#shes staring into my soul in the worst possible way

[lesbiandardevil]

warm-up rq: matt murdock with a cat!

i can't draw cats anon but for liho i tried </3

[telvess]

Reader using pick-up lines on them

chaotic writing for the fun

Hades

“You should be arrested for stealing my heart!”

Pick-up lines, hmm? Alright, fine, but did you have to use the most pathetic, the cheesiest one? Hades is way too elegant for such a poor tasted attempt, he actually feels offended by your words.

Your first impression is horrible. Hades silently judges you. Of course, he is too classy to make any snarky comments, but you can tell by his cold, indifferent look that he has lost all interest in your company. At this point, he is more of a Poseidon than his brother himself.

If you aren’t the type of person who gives up easily and still tries to flirt… just stop. The best you can get from him would be „yes”, „no” or a nod of the head.

Buddha

“You see my friend over there? She want to know if you think I'm cute.”

Buddha stares at you for a long moment, then looks over your shoulder to check out your friend (who you obviously made up), then then returns to you. His expression is blunt, maybe slightly bored. Totally makes you lose the confidence you had a moment ago as you watch him lazily suck a lollipop and pierce you through with his unimpressed glare.

The worst he can say is „no”, right? Well, who would have thought that the enlightened mind of Buddha would prove otherwise. A drawn-out silence makes you uncomfortable and you start to squirm under his gaze, not ready for that unfazed attitude of his…

Once the confidence you felt approached him vanished and you are ready to leave as quickly as possible, Buddha begins to laugh historically. You jump up a little and stare at him confused. It takes him a while to calm down, but when he does, he looks at you seriously again and says „tell your friend I find ya cute” with the most annoying smirk in the entire universe.

Susanoo

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Susanoo watches you with harsh expression, his eyebrows raising as your attitude doesn’t change. You just stand in front of him and wait for his answer. Kinda hot, he has to admit.

He is amused by this shitty attempt, but still has to admit that it takes some balls to say something so crappy to his face. You’re bold, stupid and definitely not in your right mind.

He would definitely address all of the above and then… respond to you with an even cheaper pickup line that he thinks sounds good. He is very proud of himself and oblivious to the point that it matches his intimidating aura.

Susanoo likes a person who isn’t concerned with what everyone think of them, but he is also a person who expects others to submit to his will, which makes him rather difficult person to flirt with, demanding from you to adapt to his confusing preferences.

Nikola

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.”

BUAHAHAHAHA! HE WOULDN’T GET IT 100%!

He looks at you very confused at first, then he puts to work all of his braincells trying to figure out what you meant. Is this some kind of puzzle? Mystery? It’s clearly impressive, because he struggles to solve it!

Please, stop the brainstorming session before he starts writing his thought on the board and calls members of the science crew asking for the consultations.

After yours short explanation (which probably burnt your soul to the bones with embarrassment) Nikola nods, compliments your clever attempt and… continues what he was doing before this whole masquerade started, oblivious to the fact you just hit on him. So you just stand there and wait for something, but you last barely several dozen seconds before you run away to hide somewhere far, far away.

Much to your surprise, Nikola visits you the next day and invites you for coffee, bluntly.

Hermes

“Can I put my hand on your thigh, where it belongs?”

You sit next to him and get straight to the point. No hesitation, no shame in your eyes. Hermes’ eyes widen for a millisecond as the words leave your lips. Oh? Oh? Oh? He couldn’t help but let his lips stretch into a wide smile, trying to cover his mouth with his hand as a single chuckle escapes his lips.

When he pulls himself together, Hermes lets his playful nature take over. So you thought you were flirty? Hermes is too smart and too cunning to allow you triumph for long. Even if he isn’t interested, he will leave you with a dry mouth and wet panties. Hermes uses the tongue as smoothly as he uses the violin.

Apollo

“I'm sorry, were you talking to me?” He denies, “Well, would you like to?”

My, my, look at you! Approaching the Sun God just like this? Apollo is impressed. In fact, because of how intimidating he is, it's not often that others surprise him with such bravado. Usually they just treat him as something as intangible as the rays of the sun, bathing in his glory, praising him as a celestial being, not as a person. You - on the other hand - are a breath of fresh air.

Once the first shock wears off, his entire figure begins to glow and he gives you the most breathtaking smile you will ever see. From that point on, everything he does comes so naturally that it makes you lose yourself. After making great first impression, you end up like everyone else: Apollo wraps you around his little finger and before you know it, you just sit there and listen to his melodious voice as if you are bewitched. The man is too charming.

Poseidon

“Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

Peasant. Get out.

You aren’t clever. You aren’t brave. You aren’t impressive. The only person that will disappear is gonna be you, if you don’t remove yourself in the next 3 seconds.

Whoever didn’t stop you from approaching Poseidon like this, definitely doesn’t wish you well.

Kojirō

“Aren't you tired? From running through my mind all day?”

The man gives you surprised look, and moment later he presents you his widest smile. Sasaki has no clue what to say, so he just stands before you, rubbing his neck and blushing like teenage girl. He may stammers out a few words of thanks, but you really shouldn’t hope for more. Kojirō is simply not used to compliments, so even the simplest pick-up line can rock his world.

Please, ask him about swordsmanship, because it’s probably the only thing he can talk about while his brain fries in the skull.

Once Kojirō pulls himself together, he turns out to be exactly as carefree and friendly as you expected. The longer you two interact, the more open and less awkward he becomes.

Ares

“Do you have a name, or can I just call you 'mine'?”

Did you just? Huh???

Ares blinks a few times before his brain process information. He can’t believe you said something like that! Do you even know who you are talking to? He is Ares, the God of War! One of the twelve Gods of Olympus and son of Zeus! He deserves more respect, not some pathetic, human-alike attempt at flirting. He shouts all this in your face, making a big scene and ridiculing you in front of the others gods. For a moment he’s proud of himself, but your teary eyes quickly put him in a less mighty state.

To make things worse, you literally run away. At first Ares tries to ignore the feeling of guilt in his chest, pretending that your reaction was childish and exaggerated, but all he needs is Hermes to make a little remark (“Poor thing, it seems she gave her all to speak up.”) to make Ares’ face red.

He mutters some lame excuse to leave and starts looking for you. He still thinks your attempt was awful, but maybe - just maybe - his heart skips a beat knowing that some pretty miss thinks so highly of him.

Jack

“If music be the food of love, let’s have a feast together.”

Okay, this man isn’t used to hearing compliments, let alone hitting on him. Jack is a little shocked, not because he doesn’t understand you, but because you actually chose him. He doesn’t recognize you, but to his great surprise you seem to know a little about him. After all, you referred to Shakespeare. It couldn't have been an accident, right?

“Pardon me, lady?” is probably the first thing out of Jack's mouth as he’s still processing what you’ve said, but he quickly snaps out of his surprise, “Forgive me, where are my manners?”

Jack introduces himself properly, takes off the hat and bows like a gentleman. He then politely asks for your name, still fluttered that you gave him a chance.

Thor

“Did you do something to my eyes? I can't seem to take them off you.”

“…”

Neither Thor nor Mjölnir budge. Well, this is definitely something new; no one has ever approached Thor this way before, so he has to give you some points for creativity. However, don’t expect anything as Thor isn’t interested in continuing the conversation, so it’s up to you if you are interested in one-sided interaction.

Loki

“Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?”

Loki stares at you without the slightest sign of interest, twirling strand of hair around his finger. He seems distant, almost like he didn’t hear you. Then he flinches, as if snapped out of trance. His face changes in a split second: a wide, forced smile and squinting eyes screaming at you to evacuate, because you’ve hit on the wrong guy. “Do you have a death wish, woman?” Loki asks, his voice has the sweetest tone that tickles your ears, but his words spew poison…

Loki is capricious. I don’t think it’s a matter of wrong pick-up line, it's rather more a matter of right timing. But even if you choose a bad moment to approach him, he probably wouldn’t hurt you (physically) - he prefers to scare others, toy with their fear than kill them.

On the other hand, if your timing is right, then you would still bounce off the wall, because Loki doesn’t intent to give you a straightforward answer; he would like to play with you, confuse you with the mixed signals he sends. He wants a reaction from you, entertain him. If you are cocky - his goal is to crush your self-confidence. Shy? Prepare for blushing, squealing and stuttering. Ah, you think you’re being funny here? Loki will gladly turn your smile into tears.

[skyebounded]

What’s Right, is Wrong.

© Skyebounded, do not use my work, but you may share it.

.Masterlist.  .Starwars Masterlist.

premise: You wanted it all, and now you are realising that it might not be possible, and you need to tell Anakin.

pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader

warnings: angst, smut, p in v, fingering? overstimulation, semi-public smut, sexual themes, etc. I don’t know at this point. 

wc: 4.3K

a/n: I read over it like once, so there is that. Also, this is my first time writing for him so if it’s not good, apologies. 

It was a mistake, falling for him. You had dedicated your life to the order, years of training and devotion all so that you could help bring balance, and all they asked of you was to remain free of any personal attachments, and you failed. You knew the moment you had met Anakin, with his charm and ,  that it would always prove difficult to keep to the laws bestowed upon you. 

You had spent years with him, growing, learning, training, and after all that time, he wore you down. Leading you to wonder constantly what the things that were so blatantly forbidden to you, would be like, and eventually, you broke as did he, Unable to keep yourself from wanting him, needing him. In the worst possible ways he consumed you, made you weaker than ever before. You couldn’t go on like this, you just couldn’t. 

You had no idea what Senator Amidala was saying to you, despite its importance, you had checked out, your mind distant, stuck with the tall handsome Jedi that owned your mind, body, and soul. She hadn’t seemed to notice, and perhaps it was because you found the room to occasionally nod and make other gestures that you were taking in everything that she was saying, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was a blessing that she hadn’t sought any responses from you, before she had left, leaving you alone with your thoughts and some surrounding padawans. 

If you closed your eyes now you could still feel his fingers, feather-light on your naked skin, body pressed against yours, sweat riddled and tired, but unrelenting, his arms wrapped around you in an attempt to keep you from disappearing from his grasp. The tired, unhurried thrusts as he rocked his hips against your own, helping you to find that state of utter bliss that only he could give you. And then there was the imprint of his plush lips down your neck, spine, sternum. His mark, permanently branded on you. 

The chatter of the room had fallen to just above a whisper as Anakin stormed into the room, crossing it in three large strides. His strong hand wrapped around your arm as he pulled you slightly into him.

“May I have a word with you?” he hissed, raising his brows as if to stress urgency over his request. He didn’t seem to care just how many people were surrounding you or even looking at you, nor the person that you had been speaking to at that moment. Whatever was on his mind was clearly more important, and you had the strongest urge that you knew exactly what it was. 

You exchanged a quick glance with the padawan you had been talking to before Anakin had pulled you off with him, out of the room and into the desolate hallway out of earshot as he pushed you up against the nearest wall. His tall frame looming over your much smaller one, as he looked down at you, eyes desperately searching yours for the sole reason he sought you out. If this had been a different situation, you could have almost guaranteed that you would have folded right then and there. Staring back at him, you suddenly found it much harder to keep your eyes on his, though they were full of confusion and some well-hidden pain, and you couldn’t fully blame him for it. 

“Ani-” you started, finding it harder and harder to find the words to explain to him just why you couldn’t do this anymore. The arrangement, the understanding had simply been ‘try it once, and then we’re done’ and after once, it turned to twice, and so on. Living for the moments that you could shut yourselves away in a dimly lit room, with no prying eyes, completely engulfed in each other. But it became an addiction, lying awake thinking about him and only him.

“Why did you leave?” he cut across you, ignoring the way his name fell from your lips in such a soft and delicate way. He didn’t have the time for your excuses, whether they were logical and well-reasoned or not. He only needed the truth, the unfiltered and undeniable truth. He thought he knew the reason, but he wanted you to look him in the eyes and tell him why, tell him that you didn’t want this anymore, whatever it was, not the fucking note that you left thinking it would be sufficient enough for him. You had never been so wrong about something in your life. 

One of his hands was firmly pressed against your abdomen, holding you in place in case you got the sudden urge to run from him like you had done earlier, he couldn’t risk it this time. 

“Why?” he prodded, and you felt that shift in energy, something more compelling and urgent. You cast your eyes down, taking a deep bated breath as you tried to search for the words. 

“Anakin, we can’t, we can’t do this and you know it. It’s wrong, forbidden-” you explained, gesturing towards the room where you had just come from as if to better help explain your point, but Anakin couldn’t see it, he wouldn’t.

“If it is so wrong then why doesn’t it feel that way? It feels right, beyond right, and I know you know that.” Anakin argued, the vein in his neck growing more prominent, as he clenched his jaw, trying to calm himself. His eyes were fluttering between your own, watching closely for any indication that you understood, agreed with him, his brows creased in determination as his hand moved to caress your hip, gently lifting up your robe just enough for him to make contact with your skin. 

He was right about one thing, it had never felt more right than to be with him, consumed by him and everything he did. Every fibre in your body calling for him every waking moment, desperate for his touch, his presence, like if you didn’t get it you would surely go insane. To have your mind plagued by the very thought of him, finding yourself counting down the minute until you could see him again, feel him, taste him. The mere thought of him, a disruption to your existence. It was to the point of total madness, and not a single second of it felt wrong, or like it should be forbidden, and yet it was. That’s what they had told you, that's what you had spent all those years knowing, practicing, preaching. 

You had slipped up, catching yourself wanting something that you couldn’t have, like a piece of forbidden fruit that had been dangled in your face, and Anakin had been nothing shy of happy to oblige, only wanting the same thing. You had both failed, getting so caught up in the feeling, the need and want, that you couldn’t stop, couldn’t resist. With every encounter, it became harder to see reason, to see where the true problem lay, and even now, even now you weren’t sure that you knew what the problem was. 

You had spent the past few days fighting everything in you, telling you to go on, that nothing had to change or stop, but you couldn’t ignore that little part of you that screamed out that it was wrong. 

“Anak-”

“You left me, with a note…A note? Is that really what it means to you, what I mean to you? Is that my worth, y/n?” His voice sounded broken like he was trying to keep it all together. If you reached out to him, you would be able to feel, sense his fear and anticipation. He was scared and confused. He couldn’t lose you, not when he had no reason to, it would tear him apart. It had been cruel of you, but in a split second, a moment of poor judgement, you panicked and did the only thing you could think to do. You left him alone with a simple note, and his thoughts, hoping that by some chance it would suffice. Guilt wracked you as you looked at him, that looming gaze filled with disappointment and betrayal. 

“No, I-its just, I knew you would try and stop me, and you can’t, we can’t.” 

You could see the rage bubbling inside of him, no matter what you said, did, he wasn’t going to see the problem, because to him it wasn’t a problem. He would instead abandon the Jedi than lose you, to lose what he had with you, and if that's what he had to do then he would, he didn’t care. You meant more to him, this meant more to him than everything else he had grown to know, love.  

“What is so wrong about it?” He asked, his teeth clenched, “Nothing that we have done is wrong y/n? Nothing, it has only felt right, addicting..” 

“Anakin, have you ever considered that this is the reason it is wrong?” you start, your features hardening under his blunt gaze. “I can’t get you out of my head, I can’t get the feeling of your hands on my body, your skin from skin,  your taste from my tongue, and assuredly I cannot get the feeling of you consuming me from my soul. It's permanent! It doesn’t stop, day in and day out you are the only thing I crave. I don’t seem to care about much more, Anakin, not the things that I should care about, and that is where the problem lies. We have a goal, a purpose to serve and I can’t seem to find myself wanting anything to do with it anymore.” You could feel the way your eyes were prickling with emotion, your head reeling trying to make sense of it all, trying to convince yourself that what you were saying, that you needed to stop, was the right thing to do. 

Anakin’s hand shifted just slightly, further up your shirt, his thumb soothing your skin with gentle massages, a gentle reminder of the way his hands felt upon your skin.  

“And I see nothing wrong with that? There is nothing wrong with that, I-”

“Anakin, no,” you state plainly, seeing his brow twitch and his jaw clench. 

His face contorted at your response, finding it harder and harder to make sense of it all. The truth was, he couldn’t, he couldn’t see your reasoning.

“Is that what you really want? Do you want to stop? I want the truth, I want to know what you really want, not what you think you should want. I need for you to tell me.” he explains, praying that you would tell him that you take it back, that you were scared and that was all. 

The silence that fell over the pair of you was deafening, consuming both of you. You were holding your breath and you hadn’t even seemed to have noticed it, but he had. He felt drained, watching your eyes search his. There was no hiding the conflict in yours, he could see it, all he needed was for you to be honest with him. 

You felt nothing but guilty as you looked at him, knowing the truth was, you didn’t want to stop, but more so that you had to. You had been foolish to think you could have it all, and it was all finally coming down. As you looked at him, his eyes pleading with you to give him the answer that he wanted to hear, you just couldn’t say goodbye to him, not yet. Ignoring every sensible thought that you had, you leaned up against him, brushing your lips against his neck, hesitating for a single moment before kissing his soft skin, clenching your eyes shut as you moved them down the side of his throat. 

He couldn’t help but fall into place, hoisting you up into his arms, clumsily pushing you into the nearest empty room, backing you up against a sturdy wall. Small gasps like moans trickled from his lips as you continued your attack on him, sucking, biting, licking his skin until any type of mark blossomed. Your fingers curl into his hair, desperate to pull yourself closer to him, your body, firmer against his. Rolling your hips against him, all of the fabric of his robes, obstructing you from what you really needed, the friction that you so desperately craved. Groaning in frustration, he lowers you to the ground, pulling back from you the moment your feet touch down. 

“Take these off..” He demands, something in his voice dripping with lust, as he reaches for his own hem to his pants, tugging them down, letting them fall to his ankles. You bite down on your lip, letting out the softest whimper as you catch sight of his cock, hard, thick, and leaking drops of precum. It takes nearly all of your willpower not to just drop to your knees, take it graciously into the palm of your hand, and let your tongue glide around it, licking up every little bead that formed and dribbled down his length, running your tongue over that prominent vein. He was staring at you, that look of pained authority on his face, as he waited for you to do as you had been told. “Now.” 

You fumbled quickly with your trousers, pulling them off and kicking them aside, already long forgotten. He stared at you, knowing what this meant, what this gesture meant. After this encounter, it was done, left on both of you like a permanent stain. Anakin moved forwards, slotting his lips against yours, kissing you with such fervour and passion that your back and head hit the wall with a soft thump, his hands gliding up your inner thighs, feather-light touches. With each whine and whimper that left you, his hand came closer and closer to your aching cunt, his fingers gliding through your fold collecting every ounce of arousal that pooled between your legs, gently spreading it around as he slowly worked your clit, taking in your sharp gasps. 

“Why would you want to stop this, when I can make you a mess with a few simple touches?” He murmured against your cheek, starting to leave his own trail of kisses on your delicate skin. “When you clearly crave me the same way I crave you…” he was talking to that part of you, the part that wanted him more than life itself. Appealing to it as best he could in hopes of changing your mind, making you see the reason that he dwelled on, and it was working. Anakin curled two thick fingers into your tight hole, smiling against the shell of your throat when you moaned deeply, your walls instantly clenching around his fingers as if they were begging him to never leave, and he could think of nothing more than the feeling of your soft walls milking his cock the way they had been his fingers. 

“When I can make you feel this good?” Thumbing at your clit while he pumped his fingers inside of you, kissing down the side of your neck. 

“Ani..” you mutter, not sure of what you intended to say. There was something about hearing his name on your tongue that drove him mad. Spoke to the most carnal parts of him, and then it was the way you spoke it so softly, like it was something so pure. He wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to let you go after this, he toyed with the idea of not allowing it at all but he couldn’t force you, he knew that. Anakin pulled himself from you, hand wrapping around his cock. Gliding the tip through your folds gathering your slick, watching your mouth fall open in anticipation, your fingers clawing into the fabric of his robes. Your eyes were pleading with him, begging him to fill you with every inch he had to offer, satisfying that feeling of emptiness that his fingers had left. 

“Tell me what you want. Tell me and it's yours.” 

Hard against your entrance, waiting for nothing more than the words to fall from your perfect lips, he stilled, his eyes searching yours for that familiar sense of warmth and invitation that they always held, and there it was, hidden behind the fear and longing. Pushing against you ever so slightly, the head of his cock now nestled into your aching cunt. He needed to hear it just as much as did, he needed for you to still want him and nothing more, he was desperate. 

“you, Anakin, I need yo-” 

It was more than enough, music to his ears as the words fell from your lips, almost like a prayer, and he couldn’t wait anymore. Anakin housed you up in his arms, pinning you against the wall once more, as he lined himself up to your entrance. His eyes met yours, searching for any sign of regret, finding none. With one snap of his hips, he forced the full length of his cock into your needy cunt, and with another, he had your head falling back against the wall, eyes clenched shut, as a deep breathy moan left your lips at the delicious stretch of him. His eyes consumed every expression that lined your features as he pulled out of you, watching that sense of panic over the thought of him leaving you empty and unsatisfied, only for him to sink back into your soaking pussy, causing you to let out nothing but pleasure-filled sounds. There was no holding back the particularly high-pitched moans that were being ripped from you, sounds that surely someone would hear if they walked by, with each precise thrust of his hips. Sounds that resided deep in your chest begging to break free. 

He captured your lips, moans, and whimpers, in a clash of needy tongues, and teeth, silencing the flow of sounds that left you. He wanted to hear every blissful sound that you made at his expense, but he couldn’t risk someone coming in and stopping this moment, ripping it from him faster than it had begun. You wrapped your legs around his middle, craving even more, drunk on the feeling of how utterly full you felt, how deep his cock nestled inside of you, hitting that sweet spot as if he had known it his whole life. 

“Why should we have to give this up….” He mutters through clenched teeth, his thrust becoming harder, “I won’t..I can’t..” he groans, burying his head into the crook of your neck, sucking at the delicate skin. He meant that. He would rather die than be without you and he needed you to know that. Your nails dug into his back, fisting at the fabric of his tunic that you wished wasn’t there, allowing you to feel his heated skin so perfectly pressed against yours. Clinging to him as each well-placed thrust forced you harder against the wall. He was the only thing you had to sturdy yourself. 

The sound of his skin slapping against yours filled your ears, mixed with his desperate moans, and grunts, clouding your judgement rather quickly. Every word he said, every question he asked you, made you second guess. How could you want to give this up? The truth was, you didn’t want to, never. And even now, with him pressed deliciously against you, beads of sweat falling from his brow, while a thin film-like layer coats your skin, his cock so perfectly buried inside of you as if it was made for you, you couldn’t imagine being without him, and you knew that. 

You wanted to tell him that you took it back, that you didn’t mean any of it, but you couldn’t seem to find the words. It’s like they were stuck in your throat unable to surface and all that came out was lewd sounds. Your fingers card through his hair, tugging on it so that he was staring up at you, his open mouth pressed against yours as you moaned into it, stealing kisses here and there. You urged him on, soft whine-like pleads and encouragement left you the quicker his pace came, his fingers gliding up your bare-tired thighs, to the apex of them, the spot where you needed him the most. Deft fingers flicked against your clit, as you took in sharp inhales of breath, as he drew tight and precise circles into it. 

He treated your body as if he knew it, knew it better than you ever could, like he knew just what to do and when to do it, to have you melting like a puddle at his touch. 

“Fuck, ani-“ you moan. There it was again, that beautiful sound of his name on your tongue, falling from it like it was sweet honey, urging him on, begging for more and more. His head falls forward, groaning deliciously at the way you took him so well. Good, so fucking good. 

“The things you do to me, woman..” he groans, getting drunk on the way his cock dragged inside you, the perfect amount of friction for his head to fog. You felt that familiar coil of warmth settling in your lower abdomen, surging through you with each thrust. You were close, so utterly close. “Ani I’m close…just like tha-“ You couldn’t even finish the sentence before your climax burst through you. Your pussy spasms around his length, a soft submissive sob escapes you. Seeing you like this, feeling the way your walls clench around him, gave him a slice of madness, a need to pound into you at a faster speed, desperate to see you become a stuttering mess, begging for him to stop. Sound after sound, profanity after profanity left you, your body, torn between needing more of him, and yet not. Your fingers clawing into his shoulders. “Ani-” Your whimper of his name was nothing but breathy. You couldn’t think straight, all you could see was him, all you could feel and think was him and only him, as each pulsing wave of pleasure washed over you.  

Anakin had no intention of letting you down too quickly, letting you catch a breath. Pushing you through your high, reviling in the way your body convulsed under his. Your head thrown back and eyes desperately clenched, your mouth hanging open and moaning after moan escaped you. 

“Ani-s’too much…” you whine, feeling every nerve in your body sent into overdrive, every sense of yours flooded in nothing but overstimulating pleasure. Your legs shake around his body, your cunt fluttering around his length as he drills into you, swallowing up every delicious sound that leaves you.    “Ani..ple-ease.” Anakin’s hand finds your chin, tilting it back down so that your face was level to his. His teeth tugging at your bottom lip.  

“Not till I’ve had my fill of you..” he pants, tightening his grasp on you, pinning you even firmer against him and the wall as if you could go anywhere. You let out a soft whimper as yet another wave rushes over you, and you take to silencing yourself by catching him in a heated kiss, biting down on his lip a tad too hard, feeling that metallic taste of blood against your tongue, feeling that strange sense of satisfaction overhearing him groan rather loudly. You could feel him pushing you over the edge towards a second orgasm, but your mind and body were already starting to feel numb. Drunkenly hazy over the way he was determined to overstimulate you. His fingers were relentless against your tired and abused clit, surges of ecstasy rippling through the entirety of your body. You could hear him saying something, but you had no way of comprehending the words leaving him. 

Anakin was reaching his end, his well-measured thrusts were becoming sloppy, but not once did they waiver in their mission. The only thing keeping him grounded was listening to the way you begged him, your body begged him for one more, but as your legs shuttered around him and your pussy clenched around him, he couldn’t help but spill into you. Warm thick ropes of cum soothing your abused walls, as he too shuttered, head buried into your chest, strings of profanities and praises leaving his lips like a prayer. 

His hands squeezed your aching thighs, as you relentlessly tightened them around his waist, almost as if you didn’t want him to release you, to pull out of you. His pace slowed, thrusts becoming more like desperate spurts as he pulled yet another orgasm from you. His name falls from your lips as it spread throughout you. Anakin stilled inside you, listening to the sound of your stuttering heart, beating rapidly as it slowed back to its normal pace, while your fingers carded through his hair, in such a soothing manner. Neither one of you wanted to move, to come back to the crippling reality that you resided in. He could stay the way he was forever, blissfully wrapped up in your presence, and you, you could do the same. Feeling his warm protective body, holding you so desperately close. 

After what felt like an eternity, he set you down, holding you up with a gentle squeeze of your hips. You didn’t dare look him in the eyes, knowing that if you did, you would crumble. You knew what you wanted, but as of right now, you could see no clear way of having it, not without surrendering everything else. You wanted nothing more than to say fuck it, give yourself over to him permanently, but you didn’t know how. How to let go and do just that. Pulling your pants back on and righting yourself, you take a deep bated breath. His gaze lingered on you, the painstaking look of loss on his features. 

“Ani-I…I’m sorry…” 

“I know..” he speaks, his voice breaking just a little. 

You thought that perhaps you’d find your way back to him, and perhaps it would be sooner than you anticipated, falling back into the addicting pattern you had created, and maybe this time it would go further, but for now, you wouldn’t. Wiping the tears from your face, you take a long, painful look at him, before exiting the silent room, not daring to look back. 

[cod-dump]

Time (another monster au fic)

———

Price hadn’t foreseen ‘non-human handler’ in his future. Two vampires, an insectoid, whatever the hell Nik was (a lycan of some kind?), and a demon? Definitely wasn’t how he thought his days would go. He especially didn’t plan on sort of adopting the vampires both being older than his grandparents. Well, Soap was. Gaz was much younger than that but still older than Price.

But, their youthful appearances have most certainly made him feel like they needed guidance even though they had far more life experience. Well, Gaz seemed to return the familial connection, at least. He would often come join Price in his office just sit and talk. It was nice having that connection since Price wasn’t in contact with any of his family, distant relatives or close family members.

“Cap… I have a question,” it wasn’t often when Gaz wanted to ask Price something.

He was smart, had seen more things than Price. He was also the type to try to figure things out on his own before asking questions (thankfully he doesn’t do this on the clock).

“Question? About what?”

“Well… Ghost.”

Price felt his heart beat quicken, he knew where this was going, “What about him?”

“Why is he here? He’s a demon, they don’t do this kind of thing. Especially not on their own free will.”

He could hear what Gaz was wanting to say. The thing he hasn’t about to actually say out loud, the thing this was all about. Laswell had the worst reaction when she had found out. Tears, yelling— The works. Nik was much calmer in appearance but Price could tell he was devastated.

Price knew the risks, he knew what he was getting himself into. It was his soul after all, he could do what he pleased with it.

“I… contracted him. He’s a mercenary, after all. He works for me, and when the job’s done he gets his payment… then he’s gone. That simple.”

Gaz’s jaw as clenched, a pain in his eyes that just pierced Price’s soul, “That’s a funny fucking way to call selling you soul to him.”

Price had years to accept it. He’s the one who summoned the Ghost to this plane, the one who offered Simon Riley’s corpse for him to root him here so he had a physical form. Price gave him rank, this human mask that he could wear. Whether he kept it when everything was said and done is uncertain. Price had feeling he could make a hell of a business off of it.

“I had my time to accept it, I don’t expect you to get it.”

Gaz couldn’t look at him, choosing to stare at the wall instead. The angle allowed Price to see the light glint off his eyes, giving away his inhuman nature. Gaz was much more emotional than other vampires. He remembers being human, he cares about humanity. He was stealing blood bags almost his whole vampiric existence before Price found him and recruited him.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, Kyle. When I’m gone Nik will be taking you and Soap with him to Chimera. Kate will make you two disappear and can go on to Russia.”

“That’s supposed to be comforting?”

“Russia does have the highest population of any non-humans in the world. Plus Chimera is nothing but non-humans.”

“Fucking- I don’t care about finding somewhere safe!” Gaz stood quickly, knocking his chair back, “You fucking sold your soul to a demon! You have a timer on your life!”

Price watches Gaz wave his arms around, tears pricking in his eyes, “You’re dying!”

Price sighs. He had accepted this himself, he knows his fate. Unless the demon themself decides to break the contract, spare the human who made it with them… Price’s fate is sealed. There has been some recorded incidents where demons completed the contract only to just leave, not taking their client’s soul. It is possible to survive, but making a demon genuinely like you to the point they let you keep your soul is near impossible.

Ghost was going to kill him in the end. Eat his soul in probably the most painful way possible before fucking off to do whatever.

“Kyle…”

“How can you be so fucking calm? Did you even consider how anyone else would feel!?”

“I made that deal a long time ago. Before I had anyone in my life worth living for. I do not regret sacrificing my life for the greater good.”

Gaz was shaking, now quiet. Price swallows before standing, going around to the vampire and pulling him into a hug. Gaz almost instantly clung to him, a quiet sob in his chest.

“I don’t want you to die…”

“I’m sorry, Kyle. I can’t change anything.”

“There has to be another way.”

“Heh, you know trying to cheat a demon out of a soul is dangerous. You know how dangerous Ghost is.”

Gaz pulls away, wiping his face, “Fuck… Yea, I do…”

Price felt dread in his chest. The first time in years he had to truly acknowledge what he had done. He felt like this after he told Laswell, after Nik, and now Gaz. Their emotions reminded him how deeply upsetting this was. But Price couldn’t take it back. He wouldn’t if it meant he would still be able to do it. Save this world from it’s own self-destruction… all at the cost of a single soul. What he’s doing wouldn’t be permanent, the rot would always crawl back. but at least his soul would buy everyone some time.

[neo404]

Can I get a fic where male reader has had an attitude all day and Nick decided to fuck it out of him and overstimulate him. (So there is like a lot of teasing and maybe he gets like tied to the bed?)

All I Need.

Summary: after telling you all day to behave, Nick grows tired of you attitude and decides to fuck it out of you.

Tw: NSFW, cursing, a few spanks, Nick calls reader slut a few times.

Note: I tried to keep the readers body as vague as possible so everyone can enjoy this :3 also, i wrote this with that outfit on mind.

There was no reason for me to be grumpy, I just woke up this way, sadly for everyone else today was a busy day.

‘’What do you want to eat?’’ Nick looks down at his phone scrolling throw the ordering app.

‘’I don’t know, whatever.’’ He slightly raises his eyes to look at me, his brows a bit frowned.

‘’I’m asking you, what do you want to eat?’’ he asks again and I let out a huff.

‘’Whatever.’’ I roll my eyes at him and cross my arms.

‘’Don’t talk to me like that… I’ll order and if you don’t like I don’t wanna hear you whinnying about it, got it?’’ he looks back at his phone ordering our breakfast.

When the food arrived, I don’t want to eat it. I just stare at it while Nick eats from his sandwich.  

‘’Why won’t you eat?’’ he finally asks after a while, I just shrug my shoulders and he lets out a sigh.

‘’Don’t want to.’’

‘’You could have told me that.’’

‘’Whatever.’’

‘’Don’t whatever me. What happened today? Why are you so moody?’’ he’s frowning, the muscles of his face tensing and I don’t know why, but it makes me feel grumpier.

‘’I don’t know, leave me alone.’’

His jaw tenses and then he speaks softly. ‘’Okay.’’

---

It was a long day, photoshoot after breakfast, lunch with friends, afternoon meeting to discuss the next merch drop, and at night dinner with friends again. Normally this wouldn’t have bothered me, but today I just can’t seem to be able to take it.

‘’Boy, what’s wrong with you?’’ Tara who is sitting besides me asks.

‘’I don’t know. I woke up with the worst mood ever, I am so grumpy for no reason.’’ I grumble to her.

‘’I get it, it sometimes happens to me too. Wanna tell me about it?’’ I do, I talk to her about how I feel and I start to lighten up, feeling like the burden of the day is leaving my body. We start to laugh and joke about our grumpy moods. From time to time I feel Nicks intense stare from across the table, but I decide to brush it off.

‘’Give me a second, I’ll go to the bathroom.’’ I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and move my hair a bit, I hear the door opening and I see Nicks reflection on the mirror.

‘’So, you are not grumpy anymore?’’ I look at him on the mirror, his arms are crossed over his chest and he looks mad.

‘’Maybe, I don’t know.’’

‘’Oh, I think you aren’t because you were laughing a lot with Tara out there.’’ I turn around and also cross my arms, my chin high and a grin on my face.

‘’Yeah, she’s really funny.’’

‘’Is that so?’’ he raises on eyebrow, slowly walking towards me. ‘’Does she make you laugh more than me?’’

‘’Not really, but she knows how to handle me when I’m grumpy.’’ Both of his hands are on my hips, his gaze piercing throw my soul.

‘’And I can’t? are you saying I can’t handle you?’’ Nicks voice is low, his grip on my hips tightening and I gulp nervously.

‘’Maybe if you feel that way it’s because it’s true…’’ I smile playfully and he growls.

‘’You were being a brat all day, you are so fucking spoiled you think you can get away with everything. Don’t make me get angrier because you won’t like how I am planning to make you behave.’’ My cheeks turn red, he knows just how to handle me, he knows exactly what to do and say to make me melt on his hands. But I want more, I want to see how far a can push.

‘’You hallow threats don’t scare me.’’ I walk away from his grip and to the bathroom door. ‘’Also, I think you look hot when you try to be dominant.’’ I wink at him and walk out of the bathroom; I hear a faint mumbling inside of it and I giggle as I make my way to the table.

---

‘’Want me to drop you off?’’ Matt talks softly to me when we everybody is standing outside the restaurant, saying goodbyes, seeing of they will go to their homes.

‘’I already ordered an uber for us.’’ Nick says standing besides me, his hand on my waist, pressing me against him.

‘’You staying the night there?’’ Matt asks again and Nick hums. ‘’Okay, see you then. Bye.’’ Then he walks besides Chris who was saying goodbye to everybody.

When the car arrives Nick and I sit in silent, both of his hands on his knees, he seems grumpy. I might have flirted a bit with Jake to see how he reacts, but I don’t think he is too mad… is he?

When we arrive at my apartment, I thank the driver and we walk in silence to my place. I feel his gaze on my back as I unlock the door slowly, regretting a bit my actions.

‘’I-… Nick.’’

‘’Shut up.’’ He pushes the door open and shoves me inside too. He closes the door behind him, takes of his jacket and hangs it on the coat hanger. ‘’Go to your room, take off your clothes, leave your boxers. I want you on your knees on the floor when I arrive. If you are not doing it, I swear…’’ he takes a deep breath, he is not looking at me, he is massaging his forehead with one hand, my legs shake as I nod even when he can’t see me. ‘’Go, 10, 9…’’ I sprint to my room, undoing my pants and taking of my shirt on the way there. I slam the door open and throw my shirt somewhere, quickly shoving my shoes out and then taking off my pants, I try to steady my breath as I kneel on the floor in front of my bed.

I hear the faint steps and counting getting louder and louder. ‘’1 and 0.’’ Nick enters the room, his tie undone and his shirt undone a few buttons. ‘’Oh, so you can be obedient.’’ He sits at the edge of the bed in front of me, my cheeks turn red and I nod slightly. ‘’You made me really mad today, being a brat all day, you think that I was going to let it slide?’’ I shake my head. ‘’And then it seems like nothing happened, like you weren’t a fucking whinny bitch all day, you go and laugh your ass off with Tara, and then you fucking flirt with Jake, in front of me.’’ I gulp and look down at his boots. ‘’Maybe I have been too nice with you lately and you have forgotten who you belong to.’’ I shake my head. ‘’Words, slut.’’ His hand grips my jaw, forcing my head up, meeting his eyes that seemed darker than usual.

‘’N-no. I’m yours.’’

‘’Well, you aren’t acting like it. I’ll have to fuck you into my good boy again, don’t I?’’ I nod the best I can with his iron grip on me. ‘’That’s it.’’ His hand leaves my jaw, it goes to his pants to undo them and lower them enough so he can take his dick out. ‘’Come closer, crawl.’’ He pats his thigh, and I crawl closer to him, his hand gripping the base of his cock, pumping it a few times. ‘’Go on, suck it.’’ His hand leaves his dick and makes its way to my head, grabbing me by the hair and pulling my face closer to him, I open my mouth and take him. I move my head up and down slowly, his hand is still on my hair, not pushing or pulling, not yet. ‘’Shit, that’s it. Faster.’’ I obey, moving my head faster and deeper. He lets out a growl, I look up at him, his head is throwed back and his eyes are closed. Then I feel it, his grip on my hair tightening, he starts pushing and pulling my head, using my mouth just for his pleasure, I feel the tip close to the back of my throat, my eyes are watery and I gag with every thrust. He looks down at me, biting on his lip. ‘’God, my slut taking that cock so well in his mouth. Fuck, you look so pretty with your mouth full.’’ He pulls my head backwards, with my tongue out and a few tears running down my eyes I pant, looking up at him with my teary eyes, I feel his precum on my cheek and nose, I can taste it on my tongue.

‘’Shit. So pretty when I use you, so fucking handsome. Is that all you needed to shut up? You needed my dick on your mouth to finally shut up. Tell me baby.’’ I close my mouth, licking my lips and nodding. ‘’That’s it, good slut.’’ I place my head on his thigh and he pats my head softly. After a few seconds my breath is steady again, he wipes the tears that fell down my face. ‘’On the bed, now.’’ I stand up, slowly laying down on the bed. My legs are clenched together trying to find a bit of friction. I see Nick taking his tie off. ‘’Arms up.’’ As soon as he says it my arms are above my head, my wrists together, and he softly but efficiently ties my hands together.

His hands roam my body, his teeth and lips leaving red marks all over my body. He doesn’t miss a single spot, my arms, my neck, chest, belly, thighs. My body squirms and shivers with his touch. Moans slipping from my mouth. ‘’Please, need you.’’

‘’But baby, don’t you remember? You were a fucking brat today; you don’t get to decide what you get… but maybe if you beg I’ll consider letting you cum.’’ He bites my thigh and slaps it.

‘’Please, I need you. Please, I’m sorry, won’t do it again, just please, want you so bad.’’ I feel him smiling against my skin. Nick bites the hem of my boxers and slides them down, my breath hitches at that sight.

‘’God, you are a mess. So, fucking needy.’’ he reaches out to my nightstand grabbing a bottle of lube that he left last time, he coats two of his fingers on it. ‘’Knees to your chest.’’ He demands, I pull up my legs the best I can without the help of my hands. ‘’Good job. Fuck, look at you, all wet and ready for me.’’ His fingers make their way to my entrance, slowly drawing lines and circles on in, making my legs tremble. Slowly he pushes the two fingers in, making my back arch a bit, my mouth opening and a soft moan escaping my mouth. His fingers start making scissor motions for a few seconds, then the introduces another finger, and this time he stars pumping the three of them at an ungodly pace. My back arching more, mouth and pleads leaving my mouth. ‘’Keep your legs up, come on.’’ His other hand on one of my knees, keeping it against my chest.

"Can’t. Fuck, I can’t. Please, please, can I cum?’’

‘’Go ahead baby.’’ a few quick pumps more and my legs were shaking, my head pressed against the mattress, but his hands didn’t stop, he started pumping faster, his fingers curling just the right way hitting all the right spots inside of me. ‘’Fuck, Nick. Please!’’ My eyes get watery, my hands gripping the sheets below it.

‘’I wanna hear you, don’t hold back. Make sure everyone hears how much of a slut you are for me, want everyone to know how good I make you feel.’’ My legs can’t stop shaking. I can’t control my moans. My thoughts are incoherent and my words too.

‘’Please! too much. So good.’’ I feel my stomach tightening again, and once again I let myself go on his hand. But this time he pulls his fingers out.

‘’Good fucking slut.’’ He kisses my cheek. ‘’My handsome pretty slut.’’ My chest goes up and down heavily. ‘’Can you keep going.’’ I nod. ‘’Words baby, need you to tell me what color.’’

‘’Yes, yes. Green.’’

‘’Good job.’’ He kisses my cheek again. ‘’On all fours.’’ He whispers against my hear. Letting go of my thighs he lets me roll around and I try to hold myself up the best I can with my shaky legs. I feel one slap on my ass and then the same hand gripping my hip. ‘’Say please, tell me you want me inside of you.’’

‘’Please, please. Want you, need you, need you inside. Please…’’ I move my hips backwards searching for his warmth and he slaps my ass again.

‘’So, fucking needy. Arch your back a bit more for me.’’ I do the best I can, my legs still a bit weak. ‘’So pretty…’’ I fill the tip entering my hole, I bit my lip, then he slams his hips hardly into me knocking all the hair out of my body. ‘’Go on, fuck yourself on my cock.’’

‘’Ah, fuck…’’ I moan against the pillow, rocking slamming my hips against his, going dumb on his dick. My movements are messy and my legs grow tired of moving. ‘’Can’t! please, fuck me. Please.’’

‘’God, you are so useless without me, aren’t you? Need me to fuck you, baby?’’ I moan loudly as a response. ‘’What a slut, my slut.’’ Another slap on my ass, his hands gripping my waist, pulling me in every time he thrust so I feel him deeper and rougher.

‘’Fuck. Nick!’’ my legs give up on me, I don’t fall because his strong hands are keeping me up.

‘’Didn’t give you permission.’’

‘’Sorry. Couldn’t wait, too good.’’ His trusts slow down and he starts to rub my back soflty.

‘’Wanna help me finish?’’

‘’Yes, please. wanna help you. Need to.’’ I feel a soft kiss on my shoulder and a small bite too. His hips start moving faster, it gets messy and rough again, the room filled with wet noises and moans from both of us.

‘’That’s it, so good for me. I just needed to fuck you properly for you to behave. My good boy, my good fucking slut.’’ His hands grip my waist tightly, my mind is dizzy and I can’t take it anymore, but it feels too good to stop. ‘’Shit baby, that’s it. Can I cum inside?’’

‘’Please, yes, need it inside. Please.’’ his trusts get messier, uneven and slower. His fingers digging into my flesh, probably leaving red marks I will see tomorrow.

‘’Fuck baby, cum with me. Do it. Fuck.’’ he gives two slow but deep trust and then pulls out, my legs are trembling, my breath is shaky. He helps me lay into my back and softly starts untying my hands. ‘’That’s it, good job baby. Good fucking job.’’ He kisses my cheek softly. ‘’Did so good, suck a good boy for me.’’ When my hands are free, they immediately wrap around his neck, nuzzling my face against it. ‘’I know baby, I know. I was a bit mean, but you know what bad boys get… now it’s time for me to take care of you, I’ll go get some water and something to clean us up.’’ I shake my head against his neck. ‘’Not yet? Okay, just a few seconds more, I have to get you some water baby.’’

His hands rubs my sides, his strong sent making me feel safe and warm. Nick knows exactly what to do to shut me up and make me his good boy again. He knows exactly what I need because he is all I need.

[lemonkeiku]

LOST

Summary : Ghost was M.I.A and when the team found him after a few weeks, he already changed.

Pairing: Zombie!Ghost x Bambi (OC) (can be platonic, no mention of romance)

Content: zombie!AU, angst, zombie physichal description, crossover with Resident Evil.

Warnings: mention of Resident Evil content, possibly bad English especially the grammar (sorry, English is not my first language) and I haven't written for a long time.

Author's note: I've been committed that in my AU, Call of Duty and Resident Evil was in the same universe. All connected with Bambi (my OC) is the daughter of Chris Redfield HAHAHA

---

It was the worst situation they could have imagine. After years serving for the military, fighting on the battle field, declaring wars against terrorists and experiencing dozen of life threaten mission, none of them required them to point their gun to each other. Or to be precisely, to one of them.

It all started a few weeks ago. There was a terrorist attack involving bio-weapon—a virus that could bring back those who were dead and turned them into bloodthirsty monsters that would attack anyone in front of them. The Task Force 141 was sent to deal with this incident but no one had experience with bio-weapon on this scale. Too many unexpected event and the situation got out of control.

Ghost was declared M.I.A. during this mission.

A few weeks later, they came back along with some backup from agencies experienced in dealing with bio-weapons—the BSAA—to clean what they left behind and hope they could find Ghost.

They found him. In an abandoned building not far from where they last saw him. He still wore the same uniform, most of his gear still attached. Even his helmet. He also still wore his mask but the bottom part was ripe off, showing his rooting flesh and exposed jaw bone.

There was no much left from him.

He stared at his team blankly. His eyes turned all white, couldn’t even recognize his teammates. He didn’t talk. Only an unrecognizable growl was heard. No one was sure if he was trying to say something or not.

Nobody could make a move. All of them was shocked that they didn’t know how to react. They never prepared to see Ghost like this. No one prepared to see Ghost like this. They could imagine to find Ghost’s dead body somewhere, not walking around like this. Even Price couldn’t make any decision when he was told to kill every undead they met.

Gaz really could only stand still. His Captain didn’t move, so he wouldn’t make any move. Soap was calling Ghost’s name a few times, thinking he probably still be there. But when Ghost didn’t even flinch, everybody should know that he was no longer with them.

Bambi’s head was crowded by the thought of Ghost being a zombie. She knew he was gone, maybe since they lost him a few weeks ago. Nothing they could do to reverse it. Her father always told her how horrified to loose someone to bio-terrorism. She was told multiple times the best thing she could do for someone who was infected, especially those who already turned. Her father was a long-run bio-terrorism fighter. He had been fighting in the war against bio-weapon for more than twenty years. There was no reason for her not to believe him. She just never thought she would experience it on first hand.

She kept telling herself that Ghost was already dead. The figure in front of her was just his walking empty corpse without a single soul. Without Ghost’s soul in it. He was already gone. She already lost him. There was no way to bring him back.

She could hear Soap kept asking what should they do and they started arguing soon after. All the voice sounds unclear as she couldn’t understand any words that came from them. The voice in her head felt louder, kept convince her that the man she care so much was already gone. She tried to convince herself that keeping him that way just made his fate worse than death. It wasn’t the right thing to do.

As everybody kept arguing in the background, Bambi raised her rifle and pointed it directly to Ghost’s forehead. No one noticed her movements until the sound of the first shot exploded from the tip of her rifle. The first bullet hit his helmet but the second bullet hit the perfect spot between his eyebrows.

His body fell with a loud thud on the ground and almost echoed as everybody stop making any noise. She could hear Soap screamed, maybe to at her. Price was also heard saying something but Bambi couldn’t process anything. Her mind was too messed up to understand what the others were saying. It felt like her soul also leaving her body.

Ignoring the voice that Soap, Price and Gaz were making, she walked to Ghost’s body. It felt like she was a zombie too, like something moved her. She lost her grip and dropped her rifle along the way. She fell on her knees right in front of Ghost’s dead body. And this time he was really dead. She turned his body around, placed his head on her lap as she sat on the ground.

Then, she burst in tears even though she had been trying so hard to control her emotions all this time. She screamed on top of her lungs that people outside the building could hear her mourn. She just shot someone she cared dearly. Even she knew it was right decision she could take, but it felt like a part of her died too with him.

Everybody went silent and leaving only Bambi's anguished cries echoed through the cold walls of that abandoned building. Nobody could say anything.

Ghost was declared K.I.A that day. It didn’t matter exactly when Ghost died, they already lost him since the day he went missing. The grief they felt was far worse than anyone could imagine. None of them have remained the same since that day.

[geeky-politics-46]

Sacrifices - Part 1

Pairing: Doctor Stephen Strange x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Stephen gave up the time stone to save you & your son, but how can you possibly go on without him?

Warnings: Heavy angst & some smut (NSFW) - 18+ ONLY - language, reference to injuries, death, mental illness, complicated feelings about cheating, general sadness, vaginal sex, unprotected sex

This piece may go through some small edits over time as I work on part 2. Some slight canon divergence. Based on a request from @magnificentfurybluebird. Not necessarily my best work, but I'm happy with it.

GIF by wetiredofthis

When the spacecraft landed at the compound, thanks to Carol, you all scrambled to see who or what it was. You prayed to every God you knew that Stephen was somehow, someway, on board. That he had come back to you. Knowing that Tony and Peter had been with him when that creature, that thing took him.

Your heart shattered even further when you saw Tony near death stumble out. No one else followed except for Nebula. You knew deep down Stephen wouldn't be there. You already knew he was gone. 

Nat and Steve were the ones who stayed outside with you as you sobbed and wailed. One hand on your pregnant belly, the other over your chest clutching at the cassum where your heart had once been. Nat rocking you back and forth, trying to calm you down and slow your breathing. Steve simply trying to keep you upright and holding your hair when your sobbing inevitably turned to dry heaving.

You don't remember how you got back inside. The next thing you remember was Tony having a little breakdown of his own. Understandably. You were swaddled in blankets staring blankly at the table. They had hooked both you and Tony up to IV drips. His anger didn't even phase you. Perhaps because it felt like an outlet for your own. 

You vaguely remember Tony saying that Stephen gave up the time stone when Thanos threatened your life and the life of your unborn child. Stephen's son. You had only found out you were having a little boy a few days before Bruce crashed through the Sanctum's ceiling. It went from being the best week of your life to being the worst week of your life.

He said that Thanos threatened to find and torture you in front of him if Stephen didn't surrender the stone. That for the first time during the fight, he saw fear on Stephen's face. He knew Thanos would keep his word. So he did what he had to to save you and your son. Not knowing or not caring that Thanos' snap may as well have blipped you, too. Tony said that the last words Stephen said were, "There was no other way."

You were sure part of your soul turned to ash at the same time Stephen did. Even though you were safely ensconced in the Wakandan palace, you still felt it as if you had seen it with your own eyes. It was like someone had reached into your chest and pulled out your heart. You had stayed near catatonic on the trip back to regroup at the compound with all of the heroes who remained. 

Since then, Nat had not let you out of her sight. Bruce and Steve were never far behind. Rhodey constantly brought you food and water, even though you refused to touch most of it. Pepper did what she could, but since Tony was in such bad shape, you couldn't blame her for focusing on him. Even Nebula and Rocket took turns sitting with you in those first few weeks.

You felt like a mental patient under constant observation for fear you would hurt yourself. Maybe that's what you were. Maybe that's why they didn't want to leave Tony and Thor alone for long either. Tony still had a long recovery ahead, and Thor already appeared to be spiraling into deep depression. 

For a long time, you refused to speak to Wong directly. It hurt too much. The first words you spoke to him were to tell him that you couldn't go back to the Sanctum. He understood what you couldn't say out loud, so he let you keep your distance. Telling you that all you had to evet so was call and he would be there. Guarding over the Sanctum and the home you and Stephen had been building together. Promising to leave everything untouched unless you said otherwise. 

For the next few months, the world around you felt like it was on fast forward. Perhaps it was just that you were moving in slow motion. You ate only when someone forced you to. Walked around the outside of the compound, but you had no interest in leaving the grounds. Preferring to spend most of your time curled up in bed, in the generic blank walled bedroom they gave you at the compound. You took care of yourself just enough to make sure your son would be born healthy, and he was. 

A thick head of dark brown hair and bright blue eyes that matched Stephen's. You nearly gave him up for adoption because how could you care for and love this perfect little being when it hurt so badly to even just look at him? You couldn't though. You could never give up your one remaining tether to your husband. To Stephen. Instead, you sunk every ounce of energy you had into caring for him. 

Your perfect little Vincent. The only silver lining you could find in a world without the man you loved. The reason you made yourself keep going. His sweet little smile was what kept you alive.

One by one, the remaining Avengers and Guardians started to leave. Rhodey had to help keep the US government and military functioning. Ayo literally had a whole country to run. Carol, Nebula, and Rocket were busy trying to keep other planets from falling apart. Pepper and Tony pretty much dropped off the grid during Tony's recovery. Val took over the responsibilities of New Asgard as Thor continued his own struggles, taking his solace in food and alcohol. Bruce left to try and find a way to peacefully coexist with the big green guy. Wong fell into the role of Sorcerer Supreme, putting the Kamar-Taj and the rest of the mystical arts power structure back into a working order.

--------------------------------

Eventually it was basically just Nat, Steve, you, and little Vincent. Nat was absolutely smitten with your little man. Stealing him away any chance she got, and encouraging you to focus on yourself. That it would be better for both you and Vincent, who she had taken to calling Vinny, if you found ways to take care of yourself too. Both mentally and physically. 

To pacify her, you agreed. Starting small with things you always used to love. Taking nice long baths or showers. Indulging in body care and fragrances that didn't smell like a mix of baby powder and lavender. You started reading books again that didn't have pictures or a rhyme scheme to them. Quickly working through everything in the compound. 

Soon your favorite thing to do was to have Steve take you into the city to visit your favorite little used bookstore, which was luckily still there. You went with Nat a couple times too, but going with Steve always felt better. Something about the white noise of his bike mixed with the wind whipping past you or the soothing sounds of 40's music in his car. Showing him you favorite books and ones that you thought he needed to read. He was content to just quietly wander through the shelves with you, 

Nat was always trying to get you further out of your shell. Like you were her own little pet project. Trying to get you to go to lunch after or go shopping for clothes. She even pitched going lingerie shopping one day. You practically ran back to the compound on foot after that. You were nowhere near ready for that. To be or be seen as a sexual or sensual being again. To move on. Your heart still belonged to and longed for Stephen. Even after it had been years. You still wore your wedding rings for Christ sake.

At night, you still even dreamed of him. Almost every night, Stephen would find you. You didn't know where you were, but the landscape was barren and cold until Stephen would use his magic to cast an image of one of your favorite places. The park near the Sanctum or even the rooftop of the old building. The two of you reminiscing about the times you snuck up there to get away from everything, listening to the sounds of the city. A moment of fleeting happiness in those dreams only to wake up to the cold reality that he was gone and that you had to go on without him. You hated your own mind for torturing you with such vivid dreams.

That was another reason you liked being with Steve on your outings. He didn't treat you like just a mom, but he never pressured you to try to move on. He certainly hadn't either, despite what he told everyone else. You could see it in his eyes. You both simply chose to exist in that moment. No talk of the future or the past. Eventually, you two did start staying out together longer. Expanding your adventures to include things like walks in the park, museums, an occasional movie, and meals. 

It was even with Steve that you decided it was time to pick up some of your stuff from the Sanctum. You didn't get much. Some of the things you had bought for Vincent before he was born, some of your clothes and toiletries, and a few photos of you and Stephen that you wanted Vincent to have. You wanted him to know his father, even if you weren't ready to talk about him much. Other than say how much Stephen would have adored him.

By the time you left, you were shaking like a leaf, even though you ran out of tears to cry a long time ago. After piling everything into the trunk of his car, Steve assumed you would want to go right home. Instead, you wanted to get drunk, telling him to go to the little Mexican restaurant you two frequented. Taking your normal table in the corner of the patio. It was a great spot for people watching.

Luckily, Steve talked you into stopping after two margaritas and a shot of tequila. Also making sure you ate plenty to absorb the alcohol. You were actually feeling better by the time you went to leave. Still telling Steve to take the long way back to the compound. 

"Can I take you somewhere I really like to go? When I just want quiet or want to think?" 

"Sure, Steve. Quiet sounds nice. I love Vincent so much, but he reminds me so much of Stephen. I don't know that I'm quite ready for that. I'll just shoot Nat a text saying she's in charge of bedtime." 

You ended up parked out in the most beautiful field at the edge of an apple orchard. As soon as you got out of the car, the sweet scent of the ripening fruit enveloped you. Paired with the remaining heat from the sun sitting low on the horizon and the cool breeze slowly moving in, it felt perfect. It was breathtaking. 

Your breath hitched a little when Steve's hands found his way to your hips as he helped you climb up on the hood of the sports car. Finding yourself extra self-concious when you turned to get comfy and inevitably ended up with your ass in his face. Noticing the blush you both wore when he went around to the other side and effortlessly pulled himself up next to you. 

He quickly folded up his leather jacket to place under your head. Holding it in place until you were laid back and settled before following you and laying down beside you. His strong arm pressed against you, the warmth of his body radiating off of him. The scent from his jacket, the leather mixed with his cologne, filling your nostrils. Suddenly, you felt drunker on Steve than even the tequila had made you feel.

He noticed you shiver and the goosebumps forming on your arms. Without even thinking, he put one arm around you and pulled you so your head was resting on his shoulder. Moving his jacket so it draped over the two of you like a blanket. You fought the urge to bury your nose into his neck.

Had he always smelled so intoxicating? 

Suddenly, you were feeling things you hadn't felt in literal years. Your body felt nearly electric. Even on those nights when you couldn't sleep and tried to sate an itch that you wanted to deny still existed, or when you dreamed of the passion filled nights you spent with Stephen, it didn't feel like this. It didn't feel like hunger. Like you were starving only to be plopped down in front of a big juicy Thanksgiving feast. It was too much and nowhere near enough.

You felt Steve's heart start to race as his enhanced sense of smell began to pick up what was surely the scent of your growing arousal. As the sun sank lower in the sky and the sound of crickets grew louder, the tension between you continued to grow thicker.  In a moment of bravery, you let your hand come to rest on Steve's abdomen. He let his hand that was wrapped around you start drawing shapes on your hip. 

You both knew you had reached the point of no return when his movements caused the shirt you were wearing to rise, and his fingers finally made contact with your bare skin. Your head tilted upward against his jaw as a needy moan feel from your lips as they pressed gently against his neck. Your teasing breath illiciting a hungry growl from the captain.

Time seemed to slow as he tilted his head down and gazed into your eyes. Seeming to seek confirmation that this wasn't in his head or that you weren't just drunk beyond all reason. The haze of lust in your eyes pushed him to place his lips softly over yours. It was comforting and sweet, and oh so different from the way Stephen used to kiss you. 

That was the reason why you deepened the kiss. Letting your tongue lick across Steve's lips until he reflexively thrust his tongue into your mouth. For the first time since Stephen left, you weren't thinking about how his touch or his kiss used to feel. How much you missed everything about him. You were relishing in the unfamiliar. You stopped thinking and let yourself be taken.

Pulling Steve's large form on top of yours and spreading your legs so he could slot his hips between them. Arching your body up into his at the way his weight felt on top of you. It felt so good. You couldn't stop yourself from wrapping your legs around his legs and dragging your fingernails down his back until you got to his ass. Digging your fingers into his flesh and pulling his pelvis to grind against you.

The feel of his bulge grinding against you making you hungrier for him. You quickly reached up and moved to pull your shirt off. Finally getting your first good look at Steve's face after throwing your shirt to the side. Strands of his dark blonde hair falling forward into his now clouded blue eyes. His cheeks were flushed, and his lips swollen. 

"God, you look so beautiful. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about this. I like being with you. Are you sure you want this? I don't want to pressure you." 

It was sweet, and you were very happy that Steve cared about your feelings and your wants. You liked being with him, too. Right now, though, you didn't want to think. You just wanted to feel. You desperately wanted to feel something good. If that good feeling was having Captain America pound you stupid on the hood of his car, then so be it. You would deal with the consequences afterward.

You quickly began unbuttoning his shirt as you spoke. Looking into his pretty blue eyes only for a moment before focusing again in the expanse of his bare chest coming into view. All smooth skin and a few freckles against thick muscle. 

"Just don't talk, Steve, just touch me, please. I just need you to touch me and kiss me. Okay? Right now, I just need you to take off your pants. Talk later."

He hesitated for a minute, then gave in. Nodding quickly and whispering, "Okay. Okay." Moving to unbutton and unzip his own jeans before moving over to yours as you pushed his shirt back off of his strong shoulders. Dragging your nails back down his newly bare chest before reaching back and bracing yourself on the cool metal of the car hood to help him lift your hips so he could shimmy your own pants down. 

The heat of Steve's gaze ratcheting up even more now that you were down to just your bra and panties. You didn't feel self-conscious or focus on the flaws you always saw in the mirror. For the first time since Stephen, you felt beautiful in someone else's eyes. Steve was seeing you bor just as a mother. Not just as a friend, but as a woman.

Steve descended back on you with the same hunger you showed him. Quickly tearing apart the rest of your clothing and exposing your most intimate places. His eyes darkened and a deep groan came from his chest. Before either of you could speak you wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him down to kiss you. Both of you letting yourself succumb to your desires. 

Your hands slowly moved to his hips, catching both his jeans and his boxer briefs and pushing them down in one go. Finally feeling Steve completely bare against you. Skin on skin. The weight of his big thick cock sliding against your wet cunt making you needy. 

You needed to feel him inside you. Needed to feel that delicious stretch. His fingers toying with your nipples already had you starting to tingle. It had been so long, and you didn't realize how much you missed being touched and kissed. How much you missed the feeling of being well fucked.

That's exactly what Steve Rogers made sure you were that night. Not stopping until he had made you cum at least 3 times before you went home to the compound. Of course you were so sensitive that he had you cumming with his first full thrust into you. 

By the time the sun was starting to rise, you and Steve had been at it for hours before finally succumbing to a few hours of sleep in each other's arms. Your alarm, thankfully, making sure you still woke up before Vincent. Until you figured out whether this was a one-time thing you didn't want to get him involved. As far as he needed to know, Uncle Steve was still just Uncle Steve. 

However, by the time the next evening rolled around, after showing Vincent all the photos and things you had picked up from the Sanctum, you hated yourself for what you had done. Even if he was gone, you still felt like you betrayed Stephen. So why did you want to do it again if you felt so terrible? Why was it all you could think of that night when you tried to sleep? Or what you found yourself daydreaming about it the shower?

You still loved Stephen with all of your heart and would give anything to have him back, but Steve had reawakened a part of you thought had died with Stephen. Up until that day, you had never even fantasized about anyone else. Just Stephen. It had been years since the blip. You had been pregnant when you lost Stephen. Now you had a dark-haired little toddler running around. He adored his Auntie Nat and Uncle Steve. He was happy even if he didn't have his real father. 

You wanted him to have a fully rounded life, and now that he was almost 5, it wouldn't hurt for him to have a father figure. To see his mother happy and loved. There would never be another Stephen, but maybe you could be happy with Steve. Stephen would want you to be happy, right? Maybe you could be a little family unit together. Even though your whole heart could never belong to Steve, you could give him part of it. Maybe that was all you could ask for.

You found yourself confiding in Nat. Needing to share the guilt you felt and hear everything you were thinking said out loud. Of course, you would take into account whatever advice she had to offer, but it was more that you desperately needed to share the thoughts that were eating at you. 

After spilling everything, you noticed her face was unchanged. Your brows furrowed as you saw the mischievous glint in her eyes and her biting at her bottom lip to keep from smiling. As you figured out exactly why she was holding back a grin, you buried your face in your hands. 

"Ugh… Steve already told you we slept together, didn't he?"

A snort came from the redhead, well half redhead half blonde. Already confirming your suspicions. 

"I caught him sneaking out of your bedroom the other day, and you know how terrible he is at lying. It wasn't exactly hard to connect the dots." 

Her smile faded when she saw the tears forming in your eyes. She came over to where you were sitting and pulled you into a tight hug. Starting to rock you back and forth when she heard your soft cries.

"I know how much you still love Stephen, and so does Steve. He's not expecting you to just forget about him. He knows how important he was to you. Stephen knew how much you loved him, and he would want you to feel love even without him. For yourself just as much as for Vincent. He wouldn't have sacrificed himself if he didn't. We all lost people, and we are all still hurting, but you deserve good things in your life. You deserve to feel happy and even find love again. Whether or not that is with Steve is between the two of you. You can't keep punishing yourself for what happened. None of us can. Maybe we all just need to finally move on. " 

You both sat in silence, holding each other close. Thanking the powers that be that even after losing the love of your life, you had found a best friend to help keep you sane. Both of you slowly sinking to the edge of sleep, drifting between the present world and the dreamworld where Stephen still visited you. Only for you to be snapped awake by the sound of knocking and a vaguely familiar voice. 

You cracked one eye open and found the security camera for the front door to be the cause of the disturbance. What you saw made your heart jump into your throat. Sticking his face right up into the camera was a man you knew only from his picture, the one that was displayed on the same board as Stephen's after the snap. It was the face of Scott Lang, who had supposedly been blipped 5 years ago along with the others. 

Without looking away from the screen you shook Nat awake. Sure that if you looked away from the screen he would disappear, either as a figment of your own imagination or a hallucination. You couldn't even form words to communicate properly until Nat realized what you were seeing. 

"Oh my god! Is that… Scott?"

"Nat, is that live? That's not video, right? How is that real?"

She bolted up from the couch and over to the monitors. Double checking the feed to make sure it was, in fact, live and that everything checked out. Making sure she followed all safety protocols before opening the door.

"I have no idea, but go get Steve, and you may want to put some coffee on. If this is real, it's gonna be a long night."

--------------------------------

Vincent loved having Scott there, and Scott was great with him. Showing him all sorts of card tricks and close-up magic. He was almost more goofy, big brother than anything. Even as the rest of the group started to trickle back into the compound, brought back together by Scott's time heist plan, Scott was still the cool one. With the exception of Rocket, because even close-up magic can't beat talking raccoon. 

You listened from the dining area at your son and his new friends gathered in the living room. All eyes on the toddler as he colored. Various coloring books and crayons scattered on the table being used by Scott, Rocket, Bruce, and Nebula. You and Steve were busy setting out plates and silverware while Nat and Clint had begun retrieving enough take out food to feed an army. Thor was asleep on the couch.

"Mommy says my daddy could do magic. He's not here to show me though, he disappeared with lots of other people. Maybe you and my uncle Wong could teach me how to do magic, and I can bring them all back? Then mommy won't be sad anymore." 

You could see Scott glance at you over Vincent's shoulder. Trying not to draw attention to the fact that he knew you were listening. The tears quickly blurred your vision before you moved to wipe them away. Scott didn't want to overstep his boundaries, not having known you or Vincent very long, but he knew he needed to say something to comfort the boy. He continued before Scott could say anything.

"I know mommy has me and Auntie Nat and Uncle Steve. She says her and Uncle Steve are special friends now, and sometimes he stays with her at night, but I know she still misses Daddy. Sometimes at night I hear her crying and it makes me sad that she's sad. I want to help make her feel better. Plus, I wanna meet Daddy. He sounds really cool." 

Well now that your son had outed you and Steve to all of the other Avengers in the room. You felt very much on display, like an exposed raw nerve. No one wanting to make eye contact with you except Steve and Nat. All feeling a little guilty at having left you knowing now that you still cried yourself to sleep most nights, at least the ones you weren't taking solace in Captain America's arms.

From the living room once more, you catch Scott trying to communicate silently with you. After some eyebrow wiggles and hand gestures, you figured out he wants to tell Vincent about the time heist plan. You assume not everything as Vincent is only 4, but just the fact that they have a plan to try. You figure what the hell, he's bound to notice all the commotion starting around the compoundanyways. 

Maybe it would be best to tell him, especially since it had already been decided the two of you would go to the Sanctum while the heist and ensuing fight was happening. It would be the safest place physically for you to be. Even if mentally, you weren't so sure. If it worked and Stephen did come back, you would have a lot less to explain. If it didn't work though, would your son's heart be broken just like yours? You weren't sure you could handle that.

After a few more seconds of thinking, you give Scott a little nod. Giving him the go-ahead to share the plan with Vincent. Who is he gonna tell anyway? 

"Can you keep a secret? It's an Avengers only secret. So if I tell you it means you're an official Avenger, okay? We have a plan to try and bring everyone back, but we need someone to make sure your mom stays safe while we do. So maybe we can put you in charge of protecting your mom for us? Nat says she's always getting into trouble, and we have to make sure to keep her safe for your dad. Plus, I wanna meet your dad too. He does sound cool. If he's anything like you, then he'll be really cool." 

"I've met him. Not that cool. Right Banner? Now, what's this you were saying about your mom and uncle Steve?" 

Tony Stark was always one to make an entrance, Rhodey not far behind him, and ultimately you were happy to have his sarcasm change the energy in the room back to a more playful one. Tony tilted his sunglasses down and gave your son a little 6 show him he was teasing. The same look he always gave Steve when he was giving him shit, which he had managed to do oh so quickly. Your son's giggle breaking the tense air around you as Tony clutched his chest and exaggeratedly gasped at the scandalous reveal.

You had to laugh at the way Steve rolled his eyes. You knew he wasn't one to kiss and tell, let alone when you were still another man's wife. Even if that other man had been blipped years ago by a mad titan. You weren't officially a thing, but you weren't not a thing either. Truthfully, you both had yet to figure out exactly what you were for each other.

You were surprised when you felt a hand on your shoulder and looked ovet to see Clint. A shell of who he had been. Deep black circles under his eyes, a mohawk, and a plethora of new tattoos. Having lost his wife and his kids you knew he had struggled to make it this far. He offered you a tight lipped half smile. A smile that said I know your pain, and in the case you knew that he really did know.

"I know it's not exactly the same, but speaking as someone who also lost a spouse you still seem to handling it much better than me. I know everyone lost people, but you really got a raw deal. You're doing a great job, mom."

You hadn't realized Nebula had left the living room until she chimed in as well. Her monotone voice doing nothing to hide her feelings as she spoke. 

"He is right. You are a good mother. Even if his father is dead. He is happy and loved. That's all I ever wanted… to be loved." 

You knew she meant it nicer than it sounded. She was just very blunt. You wanted to say something back to her. To tell her that she is loved. You wanted to hug her, but knew that probably wasn't the best thing. Instead settling for reaching out to put your hand on hers as she went to grab a plate. Her breath hitching and her body jumping lightly at even that friendly gesture.  

You squeezed her hand in yours and gave her a little smile and a nod whispering a silent thank you. Letting go before she had the chance to return the nod, not wanting to pressure her into responding further. Your smile growing when a soft "You are welcome" fell from her lips. Excusing yourself so you could go get Vincent as well as wake up Thor, and she could start plating her food. 

After everyone got their food and the plotting of how and where to find all the infinity stones began, you and Vincent began planning for your own adventure. Packing all that you would need for an extended stay at the Sanctum. Making sure you had everything important accounted for. The time heist and potential following battle could go any number of ways, you and Vincent had to be prepared for anything. No matter what happened.

So you packed your belongings and started the process of moving yourselves back to the place that for years had been your home. The Sanctum Sanctorum. Now, it just felt haunted and empty. Moving yourself and Vincent into new bedrooms and not daring to even open the door to the master bedroom you and Stephen once shared. 

Vincent was enjoying helping build the time machine however he could. Even just carrying tools or supervising. The time passed quicker than you would have hoped, and before long, the big day was staring down at you. Wong had made sure you were all settled in by then.

You and Steve had spent what, if all went according to plan, would be your final night together. He promised you that they would succeed, whatever it took. They would set the world right. That they would do it for you and for Vincent. 

It would be your job to throw the switches and start the time machine that would scatter the Avengers throughout time and across all corners of the universe. Then Wong would take you and Vincent to the Sanctum before leaving to gather the forces of the Kamar-Taj and the other Sanctums. 

One by one all of them gave Vincent a high five, a fist bump, or a hug as they climbed up onto the platform. Nat was the last one up, other than Bruce who checked all the settings one last time. 

You noticed an odd look in her eyes as she hugged you so tight you could hardly breathe. From the corner of your eye, you saw her slip two sealed envelopes into Vincent's Captain America backpack. Kneeling down at eye level and making him promise to keep you safe. Telling him how proud she was of him before kissing the top of his head and joining the others.

After Steve finished his signature Captain America speech, you told Vincent to go stand back on the other side of the room with Wong. To make sure if anything went wrong, he would be protected. Starting your countdown once he was at a safe distance. 

"Three… two… one… God speed."

As soon as the shockwave had cleared and all of them had disappeared, you checked the machine's settings against the paper Bruce and Scott had given you. Making sure everything looked stable and the platform was ready for their return. Starting the countdown clock ticking. It should only be five minutes in your time before they all returned.

Wong had already opened the portal to the Sanctum and sent Vincent through as you looked around at the Avengers compound one more time. On some level you knew that it was the last time you would see it. You didn't know what was coming next, but you knew there was no turning back now. 

And so you stepped through the gold glimmering portal into the grand foyer of the Sanctum Sanctorum. Once again your home. For better or for worse. Giving Wong a hug and a thank you before sending him off to ready the other sorcerers for battle. 

For now, your job was just to take care of your son. The only job you had really cared about for the last five years. Taking his small hand in yours and leading him into the dining room. While the others searched for the stones that could bring your husband back, dinner was the top priority on your list. For Vincent, you had to keep up a semblance of normalcy, even if every fiber in your body felt like it wanted to go hide under the bed.

All you could do was wait and hope…

--------------------------------

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[psychwxrdd]

happiness is a butterfly ୨ৎ

serial killer! roman godfrey, inspired by the lana song, mentions of murder, death of loved ones, grief, post traumatic stress, suggestive and angst in general

Since the day she met Roman, Y/n felt fulfilled, on cloud nine. She couldn't ask for anything better; The most handsome man she had ever met, almost every day spoiled her with expensive gifts, love and care. He was a gentleman to her, and despite the rumors about his family in town, she really liked Roman for who he was, for who he showed himself to be to her. And he was never anything but great.

Except for the times that he wasn't.

They started going out at a vulnerable time for her, her mother had passed away just a few weeks ago. She was an emotional wreck. Grief was the worst pain she had ever felt, it sickened and burned her soul every day and nothing could cure it except bringing her mother back. Dating the boy was helping her distract herself. Not that she was using him as therapy, but having some comfort and someone to hug at a time like that helped her a lot.

They were together, in Roman's room, the atmosphere was heating up. They kissed passionately while Roman lowered the strap of her thin blouse, trying to get to her bra. Y/n had been trying to avoid intimacy as much as possible lately, she couldn't concentrate. Not when all that came to mind were the tragic memories of the night she arrived home and there were police officers all around her place, two coming up to her and telling her that the woman who had once carried her on her lap had been brutally murdered.

You only remember receiving the news, and nothing else from that night. It was all a big blur, and trying to remember only caused you pain and turned your stomach, you wanted to forget at all costs but it had terribly changed the way your brain works. It wasn't a nightmare or a movie, it had really happened and nothing would change that. The trauma would stay with you for the rest of your life.

The police were still investigating who was behind the heinous crime, and while there were no answers, you didn't have peace for any second of your days.

"Roman..." You said almost in a whisper. He seemed to awaken from a trance, his eyes were dark and it was noticeable how much he wanted the moment to go on. He raised his eyebrows a little, looking worried.

"Are you okay?" He asked. You told him to get off you and he did.

It was embarrassing to talk about it, even though you were there almost having sex, it was worse having to verbalize your feelings. It was more intimate for you, it seemed more vulnerable.

"I don't think I'm ready yet..."

He stared at you with an unreadable expression for a few seconds, making you nervous. He smiled slightly then.

"Hey" he ran his hand through your hair "We don't have to rush anything, I understand. Let's do it when you're really ready, hm?"

You sighed in secret relief and looked down at the floor.

"You know... I know you've been going through some terrible things, so if you want to vent or talk... Or anything." He placed his hand on top of yours.

"Thank you, Roman" you smiled sincerely. You'd never thought the rich boy would have such a generous heart. You felt bad for not being able to give him what he wanted, what he needed, you felt useless and immature. You didn't understood your own feelings or validate them, Roman had been nothing but great to you lately. And you couldn't reciprocate.

"Is there anything I can do to reward you?"

"What?" He looked at you confused "Reward me for what?"

"For not being able to have sex."

"Are you fucking kidding? God, you don't need to reward me for this" he looked directly into your eyes, intensely, so that you would trust his words. "I just want you, I want your presence."

He lifted your chin with one hand.

"I'm in love with you, darling. Truly, from the bottom of my heart...Not for carnal reasons."

She held his wrists affectionately, her shining eyes staring at Godfrey's beautiful face. She loved smelling him up close, not just his perfume. The scent of his breath, something like genetic compatibility. It was nice and familiar, sweet. Comfortable. It felt like home.

As much as she felt millions of things bubbling in her heart and stomach, she couldn't say anything. Instead, she kissed him.

"Can we take a shower together?" She asked, shyly.

He nodded. She didn't know what would happen inside, even though they had just discussed it. He ran his thumb across the apple of her cheek.

"Come with me."

Inside the shower, nothing happened, nothing directly. It was something sensual, provocative and intimate, but it didn't end there.

The hot water falling on you, your wet skin touching, hugging each other, the kisses on your neck and the sighs, the strong scent of a expensive lotion... It was the most erotic thing you had ever witnessed, honestly. You weren't a virgin, you had sex a few times before, but nothing ever with this intense energy surrounding both of you.

You felt your desire for him burning, even though you couldn't bring yourself to go forward. Your tongues danced together slowly and passionately, the taste of water, mint, the soft feeling of his lips, the warm tongues that fit together so perfectly and deliciously.

Roman's hands roamed all over your body, caressing, squeezing, whispering hot things in your ear. When he turned off the shower and dried off, you were both still full of desire, and Roman carried you to the bed, covered by the towel. He lay on top of you, and continued the hot kisses. He separated your lips for a few moments, caressing them with his fingers. You opened your mouth slightly, letting him touch your tongue.

You sucked his fingers and he closed his eyes for a few seconds.

"Can I relax you?"

You thought a little. It wasn't sex after all, was it? You had already masturbated before. And he wouldn't hurt you, he wanted to relax you, make you feel good. Nothing bad would happen to you.

You nodded, but you had already confirmed with your eyes without realizing it.

Roman used his wet fingers to trace your intimacy, massaging your clitoris slowly and delicately. You closed your eyes, reveling in the sensation. It wasn't like he needed to get his fingers wet, you were already fervently wanting it.

"Don't close your eyes, look here, at me" He said softly. You looked, embarrassed, but the shame soon gave way to the desire to beg for more.

"Can i put my fingers inside? Is that okay?"

"Yes... please."

Roman gave you two orgasms that night. One by fingering you and the other by oral sex. When you both recovered, you put on clothes and lay down to take a nap. The afternoon had gotten cold, you were tired due to so much erotic tension that was felt in the air, it was heavy, intense.

When you woke up, Roman wasn't in the room... You looked around the corner and there was no sign of him. You got up searching for your phone to see what time it was. Shit, you had promised your friends that you would go to the university party with them that night.

"You're awake," Roman said, bursting into the room. "I had to go out to sort out some things."

He was wearing a different outfit than the one he had put on to bed a few hours before.

"I have to go now, I promised Lily and Isabelle that I would go with them to a university party tonight"

"I'll take you" He smiled, and you stood up.

"You can take me home, I'll go from there to the party"

"No, never, I'll take you and pick you up."

"Why don't you go to the party with me?"

Roman seemed to think about the proposal.

"I don't think I'm in the mood to party"

"Me neither" You confessed without realizing "I want to go to have fun, distract myself. Dancing makes me happy"

He dropped you home, and it didn't took long for you to get ready. Your natural beauty didn't need many details, you're a natural highlight.

Throughout the party, Roman was silent. Y/n danced with her friends and for some moment, she felt truly happy for the first time in weeks. Her chest was soft from the laughter that had genuinely escaped from the inside out. She felt light.

Roman was sitting in a corner, watching the girl intensely. There was no expression on his face, except for his eyes that almost undressed her on their own.

The girl exchanged looks with him and smiled, but the smile was not returned. She felt her chest hurt a little, that damn feeling again. She decided to check if he was okay.

"Come on, let's dance" She smiled with her teeth. Roman continued to stare at her without any reaction, leaving her embarrassed. "Is everything ok?"

"I'm leaving. Text me when you want to go home, I'll call you a taxi"

She couldn't keep her smile after hearing that. Her heart throbbed. Had she done something wrong? Why did he change so much in a matter of a few hours?

"Are you mad at me?"

He completely ignored her sentence, turning his back and walking away. Leaving her there, standing there, with her heart in pieces.

She ran after him. "Roman!"

When they were outside, Godfrey took off his blazer and handed it to her. "It's cold, wear it."

"Roman, what's gotten into you?"

"I have some things to sort out"

"Can't we at least dance?"

He stared at her for an uncomfortable long time.

"No." And he got into the car. She was there, with tears in her eyes, hugging his blazer. She felt in panic, helpless, heartbroken. All the times he told her he love her, did he meant it after all? Why was he always changing his behaviour all of sudden?

She got into the party again, but Roman never leaving her mind. So in love that it felt like she would throw up.

Over the next few days, she heard nothing from Roman, no calls or texts, nothing. She didn't want to bother him, but her heart hurt so much, what happened?

One moment, they were experiencing intense touching at his mansion and suddenly he seemed to ignore her existence. He had done this before, but it never lasted longer than one day.

She was even more depressed. It would be the one-month anniversary of her mother's death, and now she had also abruptly cut ties with the person she was desperatedly in love with.

Could it be some personality disorder? One moment he wanted her and the next he didn't, and would that be the case? Were they bipolar episodes? Issues with his mother? God, she questioned herself so much that she felt like her head would burn at any moment.

That Thursday morning, the local police had gotten in touch to say that they possibly had new information about the killer. Y/n was in a mix of panic, anxiety, melancholy and perhaps a possible relief for imagining that justice was coming for the one who took her mother's life.

She just didn't expect to find out that Roman Godfrey was the main suspect. Not only for her mother's death, it was suspected that there was a serial killer around. And that the police was almost sure he was guilty for all of them.

[justathoughtfulangel]

Nothing But The Truth ~ Kai Parker One Shot

*not my gif

Pairing: siphon!Kai X witch!Saltzman!Reader

Word Count: 3,388

Requested?: Yes

This is a sequel to "I'd Rather You Lie." I've done my best to make sure this piece is readable as a one shot, but if you'd like to read the prequel, please read it here.

This IS a reader insert fic; I just don’t like writing with Y/N in the place of names. Use Rosalie/Rosie/Rose as a placeholder for Y/N :)

Description: Kai betrayed her trust, used her for his own selfish means. Now, he can't bear the pain and hurt he's caused her. Malachai understands now that he loves her, but is love enough to mend a broken heart?

Warnings: angst/heartbreak and minor mature language

The story begins after the break! I hope you enjoy reading it :)

“I’d rather you lie.” 

It was easier for Rosalie when he lied. It had been easier to believe it was real. Now, she’d heard the lies so often she couldn’t possibly know what was true anymore. Kai’s ramblings came to a halt. Rose’s smile was more akin to a grimace. There were no tears in her eyes; there was nothing in her eyes as if there was no soul behind them.

Malachai had hurt many people in his life. He’d murdered his siblings, and he’d spent years torturing himself. Somehow, this emptiness in her was worse than all the damage he’d done combined. “Rosalie…” She just shook her head, walking passed him. There was still no emotion on her face as she hugged her winter jacket around her body. Kai watched her walk away, feeling the snow settle in his hair. The cold did not compare to all the pain that consumed him. 

He tried to take a shaky breath. With a choked gasp and unbearable pain in his heart, Malachai watched her until she became a speck of dust in the distance. The worst part of it all? She didn’t turn to look back at him once.

~

Was it his fault for breaking her heart, or was it hers for allowing him to hold it in the first place? Her brain and heart grappled over this question every night, making it impossible to sleep. Thanks to Kai, she couldn’t return to the life she’d once loved. There was nothing left inside her that would allow her to love. 

It wasn’t as if Rose was a stranger to pain. She’d been abandoned by people before. The people who brought her into the world had died. The ones who adopted her into their home as a child saw her as only a paycheck. Even Alaric was dead for a few years before miraculously coming alive again. None of those heartaches had destroyed her in the same way Malachai had.

Perhaps it was because it was her first time truly being in love. She couldn’t feel anything anymore, not even anger. Though her mind and heart disagreed on whose fault it was, they both knew feeling the agony of that betrayal would consume her.

For now, all she could do was continue existing in an endless cycle – school, work, Dad, friends, eat, sleep, repeat. ~

A new semester was starting after winter break, and Rosalie considered it a fresh start. She would put herself out there again; she’d try to come back to life. Rose was sitting in a large lecture hall, waiting for the professor of her creative writing course to arrive. She twirled her stylus around her fingers, making random doodles on her iPad. Someone sat down a few seats away from her, but she paid them no mind. 

The hall continued to fill, and Professor Smith arrived ten minutes late. She was fun, and her quippy nature made up for the tardiness. Listening to a professor review a syllabus wasn’t boring for once. Rosalie was paying close attention, jotting down miscellaneous notes about due dates and assignment details. 

“Your final paper, worth 30% of your grade, will be a writing piece: eight to ten pages long with attention to all topics and techniques we’ll review throughout the semester. Students who do best on this assignment never fail to present their learnings in a unique, refreshing way. Nothing should limit your imagination. Isn’t that right, boy who can’t stop staring at the girl in his row?”  Rose was looking at the professor when she singled out the student not listening. As did the other students, she, too, looked around to see who the professor was scolding. Her grip slackened on her stylus as she heard his voice a few feet away. She would know that voice anywhere. “Y-yes, Professor. I’m sorry.” The professor nodded and continued. Malachai stole one more glance in her direction when the professor’s back was turned, and his eyes met Rosalie’s after weeks of not seeing each other.

~

Before he could talk to her, Rose rushed out of the lecture hall. Was he stalking her now? Swallowing away the bitter taste in her mouth, Rosalie instinctively made her way to her dad’s office. Glancing at the time, she knew Alaric was giving a lecture. Unlocking the door with magic and locking it behind her, Rose collapsed onto the couch. Her head fell into her hands, and her foot tapped against the ground anxiously. 

Rosalie hadn’t yet asked her dad for Kai’s true story. She didn’t want to know it anymore; she told herself she didn’t care about him and whatever was causing him pain. Whether she would admit it or not, Rosalie was lying to herself, just as Kai had lied to her for weeks. 

She stayed in the same spot for hours, finally looking up when she heard the door unlock. Alaric smiled at his daughter, unsurprised to find her here. This was a first-day-of-the-semester tradition for them – tea in his office and unpacking what happened in their new classes. Ric turned on the hot water kettle, pulling out mugs and tea for them. He only noted her troubles when she greeted him without energy, and his smile faded quickly. “Rosalie? What’s the matter?” 

Rose sighed deeply, not knowing where to start. “I need you to tell me everything about Kai, Dad. Please.” The turmoil had been suppressed long enough; she bit the bullet and watched Ric’s expression twitch. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Hot water and honey were poured into their mugs. Rose kicked her shoes off, curled her legs under her, and claimed the steaming cup of tea. The silence was broken only when Alaric sat beside her on the couch.

He was torn about how much he should involve her but hiding the truth from Rose allowed Kai to hurt her. Ric wouldn’t hide things from her anymore. “Malachai is Josette’s twin brother.” A confused expression came over Rose’s face immediately. “Jo is in her early 40s. How is that possible?” To his credit, Alaric told her everything without biased embellishments, telling her the story exactly as Jo told him. 

Of course, even he didn’t know the story from Malachai’s perspective. 

He told her about how Kai was meant to merge with Jo and become the leader of the Gemini coven, how he was never worthy of the position. When he found out the thing he lusted after for twenty-two years would never be his, Kai snapped, murdering four of his little siblings in cold blood. Kai stuck a hunting knife into Josette and took out her spleen. Ultimately, he was after Lucas and Olivia. The Coven locked him up in a prison world, and he escaped when Bonnie and Damon ended up there after the Other Side collapsed.

Rosalie listened to everything, finding it impossible to believe that the guy she knew – the guy she thought she knew – was capable of all of this. Even as she left her dad’s office, Rose repeated the story in her mind. There had to be more to this story. No one was born evil. Something must have happened to Kai - something so horrible and cruel that his only choice was to protect himself this way. 

Alaric had heard the story from Jo, but he hadn’t seen the tears Kai shed when no one was around to see them. Whatever caused him to snap tormented him even now, and no one should live that way. Despite this, Rosalie didn’t have it in her to forgive him. Maybe it was selfish, but he’d used someone who trusted him for reasons she could barely justify. 

The door to her apartment closed behind her. Trying to push the thoughts away, Rose walked over to her fridge. She pulled it open, and the wave of cool air sent her mind reeling back…

Even on the drive back to Mystic Falls, her thoughts were consumed with Kai. He’d kissed her, and then he disappeared. What kind of decent person does that? Rosalie had begun to think that maybe she didn’t know Malachai at all. Her thoughts would be proven right a few minutes later.  When Rose entered the Salvatore House, she heard the flames of the fireplace crackling and voices coming from the living room. “How do you know my daughter?” Her dad was threatening someone, holding them by their neck as he tilted the chair towards the fireplace. Damon forced him away, trying to calm Alaric down. “Easy, Papa Bear. Kai’s going to cooperate. Talk. Now.”  Kai? Her Kai? No… “Didn’t you know? I’ve been dating her for a while. Here I thought she told you everything, Alaric. Of course, she thinks it’s real, which is sweet, really. At least someone among us has a heart.”  Kai kept on talking, but she heard none of it. It was as if her senses had been disconnected from her brain. “She’s just so welcoming… it was so easy to step into her life. I could get into all of yours and take what I’ve always wanted. But you really didn’t need to torture me to get that out of me, did you? I think I’m an excellent communicator.”  Damon and her dad had already seen Rose standing there, and when Damon forced Kai’s chair around, she registered the briefest flicker of remorse in his eyes. She didn’t have it in her to care, not right now. All she did was turn around and leave. The air outside felt so much colder than she could bear. It bit her cheeks as tears filled her eyes. Rosalie refused to let them fall. She would not cry over someone who was using her.

The tears that had refused to spill all those months ago came bubbling to the surface. Her knees buckled below her, and her hands rushed to cover her mouth as a pained scream came out. All the agony at his betrayal created burning trails on her cheeks, and as she curled up on the ground, her shoulders shook with each sob. 

Rosalie finally let herself admit that she had loved Malachai: she probably still did. She’d put her heart into someone’s hands for the first time and this was what she earned in return. Nothing in her life felt fair. How many more people would hurt her before she could finally be free? 

The anguish she’d failed to acknowledge and process now took over. It subsided hours later when the chill from the open fridge had coated her spine and the door beeped in protest. Rose gave it a weak push and it creaked shut. 

She’d loved him, and now she didn’t think she could love anymore.

~

Caroline smacked a piece of paper down on the table in front of Rosalie. “The annual Whitmore Bitter Ball is on Saturday, and you’re coming.” Rose picked up the flyer, smiling without amusement at the clashing black and grey letters. “Come onnnn, you’re the one that’s most bitter in love out of any of us.” 

Elena and Bonnie gave Caroline a withering stare, while Rose just shook her head. “Sorry… insensitive.” She cleared her throat, trying to dispel the awkwardness. “You should come, Rosalie. We all deserve a night out.” Elena was gently encouraging in stark contrast to Caroline. Rose didn’t know how she felt about it. “Okay, dance or no dance, at least come dress shopping with us? We need your opinions.” Truthfully, it sounded dreadful. After a long blink, Rosalie smiled and agreed. “Fine. It’ll be just like high school.” It wouldn’t be for her; it would be for her friends.

A few hours later, Rosalie was walking between aisles upon aisles of dresses. Some were gaudy and drew way too much attention. Some were too plain for a ball. Then again, maybe plain was best – something that could help her hide in the shadows as she attended the dance for the sake of her worried friends. 

Rose ultimately chose a silken, black gown. It had an attractive sweetheart neckline and golden embellishments around the waist. The skirt didn’t puff out obnoxiously, and with a golden mask to abide by the masquerade policy, it was the perfect disguise.

~

On Saturday evening, Rosalie found herself standing in the corner of the grand ballroom. People were all over the place: some drunk, some dancing, some crying, and some doing all of the above. Rose watched people move about behind her mask, twirling the straw around in her gin and soda with extra limes. She’d promised Caroline she’d stay out for an hour, and thankfully, the hour was almost up. 

Downing her drink, Rosalie walked across the dance floor. She had managed to artfully avoid the masses until she reached the bar. The glass clinked down onto the granite counter, right beside someone also attending this ball alone. He turned around slowly, setting down his own glass. They looked at each other silently for a few heavy seconds, neither saying a word. 

Malachai’s eyes shined in the dim lighting of the ballroom, swimming with numerous feelings yet glistening with the joy of seeing her. Rosalie’s expression remained passive, unreadable. She’d cried her heart out already. What was the next step in the process of healing from heartbreak? 

“I don’t know how a ball for the brokenhearted could be such a hit,” Kai said. Rose smiled without amusement, looking around at the crowd once again. “You never know, maybe lots of people have broken hearts around here.” Malachai swallowed away the knot of emotion in his throat, his eyes darting to the dance floor. “Maybe you’re right.”

He refused to meet her eyes, and it sparked something inside her. It was some convoluted mixture of rage, pain, desperation, and, most unexpectedly, a tinge of hope. “Dance with me?” She held out her hand to him in challenge. Kai’s gaze flit between her hand, the dancing couples, and the gleam in her eyes. Whatever brought it back, he’d missed it dearly. He took her hand, leading her to join the crowds. 

Rose let out a soft laugh at the song change, wondering if Caroline had something to do with the music. War of Hearts played over the speakers as Kai’s hand came to rest on her waist. Their fingers linked together, and this time, everything else fell away. 

Come to me in the night hours. I will wait for you.

Both recalled the same memories as they stepped in unison. Their awkward first interaction in the coffee shop. The first date where Kai was trying to be charming but ended up spilling soda all over his shirt. His tears when the thoughts of his past tormented him. The devastation they both felt when Rosalie found out about Malachai’s betrayal. 

“Have you been stalking me, by the way?” Kai almost smiled, his brow rising. “Would you believe me if I said I had no idea you’d be in the same section?” He twirled her around, pulling her back to him. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m supposed to believe, Malachai.” 

She’d been the only one who could use his full first name without making him flinch. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, and Kai sighed, resigned with himself. “I don’t know what I can say, Rose. You have every right to not trust me. Let me just ask you one thing, and then I will leave you alone.”

I can’t help but love you, even though I try not to. I can’t help but want you. I know that I’d die without you.

“Do you honestly think I didn’t break my own heart when I broke yours?” His arms wrapped around her as Kai selfishly pulled her close. If this was the last time, he needed to hold her close. The back of his hand brushed her cheek, and he memorized the feel of her soft skin. He was close enough to see the reflection of his dark, satin mask in Rosalie’s eyes. 

Rose didn’t know how to react. Her first instinct was to say no. He had sounded so convincing when he gloated to Ric and Damon about how he used her. How could that be the voice of someone with a broken heart? That same person stood in front of her now, looking at her with deeper affection and sincerity unlike anything she’d known before. 

Rosalie held the hand brushing her cheek, wrapping her own around it before stepping away from Kai. “Malachai, I can’t do this again.” Kai had let her walk away once. He wouldn’t give up without a fight this time. “Please… I promise I won’t ever hurt you. I won’t lie to you. From now on, nothing but the truth.” 

I can’t help but be wrong in the dark, ‘cause I’m overcome in this war of hearts. I can’t help but want oceans to part, ‘cause I’m overcome in this war of hearts.

With those words, Rose threw her arms around Malachai and kissed him. Maybe it was wishful thinking, or maybe it was just plain stupid. It didn’t matter. Not trusting him had been so unendurably painful; even if he played her again, it would be worth it.

Kai froze in surprise for a fraction of a second, not expecting her to give him the one thing he wanted most. He took her face in his hands, suppressing a sob of relief and joy. Malachai brought her closer, hugging her flush against his body. 

People still danced around them, oblivious to the two souls who’d found each other and would never part again.

~

The end of the semester approached, faster than anticipated. Malachai and Rosalie had spent the last months together, and true to his word, he hadn’t lied to her… until tonight.

In his lonesome years in the prison world, Kai had honed his cooking and baking skills. Tonight, after a long week of finals, they were making Kai’s chocolate chip cookies – a recipe he’d refined and mastered over twelve years. Rosalie was whipping together browned butter and sugar, and Kai was chopping chunks of dark chocolate into shards with a knife. The apartment smelled like toasted sugar, and their playful banter brought them much-needed laughter. 

“Where’d you put the vanilla extract I brought over?” Rosalie was looking in Kai’s kitchen drawers, and just as she reached one near the edge of the counter, he stepped in front of her. “Not in that one! There’s nothing in that one. Let’s move on.” Why was he in such a rush to get her away from that drawer? 

“Malachai… what are you hiding from me?” He sighed and stepped aside, remembering his promise to her. Rose didn’t take her eyes off him as she opened the drawer. Looking down, she halted in shock at the only object inside: a small black jewelry box.

Kai grabbed it before she could, putting it behind her back. She gave him a look, raising her eyebrows in question. “What are you hiding from me?” She repeated her question, her voice even more pointed, now with curiosity rather than suspicion. Adorably anxious, Kai nipped at his lower lip and tugged at his hair momentarily. 

Setting the box on the kitchen counter, Kai flipped its lid. Within it, tucked into cushioned velvet, lay matching silver rings. They were similar in style to the ones Malachai often wore, the metal bands thick and fairly plain. He removed them both, showing her the inscription inside the bands: nothing but the truth.

“This isn’t a proposal. Not yet, at least.” Kai’s nervousness didn’t help him get these words out, but when he looked up, looking into her eyes, suddenly it was much easier. “I wanted us to have something that reminds us of our journey and how far we’ve come. I want us to have these.” Before he said anything more, Kai slipped his ring onto his middle finger. Rosalie accepted his gift and put on her ring. She took his hand and laced their fingers together.  “Thank you, Kai,” Rose spoke with tenderness, holding Kai’s face. “I’ll never take it off.” Their lips met in a sweet kiss, and the smooth metal of their rings clinked together quietly. They squeezed each other’s hands lovingly, now certain neither would let go.

~~~

That's all for this piece! Thank you to the anon who requested I give them a happy ending; this story would not exist without you :)

Please feel free to send any thoughts/comments/constructive criticisms my way. I always welcome them.

If you’d like to be tagged in future Kai Parker works, feel free to message me/leave a comment here. If you liked this story, feel free to check out my other stories from my Malachai Parker Masterlist (pinned to the top of my profile).

Until next time, JustAThoughtfulAngel

Master Taglist: @socio-kai-path1972, @bluelicious, @genevivetaylor, @kolsangel, @callsign-luckyshot

[lolokouhm]

FUSHIGOVER pt. II [I HAD ONE JOB]

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

First of all, I didn't want to go to any party that night. Hear me out. From what I understood, my bare existence was apparently a threat to the cursed energy regulations in the school, so getting overly excited wasn't the best idea. Second of all, I somehow managed to avoid Fushiguro all day, so he wouldn't make my heart palpitations even worse. Normally, I'd also crack a joke about the whole "leaking" think in the context of Megumi, but even for me, it seemed completely inappropriate.

But that was a party Yuuji's decided to throw especially for him. Was I about to miss it?

Hell fucking nah.

I've said that me and alcohol didn't get along really well, but there was something about Nobara's drink-making technique that was making me forget about that awful relationship. Sometimes it made me forget even the parties, but such situations were quite rare. So when Kugisaki passed me a glass full of something, the only thought on my mind was...

"Cheers." Maki suddenly appeared next to me and sat comfortably on the couch. "Is that..." She pointed her glass in my direction. "Is that Nobara's poison?"

"Yeah. I was just supposed to be thinking about not getting hammered, but I don't think I can take it sober."

Maki laughed and looked around the room.

"Why is that dumbass not here yet?" She took a sip of her drink and sighed. "Yuuji's done literally everything to gather us here today."

Well, he did a great job, looking at the amount of people gathered in the room. Panda, Inumaki, Yuuta, all the first-years and even Hakkari were there. I guessed it couldn't be that hard though. Everyone waited. We were friends, and the friendship was even more hardcore than anybody could imagine.

I've had these thoughts from time to time. Looking at my friends, their scarred bodies, faces, hearts and souls - thoughts that made me angry. We should be dying from drinking too much during a party in Yuuji’s room every week instead of actually dying.

"Yo, Fushiguro!"

My heart stopped.

The room suddenly became way more lively, with students cheering, moving around and clicking their glasses. Somebody even got his hands on the light switch and started turning the lights on and off.

And in this whole mess, I couldn't breathe.

He stood there, leaning against the doorframe, a little bit taller than the last time I'd seen him, but also a little thinner. He wore black jeans and same colour long-sleeve that fit those broad shoulders of his so freaking well. His dark hair was messy, and it became even messier when he nervously ran his hand through it, definitely not expecting the excited reactions. For some reason, the nervousness in him was always mixed with a little bit of irritation, but I've known him long enough to see that in reality, he was glad. For some reason, he's never had too many emotions written all over his face. If you wanted to look for those - you had to do it right.

His eyes.

What a phenomenal thing, to be sitting. My knees went weak without even noticing. I stared and stared for what seemed like an enternity, and then I did the only one thing I could do.

"FUSHIGURO!" I pushed all my awfully lovesick thoughts as far as I could and jumped out of the couch, giving surprised Maki a small heart-attack. "YOU'RE BACK!"

Don't get me wrong now. I've never been the introverted type. I was just apparently really good at overthinking my feelings and these three weeks without him were the worst possible thing that could happen to me. Because I had been thinking. And really, was there that much to think about? I've had feelings, that's right. Romantic feelings. But my feelings were my problem and I had no intention of making them his problem. Not now, at least. It was under my control.

Fushiguro apparently heard me and he looked around, finally landing his gaze on me, which made me panic a bit, but being the fraud and impostor that I've always been in my little life story, I just smiled. I don't really think I'd smiled that sincerely ever before.

I had one job.

Just don't cry, you idiot.

Yuuji and Nobara had already hugged him and said their greetings. It was my turn.

And then, the world stopped once again.

It felt as if I made a wrong step. You know, the moment when you go up the stairs and you're ready to get even higher, but there's nothing - and you put your foot down and feel like you sink. The moment I got closer, the moment I could see him clearly, his soft scent lingering in the air, it felt as if someone took my heart out and ripped apart once again.

His cursed energy. Darker then ever, but his, so his, that it made me go insane. My hands started to shake. But here I was. A brave person.

"We've missed you." My voice was a bit quieter now.

And I hugged him.

He really became taller. And still, he was a little bit stiff, but the moment he wrapped his arms around me, I became exactly the same.

"Hi, (Y/N)."

I had one job.

I felt his breathing, slow and surprisingly relaxed, his warmth, this weird mix of his showering gel and... well, him, just him, and that alone made me kinda forget where I was. I turned my head around, to get a little bit closer to him, his chest, and then I heard it. The heart.

Beating.

It was like a wave. Honestly, a tsunami - as if it hit me and was ready, ready to rip him from my embrace, to take him away from me yet again, somewhere where I wouldn't be able to see him anymore. To hold him. To feel him. I squeezed my fingers on his black shirt even harder. It was definitely cotton. He wouldn't wear anything other than that.

I love you.

At that moment, I really hoped you could say it out loud. But I couldn't.

I had one job.

---

im getting emotional about this

[every-aj-needs-an-angel]

Chapter 9!! I genuinely cannot believe I've actually kept up with this 😅 honestly I'm the worst ask every teacher who ever wanted coursework from me 😂 the love and support I've received from everyone who's enjoyed this has been mind-blowing and I'm so grateful to each and every one of you 💖

Betting It All On Love

Robin, surprisingly, took him shopping, which was only surprising because of how much she truly hated it. She hated the crowds and the trends the masses felt a weird compulsion for, and that was before she got on to the whole thing about consumerism. But she knew how much he loved it, knew how a new outfit could bolster his mood, how the hum of voices echoing through the space soothed something deep in his soul.

The one advantage to still having anything to do with his biological parents was that they still paid off the credit card they'd given him when he had gone on a class trip to the zoo in middle school, so on the rare occasion he felt the need to go wild in the aisles, he didn't feel like he had to feel too guilty about using it. Especially when that meant he could buy Robin the plaid coat she hadn't been able to take her eyes off of from the moment they'd walked into the mall.

Especially when she grinned like that at her every reflection as she wore it around the air-conditioned space, which was far too chilly for the tee and shorts combo she'd chosen for the day. Not that Steve was quite sure why there was a surf and ski clothing store in the middle of Nevada, but it didn't matter, he knew the coat would be perfect for when winter came to Indy. It hadn't been quite perfect in the moment, of course, and he was seriously considering giving in and just going into the nearest store to buy her yet another hoodie.

"Steve, I'm hot!" Robin whined as she wandered listlessly by his side.

"So take the coat off," Steve reasoned calmly, shifting the shopping bags in his hands to take some of the pressure off of his tattoo.

"But then I'll be cold!" she countered.

"Truly a cross to bear," Steve muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes to himself as he steered them back towards the souvenir stand; because no way we're they ever going to own another average hoodie, it was going to be the most disgustingly gaudy 'I heart Vegas' glaringly obviously touristy hoodie humanly possible. 

Except as they continued to stroll along their new route, it took them right past the food court, Robin enthusiastically exclaiming "Ice cream!" That was how they ended up crammed into a booth, the amount of bags they'd acquired practically pushing them off their seats, a giant bowl of banana split sitting between them as they both picked their favourite parts out of the dessert.

"So, how's things going with Chris?" Steve asked as he shoved a spoonful of strawberry ice cream into his mouth.

Robin nodded, chewing thoughtfully on the caramel coated banana, "Good," she admitted, blushing deeply and ducking her head. "She's amazing, Steve, I've never met anyone like her. She's like a ray of fucking sunshine, you know? Like the kind cats curl up in. Just joy and warmth and, I don't know, magic, or something," she gushed, waving her hands and her empty spoon around as she talked, saying more about her feelings than what was actually coming out of her mouth.

She bit the inside of her cheek but couldn't keep the lovesick grin off of her face as she stared into the distance, gazing vaguely at the lime green vinyl of the booth seat just over Steve's shoulder, "I swear to God, at Charlie's last night, I was this close," she pinches her finger and thumb together so there's only the tiniest sliver of light between them, "to asking her to marry me! And not just drunken Vegas marrying, like full on, come home and meet my folks, months of planning and white dresses, marrying. That's insane, right?" she asked, finally looking at his face.

Steve wasn't entirely sure how he was supposed to respond, part of him was insulted that she thought his marriage was less than because of how it had happened. Part of him was just incredibly proud of her. It was crazy, and it also wasn't crazy at all. Sometimes when you know you just know and given how long they'd all actually spent together, it wasn't like she was just jumping in feet first. Robin had probably spent more hours with Chrissy than she had ever spent with Sammi and that relationship had felt like it was never ending.

Luckily, he was saved from actually answering when, after swallowing another mouthful of partially melted chocolate ice cream, she jabbed her spoon at him and exclaimed, "And oh my god, Steve! In bed! The best I've ever had!" And Robin might've continued to elaborate on that, but Steve had unceremoniously dropped his spoon to cover his ears and “la la la” loudly until her lips stopped moving.

It was a running joke between the two of them, the first guy he'd been on a date with after Billy had been phenomenal. Alex had blown Steve's tiny small-town mind, and even though they’d both agreed that their relationship would only ever be a casual hookup, it hadn’t stopped him from wandering around for three whole days like he was on an actual cloud. Robin had quickly become sick of his permanent grin and had asked him "what the fuck he had to be so happy about?" She hadn't liked the answer and ever since whenever either one of them went into specifics about their love life that was what the other one did.

She laughed, and he did too knowing full well she'd tell him, in intricate and unnecessary detail, all about Chrissy's skills in the bedroom as they finished their shopping spree; they still had to find Dustin’s book after all, and they both knew he would listen while she gushed about what an incredible lover she'd snagged, and he'd try desperately not to be green with envy that she'd found the love of her life and was actually going to get to keep her.

They didn't talk about Eddie, he could tell she wanted to, she kept opening her mouth to ask questions and then just snapping her jaw shut and carrying on, distracting him with pretty things and tasty foods. Part of him was glad. Part of him wanted to talk it through with her. Part of him just wanted to enjoy time spent with his best friend and live in the delusion that everything was fine. He had no doubt there'd be plenty of time to talk about it when they got home, even if Robin and Chrissy immediately moved in together, and he had to learn to talk to Chrissy the same way he talked to Robin (which he honestly didn't think would be that difficult) he had no doubt that they’d make space and time for him to mourn his loss, and maybe even mourn it with him.

At least with Chrissy across the hall, he'd finally have someone to watch sports with again. Chris' taste in sport had so far been Robin's only complaint. She'd been excited to finally find someone she was attracted to who actually liked sports but had been quickly disappointed to find out that Chris preferred watching basketball and the NFL like Steve, which meant that Robin still wouldn't have anyone to watch soccer with.

Even though Steve was always happy to watch it with her, he just didn't share her enthusiasm for it. That was the thing that apparently baffled Robin, because “how could any self-respecting bisexual not enjoy a field full of men in tiny shorts chasing a ball?” And honestly, it was the chasing the ball part that seemed to be the off-putting bit. It kinda felt more like watching golden retrievers in the dog park, and although the whole point of football and basketball was to get a ball in a goal, he was proud that neither were a game a dog could play.

As he was ambling around the bookstore looking for the fantasy section, it occurred to him that it would probably be the last time he’d be asked to do anything like this for the kids. Not that you could really class a bunch of twenty-somethings as kids anymore, but it occured to him somewhat horrifyingly that all of them were about to start going out into the real world. They’d all soon be grown-ups and would soon have to deal with all the problems that came with being an adult that were coming for them thick and fast. Real relationships and jobs and rent, for most of them this summer would probably be their last one at home with their parents.

It might even be the last summer he had a chance to see some of them ever again. Max still wanted to go home to her dad and the chances of him getting an invitation to California were probably slimmer than he’d like to admit. As he picked up the copy of Earthshaker he’d been searching for, he vowed to himself to spend more than one weekend back home before they all headed back to college. Take his camera home, organise a big party, and tell them all how much he loved them. It’d be fine, the summer wasn’t over yet. 

Robin interrupted his rapidly derailing train of thought when she came bounding around the bookshelf, a stack of books cradled to her chest like a newborn. He purposefully didn’t ask, especially when he could see that the one on the top of the stack read ‘Nuclear Medicine In Tropical And Infectious Diseases’. He just grinned knowingly and waved Dustin’s book in the direction of the register, mainly because they both knew full well that given the opportunity, Robin could and would happily spend the rest of their vacation immersed in the endless racks and shelves. 

He did, however, self indulgently snag the latest Jackie Collins novel to add to his growing collection as he passed by the display. Sweet old Mrs Johnson had been the one to get him hooked. She used to read them when she would babysit, at first to herself, but then there’d been a bad storm one weekend when he was six and the electricity had gone out for hours. It was winter so although it had been early in the evening, it was dark and he was scared. But Mrs Johnson had just pulled him into her lap and let him curl into her while she read by candlelight.

He hadn’t really understand the story itself, but she had had a nice voice, and he had liked listening to her read. From then on it had been what they had done on rainy days. In fact, the weekend before she had died, it had been stormy, and they’d spent two whole days curled up in her favourite armchair in his living room while she read to him.

The books had made him mad for a while, after she’d left him, but then when he was older and trying to navigate high school he quickly realised he preferred the salacious crime novels to Shakespeare or Chaucer that were, as far as he was concerned, basically the same thing but written in another language. It hadn’t been until he was older still that he realised that some of the characters in those books had also been vital in helping him create the King Steve persona that kept him safe for four years.

 

Steve hadn’t realised how quickly the day had disappeared until they made it back to the hotel. Not that he minded, his stomach full from the tacos they’d been unable to resist, and he’d had a wonderful day with his best friend.

They’d bought so many things that even in the short walk from the lobby, his fingers had started to take on that distinctive claw shape as the handles had dug into his skin. Sighing heavily in relief as he finally released the bags onto his bed, and again in frustration as Robin cheerfully tried and failed to check their voicemails, nearly making a collect call by accident. He used his one still fully functioning finger to press the necessary buttons, flopping down next to his best friend on her bed.

Beep. “Hi. It’s me. Chrissy,” she paused giggling to herself, “I hope you two are free tonight! Meet by the creepy looking goat statue at six?” she sounded so happy and hopeful, Steve couldn’t keep the endeared smile off of his face. Robin almost cut the message off before Chris had had chance to finish, and he couldn’t help feeling like a bit of a hero when he stopped her movements just in time to hear “Okay, see you soon. I love you!” Beep. 

Robin’s eyes immediately bugged out, if she wasn’t careful it was likely they’d fall out of her head altogether. She glanced franticly between Steve and the phone, her whole demeanour screaming “You heard that, right?” Steve grinned and jostled her playfully, enjoying the deep blush on her cheeks and her silent fluster as she processed what she’d heard.

Not that they really had time for an emotional crisis, “Come on, blushy! If we’re meeting at six, that only gives us half hour,” he reasoned, flipping himself off the bed and heading to his wardrobe to find his black pinstripe shirt and dark jeans. He had no idea what they would be doing, but it’d be a fine outfit for an evening in Vegas.

He was standing over the sink adding some serum to his hair when he heard her mumble from the doorway, “Isn’t it a bit early for ‘I love you’?” She sounded so small and hesitant, he dropped his hands immediately, stepping over to her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders, being extra careful not to get sticky fingers on her fancy blazer.

“Is it ever too early to say how you feel?” he asked, pressing his cheek against the top of her head.

“I don’t know” Robin muttered glumly, grabbing two fistfuls of the back of his shirt and scrunching it between her fingers anxiously. “There’s no way she meant “I love you” right? I mean, she can’t be in love with me, Evie. It doesn’t make any sense! We’ve known each other for what? A few days! There’s no way she could… She must’ve meant “love you” you know? Like in a friend way,” she rambled frenetically; whether she was trying to convince him or herself, he really couldn’t say.

Steve hummed thoughtfully, “Does it feel like love in a friend way?” he asked evenly.

She scoffed harshly like he expected her to, “No! But she wasn’t just talking to me, she was inviting both of us,” she pointed out.

It frustrated him how easily she could convince herself that people couldn’t possibly love her. He sighed heavily trying really hard not to roll his eyes, “She was talking to you,” he affirmed, because he had heard that message, and contrary to popular belief he wasn’t actually stupid, and he’d witnessed with his own eyes how crazy Chrissy was about her, how crazy she was about Chrissy.

Huffing loudly, she removed herself from his hold, so she could look him in the eye “But it’s been days!” she whined, still trying to convince someone that the facts weren’t the facts, probably because she was actually just kinda scared.

Steve just shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah, but how many hours has it been? How many hours did you spend with Mickey? You were in love with her. How is this different?” he asked, rather reasonably considering she was driving him up the wall because how could she not know by now how easy she was to love.

“Does sleep count?” she asked, wincing even as the words fell out of her mouth.

He laughed dryly, “No, Robbie, you can’t count hours you weren’t conscious for!” he deadpanned, tugging her back into his chest before she could start pacing like a caged tiger.

She made a pained sound in the back of her throat as she leaned heavily into him, gripping the sides of his shirt, moving her fingers around as she counted against his ribs. Eventually, after at least three recounts, she huffed the way she always did when he was right for a change.

“Do you think maybe you’re freaking out because you feel that way too?” he asked calmly.

“Maybe,” she muttered sighing heavily like she was holding the weight of the whole world. He knew he’d hit the nail on the head when she huffed a frustrated breath through her teeth and pushed him off, “How would you feel if Eddie said that to you!” she accused, pointing a finger at him.

Steve snorted derisively, too tired to be anything but honest, “Honestly, I’d be fucking delighted. I’m so fucking in love with him, it’s insane!” he admitted, trying desperately to ignore how whiney and pathetic he sounded.

All the fight dissipated out of her as he spoke, her eyebrows scrunching together in sympathy, “Really?” she asked softly, a pained look taking over her face when he nodded solemnly, “Have you told him that?”

Steve snorted a humourless laugh, “No! Jesus, Bobs, I’m not a complete fucking idiot!”

“But you just said--”

“Yeah! Because it’s obvious you feel the same way!” he yelled, not entirely sure why he was shouting. It wasn’t her fault he’d got himself all tangled up in infatuation again, “Sorry,” he muttered.

Robin wasn't fazed though just waved off his apology and raised a singular eyebrow at him, “And it’s not with Eddie?!” she asked condescendingly, folding her arms over her chest.

“No!” Steve exclaimed, because it was very unobvious, thank you very much! Robin didn’t argue with him, just threw her arms in the air like he was being the frustrating one, tutting and heading back into the bedroom to finish getting ready, leaving Steve to deal with the silence and his half serumed hair.

Chrissy, as it turned out, had procured tickets for a boxing match of all things. It wasn't something neither he nor Robin ever would've chosen, but apparently Chris' best friend from her cheerleading days, Beth, was now a ring girl, and she had pulled some strings and got them into a private box. They had their own bar and a balcony view over the proceedings, meaning they could see everything without getting coated in blood, it was different but once-in-a-lifetime experiences were kinda what Vegas was all about.

Robin was leaning with her back against the bar, Chrissy curled into her running her hands up and down the lapels of Robin's jacket, both of them giggling and whispering like schoolgirls. As much as he was glad Robin seemed to have overcome her earlier conflict, he was starting to find it all a bit sickening. It wasn’t their fault, and he wasn't really mad with them at all, he'd just been in a terrible mood since bickering with Robin and the dark cloud hanging over his head had only worsened when Eddie hadn't been waiting with Chrissy in the lobby like he had hoped.

He'd offered to go back to the room, part of him wanting to let them have a night to be together, the other part just wanting to be alone so he could sulk some more, but neither of them would let him. They’d giddily pulled him into their hold, linking their arms with his and practically frog marching him out the front door of the hotel and into the waiting taxi. 

In the seclusion of the private space, however, and with two or three shots in each of them, both girls had dropped all their inhibitions and seemed to have forgotten all about him. Honestly, he’d never been a third wheel before, not even with Tommy and Carol but he was seriously starting to feel like he should go home and call Barb and apologise for every time he and Nancy had made her feel how he was feeling because maybe he was technically married, but he’d never felt more single or more alone.

He sighed heavily, snagging a beer from the bartender and heading out onto the balcony, leaning heavily against the railing surveying the crowd below him. The venue was packed, not a single empty seat to be seen anywhere, which struck him as odd because the match wasn't due to start for at least another twenty minutes, and he'd been to enough ball games in his life to know that normally there was a mad dash to grab your seats before the game actually kicked off; but apparently the ring girls were supposed to be their entertainment, like some sick warm-up act.

The last time he'd seen a crowd as rowdy was at the strip club when he'd been inexplicably invited to Mark's stag do. Mark was his dad's number two, the guy being lined up to take over the company when his old man finally bit the dust. The bloke had spent the whole night weirdly trying to rub it in Steve's face how close he and his dad were, only finally shutting his mouth when after four beers Steve had lost his temper and had casually asked: "So are you sucking his dick, or--?" Mark had blushed furiously, started stuttering and stammering and had quickly disappeared. Steve had just downed the rest of his beer and hailed a cab, heading home to Robin to bemoan a wasted Saturday night.

Robin had whined about how it hadn't been fair that he'd been invited, but she hadn't. Everyone at the company had assumed they were a couple and after their first few jobs together they'd learned to just stop correcting people. Mainly because if they didn't their coworkers wanted to know why there weren't dating and usually "because we're like siblings" wasn't a good enough answer and then they had to deal with months of constant badgering and peer pressure to hook up. Robin had been right, of course, she would have enjoyed the strip club far more than he had. Personally, he thought grown men drooling over a half-naked woman, especially ones young enough to be their daughter, was a little grim.

A petite brunette who he assumed was Beth when she'd bounced up and down waving excitedly to him as she had headed into the ring, and her friend, who were both dressed in nothing but a metallic bikini and high heels, seemed to be enjoying themselves, however, especially when Beth's friend caught the attention of a stag do sitting in the front row. 

The groom-to-be was obviously a high school jock surrounded by his "bros" and by the looks of things, either his father or the father-in-law-to-be who was glancing anywhere but at the ring, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. It made Steve shudder to think that if his life had gone a little differently, if he and Nancy had stayed together, if he'd stuck with Tommy and the team, would that be him now? Would that be his dad? Or worse, poor Ted? 

Thankfully he didn't have more time to dwell on it when Robin appeared next to him bumping purposefully into his side, swapping his empty beer for a cold one with a gentle smile. Chrissy quickly joined them on the balcony carrying a beer and a tray of nachos to share, shouting over the noise of the crowd to explain the rules to Robin when she had asked how they'd know who won.

Steve knew Robin knew the rules of boxing. Mainly because her grandpa had been an Olympic boxer, but he wasn't about to call her out on it. Plus, he liked how patient Chris was with her, he thought it was sweet when he wasn’t busy being a grumpy bastard.

The ring girls left the ring, Beth waving enthusiastically, shooting Chrissy a few hand gestures that Steve didn't understand but made Chrissy belly laugh as she headed out of sight. Then it was time for the match to get started; two gigantic blokes followed by a team of helpers charging into the ring, bouncing on their toes next to the smallest ref Steve had ever seen.

There was a bit of chatter and then the bell dinged, the ref moved, and the giants started to dance around one another, sizing each other up and dodging a few hits before the real action started. One hit, two. The excitement of the crowd and the anticipation were getting Steve's adrenaline pumping. 

That was why he jumped three feet in the air when he felt hands land on his waist (that's what he told himself anyway).

Eddie laughed brightly as Steve spun around, his hands raised placatingly, "It's only me!" he yelled, giggling adorably. He smiled, placing a careful hand on Steve's shoulder and squeezing some of the tension out of his shoulder blade with gentle fingers. Slipping Robin a placating smile as she no doubt glared at him over Steve's shoulder. He elbowed her absentmindedly, giving her a look that said "eyes on your own date!" before turning his full attention to Eddie.

Steve was honestly kind of dumbfounded by Eddie's presence, when Chrissy had been alone in the lobby, he'd just assumed that Eddie wouldn't be joining them at all any more. He wouldn't have been at all surprised to find out that Eddie had packed up and gone back to Indy with Dan, even if he had spent the past half an hour trying desperately not to think about the implications of that. Especially when Chris had deliberately not said anything when Robin had asked the only question that had been on Steve's mind, “Where’s Eddie?” 

Even a foot away Steve could tell something was off, Eddie’s eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and he’d done a terrible job of trying to hide it behind a thick layer of eyeliner. There was a permanent red patch down the side of his nose, like he’d scratched or rubbed at it too many times, bursting the tiny blood vessels. His hair was overly oily at the roots like he’d spent the day running his fingers over his scalp and his fingernails were bitten down to the quick; the skin looked painful to even look at and Steve had no idea how he’d dealt with acetone and nail polish to repaint his nails.

It was the gasp of the crowd reacting to the first real punch landing that brought him back to himself. Steve glanced behind him in time to see blood pour from the slightly taller one's mouth, followed by cheers and screams as the smaller of the two landed a second punch.

Steve shook his head, immediately turning back to Eddie, "Hi," he mumbled in astonishment.

Eddie smiled cautiously, "Hi," he greeted, stepping closer and reaching up to tuck a loose strand behind Steve's ear, "I'm sorry I'm late," Eddie yelled over the roar of the crowd, "Can we talk? After the match?" he asked nervously.

Steve's brain very obviously and very quickly went to the worst case scenario, that Eddie was here to officially ask for a divorce, but his poker face must not be what it once was because Eddie cupped his cheek gently forcing Steve to meet his gaze, "No! Nothing bad, I promise. I just want to tell you about my day, maybe we could go for that dinner we talked about?" he asked hopefully, pulling Steve’s SuperEl shirt out from behind his back and offering it to him.

Steve blinked at the shirt for a second and felt the smile tugging at his cheeks threatening to split his face in two. Hope starting to bloom unchecked in his chest, making his heart skip out of beat. Eddie's hopeful little smile had been the most adorable thing he'd seen since he'd seen him drooling into his pillow that morning.

Eddie beaming back at him when Steve nodded bashfully, nervously tugging the collar of his shirt through his fingers, came in a close third. Eddie’s hand got dislodged from his face when his head automatically flicked back to the action when the crowd let out an elongated "ooh!" as one of the boxers went down hard. 

Steve took the opportunity to take Eddie by the hand and lead him out onto the balcony, leaning against the railing to face the action, waiting for Eddie to mirror him and get absorbed in the match, then turning to watch Eddie react with the most adorable second-hand winces as the smaller boxer tried and failed to get up.

Steve quickly found himself wanting to watch Eddie more than the fight. He tried to stealthily turn his whole body so he was leaning sideways against the railing. The metal bar digging into his ribs a painful reminder that he was here and this was real. That Eddie was with him, and he wanted to go to dinner and talk. That he wanted to tell Steve about his day! Wanted to take him on a proper bonafide date! Because he’d brought Steve his shirt. Honestly, he’d forgotten that he’d even left it in Eddie’s room. The thought that he must’ve hung it up in the closet for him, so it wouldn’t get wrinkled was so sweet it was making his heart want to burst out through his chest. 

He knew he must look like the worlds most lovesick fool stood staring at Eddie's profile like he was the most beautiful man on the planet (which he was) and like he was the luckiest man alive to even be in Eddie’s presence (which he was) but he just couldn't find it in himself to care, he was going to take this moment while he could and store it in his heart forever.

The bell dinged again and Eddie looked over, flicking his eyes down noticing Steve's posture and smirking to himself. Steve felt the blush creeping up his neck and turned back to the action, forcing himself to not push himself too far into Eddie's personal space, but he needn't have worried. As soon as Steve was settled against the railing again, Eddie threw his arm around his shoulders, jostling him lightly and smiling joyfully at him, pressing a gentle kiss into his shoulder.

As the match went on Eddie's arm slowly slipped down his side holding onto his waist, then slipped further down to his hip where Eddie gave up and just hooked his thumb through Steve's belt loop, tucking his chin over his shoulder and pressing the odd kiss to any bit he could reach but just staying as close as he could, curled tightly into Steve side for the rest of the night; until the bigger of the two boxers had been knocked down for the final time, and it was time for the masses to disperse.

-------------------------

Part 10

tag list my beloveds @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @adhdsummer @nerdfighteratheart @anaibis @dolphincliffs @hbyrde36 @marinarasarah @deadflowercollector @lunabookworm @a-couchpotato @wonderland-girl143-blog @ddharrington @abstractnaturaldisaster @lololol-1234 @bestwifehaver @steviejeebiez

[awakandanavenger]

Hey I saw that your taking request so here I am ! By the way How are u ? How was your day ?

My idea was a story with Natasha an x reader i heard it a long time ago. So Nat and the reader are in a relationship and the reader squezze Nat hand 2 time very gently several time a day and multiple days. Nat never question it at first but then one time she ask her and the reader just froz and keep being silent u know. So nat just let it go and it the end of the day Reader explain that that her way to say I love you without saying the actually words because its hard for her to tell that she love her.

And u can finish it the way u want to ! Love u ! Have a nice day !

I Show It, Don't Say it (Natasha x gn!reader)

Word Count = 432 (roughly, also sorry it's so short. I also tried to keep it as close as possible but not sure if some bits changed.)

A/N - I NEVER proofread my works even on Wattpad I never proofread! So, apologies for any errors and I expect there will be some. I am also trying to write in present tense as I usually write in past tense so this is definitely a change.

A/N - Thanks for the request. This was out of my comfort zone but it's fun to explore new ways of writing which may come in handy for my novel I am writing. And my day has been mostly boring tbh, lectures but oh well. I have no lectures tomorrow or Wednesday so I can write more fics! And hope you all have a nice day too! :)

I’ve been dating Natasha Romanoff for a while now. Two months to be exact and things are starting to get serious now. The only problem is, I want to tell her I love her but I’m just to scared to. So, for now, I have decided to find other ways to let her know just how I feel. I think it's working because we seem to be in a better place than ever!

Right now, I'm out on a walk with Nat hand in hand. We walk in a comfortable silence. Without even realising, I squeeze Nat's hand every now and then. Why? Like I said before, I want to tell her I love her but I'm just too terrified. The possibility of rejection lingers in my mind if I say it out loud. One thing to know about me is I am an over thinker and this is one of the many situations I overthink and generally come up with my worst outcomes in my mind.

The silence is broken when Nat starts speaking. "I have to ask. What's with all the little gestures you do?" "What do you mean?" I ask hoping the conversation I've been putting off for so long isn't about to creep up. "Like when you squeeze my hand every so often. I'm just curious as to what the reason for that is." Yep there it is. Crap. This is it then. I either tell her how I feel or make something completely ridiculous up to avoid the subject which can only have disastrous outcomes. Then again so can actually confessing. So, I may as well come right out and say it.

"You wanna know why I do small gestures such as that?" I ask and she nods waiting for my answer. I take a deep breath trying to stop a panic attack from forming. "It's because I love you." I simply say. Nat freezes and now and is staring me right through my soul. "You do?" She asks unsure of what to say. "I do and I show it, don't say it."

Natasha goes silent again but this time she is deep in thought. This is probably the part where she is going to reject me. But to my shock, she instead takes my hand back in hers and we start walking again but I did not fail to notice the gentle squeeze she gives to my hand. All my fear of rejection has now gone out of the window knowing that she loves me back. Needless to say, the rest of the walk is very peaceful.

A/N - Hope you all enjoyed it. Again sorry it's so short. I need to work at making my fics longer especially if I'll be doing more on here.

[crack-art-n-stuff]

New Desires

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

”Are you sure you wish to make a contract with me?” The demon’s rose tinted lips turned up in an amused smirk. “You’d be selling your soul to me for eternity. You will never know the Elysian Fields or see their splendor in the afterlife.”

You tilted your head up to make eye contact with the demon above you, his heart tipped tail swaying, in slight amusement. You didn’t plan this for your life. You just wanted to know success. You wanted to grasp and taste that sense of accomplishment with your own hands and lips. You just wanted to show what you were capable of.

But fate was not on your side. Honestly, it felt like she never would be.

Even without words, the incubus could tell your answer. The unwavering determined light in your eye screamed it all. However, it seemed like he simply wanted you to still say it. Making sure the heaven AND you acknowledge YOUR decision.

“Yes, I do.” In your own playful tone of voice, you replied, “Then you just need to become my nirvanah, Emral.”

His entertaining smirk widened into a sinister sharp toothed smile. His lime green eyes seemed to glow, as if burning with renewed flames.

Suddenly, you felt a throbbing pain on your chest. No. It was seering.

You felt as if you could let out a choked out scream. You grasped the area of pain only to instantly withdraw your hands, the pain only increasing when pressed against your cotton t-shirt. You felt your body burn in the area. It felt consuming, almost indescribable. As tears of agony freely fell from your eyes, you could barely recognize Emral in front of you. All you could register were his bright glowing eyes and wide smile.

Finally, the pain gradually lessened, now only a throbbing pain. It felt like the pain beat more than your own heart. Still on your knees, as you had been through the whole ceremony, you let your arms limply fall to your side. You couldn’t find the strength to do anything but sit upward. Even your head hung low. But it didn’t stay that way.

You felt the solid tip of his tail, gently tilt your head up. Once you made eye contact with Emral again, he seemed even more delighted, if it was even possible. You were sure your face looked a mess, wet with tears and such. It must have been quite a sight, to make the demon laugh at you.

However, unknownst to you, his expression didn’t come from mockery. It was actually something more genuine.

It was damn near euphoric.

He quite liked your face like that. Tired, pained, barely conscious.

What a lovely sight.

”I think you are going to be my new favorite, contractor.”

He lowered himself to the ground, pulling his tail back behind him. His hands reached out to you, grasping your shoulders as you started to sway with your diminishing strength. Eventually, you collapsed forward to lean against him, your head dropping on his left shoulder.

“It’s okay to rest, contractor. I can take care of everything.” Feeling a gentle kiss on your ear, you finally closed your eyes.

”Night-night, contractor.~”

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Here, I’m done. I posted it. It hasn’t been proofread or anything, just checked over with Grammarly. Mostly because if I keep staring at it, I’m going to hate it and delete it again, and I don’t have a proofreader. So, it is what it is. Just wanted to clarify that.

That being said, I am open to constructive criticism or something. This isn’t my best work, but I’m my own worst critic.

Anyways, have an awesome day!

[brokenjere]

stick season (c.f) (part 2)

AN: the second part is here, hope you guys like it! lmk what you think

Summary: the Conrad you loved was fun, adventurous, and loyal. he had a fierceness that you could not escape. you were certain he was the one. forever. you didn’t expect that Susannah’s death would change him in all the worst ways.

part 1

Summer - 19 years old (Conrad’s POV) 

I knew YN was right. She was always right, but when she walked out of that door, I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I sank down against the wall of my old summer bedroom. I didn’t know what I was going to do next, just that I felt like I needed to cry but I sucked it up and called my brother. 

I kept so much from him, Mom being sick and me leaving school. I shut him out so much the last year, I shut everyone out. I shut her out. I couldn’t keep this from him, either. He answered the phone on the third ring. “Conrad?” 

“Hey, brother.” 

“Are you okay?” His voice was crystal clear as if he had been waiting for my call in a quiet, dark room. 

“Yeah. I’m at the summer house,” I told him. 

“In Cousins?” 

“No, in the Hamptons.” 

Jeremiah chuckled softly and I had to admit, I missed hearing his laugh. None of them laughed very much anymore, it seemed. 

“I missed your sarcasm,” Jeremiah said. “What are you doing there?” 

I looked around at my surroundings. I couldn’t tell him that I had been packing, he’d lose his mind just like YN did. I don’t know why I started packing things up. None of it was important, anyway. Pots and pans. Candlesticks. Old cables and DVDs no one watched anymore. It was all trash. “I don’t know. It just felt so weird knowing we weren’t coming back this year. I just wanted to…” I trailed off. 

“Be around mom?” Jere finished my sentence. 

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be there today.” 

I hadn’t seen Dad since yesterday. He came in and out of the house, picking apart all the things wrong with the house that he needed to tell the realtor. I hated him and I resented that he was the only parent I had left, if you could even call him that. Why couldn’t it have been him? I hated myself, then, for thinking that. 

Jeremiah pulled up after it was dark out. The only light on in the house was the one in the dining room, where I was eating my dinner. When he came in, he looked different. He was pale and tired but he was smiling because he was Jeremiah. “You cook now?” He commented on the chicken I was eating, making me laugh. It was a sound I haven’t heard in a while, especially when she wasn’t around. 

“YN taught me,” I told him. Jere nodded and looked around at the darkness. “She’s not here.” 

“Why not?” 

“We broke up.” 

Jeremiah didn’t say anything. When I looked at him, his mouth had fallen agape and his eyes were twisted in confusion. I think he wanted to say something but he couldn’t figure out what to say. 

“It’s not a big deal,” I said, pushing myself out of the chair and cleaning up my plate. I felt his eyes on me as I moved around the kitchen, clearing off the excess food I didn’t eat and rinsing it off in the sink. “Stop staring at me.”

“Not a big deal?” His voice boomed. I dropped my plate in the sink and it clattered against the ceramic. “You two were, you were…” he tried to collect his words, “you were soul mates.” 

“Were. That’s the word.” 

“Not were. Are. You are soul mates. What the fuck happened?” 

I turned around, leaning my back against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, and looked at my brother. He looked like his entire world was shattered. “I quit school.” His eyes got wider, if that was possible. “Well, I didn’t quit but I stopped going. To come here. She didn’t agree with that.” 

It was a lot more than that. It was deeper than that. I knew that and Jeremiah knew I was blowing smoke up his ass, too, but he only said: “I don’t agree with that either. You’re the smart son. The good one. Don’t disappoint her.” Her. He meant Susannah. YN said that same thing. Maybe I wasn’t the good one, after all. Maybe that was Jeremiah. 

“Dad’s selling the summer house, Jere.” 

“What?” I nodded my head. “He can’t sell this house. It’s Mom’s. Didn’t she leave it to us?” 

“I told him that. Technically, he’s allowed to decide.” Jeremiah finally moved further into the kitchen. He sat down at the table, in the same spot YN had claimed for the last week. It made my chest swell that he was sitting in it. 

“How can he do that? How can he sell this house? How can you break up with YN? How can Mom be dead? I feel like nothing is sacred anymore.” My little brother. Jeremiah. My best friend. Suddenly, he looked like a little kid again. 

“I don’t know,” I said. That’s all I could say. 

I tried to call her 18 times. Left 10 voicemails. Hung up 3 times. We saved the house and I wanted to tell her that. I wanted to scream it at the top of my lungs. The deal was that Dad would save the house if I finished my classes and passed all my tests. I was sitting in the parking lot at school right now, my finger hovering over her name in my phone deciding if I should hit call for the 19th time. I did. 

She hit decline for the 16th time. I sighed and threw my phone in the passenger side seat and looked at the school building. She would be proud of me, right? She’d want me to go in there and pass those tests. I pressed my hands against the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white and then I shut off the car at the same time my phone started to ring. YN. 

I answered on the second ring. “YN. Hey, hi. Hi.” 

“What do you want Conrad?” She sounded exasperated. How could she have so much hatred in her voice? Did the last three years mean nothing to her? 

“Did you listen to my messages?” I asked her. I looked at the time. 10 minutes until I had to be inside. 10 minutes between myself and the summer house. 10 minutes to decide what was more important. The house, my future career, my family. Or YN.

“No, I deleted them all. I only called to tell you to please stop calling me. It’s upsetting. I don’t want to talk.” There was a coldness in her voice that I didn’t recognize. She didn’t even sound like this when we fought. 

“We saved the house. I called Jeremiah and we did it. I’m at school right now,” I told her. My voice was moving quick like if I didn’t spit it all out right now she’d hang up and I’d never hear from her again. “I’m getting ready to take my tests.” 

She sighed. I wanted to swim in it. “That’s good, Con.” Con. At least that stayed the same. 

“I love you, YN. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She didn’t say anything. There was a deafening silence and I tried to fill it. “Forever, YN. Come. Get in your car right now and come and see me. Be here when I get out, please. If you still love me, be here when I get out.” I was starting to beg but I didn’t care. I would get on my knees for her. 

“I don’t know,” she said. 5 minutes. 

“I did what you wanted, right? I called Jeremiah. I’m at school. I can be the old Conrad again, I just need you.” 

“You should have wanted to do that stuff without me, Con. I can’t hold you together.” 

I will fall apart without you, I wanted to tell her. “Please, just tell me you’ll be here so I can go take my tests, get the house back, and come out here to the love of my life. Please. That’s what you are, okay? The one. There is no one else.” 

YN sighed on the other side of the phone again and then mumbled, “okay. Okay I’ll be there.” 

Summer - 19 years old 

You were driving down the highway, the sun making your eyes burn. You weren’t in the mood for music. You weren’t in the mood for anything, all you wanted to was to go back home but you told him you’d be there. He sounded so tiny on the phone like a little kid begging his mom to come home early for work. 

The closer you got to the exit, the more you wanted to turn around. You knew once you saw him, you’d never be able to walk away again. You had to walk away for him to get better, you thought. It was for the best. Your phone started to ring and you answered it without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“It’s me,” he said. Conrad. “I just got out of my first test, are you on your way?” 

“Yeah,” you told him. “The exit is coming up on the right in a minute here.” 

Conrad sighed and you could just imagine him nodding his head in relief. The stoniness in his jaw disappearing as you spoke. “I think I did good.”

“Good. Did you study?” 

“Yeah. Jeremiah helped me. It was really nice being normal with him again, it’s been too long. You were right. You always are,” he chuckled. You smiled a little bit to yourself, feeling a little bit better but you knew that if you had stayed, Jeremiah wouldn’t have helped him study. You would have. And nothing would be different. “I love you.” 

He was hoping you’d say it back. 

“You know I love you,” you said. You saw the exit sign coming up. BOSTON it read in big, bold letters. TURN AROUND it screamed. “Con…” You trailed off. Your hand wouldn’t turn on the blinker. You couldn’t turn the wheel. 

“I gotta go, okay? See you soon.” He hung up before you could say “I’m sorry.”

Fall - 20 years old (Conrad’s POV)

Vermont was cold during stick season. This I knew. It just felt much colder when she wasn’t around to keep me warm. My heart, I mean. She warmed my heart. With every breath, every word, every forever.

The last time I took this drive, she was waiting for me on the porch. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a smile growing on her face as I pulled into the driveway. She greeted me with kisses and the biggest hug I’ve ever gotten. She always gave the best hugs. 

Now, I knew she would not be waiting for me. Instead, she could be hiding in her bedroom. She could be away at the library. She could be jumping out of the second-story window just to avoid seeing my face. I hoped none of those things would be true, but she never showed up in Boston and she doesn’t answer the phone anymore and to her, maybe I have just disappeared. Never to have existed in the first place. How could that be this easy? 

I thought about what I would do if she did answer the phone. Would I be mad? Probably not. I was at first, when I waited by the car for over an hour for her. Checking my phone every few minutes to see if she called or texted. I was mad when I got home that day. I almost picked up a bottle of wine and drank it by the pool but then I saw her face when I smashed the last one and I went to bed instead. I’m not mad now, even though I feel like I had a reason to be. I just wanted her back, I think. 

I would ask her back to the beach house if she called. Everything feels better there. Everything did feel better there before she left. Now, not only does the ghost of my mom live there, the ghost of her does too. 

It was Jeremiah’s idea to come to see her. “Make her see you. You know once she does, she can’t walk away,” he said to me one night. We spent a lot of nights in Cousins after my tests. We figured it was better than being in Boston with our dad. I thought I’d get to share those nights with you, but you were only there in the words we spoke to each other. Just me and my little brother. 

“I don’t think she’d wanna see me,” I tell him. The fight was petulant and small. Not like our love. She was the one great love in my life, whether I got her back or not. If not, I think I’d be alone for the rest of my days. Life was hard being split in two. Like one half of me lived here, in the present, and the other lived in Vermont, under her bed, and between her sheets. 

“You never know unless you try,” Jere said with a smile on his face. That’s what convinced me. He was just so sure of everything, all the time. How could he do that? After Mom died and YN and I broke up, I thought Jere would be different after seeing all the good things lose their light but he wasn’t because the light lived inside of him and I wished he could give some to me. I think my light lived inside of her. 

Her mom answered the door and her eyes softened. “She’s not here, honey,” she said quietly. I would have believed her if she didn’t step outside of the house and shut the front door behind her. 

“I just need to see her,” I practically begged. I didn’t think I would. I thought I’d be okay if she didn’t want to see me but I don’t know why I thought that. “Please, tell her I’m here and then let her decide.” 

“Conrad,” she started but I interrupted her. 

“I know, okay? I can’t imagine what she told you but I know it makes me look bad. I just, I love her. I need her to know that I love her.” Her mom blinked at me and then looked up at the window I knew YN was peering out of right now. I hoped she could see the tears forming in my eyes. I hoped she’d want to come down and rescue me. 

“She didn’t make you sound bad. She was just really,” she stopped and searched for the words. “She was just really broken.” 

“I’m broken, too.” 

“I think you should go. I’ll let her know you stopped by, okay?” All I could do was nod my head and turn away. When I got back in my car, I looked over at her window and it was like seeing a ghost, seeing her in the window. Her fingers curled over the curtain and she peeked between them, watching me. I waved a small wave at her and she hesitated but eventually waved back. That was hope. That was the light. 

It was raining now. I sat outside the hotel room, under the little awning they call a roof and listened to the pitter-patter of the rain hitting it. I hated when it rained now. I always think about dancing with her in it. When the thunder booms in the distance and she jumps into my arms, god I fucking miss that. 

I think I see her face in everything around me. When my phone rang, my heart jumped because maybe it was her. It was Jeremiah. “What?” I asked as I answered it. 

“Whoa, guessing the big reunion didn’t go as planned?” He chuckled. I hate laughter now. That was harsh. I don’t hate laughter. I hate when it's not her that’s laughing. 

“She didn’t want to see me, as I said.” 

“So, you coming home?” He asked quietly. Almost like he didn’t want to ask me because he was either scared I’d be mad, which I was a lot lately, or tell him no. No, I’m not leaving. I’ll sit on this porch until my entire body shrivels up like a raisin in hopes she comes to pluck me from the ground. 

“Not today,” I told him. I fingered the joint I had stashed in my back pocket. I picked it up before the drive here, debating if I even wanted it on me, just in case. YN never used to care when I smoked, before my mom died. Now, everything I do seems to piss her off but how can I stop drinking and smoking when I was trying to drown out the way her nose crinkled when she smiled? “Maybe tomorrow.” 

“Are you okay?” Jeremiah asked. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I told him. Jere was hard to get off the phone, but eventually he hung up and I lit the joint. I only smoked half of it when her car pulled into the parking lot. If I had a brain, I’d have stomped it out on the cement but I let it burn too close to my fingers as I watched her get out of the car. “You’re here,” I breathed just as the flame hit my finger. I winced and dropped the joint on the ground. YN’s eyes followed it down and watched as I squished it like a bug. 

“I figured I should come see you,” she said. 

“How did you know where I was?” She smiled and waved her phone in the air. Oh, yeah. I forgot we shared locations. It was the one tie she didn’t sever. Maybe for this specific moment. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

Raindrops were all over her t-shirt now and I held out my hand for her to get to dry land and she took it gratefully and my hand felt warm. She shook herself off like a wet dog and pushed her hair out of her face with the back of her wrist. “I’m sorry,” she said, taking me by surprise. 

“You’re sorry?” 

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” I told her and I meant it. “I was angry, I don’t know, at you for a while. I think I was just hiding the fact that I’m the one that needed to apologize.” 

Her eyes searched my face and if I could scream through my eyes that I loved her forever, I would. “You were grieving,” she said. As if that was an excuse. I realized now that it wasn’t. 

"It wasn't just that," I tried to tell her but my head started to hurt. All the words that have been building in my chest, all the scenes I've replayed in my mind, were coming up to the surface at once. "There's just so many things I want to say to you."

"You don't have to say them," she said. Because she knew. She had to know. She had to feel it radiating off of my skin. "I shouldn't have left," she added. "I just didn't feel wanted."

That. That made my heart break. "What?" She shrugged, not elaborating further but she shouldn't have to. "I never meant to make you feel that way. I do want you," I told her, then I clarified: "I need you."

She sighed away the anger. It was a gentle breath that washed away the fighting, the anger, the doubt.

“I never should have treated you that way. You were right. I didn’t lose everything, even though it felt like I did. You were there. Jeremiah is there." I was just trying to fill the silence. Tell her all the things that I should have said.

“I’m here,” she said. When I furrowed my brows and tilted my head, she clarified, “you said I was there and I’m saying I am. I never really left.” 

I wanted to grab her and swing her around and kiss the life out of her but instead, I asked, “forever?” 

“Forever,” she said. Then I grabbed her, swung her around, and kissed the life out of her. 

[hazelhearts]

We'll Be Alright

Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

summary: love takes time, especially when the person you love hurts you in the worst way possible

content/warnings: suicidal thoughts, depressive thoughts, miscommunication trope, wandavision, heartbreak

note/request: ahh my first wanda fic! it's been a long time coming. i put so much of myself into this one so I hope you guys love it as much as I do. warning, it hurts bad.

word count: 2.1k words

masterlist

Staying behind on missions had been a pretty normal thing for you over the past couple of weeks. You could listen to the dumb reasons Tony talked about for hours and hours every day, but the simpler thought is that he's an ass.

Usually Wanda would insist on staying back with you, but she didn't say a word this time. You assumed it was because of Vision. Things have gotten pretty tense between them the past couple of days, and sadly it wasn't the bad kind of tense.

Anyone with eyes could see that Wanda was gorgeous. But beyond that she was kind, compassionate, independent, and knew what she wanted. Not many people could say that these days. Especially not the clump of metal that's been trying to win her over.

Loving Wanda was honestly one of the worst things you could have ever done for yourself. She's been an emotional rock since Pietro, barely letting anyone in. You had only recently broken down some of the barriers, able to convince her to hang out with you. Most of the time it was just sitting silently in each others presence, but that was enough for you.

As the thoughts continued to run through your head, your phone suddenly rang. It took a couple of rings to really gain your attention, but the caller ID made you pick up so fast that it didn't really matter.

"Wanda?"

"Hey Y/N, um Tony wanted me to tell you to make sure that you washed the dishes. Something about how you kept skipping your assigned days?" The joy of talking to Wanda was always dulled by the mention of stick up his ass Stark. Sure you'd skipped a couple of days, but Thor loved doing them! He said that they didn't have to do it in Asgard and that it was one of his favorite mortal pastimes.

"Yeah, tell the asshole that they'll be done. But not because he wants me to, because I wanna eat dinner at some point tonight and the man doesn't touch a dirty dish." Wanda's laugh made the annoying remark worth it, the image of her smile making you grin like an idiot.

"Okay well that's all. See you later." She hung up before you could get out another word. Damn, so much for trying to be smooth Y/N.

----------

The team returned about two hours later, minimal injuries across the board. Wanda seemed to be the worse off. If you looked really closely, you could see a slight limp.

"Wanda-"

"C'mon, let's patch you up." If you weren't in front of the entire team, you'd crush that tin man into a cube and ship him to the nearest manufacturing facility.

Wanda and Vision walked into her room, practically staring into each other's souls. You were disgusted by the pda, that's all. Right?

"Stark, what's on the menu tonight?" Steve received a glare that was probably supposed to be intimidating but ended up making him look constipated.

"Whatever I put on the table. Now scram, or no one gets fed." You had never seen so many full-grown adults run out of a room at the same time.

You stopped in front of Wanda's room hoping the asshole of a robot was gone. For once, your wish was granted.

"Wands?" You lightly knocked on the door frame to keep from startling her. She nodded her head at you, as distant as ever.

"Wanna watch a movie? I picked out a few I thought you'd like." You knew there was too much hope in your voice but you couldn't help it. Since the titanium twat waffle showed up, you barely ever had a moment alone with Wanda.

"I'm sorry Y/N. Vision and I were actually going to do something tonight. Maybe some other time?" You forced the smile to stay on your face, refusing to show her any negative emotions.

"Oh yeah, sure. Another time." You walked out without another word, debating on asking Tony to deactivate the thorn in your side before you did it yourself.

----------

You began to feel immune to the passing of days as you and Wands drifted further and further apart. Every second she wasn't on a mission was spent with Vision. Your heart broke more every day, if that was even possible.

The rest of the team had started to notice your absence. Even when you were with them physically, you were somewhere else. They knew that asking Wanda to read your mind was out of the question. You had clarified that the first time the idea was spoken. Since then, they've all worried in silence. Even shithead Stark was starting to worry about you.

The team (minus you, Wanda, and Vision) got together and put it to a vote. Who would be the one to check on you? None of them really wanted to since emotions were not their strong suit, but it had to be done. The vote ended in a tie between Nat and Steve. Steve, being the only one brave enough to actually do it, knocked on your door a few minutes later.

"Y/N? It's Steve. Can I come in?" No response.

"Y/N, give me some sign that you're alive." Nothing, yet again.

"Alright, I'm coming in." Steve opened the door and there you were, staring out the window.

There were dark bags under your eyes, dried tears splattered across your face, and a haze over your eyes that Steve hadn't ever seen before. Your clothes looked like they hadn't been washed in weeks, as they probably hadn't. Your room was surprisingly clean, seeming as if no one had lived in it for quite a long time. It was true, since what you were doing wasn't really living.

"Y/N..." He knelt down next to the chair you were in, looking out the window. He knew you probably didn't want to talk, but you had to. No one had heard a single word come out of your mouth in months. Not even Wanda.

"Y/N/N, talk to me kid. I'm worried, Nat's worried, we're all worried. You haven't said a word in months, you barely eat, and you barely ever leave this room. I need you to talk to me." Your head turned towards Steve, absent look still present behind your eyes.

"Do you ever feel like the universe is plotting against you? Like, every time you find happiness, it comes in and squashes it?" Your voice was completely monotone apart from the scratch that showed just how unused it was.

"Kid, I should have been dead ages ago. I lost the woman I loved, the life I was living, and my best friend in what felt like a month to me. So yeah, I understand." Your head turned back to the window, but your eyes slowly focused more on the area around you.

"I'm just tired, Steve. I'm so damn tired. I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of thinking, and honestly I think I'm even tired of living. Everything hurts." Steve's hand came up to rub your back, giving you the slightest bit of comfort.

"Well, let's wake you up. I know that there's no automatic remedy, but we can try can't we? How about you start with a nice shower, brushing your teeth, and changing out of these nasty clothes?" Your hand found Steve's on the armrest of the chair, giving it a light squeeze.

"Are you saying I stink Rogers?" You both let out a laugh, his much stronger than yours, but still a laugh. The first laugh you'd had in months. It felt good.

"God yes. You smell like a sewer. Now, go." Steve laughed as he left the room, and you got out of the chair.

----------

"Y/N/N! We missed you!" Thor practically ran to you and scooped you up into a hug, cutting off all of your oxygen.

"Can't- breathe. Thor, o-oxygen!"

"Shit! Sorry tiny." He finally let you go, your face slowly gaining back color. You smiled, really smiled.

"I might be tiny but that doesn't mean I can't beat the shit out of you blondie!" Everyone laughed, happy to have a bit of the old Y/N back, no matter how little.

"I made breakfast!" Tony came around in his signature Kiss the Cook apron, a huge plate on pancakes holding on for dear life.

"God, you read my mind." You and the rest of the team rushed to the table, excited as ever to scarf down every bit of food within reach.

One thing you did happen to notice was Wanda. She sat next to you, as far away from Vision as possible. You dismissed it, trying not to get your hopes up as it didn't work out well at all last time.

You practically inhaled the food, finishing three plates in record time. You even beat Thor's personal record, pissing him off more than ever.

You saw Wanda approach you out of the corner of your eye, keeping your head facing down towards the sink. You were sure that these dishes had never been as thoroughly scrubbed as they were right then.

"Y/N? Can we talk?" You risked looking up at her, seeing only sadness behind those beautiful emerald eyes you loved. The sight made you want to throw up.

"Yeah sure, we can go to my room." You put the final dish away, leading Wanda towards your room and shutting the door behind you.

"Okay, what's up?" Before you could even fully turn around, Wanda collapsed into your arms. You grabbed onto her as tightly as you could, holding her as close to you as you could manage.

"I missed you. God, I missed you so much. I read your thoughts, I know you asked me not to, but I had to! You were never around and I was worried! I saw everything, everything about me." You were definitely going to puke.

"Oh god Wanda. You were never supposed to see that." You averted your eyes, unable to look at the woman you loved. You couldn't face her rejection when you were just starting to pick yourself back up.

"Y/N, look at me, please." She put her finger under your chin, raising your head enough to look into her eyes.

"I love you, I should have said it sooner. I just- I thought you could never feel the same way. You were always so fun and amazing, I never thought you'd want me. So, I went to Vision, trying to get over you. But it didn't work! I can't stop thinking about you, and I think you can't stop thinking about me either." The words you always wanted to hear were finally spoken to you, and all you felt was dread.

"Wanda, of course I still think about you. I can't help it. But I'm not in the place for a relationship right now. I just started trying to get myself back together. I just started recovering from the first time you broke me. I can't put myself through that again yet. No matter how much I love you, I need to love me for a while." Wanda slowly nodded her head, averting her eyes this time.

"It's not a no, it's a give me time. I don't wanna make you wait, but I can't do it. I love you Wanda, so much, and knowing you feel the same way about me? I'm over the moon. But I need time, time to gather all these thoughts I'm having and pull myself together." You grabbed Wanda's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"I understand. I'm happy you're taking care of yourself." She smiled at you. You could tell it was forced, but you appreciated the effort.

"Do you think we can be friends, y'know, until you're ready?" You smiled right back at Wanda, yours much more sincere than hers.

"I would want nothing more. But, I do have one request."

"What might that be?" Wanda smirked, making you even more confident in what you were about to do.

"This." You kissed her. You poured every bit of love and care you had for her into the kiss, expressing all the words you couldn't say with the movements of your tongue and lips. Wanda kissed back just as passionately, love nearly drowning you.

You both knew that it would take time. You needed to heal, and Wanda did too. You'd both been through a lot, emotionally and mentally. But, until you got your happy ending, you could have her by your side supporting you in the same way she used to. That would be enough, for now.

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