the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
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question: do ppl ACTUALLY say things they don’t mean when they’re angry? or is that just an excuse after letting something true slip? i wouldn’t ever say something i don’t mean in anger, so the concept confuses me.
but something was said to me that is bothering me, though apparently was said in an argument and wasn’t meant. but i don’t rlly believe it wasn’t like, deep down true thoughts/feelings??? anyone have any insight? anyone say things they don’t mean in anger?
EDIT: this was a hastily worded post that i didn’t expect to get notes. this is a genuine question asked in good faith that i got a lot of amazing answers to!
also re: the many ppl saying “OP is lying about not saying things they don’t mean in anger because everyone does it”— i genuinely have never done that. if i say something mean while angry, i meant it. that’s literally why i asked this question and why the concept confuses me, because i wouldn’t do something like that so i wanted perspective from people who do it. idk why y’all can’t believe that lmao not everyone is as prone to anger and outbursts
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Let’s examine the effect NINA actually had on El
This is branch off of this post I made about El’s superhero/monster dichotomy. tl;dr El’s internal conflict boils down to her belief that she is either a monster or a superhero, she can’t accept herself as being neither.
I feel like it’s a misconception that NINA has resolved El of this internal conflict, that she has now independence and realized that she is neither a hero nor a monster, just herself.
But I beg the question— did she really?
It was actually Brenner, the man of the hour, who gave El the speech about there being no such thing as superheroes and monsters.
(I feel like this joke has been made before, but it’s just so easy 😂)
Papa is telling El to confront the demons of her past, that she is more complex than she gives herself credit for.
But El does not take this lesson to heart, instead we have this confrontation between here in Papa in 4x08—
I do think that El realizing that she isn’t a monster and that she is a victim of her environment is a good thing. El has used violence in the past because it is what she was taught and what she was pushed to do. So, this is at least a step in the right direction.
But the problem is, El has not resolved her core issue, which is her dualistic way of thinking.
El doesn’t take the lesson that there are no heroes and monsters, but rather takes the monster label from herself and sticks it onto Papa. And don’t get me wrong, Papa has done terrible and unforgivable things. But the fact that El continues to have this hero and monster mindset means that there is still a conflict that needs to be resolved going forward.
When El went into NINA, she went in with the mindset that it was going to make her a superhero.
So El’s personal goal isn’t really to remedy her way of thinking, but actually to become a superhero and and erase this monster label that she has on herself, influenced partially by these visions of the massacre that she keeps recieving. She believed that she killed all those kids herself. After her talk with Papa it seems like she’s going to confront these demons head on, but what NINA actually ends up telling her is that she didn’t kill all of those kids and that she was the one who actually punished the killer by unlocking a new power and sending him to a different dimension.
Papa tries to tell her that she was the one who released him from his prison, but El combats by saying that Papa’s actions are what pushed One to do so in the first place. Now El is correct in her assessment of Papa’s abuse and the effect it had on both her and One, but again this isn’t El facing her inner conflict and rather deflecting it.
And the one who calls her out on this is another antagonist—
So El went into her fight with Vecna thinking she can win, because she is the superhero and she’s done it before and thinks she can do it again (See: “If you touch her again, I will kill you again”) and when she loses she blames herself, which Byler calls out—
El isn’t able to see her successes, the small sliver of hope she was able to offer in the darkness because she is too caught up in her way of thinking. But another thing is, El doesn’t really have something to fall back on— this is all she knows. She was raised to use violence and be a weapon, and she can either use that to be a monster, or use it to be a hero. If she can’t be the hero or the monster, then who is she?
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it's okay, to be upset if your fave show gets cancelled because of the strike. it's okay to feel frustrated, sad, or outright angry, to have something you love get unfairly taken away from you.
but don't blame the writers.
the writers strike, should it work, will lead to more good shows- possibly continuations of your faves, or more shows of amazing quality that you'll love. the writers are doing that for you, to let there be future writers to tell great stories down the line.
so don't get mad at them
get mad at the studios, the people in charge, the ones who refused to meet the writers reasonable demands. the writers didn't go right into strike- they tried to make a deal first- and the studios said no. if the studios hadn't refused, there wouldn't be a strike right now.
so if you're going to vent your understandable tears and frustrations with the situation at anyone- direct it at the studios.
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