#shedoeshim

[shedoeshimfashion]

hi

[farmerlesbian]

im agender and butch but i feel like... because im black i dont have the same access to androgyny and masculinity that other people do. the image of butchness or androgyny i see is always light skinned and fine haired and im just not that. it makes me feel like im never going to be read the way i want to or taken seriously as a gnc person. makes me really uncomfortable to go out

I'm going to answer this and will tell you first up that I'm white. My wife/spouse mod horseshoe is Black and has very similar experiences and feelings. when I saw your ask I right away thought of her and showed her, asked if she wanted to answer. She told me she doesn't know how she can help you when she hasn't figured it out either.

So I will tell you that one, you are not alone. Two, I will answer you similar to how I support her. and three, she is consulting on this ask (as she does on many advice asks, in fact!)

I'm sorry you're going through this, and especially that it's affecting your comfort in going out and being around people.

One thing I have done to try to help is find other darkskin Black folks that are doing gender in similar ways to her, on the internet. Just finding images of people who are similar I hope helps. I'm not particular about what exactly their identities are, just going for style and vibes. Lemme grab some (sorry it's leaning on instagram just bc it's easier for me to search accounts i follow there haha but I swear there are cool black gendery people everywhere, i'm sure you know this)

jade fox / madeyoulooks

studmodelproject on instagram

enxwest on instagram

iamdivinechi on instagram

arrows fitz / angryangryarrows and angryarrows

@boychic

ceruleanblueboy on instagram

tboys.club on instagram - a party in london that posts lovely photos of attendees

shedoeshim on instagram and @shedoeshimfashion

followers - if this sounds somewhat similar to you please go ahead and say something! or if you have any recommendations also please add them!

you can check out my style tag for like every post I've reblogged/shared that has images of people in it. it’ll have all types of people, but maybe it’ll help. you can also scroll back through my butch tag but that will not include every masc person in it. also the stud tag, and you can consider the stemme identity + label but i don't really have much in that tag rn sorry! maybe try checking the tags for these on tumblr, tiktok, instagram, maybe youtube? maybe you'll find people that look like you, or how you want to look.

my point here is that there ARE people out there doing androgyny, doing gender fun stuff and are Black and darkskin. maybe the people i'm recommending here aren't your vibe or style and that's totally fine, there are a lot of ways to be! i hope these can serve as some sort of inspiration for you. a reminder that gender diversity and androgyny exists and is possible for black people, that there are thriving communities and you have all sorts of options out there for you. also, remember that there are many ways to be androgynous, to be agender. maybe you're more a dapper butch, maybe more a sporty stud, maybe a skate style street style guy, maybe more a crunchy granola hiking outdoorsy look, maybe workwear and denim are more your speed, maybe you're a cozy dude who likes sweats and casual clothes, maybe you like bright colors and patterns, maybe you're into alt and goth styles, maybe you feel more comfortable in vintage and retro stuff. i promise that there is a way for you to look hot and feel comfortable in yourself and people will see your fabulous Black gender noncomforming self.

If you're into podcasts I recommend genderreveal by tuck woodstock- you can skip around and just listen to the episodes that interest you. I'm listening in chronological order because I kinda like going through time and seeing the development of things but you absolutely do not have to. There's a lot of episodes out, they've been doing it for a couple years now! there are plenty of interviews with black people of all gender varieties talking about their experiences and lives

i think. what's hard is that you can’t control how other people see you. you've got to come to terms with this. so you're most likely always going to have people not getting you, not understanding your deal (whether that's gender or something else). there's no foolproof way to get out of it or avoid it, no way to be 100% sure people will always gender you right or treat you right. this is not to say that you will never have people who get you, you certainly will and i wish that for you! i absolutely recommend you surround yourself with people you are supported by and who see you. but i'm not gonna tell you like "fuck what people think, do whatever you want" because i know it's not that easy ! trust your judgement, and trust your gut. all you can do is try to balance finding what makes you feel comfortable and what feels right to you with what feels safe. when you are feeling comfortable, it will help you to become confident. when you are confident and self-assured in who you are, what other people think of you and how they see you will not affect you so much. also, you deserve to be seen and gendered the way you want to be! i'm sorry it feels like it's not possible for you. I believe that it is possible, and i wish it for you soon!!

maybe you want to consider hrt, maybe top surgery, maybe try doing drag or drag makeup. experimentation is a huge thing and i can't recommend it enough. try practicing and experiencing with different styles, gender presentation, clothes, mannerisms, hair makeup jewelry whatever. you can listen to your feelings and your body and reflect on how you like it, see if it feels right. i recommend seeking out the things that make you feel comfortable in your body, find what makes you feel like yourself, and the androgyny and butchness (or whatever presentation you seek) will follow naturally.

wishing you the best in your journey 🧡

[transstudent]

🎞 by shedoeshim 💝

“Masculinity doesn’t belong to any gender. Asking a woman why she rather date a masculine presenting woman instead of a cisgender man implies that masculinity belongs to men….“

[daniboii]

So I’ve been experiencing with femme looks the last couple of days. So far I don’t feel anything about them. No connection, nothing special. Just feels like I have clothes on, whatever. I have gotten a lot of compliments at work today because I put accessories on and a lot of people like them. I do like the compliments. Only because they complimenting accessories I made lol, so my artwork. The comments have made me feel good. Maybe I’ll accessorize more. #nonbinary #nonbinaryawareness #nonbinaryartist #transmasculine #transmasc #transgender #transnonbinarycommunity #boyflux #boi #theythem #shedoeshim #notagirl (at San Jose, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNVVr_xg3ae/?igshid=grpopy5joz1y

[ayeeequan]

[studsrn]

New yr equals New things✨ @younqsimba26 - #studsinsuits #studsofinstagram🔥 #styleinspiration #fashionstyle #dapperstuds #masculinewomen #shedoeshim #lgbtq🌈 https://www.instagram.com/p/CZihXSvLN3d/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nanarawunscripted]

Daily morning routine. 🌈 #dressingwellshouldbeapriorty #dapperQ #androgynous #genderfluid #livedifferently #blackgirlmagic #staylowkeepfiring #bornthiswaylifestyle #Siswebabiesdiary #shedoeshim #shesagent #shesaking #lesbianvisibilityday

[reclusivebrown]

Gentlewoman vibes 🔥 #repost @shedoeshim #shedoeshim #gentlewoman #gentlewomancollective #streetwear #qwoc #masculinewomen #masculinefemininity #angrogyny #queerfashion #tomboy #tomboyfashion #womeninmenswear #lesbianswithstyle #queerbusiness

[krammerandstoudt]

We just gotta pause here to say @shedoeshim has been killin the #menswear game with posts featuring yours truly #krammerandstoudt The Carson jacket and matching Cooper pleated trouser giving #peakyblinders vibes with side eye. Yassssssss... 👌🏆👍🔝 #shedoeshim #bloggerlove #mensfashion #menswearaswomenswear #yesshedid #raisethestakes #theksway

[black-lesbian-magic-blog]

Waiting on this Memorial Day weekend to start like... Featuring one of our absolute favorite androgynous icons @shedoeshim ___________________________________ #menswear #shedoeshim #fly #androgynous #androgyny #lgbt #holidayweekend #pride #lgbtq #summer #lgbtqia #blacklesbian #blacklesbianmagic #qwoc #queer #qpoc

[tomboyesque]

IG: @shedoeshim

[blackfashion]

IG: @shedoeshim

Tumblr: @shedoeshimfashion

[daniboii]

We do not owe you #androgyny . . . #shedoeshim #boi #genderfluid #genderqueer #queerartist #pridemonth #androgynous (at Milpitas, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBRdRZ3gyHuu1FR582g_zYxBDEC7jjnaOLZ1aM0/?igshid=f9y1otkiewib

[bapsi0818]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Beta Alpha Psi Fraternity Inc. (@betaalphapsi08)

The End is not nigh, it is here. It’s up to you what it is the End of. Choose wisely because it’s only getting worse. #fraternity, #thephoenix, #keepersoftheflame, #cityofashesmademe, #blackmasculineofcenter, #college, #sorority, #boissociety, #studsmen, #studsmenmagizine, #studsmenstyles, #studsmenpromotions, #studsmenclothing, #studsmenbox, #studsmenmedia, #blackleadership, #blackscholarship, #studsmenclothing, #blackwomen, #blackwomenlead, #blackwomenread, #blackwomen #rock, #protectourblackmen, #protectourblackwomen, #protectblackmen, #protectourblackboys, #protectblackseniors, #protectblackexcellence, #preservetheculture, #gentlemensavages, #werespectblackmen, #werespectblackwomen, #gentlewoman, #masculinity, #blackqueermasculinity, #werespectblackheterosexuality, #werespectqueerspaces, #blackfraternity, #dapperq, #lesbian, #problack, #blackpower, #powertomypeople, #boissocietymagazine, #aggressive, #dominant, #lgbtgreek, #blacklgbtq, #blacklgbtgreek, #brotherhood, #sisterhood, #community, #service, #blackculture, #blackamerica, #blacksociety, #neophytes, #prophytes, #blackleadership, #studswithdreads, #studsofinstagram, #studsdoitbetter, #Studsbelike, #yellowdiamondstuds, #bawatch, #weondeck, #straightblackpride, #accountability, #wewereallmadeinHISimage, #queerblackcouples, #shedoeshim, #blackwomeninmenswear, #blackwomeninstem, #itsallfunandgamestil, #blackpride, #blackcolleges (at Columbus, Ohio) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwxI8Xph0F3/?igshid=wxi8x4tyg7mq

[wysex1]

#shedoeshim

#pride2022

#visiblemobike

[nanarawunscripted]

Love. Self confidence. Acceptance. Pride. Laughter. Happiness 🌻🍯💛. Not where I want to be, not were society expects me to be, but at a very happy place. #friday #flashbackfriday #happinessisafourletterword #smilesiyabanyisa #yourastar #picturesthatsayathousandwords #dressingwellshouldbeapriority #dapperQ #shesaking #shesacooldude #shedoeshim #blackgirlmagic #xhosaflame #staylowkeepfiring #queerinfashion #queerinstyle #tomboyswag #theinvisibletomboy #bornthiswaylifestyle #Siswebabies