#several people have told me they admired me and i.......... on the floor sobbing about it

[caelumsnuff]

What keeps you here (listening to Redacted, slightly engaging with fandom, writing for it)? I don’t mean that in the annoying ‘omg why are you here if you’re gonna complain’ way. As I think it’s heathy for a fandom to discuss what could be better about their fandom space and what works and doesn’t work for them in the media they’re consuming (and even as someone who enjoys 99% of this place, this fandom’s ‘don’t even say that you don’t like a thing’ is unlike any fandom I’ve ever been in, big or small).

I’m asking ‘cause I’ve been listening to Redacted since 2021 and it became a fixation, but recently I feel it fading a lot (I don’t find the narratives as compelling anymore with Quinn and Avior being the recent ones, HBS was just okay even tho nothing quality wise changed to me, even my enjoyment of the podcast has waned (and I listen to a ton of podcasts of all types so that should have been the one thing that stayed lol, but they are inconsistent then come back and talk about Pokémon Go only for 70% of the episode every episode lol so I think that’s what’s not helping).

So what brought you here and what keeps you here now? What do you think will keep you engaging with his work? What do you think will (or could be) what makes you step away (whether abruptly or gradually)? (Sorry for all the questions. I’m curious. Hope you have a lovely day!)

Thank you for the ask! I know this is long and a little word soupy perhaps, but i hope you can glean some coherent meaning from it.

Under the cut bc long.

I've been here since very very very early in the channel. Like...... 2020 early. I was getting back into listening to rp asmr after having a small interest in it a few years earlier, and i came across redacted, a lil baby VA. Redacted had some unique qualities in the rp asmr scene, and if we're being honest he still does.

My brain kinda decided to hyperfixate on Redacted, i think because he had plot heavy audios and that wasnt super common in this genre of rp. And in the beginning, the plots were actually decently good in terms of writing and whatnot.

At some point along the way, that fixation became something of a special interest eventually. Probably sometime around early 2022 when i decided to join the discord to finally see some fanart and maybe make friends with people in this fandom. That kinda sent me down the rabbit hole of realizing "oh shit yeah these people have wildly different interpretations of these audios", which started to irritate me in regards to a certain magical therapist and i ended up writing a fanfic about it after being afraid to write for literally most of my life. I got very mixed responses, but some people were really kind and expressed gratitude for my writing and that made me actually want to be a part of this fandom, even if i stay in my own little corner. After that point i started to engage with the content far more critically, and decided that i care about his videos too much to not talk about them and critique them.

I can't really tell you why i stay here, not exactly at least. I think plot-wise the videos have declined in quality greatly, which i started paying attention to. I have been known to enjoy bad media. Like a lot. I watched all of Voltron, all of Vampire Diaries, 13/15 seasons of Supernatural, the Twilight movies, and i fucking enjoyed them. Im just a fan of shit media. Its really fun to critique as well! But like..... I don't think Erik is an all around shit writer, i think he's really good at some things. Character building (the base of a character at least), universe building (for the most part), and the line writing is really good actually, i enjoy them. And i think that he's decent when writing darker content and plotlines, look at the Adam plotline, the Ivan plotline, Imperium AU etc. So i guess the answer is i enjoy critically engaging with it and actively critiquing the art, as well as being attached to the characters and the universe. I have kinda yoinked the characters and they are now my little barbie dolls to play with.

Tbh i ignore most of the fandom bc i just..... simply do not care what people i dont know think about me. I think that majority of this fandom has demonstrated not just a lack of critical thinking skills, comprehension of fandom etiquette, and media comprehension skills, but also a lack of basic human decency and kindness. I do not care what people like that think of me. I know who i am, my loved ones know who i am, and im not gonna let children on the internet stop me from making the art i enjoy.

I take breaks from listening to videos every once in a while (like 2 months at the beginning of this year), but i always end up coming back. I guess im curious as to where this all is going, and i really really do want to see this man get better at writing which..... hasnt happened yet but i guess im patient enough to wait lol. I think he hit a new low recently though. I think the Quinn storyline is the first time that the bad writing actually made me like... angry. Like i was MAD, like shaking laughing in my bed mad. It took me an hour to cool down like what the fuck was that man 😭 If i think about it too hard ill get all riled up again.

I.... don't know what would make me step away tbh. Idk what that would take, but i guess it'd have to be worse than the Quinn arc, which is setting a pretty high bar.

So yeah i think i stay here because i love the characters (or the ideas of them), as well as the universe, and i think writing fics for them is really good practice for me. There's also some very sweet people in this fandom who have been nothing but kind and encouraging to me, and i do not want to let these interactions i have with you guys fizzle out just yet. I may not know yall or directly interact with yall a lot, but i really do love you guys in this little corner of the fandom ive carved out.

[paracosm-writing]

00 | "𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞"

𝖎𝖓 𝖛𝖆𝖎𝖓 | Reiner Braun

Link to multi-fic masterpost.

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader

Word Count - 1.5K

Song – Saw You In A Dream// The Japanese House

Synopsis: Reiner Braun sees a series of memories as a young boy and falls in love with the girl who stars in them. Upon discovering that this girl is you, an Eldian on an island of devils, Reiner vows to save you from the impending doom his memories foretell. But will his efforts be in vain?

TW: slight Yandere! Reiner, angst, Y/N death, toxic/abusive relationships, canon-divergent

A/N: This is so weird to put online after literally daydreaming/brainstorming this plot since last year. Feedback is welcomed and if you want to be added to a taglist just message me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I just wanna know that in the end it was all worth it.

The pain, the agony, the death.

That at the end of it all we can say;

‘It was for the best.’

Do you know…

What I mean?”

You sat in the overgrown grass, sprouting up from green to yellow at the tips. Watching the sun dip low to kiss the earth. From orange to a deep pink that illuminated the faint stars in the afternoon sky. Patiently, eyes welling with tears, waiting for an answer.

Reiner started to speak, compelled to assure you, compelled to tell you;

It was worth every bit.

But he was swept away.

Your eyes shifted, the sun rose in the sky, the breeze rustled past the both of you, and several lifetimes seemed to pass too quickly for Reiner to decipher – stopping in the midst of labor to watch seagulls drifting in the morning sky, you squinting beneath the sun’s gaze.

“I wonder what it’s like,” you murmured. “To have wings like that. They have no idea how lucky they are.”

Reiner reached for you. To tell you something so heavy his heart weighed down his chest but thought against it.

Because in this very moment, you were blissfully unaware and freer than the birds you admired so wistfully.

He envied you. Like the poor envied the rich, with malice and adoration. Love and hate, but love won over and he swept you up in his arms, placed you on his shoulders and told you to fly. Your rambunctious laughter echoed for miles.

Never had he wanted to live in someone’s laugh, falling and falling into a bed full of wildflowers.

He flipped the pages of an old, ancient book, the brittle parchment hissing with every turn. Your index finger rested on a drawing of a flower that filled a whole page, dirt and bits of flower petals embedded under your fingernails. And you protested about there not being enough flowers, and pronounced ‘red dahlia’ all wrong, and he started to tell you something.

Something that weighed on his heart but he could not remember.

Only one thought he could recall; that if he said anything, he would surrender such a precious moment.

Instead, he basked in your smile as warm as the noonday sun as you rode horses out on an open field.

He was a yard ahead of you and your warm, frustrated smile twisted his insides like the sharp end of a bayonet. The pain made him yearn for something, excitement like he had never known searing through his entire body like a hot iron.

“It’s not fair, you’re so good at everything,” you whined but you were still smiling so fondly.

No one had ever smiled at him in such a way and he wanted to – owed it to you – to say something.

Yet before he could speak you lied underneath a night sky and wondered aloud, “If I need you, will you know? Will you always come and find me?” Voice so small, as if even the slightest reprimand would make you shrivel up and disappear.

He had the urge to tell you you could scream for him in your thoughts and he would still hear you.

He would fight like hell to get to you.

And he needed to tell you something.

But your eyes were on his for the last time. Glassy and afraid. Staring up at him as you breathed your last breath, cradled in his arms, the last pleas for your life on your lips. Blood soaked his clothes. Marred your face.

He had not come to get you, and it hadn’t been worth It in the end.

“Protect her,” someone screamed a strangled cry in the distance. “You just had to protect her-“

“I will protect her!” He shouted back, rage and grief pulsing through him. Lifting him up from his surroundings until all he could see was red. The color of your blood. Your tears. In the blood that seeped from his hand as he bit down hard--

And he awoke with a sob, sitting upright so quickly his head spun and black splotches filled his vision. His heart raced in his chest, and his breath ran from him. As if to find where you might lay, hollow and unmoving, and fill you up again.

He desperately tried to untangle himself from his covers, trying to get to you. To protect you so your eyes would always be alive with wonder and your smile would always be warm.

Reiner managed to get free and stumble on to the cold, wooden floor, heart galloping so loudly with fear that he heard it in his ears.

His mother, Karina, found him. Crawling in vain, tears streaming down his face, muttering to himself about a girl he’d saw in a dream.

“There, there, Reiner,” she had cooed, taking her son in her arms. “It was just a bad dream.”

“But-but,” Reiner managed, your dead, lifeless eyes engraved in his mind. “It was, like, I saw her. In a memory.”

Still, Karina ruffled his hair, holding him close. “When you become a warrior, you’ll never have to worry about someone getting hurt ever again. Your father will come back to us, and we’ll finally be a family. And no one will want to hurt us because they will finally understand we are good Eldian people,

You must protect us, Reiner.

From those island devils.

It’ll all be worth it in the end, you’ll see.”

When Reiner enrolled in the Warrior program, he thought of that dream. The one he’d had the night before enrollment and he imagined he was coming to you, the strange girl in the dream, to tell you he was a warrior.

Would that keep you smiling that warm smile that reached your eyes as if your whole body was alight? A smile not even his mother could muster from bearing the weight of his ancestors’ sins?

Would it keep you alive?

Then he felt embarrassed, ashamed even, that he was considering a silly dream.

And ran into the depths of his future.

➳

Meanwhile, across the sea, in a meadow field in Shigashina, you watched your mother close the storybook in her hands as she finished her last sentence.

“Thus, the knight defeated the dragon, rescued the princess, and they lived happily ever after. What a nice fairytale, isn’t it, y/n?”

Usually, you liked hearing your mother read her fairytales but that morning you couldn’t ignore the dark circles under your mother’s eyes and the bruise she hid with the sweep of her hair. With every passing day since your mother had remarried – no, even further than that, since your father had gone on a scouting expedition and never came back, you were reminded more and more that fairytales were not real.

You considered the titans outside the walls, waiting to devour humanity, and your mother waiting for your stepfather to change and wished aloud, “I wish I was a knight and then I could rescue us and we’d live happily ever after.”

Your mother had gasped, stricken-faced and speechless.

Before snatching your hands into hers and holding you steady. “Y/N L/N, you take that back right now. There is nothing wrong with the way we live. We could be in an even worse position without your father, you hear me?”

You started to protest, but she didn’t give you a moment to speak.

“Would you rather us live in the Underground? With no one to protect us? Because that’s what would have happened if he hadn’t shown us kindness. Are you really that ungrateful?”

She clutched your hands so harshly that you were brought to tears, before guiltily loosening her grip and pulling you into her arms. Her sobs reverberated against the small of your back as she buried her face into your eight-year-old frame.

“It’ll all work out in the end, baby,” she whispered as if she were convincing herself. “I promise.”

Laying in bed that night, you selfishly dreamed that there was a knight coming to save you. To tear down the infrastructure of your small little house in Shigashina. He’d run a sword through your enemies. He’d shield you from the titans. He’d reach for your hand, pull you out of the cold rubble of your home and he would take you away.

Somewhere far where no titans roamed the land and you ran free beneath the pretty birds that soared the blue skies.

But then the dream turned into a nightmare, the knight into a monster, who scooped you up in his large hand and swallowed you whole.

You woke up with a start as you were falling into the abyss but did not cry.

Instead, you looked out your window, waiting for the sun to rise high and kiss the sky. And you decided even if your knight was a titan, it would still be worth it all if you could get free.

[musewrangler]

In honor of OT Week here’s a little one shot I wrote a while back. My favorite film is The Empire Strikes Back.

This story is entitled— Piett’s Promotion

(In my work, the Lady is sentient and Veers didn’t die on Hoth)

He lost track of how many hours he had spent on the bridge, ruthlessly clamping down on his emotions. He had hated the man, it was true. And had suffered at his hands. But he had not ever wished that death upon him. He could still hear Ozzel’s wet chokes and see his bulging eyes, mere feet from himself. That last, desperate gurgle as he turned toward Piett-- as though the Captain could do anything against the Force. The thud of his body---it sounded like someone had dropped a bag of meat on the deck.

Lord Vader on the holoscreen, dispassionately squeezing the life from the man and calmly informing Piett what he wanted done with the fleet.

You are in command now, Admiral Piett.

So he went through the motions of being in command. Of taking reports. Checking duty rosters. Speaking to the morgue about the disposal of Ozzel’s body. Force . Writing to his family, because someone should.

Then---the asteroid field. His Lady, his fleet now, going to their destruction. And he had tried.

Three years he had worked with Vader and he had watched the obsession for finding Skywalker grow. Say what you would about Vader, and people did, he had seemed to genuinely care about Death Squadron, about the men and ships that served him faithfully. And he was being ordered to take that Squadron to their deaths, throw all that away, to find that damn ship.

So he had tried. He knew his life was forfeit. He went to Vader. His bridge crew clearly believed he would not return from that meeting. Veers had commed him as he walked to Vader’s quarters and begged him not to go. But he had to. For the sake of the men. For the sake of his Lady. And was told it was not an excuse. Vader was willing for the Lady, the pride of the fleet, his flagship, to be horrifically damaged, if not destroyed, in this obsessive quest.

The only moment in his entire career that Piett appreciated hearing from the Emperor happened just in time.

They had moved out of the asteroid field and Piett had an entirely new burden as damage reports flooded his datapad and alarms blared around the Lady’s bridge. So he did what he had to---he ordered repairs, he checked casualty reports, at one point, he personally had his hands in some of the Lady’s wiring, repairing damage to her bridge deflector shield.

And then…..

Avenger reported they had her.

Piett had served with Needa at one point. They weren’t quite friends, they hadn’t had time for that, but he liked the man and thought he was a good officer. And a good man.

So good that he felt he needed to shield his men from Vader’s unpredictable wrath. And for the second time in 48 hours, Piett had to stand by as another larynx was crushed and this time, Vader mocked his prey.

Apology accepted Captain Needa.

And all of Piett’s emotions must be silenced. Because he had his own men to think of. If he was to die, some other poor bastard would be Admiral. He would rather kill himself trying to save them than have Vader crush his throat.

At some point, and he genuinely couldn’t say when in the eternity he experienced, Captain Kelly had walked up to his side, carefully removed the datapad he found he’d been clenching in his hands, and quietly murmured, “Admiral, I have the bridge. Please sir, go and rest.”

Piett had stared at him a beat and then realized that he was being given a reprieve.

“You have the bridge, Captain,” he’d said in automatic tones that must have been his and then he was turning to walk as straight and confident as he could toward the blast doors.

First hurdle cleared, he made it to the turbolift where he allowed himself to lean against the wall for support.

There had been a time when he thought that Vader actually gave a damn about his men. That he was building something which Piett was proud to be part of. But this consuming obsession…..

His deck. He felt as though he was watching someone else as his boots moved slowly toward the Admiral’s quarters---his quarters.

Someone other than himself (perhaps Captain Kelly) had ordered his things transported here, and Ozzel’s removed. He could still smell the chemicals that the cleaning crew had used, to prepare it for their new admiral. He wondered if the smell would have faded by the time the next admiral was installed here. For he had no illusions. His death was coming swiftly in this mad chase for Skywalker.

One of his miniature trees was tipped over. In automatic response, he carefully righted it, scooping the dirt back in with his fingers. They were trembling.

Force. He needed a drink. He didn’t care if he was commed---he was going to die anyway, might as well add some liquid courage to face it.

He stumbled to the cabinet and found his liquor collection neatly put away. He found the strongest one he had--something from Dathomir--- and a glass, and poured it full, cursing the shaking in his hands as it spilled on the floor.

He stumbled to his sofa and sat, taking a long fiery drink, and then set the glass on the table, and managed to remove his hat and gloves. He unfastened the top of his duty jacket and found himself gazing at his very gleaming brand new Admiral bars.

Kriff it. He’d hated Ozzel but this had not been the way he wanted a promotion. Six hundred men had died today as a direct result of travelling through an asteroid field.

Dear family, I’m so sorry to write to you to inform you of the death of your son/father/brother. They were pulverized by a completely unnecessary asteroid trip because our commander has lost his kriffing mind over a Rebel pilot.

Piett took another long drink and poured another. As he made a good start on it, the lights of his quarters dipped into indigo.

He laugh/sobbed. “Yes lady, I am sad. That word…….doesn’t begin to cover what I’m feeling I’m afraid.”

Icey blue light--her color for fear. “Yes, literally afraid. I’m likely going to be dead soon….” He put the glass down again and buried his face in his hands.

The Lady. What would happen if he died next? Would Vader take care of her? Today’s actions didn’t seem to indicate that he would. Piett had to find a way to survive. Someone had to try and stand between Vader’s madness and this ship and crew.

The icey blue was flashing at him as he lifted his face and he realized that she was frightened at his words.

“I’m sorry….I’m sorry, Lady, I will do my best not to be. Lord Vader is….can you sense that he is not….right?”

Her regular lights flashed. <Yes>

He finished his glass and his head swam.

“Lady, if…..if…..I can’t, then you must take care of this crew. Do not let Lord Vader hurt you, do you understand?”

And that was dangerously close to treason, even in his rather intoxicated ears.

She flashed her lights and gave him indigo again.

“I’m sorry, Lady, but you need to be prepared, if I……” he reached for the bottle again, and suddenly strong hands were taking it from him, and he followed the hands with his eyes up to the deeply compassionate gaze of the General.

“Enough, Firmus.” He set the bottle somewhere out of sight and came around the sofa to kneel in front of Piett and begin undoing his duty jacket.

The Admiral’s swimming brain was struggling now, between the alcohol and the exhaustion of terror.

“Max. You’re in sickbay.” He raised a finger to point at him. “You will be in soooooo much trouble with Henley.”

“I discovered today, much to my shock,” Veers began, helping Piett shrug out of the jacket and reaching for his boots next, “that underneath multiple layers of baked on cynicism and appalling condescension, the Doctor might possibly have a heart. When he heard you were on a path to throw yourself between Vader and this crew, he let me go early. And your Lady got my attention a short while ago by blinding me with that white light she’s chosen for you.”

The General had finished wrestling off his boots and Piett noted the still pink and healing lines on his face from his injuries on Hoth.

“Now,” said Veers firmly. “I would say congratulations, but this is not the time and I’m so kriffing sorry that it happened this way, Firmus.”

“He was right next to me,” Piett whispered, and found himself irrationally angry that his hands were still shaking. “I need one more drink, Max, I’ve got to keep it together….”

“You do need one more drink, Admiral, but not alcohol.” The General rose and procured a glass of water which he came back and handed carefully to his friend. “That’s an order, drink it all. I found out how long you were on the bridge, and you are no doubt dehydrated. Drinking that much….” he looked back at the bottle, “damn when you go for it, you really do, don’t you? Dathomirian vodka? Yes, more water it is.”

Piett did not like the feeling of crumbling, but it was happening and he couldn’t make it stop. He tried anyway. “Techina---telechni---kriff, technically , I outrank you now, General Veers.”

He saw Max pause and glance at him with an eyebrow raised. “Well. Even plastered, trust you to know your military protocols by heart. That is true, Admiral .”

Piett flinched at the title. Veers relented, getting more water silently and snagging the duvet from the bed in the other room.

Don’t be comforting Max. I can’t. I will break utterly and I don’t think I have time for that.

Another glass of water was shoved into his hands and then his duvet was draped around his shoulders. Veers seated himself close to his friend.

“I know you pretty well now Firmus, would you agree?”

Piett just nodded, drinking the water, letting it slide down a throat that was feeling tighter by the moment.

Like Ozzel’s, like Needa’s.

“So I hope you can trust me enough to believe what I’m going to say.” Veers paused, considering. “A great deal of bantha poodo has occurred in the last several days. Hoth was a success in some ways. But I lost three walkers.”

“I’m sorry, Max I should have….”

“You should have nothing, Firmus. You haven’t had a single second to breathe until now and I know it. My point is, that our commander is…..not what we had hoped. But we both have men under our command and I know that you care about that. If what I overheard you telling the Lady is any indication…..you don’t expect to make it much longer.”

Piett shuddered involuntarily and in a rare move (he must look pathetic) Veers got an arm around him.

“I’m here to tell you, that you must . Keep your head down, follow orders, do your best as you always do, and hope that Lord Vader remembers that you are one of his most competent and loyal officers.”

And he would like to find some shreds of hope in that, he would, but….

“Did you…..” he cleared his throat and gave another attempt. “Did you hear about Needa?”

A pause. Veers sighed. “Yes. Kriff it. Were you there for that too?”

And the throat that was now unbearably tight wouldn’t work for him to make any words, and Piett leaned forward to hide his face in his hands as his shoulders shook.

Veers’ arm tightened around him.

“Get it out here, Firmus, it won’t help to try and bury that. I’ll be here as long as you need.”

You are in command now, Admiral Piett.

[dolliedarlin]

a love like rodger and jessica ⏤denki k.

s u m m a r y : You and Denki have a love like Rodger and Jessica Rabbit

l e n g t h : 2k

g e n r e : fluff ; praises ; body worship ; supportive kaminari ; best boi kaminari ; precious baby 

w a r n i n g s : mentions of lovemaking

p a i r i n g s : denki k x f.reader

a / n : this is a quick little headcanon I came up with at three am and needed to get out as soon as possible before I lose the will to write it. I hope you all enjoy the read! Feel free to comment and like - tell me what you think, constructive criticism is always welcome.

❥ You're a self-made millionaire, CEO of a successful skincare and beauty company, investor and supermodel. The level of success you've been able to accumulate over the years is nothing to sneeze at, especially with your young age of 21.

❥ However, you draw more eyes for your beauty and body rather than your accomplishments. It's rather annoying but you've grown used to it.

❥ It isn't a lie that you're as stunning as they come. And with a body that elicits lust and unspeakable fantasies in the men and women around you, it can be said that your beauty has more power than what any of your achievements could ever provide you with.

❥ It's disappointing how you've worked so hard but still seem to achieve so little despite the empire you've built from the ground up.

❥ You've turned many young and handsome, accomplished men down, no longer your naive self. Even with their own triumphs and wealth, you can see their true intentions when looking into their greedy eyes.

❥ They only want you for your body and only regard you with contempt - there was no love, there was no honesty, they never did anything to make you feel comfortable or smile.

❥ That was all you wanted.

❥ But, perhaps, it's too childish to think about such things now.

❥ You had given up all hope and with that loss of hope came a hardened shell that nobody could break. Deep inside your heart, you still wished for a fairy tale romance and a happy life where you could smile freely and be comfortable, which is why your piercing glare, harsh demeanor and cold speech manifested in defense of those desires.

❥ It was a normal day at work; you had several meetings to attend concerning collaborations with other brands in the morning before you needed to head off to attend a photoshoot for a magazine concerning skincare.

❥ You had just been on your way to said photoshoot, in fact, when a villain attack hastily painted an image of red and blue lights, panic, destruction, and screaming people before you.

❥ Upon realizing that you were in the line of attack, you rushed to exit your car. You have been a victim of your own clumsiness many times in the past despite their rare occurrence, but ill-luck had you tripping over in your attempt to flee, causing a stinging pain to shoot up your right leg.

❥ With your back turned and crumbled to the floor in pain, you became an easy target and didn't register the careless attack directed towards you until you heard a shout of warning.

❥ "Woah! Watch it, lady!"

❥ Behind you was the Stun Gun Hero himself: Chargebolt! You had never interacted with heroes but you greatly admired their work, heroism, and sense of justice. Keeping the peace and putting villains in jail brought on a sense of security that you never took for granted. However, you had never been more grateful for their presence than that moment.

❥ "Hurry and run away!" at his command, you attempted to stand and run off but instead was painfully reminded that during your fall, you had managed to sprain your ankle.

❥ What terrible luck.

❥ "I-I can't-" you almost sob, hating how powerless you were feeling in that moment, "I think I sprained my ankle,"

❥ You heard him mutter a curse before shouting at the other heroes on-site to cover him whereby he then took the chance to rush in carrying you in his arms and run to safety.

❥ "P-please be careful," you plea, worried about his welfare as you wrap your arms around his neck for security.

❥ "Don't worry about it!" he flashes you a toothy grin, "Just hold on tight and I'll get you somewhere safe! You can count on me!" for once in your life, even though you were still in a dangerous setting, you felt comfortable and safe.

❥ In this stranger's arms, you felt protected - it was a wonderful feeling. It made you lean even closer into him, catching a whiff of his husky scent combined with his sweat. What a pleasant aroma.

❥ Maybe you should make a perfume inspired by it and have him model in the commercial?

❥ This wasn't like you, you're embarrassed to admit. Even though you're in danger, you would still do anything to keep him close to you or see him again. You weren't some lovestruck school girl, you needed to get a hold of yourself!

❥ Finally at a safe place, he set you down as he panted heavily, "Damn, I need to get better at cardio," huffing out a breath, he checked you over, "you alright?"

❥ "Other than the ankle, I'm good," you smiled up at him, trying to convey your gratefulness.

❥ "Great! The ambulance will be here soon for any casualties so-..." he pauses. In the heat of the moment, his priority had been your safety and so he hadn't really taken the time to look at you, really look at you, and see how beautiful you were. Now that he had caught his breath, and began to process that he had carried a beauty in his arms, who was now smiling up at him, a dangerous heat crawled up his neck and blew steam out of his ears.

❥ "A-are you okay?!" had he been hit by something while he was carrying you off?

❥ "So beautiful..." he muttered, continuing to stare at you, your face, your body, even straining his ears to better hear your sultry voice.

❥ "What was that?" with a tilt of your head, Kaminari had to turn his gaze away so as not to get even more flustered and possibly die from too much blood rushing to his head. Beautiful and cute - a dangerous combination to have in a woman. He could fall to his knees and submit to you right then and there, shamelessly. It took everything in him to hold back.

❥ "Y-you're just really beautiful, sorry."

❥ For once in your life, someone was being honest with you. Yes, many people have called you beautiful but their reactions were never as raw or red as the hero standing before you. It was amusing and made you want to keep him close.

❥ "Thank you..." you had to say, he was pretty easy on the eyes as well, "you are also very handsome,"

❥ "Why thank you, pretty lady~" he sent you a playful wink which made you giggle, only spurring the male to continue his flirtatious act. It might have been out of habit or maybe it was a defense mechanism since he's never come across someone so beautiful before, either way, he was already dropping another cheesy pick up like before he realized what he was doing, "but, you know, you're very pretty and I'm cute..."

❥ "Hmm?~" you raised a brow, where was he going with this?

❥ "Together, we'd be pretty cute,"

❥ You didn't mean to offend him but you laughed and laughed and laughed, not realizing how his once grinning face had turned downcast and flourished red with embarrassment.

❥ "You have a point there," you giggled, catching the male off guard and almost making him self-combust, "whatever shall I do?~" you ponder aloud, looking at him with a twinkle in your eye.

❥ "Well...it just so happens that I'm writing a phone book," time to shoot his shot, "can I have your number?

❥ "Of course, you can~"

❥ Meeting Denki was a blessing in your life.

❥ He's a goofball with a heart of gold that was always getting overlooked by women, as he's told you on one of your many dates together.

❥ "It's their loss," you hum as you cuddle up into his side, his arm laying across your shoulders, "because you're mine now~"

❥ Truly, he was your ideal man.

❥ He never took you for granted, he was always honest, he praised you and worshipped you like a goddess and he made you feel loved and comfortable being yourself, which is what mattered above all else.

❥ In return, you were his ideal woman.

❥ You freely loved him for who he was, when people told you you deserved better than him, you shut them down quicker than a lightning strike, you actually liked his cheesy pickup lines and flirted right back. The achievements he's been able to get as a hero, you still praised no matter how small, as if he was the number one hero himself - you would even go so far as to say that he's your number one in everything. And, for a bonus, you were the beauty amoungst all beauties!

❥ All those rejections, all the insecurities he had to go through by being rejected by multiple women was all worth it because now he had you in his life.

❥ "Where have you been all my life, Denki? How did I ever live without you?" you sighed into the crook of his neck, straddling his lap as he hugged your waist and gave you a kiss on the temple.

❥ "Babe, that's my line," he chuckled.

❥ At first, he was always so flustered around you but over time, he's grown a reasonable amount of immunity. That didn't mean he stopped praising you for your achievements or worshipping your body whenever you were in bed together, however. He still did all those things.

❥ If others praise you, he didn't stop them because he knows you deserve all the praise but when he found out that you didn't take their words to heart like you did his and explained why, he made sure to be off patrol that night and kept you with him between the sheets until sunrise. For hours, he worshipped your body like a temple made of gold. Between kisses and gasping breaths, he applauded you for your achievements and assured you of all flaws you saw in yourself.

❥ That night you realised the true meaning of 'making love'.

❥ In hero awarding events, you'd accompany him dressed elegantly, with your hair and makeup done and smelling as intoxicating as you looked.

❥ "DEnKi How DArE YOuUuu!" his close friend, Mineta (you think it was), sobbed at the sight of you and him together on the red carpet as a couple. Even though they were friends, Kaminari instantly stood in front of you so as to shield you away from Mineta's perverted gaze.

❥ "Thank you, Darling~" you cooed, giving your blonde hero a kiss on the back of the neck before nuzzling in between his shoulder blades.

❥ On the outside, Denki allowed himself to grin and pull you into his arms with a cool air about him, seemingly unaffected by your actions but you knew him better than that. It was only because cameras were around and he needed to keep up his image. Inside, he was melting into a puddle of goo and you know it. He, very well, could've brushed you aside to appear better like all the other men you unfortunately dated before but, instead, he makes you feel special and loved.

❥ "I know I'm the luckiest guy in the world but please be more respectful Mineta," his arms tighten around you securely, shielding your curves from prying eyes. Appreciating the gesture, you turn his face to capture him in a kiss. It's a kiss that still makes his knees weak even after months of dating.

❥ "Let's go to our seats, dear," you lead the blonde away by the tie, knowing how your kisses can sometimes leave him releasing small bolts of electricity from his palms and fingertips. It was cute how a simple kiss could turn him as dumb as he was when he overused his quirk would, only in a slightly different way.

❥ Vice versa, whenever you had a big company party or event, Denki always made it so that he could attend the event with you. He wanted to be there to protect you and shut the men down who tried to approach you with ill intentions.

❥ With your human Pikachu around, you came to love going to events. It was a time where you could dress up just for him and eventually get undressed by him the moment you arrived home.

❥ Endless praises, endless love, endless comfort, endless laughter. That was what it felt like to be with Denki.

❥ He was your Rodger and you were his Jessica

bnha mlist . 

[windmaedchen-fairytail]

Just Like Mine 2

“Mom, can I have this?”

Astra lifted her head heavily from her husband’s thighs and looked over to Niko, who now stood in the living room with a large, dark cloth in his hands.

“What even is that?”, she asked just a split second before she remembered it to be some left over fabric from her sewing a couple years back. “Uh, sure, honey. What do you want to do with it?”

“I want to make myself a cape!”

“A cape?” Laxus dropped his magazine and looked over to his son, but Niko was already running out the room and back upstairs. “Astra… I think you should maybe help him?”

Astra rested her forehead against Laxus’s thigh for a moment longer. She had just settled down after working in the garden all morning but he was right. Niko would have more fun if he didn’t accidentally ruin the fabric by cutting it too small. Astra got up, gave her husband a quick kiss on the cheek and followed Niko upstairs.

He was in the guestroom. The fabric now laid out on the floor and Niko was bend over the sewing box, searching for something.

“Hey, can I help you make a super fantastic cape?”, inquired Astra softly.

Niko turned around. “Yes! Mom, do we have a little string thing so I can close the cape here?” He pointed to the centre of his chest. Astra smiled and kneeled down next to the fabric.

“I am sure we have something for you. How about we do this properly? I will help you cut the fabric into the right shape. How long do you want the cape to be?”

For the next two hours they were working on Niko’s little cape project. He cut the fabric according to the lines his mother had drawn and together they folded the seams and used the sewing machine to stitch them down. They even found a nice black ribbon, so that Niko could tie the cape together in the front. When it was finally finished, Astra suggested he should go and present the cape to his father. Niko, however, ran to his room saying it wasn’t actually done yet. So Astra had no choice but to leave him working on his project alone and went to join Laxus in the kitchen, preparing for lunch.

---

Later in the day,

the grown-ups of the house found their way into the kitchen to prepare themselves a coffee. Astra had just grabbed two cups when she felt her husband’s hand on her arm. He gestured her to be quiet, then pointed towards the open door connecting to the hallway. She placed the cups gently down and stepped to Laxus’s side, following his gaze into the corridor.

Niko was kneeling on top of the sideboard again, his eyes fixed onto the two pictures of Ivan Dreyar on the wall. The cape was now embellished with several strips of white paper, arranged around both, the collar and the bottom seam. Large black dots were drawn into the bottom triangle and a thin green line outlined each strip. He seemed to assess the accuracy of his own cape compared to that of the younger Ivan.

Astra squeezed Laxus’s hand and pulled him back a little, away from the door before whispering to him.

“You know we have all the things upstairs. Maybe we should show him?”

Laxus sighed. “Haven’t we told him enough?”

“No… no, Laxus. Look at him, he wants to engage with his grandfather so much more. It’s all he has been thinking of lately. He didn’t ask much more because he can feel our hesitation and your resistance especially to speak about him.”

“Astra, why are you so… why can’t you just leave him in the past where he belongs?”

“Because I can’t help to feel that engaging with our memory of him will be… better for our souls than to try and eradicate it.”

There was a moment of pause. Laxus didn’t really understand Astra’s position. She had suffered more under Ivan than he did and yet it was her who pushed towards keeping the memory if his father alive. He deeply sighed again.

“We are NOT telling him anything about you and dad.”

“Of course not. He will need to be much older for that. But all the picture albums I prepared, the boxes full of books and items, the furniture, the cloak… he can see all that.”

Laxus resigned. “After coffee.”

“All right.” Astra smiled and gently rubbed the tip of her nose against that of her husband. Then she turned around and continued where she left of.

---

Niko came into the living room,

just as they were about to finish their coffees. He still wore his new cape but he looked much more frustrated than happy about it. Laxus picked up on that.

“What’s wrong, Niko?”

The boy violently lifted the corners of his cape and threw them away in front of him. Two of the paper strips came loose and fluttered away as the fabric came back to rest.

“They don’t stick properly.” Then he squatted down and folded his arms over his face and knees. “Stupid cape.”

“Don’t be silly, honey, you made yourself a fantastic cape!”, intercepted Astra.

Laxus nodded in agreement. “And if you think we didn’t recognise it, you are also mistaken. It’s like you just borrowed it from your grandfather himself!”, he said.

He bend down and extended one hand to grab and pull Niko up by his arm. “Mom can help you with those strips. I am not a seamstress but I still know that paper and fabric don’t work so well together.”

Niko let himself be cuddled by his dad but he kept his face hidden in Laxus’s shoulder as he sobbed in frustration.

“Hm, I think I know what would lift your spirits.”

The boy swallowed and after a second a muffled, curious “what” seemingly emerged from Laxus’s shoulder.

“Mom has something special to show you.”

Following the cue, Astra emptied her cup and stood up. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

---

Hesitantly Niko followed his mother.

She led him up both stairs to the door below the roof. He knew that behind that door was another small home where his father used to live but he has been there only once, or maybe twice, and didn’t remember much of it.

There were a lot of boxes in different sizes stacked by one wall, an old sofa was covered in various blankets and furs, a large desk blocked the small balcony and further furniture made moving around rather tricky. They made their way to the sofa where Niko was told to sit and wait for a second. Astra turned around and headed to the large boxes by the wall. As she searched, Laxus and his sister Yetta followed into the flat as well.

“Right, I got it! Close your eyes, Niko!”

Niko put his hands over his face and while he waited, he felt how his father and sister nestled down next to him. When he removed his hands a moment later, he laid eyes on a rather large, heavy looking cape. Niko nearly slapped himself as his hands came to his cheeks in a flash, gasping with his mouth wide open. The grin on Astra’s face grew wide as she saw the big, round eyes of her son as he sat tall and erect, staring at her gently swaying left to right with Ivan’s old cloak over her shoulders.

“What do you think, Niko. Does it suit me?”

The boy pointed and wiggled his fingers at her. “That’s the cloak, from the other picture!”

“It’s the one your father and I have seen on Ivan many times. You see, after his death we kept quite a few things of his. And this is an extremely well made garment. Would you like to know how heavy it is?”

“YES!”

Niko sprang instantly from the sofa and climbed impatiently over to where his mother stood. She gently lifted the cloak from her own shoulders and onto those of her excited son.

“Hold still”, she demanded chuckling. It was naturally way to big so she gently held on to the collar while Niko moved in it. His faced glowed with admiration as he lifted the bottom edge and played with the individual strips of fabric hanging from the shoulder seam.

“Woah, heavy. And it smells!”

Laxus chuckled. “You need to do some growing before you fit into that cloak.”

“Whose is that?” inquired Yetta. She leaned against his father's chest but now that she saw Niko stand there with this strange cloak she got curious herself.

“It’s Dad’s Dad’s!” Niko giggled and kept staring down himself in admiration. Yetta got up. “I wanna try, too.”

“Come on then”, invited Astra her daughter. Once she had shuffled through and after some slight resistance by a certain young man, Astra placed the cloak on her tiny shoulders, holding onto the collar again to keep it steady.

“It’s really heavy!”, exclaimed the girl. Niko felt with his fingers the stitching of the black circles and the seamed edges. He looked back to his own cape where another paper strip from his collar had fallen down. Astra noticed and reassured his son.

“I have an idea how we can make those strips. But we will need to go buy something in town tomorrow, okay?”

Niko nodded. He would love that but for now he allowed his mother to usher Yetta and him back onto the sofa.

“I have more to show you. Let’s put this over the chair for a while. Sit, sit and leave me a spot in the middle.”

Astra then took two large albums from a box next to her and returned to the sofa.

“What are those?”

“Photos! I have sorted many of these and put them into these albums. Gramps helped me with recognising who the people were and what some pictures are about.”

“And there are pictures of Grandpa?”, asked Niko excited.

“Yes, plenty! I have the feeling you’ll like this. So come closer and we shall have a look, okay?”

Niko had already forgotten his frustration from earlier and his eyes shone brightly as the whole family spend the rest of the day exploring the past.

[nicetomeetniall]

Several times I missed you-HS

 Masterlist

Summary:

Harry is not doing so well with the breakup.

Word Count: 1,941

Warnings: A little bit sad.

I missed you when we began to drift before it was over. You had always kept me up too late, rambling on about things I only cared about since they involved you.  We always climed into bed and stayed up for maybe an hour longer, you talking and me listening. Our eyes would be closed and the lights off. Anyone would have thought we were fast asleep unless they heard you talking. Sometimes the stories were about coworkers or whatever book you were currently reading. You talked about the characters as if they were real and you knew them. I never realized how much I loved that. Other times it was less interesting topics like reality tv. I’d tune in out just enough to feel myself drift to sleep and then you’d pull me back in.

“Harry, are you listening to me?” You’d ask and turn around as best as you could given my arms around your stomach and your back to my chest. 

“Yes, baby. You’re talking about Love Island.” I would usually respond and nestle my chin further into your shoulder after I placed a few kisses against it.

The night we stopped having these talks, I missed it. It was sudden. There was no gradual shortening of the conversations. One night we had them and the next we didn’t. Instead, you were silent after we exchanged our goodnights. We were so distant and I hadn’t even noticed until our bed conversations seemed more intimate than anything else we did. 

I missed you again when I went home to my mothers after the breakup. You had urged me to be the one who stayed at our apartment until other living arrangements were made. You offered to be the one to leave and stay with a friend but I refused. It didn’t feel right. It seemed like it was now more your space than mine, anyway. I was away so much. You were the one who held it down and called when something broke. It was yours. Just hours after we had cried in eachothers arms, not wanting to seperate but knowing it was best I was on my mom’s porch. I had a backpack filled with just a few days worth of clothes because I hoped that was all I would need. There was hope that we’d figure out a way to make it work and we’d be back to normal. I cried most of the drive to my moms and I shouted just a little bit of it. I was so stupid. For the past few years it was you who stood next to my side as we waited for my mom to answer the door. It always took her forever and we’d laugh about it. She always hugged and kissed you first. I always pretended to be offended when she greeted you before me. I missed that more than ever when she opened the door and her face dropped. She only had me to greet this time. She didn’t have to ask questions to know that we had ended. I wished she would have. Maybe we wouldn’t seem so far away if she asked me about what you were doing at work or how your parents were. 

And then the inevitable came too quickly. You called me just four days after everything went down. Unlike the last time we spoke, your words weren't in between sobs. I hoped that you were telling me to come back home. You weren’t. 

“I’ve got most of my things out.” You said, not even saying ‘hello’ first. “The furniture is all still there.”

“No, it’s yours. It’s all yours. I’m not coming back there.” I said as I quickly sat down on the couch. My legs went weak and my heartbeat quickened. 

“Some of your things are here, ba-Harry. You should come get them. Some of them are important.”

I wanted to fight it and tell you it didn’t matter. You could donate anything. Sell it. I didn’t care. None of it was important. 

“I’ll come by tomorrow. Will you be there?” I asked.

“Yeah, I should be.”

The following morning I made the drive to where we based our lives. The front door was unlocked, letting me know you were right inside. I hated when you left the door unlocked. You had a habit of doing it. I was always getting out of bed to make sure it was locked and although it was sometimes annoying; it wasn’t as bad as turning over in bed and not seeing you there.

As soon as I opened the door I saw you. Your head turned so you could meet my eyes. I wasn’t looking at first. Instead I saw how you were sitting in the middle of the living room floor. Our photo albums were in front of you and there was a stack of photos at your side. 

“Just pictures of my family and stuff.” You said and quickly stood up. “I’m not messing with...ours.”

You had changed so much already. It was your presence. You looked the same, talked the same, but you didn’t act the same. I wondered if I had already changed, too.

You were much more cautious as you walked over towards me. I expected you to walk past me and towards the hallway so you could give me space. I didn’t expect your arms around me and your face to my chest. I could barely hug you back before you pulled away, keeping your hands on my arms.

“Are you okay?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowed and your lips turned down.

i wasn’t sure of the right thing to say. Saying yes could make you think I was unbothered and saying no could make you feel bad. When my mouth opened but no words came out, you understood.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to say anything.” You gave me a faint smile before you let go of my arms, making them feel heavy.

We spent a few hours in the apartment moving past each other as we gathered our things. You had already gotten most of your things, but there were pictures on the walls, kitchen things, and bathroom supplies you had purchased that still needed rounded up. I barely got anything done at all. 

In all those hours I had boxed only two boxes of clothes. I wasn’t sure where the time had gone. I was paying attention to the music playing from your phone and the sounds of you walking around the space. As I was folding up a shirt, you came into the room.

“Everything of mine is good to go.” You said, looking down as you leaned against the doorframe. “I left the rest of the photos. I wasn’t sure what we should do with them.”

“You don’t want any?” I asked, not meaning to sound as harsh as I did. “I mean, not even from our trips? Memories, you know?”

You pursed your lips to the side and I could tell you felt bad. 

“Well, I have them all on my phone and backed up.” You said, finally looking up to meet my eyes. Things were silent for a few moments before I spoke again.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ll do something with them.” I assured with a nod to try to convince myself that I was okay. 

YOu stood in the doorway for too long. It was awkward and painful, but I didn’t mind too much. At least you were still around. 

“It’s not our fault. You know that, right?” You asked, taking my attention from the t-shirt in my hands I had folded several times.

I thought it was our fault. How could we let something as special as this end? 

“I don’t know.” I said, finally tossing the shirt into the box in front of my feet, not caring that it came unfolded. “It’s four years that have just been thrown away.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and opened your mouth as if to argue what I said, but then your face softened. 

“I think you’re too important to just throw away, Harry. I won’t be throwing us away. Keep in touch, would you?”

I missed us.

People always talked about how it could be hard to get to sleep on your own after being with someone. I never believed it until a week after I last spoke to you. At first it was easy to sleep. I could nap for a few hours and forget about what you may be doing. It was an easy way to escape. After a while, I was up until the morning came. I tried keeping the TV and the fan on. None of it worked.

There was nothing that could replace the feeling the blankets being pulled from around me or your leg against mine. I tried to turn the TV on as high as I could without bothering my new roommate in an effort to replace what should be the sound of your breathing.

I didn’t get much sleep.

Once things had begun to really sink in, I tried to make you out to be a bad person. It would be easier if I could be angry. If I could pick out my least favorite things about us and magnify them, maybe I could find peace. I really tried.

I thought back to all the times I was picking your shoes up from in front of the doorway. You were always taking your shoes off as soon as you opened the front door. I remembered how frustrating it was when you forgot to turn the bathroom light off in the middle of the night.

Those things weren’t huge deals at all. Is stepping over a pair of shoes in the morning that big of a deal? No. I didn’t care most days.  

Neither of us did any wrong.

After several of my friends suggested going out, I did. She was a former coworker and we went out for lunch. It felt wrong. The entire time she was talking I had to remind myself to think of her in ways other than strictly friendly. As sweet as she was, she wasn’t you. Lunch ended with me thanking her for her time. It was a terrible date. 

Two months passed before we talked. I could have reached out first, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to disrespect you or your boundaries. Looking back, I’m sure you probably felt the same way. I still admire the courage you had to do what you felt was necessary. 

We talked on the phone for a while. You were telling those stories you used to tell when we were in bed. I’m sure that if I had closed my eyes and cuddled up in bed, I would feel exactly like I had on one of those nights we had. 

“I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable.” You started. I could feel your anxiety through the phone an quickly remembered that we were no longer the same as before. 

“I just want you to know that I’m still the most comfortable with you. This phone call, us talking, hearing your breathing. Although we’re different, I care about you just as much as I did before.” You finished. 

I didn’t have much to say. I agreed and told you that I was always available for you in whatever way you needed. You told me the same. As afraid as I was, as heartbroken, as sure I was that you were the only person for me, I found comfort knowing you would always be around. Soulmates aren’t always romantic.

--

[prophecy-is-inevitable]

Day of the Dead

Xavier x Fem Reader

Halloween had always been Xavier’s favorite holiday, and it’s not the same without him this year. After a child in a cemetery shares some words of wisdom with you, you decide to pay your final respects at Camp Redwood.

Warnings: Angst, Grief/Mourning a Loved One, Fluff, Smut, Soft!Ghost Xavier (Let me know if you’d like me to add anything!)

Word Count: 3344

Here is the Xavier “Halloween” Oneshot! I thought it would be good to at least mention the other holiday celebrated this weekend, and who better to do that with than our favorite pastel-wearing ghost! The incorporation of the Day of the Dead into this story is meant with respect and acknowledgement to those who celebrate. ¡Feliz Día de los Muertos!

--------

It had been hard to believe, even with all of the news coverage and the funeral. It was all the people of LA could talk about all summer long. The beach waves hardly drowned out the murmurs of sunbathers and surfers recalling the latest articles or how they’re pretty sure they’d had an aerobics class with Montana Duke as one point. It made you sick. A man was in a coma. One of your acquaintances was in prison. People had died--your friends...your loved one. 

You still couldn’t accept that Xavier was gone. When he had told you he was going to Camp Redwood to work as a counselor with his friends, you had kissed him goodbye and told him to have fun. If you had known that the only time you would see him again would be in his casket, you would have said more. You would have told him that he was the only one you wanted to spend your days and nights with. You would have told him that you loved him. 

Los Angeles was a place that offered so many possibilities and so many options. The both of you had agreed to keep your options open, even as you found yourselves falling back into one another when things didn’t quite work out with said options. This summer trip with his friends would be a good chance for him to unwind and take a break from the city and maybe meet someone new. He’d invited you, of course, but he knew as well as you did that the summer job wouldn’t cover your rent, and you had a decent job in the city. Again, maybe if you had known how much you would miss seeing those frosted tips walking through your door or the sassy sway of his hips when he came to wrap his arms around you in the kitchen, you would have gone. Maybe you could have saved him if you had been there. Maybe he could have lived instead of you.

Xavier was always stronger than you. He had a smile that could light up the room and make those around him beam in return. Everyone wanted to be him or be with him. He had a confidence and charisma in the way he carried himself and treated those around him that you couldn’t help but admire. Even if his beautiful steel eyes found their way to others, they always managed to come back to you. To be fair, your own eyes often appreciated others, as did your hands and lips. Subconsciously, you always found yourself comparing the taste of another’s kiss or the feeling of their lips on yours to the pillowy soft caresses or passionate captive embraces of Xavier’s.

Halloween made it even harder. Xav had always, always loved Halloween. He’d thoroughly enjoyed the ability to find a costume and dress up and take on a character for a night. As an aspiring actor, it was good practice and something he was passionate about. It hurt you deeply to know that he could no longer take part in the things he loved the most. Without him, these things were just painful reminders of how empty your life felt now. 

You didn’t bother dressing up this year. Some of the day you simply spent by his grave, placing tiny pumpkins as decorations or telling him your happiest memories from years prior.

“Do you remember a couple years ago, Xav? When we tried to carve pumpkins and forgot to get those special little serrated knives to make it easier? You tried to use a butter knife, because you were afraid you’d cut yourself with anything else. The knife was so dull it hardly cut through the damn thing and ended up pushing it off the table.” You laughed softly at the memory even as tears trickled down your cheeks. “It exploded all over the floor and we were finding seeds under things in the kitchen for weeks.”

Many Mexican families had come to the LA area in hopes of better prospects, and you watched as many of them trickled into the cemetery throughout the day with arms full of flowers and food and photographs of loved ones in celebration of Día de los Muertos. You watched, enraptured, as a family situated themselves a couple graves over from you and began decorating the tombstone in candles and flowers. Their child caught you staring and smiled. Their tiny hands placed a large loaf of bread in the center of the altar they had created before they joined you.

“You look sad.” You couldn’t help but smile softly at the child’s innocent observation.

“Yes. I miss someone very much. He meant a lot to me.” Your hand reached out to graze the top of Xavier’s tombstone. He’d had no family, or at least no family that you knew of, and his other friends had shared his fate. The child smiled at you brightly and that confused you. They seemed to notice your confusion and they tilted their head.

“You don’t need to be sad. As long as you remember them, their spirit will live on and be happy in the afterlife,” they explained. Large tears brimmed in your eyes and a tightness took hold of your throat. “If we don’t forget our loved ones, they can always come back to us.” You blinked up at them, surprised at the way their words comforted you as you sat in the damp cemetery grass. They darted back over to their family for a moment, and then returned to you with something in their hands. It was a small sugar skull. You placed it carefully at the center of Xavier’s gravemarker and admired the bright blue details of the eyes and yellow swirls around the crown of the skull. Xav would have appreciated the resemblance.

The next day, you decided to visit Camp Redwood and say your final goodbyes. Maybe it would help you get some closure or feel momentarily closer to Xavier if you saw the last place he had been alive. Seeing the wooden sign gave you goosebumps, and you stopped your car before crossing beneath it. Were you ready for this? You swallowed thickly and eased down the gas pedal to drive towards the camp. 

Everything looked...so normal. It looked exactly like you would expect a summer camp to look during the fall. There were leaves and needles everywhere, and the smell of damp earth and trees filled the air. A morbid part of you was expecting something awful, something that gave away the terrible events that happened here. You got out of the car once you reached the main area of the campgrounds where you could see the cabins. It was getting hard to breathe.

Several minutes passed before you mustered up the courage to actually open the door and get out. There was a strange silence in the air that even the birds didn’t want to break. It was still and peaceful, and it made the hair at the base of your neck stand up. Upon reaching one of the picnic tables, you pulled a small framed photo of Xavier from your purse. You propped it up and smiled softly at the goofy grin on his face. He’d gone for headshots not long before his trip to the camp, and you remembered him telling you how hard it was for him not to smile. The photographer had liked the picture so much that they had printed it anyway. You loved the look of excitement on his handsomely sculpted face. There was a small tea candle in your purse that you placed with the picture and watched the flame dance on the glass of the frame.

“I’m so sorry, Xavier. I miss you so much.” You crossed your arms on the top of the picnic table and rested your head on them as you wept. “I should have been here with you. Or at least told you what you meant to me.” You sniffled and choked a quiet sob. You’d never said the words out loud, and they lodged painfully in your throat when you tried to express them to the empty air. “I love you, Xavier.” But it was too little too late.

“You...love me?’ a voice asked quietly behind you. Your head instantly shot up from your arms. You were hearing things. Slowly, you turned around, and your mouth dropped open at the man standing there. You were on your feet instantly, nearly tripping over the bench of the table to do so, and you took a step towards him.

“Xavier? But you...you died. I was at your funeral… How..?” The shock had your heart hammering in your chest, and you found it hard to catch your breath. A sad smile crossed the plump lips that you had missed so much, and he shrugged as if what he said was the most casual thing in the world.

“Yeah. I’m dead, babe. I know.” Slow steps brought him to you as if he were approaching an injured animal preparing to bolt into the wilderness. “But did you mean what you said? That you love me?” Your mouth opened and closed without knowing exactly how to respond. What was happening?! His hand came up to stroke your cheek, and a shuddering breath pulled from your lungs at the familiar warmth. It felt so real. You instantly covered his hand with your own as more tears streaked your cheeks. “Please. Say it again.”

“I love you, Xavier.” In that moment, you didn’t care how it had happened or what was happening. This was your Xavier and you had a second chance. You were not going to let it slip away. “I love you so much.” Both of your hands reached up and cupped his face, your thumbs stroking his high cheekbones, and he did the same to you. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears at your words, and his body tensed like a spring prepared to snap.

“I love you, too.” Xavier leaned in and captured your lips desperately in his. You didn’t want to breathe for fear of having to break the kiss. You were afraid that if you opened your eyes there would be only air in front of you again. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. Xavier was there, perfect tears trailing straight down his cheeks. Your thumb brushed them away as you stared at him in both joy and disbelief. Of course you wanted to ask how it was possible, but questions could come later.

Xavier grabbed your hand and led you quickly to one of the cabins that still contained fully dressed beds. In a few short moments, they were the only things dressed in the room. Xavier pulled your shirt off with frantic movements as if he was afraid you would disappear. Once your skin was exposed, however, he immediately slowed. He dropped feathery kisses over your chest and stomach, paying careful attention to your bare breasts before journeying downward. You clutched at his shirt and tugged it over his head so your hands could trace the smooth planes of his muscled back and upper shoulders. Your head tipped back as he ran his tongue from your navel to the waistband of your pants. 

“Please, Xav,” you moaned, one hand sliding into his perfectly sculpted hair. His wide, baby blue eyes gazed up at you with pupils blown wide by desire. You knew your eyes must have looked the same. Your breath hitched when he slowly rolled down the tops of your pants, taking your panties with them, and he placed sweet kisses down the entire length of your leg. Occasionally, he flicked his tongue across the skin before moving further down. He removed your shoes and socks so he could follow with the rest of your clothes, repeating the trail with his lips as he had on the precious leg. “Xavier…”

“I know, baby. Don’t worry--I’m going to take care of you.” Xavier stood up again to press another kiss to your lips. You followed when he attempted to pull back, not entirely ready for it to end. He chuckled against your lips and teased his tongue along your cupid’s bow. You were all too happy to allow him entry, and you groaned when you could finally taste him on your tongue again. He walked you back to one of the beds until you were forced to sit on the end. He kissed his way back up from your ankles to your lips, and you quivered beneath him.

Xavier was already throbbing in his shorts, and he tipped his head back with a groan when you began to palm him. His breath ghosted over your cheek as he looked down at you, seeming to take in every feature of your face.

“You are so beautiful, and I am such a fucking idiot for not making you mine every single day.” He dove in for another kiss that drew a whimper from your throat.

“I’ve always been yours. Always have and always will.” The tender exchange left you both eager to prove yourself to the other, and your fingers hooked into his shorts to help shuck them off. The tip of his cock immediately pressed to your entrance, but Xavier held back to make sure you were ready. A few lazy rolls of his hips coated his length in your wetness and assured him that you needed no further preparation. Neither of you would last long at this rate.

The unified groan reached every corner of the cabin as Xavier sank into you, his head dropping to your chest. You stroked his hair, one hand tracing shapes over his back, and whispered loving words while he panted against your skin. If only you could have stayed like this forever. This was how it was meant to be. He began moving with languid thrusts, savoring the feel of your tight heat clenching around him with each re-entry. Xavier curved his body over your own to seek as much skin-to-skin contact as possible. 

“I’ve missed you so much. You feel so fucking good,” he panted and steadily began to increase his pace. Your legs dangled over his hips, and you ran your feet lovingly along his calves while sucking his earlobe between your teeth. He cried out softly, thrusting sharply into you in surprise, and you reciprocated his pleasured shout. The old wooden bed creaked beneath you with each thrust Xavier made deeper into you. The gentle touches of his hands along your sides and the worshipping kisses he left on the arms around his neck made you quiver around him. You were so close. The pace increased when you voiced your impending climax to your lover. His forehead was slick with sweat, and you could tell he was holding back.

“I’m so close, Xav. Come with me, please,” you begged, arching your back off the bed to feel his cock push farther into your warmth. He moaned loudly through his teeth, twitching inside of you from the words you spoke and the physical signs of you clenching around him sporadically. You moaned his name over and over, kissing the sensitive spot on his neck just below the cross earring he always wore. His hips rocked into yours and you angled your hips to meet his thrusts each time. A few more well-timed thrusts into your g-spot had you careening over the edge of a blissful orgasm. The clutching of your core around him as Xavier chased his own end left him shouting out his pleasure in the form of your name, and his warm seed quickly filled you.

“I love you…”

“I love you, too.”

The two of you remained that way for several minutes, too sated to want to move or lose the contact with each other. Eventually, you ended up laying on your sides to face each other. Your fingers danced along his toned arms, and he drew shapes and patterns over your hip as he held you close. Xavier explained everything to you, or as much as he could at least. You still didn’t quite understand it. All you knew was that you had been able to see the man you loved one more time and be in his arms.

“You’ll have to go soon,” he sighed. You frowned and cupped his cheek.

“What do you mean? Why?”

“We aren’t the only ones here--Me, Montana, and the guys. There are others, and I can’t let them hurt you.” 

“I don’t care, Xavier. I want to be with you.” He quickly shook his head and held your wrist to remove your hand from his cheek. You could see the pain on his beautiful face in the way he squeezed his eyes shut.

“No. No, I won’t let you die. Not here, and not because of me.” 

It seemed that time was passing all quickly, the sun beginning to set through the tall redwoods the camp was named for. Xavier hadn’t stopped touching you the entire time, with one exception, and you were grateful for it. The only time his hands weren’t on you was when he jogged over to the table to grab his picture and handed it back for you “to remember him by”. You stopped beside your car and he cupped your face in his large hands. 

“Promise me you won’t come back here.” The whisper made you shiver. You searched his eyes and tried to fight the burning in your sinuses. This truly was your final goodbye. His throat bobbed as he swallowed down his own emotions. You nodded reluctantly, and the relief from Xavier is palpable. His hold on you loosened slightly until he brought you in for one more kiss. It lasted longer than the others, your hands slipping into his hair and his thumbs removing the tears from your cheeks once more, and you take in everything he is in that moment. The warmth of his hands on you, around you, the pressure and gentle massaging motions of his lips on yours, the scent of his cologne and hair gel. Everything you would never have again and never be able to forget.

You were driving down the road before you knew it, and you stopped just outside Camp Redwood grounds. Xavier was standing just inside the sign when you leaned out the window to look back. It took everything you had to simply blow him a kiss and continue down the road towards the highway. Your only consolation was that the last words the two of you spoke to each other were the three words you had always wished you could say. 

Static came over the radio between one of the valleys, and you slammed your palm against the piece of junk. Between the mix of untuned stations and noise, you barely made out a few words:

“A child born of human and spirit will usher in the end of times.”

You groaned at the usual AM station interference and decided to turn it off until you got closer to the city. There was no room in your mind for music right now anyway. All thoughts were of Xavier and hours you had spent together. Had what the children in the cemetery said been true? Was it your remembrance of Xavier part of the reason he remained here? He seemed trapped, and that was not what you wanted, but you knew you would never be able to forget him.

At the end of July 1985, you gave birth to a beautiful blond child. He has his father’s gemstone eyes that sparkled with wonder and mischief. The angelic curls atop his head were what you knew Xavier’s looked like when eased up on the blow-dryer and products. Now there would always be a part of your lost love with you. You named the child Michael, and you loved him more than life itself.

You could not have been happier. The Day of the Dead had left you with a new reason for living.

[1-800-channie]

Guardian Angel

PAIRING | Angel Chan & Female Reader

GENRE | Cute / Angst / Suggestive

TYPE | Long Fiction

WC | 5000+ Words

SUMMARY | “After suffering more than you could handle, God sends you a heaven made gift. He sent you a Guardian Angel. His name is Christopher Bang Chan and he is the most handsome creature you have ever laid your eyes on. Will you be able to live with him everyday without any kind of second thoughts? Will Chris be able to take care of you without falling for you? Something tells me that it won’t be. But if, the both of you fall in temptation, there is a punishment that will hurt more than death.”

[Part 1] [Part 2]

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(100 Days Left)

Not everyone deserves to have someone look after them. Someone ideal who can prepare dinner after a long day of work, or someone who understands how you feel and will support you no matter what. Surely you weren't one of those people.

God always had his eye on you, especially considering you constantly prayed to him in tears, imploring him to support you in some way. You were extremely exhausted from all the crimes that occurred in your life. The cross was excessively heavy for you; your wasted body couldn't take it anymore.

It all happened on a rainy night. You were working on a recent design for a client. Your body felt all worn out from serving all night and day at the restaurant. Your eyes were burning though you couldn’t bring yourself to stop, not when the design was turning out so well.

As you looked out the sliding window, you noticed that it was raining. The chilly raindrops caused an aesthetic feeling that helped you feel inspired. The only light inside your apartment was from the laptop you were currently using. Outside however, the only source of light you saw was the stroke of lightning from the dark sky that alarmed you.

Ever since you were a young girl you had a fear of lightning. However, now that you were an adult, you couldn’t let it distract you no more, you had to continue working. You did your best to ignore the strokes of lightning outside as you continued to distract yourself for a little longer.

As your eyes carefully analysed the finished product, your mind wandered somewhere else. You remembered how you used to live in your hometown with your parents in a humble environment while working on a company of Web Design, something you studied for. The boss loved your hardworking and creative self. Therefore, when he got the chance, he gave you the main seat at the table of the company, in Seoul.

In about a month or so you moved to the massive city of Seoul. It was unusual for you, so many people and so much noise. It was recent, but after some time you became used to the weirdness. You lived in a magnificent apartment, five minutes away from work, which was thankfully paid for by the company.

Everything was going completely fine until the boss invested in the wrong company. When that company went down, the company you were working for also went down, causing your boss to be bankrupted.

That's when your world came crashing down. You lost the apartment you were staying in because it was way too overpriced for you to afford alone, and you didn't even have a place to work. To make things worse, your parents were going through a tough time back in your hometown, and you had sent them the money you had saved, leaving you with just a couple hundred dollars.

You were alone and lost in an enormous city. You had no place to sleep or work. You felt miserable and lost as you cried yourself to sleep for several days, sleeping on some cardboards that the people were throwing away.

You were tired of sleeping on the ground, on the fourth day, you summoned up some unknown energy and went to a public bathroom, where you showered and prepared yourself to find a new job.

You spent all day running around, walking from coffee shop to coffee shop. From one restaurant to another. By seven your body was exhausted. Especially because you didn't eat all day, so you sat down on the road.

Finally the answer to your prayers were heard. An elderly lady saw you miserably sitting down on the dirty ground and helped you walk inside her small restaurant. It smelled of rice cakes and kimchi and you liked it.

The eldery woman’s name was Kim Sohyun and she was eighty years old. But don’t be fooled by her age, she was fast and didn't stop moving. She always found something to do at the restaurant, even when it was as empty as a parking lot at night. Out of genuine kindness, she gave you some food and a place to stay. The apartment you stayed in was from her daughter that left Korea to go abroad and never talked to her mom again.

After that day, you took care of that adorable lady, learned how to cook and even started cleaning for her.

You smiled at the thought of the lady Kim Sohyun. As your mind came back to the present when you read the name of the person that asked you for the design, you got shy. He is a starting rapper by the name of Changbin. He had pretty brown eyes and a cute laugh that made your heart flutter.

When he told you he trusted you with his first album cover design you hugged him tightly, which caught him off guard, but he didn't mind. Not when it came to you. Changbin was around for a while before asking you to work for him. He knew your story, and you knew his.

A sudden loud bang echoed inside your silent apartment shocking you.Then suddenly everything was dark. It took you a while to recognize what happened, but as soon as you noticed that the power went off panic took over your small body.

Your computer is quite old and only works plugged to the electricity. Since the power went off, it means your computer is dead. Tears started to form at the corners of your exhausted eyes... All the work you already had done… Was gone.

The design you had been working on for days was totally gone.

You fell on your knees on the wood floor violently. Your frame curled up in a ball as you sobbed quietly, trying your best not to be too noisy and scare Lady Sohyun that is sleeping.

Now the only sounds audible from the inside were your sobs, and from the outside, the rain that started to calm down.

God, decided to reward you from being loyal and strong and sent someone to save you.

You didn't see it, but it was something so magical and special. There was an angel standing in front of you. His body was muscular and well proportioned, radiating light.

You noticed something was wrong from all the sudden brightness that escaped from between your fingers as you covered your eyes. And just like the curiosity killed the cat, you screamed so loud that you are afraid it woke half of the city.

In front of you, there was an absurd creature. His body was perfectly built, muscles visible on his pale body. His face was so magical that you were afraid that you had died and went to paradise. Golden hair, gloomy eyes, plump crimson lips, and a prominent nose. His frame was only covered by a thin cover that went from his shoulder to his waist, secured by a charming gold belt. His feet bare.

“What-what are you doing here?” You question getting off the wooden floor and taking a few steps back, startled.

“I'm your guardian angel, YN.” The creature explains, his voice low and noble. “Don’t be afraid…I'm here to take care of you.”

You stare at him with burning cheeks and uncertain eyes. Curiosity consuming you alive. You walk towards him slowly. He was so pure and bright, almost unreal. Something heaven-made.

“Can I touch you?” You ask innocently, just to make sure he is real.

“Go ahead, YN-ah.” The angels respond with a genuine smile.

Your fingertips were trembling as you caressed his cheek. The angel flinched because of your cold fingertips, scaring you for a few moments. His skin was silky and he felt genuine. His hair was also soft, but a bit dry and he smelled like nature. The scent was so different that you couldn't explain it. It prompted you with comfort.

“Oh my…” You confessed impressively. “I don’t have money to buy you food, and I don't have a place for you to sleep in… I'm sorry. I think you should go back to… hm… Heaven?” You say, confused. The beautiful angel laughs.

“YN, I don’t need to eat or sleep. I'm here to be your company, help you when you need it, take care of you.” Your mouth opens in a ‘O’ shape and you nod your head. Deep inside, you were still confused and uncertain.

“Hmmm, I think I'm going to sleep now. Could you, hm, not look at me? While I try to fall asleep?” Your cheeks were reddening again. The angel looks at you with love and accepts.

You lay down on your bed and cover your body, hiding completely. Your brain quickly tried to be reasonable and tells you that this was just a dream. Maybe you hit your head and passed out. Too scared to know the truth, you didn’t get out of the covers. As time slowly passed, you silently fell asleep.

It's cute how the next morning you wake up with your blankets almost falling off the bed and an amazing smell of eggs, toasts, and pancakes.

That's odd. Miss. Kim Sohyun never prepared your breakfast before.The weirdest thing was she didn't have these kind of ingredients. As you walked to the small kitchen, yawning and gently rubbing your sleepy eyes, there was a bare back facing you. You screamed, startled.

“Oh, good morning Y/N, did you sleep well?” The man asked, placing a glass of orange juice on the table.

“I thought it was all a dream…” You said to yourself, facing the floor, twisting your hair in annoyance.

“It’s not. I’m here to take care of you…” You stared at him, seriously. That was the first time he made your heart flutter.

After ten awkward minutes of him washing the dishes that were on the sink from yesterday, curiosity took the best of you:

“What's your name, Angel?” You asked, admiring his sturdy back. He laughed silently, then he jerked his head towards you.

“Oh right, how impolite. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Christopher Bang Chan. I’m a mixture of Korean and Australian. I was moving to Korea when the plane I was in had a problem and crashed. I died there, I was twenty years old. This is why I still look like this and not older.” The last part, he narrated to you while facing the plates he was washing, avoiding your gaze.

“I'm so sorry…” You said in a low voice.

"It 's ok love. Everything happens for a reason…” Christopher says with a tender smile. “Now” He started talking again, finishing up with the plates. “You go to take a shower, and then get ready to work, I’ll clean the kitchen.” You looked at him surprised but did as he said.

“Wait, what will you do all day?” You asked, interested.

“I'll clean your house, try to fix your computer and then pray. Don’t worry about me, ok?” You nodded again, trying to be obedient.

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( 90 Days Left)

As time went by you bought him some ‘human’ clothes, so he looked ordinary and you could walk around with him by your side. Chris, as you like to call him, looked handsome on the outfits you carefully pick him.

The truth was that his presence was now normal to you. Every time you opened your door, you greet the charming Angel, that's usually in the modern kitchen, cooking you dinner. Usually, after dinner, you washed the dishes while you obligated him to sit down and rest for a bit.

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( 80 Days Left)

After a tedious day of work, you ate a delicious dinner and went straight to the bathroom to take a warm shower. When you were done, you sat comfortably on your downy bed while Chris brushed your hair. Usually while he did it, you informed him about your day, and today was no different. As his bony fingers grazed over your scalp trying not to willingly hurt when he was brushing harder, you eagerly told him about Changbin.

“He may seem to be a bit mean at first. He always wears black clothes… his makeup is always perfectly made. I'm jealous sometimes. His voice is nice because he can make it deep and serious or high pitched and girly to piss me off.” You giggled while remembering Binnie’s jokes from that today.

“That man seems important to you…” Chris stated with a gentle smile, even though something sparkled inside him. Could he be jealous of that man for being so close to you?

“Hmmmm, not as important as you.” You say positively and then turn your body so you could confront the timid boy sitting in the middle of your bed.

Chris looked at the white blanket that was resting on his legs as he played with his fingers. Did you just say that? Is he that important to you? The Angel was biting his bottom lip nervously. His heart was racing like crazy and you could almost hear it calling your name.

You moved closer to him, enough so when you extended your arm, your soft hand would cup his cheek. Chan immediately stared at you, trying to understand what were you going to do next.

A voice in your head woke you up and made you pull your hand away, suddenly feeling shy. Maybe Chris can’t feel love for someone, maybe not the same way humans do. And you were afraid of scaring him. An uncomfortable silence involves the both of you and you sign, closing your eyes and trying to calm down the urge to cry.

The truth is he makes you feel some type of way. His eyes seem to light up and turn brighter every time he sees you. Chris would carefully listen to all your complaining or sad words. His lips would turn to an adorable pout when you were bossing him around. His hugs were warm and safe, and you felt protected on them. His laugh was so innocent and contagious and also mentioning he has such a pure heart, filled with love only. The angel made you feel special and loved… You were getting attached to it.

You didn't want to admit it to him or yourself. Maybe you were starting to feel something for him. It was wrong. You and he could never be together, because he was your guardian angel, not your lover.

“I think… I'll go to sleep.” You said after being lost on your melancolic thoughts for too long.

“Oh, hm, ok… But you seem sad. What's wrong?” Chan politely questioned while getting off the comfy bed so you could lay down. Your hands felt unsteady, your stomach was aching in an unusual way.

“Nothing you can fix.” You coldly explained, intentionally trying to push him away. You needed some time alone.

“Oh… Ok. I'll be praying in the kitchen if you require me.” Chris winks at you. “Good Night, Love.” You bite your lip to stop the tears from slipping out. That damn nickname.

You tried to sleep. You did, but your heart was beating too fast and you couldn't stop thinking about his lips. Chris's lips were so plump and inviting, they seemed so soft and plush, so kissable…

Chan peaked at you, and noticed how restless you were, he approached you:

“Y/N, let me try to help you. Please, you don’t need to talk about it. I'll just be there for you.” The Angel insists, sitting by your side on your bed.

“Ok ok… I only accept because it's hard for me to sleep, and I have work tomorrow.” You finally gave in. Chan felt grateful, this was something he wanted for a while and was too shy to ask you.

You lay down on the bed again, closing your eyes and snuggling inside the warm covers. Chris was shy, but it was worth it. Chan lays down on the bed, under the covers and gets closer to you. Uncertain. His arm rested on your waist as he pushed you a little further against his chest.

Chan wanted to cuddle you. You smiled as an adorable blush painted your cheeks. He was warmer than the heavy covers, his embrace so safe and comfortable that you never wanted him to leave.

The Angel was feeling the same, shy but happy. Your body felt so tiny between his protective arms. He desperately wished to hold you forever because, somehow, you felt like home. Chan was scared, afraid of how he was starting to feel for the charming girl he had to look after. He loves to admire the way your smile gets wider when he makes a joke; how you get mad at him when he does everything at home alone and how pretty you look without even trying.

What if he fell for you?

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( 70 Days Left)

“Chris come here…” You whined in the bathroom, your bandana was stuck in your hair and if you tried to pull it, it would most likely rip all your hair off.

The tall man came inside the bathroom in a rush, worried that something may have happened to you.

“What’s wrong, Love?” His melodious voice asked, admiring your grumpy face that reflected on the small, old mirror.

“My hair is tangled, and it hurts if I pull it. Please, help me.” You begged with puppy eyes, noticing how he changed from worried to relaxed in seconds.

The Angel walked behind you, and his slender fingers started to work on your messy hair. You could feel the warmth his body was radiating from behind you. His smell changed, because he was now using your body wash and shampoo. The smell of vanilla was amazing, you liked it in your skin, but when it came to him… It was special.

Chris was shaking, his fingers were uncertain and trembling. His breathing was uneasy and his legs felt like jelly. He could notice easily how you were biting your bottom lip, a cute pink blush on your cheeks and every time his fingers brushed against your sensitive neck, a long breath would leave your sensual lips.

The atmosphere inside the bathroom was starting to heat up, both of you not being able to control their body language and it was obvious. So obvious that both of you were crazy in love with each other.

“Done…” He said, his voice loud but shaky. Chris immediately called himself stupid for showing you that he is feeling flustered, but you just give him a soft smile and turned around, taking your bandana out of his hands and getting out of the bathroom in a rush, trying to calm yourself down.

You walked close to your window and opened it, feeling the cold breeze hitting your face and calming your heated body. Your heart was beating fastly and you were too timid to look Chris in the eyes.

The way he made you feel is not possible, you can’t feel like that. Though his eyes were so pretty, his lips were so inviting and his heart was pure gold… How could you stop yourself from feeling that way? A sudden call for your name made you come back to reality.

You walked to the front door and opened it. The kind woman that gave you a shelter was there, with a light mad expression:

“My oven is a mess, Hun, i didn't want to bother you on a Sunday but i need help with it.” She explained shaking her head in disappointment. “Could you please get downstairs and clean it?” She asked, her voice hopeful.

“Yes, i can do it. Give me just five minutes and i'll be there.” You smiled politely, she took your hands in hers and smiled, secretly, she was very grateful for you.

You got back inside the small place and called for Chris. He showed up with red eyes, like he was crying but he simply smiled at you, while making you sign with his hand for you to go help Miss Sohyun.

You did so, your heart beating fast once again, but this time because you know, something was up with the angel and you know he will never tell you what's wrong.

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( 60 Days Left)

Some days passed by and you and Chris slept in the same bed together every day. Even him, that affirmed he didn't need to sleep, would get lost in your warmth and fall asleep. Cute little snores invading the bedroom and you couldn't stop giggling, from how precious he looked.

As your eyes scanned your window you noticed that outside was dark, despite being 9 am, it was raining. The heavy raindrops were hitting your window in the most deliciously, making you feel lazy. You looked back at Chris one last time and got off the bed, ready to prepare him a surprise for the first time.

At the kitchen you heated some milk and prepared some toasts that you filled with Nutella. You also picked up some grapes, just how you know he liked it. After a couple of minutes, everything was prepared on the table. There was: a candle with no smell lighted; some white napkins; the amazing toasts with Nutella; the grapes were washed and fresh; and the chocolate was already on the milk, turning out to warm chocolate what you know he will love.

You walked back to your bedroom to find him sleeping on his back, his face turned to the left as his hands rested inside his t-shirt, making it rise and show his toned chest. Immediately you blushed but weren't able to take your eyes out of him. You blamed the covers because they were all messy at the bottom of the bed.

“Chris~” You whispered, sitting next to his body on the bed. The angel just shifted a little in his sleep and reached out for you, pulling you by your waist to lay next to him.

You were biting your lip to stop the gasp that almost escaped your lips from the sudden action. The next thing he did was cling to you, one of his legs rested on top of yours and his head moved to rest on your collar bones, giving you access to his scalp easily.

Christopher was adorable, and you couldn't deny it, especially because he was making you feel things, things you couldn't explain. Your fingers started to massage his scalp and that woke him up.

“Keep doing that…” His lips escaped, but it sounded more like a moan. You continued it for a while, feeling him get relaxed under your touch. Softly you felt his fingers make subtle touches on your stomach, making goosebumps take over your body.

“Smells so nice… Did you prepare something?” He asked getting off of you. You pouted, feeling cold without his body there to warm you.

“Oh, yes. I made breakfast! I was almost forgetting about it!” You are the first to get out of the bed, and then grab gently his hand and pull him to the kitchen.

“Woah.” He gasped. “You didn't have to. You know i don't need to eat…” Chris reminded you, laughing awkwardly.

“Oh…” You said embarrassed. “I forgot it…” You looked at the floor, your anxiety eating you alive.

Chris walked silently towards you and, with his slender fingers, pushed your chin up. Causing you face him. Your eyes found his almost immediately and you found yourself blushing because of that simple action. In his mind, he would take you right there, kiss your lips and get rid of this stupid feeling consuming him every time he was close to you.

“What you did was sweet and i appreciate it, Love.” He whispered. “I will eat some because you made them with so much care, ok?” You nodded, too embarrassed to say anything.

Chris always does this, makes you hope he would finally make a move and then, he leaves you hanging.

.

.

.

( 50 Days Left)

It all started as a good day, the sun was shining brightly outside, besides the cold wind that made your hair a mess. Chris passed out next to you when you woke up, one of his legs still tangled with yours and his nose was close to your ear, making you hear his not-so-cute snores.

You decided to get up without bothering him, you ate something that was in your fridge and wrote him a small letter telling him not to prepare lunch because you weren't going to eat at home.

At work, Changbin was talking to you, and distracting you so much that you didn't notice the new couple that got inside the restaurant. Due to that they got mad for taking so long to take their order.

Of course, the old lady you work for was mad at you, and as a punishment prohibited Bin from coming to the restaurant for one week. You apologized with teary eyes, the guilt swallowing you alive. You stayed the rest of the day hidden inside the kitchen, as the old lady worked as a waitress today.

A cup accidentally slipped from your hand and broke into million pieces as it hit the floor.

She was mad at you again, telling you that she doesn't know what's up with you today, and she couldn't understand why you were so slow today. When she decided it was time to close the restaurant, you noticed it was raining outside.

Since you live just across the street you didn't mind it, but a car passed in front of you when you were sprinting home, making the water on the road hit you and go everywhere making you soaked.

The tears in your eyes were held back by your angriness, but as soon as you saw Chris' angelic face you broke down in tears on the spot. You fell on your knees while hiding your face between your hands.

“What's wrong, my love?” The Angel asked concerned, but you were too busy sobbing to answer him. “You’re soaked, what happened?”

This time you took a glance at him, red and puffy eyes.

“It was a car. As I was waiting to cross the street he passed on the splash on the street and soaked me from head to toe.”

Chris giggled little from your choice of yours but tried to hide his smile so you wouldn't feel bad.

“Come on, let's take a hot bath to make you feel better, alright?” You nodded, tiredly getting off of your knees and walking to your cold bathroom.

Chris started to take care of the water, letting it fill the bathtub as you stripped of your wet clothes.

“When you are done washing your body tell me because I'll be there to wash your hair and give you a light massage on the scalp and shoulders… ok-” He interrupted himself because on his way out of the bathroom he caught you only in your underwear. A blush decorated your face as his curious eyes stared at you shamelessly.

“Could you… hmm… stop… staring?” You awkwardly asked, trying to cover yourself. 

“I'm sorry, you are beautiful. I couldn't contain myself.” He apologized, then shifted his gaze to his hands, too nervous to face you.

When he finally closed the door behind him you relieved a long sign. You got rid of your underwear quickly, and dived inside the warm water. As the sound of the rain outside reflected inside your small bathroom, you cried.

Your body was overwhelmed with so many emotions that you could not explain. Chris noticed your almost inaudible sobs and waited patiently until you calmed done to knock on the wooden door:

“May i come in? To wash your hair for you?” He asked in a low voice.

“Yes, you may.” You answered some minutes after, trying to calm your heartbeat down. 

He was going to be washing your hair, as you stayed naked underwater. Chris gets inside without making any noise and knees down on the floor, in front of the bathtub as you let your back hit the board and force your head back, so he could have access to it.

The angel’s hands were magical and we're making you feel much better. The way he patiently washed your hair almost made you fall asleep on the spot. After your hair was clean, you strained your back and waited for him to pour water on you, so the shampoo would get off.

Chris was feeling something inside him he didn't know he could. He wanted to touch you, feel every inch of you under his fingertips. He wanted to kiss you passionately as his hands roamed over your beautiful body.

He was only facing your back, but he felt his body heat up and something getting weirdly hard on his pants. He had to ignore it? But the moan you left as soon as his fingers came in contact with your scalp once again made him call your name:

“Y/N, please. I can't take it anymore…” You turned off the water and turned around, not caring about him being able to see your chest, that had some shampoo on them.

“Chris, i can't do this either…” You whispered, staring at him in the eyes.

Even though his body was screaming for him to look at your nude chest, he kept eye contact with you as he got closer to you. It was now or never, the perfect moment to kiss you.

Christopher’s lips were softer than you thought, and you wanted to bite them. His heart-shaped lips molded perfectly with yours and complimented them.

They were pressed up against yours on a long peck that made you frustrated. So, tired of it, you grabbed his face between your small hands and forced him stronger against your mouth. Chan seemed to get the message, and his tongue came in contact with your bottom lip, trying to deepen the kiss.

When you finally felt his tongue against yours you moaned shamelessly, to lost in the feeling to care. He felt perfect for you, he felt like he was made for you… Why did you hold back, when you could have been kissing these lovely lips every day, all day?!

Your lips parted because of the absence of oxygen, and the smile that was displayed on his lips made your heart flutter. Something inside you yelled that he may feel the same for you, from more crazy that it seems.

“I'll wait for you in the kitchen, ok Love?” The Angel suddenly asked, getting up. He was trying his hardest to avoid your chest, but it was stronger than him. Chan got a glimpse of them as he closed the door, but it was enough to make the situation even harder for him.

What both of you didn't know is that what is given, can be taken back as well. Since the both of you committed a sin, The Gifter couldn't be more sure that he had to make the angel stay away from you as soon as possible.

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A/N: Hello beautiful Stars! I know it's been a while, but I am back. Since I'm starting all over again, I decided to make a special first post. This fic was resting in my drafts all year, unfinished.

I finally finished it and I'm very happy for finally posting it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I loved to write it.

Before I go, I need to give a special thanks to @xiaojunssmile for helping me revising my work. I appreciate you a lot, you are the best. I love you ❤

Rebloggs, likes and comments are always appreciate it. Thank you.

Happy 2021. I hope your new year comes with Heath and lots of love ❤✨

[xhannahbananax03]

Back To You

Words:2.4k

Warnings: Slight gore, abandonment, fighting

MASTERLIST

Standing in the field were your husbands throat had been slit not even an hour ago, you finally dropped to your knees, landing in a mostly dried puddle of Negan's blood.

Colors from the hanging window of painted glass behind you danced on the back of your head as the wind blew the frame around slightly. The slowly setting sun leaving your shadow growing ever smaller.

Everyone else had long since went home, the saviors going back to the sanctuary or back to the hilltop, Rick and his people leaving back to their chosen homes. They left you standing there while a few men carried Negan away to live out the rest of his life in a cell, far away from you.

It was over, the war had ended. You were no longer the queen who ruled with an iron fist alongside her husband. Sure he had other wives, but you were number one. You shared a bed with him, every night. He cut down the amount of time he spent with the others and made sure to always return to you. He even let you fight.

Your tears had dried up a long time ago, leaving dirty streaks down your cheeks. You fell backwards, not caring that your head had practically bounced off the ground. You were finally alone, completely. No more faithful followers, no more hatred from your enemies, but worst of all, no more Negan.

He hadn't always been the Negan that everyone knew today, he used to be more caring. Still cocky as hell and still obviously the one in charge, but he used to be the kind of man to volunteer at animal shelters and help feed the homeless. You used to be different too. Used to do those same things along side him.

But after shit hit the fan, you were both allowed to show a darker side of yourself, a side you'd both fought so hard to hide for so long.

Memories flashed through your head of your life with him before the apocalypse, memories of an easier but somehow more dreadful time.

"Negan stop!" You squealed out, lofting one leg and covering yourself with your arms as best as you could.

You had decided to spend the day outside with him as he cleaned off his car, his baby. You could hardly blame him, it was a beautiful cherry red Mustang.

You sat on a lawn chair in your tiny bikini, tanning while admiring his firm backside whilst he bent over the hood of his car, he caught you staring and whipped around with hose, spraying you down and starting a dangerous game, one that would probably end in heated, rough, fast sex. Just how you both liked it.

"No way darlin!" He chuckled deeply, pressing his thumb against the head of the hose to spray it out.

You laughed and ran straight at him, grabbing the hose and wrestling him for it, ending up with both of you practically soaked. You giggled as you ripped it away from him and threw it on the ground.

Breathing heavily, you both let a few more chuckles slip past your lips as you stared at each other, the staring contest ending by him picking you up quickly and setting you down on the hood of his car.

You pulled him down quickly and pushed your lips against his roughly as he planted both hands firmly on either side of your hips, "Get a room!" Your elderly neighbor shouted over the fence before grumbling and walking away.

You and Negan pulled away quickly before busting out laughing, he scooped you back up and carried you into the house, to try once again and hopefully be successful.

You smiled at the memory, your smile faded slightly as you remembered the following week.

He leaned against the frame of the bathroom door as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring intently down at the small stick like test for what felt like the hundredth time this year.

He reached a hand out and rubbed your back, "This ones gonna be the one hun, I can feel it." You said with determination shining in your eyes.

You and Negan had been trying desperately for the past year and so far, every test came out negative. You went to several different doctors to see if there was any reason why it wasn't working, but so far the answer had always been the same, 'Everything seems to be normal ma'am, you just have to keep trying.'

You rolled your eyes at the thought of the several doctors voices in your head, "Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves sweetie.." he reminded gently. It was becoming increasingly obvious that your husband was becoming more and more disheartened.

"Shut up." You snapped slightly, he just chuckled and wrapped his arms around his waist, he checked his watch again and nodded his head.

"Times up sweetheart." He told you, slowly reaching his head for the test. For the past few months you had to have him look at the tests, to scared to see the small negative symbol again.

But you reached your hand out and set it on the test, "No, let me." You said firmly, closing your eyes tightly for a moment, hoping that this would be the one time it came out good.

He squeezed your wrist softly but nodded his head and waited for you to turn the test over. When you did, you felt his arms fall away from you as you slowly opened your eyes to see yet again, negative.

He stepped back slightly and sighed, rubbing at his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest and looking down to his feet. You nodded your head while staring at the test and took a deep breath to try to hold the tears back. But it was just too hard.

You threw the test onto the ground and stomped on it, crushing it into pieces. Sobs racked your body as you crumpled to the floor, Negan had tried so many times to be the tough one for you, but after seeing so many times that it didn't work, he just couldn't.

He walked out of the bathroom, leaving you on the floor to go to the kitchen and fix you each a drink. Tonight was going to be another one of those nights where you get so drunk together, you just pass out.

Squeezing your eyes shut at the memory, you tried to push it out of your head. You and Negan had gotten into a horrible fight the next night and he stormed off in a rage.

He didn't come home that night, or the next. You began to worry, but then you got world shattering news, a horrible disease had broken out across the country and probably the world.

You tried to stay put and wait for Negan to come back for you, but when he didn't show up a week later and the dead started rising, you knew you had to get out.

You packed your bag with a heavy heart and stuffed a few pictures into it along with one of Negans shirts and his favorite necklace.

You left your house and pinned a note to the front door. It read, Dearest Negan, if you're reading this, I already left. I'm heading towards Washington D.C. in hopes that someone there might know what the hell is going on. Here's to hoping we'll meet again. I love you.

-(Y/n)

You remember shedding a few tears as you left home and your beloved Husband behind, but he should've come back for you. Why didn't he come back for you?

Your sadness soon grew into an anger, your own husband had left you behind over a stupid fight! You wouldn't be surprised if he completely skipped town that very night with no regards to you.

You pushed through town after town, nearly dying multiple times. You hadn't killed more than a handful of the dead and spent most of your time holed up in shitty versions of a shelter.

At one point you'd gotten morbidly sick, part of you feared that somehow the disease had become airborne, but you kept on pushing through. You'd been on the road for maybe a year. You got to D.C. not long ago and discovered that everyone there was just about as gone as everyone else. Even the president was dead.

Since then, you've been traveling around D.C. looking for sanctuary or even a small group to gang up with. But so far nothing, granted you've been too scared to go back into the woods alone and anytime a larger group passed though you'd hide away.

Finally, you decided to test your luck in the wilderness, maybe some people have been holed up back there just waiting for you to come and find them. You'd long ago given up on the idea that Negan would ever come looking, he was a strong man but for all you'd know, he died right at the start of things.

You'd been walking for hours, hoping that maybe you'd find a small animal to take down or a clean creek to drink from, when you happened across an older building. A factory of sorts.

You staked it out for several days, watching the many people inside and hoping that maybe if you approached them right, they'd take you in.

Unfortunately, luck was not on your side. You'd been awoken by a gun in your face, "Well at this a pretty sight.." a male voice chuckled deeply, keeping the gun aimed directly at you.

You cowered back slightly, not having the strength to fight, even if you wanted to. "Get up." He growled, pulling his gun slightly away but keeping it trained on you nonetheless.

On shaky legs, you stood and used the tree that you slept on to balance yourself, "What's your name?" He barked sharply at you.

"(Y-Y/n).." you stuttered out softly, your voice rough for not having been used in months.

A sinister smirk took over his face as he lowered his gun and gently stroked your cheek and as you flinched away slightly, bumping your back into the tree, he gripped your chin roughly, "Don't try to run from me now girl.." he threatened lowly.

"Grab your shit." He said while flicking your face away, "I'm taking you upstairs to the boss man."

You whimpered softly while gathering all your things, you didn't know who this so-called "Boss man" was, but you had a feeling you didn't want to. But your only other option was to run, leaving all your things behind which would surly lead to a slow and painful death.

So you grabbed your things and started following the strange man through the woods, "Do I get to know your name?" You squeaked out, trying to keep up with his quick pace.

He didn't answer you, just kept walking and you decided to keep your mouth shut for the rest of your journey.

Once you finally reached the building, the man leading you in shouted for someone to ' hurry their ass up and open the damn gate!'

Once inside he turned to you and smirked once again, "A few things; Don't speak unless spoken to, keep your head down, and do everything your told as you're told to do it. Got that sweet cheeks?" He snarled.

You simply nodded and looked down to the ground, he ripped your bag away from you and threw it onto the ground, "Dwight, go through her things." He nodded to a man who had a gnarly scar on his face, you wondered if the boss man did that.

You followed the man into the building and down a few hallways to reach a tall door, the man knocked on the door twice and then put his hands behind his back, seemingly waiting patiently.

"Come on in!" A voice shouted from inside, a male voice which sounded very familiar, but you shook it off as wishful thinking.

The man opened the door and smirked down at you, laying a firm hand on your ass to push you inside, "Got a surprise for ya." He told who you assumed to be the boss man, who sat in a chair facing a long window with his back to you.

You kept your eyes down the man had instructed and kept your mouth shut, letting some hair fall forward and hide your features more.

"Is that so?" A deep gravelly voice spoke up. No, it couldn't be, could it?

Slowly, you raised your head up to stare at your husband with wide eyes that quickly started filling up with tears.

Once he saw who it was, his cocky demeanor dropped and he cleared his throat, "Simon, get out." He snapped slightly.

Simon only chuckled and nodded his head, leaving and shutting the door behind him. "(Y/n), darlin. Is that really you?" He said softly, standing and reaching a hand out towards your face.

"Negan?" You whispered softly, a tear falling down your cheek as you refused to break eye contact.

A smile grew over his face as he scooped you up and a sob broke out from your lips, "Fucking lord.." he chuckled softly, pulling his fingers gently through your ratty hair.

You pulled back and gripped his face tight in your hands before pulling him down to kiss him roughly.

Things just took off from there. He quickly made you his newest and final wife, to say you were shocked to find out he had other wives, was an understatement.

You were heartbroken. The worst part had been the fact that even though you were back, he kept the around and tried to spend an equal amount of time with them as he did you.

But you learned to live with it, he had made it abundantly clear that you were his favorite, his right hand woman, his equal. Unlike the other girls, you stood beside him, whereas they stood behind them.

You spent several years, up until now living with your husband. You always knew your husband wasn't the good guy in this story, but he wasn't the bad guy either.

Standing, you dusted off your knees and stared at the shards of broken glass on the ground, one of which still covered in your husbands blood.

You started back towards Alexandria, where you knew Rick would be keeping him, you didn't know how yet, but you would see him again.

[thesolitarystripe]

Tindyl’s  Departure

There was a a really rocky start of Shadowlands for Tindyl and I. We left the guild that we created for an assortment of reasons that I won’t get into but, this entry was something I wrote to both vent my feelings and to document Tindyl’s journey. All of these posts are out of order, I know. Someday, all these tidbits will add up to a big beautiful story that flows really well. Today is not that day.  As always, I do not own any rights to Blizzard Entertainment’s world, characters or original stories. I do however, claim rights to Tindyl, all related side characters and her story.

An oddly unwelcoming breeze sifted through the wide corridors of Oribos on this day; the day Archdruid Tindyl found herself sitting alone within the Ring of Transference. This new city with its tall steepled ceilings, high arching pillars, and cold stone floors never held the same homey feeling Boralus had come to bear but especially now, it felt empty, frigid. Tindyl had rested her back against one of the solid walls, knees drawn up toward her chest as heroes and champions bustled by, eager to trade with the nearest dealer. She had stopped briefly with the local alchemist and busied herself with dealings there, but it hardly held her interest once she acquired her vials. Those small crystalline containers rested in the warm palms of her hands, icy against her purple skin. What was their purpose now anyway? Dark eyes glanced downward, Tindyl’s chin dipping after them until her silver hair fell over her brow. Why had she bought so many if—

“There she is my little sapling.”

Tindyl’s brows knitted together at the unwelcomed intimacy with which she was being addressed but her head snapped upward in hearing the tone that dripped with familiarity; so much so, that her heart skipped in her chest. Deep blue, nearly black, met those chestnut eyes she had left back near the seas that soaked Boralus.

“How!” The night elf shot upright, her vials clinking against the ground as they fell from her hands. Before she could say anymore, two large arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her down and into the warm chest of the human she’d fallen in love with all those years ago. While public displays of affection were not customary in her home, it had been so long since she had been held so tenderly, she felt the staunch composure of her people melt away with eagerness. Tindyl’s arms clasped around the warrior, fingers clenching at his tunic as he pulled her against his chest. Tears bit at the corners of her eyes, but her fangs struck harder at her lower lip, fighting to keep them at bay. “Dalah,” she breathed into his chest.

“What’s a pretty moon child like you doing sitting here all alone on the floor?” He whispered into the tendrils of her hair, lips tickling the hard ridge of her ear. Their embrace didn’t loosen. The energy between them simmered violently, a desperate need to keep the physical contact emanating from the archdruid who, despite her height, practically hung against the human male’s body. “Come, I feel we have much to talk about.” His lips found the crown of her head, pressing a single kiss there before he took her by the arms and reluctantly pushed her from him. Their eyes met and lingered, as if they were two souls meeting again in the afterlife.

The warrior took one of Tindyl’s hands and placed it upon his bicep—escorting her out of the main hub and outside where the clouds swirled pleasantly and the wind constantly blew. They walked around the outer path of the ring until a quiet place, undisturbed by others, was found. The two of them sat near the edge and let their feet dangle downward into the ethers.

“I know you didn’t miss me that much,” he finally broke the silence, leaning over from where he sat to wipe a rebellious tear from Tindyl’s cheek. “What has you so distraught my love? Why are you hunkered down in Oribos all alone? I half expected to see you and Kagurah haggling with the vendors over the price of your precious herbs.”

“You have a lot of questions for a man that said he wasn’t ready for the next mission.” Tindyl clasped her hands together in her lap, looking sternly at her lover who questioned her so adamantly.

“I know,” he chuckled in that way men do when they know they’ve got explaining to do. “I wasn’t ready Tindyl. After all we had seen, the fight with N’Zoth—” His words trailed off as his mind wandered to those darker times. “It was true that I wasn’t ready to embark on this quest so quickly but, I suppose you could say that being away from you drove me madder than those insidious whispers still plaguing my mind.” He flashed one of those charming smiles that he knew had a strong chance of getting him out of trouble. Tindyl rolled her eyes, outwardly miffed still but reached across the distance between them and grabbed her lover’s hand.

“Still fluent in your tawdry flirtations,” she mused firmly, a smile threatening to show itself.

“Cheesy as ever but, you’ve learned to love it,” he winked at her, fingers giving hers a few small squeezes.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said finally, her voice tight as that persistent lump found its way into her throat again.

“What’s going on?”

“Where do I even begin…” Tindyl looked out into the horizon, watching as the pinks and blues of the sky mingled and shaded it a soft purple hue.

“Start from the moment I last saw you,” he cooed, leaning back onto his elbow and pressing her hand into the middle of his chest. And so she told the story of her travel to Oribos—of her journey through the Shadowlands and entreating all the Covenants. The warrior interrupted her, “Ah yes, let me guess, you sided with the Night Fae, I knew it the moment I landed there.” Tindyl pushed him in the chest, glaring at him but smiling just the same.

“Did you want to hear the story or not, Beans.”

“Always,” he pried her hand from his chest and kissed the tips of her fingers.

When her tale was finished—she had recounted all she had done for the Night Fae and people of Ardenweald. There was no easy way to discuss the more personal goings on and she faltered many times to continue. Sensing her hesitance, the warrior kneaded the back of Tindyl’s hand with his thumb, looking up at her and providing an encouraging smile.

“I left the guild.”

“What?” Beans sat upright quickly, “but you love—”

“I had to leave.” It was here her stony countenance failed her. She wept freely, silently as he held her hand. “I couldn’t manage anymore, Beans.” Tindyl looked to her lover for the reassurance that she had made the right choice. She had spent most of her time since coming to the Shadowlands doubting herself and her ability to lead.

“What do you mean? You’re a wonderful leader, strong, firm, resilient—”

“I am certainly none of those things, even you said yourself, I’m but a sapling.”

Silence fell between them. Tindyl’s gaze rested still on the clouds that ebbed and flowed, twisting around each other and nuzzling into the full pillowy edges of one another. Beans released the night elf’s hand and took up her chin instead; he turned her eyes toward his and regarded her sharply.

“Young as you may be for your kind, you are more powerful than you know. I have served in the Alliance forces for many years, more than I care to recount, and never—of all the generals I’ve seen, have I seen troops rally behind someone like they do around you.”

A sharp breath burst forth from Tindyl, her sorrow desperate to be set free. The gust brought a harsh sob out from her lungs as she pressed her chin down into Beans’ hand until his palm slid up to hold her cheek. Her shoulders shook with the weight of her cries that feel from her with ease as her lover’s comforting presence allowed her the space to feel. She no longer had to uphold the unbothered façade of the guild leader any longer.

“Oh, my little moon beam.” The warrior pushed himself back from the edge of the ring, grabbed the back of Tindyl’s neck and pulled her toward him until his other arm could wrap around her torso and bring her into his body. Despite their size difference, their bodies fit together with ease, his legs set wide so that Tindyl could lay between them with her head cradled in the curve of his neck and shoulder. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he sighed regretfully. “I should have been.” Tindyl’s soft cries were all that echoed around them now, the wind lifting them high into the air and carrying their burden away from her. Beans held his beloved until her body stilled and her breath evened; his fingers played in her hair, stroking the length of it and admiring the leaves that adorned her head. As far as they were from Azeroth, she still smelled of the forest, earthy and clean. Beans hugged her tightly and breathed in her scent before letting a long breath flow from his lungs.

“What now,” she finally whispered, voice raspy from her tears.

Beans looked out at the horizon, his hand cradling Tindyl’s head while his other arm held her in close.

“We do what we’ve always done,” he tilted the night elf’s head back so that he might capture her gaze once more. “We save the world together, just us—if that’s how you wish it to be.” Beans kissed her forehead, lingering for several moments before releasing her. “We conquer the Shadowlands together and I’ll work on my personal side mission.”

“Side mission?” Tindyl sat up, drying her eyes with the edge of her tabard, still displaying Teldrassil in all its ivory glory.

“To make sure you realize your worth and how important you are to this realm. You may think your guild doesn’t need you—but many others do, including me.”

Tindyl looked upon the face of her lover incredulously. Sometimes it baffled her that he was a human when in so many ways he seemed much farther along in maturity than she. How was it that she had such tremendous luck that day they bumped into one another in Boralus. Beans stared at her then, smiling in that inviting way that always managed to draw her in, even when she wanted to be cross with him.

“I love you,” he cooed sweetly. He was so endearingly human with how frequently and openly he was able to express his natural feelings.

“Kene’thil surfas, my beloved.”

“Ooh, I love it when you talk Darnassian to me!” Beans leaned in and peppered Tindyl’s face and neck with kisses, leaving the night elf shrieking in delight as she pushed him away.

“Stop it! You’re such a child,” she huffed playfully.

“I mean you’re the one who is technically, what, in her twenties by human standards?”

“I’m 305 years old! You’d better watch your tongue, young babe.”

The two dissolved into laughter, quieting only when a resident of Oribos happened to walk by. They then fell into easy chatter about their future, denying then the moment to linger on heavier topics; while their time discussing guild matters was far from over, it was clear the young Kaldorei needed the reprieve in the safety of someone she loved and the warrior was more than happy to allow her that time.

[imaginesbymonika]

Broken Nose | sidemen x reader (platonic)

Prompt: it’s the anniversary of the sidemen and you reflect on your relationship with them

Warnings: fluff, angst mentioning of depression, eating disorder and childhood trauma and a broken nose

„The final person to join us on stage-.”, Will turns to Stephen, both men are dressed in suits:” She’s a really outstanding person, isn’t she.”.

“We consider her sidemen royalty.”, his friend answers, he glances at the audience:” She has nicknames such as ‘sidemen-sister’ and she grew up right in front of our eyes.”. Stephen makes a hand motion, behaving as if he’s wiping away a tear:” We were introduced to her at the age of 8, now she’s precious 18 years old.”. “Which is the legal age.”. “Legal age.”, The blonde YouTuber responds and makes a finger gun towards his friend.

Jj, who sits next to the sidemen in-front of the stage stands up and points his right index finger at them, in a playful but serious manner:” Very fragile and thin ice, boys! Very, very thin.“. Will puts his arms up in defense and takes one step back:” Just saying... just saying.”

“Now, give it up for Y/N Y/L/N!”.

While the audience cheers a young woman walks up the steps, she glows at Will and Stephen before standing behind the lectern. She lets out a sweet chuckle and leans closer to the microphone:” Legal age isn’t the equivalent to consens. Keep on dreaming, Stephen.”. Everyone in the room begins to laugh and clap, while JJ and Ethan both stand up to applaud. When the room becomes peaceful again Y/N stares at the seven men in front of her.

Y/N sighs:” Here we are, your guy’s 10th anniversary. How time flies- I couldn’t help but realize how I’m the only one here, who doesn’t have something written down beforehand.”. A few people laugh.“I began to write a speech, something poetic- but I just couldn’t. It didn’t feel right to come prepared- after all nothing in our relationship ever was. It just sincerely happened- developed over time. Like the day I met Simon and Harry shattered my nose-.”.

You perked up at the boy with the blonde hair, your face burned like crazy, and while everyone around you predicted you to sob or scream you were mute. “Oh shit!”, Simon, who stared at you uttered a profanity and ran a hand down his face:” Shit, shit, shit!”.

“I am so sorry!”, Harry, who sat down in front of you bits his lip, while eyeing your bleeding nose.“I think you broke her!”, Tobi said and took a deep breath while anxiously running a hand through his hair:” She isn’t crying... why isn’t she crying?! Her nose is fucking broken!”. “The ambulance is on their way!”, Ethan joined the group and squatted to look into your eyes:” You’ll be alright, you understand me.”.

“Why did she follow- gosh, my mom's going to straight-up slaughter me!”, Simon turned around, and your eyes follow his motions. „Dude, stop being selfish- her fucking nose is broken!“, JJ peeked at his friend with confusion in his eyes.

„Because you said - ‘Kate, stay at home.”, you explained suddenly and everyone stared at you:” That’s not my name, I told you my name is Y/N.”. “A know-it-all.”, Simon murmured. “Dude, you are a terrible babysitter.”, Josh shook his head and everyone nods their heads in agreement.

The audience laughs at your anecdote and Simon puts his hands in front of his face. “The next day, they all visited me in the hospital- possibly because Simon and Harry felt guilty, but afterward I began to be invited to help out with their videos every now and then. That’s how everything started. A broken nose hurt like hell, but I’m still happy it happened.“, you halt: “It’s so strange, I’ve watched you guys mature into these remarkable human beings- I still can’t believe that the last ten years happened. You were there for me, you’ve seen the good but also the bad and you still decided to stay.”.

“Okay, so-“, a sixteen-year-old Y/N who crouched on the floor looked up. The seven sidemen who were sitting on the couch stared at her with concern in their eyes. She took a deep, risky breath before folding her hands in her lap. “Y/N, you’re worrying us.”.

“As you guys know, I have been seeing a therapist recently- because of the shit that went on at home.”.

The boys nod. You had told them about the emotional abuse your parents had put you through, almost your full life. Ethan and Vic were the ones who had watched it first hand, both of them were equally shocked- they encouraged you to find the right therapist in the first place. “She said, I have several mental problems. Depression, trauma, and anxiety- as well as a mild eating disorder. Anorexia nervosa.”.

Without saying anything JJ got up and sat down next to you, he jerked you into a bone-crushing hug. One by one, the guys did the same- until all of them were squatting next to you on the floor.

“We will help you, no matter what. You’re our sister.”.

“I never managed to inform you, how much that meant to me.”, you tfeel how your eyes get teary:” You chose to stay, supported me- in moments when my biological family failed to provide me the emotional safety I needed...you were there and no phrases could ever properly express my gratitude.”

The seven guys, who are sitting in leather chairs in front of the stage perk up at you. Their eyes are filled with love and adoration, while JJ is the first one to crack. A few tears run down his cheeks, while Jack behind him offers him a tissue.

“Now look, I made him cry.”, you tease him, while letting out a weak laugh:” I don’t.”. You sniffle and everyone in the room laughs:” JJ, he once punched a guy for hitting on me inappropriately at a club.”, you glance into the camera and wipe away a tear while chuckling:” Don’t settle for less, ladies.”. Once again, the room laughs and a few girls cheer.

“Ethan, I don’t know if I ever told you that. But particularly you encouraged me a lot with recovering from my eating disorder.”, you look at him and his eyes widen in surprise:” I usually, don’t talk about my mental health. But you taught me, to enjoy food- or at least accept it again. To have you around, comforted me so much and I am so thankful for that!”. He lets out an unstable laugh as well and winks at you, while you can see him tearing up as well.

„I know, that I will never be eligible to pay you back for all the things you’ve done for me- but, what I can offer you are my devotion and support. I hope you know, that you will eternally have these two things.“, now a few tears are rolling down your cheek: “I may not always approve with what you seven are doing, and when I hear how you are doing some risky stunts for a video- I will proceed to shake my head and notify you how foolish you are, but at the end of the day, I’ll be the first one visiting you at the hospital. You are my seven brothers and I love you so so much.“.

You wipe the tears away: “Congratulations, guys.“. The audience cheers and you walk down the stairs, the guys stand up, and one by one you give each of them a bone-crushing hug.

You admired them.

[magicalmarauder]

Missing Piece Pt. 2

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 4k+

Summary: Part 2 to Missing Piece! Following the aftermath of the near-death experience and harsh words exchanged in a crowded ER. What will happen between Shawn, his daughter, and yourself? Will you find your way back to each other or is this the end of your unique little family before it could really even begin?

Read Part 1 here!

After watching you run out of the hospital emergency room, Shawn took a deep breath before heading to the front desk and inquiring after his daughter. Although Madi was the one admitted for shortness of breath due to a severe allergic reaction, Shawn felt as if he was the one who was unable to breathe and the only cure to that feeling would be to have his daughter in his arms once again, alive and well. Realistically, he knew that she was just fine and would make a full recovery, but his paternal instinct was on high alert at the moment and refused to stop triggering the alarm in his brain until he finally saw his daughter.

“I’m here for Madelyn Mendes,” Shawn stated to the nurse at the front desk. “I’m her father.”

The nurse nodded, taking a look at his driver’s license that he had handed over before filling out a visitor badge and giving him instructions on how to find his daughter in the crowded maze of ER beds.

Without wasting a second, Shawn sprinted through the double doors that separated the waiting room from the treatment area, following the directions given to him with bated breath, eyes scanning each bed restlessly, looking for the familiar curly locks and big, brown eyes.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” he muttered to himself, becoming increasingly more inpatient with each second that ticked by without sign of his daughter.

“Daddy?” A small voice sounded from his right. Whipping his head to the side, he let out a sigh of relief as he saw his precious little girl, looking scared and a little overwhelmed, but relatively unharmed.

“Angel,” Shawn sighed, taking two big steps and scooping his daughter up in his arms, burying his face in her neck, breathing in her scent, swearing that he was never going to let her out of his sight ever again.

He felt two little arms wrap themselves around his neck and tears land on his shirt as he listened to the soft sniffles of his four-year-old.

“Are you okay, baby?” He asked. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you, but I’m here now and I’m not leaving your side, okay? I love you so, so much. I don’t know what I would ever do without you,” he cried, pressing kisses to her forehead, cheeks, nose, basically anywhere his lips could reach.

“I love you too, daddy,” her sweet voice responded and Shawn swore it was like music to his ears. He would never tire of hearing those words from his precious little princess. A few tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes as he held her tighter to himself, allowing his heart to slow and his anxiety to recede. She was okay. She was here in his arms where she belonged and nothing was going to take her away from him. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure that no harm ever came to her ever again, whether intentionally or accidentally, such as this little incident.

“I’m okay, daddy, I promise,” Madi reassured, pulling back slightly to look in her father’s eyes and Shawn had to bite back a sob. She was so brave, his little angel. In this moment where he should have been comforting her, here she was needing to reassure him.

Shawn closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to her forehead, breathing her in one more time.

“I know, baby, I know. You just scared me is all.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, baby, no,” he protested. “It’s not your fault. Was an accident is all. We’ll just have to be careful from now on, though, hmm? No more trips to the hospital, okay?”

Madi giggled at his weak attempt at humor. “Okay, daddy, I promise to not eat any more cinnamon, okay?”

“Good,” Shawn stated firmly, tapping her lightly on the nose, bringing a small laugh out of the little girl.

“Where’s your doctor, baby?” He questioned, placing her back down on the small hospital bed. “I want to hear what he has to say.”

Madi shrugged, crawling into Shawn’s lap and resting her head against his chest, causing Shawn’s heart to nearly combust with love. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe that this amazing little girl was a part of him. She was his and he was hers, forever. And it seemed like every day his heart grew a little bit more as his love for her increased. It was moments like these where she would casually plop herself down in his lap and look at him with so much trust and admiration that he felt like his heart could just burst from the feelings it evoked within him.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, angel?” He responded, looking back down at his little girl who was gazing up at him with a small frown on her face.

“Where’s Y/N?” She asked, pout prominently in place.

Shawn flushed at the question, the events from only a few short minutes ago racing back into his mind. “Umm, I told her that it would probably be best if she left.”

Madi’s frown only deepened, not understanding why he would do such a thing. “Why?”

Shawn’s guilt only grew at that question. Truth is, now that he knew Madelyn was ok, safe and sound in his arms, he was able to think clearly once again, meaning he recognized that the way he treated you was out of line. However, with the adrenaline pumping through his body, his only instinct had been to get to Madi and ensure her safety. And in that craze of panicked paternal instincts, you had falsely been labeled as a threat and blame placed upon your shoulders.

“I was worried about you, Madi. I wasn’t thinking clearly,” Shawn stuttered out. “I knew she had been the one watching you and, in my fear, I guess I blamed her for what happened. I told her she didn’t belong here.” Shawn cringed as he admitted the truth to his daughter, the full weight of the words he had spoken to you crashing back to his consciousness. How could he have spoken to you like that? You had been nothing but perfect towards him and Madi since you had started dating. He constantly told you how their lives were missing something until you had come into the picture. And he meant it. Every word. He knew Madi saw you as a motherly figure. He definitely saw you as his future wife and mother to his children. How could he speak to you like that? You must be so devastated right now.

“Can we call her, daddy?” Madi questioned, looking up at him with shining eyes. It always amazed him how compassionate and empathetic his little girl was. She felt the pain of others in such a real way and was always so determined to help those hurting in whatever way she could. Shawn was incredibly proud and amazed at how she had gotten such admirable qualities and at such a young age too! “I don’t want her to feel bad,” Madi continued. “It wasn’t her fault.”

Shawn nodded. “I know, baby. It was an accident. It could have happened to anyone. Accidents happen. I’m just glad that you’re okay. And yes, of course, we can call her. I need to tell her I’m sorry too.”

“Yeah, you do,” Madi admonished seriously and despite the worry churning through his stomach on how you would possibly forgive him after this, he couldn’t help but smile at his daughter’s words. She was a very bold little thing and never failed to call people out when necessary, especially her father.

Pressing another quick kiss to Madi’s forehead, Shawn grabbed his phone out of his back pocket and dialed the familiar number, foot tapping anxiously against the floor as he waited with bated breath for the love of his life to pick up. “C’mon, sweetheart, answer the phone,” he murmured to himself as he listened to the other line ring and ring before finally going to voicemail.

Shawn sighed, hanging up, not totally surprised that you didn’t pick up. You had only just left the ER after all and he knew how strict you were about texting and driving. You were probably still in the car, on the way home. Or at least he could only hope. He groaned internally as he again recalled the words he had spoken to you. “Leave.” “She’s not your daughter.” “I don’t want to see you right now.”

“I really messed up,” Shawn moaned, head falling down in guilt and fear. He couldn’t lose you. He just couldn’t.

***

After receiving the final medical clearance from the doctor and going through the entire discharge process, Shawn pulled up to your shared home a few hours later, a pit forming in his stomach as he saw that your car was nowhere to be seen. The last bit of hope he had been holding onto quickly left as he realized you truly weren’t there. He had of course sent you multiple calls and texts following that first call, apologizing profusely, begging you to call him back, and letting you know that Madi was okay. But nothing yet. Not even a text. At this point, he just wanted to know that you were okay. You had sold your apartment months ago when you had moved in with him and Madi and the nearest relative of yours was hours away. If you weren’t at home, where could you be? As he had learned today, he was prone to panic and overreaction, so his mind immediately went to the worst possible place, imagining your car overturned in a ditch or you alone, overrun by a group of dangerous men.

Unbuckling Madi from her car seat, he wrapped her in his arms and sprinted up the walkway and through the front door, calling your name, holding onto one last shred of hope that you would be there. But nothing. No response. He saw the plates set out on the table, the beginning of this entire disastrous situation on full display. He saw your bedroom, completely untouched. All of your things were still neatly stacked in your closet, which relieved his anxiety slightly. At least you hadn’t packed up and left him. Or at least, if you had, you hadn’t taken your things with you.

Setting Madi down in her play room, Shawn whipped out his phone again, this time calling everyone you knew. Friends. Family. Anyone who could have possibly heard from you. However, he didn’t have any luck. Everyone he talked to hadn’t heard from you all day, which only made him more fearful. Where could you possibly be?

Overcome with worry, Shawn finally calls one last number, waiting as the line rings before the familiar voice finally picks up.

“Mom?” He asks. “Can you watch Madi for a while? There’s an emergency.”

***

Groaning, you placed your arm firmly over your eyes to block the sun peeking through the curtains. Your head was pounding from both lack of sleep and the seemingly endless amount of tears that you had shed last night.

After running out of the ER, you knew you couldn’t go back home. Shawn clearly didn’t want you there and he was probably right in assuming that Madi wouldn’t want to see you either. You had nearly killed her after all. You hiccupped at that thought, a fresh batch of tears coming in as the events of the previous day replayed in your mind once again. Reaching toward the side table near the bed in the hotel room you had purchased for the night, you grabbed a fresh tissue, wiping your eyes and blowing your nose loudly.

Sitting up, you rubbed your sore eyes before walking into the bathroom to wash your face and make yourself somewhat presentable for the day ahead. You knew before anything you had to go to Shawn’s and get your stuff. In the haste to get to the ER and obviously not anticipating such a big blowout between you and your boyfriend, all of your things were currently at the house, including your phone charger. Sighing, you tossed your phone on the bed, realizing it was dead and probably had been for quite some time now. Shawn would usually get after you about keeping your phone battery charged in case of emergencies and he needed to contact you or vice versa. However, you weren’t too worried about that right now, doubting that Shawn would want to talk to you anytime soon. The things he said had been extremely hurtful. Yes, you understood that it was a high-stress situation and his daughter’s safety had been at risk, but you didn’t think you deserved to be spoken to in such a way. The worst part was not knowing if he had meant what he said or not. Were those things he had yelled in the heat of the moment, or was that really how he felt? Did he really not see you as a part of his family despite what he had always seemed to imply regarding your role in their lives?

You shook your head as if to clear it. If you continued down that thought trail, you would be a mess of tears again soon enough.

As you finished getting ready, you tried your best to keep your mind away from the situation at hand, knowing that you would completely break down. Shawn was the love of your life. He was your entire future. At least that was what you thought up until yesterday. And Madi. You knew you weren’t her biological mother, but you had always had a special bond with her and you liked to think that she was beginning to look at you as a motherly figure. Although it hurt that Shawn had blown up and blamed you for the entire situation, what hurt the most was his adamancy that you were not Madi’s mother and never would be. As your relationship with Shawn progressed, you thought that the two of you were on the same page when it came to Madi. You would never push her into something she was not ready for, but you would love her and care for her just as any mother would care for their child. In your eyes, and you had thought in Shawn’s eyes too, she was your daughter in every sense of the word but blood.

You groaned again, tears of hurt and frustration once again leaking out of your eyes. Hastily wiping them away, you grabbed your purse and the hotel room key, preparing yourself for the difficult afternoon ahead. You didn’t quite know what to expect when you arrived at the house, but if this is what Shawn wanted, you weren’t going to force yourself on either him or Madi. You loved them both dearly and if this was what was best for the two of them, you would go along with it without a fight.

***

Pulling into the driveway, Shawn turned the ignition off and rested his head against the steering wheel in both exhaustion and worry. He had been driving around all night in search of you. As soon as his mom had arrived to watch Madi, he took off, going to every place he thought you might be, but turning up empty. He had messed up, and now he feared he had lost you forever.

Shawn stayed in the car, knowing that as soon as he went inside he would be faced with several questions from Madi and he didn’t have any answers to give her at the moment. However, after a few more minutes, his ears perked up as he heard the sound of a familiar engine. Head snapping up, he looked in the direction of the sound and sure enough, there was your car making its way down the road and stopping right behind his in the driveway. Without hesitating, Shawn ripped the car door open and sprinted over to you as you made your way out of your own car.

“Y/N!” Shawn shouted in relief, bounding up to you and wrapping you tightly in his arms. “Where have you been? I’ve been so worried about you!”

You were stiff in his arms, not expecting this reaction from your boyfriend at all. You had mentally prepared yourself for cold looks and harsh comments, not worry and bear hugs.

Feeling your reluctance to return his embrace, he pulled away from you slightly to gaze into your eyes. “What’s wrong sweetheart? Where did you go?”

“I went to a hotel,” you murmured cautiously, trying to match this Shawn up with the one you last saw ordering you to leave the ER the day before. “I didn’t think you’d want me around after yesterday.”

Shawn grabbed your chin, forcing you to keep eye contact with him. “Baby, listen to me. I am so sorry about what I said to you, I didn’t mean one word of it,” he urged, eyes boring into your own as he willed you to believe the words he was saying now and forget the hurtful, untrue ones he had said yesterday. “I allowed my fear and panic to overtake my words and actions. I was so terrified that something so horrible could have happened to Madi that I jumped down your throat unfairly. It’s not your fault, sweetheart. I know you didn’t do it on purpose and I know you were just as scared as I was, and I certainly didn’t help with that.”

You looked up at him shyly through your eyelashes, cautiously taking in his every word. “I love you, baby. So much. And so does Madi. You mean the world to the both of us and I don’t know what we’d do without you. She actually got after me for treating you the way I did,” he admitted, a brief smile gracing his perfect lips. “Deserved every bit of that toddler wrath, too. I was horrible to you,” he sighed. “Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”

He looked at you intensely, biting his lip in anticipation as he waited for your response. His anxiety grew as you remained silent, gaze now set firmly on the ground.

“Baby, look at me, please,” he begged, tears springing to his eyes as the fear of losing you skyrocketed.

Sniffling, your eyes met his once again, his heart breaking as he saw the hurt and brokenness reflected in your irises. “Did you mean what you said? That I’m not Madi’s mom and I never will be? I mean . . . I know I’m not her actual mom, obviously, but I thought you wanted me to be that motherly figure for her, and I thought we were actually getting there . . . I just -“

Shawn began shaking his head vehemently as you continued, finally interrupting you when he could no longer hear any more. “No, baby, no!” He exclaimed. “Gosh, I’m so sorry I ever said those things to you. So sorry I ever made you doubt your importance to this family! But that’s what we are, sweetheart. We’re a family. We may be a little dysfunctional, but I love it. I love us. You are the perfect mother to Madi, you are the love of my life, and you are the mother of any future children we may have. You love me so well. You love MADI so well. I can’t imagine where we would be without you. Just know that what I said yesterday did not have even the smallest ounce of truth. You’re perfect, baby. I love you and Madi loves you. You are our missing puzzle piece.”

Overcome with emotion, you broke down, tears streaming down your face as you threw yourself into Shawn’s arms, burying your face in his strong chest.

“Shhhh,” he cooed, stroking your back and pressing soft kisses to your head. “I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating. “I love you so much.”

After a couple minutes, your cries began to die down enough for you to pull away and look back up at Shawn, who also had tears streaming down his face. “I really am sorry, Shawn,” you murmured.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay, baby. It was an honest mistake. We both just need to be more careful from now, on but thank God Madi’s okay. You’re okay. We’re all okay. Alright?”

You nodded, eyes closing in contentment as Shawn pressed another sweet kiss to your forehead.

“We are okay, right?” He asked hesitantly after he pulled away, eyes searching your own.

“Yeah, we’re okay,” you smiled, fingers intertwining with his own and giving a reassuring squeeze.

“Good,” he grinned, his heart settling and feeling like all was finally well after an entire day of fear, uncertainty, and pain.

“I love you,” you murmured sweetly, blinking up at him.

A content smile made its way across his face. “I love you too, sweetheart,” he cooed, one hand coming up to cup your cheek as he brought his lips forward to meet your own in a passionate kiss.

You both pulled away after a few moments, sighing in contentment.

“Now,” he interrupted. “I think there’s someone who probably wants to see you.”

You grinned, bouncing on your toes, knowing exactly who he was talking about. Although you knew Madi was going to be fine when you left the hospital yesterday, you technically hadn’t seen her since she was still in the midst of an allergic reaction and struggling to breathe. You needed to see her and hug her in order to truly calm your fears. Luckily for you, the nosy little four-year-old had seemingly been watching your interaction from the window, because not two seconds after Shawn had said that, you heard the front door slam open followed by the sounds of excited giggles and running feet.

“Y/N!” She shouted, bounding up to you and jumping into your arms.

You squeezed her tightly, holding her to yourself and sending up a prayer of thanks that she was alive and well. You hadn’t been exaggerating when you said you saw her as a daughter. You truly loved this little girl. She had easily wormed her way into your heart and there was no going back. She had you wrapped around her little finger and always would, until the day you died.

“I missed you so much,” she sighed, tightening her grip on you as if afraid you would disappear again.

“I missed you too,” you promised, glancing over at Shawn, who had the most content look on his face as he watched the love that flowed so easily and freely between his two favorite girls.

“Thank you for saving me, mama,” Madi murmured shyly, burrowing herself further into the crook of your neck.

Eyes widening in shock, you looked up at Shawn to make sure he had heard the same thing and that you weren’t going crazy. Judging by his open mouth and wide eyes, you assumed you hadn’t made the whole thing up. Madi had actually called you mama!

You had never pressured her, but you had always secretly hoped she would one day feel comfortable enough to refer to you as her mom. It had been so long though that you had kind of given up on that thought, but now here you were!

Your hold on her tightened and you pressed a lingering kiss to her head. “I love you so much, baby, I’ll always be there for you.”

Shawn watched your interaction, fighting back tears as he was overcome by emotion. After having Madi and living as a single dad for so long, Shawn never could have imagined that anyone would fit so perfectly into his and his daughter’s lives. That was until he had met you. You had come in and surprised them both, worming your way into their hearts and filling a hole that they didn’t even realize was there. You were their missing piece and they were yours.

Shawn stepped forward and enveloped the both of you into his arms, pressing kisses to both of your faces and grinning as you both started giggling. His girls. His family.

Hope this was a satisfying end! This was my first time writing multi-part fics! Let me know what you think and if I should do more! Please send any requests you might have and leave some feedback! I love hearing what you guys have to say!

Tag List: @shawn-youth​ @claredolphinbear24 @helpmemendes @imaginesofdreams​ @shawnnyyyboiii​ @crookedly-unique-student @perfectlywrong​ @alluringshawn​ @styles-dolan​ @maaacrisss​ @lady-of-lies​ @olivia99louise @strangerliaa​ @ashwarren32​ @shawn-youth​ @cherrysruin​ @sunshine-ruins @futuremrspcy​ @curlsofshawn​ @bruhh-whateven​ @alittlebittyuniverse​ @lanallaa​ @good-vibes-and-glitter​ @shawnyslilmuffin​ @mendesficsxbombay​ @copper-boom​ @supercarricat​

[ali-kitkat]

Where Did You Sleep Last Night? Blooming Dread.

Damian rarely stayed in for the night; he preferred to patrol the city as Robin, but he’d chosen to stay in for the night and help Alfred and Gordon run comms. He was pulled from his musings by the manor’s proximity alarms going off, someone was on the grounds and checking the security feeds showed a girl.

“Marinette.” He breathed. He could hear the shakiness in his voice.

She looked as if she had walked out of one of Drake’s beloved horror films; she was bruised and battered and swaying side to side. Her right was cradled by her left and she was favoring her left leg, while attempting not to fall over. Only unbalancing herself further. She had a black eye, a cut on her cheek and a split lip. Blood had pooled at the corner of her mouth.

Her knees were exposed, showing bruises and skinned knees. One leg was torn more than the other and there was a half-circle of smaller bruises above her favored knee. The worst of her injuries was her side, her floral dress was bloody, someone had slashed her side open. She had four long lacerations bleeding severely.

He rushed from the cave to the front door. When he reached it, he hadn’t realized he swung it open so abruptly, startling Marinette and causing her to back away from him in fear, stumbling on a possibly broken leg.

“Who did this to you?” His voice was hushed, but his anger was unrestrained. She looked at him with such fear and apprehension that his breath hitched. Her swaying was worse, and he lunged forwards, catching her before she hit the ground. He wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth. He forced himself to relax.

“Habibti please.” He pleaded, voice cracking slightly and an urgency in his tone.

“Adrien.” She mumbled; her face half buried in his shoulder as she started sobbing. His heart ached at the sound.

He gathered Marinette gently in his arms and carried her inside, whispering words of reassurance to her as her sobs had subsided into whimpers. Her body went limp and her head slipped off his shoulder. He stopped in his tracks, frozen in fear. He let out a sigh of relief when he felt her labored breathing. He’d always been aware that Marinette was small but holding her unconscious form in his arms made him all the more aware of just how small she really was. Every instinct in him screamed to tear Agreste apart. They also demanded not to let her go.

“Master Damian, if you would please carefully place Miss Marinette on the dining room table for her wounds to be tended to? Miss Cassandra, Miss Stephanie if you would help tend to her wounds as well?” Alfred asked, causing him to look up from Marinette’s bloody face, which had scrunched up in pain from his abrupt movement. He hadn’t realized his family had returned until he saw them standing behind Alfred. Hell, he didn’t even notice he never made it back to the cave. He was standing in the middle of the hallway holding Marinette. It felt as if all the air in the room had been sucked out, everyone staring at him.

The blood that had soaked her dress was seeping through and soaking his own shirt making him realize that if he didn’t place her on the table, she wouldn’t make it and he knew he wouldn’t recover from that.

Marinette let out a small noise of objection as he gently set her down on the table. He sighed as he pried her hands off his shirt, she didn’t want to let go, and it would’ve been cute had it not been for the circumstances of why she did it.

It was as if Marinette knew he was leaving her side and she wasn’t happy about it. When she finally let go of his shirt, he left the room, Marinette deserved her privacy.

He settled on the floor just outside the door, away from Marinette. His blood boiled as he sat there, just staring at Marinette’s blood on himself. He wanted answers and since only two people knew what happened and with Marinette unconscious, he would gladly maim Agreste to get them.

“Did she tell you what happened Baby Bird?” Dick prodded gently, interrupting his thoughts. Todd and Drake were staring at him, their expressions tight with worry.

“Agreste.” He snarled.

“Agreste,” Dick repeated in confusion, “as in Adrien Agreste?”

“That’s the guy harassing her.” Todd voiced, as Drake nodded his head in agreement. It took all his willpower not to throttle his brothers for the information he was lacking.

“What do you mean harassing her?” He demanded, rising to his feet. Marinette had never mentioned being harassed by anyone, at least not to him. He was conflicted; she clearly trusted his brothers enough to tell them about the harassment she was facing, but not him. What made him so different? “Answer me.”

“She said he was invading her personal space, not taking no for an answer, I don’t think she thought he was going to escalate.” Drake elaborated.

“I want to tear him apart just as badly as you do right now.” Todd snapped. “But you’re the one that Pixie trusts, she came to you instead of going to the police or a hospital, don’t let her wake up not knowing where you are.”

“And since did you care about Nettie?” Drake inquired, staring at him, brows raised.

He growled. “I don’t, not that it’s any of your business, Interloper.” Drake and Todd gave him a disbelieving look.

“Boys.” His father interrupted, cutting through the rising tension in the hallway. They all turned to him, expectant, the air ripe with anticipation. “Alfred and the girls are currently tending to her injuries. She has a broken leg, dislocated shoulder and four lacerations on her side. Her leg has been set and she will need a proper cast from the hospital but for now she has a split. Her shoulder has also already been realigned. They’re working on stitching her side up now.”

“I’m going to eviscerate him.”

“I’d like to claim bullshit about your previous statement, ‘I don’t’ because that was fake as fuck.” Todd snarked. He glared at his brother and lunged forward only to be intercepted by Dick. He fought the urge to elbow his brother in the ribs and let Dick drag him away rather than wait impatiently by the door.

Dick dragged him into the living room, not far from the dining room for which he was thankful and stared at him for a moment before speaking. Well, implored more than anything. “Talk to me Baby Bird. You’re wound up tighter than usual. Something is bothering you; we’re not leaving until you tell me.”

“That’s the problem. I’m unsure.” He sighed. “Drake was right, you know how much I loathe to admit that. I’ve been less than cordial with Marinette; so, why am I so ready to protect her? I didn’t even want to let her go Dick. The only reason I did was because if I hadn’t, she would have died.”

“Do you have feelings for her?” Dick questioned; he opened his mouth to refute but Dick held up a hand making him stop. “Just think about it. Do you have feelings for her? They don’t have to be big ones or anything extravagant. How do you feel about her? Because from where I stand and your words alone, it doesn’t sound as if you’ve given it much thought.”

Did he have feelings for Marinette? He wasn’t sure. He actually had to think about it, as Dick said he hadn’t given it much thought. Normally he’d reply with how much he couldn’t stand a person, about how they were stupid or annoying but with Marinette the longer he thought about her the more complex his feelings got.

He didn’t hate her; he quite liked her intelligence but that certainly didn’t mean he was in love with her either. His feelings for her were a mixed bag of explosives.

He admired her tenacity; she was a new kind of stubborn that he wasn’t used to dealing with. Kindness was something he was taught to exploit and that it was useless, that it was used to garner favors or sympathy and the such. Marinette never used it in such a way though, she was a fountain of unreasonable kindness. She baffled him.

She treated everyone kindly, no matter who they were or what they had done. Including himself, he’d been rude to her the first time they’d met, and she never let it get to her. She told him she wasn’t trying to be friends with him for his money, or family name and he only huffed in response which prompted her to glare at him in a way that rivalled Dick’s own disappointed expressions.

Though that didn’t mean she let others walk over her. He had seen her deliver tongue lashings to people who were rude, she glared at them until either they apologized or walked away. The first time he’d seen her stare at someone else, other than himself in disappointment was an interesting experience to witness.

She was truly something else entirely. She had gained his respect and that was hard to accomplish.

The first time he’d called her by her first name came to mind, her smiling face. It was one of triumph and elation, he didn’t even realize it was a memory he cherished until now.

Marinette was someone he cared about, romantically, and he hadn’t even realized that until just now.

“I care about her.” He whispered; dazed by the revelation.

Dick snorted and laughed. “That’s not really new news, though I’m glad you care about her.”

“I hate you.” He groaned. Dick gave him a droll smirk. “I—”

“You?” His brother badgered, ginning like a fool. He let out a sigh, controlling the urge to smack him.

“I don’t know, honestly.” He sighed. He’d rather not admit to him or out loud that he had romantic feelings for Marinette. “I could grow to like her.” He admitted softly after a moment. He refused to acknowledge Dick, who had started humming in a knowing falsetto.

[spaced0lphin]

Counting Stars

“Bailie is determined to count Jeff’s freckles.” - @virusq

This takes place post-TBMS, after the events of ME2 and before ME3.

The evening was blue with twilight. Humidity and the whine of cicadas spilled into the kitchen through the open patio door. Shepard was still out there, leaning on her arms and staring into the black pines. The opened letter on the table turned his stomach. An Alliance insignia showed through the envelope. In disgust, he turned it over face down. This was the thanks she got for spearheading the operation to save the known galaxy; a warning. The message was simple: Either show up in court voluntarily in a week, or be dragged there.

Joker's own eyes looked back at him, his image caught in the glass door. It felt weird, but also good to be out of Cerberus fatigues. Sometimes it seemed like his reflection looked a little wrong without them, but he remembered feeling like that after putting away his Alliance blues for the last time, too. 

A bizarre, almost musical croaking from outside caught his attention. It wasn't familiar - but Shepard, in all her stormy silence, didn't seem bothered by it. Dusk was settling fast. It was weird, this place. It was some little house on the far outskirts of the city Shepard grew up in. The warm, familiar rumble of the engine was traded in for wind in the trees, birdsong in the day, and whatever spooky noises the damn woods conjured up at night. Joker did not like the woods. Being so close to so many trees, all growing at once in strange, chaotic angles - it was unnatural. It and the nearby ocean smelled nice, though.

His Omnitool glowed, displaying the time. Two hours ago, she'd opened the mail and stormed outside. He picked up the offending letter and slid off the chair, putting the paper out of sight. This whole house in a familiar place thing was meant to be a break, a reminder for Shepard of what she was fighting for. Instead, all she'd found was this insult. He thought about hurling it in the garbage. It just wasn't fair.

The curious sound came again, this time from somewhere a little closer. Shepard hadn't moved an inch, nor noticed his approach. Not even the rap of his knuckle against the glass door, half-open to where she'd flung it a couple hours earlier could steal her focus.

He cleared his throat. "Hey," he said gently. "What was that sound just now?"

At the sound of his voice, she lifted her head as if snapped out of a spell. Her eyes were red and she sniffed. She'd been crying. A pang of guilt shot through his chest. He should have known. All this time he was sat twiddling his thumbs at the table like an idiot waiting for orders, she was out here, crying her eyes out with only the trees and mosquitoes for company. He slid the patio door closed behind him and leaned on the bannister with her.

"Uh, noise?" she asked, her voice thick. "Just now?"

"Yeah. It sounded like… uh." He screwed up his throat. "G-Ghauck," he tried. She recoiled, making such a face at the awful sound coming out of him he couldn't help but laugh. To his relief, she cracked a small smile, too. "No, no, wait, wait, hold on…" He did his best mimicry of the odd call. "Ghaaaawk. Like that."

"That's a raven," she answered, wiping at her eyes. "I think your first try was maybe a raven getting eaten by something."

"Heh. Maybe, I mean I don't know what's out there in… in that," he said, gesturing to the deep blackness in front of them. The little yellow light covered in bouncing moths could only do so much to illuminate even the first layer of branches. "It's so much worse than space," he grumbled. "At least you can see in space. Here there's things. So many things, and they all run and swim and bite, and… fly." He paused. Shepard wasn't looking at him - but up, at the sky. She tapped her Omnitool briefly, then all the lights went out.

They waited for their eyes to adjust. Stars separated out from the blueish darkness above. They looked so different beneath miles of atmosphere. Little swirling black dots blotted a couple of them out in patterns as tons of bugs did their crazy dance high above.

"You've never heard a raven before?" she asked with another sniffle, the sound a little loud in the darkness. He thought about her voice, and all the times he'd heard her be strong. In the course of everything, she’d yelled, commanded, screamed for her life, even laughed in the face of death. But never, never ever once that he knew of, had she actually cried.

"No, I guess not," he said. In the gloom, Shepard's shape started to materialise. She had her face tipped up towards the half moon, eyes closed against its light. He wondered at what she must be thinking. He couldn't imagine why she hadn't ordered a shuttle to Vancouver five minutes ago. How seeing that letter waiting for her hadn't sent her direct to HQ to scream in their faces about their ignorance and injustice. His own rage about it boiled hot in the back of his mind like the surface of a star. It didn't take much to picture himself cracking a rib telling them where to shove their trial. How dare they threaten her after everything? Where were they all this time to demand accountability now? Suddenly, he understood why she had been staring into those dark trees.

As she let out long breath after long breath through her nose, it hit him like a ton of bricks. Shepard wasn't on a shuttle right now doing those things, because Shepard had run out of fight. She had nothing left. She had given them everything already, and still they wanted more. They wanted her freedom. He knew that feeling, and in answer to it his throat grew tight.

"Hey," he said, nudging her arm gently.

She opened her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jeff. You were saying. Did you need something?"

"…C'mere." He pulled her close, tucking her head to his chest. She was silent. Her back shuddered a little, so he enclosed her in his arms as best he could. He kissed and stroked her short clipped hair. She carried the scent of vanilla, the sea breeze and everything good about the galaxy.

Shepard broke like glass. The sound of her wordless sob made his throat knot up so bad it was almost hard to swallow. Everything she went through, he was right there with her. Physically in only a few cases, but always in her helmet. Every hard decision and breath held in hesitation was a memory he shared, too. His way of dealing with it all was not to think about it most of the time. Always, he tried to focus on the next thing, and to give her someplace else to be when she was with him. But as her tears seeped through onto his skin, he knew she didn’t have that luxury anymore. He wanted to tell her it was okay, except it wasn’t okay, not at all. He didn’t dare shush her, the last thing she needed was to be told to shove it all back down inside herself.

After a little while, it felt right to sway, like when he was held once himself, a long time ago. Eventually, her halting breaths steadied, and tears slowly stopped spreading the wet patch on his shirt. He lost track of how long they stayed like that. He would have stayed the whole night like that if he could, but his left thigh trembled. Always the weaker of the two, his left had more extensive work done to the weak bones, and the muscles fatigued quicker. Just balancing on one wasn't an option.

"Mm, yanno, I didn't realise the fact I never heard a raven before would upset you so much," he whispered in her ear as he rubbed at a knot between her shoulders. She shook again, and Joker's heart sank to the pit of his stomach. But a second or so later, her quiet laughter made him sigh with relief. "Yeah… Okay. Hey, I need to get off my feet."

Her fingers curled around his as she followed him back inside. There was some long couch thing in the obscenely picturesque living room, and that would do just fine. He moved several of the fifteen cushions people always fill couches up with onto the floor and eased himself down, gingerly putting pressure on the twitching muscle. She reached over and pressed at it too. He kept waiting for her to speak, to address what just happened somehow, but kneading the muscle in silence was all she would do. 

“Been a while since you shaved your head,” he said, running his fingers through the fine growth. “You growing it out?”

She smiled and scratched his chin pleasantly through his beard. “The reason I left flight school used to have a thing for long hair,” she said quietly. “I’ve kept it shaved ever since.” 

“Oh. Right.” He took a second to admire the half-inch of rich chestnut brown. “Hey, only grow it out if you want to. Y’know, luscious vid-star locks or not, doesn’t matter to me.”

The weight of her head lay against his shoulder. “I think it’s time.”

“Because that doesn’t sound ominous.”

She smiled softly. Even red eyed, pale-faced, and her face wet with tears, Shepard was always beautiful. Dabbing at her eyes again with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, she said, “I shaved it all off the same day I left flight school. It was… kind of a statement, back then.”

“Well. Whatever statement you’re making now, I’m listening,” he said. Her green eyes flicked from point to point, studying him. “Ah heh,” he added with a grin, “That sounded a lot less serious in my head. You know something I’ve always wanted to do, though?”

“What’s that?”

“This,” he said, and traced from her forehead down her cheek, as if tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Her arms slid around him. She sniffled, then grinned wide, in that way she always did before saying something stupid. “You say you don’t mind my hairstyle choices, but I’d dump you if you shaved.”

He laughed. “Listen, I’d dump me if I shaved.” He gave her a gentle squeeze. “I don’t actually have this killer jawline, it’s all just sculpted hair. I look like a yahg under this.”

She kissed his cheek. “You know, I’d never seen you in actual sunlight before today.”

“O-kay…? You say that as if I look different?”

“No, but stark light shows details, and I noticed something I never did before,” she said as she took his arm into her lap. “You’re covered in all these light freckles. The light from the displays washes them out and I’ve only ever seen you in dim light.”

“Uh… huh,” he puzzled. “There was that time your leg was all busted up and I took you to a café.”

“Yeah, but even in the day, the Citadel looks very different from Earth. Anyways. It reminded me of something from when I was very little.” Shepard turned his hand over and began drawing ticklish little circles in his palm. “My grandmother was a pretty interesting woman, from what I remember. She used to tell me that freckles were a kind of map,” she explained, squinting down at his skin in the darkness of the room. “She said they are a star chart, and they show a snapshot of the universe where a person’s soul was born.”

Joker lay his head back. Shepard’s little piecemeal memories of her family were always interesting, but very often bittersweet. If it had been anyone else’s anecdote, he might have made some kind of crack about such a sentimental idea, but as she curled up to his side, he couldn’t bring himself to wreck it for her.

“Well, let’s think,” he said. “I got a billion of these, all over, so clearly I’m from somewhere near Sagittarius. What about you, though?” It was hard to see much, but her skin tone looked smooth as ever. “I don’t think you have very many.”

“No. Just a handful, here and there. I remember wishing for a million of them, just like she had.”

“Ugh, you’re gonna give me a cavity,” he groaned. “Little baby Bailie at like five years old asking her gramma how to grow stars on her or something. It belongs in a cartoon.”

“Hard to tell, but I think you’ve got about sixty-seven right here… I need better light.”

“You’re… counting them?”

“I am,” she said. “It could be fun.”

“You have a weird idea of fun,” he said, shaking his head. 

Her lips travelled up his arm, from his wrist to his shoulder. “Do I? I think our sensibilities might be closer than you think…” “Oh?” “I’ve been thinking.” “That usually ends in explosions somehow,” he said. She smiled softly. “I think... I want to spend these next six days finding out where you’re from.”

“How are you gonna do that by just counting ‘em?”

“Oh, Jeff. Don’t bring logic into this. Just go with it.”

“No I mean, wouldn’t you wanna cross-reference them with known star charts? I bet EDI could do that. Maybe she’d burn out a processor… Y’know, you might actually be right, that does sound kinda fun,” he said with a snicker.

“I don’t need to do that. I can use the star charts up here,” she said as she tapped her head. “See this little arrangement? Looks like the Five Sisters in the Aurean Expanse, kind of…”

“Wait, what? Really?” he asked. His forearm looked the same as it always did. Maybe there were five darker spots among them, but it was dubious at best.

“Oh, definitely,” she replied, never breaking his gaze as she kissed the spot.

“Pfft,” he said, before recognising the glint in her eye. “Oh. I mean, uh. Yeah, interesting. Y’know, with this first pass at it, maybe just take a look, and uh… mark anything you recognise? To look at. Again. Later.”

She moved fast when she needed a distraction. Her chilly fingers made him shiver in the best way as she slipped her hands up his shirt. He followed her lead and just lay back. Of all the stars to be counted, he figured he had a few lucky ones, himself.  

[casikototmblr]

Being with Michael.

Summary: Headcanon about being in a relationship with Young!Michael, a lil bit of Warlock!Michael and Outpost!Michael.

A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this! 

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Younger!Michael & Warlock!Michael.

Michael would often be the big spoon whilst cuddling, but if he was upset he’d be the little spoon.

Feeling worthless and insecure would be a reoccurring feeling for Michael.

“I’m worthless, y/n. You may as well leave me to die like the rest of the world has done.” Michael sobbed as his knees gave out beneath him, throwing him to the cold floor as his tears stained his rosy cheeks.

“Don’t say that, Michael! I’m not leaving you, I’m staying here for as long as you need me to be.” You sputtered through sniffles as you dropped to the side of Michael, now curled up in a ball before you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into an embrace.

When he’s feeling much better in himself, he can’t take his eyes off you. He makes sure to tell you he loves you, every single second of the day.

Whether it’s through him whispering a soft ‘I love you’ as you both cuddle in the security of your shared bedroom, or staring at you in pure admiration when you’re doing the simplest of tasks.

When Michael argues with Constance, Tate or Ben, he comes to you immediately.

Ranting to you about how he’s a monster and that he doesn’t deserve you or anything nice at all. Michael would often get himself so distraught, it normally ends in you comforting him the best you could.

You would play with his soft, curly blonde locks, you would spend your time reassuring him that he isn't the things he believes he is - there's good in him, but you're the only one that can see it. 

He would cry into your shirt for hours on end at times. "What they're saying is true, I'm a monster Y/N and I'll hurt you like I've hurt everyone else I've crossed paths with. J-Just leave now before I cause you any pain." He would sputter out through tears.

"No, Michael. I'm not giving up on you not now, not never. You deserve love just like everyone else." You would speak softly as you slid a couple of fingers under his chin, lifting his face out of your shirt to face you.

When he's invited to go to Hawthorne School for Exceptional Young Men, you come along with him for support. 

You would be so proud of him when he passed the 'Seven Wonders', his eyes lighting up with pride and happiness as he met your eyes in the crowded room of people. He was amounting to the great things you had told him he was destined for.

Outpost! Michael.

Your relationship with Michael matured a lot through the years. The idea of Michael being the Antichrist was a concept you couldn't come to grips with at first, cause in your eyes Michael was pure of heart and soul. 

But the information started to slowly sink in when you heard about the plans for the end of the world and how Michael was going to deliver that.

Michael did everything with your best interests in heart. He had already reserved several spots at different outposts for your family so you’d feel more relieved about your family’s confirmed survival.

He would hate it if you ever questioned his decisions or the way he ran things but he’d never reject your opinions and constructive criticism. Instead, he’d take them on board and consider them.

If Michael ever ran into a problem that he possibly couldn’t take care of himself, you would be his first port of call. Michael came to you about anything and everything, big or small - he had been doing that from the second he had known you and trusted you. 

Not only had your relationship with Michael matured over the years, but he also grew protective of you, even more so over the past months whilst living at Outpost 3. 

He would make sure that everyone in the outpost knew who you belonged to and was dating. He also let them know what the consequences were if they were rude to you or even looked at you in the wrong way. They’d be sure to pay the price.

Whenever there was a gathering downstairs, you would always be stood beside Michael. He made sure that everyone knew that you were his equal, helping to run and better the outpost alongside him. 

During the gatherings, he’d always have a whole hand or a few fingers on you; either placed on the lace of your dress that covered your back or interlocked with your small fingers, the rings of his cold against your bare hands.

If the dark markings that were placed on your neck weren’t a huge give-away to who you belonged to, then the excessive touching at the gatherings would be the cherry on top.

Sometimes Michael would go OTT with the markings, making them that dark on purpose so no amount of makeup could even dim the dark purple tone of the hickey. 

[good-rwbyaus]

Uncle Crow AU - mod lilac - [ Prologue - 2 out of 2 ] [ prev ]

Description: A month after Summer’s death, Yang is determined to look for her mother and takes a curious Ruby with her through the reputably safe forests of Patch. Meanwhile, Qrow chooses to check in first with Ozpin instead of visiting the girls first. As a result, a near miss turns into a true disaster.

But he can make this right.

He failed to save his teammate. He won’t fail her family.

Characters: Qrow, Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long, Ozpin, Taiyang

Trigger Warning: Suicide

-----------------------------------------------------------

“The surgery went well, but...” the doctor trailed off as he stared into the eyes of a worried, desperate father. His mouth flopped open and closed like a goldfish.

Ah shit. Who let the amateur in here? Qrow’s lips thinned into a line, pulling out his flask and taking a sip to stop himself from saying something acerbic. 

“But what? You said it went well,” Taiyang stood up to his full height and loomed over the other man, hands shaking, “Didn’t you say it went well?” His eyes gleamed feverishly, making the doctor gulp audibly, “There shouldn’t be anything wrong then, right?” 

“Well yeah, the surgery did. But...”

“Hey, let’s take it outside,” Qrow interrupted. “Yang’s trying to sleep.”

He’d rather have the eventual explosion happen outside rather than inside his niece’s room where she could see it all. This wasn’t going to end well; he could already see the growing storm brewing inside his friend. It’s why one doesn’t pussyfoot around Hunters. He patted his back clandestinely to make sure Harbinger was there before taking the lead to go outside, followed by two anxious men. 

The door slid open, letting the three of them into the hallway. Several doctors meandered about including a pair of senior-looking doctors that he saw with Ruby earlier. They tried to make themselves scarce. Those fuckers. No wonder the doctor in front of them seemed like a joke, probably a medical intern delivering bad news to a Hunter for the first time.

“Doctor. Just. Tell me about my daughter. Please. I need to know if she’s gonna be alright,” Taiyang spoke out, “If the surgery went well, it had to be alright, right?”

“Yeah, the surgery went alright, b-b-but...” the doctor continued on, trying to find the words. 

Qrow slammed his fist into a wall, interrupting the young doctor’s stuttering. 

“Just spit it out already,” Qrow interrupted, “You’re speaking in circles. Lemme guess, you never did grief counseling for Hunters before, and your seniors just shoved this onto you without warning. We understand. Just give us the bad news straight. And if we don’t have any questions, you can leave.”

The doctor swallowed his saliva and glanced briefly at the tense blond Hunter beside him who was staring at him with the focus of a laser. 

“I-I...” he took a deep breath, “We removed the bleeding part of her kidney and repaired her injured abdominal aorta. Even though her Aura accelerated her blood production, her injured aorta meant she couldn’t get adequate perfusion to her organs. Most of her organs are already showing signs of failure.” He stood back, seeing the blond’s fists grip tightly together. “E-e-even on a heart-lung machine, we don’t expect her to survive the week, maybe not even 48 hours. I-I...I’m sorry.”

Ruby... Qrow shut his eyes, gritting his teeth upon hearing the news. He knew it was bad, but he didn’t know it was tha-

“I...I...No. Ruby,” Taiyang opened and closed his mouth, his gaze unfocused as he repeated his words over and over. “No. No. You’re...”

“You’re lying! The surgery went well, you said!” Taiyang snapped out, face red like a bull as he made a grab for the doctor. “My kid’s going to be okay! You can’t say th-”

“Tai! Tai! Urg-” Qrow lunged forward as soon as his friend did, wrapping him in his arms from behind and taking an elbow to his gut for the trouble. “Tai!”

“No! Qrow! He’s lying!” Taiyang roared, alarming the rest of the hall as he tried to throw Qrow off of him. “She’s gonna be okay! I’m gonna make him tell the truth! She’ll be-” 

“Tai. Urg- You know he’s- telling the truth,” Qrow strained to keep his bearhug on the stronger man, even amidst the elbows and headbutts.

“No! Don’t believe him, Qrow! No! Not her too! Not her too!” His Aura started to flare; he was about to lose his grip on the man.

“Taiyang Xiao Long! If you continue on like this, I’ll be forced to pull out Harbinger. You know this!” Qrow choked out, bitter tears falling from his face. “Your daughter deserves to have her father by her side in her final moments, not rotting in a detention cell somewhere!” 

Those words made his friend completely halt his struggles. Instead, he just blankly stared at the ground and then collapsed onto his knees. Qrow moved to his friend’s front and took a knee, hands placed on the other man’s shoulders to keep him steady. 

“Tai. Just breat-”

“It’s not fair, Qrow. For Yang. For Ruby.”

Qrow inhaled sharply upon seeing his friend’s face.

Taiyang was crying.  

He’d never seen the other man cry before. Even after all the friends they lost. Even after Raven left him to be a single father without a word. He never shed a tear or indulged in self-pity. Only after Summer died and the funeral had did he see the cracks in his carefree composure, the days where he looked like a dead man walking, but he still never shed a tear. His eyes might’ve looked dead, but they held a spark - a promise to continue living for his daughters. 

He couldn’t see that spark anymore.

“I understand if it’s me, Qrow. But why do they get the short stick? They’re just kids,” the man cried into his shoulder, “They don’t deserve having their moms leave them such a young age. Don’t deserve a father who can’t keep things together. A man who can’t even protect his family.”

“Tai. Listen to m-”

“I don’t deserve them. My decisions only hurt them. I’m a horrible dad. My kids wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my mouth,” the blond blubbered out through his sobs. “Maybe if I weren’t here...”

“Tai. Shut up. Don’t speak lik-

“No. Qrow! Maybe if I were dead, they could have had a chance to live with a real father. Experience a family that’s complete and whole,” Taiyang yelled and punched the ground, a sizable crater appearing on the floor. “A family who wouldn’t bring them misery because their dad’s an utter failure!” 

The man’s words turned into incoherent blubbering as he continued on, nerves already taut and energy drained from the recent death of his wife. His tears stained both their vests damp. 

By the time Taiyang calmed down, the blond had passed out on the floor, muttering words that vaguely sounded like self-blame.  

Qrow meanwhile had to wipe the tears from his own eyes. It pained him to hear his friend like that. Pained him to hear that the small family he admired was about to shatter like a pane of glass. 

He knew very well that if Ruby didn’t survive this, it would destroy her dad completely. 

It was then Qrow noticed the security hunters lingering about, having been called in by the disturbance. He waved a hand to bring their leader over.

“Hey. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid,” Qrow asked her and her team, “I’m going to have a talk with Ozpin, alright?”

----------------------------

Beep. Beep.

Seeing such a lively child now covered with tubes and wires made him want to scream about the injustice of it all. Sure, he and Raven had gotten the short end of the stick in life, having to steal and plunder to survive as kids. But he recognized that it shouldn’t be that way. 

Kids deserved to live like kids before being thrust out into the cruel world of Remnant. Where not even a Kingdom is perfectly safe against the ravages of the Grimm and their Master. 

A truth that his niece had to learn early, a truth that she might not survive learning. The doctor’s prognosis was grim - not being able to survive 48 hours was probably an overestimate as doctors were wont to do. Ruby might not even survive the night.

Taiyang knew this too. They were experienced Hunters after all, but it was completely different when it happened to family. 

The hospital knew this too. It’s why when it came to Hunters, only indirectly related friends could bring in their weapons inside, just so they can subdue a Hunter who went crazy like Taiyang almost did. That doctor probably would’ve not survived the encounter had Taiyang got ahold of him - people who didn’t have Aura couldn’t deal with the forces that Hunters could casually exert.

“I know what you’re going to ask, Qrow,” the silver-haired man carefully watching him finally spoke. Sitting on his lap was his cane. The man looked a bit peaked, the signs of Aura overuse being apparent.

But if there was a miracle that could save Ruby, it was Ozpin. A living legend. 

“Then Oz. Can you?” 

“I can’t do what you want me to do,” Ozpin shook his head despondently, “I can’t save her.”

Qrow gritted his teeth.

“Can’t or won’t?”

The man grimaced painfully at his words.

“Can’t. It already took nearly everything I had left to help her survive the surgery.”

“Bullshit!” Qrow yelled, stomping on the floor. “You created the Maidens. Gave Raven and I the power to transform into animals. Don’t tell me you can’t save one little girl who didn’t deserve to end up in this stupid war.”

“I-”

“Oz! If you’re holding out on Tai and I, I won’t forgive you,” he growled out leaning forward, hands pressed on the table, “He’s already lost so much. Losing Ruby will kill him. He’s already going off the deep end. You know what he told him?”

“I told you I can’t hel-.”

“That he was a failure. That he was better off dead. So that his girls could liv-”

"Qrow. I swear that I’m not lying to you, “ Ozpin said determinedly. He leaned forward in his seat before sighing. “You’re grossly overestimating what remains of my power. Magic for me is not like Aura where it comes back after a period of rest.”

“It’s like taking away puzzle pieces from a whole. Magic that’s given is lost until it’s reclaimed,” the man explained, “When I created the Maidens originally, my intention was to give them superior means to fight against the Grimm, and it took nearly all my magic to forge their powers. When the Maidens lived out their lives, that power should’ve returned to me.”

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair before exhaling wistfully. “Instead, I underestimated the symbolic act of sealing my magic in a cycle, particularly the cycle of Seasons. The magic never returned to me but continued to remain in that cycle, resulting in our current situation. Four Maidens always existing with the new ones chosen by the last woman in their memory.”

“The last useful bits of magic I had left were given to you and your sister,” he sighed, suddenly looking older and tired, “What remains is just a droplet of what used to be an ocean. Useful for maybe a barrier or two but not much else,” His eyes left him and towards the small girl covered in too many tubes and lines. The machine beat unsteadily as if her heart was a flickering flame on the verge of going out. 

The room became silent once more. “You...you never explained that part to me.”

“Would it have made any difference if you knew?" Ozpin sighed, “Besides you put that spark of magic to use better than I ever could. Your sister too back when she believed in our cause.” 

An uncomfortable silence rose between them. Raven was an awkward topic on many levels. 

“So there’s nothing you can do?” Qrow switched the topic to matters more important than his wayward sister. 

“Maybe if it was before I - No. There’s nothing I can do now,” Ozpin shook his head despondently. 

“Damn it!” Qrow slammed his fist into the table, eyes red and head bowed in frustration. 

#######################################

“We would’ve named you godfather, but I always thought Uncle Qrow has such a nice ring to it, no?” a white-cloaked woman - Summer - chuckled, holding a young infant in her arms. 

“What are you talking about? Godfather Qrow sounds so stately and honora-”

“Yeah, neither of which are you,” Taiyang laughed.  

“You’re right, fuc-”

Smack. 

“Ow, Summer!?”

Qrow held the back of his head in pain, Summer’s hand hovered behind him.

“No cussing in front of my kid,” Summer frowned with a glare before gazing tenderly at the baby in her arms...   

-------------------

“Hey. That bird’s kinda weird. It’s just been watching us play outside for hours now,” a five-year old Yang remarked as she laid on the dirt tired, head extended back to stare at the crow on the fence.

“Maybe it’s friendly?” Taiyang grinned, looking at where his daughter was looking at. “Here, give him this.” The man handed his daughter something he couldn’t quite see, even with his superior bird version.

Tilting his head to the side, Qrow watched as his niece approached his small roosting spot on the fence, hand clenched around whatever his friend handed her.

“Hey, Mister Crow,” Yang toothily smiled, “These are really good. Do you want some?”

With dawning horror, Qrow watched as his niece revealed a bright red cherry tomato, and he was about to pretend to just be another bird and fly away before catching Taiyang’s lips silently moving from further away.

“This is your niece giving you your filial respects,” Taiyang mouthed threateningly, eyes mirthful, “If you hurt her by flying away, I’m going to make you cry.” 

Grudgingly he picked the tomato up from the girl’s hand with his beak and chomped on the gross sour-sweet vegetable-fruit thing. It took a colossal effort on his part to keep the disgusting thing down.

“Haha. He’s eating it!” Yang squealed happily, turning back to her dad in delight.  

But he supposed seeing the innocent laughter from his niece made the torture of his tastebuds worth it.

“Dad, he likes it! Gimme more!”

!!!!!!!

-------------------

“And and one day I’m gonna learn to fly, and maybe if I fly high enough, I’ll see Mom!” a young Ruby declared loudly to the night sky, “And I’ll bring her back to see Dad and Yang again.” 

“I’m sure you will, sis,” Yang quietly sniffed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “I’m sure.”

In front of them was their father kneeling in front of a grave covered in snow, crying bitterly while trying to assure that his deceased wife that they’ll be alright.

All the while none of them noticed an accidental spectator intruding upon their private moment. 

-------------------

A smaller grave now lied next to the taller one. A small statue of an angel was erected on top of it. White snow gently blanketed the forest.

In front of the graves was a figure covered entirely by the fallen snow, bits of blond hair sticking out from the white. He kneeled lifelessly in front of the pair of gravestones, muttering repeatedly about his failures. Yang tugged tearfully at the blond man, scared and worried, while staring at the smaller grave with guilt in her eyes.

“Dad, the funeral’s already over. You’re scaring me. You have to go home. Please. Let’s go home,” Yang begged, hands tightly gripping on her father’s arm as if he would suddenly disappear.

It’s been an hour since the funeral ended. Taiyang hasn’t moved from the spot. Hasn’t noticed his daughter started getting the reddish glow that could only be the start of frostbite. 

Having watched this gone on for long enough, he stepped forward from the treeline and transformed back to his human form, ending his silent vigil. He patted Yang gently on the head as he walked past and forcefully lifting Taiyang up by his armpit while looking at him straight in the eye.

And seeing nothing but emptiness inside. 

“You have to keep yourself together, man,” he remarked worriedly, “If not for yourself, for your daughter.”

He received no response.

-------------------

A trio of graves can now be seen on the cliffside, illuminated by the moon and stars above. A blond girl was sitting down with her hands around her knees, sobbing and mumbling.  

“I didn’t meant for any of this to happen,” Yang whispered, “I didn’t want anyone to get hurt. I just wanted to find my other mom.”

“I never meant to hurt Ruby. She’s my sister. My good younger sis who didn’t deserve what happened to her,” she continued to talk to the graves, “Is that why you left me? Because you couldn’t live knowing you had a daughter who murdered her sister?”

“I swear I didn’t mean it.”

“If I could trade my life for everyone’s, I would. So please. Please come back,” Yang begged, “I don’t mind if I disappear...as long as you all come back. Please.”

It was at that moment he found his niece, having noticed the open window in her room. 

“Yang...” he spoke, causing the girl’s head to turn towards him. 

The girl’s violet hues stared straight into his eyes.

With the same empty expression as her father after Ruby’s funeral. 

#############################

He stumbled onto the wall, his hand pressing onto his temple as a result from the vivid images he saw in his mind. Disoriented, he felt the world spin for another couple of moments before everything returned to normal. 

Him inside a ICU room with his dying niece and a worried Ozpin. 

What the hell wa-

“Qrow? Qrow? Are you alright?” Ozpin questioned concernedly, hands on his armrest and already half-way standing.

Qrow held up his hand up to indicate he was okay.  

Was that what people called a vision or just a product of an overactive imagination? Did it matter? He didn’t really believe in prophecy or fate, but he could see the events he witnessed coming to pass. Taiyang barely survived emotionally after Summer’s death - if Ruby died too, he’d probably give up entirely. And when that man decided on something, there was nothing anyone can do to stop him.

The best they could do would be to put him under twenty-four hour surveillance under a controlled environment, because a Hunter determined to kill himself will find a way. And ultimately, it would still leave their family broken - and Yang without a father - both father and daughter blaming themselves for the events of today, even though no one could’ve expected something like this to happen. 

It was inevitable.

No.

He wouldn’t let that come to pass. This was not just simply the family of a friend. This was his family. His nieces. His brother-in-arms. A mother-in-heaven who was relying on him to protect her daughters. 

He clenched his fists together. There had to be something he could do. Something.

...Something. 

He calmly looked over at the girl in the ICU bed before taking out the flask from his vest. He gave it a look before taking one long sip of the bitter, burning drink. 

“You shouldn’t drink in the hospital,” good old Oz said mostly reflexively, though both of them knew he’d do it anyway. 

He took another long swig before emptying out the flask. It might be the last he’ll have for a long while. 

“Hey, Oz. Tell it to me straight. If you didn’t give Raven and I our powers, would you’ve been able to save Ruby?”

“You shouldn’t dwell on something you can’t predi-”

“Oz. Just tell me.”

“...Maybe,” Ozpin admitted, “I can’t say with cert-” 

He held a hand up to interrupt Ozpin and then smiled.

“It’s okay,” Qrow said in relief, “I can bet on a maybe.” 

A flash of metal emerged from behind him as he drew Harbinger. His weapon’s barrel rested against the underside of his chin. 

“Qrow! What are you doing? Have you gone cra-”

“I’ve always been crazy, Oz, but I’ve always known what I’m doing. If I die, the magic you imbued into me returns to you, right? And then you can save Ruby.”

“That’s why you’re doing this?! I can’t guarantee that’ll work. And even then I only said maybe, Qrow!” Ozpin agitatedly said, having stood up. He could already see Ozpin’s panicked eyes calculating and looking for openings, measuring the distance and angles he’ll need to safely disarm him. “You’re insane.”

“Never thought I could make you lose your composure on my behalf,” Qrow said with a smile. He really found a good man to follow, “but like I said, I can bet on a maybe. I won’t let Taiyang’s family fall apart. I’m their uncle Qrow.”

“Just put down the gun, Qrow,” Ozpin said anxiously, “We can talk about other optio-”

“Oz, as much as you like to play things close to the chest, you’re a bad liar,” Qrow rebuked, “I won’t blame you if you can’t save my niece after this. I’m happy for this chance. Just... don’t tell Tai.”

“Qrow. You can’t do this. It mig-”

His finger began applying pressure to the trigger. 

In that moment, he realized where where he was. In the heart of the hospital. Inside an ICU room. With only Oz as company. His eyes gazed apologetically at his boss, his mentor, his friend.  

“Sorry for making you clean up another one of my messes.”

“Qrow!” Ozpin lunged forward. 

Bang.