#she can barely stand steve touching her afterward

[queerbird]

Been pondering on a Nancy Wheeler who's asexual due to the trauma of Barb dying while she was sleeping with Steve...

[just-dreaming-marvel]

The Sniffles

MAIN MASTERLIST / CHRONIC ILLNESS MASTERLIST

Tony Stark x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2,765ish

Summary: You get sick which causes your arthritis to flare up. Tony is there to help you.

Notes: I literally cried while writing this because I was immobile just a few days ago because of my arthritis and getting sick at the same time. I also cried because I long to find a love that could care for me through my chronic illness. Unfortunately, because it's not visible, people don't believe me or end up growing tired of the issues. I can only hope that anyone who feels alone in their issues, finds this fic and finds some solace.

You groaned as you began to wake for the day. You winced as you swallowed, noting that your throat felt a bit raw. Taking a quick body inventory, you noticed that you had a slight headache and that your joints had a slight ache. You rolled over onto your side but quickly realized that was a mistake and sat up. 

“Excuse me, Miss,” FRIDAY’s voice rang throughout your room. “But you have a mission briefing in ten.”

“Shit,” you muttered. “Thanks, FRI.”

“My sensors are picking up elevated internal levels from you, Miss. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I just need my arthritis meds and cold medicine.”

“Both can be found in the medicine cabinet in your bathroom.”

“Awesome,” you stretched as you stood up. 

You clenched your jaw as you slowly began to move through the pain. Once you got moving for a bit, you were able to handle it. You found the needed pills and took the water bottle from your bathroom counter to pour them down. 

As quickly as you could, you found an outfit for the day and headed to the conference room. You were the last one to arrive but you technically weren’t late. You found the empty seat towards the back, next to Tony. He shot you a smile with you returned it before the two of you focused on Steve.

The mission briefing wasn’t long as the Team was supposed to go on a routine mission later that day. Afterward, you all made your way to the common room. You began to make yourself a smoothie, hoping that you could stay clear of this cold before it got worse. As you worked, you coughed slightly and cleared your throat.

“Do you have the sniffles?” Tony asked, suddenly appearing beside you.

“Holy shit, Tony!” You exclaimed, having jumped.

“I don’t want to get sick.”

“I’m fine, other than you almost giving me a heart attack.” You coughed lightly into your sleeve. 

“I need you to wear a surgical mask until you’re feeling better. Is that okay?”

“Seriously Tony?”

He pulled his shirt over his nose and mouth, stepping closer to you. His hand lifted and he used the back of it to feel your face. “You feel—“

“Fine,” you pushed his hand away. “I feel fine.”

“A bit warm.”

“Maybe because I’m growing angry at you.”

He put both his hands up as he stepped back. “I’m just trying to help, sweetheart.”

You scoffed. “Then finish making my smoothie for me.”

“Oh, no. I will not be touching anything you’ve touched for a least a week. Speaking of which, I need to go sanitize.”

“Germophobe!” You shouted after him as he disappeared.

“You two are adorable,” Natasha commented from her spot on the kitchen island. You rolled your eyes. “Maybe you getting sick will finally cause him to make a move.” She smirked over her coffee. 

“That’s hilarious, Nat since he clearly can’t stand being around me with a barely there cough and a sore throat.”

“I’m just saying, maybe letting yourself get sick would be a good experiment.”

You sighed. Tony and you had been dancing around feelings for about a year now. The two of you were publicly flirtatious and often shared loving looks and touches. Neither of you were brave enough to fully act on anything though, leaving you both in this weird limbo.

“You’re forgetting, Nat, me getting sick is not a good experiment. My arthritis wouldn’t like that.”

“Yes, but then you’d get a chance to see if Tony would step in and take care of you.”

“Yeah, well, not a chance I’m willing to take.”

~~~

The mission was routine with a few Hydra thugs causing a bit of a problem. You tried to bite back the limp that your right hip and knee so badly wanted to show as you entered the quinjet. You practically collapsed into one of the bench seats. Tony entered, still in full Iron Man suit, and quickly came to your side.

“Are you alright?” He asked. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m—“ you cut yourself off with a cough “—fine.”

“FRIDAY, give me a reading.”

“It seems like Agent Y/N is showing signs of a strong cold,” the AI responded.

“See? I told you that you were sick.”

“I’m fine,” you repeated. “The mission wore me out. My arthritis is acting up.”

“You didn’t think to tell anyone about your arthritis acting up?”

“Tony, I just need sleep.” 

Even with his face hidden behind the mask, you knew that Tony’s mouth was set in a thin line and that his jaw was clenched. He moved so that he was sitting beside you and pulled you into him.

“It’s a bit of a flight home,” he told you. “Rest and then we can fight about this more.”

You moved so that your head was resting on his armored thigh. With a closed-mouth cough, you shut your eyes and fell asleep. Tony kept a hand on your arm and gently on your head to keep you in place. He kept his eyes on the monitors in his mask, where FRIDAY was constantly updating him on your stats. He was growing angry at himself for not having you sit out on the mission and for not noticing that your arthritis was flaring up.

When the quinjet landed, you were still completely passed out and Tony didn’t want to chance your arthritis making walking difficult. As carefully as he could while still in the Iron Man suit, he lifted you into his arms and headed for your room. Natasha smirked as she watched from where she and Steve were sitting in the quinjet.

“And so the experiment begins.”

~~~

There was a sob already in your throat the moment you woke. You could barely let it out as your throat was so incredibly sore. Tears slipped through your closed eyes as it set in on how on fire your joints were. You were in so much pain that you wouldn’t dare try to move, which was saying something since you often fought through the joint pain.

“Agent Y/N,” FRIDAY softly broke through your room. “Do you need help?”

“Yes,” you replied before you could even think about it. “Please.”

The quick footsteps you heard down the hall singled to you who was on their way. Your door swung open and Tony was quickly at your side.

“FRIDAY said you needed help,” he said. “What can I do?”

“It hurts,” you cried. “Everything hurts.” You coughed, the tears falling harder at the movements.

“I’ll call a med team. We’ll have you moved—“

“No! No movements. Please… I can’t handle it.”

Tony looked you over. There was sweat forming on various parts of your body, mixing in with your tears. Your muscles were tense and your eyes clenched shut. Tony had seen you during an arthritic flare-up, but this was something else.

“FRIDAY? I need a diagnosis and what to do,” Tony demanded.

“It seems that Y/N has the flu with an arthritic flare-up on top of it,” the AI responded. “I have ordered an IV to be brought up with the needed medications and liquids.”

“Okay… Okay… Y/N, sweetheart, what can I do?”

“I don’t know,” you cried. “It just hurts.”

“I know, I know, sweetheart. FRIDAY is sending stuff up. It’ll be here soon.” 

Tony’s heart was breaking at the pain you were in. His hands hovered over you, hating that they couldn’t be of use. Tony knew from previous experience that physical touch could make your flare-up worse and he didn’t want to chance that.

“FRIDAY had me bring these up,” Bruce stated as he came into the room with a bin of items. “Hey, Y/N,” he greeted softly once he reached you. “I’m going to put an IV in so that we can get some medicine and liquids in you.”

“No,” you whimpered. “Please, no… it’ll hurt…”

“Only for a second. I promise.”

“No… No… No—“

“I’ll be right here,” Tony said, one of his hands quickly taking yours. His other hand resting on your head, his thumb rubbing against your forehead. “I’m right here.”

“Tony…”

“Sshhh… It’s okay.”

“Alright, Y/N, I’m going to put in the IV needle,” Bruce stated.

You began crying harder, which triggered your coughing. Tony tried to soothe you through it while Bruce waited. You were still crying as the cough died.

“I’m right here,” Tony whispered, lips brushing against your forehead. He pressed kisses through the whispers. “I’ve got you… I know it hurts…” 

You whined as Bruce pressed the needle into your arm. “It hurts… stop…”

“I know, I know, honey.” He continued to whisper against your forehead.

Bruce worked as quickly as he could, getting the IV in you and injecting the medication. “Okay, I’m done,” he stated.

“He’s done, sweetheart. You did so good.” Tony turned to the man. “Thank you.”

Bruce nodded. “Let me know if I can get you anything else.” Then he left.

“The medicine shouldn’t take long to work,” Tony told you. “Don’t fight it and get some rest.”

“Please don’t leave…” you whined.

“I’m not planning on it.”

~~~

Tony kept his hands on you until he knew you were sound asleep. He then washed up and grabbed a damp cloth. He carefully wiped off any of your sweaty skin he could see.

“FRIDAY?” He quietly called when he returned to the bathroom. “Where does Y/N keep that arthritis cream?”

“Top drawer on your left,” replied the AI.

Tony followed the directions and opened the cream container. “FRIDAY, order two more cases of this. She’s almost out.”

“On it, Boss.”

He went back into the bedroom and sat on the bed beside you. Dipping his fingers into the cream, he began to slowly rub it on your joints. Tony began with your hands, making sure to massage each finger, before working up your arms to your shoulders and neck. He carefully did your toes, ankles, and knees. He wished that he could help you with your back and hips, but he felt like those spots would wake you due to the intrusion. 

After he made sure your joints had cream on them, Tony sat on the bed next to you, working on a tablet. He needed to keep his mind busy from worrying too much. Tony couldn’t stand a problem he couldn’t solve and your arthritis was one of those. He knew that the flu you had was making it worse. He could help calm the flu, but that didn’t mean your arthritis would react the same. So Tony had to distract his mind with things he could do about it.

In your time asleep, Tony designed a special med-pack for you. This med-pack would be placed in every quinjet, med-bay room, and Compound room that you used. He designed a new bed, that would better relieve the joint pain. Tony redesigned your bathroom, with your arthritis in mind, and would begin renovations himself as soon as you felt better. He did all of this with a back thought of hope, going to redesign his own bed and bathroom for you as well. That maybe, one day, you would require it in there as well.

You moaned and shifted, causing Tony to put the tablet down.

“Tony…” you rasped.

“I’m right here, honey,” he said.

You finally blinked your eyes open to look at him. “You stayed.”

“Of course I did.”

“I just thought… with me being sick and all…”

Tony laughed. “Yeah, well, it’s hard to stay away from you, sweetheart. Sickness or not.”

“Thank you… for being here.”

Tony smiled down at you, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “Always… How are you feeling?”

“Still like hell, but better. Did you… did you put cream on my joints?”

“The just ones I could reach.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I had to do something, you know me. My hands have to stay busy. Are you hungry? Can I get you something?”

You swallowed, wincing at its soreness. “Um… soup.”

“Soup, coming right up.” He tapped his tablet a few times. “FRIDAY ordered soup from your favorite place and Happy is on his way to pick it up.”

“My favorite place, huh? And you know that how…?”

“It hurts that you don’t think I know you by now.”

You couldn’t help but note the emotions swirling in his big brown eyes. “I know,” you breathed out. “I know you know me…” 

You grimaced as you moved your arm up so that your hand was closer to Tony’s. He quickly got the hint and gently took your hand. The two of you stayed like that in silence until the soup had arrived. You thanked Happy before he left and then tried to sit up. You cried out and Tony was quickly there, helping you. He grabbed the extra pillows, putting them behind your back to stabilize you. 

“Is that okay?” He asked, already making a plan to dash for pillows if needed.

“It’s great,” you said, settling in. 

Tony out up and readied the soup. When he came back over, you grimaced as you lifted your hand to take the bowl.

“Nu-uh,” Tony shook his head. “You need to relax. I can handle this.”

“I’m not a baby, Tony.”

“I know, but you’re sick. Let me take care of you.”

“Alright, but you owe me. Next time I insist on taking care of you, you can’t fight me.”

He laughed. “Fine. It’s a deal.”

The first few spoonfuls of soup were tough to swallow. But Tony was patient with you and waited until you were ready before he fed you anymore. By the time you were done with the soup, you were worn out. Tony helped you lay back down before he injected the next round of meds and ate some soup himself.

“Tony,” you softly called.

“Yes, dear?” He responded.

“I’m glad you know things about me. It makes me feel safe… feel seen.”

“Y/N…” His fingers gently brushed down your face. “You are the only person I truly see. You are my light in the dark world. The reason why I continue to fight. The little things you do for me like making sure my coffee never runs out or the notes you leave around, make me feel seen and safe… Sweetheart, I love you.”

“You do?” Tears were welling up in your eyes.

“Yes, of course I do.”

“I love you, too.”

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words.” He leaned his forehead against yours, making sure your noses were touching. “I would totally kiss you right now if you didn’t have the sniffles.”

You couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter. Tony quickly pulled away as your laughter turned into coughs. 

“You okay?” Tony wondered.

“Yeah,” you asked. “Just don’t make me laugh right now. It hurts too much.”

“Can do.” He kissed your forehead. “Do you need anything right now?”

“Sleep. Can you… can you hold my hand?”

“It’s the least I can do.” He went around the bed to sit down. Grabbing one of your hands, he pulled it up to kiss the back of it. “Get some rest.”

~~~

It took you forty-eight hours to start feeling okay again. Thankfully, Tony was there the whole time. Even when you needed to use the bathroom, Tony was there to help you. The first few times, you cried about how embarrassing it was, but he just kissed your tears away and told you that it was life.

When you started to feel better, Tony was there making sure you didn’t overdo it. You were grateful that he cared and didn’t fight it. Tony continued to stay in your room, sleeping beside you on the bed. The morning you woke feeling completely better, Tony was holding you close to his chest. This was the closest the two of you had gotten—physically—in ever. Carefully, you turned around in his arms and looked at him. You noticed some beads of sweat along his hairline.

“Tony?” You gently called. He groaned, burying his head into your neck. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Tony, how are you feeling?”

“I think I caught your sniffles,” his voice was hoarse and you knew exactly why.

“Yes, I think you did, babe.” Your hands raked through his hair. “But I’ve got you. I’ll take care of you the whole time.” You kissed his head. “I love you.”

“I wove you too…”

[theladybarnes]

DON’T YOU WANT ME, BABY? : CHAPTER TWO

“No, you. You’re bullshit. You’re pretending like everything is okay.”

▸ summary: it’s time to party, where people can dance, drink, and make mistakes ▸ characters: jonathan byers, steve harrington, & billy hargrove ft.special guest ▸ word count: 6.5k ▸ warnings: underage drinking, angst, uncomfortable touching,  ▸ series masterlist

The following morning felt completely opposite to the previous day. The sky was gloomy, the air colder than ever, and even your alarm sounded more blaring than alerting. Your Aunt was very finicky when she noticed the bags under your eyes. But you reassured her it was mostly due to stress over school.

 Dustin’s costume prep took over most of her attention soon afterwards, giving you free time to swallow down some coffee that warmed up your body perfectly. 

 “Oh! I want to see those pearls! Yeah!” whooped Aunt Claudia from the living room. Causing you to nearly snort into your coffee. Setting down the mug on the counter, you joined the other two, watching beside Mews who seemed to meow in answer to your Aunt’s cries. 

 “Who you gonna call?!”

 Her enthusiasm seemed to give Dustin more confidence as he grinned ear to ear for the photo op. You had to admit that for a movie that came out nearly a few months ago, they made a pretty accurate costume.

 “Where’s your costume at, sweetie? Don’t you wanna take photos with Dusty?”

 You open your mouth to reply when Dustin cuts in, giving you a sly smirk as he pointed over to you. “She’s already dressed.” Walking over, he took in your face before he looked back to his Mother. “The bags under her eyes, the dead skin, the sour face. Clear signs of a teenage zombie.”

 “You’re dead.” you hissed, scrambling up from the couch to try and reach out for him. He let out a giggle, hiding behind his Mother while she did her best to calm you down. 

 “I think you look great as usual, sweetie. Just a bit more tired than usual.”

 “By great, you mean postmortem?” 

 This time, she doesn’t really have a chance to stop you as you move in to pinch at his arm. The sound of his yelp echoed in the house before he dashed away from you in order to escape through the front door. 

 Your Aunt barely has the chance to give your bag as you follow after him. Giving you both a bemused wave goodbye.

  Unfortunately, your chase to Dustin didn’t last long. Not when Mike and Lucas joined in on the bike ride, making a perfect block of your hitting range. You merely flipped him off as you rode past the group towards the high school, dreading the idea of now being on time for once.

The parking lot was already packed and you gulped at the sight of the familiar blue camaro that was parked. The sight of Billy’s bright hair came into sight but thankfully he was giving you his back while he talked to the three girls that were circling him.

 You make it to homeroom in record timing, dashing past almost anyone with an inquiry. It’s not until two classes later, that you’re making a quick trip to your locker that your luck runs out.

 “Who are we hiding from today?” 

 Your spine stiffened up, not quite ready to brace a conversation for the day. “I’m not hiding.” You muttered, pressing your face deeper into the locker. “I’m looking for something.”  

 “And that requires you to practically climb inside?” he teased, fingers tapping against the metal door. The lightness in his tone made you slightly more annoyed by his presence. Not to mention with him standing by your locker, the quicker attention was brought onto you.

 Sighing in defeat, you pulled your face away, grabbing your Chemistry book before you closed the metal shut. Giving you a full view of the boy beside you. 

 “What do you want, Harrington?” 

 Steve, who was not expecting you to answer back, nervously ran a hand through his long hair. The way his chestnut locks fell perfectly back into place nearly caused you to reach out and play with it. Just because you were still upset with him, didn’t mean that his perfect good looks weren’t still such a distraction for you. Especially with his dark vest and rolled up polo that gave you a perfect view of his biceps.

 “I just wanted to see if you’re okay.”

 Frowning at your stupid distraction, you quickly shook your head at him, trying to keep focus on the conversation. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

 “Well to start, that random new guy just walked right up to you and kissed you in front of everyone.”

 You winced slightly at the reminder. Hating that everyone including your former friends had to see that. 

 “He’s not random. I know him.” You shrugged, turning away from Steve to make your way to class. He stopped you before you could take a step away, using a gentle strength to press your back against your locker. 

 “Who is he?”

 Huffing, you licked over your lips, trying not to read into Steve’s concerned gaze too much. “It’s Billy. Okay? Can I go now?” He moved to stand directly in front of you, confusion clear on his face.

 “Am I supposed to know who that is?”

 “Billy is..my ex from back home.”

 He straightened up to that, eyes wide as he quickly checked around him before he leaned in to whisper. “The same ex from your story? That ex?”

 “Yes, Steve.” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I should be heading to class.”

 Again he stopped you from moving forward, gripping gently to your arm as he looked down at you. “Are you okay? Do you want me to get this guy off your back?” The warmth of his fingertips felt strangely hot against your arm, causing you to pull out of his grip quickly.

 “Stand down, your highness. I don’t need you to come to my aid.”

 He didn’t seem to believe that, crossing his arms across his chest before he leaned in closer. “Then why do you keep checking over my shoulder every few seconds?”

 “Since when should you of all people be concerned of my well being?” you pointed out, moving away from the locker wall finally. 

 “I’m just trying to help..”

 “Yeah? Because the last time you listened to my problems, that didn’t blow up in my face.”

 Your words caused him to flinch back finally, allowing you to get some space so that you could walk down the hall. But not before you turned back to step closer to him, using your finger to point over at him. “And stop talking to me like we’re friends. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression.” 

 With that, you turned swiftly on your heels, ignoring any other looks you might have received as you made your way to your class. 

 While you hadn’t been the nicest to him lately, even you knew that you were being a bit meaner than usual. But all your wounds felt fresh all over again. It seemed like nothing could ever stop that sting from coming back. 

 There was no way you were going to rely on Steve Harrington ever again.

 Unfortunately, despite all your tries. Billy Hargrove does find his way to you. 

 It was around lunchtime when you decided to take your break over at Jonathan’s car, hopefully get some distraction with his struggles. The lunchroom doors barely closed behind you, when you were suddenly hit with the strong scent of Billy’s cologne.

 “Well, well, well, there you are.” cooed his deep voice.

 You nearly popped your bag of chips as you froze in place. While you knew you couldn’t hide forever, you certainly did not prepare for what you wanted to say come the next meeting. Turning around, you find Billy leaning against the row of lockers nearby. 

 “I’m here. Now do me a favor, you stay there while I go, okay?”

 His sardonic chuckle sounded loud in the empty halls as he sauntered over. Your eyes glazed over his outfit, it was much more of a relaxed version of the style he wore at home. Something typical given the town you were both in, but the jean on jean combo was almost unforgivable.

 “This game you’re playing is getting boring, babydoll.” 

 “So is that nickname you keep calling me.” you smiled, trying to keep the composer you’ve worked on for years. 

 “Of all the things I missed about you,” he sighed, reaching out to grip gently at your jaw. “Your dumb pretty mouth was the least of them.” Leaning in, he tried to give you a kiss again before you pushed against his chest. 

 “I’m trying to keep my appetite intact, Billy.” Getting out of his hold, you hold the items in your hands against your chest to keep some space before you. “And will you drop the act? I broke up with you months ago.”

 Billy nostrils flared for a moment before he returned back to his signature smirk. “Can’t a guy miss his girl?”

 You looked up at Billy incredulously. “Since when have I been your girl? Last I checked, I dumped you for cheating on me. In fact, a lot of my friends mentioned how easily you moved on once I left.” 

 He clapped his hands together, cocking his head at you. The clear signs of his impatience already starting to seep through his demeanor. “I just figured since I’m here now—“

 “You mean stuck here.”

 “Since I’m stuck here, I thought we might give us another try.”

 “Were you hit on the head on the way in? Or did your Dad send you here with a plan to annoy me?”

 Tucking his thumbs into the loop of his jeans, he let out a long annoyed huff of air, clearly annoyed with the topic of his Father. Not that you could blame him, honestly. The man was an actual nightmare. 

 “My Dad is here. As well as Susan and Max.”

 “Max? She’s here too?”

 “Niel finally got hitched to Susan.” He confirmed, face turned sour from the mention of his new Step Mom. “Decided California was too much for a ‘growing family’ or whatever. And dragged us to this shit hole.”

 You couldn’t help but feel bad for Max. Ever since her Mom started to date Niel Hargrove, she’s only ever been tortured by Billy. Mostly with infuriating teasing that had you begging him to stop. 

 “I thought my life here was going to be rotten since we left. But as soon as I saw you yesterday, I knew things could turn around.” He preened, letting his hands try and snake their way around your waist. “I promise I’ll do right by you this time.” 

 It would be so easy for Billy to gain back the status he held back home. Considering how easy it was for you, someone who barely wanted it. Billy would gain it back in a day with how much he thrived on it. 

 “Billy, there are plenty of girls here who can be a warm spot in your bed. Go disgust them.”

 “Have you seen the chicks around here? Talk about mad cow disease.” 

 You couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief. The school day was barely even half way and he was already up to his antics. There was no denying that he still hadn’t changed since your absence. 

 “That’s good. I got you laughing again.” he pointed out, trying to lean in again.

 “Please!” you stepped back. “I’m laughing because you’re still the same jerk that hurt me. Not to mention you’ve developed some bizarre attempts to try and lure me back in.” Shaking your head, you pointed over to the lunchroom behind him. “Those girls are just as pretty as I am, and don’t even have the pleasure of knowing your real personality. Again, go to them.”

 You tried to turn away from Billy, already done with his nonsense when he gripped at your arm. The tightness caused you to gasp softly as he pressed you against one of the lockers. It’s almost parallel to how Steve was with you, but none of the kindness laid behind his light eyes. 

 “None of those girls know me like you do, babydoll. They don’t make me feel good like you do.” he urged, pressing his hips to hit against yours. 

 “Billy, get off!” you growled, shoving him back. Thankfully he stays back, shocked by your resilience to say no. There were so many times before that you gave in to him, forgave him for the shit he’d put on you, but not here, not now. “God, my appetite is officially ruined.” slapping the bag of chips against his chest, you stalk away from him. 

 “Come on, Henderson! I’m not done talking with you!” he yelled, sounding far away as you rushed down the hall. Instead of replying back, all you did was stick your middle finger up, hoping he gets the damn message. 

  “So, you missed out on lunch with me, why?”

 Jonathan asked, pulling into the front of your house. The two of you were supposed to meet up hours ago but after your confrontation with Billy, you needed the excuse to mend your headache. 

 “Wasn’t feeling that good.” you shrugged, gathering your stuff together.

 Will stuck his head up from the backseat, leaning to look at you. “Well, hopefully you’re not sick to go out tonight. It’s Halloween!” he grinned. “Aren’t you guys supposed to party or something.”

 “Definitely supposed to party.” you nodded before peeking past him to Jonathan. “Well some of us are. Others are deciding to play an unnecessary babysitter.”

 Will joined in on your pointed glaring as he faced Jonathan too. Tsking softly before his brother pushed his face back into the backseat. “I’ll have you both know I was asked to be babysitter. Besides, I don’t think it’s exactly the worst thing to do tonight.” He shrugged. “Better than getting shit faced with people who I don’t like.”

 “Careful, Byers. I’m one of those people you’re not supposed to like.” you teased, opening up the door. By the time you had gotten your bike from the trunk, Will had carefully climbed over the seat, buckling up in his seat belt  before he rolled down the window. 

 “I think you’re cool.” 

 “As you should, squirt. I’m the best damn thing in your guys’ lives.” you winked, causing Jonathan to roll his eyes. “And if your brother decides to ditch trick or treating, he can find me at the party getting ready to dance. I’ll be the little devil on his shoulder.” 

 “Goodbye!” Jonathan called out, ignoring your teasing as he pulled out of your driveway. Will stuck his head out a bit, waving goodbye to you as the car started to turn away. 

 “Happy Halloween!”

  The party was just the right kind of distraction that you needed tonight. With everything over at Tina’s place taken care of by the party girl, that gave you the rest of the evening to get together your outfit. 

 While everyone was going to dress up as characters or idols they liked, you decided to venture out of that to make use of some of the garments your friends had sent over recently. The Anne Klein red halter mini dress you had seen in Vogue magazine was the perfect choice for tonight. The fabric cinched in just the right places and showed off just the right amount of appeal that made you turn heads, but not feel too self conscious about bending over.

 Plus, any devil looked amazing in red. 

 The horned headband looked a little cheesy, but with your dark makeup and hair slicked back (which turned out to be a lot harder than you thought it’d be), you gave off an eerily cool look. The heels were going to absolutely demolish your feet but you’d tough it out for how good it made you look.

 Truth be told, this was definitely a statement for just a Halloween party. But you were finally at a place in your life where you were confident in how you looked. No, you weren’t a Nancy Wheeler or a Tina for that matter. But something that uniquely you. No one could take that away from you.

 After a little pep talk, you made your way over to the party. Your Aunt was a little bit nervous to have you be out so late on a school night, but after you told her you'd be spending the night at Tina’s she seemed a little bit at ease. But just in case, you still had her drop you off a block away from the party. 

 Thankfully she made a u-turn because by the time you had reached Tina’s street, the sounds of Mötley Crüe’s Shout at the Devil could be heard from outside the house. A perfectly timed song in your opinion. 

 The long driveway was covered with various kids, already wasted from what it seemed. The type of party scene you were familiar with.

 When you made your way over towards the front door, you noticed a figure standing in the way. Not caring about who it was, you gave a quick shove until you were able to wedge yourself inside. 

 “Oh God.” you groaned, moving to enter the rest of the way in. Standing on one side of you was Steve, while on the other was Billy and his newest lackeys. 

 Both boys seemed to already be in a bit of a mood from their stiffness, but Steve managed to break eye contact with Billy long enough to look at you finally. His brown eyes wide as he looked you over. “Nice costume,” he said simply. “Red suits you.”

 “It’s not a costume if she really is the devil.” Tommy sniggered from beside Billy, trying to obviously gain some brownie points. All that did was cause the man to glare at him. Making him almost physically shrink before he turned back to smirk at you. 

 “I love when she’s dressed up hot and horny.”

 For some reason that caused Steve to puff his chest up, ready to say something back at the guy before you decided to step in between them, pushing Steve behind you as you faced Billy head on.

 “I’m still nauseous from your pick up lines from today, Billy. Maybe take another lap around the room before you try to come at me again.” The boys beside him scoffed at your words, probably shocked you’d deny someone like Billy Hargrove of all people. “Or drop dead, either one!” 

 Patting his chest, you ignore the glare you received from Billy and flutter into the living room. Looking only over your shoulder to catch Steve smiling at you before making his way to join Nancy, who was almost swallowing all the punch that Tina worked on. 

 The sea of dancing kids gave the perfect space between you and the boys, who you felt might be more of a problem than you thought. Tonight was definitely going to be a long night.

  Like any party, things progressively seemed to get more crazy than you can really plan. But that was tomorrow’s worry. For now you continued to hang out with Tina and Vicki, making a small circle on the dance floor where you guys could dance to your heart's content.

 Now and then you’d bump into Steve and Nancy. The two seemed to be more off than usual. Steve was his regular self but you could clearly tell by the way that Nancy was nursing her red solo cup that some was up with her. 

 When Billy decided he’d try and squeeze in on the dancing, you thought it was best to get some air. Moving past the others to make your way into Tina’s backyard, you finally took in the mess that had been going on in the back. The place reeked of beer as kids took turns drinking from the keg. Others were dancing close to each other and some were clearly in need of a room. It wasn’t till the musky odor hit your senses that you looked around for its source. 

 Laying down on a chaise near the back of the yard was Eddie. Lit blunt loosely hanging from his mouth as he quietly counted the money in his hand.

 “I’m guessing our little agreement worked out great for you.” you mused, hand on your hip as you stared down at the boy.

 For a moment he stopped counting to look up at who had approached him before he looked at you. Brown little button eyes wide as he pushed the cash inside the pocket of his coat. “Look at you.” he whistled, “don’t you know it’s supposed to be a costume party?”

 “I guess I missed the memo.” 

 He scooted up in his seat to allow you to sit on the longer end of the chaise while he took in a puff. The smoke hit all over you before he extended his hand out, offering the blunt to you. “It’s the last of my stash tonight.”

 “No thanks. I’m good.” you hummed, leaning back to let your head hang back. The small flow of cool hair hit your skin and though you should be cold, you felt a small relaxation from the sensation.

 “I gotta say, your friend throws a hell of a party.”

 “I know,” Glancing back at the crowd, you nodded slowly before returning your gaze to Eddie. “I mean, it’s cool for a Hawkins party.” 

 Rolling his eyes, Eddie took another hit before he leaned in towards you. “If you’re going to be living here, Princess. I think you’re gonna have to rethink your terms of cool.”

 “I already have. Why do you think I’m hanging out with you?”

 He feigned a gasp, slapping his hand to his chest. “You deem me worthy of your attention? God, I'm so honored.” he said, mimicking a terrible English accent. “I must let the people know!” For a second he pretends to get out of the chaise, extending his arms out towards a guest before you’re pulling him back beside you.

 You had to bite down on your bottom lip from smiling too hard. There was something endearing about Eddie that you couldn’t quite place. It was definitely a nice break from the drama of the last two boys that had your interest.

 “Tell me, what would you have really done had I not convinced you to come tonight?”

He thought for a moment, looking out into the crowd before he glanced back at you. “Honestly? I would have probably played with my guitar and watched a movie with my friends.”

 “Really? No hard core metal parties you missed out on?”

 Chuckling at that, he rubbed out the butt of his blunt with his boot before he was back leaning in close to you. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, Princess. But there aren’t a lot of kids like me out there. Can’t have a party if it’s just you and your friends.”

 You inhaled the smoke around you, feeling slightly light headed. “Who says that? It’s a party regardless.”

 Shaking his head, Eddie chuckled again, eyes narrowed as he once again tried to analyze you. “You’re messing with me, again.”

 “I am not. I'm just curious.”

 It’s you this time that leans in closer. Enough so that you could feel the slight heat that was emitting off of Eddie’s body. For once, you find yourself having fun with a guy while being mostly sober. The last time you felt this way was that small moment at Steve’s party. But– you weren’t going to think about that now.

 Not when Eddie seemed to be staring at your mouth. Which you hadn’t noticed, he had a pretty mouth as well.

 “He’s clearly busy, Jason!” whined a high voice. 

 The two of you broke apart instantly, snapping out of whatever daze you two were locked in to stare at the person who interrupted.

 Jason Carver, a jock from your History class, who was dressed up as a grim reaper, had his arm hung over a smaller thin blonde who you tried to remember but couldn’t quite place the name. Her angel costume was almost perfectly matching yours. 

 “Got anything left, man?” asked Jason quickly. “We got here late and could use something to take the edge off.”

 Whether it was because of his interruption or something else, Eddie instantly stiffened up at the guy. Leaning back to size him out before he crossed his arms over his chest. “Fresh out, man.”

 “Oh come on! You gotta have something.”

 “Sorry, dude. You snooze, you lose.” 

 His girlfriend tugged gently at Jason’s sleeve. “You heard him, baby. Let’s just get a beer.” Her eyes glanced over between you and Eddie before she smiled at you. “I love your costume.” she pointed, making you sheepishly smile as you nodded back to her.

 “You and I clearly have taste in glamorizing the heavenly duo.” 

 Jason took a glance over you before he scoffed a bit, squeezing his arm tighter around his girlfriend. “Whatever, let’s go, Chrissy.”

 Chrissy, as you’d know her now, gave you a weak wave goodbye before doing the same on Eddie. Her gaze lingered a second longer on the boy before she turned away completely.

 Thankfully when the couple made their leave, you were able to fix up your hair quickly, turning to get back to whatever groove you and Eddie had. That is, until you noticed his gaze was still on the blonde. A slight hue of red lingered over his cheeks and he waited until the couple was completely out of sight before he gave you his attention again.

 It was almost like deja vu. The way he stared at her, the simple goodbye made him heat up. You’ve seen that stare before. It was the same way Jonahtan looked at Nancy and the same way you looked at–

 “God, I’m an idiot.” you gasped softly.

 Eddie’s brows furrowed and he scratched at his long hair for a moment before he spoke up. “I’m sorry?”

 “I have the most terrible taste.” you realized. 

 “What do you mean? Taste in what?”

 Scooting back, you can’t help the look of annoyance that cracked over your face. How many boys were you going to have a crush on before you’d find one that actually liked you back? This back and forth leading to nowhere was just tiring. 

 “Taste in men!” Standing up, you tug down at your skirt, ignoring the confused look on Eddie’s face before he followed with you. 

 “Did I miss something?”

 “No, Eddie. I did.” Patting at his shoulder, you gestured out towards the party. “Enjoy the rest of the night. I’m gonna get myself a drink.”

 The boy called out to you, trying to call you back over to him. But you kept going, choosing to reach for an empty red solo cup and filling it up with the beer from the keg. The foamy brown liquid seemed to taunt you. 

 Drinking this would steer you off the path that you’ve tried so hard to maintain since last year. But this week was turning out to be such a shit show, and while you knew drinking wasn’t the best solution. It was the only one that you felt would get you out of your mind.

 “Fuck it.” you sighed, pressing the cup to your mouth and throwing your head back to down the rest. Eddie’s figure brushed past you roughly making his way towards the front door of the house. Seemed like his night was over.

 “Want another, hot stuff?” asked a drunk boy in a toga. Nodding your head, you hold your hand out for him to refill the cup while your gaze focuses on the party. Steve and Nancy were still dancing and even Billy had a group of girls surrounding him. Everyone was having fun but you. 

 Taking another big gulp, you down another before handing the cup. “Another.”

 “You should take it easy.” 

 “Did I ask for your opinion, or did I ask for another?”

 He looked a bit more pale than usual before refilling your cup. “Another one it is.”

  The beating sound of New Order’s Blue Monday is beating heavy against your chest. The vibrations feel nice against you and you can’t help but swirl around the dance floor, hugging the cup close to your chest as you finally let loose. Who the hell cares about anything when this amazing song makes you feel so free?

 All around you drunk kids joined in on the free dance. The carefree worry about dancing the night away seemed to weigh stronger than the impending wake up call most of you would get tomorrow morning for school.

 Something you didn’t think you had to worry about, but with the amount you drank in just twenty minutes, you figured it might be something to think over. Placing your cup down, you run a sweaty hand through your hair, laughing a bit at how crazy it must look until you feel the gel come on your hands. 

 “Gross!” you whined, wiping it on a nearby pillow before chucking it into the crowd. Weaving through the kids, you managed to make your way to the downstairs bathroom, washing your hands from the hair product before you looked at your reflection in the mirror. 

 “I’m hot! What the hell is wrong with these guys!” 

 Fixing up your sweaty makeup as best as you could, you stumbled out of the bathroom to hear that the music had stopped. Whatever it was seemed to be quick because not long after the beat returned and you continued on down the hall towards the bedrooms. 

 You had moved down towards the door that led to Tina’s sister’s room, the girl had been gone for college since the start of the year. But when you tried to open the door, you found it was locked from inside. The sound of a girl’s loud moaning could be heard and you groaned against the wood as you tried to open the door.

 “Come on, guys! My bag is in there!”

 There were sounds of a scuffle and a deep male voice before the door opened up. A very sweaty and disheveled looking BIlly popped his head out, looking flustered as he looked down at you. “Babydoll, what are you doing here?”

 The musky smell of weed and something else drifted from the room, making you feel instantly nauseous. Before you could ask him the same, Anna Jacobi stuck her head out. A blushful smile on her face as she tugged her top back down. 

 Ignoring Billy, you push past the two to grab the bag you had stored inside. The bedsheets were already crumbled, hanging off the edge of the bed. “This isn’t what it looks like.” Billy said, trying to get your attention again. “We were just having some fun.”

 “Save it, Hargrooove.” you slurred, holding your bag close to your chest. “God, your name is so hard to say.”

 “Are you drunk?” Asked Anna. “I thought you didn’t drink.”

 “Ohh but she does love to get shit faced on occasion.” Billy chuckled, reaching out to grip at your unsteady arms. “And what a sight it is to see again.”

 “Is she gonna be okay?”

 “I can take care of her. Wouldn’t want her to wander off in this kind of state.” Billy offered, sounding more genuine than he really was. You knew better. The girl seemed hesitant to agree to that, giving you the chance to get out of his grip.

 “Don’t pass out on the chance to show the girl a good time, Billy.” you spat, straightening up. “She might actually enjoy all three minutes.” Holding three fingers up, you wiggled them in front of his face before flipping him off. “Get bent.” 

 Laughing loudly at your own remarks, you walk around the two, missing out on seeing Billy glare over at you as you make your way out the door. The last you heard was a grumbled ‘bitch’ before he slammed the door shut behind you.

 The walk down the stairs nearly had you tripping twice with how dizzy they made you, but you managed to get back to the main floor of the house. You bopped your head to the sounds of Duran Duran’s Girls on Film, looking over the guests.

 Right away you noticed the familiar backside of Jonathan. It brought a big smile on your face to know that he decided to come after all. When you think about going over to join him, you notice that he’s talking to a girl who strangely resembles a girl named Samantha from your grade. 

 He looked to be having a nice conversation, and while you could use your friend right now, you didn’t want him to miss out on the chance of getting to know someone new. He deserved a nice girl.

 Not wanting to be caught gawking around, you quickly made your way out the front door of the house. The cool night air felt good on your skin and you lazily made your way down the driveway with your bag over your shoulder.

 You couldn’t help but think about what had gone so wrong these past few days. 

 Boys seemed to be the main problem to it all, but no matter how hard you tried, they all brought you into the mix of drama again. And what was worse, you couldn’t help but feel some felt doubt about yourself. High school had been hard already, then there was monsters, and now just stupid boys. 

 How much worse could it get?

 “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a girl like you to be walking around this late at night?”

 You stopped dead in your tracks, head falling forward as you tried to think what sick joke God continued to play on you. But instead of replying back, you continued your walk, keeping your head up as you tried to walk a straight line. 

 “Come one, trouble. We both know walking in those kinda shoes can’t be comfortable.”

 He was right of course, but you still wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of looking back. Even if your pinky toe started to feel pinched.

 “It’s only gonna get more muddy from here, might ruin them.”

 “Damn it.” 

 Turning swiftly, you don’t say anything else as you open up the door to Steve’s car. If the fact that you might ruin your shoes didn’t draw you in, the lovely heat that was inside would have. 

 “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly, noticing your struggle to buckle in. “Henderson, are you drunk?”

 “No.” you drawled out, finally getting the belt to stay in. “I’m A-OK.” 

 He sighed heavily, gripping onto the wheel tightly before he put the car in park. Unbuckling his seat, he took off his jacket, handing it over to you before he started up the car again. “Put it on before you freeze to death.”

 “So bossy!” you pouted, hating how enticing the coat actually looked.

 “It’s for your benefit, trouble. Just do it.”

 Slipping your hands through the sleeves, you felt the instant warmth the fabric gave to your skin. The lingering scent of his cologne flooded your senses and you couldn’t help but sneak in a whiff as you pulled the fabric up to your neck. “Happy?”

 “Ecstatic,” he grumbled. “Now, can I please take you home?”

 “Off we go Jeeves!” you yelled, making Steve roll his eyes as he took the car off park. The slight grumbling under his breath had you giggling for a second as you adjusted in your seat. It’s after driving for a few moments that you looked over at Steve again. The bounce in his hair seemed half there, and there was a slight sullenness to his expression. 

 “You look like you’ve been crying.”

 He scoffed softly, shaking his head quickly. “Have not.”

 “Have too. Your eyes are red.”

 “They’re irritated. I have allergies.”

 “To what, your tears?”

 The car turned silent again before he thought up another topic to talk about. Clearly trying to distract you from the noticeable wetness around his cheeks.  “How was your night?”

 “It was shit. Boys suck.”

 “Hmm, girls suck too.”

 Glaring at him, you notice he kept his gaze forward, but the sadness was still there. For a second you thought back to the party, the way he and Nancy seemed to be out of sync for the most part. The question is there on your tongue. Was he sad about her? But considering how fast he denied even crying, you didn’t think it’d be good to bring it up now.

 “Happy Halloween, eh?”

 There’s so much more hurt in his tone. It was making you more curious about what exactly went down, but sharing your problems with each other seemed like the last thing you both should do. “You know, this party was supposed to be different.” you sighed, changing the subject.

 “Was it?”

 “Yeah, it was kind of supposed to make up for last fall.”

 He looked somewhat dejected at the reminder of your previous year with him. But you continued on. “I mean, let’s be real. I didn’t come to move here and deal with school drama and monsters. And since we got rid of that, I figured that someone as smart as me could work my way around the school bit.”

 He turned the car into your driveway, having gotten you back home in record timing. But instead of saying anything else, he turned off the engine to his car, unbuckling his seat belt so that he could face you. “And how’s that going?”

 “Very crappy.” you chuckled, making him laugh a bit too. “I don’t know but I feel like things aren’t ever going to be normal for me again. I mean, whatever happened to being just a stupid teenager? When did all this other mess like a love life come in to make it harder?”

 “It’s all bullshit.” he said softly, looking at you solemnly again. “All of it.”

 You couldn’t help but snort a bit, nodding your head in agreement. “Glad to know we’re all bullshitters.” Leaning in towards Steve, you wipe off some remaining bits of tears from the side of his face. Something you could only see now that he stopped driving. 

 His lips quivered a bit, giving a small smile at that before he brought his hand up to rest on top of yours. “Thanks for the ride, Steve.” you whispered softly. Not giving it a second though, you leaned in closer until you were able to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.  “I hope your allergies let up soon.” 

 Not saying anything else, he let his hand drop to his side, watching you as you very clumsily got out of his car, the cool night air no longer felt good against your skin as you slowly handed him back his jacket. You’re about to close the door when he calls out for you, making you peek down inside the car. 

“I’m sorry about last year,” he said suddenly. “I can’t say it enough, but I really do regret hurting you and all.”

 Nodding your head, you give him a small smile before you close the door. He took that as a cue to make his leave, giving you a small wave as he slowly went down your driveway. It’s not until his car is far enough that you let out a small sigh, feeling completely drained.

 “Me too.”

A/N: I feel like this took me years to get out. But it’s finally done! I feel bad for Steve in this scene so much. Wish we could all wipe his little tears :C

[aclockmaker]

any day can be WIP Wednesday if you believe in yourself. sequel to heavy melodies (modern au/wlw steddie). thinking about what Steve’s relationship with Nancy is like if they’re both girls

“Pause,” Nancy says, “did we decide on a movie?”

“Well, as a video store employee,” Robin starts.

“No,” Nancy says, having already litigated this debate in the group chat. “I am not watching Paddington 2.”

“Okay, but you are missing out,” Steve puts in. They play it in the store a lot.

“I’m with you,” Eddie assures Nancy.

“Thank you,” Nancy says, eyes big. “There are so many great movies out there. But honestly—well, it’s stupid.” She laughs self-consciously.

“No it’s not; what?” Robin says.

“Yeah—” Steve starts at the same time Eddie says, “No, tell us.”

What Nancy wanted, in fact, was something that would make her cry, and that’s why Steve is going to be forced to read subtitles when she should be barely paying attention. In truth, Steve agrees with her though—she feels like she could use a good cleansing cry and Aunt Lucy in Paddington isn’t going to cut it.

Eddie dives right for a spot on the floor and curls up against the couch. It doesn’t look uncomfortable, but— “We can all fit on the couch,” Steve offers, but Eddie waves it away.

The movie is French and gay and Steve does cry, drying her tears with the flannel blanket she’d pulled over herself. On the other side of the couch, Robin grabs tissue after tissue from the box next to her. Eddie just rests her head on her own shoulder for a moment as the credits start to roll—that’s all Steve can be sure of from where she’s sitting, right behind Eddie on the couch. Steve’d spent the whole movie trying not to accidentally touch her. She was so anxious that she’d ended up focusing extra hard on the movie and hadn’t even gotten bored halfway through like usual. But the guy, Henri, died, and he hadn’t even gotten to go back and fix any of his mistakes, and his friend would go on thinking that Henri didn’t care about him until the day he died, and the passage of time was inevitable and cruel…

“I fucking hate subtitles, Nancy, what the hell,” Steve says through tears and starts laughing toward the end of it. From the armchair, Nancy turns her face to Steve, brightly surprised and with wet, red eyes; blinks for a moment and then starts laughing too. For a second while they both wipe their eyes it’s like no time at all has passed between them, they’re still 17, still best friends.

The thought, sudden and electric—had Steve been more than friends with her? But even now, she doesn’t know. It still hurts, either way.

And then Eddie’s shifting in front of Steve and standing up to lean around Robin and grab a tissue from the box. She wipes her eyes and sniffs once. If she’d ever guessed, Steve probably would’ve said that Eddie wasn’t much of a crier, but she doesn’t really know where she got that idea. Eddie’s very—open, generally, with her emotions. Like, the other day when they’d—well. Afterwards, Eddie had said all that stuff to her—about how Steve was so sweet, and that being with her was amazing. But, some of that was probably just, like, the kind of things guys said after sex, sometimes. Things Steve understood they didn’t mean. Things she usually didn’t want them to mean.

Of course, Eddie isn’t a guy. And here she is, crying. If it was Robin, Steve wouldn’t have thought twice about the urge to hug her but she knows it’s different.

[morganski-19]

I Don’t Know Which Way’s Home

Chapter 4: Running Away

ao3 link, Part 1, Part 3

Cw: domestic abuse and mentions of child abuse

April 1983

“How many times have I told you that tips go to me,” David yells from the other room. 

It's just another one of the many screaming matches between him and Julie’s mom. The third boyfriend in Julie’s lifetime to escalate yelling at her mom for various things, and the second to demand her tips. 

“Those tips aren’t for you. You didn’t earn them, I did,” her mom screams back. “Julie needs new clothes soon; I need those tips.”

She doesn’t know where her mom finds them to be honest. Every time she brings a new guy over, they reek of booze and cigarettes, and they have an unmaintained, greasy mullet to make them look like every bad guy in a sitcom. They’re happy for a month before things get sour. Her mom ends up hurt, emotionally and physically, until her breaking point is hit, and they’re tossed to the curb. Metaphorically as there is never enough room for the boyfriends to move into the trailer. She’s thankful for that.

“That bitch doesn’t need anything, she’s already a spoiled brat.”

But no matter what her mom never seems to find someone who will actually treat her right. Julie pleads with her after each one, tries to tell her that she doesn’t have to be treated like this. Ever since she was old enough to understand that this was wrong, it’s all she would repeat. But her mom never believed that anyone would actually want a single mom who could barely get by on her own. So, she kept bringing home dirtbags time and time again. 

“Do not call my daughter a bitch.”

“Why not, you raised her. No wonder she’s a bitch.”

As much as Julie tries, she can’t ignore the screaming match anymore. She shuts her textbook as loudly as she can without them hearing it through the walls, but she doubts that they would over themselves. Grabbing her jacket from the closet and her latest notebook, she carefully opens her window and climbs out. 

This isn’t the first time she’s done this, and it probably won’t be the last. The first time she underestimated the height of the window and ended up spraining her ankle. So, she learned and placed a few old milk crates underneath so she could step out more easily. It got better when she got taller too, spiking up to one of the tallest girls in her class. 

When her feet hit the solid ground, she took a moment to make sure that they didn’t hear her. But the screaming has only escalated, so she takes her chance. 

Turning on her heel and facing the woods, she runs into them, going to the only spot that makes her feel safe at times like these. 

. . . 

Present Day

“You did what,” Robin asks, standing frozen across the room from him. 

“I kissed Eddie,” he admits.

“Just kissed him?” she asks giving him a look that already tells him that she knows. 

Steve’s eyes look everywhere except at hers. “We might have also slept together.”

“And you didn’t immediately tell me afterward,” she exclaims, waving her arms around in the air. “We,” motioning between her and Steve, “are platonic soulmates, who are supposed to tell each other everything. And you neglected to tell me, for literal days, that you not only kissed but slept with, the guy that you’ve been pining after for months.”

He rolls his eyes. “I have been not pining for him for months-.”

“You absolutely have,” she interrupts, “and the tension between you two have been insufferable to sit through. Every single movie night has been you two stealing glances, casually touching each other far too many times for it to be considered normal or platonic, and essentially undressing each other with your eyes. With your eyes, Steven.” She puts her hands on her hips and glares at him again, fully exhausted from this bullshit. 

Worst part is that she has part of a point. Yes, Steve has liked Eddie for a while and yes, he did realize that he is attracted to guys a long time ago. But the other guys he was attracted to were surface-level stuff, nothing like this. The feelings he has for Eddie are a lot deeper than anything he’s had in the past few years. And with all of the dug-up feelings about his dad, he didn’t think he was going to do anything about it soon. 

Going over to Eddie’s that day wasn’t thought out all that well. He was stuck in all of the thoughts that he would get in high school. How nothing he ever did was enough to get his dad to notice him. Nothing would get his mom to come home. So, he decided that they shouldn’t be the reason to have this. Because as much as he wanted to pretend, their voices were still in the back of his mind telling what to do that would make him, and them, look good in the eyes of the public. 

It wasn’t until his lips finally locked with Eddie’s that those thoughts finally started to dissipate. But is he ready for whatever he has, will have, with Eddie. That he’s still not so sure of. 

“Ok, ok you’re right. I should have told you.”

“Well, that was obvious,” she walks up closer to him and gives him a knowing look. “Now can you tell me what’s actually going on up there? Cause sleeping with him was one thing, the way you’re looking like a kicked puppy is another.”

Steve takes a deep breath. “What if I’m not ready for this?”

“Being with a guy is different than being with a girl. So, depending on what you did, I’m sure that he’d be careful with you going forward so you don’t just jump into it and-.”

“That’s not it,” he cuts her off. “I-. The last time I felt like this about someone, I got my heart broken. And with everything that’s coming back up with my dad, with Julie. What if it was a mistake sleeping with him now was the wrong thing to do?”

Robin’s face softens. “If you think that everything else that’s going on in your life right now is too much and adding a new relationship on top of that will only add to that, I think he would understand. Just talk to him about it.”

“I know,” he presses the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I know you’re right. But I feel so stupid for giving him hope for something I’m not ready for yet.”

The walkie on his counter crackles. “Hey Steve, it’s Julie. Is it ok if I come over?”

Steve picks up the walkie and hits the call button. “Yeah, you can come over.”

“Ok, thanks.”

“When did you give her a walkie?”

“The last time she was over here, thought it’d be a good idea. We’ve been talking on it a lot, actually.”

Robin smiles. “You two are getting closer then?”

“I’d say so. It’s still kinda weird knowing that I’ve had a sibling this whole time, but it’s nice.”

“That’s good, I’m glad this is working out.”

“Me too.”

Steve hears a knock at the door and goes to answer it, Julie standing on the other side. “Is it ok if I leave my bike on the lawn?”

“Yeah sure, that was fast.”

“I might have been most of the way here already before I checked to see if it was ok.”

He moves out of the way to let her through the door, closing it after her. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just,” she sighs. “School and everything, didn’t want to go to that house after.”

“Wanna talk about it?” He asks, walking back to the living room where Robin is.

“Hey, Julie,” she says. 

“Hey,” Julie plops onto the end of the couch. “Maybe, I don’t know. It’s just. So, I’m sixteen right, and the oldest kid in that house so they treat me like the babysitter, all the time. And they’re drunks that can barely look after themselves and now add three kids to that mix, so I’m pretty much doing everything. And like, I don’t mind doing the dishes or making my own dinner or doing the laundry. But they shouldn’t get to treat me like their maid just because they’re too drunk to get off their ass.”

Steve and Robin shared a worried look. “That sucks,” he says, not quite sure what else to.

“Yeah,” she says while picking at the skin around her nails. “It does.”

“Is there anyone you can talk to about getting you and the other kids out of that house?” Robin asks. 

Julie nods. “I mentioned it to my case worker at our last meeting, said she would look into it. Don’t know how long that’s going to take though.”

“We can talk to Hopper to see if he can do anything about it if you want.”

“I don’t want to bother you too much with it, it’s fine. Just frustrating.”

He wants to push more but doesn’t. She looks like she doesn’t want to talk about it, and they just started really getting along. So, he changes the topic, and they talk until Julie says she wants to get some homework done. He lets her stay and do it in the kitchen, him and Robin being left in the living room by themselves.

“Are you going to do anything about that?” Robin whispers, leaning forward to keep it private between them.

“I want to, but what do I do? I don’t want to make it worse for her by saying something.”

Robin presses her lips together. “Yeah, that wouldn’t be good.”

“I think I’m just going to tell her to come over as often as she wants. I mean I wouldn’t mind, and I trust her to be alone in the house if I’m not here.”

“But that’s not going to make it any better for when she goes back.”

“There’s nothing I can do right now that would let her stay past curfew, or even for a night. That would only end up in another missing kid report and her being brought back by Hopper.”

“Steve,” she looks at him with a soft gaze. “What do you really want to do? Cause I think I know, you just haven’t said it.”

Steve sighs, running a hand through his hair. He has thought about it, pretty much since that first night he met her. But considering this house isn’t his and the fear that his dad would come home any minute and find her here, it never seemed like a real option. And what government official would let a twenty-year-old without a full-time job, getting by living off his parent’s money take custody of a kid.

He thought that maybe after some time, some effort on his part, he could maybe get it together enough to do it. If they got a long and both wanted to. But that house is treating her and those other kids horribly. He wants to do something to help all of them, get the other kids in a better home and maybe take Julie in.

It all didn’t seem possible, but maybe it was time to try.

“I don’t know if she wants that. And even if she did, I have no idea where to start.”

“Well, even though it probably didn’t go through all the right channels, we do know someone who adopted a kid. Talk to him, he might be able to help.”

He takes a deep breath. “I’ll think about it.”

Robin reaches to cover his hand with hers. “And while you’re at it. Think about what you want to do with Eddie too. You’re not giving him false hope, I promise that. You still want this, you just have some other things you want to take care of before starting a relationship.”

“You’re right,” he nods. “I’ll talk to him soon, promise.”

Julie knocks on the doorway. “Hey, I’m going to head out. Curfew is earlier for school days.”

“I can drive you back if you want,” Steve says, already standing up.

“No, it’s ok. I’d rather go myself. Thanks though.” She turns to head to the door, Steve following her.

“Just so you know,” he says before she opens the door. “You’re welcome over here after school anytime, if you want to get your work done without being in the house. If I’m not home, I leave the back door open most of the time, so you can come in through that way.”

“You’re ok with me breaking into your house when you’re not here,” she asks.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I know you enough to trust you. It’s no pressure or anything, but if you like it here more than there, I’d rather you be where you’re safe instead of going somewhere else.”

She looks at him with a confused glare, processing what he said. “Ok, thank you. I might stop by again tomorrow then, I have a paper due.”

“You’re welcome here, Julie, any time. You don’t have to feel like you’re bothering me because you’re not. Promise.”

Julie just nods, closing the door behind her. Steve takes a deep breath, heading back to Robin and trying not to think about what he knows he’s going to do.

. . .

Julie looks like a mess. Leaves are stuck in her hair and her clothes are all rumpled. And there is an ache in her back from sleeping on a hard surface. But what else did she expect from sleeping on a park bench. It beats going back to that house then, so she’ll suffer until third period when she can use the gym showers to get the park off her.

Shivering, she combs out her hair with her fingers, pulling it back into a short braid. She goes to the bike rack she parked at and unlocks her bike, mounting it and heading toward the school.

When she gets there, she rushes to the bathroom to change her clothes, hoping no one notices the difference. She makes it through her first two periods, trying to keep her eyes open and pay attention. Her grades have already slipped, she can’t afford to miss another lecture.

Third period rolls around, and she gets changed for gym, thanking the teacher for giving them an easy day of just doing exercises with a partner.

Jane, the girl Max was talking to, approaches her. “The teacher said I cannot keep skipping class and sitting with Max on the bleachers. Can I partner with you?”

“Sure,” Julie shrugs. They travel around the circle that the teacher made, tossing basketballs to each other meaningless activities. Jane is shy, but Julie doesn’t blame her. She is too most of the time.

After class she takes a quick shower, rubbing the last two nights of sleeping on park benches off of her and getting the rest of the leaves out of her hair. The rest of the day is monotonous and all she wants it to go home. But home isn’t home anymore and no where she goes even compares to the comfort she once felt in her own room.

Well everywhere except for Steve’s. But she knows that comfort is different. It still isn’t the same as walking through her trailer door and seeing her mom’s things scattered around, smelling the dinner she made before going to work or hearing the music she’s playing from the radio. The conversations aren’t as effortless, and the life just isn’t there. It’s not her home, nowhere is.

It’s cruel to try and compare anything to her old house. It’s cruel to try and chase the feeling of comfort that her mom gave her in anyone. She knows that nothing will ever compare to her mom. But she can’t help but keep searching to find something else that is close to it.

Steve is an interesting addition to her life. For the past month she’s had to grapple with the fact of her who her dad was, and that she had a sibling across town who didn’t even know she existed. From what she’s heard about her dad, she never expected his son to be like Steve. From what she can imagine, Steve is nothing like his father, and Julie’s happy that is true.

If Steve was like his father, he wouldn’t have left the back door open for her so she could come into his house while he was at work. He wouldn’t have left a note telling her that there is a sandwich in the fridge if she’s hungry, or that she’s welcome to anything in the pantry. She wouldn’t have even been able near the house at all.

Their relationship is still new, still uncertain. Sure, they get along, but there is so much of their lives and experiences that are different that they haven’t even touched on. There is so much more to Julie that she has even yet to share. She’s trying to open up, trying to create some sort of bond with him. There’s this want inside of her to have a family again, to come home to a house through the front door and not immediately be yelled at to clean up a spill. To come home and feel like it’s a home.

She can recognize that Steve is trying to do that with her, trying to create someplace that she wants to be. To get to know her because they are one in the same. Two kids from the same dad who never stayed long enough to get to know them, she can at least assume. Both trying so hard to fill something they’ve always wanted, but never had.

Julie stays for as long as she’s supposed to, heading out the way she came in and picking up her bike from where she left it in the woods. She’s out of clothes so she can’t just go to the park afterward like she did yesterday. So, she prepares for what will happen if her presence is known when she gets home.

Honestly, she’s surprised that they didn’t notice that she was gone for two whole days. It’s probably because the other kids were in school and doing work, so they were quieter. The time they sent the cops after her was a Saturday, so they realized their babysitter was missing. It just meant she had to be smart with what days she doesn’t go back.

When she parks her bike on the lawn of her foster home, she’s ready for the verbal onslaught that she’s sure to happen.

“Where’ve you been?” Janice mutters over her cigarette, lounging on the couch.

“At a friend’s,” Julie responds quickly.

“Lucky, we don’t call the cops on you again. Bathroom needs cleaning.”

Julie mentally rolls her eyes. “I’m not your maid,” she mutters under her breath.

Going to the room she shares with Molly she takes out her dirty clothes and exchanges them out with new ones. Then heads to the bathroom, so it doesn’t turn ugly. Better she complies now so they don’t notice her missing tomorrow.

“You didn’t come home last night,” Molly says quietly. “Or the night before.”

“No, I didn’t,” Julie says while scrubbing the toilet.

“They noticed, I lied for you.”

Julie sits back, looking at the girl she barely knows. Molly isn’t much younger than her, but she shouldn’t have to cover for Julie’s choices. Especially when Mark’s temper is as short as a stubbed-out cigarette.

“Don’t do that again, I don’t want you getting hurt for me.”

“I won’t. Me and Oliver got adopted a week ago we’re leaving on Saturday.”

As much as that will only put more attention on her, she can’t help from smiling. At least their getting out and going to someone who will care for them a hell of a lot more that Janice and Mark would. “I’m happy for you.”

“Are you going to be ok here by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine, Molly.”

Molly walks away, leaving Julie to clean the bathroom alone. She just hopes that when the two of them leave it will be the last kids that come through this house, leaving her to deal with it alone.

A small part of her hopes that she won’t be here that much longer either, but she can’t be sure. So, she shoves the hope down and just goes back to scrubbing.

. . .

Steve didn’t exactly plan for this to happen when he invited Eddie over. What he did plan was to tell him that things needed to slow down between them because he was in no place to start a relationship with him. Not after all the old baggage that he has with his dad, and definitely not with the information Julie told him earlier.

Because in his mind, he’s going to do whatever he can to get Julie out of that house. And if he’s lucky, maybe get her to live with him.

So that means a lot of outside work from him with protocols that he has no knowledge of, but he knows it’s too much. So, he was going to invite Eddie over and explain it to him gently. Until he didn’t.

Instead, he’s here with Eddie’s tongue down his mouth and his hands all over Steve, making his mind hazy in the way he likes. So hazy that he can’t bring himself to stop Eddie, and instead just folds and kisses him back as hard as he can.

It’s a stupid, reckless decision that will probably just hurt both of them in the end. But he can’t seem to stop it.

That is until there’s a banging on his door that’s hard enough to knock it down.

“The hell,” Eddie says as he pulls away from Steve. “Was anyone supposed to come over?”

“No,” Steve answers, untangling his fingers from Eddie’s hair.

Eddie slips his hands out from underneath Steve’s shirt as another round of pounding comes from the door. “Should you go get that?”

“Probably, stay here ok.”

Steve goes to the front door, running a hand through his hair and fixing himself to make him look presentable. He opens the door to two people he’s never seen before, both extremely angry.

“Can I help you,” he asks confused.

“Where is she?” the man spits out, fists clenched.

“Who? I know a lot of people.”

The man gives him a cold stare that makes him want to strengthen his stance. “Julie, the bitch ran away again. Thought she’d be here.”

Steve raises his eyebrows at the name he called her, appalled. “Don’t know who you’re talking about,” he feigns innocence.

“We know about you two,” the women slurs. “We know that she was here the first time, she has to be here again.”

“Look,” Steve says, making himself look bigger. “I haven’t seen her in a few days. I’m sure she’s just out somewhere and will be back soon.”

“Well, we haven’t seen her since Thursday. It’s Saturday,” the man growls, eyes full of anger.

Fear shoots through Steve at the thought of Julie roaming around town finding empty benches to sleep on. He thinks back to the past few days and not once did he ever give her a ride home. She always refused, riding away on her bike before he could convince her. Because she knew he would wait to watch her go inside the house, like he always does. And she didn’t want that.

“I have no clue where she it,” Steve asserts, enunciating every word clearly. “She’s not here, so I can’t help you.”

He has to get to her before they do. Has to call Hopper and get a search party out there before they do. Because there is no way he is letting Julie go back to a house that is dangerous.

“Fine, we’ll just have to go around looking for her then.” The man stomps off, the women following close behind.

Steve shuts the door as gently as he can, adrenaline rushing through him. As soon as it shuts, he quickly runs to put his shoes on, rummaging around to find his keys.

“Hey, you ok?” Eddie asks, coming into the front room concerned.

“No,” Steve asks, patting down his pockets to see if his keys are there. “That was Julie’s foster parents, they haven’t seen her since Thursday. I haven’t either. Where are my keys.”

“Fuck, hold on.” Eddie runs to the kitchen and comes back holding Steve’s keys. “Here. Take a breath ok, we’ll find her.”

Steve takes the keys, breathing heavy at this point, heart rate slowly increasing more and more. “They were so angry, Eds. Like terrifying. The guy looked like he was about to beat me up if she was here, what is he going to do to her?”

“Nothing,” Eddie cups Steve’s face in his hands, forcing him to look at his eyes. “They are going to do nothing to her because we are going to find her first. We’ll take my van and look around, ok.”

“Yeah ok,” Steve says, the panic slowly fading with Eddie’s touch.

They go to Eddie’s van, him speeding out of the drive and to the nearest park. The benches are all empty to they check the next, which is also empty. Steve tries to think of places she would go, the library, video store, diner. Anywhere where she might be. Each place coming up empty.

“Where could she be?” he says after the last failed attempt, panic rising again.

“Wait, hold on. I remember something,” Eddie pulls out of the parking spot and starts to head toward the trailer part. “I would see her run into the woods behind the trailer park sometimes when her mom was fighting with one of her boyfriends. I never said anything at the time, but it’s the only place I can think of.”

. . .

Julie sits on a fallen log in the woods behind her old trailer. The familiarity of coming out here covering her like a hug, even if those moments weren’t the best. They were hers. Ones she shared before her life was irreversibly changed. Back when everything was normal.

Here she was always safe, away from the chaos and in her own little world. She would sit on this log and write her latest story, do some homework, or just sit and listen. It was her place, and she missed it.

She knows what day it is, knows that Janice and Mark noticed that she was missing. Molly and Oliver were adopted today, which means that a case worker went to the house to pick them up, and hopefully went inside. She wasn’t there to pick anything up, and she was sure that no one else did. With all of the beer bottles and junk that made a constant mess around the house, there was no way that the two of them passed.

At least she hoped.

But with that, Julie knows that nothing would be done instantly except for make Janice and Mark angry. An official investigation and a few more surprise visits would have to happen before they got blacklisted from fostering. Her case worker explained it all to her when she made the initial complaint. That was weeks ago, and nothing has changed, so she forced it to. Even at her own safety.

Her head picks at rustling leaves as someone approaches. Fear shoots through her and she debates running, scared that she was finally found by the people she was running from. But as Steve emerges from the trees, relief visibly going through his mind, she stays.

He doesn’t say anything, just walks over to her and sits down. The sit there for a moment in silence before he finally says something.

“I had the pleasure of meeting your foster parents today. If I didn’t get why you hated them before, I definitely do now.”

She sighs. “I didn’t know they would go to you.”

“I wouldn’t of either,” he says with a shake of his head. “How long have you been lying to me about going back there?”

He says it in a way that reminds her of her mom. Not anger, just concern with the want to understand why. “About a week.”

“Any reason that they suddenly noticed it now?”

Julie picks at her thumb, the skin so broken up it could start to bleed. “The other two kids that were there got adopted and picked up today. So, I made sure I was gone so the mess would still be there when the case worker got there. And if I wasn’t there and they didn’t know where I was, something might actually get done about it.”

Steve huffs. “That’s bravely stupid. You and I might be more similar than you think.”

She lightly laughs, finally looking at him and seeing the worry still painted on his face. He worries for her, he cares. It’s been a while since anyone did.

“Look,” he sighs. “I know there’s probably nothing I can say to get you to stop running away. But I don’t want you out on the street every night. This town might seem safe, but it can be real dangerous, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I can’t go back there,” she says shakier than she wants. “I hate it there.”

He looks away from her, letting out a deep breath. “You know, there’s this shed in my backyard I don’t go in that much anymore. Has the heater and tools for the pool and that’s been closed for a month know. But I also use it for storage, so there’s a bunch of blankets and maybe even a cot on the one side away from all of the chemicals. I don’t think I would notice if someone would slip in there at night. And you know, if I left one of the windows open, or even the back door, if someone were to slip in after I went to sleep and left before I got up, I’m not sure I would know.”

She smiles at him, a real smile this time. “Thank you,” she says, bumping her arm with his.

“I didn’t do anything, just told you some basic facts.” He smiles back, keeping the true meaning of what he meant unsaid. “I know you don’t want me to, but I am going to call Hopper to go talk to your foster parents and make sure they don’t do anything. I can’t ensure that it would be permanent, but at least for the night.”

“That’s probably for the best. Maybe have me drop him off too, that way they don’t know that you found me.”

Steve nods, standing up. “Come on, I’ll take you back to my place while I call him.”

Julie stands, grabbing her bag from where it rested on the log and follows him. They meet back up with Eddie who is leaning idly on his van, smiling when he sees Julie them. He doesn’t say anything, just enters his van and waits for them to do so too. The drive back is filled by Steve trying to mess with Eddie’s radio stations while Eddie swats his hands away, claiming to already calming the music down for him. Steve eventually gives him, staying silent for the rest of the ride.

When they get to Steve’s house, Julie goes to the kitchen to wait for the inevitable, Steve stopping in the hall to call Hopper. It isn’t much longer until the chief arrives, taking Julie back to her foster house with a promise that they aren’t going to do anything to her if he has a say in it.

She doesn’t quite know what he says, her retreating to her now empty room before he talks to Mark and Janice. But when she comes down to try and get some food and sees Mark almost flinching as she walks by, it must have been good.

. . .

“She’s ok, kid. I put the fear of god in them, but if they as so much as hurt a hair on her head, you tell me and I’ll make sure that they’re locked up.”

Relief fills Steve as he leans against the wall, thankful that this situation is over. “Thank you, Hop. It means a lot to me.”

“It’s no problem. And as far as I’m concerned, if she’s at your house, she won’t be reported as missing. As long as they don’t get the case worker involved, but she wasn’t too happy with them when I called her up either.”

“That’s something.”

“I gotta go but call me if anything happens. And if you need anything, Steve, you let me know, ok?”

“Yeah, ok.”

Steve hangs up the phone, already making a plan for what he wants to do in his head.

“You’re going to try and get custody of her, aren’t you,” Eddie asks, walking up to him.

He turns to look at him, crossing his arms. “Yeah, I am.”

Eddie huffs. “Thought as much. You could talk to Wayne if you wanted, ask him how it was getting custody of me.”

“I might take you up on that.” Steve takes a deep breath, preparing himself for what he has to say next. “There was actually something that I needed to talk to you about.”

Eddie nods. “I was expecting that.”

Steve walks up to Eddie, getting close to him and wanting to reach out and touch him, but he knows the moment he does what he needs to say won’t happen. “Look, Eddie, I really like you. More than I have anyone in a long time, and I really want to have something with you sometime.”

“But,” Eddie cuts in, sounding resigned.

“But, with all the stuff that’s been dragged up from my past with my dad that I have to deal with all over again, and now with Julie. It’s too much for me to be in a relationship right now. I can’t be worried about her and how things are going between us at the same time. There’s still a lot of things that I have to work through when it comes to being in relationships still, and I can’t do everything at once. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Eddie reaches out to touch his arm, stuttering before realizing that it’s ok. “I want this, whatever it is with you. And I get needing to wait before everything calms down again. It’s a not right now, not a not ever. I can deal with that.”

Steve looks at him, feeling the urge to just say fuck it and lean in to kiss him again. Take back everything he said and just jump right in headfirst. But Steve knows that this is for the best. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. You have no idea how much I like you, have wanted a night like a week ago to happen. I can wait a little bit longer if that means that this might actually have a chance.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, Steve.”

Eddie leans forward and gives him a chaste kiss, this time being the last for right now. A goodbye to the small romance they had, if they could even call it that, as they go back to being friends. For just now, Steve promises.

Part 5

Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet, @steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy, @connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @cheddartreets, @theupsidedownrealestateagent, @acidbubblegummie, @sirsnacksalot, @l0st-strawberry, @helpimstuckposting, @strawberry-starss, @freddykicksasses, @italianwhore1, @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window, @rageagainsttheapathy, @nuggies4life, @ape31, @whimsicalwitchm, @chrissycunninghamfanblog, @michellegilligan, @hippielittlemetalhead, @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale, @jaytriesstuff, @confused-stripes, @faeb1tch42069, @marklee-blackmore, @hel-spawn, @genderless-spoon, @mamafaithful, @estrellami-1, @starryeyedpoet17 @i-amthepizzaman, @lilpomelito @melonmochi

[jamesbuchananxsteviegrant]

I Pick the TV Show, Rogers Shuts His Cake-Hole | Bucky x Steve x Reader (Angst, Fluff)

Category: Angst, Fluff (Suggested) Age: 14+ Trigger Warnings: none, other than the standard explicit language Ship: Bucky x Steve x Reader Summary: Steve Snaps At Reader When He’s Stressed, Resulting In Her Being Very Upset Request: "can u write where steve/bucky is overwhelmed with something and when reader asks to help or is telling them to relax they snap at reader and reader is hurt which makes them feel really bad afterwards. thank you sm. i love ur writings. and this is anon right? is it alright if u dont post my response if its not anon? im sorry. thank you so much. ur blog always pictures great stucky imagines. 💗💗💗" Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 2,488

---

A given, the super-soldier had been on nonstop missions for the last month or so, but she thought she was helping him feel better, not making him feel worse.

“Would you like anything to eat, Stevie? You’ve barely moved all day.” (Y/N)’s voice is small. Quiet.

She’s leaning through the door of his study where he’s sat putting together his mission reports from the last three or four missions he’s been out on.

He shakes his head but doesn’t even turn to look at her.

Sighing, the woman walks further into the room where her boyfriend is slouched over the desk.

“You gotta take a break, Stevie.” She whispers, resting her hands on his shoulders.

She notices the way they tense up, but he still remains silent.

His fingers continue to write up his report on the laptop.

“I’m worried about you, Stevie; talk to me.”

“I’m busy, (Y/N).”

“I know you are, baby, but you’ve gotta look after yourself too.” She attempts, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. He pulls away.

The woman furrows her brows.

“Steve, please, you’ve got to-”

“(Y/N), just stop!”

The shout is sudden and it makes her flinch back away from the man as he turns to face her.

“I’m fine, alright?! I don’t need you babying me all the time!”

She doesn’t respond for a second, surprised at her lover’s outburst.

He says nothing more, simply turns back to the laptop and continues typing away.

“Steve, look how stressed you are. Can you please just-”

“STOP! Okay?! Just stop! Leave me the fuck alone while I finish these neverending mission reports. For once in your life can you just understand that not everything is about you?!”

(Y/N) swears that being shot in the heart wouldn’t hurt half as much as the words that just came out of the man’s mouth.

Her mouth opens and closes as if searching for the right words to say, but that hurt.

Is she really that bad? Is that the truth behind all of this? That she’s clingy? Thinks everything is about her? That was never her intention. (Y/N) is well aware of how important being an Avenger is. Hell, she is an Avenger, for Christ’s sakes.

She says nothing more and leaves the room.

She can’t even decide if she feels sad. No. She’s not sad, she’s not angry, she’s not… anything.

Numb.

Naturally, her feet lead her to their room. Steve’s room. They all basically share the super soldier’s abode since they all got together, but right now she doesn’t dare open the door.

Doing a full one-eighty spin, (Y/N) takes herself back to a place she barely touches anymore. Her room.

It’s pretty empty. Most of her clothes are in Steve’s room, in her own walk-in wardrobe. Her bed is perfectly made from the last time she slept in here - maybe a year ago?

The woman walks around her bed and straight onto her bedroom balcony, overlooking the lake at the back of the compound, and stays there. For three-hours. Until Bucky comes looking for her.

He came home from his mission about thirty-minutes ago only to find their shared room of Steve’s empty. He searched just about everywhere, completely clueless.

“FRIDAY, where’s (Y/N) and Steve?” He finally gives in.

“Captain Rogers is in study five, and Agent (L/N) is in her private quarters.”

Now that makes the brunet furrow his brows.

Why would (Y/N) be in her room and not his or Steve’s?

He prioritises finding (Y/N) first, knowing Steve will be writing up mission reports, no doubt.

Despite them being together for over six-years now, he hesitates when reaching for the handle of her bedroom door. Instead, the man opts to knock.

No answer.

“(Y/N)?” Nothing. “Doll, it’s me; can I come in?” Nothing.

Bucky tries the door handle and finds it unlocked, yet still hesitates.

“Baby?” He calls out. Again, nothing.

He’s cautious now. Scared.

Her room looks as untouched as the last time he saw it, which was a few months back when she was after one of her plushies.

“(Y/N)?”

It’s when he feels the chill of the midnight winds ruffle his hair that he realises her balcony doors aren’t fully closed.

Striding straight over, his eyes widen at the sight of his girlfriend curled up in the corner of the outdoor area, crying.

“(Y/N), baby, hey, what’s wrong?!”

Bucky immediately drops to his knees in front of the woman, reaching for her hands and gently tugging them away from her tear-stained face.

“(Y/N), doll, look at me.” His voice is gentle. Soothing.

She does almost instantly but her sadness stays.

“What happened, baby? Are you hurt?”

The fear and sincerity in his voice is enough to prompt the woman to shake her head. Yes, she’s hurting emotionally, but he needs confirmation that she’s not dying.

The woman immediately sees the relief take over his features, but he’s still concerned.

“What’s wrong, doll?”

Her eyes stray away from his, not wanting to tell him what’s got her so upset.

“Hey, no, look at me, baby,” He whispers, hand lightly grasping at her chin to raise her face back up to his. “What’s got you so worked up, (Y/N)?”

Another shake of her head as she tries to escape her lover’s hold.

“Baby, please, you’re scaring me.”

Her face contorts into something close to heartbreak as she wants nothing more than to reassure the man in front of her.

“It’s okay, Buck.”

“It’s not okay! Doll, I haven’t seen you cry since Stevie nearly died on that mission in Ohio like two-years-ago! Talk to me.”

She takes a deep breath and wipes her face of the shedding tears.

“Do you want me to get Stevie?”

The question is innocent and makes sense, but her eyes widen and she shakes her head desperately.

“No! No, please, no.”

That truly makes the super soldier concerned.

“Doll, please can you tell me what’s happened?”

Never in the last eight-years that Bucky and (Y/N) have known each other has she been so reluctant to see Steve.

Another sob escapes her and it’s breaking his heart.

“Baby, please.”

“Steve got mad at me, alright?!” She manages an attempted shout. “I just wanted him to look after himself.”

“What happened? What did Steve do?”

He’s concerned. Massively.

“I was trying to get him to eat; he hasn’t eaten properly in so long. He’s so overworked and he’s hung up on all these mission reports. He told me that not everything was about me - shouted at me; told me to stop.” She’s whimpering and sniffling again now. “Please get him to eat something, James.”

That last sentence is the one that crushes him. She’s upset, yeah, but above all that, she’s still worried about the blond super soldier.

“Come on, baby, let’s go to our room and get into bed, yeah? I’ll go and speak to Stevie.”

Her eyes meet his and she looks scared, but the ocean blue gaze that he returns makes her bound to his every command.

The woman nods.

“Okay.”

“That’s my girl.”

With the help of the Winter Soldier, (Y/N) manages to stand up, letting him lead her out of her private room and into their shared one of Steve’s.

“Here, let’s get you into your PJs, yeah?”

He doesn’t leave room for negotiation as he helps his girlfriend strip out of her casual dress and into one of his oversized t-shirts.

“You get snuggled up in bed, doll. I’m going to go and get Stevie, okay?”

He hates how she looks nervous at the mention of their other lover’s name.

“He loves you more than words can describe, baby girl, I promise you. He shouldn’t have lashed out at you, I’m gonna talk to him, okay?”

A hesitant nod and forced smile is enough for now.

“I’ll be back shortly, I promise.” He leans over and gives the woman a kiss on the lips, leaving her with one of her favourite shows playing on the TV.

“Bucky,” Her choked up voice calls out just before he leaves.

The man turns from his place in the doorway.

“I love you.”

The smile that takes over his expression is contagious.

“I love you too, baby girl. More than anything.”

Despite his reassurance to the woman, he’s pretty damn pissed for a number of reasons about Steve losing his cool with their girl. Reason number one being, how dare he? Reason number two being, he knows better than to overwork, yet here we are.

Bucky doesn’t even knock once he approaches the glass doors of the study where Steve is sat typing away on the laptop.

The blond doesn’t even glance up to see who entered. He barely heard the door open which enrages Bucky further.

The brunet slams the lid of the laptop shut without saying a word, prompting Steve’s head to shoot up, glaring daggers at whoever has interrupted him.

“What the fuck, James?!”

That makes Bucky really get annoyed.

“Are you serious right now, Rogers?”

“I’m in the middle of about seven different mission reports, Buck, I’ve gotta finish them.” The man sighs, going to open the lid of the PC once more, only for Bucky to hold it down. “James, seriously,”

“No. What you need to do is explain to me why our girlfriend has been crying for the last God-knows how many hours?”

That makes Steve snap back to reality.

“What? (Y/N) has been crying? Is she okay?”

Bucky literally rolls his eyes at that.

“Are you fucking serious, Steve?” He repeats, Steve looking confused, expression contorting as he realises that his boyfriend is seriously angry at him.

“Bucky, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”

The Winter Soldier’s head lolls back as he groans in frustration.

“You seriously have no idea?” He asks, rhetorically, watching Steve look almost scared. “Do you often shout at your girlfriend and forget it happened?”

Cap’s eyes widen at that, and he visibly gulps.

“What?”

“She came in here to make sure you were looking after yourself, which you weren’t, by the way, and you tell her that not everything is about her?! Are you fucking stupid, Steve?!”

He remembers it all too well in that moment, turning his head down to avoid the frustrated glare of his male lover.

“No. No, you don’t get to look away from me. Look at me.” Bucky demands, watching the blond super soldier reluctantly do so. “I come home from my own exhausting mission, search for (Y/N) for thirty-minutes, and find her crying her God-damn heart out on the balcony of HER room; not our room, Steve, no. Her room.”

Steve’s heart shatters and his eyes widen once more.

(Y/N) hates staying in her room. She’d always be in his or Bucky’s without a doubt.

“I- Buck-”

Bucky shakes his head and stands back upright as Steve is lost for words.

“I’m not mad at you, Steve. I get it, you know? You’ve been overworking for the last month, I know you’re stressed, but fuck, baby, you can’t hurt her like that. Do you know how much my heart fucking shattered when I saw her curled up in the corner of her own God-damn balcony?! It tore me apart. She hasn’t cried since you nearly fuckin-” Bucky chokes on his own word as he walks away from his lover.

“I’m sorry! Buck, I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have let Fury send me on that many missions, I- I should’ve said no. I’m sorry.” Steve attempts, standing up and following the brunet, turning him around to face him once more.

“It’s not me you need to be apologising to, Stevie.”

Captain America nods and leans up to press a kiss to the man’s lips.

“I’m sorry, James.”

Bucky takes a deep breath and forces a smile.

“I forgive you. Of course I forgive you, I know you didn’t mean it, but I swear to God, if you hurt her again…”

Steve is already shaking his head.

“I wouldn’t dream of either of you getting hurt. Where is she?”

“Our room.”

He nods and begins heading toward the woman to which he owes more than he can give.

The door is half ajar when Steve gets there, he slowly opens it to reveal his girlfriend in all her glory, curled up under their Captain America themed duvet - which Sam bought the trio as a joke last Christmas. Her face is clear-as-day red from her earlier upset, and it breaks his heart.

The man knocks gently on the day as if not to startle the poor girl.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He offers a solemn smile when she turns to see who’s there.

He hates the way he can see her hesitation to speak to him as opposed to her usual squeal of his name, arms opening wide to welcome him into her cuddle-fest.

“Hi.” She manages, forcing her own smile.

There’s silence floating between them, the only sound being Jensen Ackles, in his role of Dean Winchester, talking a load of nonsense about pie on the TV that’s streaming Supernatural.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Steve manages, taking a step toward the bed. “Nothing can excuse the way I yelled at you, and I’m so sorry for that, but, sweetheart, trust me when I say I didn’t mean it. I was so stupidly stressed, and I should never have let it get to that point.”

She nods, truly believing his words, but it still hurt.

The blond sits down on the edge of the bed, not daring to cuddle his girlfriend until she’s comfortable.

“I love you so much, (Y/N) (L/N).”

A bigger smile taints her lips at that.

“I love you too, Steven.” Her voice is barely a whisper but he hears it clear as day.

“Can I hold you?”

(Y/N) smiles and shakes her head as if he was being silly.

“You never need to ask permission for that, Stevie. No matter what.”

With another sad smile, he pulls the woman into his arms and holds her tighter than ever before.

“I’m so sorry, my love.”

“I forgive you, but no more missions for a while.” She whispers.

“Yes, boss.”

Bucky’s leaning against the doorframe, watching the interaction. He took a detour to Tony’s office and made sure to give the billionaire a piece of his mind about making sure Fury didn’t have Steve on any missions for a long time.

“Is this the last episode?” The brunet speaks up, stripping himself of his clothes as he enters their room properly.

“Yeah.” (Y/N) nods.

“I still think we should watch Vampire Diaries instead.” Steve chuckles, mirroring Bucky’s actions.

“I pick the TV show, Rogers shuts his cake-hole.” (Y/N) teases, mocking a line from Supernatural and snuggling herself in the middle of the bed, sandwiched between the two super soldiers - where she belongs. “I love you both.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

“Love you always, doll.”

TAGS

Everything Tag List: @nosoulnoproblems | @rileyloves5  | @girl-who-loves-mythology | @avngrsinitiative | @lookinsidemyhead |@xbabykookiix | @myspectacularfantasies | @fanfic-anyone | @rororo06 | @queenofbuskers | @vapingisntmything | @tony-stank3 | @hermione-grangers-wife | @lili-ann-love | @the-omni-princess | @tayahs-blog | @regulus-black | @saturnsteverogers| @fyfiexo | @amazingiam00 | @deviltownn | @buckybarneses | @fafulous | roryshitposts | trynnabemultifandom | @moodboreddd | @hopingforbarnes | @an-adventureland | justassaneasiam-ll | @profoundllamanickeleggs | @xbongox | @minetticatinwonderland | @thinkaboutmara | @xxaestheticboyxx | @sparklycollectionofoldmemes | @wandaneedstherapy | @georgiadixon | @nerdy-thespian-10 | @nsb-supertrio | @thinkaboutmara | @captainamerica-is-bae | @spookyparadisesheep | @supernaturallover2002 | @notsochillnerd | @peggycarter-steverogers | @reann-shitposting | @buckybarnesplumwhore | @mrsstevenbuchananstark | @ynscrazylife | @jessromanoff | @holsj2411 |

Stucky x Reader Only Tag List: polarbearnamedpanda | @marvelous-glims

SFW Only Tag List: @piper-koko-barnes-rogers

[munsnz]

Hii hope you're having a great week! If you feel like writing it i was thinking of a steve h x wheeler!reader, where they're having a dinner at the wheeler's and reader is nervous thinking it's going to be awkward and all but it actually goes pretty well.

LOVELY MESS — STEVE HARRINGTON

WARNINGS: anxiety, language??

PAIRING: Steve Harrington x GN! Wheeler! Reader

PSYCHOIE RADIO: What You Like — Wallows

L: Tysm for requesting anon!! This is actually something I’ve been wanting to write for a long ass time, and I’m so sorry this is a month late, I was In a rut for the third time this year, but finally, here it is!!

“Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay!” The kind-hearted guy, leaned towards you by the metal, old lockers, while you switched your books, shaking your head side to side, “Come on, whatever happened to Nance and I is over.”

Your eyes shifted to meet Steve Harrington’s, your 6-month boyfriend, who was also your younger sister’s ex boyfriend, Nancy Wheeler. Although she may have been younger, Nancy had it all, popularity, the smarts, and the looks, except you, the shadowed sister. Even your brother Mike Wheeler knew that Nance had outshined you, still being younger than you. That terribly tumbled apart as soon as Nancy confessed that she no longer loved Steve, telling him it was all bullshit, the words that hurt Steve those past nights.

You somehow got ahold of him, to get over the breakup as the two of you fought for the fate of the world along the group of kids, Mike’s friends, bringing you guys closer, leading up to confessing their feelings for one another.

“Steve I’d think it would be a bad idea.”

”How would it be a bad idea if we never tried it?” Steve cheekily grins, placing a warm kiss on your thin lips, smiling between them. You pushed his chest away with your hands, making him whine, “One more kiss come on! Or else we’ll have to go to the dinner!!”

You placed a notebook to block his wildly handsome face from kissing you again, giggling hysterically, “No, that’s my final answer.”

Steve had always been so fond about your family, the Wheelers, he knew Mike due to the previous events with the Mind Flayer and has met your mom when he was together with Nancy. But you still think it’d be awkward, you were going to bring your boyfriend, not your friend, nor Nancy’s boyfriend, but yours.

In denial, you always tried to not touch the subject, scared of it going wrong. As you saw Steve pout and cross his arms like a child, he mumbled, “I promised it’ll be ok, just let me go for once.”

”You already went to their house!” You squeaked as your palm hit his shoulder, slapping him playfully.

Steve raises his eyebrows, straightening his face while he sternly stares at you, “Yeah but I went as Nancy’s boyfriend, not yours right? So give me a shot honey.”

“I don’t know,” You started pacing along the hallway to get to class, knowing you were five minutes late, the weirdest thoughts flooding in. What if your parents don’t like the fact you’re with Steve? What if they prefer Nancy with him instead? What if-

Clearing his throat and whispering in your ear, Steve mumbled jokingly, “I know you’re overthinking Y/N.”

“Stop it!” You move a strand of hair from your face, clutching your books tighter, strolling away from him to the hallway of lockers, “What if it gets awkward? What if my parents don’t like the fact you’re with me!?”

”Can you at least think about it?” He shouts from afar, leaving his arms in the air, trying to get your attention while you tried your best to ignore him.

Soon enough, a teacher peeped their head out of the corresponding room towards the hallway for the source of disruption to find Steve’s tall figure continuing to get your attention, “Harrington! Off to class, you’re late!”

”Right! I’m sorry m’am,” Steve rapidly nods, zooming away to his Basketball period, where he knew for sure he’d get in trouble with the couch for being late. Still awaiting for his proposal to be answered with his loving mess, for a one of a kind dinner with your family, the Wheelers.

”Mike I swear to god you better not embarrass me!” You rush down the rug stairs, fixing your hair as you tucked it behind your ear, chasing your younger brother down. After Steve’s persuasion driving you nuts for that same day you both talked, you finally gave in to bring him over on a Thursday night under one condition, he wasn’t allowed to embarrass you or himself, just to keep things proper, and not awkward between your family.

As the days grew closer to the date of the dinner, the more anxious you got to the point you couldn’t bare to see Steve, keeping you and your thoughts to yourself for the past weeks. It was simple, a simple gathering with your family and boyfriend.

What could go wrong?

Everything and anything. From your parents making you look like a fool to be going out with your sister’s ex to Steve making a terrible impression on them although he’s met them already. You weren’t so logical, you were scared, not nervous but scared. What if this whole dinner would be an awkward disaster full of embarrassment and inconvenience?

But here you were, getting ready for the small event taking place in your home, chasing your brother to shut him up due to his witty comments. Now shoving your little sister Holly softly on the side to clear Mike’s path, he taunted, “Well I’m not the one kissing the pillow thinking it’s Steve! Mwah mwah!”

”Thats not true, Mike!”

You tried to reach to stop Mike from speeding through the kitchen but before you could make any other move, Mrs. Wheeler scolds at you two, “No running inside the house!”

”Sorry mom!” Both you and Mike loudly shout, slowing down your pace, suddenly catching up to Mike by dragging the collar of his blue striped polo.

As he squealed in pain and angst, you tackle him to the couch, tickling his sides on the soft brown cushion, “I got you! Now say it! Surrender!”

”Never!” His high-pitched giggled filled the cozy room, squirming under you, trying to free from your grip. Another wave of the tingles on his ribs were coming back, your fingers moving on his back.

You continued to make him laugh hysterically, lowering your voice to mimicking a villain both of you once watched on tv during a weekend night, “You must proclaim yourself as a liar! Or ye shall face the consequences!”

“I will not surrender-“

Instantly after the sharing of laughter being held by the siblings, you heard the rhythmic chime from the doorbell, Holly was making a fuss about her lack of apple juice in her sippy cup as Nancy tried to leave the porcelain plates on the clothed table in the dining room. You and Mike frantically got up from the couch after your mother was pulling you away apart, “Hey, he’s here!”

Shit.

You knew for a fact your loved one was here, an awful feel of unease aroused, making you tense unlike the past few moments before you heard the doorbell. Steve Harrington was here, at your door, for dinner with your family.

Gulping nervously, you hurried to get the door, but surprisingly Mrs. Wheeler got there before you could stand up from the comfortable couch, your heart pacing at an unstoppable speed, ruffling your top. Mrs. Wheeler opened the wooden door to find that same familiar, attractive face, both Mike and you peering on the side, roses in his hands.

”Mrs. Wheeler!” Steve kindly greets, handing her the bouquet of roses at the door, making her receive them with a soft grin.

“Hey there Steve- oh!” Mrs. Wheeler yelps when Mike harshly shoved you next to your mother, bumping shoulders with her, goofily grinning in front of him.

”Hi Steve,” You childly mimicked, but realizing the fool you made yourself look like, regretting your stupid action you made in front of your boyfriend.

As your mom signaled the brunette to walk inside the welcoming room, Steve lightly pecked your cheek, slightly bringing you closer to himself from the side as both of you solemnly walked inside the warm room. Watching the two of you, Mike made smooching and kissing noises behind you, kicking him in the shin, squeaks of pain coming out of your younger brother’s mouth in order for him to shut up.

And right as you saw Nancy slightly wave at him while walking off rapidly to find Holly for dinnertime, a sense of insecurity rushed in you. You leisurely shifted away from him, his eyes darting towards you knowing that something was up while Mrs. Wheeler rushed to the kitchen for the home cooked meal. Only 5 minutes in of the gathering and you were an anxious mess already, quietly panicking if anything else so terrible would happen, your fingers tapping the side of your thighs where they stood upon you.

“You know you can sit down right?” A gentle voice, your sister’s voice perked in the silence telling Steve. Nancy holding the little one in her arms, moved to sit Holly down as Mike lounged in the wooden chair almost staring you down jokingly to see your funny expressions.

Steve whips his head around, chuckling softly, pulling out a chair for you to sit in, “Yeah, this is why this is a dinner Nancy. You know, for sitting down and eating?”

A silence formed between the five of you, later on creating an awkward melody of chuckles being shared between Nancy and Steve, then turning away from each other, leaving this pit in your stomach at such uncomfortable state. Thoughts. Terrible thoughts rolled in meanwhile you sat which Steve offered to give you, Mike’s eyes widening while drinking the glass of milk being on the top of the table to try his best not to giggle.

Afterwards, Mrs. Wheeler interrupted the awfully weird silence with a fake, cheerful tone you knew wouldn’t be her usual self, carrying in the large plate with roasted chicken. She strictly ushered you and Nancy to bring in the rest of the side dishes from the kitchen out to the dining room as Mike and Steve chatted a little before your father strolled in to greet your boyfriend.

“Chill out Y/N,” Nancy places her thin hand on your left arm calmly, you turned your head around you understand what she was saying, “You seem tense, it’s okay.”

You scoffed at her comment jokingly, placing the bowl of greens onto the table when Nancy put the dish with fresh mashed potatoes as well. All of you took a seat, ready to feast, Steve clearing his throat to speak up, “Thank you so much Mrs. Wheeler for inviting me and for this wonderful dinner.”

“No problem Steve, ever since we met you with Nancy, you’ve been a great guy,” Your mother softly smiled, but changed her expressions once you shot your eyes towards her, “Anyways, enjoy the meal.”

Mumbles of thank yous and your welcomes being shared between one another, beginning to eat the delicious food for the evening. Shakily, you grabbed onto the silver fork, stabbing it into the chicken to eat it, the sound of plates moving around and cups being sipped, you decided to speak up, “Steve has been hanging out with Mike lately, they’re getting alone quite well.”

Your mother’s eyes widened, “Oh really? That seems like fun, having an older brother figure must be pretty cool knowing that Mike has grown up with a house full of girls right?”

Caught off guard from his meal, Mike hesitantly nodded while he falsely smiled, peering over to Steve for an agreement, “Yeah, Mike might be a little trouble with the rest of the boys, but he’s fun to be with at times.”

”A little trouble,” Your brother repeated jokingly under his breath, applying a mischievous look on his face, leaning back onto his chair, “I don’t think Y/N and Steve studying their human anatomy is-“

Before any reactions were being made from the regrettable comment your annoying brother made, Nancy slapped her hand across his mouth to shut up before he said anymore weird nonsense about you and your significant other. Steve worriedly glanced towards you with a beet red tinted face, almost wishing your mom hadn’t heard him while you stuffed your face trying to hide your expression.

“Michael what was that?” Mrs. Wheeler shot up a look towards your brother, laying her fork down with a confused face, “Human anatomy?”

In a stuttering mess, you tried to bring up some lame excuse to cover up along with Steve, you were sick to your core, knowing the stupidity that Mike claimed to be. It could be that your parents would say something terrible, you were flushed in multiple shades of red. You knew this dinner was even more terrible than expected, now your brother was making you and Steve look like a couple of fools, your hands sweating. Nancy chimed in to help between your idiotic stumbling, “It was this code name Mike used with the party and them.”

“Mmm yeah totally!” Steve wearily smiled, readjusting the hem of his red blouse he wore, watching you nod in response, a wave of relief washing inside you, “It’s the most oblivious things that are the most secretive, right Mike?”

Both you and Nancy darted a death glare towards the black-haired boy, who nodded rapidly under the threat of the siblings, “Yeah, Dustin was the one who made it up.”

”Kids these days,” Your father, Mr. Wheeler mumbles, slicing his part of the chicken in half with the butter knife as he shook his head.

Mrs. Wheeler humbly agreed, you mouthed a silent “thank you” towards Nancy’s direction, giving you a kind thumbs up later to kick Mike’s shin under the table, a quiet yelp escaping his lips for the second time. Later, feeling your hands gripping ever so tightly onto Steve’s large ones, being placed on your shaky leg.

Nancy brought up a conversation about an upcoming school event for the seniors at Hawkins High, Steve being able to catch up on the conversation. The mood was slightly calmer than it were before, things lessened up a bit as your harsh grip softened, feeling more balmy. Your boyfriend smiled, while looking off to your mom and dad who were intrigued by the conversation you were all having. Peace at last, worries washed away, it was okay.

Giggles and words were filled the large home, dessert was already handed out, Steve was on a roll to making your parents life along with your siblings, everything had merrily turned out great except the part where your mother talked about your embarrassing stories when you were little. This wasn’t so bad after all, Steve was definitely correct for once.

“Okay I have one more joke,” Your boyfriend sighed happily after the amount of laughter shared, your cheeks almost hurt from smiling too much. Steve set down his spoon then proceeded, “What did the grape say when they squished it?”

Everyone on the table shrugged, waiting for the hilarious response from him, Mike being close to burst into laughter before he said anything until Steve cleared his throat to answer, “Nothing, it just whined a little, get it?”

Once the joke was heard, your family surrounded the room with laughter, Mrs. Wheeler happily sighed after catching her breath, getting up to take the dessert plates back to the kitchen, picking one up at a time. Meanwhile your father and sister chuckled, you smiled like a freak towards Steve who was sitting next to you, holding your hand.

“See? I told you you shouldn’t have worried about his,” He whispers softly, giving you a light kiss, smiling as well, “You’re a lovely mess.”

You smacked his shoulder, earning a laugh from him, “I know I know, but at least I’m your lovely mess right?”

”Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Both Nancy and Mike, your siblings chanted with cheeky smiles plastered on their face, being in front of you and overhearing your conversation. Steve leaned in and shut his eyes to peck your lips, suddenly you placed a napkin in front of you to avoid him, catching him off guard. Such small act brought your siblings to laugh at him, he shook his head playfully, sniggering along. Maybe this wasn’t so bad, this brought all of you together, it was okay, no, better than okay. I guess it was just Steve’s lovely mess.

tags — @samiyamuntaha @thepowerstoner @ughgclden

masterlist — request open

[dem-obscure-imagines]

The Kiss of Life

Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Summary: You are an Avenger with the power to heal. However, you didn’t expect to catch feelings for the man you brought back from the dead.

Note: Let it be known that my very first ever Tumblr fanfiction, waaaaaay back in 2015, was a Pietro Maximoff fic about a healer! Reader bringing him back to life. I was obsessed with this man. Still am, lowkey. So, this fic is just kind of me revisiting that idea with about six more years of writing experience.

Warnings: Mentions of death, death (temporary), bulletwounds

Wordcount: 2.7k

On the day of the Battle of Sokovia, you were on board the Helicarrier. Tony Stark had contacted you, knowing the shit would hit the fan, and then Nick Fury had found you and picked you up. As the team’s resident healer, you didn’t actively go out in the field, but you were always on stand-by just in case. And this was one of the days you were glad you were.

You’d taken one of the “boats” to the quickly rising chunk of the city in order to heal civilians. You encountered a young woman who had her leg caught under a piece of rubble. But super-strength wasn’t one of your abilities. Luckily, a certain silver-haired speedster saw you and rushed over to help. You healed the woman and she quickly went over to the boats to be evacuated.

“Are you…” the man asked, looking you over. “You’re with…?”

“The Avengers, yeah.” You nodded. “Are you?”

“I’m new.” He grinned. “I’m Pietro. Nice to meet you.”

“(Y/N).” You offered your hand and instead of shaking your hand like you expected him to, he raised it to his lips and pressed a soft kiss there. You tried to ignore the heat rising to your cheeks. You couldn’t deny he was handsome, and his accent and gorgeous muscles only helped his case.

“Oh shit, your arm.” You pointed out the wound there.

“I was shot.” He nodded, his jaw clenching. “It is not bad, though.”

“Here, let me.” You reached up and held your hand over the bullet hole. Immediately, golden light radiated from your palm and Pietro watched in awe as the spot repaired, his skin closing up underneath the hole in his shirt. “There. Good as new.”

“Thanks. Remind me to find you the next time I get a paper cut.”

You chuckled. “I’m always around.”

The two of you split after that. You went off to help more civilians evacuate and he busied himself with fighting robots.

And then it happened. You were on your way to the boats to help people. You heard the loud noise of a machine gun, and when you looked up, Pietro was standing there, riddled with bullet holes, wobbling on his feet before inevitably collapsing.

You sprinted. You didn’t care about the risks or the danger, you ran as fast as you could to him, falling to your knees at his side and immediately pushing every ounce of power you could muster into his chest, arms, and legs. You felt like your veins were on fire and you couldn’t describe why, but you knew that this was why you were there. This was your purpose and you intended to fulfill it.

You watched as his wounds stitched together. You searched him for more. Anything you could do to make him better.

His eyes were open, unblinking, wide and haunting. His skin was cold to the touch. You knew what you had to do, but you didn’t know if you had the strength to do it after expending your powers all day.

“Can you do it?” Clint asked softly, watching.

“I think so.” You murmured. “I’m gonna try.”

The Kiss of Life, as Tony had dubbed it, was something you had only done once. It had absolutely drained you. You’d been asleep for a few days following it, but it was worth it. It was always worth it.

So, slowly, you leaned in and pressed your lips to Pietro’s pushing everything you had left into his body, from your chest to his. You reached up and felt for a pulse, waiting, waiting, waiting, until suddenly, you felt his vein twitch beneath your fingertips. You felt his chest heave with a breath and immediately released, exhaling a large breath of your own.

He looked up at you, confusion and warmth swirled in his eyes. He stared at you for a long moment, a hand rising to his lips, as if he was looking for confirmation of what you’d just done. He looked down at himself, searching for the dozens of wounds he’d just acquired, but not finding any.

Your head was spinning. You blinked a few times, watching him carefully. He sat up and as soon as he did, you slumped forward into his firm chest, your eyes fluttering shut. The last thing you felt before falling asleep were his strong arms wrapping around you and his soft lips pressing against your forehead.

“Thank you.”

***

You woke up with a pounding headache in an…unfamiliar place. You didn’t recognize the room you were in, but it appeared your things were there, from what you could tell. Oh, and there was a man sitting in a chair pulled up to your bedside, a nervous look on his face. His finger rested on his lip, deep in thought.

You moved, straining to sit up but your entire body was sore, your limbs each screaming for you to stop.

“Hey, hey, careful.” He moved at lightning speed, catching you off guard. He gently moved you into an upright position, resting against the mountain of pillows on your bed. “Easy.” He smoothed the hair off of your forehead and leaned forward to kiss it, long and soft. “You do not feel like you have a fever…”

“I think I’m okay.” You insisted, shaking your head. Your voice was hoarse. You coughed a few times, but half a second later, Pietro was holding a cold water bottle in your face, helping you drink it with careful hands and a doting expression on his face.

“Banner left these for you.” He handed you a bottle of painkillers and you took a few of them, swallowing them down with more water.

“Thank you.”

He didn’t say anything, but you knew he was thinking about it.

Instead, you asked, “How long was I out?”

“A few days.” He replied, his voice soft and low. “I…I was worried…worried that you…”

“Yeah,” you laughed darkly, shrugging. “I…well, some risks are just worth taking, I guess.”

“You barely know me and you saved my life without hesitation.” He said, a million words hiding behind his eyes. He sat on the edge of the bed cautiously, giving you plenty of time to tell him to back off, but you didn’t. “Clint…he said he’s never seen you run so fast.”

“I knew I wouldn’t have much time before…” You shook your head, trailing off. “And I knew I couldn’t let that happen. I got lucky. I was exactly where I needed to be.”

He was quiet for a beat, thinking. And then, all at once, he pulled you into his arms, against his firm chest. You listened to his heartbeat, his breaths, which became ragged as soon as he started sobbing.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. You’re okay. It’s all okay.” You said, your arms wrapping around him, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“Thank you. T-thank you so much. I…I don’t know how to repay you.”

“It’s just my job, Pietro. You don’t have to—”

“I want to, though.” He said, pulling away from you to look you in the eyes. His large hand rose to frame your cheek and you felt a chill run up your spine, heat flooding your cheeks due to his proximity and the look on his face. “Please let me thank you the way you deserve.”

You didn’t know what else to say, so you just nodded, staring up at him. “O-okay.”

“Do you think you can walk? The others want to see you.” He said.

“Um, I can try. I’ll probably be a bit weak.”

“I’ll help you.” He reassured you, helping you remove the blankets on top of you and scoot to the edge of the bed.

You put your feet on the floor, gently easing up until you were upright. You wobbled a little, but Pietro’s arm snaked around your waist for support, helping you forward slowly until you were out the door of your new bedroom.

“Where are we, exactly?”

“New facility.” Pietro explained. “Stark insists it will be safer than the Tower.”

“Gotcha.” You nodded.

He led you out to the main room, where the majority of the team were all sitting on the large sectional couch. As soon as you walked in, aided by Pietro, they all sat at attention. One of them, a young woman wearing a red sweater, stood up and walked up to you quickly, wrapping you in a tight hug.

“Thank you so much. Thank you for saving him.”

“Of course.” You hugged her back. “Us Avengers have to look out for each other. Welcome to the team. You’re Wanda, right?”

“Right. Nice to meet you, officially.” She smiled warmly.

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” You pulled away and as soon as you did, you wobbled a bit, but Pietro immediately held you upright, preventing you from falling.

“Got a new friend there, (L/N)?” Tony chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

“So it seems.” You smiled, letting Pietro help you over to the couch where the others were all situated. “The new place is nice.” You noted. “Very modern. Very sleek.”

“Thought you’d like it.” Tony nodded. “There are still quite a few empty rooms if you want to switch, but, uh…Speedy wanted your room next to his.”

Pietro laughed nervously, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. When you looked over at him, his cheeks were steadily turning red. Cute, you decided.

“Well, I certainly don’t mind.” You grinned. “What are we watching?”

“Disney movies.”

“Hell yesssssss.”

“Told you she’d like it.” Steve chuckled, his arms folded across his broad chest. “How are you feeling, kid?”

“I’m good. Little sore, but good. Should be back to normal in a few days.”

“Glad to hear it.” Steve nodded, smiling.

“Anyone have any papercuts that need healing in the meantime?” You joked.

“Maybe take it easy for now, (L/N).” Natasha chuckled, shaking her head. “Our bruises and papercuts can wait.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

You watched a few movies with the rest of the team, and afterwards, Tony ordered pizza, a very bewildered delivery boy knocking on the door about an hour later. Pietro wouldn’t let you lift a finger, and so once the pizza arrived, he brought you a few slices on a plate with breadsticks and garlic cream cheese dip.

“Thank you, Pietro.”

“Of course.” He grinned, plopping back down in his spot between you and Wanda.

You had only been awake for a handful of hours, and yet you suspected that this constant attention from the silver-haired speedster wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

***

You were right. It was about two weeks later. You’d made a full recovery and were back to your usual level of activity. You were in the training facility doing your daily workout when Pietro sped in. You were on the treadmill, just finishing up, when he strolled over, a grin on his face.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, slowing the treadmill to a stop and leaning against the rails, taking a moment to catch your breath. “May I ask why?”

“One of the interns is making a coffee run.”

“Oh hell yeah.” You took a long sip from your water bottle. “Well, thank you for letting me know.”

“Of course.” He grinned, leaning against your treadmill. “How are you today?”

You smiled, heat flushing your cheeks. You blame it on the workout, but you knew there might be another reason for it… “I’m good, how are you?”

“Good.” He replied. “I’m good.” He paused, holding up his hand, his knuckles red and bloody. “I did hurt my hand, though…”

“Oh, here.” You took his hand in yours and held your other palm over it, letting your power glow for a few seconds until the wound healed up. “There. Good as new.”

He exhaled a breath, clenching and unclenching his hand. With it, he reached up and gently traced your jaw. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against yours, causing a flurry of butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “You’re incredible. So incredible.”

You stared into his blue, blue eyes for what felt like eternities, his warm breaths ghosting across your cheeks. And then the moment was over. He pulled away from you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead.

“Want a ride?”

“To where, the living room?” You laughed. “Sure, why—?” There was a rush of cold air and suddenly, you were in the living room, Pietro cradling you in his arms. “Not.” You looked up at him, tucking a piece of hair back behind your ear. “Wow, you’re fast.”

He grinned and you swore his cheeks got a shade redder than they were previously. “I am, aren’t I?”

You ordered your coffee from the intern and waited for Pietro to order his, but he didn’t.

“Aren’t you getting anything?”

“Oh, I don’t like coffee.” He shrugged, and then winked at you. “But you do, so…”

***

It was a few weeks later. You’d known Pietro for a little over a month at this point. You were in your room, reading. It was getting late and you knew that, but you also didn’t want to go to sleep until you finished the chapter you were on.

You heard a knock on your doorframe and looked up to find Pietro standing there, his hair a tousled mess and dark bags under his eyes.

“Nightmare?”

He nodded.

“Come on in.” You scooted over and patted the side of the bed and immediately, he zipped over. “You okay?”

“Better now.” He said, his voice low and raspy.

You closed your book and set it on your nightstand to give him your full attention.

“Can we talk?” He asked.

“Of course, Pietro. What’s on your mind?”

“I…I don’t even know.” He let out a long breath. “I keep thinking about…that day. And I’m not sure why.”

“Well, it was traumatic. Dying, even briefly, is hard to recover from. Emotionally, that is.”

“Hmm.” He hummed, nodding. “Am I the only one…that you’ve…”

“No. There was one other. Some S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. I don’t even remember her name. It was a long time ago. But those were the only two successful times.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes I’m just…too late. If I don’t get to the body in time…” You shuddered and shook your head. “I got really, really lucky with you, Pietro. If I was any further away, I don’t think…” Your stomach dropped at the thought and you couldn’t continue.

“Don’t think like that.” He said softly, one of his large hands rising to your face. His warmth was incredible, calming.

You leaned into his touch, resting your hand on top of his.

“I’m right here, printsessa.” He leaned in closer. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good.”

“There’s…something else.” He said, his voice wavering. “I don’t think it’s any secret, but, I’ve fallen for you, (Y/N). We are so close and I love it, but the only time we’ve ever kissed was when I was unconscious. I…would like to change that.” He paused, looking deep into your eyes. “But only if that’s okay with you.”

“Oh thank God.” You exhaled a relieved breath, your eyes sparkling and heart racing. “I was worried you were only hanging around me because I saved you. I didn’t think you were into me.”

“How could I not be?” His thumb rubbed your cheek affectionately. “You are kind and clever and selfless and brave, not to mention the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I’d have to be stupid to let you slip through my fingers.”

You were both quiet for a beat before he asked, his voice soft, “So…can I kiss you?”

You leaned in closer until your lips were less than an inch away from his before whispering, “Do you even have to ask?”

Part 2

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime — Fourteen // Wanda Maximoff

chapter thirteen | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | epilogue

author’s note: the last chapter is finally here! i hope you like it 😊

There were many times when I'd get distracted by thoughts of Wanda.

I could be going for a walk and remember that time she tripped over the flat pavement, almost bringing me down with her. I could be shopping for stationary and remember that time she almost bought the whole shop in one visit. I could be sitting by the water fountain and remember that time she tried to make a wish, only to drop her whole purse in it.

This time, I'd just woken up to the sun streaming through my curtains. I rolled over to an empty bed, hand brushing against the cold sheets as they expected more. For some reason, my subconscious decided to taunt me with a memory taking place just after we'd first made love in her room...

"I love you so much," Wanda told me with an enchanting smile.

I turned to face her, one arm comfortable under the pillow as the other rested outside the duvet, covering my bare chest. She raised her hand, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear before resting her hand there. I smiled at the contact and felt a warmth spreading all over me at the affectionate gaze she sent my way.

"I know, love, you only said it several times," I teased lightly, making her chuckle. "I love you, too, though, in case you didn't know."

She sighed contently, eyes closing. I admired how beautiful she looked with her hair sprawled over her bare shoulders, smile on her lips and freckles dusting her skin. Her touch still ghosted my body, taste still embedded between my lips, scent still wavering in my nose. She was permanent and I was certain she'd never leave.

"We should probably get up in case somebody comes to check on us," she said, interrupting my moment of admiration.

Her eyes flickered open slowly, blue with golden flecks glistening right back at me. Suddenly, anything that happened after this didn't matter to me. For once, I appreciated where we were, what we had and nothing more or less. No wedding, no future... just now.

"We should," I agreed regretfully, though her leg moved closer to mine and made me wish we could stay here longer. "I wish we didn't have to."

She smiled halfheartedly, hand moving down my cheek, caressing the skin, before they rested at my chin. She outlined my lips with her thumb before leaning forward and stealing a kiss.

"Can't we have a few more minutes?" she asked, lips brushing mine as she spoke.

She was making it very hard to deny her and judging from the playful smirk on her lips, she knew that.

"I guess we can," I agreed quietly, making her smile with satisfaction.

She rolled on top of me, capturing my lips in a kiss as her bare chest pressed to mine and my hand found her waist for support. As usual, the effect she had on me was indescribable and I couldn't imagine us ever leaving the bed. I knew for sure that I'd never been happier than I was in that moment.

It was such a perfect moment, but it haunted me. Nothing felt right without her. She'd overwhelmed all of my senses and remained, even when I didn't have her by me in person. The wedding was literally in a few weeks, but I hadn't managed to get over her.

How could I be her maid of honour when I could barely speak to her? Not without wanting to curl in a ball and cry afterwards. Every thing I did seemed to be filled with memories of her. She was inescapable.

A groan left my lips as I dragged my hand down my face with frustration. I couldn't let her get to me yet again. I had an interview with the local paper today. The last thing I needed was Wanda as a distraction.

So, with that lovely thought lingering in my mind, I dragged myself out of bed to get ready for the day ahead.

—

Press interviews weren't something I was used to.

Whenever Y/B/N had them with journalists for his books, I wasn't present. The only thing I heard was when he came back and told me how it went, then I proceeded to read about it in the paper the next day.

I was sat in Steve's office at Maximoff Publishing with Steve sat by my side, sending me a supportive smile. A journalist from the local paper sat before us, notebook and pen in hand as he watched on with curious eyes.

"So, Y/N," he began. "I'll start with the obvious, if you don't mind."

I glanced at Steve who nodded encouragingly. Clearing my throat, I looked to the journalist. "Sure thing."

He smiled and glanced at his notebook before asking, "How does it feel to be published? You're Pietro Maximoff's first female author."

"An author who happens to be female," I corrected, hoping I didn't come off as rude. "And that isn't something that should be new, in my opinion. It should be normalised."

He nodded, noting it down in his notebook. "Controversy... I like it."

Swallowing hard, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"I think the readers would like to know how you managed to score a publisher," he began his next question. "How exactly did you get noticed amongst the many authors that look to be published?"

Okay, not so difficult, I could answer that.

"Well, it was actually my–" I paused, Wanda's face flashing to mind. Okay, maybe a little difficult.

"Your...?" the journalist prompted.

I blinked, attempting to find my words.

"Wanda," Steve answered, starting me off.

I looked to him with grateful eyes before looking back to the journalist. "Right. Yes. Wanda."

"Your brother's fiancé, right?" the journalist asked for clarification.

"Yes," I answered, with an accidental clipped tone. "She... she was the one who gave my work to her brother. Asked him to look at it. And the rest is history."

The journalist was making notes as I spoke, nodding and humming in response, before looking to me with raised brows.

"So, the wedding," he said, making me wince subtly. "Are you excited?"

Forcing a smile, I said, "Ecstatic."

"How does it feel to have your two families uniting?" he asked, and I chewed on my lips, unsure how to respond.

"I– er–"

"Are you afraid that Y/B/N marrying Wanda may put him in Pietro's good graces?" he interrupted eagerly, leaning forward in his seat.

I opened my mouth to answer, but I didn't know what to say that wouldn't land me in hot water or make me look like a jealous sibling. Glancing to Steve questioningly, he thankfully noticed my speechlessness and gave the journalist a warning stare.

"Can you stay on topic, please?" he asked the keen journalist. "Y/N is here to talk about her book and nothing more."

"Okay, okay," the journalist gave in, making me exhale slowly. "What's next in store for your readers, Y/N? A sequel, perhaps?"

"I'm not sure," I answered truthfully. "I'm still in awe at the reception from the first one."

He nodded, note taking as he listened. "How many books do you think you'll get out of your career before getting married like your brother?"

I raised my eyebrows with disbelief. But I didn't get to answer as he was already moving onto his next question.

"Are you not worried about getting married? You know, men don't like smart women."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I clenched my fists by my side and was very close to strangling him before we were interrupted. A servant whom I recognised from home knocked on the door and earned everyone's attention.

"Oh, tell him to go away," the journalist said dismissively, waving his hand.

Steve looked to me and I plastered a bitter smile on my lips as I glanced at the journalist.

"I'd let him in if I were you," I told Steve, and he seemed to understand that I was about to pummel the journalist if I wasn't distracted, because he nodded and motioned for the servant to enter.

The journalist sighed rudely and I clenched my jaw before looking to the servant with a quirked brow. He looked out of breath, panting for air and face flushed red.

"Did you run here?" I realised, cocking my head to the side with confusion.

He nodded, straightening up and attempting to catch his breath. "Yes, Miss Y/L/N. Very sorry to interrupt, but your mother insisted I hurry."

My eyes widened. "Oh, God, what happened? Is she okay?"

"Kind of," he answered, before clarifying, "The wedding between your brother and Miss Maximoff has been cancelled."

"What?!" everyone in the room asked at the same time.

What did he mean the wedding had been cancelled?! Wanda and Y/B/N weren't going to get married?

"I don't know the details," the servant got out quickly. "I just know that your mother sent me to fetch you as soon as possible. She's distraught and requires you home immediately."

I nodded instantly, already making a move to stand up, then I remembered where I was.

"You mustn't publish anything you just heard," I told the journalist with a stern finger, but he seemed over the moon at the news.

"Go, Y/N, your mother needs you," Steve said, resting a hand on my shoulder as he, too, stood up. He side-eyed the journalist as he added, "I'll take care of this tool."

At that, the journalist's eyes widened with fear and judging from the smirk on Steve's lips, I knew things would be okay.

"Thank you," I told him, hugging him quickly, before looking to the servant. "I'll go now. Thank you."

After giving the servant some money to grab a treat and calm him from his breathless state, I got a carriage home with my mind racing a million thoughts a minute.

Why was the wedding off? My mum was distraught, according to the servant, so that could only mean it hadn't been her choice. Was it Y/B/N? Had he broken it off? Or maybe it was Wanda? But no. She'd never do that. She wouldn't hurt her family like that.

I wasn't sure what it was, but I definitely didn't know how to feel. This could either be heavily in my favour or go against me in the worst way possible...

When I arrived home, I found my family in the dining room. My mum was sat down, upset and shaking her head in her hands, tear marks on her face. My dad was sat beside her, rubbing her back soothingly and whispering calming things to her as my brother stood to the side, looking apologetic and uncomfortable.

"It's okay, mum, it'll be okay," he was saying to her from across the table. "It's not a big deal. I can find somebody–"

"Hello...," I began awkwardly, standing in the doorway and hesitant to move forward. "I just got the news from our servant. What happened?"

"Oh, Y/N, you shouldn't have–" my father began regretfully, before my mum slammed her hand on the table and glared at my brother.

"Y/B/N broke off the engagement!" she shouted with frustration.

"There you go...," my dad mumbled before returning his attention to his wife.

"Mum, I–"

"You did what?!" I cut Y/B/N off with raised brows. "You broke off the engagement? You dumped Wanda?"

He looked to me with sad eyes. "Y/N–"

"You idiot!" I shouted, feeling angry as I imagined the effect this must have had on the Maximoff family. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you–?!"

He grabbed my waving arm and dragged me out of the dining room, making me shove him off when we reached the hall.

"Why the hell did you break it off?!" I yelled at him with a glare. "Why would you–"

"I didn't!" he whisper-shouted back, looking down at me with a downcast expression. "She did!"

My anger faded as I realised he was telling the truth. He looked genuinely hurt, eyes glassy and a frown on his lips. Wanda was the one to break it off? What?

"She broke it off with me," he elaborated quietly, so our parents couldn't hear. "She told me this morning. She said she didn't love me and that she couldn't marry me."

I swallowed hard, looking away from him momentarily. "Why did you tell mum and dad that it was you who broke up with her?"

He pinched his forehead with agitation. "Because it looks a lot less foolish if I say it was me rather than her. She doesn't love me, Y/N. She never did."

I risked looking at him, seeing his disheartened expression. Part of me felt guilty because I knew it was my fault this had happened, but I couldn't exactly say that to him, so I stayed quiet. He shook his head once more before walking away, leaving me standing there with shock.

"Er, Miss Y/L/N?"

I spun around when one of our servants approached me.

"I know now isn't the best time," she began, "but a letter came for you earlier. I left it on your desk as you were at work."

Nodding, I offered the servant a halfhearted smile before watching her leave. There was so much to unpack right now...

I headed upstairs and to my room to see what letter was here for me. But I was finding it hard to focus since all that was on my mind was the broken engagement and Y/B/N and Wanda... I needed to see her. What the hell was I doing here?

Planning on going to see Wanda as soon as possible, I grabbed the letter from my desk with the intention of reading it on the way out, but then I recognised the handwriting on the front and paused at my desk.

It was Wanda's handwriting.

I hurried to tear open the envelope, wondering what she had to say. It was no doubt related to the broken engagement.

Dearest Y/N,

I hope that you manage to read this letter before you hear the news, but knowing our families, you'll read it afterwards. In which case, you will know that I have broken off the engagement with Y/B/N.

It was the right thing to do. I chose to do it and I'm sorry if it's caused tension between your brother and your family, but I knew that I couldn't go forward with it when I'm in love with you. I'm not expecting you to come back to me and run away together all dramatically – this isn't about that.

I did this for myself. I'm not in love with your brother and I never was. He should have known that. He had to. Because if not, I'm afraid I broke his heart. And that's the last thing I wanted.

I also did this for you. I need you to know that I'm not heartless or horrible and I didn't expect you to sacrifice anything for me. Cheating on your brother with you... I never meant for this to happen, nor did I mean to get in the way of you both. Falling in love with you was completely accidental, but I don't regret it.

I don't want to go on too much, but I just needed you to know the truth, from me, that I am truly sorry for causing you such pain. I'm still in love with you and I'll never forget what we had. In another lifetime, maybe we could have worked. I'm certain that you were always perfect for me, as was what we had. You are magic, Y/N. I just wasn't powerful enough to keep you.

When I finished reading, I flipped the page over, expecting to find more, but it was blank. She'd ended it there and I didn't know what to think. My heart was racing, mind adjusting too slowly for my liking. She'd broke it off with him for me. I knew she loved me, but I guess I'd never realised just how much.

After recovering from my shock, I put the letter away and left for Wanda's, not bothering to tell my family where I was going. My dad was attempting to console my disappointed mother as Y/B/N moped around somewhere else, so I took that as my chance to nip out without them noticing.

I was trying to plan what to say to her – I didn't even know what I wanted to say to her. She said she didn't expect me to get back with her, and even without Y/B/N and their engagement in the way, we still couldn't be together. Not like how we wanted to be. But I wanted to. I wanted her. All this time without her had been heartbreaking – I didn't want to leave her again. I didn't know the specifics of how we would work, but we could work. We had to.

When I reached her house, it was her mother who opened the door. And that's when I realised that I wasn't sure if she blamed Y/B/N or her daughter for the engagement breaking apart.

"Iryna, hi," I greeted with a nervous smile. "I'm sorry if this is a bad time–"

"Y/N, I'm glad you're here," she cut me off, immediately pulling me in for a hug. "Thank you for coming."

I nodded with mild confusion, returning the hug, before pulling away.

"I'm so sorry for the pain Wanda has caused to your family," she said regretfully. "I hope that your parents aren't as distraught as we are."

I eyed her strangely, still not sure what Wanda had told her. Either way, I didn't bother questioning it as my urgency to see Wanda was overpowering my curiosity.

"It's okay, Iryna, there's no need to apologise," I reassured her. "My family will be okay... I just thought I'd come and check in on Wanda. It's a lot, what happened."

She nodded sympathetically. "Thank you, sweetheart. You're such a good friend to her." She stood to the side to let me in. "Go on up. She's in her room. Hasn't come out since this morning."

I offered a small, awkward smile Iryna's way before letting myself in and going upstairs to Wanda's room. My palms were sweaty and my mouth was dry – stupidly juxtaposed – when I stopped before Wanda's door. On the way over here, I still hadn't decided what to say. I figured it would just come to me when I saw her. One could hope.

Knocking on the door, I heard her sweet, accented voice give me permission to enter. My stomach flipped at the sound and I did as she said. Closing the door behind me, I turned and saw Wanda sat at a stool before a canvas.

Noticing I didn't say anything, she glanced over her shoulder casually, probably expecting a family member. She widened her eyes when she realised it was me and immediately stood up, smoothing out her paint-covered smock in an attempt to look neater. The simple action warmed my heart – she was adorable and I couldn't help but smile.

"Hi," I said quietly.

She cleared her throat, eyes darting around nervously. "Hey. I didn't– what are– hi."

I let my eyes wander, admiring her messy ponytail and the strokes of paint on her face that she definitely wasn't aware of. She was stunning, even with her confused eyes and pursed lips. Better yet, her hand was ring-free and I was reminded of the fact that she wasn't engaged anymore.

"I assume you're here because you read the letter," she began apologetically, but I didn't let her finish because the longer I was in her presence, the more I realised I wanted to kiss her.

Approaching her, I found her eyes before pressing my lips to hers. My hands cupped her cheeks as I held her close, revelling in her taste and scent and touch. She was quick to react, her fingers curling around my waist and tugging me towards her, squeezing our bodies together. Breathing became a problem and we regretfully had to pull away, but remained close enough to exchange breaths and swim in each other's eyes. I'd never been more relieved to see the colour green.

"You're not mad," she realised, looking between my eyes as if trying to search for some anger.

"How can I be mad that you broke off your engagement for me, knowing we can never be together in the way that you deserve?" I asked with disbelief.

She smiled beautifully, making my heart flutter in my chest. "You still love me."

I stole another kiss from her lips. "I never stopped, Wanda. Of course I still love you."

She rested her forehead to mine and closed her eyes peacefully. "Thank you for coming back."

I laughed, feeling tears brim my eyes. "I'm not leaving again, love. We'll find a way to make this work. I promise you that."

Wanda Maximoff deserved the world. And I was going to give it to her in this lifetime and beyond.

[wolferine]

Heart Skips a Beat - Part 3

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Natasha faces her worst nightmare when a rescue mission goes wrong…

Warnings: Violence, blood

Word Count: 2065

Part 2

Tags: @blkmxrvel @blackxwidowsxwife @marvelwomen-simp @phoenixofash @marvels-bitch-boy @when-wolves-howl

Despite your super soldier enhancements, it takes a few days before you’re cleared from the medical bay. The bullets you had been shot with were identified as hollow point sniper rounds—basically the biggest, baddest of the bunch. If you had been a normal human, your insides would’ve been shredded to pieces and you would’ve died before you even hit the ground.

You’re retired to light duty while you recover, which is painfully boring and dull. You attend physical therapy to strengthen your body, but sometimes you push yourself too hard and stumble back to your and Natasha’s room with blood staining through your bandages. She always chastises you for hurting yourself, but secretly admires your dedication and will never pass up the opportunity to help take care of you.

One week after the condominium collapse, you join Steve, Clint, and Natasha for a private meeting with members of the Miami Police Department and the FBI. As Steve had suspected, the collapse wasn’t an accident. Someone had deliberately taken out the concrete supports in the parking garage with explosives.

“We couldn’t have just phoned that in?” you whine from the backseat. Clint is in the driver’s seat, Steve next to him. You and Natasha sit in the back. “I mean, they drag us all the way across the city, just to tell us something they could’ve sent over text—” 

“Information like that, the less people to intercept the message, the better,” Steve mutters, staring out the window as the car zooms down the highway.

“I don’t know about that,” you dismiss, and Natasha side-eyes you. She knows you’re just cranky because Steve interrupted your morning cuddle with her. There isn’t much you can do intimately when you can barely twist your torso, so you have to make due with what you can.

“You know, Y/N, you are the one this guy’s after,” Clint points out. “So, if anything, you’re the only one that needed to show up.”

“Oh, please.” You roll your eyes. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a psychopath coming after you—” 

THUD.

Everyone’s head turns to the roof of the car. You swear you see the imprint of a hand dented in the metal.

“What the—”

Natasha suddenly leaps out of her seat and into your lap. She wraps her arms around your neck, yanking your head down.

“Hey!” you shout in protest, but then you hear a bullet whiz behind your head and feel the foam of the headrest cushion spray the back of your neck. Still in your lap, Natasha kicks Steve’s shoulder, causing him to hit his head against the window before a bullet zings through his headrest. Following her example, you kick Clint’s seat and he jolts forward, the bullet missing his head by inches.

“Stop the car!” Steve yells, crunching the gear shift into park.

The tires burn rubber and the car slides back and forth before coming to a grinding halt. Cars behind you honk and swerve around you. A figure goes flying off the roof of the car and lands in the road, rolling to their feet. They wear a black vest, revealing their left arm to be completely made out of metal overlapping plates. Their hair is chin-length and a mask covers the lower half of their face.

Suddenly, an 18-wheeler semi-truck, unable to stop in time, slams into the back of the car. The trunk crumples like an accordion, and you instinctively tighten your grip around Natasha to shield her in case the semi-truck tears the car in half. But it doesn’t, instead pushing your car towards the masked figure, who doesn’t even bother to step out of your path.

They jump onto the hood and punch their metal arm through the windshield, grabbing the steering wheel and tearing it right out of the car. When the masked figure disappears onto the roof, Natasha takes out her gun and starts shooting, but her efforts are fruitless.

There’s no way for Clint to control the direction of the car anymore and it’s too dangerous to stay inside with the masked figure close by.

“Hang on!” Steve says, reaching across the front to grab Clint. In the same motion, he slams his shoulder into his door, knocking it off its hinges. Both men go flying out of the car.

“That looks like a good idea,” you mumble, anchoring your arm to your own car door, the other pressing Natasha against you as tightly as you can. “Hold on, babe.” You ram your shoulder into the door with all your strength, ignoring the pain that rips through your stomach.

The door tears away from the car and turns into a makeshift sled as you go skidding down the highway. Sparks fly from the grinding contact of metal on the concrete road. When you finally come to a stop, Natasha stays on top of you, drawing her weapon and scanning for the masked figure. 

Meanwhile, the masked figure has hijacked the semi-truck, but instead of plowing you over, they turn to tip the entire vehicle over so it blocks every single lane of the highway.

“Where are they?” you pant, trying to lift your head to see the commotion but Natasha forces your head back into the car door. “Nat, stop—” 

“No!” she says. “They’re after you, remember?”

You don’t like the idea of her risking herself for you, but it’s a sweet gesture.

“Where are they?” you ask, unable to see.

“I…I don’t…” Natasha sounds confused. Suddenly, she takes off without warning. You don’t question it and run after her. Steve and Clint are engaged in an intense hand-to-hand match with the masked figure. The masked figure knocks Steve to the ground and wraps their metal hand around Clint’s neck, lifting him off the ground.

You put on a burst of speed, overtaking Natasha and launching yourself at the masked figure’s metal arm. They drop Clint instantly and you wrap your arms around the metal one, but it’s like trying to contain a bucking bull. You jerk your elbow back into their face to stun them, but it has no effect. The masked figure flings out their metal arm and you lose your grip.

You crash into the concrete highway dividers and the impact almost knocks you out. You feel your stitches tear open and you start bleeding underneath your shirt. As you stagger to your feet, you see the masked figure over Natasha, pinning her down and pulling their metal arm back, ready to deal the killing blow—

“No!” you scream, charging towards them. You catch the masked figure’s metal arm again, locking out their elbow and holding it against your chest. Natasha rolls out of harm’s way and Clint jumps into the action, launching himself at the masked figure’s legs and sending all three of you to the ground.

Natasha swings her leg around and kicks the masked figure in the face. The mask falls off. You and Clint struggle to hold them down as Steve walks up, blood dripping from a cut in his forehead.

“Bucky?” Steve says suddenly, stopping in his tracks. 

“Who the hell is Bucky?” the man snarls.

“Help!” you choke, not sure how much longer you can hold on to his writhing metal arm. But Steve is frozen the same way Natasha had been when she saw you get shot. “You need to get in here, Steve!” you yell, and suddenly Bucky goes limp. You and Clint exchange confused glances.

“Wait, what?” Clint says.

“What happened?” you ask, hesitantly releasing the metal arm, which flops to the ground. “Why’d he just stop like that? Did I say his safe word or something?”

“What, ‘Steve?’” Clint laughs in spite of the tense situation.

“Apparently.”

Steve is in too much shock to bite back at your jibe.

“I’ll call for reinforcements.” Natasha takes charge. “We’ll bring him back to the Tower.” She comes over to you and touches your side gently, reminding you of the blood staining through your shirt.

“I’m fine,” you assure her, reaching out to run your thumb over the bruise forming under her eye. She closes her eyes and leans into your touch. “Let’s hope that Steve is, too.”

***********************************************************************

Bucky is detained in the holding cell at the Tower and Steve goes to speak with him privately. Afterwards, he regroups with the rest of you. Clint relaxes at the kitchen counter with a beer, while you and Natasha sit on the couch together. She holds an ice pack against your stomach and frets over the fresh swelling in your shoulder.

“So, I’ve got some good and bad news,” Steve says.

“You can start by telling us who that guy is,” Clint interrupts.

Steve shifts uncomfortably. “He’s…an old friend of mine. My best friend, actually—”

“You know, that’s the same thing people thought about me and Nat at first, but obviously we’re more than that—” you start.

“Bucky was also involved in the super soldier program,” Steve continues, ignoring your comment. “But he was under HYDRA’s control for decades. They were the ones who sent him after us. And…” Steve takes a breath, “We were wrong about who his target was. He wasn’t after you, Y/N. He was after me.”

“But he shot Y/N,” Natasha says.

“Twice,” you add.

“No.” Steve shakes his head. “Bucky was trying to shoot me. Y/N was just in the way.”

“In the way?” Steve’s logic—or lack of it—makes your head hurt. But as Natasha thinks about it—she’s always been the smarter one in the relationship—it makes complete sense. Her mind flashbacks to the scene of the condominium collapse, where all four of you had gathered on the street after you rescued the last victim. Her and Steve stood across from you and Clint. The bullets had come from behind you—if you hadn’t been standing where you were, Steve would have been hit instead.

“I don’t think you would remember this part, Y/N, but when Nat and I were trying to get you in the ambulance, we were shot at two more times,” Steve explained. “But the bullets hit the sideview mirror and the windshield. Those were places I was in, not you.”

“Okay, so why’s he trying to kill you if you’re his best friend?” you ask.

“It’s all HYDRA’s doing. He told me he’s part of a task force that was created to kill off the Avengers. Specifically, the original six, so there’s six of them in the task force. He’s the only one that got out, and he said the other five are being held in a facility in Siberia. He wants our help to free them,” Steve says.

“So, this Bucky guy wants to work with us now? After he took down a 12-story condominium and almost killed Y/N while trying to kill you?” Clint asks.

“Please, Clint,” Steve begs. “Bucky’s my best friend—”

“A best friend who tried to kill Y/N! And you!” Natasha argues. She lowers the ice pack from your stomach and you frown at the loss of contact. “You know I love you, Steve—”

“Not as much as me,” you mutter under your breath, guiding her hand to put the ice pack back against your side.

“—But I’m gonna need you to do a little better than that.”

“I need you all to trust me,” Steve pleads. “If we have intel telling us that there are five super soldiers in existence, who are programmed to take down the Avengers, isn’t it on us to do something about it?”

“How do we know we can trust Bucky?” Clint asks.

“Well, if he does go rogue, at least we know his safe word,” you answer with a chuckle.

“If you trust me, you’ll trust him,” Steve promises.

You glance at Natasha, who is looking at the floor, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You stretch your arm over her shoulder, pulling her towards you and bumping your heads together.

“What should we do?” you whisper so quietly only she can hear.

Her free arm snakes around your waist, closing the gap between you and her, your bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. She rests her head against your shoulder. “Trust Steve,” she says.

“Okay.” That’s enough of an answer for you. You press a soft kiss to her temple and look back at Steve. “So, what did you have in mind?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Click here for Part 4!

AN: I love taking inspiration from many places, and the inspiration for this part is the awesome fight on the highway from Captain America: Winter Soldier. Thank you to everyone for the continued support!

[jobean12-blog]

Iris

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,263

Summary: Bucky has a rough night and afterwards he needs some reassurance. 

Author’s Note: This is for the HBC’s @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ 24 hour surprise drabble challenge: Inspired By Song Titles and @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ Hamilton Lyric Challenge and the prompt: I’m never gonna stop from Guns and Ships. Also, my beautiful friend @nano--raptor​ had sent me a request for a Bucky fic based off of the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls so I thought it was perfect for this. I love this song and I hope you love this! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤ PS I PROMISE IT ENDS HAPPY :) 

Warnings: Angst at first but it’s soft and filled with love and the end is fluffy mostly and it has a happy ending! :) 

“Steve. Steve!” You hear him fumbling with the doorknob and you wait with a knot in your stomach for him to open the door. He yanks it open, almost too hard, and stands there looking disheveled and half asleep. “What? What’s wrong y/n?” Your fingers hurt from wringing your hands together and your voice is hoarse from crying, “I can’t find him. I don’t know where he is.”

Steve’s forehead crinkles in worry and he takes your hand, pulling you in for a hug. “When did you see him last?” Your body shakes with your tears and Steve patiently waits while you to catch your breath. “Everything seemed fine last night. We had dinner, watched a movie and read together before bed. But then he had a nightmare. He hasn’t had one is so long. And when I woke him up, he looked so scared and broken. I thought he had gone back to sleep but when I woke up this morning he was gone.”

You can feel Steve’s shoulders sag, your own already bowed under the weight of your worry, “ok, it’s ok. I think I know where he might be.” Wiping your eyes with the back of your hand you sniffle loudly and pull Bucky’s hoodie tighter around your body. “Just gimme a minute to change.” You nod and wait on the couch. Your heart is in your throat and you try to stop your body from trembling with each breath.

“Ok. Come on.” Steve leads you out the door and onto the street. He walks fast, his arm looped through yours and his hands in his pockets. When you reach the small park Steve stops and looks down at you, his eyes soft, “he loves you. More than anything. You have to remind him that you see him for who he really is.” You squeeze his hand, “thank you Steve.” He watches you walk into the park, “call me if you need anything. I’m not far.” You wave and turn the corner, sucking in a breath when you see Bucky sitting on a bench, his head dropped low.

“Bucky?” You can barely hear yourself over the beating of your own heart but when he looks up it’s as if everything comes back into focus. He stands and starts to move toward you, his long legs making the trip short as you launch yourself into his open arms. He holds you so tightly to his chest you can’t breathe but this time it doesn’t feel like you’re dying, it feels like home.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He says it over and over and you hold onto him like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. “I shouldn’t have left. I’m just scared. I’m still broken. I can’t lose you.” You can feel his large body shake with emotion and your heart breaks all over again. “Bucky. I love you. I love you more than anything in world. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

He walks you to the bench and sits down, pulling you into his lap, “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I want to be everything you need but I’m afraid people will think I’m not good enough. They only see me as one thing.” The tears that fall from his eyes match your own and you touch his face, brushing the stubble that lines his cheeks before gently running your thumb along his lips. “I see you Bucky. I see every piece of you, and I know who you are.” Your hand slides down his neck and rests against his chest, over his beating heart.

His metal hand covers yours, his thunderous heartbeat slowly becoming steadier, “I don’t wanna go home yet. Can we stay a bit longer?” Your lips touch his in a barely there kiss, your eyes locked on his, “I want to be wherever you are Bucky. You’re all I need.” His lips are warm when they meet yours, his hand curling into your hair and tugging you closer. “Bucky, I love you. I’m never gonna stop.”

Resting his forehead to yours he lets the words sink in and wash over him. When his eyes meet yours again, they look clearer and more alive. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me.” Your brush the hair away from his face and cradle his jaw, stroking your fingers along his cheek, “that’s all I want to do.” He leans into your touch and closes his eyes before he kisses the palm of your hand and curls his own around it.

You sit quietly, just breathing in each other and letting the world melt away.  It isn’t until you hear the loud bark of a dog that you lift your head, smiling when a large fluff of white bounds toward you. The dog’s tail is wagging a mile a minute and Bucky reaches out to pet her, quickly pulling his hand back when he realizes it’s his metal one. You take his wrist and pull him forward, letting the dog sniff it. The dog’s nose wiggles this way and that before she nudges her head under Bucky’s hand for pets.

Bucky beams and scratches behind the dog’s ears, laughing when she positions her butt between his legs for more pets. “She definitely likes you.” A young man comes rushing over, panting and trying to catch his breath, “I’m so sorry guys! She loves the park and got away from me in her excitement.” You smile brightly and notice he’s wearing a shirt from the animal rescue nearby. “Oh, it’s no problem. She’s an absolute sweetheart! I think she loves my boyfriend.”

Bucky gives your waist a little squeeze and continues petting the dog. “I can see that. It’s great because to be honest she’s been really shy around most men, so this is really good.” It’s hard to tell who’s happier and you ask, “is she available for adoption?” The guy nearly bursts with joy, vigorously shaking his head yes. Bucky looks up, first at you, your eyes excited and hopeful, then to Winter. “Want to take a walk?” You jump off his lap with a squeal and the volunteer hands Bucky the leash, “she’s a great girl. I can tell you more about her while we head back.”

You walk hand in hand with Bucky, listening to Winter’s story and how she came to the rescue. You can tell Bucky is smitten and Winter clearly reciprocates the feeling. His shoulders seem lifted and his smile is genuine. When you reach the rescue Bucky pauses, handing the leash back to the volunteer, “can you give us minute please?” Winter whines but goes inside and Bucky takes your hands in his. Holding your finger to his lips you quickly speak, “before you say anything I just want you to know that dogs are an excellent judge of character.” Bucky smiles and dips his head, “I know. “I just. I need to say this. I love you. You’ve found parts of me that I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.”

It’s hard for you to find the words to respond, your eyes now wet with fresh tears, so you kiss him and hope that all you’re feeling comes through with it. When you finally pull away for a breather, Bucky’s eyes are still closed and he brushes his nose against yours, his whispered “thank you,” telling you everything you need to know. Later that afternoon, you make your way back home, now a family of three.

@addikted-2-dopamine​ @bugsbucky​ @bisousbucky​ @buckstaybucky​ @breezy1415​ @buckys-henley​ @book-dragon-13​ @chuuulip​ @eurynome827​ @hiddles-rose​ @hailmary-yramliah​ @hawksmagnolia​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @ikaris-whore​ @jhangelface0523​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ @jewels2876​ @loricameback​ @lorilane33​ @lookiamtrying​ @lokilvrr​ @littledarlinhavefaithinme​ @littleredstarfish​ @marvelandotherfandomimagines​ @marvelgirl7​ @nano--raptor​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @randomfandompenguin​ @sallycanwait68​ @tuiccim​ @the-wayward-robot​ @this-kitten-is-smitten​ @yansi1923​ @sassenachsansa​ @nerdypinupcrystal​

[zealous-whispers-of-us-redux]

on hands and knees

(A/N: I have been planning a Bucky longfic off and on for two years. Idk if it will EVER be written or posted, but this is a little drabble. Inspired by Hozier's "Work Song.")

Summary: Bucky thinks of her and her God in the cavernous silence of war.

Sweetheart,

If I close my eyes and think about it hard enough, I can imagine that I’m back home, lying in bed with you next to me, looking so pretty that I don’t know what to do with myself. I had you in my bed for a week, and what I wouldn’t have given to have made it last the rest of my life. We didn’t do half of the things I promised all those months ago, but I don’t think it mattered much in the end. I had you for a week, and that’s all an unlucky guy like me could have asked for.

I couldn’t believe it when you were there waiting for me as casual and sweet as anything, like I didn’t just leave you days before. It was the best surprise that I could have asked for, seeing you again before I was dropped into this Hell.

The shelling was constant now. If you were one of the unlucky ones, you’d hear as bullets or shrapnel met their marks and brought down men, leaving nothing but a puddle of blood and a sharp yell that rang in your ears for minutes afterward.

It was here in his foxhole when Bucky found himself thinking of God. He’d never been particularly religious, mostly because he could not imagine why some guy in the sky would be so cruel as to make the sweetest people suffer the worst. When he was young, his Ma had tried her best to teach him the chants and the prayers. Steve also took him to Mass, and he helped his friend memorize Bible verses until they could recite them in their sleep. But it never truly resonated with him. Bucky couldn’t understand the point.

That is until he met his sweetheart. The very first picture she had sent him, she had been wearing a cross. Seven to Bucky's nine, they had become acquainted through a pen pal program. She began as Steve's pen pal, but that was the winter that he was sick and spent more time in bed than out. She had sent letter upon letter upon letter until Bucky got so tired of it that he responded himself. Bucky fell in love with a pretty girl at least once a day, so it was easy for him to love her, too. But never in a million years did he think they would meet face-to-face. He thought he was the luckiest bastard ever to exist when he found out her relative ran the camp he was supposed to train at. It was there, amidst the muck and mud of Camp McCoy, that Bucky found God in the taste of her secret kisses.

He thought of her in those rare moments of loud silence where the only thing you could do was wait until the shelling started up again and until the bombs rattled the ground. With every jingle of the lucky Saint Barbara medallion she had gifted him, Bucky thought of her, thought of the love of his life. The dirt under her fingernails, the quirk of her lips, the unruly curls in her hair. The slow way she spoke. She was soft lines and smudged nail polish with hair blowing in her face. A run in her stocking that got worse until she got a new pair. She grew up half-living on her uncle's farm, doing math problems in the dirt. When she visited Bucky in New York the week before he shipped out, she had only packed one dress.

It was still the best week of his life.

It was Coney Island and riding the Cyclone under the setting sun. It was sugary sweet kisses and twirls on the dance floor that left his toes hurting whenever she stepped on them. It was necking in alleyways on the way home from the movies, a proposal that led to them falling into bed together. Though they hadn't been together face-to-face long, Bucky had known her all of his life. They were planning a wedding for when he returned.

Dawn was quickly rising around them as Bucky sighed sadly, itching to return to his favorite dream. He wanted this horrible war to be over. He wanted to take a real bath, have a delicious meal, and then go to sleep in a real bed with a real woman curled around him. She slept like the dead, Bucky remembered. Nothing roused her, not even the noisy streets of Brooklyn.

He pulled out a letter she’d written him ages ago after she turned down his first proposal. It was crinkled and barely legible under the fading light, but Bucky had the words memorized. He traced the edges with a careful thumb, imagining her huddled over at a desk and taking ages to figure out what she wanted to say. He smiled as he began to read:

Bucky,

I am not as good with words as you are. I hope you aren’t too sore at me because I have some explaining to do, and I want you to hear it. I am sorry it took so long.

War is in my family’s blood. My grandad fought in Puerto Rico, my great-grandpa down South. My papa and his brother were involved in the Great War, although their experiences were vastly different. My papa says his little brother got the brains of the family, which is why he joined the QMC. War didn’t touch him there, not really. He can still talk about his experiences with delight, his eyes lighting up whenever someone asks him about his heroism. Then he takes one look at my papa, at his leg that ends above the knee, and goes silent. No one asks Papa what he saw. We know better. I never knew him as he was before the trenches. Mama always talks about how right after he came home, she would catch him standing in the corner of their bedroom in the middle of the night. He would stare at the wall and talk to himself. What he saw at night, she never knew, and he never remembered it the next morning.

When I talk to him about it, he tells me little. He always says that he doesn’t believe in much anymore, but he believes in love. God leaves you in war, and my mama was the one who helped him find his way out of the trenches. I know that I am not one for taking risks, and I know that I am quite dull compared to what you’re used to, but I am like my papa. I believe in war, and I believe in love. We could be bombed by the Germans tomorrow, and you would never know how I felt. And I am sick to death of hanging my toes over the edge and waiting for the courage to jump. My mama and papa fell in love through letters. I suppose we did, too.

I hope you come back to me, sheik. But if you don't, we'll always have McCoy.

Tucking the letter back in his pocket, Bucky sniffled. It stank out here. Blood and dirt and gunpowder and sweat and smoke coated his lungs. The perfume she had sprayed on her letter had faded long ago. He wanted to feel clean again. He felt a pang in his chest as he looked down at his fingernails, dirtier than hers would ever be, and hoped he would get out of this alive and make his way home to her.

“Barnes!” someone shouted for him.

He stood up. The war was due to erupt any second now.

[spideyfanclub]

Frozen Battlegrounds, Ch. 4

Warnings: 18+, light swearing, mentions of violence.

Characters/Pairings: the slightest Sharon/Steve, mainly just Sharon Carter.

Summary: The real search begins.

Sharon’s head swirled endlessly with thoughts of him in her recovery room afterward. She felt knocked into a world other than the one she knew so well. She always knew that the world was not black and white. That nuances existed. That good and evil can—and do—exist at the same time. But until that scorching bright afternoon facing the Winter Soldier, she realized that she'd never truly understood it.

No, let’s be honest, she’d thought to herself. I never truly believed it. Not until then.

It was only a few days after Steve’s battered body being found and the pillars of S.H.I.E.L.D crashing down that both he and Nat were called back to Avenger duties. Sharon couldn’t help but taste a little bitterness at their departure. As they boarded the jet that evening, Nat fell back with Sharon as the three approached the landing area.

“You’re gonna need this,” she said casually, dipping her hand suddenly into Sharon’s cross body handbag. “If you plan on finding him.”

Sharon’s heart leapt as she glanced at Nat. Her knowing eyes pierced through any attempt at a play-off she had. She sighed. “Listen, Nat. I—”

“Don’t need help. Yeah, I know,” the redhead waved her off. “A head start won’t kill you, though. Every second he has gives him more time to disappear. Trust me."

They reached the private jet, the setting sun setting the sky ablaze with pinks and oranges. Nat stuck out her arm smoothly, and Sharon took it, mouthing a “thank you.” Her grip surprised the agent, so firm and sure for her small frame.

“Good luck,” she said softly, and her fiery hair flashed up the steps to the jet door in almost a blink of an eye.

Steve was standing nearby, his arms folded with a somber look on his face. His jaw was still faintly bruised, with fading blue on the skin around one of his eyes. When their eyes met, he smiled that classic golden boy smirk.

“I have to say, the rough look really works for you,” Sharon said sweetly, approaching his tall frame. “Like one of those greasers you see in the movies.”

Steve scoffed lightly, his gaze sparkling. Were his eyes a bit sad? “Just a little bit out of my era, doll.”

They were close now. Very close. Sharon could smell the captain’s woodsy cologne, could hear his breathing. Calm and deep. They didn’t look away, and her heart thundered in her ears.

“So,” she took a breath, glad it wasn’t audibly shaky. “Back to more saving the world stuff again?”

“That’s what we do, right? Just another day in the office, for you and me both.”

“You should take a vacation, Captain.”

“You could use one too, Agent.”

They chuckled at each other, their high and low laughs blending. The sky was very slowly deepening, and hues of rich purple began to cool the colors the sun was leaving behind. Steve abruptly lifted Sharon’s hand to his lips, kissing it very gently. The warmth and softness made her gasp slightly. As Steve looked up, his expression was playful. His thick eyebrows tilted mischeviously. Sharon flushed bright red, clearing her throat as she struggled to regain her composure. She broke the silence.

"Well, I don’t want to hold you waiting. Keep in touch, okay?”

“Promise. If you need me, you know where I am.”

He seemed to hesitate and slowly released her hand, nodding warmly and began making his way up the steps to the jet. Sharon slowly backed away, and turned on her heel once they were far enough up in the air to barely see her.

A lump rose to her throat as a brick of guilt sat in her stomach. Finally making it to the building’s parking lot, she fumbled with her car key and fell into the driver’s seat. Shutting the door behind her, she sighed as she allowed one tear to slip down her cheek. There was so much she wanted to say and do. Steve…is there ever going to be a right time? For us?

…No.

But it wasn’t Steve’s voice that reverberated through Sharon’s head. It wasn’t her own, either. It was his. The soldat’s. The voice he had when he told her he didn't remember.

Those wide and deep blue eyes flashed through her brain again, sweeping away the last twenty minutes for a moment. All of those minutes except for one. You’re gonna need this.

Sharon snapped out of her trance and rummaged through her bag. Then, she felt it. A small, hard object, not unlike the one she had received in her favorite take out place that seemed an eternity ago. The dim light in the car shone a smooth black USB drive. She stared at it, as if it had teeth or legs that would carry it away from her hand at any moment.

Sharon dropped it into a smaller pocket within her bag, zipping it back up carefully. Why was Nat trying to help her? What would she have to gain on giving her a lead to finding Bucky Barnes? How did she even know that was her plan?

It was, of course, her plan. Now that S.H.I.E.L.D was over and another world crisis was avoided, Sharon had allowed herself the truth of her focus now on Barnes. She couldn't fully understand why, but she needed answers from him. She needed to help him. Saving Steve’s life at that very last moment confirmed it for her. He was freed, at least from any immediate brainwashing. And now the black-clad phantom had disappeared again. Where was he? What was he thinking about at that moment? Did he wonder if anyone was thinking about him? Sharon couldn’t fully explain it. She just…needed answers. From him.

So, Nat, why would you help me? No one at that recon meeting was very happy about my little impromptu hero moment with the Winter Soldier. But they so easily brushed it off, accepted my explanation about buying everyone more time. And I thought you did, too. But did you see? Did you see something in my reasoning that the others didn’t?

The agent snorted to herself. Of course she did. Honestly, a small part of Sharon would’ve been very disappointed in Nat if she didn’t. But she also didn’t expect her to lend her a helping hand. To almost push Sharon towards Barnes. Was she doing that in an attempt to push her further from Steve?

Sharon knew it wasn’t, but she had to consider all angles. Natasha Romanoff was no longer living as a ruthless assassin with morals and goals to twist to her own benefit. No, Carter knew those kinds very well. Rather, the Black Widow had been reforming herself. Changing. And while she had no specific interest or goal in helping her that she could see, she certainly didn’t mind doing so anyway. Ha. Who knew spiders could morph into butterflies?

The agent’s car rumbled to life, and she backed out of her spot and made her way out to the street. She would be meeting with some CIA big wigs tomorrow morning, and wanted to use her window of time tonight as much as possible. Every second that slipped past would only make the wintry blizzard storm harder.

*************

Good and evil, good and evil…good and evil, good and evil, good and evil. Is a good person who was forced to become evil, truly evil? And if they weren’t, what does it mean if that evil becomes a part of them? Does it taint their good?

It turns out the actual "good" guys weren’t as good as Sharon thought for all these years. The Nazi extremist group HYDRA had secretly been a part of S.H.I.E.L.D all along, and the organization scattered to bits. Natasha Romanoff was now under fire by the justice system for everything that had occurred, despite saving the lives of millions just a couple of years previously. And a world class HYDRA assassin had fallen off the face of the earth after saving Captain America’s life. What the hell did make any sense?

Sharon always hated to delve into these parts of ethics. Truth be told, she always avoided these kinds of conversations. To be an agent is to understand the gray areas of life and people. However, she was used to the gray parts being much easier to understand. Take a case of a group of hackers trying to access high confidentiality government information for their own gain and control. The hackers would be the "bad" side, committing crimes with evil intent, ultimately hurting innocent people with what they do. S.H.I.E.L.D would be the "good" side, stopping this crime with everything they had.

Of course, things will never be that simple again.

It had been three weeks since Nat gave Sharon the drive and the agent was still poring over what she'd seen. Some of the vets at the C.I.A often joked about her brooding face. Others peered at her suspiciously. After all, the S.H.I.E.L.D/HYDRA scandal shook the intelligence world. As far as a few were concerned, Sharon Carter may very well be a double agent who was able to remain under the radar. There was no doubt at least a group of followers left with all intention to carry out HYDRA's work. Could the blonde really be as "good" as she appeared to be?

Regardless, the truth of Sharon's thoughts were entirely different. The information on that drive was a big file with several attachments within it. Attachments which contained as much intel on two people as could possibly still exist.

Documents, IDs, pictures, reports. Both the life soldat and Bucky Barnes had been recorded, to an extent. Apparently, what wasn't destroyed by the hands of time or by the sneaky tentacles of the HYDRA empire was collected here on this little device. To be honest, it was all extremely fragmented. From his childhood to being a soldier. The lie of him dying in battle that erased him from the world. Even some tidbits on his role as the Winter Soldier. Small pieces that had huge gaps of a much bigger picture. Sharon couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at Nat at first. Then, she realized the Avenger only did what she could. This would have to be enough. It would have to be.

Sharon was determined to track him down. She pored over the files night after night, trying to reason out if anything there might hint at where Barnes would go. She ruled out the U.S. fairly quickly. He wouldn't be dumb enough to stick around. There's way too much heat all over the place here. However, he'd be cautious regardless of where he went. The file also contained three of the several HYDRA "missions" Barnes was sent on as the soldat: an ambassador in London, a chemist in Arizona, and the nuclear engineer in Iran. The last report being there made sense, since Natasha was the one escorting the engineer at the time and would have some intel.

To be clear, there wouldn't be any obvious answer to Barnes' potential plans in these reports. He was under extreme mind control, after all. In fact, these were most likely memories he was trying to forget right in that very moment, if he even remembered them. But Sharon didn't give up. Maybe he could be in a place that had a special meaning for him? The agent went back to the older documents, attempting again to squeeze something from there. While there was very little, Sharon's eyes snagged something on her bright computer screen she'd initially dismissed. A letter, or rather a piece of it, was in a PNG file. It was a snippet of what Bucky wrote home to his sisters in his earlier days as a soldier---all those years ago--- sometime early 1941.

It was very difficult to read. It was a picture of the piece of letter itself. There was no typed translation alongside it, so it was in a faded, slanted writing that was surely Barnes'. After nearly an hour of adjusting and editing the overlays of the images to make it legible, the agent rewrote the words into a small notebook at her desk by her lamplight:

"...It's been freezing here. Sarge stays on us about staying tough through the nights. That sometimes in battle, it'll be a lot colder. Can you believe that? I swear I never thought it could get colder than the city. Joey and the other five of our guys are always saying its a joke that we couldn't train somewhere like California, where it's a helluva lot warmer this time of year. Doesn't matter to me, I'll always be thinking of a hot bowl of managnia. Did you guys make any New Years resolutions? I slept through midn--"

At first, Sharon laughed a little at this little piece of writing. Imagining the same man she met that day at a California beach, swaying in a hammock with a straw hat was hilarious. Not to mention, it definitely wasn't a place to lay low. After another chuckle, she waved it off. At first.

Now, she sighed, leaning back on her desk chair and biting her lip. The dim bedroom was quiet, except for the news playing on her TV at a low volume and the faint hum of the running computer. Could he? She thought. Could he really be there? It was hard to shake the feeling that something was off. Missing. Her eyes scanned her notebook again. It stopped on the translated word she had initially struggled with.

That word. "Managnia." When the agent first read the snippet, she assumed he meant marinara. However, upon closer inspection in her attempted translation, she found some letters where very different. And even if not, would they be marinara meatballs? A calzone? If that's the case, he wouldn't describe it as a "bowl..."

At that point, the agent came to the obvious conclusion: she'd spelled the word wrong. She assumed it to be English, but maybe it was something else? She racked her brain, staring at the word in her notes. Maybe she could get some help from his name? After all, "Buchanan" was definitely a little unusual. None of the other attachments had any information that specified his parentage. Apparently, "Buchanan" is Scottish in origin. Was Barnes Scottish?

Sharon made sure not to get too excited just yet. She searched up Scottish foods that began with the letter "m", but with no success. That word was still glaringly out of place to her. However, the damn ink was too faded for her to read it fully. She swore under her breath and tossed the pen onto her desk, rubbing her eyes. Dammit. Is there no way I can get this in clearer print?--

Suddenly, her eyes shot open. She sat up straight and opened a new window on her computer, fingers flying across the keys. She was still in D.C. It was almost as if destined to be. She bought out the ticket on that website and heard it ping to her email. She sent up a little prayer in the darkness of her apartment that night. Please. Let me be getting closer.

The following day, as the sun reached the middle of the blue sky, Sharon's car wove through the streets. The destination was at the bottom of her phone screen, in small white text: Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Smut

Chapter 10

* * * * * * 

Eyebrows shoot up into your hairline. E/c eyes blinking in surprise.

Across from you stands the entire team, in front of them is a large breakfast spread, and balloons. 

You smile with a shake of your head,“ what is all this for?” 

Tony smiles, rounding the corner to stand at your side. His arm circles your shoulder,“ as of today, you have officially been with us for a year.”

“Awe, guys this really didn’t have to be celebrated.” You tell them, once again looking at all the food on the counter. 

All of them instantly wave you off a layer of replies rolling over you varying from “you deserve it” to “Tony just wants to party” which makes you laugh. 

Said billionaire picks up two champagne flutes and hands one to you. 

“Y/n, this is to a year of being the greatest of friends, a shoulder to cry on, and pretty much the most important member of this team.” Tony holds his glass up and everyone follows in agreement.

Most important member is a stretch in your opinion but they all seem to think so. 

Taking a sip, you realize this orange juice is mixed with champagne. Which you should’ve expected from Tony. 

Everyone starts to dig into the breakfast, chatter filling the room like it usually does throughout the facility. 

“Y/n, congrats!” Peter exclaims, happily wrapping you in a hug that you return.“ I can’t believe it’s been a year. It’s like just yesterday I was learning your name right? And now we’re like best friends.” The boy rambles.

Chuckling, you give him another one armed hug,“ I was starting to see you as more of a little brother actually.”

His brown eyes light up, just like they had on Christmas.“ I’ve never had an older sister before.” 

“I know.” You chuckle again.

He smiles brightly once again and gives you another hug,“ I’m glad we met Y/n.” 

“Me too Pete.” You rub his back and then pull away. The both of you then going to fix a plate.

Setting your overflowing plate(thanks to Tony’s persistence) on the table, you move to pull your chair out, only for a certain redhead to pull it out for you. 

“One full year huh?” She winks at you and sits in the chair next to you. 

One year with the team and six months with her. 

All that time seemed to fly by in the moment but looking back on it now it’s like more than a year. A year of building these incredible friendships and the most important relationship you’ve had. 

“Crazy right.” You breathe a laugh.

Natasha leans towards you, arms supporting her on the table,“ call me corny but, this has been the best year of my life.” 

Your hand reaches up to cup her cheek,“ I couldn’t agree more,” the two of you meet for a short sweet kiss,“ also you are corny.” 

Laughing, the woman rolls her eyes and kisses you again. 

“As cute as you two are, I’d rather eat my food without all the PDA.” Wanda’s voice invades the small moment. 

“Sorry Wan.” You smile softly at her.

The younger woman waves you off,“ I was only joking. Partly.” 

When the rest of the team sits at the table, you take a moment to thank all of them. Not just for the breakfast but for being so welcoming and just incredible in general. 

All the relationships you’ve built wouldn’t have happened without them. And you wouldn’t have been able to help them if they didn’t trust you. 

They raise another glass to your thanks and Tony tells you it’s only the tip of the iceberg since he’s throwing you a party later. You’re quick to tell him that’s not necessary but he informs you it’s all planned already. 

There hadn’t been a “Stark Party” in a while according to the team. Sam and Peter were quick to thank you, saying they didn’t think there’d be one if you hadn’t showed up. 

You hadn’t been to one of Tony’s parties in years. Since long before both snaps. 

So you are, admittedly, excited for it. After you’ve gotten dressed you wait an hour after the party had started, as Tony asked you to, before heading out. And even though you were expecting the surprise, the number of people that shout “Happy One Year!’ to you startles you.

An excited laugh leaves your lips and once again Tony approaches you first. 

“Okay,” you nod,“ I’ll admit this is pretty great.” You smile at him as the two of you hug. Pulling away you then look to his wife.“ Pep, it’s great to see you.” 

She squeezes you tightly,“ I hate that you’ve been here a year and we’ve barely spent any time together.” 

Your eyes widen in agreement,“ I know. It’s been way too long since we’ve had a wine night.” 

Together the two of you quickly plan a night to do so. Pepper then urging you to go mingle. And you do, making your way through the large crowd of people, those you’ve met and others you’re positive you’ve never seen before. 

Until you approach a pair of both someone you know and someone you’ve only heard of.

“Y/nn!” 

A smile bursts across your face the second she smiles at you. The blonde woman’s energy contagious. 

“Carol! I missed you.” You hug her close, reminded of the months it’s been since she was last here.“ You didn’t have to travel all the way through the galaxy for this but I’m glad you’re here.” 

Her hands rub your arms as she pulls away,“ me too. I’ve missed you.” She then steps back, hand resting on the back of the woman you assume to be her girlfriend,“ Y/n this is Maria Rambeau. Maria this is Y/n.”

Maria smiles at you, holding her hand out,“ Carol’s told me a lot about you, it’s a pleasure.” 

“Oh, the pleasure is all mine. This one doesn’t shut up about you when we talk.” You say teasingly, chin nodding to Carol who’s cheeks tint pink. 

The smile Maria sends to Carol is full of nothing but love and adoration. And if there was ever any doubt that Carol loved her, the smile she returns throws it out the window. But you knew.

Your body stiffens in shock when a hand presses to your lower back and you quickly relax once the familiarity of the soft skin and cold temperature hits you.   

Your girlfriend smiles over at you and you don’t even fight the urge to place a kiss to her cheek. Afterwards looking back at Carol and Maria.“ Maria this is my girlfriend Natasha. Tash this is Maria, Carol’s girlfriend.” 

“Nice to meet you. Carol’s told me a bit about you.” Natasha nods to the woman.

All the while Carol is smiling proudly at you, which you shake your head at in amusement. 

The blonde quirks a brow,“ girlfriend huh? And how long has that been going on?” Her tone is teasing and curious. 

Brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, you mumble,“ six months.” 

Carol’s proud smile becomes knowing and you swear the heat rushing to your face could be felt around the room. 

Natasha, being the god send she is, excuses the two of you. Gracefully pulling you through the crowd to the designated dance floor. 

She pulls you to stand in front of her. Those cold hands circling your waist, hands locking behind you at the dip in your back. 

Focusing on this moment, your eyes scan her face, taking in her perfect lips, her cheekbones and those tiny dimples, and those eyes. God you swear those eyes were the start of it all. 

“You’re so pretty Natasha.” Your hands grip her hips a little tighter.

A smirk curves her lips,“ and you’re beautiful.” 

Despite your blush, you jokingly add,“ well you’re gorgeous.” 

She laughs, forehead resting on your shoulder,“ getting competitive are we?”

“Maybe a little.” You kiss her temple just before she lifts her head.

The two of you continue to sway to the lowly playing soft music, completely entranced by each other’s presence. 

For the last six months the two of you have reveled in these moments together. Some days you could spend together completely. Others you had to steal minutes throughout just to see each other. But it was all perfect.

Learning about Natasha has just proven to make you fall for her more and more. You could safely say your list of reasons why you like her has become reasons why you love her and it’s definitely grown longer.

As all good things come to an end, you’re pulled from your moment with Natasha, by the hand on your shoulder. It’s unexpected which startles you but you’re further startled by the force of the emotions hitting you.

You spin around and lock eyes with Bucky. The anxiety you’d just felt from him is hidden in his eyes, had he not touched you, you wouldn’t have known. 

His jaw clenches,“ can we talk?”

“Of course.” You nod, hand squeezing Natasha’s waist as you mumble an excuse me, and walk away with Bucky. 

Once in an empty hallway he turns to you, his feelings now showing. Fingers wringing together, his teeth abuse his bottom lip, and his eyes remained trained on the ground. 

Knowing not to touch him unless told to, you choose to speak softly,“ Buck, I can tell you’re incredibly anxious. What’s going on?” 

“I-” he swallows and when his eyes meet yours there are tears welling in them,“ I saw someone. Someone from HYDRA. I- I don’t know if I’m seeing things or if they were actually here.” 

This was a recurring problem with Bucky. One you’d discovered while taking him and Steve to the mall one day. Being in such large crowds overwhelmed the man, triggering his anxiety which in turn triggered hallucinations. 

When you addressed it then he revealed that he’d been experiencing these highly anxious moments for a while. The first time the hallucinations had him was months before you’d gotten there while he and Steve were out together. 

At that point you’d begun working him through breathing exercises. Coming up with ways to help him cope with the anxiety so that it wouldn’t reach a point where he hallucinated. 

“Bucky breathe. Five seconds in and out.” He starts to do as instructed. 

You then walk him through his five steps. Listing five things he can see, four things he can hear, three things he can feel, two things he can smell, and one thing he can taste. 

He’s calmed down but you can tell he’s still anxious.

“Hey,” your hands rub his arms,“ I’m gonna make it go away okay?” 

Brown eyes look into yours and he nods. 

Taking a deep, stilling breath in, you take away his major anxiousness, and project the happy excitement you’ve been feeling to him. 

Bucky brightens instantly, giving you a small smile, and squeezing your arms.“ I- thank you Y/n.” 

“Anytime Buck.” 

You wait for the man to disappear around the corner before collapsing to the ground. Your back presses to the wall as you breathe heavily. 

“Y/n?”

Overly anxious, you involuntarily jerk away from the redhead beside you. 

The woman’s heart races as she looks at you, eyebrows pinched together,“ Y/n what’s wrong?” 

“Just- hold on.” You speak through deep breaths. 

Natasha waits with you until you calm down. When your body finally untenses and you sag against the wall, your girlfriend moves to kneel in front of you. 

Fingers grazing your legs she asks, with a soft demanding tone,“ what was that?”

“It was nothing. I’m fine I promise.” 

“That wasn’t fine. When you left you you were fine. Just now, you looked like you’d seen a ghost.” She presses. 

You push your hands up your face and through your hair,“ I didn’t. I was just-”

“Using your powers on Bucky.” She finishes, an almost hard look setting in her eyes. 

Her words take you by surprise. 

When she found out about your powers is lost on you. And what did she know about them? 

Eyes wide, you can barely ask what she’s talking about before she speaks again.“ Have you been using your powers on everyone this entire time?” 

“I- yes.” 

“And you weren’t going to say anything?” She stands. 

Following suit, you stand as well,“ I was going to tell you but I didn’t want to worry you. And I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t handle it-”

A deep frown covers her brow,“ you never even gave me a chance. Am I correct in assuming you’ve been lying to me then? All those times I came to see you after your session and you told me you were fine?”

“That wasn’t necessarily a lie. I was fine it just took me a minute.” 

“Necessarily?” Green eyes narrow at you.“ Lying is lying I don’t care how technical you want to get about it. I do care that you’ve constantly been telling me to trust you and be honest, yet you’ve been lying since the beginning.” 

You open your mouth to protest or object but she’s right.“ Tash I’m sorry okay. I swear I was planning to tell you.”

“Planning or not, you lied. You could’ve just told me you weren’t ready to talk about it. How was lying the better option?” A deep sigh leaves the woman’s lips and she runs a hand through her hair, before simply turning to leave. 

“Wait Ta-”

She holds her hand up,“ don’t follow me Y/n. I need a minute. Just go enjoy your party.” 

With that she leaves you in the hall alone. And you can only blame yourself.

* * * * * *

taglist: @username23345 @muffliat-o  @aaron-despair @natasha-danvers​ @wildhoney32 @criminallyhamilton @fayhar @nat-km-mh @chicken-wang09 @trikruismybitch

[tuiccim]

Terrigenisis (Part 5)

Pairing: Avengers X Inhuman!Reader

Words: 4852

Summary: After undergoing terrigenisis unwillingly your life is turned upside down when you are deemed too dangerous to return to life as a civilian. You are put with the Avengers team to train and rebuild. As you hone your powers and skills, you must also decide if you can find home and love again. Or is your curse to be a lonely wanderer forever?

Part 1  / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

—————————————

That afternoon you find Steve and Bucky in the kitchen when you go to get a snack. 

"Hey guys. What are you up to?" You smile at the two..

"Nothing really." Bucky says. 

"Got any big plans?" You ask.

"Just planning on working on our bikes." Steve says.

"That reminds me. I was thinking the other day that I would love to do some cruising. Can I borrow one of your motorcycles?" You look at both the supersoldiers being sure to keep your expression benign. 

Steve and Bucky exchange a look. 

"Uhhh…"

"You see…" They spoke at the same time. 

"There's kind of a, uh…"

"Code."

"Code! With motorcycles."

"Right. Ya know, rules."

"Like you don't sit on someone else's bike unless they give the okay."

"And… and… Bikes are sort of, uh…"

"Sacrosanct."

"Right! You know, like, really personal and, and…"

"It's not something you let people borrow, ya know?"

"Yeah! Not… not that we don't trust you."

"Right. Total trust, but bikes…"

You interject, "Are sacrosanct?" 

"Right." They both look at you with near panic written across their faces. 

You start giggling, "That was the funniest thing I have ever seen you two do. That was some vaudeville crap. FRIDAY, did you get that on record?"

"Yes, Ms. (L/N)." FRIDAY responds.

"Send the video to my phone, please." You can barely get the words out between laughs.

"Transfer complete." FRIDAY responds.

Steve and Bucky are staring at you in bewilderment. You explain, "My dad was a biker. He and his coastie buddies. I just had to see how you'd react."

“Really?” Bucky deadpans. 

“Serious. They had a whole crew of weekend road warriors. All in love with their bikes.” You grin.

“And what are your plans with that video?” Steve asks. 

“To keep it forever for my viewing pleasure. And maybe show Natasha and Wanda.” You smirk.

“FRIDAY,” Steve starts to say and as quickly as you can you begin to send the video to Nat and Wanda in hopes of disseminating it before whatever Steve was about to do. "Erase that video and delete it from her phone."

"Voice authorization required." As Friday speaks, you engage a firewall you programmed on your phone. Time to find out if you could compete with Tony when it comes to hacking.

"Rogers, Steven Grant." Cap looks at you with a smirk. 

"Video removed from all Stark systems. Unable to access Ms. (L/N)'s phone." FRIDAY says.

"Sorry, Cap." You smirk at Steve. Carefully, you pick up your phone and, deciding your pockets are too easily accessed, you pull the collar of your shirt out and slide the phone into your bra. 

"Why can't FRIDAY access your phone?" Bucky asks.

"I might have programmed a firewall onto it, ya know, just in case." You begin to slowly move towards the elevator. You are trying not to giggle as you feel your phone ding repeatedly. Wanda and Nat got the video.

Steve and Bucky exchange a look and when Steve gives a curt nod, they both advance on you. "Give me your phone." Steve says.

"Nope." You tuck tail and run, but of course you don't get far before a metal arm wraps around your waist and picks you up off the ground. You struggle for a moment but then decide to use a different tact. Bucky sets you down and takes hold of you by the upper arms. Steve stands in front of you in a full authoritative captain pose. 

"Give me the phone." Steve repeats.

Straining against Bucky's grip, you push your chest out. You look up at Steve with doe eyes and say, "It's right there." Before glancing down at your chest and looking back up at him. Unfortunately, you can't hide your smirk as Steve glances from your face to your chest several times. "What's the matter, Cap? I thought you wanted my phone." 

After a few more seconds of Steve's indecision, you're pulled back against Bucky and he wraps his arm around you, pinning your arms to your sides. "Steve's too much of a gentleman, Doll." Bucky says in your ear as his hand slides along your collarbone to the collar of your shirt and pauses. You look up to Bucky with eyes wide. "Don't worry. I won't take any liberties." Bucky smirks.

"You don't think putting your hand down my shirt and in my bra is a liberty? I do believe there are some strict sexual harassment guidelines for both Stark Industries and SHIELD that would beg to differ. Besides, judging from the amount of dings on my phone, Natasha and Wanda have already seen the video." You grin up at him. 

"Clever little minx." Bucky grouses.

"Wanna know what they're saying?" You look at Steve. 

"Let her go." Steve says in a defeated tone but he has a small smile on his face.

Bucky let's go of your arms but his hand remains at your collar. You trail a hand along his arm and slip it past his hand to retrieve your phone and open your messages. Bucky backs a few steps from you and you wink at him. 

Nat: That was classic! 🤣

Wanda: They looked like they were gonna have a heart attack!😂☠️

Nat: They were stumbling over themselves to keep your hands off their 🏍️!

Wanda: They couldn't just offer to take you for a ride? They had to defend the thought of someone touching their bikes! 😂

Nat: I'm sure neither of them would mind taking her for a ride. 😜

Wanda: Nat! 😂

Nat: You know I'm right.

"They say you guys looked like you were gonna have a heart attack at the thought of someone else touching your bike." You grin, deciding to leave out the second half of the conversation. 

"What else did they say?" Steve narrows his eyes at you.

"That you could have at least offered to take me on a ride." You smile as you look between the two.

"I'll take you out on my bike, Doll." Bucky smiles at you.

"It's been a while since we just took the bikes for a ride." Steve says. "We should take an afternoon to go cruising like you suggested."

"I'd love that." You clap your hands  and grin looking between the two. They chuckle at your enthusiasm. 

“Tomorrow afternoon?” Steve says.

“How about after training in the morning? I’ll pack a picnic.” You smile at them both.

“I’m game.” Bucky looks to Steve. 

“Sounds good, sweetheart.” Steve grins at you. 

“Should we invite any of the rest of the team?”

A look passes between Steve and Bucky before Bucky answers, “Nah, let’s just keep it the three of us. Clint is headed to the farm, the couples won’t mind some alone time, and Sam is headed to DC for some meetings.”

“Okay. I’ll see you guys later, then.” You head to your room. Finally, something to do besides train and missions. You can’t wait.

That evening you, Nat, and Wanda are sitting in your room, rewatching the video of Steve and Bucky and giggling. You get around to telling them about your plans with the guys the next day. 

“Wait, you are going on a date with both of them?” Wanda exclaims. 

“What? No! It’s not a date. We are just going out for a ride on their bikes.” You say. 

“Alone? With just Steve and Bucky?” Nat says. 

“Yeah. They’re my friends.” You defend. 

“But you know Bucky has a thing for you.” Wanda says. 

“How do we know that?” Nat looks between the two of you. 

“Game night. That kiss?” Wanda says emphatically.

“It was just a kiss! It didn't mean anything." You say.

“Ohhhhh, no. Wanda is right. Bucky does have a thing for you.” Nat says. 

“Oh, please, he does not. I’m the only available female living on the compound. That's the only reason you two want to pair me up with him so bad.” You roll your eyes. 

“Oh, please, yourself! You’re beautiful, funny, smart! How could they not be interested?” Wanda states. 

“And how can you blame us for enjoying the free entertainment. Plus I happen to know Steve has a thing for you, too.” Natasha smirks. 

“No, he doesn't! Stop.” You look at Nat in horror.

“Why else would he call you Doll all the time? Don't you like Steve?” Natasha looks at you. 

“I'm his friend. It's just a nickname. Of course, I do. He’s a sweetheart. I think you two are reading way too much into my friendship with them. I just, I mean, even if they were interested, I’m just me. They’re Captain frickin’ America and the Winter Soldier! Why would they ever think like that?” You put your head in your hands. It was frustrating you couldn't just tell them that Steve and Bucky are together. It would stop all of this nonsense.

Wanda laughs, “You mean they’re gorgeous, have incredible abilities, are sweet and kind and fun, right?”

“Yeah.” You say. 

“She just described you. You are gorgeous, have incredible abilities, and a sweet, funny personality. You guys are perfect for each other.” Nat smirks.

“Guys, please, please stop. It's just not like that with them. We're friends and that's it. Okay?” You scoff at their knowing looks. “I’m gonna go to bed. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Night.” 

“Sleep tight.”

Their giggles trail behind you as you head to your room. As you get close to your door, you can hear Steve and Bucky in Steve’s room. You aren’t trying to eavesdrop but your hearing ability makes it difficult not to overhear conversations.

“I just don’t know if this is gonna work out, Stevie.” Bucky grouses. 

"All we can do is ask. We trust her, right?" Steve says.

“Yeah.” Bucky says.

Your brows furrow at the comment and your mind runs amuck for a moment before shaking away your thoughts. You hurry past, putting your earbuds in to avoid hearing any more, and slip into your room quietly. 

Training the next morning flew by in your excitement. Afterwards, you hit the shower, change into motorcycle ride appropriate gear, and go to the kitchen to put together the picnic. Bucky and Steve come in just as you are finishing packing the little cooler. 

"You look great." Steve says. "The boots are a good choice."

"Thanks. You guys ready?" You can't hold in your excitement and are grinning like a fool. 

"Yeah. I'll get the cooler, Doll." Bucky offers returning your smile.

When you get to the garage, Bucky sets the cooler on the back of Steve's bike much to Steve's annoyance.

"Really, Buck?" He grouses. 

"I carried it down. Only fair, right?" Bucky elbows him. 

"Yeah, thanks. I get a hard cooler in the back and you get the beautiful dame." Steve throws an elbow back at Bucky and then stiffens, turning to look at you. 

You laugh and wink at him. "Tell ya what, I'll ride back with you and Bucky can have the empty cooler." You look at Bucky, "Only fair, right?"

"Right, Doll." Bucky chuckles. He hands you a helmet and you climb on the bike behind him. You'd be lying if you didn't admit that your body reacted to the closeness of his, the intimacy of holding on to him, and the vibrations of the bike. You cruise out and the wind whips around you. 

Steve and Bucky speed ahead of each other alternatively. You hear Bucky laughing. You grin over at Steve who is laughing at their escapades. He looks so happy and carefree as you head into the middle of nowhere. You rarely see any other cars and the scenery is beautiful as you speed down winding roads.

“This is great!” You hollar over the rumble of the engine. Bucky revs in response and you squeal. You can feel Bucky’s body rumbling with laughter. You wish you could see his face. 

Nearly an hour and a half later, Steve slows and veers into the woods with Bucky close behind. They slow down and you can’t tell if they are following a path or not. They are carefully weaving through trees and undergrowth until you reach a small clearing under a huge oak tree. 

Steve stops and turns to you and Bucky, “What do you think? Good for a picnic?”

“I think it’s perfect!” You say, already getting off the bike. The guys grin at each other and turn their bikes off. Steve retrieves the cooler and Bucky pulls a blanket out of his saddlebag. You spread the blanket under the branches of the oak tree and pull all the food out. 

“This looks delicious.” Steve says as he tucks into one of the hearty sandwiches you had made him. Fruit, cheese, crackers, hummus, and some bottles of water and soda round out the menu. 

“Hopefully, it tastes delicious, too.” You laugh and Steve nods while chewing. 

Bucky looks over at you after swallowing his bite of sandwich, “Thanks for making the food. It is delicious.” 

He mugs a face at Steve and you giggle as Steve says, “Jerk.”

“Punk.” Bucky replies. 

“Goofballs.” You pipe in. They both snap their heads to you and you shrink into yourself a little feeling like you’d interfered in their playful banter. “Sorry.”

“Goofballs? That’s the best you can do?” Bucky throws a grape at you. 

“Asshats.” You throw the grape back. 

“Ohhh! Okay, that’s better.” Bucky laughs. Steve grins and shakes his head. 

“What was it like growing up in the Coast Guard?” Steve asks.

“A lot of moving. My dad was stationed in Mobile, Alabama when I was born until I was 4, then Boston until second grade, Northern California for 4 years, Alaska for two, back to Mobile through high school. My dad was sent back to California then and I went to college in Louisiana. It was interesting because I got to live in different places with different cultures. It’s hard with friends. I still have my best friend from high school I keep in touch with. Most of the others faded away. My dad was great. He did everything he could to be a good dad.” You shrug. “What was it like growing up when you did?”

“Way different.” Steve laughs.

“You don’t have to put newspaper in your shoes anymore.” Bucky chuckles. 

“No Penicillin. Food wasn’t as good. Fewer people you were connected with but closer connections.” Steve says.

“Yeah.” You say quietly, staring off. 

“Hey, doll, where’d you go?” Bucky says.

“Sorry.” You give a small smile. “Just, connections are hard. Especially when you don’t stay in one place for very long. I thought that part of my life was over and, here I am, right back in it.”

“What do you mean, sweetheart?” Steve says. 

“I moved so much as a kid. Lost friends and nowhere was really ever home. And then I thought it was over. Charlie and I built a life and made a home. And then… terrigenesis. And I’m in SHIELD and it starts all over again. Two months to close out my old life with an agent constantly looking over my shoulder cause I can’t go back, six months of bureaucracy and evaluations and therapy, six months with one team, then I get moved to the Avengers team, and I guess in some ways I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. When am I gonna have to move again? Will I ever have a home again? Like I said before, limbo sucks.”

“You’re not going anywhere, doll. You’re stuck with us.” Bucky smiles sweetly at you. 

“Bucky’s right, sweetheart. You’re an Avenger. This is your team now. Your family.” Steve says. 

“Thanks. I hope you’re right.” You look between them before leaning back on your elbows and looking up at the branches of the oak tree. “This tree is amazing.”

“Beautiful.” Steve says, but when you look at him he’s looking at you not the tree. You mug a face at him. Looking back up at the branches you make a quick decision and begin unzipping your boots. You pull them and your socks off before walking under one of the lower branches. 

“Steve, give me a boost.” You turn to him and say. 

“You’re gonna climb the tree?” Steve asks as he gets up and walks over. 

“Yup.” You put your hands on his shoulders as he cups his hands for you to step up. You grab the branch and pull yourself up to it. You climb as far up as you can safely reach and looking down you can barely see Bucky or Steve who are staring up at you. 

You hear Bucky say, “I’m gonna take a walk.”

“She’ll be fine, Buck.” Steve tells him.

“Yeah.” Bucky keeps walking and you feel bad knowing he must hate heights from his past accident. You hadn’t thought about it before deciding to climb. You had just wanted the free feeling of being up high and maybe a minute to yourself. Your feelings were confusing you. Both Bucky and Steve treated you with respect and sweetness. It would be easy to fall for one of them and you reminded yourself often to not let your heart get ahead of your head. You take a few more moments sitting on the branch taking in the view and the freedom before moving back down. As you lower yourself from the bottom branch, you feel strong hands grip your waist. You let go and are gently lowered down.

“Have fun?” Steve asks, smiling down at you. 

“Yeah.” You smile back at him. He lifts a hand to your cheek and lowers his face closer to yours. “Steve!” You put your hand over his. “What are you doing?"

"I was trying to kiss you." He smiles at you.

"What about Bucky?" You ask.

Steve's brow furrows, "What do you mean?"

“I… I mean, I know about you and Bucky. Why would you try to kiss me?” You say.

“How do you know about me and Buck?” He asks. 

You give him a look. “I didn’t mean to overhear. But I can’t help it sometimes. I can’t keep headphones or earplugs in all the time.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asks, calmly.

“I assumed you’d tell me when you were ready.” You shrug. “I didn’t want to force you into telling me something you weren’t ready to. Steve. Why did you try to kiss me?”

“Because he has feelings for you. We both do.” Bucky surprises you. You hadn’t heard him approach.

“What?” You look at him confused. 

“Let’s sit down, sweetheart. We want to talk to you about something.” Steve takes your hand and leads you back to the blanket. You sit down and put your socks and boots back on as Steve begins to explain. “You know our story. We were separated for 70 years and came out of it having lost pretty much everyone we ever cared about. We’re all we have left of our old life and…”

“And we don’t want to live separately.” Bucky picks up when Steve flounders. “We love each other and want to live our lives together. And when we realized we were both attracted to you. We hoped that you might be willing to be with us. Both of us.”

“Both… both of you?” You look between them. 

“Yes.” Steve fidgets nervously.

“Like, as a beard?” You ask. 

“No! Never. Like, as our girlfriend.” Bucky says.

“Girlfriend?” You say as you are trying to wrap your mind around this unexpected development. “As in a polyamorous relationship?”

“Right.” Steve says.

“How, how would it work?” You are intrigued by the idea. Immensely, if you are honest with yourself. You had felt attraction and emotion for both of them and felt like there was something there with each of them but this wasn’t how you expected this to turn out. 

“We would all be together. As equals. You’d be our girlfriend and we’d be your boyfriends.” Steve says. 

You nod slowly, “And you both want me?”

Bucky and Steve look at each other for a moment and smile. “Yes.”

“You haven’t noticed us flirting with you like crazy?” Bucky smirks. 

“I thought you were just being goofy with me. I mean, I thought you two were together and had no interest in me. Not like that.”

“Do you have more questions?” Steve asks.

“How, um, physical is your relationship?” You feel a bit like a creep for asking, but it would inform how things would work. 

“Fairly physical.” Steve says. 

“So, how would sex work?” You ask. 

A lightning quick look passes between them. Bucky grins, “Pleasurably.”

“Hopefully so, but what I mean is, will it be all three of us all the time?” You bite your lip.

“Yes. Unless one of us is on mission or away. It has to work every way for it to work, I think.” Steve says. 

“Say, you’re gone to a meeting and Bucky and I… ? Will that create tension, jealousy, anger?”

“Will it if it’s Bucky and I, while you are gone?” Steve turns the question around on you. 

A corner of your mouth goes up as you picture walking into the two cuddled up post-coital. You only feel caring when you consider your feelings and theirs. “I don’t think so. What about the team? Would we keep this a secret?”

“I’d like to keep it quiet until we’re sure if this will work out. I don’t want to cause tension in the team and it’s not the most conventional relationship. I think it would be a good idea for them to know you and Bucky are together. We'll work up to the rest.” Steve replies. 

"Is that what you want?" You look to Bucky.

"It's absolutely what I want. As long as it's with the two of you." Bucky says.

“Have you been in a relationship like this before?” You ask.

“No. This would be a first for us. We’ve both dated, but not since we decided that this is the way we wanted our relationship to be.” Steve says. 

"Are you sure you want me? I mean, why? Why me? Is it just that you're both attracted to me physically?" You ask.

"You're beautiful. There's no denying that, Doll." Bucky hooks some of your hair behind your ear. "But you're also smart and funny and loving. When Steve and I talked about this we knew that even if you turned us down you wouldn't judge us. Wouldn't spread it around for amusement." 

"We knew we could trust you. That's not easy. And you're amazing. Gracious. I don't know how anyone wouldn't want you." Steve says while taking your hand.

"So, is that a yes? Or a maybe?" Bucky asks, taking your other hand.

“Or you’ll think about it?” Steve’s looks at you with concern.

You look between the both of them, knowing there was only one answer. You pull their hands together so that you are holding their hands between both of yours. "If any of us are ever hurt by the others, we talk about it together. If one of us wants out, we talk about it together. Open communication, always. If you can both agree to that, then… then it's a yes."

"I can agree to that." Steve says, adding his other hand to the top of yours.

"Agreed." Bucky places his hand on top of Steve's. 

"Then it's a yes." You smile at them. 

"Does that mean I can kiss you now?" Steve asks.

"Hmm…" You smile and bite your lip before answering, "Yeah." You say grinning. Steve leans in and plants a gentle, sweet kiss on your lips. You smile once you separate and then turn to Bucky. "Does that mean I can kiss you now?" You say to him. 

"Hell, yeah." He says as he pulls you close. His kiss is firm but still sweet. 

"And one last kiss to seal the pact." You look between the two of them. They grin at each other and lean in for a kiss. You smile at them as they part and look at you. "Okay. Well, I still want to finish our ride and we have several hours of daylight left."

You pack up all traces of your picnic and Steve places the cooler on the back of Bucky's bike with a smirk. Bucky growls at him but doesn't protest.

"Did you just growl?" You grin up at Bucky.

"He's robbing me of the pleasure of having you against me." Bucky chuckles. You reach up and pull him down for a kiss, opening your mouth to invite his tongue in, which he takes full advantage of as he presses you to him. After a minute, you pull away. "Hope that makes up for it just a little bit." You smirk at him as you get on the bike behind Steve.

"That was hot." Steve says as he starts up his bike. 

You wrap your arms around him and squeeze. "Don't worry. There's more where that came from." You laugh.

"God, I hope so." You hear Bucky say. 

You're still giggling as you jounce back towards the main road. The guys weave around each other, rev their engines, and you exchange grins with Bucky and an occasional comment with Steve. Almost two hours later, Steve pulls into a gas station. He parks the bike next to the pump and you get off the bike and stretch. “I’m going to find the ladies room.”

“Okay.” He smiles as he watches you walk away. 

“You staring hard enough at her ass?” Bucky quips from behind. 

“You weren’t doing the exact same thing?” Steve smirks. 

“Maybe.” Bucky chuckles as he pumps gas. 

Steve finishes pumping his gas, “Hey Buck, you want a drink or anything?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” Bucky says. As soon as Steve disappears into the store, Bucky takes the cooler from his bike and moves it to Steve’s. 

He turns when he hears you bark out a laugh. “That was slick, Bucky.” 

“Thanks, doll. It’s my turn again, right? Only fair.” He grins. 

“Bucky!” You both turn to see Steve’s scowl. “Really?” He hands you and Bucky both a drink. 

“Thank you.” You say to Steve. You pull him to you and slide your arms around his neck. He takes no preamble and kisses you deeply. He leaves you nearly breathless by the time he pulls back. 

“Worth it.” Steve says as he grins at Bucky. 

You giggle and swat his butt as he walks back to his bike. “Time to head back?” You ask as you climb on Bucky’s bike behind him. 

Steve and Bucky exchange looks. “A little further.” Bucky says. 

“Yeah.” Steve agrees and starts his bike up. 

About 45 minutes later, they turn off onto a small side road, and then onto a long gravel drive. They pull up to a cabin surrounded by woods with a creek running to the west of it. They switch their engines off before turning to each other and then to you. You feel butterflies begin in your stomach, “Who’s cabin is this?” You ask as you get off Bucky’s bike. 

“It’s one of Tony’s many properties.” Steve says. 

You begin to tremble. Not out of fear but nervousness. You knew from your conversation earlier today that sex was inevitable, but looking at the cabin behind Steve you understood the expectation. You weren’t sure if you were quite ready for that step. “Uh-huh. And what are we doing here?”

“I guess that depends on you, sweetheart.” Steve looks at you nervously. 

You wrap your arms around yourself and look at Bucky with a raised eyebrow wanting his input. He takes in your demeanor and immediately feels empathy for your discomfort. “Nothing you don’t want to do, doll. We can stay the night here doing whatever you are comfortable with or turn around and go back. No pressure. No expectations.”

“I’m pretty sure something like this always comes with expectations.” You say looking between the two. 

“There might be some hope but no expectations. Promise.” Steve puts his hands on your waist and looks at you earnestly. “Nothing will happen that you don’t want.”

You run through your thoughts for a minute looking into Steve’s eyes and then smile, “Seal it with a kiss.” Steve grins as he pulls you in for a kiss. Once he lets you go you face Bucky and look at him expectantly. He smiles and kisses you, too.

“I like the idea behind this.” You look at the cabin.

“What do you mean? Steve says.

“Having our first night together alone. Without prying eyes and ears. Outside the compound. It feels like a lot less pressure.” You smile. 

“I was worried it might scare you.” Bucky says. “Taking you to the middle of nowhere without telling you. We’re serious. No pressure.”

“I’m not scared. I could never be scared of either of you. Just nervous.” You say. “Now, show me this cabin.” 

Steve enters the code on the lock and holds open the door to the well appointed cabin for you.

Part 6

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[thran-duils]

alt storyline

Per a couple requests, this is the other chapter I had started writing for Lost in Zero Gravity. It would not have ended the story and just added to the angst. And like I said, I felt we were all deserving of some (bittersweet) happiness for an ending. 😘 It is not a complete chapter since I stopped writing (and it is more than 1,200 words like I said on the other chapter, whoops. Almost 1,600).

I am done writing the story but am willing to share this!

Tony had been acting more distant as the weeks passed. He had even let you go to a doctor appointment without him, much to your immense shock. That was the moment you knew for sure that something was up. Steve had looked stunned as well seeing you walk in alone and you did not miss the brief look of satisfaction when you told him Tony was busy. He was in good spirits, coercing you to go next door so he could at least buy you lunch. Daryl was there, so you accepted since he was going to be sitting with you. Afterward, Steve had offered you a ride home, but you turned him down, leaving with Daryl.

As time went on after that, Tony was staying away for longer spans of days and when he was there, he was standoffish. He slept in the bed, but he brushed off your advances more often than not, telling you he did not want to “tussle the baby”. You had tried to say sex was perfectly fine during pregnancy, but he was firm. The nights he was not there, the bed was cold, and you were lonely. You wondered where he was. To you, there were only two options: He was either reconciling with Alessia or he had found another.

You were in your seventh month, and you cradled your stomach, sitting on the patio in the setting sun. It was getting to be unbearably hot, and the pregnancy made it even worse. You had AC inside, but you wanted fresh air, even if it meant sweltering in the August heat. The sweating was doing nothing to help lift your mood either. You found yourself alone again and when you had texted Tony asking if he was going to come over, he had responded not tonight. You felt miserable for yourself, sniffling every so often.

He had voiced his opposition to the situation from the beginning. He would not touch your stomach and you feared that it was what was driving the wedge between the two of you. You were not the fun side piece anymore, you were pregnant. That was not sexy, especially not with another man’s child.

Maybe this would cause you to be free of Tony too.

And that thought made you scared. Birth was not far off and after that, then what? If Tony was moving on and Steve was off with his child and his wife, where did that leave you? The apartment would be gone soon. You had no money of your own since you had not been allowed to work ever since this arrangement came into motion. And Steve was not giving you the money you owed him, he was just writing off the debt. And how would you work that out with Tony on his end for what you owed him? What if Tatiana would not take you back? You had caused a lot of stress for her. And you were not sure you even wanted to go back to the escort business.

Tears stung your eyes. This is exactly why you had not wanted any of this in the first place.

Later in the night, you were sitting on the couch, staring at nothing, still lost to your intrusive thoughts. The console had long since turned off after inactivity and you were sitting there in silence, eyes watery.

Running your thumb over the screen of your phone, you held it tight, just begging yourself for the strength to not do what you were thinking.

But the loneliness got the better of you.

“Y/N? Is something wrong? It’s late,” Steve answered sounding worried.

“No... no nothing’s wrong. With the baby,” you said, sniffling.

“What’s going on?”

You chewed on your bottom lip, caressing your abdomen. What the hell were you doing?

“Nothing. I’m sorry for calling so late. Goodnight,” you told him quickly before hanging up.

He was calling you back instantly and you sighed heavily, clutching the phone. He knew something was wrong and he was not going to let it go. You answered him.

“Y/N?” He questioned when you did not answer straight away.

“I’m here,” you said quietly.

“What is going on?” he repeated more forcibly. You shrugged even though he could not see you. “Do you need something?”

Your vision blurred as tears stung your eyes, your heart tugging at how concerned he sounded. “I’m lonely,” you whispered pathetically as some tears escaped.

“Where’s Tony?”

“Not here,” you admitted tearfully. “Again.”

You heard Steve sigh from the other end of the phone.

“I hate being this person, but I did tell you, dove. He has the attention span of a goldfish. I’m honestly surprised he lasted as long as he did.”

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the well of tears but it did not help. You sniffled again, wiping at your eyes.

“I know you did,” you whispered.

“You want me to come over?”

Your heart pounded. Was that what you wanted? Really? He was willing to do it, sounding eager too; he had not hid that undertone completely. You wanted company. You wanted touch. And he was the father... your mind flashed to your doctor appointments where he seemed to cherish touching your stomach, his face alight.

“Yes,” you said hoarsely.

<><><>

Steve got up quickly from bed, going to his closet to put some clothes on. He was grinning. That stupid bastard had done exactly what Steve had expected him to do and he had pushed Y/N right back to him. He knew Tony was going to get jealous the more he was faced with seeing Steve’s child growing and Tony was the poster child for self-destructive behavior. Steve had played the long game and it looked like it was paying off.

As he left the closet, he barely spared a glance at the empty side where Cecile’s clothes used to be.

<><><>

Steve walked into the apartment past you, and you closed the door behind him. His eyes were wandering over the layout. You were watching him closely, still disbelieving of yourself that you had allowed him to come over. His eyes landed on you again and he cracked a small smile. “Well, I will say, I was shocked to learn how close you were to Tony’s.”

“Me too.”

“Not your choice then?” Steve asked and you shook your head in confirmation. He made a small noise of acknowledgment before he moved further into the apartment, and you followed. Luna jumped up on one of the island barstools and meowed at him. He smirked, “Haven’t forgotten me then?” He reached out giving her a small scratch behind the ears.

“It’s certainly more Victorian than the last place. Not usually the taste I would think Tony would choose. He’s usually so sleek. But since it’s closer and he was keeping you away, seems well enough. It is a beautiful layout in a nice neighborhood. I’m glad he kept you safe in that way. And the little one, of course. Just making sure the both of you are doing alright and safe is what’s important.”

Steve turned to you when you didn’t respond and he saw you clenching your jaw, tears brimming. He exhaled softly, “Oh, dove.”

<><><>

Tony grabbed his slacks off the carpet and tugged them on over his boxer briefs.

“You’re not staying?” Yanira asked from behind him on the bed. She was still wrapped up in the sheets.

“No,” Tony chuckled, shooting her a look. “Did I stay last time?”

“No,” she answered him, looking slightly out off by his attitude. “But... I would like it if you would.”

She was pretty enough. He had slept with her once before and had gotten a whiff of desperation about her. After a couple other one-night stands, he had circled back, thinking the sex was worth the risk of her being potentially clingy. It had been good, but he was not going to do this a third time. Not with the way she was trying to get him to stay. The clingy feeling was not a potential anymore, it was a reality. It was not attractive and furthermore, a third time would indicate something serious, and he did not want to give off that vibe. This was strictly casual.

He was using a different escort service than Tatiana’s, not wanting to potentially order a girl who happened to know Y/N and would tell Elisha and then Elisha would tell Y/N. He did not want that mess. As soon as Y/N was done with this business with Steve, everything would go back to normal.

Tony snatched his dress shirt off the ground and threw it around his shoulders. “I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go.”

He heard her sigh, and he rolled his eyes, his back to her. He buttoned up his shirt quickly and finished dressing himself. Snatching his cell phone off the side table, he froze seeing he had a missed call and a text from Wylan.

“Is Mr. Rogers supposed to be here? He said Y/N called him?”

Tony opened his phone to see if he had any missed texts from Y/N but there was nothing past when he had told her he was not coming tonight.

<><><>

Tony walked into the apartment and found Steve coming down the hallway.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tony snarled.

“I was coming for water,” Steve said in an eerily calm voice. “Can you keep it down? Y/N is finally sleeping.”

~~~

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