#semi vent post?

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

No one:

Some random person, every week since July: Has anyone done this yet? *posts meme redraw of Shadow breaking it to Sonic that they’re gonna have to kill Nine and Sonic going "Damn😔"*

[azuhreidii-arts]

Here comes the rain...finally. 🌧️☔

The heat has been rough throughout April, so at least May's somehow compensating for it.

[cannibal-nightmares]

"prayed like a Father, dusk to dawn tempted the Devil with my song you, my peace of mind, my all, my center if my wants and needs divide me, then I might as well be gone"

[ x ]

[jyoungbloodvo]

(TW: Semi vent? Memory loss/loss of identity)

I know I don't usually make these long text posts, but I've just been needing to get this off my chest, as it has been bothering me for a couple of nights.

For a bit, not frequently but about once every two weeks, I've been having a reoccuring nightmare. The simplest way to describe it would be me slowly losing my sense of self.

In the nightmare, I am simply living life as usual. Things are fine and dandy, nothing out of the ordinary, but slowly, I just start forgetting things. I forget parts of my childhood, memories of my parents, deceased relatives, bits and pieces of my personality. More and more I am just stripped away and replaced with someone else. Their memories, their personality. They look like me, usually. They aren't me. And everyone else knows it.

And then I wake up.

I still have everything that was stripped away in those nightmares. I still have all those memories, experiences, my personality. But for some reason, this scenario replays in my head whenever it feels like.

I fear the death of self. I fear losing myself to something I can't control. I fear seeing everyone around me see someone else emerge from the cocoon that was me. I know I'm not going anywhere. I KNOW I'll never leave. But the thought that I might.

It just lingers.

[phoenixdoesartstuff]

Gimmie art ideas!

Life's been pretty shit lately, so I'm kinda mentally drained. Could use some ideas to draw.

[dumbgoonpup]

Please touch me please touch me please touch me please touch me please touch me please touch me please touch me please touch me please touch me

[sweetpumpkinmouse]

My opinion on ENVY:

Mansion ENVY is pure gold! A heart warmer! Literally cried near the end of episode 5! They were so sweet!

Current ENVY is…yikes. I don’t like it. They sort of reconciled, but I personally wouldn’t date someone who was a bystander to my abuse (workplace abuse???), withdrawal really important information from me, and pretend I didn’t exist (even if it all was for “protection”).

I don’t know, in a certain context I like it. But to me, I love the tragedy of it all in the cannon. Good food for the angst lovers.

I didn’t post this to hate on ENVY or its shippers! I made to get something off my chest! If you like the ship, I’m glad you are able to enjoy something that I can’t.

This is also not a V-hate post! I love V and her character. I just think her actions—in the context of a relationship—are questionable at best even if I do feel bad for her.

The only way I can see current ENVY working is if they were in a poly relationship with Uzi, and I’m not joking.

[cityoftheangelllls]

Pinterest has been throwing way too many unfair violation notices at me lately because they've been taking down a lot of my art reference pins. You know, references for human anatomy. Even those with Barbie anatomy.

I'm sorry but why are they so offended by THE HUMAN BODY.

I'm bout ready to just migrate Pinterest but I'm being held back because I still enjoy using it and I don't know of any similar sites.

[orange-bloomz]

Thanks TikTok for the great suggestions

[get-your-fuckin-star-bitch]

Ok listen Michael (pre-distortion) was in no way a blorbo I will stand by this he was in fact just like me FR listen

The guy tried befriending someone he thought was REALLY cool? Who he really wanted to have as a mentor cause thanks to Emma, (emily???), he felt completely fuckin lost, so naturally, hey, let’s befriend/get the attention of/be liked by this one person who ranks higher than me!

Which seemed to be completely failing but he kept trying with different “tactics”, probably tried following the lead of other employees who seemed to be at least a little bit in her favor, and then finally, out of the blue, she talks to him!

She actually bothers to speak to him about more than just “work progress” or “can I have a coffee” or “the status on that follow-up for the last statement”, etc, etc!

A goal he’d been trying to reach for MONTHS… perhaps even YEARS.

So no wonder he went along with it all almost blindly.

Why would he want to chance his opportunity to finally get the mentoring he’d been trying to work for this whole time, by asking questions? And what if those questions did end up being… “permissible”? Did he really want to know the answers?

Besides. She had to know what she was doing.

She was the head archivist. Not him.

And it turned out she did know what she was doing. Exactly what she was doing. And it was only when he was pounding on the mirror that had once been a door, screaming for her to help, chased by a horrible, twisted thing that he didn’t want to try and make sense of, that he realized just how much she really knew.

All he’d wanted in the first place was to feel like he belonged. To understand, and maybe finally feel comfortable through understanding. To just not be laughed at anymore for asking stupid questions that he obviously should know the answers to.

Instead, he was picked up and discarded, trapped behind another door that had been slammed shut in his face.

Yeah.

He’s… ‘just like me fr’.

[hemeruni]

Aroace erasure makes my blood boil

How in hell do you ever see someone who has openly admitted to not be interested in someone… interested in someone… in both a romantic and or sexual way.

"Hey Hemeruni aren’t you just describing yourself-"

I DONT DO THAT

As someone who’s also Aroace, I want to properly display that in any piece relating to Hemera, and by extension, Hemeruni.

Swap AUs or what not doesn’t count as an excuse to erase a part of that character’s identity to make your badly written dreams a reality.

You don’t benefit anything from that, the only thing you get out of it is my disappointment. God.

[teenyweenyeenymeeny]

ummmm tehe not that I have a Secret Code but. whenever I have posted about wishing it was my birthday that was. um it was always Way more about I wish I was the first thing on everyone’s minds for a whole day than like. I want cake and presents

[scruffedknife]

well you can't get what you want but you can get me

[dumplingsjinson]

so i'm spiralling because he hasn't messaged me at all today, since sending me the good night text last night (which, for context, is him saying "good night, love you most <33" AND YET I'M OUT HERE HAVING THE AUDACITY TO OVERTHINK HIS FEELINGS FOR ME). it's been 24 hours AHAHA. i won't be reiterating what i told my friends but the summary of my overthinking and irrational thoughts boils down to this: "yeah so maybe he regrets saying he's ready to become official with you and is now ghosting you".

now i know i could message him first, but i'm thinking if he messages me first, i'd get the reassurance i need. i know it doesn't make sense but let's be real - when has overthinking ever made sense? trust i'm gonna feel much better when he finally messages me.

anyway i've been venting to my friends about it and i'm glad i have a great support network <333

in saying that, it's funny bc one of my friends was like "i've observed that you overthink more when things in the relationship changes, but it settles down once you get comfy" and i'm like... wait a second why is she right though?? so yeah. that's where i'm at right now.

and i can't say i love being an anxiously attached fucking idiot. i absolutely hate it. i just need to get a grip on myself.

also, one of my favourite coworkers is leaving and today was my last shift with him, so i guess that's making me feel even worse bc i'm starting to really hate this fucking job with how understaffed shit is and now someone i actually talk to like a friend and can banter with is now gone. it makes going to work completely miserable.

[4bs0lut3-s0lv3r]

Ventish.

The body feels like it's Rotting while i'm still in it.

[tana-draws]

my brain is so fucking stupid. I was bullied in fourth grade, my friends were like “actually erm we don’t want to be friends with you :/“ on the second to last day of eighth grade (even though we were all zoned for different high schools and would never see eachother anyway). And because of that my brain is, as my therapist and mother (two different people,) theorized, “hyper vigilant for any perceived social ostrichaztion”. The thing is it’s fucking stupid about it. Sure it has the generic “uwu your friends probably hate you secretly” thing.

But it also. Like: I’ll see a post that is somewhat negative towards a thing I like or a trait I even remotely identify with (including stuff as vague as ‘nervous’ or ‘writer’) and I’ll be like “yeah that makes sense” or “I don’t agree but I also don’t care”. But then my brain will repeat the negative phrase on loop for like a week. And will trigger physical reactions (crying, shortness of breath, etc) in response to it. I’ve actually had public panic attacks over things I give 0 shits about because my brain is a fucking helicopter parent.