sleep. Back to backs are brutal at this point in the season, so conserving energy and attempting to recover faster is important. Lio is one of the first ones off the bus, heading to his room and pulling on a fresh pair of sweatpants. He hangs his suit up in the closet, then gives his teeth a quick brush to remove the coating of gatorade and saliva on his teeth from the game. After, he heads up one floor to Savannah’s room. He continues responding to his dad as he walks down the hallway, slides gliding on the carpet below while his thumbs work on the phone screen.

He raises his hand to knock, rapping his knuckles against the solid door. He chuckles at his dad’s gif back to him of Swiss cheese when joking about the Kings goalie they face tomorrow. He looks at the door, surprised Sav hasn’t answered yet. He knocks again.

“Babe, it’s me.” He calls through the door. 

Lio puts his phone in his pocket, then stuffs his hands in each one. He shifts his weight from side to side, stretching out his hips a bit. They’re feeling tight after the game. He mentally reminds himself to stretch before bed. 

Lio pauses all his movements and thoughts, listening intently, trying to hear if Sav is walking towards the door. He steps closer, pressing his ear on the door. Of course he can’t hear anything. Instinctively, he tries the door. Of course it is locked. He steps back, double checking the plaque to the right that he is at the correct room.

“Babe?” He says louder. “I need you to open the door or respond or something…” He trails off, anxiety rocking through him. He knows something is wrong.

He pulls his phone out, calling her. He can hear her phone ringing close to the door. Then he hears the click of the lock. The door creaks slightly open. Lio sees Savannah on the ground, tear streaked down her face. Her face is pale and her body heaves with each heavy breath she breathes.

“Oh my god, baby.” He crouches down to her level immediately. He puts a hand on her cheek, feeling her skin. She feels fine. He moves his fingers to her jaw, feeling how clenched it is. Lio’s eyebrows furrow. “What is going on?”

Savannah whimpers. She is in complete disarray, crumbled clothes, hair fumbling out of her braid like she has been tugging on it endlessly.

“How long have you been like this, honey?” Lio whispers tenderly. His hands roam over her, needing to touch her but worrying about hurting her.

Savannah shakes her head. Lio pushes the door open, mindful of not hitting her legs. He works his way into the door fully, then cautiously picks her up. She shudders in his arms as he kicks the door shut. Her head rests on his shoulder, eyes screwed shut tight as she clutches her abdomen with coiled fingers.

“You’re in pain?” He asks. She nods vigorously. “Okay, I am going to call Doc up here.”

He gently lays Savannah on the bed. She immediately curls into a fetal position, moaning. Lio rests his hand on her thigh, rubbing along it in soothing circles as he dials the team doctor, Darius.

“Hello?”

“I need you to come to Savannah’s room. Something is wrong. 610. Please run.” 

“Okay.” He hangs up.

“He’s coming, baby.” Lio leans forward, brushing her hair of her face. “I’ll be right back.” Then he kisses her arm, before walking to the door to wait.

The elevator opens and Dr. Darius comes out with his bag in his hand. He runs down the hall.

“What’s going on?” 

“I don’t know. She can’t really speak, but she is in pain and holding her abdomen.”

“Okay.” Dr. Darius darts into the room, opening his bag. “Hi Savannah.” She looks up at him with fresh tears on her cheeks. “Can you give me a rating from 1-10?”

“Its a 9.” She wails. “I’ve thrown up three times. And I passed out in the bathroom.”

“Okay. What hurts?”

“It’s my Endo.” She grits out. “I have my period. I’m bleeding through everything too.” They both look down at Savannah’s pants, seeing the blood collecting on the fabric.

“Okay. We gotta go to the hospital.” 

“I know.” She says. “I just… c-c-can’t.” She grits her teeth again, screeching through her teeth. Lio feel this heart collapse in his chest. He has never seen Savannah like this. He doesn’t understand what Endo is or what is going on. All he knows is she is a tough woman and for her to be wrung out like this, whatever she is feeling is extreme.

“Can you give her anything?” Lio asks, feeling slightly sick to his stomach watching her writhe on the bed. Darius is holding her wrist, checking her pulse.

“No. We don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“She just said its… Endo… I don’t know what the is but it’s clearly painful.”

“We can’t give her anything. We will let the hospital take care of it.” Dr. Darius stands, walking into the bathroom. “Wrap this around her waist. Then I want you to carry her down to the lobby. I’ll grab Marc for the car keys and meet you down there.” 

Dr. Darius leaves the room. Lio turns back to Sav. She still lays in the fetal position, eyes closed, focusing on her breaths, trying to even them out even as the pain clearly keeps her rigid. 

“Hold on, baby.” Lio whispers, leaning down to kiss her temple. She reaches for his hand on her thigh, crushing it in her grasp. 

“Lee, don’t leave me.”

“Never.” He promises. “I’m right here.”

Lio keeps his promise on the way to the hospital where he sits in the back seat with her and then in the chair next to her hospital bed. Although they get a bed quickly, it takes forever for them to be seen in the ER. Eventually, Dr. Darius finds a nurse who he explains the organization they are with. Then, a doctor comes to see them in another few minutes.

After flipping through the chart and asking a few basic questions, then taking her vitals, he sighs and flips the stethoscope back around his neck.

“Well, you’ve had endometriosis since you were young. But with the severity of the pain, potentially an ovarian cyst burst. Do you have a history of that?”

“Yes.” Savannah says.

“Okay, well let’s get an ultrasound done and see if that may be the cause.” Savannah nods. Lio squeezes her hand, finally happy with progress being made to get her pain relief. 

The ultrasound confirms the cyst, it has burst, and Savannah should be feeling better after a few days. However, the radiologist warns Savannah there is significant build up of endometriosis in her uterus. Savannah stares blankly at the screen as the technician points to the areas of concern. 

“You will want to follow up with your primary care provider when you return home.” Savannah nods, then looks away from the screen, playing with the edges of the paper blanket that was placed over her lower half for the ultrasound. 

“What about the blood?” Lio asks the ER doctor when he comes back in to discharge Savannah.

“It isn’t significant blood loss to warrant further action. She may become anemic. Iron supplements will help. She will be tired for a few days while her body replenishes her supply, but nothing more to be done here.”

“Wait, what?” Lio shakes his head. “So she just has to suffer until her body creates enough blood. Why can’t you give her a transfusion?”

“Because other people have a greater need.” The doctor snaps back. Lio is taken aback. His mouth drops open in surprise, then he looks over at Dr. Darius like, ‘is this guy for real?’

“Savannah has been in significant pain for some time now. Can we get additional pain management prescribed for her as her body works on absorbing the cyst?” He asks. The doctor nods, tossing his notepad on the table.

“Any medication allergies?” He asks Savannah without looking up.

“No.” She weakly responds.

“Okay, this should be good then.” He rips off the note pad and extends it to her. She frowns. 

“Can I have something stronger? This doesn’t really work for me. It’s basically stronger Tylenol.” The doctor contemplates.

“The circumstances don’t call for anything stronger at this point.”

“Seriously? What the fuck is your problem dude?” Lio snaps. 

“And your boyfriend seems to have an anger management problem so I wonder if he wants you to get some pain pills for himself.” Lio puffs his chest out, trying to stand, but Savannah grips his fingers tightly.

“No.” She murmurs to him.

“This is very unprofessional.” Dr. Darius frowns. “Standard hospital protocol should allow for strong drugs in circumstances where patients have been in severe pain for over 8 hours, which she has. She was also give stronger medication than what you have prescribed here when she first came in and is now in a comfortable position.”

The doctor sighs again, like he’s so bored with this conversation and these three people, then writes out a prescription for a strong dosage. 

“Please follow up with your provider when you return home.” He calls lazily over his shoulders as he leaves the room.

Lio pops up, following him out of the room with Dr. Darius hot on his heels.

“Look, I’m sorry I got upset, but you’re not listening to her. This is not normal. She can’t breathe, man. You have to help her.”

“I am helping her. She has a diagnosis and needs to work with her primary care provider for a treatment plan. This is a chronic condition. Not an emergency.”

"So, that's it? You're just gonna leave her in that bed, pump her with drugs, and hope thats enough for her?" 

"Lio, let's go back in with Savannah." Dr. Darius encourages him. Lio stands there looking at the ER doctor with his hands on his hips. There are so many things he wants to say. He wants to grab that guy and throw him against the wall to make him hurt like his girl hurts. Then he can try to explain the differences in chronic versus new pain while he has a few broken ribs.

Ultimately, Lio scoffs incredulously and beings to walk back into the room. He looks at Dr. Darius. “We need to find her someone better than that asshole.”

Savannah has her eyes closed, slumped back into the pillows when both men come back through the door. 

“What a fucking prick.” Lio mutters about the doctor to Savannah.

“He’s pretty typical of the other ER doctors I’ve seen.” She mumbles. “They see worse than some fragile woman with an invisible illness.”

“How is it invisible?” Lio asks, eyebrows scrunched tight over his frustrated blue eyes. “He literally saw it on the ultrasound. We all did.” Savannah gives him a small smile.

“Women’s pain isn’t take seriously. Especially when it surrounds uteruses or vaginas or has anything to do with periods.” She sighs, closing her eyes and laying back in bed. “I want to go back to the hotel and sleep for a day. Like literally a full day.” 

“We can make that happen.” He murmurs, reaching up to hold her head softly. His thumb strokes across her forehead as his eyes drink her in, relieved that she seems to be pain free now. No thanks to that fucking asshat who just walked out of here. “You doing okay” He asks her. He reaches to her abdomen, adjusting the heating pad on her abdomen where it was sliding off without a hand on it. He rests his hand there gently, keeping it in place so she can stay in the position she is in. 

“Mhm. Good drugs.” She smiles without opening her eyes.

“I didn’t know cysts could form internally…” He trails off, still brushing her forehead.

“Yeah, and I’m extra special, getting them regularly. They don’t always hurt this bad though. Guess it makes sense with how much fluid and such was on the ultrasound. Must have been big.”

“I hate that this happens to you.” He sympathizes. She nods through a yawn.

“Lee, I am gonna sleep for a bit, okay? Wake me when I’m discharged.” 

“Okay, baby.” Lio whispers to her. 

Savannah falls asleep quickly with Lio’s soft hands on her. He watches every second of her slumber, ignoring the other noises and distractions of the ER. Dr. Darius works with the nursing staff on her discharge paperwork, then signs releasing her from the hospital. They get a sleepy Savannah in the wheelchair, fill her prescription at the clinic in the adjoining parking lot, then head back to the hotel. Lio carries his girlfriend back into her room. He drops her off in the bathroom, stepping out so she can clean up on her own. Even though he wants to help, Savannah asks for privacy. He understands; it’s been a long, raw day for her. 

Lio waits on the end of the bed, popping up when he hears the door click open. He wraps an arm around her, guiding her to the bed. He tucks her in with the new heating pad they grabbed for her at the pharmacy, then he tugs his shirt off to wind down for bed with her. It’s after 1am and he is dead tired- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Thankfully, Savannah doesn’t fight his presence. Instead she curls into him, sliding a leg between his so he can hold her as close as possible. 

“Thank you for saving me.” She murmurs. “I would still be laying on the floor if you didn’t come looking for me.” Lio frowns, then kisses her forehead. 

“I love you. I… want to talk more about what is going on with you. I should have asked before, but I didn’t realize it was this bad, baby.”

“It actually hasn’t been this bad in awhile.” Savannah confesses. “But the ultrasound confirmed what I had been thinking. The tissue has grown back and it is deeper.” She yawns loudly. “I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.” She confirms. “But right now, just hold me.”

- - -

 The next morning, Lio wakes up before Savannah. He feels like utter shit. Luckily with it being a back to back, there is not morning skate to take part in. But there is breakfast downstairs, so he peels himself out of Savannah’s grasp and heads down to the conference room to grab something to eat for both of them.

“How is she?” Dr. Darius asks when he sees Lio.

“She is still asleep. But was stable the rest of the night and slept through it.” He surveys the options, grabbing a bagel with cream cheese for Savannah and a breakfast burrito for him. 

“Good. I will come see her before we head to the rink. Determine if she should stay behind or not.” Lio nods. 

“Thanks. I would appreciate that.” Lio says honestly. Dr. Darius pats Lio’s arm.

“You took great care of her last night. She will need that consistently with her condition.” Lio is silent, grabbing a few pieces of fruit for his and Savannah’s plate. He can’t agree or make any sort of response to the doctor because truthfully, he has no idea about Savannah’s condition. Last night was a huge shock to him. He knew she had something from their previous, short term relationship and from what she communicated to him in Switzerland this past summer about likely being unable to have kids. But he has never seen her as weak and sick as she was last night. It was terrifying to him. 

“Last night… wasn’t normal?” He asks Dr. Darius as he grabs fruit right behind Lio for his own plate.

“Ah, it is hard to tell. I am unsure what her symptoms and the severity of her condition. I also do not specialize in that area. But in general, no. It’s not normal. She should be following up with her doctor after an episode this severe.” 

“Is this like a once a month thing?”

“Lio, I think these questions need to be answered by Savannah. Talk to her. Listen. Offer support where you can.” Lio sighs, ultimately agreeing. 

“Thanks again, Doc. For everything. Last night included.”

“Yes, please tell Savannah I will be coming up to see her later.” 

“Will do.” Lio nods, then heads towards the doors, away from where his teammates are huddling together at various tables. Usually, Lio would sit down and shoot the shit, especially with a quick turn around from the game. But not today.

“Meier, where ya going?” Beckett hollers to him.

“He’s got a hot date.” Tony snickers.

“A lil breakfast in bed?!” Carter joins in. 

The three rookies shut up and swallow hard at the glare Lio is throwing them. Lio doesn’t need to say any words; his message was delivered loud and clear. Lio carefully balances the two plates in his hands as he works the key card out of his pocket. He pushes the door open, looking around the corner to see Savannah up on her phone. 

“Oh, hi. I was just texting you.” She yawns.

“Sorry, you were out when I left. Should have texted you.”

“It’s okay.” She smiles. She still looks exhausted and weak. Lio frowns back at her, even as she hopes for a smile from him.

“Good morning.” He says, dropping a kiss on her lips as he places her plate in her lap. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” She sighs. “The drugs last night really helped.” 

“Are you still… bleeding bad?”

“It’s manageable.” Savannah says. The way she drops her gaze has Lio unsure if she is being truthful.

“Is it?” He asks, gripping her chin so she has to look at him.

“Yes.” She says, unwavering this time. Lio gently combs his fingers through the sides of her hair. He had pulled her braid apart for her last night before bed and her blonde locks are wild and wavy around her face. 

“Good.” He murmurs, then leans down for one more kiss. He lingers there, needing her lips on his more than the coffee in his hand. Savannah watches him after he pulls away and climbs onto the bed next to her.

“I’m sorry if last night scared you. I didn’t mean for that.” 

“Baby, you were going through it.” Lio shakes his head, unwrapping his breakfast burrito. “No need to apologize. That’s what I’m here for.” 

“You had a good game.” She tries to change the subject. Lio shrugs.

“Yeah, it was decent.” 

“Playing Luca tonight will be fun.” 

“Yeah.” He says after swallowing his first bite of eggs, cheese and sausage. “Wish the back to back had been Kings first then the Ducks so we could have spent time with him and Liv.”

“That would be nice.” 

Silence settles over the room as the two of them start to eat. Lio tries to pretend it is comforting silence, but it isn’t. He doesn’t want to push his girlfriend, but at the same time, he doesn’t understand how she is sitting here like last night was… normal. A worried shake rolls through Lio’s body at the thought. He looks over at her again as he finishes up the final bite of his burrito. 

“I would like to talk about last night.” Savannah slowly chews on a piece of pineapple. She grabs her coffee, taking a sip, then sighing heavily.

“Okay.”

“You don’t want to?”

“No, I do. I know I’ve been putting this off.” Lio watches as she puts her plate on the bedside table. He contemplates for a moment, wondering what to even say next. His fingers find hers in her lap, lacing together as they share a look.

“I’m not trying to force you into telling me things you don’t want to. I only want to support you. But I can’t if I don’t know what we are facing, babe.” 

“I know.” She reaches over, cupping this neck, rubbing her thumb across his jaw. “I love that about you. That you’re asking and curious and… scared for me.” She whispers the last part, eyes brushing over his lips. 

“It’s hard not to be after last night. I’ve never… seen or I guess noticed this with you from before?”

“It wasn’t like this before.” She answers, still watching his mouth. Her blue eyes meet his. “It’s gotten a lot worse the last year. I had to end my Europe trip early last summer because of it.”

“I don’t really understand what you have, babe.” Lio shakes his head. 

“I have endometriosis. It’s been in my family for generations. My mom has it. My aunt has it. My grandma had it. My two female cousins have it. And I have it too.” She shrugs. “It is abnormal tissue that grows in places it shouldn’t. It can completely enclose ovaries and fallopian tubes and implant deep into your uterus, getting worse with every period that you have.”

“Tissue?” Lio says, surprised. He was almost expecting like lumps or something after what happened last night. “But that isn’t what they said last night.”

“Yeah, so last night I have an ovarian cyst, which can be more common with conditions like Endo. I’m lucky to have multiple issues.”

“Okay… so what have you tried for treatment?”

“Um, everything. Including surgery.” Savannah shrugs, pulling her hand away from his. Lio chases her as she pulls away, sliding his hand to her thighs to grip it comfortingly. “I had surgery three years ago to remove a bunch of tissue and lumps called fibroids in my uterus because I was in the ER every two weeks from how bad the pain was. It helped for a while. We found a good birth control pill that helped calm down the growth of the tissue, but my doctor told me there was always a possibility it would grow back.” She sighs, whimpering slightly. “And it’s back.” 

“Baby, we gotta go see someone else when we get home. You can’t have nights like last night every two weeks. It’s not good for you and how are you gonna work? You’ve worked so hard to get here.” His voice waivers at the end. He clears his throat, licking his lips. “Let’s work with the team to find a new doctor for you, okay?”

“Lee, I don’t want you to use who you are for me.” She furrows her eyebrows.

“Babe, I do. I want to use my name and my status and the team to get you the best doctors on the East Coast. And I’m gonna do it. But I need your blessing cause HIPPA or some shit.” He squeezes her hand. “Please, let me do this for you. There is better out there for you and we are going to find it. Get you some longer term solutions than a few years, okay?”

“I am willing to try, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up, okay? If they tell me the same things…” She trails off. Suddenly, she looks way, towards the window, her bottom lip quivering beneath her top teeth where she has tucked it into her mouth. Lio brushes her hair back behind her ear. 

“You’re so brave, baby. I’m so proud of you and in awe of what you’ve been living through.” He whispers, rubbing her cheek. He leans forward, placing his lips there and kissing his way to her mouth. His tongue glides along the seam of her lips, urging her to open them so he can have his way with her tongue. Savannah whimpers into his mouth, running her hands up his chest to grip his shoulders. 

“Lee.” She whispers when they pull away.

“Hm?” He rests his forehead against hers. 

“My condition means it is extremely unlikely I can ever get pregnant. And… you should know that about me before we go any further down this road.”

“I know. You told me in Switzerland. I also told you I didn’t want kids.”

“Yeah, but that was before we were… this.” Her eyes stay down towards the bed, unable to reach his even as he pulls away to try and see her fully. She rubs the comforter between her fingers in both hands. Tear drops hit the bed on either side of her hands. Lio can see the pain in her body even as she tries to hide it from him. 

“Sav.” She shakes her head. A shakey breath is inhaled then a sob wretches out of her throat.“Baby look at me.” He reaches for her hand, lacing their fingers together. Savannah is crying, silent tears falling down her face as her bottom lip trembles so hard.

“I can’t.” Lio maneuvers himself to his side, then drops his head onto her hands still fiddling with the comforter in her lap. Two of her tears hit his face as they drop off her chin.

“I love you.” He pauses, letting those words hang where they must between their bodies. “All of you. Your whole body and soul and spirit, baby. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“Lee, if you want babies you should find someone who can give you that. This isn’t fair to you.” Her voice shakes as she sobs the words out to him. Her eyes screw shut. Lio’s heart churns in sync with her pain.

“Savannah, trust me, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I’m broken. You deserve-“

“You are not broken.” His voice is gentle, almost a silent whisper to match the tone of her voice. His hands hold both of her cheeks now, keeping her from collapsing backwards and away from him. She grips his wrists. Snot collects in bubbles out of both of her nostrils. Tears stain her pale cheeks as Lio’s heart shatters in his chest for her. “You are whole, exactly as you are right now.” She shakes her head no.

“What man wants a woman like this?” 

“A real one.” He responds, then pushes up so he can kiss any remaining doubt from her lips.

[heilos]

Hello! My name is Moriah and I am a junior in high school. I was wondering if I might be able to get your insight on a few questions I have?

I am in my final years of high school and am starting to think about college but I have no idea what I want to pursue. I know I love art, so for a long time I have been thinking about getting an art major or going to an art school.

I’m reaching out because I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR ART and I think you are a very talented artist! I have been in love with your art for so long and I am curious and wondering how you are able to fit drawing into your life?

1.) If you went to college for art, what was it like? Do you think going to school for art or having an art major is worth it?

2.) how can I fit art into my everyday life? I’m sure you have work and other things to do in your life so how do you balance it out? (I just want to know how you can draw as much as you do!)

3.) do you do art as a full-time career or part-time career? is it an alright source of income? If it is a part-time career, how do you balance work, personal life, and art?

Thank you so much! And sorry if these questions might seem personal. I just want to know how other artist manage to draw and create their work and still have an adult life. Thanks again, and thank you for being a huge inspiration in my life to create the art I love! Your art means so much to me!❤️❤️ ❤️

Hi Moriah! Thank you so much for your patience since it took me a bit to answer this. I'll do my best to be as honest as possible. 1) I think going to college can be beneficial even if I wish i'd done things differently. In hindsight I would have definitely taken more time to really look through all available options instead of gunning straight for the most "prestigious" looking colleges since the idea of having a big name school on your resume was pretty prevalent when I was growing up. I went to Savannah College of Art and Design or SCAD for short and while I don't regret the friends I made there, I do regret not understanding just how much an institution like that ended up costing in loans compared to what I got out of it education wise. It always hurts my heart to see other kids get chained to huge amounts of student loan debt that could have been avoided. And even then you don't necessarily need a college degree for every type of art job. Your portfolio is what really matters more to prospective work places if you're looking at a career related to art. I would also keep in mind that the field is very competitive depending on what your goals are. Do you want to get into animation? game design? illustration? comics? prop design, character design or environment design? ect ect. Always try and give yourself the best advantage you can with researched knowledge of what you might be getting yourself into. Also there is no rush to go immediately into college even if you're dead set on wanting to attend one. Please give yourself as much time as you need to really make that decision and, if you have the option, don't feel pressured into thinking you HAVE to make that choice immediately out of high school. 2) I do get quite a bit of production art done on my days off mostly since I'm very experienced in working on group projects like Mystery Skulls Animated. When you're doing art and production work with other people, there's a different mindset in that others are relying on you to keep decently productive so that you're not holding up the pipeline if you're dedicated to seeing a project through to completion. Now when it comes to purely fun art on the side, I've actually only recently started balancing my time out better with work to sketch since the draw back of working on a group project like this for so long is a certain level of burn out. I had about a 2-3 year period where I couldn't get myself to draw much of anything even if I was excited about something like a new game or animated series and it's taken awhile to come to terms with the time lost since my body and head needed that time to recover and that's something i'm much more ok with now. I'm not the absolute best on advice for time management unfortunately, but seeking out projects that might interest you and lets you collaborate with other artists is definitely one way to keep yourself excited and engaged when wanting to make art. Just know and/or learn your limits and you'll be better about not getting too burned out when trying to find that decent balance of art time and other life activities. 3) I actually don't do art full time even if that was originally the plan back in college. I personally found out that I didn't want to turn it into a job the closer graduation came, but that varies completely from person to person and plenty of up and coming artists have found fulfillment in having art be their job too. I used to make prints for conventions so that was a partial income source for a little bit, but again for me it got tiring and I ended up getting a different more physical job to supplement my income while still being able to have enough time to stick around with my friend group on our music video projects. And again there's no shame in taking some time in trying to figure out if you want to make art your job and coming to a different conclusion. Sometimes the things we plan when we're younger take a wildly different turn out of left field and education or job aspirations are very much included in that.

[thebettybook]

Leona character headcanons

🍓: I CAN’T SLEEP SO HERE’S SOME LEONA CHARACTER HEADCANONS + ANALYSIS. NOT EDITED, just my free thoughts.

🍓: I love this lion man so much; he deserves all the love and hugs and kisses and cuddles in THIS WORLD AND THE WORLD OF TWISTED WONDERLAND 😭🤧💖

🦁 Leona has an interest in a variety of subjects, but he is particular to botany. I think that since he didn’t have many responsibilities as a child and as the second-born-prince, he got to learn whatever he wanted on his own. He learned about botany from his family’s royal botanist and also from the books in the Kingscholars’ expansive library and archives.

🦁 Especially when his Unique Magic (UM) kicked in, botany and plants gave Leona comfort because they reminded him that even though his UM could reduce anything and anyone to sand (which still terrifies him), Leona is also capable of cultivating, growing, and nurturing things (like plants) with his hands without magic.

🦁 This is also why Leona prefers lounging and sleeping in the Botanical Garden a lot; not just because the Botanical Garden is a great hiding place from troublesome underclassmen and professors, but also the Botanical Garden is full of plant life that Leona finds comfort in.

🦁 I saw somewhere on Twitter that Leona has his driver’s/Magical Wheel license (it could’ve been a fan edit though, I’m not sure). Anyways, I feel like he finds driving tiresome because there’s maintenance you have to take care of when you have a car/vehicle, and such vehicles use up so much gas and contribute to pollution (even though this lion prince could have someone else do maintenance for his car and he can afford electric cars).

🦁 While driving does give Leona some freedom and give him some space from his family whenever he goes back to Afterglow Savannah for break, he still prefers Magift/broom flying over driving. Broom flying allows him to see everything from bird’s eye view and thus have an advantage over others (his survival instincts kick in). Plus, Leona can feel the wind in his hair better when he’s flying than driving. Broom flying makes him feel free, confident, and powerful.

🦁 I feel like even though Leona comes from a very privileged background, he also has a progressive mindset. He’s thought of and has formed plans inside his head of how his family can improve the socioeconomic inequality issues that plague Afterglow Savannah and that his family unfairly and ultimately benefit from. But everyone around him at home has always dismissed his ideas throughout his childhood, so Leona stopped trying to get people to listen to his ideas.

🦁 He still holds onto these ideas and plans, though, because he cares about his country.

🦁 Leona is SKILLED with technology and that is canon because I’ve seen Book 5 spoilers. Since he’s someone who’s canonically analytical, Leona probably likes figuring out how different technologies work and how he can use them to his advantage (because he knows that you can’t solely rely on your physical strength and magic).

🦁 As a kid, Leona DEFINITELY tampered with his body guards’ walkie-talkies for fun.

🦁 Last one for now but Leona definitely has a specific preference for shampoo, conditioner, and lotion scents. He doesn’t like overpowering or overly-sweet and artificial scents like vanilla due to his sensitive beastman sense of smell. Like, if you brought him to Bath and Body Works, he would sneeze and retch at all the different scents.

🦁 He’s a fan of lighter floral and earthy scents (tying back to his love and appreciation for botany). Since he’s also knowledgeable with chemistry and Potion Making in canon, Leona could definitely make his own perfumes or colognes and lotions if he wanted to.

I used “definitely” a lot in this post because I feel so strongly about my headcanons about Leona. 😭💖

I’ll add more of my Leona headcanons to this post if I come up with more later, but this is it for now! :)🍓

Update: Pt 2 of my Leona character headcanons and analysis here!

[gardens-of-may]

ENTRY THREE - chap. 50 to end

spoilers ahead

i don’t remember what happened 

yay

i know what happened tho

i’m not going to tell you 😋

suck it ha!

wakey wakey 

katharine hmm

A SCAVENGER HUNT?

WHAT

THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???

YES PEOPLE WHI ARE RACIST GO FUCK YOURSELF

AND MAKE JT HURT

WHAT

WXCUSE ME

WHAT THE HELL

saturday mornings

not a scavenger hunt then?

SYOP WITH GEB POV SWICTHSZ

i js realized both of the boys are dealing with their fathers

skye might be a pretty name but the human is actually vile

hmm

MY GID SAVANNAH

if gray hurts himself I WILL SUE

HAHAHA HIS HELLO THING IS THE CUTEST EVWR

IM GONNA CRY

CRY INTO MY BOWL OF INSATNT RAMBEN

ehehehe thomas thomas?

EW EW EW EW EW EWWWWW EUGH EW EW EW

EAHEHEJ SEE JDWB CSS EJR

WHAT THE FUCJ IS THAT BITVH SOING HERE

IM GOING TO FUCKING MILL HER

IT ACTUALLY THAT BITCH ISNT A PERSON

bitch…

YOU WILL BE FUCKING DEAD

AUGHHHH

THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND TIME GRAY HAS HAD A GUN PULLED ON HIM BECAUSE OF YOU

KYS

i bet IT sounds like a wet dog

but an ugly dog not a cute dog 

what the hell

LET ME JS EAT MY BROWNIES IN PEACE FOR GODS SAKE

no we no we NO. WE. 

AUGHHHH

bitch ☺️

KILL YOURSELT

she talks like she’s so wise and blah blah and respected but no

everyone HATES HER GUTS

DONT CALL HIM TAHT YOU ADRESS HIM AS FUCKING MR. HAWTHORNE OR SMTH STFU

you’re alone?

KILL YOURSELF THEN YOULL BE IN HELL WITH ALL THE OTHER DEMKNS

one

I DONT CARE NO ONE CARES

why I HATT YWOU

FUCK YOU

KILL YOURSELF

throw her in the pool 

DROWN HER

it’s a promise I WILL ENTER THIS FUCKING BOOK AND PUT YOU SIX FEET UNDER

WHAT HAPPENED

oh hi nash ☺️

AND XANDER AHENDKKW

anyway WHY IS GIGI UNCONSCIOUS???

oh

oh gigi 

awww ticklish gray 

i love her SO MUCH

FOUR CUPS OF COFFEE

MY GOD GIGI

omg it’s like me after the sols times one hundred 

I HATE POV SWITCHING 

I DONT CAREEEEE ABOUT JAMESON

well

anywayyyy

😕😕😕

please don’t get distracted, we know your girlfriend is hot but don’t

we’ll celebrate 

we know

le oop 

A HINT???

NOT A POV SWITCH

fhehsha HIS SISTERS 🥰🥰

NOT A FLASHBACK

eugh 

THROWING UP 🤮 

it’s her

em*ly 🤢🤢

ughhhhh

IM GONNA SCREAM WHERE IS MY AVERY

😳😳😳

NO???

EXCUSE ME

i don’t really think you do love them 

ARGH

WHACKING RN

oh. poor gray. 

LYRA 😍😍

she’s alive bro

OH MY GOD 

i’m back bitches

EWWWW

I CANNIT WITH BLOODY DIRT FINGERS

ARGHHH

bribing

my favorite 

GIGI 😭

no it’s alright girl i’d do the same 

oh. 

I LOVE ACACIA OMG

SHES WIDNERFUL

POOKIE

I FORGIT ABKR THE BUTCH

awww 🥰 

cookies 🍪 

😐😐😐

I CANNOT WITH THESE POV SWITCHES

UGH MORW BLOUD

AVERY WHAT THE FUCK

so no one won the game

JAHAHAH

oh ☹️

he’s really lonely 

IS IT THAT BITCH

EUGHHB EVEN WORDE ITS UGLY GUY

is he dead?

WHAT THE FUCK

HUH

EUGH

UGLY GUY WHAT

GIGI WHAT

btw maisie peters IS gigi

eve is a bitch who should be six feet under 

huh 

awww 🥰 

no now i’m crying 

ohhhhh shittyttttt

oh. 

AAYLDUXC

my heart HAS BEEN RIPPED OUT 

tears on my pillow 

THATS TERRIBLE MINDSET 

THAT FUCKING RXCUSE OF A GRANDFATHER MESSED THEM SO BAD

is zella alice?

she’s right. rich white boys het farrr in life 

oh

BRUH

LYRA 😍😍😍

BITCH WHAT DO YOU MEAN 

YOU PULLED A GUN ON HIM AND YOU EXPECT TO BE BESTIES

WHATTTTT

bitch jamie can’t even come

he needs to laugh

stop 💀

omg that would be fucking terrifying 

gigi and gray’s relationship means so much to me 

well i already knew that so hahaha

BITCHBBBHBBV

I HAVE NEVER HAGED SOMEONE MORE THAN THIS FUCKING BITCHASS IF A GIRL

why would you end a book like that?

now i am going to go chug some coffee and we are jumping straight into the grandest game 

the end. 

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

Aight, welcome to world "The gods are stopping us from committing war crimes"

Used to be a supercontinent, then a massive fight between all mortal species broke out. The final battle was so bad the gods decided to just blow up the whole country to stop it. This fractured the continent into 5 main pieces and a few archipelagos, afterwards the gods realized that might have been overkill and sent down avatars to clean up their mess. And also balance out the climate change after it got a divine nuked. That One God was reasonable for the whole war, and after getting blipped out of existence is given a hell of a lecture from the Goddess of Death and God of Life.

Fast forward a few thousand or so years, and the 5 continents have grown with multiple countries on each.

Northern most continent: Relies on magic the most, they use fire magic to keep warm and light magic to grow crops. Covered in deep snowy plans and high mountains. Inhabited mostly by humans, who can adapt to any environment. They have an isolationist mindset, and only seek survival. Surprisingly, this doesn't mean "Raid others to get supplies", rather a shared mindset of "Pull your own weight" and "Make sure tomorrow is possible". This is where The Other Mage is from, as well as the Pegasus Knight. Their most popular religion is that of the Fire Goddess

2nd largest piece: Most varied climate wise, boosts the largest collection of races, from humans to beastmen and everything in between. They rely mostly on alchemy with some magic thrown in. 200 years ago, the coastal country began subjecting all surrounding land and kidnapping any long-lived species. When the gods found out why they ordered their dragon followers to burn its borders for several miles, greatly shrinking it in size. Then they build a sea wall surrounding it, effectively isolating them as punishment. However, the Avatar's descendants stationed there have gone silent, so no one knows what's going on. The Tactician is from the coastal country. The Twink's family is a distant offshoot branch of the Avatar's descendants. This is where most of the Twink's group is from, the most popular religion is the Twin Gods of Dark and Light.

Largest piece: Covered mostly in tropical climate, with a few savannahs. Inhabited mostly by beastmen, with some elves. They rely on the power of spirits, to help manipulate the environment around them to their advantage. They are the center of trade, sending out goods to most of the world, and housing the largest libraries due to most of the long living special being there. Their most popular religion is that of the Earth God. The Dark Mage Kid is from one of the islands between the two largest pieces.

Smallest and Southern most piece: Similar to the Northern most fragment, harsh, snowy weather. However, they mostly have tundras and frozen lakes, as well as a few volcanos, making shelter scarce. Because of this, they value physical might the most. There are very few inhabitants on this continent, in fact, they boost the largest dragon population and pray to the God of Wind. Mostly to keep the blizzards and storms at bay. The DMK's mom is from here.

Notable Archipelagos: Eyes of Wrath, the sight of the divine bomb. Even thousands of years after the incident, the weather is unstable and the laws of nature are often broken. This area has floating islands, water flowing upstream, fiery rain, and is off limits despite being considered holy ground.

Emerald Sea, found off the coast of the largest continent. The islands here are more akin to mountains rather than ordinary land. They are covered in greenery, resembling the massive trees of the mainland. The waters can change at a moments notice, but also is regularly the sight of fishing and tourism.

Winter's Hand: Five islands just west of the smallest continent. Only two are true islands, the other three are collections of massive glaciers that shift and flip, sometimes stretching as high as mountains. Hench the name.

Gonna have to send another... Again

-🔮

👀

[nishicchikouchi]

I posted 789 times in 2022

That's 744 more posts than 2021!

215 posts created (27%)

574 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@murasaki-cha

@reneneedtodie

@hajidumps

@creator-savannah

@untitled-google-docs-document

I tagged 533 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#tcf - 279 posts

#trash of the count's family - 211 posts

#lcf - 207 posts

#cale henituse - 199 posts

#lout of the count’s family - 152 posts

#lout of count's family - 54 posts

#tcf part 2 - 33 posts

#alberu crossman - 32 posts

#svsss - 27 posts

#trash of the count’s family - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#rok soo will just think if the time soo hyuk was dancing in the shower and he slipped and had a hard time sitting down for weeks after that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Remember that Grade 1 Monster, the Steel Feathered Hawk? The one Cale called "Noonim" in Earth 2? That was a hawk, and Cale called it Noonim.

252 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#4

I seriously laugh whenever I remember the fact that Cale slapped WS but laments that only 2-4 people saw it, namely Alberu, Mila, Hannah and Jack iirc since Choi Han was blasted out the window lmao. In reaction fics, while seemingly quite a long time to wait for, this is really one of the scenes that I hope they'll react to. How they react to Alberu knowing that Cale have gone Crazy, Mila's comments, Jack's comments. I mean we got a share of Hannah's POV. Why not the two. I can't not laugh whenever I think of this scene.

298 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

#3

...Dissociating?

Unhealthy coping mechanism?

.

.

.

Oh gosh I wanna cry. The fact that Cale recognized most of his issues is a sign that he's trying to grow. The fact that he's slowly healing.

324 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

#2

These tweets are absolutely underrated and people needs to know more abt it.

340 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love how in tcf, Cale's family reminds everyone that Cale is human too. That time when Eruhaben said to that knight in Caro Kingdom that Caro Kingdom is not Cale's responsibility, that time where Alberu thought that he should correct the mindset of the people about Cale being omnipotent, and lastly, how his family and allies wanted to break the image that Cale is unshakeable.

708 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[writingforatwistedworld]

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsession, unhealthy mindset, possessiveness, spoiler for the Masquerade event (obviously)

Voicelines about you, the Overseer

Cheering to yourself you looked at the screen, confirming that you just purchased the new voicelines that you were only able to purchase during this event. To say that this event was stressful was an understatement. Heck, even the app seemed like it wanted to prevent you from earning all the materials and exchanging them for the lines of text, the App crashing and freezing whenever there was the slightest inconvenience. It was also very different from what you were used to in this game. Usually it was always light content and a few sprinkles of Angst for entertainment but this time it was like someone took the game and decided to turn it into something that could only be described with “nightmare fuel if real”. With the usual content creators of the game being unusually quiet, if not to say absolutely silent, about it there were no guides to look up, no one seemingly caring to explore the new lore presented. Tapping the screen you finally accessed the voicelines, curious about what they had to say about the individual which was at the center of said event, the Overseer

What is your opinion of the Overseer?

“There has never in history been an individual, no, simply a being so just and equal as them. One could say that they might be justice itself. Now, we are more than just aware that of course such can not be the truth. When the great calamity of blooming fire happened they were making judgments about the situation and unjust actions of the people resorting out of that also based on morale. If they were justice itself they would have purely gone the path of logic. However, like the sound of the Bell of Salvation their judgment was clear and of pure heart, understanding the resulting pain of the people, guiding the judge into the right direction. Although I am not able to understand their approval of magic. But this also only shows as well that they are indeed a kind individual.”

The view of your homeland, what is your opinion on that?

“Our view of the Overseer is already one that differences in many ways, depending on the person you ask. However, we are all able I agree that they are an advocate for justice. True justice unlike that judge that was topic of many discussions due to him accepting, well how to say this... “donations”. A stain like this upon our beautiful city like that is something everyone regrets and despises. Thus I can agree on the statement that they are indeed very deeply connected to our justice system but I would go even further with this. I would even dare to say that they are the reason why we can live in such a mostly upright and kind world like our own. But how dare those heathens of Sunset Savannah to say that they are nothing more than just a representative of equality? They are much more, they are the reason why freedom even exists!”

What would you do if you ever met them?

“That is a question I am not able to give you a definitive answer upon. All I can say with certainty is that I would most likely not be able to treat them with anything below respect. I might even make them uncomfortable... Pardon me for trailing off. But simply meeting them is an honor too great for my meek and unworthy, stained self. As I said, magic is something that is not certainly good and like a stain that needs certain treatment for it finally be eradicated. I myself am such a stain, or at least stained by it. Perfect of Ramshackle, due to you being pure unlike me I will entrust you with this secret: I highly doubt that someone like the Overseer would like someone like me but what do I expect, being someone like myself? A stain, a... parasite like me is not worth it. And yet I can not stop myself from dreaming that their bright light may reach me in the darkness. Them having the kindness and patience to look upon me as they do with those that deserve such. But I doubt I would be able to share their kindness ever again... how despicable of me...”

[the-obiwan-for-me]

1, 4, 11, 33, 34, for the ask game?

Oooo. Lots of questions. It's about to get weird in here.

1. Who is/are your comfort characters?

I mean, obviously Obi-Wan. The Kryze girls. Mace Windu. Kanan and Hera. The OT gang, especially Leia. Peli.

Outside of Star Wars, Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson (honestly, Nick Offerman, as a whole). Troy and Abed. The entire Rose family. President Jed Bartlett. Captain Holt. Spinal Tap. Vincent Vega and Jules. Inigo Montoya.

4. Which cryptid being do you believe in?

Ummmm......all of them? I mean, despite our ability to kill off thousands of species a day, we're also discovering new ones all the time (often just in time to kill them). Which goes to show that the Earth is BIG and mysterious and likes to keep her secrets. I absolutely can imagine there's some weird stuff skulking around in the woods, the mountains, and in the deep. Hell, Maryland fish and wildlife swore up and down that mountain lions hadn't been in the state for decades, despite multiple people on the farm I managed (and neighbors) seeing mountain lions in the forest around the farm.

I love the idea of Big Foot and was an avid fan of that silly show on Animal Planet years ago....Big Foot Hunters???? Or something? To this day, I still say to my horses "it's awfully Squatchy out there" when they're being unexplainably spooky.

Also, if you know anything about Mothman, you may also know that there's some supposed connection to Mothman and the Silver Bridge collapse in 1967. My mom took the same bus from college at Marshal University back to her hometown, which always took her across the Silver Bridge. However, when she went home that day, she ended up somehow on an express bus....that didn't go through Point Pleasant and over the bridge. She should have been on that bridge when it collapsed. Her parents thought she was, until she showed up at the bus station later that evening.

11. Favorite extracurricular activity.

Alone, time with my horse, hiking with my dog.

With friends or my guy, exploring our town or going hiking and/or gator hunting (pics only, obviously). I'm firmly a mountain girl, but I am falling in love with the strange wildness of Florida. Please admire some of the large bebes we saw on our last gator adventure (we saw SIXTEEN).

33. Last adventure you went on.

Anything can be an adventure with the right mindset! The guy and I went vintage shopping and thrifting on Saturday. He bought me a piece of reclaimed wood that spoke to me (he does woodworking. Still waiting to hear what the piece of wood wants to become). We went to Lowes and I was left unattended with the "rescue" plants. My collection grows. That was all an adventure!

We went to Savannah recently and learned that we're too old for NYE parties on boats (because you can't go to bed when you get tired before midnight 😂).

My dog and I went on a nice road trip in October. It was cold, but we got some really impressive mountains in peak fall foliage.

34. Is there a song you know every word by heart?

Several! Quite a few! Bohemian Rhapsody is one, as well as my favorite Queen song, I Want to Break Free. My all time favorite song is California Stars by Wilco (lyrics are actually by Woody Guthrie). I know it all. And the entirety of the Phantom of the Opera is burned into my skull because I was OBSESSED with it as a kid (how did we not know I was ND?).

More questions to find out how weird I am here!

[kayladaurio]

Integrating Business into Design: Insights from SCAD’s Approach

The Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) is renowned for fostering student creativity and innovation. However, SCAD also stands out for its ability to integrate business principles into design education, helping students become great artists and savvy entrepreneurs. This unique blend of business and design prepares graduates to navigate the competitive world of creative industries, offering lessons that extend far beyond the classroom.

By combining design thinking with business acumen, SCAD equips students with the tools to turn their creative visions into profitable ventures. These lessons offer valuable insights for anyone looking to bridge the gap between artistic passion and commercial success.

Merging Creativity with Business Strategy

At SCAD, students are encouraged to view their art as an expression of creativity and a product that can thrive in the marketplace. This mindset shift begins early in the curriculum, with courses that emphasize the importance of understanding market demand, consumer behavior, and branding strategies. By viewing their work through the lens of entrepreneurship, students learn how to position themselves and their creations in a way that appeals to clients and consumers.

One of the key lessons SCAD imparts is the ability to balance artistic integrity with market realities. Students are taught that while innovation and creativity are important, the ability to adapt to industry trends and consumer preferences is what sets successful designers apart. This business-oriented approach encourages students to think strategically about their work, enabling them to create designs that resonate artistically and meet business goals.

Practical Business Skills for Creative Success

SCAD also integrates practical business skills into its design programs. Marketing, finance, and project management courses are designed specifically for creative professionals, allowing students to build the business foundation necessary for long-term success. For example, students in SCAD's design programs learn how to develop business plans, manage budgets, and execute marketing campaigns, giving them the confidence to launch businesses or lead creative teams.

Understanding the financial side of design is another crucial aspect of SCAD's approach. Students are taught how to price their work, negotiate contracts, and manage production costs—skills often overlooked in traditional art and design programs. These real-world business lessons are essential for designers looking to succeed in industries where the ability to manage resources effectively can determine the success or failure of a project.

Industry Partnerships and Real-world Applications

Strong industry partnerships further reinforce SCAD's focus on integrating business with design. The college collaborates with leading companies across various industries, providing students real-world experience through internships, workshops, and collaborative projects. These partnerships allow students to apply their business and design skills in real-world settings, gaining valuable insights into the demands of the marketplace.

Through these industry connections, students also have the opportunity to build professional networks before graduating. These relationships often lead to job opportunities, freelance work, or even partnerships for launching new businesses. SCAD's commitment to providing students with industry-relevant experiences ensures they graduate with a competitive edge in the job market.

The Role of Design Thinking in Business

One of SCAD's most important lessons is how design thinking can drive business innovation. Design thinking—a problem-solving approach emphasizing empathy, creativity, and iteration—has become a popular strategy in business and design. SCAD teaches students to use design thinking not only as a tool for creating aesthetically pleasing products but also as a way to solve complex business challenges.

Incorporating design thinking into business strategy helps companies create products and services that truly meet customers' needs. SCAD students learn how to apply this approach to real-world business scenarios, such as improving customer experiences or developing new product concepts. This ability to combine creative problem-solving with business strategy is one of the key reasons SCAD graduates are in high demand across industries.

Preparing for the Future of Creative Industries

As industries evolve, the intersection of design and business will become more critical. SCAD is at the forefront of preparing its students for the future, offering programs that blend cutting-edge technology with entrepreneurial thinking. From digital design to fashion marketing, SCAD's curriculum is constantly updated to reflect industry trends, ensuring students are prepared to lead in their respective fields.

SCAD also emphasizes the importance of adaptability in today's fast-changing creative landscape. Students are encouraged to develop a mindset of lifelong learning, continually refining their skills and staying ahead of emerging trends. This forward-thinking approach positions SCAD graduates as leaders in industries where innovation and adaptability are key.

Lessons for Aspiring Designers and Entrepreneurs

The integration of business and design at SCAD offers valuable lessons for anyone looking to succeed in today's creative industries. By teaching students to approach their work with creativity and business strategy, SCAD prepares them for the challenges and opportunities of the modern marketplace.

For aspiring designers, the lesson is clear: creativity alone is not enough. You must combine your artistic vision with a solid understanding of business principles to thrive in competitive industries. Whether it's learning how to price your work, developing a marketing strategy, or applying design thinking to solve business challenges, SCAD's approach to education provides a model for success that can benefit creative professionals across all disciplines.

[spotlight-report]

Pianist, Composer and Wellness Expert Chad Lawson Set To Enchant Australian Audiences

Today, TEG Live and Universal Music Australia are proud to announce that Chad Lawson, pianist, podcaster and certified breathwork coach will embark on his debut Australian Tour – Classical Music For A Meditative Mindset – in October 2024. Hailing from Savannah, Georgia, Lawson will bring his empathetic approach to peaceful piano and captivate Australian East Coast audiences. The Tour kicks off on…