#save Kim Dan

[purge-samauwu]

I don't see anyone hating jaekyung on here with the appropriate levels of furiousity that are required so allow for me to fill that void.

FUCK THIS HORSE LOOKIN MOTHERFUCKER. TWEAKIN ASS. EVERY TIME I SEE PEOPLE LUSTIN FOR THIS BAKUGOU ASS OGRE ON MY HOME AND FYP MY WHOLE MOOD RUINED. I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS MANWHA ON A WHIM AND I WISH JUST AS EASILY AS I FOUND IT THAT IT COULD NOT EXIST. RABID DOG LOOKIN ASS. RAPIST BEIN ASS. EXTORTIN ASS. COMMITTIN 16 DIFFERENT CRIMES EACH CHAPTER. I WANT TO CHOP HIS DICK OFF AND BLEND IT THEN FORCE FEED HIM IT. DISTRIBUTER OF REVENGE PORN ASS. MADE TO BE THE GUY THAT ONE GIRL ALWAYS TELL YOU ABOUT BUT ALWAYS BACK TOGETHER WITH. BUT CRIMINAL!!!!

SAVE YA BOY!!!

Just letting my rage out. Thank you for your time🙃

[jesslovesboats]

Hello friends, I am back with more reading recommendations for your agonies! Next up we have the long awaited and much requested Sad Boat Fiction list. As with all of my lists, this is NOT exhaustive and there WILL be great books left off, and also you may or may not like these books! I only rec things that I've personally enjoyed or that come highly recommended by trusted friends, but taste in books is incredibly subjective, especially with fiction. If I missed your favorite, please add it in the comments or drop it in my DMs!

Now that I'm feeling more settled in my new job, I will hopefully have a lot more time to make book lists and do more virtual Readers' Advisory. I have lists in the works for women in polar exploration and companion reads for the HBO War series, but if there's something else you would love to see, please send me a message!

Classics of the Genre

At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft

The Terror by Dan Simmons

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

Dark Matter by Michelle Paver

Media Tie-Ins

Who Goes There? (Filmed as The Thing) by John W. Campbell, Jr.

The North Water by Ian McGuire

Cold Skin by Alfred Sánchez Piñol

The Terror by Dan Simmons

Graphic Novels

Whiteout by Greg Rucka

How to Survive in the North by Luke Healy

The Worst Journey in the World- The Graphic Novel Volume 1: Making Our Easting Down adapted by Sarah Airriess from the book by Apsley Cherry-Garrard*

*this is only fiction in the broadest possible sense of the term, but there is a shiny new American version of this book coming out with a gorgeous new cover and you should pre-order it immediately

Science Fiction

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin

Antarctica by Kim Stanley Robinson

Romance

Under a Pole Star by Stef Penney

The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley

My Last Continent by Midge Raymond

Inspired by the Terra Nova Expedition

The Worst Journey in the World- The Graphic Novel Volume 1: Making Our Easting Down adapted by Sarah Airriess from the book by Apsley Cherry-Garrard*

The Birthday Boys by Beryl Bainbridge

Terra Nova: A Play by Ted Tally

Antarctic Navigation by Elizabeth Arthur

*this is only fiction in the broadest possible sense of the term, but there is a shiny new American version of this book coming out with a gorgeous new cover and you should pre-order it immediately

Inspired by the Franklin Expedition

The Rifles by William T. Vollmann

Minds of Winter by Ed O'Loughlin

Solomon Gursky Was Here by Mordecai Richler

On the Proper Use of Stars by Dominique Fortier

Literary Fiction

The Voyage of the Narwhal by Andrea Barrett

Migrations by Charlotte McConaghy

We, The Drowned by Carsten Jensen

Inspired by the Classics

The Route of Ice and Salt by José Luis Zárate

Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund

Modern Day Antarctica

How the Penguins Saved Veronica by Hazel Prior

South Pole Station by Ashley Shelby

Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple

Polar and Nautical Horror

Where the Dead Wait by Ally Wilkes

Dark Matter by Michelle Paver

Cold Earth by Sarah Moss

The Deep by Nick Cutter

All the White Spaces by Ally Wilkes

Dark Water by Elizabeth Lowry

The Deep by Alma Katsu

Happy reading!

[lorraine1819]

A new start?

okay so; After Danny finally revealed that he was phantom, things started to go from bad to horrible really quickly. His parents captured him, strapped him on an operating table, and kept saying that they'd fix him and cure Kim from being a ghost. Tuck and sam are no where to be seen (maybe they got grounded) and Vlad is teeming up with his pa- the Fentons.

But then what if the day that the Fentons were about to vivisect Danny was the day Dani was supposed to visit and she found him lying on the table while the Fenton parents get their tools. Long story short, she saves him and they bust out of there, and went to hide in the infinite realms.

That was when things turned from horrible to worst. It got so bad that he pulled a Spiderman: no way home and wished to Desiree to make everyone forget about him. ('the problem wouldn't happen if the cause was never there' and he was scared he would turn into Dan if this kept going)

So now clockwork has 2 teenagers (Dani decided to stay with her brother) and is looking for a place back in the living realm (they're still humans that wouldn't survive long in the infinite realms) until he remembered a certain Hero/magic user back on earth that is used to the presence of unearthly beings

✨Constantine✨

ps. for plot convenience, Dan is on ghost therapy rehabilitating and would not be able to join until much later and Danny would still be king 👑

pss. feel free to continue/extend the story, I'd love to see what you guys have in mind 😁

[dreamingsnowflake2013]

Since the moment My Demon dropped its first teaser a few weeks ago, it has been my most anticipated upcoming drama, and the notion grows stronger with each new trailer and stills. It tells the story of a demon, who disdains humans and has been taking advantage of them for hundreds of years through devil-like contracts, and an aloof chaebol heiress, who unwittingly steals his powers while saving him and tricks him into a marriage of convenience, turning him into a bodyguard disguised as a husband. It's like Angel's Last Mission: Love (which I adored, plus the OTP visuals look similar as well), but what if Kim Dan were a cold-hearted bastard and a demon. Sounds delicious!

Moreover, Song Kang and Kim Yoo Jung literally set the screen on fire with their insane chemistry; and KYJ finally doesn't get type-cast as the innocent poor candy who makes everyone fall in love with her because of her kindness and perfection. It's nice to see her play the arrogant and cold type for once. The cinematography looks good, the only thing which makes me a little anxious is that it's coming from the writer of My Queen, which was great for 19 and a half episodes, only for it to go down the drain in the final 30 minutes, but who knows, maybe that was only caused by the fear that the general SK audience just couldn't accept a man transmigrated into a female body giving birth to a baby and ending up with another man, a real historical king to boot. We shall see. My Demon premieres on 24 November.

[impromptu-sketches]

So I’m reading Jinx.

I’m so curious how everything’s going to play out and if there will be a happy ending because in my view there’s no way that Jaekyung is redeemable after everything he’s done so far and will probably continue to do to Kim Dan.

(spoilers ahead)

I mean, poor Kim Dan, he went from in majorly in debt to loansharks, agreeing to have sex with his boss in order to make enough money, to being his boss’s indefinite sex slave in less than a few hours :(

Literally, Joo Jaekyung can only be redeemable if something so life-changing happens to him that his whole personality changes. Like, losing a fight and getting -seriously- injured or being outed/losing his career or Kim Dan saving his life after being close to death or something.

But with his current personality just seeing Kim Dan in pain or falling for him won’t do. Not enough.

Personally, I’m hoping that Kim Dan’s grandmother passes away and while Kim Dan is grieving or supposed to be grieving Joo Jaekyung crosses the line in some way that pisses Kim Dan off and so before the next big fight Kim Dan is on the brink of it and refuses to sleep with him before the match. Then, Joo Jaekyung loses the fight, gets hit in the head, has severe amnesia, and has to slowly regain his memories. Kim Dan, out of the kindness of his heart, comes back to help him because he thinks it’s his fault he got injured, and while rehabilitating and slowly remembering his life, Joo Jaekyung finally realizes how awful of a person he’s been - in general and especially to Kim Dan. When he regains all of his memories, he’s ashamed at the person he was. THEN and ONLY THEN can he be a better person, fall in love with Kim Dan, and they can be happy together.

I mean, can you imagine Kim Dan in that scenario trying to explain to him how they got in the predicament to begin with? “Um, I was just your physical therapist but then you started paying me to sleep with you before your matches and whenever you wanted - and I needed the money because my grandma was unwell. Then you paid off all of my debt and forced me to live here and be your plaything 24/7.” 

I need to see the REGRET I need to see TEARS I need to hear PLEADING APOLOGIES I want him to REFLECT and I want him to SIMP for Kim Dan so bad that he has to BEG for his forgiveness and GET ON HIS KNEES for a chance to even be in the same room with Kim Dan.

[brokehorrorfan]

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire will be released on Steelbook 4K Ultra HD, 4K Ultra HD, Steelbook Blu-ray (Walmart exclusive with art by Bella Grace), Blu-ray, and DVD on June 25 via Sony. The 2024 fourth installment in the Ghostbusters franchise is currently available on Digital.

Gil Kenan (Monster House) directs from a script he co-wrote with Jason Reitman (Ghostbusters: Afterlife). Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon, Mckenna Grace, Finn Wolfhard, Kumail Nanjiani, Patton Oswalt, Celeste O’Connor, Logan Kim, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, and Annie Potts star.

Special features are listed below.

Audio commentary by director Gil Kenan

Deleted and extended scenes

Easter Eggs Unleashed

Manifesting Garraka

New York, New Gear

Welcome to the Paranormal Discovery Center

Knowing the Score

Return to the Firehouse: Making Ghostbusters Frozen Empire

Buster: Capturing the Ghosts of Frozen Empire

The Spengler family returns to where it all started - the iconic New York City firehouse - to team up with the original Ghostbusters, who’ve developed a top-secret research lab to take busting ghosts to the next level. But when the discovery of an ancient artifact unleashes an army of ghosts that casts a death chill upon the city, Ghostbusters new and old must join forces to protect their home and save the world from a second Ice Age.

Pre-order Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire.

[natlacentral]

‘Avatar: The Last Airbender’ Renewed For Two Seasons At Netflix; Live-Action Series Will Conclude With Season 3

Avatar: The Last Airbender, the anime-inspired live-action series, will be able to tell the story of the four nations: Water. Earth. Fire. Air after Netflix renewed it for a further two seasons.

The streamer has handed the show a two-season renewal order to conclude the story of Aang’s journey to become the Avatar. 

It comes after the show premiered on Netflix on February 22 and recorded 41.1M views in its first 11 days, topping its TV list for the last two weeks and being on track to enter its top ten most-watched list over its first three months.

The plan is to film these two seasons – seasons two and three – in close succession in order to mitigate the fact that child actors tend to grow up quickly.

The series comes from Rideback, whose boss Dan Lin, an exec producer on the series, was recently named Netflix’s new film chief, replacing Scott Stuber. Albert Kim is showrunner, having replaced original creators Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko in 2020.

Its three season run will mirror the structure of the animated series, which featured three books across three seasons to Aang’s story that premiered on Nickelodeon in 2005, and became a hit on Netflix during the early stages of the pandemic.

It’s not clear how many episodes will be produced for season two and three. Season one features eight episodes.

Avatar: The Last Airbender takes place in a world that is divided into four nations: the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom, the Fire Nation, and the Air Nomads. “Benders” are people that have the ability to telekinetically manipulate and control the element corresponding to their nation, using gestures based on Chinese martial arts. The “Avatar” is the only individual with the ability to bend all four elements.

The four nations once lived in harmony, with the Avatar, master of all four elements, keeping peace between them. But everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked and wiped out the Air Nomads, the first step taken by the firebenders towards conquering the world. With the current incarnation of the Avatar yet to emerge, the world has lost hope. But like a light in the darkness, hope springs forth when Aang (Gordon Cormier), a young Air Nomad — and the last of his kind — reawakens to take his rightful place as the next Avatar.

Alongside his newfound friends Sokka (Ian Ousley) and Katara (Kiawentiio), siblings and members of the Southern Water Tribe, Aang embarks on a quest to save the world and fight back against the onslaught of Fire Lord Ozai (Daniel Dae Kim). But with a driven Crown Prince Zuko (Dallas Liu) determined to capture them, it won’t be an easy task. They’ll need the help of the many allies and colorful characters they meet along the way. Ken Leung and Paul Sun-Hyung Lee also star.

Kim and Lin exec produce produce alongside Jabbar Raisani, Lindsey Liberatore and Michael Goi. Goi and Raisani directed episodes in season one alongside Roseanne Liang and Jet Wilkinson.

It is Netflix’s second anime-inspired live-action hit after One Piece, following a rocky start in the genre with Cowboy Bepop. The streamer highlighted it as one of its latest successful adaptations, coming on the back of other IP-driven series such as The Sandman, Wednesday, Arcane and Sweet Tooth.

The creative team behind the series is keen to expand the story. Avatar executive producer and director Jabbar Raisani told Deadline that there’s stuff that they filmed that didn’t make it into season one.

“If we get another season, then we will certainly have those things, because I know what we missed now and I know how to do better the second time around,” he said. “The animated series is a really good guide…for where the show can go.”

[simply-whump]

The Secret Romantic Guesthouse (꽃선비 열애사) - Whump List

Whumpee : Kang San played by Ryeoun, Kim Shi Yeol played by Kang Hoon and Jung Yoo Ha played by Jung Gun Joo

Synopsis : Yoon Dan Oh had enjoyed a comfortable life as the beloved youngest daughter of a well-off family, but no longer. Now the family breadwinner, she runs the Ihwawon Inn. Current guests are scholars taking the civil service entrance exam in the hopes of becoming high-ranking officials. Among them are Kang San, Kim Si Yeol, and Jeong Yoo Ha, who all have deep secrets. They and Yoon Dan Oh will share information and cooperate to find Lee Seol, who disappeared 13 years ago. (MDL)

Genres :  Historical, Mystery, Romance

Warning! Possible spoilers below!

Kang San

Ep 1 : Fighting — More fighting, shielding someone from a falling shelf with his body

Ep 2 : Fighting

Ep 3 : None

Ep 4 : Fighting — Shot by a poisoned arrow, chased, running away with the arrow in his arm, bleeding, heavy breathing — Stumbling, pulls the arrow out (Gif Set) — Weak, looking exhausted and really unwell, vision blurry, stumbling — Collapses unconscious, concern for him (Gif Set)

Ep 5 : Unconscious, bleeding — Laid down on a bed, concern for him, wakes up — Unconscious/asleep in bed, concern for him, treated — Wakes up in bed, told to rest (Gif Set) — Has a hard time getting his clothes off, medicine applied on his wound a bit roughly — Training with his arm still injured, holding his arm

Ep 6 : Arm hurting — Using his bow with an injured arm, bleeding, arms shaking — Chased, hiding 

Ep 7 : Fighting, surrounded by ennemies, at sword point

Ep 8 : Worried for someone — glass smashed on his back while protecting someone — Arm in a sling — Wincing in pain — Injured arm hit, grabbing his arm while wincing in pain, bleeding — Identity revealed 

Ep 9 : Told he looks unwell, injury grabbed accidentally — Arm bleeding, concern for him, injury treated — Drunk, put to bed

Ep 10 : Sparring, hit, more intense sparring — Surrounded, attacked

Ep 11-12 : None

Ep 13 : His legs fell asleep because he squatted for to long, helped up — Surrounded, attacked, fighting

Ep 14 : None

Ep 15 : Fighting multiple ennemies at once, almost shot, falls from a cliff, hits a tree, bleeding from the head, passes out (Gif Set) — Woken up, helped up — Arrested, tied up to a chair

Ep 16 : Worried for someone, fighting, hit, thrown to the ground — Tied to a pole — Frees himself, fighting, at sword point, more fighting

Ep 17 : None

Ep 18 : Fighting, loses his sword, sword at his neck, saved, more fighting — Fighting, crying

Kim Shi Yeol

Ep 1 : Thrown down some stairs, pretends to be unconscious — Punched, blood on his lips — Taken by some guards — Looking disheveled 

Ep 3-4 : None

Ep 5 : Knocked out, arrested and tied to a chair — Sword at his neck

Ep 6 : Tied to a chair, burning iron put on his leg (torture), groaning in pain, heavy breathing — Limping

Ep 7 : Trips and falls while running away

Ep 8-9 : None

Ep 10 : Identity revealed

EP 11 : Fighting

Ep 12 : Scratch on his hand, concern for him — Concern for him, checked out to see if he has any injuries

Ep 13 : Fighting, arm cut — Asleep, concern for him

Ep 14 : None

Ep 15 : Surrounded by ennemies, attacked, fighting while protecting someone, arm cut, bleeding, concern for him — Injury treated, lots of scars shown on his body — Depressed

Ep 16 : Crying — Fighting

Ep 17 : Fighting, crying

Ep 18 : Fighting

Jung Yoo Ha

Ep 1-5 : None

Ep 6 : Watches his mother die, crying

Ep 7 : None

Ep 8 : Teary eyed

Ep 9-11 : None

Ep 12 : At sword point

Ep 13-15 : None

Ep 16 : Tied to a pole — Freed— At sword point, sees someone he cares for die in front of him, crying, shocked, stumbling, stays behind to protect his friends

Ep 17 : Tied to a chair, face grabbed roughly — Brought for a public execution with a bag on his head, hands tied, put to his knees, neck, hands and feet tied so that he can be torn apart

Ep 18 : Limbs pulled by horses (to tear him apart), saved, heavy breathing

>> More Whump Lists

[doug-meat]

parts of the npmd soundtrack that scratch my brain perfectly (act 2)

again its all under the cut. i hope this is comprehensible its longer than the last one. idk what else to say

HATCHET TOWN

dan's whole bit at the start. just the way he says everything. so good

the ahh ahh ahhs

the electric guitar <3

curt's voice for bailey esp the growl

A LOSIN STREAKS COMIN!

the smoooothness of corey's voice and the way he sings things auuauauuau

IF HE GETS ME NEXT I COULD BE THREE!

the harmonies on man down down down down

the little plinky organ melody in the backround that comes in halfway through the chorus UAUUAUAUA

the way jon says donna

donna's "DAN!!!"

i certainly dont LOVE killing!

the harmonies on "bailey's/barry's on the loose and he's got a gun" (im talking mainly abt the soundtrack and not the proshot so bailey is more applicable here but both r so good)

I'M A COP!

fits the bill! it fits the bill!

THE HARMONIES ON THE SECOND MAN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN UAUUAUAUAU

the who's swingin the hatchet now harmonies

HATCHET TOOOOOWN

I AM THE MAYOR!!!!

HOW DARE YOU!!!

bryce's solo <3 all of it is so good

BOY JERRY <3 and gerald monroe ig but i love jerry

LET'S KILL 'IM!

CAN I SHIT OR WILL I DROWN

kim's little opera bit

the final in hatchet town harmony <3

JUST FOR ONCE

this whole song in general btw. i love ruth fleming so so so so so so so so so much this song was such a silly contemperary theatre tribute

NO, i haven't seen your grill brush, MAURY. huh YEAH! i used it to BRUSH MY HAIR this morning CANT YOU TELL. ugh

DONT LEAVE ME OUT HERE WITH THE MEAT, MAURY! medium WHA? how can something be medium AND WELL, MAURY?

ugh. maury.

*sigh* i turned 40 today.

the piano coming in

the synthy strum

the way lauren sings the word saturday. her voice throughout this whole song just scratches the brain itch so well

the way she says window, right, dream, and had

they never win

and LIIIIIFE is FULLL of all of the Trappings of The Well to Dew

god i love ruth. i love this song i love this song.

the slight tonal shift (thats not the right word ugh) for the choruses.

39 I LOSE MY HAIR UNDER CAREFUL CHEMO TREATMENT

the way lauren says ensnared

JUDGE ME.

IT FUCKING WORKED I'M FUCKING HERE HE'S FUCKING HER IM DISAPPOINTED

and of the two who's the worse for wear (ME.)

the tambourine

idk what that instrument is in the bg of second chorus it sounds like a saxaphone but also synthy???? idk but i love it

SHOULD I FLIP THE BURGERS NOWWW!

the clarity of lauren's first oh UAUAUA

SHOULD I LET THE YEARS COOOK MY BODY DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM

all 3 just for onces esp the last one with the riff

THE WAY THAT BEHIND THE JUST FOR ONCES YOU CAN HEAR THE "if i can finally be cool i will know that i'm not a loser" MOTIF AUUAUAISUAUUAISIAU

the way the tone calms back down but its still like so vulnerable... uuuuuauu

the way she says every word in this last verse

i used to dance :(

IF I LOVED YOU

THE SYNTH

I NEVER WANTED YEW ANYWAY!

joey's general tone in this UAUAU so good

mariah's deeper voice HEART EYES AUUUU

i just love lautski this song is so good i can barely pick things out bc this whole song scratches my brain

joey's lil growl on "oh babe i'd let u know"

OOOO! i guess we'd better save the date!

need a lover MAYUN

i love when jeff blim crams a lot of syllables into an amount of time like that its so fun

the harmonies <3

wake me up when u turn 18!!!

if i IF I!!!!!

the repeating round style of singing in order to come together eventually I lov them

dissonance <3

THE SUMMONING

the way the lords names are sung i love it sm

the lords names being whispered in the background

tNOY karaxis

WIGGOG WIGGOG Y'WRATH

the woah ohs and the drums kicking in

the music cutting out

HELLO FWENDY WENDS

the we will build a portal motif

the laughter

just the whole little lord verses its so discordant and fun and i love it so much i love the voices they put on i love the lyrics

LA LA LA LA LA ALALALALALA

the book has all but closed on ur life!

THE LORDS IN BLACK ARE THE LORDS IN BLACK ARE

blinky's we've been watching u gracie

the way curt says spankoffski and toy box

GOOOO NIGHTHAWKS!

tinky's laugh

jon's wiggly voice

WHY HELP U WITH THE JAGERMAN WHEN WE CAN HELP THE WORLD

the drums

swallow his soul i wanna lick it!

i wanna see thaaaat

WHATEVER WE WANT WE WANT WE WANT WHATEVER WE WANT WE GET

AAAAUHGUGH there IS something!

something FUN!!!

the lords in black the lords in black call us...

what do u want steph...

do it... or DIE

WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABT UR PHONE!

AHHHHHHUHGHHH THERE HE IS

what's in your pocket STEPH-A-KNEE

STEPHANIE HAS GOT A GUN TRALALALA HOW FUN! STEPHANIE HAS GOT A GUN SHE KNOWS WHAT MUST BE DONE

i love this whole song its so silly and crazy

YUM YUM!

or FUCK OFF

that last "the lords in black the lords in black call us"

COOL AS I THINK I AM REPRISE

this one makes me really sad :( still so good

one of us is in love :(((((((((

it doesnt TAKE a detective

the violins coming in again

is it really a crime if you get to live your life to the fullest :((((

YOU GET TO LIVE ON :(((((

the i love u i know :(((((((

ur not as cool as u think u are! :(

THE HARMONIES :(

IF I CAN FINALLY BE COOL :((((

i will know that you have to do it :(((

joey's lower register for this last little if i loved u chorus :(((

loved u more than the stars above :(((((( (how many sad faces can i use)

the pause before could've :((((

i cant even say anything more abt this one it makes me too sad

ok yes i can the i never wanted you anyway breaks my heart

BEST OF YOU

the guitar

the needy beast esque pronounciation of words idk how else to say it i just love it

LIKE EYE DEW

we hurted!

the harmonies on town and down

IM THE BEST OF YEW!

this song is just so fun

it's like you knew me b4 u knew me! that whole bit! i love it!

THE AHS IN THE BACK OF THE SECOND BIT OF THE SECOND VERSE

ABSCONDED BELOVED

FOREVER!

WE'RE GONNA RUN AROUND 2NITE!

I BELIEVE IN YEWWWW

never gonna fall!

the echoey verse in the back at the end Auuu so good

the ending note harmony

DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE

the souls of the pervs make me strong

her laugh

I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE

everything she sings here sounds so incredible

ARE U HARD BC UR STRESSED

what????

i just love this reprise its so so good

i cant point out specific parts bc its just all incredible

OF THE NERDS U MINIMIIIIIIIZED!!!! her RIFF!

THE LAUGH

when the ensemble comes in heart eyes

WHO WILL PRAY 4 U WHEN UR BODY'S GONE THIS IS THE CONSEQUENCE FOR WHAT YOUVE DOOOOONE

DARKNESS WILL SPARE MY SOUL

run pervs RUN

[atty-goldstein]

Just finished watching NPMD and here are my observations:

Oh starting right away with Richie's death

OHHHH It's the first time we actually hear Lauren and Jon sing together, even for just a lil bit

The Watcher World callback with the hammer and the phone

Every Mariah character: MY PICTURES ON MY PHONE, Me: gurl back it up on Cloud

Awwww Ruth

That one person who cheered louder than anyone else when Pete stood up for himself

Everyone collectively going "awww" when Pete shows up with the black eye

The Chasitys have such a cute color scheme. Would wear. But like. Mark's outfit has such gay vibes tho. Like. Stereotypical gay outfit.

Pfft that one person who cackled the Loudest during the dinner scene

Max, climbing in the tub with his jeans on: *vine voice* He's washing him and his jeans. He's washing him and his jeans.

Oh Mark showing up after Dirty Girl is literally like that scene with Hanschen during My Junk in Spring Awakening.

LISTEN. About two years ago, I was watching SAF and my dad looked over my shoulder AND HE THOUGHT JOEY WAS LIN MANUEL MIRANDA

Max: I'm gonna kick your ass!, Me: *Ted voice* Not his head

Wait. But his reaction to the prank is so wholesome and precious actually.

Gurl. Just let it stay an accident and destroy the footage instead. Don't be stupid.

I remember saying Bryce as Brenda. Glad that it happened.

Hatchet Town is basically just "Your Fault" from Into the Woods huh

Pete and Ruth sound a lot like Scrags and Esther ngl

I love Kyle. Himbo dude.

The shift when Clivesdale is introduced.

The way everyone also awwed when Richie got appreciated. I don't think a show goes by without Jon's character being loved

It's interesting that the hs kids don't want to be mean and aren't inherently mean, they were just pressured into being mean

Ohhh. He got bedazzled. Like Edward Cullen.

I want the cast recording so I can hear Jon and Will sing at each other more clearly

Boy Jerry's a reporter? I mean sure, I assumed they have jobs when it's off-season for camp, but I didn't expect journalism

What does Bryce's character know about Boy Jerry's murder spree tho?

Everyone's talking about Boy Jerry throwing Girl Jeri under the bus, but not Dan agreeing with Boy Jerry in accusing Donna

Hatchet Town is just Your Fault from Into the Woods huh

Steph protecting Ruth parallels Steph looking after Hannah

hc that Joey's character in the bbq monologues is whoever played Joey's roles in the Hatchetfield production of TTO

Jon's delivery ohmygod lmaoooo

Oh and Mariah's character, Caitlyn/Kaitlin, feels like a mini Zoey

Ruth sweetieeee you are so brilliant

Ruth having a mushroom on her shirt like the "I'm a failure" meme

The way they pull off Max's teleportation is so so good

Kim is the queen of horrified screams now

YESSSS HE SAID THE MIRANDA RIGHTS he ain't got a warrant tho

Considering tgwdlm was 2018, and it's 2023 now, then it HAS been FIVE YEARS since Peter asked for his hot chocolate from Emma

GARY PUPPY PAID ATTENTION WHEN HE HEARD PAUL. Because of he still recognizes Jon.

Pfft Paul having more balls than Pete

Okay it's vague enough that it can be interpreted that Paul doesn't die. I didn't think Emma would do the Linda screech tho. It's always enough to startle and disorient tho.

THE COSTUMES THE COSTUMES I LOVE THE COSTUMES

Oh I have a theory behind what Tinky says. But it's going in a separate post

The LiBs going "WE DON'T WANT YOUR PHONE"

In Once Upon a Time, it is customary to give up "the thing you love most" in exchange for extremely powerful magic.

Ahahaha as a Catholic I can confirm that Grace's opinion on Catholicism is mostly correct

I feel like if Pete did die, it would prevent him from turning into a horny bastard like Ted tho. Which may potentially save him from Tinky

And Pete letting himself get shot to save the woman he loves, would parallel Ted's sacrifice in Ape Man

That one person who very audibly goes "WHAT THE FUCK" when Max takes the bullet for Pete

Grace saying her type is dudes who come back from the dead. And I'm like. "AND THEY'RE BOTH RIPPED AS FUCK"

Annnd now the tables have turned on Joey after eating Sally out in the choir room.

Aaaat least she can't get knocked up?

Where'd she get that cigarette tho

The hair flip that accompanied the spin

GARY PUPPY CUDDLED UP TO THE LAPTOP WHEN HE HEARD WIGGLY

Kim's teacher character is so cute

The "awwww" when Pete and Steph came to homecoming together. Also Pete's bow tie will always match whatever Steph's wearing

Are we all in agreement that Jon and Will's homecoming characters are dating?

Grace. YOU ASKED.

Hmm. A soul-sucking spell especially targeting guys? Sounds like what Sheila had.

"Guys who came before"? Who else did she hook up with between the ghost's death and homecoming?

It's the return of Angela's iconic witch laugh

But Grace how long is that gonna work out for you. You gonna eventually use contraception? Have magic contraception? Or eventually get knocked up? Just sayin'

[autism-rizz-tournament]

OK SO

After a LOT of deliberation there will be 69 participants (Nice). The top 5 characters with an overwhelming "yes" percentage will get to skip round 1

List of characters under the cut, the bracket will be posted either this week or next week, and the tournament will start shortly after (ideally)

Top 5 (will enter the tournament on round 2):

Falin Touden (Dungeon Meshi)

Spock (Star Trek)

Abed Nadir (Community)

Red (Pokémon)

Suletta Mercury (Mobile Suit Gundam: Witch from Mercury)

Other characters:

Riz Gukgak (Dimension 20 - Fantasy High)

Will Graham (Hannibal)

Elizabeth Harmon (The Queen's Gambit)

Chu Sangwoo (Semantic Error)

Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Allison Reynolds (The Breakfast Club)

Bern Keene (Hello From The Hallowoods)

Legoshi (Beastars)

Jotaro Kujo (JoJo's Bizzarre Adventure)

Nico Robin (One Piece)

Kagami Tsurugi (Miraculous Ladybug)

Hershel Layton (Professor Layton)

Entrapta (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Aziraphale (Good Omens)

Marina (Splatoon)

Lan Wangji (The untamed)

Miles Edgeworth (Ace Attorney)

Wayne (Letterkenny)

Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 the infinity)

Doumeki Shizuka (xxxHolic)

Fox Mulder (X-Files)

Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium)

Hiccup (How To Train Your Dragon)

Luz Noceda (The Owl Houes)

Dr. Brennan (Bones)

Sho Minamimoto (The World Ends With You)

Laios Touden (Dungeon Meshi)

Shigeo "Mob" Kageyama (Mob Psycho 100)

Tome Kurata (Mob psycho 100)

Ricky Potts (Ride the Cyclone)

Frieren (Sousou no Frieren/Frieren: Beyond Journey's End)

Mao Mao (Apothecary Diaries)

Alhaitham (Genshin Impact)

Jay Walker (Ninjago)

Donatello (ROTTMNT)

Xenk Yendar (Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves)

Link (The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)

Dan Heng (Honkai Star Rail)

Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)

Percival King (Epithet Erased)

Merlin (BBC Merlin)

Caleb Widogast (Critical Role)

Shoto Todoroki (My Hero Academia)

Essek Thelyss (Critical Role)

Seymour Krelbourne (Little Shop of Horrors)

Ingo (Pokemon)

Haruka Nanase (Free!)

Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time/ Adventure time: Fionna and cake)

Frida Kahlo (Clone High)

Knuckles the Echidna (Sonic The Hedgehog)

Shen Qingqiu (The Scum Villian’s Self-Saving System)

Enderman (Minecraft)

Tech (The Bad Batch)

Ballister Boldheart (Nimona)

Garnet (Steven Universe)

Vinnie Dakota (Milo Murphy's Law)

Chiaki Nanami (Super Danganronpa 2)

Kozume Kenma (Haikyuu!)

Augustus Porter (The Owl House)

Gillion Tidestrider (Just Roll With It)

Reagan Ridley (Inside job)

Candace Flynn (Phineas and Ferb)

Triffany Lottablog (Bugsnax)

Pearl (Steven Universe)

[skyland2703]

This might be my favorite Adam picture that wasn't part of the Coinless timeline or the Eltarian War. Dunno why; but so pretty.

The ONLY part of MMPR 117 that I've found the energy to care about...so far. Though some parts offer fandoms theories.

Introduction to tiny T.J. and Cassie in the GGPR Deluxe Edition II~ Isn't it nice to see that they're 13 when the current rangers are 16? Helps tie things up for later down the line ^^

The Dan Mora cover sheet for GGPR: FOREVER RANGERS. Group shots from Mr. Mora are always so SOFT.

.....Which County Fair Date, Kim? WHICH ONE??

This… this is SO perfect.

Adam’s look there is ANNOYED™️ and it SUITS him. Like he is someone whos marshmallow happy like, ALWAYS. so seeing him pissed, it kiNDA FITS. BUT ALSO. SO ADORABLE. Saving saving SAVING.

The ragtag team is THE best. They’re not soldiers, but they’re volunteers!!’ THEY WANNA DO GOOD!!!! And that’s what matters THE. THEEEE MOST. Like someone once said, one guy who WANTS to do good on their own is >>>>> someone whos paid to “do good” (and still doesnt do their job properly). Not exactly fitting here, but I thought it was a VIBE. Bulk and Skull are the ultimate “never selected for it, but would always do their part” duo and I LOVE THEM for it.

TINY TJ AND CASSIE’S INTRO. AND THE LITTLE SNEAK PEEK INTO WHO THEY GROW UP TO BE :3 I’m still kinda glad they didnt make kids THAT SMALL rangers (*ignores tf out of Justin*). And the fact that they introduced them in the EXACT GGPR FASHION!!!!!!!!! That’s a power rangers exclusive and I love that TO BITS.

The Dan mora shots!!!! Actually, ACTUALLY, all the covers of GGPR (ALL. OF. THEM.)

Aldo the movie covers. I need help with this bc i don’t know like half the movies, but buuuut I wanna make a compilation/comparison post of all the GGPR movie cover parody posters with the actual posters. Wouldn’t that be fun??

.

.

And uh… you and I BOTH know which date that was for 😏

This was INSTANT SEROTONIN. Thank you SO SO SOOOO MUCHHHHHH 3

[sara-wishes]

And July. - 민기 - profiles 1 ☘️

☘️ Mingi x Female!Idol!Reader

☘️ And July. masterlist

☘️ now listening to: And July by HEIZE and DEAN

☘️ summary: When on her 4th comeback's backstage Y/N is unwillingly reunited with her brother, suddenly 8 boys are swept into her and her group mates' lifes. A tall boy in particular has taken a liking to Y/N and apparently, maybe... she feels the same? 

❀ lucyd:

JYPE's new girl group. They debuted on January 31st of 2018 and have been active since then. A group that focuses mostly on its lore, their music is creative and innovative, but usually on the 'calm' side. lucyd's fandom is called "wytness". The group's members include Liu Daiyu, Jung Y/N, Yun Aili, Junyi Noa, Sugawara Moriko (aka Marte) and Choi Chinseon.

➯ See more info about lucyd (!coming soon!)

❀ Jung Y/N:

lucyd's lead vocalist and centre. She is a chaotic ball of energy around friends and when in public and with strangers, closed off and introverted. Her personality resembles Wooyoung's, but after all it makes sense, since she is his older sister. Left her home and family, cutting all ties, to pursue the idol career against her parent's wishes. Has never forgiven herself for leaving Wooyoung behind. Was saved from poverty after leaving her home thanks to her best friend, Lee Minho. Owns two cats, Latte and Orion.

❀ Moriko Sugawara (aka Marte):

lucyd's lead rapper and one of the three producers of the group. Her father is japanese but her mother is italian, so she also adopted an italian name, "Marte", using it as her stage name. Loud but introverted, she loves anime over anything else. Daiyu is her best friend. Incredibly savage and sassy, tends to be oblivious and unintentionally uncommunicative. Dresses like an emo girl.

❀ Liu Daiyu:

lucyd's leader and main dancer. Born and raised in China, she moved to Korea to achive her dream of becoming a dancer. Dancing became her passion after going through some rough patches on her life. Acts like a mother to all of the girls of the group although she herself can be childish too. Marte is her best friend. Loves hitting the gym. Believes in single girl supremacy.

❀ Junyi Noa:

lucyd's 'main' visual. Loves cats over everything else (except her girlfriend, Lee Chaeryeong, who she is madly in love with). 'Hates' all men, loves all women. Really tsundere and unresponsive with her friends (and everyone in general), flirty with girls she likes. Born and raised in China, moved to Korea as an exchange student. Her and Chinseon share the custody of a siamese cat called Kimbap. Her best friend is Shin Ryujin.

❀ Yun Aili:

lucyd's main vocalist, producer (2/3), Face of the group, and all rounder. Dedicated, hard working and a studio 'rat', never leaves the company and only works. Her mother is finnish, so her parents named her 'Aili', but her father is korean. She was born and raised in Korea and has been neighbors with Kim Seungmin since forever. They are also childhood friends because of this. Her best friend is Chinseon.

❀ Choi Chinseon:

lucyd's maknae, main rapper, 'secondary' visual, lead dancer and producer 3/3. She was born and raised in Korea. Her dream had always been songwriting. Really shy with everyone new (mostly boys), loud and annoying with friends. Nicknamed the clown of the group, she loves video games. Used to be an emo girl. Crushes on people too easily.

🏷 taglist: @bbycrabcakes, @cookiechristie, @xxxquinnxxx, @brrrreee37, @many-names-yuna, @bashkins, @so-nyeon-dan, @pearltinyy, @funkydinorawr, @svenjafangirlt, @annicht, @justredpandasthings, @moonstarwitch, @caitleen, @cocoforkuroopuffs, @crustyrat335, @n-n4y3li, @alice0blog, @motherhwasnoodles, @likejay-z, @aoi-turtle, @7dilemma7, @strangemaximoff, @watamotee33, @kibs-and-bits, @milkyr4bbit, @xazucaradictax, @lukalime, @harmonized-disarray, @anew-inception. (names not on bold could not be found).

[rosyfingered-moon]

Twenty Questions

@angryteapott Thanks for the tag! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

748,763

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly television: kdramas and cdramas, and some English-language shows. The only films I have written for are Decision to Leave and Cyrano de Bergerac.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All of them are Mr. Queen:

Mrs. Queen - A rushed fix-it that I began one day after the show ended and then published daily for two months straight. It was a super fun writing exercise bc I tried to work in as many reader prompts as possible to salvage all of our broken hearts after the horrid ending. It was also the unfortunate beginning of my haphazard style of posting first chapters with no clue what the rest of the story will be. (100k)

The White Grass- Non-magic AU. I really enjoyed writing this because 1. it's my only properly beta read story and it was sooo fun to go over things with Sarah in advance! and 2. it features a noncon scene that was really divisive and led to a lot of very interesting discussions about power and consent on Twitter. (74k)

The Raw Ingredients - Bong-hwan finally returns to Joseon, but not as a queen, but a chambermaid!! So she has to scheme her way back to Cheoljong with the help of Minister Kim Soyong. I loved writing this, it was pure wish fulfillment and lowkey I think the most hilarious way a season two could have gone (if I may toot my own horn). @lady-guts has made theeee most beautiful fanbinding of it which has made me appreciate it more <33 (41k)

And I, and Silence - Soyong wakes back up alone inside her body with no memory of what has happened and has to fend for herself. I loved writing Kim Byeong-in's pov and also Jo Hwa-jin's pov and also their freaky love story!! (99k)

Whatever Souls Are Made Of - After almost drowning Soyong ends up with the complete memories of her future self (Bong-hwan). So suddenly she is both a Joseon woman and a South Korean man and has to grapple with that. Also there's a sweeping romance crossing time and space. (61k)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to respond to all, because I think those connections is what makes fandom worth engaging in. Currently behind on answering though :(

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm a HEA gal, but my Kingdom fic Something Rotten ends with hate sex that isn't maybe only hate but more hate than love. (Also, at least one of the main characters is gonna get eaten by zombies in the future.) I wrote a short My Liberation Notes piece called These Winter Fields where I let Mr. Gu attend Alcoholics Anonymous, but his recovery is left open-ended. Writing it felt very bittersweet to me personally, as someone who has been close to an addict.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them have tooth-rottingly happy endings! But the ones that felt the most healing to me were my The Hour fic not even the rain because I had been hurting for a decade over its cancellation, and my Beyond Evil fic Splinters where I unfridged Kang Min-jeong and let her live a vibrant poly life without having to die to fuel other people's manpain. Also very much enjoyed saving Comrade Gu in my Crash Landing on You fic Allegretto, not so much for his own sake as for Seo Dan, who deserves to have everything she wants.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. Sometimes people have expressed disappointment. I think the most hate I got was a person on Twitter who got really upset that I wrote a ship they didn't like and in a way they didn't like, but I don't think that had very much to do with my actual fic (since they hadn't read it).

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Mostly het. I think I have progressed from more tender depictions to, like, trying to hone in on the slightly weird or awkward parts of sex, and also to describe the scene more straightforwardly and let people's imagination do the work for them?

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

A Six Flying Dragons/My Country: The New Age crossover, and a Rookie Historian/Sungkyunkwan Scandal crossover. Neither feels very crazy to me because the universes fit so well (the two former because they feature the same historical people and events, and the two latter because they are both fluffy fusion sageuks with perky heroines).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, or at least reposted without credit.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would love if that happened!!!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Gotta go with Goo Hae-ryung and Min U-won because they are sooo delightful to write, really grew on me (I didn't ship them immediately), and the fandom are such lovely people!

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I hope I will finish all of them in time.

What are your writing strengths?

Funny dialogue! (At least I think it's funny.) Readers mostly seem to appreciate the heart-wrenching confession oneliners.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, repetitive descriptions, that classic hyperfocus on the main ship to the detriment of other characters, and action scenes. There's probably many cultural misconceptions as well, especially since I mostly write historical pieces (ranging from the Joseon Dynasty and Tang Dynasty to 1950s Britain). I try to research, but being a foreigner means that there will always be a gap.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Since I'm not a native English speaker, all my dialogue is in another language! In the kdrama fics I sometimes include familial terms, honorifics, and other forms of address in transliterated Korean, because I think that helps remind people reading it of what the sentence "actually" sounds like within the fiction, and also maybe allows them to recall what those particular words sound like when spoken by the actors of show. It gives the appearance that the fic only translates the character's "real," embodied, Korean conversation and keeps the readers immersed. At least that's my intention.

First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3 it was for Supernatural, since 15x20 enraged me enough to finally post something. But I also wrote Buffy and Harry Potter fic on FF.net when I was a kid. Including Snape/reader inserts, which I recently told a friend about and she gave me the most repulsed look I have ever seen :)

Favorite fic you've written?

I don't actually know!! Whatever Souls Are Made Of is probably one of the best pieces I have written, but all of them are dear to me in different ways.

Tagging @drivingsideways and @comfect and @elderflowergin and anyone else who wants to do it!

[elliebirdwrites]

Thai BL Fic Recs

You know what I miss? Fic rec posts.

I spent a glorious few hours reading some really good BL fic that I stumbled upon completely by accident, some of it a few years old.

Things I've read and loved recently, in no order.

bodies running on a dream Dan/Yok (Not Me), explicit, 2,900 words bittersweet post-series fic that's really freaking hot and also kind of sad.

made to your measure Earth/Mix, explicit, 2,500 words super sexy porn set during safe house with a slutty, desperate Mix (seriously the characterization is fucking hot af) and a long-suffering Earth. Delightful and hot.

let's make a move Jeff/Barcode, teen & up, 800 words someone else beside me has written Jeff/Barcode! A very sweet first kiss, Jeff calming a nervous Barcode.

pin me to your wall First/Khaotung, explicit, 15k words Well this was fucking delightful. Tay takes sexy boudoir photos of Khaotung and First has a full on panic about it. Super sexy and funny with delightful cameos by Earth, Mix, Neo and others.

Come on, get up Kim/Porchay (KinnPorsche), teen & up, 5,700 words This one has tons of kudos/comments so I imagine you've read this if you're into the pairing, but I have read very little of anything and this was a joy to discover. Kim gets kidnapped and Porchay helps save the day while still being a pissed off teenager. Super well-written and great characterization.

the kind of superstar that would only steal your heart Kim/Porchay (KinnPorsche), teen & up, 11k words Another I imagine most people have read. I liked the way this writer writes Porchay. I am SUPER picky about this pairing and this felt very true to how I see the characters. Another really good Porchay voice as well.

Sugar On My Street Neo/Shin/Miw (3 Will Be Free), mature, 7k words There is not enough 3 Will Be Free OT3 fic and I am so glad I found this. This is quietly and super sexy and focuses on the three of them working out how to be together.

we come as a pair Ai Di + Bai Zongyi (Kiseki: Dear to Me), not rated, 4k words I have not stopped thinking about this since I read it (note to self, leave a comment dummy). Short vignettes of Ai Di and Bai Zongyi's friendship/the way they look out for each other during and post prison life. So many sweet moments and a beautiful dynamic.

[anhed-nia]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Jeffrey Mandel's 1989 sci-fi horror holiday movie ELVES, about how Nazi occultists plot to perpetuate the master race by having a genetically engineered "elf" mate with virgin mall rats in Colorado, once saved my life.

OK maybe I'm exaggerating for effect, but not a lot. You'll get the idea. I was taking a semester off from college in Portland, ME, a weird dark place where I didn't know anybody besides the people I served coffee to. Despite promises that unhinged losers like myself really blossom in college, I had started failing classes for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to major in, all of my latent mental problems were spinning up fast and no one was taking it seriously at all. So I was by myself on Thanksgiving, trying to figure out how to make the most of the day. I ventured into a whiteout blizzard and got the stuff for a dish my dead mom used to make that seemed simple enough even for a walking disaster area like myself: white rice, green beans, tofu & soy sauce. Naturally I brutalized all of it into an unrecognizable paste. Hungry and feeling nervous about my blackening mood, I decided to visit the appealingly crummy little second-run theater downtown; they still had MEMENTO, so I bought a ticket even though I was 45 minutes early and sat down in the lobby. Pretty soon some big sweaty middle manager guy came over and started hitting on me aggressively. When you're not cute, and especially if you're vulnerable-looking, being hit on is practically never a fun experience; the perp is always someone as desperate as this guy who thinks you have no other choice, so he might start unloading on you about all his favorite movies about knights and wizards and shit, and telling you embarrassingly fake things like "you look just like Rebecca De Mornay in THREE MUSKETEERS!" (we don't even have the same hair color) because he assumes someone like you is starved for attention and maybe you're also stupid enough to buy it. I started to panic and, glancing up at the showtimes, I pretended to be persuaded by his praise for HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE because it was conveniently starting in five minutes. I bought a ticket, ate the one for MEMENTO, and settled in for two and a half hours of something that had nothing to do with me. When I got out it was still snowing hard, I was still hungry, and sliding into a pretty unstable mindset. There was only one thing left to do, which was to go to Videoport.

Videoport remains the greatest video store I have ever been to in my life. Yes that includes Kim's. During my semester off I got an incredible education there by just renting whatever looked like it was going to freak me out the most, and I was always duly freaked. They had it all, including a big TV with prefab foods liked "canned vegetarian haggis" lined up on top. I'll never forget the can of pork brains whose instructions read DRAIN BRAINS, STIR, something I often say to myself. At the entrance was an iron gate by a local artist that formed famous movie images; here it is with the comic book store owners who moved in after Videoport left. (I also shopped at the comic book store, where the stereotypically jerky clerk had a vanity plate that said VEGETA and once told me that I could pay for my comics with "something besides money")

I started to get the feeling that only Videoport would prevent me from walking into the ocean. Sure enough, their reliable staff picks shelf showed me a movie I could never have imagined. I still watch it and recommend it on the holidays. I love the tag line "THEY'RE NOT WORKING FOR SANTA...ANYMORE!", as if the shocking part of the movie is that the elves used to work for Santa, they just got laid off or quit or something. Grizzly Adams aka Dan Haggerty plays an alcoholic ex-cop who is about to get evicted from his trailer, so in desperation he becomes a department store Santa. Meanwhile, sad teen Kristen performs pagan "Anti-Christmas" rituals with her friends who she draws as goddesses using a suspiciously swastika-like sigil; turns out she's the last pure Aryan specimen in the world, and her Nazi grandfather is plotting to make her the mother of the master race using elves--or really just one "elf" who you only ever see the top or bottom of, and who can't close his mouth. It's up to rude, loud, smelly, smug, self-pitying Dan Haggerty to leap into action and save Colorado from the fourth reich before it's too late...and like, you really want to see how this plays out, I promise. I was totally captivated. I've seen a lot of questionable movies, but there's really nothing like ELVES. It's so funny and weird that I completely forgot how hungry I was, and I definitely stopped feeling alone. It's not an exaggeration to say that it reminded me of why I was alive, which is to seek out increasingly novel and mind-expanding experiences through art until I'm dead. I would simply have to live another day if I ever wanted to find out whether there could possibly be anything stranger than ELVES out there. It's probably still keeping me going on some subliminal level.

So I guess I'm saying that if you don't know what to do with yourself today, watch ELVES! And if you can't find it, watch CHRISTMAS EVIL on Shudder, which is both a great movie and totally mind-blowing. The End.