#shed probably still have some fears about the whole situation

[haunted-xander]

I guess old feelings don't disappear that easily

[nescaveckwriter]

Paintbrushes And Romance

Dean x reader

Part 3🥰

A/N: Thank you for all the love and likes, comments and messages, y'all are awesome 🐞🥰

Warnings: Some light swearing, Violence, Some Sexual Content, PTSD Triggers. 🙈

Really could you sound any more like a dork, you say lying in bed that night looking out the window at the stars, did you really have to use the whole "fudge saying" from that one series you were hooked on Hart of Dixie you recall. Thinking about his arms around you, the way it felt, the woody musky scent coming from his clothing, the way his piercing emerald green eyes looked right through your soul. What is it about this man, that has you so intrigued. You smile, while thinking about what you already know about him, he has a smile that could light up a room, his eyes are so enticing, he is a sheriff, probably why you felt so safe in his arms, he is much taller than you, he is really strong, and damn he is handsome, the type of handsome that can make any women's knees feel like jello. With the sound echoing of his gruffy voice you fall asleep.

......

The rain slowly falling against your window wakes you up, instead of the cheerful way you always greet the day, a moment of dread washes over you, you thought by now, the anniversary of the day that altered your out look on life , wouldn't botter you as much. The fear rushes over you again, the memories flashing, you try to fight the tears burning behind your eyes.

Feeling your chest tightening is enough to send shivers down your back, breathe in calmness and release the fear, you think out loud, that's what your psychologist told you the first time it happened and even after learning all the coping mechanisms and strategies, you still find yourself in this situation, every now and again when you can't chase away the darkness. Sometimes its like you can still smell the spoiled milk and fear hanging in the darkness of the trunk he shoved you in. That's the smell you tried washing off of you for weeks, months even and still it sometimes hit you like a brick in the face, being a 20-year old girl believing the world is full of good people, and then being taken, bound and gagged, definitely shakes that outlook.

Dragging yourself out of the comfort and safety of your bed, you think back on that day, you were so scared, thinking about how to get out of the situation, being held at a wooden shed you found a rusty nail sticking out of one of the wooden shafts, you silently rubbed your bound hands against it, scraping more than just the rope, digging out pieces of the flesh on your wrists aswell.

Hearing him say how his going to have his way with you, him coming closer to you unbuckling his belt, was just the motivation you needed, scared out of yourself, adrenaline rushing through your veins, you cut the last piece of the rope, while his hovering over you, you pushed him onto the floor, surprised look clearly visible on his face, you quickly untie your feet, got up but he catches you, trying to wiggle out of his grip, that's when you felt it, pushing through your skin, subconsciously letting your fingers run over the clearly visible scar on the right side of your ribcage, you felt the blade of the knife tearing through your flesh, falling to the ground, you wanted to scream but held it in, hearing him say, I've got you now, you piece of trash, that's when you saw it in the corner of your eye, a steel pipe, your last hope, you tried pulling it closer, fingers barely cathing the edge, with one big push you slide your body closer to the pipe, feeling the blood gushing through your side, you find strength somehow, and bash the side of his head in with the piece of steel, he fell like a sack of potatoes, covering your whole body, you don't know if it was the fear of him waking up and going through with his threats of touching and then finally killing you or the adrenaline, but you managed to get him off of you, you got up and ran as fast as you could, barefoot across a field into what looked like a kind of creepy scrapyard, but you were desperate and afraid, you ran up to a door screaming, begging, so that whoever is behind the door, hoping someone is there, would open up! The door flung open, an old rugged man, with a angry voice saying what the hell, he stopped looking at the bruises on your face , then seeing the blood staining your clothes, you couldn't really hear what he said, falling to your legs, you see him picking up something that looked like a shotgun, then hearing the man who took you behind you screaming come hear you piece of... Before he could end his sentence, you heard a loud banging noise, then cathing a glimpse on the man collapsing to the ground, looking back at the old man, holding the smoking gun, before everything just went black, and from that day, Bobby Singer became like a second father too you, sad smile on your face, and tear stained cheeks, you look yourself in the mirror, knowing your not a victim but a survivor.

.....

The raindrops on the impala is making it shine even more, Dean notices, while finding a parking spot at the coffee shop, its his off day, so he got out of the car with his red flannel shirt, hoping to see the coffee shop angel and finally asking her if he could buy her a coffee, maybe then he could focus on something else, rather than this heavy case hanging over him.

Filled with hope and anticipation he walks over to the corner where the shop is, cathing a glimpse of Bobby Singer, the man who was more of a father to him than his own dad, Bobby taught him how to hunt, how to fish, hell, how to be a good man, not that he always succeeded in that part, but hey he tries.

He is hugging someone, that's when he sees her, but today she doesn't look like the little ray of sunshine, that he came to recognize, tears are streaming down her beautiful face, all Dean want's to do is to wrap her in his arms, holding her until whatever made her cry like that, just disappears into the warmth of him.

He walks closer, wanting to talk to her but, Bobby, stops him, son, no don't go after her, let her be. But I just want to, let her know I care said Dean! Son, she doesn't want anyone looking at her like she's a victim. Bobby! what the hell do you mean, did something happen to her, no-one reported a crime he, tries to scan his brain, trying to think of a case that might have involved her. Did he miss something, anger bursting in his voice. Damnit Dean you idjit, listen, something happened to her ten years ago, let's sit down, and I will tell you how I met this amazing, women who is stronger than most, Bobby said with admiration in his voice. As Bobby tells Dean the story of what happened to her that day, the emotions visible on his face, from severe anger, to this deep sadness, a sort of sadness he never felt, it actually felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest, trampled on even, how is this damn world fair, how could something so horrible, happen to someone as amazing, as her, he thought.

Thanking Bobby for telling him and also swearing that he will never pity her, Dean walked to his car, before getting in he made a promise to himself and whoever is listening up above, that he would always protect her, no matter what, he will go to hell and back for her.

[josefavomjaaga]

Murat and Bessières at school

Still looking for something for @flowwochair, I came across this very brief remark in the memoirs of general Jean Sarrazin (more about him below):

When I was seven, my father took me to the college in Cahors, the capital of the Lot department. My father chose this college in preference to the one in Agen, on the advice of the Comte de Fumel, whose tenant he was. [...] I was raised with Murat, Bessières and Andral, with whom I was friends. Bessières was well-behaved, a little Cato. Murat was a scatterbrain, boisterous and concerned only with his own pleasures. He was a true Paris brat (gamin de Paris).

Now, I assume this author is a highly suspicious source. Not only because he, obviously, is yet another Gascon, but mostly because he, after having served in the Revolutionary and Imperial army, defected to the British in 1810, and supplied them with plenty of information on Napoleon’s plans and the most prominent leaders of his army. As a matter of fact, in 1811 he had a book published with descriptions of several prominent figures in France, called "The Philosopher", the first chapter of which is dedicated to Marshal Soult, who was probably the most interesting to the British due to him being their main opponent in Spain, and who in this book receives much more praise than is due to him. While much of it may be plain wrong or at least cannot be verified, I feel like it’s an interesting insight into what people in the army at the time thought about these folks.

Among other things, Sarrazin gives a long description of the battle of Fleurus, with some interesting twists. Mostly he claims that Lefebvre owed his reputation as a great general only to Soult, who at the time was his chief-of-staff, and even has general Marceau exclaim that Soult had won the battle of Fleurus for them. This is completely opposite to Soult’s own memoirs, where Soult has nothing but praise for Lefebvre’s actions during the battle of Fleurus, and barely mentions his own. However, there seems to be some truth to Soult coming to the aid of one rather desperate general Marceau, as Soult mentions this, too, though in a very different context.

The demand to detach some troops at a very inopportune moment is made in Soult’s memoirs as well – but not by Marceau, but by Saint-Just. And it’s not Lefebvre and Soult who refuse, but Jourdan (whom Soult praises a lot for having had the courage to stand up to what he calls "Saint-Just's presumptuous ignorance"). I am not sure in how far these memoirs are influenced by Soult’s own long life and his own political situation, but he clearly despises Saint-Just. According to his memoirs, the whole officers’ corps was shaking with fear while the politicians were with them, literally scared to death. In front of Charleroi, one artillery capitaine allegedly was executed for having failed to meet the schedule Saint-Just had set for him.

Again, I have no clue what this is based on. But I thought it worth mentioning, maybe somebody from the Frev community can shed some light onto this incident.

(Personally, I feel like Soult may be projecting here a little of "Joseph's presumptuous ignorance" onto another episode of his life 😋)

[nrhshm]

One Piece Characters and the moment they fell inlove with their s/o:

Ft. Marco, Rob Lucci

° S/o taken Female

° SFW

.

.

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Marco: ~ in a dream ~

° Phoenix Man is usually chill and collected, always holding that lazy exterior showing little care for the world. A chatty introvert, emotionally reserved, yet still manages to act like a normal human being. He's considered the most rational out of all the Whitebeards. Yet again, his rare zoan fruit drawbacks his resting hours to almost... none. Marco usually stays up all night head stuffed in papers and notes. And when he DOES sleep, things get jump stepped to "interesting".

° One dream has managed to stand out above all others. In it, you where standing on the ship's deck, countless fiery blue birds circling around you, the scene almost out of a fairytale. You smiled in glee, Marco has rarely seen you smile like that, and when you did... you captivated him.

° He stood there, entranced, enamoured, jaw dropping on the floor and heart almost exploding out of his chest. He's never felt this emotionally vulnerable, his mind is not working properly anymore. All he can register in his brain, is you.

° Your gaze shifts to the said man, smile widening as you stretch your hand towards his. Whispering sweet words that he didn't seem to catch on properly, nonetheless unconsciously reaching out to you as well, hand soon clasping your own soft one. Just then, his vision blanks out and his conciousness comes crashing back at him.

° He jolts awake, his palm grasping one side of his face. A violent mix of emotions hindering his thoughts, the dream playing on repeat in his mind.

° A few minutes later Marco breaks into a deep chuckle, a wide smile spread across his face. Finally piecing the puzzle pieces together, finally coming into an embarrassing conclusion.

"How cringe." He mumbles, unable to stop grinning. Welp, there's one way to cure this emotional disease he's having. Marco jumps out of bed and gets himself ready. Ace comes into the room reminding the latter about breakfast.

"Ah yeh, I'll be right there. But first, have you seen Y/N by any chance- yoi?"

Rob Lucci: ~ in a mission ~

° You were tied up and carelessly thrown into an abandoned shed. Your pirate kidnappers laughing menacingly as they fade in distance, probably planning where they would profitably sell you.

° You look around, other females in the same situation as you... other naggy snobbish drama queens sneering at you in disgust. As it turns out, "you" were the cause of all that, "you" have placed everyone in this situation, and "you" have to pay the price.

° The Goverment has sent a CP9 member to sort things out. The said man stood outside of the shed, in a single glance he understood the whole situation. Smashing the door open, he looks around, females tied and cornering in fear. The moment they see the handsome foriegn face of their supposed "savior", they get all cheery and swoony, disgusting you to the core.

° You shut your eyes in an attempt to think, to plan your way out virtually. Yet, you were quickly caught off guard by some muffled screams and a sudden prolonged silence. Looking back up, dead bodies lay all around you, and your uncaring look catches the CP9 agent in surprise.

° "You're not scared." He states more as a cautious fact than a curious question. You look ahead to see him approaching you in a killer's aura, intending to end your life.

° "They had it coming." You said in upmost slack. He was seriously shocked now. Everyone runs away from the sight of Rob Lucci, everyone cowers in fear under his deadly robotic stare. But you, you were a different story.

° He suddenly found himself intrigued by you, impressed maybe? No, completely DRAWN into your demeanor. He's killed so many people, women were mostly frail naggy and controlled by their useless emotions, yet you seem to oppose all the odds.

° He swings his sharp nails to your bindings, instantly breaking them apart. You look up in a questioning daze, not before you feel youself hoisted on a strong buff shoulder. "O-Oi! What are you-?"

° "Move or I'll kill you." He threatens, casually walking out of the shed with a new "hostage". You give him an unimpressed look, yet yield to his demands. "Yeh sure, take me to the government or whatever..." you mumble purposefully, feeling yourself enter the world of a deep slumber.

° Rob unconciously holds you tighter, as he heads out to find the real kidnappers, pursuing absolute order and justice. Yet deep down something else moved him, he can hear his heart thumping unusually loud, his one dead muscle is beating itself back to life.

° A sarcastic smile escapes his features, wondering how long has it been since it last happened. He was harshly trained to kill his own emotions a long time ago, then you came by and in seconds that same muscle corpse is pumping back giddy feelings, coursing through his veins.

° He'll have you join under the government's system. No- he'll FORCE you to join them, to have you by his side and under his watchfull eye at all times possible. For uh... reasons.

[luciehercndale]

Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

Hi guys! I'm finally done with this fic and I wanted to share it with you. SPOILERS if you haven't read Chain of Thorns. It's a 4K one shot divided into three POVs (Eugenia's, Gabriel's and Cecily's) and it's about how the TID gang found out what happened in London and that Kit had passed away, especially his parents. This fic was hard to write because of its emotional content. I hope you enjoy it, although it deals with tough themes like grief/mourning. The song to go along with his fic is "The Loneliest" by Maneskin. Read it on A03 💙

Eugenia knew, when her cousins tasked her to be the bearer of bad news to their parents, that they wouldn’t be easy to deliver. She hated this whole situation. She trusted James and the others. They had proved they could fix this mess. Still, she feared for their life, especially her brother’s. She didn’t even try to reason with Thomas, because she already knew he wouldn’t oblige and come with her, even if she was the older sister looking after his well-being, and she knew she could have forced him to come with her if she wanted. She didn’t try to argue with Anna either, since she’d always been independent in her choices and she knew even she couldn’t shake her resolve to fight with the others to save all of them. After all, it was her younger brother who had been killed. Eugenia was aware that Anna wouldn’t let the possibility to avenge him go that easily. If she had been in her position - only thinking about it made her shudder with pain - she knew she would have stayed too, hoping to deal at least one blow to their enemies. It wouldn't have brought Christopher back, but it would’ve made feel better. 

Eugenia had hope. Yet, the first thing that hit her when they walked through the portal was that this could be the last time she would ever see everyone, and she wanted to cry. And she did shed a few tears while she walked alongside the rest of shadowhunters who had decided it was best to go back to their homeland, and give up on London forever. Cowards. But she couldn’t blame them. Being a shadowhunter didn’t mean being courageous.

She saw the towers of Alicante looming in the distance, and after they walked past the entrance to the city of Idris, she knew where they were headed. She wasn’t walking that far from Charles, who also tasked himself with being the leader in this expedition back home. She thought expedition wasn’t a good term to describe what they were doing. They had been banished, exiled. Charles told them they would take Kit’s body to the Basilias, the shadowhunter’s hospital in the city, and they would wait for the Silent Brothers to take him elsewhere and ready him for his funeral. Eugenia didn’t know how he could be so calm and could utter the word funeral and Christopher at the same time, but she didn’t have the strength to correct him. After all, it was the truth.

The city was eerily silent, but she thought that perhaps most of the shadowhunters were meeting at the Gard. They had, after all, to trial her uncle Will and aunt Tessa with the Mortal Sword. They came from the East entrance, and they were just passing the Gard when some shadowhunters spilled out of it, and Eugenia’s hands started to tremble. 

“Is my mother inside? It’s important,” Charles asked someone she didn’t know. The man replied that they were done with the meeting and that she would probably be out soon. The man, whom she recognized from the Hardcastle family, looked at the lot of them with a frown until he spotted someone in their group and went to talk to them, likely for an explanation.

Eugenia was glad she wouldn’t have to repeat her tale to everyone. She sighed, and caught Charles looking at her as some known faces had just come out of the Gard. She saw the Herondales first, hand in hand and with a relieved expression on their faces. The trial had probably gone well. They were flanked by their usual companions: aunt Charlotte patted uncle Will’s shoulder with a satisfied grin, and beside her, she saw her father Gideon wearing the same smile. She hated to be the one to ruin their mood, but it couldn’t be helped. She walked toward them as her uncle Gabriel came out, and blocked their path along with Charles.

“Eugenia? What are you doing here?” her father asked, as everyone stopped abruptly on the stairs of the Gard, equally surprised to see them there. “And Charles,” he added, before Charlotte could speak. She glanced behind them, noticing their group of shadowhunters scattered in front of the building. Noticing the bier.

“Has something happened in London?” Will asked, his voice laced with worry. 

“Yes, Eugenia. Do please tell us,” Charlotte prompted with a calm demeanor, but she could tell she was restless too. “Or Charles. Please.”

Eugenia sighed. She looked at all of the people gathered before her, and thought she really wanted Charles to do it, but there was a reason her cousins had asked her. They trusted she would know what to say, unlike Charles. And they trusted her to calm their parents down, if needed, and instill some reason in them, in spite of the fact that James and the others had most likely sentenced themselves to death. She didn’t want to think about it.

“Belial took London,” she started with the easiest thing to say. “He took London and banished the city from the rest of the world, rendering the mundanes like automatons,” she said. Her relatives started to say something, but she shushed them. “James made a bargain with him,” she didn’t dare to look at Will and Tessa. “He said that he would let him possess his body, in exchange for letting us all return to Idris and live our life.”

“He did what?” Will asked with fury, as someone behind them turned to see what the ruckus was about.  He was ready to descend the stairs to go back to London, but his wife stopped him. 

“Please, let Eugenia finish, William,” Charlotte said, trying not to get angry too. Eugenia saw how she was inspecting the people behind her, obviously looking for her other son. “What happened, after? Surely, you’re all back here now, as it should be reasonable?”

Eugenia bit her lip nervously. “Everyone decided to stay in London,” she confessed. “Because they think that can save the city.”

“That’s a reckless idea,” uncle Gabriel said. “How do they think they can do that by themselves? We should go back too, and help them.”

“I’m afraid it’s not possible,” Charles said with bitterness, speaking for the first time after meeting their relatives. “Belial closed the portal that led us here. There is no way for them to come or for us to go back. They’re trapped there. They’re going to die just like—”

She really wanted to punch Charles in the face for being so negative about it. She was glad he had stopped before he would say they were going to die like Kit. She knew she had to tell them soon, but she was trying to ration the pain she would have to inflict them. She glared at Charles. “I believe in them,” she managed to say. “They’re the only ones who can do something.”

“I’m enraged James had to offer himself to that demon,” Will said. “And that Lucie stayed behind to go along with this plan,” she could see tears in his eyes. 

“Genie, I can’t believe you didn’t try to convince your brother,” Gideon said, “but I know he’s stubborn,” he shook his head. 

She was about to say something when Tessa spoke. She had been silent the whole time, speaking in hushed words to calm Will down, and seemingly distracted when Charles was about to blurt out that Kit was dead. Tessa had been focused on the bier, which had been kept hidden and forgotten by the throngs of shadowhunters and their families learning of the tale of what happened in London, but she had been listening. Unlike the others, who were focused on the dire news about their children, Tessa caught Charles’ words. Everyone assumed that they were all safe, just not there, but Eugenia felt like Tessa already noticed something was off.

“Charles,” she spoke softly, “I see you brought a bier with you, from London,” she managed a neutral expression without sounding too worried. “Did somebody get hurt in London?”

Charles’s mouth gaped open, and it seemed like, in the moment of truth, he didn’t know what to say. “I –” he stuttered. “It’s —”

“Who is it, Charles?” Will prodded, already enraged and desperate as it was. “Is it one of our –”

For a moment, they all looked at the bier, since not everyone had seen it, and then at Charles and Eugenia, begging for answers. She could sense the change in the air, raw with unspoken tension and panic. It was Eugenia who answered. She had delayed the bad news too much. 

“I’m sorry, uncle Gabriel,” she finally said, glancing at him. “It’s –” but she couldn’t finish. Her uncle had already run off the stairs, directed to the bier, everyone following in his footsteps with shock and anxiety etched on their faces. His hands were trembling as he slowly removed the white cloth on Kit’s face. Eugenia and Charles stood helplessly watching as he stood in disbelief in front of his son’s body, unable to move for an entire minute. 

Gabriel felt someone’s hand on his shoulder and he blinked to adjust to the light. He hadn’t realized how long he had been holding his son’s hand, holding his gaze on his pale, long fingers, the Lightwood family ring still on his fourth finger — the finger with the vein of love. He hadn’t noticed that he’d reached out for it and squeezed his fingers, to look for vital signs in the slightest nook of his body. The shock of seeing him there, still as a statue, hadn’t stopped from him checking his son’s pulse. Even though someone had covered Christoper’s eyes with a white strip of linen, and his skin had turned into an ashy shade, Gabriel couldn’t tear his hands from his older boy. The boy he loved so much and that was too young to die.

In the throng of shadowhunters talking around him about what they’d just learned from London, Gabriel’s ears tuned to listen to Kit’s breath. He automatically put his head on his chest, his fingers on his throat, and under his nose. Maybe they’d been wrong. Maybe – someone gently put a hand over his, shaking him from his reverie, from his robotic first aid behavior. “Brother, please. Please, stop.” It was Gideon’s voice. His brother. 

He blinked again, and shook his head. In tuning out everything else, it hadn’t occurred to him that he started crying, and his vision was now blurry. “No,” he said firmly, without tearing his hand from Kit’s chest. “No,” he repeated, his voice broken by sobs. Gideon circled him in an embrace, and Gabriel put his head on his shoulder. He could hear the sound of muffled cries around him now, but he wouldn’t dare to take his eyes off Christopher’s body. 

Everything happened in a blur, after. He could barely register Charlotte’s voice as she told him that they would take Kit to the Basilias first. “He can’t stay here,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady even though it was also her voice that was broken by the sobs. “We need to shelter him from the cold.” Charlotte also loved Kit like a son, and he knew how she must feel, but at the same time, she wouldn’t understand. She hadn’t lost a son. But Gabriel wouldn’t budge.

“Let’s go together, brother,” it was Gideon’s voice, his older brother's soothing voice. “We need to take him away from this ruckus.” 

People started to gather around them and offered their condolences as they stood still by the bier, but he wouldn’t hear them, he wouldn’t listen to anyone. It was like he was alone with his pain, and Christopher, who looked very much as if he was sleeping. He was aware of Gideon and his other friends around him, trying to make him reason that it was better to take Kit inside. But there was nothing reasonable about the death of a boy in his prime. 

Eventually, he didn’t know how he found the strength to push the bier, and start walking North, to the shadowhunter hospital. He recalled Gideon’s presence beside him, his nephew Eugenia by her father’s side, and the rest of them – Charlotte, Will and Tessa, on the other side. Charles had disappeared at some point, but he was so very dazed and shell-shocked that it could’ve been the angel Raziel following after their small group, he wouldn’t have cared.

At last, their procession arrived at their destination. Silent Brothers took Christopher’s body in the funeral chamber, or what Gabriel thought was that. Dead people were taken to the Silent City, but the current situation didn’t allow that. He thought: my son can’t even get a proper burial, and vowed that he would at least give him that after they could go back to London. If they could ever go back. He didn’t want to let go of his boy, but Jem was there, and he trusted Jem to take good care of Kit.

We will look after Christopher, Jem told them, informing them that he would tell them when his body would be ready. We will see that he receives the best of care.

Gabriel had barely nodded, and felt the urge to punch a wall. No one said anything when he was about to do so, and no one tried to stop him when he started bawling again. It was an ugly cry, a stronger cry that stood out above all of the rest from his friends and family. 

Charlotte left at some point, because there were Consul matters she had to attend to. She assured Gabriel that she wouldn’t tell about Kit’s passing until he was ready, and would fight those who had witnessed their earlier scene at the Gard and found out about his passing. She didn’t want Cecily to learn about it through someone else. Gabriel had nodded absentmindedly, and soon after, a Silent Brother informed them that they could see him if they wanted. He didn’t hesitate. Even though his heart had been shattered already, he wanted to see him one last time. He needed… How he wished this would be a nightmare.

“I can tell Cecily,” Will offered when they got to the Lightwood’s mansion in Idris. Cecily had decided to stay with Alexander while Gabriel and the others went to Will and Tessa’s trial with the Mortal Sword. Sophie had decided to keep her company, at least she wouldn’t be alone. He knew that his brother-in-law meant well, but he shook his head.

“No,” he said firmly. “I have to tell her,” he sighed. “Even though it hurts me.” They could hear chatter and giggles from the outside. It was probably Alexander’s dinnertime. Gabriel wished he could go back in time and be a child again. Free from all trauma, pain, and guilt, and shame. But then it wouldn’t be the same. He wouldn’t have his family, he wouldn’t have his heart. 

Gideon opened the door to Gabriel and Cecily’s house, and they all strolled silently inside. As he suspected, Alexander was eating his dinner at the dining room table. He was alone with Sophie, who was laughing and chanting to him to make eating funnier. When he saw his father, he beamed at him. “Papa!” he giggled happily. Gabriel reached him in two strides and hugged him tightly while the child protested. 

“I love you, Alex,” he said with a gentle voice, and with tears pooling in his eyes. “Do you know that, right?”

“I love you too,” he mused, “but now let me go. I’m eating dinner with aunt Sophie! I’m starving!”

That seemed to brighten the mood a little. Everyone laughed, but Sophie caught the tension in the room. Once Alexander went back to eating, she glanced at the little group with a frown. “I don’t like your faces,” she commented, raising from her chair to go to Tessa, who was closest to her. “Do tell me about it.”

“We’ll fill her in,” Gideon said to Gabriel, “you do what you have to do, brother. Are you sure you don’t want me?”

“I have to do this on my own,” Gabriel declared. “But I know you’ll be here. I appreciate your support. I don’t think I could’ve made it today on my own without you.”

“We’ll be here unless you kick us out,” said Will. “And even if you kick us out, we’ll stay.”

Gabriel managed a smile and tried to keep his tears at bay. He knew he had to go to Cecily now. He needed to tell his wife that their son was no more. He hoped he had the strength, or he would have to find it during the short trip upstairs.

Cecily glanced at the grandfather’s clock on the wall of her bedroom. It was past their dinner time, and Gabriel still hadn’t returned from the Gard. She declined to go to her brother’s trial when her husband asked. “It’s not that I don’t care,” she replied, “my brother will understand why I’m not present,” she told him. Even if Cecily didn’t tell Gabriel what was the real reason she didn’t want to go, she was sure he understood. 

After Tatiana had kidnapped their younger son Alexander, she didn’t trust to be outside alone with him. Sure, there would be her husband with her, and her relatives. But she wouldn’t feel safe again. Not yet, at least. She knew that woman was still at large, and being herself a shadowhunter, it wasn’t completely insane to think that she could enter Alicante and finish what she started. Fool everyone. Ruin everyone’s life with her wrath. Cecily had pitied the woman, felt sorry that she had to go through losing her husband and her son, but now she thought she was past redemption, past forgiveness. Tatiana had crossed the threshold of sanity, and Cecily thought the only place fit for her would be a jail cell, or worse. She didn’t like to hold any grudges, but she realized that the only way to quell her fear and anxiety about her loved one’s safety would be if Tatiana were six feet underground.

Cecily was aware that she could be in danger even if she stayed behind the walls of her house, but at least she would feel safer and keep her guard up. It would be harder to keep her guard up in public, with all of the distractions, and she was in a room full of people the last time Tatiana tried one of her tricks, and none could do anything.

Sophie showed up when Gabriel left. She knew he had probably asked her to keep her company, and of that, she was grateful. Cecily trusted her son with her family, and although she still felt uneasy at the thought of leaving Alex with someone who wasn’t her or Gabriel, she knew that she needed to take a few hours to take a breather and regroup, or else she would crumble. 

She occasionally checked on Sophie and Alex while she did the chores she had to do, but as she expected, the duo was okay and they looked like they were having fun. She had the time to wash her hair, check the pantry for food, and change the bed. Some of these things, Gabriel also did. But Gabriel got hurt a week before, because of the fight at the entrance of the London Institute, and some things she delayed and forgotten. She was in emotional distress, but she had to try and react. It didn’t matter. They would have time to do those things, but now –

The door opened, and Gabriel walked slowly inside. She was folding some laundry, and the first thing she noticed were his red-rimmed eyes. “Don’t tell me they want to kick out Will and Tessa from the London Institute,” she was angry, but Gabriel shook his head. 

“No, on the contrary,” he answered swiftly, but this didn’t ease Cecily’s worry.

“There’s something wrong,” she said with a sigh, squeezing Gabriel’s arm. At that, he nodded, and didn’t try to hide his tears. Gabriel wasn’t a crier. He only cried on a few occasions, and this panicked Cecily. The situation must be dire, for him to cry like that.  “Gabriel,” she urged him. “Please, tell me what’s wrong. Put me out of my misery, would you?”

“I’m sorry, Cecy, I’m really sorry,” he started, more tears running free and covering his red cheeks. “Our boy Kit, he – he didn’t make it.”

“Don’t be silly, Gabriel,” Cecily said hysterically, pacing back and forth in front of him, “Christopher is safe in London, and we’ll be there –”

“We can’t go back to London, Cecy,” he revealed. “Belial has closed all of the portals that lead to London, and we’re trapped here. The kids stayed behind, in London.”

“So you mean that Kit and Anna can’t return for the time being? That’s what you’re saying?”

“Anna stayed in London,” he said calmly. “Kit is here…” his voice trailed off, “at the Basilias. I’m sorry, Cecy,” he sighed, his face resigned. “They couldn’t do anything to save him.”

“You can’t be joking about something so serious,” she started yelling, the yell mixed with tears, pointing her finger at her husband, punching his chest. “You can’t be telling me that my precious son is dead!”

Gabriel didn’t answer, he just wept in front of her like a child, and Cecily knew he wasn’t playing. He would never joke about their children. Her legs gave out, and she fell on the rug. She had vowed and hoped to never hear those words while she lived, and the thought made her chest ache with pain. It hurt, it hurt so much, and her hand touched the left side of her chest, where her heart was supposed to be. A piece of heart had just been carved out of her chest when he had uttered those few words, and she didn’t know if she could be whole again. 

She couldn’t believe it was true. Her pretty boy with lilac eyes and with a good heart — She felt her husbands’ arms around her at once, trying to soothe her, trying to soothe his pain – she didn’t know. She didn’t know anything anymore. 

She wasn’t sure how long had passed until they were on that rug, in each other’s arms, trying to give each other strength. Maybe it had been minutes, if not hours. Christopher’s smile, his last smile to her, she realized with agony, when they left for Idris, haunting her. A smile that would haunt her dreams in which she wished this was just a nightmare. 

 “Please, Gabriel,” Cecily said, her voice rough from crying. “Get me Alex. Please.”

Gabriel hadn’t asked why she wanted her smallest child with her. She knew that she would know why she needed him. Why did she want to hug him tightly and kiss his chubby face until he’d be sick of it and complain. She knew that Gabriel would do anything she asked. He wasn’t surprised when he found her in the middle of their bed, her hair a mess, her expression vacant. A picture in her hands. She already missed their boy. She lit up when she saw baby Alexander, who was rubbing his eyes, sleepy. 

“He fell asleep on your brother’s shoulder. He’s here with Tessa and the others,” Gabriel explained. “When I told Alex we were going to mama, he tried to keep his eyes open on the way.”

“Thank them for being here,” she said mechanically, without emotion. Cecily managed a tight smile, only for Alex. “Come here,” she told the child. 

“But you said I can’t sleep on your bed,” Alex protested, but jumped on the bed anyway, sitting next to his mother.

“It’s just for tonight, darling,” she patted his head lovingly, and hugged him. “I want to be alone with him,” Cecily told her husband, “Please,” and he respected her decision. Once Gabriel left, she started to cry again, but this time, she needed to be alone.

She woke up with a start when the door of the bedroom clicked open, and Gabriel entered. She hadn’t realized she had fallen asleep, but she did. She was tired, but her mind was restless. She locked eyes with Gabriel, after he crawled into bed next to little Alex. He caressed her cheek, a simple gesture with which she knew that he loved her and was worried about her. And Cecily was worried about him too. They did, after all, lose their beloved child. They didn’t speak, just stared into each other’s eyes, companions sharing the same unspeakable pain of losing someone they both loved. And that didn’t ease the heartache, but it helped them cope a little.

“I just want to know how it happened,” Cecily said at some point, one thought among the ones that weren’t letting her sleep come easily that night. “Was it an accident, or –”

Gabriel heaved an audible sigh, and when he did, Cecily realized why. “It was Tatiana,” his tone was bitter, full of hate. “With a poisonous knife.”

Cecily snorted. “Well, I hope that wherever she is, she dies a painful and slow death,” she said fiercely, full of rage. 

“She’s dead, Cecy,” he said with detachment. She knew he had stopped talking about Tatiana as his sister and as someone who could be forgiven, after she kidnapped Alexander. “Cordelia killed her.”

“That’s too bad,” she said with spite. “I wish I could have killed her myself.”

And in the darkness of their bedroom, Gabriel, too, wished he could have killed Tatiana.

[legendaryprofessorwisteria]

Hello professor! Do you have any general care tips for darkrai? They’ve always been my favorite Pokémon in general, and I was looking into having one in the future!

Hello! As it happens, I do and I'm happy to share them! Cut because long post, whoops.

Overall, Darkrai is actually a great choice for a Mythical Pokemon. I didn't put it on the Beginner Legendary list because of the whole nightmare powers thing, but that's not so bad if you have Lunar Wings and/or a good tolerance for scary dreams.

Lunar Wings are available online or from pretty much anyone with a Cresselia, as they shed pretty frequently. There are a lot of knockoffs, but a real Lunar Wing will last forever as long as it's not damaged - still, it's worth buying several. I wouldn't recommend shelling out for an unusually colored Lunar Wing, because those are more likely to be knockoffs and don't make any difference.

Don't put a Lunar Wing on a Darkrai. It will completely suppress their nightmare powers, but that's not healthy for it, and can cause illness, lethargy, or even pain. Only do it temporarily if you HAVE to, which should be rare.

Fun fact: Most Darkrai can't actually present nightmares that are frightening to the individual, but rather prey on common fears such as monsters, humiliation, the dark, death, and similar. Nightmares that target uncommon fears or an individual's personal fears are the mark of a well-trained Darkrai. This also means that if you don't suffer from the most common fears, you'll probably be unaffected!

Part of receiving an individual license for a Darkrai is being intentionally targeted by nightmare powers, both from a Darkrai with average and honed nightmare powers. Bringing a Lunar Wing to the exam, while technically cheating, is considered a sign of good planning and good humor unless you actually try to be sneaky about it.

Darkrai are naturally solitary, but quite like socializing with Pokemon that aren't of their own species (Darkrai shouldn't be kept together unless they're family or already get along well). Most Pokemon naturally avoid Darkrai but can be acclimated to them fairly easily.

For the safety of you/other Pokemon and Darkrai's comfort, having a dark spot they can retreat to, specifically for them, is great.

Darkrai tend to enjoy puzzle cubes/similar toys for Pokemon with simplistic but workable hands. They also have some degree of psychic power, meaning enrichment stuff aimed at Psychic Pokemon can be enjoyable for them.

The best way to train a Darkrai to be careful with its nightmare powers is not to scold them for using said powers, but to reward them when they don't - especially in a frightening or overstimulating situation. Most Darkrai won't have much trouble with this.

Darkrai don't like a lot of bright lights or noise, and tend to be nocturnal or crepuscular (active at dawn and dusk). The ideal Trainer to match a Darkrai's usual personality would be a fairly quiet, not overly extroverted night owl.

Thanks to not being huge, Darkrai don't need a ton of space as long as they have a quiet place to hang out in. Similarly, their habitat needs are fairly minimal and they're not territorial beyond the desire for a small space of their own. If I make a list of Legendary/Mythical Pokemon you could ethically keep in an average apartment, Darkrai would be on it.

Darkrai need an average of six to seven and a half hours of sleep per day, but this varies upward (rarely lower) depending on their health, age, diet, and other factors. They also nap frequently.

Darkrai love to observe things. They will stare at you. A lot. It can be creepy.

Darkrai are omnivorous, but also feed off of dreams and negative energy like Shuppet, Drowzee, or Munna do. This means that Trainers who work well with their Darkrai usually report a calmer, more relaxed mental state with the odd nightmare. That's not a reason not to be careful, Darkrai nightmares can be extremely upsetting to some people (I myself couldn't train a Darkrai because I don't handle that well), but overall Darkrai aren't a drain on mental health...contrary to popular opinion.

Darkrai get slandered hard in a lot of media and public opinion. While there was that fantastic movie set in Alamos Town a while ago, most portrayals of Darkrai paint them as unsympathetic at best and their nightmare powers give them an awful reputation. As such, prepare for scrutiny from your neighbors, friends, or family - or even strangers. People will absolutely try to make your Pokemon their business.

Darkrai are in reality quite relaxed, nonaggressive Pokemon and 90% of the time, if threatened, they will give you a nightmare and book it. Some people expecting a scary, dark Pokemon actually end up disappointed because the majority of Darkrai are so chill.

[mr-poire]

How did The Penultimate Doctor meet Hannah, Elise, and Sid? I can only speculate they all met each other one at a time, since all three of them seemingly come from different times and places, but would you be willing to shed some light on the events that transpired to form this TARDIS crew in the first place?

Riiiiight, I didn't explain the first "episode" I had in mind ! Long story short... The Doctor sort of kidnapped them ! All three of them, along with several other young people from all over Earth's history, are temporal paradoxes : they are beings that could've only existed had the Doctor never changed the course of her former companions' (Ian, Barbara, Sarah Jane, Tegan, Rose, Martha, Donna, etc.) life. When she regenerated into her Penultimate Incarnation, the Doctor felt so guilty over the lives she prevented from ever existing and following their "natural courses" that she extracted them all to a sort of safe bubble outside of space and time, letting her TARDIS grow and transform her external dimensions to form a sort of "school/dormitory" where all these people are free to roam, learn, and grow, though a perception filter prevented them from realizing they weren't a part of reality anymore. This "TARDIS-school" was also inhabited by several holographic teachers modeled after former companions to both guide and surveil the "students", amongst which were placed other holographic companions to blend in. This was how, through Ace and Susan's holographic manifestations, the Doctor was able to realize that some of her "students" had beginning to developp an immunity to her perception filter and to realize that something was wrong with their world. The whole "episode" would've been narrated through the point of view of a young group of friends trying to figure out what was going on -amongst which would've been the three main kids of course- while trying to escape ghostly figures seemingly taking over the school to finally discover that their mysterious, never-seen before headmistress (the Doctor) was behind it all. She would've been mistaken for a villainous figure before saving them from the ghostly figures, which would've been beings akin to Reapers, attempting to correct the anomalies caused by the Doctor. After a long explanation and a bit of reasoning from her remaining wards, as well as the manifestations of her former companions' wishes to see her give up on her plans through their holograms, the Doctor would have finally decided to go back to the universe, jettisonning the stationary "school" portion of her TARDIS into the Reapers to escape them and letting most of her "students" go back to their lack of existence, at their request, with the exception of Hannah, Elise and Sid, who both want to help the Doctor overcome her fears as a thank for allowing them to live, and want to keep on experiencing the life they never should've had in the first place. I have not figured out yet wether they had a definitive way to escape the Reapers after that or if they would've been reoccuring villains throughout the story with a more "slow-burn" type or reveal regarding the companions' origins but that's the gist of it. Hope it's not too discombobulated a story, it's still very much a first draft, aha !

(Also, I would've probably placed Clara amongst the "teachers" crew, but as her actual immortal self rather than a hologram, having infiltrated the Doctor's bubble after hearing about her acting reclusive and irrationnal. She would've thrown hints at the students about their situation and tried her best to push the Doctor towards coming back to the universe while remaining secretive, never directly involved, just nudging things in the right direction. Probably bringing the Repears in too, wether by mistake or on purpose). (Also also, both Watchers for the Doctor would've emerged of the rubbles of the parts of her TARDIS left behind).

[truckreincarnation]

I’d Much Rather Play the Idiot | Manami | 4.1 | RE: Esmée, Germain

Manami can’t bring herself to look at anyone around her right now. To either side of her, a fallen friend and runaway lover. Directly across, a swathe of empty space where people should have been. To Shin, now in the same boat as her, the same boat as Vee, flanked by death. Two more people she knew he was close to dead. She thinks if she looks at him even a second longer her heart will break even more than it already has right now. The same goes for so many people here, all suffering from these losses. There is exactly one person she thinks she can focus in the direction without shattering her quiet resolve out of sheer despair, and so her eyes settle on him. 

King Calum Calac-Lamity IV will have to do. He’s here for a bit of entertainment, and she will do her best to avoid boring him. She has to, not only out of fear but for the need of a part to play, something just to the left of herself to latch onto. She bows her head to him in polite acknowledgment.

“You, um, you grace us with your presence, Your Majesty.” 

Flattery wasn’t exactly going to earn them any favours, but it sure beat provoking the guy who had not even threatened but promised to ruin their lives into ruining them a little faster. At least his cape in particular gave her somewhere to look that wasn’t too terribly upsetting. Ah, but worrying too much about the smug bastard wouldn’t be very productive. She has to focus on Frank and Luz Victim A and Victim B. There are other persons of interest who will no doubt shed some light on the situation. She’ll let them speak when they’re ready. She figures she should probably share her piece for now, too.

“... I, I was alone for most of the night, admittedly, but I promise I stayed in the tree the whole time. Doing what I could to, um… to keep myself, you know, from laughing or smiling. It's easier by myself. I went for a late walk around the first floor a little bit after 9 just to stretch my legs. I saw Avery and Meme, just like she said. I did see Theophania really briefly at around 9:30, in, um, in the East hallway, but that’s the only, um, only thing I can really imagine being remotely relevant to narrow anything down. I didn’t see the other two basically all night.”

Luz and Frank. One person who she felt like she was really starting to develop a rapport with, and the other who had promised there was still a chance for a happy ending. They… they would both be back. And she believed with her whole heart that the Bound could still be happy. It’d just be cruel if that promise turned out to be a lie. She doesn't speak either of their names out loud for fear they'll be what she trips over and falls apart on.

“... part of me wishes I still hadn’t. I… I’m tired of seeing things like those burns… I almost don’t even want to think about it.”

Not that it's ever mattered what she wanted. Manami will do her best as always - she knows she has to, regardless of her personal desires.

[tinytrivialthoughts]

As I stood there looking at the lifeless man who seemed to be in deep slumber on a chilly winter morning, his folks still trying to digest the fact that he's gone once and for all, an air of helplessness and shock sullied the atomosphere. It was heavy, it was sad, it was unbelievable, interestingly it was the most mysterious few minutes of my life.

DEATH

I've been to quite a few funerals in the past. It was an affair of remembrance and obseisance. Nothing more. It was a natural process and probably meant to be, I used to think to myself. I had processed nothing more than that on this phenomenon. Deeply rooted in the physicality of the world and the material success it had to offer, this reality had never hit me.

This time it was like a ton of bricks, it struck hard, it struck parts of me rooted in vanity, rooted in ambition, rooted in funny ideas of success and happiness

A deep sense of nihilism flooded me, over the next few days whilst I should've been rigorously preparing for my final exams, my head was clouded with existential questions

It almost looked like someone had snapped from above and he had just dropped dead

He didn't have to? Did this healthy man know of this impending end?

What about all the identities he had gathered over this lifetime? What about the people and possessions that he called his?

Is he here as they claim, or where is he off too?

Death, made me look silly. All that I had been carrying. All these ideas and notions, the way I think life should be, the things that I glorify, the things that I look down on, I was a dumb shit of  baggage I was carrying and one day I drop it all, it just goes poof into thin air.

It was an intriguing possibility at the same time a hopeless end.

What it did do was strip me off the things I didn't wanna carry, gave me a sense of life than make me a baggage of opinions, ideas and thoughts, where I run my own tapes inside me ( karma - lets talk about it another day ). .It took me on this ride of observing life for what it is rather than what I think it is. Certainly a ride I didn't sign up for, but clearly life had its plans.

The ride, thankfully did not push me to the nihilistic side as I feared, but rather it made me understand why ambition is good, and essential. Essential is a strong word to use in the same line as ambition, let me justify it separately, its a topic for another day.

But the shift was from vain ambition to a more conscious one. The shift was from self-fulfilling desires to more altruistic ones. The shift was from a life purpose that served my self-image to a more inclusive life purpose that had nothing to do with my self- image.

Breaking up

Oh, the typical 22 year old processing heartbreak. What a stupid way to flush your youth down the drain.

I was in shame for having put myself through this, I promised myself I will not be living a typical life ( again vanity, a bit narcissistic too ), that I shouldn't be obsessing over someone but ironically it has been one of the most liberating experiences. A process of shedding and regrowth. A process of finding myself and a sense of completeness within myself.

When it hit me first, I told myself I am not going to sit and sulk in a corner. No, that's not who I am, I resorted. I sort of didn't, that resolve sure played some role but what I did realize was how interwined your thoughts have become with the other person. How this life perfectly complete and capable of breathing and sustaining itself pines for an addition, asks for that extra, feels so incomplete and incapable of living and existing, that it releases painful chemicals to process the whole situation. I am intentionally making it sound so unromantic.

Oh the days following, especially following something without a closure, an abrupt end, puts you in state of trance. And I started with distracting myself. Signed up for a competitive exam, started exploring a new subject, connected with like minded folks. It worked but last did it not.

what really helped was sitting with myself allowing myself to process the waves of emotion, of sadness and anger and helplessness and grief, being straight with myself and talking about it to loved ones.

I wrote about it, and I had to shed parts of myself. I dropped the baggage eventually, I came out cleansed, lighter and stronger. It made me discover something deep within, a source of everlasting completeness. Moving forward, I understood relationships are a complement, a great sense of addition to who you truly are, they can be beautiful when you co-exist just as you are, but if you let them complete you, you will never get to the source buried deep within.

I write. I wrote. About each of these experiences poetically, and more such. It's been cathartic, a release of sorts. But it has also been deeply revealing about the true nature of things. The way life is. Not how I think it is.

the following are expressions of seeking something larger than myself, the deep need to evolve, to be aligned with it and to most importantly break free from the baggage I/we are carrying, the ideas notions and vain ambitions and to simply exist as life and to find your fullest unique expression here on this short ride. I wrote each of them when a specific emotion overpowered me.

I still wonder if I should just keep it under the wraps, but that would not be true to my discovery, our deeply similar earthy existence although riddled with unique expressions, are we not springing up from the same source? With a deep identity of a seeker and nothing else, I had penned these. Each comes with some music i felt resonated with the theme of the expression, you can choose to play it or skip, it wouldn't make any difference

[d-lissa]

Liveblogging TMA - Season 2 - MAG 72-75

"I feel like I should be upfront with this right at the beginning. I’m probably a cannibal."

TAKEAWAY :

... Oh great. More cannibalism.

But that sure was an opening line.

Gotta say, the graphic descriptions of physical harm had me wincing in pain, but it definitely was one of the most entertaining narrator we've had in the story. He's just some guy !

I guess it is pretty alright for me to assume that, whatever the thing behind the episodes with meat are, it would be probably the closest thing to famine, right ?

And so, Amherst is probably pestilence.

if we're still on the whole "Four of the Apocalypse" thing. But rather, I think they'd be part of the concepts ? For exemple, "Death" is definitely, maybe, probably "The End" right ?

So maybe it is the case for all four of them.

Suplemental, he is WORRIED about his FRIEND and I have FEELINGS about it !!

Why didn't he want Daisy to be there though ?

POLICE LIGHTS :

"As the door opened, every light in the building went dark."

Well, that was not disturbing at all !

Yeah, I so do not believe that Rayner is dead. Like, cute, but I don't buy it. Definitely not the last chapter of this story.

Basira is totally going to die, isn't she ?

Damn it. I liked her.

I have no idea as to why the cult kidnapped the child, or who told the police that they did it, and at this point, I am barely keeping myself from just keep going and give up on this whole liveblogging thing so I can get the rest of the story.

I won't though. Obviously not.

I wonder what Daisy was doing during all of this.

And so, Jonathan is back to being completely alone, surrounded by people he physically can not trust. Guess that asking Basira for help with the tunnels is a no go.

Still, she did care.At least enough to advise him to just get out of here. He really should, honnestly, but at this point, I too am afraid as to what would happen to him if he did. I can't imagine that the title of "Archivist", whatever it means, is an easy one to shed off.

I think Gertrude probably tried very hard already. She didn't seem to enjoy being one.

FATIGUE :

"I tell him I don’t know which day he means, and he laughs and laughs and laughs until my nose begins to bleed."

... Ah.

That one hit a little too close to home.

Definitely a top tier episode for me, right up there with "Hive". I seem to have adquired a taste for those.

I have no idea what Michael is or why he would do that, or if he's even the one doing that, but this hurt to hear.

Supplemental, there were two people in the tunnels, one of them being Sasha, which is. Yeah, I figured. I am glad that Jon saw it though. That he'll focus more on her too.

And then someone else, taking statements. Why, who and how are all a mystery, but we know they have been doing so since at least the beginning of the season, according to the trailer.

This entire situation is such a mess, and at this point, I'm the one feeling fatigued of all the stress and worry I am feeling for Jonathan.

And all I know is that whatever is behind this case in particular would probably be my own fear personified. This one or the one with trapping you with no one in sight while you're struggling against the elements, drifting for so long that you can lose your mind to it.

A LONG WAY DOWN :

" I really hope Grant is dead. Because, if not, I have a horrible feeling deep inside that he’s still on that ladder."

More of the liminal spaces and people trapped in places without anyone around. Unlike with "Freefall", "High Pressure" and "Personal Space" (maybe even "Alone" or "John's Lost Cave", somehow ? There are similarities, but not as many) though,, the person here very much hated what he was forced to do, compared to the others who at first absolutely loved it, were forced to hate their biggest passion in life, and being absolutely terrified of them.

All of those have this concept of infinite places, cut off from everyone. A vast amount of space, seemingly infinite, and yourself trapped with nothing but this place.

Terrifying.

Jon himself makes the connection between Kelly and Michael. I say that Mike, after having been trapped in the book, became some sort of host(?)/avatar(?) of the concept the book belongs to. I wonder if in any other of those spaces, there are more of those gigantic monsters. "Ex Altiora" was, after all, the poem of a monster so big, so large, that people would have rather jumped to their death than confront it.

People in those spaces don't get tired, or hungry or thirsty, right ? They just. Do the same thing over and over again, with no chance to escape.

I am guessing that Simon and the Lukas all follow this one concept, the way the Archive follows the open eye, or the cult does the closed one. A Lukas for each space existing, I guess ?

Ah well.

On the mystery, Basira is back with stolen cassettes because she said ACAB and I love that for her. I do really hope she won't get killed, I just really like her too. Do you think the police too follows a concept ? Maybe a similar one to the Archives' ? Would explain how they got their tip on Maxwell.

I want to know more.

So much more about all of this !

The quote of the post will be :

"The moment I die will feel just the same as this one."

End Liveblogging.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Hello! Could you tell me what you see about my SM/future spouse? Where they are from? What line of work they are in? What physical and personality traits? Thanks! 🐛🐣

Sure! Let’s see what spirit wants you to know. Interestingly every question you asked actually has nothing to do with who they are. All are very 3D based. It’s curious people want to know what their soul mate does for work and not if they love what they do, or want to know what they look like, not what they love most about themselves.

For some reason your ask is prompting this message but this is what spirit means by being human. None of these questions speak to your soulmates essence or what lights them up. And you aren’t the only one to ask this so I’m not trying to like sold you. I just think it highlights vast areas for expansive growth in how people engage with and think about the world and other people. This type of ask indicates there is still a lot of work to do around deprogramming and shedding societal expectations. How you see the world is limited by your own perception and this ask shows me that.

Which immediately gives me the image of an eye doctor, ironically I think your soul mate may be working in a field where they help people literally see clearer (funny because it’s metaphoric). Maybe you also do this but in other ways like with this ask. But yeah, I see them in the eye exam room like tinkering with the machine to help someone get the closest to perfect vision they can. They like this work, I feel like they walk lighter, they like knowing that they are helping people see the world and feel a lot of purpose isn’t their job. They may have a small family practice, they seem to be on a small team that feels like a family and they feel very settled and content with what they do,

Message from soulmate:

I see you! Haha. (They have a good sense of humor very much punchline). But yeah I do help people with vision but I don’t really have visions. I’m pretty straight and narrow, not really spiritual, but I do figure the right person will come along when it’s time. People keep wondering where the spouse is because I’m very settled. I’m not sure where they are, but I just keep focusing on me, I love what I do and who I work with, I go to the gym, which is very fulfilling—I was very scrawny in high school— and I just try to enjoy nature. I have a dog—Australian shepherd, and I spend a lot of time with my niece, it’s my sisters daughter. She’s the apple of my eye, I can’t wait to have kids of my own one day! (They feel very peaceful and grounded and content) I have a nice house that’s just missing you. Maybe one day. Hope we find each other soon. Xoxo —John, Jimmie, James, (some basic J name) Jacob, Jesse? Something

This song came up, probably because of the name Jesse lol, but it may have a message.

I’m not gonna lie, half way through this reading I was distracted by a thought, so I feel like maybe you are distracted as well, that focusing on your soulmate is a distraction, I wrote a poem about romanticizing interactions and I wonder if that may be something you do or should look at? Do you remember things as more mythic or memorable than it truly was. To keep the story interesting and alive?

Druid Craft Tarot

Eight of cups, reversed— “you might have considered leaving a situation or relationship, but the time to leave has not yet come, fear of intimacy or commitment, resisting spending time alone, emotional exhaustion”

Hmm I wonder if that whole me getting distracted thing was like a redirect to your energy because this feels like a message for you and not about your soulmate. They seem really set, are you the one who knows you need to take action and make a change but haven’t? Do you struggle to spend time alone? 8 usually deals with business and abundance and cups deal with emotion so reversed I get the sense it feels like your abundance has been poured out and it’s empty and maybe that’s why you fear making a change, you’re scared to have even less than you do now, but that mindset is holding you back and trapping you in self fulfilling prophecies.

Queen of Swords, upright— “a need to be objective, an intellectual endeavor, success in communications, exams, writing, politics or debates”

Yeah this need to be objective goes back to you romanticizing things. The Queen of Swords is like very much a boss bitch. Swords are air and air represents the mind, this queen has her logic and mental reasoning on point and she uses her cunning and wit to create opportunities for success. Interesting I found myself writing a poem and this comes out, do you write? I think this is saying if you can make the hard decision, you will come out of as Queen of Swords, someone with new wisdom and insight and their head screwed on right.

Hope this helps! Let me know if it resonates.

[kryptonite-unicorn]

Overcome those fears.

So lately the universe has been very aggressively nudging me into situations that are seemingly designed to test the limits of my greatest fears. I know, sounds like I’m being dramatic but I’m not kidding, it’s getting weird here…

Latest test was my very own Trojan Horse. Which now that it’s over, I’m flattered and amused, but at the time, as I was bawling on my bed like a child, texting every person I knew, begging for help, it wasn’t nearly as funny..

So what happened was… (most fish tales start this way, btw) I decided to vamp up my old bike. Clean it, buff off the rust, give it a sweet paint job, maybe even upgrade the basket, ya know, the works. Silly me though, I left it outside, by the shed, In the grass I let grow 4 feet tall, for like 2 years. And I have a mild/soul crushing fear of spiders. But! Knowing this about myself and because I’m a grownup with great ideas, I ask my mom to grab it for me. She does and she even gets my hose for me so I can spray away cobwebs.

Hero status, that lady. But if you’ve ever seen the movie Troy, and if you haven’t, stop now, like stop reading and go do that, then come back, so you’ll know that there’s a moment in every critical situation ever. It’s the “I think we should burn it” moment. And it happens, over and over, every day, to everyone. If you can catch it and ‘burn it’ you win that life challenge and probably didn’t even notice. But if you miss it, you ruin your eyeliner and cry for 3 hours.

So I bring the bike in, to paint on my Twitch stream (twitch.tv/kryptoniteunicorn btw, follow me, I’m sorta fun) and as soon as I flip the bike I see under the seat, huge spider web. Safe to assume it’s a nest. And I don’t know if you’ve ever seen one of those break open. But I had a friend, Krystal, and she got a dresser one day, and I was in her bedroom when that egg popped…. 10,000 reasons to run out of her house and never look back.

I immediately shut off the stream. Freak out. Realize all my friends are equally as petrified of spiders, or just tired of my shit. To be fair, they might also be assholes, jury’s still out. I end up heroically dragging the bike outside. Double locking the back door. And then having my mom get rid of the web the next day. Again, she’s a legend. And as soon as the webs gone and she assures me no baby spider fest, just a web, I drag that motherfucker back inside.

And that’s when I heard it. It wasn’t something said by anyone there. It was like this beautiful, crisp Orlando Bloom accented, twinge in the air. As I’m again pulling the bike inside “I think we should burn it”. And I shake my head as I put it in my office to paint. But fuck me, I go into that office no more than 2 hours after dragging that huge wooden horse inside, and boom, sassy lil’ spider, on the seat. I happened to be holding my biggest propane torch and had to fight my first instinct of burning this whole dumpster fire to the ground, and thus started the spiral of desperation as I was faced with another fear life wants me to overcome.

Now if you’ve read this far, you’ve truly a higher level individual. Congrats. Here’s some more level up fuel. You don’t have to kill the spider. And when life says, “hey, better yourself, face fear, be majestic..”. You have every right to flip it the bird and say no, I did the last one, I’m taking a bi-week and sitting this one out. I imagine Thor, with his epic mighty hammer, probably has a thing that freaks him the fuck out, that’s just his ‘nope’. And that’s cool. He can still fuck shit up. He doesn’t have to always be the hero. Awesome when he is, but everyone needs a nap sometimes. Take the nap, ask for help, accept help. Know it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you real and move onto the next challenge. Appreciate that your fear isn’t everyone’s and know that you have that same power to save someone else from their sad, and try to do it when you can. As my dad used to say, long story short, (nope) it’s okay to not kill the spider.

[zackcrazyvalentine]

can I get some more octavinelle with pregnant!mc? how they would react around mc and when the baby is born if they would cry or anything

in case I'm violating any rules or the requests are closed feel free to delete this! I'm just a big jade simp and I love my octatrio a lot too!

Requests are currently closed.... but.... I'm a sucker for domestic stuff and an Octavinelle stan, so I'm gonna do this anyways asddf

This will be the one exception [note post writing everything: YEAH this will definitely be the ONLY exception.... this is looooong]

Tried to keep everything as gender neutral as possible: when referring to pregnant partner and the babies alike

--

🐙 Azul Ashengrotto 💜

When you're pregnant

Proud papa!! Azul definitely cried from happiness when news of your pregnancy reached him

Was also a nervous wreck, however. He's very insecure about his abilities to be a good father and role model his children would like to follow and look up to

You know him, he's studious and booksmart. Ashengrotto will take to reading many parenting books and blogs entries to prepare himself for the arrival of his baby

Definitely had you both enroll in classes in a local hospital so you know how to act and what to expect when time for labor arrives

Health and being healthy is important to him. For you he will put up with eating all sort of balanced meals, regardless of how much he dislikes them (so you're not alone while keeping up a diet)

Always accompanies you to your gynecology appointments. Cried every time your baby's heartbeat was heard through the echo/ultrasound machine

We know how he is, grown up Azul probably has a business of his own and it takes a good amount of his time to attend. Still, he will take time to call you through the day to make sure you're fine

Probably had either of the twins look after you in days he really couldn't take time off his job. Jade being the more helpful one with chores and emotional rants (you've both probably sniffled at natural documentaries), while Floyd is perfect for food prep and hysterical laughs over fail videos

Every night, before going to bed, he spends time talking to your baby bump, places some kisses on it too

He goes sooooo soft in those moments before sleep takes you away, his love lulls you to refreshing rest

Always makes sure to give you a kiss and a rub goodbye to your bump when heading off to work

Really enjoys watching you cook. the pregnancy glow looks beautiful on you when doing mundane tasks, he thinks

Maternity pictures? He's a little reluctant, but if you really want to... *end up carrying a small copy of his favorite pic in his wallet* *sends a copy of the whole pack to his mother and grandma* *frames his favorite and puts it on his office*

When you're in labor/the baby arrives

SCREEEAAAAMS!!!!

But after a nice yell of surprise, fear and nerves, he's ready to go and put your plan of action learned in those classes ready!

He's collected for the most part, but every time you scream from the contractions, he screams too because "he can feel it"... but it's really just his nerves getting out of hand

However, once you get to the hospital, this man will burst in and yell loud and clear "SOMEONE HELP ME, MY SPOUSE IS IN LABOR!!!" because the ride was so stressful he can't hold it together anymore

Be it through natural labor or C-section, Azul will want to hold your hand and be there for you through it all.... He might get light headed at times, but again, he'll push through anything to make sure you and the baby are fine

If he somehow manages to translate his grip strength to his human form now that he's older, he will be squeezing your hand just as hard as you're squeezing

Is a mess of tears once your child's first cry echoes through the room. It feels so relieving and miraculous.... You're now parents to your first little baby!!

Can't help to smile so tenderly at his chubby little angel. Runs a finger delicately against their cheek and sheds more tears at how warm and soft and alive they are

"My precious little pearl... What a blessing you are, little one, already making us so joyous. Welcome"

Azul holds his child so gently. If you had a glow while pregnant, Azul has a glow as a new father. You swear you can see a golden halo around him whenever he's pampering and carrying your child

Reads them a bedtime story every day. They may not understand him, but Azul wants to acquaint them to his voice quickly

Since he has paperwork to do at home, there have been times the octomer left you to sleep while he attended the baby's necessities. It relaxes him, and the rocking to get them back to sleep refreshes him. How can one not be powered up after seeing a plump little munchkin sound asleep with a smile on their face?

This private moments with the baby get him emotional, has probably cried during all of them. He just feels blessed with a mountain of happiness when he sees his baby sleep so comfortably, knowing they're surrounded by love and care.

Is curious to see if his baby will manifest a merfolk form later in life, or manifest any sort of magical powers.

BONUS: It was during a family vacation to the beach during their 2nd year in primary school where your child manifested their mer-form. They were ecstatic!!

🐬 Jade Leech 💜

When you're pregnant

His expression was as collected as always, but his heart jumped into outer space when he got the news of your pregnancy. Held you close and kissed you with so much passion and love, you saw a new Jade that day.

He thinks you don't notice, but the loving gaze he shoots your way when doing the most random things around the house is so soft, your heart stops every time (think of his lab coat groovy, that smile)

Like Azul, he's very keen on keeping you healthy. Along with a proper diet, he makes sure you take your daily supplements

But he turns a blind eye when you wish to indulge a liiiittle too much on that snack you adore

With his big appetite, it doesn't come as a surprise that he willingly subjects himself to your strange cravings

Jade is another one that accompanies you to each and every doctor's appointment. Is well read of what to expect in every month mark, so he asks the most questions to clear up any doubts you may have.

His eyes filled with tears when hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time. Held your hand tightly and kiss your forehead so many times while you were in the ultrasound room

While he's patient, sometimes your mood swings also get him in a sour mood. Thankfully, he has a way to destress with his job and terrariums. It's not long into the day when he calls to apologize for any dumb things he said, and to make sure you're doing fine

Floyd sometimes tags along to your home. It's always 50/50 on what it'll be: nice funny harmony, or utter disastrous chaos that leaves you sobbing in your husband's arms.

Perhaps the one thing Jade dislikes of your pregnancy is ho hard it is for you to find a position to sleep in because your constant tossing and turning interrupts his sleep every time

Jade speaks to your bump in whispers. Likes to lay his head on your lap and talk to the baby. He tells stories of his childhood, tells the little one how much they're loved, and sometimes indulges in singing

He also likes to play classical music for your bun

The one thing he adores? Feeling your baby kick, it always lights up his face with a bright pointy smile

If you want maternity photos, Jade is quick to convince! He acts like it embarrasses him, but he does secretly want some nice pictures to commemorate this period in your lives (plus, Mama Leech wants some to display in her home!)

When you're in labor/the baby arrives

His mind is running a mile a minute. Excuse him is he calls you "hospital" instead of your name, everything's flashing before his eyes quicker than he can register.

Would crash the car into the entrance from how fast everything's happening, but he doesn't. He does carry you to the front desk and hurriedly pants "Spouse, baby, NOW! HELP!!"

For x or y reason, Jade ends up waiting to hear the news of you and the baby. He's not in the room with you. The whole time he's left alone, he's bouncing his feet and pacing back and forth. In a short moment of clarity, he dials up Azul and notifies him of the situation, asking the octomer to pass the information to his twin and parents.

With how long births are, it shouldn't be surprising to see Mama and Papa Leech, Floyd and Azul arrive at the hospital. However, with how worried and stressed he is right now, it does catch Jade by surprise.

This moment of uncertainty, of not being by your side, is the one time where the eel lets his emotions and thoughts go unfiltered.... which may provoke his twin a little. But it's exactly these small quarrels that snap sense into him and remind him that he should focus his attention on doctors and nurses for any possible news about you. They also help refresh and keep him awake

His mother and Azul are the most helpful, calming him down and quelling his anxieties about your and the baby's safety

The moment he sees the familiar face of one of the doctors that entered the same room as you, he's up and speedwalking to them.

As soon as the merman gets permission to see you, he's already making his way to you

Finally, he can rest and let it all out. There's visible tears flowing out his eyes and sobs coming out of him while he holds your little bundle of joy. Not even a thousand kisses are enough to show his gratitude to all that you've done for him

He was already in love with your baby the moment he laid eyes on them, but once their tiny hand wrapped around his finger.... HE WAS DONE FOR, THIS BABY WOULD BE SPOILED BY PAPA FOR ALL ETERNITY. In fact, it was this moment the one that made him ugly cry

His instincts got the best of him. Jade literally snapped around to bite his father and Floyd when they got a too close to the sleeping baby. By a miracle he allowed his mother coddle them for a split second. Can you blame the poor man? He's sleep deprived and stressed, cut him some slack

Once he got some rest, Jade was embarrassed by his words and actions, but oh well... The past is in the past

He adores spending time with your baby. Every time he's in charge of bathing them, he does the cutest babytalk. He lives to see them giggle and relax in the water

Feeding time is also one of his favorites, and you also enjoy it too. Jade is just wonderful when taking care of the baby, your heart swells and a smile reaches your lips (partly because he turns so silly to make the little one eat)

He is helpful when attending the child at night, but whenever he had a stressful day at work he pleads you to go and calm them down

Talking about stressful days, feel free to send him some selfies and pictures of your baby through the day. They surely will cheer him up a little while he works.

When your child starts attempting to talk, Jade will go along with it. He nods and answers attentively to anything your baby says

BONUS: At around 5 years of age, your kid turned into their merfolk form in the middle of bath time. They cried from panic while Jade had a proud smile on his face

🦈 Floyd Leech 💜

When you're pregnant

He takes a minute to process the news. Frankly, he's nervous about this big leap, but he's sure he wants to have kids with you. His excitement may be subdued at first, but you will see him throw more smiles and tender gazes your way within the following weeks

If you notice him spacing out during the first weeks, urge him to speak out. It will take many tries to get him to open up, but one night he goes to spoon you, hand carefully caressing your tummy. "I'm unsure... isn't this... too fast?"

Understand that his doubts are more about feeling unprepared (specifically him, he has no clue how to even begin preparing), not about not wanting to have kids. "Accidents happen, Floyd, we can't control every variable in our lives. We have one another, I'm certain that together we can do this."

"Plus, we can always consult your parents." Cue a groan from him, but soon after there was a smile

Slow but steady, Leech begins researching and reading up about parenting and pregnancy. Lemme tell ya, he's not looking forward to the mood swings. Sure enough, when they arrive, he handles them very poorly. At the end of every day, however, he hugs you close while in bed and asks for forgiveness through kisses to your back

He sometimes gets bored by all the technical talk your gynecologist speaks, but follows their orders to a T. They're the professional, he barely knows the surface of what your body's going through.

After being told that was the baby's heartbeat, Floyd's wide mismatched eyes remained glued to the monitor showing the silhouette of his little bun. Chills coursed through him and his eyes watered, heart leaping with joy.... It felt so strange, but he didn't wish this magical emotion to stop

He probably buys you one of those pill organizers with pretty colors so you know and he knows if you've taken your supplements

Whenever he has a very shitty day at work, being greeted by you waddling up to him due to your feet hurting from carrying the baby once he arrives home is the best. It makes him chuckle, but he soon drops down to place a kiss to your tummy to dispel any irritation you may feel his way after his small laugh

About work... Azul kinda lets him do as he pleases, he's aware there's no changing his decision. If he wants to skip half the shift to keep an eye on you, he allows it. But Floyd must heed important calls whenever he's summoned urgently.

Will ask to bath together. Intimate, soothing, and relaxing. Bathing with you while hugging you from behind to feel the bump reassures him you're both doing a good job so far, that there's nothing to fear

It's mainly in the few seconds before bedtime that he drops onto your lap to chat with the little one. Likes to hum melodies to the bump

He has a little game where he'll poke at your belly and wait to see if the baby kicks the spot he prodded

Sometimes, Azul pops up for a visit. Very calming to have the grey haired to talk to about emotional messes. Jade sometimes calls to make sure you're both fine and have everything you need. If he visits, they're short and to the point.

Maternity photoshoot?? Nah, he'll pass.... but if you are stubborn and very insistent, he relents. You better not send them to his parents behind his back (but you totally do, of course).

When you're in labor/the baby arrives

You want chaos? Because you definitely got chaos! Don't get me wrong, Floyd is actually doing a tremendously amazing job carrying your bag and yourself to the car. He's actually driving superb while reminding you to take repeat the breathing exercises you were taught. It's just...... the other people's slow pace and stupidity the ones making him yell profanities

Absolutely throws his signature crazed look at the first nurse he finds when asking, no, demanding help

That crazed look was reason enough to keep him out of the room you'd be in, his consequent aggressiveness after given the news is an even grater reason. If you can muster it, tell him you will be okay and to trust the doctors.

Sits on the closest waiting space to your room. Probably goes up to a bending machine and punches it a couple times to release some of the tension (he got a free snack, too)

Now it's when the nervousness settles in. He's so afraid at having you and his child away from him, he's worried about everything. May shed a couple tears of frustration, fear, and stress. His instincts tell him to protect you even if he knows there's nothing to protect you from, you're in a hospital for goodness sake!

That's when he calls Jade for comfort, and soon after dials his mother. It's her voice the one that helps him break through the confusing fog in his mind to go back and sit as close to your room as he can

Probably ends up stress eating everything in that vending machine he punched as he waits for any news about you and the baby He's munching on the last bit of a candy bar when a new one crosses his field of vision. It's Jade, with a bag full of treats, and some much needed water. Azul's beside his twin

It feels strange, but Floyd feels very vulnerable and needs the familiarity both of them bring. He lets his head fall on Jade's shoulder, which the twin takes as cue to hug him by placing an arm around his shoulders. Azul kneels in front of him and asks "How are you feeling, Floyd?"

"Scared.... and alert. Like I need to protect them, but... I know they're safe." He probably ends up crying a little more right then. After being calmed down by Azul, he probably sleeps for 10 minutes

Wakes up to find his mother replacing Jade by his side, and his dad is also with them now. Definitely feels much better after some shut eye and after seeing he's now surrounded by familiar faces

When he hears his name be called out by the doctor, he's immediately shooting up and throwing questions at the doc. Thankfully, the professional firmly states everything went swimmingly and he can now see you.

Will you look at that? TWO little babies are waiting to meet him!

You're holding one, and the second cutie is placed in his arms and.... There come the waterworks again It was such a natural reaction, he had no time to try and suppress it. Not like he would've wanted to, but the way you "aww"ed at him made him feel a little embarrassed

The twin in his arms reached out and tugged his black strip of hair after it tickled their face, Floyd couldn't help giggle

He can't lie, his arms were shaking the whole time he held the little one. He was scared of hurting them...or dropping them

He wonders how everyone missed the elusive second baby, but he's so happy!! He has two cute kids!! Oh, you're such a wonderful and strong parent! You carried their weight combined and powered through the pregnancy just like that!

He really wants to climb into your bed and hold you so close, but he knows you need rest. Settles for peppered kisses all over your face while uttering "I love you, thank you" in between

While his instincts do tell him to chase away the "dangerous" males away from his newborn kids, Floyd does let his father get close and look at the babies along with his mom. Jade and Azul are a different story, however, he growled at them.

Like Jade, Floyd loves spending time with his twins! His top fav is bathing the twins because he's always eager to see if they will turn into merfolk (spoilers: they do!! And quite early! A few months after their 1st birthday!)

Another thing he loves doing is laying a blanket on the floor and watching his cuties play with their toys and giggle at each other

He tried their baby food once and decided to make homemade baby food from then on. He says he wants his little ones to taste only good things since those prepackaged stuff taste terrible. Just keep an eye on his spice use.

Night necessities are your task though, he does not take kindly to being interrupted in his sleep

He likes reenacting baby photos of him and Jade with his babies

Once his kids get the hang of their mer-form, most of your vacations will be under the sea~

[astaroth1357]

Brothers Accidentally Make the MC Cry

Hello, this is the obligatory italics blurb that I have to put under my titles or else things look weird and it bothers me. Don’t mind the blurb. The blurb is a friend. (Though I could start writing pieces of a little story up here just to see if anyone even reads them… Hm…. Ideas, ideas...)

Warning: Angsty

Lucifer 

If he were being honest, he’d say that a part of him had always feared this would happen...

Lucifer likes to tell himself that he’s invincible, but everyday stresses can get to him just like anybody else. And like other people, he may not always act his best when he’s dealing with a full plate…

The MC hadn’t meant to make his day harder when they told him that they accidentally broke a lamp. It was a genuine accident! But Lucifer was still dealing with the fallout from another one of Mammon’s failed schemes, Satan had cursed all of his ties again, and Beel had eaten every scrap of food in the House… for the second time that week...

In comparison to everything else, a broken lamp was quite minor, but for Lucifer it was just the last straw and, for just a moment, he lost control…

His palm slamming against his desk hard enough to snap its legs and send it crashing to the ground. He scarcely knew what kind of look he had on his face, but whatever it was, he had made his human jump back in shock...

Really, it was silly for them to assume that he had gotten that upset over a lamp, but he saw tears starting to gather in their eyes all the same as they stammered out a quiet apology… 

It felt like an ice spike to the heart. Damn his temper… He really ought to have been more careful with them after… well, everything he’d done before…

He was quick to go over to them, catching their face with his hand and giving them the most sincere apology he could muster while wiping away their tears… Overreactions aren’t becoming of him and he hated to cause them pain… 

He, of course, took care of the lamp himself as penance and on the surface that seemed to be it (but to anyone paying attention, he had softened up on the MC considerably for at least a week. They probably could have sworn in front of Diavolo and he’d let it slide, he felt that bad about it...)

“I’m sorry, MC, I shouldn't have reacted like that… You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise… Please, there’s no need to cry…”

Mammon

Oh? What's that? His heart is now in a million pieces now...? Well, that seems fair…

He and the MC were out on one of his gambling nights and he was actually on a killer winning streak for once! Jackpots around every corner, he was rolling in it!

The MC had tried to convince him to just throw in the towel early, take his winnings while he had them and bail, but he wasn’t hearing any of it.

In hindsight, their insistence must have really shown how much the MC cared about him and wanted him to keep his earnings... but in the heat of the moment all he saw was someone trying to spoil his one night of fun.

To be fair to Mammon, it’s rather rare for him to lose control of his anger like he did. But when they tried to pull him away from the roulette table, he genuinely snarled at them and told them to get lost...!

Fortunately, he regretted his actions immediately after he saw the hurt in their eyes…

If their goal had been to get him to step away from the table, they achieved it. But only because he got up to pull them into a hug while stammering out apologies… Watching them actually shed tears hurt worse than any rope Lucifer had ever tied around him...

He spent the rest of the night away from the casino and trying to cheer up his human like his life depended on it... Seeing them in pain just tore him up that much.

"Ah, come on MC… I'm sorry, honest…! Please don't look at me like that, I'll do whatever ya want okay...? Just no more cryin…"

Leviathan 

Now thinks he's the worst, literally the worst. Lower than lesser demon spit. Lower than Cerberus' shit. Lower than… well, you get the idea…

Levi can get very… intense when things involving his passions are brought up. This can be a fairly endearing quality… but it also means he gets disproportionately impassioned about seemingly minor things.

Levi ended up snapping at the MC when they let him over-sleep one day. This wasn’t unusual for them to do as Levi’s sleep schedule was notoriously shitty, but they shouldn't have done it that particular day…

An item he wanted on Akuzon was going to go live that morning and he had to be awake to participate in the bidding. He had mentioned it to the MC the day before, but he blew past it so quickly they didn’t actually remember…

He found out that he missed the bidding after he woke up and he was pissed. Genuinely enraged that they didn’t remember to wake him up to the point that he was shouting and baring his fangs! 

… Really it was not a good look and he should have known better.

The look of fear and the tears gathering in the MC’s eyes snapped him out of it like a hard slap to the face, and somehow, it stung even more than that would’ve... It wasn’t long before he was crying along with them, practically begging for forgiveness...

He made it up to them by having a private showing of their favorite movie using a projector in the Planetarium, cuddling with them under a blanket while still, occasionally, muttering apologies under his breath.

“M-MC…? MC don’t cry…!! Please don’t cry, I- I’m sorry!! I… MC… I’m so sorry…”

Satan

Like Lucifer, he always worried this would happen and he hated when it finally came to pass…

He’d spent all his life learning how to restrain his temper, but it’s not a perfect science. There are the occasional times where the heat of the moment gets the better of him and he does something he regrets…

The MC had walked in on him one morning while he was fuming about Beel leaving the fridge empty again. It hadn’t been the first time they’d seen him like this, but this time he was absolutely furious.

He had told Beel again and again and again to get his snacking under control or to, you know, get up early and get more food so the whole family wouldn’t spend the morning starving but noooo! Mr. I’m Hungry never thinks about anything but his own stomach and then leaves whoever’s on kitchen duty to pick up the slack like some dimwitted muscle-bound meathead and THEN-!!

When the MC tried to take his arm to calm him down, he jerked their hand away from him and roared right in their face. He may not be a lion, but the full sound of a pissed off demon could make humans have breakdowns all on its own…

Which was more or less what the MC began to do as he gripped their wrist, panicking while taking shallow, stuttered breaths…

Satan's anger left him swiftly and he let them go, only reaching out to touch them again when he tried to wipe the tears from their cheeks… He had to coo and beg for them to calm down, which was only so successful because he was fighting back tears himself… 

On a scale of 1-10 of the worse things his temper has ever done, he'd rank this a firm 200... He refused to touch them for about a week afterwards and it took a long time for him to trust himself again… He just didn't want to hurt them...

"MC?? MC…? M… Oh no… MC, I'm so sorry, I would never hurt you! I… I wouldn't dare… please believe me..."

Asmodeus 

Oh baby! Sweetheart! Love of his life!! No, please no… don't subject him to this…

MC and Asmo were out dancing and some witch came by to try and flatter him.

Now, Asmo is a flirt normally, but get a few drinks in him and well… Let's just say his love of attention overrides his better judgment far more often than it should and friends don't let friends go home with creepy witches.

When the MC told the witch to scram, Asmo was confused and, frankly, quite irritated. That lovely lady had been stroking his ego in all the right ways and his human just scared her off so rudely!

Under most situations, Asmo would have kept his cool better but the haze of Demonus made his tongue loose... which let the venom fly…

He couldn’t quite remember what he said. The words left his mouth so quickly that they slurred together on his clumsy tongue, but it must have been enough because the MC flinched away from him.

That hurt all on its own, but as he started to process the pain in their eyes… he had never sobered up so fast...

He had their cheeks cupped in his hands and were kissing away their tears within the instant. Though the loud music at the club should have drowned out his apologies, the MC could see it written all over his equally tearful face…

He pulled them into his arms and then out of the club shortly after, the fog of Demonus that plagued him just moments before had long left him and all he knew was that the MC needed to be brought home and cuddled… stat.

“M-MC…? I’m sorry was it something… did I…? I’m so sorry… Please don’t cry…!”

Beelzebub 

He really didn't mean to shout so loud… honest... 

Beel becomes a completely different person when he’s hungry. He’s not entirely to blame, as his hunger can get so intense, but he still can snap from time to time when he really doesn’t mean to…

It was right after one of his practices and Beel hadn’t gotten a chance to eat in a few hours by the time the MC came to grab him from RAD. That already had him in a bad mood, but practice hadn’t gone too well for him either… 

He honestly didn’t realize how sharply he snapped at the MC when they asked him how he was. The irritation and frustration of the day all hit him at once and he became much harsher towards them than he ever intended…

It must have been the shock of seeing ever-sweet Beel suddenly get so aggressive with them that startled them so. He saw a couple tears gathering in their eyes before they could hide them and his heart just sank…

The MC was picked up in a crushing bear hug before they even let out their first sniffle. Beel didn’t even have to say how sorry he was, they could feel it in every squeeze he gave them. All while he completely ignored the growling of his stomach...

Beel wouldn’t let them go until he was certain they’d forgiven him which, honestly, took a while. Mammon was the one to ask why he had carried them all the way back to the House like a baby but… well, he didn’t need to know, now did he?

“MC, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have shouted… Are you alright...?”

Belphegor 

Stubborn boi is stubborn and trying really, really hard not to crack right now...

That's not going to last long.

Belphie can be a bit of a brat and since he's the baby of the family so he's used to getting his way. He and the MC don't argue a ton, but when they do, he always digs his heels in and refuses to budge an inch on anything.

So what started out as a simple disagreement on how often Belphie would flake out on his chores turned into a kick-the-door-down argument over how much his laziness left the MC to pick up the slack...

It ended as all their barn burning arguments do, with demon-form Belphie sitting cross-legged on his bed refusing to look at them and the MC angrily pacing about the room until he cools off…

And then he heard it.

First a sniffle… and then a hiccup. Another sniffle then muffled whine…

Oh no… not this… Why are they crying…? They don't normally cry…

To his credit (or perhaps discredit), he managed to hold out for about two minutes before he finally glanced back at them. Seeing the MC wiping their tears all alone on the floor crumbled his resolve real quick.

The MC found themselves enveloped by Belphie's arms before they even noticed he got up. Naturally, he was pouting and trying to make it seem like "not a big deal or anything" but they could tell by the nervous twitch of his tail that he was hurting too…

Needless to say. Belphie started remembering his chores a lot more after that.

"Humans are so fragile… I didn't mean to make you cry, you know? I'll get things done just… Don't cry… please…"

[satans-left-asscheeky]

i just found your blog and i love it! i was gonna ask if its ok for an addition for the raider boss sole reaction? what if sole pulls them aside and shows them a 12 step program they made to rehabilitate the raiders they got. its a long complicated list. they even made a fake settlement with volunteers to help slowly reintegrate the raiders into peaceful society? just a fun thought!

Okay so I'm not sure if you meant just the raider bosses, or everyone so I'm just gonna do everyone to be safe. Hope that's okay (Also sorry this to so long rip)

Also sorry if the raider bosses are really out of character or rough around the edges this is my first time writing for them 🤷

Maccready

Hes not impressed by the idea. He has zero confidence or faith it will work and is super pessimistic whenever sole brings up the topic. though if the rehabilitation was to work though he'd grumble a whispered sorry through gritted teeth and buy sole and the ex-raiders all around of drinks.

Hancock

He'd be skeptical everything good in the commonwealth has a price and it's usually not a pretty one either, but he'd still be hopeful and try his best to help sole because hell if the prospect of a raider less world didn't sound great. If it worked he'd be thrilled and a massive party would be thrown in goodneighbor to congratulate sole and the ex raiders

Cait

The only way in Cait mind to deal with a raider is to have them on the other side of her shotgun. She's seen Raiders and nothing anyone says will change the fact that deep down their scum no amount of elbow work is ever gonna change it. Even if it did work she would never trust the ex raiders and would probably become very wairy around sole too out of fear of them being the one to have changed.

Danse

He loves the idea in theory, but much like Hancock he fears its far to idealistic, but he'll be damned if he dosent at least try. If and when it worked he'd report the findings to elder maxson and let him decide to do with the ex raiders.

Curie

She loves the idea. She'll document the whole process thoroughly even going as far as to daily ask the Raiders how they feel about the situation. After it works shed probably talk to Piper about publishing her findings to get more traction in the press. Her new goal is riding the world of all raiders.

Deacon

People don't change. Not really. Their actions may temporarily change to help them reach their own goal, but a raider is a raider no fixing it neater how hard you try. Trying to change a raider is even harder than trying to change a bigot which the railroad has been working at for years. If it did somehow work he'd probably have an existential crisis

Piper

Would be extremely interested like curie documenting every detail and reporting her findings in her notes pad. If it worked she'd be ecstatic and immediately run off to write her paper.

Nick

he'd probably work along side curie and Piper in documenting everything and helping give a detectives perspective. After it worked he'd definitely be sure to make note of it and keep the experiment in mind when working on future projects.

Preston

YES! in so many words yes if it wasn't his idea in the first place he will put all of his effort into this project because THIS is what the commonwealth needs in order to rebuild!

X6-88

He doesn't understand the purpose even if you did manage to make it work somehow. In his mind it's the exact same as asking the dirt on your boots to leave rather than cleaning the boot.

Gage

If you somehow managed to force him he'd go, but don't expect him to do any self reflection or changing. But if somehow so way you manged to get past his thick walls and barriers and into his rotten little raider heart and cause chnage he might just start to taking some time to think. After some time and reflecting on his past and present actions he'd think about what he wanted his future to look like and for the first time in a long time he didn't know. He'd spent so long just trying not to die was it possible?

Well if it was hed quit being a raider, but by no means does that mean hed play nice in his next job. He'd most likely end up as the secretary in Dimond city with a bit of money laundering on the side. ESPECIALLY if sole was mayor after the mcdonough business. Honestly in that scenario not much would change just slightly less murder and maybe (and this is a big stretch mind you) a bit more baths every now and then.

Nisha

She wouldn't say anything because words couldn't do justice to the graphic seen playing in her head. If somehow she was able to get past wanting to murder sole she'd maybe reflect and come to the conclusion perhaps her bloodlust was a bit of a problem, but how could she simply rid herself of the violence she craves so deeply?

Well if she was able to rehabilitate into society she'd become a butcher. She'd probably have the best meat and make hella bank too.

Mason

Heh wtf? Mason would probably be the second most pissed (first being Nisha obvi). If he was able to calm down and think reasonably he'd probably come to his senses and see that maybe making animals fight eachother wasn't the best thing to do.... Actually he'd feel kinda bad. deep down he really does like animals and the violence was just a desperate ploy for control in the chaos.

After some internal change he'd probably venture off to far harbor to help raise and sell dogs with Erikson. The two of them would become good friends and find peace and bond over the fact that they both were outcasts but against all odds made a life for themselves.

Mags black

She'd be upset at first, but like the opportunist she is shed try and figure out how to make the best of it. She'd end up doing the self evaluation quite naturally considering how painfully self aware she already is.

She'd probably end up in bunker Hill with her own caravan and crew. The only reason she became a raider in the first place was the paycheck, but if she'd known how much money she could make by transporting shit she'd have done it alot sooner.

[foramomentonly]

3.08 Alex Meta

I don't usually do meta and maybe all of this will be a very, "Duh, Nat!" moment for you. But 3.08 was a huge Alex episode for me. I feel like I understand him on a totally new and deeper level, and I'm seeing a direct character line from S1 and to some of the questions and issues many of us had in S2.

Spoilers for RNM 3.08 below.

As I might have said ten thousand times previously, I relate to Alex a lot. His compartmentalization, his emotional distance, his seeming inability to correctly identify and name a damn feeling. Like, same, man.

But 3.08, in my opinion, completely blew that all up. Because Alex is pretty clear in his story: he has all the emotions, he just no longer feels safe acting on them. And when I think about Alex in the flashbacks we've had, that totally tracks. Teen Alex is a walking ball of emotions and he is not afraid to act on them. His whole vibe is "pissed at the world," which, valid. He's angry, so he punches Kyle. He's moved by Michael and his situation, so he offers to help. He unapologetically feels and acts on those feelings. He's in love, so he keeps seeing Michael even after the events of the shed (Rest on a Bloody Bed of Rusty Nails, Jesse Manes). Alex is brave and bold with his emotions and even though Jesse and others are no doubt giving him hell for it, he doesn't stop.

Cut to S1 Alex, who vacillates between wildly passionate, closed off, angry, ice king. He pushes and pulls with Michael and we don't really know why and it's an emotional whiplash that carries over into at least the beginning of S2. I always understood this as Alex not knowing his own feelings, acting in the moment on what he wants and later talking himself out of it, denying himself out of fear.

But that's not it, is it? Alex is fully aware of his feelings, apparently, he just doesn't see acting on them as safe anymore. He gets home and he runs into Michael and everything, all that love and desire is still there and his impulse is to act on it and he does, but his experiences have taught him that his emotions are dangerous. And if all he's ever done is try protect Michael, he does that by trying to lock his feelings for Michael away, pull back when he loses control and acts on them. He's still learning how to do this in S1, and that pull toward Michael is strong (cosmic, almost?) and I think that's where that back and forth comes in.

None of this is that new, though. What's new to me is the understanding that hiding/feeling/repressing emotions isn't instinctual for Alex! It's learned behavior, and not even from his time with Jesse, but this experience in war.

And let's talk about that story, huh? A lot of us assumed (myself included) that Alex's rigidity, his tendency to bulldoze over other people's boundaries and take charge is born of stubbornness, of believing he's always right, that he must be in control to feel safe. But what I heard Alex tell me in his story is fuck, no, he's knows how wrong he can be, he's failed on a massive level already, caused hurt and pain to himself and others. He's not a hero. He's a mess. (We all knew that. But a lot of us operated on the idea that Alex didn't know that about himself.) Everything he does is to avoid causing further harm and chaos in the future.

Obviously, he still does. I don't want to discount that. And he's still accountable for it. But I think it's significant that Alex isn't operating from a position of superiority after all (I mean, he probably still is a little, he's Alex, his class privileges are still there), he's operating more from a place of knowing how completely and utterly he's fucked up before and wanting desperately to avoid that in the future. And to him, a man who lives his whole life in extremes (fucking drama queen, I mean lol), the way to avoid that happening is to go in the total opposite direction. To push down his natural emotions, ignore his instincts because they can't be trusted (Which, hey, maybe that's why he's got Kyle on speed dial every time he has to make a decision!), and strategize the shit out of everything. And it scares the fuck out of him that Michael, the person he most wants to avoid experiencing harm or being put in danger, acts on feeling and instinct and all the things that Alex believes caused his own epic failure that cost literal life and limb.

I used to think Alex and Michael were opposites, one a live wire of emotion and instinct, and the other the keeper of approximately three feelings and he hates them all. But I think now that they are extremely alike. They're both driven by emotion, instinct, heart, but Alex has forced himself to ignore all that and think like a computer, and Michael still lives his life by his them, still inherently trusts them. I've always loved and admired that about him, and I think that's part of what Alex loves, too, even though it scares him.

There's a whole nother meta's worth of stuff in the episode of how Alex's journey to trusting and working with Michael as an equal parallels Liz's storyline with Rosa (Liz and Alex are so alike, I die!) and yet another about the phenomenal pattern of growth with see from Malex, and especially Alex, throughout the episode. For a literal, step-by-step breakdown, ask the incomparable @adiwriting very nicely, who went OFF in the best way about it last night in our DMs. Like she could draw you a diagram.

This episode just gave us so much. Damn. It wasn't perfect, of course, and I would have liked to see Alex and Malex's development and growth happen over the course of the season, not jammed a single episode. But I love what we got and what it's taught me is I didn't know shit about Alex, but I had a lot of fun learning.

End meta.