#should carry them on…i need to refine my stuff more

[theeio]

i found some old art of my oc Plague way back in 2018🥲 and i tried doing some redraws, 6 years later!

i tried redrawing the first five here

[taintedges]

*tiny little polished shoes running across igneous rock* inkblade headcanons perchance?

You can’t just say perchance!

However, I am absolutely honored to be asked. All takes place after junior year.

This one, I thought of after the little epilogue they had. With them hinting that Adaine and Aelwyn will hunt their mother down maybe during summer break, they will probably need a little party of their own to do that.

So the rest of the bad kids are busy. Kristen and her four-god pantheon, Riz trying and failing to de-stress, Fig’s podcast with Sandra Lynn ep. 69, Fabian buffing up to welcome his new sibling, Gorgug probably busy in his new bench with Mary Ann. And going back to the forest of Sylvaire is certainly going to be difficult for just two wizards.

Jawbone trying to both be a helpful parent and school counselor, suggests they bring trg or now high five heroes(?), let's face it they need some practical applications outside school.

Adaine absolutely hates this idea and does not think another wizard would be useful (she strongly emphasizes that Oisin should be excluded)

Aelwyn provides her own sassy remarks but surprisingly becomes the mediator when an argument happens, which is often.. usually when Oisin tries to refine parts of the plan and puts forward his many “better” ideas which, of course, he has.

And even when Adaine admits to herself that his plan makes more sense she doesn’t ever give up an argument. At first, Oisin doesn’t reciprocate but his cattiness comes out and the whole thing just escalates.

During travel when the silence is too awkward, Oisin will start talking about a book he really likes, and Adaine just roasts his taste even though she probably thinks the opposite.

They may have saved each other from dying multiple times in combat and will awkwardly say thank you after.

There are times when the forest gets too dark and Adaine remembers the last time she was there and how scary it was to face her fears alone. She often wonders if it was the same when Oisin died before getting forced with a rage star in him.

Sometimes they stay up talking at night when she can’t trance and finds him the only one still awake.

When they start to become familiar with each other’s magic, they become totally in sync during a battle (the rest of the group pretends not to notice how good they work together).

Sometimes Oisin wonders how Adaine would know something about his magic that he didn’t talk about (in my head, when tbk snooped around Ruben’s house and Adaine was in his wizard’s tower, I think she studied everything she found and probably took some of his stuff too, perhaps his quill and Oisin certainly notice it missing and wonders how it got into Adaine’s backpack. He doesn’t take the quill back after seeing that Adaine likes using it.)

Adaine also would threaten Oisin to teach her how he created the spells inside ping pong balls all while making remarks about what he did.

Oisin carries Boggy around when the familiar doesn’t immediately follow Adaine. Adaine just assumes Boggy always follows her and Oisin secretly likes stealing Boggy, who is just happy to be here because he now has two parents.

I think Oisin’s crush on Adaine dissipates and only comes back 10x harder at the end of their quest when he sees how capable she is.

Here’s a fun one. Coming back after their adventure, a party at Seacaster Manor in anticipation for senior year.

Adaine gets drunk on bad baby milk and insists on playing beer pong with Oisin.

Ivy is teasing because Oisin actually cannot make a shot (for real, not on purpose).

The drunker Adaine gets the more careless she becomes and hurls the ping pong ball at Oisin and boy do they hurt.

Bickering starts and tbk and trg are no help until Ragh intervenes and puts them on time-out upstairs. Bad idea.

Probably for the first time, Adaine admits that she thought he was cute and bluntly asks him if it was all a ruse to undermine her party and WHY HE MESSAGED HER SORRY AT THE CAFETERIA he could have just not said anything and left her alone.

Oisin does admit that he did like her then and he still likes her now, but the rest of senior year is just Oisin groveling.

Adaine has many times placed ping pong balls with spells written in them in his locker so that when he opens it, his things just fly out and he has to clean it up (I rewatched the scene and Adaine’s really disappointed expression tells me she will not let this go). trg finds this absolutely hilarious and are the ones who kept telling her his locker combinations.

Oisin continues therapy sessions with Jawbone and they find each other there after school.

One time Adaine accidentally left Boggy in Jawbone’s office so Oisin comes to her after to return him.

And every single time after that, Adaine just leaves Boggy on purpose. Jawbone notices (because Boggy just stares at him with his big round eyes. Boggy knows what to do even when Adaine doesn't tell him) but doesn’t say a thing.

One time, tbk are outside on one of the benches when Oisin comes to return Boggy, Kristen’s like, "What’s going on are you co-parenting?"

There’s no formal conversation, just a mutual understanding that Adaine isn’t angry anymore and trusts Oisin to always bring Boggy back.

Do they talk during these interactions? Not at first. But after it became a routine, now they hang out in the library, in Mordred Manor, and of course at Basrar’s.

Some days, Adaine doesn’t leave Boggy at all and Oisin just knows to find her at the end of the day.

This might have been too long.

I cannot write romance for the life of me but I try. Perchance these would suffice because this is a crisis and we are in drought!

INKBLADE NATION WE MAY HAVE LOST THE BATTLE BUT WE STAY WINNING THE WAR!

[mmoneystones]

"Whoa, do you need some help with that?"

Caspar points openly at the luggage the woman drags along the path toward their housing. Around his arm is a bandana in the same green hue as the one around her forehead. His own baggage jostles against his back from where it hangs off his shoulders, a large and fairly simple rucksack crafted out of sturdy leather.

Her bags look heavier than his, truth be told-- but it's nothing he can't handle...!

"The faster we all get our stuff dropped off, the faster we can all check out the beaches. Sounds like a win for all of us if you ask me!"

A high-pitched voice calls to her while the dormitory for her team is comfortably within view. That being said, her pull on the small set of bags has been anything but comfortable. So when the boy offers to assist Citrinne in such a straightforward manner, she cannot help but smile in relief.

"Oh...no, I couldn't-" she struggles to politely decline only to "accidentally" drop off one of her lighter pieces of luggage: a brown leather case with hairpins and jeweled earrings. She reasons that it is safe enough to trust a stranger - and fair, too. He shouldn't have to suffer from her pack rat nature.

Citrinne sighs at the removal of some of her load, literally lifting a weight off her shoulders. "You should only need to trouble yourself with this temporarily. My room should be...near the end of the east wing. Carry it to the entrance, and I can handle the rest."

The noble couldn't agree more with the youth's desire to scope out the coasts after the unloading is behind them. And now that she has gotten a better look at his person thanks to her lighter load, Citrinne notices the light green cloth wrapped around his arm.

"Of course, we are on the same team, aren't we?" they are in no position to shake hands in greeting, but Citrinne attempts to back up her welcome with a refined, kind tone. "I would see fit to repay you nevertheless, but it is only fitting for teammates to look out for one another. If you ever need anything, allow me, Citrinne of Brodia, to be of assistance."

"What about you? What is the name of the strong soldier that has come to my aid?"

[bluberimufim]

Oh ho ho, now I'm curious, do you have any refs for anyone that might want to draw your OCs? Pictures or specific descriptions or anything of that sort? Just curious...

Thank you for the ask! I'm so glad it interests you!!

Well You See: I'm an artist. I should have references lying around. But if I were to present them, it would be some super sporadic stuff bc I never got around to drawing MOST of my ocs, for some reason...

That being said, I have a few things lying around. I'll post it here and maybe update when I make more.

(Also, I know the digital drawings suck. I have 0 experience with it. I am Trying Very Hard)

This is gonna be Long, so buckle up.

Dystopia WIP:

This WIP was originally concieved at a graphic novel, so I have a few drawings - especially a few rough sketches mapping out outfit shapes and colours. Let's go through the main cast:

Veta, Vi and Veo (aka the Communist Polycule):

Veera:

Alexis Ivanik:

Cristover (left) and Nester Kalenev (right):

I have a post explaining the significance of most of the colour palettes of the 3 WIPs here

Notes on the characters:

Nester, Cristover, and Vi are all guys. They're wearing skirts bc they're Fashionable. Vi has a beard

Vi's outfits are inspired by traditional portuguese costume

idc what you do with Alexis, they NEED to be wearing extremely over-the-top eyeliner at all times

Devourer of Souls:

So here is the Thing. Most characters in this WIP being female is a very recent development. Almost all except for Flick used to be guys. So the only pic of Seth is her as a man. Literally just picture her with longer hair and it's almost accurate.

Seth (very zoomed into a drawing I once made):

(pls don't forget that she's a cane user)

Flick (the people on the sides are Allana and Hunter, the two souls their body houses):

Notes on characters not pictured (Jane and Theo):

Theo and Jane are technically twins, and they have a Snow White/Rose Red motif

Theo has bright red eyes long white hair in a huge braid. She wears all white tends to prefer overalls

Jane has short red hair and white eyes, the inverse of Theo

Black and White

Considering this WIP is my main one and the one I've had the longest, I have shamefully little material on it that I like. And also, I've already reaches the limit on pictures I can post.

I mean, my icon is a drawing of Darius, and there's also the Great Reyna Picrew Show-Down, but otherwise? Almost nothing. When it comes to descriptions, it's kinda vague ig? But let me kinda compile a little bit. Here's the most relevant characters in order of appearance:

Johann:

[...] He was significantly older and dressed much more presentably. His deep black suit had a refined and expensive-looking cut. He carried an old walking stick, which might have been in fashion in the previous century, to complete the look. Besides that, he had a box-shaped camera hanging from his shoulder. His hair was almost completely grey and perfectly combed, which made him look organized and important. When he walked closer, Darius noticed the strange shine in his eyes, his crooked nose, his lively smile. There was no doubt. He looked like all the pictures he'd seen. [...]

August:

He would almost be a perfectly normal person if not for his height. He wasn't a giant, but he had a considerable advantage over most people, although not at the expense of any muscle. His hair was longer than one would normally see in a man, almost shoulder-length. Otherwise, he looked pretty average, dressed in a half-opened shirt and very tight trousers. He couldn't decide if he should categorize him as "weird" or not.

Extra note: he wears a glove on his right hand that he never takes off. I once made a joke about the glove staying on during sex and it's 100% true.

Reyna:

[...] The girl was absolutely enormous. He'd never seen anyone so tall. She was taller than August, who was almost a giant himself. Even without heels, she was taller than anyone he'd ever met. And besides that, she was dressed quite scandalously. Her red dress barely reached the middle of her legs, leaving part of the knees exposed. The skirt was made of various layers of light fabrics, like chiffon and tule, all of them ending in excessive frills. It looked like a flower upside down. The dress had no sleeves, being held in place solely by two thin straps covered in glitter, reflecting the light of the sun. All of her seemed more suited to a burlesque show than a circus.

Diedrich:

His red hair, tied into a ponytail, fell down the side of his neck, like a small flame. He wore a crisp black suit, like any common man would. [...]

I can't believe I never actually described Diedrich. I know he's a POV character but still, wtf??

I mean, I guess there wouldn't be a point in describing him from Darius's or Reyna's POV because Darius spent years collecting pictures of him and Reyna has seen him every day for the past 5 years. But if you want an age range, he's 50 in the main story, just like Johann.

You know what? Hit me up if you want a drawing or better description. I'd be happy to do it for you, if you wanna actually draw him.

(if you're wondering why the descriptions are so weird about fabrics, it's because this is narrated by Darius and he's a tailor - he's really into sewing)

As for Darius himself, he's only ever described as "looking like Alphonse". And what does Alphonse look like, you ask? Johann describes him in relation to Diedrich (a description we don't have), and Diedrich feels no need to describe him because he's literally his son and he's known him since he was born. I need to fix this, holy shit.

Anyway, I hope this gave you better insight into how (some of) my ocs look! And I hope you had fun looking at sketches, zoomed-in pictures and 1 (one) fully fledged illustration of Flick.

Also, feel free to ask if you need more info! I can add it here to paint a more complete picture.

[fanartandfanfiction]

I wrote another chapter featuring my animagus character

Aesop Sharp was finishing up some work in his classroom when Garreth Weasley came running in. 

“Can I help you, Mr. Weasley?” 

Garreth looked anxious. “Maybe. It’s Sophia. I can’t find her.”

“What do you mean you can’t find her?”

“Ok, well, Professor Black confiscated a bunch of stuff from me and Sophia was mad about it so she was going to try to get it back. That was this morning.”

“Am I correct in assuming she was doing this as a cat?”

“Probably. I don’t know. But I don’t know what else to do, and you and Prewett are the only ones who know. Prewett is asking around but we’ve had no luck so far.”

“Once we recover Sophia, we’re all going to be having a long conversation.” Sharp glared. 

Sophia hated the headmaster. She was muggleborn, trash in his eyes, and he had no problems expressing that. Garreth had a box of various ingredients he’d gathered, and Sophia was walking with him back to the Gryffindor common room when Professor Black stopped them. He’d said Garreth got into enough mischief as it was, he didn’t need to lower his reputation by dating her and messing around with potions. He confiscated the box and Sophia was furious. 

“I’m getting those back.” Sophia said quietly. 

“It’s fine, Soph. I can get more, it’s not a big deal.”

“I’ll be back later.” She dashed into a nearby room and came out in her cat form, a fluffy white persian. She ran down the hall towards Professor Black, who was headed back to his office. She waited for the door to swing open and she dove inside. 

“What are you doing here? Go on, shoo.” Black had tried to boot her out, but it was clear she wasn’t going, he sighed. “Too many damn cats in this castle.” He grumbled as he carried the box up the stairs. He set the box on his desk and looked at her. “Well you’re not your average castle cat, are you?” He squatted down and stroked her head. With a small gasp, he grinned. “You’re a persian! Rare and expensive. The perfect pet for someone with such refined taste as myself.” He scooped her up and she let out a yowl of protest. “Oh hush now. I’ll set up a space for you right here in my office so everyone can see you when they come in!”

Sophia was humiliated. He’d tied a green ribbon in a big bow around her neck. At least he’d conjured her a fluffy cat bed, since she was clearly trapped for a while. 

“I think we should go for a walk so that everyone can see my magnificent new pet.” He grinned. Such a pompous asshole. He’d conjured a collar with a little bell (in case the bow wasn’t embarrassing enough) and a leash. She’d tried digging her claws into the ground in protest, but there was no purchase on the hardwood floor. And now she was trotting through the halls on a leash.

“Excuse me, have you seen a cat?” Luckily she had excellent hearing in her cat form and heard Leander’s voice. 

“Are you kidding? This castle is full of cats.” A voice replied.

“No, this is a big fluffy white one with a scrunched up face.”

“Haven’t seen it.”

She let out a loud meow and yanked the leash in Prewett’s direction. Luckily he heard her and looked up. She saw him suppress a laugh and she glared at him. 

“Excuse me, headmaster!”

“What is it, Mr. Prewett?”

“That’s a lovely cat, where did you get her?”

“I bought her from a breeder, very expensive you know. Cats of this quality are rare.”

His face fell. “Oh. You see, I’m looking for a cat just like that, Garreth has one and she ran out.”

“Well I can assure you this isn’t your cat. I recently purchased Clarice.”

“MEOOOOOW!” She let out a loud wail in Prewett’s direction. 

“Is it alright if I pet her?”

“I suppose so.” Black responded. Prewett squatted down and looked into her eyes. She widened them and placed her paw on his hand. 

“Shit.” He said quietly. 

“What was that, Mr. Prewett?”

“Oh, I asked if she could sit. I didn’t know if she was trained.”

“I’m sure she’ll be trained soon enough, she’s very intelligent. Nearly opened the door to my office by herself.”

“I bet she did.” Prewett gave her head a reassuring pat. “Well, thank you for letting me pet her, goodbye headmaster.”

She let out a wail as he walked away and he turned back and raised his eyebrows at her.

“Come along, Clarice. Let’s show you off.”

Prewett took off at a run towards the dungeons as soon as Black was out of sight. He saw Garreth speaking with Professor Sharp and ran into the classroom. “Black has her.”

“Damn, she got caught?” Garreth asked. 

“Well, kind of.”

Aesop was silently cursing Sophia as he searched for Black. He had no idea how he was going to get her away from him. 

He finally saw Black up ahead with Sophia on a leash. 

“Headmaster? A word?” 

Sophia looked up and immediately tried to rush towards him, choking at the end of her leash. “Calm down, Clarice, that’s no way for a lady to behave.” Black chastised her. “What can I do for you, Aesop? I’m just taking my new cat for a walk. She cost me a pretty penny, but she was worth it. Persians are incredibly rare, you know.”

“Oh I know, I have one myself. They have a penchant for getting into trouble.” He glared down at her.

“I’m sure Clarice is different, she comes from one of the most exclusive breeders in London.” Boy, the man could lie out his ass.

“I see. Would you mind if I held her? I’ve such a soft spot for cats.”

“I suppose.” Sophia was stretching her leash as far as possible to reach him. He picked her up and she scrambled up onto his shoulder and dug her claws in.

“Ow.” He said quietly. She readjusted, but still clung to him.

“She must sense that you’re a cat person! She seems quite fond of you.”

Sophia gave a purr in response and nuzzled her head against him, and he glared. “Yes, she’s a sweet little kitty, isn’t she?” Sharp kissed the top of her head, making her wrinkle her nose, until she heard him whisper “When I let you go, attack him and make a run for it.” He patted her head once more. “Well, I suppose I’ll return her to you, otherwise I’d stay here all day petting her.” Professor Sharp set her down and she charged at Professor Black with a screeching yowl. He shrieked as she sunk her claws and teeth into his leg. He attempted to shake her off but she shredded the legs of his trousers and continued biting. 

“Get OFF!” He kicked her with his other foot and sent her sprawling. He’d kicked her so hard she was pretty sure he’d cracked a rib. She wasted no time getting up and making a run for it. 

“Headmaster, are you alright?!” Aesop asked. 

“NO! I was just mauled by that wild creature!” 

“Here, I have a wiggenweld with me. Take it, but I’d still recommend going to the infirmary. Cats can carry rabies, you know.”

Black gulped down the potion and wiped his mouth. “Find the cat. I don’t care what you do with it, just don’t let it back in this school.”

“Yes sir. I’ll see if I can locate her.”

When he made it back to his classroom, Sophia was there clutching her side and groaning. Garreth and Leander were supporting her weight. 

“Up on the table. Let me see.” They helped her up onto a nearby table and she lifted her shirt. Prewett turned tomato red and looked away. 

“He easily fractured some ribs. And I imagine transforming with an injury worsened it. Hang on.” He walked over to his shelf of potions he kept stocked. He was fuming. There was no reason for Black to have kicked her that hard. He heard the crack. He brought back several vials and set them on the table. “Can you sit up?”

“I don’t know.” She said through tears.

“You’re going to have to try, I don’t want to risk you choking on a potion.”

“It’s alright, Sophia, we’ll help you. Come on prewett, hold onto her other side.” She let out a wail of pain as they sat her up.  “You’ll be ok. You’re going to be ok.” Garreth was whispering quietly to her and stroking her hair. Prewett looked unsure of what to do so he grabbed her hand. 

“Just give my hand a squeeze when it hurts, alright? OW! OW!”

“Alright, I’ve got you a wiggenweld, a pain draught, and a skele-gro. Take the wiggenweld and pain draught first.”

She downed them and looked slightly less miserable. “This one is going to be absolutely disgusting, but you need it to heal your ribs.” He handed her the skele-gro and she uncorked it and made a face. “I know. But you need to drink it.” She downed it as quickly as she could and tried to repress a gag. Garreth was stroking her back and Prewett was still holding onto her hand. 

“You’ll need to be still for a bit while the potion works. Mr. Weasley, Mr. Prewett, you’re more than welcome to stay, but it’ll be a few hours.”

“You can go, Prewett. I’ll stay with her.” Garreth said.

“Alright. I’m glad you’re ok, Sophia.” He gave her hand one last squeeze and left. 

“Hey Garreth?”

“Yes, love?”

“It’s chilly down here, can you go get my favorite sweater?”

“You mean MY sweater?” He grinned. “Of course. Be right back.”

As soon as he was out of the room, tears started streaming down her face. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not sure what you’re apologizing to me for.”

“You had to come rescue me because I did something stupid.”

“I’m your professor. It’s my job to keep you safe.”

She chuckled. “I think chasing down your animagus student who’s trapped with a pretentious snob is a bit out of your job description. You didn’t have to help me, but you did. I appreciate it.” She reached up and felt the collar. “Can you help me get this off? And the stupid bow?”

Sharp smirked as he helped her remove the collar. “At least I didn’t put a bow on you.” 

“You totally would have.” She smirked in response. “Only the best for your little girl.” She teased.

“Oh, shut it. That was equally embarrassing for both of us.”

“To be fair, you were really nice to me as a cat.”

“Thank you for not tearing me to shreds like you did Black.” He smiled. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you, but I also was NOT about to sleep in your bed. It’s a good thing Garreth arrived when he did.”

“Oh my god, I forgot about that. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. You didn’t know it was me.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “By the way, attacking Black was the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done.”

“You probably shouldn’t tell me that. He’s your headmaster and my employer.”

“Come on, it’s after hours, there’s no one else here. He was shrieking like a little girl. You have to admit it was funny.”

Sharp relented and let out a snort of laughter. “It was hysterical, watching him jump around on one foot and screaming, after he’d just bragged about how well behaved you were.”

Sophia stifled a yawn. “I’m exhausted.”

“It’s the pain draught. You may rest if you like.” 

He watched her sort of curl on her side and she scrunched up her nose as it itched her. He could absolutely see why her animagus was a persian cat. 

“‘Alright, Sharp said you have to stay with us while you finish recovering.” Garreth packed her back in her cat form while she dozed. He opened his dorm room and Prewett looked up.

 “We have a cat again?”

“For now. Just until she finishes recovering.” He set her down on his bed and stretched. 

“I know it’s Sophia, but she’s such a cute cat.” Prewett smiled. 

“Yeah, it’s probably the only time she’s not bickering with you.” Garreth crawled into his bed and pulled Sophia over to him.

“Is it weird that your girlfriend is a cat?”

“Only a little. I mean, most of the time, she’s not a cat.” He yawned and stretched again. “Thanks for helping me find her.”

“No problem. Do you think she’ll let me pet her while she’s a cat? Is that weird? Like, I know she’s Sophia but she’s so cute.”

“This is the only circumstance in which I will say, yes Prewett, you may pet my girlfriend.”

Find the rest of the story here:

[the-firebird69]

This is our son's upper body and about 6 ft 8 and I did say it to him and he has Blockbusters legs this guy's legs are not as big they really need to be to carry all that and he is another one of the busters crew and Blockbuster is crew and that is a Mac proper version. At this size and keep in mind only 6'7 not 7'8 if he was that tall Blockbuster would be a little smaller yes not a time probably two inches in diameter on everything and because he's a giant. And you wouldn't lose it you just have to eat up or something or juice up and he be kicking everyone's ass actually very lethal weapon and twice as much weight for real so small Bradley fighting machine you could lift up and if he was juiced up and using superpowers he could lift the tank up. And he's done stuff like that and knows how to do it. My son would be massively lethal but at 6'7 he's going to look like this without the John Cena legs look. And it is impressive even to Blockbuster who hasn't seen it and he didn't see Dave do it Dave was usually looking like Colossus and he could look like Blockbuster but it wasn't his natural physique it was more like Colossus it was very big and powerful but he's taller and thinner than our son for some reason but he used it for speed and it was smart but my son can have speed and he's going to have more and about 12 ft he could run three or four or even 500 miles an hour and jump 20 miles and Blockbuster can run about 300 and jump about 3 MI but when you land he's going to die so he doesn't do it but he jumps and it's very weird it looks like a bug this is so fast it'll be a hell of a fight and we don't want to fight with my son our son that is Freya and I are his godparents we're on Uncle of his aunt yes I am really the son of thrym he went to the wayside. I'm very large and I arrival our son. And not many do and you should see why he's trying to do it and he doesn't overdo it and trains his kids and they are gigantic and we are Teutonic nights. But we're proud of our son we're waiting for him to get bigger so is he put the picture on and they said it looks the same they examined it carefully with equipment and stuff and it's different and it shows that he's changing a little which means the medicine is wearing off finally slowly very slowly it's around for another 3 months that's fine he says slowly but he wants to be a little stronger so he heals he's in pain a lot and has some ailments doesn't want to be massive like this but he will be. If he starts growing 3 months from now it'll take him about a year and a half to get this big 6 foot 7 is very huge roughly depends how much nuclear waste you guys throw around

Thor Freya

It's not fair but it's human and is a good size guy right now and he's not big enough to take me at all but he's pretty big and could probably survive it I see what he's saying though people are going to come in like me and they have to have him a little bigger and we plan to do it too. His grandpa is big thank you and Thor must be huge and said he could be gigantic and thank you is there and is messing with the computer damn it. We have a whole bunch of fights to do but I like to get in shape but I tell you what it's so damn hard now I find out it's my own physiology and it's the stupid stuff in the water he's done bugs and it seems like they attack us so we do all sorts of stuff to them afterwards and she's a lunatic this guy is a nut. We're going to knock his head off again you going to see who this Hawthorne guy is it might be Tommy f and he's a crazy man he's not stupid he's somewhat educated and it seems like he's refined it seems odd to us too but wow and it's correlation to Jupiter and he may have noticed these things it's extremely important he's like a soldier we get that too it's not a private it's more like a sergeant and he acts like one and sometimes lieutenant sometimes colonel but that makes sense cuz he looks and says that's the strategic item. It's a little bit unnerving and he's dangerous he can get huge like me and I do it because I don't but I have a Mac physiology it's not a mutated one but our friend here is a giant and he says he might be a lot bigger than people think I calculate 24 ft tall and that's as big as the polar bear and he is nicknamed Ninuk. So he says I can make a breakfast restaurant name the nook and we need those greasy foods is none and it's terrible Joe wants to make the big pancake House that sounds interesting it says it's not low hard to figure out people want to get by somehow and I like it so we're going to go to work but we're going to be terrifying to these people pretty soon and he says I don't think so I think they're going to get rid of themselves short snake is going to have to do it all in his lunch format it's true too the guy works like crazy he's out of control isn't that right Julius and our friend says yeah that's true they're going to knock each other out and it's ugly and annoying you just never get their s*** together

Blockbuster

Olympus permission to print granted

[brownald]

I’m trying to do more writing this year and just finished a thing I did for a friend and his art/writing trade so I thought I’d post it here. Consider this 1/12 of my writing posts this year. (I’ll do more I’ll only number a few of them.) So without further ado, please enjoy my friend’s OCs being gay and shit:

The silver sedan slowly rolled up to the small wooden shack, a small cloud of dust gathering at its wheels. The two passengers slowly emerged from the car, continuing their conversation from the drive.

Matthias shrugged. “Look, all I’m saying is that if you’re gonna be an international arms dealer you should at least know how to use the damn things-”

“I know how to use a gun, Matt.” Asher scowled.

Matt scoffed. “Do you really?”

“Yes.”

The two stared each other down, each penetrating the other’s gaze.

Matt scoffed, grabbing a joint and lighter from his coat pocket. “Bullshit.” He muttered, igniting the blunt and replacing the lighter in his jacket.

“We can believe our own things, I suppose.” Ash groaned, opening the car’s trunk to reveal a pile of locked gun cases and safes. “Is this everything we will need?”

Matt nodded. “Two handguns, a shotty, AR, SMG, and ammo for all three.” He grabbed the light stuff, leaving Asher to carry the heavy weapons inside.

“You think this is a good place to start me?

“Sure I do,” Matt smiled. “Be a good little Ruski and I just might let you touch my personal stash.”

“Personal stash?” Ash groaned as he followed Matt into the cabin. His questions were quickly answered as every available wall inside was covered with firearms and their accompanying accessories.

“Yeah, well I can’t exactly pay rent anymore, what with us sharing a bed so I needed to spend all my hard-earned cash on something, didn’t I?”

“That is true,” Ash sighed, setting down his cargo and taking a look around. “But where did you get RPG from?

Matt quickly stepped between Asher and the explosive device mounted on the wall. “Oh yeah, that old thing. You remember those Maltese guys that tried to kill us a while back?”

Ash cautiously nodded.

“Yeah I swiped it from their hideout after we killed them and you weren’t looking. I ain’t shot it yet since the ammo is hella expensive.”

Asher scoffed. “If you want I can have shipment of rockets ‘go missing’.”

“No thanks, I prefer to earn my ammo.” Matt quipped, walking over to a rickety old fridge across the room. “You want something to drink?”

“You have whiskey?”

“I gotcha, one cup of the shittiest whiskey you can get in the New York wilderness.” Matt poured Asher a glass and handed it over. Taking small, refined sips, Asher lost himself in the drink’s cool, nutty flavor for a time before the obnoxious slurping of Matt’s beverage snapped him back to reality.

“Matthias?”

Matt stopped what he was doing. “Yeah?”

“Why do you have a juicebox?”

Matt chortled. “Started off as a small, cheap, effective target but I got addicted to them.”

Ash shrugged. “Fair enough. So when do we start shooting?”

“Right now, if you’ll have me.”

__________

A few brief moments later, the two found themselves at one end of a large field. On the other side rested a silhouette of man, painted black against a white background. The autumn colors of the trees casted an orange glow on the field, painting the men in an orange light. Asher reached for the case containing the assault rifle.

“Oh no you don’t.”

Matt slapped his hand away from the box, scolding his employer as he did so.

“What the hell, Matt?”

“No way I’m letting you shoot an AR yet.”

Asher reached again for the rifle, rolling his eyes. “I’ve done it before.”

“Yeah, and you nearly killed the person we were selling the thing to.” Matt groaned. “We’re starting off with something a little more simple.”

“And what would that be?” Ash said.

Matt wordlessly grabbed a smaller weapon case, running his hand over the label to draw attention to the words hastily drawn on in sharpie: Glock 19

“Fuck you, Matt.”

“What?”

“When will I have need for a fucking glock?”

“If you’re using anything more than a sidearm to kill someone, it’s not self defense anymore, that’s an assasination.”

“What the hell are you talking about, you’re a hitman.”

“Bodyguard, actually. Your bodyguard.” Matt smiled. “Plus I think I know more about assassinations than you do, pal, because I’ve actually done it.”

“Just give me the damn gun so I can shoot myself with it.”

Matt chuckled. “That’s the man I love.” He handed the case to Asher, unlocking it and throwing the lock aside. “It’s unloaded.”

Asher tentatively opened the box, withdrawing the magazine and weapon from inside. He held the two in opposite hands, looking at them with awe.

“You, uh…” Matt paused. “You gotta put the thing in the-”

“I have seen you use these things long enough to know how to load it.” Asher loaded the gun and cocked it in one fell stroke, pausing just long enough to let the sound of the weapon’s mechanics echo in his mind. He then turned towards the silhouetted target in the distance, raising the gun in one hand before stopping. “How do I shoot it?”

“Oh for fuck’s-”

“I know to pull the goddamn trigger but what is pose? The, uh” Asher paused as he searched for the right words to use “Knee and foot shit. That.”

“Oh yeah, the stance. Lemme help you with that.” Matt rushed over, grabbing Asher’s hand. “First things first, both hands.”

“Okay.”

“Then,” Matt let go of Ash’s hand and stepped back. “One foot in front of the other. Prolly your dominant one.”

Asher cocked his head. “But… all of me is dominant. You know this?”

“Your right foot, dumbass.”

“Oh.” Asher did as he was told.

“Finally, you’ll wanna lean forward just a scosche. Here lemme help you.”

Matt pressed his hand into Asher’s back, forcing a slight forward movement in the Russian. His back leaned into the correct position.

“Yeah, that’s good. Really damn good thing you got going on there.”

Asher became aware of a sudden squeezing on his ass.

“Matt!”

Matt recoiled. “Sorry, sorry. You’re all good, uh, take the shot.”

BANG

The sound of the shot echoed across the clearing. The gun’s kick nearly rammed into Asher’s teeth, sending him stumbling back.

“Трахать!”

“Asher?” Matt paused for a moment before he raced forward, “Asher?! Are you alright?”

“Да, yes. I am fine.” Asher looked at the target. “Oh goddammit.”

“What?” Matt chirped.

Asher groaned. “He’s still alive. I hit him in lung.”

“Oh,” Matt took a peek at the target. A hole was indeed punctured through the spot where the right lung would be. “Well, don’t get discouraged. You shoot a guy in the lung, he's still gonna die.”

“You are certain?”

“I mean if you wanna make sure you can test on me right now.” Matt spread his arms wide, baring his chest.

“Fair enough.” Asher muttered. “I shoot again?”

“Actually…” Matt smirked. “You know how to reload that thing?”

“Of course I do.”

“Show me.”

The two stared at each other in silence for a moment, a soft wind blowing through the trees.

Asher handed Matt the gun. “Fuck you.”

“Don’t make a guy a promise…” Matt swiftly reloaded the weapon, casting the half-used magazine on the ground. “...if you know you can’t keep it.” He fired three rounds into the target, hitting the head each time.

BANG BANG BANG

“Well that is bullshit!” Asher shouted.

Matt cocked his head. “Oh yeah?”

“Your hands are like magic. I do not get it?”

“First off, I didn’t hear you complaining about my magic fingers last night.” Matthias set the gun on the table. “Second off, you don’t need magic hands to defend yourself. We’re here to make sure you can keep safe if needed.”

Asher bowed his head, sulking.

“You wanna try something else?”

Ash nodded.

Matt grabbed a larger gun case. “Gotcha. Now this thing’s got a bit more of a rhythm to it but you’ll get a kick out of it.” He opened the case. “MP5 submachine gun, motherfucker. A weapon so holy The Vatican uses it to defend the Pope.”

Asher squinted. “Why would they…”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. You’re Russian Orthodox so you hate the Pope.”

“I don’t hate him, I just-“

“Yeah yeah, save it for confession.” Matt laughed, handing him the weapon. “Now show me what you got.”

__________

The two rested together on the crest of a nearby hill, a sniper rifle perched on a rock.

Matt tossed a beer can into a garbage bag. “Alright, ten bucks says you can’t hit the juicebox from half a mile away.”

“You’re on.” Ash smiled. “We’re not practicing self defense anymore, are we?”

“Yeah we stopped doing that the moment I pulled out an AK-47,” Matt planted a kiss on Asher’s cheek. “Now shoot the thing, sexy.”

Asher obliged, the shot echoing throughout the valley. The recoil kicked into his shoulder, nearly knocking him to his back. Matt pulled out a pair of binoculars, squinting to see if the shot had connected.

The juicebox stood undamaged. “Hope you brought your wallet, buddy.”

“I am not paying that.”

“Fine then, be that way. Gimme the gun.”

“What do you get if you hit it?”

“A rough pounding from my hot boss.” Matt stuck out his tongue and pulled the lever of the rifle back to load another round. “Maybe two.”

“You’re a fucking whore, Matthias.”

“And you love me for it.”

Asher nodded as Matt stood up to take the shot. After a slow exhale, he fired another shot, handling it beautifully. The pop of the juicebox could be heard from their perch.

The two stood in silence for a moment, the tension building at an exponential rate. Eventually, Matt slung the rifle over his shoulder.

“Time to pay up, bitch.”

Asher followed Matt towards the cabin, landing a harsh slap on Matt’s ass along the way.

__________

The two held each other on Matt’s couch, slowly kissing in the dim light of a candle.

“How was that?” Ash softly cooed.

Matt chuckled, stroking Ash’s face. “You keep getting better, man. You sure I’m your first guy?”

Asher supplanted a heavy kiss unto Matt. “First, and only.”

“I love you, man.” Matt pulled himself closer into Asher’s bare chest. “You know, I’ve been with a lot of guys before and I’ve never taken any of them shooting before.”

“So we are each other’s first. I like that.”

“Me too, man.”

The two eventually drifted off together, their dreams filled with thoughts of the other.

# # #

[techforevil-er]

04/12-11/12/2022

Firebreak, Christmas activities and dinners (pt 1), how to work when I'm temporary (but not really).

The programme had the firebreak this week, and despite one of my teams carrying on as normal I had some time to contribute. \o/ I chose to join a group thinking how our product, which recently had its 10th birthday, would be different if it was set up now. I ran a short visioning session where everyone in the group sketched Crazy 8s and a more refined idea and merged them in small groups until it combined all the ideas. I also extracted some principles that were common to all the visions and made a quick service map w/ unanswered questions, building on a session ran by the PM who pitched the idea in the first place. Overall, it was fun but not as different as messing around with a prototype kit that one time. :)

----

Team 1 wasn't working together during the firebreak but I had a random reflection on how they're doing icebreakers every day during standup mostly willingly. All it took is a point system and a vague promise of a reward at the end of the quarter. ;)

Big thanks to that Slack I don't go to anymore for recommending The Daily Stand-up Challenge cards. Some of them don't work so well for walking the board and remote so I make new ones as we go.

I need to think what I can improve when joining a team from how things have been going with Team 2. tl;dr - when I started about a month and a half ago it was meant to be a temporary situation while someone was on sick leave and/or another contractor was being recruited. Additionally, for the first two weeks I was waiting for a PM, who then left after the next two weeks. Overall I think I'm the 4th DM the Team's had in the last 6 months. So personally, I've felt a tension between not wanting to mess with the team, seeing stuff that can/needs to be iterated, and being reluctant to take up the team's time with additional process improvement activities (when another DM may want to do things differently...). I think it's generally not helped by the retros only happening monthly but the main lesson for myself when in this situation is... don't wait, and assume you'll be around indefinitely. And just do the PM things if there isn't one around. -\(-__-)/-

---

Some work social things happened! Darts, which I inexplicably suck at despite an early lead in some games, and Postal Museum trip including the Mail Rail train ride - which was super fun and you should go on! The postcodes part of the exhibit only lasts until end of December if that's your thing, but I'm sure they'll replace it with something equally fun and geeky. I also bought the most DMy magnet from the museum shop.

----

In pottery, I picked up my bowls with cat figurine, dog, and a snake planter that looks like a big poo. 🤨 Goddamn you terracotta, I wish I painted ya!

I learned a new technique, called nerikomi which is working with differently coloured clay instead (or in addition) to using glaze. I made a little bowl with an abstract pattern (which Bella the Cat can use as a water bowl), and a bigger bowl with orange pattern which I am super excited to see! I also made a big platter and a small side plate with different types of 'normal' clay - where terracotta tried to fuck me over by running and being a mare to tidy. Here's hoping it calms down in the glazing and doesn't just look dirty....

----

I went to Yauatcha with a friend. It was decent (any place that even serves prawn + beancurd cheung fun is ok in my book) but the desserts were definitely the high point.

I've been watching The Traitors - as a game it's... mediocre. But the casting is amazing. What I really want to do now is play Blood on the Clocktower, let's hope we can at the next xgov games! >:3c

The soundtrack is so camp, I lost my shit when this started playing in ep1.

Oh, and I got the exact Epik High ticket I wanted. \o/

NEXT WEEK

Taking notes at User Research sessions. Hearing insights from a popup research day. Visiting THREE departments (apart from the one I work at). At least two Christmas dinners. Eating all my advent calendar cheeses?! And the Witcher 3 remaster comes out!! \o/

[fairyofshampgyu]

Corrupt File !

genre: smut, college au

pairing: programmer! beomgyu x gn reader (afab when it comes to smut)

warnings: nsfw, sub virgin nerd! beomgyu, dom! reader, corruption kink, mentions of p0rn, handjob, riding

word count: 1.8k

Choi Beomgyu. Goodie two shoes in your comp sci class who was the teacher’s pet and notorious for being an ‘excellent’ and ‘strong’ programmer who can program amazingly well in any language and has great debugging skills. Apparently he learnt how to program at the early age of 7 and made his own pac man after a week. 

He’s also a little pretentious bitch. He thinks he’s better than everyone else in the class and doesn’t bother speaking to anyone, giving others judgemental stares. You’ve seen him a couple times on campus with four other dudes though but none of them were in any of your classes. He comes to every single class early with his cute little outfits, sweater vests and cardigans whilst everyone else is in their hoodies and deranged with little sleep, sits at the front and doesn’t talk to anyone but the teacher. 

You? Well, you’re mediocre at programming. You’re not too bad but you prefer other aspects of computer science and your programming skills have always made you slightly insecure because you weren't the best of the best and you didn’t learn it at some ridiculously young age and program 24/7 all types of games and websites and other stuff. You had to work so hard to actually get to a good level of programming whilst it came so easy to people like Choi Beomgyu. He seems so perfect. It made you want to imperfect him. 

You were late to class today, getting a bit delayed by some cats on the way there. They were really cute cats what can you say! And you loved cats. But being late to class today meant that all seats were occupied except for the front row and the spare seat, unsurprisingly was next to Choi Beomgyu. He doesn’t pay you any attention though, waiting for his computer screen to load and then the teacher begins.

“Alright, today I thought our class was in great need of some partner work and we’ll be doing programming today. With whoever is sitting next to you, I’d like you to develop a program with them. It can be on everything and anything and you have the weekend to create it, using Python.”

Wow. It was just your luck. 

The boy besides you sighs, pushes his cute, round, kinda too big for his face, glasses up and turns his body to face you. 

To be honest, you wouldn’t have minded working with him. Despite being slightly jealous, you did admire his skill but with how hostile he was being and how clearly he resented the idea of working with you, you didn’t think this was going to go too well.

“...We could make like a simple video game or something...” You speak up first.

 “On python? And too basic.” He rolls his eyes and shuts your suggestion off.

You’re slightly agitated with him now and you show it with your tone. “Well what do you think we should do then, huh?”

“I think we should make a music suggestion tool. We could make an algorithm run that recommends music based on what we think the user will like.”

He doesn’t wait for you to agree, opening up python and already starting to write some code.

For the rest of the class, you don’t contribute much, just trying to give him some suggestions to add maybe a function over there or a loop over here, maybe trying to find a reason as to why a syntax or logic error came up. You’re already halfway done and sure it would need more refining but now you know it won’t take up your whole weekend which is good. You watch him carefully as he stays very focused, fluffy dark hair falling into his face and eyes and his circular glasses that had drooped back down to his nose. You look down to his hands. He was very fast at typing and his hands were oddly very pretty.

Upon inspecting his features, you come to the conclusion that he was in fact actually pretty attractive. How had you never noticed before?

“We can carry on working on it at my place right now if you want?” Beomgyu asks, packing up his pink laptop, pink pencil case and pink notebook back into his crossbody bag after the class had finished. You stare at your own laptop that just has a black hard case cover, your pencil case that looks like it’s been through three wars, and your notebook that was really just a bunch of lined paper. Wow, he even had a theme going on. 

“Oh I've actually got another class after this that won’t be done until about two hours but I can come after that. Just send me your address.” So you exchange phone numbers and go off your separate ways. 

Apparently you were the only one who wasn’t informed that your class was actually cancelled today, your professor going on strike or something like that. Sighing, you check your phone to see that beomgyu had sent you his address and it’s not that far from the campus. You could go there early then.

knock, knock, knock. He was taking weirdly long to open his door and you could hear some rustling and bustling until he finally did open his door.

“Oh. You’re here early.”

“Yeah turns out my class was actually cancelled.”

His room was exactly how you expected it to look; clean and cute and quite perfectly him. The room had a pastel coloured running theme but mostly just pink and white. Fairy lights, strung across the headboard of his bed, a pastel pink record player in the right corner with an assortment of vinyls underneath, ones you recognised and liked and some you didn't recognise, an acoustic guitar to the left on a stand near his shelf and there was a worn out teddy bear occupying his bed. 

He sits on his bed and you follow...and then you both just sit there doing absolutely nothing for a few seconds in awkward silence.

“Uhhh aren’t you gonna get your laptop? We wrote it on your laptop?” You laugh, awkwardly.

“Uh yeah. Right.” So he gets his laptop, very slowly opening it and he’s just about to open the .py file when his mouse board falters over the safari accidentally and the hidden window was freed with a very suggestive video on it paused and an even more suggestive website. Your eyes go wide and so does his.

“I-it’s not- it’s not what it looks like! I-it’s just when you’re watching on a dodgy website and those pop ups come up! yeah...yeah!” He’s furiously clicking the red button on the top left hand corner to close the window immediately. But you can’t help the grin slowly appearing on your face.

You move slowly closer towards him and he moves back, stopping when his head touches the pretty fairy light headboard. “Oh really? Because it seems like you were jerking off before I was here.” Your face is only a few inches away from his now and he gulps, looking up at you. When he doesn’t even say anything to defend himself, you chuckle at him. “What happened to the little goodie two shoes? I didn’t know you were such a fucking whore.”

“I’m not-i’m not a whore!”  

“Are you sure?” You move to his clothed dick which was painfully hard now, lightly palming it and his whole body jerks, moaning and eyelids fluttering. 

“More, more...” 

You scoff. “Have you ever had a handjob before?” He shakes his head. “Do you want one?” Slack-jawed, he nods his head profusely.

You free his dick and take it into your hands, starting to stroke him and his hands fly to shyly cover his face, attempting to conceal his moans but not to much success.

“Don’t cover your pretty face.” You tut at him, “I wanna see it.” You bring your own hands to remove them away from his face. Not gonna lie, it’s turning you on immensely seeing beomgyu like this. Little put together, pretentious, perfect beomgyu is like this right now, begging you to touch him, clueless and embarrassed. You want to absolutely ruin him. 

 “Aw I bet you didn’t get to cum before did you?” 

“yeah...”

“Don't worry, baby I'll let you cum.”

You use your thumb to go back and forth on his sensitive tip while your other hand grabs the base of his dick and his mouth hangs wide open in endless moans and gasps. You pump his dick fast up and down, ruthlessly jerking him off and his breath hitches.

“Close!” He lets out the loudest moan so far and you abruptly stop. He utters a frustrated whine, hips bucking up and pouting at you, “I thought you said you’d let me cum.”

You can’t help but giggle at him. He’s so cute. “I will. In my pussy.” That seems to shut him up.

You get on top of him, straddling his waist and gently pinning both of his hands to the headboard. He looks at you slightly nervous.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“But I want to.”

“You sure?” He nods his head.

“Okay.” You inhale a breath before positioning his tip to your entrance and you look to his face again for confirmation and when there’s no sign of uncertainty , you slowly sink down.

“Oh, fuck! Feels so gooood” His face contorts in pleasure and he turns his head to the side, burying it into the pillow whilst his mouth stays parted. You lift up and drop back down hard, making him cry out a loud moan and you begin to ride him slow.

He was already so blissed out by you riding him slow you wonder how he’d be if you quicken your pace so you do, riding him mercilessly now, basically bouncing on his cock and he moans uncontrollably, incoherent words coming out of him with a fucked out face in a daze. Only his moans getting higher in pitch by the second and the noise of skin slapping filling the room.

“C-cumming, cumming!” And with a loud whine and his eyes slightly rolling back, his dick jerks and spills all inside of you with his body trembling.

His face right after being fucked is gorgeous. He’s breathless and panting by his first proper orgasm with his cheeks and chest flushed, face glistening because of the sweat and his fluffy hair completely wrecked now, glasses a bit crooked and head in the clouds.

Yeah, maybe you won’t end up getting the program done in time after all.

COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE REALLY APPRECIATED GUYS 😭<333

[kindredcandy]

Writing tips for fanfic writers: a post by someone who had to figure it out themselves and now writes professionally :)

Disclaimer: fanfiction writing is probably one of the most unpoliced forms of self expression and that's what makes it so incredible. It's not my intention to say "hey you're doing it wrong! this is how it should be!" This is merely me sharing writing advice for those interested in improving their writing craft. Imo, a technically "improperly written" fanfic that someone decided to share, is worth far more to me than the finest writing that wasn't shared. My point being, that if you're posting your writing, you're already incredible. I still enjoy fanfics that don't follow these rules, but they are benchmarks that will help improve your writing and refine it. Note that some of these tips are specific to practically writing fanfic and not necessarily for writing with the goal of being published, though a lot of tips will apply for that too.

Become aware of your writing. Read it out loud or put it through a text to speech if you're that dedicated to improving, but the main point is to be able to pick up on your habits and notice when you repeat certain traits or sentence structures multiple times in a row.

Avoid repetition. Repeating words, multiple sentences of a similar length or cadence, too many sentences with the same grammatical marks (; : ,? ! —) you get the gist. These marks are incredible for adding new rhythm and excitement to a story but just be careful to not repeat them too much. This goes for everything. Don't start every sentence the same way (for example: "walking to the door I sighed and coughed. opening the door I saw that it was night") as long as you keep your sentences fresh and don't repeat shit, your writing is good.

Fanfiction Prose.

I'm gonna sum up everything you need to know about prose in a quick bullet point 101. So first, everyone says avoid adverbs and all that; spectacular advice for writing published works that will go through critiquing, however fanfic is often write-and-post-as-fast-as-you-can and coming up with sentences that don't contain adverbs will slow you down a lot. Honestly don't worry about it too much. As long as you're not using an adverb in every single sentence, you're fine. It does refine your work to work around them and will often train you to word things better, but if it's messing up your flow to avoid adverbs then just use them. You can always come back to that later and edit them out if you really want to polish your work.

-ing words are a little bit of a bitch. Fanfic readers are not often carefully reading and picking apart every aspect of a fanfic (unless its hella well written and they're analyzing it out of obsession) but using verbs that end in -ing admittedly does bog down your writing WHEN USED IN EXCESS. I can't stress enough that literally every perceived flaw in writing is fine in moderation. If you can find a way to make that verb into one ending in -ed instead, you're golden. it makes your prose so much better, but no sweat if you still love your -ing verbs.

Be aware of word connotations. Certain words paint certain pictures, so you might not want to refer to bread dough as creamy and squelching. Oh god, or really anything for that matter. But yeah, the next time you're tempted to call someones ass a "cavernous hole" just pause and think about the image that those specific words create.

Babe. Vary your sentence lengths. I promise it makes stuff better to not have 8 long ass paragraph sentences in a row. Or 25 short two word sentences. Mix it up.

On another note, ITS OKAY TO CALL SHIT WHAT IT IS. Don't fall into the trap of purple prose. Honestly with fanfic, readers are more interested in the general idea of the thought, rather than reading you use a ton of complicated words to say something simple. Sometimes it's just "he walked across the bridge" instead of "he moved one bare appendage in front of the other, carrying his form step by step across and through the wooded plank structure." And also... If it's a dick, call it a dick. If it's an eye, call it an eye. None of this "meat sword" and "orb" nonsense.

Quotation marks and paragraphs. This is really simple and you may have figured it out already but I'll explain it bc nobody explained it to me when I started. When someone speaks and you use quotation marks, that goes on a separate paragraph. Please use paragraph spaces!! It makes things rlly hard to read when they're unspaced. Spaces occur with each line of dialogue like I said, or they occur whenever the topic or scene changes. The topic might not change drastically but pay attention and you'll catch when something isn't quite in the same vein as the rest of your paragraph, that means it's time for a space!!

Describing your settings often goes a long way. Like don't get too into it because the reader is there for the smut/angst/fluff/whatever else, And not because they want to hear me describe the carpeting in the bedroom, but it really helps paint a picture in their mind when they know what's going on. Toss a lover onto a plush cream colored comforter. Breathe the air of the cedar trees surrounding their picnic.

Along that vein, detail is GOD. Little details make so much more of a difference than you realize. That quote about "You don't write about the horrors of war. You write about a kid's burnt socks lying in the road." I think is referring to plot, but it's so good for general writing advice. If you focus on the details, you can just simply state the rest without any fancy words and the picture will fall into place beautifully. Details make shit real. Readers don't know it, but they're curious what color characters toothbrush is, what their countertop looks like, how their hair smells, what their lovers skin feels like. Find ways to incorporate this organically. I swear this is probably my best tip. Also because details will set a scene, mood, or foreshadow. Too many specific details about an environment can make a scene creepy (in a good way). Too few details about an environment might happen in an action scene when things are happening quickly.

Write. What. You. Want. I dont give a shit if one bed fanfics are popular rn (I do love me a one bed ff mwah) if that's not what you're passionate about, if that's not what you love writing, you don't have to write it. Write what you enjoy. Write the stories that play themselves out in your head idc how crazy they sound PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR IT TOO. you love gory freaky shit? Girl you're not the only one, but you might be the only one brave enough to create content for that so go do that shit PROVIDE FOR YOUR PEOPLE.

Tag ur shit with proper warnings. Honestly, as long as it's not glorifying p3do, incest or racism etc, I think there's a place for writing about all topics, no matter how taboo or whatever else. But please for the love of God, place warnings at the beginning of your work. If there are spoiler specific warnings you need to give, say that in the beginning and then provide the warnings at the end. Don't not tag stuff just because it doesn't trigger you or it seems silly to be triggered by something like that. It's not silly. I literally just read a wonderful ff tonight that contained a triggering topic that would've sent me into a full blown panic attack if it were not for the warning. I saw the warning and was able to prepare myself and when the topic arose, it didn't catch me off guard. I was mentally able to process the writing because the writer disclosed the triggering topics beforehand. On another night maybe it would've been too much and I would've known from the warning that I wasn't in a place to read that fic. Providing warnings save both the reader and the writer a lot of stress, grief and frustration. You'll avoid getting unnecessary negative feedback from writing that triggered someone, and instead receive positivity from someone who was able to read your fic with a proper heads up. And the reader will have an all-around more pleasant reading experience. So when it comes to trigger warnings, the more specific the better.

Be mindful of how often you use names/pet names. Not like it's gonna kill somebody if you use a pet name too many times in a row, but as readers it's often easy to pick up patterns and that can take them out of a scene if they notice that character X ended every sentence with "darling" or something like that. With that being said, I fking love pet names AND regular names so keep using them, just be careful to not use them consistently in every sentence or it might sound funny.

It doesn't matter how many times a similar fic has been written, we need your take on it. There's a reason that, for example, nightmare oneshots are so common and it's because THEYRE THE GOOD SHIT. if something has been written a million times or even just a few times, and you feel inclined to write it but don't want to be unoriginal or repetitive DO IT ANYWAY. I promise your version is needed in this world. I can't stress that enough.

My last and most important tip, is to write and share it with the world. There is a place for you in this hellhole called the internet and your content could be the very thing that carries someone through a hard time. You could literally save someone's life just because your writing provided a needed distraction or a respite from their life. You know what I do when I have a hard day and everything feels like shit and i need a break to heal? 9 times out of 10 I read fanfic. There are so many people who find solace and comfort in these little moments and worlds we create as fanfic writers and often times, unless a reader is brave enough to come forward and say so, we have no idea the impact we have on someone's life. It was literally a fanfic that inspired me to become a professional writer and that fanfic writer will never know that because they deleted everything. I swear, fanfiction is not the stupid, meaningless screaming into the void that your brain tries to tell you it is. People hear you, people see your hard work, and people adore it. Regardless of how many likes or reblogs you get, regardless of your following. Someone's giggling and blushing reading ur shit I promise. It's hard to wrap your head around but it's true.

And that's it! If this helped anyone let me know, I can do a part two if u want. Also !! If you use this advice the next time you write or if it inspired you to write I'm BEGGING you to tag me in it.

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Liyue Voice lines about you pt 2

Reader: female

Genshin Master List | part one | Inazuma | Mondstat 1 & 2

Xiangling

What she says about you

"Y/n tries all my food! I remember her favorite to the T too! Rautollie and on the side a small cup of osmanthus wine. Even though it's her favorite she'll always compliment my food! Especially the new stuff I wish to try!"

What you say about her

"Xiangling, yes she's a great chef. She makes my favorite more than on occasion, and in return, I eat whatever she makes and tell her my opinion. She comes up with some crazy ideas but they'll be well-executed as well as planned."

Xiao

What he says about you

"No comment."

What you say about him

"Xiao. Yes. I know him. My brother in arms and by creation. We are not on good terms. Why? That is a tale for another time. Just know for those reasons in which I don't believe Im welcomed in Liyue more. And spend my time in Mondstadt hoping I will not be dragged back."

Xingqiu

What he says about you

"We fight. A lot. Oh well. It's one of the perks of being part of such a family. Besides the fighting and arguing. I believe my sister will be able to make her way as she wishes. I just hope she will stay safe"

What you say about him

"My younger brother. Im, sure he told you we fight quite a bit already. He has too much of our father in him. Thinking I'll get so easily."

Xinyan

What she says about you

"Haha! Yes! She's my bandmate! She's like a sister to me! We rock out all the time! You should see her drummin skills."

What you say about her

"Xinyan's amazing! Her guitar skills are amazing! I'm on the drum only, despite her being a Pryo user and my a Hydro user we get along well."

Yanfei

What she says about you

"I helped Y/n before, in legal matters. She was married off to a man she didn't love. then she left Liyue with a short goodbye and promised she'd come back. Fast forward she- well, he, comes back happy and married to a Cryo user. Happy as a bee. She- Ah- he, came to me immediately to catch up. Either he or she, that's the true Y/n that came to take me two years later and we've been good friends ever since."

What you say about her

"I was very fortunate to meet Yanfei when I did. She helped me with all my legal dilemmas easy peasy, I ended up leaving and returning two years and a few days after I left with my husband. I think my change in appearance shocked her just a bit, but she ran up to me happy and we talked over what's been happening. She's one of my best friends and Im so glad to have her by my side as my best friend again."

Yun Jin

What she says about you

"I do not know anyone by the name. Could you describe them? Hmm... a woman with red hair...tall and always carrying a satchel- I know her! Yes! I've never met her! But always see her at my performances! She always has a smile on her face! I suppose my music must bring a smile to her face!"

What you say about her

"Yun Jin yes. Would you like to see my sketches of her? I enjoy music while I draw. She not only is a perfect subject for quick dynamic poses, but her clothes are intricate and well made, for finer refined drawings. She has a beautiful voice and is well talented in dancing. I know Baizhu usually gives Qiqi to me on her off days and she enjoys the performance."

Zhongli

What he says about you

"Seraphs? Where did you hear that name? On the streets, I suppose that makes sense. Who is she? She was an old friend...an important piece in the archon war. I had to choose between myself, and the people of Liyue, she made that choice for me. In the midst, I and Liyue along with her people were spared. Yet Y/n was not, the people of Liyue see her as a curse rather than a blessing. It is truly a shame."

What you say about him

"Hah! You figured me out huh? But this Zhongli hasn't yet? What an interesting predicament indeed. Oh yes, I know about Zhongli, odd calling him Zhongli instead of Rexy. The teasing aside...I miss him. but there's no need to stir up old feelings now are there?"

[athina-blaine]

50 Types of Kissing Writing Prompts: #36 - Starting with bunny kisses before moving on to soft kisses.

This got away from me.

~

“Ask me again.”

“Jon, you’ve practised these questions about 20 times just on the way over. I don’t think-”

“Just ask me again.” A beat. “Please.”

Martin let out a lengthy sigh, the kind that came from deep in his belly. It echoed down the corridors of the school hall alongside their heels clicking on the vinyl floor. “Right. Okay, so, how would you describe your teaching philosophy?”

Jon took a deep breath, chest puffing up. “My teaching philosophy is that all children are unique and deserve to have a stimulating educational atmosphere. I want to provide a safe environment where students are encouraged to share their thoughts and take risks.”

Martin smiled, trying not to giggle, but Jon’s voice inflected the exact same way every time he’d say “risks”- a sort of huffy pitch. It was hard not to be amused. “Very good.”

“Ask me the question about resolving conflicts in the classroom.”

“How do you intend to resolve conflicts in the classroom?”

“I would isolate the nature of the conflict in question and strategise accordingly. Compromise is the ideal resolution but in the event one cannot be reached, I will contact a higher authority than myself to mediate and help find a solution.”

“Perfect.”

“You don’t think it makes me look weak-willed?” Jon asked, brows furrowed with distress. “The part about contacting another authority figure? What if they want me to be able to handle the problem by myself?”

“I think it’s fine. You’re new. Shows you won’t let your ego get in the way when you need help.”

Jon let out a low breath, nodding slowly. His chest collapsed until he was nearly hunched over, and he tugged frantically at the strap of his briefcase. Martin had lent him that briefcase since it matched his nice navy blue jacket- he also figured it would help Jon feel more professional.

Martin wanted to say as much, lavish Jon in compliments on how scholarly and refined he looked, but every step they took closer to the school’s administrative office seemed to wound him up tighter and tighter until that briefcase strap threatened to fall apart. If Martin said Jon looked good now, Jon would just argue with him, citing the scuff in his shoes he hadn’t managed to buff out, or quadruple-guess the way he’d tied up his hair or something. The last thing Martin wanted to do was make Jon self-conscious; he’d just have to save all his gushing and lavishing for after the interview.

Martin’s restraint didn’t seem to matter, though, as, without warning, Jon stopped dead in the middle of the hall, digging into the recesses of his case. “I-I should practice the lesson plan one more time, the entire lecture phase is-”

“Jon.” Martin clasped his hands on Jon’s shoulders and turned him around. Jon stared up at him, eyes owlish and glossy with muted panic. “Please. Relax. It’s a part-time home economics class, not tenure for university English lit. You’re funny and charismatic and intelligent. They’re going to be begging you to take the job. The nice lady on the phone said as much.”

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t make promises you have no possible way of keeping,” Jon said, a sliver of ice snaking through his words. Martin lifted a pointed brow, and a dark stain flushed Jon’s face. He looked away. “No, I … Sorry. I don’t mean to snap.”

“It’s okay to be nervous.”

“It’s not that, it’s …” Jon sighed, shoulders sagging. “I just want this to work. I … need this to work.”

Martin tilted his head. This wasn’t the same frantic energy Jon had been carrying with him since he’d gotten off the phone with Principal Williams last week. This was something heavier. More sombre.

“Can you tell me why?”

“It’s silly.”

“Maybe.” Martin shrugged. “Most things are.”

Jon still wouldn’t meet his eyes, staring down at their warped reflections in the floor. Martin waited, rubbing his thumbs over the jut of Jon’s shoulders.

“I just …” Jon started, then paused to breathe. “I don’t know whether or not I can still … function out here. Outside of the Institute. It’s been so long and … what if I just … can’t?” His voice lowered to a dull murmur. “What if I can’t make the adjustment?”

Humming, Martin stroked his hands up and down the length of Jon’s arms. He pressed a kiss to Jon’s forehead. “I don’t think that’s silly.”

Jon sighed through his nose, tickling Martin’s collarbone. Slowly, Martin pulled away.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, so. Let’s pretend you don’t get the job. Which won’t happen,” he said quickly when Jon’s head snapped up. “You are absolutely getting this job. But let’s just pretend you don’t. What do you think will happen after that?”

Jon’s brow furrowed with quiet confusion. His mouth flapped for a long while before, softly, “I … don’t understand?”

“Here’s what I think will happen,” Martin said, cupping Jon’s face between his hands. “We’ll go home. We’ll order a pizza, half cheese half-Mediterranean. We’ll flip on the TV and finish that nature documentary series. We can polish off that bottle of wine and I’ll rub your feet.” Martin leaned in close enough to press his lips to the bridge of Jon’s nose. “And then we’ll try something else. I actually think that animal hospital nearby is hiring.” Martin smoothed a thumb over his cheekbone. “You’d make a really cute vet tech.”

Jon’s lips twitched, eyes brimming with some complicated emotion. Martin smiled, holding his gaze until Jon turned away, face warming again.

“It’d suck if you didn’t get this job,” Martin said. “You’d be fantastic at it and they’d be stupid to turn you away. But, whatever happens, you’ll be fine. We will be fine.”

Silent, Jon stared somewhere between Martin’s chest and his neck. Then, he swayed forward, leaning into Martin’s sturdy weight, and Martin wrapped his arms around him, pressing his face into prim, professionally styled hair. They stood like that for a long while, breathing each other in. Good thing Jon had them show up about a half-hour early for the interview, just in case.

When they parted, Jon opened his eyes again, calm and bright.

“We could also get killed by a rogue satellite,” he murmured. Martin’s eyes widened. “Just, you know, as a worst possible thing that could happen. Rogue satellite. Right on our heads.”

Martin snorted. “I don’t think I phrased it quite like that, but, yes, I suppose we should consider that a possibility.”

Jon took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly, just as Martin taught him. He rolled out his neck, cleared his throat, and tilted his head up. “Alright. Kiss me.”

Martin blinked. “Um. What?”

“Kiss me.” A beat. “For luck. Obviously.”

“Oh. Obviously.” Martin tried to smother his twitching smile. “I didn't realise we'd started doing that."

“Yes.” His eyes became pleading. “Please?”

Martin rolled his eyes, but kissed him, a chaste pressing of their lips. Jon’s eyes had slid shut and he took another deep breath.

“One more?”

Martin obliged. Jon’s eyes remained closed, his chin still tilted up. Martin provided another one without prompting, and then one more, for good measure, soft and indulgent. They were rubbing away at Jon's lip balm, but Martin's lips had been feeling a little dry anyway. The tension bled from Jon’s shoulders, and Martin parted with a breathy sigh.

“That’s all your lucky kisses for the year,” Martin said, earning himself a chuckle. “Spend it wisely.”

A cough drew their attention. An older woman stood idle by one of the classrooms. Through both of their embarrassed spluttering, Martin managed to note her and Jon had tied their hair in similar fashions.

Oh yeah. Jon was going to fit right in.

The woman stepped forward. “Mr. Sims, I presume?”

“I- uh, y-yes, ma’am.” Jon’s face was burning but the woman smiled.

“Glad you could make it. Mrs. Williams seemed really impressed with you after your phone call. Shall I walk you to her office?”

Jon nodded, squeezing Martin’s hand hard enough to break it off and take it with him. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh, none of this ma’am stuff. We’re going to be coworkers, yeah?" She held out her hand. "You can call me Janice. I teach maths.”

“Yes, m- Yes, Janice. It’s a pleasure to meet you." Jon accepted her hand. "Um, you can call me Jon.”

After their quick handshake, she indicated towards the hallway. Jon nodded and looked over to Martin. “I, uh … guess I’ll meet you by the car?”

“Meet you there.” Martin gave his hand one more squeeze. “Good luck.”

Jon smiled, a delicate, fluttering thing, before he slid his hand out of Martin’s and allowed Janice to lead them down the hallway.

“So, you’re from London, yeah?” she asked. “Grow up there?”

“No, I’m from Bournemouth. I moved to London after I graduated uni.”

“Oh, really? I think I’ve got a cousin who lives by that area. Always wish I’d have lived somewhere more coastal.” She turned to him, her teeth pearly white. “I have to say, we’re all a little curious about you. Don’t have many city-people here. We’re really excited to have you onboard.”

“Oh.” Even from this distance, Martin could see the way Jon’s face flushed. “I … I see.”

“I’m sure the others will want to ask you all sorts of questions, but don’t let that put you off, the staff here is as sweet as can be. They’ll get used to you soon enough.”

Jon glanced over his shoulder back at Martin, looking fit to burst. Martin waved, sure that his own expression was as sappy and affectionate as could be.

Yeah.

They’re going to be just fine.

[whosscruffylooking]

The Purest Things-Jack

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Warnings: Nothing. Pure fluff.

Word Count: 1.1k

a/n: a short one but cute one :)

au! november 2007

the purest things masterlist

au! november 2007

Bookend: The innocence of children is what makes them stand out as a shining example to the rest of Mankind. — Kurt Chambers

Everything in your house has slumbered beneath silken dust, awaiting the day that a fresh wind would polish it clean. The past two months were filled with cases that kept you on the go. At last, there was a lull that allowed your team to have a few off days. So, you invited everyone over for a small dinner party at your house.

Running over to the stove to stir the bubbling sauce, you glance at the clock on the microwave and see that people will be arriving at any time. Right on time, the doorbell rings.

You skip over to the door and are met with the glowing faces of Penelope, Derek, and David. "Come in!" You exclaim as they wipe their feet on the doormat. Looping your arm around David's, you walk him to the kitchen, "Don't be too hard on me now. I am no artist of cuisine, but I give it my best when I go all out."

He glances at the dishes you've prepared, taking a wooden spoon and tasting your sauce, "My child, you are a prodigy! I must refine your ways: next Saturday, you and me, a lesson in Italian cuisine." "It's a date," you chirp.

Another chime of the doorbell alerts you to more visitors. "I got it," you shout behind you as you stroll to the door. On the other side of the door is  Spencer, JJ, Hotch, and a little boy gripping his hand. Jack.

"Why hello there," you kneel to meet him at his level. He smiles a crooked half-smile, leaning against Aaron's leg. "Say hi," he squeezes Jack's shoulder. Instead of responding, he pulls out of his father's grasp and wobbles into the foyer. His little knees are like hinges, slowly but surely hoisting his toddler body further into the house. You can't help but giggle at how awkward his movements are, a feeling of warmth overcoming you because of the undeniable cuteness.

Lifting yourself off the ground, you greet your guests and welcome them inside.

"How old is Jack?" You ask Aaron.

"He turned two last month," he beams while admiring his young son.

"He looks like you."

"He's his mother through and through." ++++ You search for Jack and find him in the hallway, bouncing and clapping his hands as if listening to music in his mind. Unable to hide your smile, you catch the attention of David and Aaron, who stand in the foyer.

"She's taken a liking to Jack," David notes.

Aaron does not verbally respond, but his hint of a grin signals Rossi to his feelings on the matter.

Jack trips over to you, his moves formed out of chaos and not by any scientific behavior that even the great Spencer Reid could explain. You giggle as he stumbles onto the floor next to you. "Hey," you whisper playfully, "I need help finishing dinner. Why don't you come help me, and we can keep you out of trouble." Reaching your arms out to Jack, you offer to carry him into the kitchen. His words run into one another and are entirely incomprehensible.

"I'll take that as a yes," you scoop him into your arms and place him on the kitchen counter. Handing him some noodles to play with, you keep him occupied.

"She's great with him too," David nods.

Aaron doesn't need David to tell him that, though. He is observing it all for himself. His life was turned upside down when he became a father. Aaron had been blessed with a son. And along with that son came a sacred duty, to raise him in a life filled with love and protection. He knows that he has made some poor choices and has failed to prioritize his son in certain life aspects. However, he refuses to make those same mistakes again.

Aaron has to navigate this new role as a "single" parent all alone, though. He can contact Haley when necessary, but he wants to create a safe little bubble for Jack to come to when with him. Aaron doesn't have a family as Haley does. They are estranged from one another. The BAU team is the closest thing he has to family now. And here you are, the newest member, solidifying your role in this family and now your position in Aaron and Jack's. ++++ With the table set, dishes served, and everyone seated, you begin your feast. Jack insisted on sitting next to you, and you willingly obliged him. Aaron sits on the opposite side of his son, feeding him small portions of food that he can easily chew.

Jack starts to bounce up and down on his bottom; his eyes are wide, and his mouth already partly open. He is eyeing the spaghetti that wraps around your fork. When the first food goes into your mouth, he has a slightly crestfallen look but then starts his celebratory bounce again as his father draws his attention back to his tiny bites.

"Aaron?"

He looks up at you, "Yes?"

"How about I feed Jack so that you can eat your dinner?"

"No, you should eat."

"I've been taste-testing this meal all day. Please, enjoy it."

He agrees and hands you the spoon. For the remainder of dinner, you fly each scoop like an airplane into Jack's little mouth. ++++ As everyone prepares to leave, Aaron lingers...a slumbering little boy in his arms.

"Did you forget something in the house," you question, "One of Jack's toys?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I just wanted to thank you for preparing dinner, hosting us all in your home, and somehow managing to give Jack the time of his life tonight."

"It was my pleasure. And hanging with Jack? That was the icing on top of the cake for me," you softly pat Jack's back so as not to wake him.

Parting ways, you say goodnight to one another. You watch from the front doorstep as Aaron straps Jack into his car seat. He waves at you one last time as he gets into the passenger seat. Fondly, you wave back to him. There is so much to admire about that man. The thought of the Hotchner boys alarmingly keeps you up all night.

Sleeplessness is a part of your job, but at least tonight, you aren't restless because of the nightmares or the vivid images from cases that haunt your mind. No, you are awake because your heart is full. Fullness, an unfamiliar feeling that has been taking root in your heart since you joined the BAU. A feeling that you pray never disappears.

tag list 🏷

@agentaaronhotass @averyhotchner @britishspidey @cat11-2 @cecemariee7302​ @chazubagi​ @chellybear98​ @clairedragonessbaker @cpt-cevans @destiny-tsukino​ @frogrrylovebot @gubs-boobs @halloweenwithreid @hopelesslylosttheway @hothskies​ @infinte_tides @joyclubie @junoscorner @kenzies-mr-j @kyliesalvatore @mac99martin​ @mcntsee @megans-txmblr​ @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @peachyotps @prettylittlemoonlight @ptrs-prkrs @purpledragonturtles​ @ravenmoore14 @softhetixx @spaghetti-dad187 @spencerreidsoulmate @ssagube @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sweetiecake180 @theoldestguard @timelesstay @totalmess191 @vampiracontessa​ @wanniiieeee​ @weexinling​ @yoshigguk

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 21, second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Flute Solo

For some reason Wei Wuxian has decided to take a walk outside of the fortress, or behind the fortress, or something? Can people just take a stroll outside during wartime? Seems unwise.

There are guards and these extra-bossy crows herding some Wen prisoners along, and Wei Wuxian stands up above and gets totally overwhelmed by resentful energy.  

He falls to one knee while clutching his chest, in the spot where all cultivators seem to stow a bag of holding. I guess this is the Xuanwu sword? Or maybe it's his surgical incision; those things can take a while to finish healing. I think the golden core is further down in the abdomen, though; this is right over his heart. 

Wen Qing, Granny, and Fourth Uncle are in the group, but Wen Qing has her hood up so Wei Wuxian can't see her, and he's unlikely to remember the other two, since he only saw them that one time at the shrine, and he doesn't remember people he's literally had dinner with.  

The guards decide to be assholes and beat the shit out of a prisoner because he fell down, which inspires some extra aggressive crows to swoop in and attack the not-dead guy on the ground. That is...not how carrion-eaters behave, generally. They're pretty good about waiting for you to stop moving.

Wei Wuxian continues to struggle, obviously having an orgasm in a lot of pain, and starting to leak resentful energy.

(more after the cut)

He brings his flute up and starts playing it, which causes the wind to rise, rocks to fall from a nearby cliff, and the whole group of people on the ground under him to start having Yin Iron lines crawling up their faces.

Would Wen Qing be a beautiful fierce corpse? She would. 

Eventually Wei Wuxian stops torturing everybody, having gotten it out of his system for a bit, and stands up.  The group gets up, skin clearing up, and starts moving along again, a little shook. Wen Qing looks up and sees Wei Wuxian and hides her face in anguish.

She was there in the dungeon, listening to the same flute music, when he was resentfully slaughtering everyone around her in Yiling. Does she understand what she’s seeing, what he’s become? 

Her hood is off and it seems that he sees her, or at least that he is trying to figure out what he's seeing. But Jiang Yanli arrives before he can do more than look puzzled and cast his eyes around.  

Jiang Yanli asks him what just happened and he laughs and says it was the strong wind, in an extremely transparent lie that Yanli nearly chokes trying to swallow. She drags him back to the meeting while he continues to look troubled.

War Council

Meanwhile, the war council is meeting. This is mostly a boring rehash of stuff we already know, but someone has drawn a nice big map that's been installed in a custom frame. Because apparently the table with the mountains on it is not a good enough representation of "and then we will walk from our house to Wen Ruohan's house," which is basically their plan. The gist of this scene is that Wen Ruohan having the Yin Iron gives him an advantage, in case we needed to be reminded of that. 

The doors fly open and Wei Wuxian and his fabulous ass literally blow into the room. 

Everyone reacts in a comically extreme way. 

He casts his eyes malevolently and/or sexily over to Lan Wangji, who is still grumpy with him, while Jiang Cheng comes up and stands almost as close to him as Lan Wangji used to.

He tells everybody that he might have something to counteract the yin iron.

Everybody: Really? Do tell!  

Wei Wuxian: Happy to!

Wei Wuxian: *theatrical side-eye at judgy ex boyfriend* 

Wei Wuxian: Actually, nope.

He says "we'll see in about a month" while fondling whatever is hidden next to his ribcage.

This behavior, while ridiculous, isn't quite as absurd as it seems from a corporate-meeting standpoint. Part of what cultivators do is invent and refine spiritual tools. So when Wei Wuxian makes this speech, the people in the meeting are going to infer that he is creating a spiritual tool to counter the Yin Iron.

Now it's Lan Xichen's turn to ask everybody’s favorite question. Lan Xichen wasn’t at the party when everyone else asked him, and we're apparently supposed to believe these gossips haven't been talking about the not-sword-carrying 24x7.

Wei Wuxian says he's just not in the mood, and we get to see Lan Xichen's impressive ability to hold his face completely still while he represses his desire to slap someone.

Jin Zixun complains about Wei Wuxian after he leaves, but for once his bitching is on point; he correctly surmises that the counter to yin iron is...yin iron. 

Now, to be fair, the yin tiger amulet is different from the yin iron because it exists in the novel Wei Wuxian specially refines it to be more manageable than the sword it started from. And maybe it’s gel coated to be easier on the stomach. But it's basically the same shit.

Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue exchange intense gazes, just to prove that the young people aren’t the only ones who know how to eye fuck. 

Lying Is Forbidden 

Lan Xichen talks to Lan Wangji, and we discover that Lan Wangji is perfectly capable of lying. He manages to maintain a reputation for not lying but I think the trick is that he just avoids talking in general, so when, for example, people in later years say "who's your masked boyfriend" he just doesn't answer, which isn't really lying. (How many times did Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen ask “where did you get this kid?” and just not get an answer, I wonder.) 

At other times he actually directly lies, as when he claims he is “just passing through” Yiling on a night hunt. The current conversation with Lan Xichen definitely involves actual lying.

Let's play multiple choice answers with the Lan brothers!

Q:  Why is WWX so confident we can have Yin Iron against WRH in a month? 

a.) Because he's been walking around with that Xuanwu sword for months, and it is obviously made of Yin iron b.) because he used a fucking ghost flute to flay Wen Chao more or less in front of me, so he is clearly down with some dark magics c.) I don’t know

Q: Was the death of people in the Yiling supervisory office really related to yin iron?

a.) obviously b.) maybe he was using some other source of overwhelming necromantic power c.) no, he’s not like that

Q. When you approached Yiling, was there anything unusual?

a.) yes, the talismans had been altered to draw in evil spirits b.) yes, everyone except his particular friend Wen Qing had killed themselves in horrifying, outlandish ways c.) are there rules already set for everything in the world?

Xichen, bless him, actually lets Lan Wangji change the subject like that and answers his question honestly.

Xichen: Actually, rules are pretty much shit Wangji: fucking hell, you're telling me this NOW? What have I been doing for the past 18 years then?

They both look just ridiculously beautiful in this conversation. Lan Wangji’s affect with his brother is so interesting. He’s trusting, emotionally open, willing to be seen...but only because he knows Lan Xichen won’t push past his barriers, won’t force him to speak the truth of what’s on his mind.

Awkwardness

The Yunmeng bros roll up, and awkwardness ensues. 

Wangji is frowning hard. His frowns are of the micro variety just like his smiles, but boy they are consistent and Wei Wuxian and Xichen both know how to read them.

Wei Wuxian gives Lan Xichen a small, sunny smile--it seems genuine, not like the fake ones he's trotting out on demand for his family. 

Then he gives Lan Wangji a pointed gaze of yearning and reproachfulness, which Lan Wangji returns, switching from frowning to a softer expression that seems about equal parts hurt, apology, and thirst.

Wei Wuxian reacts to that by bowing again and leaving, with Jiang Cheng quickly following, wondering what the fuck just happened.

Lans Xichen and Wangji pivot gracefully to watch them go, which Lan Wangji should know is not correct post-breakup behavior; you're supposed to act disinterested, my dude. 

And then Lan Xichen asks Lan Wangji what the fuck is going on. Lan Wangji gets one more lie in, saying he's not worried about Wei Wuxian, before reapplying his frown and walking away from the conversation.

Macroexpression Brothers

OP was wrong about Wei Wuxian not hugging Jiang Cheng any more--here he is hanging on him just like the old days, and Jiang Cheng is shoving him off, just like the old days. However, it emerges that this is mostly an act that WWX is putting on to seem normal. 

Jiang Cheng wants to know what's wrong between him and Lan Wangji, and asks why they broke up. Wei Wuxian points out that Jiang Cheng didn't like him dating Lan Wangji before, so why is he pushing him to get back together with him now, and Jiang Cheng says that now they're allies in a war, so Wei Wuxian needs to do his duty and help keep Lan Wangji in fighting trim, nudge nudge. 

Then he starts lecturing Wei Wuxian about sword cultivation and generally good behavior, and Wei Wuxian theatrically nods and give him appraising looks, telling him he really seems like a clan leader now.

Jiang Cheng headshakes this away. Wei Wuxian actually giving Jiang Cheng a sincere compliment here, disguised as teasing, and he's not wrong. Jiang Cheng has matured and is becoming a strong leader. Not strong enough to ignore peer pressure, but that’s true of most clan leaders in this environment. They’re not supposed to ignore peer pressure. 

Wei Wuxian is pointing it out for his own reasons - he doesn't want to be having this conversation - but it's nice to see him giving his clan leader his due.

Jiang Cheng walks away as Wei Wuxian smiles after him; as soon as he's out of sight the smile falls off of Wei Wuxian's face as fast as fast as gravity can take it. It's like someone snuffed a candle.

No one bites back as hard On their anger None of my pain and woe Can show through

But my dreams, they aren't as empty As my conscience seems to be I have hours, only lonely My love is vengeance that's never free

More Awkwardness

Lan Wangji and his ambivalence come looking for Wei Wuxian, standing outside his door and raising a hand to knock before changing his mind and fleeing. 

Lan Wangji is on the back foot for the first time in his relationship with Wei Wuxian; this boy who pursued and pursued and PURSUED him is now a man who won't speak to him.  This boy who hung on every one of his words, and saw through all of his minute facial expressions, has become a man who won't listen to him. Lan Wangji is in the position of pursuer, now, and it's not a role he's well equipped for.

Yanli stops him as he's bailing. He looks so relieved to see her, but he tries to escape immediately after greeting her. She stops him so she can ask what the fuck is going on. 

Unfortunately, Wei Wuxian rolls up while Lan Wangji is in the middle of talking to her.  He's telling her about the heterodox cultivation, and Wei Wuxian busts him. Wei Wuxian steps up and asks what he was telling her, and Lan Wangji says "Wei Ying," but doesn't get much further than that.

Nunya

Wei Wuxian reminds him that he told him to stay out of Jiang Clan business. Now, here I want to mention that "private" and "not your bidness" are culturally specific concepts. OP, for example, grew up in version of Irish-American culture so secretive that the problems of a person's life and (often) the cause of their death are things only discovered by whoever inherits their papers. [OP inherited 3 generations of letters a few years ago, and HOO BOY]

In the version of Chinese culture which we see in this drama, your choices, thoughts & troubles belong to the family and clan, not just to you.  Wei Wuxian, in shutting his elder sister out of his struggles, is not family-ing correctly. Jiang Yanli is right to try to get around that by asking his friend. His friend is also right to give her--in sanitized form--the information she is asking for. 

Wei Wuxian has zero trust in Lan Wangji at this point, unfortunately. He doesn’t know that Lan Wangji has been lying to cover for him; he just knows he’s being a grumpy aggressive holy roller. Now, when Lan Wangji has just been given permission to disregard all 3000 rules and look at a person’s heart, that person’s heart has been hardened against him. 

Yanli is used to dealing with Wei Wuxian's moods at this point -- after all, a lifetime of Jiang Cheng has got her used to volatile little brothers, and Wei Wuxian is clearly a new, not-improved man since his return. 

She tries to get him to chill out while Lan Wangji gives him a death glare -- not a return to the earlier generalized frown, more of a specific "I can't believe how full of shit you are" frown.

Wei Wuxian calls him Lan Er Gongzi, like a dick. Lan Wangji started this but at this point Wei Wuxian is kind of in the lead for who is being The Worst. Lan Wangji executes a beautiful 180 and walks away at top speed. 

Wei Wuxian asks Yanli if he talked about Yiling and when she says he didn't, he realizes he fucked up. 

He goes running after him and calls him Lan Zhan and says "listen to me" but Lan Wangji is no longer in a listening mood. 

Eat A Dick Sword

Lan Wangji is so far in his feelings at this point that he just hauls out his sword and goes after Wei Wuxian, taking complete control of the interaction and forcing Wei Wuxian to concede the fight. Aww, he’s so angry! I love him. 

This is a rough moment for Wei Wuxian. He really genuinely can't hold his own against Lan Wangji, unless he's going to directly use necromancy against him the way he does later in their final confrontation. 

When they first met he was able to defend himself on the rooftop without drawing his sword, but he's weaker now; Chenqing is an adequate hand weapon against most cultivators and puppets, but it's not a match for Lan Wangji's full attack. 

Wei Wuxian is not enjoying this fight, and can’t win in, so he just throws in the towel, exposing his throat and trusting Lan Wangji's control.

On the surface, this fight appears to re-establish their former rapport, but it puts them on such an uneven footing it might actually drive a larger wedge between them.  I think that Lan Wangji has made a strategic error in doing this.  

Lan Wangji seems to want to prove to Wei Wuxian that his new style of cultivation is inadequate, that he would do better with a sword. Swordplay was the beginning of their relationship; their matched power was the source of their mutual attraction. Lan Wangji can't accept that Wei Wuxian has given it up; he doesn't (yet) respect his agency enough to assume that he has a good reason.

This fight functions as yet another punishment that Lan Wangji doles out to Wei Wuxian; not a physical one, this time, but a psychological one, and their relationship pays the price. 

By attacking Wei Wuxian and forcing him to concede, Lan Wangji is showing that they're unequal. By criticizing Wei Wuxian's lack of progress and asking him the same goddamn question everybody else is asking him -- where is your sword? -- Lan Wangji is humiliating him. 

This encounter does not re-establish Wei Wuxian’s trust in him; it just forces him to accept Lan Wangji’s authority, for now. Which is not what either of them really wants. 

Soundtrack: Behind Blue Eyes, by The Who

Writing Prompt: What would Wei Wuxian have said if Lan Wangji had listened to him instead of drawing his sword?

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

“People? In Deya?? ‘Cool?” Hm.” Rhoam scrunched his eyebrows. Contemplating the existence of other beings besides yourself is a struggle as old as existence. “Surely nobody in a dingy old fishing village could compare to everyone living in the castle. The best of the best people in Hyrule all come from here, the ‘Heart of Hyrule!’ Or that’s what my father says, anyhow…”

Elane shrugged, her shoulders crinkling the lace of her dress. She kicked a pebble down the path while stepping over the various little cracks in the earth. 

“Well how should you know?” She looked up at him, eyes actually a bit curious. “Have you gone out to meet regular people to confirm that?”

“Uh…” Rhoam twiddled his thumbs together, suddenly allowing himself to take the time to enjoy the scenery around him. “It’s, uh, well. I’ve got, tutors. And. Fencing and lessons and stuff. A bit busy to really, do, uh, personal interviews. B-But my father said so!” He wagged his finger, his sleeves as puffed as his boastful manner. “And he says that our opinions, as castle residents, are better than other people’s opinions. So that means we can’t be wrong, ever! So you know, since you’re Queen—er, *gonna* be Queen, that gives all the more reason why we should be reserved with our compliments of other people that are ‘cool,’ as our influence politically could spiral in— ”

Elane was already back to kicking her pebble across the garden.

As Rhoam continued to ramble on, and remembering his father’s notes to always slide in the occasional reminder that rulers needed “wise and loyal friends” by their side, Terrako continued to clamber on beside the princess. Its spider-like legs provided ample space between Elane and Rhoam. She patted Terrako’s head approvingly as the minutes went by, and it was only now that she noticed its eye had glowed to that charming pink color again. 

But as if bored to death by Bosphoramus breath, the color waned, and waned, and trickled towards a softer shade of blue as time went— 

“—What makes you think those Deya people are ‘cool,’ again?”

Terrako perked up. Pink.

Elane looked back at him, trying to climb back into the caboose of her train of thought. “H-Huh? Deya..?”

“Well you were…silent during my explanation of their trade exports, so I assume it wasn’t some economic partnership that got them to perk your interest. And I doubt a rundown village like that will be as culturally refined or as educated as Castle Town…”

“They have fortune tellers!” Elane cut in. “I’d say that’s pretty cool!”

Rhoam frowned. “What, like The Parallax? We have those, too.”

“The what?”

“Princess Elane.”

The kids looked up to see an attendant dressed in a simple green uniform approach them. It seemed their conversation had carried on for so long that they had finally reached the other end of the garden, the tiled carriage road now clearly visible beyond some apple trees. The attendant took off his rimmed rider’s hat and pressed it to his chest with a bow. 

“Your Highness. Sir Rhoam. Apologies for any interruption. Lord Bosphoramus has asked me to escort you both to a carriage for the trip to Queen Solas’ party.”

Elane bobbed her head to the side. “Can’t I sit with my mom and dad?”

The man exchanged a subtle eye contact with Rhoam and then the ground. Us creatures under the earth must certainly be blushing from all the attention today.

“Well, uh. Lord Bosphoramus specified that Your Highness and Sir Rhoam would…want each other’s company for the trip, and—”

“I dunno…” The princess rubbed her chin in reflective thought. “I have this whole plan I need to start to make my dad more rude and horrible and I kinda wanna get a headstart…”  

“Perhaps! We should wait!” Rhoam piped in just a little too loudly. He coughed. “Cause, uh. King Florimond said he would also be here shortly? And we should respect King Dad, Elane father, uh, his decision! Cause, uh, I-I mean, unless *you* think it could be a good idea for us to hang out more cause if that’s what you’d want I wouldn’t dare oppose your Queenly, uh…” 

Elane had still been in deep thought, rubbing her chin. It was her giggling that awakened Rhoam to her priority, as she laughed at her small little Terrako, copying her chin rubbing motion with its tiny claws. Rhoam frowned at its soft, indigo eye.

He twiddled his thumbs again. “So, yeah. We should just…hold off, on that, before we…”

He glanced at the attendant. “...commit to anything.” He articulated his last few words with an odd pleading.

The attendant paused, then nodded after a moment. 

“Very good. Come with me, then.”

Elane pranced off towards the carriages. Her eyes shone with new light as she spotted the horses, and she began a tangent of her own about them, completely forgetting what other conversations had transpired beforehand.

A bright blue Terrako followed close behind. 

[sproutsgcrden]

sentinel of naruhata | chapter three

koichi's very bad, no good day

warnings: descriptions of violence, manga spoilers for my hero academia: vigilantes

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“So… you’re Haimawari Koichi, age 19, freshman at Hitonami College… I’ll just call you Koichi, then. Unless you like the sound of Nice Guy better.”

Izuku laughed at Haimawari’s sputtering reaction, clutching his stomach as he leaned back against the cool floor of Koichi’s little one-room apartment. After the incident with the return of those thugs, Izuku and Knuckleduster followed Koichi back to his home. Knuckleduster was determined to recruit the both of them, and Izuku just… didn’t have anywhere else to be. He was sure that Eraserhead was already done with patrol by the time their skirmish ended.

Luckily, Koichi didn’t seem to mind too much when Izuku mentioned dying his hair. He felt the black suited him nicely, even if it was still a little damp. He didn’t need Tomura or Kurogiri making a surprise appearance and immediately picking out his green curls from the crowd.

“Don’t go through my stuff, crazy old man!” Koichi reached over to grab his student I.D. and his wallet from Knuckleduster’s grasp.

The veteran vigilante ignored him as he turned to face Izuku. “And what should we call you, kid?”

“Izuku.” The young boy had stopped laughing, but he was still laying on the floor.

“What, no last name? Running away from home?”

“What’s it to you?”

Koichi leaned over him, glancing down with concerned eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to live off of the streets… No wonder you bought a weird amount of junk at the store.”

Izuku grimaced, sitting up and pushing the older kid out of his space. “I’m fine. Can we change subjects?”

Knuckleduster nodded, sending a small smirk Izuku’s way. “Okay. Why are you looking for Eraserhead?”

Koichi blinked, ignoring Izuku’s frustrated groan. “Who’s Eraserhead?”

“He’s an underground hero. He can erase quirks, barring any mutations, and he practically fights quirkless. He’s a badass.” Izuku was talking animatedly, moving his hands around wildly.

“Oh. Wait. Is he your dad?”

“Why would he be my father?!”

“You have the exact same quirk don’t you?”

Izuku slumped, flitting his gaze towards the floor. “It’s similar. I want him to train me how to be a hero. Plus I need his help with something, not that I’m gonna tell you losers what that is.”

Koichi let out an offended grunt while Knuckleduster heartily chuckled.

“Anyways. The two of you will be calling me Master.” Knuckleduster moved from the table to the small mini fridge in the corner of the room, opening it up to find it full of beer.

“Didn’t we tell you that we weren’t going to be your apprentices?” Koichi glared as the man opened a can of beer and began to chug it. “And would you get out already? This is my house!”

The old man ignored Koichi’s protests in favor of grabbing another can of beer. “The drug is called Trigger. It’s a quirk-booster; it also weakens the user’s ability to reason. Basically, this drug turns regular folk into instant villains.”

Izuku glared at the table, clenching his hands into tight fists. He knew all too well what Trigger was capable of. He shuddered as he dared to think what could happen if his father forced Tomura to take the drug. Japan would be completely decimated.

“So, why not just let the heroes do something about it? Or call the police.” Koichi let his head drop to the table, bored and frustrated at the fact that Knuckleduster was refusing to leave him alone.

Knuckleduster barked out a short laugh. “Ain’t gonna happen, kid. These pop-up villains on trigger can emerge from any crowd, at any time. Cops and heroes are always forced to play catch-up.”

“Oh. So they blend in with everyone else?”

“Exactly. And that’s where we come in!” Shocking the two boys into backing up, Knuckleduster hopped to his feet, hand clenched into a fist.

Izuku shook out of the state first, glaring at the older man. “Did you just say ‘we’?”

“That’s right, kid! The three of us are gonna go out, stop suspicious looking characters, and check their tongues!”

“Okay, even if we wanted to go with you, why are you allowing a nine-year old to accompany you? That seems pretty crazy to me.”

“Oh please. He’s more advanced in quirk usage and hand to hand than you, just based on last night. Plus, if he’s hiding from his parents, he’s got nothing else to do. He’s already a deviant in the law’s eyes.”

Izuku could do nothing but reluctantly nod his head at that.

“Trigger turns the user’s tongue black, so we’re gonna give those losers a beat down and make them spill the details on their dealer. That’s the only way to put an end to this whole drug trade.”

Koichi sweat dropped, shaking his head. “So you just want us to go around punching people?”

“Exactly!”

“I thought you were just joking! What the hell, man!” Koichi screamed as he hung off of Knuckleduster’s left arm. Izuku laughed maniacally as he hung off of the vigilante’s neck. He was punching people with his right hand and checking their tongues.

Koichi could admit he was a great multitasker. But holy shit, this man was insane.

The three of them were causing quite the commotion; people were screaming and running away from a man carrying a college student and a little kid who was also throttling everyone he was in range of. It wouldn’t be too long before a hero showed up to stop whatever was happening.

In a desperate attempt to stop Knuckleduster’s shenanigans, Koichi called out to the group closest to them. “Please! Give us a peek at your tongues! Stick ‘em out a little and this will all be over!” The guy closest to them stuck out his, thankfully, normal looking tongue. Koichi tried not to be too offended when the man also flipped him off.

It was hard to hear over Izuku’s laughter, which only increased in volume after getting the finger, but Koichi’s ear perked up at the sound of boots hitting the metal above them. With a glance upwards, the hoodie-clad vigilante felt his eyes soften in relief. “Pop Step!”

“What the hell are you losers doing?” The pink haired idol-in-the-making jumped down to the ground as soon as Kunckleduster threw both Koichi and Izuku on a nearby bench. They landed harshly, Izuku’s laughter tapering off within an instant. Koichi immediately shook it off, and stalked over to a nearby vending machine, selecting a coffee for himself and a juice for Izuku.

“Why don’t you ask the old man? He was the one chasing after innocent bystanders like a lunatic.” Koichi mosied back over to the bench, tossing Izuku the juice as he plopped down beside him.

“I’m nine, not a toddler. What if I wanted a coffee?”

“If they cooperated, I wouldn’t have to look like a lunatic now would I?”

Koichi ignored the both of them as he opened his coffee, taking a well-deserved sip after lowering his mask. He leaned his head back in a rare moment of reprieve, trying to block out the weirdness he somehow chose to surround himself with. He only blinked back into the present when Pop Step aggressively leaned on his arm.

“So you’re looking for junkies and dealers, huh?” Her thoughtful expression drooped into a grimace as she looked away from Knuckleduster. “Thanks for showing up last night, pops. Provided me with a distraction so I could slip away from that idiot.”

“Whatever.”

“Shouldn’t you be thanking me?!”

Pop Step shrugged, stepping back and throwing her hands on her hips. “Why’s the runt still following you around?”

Izuku, who was absentmindedly sipping on the juice that Koichi had gotten him, slowly looked up at Pop Step with narrowed eyes. “I’m not following them. I’ve just got nowhere else to be at the moment and it’s entertaining to see these two create chaos.”

“Right… and that Eraserdude you were looking for?”

“I won’t even be able to start searching for him until night falls. I’m just passing the time.”

Pop blinked a few times before turning back to Koichi. “So, Nice Guy!”

“You can just call me Koichi.”

“Koichi? Is that your real name?” Pop Step hopped in place, her large grin very apparent. “Why are you going along with this, Koichi?

The college student paused, the can of coffee held up to his lips as if he was ready to take another sip. He slowly moved it down, allowing it to rest against his thigh instead. “I just… if I don’t keep an eye on the guy, he’ll beat up every last person on the streets.”

“Nah. I start with the most suspicious ones… like youngsters who can’t stop messing around.”

Koichi ignored the statement, along with Izuku’s snort, as he continued. “And who knows what kind of trouble the kid’ll get up to without a responsible adult nearby!”

“Responsible? Says the dude who’s only item in his fridge is a case of beer!”

“You all are morons!” Pop stomped her foot against the ground. “Going at it so randomly is never going to work. Why don’t you use your heads!!”

Koichi looked up at the girl from his spot on the bench, eyes blank in confusion. “Our heads?”

Pop Step rolled her eyes, sitting on the edge of the bench and pulling out her phone. “Whenever a villain shows up, someone’s bound to snap a pic!”

“That’s right!” Izuku shot up, bringing his phone out as well. “The hero forums are always swimming with pictures of recent attacks.”

“All you need to do is refine the search to ‘unknown’ or ‘sudden’ villains. That’ll mean less legwork for you clowns!”

Koichi blinked, “That’s clever.”

“The photo search or calling you clowns?”

Izuku’s cackle rang out, echoing in Koichi’s ears as he glared at the girl sitting next to him. The three of them nearly missed it when Knuckleduster shot up from his seat in pursuit of a new target.

“Hey! Stick your tongue!”

“Oh, not this again!!” Koichi ran out in front of Knuckleduster, coming to the newcomer’s defense. “C’mon man, this guy is clearly just your average salaryman! He’s not even bothering anyone!”

In his rush to save the seemingly innocent man from getting punched in the face, Koichi barely came to a stop before nearly running into the newcomer. In shock, the man dropped his briefcase, crying out when hero themed action figures came tumbling out.

“See! I told you the guy was fishy! What kind of adult carries around dolls in a briefcase!”

Izuku and Pop Step had just caught up, exchanging concerned and bewildered looks. The young boy pulled his mask over his face and bent down to help the man pick up the toys.

“I- I’m sorry! I work at a toy company, these are just prototypes.”

“See! Nothing suspicious about that! He’s just a hardworking guy!” Koichi’s voice rang out as he tried to push Knuckleduster back.

The elder vigilante wasn’t having it, however, and pushed forward to grab onto the man’s lapel. “That’s what I’m trying to prove! So cooperate, or else.” His free hand cocked back, gloved fingers positioned into a tight fist.

Before Knuckleduster’s fist could land a hit on the poor businessman, a white cloth wrapped itself around his arm, effectively preventing his attack. Knuckleduster grunted as his arm was pulled back, and his eyes narrowed at the figure behind him. Izuku gasped, eyes widened as he took in the hero before them.

“Violent acts in full view of the public… you’re hardly a model citizen.” A gruff voice, harsh from sleep deprivation, sounded out from behind the group. Pop Step and Koichi backed up behind Izuku and Knuckleduster, shocked looks on their faces. “You must be one of those instant villains of late.”

Knuckleduster guffawed, “Hey kid! Looks like it’s your lucky day, huh?”

The newcomer’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, locking on to the young boy who seemed to be hyperventilating out of excitement.

Izuku’s green eyes sparkled in delight, holding his hands up in hopes of proving he wasn’t a threat. “You’re the Erasure Hero: Eraserhead! You lead the underground in both villain captures and civilian rescues, but you never stay long enough to actually gain any credit! Your fighting style is incredible! I always wondered if your capture weapon worked in tandem with your quirk- your hair floats when you use it, yeah? Does it negate small amounts of gravity near you? That would explain why your scarf seems to deny the laws of physics!” His voice carried on, causing those around him to stop and stare.

“Did you know the kid was so…”

“I’ve never heard him speak more than necessary. This is definitely new.”

Eraserhead was the first to snap out of the trance, tightening his grip on his capture weapon as he lowered himself into a battle stance. “I’m not sure how you got such vital information- I work very hard to make sure there isn’t much coverage on my exploits.”

Izuku nodded, standing in place. “There are only two clips I was able to find- but I’ve been looking for you for some time now! We’re not here to cause trouble, promise!”

“Either way, I’m off duty today. Just being a good samaritan.”

Knuckleduster grinned, turning to face the hero fully. “So we got that in common.”

Koichi backed away further, hands high in the air. “No way does he think we’re villains, right?”

“Hey, hey! Don’t lump me in with these guys!” Pop Step jumped, using her quirk to land a few yards backwards.

There was a tense moment of silence before disaster struck. Izuku, sensing trouble out of the corner of his eye, cursed as Knuckleduster rushed towards Eraserhead. The hero, now fully prepared for battle, dropped the sack he was holding. Cat food and jelly pouches flew out of the bag, bursting open against the hard pavement. Knuckleduster chose to go high, fist ready and aimed for Eraserhead’s face.

Izuku sighed, ignoring the shouts from Koichi and Pop Step as he jumped into the fray.

Yeah… this is the most idiotic thing he’s ever done.