headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone
like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection -- like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense
but the tiger
the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida
then kyouka and junichiro
and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno
at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members
but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah
anyway:
atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)
the tiger: yeah :)
the tiger: we should eat him
atsushi: NO????
//
kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi
the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him
kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell
atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha
//
atsushi, literally just working:
the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.
atsushi: NO??????????????
ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-
//
and so on
is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes
atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like
atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-
the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice
atsushi:
atsushi: oh
atsushi: oh no
//
akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?
atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like
akutagawa, blushing: oh-
atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u
akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-
//
eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like
atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)
the tiger: yeah :)
the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him
atsushi: no??????????????
//
kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi
atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?
kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????
//
atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-
the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-
atsushi: no.
//
atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u
akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-
akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room
atsushi: do u not like goose :(
akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here
//
yeah
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Shin Soukoku AU idea (plus gender swap):
Atsushi is an isolated princess who was cursed with beast beneath the moonlight as a child. She meets witch Akutagawa where they're teenagers. On 18th birthday she is informed or her up coming marriage to a neighboring kingdoms prince. Atsushi upset runs to Akutagawa, who she is dating, and tells her the news.
Here's the fucked up part the one who cured Atsushi was the neighboring kingdom. Atsushi's parents wanted Atsushi to be able to marry for love. The curse will become permanent and eventually kill her if she doesn't marry him within two months of her birthday. Akutagawa had found out about the curse and has yet to figure out home to break it. So, believe there is nothing she can do, Akutagawa decides to leave Atsushi believing it is better to not have her and her to live than to have her only to lose her. At least this way Atsushi is alive. Atsushi is rightfully upset and they get into an argument where Atsushi states that she no longer thinks Akutagawa truly loves her as she won't fight to have her and storms off. Akutagawa is heartbroken by her loves statement but doesn't go after her. She continues looking for a way to break the curse. Finally on the day of the wedding she finds it. Akutagawa then proceeds to crash the wedding and break the curse. Then as to not waste all the wedding planning and money marries Atsushi then and there.
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college au sskk + skk
Atsushi: Hey Ryu! How's your day
Akutagawa: Not too bad, just finishing up studying for my exam.
Atsushi: wait what exam?
Akutagawa: you didn't study did you.
Atsushi: I FORGOT!
Akutagawa: *hands him a piece of paper* here's a cheat sheet ill run through the content with you
Atsushi: *blushing* thank you Ryu, Ill cook you food after for this!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dazai: Hey Slug whatcha working on?
Chuuya: the exam? that we have in an hour?
Dazai: ohhhh right that's today!
Chuuya: "oh?" that's all you got?
Dazai: *shrugs* i'm sure it'll be fine. what's it on?
Chuuya: its calculus Dazai
Dazai: eh it'll be fine
Chuuya: i cant with you
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