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suguann · 2 months

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He’s not sure when it happened—no warning with bright neon signs to prepare him.

All of it sort of creeps up on him before he ever really has a chance to reign it in. It’s to the point where he can no longer ignore the ache in the space behind his ribcage while tucking into dark corners in another country with thoughts of you to keep him company, hoping to make it another day just to see you again—and it fucking terrifies him.

(In some ways, more than being on the receiving end of a bullet.)

He’s memorized far more than he ever expected about one person. The crinkle of your eyes with a laugh, the shape of your mouth around a lemon ice lolly. The way you bite your lip when you catch him staring.

He memorizes the things you tell him when it’s just you and him in the quiet of your flat. He knows you don’t want to be a bartender for the rest of your life. He knows you applied for university in the fall. He knows your hang-ups with relationships—he has his, too—but you’d like to settle down somewhere quiet with a family of your own someday.

(After a lot of soul-searching, he thinks he might want that, too.)

The list is endless. You like to talk, and Simon learns he doesn’t mind listening.

While you help him stuff his bags into the backseat of your tiny car, he makes the off-hand comment, “When are you going to let me get you something that won’t tip with a gust of wind?”

“If you were my boyfriend, maybe I’d let you.”

You look up at him in a way you haven’t before. Scared and hopeful. Like you’re getting ready to lay down all your cards for him to choose the best hand (probably all of them, whichever makes you his first). He’s never had anyone look at him like that.

A small part of him can’t shake the sense that it’s too soon, that your friendship is all he has during his time home, and he drunkenly sulks at the pub with Johnny one night.

Simon rolls his beer bottle—now lukewarm—between his hands. “There’s no way she likes me like that.”

“Just tell her how you feel.” Johnny slaps a hand on his shoulder. “What’s the worst that can happen? She tells you to fuck off but still wants to be friends?”

Simon wants to say, “Yes, mate, exactly that,” instead, he finds himself nervously running his hands through his hair outside your apartment door thirty minutes later. It’s only after he knocks that he realizes you might not be awake or how horrible this idea was because he’s not sure how to tell you that life before you came around, was grey utilitarian and a fridge full of take-out cartons—

“Simon?” You prop the door against your hip, sleepily blinking at him. “Is everything okay?”

His eyes trail over his old Nirvana shirt he let you borrow all those months ago and never got back, down to your cute pink painted toes curling into your entry rug, and back up to your soft doe eyes burning into him.

“Are you drunk?”

“No, I—No.”’ Not anymore. All of the pent-up anxiety from the time it took to walk from the bar to your place sobered him up, but another beer would be nice right now.

“Do you want me to call Johnny—”

Then he just comes out with it. “I’m in love with you.”

It’s not his finest moment.

He expects you to laugh it off and tell him ‘nice one’ like you usually do when he makes stupid jokes or awkwardly gives him the we’re-just-friends rundown right there in your entryway. Nothing prepares him for when you drag him into your apartment, telling him between needy, quick presses of your lips that you’ve loved him for a while now.

“I’m surprised you couldn’t tell.” You say it like he’s the last one to know, and maybe he is.

Christ, he has you pressed up your front door for all of your neighbors to see. And you love him.

You fucking love him?

It’s difficult to wrap his head around, especially when his other head steals all of the blood he needs to think straight by eagerly pressing against his zip, or maybe he’s still a little more drunk than he thought.

Simon never thought he’d get to find out how you taste or how you look sprawled out underneath him with your soft thighs pressed against his chest and your eyes knocked back as he slowly splits you open, carving a piece of himself there—your wet, tight cunt making his jaw fall slack.

His cock jerks at the sight of your pussy lips spread wide and taught around him, your little hole contracting, struggling to make him fit. No one has ever taken him all the way the first time, yet here you are, trying to hump up against him to bring him deeper—as if there’s anywhere else inside you for him to go.

“There is, there is, there is,” you gasp, trying to prove him wrong.

And when he glances up to see the cute face you make once the last inch of his cock nudges its way inside, his name dripping from the tip of your tongue like a little prayer for him to think about in great detail later, he wonders why he waited so long.

“Christ—love, fuck—you’re so pretty,” he groans, falling on top of you and pinning you to the bed, fingers pressing into your cheeks to make you look at him, to make you understand. “This is mine now.”

(Not that you argue with him.)

It’s what comes after that’s his favorite part, your head on his chest, his fingers in your hair, leaving slow kisses against your temple while you whisper sweet nothings into his throat—I love you, too; I don’t think I said it, but I want you to hear it—maybe the right words won’t be so hard to find in the morning when he sees you laying there beside him.

I know I posted this a few days ago, but I took it down because I wanted to add to it:3

#simon riley smut #simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #cod smut #cod fic #cod imagine #cod x reader #ghost x you #ghost x reader #ghost imagine #ghost smut #mw2 x reader #mw2 smut #mw2 imagine #.things i write

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alphaketoglutaricacid · 2 months

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shuro notes

upon rereading some of dungeon meshi, I got a better grasp on his role in the story and why hes in the main supporting cast along w kabru (main protag of the suporting cast), namari, and mithrun (main antag of the supp cast) . Contrary to most of the characters disliking eating monsters, he seems to dislike eating, period. In his first appearance he refuses to eat maizurus cooking (with maybe some mermaid eggs sprinkled in..?). His refusal to eat ties into his extreme passivity. He seems to dislike how his father does what he pleases with no regard to how it affects others, and his fear of doing the same seems to play a huge role in how he lets other ppl walk all over him. He ignores his own desires, including his own hunger, because consuming means taking another life. To live means something else has to die, so to desire is to want to take from others. To try to live up to the image of an impassive leader he tries to not participate in this process at all! But bc hes a human being he has to eat, so instead of never taking from others, he starves.

With Falin, I think he realizes there is a way forward where he could be himself and face the ugly realities of what it means to want. To be unabashedly yourself while not hurting everyone in your life. His love comes from a deep place of admiration! I think part of the reason why he's so dead set on saving her is bc he wants to be her equal—she saved him from his nightmares without a second thought, and part of it is to repay her kindness and to be able to reciprocate it. I think he foils nicely w marcille bc he proposes to her (asks her to choose her future) while marcille doesnt want her to move on from the time they were both children. I think this plays a huge part in why marcille hates him, bc its a reminder of how the time will pass and also he aims to take falin away from her. Interestingly, she also became fairly distant and withdrawn after falin left and they both formed their relationship w her bc dirt and bugs r cool. They both are the party members in Laios squad that fly off the handle the most. Socioeconomically, they both seem to be in the least dire straits and kinda prissy abt things as a result. On re-read something else clicked into place.

After his fight w laios that starts w legit grievances and devolves into him hitting all of laios’ insecurities like a game of whack-a-mole, shuro says he’s returning to his home country and after that he would never see any of these ppl again. Even before falin got eaten, he knew he was going to have to leave the party but couldnt bring himself to tell them. The way the convo goes, it seems part of the reason why he proposed to her so suddenly is bc he wants to take a part of his time on the island back home with him—i.e. that hes not ready to say goodbye. That the prospect was taken from him so suddenly is why this is the first thing hes asked for or wanted for himself. Interesting parallels to how marcille is not ready to live the rest of her 1000 year life without her friends now, and how falins death is a catalyst that brings her fear to the surface—that for both of them, theyll live the rest of their lives never seeing the ppl they love from this island again. I think part of the reason he is so nasty to laios in particular is bc his entire worldview falls apart at laios' actions

Both desire wise and literally, Shuro is starving. And like a starving person getting his first meal in a long time, I think he gets a little greedy—when he gives Laios the bell, he says if the party somehow makes it past thistle, to ring it so they can all escape to the East--where he's headed. Likewise marcilles solution is to bring everyone with her to the 1000 year lifespan. Thats surprisingly childish of both of them! Also not a solution to the problem that suits anyone but themselves. Theres so many solutions to this. He could write. He could call. He could communicate view morse code using that bell instead of attempting to blink in morse code to communicate to laios how he doesnt want to be here. Falin voice: I’ll go visit you, okay? He could set foot on the island again. Honestly. This is so embarrassing for him.

But I think it gets at a core theme of the work. Marcille, Laios, and Shuro all say their greatest desire is to save Falin, but once u get down to it, theyre pretty basic-to not be left alone, to be w monsters who u feel a kinship with, to not have to leave. Namari says she left bc of money but later on goes u must never let go of your fear. Kabru says he wants to get to know laios to prevent utaya from happening again but its much simpler-he wants to be his friend. Our base desires are petty, but they are what keep us going day to day, just like how every living being has to hunger and eat to achieve the goals they set out for.

Lets talk abt his relationship w his retainers.

Hein- theyre childhood friends that have drifted apart in adulthood. By the familiar way she talks about him when hes not around, I think she wants to be close to him again. I think the distance between them is probably intentionally imposed by Shuro bc hes afraid theyll turn out like maizuru and his father. She thinks hes unreliable in a way i think u can only rlly get when u know someone for that long. I wonder if some of that I thought wed always end up together and I want him to like me even tho I dont like him back is wanting that closeness in friendship again

Maizuru- Good god whats happening here. she loves him but also treats him like a child even tho hes a 26 year old man. I think its got fun connections to how kabrus adoptive mom treats him like a child, how marcilles not ready to see falin n herself as adults, thistles relationship w degal. Now these are all relationships where differences in lifespan come into play, but w maizuru n shuro i think u see something real banal in why these elves cant let the ppl in their lives go. She coddles him bc she loves him and tells him at the end he doesn't have to eat the dragon if he doesn't want to, but he rebukes her and says he has to eat it to accept his own failures. So like he doesn't need to be coddled he needs ppl in his life to challenge him so he can grow. And at the end he realizes it tastes good--that even tho his journey had so much conflict and in the end he failed to save falin he made friends! He grew as a person! He starts reaching out to his retainers again! He got to harrass the elf cops and give them migraines! Ties a lot into laios speech to marcille that if falin didnt die they wouldn't have met all these ppl and gotten to eat all this food.

Its wild she put that hag curse on him. Poor kid cant even take a shit in peace. Actually the fact that he couldnt even have that time for himself n grew up constantly feeling watched explains a lot. I think the fact his father nonchalently burnt it and then roasted mochi over it without giving him any explaination made him think oh this is just what everyone goes through and im the weird one for being frightened. And it takes him 20 years to find out that no, its not normal to be haunted by a ghost that chases you with a knife. Pretty apt metaphor for how rules have defined his life without him fully understanding why they're in place. I'll give it a crack tho--it seems like the time period his homelands based on the sengoku period bc its a period of heavy civil war where ppl below upsurped the ppl above them. The strict hierarchy is probably an attempt to exercise social control in an extremely precarious situation.

Also side note: kinda impressive he can do magic when he was six. Probs a combination of maizuru being a talented teacher and his own skill. The fire cast… close but no cigar. Also interesting is how the magic he casts seems more elf-y in nature vs maizurus gnomic spirit magic. I wonder if hes his partys black mage- the occupation his party is pointedly missing vs the toudens missing their white mage and kabrus party being well rounded at all points. If so thats hilarious that when the toudens lost their previous mage and everyone was panicking he was like well… im just not gonna say anything #OnBrand. I do wonder if the bell he gives laios is his own magic tho.

Also shuros mother is mad at maizuru for being shuros dads mistress but gives her her children to raise…. Lets unpack this contradiction. Incidentally my tin foil hat theory is Shuros a bastard child. maizuru n his dad have been fucking since 4ever -> one of these children is not legitiment -> probs the one w a strange distance from the rest -> whys shuro succeeding his dad so up in the air when his competitions a 14 and an 8 year old. It's not important tho.

izutsumi + inutade: the fact that he doesnt speak up is his defining moment of moral cowardice. Its tied to his passivity! Hes scared of saying or doing the wrong thing bc hes afraid of hurting others, and he does basically attempt to torch his relationship w laios like it was contaminated w anthrax. Like the first time he tries to be active it went horribly, but his involvement moves the plot forward enormously—with him kabru would not have run into Laios, izutsumi would probably not have been able to run away, he raises the stakes of the journey by indicating they probs cant return to the surface so they have to keep going. And even tho its messy, ugly, and embarassing, he can still pick up the pieces afterwards. Nothing he does is as harmful as his passivity on inutade and izutsumis situations which unequivically, he knows is wrong.

Also w all the references to buying people, I looked it up bc i was like.... like slavery...? it seems to be a reference to retainership as a social caste where people buy your services and as a result you owe the estate your service. You get paid and you have rights, but it seems like you are bound to your station, but depending on the time period japan is supposed to reference, some ppl took on these positions for the sake of social advancement. Regardless, it seems the caste system is also less rigid than stated and ppl can move amongst the positions. There doesn't seem to be an exact cultural equivelent to this, but I think the closest concept is like, being a vassal. I was like if this is slavery this narrative portrays izutsumis time w the nakamotos too ambivenlently and hien going don't you feel any gratefulness for them taking you in makes no sense. But I still think theres something pretty rotten going on here.

Allegedly, as a ninja, you ascend the ranks based on your skill. And yet izutsumi and inutade are at the bottom, and hien, the person that was born into this role, is at the top! Izutsumi and Inutade aren't even considered human in the island of wa--this distinction is given to tall-men only. Theyre both from positions where I feel like the other characters are like they should be grateful they got from one horrible situation to this one thats a system based on merit and skill, but like out of everyone, theyre in the least position of power to say no, to even appreciate what other options there are for them in the world. Like its deeply coercive and wrong. Whats up w shuros father collecting ppl like theyre trophies man. So we can see a system allegedy based on merit is not one at all. Also I feel theres undertones of japanese imperialism with izutsumi being from the equivelent of central asia and having a soul of a child stuffed into her like some kinda of science experiment. Maizurus constantly trying to "civilize" her by teaching her ettiquite such as using your chopsticks. Like the rhetoric of the elves ape pretty directly to imperialistic sentiments, it would not surprise me if theres intentional commentary about japanese imperialism in how izutsumis treated bc japans kinda known in the east for their imperialism... theyve just done it so many times like my parents were like we left our families, our culture, everything we knew behind to go to america.... but we kept our death grudge against japan tho!! #lmfao. Honestly fair. anyways i think theres intentional parallels between how izutsumi is treated as both as a child and a feral animal by maizuru and how the elves treate other races as children that need toys taken away from them. But also how fundementaly, maizurus unsuited to take care of izutsumi bc the tools she has are not suited to izutsumis needs! She has no understanding of izutsumis life. Her hag curse turns from a highly questionable child rearing tactic on shuro to outright a slave collar on izutsumi. Teaching shuro ettiquate and being able to fight gives him the tools to survive in the postion he was born in but is erasing the culture izutsumi grew up in and has been taken away from before she even knew what it meant. Bc she was treated like a circus freak she never got to choose for herself! Tho providing the basic comforts to shuro is a privilage, it's not to izutsumi bc shes never been able to choose what she wants in life. It's why shes set up as shuros narrative foil like so:

This is his pensive look btw its a consistant tic that he lookes like hes glaring when hes deep in thought. Maizurus is both these people's strange mother figure who feeds them in liu of their actual mother. She smothers shuro in love and doesn't let him face actual challenges in life while she intensely disciplines izutsumi. Shuro reacts to this by aquiessing and never making demands of his own while izutsumi constantly refuses to conform. This is probably why he doens't get her.

In the early points of the story, shuro either says leave izutsumi for dead or leave her so she can pursue her freedom. The ambiguity is intentional, because i think in this part of the story we are not supposed to have a good read on him. But it's also because because of his passivity he doesn't do shit for her! So he loses out on having any type of relationship w her even tho they were tormented by the same curse. But crucially he may have learned from this w inutade, who he explicitly aknowledges how her situation is fucked up and her worship of his father is due to an insane power imbalance even tho he has no clue how to talk to her about this. And at the very end of the manga, he gets into an eating contest with her at her prodding as equals. So maybe there's hope he can do better. But I think its important that his relationship w izutsumi is non-existent as a consequence of his passivity despite the things they have in common bc theres no excuse for it. Thier relationship probs deserves its own post.

benichidori - very funny amongst all these complicated relationships these two just straight up dont know each other n r too shy to do so. Is what I was going to say but then I realized benichidori has taken shuros place as hiens closet friend and I wonder if theres any jealousy abt that. But also she shares a lot of traits w shuro and isnt that just interesting:

but even more interesting is her comic:

this is beat for beat shuros conflict w laios.

We only care about one thing: the crushing opinion of everyone in the universe.

I didnt get this on my first read even tho laios was like hes smart but he is incredibly sharp. Hes good at making useful deductions when things dont add up. It rlly reminds u hes trained in espionage.

He keeps kabru on his toes! interesting for such a smooth talker.

He gets kabru to open up about his motivations here and how it affected him and kabru actually shares some of his own feelings on the manner when usually hes holding ppl at arms length. I think him getting a chance to recite this helps prep him to talk to the caneries where notably, hes a lot more clinical about it.

Its nice all three of these ppl can challenge each other and support each other. I think it would be funny if kabru hits em up in the future like do u wanna start some shit for old times sake

able to tell chilchuck was not a child

is afraid of marcille which tbh fantastic call

Everyone else horrified marcille just killed a man but he's like yeah #tracks.

Other things that reminded me hes basically a fixer:

Spends his screentime evading the elf cops.

Refuses to talk to the canaries even under threat of being interegated for 50 years despite threatening laios party multiple times that hes gonna tell on them. instead spends his time going tbh i've never known anything in my life. I'm stupid like that :pensive emoji:

Incredible bit of manipulation on his part-he pretends to be thinking out loud to cast doubt on the canaries judgement to appeal to the ppl in the dungeon that are not motivated by the goodness of their hearts. Reminds me of namaris relatively selfish reasons for leaving the party--needing to get paid, which is a need she was ignoring for far too long and also laios was also not paying proper attn too when namaris in dire straits, and how she says she left the party after the dragon bc she remembered to never forget your fear. That selfishness must also drive you forward. Then he uses that doubt to twist the situation to say all their information could be false so maaaybe the situation is not as dire as they claim and they have other motives (social control). And he pretends hes talking to the caneries but this is directed to everyone else. He and namari pretend to pick a fight so the leader's distracted and everyone else uses this opening to scatter, which causes enough chaos that it breaks the control the elves have. Which is wild bc shuro knows the dungeon is dangerous bc kabru told him about utaya. He also knows laios party can be dangerous w the amount of collateral they cause w the dragon. He puts a lot of ppl in danger that do not need to be even though multiple times he worries about people getting hurt. At his core, tho, I think he wants to see laios and his party again and that selfish desire trumps everything else in this moment. Namari and shuro are so ride or die TBH.

He never shares any of this when not prompted. Except notably at the end he interrupts when ppl think laios might be dead. Which as an aside I think its interesting his biggest contribution to saving falin is not thru his fighting prowess, but through the simple fact he reached out to laios. His compassions his greatest strength. Laios frestrautes him and kabru, and they both punch him and complain that theyll never understand him, but I think they dont have to. Love requires compromise—it requires eating things you really dont want to, you clash and you hurt each other, but what matters most is that you keep reaching out to one another, that you keep on trying to understand each other. Living requires you to hurt and be hurt, to give and take.

Once again stuck in the middle of an insane and ancient beef

low key funny that he remembered the last time he was here and he was like u know what.... ill just sit this one out....

If my son told me he spent the last week pissing off the elf cops, Id be like yeah thats what the nakamotos are all about TBH

Theres pretty juicy stuff abt how laios is interested in shuro because hes exotic like a monster and his own relationship with being othered by ppl and the fact that shuro is constantly referred to as a foreighner even to ppl hes known and has risked his life for for two years + how to laios monsterhood is a type of freedom while being othered is a type of dehumanization for shuro + how hes trying to show some kind of solidarity to shuro but hes microagressing him thru his attemps + how laios just is being explicitly saying the racist beliefs everyone else implicitly holds just like how mithrun says other races are inferior races which horrifies the rest of the elves but its honestly what they believe but I'm tired and need to think abt it a bit more.

Why do shuro and his party from an island primarily composed of humans and other ppl sometimes not classified as humans but have similair lifespan bc of sociopolitical reasons imitate so many interracial dynamics despite being of the same race? It's to show how marcilles wrong about how the inequality between races exists bc of lifespan differences. Her own fears due to fantastical reasons of being a half-elf and unable to relate any of her insecurities to other ppl are not exclusive to her! Tall-men - Tall-men relationships run along the same lines and have the same conflicts. All the things she fears are things that make her human, that other people have also felt.

in conclusion:

think abt the messiest person u know. Its a man

jk its marcille #feminism

#Dungeon meshi spoilers #shuro #toshiro nakamoto

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heaven4lostgirls · 2 months

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I deserve better (A.H)

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader

warning: angst, breakups, mentions of haley's death, reader is compared to haley, breakdowns, aaron has healing to do</3

summary: aaron comes home from a hard case with his decision already made, he's in for a very rude awakening when reader sees right through his bs.

word count: 1.5k

There was a loneliness in the air that felt almost palpable after your breakup with Aaron. It felt like an amalgamation of every broken promise and empty silences you both sat in, trying to grasp onto invisible strings surrounding your love. If you thought hard enough, you could almost clearly imagine what used to be his breathing when he used to lie on the now cold side of the bed. His presence haunted every empty corner of your now prodigious apartment.

You closed your eyes in the dark as your mind unwillingly drifted to the conversation with your now ex-boyfriend. The sound of the door opening to Aaron’s home made you look away from the television as you waited with bated breath and a smile to see your boyfriend, only the expression he held on his face when your gazes met was one you knew you would commit to memory. Guilt, anguish. Probably worse if you had bothered to push deeper but you knew that you couldn’t do that yourself.

“Aaron?” your voice echoes in the living room and all he can do is hesitate, you watch as his hands shake as he places his badge, gun and bag down before making his way to you, his steps purposeful yet cautious and deep down you knew that whatever he was going to say was going to change the trajectory of your relationship.

“Hey” he whispers as he sits on the opposite end of the couch which only cements your worries, maybe he’s finally decided that him and Jack didn’t need another addition to their family, maybe he’s decided he’s had enough of you. “We need to talk” he starts, and your only response is a small nod as your underlying anxiety bubbles under your skin like a festering wound.

“This- This case, it really made me realise something.” He starts and you can already feel your expression shifting from worry to confusion, he must recognise your own emotions as you do his as he continues swiftly. “The unsub mentioned you when we caught him, he knew your name” he says harshly and you look at him shocked, why hadn’t he told you any of this when you’d called him after he had wrapped up the case? “I promised myself when Haley passed away that I would never put someone I cared about in the position to be used against me” he says and your heart drops.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask out of genuine curiosity. He closes his eyes and clenches his hands into fists, “I think you know.” He croaks out and you scoff which only causes him to look at you in confusion, “You’re being selfish” you bite out and he looks alarmed at the harsh words. “You’re not even letting me choose what I want to do about my OWN safety?” you ask harshly but soft enough as to not wake Jack up.

He’s shaking his head before you can even finish your sentence, “you don’t get it!” he insists as he implores you understand what he’s saying. “you-you’ve never had to hold your d-dead wife’s body in your hands, wishing for her to come back, wishing you could tell her how much she means to you” he insists as his eyes well with tears and your heart drops at his confession.

“And I hope I never have to feel that, but Aaron you can’t keep taking your grief out on our relationship, I know it hurts, but how am I supposed to think you’re ending this for me when you’re putting Haley first even in death?” you whisper and against your own better judgement, you feel a few tears fall from your eyes.

“That-That is NOT what is happening.” He says again and you can see the frustration boiling over for him, “That’s not fair to me Aaron, you know that” you say, and you watch as confusion shifts on his features, “Wait no hold on, I didn’t mean it like that-”

“You didn’t have to. I always thought you’d meant in a constructive way for me, consistently telling me when I make Jack’s meals that it’s not the way Haley would’ve made it, when you tell me not to buy certain perfumes and body washes because it reminded you too much of Haley. But now I realise that you’ve been carrying this dead weight after her death, and it’s not fair for me to be carrying it with you. I will never replace Haley, but I do know that I deserve a lot more than being compared to her everyday just because you haven’t dealt with your grief.”

“Honey, hold on, just wait please-”

“I was going to fight for you Aaron , truly. I came into this conversation thinking of ways to help you not give up on us, but I can’t do that when the one thing pushing you is a woman I can never compete with.”

Aaron looks distraught and your heart feels simultaneously lighter and broken at the same time, His healing needed to take priority and you knew that his journey didn’t necessarily have space for you. And that was okay, at the end of the day the one thing you had always wished was to see Aaron Hotchner happy, and if that meant he had to do it without you, you would deal.

“I love you” he says, his eyes begging you to believe him, and your lips lift at his statement, as they’ve done a million times before, a force of habit. You shift closer to him and grasp his hand in yours as you place your other one on his face. His eyes close at the contact and he starts shaking his head, “Don’t- don’t do this right now. Please don’t do this Y/N.” his voice cracks.

Your lips quivers and you attempt to move your hand to smother the sob building in your chest but as your hand lifts off of his cheek his eyes are open wide, alarmed to feel you slipping away and he grasps you closer to him, looking into your eyes wildly as you look into his eyes, hoping all of your love is shining through them. “You know I have to.” You whisper and his expression is pained as he feels your hands run through his hair.

“I can’t do this without you” he confesses as he chokes on his tears, his hands grasping to your hips and arms as though you’d disappear if he looked away. “You’re going to be just fine, I promise” you say, and he shakes his head before the sobs escape him and he leans his head into your body as sobs wrack through his body. Warbled cries of “I’m sorry” flood from him and all you can do is hold him through it, hoping it brings him some form of comfort.

You console him until he tires himself out, he looks so much more peaceful when he’s asleep, his furrowed brow is smoothed out and if not for the tear tracks running down his cheeks you would never be able to know how much pain he was just in. You manoeuvre him to lay on the couch, a suitable enough pillow under his head and a soft blanket covering him. Your hand still lays outstretched in his grip, and you bite your lip as you try to let him let go.

As soon as your hand leaves his grip, he’s whimpering and grasping for some form of contact from you, you quickly snatch one of Jack’s teddy bears from the floor and you place it within his grasp, he grasps it almost immediately and holds it close to his chest. Your eyes mist over and you take a few minutes to breathe deeply and once calm, you quickly plan.

You take an old overnight bag you used to use before you started staying for weekends, such as this one. You pack the clothes you use the most and some work essentials before packing up your toiletries and everything else that can fit in your car. Everything looks so immensely empty when all your stuff is gone, with a quick little kiss to Jack’s cheek, you switch on your car, and you drive the route to your apartment.

In the silence and solace of your car, you allow yourself to break, sobs wrack through your body and your scream and cry as you make the drive to your place. You break again when you see the emptiness and coldness of your apartment, there’s none of Jack’s drawings on the fridge, none of Aarons past case files on the dining table, none of their shoes at the entrance and none of everything of what you loved and missed dearly.

Which brings you to now, in your bed, unable to look at the other side usually occupied by an Aaron sized lump. You don’t sleep, when the sun starts rising and coming through your room, you don’t move. When your alarm goes off at 7AM, you don’t move. When Aaron’s name flashes on your screen with multiple unanswered calls, you don’t move. You eventually get up to go to work and exist throughout the day.

Nobody asks you what’s wrong and you don’t divulge, you know it will take you a long time to feel okay enough to even see Aaron again but for now, you can mourn and think of what could have been as you learn how to live without half of yourself.

#juliwrites #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds angst #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch #aaron hotch hotchner #hotch x reader #hotch angst

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lightwise · 4 months

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They Don’t Know: Where Our Characters Are at Going into TBB Season 3

Something I want us all to remember, partly in response to the leaked scene for TBB, and partly something I’ve been thinking about:

We, as the audience, know the full story (out of what they’ve chosen to show us so far) of what each of these characters has been through since season 1: Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, Echo, Omega, and Crosshair. We’ve seen them together, we’ve seen them separated into pairs, we’ve seen Omega’s times of being captured, parts of Echo’s stint with Rex, and we’ve seen Crosshair’s time and journey with the Empire.

The last time these characters all saw each other in the same space at the same time, was Kamino Lost. The end of season 1. The platform.

There is an entire season worth of character growth, experiences gained, lessons learned, and hardships endured, that each of our Batchers has gone through—that the others don’t know about.

And especially related to Crosshair—all the other Batchers know, is that he potentially did something that gained him the ire of the Empire and put him in Hemlock’s possession. And that he sent them a warning message on an old comm line that could or could not even have been him. That’s it. That’s all they know. They don’t know what he did, or what has been done to him. They don’t know about the 32 rotations (I don’t think). They don’t know about his mission with Cody. They don’t know what his thought processes have been. They don’t know he’s been tortured. They don’t know that he helped and tried to avenge a reg. They don’t know the physically and mentally weakened state he is in.

Hunter, in particular, doesn’t know what’s happened to his brother, where he is at, how he looks or how he’s feeling right now. He doesn’t know. He’s been trying to hold his family together in a changing galaxy like sand slipping through a clenched fist, and the last grains are threatening to fall through. All he knows is that every last one of his efforts to keep his family safe have ended with the opposite effect.

And Crosshair doesn’t know about Tech. He doesn’t know how badly his brothers have missed him, even if they don’t talk about it. He doesn’t know about Cid or what’s happened with her. He doesn’t know how the rest have been trying to survive this whole time. He doesn’t know the hard choices that have been made, the questions that have been pondered, the decisions that Hunter has stood between, the potential lives that had opened up for them that were brutally snatched away the second they landed on Eriadu. He doesn’t know they tried to save him, that they were (finally) coming back for him. He doesn’t know how much Omega has learned, and grown, the relationships she’s forged, the smarts she has. All he knows is that he gave his last efforts of love and care toward a family that he thinks abandoned him, one last-ditch effort to keep them safe, and it backfired. The very thing he was trying to protect Omega from is the very situation she ends up in.

He doesn’t know (Crosshair). He doesn’t know (Hunter). They don’t know.

And it will be a shock and a turning point when they finally see each other again, see how worn down and battle-weary and utterly traumatized they all are individually, how much has been lost, how much has been broken, how much things have changed in their second time period apart. And what they choose to do with the broken pieces of who they each are now, will determine how they can heal together, going forward.

We know. But they don’t, yet. Let’s give them grace as they each learn who each other is again. And hope they can give that grace to themselves and each other, as well.

#the bad batch #star wars #tbb #crosshair bad batch #crosshair #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #Hunter bad batch #tbb omega #omega bad batch #tbb tech #tech bad batch

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the-oblivious-writer · 10 months

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Let the Light in |4|

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Chapter Four: Leave That For The Adults

Summary: Tara has been driving herself crazy trying to figure out what she's feeling and you're not making it any better. And you get stuck having dinner with a certain teeth edging family member

Warning(s): Some angst, swearing, mentions of underage drinking, intoxication, dry heaving, gagging & throwing up

Notes: We get to see a little more of R's past in this one and I think you're gonna like one specific scene I wrote 🤭

Masterlist|Previous Part|Next Part

Tara, Mindy, Chad and Ethan were once again over at your and Anika’s apartment to hang out with her. She tried to convince you to hang out with them but you weren’t interested. Your answer was always the same whenever she asked.

They just weren’t your crowd. They weren’t in high school and they aren't now. You were fine with that. Anika on the other hand wanted you to get to know them. They were friends with her girlfriend and became her own. She wanted all of you to get along.

She was fully aware of your rocky relationship with Tara but that wasn’t going to stop her from trying. Anika only knew a few things; you and tara have hated each other since high school and according to Mindy it started out of the blue.

“Chad I swear to god if you don’t stop throwing that blue shell at me,” Tara said as she swerved along with her kart on the screen. “It’s not my fault your reflexes on Mario Kart suck–” Tara threw a pillow at him “–hey! No pillow throwing.”

“Aaaand victory is mine!” Mindy raised her arms victoriously. “Take that losers,” she smirked while the rest of them groaned.

“Winner gets to choose where we eat for dinner and I say that diner around the corner.” After a few minutes they start to get ready to leave. “Oh hold on one second,” Anika said before approaching your bedroom door and knocking.

“Yeah?” She heard you ask from the other side. “We’re going to that diner around the corner. You wanna come?” Shit. Anika knew damn well it was your favorite place to eat. The only flaw is that it doesn’t deliver.

Your roommate heard groaning and shuffling before the door swung open. “Sure I’m in.” You were wearing jeans and a Batman shirt that looked a little too thin for the chill fall weather. “Aren’t you going to be a bit cold?” She asked before you rolled your head back and grabbed your older brother’s letterman jacket.

“I’ll take this. Happy mom?” She rolled her eyes before replying. “Very, now come on.”

The walk over was short but you still trailed behind them the entire time. When you all sat in a booth you chose to hide with a menu by holding it up in front of your face. You stared at the menu as if you weren’t going to order your usual. Anika and Mindy sit beside you as Ethan, Chad and Tara sit in front of you.

They have multiple conversations that you choose to stay out of until you hear your name. “So, Y/N, you like Batman?” You put down the menu and tilt your head slightly, looking at the curly haired boy who had spoken.

“It’s just I noticed your Batman shirt,” Ethan continued as he briefly pointed to the shirt you were wearing. “Oh yeah. He’s cool. You?” He smiled and nodded.

A conversation between the two of you – that was Ethan asking you questions and you responding with a short answer or hum – eventually picked up. During all this you couldn’t help but feel like you were being stared at but chose to ignore it. Your conversation with Ethan was put on pause when the food came. You quietly munched on your fries until Tara spoke up.

“So, Y/N–” here we go “–you only come out of your room for food and the occasional bathroom breaks…you’re kind of like a deer.” She took a bite of one of her onion rings. “A deer? What– well you’re five foot nothin’ so I don’t know why you’re talkin'.” You shot back. It wasn’t the first time somebody’s compared your habits to a deer.

“I’m five foot one!” She defended with a scoff before you responded. “But who’s keeping track, right? And speaking of which–” everybody at the table were now staring at the both of you “–why are you keeping track of my routine anyways?”

“Oh you are so full of it,” Tara said with her arms now crossed. “Full of what? I haven’t accused you of anything yet my little stalker. Simply just asking,” you shrugged while wearing a smug look that Tara wanted to ki- smack right off your face.

“Don’t you still sleep with a Spider-Man plushie?” Tara retorted before sipping her milkshake, her eyes never leaving you. “Technically I don’t sleep with him, he sits on my nightstand. Wait– how do you know about him?” You asked with tilt in your head.

Tara suddenly avoided your stare as she twirled her straw in her milkshake. “You mentioned it at some point,” she finally murmured.

“You remembered that?” She remembered that? Even you couldn’t remember mentioning that to her until now.

“It’s not a big deal. Not like it’s a hard thing to remember.” It suddenly got quiet between the two of you. All of them eventually drifted off into their own conversation as you silently nibbled on another one of your fries.

Suddenly you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. The message you read causes you to freeze and your eyes to widen.

Dad (8:56 pm) I’m coming over this weekend.

“Shit,” you mutter and Anika turns over to you. “What’s wrong?” she asks but then her eyes catch the message you’re still staring at. Before she could say anything else you were already typing away.

Y/N (8:58 pm) Tomorrow?

You started to push down on your thumb’s cuticles with your index finger while waiting for a response.

Dad (9:01 pm) Yes

Tomorrow was Saturday and you were originally going to help Tara with one of her assignments and then play video games at Henry’s place but not anymore. Now you’re going to get stuck with your father. It wasn’t an ideal situation. You and him never got along.

You were never his favorite and that was alright with you cause he was never yours. All he did was bring problems. If he wasn’t busy cheating on your mom then he was nit picking at you and every little thing you did. No matter what you did you just couldn’t be enough for him.

A foot gently tapping your own from under the table pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see Tara with her eyebrows furrowed. You simply cleared your throat and shook her head a bit, trying to show you were fine. She looked you up and down – not believing you one bit – before turning back to her conversation with Chad.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and you turned your head to find Anika. “Are you gonna need the apartment this weekend? It’s not a problem if you do,” she asked and reassured you.

“No, I think I’m just gonna take him out for dinner. Besides, he only knows where I’m attending college. He doesn’t know where I live and I’d like to keep it that way,” you murmured back before sipping your milkshake. You saw her nod from the corner of your eye before she turned back to Mindy.

When you all left the diner you and Tara went back to your bickering. Chad rubbed his stomach before letting out a tiny groan. “Shit, I shouldn’t have drank the milkshake and soda.” Mindy rolled her eyes and replied, “I told you not to drink both.”

You and Tara were slightly ahead of the group. “Yeah bu– are those ghost socks?” You asked, cutting yourself off. Tara looked down at her socks for a second before looking back at you. “Yeah, and?” You put out your bottom lip as you shook your head. “Nothing. I think you look cute in them. Anyways back to the point I was making–” Tara didn’t hear much after the word “cute.”

Why are you acting as if you didn’t just call her cute? Were you doing this on purpose? Making her feel like this? Like butterflies were flying around in her stomach? Surely you knew. This had to be another one of your tactics. Another way for you to get inside her hea–

“Watch out for dog shit,” you said as you pulled her by the waist and away from the crap she was about to step on. When you removed your hand from her waist she almost missed it. Almost.

“You okay?” She turned her head to look up at you. “Yeah, fine.” Tara responded before looking back ahead.

Mindy and Anika watched the whole interaction. They gave each other a silent look before continuing their own conversation.

“You seem out of it.” Tara gave you a raised eyebrow before you elaborated. “I just mean, usually you would’ve had a rebuttal for me by now. You doin’ okay?” You were now fully looking at her and she hated the concern in your eyes.

She turned her head, no longer able to handle your stare. “I said I was fine, didn't I?” Tara crossed her arms. You gave her a tight lipped look before sighing, “Okay then…”

When you all got back to your apartment you placed your leftovers on the counter. Just as you were about to go to your room your phone started ringing.

You tense up before saying, “I’m gonna take this,” and going to your bedroom. Leaving Anika and the rest of them in the living room.

You silently sighed in relief as you heard your mom’s voice. The call itself didn’t take too long. It was just her checking in, making sure your father told you about him being in Manhattan this weekend – as vague as he was – and that her and your younger brother, Stephen, would be joining you and him for dinner. You had zero complaints to this as you did not want to be left alone with your father.

When you stepped out of your room you completely forgot people were over. You stopped in your tracks as their heads turned to you for a brief moment, Tara was biting on her nails but dropped them from her mouth as soon as she saw you and looked back at the TV.

“Great, you’re all still here,” you said sarcastically before sitting down in the loveseat. Anika kicked your feet due to your blatant comment.

“Be nice,” she mouthed. You lifted your legs to rest on the loveseat’s armrest. You had no idea why you were sitting out here anyway. Originally you had come out of your room thinking they had left. You definitely weren’t in the mood for company.

But when are you ever?

“Oh um, Tara I’m not gonna make it tomorrow,” you told her after a few minutes of silence. “Why?” Tara sinked further into the couch when she realized she sounded more disappointed than she intended.

“I’m getting dragged off to this dinner thing tomorrow but I’ll make it up to you,” you simply answered before standing up and walking over to the kitchen. Mindy looked at you as you walked then to Tara with raised eyebrows.

“What?” Tara asked with a bored tone. “I’ll make it up to you~” Mindy mocked while dramatically fluttering her eyelashes.

“Shut up.”

—

You haven’t seen your father since you moved to Woodsboro your sophomore year. You didn’t even see him after were attacked by ghostface. Not that you expected any less from him, this was just the type of man he was. When you get to the restaurant the first people you see are your younger brother and mom.

She greets you with a kiss to the cheek and you and your brother settle for a simple nod. Once you’re all seated you ask the question that’s been on the tip of your tongue since you walked in. “So, where’s dad?” Your mom sighed before answering. A sigh you knew all too well. “He’s on his way. There was just a little traffic. Stop worrying honey, leave that for the adults.” She looked at you with a gentle smile to ease her words.

You exhale through your nose, lightly moving your index finger against the glass cup set in front of you. I am an adult, you wanted to say but this wasn’t the place for that. Not now.

“What’s college like?” Stephen asked, pulling you from your thoughts. You continued to stare at the glass as you answered him. “Still there.” You could hear your mom clear her throat. You moved your eyes to look at her before moving them back to the glass. “Some of the classes are actually worth looking forward to so I guess that’s something.”

“Well that’s good. You’ve been keeping up with your studies?” You nodded. Before she could get another word out you felt a familiar grip on your shoulder. “Sorry I’m late. Traffic.”

“Dad,” you heard your brother say. “Hey, buddy. How was the train?” Your father asked as he took the vacant space beside your mom. “It was okay,” Stephen answered.

“Y/N.” You finally looked over to him. “Dad,” you responded less enthusiastically than your brother. Stephen and your mom shared a look before you heard her speak. “Do you two know what you want?” She asked you and your brother.

Stephen nodded and you hummed.

“So, did Stephen tell you yet?” Your father asked. You looked at him then to Stephen, saying, “Tell me what?”

Your father wore a proud grin as he spoke, “He’s going to be a cop. Just like his old man and I couldn’t be prouder.” Your mom let out a silent sigh, knowing where the night was headed. “That’s great,” you took a sip of your water.

“Isn’t it? He’s going to be great.” Stephen nervously chuckled before finally saying something. “It’s not a big deal. I’m just thinking about it.” Your father shook his head, “It’s a calling, bud and you’re going to do amazing.” He sounded nothing but proud.

You gave a small smile to your brother before turning back to your glass. You expected no less from tonight. You knew your father couldn’t be here five minutes without being ‘Officer Y/L/N.’ That was your relationship with him growing up. It seemed like he knew more about being a cop than how to be your dad.

The waitress came with the food and left and the interrogation began. “So,” your father started, “you’ve been staying out of trouble?” You rolled your eyes.

“Course’ I have.” He grunted at your answer and responded, “There’s no need for an attitude. I have plenty of reasons to ask you that or did you forget about the shit you did in Brooklyn?”

You roll your eyes again. “That was years ago. I don’t do that stuff anymore.” He eyed you before picking up his fork and knife, cutting through his chicken. “Mhm, kay,” you heard him mutter with doubt laced in his tone and you clenched your jaw.

“And stop rolling your eyes. It’s a bad habit,” he added before taking a bite of his food. You subconsciously closed your eyes for a second as you felt yourself about to roll your eyes again. He always found something to nitpick at.

The rest of the night continued to go on like that. Your father continued to bring up your track record to get a rise out of you and you responded back with quips as you picked at your own skin under the table.

Not much has changed since you were fifteen.

The best news you got all night was that your father would be heading home the same night. You felt relief wash over you as you heard him say that. And as much as you love your mom and brother, you were glad they had their own ride home because you were simply too exhausted to be behind a wheel tonight.

You were walking to your apartment when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You took it out to find a text from Anika.

Nik (10:53 pm) Hey! I went to carvel today, there’s a chocolate and vanilla twist waiting for you in the freezer

You slightly smiled, now off to the side and leaning against a shutter. You replied to the message, giving a quick thanks, before only putting in the right side of your headphones in and continuing your walk to your apartment.

A hotdog stand caught your attention. The smell was alluring and you felt your stomach grumble. Damn it. You just came back from dinner but of course you were still hungry. It was dinner with your father. You never got much eating done, choosing to use your mouth for arguing rather than chewing and swallowing.

You knew how unreliable street food was but at the moment you truly didn’t care. You chose to stick with a simple order, a hotdog with ketchup drizzled top. You got a Dr Pepper from a store nearby before sitting down on a bench and eating. This was the most at peace you felt all night. Sitting on a bench, listening to music, eating a hotdog and washing it down with Dr Pepper.

If only that peace lasted.

When you got home you went to turn on the light, not expecting them to be on since Anika was supposed to be out with Mindy, but you realized they were already on. You furrowed eyebrows. Anika usually doesn’t forget something like that.

“Anika?” You called out, reaching for the bat you hid under your couch when you first moved in. After a few seconds you heard her reply, “Y/N? Yeah in here!” It sounded like she was in the bathroom. You reluctantly put the bat back before going over to the bathroom.

“Hey what’s wro–” You cut yourself off when you see an ill looking Tara hunched over your toilet. Mindy was holding her hair back as Anika turned to you. “Hey um, sorry to just drop this on you. I know you probably had a long night but could you help us with something?”

You gave Tara one more glance before answering, “Yeah of course. What do you need?” You could hear Tara gagging. “Can you keep an eye on her while we get her some supplies from the pharmacy?” You nodded and murmured, “Course.’ ”

You switched places with Mindy, lifting Tara’s hair and even pushing a few extra strands from her face. She was clearly drunk and you couldn’t help but admit you hated seeing her like this. You didn’t go to as many parties as she did but from what you’ve heard most of her free nights end with her being drunk.

“You're never gonna let me forget this, are you?” Tara said in between gags. You subconsciously moved one of your hands to her lower back, softly rubbing in circles.

“What? You think I like seeing you like this?” You asked genuinely. Surely she knew you didn’t…right? Seeing her in such an unhealthy state only brought a feeling of– well you couldn’t find the right word for what you felt. But you knew it wasn’t anything positive.

“Don’t you?” She slurred, clearly she hadn’t puked up all the alcohol just yet. You exhale through your nose, taking your hand off her lower back to reach into your pocket to grab a hair tie. Tara missed the contact but refused to say anything. Only pouting at yourself for even thinking such a thing.

You run your hands through her hair, brushing it back and tying it in a loose but secure ponytail. You push a single loose strand behind her ear causing your knuckles to brush against her cheek. Tara’s breath hitches and she blushes, due to your touch.

Goodness, what were you doing to her?

“No. I don’t,” you finally answered. She went to say something but was cut off by dry heaving and your hand immediately went back to her lower back, continuing to rub gentle circles.

You could hear the faint sound of your front door opening and a few seconds later the bathroom door slowly opened.

“Hey, we got everything,” Anika told you. You turned your head to see her with a pharmacy bag. You and Anika got Tara to the couch in one piece while Mindy was in the kitchen setting up everything Tara would need. “Oh Y/N, before I forget. Tara’s staying the night because Sam will freak out if she comes home like this,” Anika told you as you wiped the remnants of drool and throw up off Tara’s face. You thought for a second before responding,“Okay, she can take my bed.” Tara was now passed out cold on the couch, hugging a pillow close to her chest.

“Are you sure?” Your roommate asked and you hummed. “Listen, we may hate each other but my mom raised me right. I’m not leaving her on the couch. Besides, I’m assuming Mindy’s also staying to keep an eye on her and you two shouldn’t have to get stuck cuddling on a couch all night.”

After Anika hesitantly agreed, you set up your bed and then went back to the couch to find Tara still fast asleep. You lifted her bridal style and started the walk to your room. Tara mumbled something incoherent before her eyes fluttered open. She seemed confused as she looked around then up at you. “It’s okay, go to sleep,” you said in a soft voice that made Tara’s cheeks warm.

Once you placed her in your bed you put the covers over and gently lifted her head to put a pillow under her. Her eyes were once again shut, you assumed she fell asleep again and looked at her for a moment before leaving the room but not without leaving the door open by a sliver. Just in case anything happened and she needed you– or anyone.

When Tara woke up she instantly noticed the pounding headache she had and groaned. She rubbed her temples and after a minute she took a look around. This was not her room. Has she been kidnapped? But it was then when all the memories from last night came rushing to her.

All the embarrassing memories. She could remember starting off with a shot…then two…then three…then she woke up to Anika and Mindy helping her up and walking her out of the party. She had complained about not wanting to go back to her own place because Sam would kill her so Anika and Mindy brought her to Anika’s apartment instead and Mindy messaged Sam that they were staying the night at her house.

After that she felt like throwing up…and she did. Then she didn’t stop for a while. And then– oh this is when the embarrassment comes in. That’s when you came home and Anika asked you to help while they went out for supplies.

Oh, you were so gentle with her. She almost let out a dreamy sigh while looking back until she caught herself. Snap out of it, Carpenter, she scolded herself. But then another memory of you carrying her bridal style to your bed and tucking her in appeared.

No. Mindy wasn’t right and Tara still despised you. You were still the same asshole from high school.

She heard two soft knocks on the door and looked over to see you carrying a plate of scrambled eggs. “Didn’t know if you were awake,” you murmured. You walked over and placed them beside the water bottle and aspirin you left for her the night before.

“Anika made some scrambled eggs and eggs are good for hangovers, so…” You awkwardly shifted back and forth on your feet with your arms behind your back, your hands holding onto each other. “I’m gonna go.” And with that you left the room, not waiting for a response from Tara.

After five minutes, Tara finally leaves your bedroom. “There she is,” Mindy smiled at her before putting a grape in her mouth. “So loud,” Tara mumbled while lifting a hand to her head.

She lifted herself onto the stool beside Anika and Mindy and put her head down. But she lifted her head slightly and shifted her eyes, noticing a certain her nuisance wasn’t there to bother her or call her princess.

“Where’s Y/N?” She asked in her morning voice. “Your lover girl had a morning shift at the cafe,” Mindy answered. Tara didn’t have the energy to make a retort or argue back saying, “She’s not my lover girl.” She settled with putting her head back down with heavy eyes.

“What time is Sam expecting us?” Anika asked her girlfriend who answered, “Eleven so we should probably get ready soon.”

After a few minutes Tara went back to your bedroom to gather her stuff when suddenly she realized she didn’t recognize the hoodie she was wearing. She looked down and saw Spider-Man at the center of the hoodie, putting up his hands to form a heart. She could recall seeing you wearing this around campus before and noted that it smelled like you. She could never admit that she actually appreciated the gesture considering the tank top you put it over wasn’t doing anything to keep her warm.

It wouldn’t hurt to keep the hoodie, right?

She looked over at the scrambled eggs you had brought in for her before sitting down on the edge of the bed, swinging her feet as she thought to herself. Guess it wouldn’t hurt to eat the eggs. It was Anika who made it after all. She ate a few bites over your nightstand before taking a sip of water and took an aspirin.

When she got back home she greeted Sam before laying down on her bed and replaying last night over and over again and how she had to face you in class the next day.

—

When Tara got to class you greeted her as if nothing happened. “Hey, you look like you just got run over by a truck,” you said, causing her to roll her eyes at you. “Oh do I?” She asked rhetorically and took out her laptop.

Throughout class her mind kept trailing back to your gentleness towards her that night. All Anika told you to do was watch her. She didn’t tell you to wipe the drool and throw up off her face, put her hair in a ponytail or rub her back as she gagged.

The fact that you had somehow found your way into her head was pissing Tara off. So pissed in fact that instead of going about her usual routine with you she just chose to ignore you.

You weren’t sure why Tara was ignoring you. Obviously something seemed off with her but you had no idea what. Was she mad at you? She didn’t seem her usual mad, this was different. She’s never taken her aggression out by ignoring you. By using colorful words? Yeah. But never with silence.

Oh.

You must've done something terrible. But what?

As you walked to your next class you tried to look back at what you could’ve possibly done. You hadn’t done anything you haven’t done before. Just your usual banter with Tara, nothing out of the norm. By the time you got to your apartment later that day you were still trying to figure out what you could’ve done. This shouldn’t be stressing you out as much as it was. It was just Tara after all.

Anika noticed your distressed state and walked to the kitchen, a minute later coming back with your chocolate and vanilla twist and handing it to you. “Thanks,” you said as you took the ice cream from your roommate.

“Wanna talk about what’s got you like this?” She asked you, moving to sit in the love seat. You moved the spoon around a bit in your ice cream before answering. “I just…I don’t know what I did but T– this person is giving me the silent treatment and I just don’t know why. I’ve been trying to come up with something I could’ve done to get that treatment but nothing’s coming to me,” you finally said as Anika nodded along and listened.

“Well, you can be kind of an asshole sometimes. Seems like you've thought pretty hard on this. You care a lot for this person?” She suddenly asked. You almost wanted to laugh. Would Anika be asking this if she knew you were talking about Tara?

“Oh, goodness no. She’s just an– acquaintance? I guess you can say. If you even wanna call her anything,” you answered her. “You seem pretty sure of that,” she stated with a tone of doubt.

“Cause’ I am.” You responded trying to sound certain. “Then why care so much if she’s ignoring you? If you don’t care about her then you shouldn't care if she’s giving you the silent treatment,” Anika continued as you sat there and took in every word.

“I could easily move past this whole thing and forget about it entirely if I wanted to,” you defended not so convincingly. “Okay. Then move past it,” she challenged.

“Alright, I will then,” you said. “You’re gonna lose sleep over this,” Anika confidently said as she walked away to her room. You huffed as you ate your ice cream. I won’t lose sleep over Tara freakin’ Carpenter.

Later that night you were sprawled on your bed…and thinking about Tara.

-----------

A/N: wonder what's gonna happen next 🤔

Taglist: @t-wylia @lesbianpepsi @jennasfav @alyciaddict @justafoolinlove @steffido1993 @niqmandu @severelyuniquereview @darklron @ravenousinferno @smut-religiously777 @beautifulmongerbanditsalad @vanatalye

#tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x female reader #tara x reader #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #scream #scream 6 #scream vi #let the light in au #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 5 months

Text

Seven Days to Fall Again | Thursday | Jeon Jungkook

Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary: Flowers for my love. Jungkook is trying absolutely everything he can to get you back. No matter how ridiculous it might seem. Pairing: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Word Count: 3.2k (longer one this time lol) a/n: So I haven't posted anything for this series in almost a month so I'm really really sorry for that. I have so many other series going at this point that it's taken me a second to come back around and write for this one again. This one is a little bit longer to hopefully make up for it. Let me know what you think! p.s. Pretty much wrote all of this is one night so I hope it's not complete crap but I thought it was cute hehe Start from the beginning

Jungkook's visit yesterday threw me for a loop to say the least.

I've tried to do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't get to me but no matter how many pep talks I give myself or how many times I've tried to scold myself instead, nothing works.

I miss him, and I hate myself because of that.

I've been able to go through my morning and most of my afternoon with radio silence from him which has been incredible for my stress levels but I can't help but feel his absence more and more as time goes by.

He was hardly ever around for the last few months of our relationship so I don't know why his presence; which I had specifically chose not to have around now almost feels more painful.

"Maybe I just need a walk" I say out loud "Yeah a walk and some fresh air should clear everything up" I continue, trying to lie to myself in thinking that some sunshine might actually fix this.

Walking out of my apartment and heading straight to the subway I make a decision to go to a little cafe that I used to go to with my classmates. It's been a while since I've been there and their strawberry crepes were to die for from what I remember so I think it's time I treated myself to something nice.

~~~~~~~

Leaving the station I notice a big crowd starting to gather around and I get a glimpse of what they're all staring at, seeing that it's some guy getting picked up off the ground and rolled out on a gurney.

Taking a closer look, believing that I somehow know them, I feel the need to make sure they're okay but I'm stopped by the police tape they've put up.

Once the guy's head turns towards me my eyes widen in horror seeing that it's Jungkook. "Wait! Wait! Jungkook! Wait that's my boyfriend!" I say and duck under the yellow tape not bothering to worry about the repercussions.

When he hears my voice and opens his eyes and I see them quickly change from seeming like he had been on the edge of life and death into his big doe ones, sending me a bright smile, showing zero sighs of distress anymore and leaves me stopping in my tracks.

"CUT" I hear someone shout in the distance. "Who is this girl and why is she on my set?" the same voice say as they gradually get closer.

"No one" I say, crossing my arms over my chest and see Jungkook give me an awkward smile in response. I scoff and don't bother listening to no doubt the director trying to speak to me and from the small bits I catch onto it sounds almost as if he wanted me to complete the scene.

"Not interested" I mumble and walk off, ignoring their efforts to keep me there. "Baby wait!" I hear Jungkook say as he struggles to get the belt they had fastened off of him.

I don't even bother responding and continue to make my way down the street to the cafe, praying that he won't follow me but it seems as though the universe is laughing at me because despite the growing crowd around us he still is able to keep his eyes on me.

"Y/n wait! Please!" he yells, making sure that there's no way possible that I couldn't hear him but I choose to ignore him nonetheless. "Please Noona wait!" he continues, using a word that he knows will get a reaction out of me and my steps stutter for a second but I regain my balance seamlessly and pick up the pace seconds after.

"Excuse me, sorry. Excuse me, thank you" I hear him say, continuing to use that loud voice letting me know that he's still on my tail but as soon as I get to a crosswalk I start to walk a bit faster, hoping to cut him off and lose him when he hopefully gets stuck waiting for the next light and luckily this time it works.

I take a quick glance behind me to check and see him standing there catching my gaze and turning to a flower vender beside him and buying a bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flowers during this time of year and I know he didn't just get them randomly because no matter how much I think he doesn't pay attention or care about our relationship I know he makes sure he knows the little things about me.

And that's one of the things that makes me want to take him back.

"Y/n wait! Please" he yells and I turn around just in time to see him decide to take a risk and cross the street without waiting for the light and seconds later I hear the sound of tires screeching on the pavement and see Jungkook duck out of view.

"Jungkook" I whisper, stopping dead in my tracks, my body totally frozen at the thought that he might've gotten hit.

Moments later though I see the sunflowers resurface above the crowd and his head soon after that and I watch the exchange between him and the driver and then soon see him turning back to me and abandoning the conversation to start running after me again.

"Wait!" he says and I turn on my heel to keep going, hating the fact that I've already lost the distance I had gained between us.

I duck into a random shop in hopes that he'll somehow lose sight of me and walk right past it, losing me and hopefully letting me resume my intended relaxing day to myself. I'll just stop by the bakery instead and make my way home so I can head in the opposite way of what he probably had expected me to be going in.

As I hear the shopkeeper welcome me I quickly return their greeting and hide behind one of their shelves, picking up a random book and holding it up to my face. Making sure it's open and covering me just enough for him not to notice, but also giving me enough visual to see him pass by and continue his search in the opposite way, just as I had planned.

I watch as he walks past the store, frantically turning his head in all directions to see if he could finally catch sight of me again and to my delight he continues on the path he had seen me on a few minutes before.

I let out a deep breath at the sight and put the book down, finally gaining some of that peace of mind.

"Were you looking for anything specific dear?" the older shopkeeper asks. "No not really, I was just trying to lose my tail" I say pointing towards the window. "My ex boyfriend has been trying to get me back and he won't stop trying to talk to me so we can 'Talk things out' or whatever" I say, letting out a huge sigh, happy to get a chance to talk to someone at least a little bit.

"Well have you given him a chance to say his piece yet?" she questions, leaving me shocked, expecting her to side with me. "Well...no, but we've gone through these sorts of problems before and I just don't want him to say something that will convince me to give him another chance again" I say, walking towards her and leaning on a shelf nearby.

She takes a second to think before responding and says something that I was hoping she wouldn't. "You need to give him a chance to at least say something. Everyone deserves closure don't you think?" she says with a soft smile, hoping to get through to me. "Unless he's violent or something of that sort. Then he can go fuck himself" she says with a grin, already knowing that's not the case.

I open and close my mouth a bit, not really knowing how to respond and she laughs at my reaction, loving how much she's caught me off guard. "He was the young man that just passed by with those sunflowers wasn't he?" she says with a knowing smile. "How did you-" I start out but she cuts me off with another laugh.

"That boy had the most adorable panicked look, searching here and there as if he had lost his owner. He's quite handsome if you ask me" she say winking at me and making me blush a bit at her straightforward nature. "Give him a chance love. And if you let him go, then you let him go. Trust me, you don't want to deal with the what ifs if he stops trying" she says giving me a soft smile.

I know she's right and I know I should at least hear him out but at this point I think it's something I've gotta work my way up to. His all or nothing attitude right now is just too much for me.

"You're right. I'll take some time and when I'm ready I'll sit down with him to talk it all out. Thank you. Oh I'm sorry I should probably get out of your hair. Uh" I stammer at the end, feeling guilty for taking up so much of her time.

"Um here, can I buy this?" I ask, placing a little bear with a lavender flower embroidered on it's collar on the counter, grabbing the first thing I laid eyes on. It can't be more than four inches tall with it's cute round belly and a little sun hat on it with the ears sticking through it.

"Keep it" she say, not even bothering to offer room for discussion as she walks away from the counter. "It's full of lavender petals so keep it close and the smell will help calm you down whenever you need it. You might even want to hold it close when you're talking to that boyfriend of yours" she says with a wink and walks to the back of the store, disappearing behind a shelf, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I pull out my wallet and put a five dollar bill in the tip jar and take a second glance at the bear and hold it up close to my face, breathing in it's sweet and slightly musky fragrance. I smile down at it's cute little face and put it in my purse. 'I've never been in this bookstore before' I think to myself, now finally taking a second to check out the rest of the interior beyond the immediate storefront.

I make it a note to come back here one day and return her kindness by bringing something for her to repay her not only for the bear but also for her hospitality and advice.

I take one last glance around and turn to make my way out.

"You certainly took your time in there" I hear a familiar voice say beside me, leaving me holding my breath for a second at the scare. "Jungkook" I say placing my hand over my chest before using that same hand seconds later to wack his arm making him drop the flowers he had started to hold out for me to take.

"Hey! What was that for?" he whines, rubbing his arm for a few seconds and picking them back up. "That's for not only scaring me just now, but also scarring me earlier today with that stupid ambulance nonsense" I say throwing my arm out towards what I now know as being a stupid movie set and when I turn back to face him all I can see is a big grin on his face.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?" I question crossing my arms over my chest. "You know you called me your boyfriend back there right?" he says, his smile growing even wider. I scoff at the memory and don't even dignify his words with a response, turning and making my way back to the bakery just as I had intended as my plan B.

"Wait Noona please" he says and places a light grip on my arm. "What?" I spit out, turning to face him again, a look of displeasure on my face which somehow makes him smile even wider. "Can I at least walk you home?" he asks, poised in anticipation.

Now that the shop keeper had equated him to a dog I can't help but notice how much he's been giving off golden retriever energy these past few days. Excited and begging for my attention no matter what I say.

"I'm not going home" I say pulling my arm out of his grasp but he grabs onto my hand this time instead, making me stop again, knowing that as much as I want to, I'm probably not going to get my way this time. "Can I walk you to wherever you're going then?" he questions, now completing the look with his puppy dog eyes that pull on my heartstrings every time.

"Fine" I say and he happily catches up to me after deciding to hand the flowers off to some guy and his girlfriend, knowing for a fact that I won't take them. For a second I don't even realize that he had decided to hold my hand again until he sways them back and forth a bit making me rip mine out of his grasp and opting to cross my arms over my chest instead, leaving it hard for him to try to grab onto me again.

~~~~~~

Walking up to the bakery a few minutes later I stop and face him for a second hoping to shoo him away. "Okay, you can leave now" I say and take a few steps but I still feel his presence close behind me. "Why are you following me?" I ask turning around again, not amused at the fact that he's not listening to me.

"Who said I was following you? I wanted to get something from here too! You know I like the chocolate donuts here, remember?" he says giving me a soft smile. "Fine" I mumble and reach for the door handle but before I can his hand reaches for it and opens it for me. I spare him a glare and he sends me a sweet bunny smile in return making me roll my eyes in response.

I walk in and when he tries to do the same he notices a group of older woman making their way out and he waits to hold it open for them as well and I can't help but roll my eyes again, watching him continue to play the sweet loving gentlemen. They smile and thank him a few times in return which he responds with a smile and once they're finally out he heads inside intending to stand next to me in line but is cut off by a few people between us leaving me smiling in victory but it doesn't last long.

"Excuse me sorry do you mind? I'm with her" he says pointing towards me leaving me widening my gaze and turning around but not fast enough for the others to notice if he's lying or not. "Yeah, sure" one of the guys says and they step aside and let him walk up to me but in the process of squeezing through he stumbles and falls into me a little bit, leaving him latching onto me, pressing me up against the wall I had been leaning against.

"S-sorry Noona" he apologizes, ears turning red clearly embarrassed at our current position. "It's fine" I grumble and push him off of me, creating some much needed space and walking up to the counter where they're waiting for the next customer.

"Hi can I get a raspberry donut and a ham and cheese croissant? Thanks" I say and the worker looks over at Jungkook as he is standing next to me and waits for his order. "Oh we're not, we're not together" I say tripping over my words, this being the first time I've said that in front of someone while he's standing right next to me.

The worker looks between us and draws what I can assume is a line under my order that she's written down and then asks for Jungkook's which he orders just what he had said before, a chocolate donut.

"Thank you" he says warmly and the worker looks between the two of us, not believing my words from before but smiles almost amused by our situation and tells us our orders will be right out before handing the paper over to the cashier where she gives me my total.

Before I'm even able to reach for my card though I see Jungkook place his phone on the card reader to pay.

"Hey!" I say in protest while Jungkook tells her to ring him up again for his donut as well. I decide it's useless arguing with him in public and walk off to the side to wait for our food. "I can pay for my own food" I grumble as he walks up to me. "I know, but I wanted to" he says simply and we wait in silence until they hand us our bags.

"So where are you going now?" he asks, holding the door open for me again and jogging after me, having to hold the door for the next person again. "Home" I say and make my way to the subway entrance. "Can I walk you home?" he asks, already knowing the answer but trying anyway.

"No Jungkook. You can't. You asked if you could walk me to wherever I was going next but that isn't an invitation to follow me around for the rest of the day. Just leave me alone." I say, the last part not as confident as the rest. "I just want to make sure you get back safely" he offers and at that my blood starts boiling.

"I'm more that capable of taking care of myself! I don't need you to babysit me because last time I checked I was the one that was older than you" spit out at him, pressing a finger on his chest. Getting more and more irritated with every breath and watch as his eyes get wide, surprised by my sudden hostile nature.

"I'm s-sorry I didn't think tha-" "And that's exactly what your problem is. You don't think about what I want or even what I don't want. Now will you please leave me alone? I don't want to deal with this today and I don't want you to follow me" I say, punctuating my words so it'll get through his thick skull.

He opens his mouth to respond but I cut him off again before he makes me even more upset. "Don't" I say and walk away, throwing my food away in the nearest trashcan and descend down the step into the subway station, hoping and praying he doesn't follow me.

This time around though the universe smiles down at me, granting my wishes but leaves behind a broken and beaten down Jungkook, truly trying to figure out how everything went so wrong.

Wednesday / Friday Series Masterlist

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albertasunrise · 5 months

Text

Hope - No Hope

Masterlist

Summary: After Joel loses his wife and your best friend during childbirth. You support him as he takes on parenthood on his own at 22. But when feelings start to develop, you battle with the guilt you feel for falling for your best friend’s husband.

Relationships: Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+… this is to avoid spoilers! (I am so sorry this has taken so long. As many of you know I am expecting my first baby and the little miracle has been draining the lift out of me 😂 but I am getting over that now and so I will be updating my fics over the coming weeks 🥰 hope you enjoy!)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2

One year later...

Weekends at yours with Alec grilling had become a tradition. Noah and Sarah still adored each other and were practically joined at the hip at this point. You'd been with Alec for over a year. Moving it with each other not long after getting together Joel had been left to try and pull himself out of the dark hole your leaving him and Sarah had left him in. Yet, despite the crippling jealousy that he felt towards the other man for capturing your heart, he could not hate him. Alec was the perfect gentleman. You and he flourished together and helped Joel whenever he needed it. It was impossible to be anything but happy for you both.

"Sarah come." Said Noah as he took her hand and helped her waddle over to his jungle gym "Play princesses."

Joel watched with fondness as his 18th-month daughter walked with the little boy, her legs still a little wobbly but getting stronger every week. He kept an eye on them both whilst listening in to the conversation that was flowing between the adults. Tommy laughed as he told them a story about one of his friends, the older brother smiling at how enthusiastically his brother spoke about his brothers in arms.

"How's work been for you Joel?" You asked, pulling his gaze away from the kids and towards you as you smiled sweetly at him.

"Business is good." Joel answered with a shrug "Can't complain really."

"How did your date with that client's daughter go?" Tommy asked as he gave his brother a wink.

"You had a date?" You practically squeaked, looking between the two brothers with giddy excitement.

"Was fine." Joel shrugged "She was sweet but we just didn't click." Joel shrugged, looking down at the beer in his hand in hoping that you would drop it.

"What really happened?" You pushed and he sighed, there was no hiding anything from you.

"She uh... Well, she freaked out when I told her I had a kid." He answered honestly "Can't blame her. I'm 22 with a toddler. Not exactly what you expect or what from a relationship in your early twenties."

"Joel..."

"It's fine... Honestly, what 20-something What's a kid right?"

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. Unable to find the words to say to make him feel better. He was so young and yet he seemed so set that he was to face life alone.

"Foods up" Stated Alec as he placed the plate of burgers down beside the salad you'd placed there a few minutes ago.

"KIDS." Joel shouted, smirking when just their heads appeared in the doorway of the fort "FOOD!" he finished, outright smirking at how their eyes widened before they scrambled over to the table.

Lunch passed with ease. Noah found it exceedingly funny how his little friend pulled her burger apart so that she could eat it all in separate pieces. Then after the dishes were cleared away and the kids were out down for a nap the four of you sat in the garden and enjoyed the piece and quiet. The conversation flowed easily and everything was relaxed.

Until you and Alec dropped your news.

"We're real glad that the two of you were able to make it." Alec said as he glanced at you and smiled.

"Why's that?" Tommy asked as he eyed you and Alec.

"Well, we got some news."

Joel's stomach dropped.

"Y'all getting married?" Tommy fired at them and they chuckled.

"No... Although we have been discussing it." Alec chuckled.

"What is it then?" Tommy pushed and Joel wished his brother wouldn't. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"We're gonna have a baby." You gushed and Joel swore his heart stopped altogether.

"What?"

Your brows pulled together at his question and he internally scorned himself for his reaction. He hadn't meant to say that out loud but he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

You were pregnant?

"What my brother meant to say was congrats." Tommy piped up, pulling Joel back to earth with a crash.

"Yeah... Course I did... just caught me by surprise is all." Joel stated, giving you what he hoped was a convincing smile.

"Yeah... we uh..." Alec chuckled as you both gazed at each other a moment and grinned "We were too. Would be lying if we said we planned this."

That didn't make Joel feel any better.

"We have one too many bottles of wine to thank for this." You sniggered as you placed your hand on the bump that Joel had completely missed before.

"Well, we already know you're both gonna be ace parents." Tommy said as he jumped to his feet, bending down to hug both you and Alec.

Joel's heart was in his throat. He had worked so hard to bury his feelings for you but this news had just dredged them from the depths and shoved them in his face. He felt like he was under a spotlight as you all turned to look at him, waiting for him to speak. Sarah crying down the baby monitor couldn't have come at a better time.

The tearful daddies had him standing from his seat quickly and muttering a few nervous sorry's before he sprinted inside to his daughter. You couldn't help but be confused by Joel's reaction to your news. You'd thought he would be happy for you.

Meanwhile, Joel was rocking his sniffly little girl as she settled in his arms, placing soft kisses on her head of curly hair as he whispered how it was okay to her whilst swallowing back his own tears. He soothed his little girl back to sleep, laying her back down in her cot before stumbling back onto the couch behind him, falling into it and throwing his head in his hands as he allowed his tears to flow.

Something you watched from the shadows as your heart shattered for him. You weren't sure why he was so broken but you hated seeing him hurt. Little did you know that he was mourning the fact that you were completely and utterly lost to him now. He officially had no hope of sharing his life with the woman who had pulled him from the deepest pit and brought him into the light. The woman who had taught him that life was worth living.

That everyone has a second chance at love.

...

Tommy watched his brother from the kitchen as the man finished cleaning away the mess Sarah had left from dinner. They had left a short while after you and Alec had made your announcement, Joel remaining quiet the rest of the time they were there. He knew something was up. His brother wasn't good at hiding his true feelings, he wore them on his sleeve and he felt conflicted about his sibling's reaction to your pregnancy. Part of him felt for Joel. Knowing that for longer than his older brother had realised, he'd had feelings for you and how this bombshell must have shattered him. The other part though was angry that Joel hadn't even tried to pretend that he was happy for you.

"Joel." He called out when his brother's cleaning got more erratic "Joel!" He said a little louder when his first call fell on deaf ears.

"What." The older man growled, coming to a stop and gripping the edges of the counter as he stared at the bottles now soaking in the sink.

"You could have been nicer about her news." He said plainly, pulling Joel's gaze to him.

"What?" He asked again, but his tone changed.

"I get that you're probably feeling a bit bummed about this but-"

"Bummed?" Joel snarled, stopping his brother in his tracks "You think I'm feeling bummed about this?"

"You know what I mean... I get you're disappointed but you could have at least pretended to be happy for her."

Joel said nothing.

His chest heaved as his brother's words whirled in his brain. Bummed... he thought to himself. BUMMED?? He hadn't meant to yell that last thought at his brother.

"I am fucking devastated." Joel choked, taking his brother by surprise "A year and a half ago... I lost my wife on what should have been the happiest day of my life."

Tommy flinched at the mention of Joel's dead wife.

"I drove home alone... with this tiny person beside me and I honestly thought that my life was over..." He trailed off as he scraped a shaky hand over his face "And then I walk into that very lounge and there's this ray of light shining back at me.

"She pulled me back from the brink and despite my brain telling me it was wrong... I fell for her. But my wife had just died and I had a new baby so I pushed it away... Pushed her away..." Joel was sobbing now, his cheeks glittering with the tears that tracked down them "I pushed her away and she stumbled into the arms of another man. A man that I can't even hate because he's so fucking perfect for her!"

"But you are-"

"I'm a fucking wreck, Tommy." Joel interrupted "I am nothing but bad for her and my feeling devastated about her happy news just proves that."

"Joel..." Tommy trailed off, his heart aching for his older brother now.

"I fucked up." He finished, shrugging and leaving the room.

As the weather grew a little more changeable, dinners at your home became more scarce. Instead, you had started to have Sarah over for a few hours in the evening as Joel's hours had gotten longer. He never stuck around when collecting her though and you knew he was avoiding you. You hadn't pushed the subject of witnessing him crying. You'd barely mentioned the pregnancy around him in the short moments you did share any conversation. One month merged into two. Two into three and you felt him grow more and more distant with each one.

You ached to talk to him though. To try and understand why your happy news had affected him the way it had. You wondered if perhaps it had brought up the hurt of losing Ali. They had broken the news to you in a similar way. Dinner at there's with you and a few other close friends, they had announced that they were expecting. Perhaps it had brought up memories and feelings he'd not dwelt on for a while.

He never gave you a chance to find out though. You would share a few words. Mostly about what Sarah had been up to at nursery and with you before discussing what she had for dinner and any other days he may need you to have her. Your friendship had become little more than a business transaction and it was breaking your heart... And Alec could see how much it was breaking you.

He only allowed one more month of this to continue before he finally decided that enough was enough.

...

Joel glanced up at the door, glancing at Tommy before pushing himself to his feet and walking up to answer it. He had no clue who would be at his door at 9 in the evening but if he had hazard a guess, he wouldn't have ever thought it was Alec.

"Hey." Alec said as he gave the man a smile "Hope I'm not interrupting."

"Tommy and I were just watching the game." Joel replied and Alec nodded "What can I do for you?" He asked as he glanced over the man's shoulder "Everything okay?"

"Oh yeah." Alec nodded, giving Joel's arm a friendly pat "I just thought you and I could go for a drink. Catch up... It's been a while."

"Oh, I don't know... Sarah-"

"Can be sat by her uncle Tommy for a few hours." Piped up his younger sibling as he walked up behind him "Go, I can handle shit here for a while."

"You referring to it as shit doesn't give me much confidence." Joel grumbled as he grabbed his jacket and followed Alec to his car "Page me if you need me." He threw over his shoulder as he turned his head to look at his brother who was waving him off from the front door.

"Won't need ya, brother."

...

Alec drove to a bar not far from Joel's. It was fairly busy but not so much so that they couldn't hear each other talk. The conversation had flowed surprisingly easily at first. Something that Joel had always admired about Alec was that the man loved to talk about his kid. He sat there and gushed about how well Noah and Sarah played together. How she seemed to hang off of his every action.

"He's constantly talking to baby." Alec chuckled "Telling her all the games he wants to play and-"

"Her?" Joel piped up and Alec grinned and nodded "Shit... yeah I wasn't supposed to say anything." He let out an awkward chuckle as he took a sip of his beer "We're having a girl."

"Wow, that's... That's great." Joel replied, his tone turning flat as he took a large swig of his beer in the hope that it would mask his disappointment.

"Yeah... We're excited."

"I bet."

An awkward silence fell over the duo a moment before Alec spoke again. Leaning forward in his chair and forcing himself into Joel's eyeline.

"What's going on man?" He asked and Joel was surprised at how surprisingly soft his question was.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that since we announced that we're having a baby you've been off." He stated plainly "I've been watching you break your friend's heart month by month as you grow more and more distant with her."

"Alec-" Joel was stopped by a raised hand and he sighed.

"I know our news must have dredged up some memories for you but you can't push your friends away." Alec pleaded "We're here to help you, Joel."

"That's not... It didn't..." Joel couldn't string the words together but Alec knew what he was trying to say.

"Well if it isn't that... the only other logical reason for your reaction is that you're..." He trailed off as he put two and two together. His eyes trailing up to Joel as the last puzzle piece falls into place.

"You're in love with her... Aren't you?"

Joel's eyes filled with tears as he nodded numbly. His eyes squeezed shut knocking a few of them free. Alec sat there in shock as he processed what he'd just learned. Joel's heart was in his throat as he watched the man work through everything he needed to. He had hoped that he would take this secret to his grave but in reality, he knew it had only been a matter of time before it came out.

"Alec I'm sorry..." Joel choked, his eyes pleading with the man to believe him "I had feelings for her way before she met you but I was struggling with losing Ali and the fact I'd developed feelings for someone so soon after that I suppressed them and pushed her away and then she met you and I... Well, I was too late. You're good for her and I would never get in the way of you guys I just... I'm not good at handling this."

This statement made Alec snort. He finally looked at Joel and the younger man readied himself for the verbal bashing he was undoubtedly about to receive. It never came.

"I won't lie to you, man." Alec started with a sigh "This is not what I expected when I decided we needed to talk."

Joel nodded, his eyes dropping to his beer bottle.

"You need to buck up your ideas now though man." The man continued "She needs you... She needs Sarah. You're all she has left of Ali and she's been slowly killing herself trying to work out what she did wrong to make you so distant."

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Joel mumbled and Alec nodded.

"I know man and I get why you've been behaving as you have. It's not gonna be easy learning the woman you love is having a baby with another man but we are your friends Joel and we can help you get through this. So let us."

Joel nodded and gave the man a teary smile.

They finished their beers before heading out of the bar and back to Alec's car. Joel had always admired the man's car. A black 66' Mustang that he had rebuilt with his dad as a kid. Alec had regaled the story fondly the first time Joel had set eyes on the car.

"Wanna drive?" Alec asked as he waved the keys at Joel.

The man's eyes widened as he nodded eagerly and Alec grinned as he tossed them to Joel as they swapped sides. To say Joel was excited did not do what he was feeling justice. He had been trying to think of a way to ask the man if he could take it for a spin since he met him, so to finally get the chance was beyond exciting.

The straight six sitting under the bonnet roared to life and Joel and Alec both groaned before the younger man peeled out of the carpark and onto the main road. No words passed between them a while before Alec rolled his head to look at his friend, smiling at the giddy excitement plastered all over Joel.

"I'm sorry you've been hurting man." He said simply "I want you to know that I genuinely care about you and I don't want to see you suffer."

Joel shot him a smile, before returning his focus to the road.

"We'll work this shit out." He finished, giving Joel's knee a friendly pat before turning his attention to the buildings that flew past his window.

"Thank you." Joel said as he smiled over at Alec, his eyes then greeting the headlights of a truck that had just jumped a light.

It was the last thing he said before the sound of metal being crushed rang in their ears.

Then everything went black.

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller the last of us #last of us #the last of us #joel miller gif #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal gif #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you

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lazyneonrabbitt · 7 months

Text

Here you will find the full list of my works for Daryl Dixon and other characters portrayed by Norman Reedus. [Main masterlist]

Requests are OPEN

⬇️ Masterlist under the cut! ⬇️ [My Ao3]

★ indicates smut, 18+ content.

Series

Paintings & Picture frames [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7]

No apocalypse AU. Daryl and reader are studying at the same college and are assigned orientation project parters. [ONGOING, HIATUS]

Wings [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6]

Judith plays matchmaker by stealing your jacket and making it match Daryl’s

Oneshots

Records of forgotten times

Digging through old music brings back sad memories, but also happy talks of the future.

Sinful ★

Father Daryl enjoys some private moments with the not-really nun.

Ruppel

You're chilling on the couch watching your favorite show. Daryl joins you because he wants to learn about your interests.

Shielded (Fantasy AU)

Everyone openly shows and uses their powers, except for Daryl. Until you get hurt.

Bad ideas ★

During a laundry round while home alone you find some ..'used' items of Daryl's to fuck yourself with and now have to work through the concequences.

Girlfriend

Daryl is in a sucky relationship but doesn't see it at first. Reader helps him see and later shows him how a good partnership works.

Hunters Ink

One tattoo leads to many more when you fall head over heels with the artist.

Creep (modern AU)

Finding an apartment in this new town was easy, but now you needed a job.

Daisy chains

Daryl gets separated after the prison attack. He comes across a home for him and his kid to hole up in. Your home.

Beef

Requested : "Could you do a Daryl x reader where at first he doesn’t like her, and she tries to get to know why hes so mean to her? Maybe he yells at her and then some comfort after?"

Rough times

Requested: Hi! Would you be willing to maybe do a one shot with Daryl x reader in a pre established relationship but the reader is pregnant with a child that doesn't belong to him and she isn't proud of? (non-con if you're comfortable with that) Some angst about the reader being worried he won't love her once he finds out 👀

The fun has just begun

Two men snatch you away for some fun. Before they even get anywhere you and Daryl have turned the tables and have some fun of your own. CW: Torture

Forest Guardian

You plan a week long vacation to a luxury cabin. Luxury is nowhere near what you find.

Not your usual undead (Vampire AU)

Which undead do you choose? The ones outside, or the one in front of you?

Drabbles

Period cramp relief

Photographer Daryl

Different kinds of sex w/ Daryl

You needed Daryl for something

"Hey buddy, what are you doing here?"

"Carol gave me some cookies to share!"

Rick and Daryl go out on a run

Old man Daryl

Showing Daryl how beautiful he is ★

Worshipping Daryl's worn body

🐺Were!Daryl 🦊Were!Reader

🐺Series🐺

Shared interests [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] ★

Grimes!reader. Your father shares information about the man he considers his brother in support of your interests. Those interests take a different turn than he expected..

🐺Multichapters🐺

🐺Monsters among us [Pt.1] [Pt.2]

Your water breaks in the middle of nowhere but you find the prison in time for them to help you. There you meet the man of your nightmares. CW: childbirth

🐺🦊Feral for you [Pt.1] [Pt.2★]

Request. Daryl develops a crush on a soft and sweet lady, afraid to ask you out and ruin your sweetness, only to learn later on your have a feral side as well,

🐺Oneshots🐺

🐺 His girls (xOFCs)

Alexandria's new residents find a dog. And his very handsome owner.

🐺Full moon meetings

You get stuck in the woods, surrounded by walkers and are saved by ..something.

🐺Night shifts

During a night shift with Rick he sends you to investigate movement in the woods, knowing it would end with two of his group members coming home together.

🐺Dog person ★

You’re Dog’s new favorite human and Daryl gets jealous. Lucky for him you’re also good with his dog-side.

🐺Creature Feature ★

After overhearing your spilled dirty little secret of old world fantasies, Daryl suddenly feels like he does have a chance to get you into bed with him.

🐺Unexpected

This can be read as a continuation of Dog Person. Reader is pregnant with Daryl’s pups and has to hide it from the community until they can leave for Daryl’s cabin. CW: childbirth

🐺Roses for the ones left behind

Daryl gets taken and leaves a pregnant reader, not knowing her child and partner aren’t human. CW: childbirth

🐺New comforts ★ alt. ending ★

No one needed to know that sex between the two of you was for human Daryl only. Alt.: Rick now knows.

🐺Witch hunt

Thanks to an emotional slip-up you almost risk your home in Alexandria.

🐺Arrows & Rags

You help a wounded creature who leads you back to its den, where you find the one person you thought you had lost in the walker attack.

🐺Why didn't you tell me?

You follow Daryl into the woods on the one night he asked you to stay away.

🐺🦊The softer the skin, the sharper the teeth

Request. WereDaryl and Glen find a she wolf (in human form) out and talk to her about coming to the prison. She and Daryl are mates

🐺 Shame

Your most private moments are shared with the intent to drive you away. And it amost worked.

🐺 Not a monster

Request. Beauty and the Beast inspired fic. Set during Alexandria times.

🐺 Domesticated

Request. Cuddling in bed, like mundane little moments in their relationship

🐺 Bath time

Daryl's distaste for showers rubbed off on his children.

🐺 Forbidden ★

Strickt parents and werewolves don't mix, so you run.

🐺🦊 Found

Daryl finds a young girl and takes her home. He adopts her and learns she's a wolf too.

🐺 Savior ★

You show a little too much interest in Negan's new prisoner so he uses you as a test subject. CW: Non-con, forced impreg

🐺King of the cage

In the apocalypse, entertainment is hard to come by. Until you hear of underground groups fighting with anything nonhuman.. CW: Descriptive violence and murder.

🐺King and his Queen ★

[KING series pt.2] After Daryl's match he gets treated like royalty by his loving partner.

🐺Instincts

Daryl finds a woman with her newborn pup, taking them into the group. Slowly their bond grows stronger.

🐺Rules of Nature

Daryl gets hurt on a simple hunting trip and reader patches him up.

🐺Get rid of it

You and Daryl never fought, until you did. Daryl relives old traumas while you stay at Hilltop.

🐺Drabbles🐺

🦊 Daryl was out on a hunt > Daryl liked being around her > Daryl has never been so proud

🐺 Daryl hated full moon these days.

🐺 You, Carol and Daryl go out on a run.

🐺 "Man, 's colder than a witch's tit."

🐺 You and Daryl had a great life.

🐺 Daryl came home early today.

🐺 Daryl saves you

🐺 You were all sitting around the bonfire

🐺 Daryl came home from a run. (xOFCs)

The adventures of Daryl the werewolf and his witch girlfriend.

Inked Sigils. ★

Fate brought you together. Spells finally brought you family

Bored ★

You tagged along with your boyfriend who ‘just needed a minute’, but you were so bored..

Momma's boy ★

You find your boyfriend all alone and desperate in your apartment, so you help him out. Again.

Warm & fuzzy

You just love him. It doesn’t matter what the others think

Much fun indeed ★

A summary of what being with the biker has thought you over time.

Coming soon??

Double Stuffed ★ Daryl/Scud/reader

It's your birthday so you get to have twice the fun!

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zablife · 6 months

Text

It's Over

Tommy x gf reader

Summary: You implore Tommy to stay out of harm’s way, but he has other ideas. Will this be the end of your relationship?

Author’s Note: Written for @little-diable ’s 15K celebration. Congrats, darling! I'm sorry this took me so long! Quote assigned as the prompt: “A leader leads and you can’t ask men to risk death if you’re not willing to risk it yourself" from the Last Kingdom by Bernard Cornwell.

Warnings: angst

When Tommy returned home from the war he made countless promises. He said he wanted to give you the world and it wasn’t hard to believe him, his endless drive making all things seem possible. However, it had been a year since his return and with every new ambition came greater risk, threatening to tear Tommy away from you once more.

Perhaps due to this fear, you held him tightly whenever possible, whispering words of love and devotion he seemed to have forgotten during your time apart. You hoped it would be enough to curb his relentless mind, but Polly warned you it might never be enough.

“He isn’t the same, love. He never really came back from France,” she confided sadly. The ominous words lingered in your head and tortured you with their certainty.

With all your stubbornness and fortitude you assured her, “He came home to me and he’ll always choose me." You kept that faith through all manner of disagreements.

Last night there had been another row over his plans and you expected Tommy to storm out, but true to your words he stayed with you. Wrapping him in your arms, he fell asleep on your chest and you sighed in contentment. You hardly noticed when the sun rose, beckoning him away from you and toward the danger that awaited him.

Tommy looked down at your sleeping form, watching your chest rise and fall peacefully. For a moment he considered leaving you that way. He wasn't prepared for a goodbye that could be his last. However, something held him there. A feeling which tugged at his heart when you stirred slightly, eyes fluttering open momentarily to smile at him with hopeful radiance.

“It’s time for me to go, love,” Tommy explained quietly, brushing his lips against your forehead in a tender kiss. Your smile soon fell away as you realized he hadn’t changed his mind about the attack on Kimber. You instantly sat up to reach for him, clutching at his arm.

“Don’t do this, Tommy,” you pleaded, eyes filling with hot tears.

He only turned away from your desperate gaze, a dark shadow falling over his brow. “I have to, Y/n,” he replied firmly as his cold hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt.

“But why? Talk to me,” you begged, needing to understand why he was needlessly placing himself in harm’s way.

Tommy shook his head as he stared at a spot on the wall. “You know too much already,” he sighed, wishing he’d left you sleeping. In times like these he was reminded he was no good for you, a liability to your safety and well being. Suddenly he regretted falling into your arms for comfort at every chance. Frustrated with himself for his weakness, he swiped his boots from under the bed and headed for the door.

You scrambled to follow him, bedsheet wrapped around you as you called after him. “Nothing ever stops you from leaving, does it?” you lamented, placing yourself between him and the door.

Tommy hung his head as he exhaled a deep breath.

“Tommy, look at me,” you implored, placing a hand to the side of his face. Your fingertips skated over his morning stubble as he finally looked into your eyes, longing and regret swirling in his bright blue irises. “Tell me why it has to be you. You have more than enough soldiers now who are willing to die for you. Why can’t you give the order and stay where it’s safe?,” you persisted.

Tommy placed a hand over yours, brow furrowed as he shook his head gently. “I couldn’t live with myself if I did that. A leader leads and you can’t ask men to risk death if you’re not willing to risk it yourself.”

“But you can leave me with nothing and no one?” you argued. "Are you intent on breaking my heart?" you asked, feeling the tears escape your lash line and wash down your cheeks. You pulled away to swipe at them angrily with the backs of your hands as you awaited his reply.

Tommy ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the long strands on top as he realized the untenable situation. The powerlessness he felt turned to bitterness on his tongue. You noticed the icy look in his eye before he ever uttered his final words to you. “I’ll only hurt you if you let me. So perhaps it's time you let me go,” he uttered before turning to leave. The door slammed behind him, rattling the frames on the wall and you slumped to the floor in despair. Your heartbeat echoed in your ears, “It’s over, it’s over.”

---------------

Tag List:

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@runnning-outof-time

@dandelionprints

@look-at-the-soul

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@l1-l4

@kmhappybunny240

#Peaky Blinders fanfic #Peaky Blinders imagine #Tommy Shelby x you #Tommy Shelby x y/n #Tommy Shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #Cillian Murphy

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shuahoonie · 1 year

Text

my home | joshua hong

pairing: joshua (svt) x gn!reader

notes: tooth-aching fluff, swearing, established relationship, pet names, a drop of angst, platonic!svt x reader, and a clingy joshua hong.

words count: 1.4k

summary: the members can always rely on joshua whenever they feel down and tired. thankfully, joshua has you in his life to fall back on.

shuahoonie's masterlist

"hi joshy, you okay?" you called from the other line. you had the phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder as you tried to sort out the papers that you still need to annotate.

you received a text from joshua asking if you were awake while you were trying to write your research paper. knowing that he probably just finished rehearsals, you’ve decided to call your boyfriend instead.

“what happened to baby?” joshua asked from the other line.

“what do you mean?” you asked, confused.

“i’m just joshy now to you?” you could feel the pout forming in his lips, making you roll your eyes and laugh at how childish your boyfriend is being.

“i fucking hate you,” you laughed as you took a hold of your phone, choosing to leave the papers for next morning.

“first it was joshy, now you hate me?” joshua whined jokingly “are you trying to break up with me?”

“did you just get back from practice?” you asked, choosing to drop whatever this banter you’ve managed to create.

“yeah,” joshua hummed softly. “they made us stay for an extra hour than they usually do, since the comeback date is almost in sight.”

“have you eaten yet?” you asked, already on your way to the kitchen to pack left over kimchi stew that your mom made while she was in your apartment earlier. maybe your mom knew you were going to give some to the boys— either way, you’re still thankful.

“no, but i’ll probably just sleep it off.” he mumbled from the other line. “‘m too tired to cook.”

“ya!” you yelled from the other line. “i’m already on my way to bring you food. just stay put!” the persistence in your tone was evident.

you were rushing to put everything in a tote bag so you can be on your way. you didn’t even bother to change out from your pyjamas and decided to just throw on a jacket instead.

“it’s already late, angel.” joshua laughed at how insistent you were. he knew early on that there’s no way of stopping you. “and what about your paper?”

“i’ll drive, don’t worry! i’ll be there in 15.” you said, already on your way to your car. “besides, i’m not in the mood to write it anymore, i’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

“angel, you have to be careful, okay?” you heard joshua say. “you’re not actually the best driver.” he was joking. kinda.

“at night,” you added but all you heard was an unconvinced hum from your boyfriend. “shuji!” you gasped.

“okay, drive carefully, angel! can’t use your phone while driving!” joshua stated, urging you to end the call before you can even respond.

you’ve learned to be careful around joshua—seeing that dating someone with a huge following will never be easy. so at times when he would need a pick me up, you’re willing to drop everything for him. much like what he does for you.

but you’ve learned to live with it, cope with it, and accept it. because you could never ask for someone better than your joshuji.

you sent a quick text to joshua, saying you’ve arrived. as soon as you reached his floor, he was already waiting in the hall for you— arms spread out, waiting for you to tackle him into a hug.

and you do. you’ll always give him the biggest hug— even if you’re carrying a heavy tote bag with a large container of stew. “i’ve missed you, shuji.” you sighed as your buried your face on the crook of his neck.

“where’s yn? i was promised food.” seungcheol peers into the hallway, popping out of nowhere. he saw the fairly large bag that you’re carrying and saw the stew inside. “kimchi jjigae! this is perfect!”

“you brat,” you squinted your eyes at him. “that’s for my boyfriend!”

“yn, there’s enough to feed more than 10 people here!” seungcheol groaned. “your boyfriend doesn’t even eat that much!”

“i packed that much because i knew if i only packed a small serving, joshua would still let the members have it even though he’s hungry.” you pointed out, giving joshua a side eye.

“it’s nice to know that you think of us when it comes to packing food,” cheol sarcastically said.

“okay, that’s enough,” joshua laughed. “let’s go inside, i’ll text the other members if they’re up for food.”

the dorm became lively again. the rest of the members came with glee in their eyes, even though they’re visibly tired. they welcomed you with warm hugs and overwhelming gratitude. it was times like these that you were grateful how far your friendship with them has taken you.

the members were gathered in the table, each having their own conversations. joshua was just watching them with a smile on his face, quietly observing them.

“okay, baby, you have to eat.” you said as you served him a bowl of stew a small portion of rice.

“you didn’t have to do any of this angel,” joshua said softly, looking up at you with kind eyes. he felt bad that you had to ditch writing your paper but he knew there was no way of stopping you from getting what you want.

“i know,” you said, caressing joshua’s face. “but i wanted to.” joshua looked up at you with a loving smile, leaning back as you stood behind his chair.

“i wish joshua gave me that look,” hoshi pouts before stuffing his mouth full of stew, making the group laugh.

joshua was still resting his head on your torso, eyes closed and definitely not eating.

“joshua hong, i practically ran over 2 red lights so i can bring you food. you have to eat.” you scolded him.

joshua groaned, not even bothering to do so. instead, he grabbed both your arms and wrapped them around him.

“ynnie, 2 red lights?” dk asked as if you’ve grown two heads “wah, i’m still surprised how you got your license.” dk joked making you stick your tongue out at him.

“hey, at least i’m not as bad as soonyoung!” you said in defence, pouting.

“yah! i’m not a bad driver!” hoshi argued.

“soonie, i saw how hard jihoon was holding on to the grab handles the one time i asked you to drive my car.”

joshua laughed at your counter argument, making you direct your attention back at him. “yah! do you want me to feed you, hong jisoo? i told you to eat and quit skipping your meals.”

“ooh, they’re mad now.” dino commented quietly “they called hyung by his korean name.” the group snickered, making you throw daggers at them.

“i don’t need to eat, angel,” joshua coos “just having you here by my side is enough to fill my appetite.”

joshua’s cheesy comment made the entire group groan in disgust, including you. he, on the other hand, found it hilarious. joshua knew how much they hate it when he spews out corny shit like that.

“i think i just lost my appetite,” seungkwan mumbled, dropping his utensils. a mutter of agreements passed around the table, urging them to clear the table faster.

in just a matter of a few minutes, you and joshua were left alone in the kitchen as the rest of the members gathered in the living room to give you two some space.

“i thought they’d never leave,” joshua sighed in content as he urged you to sit beside him, pulling your chair closer to him. “i missed you, angel.”

“did you have to make a cheesy comment like that?”

“if i didn’t, they will never leave us alone.” joshua pouts at your incredulous look. he knew you hated cheesy comments even before you two started dating. “the members love you a lot and i don’t have the energy to compete for your attention.”

joshua’s childish yet understandable comment makes you laugh. “joshua hong, when did you get so clingy?”

“why do you keep calling me by my full name?” joshua whined. “did i do something i wasn’t aware of? am i not worthy of being your baby?”

“no,” you laughed “but it’s adorable that you’re that serious over a pet name.”

“angel, we’ve been dating for over a year now. you know how serious i can be over things like these.” joshua pouts, making you pinch his cheeks.

“you’re cute,” you giggled.

“i know,” joshua gave you a toothy smile.

“now eat,” you deadpanned.

BONUS: the adventures of you and shuji

just had to write this lil brain rot because i miss joshua 😪

#joshua hong x reader #joshua hong scenarios #joshua hong fluff #joshua hong imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x you #svt x you #svt imagines #joshua hong fic #svt fluff #svt x reader #svt joshua #joshua hong #joshua hong fanfic #shuahoonie writes

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autumnmobile12 · 10 days

Text

Helluva Boss S2 Trailer: “You don’t love mother and you don’t love me!”

I have a problem with this line, and I’ve had a problem with Octavia’s character for awhile now, so I’m going to talk about it.

To cut her some slack, her house and family life is a mess. Fighting parents, cheating dad, feeling neglected by both parents, and she’s a teenager on top of that. I get it. Moody, angsty teen with a really good reason for being moody and angsty.

And Stolas isn’t blameless in all this. With the cheating, he’s actively a problem, but we can see that he loves his ‘little owlet.’ But he is a terrible father. In the Seeing Stars episode, I thought that it was going to be a lot more Stolas and Octavia-centric on their relationship, but no. He and Blitzo spend most of the time looking for her just dicking around in some human comedy act when they really didn’t need to be there. Seriously, it wouldn’t have been the first time Blitzo massacred a group of humans to get out of an awkward situation, but if Stolas is so concerned about his daughter, then why didn't he do something about their situation? If he loves his daughter so much, why is he okay with this distraction? He's not even the one who gets him out of it in the end. That was the first time Helluva Boss actually disappointed me. I don’t think the brief bit of backstory we got with Blitzo and Loona justified the rest of that whole bit, so it was really pointless. That piece could have been handled better.

Throughout the Stolitz ship, Stolas is 100% ignoring Octavia. But terrible dad aside, the line from the Season 2 trailer, “You don’t love Mother and you don’t love me!” should be emotional.

Except…. “You don’t love Mother….”

…why would he?

Does Octavia not see what a violent, toxic bitch her mom is? She has seen her screaming, getting violent, and throwing things. I suppose Octavia could have the opinion that Stella's anger is justified with the cheating and all, but then that explanation implies she thinks reacting violently like that is acceptable behavior. And let’s not forget Stella straight up ordered a hit on Stolas, which nearly succeeded. Does Octavia not know about this? Again, Stolas being a terrible dad for not taking steps to get the daughter he supposedly loves away from the psycho who ordered an assassination, but did none of this get back to Octavia?

Not that any of it makes Stolas' infidelity okay. If you're unhappy in a relationship, leave it. But with the way Stella behaves, there's no rational way Octavia can expect her parents to love each other. It sucks to be the child in that position, especially a teen still figuring things out, but that is very much an 'it is what it is' situation and you gotta make the best of it in whatever way you can.

As it stands, it isn't fair for Octavia to entirely blame Stolas for their family falling apart.

"You don't love mother and you don't love me," makes it sound like Octavia is consciously choosing her violent, narcissistic witch of mother over her dad. This also doesn't make sense with the plot because there's no sign of Octavia having a close relationship with her mom. There are no portraits of them together in a loving embrace as we see with her and Stolas. Plus, Stella doesn't care about Octavia. The only two times in the show she vaguely mentions her is as the 'one egg that finally dropped out of her' and when she and Andrealphus are discussing the inheritance that will go to Octavia. She doesn't care about Stolas either. The only effect the cheating had on her was the idea of public embarrassment for their family.

Neither of Octavia's parents care for her the way they should, so for the, "You don't love mother and you don't love me," line to work to its fullest impact, it should have been phrased as, “You don’t love me! Neither you or Mom love me!”

I do love Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel…but Octavia’s character is really poorly handled. I remember it being said in an interview that Helluva Boss does have heavier focus on its male characters while Hazbin Hotel was supposed to be more female-centric, but when it comes to Octavia, that structure in the storytelling is crumbling under its own weight. There is a story here and it has some major gaps that need addressing.

To give them some benefit of doubt, maybe this’ll be addressed in an episode before that line hits, so maybe it’ll make more sense. Or they could make it clear she said it out of anger. At least, I hope so because I really need some righteous retribution for how Stolas behaves with his daughter.

...

Edit for clarity: The point of this post is a criticism of the lack of story we get for Octavia that justifies her motives, not a criticism of why she herself behaves the way that she does. The dysfunctional family is heavy stuff and since it is a front and center issue with Stolas' background, it needs more attention than the series gives it.

#helluva boss #octavia #stolas #stella #blitzo #stolitz #season 2 #criticism #vivziepop #18+ series

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fifteenminutes-if · 1 year

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Screaming fans. Blinding stage lights. A multitude of camera flashes.

It's all you've ever wanted. It's all you've ever worked for.

So where did you go wrong?

You were always told you had the X factor.

Something indescribable. Something exceptional.

Perhaps you doubted the truth to those words when you took in your rag-tag group of bandmates in your high school music room. But, your first performance together–for a crowd–was electric.

And you've been pursuing that same feeling ever since.

Now, with a recording contract, a debut album, an EP, and a #1 Billboard hit under your belt, your band is gearing up for the biggest album release of the year. With major publicity and curiosity from fans and critics alike, you can feel the potential thrumming beneath your skin. You're on the edge of a precipice. You're going to be a star.

Until the shocking truth hits the tabloids and–eventually–major news outlets.

Your career falls apart before you in a matter of days.

Your manager resigns, the media turns against you, your fans wage war against each other as lines are drawn in the sands of stardom.

You become a pariah.

How will you rebuild your legacy, and what will you sacrifice to reach the top once again?

Fifteen Minutes follows an artist in the music industry who is on the cusp of a meteoric rise in fame until a leaked scandal lands their reputation in the grave. A story about the ugly underbelly of fame, our glaring mortality, and the way love fails to save us from ourselves. Rated 18+ for explicit language, substance use (and abuse), death, sexual content, and mild violence.

Choose the scandal that ruins your character's career!

Customize your superstar's pronouns, gender, name, stage name, appearance, celebrity persona, their engagement with their fanbase, and more.

Make choices that affect public perception, headlines and the media narrative.

Create your character's previous and future discography, including choosing the genre(s) your character commands and their musical influences.

Deal with the aftermath of a career in ruins and decide on its trajectory/how your character rebuilds their tarnished reputation (if they choose to do so at all).

Romance (or befriend) a colourful cast of characters–all with varying degrees of proximity to fame and obscurity.

[THE PUBLICITY STUNT ◦ primary RO] MADDOX, 27, M/F An internationally beloved megastar with a media target on their back. A long trail of broken hearts and sordid deeds follow them, but their talent overshadows their attitude enough for those in the industry to turn the other way. For now. Caustic, jaded, and charismatic enough to get exactly what they want. Fresh out of a public breakup, they're acting out more than ever and the bitter taste of fame in their mouth might just kill them faster than their long list of enemies. RO Routes: FWB PR relationship or PR relationship with feelings involved. (Engaging in a PR relationship with Maddox is a mandatory plot point, but does not prevent MC from engaging in romance with other characters)

[THE INDUSTRY SWEETHEART ◦ primary RO] CARMEN BAILEY, 30, F ◦ she/her The antithesis to MC—a pop star that rose to fame in her teen years and has maintained relevancy well into her late twenties. Carmen Bailey is the golden girl. Gracious, kind, and praised for being family-friendly yet edgy enough to capture both old and young demographics alike, Carmen holds tightly to her image at the cost of everything else in her life. Sometimes, it's difficult to tell whether Carmen herself knows the difference between her image and herself.

[THE RECLUSIVE SOCIALITE ◦ primary RO] MATEO EL AMRANI, 25, M ◦ he/him Born to a wealthy, legendary family within the heart of Hollywood, Mateo shuns the limelight that comes with his heritage at any given opportunity. Unfortunately, the mystery surrounding him keeps the cameras and the public intrigued and hungry. Only close with his oldest brother, Elias, and has a strained relationship with the rest of his family. Often seen as quiet and emotionless by the media, Mateo in reality feels very deeply and desperately wants to know and be known by those he loves. RO Routes: Ex-friends, ex-lovers, or just acquaintances.

[THE JOURNALIST ◦ primary RO] ROBIN FRASER, 32, M/F A shrewd investigative journalist with the ability to destroy a career or launch someone into stardom. Has a history of major exposés and reliable pop culture predictions under their belt. Needless to say, their words hold a whole lot of power. They value truth above all else, no matter how ugly it may be and while they're privy to the manipulations and machinations of the upper echelons, they're not willing to play the game.

[THE EX BAND MEMBER ◦ primary RO] VAL PARK, 24, M/F A whirlwind of a person that has taken Hollywood by storm since their abrupt departure from your life. Ambitious with a cutting tongue, Val is persistent in their chase for fame. Tends to be reckless, hot-headed, and easily provoked with a deep need for independence and creative freedom. While they're not everyone's cup of tea, they've charmed the right people to gain entry into opportunities that you've only dreamed of. RO Routes: Ex-rivals or ex-friends (can opt to have had a crush on Val in the past). Val was in love with MC in both routes.

DEMO TBA

#fifteen minutes if #if intro #interactive fiction #romance #fame #drama

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gingergofastboatsmojito · 2 months

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The Sydcarmy dynamic

I just had this chat with OOMF and whilst I've been posting about Carmy because it's easier for me to get into his headspace, I never really went over their dynamic before here. I definitely have in my fics and while watching and re-watching the show for the past 3 months. Because that's how long it's been since I discovered The Bear, 3 months only, I started watching it on New Year's Eve while I was getting dressed to go to this party and by January 1st I had finished S2. That's what this show did to my head.

So, let's get into it!

From my perspective, the Sydcarmy choreography is the following:

The real Carmy is this aloof guy who only REALLY listens to Syd when she's distressed. And only then he gets his shit together for her.

He pushes all her buttons first (when he's the distressed one, he shuts down, he changes the rules).

And only then he behaves for a while, to get on her good side again. But then the real Carmy strikes again. And it’s an endless cycle of push and pull.

However, Syd secretly enjoys this because she sees this as:

"Awww he’s willing to change for me, for us ❤️".

“He’s shitty but he’s also trying and imma help him! Awww”.

And she’s right. He is trying and he can certainly be shitty.

And he is changing because of her, because of them. That's his arc.

And he pays her back by being the only person other than her father with whom she can be her vulnerable self.

She doesn’t allow herself to be truly vulnerable with anyone else.

She can let go of her G Woman mask in front of him knowing that he will never use that against her. Ever. That’s why they help each other.

They support each other in this journey of him being less shitty and she being more vulnerable. That is what makes them stronger. They are stronger together and that is why things fall apart when they are not together and that is why they will keep coming back to each other no matter how far apart they drift at different points of this journey. They will always gravitate towards one another because they "existentially" need and choose each other to grow. They basically push each other in the right direction. That is why they acknowledged that they make each other better. They are finally getting themselves to admit it! YAY! That's progress.

Their relationship is not based on love, respect, or even friendship but on trust. The rest comes later for them, as a consequence of the latter.

That’s why they are loyal to each other and when Claire was around Syd felt betrayed.

It wasn't jealousy. Not all of it, it was more than that.

It was loyalty, territorial loyalty.

She doesn’t wanna share because that threatens his loyalty, not necessarily because she’s jealous of Claire. She also feels jealousy, yes, but not consciously, anyway... because she is nowhere ready to admit yet that she has feelings for Carmy in a way a business partner shouldn't. She's not there yet. And he has recently gotten to that point, after the panic attack. So, basically, they are not there yet. I go over that here.

What Syd didn't know and it's a game changer, btw, was that Carmy was never “loyal” to Claire. He was just with Claire as a sublimation. Let me explain:

He was projecting. All the things he didn't allow himself to feel or do with Syd, he was projecting onto Claire.

That’s why at first he was reticent but when he realized he could do this with Claire, he was game! And finally, let Claire in. She had to fight her way in, he wasn't necessarily inviting at first. We all know how that turned out though... Not his brightest moment.

Now Carmy is ahead of the curve, compared to Sydney. He already had his realization/Eureka! moments during and post-panic attack and the walk-in moment, both catalytic.

Syd on the other hand, has a longer way to go in terms of self-awareness. That's why on the surface she seems to be keeping things more together. She is, for now. But she will have her walk-in moment too or some kind of trigger that will force her to deal with what she's been burying under a pile of excuses and rationalizations that serve her status-quo purposes, as mere defense mechanisms. Because the change will not come willingly, it will be forced and it probably won't be pretty.

They have that in common and it's also part of their dynamic → Taking things to a breaking point before moving forward, before LETTING IT RIP.

#sydcarmy #the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #syd x carmen #carmy berzatto #carmy x sydney #sydney adamu #GINGERPOVS #the bear meta

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piperholmes · 2 months

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I wasn’t planning on writing anything about Chenford because I’m not trying to start an argument (not that I expected many will read this any way 🤣), but I have a lot of thoughts jumbled up. I think it would be helpful for me to just get them down, so I am better able to absorb what has been shared by others. I love a good discussion! Especially one centered around some form of literature.

(If you are reading this, then just let me preface with this is me really just free writing what’s going through my head. I definitely am not telling anyone else how to feel, react, or process this storyline—nor do I expect anyone to agree with my ramblings.)

For me, I think a major issue I have is with the breakup trope itself—particularly the “I’m not good enough for you, so I can’t be with you” trope. In my experience, this argument usually comes from the male character in a relationship. Romance novels are riddled with this set up; I’ve seen it in films and television plenty of times. It almost always comes from the guy. (And I acknowledge the majority of media I consume is M/F romance). The problem I have reconciling this concept is because it feels like this happens because the guy in the relationship feels comfortable and is willing to make the decision for both of them, and is often unwilling to listen to his partner’s thoughts or feelings. There is something inherently misogynistic in that, and it has never sat well with me.

I thought a lot about why Tim was upset about the 5 player trade, and while I don’t think the show did a particularly good job of explaining it, I think it boils down to the fact that Lucy made a decision about Tim’s life without talking to him about it. Even though it came from a sincere, caring place and had (for Tim at least) a positive outcome, it wasn’t right for her to make that decision on her own. If the argument is being made that Tim is walking away from their relationship because he feels (right or wrong) it’s best for Lucy, it just seems odd to me that Tim would choose to (essentially) do the same thing to Lucy after it was so upsetting to him.

Now, was Tim in a heightened emotional state? Absolutely. Does that impact a person’s reasoning? 100% But I think where this situation breaks with what has been established, is Tim’s choice to just walk away without discussion. Something that made me fall in love with Chenford in the first place was Tim’s willingness to listen to Lucy even when he was emotionally struggling. Outside Isabel’s apartment with the drugs, when she got on to him about being pissed over the report following the virus scare, his later acknowledgment over his behavior in the pilot with the Hispanic gentleman, and so on. To have Tim just walk away from her communicates one of two things: either he was willing to make the decision but wasn’t willing to deal with the consequences or he was so convinced he was right, he wasn’t interested in what Lucy would have to say. Neither are a particularly good look for Tim, and, again, why I just don’t really like this trope. (I would be saying the same thing about Lucy if she were the one doing this-in fact, I think she seriously mishandled her break up with Chris, but I definitely wasn’t emotionally invested in their relationship. So, sorry Chris; you don’t get a post 🤣).

Another aspect of the trope I find ridiculous is how it should essentially impact all relationships this character has; if Tim isn’t good enough to be with Lucy as a romantic partner then he should feel that way about being a friend to Lopez, a brother to Genny, an uncle to her kids, and so on. Otherwise, to isolate this feeling to specifically the romantic partner is just…weird? “I’m going to end our relationship because you deserve better, but just you. I’m going to keep all my other relationships.” Like, I don’t know, that just feels super icky. And, based on the preview for the next new episode, it definitely seems like Tim is going to spiral into pushing people away/isolating, but where is the line drawn? What if Tim had a kid? (And I know hypotheticals are probably not the best here, but I warned this would be meandering 🤪) Would he walk away from his own kid because he didn’t feel good enough? That definitely doesn’t make sense to me, but, again, it just highlights the pitfalls I run into with the trope itself and why I cringe when it is used. My view of Tim—and by extension Chenford—is now informed by what I see as the implications of the trope.

It’s incredibly off putting that now Tim and Lucy’s parents (oh, gosh, and I just realized, even Nolan) essentially fall into the same category. Do you think Lucy’s parents were so dismissive of her wants and hurtful because they hated her or didn’t love her? I am 100% sure it’s because they thought they were loving her. It doesn’t make it right or healthy, but I’m sure they thought they were doing what was best for Lucy. And John made the decision to end their relationship to “protect” Lucy, and I remember thinking the same thing about him that I think about Tim now. I really thought Tim was different and understood what Lucy had been through in her life, and, ultimately at this point, makes me question how I feel about Chenford overall.

I also want to say that I don’t begrudge Tim acknowledging something in him that wants to change and be better (openly encourage such self reflection and growth in fact). I’m also (pretty) sure this will ultimately lead back to then getting back together, and maybe even Tim being a better partner. I’m simply saying that using this particular trope in order to facilitate that doesn’t vibe with what I believe the show has established about Chenford, and it would have been very interesting (and, for me, preferable) to see how they could have told that story avoiding this cliche. That’s all.

Ok, if anybody made it this far, thanks for sticking with it. I’m always open and interested in differing perspectives and interpretations, and nothing I’ve said is my set-in-stone opinion, just my current opinion 😜.

#chenford #Tim Bradford #Lucy Chen #I guess what I’m saying is #that Lucy Chen should be protected #at all costs #I just never thought that would include #being protected from Tim Bradford #🤷🏼‍♀️

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