#she's just out with her gf again!!!
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shoot to win
#artists on tumblr#rakshasa#she's just out with her gf again!!!#someone requested rakshasha at the carnival and I had to oblige#Thanks for the suggestion btw
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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it is, frankly, criminal that no one has really gone into detail about what would happen in the imposter au if only the archons knew who you were..like, makes sense!! because they are archons, those closest to celestia. but the implications of an archon, who are usually very protective of their nations, having to fight them to protect the Creator because no one else sees you for who you are?? thats the good shit
like the difference of how archons who pretend to be normal people (zhongli + venti) would handle it vs archons who still directly rule over their nations (nahida, ei, tsaritsa) is *chefs kiss*
#sagau#genshin sagau#genshin impact sagau#sagau imposter au#zhongli#ei#venti#nahida#tsaritsa#did i write this just to psychoanalyze the tsaritsa again??? maybe#but i want 2 talk abt ei first bc. ma'am#unarguably the safest with ei. definitely one of the strongest (currently. we dont know abt previously) archons.#+ its. yknow. ei. miko would probably believe her scatterbrained gf and help you at least somewhat#but everyone knows the shogun. they know how strong she is. she'll have no trouble taking out any combatants who try to harm you#i mean sara got beat up by signora. she wouldnt really stand much of a chance against ei. but she might also be persuaded bc. well#shes still loyal to the shogun. it would take some EFFORT but you could maybe turn her to your side.#BUT THE TSARITSA......lordy#we dont have an accurate measure of her power but all it would take is just yoinking the gnosi and fucking off w you in tow#like harbinger or not its. the tsaritsa. with a bunch of gnosis.#shes going to punt each and every one of them like footballs into the afterlife#but its abt the DRAMA. shes suddenly lost everything shes worked so hard to build......just bc you popped down to teyvat for..what??#fun???? just to watch her suffer??????#she is not Nice but she isnt. that mean. shes just bitter and a little pissed that her harbingers kinda made her abandon her own NATION#bc they have rocks for brain apparently. shes firing every single one of them when its all over#i just think its funny making the one character directly against Celestia have to take care of a dumbass g-d after fleeing her own nation#all bc you just had to descend to teyvat (she is ignoring that u got eebied there against your will. give her a week okay)#tsaritsa having the worst time of her life babysitting her g-d whos too gay for their own good (stop running at the acolytes)#also i think zhongli's reaction would be funny bc he JUST got done handing liyue to the people......and now their hunting the creator#hes too old for this. he just wanted a nice retirement after being an archon for too damn long.#LET THE MAN REST
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trying to keep all my clemviminnie thoughts contained until i get to episode 3 but
its hard
#telltale was CRAZY for this btw!! the drama of it all ALWAYS gets me#violet blaming herself for her gf/minnies death. clem helps her open up again. starts dating clem. finds out minnie is still alive?#saved violet telling clem she has nothing to worry about and she'll fight minnie if she has to to keep clem and her loved ones safe#kidnapped violet getting brain poisoned by minnie into turning against clem after feeling betrayed and abandoned by her#saved vi shooting minnie to save clem!!!!!!!!! but cant leave minnie behind because she already left her once and she cant do it again#vi begging minnie to stop trying to fucking kill them but shes too far gone. the 3 of them fight to the DEATH!!!#now add all that to the parallels and dark mirrors going on between clem and minnie in the A plot like the tension is off the charts#plus the parallels you can draw between clem and vi but those are less “you are my dark mirror” and more “we are the same i understand you”#HOW are the girlies not still talking about this#you know what i partially blame myself i dont talk about it enough either. i forget how many things ive left in my wips folder sometimes#UGH its all so good violets route just ads so much Flavor to the clem/minnie plotline its Delicious i couldnt imagine it Not being there#i neeeeeeeed to draw them fighting and being gay and maybe bloody even#if u cant tell i really want to get back to that wip i posted a few weeks ago but im Trying to Restrain Myself#i love forcing myself to take things slow sometimes really makes the brain shift into overdrive#twdg#violentine#it speaks
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Watched "Into the Unknown" again for no particular reason whatsoever, and besides being the highlight of a movie that was meddled into absolute disappointment, I was struck by the genius of this shot as I watched Elsa run toward the edge of the cliff and remembered, "Oh, right, she stops at the edge and reaches out."
But no.
The movie is BETTER THAN THAT and has her make an extension out of ice, showing that Elsa's capable of pushing herself farther than the boundaries nature set for her, and that she's willing to go the extra distance to solve this mystery (which apparently the writers themselves didn't even have solved at the time).
It's just Good Animation. No one else is gonna do that. Every other character is going to stop where the cliff says "stop", but Elsa has MAGIC and she USES IT.
#this isn't meant to be an attack this is just me loving Elsa's character#and hoping that they use her for the next two movies#again...she can be in an action film if she wants#Frozen: War Arc#it can happen#seriously#might be good#show some horrors of war#also please give her a gf listening to the song reminded me that Gay Elsa is not only on the table she's already On the Board#''I'm of course it turned out to be her MOM#which was okay but also kinda eh#this movie was a MESS#but it was good#coulda been Great#but it was just good#Frozen original was Great though and Wish definitely cemented that status#but we need some ROMANTIC TENSION back in these films come on
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You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Kayako#And Teisel's there technically#*Die again - he's sticking with his track record lol at least he's consistent#Ghost/Curse GF arc!! I enjoy seeing ZEX happy but I am Concerned for him lol#ZEX be attracted to something/one that won't brutally murder him challenge - difficulty impossible#His affection for the grotesque and monstrous - I mean while it's admirable he does regularly put himself in dangerous situations!#Runs solely on the Suspension Bridge Effect lol - attraction and fear so conflated in his mind <3#I keep thinking of his human instincts as specifically Max's instincts since it's his body - Max's self-preservation and fear and hunger#Which ZEX dutifully ignores lol Max's body tells him to bolt and privately replies like ''Yes yes in a moment'' haha#His fascination wins out! To his own detriment haha#Although I say all that as though I don't relate in my own way - I have maybe just a few too many notes relating to ZEX lol#It's always been hard for me to get into horror in the way it's intended to spook and scare because I tend to get sad :')#So many monsters and ghosts and creatures are victims of circumstance! Like Kayako! As she is here she's not even malicious just dangerous#I've never seen the Grudge so it's only speculation but it seems very sad that she was tethered as a Curse rather than a malignant spirit#Like a battery moreso than an individual - what a terrible after-existence! It makes me sad to consider!#ZEX reaching out to her in his own way is very sweet <3 He's so biased towards his darlings hehe#In a way being human does suit him - we'll packbond with anything that Might have even the slightest inclination to not maim us lol#And the way he personifies her! (VUXonifies her?) Reading intention or emotion into her actions with no proof and no understanding!#The way he ''tries to read her face'' as if he hasn't been struggling with that this entire time - with other humans who can tell him so ♪#His pride is so delicious <3 He is so easily blinded to his own shortcomings in the face of pleasure and the potential for connection!#It's no wonder DAX worries about him so much hehe ♥#It also always makes me so happy to have something fit together so perfectly like those last two hehe <3#That vine didn't exist when this happened! But there it is!! I love newer memes on older media hehehe ♪♫
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I'm making the RiverClan Trio (Minnowtail, Rippletail, and Beetlewhisker) antagonist-adjacent in my AU, for petty stuff in Po3 and for actual horrors in OotS, and while talking to Vio I got the cursed idea that they're like those anti rivals you see in kids superhero shows that parallel the protags in power and personality and maybe appearance (think the Rowdyruff Boys from PPG) and now I wanna lean into that. Make Po3 basically just an episodic superhero kids show parody. Go all out with it's ridiculous premise
#and its kinda shallow on the surface parallels at first that get further fleshed out in oots as the kids become adults#like. beetlepaw and lionpaw are the brawn. the tough guys. ripplepaw and jaypaw are the sarcastic mean guys#hollypaw and minnowpaw are the smart and calculated Girls. actually wanna make minnowpaw a mean girl#mousewhisker and his evil supervillain riverclan gf (hes just a guy)#and in oots again its more fleshed out. like hollyleaf is vigilant about the code and has a mental breakdown over it#while minnowtail thinks shes above all of the rules and starclan itself so her being halfclan doesnt matter to her#but she does go through a redemption as her family is picked off. by the end of oots its just her and her mom icewing. :(#idk what she'll do past that yet but she and hollyleaf end up in opposite spots where hollyleaf left a hole in her family#while minnow got better but was the last one standing. she has nothing now#except her mom but she cant understand her loneliness.#razorverse
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For those of you who have sidesteps who will (hopefully) receive a happy ending, will your sidestep go back to fighting crime or not? What’s their plan?
#Orellia would not go out of her way to fight crime again#if she was feeling particularly energetic she might actively go out looking for a fight but otherwise#she would be content to just scavenge around the city and have a warm home to go back too#she would definitely be Julia’s stay at home gf cause heaven knows she wouldn’t be able to keep a job down
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as i’m procrastinating some designs for the main players in diane’s dimension, here are some of her inter-dimensional gaggle of children!
around 6 years into her time as a dimensional traveler, diane set up a rest stop of sorts (that became her home) at the outskirts of the nightmare dimension for anyone who finds themselves suddenly forced out of their home dimension, or in urgent need of supplies
however, whenever a child finds themselves in that position, diane takes it upon herself to watch after and take care of them, even refusing to take bounties unless absolutely necessary, until they are old enough to decide for themselves if they want to stay or leave - these three are the ones who choose to stay
furthest left is Hg80, from a dimension where people are made out of elements from the periodic table (diane’s nickname for them is hattie)
in the middle is charlie simmons, an outcast from the finger dimension after being born with syndactyly (hence why he wears gloves)
and furthest right is velquus caballissi, from a dimension where the most intelligent species are dinosaur-horse-bug-adjacent, and who fell into the nightmare realm just after hatching
#nell's void#gravity falls#gravity falls oc#gf oc#gravity falls ocs#oc: hg80 aka hattie#oc: charlie simmons#oc: velquus caballissi#verse: drinking in the warm sunshine#digital art#digital illustration#artists on tumblr#i feel it’s important for you to know that velquus’ head can spin 360 degrees#also velquus’ eyes change color based on her emotions#also also hg80 is made out of mercury#and turns into a liquid when they're scared#they’re all so silly and baby#diane is such a great mother to her alien children#i kinda just drew them cause i wanted to get my creativity juices flowing again#but also cause they mean a lot to diane#and are an important part of why she both doesn’t kill ford and lets him stay as long as she does#cause the three of them grow very attached to him very quickly#and so she reluctantly lets him stay after they beg her (they asked once and she folded immediately)
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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mutuals. i am getting caught in my own bitterness again...
#ill vent because this is basically my bedroom#my younger older brother is caught up in that phase of romantic love when nothing else matter but girlfriend#thats fine i guess it happens#the thing is he forgot about my birthday and i was sad. then he remembered that he forgot and called and said#heyyy lemme make it up to you. lets go grab dinner this weekend (last weekend)#he forgot he even said me and went wine tasting with his gf. so now im double sad AND pissed because#i said no to my friends who actually wanted to see me because i was under the assumption that we were going out#so i sent him a passive aggressive message like heyy dinner was great thx for that xd and he was like what dinner??#long story short he realized he fucked up again and invited me to dinner for realsies this time#but like. he isnt really inviting me? he and my niece were going to a kiddy place he promised he would take her and said i could tag along#i told him i realize now he just invited that to save face and to forget about it#but now im even sadder cuz i love my niece and she is always happy to see me... i just feel like im stupid or something#theyre going tomorrow and im debating on whether i should swallow my pride and go for her#i probably wont#im still not over it#anyway whatever i got work to do
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i think its funny that in good omens some 11 year old swearing technically did more in stopping Armageddon successfully than the demon and angel main characters who spent the entire series trying to stop the end of the world. like girl, they didn't even get trialed for saving the earth, they got put on trial for being gay with each other really
#and they still take credit for it omg#“how nice... for someone to finally recognize our part in saving the-”#aziraphale.. im so sorry.. no y'all did not...#she just wanted recognition oh my sweet girl#like they babysat the wrong kid#and then they couldnt find the antichrist#all they did was break up like 5 times and they kept falling in love with eachother like wow#they literally just gave the antichrist a pep talk after trying to kill him#like “u got this adam!” AND THEY ONLY PUT IN THE EFFORT FOR THAT BECAUSE CROWLEY DIDNT WANT TO LOSE HER GF#crowley wehn the end of the world and everybody fucking dies: :/ lol theres nothing we can do you guys#crowley when “or... i'll never talk to you again...”: *stops fucking time so that she and bae can 90's-style pep talk the shit out of adam*#in good omens if it hadnt been for aziracrow the antichrist wouldve been kinda shy talking to his satan dad causing the world to end#its funny how crow and azira just kinda watched those small children kill the 4 horsemen and then crow had the gall to “have a gold star 🙄”#like they were so useless....#joke post/// but im honestly so serious about this#i still love them though#its just kind of silly to me in an endearing way
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Trying so bad to cope with the fact that it wouldn't matter if I found a nice girlfriend and who would possibly become my long term (hopefully lifelong) partner it would... it would still be obfuscated by the fact I can't at the moment (if not ever) come out to my family
#Like dont get me wrong I STILL want to be in a relationship despite this#But my cousin is literally 18 and he has a gf. And you know. He gets to talk about her at family gatherings#Everyone is saying how cute they are etc etc#Nobody is mocking them#I would kill to be able to just come home and happily tell my parents I have a gf now.#My mother knows but pretends that she doesnt. Told me she will not talk about if to anyone in the family#And that I shouldnt tell ANYONE EVER#And basically that I deserve to be bullied and mocked :)#I was fucking 14#Not to be dramatic but I felt like I lost my mother that day#And even worse#If I can't even trust my own mother#Then who can I trust?#Life is hell#Cant even rant to anyone about this because Ill be mocked or fucking outed against my will again#L. log
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moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again
#she keeps mimicking how ive been living and now that ive been sliding back and restricting again due to stress#she's been body checking around me more talking about how much she works out how 'toned' she looks#and dishing up smaller portions than me only eating half and then saying 'oh i'm so full...marie#if you can't finish yours just throw the rest out...'#she had her friend over yesterday and the poor woman made the mistake of confiding in my mother and i about her ed#and i gave her some advice for recovery & let her know that anorexia is hard to tackle esp when you're taking care of someone else at the#same time but its doable..and she was asking about what i do when i relapse#and obv i didnt go into detail so as not to like. give any ideas. but it was nice to have someone Nice to relate to on that front#immediately my mom jumps in with 'oh i restrict too! thats what i do! i go days without eating and count my calories.#marie doesnt work out like i do because their therapist said not to..but i work out so i can stay toned and confident.' like no you dont#it hurts me that shes doing this shit to herself but i know shes doing it in front of me to feel superior because she Always Has#its CYCLICAL with her. as soon as my gf left the mask came back off and she was right back to the mama i know#using MY CLOTHES to body check using MY MIRROR infront of me i feel insane.#like i told her i feel disgusting because i gained two pounds and im at 114 now and she immediately started talking about her weight and#that we need to stop buying 'junk food'#MOMM....OH MY GOOOD...#whatever whatever . i'll get over it in a few mins im just pissy in general and i feel like i live with a 15 yr old sometimes.#ed ment#i will say it uswd to be worse when she wasnt in therapy n shit but hhghhthtnf even my dad who is Never Home has picked up pn it and has#started checking her and telling her to keep it between yhem bc i dont. i canr handle that rn dude
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I've been thinking about changing my name for a while, and my amazing qpp helped talk me into trying out a name for a test run! So, for right now, I'm gonna go by Nix!
#me talking#name change#nonbinary#trans#transgender#i will reblog this again occasionally so people can see it#and if i decide to change my name i'll make another post#i have like 3 other names on the back burner but nix is my current fave#also shout out to my amazing qpp/gf for helping me figure it all out <3#she's not on tumblr anymore right now but i just love her <3#also yes nix is from phoenix as in phoenix wright cuz i'm a fucking nerd lol
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hardwood comb project
I forgor to buy a lighter colored wood for the spine/core so I can't keep working on it tonight cause all I've got is the walnut.
#woodworking#alt text#Ford's art#I made a bamboo comb in high school and I've always wanted to make another comb but better#and I don't need a really broad toothed comb cause my hair is straight and not massively thick#but my gf has very thick curly hair and so I think this would be very cool and also useful#she lets me braid it when she comes over so it stays out of the way when we kiss and it's very gorgeous and beautiful#anyway apparently my being aroace is canceled because damn she's very cool and I'm feeling sappy again#(don't get into ace exclusionist discourse on my diy comb post aroace is valid so stay off my lawn please)#I'm debating whether to stain the wood I think I will but I definitely need to test a patch of scrap first because#because I'm not very familiar with staining hardwood#feels like every art project I do is always just “uh oh I've never done this before I hope it works out okay”#but ugh I have a vision in my head of how I want it to be when finished and I hope to dog I can make it close#I don't add text id to other people's posts but since I have the option here I kind of feel like it's responsible posting to add descriptio#I will update as I continue the project if I remember to.#plus hair has always been an important part of my gender recognition (and is for a lot of trans women in general)#so making and giving something that supports that aspect of her feels really meaningful yaknow?
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