#she gives the impression of a person who’s experienced w/ tending to others

[moviebunny]

I think Ragatha has an eldest sibling vibe about her but I might be projecting lmao

[kookingtae]

falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7

→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.

→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)

→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!

Jungkook could never face Y/N again.

God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.

But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.

Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.

But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.

He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.

As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—

Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.

He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.

While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.

He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.

“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.

It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.

Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.

She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”

The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.

And so he stopped fighting.

“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.

Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.

“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.

“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.

Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.

And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.

Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?

The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.

He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.

At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.

Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.

He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.

The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.

It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.

“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”

He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?

She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”

As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.

You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.

But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.

“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.

Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”

“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”

You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.

“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”

You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.

A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.

You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.

But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.

Unless…

Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?

Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.

“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”

And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.

If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.

You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.

“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.

[arcane-ish]

Thinking smutty Mel x Silco dynamics

@magalimoons said: That makes sense re Silco’s dodgy imaginings but I think it could be done in a hot way, like it’d be dome rough power play but not necessarily demeaning. Yes re Mel and potentially going into dark shit w/women lovers.

I guess my way of thinking was that when Silco talks about his motivations in Act 1 and him and Vander go back and forth about respect, I always got the impression that deep down he wants to humiliate the topsiders. So I tend to picture that he would fantasize about humiliating scenarios if it was about top siders (ie make her crawl, make her beg, smudge her makeup, pull and mess up her hair, make her cry, make her choke on it, enjoy my power over them when I always felt powerless vis a vis the topsiders, make her fear me). 

Which you know, can work for some people, but I tend to enjoy fantasies more when I can at least imagine the other person would be into it if they knew about it, and here I just can’t with Mel. 

(I think I’ve said before, I find it very telling that imo it doesn’t come across that Mel enjoys the power difference between her and Jayce. Like I do feel like maybe she enjoys that she is more experienced than him and she enjoys teaching him (in regards to politics), but she generally does everything to raise him to her level (ie making his house a major house). Rather than getting a kick out of being with somebody who is clearly below her in rank. So I just think powerplay/aggressive roleplay power play wouldn’t be her thing, particularly with male partners.)

I thought about the Silco fantasizing about Mel concept some more, I guess if he knew her better and respected her, I guess I could imagine a scenario where he imagines her as the dominant or seductive one and I guess that could work better (for some reason my mind suggests him doing foot worship on her and fantasizing about her giving him a foot job [because that would preserve the distance between them/would be her keeping him at foot’s length, would perserve the dynamic that he can’t fully have and touch her, or maybe him fantasizing about her riding him and teasing him with her hair]). 

Re: Mel and Woman: I kind of imagine that any relationship with a woman where there is any sort of age difference would get very emotionally messy for Mel very quickly (like whether you think Mel x Caitlyn* or Mel x Grayson or of course any OC), regardless of whether she was the younger or the older one in the relationship. And I tend to see Mel as a smart cookie who would hence avoid relationships like that because she is aware of her own weaknesses and want to steer clear of them or only deal with them in a very “calculated risk” kind of way. (huh I guess I kind of headcanon at her having that point of view somewhat in common with her mother who sent Mel away because Mel could be her weakness, at the same time I think we clearly see her experimenting with some weakness/letting herself be softer with Jayce, but again, I feel in a very soft calculated risk kind of way) (I guess that could be a fun dynamic for a Mel x female character story, for her to be all “I normally don’t do that, but with you I just can’t stay away, for you I’m making the exception”)

Sidenote: If there was a flirtation/tension between Mel and Silco, I tend to head canon Mel as somebody who is quite loyal in relationships and who wouldn’t just cheat on Jayce, somebody who would end the relationship before starting new and who wouldn’t end the relationship easily (because investment). (which brings an interesting plot bunny of like a scene where things end between Jayce and Mel in a bitter way somehow and Silco comments on it, like I can picture him definitelly as the guy who goes “What a fool Talis was, had no idea what he had, bad things should happen to him” and Mel would appreciate it/it would at least make her smile in that situation (because she is vulnerable to Jayce))

Circling back on Mel and woman, actually when I think about it, that is like one of the few ways I can picture a (dark/dead dove do not eat) Mel x Silco to come about. Like let’s say he is in a situation where he regularly hangs out at the council and one day he comes across Mel’s mom and a lightbulb goes off and it’s very “now I finally get Mel’s personality”. Like now he understands her inner insecurites and can imagine a way he would pressure her into bed (by poking at her insecurities and taunting her about he rmother). (and because she is a topsider I could picture him have no moral qualms about it, because top siders deserve anything bad happening to them)  

I think that’s kind of one of the differences between them, where imo Mel’s way of manipulating people to me feels a bit more celebral and fair, manipulating people’s wants. While Silco’s style of manipulation to me seems more about understanding people’s weaknesses and poking at them (Marcus springs to mind). Like even when he is positively inspiring he tries to get people to recall past indignities to rally them to him. 

Sidenote again: I’m genuinely curious what would the dynamic have been if through some timeline differences if Mel had ever come across a young, pre-injury Silco. Again, looking at Jayce and looking at young!Silco, I’m still pretty sure that spindly Silco wouldn’t have been her type, but I could picture her being kind to him and having pity on him. And I could picture as less jaded, more idealistic young Silco crushing on her like crazy (and her being very “letting him down gently/I’m flattered but you are not my type”). 

Sidenote of Sidenote: Now Mel and young Vander ... now that I could picture be a temptation for her, to hit that at least for a one night stand. 

(maybe that would be a fun setting for a fic, where like Mel is trying to find out more about her enemies and consults a Noxian or Shuriman mage to let her peer into the past or even walk around in the past for a short time and attend like a planning meeting of young Silco and young Vander)

[though I guess it’s not completely impossible that young!Mel might have attended a revolutionary meeting undercover out of curiosity pre Vander&Silco fallout? Like if you buy into the whole concept that the fallout happened around the time Vander took in Vi and Powder that would then be only a couple of years before Act 1, so that could have been Mel around age 20]

* sidenote of sidenote: I could picture super delish dynamics in a Mel x Caitlyn fic. Like maybe some amount of sneaking around/forbidden love/forbidden fruit because Mel works with Cait’s mom and doesn’t necessarily want Cait’s mom to know. Or Mel trying to give Cait advice how to handle her mother in a more diplomatic manner. (firmly thinking pre Act 2 here, so no Cait having met Vi yet and no Mel dating Jayce)

[cancerjupiter]

astro notes: neptune edition (pt. 1)

neptune represents issues which are frequently unconscious, so all of this may operate without your awareness. if projected, the negative aspects of neptune become more emphasised. the more you reject it in your own life, the more likely it is that you’ll meet it in exaggerated ways outside yourself.

neptune in the 1st house

tends to be the kind of person who waits and sees, but your outward behavior doesn’t begin to describe what goes on inside. you feel connected to your environment because you’re aware of subtle energies, you pick up impressions from others they’re usually unaware to be giving. you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of knowing (beyond a verbal level) what others’ unconscious motivations are, what’s hidden behind their civility. you tend to be very idealistic, preferring to live in harmony: peaceful non-demanding relationships and quiet and aesthetically pleasing surroundings. you choose to think kindly of others, whether they reciprocate or not; your sensitivity gives you a natural compassion. you can be most charming, often whimsical, sometimes romantic, and usually empathic. you seem approachable and often receptive to a degree others find startling and deeply gratifying (if not a little scary lol). you want life to be perfect for yourself and others, and your desire for a better world can be channeled into artistic creative pursuits, social work, or mere daydreaming.

you often struggle with personal identity. you may be so open to others that you pick up their moods without realising it. you tend to mimic, unconsciously, the strong characteristics of the last person you were with. don’t become an emotional sponge; define your emotional boundaries and accept it is necessary for your growth to establish a firm identity. another thing i noticed about you is that you guys don’t mind suffering; no, i’m not saying you don’t hate it (everyone does!) but you seem to accept it when you don’t have to. you put others first and feel that it’s best to sacrifice your own well-being than to be responsible for someone else’s suffering.

there’s almost always a strong awareness of and interest in spiritual energies with this placement. you may actually be psychic, whether or not you’re comfortable with the ability. you may deeply religious, although not conventionally since institutions don’t satisfy you; you feel at home with a belief system you know, from personal experience, exists. your lack of interest in the real world can lead you into seriously bad habits like drug abuse or eating disorders and due to your dislike of physical activity, this can quickly damage your (often sensitive) health. alternatively, this placement can also lead to arrogance, depending on the sun and midheaven placements/aspects.

neptune in the 2nd house

you tend to be idealistic with the use of money and personal resources, not terribly attached to them. you look at them as temporary and although sad to part with something you own, you can let it go where others simply cannot. there’s an indifferent attitude towards finances, income and etc. some of you are v generous and will give things away to people who can truly admire it, believing nothing truly belongs to anyone. this outlook satisfies you greatly, making you easygoing but also easily being taken advantage of. this sort of gives you a fairy-tale attitude towards your money - it’s either always there when needed, or simply one of the world’s idiotic, materialistic preoccupations. you may be unpractical or simply forgetful with resources; not willing to sit down and figure what’s the best buy and choosing to go with intuition. purchases usually go by what you want rather than what you can afford (my friend has no idea how much is on her bank acc and doesn’t care to figure it out. she just doesn’t care lol). you should actually read the small print in contracts and not trust just anyone with your money.

alternatively, there may be a strong tendency to overvalue material things (neptune = beliefs in the house of money and possessions), specially if there’s an earth emphasis in the chart, making you inclined to putting great care and time into upkeep. you usually want your things to look aesthetic™️. 

there’s also a strong creative tendency; it may be expressed in various forms but it will certainly be inherent. you need at least periodic access to music and inspiration, including the outdoors where you can soak up peace and serenity. since the 2nd house also relates to sensual pleasures, you probably expect these to provide a kind of ultimate ecstasy. in short, this placement forces you to face up to your tendencies to create illusions about money, possessions, sex, or creative pursuits. don’t expect more from them than they can provide.

neptune in the 3rd house

on one level, this placement can confuse and scatter the brain, giving it vagueness and disorganized thinking. sometimes, however, the mind exhibits uncanny insights into the subtleties of the environment. you sense the hidden nuances and meanings behind what’s being said. what you miss in terms of precise analytical ability, you can by being able to view the big-picture more clearly. there’s a danger to this however; your desire to view what’s beautiful and ideal around you can give a kind of selective perception in which only the good is seen and what doesn’t fit into that is ignored.

you don’t usually feel comfortable expressing yourself through normal channels of communication. what you have to say can be better demonstrated through dance, poetry, song, or picture (painted or taken). there’s often a shyness in the early school situation, which manifested in mental illness (my friend has dyslexia and this was a hard time for her) or simply confusion.

since this house also rules siblings, there may be some sacrifices to be made in relation to them; they may be a problem or have difficulties. since neptune fuses the boundary between the self and others, you may feel you’re responsible for their problems or everything which happens in the immediate environment (also ruled by the 3rd). if you don’t have siblings, you probably longed for the companionship of it, an idealized vision of what a sibling is. i also noticed this neptune placement showing exceptional ability as teachers - specially working w children who have learning difficulties. they can understand ways to communicate with and understand the child better than anyone else.

neptune in the 4th house

i have this one and it’s a loaded position: an unconscious planet in an unconscious house. to feel safe in a secure nest is fundamental, though that’s often quite unconscious. your idea of haven includes a lovely home, w lots of food and someone who will take care of your needs. there’s an assumption that the mother, early home life and emotional security all need to be perfect. that is, all needs will be met with ease, and there’s no upset or disappointment in these areas. the mom or other primary caregiver, is supposed to be there when needed, regardless of other commitments. the illusions connected to the 4th house (remember, neptune refers to illusions which must be exposed and released) are deeply intimate; and any threat to them is profoundly threatening to you.

neptune in the 4th generally has to overcome the strong need for the nurturing parent to not only be perfect but to continue being so into your adulthood. you have great difficulty separating from them; you may never fully do it. it doesn’t matter if they actually lived to your expectations, for their importance is in your head - the parent you idealized or pretended they were. sometimes, however, this desire focuses on the home rather than the parent. in this case, the childhood home was either perfect, or mysterious and elusive. you can react by trying to re-create the exact same nest.

with this placement, nurturing yourself becomes the ultimate value, a way to find supreme satisfaction. you can also make the most amazing caretakers and companions. your need to nurture others is a complicated expression of your own hunger to be taken care of; you give too much and eventually become resentful when no one appreciates your (not asked for) sacrifices. you might also project neptunian traits onto your parent; they may be v spiritual and loving, vague and confusing, or even absent, so you were left w only a fantasy of what they could - and should - have been. they might have also been a victim (similar to pisces moon) and you might’ve felt obligated to save them. 

you feel like caring involves being swallowed up completely, and it’s something you either constantly yearn or are terrified of. you also feel if your (unrealistic) emotional security needs aren’t met, you won’t survive the disappointment (you did, and you will again). neptune in the 4th can make the most patient and loving parents, w a strong sense of their emotional bonding and spiritual responsibilities. you will do more to create an ideal parent/child relationship than anyone else and constantly remind others of how important it is to strive to be the best parent one can be.

neptune in the 5th house

this combo leads to a definite charisma, an aura of charm and power and importance (timothee, angelina, mlk, drake, etc). it’s a strong indication of some kind of acting ability, though it may be used as a teacher or a salesman rather than on stage. you’re likely to work in some area where applause and respect can be immediate and experienced personally. you need this; neptune undermines the self-confidence so you depend on others’ feedback to measure your worth. this can be a deadly dependency because even the highest praise and respect can truly fulfill the yearning to be loved unconditionally, only provide a temporary high, making you forever vulnerable.

some of the illusions related to this placement include the need to have perfect relationships and children, and the perfect artistic creation. whenever one expects perfection, they’re doomed to disappoitment, although the process of disillusionment may be needed to rethink your outlook on life. you may expect your love life to provide a complete sense of fulfillment. you can make a v romantic partner, the type to love cheesy romantic things and music, who can surround your lover with utmost affection. however, you might also expect them to sense your wishes and always meet them; or expect yourself to always be sensitive and caring at al times, regadless of your moods and/or needs.

you need to re-evaluate your tendency to romanticize lovers instead of seeing them for who they are. you may also harbor illusions towards children, your own or all, which hamper your ability to deal w them realistically and effectively. there’s a difficulty in developing a strong sense of self-worth, or maybe fancying yourself to be far more important than you really are. this placement is associated w a great deal of inspired creativity, however, and if other chart factors support it, it indicates exceptional artistic talent. with humility and self-awareness, you can use your magnetism to uplift those who have lost all confidence.

neptune in the 6th house

w this placement, neptune is in its polar opposite, since 6th house relates to virgo and neptune relates to pisces. this house is about the world as it is and how to manage it in a day-to-day basis. neptunian energy is the opposite: it yearns for and seeks to unite w the cosmos, which transcends this world. how can these two work this out?

when they’re well integrated in the chart, you can dream of neptune while using the practical 6th house skills to plan and organise the dream you wish to make true some day. it can direct the neptunian energy to envision something better, prettier, more creative and inspiring. without this, the 6th house is merely a housekeeping unit - a drive to organise and plan, but for what purpose? neptune supplies it with purpose and the house repays it with practical skills, usually related to some artistic work.

however, if the energies are at odds, there is the need to dream vs. the need to be practical and realistic. you feel a strong need to busy yourself w details and make everything as efficient as possible, tidying up and even criticising others (negative virgo energy). you may expect far too much from others and yourself, never able to say “no” when more work is piled on you. another expression is not being able to keep your shit together; you forget, are disorganized, feel tired and drained of energy, get sick often, or feel generally unfulfilled. my friend, for example, often seeks jobs for its glamorous aspects, only to get swamped by details and routine. 

[niksixx]

Axed 5

This was only supposed to be like one part but now it has 5??? Y’all I’m so glad you love this and continue to want more☺️ Enjoy the drama😏

Pairing: The Dirt! Nikki Sixx/Axl Rose x Reader

Description: Part 5 bishes..with Nikki’s, Sheila’s and Y/N’s point of view 😊 (I told y’all there would be three😛)

Warning: This is very raw. This is very deep.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

This chapter contains events that may be triggering for some readers. If you have experienced miscarriage or are not able to bear children, please read this chapter at your own risk and cautiously. (Nothing graphic is mentioned.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A light, feathery touch on his forehead jolted Nikki awake. When he came to, he blinked twice, heart hammering in his chest.

“Y/N?”

“Not quite,” the nurse giggled, bending closer to his face. “Although people do tend to confuse me with my little cousin.”

“Sheila?” Nikki croaked. “W-What are you doing here?”

Perched on the side of the bed, Sheila clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m your nurse,” she said softly, frowning. “Nikki, you’re lucky to be alive right now. Wanna tell me what happened?”

Sadness clouded his features. “Not really, Sheila. If we’re being truthful, I’m kinda pissed I’m still alive.”

She crossed her arms, exhaling loudly. “Does this have anything to do with Y/N? Because now, if I’m being truthful, I saw the news about her and Axl’s engagement. And if I remember correctly you two were together a month ago.

It has everything to do with her, Nikki thought. Clenching his teeth, Nikki closed his eyes. “She let Axl kiss her right in front of me. I dumped her. They got engaged two weeks later.”

Sheila glared. “Does she know you tried to kill yourself?”

“I’m sure her fiancée told her,” Nikki spat, wincing as a sharp pain shot through his chest.

Sheila’s face contorted as she adjusted her weight on the bed. “Axl,” she chuckled. “My darling ex-boyfriend. Y/N always did have a thing for him.”

“Not helping,” Nikki grimaced. “He came to my apartment looking for Y/N’s necklace and I shot myself after he said she still loves me.”

Sheila rolled her eyes. “So instead of trying to win back your woman, you attempted suicide. Seems practical,” Sheila lightly smacked his arm. “Nikki, what were you thinking?”

He blew out a breath. “I wasn’t.”

Scooting off the bed, Sheila adjusted her scrubs before pulling the blanket up to Nikki’s hips. “Well, you’re not going anywhere anytime soon. Right now, you have some time to think about what you’re going to tell my cousin when she gets here. And if you want to know what I think, I think this whole thing is bullshit. Do you know she called me the night before you dumped her?”

Nikki shook his head. “No, what for?”

“She wanted to take the next step with you,” Sheila muttered, drawing her lip between her teeth. “But Y/N is stubborn and impatient and she wanted what she wanted. Do I think she wanted Axl to kiss her that night? No. But after he proposed, she probably saw the life she could have. And she took it.”

“And she didn’t want to wait for me,” Nikki concluded. “I wonder how she’ll react when I tell her I bought a fucking ring.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Immediately after leaving Nikki’s room, Sheila stomped down the hall, eyes blazing as they landed on Axl, sitting on a bench. He stood up and took a step forward, then stumbled backward as Sheila’s hand connected with his cheek.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Sheila whispered sharply.

Rubbing his face, Axl snickered. “I see nothing’s changed, sweetheart. You’re still feisty as ever.”

“Marrying my fucking cousin?” Sheila laughed cynically. “What’s your game, Rose?”

“I sense jealousy,” Axl taunted, eyes dark.

“You have lost your damn mind. Y/N is a person, Axl, with real human feelings. And you confused her that night at the bar,” Sheila said. “You don’t love her and you never did. You used her affection for you to manipulate her. You promised her exactly what she wanted. And you knew she could give you everything I couldn’t.”

“I see nothing wrong with that,” Axl retorted, fists clenched.

“You don’t mean it!” Sheila growled, stabbing his chest with her finger. “You and I both know that. Whatever grudge you have against me, don’t you dare use my cousin as a way to get back at me and make me feel even worse about myself. Don’t you dare.”

“Sweetheart,” Axl murmured, stroking Sheila’s cheek. “Not everything is about you.”

Sheila raised her hand again. This time, Axl caught her wrist just in time. They glared at each other, eyes blazing, before a soft voice interrupted.

“Sheila?” You asked, stepping forward. Sheila and Axl turned hesitantly, Sheila’s hand still in Axl’s grasp. “Axl? What are you doing?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking between your fiancée and your cousin, you tentatively stepped forward. “Sheila, why are you at the hospital?”

She motioned to her scrubs. “I’m working here,” she answered. “I’m uh, Nikki’s nurse.”

Face paling, you flashed back to the minute Axl had called you from the hospital as Nikki had been wheeled into surgery. “Is…is he alive?”

“He’s fine, angel,” Axl assured, dropping Sheila’s wrist. “Go on in and see him.”

Your feet propelled you forward, stopping at the door before turning your head slightly to the side. Sheila and Axl went back to arguing and even though you were too far away to hear, just by Sheila’s facial expressions, you knew it wasn’t good.

As you stepped into the room, your heart sank immediately as Nikki shot up, eyes sharp enough to cut through you. “You have no business being here.”

If one thing stayed the same, it was Nikki’s stubborn personality.

“Nikki, please,” You didn’t want to argue. You didn’t want to fight. As wrong as it was, the only thing you wanted to do was crawl in that hospital bed and fall asleep in his arms. “I didn’t come here to do anything other than see if you were okay.”

“Which gives me the impression that you care about me,” Nikki laughed. “Don’t screw with me, Y/N. Take Axl and go home.”

Angrily you stepped forward. “Did you even fucking thank him for saving your life?”

Nikki shrugged. “He didn’t save me. The surgeon that plucked the bullet from my chest did.”

Your face hardened. “You are beyond selfish, Nikki Sixx.”

Nikki’s lips thinned. Swallowing, you prayed you hadn’t said the wrong thing. “Let’s talk about people who are selfish, Y/N. I can think of a few names, but you’re at the top of that list. Why did you really agree to marry Axl, hm? I’m sure you feel something for him, but there is no fucking way you love him more than you love me. You love the idea of marriage. A family. A big house with a yard and a pool. But you didn’t want to wait for me, wait until we had our lives figured out. You want things when you want them. We’ve only been together for two years and you wanted a ring on your finger so desperately. Why? Was my love really not enough for you that you needed a label?”

Angry tears slid down your cheeks as you listened to Nikki. Were you angry that he was scolding you? Or because deep down, you knew he was right?

“And you know what’s even worse?” Nikki’s laugh was empty. “I was working so hard to give you everything you wanted. I’d been looking at houses for weeks, you know. I talked to a contractor about adding a pool big enough for a family of five in the future. Hell, baby, I even bought a damn ring for you to use when we were ready. But I wanted us to be stable before we took that next step. And you couldn’t wait for me. You couldn’t wait for us. And that,” Nikki breathed, weakly pointing a finger at you. “Is the most selfish thing a person could do to someone they love.”

You winced as if he’d slapped you across the face. And truthfully you wished he had. Maybe it would’ve knocked some sense into you, made you see how awful you’d been to him. He was right. You were selfish. But was it greedy to want to have the most incredible life with him? Be his wife? Show him off to the world as yours?

Biting your lip, you hesitantly sat on the side of Nikki’s bed. To your surprise, he welcomed you. “Nikki, I…I just wanted to have a life together. I never meant to pressure you.”

Nikki’s eyes softened. “It really doesn’t matter now, does it?” With a sigh, he shimmied his body away from yours. “I’ll always love you. I’ll always care for you. But seeing you with Axl and being around you right now hurts more than the bullet did. You need to leave, please. I appreciate you coming to check on me, I do. But you’re getting married and I’m…I’m trying to heal. And I can’t do that if you’re still in my life.”

There was nothing left for you to say. With a nod, you slinked off the bed, lightly pressing a kiss to his forehead. You offered a small smile, hoping he’d return it, but Nikki shook his head sadly.

In the hallway, tears fell down your cheeks as fast as a freight train. You let out a strangled sob into your palms and then jumped as a hand touched your shoulder. Looking up, you frowned at Sheila.

“He doesn’t want me in his life,” you whispered.

“I don’t really blame him,” Sheila replied. “Can you?”

You shook your head. “None of this was supposed to happen.”

“Then why did you let it?” Sheila asked, agitated.

“Excuse me?”

“You do realize that if you hadn’t let Axl kiss you that night you wouldn’t be in this position?” Sheila replied, stepping back. “I mean, really what the hell were you thinking?”

“Sheila, you are in no position to lecture me about men,” you shot back. “You fucking used Axl for his damn money and then left when you got bored.”

Sheila grimaced. “Wait…that’s what he told you? That’s what he told you when we broke things off years ago?”

“You mean he told me the truth?” You asked, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, yeah he did.”

Sheila shook her head. “That’s not what happened, Y/N. He lied to you.”

Crossing your arms, you gave Sheila a look. “Then what really happened, hm?”

Sheila went quiet. You did a double take as a tear slipped down her face. “I found out I couldn’t have children.”

Your lips parted, chest heaving. “Sheila, no…”

“He was so hurt…so…angry,” Sheila whispered, brushing the tears from her cheeks. “I couldn’t give him what he wanted, Y/N. He wanted a family back then.”

“So he left you,” You confirmed, disappointment etched in your face. “Sheila, why didn’t you ever tell me this? You let me believe you used Axl for his fame. Why?”

She shrugged, pointing to the bench. You sat with her, arm around her shoulder. “Letting you think I was a gold digger was better than you believing I was weak.”

“Listen to me right now, Sheila May. You are not weak. Not at all. You are so fucking strong. I just wish you would’ve let me be there for you.”

Sheila nodded. “I know,” she blew out a breath, reaching to squeeze your hand. “Y/N, what are you doing? Nikki loves you. So damn much. That man wanted to give you the world and beyond. That’s the difference between Nikki and Axl. I’m scared that Axl is playing with you, toying with your head to hurt me. He…” Sheila sighed. “He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t really want the same things you do. But that man,” Sheila pointed toward Nikki’s room. “Would do anything for you. This is one big clusterfuck and you need to fix it before you marry the wrong man. Because let’s be honest, when you close your eyes and picture the altar, who do you see?”

And when the image of Nikki appeared in your head, that was all you needed to know.

[tothedarkdarkseas]

do u have any Russel headcanons? sorry if this has already been answered i just really like how u write out ur headcanons ;w;

Hey there! Thank you so much, that’s really kind! And no, it hasn’t been answered... but I’m afraid I don’t have much of an answer to give you!

I really do love Gorillaz as a whole and I definitely like all of the characters, but I don’t have very specific or detailed headcanon about Russel, Noodle, or Ace. Particularly in Russel and Noodle’s case, part of the issue is that they come across, to me, as much more sensible and much more likable than Murdoc and Stu. I don’t feel any guilt in pouring over the latter’s flaws-- but I also think, to pluck out two characters who are canonically POC, female, or queer in some way and say “They’re just good, overall good, no particular character faults to speak of” can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, you feel a bit less justified in talking them down than you do the straight-ish white guy (Stu), or Murdoc who is very clearly and canonically meant to be Just The Worst-- but on the other hand, it’s disheartening to be given underrepresented characters in media and then just have plotlines Happen To Them while they aren’t treated as very rounded characters. I certainly think the characters all have flaws, for me it’s a bit infantalizing to treat them as purely innocent, but I’m less eager to dunk on them, I suppose!

My general impression of Russel is... less fun than others, haha. I think Russel is sensible and stable almost to a fault, I think he has a bit of “ego” in an entirely different way from Stu. Russel doesn’t present himself as cocky and overconfident, but he’s difficult to relate to in conversation and he doesn’t try to stoop to Murdoc or Stu’s level for their benefit. He’s fine with everyone feeling an aura of him frankly being classier, more talented, and more purposeful in his words than they are. Russel is, I think, an honest person and doesn’t put on airs, but that comes at the expense of alienating him from his bandmates as he recognizes they don’t understand his experiences and he isn’t interested in changing his manner to be better understood by them. None of that is to suggest Russel is a mean person or even an especially cold person, but he’s just... through the lens of Stu especially, someone you feel intimidated talking to who doesn’t go out of his way to “bend down” and see eye to eye with you. Overall, this just tends to result in Russ being present but not always feeling like a peer. He’s respected and he’s appreciated, and in a crisis Russel in the one you want, but day to day in Kong I think Russel seems like he belongs somewhere better. Whether or not he thinks that himself... debatable, but I’d wager not most of the time. I think there has to be a reason he joined and a reason he stayed despite the absolutely maddening situation between Stu, Murdoc, and Paula in Phase Zero.

Russel cares about making “art.” I imagine him as almost overly principled, almost principled in a way that has limited his connection with others. He values a statement, a plan and an ideal, and I think he valued what Gorillaz could be as a disruption to the music industry and the concepts of segregated genre and celebrity worship. I don’t think his ambition looked the same as Murdoc’s; Russel didn’t try and try again to form bands, he didn’t do auditions for permanent lineups and mainly played in a limited capacity on offer only. He loved music and he centered much of his life on seeing and experiencing music on a wider scale than the average musician, but he wasn’t interested in making music with someone else longterm without an incentive. I think Russel had perhaps set this... nebulous, unspecific, maybe even unknown bar for what he needed in order to interact on such a constant, daily level with other people. (Given his history with Del and the others, it’s generally his preference to keep distance.) While Russel was and is a longtime fan of activist hip hop, Gorillaz was intriguing as it could be so many things at once. Gorillaz could make political or social statements and at the same time be unrestricted by genre; they could be synthpop, they could be R&B, they could be hip hop, they could be punk. Gorillaz could be something that engaged Russel and allowed him to experiment, while also justifying, perhaps a bit loftily, that it meant something. Simply put, it was something new. Something that he wanted to see through.

None of that is to suggest the band aren’t friends, Russel and Murdoc in particular I think get on well in their own way as Russel feels rather unpressured by Murdoc to be “accessible” and change anything about his interactions, and whatever intimidation Murdoc might feel he’s able to keep to himself. Murdoc’s just not a guy to let that sort of thing show and certainly not let it effect him getting what he wants. Because I HC things a little more realistic, I think at most Murdoc maybe misleads Russel in order to get him to check out his band, as opposed to kidnapping him out of a record shop. I don’t think Russel would have jumped at the opportunity to be around Murdoc all that much, or Stu once he met him, but their combined oddness (and general preoccupation with each other) sort of allows him to exist in a space that doesn’t challenge his comfort for the first year or two. I think Noodle’s addition to the band is really the point where something takes a turn for Russel, as he comes to recognize an even greater “purpose” in the music and in his contribution to “something that mattered”-- Noodle was so young but so full of promise, they barely spoke the same language but she was so adept at communicating through the music, she was someone he needed to step outside of himself for. It was... important to Russel, I think, observing and at times guiding her along her own path to experiencing and creating music in a way that was truly unseen before. I think Russ is proud of what he’s done with Gorillaz, and the top of that list is Noodle herself.

[jadekitty777]

Who Needs Genetics When We Have Family?: Chapter 2

It is here! The last and final part of the Golden Hummingbird series. This chapter is no joke, as it’s certainly the longest by far. For those of you who have been missing Summer these past few chapters, don’t worry she makes a great return in this one.

Thank you to those who have been on this journey with me, it’s been a blast!

Word Count: 10k+

Pairing: Summer/Tai/Qrow

Ao3 Link: Chapter 2

Summary: While going through her mom’s old clothes, Ruby discovers an old scrap book that reveals she may have one additional parent she never knew about. Now questioning everything from how the trio ended up together down to her very identity, Tai and Qrow find themselves with a lot to answer for. [Takes place Post-Canon]

~

Five minutes in and the tick-tick-tick from the clock on the wall was already driving Ruby crazy. Medical offices had a thing for loud clocks, didn’t they?

She sighed, crossing her legs. Uncrossed them. Started drumming her fingers on the table. Stopped. Bounced her right foot.

Looked at the clock.

A minute and a half later.

“Ugggh.” Ruby groaned, flopping over the circular table’s surface.

“Wow they sure have interesting placemats here.”

She turned her head to the side, overexaggerating her frown so dad would know his dumb jokes weren’t appreciated.

He only smiled back, setting a Styrofoam cup by her head. “Brought you some tea. It’ll calm your nerves.”

Ruby resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She was pretty sure he thought tea was the cure to everything. Still, she sat up, feeling the steam waft up onto her face when she brought it close, taking a sip. “Not feeling any calmer.” She announced petulantly, then immediately felt guilty about it. “Sorry, I’m just… I don’t know.”

Her dad reached out, brushing back some of her hair and tucking it behind her ear. “Sweetheart, if you’re not ready, we can leave.”

“No. No, that wouldn’t be right after I dragged you both through all this.” She said, shaking her head.

“And there’s no problem if we have to do it all over again.” He reassured. Normally, such a thing would calm her, but it only made her more mixed up inside.

Another chair scraped along the tile, and her uncle gave a loud sigh as he fell into it, draping an arm over the back and nursing a cup of coffee in one hand. “If it makes you feel any better kiddo, I’m pretty nervous too.”

“Yeah, must be hard, maybe having to admit you’re an irresponsible adult.” Yang mocked as she took the final seat across from her.

“Just for that backtalk, you’re grounded firecracker.” He replied without any real sincerity.

“Hah, as if! You’re not my dad at least!” She said, sticking her tongue out at him.

Ruby slid down in her seat a little, gripping her cup harder.

Dad seemed to take note and intervened, “Alright you two, that’s enough.” He looked between them all. “Perhaps we can think of something more constructive to do while we wait?”

Yang pressed her chin into her metal hand contemplatively. “How about you guys tell us some stories? There’s a lot of stuff I still want to know.”

She perked up at the suggestion, leaping back up. “Yeah, me too!”

“‘Suppose we could do that.” Qrow shrugged, setting his drink on the table. “Ask away.”

Her sister went first. “How’d you guys get together?”

“Boo, that’s the boring one.” Ruby heckled.

“How?!”

Tai scratched his chin. “Eh, actually it kind of is.”

“From your perspective, it is.” Qrow refuted. “For Sums, it had been like the Second Great War was happening. But!” He held up a hand, “I’m getting ahead of myself. Things actually started a bit further back. One day,”

~

…They were actually playing Truth or Dare. It was apparently a game kids played during sleepovers – but Qrow, whose childhood had been rather absent of such things, had never experienced it. Summer and her enormously large heart could never stand hearing such atrocities, so she tended to get a little gung-ho about having him ‘relive’ his childhood.

“Okay, truth or dare?” He said, scratching vigorously at his skull. Little pink flakes rained down from the paint he’d been dared to put in his hair.

“Truth.” Summer was sprawled along the couch, her feet propped up in his lap. They’d been playing for awhile now and both of them were struggling to stay awake.

“Uh, I dunno?” He yawned, laying his head on the arm of the couch. “Who’d you like back at Beacon?”

She smacked her heel against his thigh. “You, dummy.”

“Besides me! Come on, there had to be someone.”

“I guess – okay, you promise you won’t laugh, right?”

He cracked an eye open. “If you say Bart, I make no promises.”

“No!” She looked away. “It, it was Tai.”

That woke him up. “Wait, seriously? When? Don’t tell me when Raven-”

“No, way before then. In First Year.” Summer rubbed the side of her neck, chuckling. “I was really crushing on him. I used to try and sit behind him in class so I could stare at him without him knowing. And um, I would invade the gym when he was finished training because I knew he’d be getting out of the showers soon.”

He sat up straight, grinning. “Oh wow, stalker Summer? I’ve just learned a whole new side of you.”

“S-Shut up!” She hid her face in the cushions, her words becoming muffled. “I know it was dumb.”

“You never asked him out though.”

When she found it in her to come out of her hiding, she was frowning. “I couldn’t. Remember when we failed first semester and Professor Peach pulled us in one by one to her office and talked with us? She’d noticed how I favored Tai over you two. A lot. I remember she’d told me I needed to decide if I was there to be a Huntress or to be a housewife. I was so ashamed, but she was right. I was supposed to lead you guys and here I was, playing favorites.”

Qrow tried to think back on that year, but he’d never noticed. Probably because he’d spent a fair amount of time isolating himself from the other half of his team as much as possible, hoping maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t figure out his semblance if he did. It was that that Peach had reprimanded him about. She didn’t understand why he was keeping his distance though, so he didn’t take any of her grand speeches about ‘teamwork’ to heart.

But now that he thought about it, it was right after their failure that Summer practically stuck to him like a damn burr. He remembered Raven complaining about the same. “Huh. That’s why you kept looking for me during lunchtime.”

“Yeah.” She laughed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t before.”

He shrugged it off. “Eh, it’s not like I had wanted you around.”

“Ouch.” Summer placed a hand over her heart like he’d struck an arrow through it. “Qrow how could you hurt me this way?”

“Oh shut up.” He tickled her foot, laughing when she squealed and started trying to kick him away. She eventually turtled herself to keep him away, so he let her be, instead slouching more on the couch and propping his legs up on the coffee table. “Well, I guess if you were going to ignore me for anyone, I can understand why. Tai’s quite a looker.”

She snorted. “What?”

“Those arm muscles? Those pretty blue eyes? That infuriatingly cute smile? He’s totally my type.”

“And the truth comes out! Qrow had a guy crush!” Summer teased, poking his side with her big toe.

“Hah, oh come off it. You know I didn’t get serious about anyone back then.” He hesitated, then smiled her way. “Not until you that is.”

Her expression softened, before she eventually sat up and wound her arms around his neck. “And I’m glad you did.” She kissed his cheek. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

~

“At the time, it was just a conversation, but I always look back on it now and realized maybe I laid a foundation for some of Summer’s old feelings to come back.” Qrow explained.

“What do you mean?” Ruby asked.

It was dad who sighed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “If I remember right, I called three days after this, didn’t I?”

“Mm.” He nodded. “Give or take.”

~

“She’s saying she’s going to leave after the baby’s born! And if I keep bringing it up, she says she’ll leave now and make sure I’ll never see them!”

Summer gripped her scroll tight as she scowled, but her voice came out calm and firm. “That’s not going to happen. We won’t let her do that.”

Qrow swallowed hard, hearing how Tai’s breath hitched over a sob. “I don’t know what to do guys. I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”

“Hey,” He spoke up, as soft as he could manage, “For now just, play it her way. We’ll be there soon, right?”

He looked at his girlfriend, who had the same look of determination she got whenever they began a new mission. “Yeah, we’re on our way.”

~

“I think we were hoping we’d swoop in and save the day.” Their uncle explained, his laugh bitter.

Dad’s smile was sad. “If I’m being honest. I was hoping that too.”

“But man, did Summer scream. I swear if Raven wasn’t pregnant, flowerbud would have kicked the shit out of her.”

“Do you think mom would have done it?” Yang spoke up, voice small. “Taken me, I mean?”

Ruby shifted uncomfortably, suddenly wondering if there were laws against a mother kidnapping their own kid.

Dad turned to Yang, placing a hand on her arm. “I don’t think so. When Raven wanted to get her way, she could be pretty awful about making sure it happened.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this before I went to go see her?” Her sister asked.

“I wanted you to form your opinions about her. How could you, if all I did was give you this impression that she was a horrible person?”

“But she is a horrible person!” Ruby burst out before she could stop herself. Her whole family turned to look at her, varying degrees of shock on their faces. Her cheeks flushed and she slunk down a little. “Uh, s-sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You’re not wrong.” Her uncle cut in acidly, “Raven made her terrible choices, now she has to lie with them.”

Dad looked his way. “That’s, kind of surprising, coming from you Qrow.”

“Yeah well,” He scoffed. “Guess I finally saw the light.”

Ruby couldn’t decipher the look on dad’s face. Sympathetic maybe? Hoping to put this conversation back on track, she spoke up, “So uh, what happened next?”

Luckily, Dad was on board with it. “Well, after Raven left, I needed help. We had all these plans about taking alternate missions so that one of us was always home, but with her gone, all that just fell apart; and I didn’t have another job to fall back on. Summer and Qrow offered to move in while I looked for something sustainable. It was supposed to be temporary. But what was supposed to be a few weeks turned into a few months. Then it was four months. Then six.”

Qrow chuckled, finding some of his humor again. “That was about when the Second War happened.”

~

“Didn’t you hear me?!” Summer was pacing the floor of their bedroom, hands knotted up in her hair.

“Yeah, I heard you.” Qrow watched her from the bed, leaning back against the headboard. “I just don’t see what the problem is?”

She whirled on him. “How can you not! I just told you I like another guy!”

“So?”

“…So? So!?!? Aren’t you mad? Jealous?! Something?!”

He held her gaze, asking her seriously, “Are you going to leave me?”

“What? No!!” She cried back.

“Then it’s fine.” He relaxed back again.

“No, it’s not! I shouldn’t like anyone else! It should only be you!” He started to worry when her distress began to hint on tears.

“Hey, hey come here.” He called softly, and she came. He let her curl up against his side, wrapping an arm around her and soothing a hand through her hair. “Look, I get it. Being from Atlas, you’re surrounded by all these… close-minded pricks who will tell you there’s only one way to be and one way to think. But you and I have been around the world. How many people have you met that have told you differently?”

She sniffled, “A lot, I guess. But I still don’t get why you’re so okay with this.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

She placed a hand on his chest. “Sweetheart, don’t take this the wrong way but, you can be pretty insecure sometimes.”

He blinked. Huh. Why… didn’t it bother him? As he thought about it though, there was only one conclusion he could make. “I, I guess, being with you is just one of the things I feel really certain about.”

Her eyes widened marginally, and then she reached up, cupping his face in her hand. “Qrow, I love you.”

He smiled, turning his head to kiss her palm. “Love you too.”

~

“Aaah!” Yang swooned.

“Qrow can be extremely romantic when he’s not trying.” Dad chuckled, chin in his hand. It made Ruby notice the ring he was wearing – one of her uncle’s; the black and white one he always had on his index finger. She looked from him to her uncle, who was trying to feign off his embarrassment with an overexaggerated cough.

“Anyways,” Uncle Qrow diverted, “It was pretty obvious Summer’s feelings weren’t going anywhere soon, and we weren’t just going to leave Taiyang high and dry when he needed us the most. So, we figured, maybe trying to date each other was the best solution?”

“That was the best solution?” Yang echoed, disbelieving.

He shrugged. “Eh, better then running off without any real explanation, or trying to ignore it and just letting all the tension become unbearable. The worst Tai could do is say no.”

“And I did say no. At least, at first.”

~

“I’m sorry, but what?” Tai looked at them from the dough he’d been kneading for bread, flour smudges dotting his face. “You guys are messing with me.”

Summer was rocking nervously on her feet, her hands clasped behind her. “Tai, we wouldn’t joke about this. We’re not that mean.”

“I, still!” He shook his head, feeling like his brain just couldn’t compute what it was being told. “You two are just okay with this?”

“I mean, we’re the ones asking. So, yeah.” Qrow spoke up from where he sat on the countertop.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to though.” Summer added hurriedly. “I know you’re under a lot of stress right now and, maybe dating isn’t really a big priority on your mind. Especially if you’re looking for someone more like Raven-”

“Trust me,” He scoffed, rolling the dough with a bit more ferocity. “Dating someone like Raven is the last thing I’ll ever do.” He sighed then, shaking his head. “It’s just, look I don’t want to come between you two-”

“Coming between us actually sounds pretty nice.” Qrow leered.

“Qrow!” Summer smacked his arm.

Tai flushed a little, sparing his old partner an admonishing look. “You’re terrible.” That only earned him a wink. “Anyways, you know what I mean. Besides, how would it even work?”

“We’d do it at your pace.” Summer said, crossing over to his end of the kitchen. “Just because Qrow and I are well-established doesn’t mean we can’t take things slow for you. If that’s what you want.”

“Yeah. And if it’s too weird, then it’s too weird.” The other man added. “We call it quits and laugh about it in a few years from now.”

They were really serious about this, weren’t they?

He bit the inside of his cheek, looking down as doubts and fears spiraled through his mind. “Can I think about this for a little while?”

She placed a gentle hand on his arm. “Of course. Take as much time as you need.”

~

“I remember considering every possible tragedy for days.” Dad laughed softly, his gaze distant, seeing way past the little breakroom they were in. “Brought up each and every one of them – and one day Summer pointed out that I was only ever talking about everything that could go wrong. I never once seemed to consider that anything could go well. When I realized I was only holding myself back, it was easier to say yes.”

“Even though it wasn’t that long after m- Raven left?” Yang asked.

“Remember what I would tell you girls all the time during training? That the most dangerous thing you can do is wait too long to act?”

Oh, Ruby remembered alright; it was practically a mantra in her brain. Sometimes, she wondered if it was because of that single statement that her semblance became speed based.

“Well, that’s a Vacuon saying.” Their dad continued. “But, back home, it didn’t just apply to combat. The whole continent is just one big death trap waiting to happen – there’s no time for second guesses or hesitation for a lot of stuff. Especially love. So that’s what friends would say to each other when they were pining over someone; because come tomorrow, you or they could be gone.” He sighed. “The only thing I wasn’t ready for was losing someone again.”

“But who’s ever ready for that?” Qrow said, downing the remainder of his coffee.

Ruby looked his way. “How long were you and mom together before all this?”

He gave a thoughtful grunt. “We got together towards the end of third year. Didn’t really become serious until the end of fourth though. We’d been together about three years by the time this dork joined us.” He indicated the man across from him. “The three of us got serious a lot faster.”

She calculated the rest in her head. Four total for dad and mom, seven for mom and Qrow. Just a few years ago, that would have sounded like a lifetime to her – but her experiences both at Beacon and beyond taught her just how quickly time went by. She wished it had been longer or that even a fifth chair at this very table could have been filled.

“Though, I never expected it to get that far.”

She found herself pulled from her thoughts, glancing towards her uncle. “What do you mean?”

He both half-shrugged and half-smiled, making him look a bit askew. “When Tai first accepted, I had no expectations. I figured we’d all go on a few dates, just kind of enjoy things for a while, and then we’d probably move on.”

“I thought that way at first too.” Dad agreed. “But one morning, I woke up with both of you on either side of me, and realized I didn’t want you two to ever leave. That’s when I decided I wanted more than a fling.”

It was Qrow’s turn to look a little distant. “Heh, I remember the exact moment I fell in love with each of you.”

Dad rose an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“After the picnic - the one for your birthday? When we were watching the rain. I kind of just looked at you and,” He waved his hand fruitlessly in the air, trying to grasp at words he couldn’t say. “Well, it just clicked.”

“What about with-”

He held up a hand to stop Yang, grinning sheepishly now. “That one is not PG-rated, firecracker. Let’s just say, Sums looks really gorgeous in the moonlight.”

That brought about an onslaught of half-formed ideas Ruby quickly discarded before she grossed herself out. Desperate to change the topic, she hastily inquired, “Who proposed?”

The two men shared a look, saying in unison, “Summer did.”

~

Summer was not a romantic. That was as true as the grass was green.

So, when Tai and Qrow arrived home to see a double-locked box placed on the table, an envelope addressed to each of them set in front of it, they were surprised to say the least.

“It’s a… riddle?” Tai asked once he’d finished reading his letter over.

Summer gave an affirmative hum. She was sitting on the couch, rocking Yang to sleep. “One for each of you. The answers lead to the keys that open the box.”

“Uh, Summer, not that I don’t appreciate the effort and all, but you know I’m not a strong reader, right?” Qrow appeared a bit conflicted.

“I never said you couldn’t help each other.” She smiled at them.

They looked at each other, quickly trading their letters. Tai read over Qrow’s carefully.

I see the moon set and the sun rise,

I’m close to the heart but I’m the head.

Where am I?

Qrow scratched the back of his head. “I don’t think I get this one either.”

Their girlfriend got to her feet. “While you two figure it out, I’m going to lay Yang down for her nap.”

The moment she was up the stairs, his boyfriend eyed the box. “We could just break into it.”

“No!” Tai bumped their hips together, both of them chuckling. “Come on man, we can do this. Riddles are all about personifying something with characteristics it doesn’t normally have. I doubt Summer hid these the keys very far either, so they’ve got to be somewhere around here.”

“You know where mine is, don’t you?”

He smiled guiltily. “I have a few guesses. But I know you’re smart enough to figure it out. Just think about it – what in the house sees the sun and moon set?”

He watched as the other man pivoted slowly on his heels, looking around for anything to jog the answer. When he got three-quarters around, the door caught his attention – or more specifically, the glass in the center of it. ”A window.” Three seconds later, his eyes widened. “Our bedroom window.”

Gods, he was cute when he was excited. “Yeah, that was my first thought.”

Tai followed him up the stairs and down the hall to their room, watching Qrow quickly flock to the window on one side of the room. Finding nothing there, he hurried to the other side.

Nothing.

“It’s not here.” Qrow grumbled, tapping his foot. “Read it to me again.” After Tai had complied, he stood there, murmuring to himself. “The sun rises…” He looked to one window, “But the moon sets.” He looked to the opposite. “Whatever it is has to see both. But it’s at the top- Oh!” He whirled, yanking open the window in enthusiastic fervor before leaping right out in a flurry of feathers.

“Eureka, I think he’s got it.” Tai grinned as the little crow went flying up towards the roof. A few moments later, he was returning, a metal key held triumphantly in his beak. Tai rose his arm, allowing the bird to land on his gauntlet. “Good job.” He reached up to pet him on the head, a gesture that Qrow would never, ever admit he liked but also never complained he got. “Alright, let’s find the other one.”

Returning downstairs, one prize in hand, they found Summer was back on the couch.

Qrow showed off the key to her. “Your little nest up there was a nice touch.”

She giggled. “I thought you’d like it.” She looked to him. “Figure out the other one yet?”

“Not quite.” Tai read his over once more.

My life is a world of color.

Brown, green, yellow, brown again.

Where am I?

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Has to be something with all these colors.”

“You don’t say?” Summer quipped unhelpfully.

“Careful, your Atlesian snob is showing.” She stuck her tongue out at him. He stuck his right back.

Qrow laid his arm on his shoulder, leaning in. “I don’t get yours at all. Why are the colors repeating?”

“Huh?”

“Well it says ‘again’. That means it’s repeating, right?”

Repeating? He looked at the riddle one more time.

No.

They were cycling. Cycling through life. And there was only one thing in the house that did that.

He pointed the letter at Summer, “That was clever.” Before gently pushing Qrow off of him so he could head outside.

As he searched through his garden, he heard the faintest shout of ‘Oh, the flowers!’ from his boyfriend that made him chuckle. It didn’t take him long to find the key, placed delicately on one corner of the wooden frame. He picked it up before going back inside.

He clinked his together with Qrow’s like celebratory wine glasses. “We are officially key buddies.”

Summer stood, patting the top of the box. “Alright, time for the prize. You guys ready?”

Oh right! He’d been so caught up solving the riddles, he hadn’t even thought of what could possibly be inside and it was so left-field for Summer to do something like this that it was hard to imagine what she’d feel was worth so much effort. As he and Qrow turned their key in the locks and opened it, nothing he had in mind even came close.

It in itself wasn’t anything outstandingly special – just a simple piece of white paper with a single question on it. But the question itself was enormous.

Will you two marry me?

Qrow was the first to react. “Summer, you really want this?”

She was a ball of nervousness, biting her lip and holding fistfuls of her skirt. All she could do was nod.

The shock faded to joy, and then the other man was leaping up, pulling her into his arms. “Yeah! Yes! Of course I’ll marry you.” The relief on her face was almost instant.

Watching them hug and laugh, Tai almost felt like an outsider. He wanted to share in it but, he couldn’t. There was a huge problem with all of this.

“Tai? Are you okay?” Summer’s voice was small, drawing his eyes to her. The two had stopped celebrating when they realized he was still standing there, shell-shocked. “If, if you want to say no-”

His chest clenched. No, no, that wasn’t it! He couldn’t let her think that. He said in a rush, “Summer, I’d marry you in a heartbeat. That’s, not the problem.”

“Then what is?” Qrow asked. “If it’s ‘cause you and Rae still legally are, we can-”

“That’s not it either. We divorced.” He cut in, his stomach fluttering as the butterflies invaded.

If they didn’t get it, there was only one thing to do.

With the table between them, Tai just decided to use it, standing on it, only to get down on one knee. He took one of Qrow’s hands in his, meeting his eyes. “I can’t say yes to Summer, until you say yes to me.”

The look that crossed his face was one of surprise, then it dissolved into laughter. “That’s all you need? By the Gods Tai! You were scaring me!” The laughter faded to something more sincere as his hand clung to his and Qrow lent down until their foreheads almost brushed. “Yes. Absolutely yes.”

Tai was so happy, he kissed him.

And then, when they pulled apart, he kissed Summer next.

Then Qrow kissed her.

“Boys, there’s something else.” She was giggling, grinning, an arm around each of their necks, tears of joy beaded in the corners of her eyes. “The box has a false bottom. There’s something else in there you both really need to see.”

“What is it, our engagement rings?” Qrow said as he pulled away, and though he was joking, it was probably the right guess.

Tai slipped off the table. They found the nick in the wood, and used one of the keys to pull out the wooden board.

Underneath was just another slip of paper with two single, life-changing words written on it.

We’re pregnant.

~

“That’s how she told you?!” Ruby nearly shrieked her delight.

Qrow ruffled her hair. “Yep. That’s how we found out about you kiddo.”

“It’s a moment I’ll never forget.” Dad beamed. “We were so busy those days, planning for you and the wedding.”

“June 21st, right?” Yang asked. Her expression was strange, like she wasn’t quite understanding something.

“Yep, the-”

“First day of summer. We know dad.” Ruby finished before he could. He was always so ridiculously proud of that fact.

But his mirth, if possible, was even more uncontainable than usual. “And it’s when the last of the newborn crows are learning to fly. You know, the ones born in May.”

She stared. “Dad… why?” Surely there were laws against being that cheesy, right?

Her uncle, whose birthday truly was in May, groaned. “I’m convinced it’s because he wanted to pester me with it for the rest of my life.”

“It’s a great bonus.” He winked, ducking under the empty Styrofoam cup that was tossed at him. “Don’t litter!”

“I was throwing it at the trash.” Was his argument.

“Oh har de har.”

In the lull that followed as her dad stood to properly dispose of the cup, Ruby glanced at the clock. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw it was only five minutes later from the last time she checked. What? That was impossible!

“That doesn’t make sense.”

At first, Ruby thought her sister had noticed the clock as well, but her frown was directed at their uncle.

“What doesn’t?” He asked.

“Dad’s birthday is in August.”

“Uh, yeah? ‘Fraid I ain’t following.”

Yang’s eyes narrowed. “Did you marry dad before you were in love with him?”

What? What was she talking about? Ruby had to backpedal through the conversation to catch up, until she recalled what her uncle had said about the rainstorm after the picnic. That would have happened an entire two months after the wedding.

“Uh, well.” Uncle Qrow rubbed the back of his head, looking a little sheepish.

Dad’s chair scrapped as he plopped back down into it. “Dragon, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but your uncle is not the brightest crayon in the box.”

“I think you earn that spot buddy, considering you still married me.”

“You used illegal wooing!”

~

Nights in Patch were quiet this early into spring, where the island had not yet fully come to life after winter’s sleep. That’s why Qrow could easily hear him coming well before he reached the spot where he was hidden at the bottom of the porch steps.

“You’re drinking?” Tai asked.

“Got something to celebrate, right?” He lifted an unopened bottle from the six pack on the ground, offering it towards him. “Join me?”

His fiancé – that was going to take some getting used to – hesitated, before coming down the steps to sit beside him, taking the proffered drink and twisting off the cap. “Cheers.”

They clinked the bottles together, taking a long, generous gulp. Qrow sighed, propping himself up by his elbows on one of the steps behind him. “Where’s Sums?”

Tai settled back against the railing so he could look at him, letting the bottle dangle from his fingers. “Turned in for the night. Guess now we know why she’s been so tired lately.”

“And cranky.” He joked, taking another sip. He set the bottle down beside him. “Been thinking. Since she’s gonna be calling up Oz to sideline herself, maybe I should ask him if he’ll increase my field time instead. Keep our income steady.”

“And keep yourself away.” Tai remarked bluntly.

He did his best not to flinch. Should have expected he’d see right through him. “It’s safer that way.”

“And what excuses will you make when the baby’s here?”

“Stop.”

“Qrow-”

“Drop it.” He ordered, giving him a sharp look. “Stuff like that is easy for you to say. You don’t know what it’s like, living life with only loaded dice to play with.”

Tai frowned. “Is that why you said yes? Am I just another gamble?”

The abrupt change in topic threw him off balance, irritation washed away by confusion. “What are you talking about?”

He sighed, looking out towards the field. “I know you’ve never been good at expressing certain emotions. So when you said yes to marrying me, it made me really happy. Because I thought maybe that was your way of telling me you loved me. But…” The small smile that had formed fell quickly. “It wasn’t, was it?”

“Of course not.” From the way Tai’s face immediately twisted with hurt, Qrow realized that had not been the right thing to say. “That’s not, I mean – shit! Let me explain.” He sat up, very aware of the eyes following him. He ran a hand over the back of his neck, hoping this was going to make some semblance of sense. “Okay so, people get together and fall in love all the time, right? There’s not really anything more required than that – so what’s a marriage for?”

“Uh, to commit yourself to that person?”

“Exactly! I,” He faltered, the words trying to get stuck in his throat. But for all he couldn’t tell Tai, he had to say this. “My entire life, I’ve spent feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere. Even the tribe, a bunch of lowlifes, didn’t want me. That’s why I ended up at Beacon. It was their way of kicking me out.”

He looked towards the sky and its broken moon. From his bed in the dorm, he always sought that sight before going to sleep. Seeing it through their window, he used to imagine the wooden stripes dividing the glass into squares were the bars of a jail cell. Because that was what the school had felt like: somewhere he’d been locked away, so he couldn’t return home.

But over time, without him noticing, that feeling slowly changed. It wasn’t until they left the window open one hot night, and the sky was open and free, that Qrow felt likewise.

“For the longest time, I was convinced Beacon would be just the same. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it never did.” He looked to the other man. “You and Summer accepted me in a way no one else has. I look at you two and I see home.” He reached out, laying his hand over Tai’s. “I guess what I’m saying is, I may not be ready to say I love you yet, but I am ready to say that I’ll be by your side forever.”

Tai’s eyes widened. Then they started to glisten.

“A-Are you crying?”

“No!” He hastily wiped away the evidence, sniffling. “Just meant a lot to hear something like that.”

Qrow snickered softly. What a hopeless romantic. “If that’s not enough though, I understand. We can wait. All of this is really fast for you and, erm-” The feeling of Tai’s fingers slipping into his own cut him off.

“After a declaration like that, how could I ever want to wait?”

~

“Looking back on it, we really should have. It could have gone wrong in about a hundred thousand different ways.” Dad reflected. “But we were 23 and stupid.”

“Hey, I’m 43 and still stupid.” Qrow joked as he got to his feet.

“You’re 45 Qrow.”

“See? Proved my own point.” He threw back over his shoulder, heading for the various drink machines set on the counter.

Ruby bit her lip to stop herself from giggling. As they waited for him to get back, she sipped at her tea and thought of something else to ask. The wedding seemed like an obvious one, but she already knew the details on that one – or well, she knew them as long as she added her uncle to it.

Dad had told her long ago that it had been a simple backyard affair, with as many of dad and mom’s sides of the family invited as they could find as well as any classmates from Beacon that hadn’t yet moved away from the area and some local friends from Patch. They had said their vows underneath the tallest Maple tree in the yard. Then dad, mom – and Qrow – climbed up into tree and placed a nest within its branches, a symbolic sign of the new life to come to their home and their promise to care for her until she was ready to fly.

That part was always her favorite. Now with all this new perspective, she finally understood why they’d specifically made it a nest and whose idea it was in the first place.

“Thinking hard about something kiddo?” Qrow asked, taking a seat.

“Just not sure what to ask next.” She deflected, knowing if she told him her true train of thought, he probably would be too embarrassed to be completely honest.

“Well, I got tons of little tales about what a terror your mom was when she was pregnant with you.”

Dad waved him down. “Oh come off it. She wasn’t that bad.”

He slammed his cup down, some of the coffee spilling over. “She made me fly out at 2am to find watermelon. Watermelon!”

“That doesn’t sound that bad?” Yang said, tossing some napkins his way.

He ignored them in favor of staring her down. “It. Was. Hailing.”

Dad snorted behind his hand, shaking his head. He leaned her way, voice low, “He’s just being dramatic Ruby. She really was a sweetheart.”

“Hey, hey! I heard that! You had experience, so your opinion does not count!”

“I reject that, considering I was the one who was with Summer most of the time.” He grinned. “Though, you still got stuck rushing her to the hospital. Lucky you.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Qrow buried his head in his hands.

“How that’d work out?” Her sister inquired, looking as amused as Ruby felt. She wondered if she was envisioning the same level of chaos she was (Okay, maybe imagining the car catching on fire was a little too over the top).

“Sums went into early labor. Ruby wasn’t actually due to be born until December 16th, but she never did like to wait.” Dad threw her a teasing look. “Qrow freaked out, majorly, and I was miles away on a field trip.”

~

“You have to come home, now!” Qrow was practically shouting through the phone.

Tai could hear him rushing around the house, throwing things together. “I can’t just leave 30 kids in the middle of a forest Qrow.”

“Forget them! We’re having a crisis here!”

He tried to exercise his best calming voice. “Qrow, calm down. It’s going to be fine. This might even be a false alarm.”

“F-False alarm?! Those happen!?”

“Yes.” He stressed. “And even if the baby is born now, we’re far enough along at this point they’ll be fine.”

It seemed to work – for three seconds. “But you’re supposed to be here. You’re supposed to go into the room with her and I’m supposed to watch Yang. What am I even going to do with Yang? I-”

Before the tangent could go on, there was a faint “Qrow give me the phone.” And then suddenly Summer’s voice was in his ear, strained and out of breath. “Sorry, he’s losing his mind.”

“I can tell.” Tai replied drily, though he quickly shifted to something more sincere. “How you holding up sweetheart?”

“Just feeling like I’m about to have a baby, so never better.” Was the sarcastic quip. “But, don’t worry too much. I’ll get things handled if this numbskull can’t pull it together.”

He smiled, though he could feel his own anxiety pulling at his heart now. He wished he was there. He was supposed to be there. “We’ll start heading back now and I’ll be there in a few hours. Are you sure you don’t want me to call some of the neighbors at least?”

In the background, he heard a violent curse from Qrow. A sharp gasp from Summer, and then after a long moment, she said, “Uh, actually, I think we’ve got it now.”

~

Dad abruptly trailed off. He seemed to look around the room, as if the rest of the story would be scripted out on the walls around him, before his gaze finally rested on Qrow. “Can you-?”

He just lifted up his hands pacifyingly, saying softly, “I’ll tell it but, it’s your call man.”

Ruby shared a look with Yang, neither of them masking how confused they were.

Dad heaved a long, low sigh. “It’s fine.”

“Alright.” Qrow nodded, turning to them. “So, as your dad so eloquently put it, I was maybe a little… distressed.”

~

This couldn’t be happening. This shouldn’t be happening! Qrow was cursing his luck as he yanked open the closet door under the stairs, trying to find a luggage bag for all the stuff they needed to bring. His heart was pounding in his ears. Six weeks early; six whole weeks. Tai said it’d be fine but, if his semblance did this, was it really? What if their organs weren’t properly developed? What if they’re born with a defect? He should have stayed away more. How could he be so stupid!

He hurried back to the coffee table. Summer was on the couch, a hand on her stomach and talking to Tai, calm despite the situation. He started shoving all the items he’d dragged from various parts of the house into the bag. Clothes for his wife and the child, various other baby things like a blanket and hat. His hands were shaking. What else should he bring?

“Don’t forget this.”

That voice, painfully familiar, had his lungs freezing up. He whirled around.

And there Raven was, coming down the stairs with Yang in her arms. His niece had been down for her nap and was blinking blearily, not completely aware that a stranger was holding her.

So in shock by what he was seeing, he spat out the words almost unconsciously, “What the fuck!”

“What language little brother. There’s a child in the room.” Her eyes flicked from him to Summer, snidely adding, “Children, almost.”

Qrow looked back at his wife, panicked for a whole new reason as he motioned for her to get off the phone. They didn’t need Tai picking up on Raven’s voice – not with him halfway across the island and no way to get to his daughter.

Summer grasped onto the cue, saying quickly, “Look we’ve gotta head to the hospital now. I’ll update you more once I’m admitted, okay? Love you!”

He turned back to his sister as she stopped right in front of him, numbly accepting his niece when she was shoved into his arms. “What are you doing here?”

She arched an eyebrow. “You were having such a fit that it was impossible to ignore. And if I watched this clown show any longer without intervening, I was afraid I was going to lose some brain cells.”

His first instinct was to say no. The rejection wouldn’t quite leave his mouth and he was just left with his jaw hanging open.

Ignoring him, Raven crossed over to where Summer was, settling on the couch beside her. “How you holding up?”

“Mentally or physically? Because both are kind of bad right now.” She said, doubling over a bit and groaning.

“Don’t worry, it gets a lot worse.”

“Not. Helping.”

Raven smiled. It looked so alien on her Qrow almost thought he imagined it. Then she ran a hand along her back, soothing the way she used to be back when things were good. “Come on, unless you want to have this thing right in the living room, we got to get you up.”

“I know.” Summer took a few deep breathes as she waited for the contraction to pass. Once it had, she looked to the woman beside her. “Give me a hand?”

“Of course.”

~

Ruby stared at the tea ring at the bottom of her cup, unable to believe what she was hearing. Raven had really done that? Now she almost felt bad for what she said before.

“So, she was there?” Yang’s voice was weak, conflicted.

Uncle Qrow sighed. “Yeah. She was.”

“But, why?”

“Even after all this time, I’m still not really sure.”

Dad spoke up. “The only thing I could figure was that since we all hadn’t been apart that long, she still cared enough to come when we really needed her. Or that because we’d all been there for her when she’d been through childbirth herself, she felt obligated to do the same for Summer.” He shrugged. “Told you she was complicated.”

“What um,” Ruby tapped her fingers against the Styrofoam. “What happened when you finally got to the hospital?”

“The nurses almost had to admit me for an aneurysm.” If it was meant to be a joke, he didn’t deliver it with a punch of humor. “Honestly, I’m glad Qrow was the one out with Yang at the time when I got there so he could give me the heads up.”

“At the time?”

“I couldn’t handle being in the room for long periods of time but I also wanted to be there for Summer.” Qrow explained. “So, Raven and I switched off.”

“I had been pretty pissed later on when I found that out.” Dad huffed.

“Only reason I did it was ‘cause Summer just pulled Raven down at one point and said ‘You even think of running off with Yang, and I swear I will burn all of Remnant to get her back’.” He chuckled. “Could have been the meds talking though.”

Ruby didn’t miss the small but warm smile on her sister’s face. It made her smile too.

“Anyways, with everything that was happening, there really wasn’t time to deal with it.” Dad continued. “I knew I could trust Qrow with Yang. So, I was with Summer the rest of the way. I didn’t leave her side, not once.” He ran a hand over his face, looking tired just remembering it. “She was in labor for fifteen grueling hours. But finally, you came.”

~

Tai trudged down the hallway, stiff and tired but unable to stop smiling. He picked out his husband and ex-wife immediately when he entered the waiting room. Raven seemed to have dozed off, Yang sprawled along her chest. Qrow was wide awake though, bent over, hands clasped like a prayer and foot tapping a nervous rhythm on the tile floor.

When he noticed him though, he almost tipped his chair over in his hurry to get up and rush over. “Well?” He asked, practically holding his breath.

Tai’s grin became even wider. “We’ve got a girl.”

“A girl.” Qrow repeated with reverence, and joy rose to his face like the sun to morning. He was laughing, unabashed as he threw his arms around him in a tight embrace. “We’ve got a little girl!”

He returned the hug, kissing his temple tenderly. “She’s a bit small but we expected that. 5 pounds, 3 ounces. 17.1 inches. But,” He cupped the other man’s chin in his hand, wiping away the budding tear in the corner of his eye. “She’s perfectly healthy.”

He laughed again, warring against more tears. “Thank the Brothers.”

Tai rubbed his cheekbone, saying softly, “They’re still cleaning up right now, but Summer’s asking for you.”

“Yeah, okay.” He gripped the back of his shirt, nose nuzzling his ear as he whispered “You gonna be okay out here?”

“I got it.” He whispered back, squeezing him just a little tighter. “Go on already.”

Qrow kissed him softly, murmuring against his lips, “Love you” before he pulled away and started down the hall, a spring to his step he’d never seen before. Tai heard his fading but excited ‘A girl!’ as he disappeared amidst the hospital staff. It pulled one last, fond smile from him, before he took a deep breath, turned around and met blood red eyes.

Immediately, he wished he’d asked his husband to stay. Then subsequently felt guilty for it. No need to ruin Qrow and Summer’s moment. He was an adult. He could handle his ex-wife on his own.

He walked over, feeling stiffer than before and sat in the chair Qrow had vacated.

“Congrats.” She offered almost flippantly, like talking to him was as nonconsequential as sharing the weather report with a stranger in a store. Why did it matter so little to her when to him it was like everything around him needed to stop just to handle it?

“Thanks.” He replied, swallowing against a suddenly dry mouth. “And thank you. For helping out. You didn’t need to do that.” She made a noncommittal hum. He looked between her and Yang, uncomfortable with how wrong the whole picture looked, and held out his hands. “I can take her now.”

Raven placed a hand along Yang’s back. “She’s fine.”

Tai fought the urge to rip her from her arms. She was, technically, her daughter – what right did he have to say she couldn’t hold her? He let his hands drop. “Okay.”

“She’s going to have my wild hair, I can already tell.” She twirled a finger around one of their daughter’s blonde curls, side-eyeing him. “What about this new brat of yours? What color are her eyes?”

He grit out, “Blue, like all babies.”

“But that’s not at all what I meant, and you know it.” She bit right back.

He could feel the beginning thump of an angry headache. “Don’t treat me like an idiot. We know she can have silver eyes.”

“Yet you didn’t consider the ramifications?” She twisted towards him. “Do you think anyone would hesitate to kill two children instead of one just to get the job done?”

“You don’t get a say in what I do with my life anymore Raven!”

“But I do get a say in hers!”

“You don’t! You gave up that right!” They were practically right in each other’s faces, snarling away like dogs.

The beginning wail from Yang pulled them back though, both of them looking down at her. On instinct, Tai reached for her, but Raven was quicker, shushing and rocking her with a gentleness he never even knew she was capable of.

Yet, it was the practiced ease of it that peaked his fury anew. “How many times have you broken into her room?”

Her smirk hid nothing. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Something sick twisted up inside him. After spending the first few months of Yang’s life barely able to sleep out of fear that Raven would come back and make good on her promise to take her away, after the countless conversations and reassurances Summer or Qrow had to give him just to ease the anxiety, after all that, to find out now she’d invaded his home anyways was like a punch to the gut. He shook, the barrel of emotions thrashing inside of him leaving him off-balance.

“Give me my daughter. Now.” Tai commanded, so unsure of himself at the moment he wasn’t sure what he’d do if she refused.

But she didn’t. There was no hesitation in the way she dropped the blubbering infant into his hands, just as she had done nineteen months ago. No regret as she got to her feet and looked down at him with disdain and disgust. “I was merely making a point. If it’s been this easy for me, how easy is it going to be for her?” She turned her back to him. “A fool like you should know that even if she strikes the killing blow, it’s you who first started digging their graves.”

Though the rebuttal was on the tip of his tongue, he let her walk away. He’d learned long ago and much too late there was no winning with her.

Instead, he looked down at his fussing daughter, rocking her gently and kissing her forward. “It’s okay little dragon. Daddy’s here.”

He’d prove Raven wrong. Yang and her little sister were both going to live long, happy lives. He’d make sure of it.

~

The cup in her hand fell apart as Ruby crushed it. She took it back. She didn’t feel bad about what she said at all.

The action didn’t go unnoticed.

“Gee kiddo, tell us how you really feel.” Her uncle’s jab was meant to be teasing, but she only felt ashamed.

“I, uh,” She pushed her mess to the side to ignore it. That went double for the knowing look her dad was sending her.

Luckily, Yang spoke up before she had to explain herself, “So, what? She cared about me back then?”

“Honest opinion?” Uncle Qrow replied, “In her own, messed up way, she’s always cared about you. She just… cared about herself more.”

“So then why did you want her back so bad?” Ruby demanded.

“Ruby-”

She cut her dad off before he could try to stop her. “No! I mean it! She’s awful. She’s always been awful! And she doesn’t deserve to be part of our family!”

There, she said it! She finally said the one thing she thought since she first understood who Raven was!

Oh Gods, she said it. She couldn’t look her uncle or sister in the eye.

“I-I, I mean,”

“No, you’re right.” The strength in Yang’s voice when she said that was an odd comfort. “She’s had my whole life to try and bother to be an actual mom and where is she now? Not here.” She huffed, before glancing at dad. “I’m sorry for all the times I gave you a hard time about it. I used to think that you were just trying to hide her from me, but I get now that you just wanted to look out for me.”

Qrow rubbed the back of his neck. “Er, I’m sorry too. For uh, well. You know.”

Dad shook his head. “If you both need to apologize then I do too. I could have been more forthcoming, more understanding. Sometimes, I just let my fears get the better of me. I loved Raven once, I really did. But when we divorced and I could look back on it with a new perspective, I realized I never wanted her back in my life.”

“I had just been so certain she’d change, you know?” Her uncle claimed. “Remember when we first met? How much of a bastard I was? I was convinced I changed for the better because of you and Summer. That’s why I thought firecracker here could make all the difference for Raven. I pushed for it so hard, thinking she just needed the right person in her life. Turned out, the real problem was I just wasn’t giving myself enough credit for my own effort. I wanted to change. She never has.”

Smiling, dad reached out, placing a hand on his wrist. “Well, I’m glad you did. Raven may have been one of the worst parts of my life, but you’ve always been one of my best.”

He turned red, spluttering in embarrassment. “Yo-You’re such a sap!”

Ruby felt content, hearing her family speak so openly and calmly. It was as if a chapter of their lives had finally closed. She still remembered the long evenings where the very utterance of Raven’s name made the house a minefield. But things had changed enough even she was comfortable to say, “I really hated it when anyone brought her up. It felt like talking about her did nothing but make everyone argue. So I thought, if this is what she can do without her even being here, how bad would it get if she was? I was afraid if she actually came home, that she’d tear us apart.”

“You never told me you felt like that.” Yang frowned.

“She was your mom, not mine. I didn’t want to be a jerk and tell you I hated her, when it was so important to you.” She explained. “I thought I was being a good sister.”

“You’re a great sister.”

Ruby opened her mouth, about to respond.

Then the door opened. “Rose?” The attendant called.

Her smile turned nervous. “Even if I’m not actually your sister?”

Yang just grinned. “Even then.”

She clasped her shaking hands together, took a deep breath, and got to her feet.

It was time.

~

She couldn’t do this. She just couldn’t!

She paced to and fro in the little garden area outside of the medical office, the manila folder in her hand crinkling as she held it too tightly. Inside of it was nothing but a sheet of paper with the results of the paternity test – but she couldn’t convince herself to open it. What if this really DID change everything? She could never take this moment back.

“Ruby, we don’t have to do this here.” Dad was sitting on the brick housing of a large planter with Qrow and Yang. Little white daisies poked out between them.

“No!” She exclaimed. “If I don’t do this now then I might put it off forever.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing kiddo.” Her uncle said as he lent back on his hands. He looked down when he accidentally crushed some of the flowers under his palm.

“Hey, where was that advice when I wanted to stay up past 10?” Her sister joked.

“But I did let you stay up past 10.” Qrow faltered when dad gave him his patented Stare of Doom. He lifted up his fist, where the little daisies he’d flattened were drooping sadly. “Forgive me?”

“Pffft.” It was a good thing that Dad cracked easily.          

Normally, she would have laughed too. But she was too anxious to find anything funny. This was ridiculous, wasn’t it? She was being dumb. She had magic eyes for maiden’s sake! What was a potential shift in parentage compared to that? Nothing, that’s what!

She grabbed on the edge of the folder.

Kept holding.

And holding.

And – She groaned, smacking herself in the face with it. “Why is this so hard!”

“Anything we can do to make it easier?” Yang offered.

Ruby thought it over, before shoving the folder in her hands. “You read it first!”

“What? Are you sure?”

She nodded frantically. Maybe if she saw her not react badly to it, it would calm her down.

“Okay.” Yang lifted the folder up, flipped it open. At first, her expression was only pensive as she read it over, before one eyebrow ever so slightly rose. Then she nodded. “Yeah that’s about what I expected.”

She waved her arms. “What does that mean?”

“It means you’re an alien ‘cause your head’s always in outer space sis.” Yang closed it and held it back out to her.

Ruby huffed irritably as she snatched it back. That hadn’t helped at all!

She paced left.

Then right.

Left again.

Stopped in front of her dad and uncle. “You two read it next.”

Dad took it without complaint. “Alright sweetheart.” He glanced at the man next to him. “You ready?”

Qrow looked decidedly more agitated, his heel starting to tap on the ground, his fingers drumming along. Still, he shifted close enough their shoulders were touching and announced, “Ready.”

He opened it, both of them looking down at the words written there. After a few seconds, dad started to smile.

Ruby’s heart jumped. So then he had to be-

But no, her uncle started to smile too. Was it actually-?!

Dad looked to Qrow, asking, “Okay?”

He nodded. “Okay.”

In despair, Ruby fell to her knees. ��That didn’t tell me anything!”

Dad closed it, handing it back to her. “We can’t do this part for you Ruby.”

“You’ll feel better once you read it. Trust me.” Her uncle assured. He did look a lot calmer.

She got back to her feet, gazing down at the folder, flicking the corner of it. She asked, mostly to continue to stall, “If mom were here, how would she have reacted?”

They both hummed in thought, but it was dad who spoke first, “There was a joke she had. See, even though we didn’t get the test done, Qrow and I thought eventually we’d just figure it out, once you started taking after one of us. It was obvious you had your mom’s hair, so we hoped maybe you’d get our eye color. Of course, you didn’t. So then we had to start debating the small things like whose nose you had or ears. But, we both knew you were pretty much your mother’s double.”

“She definitely has my scythe wielding skills though.” Uncle Qrow said.

“That’s not a genetic trait.”

“But being awesome is.”

Dad elbowed him in the ribs. “Anyways, whenever your mom overhead us getting into one of these debates she’d cut in and say that our arguments were pointless, since it was obvious that she was both your mom and your dad.” He chuckled. “I bet you that’s what she would have said once she read it.”

“Nah. She would only pretend to read it. Just would have opened it up, not even looked, said something like ‘Of course it’s me!’ and then given it back to you before Tai or I could see.” Qrow pitched in.

“Oh yeah that sounds about right.” Dad agreed. “As far as how she’d feel about the actual results; well, I don’t think it would matter to her either way. To her, it was never the blood relation but the dedication and love you put into being a parent. That’s what she’d say, when she talked about what kind of mom she wanted to be for you two.”

Ruby glanced towards her sister, seeing the surprise and happiness on Yang’s face.

And it was that simple expression that finally made her realize how utterly silly she was being. Because if her sister, after agonizing for years over her biological mother’s neglect, could still find such joy knowing her step-mom cared that much – then, what did Ruby have to worry about, when both Qrow and Tai had been there for her all along?

As self-assurance filled her for the first time that day, she announced, “I’m ready to look.”

“Go for it, kiddo.” Qrow encouraged.

She didn’t second guess herself. She opened the folder and looked down at the sheet of paper, scanning over it. There was a small section at the top with all three of their names listed and the purpose of the visit laid out like an essay paper’s thesis. But what drew her attention was the part half way down, titled: Results.

From the DNA samples provided, it has been concluded the biological father of Ruby Rose is

Her eyes widened.

She looked up, straight at him.

He smiled back at her.

[taetaesource]

Friend with benefit

You had a friend with benefit that was toxic and Changkyun came to save you. 

This took so long and i’m finally out with it. Above 18 only please. 

You took a deep breath and exhaled in great relief when you saw the results on the stick showing a negative. 

Your period has skipped and you have been experiencing some symptoms of what looks like a pregnancy - losing your appetite, feeling nauseous all the time, especially in the mornings and when you smell something weird in the air, the cramps every now and then, the aches on your back and bloatedness in your abdomen. 

Pregnancy scares were not something new to you, but it usually came in the form of irregular periods without other symptoms so this time it got you more worried. When the stick showed negative, you could now safely visit a doctor without the fear of hearing something that you didn’t quite want to hear. 

You dragged yourself out of the toilet and made your way back to your seat. You had managed to grab a pregnancy test kit at the convenient store on your way to office this morning and had to discreetly take it to the toilet with you without anyone noticing. You were quite glad that your colleagues were not busybodies, and everyone tend to be busy typing away on their computers first thing in the morning, so you could use the time to sneak away to the toilet before they start breaking off to make some coffee or breakfast at the pantry, which was next to the toilet. 

“Are you okay? You look really sick,” your colleague Miyeon saw you slumped on your seat with your head resting on the chair and eyes closed. 

“Yeah, I’m just feeling really nauseous.” 

“Still? You were like this for quite a few days.” 

“Yeah, i think it got worse today.” 

“You’d better take the day off and go see a doctor.” 

“Yeah I’m planning on doing that, is boss in already? 

“Yes, he’s in his office already.�� 

You waved Miyeon away and went back to closing your eyes for awhile. 

Your phone buzzed while you were waiting for the bus outside the office building. The text that you were waiting for seemed to come a little too late, but it was always like that with him. Always a little too late. 

From T: Hey, are you okay? 

A text that was all too familiar but never helpful. But at least it came. 

Reply: why not? 

From T: I saw you walking out and you looked pale 

Miyeon and the rest were telling you to take care before you left the office. You had gotten permission from your boss to take the rest of the day off and packed up to leave. He must have heard them and noticed that you were leaving. 

Reply: yeah wasn’t feeling too well so I’m going home now 

From T: okay take care 

You had always wanted him to not show much concern to you, to keep things at a distance, so his reply should be perfect. But somehow it made you feel bitter. Somehow you were always wishing that he would ask a little more - “what happened?”, “How do you feel?”, “Please see a doctor”, “What did the doctor say?”, “how are you going home?” 

But you will slap yourself, telling yourself, “of course his reply would be like this. Why would he give you anything more? You were not even his girlfriend.” You laughed a little at your own stupidity and hailed a taxi to the doctor’s clinic. This was how you brushed your own thoughts and emotions away all the time. Even though the both of you were fucking each other on a regular basis, you were not the one he was going to marry. It made your heart ache even more but it was the truth that you had to accept. 

In the beginning, you would stay in bed and cuddle with him after sex. Forgetting about the world, forgetting about reality and letting time stay in the moment as the two of you indulged in just each other and each other only. You were happy to have him completely in those moments, you felt that that was enough for you, even though the both of you would pretend not to know each other that well on an ordinary day, in front of everyone else. But the taste of bitterness and disappointment hit you completely in the face when he brought his girlfriend up to office one day. She had a big diamond ring on her fourth finger, silently announcing that he had proposed to her. You felt betrayed because of all the times you have slept together, he had not mentioned anything at all about the engagement. In fact, deep down you were expecting them to break up one day because if he had truly loved her, he wouldn’t be fucking around behind her back, isn’t it? From that day on, you’ve decided that friends with benefits should remain as that with no strings attached. So after fucking, you would get up and leave in a fake chirpy way, thanking him for the good fuck and making it a point to always be the one who leave first. 

He did not need your emotions so you have learnt that there was no need to spill those unnecessary emotions on him. Even when you were feeling anxious about the pregnancy scares, when you wished that while he was on top of you, he would kiss the top of your head just because you had a bad day, you never told him. 

The both of you met in school and knew each other for the longest time. He was always the decent, responsible and intelligent guy. A complete opposite from you who is emotional, dramatic and outgoing. The both of you clicked well, but of course a good guy like him would choose to be with the girl who was demure, pampered and submissive. Throughout the years, he had always complained about how his girlfriend was incompatible with him, how he could not tell her about his struggles because she simply did not understand. It was one night when he accidentally revealed that they never had sex in the 10 years together, that you laughed at him and started talking about topics of sex. Talking eventually led to acting out on the real deal and that’s when the both of you became sex buddies, satisfying each other’s needs and nothing more. 

The relationship somehow affected your self-esteem as well. While you were able to make him feel good in bed, hearing his girlfriend, who was now his fiancé, talked about going on a trip to Europe with him, made it clear that you were nobody instantly. While they were going on dates to nice restaurants talking about their day and their future, you could only swipe for guys on Tinder who were uninterested in a relationship, or if they were, they would be creeps or nerds who were below average. But a girl like you could only get such guys isn’t it? So you were never fussy about the guys who chat you up, after all you were not getting any younger. 

He did not really care about the guys that you were going out with anyway. He would ask if you were going out with the guy and if you said yes, he would say good for you, and that if you wanted to stop the sex thing, you could let him know anytime. 

You knew you had to get out of this, but you have been beating your self-esteem so low that you didn’t know how to love yourself anymore. 

“Is this yours?” somebody tapped on your shoulder. It was a young guy who mumbled his speech. 

“Oh yes, thank you,” you replied and turned back around. He didn’t have to disturb you, it was just a useless promotional brochure that slipped out of the bag of medicine that the clinic handed to you. 

“The bus just left, and you look really unwell... maybe you want to take a seat? I don’t think the bus is gonna come soon....” the young man continued, and at this point, you were getting somewhat annoyed. The weather was hot and you were not feeling good, yet this guy kept trying to strike a conversation that you were totally not interested in. 

“No it’s fine, thank you.” But you went to take a seat after probably 5 seconds later. You were planning on taking a seat but you didn’t want to appear to be accepting his offer, in case he took the chance to carry on a conversation with you. 

He sat down next to you after awhile, but he probably figured that you were not in the mood, so he whipped out his Beats earphones and started looking for music in his phone. 

You’ve noticed that he was running an album that you liked and you were surprised. It was an old jazz album and not many people listened to such music, and almost nobody around you have heard of this singer. 

You peeked at his phone to see him scrolling and which song he will eventually choose, and he probably noticed someone staring at his phone, so he stopped scrolling and stared at you. You were embarrassed as you know how annoying it was for a stranger to peek at your phone while standing or sitting next to you on public transport. It was an invasion of personal space and privacy, you could see it that way. So you bit your lips and looked away. 

The guy took off his earphones and hooked them around his neck, he turned to you with his phone, “do you listen to jazz?” 

“Not really, but I know this album. It’s my favourite...” 

“Which is your favourite song?” 

“Paris.”

“Oh, I prefer Tangled Up. It suits her voice better. Paris sounds like a movie soundtrack that shouldn’t have been in this album.” 

You felt rather insulted because everyone has their own choice on what they like or do not like, and he did not have to be so upfront about it. But you were more impressed that he was assertive and objective in voicing his opinion. You were expecting him to praise and go along with your choice since he was trying to hit on you earlier on. 

You shrugged and continued to stare into blank space. 

“Why do you think people like to put things into where they don’t belong?” you asked without turning away from where you were staring. It sounded more like a question that you were asking yourself. 

“Maybe the person knew that it didn’t belong, but put it in anyway wishing that it will be accepted. She probably was hoping to receive some kind of validation so that she can justify why she felt that way about something.”  

“But it hurts even more when nobody validates... It’s like reality giving you a big hit in the face...” 

“Well, you just said that that’s your favourite song. There, she has someone who is validating the reason why she put this song in. And you don’t always need to have people validating your choices, if you feel that you want to give it a shot for yourself, then go for it.” It felt like he knew you were not talking about the song but about your life, and he did not want to openly talk about it to embarrass you. It felt like as if he was someone you could trust and open up to. 

“Do you believe in friends with benefits?” 

“I don’t know if I believe in it or not because I’ve never tried it, but I’m intrigued by it though.” 

“Don’t bother trying. It’s a waste of time.” 

“Then why don’t you waste it on me?” 

By this time, you turned to face him in shock. You saw him eye to eye and realised that his nose is high and sharp, his eyes are nicely shaped they look like the eyes of a little wolf. His lips are thin and his brows are thick. He looks young, probably a few years younger than you are. The best part of him was his voice. It was so deep and raspy that it made him 10 times more attractive. 

After you got home, you could not stop thinking about what happened. You were left dumbfounded and the guy simply left you his number and told you that you could contact him anytime. It sounded like a good deal because you could now move on and forget about T once and for all, plus this guy was not the worst you’ve contemplated. In fact, he was the most attractive of all the guys you have thought of using to get out of your current affair with the attached man. But part of you could not do it because he was literally a stranger you met at the bus stop. You knew nothing about him and what he was truly looking for. 

But as you thought about your relationship with T and how it was heading to doom, you felt that you had nothing to lose at all at this point, so you picked up your phone and texted the bus-stop guy. 

Sent: Hey, do you want to go for a drink? Maybe next week or something? After I recover from this stomach flu....

There was no reply and you were getting a little fidgety so after 15 minutes of silence, you decided to take your medicine and go to sleep so that you don’t have to deal with the anxiety of waiting. 

You woke up in the middle of the night, all groggy from the drowsiness of your medicine. You looked at your phone to check the time and also saw a new message that you’ve been waiting for. 

From bus stop guy: Sure. But are you sure you want to drink after you’ve recovered? 

Sent: Or what else would you suggest? 

After you’ve sent the text, you decided to get up to have something to eat and to take your medicine again before going back to sleep. When you returned to your bed, there was a message already on your phone. 

From bus stop guy: Hmm let’s do dinner instead, we could decide if you want to drink after that or not

Sent: Sounds good... hit me up with your availability and the place. I’m a little to out of it to think now. I just woke up and I’m going right back to sleep. 

From bus stop guy: Sure. I’ll let you know again at a later date. Get well soon. 

Going back to work after you’ve rested for a few days felt like you were back into dealing with the bitter reality. The first person you saw when you pushed through the main door to the office was T and the both of you merely stared at each other for two seconds before he pretended to rush off to wherever he was going with those papers in his hands. You felt like rolling your eyes at what you had to deal with the first thing you came back, but your heart also sank knowing that he did not even have a look of concern in his eyes. 

When it was nearing lunchtime, your phone buzzed and it was a text from T. 

From T: Are you feeling better? 

Sent: Yes, I guess so. If not I wouldn’t be back in office. 

From T: Great. So... are you free tonight? 

From T: It felt like I haven’t seen you in so long... 

He probably meant that he hasn’t fucked you in so long. You were thinking of an appropriate response to sent to him, hoping to avoid the whole topic of sex but a new text came in and your heart immediately jumped. 

From bus stop guy: Hope you are feeling better now. And I hope you didn’t forget about what we spoke about last week.

From bus stop guy: If you are free tomorrow night, let’s have prime ribs if you are up for it. 

Sent: Sure! 

You replied almost immediately, happy that you had something to distract you from the previous message. And you could forget about replying him now that you got someone new to talk to. 

You left work on time that day, and waited for your date outside the mall where the restaurant was. It took him awhile to arrive and you were wondering which guy would actually turn up late on the first date. 

When he appeared, he was in plaid flannel shirt and black jeans, he looked really young, definitely younger than you were, since you were in office wear and he looked like he came from home on a weekday. 

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting, let’s go!” he said a little out of breath. 

You were fairly distracted at the restaurant. You spent a long time looking at the menu but nothing seemed to interest you. You settled with a classic choice of bbq ribs as the easiest way out while your date chose to go with a prime cut with pineapple slices as toppings. He was the first to start a conversation after the waiter walked away with your orders. 

“So how was work today?” 

“Not too bad, just doing the same old stuff. Usually there would be meetings and meetings at my place tend to go on for more than an hour, so on days when there’s no meetings, the day seems to go slower and more relaxed, and today is one of those days,” you have been accustomed to small talks and learnt that it was easier to talk more about work than anything else. 

“Pardon me, but I’m gonna jump into asking the very basic questions because I realised I don’t know much about you. I don’t even think I know your name...” 

You laughed, “oh yes, I don’t think we have introduced ourselves properly. My name is ________” 

“And I’m Changkyun,” he said with a smile that made his dimple show on his left side. 

“So what do you do? Have you even started working?” You were getting really curious about his age. 

“Kind of, I’m doing freelance producing music and writing songs. What about you? What do you work as?” He picked up the glass of water towards the end of his sentence and started sipping after he has finished his question. 

“I’m an administrator in a law firm. So I sort out all the paperwork, and lots of paperwork for the lawyers at my company.” 

“Wow, that sounds like a very serious job,” usually when people hear about your job, you knew their first reaction was to comment that it was a very boring job, whether they say it directly or within a joke, but you were glad that Changkyun masked it quite well and showed no sign of meaning that it was a boring job when he used the word “serious”. 

“It’s a really boring job”, you always admit it first so that you don’t have to hear it from one more person. 

“Hmm... is that why you are looking for a friend with benefit?” 

You almost choked on the ribs that arrived while the both of you were talking. It was a little awkward because you were struggling whether to deny it or to play it cool and you couldn’t decide what was the best thing to do at that moment, so you pretended to be busy with your food. 

“I don’t know. What about you? Do you have one now?” you tried to divert the topic to him instead. 

“I don’t know”, he seemed to be quite smart in terms of giving out the equal amount of information as you, so it will not be a case where you get to know more about him than he knew about you. 

“What do guys in general think about the idea of friends with benefit? Guys love that idea, right?” you started to broaden the topic to make things less personal and awkward, but also not straying away from it. 

“I guess most guys would like the idea, I mean, let’s be honest, guys will not say no to sex.” 

“Plus there’s no commitment, all the better.” 

“Well, there is a certain level of commitment if you think about it. Friends with benefits are based on the premise that was drawn out beforehand, isn’t it? Like both parties will have to talk about what goes in and out of the whole,” he gestured, “deal or something. Like if either party catches feelings, then it’s called off or something.” 

“Catching feelings is always the dealbreaker,” you agreed solemnly. 

“So when was the last time you have properly dated a guy? I mean properly went out and in a relationship, not the hookups and friends with benefits type.” 

“Hey! I don’t only hook-” you caught yourself being extremely defensive all of a sudden and got a grip of yourself for a moment. “I am not that kind of women that you think I am, just because I’ve been asking questions about friends with benefit, doesn’t mean-” you abruptly ended your sentence because what you were going to say did not hold true. “I’m just curious” you lowered your voice to the point where you were just mumbling to yourself. 

He laughed. He laughed in the “he thinks you are cute” kind of laugh. And you turned red in your seat, you were not sure if you were embarrassed or if you were blushing. 

“So you haven’t answered my question - when was the last time you properly dated a guy?” 

You thought about it for awhile. “Now that you’ve asked, it really has been a long time,” you said in a sad tone. 

“One month ago? Or three months ago?” 

“Hey! What do you take me for??” you raised your voice to the defensive volume again and he laughed again. 

“Okok, I was just joking, so when was it?” 

“It might really go back to my school days?” you said as you try to recall those sketchy memories. 

“Wow are you kidding me?” 

“No, I mean, it’s difficult to define because I’ve met guys in between but it’s usually just one date and that’s it.” 

“One date and that’s it?” 

“Yeah and I don’t mean one night stand okay. It’s like this, where we just go out for dinner, talk, and that’s it.” 

“No more follow-ups after that?” 

“Nope, not even texts. I mean there’s one or two but the conversations couldn’t sustain. And the rest, just no. Maybe I bored them off at dinner...” 

“Well, I don’t think you are boring, I mean, at least I am not bored now.” 

“You speak too soon, young man. Let’s see what happens after this.” 

“Yeah, we’ll see” he shrugged and smirked again while reaching for his glass to take drink. 

“So how old are you?” you asked as the both of you walked out of the shopping mall. 

“Guess?” 

“20.” 

“Do I really look that young?” 

“The way you insisted on paying for the meal doesn’t make you seem older than you are, in case you are thinking that it will,” you teased. 

“I’m 23.”

“Wow, that’s really young. Now I am really feeling it - old.” 

“Come on, you are not that much older than me. Are you?” 

You stared at him with puppy eyes and nodded. Changkyun rolled his eyes. 

“So what are you? 25?” 

You pretended to ugly cry. “I’m even older than that.”

“What? Are you serious?” 

You pretended to ugly cry again. “Oh my gosh, you are a baby.”

He rolled his eyes again. You laughed as you sat down with him at the taxi stand. 

“Where do you stay? Let me take you home,” he said as he took out his phone to open the Grab app. 

“I am old enough to go back home on my own, and it’s late, I should be the one sending you home.” 

He rolled his eyes again and you found it amusing to tease him about his age. 

He got a Grab and dropped you off first anyway. Before you got off, he said it was nice meeting you and he had a good night, but you just had to tease him one last time, “thank you for tonight, and the next time I will buy you dinner. Bye boy boy!” 

Going to work the next day felt like a return to reality. Back to the boring and routine lifestyle. The worst part was overhearing your colleagues gathering around to ask T about his wedding plans. You really didn’t need to hear about how both families have met to discuss but nothing concrete was out. What made everything worse was that Changkyun did not text you after you got home, and you didn’t know what to say even if you wanted to text first. 

You began swiping on Tinder again and matched with a few guys. One of them were looking to hookup which you agreed to after hesitating for awhile. But you figured that you had nothing to do and nothing to lose so you might as well have some fun, and started arranging with the guy for the hookup.

Your day ended even worse when you had to avoid taking the same lift as T by pretending to have left something behind, only to see him walk out of the lobby hand in hand with his fiancée. 

You needed the hookup to happen right now but the guy had plans. 

That night, you received a text from Changkyun, but your mood was already at its lowest. 

From Changkyun: the old lady at the shop called me “boy boy” today and it reminded me of you *roll eyes emoji*

From Changkyun: so you should be off work by now? how’s your day? 

Sent: very shitty 

From Changkyun: oh... what happened? 

Sent: shit happened 

From Changkyun: sounds bad. Want to talk about it? 

Sent: it’s a long story but anyway to make matters worse, I am planning a hookup with some guy on Tinder 

From Changkyun: oh wow

Sent: I actually needed it today but too bad he has got plans 

At this point you were so angry and frustrated that you were just speaking spitefully without a care about whether Changkyun would think of you as that kind of person and leave. You just wanted to vent and blamed him for not texting you to help make your day better. If you had thought about this rationally, there was no way for him to reply to your texts too. Your texts were just shutting him off. 

From Changkyun: was it really so bad? 

Sent: how about you try fucking some guy and watch him marry someone else instead

From Changkyun: okay that is bad. And are you still fucking that guy? Wait, is that your friend with benefit? 

Sent: Ya I fucked up. I mean, of course I’m fucked up that’s why he is marrying someone else right? 

From Changkyun: come on, don’t say that about yourself. Actually he is the one who is fucked up if he has a friend with benefit when he is marrying someone already. 

Sent: And you know what’s the most fucked up part? Is that it hurts even though I know

From Changkyun: of course it hurts, it’s not even just about the emotional attachment, it’s the whole idea that he is getting away with this without his fiancée knowing, he is literally deceiving everyone

Sent: Yes and having to watch him deceive everyone every single day is killing me 

From Changkyun: oh you mean he works at the same place as you? 

Sent: yes 

From Changkyun: oh shit. Why do you do this to yourself? You should just quit. 

Sent: I know right. I think I should really find someone to hook up with so that I can stop feeling like shit

From Changkyun: that’s not a long term solution though 

Sent: yeah I need a long term boyfriend but that wouldn’t happen overnight

From Changkyun: Things take time, especially when it comes to building a relationship 

You were in such a lousy mood that you did not want to hear Changkyun’s lectures anymore. So you left the text as it was and went to sleep. 

The next day, he texted you before lunchtime to ask if you slept well and also some animal memes. But you were in no mood to entertain. You were supposed to meet the guy you were hooking up with that night so you were anticipating it with mixed feelings. On one hand you knew that it will not help you feel better, but on the other hand, you wish that it will because you didn’t know what else could help. 

When you met the guy, you were nervous and awkward. You didn’t know how to behave because it was the first time meeting him. Lucky he seemed quite experienced so he first asked if you were okay to go ahead with the arrangement. You nodded and he suggested to go to the convenience store to grab some condoms and lubes before going up to the hotel. He said that alcohol would help to relax and ease the both of you in and asked which alcohol would you like. You went along with whichever that he picked since your mind wasn’t there at all. You did not know if this was the right thing to do. You were not the type of person who will sleep with a stranger that you’ve met for the first time. You slept with T because you had feelings. But because of the way you were treated, you felt like your feelings didn’t matter, and you didn’t matter. At least sex was pleasurable and you could make the other party feel good and feel that you were good. But you were not sure if you wanted to make the guy who was standing right next to you now feel good. You were just not sure if you truly wanted this. You only wanted this because it was a common thing that people do to distract and detach themselves from all sorts of emotional attachments. 

Just as he was about to pay, you stretched out and grabbed his arm to stop him. “I’m sorry”, was all that you could say. You left the store feeling like crap as the guy gave you a “what the hell” look, and you felt like a loser who didn’t know what she wanted. 

You took out your phone and texted Changkyun. 

Sent: I was supposed to do the hookup tonight, but I fucked up. 

Changkyun did not reply so you walked aimlessly on the streets, your mind was everywhere but it was also blank. After forever, Changkyun replied. 

From Changkyun: What happened? 

Sent: I backed out and I’m just wandering around now. Can I call you? 

You were expecting Changkyun to reply but his call came in instead and you were so grateful. When you heard his voice, you couldn’t say anything except to cry. Changkyun did not say anything but let you cry for awhile before he said in a calm and soothing voice, he tried not to sound startled, “It’s okay, it’s okay, where are you now?” 

When he arrived at where you were, he saw you sitting on small step that led up to a fountain. You were so small and vulnerable, like a lost kitten that was waiting for someone to rescue her. He didn’t know what happened but he knew that you were not at your best and you probably needed help so he rushed down after receiving your google location pin. Changkyun did not know what to say to you when he approached you. He could only gently asked, “hey, are you okay?” 

You had your head down but when you heard him, you looked up at him. You shook your head and he saw that you had tears on your face and he didn’t know what to say. His heart softened and he inched closer to embrace you, and he slowly pulled you into his chest, stroking your head and letting you cry in his arms. This was such a confusing moment for him. He didn’t know what’s going on and he didn’t even know you that well. You were curt and emotional in your texts just yesterday and today you called him up to cry. A brief thought that you were dramatic and had a complicated life flashed through his mind, but he was more concerned about the present moment when he held you in his arms. He just wanted you to feel better, and he wanted to help you feel better, especially when he felt that you moved closer into his embrace and held him back tighter. 

When he felt that you were crying less, he moved and held your face so that he could look at you. You were so embarrassed that when you saw him staring at you, you looked down to avoid eye contact. He wiped your tears away with his thumbs and the back of his hand, and as he did that, he thought that you were beautiful as you had pretty features. You looked soft and in need of protection at that moment. He couldn’t help it but kissed your forehead. When you did not reject or react in shock and move away, he stroked your cheeks with his thumb while he was still holding your face like as if you were a piece of precious art, and slowly kissed your lips with soft kisses. He was so gentle and his lips were so soft that it’s as if you felt all the comfort that he could not put into words through the kisses. You were afraid that he might stop and pull away and you did not want him to stop, so you kissed him back with a little more force, and you placed your arms around him, hugging him tighter. He entertained your kisses for awhile but pulled away before it turned into a full blown makeout. He knew that it would be easy for things to escalate as you were looking for a physical distraction but he did not want things to turn out like this between the two of you. Instead, he pulled away and asked, “are you feeling better now?” 

When you nodded, he asked if you want to go to somewhere else instead and if you had eaten. He took you to a cafe nearby and ordered the food and drinks for you. You felt like a child who got into trouble in school and he was the parent who was bringing you home after having a word with the school principal. Changkyun had many questions but he knew that it wasn’t the right time to ask, and he was planning to ask after you have eaten something. 

He asked if you wanted to take a walk after that, which you obliged. You haven’t said anything much the whole night and you felt that you owed him some explanation for having to handle you when you were in such a mess. 

“I think I’ve asked this quite a few times, and I get that you might not want to talk about it, so you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’m gonna ask what happened?” 

You started talking from what happened at the convenient store and how you backed out from the hookup. You told him that what truly bothered you was how you felt like a loser because you had wanted to use this as a distraction from the real issue - which is your hookup with T. 

You told him the story about T and how you had been fucking him even though he has a girlfriend, now Fiancee. And how you knew you shouldn’t be bothered but you can’t help but feel upset and hurt all the time when you hear about their news. 

“It’s time to move,” he said. “The whole issue is hurting you too much, and nothing is gonna change. He is not gonna stop marrying her and he can’t just have both worlds where he gets to keep fucking you at the same time. That’s just unfair to you.” 

“I know, but I don’t know why somehow I just end up going back all the time. It’s just not so easy...” 

“Let me help you with that”, Changkyun said as he looked straight into your eyes. 

You stared at Changkyun for awhile and went straight for a kiss. You didn’t know what took over you. Maybe it was because of his voice that was so low and smooth, or maybe it was the way his eyes looked, he was especially attractive and in that moment, you wanted him. 

He was taken aback but he allowed you to continue. You were aggressively going for his mouth and deepening the kiss, urging him to open up so that you could put your tongue in his. It did not take long for him to give you what you wanted and the both of you were in a heated make out before he pulled away, gasping for air as he whispered, “wanna go somewhere else?” 

You nodded and quickly got up as the both of you found your way to a hotel nearby, hands all over each other on the way. 

The process of checking in and getting into the room felt like a hassle and when the both of you finally entered the room, you jumped onto Changkyun behind the door and started kissing him. His hands were rough with you, rubbing your back and squeezing your ass. 

You were pulling at his shirt which he quickly took it off in between kissing you. You took the chance to take off your shirt too and Changkyun seemed to be even more aroused seeing you in your white bra. He went down to kiss your neck and collar while kneading your breasts. When his lips reached to the top of your breasts, he unbuckled your bra and threw it somewhere in the room, squeezing your entire boob in his hand before he licked his way down to the nipple and sucking on it. 

You were moaning and started shifting to grind against him as you needed some friction between your legs. Changkyun continued sucking and kissing your breasts as you fondled with his hair and he put his thighs out for you to grind. 

You were disappointed when he suddenly put his leg back, leaving you empty. But he quickly wrapped an arm around your waist so that your hips would be closer to him and started rubbing between your legs. It did not take long for him to dip into your panties and insert a finger into you. “How are you this wet already?” Changkyun almost growled. You gasped at the sudden intrusion and the only sound you could make was a moan. He moved his finger in and out a few times and inserted another finger when he felt that you were ready. You were moaning and breathless, knees weak and almost leaning on him entirely for support. 

When Changkyun felt that it was enough, he tapped on your butt to signal for you to jump on him. You wrapped your legs around his waist and sucked at his neck as he walked the both of you to the bed and threw you down without leaving your body. 

He was on top of you and you could feel his weight and how close he was. “Changkyun... fuck me now,” you practically moaned out, legs spreading wide to accommodate him. He did not say anything but kissed you deeply, sucking at your neck and squeezing your breasts. 

You moved your hips to grind at his hips while tucking at his jeans, trying to unbutton and get him to take them off. He took the hint and removed his jeans revealing his black underwear that made you salivate. When he finally took off his underwear along, you were surprised at his size. He was not big per say but he was thick and you could imagine how good he will stretch you out. 

“I forgot about condoms,” Changkyun suddenly stopped pumping his dick. “It’s okay just put it in and pull out later,” you were desperate and did not care, you just needed him inside of you right now. 

When Changkyun was lining his dick and coating it with your juices, you were bucking up, hoping to somehow get his dick inserted into your vagina. “Someone’s really impatient huh?” Changkyun said with a smirk, still rubbing his dick up and down your pussy without entering. 

“Just fuck me already... please,” you almost begged. Changkyun let out a small chuckle before finally entering you. Even though Changkyun did not enter you into you fully in one thrust, your body could not take it as the stretch was bigger than what you’ve expected. When Changkyun was finally balls deep inside you, it felt extremely full even though he was not as long. He was stretching you out in ways you’ve never knew and when he dragged himself out to re-enter you, your walls were convulsing uncontrollably. 

“Oh my... fucking god,” Changkyun moaned as he felt your walls gripping his hard dick. “You are so warm and tight... so wet...” Changkyun was almost choking his words out again. 

He started moving in and out of you faster as he could not resist and you were overwhelmed by how thick and full his dick felt. Everytime your body felt his dick moving out, it was met with the force of his dick pushing back in and stretching you out further as his dick becomes harder and thicker inside of you. 

“You feel so... good...” Changkyun moved faster and faster, completely lost in the feeling of being inside your pussy. You felt his thrust get sloppier and sloppier and you knew he was coming. 

“Come inside, cum inside of me,” you said before Changkyun could asked. 

“Are you sure? You -” 

“Just cum inside, please,” you needed that last bit to complete. The risk was huge but you just didn’t want his cum anywhere else. 

Changkyun managed to pull out and came right outside of your hole instead. 

“Can’t let you take the risk, can we?” Changkyun said lowly as he kissed your lips. 

[chvrrybaby]

*itzy  vc*  hey  hey  hey   !   (  i  see  that  i’m  icy  )   what’s  up,  i’m  diana,  i’m  nineteen,  and  i’m  ur  resident  girl  group  stan.  i  reside  in  the  est  timezone  &  go  by  the  pronouns  she/her.  now,  finally  introducing  ...  loona    !!   jk,  her  name  is  blair  &  u  can  learn  abt  her  under  the  cut   !   my  discord  is  lana del rey is coming <3#5522   (  stream  her  new  album  august  30th  ),  so  feel  free  to  message  me  there  or  through  tumblr  im’s  if  u  prefer  that   !   otherwise,  i’ll  come  to  u <3

—  kim doyeon. she/her. cis female. | was that blair ryu i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the nineteen year old spends most of their time working as a sugar baby/studying classic literature and women’s studies, but i’ve always just seen them writing in her dream journal. they live in 5A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of loosely curled hair, cherry lip gloss, the lingering scent of vanilla in the air.

(    𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫.   )

born on october 5th, 1999  ( this is literally a day before my bday ooc but anyway ajkdhsjdh )  in rochester, new york, blair’s first impression of the world was a crisp autumn day

she was her parents first and only child. her mother was an elementary school teacher, while her father worked at a nearby power plant in ontario

the family never made too much money, but they were able to get by, at least at first

she had a fairly happy childhood, though it was a lonely one. her father was always working odd hours, and with her mother gone during the day, she spent most of her time with a babysitter and the family golden retriever

eventually, she herself started going to school. she immediately excelled in the english department and fell in love with reading. blair realized early on how much she enjoyed escaping reality with a novel, immersing herself in a story so exciting compared to her dull life

almost everything was fine until her high school years. aside from the fact that she never had a present father figure, she was closer to her mom and still loved by both of her parents. however, when her high school years came around, her father lost his job

her father was the families main provider, and her mothers salary alone would not be enough to take care of the entire family. while he searched for another job, they had to give away the family golden retriever to one of blair’s aunts because they couldn’t afford the extra cost :(

on top of losing her beloved pet, the loss of her father’s job prompting the family to pick up and move their entire life

already in the midst of high school, blair had to leave her life as she knew it behind. the family moved to statesboro, georgia, and her father found a job at the nearby power plant

the transition to life in georgia was not easy for blair. though she didn’t exactly have trouble making friends, she didn’t feel like she could truly connect with anyone

once again, blair turned to losing herself in a book to pass the time

shortly after the move to georgia, her parents experienced some difficulties within their marriage. they ended up separating, and blair spent the remainder of her high school years living with each of them for half of the time

she did not mind her parents separating, as she knew it was for the best. however, her father found a girlfriend fairly quickly, and blair would eventually find out her father had been having an affair

her father spent most of his free time with his new girlfriend and her family. blair was upset at how he prioritized his the new people in his life over her when he was barely ever around for her growing up

meanwhile, her mother was having trouble adjusting to being alone, so she moved back to new york to live with her sister

blair stayed behind in georgia to finish high school, but knew she wanted to go elsewhere for college. she wanted to get as far away from her father and his new life as possible

once blair turned eighteen, she began to sell pictures for money. she wanted to earn as much as possible so she could afford to go away for university. she created an alias and began to sell pictures and videos of her feet. eventually, she expanded her horizons once she realized how much money she could earn

she never went as far as sleeping with her clients, but she would go on dates with them and spend the days with them to earn more money ( kind of like ludovica/chiara in the italian show baby on netflix minus sleeping w them )

she dated a few people throughout her high school years, and began to more “seriously” date a guy during her senior year in high school, though she knew the relationship wouldn’t last. despite appearing as a more serious relationship, to her, it wasn’t really anything of the sort, and she mostly wanted a relationship for senior prom and other trivialities

after senior year ended and she had accepted admission into uni in seattle, she basically cut ties with everyone in georgia aksdjskdjh she said good bye forever ! rip poor unnamed boyfriend he didn’t see it coming ...

her father also did not see it coming because she didn’t even tell him where she applied. but at the same time, did he ask ? no :/

once she left for uni, her relationship with her father became very very estranged. she still speaks to her mom on a pretty regular basis, but even then, she has a whole secret life and doesn’t feel particular close to either of them sjkdfhskdjh

and that’s that for background !

(   𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀.   )

blair is a libra sun leo moon ( rising sign & other placements tbd )

she is definitely a friendly/sociable person. she can be pretty outgoing and loves to be around people. idk her mbti yet but she is def an extrovert ! ( she does tend to keep her feelings to herself tho )

despite her friendly demeanor, she does have a fiery spirit. if u wrong her she will hold a grudge against u until it gets settled/sorted. she can be more on the mean side when she’s upset, but even then she does not have a bad heart at all

when it comes to relationships, blair is all over the place. she can be very flirty/charismatic and is constantly hopping from one relationship to the next. she hasn’t quite been able to settle down, but it is possible. she kind of thinks being in a real relationship means losing her freedom, because that’s kind of what she saw happen with her parents, so she doesn’t really want to be tied down to someone in fear of losing herself in a way. does this make sense ? maybe ? ok !

blair has a fairly strong sense of self, but she’s still very young so she’s still growing and changing. she is the type of person to know what she wants and go after it ( yes, even with ppl ! ). she will stop at nothinggg to get what she wants ( oop ). u could say she loves the chase, but kind of gets bored afterwards unless u have more to offer !

omg she literally loves 2 be the center of attention. i mean, who doesn’t love attention ? but blair takes it 2 another level. she gets all :( if she’s being ignored or isn’t receiving enough attention

kind of bouncing off the whole attention thing, blair loves a good party ! she’s young and here for a good time. she def loves to drink at parties and stuff even tho she isn’t legal here in the us, why should that stop her am i right ? when it comes to drugs, she’s a veryyy casual user and doesn’t do anything crazy. a social weed smoker n will do pills here and there

being a libra sun with a leo moon, i think it’s safe to say she can be a bit dramatic at times ( i mean, as a libra sun with a leo venus i am not one 2 judge xx ). she reads 2 much and watches 2 many movies like ajkdhsjkhd life rly isn’t that serious but she can b a lil overdramatic sometimes whew ! we told u this was melodrama ... lorde stans make some noise !

blair’s fav books are anything by jane austen and les liaisons dangereuses by pierre choderlos de laclos, aka the book cruel intentions was based on ( which happens 2 be one of her fav movies )

shows she loves: gossip girl ( she shares a name w blair so she probably used 2 call herself queen b in high school or something ), desperate housewives ( no wonder this binch is so dramatic ), big little lies, pretty little liars ( the early seasons only ), the netflix show baby, and buffy the vampire slayer

movies she loves: clueless, almost famous, thoroughbreds, moulin rouge, palo alto, marie antoinette, coyote ugly, american beauty, cruel intentions, and valley of the dolls ( to name a few )

her fav colors are pink, red, and white !

u can find her pinterest board here.

she is bisexual babey !!

(   𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.   )

party buddies - this is pretty basic and self explanatory, but someone blair can go out and have fun with. their friendship might be more surface level, or started that way at least, but it’s possible they’re closer friends ( maybe she opened up under the influence and it brought them closer aksdhsdjh drunk blair def would )

ex-fling/gf/bf - blair relationship hops, so she could have quite a few of these. we can plot it however, there can b feelings there, they can hate each other, of they can be just friends now, u name it !

unrequited crush -  ur character could have feelings for blair, but maybe she doesn’t feel them back or is unaware that they like her. this could develop into her eventually having feelings for ur muse or not, whatever we want ! OR blair could def have a crush on someone who does not like her back. maybe that person is super non-committal, or they simply do not like her back. we could plot this out however <3

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension!!! they started out hating each other, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways !

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs. being an only child and not really close to her parents, blair would love a friend that she could basically call family !

dynamic duo - basically like her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other 

take care - someone who kind of looks after her ?? maybe when she parties a lil too hard and drinks a lil too much, someone who kind of takes care of her n makes sure shes ok ! they would be someone she trusts a lottttt

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they hate each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. i love a good enemies plot. they can just b nasty to each other !!! maybe they bring out a really bad side to blair that most ppl dont see. someone who makes her act like blair waldorf ( i’m def kidding abt the blair waldorf part )

bad influence - blair isn’t a goody-two-shoes by any means, but doesn’t really do anything crazy, so i’d luvv for someone to kind of influence her to do shit she normally wouldn’t on her own

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll prob make a plots page later on and add more stuff !

so this is everything !! this has taken me longer than it should have but i’m finally done whew,,, cheers 2 me <3 anyway i would absolutely luv to plot, so feel free to hit me up on discord or tumblr im’s, or i can also come to u ! i’m so excited to get started <333 i’m gonna b logging off now most likely, since it’s 3 am my time, but i’ll be back in the morning

[kimjoongs-main]

50 questions tag

tagged by: @jenuminous (ty bby ily)

tagging: @kimyeongues @linosgf @cheonsajaemin @hyuckiebabyy @bitchendery @moonblssm

1. what takes up too much of your time?

—hmmm probably sleeping, facetiming my friends, writing, reading webtoons, watching stuff on youtube etc

2. what makes your day better?

—that thing parents do when they cut up fruit for you and give you some :( my dad always cuta up watermelon for me whenever i’m stressed out

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today?

—my cousin and i went out and had a girl’s day, we went to the mall, got our nails done, and just had a great time

4. what fictional place would you like to go to ?

—any place that gives you powers basically, so like bnha for example, or this webtoon i started reading called unordinary

5. are you good at giving advice ?

—it depends on the situation but generally i...guess so??

6. do you have a mental illness?

—hah

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis ?

—nope and *knocks on wood* i hope i never have to

8. what musician inspires you the most?

—cl, i just...love her

9. have you ever fallen in love ?

—yes

10. what’s your dream date?

—stargazing hands down

11. what do others notice about you ?

—the first thing people usually point out is my height sjdjdjs :’)) i’m tiny tiny

12. what’s an annoying habit you have?

—i tend to comb my hair back when i’m stressed out or nervous and it makes my hair all tangled

13. do you still talk to your first love ?

—yupyup

14. how many exes do you have?

—none

15. how many songs are in your playlist ?

—i have so many playlists for different moods shdjd, but the number of songs on my phone is around 200

16. what instruments can you play?

—i used to be able to play the violin but i stopped

17. what do you have the most pictures of ?

—my three friends, jaemin heh, and as of right now my godson

18. where would you like to go before you die?

—thailand

19. what’s your zodiac ?

—cap sun, pisces moon/rising

20. do you relate to it?

—i relate to cap sun and pisces moon sometimes, not so much my rising tho

21. what’s happiness to you?

—feeling nothing but joy, having a hard time keeping a smile off my face

22. are you going through anything right now ?

—well.....

23. what’s the worst decision you ever made?

—taking ap chem JSJDJDJS

24. what’s your favorite store?

—ooohooohho there’s this cute store i found in the mall at the philippines, i forgot the name but it was something like papemelroti?? but it had these cute little trinkets and stuff for scrapbooking and omg i fell in love

25. what’s your opinion about abortion ?

—woman’s body -> her choice, that’s all i’m saying abt this

26. do you keep a bucket list ?

—i used to when i was 10, but nah

27. do you have a favorite album?

—any album by journey

28. what do you want for your birthday ?

—ummmm money ig?? or maybe a new backpack bc they always break halfway thru the year

29. what are people’s first impressions of you?

—people usually say i’m rlly quiet when they first meet me, and they’re not wrong

30. what age do you seem according to most people ?

—it depends, someone thought i was in college when i was like 16, and someone else thought i was a hs freshman when i was a senior lol

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

—charging on the desk next to my bed

32. what word do you say the most ?

—what, oh, or just keyboard smashes

33. what’s the oldest age you would date?

—19

34. what’s the youngest you would date ?

—idk if i would???

35. what job/career would most people say suit you?

—a teacher, but as much as i love kids i don’t think i could handle teaching them

36. what’s your favorite music genre ?

—mmm i’ve been really into indie lately

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

—not sure, but probably the philippines since i’m from there and i know the language well enough

38. what is your current favorite song ?

—symmetry by jt roach and emily warren, it’s so calming

39. how long have you had this blog for?

—a little over a year now, but i’ve been on tumblr for around 3-4 years

40. what are you excited for ?

—my fam and i are going to a resort tmr and i looked it up and it’s so pretty:((

41. are you a better talker or listener?

—depends on the person, there’s some people who i talk w more, and there’s some people who i just sit and listen to more

42. what was the last productive thing you did ?

—i did the laundry this morning, sweeped the apartment

43. what do you want for Christmas?

—again probably money or a new backpack

44. what class do you get the best grades in ?

—math and bio

45. on a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

—8.5

46. what can you see yourself doing in ten years ?

—probably being a nurse or traveling

47. when did you get your first heartbreak?

—when my fav teacher revealed to our class abt what she was going thru, it really hurt me to see her so upset

48. what age do you want to get married ?

—in my 30s maybe

49. what career did you want to have as a child?

—i really wanted to be a photographer at one point, but other than that it’s always been a nurse

50. what do you crave right now ?

—sushi, there’s a sushi place a mile from my apartment and im debating whether or not i should go skfkd

[ethereal-darkling]

✨ | Headcanons: Sexualities/Attraction | ✨

Theo: Homosexual/Androsexual; if Theo likes you, he makes it very clear, showering you with compliments, admiring your physique, and consciously touching you to feel closer to you. He initiates relationships on a physical/ sexual level first and will be difficult to establish an emotional attraction with. So if you aren’t into friends w/ benefits or being physically affectionate in public, he may not be the best fit. Theo tends to like aggressive/standoffish guys with tough demeanors and with lots of muscles, with a hint of a softer side to them. For him they’re fun to tease. And he also likes cute guys with kind and friendly personalities, but who also have a side to them that’s negative in some way— whether that is being easily angered, or having a side to them that enjoys inflicting pain on others who’ve wronged them.

Some turn offs for him would be men who swing to far on either end of that spectrum. So that would be men who are too good-natured and seemingly can do no wrong, or mean-spirited, evil men who have little to no redeeming qualities. He likes people that have some moral ambiguity to them, and finds others who are too good or bad to be boring.

Nathaniel: Curious. Nathaniel is Theo’s opposite in the sense that he isn’t as interested in actively searching for intimate relations. He is mostly ignorant to most of mortal customs and practices and may be open to experiencing sexual acts solely out of curiosity about what it would feel like. Though similar to Theo, he has a leaning towards being more attracted to those with more masculine traits; he has a predisposition towards other strong fighters.

Isaac: Homosexual; the wraith immediately has a certain level of dislike towards everyone around him, so establishing a relationship with him is easier said than done. But he does have a weakness in men who are ridiculously attractive and have a level of charisma that’s enough to bypass Isaac’s aggression. Charm will usually get under his defenses and make him flustered.

Asher: Bisexual; Usually the Djinn doesn’t value romantic relationships as much as he values friendship and companionship with others. To be his lover, you have to be his friend first. His interest in men manifests itself in Asher’s rabid obsession with wrestling and secretly loves the close contact with other muscled men coupled with the thrill of battle and being in pain.

Odd: Homosexual; Odd has always been attracted to guys since he was born, but tends to not get to explore dating as much due to the relentless bullying and subsequent hiding he has to go through at school. He didn’t become more sexually active until he had sex with one of his bullies to avoid a confrontation. Ever since then, he has a tendency every now and then to do sexual favors for other guys, usually with certain members of the Wolfpack on the football team.

Cole: Pansexual; the wealthy vampire has had numerous relationships over the course of his lifespan and thus has experience with partners of different sexual and gender identities. So it’s not uncommon for him to have both life-term relationships and numerous short-term sexual partners that he goes back to every now and then.

Alexander: Asexual; Much like Asher, he values friendship and companionship rather than any romantic relationships. But unlike him, Alexander has zero interest in romance or sexual relationships— mainly having to do with his body being entirely made out of straw, and thus not ideal for any kind of sexual intercourse.

Honor: Bisexual; despite his stern and stiff demeanor, the older Warlock always has been a hopeless romantic at heart. But he has taken a vow of celibacy for much of his life and will thus be difficult to seduce or have a relationship with if someone doesn’t have the patience for that. However, due to there being only the 4 of the Warlocks left in their estate, and the other Warlocks openly engaging in relationships with other people in the monster realm, Honor is growing increasingly agitated about it.

Passion: Homosexual; Along with Theo, he’s a very sexually active character, flirting with and talking to other guys on a regular basis. Like his namesake, it’s all about passion, about pursuing after your dreams and desires with tireless determination. Being with Passion is ALWAYS intense; he pushes people in a way that makes them more sexually and emotionally fulfilled than they could ever dream of. But despite the fun he has, there’s always seems to be something missing, like maybe he wouldn’t mind being the one pursued for once. Of being the object of someone else’s affection instead of always being the chaser, of being loved as much as he genuinely loves others.

Freedom: Pansexual; as an easygoing and open minded kind of guy, Freedom has no specific preference about who he chooses to love. He thrives off of experiencing new things and going on personal journeys, especially with someone he can share them with.

Clarity: Homosexual; In Clarity’s eyes, a man is a luxury, not a necessity. And as someone who has a taste for the finer things in life, Clarity treats most men as desserts and nothing more. As of right now, Clarity is in a phase in his life where he is only concerned about having a fun and fulfilling sex life to offset the daily pressures of being the Warlock’s last Supreme. He has sexy, gorgeous men ready and lined up for every day of the week, each with their own way of giving the Supreme pleasure. But don’t worry, Clarity will always consider scheduling new eligible bachelors if you manage to impress him ;)

Eureka: Bisexual; the harpy has high expectations for her partners and will not tolerate anyone wasting her time or not being fully present in the relationship. Eureka will entertain any man or woman as long as they treat her with respect and honesty and adds something positive to her busy life in some way. In addition, she’s known to actively pursue gorgeous women if they catch her eye.

Chloe: Asexual; the idea of performing sex physically repulses her, imagine allowing some lower lifeform defile her body in such a manner...! Absolutely not! And due to her massive ego and delusional behavior, it makes it difficult for her to genuinely fall in love or maintain romantic relationships. She mainly experiences aesthetic attraction to an individual if she finds them to be beautiful, cute, handsome, etc. 

[parkbearum]

Seraphic

“His moves took over the whole room while he explored a new dimension of being in his soul,her eyes on the shining star all along...”

Dancer!Kai  ● 1 ● 2

Kai X Reader

The lighting went off and on again while the souls in the room refused to cease motion.The fan went around and around just like her soul with a glistening shiny heart inside.One turn,two turns,three.......

The sweat glistened against his caramel skin as his thoughts raced faster than he could comprehend.Eyes on her feet,he watched the way she moved quickly on her feet,most would find it impressive due to her age and level of experience looking at how she had extreme control over her body.

But not him.

You looked over to the figure that had been watching you the whole time with expectant eyes,waiting for a single word.He kept focusing on one spot that was not your body to think,all he could think about was the step design you’ve made and how complex your thought pattern was,finding it hard to follow through.

“Too complicated.”he breathed out and stood up.

Your expectant eyes were lost now that he hit you with another harsh critique.It was not the first time today that he had told you this,on the afternoon as well as the morning you got to see him.

After seeing you work in the class he invited you,he was able to get around your skills.He thought you were a complex puzzle to solve with much of a mature attitude from your classmates due to your level of experience in different areas of dance but unfortunately,that meant that you were an expert in none.

You watched his simplified steps,his leg rising up and he met the floor with his back soon.You nodded,trying to suit that in your style.A beat on your mind,you started to mimic his moves from before,adding a flare into it so that it was still your body that was being taken over by his moves.

“Alright.”he said with a bitter chuckle after he saw what you had done,adding your own moved to the end and adding a swing to his motionless steps.

Or at least that’s what you had thought.

After that class,you had found out that he was one of the best of the best around,probably better than anyone you met including the classic ballet dancers you met in Paris that one time.He was experienced in less areas than you were but his expertise on each one was extreme to begin with.

He had offered to teach you contemporary,a bit more deeper than what you knew.After spending a week with his angry soul,you got to know a little bit more about his character.

He was quite grumpy,because he had some ambitions he was not able to reach,he took the anger on his students.He was quiet sometimes,especially in the mornings because another new choreography would be roaming around his mind and until he let his body follow his mind,he wouldn’t be free at last.

He wore simple outfits that highlighted the right parts for his students to see.Every student,does not matter the gender,had a small crush on him because of how eloquent he seemed.His round glasses and silky hair were just a bonus to his angelic smile and cutesy giggle,but you tried to ignore these as much as possible,you were there to learn and nothing else.

“You’re quite stubborn yet creative.”he giggled once again,taking his jacket and walking away.

It had been 6 hours of practice in total today and it was already midnight when you got out of the studio.Just when you were about to walk away with a small goodbye wave,he took your arm and pulled you after him,making you follow.You stayed quite knowing how he had a nervous day today.

After 10 minutes,you were in front of a chicken place that was open 24/7.Your eyes traveled to his when he walked inside with your hand on his,his intentions being obvious.After sitting down all of a sudden,you refused.Standing in front of the table he was located,you just looked at his eyes for an explanation as you always did.

“Sit!”he said,yanking to your arm for you to sit.

“W-Why are we here?”you said,trying to be quiet to sound less disrespectful as he was older than you.

“To enjoy.”he smiled while eating some appetizers.

You kept looking at his jacket instead of him the whole time.This was not the first time something like this had happened.He had taken you out without your permission before,would sometimes order food for you and only you.Holding your hand while guiding you through some steps even tough it was just footwork.He had kissed your cheek a week before while saying goodbye and expected you to do nothing about it.

You were confused at what he was trying to do,your feelings and mind worked differently when he was around.Even though you told yourself that it was just about dance when he was around,your heart always jumped a little every time you caught a sight of him and his amazing smell.

You ate the food quietly while he talked about somethings about a competition he wanted you to take a part in,even though he knew you would refuse.Although he did not think you were quite a professional yet,he was so extremely impressed by the level of skill you had.

But even so,he was not the type to teach a girl somethings,the main reason was your soul.Every move you made,like had seen in the first class you took,were made by you,reinvented as to who you are and what matched your attitude.You took certain things out in a choreo,turned it around to be yours and yours only and presented it as something completely different which he found fascinating.

Because that’s what he used to do.

When he was a dancer with no injury,he was quite the angel as they called him.His moved and attitude were so close to yours but he lost it even before grasping it due to greediness.He saw a piece of himself in you which was full of thrill and hope for him,that was lost in the sea of life before he had a chance of seeing it.

So when his colleagues asked him about why he chose you to train,out of 400 students,he simply shrugged his shoulders because deep down,the answer scared him.

He was interested in you.

Not only the way you thought which he found complex in an exclusive way but also your soul.You were one of a kind of for him and out of all the people he met until you,he was not sure what he was looking for.Your eyes,your smile and even the way you shook your leg before the dance practices made him feel some type of way but he did not want to go there.Admitting that he found you interesting,accepting his feelings were too much of a burden for his soul.

Because he was scared.

He had been there before,walking behind some girl he met because he thought she was special but after all the care and understanding he tended to give her,all he got was a note telling him that he was not the one.Investing too much in the false person had taught him to be cautious,to take it slow to see the true colors of the person and that’s what he was doing with you.

Doing sudden things and testing your patience was his way of getting to know you as quick as possible because he was afraid that you would show a different colors he was familiar with yet scared to see.He watched you eat silently during the dinner,no one talked:maybe because you were both hungry from all the practice or there was this tension you had found earlier that seemed to be in between you and him.

After he paid for the meal,you watched the sky waiting for him.It was already 2 am and your sleep was nowhere to be seen which seemed to surprising with how sleepy you were in daily life.You watched as the sky did not change,not even one star was at sight as you tried to look closely,better to see one star which would give you hope at that moment.

It took him longer than usual to pay while you waited but what you did not know was that he had paid earlier,he was just watching you.Some would call this observation but he was trying to get to know you to details because unlike other people,he did not let other people interfere with his life so easily,especially go to meals at 2 am after hours spent together that morning.

But somehow,it felt good.It was not forced and there wasn’t a sense of teacher and student,it was more like two people helping each other out.He felt at ease,his heart was calm and settled next to you which was rare,given his deceased social life he refused to think about.

And for the next hour or so,you walked.He talked about a few dance moves and how you could execute them,about how he was busy next week and could not practice and also about the sky that stayed above.You did not say anything and just listened,it felt wrong to interrupt him at that moment as he went on and on about his ballet moves.

“How’s friday?”he asked just before you were about to walk into the apartment.

“It’s good.”you smiled as he mirrored your action on his face.You did not open the door this time and silently,walked towards his figure.

“Thank you for what you’re doing,I heard that you don’t do this often with students.”you smiled,empathy in his eyes as you talked.

“It’s nothing.I just felt like doing it for you.”he said,scratching the back of his head.

“I see.”you said,the night seeming too dark and your mind too fuzzy to think about what to say.“Why?”you took him by surprise as he chuckled.

“I.....I just thought that you were special.”he said,his nervousness all over his face.

“You are.”he nodded.

It was not the typical conversation you would have with him but the time was running out and you needed to know if that tiny feeling you had in your heart would have a return and when he said his last words,a seed of hope was planted in your heart,soon to be watered.

You read the last page of the essay before closing it and putting your head onto the table,it was a tiring day of work and frustration.Seeing the orange color of the buildings due to the setting sky,you looked at the clock on the wall in front of you,still 30 minutes to go.

After your mind being threatened by the paper you just read,you decided to walk around and be a little bit early.Watching the sun set as the weekday rush kicked in before 6 pm,you watched your surroundings.It was a peaceful day for most,not exactly for you.

Making your way into the studio and stretching slowly,you watched your whole body bend in the mirror.It was one of the favorite parts for you as you heard the sounds of steps coming from the hallway.There was still 10 minutes left for the break but there would of course be early students,you thought.

While the hurried steps came closer to the room,you kept on doing the stretched,hoping the person would not initiate a conversation while walking in.After a few seconds,he was there.

Your eyes met in the mirror,his hair was messy and breath unsteady.You could tell he had been rushing here while he walked towards you,holding your hand in a heartbeat while dragging you with him.It was the first time this was happening and you were not quite sure why.

“K-Kai,where are we going?!”you managed to breath out before he headed to the stairs.You watched as his face changed after hearing your voice,a soft murmur and you were at the terrace of the place.

You looked at him as he let go of your hand,releasing your wrist that he had been dragging you with.His face could not be read at that moment as it filled with anger,confusion and adoration all at once as he looked at you,his hands running through his silky hair while the orange sunlight hit his face,making him look like a postcard picture.

He looked at the floor before speaking.“Look....I-I need to tell you something.”he watched your terrified face for him.

The truth was that his heart wouldn’t let go this time.After seeing you that night under the dark sky with lights on your frame,he was not able to let go the thought of you.He had thought about you all night instead of sleeping:your laugh and sweet words filled his dreams and when he woke up in the morning,there was a huge heavy feeling in his chest that made it harder to get through the day.

He was soon aware that he wouldn’t,couldn’t live like this and he had to tell you.anything and everything.

“I have feelings for you.”he shook his head while speaking,like he did not want to say it because he knew how wrong it was,you were his student after all.“I-............I’ve had them for a long time and I did not want to say anything but it’s..a lot.I’m feeling a lot for you.”he was holding his chest now.“And for my own good,I had to tell you.”he laughed,in disbelief this time as he did something he would never do,it was his first time confessing to somebody and he thought,it was not the best feeling in this world.

You nodded,the seed in your heart growing into a tree in a matter of seconds as a smile found your lips,even though you knew it was wrong to be happy about it.You looked at his face,desperation and relief both washed over his soul.

“It’s mutual then.”

[retroreaderr]

A-Z Fluff Alphabet | Ed Nygma

As per requested, fluff alphabet with Ed! ~🕷️💋

oops sorry i just love his smile in this gif a little too much

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

Ed would love someone that was just willing to listen; He always gets ignored or taken advantage of, so he’d be absolutely fascinated with someone that would tend to listen to him or take into account what he wants for once. Of course, he’d also love someone that’s just as much a nerd as he is.

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

I think Ed is a little too young to worry about having kids, but down the line I think it’s definitely something he’d want.

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

am i allowed to use a gif for this? oops Oh boy. This man loves cuddling. Like? Long day at work? Cuddle. Feeling tired? Cuddle. Just relaxing at home for once? Better clear your schedule, because he will hold you hostage cuddling. Honestly, he’s just affection-starved..like…always. He loves the attention he’d get from it, basically.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

Imagine the cheesiest, most romantic cliche date you can. Yeah, that’s it. I’m talking candlelit dinner. I’m talking a bouquet of roses. I’m talking cheesy love songs in the background to make you both laugh.

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

“You are my sanity”/”You are my solution” He feels normal around you. He knows you’d be there to help him and support him through everything, and that’s a sort of safe haven of thought for him. He’s able to think clearly, he isn’t plagued by visions of his other half, and he certainly knows you won’t run if he ever did something..undesirable. It makes him feel sane, like he finally knows who he is, and where he’s supposed to be.

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

Ed is kinda…quick…to fall in love. Or, he’s quick to grow attached. I’d say he probably found out he was really, truly falling in love once he realized how lonely he was without you. Sure, he always felt happier when you were around, he always was quick to seek you out and say good morning every day, but he also realized that he was just so alone when you weren’t around. The feeling of completeness you gave him when he was with you was something really special to him, and something he absolutely needed in his life.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

This man is literally the definition of gentle. At least, most of the time. Of course, he’d never hurt you, but he certainly doesn’t try to hide his darker desires, i mean killing ya nasties and maybe that makes you a little crazy too, but he doesn’t mind.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?

UGH YES, like I said, he loves affection and he loves having your full attention. Hand holding is a sort of way to say “Hey I still acknowledge your existence and I love you.” He will honestly take any opportunity he can to hold hands. Doesn’t matter when or where.

I = Impression first impression/s

He was certainly shy, but he also had this sort of hidden confidence to him, that sort of popped up occasionally wonder where that came from.

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Depends. Definitely not at first. But as you’d grow more comfortable with his true self, I’d feel like maybe he’d be the type to, once in a while he’s still more of a “Please please let me ask you a riddle” kinda guy, no matter how long you’ve been together.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

Let’s be real: Ed is far from experienced in just about every aspect of romance, so he’d definitely be more playful than anything when kissing, even if it’s just an excuse for his lack of skill.

L = Little things what little things do they love/notice?

He loves that you listen to him. Like…actually listen. And are interested in what he talks about. But he also does cute things, like the way he gets super close to the paper when he writes, or how he pushes up his glasses when he’s nervous or about to lay down some sick facts, among other things.

M = Memory their favorite moment together

First kiss, because it was the first time he felt truly happy in a long time.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

A THOUSAND TIMES YES - He loves spoiling you. Like wow, it almost makes you wonder where he gets all the money.

O = Orange what color reminds them of their other half

He associates you with purple.. Because it compliments green nicely.

P = Petnames what petnames do they use?

I don’t feel like he’s really the type to use petnames? Maybe in a sort of sarcastic or joking way, like  “Eddie?” “Yeesss, mybeautifulandever-so-talented love?”

Q = Questions what are the questions they’re always asking?

Uh, I think the obvious answer here is literally any riddle ever.

R = Remember their favorite memory of each other

Like I said, first kiss for him. For you? Probably watching him blush and fail to find the proper words to say after which just led to another kiss to be honest.

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

His method of cheering you up usually involves him giving out endless compliments and probably a trip to get ice-cream. Maybe a movie. Cheering him up is usually just…Cuddles. Lots of cuddles. Kisses too.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

It’s usually Ed rambling about his day: What he did, who annoyed him, how happy he is to be home…

U = Universe use a metaphor, what are they to each other? (e.g he was the universe, ever-changing and mysterious)

He was an enigma, puzzling, yet exciting.

V = Very ___ they’re thoughts about each other (e.g she’s very smart, he’s very stubborn, they’re very annoying etc.)

He’s very…persistent. …And dorky. …And sweet.

W = Why reasons why they love each other

He loves you because you love him. Not just one half of him, but him. All of him. You listen and help when he needs it, you show that you care. You play along with his little games, you treat him like another normal person, someone worth caring about.

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

Head Like a Haunted House - Queens of the Stone Age

Your head’s like a haunted house, A tutti frutti written over the caption, Miss diagnosis a-with-a the mostest, Cue the evil smile, Desperation can led to madness

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

“You are the answer to my riddle.” Cheesy, but true. You keep him sane, make him feel normal. He’s always had trouble finding where he belongs, but it’s not so bad when you’re around to help.

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

Probably something low-maintenece. Like a cat. Maybe a bird that would repeat some of his own riddles to him.

[debvtante]

its me bee w my THIRD character & o boy she is a peach, i luv her to death !! never played mary like this before but i’m basing her off one of my fave ocs so im excited

COURTNEY EATON —— Well, if it isn’t MARY MACDONALD, the GRYFFINDOR superstar. For those of you who don’t know HER, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re POISED and KINDHEARTED, but they can also seem pretty CONTROLLING and FRIVOLOUS. Sometimes people call them the DEBUTANTE. Sure, they’re a MUGGLEBORN, but that doesn’t define them.

basically just watch this music video ( ft dacre montgomery!!!! ) and you’ll see how i picture mary dressing. super cutesy, always a Ho for the aesthetic

or also this gifset

the best way i can describe her in a nutshell is that in a muggle high school au she would be head of the prom planning committee and it would have a 50s theme

the kind of girl you expect to be a bitch but she’s actually a genuine sweetheart

her parents are wealthy muggles, the kind of wealth that gets taken for granted. they aren’t like private plane rich or anything but mary has never wanted for anything in her life. trips every holiday to beautiful, historic destinations. probably lives in one of those fuckn mcmansions things. like this but w/o the american flag in front lol

definitely an only child

used to do pageants as a kid. adults adored her 

they still do tbh!! she’s quite petite and very peppy. the word darling has been used to describe her quite frequently

this upbringing, rich in money and in support, gave her an indefatigable optimism and an inability to take ‘no’ for an answer. she lives in a world where everything can be solved and everything has a place

genuinely believes in the good of humanity

her parents almost didn’t want to send her to hogwarts at first but mary adored the idea and was super excited and well ?? they could never say no to their little girl 

sorted into gryffindor and instantly made several friends bc of her chatty & cheery nature

as u have probably realized she’s super social --- definitely an extrovert, needs everyone she meets to like her whoops

of course that isn’t to say she was friends with everyone --- mary can tend to be a bit overpowering and abrasive because shes just So Used to getting her way, so there were quite a few people who didnt like her cause of that

and then more people who didn’t like her cause of her blood status

but she didn’t let that stop her!! probably cause she was super oblivious and didn’t notice the people who didn’t like her but w/e. joined a shit ton of clubs and chatted with all the profs and basically made her presence known from day 1 

of course, there were some people who didn’t like that a muggleborn gryffindor was claiming hogwarts as her own. in fifth year she was attacked by mulciber --- i’ll leave the details vague bc i’d like to discuss that with a mulciber if we get one 

but basically it really affected her ? but something she picked up from the pageants when she was little is to always keep a smile on, and she’s kept that to this day and there’s only a few people who know how badly the attack actually shook her 

she started getting paranoid that there was someone lurking behind every corner. she already usually surrounded herself with people but she did so even more now, terrified of being alone --- not just because then she was vulnerable but because then she would be alone with her own thoughts

and she started getting self-conscious abt her interests and stuff --- things that were normally seen as frivolous or stupid. usually she’s able to push those doubts down but sometimes she just kinda wonders if she really does belong at hogwarts

but mostly she just carries this unidentifiable sadness and doubt now because there’s this conflict within her because she still believes that everyone is inherently a good person and all that but she’s experienced firsthand the awful things that can happen in this world & she struggles to reconcile those two things

really superstitious. it kinda started as a habit before pageants --- make a wish on an eyelash that the judges will like you, knock on wood before the talent portion --- but now it’s kind of like a safety blanket even though she knows logically it doesn’t do anything. you’ll frequently catch her throwing salt over her shoulder or stepping over cracks in the concrete

loves planning things --- plans surprise parties and study groups and keeps it all down in a little pink leather planner with colour coded notes

she likes everything to be neat and in order. likes to give off the impression that she lives in a “””perfect””” world because she just honestly wants to believe that

lil idealistic stubborn charming organized ambitious materialistic controlling cheerful dynamic conflicted gal 

its late and im too tired to do a whole bunch of connections but i would specifically rly like a boyfriend connection for her where they’ve probably been dating like a year or so or like a solid amount of time but maybe she isn’t super invested in the relationship? maybe they both aren’t? but anyways she kind of just stays bc it’s easier and it’s safe and y e a h even if she doesnt consciously realize it

but anyways in general pls plot with me please

[princepriestandpirate]

Yo do them all for Ilde! (If u want!)

 FINALLY these are finished here’s a bunch of backstory about my favorite shitty girl

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

she kinda idolized the guy tbh. she saw him as an ideal to aspire to, someone who was a hero and lived an exciting life, and ultimately he was more of a symbol than an actual person that she remembered (he disappeared when she was 8). he represented freedom & excitement that she didn’t have in her life, and later on what it meant to be a “hero” (alongside mara). the idea of him influenced her path in life a lot, even if she probably would have fucked off to travel around anyway. 

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

it’s…. complicated. she loves her mom a lot, her mom is her favorite (living) family member, but their relationship is sort of muddied by ilde being the Family Disappointment™ (and fucking off at the age of 16 to be an adventurer) and the kind of weird relationship that her dad has to the family (bc she looks a lot like her father and is a lot like him). so. it’s weird. they’re very distant now.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

She has an older half-sister, who is about 6 years older than her, named Ada. i’d characterize their relationship as… distant? more than anything else? they’re just far apart in age and in personality that they grew apart as they grew older, although when they were younger ilde was a pain in ada’s ass, very loud and always wanting to play. 

at the end of the day though, ilde’s also a little jealous of her sister because she’s everything she couldn’t be– she’s smarter and more responsible and always seems like she’s figured everything out and has found her place in the work. ilde doesn’t regret her life decisions but she know that they made her the black sheep of the family, so sometimes she’s jealous that ada just seems to fit into that life so well.

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

i think her mom erred on the more lenient side, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, or save that try to approach the situation by talking it out rather than going straight to punishment. she probably couldn’t keep it up all the time though, ilde was a troublemaker

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

not really? she had a normal family who took care of her but she wasn’t overprotected by any means

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

a weird mix of the two, and probably not on purpose. her family loved her and cared for her (ada will always say that ilde was mom’s favorite) but ilde, physically and personality-wise, is just a little to reminiscent of her father. this meant her mother treated her with a little more leniency, but her sister and her grandmother saw her father in a much less favorable light (that he abandoned the family or that he was too reckless and a bad example), and through either being compared to him or them obviously not looking highly on his chosen profession (which ilde idolized) she felt somewhat rejected. she just felt like she couldn’t fit their vision of what they wanted her to be, basically.

7. What was the economic status of their family?

they’re middle class, they own a small cobbling business.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

she didn’t like it when she was younger (her family worshipped waukeen but in a very ‘goes to church on sunday’ kind of thing, so ilde just saw religion as just a thing that she was supposed to do and therefore boring and annoying), but she’s grown to respect those who practice religion (hanging out with a paladin for like 3 years will do that to you) although she doesn’t want to have anything to do with it herself. she doesnt want anyone telling her want to do or believe.

9. What about political beliefs?

”fuck the government”

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

street-smart, not very book-smart but that’s a good amount due to a) not liking school as an institution because it’s boring and she’s bad at it so why bother, and b) i think she has a learning disability of some sort, probably dyscalculia or dyslexia which made school difficult for her and thus she figured it wasn’t for her and kind of gave up on it

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

she sees herself as smart when it comes to life skills and street smarts, and sees herself as dumb when it comes to traditionally academic spheres

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

i don’t think she comes across as very educated– she’s very crass and generally doesn’t use a lot of complex vocabulary, and her speech in general tends to be very informal. she probably also has a bit of an accent that reflects where she’s from

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

she hated all of it. too many rules and too much structure, and as a result she got in trouble a lot. she also didn’t have a lot of close friends and ended up getting into fights with other kids

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

i dont think her school had much of that? and if it did i don’t think she’d be interested in much of it.

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

she’s the equivalent of a high school drop out

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

she’s an “adventurer” which really is just a fancy word for doing odd and dangerous jobs for not as much money as she should be making. it’s tough work and it’s never as stable or safe or as glory-filled as she’d imagined. she wouldn’t have it any other way though– nothing else affords her the same amount of freedom. also in other jobs you dont get to hit stuff w/ an axe as much? what’s even the point then

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

yes, everywhere she can, because staying in one place too long is boring and she needs to keep looking for work. she’s still traveling now, really

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

a great mentor, new skills, a cool ass axe, and a sense of like... personal responsibility. she remembers what she learned from mara, both the practical skills and the lessons that she didn’t even know she was learning. she remembers bandits and monsters and getting cheated out of money and the feeling of pride in a finishing blow. she remembers seeing mara die and thinking “was it like this for dad, too?”

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

the adventuring life isn’t everything she thought it’d be. it’s kind of thankless, and kind of lonely, and there’s not as much glory in it as one would expect. this doesn’t mean she wont brag about her life like it’s actually really cool tho

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

discovery of the other continent, but that’s about it

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

she’s, uh, kind of an asshole tbh? or at least she can be very rude and crass and really doesn’t care about manners all that much. as for heroes, she thinks a true hero is someone who is willing to give up everything, including their life, for other people. sort of by extension, she hates cowards and people who hurt the innocent. the worst type of people are a mix of those two.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

she doesn’t have many friends, and most of the friends that she does have are friends of circumstance rather than long-lasting relationships. her closest friendship was with mara, but that was also very much a mentorship and born partially out of the benefits of having a traveling partner (and ilde having a bit of a crush) right now though, she’d consider her squad and some of the pirates and prisoners to be sort of friends.

she doesn’t have any lovers lol, but her type tends to be “cute girls who could probably kick her ass”

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

i think she wants someone who could match her & challenge her, push her to be better but also not make her settle down or give up her freedom. really, she wants a romantic AND traveling partner. as for sex, it’s something she enjoys but she’s kinda shy around girls unless she’s drunk so it’s not something she’s having a lot of lol

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

not many? if she’s in a social group she’s usual a part of one because they’re all on the same job (or, as w/ this campaign, all thrown into the same bad situation). in which case she likes to take charge and drive the group forward, even if she’s not the technical leader, although she often just ends up being the fighty one who’s maybe a leader in battle but not in the rest of the mission (or not in a meaningful way)

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

hitting things w/ an axe

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

the closest thing she has to home is her family’s shop, which i think of as being very cozy and well-maintained. her room is probably kind of sparse but messy when she stays there. 

as for personal taste, i don’t think she’s very aesthetics-oriented in general, and will go for usefulness over looking good, although she’ll make an exception for anything that looks badass or has the color red in it. she’s currently wearing her pirate’s uniform with the sleeves ripped off, along with her armor. she has long red hair that she usually keeps up in some sort of bun, or in a braid or braids in her downtime. she is short and stocky, with pale skin and freckles, large brown eyes and a strong jaw. i rolled for it an apparently she’s pretty hot too, although i don’t think she puts much work into her appearance beyond the basics.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

her relationship to clothing is very pragmatic, but she likes anything that will carry across the notion that she’s cool and badass and not to be messed with. she wears her clothing in whatever way is most comfortable, and goes for comfort and quality over anything else.

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

she is very single rn (altho she thinks lionheart is cute)

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

a very bad mix of pride and recklessness. she’s incredibly prideful and doesn’t want to ever ask for help and it’s gotten her in trouble before. mix that with a propensity to not think very much before she acts (although she’s gotten better about that as she’s gotten older) and it’s a recipe for disaster and also lying to her mom too much

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

kind of; she’s still holding onto her father and mara’s death, but not really in the sense of holding onto a grudge, more in the sense of holding onto those memories because she admires them, and especially with mara wants to follow in her example to honor her memory. so her holding onto the past grounds her with some ideals and morals, especially about sacrifice and what it means to be a hero

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

she has no kids and doesn’t want any

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

very aggressively, put her in a stressful situation and her first reaction is to fight back, either verbally or physically

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

she drinks, mostly to relax in between jobs

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

yeah a general feeling of anger is pretty common, right now mostly directed at someone i can’t talk about because spoilers, but she’s dealing with it. she chopped of a worm’s head so she cooled down a little, even if so and so is still a fucking coward

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

unless they’re particularly spectacular failures she just tries to move on from any mistakes she makes and not linger on them too long. her first instinct usually isn’t to blame herself tho

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

she doesn’t like to suffer, but she thinks that all of the struggles (physical or emotional) that she’s had to go through have made her stronger, so she’s okay with having gone through them. she doesn’t like seeing innocents or friends suffer but if it’s the person/thing she’s fighting it’s fine. she’s not going to draw out anyone’s suffering though.

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

she tends to live in the present and focus on dealing with current problems rather than be off in her own world, although that’s more of a result of her growing up than anything. when she was younger, she was constantly dreaming about being an adventurer.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

a weird mix of suspicious and enthusiastic? like, she’s constantly seeking out new experiences but at the same time she’s been doing this shit long enough to be aware of potential danger and ready to fight it.

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

oh so much. SO much. she generally likes to ridicule people she doesn’t like, especially people who take themselves too seriously or who are very uptight

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

she definitely has a sense of humor but it’s kind of a mean one-- she tends to laugh at other people’s embarrassments and fuck ups

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

she’s gained a bit of this as she’s grown older. she’s not terribly introspective but she’s gained a better sense of her own strengths and weaknesses and is at least able to reflect back on her younger self with something resembling self-criticism

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

she wants freedom, hands down. it’s not a very tangible “want” but it’s the thing that drives most of her decisions-- it’s the reason she rebelled so much as a kid, the reason she left home, the reason she continues to travel and take odd jobs to make ends meet, the reason she want so badly to get off these islands. she’s will to cut ties and even hurt others if necessary.

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

not to the people around her, but she’s been exaggerating how cool/exciting/good her life is to her family for a while because she’s a prideful shit who can’t admit when she’s wrong, and it keeps her from having a closer relationship w/ her family and a stronger support system. (i don’t think she went home right after mara died because of this and just dealt with it by herself because she couldnt bring herself to tell her family ‘oh this life kinda sucks sometimes,’ and she only ever goes home when she’s doing well for herself)

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

she’s a girl of action-- she wanted to be an adventurer so she became one, even not being super prepared for what it would be like at all. she tends to jump in head-first into things

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

she’s grown more pragmatic as she’s grown up, but she’s fundamentally very action-oriented and puts her heart into what she’s doing. she was very irresponsible as a kid but has grown more responsible w/ age.

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

she’s tall for a dwarf (like 4′11″) but short overall, her body type is pretty broad/stocky and muscular. she has pretty decent posture but it’s only because her grandmother was strict about it– she doesn’t care about her posture much but she tends to fall back into good posture. as for her body, she’s very proud of it! the way she sees it, her body is a weapon that she put a lot of work into honing and mastering, and her muscles and her scars are the result of that hard work, so why not be proud of them?

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

she wants to project the image of someone a little older and very in-control and commanding. she wants to be very visible.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

depends on her mood. all of her movements tend to have a lot of weight to them, and her movements are either v energetic or v relaxed

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

uhh kind of on the lower side (somewhat deliberate bc it gives off an air of her being confident and serious or some shit), and she tends to be kinda loud. she talks very casually so she doesn’t care if sometimes her words run together a little. she speaks like she wants to be heard and get her point across. she probably has a light accent that one would probably recognize as being from Drag’t, and vaguely dwarvish (bc that’s probably her actual first language and one she spoke at home a lot)

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

a general expression of “don’t fuck with me”

[fy-girls-generation]

[INTERVIEW TRANSLATION] SNSD in W Korea (August 2017)

source

trans by SonexStella