#she should transition and kick his ass

[nintendont2502]

john as a heir who inherits the narrative freely, doesnt even know that he has the narrative, and barely changes it unless hes being directed to by some outside force (breath as directionless, independent, detatched, free). john as a character whos never existed at the same time as an alternate version of him, a character who never has to face himself and remains largely unchanged by the end of the narrative even as it changes around him

ult dirk as a prince who destroys the narrative and destroys through the narrative, who is determined to reshape it in his own image and 'fix' it, who will make himself the villain if thats what it takes and do whatever he has to in order to help everyone, even if it means hurting them (heart as putting on and taking off masks when needed, inflexible, cold, building a coherent narrative of their own story). dirk as a character who constantly has to face himself via one of his many alternate selves, who can only gain control by uniting those alternate selves into one coherent whole

john is homestuck and ult dirk is homestuck post canon and one of the first things he does when he gains power is kill john (kill homestuck) through the narrative. destroying the (previously free, directionless, detatched) narrative and destroying that narrative through your own (inflexible, cold) narrative. theyre so yaoi

[genderkoolaid]

This wasn’t about accountability. This was people tactically forgetting my entire life, including incidents from my life they had personally witnessed or been involved in, so that they could shame me for transitioning. It was bad for me to be a man; if I was a man, I was a bad man, I was all the worst things men are. I was hulking, I was threatening, I was predatory, I was violent. (I was about five foot seven if I stood up straight and wore shoes.) I suspect she’s capable of some kind of violent crime, one of the right-wing Redditors said; I was a monster, the Grendel in feminism’s mead hall, raging and endangering the cis women, and some hero had to pull out his sword and come take me down. Often, talk of my potential violence led to calls for violence against me: "[A dude] should kick this guy's ass and claim that it would be transphobic to not do so" "About a decade ago, I was publicly raked over the coals by this nasty bitch. I am sexist, sexist, sexist, she announced. If she's a really man now, I'd relish the chance to kick her ass." Ah, the life of the transmasculine feminist: From being beaten up by men to… being beaten up by men, I guess. Plus ça change. 

— Eraserhead: On writer's block and being a gender traitor by Jude Doyle

[writeriguess]

Hi lovely! Can I request kiri seeing you perform a dance routine when you dance with the girls and being smitten

Crimson Eyes on You

The bass thrums beneath your feet, sending vibrations through your legs as you take your place in the center of the dance floor. Your heart hammers in your chest, but not from nerves—from excitement. You thrive in moments like this, when the music takes over and your body moves like it's born to.

The bright overhead lights dim slightly, and the stage is bathed in a mixture of deep purples and electric blues. The other girls around you take their positions, forming a perfect formation. You take a deep breath, rolling your shoulders back, and then—

The beat drops.

Your body snaps into motion. Sharp, controlled movements blend seamlessly with fluid transitions, your hips rolling to the rhythm, your arms extending in perfect coordination with the choreography. Every stomp, every sway, every flick of your fingers has intention behind it. The routine is powerful, precise, and undeniably captivating.

From the sidelines, Kirishima watches—no, gawks.

He's seen you fight. He's seen you train, seen you push yourself to exhaustion and come back stronger every time. But this? This is different. This is you commanding an entire room with nothing but the way you move.

And he's utterly, hopelessly smitten.

His mouth is slightly open, his sharp teeth just barely visible as he stares, crimson eyes locked onto you like he's afraid he’ll miss something. His fingers twitch at his sides, unconsciously mirroring the rhythm of the song. His heart slams against his ribcage, and he's definitely not breathing properly, but hell if he cares.

You step forward, leading the group in a series of perfectly executed turns before dropping low, the movement smooth yet powerful. Kirishima practically chokes. His face is burning. The way your body moves—it’s mesmerizing. He can’t decide if he wants to cheer, pass out, or run onto the stage and spin you around like some romance protagonist in a cheesy movie.

Denki elbows him hard in the ribs.

“Dude,” he snickers, his grin practically splitting his face. “You’re drooling.”

Kirishima snaps his mouth shut, his entire face going scarlet. “Shut up, man!” he hisses, but his eyes do not leave you.

And then you glance his way.

Just for a second. A flicker of eye contact before you smirk—a tiny, knowing smirk like you can feel his gaze on you. You roll your hips in time with the music, flipping your hair over your shoulder as you continue the routine like nothing happened.

Kirishima short circuits.

Denki is cackling next to him. Mina is whispering something wildly inappropriate in Sero’s ear while pointing at him. He doesn’t even care.

He just swallows hard, dragging a hand through his spiky red hair, forcing himself to keep it together as you finish the routine with a sharp final pose. The room erupts into cheers, whistles, and applause.

Kirishima doesn’t even realize he’s clapping too, staring at you with the goofiest, lovesick expression. You turn toward him again, meeting his eyes as you step down from the stage.

He should say something. Compliment you. Anything. But all that comes out is—

“That was… uh—you’re amazing.”

You laugh, breathless, a little flushed from exertion. “You think so?”

“I—yeah! Yeah, totally! That was so—I mean, you always kick ass, but that was, like—whoa!”

You giggle at his flustered enthusiasm, tilting your head. “Whoa, huh?”

He rubs the back of his neck, painfully aware of how hot his face is. “Like, really whoa.”

Mina slides up next to you, grinning like a devil. “Oh, Kirishima’s gone for you,” she teases, nudging you playfully.

Kirishima groans, covering his face with both hands. “Mina, please.”

You just smile, your heart thudding a little harder at how adorably flustered he is. Reaching out, you tug his wrist, pulling his hands away so you can see his red-faced expression.

“Good,” you say softly. “Because I was dancing for you, you know.”

Kirishima.exe has stopped working.

Denki screams. Mina and Sero lose it. Kirishima is dead. Just buried right then and there.

And you? You just wink before turning away, leaving him standing there, red-faced and utterly, hopelessly smitten.

[chaos-chloe]

Stream Moments - Pezzy

Summary: Clip inspired moments that i couldnt make into a full short story :)

TW: cursing, police/pulled over, reckless driving mentioned, sexual innaduo, and cute moments

“And he didn't have to shake any ass.” I said a little disappointed but joking around on stream.

“But, then, what is all this ass for, if I can't shake it?” Pezzy asked in a funny, slightly serious tone as he leaned into his microphone.

I sighed and heard his laughter ring out through my headphones. I face palmed but quickly snapped back “It's for me smacking it, when I come home from one of my shifts.” I quipped with my eyebrows wiggling at him. 

“Oh she’s calling me.” Pezzy commented as he pressed accept on Discord, “Sup Beautiful?”

“Ellos!” I cheerfully greeted him, as I finally got him on a call. “What are you doing?” 

“Uhh Wizarding, and I'm lonely.” I started giggling as he joined me in my giggle fest. “And our music is overlapping soo, i'm just like ‘Imma call this man, dude.” 

“You know that's fair. So, you just wanna chill on the call?” He asked to make sure I was comfortable with it since not a lot of our fans know about us. 

“Yee it's late and I know you're speedrunning Poppy anyways.” I said while looking over at his stream.

“Chat is what we do sometimes when our brains are completely dead at 5am and she doesn't have work the next day.” He started laughing because it is true with our ADHD. 

“Guys I- I mean, we have great news to spread!” Pezzy exaggerated the big news, “Chat, guys no, we- guys..” Pezzy trails off due to him reading chat and us laughing at their responses. 

“Okay. One, I am NOT pregnant. Hell no, not right now, hella bad timing on our ends.” I nervously laugh cause we have definitely not talked about this at all on our own. “Two, no we are not getting Sly a friend, she is enough and she gives me all her cuddles anyways.”

“Anyway, CHAT!” Pezzy screamed into his mic to get back on track. “GamerSups and us have come up with a Pezzy/___ cup. So, that means we get to show you the cup and if you go buy this, make sure you pick up some BBL and use code PEZZY or CLOO to get 10% off your order.”

“But that just doesn't seem right?” I say with a faux confused look on my face, “I thought between February 23 through the 28th, don't they get an additional 11% off their order?” “So technically they get 21% off their order or orders to the big oil princes in chat.” I say with the confidence of a sleazy car salesman. 

“Oh my god that is right so chat, Look at this beautiful cup inspired by ___’s animated character and my soda can. Isn't it just so sexy?” He brings the cup to show the camera so everyone in chat could see the details. 

“Guys I'm going into my fuckboy biker phase, can y'all get it right?” He says into the mic while looking behind him waiting.

“Uhm, excuse me good sir, who said you can enter that phase? Cause i know it wasn't my ass, cause you're mine honey.” I come into his office and the background is filled with sassiness and possessiveness that's for show, as I put my hand on my hip. 

“Baby you know you look so hot right now.” Pezzy says trying to distract me from his stupidness that baited me into coming into his office.

“Hmmm, im watching you sir.” I said with a small attitude as I walked out of his office, I quietly shut his door so Sly and I don't get caught snuggling. 

“-- The little soda can logo I have, so if you want to punch it, cuddle it, or kick it, nothing else. Or Fuck it, now you can–””

“Actually chat you cant fuck my soda can, but fuck your own soda plushie when you get it in 12- 16 weeks.” I said into his mic as I climbed into his lap as he wrapped his arms around my waist so I wouldn't fall out of his lap.

“This is my SodaMan.” I say laughing as I try to wrap my arm backwards around his neck. “Okay, but you should definitely use that for twitch like how smii7y has a little milk bag animation. Just use that as a transition of something.” I say laughing getting out of his lap while giving him a quick smooch on the cheek. 

The screen fades into Pezzy’s normal background with a ridiculous smile on his face, “So guys who’s buying the new plushie?” He started dying out of laughter and turning red as chat was losing their minds at his girlfriend's antics.

“Fun fact, that was to take one after running the script down with her. Also she did that on the spot so its fucking perfect for Twicth just cant use it for youtube, I recorded a different one but with her help. Sadly she was not the star of the show like in this one.” He explains still trying to get his breath back after laughing so hard. 

“Uhhh, there's a lot of cups and mugs all over my kitchen countertop and my coffee table. I wanted to clean it up, and i have been wanting to clean it for a week; but I haven't yet. I'm gonna do it today, though.” Pezzy says depressingly as he motions to the side, “Editor fast forward to the end of the video, ‘I'll do that tomorrow’.” Pezzy jokes as his eyes scan chat in haste to keep up.

___user: Im on my way over with food literally rn, so shush ill clean em

“Babe, no don't clean when you get here. Come chill with us.” Pezzy begs not wanting to seem lazy to chat. “Like no seriously, chat is wanting to talk to momma mod.” He says as his eyes rashly scanned through chat. 

Pezzy reclined all the way back in his chair, looking pitiful as ever. He was looking at his phone tracking __ for his food.

“I’m hungry, I’m so mad.” as he drew out the “Y” as if he was a child. “I am throwing a fit, shut up. I want my food and my girlfriend.” He responded to one of the stupid comments from chat.

“I know it's on the way. I want it now!” Pezzy yelled out in frustration and hangry-ness, still watching his phone. 

“AHHH!” He screamed out in impatience and annoyance with himself. 

Randofan334: you got pulled over the other day?

“Funny story, NOT!” Pezzy screamed into his microphone while manhandling it. “___ and I were out riding yesterday, as per my story. She was riding behind me, til she rolled up beside me at a redlight. Then for some reason she was pretending not to know me and did the bike wave. Once the light changed to green she TOOK FUCKING OFF AND HIT A WHEELIE ON HER R6!” Pezzy howled at chat as he was reliving the story and anger. 

“Then red and blue lights started going off behind me, I was thinking ‘ha she deserves it’. NO! THE FUCKER PULLED ME OVER SINCE SHE PUT SOME TYPE OF PAINT ON HER LICENSE PLATE!!” His shrilling was reaching all throughout the house and Chats’ ears. “Thankfully she paid the ticket since it was technically hers, but that fucker got me.” 

“Also chat, don't spam her for that. We were fucking around, that's what happens with us. We had fun, but fuck that cop.” He spoke to chat.

[rotating-hyperfixations]

Teen Yellowjackets Niche Specific NJ Headcanons:

Watching Yellowjackets has me reflecting on my own teenage hood and I grew up in NJ, so therefore I constantly think way too much about dumb shit they could do that’s specific to growing up in New Jersey and thus this list was born:

Growing up Nat was a CEO catholic (Christmas and Easter only). Her parents don’t really believe, but there’s enough Catholic guilt there from their childhoods that they feel like they should go for the big holidays. They stop going when her dad dies.

Lottie was informally adopted by an elderly Italian couple who owns a deli. In middle school she started going there nightly for dinner when her parents were out of town, and the owners were so confused/disgusted that they always made sure she had a meal free of charge, even though she could pay. Even into high school they give her extra food, she usually pawns it off on Van or Nat, or sometimes Shauna if her mom’s working the night shift at the hospital.

Van worked at a pizza place. She hates it, but they let her take slices home for free and she likes that it feels like one of those jobs a character would work in an 80s coming of age movie.

Jackie’s parents have a beach house in LBI. The soccer team takes it over for one week every summer

Shauna likes to drive down Ocean Ave late at night listening to her mixtape that she made specifically for those drives (this basically a right of passage for teenagers who grew up by the shore, myself included).

There is infighting amongst the team about which is better: Dunkin Donuts or Wawa. They had to put a moratorium on the topic because things were getting too personal.

Van looks up to Kevin Smith and loves Clerks because he was also from a small town in NJ and was able to get his movie made.

Tai is ready and willing to kick anyone’s ass who tries to defend Pineapple on pizza, she thinks it’s a crime against pizza and it should be outlawed. Jackie is a pineapple on pizza enjoyer, this causes problems.

They all live in central Jersey and fight with opposing teams at tournaments and matches about whether or not that section of the state exists.

Nat is a transplant from North Jersey and they all give her shit for her accent that she just can’t shake.

Misty is an NJ transit defender, even though the service barely functions.

Shauna is banned from watching the Giants and Yankees because she has anger issues and spends their entire game yelling at the tv.

Nat and subsequently Van (Nat-Van childhood best friends you are very dear to me) call it Taylor Ham, whereas the rest of the team calls it Pork Roll. Each side has attempted to convert the other, but have yet to be successful.

They were all devastated when Action Park at Vernon Valley closed because it meant they could no longer get shitty cheap beer without being carded.

[ventbloglite]

Two of the worst things I've ever seen said to trans people as 'advice' or 'just setting them up for the real world' are these;

(To trans mascs in general) "By the way when you start to look like a man - women will be afraid of you so be prepared for that."

and

(To a trans women) "Actually you'll never see a beautiful woman in the mirror because societies beauty standards for women are too high meaning you will never feel good about yourself."

Absolutely eat shit if you give advice like this.

I'm not even saying that the statements are necessarily wrong, but they point out great errors in the way we perceive the 'natural order' of things to be - so natural in fact that we pass on these flaws to people transitioning into a 'new' gender. How can we change things if you've already accepted them as gospel truth?

Are there statistics and life stories that show situations in which women are assaulted by men? Sure. And I can see why that would cause any amount of anxiety in situations where you could be overpowered.

But most men are by default, safe. Most women by default do not fear men.

Treating men are inherently dangerous doesn't do shit to tackle how actually their behaviour is weird and wrong and it's not what we expect grown ass adults to act like. None of this 'but I'm a man so-' bs when we're talking about SA.

But also it's just fucking shit to tell a trans masc especially a young one that he's soon going to be seen as a default predator and that the fault basically lies with him and any masculinity he might want to embrace.

Don't pass your fears and assumptions onto him. Don't make him consider staying in the closet because he 'doesn't want to be a threat to women'. His manhood is not a threat to women.

Where do I even start about the other one?

There are women who feel good about themselves, actually. Women who know they are beautiful no matter what other people say. Women who feel pretty, beautiful, sexy, just gosh darn good-looking, handsome even all exist. Many many women feel good about themselves or at least neutral most of the time - and have never felt the need to do weird trends or diets or get surgery to do so!

Not all - Gods know, of course societies pressures on women to look a certain way have all kinds of women twisting themselves into knots and pushing themselves into tight boxes despite how their bones are breaking - but it's not a universal truth that all women feel shit about themselves. (Source: All the women I know personally).

Nor should it be! Again, don't give advice which is literally a You issue. How dare you slash the joy of a budding trans woman just because of your own insecurities? How dare you basically set her up for a life of disappointment because 'that's how it is'?

That is absolutely not how it is! She can and will be able to achieve beauty but not if you're kicking her in the shins and forcing her to accept that 'society doesn't see you as beautiful'. Gooooooods.

Trans men you and your masculinity are not a threat to women do not hide yourself. Trans women you are beautiful and anything you wanna do to be more beautiful is going to work. LIVE.

[spatialwave]

"baby, don't you know? that you're my golden hour."

pairing: pre-war!cooper howard x ftm!actor!reader word count: 2.5k summary: being an up-and-coming actor had you fighting tooth and nail for opportunities. you were young, though, still had much to learn and people to impress. you were surprised when cooper howard took it upon himself to mentor you. the cowboy star supported you through thick & thin — a light in your life that reminded you everything would be alright. warnings/tags: sfw, implied transphobia, angst, grief, mention of death, hurt/comfort, fluff. notes: as a transmasc enby, i get very passionate writing ftm!reader stories. this had been sitting in my brain for awhile, so thank you to anon for sending an ask that kicked my ass into gear and write it!

“what do you mean? they told me last week that i had the goddamn job,” your voice was loud and snappy, jaw clenching as you fell back into the chair with a heavy thud, “i did three goddamn auditions and even did a table read, now they’re saying i’m not the right fit? what the hell is that supposed to mean? i put in the fucking work already.”

you were sitting in your agent’s office full of luxury furniture, expensive paintings and the gaudiest decorations. with a red face, you huffed as he explained to you the situation at hand.

your next movie had dropped you as the supporting actor. it would’ve given you enough screen time for it to be your real breakthrough role and shoot you up into the fame and glory you’d been fighting for.

“well,” your agent sighed, leaning forward against his desk, “there’s been word going around about you.”

defensive, you furrowed your brows in confusion, “what word?”

he’d grown uncomfortable, putting one leg over the other as he rested into his chair and thought about what to say next. he needed to be careful with his words, seeing that you had been ready to knock shit off of his desk if he angered you anymore.

“i think you should read this,” he murmured, filtering through papers on his desk until he grabbed a folded newspaper and pushed it toward you.

your heart sank as you snatched the paper, eyes wide and shaky when you read the front page. it was all about you. your deadname was plastered in large text as the article detailed your past that you had gone lengths to keep out of the public eye.

you changed your name, moved away from home and started your transition quietly. you had done everything to make sure that people perceived you the way you wanted.

but life was never that easy.

your eyes settled on a few words, ‘a trusted source confirmed.’ thoughts ran through your mind, thinking of any person who you’d grown up with, family members, ex-friends—anyone who would be willing to spill career-ruining information for a quick lump of cash. 

“i had no idea—“ your agent spoke, but you cut him off.

“i was hoping to keep it that way until i was in a damn grave” you said, voice calm but cheeks red and breath heavy, “fuck this.”

there was nothing worth sticking around for, who the hell would want to hire you now? there were too many close-minded people in the world, and you could already imagine the headlines of them lumping you right in with the opposition. a trans, american communist.

fucking christ.

the following week you isolated yourself in your apartment, high-end and expensive. you couldn’t even feel comfortable in your own home because the looming possibility of being unable to pay rent was alive and very real. you stayed in your bed, wondering how on earth you thought you’d be able to careen through life without anyone finding out.

you were lucky that your mother supported you every step of the way when you were a young, confused teen. she helped you navigate your feelings and even urged you to talk to a professional. one year later, you’d started testosterone injections.

she passed three years ago, leaving you with nothing but her memories and the devastating reality that you’d be alone from here on out. you always hoped your secret died with her.

you melted away on your bed as the sound of thunder boomed loudly and shook your apartment, rotting into nothingness. sleep was on the horizon, but you’d been interrupted by a buzzing sound vibrating from your intercom. you didn’t move, keeping your eyes shut tight and hoping the sound would stop. 

buzz.

“who is it?” you asked tiredly, pressing your forehead against the buzzer.

“a friend,” a southern voice replied, full of static.

you let go of the button that connected your voice to the intercom at the entrance of your apartment, closing your eyes and wishing that cooper would turn around and leave. His pity was far from what you needed

you were angry at the world, and that included him.

swallowing a lump down your throat, you pressed the door buzzer, feeling it vibrate beneath your finger until you were certain the cooper was inside the apartment and out of the rain.

with a blanket strung over your shoulders, your bare feet padded against the hardwood flooring as you unlocked your door. three locks for safety.

you waited to hear footsteps, your ear pressed against the door while your gazed focused on nothing in particular. a shell of a human was the only way you could describe yourself.

you’d never felt this dark before.

a gentle knock rapped against the wooden door, and you had to force yourself to open it up slowly as the lights from the hallway spilled into your dim apartment. meeting cooper’s gaze left you feeling like the smallest man in the world, even if you were the same height.

“you look like crap, kid,” cooper sighed, getting a good look at you. you hadn’t showered in a couple of days and your stubble had started to grow out. for years, you’d been so meticulous with how you looked, never once letting someone see you less than your best. not even cooper.

“stating the obvious,” you murmured, stepping back to give the older man time to step in. you didn’t bother sticking around for a proper greeting, already heading back to your bed so you could collapse on top of it, burying your face into your pillows.

the sound of cooper’s footsteps made you queasy, curling into a ball and peeking out as he turned on a lamp near the doorway. 

“why didn’t ya’ tell me?” he asked, rolling up the sleeves of his button up to his elbows, having discarded his coat and hat. you rarely ever saw him dressed so casually.

through furrowed brows, you glared at him, “i didn’t have to tell anyone a goddamn thing, you know. it was my secret to keep.”

“i didn’t mean it like that,” he sighed, stepping close until you felt the bed dip down next to you, “you’re not obligated to tell anyone your secrets,” his voice was so soft, it made your stomach twist, “but you’ve been ignoring my calls. why?”

a deep, shaky breath came from you as you looked at the man sitting next to you on the bed, his face lit up by the warm lamp, “i don’t need your help. i’m fine, cooper.”

“you’re a terrible liar,” he murmured, a tiny smile on his lips, “you always have been.”

you hated how well his voice and presence soothed you. for the first time in days you felt a spark of hope in your chest, but you stomped it out before it could burn bright.

“i know,” you whispered, moving to rest upright against the headboard with the blanket tight around you, “i figured you wouldn’t want to be seen with me.”

you didn’t dare look him in the eyes because the last thing you needed was for him to feel sorry for you. it wouldn’t be the first time someone questioned your identity and been turned off by it, many of your old friends had left you in the dust. considering you some kind of freak.

yet, there was cooper howard loyally at your side, his hazel eyes showing nothing but compassion and care for you.

you could remember it clear as day, the first time you filmed a scene with him. it was your first big movie gig after years of ads and small roles on television shows, a character that would be memorable if you played it well. cooper was the lead, a sheriff with a heart of gold, and you were his loveable, naive deputy. 

feeling sick to your stomach was an understatement, you vividly remember looking in a mirror and seeing how sunken in your eyes were. you’d been trembling all morning, repeating your lines under your breath as you sweltered underneath the heat radiating from the floodlights that lit up the desert scene.

cooper approached you with that big smile of his, his teeth perfect. everything about him was perfect.

the two of you had run lines weeks and days before, but as you stared at him then, you felt your mind draw a blank. you weren’t going to make a good impression on anyone, especially him.

“you good, kid?” he asked you, head tilting as the makeup department did quick touch ups before the cameras started rolling.

“yeah. i’m great, never been better.” you forced a smile, which got a snort of laughter out of the esteemed actor.

“you’re a terrible liar,” he laughed, reaching over and giving your shoulder a few strong pats, “don’t worry, alright? remember that you’re here because you deserve it. you’ve got skill.”

the rest of the movie was a breeze.

cooper had stuck by your side since then, taking on a role like a mentor. he gave you acting tips, took you for coffee to meet with a better agent, and made sure you had all the connections you needed for making your career even bigger than his own.

you’re not even sure of the exact day you fell in love with him, but after a year of pining for him in secret, you knew you had to end things before trouble found its way to you.

then, he and barb divorced. so, like the devoted little mentee you were, you stayed by his side. 

you helped him start up his gig work, which took weeks of convincing, and it only paid just enough to get the alimony to his ex-wife. you’d even started purchasing the dinners and coffees that you two love to frequent, knowing that at some point he wouldn’t be able to treat you as much as he used to.

cooper had become your lifeline, and this was the easiest way to repay him.

“why would you think that?”

cooper’s voice snapped you out of your daze, eyes readjusting to focus on the man sitting in front of you. he sat there with his brown eyes big and wide, the golden glow from your lamp creating a halo around his head. 

“well, uh, you wouldn’t be the first to think that,” your voice was barely above a whisper as you dropped your gaze, full of shame. 

he exhaled a heavy breath out of his nose, “i’d never do that to you, you know that,” his voice was a comfort to your broken heart, “look at me, i need you to see me say it,” you listened, eyes flickering up to meet his, “i will never ruin what we have over something that makes you… you,” he whispered, his hand holding yours, “you’re the same kid in my eyes and always will be.”

your bottom lip trembled as he spoke, his words digging deep into your heart and leaving you in a mess of emotions. you’d spent the last three days convincing yourself that life was over as you knew it, that all you worked for was just a heap of wood burning away into a pile of nothing.

cooper was a testament to the fact that things would be okay, even if the world wasn’t fair. after his divorce, you knew that he’d lost out on role after role, and if he managed to keep his pride, so could you.

“shit, coop, you’re so stupidly kind,” you laughed, tears rolling down your cheeks as intense emotions flooded you for the first time in months. you weren’t much of a crier, but these wouldn’t stop, “i don’t think there’s anyone in the world who’s as goddamn nice as you. it’s almost sickening how sweet you are.”

the man grinned, “don’t go rubbin’ that in, you’ll inflate my ego and you do not wanna’ see me like that.”

you let out a god-honest laugh for the first time in days, one that made your stomach flutter and leave your cheeks a little sore. 

the days got easier after that night. cooper visited you every day, bringing you a coffee and lunch, not leaving until he got a smile out of you. the two of you would sit around chatting for hours, he’d tell you all the bullshit stories of the gigs he’d picked up. he shared how barb was going to let him take janey to the gigs, too, and you saw how bright his eyes shined at the thought of getting to be with his babygirl, even for just a few hours in a day.

cooper reminded you that it was the little things that made life manageable.

a week later, he’d convinced you to go with him to see sugarfoot at her stable the day before a birthday gig, his first time that janey would tag along.

“hey, coop?” your voice was quiet as you sat in the passenger seat of his car, eyes watching the trees pass by as you made way for the stable in a secluded area outside the city. the evening was warm and bright, filling the sky with hues of orange, red and pink.

“hm?” the man hummed, tilting his head to you, but not taking his eyes off the road.

“why me?” 

his eyes flickered to you, “what do you mean?”

“why, uh… why’d you choose to mentor me?” you mumbled.

the car slowed down as you approached the turn-off to the stable, cooper looked back to road, “guess i can’t really get away with saying it was just outta’ kindness, huh?”

you chuckled, “i want the real answer.”

as you approached the ranch, cooper rolled the vehicle to a stop and shifted into park. you moved to open up the door, but his words interrupted you.

“you reminded me of myself when i was younger,” he answered honestly, turning his head to look at you, “i figured helpin’ you out would heal my soul, or somethin’ like that.”

“how selfish of you,” you snorted, “and to think i thought you did it out of love.”

you kept laughing to yourself after you spoke, opening up the passenger door and getting out to stretch your long limbs. you turned to look over at cooper, able to see him over the roof of the car, and it was then you noticed the red blush that coated his cheeks. he couldn’t hide it from you, even if he tried.

“c’mon, coop,” you smiled, feeling your heart flutter in your chest as you stepped around the vehicle, motioning for the older man to follow, “you don’t have to admit your love to me yet, just shower me in presents and i’ll know it’s true.”

“you’re a real pain in the ass. you know that, right?” he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. 

neither of you needed to admit it out loud just yet, the look you shared spoke more than words could.

“i do,” you said through a smile, leaning into his touch as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and placed a gentle kiss to your temple.

you leaned back, taking one long, good look at cooper. he was breathtaking under the evening sun, his skin radiant. you’d never seen him so happy.

“thank you for everything,” you said.

the colour of my sky.   you set my world on fire. and i know, i know everything’s gonna’ be alright.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

I Cherish You, Halcyon Days: vi

“You’re gonna die, kid. In the worst way possible.”

tags: afab!reader (she/her), angst, slow burn

pairing: gojou x reader + onesided!getou x reader

summary: You’re 15 years old when you’re told you’re going to die. You’re 17 years old when you realize who your killer will be. And you’re 17 years old when you make peace with the fact you wouldn’t want it any other way.

index | previous chapter | next chapter

"Need a pick me up?"

You open your eyes to see the youngest of your grade holding a cold bottle of green tea. "Oh, thanks," you grab the cool bottle from Suguru's hands gratefully. You had been sitting in the living room area on the couch when you started drifting off. Staying up for hours the past couple nights training with Gojou is a draining experience.

"It's not coffee but it has caffeine in it," he takes a seat next you, nestling against the arm on the opposite end of the couch. "Did you have trouble sleeping? When I got up to get water, it smelled like someone had been cooking. Was that you?"

Guilty as charged, you deny nothing. "Was up late bullshittin' and decided to chef it up in the kitchen," you shrug nonchalantly.

Your little training sessions with Gojou always go on longer than you originally planned. He's surprisingly strict and persistent nor does he really hold back with any comments on what you're doing wrong, but they're all fair assessments. So just as you did the first night this began, you cooked you both a late night dinner before skipping off to bed.

"Did you meet that Naoya guy, by the way?" The way Suguru's face twists into an annoyed grimace is enough of answer. I'm already coming up with comebacks for the next time I see him, I wasn't fully prepared the last time. "Yeah, can't believe Gojou wasn't just being overdramatic for once. Please kick that guy's ass if you get paired up in the individual battles." You wonder how it will go since there's an uneven number of combatants. Will it be 1v1 fights split between four of them or will it be an all out jumping with every Kyoto student fighting Suguru and Gojou all at once? You suppose you'll find out in a couple days. "Our legacy is on the line!"

The curse user chuckles, "I'll be sure to defend it fiercely," he vows poshly, bowing with a hand over his heart. "Should I fail, I'll gladly banish myself from your sight for all time."

Giggles slip from your lips with ease. Serious as Suguru looks, he's quite playful. It was something you appreciated during your first days at Jujutsu Tech when you came in a month later than the other first years.

Utahime was a doting senpai, Shoko was kind but respectful, Gojou was annoying and Suguru was helpful with an air of spiritedness. He didn't come at you with wave after wave of prodding questions about where you came from, why you were in Japan or even jokes about your technique the way Gojou did. Yet he was more forward than Shoko who was more content to let you do the reaching. Your transition into being integrated into the already established friend group in a way was thanks to Suguru. You were more grateful than you'd ever reveal.

"You know, if being a sorcerer doesn't work out for you, you should really consider a career in acting." Suguru only snorts at your comment. "I'm serious! I can see you reciting Shakespeare as we speak!"

Suguru rolls his eyes but it's good-natured, "as if a sorcerer would be satisfied in a normal career."

"You never know," you lean against the arm of the couch you're on with a grin. "Having backups might be a good idea! You just don't wanna admit I'm right that you have a flair for theatrics."

One of Suguru's eyebrows raises inquisitively, "what are your plans? After we graduate, I mean," he clarifies as quickly as he asks. "Even before you came to this school, I'm sure that's something you had to think about. Were you planning to go back to your home country after graduation?"

Your eyes dart to the corner of the room and you press your lips together, shoulders stiffening ever-so-slightly. You hope it isn't noticeable but perceptive as Suguru is, you know he can tell. "That's," you think of your mother and father and your uneasy upbringing. How your relationship improved after you moved out the house. It isn't like there'd be much of a problem now that I know what curses are. And even by the time I got to middle school, I got better at ignoring them. It would be different if you moved back in with them. "Something I'm still figuring out, I guess."

It isn't as if you never thought of your future. You knew inevitably that it was something you'd have to cross. You suppose you were just hoping to leave that problem for the [First] of the future to deal with. "I'm not really opposed to staying a sorcerer," you continue truthfully. "But I'm not really sure how the jujutsu scene works in my country. We probably don't have an organized force of jujutsu sorcerers like Japan, maybe I could start one."

Suguru mulls over his next question thoughtfully as if he is unsure he even wants to ask. "Why did you come to Japan, if you don't mind me asking."

You mull over if that's something you want to answer yourself, "well-"

"What are you two talking about over here?" Saved by a bell cosplaying as a lanky, nearly 190 cm teenager with white hair who wears sunglasses indoors. Gojou yawns as he approaches the couch you and Suguru are sitting on, he reaches a hand out almost expectantly to your green tea. You open the bottle, taking another swig before you hand it over before Gojou takes a large gulp himself. One that is literally more than half of the bottle.

"Most of that is mine, Gojou," you remind him a sharp look but there's no real bark or bite in your words, you're too tired.

Gojou shrugs, lips still resting on the neck and finish of the bottle, "I'll get you another one," he mumbles nearly incoherently, drinking the rest without a care in the world.

He's lucky you're more amenable to his morning shenanigans because he's been helping you the past couple nights. "Whatever, just put it in the fridge after you buy it."

"Looks like I jinxed you after all," Suguru chuckles to your right and you groan because he's probably right.

"I'm fighting your jinx with all my might," you mutter back. Apparently, once indulging Gojou becomes habit, it's hard to stop. Or is it a bit much to say you indulge Gojou if the most you really do is share food and drink? You're too tired to consider the nuances in this particular moment.

"What jinx?" Gojou cocks his head to the side.

"Nothing," you yawn again. "It's the nunya jinx where if Gojou asks too many questions, I stop sharing all my snacks with him." It's satisfying to see how both boy looks at you in confusion when you speak in your native tongue. As much of a disadvantage you were put in when you first came to Japan because of it, it's become a nice little source of privacy among your peers that don't know the language. A pocket of something you can keep to yourself. "Anyway, it's just a little inside joke between the non-sorcerer family hailing kids on the block," you wink at Suguru and he closes his eyes with a small smile.

The still-cold bottom of what was once your green tea is placed against your forehead in retribution.

Maybe you won't cook for Gojou tonight.

ー

[Today, 14:43]

Shoko: The Kyoto Tech kids passed us up heading to the training area. Naoya is with them. Have fun with that www.

Me: ^o^ don't worry I won't~

It's a day before the Sister Exchange event truly begins when you see the Kyoto Tech students again.

There's only one training outdoor training facility at this school and so, if you all happen to use it at the same time, there isn't much that can be done about it.

You can see why Utahime listed Kamo Ririka as a person of interest, she's gorgeous. You pointedly ignore your friend sputtering that is not why Ririka had been mentioned in favor of focusing on her pastel pink hair. "I only mentioned her at all because you wanted to know about the Kamo students at Kyoto Tech!"

She whispers furiously in your ear, you personally think the dust of pink on Utahime's cheeks still lean favorably towards your theory. Me thinks the lady doth protest too much, you puff your cheeks in coyly. That only serves to make Utahime press her fingers against them to release the air stored in them. "Also, the person you mentioned before with the green streak in his hair," you spot the very lad yourself. "That's Kumatetsu, he's a second year like you."

"Thank you, Utahime, I appreciate your knowledge."

"I could have told you that," Gojou shrugs.

Your side eye is directs to the boy as quick as ever, "you said you didn't even talk to these guys much last year, how am I supposed to know what you know?"

Four of your seven peers are absent from this coincidental gathering. Haibara and Nanami are on some sort of spur of the moment mission and will be back later in the evening. Shoko and Suguru went on a quest to get drinks from the vending machine. As for Mei Mei, she didn't care for training for an event she wouldn't be part of.

Gojou sticks his tongue at you and you return the favor. "Naoya, looking horrid as ever, I see," Gojou waves at the first year with so much mock enthusiasm, you might have thought he was being genuine when he sauntered over to the Zenin. "I'm not good at holding back so if you go home now, I promise to be nice the next time I see you."

Utahime scowls, "Gojou, they just got here-"

"Eager for my attention I see," Utahime's attempt to stop feathers from being ruffled is futile as Naoya welcomes the jabs with his own. As far as you're concerned, Gojou can rile the Zenin boy up all he wants. "Had I known that, I would have done my best to say hi the other day if I hadn't been interrupted."

You snort as you thumb out a text to Shoko that the Kyoto students have arrived. That she and Suguru should probably prepare for the training grounds to be in shambles when they return. And that if a fight starts between Gojou and the mustard-haired first year, you won't be stopping it.

Me: Hell I'll jump in and help!

Shoko: Getou says he would you not get into a fight but if you do, punch Naoya for him if he doesn't make it back in time.

"Even Icarus had to learn a lesson about flying too close to the sun. I look forward to the day the Six Eyes is humbled and brought back down to earth with the rest of us," you thumb halts over your keyboard, glancing at where Gojou and Naoya presently stand. It irks you at how easily Naoya says it, clearly accustomed to using it. "Hopefully it'll be me. But honestly, why wait for tomorrow when we can see what happens today, Si-"

"He has a name," you close your silver Nokia flip, slipping it into your pocket. You feel the buzz of a message coming through but you choose to ignore it in favor scratching the dark irritating itch growing in your stomach.

"Excuse me?" Two heads look at you at your interjection. Naoya who looks at you like you're an insect large enough to garner attention, and Gojou who tilts his head at you curiously.

"A name," you repeat yourself, setting a hand on your hip as you glare back into amber eyes. They just barely look at you with anything other than cold indifference. "Gojou has one. I call you Whiney the Poo and Bitch Baby in my head all the time and I still manage to call you Zenin Naoya out loud so stop calling him that."

"And what happens if I keep doing it in, senpai?" Never before have you wanted to punch someone this badly. Never and you live with Gojou Satoru, the menace of Tokyo's Jujutsu Tech.

"You wanna say the shit again and find out?" Matter of fact, you want Naoya to say it. You take a step forward, all too eager to put the arrogant first year in his place. "You know what, go ahead. Make my day. Say the shit again and see what happens to your ass."

"Okay," Utahime's hand grips your shoulder tightly before you can take another step. "I think we should just train on that side of the training grounds," she points feverishly to the opposite side of the track field that is considerably further than where the Kyoto students have settled.

The Kyoto second year from the other day ー Kumatetsu, if you remember correctly ー places his own arm in front of the aggravating first year. Pretty third year Ririka sighs in equal parts, dark green eyes darkening as she watches the scene unfolding in front of her. "Yeah, that would be nice, there's just so much space here to train," he agrees with Utahime with swift ease. "Why just bundle up in one little corner here, right?"

"Nah, he can move if he wants to though," you snap in Naoya's direction, nodding your chin to where Utahime's finger leads. "Take your first year before I embarrass his ass in front of everybody."

"No no, there doesn't need to be any fighting," Kumatetsu replies with a frantic but annoyed smiled. "We don't want any problems, we're all allies here. We don't want to fight." As if sensing the mustard-haired first year was about to open his mouth and deny that claim, Kumatetsu covers it with without even blinking. "Ignore him, he doesn't want to fight."

"Yeah, I wouldn't wanna fight me either," you roll your eyes. When you see that particular comment grinds Naoya's gears more than anything, you decide to give yourself the win. Bitch Baby 0, [First] 1, you nod to yourself as Naoya is unceremoniously dragged to the rest of his Kyoto peers in a tight headlock away from you and infinitely further from your tallest classmate.

You tap Utahime's hand lightly. "It's fine, I'm not gonna run over and drop kick him if you let me go." Utahime doesn't look like she entirely believes you and you can't really blame her in this moment. You don't think you've ever been that mad before, not in front of these particular classmates at least. When was the last time I got like this actually, you struggle to sort your thoughts as you try to calm yourself down. Right, right, that time with Takuya and his hair.

Takuya, your old crush from your first and second years of middle school. A core member of your friend group with Chinatsu and Tooru until he moved away after the end of second year. I wonder how he's doing, we haven't heard from him in forever. He was a kind boy, a real sweetheart, that's why you liked him so much. His eyes were as black as the night but your favorite thing about him was his hair. You became friends because of it, actually. His dark red hair was long and almost always kept in a braid.

Then some asshole tried cutting it. That was the first and only school brawl you got into in your entire life, skirt on and all. Thank you, Auntie Chiharu, for not grounding me for punching that guy first.

To think the next time you'd get so angry would be for Gojou's sake.

What has this world come to?

"We're going this way," Utahime tells you firmly, upperclassman voice front and center.

"Fine," you sigh. This motherfucker pissing me off, you glare in Naoya's direction one more time. I haven't cussed like this since my Sakuragi Middle days. Your eyes catch Gojou's shades before you turn, his expression unreadable. Partially because half of his face is obscured, partially because the bottom half of his face gives no clues as to what he might be thinking.

Ugh, he has me over here defending Gojou of all people. This might be more unforgivable than Naoya's presence being generally unpleasant. Your glare narrows with a click of your tongue but you smooth out your face since Gojou is who you're looking at. It isn't like Gojou is the one you're mad at. The same rules from before applies. No one messes with one of us except for us. And even then, there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. You turn to follow Utahime begrudgingly to where she is briskly walking to. When you feel the unmistakable shape of an arm draping across your shoulders, you groan, "Gojou don't start."

Unfortunately, the menace of your class is already snickering much to your chagrin. "Oh [First], you do care!" Gojou swoons, leaning against you as if he's a damsel. "I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it myself!"

"I did not do that because I like you," you deny uselessly, knowing it won't matter what you say. "We just have a temporary We Hate Gojou Alliance truce going on right now. The We Hate Zenin Naoya Alliance takes precedence over any of your shenanigans during this time period." Utahime doesn't argue against it, so perhaps there really is a truce going on with Gojou.

"You know, the more you say that, the more I'm convinced that you're secretly the president of my fan club," Gojou all but beams. Maybe it's you but he seems slightly more obnoxious than normal and you decide that's likely a good thing in this particular instance. "You can be honest."

You huff but you don't move to immediately shove his heavy ass off of you. He didn't look like he was particularly bothered by Naoya's nasty comments, but you didn't want to assume when you spoke up. Well as long as he's in a good mood, I guess that's all that matters. "Yeah, yeah, you caught me," you decide to indulge the boy only two days older than you. "Number 1 Gojou Satoru fan right here, don't tell Utahime."

index | previous chapter | next chapter

Extra

Here you go, chapter 6 prime for the reading and a day away from the Sister Exchange Event taking place. Y'all are getting this a day early because I have something to do all day this Friday and I'm not sure if I'd be able to get up then at a proper time.

Anyways, Reader is appalled. Naoya's got you out here defending Gojou's honor and shit, you need to rethink your priorities in life. But at least you can confidently say that you'll call Naoya out on his shit whenever the opportunity presents itself time and time again. Turn us up, Whiney the Poo.

See y'all next week.

Likes and Reblogs appreciated.

[petrichorium]

i need you to elaborate on both of those when you have a moment tho pls pls pls

W the first one,,,,, sabo shows up at reader’s island under the guise of being a merchant and actually starts sleeping w reader to lead her father the king on & essentially sabotage efforts for the island to join the world government (ideally long enough for a brewing revolution to succeed and overthrow the monarchy). Reader comes off a bit naïve to him, kinda cold and prickly and closed off to the world and also eventually a bit like. Possessive of him which to his chagrin he finds kinda hot LMFAOOOOO he’s very drawn to her but also ambivalent about her I think, w his expectations tainting his opinion and her generally being difficult for him to read. I haven’t fully hammered out her personality but I essentially want her to be kinda protective of what she feels is her own which Sabo reads as spoiled and selfish until the revolution kicks off in full swing.

Weeks in they’re like. Under siege in the palace (he’s remained there w intention of working behind the scenes against the island govt) and one of her maids is revealed to be a spy, and she shoots her father to save the maid and then has the aforementioned meltdown where Many things r revealed including that the maid was never the spy but reader was, she’s been a rebel sympathizer the whole time, etc. Sabo basically ends up kidnapping her LMFAOOOOO ostensibly bc he wants to protect her (as he tells Dragon and Iva) but also bc he’s like v much infatuated w her now. And then they start a lil slow burn w all their secrets laid bare and she ends up fully joining the RA and it’s sweet 🥺

The second concept is an extension of smthn I’ve kinda mentioned which is I wanna write a reader who walks one of Sanji’s brothers like a dog…… very like. Margaery Tyrell coded if u get me. Another princess who gets strongarmed by Germa into marrying (probs Ichiji to be honest) and then slowly manages to wrap him around her finger despite secretly Despising his ass. And then runs off to join the revolutionary army where she obvi meets Sabo and they kinda start up a lil fling which initially on her end is like. Physical catharsis after having to cater to an absolute freak for so long but transitions to a relationship when they both catch feelings…..

Idk the contrast between a Vinsmoke who’s absolutely godawful even when totally infatuated vs Sabo who’s a total sweetheart and a gentleman……. Also wld be fun to do a run-in after the fact where reader and Sabo show up to support a revolution on some island where Germa has also been hired and Ichiji sees reader the happiest she has ever been bc he should suffer always even if I have to bend canon to hurt him 🫶🏻

[cowboycharmac]

iasip seasons by who i think should have won cunt of the year that season

season 1: mac <3 convincing the gang its their moral duty to serve alcohol to children. what are you like bulimic or something. what if jesus was aborted. season 1 mac my everything. he is like a morally reprehensible girlfriend to me

season 2: also mac. its more evenly tied but honestly i have to give it to him bc season 2 is a great season for mac, cunt-wise. making fun of the twins crack addiction, banging their mom, and then leaving dennis to get stabbed in that alleyway? he earned it. technically dennis starts most of these by betting against mac and making fun of mac for having a meth dealer for a dad but honestly hes more of an asshole then a cunt here i think. mac was serving us cunt on a silver platter and i for one am thankful

season 3: dee. the gang finds a dumpster baby. aluminum monster vs fatty mcgoo. dennis looks like a registered sex offender. her entire relationship with cricket. need i go on

season 4: its between dennis and frank here i cant decide ok... wait yes i can. frank wins. waterboarding your illegitimate daughter and taking away her health insurance. shitting the bed on purpose as a joke. giving your bastard son stigmata with a nailgun. tricking dee and charlie into thinking they ate human and giving them parasites. really good season for frank

season 5: dennis reynolds misogynist swag it was almost frank again but the dennis system really truly is awful i hate him so much <3 also he broke up with mac he made mac SAD!!!! >:( and he was annoying to dee which is also misogynistic because i say so. happy cunting dennis. also ummm he served some insane cunt in that gay ass thong.... im wearing these because i wanna turn you on bro. do you think s5 macden ever explored eachothers bodies.

season 6: maureen ponderosa. she lived she died she served CUNT the end !!!!!!!! shes only in two episodes but she really truly marries this loser bitch kicks him out of his OWN HOUSE and then dumps all her debt on him and hes STILL giving her alimony checks to fund her transition into a cat until she dies over half a decade later. and he deserves every bit of it!!!!!!! i love her sooo much and those kitty sweaters.... ok!!!!!! maureen i want you back i could treat you so right

season 7: dee and dennis tie for this one sorry.... chardee macdennis and highschool reunion and sweet dee gets audited.... what is wrong with them <3

SIGH ok im bored now maybe ill do a part two later anyways you guys discuss with the class i have to go think about maureen some more <3 catgirl of ever

[queen-lich-dumb-bitch]

First Impression Best to Worst Boss Fights in Shadow of the Erdtree

DLC has been out for a minute and I’ve done my initial runthrough and taken as much as I could from it. Suffice to say, I did love it a lot and thought that it has a solid amount of staying power. This list covers the main bosses only (and a few notable side bosses) and as usual, unless you don’t care about SPOILERS, I recommend not reading past this point:

Midra, Lord of Frenzied Flame: Now, already, I feel like people are gonna disagree with me. Hear me out. When I first hit this fight, I was like “they integrated a PVP-centric status condition into a boss fight. How is that fair?”. And then I thought about it for a second. No fight style makes this fight easier. No weapon, no spell, no armor makes this fight easier. It is as you see it. This man’s attacks can cover almost an entire room, snipe you from a thousand miles away, his melee attacks hit like a train, and builds up your Frenzy, which can leave you vulnerable and chunk your health and FP. But, he also is easy to stagger, he doesn’t move very fast, and his attacks are telegraphed a year in advance. It’s perfect. He doesn’t have a ton of health, but he is absolutely savage. He’s what difficulty SHOULD be and the sigh of satisfaction when you beat him is REAL. You can’t really cheese or simplify this boss beyond KILL HIM and it’s so refreshing to find a boss that no matter your choice of loadout, Midra will keep you on your toes in the most horror game-like way. Also lore wise, the vibes in this entire area were unsettling and immaculate and the “Eyes of Sauron/Winter Lantern” enemies actually made me jump in that horror game fun way and I adored it.

Messmer, The Impaler/Base Serpent: Now, this was the fight I forced myself to learn through sheer force of will. I literally slammed my head against this man for a day because I knew that the only thing that was killing me was my own arrogance and IT PAID OFF. By the end when I finally beat him, I adored this fight. This man lets you fucking have it, but at no point did it ever seem unfair or bullshit or, hell, even free. This fight is a perfect mix of cinematic, difficult, and a riot to learn and improve at and I genuinely look forward to this fight each playthrough now.

Rellana, Twin Moon Knight: A scaled-up version of my favorite base game Dark Souls 3 boss and she didn’t disappoint. Incredible fight, solidly learnable, and definitely one of the highlights of my first runthrough.

Bayle the Dread: The quickest love-hate relationship I’ve ever had the pleasure to wade through. In my first ten tries, I could not help but think “this is the worst. What can I do against this man except die?”. But the more I fought him, the more I enjoyed it and the more fair I found it. He is overwhelming, yes, but his tells are obvious and when you recognize the areas his attacks affect, he becomes a lot less oppressive. He also has the greatest phase 2 transition of all time. I mean my love for Placie has grown over the past few months, but I think Bayle edges out for Second place in best Dragon fights in Elden Ring. Fortissax takes first.

Scadutree Avatar: This fucker seems easy at first, and then he starts driving around. I severely underestimated this boss at first due to how much damage he was taking compared to everything else. Then he hits second phase and until then, I’d never been jumpscared by a sunflower before. Still not the hardest boss by any means, but definitely checks you at the door.

Romina, Saint of the Bud: I mean, outside of the obvious, I don’t know why I enjoyed this fight. Her rushdown is legendary and she deals in Scarlet Rot, so you’d think I would hate this fight. But her tactics ended up being fairly straightforward, her Rot wasn’t as oppressive as I thought it would be, and she really is such an aesthetically pleasing fight.

Putrescent Knight: The goofiest looking creature on this list by far, but this dude kicked my ass several times. He definitely came with his fair share of surprises, but he never felt overly obnoxious or overstayed his welcome. Not the most fun fight, but definitely worthy of more praise than scorn.

Allies of Miquella: Debated putting this in here because it’s more of a PVP standoff than a boss fight, but I feel it’s worth a mention. Nothing particularly exciting, but it definitely is much more of a marathon than I was expecting and a very difficult one at that. Come prepared here. These people don’t pull punches.

Ghostflame Dragons: More a mention than anything. Nothing unique, but it did force me to rethink how to fight dragons a la Darkeater Midir which I enjoyed.

Metyr, Mother of Fingers: Well, we had to hit the lower half eventually. Metyr doesn’t have a ton of health which puts her up here, but I generally dislike bosses that remind me of The One Reborn where it feels like no matter where you hit the boss, you’re still being dealt damage just for walking up to it which, I’m sure, incentivizes spellcasters, but frustrating nonetheless.

Promised Consort Radahn: Malenia without all of the charm and enjoyment. Malenia, I still firmly believe takes the cake in terms of hardest (and best) boss in Elden Ring, but Radahn did not skimp on the difficulty round two. That being said, his move set is far less enjoyable to learn than Malenia’s and often, it just felt the impressive amount of health and the absolutely unhinged amount of capable range this man has is unjustifiable. Plus, Malenia invites aggression and allows for so many ways to contest her despite her making you work for it while Radahn just hurts. Pain for the sake of improvement is great. Pain for the sake of pain is a lot less fun.

Ancient Dragon Senessax: I did not think that the thing that would make me hate a fight like Lansseax or Fortissax would be just setting the damn thing in a pool of water, but here we are. The lightning AOE’s in this fight are ruthless and are a lot less avoidable for how much they stagger on a regular day. Definitely not the worst, but not a fun development.

Golden Hippopotamus: This thing definitely killed more innocent players than real hippos do every year in real life. This thing SUCKS to fight. Camera monsters in general are just a pain, but when half of your screen is covered in porcupine quills (yes, YOU HEARD ME), this thing becomes substantially more of a drag. That and this abomination punches above its weight class and I just generally found this fight as entertaining as a mosquito bite.

Commander Gaius: Fuck this man. I’ve never had a dude kill me so consistently or so consecutively in the first 5 seconds of the fight. It’s been a minute since a boss legitimately made me yell at my TV screen and I did not welcome the experience. Also, this man had absolutely no right or privilege to ride my ass this fucking hard unless he bought me dinner first. Will not enjoy revisiting this dude.

Divine Beast Dancing Lion: Brace yourself. This is gonna be a long one. I apologize in advance. *breathe in* *heavy sigh* I’ve never actively thought any boss in any Dark Souls game was purely unwarranted or worthy of true hatred. Despite all of the bosses I dislike fighting across all FromSoft games, I always attempted to find a bright side or something like lore or environment or something to justify its existence and I had succeeded. Until I met this fucking thing. This menace didn’t have the most kills on me (that goes to Malenia and Messmer) or did anything in particular that actively exploited my playstyle (like Maliketh, Mohg, or the Crucible Duo). This cockroach merely existed and it was enough. Its body is a giant blob. Its hitbox is horrific. It punishes aggression. It punishes passivity. This thing has ranged attacks, melee attacks, magical attacks, passive effects, movement patterns, retaliatory tactics, and even him just looking at me hits like a goddamn truck. He is so hard to read and does so much damage and does the most unhinged, wtf follow-ups that I’ve ever seen with the most hairpin trigger aggression I’ve ever experienced in my life. He does frost damage, lightning damage, physical damage, I’m pretty sure there is fire damage in there somewhere, emotional damage, and mood damage. And, to top it all off, THERE’S A FUCKING SECOND ONE OUT IN THE BOONIES THAT IS EVEN FUCKING WORSE. Basilisks have been in the Soulsborne conglomerate for as long as I can remember and I’ve tolerated their existence until FOUR OF THEM WANDER INTO THIS FUCKING FIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF PHASE 2. THIS LION HAS A DEATH BLIGHT PHASE. You know, the one status effect in Elden Ring that INSTANTLY KILLS YOU. And the best part? If you don’t kill him fast enough, HE CAN DO IT AGAIN. It would not surprise me if the same sadist that came up with the Double Gargoyle fight came up with this one. And like I said, he doesn’t have the most health I’ve ever seen, but it doesn’t fucking matter. The only thing that matters is how fast you can remove his health because he WILL kill you if you give him any leeway. I fought this thing twice and I know about as much about how to fight this thing as I did the first time I walked into its arena. I succeeded twice by SHEER DUMB LUCK. I despise this thing and if I could actively avoid it, I would not hesitate.

[syrupspinner]

i just beat the demo for MINDWAVE

i was excited about this before magfest so basically im better than you

i think the part of this game thats really gonna be a home run is the characterization and theming

abbie right? we all know abbie, abbie is lovely. i feel like i could write a fanfiction about her and i havent heard her speak a single word. its the vibe man, its just so charming. its be easy for a warioware-like to just make one transition screen and be done with it, but they went through the effort of giving abbie a bunch of different ways of saying hi to you between levels, how nice of her

ive always been kinda suspicious of warioware on pc. ive played some other games that run with it, specifically with the "use the keyboard or the mouse or both" (not naming names but iykyk) and its always seemed kinda sloppy? i dunno, frantic in a bad way where i feel like i have to adapt to unreasonable fastballs. in mindwave, the timer is forgiving enough to make sure youve got your hands in place before anything happens, while still feeling like theres a risk of failure. its a huge help that it doesnt just say "use the keyboard" it specifies if you should be typing or using wasd

this protagonist kicks ass too. shes so cool, dude, but in a way that seems real. shes got a laid-back air but shes not rude about it, shes just a realistic amount of distant from other people. you know this premise is gold when im just watching and waiting for when we get to see her mindwave minigames. i know we got a few in the tutorial but... what is she thinking and why? whys she so apprehensive about jacking in and whats up with the headaches? im so enticed, dude

basically it did everything a demo needed to. it demonstrated the gameplay in a way that convinced me the full game is going to be expanding on it in a unique and interesting way. ive been teased about the plot just enough to interest me without overexplaining or feeling like its just aimless breadcrumbs.

i should emphasize that even before the demo dropped this shit was at the top of my wishlist on aesthetic alone. i love the deep purple colours i love the unaliased pixely drawing artstyle, i love how they draw people and compose shots, hot damn it all just looks so fucking good

the kickstarter is going to be up for a couple more weeks, so check it out and drop some money their way. they deserve it!

[bonefall]

Do you have any plans for Shaded Moss, since Gray Wing is dying in his place? (The specifics of that in my brain was Gray Wing shoving him out of the way of the carriage)

My own thoughts were something along the lines of him having been second-in-command to Gray Wing, but after xir death, Clear Sky starts undermining them, 'suggesting' to people that hey, maybe he *set that up* like, isn't it convenient? That Gray Wing died? Leaving Shaded Moss in charge? Wow, funny like that, huh? And even if most of the group dismisses it as bullshit, it's still "What kinda moron almost gets run over by a carriage and has to be pushed out of the way? Should we really be following him?" Eventually, Clear Sky takes the people who listen to him and leaves, and Tall Shadow kinda forces him to step down, and Shaded Moss kinda lives on the fringes of the group until after Bumble gets driven out. He kinda serves as a surrogate father to Thunder (because I kinda want to keep adoption a thing) and teaches him how to pass better as a tom (because I love older transmascs helping guide their juniors, I wish I had had someone older who knew a little more helping me with that shit as a kid).

I imagine he dies in the First Battle, either just before the "Tell the stars you won" line, or just after, knocking Clear Sky off of Bright Storm and getting killed for it just before Starclan intervenes.

GREAT IDEA let's take it!

(Note though: Shaded Moss -> Shaded Flower, because they now have a naming system that includes a familial last name. Shaded Flower and Rainswept Flower are father and daughter like canon.)

It'll be good for showing how "connected" tribe culture is, to have Thunder Storm have bonds with a lot of the cats he will eventually come into conflict with. Thunder Storm having a surrogate dad figure in the disgraced leader works nicely. Here's how I'll approach it though, taking your suggestions and making sure it works with what's established;

Gray Wing was the leader, Shaded Flower was second in command. He was a logistics sort of guy.

They had never seen a horse before. The group charged in front of it while crossing, spooking it.

Something I found interesting in Sun Trail is that Clear Sky was commanding them across the road that gets Canon!Shade killed on. I think I want to keep that, having Clear Sky be the one who shouted for them all to charge.

Shaded Flower's response to the large animal rearing up was to hiss and freeze

And of course, Gray Wing runs back to save him, getting kicked and killed.

While burying xem, Shade was catching flak. He panicked and his response was to freeze. Clear Sky never takes responsibility for his own actions, and what kind of guy freezes in front of a deer so huge??

He didn't really "step down" so much as Tall Shadow and Clear Sky just naturally started becoming the new leaders. He was pretty ashamed that he got Gray Wing killed.

Embarrassingly, Rainswept Flower ended up having to be his defender a lot of the time. He didn't want her reputation to suffer as a result of his cowardice, but... ugh here they are.

When Jagged Peak broke his leg, Shaded Flower didn't speak up, doubting his own judgement.

But when Bright Storm comes back with her three-legged newborn, he is IMMEDIATELY on Tall Shadow's side in the split. Though his reputation took a big hit, him being on her side IS still helpful.

He probably teaches Thunder Storm how to cook along with helping his transition, since this is going to be an important skill he displays later when he befriends River's Ripple. Rainswept Flower is like a young 19-year-old at this point, making her own life, and Shaded Flower has a sort of loneliness about him.

He probably looks out for Bright Storm, too, since they both had a pretty traumatic experience with Clear Sky treating them like ass. Brings her food and such, makes small talk, watches her kid when she needs a break.

Shaded Flower is, however, probably not a member of early ThunderClan. Or at the very least, he's kind of conflicted about it.

Rainswept Flower is loyal to Tall Shadow, and will remain ShadowClan for her whole life. He really doesn't want to leave her behind

(She even eventually has kittens with Sun Shadow, but that's not super relevant.)

Though... I may have him be part of Bright Storm's Reinforcements, and note how much he's torn between supporting the boy who's practically an adopted son, and his daughter back in Tall Shadow's Clan. He can love them both equally and be torn up over it.

Whatever happens, he will be dying in the place where Rainswept Flower dies in canon. His death in Clear Sky's jaws, "I'm not greedy, just strong!" enrages Bright Storm, who bumrushes him.

She delivers the Star Line, Clear Sky rejects it, and Thunder Storm rushes in to end his battle with Clear Sky once and for all before StarClan halts it.

[astro-nomaly]

Graveyard Shift AU

I desperately need to talk ab my ninjago ghost au, and I'm making all of you listen to my yap session (seriously i have a Pinterest board and a playlist I've gone insane)

OKAY so first of all this is technically a modern au that takes place in vaguely america bc that's where i live and the culture is most familiar to me but Lloyd is asian (vietnamese mother, japanese father) and technically the continent is still called Ninjago. Anyways Lloyd lives with his mother Misako in Ninjago City (like in the movie). To his knowledge, his father walked out on them when he was 4-5, and his mom had a HUGE fight with his uncle shortly after, which has led to Wu being extremely estranged from him. Lloyd knows next to nothing ab his dad or uncle bc Misako hates talking ab both of them. Lloyd is routinely left home alone for weeks at a time bc Misako is an archeologist who frequently leaves the country to go on digs or whatever archeologists do. She's like borderline neglectful but not a bad person okay. Anyways backstory aside I guess the inciting incident is Lloyd getting relocated by CPS. His mom has been out of the country for 2 months now, way longer than she should be, and hasn't so much as left him on read for like two weeks, which is a problem since he ran out of money for food, so he's been eating like ramen for two weeks straight.

Anyways a neighbor gets concerned and calls CPS on his ass, and they're like "yeah no this is fucked" so after they can't get ahold of Misako, they relocate him with his uncle in Jamanakai Village, which is probably the Worst Possible Place

Anyways Lloyd fuckin HATES Wu just on principle and also abandonment issues. Plus going from a parent who barely knows what ur favorite color is to an estranged uncle up your ass ab grades and leaving the room for an hour a day is a hell of a transition. Anyways their relationship is rocky at best until Lloyd gets shot which I'll get to

Basically Lloyd attends school for a few weeks where he immediately befriends Harumi (his stalker and a cultist) and Akita (a shapeshifting fae who Really Wants Him Dead). For now, Akita isn't a problem, and Harumi isn't... much of a problem

After a while of Lloyd getting into fights (he has a history of getting bullied bc shocker his freaky ghost powers give him demon eyes ((he doesn't know he has these powers yet)) and his grades slipping Wu makes him get a job as like a discipline thing. Instead of working in his uncle's tea shop where'd he probably get more than minimum wage bc nepotism, he spites Wu by choosing to work at a goddamn graveyard (get it? Graveyard Shift?) run by Mystake. At first Wu hates this bc it's a graveyard and also he knows shit ab Lloyd that Lloyd doesn't (COUGH ghost powers COUGH) but he eventually relents (IDIOT)

So Lloyd works at a graveyard for a few weeks, during which he meets a random stray cat he names Jade (the cat is Harumi. I promise I will explain the whole Harumi thing in another post but this is strictly storyline shit rn) and one night while he's walking home from work, he gets followed and shot by some hooded figure. One near death experience later he's waking up in a hospital after like a week with even freakier eyeballs and the ability to see ghosts. Basically, his powers were stunted by a deepstone ring his mother gave him, but a near death experience rendered it basically useless since it brought out too much power for the ring to really do anything about.

So Lloyd basically kicks off a vigilante arc when almost immediately the town starts getting attacked by ghosts determined to cause chaos everywhere Danny-Phantom-style. He denies being a vigilante bc he thinks it's cringey but his other option is calling himself a ghostbuster.

Anyways it's later revealed that someone called The Quiet One is the one summoning and putting ghosts on steroids to like. Make Lloyd use his powers a whole bunch bc she really wants him to go with her back to her cult. At the same time, a shapeshifting girl in a wolf mask starts trying to murder both of them and she absolutely refuses to explain why. So an episodic type structure ensues with villain-of-the-week ghosts popping up for Lloyd to test his powers on while QO stands around in the background trying to either a) convince him to go with her to her cult bc she just has so many answers or b) flat out kidnap him with increasingly ridiculous schemes that never work, either bc of Red the Murderous Wolf with a Very Big Knife, or general Looney-Tunes shenanigans, while Red is still trying to murder them both with equal levels of Looney-Tunes shenanigans. Also, Lloyd gets a boyfriend. This is a Problem. At the same time, Lloyd is trying to figure out Ghost Lore by himself while simultaneously hiding his vigilante/ghostbuster shit from his friends and boyfriend, one (technically two) of which already know ab said ghostbuster bullshit. Also, his mom is still missing.

Eventually everything goes to shit and the horror genre of this really kicks in when Dareth (Lloyd's social worker) reveals that Misako never so much as checked into her hotel room, which is weird since Lloyd had gotten texts from her for like over a month where she told him all kinds of stuff ab work. He comes to the conclusion that she up and abandoned him, and in an attempt to run away from this conclusion, decides to impulsively explore the tomb in the middle of the graveyard, which the ghost gang (uh. the ninja and morro. The ninja are all ghosts in this au) thinks has tons of Ghost Lore inside. It's during this that he finds a scroll about a Realm Crystal and its location/how to use it. Jade, who followed him into the tomb, tries to use Mystake's appearance to manipulate him into handing it over, and it's revealed that she's been stalking him and impersonating like half the people in his life. (I promise I'll explain her deal in another post) anyways the psychological horror kicks in and the whole thing dominoes into Wu getting kidnapped when Harumi gives up on the friendship ruse (not that she isn't actually Lloyd's friend. She loves him and Akita, she's just really fuckin desperate and in the middle of a breakdown), and Lloyd getting portalled away. He calls Akita for help, Akita figures out he's Conduit (uh. that's his code name) and her identity is also revealed when she tries to murder him (she's also having big emotions ab this)

So now Lloyd is attempting to get to the Realm Crystal/save his parents and uncle from a cult while both Harumi and Akita are chasing him and trying to kidnap/murder him. which is what was already happening but now it's three-way angst fests and mental breakdowns. Also Lloyd gets saddled with Dareth, who is strapped and has no other competent qualities aside from his ability to make dumplings. Blah blah blah they eventually have a big three-way fight at like idk a temple, Lloyd is kidnapped, Harumi has a crisis and decides "fuck wait i love these guys and i hate this cult. also i don't want the world to end" and does a 180 and switches sides. Akita is deciding that she isn't okay with killing her friends while she teams up with Dareth to un-kidnap Lloyd. Redemptions and forgiveness underway, Lloyd gets possessed by the Preeminent, body horror ensues, boss fight ensues, bam down. In case you haven't noticed I plot aus like they're fanfics and I've been thinking about this one for a hot fuckin second

Thanks for attending the yap session y'all you can leave now

[rrrawrf-rewrites]

Winn yanked his front door open. He’d talked to his landlady, and she’d given him three days to get this figured out, but Jackie wasn’t answering his calls. Fucking of course she wasn’t, but that didn’t fucking matter, Winn would just hunt her down -

He stormed up the stairs to street level and stopped short a split second before he ran into -

Fucking Rembrandt.

Winn stared at him, his heart rate spiking even while he suddenly couldn’t breathe.

Rembrandt smiled back at him. Like always, he wore a suit, this one a dark red and completely out of place on the city block. There hadn’t exactly been a lot of options for an ex-con fresh out of prison to rent once he’d gotten out of the transitional housing; the neighborhood here was a little shabby and rundown, maybe a step above the worst parts of town.

Except, with Rembrandt standing here in front of him, smirking and holding a folder stuffed with papers, this was now the absolute worst part of the entire continent.

Winn’s gaze darted down towards the papers he held, and he recognized the flier that his landlady had shown him. Something clicked into place, and his gaze darted back up as he snapped, “What the fuck are you doing!”

“Good morning to you, too.”

Winn snatched at the folder, but Rembrandt took a step back. “Are you fucking putting these everywhere?” Winn demanded. “You fucking liar, you’re gonna get me kicked out -”

“Oh, what a shame that would be,” Rembrandt said dryly. He held up one of the fliers. “I’m just a concerned member of the community.”

“The fuck you are,” Winn seethed. His own bloody (literally) mugshot was on the damn flier, right under the bright red words: SEX OFFENDER. “You don’t even fucking live here!”

Rembrandt hmmed, glancing up at the apartment building. “No, I don’t,” he said, then added, “Not yet.”

Not yet?

“But,” Rembrandt continued smoothly, “I still think your neighbors should be aware that their downstairs neighbor is -”

“I’m not a sex offender!” Winn shouted without meaning to, far too loud. Rembrandt, barely able to repress a smile, arched an eyebrow, and then glanced to one side. Winn followed his gaze, and his face reddened as he spotted one of said neighbors, a middle-aged man holding the hand of his ten-year-old daughter. He was holding one of the fliers.

Winn bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood. With an effort, he lowered his voice and hissed, “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“Oh, we’re making death threats, now,” Rembrandt remarked. “I’m sure that will do wonders to convince everyone you’re an upstanding, reformed member of society.”

“Society would be a lot fuckin’ better without you in it,” Winn bit out. He wanted to punch that smug look off of Rembrandt’s face, but there were other people on the street, and he knew immediately how Rembrandt would spin it. “Shove those fliers up your ass, then go tell everyone you’re a fucking liar, you piece of shit.”

Predictably, Rembrandt didn’t move from his spot. He tucked the folder under one arm, and gave the apartment building another long look. “This isn’t a bad place, all things considered,” he said, ignoring Winn’s fuming. “You should count yourself lucky they even let you in. One of my buildings wouldn’t have let you within a thousand feet.”

“Lucky for me it’s not your building,” Winn sneered. “If you don’t get the fuck outta here, I’m gonna tell the landlady you’re trespassing.” Not that he thought she would care.

A slight smile crossed Rembrandt’s face. He tucked one hand into his pocket, rocking back on his heels. “Maybe I’ll buy it, then,” he said thoughtfully. “Sink some money into the neighborhood. It clearly needs it.”

He gave a pointed look around them. “It would take some work, but I’m not above getting my hands dirty.”

Winn snorted. “The fuck you aren’t,” he muttered sourly, hating the smirk on Rembrandt’s smug face. The man continued as if Winn hadn’t interrupted.

“We’d need to repaint the building, and do some renovating,” Rembrandt said, head tilted thoughtfully. He flicked his dark gaze over Winn, and his smirk broadened a touch. “Clean up some of the filth.”

“You son of a bitch.” Winn decided he didn’t care that there were people nearby, several of them shooting him suspicious looks. He lunged forward, but before he could hit Rembrandt, his power picked up on the motion of Rembrandt’s free hand, the little knife slipped out of a pocket, clicked open -

Winn hissed in pain when it sunk into his side, just above his hip. Rembrandt looped his other arm around Winn’s shoulders, still holding the file, and kept Winn close, pressed up against him.

“We both know this isn’t long enough to really hurt,” Rembrandt murmured into Winn’s ear, as Winn grabbed his shirt and his wrist, trying to push him off. He flinched when Rembrandt twisted the little knife. “So it didn’t hurt. Understand me?”

His grip tightened, Winn’s face in his shoulder. Blinking back tears of pain, Winn took a shaky breath, then thought better of it and didn’t say anything at all.

“Good.” Rembrandt kept Winn in some perverse kind of one-armed hug. “Don’t bother moving, Winn. I like knowing where you are, and I can tell you now, there isn’t another soul in Boston who will let you under their roof.”

He dug the knife in a little deeper, and Winn strangled down a yelp of pain. Letting go, Rembrandt left the knife lodged in Winn’s side; Winn immediately put a hand to it, as if his own touch could make it hurt less.

He stumbled back when Rembrandt shoved the folder of fliers against his chest, automatically grabbing it before it could fall. “I’m sure your probation officer can clear it all up for you, Mr. Yale,” Rembrandt said archly, straightening his suit jacket. He tipped his head back, a small smile playing about his lips as he viewed the expression on Winn’s pale, tear-streaked face. “She should be here soon. Someone tipped her off about you having a weapon in your possession.”

His gaze lingered on the knife. Winn clenched his jaw, blinking back tears.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice breaking.

Rembrandt shrugged. “I’m bored,” he said plainly. Tucking his hands into his now-empty pockets, he gave Winn a nod. “I’ll see you around, Yale. Enjoy the fresh air while you still can.”

[grey-gazania]

Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗 — @emyn-arnens

My dear @emyn-arnens, you sent this to me weeks ago, and I saw it and then unfortunately forgot to answer it, because Real Life has been kicking my ass, so I want both to thank you for the ask and to apologize for how long this took me.

My 5 Favorite Fics (Which Are Not Necessarily My 5 Best Fics)

Loyalty (yes I know this is actually a series, not a fic, hush)

In some ways this series is the bane of my existence, and in other ways it's one of my favorite things I've ever started written. I began planning it in 2011, began posting it in 2015, and, uh, still haven't finished it, whoops, because I think I need to drastically restructure the whole thing before I can proceed. But I've had a lot of fun creating my conlang, and Tókhesh/Tavoreth is one of my favorite OCs I've ever come up with for any fandom, not just Tolkien. I also really wanted to give the Easterlings the chance to be well-developed people in a well-developed society, instead of just being a glorified plot device, and I like to think that I've succeeded.

Unconscious Arithmetic

This story is by now quite old, written in 2011, but it was both my first foray into writing Caranthir and my first attempt at writing in 1st person -- a style I've since found works particularly well for Caranthir, or at least for my version of him. It was also my second story featuring Parmacundë, though she had yet to earn that epessë at the time this story is set, and was the beginning of my plan to work her into the broader story of The Silmarillion. I think I conveyed a particularly vivid picture of how I imagine adolescent Caranthir and what kind of person he might risk befriending.

The Flight of Birds

I hold great affections for the Kidnap Family, as you have probably noticed, but damn, those poor twins must have been pretty messed up by the time they were returned to their parents' people. Transitions are hard even when you haven't began kidnapped and raised by the people who tried to murder your mother, and I thought it would be interesting to explore the turmoil the twins must have felt through Elrond's eyes. I feel like Elros often ends up getting treated as the conflicted twin, while Elrond is the one who is wise and serene, but I think Elrond should get the chance to be an angry adolescent full of turmoil, too.

Root and All

This story is a favorite less because of anything I've done with the characters and more because writing it was a trip down memory lane. I spent large swaths of my summers as a child at a camp in the NJ Highlands, where we spent a lot of time hiking in the woods and swamps and learning about the nature that surrounded us. My fondness for those hikes and that part of NJ was really the driving force behind this story. I first encountered and learned about both ghost pipe and water hemlock at summer camp, which are the two plants that anchor this story.

Darkness and Light

Bet you guys were starting to think we'd get through this list without any representatives from my Woman King AU, but fat chance! The Woman King AU is my life's work, and this is my favorite installment of it. It's short, but I think I did a very good job of portraying Ereiniel's grief and pain following Fingon's death. Fingon and the shadows he cast after his death were a massive influence on the woman Ereiniel grew into, the Gil-galad she became. In some ways the Woman King AU is just as much about Fingon and his wife as it is about Ereiniel, because their choices, successes, and failures echo down to their daughter and shape the woman she grows into.