#should use this post as an excuse to do a personal vent in the tags

[sophieinwonderland]

What really gets my goat about some of this recent wave of anti-endo shit is when they're like "oh but what about when endos do bad things" because, surprise, having people being assholes to you isn't an experience that's unique to anti-endos. I have also – hm, let's take a more extreme example – been sent gore in my DMs. But I was sent gore for making a fucking positivity post. They are being sent gore for posting absolute dogshit hate, queerphobia, and more in inclusive tags as part of what is openly a harassment campaign. It's not that these people deserve it, don't get me wrong – but if their argument is "your side did bad things to me so I get to do bad things to you", then pro-endos would be justified in doing so much worse. We'd tell off anyone who sent gore to anti-endos, because that's just shitty, but at the same time, this whole argument is just another clear example of anti-endos looking for excuses to hurt others. Because when it happens to someone like me? Crickets. Not a word about how awful an act like that is. But when it happens to them? Ohhh, we can't have that, we better respond with fucking death threats in inclusive tags!

Like, it's awful. We can all agree it's awful. Nobody should be sent gore in their DMs. I don't think anyone here thinks this is a good thing. But I have been sent gore and I am not threatening to kill people or telling them to die. I have been sent gore and I am not going into anti-endo tags to tell them they are all shit people who are faking their disorders and trauma. This seems like a fucking skill issue. For every shit comment on my posts and every claim that I am faking and every asshole in my inbox, the most I have done is vent to people I trust and send one passive aggressive anon telling an anti-endo that if they really want to make a culture-is blog that doesn't use inclusive terms, they should probably not use a term coined and popularized by pro-endos in the name. (It was honestly half a genuine heads-up, and I only realized it sounded passive aggressive after sending it.) But these people think getting a fraction of the same shit they hurl our way every single fucking day means they're justified in fucking killing others??

Again. I get the rage these anti-endos are going through in response to these actions. I get it, because I personally experience it every time I have to see another hate anon in my inbox telling me to kill myself for being pro-endo, which is a depressingly common experience. Unfortunately! Being angry does not translate to being justified in your actions! This goes both for any pro-endos sending others gore, and for the anti-endos who think that being hated for hating others is somehow a crime against them. We can all agree no one should be sending anyone gore. Because that is shitty. But at the same time, it's a shitty thing their side started doing long before ours did. A shitty thing their side does in response to positivity posts, and a shitty thing ours does in response to open harassment campaigns in our tags. I am not one to say the intention outweighs the harm, but again, if that's their argument...

It feels a little like when a bigot gets punched and they respond with "See?! This is why I'm justified in treating you like shit!" when they only got hit because they were in the middle of violently beating that person up. Y'know?

All of this! Very well put! 👏

[lazyneonrabbitt]

One person asked you to and you said it was formatted automatically or something but you would try next time. Very just shrugging it off. Then you didn't try or the formatting didn't work on the next thing you posted. The context is people thought you were either bullshitting and the formatting excuse was a copout so you could keep clogging the tag, or you were telling the truth but just didn't care to check. That's why people didn't come to you. That's why people bitch on discord. They didn't see the point in speaking to you. That one person told you they had arthritis and your response was like who gives a fuck. You post a long post in the tags again.

The fact you had to go back and format all your fic could be construed as very telling. Maybe some people would accuse you of bullshitting. I've never heard of readmore being automatically applied. Long posts are not always cut off, but even then it's just courtesy to always manually apply readmore to long posts. Not every one does so as you know.

Maybe this is just a huge miscommunication thing. Whoever spoke to Murda was well intentioned but it was ill put. They should have spoken to you upfront even as it might have been a waste of time.

To the person worried about posting their writing, seriously, hold up a minute. When did it become about that. When did become about you, anon? Stop fishing for sympathy from a popular writer just to get attention. Nobody is bitching about fic where I am , it's about how it's presented in the tags. Nobody likes being confronted by a huge wall of text when browsing. We are only human and vent on discord. But we don't slag off the content of the fic. Because people don't use readmore we end up losing out on finding good writers and fic because the first impression is so so so bad.

Welcome, anon.

Long post, so readmore 🙃

First of all I do not "shrug off" the anons I get. If it sounded like that, it wasn't intentional.

And yes. 99% of the longer posts I see (me personally, in the app that I use on my samsung phone and iPad sometimes too) do have the app's "see more" button on longer posts.

I do, not joking in the slightest, forget. I forget half of the things I'm supposed to do in life because I have the worst memory ever and it bothers me in my daily life. At work, everywhere. (Not fishing for shit, just stating) and wtf I shouldn't even have to defend myself like this but here we are.

Also why would I clog tags?? I block people who's content I don't wanna see in tags or who spamtag. Wanna see my blocked tags and users? I'll post them for you.

"Maybe this is just a huge miscommunication thing." Please read rhe above statements.

I'm not adressing that anon further. It's not my place.

"Because the first impression is so so bad." Is one I can't wrap my head around. I scroll the tag casually and find cute fluff. I see angst and mayor character death, hell I've seen Dixon insest fics (Not hating, if the writing is good I applaud you for your works) so, where is the "bad first impression" coming from? My posts are not that frequent nor popular to be always at the top of the searches.

I'm running out of words.

[mirroringshards]

There’s a difference between participating in a kink between 2 consenting adults and posting about it publicly online to millions of nonconsenting people. Im sorry, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. If you post about it, people are allowed to tell you it’s weird or creepy or harmful. Keep that shit to yourself, being mentally ill is NOT an excuse to expose people to harmful or rough kinks online. And before you start whining, I have OCD and BPD. I Understand the struggle. But good fucking god. You are selfish and stupid if you think it’s okay to just shove upsetting shit in front of people and use ‘it’s just my kink!’ as an excuse. Grow up

"and god forbid a consenting adult be into rough kink because of trauma"

i never even said anything about "posting it online" in that post 💀 please point out where i said that. i said that two adults who are consenting are allowed to do what they want to do and other people shouldnt make that decision for them.

i also wasnt saying "dont think something is weird" because yeah youre allowed to think something is weird. i think ALOT of shit is weird. im saying stop bashing people for it. stop acting like people arent allowed to have preferences. stop acting like people arent allowed to LIKE something. stop consenting FOR another person.

im also saying alot of kink is CAUSED by trauma. i have shit and kinks that were heavily influenced by the fact that i was sa'd. people with trauma are likely to feel that way. not all of us end up sex repulsed alot of us end up hypersexual. and its something we cannot control, and, alot of people end up trying to act like we can or we should just stop being into something.

if you take a look at my blog you will realize i have never posted about kink. never posted about sex. have never even vented about the fact that im hypersexual online. so fym take responsibility for "my actions"?

and youre online. dont forget that. youre not in real life right now you have the ability to block people, block tags, you have the ability to filter your online experience. if you dont want to see that shit dont see that shit, nobody is holding you in front of the screen and forcing you to look at porn. you can click away.

i think you should grow up if you think people should pamper you and stop making content that they like because one [1] person is uncomfortable seeing it.

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

I mean this in the kindest way I can, what happened was you reblogged a post with #saveleon, for context saveleon was an account spreading racism, it was a shitshow for non-dark fic writers/readers who were south asian having to see all that. You reblogged it with the saveleon hashtag which could fully be un-intentional on your part, but you cannot honestly blame someone else for being triggered upon seeing the person spreading racism tags being reblogged Also to note the person who 'talked shit' did not put it in the tags, kept it private, and was not genuinely talking shit, it was a vent post once more not publically put in tags or anything, the same way you are allowed to vent about seeing FICTION you dislike, it should be reasonable for a woc to vocalize seeing people spread an account who was racist to them regardless of the fiction in question

Very simply, they don't really care about nor were attacking you specifically, there is just a long LONG history of this person repeatedly receiving racism and the #saveleon and @saveleon (old account got deactivated for hate speech) spreading that racism under the guise of 'calling them out' for dark fiction. I feel regardless of anyone differing opinions in regard to dark fiction,, we should all stray away from bringing race into the discussion, and the whole saveleon racist shit, just avoid using that account handle and I doubt they'll care to bother you at all

Yap yap yap

I used that fucking hashtag once.

In that post, after stumbling upon the account. I only ever saw that one post.

But this has absolutely nothing to do with that. It's actually not that fucking difficult of a concept.

Why are you trying to justify all of this????

Because she got sent racist hate by a person that was NOT ME??

I forgot how absolutely annoying tumblr is sometimes.

Excuse me while I go spend time with real people that have a brain.

[tightjeansjavi]

Hello,

First, I would like to state that I am still on a hiatus, but before I go, I wanted to make my peace on here.

I am deeply sorry for any SA survivors that I personally hurt/offended/triggered in any capacity by my venting. I did not have the intentions to diminish anyone’s feelings, or the fact that SA survivors use noncon/dub con to cope with their own trauma. I understand how it came across and while this is no excuse, my venting was purely based off of my own emotions. I was upset and hurt because it felt like my trauma was being romanticized and made out to be “hot.” “sexy.” While the fic itself upset me, it was the comments that truly effected me because it made me feel like my assault was sexy. Nothing about me being assaulted, on multiple counts, is sexy.

I recognize that I should have tagged my vent post appropriately. I truly did not know that I needed to do that until it was pointed out. I thought venting was just free rein and whether you choose to believe me or not, is completely up to you.

While I’m sure people will continue to call me a hypocrite, and send hate in my inbox, I truly would just like everyone to know that I’m sorry.

I normally do not let my triggers effect me in the way that they used to. Am I perfect? No. I have my good days, and bad days just like anyone else. I have been going to therapy for over two years and I am actively working through and processing my trauma. I also understand that I had every chance to not participate in reading that fic and I still decided to. I am holding myself accountable in that aspect.

If you choose to actively hate me, think I’m some terrible person for allowing my feelings/emotions to control my actions, I don’t have anything to say to you other than the fact that you are beating a dead horse.

At the end of the day, I am a real person behind the screen. As is everyone else. I am a human being and I make mistakes and hold myself accountable for them.

If you have read this entire post, processed it, and learned to forgive and understand where I am coming from, thank you.

Goodbye for now,

-Gi

[sirenvrse]

I changed the entire decor of this blog which I'm going to use as an excuse to introduce myself- my old username was @artsygreeen

You can call me Zodiac, Viri, z or whateverr

I go by all pronouns including any neos

★ This blog is going to have a lot of Looney tunes content (especiallyy bugs) !

For more info, check out my carrd!!

★ Asks are always open!! Pop in to say hi or anything you'd like, I love to listen :)

★ blog navigation (I'm still moving things into tags so bear with me!!);

# 🫧 sea; swallow me 🌊 - Things that relate to me personally (they can get a bit vent-y)

#🌕 ; moon's muse. - Other people's cool art!

#🎸: viri's vibes & whispers 📼 - posts I make that aren't related to lt. This includes personal anecdotes, random thoughts etc.

#bugs bunny - art related to bugs bunny, things that remind me of him etc.

The rest should be self explanatory,,

★ Before you go, make sure to get ur daily clicks in! Arab.org

Enjoy your stay here, do not hesitate to send asks and take care, ily <3

[mortal-cupid]

Some Ways To Emotionally Regulate Yourself

(Note That Everyone Is Different And Regulates Differently. You May Have A Way That Isn't On This Post Or Conventional But If It Works For You Then That's All That Matters)

!! Tip: Implementing Your Regulation Techniques Into Your Life Regularly Even When You Don't Need Them Can Help Them Feel More Natural And Comforting !!

⚠ First Steps ⚠ (Most Important Steps!)

The Very First Thing You Should Do Before You Regulate Is To Try To Get Yourself In As Safe Of A Situation As You Can, This Means A Safe Physical And Social Environment. IF This Cannot Be Readily Available, Do What You Can By Excusing Yourself Or Having A Reliable Person Around You To Help

Make Sure, If Possible/Safe, To Let Yourself Feel!! You Cannot Expect To Regulate Yourself If You Don't Give Yourself A Little Time To FEEL!! I Have Previous Posts On How To Safely Let Yourself Feel, I Do Not Mind Tagging Anyone In That Post Or Making A New One If Anyone Would Like/Need ♡

Some Physical Techniques:

Focusing On What Parts Of Your Body Are Holding The Bad/Stale Feelings And Getting Rid Of It (Imagining Yourself Taking The Feeling And Throwing It Away, Imagining It Turning Into Butterflies And Flying Away, Shaking The Energy Or Feelings Out Of You, Ect)

Stimming (Fidget Tools Can Be Useful But If They Are Not Available Or Helpful You Can: Rock In Place, Press Your Finger Pads Together, Palm Tracing, Slowly Going Through Each Part Of The Body And Releasing Tension In That Area)

Finding Something To Do With Your Hands Such As Coloring/Drawing, Sculpting Or Using Putty/Playdough, Fidgeting, Knitting/Crochet, Writing, Origami, Anything Safe That Keeps Your Hands Busy

There Are MANY Different Breathing Techniques, It May Take A Few Tries To See Which Ones Work For You, If You Decide To Use A Specific Technique, Sometimes Just Breathing On Your Own Without A Technique Is What You May Need.

Chewing On Gum Or "Chewlery" (chewable jewelry)

Tapping On Pressure Points Such As The Face, Hands, Feet, Thighs, And Shoulders

Some Other Techniques:

Grounding Techniques Such As Naming Things You Smell Or Finding Things That Are The Same Color Or Counting Things In Your Surroundings

Mindfully Eating Or Drinking A Safe Food/Drink Or Eating/Drinking Something That Has An Interesting Flavorful That You Can Focus On

Isolation May Help You Regulate And Is A Perfectly Valid Technique When Not Overdone, Be Sure To Communicate In Some Way With Those Who May Need Be Aware Of Your Isolation And Be Sure Not To Overly Rely On Isolation As It May Not Always Be An Option. You Should Always Have Backup Techniques, Especially In An Emergency Situation

Focusing On Or Stimulating Your Senses (Visual: Watching Something, Auditory: Listening To Music Or Specific Sounds, Touch: Stimming Or Using A Textured Sensory Tool, Ect)

Venting (IF/WHEN SAFE TO) Venting Your Emotions Verbally Can Be Very Useful But Has The Potential To Be Harmful If You Are Not Safe. Be Sure That You Are Safe With Whoever You Vent To And That They Are Willing To Be Vented To. If You Are Not Safe To Vent Verbally/Through Text Then Vent To Yourself, A Journal, On An Anonymous Site Or A Site Like "Scream Into The Void", Tell Your Stuffed Animals Or Toys, Your Pets, The Sky, Anything That Will Listen!

( With Love, Cupid ♡ )

[cometchasinglove]

I hope you're happy with the pain and suffering you have caused. I have known Freckly for YEARS, I've gotten to spend a week with her in person and share space and time together, and she has always been kind and honest and sweet. I've seen her go through 2 relationships that ended badly, and you still left her the worst, and yet still you are letting people attack her character. All you had to do was block her, tell your friends to block her, and respect her wish to keep your comissions private. Thats it. All her vent posts are tagged. She is allowed to be angry. There is a difference between feeling rage and making a threat. People are allowed to have extreme emotions. You should know, you blamed every single awful thing you said and did on being Bipolar. Other people have reached out to her telling Freckly you've done the same thing to them.

Also, Freckly isn't trying to lay claim to Starscream, but she feels she's lost him, that he was taken from HER. And you told her you SAID you didn't have feelings for starscream but you were lying. She said she was happy to share but for some reason you still just lied to her. She's also told me about the art you got. The things you've said. Just leave her alone and tell your friends to do the same. And maybe try and keep your promise about keeping your comissions private, just let artists send them to you, like you *promised*.

Just because you're nice to some people doesn't mean you werent awful to others. Thats actually a common abuser tactic so-

Just leave her alone and let her move on. If she could catch a break from you and the people talking to her about you, she'd be able to move on and stop talking about it. She left a website she adored and had friends on for 8 months because of you. Give her peace. I'm only saying something now because your partner is slandering her. Tell them being kind to one person doesnt mean you arent capable of hurting others. Where's the proof Keri did anything to you?

You probably didnt even read all this, and theres an even smaller chance you answer. If you did, I hope you grow and better yourself. I hope you get it together. And just leave her alone so she can get past this.

Hello, anon. No, I am not happy with the pain and suffering which I caused. However, I am not responsible for her feelings.

I am aware that I did wrong things. I apologized for them, never did them again, and I intend to move on from this horrific fallout.

Attack her character? Anon, she is the one who decided to publicly demonize me in front of her thousands of followers.

She is not venting. She is absolutely making threats against me. I can understand feeling rage, but death threats are never acceptable.

Anon, it’s bpd. Not bipolar. I didn’t use it as an excuse and I even mentioned that to her. It is an explanation and I realized my mistakes and I am constantly trying to better myself. I apologized and I want to move on.

Anon, you cannot rip a fictional character away from someone when they were never ours to begin with. I apologize for lying to her, but I did want to preserve her feelings because I know how attached she is to this character.

Anon, I don’t owe her anything. I tag my commissions properly and I even ask artists to do the same, but I owe her nothing. Likewise, she doesn’t owe me anything, either.

Where’s the proof that I intentionally abused her? Where’s me convincing her that Starscream wouldn’t love her?

If she really wanted to move on, she wouldn’t make death threats directed towards me.

As for my partner, she is responding to her claims, especially when she called for my death.

Anon, did you ever stop to think that I am suffering as well? I cannot eat. I cannot physically eat as much as I am suppose to because ever since she made her “vent” post, I have been unable to eat like a normal, functioning human being. That is not her fault. But I cannot help that I react this way. It is something that I must heal from on my own, much like herself.

I agree. I want to move on, but she has to be willing to as well. I hope that she seeks help and feels better.

[natsmagi]

I'm sorry but you're wrong. you are wrong. proship is not just "an excuse to draw pedophilic and incestuous things." people have been doing it WITHOUT excuses since the beginning of fandom. some people create those things to process their trauma. of course it might be triggering to some people, but that's why it's tagged and stamped with warnings. so people can avoid it. kids and teenagers can be groomed with literally any media. anything. doesn't matter what it is. kids can be groomed with bluey as easily as with art of underage genshin characters or whatever. what I see as much more dangerous is the idea that there are things that can and should never be explored in fiction, that somehow it's still gross to engage in those things in a space where literally no real human beings are harmed. that's some evangelical thoughtcrime shit and I am not here for it.

I appreciate you saying you would never harass anyone over it, because you'd think that would be the bare minimum, but these days apparently it's not. and on what you said about "you shouldn't have to label yourself proship when you're just anti harrassment" yeah. I agree with that. but you kind of DO have to label yourself that way, because apparently doxxing is just a normal thing people do now and teenagers are getting the idea that harrassment is "righteous" if done to these specific kinds of "bad" people, often minorities and especially queer people.

I'm not saying you have to personally be comfortable with those kinds of content. it is totally understandable to want to avoid them entirely. but I would ask you, what percentage of people who enjoy those things would ever even CONSIDER bringing them into real life? I can pretty much guarantee you that the real percentage is incredibly small, and the proship community is NOT accepting to people who perpetuate real harm against real human beings.

idk. i don't mean to come off as hostile, it just really bothers me that it's come to this. there's nothing wrong with creating content that makes people uncomfortable. and let's just say it's not a coincidence that the people who are vehemently against it are using nazi dogwhistles.

oh jesus okay. i hear what youre saying and i do want to take your words to heart, so ill be trying to be as indepth with this as i can be

quickly though before we start i wanna comment on your last paragraph; the person who sent the ask later sent me a dm and we talked things over so both of us could get a better grasp of the situation. the person is a minor, and while i dont know how old they are, i do genuinely believe that this was an honest mistake on their part. they messaged me out of the kindness of their heart, and while maybe theyre slightly misguided in some areas, i think it is only right to treat each individual with respect and try to educate them when they perpetuate something harmful, especially when theyre young

ok, now lets go over this point by point

"some people create those things to process their trauma." yes! i am well aware of that, and i would never be against people creating vent art of the situations that traumatized them. my issue comes with posting it online for people who are genuinely into that sort of thing to see. maybe its just me but i personally wouldnt want to risk people getting off to my trauma, especially when ive now visualized it in such a personal way. if anything thatd be re-traumatizing for me. i dont see the point in having it so publicly available for anyone to see

"of course it might be triggering to some people, but that's why it's tagged and stamped with warnings. so people can avoid it." which is good! and i think it would be deeply unwise of someone who is uncomfortable with these topics to seek them out and engage with it. if triggering content is being made and it makes you uncomfortable its better to just leave it be and move on. that said; that doesnt make it any less upsetting to see, especially when its prominent. and people should be allowed to state that they still dont support it, just maybe dont harass the creator because of it

"what I see as much more dangerous is the idea that there are things that can and should never be explored in fiction, that somehow it's still gross to engage in those things in a space where literally no real human beings are harmed." in my post didnt i mention that i think dark topics should be explored too? maybe i phrased it poorly but yes i agree with this point. i do not think you or anyone else should be shamed for consuming dark media, even if it consists of fucked up topics like what tends to be the focus of proshipping. the thing is though; these topics need to be handled tastefully. they need to be handled with respect and empathy for the victims, or else itll just feel pornographic. if youre just writing detailed smut about a grown man with a child, what is it we're exploring? is it gonna go into the psychological effects that would leave on the child? was the amount of detail in the smut necessary? was the smut ever truly necessary to get the point of sexual assault across? all these things should be considered when dealing with these topics, because again, theyre VERY HEAVY and should be treated as such

"apparently doxxing is just a normal thing people do now and teenagers are getting the idea that harrassment is "righteous" if done to these specific kinds of "bad" people, often minorities and especially queer people." yes, it is a very unfortunate thing. this is not something i can defend. i can however shed some light on different sides to this though. most often these kids arent doing much more than hitting you with a mean jokey qrt, while only a small portion actually go out of their way to full-on harrass someone. neither of course is okay, but lets not act like this is something only these teens engage in. i have seen many proshippers go out of their way to leave comments on teens posts where they whine about proshipping about how theyre wrong and horrible people for thinking such things, sometimes even spamming them just to try and get a response so they can dunk on them with some Sick Own, as if theyre not arguing with literal kids online. no side is in the clear on this, so lets not act like one is holier than the other

"what percentage of people who enjoy those things would ever even CONSIDER bringing them into real life?" i dont doubt many proshippers wouldnt bring these fictional fantasies into the real world, what scares me is the audience it may attract. i.e. pedophiles and the like. you and your proshipper friends might be lovely people who would never even think of committing these crimes, but what about the silent onlookers? the percentage that actually WOULD consider it? the margain may be small, but should we not try eliminating it to the best of our abilities? now, you could argue that it is not your responsibility nor within your power who consumes your content, and id have to agree with that. but from a personal standpoint thats just not something i can get behind. maybe its my paranoia talking, but since the probability is still there its not something i can bring myself to support. you mentioned earlier that kids can be groomed by anything, and thats true. but my fear lies less with kids stumbling upon the content, and moreso actual pedos finding content to get off on and a safe space to discuss these fantasies, although having it be about fictional characters rather than real kids. yes, they will always find a way if theyre sick enough, but thats why i want it to at least be explicitly known that pedophilia is not respected and you will be shunned for it. so even if proshippers dont actually support it, i fear it gives pedophiles a place to indulge in their fantasies (and for even more claritys sake; i am not calling proshippers pedos)

"there's nothing wrong with creating content that makes people uncomfortable." i agree with you!! its okay to make content that makes people uncomfortable, theres art in that. art can be expressed in so many forms, and sometimes the intent IS to make the audience uncomfortable. but like ive stated; with these things you really have to handle it with utmost care. and i dont think the intent with this type of content tends to be to make the audience uncomfortable either? all i often tend to really see is people talking about how hot they find it, and i dont think that should be the takeaway from topics like this. again; its all about intent.

"and let's just say it's not a coincidence that the people who are vehemently against it are using nazi dogwhistles." but isnt preaching "theyre trying to take our freedom away!!" a right-wing dogwhistle too ?? the constant fearmongering i see in the proshipping community is concerning. making up stories just to make the other side look bad, claiming theyre silencing you, is this not what the right does??? why do i see it so often from the proshipping community???? again, both sides have faults. can we please stop acting like one is better than the other??? i frankly want no part in this discourse.

to finish this off though, i am sorry anon. i never want my account to feel like a place where people cant express themselves and be who they are. but i do still have my own morals and views. i have my own ideals, and i have my own principles. i do not identify with either anti or proship, its just the dangers of proshipping scares me more than the dangers of antis. of course both can get bad. my point was never to argue in favor of the other side, my point was only ever to let it be known that i dont condone proshipping. that is all

if i misrepresented your community im sorry. i am only one guy at the end of the day and theres only so much i can know on these topics while also only being 19 years old. theres much i dont know, so thats why im always willing to learn. but no matter how hard i try the fear of giving pedophiles a place in a community terrifies me. the mere thought is enough to make me scared for those younger than me out there.

it was never my intention to dictate how one should or should not consume media. you are free to do as you wish, i have no authority over you, these are just my reasons as to why it isnt something that i can support.

thank you though for taking your time to write to me. i hope ive made my stance clearer and have it known that i dont mean any malice. im just so deeply scared of more children getting harmed due to personal reasons and its genuinely bringing me to tears. thank you again

[miatring]

Some thoughts

Okay so I literally never write text-posts on here (or anywhere really) I just post fanart, re-blog other people's shit and barely interact with anyone. Mostly because there's just not many things I feel like I need to give my opinion on when others have done so much better and more eloquently than I have.... that being said

And shouting out the amazing (@girlgerard) here because he's made some excellent fucking points (feel free to ignore this if you see it Mira because holy shit you deserve a fucking break)

Us white MCR fans really need to start pulling our fucking weight when it comes to calling out racism in the fandom. And that doesn't mean waiting until you see a post from a POC fan and writing something in the tags. It means actively listening and taking on board what they're saying and looking at your own behaviour and how you can do better. I can only speak for myself when I say that I have been a mcr fan since 2006/2007 but I've never been really active in the fandom so I saw a LOT of shit from back then, that I'll be honest, I just straight up didn't understand. I'm Australian and we have a slightly different, arguably more subtle breed of racism here and a lot of it mirrors the shit that was (and still is) targeted at ray. 

Most of it is not explicit "oh ew a brown person" (unless you're talking to a good majority of the 50/60+ population here- in which case HOOO BOYY STRAP IN FOR SOME FUCKED SHIT) but a lot of it is more backhanded and "jokey". This comes into play when we talk about the "princess fro-fro" shit from back in the day. Which again I'll admit, I didn't see as "all that bad" but I also didn't find it that hilarious either- I was kind of just indifferent to it (I was also like 12 years old so I just didn't GET a lot of stuff). But hey I grew up, and I realised that that shit isn't funny, it was never funny. There is no excuse to exclude ray when talking about/drawing/filming/photographing the band. When you say you "don't find him as interesting/attractive" you need to think about why that is. Because ray toro is an equal and integral part of this band that we love. He's a fucking genius and a total sweetheart and deserves just as much (if not more) hype than the others.

While I'm at it I just want to take a moment to say how fucking excited I was to see so many POC fans making content and being visible in this fandom. While I know for sure that they've always been around- being from Australia, not having any friends who were really into mcr at the time and not actively engaging with fandom (plus the fact that so many of us early 2000s internet users posted rarely photos of ourselves in fandom spaces- whereas now we have tik tok ect.) I just don't recall seeing many black and brown faces in the fandom. So I just think it's so fucking cool that these kids are here and I think that we- especially us older, white fans- should be supporting them as much as we can.

At the end of the day I'm just one person with essentially 0 following so this might not make much of a difference but I just couldn't NOT say anything... because at the end of the day it should be on us to make the fandom feel as welcoming and supportive as possible because at the end of the day MCR is home to so many of us and it should be a safe place for everyone to come to where they feel like they can be fully authentic to who they are (and shock horror! That includes valuing and respecting the voices of POC).

Anyways I don't want to take up any more space than I already have, apologies to Mira for tagging him in this coz I know he's (rightfully) sick of dealing with it but I wanted to give credit where credits due 😅

If there's any black and brown fans that happen to see this just know that I see you, I love you, and I'm sorry for not being here sooner. My inbox is always open if you need a buddy or just someone to vent to 🖤

[darkanddirtyknb]

PERSONAL

I hope I'm not bothering anyone by posting about my personal life. I know it can be kind of annoying when the owner of a blog keeps rambling on about their personal problems. But writing is the only way I know how to let out my emotions. So please excuse me if this upsets you, but I need to say this because today has been a really hard day for me. I’m putting this under a cut just to spare any sensitivities. Trigger warnings are listed in the tags. 

When I was a child, my father was abusive. He was what people would call a “dry drunk” after he got sober. Arguably, he was meaner because he didn't have the alcohol to 'take the edge off'. I grew up in a turbulent environment. My mom was very meek and quiet, afraid of disturbing the waters, if you will. I held a lot of resentment toward her as I got older. All I ever wanted when I was younger was for them to separate. I wanted her to leave, but she never did. I was raised being treated like nothing I did was ever good enough. I was called stupid, useless, a waste. My father was not a nice man. He would throw things at us (myself, my brother, and my mom), scream until his face turned purple, his veins bulged, and spit flew from his mouth. He would punch things. Break things with objects. If I detailed every memory of him that caused me some kind of trauma, the list would be endless. He's part of the reason my brother committed suicide. Yes, he had his own demons, but his relationship with my father was a large part of his unhappiness. As I aged, however, my dad grew up. He changed. He tried to better himself. He would still have his times—times when he slipped up. He was still a jerk, but he was nicer about it. To be in my position, this was like day and night. We were able to get along. I would actually approach him. I didn't get sick to my stomach every time I had to be alone with him. I started to enjoy his company. Today, for the first time in years, I experienced my childhood all over again. It was like a fucking war flashback, and I don't say that lightly. Long story short, I was helping him, and because things didn't go right, he took it out on me. It's been so long since this has happened that it really caught me off guard. I'm now sitting here with a laceration on my back, and my hands are shaking as I type this. I haven't felt like this for so long that I don't know how to digest it. My girlfriend said it the best: it's devastating when things get better and then in an instant, it's fucking shattered. I know that everyone's lives have ups and downs, but I just thought that things were different now. I've been going through my own shit for so long that I forgot what it was like having to deal with this, too. And with Christ as my witness, I sure didn't miss it. If you read this, thanks for taking the time to do so. There's nothing anyone can do to help me, nor do I expect it. I just needed to vent. I might be late posting the new story because I need to take some time for myself right now. I need to get through this moment of PTSD. When I feel like I can pull myself together, I'll get back to work. But I do want to say this: for anyone who has ever gone through situations similar to this, I deeply apologize. No one should have to experience this. Not ever.

[something-named-vexxie]

"Just finished crying, have decided I won’t let a stranger that knows nothing about me or the way I process things make me cry again ☝️

Yall will NEVER be playing with me its over 😈

#i say this and its bouta happen again just watch lmao#fuckin bullies bruh i should be immune to yall by now#9-10 years and not being used to it is insane!!!#this is a vent post#please ignore this"

i really dont think this is the right takeaway to have. you went to a post about jazz music, which was pioneered by black people, just to talk about a pop song made white people. its like trying to buy clothes at the soup store. imagine talking about rock music and someone mentions bach in the notes. a song wont be considered jazz Just because it uses a saxophone. theres more that goes into genre categorization. like a guitar or bass wont make something automatically a rock song obviously, no one deserves to get bullied and im sorry you cried and felt any sort of stress for what happened. but i dont think "fuck them haters" is the right takeaway to have in this specific situation. what happened was you missing the point of what OP said OP responded with "you dont have to interact with this post if youre going to say that." thats mild criticism, not bullying a better takeaway would be "oh, looks like i dont understand what jazz music is. i could do some research and listen to actual jazz music to get a better understanding." bc youd be learning from a mistake youve made. instead of something that sounds defensive as "wow OP knows NOTHING about me." i have RSD (a symptom of adhd), so criticism can be a tough pill to swallow sometimes. but learning to accept it will let you grow into a better person. if you want to listen to some jazz artists, i recommend ray charles, cab calloway, louis armstrong, ella fitzgerald, lena horne, billie holliday, dizzy gillespie, miles davis, and john coltrane. i hope you have a nice rest of the day :)

Oh shit my bad, thank you for this information, i didnt know it had anything to do with race. I see why it came across as offensive, I’m sorry about that

I still feel like OP could’ve been a bit nicer instead of just telling me to “Get a grip” with no further explanation. I could’ve probably thought it through and made a rational response, but I can’t do that most of the time, so I just assumed the quote I used was somehow secretly really rude when I was just trying to agree while apologizing for not knowing shit in the tags (and I was right on accident unfortunately, I’m sorry)

I was trying to figure out what was wrong but didn’t get anywhere, so I kinda dumbed it down to pure bitchery and put it with the other stuff I’ve dealt with and that’s on me. (I’m not gonna use any of this as an excuse, but I’d also like to say that specific post I made wasn’t specifically about OP, it was mostly a general thing I decided after reflecting for a bit that understandably looks bad with only 1 of 50 contexts, sorry)

Shoutout to whoever this observant anon is, I would’ve been up all night for years trying to figure out what I did wrong! Sorry about that jazzy OP. And I will happily check out those artists, thank you <3

Have a delectably nutriocios rest of your day too, sorry if my initial post made you uncomfortable or mad ^^

[cupidzgf]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 𝗥𝗨𝗟𝗘𝗦

i am going to make this as simple and easy as possible. if we can all follow these basic boundaries and rules, then this can be a fun place!

first and foremost, minors. i do not mind if minors interact with my non nsfw posts. they will be tagged that way, and warnings will always be there to let you know if it's safe or not. (if the post is spicy but not full smut, it counts as NSFW, sorry!)

however, do not expect the same treatment for NSFW works. if i see ageless/minor blogs interacting with my smut, reblogged smut, or anything NSFW, i'm blocking you. i have warnings on every post, and by now, you should have seen it on enough of nsfw posts to know that minors aren't allowed. you should know better by this point. no excuses.

(also, i curse on this blog. i never met anyone who had a problem with it, but just in case you don't like it, don't follow)

I may write about mature or heavy topics such as alcohol, drugs, smoking, mental health, etc... please read the warnings and use your discretion. i would recommend that only adults read it, but ultimately, it's your choice. please don't blame me.

i don't tolerate any form of hate or violence. whether it be disrespect, racism, misogyny, islamophobia, homophobia, or zionism, none of it is allowed on this page, and you will be blocked and, depending on the severity, reported. 

do not by any means bring up topics such as rape, pedophilia, incest, etc...(you get the picture). 

i may write about mental health issues, but that does not mean i want discussions about it. tagging, sending, or texting in my inbox about big trigger topics like suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, and intrusive thoughts will get you blocked without a second thought. 

politics and religion, personal questions, or venting are not permitted in my inbox. 

because this is a secondary blog, i can not be your mutual. sorry.

i do post or reblog spoilers but i will tag them as such!

on a lighter note, i very much enjoy interaction. tumblr is an incredible space to make friends in a community of your favorite interests, so please don't be afraid to talk!!!

WRITING RULES 

right now requests are open. thirsts are welcome, and if i'm feeling it, i may write something for it, but please don't expect it

my writing is mainly directed toward female or afab readers. I will occasionally do gender-neutral. 

i perfer not to write the reader with a specific race, religion, disorder, etc...

i may and will write for characters who are minors, but i will never age them up to write smut about them, so please don't ask. 

i don't write about any hate, daddy kink, scat, vomiting, hard bdsm, vore, feet, gore involved in sex (no blood at all), noncon, incest, pedophilia, piss, raceplay, ageplay, sado-masochism, gunplay, (ill add when i think of more. a rule of thumb if your wondering whether or not to send it, if it's hardcore or involves some form of violence i probably wouldn't send it!) 

if you don't see me currently talking about a fandom, then i am probably not a part of it and have no interest in writing it. 

please remember that i have a hectic life outside of tumblr and i have had requests take months before. patience is all i ask of you. if i can't get to it or for whatever reason can't do it i will pm you or if you're an anon, post it on my blog so you know and can ask another writer if you want.  

this brings me to my next point: don't send the same request to multiple blogs. i've had it happen before. it's shitty. don't do it. 

PROCEEDING FROM THIS POINT YOU HAVE AGREED TO MY RULES AND CONDITIONS. DISRESPECT OR DISREGARD OF MY RULES, WHICH YOU HAVE AGREED TO BY CONTINUING ONTO MY BLOG, WILL RESULT IN ME TAKING NECESSARY ACTION. IF YOU DON'T AGREE, DON'T FOLLOW. 

thank you, guys for all of your love and support. you're amazing. have a great day, lovelies!!! 💗

NOW THAT YOU'VE READ THIS, ENJOY! ⇢ m.list

[myonlypen]

One thing that really, really frustrates in discourse around incels is the way the word itself gets used.

There are two definitions that get used interchangeably, depending on how it helps people's argument. #1) the original and literal definition, which simply means someone who wishes they could have sex, but can't get any. #2) referring specifically to those in the toxic community who blame women and some even go so far as to become violent about it.

The problem is, I constantly see people act that because of definition #2 anyone who the word "incel" can apply to a is bad person, and it is therefore okay to bully them. But they often bully people who fit definition #1 but not #2, and if you call them out on it they will say "why are you defending misogynists?"

This is why the head of this post is linking to an explanation of the Motte and Bailey Fallacy. This is what they are doing.

It gets even more frustrating when there's an actual discussion going on about what to do about the rise in the number of incels (#2). Someone might suggest that they aren't born misogynist and they become radicalised, there should be an intervention before they go down the rabbit hole of sexism. Then I see replies exhibiting existentialist thinking, suggesting that because they would have become an incel (#2) had there not been intervention, then they are a bad person anyway. So they shouldn't be helped as they don't deserve it. I see other replies lambasting people suggesting that emotionally vulnerable young men (#1) be helped in this way because how dare you show sympathy towards incels (#2).

Then there's other people who don't seem to understand why incels (#2) are bad in the first place. They just know that they are because they have been told they are. So instead of saying that they're bad because of their attitudes towards women, they list reasons why someone might not have a successful love life and act like those are coequal reasons with misogyny for why they are bad. Bad social skills, being uninteresting, poor personal grooming, esoteric hobbies, etc. Congratulations: you've invented a new excuse to stigmatise neurodivergent people.

So much discourse around incels (#2) calls them "losers", but it's not the misogyny that gets them called losers, it's the fact that they're incels (#1) in the first place. Then people are surprised that incels (#2) think they're entire self-worth is based on the fact that they don't get sex, when even their critics suggest that that is true? And in doing so you're making incels (#1, but not #2) feel bad about themselves. You know that thing of "don't attack someone you don't like for the way they look because that lets anyone who looks similar know that you think they're ugly"? Yeah, similar logic here. If you don't like incels (#2) because of their misogyny and think that justifies calling them losers for being incels (#1) then you're implicitly signalling to incels (#1, but not #2) that they should feel bad about themselves, even though they haven't done anything wrong.

This isn't me making up things people have said and getting mad about it, by the way. Almost all of my posts in my "discourse on social media makes my blood boil tag" tag are a response to me seeing frustrating takes (usually on twitter or reddit) and wanting to vent about it.

[tuiyla]

Such interesting thoughts in asks damn you guys are smart

I'll get to them tomorrow sorry I couldn't continue all the recent topics today

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

This is a bit of a long rambly mess, but I just to vent somewhere! When I was at first getting annoyed at JC’s depictions, I thought fanon JC was painted as similar Mu Qing, right down to JC being given MQ’s secret care for children. But I then realized that even that comparison was inaccurate.

Even MQ apologizes (more than once across the story!), says that XL was right, and says he wants to be his friend. And if JC did that in most fics, that would at least be fine. But fans don’t even do the courtesy of giving JC that arc! Instead, it’s always JC being right -- whether about the GC transfer, or he’s suddenly become a person who’s willing to help the Wens and WWX is just a stupid idiot for doing it on his own -- and WWX has to admit that JC was right.

And where MQ becomes more comfortable with the fact that he used to be a servant, accepting and overcoming the insecurities, JC’s arc in fic could be learning to overcome his insecurities that WWX is better than him at many things even despite their class differences. But no, fanon JC has to be AMAZING at something, or even SEVERAL things, SO much BETTER at them than poor stupid WWX. That’s the BEST solution for Yunmeng bros reconciliation, obviously.

At this point, I honestly wish JC was actually given MQ’s character arc in more fics, because at least he could be said to have one, and not just have always been a perfect person, best brother, best jiujiu, bestest sect leader. Ugh.

It kind of feels like another side of purity culture from the people who should be against it. If JC and WWX reconcile,if JC loves WWX, then JC can’t have ever been a bad brother. Instead, it’s Wei Wuxian who has been the bad brother (the character who’s more easy to change since he a) has already gone through this characterization in all versions of the canon, so his development can be reversed for the fic and brought back up to speed by the end, and b) has actually had character growth, unlike JC, so it’s easier to write that growth). It’s Wei Wuxian who needs to change to match where JC is at. It’s fine if the “bad brother” is the character who tried to do good, but fucked it up because he “doesn’t know how to ask for help!” or “is too stupid to know other people care!” or whatever other excuse. That’s easy to fix! But it’s not fine when it’s the character who never really cared about people outside of his sect and is terribly low on empathy/mercy/compassion/caring. JC has to have been secretly good all along! He loves his brother, so obviously he never did anything terrible to him! Or to other people in the name of hating him! Love cannot be unhealthy or messy or crystalized over by and wrapped up in hate!

(I mean, if we’re comparing characters to JC, Severus Snape also has an unpleasant personality yet was actually revealed to not have been evil all along, and the discourse around him is more interesting than the stuff surrounding JC. It’s still often stupid discourse, but at least it’s based on evidence from the text and not a made up secret narrative where JC hasn’t been a bad person this whole time so fans can just make up whatever characterization they want.)

Instead of dealing with JC’s and WWX’s canon relationship and trying to find a way forward from where they left off in Guanyin Temple (if they’re ignoring the extras in MDZS, or going off CQL), fanon JC is just retroactively made into having always been a good person to justify the ease of their reconciliation.

And as someone who loves delving into fictional complex, complicated, messy, ugly relationships, I find it so...bland, boring, childish, and exhausting.

"As someone who loves delving into fictional complex, complicated, messy, ugly relationships, I find it so...bland, boring, childish, and exhausting."

Hello there anon, the above as well as what you said about reversing Wei Wuxian's character to be on par with how awful Jiang Cheng was to him is especially resonating. As a person Jiang Cheng himself for all intents was considered at least above average from the normal cultivators.

Yet his downfall always relied on his hate of Wei Wuxian (as a person, in talent, socially) it is a core part of his character that is woven into the work itself and the catalyst for Wei Wuxian's death itself. Jiang Cheng if anything, is coldly upfront on just why he refuses to help Wei Wuxian out of his predicament as well as framing Wei Wuxian. The text itself says he puts little fight in pretending to even speak for Wei Wuxian's behalf when Jin Guangshan begins to sully him and conspire about him wanting to be a sect leader. He is meant to be the complete contrast in Lan Wangji and Mianmian trying to speak for his good-will, in fact he contradicts this by saying that Wei Wuxian has always been tiresomely reckless and uncontrollable, something that holds little truth as Wei Wuxian worked in trust for Yunmeng Jiang's benefit for years. Their actions simply are not of comparable fault and the end of the work (in the least the novel) makes this message clear. Jiang Cheng, as a character, like MXTX said is a product of following what his environment made him as well as him putting no fight on his end to amend that to be better and learn. Love is very complicatedly explored in this work in all it's ways and that's what is very beautiful about it. It does not shy away from the forms it manifests in. Including Jiang Cheng's who at the base of it, the rivalry there was as much one-sided as Shu She's for Lan Wangji, the layers of irony are the best part of the novel for each of it's characters.

As for fandom. I do think a lot of it is petty stupid discourse (oh and I have never said I am particularly immune to it, I am far too sarcastic for my own good and have a bit of a loud mouth when I see something particularly ridiculous for this fandom and I do not know when to shut up my filter). But, so much of it is coated within personal resonance towards certain characters which leads to feeling personally hurt, especially when the block features exist on this site. Multiple tags have been implemented to block for this exact purpose, yet their comes the takes that you can not use these sarcastic tags that are blockable because "it's not the right ones". Fandom is ever shifting and as such it is curated as much as you want it to be. Being ordered to not use these tags or to avoid posting all together is a moot point as well as demanding others to read how you want them to, even when the work textually supports or does not certain interpretations. As lovely as the thought is that "all interpretations are valid", logically it does not work quite so well when you attempt to push that on so many others with little helpful evidence other than flimsy fanon popularity (Ron the Death Eater And Draco in Leather pants are infamous fandom tropes that are despised for reasons). JC is not a case of questionable good for selfish reasons as in the comparison to Snape, he is simply a show of selfishness who has an ambiguous opening to do better, in terms of those in the future. Too much clout though is put on that idea when the work itself is not shy to say real good, kind, supportive people are hard to come by.