#seriously do not play this game if you are epileptic

[mig-murgthenurg]

I was expecting Nour: Play With Your Food to be a cute sensory game of messing around with various foods.

Instead, the result was a fifth dimensional demon popping into existence on my TV and flashing me with bright, disgusting colours, dogshit controls and nonsensical... everything else. Not even five minutes into the first level I was questioning what the fuck any of it had to do with food.

Fuck every other big "betrayal" of video games (i.e. Cyberpunk), this game was like walking into a sweet and unassuming café only to have a clown jump in front of me, turn on a strobe light in my face and shit all over me for good measure.

[questionsonislam]

What are the negative effects of computer games and the internet on children? How can we eliminate these effects? Can you evaluate the issue in terms of the hereafter of the child?

What are the negative effects of computer games and the internet on children? How can we eliminate these effects? Can you evaluate the issue in terms of the hereafter of the child?

"He suddenly stood up and started to shout. He reacted too strongly because he could not kill the man who shot at him. He tried again. He sat down and stood up repeatedly, and tried to kill the person against him. He harmed his opponent seriously. When his opponent fell down drenched in blood, he burst into laughter. The incidents continued. He fought to death and did his best to harm his enemies. He did not stop playing though his mother called him several times. He was so engaged in the game that he was thinking of nothing but the game."

Similar incidents often occur in homes and internet cafes nowadays. Children and young people spend most of their time playing games on the computer. Parents allow computers because they think,''It is necessary to keep up with peers, innovations and technology; it will help my child in his/her studies.'' However, children generally use the computer to play games. Using the computer may start with a good intention but it deviates from the purpose in the course of time. 'Using computers without control", which is the common complaint of parents, is a very difficult problem to solve even for specialists.

How do computer games affect the subconscious of children and their lives in the future? Can games that could affect children positively be presented in a healthy way on the computer?

Computer games can be dealt with in two categories. Firstly, games that can be a means of developing skills, understanding life and inculcating moral values;secondly, games that do not enrich imagination, do not contribute to the world of thought, and that encourage violence and immorality.

The positive effect of games on the mental, bodily and spiritual development of the child depends on the content of the game and the amount of time spent playing games. This amount of time must not be very much or very little. It is possible to establish a balance regarding the issue by educating the child about using time efficiently. Children who spend their time doing unnecessary things can do the same thing when they grow up. To sum up, it is necessary to teach the child the importance of time one way or another.

Time spent unnecessarily in front of a computer screen causes children and young people to be inactivated. This increases stress in children. This inactivity causes accumulation of energy in especially active children and affects their behavior negatively. Discharging the energy from the body through sportive activities is helpful in terms of growth, development and learning to share. Exercise also helps to release growth hormone. Besides, time spent in front of a computer screen deprives children and young people of taking part in cultural activities like useful games, studying, sports, etc.

Most parents complain that their children cannot express themselves well and that they cannot communicate clearly with others. When you ask your child a question, you get either a very short or a predictable answer. Time spent playing computer games has an important effect on it. We see that violence in computer games is increasing day by day. Game industry regards everything permissible in order to attract children. Images and videos that are not suitable for their age cause the subconscious of the children to be shaped. Anxiety, fear, inclination to violence, sudden outbursts and regarding violence ordinary occur in children who are exposed to videos and images containing violence for a long time. The reactions of the children who watch violent films and play violent games change in time; they use more violence against their friends and the people around. They push and kick people when a slight disagreement occurs. Anxiety and sleeping disorders occur in children who are affected by harmful videos and images; their personal is affected negatively.

The anomalies mentioned above are seen more frequently in preschool children since the causes and effects of the behavior involving five senses are not questioned by them. The following incidents can be given as examples regarding the issue: "A 3,5-year old child who used to watch violent films practiced what he saw on TV and stabbed his brother to death. A child who thought he was a cartoon film hero jumped off the seventh floor with the intention of flying. In France, a child who could not be successful in computer games developed epilepsy." Unfortunately, we often hear about similar incidents. We need to provide our children with useful alternative games in order to fill the subconscious of our children with positive qualities like goodness, doing favors, compassion, charity and altruism.

Harmful games prevent children from learning their national culture hence causing cultural erosion. In those games, cultural values of foreign nations are often used; symbols of different faiths are placed in the subconscious of children and our children are affected by them without noticing them. Through these games, Islam is presented like a boogeyman and Muslims are shown like terrorists and targets to be hit.

The children who became computer game addicts are alienated from their environment. These children, who have difficulty in finding friends, become prisoners of computers and are isolated from the community. From then on, the only friend of the child is the computer; even if the child spends some time with his friends, he cannot get rid of the feeling of loneliness. Parents need to provide their children with activities appropriate for their development and to balance the time spent for computer games.

The bad characters shown in many computer games play a negative role in the formation of the child's personality . The messages given in these kinds of games like trying to be strong and powerful, ignoring lives of others, killing in order to live, despising moral values, ignoring feelings of others, not appreciating the people around and categorizing people affect the personality of the child negatively.

Games affect attention and learning too. The images changing frequently on the computer screen cause the child to be distracted, triggering lack of concentration. Besides, too much light might cause epileptic seizures in children.

In conclusion, computer games cause children to tend to regard everything in life as a game, to daydream all the time, to be mentally busy with the theme of the game even after the game, to convey this theme to the games with his friends and to his attitudes, and to reduce his family relationships and the time he spends with his family.

It is not possible to ignore the benefits of computers, which is a reality of this age. What is ideal is to benefit from the positive aspects of computers and to be protected from its negative effects. It is necessary to establish a balance between the time allocated for real games for the child's development and for virtual games. Games

- in which children can take part actively,

- that pedagogues and counselors recommend

- that enable the child to develop a consciousness of history and adopt his own cultural values,

- that support attention and development of reasoning,

- that enables the child to develop qualities like sharing, team spirit, charity, altruism, honesty and diligence,

- that arouse curiosity, facilitate learning and enable a child to love learning,

- that are possible to play with the parents,

- that enables the child to obtain the consciousness of duty and responsibility,

- that develop the ability to imagine, think and invent

need to be preferred.

When the organs like the eyes, ears, etc, which are among the important bounties given to man by the Creator, are kept busy only for entertainment in front of the computer screen, it means they are be used contrary to their purpose of creation. Therefore, the vital responsibility of the parents is to ensure that their children use their faculties like seeing, hearing, feeling and reasoning properly and positively.

[evilisk-played]

Incomplete Games in 2020

They can’t all be winners

Minecraft vs. Zombies 2 System: PC Genre: Tower Defense (PVZ Subgenre)

Yes, you read that right. There exists a Plants vs. Zombies fangame... featuring Minecraft... and also Touhou for some reason... and it’s not even the ONLY game with all of these identifiers. It’s actually a neat game despite the layers of bootlegness here. The only reason I didn’t finish this is because one level, 2-11, is really dumb. Without spoiling anything, it has an interface screw that not only makes it near impossible to win, but I’m pretty sure is gonna send the wrong type of person into a seizure. Now, it may have just been my computer settings (I’m looking at footage at this, and the flashing lights aren’t nearly as bad on other people’s playthroughs) but on my version of the game, with my laptop? Holy shit is the effect disconcerting, and I’m not even an epileptic person.

It’s a neat game with some great ideas for what a PVZ sequel should have been, but fuck doing that level. That game needs an update, and that update needs to remove the flashing lights.

Suikoden System: PS3 (PS1 Classics) Genre: JRPG

I’ve been meaning to play this since that Suikoden spiritual successor got crowdfunded. I gave this game about three hours before dropping it. It just felt like a slog. Nothing in the three hours I played was interesting from a story perspective (oh gee, I sure am surprised that the empire ordering me to collect overdue taxes was actually super duper corrupt*) to the gameplay (three hours in and still no skills. Also JRPG’s with random encounter systems that aren’t like Labyrinth of Touhou or Etrian Odyssey are the worst)

*seriously, has there even been a JRPG where the words “taxes” have been uttered and they haven’t been connected to some super corrupt evil empire?

Crypt of the Necrodancer System: PS4 Genre: Roguelike / Rhythm Game

Add this to the list of games that become unplayable without a functioning d-pad. Seriously, it’s only the one button (the down button) but apparently that’s all it takes

Wild Arms 3 System: PS4 (PS2 Classics) Genre: JRPG

The game I’m most disappointed in not finishing. I’m actually really starting to enjoy the complexity of the battle system (despite how slow it takes for actual battles to play out). No one says I can’t finish it next year, of course, but I do regret putting this game off for so long.

Unravel System: PS4 Genre: Puzzle Platformer

Not sure why I decided to play this as I do not like puzzle games or platformers, let alone puzzle platformers. It’s a perfectly okay game for everyone else, just not for me

Demon Crystals  System: PS4 Genre: Twin Stick Shooter (with RPG elements)

Okay so I’m not actually ashamed to say I didn’t finish this. I picked this up on the cheap, gave it a few levels and eventually dropped it since it didn’t feel worth finishing. Instead of having tailor made levels with interesting challenges like a good little shmups, this game has randomly generated enemies and powerups on each level. The only reason this game is beatable is because 1) it has unlimited continues and 2) there’s a leveling system to ensure that eventually, you’ll be able to clear a level, not because of skill, but because you’re a high enough level to tank more hits.

I really wanted to like this, just because it has a neat, Ghosts N Goblin-style aesthetic but this just ended up being whatever. As a game, it is as passible and playable as it is forgettable.

[bluesey-182]

We Have To Stop Meeting Like This– Chapter 4

holy shit i did it, i finished chapter 4. what?! oh my god. 

important notes on this chapter, please read: so as some of you may know, I have a seizure disorder and it’s been getting out of hand again lately which is part of the reason this update took so long. i’m saying this because i needed to vent about my frustration and it ended up being in this chapter in the form of a character having a seizure. i know it doesn’t have anything to do with the story but, hey, it’s my fic. it should be noted that because my seizures are a result of trauma they present differently than a typical epileptic seizure, so the writing in this is drawing solely from my own personal experience. 

I hope you enjoy this chapter because (while incredibly difficult) it was a lot of fun for me to write.

Here is chapter one, chapter two, and chapter three, as well as the link to the fic on ao3.

Jude was not a fan of Sundays. Sundays meant family dinner, which meant seeing her adoptive father (Vivi’s biological father) which always resulted in a screaming match between him and Vivi. Sundays meant seeing their judgemental step-mother who was convinced the twins would corrupt her son who Jude knew from experience was not as innocent as he seemed. 

Sundays meant dressing up and proper behavior and bit-back anger and–the oldest and most tiresome charade of them all–pretending like she didn’t know that no matter what she did, Madoc would always be at least a little bit disappointed in her.

This Sunday, however, would be made worse by the fact that Jude was not talking to Taryn after the previous night’s events. 

She had, of course, confronted her twin about her weasel of a boyfriend (as well as about the fact that Taryn had left Jude in the dark about the existence of said boyfriend) when Taryn returned home early in the morning. Jude raged to her sister about Locke playing games with them, expecting her sister to take her side and hate the manipulative prick as a team, and watched with satisfaction as her sister cringed away from her words. She had believed, for a moment, that Taryn now hated Locke just as much as she did and together they would destroy him. (As you do with your sister.) But then Taryn had simply said, “I know.”

Jude was speechless for a long moment. “I’m sorry, you what?”

“I knew what he was doing,” she admitted, “he wanted to see if I was loyal enough to stick with him even if he messed with you, and if I could be trusted not to tell you whatever he asked me to keep secret for him.”

“Taryn, do you seriously not see how fucked up that is?!”

“He’s just a little weird.”

“Weird?! He’s straight up a freak! How could you let him do this to us? How could you do this me?”

Taryn’s face was turning red but she refused to look Jude in the eyes. “Don’t call him a freak.”

“So you’re really just gonna take his side on this, then.” It was a question, though Jude didn’t say it like one.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

“And I’m your sister! Are you serious right now?!”

“Jude, stop.”

Jude’s anger was boiling over and choking her. She did as Taryn asked, but only because she was too angry to think of anything else to say. She stormed out of the room and slammed her bedroom door with enough force to rattle the doorframe. 

Hours later as the two were getting into the Jeep to go to their dreaded family dinner, Jude still refused to speak to Taryn.

They pulled up to Madoc’s large estate in silence. Before the car even came to a complete stop, Jude was hopping down from the passenger seat and stomping up the walkway to the front door. She let herself in, kicked off her shoes, and went in search of Vivi while Taryn tried to catch up. 

Jude found her oldest sister playing video games with her half brother Oak in his expansive room on the first floor. Vivi flashed her a quick smile before returning her attention back to the screen. There was a lot of aggressive button smashing and shouting from the both of them and it was clear they had no attention to spare for her. Still, Jude leaned against the doorframe and watched until GAME OVER flashed across the screen.

“You know,” Jude said as Vivi finally turned her full attention on her, “you could have at least given him a chance to win this time.”

Vivi flashed her teeth in an evil smile. “Nope. I was the undefeated champion against you and Taryn in every game we ever played and now I have to be the undefeated champion against Oak.”

“You were only undefeated because you were a cheater.”

“Was not!”

“Hm. And what do you call all the times you tripped Taryn in every race we ever ran?”

Again Vivi flashed that wicked grin before rising from the bean bag currently consuming her on the floor. “That,” she said, “was an accident.”

Just then Jude felt the presence of someone else joining her in the doorway and looked over her shoulder to find her step-mother Oriana eyeing her suspiciously, as if Jude’s proximity to Oak had tainted his being already. With an inward groan, Jude forced herself to face away from Oriana before she could see her eye-roll. Vivi gave her a sympathetic smile that felt more like pity.

“Dinner is almost ready,” Oriana said.

“Already?” asked Vivi.

“Yes, well,” Oriana was not looking at Jude in a way that was obvious she wasn’t looking. “The twins were late.” This time Jude did roll her eyes in full view of her step-mom and Oriana noticed it. “Come, Oak, let’s get cleaned up for dinner.”

Jude moved out of the way as Oak skipped passed her into the hallway with his mother in tow, leaving Jude and Vivi in the vacated space.

“Spill,” Vivi demanded once the two were out of ear shot.

“What?”

“Something’s bothering you. Spill.”

“I’m fine.”

“No. You’re not.” Vivi closed the space between them, pulled Jude the rest of the way into the room, and closed the door. Nevermind the fact that this wasn’t either one of the bedrooms. Against her best protests, Jude was still pulled down into one of the bean bags on the floor as Vivi moved the second one to face her. “Talk to me,” she said more softly this time. 

Jude told her everything. By the end of the story there came a knock on the door. As if summoned by the use of her name too many times, Taryn peeked her head around the cracked open door.

“Madoc wants you guys in the dining room,” she mumbled without looking at Jude.

“Sure thing, Beetlejuice,” Jude shot back.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Jude shoved passed her twin rather roughly and tried to bury the pang of guilt that arose when her sister stumbled into the wall upon having her balance thrown off. 

Madoc was already at the table when Jude entered the dining room. Oriana sat beside him with her back perfectly straight to the point of it looking uncomfortable, but that was Oriana–a perfect portrait of propriety. Oak, on the other hand, was throwing bits of dinner roll at the dog lying on the floor beside him. The dog didn’t seem to mind as it caught the food out of the air time after time with perfect accuracy, much to Oak’s delight.

Following her entrance came Vivi and Taryn. Their heads were bent conspiratorially but whatever words were being exchanged quickly cut off upon their arrival to the room. While Taryn slipped passed Jude with her gaze set determinedly to the plush carpet, Vivi looked at Jude with an expression that promised they’d be talking later.

That should be fun.

With a huff, Jude threw herself down into the seat beside Oak at the table and quickly became the new target of his food throwing. Oriana pretended not to notice.  

“Oak, that’s enough,” Madoc ordered. The boy immediately stopped, though Jude saw him sneak another piece of bread under the table for the dog. “Stop feeding Bosco table food, too.“ 

So he had noticed that after all. 

Oak deflated ever so slightly but not before Jude caught the flash of his adolescent smirk.

"Now, shall we eat?” Madoc asked, though it wasn’t a question. As if they had been waiting by the closed kitchen door for a queue, the cooks Madoc employed (he was that kind of rich) swooped gracefully into the room with trays of food. Plates of chicken and bowls of some kind of soup were set before all of them, as well as central platters of roasted vegetables and potatoes. All of it was fancy and unnecessary and Jude found herself wanting to just eat McDonald’s instead. At least then she wouldn’t have to deal with family dinner night.

While Madoc attempted to wade through the usual topics of conversation–how is school going? what’s new in your lives? have you been taking care of yourselves? yada, yada, yada–the girls responded with only mild interest while shooting glances at each other across the table. Vivi, either being oblivious to the awkwardness or simply not caring, only shoveled food into her mouth happily while occasionally throwing food back at Oak when he attempted to get it into her water glass. 

“Alright, that’s enough.” The abrupt clatter of Madoc’s silverware against his plate brought Jude suddenly out of the fog she’d been stewing in since dinner began. Madoc leaned back in his chair in a show of false calm and he darted his calculating gaze between the twins. “Talk." 

When neither girl supplied a response, Madoc raised his eyebrows and leaned forward to steeple his interlaced hands on the table. "Talk,” he demanded louder.

They began speaking at the same time. Their voices collided together and fought for dominance as Jude raged about Taryn’s betrayal as well as her douche of a boyfriend, and Taryn yelled about Jude’s disrespect for said douche of a boyfriend. Vivi and Oak watched with amusement, Oriana pretending nothing was happening as she continued to eat, and Madoc narrowed his eyes as the girls turned their words from him to each other.

“-so disrespectful!” Taryn shouted. 

“I can’t believe you’d do this to-,” Jude shot back. 

“-just jealous!”

“-is a massive prick! Why can’t you see that?”

“Shut up, just shut u-!" 

Finally, Madoc broke up the shouting with the clearing of his throat. Though it wasn’t loud, it was a sound the girls had grown familiar with over the years and they quickly lapsed into silence. "That,” he said calmly but authoritatively, “is quite enough of that." 

"You’re the one that asked,” Vivi grumbled under her breath. 

“What was that, Vivienne?”

“I said you’re the one that asked. You can’t tell them to talk and then decide they’re done right after.”

“Really? You’re giving me the attitude again tonight?" 

"I don’t recall ever stopping." 

As with every previous dinner the two quickly dissolved into an argument. Vivi resented Madoc for running off when he found out their mother was pregnant with Vivi, and she resented him even more for only deciding he wanted her after their mother was killed in a car accident along with Jude and Taryn’s father. Years of anger still had no resolution and so the two fought nearly relentlessly. 

Completely ignoring the volume already rising in the dining room, Taryn began shouting at Jude again. The noise from all three voices crowded in her mind and her anger and frustration continued to build. She hated these family dinners, hated the years she spent in this house, hated that Vivi could treat Madoc like shit and still have everything handed to her while Taryn and Jude had to claw for every ounce of respect and attention from their adoptive father, hated how Taryn had hurt her, hated how Locke had used her. Suddenly the room began to grow warm. Tremors started in Jude’s fingertips and spread up her arms. Taryn was asking if she was listening to her. Vivi was mocking Madoc in the way of a child, throwing his own words back at him. Madoc was telling her to stop acting like a child, Oriana was telling Oak to go to his room as he continued to throw food from the table at the dog. And then–in a single heartbeat– the voices stopped making sense. 

Jude vaguely processed the sound of Bosco beginning to bark as the old familiar feeling like her brain was turning to ice and melting down the side of her face finally made her realize what was happening. 

"Fuck,” she whispered.

Oriana scolded her for swearing in front of Oak just as Jude collapsed to the floor and the seizure pulled her under.

——–

Sometimes the worst part of a seizure was the reaction from everyone else afterwards. It also didn’t help that this was Jude’s first seizure in over eight years.

When they returned from the hospital Madoc announced that Jude would not be going home. Instead she was forced to stay at Madoc’s where he could keep an eye on her in case she seized again and, although she tried to protest, Jude was in too much pain to win an argument over it. 

She hated being babied. Hated how she was hardly allowed to get up to use the restroom without Madoc jumping to his feet thinking she was going to collapse right there. More than anything she hated having to sleep in her old room that she had spent so many years trying to get away from. The room had that odd feeling of belonging to someone else. She hadn’t slept in this bed since she turned 18 three years ago but she could tell everything was still regularly cleaned. This was her room, but it also wasn’t.

The Jude that slept in this bed wept for her parents every night for years. The Jude that slept in this bed fought for Madoc’s approval before realizing she’d never get it. The Jude that slept in this bed used to lay side by side with her twin sister on most nights, talking and laughing and crying until they fell asleep. She was not that Jude anymore. This was not her home.

Finally, after hours of Madoc watching her like a hawk, he relaxed enough to let her be alone. She collapsed onto the old mattress and stared up at the plastic stars glued to the ceiling above. Every part of her hurt. Parts of her she didn’t know could hurt were aching in a constant, throbbing pain. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to be in her own apartment. Instead she was here.

Madoc didn’t let Jude leave the next day. Nor the next. By the third day she was losing her mind. She was fine, she insisted–but Madoc refused to listen. She was under his watch until he was sure she wouldn’t have another episode, but as the hours went by it felt like he would never be convinced.

——-

Jude was going stir crazy. It wouldn’t be long until she started climbing the walls.

She had to get out of here.

Thankfully her chance at escape came around when Oriana insisted on Madoc accompanying her to pick up her customised dress for some event or another they were attending in the near future. Oriana, having her odd dislike of Jude, insisted that the trip be a couple’s only outing. They seemed to take forever to put their shoes on and find the keys and do all the other BS that came along with leaving the house, and by the end of it Jude was ready to shove them out the door and lock it behind them. 

Finally, blissfully, they left. For the first time in days Jude found herself alone and free–now she just had to get out of this infernal house. She ran up the stairs two at a time to get to her room and dove for her phone before she realized she had no idea who to call. She didn’t want to talk to Taryn or go home after everything that had happened, Vivi would be just as bad as Madoc watching her and treating her like she would break, she didn’t have many friends. She did not want to discuss the events of the last few days and anyone who knew her well would ask about it.

There was one person she could call… Someone who wouldn’t know enough to see something was off and pester her about it, someone who probably wouldn’t even care anyway even if he did notice something was off.

Stealing herself, she scrolled through her contacts until she found the one he had put into her phone and clicked CALL before she could change her mind.

The phone rang once, twice. By the third ring Jude was starting to lose her nerve and was about to hang up when she heard the other line go live.

“Hello?” His voice sounded sleepy, like he had just woken up despite the fact it was nearly four in the afternoon. She tried to ignore the way her stomach fluttered at the gravel of his morning voice.

“Uh, hi,” she said lamely

There was a long pause and she imagined him pulling his phone away to look down at the odd number on his screen before he finally said, “Who is this?" 

"It’s Jude.”

“Oh,” she heard his voice shift into a lighter tone, though she couldn’t place exactly what else she was hearing in his words. “Well, hello there. I see you finally called me.”

“Yeah, I just thought I should probably check in on you and make sure you haven’t crashed into anything else lately. You know, for public safety reasons.”

His laugh was immediate and unrestrained. She heard rustling on the other end of the line like he was sitting up in bed. “I’ll have you know that I’m a perfectly adequate driver when I want to be.”

"I don’t believe that for a second.”

"Ouch. That hurt me, dear Jude. I have been wounded to my core.” 

"Oh please, you don’t have feelings.”

Cardan laughed again. It definitely didn’t make something in her chest flutter.

“So why are you really calling?” Jude would deny till the end of her days that her heart didn’t sink a bit at the thought that perhaps she was bothering him, that perhaps the other night was a fluke and he didn’t enjoy her company enough to see her again. That maybe she shouldn’t have called at all. 

But what did she care, right?

“Uh,” she started again, “Well I think you should buy me some fries again.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Because you clearly have money and I’m hungry and if I have to be in this house for a second more I’m going to set the curtains on fire.” She hadn’t meant to be so honest with that last bit but there was no taking it back. Her cheeks heated.

“Interesting,” he said with no indication to his thoughts on the matter. She cleared her throat in the long silence that followed and was about to hang up when Cardan finally spoke again.

“Alright,“ he said, drawing out the word. "I’m also hungry, so I’ll meet you at the diner in an hour." 

“Uh, actually… Could you pick me up?”

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll die in a fiery accident with me behind the wheel?” He teased.

“Terrified. But I don’t have a ride.”

He chuckled on the other end of the line. “Fine, I’ll see you in an hour still.”

She tried to suppress a smile. “I’m sending you an address now.”

"And Jude?” he said as she was about to hang up the phone. 

She brought it back up to her ear. “Yeah?" 

There was a drawn out pause like he was considering his words. For a moment Jude wondered if he had hung up already and she had just imagined his voice. But then he said, quietly, like a confession, "I’m glad you called." 

Before she could say anything, the arrogance had slipped back into his voice as he teased, "It’s a relief to know that I’m still irresistible.”

Jude barked a laugh that surprised even her. “Intolerable, more like.”

“Keep telling yourself that, dear Jude.” And with that he hung up the phone.

——–

An hour and a half later–turns out that along with being a terrible driver, Cardan was also not punctual–a dented BMW pulled up in front of Madoc’s house blasting some indecipherable music that was quickly turned down as the car rolled to a stop. Through the windshield Jude could see Cardan lean over and pop open the passenger side door with ease.

Must be nice to have long arms, she thought to herself because, owing her official height to just under five feet and three inches, she would have had to crawl into the passenger seat to open the door from the inside. Needless to say she would not have looked as graceful and at ease as Cardan had.

“I hit a cat on the way here,” Cardan said in way of greeting as Jude bent her head to duck into the car. At his words she froze in horror. The bastard had the nerve to laugh at whatever expression was on her face and suddenly she remembered why she hated him. “I’m kidding,” he laughed. 

“You’re an ass.”

“So you’ve told me. Now are you going to stand there halfway out of the car or are you going to get in?”

Jude made to answer when headlights down the street caught her eye. “Shit,” she breathed as Madoc’s car began pulling into the drive. Quickly she hurled herself the rest of the way into the car and slammed the door. “Drive.”

“What’s going on?”

“Drive, Cardan!”

He floored it without further questioning. That is, until they were a few blocks away from the house. “So you wanna tell me what that was about?”

“I didn’t want to deal with my dad.”

“Ah, I see,” he replied in a way that said he really did see. Jude studied his face for a further reaction but found only a carefully blank face. Too late she realized she had stared for a second too long and Cardan’s lips quirked up in a smirk. Heat flooded her cheeks as she quickly tore her gaze away and stared out the window. Ignoring the awkwardness she was feeling, or perhaps not sharing in it, Cardan simply turned the stereo back up to near deafeningly volumes and began to sing along horribly. She turned to inform him he had the musical talent of a dying seal when he flashed his eyes in her direction in a conspiratorial sort of way–he was singing that bad on purpose in an attempt to make her laugh.

Well too bad. He’d have to try harder than that.

With the music up so loud she almost didn’t hear her phone going off. If it hadn’t been for the vibration of it she would have missed it entirely. Cardan apparently noticed it too for he reached for the stereo to turn down the volume but, seeing the caller ID flashing on her screen, Jude waved his hand away and rejected the call from Madoc. Though he didn’t say anything, Cardan raised his eyebrows at her before returning his attention back to the road.

“Wait, is this guy saying he’s the original loser?” Jude inquired as she finally started processing the ruckus playing through the speakers.

“Yes, he is. And if you have a problem with my music then you can take it up with my assistant.” With this he motioned his hand towards an oddly shaped skeleton figurine balanced on the dashboard–his assistant, apparently–and the volume, much to Jude’s irritation, increased even more as Cardan took a sharp, heart-stopping turn into the parking lot of the diner while simultaneously cranking the radio and head-banging. 

Jesus Christ, she was never getting in a car with him again.

The car came to a stop off kilter in a parking space and Jude quickly vacated even before the engine was turned off. Cardan soon followed through the driver’s side window. Like the first time she saw him do it, Jude gave him a weird look over the top of the car and he reacted with only a wicked grin. 

“It’s charming,” he said, indicating the window.

Jude rolled her eyes. “It’s something.”  

The inside of the diner was surprisingly empty. When the hostess approached Jude and Cardan at the door she explained why. “Sorry kids,” she rasped with a voice that was clearly deteriorated after years of heavy smoking, “we’re closing early tonight. We’re not seating anyone else.”

“Oh, no problem,” Jude responded automatically even as her stomach rumbled in protest. Through the corner of her eye she saw Cardan’s eyes flick towards her stomach before jerking back to her face as he tried to suppress a laugh. Apparently the sounds of her stomach were louder than she thought.

Once back outside Jude was trying to console herself about the failed attempt for food when she felt Cardan’s hand gently grasp her arm. She spun around, confused, but instead of looking at her he was looking at something over her shoulder.

“How old are you?” He asked out of nowhere. 

Jude was confused as all hell but answered, “Uh, twenty-one. Why?”

“Because we,” he spoke while backing up towards the car, “are going to the bar.”

“And what if I don’t want to drink?”

“Then I will get smashed alone while you eat bar food.”

She hesitated while weighing the pros and cons of the situation but as her stomach began to rumble again it was decided that bar food was better than no food, and drunk Cardan couldn’t be all that more annoying than sober Cardan, right?

Jude got in the car.

——–

In contrast to the near empty diner, the bar was packed. Given that it was a Wednesday night it would have been surprising had the bar not been located in the center of a college town. Cardan managed to snag a high-top table in the middle of the room as soon as they entered and proceeded to order a complicated drink order that Jude followed with a request for nachos.

“You sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Cardan asked as the bar waiter wrote down their orders. “Your mood when I picked up was practically shouting for a mixed drink.”

Jude stared him down, contemplating his words, while he watched back with a crooked, lazy grin pulling at the corners of his beautiful mouth. “You know what?“ She answered in challenge to his look. "Fuck it. I’ll have one of whatever he ordered, please,” she directed this last bit to the waiter because she could, in fact, use a drink after the events of the last few days.

"Oh darling,” Cardan teased with his low sultry voice. “I don’t think you’ll be able to handle what I’m drinking.”

Egotistical dick. “Stop being an ass." 

Cardan simply winked when Jude rolled her eyes at him. Oh, how she hated how her heart skipped a beat.

When their drinks were delivered minutes later Cardan took his glass and threw all of its contents back in a single go. His eyes, still holding whatever challenge they had issued between them, held steady to hers until his drink was gone. With a clatter he slammed the glass back onto the tabletop and leaned forward with his chin cradled lazily in his palm, elbow on the table, eyebrows raised in anticipation of her response.

God, she really did hate him. Leaning across the table so their faces were inches away from each other, she whispered, "I hate you.” Once again his mouth split into the wicked grin and, before she could second guess herself, she took her own glass and took a hearty swallow of the foul drink. Fire shot down her throat, closing off her airway for an uncomfortable second, before the liquid settled in her stomach like a burst of flames, but she refused to give Cardan the satisfaction of seeing her choke. Instead she returned his raised-browed look across the table and set her features with stubborn determination.

After a moment, Cardan laughed. It was the most irritating response he could have made and yet the sound of it made the liquor dance in her stomach. 

“You’re something else, you know that?” His voice was playful. Still, the words rubbed her the wrong way.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She growled defensively.

Cardan leaned back with his hands spread out in surrender, though the grin on his face took away the effect of the action. “You’re the scariest person in any room and you’re not afraid to make sure people know it." 

Was she the scariest person in any room? It was some comfort to know that she gave off "don’t fuck with me” vibes. Still, she didn’t know how to respond to Cardan’s words. So instead she saved herself from having to respond by taking another shot of her drink. Somehow it burned more the second time. She coughed.

“God how can you drink this shit?” She asked once the coughing fit subsided. Cardan, on his part, laughed through the whole thing. 

“I’m a trained professional.”

“Sounds like a pretentious way of saying you drink too much.”

“Maybe so.” A shrug. “But you can’t prove anything." 

"Oh yeah?” She waved the waiter back over to their table and requested two more drinks–never mind the fact that her glass was still a quarter of the way full. “If you get drunk faster than me then you’re obviously all talk.”

“Jude, are you challenging me to see if I can outdrink you?" 

Instead of a verbal response Jude narrowed her eyes at him and tilted up her chin. A burst of laughter came from deep within his chest.

"It’s your funeral, then." 

——-

Hours later they were several drinks in. Jude was teetering on the edge of wasted. Cardan, on the other hand, was putting his money where his mouth was and was only slightly tipsy. Jude hated to lose. 

"So, Jude,” Cardan started conversationally, “do you have a last name?”

“No it was stolen by faeries.” She slurred only slightly.

“Oh, you little liar,” he purred.

“You little… prick. How are you not drunk?”

“I told you.” He jammed his thumb towards his own chest. “Professional.” In spite of his otherwise carefully composed behavior his arm slipped off the edge of the table when he tried to lean against the surface. Jude laughed, a bubbly but taunting laugh that she would never have made while sober.

“So you are drunk!” She didn’t know why but this brought her a great sense of victory.

Cardan frowned down at the table like it was personally responsible for his slip up, making Jude laugh harder until a few small snorts escaped. “Perhaps a bit,” he muttered.

“Did you eat all my nachos?!” Jude gasped as she became aware of the empty plate sitting in the middle of the table. 

“No, I’m afraid that was all you.”

“Liar.”

“I don’t lie." 

"No?" 

"Nope.” That grin that had been making Jude’s stomach flutter all night returned to his face where–she thought–it belonged. 

“Prove it,” she challenged.

“How?" 

"I don’t know. Tell me a truth.”

“My name is Cardan.”

“Obviously.”

“I’m a little bit drunk." 

"I can tell.”

“And you’re beautiful." 

At that Jude was completely caught off guard. Trying to recover quickly before he noticed she stammered, "Well… now I know you really are a liar." 

"And why is that?" 

Was the bar getting warmer? “Because,” she started but realized she was too drunk for this question. Hoping he was also too drunk to notice her avoiding the question Jude drank the dregs in her near empty glass so she wouldn’t have to answer. When she finally worked up the courage to look back up at Cardan he was smiling at her. This smile was different than the others. It was the smile of someone who didn’t know they were smiling–completely unrestrained and goofy in nature. The bar definitely was getting warmer and Jude’s face was on fire.

“Duarte,” she said into the silence.

Cardan was appropriately confused by this random outburst and (sadly) his smile slipped as he furrowed his brows. “What?”

“You asked if I had a last name. It’s Duarte.”

“Jude Duarte,” he tried it out, dragging her name out in a way that felt like a caress. “Hello Jude Duarte.” His smile came back. “I’m Cardan Greenbriar. Would you like to dance with me?”

“What?” 

“Dance with me.” This time the smile that came back to his face was the cocky one she wanted to slap off his face. Or, possibly, do other things to get it off his face. “I promise not to step on your toes.”

Jude felt at a loss. She looked around her at the other patrons of the bar. At this hour everyone else was just as drunk–if not more so–than her and Cardan. They were shouting and moving around and throwing things at each other and paying absolutely no mind to the two of them. Still. “No one else is dancing.”

“And?” When she spun her head back around to face him he was again leaning on the table with his chin cradled in his palm. Watching her with the single-minded focus of a cat. He was challenging her. But something in his eyes made her heart flutter.

Fine. She wasn’t going to back down from another challenge. “Fine.”

A crooked grin much like the Cheshire cat’s dominated his face. Without a moment’s hesitation he was on his feet, taking her hands, and pulling her up with him. Before she could process anything, Cardan had her in his arms, his face inches away from hers reeking like alcohol as his breathing got heavier, pupils blown wide while he looked into her face. He really was quite tall and having to tilt her head so much while this intoxicated was making her dizzy. Without thinking, she rested her head against his chest as they danced to the song playing too loudly over the bar speakers. 

“If I let go, would you hold on? Would we fly?” Sang the song.

Cardan rested his head on top of hers. The feeling was both pleasant and overwhelming and she had to close her eyes to keep from falling.

“Why were you upset when I picked you up?” The words were so quiet, spoken into her hair like a secret, that she almost missed them.

“What do you care?” She murmured while lacking all of the challenge she’d been using all night.

“I’m not a complete ass, you know.”

No. He wasn’t.

“Is it safer if we just say that we tried?”

“Family dinner ended in a trip to the hospital.” She shouldn’t have said that.

“What?” The alarm was clear in Cardan’s voice as he put enough distance between their bodies to see her face. But she didn’t want to explain and she didn’t want to look at him when his eyes were that full of feeling. Didn’t want to analyze what was in that look. More forcefully than intended, she pulled their bodies back together and wrapped her arms around him to keep him in place this time.

“And I’m stressed about school.” Although this wasn’t a complete lie, it had nothing to do with why she had been upset. It was only a way to steer the conversation away from her confession. “Statistics is kicking my ass.”

When he laughed it was low and she heard it from where she had her ear pressed to his chest. 

“Are we laughing at the danger? Are we dancing after death?”

“I can help you with that tomorrow after classes.”

“No, it’s okay.” By now her words were nothing but a whisper.

“Nonsense,” his replied softly. “We’ll meet at your place.”

Too drunk to protest anymore and too desperate to pass the class, Jude reluctantly agreed.

“Are we laughing at the danger? Are we dancing after death, you and I?”

As the song came to its end Jude disentangled their bodies. The heat spreading in her cheeks made it difficult to look him in the face. Her eyes settled instead on his throat. “It’s late.” She pulled out her phone in a desperate need to have something to do with her hands. The screen announced there were four missed calls from Madoc and two messages to punctuate it. Not bothering to see what he had said, she shot him a text saying “i’m fine i’ll call tomorrow” before slipping the device back into her pocket. “I should get home.”

“Let me walk you?” Cardan asked tentatively.

They walked back to her apartment in silence. Whether it was from their drunken state or something else, the silence wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Halfway to her building Jude shivered from the chill wind and, without much thought, Cardan shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. The fabric consumed her both physically and in its warmth. The world was swaying. Jude tipped to the side a bit before Cardan reached out and righted her.

Upon the arrival at her door Jude turned to lean against the wood while she faced Cardan. His hair was a mess from the wind and from running his hands through it. His eyes shone from the alcohol and she imagined something else. He was beautiful and she couldn’t deny it. Also undeniable was the feeling inside her of want. She wanted in a way that almost scared her. The words slipped out of their own accord–embarrassing in their obvious meaning, “Would you like to come in?”

Cardan gave her a small smile–but it was sad. Taking a step closer to her he reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. All it was was a gentle brush of lips against knuckles but it felt like so much more as his eyes never left hers. 

“Ask me again when we’re both sober,” he said softly.

And he was gone.

——–

songs mentioned in this chapter:

in the car they were listening to original me by yungblud and dan reynolds, and they were dancing to dancing after death by matt maeson.

[marculees]

Happy International Epilepsy Day to all of my followers and fellow epileptics!

For those who don’t know, epilepsy is a neurological condition which affects the brain and is most commonly attributed to seizures though holds other effects such as chronic loss of energy, memory, motor and cognition errors. There are different types of seizures and depending on which form of epilepsy someone may have, their seizures can be different or non-existent. I myself suffer from photosensitive epilepsy but there are more types out there and I wanted to make this post to share a little bit of info and help make others more aware of the condition and what to do in the case of someone having a seizure, as well as to be made aware of some triggers. More than 50,000,000 people are diagnosed with epilepsy across the globe and it is a condition which is not spoken of enough in schools, communities, and other aspects and institutions in our lives. I encourage any people who suffer from epilepsy to share their own tips and experiences for both those experiencing it for themselves and to educate others on how to care for a loved one with epilepsy. This is a really short and mostly personal post so I’d love to see it grow!

Some types of epilepsy

Photosensitive epilepsy: This is the type I suffer from! It is triggered by flashing images and other types of stimuli which f*ck with our heads (think of those weird optical illusions or hypnosis things). These send “KJASGLDKJVGLKSJVGSJ” signals to our brains and can cause us to have seizures. You ever wonder why some (and I wish more did) TV shows or other forms of visual media put a flashing warning at the start of their programme? Its for things like this! This is just a very personal trigger but for some weird reason playing the Wii makes me have seizures?? Something to do with the speed patterns of the game? Don’t ever deliberately flicker lights on and off or show a photosensitive epileptic a flashing video/gif, or else I’ll personally hunt you down... :) *cough*please tag flashing gifs with trigger warnings*cough* do not use #epilepsy because that tag has been ruined for the epilepsy community and we had to make up our own since that was just a spam of triggers rather than actual support and fellow epileptics thank you*cough*

*I’m not confident in describing other types so if any other epileptics would like to describe their own then that would be great! Photosensitive epilepsy affects only roughly 3-5% of all epileptics so there are definitely more common types to be explained >.<

Some types of seizures

There are more than 40 different types of seizures but these are some of the most common. Some are easier to spot than others and everyone’s case is different. Some seizures can involve a mix of different types so it is important to know how each affects the individual. It is always best to ask the person you know for what type they have most often, but keep in mind that while they may look fully conscious during a seizure, they are not and so they won’t remember the actual act itself but rather the before and afters!

Absence seizures: These seizures can often go unnoticed, as the person appears to space out. However, they are rarely a once-off incident and have a tendency to happen multiple times a day which can lead to confusion, loss of time and information absorbing, and general feelings of unsteadiness. In settings like schools or meetings where attention is crucial, a person who experiences these types of seizures is at a disadvantage because their loss of consciousness can lead them to losing out on valuable information and disrupt their work. While these seizures do usually last a few seconds, they can be worrying for the person because afterwards they are aware they have just have just had a seizure and yet since it is not very visible, it can be hard to share their worries with others. They are not just people daydreaming or having their minds wander, they are seriously spacing out of consciousness and should not be ignored or dismissed for the lack of visible symptoms >.<

Grand mal/tonic-clonic seizures: A more frightening sight, tonic-clonic seizures are the ones often dramatised by media and stereotypes alike. These are the types of seizures where a person will suddenly collapse, followed by stiff and jerky movements which can last up to a minute or few. In simple terms (and because I hate science lol), the brain is being overloaded with signals and can’t keep up! These are the types of seizures I experience and while I can’t speak for everyone, I usually show some warning signs before I have one; I’ve been told I go very very pale (and I’m a ghost already), my lips will also go white and my pupils will dilate while staring into space before I collapse. My limbs tighten and stiffen up (the tonic phase) and I’ve been told I have a very strong grip! Then my arms in particular will begin jerking (clonic) and while I might look like I’m having a little breakdance, the last thing I want to do is break/hurt something. These seizures involve a LOT of energy and afterwards, the person will usually fall asleep because their muscles and brain have been working at 100000% and are very sore and tired, especially if they have injured themselves during it. I had one at a sleepover while getting up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and I ended up falling against the tiled wall in the bathroom and my head and jaw were in pain for days after :(

*There are others such as auras/partial seizures, but I’d rather let someone more experienced and knowledgeable explain them!

How to help someone having a seizure

While it is instinct to jump in and help, you should NEVER try to stop a seizure. You should let the person seize, but if it lasts for more than five minutes then you should definitely call an ambulance! The best thing to do is to make the environment as safe as possible so that the person does not injure themselves while seizing. This can include moving away furniture (e.g. tables) which may cause injury if they hit off them, placing something soft under their head (e.g. pillow, coat), turn them onto their side (especially if they are vomiting too), and what I think is most important is to stay with them till the end. I’ve had nightmares of people laughing and recording me having a seizure, so if possible, try to get other people to give some respect and privacy and leave the epileptic and attendant in peace. The tonic-clonic seizures are very embarrassing for the person and can involve more than just jerking movements but full-on loss of control over bodily functions too. It sounds yuck but when I first started having seizures, I’d lose control of EVERYWHERE and would somehow manage to both piss and shit myself while vomiting at the same time (weird flex, but okay). The epileptic is totally unaware of any of this until they wake up later and have someone explain to them, so try to also remember how long the seizure lasts and note their signs before and what then happened. It helps a lot when we then go to visit our neurologist and also for future reference to educating others on our own personal cases! There is a weird urban legend that you should put a spoon in the person’s mouth while they have a seizure but DO NOT do this, in fact don’t try to touch their mouth at all. Just give them space and give them comfort and reassurance afterwards, because not only is frightening to watch, but its also frightening to not know what happened at all. Let them lie down and rest because its very likely that their head and entire body will be sore after moving so much and so tightly too, so save a hug for later <3

Prevention, treatment and hope?

Fortunately, a lot of people grow out of their seizures as they get older! While there is no telling of what causes the condition, you’ll be happy to know that it may not haunt you or your loved one forever. I had my first seizure when I was eight years old and now I’m almost twenty and have been seizure-free for four years! While the condition never fully leaves, the seizures can become less common and sometimes stop altogether. How we measure this? Tests and scans such as an E.E.G are used to identify the brain’s responses to triggers and how strong or weak they are. E.E.Gs are like visiting a really shitty hair stylist who sticks a load of wires on your head and then proceeds to make you stare at a flashing light lmao the weird glue they use is so gross and I immediately want to wash it out after. Those who suffer from epilepsy will take medication (usually pills though medicinal c*nnabis has become popular) to lower their risks of having a seizure, but it is important to note that these medications never imply prevention or cure. Just because someone is taking medication does not mean they won’t have a seizure, they are just less likely than without! In some extreme cases, surgery can be an option and part of the brain may be removed.

Sadly though, not everyone is lucky enough to grow out of their seizures. Those with a chronic condition can have up to multiple seizures a day and never find peace. There is no definitive cure yet but the best thing to give to these people is hope and support. Let them know that you care for them because in a world that suddenly becomes non-existent to them for those few seconds or minutes, its nice to know that someone exists and loves them regardless of their condition. 

Epilepsy affects everyone differently and not only are there medical implications, but social also. Some people will be less vocal about their condition to employers and fear losing employment opportunities, for example. As a young person, I rarely go on a night out and actively avoid nightclubs (which I don’t like the idea of anyway) but it can lead to a feeling of exclusion and isolation from friends and peers, along with dating. Its small things that unless you have to worry about, others don’t really notice. From my own experience, I now try to avoid going on drives on sunny days because I have had seizures from the sun flickering through trees or bouncing off windows and shiny surfaces. In Ireland anyway, as long as I’m seizure-free for one year then I am allowed to drive but I would still be fearful and find it hard to ever travel alone. There are many things I can think of but these come to mind first because they affect my daily life a lot; I’m a student who commutes to college every day and back, and the town is known for its nightlife and partying. Some people have other ‘habits’, such as taking showers over baths in case they seize and you know, drown themselves. We all take preventive measures but there is no cure or safety belt. Like I said, it affects everyone differently so always consult the person you know. It lets them know you care and it helps you to help them too!

There are several great epilepsy-centered blogs on Tumblr and I’m too shy to tag them here... However just know that a whole supportive community is behind the ‘#actually epileptic’ tag and that you are not alone in your condition, or that if you have any further interest or questions then there are others out there who can help share their knowledge and experience with you. Thank you for reading all of this and I wish you a happy and seizure-free day <3

[sudsyrants]

In a Life Far, Far Away

The Chronicles of Jedi Academy: Part IV

It’s been what, ten months since I announced a written piece on Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy? What the fuck has been keeping me from writing? Well, nothing. I’m just terribly lazy. However, I’ve now mustered the energy to get rid of the calories needed for writing another article. I have to admit it’s one clusterfuck of a challenge to write about a game i’ve spent thousands, maybe even tens of thousands of hours on (I’m not good at math). Where do I begin? How do I treat the reader? Do I assume you’re into this game or do I assume you don’t even know the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars? Let’s not go so far though. I won’t spend space on any lore or anything that’d require you to know much more about Star Wars than laser swords and space helmets. So let’s get started with the first part of this… Trilogy? We’ll see.

I figure a good place to start would be the gameplay, so let’s go over the story first, and yeah, spoiler warning. You’re playing a dude called Jaden and you’re becoming a jedi or something and your master is Luke Skywalker or Kyle Katarn and there’s this annoying tard called Rosh Penin who is your best friend and you choose whether you wanna be a sith or jedi kinda like an RPG but then Tavion shows up and wants to kill jedi so you kill her, i guess. To be honest, I haven’t played the single player mode much but I guess that’s as good a summary as any. I don’t give a shit though, because the reason anyone would play this game is because of the Multiplayer.

When I teased about writing this shit, I mentioned the amazing saberplay and how it was crude. Let me clarify this: you’re pretty much in complete control of your swings. Wanna do a horizontal swing? Press left mouse button while pressing D or A. Wanna do a diagonal swing? Then there are 4 possible combinations, left/right uppercut using LMB+S+D/A, left/right down-swing using LMB+W+D/A, or just regular down-swing with LMB+W.  This differs from many other Star Wars games where you press a button to do a set combination, or swing in a set way. In Jedi Academy however, you can jump, crouch and move in any direction while swinging in pretty much any which way you can. You can delay hits, you can poke, wiggle (more on this later) and for those of you who enjoy set animations of swings you can do those too, but they suck.

You can choose between single saber, dual sabers and staff saber. While dual users and staffers are able to use speed and blockbreaking gay ass motherfucking glitches which makes the game unplayable for us real noble knights using single saber. Of course single saber users have some nasty tricks up their sleeves too: wiggle, or poke. While using red stance with single saber you can either wiggle the mouse slightly in and out of your foes hitbox to maximize the damage. Of course you can do this trick with staff, duals and with yellow and blue stance too, but that requires more precise epileptic movement. If you’re really cool, you can go melee. Just run into a ferocious free for all and just fucking wail on those bastards. You’ll die, but you’ll die in a blaze of humiliating glory.

The choice of nobles

And then there’s these people...

So, you’ve got sabers and melee, what else? Weapons and force powers. Most servers only permit sabeers and melee, but sometimes admins will grant you the boon of either force powers (empower/emp) or weapons (mercenary/merc) and all hell breaks loose. The chaos that ensues is unheard of in modern games with online capabilities I know of. Sure, GTA Online probably gets chaotic, but there are still rules, somewhat… In JKA, there are no rules. Just throw mines all over the fucking place and wait for people to walk into them and die like an unsuspecting kid walking into a field of death.

The typical death area in Jedi Academy

Rules though… I’ll end with this paragraph on, ugh… rules… So, while JKA has no official moderation or anything, there are rules which are enforced in various degrees on different servers. Of course you can’t harass people, except sometimes you can and sometimes the admins will join in the harassment. You can’t be a general asshole or a troll or spam the chat, unless you’re one of the alright troll spammers. The one rule that IS enforced, kinda, is the dreaded “no laming rule”. “What’s laming”, you ask. Laming is when you attack a player with their saber down and/or chat bubble up. Even though the most commonly played format is Free For All and the objective is to kill every single little piece of shit that comes across you; unarmed people are protected, despite the fact that they can pull their saber up and defend themselves like actual fucking human beings. Some retards will run away instead of retaliating and cry to the admins. Real men/women will take the challenge and valiantly fight you. The laming rule is what confuses many new players, and many new players quickly become the most vehement defenders of this bullshit rule. For some reason killing people in an online game is tantamount to actually beating them to death in real life. Seriously, grow some balls, clits or whatever ye got twixt yer legs.

Some people get creative with their names

And with this, I end this first segment of The Jedi Academy Chronicles. I figure you have some loose idea about what the game is about now and you’ll be ready for some more meaty material of what actually goes on in the game, and my life within it. Take it easy, shitkickers.

[thornstocutyouwith]

|| The Basics ||    Name: Calypso Piper Hisoka    Nickname(s): Caly( Only by family) Age: 12/18-30 (Depending) ➥Birthday: September 17, 2152  ➥Birthplace: New York            ➥Sign: Virgo                 Moon: Taurus                   Mercury: Libra                          Venus:                                 Mars: Nationality: Half Japanese- Half American Hometown: New York Current Residence: Living with his family/Homeless. Occupation: Student/Bounty Hunter Income: $0-$10,000 ( roughly) Talents/Skills: Yo-yo tricks, playing the guitar, playing the piano, lying, sorting things, playing the drums, martial arts, hiding, singing,tracking, lockpicking, stage Magic, acting. Salary: None Birth order: Youngest Child. Gender: Male ➥Preferred Pronouns: He, him, his Sexual Preference: Unknown    Species: Human Intelligence Level: 113 MBTI: ISTP     Introvert(44%) Sensing(1%) Thinking(25%) Perceiving(61%) You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (44%) You have marginal or no preference of Sensing over Intuition (1%) You have moderate preference of Thinking over Feeling (25%) You have distinct preference of Perceiving over Judging (61%). {Bio} (Coming eventually)        || Personal & Relationships||    Relationship skills: Aware of his own Feelings, Self sufficiency, resilience, acceptance, doesn't like to be touched or handled by people he doesn't know. Parents: Drama and Ashlin  Status: Unknown how he feels about them. Siblings: Lucy and Lucas Status: Strained, mostly because he's blackmailing them for their incest activities. Significant Others: Unknown (9) Ex-Significant Others: Unknown ( 9) Children: None Best Friends: Unknown( 3) Pets: None Rivals: Unknown Enemies: Unknown ( A lot) Education: High School ( Dropped out a few months before graduation) Strengths:  Creativity, Curiosity, Bravery, Zest, social intelligence, playfulness, forceful, spontaneous, adventurous, independent, creative. Weaknesses: Obstructive, Pushy, Loose-tongued, Undisciplined, Sloppy, Aggressive, Chaotic, Vague, Reckless, arrogant, selfish. Introvert or Extrovert?: Introvert How does the character deal with anger?: Usually by taking it out on other things or people, mostly other things. ➥With sadness?: He'll go into hiding.    ➥With conflict?: He tries to avoid it, but when he can't, he make sure to end it.         ➥With change?: He's fine with change, out with the old and all that.                 ➥With loss?:  He can't stand thinking of losing anyone. He will break down if he's particularly close to the person. But he tries not to get too close to people. What does the character want out of life? To just do what he wants to, really. What would the character like to change in his/her life? Probably that he's strayed too far away from his family, that he hardly even knows them in adulthood. What motivates this character? Getting money, having freedom, having fun, taking risks. What frightens this character? The dark, Ghosts, falling, animals. What makes this character happy? Books, music, risks, video games, candy. Is the character judgmental of others? Yes. Is the character generous or stingy? He is stingy. Is the character generally polite or rude? He is rude. Who were they in school? The energetic mute. Occupation they wanted as a child: To be in a band. Living conditions growing up: Middle Living conditions now: Poor Criminal Record: Breaking and entering, theft, stealing cars, assault, reckless endangerment of an underage child, illegal use of explosives, drugs, driving and drinking, fleeing a cop, identity theft, illegal hacking. How does Character see himself/herself? Reckless, brave, cunning,  smart How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Worthless and stupid. How self-confident is the character? Pretty self-confident. Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Emotions, for the most part. What would most embarrass this character? Having to show his softer side in public. Morality (Bold One Per Section): Lawful / Neutral / Chaotic ||| Good / Gray / Evil - You are 47.2% Evil. You are 64.1% Chaotic.    Religious Belief: None Glasses or contact lenses?: Glasses Character Tropes: Catalyst Hero, Trickster, Fool, Shadow, The Child, The Hermit, The Devil, The Priest, Addict, Monkey, Dragon, Clown, Beggar, Destroyer, Detective, Visionary.    Primary Goals In Life: Following his dreams and being free to do what he wants with his life. Character's short-term goals in life: Not dying. Getting cash from bounty's. Sex. Threatening to expose his siblings incest. Character's long-term goals in life: Visiting other countries. Exposing his siblings incest to their parents.    Languages Known: English, Japanese    Secrets: He knows about his brother and sister's incest. He is a sex addict. As well as a sadist, a sexual sadist ( On occasion). He killed one of his girlfriends.  Hates cats. Loves watching children's tv shows, still. Most of the things that happened to him at school. Is a sexual deviant. ( more will be added later. ) Deepest secret: Has a journal of his fears and secrets. Biggest fear: Fear of being bound. (Merinthophobia) Happiest memory: The day he got his first electric guitar. Loneliest moment: When one of his teachers removed him from class and told him he would grow up to be worthless and stupid, then just let him sitting in the hall.    Quirks/Mannerisms/Habits: Is a habitual liar and has made up a family that does not exist. Eats like a child even as an adult. Believes in ghosts. Obsessed with children's Cartoons. Shows up unannounced. Always steals the sweets. Has a leather fetish. Is embarrassed of their family heritage. Takes food off other people's plates without asking. Does not like to share hygiene items like hairbrushes, chap-stick, or razors. Keeps a marker on them at all times so they can draw weird things in public restrooms. Has unresolved childhood issues. Is constantly found only partially dressed. Has a weakness for games of chance. Never leaves home without wearing pants, but never wears pants while at home. Is scared of Neon colors. Always blows bubbles in to their drink when they have a straw, even as an adult. Has attempted voodoo. Dresses as a vampire at every costume party, fancy dress party, Halloween, and formal event. Makes paperclip jewelry. Won't drink without a straw. Has had sex with more people than they have seriously dated. Cannot sleep while in the vicinity of a cat. Gets lost all the time. Colors their hair crazy colors every other week. Likes to file their fingernails to sharp points because it makes them feel more dangerous. Is totally responsible for everything that goes wrong. Knows that they are being watched (by the readers). Has an accent that no one knows how to place. Is a heavy sleeper. Thinks cats can see their soul. Sneezes uncontrollably whenever someone talks about cats, reads something about them, or looks at illustrations of any type featuring them, but has no allergy to interacting with the animal itself. Is left-handed, but tries to pass as being right-handed. Wears either mismatched socks or shoelaces. Has a tendency of laughing at the most inappropriate times. Is double-jointed. Treats all of their friends like they are personal evil minions. Goes to the gym at 3am because 'That's when the ghost is there.' Wears removable tattoos. Steals things from people they think need to be punished for something. Has very bad taste in relationships. Talks in their sleep. Eye-rolling, Potty mouth, Snapping fingers, Stuttering, Toying with objects before them, binge drinking, smokes, eats a lot of sugar, is addicted to video games, Still plays with children's toys, clubbing, picks at mouth with his tongue. Loves anime.    Savvies: Music, Tech, Fact, Media Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): Rebel, Punk, Goth, Steampunk, Cosplay. How does he/she dress?: Mostly black or dark yet colorful colors on normal days. Usually with purposefully placed tears in the pants and such, and risky looking outfits. Loves mesh, baggy, tight fitting and/or leathery clothing. Hobbies: Playing the electric guitar, piano and drums. Singing. Hunting bounties for cash. Boardgames. Gambling. Chess. Cosplaying. Crafts. Keeping a journal. Learning an instrument. Legos. Modeling. Origami. Reading. Videogame's. Renaissance Faire. Writing Music/songs. Speech patterns: Accented, mellow, chilled, stuttering. Disabilities: Dyslexic, Epileptic. Greatest flaw: Being a risk taker. Best quality: Easily figuring out and controlling a situation. Illnesses/Allergies/Allergic/exe: Seizures, Migraines Addictions: Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, Food.        || Physical ||    Hair Colour: Light Brown Eye Colour: Bright blue Skin Colour: Tan Body Modifications: Has several ear piercing, tongue piercings, lip piercings and chest and lower. Build: Slender / Scrawny / Bony / Fit / Athletic / Herculean / Babyfat / Pudgy / Obese / Other    Height: 6′9″    Weight: 146 Health: Very low Distinguishing features: his ears a slightly pointed. Has very, very faint freckles over the bridge of his nose. Scars/Birthmarks: Has several birthmarks on his body, on under his left eye, another two on the right side of his face, five on his back, one inside his ear, and three on his left arm. Along with those, are several scars from his recklessness as a child, one of which cuts down on the nostril of the right side of his nose.  Another on his neck and four on his shoulder.  As well as a ton on his knee's and legs.    Abilities/Powers: Prophecy Construction    Restrictions: He hasn't unlocked his powers fully yet, if at all really. The power triggers sever seizures that incapacitate him and prevent him from learning how to use his powers at the current moment. And this will continue to happen in the foreseeable future, even if he is able to figure out the easiest part of it, that is the prophetic visions he receives while having a seizure. This power also has other unknown effects and restrictions to him.   || Favorites ||    Favorite Food: Candy    Favorite Drink: Koolaid    Favorite Pizza Topping: Taco    Favorite Color:  Steel Blue    Favorite Music Genre: Punk/rock    Favorite Book Genre: Dystopian    Favorite Movie Genre: Fantasy    Favorite Season: Fall    Favorite Butt Type: Firm    Favorite Swear Word: Fuck    Favorite Scent: Cookies Favorite Sayings: " I may not be there, But I am closer than I was yesterday." “That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable.” “I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted, until the dark became my world and I could see.” “Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.” “My silence holds a plethora of syllables I am too afraid to say.”“They call you heartless; but you have a heart and I love you for being ashamed to show it.” " And every time I look at you, it hurts." "First of all, you don't know me. Second of all, you don't me." “Life is wonderful. It’s a gift to be alive, to see the sun and breathe the air. And there isn’t really anything else.”    Favorite Quote:   “Knowledge is not made for understanding; it is made for cutting.”        || Fun Stuff ||    “Boss” Theme Music: Love The Way You Hate Me/ Hand Grenade/ Hiding Place /    Bottom or Top:  Top    Loud Burper Or Soft Burper: Loud    Sings In The Shower: Yes / No    Likes Bad Puns: Yes / No Sins: Lust / Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Pride / Envy / Wrath Virtues: Chastity / Charity / Temperance / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience / Justice Hogwarts House: Gryffindor Element: Darkness Big5: Openness Jugian: INFP ( Alternative Type) MOTIV: Offbeat (Materialist 45% 54% Offbeat 81% 48% Thinking 21% 51% Intimate 21% 56% Vital 50% 54%) Left/Right Brain: Right

[aion-rsa]

Cyberpunk 2077’s Epilepsy Concerns Represent a Bigger Problem

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

A recent Game Informer article reveals that Cyberpunk 2077 features several notable sequences that may cause epileptic seizures and other health risks.

The report comes from Game Informer editor Liana Ruppert who describes herself in the article as “someone that does have seizures myself due to an injury from my time when I was active duty.” She goes on to explain that her condition prohibits her from being able to play certain games and that she “suffered one major seizure” while playing Cyberpunk 2077.

Sadly, Ruppert also revealed later on Twitter that some people have started sending her videos designed to induce epileptic reactions in response to her reporting on this subject.

Warning: I’ve been sent hundreds of videos disguised as support that are deliberate flashing to induce photosensitive triggers. If you’re sharing this saying you’re epileptic and receive a video, don’t press play. I’m back to being on my ass. Be better, please.

— Liana Ruppert (@DirtyEffinHippy) December 8, 2020

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Why would anyone do that? That’s a question that we should all be asking, and the unfortunate answers to that question lie in the heads of those who would resort to such actions. We’ve seen fans who have gone out of their way to defend Cyberpunk 2077 and developer CD Projekt Red against anything they perceive to be an attack against the game, but the idea that there are people out there who are so blindly loyal to a game and company that they would attempt to seriously harm someone over a health PSA is unfathomable.

What’s especially odd is that Ruppert’s report is largely designed to be informative rather than any kind of “attack piece” against the game. She’s even asked people to focus more on the game’s triggers and what can be done about them and less on those who are actually attacking her:

Please stop sharing the part about people sending me videos. That sucks, it’s criminal, but now the entire conversation is about that and not on the whole reason I wrote the piece to help make gaming safer. Please keep the focus where it belongs: on accessibility, I’m begging 🙏🏻

— Liana Ruppert (@DirtyEffinHippy) December 8, 2020

That being the case, let’s focus on Cyberpunk 2077‘s epilepsy triggers as they’re not only potentially dangerous but raise questions that need to be answered regarding what can be done about them.

As the article notes, Cyberpunk 2077 features various moments of flashing lights and other intense visual sequences that could trigger negative reactions among some players. For instance, she references sequences involving Johnny Silverhand as likely triggers for some players who struggle with epileptic seizures and other harmful reactions to flashing lights.

However, the bulk of the article focuses on a specific trigger that occurs when players participate in one of the game’s numerous braindance sequences. Those sequences require players to wear a headset that puts flashing blue lights in front of your character’s eyes. Based on a previous gameplay preview of Cyberpunk‘s braindance sequences, this seems to be the headset in question:

As Ruppert points out, that headset not only puts flashing lights directly in front of the player’s eyes, but the design of the headset itself resembles a device used by neurologists to study epileptic seizures and similar attacks. That could just be a coincidence, but it does feel strange that the thematic idea of a braindance does seemingly involve the idea of triggering an intense reaction in the user’s brain. The player’s character even comments on the intensity of the sequence, and it sounds like many of the braindance story segments feature additional moments of flashing lights that are designed to convey transitions into deeper parts of the memory.

At this point, you may be wondering whether or not Cyberpunk 2077 features an epilepsy warning. To be honest, we can’t answer that question with absolute certainty at this time. While some of those who have watched leaked footage of Cyberpunk 2077‘s first few hours noted that they did not see an epilepsy warning, the official information is still somewhat vague. CD Projekt Red has stated in their response to this matter that their EULA features a warning, but the implication is that warning isn’t specifically conveyed in-game:

Thank you for bringing this up. We’re working on adding a separate warning in the game, aside from the one that exists in the EULA (https://t.co/eXpPn73VSK). Regarding a more permanent solution, Dev team is currently exploring that and will be implementing it as soon as possible. https://t.co/lXFypnSit2

— Cyberpunk 2077 (@CyberpunkGame) December 8, 2020

For the moment, let’s assume that there is going to be an epilepsy warning in the game even if there isn’t one already. That still doesn’t address the bigger problem that people are already pointing out: accessibility and fundamental design accommodations.

Unless Cyberpunk 2077 (and other games) intend to present warnings before every event which could possibly trigger an epileptic reaction, there’s simply no way for anyone whose health is at risk to know when one might occur. As this excellent video on this subject even points out, it’s difficult (if not impossible) for developers to develop a universal “safe mode,” as triggers can vary so much from person to person that there’s no great way for a developer to guarantee the safety of every individual user:

The point is that any possible solutions to this problem involve a mix of clear communication, direct avoidance of the most common visual triggers, a fundamental rethinking of basic design concepts, and any optional accommodations that can be offered which may reduce the potential impact of these sequences when they do occur. It also means that when people point out that there is a potential problem in a game, the move is to learn from them rather than attack or dismiss them.

Too often, though, we see incidents in the gaming community of people being attacked for pointing out ways that developers can better accommodate not just the personal preferences of players but their needs. While companies like Microsoft have made tremendous strides in creating hardware and software designed to accommodate as many needs as possible and developers like Naughty Dog have implemented previously unprecedented accessibility options, this isn’t the kind of subject which can be brushed aside whenever we see an example of how things have gotten better. The important thing to realize is that when people point out the ways that a game falls short of account for their needs, they’re not “complaining” or trying to hinder your enjoyment of a game. More often than not, they’re simply just trying to also be able to also enjoy that game as well and maybe help others prevent problems before they happen.

The fact of the matter is that what we know right now strongly suggests that Cyberpunk 2077 does not do enough to mitigate its visual risks. While its shortcomings in that respect can be attributed to a variety of factors that are not necessarily indicative of any intentional wrongdoing, it is now up to CD Projekt Red, other developers, and everyone in the gaming world to do everything they can to show the proper reaction to these revelations is to find a way to do better.

The post Cyberpunk 2077’s Epilepsy Concerns Represent a Bigger Problem appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/33XSde2

[sourwolfstories]

Hey there :) was just wondering if you could maybe do a list of high school sterek au's where Derek and stiles are the same age or quite near in age. cheers ^ω^

the lunch table configuration by thepsychicclam

When Isaac makes Derek switch lunch tables, the last thing Derek expected was to fall for Stiles.

John Hughes Did Not Direct My Life by nascentgalaxies

Stiles and Derek are childhood friends who drifted apart. When Stiles joins the lacrosse team against his will, the universe (with a little help from Laura and Lydia) chooses to push them back together.

Talk Geeky to Me by stilesanderek

Derek and Stiles are the most typical combo of nerd plus geek two teenage boys could be; and as stereotypical as they could ever get, they’re each other’s only friend. That usually doesn’t bother Stiles much, Derek is the best best friend he could ever hope to have, but sometimes when he thinks about his fate of possibly not having his first kiss until college, he starts wishing he had a few more friends–or at least more people who were a bit more interested in him other than when they need to copy his notes.

In a fit of curiosity about how kissing feels like, Stiles proposes Derek that they each be the other’s first kiss–strictly platonic, of course. But afterwards, Stiles can’t stop noticing how hot Derek is, can’t stop thinking about kissing and touching him.

OR

The five times Derek and Stiles “fake” kiss and one time they take things further.

Oh God, He’s Hot by lupus

When Stiles came home a couple of days before junior year started from a summer away, he was a little more than excited to see his best friend Derek, especially now that he’d finally gotten the courage to act upon his long standing crush on the guy. There’s just one problem; somewhere in the span of three months puberty hit Derek like the bus hit Regina George and all of the sudden Derek is hot.And Stiles isn’t the only one who’s noticed.

Accidentally in Love by Scruffy_Wolf

Derek has spent his summer vacation crushing on the Sheriff’s son Stiles Stilinski, mostly from afar, but then when school starts suddenly Stiles is sitting next to him in Chemistry and inviting him around to his place after school.

Derek’s not sure what gives but he’s certain that Laura’s behind it.

The Lawn Ranger by Snowjob

In which Derek is an adolescent werewolf with a penchant for chocolate bunnies, and instead of the dream summer of lazing around the house playing video games and nibbling on his hoarded supply of easter candy his mother makes him get a job.

In which Stiles is a showoff jock with a broken arm and an embarrassing crush who can no longer push the lawn mower around the yard

I Feel We’re Close Enough by samann98

Derek’s two friends share a look and even Boyd can’t muster up the strength to deal with his pathetic attempt at denial. “Come on now, Derek, seriously? We know about you and Stiles.”

“Yeah, we know you two are fuck buddies,” Erica adds with a smirk, and Derek buries his head in his hands.

“That’s not exactly the terminology I would use,” he murmurs, his whole face burning with embarrassment.

“How else would you describe having sex with your best friend who has no clue you’re in love with him?” Boyd asks, actually sounding curious about his answer.

Derek lifts his head, opens his mouth to reply, but only ends up making a few ridiculous noises that can’t pass for actual words. When Derek finally just throws his hands up in defeat, admitting, “Okay, fine, that’s exactly how you’d describe it,” Erica and Boyd shake their heads at him.

Or the one in which Derek and Stiles are childhood friends, their freshman year of high school Derek makes the craziest suggestion ever, and four years later Stiles decides to take him up on it.

You’re The Comeback Kid by capeofstorm

Derek Hale doesn’t do friends, not after the fire that claimed his entire family and landed him in foster care. He just wants to graduate and get on with his life. But Laura always said he was a bleeding heart and that’s how he ends up with Erica Reyes as his best friend after he helps her through a seizure one day.

Erica’s not content with being the loser epileptic anymore, not now that she’s Derek’s friend. She intends to become the uncrowned queen of the school because running things from behind the scenes is always fun.

Add in Stiles Stilinski, the guy Derek can’t help but notice and help with some bully trouble.

And how the hell did Erica talk him into taking Isaac Lahey under his wing?

The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me (Is You) by distortedreality

Derek is fairly certain the new kid is either an incubus or a witch. Turns out he’s actually his mate. Stiles is 98% certain the brooding guy in the leather jacket is fantasizing about stringing him up by his intestines. Turns out he’s also wrong.

A High School AU in which Stiles is Derek’s mate and Derek leaves a dead deer on Stiles’ porch, buys a lot of fast food, and lies about economics.

Drive by MyGirlfriendsAttic

“Everyone knew you didn’t touch Derek Hale’s family, leather jacket, and especially not his car. Not if you wanted to live, that is.”

Or, the high school AU where Stiles can’t decide if he wants to kiss Derek Hale or steal his Camaro. Spoiler: it might be a little bit of both.

on the bus by bibliosexual

“Yeah,” Erica says with exaggerated slowness, “I did like Kira, and now I like Boyd. I’m bi.”

“Bi?”

“Bisexual?” Erica prompts. “As in, not gay or straight?”

Stiles is pretty sure his entire mind explodes. “You can like guys and girls? That’s a thing?”

Erica looks at him like, What planet are you from? “Uh, yeah. As long as they’re hot, I don’t care what gender they are.” She pokes him in the side, and he jumps. He’s always been ticklish, and unfortunately Erica knows it. “What about you? You ever like guys, Stilinski?”

*In which Stiles and Derek ride the bus to school together, and there are bisexual awakenings.

Of Glasses And Lacrosse Sticks by charlesdk

“Okay, how ‘bout this? One date, just one date, and if you still don’t believe I’m genuinely interested in you, then I’ll leave you alone for good. How does that sound?”

Derek hesitated for another moment, before he sighed and said, “Fine. One date.”

Kingdom By The Sea by TheCriminal

Lydia grabs his arm and pulls him down in the seat next to her. “When the hell did you find time to bag a guy like Hale?”

“We’re friends,” Stiles feels his face heat up, and then the team are running out and Derek sees him and smiles. His blush gets worse.

“Oh really?”

“Our moms were friends, okay? We’ve been in diapers together.”

“I thought you two hated each other.”

Just the Same by ericaismeg

Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There’s just no way Derek Hale is human.***“I was wondering if you’re even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it’s ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It’s unfair for us. I mean, it’s obvious you work out, and I don’t, so that could be why, but like…I was just wondering if you were human, that’s all.”

“Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”

“Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can’t threaten him with shit.

The Boy Next Door by dereksstilinski (greyslittlediaries)

Stiles thinks he’s doing the right thing by distancing himself from Derek, but little does he know that Derek needs him more than ever.

OR in which Stiles and Derek are the same age and have been neighbors all their lives.

Letters by ericaismeg

“Stiles, this is getting ridiculous. Can you please do something about it?” Lydia demands. “Do anything. I don’t care. Go up and kiss him, ask him to prom this year, write him secret admirer love letters, whatever. Just do something.”

***

OR: The one where Lydia sets up an email account for Stiles to “confess his love” for Derek. And as fate would have it, they also end up becoming friends in person at the same time.

[sophrosynity]

FJM is a fucking legend.

BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS

74:17 of pure enlightenment... although “I love you, honeybear” is still my favorite vinyl... :)

1- PURE COMEDY (6:23)

The comedy of man starts like this ... Our brains are way too big for our mothers' hips ... And so Nature, she divines this alternative ... We emerged half-formed and hope that whoever greets us on the other end Is kind enough to fill us in ... And, babies, that's pretty much how it's been ever since ... Now the miracle of birth leaves a few issues to address ... Like, say, that half of us are periodically iron deficient ... So somebody's got to go kill something while I look after the kids ... I'd do it myself, but what, are you going to get this thing its milk? He says as soon as he gets back from the hunt, we can switch ... It's hard not to fall in love with something so helpless ... Ladies, I hope we don't end up regretting this ... Comedy, now that's what I call pure comedy ... Just waiting until the part where they start to believe ... They're at the center of everything ... And some all powerful being endowed this horror show with meaning ... Oh, their religions are the best ... They worship themselves yet they're totally obsessed ... With risen zombies, celestial virgins, magic tricks, these unbelievable outfits ... And they get terribly upset ... When you question their sacred texts ... Written by woman-hating epileptics ... Their languages just serve to confuse them ... Their confusion somehow makes them more sure ... They build fortunes poisoning their offspring ... And hand out prizes when someone patents the cure ... Where did they find these goons they elected to rule them? What makes these clowns they idolize so remarkable? These mammals are hell-bent on fashioning new gods ... So they can go on being godless animals ... Oh comedy, their illusions they have no choice but to believe ... Their horizons that just forever recede ... And how's this for irony, their idea of being free is a prison of beliefs ... That they never ever have to leave ... Oh comedy, oh it's like something that a madman would conceive! ... The only thing that seems to make them feel alive is the struggle to survive ... But the only thing that they request is something to numb the pain with ... Until there's nothing human left ... Just random matter suspended in the dark ... I hate to say it, but each other's all we got ...

2 -  Total Entertainment Forever (2:53) Bedding Taylor Swift ... Every night inside the Oculus Rift ... After mister and the missus finish dinner and the dishes ... And now the future's definition is so much higher than it was last year ... It's like the images have all become real ... And someone's living my life for me out in the mirror ... No, can you believe how far we've come ... In the New Age? Freedom to have what you want ... In the New Age we'll all be entertained ... Rich or poor, the channels are all the same ... You're a star now, baby, so dry your tears ... You're just like them ... Wake on up from the nightmare ... Come on ... Oh ho oh Oh Oh ho oh No gods to rule us ... No drugs to soothe us ... No myths to prove stuff ... No love to confuse us ... Not bad for a race of demented monkeys ... From a cave to a city to a permanent party ... Come on ... Oh ho oh Oh Oh ho oh When the historians find us we'll be in our homes ... Plugged into our hubs ... Skin and bones ... A frozen smile on every face ... As the stories replay ... This must have been a wonderful place ...

3 -  Things It Would Have Been Helpful To Know Before The Revolution (4:18)

It got too hot and so we overthrew the system ... 'Cause there's no place for human existence like right here ... On this bright blue marble orbited by trash ... Man, there's no beating that ... It was no big thing to give up the way of life we had ... Oh ho oh ... My social life is now quite a bit less hectic ... The nightlife and the protests are pretty scarce ... Now I mostly spend the long days walking through the city ... Empty as a tomb ... Sometimes I miss the top of the food chain ... But what a perfect afternoon ... Industry and commerce toppled to their knees ... The gears of progress halted ... The underclass set free ... The super-ego shatters with our ideologies ... The obscene injunction to enjoy life ... Disappears as in a dream ... And as we return to out native state ... To our primal scene ... The temperature, it started dropping ... The ice floes began to freeze ... From time to time we all get a bit restless ... With no one advertising to us constantly ... But the tribe at the former airport ... Some nights has meat and dancing ... If you don't mind gathering and hunting ... We're all still pretty good at eating on the run ... Things it would have been helpful to know before the revolution ... Though I'll admit some degree of resentment ... For the sudden lack of convenience around here ... But there are some visionaries among us developing some products ... To aid us in our struggle to survive ... On this godless rock that refuses to die ...

4 -  Ballad Of The Dying Man (4:50)

Naturally the dying man wonders to himself: Has commentary been more elusive than anybody else? And had he successfully beaten back the rising tide ... Of idiots, dilettantes, and fools ... On his watch while he was alive ... Lord, just a little more time ... Oh, in no time at all ... This'll be the distant past ... Ooh ... So says the dying man once I'm in the box Just think of all the overrated hacks running amok And all of the pretentious, ignorant voices that will go unchecked The homophobes, hipsters, and 1% The false feminists he'd managed to detect Oh, who will critique them once he's left? Oh, in no time at all This'll be the distant past What he'd give for one more day to rate and analyze ... The world made in his image as of yet ... To realize what a mess to leave behind ... Eventually the dying man takes his final breath ... But first checks his news feed to see what he's 'bout to miss ... And it occurs to him a little late in the game ... We leave as clueless as we came ... For the rented heavens to the shadows in the cave We'll all be wrong someday ... Oh ... Oh ... Oh ...

5 -  Birdie (5:19)

Take off, little winged creature ... It's nothing but teens in ravines ... And antics on concrete down here ... And are you really as free as all the great songs would have me believe? Let me tell you why some day, Birdie, you're gonna envy me ... Some dream of a world written in lines of code ... Well, I hope they engineer out politics, romance, and edifice ... Two outta three ain't bad ... Some envision a state governed by laws of business ... Merger and acquisition instead of violence or nations ... Where do I sign up? Take off, little winged creature ... It's nothing but falling debris, strollers, and babies down here ... And you may be up in the sky but our paradigms are just as deep and just as wide ... What with all our best attempts at transcendence ... Something's bound to take ... Soon, we'll live in a global culture devoid of gender or race ... There's just one tiny line: You're either born behind ... Or you're free to peek inside ... Life as just narrative, metadata in aggregate ... Where the enigma of humanity's wrapped up finally ... That as they say is that ... Oh, that day can't come soon enough ... It'll be so glorious ... When they finally find out what's bugging us. ...

6 - Leaving LA (13:11) I was living on the hill ... By the water tower and hiking trails ... And when the big one hit I’d have a seat ... To watch masters abandon their dogs and dogs run free ... Oh baby, it’s time to leave ... Take the van and the hearse down to New Orleans ... Leave under the gaze of the billboard queens ... Five-foot chicks with parted lips selling sweatshop jeans ... These L.A. phonies and their bullshit bands ... That sound like dollar signs and Amy Grant ... So reads the pulled quote from my last cover piece ... Entitled "The Oldest Man in Folk Rock Speaks” ... You can hear it all over the airwaves ... The manufactured gasp of the final days ... Someone should tell them ‘bout the time that they don’t have ... To praise the glorious future and the hopeless past ... A few things the songwriter needs ... Arrows of Love, a mask of Tragedy ... But if you want ecstasy or birth control ... Just run the tap until the water’s cold ... Anything else you can get online ... A creation myth or a .45 ... You're going to need one or the other to survive ... Where only the armed or the funny make it out alive ... Mara taunts me 'neath the tree ... She's like, "Oh great, that's just what we all need ... Another white guy in 2017 ... Who takes himself so goddamn seriously." She's not far off, the strange thing is ... That's pretty much what I thought when I started this ... It took me my whole life to learn to the play the G ... But the role of Oedipus was a total breeze ... Still I dreamt of garnering all rave reviews ... Just believably a little north of God's own truth ... He's a national treasure now, and here's the proof ... In the form of his major label debut ... A little less human with each release ... Closing the gap between the mask and me ... I swear I'll never do this, but is it okay? Don't want to be that guy but it's my birthday ... If everything ends with the photo then I'm on my way ... Ohhh-ho-o-oh oh-ho-ho-ho-oh I watched my old gods all collapse ... Were way more violent than my cartoon past ... It's like my father said before he croaked ... "Son, you're killing me, and that's all folks." So why is it I'm so distraught ... That what I'm selling is getting bought ... At some point you just can't control ... What people use your fake name for ... So I never learned to play the lead guitar ... I always more preferred the speaking parts ... Besides there's always someone willing to ... Fill up the spaces that I couldn't use ... Nonetheless, I've been practicing my whole life ... Washing dishes, playing drums, and getting by ... Until I figured, if I'm here then I just might ... Conceal my lack of skill here in the spotlights ... Maya, the mother of illusions, a beard, and I ... 2000 years or so since Ovid taught ... Night-blooming, teenage rosebuds, dirty talk ... And I'm merely a minor fascination to ... Manic virginal lust and college dudes ... I'm beginning to begin to see the end ... Of how it all goes down between me and them ... Some 10-verse chorus-less diatribe ... Plays as they all jump ship, "I used to like this guy ... This new shit really kinda makes me wanna die" ... Ohhh-ho-oh-oh oh-ho-ho-ho-oh Ohhh-ho-oh-oh oh-ho-ho-ho-oh My first memory of music's from ... The time at JCPenney's with my mom ... The watermelon candy I was choking on ... Barbara screaming, "Someone help my son!" ... I relive it most times the radio's on ... That "tell me lies, sweet little white lies" song ... That's when I first saw the comedy won't stop for ... Even little boys dying in the department store ... So we leave town in total silence ... New Year's Day, it's 6 o'clock AM ... I've never seen Sunset this abandoned ... Reminds me predictably of the world's end ... It'll be good to get more space ... God knows what all these suckers paid ... I can stop drinking and you can write your script ... But what we both think now is.

7 - A Bigger Paper Bag (4:41) Dance like a butterfly and drink like a fish ... If you're bent on taking demons down with only your fist ... And I've never known anyone who could lose himself in a bigger paper bag ... The weaker the signal, the sweeter the noise ... Hunching over an instrument that you now employ ... Like the Starvation Army needs a marching piano in the band ... Are you feeling used? ... I do ... Oh, I was pissing on the flame ... Like a child with cash or a king on cocaine ... I've got the world by the balls ... Am I supposed to behave? ... What a fraud ... What a con ... You're the only ... One I love ... It's easy to assume that you've built some rapport ... With a someone who only likes you for what you like yourself for ... Okay, you be my mirror but remember the only a few angles I tend to prefer ... I'm only here to serve ... Oh, I was pissing on the flame ... Like a child with cash or a king on cocaine ... I've got the world by the balls ... Am I supposed to behave? ... Oh, I was dancing 'round the flame ... Like a high-wire act with a "who, me?" face ... I was living on nothing but water and cake ... What a fraud ... What a con ... You're the only ... One I love ... One I love ... One I love ...

8 - When The God Of Love Returns There'll Be Hell To Pay (4:04) When the god of love returns ... There'll be hell to pay ... Though the world may be out of excuse ... I know just what I would say ... That the seven trumpets sound ... As a locust sky grows dark ... But first let's take you on a quick tour of your creation's handiwork ... Billy got through the prisons and stores ... And the pale horse looks a little sick ... Says, "Jesus, you didn't leave a whole lot for me ... If this isn't hell already then tell me what the hell is?" ... And we say it's just human, human nature ... This is place is savage and unjust ... We crawled out of the darkness ... And endured your impatience ... We're more than willing to adjust ... And now you've got the gall to judge us ... The spider spins his web ... The tiger stalks his prey ... And we steal fire from the heavens to try to keep the night at bay ... Every monster has a code ... One that steadies the shaking hand ... And he's determined to accrue more capital by whatever means he can ... Oh, it's just human, human nature ... We've got these appetites to serve ... You must not know the first thing about human beings ... We're the earth's most soulful predator ... Try something less ambitious the next time you get bored ... Oh, my Lord ... We just want light in the dark ... Some warmth in the cold ... And to make something out of nothing sounds like someone else I know ...

9 -  Smoochie (3:45) When my personal demons are screaming ... And when my door of madness is half-open ... You stand alongside ... And say something to the effect that everything'll be ... Alright ... Soon ... Smoochie ... Chaos attends to creation ... And when the shadows inside me vie for attention ... You stand alongside ... And say something perfect like "concealment feeds the fear." And hand me a sea peach ... And say, "Come, come over here ... Smoochie."

10 -  Two Wildly Different Perspectives (3:12) One side says ... “Y'all go to hell.” The other says ... “If I believed in God, I'd send you there.” But either way we make some space ... In the hell that we create ... On both sides ... One side says ... “Kill 'em all.” The other says ... “Line those killers up against the wall.” But either way some blood is shed ... Thanks to our cooperation ... On both sides ... On both sides ... One side says ... “Man, take what's yours!” The other says ... “Live on no more than you can afford.” But either way we just possess ... And everyone ends up with less ... On both sides ... On both sides ...

11 - The Memo (5:16) I'm gonna steal some bedsheets ... From an amputee ... I'm gonna mount em on a canvas ... In the middle of the gallery ... I'm gonna tell everybody ... It was painted by a chimpanzee ... Just between you and me ... Here at the cultural low watermark ... If it's fraud or art ... They'll pay you to believe ... I'm gonna take five young dudes ... From white families ... I'm gonna mount 'em on a billboard ... In the middle of the country ... I'm gonna tell everybody ... They sing like angels with whiter teeth ... But just between you and me ... They're just like the ones before ... With their standards lower ... Another concert-goer will pay you to believe ... Oh, caffeine in the morning, alcohol at night ... Cameras to record you and mirrors to recognize ... And as the world is getting smaller, small things take up all your time ... Narcissus would have had a field day if he could have got online ... And friends it's not self-love that kills you ... It's when those who hate you are allowed ... To sell you that you're a glorious shit ... The entire world revolves around ... And that you're the eater, no not the eaten ... But that your hunger will only cease ... If you come binge on radiant blandness ... At the disposable feast ... (You're enjoying the chill winter playlist) Just quickly how would you rate yourself ... [?] In terms of sex appeal and cultural significance? (Irony, irony Blo blo blo blo blo blo blo) Do you usually listen to music like this? (Just one more mile, you can do it again) Can we recommend some similar artists? (This is totally the song of my summer) Are you feeling depressed? (This guy just gets me) But your feedback's important ... To us ... (Music is my life) Gonna buy myself a sports team ... And put 'em in a pit ... I'm gonna wage the old crusade ... Against consciousness ... All I need's a couple winners ... To get every loser to fight in it ... Keep the golden calf ... Just need the bullshit ... And they won't just sell themselves into slavery ... They'll get on their knees and pay you to believe ...

12 - So I'm Growing Old On Magic Mountain (9:58) That was the last New Year I'll ever see ... And I wanna stay on that magic mountain ... With lost souls and beautiful women ... I drank some of Farmer's potion ... And we were moving in slow motion ... The slower, the better ... The slower, the better ... 'Cause there's no one old on magic mountain ... There's no one old, old on magic mountain ... And that was the very last barn I'm burning ... So for now everyone is dancing ... As if it's any time but the present ... So for now every young thing in my path ... I'll hold their face so long inside my hands ... The longer, the better ... The longer, the better ... 'Cause there's no one old on magic mountain ... There's no one old, old on magic mountain ... The wine has all been emptied... And smoke has cleared... As people file back to the valley... On the last night of life's party... These days the years thin till I can't remember... Just what it feels like to be young forever... So the longer I stay here... The longer there's no future... So I'm growing old on magic mountain... I'm growing old, old on magic mountain...

13 - In Twenty Years Or So (6:27 What's there to lose? For a ghost in a cheap rental suit? Clinging to a rock that is hurtling through space? And what's to regret? For a speck on a speck on a speck...? Made more ridiculous the more serious he gets? Oh, it's easy to forget. Oh, I read somewhere, That in twenty years, More or less... This human experiment will reach its violent end... But I look at you... As our second drinks arrive... The piano player's playing "This Must Be the Place"... And it's a miracle to be alive... One more time... There's nothing to fear... There's nothing to fear.... There's nothing to fear...

BUY THIS ALBUM. BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS BUY THIS FOR YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING FRIENDS

[dramallamadingdang]

Music Meme, Redux.

Well, my game crashed, and I decided not to reload it since it's close to bedtime, and @ajaysims tagged me, so...LET'S DO THIS AGAIN!

I'm not going to tag more peeps this time, though. Do it if ya wanna! Just play random songs on a player, list the first 10 that play.

WARNING: (Mostly) 80s music ahead...

Reach - Gloria Estefan I think this was one of those inspirational Olympic theme song thingies. Like, for the one that was in Atlanta. Not my favorite of hers, but we've got a lot of Gloria Estefan on the networked external hard drive this playlist draws from because Ethan thinks she's hawt. Oh, and hey now that I see the video...Yup, cheesy Olympic song, yay!

I Know There's Something Going On - Frida OMG, I've got ABBA's entire discography on this playlist, and VLC Player picks this to play? SERIOUSLY??????!

Boy-Boy (I'm The Boy) - Culture Club Oh, honey, YES YOU ARE!

New Moon on Monday - Duran Duran Oh, sing it to me, Simon! *was big-haired, embarrassingly dorky Duranie in the 80s*

Judas - Lady GaGa Swear, every time I do one of these things, GaGa pops up on it. And it's not like there's a lot of her to draw from. I mean, with the entire discographies of ABBA, Elton John, Billy Joel, Sting, Queen, The Moody Blues, Madonna, Barenaked Ladies, and a bunch of other acts that have a lot more albums than she does... Weird. Just weird.

Warmer Place to Sleep - John Cougar Mellencamp And considering that he got TWO songs on the list the last time I did this...I think it's rigged. >_>

A - The Barenaked Ladies Ah, one of my favorite songs of theirs... A is for “asshole”  Which is what I am How rude of me I owe you an apology I'm sorry Oh, hey, IT'S ABOUT ME! :) No wonder I like it.

What I Like About You - The Romantics I can't listen to this song without jumping around the room like an epileptic ferret. Excuse me...

Push the Limits (ATB Remix) - Enigma Yeah, I do a weird dance to this one, too... Dude, where’s the rave?

The Warrior - Scandal I remember being, like, 20 and driving down highways with the car windows all the way down and this song blaring at about a billion decibels, screaming along with the lyrics. Ahhhh, the 80s... (This one’s video is classic 80s WTF-were-they-smoking, too! :) )

[term7itmedia]

Research - Health and Safety

Health and safety is a mandatory precaution that is taken everywhere in the world, ranging from workplaces with dangerous equipment to media with flashing images or certain colour patterns.

The key factor with health and safety is to take measures to ensure that the experience is somewhat safe for everyone, while not causing discomfort, injury or death to the person.

Here, I will cover the health and safety process for photosensitive epilepsy, which is a huge concern in the movie/gaming industry.

If you don’t know (I don’t know how you don’t), photosensitive epilepsy is a lifelong condition that causes person affected to have seizures triggered by flashing lights or certain colour patterns. Symptoms of epilepsy can include confusion, fatigue, memory loss and headaches.

Be aware that the following footage contains rapidly flashing images. If you are prone to seizures induced by digital media, you may want to skip this post.

Earthbound

Earthbound is a video game where a boy named Ness goes out on an adventure to save the world from the curse of Giygas, an entity so powerful he controls everything his mind is set on.

When fighting in Earthbound, some attacks have a strobing effect. While they doesn’t last more than 2 seconds, it is still fast enough to trigger discomfort or seizures in epileptics.

One of the worst cases of Earthbound’s flashing images is the Giygas fight itself. During the fifth phase of the fight, Giygas starts flashing red, blue and yellow all over the screen, similar to what you would find in that of TV static noise, which is only black and white. While doing this, his background also moves at set speeds. This combination of imagery makes even the most healthy players dizzy after a while.

When Giygas is dying, the same principles apply to his background image, which will often turn into static, flashing the same colours and moving at the same speed.

I don’t know of any cases that someone had a seizure or death from playing this fight, and even if there are... I’m surprised they made it that far into the game.

Because of the generation the game was made in (1994), HAL Laboratory and Ape (the developers of the game) didn’t take epilepsy into account, as it wasn't much of a known concern in the gaming world back then. But with the re-release of the console it was published on (the Super Nintendo Entertainment System), there is a built-in feature that can detect when an image of a strobing effect is present, after which it blurs the image greatly. However, that doesn’t mean it is perfect, as it is still sensitive to some flashing images, but those only show for about 3 seconds.

So it goes to show that old-time game developers do take things seriously and they implement measures to combat these disabilities from doing any damage.

osu!

osu! is a rhythm game where players have to click circles to the beat of the song they are playing in-game, the setup of which is created by map creators in the built-in editor.

This video is ONLY to show the epilepsy warning, not that the game should be played in this manner. The game is MUCH easier than this.

As you can see, upon selecting a song, an epilepsy warning pops up while the song loads. If the song finishes loading before the epilepsy warning fades away, the warning will only disappear after its timer expires, which is only 3 seconds.

Aside from pros, there are also cons. The pros are that this is actually talked about within the osu! community (unlike Earthbound) and implemented into the game. Another pro is that the player can dim the background completely, so they’re playing on a black canvas with no worries. However, if the player has certain mods applied to the song, there may be issues. For example, the Hidden mod allows circles to be seen for a brief period of time before disappearing. It is still clickable, you just can’t see it. So if there are hundreds of these circles under this effect while playing on Double mode, the song is no longer that safe.

The cons however, are that it only shows for a short amount of time, so people who cannot read fast (like people with dyslexia) definitely don’t have enough time to read the entire thing in one go. Another con is that the epilepsy warning HAS to be set by the map creator in the map settings, as this isn’t something internally programmed like the SNES re-release I mentioned earlier.

UNO

UNO is a game where four players have a hand of 7 cards, and they try to empty their hand completely by playing cards under certain restrictions.

When the game starts up, after the titles roll, this message appears. It is a long one, but it goes into detail how some players will suffer from seizures when playing games. It is shown for about 10 seconds as the game loads, which is still not enough time for some people to read through, as stated earlier when referring to osu!.

It’s a good thing that this shows before the game is played, as with Earthbound, there is no warning whatsoever throughout the entirety of the game.

There are no flashing lights in this game, but there are certain light patterns that may cause discomfort in those with epilepsy.

Tetris

Tetris is a video game where players attempt to clear lines by moving falling tetrominos into place.

Whenever a Tetris is cleared (or 4 lines at once), the screen flashes rapidly for half a second. While this isn’t that harsh on those with epilepsy, it is still fast enough to cause any symptoms in those with it, considering another Tetris clear could follow and make symptoms worse.

Why?

Because epilepsy is a huge concern for gamers, I will be including a feature in my game that disables all flashing imagery... that is if I put any in to begin with. I probably won’t. If you are making a game as well, I hope this taught you a lesson... or gave you more reason to include images of a strobing nature.

[mycraftylittlestitches]

Wow, this is awkward and boy, oh boy am I crap?! I mean seriously. It’s been another month that has made me wonder if the God’s are after driving me down into the path of insanity. Thankfully my health is on the mend but now comes the mammoth task of catching up with all my jobs. I’ve sent a car full of bags and boxes of unneeded bits and bobs to the charity shop, I’ve done the little fiddly jobs that somehow I never have time for in-between going to my day job and taking care of the girls.

I’ve spent as much time as possible playing and cuddling my girls and attempted to at least squeeze in one blog post a week. I had so many ambitious ideas but perhaps I should tone them down for now. Family first, followed by life in general then my blog. In that order. I am however hopeful that now I am almost back on track with my priorities, I can start REALLY sinking my teeth into my fun little hobby.

  Toddle was ‘helping’ me write a review…. Review FINALLY nealy done. just proof read and post! Next few days…

Now for the embarrassing bit of looking at last month’s aims. Spoiler alert: not much got done! Oh well, sometimes you can only do what you can do… Or in my case, what my body will allow me to do.

  Blog: Write at least two blog posts a week, ideally three. One recipe and maybe two miscellaneous; that will probably be parenting/ crafting/ review related. I have at the very least managed some recipes. Wooo! I’m not entirely sure if it counts if I was cooking anyway but at least some content popped up on my site and made it seem like perhaps I had some kind of plan of action. Some other posts happened and I have six almost ready to go posts but sadly life always takes priority so they haven’t yet made the final cut.

Finish at least two more crochet tutorials, including video. I won’t be posting them up until I have at least ten ready, then it will be a weekly event, posted on a Sunday for your viewing pleasure. Ready yourself for the broad Northern English accent. Nope. Sorry. Not even finished one but have scripted it so that kind of counts right? Right? Set up my YouTube account and make it look both pretty and functional. Only one video on there so far… Sigh….. Not even uploaded my logo on to it yet…

One crochet pattern typed up and posted with photos. I have an idea for a lacy scarf. We shall see if it pans out the way that I hope it will. Halfway there with this one but sadly I have managed to lose my 5mm crochet hook but when my new one arrives I can complete this project and delight a toddler with a new hat and matching scarf set.

Hit 300 followers on my Facebook page. Close but no cigar. I’m not great on Facebook but if you want to assist me on my way to the noble goal of 300 followers then here is the link. Thank you, much appreciated!

Spend at least 10 hours a week creating content and write at least 500 words a day. Barely had time this month to manage 2 hours a week but going to try to make a few more happen soon. Health and kids depending!

Get an honest update and new set of aims ready for the first of October. Sooooo……. We are still in October so it kinda counts right? Right…?

Flowers to brighten my week.

Peek a boo!

Real life Start learning how to draw. I doodled a stick person and a house to try to explain to concept of Santa to a toddler. I’m going to count it as practice and a good step towards my goal of decent scribbles. It’s not delusional if I know I’m kidding myself.

Spend more time playing with the girls. I have accomplished this. This was my primary parenting goal because I always seem to get so caught up with work and getting things done I sometimes don’t slow down enough to show my girls that they are my world. Last month I made sure to spend as much time as possible down on their level, playing with blocks, Duplo, reading, singing and whatever other games took our fancy. It’s been wonderful and I’ve STILL managed to get my house back to rights after a few months of epilepsy madness. Double win.

I know that they were never exactly starved of attention and I always took plenty of time out of my day for them but I feel I have a much better balance now that I am allowing myself to occasionally drop the ball in less important areas of life. Happier girlies and happier mummy. Still, need to work on this a bit more but it takes time to break the habits of a lifetime.

Try and prevent days of low mood. Mostly a success. Lots of cappuccinos in cafés and playtime with the girls. It’s so easy to feel down when your disabilities are acting up but I have tried very hard to boost myself up. Yes, I feel like a failure sometimes and yes, I wish I could do all the things that other people can do but at the end of the day, I am quite lucky. I can walk with the use of a stick or whatever else to lean on. I can manage to mostly take care of myself and the girls. Can’t bathe myself or them without my partner at home because of epilepsy but that’s a small price to pay for their’s and my own’s safety. I have had low days but I am feeling a lot more optimistic in recent weeks. All things considered, I’m doing great!

My girls after an Autumn walk. 50% chance of naps.

Read at least one book a fortnight. Hahahahaha. I’ve read some of ‘Free’ by Fiona Morgan and that was some quite pleasant hours snatched here and there for my own relaxation. I’d forgotten how much I love a good book and three seconds without the human monster trucks climbing all over me. Ahhhh, bliss!

Give up caffeinated coffee. Tea can stay for now. I’m down to 2/6 cups of caffeinated coffee a day and a mug of tea. For me, that’s practically cold turkey. The headaches have been interesting but I have been dealing with epileptic headaches anyway so you know… Might as well do both!

Cut right back on the sugar and eat less junk food. Pizza, I’m looking at you (while drooling). One fake away a month is allowed now. My thighs will thank me later even if my PMS is growling menacingly and threatening death and destruction on all who come near without some kind of sweet or carby offering to tame the beast. Poor Partner…

Find a better work/ blog/ family balance which benefits me, my daughters and my partner. I love them so much! Progress is happening but it’s a tricky one to balance. I’m a bit rubbish at organising myself so this was always going to be a challenge. My girls are getting more attention and are loving it so there’s that, at the very least.

Talk more openly about my emotions. Errrrm, No. Too hard.

Tell myself five things that make me great every morning and another five that make me so very lucky. I have been trying to spin a positive light on most things but I’m quite a negative person so my brain likes adding ‘but’ after each sentence. It’s slowly being trained out of it but I think that this will take plenty of time.. I will keep you all posted on how I get on. Here’s hoping for a fantastic and productive month.

New aims to keep me going until the start of December:

Blog:

Finally, catch up on my workload after the past few months of being ill. I’m getting there slowly but honestly, it’s getting embarrassing!

Sort out all of my social media accounts. Update Facebook and make it look nicer. Get my Instagram up and running and get at least a small following. Ditto on my YouTube and finally reach 10,000 followers on my Twitter.

Have a consistent blog schedule that includes 2-3 posts a week and some social media updates.

Look into going self-hosted so that I have more control over my site design and what I can include.

Have fun!

Life:

Keep calm and happy.

Spend plenty of time with my girls.

Find a good work/ life balance.

Get Xmas sorted!

That’s about it if I’m honest.

Sorry for being away so much this month, thanks for reading and have a fantastic Halloween! If you have enjoyed my post, then please consider following me on: Twitter Instagram and Facebook

October's plans and updates. #Plans #blog #blogging #family #abitlate Wow, this is awkward and boy, oh boy am I crap?! I mean seriously. It's been another month that has made me wonder if the God's are after driving me down into the path of insanity.

[theopentable]

Shelter from the Storm

Matt 4:12-23, Matt 7:24-29

A Recap and Overview of Matthew 4

The temptations Jesus experiences are the temptations we all experience.

They’re what we might call our “programs for happiness” which we hope will guide us through the wilderness and protect us from the storms.

They reflect our normal human instincts to cope with fear, discomfort and pain.

We know Jesus’ first temptation.

We think, we hope, that filling our emptiness with bread will medicate the pain.

But it doesn’t last. Man doesn’t live on bread alone.

And so it’s only a temporary comfort. Our situation, our experience remains untouched.

And if we’re not careful, our temptations to find temporary comfort will add up to addictive realities in our lives.

We know the second temptation well enough.

We think, we hope, that dazzling others with how impressive we are will overcome our deep fear that we are insignificant.

We feel the temptation to do something flashy, something that will win for ourselves great affection and esteem.

And yet without the approval of the crowds we have nothing of any real substance to cling to because we’ve not learnt that our true significance and identity is bound up in God’s love.

And if we’re not careful, our need for the approval of the crowd will turn us into a hollow people – all surface matter, nothing on the inside.

We know the third temptation also -

We think, we hope, that if we can just gain enough power and control then we won’t have to feel vulnerable any more, that we can somehow rise above any fear, uncertainty or danger.

But of course, we’re not the only ones playing that game. You can only gain power and control by taking it away from another. You get the whole world playing that way and we only make the world a far more dangerous place.

So Jesus reminds us that our vocation as human beings is not to dominate, to cling on to power and control, but rather it is found in a life that worships God and serves him only.

*            *            *

What these universal human temptations amount to is what Jesus would describe as the broad path.

It’s entirely normal to orient your life around power and control, safety and security, affection and esteem and self-medicating your own pain.

These are the challenges we all have to deal with as part of the human condition.

We imagine that they might be our ticket to happiness; our way of negotiating the wild things that we encounter in the wilderness of our lives –

Heartbreak

Sickness

Betrayal

Unemployment

Grief

Jealousy.

And yet Jesus himself resists these temptations, leaning with all he has within him on God’s truth, God’s presence, God’s hope.

Somehow Jesus knew in a profound sense that the things we regularly orient our lives around because we imagine they will help us to cope with life wouldn’t actually deliver on their promise.

In fact, instead of making our lives better they actually end up magnifying the pain and suffering in our lives.

Jesus centred his life on a deeper wisdom, an alternative script, that recognised that recognised that these very normal programs for happiness were actually programs for misery and a broader kind of sickness as a whole.

Jesus emerges from the wilderness calling God’s people to repent, to change their lives, to stop looking for happiness where it couldn’t be found (Matt 4:17).

He knew God had a far more expansive vision of life for his people.

He announced that God’s dream for the world and for their lives was so close,

if only they’d hear the call,

if only they’d dare to take their place in the drama that was unfolding.

 *            *            *

 And so we see Jesus moving amongst the people, inviting everyday people to audition for parts in the kingdom of God, to become the renewed people of God, to become kingdom-people themselves.

He summoned them to let go of their old ways of being human and to take up a new way, an utterly risky way of turning the other cheek, of going the second mile, the way of losing your life in order to gain it.

He spots two brothers, Simon (who will become Peter) and Andrew.

He ushers them into the dance – “Follow me, and I will make you fish for people.”

Immediately they leave their normal sources of safety and security and follow this Jesus with the blazing passion in his eyes.

Jesus then spots the Zebedee brothers, who also throw in their lot with Jesus, leaving their livelihood and their kin behind them (vv21-22).

They join this Jesus who goes throughout Galilee, teaching in synagogues and sharing the message of God’s dream for the world.

He shares stories that ‘function like dramatic plays in search of actors’ (NT Wright, The Challenge of the Kingdom, p.43).

And he heals.

He cures every disease and sickness among the people.

His reputation for bringing healing and freedom goes before him, great crowds come out to him, huge masses of people longing for healing.

This is the context as we approach the sermon on the mount.

Jesus emerges as a figure who resists normal temptations, normal instincts, normal ways of being and coping in the world.

He announces that God’s dream for the world is at their fingertips and that somehow it’s all mysteriously bound up in Jesus’ presence and activity.

He invites people to come and join him and he moves about, summoning people to take their part in the unfolding story.

And he brings healing to the sick.

Jesus is found within a sea of vulnerable people who know they are not well.

Somehow Jesus is bringing freedom and healing to those who are not coping in the wilderness of their lives.

 *            *            *

 Here’s why this is important.

The Sermon on the Mount is largely recognised as being Jesus’s greatest, most complete, and most important sermon.

The Sermon on the Mount is Jesus at the height of his preaching and teaching and powers, offering us the clearest vision of Jesus’ transforming vision of the world.

Historically it’s been shown that we’ve rarely known what to do with the Sermon on the Mount, but those that have taken it seriously have changed the world.

They have been the salt of the earth, light of the world.

But the Sermon on the Mount isn’t addressed to a people who have everything together.

In fact, the transformative power of the Sermon on the Mount is that it offers hope of deliverance for lives bending under the weight of hostility,

bitterness,

resentment,

deceit,

worry,

greed,

and insecurity.

The Sermon of the Mount is for a people who know that they desperately need God’s empowering, delivering presence if they’re not going to survive the storms that rage within and without.

And so it shouldn’t surprise us that Jesus isn’t talking to the best of the best, the strongest, the smartest, the holiest.

Matthew chapter 4 ends with Jesus among the crowds of demoniacs, epileptics and people in pain.

Chapter 5 starts by saying that Jesus saw the crowds and went up the mountain. He sits down, his disciples are gathered, and then he begins his sermon on the mount.

Nadia Bolz Weber writes,

See, here’s why sometimes it’s good to ignore the chapter and verse separations.  Because it’s so easy for us to default to hearing Jesus’ sermon on the mount as pure exhortation. 

As though he is giving us a list of things we should try and be so we can be blessed – be meeker, be poorer, and mournier a little more and you will meet the conditions of earning Jesus’ blessing.

But the thing is, it’s hard to imagine Jesus exhorting a crowd of demoniacs and epileptics to be meeker.

He wasn’t telling them what to try and become. 

He was telling them you are blessed and you are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. 

This was his special class of people to whom he preached.

I mean, perhaps there were people in the crowd who totally had their crap together.

People who had solid relationships and had paid off their student loans and always backed up their hard drives.

People who had nothing they felt shame about and who didn’t have terrible secrets and knew exactly what they were doing. 

Of course that is possible those people were in the crowd, it’s just, that’s not who we are told were coming to Jesus.

The ones we are told were coming to Jesus, the ones presumably to whom he was preaching, were described as the sick, those who were in pain, who fought with demons, who were broken and addicted and late on their back taxes. 

Who have more than one ex-wife, and who watch too much Netflix and think that maybe a little heroin might be a good idea. 

In other words, they were people standing in the need of God.

And standing in the need of God is standing in the way of blessedness in a way that having it all together never is.”[1]

Over the next few months I’m going to explore the beatitudes which announce the joy and the blessings of participating in God’s dream for the world and God’s hope for our lives.

But before we jump in to the start of the Sermon on the Mount I want to come to the end of the sermon on the mount.

As Jesus sums up his Sermon on the Mount he gives three metaphors.

·       First, Jesus talks about two roads. One is wide and easy, but it leads to destruction. The other is narrow and hard, but it leads to life.

·       Then Jesus speaks of two trees. One bears good fruit and lives on, while the other bears bad fruit and is cut down and burned.

·       Finally, Jesus gives the metaphor of two houses. One is built on the rock so that it withstands the wind, rain, and flood; the other is built on the sand and collapses in the storm. (Matthew 7:13–27)

These metaphors sound a warning – don’t miss out on what God is doing – pay attention to Jesus’ words!

But there’s also a message of hope.

This final metaphor, which Jesus uses to conclude his masterpiece sermon, is particularly hopeful to those of us who may feel beaten down by life,

to those who know our flaws,

our points of weakness,

our pain, our struggles and brokenness, and insufficiency.

It’s hopeful for any of us who know how hard it is to negotiate the wild things in our lives,

the parts of us that are not well,

the parts of us that are afraid and don’t find it so easy to cope with the vulnerable realities of being human.

It’s hopeful for those of us who have been walking the broad path up to this point thinking that it might be our ticket to happiness

but know enough to be able to recognise that it’s only made us sicker;

that the fruit of our normal pursuits have not been good.

The metaphor that Jesus gives us is of a shelter from the storm.

As Jesus comes to the end of his Sermon on the Mount Jesus tells us that if we will live his teaching, we will build a house on the rock-solid foundation that will stand when the rains fall, the winds blow, and the floods rise.

Isn’t that what we all long for?

In a world that seems to be increasingly dangerous and unstable with the threat of terror and global conflict it feels as though the storms are raging all around us.

In a world that seems to be changing at a dizzying pace it can feel like the floods are rising.

We feel the storms without and we feel the storms within.

And if our programs for happiness can’t offer what we hoped that they would, where do we turn?

Jesus draws us to himself, to make his teaching our foundation. To build our lives on him.

Jesus wasn’t the only poet to use the metaphor.

Bob Dylan wrote a song called Shelter from the Storm.

In the song Dylan pains the picture of a woman who offers a worn-out wayfarer a particular kind of kindness.

Here are five of the ten verses from the song:

'Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood  When blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud

I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form “Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm.”

And if I pass this way again, you can rest assured

I’ll always do my best for her, on that I give my word.  In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm

“Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm.”

I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail  Poisoned in the bushes an’ blown out on the trail  Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn

“Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm.” Suddenly I turned around and she was standin’ there  With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair. She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns

“Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm.”  I’ve heard newborn babies wailin’ like a mournin’ dove  And old men with broken teeth stranded without love.  Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?  “Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm.”

Who is this woman who offers shelter from the storm?

I don’t know how Dylan would answer that question these days, but I believe it’s who we are supposed to be as the church.

I believe it’s who we can become for others if we, as a collective, build our lives on the Sermon on the Mount.

Brian Zahnd, in his book Beauty Will Save the World: Rediscovering the Allure and Mystery of Christianity says,

“The church is to be that beautiful bride of Christ with silver bracelets on her wrist and flowers in her hair offering shelter from the storm to creatures void of form, to those burned out from exhaustion, to old men with broken teeth stranded without love.

Yes! In a world of steel-eyed death and men who are fighting to be warm, it’s the church that offers shelter from the storm!”

This is our vocation as the people of God.

We’re called by Jesus to find shelter from the storm

and to also be a people who, as a community, offer others a place where it’s always safe and warm,

a place where people want to be,

a place where they can find hope and healing.

And so that’s our task.

We invite those beaten down by the cold rains of modern life into welcoming churches which must offer safe and warm shelter

– especially to those who are not well,

to those who don’t have all their stuff together.

Together, Jesus is inviting us to share in his dream for the world,

to come and stand in the way of blessedness together.

Jesus is asking us to follow him.

It’s a narrow path for sure,

but it leads to surprising healing,

surprising life

and offers all of us shelter from the storm.

[1] http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nadiabolzweber/2014/02/sermon-on-that-special-class-of-salty-light-bearing-people-to-whom-jesus-preaches/

[sherristockman]

Jet Lag Hurts Both Mental and Physical Performance Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Jet lag, also known as flight fatigue, time zone change syndrome or desynchronosis, occurs when travel across time zones disrupts your internal body clock, resulting in mental, emotional and physical symptoms such as:1,2 Daytime sleepiness and lethargy followed by nighttime insomnia Anxiety, irritability, confusion and poor concentration Constipation or diarrhea Headache, nausea, indigestion, dehydration and/or general malaise The mental effects are fairly well-established, but recent research suggests jet lag can have a significant effect on your physical performance as well — a finding of particular importance for athletes who travel to participate in games and races. Jet Lag Takes Toll on Physical Performance Looking at Major League Baseball data culled from more than 40,000 games over two decades, including the players' travel schedules, researchers found "subtle but detectable" effects when players traveled across one or two time zones for a game.3,4 As reported by Time Magazine:5 "For example, teams from eastern states who had just returned home from a game out west tended to have fewer stolen bases, doubles and triples, and were subject to more double plays, than those who hadn't traveled as recently … The effects are enough to erase a team's home-field advantage … The effects of west-to-east travel were stronger than those of east-to-west travel, supporting the argument that they are due to the body's circadian clock — not just time on an airplane or scheduling issues in general …" According to Dr. Ravi Allada, associate director of the Center for Sleep and Circadian Biology at Northwestern, the reason for this decline in physical performance is likely due to the fact that your muscle cells are tied in to your circadian clock. Hence, "it makes sense that one might see an impairment in muscle activity or muscle efficiency, as a result of this misalignment," he says. Helpful Tips to Minimize Jet Lag As a general rule, your body will adjust to the time zone change at a rate of one time zone per day. To prevent athletic deterioration due to jet lag, Allada suggests baseball teams may want to make sure their starting pitchers are on location a day or two earlier when cross-country travel is required. This would allow their internal body clocks to adjust to the local time zone, allowing them to perform at their best. Other athletes would be wise to follow the same advice — especially if you're traveling eastward, which tends to desynchronize your internal clock more severely than westward travel. If you cannot squeeze in an extra day or two, you could fake it by pretending you're in your destination time zone while still at home.6 This suggestion may be particularly helpful if you're traveling with young ones. It's hard to rest and recuperate when you have one or more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed children rearing to go at 4 a.m. once you reach your destination.7 To do this, simply wake up and go to bed according to the destination time rather than your local time. In the morning, be sure to expose yourself to bright full-spectrum light. If the sun is not yet up, use a clear incandescent light bulb along with a cool-blue spectrum LED to shut down melatonin production. As an example, if you were to travel from New York to Paris, start going to bed an hour earlier each day, three days ahead of your flight, and avoid bright light for two to three hours before going to bed. This may necessitate closing the blinds or shades, and turning off all lights and electronic screens. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine and nicotine. When you wake, be sure to get some bright sunlight exposure. If it's still dark out, use a light box or the artificial light combination mentioned above. Also be sure to shift your mealtimes accordingly. Wear your blue-blocking glasses on the plane if you are traveling at night and continue wearing them until you get to bed. The excess blue light without the balanced red and near-infrared will seriously impair your melatonin production. Once you get to your destination, it is best to get up close to sunrise and go outside and look in the direction of the sun. You can safely do this for about an hour after sunrise. This will help to reset your melatonin production. If weather and circumstances allow, it would be best to do this outdoors with your bare feet on the ground. Effects of Chronic Jet Lag Can Be Severe Other research has investigated the health effects of jet lag by focusing on airline professionals like pilots and flight attendants, who end up struggling with jet lag on a chronic, long-term basis.8 Here, population-based studies have found flight crews have higher rates of cancer than the general population, including melanoma and cancer of the breast and prostate. While cosmic radiation exposure is thought to be a factor that increases this risk, circadian rhythm disturbance also plays a significant role. Animal research has confirmed that chronically jet lagged mice indeed have higher rates of breast cancer than non-jet lagged controls. Chronic jet lag also appears to speed up cognitive decline — an effect associated with elevated cortisol levels. In one study, long-distance flight crews were found to have higher cortisol levels than ground crews, and flight crew members who had worked there the longest scored lower on memory tests compared to those with fewer years on the job. Inconsistent Sleeping Habits May Have Similar Effects It's worth noting that you don't necessarily have to go anywhere to experience the effects of jet lag. A very similar scenario is created if you stay up really late and sleep in on the weekend and then have to get up early on Monday morning. If you have something important going on that day, say an athletic competition, written test or a presentation, your performance may suffer. Ditto for those who work night shifts on a rotating basis. I reviewed the ill effects of working the night shift in November last year, and why you'd be wise to avoid working them if possible. If you have no other choice, then the following suggestions can help minimize the health risks: • When you get up at night, get some blue light exposure, as this will help wake you up. I suggest using a conventional clear incandescent bulb in combination with a bright cool white (blue-enriched) LED bulb. You need both, not one or the other, as the LED will give you the blue and the incandescent the balancing red and near infrared spectrum. Ideally, start with incandescent light immediately after getting up, thereby simulating sunrise. After half an hour or so, add the LED light, mimicking the sun´s ascent toward high noon. Using the LED light for 15 to 30 minutes will help you to establish your new circadian rhythm. Once you feel the photonic energy boost, you can stop the LED use, since too much will do more harm than good. (Bluish LED light generates excessive amounts of free radicals if not adequately balanced by red and near infrared light.) • After this, avoid further exposure to blue light. This means using only incandescent bulbs at home and at work. Alternatively, wear blue-blocking glasses to avoid any additional exposure to LED or fluorescent bulbs. These strategies are better than nothing, but please be aware that by working nights, you are depriving yourself of natural sunlight, which is a really crucial component for health. The sun's rays not only are the catalyst that allows your skin to produce vitamin D, but sunlight also plays a role in mitochondrial health, biological energy production, and is really important for healthy vision. What About Using Melatonin? Your master biological clock resides in the suprachiasmatic nucleus of your brain (SCN), which is part of your hypothalamus. Based on signals of light and darkness, your SCN tells your pineal gland when it's time to secrete melatonin and when to turn it off. Melatonin is often recommended when traveling across time zones to help reset your internal clock. According to a government survey, 3.1 million Americans report using melatonin supplements for jet lag and insomnia. However, it's important to realize what you're really doing here. More than being a simple "sleep hormone," melatonin is a biological marker for darkness. Routinely exposing yourself to bright lights and simply taking melatonin is inadvisable. As reported by The Guardian:9 "Researchers at MIT, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, who originally patented synthetic melatonin as a sleeping aid in 1995, reported the ideal dose to be between 0.3 mg and 1 mg, and argued that prolonged use of larger doses could change how the body responds to the hormone, potentially undermining sleep." That said, if you're traveling or rotating on and off the night shift, it can definitely be useful for helping you realign your internal clock.10 According to a 2002 Cochrane Database review,11 people who traveled across five or more time zones who took melatonin close to bedtime at their destination experienced less severe jet lag symptoms compared to placebo. The greatest benefits were reported by those traveling eastward, those crossing the greatest number of time zones, and those taking doses closer to 5 mg (which is FAR more than typically recommended). Epileptics and those taking warfarin (a blood thinner) need to beware they're at increased risk for harmful side effects when taking a melatonin supplement. Ancient Trick to Eliminate Jet Lag In the short video above, originally taped in 2009, cardiologist Dr. Lee Cowden explains a simple technique that can help minimize jet lag. Here's a summary of the steps: 1. The day of your trip, set your clock to match the local time at your destination (depending on the time of your flight, you may have to do this a day ahead) 2. At 11 a.m. (the local time at your destination), stroke your heart meridian three times on the left and three times on the right. Your heart meridian begins just to the outer side of your nipple, up through your armpit and down the ulnar aspect (inner side) of your arm, down the outside of your pinky. Once you reach the end of your pinky, gently press into the base of the fingernail (heart point in Traditional Chinese Medicine). For a demonstration, please see the video above 3. At noon, repeat the heart meridian strokes Before and after boarding the plane, take a high-quality, broad-spectrum antioxidant. Astaxanthin may be an ideal choice, as it also helps shield against cosmic radiation exposure, provided you've been taking it for at least three days ahead of time. Once you reach your destination, take a fast-acting sublingual melatonin along with a slow-release oral melatonin around 10 p.m. (or just before bedtime if you go to bed earlier). Keep in mind that only a very small dose is required — typically 0.25 mg or 0.5 mg to start with, and you can adjust it up from there. Taking higher doses, such as 3 mg, can sometimes make you more wakeful instead of sleepier, so adjust your dose carefully. Also be sure to stay well-hydrated, whether you're flying or driving to your destination. Your brain controls sleep and it functions best when fully hydrated. Optimal Health Depends on Optimal Sleep Remember, when your circadian rhythm is disrupted, your body produces less melatonin, which means it has less ability to fight cancer, and less protection against free radicals that may accelerate aging and disease. Suffering from jet lag due to occasional travel is not going to have any significant long-term effects, but can certainly deteriorate your mental and physical functioning over the following day or two. If you're expected to perform at your best — either mentally or physically — it would be wise to take steps to re-synchronize your body clock to the local time at your destination, either by giving yourself a couple of extra days to reacclimatize, or by altering your wake-sleep schedule while still at home. Using melatonin and strategies such as the heart meridian stroke demonstrated above can also be helpful. If you're chronically jet lagged, either from shift work or frequent travel across time zones, you can minimize the health risks by working with artificially-created light and dark exposure — bright light when you're supposed to be awake, and darkness when you're supposed to be asleep.