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"The totalitarian concept of the afterlife: The hideous idea doesn’t even occur in the violent, rape and genocide filled books of the Jewish bible. There’s no punishment of the dead. When god has destroyed your tribe and had your virgins and your children murdered in front of you, and had your flocks and herds scattered and so on, and you also fall down to a bronze sword, he’s done with you. The earth can close over you. That’s it. You tangled with the wrong tribe, the one he favored. Not until gentle Jesus, meek and mild, are you told: – If you don’t make the right propitiations you can depart into everlasting fire – One of the most wicked ideas ever preached, and one that’s ruined the lives and peace of mind of many, many children preached to them by vicious, child hating old men and women, in the name of this ghastly cult, which we’re met here to discuss tonight." -- Christopher Hitchens
Threatening violence if you don't get what you want is literally extortion
extortion | ikˈstôrSH(ə)n, ekˈstôrSH(ə)n | noun the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats.
At least the mob boss leaves once he has your kneecaps broken.
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mothercain · 2 months ago
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what are your views on p0rn?
not really a question with a simple answer. i don’t find the concept of pornography and portraying non-simulated sex on video to be problematic. a lot of work i consume and am interested in creating across multiple mediums is of a graphic sexual nature and i think it’s perfectly fine to engage with media of said graphic sexual nature. people fuck and like to see fucking, it’s a tale as old as time. on the flip side, in a similar vein with most things (including religion), i think the organized industry aspect of it is pretty diabolical and harrowing. sex trafficking, abuse, extortion, and child pornography, especially regarding women, is pretty rampant in the industry and always has been. so while i’m fine with the concept of porn, the porn industry is pretty much rotted to the core and needs a massive overhaul/exposing. however, as with the government and religion and most other things, i highly doubt it will ever get one.
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If we assume the animorphs didn't bring up the ellimist after the war, how do you think they explained tobias' whole deal?
I think that a) they don't, and b) there's a ton of misguided speculation as a result.
At least in the first few years after the war becomes public, I assume almost no one would know how morphing works. There's, what, ~5 surviving Animorphs and ~20 ex-controllers who weren't on the Blade ship? And that's it for human morphers on Earth. So if Marco goes "our buddy Tobias got stuck in hawk morph (totally by accident!) but then he later recovered enough to start morphing again", then there's not necessarily anyone to come out of the woodwork and announce that that makes no sense. So maybe most humans think that it's sometimes possible to start morphing again after being nothlited, if they think about it at all.
As Earth's culture continues to change — more andalite tourists, more morphing humans — then I could see people as a whole starting to spot the contradiction. Andalite authorities in particular would probably be pissed off and frustrated by Tobias, because how dare this half-human walking-disgrace-to-Elfangor's-legacy be the one to figure out a morphing trick that none of them ever did. Tobias explaining that he's met their god, that he extorted their god, and that that's why he's a nothlited morpher, probably would only piss them off more. They might even refuse to believe him.
From there, I think that the version of the truth that trickles to most ordinary humans would be something like: "That Tobias guy got stuck in morph but then started morphing again? Yeah, he said he got that from his andalite god. I guess it hasn't happened with anyone else before, so you do you man. We all respect each other's religions, and if that's what he wants to think happened, that's cool with me."
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cannedpickledpeaches · 7 months ago
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Insert Your Name (10)
Mafia!Jade Leech x Mafia!Reader
Link to series masterlist!
Notes and TW: You have a conversation with a "god." This series will have mentions of blood, violence, crime (kidnapping, attempted assassination, extortion), and harassment, as one might expect from a mafia AU. Please enjoy!
Tags: @guava-enjoyer @itszzmoon @twstsandturns @myteacupisempty @rou-luxe @chikitasmol @night-shadowblood-writes2 @haveneulalie @owodi
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You thought as much for a while—that this world exists inside a story. This world is created for “(Y/N),” and you are Friend A, according to that manuscript. But after all this time, your own thoughts and Jade’s persistent questioning has led you to doubt it. Jade was the one who said you aren’t a character, that the two of you have “thoughts and feelings that go beyond ink on paper.”
But a god? It isn’t a common word in Twisted Wonderland. The Seven are legends, but they were real mages who lived millennia past. Some religions exist, but they’re mostly local. To see someone proclaim themself as a god before your eyes seems like a joke.
The man notes your skepticism and chuckles.
“I only mean it in relation to your abilities. It will become clear as I explain.” He takes another sip of tea. “Twisted Wonderland is a place made from stories, for stories. Broadly speaking, it is a ‘story setting.’ And my purpose is to make stories come to life.”
You try to make sense of his words. Referring to himself as a god, talking about what he does to stories . . . . “Are you the author of that manuscript?”
“No, I’m afraid you have come to the wrong conclusion. I make stories come to life, but it has been a long time since I’ve penned one onto paper. As for the matter of the identity of the author, you would not have to look very far, as she has spoken to you only moments prior.”
You inhale sharply. Your eyes drift to the window as your thoughts start to whirl. That can only be (Y/N). She was the author all along? It would make sense since she’s the main character. But nothing else adds up. Her odd behaviour, her breakdown, her supposedly lost memories of you. You’re also pretty sure she has never met Jade prior to the events of the manuscript playing out in real life. How could she have written it before that? Furthermore, you don’t believe (Y/N) could ever be the type of person to imagine harm coming to anyone, even in a fictional story, even if it’s to Jade’s parents whom she has also never met.
“To clarify, that person is not the one you’ve known for some time.” He chuckles at your bewilderment. “(Y/N) was a character created to be a placeholder. Tell me, do you recall her appearance?”
“Of course I—” You cut yourself off. The only things you can think of are adjectives. Pretty. Dainty. A messy bun. A slim waist. Gorgeous, sparkling eyes. You can’t even remember their colour.
“(Y/N), which stands for ‘Your Name,’ is a placeholder. A blank space where anyone can insert their name.” The teacup clinks against its saucer. “It is supposed to be a one-size-fit all. However, the (Y/N) you know was created for a specific person. The name that was intended to replace this placeholder is that of a girl who lives outside this story setting—a girl who did not exist in Twisted Wonderland. That is the true author of this story.”
You don’t understand what he means by “placeholder.” But you know what he means by people who live outside your world. You recall the twins and Azul mentioning something similar. Shrimpy. Prefect. That human from their high school days, someone who supposedly came from another world. Someone who did not exist in Twisted Wonderland before coming here.
“Were there other cases of . . . well, people from other worlds?”
“Certainly. Like I said, Twisted Wonderland is a place made from stories, for stories. Seeing as tales of strangers in strange lands are the foundation for many stories, from folklore to modern novels, it is not strange to believe someone could be the protagonist of a story where they are pulled from another world to this one.” He pauses when he sees your furrowed brows. “I must apologize again. I am often chastised for my long-winded deliveries.”
“Yeah, you talk too much. Cut the fluff and tell me.”
He chuckles. “Yes, of course. The most recent prior to this case was one named Yuu, although that character was not under my jurisdiction. Your author, however, is under my jurisdiction. She was a fan of Yuu’s story. Once it ended, she sought to extend the story. Essentially, she wrote a fanfiction, which is the very manuscript you stumbled upon. The setting is Twisted Wonderland years after Yuu's story, and the main character she created is an idealistic version of herself—the person she wished she could be.”
It makes sense why you could only think of positive adjectives when describing her. (Y/N) was indeed, like you’d thought from the start, created to be perfect.
“Day after day, she wished with all her soul to insert herself into that story, to live out that fantasy. Eventually, I heard her wishes and decided to grant them. I gave her the opportunity to enter (Y/N)’s body.”
“You can do that?”
“My dear,” he says pleasantly, “there was a reason why I likened myself to a god from your perspective.”
So they weren’t empty words or narcissism. This man has powers you have never even heard of.
The first thing you feel is a wave of relief. So the person who came screaming at you with the intent to kill was not (Y/N), after all. It was someone who took over her body. A stranger took over the body of your beloved friend, took over her life, her relationships, her autonomy . . . A stranger. The second thing you feel is anger. How dare they. How dare they waltz in and ruin everything? You keep quiet and listen to the man’s explanation, resentment bubbling in your gut.
“So the author abandoned her previous life to enter your world. It came with a few caveats: she must lose her name and run the course of the story as (Y/N). Only after the story’s conclusion would she regain her name. Another caveat was that she did not have access to (Y/N)’s memories. I imagine it was a point of curiosity for you—why she seemed to forget everything about who you are.”
You narrow your eyes. “It wasn’t Walrus?”
“I am afraid not. She has never encountered Walrus.”
Deductions and contemplations can be wrong. You know this better than anyone. Yet, you can’t help but feel cheated. With all the information you had, how could you possibly have known? It’s as though you were blindsided by a truck. Looking back, it makes sense. The elusive identity of the author. How the manuscript contains insider knowledge about events concerning the Leech family. Of course it does, the author was the one who wrote those details into existence. Even her reaction to seeing you on the beach, which must have been her first time meeting you. Of course she was confused when Jade mentioned you to her. You don’t have a name in the story. How could she possibly know the name of Friend A?
“Walrus is a character who ties up inconsistencies from the original plot. I had to work hard to ensure it all fell in line.”
“Aren’t you a ‘god?’ Can’t you just, I don’t know, make it happen?”
He laughs. “I am not omnipotent. I can only influence factors that make the story more likely to happen. As in, I can create ‘events,’ which influence ‘responses and actions.’ Characters are defined by their base character traits and then shaped through events; this is what is called character development. I design and set into motion events that will most likely produce the desired characterization. Notably, I cannot control characters or their emotions. I must say, that young lady did not understand this concept very well. Her events were heavily focused on what her favourite characters could do for (Y/N), as opposed to building a foundation so they would wish to do such things. It was rather difficult to make sure the pieces fell in place so those events could occur.”
Several things connect in your mind like a line of dominoes tipping each other over. The manual first appeared in that attic with no clear origin—he must have planted it there because you, Jade, and Floyd are the only people who enter that room. Jade fell asleep in (Y/N)’s apartment because he was busy to the point of exhaustion after taking up the mantle as the leader of the mafia. (Y/N) did not become Floyd’s mood stabilizer. Jade did not fall in love with her. When she—the author—confronted you on the beach, she blamed you as the reason why Jade would not love her. But that isn’t entirely true, is it? Her “events”—Jade cooking for her, sleeping in the same bed—relies on Jade already having feelings for her. But to Jade, she was a stranger he met in an alley. You understand a crucial fact: actions and emotions cannot be manipulated.
“I admit that I panicked and caused you alarm when I tried to send you and Jade away from that beach. That whole debacle was not an event in the story, so I caused some factors that led to Floyd accidentally breaking one of Jade’s terrariums. It was not a serious emergency.” He grows pensive. “But now that the story has gone completely off the rails, I must figure out how to proceed. The author is quite upset with me, especially since she thought with my help, the story was guaranteed to go exactly as written.”
“You were communicating with her?”
“Periodically, yes.” He sips his tea, looking directly at you. “But she was terribly hard-headed and refused to listen to my words.”
What a waste. She had a god on her side, yet she couldn’t use her brain to take advantage of it? Perhaps it’s your bias against her, but you can’t think well of the author.
“Why did you decide to grant her wish, anyway?”
The man lowers his gaze with a soft smile. “I am a storyteller at heart, and she had a story she desperately wanted to become her reality.”
You grit your teeth. “So what? It’s only made things difficult for everyone. Is that shitty story even worth telling?”
“What do you use to judge a story’s worth? The number of people who read it? The number of critics or fans? These are all irrelevant.” His eyes, though gentle in the warm light of the fireplace, hold silvery clarity and resolution from the moonlight. “All that matters is that one person found enjoyment in it. Even if the only person who loves a story is its author, that story has served its purpose. There is no such thing as a meaningless story. Every writer sets out to write a story for a reason, be it wealth, fame, personal satisfaction, a creative outlet . . . . Why do you think this author wrote hers?”
It doesn’t take a genius. Her obsessive, near delusional insistence that Jade loves her. Her breakdown from seeing the two of you together on that beach. Her malice towards you, perceived to be standing in the way of her love. Of her happiness.
“She wanted to be loved.”
She wrote a story where she could project herself onto a perfect, infallible main character. In this story, her favourite character would love and spoil her. They’d overcome trials and eventually live out their happily ever after, blissfully in love, even past the story she wrote. She wanted to be loved fully, completely, and unconditionally.
You feel a little sorry for her. But if you were to be honest . . .
“Why the fuck should I care?” You slam your hands on the coffee table, glaring at the man sitting across from you. Your hands curl into fists. “I don’t give a shit about her personal life. Jade and Floyd’s parents are in a coma. They’ve been worried sick. And that’s just fine? Because she wanted to live in her little fantasy of being loved? If I believe everything you say, then she’s the one who wrote that assassination into our lives. Without her, Mister and Missus Leech would be perfectly fine and running everything as usual. Jade and Floyd wouldn’t be missing sleep and meals. Jade could go study terrestrial plants and fungi like he’s always wanted instead of working himself to the bone for the mafia. You’re telling me I’m just supposed to accept it just because she’s got a sob story? And even worse, none of this would’ve happened without you.”
The assassination attempt is mentioned in the story as an offscreen event. In order for it to be true, the man across from you most likely manipulated events so that the attempt would be carried out. Just like he’s been doing for every event, all this time.
You want to lunge across the coffee table. You want to wrap your fingers around his thin throat, dig your thumbs into his carotid arteries, punch his nose in. But you don’t. You restrain yourself, your hands shaking on the table. With his abilities, he could easily make your life impossible.
“Fanfiction is fine. People can write what they want. But her fanfiction has very real consequences on my life and the people I care about. Why would you even help her knowing the harm she’s causing?”
Hypocrite, Floyd has once called you. That author is selfish in that she’s chasing her own happiness at the expense of what she considers minor characters. You’re selfish in that you’re ensuring happiness for yourself and your loved ones at the expense of the author, a stranger to you. You’d be a hypocrite for condemning her, but you don’t mind. You haven’t gotten this far by sacrificing yourself for strangers.
“Why, of course.” The man tilts his head as though it’s obvious. “No story can progress without conflict. You are a supporting character, as are the main male lead’s parents. Forgive me, but such characters are expendable for the purpose of the plot.”
It suddenly dawns on you. You should’ve realized sooner. This man doesn’t see you as a person. He only sees you as another character within a story, a particularly troublesome one who has messed up the plot beyond repair. You might wholeheartedly believe yourself to be a fleshed out human being with thoughts, feelings, and everything else, but he will always think of that as you being a character. His powers and knowledge of the world make him vastly different from you. He cannot talk to you on equal terms.
It’s like if an ant gained sentience and spoke to a human. Even with the ability to communicate perfectly, the ant would never be able to understand why humans enjoy roller coasters or haunted houses, no matter how much either side tries to explain. Similarly, you would never understand this man’s desire to turn stories that are destructive to “characters” into reality. So, you won’t try. You’ll work with his rules.
“I may have a solution to the derailed plot.” You look at him with determination quietly burning in your eyes. “It’s pretty simple if you can do it. Make me the main character.”
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absolutepokemontrash · 29 days ago
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Why do you care about American politics if you're Canadian? /gen
Note: I know this question was not asked in malice, so don’t take this as me being upset at the person who asked this.
I care about American politics because
1. My girlfriend is American, and they’re a queer person who falls under the trans umbrella in a time where it’s sometimes dangerous to be visibly queer in America. I care deeply for her safety, I care about her ability to pay for school, I care about her health while she lives in a country that basically EXTORTS people who are ill or injured, I care about her right to not have a religion that isn’t her own shoved down her throat and in her face at all hours of the day, I care about our ability to be seen and recognized in a country who’s Supreme Court walked back abortion rights and said they might try and do the same for gay marriage and a HOST of other shit, and I care about her ability to enjoy her fucking life and live as an independent adult in a country that is ridiculously expensive and inhospitable to people young and old just trying to get by.
2. I have friends who live in America. I’ve met some wonderful, truly amazing people through this absolute hellsite, and some of them are American. Now Canada isn’t a complete health paradise by any stretch of the imagination, but the fact that the majority of my American friends can’t get needed mental health interventions when they are really in danger, can’t get necessary cancer screenings so they can not die, and even stuff as simple as regular doctor’s visits even after working two jobs and going to college because they can’t afford it is disgusting.
3. America is a global superpower. America is constantly in the global spotlight, and like it or not, people from other countries absorb what it spews. I have a friend in the fucking Caribbean whose parents and grandparents parrot Trump and Republican talking points. Also, on the topic of being a global superpower, they’re also a global target. If the American president decides to… I don’t know… piss off another world leader who has access to nuclear weapons, my country is going to feel the impact of those bombs too, especially since many of our major cities are close to the border, and I’m sure I’ll be really upset about nuclear winter rolling in once I’m done mourning the deaths of my friends and family in the states because of a war they (innocent citizens) didn’t start :) I also have friends in Europe who are dangerously close to certain other superpowers who may be put in actual real danger if a war starts even if they aren’t directly involved!
4. Oh yeah, on the topic of war, I CARE ABOUT THE SHIT GOING ON IN THE MIDDLE EAST RIGHT NOW???? AMERICA IS FUNDING A GENOCIDE????? AND TRUMP WANTS ISRAEL TO “hurry up and finish the job”???? FUCK NO.
5. I care about global warming and climate change. You guys can see what Hurricane Helene did, right? Climate change fostered an environment that allowed that storm to get so big and so deadly. I also care about how California is like- perpetually on fire???? It shouldn’t be like that, guys.
6. Global trade. American trade policies are going to affect the prices of food, and other goods here in Canada, and I’m a university student with a part time job with some members of my family who can’t work, or who work over 40 hours a week who can barely afford to live right now, let alone after the prices of things get inflated more.
7. People are human beings. American citizens who are going to suffer under another republican presidency are human beings. The people in the Middle East who are dying right now are human beings. My friends and family who are affected by the actions of a country that isn’t even close to them right now are human beings. I can’t just artfully look away and think what my country’s next door neighbour is doing is okay.
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girlactionfigure · 2 months ago
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The “Villa in the Jungle” is Unsustainable.
Western elites would like to live in a society based on a derivative of Christian morality, even though most of them have left Christianity behind. They believe that all human beings must be given the same basic rights simply by virtue of being human. They hate violence but believe it should be treated with understanding, and criminal behavior with rehabilitation at best and isolation at worst. For them, revenge is an atavistic act that has no place in civilized society. Honor is something that one pays lip service to, but gaining or losing it has no real consequences. Religion is a private matter that must be subservient to secular authority. Government is based on consent. They aspire to a world run according to these principles, governed by impartial international law and democratic institutions to enforce it. They believe that these values are so obviously superior that social evolution will ultimately bring them to infuse the world, and that opposing ideologies are bound to disappear.
Until 7 October 2023 many Israelis shared this view. They understood that their neighbors did not, but believed that in the fullness of time, if Israel showed restraint and was prepared to compromise, they would see that peace was preferable to war and mutually beneficial.
But the idea of global social progress toward Western norms is a myth and always has been. October 7 was a massive shock to Israelis, an even stronger one than post-Oslo terrorism and the Second Intifada. And finally there seems to be the beginning of a change in consciousness here. The “conseptzia” that it was possible to buy off our enemies with promises of economic prosperity (a huge insult to them, by the way) has finally lost currency. The idea that only the ideologues of Hamas or the PLO want to destroy us, while the majority of “ordinary Palestinians” just desire economic and physical security, has exploded like their rockets and RPGs. Israelis are finally beginning to understand that it requires a different outlook to defend a villa in the jungle than a cottage in Switzerland.
Since before the beginning of the state, Jews here have understood that they live in the Middle East, not the Alps. Military preparedness has been a given. But now the average Israeli is coming to understand that a psychological or spiritual change is also needed. A post-Christian European morality is detrimental to survival here.
Just one example should make this clear. Israel is holding thousands of Palestinian terrorists in its prisons, many of them murderers and even mass murderers. Some of them are serving multiple life sentences. But our prisons try to meet international (i.e., post-Christian European) standards, and convicts are treated relatively well, allowed to govern themselves, given adequate food, and so on. Their families receive regular stipends from the Palestinian Authority, money which comes to the PA from various international donors, particularly the US (in violation of US law).
Most importantly, the “life sentences” last only until the next “prisoner exchange,” or rather, the next time Israel is extorted to trade terrorists for hostages. Both Ahlam Tamimi, the mastermind of the 2001 Sbarro Pizza bombing in which 15 Jews were murdered, and Yahya Sinwar, the architect of October 7, were released from prison in 2011, two among 1027 prisoners freed in exchange for one Israeli soldier, Gilad Shalit.
Any day now we are expecting that a similar, probably even larger, release of prisoners will be announced, in return for a few of the hostages in the hands of Hamas. Like a rupturing tumor that spreads its cancerous cells throughout the body, these creatures will flock to reconstitute Hamas and other terror groups throughout the land, rendering the sacrifices of our soldiers and police to apprehended them null and void.
To survive in the Middle East we have to be, in some ways, Middle Eastern. And Middle Easterners don’t suffer terrorist murderers to live, much less treat them kindly and release masses of them every few years.
Most ordinary Israelis get this now, and even a few of our politicians and generals. But most of the media, the legal and academic establishments, and a hard core of fanatics for whom deposing the Prime Minister is more important than the survival of the state, are still attending the moral garden party in the villa. The Israeli media especially are guilty of demanding a virtual surrender to Hamas in return for a handful of their hostages.
Most of the world, probably including the Western heads of state that publicly demand it, knows that this is stupid. The world, as a matter of fact, does not act according to the post-Christian moral system; the majority of UN members don’t even pay lip service to it. And yet, Israel is expected to be a “light unto nations” according to a foreign concept of morality espoused by countries like the USA, which has a third of a billion inhabitants and is protected from invasion by two oceans1.
Our approach must change. We can’t continue to be a “villa,” an isolated outpost of the West, but we must become part of the Middle East. I am not saying we should become like the Arabs, but there is a Jewish tradition that predates Hellenism and the diaspora that can serve as a model.
The ancient Hebrews fought the Canaanites without mercy. There was no possibility of a two-state solution; for one tribe to live here, the others had to go. When Amalek attacked the people of Israel on their way to their land, bribing them to stop murdering us was not considered. I would not argue that Israel should follow the Torah as a guide to action. It wouldn’t convince those who don’t believe, and those who do already agree with me.
But you could do worse if you are looking for advice about how to possess and occupy the Land of Israel, and how to deal with implacable enemies. ___________________________________ 1 But which is nevertheless being destroyed from within thanks to its adherence to these values.
Victor Rosenthal
Abu Yehuda
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skaldish · 1 year ago
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Could you expand upon your ideas around how Venerating a Deity doesn’t mean trying to embody what they represent? I was raised in a church that literally said the word “worship” meant “to try to become like”. So I’m fascinated by how you could worship a deity of a thing and not want to make more of that thing out in the world. I want to learn a new paradigm
Happy to! I love talking about paradigms.
Firstly…
Different religions and denominations conceptualize "worship" differently.
This includes "what you do to worship" but also includes ideas around "what gives worship its value."
"Trying to become like a deity" is something I've seen specifically associated with Evangelism and Fundamentalism (perhaps others, but this is what I know). It's derived from the idea that Christians are warriors of god and that it's their duty to act as his voice and hands on Earth. This is derivative of their doctrinal idea that they need to "save" people by any means necessary. (Teaching people to define who they are through God makes people dependent on God for a core sense of self, which is a huge reason why it's so psychologically awful to leave these denominations. It robs you of everything you are and leaves you with no way of creating yourself anew.
It's one thing to admire a deity and aspire to adopt some of their attributes as a point of personal growth; it's another altogether to teach people that they need to replace their inherent personality with a prescribed ideological construct. I loathe it entirely.)
Now, Catholics don't tend to interpret worship as the act of "trying to be like God." Given what I've observed and what I know of their ideology, worship for them is largely a function of sacrifice. You sacrifice your time, skills, wealth, etc. to God, because giving up things that are difficult to give up is how you show you really mean your devotion.
(I've seen this behavior in Heathens, actually, when they do things like buy top-shelf mead only to pour every last drop of it out on the ground for Odin or similar.)
I also take a lot of issues with this form of worship because I know why it exists: Extortion. The Church learned hundreds of years ago that guilt-tripping people out of their money (in exchange for salvation, an unfalsifiable concept that they neither had to prove nor procure) was an excellent way to get rich and powerful with impunity.
Clearly you caught me on a day I'm feeling extra-spicy towards Christianity. But I bring those two up in detail because I know a lot of my followers come from these backgrounds, and having more points of differentiation is important.
See, the real pitfall here lies in thinking that Christianity represents the "default" for how religions work, when in reality it's the grand exception, given all of human history.
The other religions I know about (with the exception of Judaism) are distinctly polytheistic: Shinto, Hinduism, Buddhism, and various flavors of Paganism. These all have different models of worship because they all have different, culturally-informed philosophies about how divinity works. Religions are inseparable from the cultures that create them for this reason, and why switching religions is a function of adopting a completely new mindset, not just a new set of gods to venerate.
Norse Heathen Worship
Since this is a Heathen blog I'm obligated to talk a bit about this.
How we worship as Norse Heathens is still a matter of debate, but that's because we're still figuring out how to define "worship" within the context of how it operates as a spirituality.
At no point did Norse Heathenry have a governing body, a religious figure, or a holy book to guide practice. Things developed organically, unique to their time-period and location, and stories were (and are) passed down via oral tradition rather than written down.
Many Heathens mistakenly think we're missing religious mandates, hence why they're so bent on trying to find them or devise them. I think this is a mistake.
A religion's architecture derives from the values, worldviews, and agendas of the culture/people behind it. The reason why a Christian's relationship with God looks like a Lord/servant dynamic is because the religion was shaped by lawmakers, and "loyalty towards the law" was a value they wanted to instill in the general population. Christianity was used to shape politics, so politics in turn shaped Christianity.
Norse Heathenry didn't have this function, so rather than reflecting political values, it reflects cultural ones. The stories are allegorical representations of cultural ideas, which themselves are based in the context of animism—the idea that everything operates as an ecosystem, and divinity is inseparable from that ecosystem.
This is all to say that the way Heathens worship is largely a byproduct of how they interface with that ecosystem. How this looks is something we choose based on what we find connection with, as opposed to mandates given to us.
Some people might find this kind of answer unsatisfying because it doesn't lead to any directive on "how to worship," but that might be because we're used to thinking of worship as a "duty," as opposed to what is actually, anthropologically is: A type of enrichment.
How I Worship
The way I go about worship is the same way I go about any kind of social bonding; through collaboration. In my mind, venerating deities is functionally identical to socializing with them, and like any socialization, how that's done varies from deity to deity. Anything I do in my practice—offerings, devotional art, etc—is informed by what I perceive them liking.
(Keep in mind I'm a hard polytheist, and I'm a hard polytheist because it's the only descriptor that could describe how I experience deities; as beings with autonomy divorced from my own will. A soft polytheist would conceptualize this entire thing differently.)
I also personally conceptualize "veneration" "devotion" and "worship" all differently, which is why you'll see me use the word "veneration" to describe what most people call "worship:"
Veneration is the general state of reverence or respect for something we hold spiritually important, such as a spirit, deity, or ancestor.
Devotion is a kind of enthusiastic dedication that emerges from love.
Worship is a ritual activity done as a gift for a god.
But this is just how I understand things for myself. They're not a reflection of how these things are thought of in Norse Heathenry. (In fact, they're mostly a product of the fact I initially learned about worship through observation, rather than experience. But I figured I'd bring it up anyway to provide an additional dimension to your paradigm explorations.)
I'm not sure what else to say so, uh…feel free to follow up with questions in case you want me to dive more into something.
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creature-wizard · 5 months ago
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The importance of separating belief from practice from economy when criticizing spirituality
I notice that a lot of people who want to criticize harmful expressions of spirituality often conflate the beliefs and practices of those spiritualities together, rather than separating them and asking themselves which one is harmful exactly, and why.
Sometimes, both practice and belief are harmful. For example, going on a highly restrictive detox diet because it will supposedly rid your body of toxins put into regular food by an evil conspiracy. There's no evidence that detox diets actually work as claimed (and if they seem to, it may be that you actually have a food allergy or intolerance, and you feel better because you happen to be cutting out that food for awhile), and they can actually be very harmful. Meanwhile, this sort of conspiratorial worldview has roots in old antisemitic conspiracy theories used to justify violence against Jews in the past, and today, justify queerphobia and ableism by way of suggesting that an evil conspiracy is putting chemicals in our food and water that turn kids gay, transgender, or give them ADHD, autism, or whathveyou.
But other times, it's not quite so simple. For example, let's look at modes of faith healing that hold that you should eschew evidence-based medicine in favor of praying and getting right with God. Meanwhile, studies show that people who rely on faith healing don't exactly have a great recovery rate. Many children have died from treatable diseases because their parents were taught that sickness was a test of faith and God would damn them for seeking conventional medicine. (Can you even imagine how terrified of eternal damnation you'd have to be in order to watch your own child die in agony?)
If we look at most people who believe in prayer, we can see that most of them don't agree with this extreme position. Most people believe in prayer and evidence-based medicine. If anything, prayer gives many people a way to feel like they aren't just sitting around doing nothing while their loved ones are in the hospital, and that itself is arguably beneficial.
Now, if you personally have trauma connected to prayer, or just don't find any meaning or satisfaction in prayer, then it's fine if you don't want to do it. But that doesn't mean it's appropriate to tell everyone else that they shouldn't do it. When you do this, you're just using your own personal feelings as a moral compass, and as we know from observing the "thinking about gay sex grosses me out, therefore it's unnatural and against God's will" crowd, that's no way to go.
So how about beliefs and practices used to extort people? For example, energy healing services often come with steep price tags. But let's be real, so does evidence-based medicine in places like the US. This clearly does not mean people should just stop seeking evidence-based medicine. It does means that we drastically need to change the system, so healthcare is more accessible. Additionally, if there's one thing I've learned from researching alternative medicine, it's that practitioners are more likely to actually offer something for patients' complains, rather than telling them that it's all in their heads or that they need to lose weight. This doesn't mean that an exploitative alternative industry should be allowed to exist, of course. But it does mean that we need to understand how prejudice among doctors fuels it. Moreover, I think we can agree that someone who watches energy healing videos on free YouTube after they've done all they can from an evidence-based medicine standpoint, or offers free energy healing sessions to friends who are in the same boat, are not in the same category as scam victims and scammers.
So yeah, when you're out there criticizing harmful forms of spirituality and religion, remember to separate practice from belief from economy and examine each one separately and in terms of how they connect to each other and to larger issues, rather than putting it all on blast together.
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acti-veg · 9 months ago
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You know. I often here about how "Indigenous people honor animals even when they kill them" and that... That doesn't really seem to be the experience I get when I join my community. Sure people do "care" for the animals that their survival depends but ultimately I feel like to take the life of a living being requires a level of objectification and detachment otherwise how can you do it without going literally crazy and tormented by guilt? While I don't like to judge my people whose sustenance comes from animal products I don't think I'd be able to raise an animal and then kill it. I have a cat pet and I can't imagine the though of any harm coming to them let alone to cause them harm. I keep thinking about how my grandma when she was little refused to eat the meat of a lamb she played with and got very attached to.
This is something that I've always found incredibly frustrating about online discourse on this topic. The idea that 'indigenous people' all think, or feel or behave a certain way as if they are some sort of homogenous group is absurd. Indigenous populations are as diverse a literally any other culture, two indigenous groups in two seperate continents may share very little, and two indigenous individuals even less.
Of course there is some level of shared identity between and within indigenous cultures and lots of common themes, animism and shamanism, a reverance for nature and a duty of care for it are common threads. But excluding animism, those are also common threads for all major world religions, perhaps not to the same extent, but that doesn't exactly guarantee good treatment for animals, and certainly not protection from exploitation or abuse.
This noble savage stereotype, while leftists may view it as a positive, is completely unhelpful and means we don't engage with the actual issues facing indigenous communities. Positive stereotypes obscure what the priorities and challenges of communities actually are, and just allows us to view people in overly simplistic terms for us in our media and our arguments.
Indigenous advocacy groups have been telling us about ranchers stealing their land, extorting, bullying and killing them for decades, much of which is to feed western demand, which is routinely ignored in discourse of this kind. Instead all they do is use indigenous people as pawns in their shitty anti-vegan arguments while not bothering to even learn anything about the cultures they're bringing up. Most of them got their ideas of what indigenous people are or aren't from clumsy stereotypes in film.
As with all groups they want to use in their arguments, they're not interesting in hearing about complex, multi-faceted stories or competing ideologies held within those groups. They just want a simple 'indigenous hunters honour the animal and use every part' so they can throw it at vegans while pretending we think that subsistence hunting communities are terrible people for killing animals. Unfortunately this isn't new, I've seen anti-vegans trot this one out with zero analysis or nuance for at least a decade.
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“God gave you free will so that you have the choice to either worship him or go to hell.”
-- Ricky Gervais
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willothewispwisteriadawn · 1 year ago
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Bunny Take: Why He’s the Most Unpopular
Honestly Bunny Corcoran is an example of “the crimes were fake, my annoyance was real” or jerks are worse than villains. Bunny is the least liked character among fans despite kind of overall doing the least wrong.
Readers are more detached from the concept of murder so being a murderer can be a cerebral character trait in fiction. But there’s a better understanding and closeness to someone attacking your race/identity/gender/religion that makes you less tolerant of fictional characters who do that.
I know this is perhaps a flawed look at this because, in context, the book is really complex. We do also see Bunny committing petty theft, extorting his friends for money, hiding a murder, and basically driving people to stress-induced illness. We can empathize with the rest of the class over that. But there’s also that Richard’s narration might be too nice on Henry/Camilla/Charles/Francis and too hard on Bunny (Richard brings this up himself). Richard wants to make Bunny’s murder more justified and his friends seem less psycho.
It’s tricky, but I do find it interesting how much more Bunny’s dialogue bothers readers than Henry killing 2 people then a dog then attempting to kill another person. And I do think it’s got to do with how we can feel personally insulted and annoyed through a text better than we can connect with the implications of murder.
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todaysjewishholiday · 4 months ago
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19 Sivan 5784 (24-25 June 2024)
The nineteenth of Sivan is the yahrzeit of the Moroccan rabbi Yehuda ibn Attar. The ibn Attars were a longstanding rabbinical family. Yehuda’s halakhic education combined the traditional North African halakhic approach that traced back to medieval Moroccan Jewish sages such as the Rif and the methods and rulings brought by Sephardi refugees from the Iberian peninsula.
By the age of 27, Yehuda had become a Rosh Yeshiva. By age 43 he was a judge in the rabbinical court of Fez and by 49 he was the Av Beit Din. But despite his rabbinical prominence, he kept up a consistent practice as a blacksmith and jeweler to earn his living, leaving his smithy each day after he’d earned enough to provide for his family’s needs and heading to the beit midrash to continue his studies. He argued that all rabbis should be familiar with the challenges other members of the community faced in earning a living and day to day manual labor.
Rabbi Yehuda guided his community through a period of significant antisemitic persecution from the Moroccan authorities. A significant portion of the community departed Fez for several years to avoid extortionate taxation on the basis of religion. The authorities also regularly imprisoned rabbinical leaders in order to extort a ransom for their release from the Jewish community. Communal legend holds that Yehudah ibn Attar was imprisoned in such a manner and thrown to the Sultan’s lions when the community didn’t bring the ransom funds quickly enough. As in the story of Daniel, they say that the lions were unwilling to go near the sage, and he was returned to his family unharmed.
After a long and productive life, he died at the age of 77 on the nineteenth of Sivan 5493. He is remembered as a humble and saintly teacher and both Jews and Muslims made pilgrimages to his grave for generations.
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spiderlegsmusic · 6 months ago
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Future generations will look back on this time period like we do the dark ages. Religion, in its death throes, is fighting to make a comeback in relevance by banning women’s healthcare because they want more babies born whose health and well being they won’t contribute to.
And fuck you if you were raped and molested by a stranger or family member resulting in pregnancy. Even if you’re 12. You have to carry your rape baby, especially in Texas where we lead the nation in rape babies doubling the next highest state.
Like we view the dark ages
We have a depraved degenerate piece of shit subhuman claiming to be ordained by god, confirming that yes, religion is bullshit and just a way to control the superstitious masses. If god existed, it would in no way want to be associated with trump and would actively distance itself.
The fact that that traitor insurrectionist piece of shit is allowed to run for president after trying to overthrow the govt by force (jan6), bureaucratically(fake electors scam), and by extortion (the Georgia find me more votes scam), is beyond me.
The whole country saw what he did. It’s just that republicans have gotten sick of losing elections so now they embrace fascism. They will support trumps authoritarian autocratic dictatorship because it means they won’t lose anymore elections.
And we will just let him.
See, this election isn’t Trump vs Biden. The democratic challenger could be a flaming bag of shit, it wouldn’t change the stakes. Every year, people say this election is so important and they’ve been wrong. But this year they are correct. This isn’t Trump vs Biden. It’s dictatorship vs democracy. Trump wins and he’ll crown himself king for life. Anyone who opposes him will be thrown in prison. Listen to his speeches, he says the quiet part out loud. Everyone in his campaign is saying trump’s next term will be all about retribution. RETRIBUTION against those who wouldn’t allow him to steal the last election.
There is no love, no goodness in Trump. He’s an asshole to everyone. He quotes Hitler and counts Putin, Kim, and the Hungarian dictator Orbàn as friends. He’s a scumbag using religion to solidify his cult status over the simpleminded racists who support him. He’s not a christian, he’s not friendly and he thinks Hitler did good things
Even if you hate Biden, it’s not him you are voting for by voting for him. You’re voting for a continuation of democracy, which may be battered by things like horrible Supreme Court rulings (citizens united, repealing Roe v Wade, corporate personhood) but it’s better than a Trump led dictatorship. Once democracy is gone, it’s never coming back without war and death. Is this what you want? Do you think you will survive bombs hitting your neighborhood, your apartment building? Ask people in Ukraine what that’s like.
It’s not Biden vs Trump. It’s dictatorship vs democracy. It’s black and white, no shades of gray. If trump wins, you will never vote in a meaningful election again. And if you or anyone you know complains, they will disappear. Those who don’t remember history are doomed to repeat it. And history is repeating itself. Hitler won by one vote. Trump won in 2016 despite getting fewer votes because of the electoral college. And if he loses again, he’ll pull the same shit as in 2020, but more forceful.
Keep trump out of the White House.
For fucks sake!
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heathersdesk · 9 months ago
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So like many people on the Internet, I watched that Katt Williams interview with Shannon Sharpe where he talked about how Hollywood runs on an underground economy of sexual coercion and rape in exchange for success. Then he named every name in black comedy of people who have done him wrong because they lie about themselves/won't keep his name out of their mouths. It's such a trip to see someone so dedicated to radical honesty, and how Shannon Sharpe became the audience insert for the ongoing reaction of "Can he just tell the truth like this?!"
As someone who is honest to a fault, I know that face. There are few things people hate more than the truth. Being a truth teller is a hard thing to be unless you're really comfortable with being alone. People who are deeply uncomfortable with their relationship with the truth (and that's most people) can't stand having an honest person anywhere near them because that person becomes a mirror for all the things they don't like about themselves. The only thing they have to offer (and the only thing they have to withhold) from an honest person is their respect. And the respect of a false person has no value, so there is no great loss. It's like being extorted by someone who was only ever going to pay you in Monopoly money, and they really hate when you can see right through it. Why would I lose sleep over losing a relationship with someone who has absolutely nothing that I want?
I've carried myself that way my entire life. It never gets easier. And part of why I enjoy Katt Williams as a person is because he's like that. To someone who has spent my entire life feeling like Cassandra, seeing someone who embodies the spirit of Diogenes is a breath of fresh air.
I had no idea Katt Williams was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, and that even though he no longer identifies with that religion, he's still a person of profound faith. It has influenced his career in a lot of ways I never would've guessed and I really enjoyed hearing him talk about it.
Near the end, Shannon asked him a question that will stay with me for the rest of my life because of what the answer was.
He asked how Katt Williams has the ability to have the vindictive ways other people try to hurt him just roll right off of him, and bounce back from that stronger and more successful than ever.
Without hesitation, Katt Williams said that "trampoline skin is something only God can give you."
The thing I was most unprepared for about adulthood is how many miserable people there would be whose sole ambition is to see people suffer, and how many of them seek out me and mine specifically because (in person, at least) I try to be kind and peaceful in everything I do. They mistake kindness for weakness and patience for stupidity. I've had to learn to refuse to be a doormat to anyone. And when that's a choice you make, there will never be a shortage of people who will try to be the one to take you down, simply because you won't be the dumpster for all of their garbage.
My husband and I are dealing with such a person right now. She is personally trying to destroy everything we have built here, solely because my husband is her supervisor and he won't tolerate her being a disrespectful bully anymore. He stepped up and told the truth. And we're days away from finding out if her ability to start rumors and cause trouble is going to cost my husband his job. And the terror that prospect can cause me, as someone who escaped poverty, is something only those who have also escaped poverty can understand. The fear of sliding back into that hole that, by design, no one is supposed to ever get out from.
No matter what happens, I can bounce back from this. I can come out ahead. The very ways that people try to hurt me can be the path to my success. That trampoline skin is something God has given me in the past and it's something I can pray for now. I can pray for it anytime I need it. And I can trust it to be there when people who thrive on giving into their worst instincts try to steal my peace.
They can only have my peace of mind if I give it to them, and that's a part I can stop giving to other people any time I want.
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drgamenstein · 1 year ago
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So, going back to some of my older posts about character and setting TTRPGs let's talk about Vampire: the Masquerade. Here's real quick, a fun or stupid way to play each of the 13 clans. First though, if anyone somehow finds this who isn't familiar with the VtM lore, I'll offer a bastardized version of the disclaimer the core rulebook does; there's no such thing as a morally good PC in this game, you're going to be playing as a killer, stalker, monster, however you want to put it. Vampires are monstrous reflections of humanity, and as such can emphasize certain traits that are seen as distasteful or wrong. This isn't an excuse to be an overt and openly bigoted asshole at the table, and no GM or player should ever tolerate real world hate speech at the table when speaking OoC. We cool? Cool.
Ventrue: a new age shop owner, who sells homemade essential oils, skin care products and crystals that mark potential targets for siring based on the virtues each clan upholds. They're cursed blood makes them obsessed with very specific scents, meaning they can't feed on someone unless they're wearing something that makes them smell appealing.
Toreador: a plastic surgeon, who's idea of beauty is the imperfection of the human form. They run a budget clinic and are able to avoid losing their license due to malpractice, because they have a close personal bond with the Nosferatu, and love to skincraft them into an appearance that while still leaving them deformed, could pass as injuries or illnesses, making them less likely to violate the Masquerade. These favors give them connections to blackmail and extort anyone, enough that they can hire a Ventrue lawyer to protect them.
Gangrel: a Pational Park Ranger, who may or may not have connections to many, MANY missing 411 cases. They hold a position of neutrality between almost every faction, by upholding the laws of the Camarilla, by keeping the masquerade intact, while simultaniously cultivating their own open-air human meat restaurant. A safe place for werewolves, and other kindred to engage in their most animalistic urges, without fear of leaving evidence behind.
Malkavian: an autistic dark web information broker, that somehow knows what their customers want long before they even make contact. They have a habit of logging every email, password or other piece of identifying information that pops into their head. Breaking the fourth wall, the player could improve this by listening to business, economics or true crime podcasts during sessions, and talking as if it's a conversation they're having to what's going on at that point in game.
Tremere: a character who wants to form their own autonomous enclave, separate from any form of government be it human or kindred based. This wilderness commune is under constant surveillance by several human law enforcement agencies, and is publicly recognized as a cult, though they are petitioning to be recognized as a religion. They sire high ranking members of their organization, only after several years of indoctrination, at which point the Frog has boiled over and been reduced to a fine broth. The appeal of the cult to outsiders are the opportunity for travel, under the guise of medical and disaster relief efforts. All members are also frequently asked to donate blood for "those in need." Internally they don't believe in any religion, the player could make the argument that Kain wasn't cursed by God, but instead was the first evolutionary offshoot from mankind, and they internally view each vampire clan as related in much the same way as humans are related to other apes. This internalized vampirism racism while a massive negative trait, is effectively used by studying each and every clan solely for the purpose of learning how best to manipulate them.
Bruja: (this one's shorter than all the rest) During life they were a decorated cold war era military veteran, who was honorably discharged with injuries after certain government experiments. After their siring they have dedicated their un-life to spreading good old fashioned western values to the oppressed and impoverished parts of the world as a PMC.
Nosferatu: since almost every nosferatu have the same MO, preferred hiding spots and methods of travel, I think this clan is best defined by they're personality and view of the world. The owner of an Incel forum, who uses it both to unironically post their own thoughts and feelings, but to gather info from their users about all the Chads and Staceys in need of some punishment for their arrogance. They also frequently browse social media, and may or may not be responsible for at least a few throwaway accounts responsible for doxxing public figures. They are an absolute bitch for drama, and spend their downtime binging tea channels and Beauty-tubers but can't see the irony of this hobby.
Lasombre: an old fashioned head of a boston mafia group. He's made a fortune exploiting the working class and extorting the needy for decades, and running a successful shipyard and fishing company. His preferred targets for siring are dock workers, and local gang members that he sees as either beneficial to his criminal empire, or someone that his enemies would hate to lose. He has a unique point of view among most of the kindred, in that he doesn't discriminate among humans, Vampires or oan of the other creatures and organizations around him. They're all of equal value in his eyes, that value being equivalent to a character pip from the Game of Life, meaning tiny l, worthless bits of plastic, that take up space and are only worthy of notice when they directly impact him. His closest friend is actually a human butler, that picks out his clothes, make sure he's in proper order, and takes care of him. He will never sire this friend, as they are fully aware of his true nature and have asked him kindly to not do so. This blatant violation of the masquerade is barely tolerated as an open secret, since covering this particular leak would cause more trouble than just leaving it alone.
Tzimisce: a geneticist, who's network has a hand in every animal centric organization in the world, whether it's pet care, breeding, meat production, pageantry, racing, or law enforcement training, they can somehow be linked to it. They are fascinated by genealogy and genetics, obsessed with the true history of the world and want to prove the lineage of every clan and bloodline, simply for the satisfaction of having that knowledge. They were a successful dog breeder in life and now may or may not be practicing human and clan breeding in secret. They have a strange fascination with the Caitiff, and are regularly observed by many, acting friendly with these undesirables. They have a genuine love for animals, and would never harm any of their precious creatures, but see humans as lower than scum, utterly disgusting parasites hellbent on destroying their precious mother nature. They have no desire to sire an heir, unless eventually forced to do so, have no feelings whatsoever toward the idea of harming humans, seeing their acts as mundane or even justified, and this hatred goes so far that they frequently push themselves to the brink of frenzy just to avoid drinking from these vile creatures. Before their embrace, they had a pet dog that they loved more than anything in the world, but sadly killed during their first frenzy. They keep their friends collar on them at all times, despite the guilt they feel, it's the only thing that gives them comfort and let's them sleep at night.
Hecata: (I thought of this as an experienced player, or storyteller's PC) an elderly person, though not ancient. A member of a long lived and wealthy family dating back possibly to the Methusala. A family man, with an actual family, they sired before their embrace, with the knowledge that they will one day need to make arrangements for their children to be embraced. You take on the role of a mentor figure, teaching them the ways of the kindred, necromancy, and hunting, but are planning to, at the end of their training, have more promising of your spawn, diablerize the other.
Banu Haqim: a vigilante serial killer, think Vampire Punisher, or Dexter. Seeking out rogue kindred who've strayed from their respective code, regardless I'd they're Camarilla, Sabatt, or Anarch. The kindred you hunt are blatant violators of the masquerade and do so without even the little bit of control the Sabatt has over its members. More than anything, they are the biggest threats to kindred society as a whole and expose us all to the threat of human exposure. They are the perfect target for one such as yourself, both as self-proclaimed peacekeepers, and to satiate your own clans curse. It's your solemn duty to ensure that no evidence of kindred society is left behind.
Ravnos: a backpacker, spelunker and base jumper. They are a very popular Social Media personality and travel vlogger that enjoys documenting cave exploration and nighttime adventures into the wilderness. They know all the best tourist spots, what every kind of human blood tastes like, and won't shut the hell up about how they need to take you to Venice to try genuine Venican blood fresh from the source. They have a lot of annoying habits, and frequently humble brag about their enlightened un-life, but are generally good company and easy to get along with. You still wouldn't call them a friend though. They're the type of person that always sleeps over when they visit, but you can never remember them specifically asking if they could crash on your couch.
Ministry: You are a bio-terrorist. After your embrace, you took an interest in medical sciences for all the wrong reasons. Fascinated with your new undeath, and immunity to human illness, you start to question the limits of your new undead body, and decide to push it to new limits, concocting plagues, viruses and diseases and testing them on unsuspecting vampire populations. Occasionally, maybe, sure, some human populations get sick as well, pandemics, happen, and hundreds of thousands die each time you conduct a test, but that's the price of good science.
Caitiff: literally just don't play Caitiff. It's hard to come up with a creative or unique story for this "Clan" since they are effectively nobodies. The best comparison to be made I guess would be that Caitiff are the vampire equivalent of that weird conspiracy theorist who works in retail, has a substance abuse problem and is constantly trying to get you and all his other "work buds" to rise up and unionize against the man, but doesn't have an actual plan or any understanding on how any of that works.
Thin-bloods: Why is this a clan we can pick? Who is picking this one? Don't do it.
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seravphs · 2 years ago
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ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — HAWKS x READER 
There’s a beautiful boy in your church and he’s asking for forgiveness. 
wc — 1k
tags — hawks and his catholic guilt complex, church maid/daughter of the local priest reader, religion, title from Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
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Is it rude to tell someone they don’t get confession? 
Well, in the first place, it’s not like confession is something that can be got. Confession is…confession. It’s just what it is, but it’s not what it’s not, and what it’s not is whatever the pretty blonde boy is doing in the confessional. He comes in and tries to flay himself alive on the altar of self sacrifice, which is decidedly not in your father’s teachings. 
There’s a reason your brother got sent to the seminary and your parents made you the church maid (church mouse, more like, your brother teases). You’re in your head too much, talking to yourself about your daydreams, but painfully quiet when addressed. 
For all your faults, however, you’re observant. 
Because you’re quiet and soft spoken, people overlook you. The church grandmothers pinch your cheek and call you ‘such a good child’, only to whisper their concerns about your inability to find a husband behind your back. You know they’re only gossiping out of concern, but still. You’ve got time! What’s wrong with being an old spinster, anyways? At least you would never have to ask a man for money if you were self-sufficient. 
You’re not worried. If anything goes wrong, you can extort all the churchgoers with what you know (that was a joke). But what else are you supposed to do with all this information? You’re holding everybody’s secrets and it’s eating you up inside. You’re worried that any time you open your mouth, they might just spill out of you, like the fairy tales about the girl who could only speak in jewels. 
Maybe you need to go to confession. 
Someone beat you to it. 
You can’t see him inside, of course, or what would be the point of a confessional? But you can tell from the minuscule details, as you always have. The sunlight from the large windows have trails of dust motes floating through them, shining on the light marks left behind by expensive dress shoes. The air smells like honey and oranges, cologne that no one else in this town could afford to commission. The single blonde strand of hair (that man shed like a dog, honestly) on the floor tied it altogether. 
Hawks was here. 
Quietly, surreptitiously, you try to sneak off. He’s doing his thing, and you don’t want to disturb him. As nice as it is to hear the soft rumble of his voice smooth over the words of his prayer, you don’t want to eavesdrop. You felt bad enough the first few times you did it and realized how tortured he was. 
Hawks was the most desirable bachelor in the town. He had been adopted by the mayor when he was just an infant and raised to be the perfect successor. He was never anywhere short of the golden boy he had been taught to be, always polite, always the gentleman. You like him well enough, of course. Like everyone else, you couldn’t help but be charmed by him. He just had that aura to him, a sort of call for love that made him irresistible. It was like the beauty of a clear spring day or the sweetness of a newborn puppy - you couldn’t help but adore it. It was only natural.
Still, there was a lack of authenticity that made Hawks distant. He was wealthy, powerful, and well-read, it was true, but more than that, it seemed like there was a glass partition between him and the rest of the world. 
You didn’t think it was all a facade. It was impossible to be as kind as Hawks was and have it all be fake, but you didn’t think it was all real, either. It was like watching a doll rather than a human, simply eerie to witness such perfection and know that some of it must be manufactured. 
Just as you’re about to escape the room, you’re too lost in your thoughts about Hawks to hear the door swing open. 
He sees you. 
“Hello there.” 
You resist the urge to squeak (you are not a mouse, you argue with your brother in your head). 
Run or stay? Fight or flight? Go or stand your ground? 
While you’re deliberating, he’s already caught up to you. 
“The priest’s daughter, right?” he smiles. “It’s good to see you again.” 
You’re a little stunned by his admission even though you shouldn’t be. Hawks is perfect, it makes sense his memory is as well. You try to convince yourself it’s nothing personal, that it’s just part of his upbringing when you ask, “You remember me?” 
“Of course I remember you,” he says. “You were the one who left me the poem, didn’t you? By the Oliver girl?”
You had. 
It was after you had caught him at confession. You hadn’t meant to. It was just-
It had been hours, he was still in there, and you needed to clean.
Hawks had a peculiar way of praying. He knelt down, head pressed firmly to the ground, and prayed like he was begging. It was as if he thought he needed to suffer to get what he wanted - to deserve what he wanted. You caught snippets of prayers on your rounds every hour or so, checking to see if he had left yet. Sometimes, all he was asking for was the right to live. To be made worthy of the gift he had been given, and yet the one he felt he did not deserve. 
But Hawks was a good boy. You knew this. Everyone knew this. You were surprised he didn’t. 
In a moment of sympathy that had been startled out of you by the force of his prayer, or just simple compassion that the Lord had charged you to have for every human being, something had compelled you to slip the poem you had stolen out of your brother’s books into the side pocket of his bag. Then you ushered him out. 
It hadn’t meant anything, really. You were surprised he even found it. 
“Did you like it?” You ask, lamely, with nothing else to say, grasping for topics of conversation. 
Something about his smile seems different from usual. Softer around the edges, eyes crinkled in a way that’s likely to give him premature wrinkles. “It was a kind thing to do. Thank you.” 
Perhaps it’s because he’s so good, but something about Hawks makes you give way to impulsivity. You want to take care of him. It’s like looking at a soaked kitten left on the side of the street, except Hawks is inconceivably more privileged, and yet- 
Something about him seems in need of spoiling. 
It’s that urge that makes you stumble over your next words, struggling to get them out. “I’m not a priest but you’re always welcome! I mean, of course, the church is always open to everyone. You know what I mean!”
“I do,” he laughs. “Thank you. Really. I have a gift for you, if you wouldn’t mind?”
“Oh-“ you’re pleased against your will. He’s so good. At making you love him, at everything. “You don’t have to.”
“Please. I want to. Will you wait to open it until I leave? I’m a little nervous to see your reaction.” 
Now you’re nervous, but you doubt that he would give you anything dangerous. When the door swings closed, you unwrap the beautifully wrapped package he pressed into your palm. It’s a sturdy tube lined with jewel toned velvet. When you pull off the lid and turn it upside down, neatly folded paper cascades into your hand. 
A letter?
(A confession?)
A poem. 
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