#she solved the mortality problem. technically

[gynandromorph]

also because Legend is not canonical i have to like find a reason for her style to have not brought about great change to the world and i decided that she just accidentally makes herself fictional eventually. Fig Two i suppose

[genericpuff]

All That Glitters is Not Feminism - An Analysis of LO's Brand of "Feminism" and What Remains of its Fanbase (A Prologue)

So I referenced a certain article in a recent reblog/ask response and I just need to talk about it because what the actual fuck-

This has to have been written by either a bot or a hater who's reached peak god tier level at playing the long con sarcasm game because NOTHING about this feels sincere or even factual. Much of it almost has to be read in a mocking tone for it to make any real sense.

It says "Lore Olympus" (literally in quotations) in just about every single paragraph over and over again and every single talking point revolves EXCLUSIVELY around Persephone, which I suppose comes as no surprise considering that seems to be all the comic - and its fanbase - cares about at this point.

I really love (/s) how Persephone's "evolution" is being naive and then 'blossoming' into an independent woman who relies entirely on the rich man who groomed her to solve all her problems.

Also all she's done since becoming Queen of the Underworld is abuse lower class people. That's the stuff feminist dreams are made of <3

While we're talking about the main leads, "poster child" is definitely a word for Hades, I think a more appropriate term would be "literal child". And boy howdy, 'god of consent' sure is a title to give the guy who ripped out a lower class satyr's eyeball and beat him half to death.

This man owns slaves, btw. And both he and his "powerful wife" are equally horrible to lower class people, especially women.

This is hands-down the funniest section of the article and we're only three bullet points in.

Thetis and Persephone have never even so much as spoken one word to each other outside of the courtroom that Thetis technically put her in after plotting against her for an entire season.

Eros is a man. Nothing wrong with that but it comes with the unintentional icky hilarity of implying that because Eros is the gay best friend, that means he's a woman.

They literally don't read this fucking comic-

Everyone always relies on this weird talking point of Demeter not being able to "let Persephone go"... y'all, she just didn't want Persephone to outright move to Olympus, she wanted her to commute. That was it! That was literally the only problem! She wasn't preventing Persephone from pursuing a higher education or telling her she wasn't allowed to work, she literally fucking encouraged it! And with the added later context of Persephone killing a bunch of mortals - and, ironically, the fact that Persephone was assaulted/put in harm's way by TWO SEPARATE MEN in the first two days of her time in Olympus - yeah, I don't blame Demeter for not wanting her daughter to move cold turkey actually LOL

Also hilarious that they claim Rachel has turned "tradition" into "innovation" when the only thing she's managed to do is set back modern feminism in her young adult readers by 80 years and re-establish misogynist brainwashing in her adult ones. Rachel, your fanbase was literally shipping a victim of abuse with her abuser just a few days ago.

oh boy this is uh

this is some cult shit ngl

and the "rewriting the script of Greek mythology" part is VERY concerning knowing what we know about Lore Olympus and who it was written by. This is literally cultural appropriation, full stop, and it exists because Lore Olympus - and works like it, made by people like Rachel - exists.

I can't even commit to the original theory that this was written by a bot because it all feels very pointed and intenetional. This is being written by someone who, at the very least, REALLY sucks at media analysis and writing, because the entire article is just "Lore Olympus, buzzword, Lore Olympus, buzzword, buzzword, Lore Olympus", it's like a white knight incantation for guilty virtue signallers who have zero clue what they're talking about. And at worst, yes, it's appropriation from someone who doesn't mind taking a culture's stories and myths and promoting their erasure by people outside of the culture like Rachel.

And that's it, that's literally the article lmao

*EDIT: There was a section here before addressing the writer of the article from a very opinionated POV that, while isn't unusual for what I do here, did feel necessary to remove after I was contacted by the article writer who addressed the flaws in their original article and is now seeking to correct them with revisions/an article rewrite. So I felt it only fair as a compromise to at least remove that section as it really doesn't have a whole lot to do with this post as a whole and can be removed without entirely ruining the flow of this analysis. If/when that article is rewritten, I'll be revisiting this post and my overall analysis !

And honestly, it's all really telling, because this does accurately reflect the state of the LO fanbase.

Not only do many of the people who defend this comic like it's their job not pick up on the blatant misogynist tones that are going on in its narrative (I can't even call them "undertones" anymore, they're no longer that subtle) but whether or not they even read the comic at all is up for debate with how much stuff they tend to get wrong in their own arguments and justifications. And this is something that's VERY regularly seen in the fanbase discussions, readers will constantly be unaware of things that happened because they skimmed through it at lightning speed just to see if Hades and Persephone kiss and so they can get the top comment on Webtoons so they can be "ahead of the fanbase". It's no wonder that Rachel has gotten used to getting away with retconning things because her fanbase didn't even read what she established the first time.

Rachel's fanbase was literally defending the romance ship of an abuser and his victim on the newest FP episode preview. When that FP episode came out two nights ago and Hera said, point blank, that he didn't love her but abused her, I could only think of that portion of the fanbase who was very audibly simping over Kronos in the IG comment section. Are they actually having their moment of shameful clarity now? Or are they just gonna move the goalposts and pretend that didn't happen?

I don't want to say anything bad about Shelby here because she really seems like she's fighting for her life on this site that she's trying to get off the ground, but a lot of her other articles also come across as very one-note while being peppered with buzzwords that make it seem like what she's talking about is "progressive" when it really isn't. Case in point, Lessons in Chemistry has been commonly criticized for not actually appealing to the demographic that its Mary Sue-ish main character is supposed to represent - women in STEM career fields.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Lore Olympus is not 'feminism', it's white feminism that is designed to appeal to predominantly heterocis white women who think the solution to misogyny is to willingly submit to it and accept the status quo - that it's "empowering" if the woman is smiling and having all her needs paid for by a man. Sure, I can accept that different women will be looking for different relationship dynamics, some women genuinely are happy being in a relationship where they support their husbands first and foremost. But can that truly be called feminism? Or is the real feminism the choices we make along the way that we should be given the freedom to make?

It says a lot about the folks who tend to regularly prop up LO on a pedestal like this as some "revolution in feminism" despite the contrary after spending more than just 30 seconds skimming the attention-grabbing art, and Shelby is just one of many. She's not the worst of the bunch, though.

That goes to someone else who I want to give proper light to in their own essay. Someone who definitely earned a good stern talking-to this past week and has, thankfully, had consequences dished out to her for her horrible actions towards queer POC writers.

If you know, you know. If you don't, buckle up.

[desertfangs]

if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

I do keep outtakes but usually only longer ones and I just checked for the most recent fics I've posted and I don't think I have any, which is not typical for me. Either that means I just removed some sentences or reworded things, or somehow lost the outtakes.

BUT I was especially looking for Look Right Through since it's a longer fic and while there aren't any outtakes I can find, I do have a false start. When I started this fic, I wanted to do something plotty that would force Armand, Marius, and Daniel to work together to solve a problem. And my first inclination was to have someone show up and ask Daniel for help. It wasn't working so I ended up going in a different direction, where Daniel finds a body in the house instead, but I don't know, I may eventually write use that premise.

Beneath the cut is the first beginning I wrote for what became Look Right Through, complete with Daniel wearing his shabbiest clothes for funsies:

Daniel jolted at the knock on the door. It wasn’t typical for people to come knocking on Trinity Gate’s front door. It wasn’t unheard of—god knew between Armand and Benji, Amazon packages were a regular occurrence—but at eleven o’clock at night, it was a little strange. It got stranger when he reached out with his sense and realized the unexpected visitor was a vampire.He set down his iPad and walked to foyer. The pounding on the door continued, so hard Daniel was worried they’d break the door. He was tempted to tell them to hold their damn horses but instead, crept up to the peephole and looked out. He frowned. The immortal was a woman who appeared to be in her thirties or so—near Daniel’s mortal age—with her messy brown hair in a bob. She was frenzied, looking behind her as if scared she was being pursued. She turned back and pounded on the door again. Daniel hesitated. Trinity Gate was, technically, the official New York Coven House, but he felt strange inviting an unknown immortal inside. Armand was out at some art fundraiser Daniel had managed to avoid going to, purely because Armand knew those people and they knew him to be with his “husband” Louis, who was in Paris. Daniel felt ill-equipped for this and suddenly wished Marius had made good on his promise to come to New York for the summer. He ran his fingers through his short ashen hair and then, after taking a breath, opened the door. The woman looked surprised to see him. Then again, Daniel was probably not what she expected, and it didn’t help that he was currently wearing sweatpants and a David Bowie t-shirt. “I seek protection from the Court,” she said, voice high and full of fear. “Can you help me?” “Yeah, of course,” Daniel said, moving back and gesturing for her to come inside. He poked out his head and looked down the street and out across the street into Central Park. He didn’t see or sense another immortal or anything threatening, but he wasn’t always convinced of the accuracy of his Mind Gift. He shut the door and then, for good measure, locked it, not that the deadbolt would do much against another immortal. Armand had other security measures for that. “What exactly are you seeking protection from?” Daniel asked. The woman was shaking, he realized, and deathly pale. She had marks on her wrists, dark bruises that were fading, but slowly. She hadn’t fed tonight, he gathered, and from what he could tell, she was fairly new in the blood. She looked Daniel over and frowned slightly. “You’re a vampire, so I assume this is the right place.” “Yeah, it is. Sorry. I should have… I’m Daniel. The official Coven Representative is out right now.” Daniel pulled out his phone. “I’ll text him.” Daniel texted “Court Emergency.” And then a second later, realized that could mean anything and Armand was sure to panic if he thought any of those he loved were in danger. “Stranger showed up here, wants our help.” The woman was looking around the foyer, still hugging herself. “What’s your name?” Daniel asked her. He should have asked that first, but he wanted to know what sort of situation he’d just let through the door. “Hadley,” she said, smiling faintly. It didn’t reach her eyes. Daniel’s phone buzzed. “On my way,” was Armand’s only reply. Good. Relief washed over him. He didn’t want to be handling this alone. “And what’s got you so scared?” Daniel asked her. She swallowed and shook her head. “He’s trying to kill me.” Daniel frowned. “Who?” “My maker.” Daniel winced involuntarily. “Why?” Hadley stared at him and did not answer. He figured the sweatpants weren’t exactly giving him an air of authority, but then, his plans for the evening had been to finish the Sunday Crossword on his iPad and maybe boot up the Playstation until Armand got home, at which point he’d hoped to ditch clothes entirely.

[percyjacksonblog]

I just finished the first Trials of Apollo book and I got to say, I actually enjoyed it.

I read the original 5 PJOs from 2007-9. 6th grade to 7th grade. Then starting in 2010 (?) when The Lost Hero came out I read each of the HoO books as they came out. I think I was a freshman in college (2014?) when the last one came out, so I can honestly say I grew up with these characters and this world.

I don’t remember why I didn’t read any of the Trials of Apollo books before but it was nice to come back to this world. I read PJO 6 when it came out last fall and it sparked my love of reading these stories again, so I read The Hidden Oracle to continue this story to keep up to date in this world.

Spoilers ahead

So as I mentioned before I did like this book.

It’s been literal years since I read any of TLF, but I did get some major TLF vibes from it. The set up for the rest of the series is pretty good.

Haikus for chapter titles A+

Showing that the mythic world is always growing and there is a new generation of Demigods (Clarisse, and Travis going to college, Percy and Annabeth in their senior year)

Cameos from og characters like Connor, Percy, Malcolm, Nico, and Will

Interesting take that once Apollo and Meg arrived at camp they technically never left. I think except for BotL and TLO this book and the most limited outside of camp action. Not a bad thing, just a different experience.

Peaches!

I’m not going to lie I genuinely did not expect that twist! I was legitimately shocked. Looking back I feel like I could have picked up on some of the clues. I mean imperial gold swords…come on. That should have been a dead giveaway.

Apollo really did grow as a character this book. I’m very interested to see how else he grows.

My biggest question is, if Apollo is supposed to be Lester, why don’t the other demigods refer to him as Lester? Like what is the point of an entirely different identity if it’s really not used? Apollo only refers to himself as Lester when he’s complaining about mortality or feeling useless. Maybe it’s more important later but I feel like making an entirely new identity, one that Nero and probably the rest of the Triumvirate can see through, is kind of pointless. One of the themes of this book is acceptance, so maybe when Apollo totally accepts “Lester” that’s the end.

So much of this was too easily accomplished by Apollo or Apollo/Meg. They were met with a problem and it was almost solved too easily. The thugs in the beginning, Meg beat them up. Attacked by plague spirits, Meg summons Peaches, trapped in the cocoon made by ants and almost about to be eaten, flower seeds that your 1/2 sister gave you before your quest. Trying to fight off ants, just sing a song and they’ll be mesmerized. Don’t get me wrong I loved all those scenes, but the only time that any of the characters actually struggled was fighting Nero. Even when they’re fighting the giant statue, Apollo’s arrow magically gets helped by the wind.

I really hope Apollo finds Meg. I have the second book ready to go and will start reading it. I need her to come back to camp. That poor girl had been emotionally and mentally abused by Nero. She was also manipulated by him and I feel so sorry for her.

Leo coming back to camp and Nico setting up a queue to allow the campers to punch him was legitimately one of the funniest things I’ve read in the entire Percy Jackson world.

Calypso giving up immortality is huge. Her reunion with Percy was also funny.

Apollo’s reaction to Calypso was also amazing (juicy gossip. Don’t ask me later.) If Percy is the god of sass, Apollo is literally the god of gossip. I love it.

I’m excited to keep going with this series. It’s nice to that I don’t have to wait until the next book gets published because it’s already out.

[xf-cases-solved]

S2E3: Blood

Case: In, ah—one sec... Franklin, Pennsylvania! It's in Pennsylvania, definitely remembered that on my own accord. Anyway, in Franklin, Pennsylvania, a bunch of people are losing their marbles and murdering people in seemingly random attacks. What ties these crimes together is that right before they went murder hobo, they were in a situation that exacerbated their biggest fears, and also they hallucinated technology telling them to kill, which is very entertaining bc it's the fucking 90s, so the technology is very silly on its own, but is even sillier when it says "KILL 'EM ALL" in big red letters, but I digress. Mulder—with continued secret help from Scully on the side, as well as the Lone Gunmen (!!)—begins to suspect that these killings might actually be related to a pesticide the government is testing on people, but you know how the government gets when you try to claim they're involved in some big conspiracy, la dee da, so it goes.

A man gets laid off work, but that's the least of his problems as technology keeps telling him to kill people; a microwave tells a lady to stab Mulder to death; Mulder gives Frohike Scully's phone number; my notes say there is a handsome cop with nice hair, but I don't know who I was referring to or why I wrote that down; and Mulder's work on the case is ALL DONE. BYE-BYE!

Does someone die in the cold open: He got laid off so he's probably dead inside, but physically everyone is alive. (This does not last long.)

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Still no one to watch. Maybe he makes them for himself and plays them alone in his office and cries.

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Mmmmmmm, not sure. My guess is that the government is planning to get rid of any evidence that they were allowing chemicals to be tested on its citizens, but I'm not sure if Mulder held onto anything or not. I mean, he usually doesn't, so probably not, but -shrug emoji-.

Whodunit: Subliminal messaging caused by a pesticide that the Pennsylvanian government okayed to be tested on the town's residents. I think.

Convictions: None, but the government has to stop spraying people with LSD.

Did they solve it: I'll give it to 'em, why not? Mulder knows what caused it; more or less got a confession, or at least got them to stop doing the thing; and I feel like his report would be one of the less annoying ones he's submitted in his time in the FBI. Good job, Mulder! (And Scully, but unofficially.)

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Not being a test subject for government issued pesticides. I mean, like... you can try, but in the end, is it really up to you? What is the government testing on you right now? What have you been exposed to against your will? Is it LSD? It might be LSD, but who's to say for certain?  Not being a test subject for government issued pesticides — honestly, you're fucked, so maybe you should just... kill 'em all*... *This company does not endorse homicide, even if those homicidal impulses are the government's fault. Please don't sue us.

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 14 (two in a row!)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 6 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8 ½ (i mean, technically that lady came at him with that knife so i'll give him a half point, but i doubt she would have ever been able to actually mortally wound him) 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 13

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 5 (and there were no worms in the body!)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 16 (x come back, bb, i miss u)

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3 

Total Number of (Plot Relevant) Nosebleeds: 5 (changed stat to specify plot relevancy, so i can get away with not counting it if someone gets beat up and their nose happens to bleed or something. the nosebleed in this one did make that man homicidal, tho, so i will up the stat lol)

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 8

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 2!

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 (BUT GUESS WHAT NEXT EPISODE IS???!!! 😀😀😀)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 10½ (shut up) 

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 25 of Harrow the Ninth

So, the Nook app has decided that now it's going to open on my bigger monitor, which is a bit annoying, since I can't browse the book and write the tumblr post at the same time, but since it doesn't have a windowed mode I'm not sure how to switch it back to my laptop

Ok, never mind, while I was writing that, the Nook app crashed again, and when I re-opened it it opened on my laptop

Aroace rep, but from the character whose main role in the story so far is that he's trying to kill the protagonist for no reason?

Although, speaking of Pyrrha, who we so far don't know anything about except that she was Gideon's cavalier, since Gideon the First is a regular Lyctor he must also be Pyrrha on some level, so possibly some of his odd actions are actually Pyrrha's actions, or are because of Pyrrha in some way, and that's why John thinks they are out of character for Gideon

I guess it could be technically possible that Harrow hallucinated that whole thing, but honestly, it would be boring if all of the weird stuff in this book turns out to be a baseless hallucination. I guess the mystery part of this book is figuring out how much of this Cytherea-related stuff is hallucinations and how much is real

So I guess this means that on the fourth or maybe last day of this ultimatum, Harrow will make Ianthe a bone arm and this problem will be solved?

I can't decide if Ianthe has some sort of Plan to get Harrow to make her a bone arm, or if pretending like she doesn't care is just her way of coping

So Ianthe burns the onions (or at least she says she does) and Harrow just doesn't cook them at all. Also, I get that Harrow wouldn't be familiar with brightly colored vegetables, but wouldn't she also not be familiar with brightly colored candy? Even if they had candy on the Ninth, candy is made in bright colors because people expect good food to be bright colors and that makes the candy look more appetizing. If denizens of the Ninth are not used to brightly-colored food, it doesn't make sense that they'd have brightly colored candy, either

So, I mean, everyone disliked or hated this soup, and we've heard previously that Lyctors don't actually need to eat. I can see the others eating the soup to be polite, but Gideon the First has kind of crossed the line where politeness is going to have any effect by repeatedly trying to kill her. So why did he eat the soup?

Beautiful. If I've understood what John has said about Lyctor mortality well enough, I think he shouldn't have been able to survive this if John hadn't magicked him better, even if I'm wrong and he has no trouble with the necromancy part of Lyctorhood

Please, John, tell us about the last time you ate human being

Unless he's just talking about when Cassiopeia cut off her finger while cooking?

This is a really odd reaction to finding out that Harrow can't sleep for fear of Gideon the First so she is trying to kill him so she can live a normal life? Like, she is his Lyctor, she is blindly devoted to him, he should be pleased that she is this capable in the face of this impossible situation, especially if he really doesn't want Gideon to kill her, because her being capable means she would be better able to protect herself. I wonder if he also is afraid of her hurting him for some reason, for the same reason Gideon the First is? And Mercy's job was not so much to teach her as to do surveillance? Only, if he considered her a legitimate threat, I'm sure he could have just killed her himself at any point, right? Maybe that would wreck the persona of a kindly god that he's projecting, but I almost feel like he could get away with justifying anything at this point. And he asked Mercy if they could put her in the room with him when they fought Number Seven, and Mercy pointed out that that would kill her, there's no way he could have not known that, right?

Also, I'm amused that every time Mercy talks about how young Harrow is, the age gets younger and younger. But her horror that Harrow is so young has definitely made her underestimate her

So I guess this incident reminded Augustine of one of the dead Lyctors? Or Anastasia

Or: "Yeah, that's fair"

Now I'm interested to see if he gets some more characterization in the future

[foxfireink]

Current WIPs

Title links go to any intro posts, and tag links go to the tag pages.

Songs of Decay - Eldritch-inspired suspense radio drama. Tom moves to a small town with his daughter to reconnect with his dad, a retired bodyguard, and find a better life. Unfortunately, the county is afflicted with the eldritch and the local Eldritch Anomalies Department (EAD) is drowning in work. With a skill set (and too much experience) in the eldritch, Tom tries to help and finds himself dealing with an eldritch moose, a murder, occult summonings, and Esther, a local widow determined to solve things on her own. #songs of decay

A Small Lantern Still Gives Light - Xianxia inspired and based. Zhang Huai Shi is one of the last remaining cultivators of a sect destroyed by the new emperor when he came to power over a decade ago. Bai Xue Ying is a half demon hiding his heritage, wandering the cultivation world with Zhang Huai Shi. Their fate and the fate of their whole country begins to shift when they stumble upon a cell containing a long-thought-dead prisoner of war, who also has connections to the Zhang family. Genre-typical deluge of characters, politics, and drama. Family is important. #small lantern

Bards, Courts, and Changelings - Late 1940s, post WWII. Irish mythology is real and causes problems on the regular. Bards act as mortal go between for the fair folk and normal humans, dealing in debts and favors. A Scottish researcher, Irish bard, and English wardens all converge on a changeling case. However, a selkie gets swept into the fray, and an American woman trying to get back home needs help to escape a dangerous fae. There will be a wedding. #bc&c

Living Memory - Modern Greek mythology slice-of-life exploring topics of grief, coming of age, and family. When Blythe's husband Adanil dies and leaves her with a grieving family of five, she decides to pull an Orpheus and sets out after him to the Underworld with a YouTube musician in tow. In the ensuing chaos, the family has to learn how to deal with unlikely success, Fate, and living with the introvert daughter of Hades and Persephone. #living memory

Outcasts - High fantasy where magic is technically illegal in many countries, and an underground resistance has formed that spans the whole continent. Many characters, many perspectives, all trying to make life better as they want to see it. We have several manuscripts that need editing, but the future is becoming clearer. #outcasts

We’ve also got a lot of AUs and random ramblings that we may share for fun~ To get to know us, here’s our writeblr intro.

Let us know if you'd like to be added to tag lists!

- Crookedwriter & Inkwell

[muwitch]

3 and 4 from the dark urge questions for Teth pleaaaase!

omg, thank you SM!!! *cracks fingers* it got lil lengthy so i'll place it under cut.

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

If asked, Teth would probably consider her greatest skill her god-given murder talent, however, it feels more like a given to her (forgive the tautology).

It is something that comes with her nature, and despite it being a skill to an extent [You still need a buffer time between joining the Temple and becoming an unstoppable killing machine, so efficiency in killing should be learned and mastered also. As other connected skills need to be polished too.], it is not what she attributes to herself entirely. If applying to herself she probably would say it’s self-control. 

In truth her greatest skill is resilience.

In the broader sense she has this pesky talent of preserving during difficult situations, sometimes through sheer spite and other negative emotions, but she’d mastered it over years, and yes it is a skill to compress and govern her emotions (most of the time), to be able to creatively problem-solve and have a certain degree of flexibility for the bigger picture.

It’s something that helped her retain a fracture of personality and survive the horrors of being the middle child in the loving bhaalspawn family, what made her technically head of the Temple aside from birthright, it's something that makes her, quote Kressa, indomitable. 

[It’s something she prizes about herself in a sense that it makes her feel a semblance of control (which is a forbidden thing in itself when thinking of it) and helps her detach when necessary.]

It’s also her absolutely illogical will to live (I am looking at the whole tadpoling situation), crawling back from the dead over and over, despite technically being her Father’s favourite sacrificial lamb and supposed last living thing on Toril. 

Resilience does remain post-tadpole, however, if asked the same question, she’d probably say something like charisma, which is, obviously, sarcasm.

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

For pre-tadpole Teth that would be…mortality. Or rather what she considers mortal things. 

Anything that would stray her from the path charted by her Father. It’s in her nature to retrospect and do a lot of self-digging, and what she finds inside underneath years of servitude and gore is both a dirty secret and a greatest flaw she can only mask with pragmatism and lying.

[She’s prone to address Gortash as mortal with both disdain and childish envy in her inner monologues.]

It’s the emotional void that never truly fills and only aches, sometimes sated by momentary urges. The fragments left of the life before (though they are bleak and blurry, half-fantasies too) Teth wishes she could discard. The substitutes for connections she still needs to an extent (preventing her from killing Orin years ago). Basically all the things that come to her without self restraint the moment the weight of memory is lifted.

Post-tadpole Teth probably considers her biggest flaw the initial inability to pragma her way through certain things. She’s progressively more moody, but the lack of understanding is really killing her. She tries to rationalise but it just…doesn’t work.

It’s like barking through bloody teeth into the silence. That void drives her absolutely mad.

It’s tightly related to the power play and feeling in or out of control. That’s what makes her a bit distant from the party (adding emotional distancing as a flaw but she'll never admit).

It makes her burst out on whim if she understands others hold knowledge over her she does not possess (I am looking at Ketheric). There’s no way to ensure the reliability of the source and that uncertainty just. It’s the worst.

And for someone who once treasured her own self-control and feeling of power, lack thereof even a bit is the worst thing ever.

[jesscmy]

@anakinsstuff​ plotted a starter for Dream

Remembering that you were technically a centuries old raven who had served the Lord of the Dreaming only solved so many of your problems. At the end of the day, it didn’t make you any less of a mortal in the present. It didn’t take away any of the facts of your life such as having to keep a roof over your head or working a so-so job at a cafe to make money because to the rest of the world you were a 25 year old girl and that was sort of expected.

She wasn’t Hob Gadling with centuries of acquired wealth to fall back on.

Most of the time, it wasn’t that much of a problem. She wasn’t opposed to working, and the manager of the cafe wasn’t as imposing as her last boss if one wanted to get technical.

But it was much harder to focus when that former boss had taken to sitting at a table watching you work and waiting for you to be finished.

“You could wait in my flat, you know,” She brought over a cup of tea to sit in front of him, mostly so he’d look more like a regular customer. “Or anywhere else. I can’t imagine you’re enjoying this.”

[mikka-minns]

I like to think Erlang Shen and Chen Xiang would both agree to just move to Vietnam cuz their Divine culture is wonderful: You get punished if you do bad and you get rewarded if you do good regardless of ranks, peaceful working conditions minus the occasional chaos, no discrimination to anyone's birth conditions, just no discrimination, most importantly is that you're allowed to marry anyone you want regardless of their kind

I mean Chen Xiang could've gotten such a healthy life growing up here and everyone (Human or Gods) would treat him wonderfully

Ngl I think their conversation would go as follows:

Chen Xiang: Y'know I would rather you just drop me right in Vietnam borders after stuffing my mom into a Mountain, I wouldn't mind

Erlang Shen: EXCUSE ME WHAT??!!

Chen Xiang: They have really amazing treatments towards hybrids like me

Chen Xiang: I could've grown up in a healthy way and not had everyone hating my existence for having human blood, THERE ARE EXAMPLES of such, one of the Major Gods was reborn as a Human Child and no one questioned his peculiarity

Chen Xiang: It can even solve our "having children with humans" problems with the Women in our family

Erlang Shen: Okay I can't argue with that, I mean the entire country's people have God blood in them, as little as most of them have, so technically they're similar to us, we both have Human dads

Chen Xiang: YES! We should get a Pantheon switch!

Yes!

This is how a realistic lotus lantern would go

Yang Jian: Chan are you Fucking serious? You're having a mortal's baby-

Yang Chan, very pregnant and irretated: step the hell back, you cant do anything to me, you cant do shit to me, your rules dont mean shit to me

Yang jian:????

Yang Chan: i've got legal documentation, im moving to Vietnam

Yang jian: okey so you're just crazy

Yang Chan: nuh uh! Listen!

After she explain the whole thing to him

Yang jian:.... Why didnt you just say so?! Lets go!

And so Yang Chan and her husband smuggle Yang Jian from China to Vietnam(they forgot to get him the documentation as well)

[deathvalleyqueen]

D&D tumblr. I have a tiny story...

Background: My Tiefling Circle of Stars Druid/Hexblade Warlock's father is a Cambion who happens to be a warlock patron (technically her Warlock Patron now), powerful dude really - has some personal issues in the Hells, spends most of his time on the mortal plane owning a bar that serves as front for his warlocks to bring him secrets and what not. He has been used a few times so far for the party to get info from and is a fun guy who pops up to help the party on occasion. Really I feel like he has been used really well by my DM as someone from her backstory that fits well into the plot. The party all like him as a character though none of them besides my character honestly trusts him. All in all he has been this awesome addition to the story. Honestly, love to see it. Really good for my girl tbh - her dad loves her (by nine hells standards but still) - mostly because she is a chaotic ray of sunshine who spends her days talking to plants and her fat pet raccoon named Biscuit. The fact she is also slowly becoming the sleeper powerhouse of the party, also fills Devil Dad with much pride.

Well, today in session we realized after I joked about needing a spell of "Summon Dad" when the BBEG showed up to taunt us after I did a Hold Person I was expecting to fail and it didn't. Thus making what was supposed to be a STUPIDLY hard fight into just a total beat down with my girl taking exactly 0 points of damage while she easily was the most annoying person damage-wise and just control spell-wise. When the BBEG taunted her, calling her by her name and trying to get in her head. All I had her say under her breath was "I could really use a summon dad spell..." for two main reasons - 1- she is a daddy's girl in the most non-sexual way it can be used in 2024. She loves her dad, she thinks he does no wrong ever. Never moved past that point in her view of him because her mom kept her away from him. 2 - and probably the more game relevant reason, because the BBEG was trying to outsmart them with a contract and my girl is the daughter of a Warlock Patron - who in their backstory taught her about making smart contracts etc ... obviously, we needed to call in our expert contract lawyer... Dad. We didn't really need to but it was funny and it broke up a series of rather tense moments for the players and our DM who was still upset my Hold Person hit and stayed for 3 rounds.

Once we moved past it thanks to most of the party being able to read Infernal and my girl stopping her cosplay as Chamber of Secrets Draco Malfoy for 5 seconds, we all started to realize in a few levels she would be able to cast a spell that could do just that. "Summon Dad" - is just a very specific version of Planar Ally. It's a Cleric spell yeah... but thematicly being able to just have her scream "DAD!" is hilarious and so within her character. She genuinely thinks her dad will solve all the problems and have all the answers. He is also her Warlock Patron now that I multiclassed her. So he is very invested in her not getting yeeted. He could easily be one of the most powerful allies the group has and they have very powerful allies - the game is going on a year at this point, most of us are on our second characters cuz our first ones got sent off to other planes for a bit. It would/could be very OP for her to have this and it's not something I think would use in combat unless we had one PC go down and fail death saves.

This has been living in my head rent free all day. ALL DAY.

I am now working on a five-paragraph essay on why my D&D character should be given a very specific version of Planar Ally called "Summon Dad" that she can use once per 1d12 days (rolled after each time used to see recharge time) as Warlock Invocation in a few levels. We have already homebrewed aspects of her specific version of Hexblade (like her being able to use her WIS as her casting stat and having blade be something passed down through her family from the hells as her first steps in learning the 'family business' etc) that this mostly silly idea to add mostly to RP and ease of information gathering/magic item trading. It fits the character so well, I think the party would be amused as well. I would even be fine with not using it combat till a certain level just because her having some ability to scream "DAD" and he has to just pop in and all *with heavy sarcasm* "Yes, my child and her odd blood covered friends what can I do for you now.." is too hilarious not to try and get.

Wish Me Luck

[staryuee]

Lotus Rib Soup — Domestic Genshin Hcs ⸝⸝

— [warnings]. as always , not proofread and also written by sleep deprived me at 7am

— synopsis . . . some simple fluffy domestic headcanons

— characters . . . ayato , ayaka , zhongli , ningguang , xiao

— notes . . . these are just general domestic things i can imagine them doing :) not necessarily after marriage (but u can ofc interpret that they r!)

K. AYATO

— now if you thought he was clingy and overbearing before, be prepared for that to TRIPLE once you start living together

— you tell him constantly to ‘not go overboard’, but this is the head of the yashiro commission we’re talking about so of course he won’t listen

— he S P O I L S YOU , you simply gazed at some pretty jewellery on your walk today ? it’ll be sitting on your vanity desk the next morning, said you were craving some food ? he’s having it prepared right away

— now this man is a classic and dare i say traditional romantic, so you will get the sappy ‘breakfast in bed with a kiss on the forehead’ treatment every morning before he heads off to his duties

— every single day no matter how busy he is, he will give you a bouquet of flowers accompanied with some kisses, because hey who doesn’t enjoy some flowers (me, i have hayfever)

— before you he just let thoma clean up around the place, but now with you it feels rather intimate to him to complete some chores together , it just makes him happy

— overall 20/10 , wife husband material !!!

K. AYAKA

-- another one that completely spoils you rotten, but in a much more subtle way (at least she hopes because if she comes off as clingy she’ll probably hide herself from you until the next century)

— one thing she will absolutely never get tired of is hand holding , to the majority something like handholding is just a normal custom to any sort of relationship

— BUT !! to ayaka , it’s something that she finds to be a form of comfort, it makes her feel so much more comfortable and safe knowing that you won’t be leaving her any time soon

— what she loves even more than that is kisses, the passionate and chaste ones are always lovely and welcome however the ones she really prefers are the ones where you’re both laughing over something stupid - it makes everything seem so much more real to her

— she literally loves the random moments where you just twirl her around, it could be simply to give her a greeting or even a hug , but for some reason it makes her heart flutter

— your anniversaries would be so nicely organised and beautifully done , she’d probably plan months in advance because she just wants you to know that she loves you much more than she can show

— ayaka is very prone to loneliness, and having someone with her who she’s able to cherish and be so close with makes every hardship she faces worth it, every day when she’s done with her duties or even while she’s still performing them, she’s dreaming of being there with you

ZHONGLI

— this old ass man istg (affectionate)

— he will pester you SO much about your physical and mental well-being , always telling you, “ai ren, you’ll strain your eyes if you keep looking at those papers in the dark, come to bed,” OR ,”darling, i’m not sure venting your frustrations on some hilichurls will solve your problems, but im always free to listen.”

— now that he’s trying to live out his ‘mortal life’, he’ll definitely start appreciating and noticing minor details about you; whether that be your mannerisms, your tonal shifts, to your laugh or even your posture

— since he’s still technically an archon he just sorta ditched his job because he couldn’t be asked, he doesn’t necessarily need sleep BUT he absolutely adores the nightly routine you two have (once he finally coaxes you into going to bed that is)

— cooking is most certainly one of his favourite activities to do with you, not only is it enjoyable he gets to see you dance around the kitchen trying to find utensils and ingredients - honestly just looking at you doing anything makes him have the most love stricken expression on his face.

NINGGUANG

— now if you thought the kamisato siblings spoiled you, the tianqian takes that to the extreme

— if your gaze even lingers on an object for a second ningguang will have it in your possession in the next minute or so , ‘anything my dearest wants they’ll get’ that’s basically her motto

— she literally creates a room just for you in the jade chamber that she allowed you to decorate however you wished (most of the jade chamber has your touches added to it anyway)

— early mornings with ningguang don’t last long but they’ll always leave an impact on you both for the rest of the day , you’ll wake up with limbs tangled together and with your bodies pressed closed together, ningguang will give you special morning kisses to help boost your energy for the day but it honestly makes you just yearn for her more and distracts you

— she’s a rich and powerful chinese auntie ok, and she absolutely adores little kids she wants nothing more but for them to be happy and healthy - so when she sees you with kids her heart just simply explodes (crystallises? lol)

— “how can just a singular person be so precious and adorable … rex lapis thank you.”

— will ask about your thoughts on starting and raising a family, nothing too major of course maybe just one or two kids. anything you’re up for, she’s more than willing !

XIAO

— he’s been through way too much (especially after that new quest..) and being able to come to you and safely say “i’m home” genuinely makes him feel so loved and happy for once

— one thing he really enjoys while staying at home with you, is being cared for. you always reassure him that it’s just what he deserves, and your not doing any of this out of pity but out of love, and he absolutely knows that and cherishes that fact.

— wether it be back massages to relieve stress, cute little at home dates, intriguing conversations at three am as neither of you can fall asleep - xiao holds it all dear in his heart

— xiao doesn’t really have much of a morning ? i mean he doesn’t sleep and if you try to coerce him you’ll get turned down with the “i’m not mortal, i’ll be fine.” - but as soon as he says that line you respond back with the “but i’ll be so lonely without you” and he is dragging you to bed with you

— when you finally wake up together it’s the prettiest sight anyone could bear the witness of seeing, both of your bodies entangled together with xiao’s arms strongly hugging your waist in attempt to close the non existent gap between you

— he insists that this is all “useless” and that he’s waiting precious hours of the day, but with the loving way his eyes gaze at you ever morning and the way he tucks locks of your hair away from your face to look at you - it’s impossible to believe him

— your nighttimes are usually just spent with you coddling him and perhaps singing or humming a sweet melody to him

— kids are out of the question with him btw , buuutttt maybe if you begged enough times-

©IHEARTGANYU do not copy, steal or repost <3

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Can you write parallels between July and hinny?

The one that always knew

The similarities between James and Ginny are many but let's stick to the ones that have relevance in their dynamics with Lily and Harry.

These two are the romantics. In Snape's memories, we see James pretending to have a sword, talking about heroes and courage, and then we have Ginny who is really no different. Grown-up with the story of the boy who lived, completely fascinated by him and this legend.

So it's not surprising at all that they are the ones who knew long before their counterparts about their feelings. And they make it known, even if their approaches are quite different, and very gendered which is realistic.

James is bold, he right out asks Lily out, the way he does it is very questionable and difficult to be taken seriously but still. Ginny is shy and pretty much wants to kill herself for not being able to stop blushing, yet there's a boldness to her too with the poem. Technically it was meant to be anonymous but is still a very bold move.

Obviously, for the fandom James' approach needed to be praised while Ginny was a psychotic maniac because God forbid, a woman making a guy the object of her affections putting him in a passive position. What is this? Feminism???

James and Ginny are two awkward messes in this specific area, but they are very in touch with their feelings and were certain enough about them to not be able to fully get over Lily and Harry even if they had to wait a while. I'm sure they would both tell you that it was worth it.

The maturity

James and Ginny's behaviors when Lily and Harry were around needed to be changed for them to show their true selves to the objects of their affections.

I mean, the problem could have been solved by locking in a room the pairs, or Harry and Ginny going to the Yule Ball together, but that would've been too easy, no?

It's made very clear by Sirius that while for sure James had some things to improve about himself, his attitude when Lily was around wasn't his average one, he was, well, too James? A very exaggerated version of himself?

And with Ginny, well we know the story. Just like James, she had to stop letting her feelings take control of her actions.

When James and Ginny managed this, oh... how the tables turned...

The one that was clueless

Now it's time to talk about our resident green-eyed idiots.

It took a while for Lily and Harry to understand their feelings for James and Ginny but the pull, the attraction, the Je ne sais quoi, was always there.

Again, with Harry, we know the story. From the inability to take his eyes off Ginny at King's Cross to descriptions of setting suns to Ginny being the first person he looked at on the dance floor. The pull was always there but until Ginny didn't show her true self, Harry's subconscious really didn't know what to do with this attraction.

We know a lot less about James and Lily obviously and yet it's made quite clear that Lily was drawned to James. From the traitorous smile that escaped her lips even when she was angry at him to Sirius a bit too sure assurance that she never really hated James.

The external factors

The real obstacle for these two couples revolves around external factors.

For Harry and Ginny, we have traumatic life-altering events that include possessions, alleged murderers, mortal tournaments, dark lords, and other minor love interests to distract them.

With James and Lily, the obstacle has a name and it's Severus Snape. Lily's best friend and James archnemesis. Let's do a couple of calculations, shall we? James and Lily got married really young, we know that they started dating in their seventh year, so the most reasonable assumption is that they started dating at the start of the year. This means that things between them changed during their sixth year. Now if only something major happened at the end of their fifth year... oh, wait. The moment Lily gets rid of her friendship with Snape and his insistent attempts at putting James in a bad light in her eyes, Lily falls for James, what a coincidence.

The symbolism

Both pairings of Potters enter the soulmates' dynamic. Admittedly, Harry and Ginny a lot more because we have seven books about them and an inside point of view. But a major point of this type of dynamic is the fact that the characters need to be like two magnets drawned to each other so if you want to keep them apart you have to make it impossible for them to be together, and how do you do that? External factors, inability for a long time to be around the other, things like that. Just think about Amy and Laurie from Little Women.

Another important point for soulmates' dynamics is symbolism. The thing is, soulmates are not something that objectively exists. So unless you are writing a world-building where there are like soulmates marks or that kind of thing, the author has to rely on things like symbolism to make the reader understand.

With Harry and Ginny, we have Ginny's name, three hundred different metaphors, Ginny's association with light, Harry's death sequence, and so on...

With James and Lily again we have a lot less material but between the matching patroni and the fact that their love gave birth to the guy who saved the world with his ability to love, the message is pretty clear.

[There's a lot more to soulmates dynamics, and every author has some liberty for variations, but I'm keeping the elements of hinny that jily presents too. There's a lot more for hinny.]

[moonlightmidtone]

could we have, like, a quick-ish summary of fate’s fiercest so far? i’m loving the artwork but have absolutely no clue what’s going on lol

Yeaahh I just realized to anyone scrolling thru my tumblr the actual plot of what’s going on might be hard to understand 😅

The Basics:

Before this group of weirdos was another adventuring party who called themselves’ Misery’s Flock. They formed as a party because of an employer named Charlay (who for context, is a vessel created for the sole purpose of acting out the Goddess Ramona’s plan). During that party’s time, a disease was spreading across the country that they were /supposed/ to stop before it reached the capital city. They had a package in their care that was to be delivered to a genasi who could help with making a cure. It was delivered, but many of the party members died and they had arrived too late. They technically failed, and the disease continued to wreak havoc for 10 years.

Fast forward to now. Ramona (Goddess of Fate, Death and Graves) has been searching for a new party to once again stop the spread of the plague that has now made its trek to a different country. Instead of relying on a mortal person to gather up members, she has Charlay and Elisheva (Goddess of Lies, Luck, and Trickery) to assemble a new group of people she has personally selected. One way or another, they all went to one city and were given a contract to become a party under Charlay’s name.

As a newly assembled group, Charlay sends crows to their locations to scout out different items and solve problems in villages and cities to bring them one step closer to ending the plague. The plan changed ever so slightly though. Originally, the idea was to gather old scattered dwarven mural pieces dedicated to the god Makana (Music, Joy, Medicine) so that he may gather enough power to stop the plague.

The party soon discovered that it wasn’t so much as the plague spreading, as it was the goddess Det (Disease, Poison, Cults) and her, well, cult, trying to bring about the apocalypse (as in, Pestilence, Famine, War, and Death). They’ve been trying to get enough power to Det to consume a mortal life that they’ve prepared and possess a vessel that they have cultivated for her for over 20 years, that vessel being Wendy (twin sister of Jasper). Everything they’ve done on this adventure so far has been an effort to stop the cult.

And everything they’ve done so far has just been build up to the main quest arc where they finally start to realize how much shit they’re in and how much is riding on their shoulders. Being saviors of the world is kind of a tough job lmao.

(I could get into the nitty gritty how just everything they’ve done but honestly it’s so much because I am NOT good at pacing lmao)

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Do you think Jesus was better or worse than his dad? I know there's probably an argument to be made that they're both terrible, but is one less terrible than the other?

I've long enjoyed Hitch's take:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g52sX8PgX8&t=1m50s

"The totalitarian concept of the afterlife: The hideous idea doesn’t even occur in the violent, rape and genocide filled books of the Jewish bible. There’s no punishment of the dead. When god has destroyed your tribe and had your virgins and your children murdered in front of you, and had your flocks and herds scattered and so on, and you also fall down to a bronze sword, he’s done with you. The earth can close over you. That’s it. You tangled with the wrong tribe, the one he favored.

Not until gentle Jesus, meek and mild, are you told: – If you don’t make the right propitiations you can depart into everlasting fire – One of the most wicked ideas ever preached, and one that’s ruined the lives and peace of mind of many, many children preached to them by vicious, child hating old men and women, in the name of this ghastly cult, which we’re met here to discuss tonight."

I think there's a pretty good case in the bible that Jesus is worse, simply because he's not better. He's supposed to be, but isn't. Lord is what he is - a violent, celestial overlord who acts simultaneously like a terrorist and a giant baby.

Jesus brought the "new covenant." He could have heralded all kinds of social improvements such as ending slavery, and revealing new knowledge. But he didn't. He could have brought the message that humanity’s greatest commandment was to bring peace and wellbeing to everyone on the spheroidal planet. But he didn’t. He could have told everyone that Lord is an eternal, immortal being, and mortal, temporal love for it doesn’t even make any sense whatsoever, that humanity’s efforts should be for each other, and doing that, seeing its children’s success, that will make Lord happy and proud. But he didn’t.

He was supposed to bring a new, better relationship with Lord. He supposedly brought all the love and hugs. But did he? You're with him or against him, you're to love him more than your family, he comes to bring a sword and division, he comes to fulfil the law, not replace or end it, commanded love remains the first obligation, and no evil is too bad for a believer to be denied paradise. All in the bible, as I’ve quoted before.

On top of this, he cranked up the manipulation another notch. orchestrating his own suicide-by-centurion in a public blood-magic ritual. Over a problem his dad created in the first place, and either couldn't or wouldn't solve. And then demands people thank him for this manipulation by pledging allegiance to him, or else be cast into eternal hellfire. Your choice.

Whatever "good" he did seems to have been for the spectacle of bolstering his own reputation and fan base, not for the good of humanity or the furthering of moral progress.

And of course, his ultimate objective is to come back and just fuck the entire world completely up, eviscerate everyone who was "not with me", demonstrating the black and white thinking one would expect from the psychopathic offspring of a psychopath. The same extinction-level Second Coming that Xians the world over are salivating for.

The difference between them really is a matter of technicalities. His father being a grandiose narcissist, and he himself a vulnerable narcissist. The grandiose narcissist is at least fairly up front about what he's doing - the logic of the Lord isn't that complicated: obey or die. Jesus wants to manipulate you into thinking he's doing you a favor.

It's sort of like the bully in the playground, who declares that everything there is hers, she makes the rules and everybody has to follow them, she'll take your lunch money, ban you from playing games she doesn't like, and forbids telling on her. Eventually she sits at the top of the slide and just glares at everyone.

Jesus is her weaselly friend who says "hey, don't worry, I gotcha. I'm here to make everything better, don't worry. All you have to do is declare your undying fealty to me, abandon all your friends, make me the center of your world, and I'll look after you. Of course, if you don't, I'll get her to beat the absolute shit out if you. To show you how much I want to protect you from the bully, who is my best friend., I'm going to give up Twinkies for you. Until the weekend, that is. That's how much I want to protect you from my friend, the bully. You'll owe me big for that. You're welcome."

Lord is the bully who wants to subjugate the entire world to its will. That is, of course, the entire point of the first couple of Commandments, and those didn't go away in the New Testament. (Believers like to pretend that “tHe oLd TeStAmEnT nO LoNgEr aPpLiEs!!!” but if they genuinely believed that, Xianity itself could not exist.) Jesus wants you to feel like that subjugation was your choice, that it was a good idea, that it was a loving act to set up this trap in the first place, and for you to thank him for it.

Such a level of manipulation while still positioned as "gentle Jesus, meek and mild" I find somewhat more disturbing than the unapologetic bluntness of Lord.

That said, the problem ultimately comes back to Lord anyway. If Lord wasn't such an unrelenting narcissist and malevolent sociopath, Jesus wouldn't need to be his standover merchant.

So, deciding which one is the worst is like...

Thank goodness that, like Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader, they're also both - and very obviously - complete fiction.

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E4: Conduit

Case: Sioux City, Iowa, at Lake Okobogee, Darlene Morris' daughter, Ruby vanishes outside their trailer. A bright light and ominous music precedes her disappearance. Darlene—an alleged abductee herself—is pretty sure she knows where her daughter is. (👽🛸). Mulder takes a vested interest in the case because it reminds him of his missing sister. This is not the only time Mulder is going to take on a case because it reminds him of his missing sister.

Does someone die in the cold open: We do not know RUUBAYYY's fate by the time titles run, however we learn at the end that she did in fact survive, so no cold open deaths today.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Yes

Does the evidence survive the investigation: The NSA stole most of it, but I think they were able to hold onto the creepy kid's binary code portrait of his sister, so that's something at least.

Whodunit: The government? Aliens? The government and aliens working together? Who's to say.

Convictions: They did technically catch that pregnant girl for murder, but since that was not what they were investigating, I'm gonna say they got none.

Did they solve it: No, but by now they've had enough shady encounters with the government that they're probably starting to notice a trend, which I will count as experience points.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Crying alone in a church. With all the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it can be hard to find time to just get away from it all and express those feelings welling up inside. Have you never shown any indication that you may be religious at all in the context of your personal narrative, and in fact, does your character development later on lead to the revelation that you have no strong connections with faith? No problem! At the end of the day, it's all about aesthetics, so give crying alone in a church a try!

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 1 (they lost their streak)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, it's me": 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 0

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 1

Total Number of Sexually Charged and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 3

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 2

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 1 (but in this case I only remembered bc once, many years ago, I saw in the notes of someone else's post saying Mulder and Scully's safeword is "Okobogee" and that has stuck with me ever since)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 1 (i literally made this category b/c i knew i would have to watch Conduit. i do not care about Conduit)