#people on tumblr are way smarter than the writers ever were

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

hi! This is an idea I had for a while but I'd like to give it to you cause I think it's up your ally. There's this movie called Lucy from 2014 it's basic plot is that this women Lucy accidentaly has a drug realease in her body(they put a bag of drugs inside her to smugle abroad) that starts to unlock her brains capacity that causes her to gain huge amounts of knowlage and abilities. When she reaches 100% she sport of becomes a higher dimensional being. The idea is that something like this happens to an OC but instead of it being cause by drugs maybe by energon + electricity, or some accident and that the changed is a bit slower.

The cons and bots having to deal with a human who is smarter and inching closer to omnipotence :3

I like your brain. <3

So sorry it took me so long to finally finish this and post it. I did actually end up watching that movie while writing this and dang it was interesting to watch. I enjoyed the weirdness immensely.

I've cross-posted this short story on both Tumblr and my AO3 account feel free to check that out here if you have an account and maybe leave a comment (feels weird to ask, but it means so much as a writer)

WARNINGS for; Violence, slow descent into insanity, depression, existential crisis, Energon consumption by any means necessary, fourth wall break, my first Dead Dove!

Sometimes, the most sinister revelations, start with a simple act of stupidity.

M.E.C.H. was rooted in pockets all over the globe. Some descended deep into the depths of the criminal underground and black markets, others perched on the edge of shadows, collecting payments from patrons who hid behind the glare of the light. Cash moved quickly, bills changing almost as much as locations and projects.

Here, in a broken-down old building, isolated and forgotten, in the far corners of a shipyard that hadn’t seen any business in more than a decade, an agent oversaw the last pieces of such a change. 

It was the quiet, the abandoned, the wasted scraps of a world that had grown complacent and was so valuable to their organization. Sites like these, people like this, that was where M.E.C.H. had poured their foundations. In the treasure, the complacent had mistaken for trash.

Yet, that seemed to be changing.

M.E.C.H.’s numbers had been steadily declining for a few years now, concerning not in the numbers of deserters, but an ever-present statistical line that refused to straighten out. People were antsy and wanted action. Soldier’s bloodlust and scientists unused to the fickle lifestyle on the run. Silas had finally yielded and given the people the action they wanted. Their leader had finally revealed their presence to a government gone soft.

The line of deserters had ended. But the pitfall of deaths had not gone unnoticed.

It was the way of war. Pawns falling to support their queen, to guide their king. In this they had a purpose, their names would be remembered as the brave souls to usher in a new era, to pull this nation ahead of the new world order.

Maintaining supremacy was not for the faint-hearted. Nor for the spineless.

Agent 13 was a prize pawn. A soldier that obeyed, who fulfilled the mission objective at all costs, and, who truly believed, this was all for the best.

The warehouse was almost empty now. Located in a more derelict area of Long Beach, California, this site wasn’t particularly important. It served mostly as a shipping location or assembly zone for some of the more hazardous technical gear. Now that the labs had been deconstructed and the personnel evacuated, the gaping interior seemed almost pitiful. It was only Agent 13 present at the moment, here to personally collect one last piece of merchandise before joining the egress and making the four-hour-long trip to a new base in Nevada. There, they’d personally join Silas and aid in Project: Chimera.

It was not Agent 13’s business to question the wisdom of pooling all resources and personnel into a single location. Just as it was not his right to judge the immediate halt of all other projects as wasteful, or a concerning hint of the rumored obsession that had been whispered through masked mouths.

It was not Agent 13’s place at all.

His place was here, loading the cheap wooden crate into the back of the olive green sports car.

Another budget decision that wasn’t 13’s place to judge.

Driving with practiced ease speeds not too slow but not too fast, Agent 13 kept low. Head forward and body tense as the white light of Project: Chiron seeped through the cracks between panels and reached out into the dark.

Objective collected, it wasn’t until the return journey the mission went wrong.

It was dark on the desert road, with moon and stars hidden by the night’s clouds, and headlights straining to puncture the desolate inky blackness.

Agent 13 heard the engine first. 

A purr that rattled into a roar as a sports car, crimson enough its paint could have matched freshly spilled blood, pulled alongside the M.E.C.H. vehicle. Agent 13 felt his seat vibrate as the engine let out another blast and the foreign vehicle edged forward and back. Egging him on, an invitation clear.

He slowed down the car.

Distracting as the sports car was, risking gathering the attention of a highway patrol would be infinitely worse. Especially, when carrying experimental property, discontinued or not. 

The crimson driver did not seem to receive the message. Following close for a few more miles, the driver continued to blast his engine and swerve. Rather pathetically desperate for a race, if this continued, Agent 13 might need to pull them both over. A quick paint job and the vehicle would be acceptable for Silas’s preferences and coyotes were always opportunistic for an extra body of meat.

Hand tightening on the wheel, the gun heavy in its holster on his hip, Agent 13 prepared to make his move when a third pair of headlights appeared.

Hands loosened as the witness drove closer, and the crimson driver straightened up their act. Eyes moving to a side mirror, Agent 13 watched as the hummer seemed to stall before falling back. Crimson driver following suit.

Agent 13 gripped the wheel, eyes deviating back to the road as the rubber in his gloves squeaked against the car’s plastic.

The Hummer and Crimson reappeared again, sliding up slowly, one on each side, tires straight and engines silent.

Agent 13 floored it.

Pinching maneuver failed, the hostile vehicles raced forward. Crimson swerved into the green vehicle’s side as the Hummer hammered against the bumper. In the flash of headlights against the review mirror, Agent 13 could make out the blue paint job of the Hummer just before it surged forward and the back window cracked into a fractured spiderweb of glass.

Surprise makes one sloppy, and Agent 13 did not expect a murder attempt from civilian drivers on this lonely stretch of road.

He did not have time to react as Crimson rammed and the door folded with a crunch and the car landed with a thud.

Pushed into a ditch, the driver’s side door blocked by a bolder, Agent 13 reached for his weapon, instincts ready to make good on his decades of training and lifetime of killing.

No human approached the dented and cracked door, and as the M.E.C.H. agent looked out the hole where his window used to be, a masked face met, for the first time, the object of Silas’s obsessions.

Metal titans stood over the wreckage, and 13 had nary a moment to take in the glorious sight before a charging whirl entered his senses and his world was engulfed by blue. On instinct, he turned to shield the mission objective, and as weaponized energy burnt through metal, plastic, and wood, the stolen and reconstructed relic made contact with cauterized flesh.

Agent 13 could not open his mouth to scream, and he could not choose to keep his mind closed.

---

A single-opticed Breakdown and seething Knockout left the sight of their impulsive fun without the slightest idea of what they’d done.

---

13 came too with his feet on the ground and the sun at his back. Smoke cloyed his nose, and he didn’t know from which burning it was. The aliens or the dream?

The dream.

Collapsing on his knees, the Agent heaved. He couldn’t bother to remove the mask that suffocated him, the mixture of rubber and kevlar that rubbed against his skin and pressed down his nose. He could barely open his mouth, empty air and strangled muffles escaping into the acrid scenery.

The Dream.

There was the vague awareness of shaking, limbs no longer the instruments of precision they had been, and hands clenching. Sensation did not exist inside the suit, so there was nothing to feel but his own body’s insufficiency. Insufficient to get up, to move, to do anything but freeze underneath a desert sun, incapable of getting a breath, and eyes that could barely make out the environment through the cracked lenses of overpriced goggles.

Not that it mattered. His mind was still focused on the Dream.

Aliens, war, children, M.E.C.H. They’d been there. Events playing out, circumstances beyond him, a stinge of incidents interconnected and inevitable.

Something had happened when he made contact with Project: Chiron.

He remembered the pain, he remembered the end. Being dissolved in the heat of an alien weapon. Seats melting, seatbelt incinerated, wood cracking and flacking into ashen pieces beneath flesh that were cooking alive. He remembered it all happened so quickly and yet… so, so very slow.

Hand falling through the container.

White light meeting blue.

Project: Chiron came into contact with the residue from the weapon an instant before 13 made contact with it.

And then…

The Dream.

Cliffjumper had died. Megatron experimented on the body with Dark Energon. He’d produced a zombie. He’d then scrapped the specimen and gone on to produce several armies worth. One on Earth. The rest on Cybertron.

Cybertron.

A space bridge. Transporting the army to Earth, only for the Autobots and children to ruin it all. Megatron was bombed with his own wormhole and left for dead. Starscream took over. Starscream tried to lead. But Megatron came back. Megatron beat the Seeker within an inch of his life for an attempt to kill Prime.

It went on and on. Always following the aliens, Autobots, and Decepticons. Battles, antics at the base, episodes of adventures.

There was the blue Hummer, Breakdown. Silas’s escaped project. 

Airachnid. Silas’s temporary ally who’d offered her kind.

Starscream. Who’d offered information and lost an organ.

There was a moment when the Earth shuddered and stormed. The ground cracked open and Dark Energon spewed from volcanos like a geyser. Unicron. 

Amnesia for the Prime. The Autobots got him back, but not before relic locations were revealed.

Breakdown killed by Airachnid. M.E.C.H. coming to make use of the pieces. Project: Chimera fulfilled.

The Japanese girl called it Nemesis Prime.

And then…. Silas lost.

Silas.

Silas was trapped. Silas, crushed beneath his obsession and masterpiece. Silas, lying comatose on a stolen hospital bed. Silas who they all failed.

And the Surgeon.

More relics, more battles, but that didn’t matter because the Surgeon saved Silas. It was unorthodox, it was unethical, but when had M.E.C.H. been preoccupied with morals? When the end was security and peace reinforced by power, weren’t a few dubious decisions worth it? How was it any different than a skin graft, or an organ donation?

Wasn’t it less wasteful to use the whole body?

13 could still see it in his mind. The moment the corpse shuddered with new life. The blue, the energon, activated systems so carefully patched together and repurposed. Metal face twitching, alien eyes, reunited and reattached, opening as a foreign mouth curved into a familiar confident smile.

“What have you done?”

Silas reborn.

“I’m one of them.”

Failures fixed.

“The perfect meld of man and machine. Exquisite.”

What was he doing?

“Thank you all for your dedication and a lifetime of service.”

Why were-?

“But I now seem more suited to keep the exclusive company of titans.”

The cannon fired. Weaponized blasts of energon as the world burned and men became kindling for their savior’s ambition.

Agent 13 watched Silas offer himself to the Decepticons. Offering the last scrap of M.E.C.H.’s years of work as if it had always been solely his. Watched as more people burned. As the Autobots came. As the Autobots won. 

13 watched the Crimson Driver drag a pleading Silas away. A man who’d they’d held as a tactical genius, incapable of seeing the Titans shared none of his twisted admiration.

Even 13 could appreciate the irony of Knockout avenging his desecrated partner, and unknowingly, avenging the hundreds of men who’d died hours before.

The Dream didn’t end. It went on and on. More relics. Invasion. A metal dragon. And the Autobots kept winning.

Silas trapped as an experiment, still pleading for help from his own victims. Then trapped in the reanimated body of his host, set free by an action of self-preservation from a false-ally. Tearfully thanking her for ending his life. Airachnid barely sparing a shred of acknowledgment. M.E.C.H. was well and truly dead.

Cybertron restored. Unicron vanquished again. Life returned with a Prime’s sacrifice. And then… 

Nothing.

An end of The Dream.

Silas was alive and whole. M.E.C.H. had never partnered with an alien.

But the dream was true. 

It just hadn’t happened yet.

---

Something was wrong with 13. 

“Easy as pie,” He was told, “in and out, done and dusted, before the feds know to even look.”

They could not afford Project: Chiron to go unaccounted for, useless as it was. It had proven a failure. The scavenged artifact with a similar metal and design as the alien Transformers, had yielded less information than the trouble to process it was worth. But then, 13 wasn’t an inventor or a scientist, he didn’t see the possibilities lurking within hidden technology. As a soldier, Agent 13 saw bulky tech that had been stripped down into unidentifiable pieces.

And now it was gone.

The project was gone, with 13 alone in the wilderness. An Agent seeing visions of the future, head pounding and mouth dry, with a feeling of emptiness that seemed to echo and grow with every minute that passed.

He wanted to dream again.

He needed to see it again.

There was something so distinctly horrifying, so profoundly euphoric about existing outside of yourself. Of being nothing more than a viewer. Of feeling untethered, unbound, separate from the disasters that loomed large.

13 wanted to be separate again.

But he kept walking. Because walking was all he could do.

---

Mind still spinning, The Dream turning and weaving through every thought, 13’s feet changed direction in a slow and subtle drift. A buzz filled the air, and the emptiness cried out. 

Suddenly, 13 was no longer slow.

On his knees again the man dug into the Earth. Sand and dirt crept into the groves and crevices of the suit, finding their way through tears and sticking to half-melted edges. 13 paid no mind as blisters popped and burns were rubbed raw. He couldn’t feel it, nerves damaged as they were. He felt only the treasure hidden beneath the sands, 13 moved only for it.

Somehow, he knew the only reason his heart still beat was so that he could hold it close.

The energon was exposed. It might have been hours of digging, it might have been minutes, but it didn’t matter, it was there.

And the emptiness craved.

Hand outstretched, 13 made contact with the rock.

His eyes rolled back and he dreamed once more. Blue light turned to white as Project: Chiron fulfilled its objective and its unwitting host basked in the consequences.

---

The dreams were fading. 13 was starving. And the emptiness howled for more.

He’d dug his way through half the desert, fingers rubbed raw for shards that disappeared as soon as they settled into his palm. He’d gotten such pleasure, such relief from those first few absorptions. The Dream continued, in more and more detail, as his mind began to acclimate to the visions, and the information hidden within seemed more inevitable, more permanent. More real.

The hollowness went away with the energon. That small gap between the blue and white, when his vision blurred and spine contracted, when 13 felt so far removed from the pain of hunger and the doom of knowing. Moments that became shorter with each new shard, moments where the soldier had sneaked past the gates and into paradise itself.

He didn’t like being without a shard. The shards feed the Dream, and the Dream finishes the shards. Without the shards there was no Dream, there was no moment in between. There was just 13.

Something was wrong with 13. 

It hurt to be alone. It hurt to be awake, hollow, aching with something more itching just beyond his grasp, just beyond an ever-thinning veil of awareness and reality. 13 wanted to rip through that veil with his teeth.

---

Something was wrong with 13.

How many days had it been? How many hours since he’d last found a shard? Since he’d last been free?

Skin burned underneath the suit, and his vision wavered beneath his mask. The glaring haze of the desert, sand, and dirt is torn up as if a giant had raked the ground, faded, and became unfocused. Something white and black was winding through the peripheries of vision, Sounds, and blue-lettered words, names that didn’t belong to anyone inside.

Inside.

Something was wrong with 13. But who was he to judge? Who was anyone?

One more shard, one more Dream. Just one more, please.

Something was wrong with 13, and the Dreams -just made it worse- made it better. 

Just one more shard. Just one more step. One more…

And then he can start again.

---

There are no shards, nothing left buried beneath sand or hidden away inside cliffs. 13 has scavenged and scavenged and taken and now there is nothing left for him to take. Nothing left for him to offer.

It’s the project, the relic, the stolen technology he almost died to save, and the tech that’s taken his sacrifice and twisted it into something more.

He can feel it. Lose pieces, liquid metal, something alien slithering inside him. Coolness pressing against bones, tight rings squeezing muscle, particles drifting past barriers and seeping through fluid till it reaches grey matter and turns it silver.

He is not the tool. The tool is not him. But neither are what they should have been.

Something is wrong, and it isn’t 13.

He’s never felt so right, so hollow, so whole, so unnecessary. 

Perhaps it's the energon, slipping past his rubbery mask, staining his hands even if he knows it will disappear by the next scene. The world doesn’t disappear in favor of The Dream, but 13 knows it all by heart now. He knows many things now.

The vehicon that he sits by for instance. Frame still, energon pooling out of dents and slices from an Autobot raid, an empty frame. Burying his face in the lacerated abdomen of the creature, 13 knows that this creature was an empty frame long before it died. No name, no story, no identity, no purpose other than to stand in the background or die.

For now, he’s too pleased with the relief the energon brings to consider any more than that. But the high doesn’t last long.

Soon 13 is craving again. Soon 13 is searching again. 

This time it's for a reason just as much as a high.

---

Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is joy. A simple child-like understanding, a purity in the fragile and fading pursuits of life, but so, so easily broken.

13 can feel his mind cracking like broken glass, and no matter how he tries, he can’t fit the pieces back together without them decaying back into sand.

It was all a lie, it was all fake, it meant nothing.

The Dream never goes away, the voices never fade, and the euphoria never comes. It plays and it plays and it plays over and over and over again. The timeline, the plotline, the beginning, and the end, because it is the end isn’t it?

A fade to black and it all starts over again.

Again and again and again.

Nothing exists outside the plot. Everything exists for the plot.

Does he?

---

Energon does nothing now. The Hollowness craves and it can’t be filled. The mind sees and it can’t understand. It doesn't want to understand.

But they do. And it changes nothing.

Nothing.

What is it to live in a world where that is what you are? The agent meant nothing. What were they? A nameless suit with a mask, a body to fill the background. Did they have a name? Had they ever? They never pulled up the mask, they never removed the suit. Would there even be a body hidden beneath, or empty air, flesh unrendered and unneeded?

No. No, because they weren’t worth that much. Only vague gashes and sensations are created from expectations, only ideas, and concepts for what should be. Perhaps a haunted suit if they even had a spirit capable of such a thing.

But fiction does not have a soul. It only borrows from what its maker provides.

That's what this all is, fiction. A fabrication. A falsehood. A lie. 

They all existed to serve the plot, the vision of a maker to the entertainment of an audience. Value was in the story, worth was in a role. Silas was an important character, the Surgeon was the only one who came close but not even he was granted a name, a history, or a motive. They were nothing.

Nothing.

Even then it was all for the aliens, for the Transformers. It was their story, their tale, and M.E.C.H. was nothing more than a prop. A subplot. A distraction. A filler.

Did the betrayal even matter then? Bodies burning, conscientious abandoned as men played god, but they had never been men in the first place. Never been human. Never had a choice.

It was a program, graphics constructed within a screen, puppets playing to directions, and voices inserted that weren’t even their own.

Did anything even matter anymore?

It was fake, false, it was… a TV show. 

All that death, everything they’d given up, everything they’d sacrificed and bleed dry. Treason, murder, betraying nation and family alike because they’d believed they’d bring about humanity’s salvation. Heroes of a new age. The bringers of a new century of progress, of power.

They were nothing but empty vessels. Body counts. Puppets are not worth gifting a flimsy story or half-assed voice.

Nothing.

Just one more step. One more shard. One more sip. Just one more piece of energon and maybe, they could forget. Maybe they could be Agent 13 again.

Maybe they could dream and finally wake up.

---

Choking back the energon, the graphic’s form seized as their mind flexed and burned. The world was too small, too tight. The effects of the apparatus amplified beyond what should have been possible. The unstable tangle of energy was pooling, coagulating, forming a positive feedback that just kept building, and building, and building upon itself. What was an identity to a concept? What was a name to an idea? This world existed for the Titans, for the story. Its ending was set, but M.E.C.H. wouldn’t even last that long. Death lingered by, but could it claim things that had never been alive?

Why was 13 so different? No apparatus, no relic like this was shown in the plotlines. It was all nuclear engines, aliens,  vivisections, organs, a broken body in a metal corpse, and fire. Burning flesh, melting flames, screams, and cooked meat.

The suits all looked the same. No identity. No individual. No reality… no Agent 13.

Oh

Oh. They don’t belong in this world at all, do they?

No. They’re different.

You made them.

You.

And he’s alive here. A fake world, a voiceless, formless world. It’s changing. Heartbeating with every glance of a foreign eye, for shifting with every new mind. 

He doesn’t belong there.

Send him back.

Send me back.

Send me back.

I don’t want to know these things.

I’m not supposed to know these things.

No.

That’s not true.

You created me to know.

You created me to drive me mad.

𝐀⃥⃒̸𝐫⃥⃒̸𝐞⃥⃒̸ 𝐲⃥⃒̸𝐨⃥⃒̸𝐮⃥⃒̸ 𝐝⃥⃒̸𝐨⃥⃒̸𝐧⃥⃒̸𝐞⃥⃒̸ 𝐰⃥⃒̸𝐢⃥⃒̸𝐭⃥⃒̸𝐡⃥⃒̸ 𝐦⃥⃒̸𝐞⃥⃒̸ 𝐲⃥⃒̸𝐞⃥⃒̸𝐭⃥⃒̸?⃥⃒̸

[nakedmonkey]

I'd like to know your Bros thoughts 👀

Oh, Sophie...I love you and your thirst for blood. Okay. Spoilers ahead!

I'm gonna first give credit where credit is due. IDK if it was the wine I was drinking or what, but there were a couple of moments that really got me. Maybe one moment. The scene at the beach where Bobby is talking about how his whole life he's been told he needs to tone it down and not be so gay, not talk so much about gay shit all the time, I felt that. It made me emotional for obvious reasons. I think all of us Tumblr queers can identify with someone in our IRL lives telling us not everything needs to be gay. It felt like a really earnest moment, really well-thought out, well written scene. The film overall got a few laughs from me, but I wasn't laughing as much as the straight people in the audience, let me tell you.

Unfortunately most of the film felt sooo hammy. If you're familiar with Billy Eichner's comedy, and you like it, then this movie is for you. I watched Difficult People, and like Difficult People, it had its moments, but ultimately, you can tell it thinks a lot of itself. Like its protagonist, this movie thinks it's better, funnier, smarter than any other movie about gay people.

For a movie that's been so heavily advertised as a queer movie for queer people, a movie that isn't trying to teach straight people anything, or a movie about queer people just being people who happen to be queer, it...wasn't that. In fact, it felt A LOT like it was trying to let straight audiences in by quite literally spelling out how gay people and straight people are different. In almost every scene, we have to hear about how gay men are this, and gay men are that, but straight people are this and that. I thought we weren't doing that lol Straight people don't need to be in on the joke. They can just catch up.

I felt that the conflicts weren't as impactful as they wanted them to be, and I think that's due to the writing. It could have benefited from a script doc (Carrie Fisher I miss you) for sure or a third writer even. There was so much going on all the time, and I think it's because it was trying to be the lovechild of every romcom set in NYC ever. When we first meet Bobby, he's the host of a podcast, but then we just don't ever visit that again lol it's so odd. We also get soooo far into the movie before even finding out Aaron wants to make chocolate but it's mentioned ONE time and then at the end of the movie he just up and quits his job to make chocolate lololol what??? When how and why did this happen? The ending didn't feel earned because we never stick with a conflict long enough to feel the consequences of it.

Also. This guy who played Aaron. Bless him but I don't think he was the best choice for this role. I don't think the chemistry was there the way you want it to be for a romcom. In fact, I didn't realize we were meeting The Love Interest in his introduction. There's a whole rant I could go into about the superficiality of Bros' queer universe, but man, I'd be here all night. I basically don't think it was a strong script and I'm baffled as to how it got the kind of backing that it got.

(tho actually not that baffled)

[tuiyla]

Such interesting thoughts in asks damn you guys are smart

I'll get to them tomorrow sorry I couldn't continue all the recent topics today

[vrisrezis]

Hello! I hope this isn't too pressuring. I had a run-through of your danganronpa works and they were just??? Chef's kiss? 💕✨ They're so engaging and it all makes me want to keep reading more. I'd love to hear more of your ideas so, how do you think the Danganronpa 2 cast would react to somebody having a crush on them?

Not in the stalkery way but in the kind that they genuinely appreciate them as a person, are interested to know more about their hobbies, care about their well-being, include them in activities, and all that kind of stuff! I know you've done works on characters having a crush on someone before but I'm interested on how they'd react if the situation was reversed and it was someone absolutely admiring them instead.

Ty if you do decide to write this! Stay safe, I hope you're enjoying your time as a writer on tumblr. If you ever need a break, it's alright. Have a nice day or night!💛

Ty for the kind words! Enjoy

Teruteru would be very pleased by this, of course! He may act like a flirt but he doesn’t have people interested in him ever, especially not like this! However he does notice this, and while at times he may brag about how you’re totally into him, he loves it. He loves talking about his cooking and about his mother, and has probably introduced the two of you by now. He absolutely adores knowing how much you love him!

Mahiru at first tries to come up with many excuses at to why you act a certain way around her, but thanks to hiyoko she can no longer make any more excuses for you. She eventually accepts you have a massive crush on her. She finds the stuff you do for her to be very sweet, especially since it’s kinda her love language for people to do things for her and genuinely be interested in her interests. She’s good at caring for others, but she appreciates being cared for back.

Peko won’t realize your feelings, for awhile. However, once she becomes more independent and stops seeing herself as simply a tool and a human being, she starts to notice these things about you, and opens up to the possibility that somebody could have romantic feelings for her. She appreciates all of it, and tries to return the favor.

Ibuki is smarter than she looks and is pretty quick to figuring it out! She thinks your crush on her is plain adorable! She waits it out, hoping you’ll confess to her first! She wouldn’t wanna ruin anything if you had something planned, but she’s never been the patient type so if you take too long she’s gonna just cut to the chase already!

Hiyoko may make excuses for your behavior like Mahiru, but she comes to the conclusion you like her a lot faster than Mahiru does. She will go out her way to ask you for things because she knows you’ll get it for her or do it for her! But she’s not completely taking advantage, she plans on confessing her feelings and returning the favor to you!

Mikan may see your advances as simply… friendship.. honestly. We all know mikan isn’t used to people being nice to her, and it takes awhile for her to accept you even care about the stuff she enjoys. She believes for awhile you caring for her is out of self pity, so she’s honestly completely oblivious to all the signs, but coincidentally those signs make her fall for you more.

Nekomaru doesn’t notice either, he’s not exactly the romance typa dude. Romance has never been his game, but he will notice you seem to care for him a lot more than the others. He appreciates your kindness, and that you care a lot about his thoughts and feelings. He will confess to you on his own, without even figuring out if you return his feelings.

Gundham is another that doesn’t notice, due to not making too many friends growing up, if at all. He’s rather lonely and doesn’t know what friendship looks like, so you caring for him only seems normal for companions, nothing more. He is always flustered however by you showing how much you care about his four dark devas, as well as anything else he talks about.

Nagito really can’t comprehend the idea of anyone liking him, especially not somebody he has romantic feelings for. So he doesn’t suspect a thing, despite the signs. He’s a smart guy, but he hates himself way too much to notice. He will note that you care for him, way more than anyone ever has before and it makes him feel all warm inside that you actually listen to his hope rambles.

Chiaki will get the feeling you like her, but she won’t be 100% sure. She’s smart enough to realize the signs, but she second guesses herself sometimes. In any event, she likes that you’re willing to indulge in her video games, whether that’s watching her play or playing with her, even though you lose everytime. She appreciates that, since not everyone cares as much as you do.

Sonia does not notice a god damn thing, if souda is anything to go by. She’s a little oblivious to people liking her, because she’s used to it. She’s not goi my to notice people like her if plenty of people already do and treat her a certain way. However she appreciates how much you care more than the others, because you genuinely care for her well being as well as her thoughts, opinions, feelings, interests, etc. you don’t care because she’s the ultimate princess or because she’s pretty, you care because you two are friends.

Akane doesn’t notice either, since she can be oblivious to that sorta thing. She’s not that intelligent for one, but she also just doesn’t get involved in romantics typically. She doesn’t take notice to a lot of the signs, other than the fact you care for her a lot which she just thinks is because you’re close. She plans to tell you how she feels for you on her own though.

Souda catches on, very quickly. This is only because he is the same way with you, so it’s honestly just two simps after eachother who are too scared to get it over with and confess already cause both of you are unsure if eachother is joking or not. In any event, his heart gets really warm upon realizing somebody likes him just as much as he likes that somebody.

Fuyuhiko will catch on eventually, but he’s pretty oblivious with romance to be perfectly honest. He appreciates how much you seem to care for him and admire him, although he doesn’t really understand it. It just makes him wanna be a better person just for you, he wants to truly be somebody you can look up to.

Hajime obviously struggles with confidence so he doesn’t really get what you see in him and for a bit may not notice your feelings towards him. He’s not a complete moron though so he will catch on and probably tells you how he feels before you get the chance to tell him.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi. I’m curious. What did you mean by “women who read fiction might get Bad Ideas!!!” has just reached its latest and stupidest form via tumblr purity culture.? I haven’t seen any of this but I’m new to tumblr.

Oh man. You really want to get me into trouble on, like, my first day back, don’t you?

Pretty much all of this has been explained elsewhere by people much smarter than me, so this isn’t necessarily going to say anything new, but I’ll do my best to synthesize and summarize it. As ever, it comes with the caveat that it is my personal interpretation, and is not intended as the be-all, end-all. You’ll definitely run across it if you spend any time on Tumblr (or social media in general, including Twitter, and any other fandom-related spaces). This will get long.

In short: in the nineteenth century, when Gothic/romantic literature became popular and women were increasingly able to read these kinds of novels for fun, there was an attendant moral panic over whether they, with their weak female brains, would be able to distinguish fiction from reality, and that they might start making immoral or inappropriate choices in their real life as a result. Obviously, there was a huge sexist and misogynistic component to this, and it would be nice to write it off entirely as just hysterical Victorian pearl-clutching, but that feeds into the “lol people in the past were all much stupider than we are today” kind of historical fallacy that I often and vigorously shut down. (Honestly, I’m not sure how anyone can ever write the “omg medieval people believed such weird things about medicine!” nonsense again after what we’ve gone through with COVID, but that is a whole other rant.) The thinking ran that women shouldn’t read novels for fear of corrupting their impressionable brains, or if they had to read novels at all, they should only be the Right Ones: i.e., those that came with a side of heavy-handed and explicit moralizing so that they wouldn’t be tempted to transgress. Of course, books trying to hammer their readers over the head with their Moral Point aren’t often much fun to read, and that’s not the point of fiction anyway. Or at least, it shouldn’t be.

Fast-forward to today, and the entire generation of young, otherwise well-meaning people who have come to believe that being a moral person involves only consuming the “right” kind of fictional content, and being outrageously mean to strangers on the internet who do not agree with that choice. There are a lot of factors contributing to this. First, the advent of social media and being subject to the judgment of people across the world at all times has made it imperative that you demonstrate the “right” opinions to fit in with your peer-group, and on fandom websites, that often falls into a twisted, hyper-critical, so-called “progressivism” that diligently knows all the social justice buzzwords, but has trouble applying them in nuance, context, and complicated real life. To some extent, this obviously is not a bad thing. People need to be critical of the media they engage with, to know what narratives the creator(s) are promoting, the tropes they are using, the conclusions that they are supporting, and to be able to recognize and push back against genuinely harmful content when it is produced – and this distinction is critical – by professional mainstream creators. Amateur, individual fan content is another kettle of fish. There is a difference between critiquing a professional creator (though social media has also made it incredibly easy to atrociously abuse them) and attacking your fellow fan and peer, who is on the exact same footing as you as a consumer of that content.

Obviously, again, this doesn’t mean that you can’t call out people who are engaging in actually toxic or abusive behavior, fans or otherwise. But certain segments of Tumblr culture have drained both those words (along with “gaslighting”) of almost all critical meaning, until they’re applied indiscriminately to “any fictional content that I don’t like, don’t agree with, or which doesn’t seem to model healthy behavior in real life” and “anyone who likes or engages with this content.” Somewhere along the line, a reactionary mindset has been formed in which the only fictional narratives or relationships are those which would be “acceptable” in real life, to which I say…. what? If I only wanted real life, I would watch the news and only read non-fiction. Once again, the underlying fear, even if it’s framed in different terms, is that the people (often women) enjoying this content can’t be trusted to tell the difference between fiction and reality, and if they like “problematic” fictional content, they will proceed to seek it out in their real life and personal relationships. And this is just… not true.

As I said above, critical media studies and thoughtful consumption of entertainment are both great things! There have been some great metas written on, say, the Marvel Cinematic Universe and how it is increasingly relying on villains who have outwardly admirable motives (see: the Flag Smashers in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier) who are then stigmatized by their anti-social, violent behavior and attacks on innocent people, which is bad even as the heroes also rely on violence to achieve their ends. This is a clever way to acknowledge social anxieties – to say that people who identify with the Flag Smashers are right, to an extent, but then the instant they cross the line into violence, they’re upsetting the status quo and need to be put down by the heroes. I watched TFATWS and obviously enjoyed it. I have gone on a Marvel re-watching binge recently as well. I like the MCU! I like the characters and the madcap sci-fi adventures! But I can also recognize it as a flawed piece of media that I don’t have to accept whole-cloth, and to be able to criticize some of the ancillary messages that come with it. It doesn’t have to be black and white.

When it comes to shipping, moreover, the toxic culture of “my ship is better than your ship because it’s Better in Real Life” ™ is both well-known and in my opinion, exhausting and pointless. As also noted, the whole point of fiction is that it allows us to create and experience realities that we don’t always want in real life. I certainly enjoy plenty of things in fiction that I would definitely not want in reality: apocalyptic space operas, violent adventures, and yes, garbage men. A large number of my ships over the years have been labeled “unhealthy” for one reason or another, presumably because they don’t adhere to the stereotype of the coffee-shop AU where there’s no tension and nobody ever makes mistakes or is allowed to have serious flaws. And I’m not even bagging on coffee-shop AUs! Some people want to remove characters from a violent situation and give them that fluff and release from the nonstop trauma that TV writers merrily inflict on them without ever thinking about the consequences. Fanfiction often focuses on the psychology and healing of characters who have been through too much, and since that’s something we can all relate to right now, it’s a very powerful exercise. As a transformative and interpretive tool, fanfic is pretty awesome.

The problem, again, comes when people think that fic/fandom can only be used in this way, and that going the other direction, and exploring darker or complicated or messy dynamics and relationships, is morally bad. As has been said before: shipping is not activism. You don’t get brownie points for only having “healthy” ships (and just my personal opinion as a queer person, these often tend to be heterosexual white ships engaging in notably heteronormative behavior) and only supporting behavior in fiction that you think is acceptable in real life. As we’ve said, there is a systematic problem in identifying what that is. Ironically, for people worried about Women Getting Ideas by confusing fiction and reality, they’re doing the same thing, and treating fiction like reality. Fiction is fiction. Nobody actually dies. Nobody actually gets hurt. These people are not real. We need to normalize the idea of characters as figments of a creator’s imagination, not actual people with their own agency. They exist as they are written, and by the choice of people whose motives can be scrutinized and questioned, but they themselves are not real. Nor do characters reflect the author’s personal views. Period.

This feeds into the fact that the internet, and fandom culture, is not intended as a “safe space” in the sense that no questionable or triggering content can ever be posted. Archive of Our Own, with its reams of scrupulous tagging and requests for you to explicitly click and confirm that you are of age to see M or E-rated content, is a constant target of the purity cultists for hosting fictional material that they see as “immoral.” But it repeatedly, unmistakably, directly asks you for your consent to see this material, and if you then act unfairly victimized, well… that’s on you. You agreed to look at this, and there are very few cases where you didn’t know what it entailed. Fandom involves adults creating contents for adults, and while teenagers and younger people can and do participate, they need to understand this fact, rather than expecting everything to be a PG Disney movie.

When I do write my “dark” ships with garbage men, moreover, they always involve a lot of the man being an idiot, being bluntly called out for an idiot, and learning healthier patterns of behavior, which is one of the fundamental patterns of romance novels. But they also involve an element of the woman realizing that societal standards are, in fact, bullshit, and she can go feral every so often, as a treat. But even if I wrote them another way, that would still be okay! There are plenty of ships and dynamics that I don’t care for and don’t express in my fic and fandom writing, but that doesn’t mean I seek out the people who do like them and reprimand them for it. I know plenty of people who use fiction, including dark fiction, in a cathartic way to process real-life trauma, and that’s exactly the role – one of them, at least – that fiction needs to be able to fulfill. It would be terribly boring and limited if we were only ever allowed to write about Real Life and nothing else. It needs to be complicated, dark, escapist, unreal, twisted, and whatever else. This means absolutely zilch about what the consumers of this fiction believe, act, or do in their real lives.

Once more, I do note the misogyny underlying this. Nobody, after all, seems to care what kind of books or fictional narratives men read, and there’s no reflection on whether this is teaching them unhealthy patterns of behavior, or whether it predicts how they’ll act in real life. (There was some of that with the “do video games cause mass shootings?”, but it was a straw man to distract from the actual issues of toxic masculinity and gun culture.) Certain kinds of fiction, especially historical fiction, romance novels, and fanfic, are intensely gendered and viewed as being “women’s fiction” and therefore hyper-criticized, while nobody’s asking if all the macho-man potboiler military-intrigue tough-guy stereotypical “men’s fiction” is teaching them bad things. So the panic about whether your average woman on the internet is reading dark fanfic with an Unhealthy Ship (zomgz) is, in my opinion, misguided at best, and actively destructive at worst.

[quietborderline]

An Open Letter To Fandom (and the BioWare fandom, specifically),

TL;DR:

1. Fandom creators are not trained monkeys. We are not some corporate entity mass producing content. We are passionate fans, of all ages, same as you, who just want to share our love of the source material with the world, same as you. We are full of anxiety and awkwardness, same as you. We can feel things and have emotions, same as you. We're people. Real people. Please treat us accordingly.

2. If you, too, are discouraged by all the bullshit out there, then come say hello. My inbox is always open. I promise we are not all trolls. We are not all hateful, obnoxious assholes in disguise. And we are not all fake as shit takers who don't know how to give. Some of us are just normal, good people who love the content as much as you do and want to squee with you about it. Find us. We are out here, I promise.

Now, I want to tell you all a little story about my return to fandom just over a year ago. But first, a bit of backstory: I've been kicking around fandom for a LONG time now. About 25-30 years. At least 25 of them as an active writer/creator or whatever you want to call it.

See, I come from the RP side of fandom. So, as a creator, I'm pretty used to small, tight-knit communities that almost never had any outside audience. We created stuff with and for each other only.

That became exhausting when all the various platforms we were using decided to kick us out (I'm not gonna get into all that fandom history, as it's been documented many times over by people far smarter and more articulate than myself). Because, remember, right now I'm talking pre-AO3 times. Fandom was scattered across all different journal sites and other platforms and communities. And while I was always, always writing I almost never shared my own work, only the logs and stuff I wrote with others as part of the RPGs.

This will all come together, I promise...

For the sake of condensing this story I'm gonna skip a bit, and fast forward to 2017 and my official entrance into the BioWare fandom.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, friends.

We need to have a talk.

Because this fandom is a fucking disaster. Like I said, I've been participating in and lurking around fandom spaces for 25-30 years now. I've seen some shit, okay. I have never in all that time seen such a fucking cesspool of misery and hate disguising itself as a fandom.

Not EVER. In all that time.

Not in my personal experience, at least.

I have thoughts about why this is. You've heard of the 1% theory of fandom, have you not? If not, you can read about it here on Fanlore. It is great and, usually, very accurate. But BioWare, we have a problem. And I've decided that problem is one of two things: Either our fandom is just fucking backwards, and our 99% is the truly awful ones and our 1% are decent humans. OR. Our 1% is just SO FUCKING UNBEARABLE that our 99% is scared or bullied into total silence.

I really hope it's the latter, otherwise that's just depressing as shit.

And let me tell you something: I don't abide bullies well at all.

If you know me in any capacity... be it from the olden RP days, or my fic/writing, or just general Tumblr fandom stuff, or GISH, or my mental health blog, or theater and real life, or whatever... I think it's fair to say, I'm a decent and kind person? I'm a bumbling idiot, I will give you that, and I have a wicked case of imposter syndrome sometimes because 99% of people are smarter than me in ways that are extremely frustrating to me as a perfectionist lunatic person...

ANYWAY. I digress.

I'm not an asshole.

I reach out to people, I try to be supportive, I give as much of myself as I can. I act a fool out here not just because I am one, but because I want the people like me who hid away thinking they could never be good enough to know that they are. You can be a bumbling idiot, and you can keep fucking shit up, and you can take four goddamn years to stubbornly finish one stupid work of fanfic... and no one cares.

What people care about is your heart. Are you a good fucking person, yes or no? Do you actually give a shit about the people around you?

Or do you just want them to give a shit about you.

If some of you acted in the real world the way you act online, you would be laughed out of existence. In ANY space. Nowhere would be "safe" because you would still be a piece of shit. And that's the appeal for some people, I get that. The anonymity of the internet gives them the ability to say and do all the horrible things they wouldn't do IRL (absolutely fucking HILARIOUS, btw, how that's one of the things at least some of them get their panties in such a twist about, too, but that's a whole different rant for a whole different day). I don't understand it, but I get it. Only that warps everyone else's view of what fandom or other spaces/communities are actually like.

And what sort of behavior is acceptable in those spaces.

So I am here to tell you, this fucking bullshit is not acceptable.

For example, using my current most active fandom, I have a list a mile along of complaints about various aspects of the Mass Effect franchise. Some of them extremely minor, some of them a little less so. Do you know what being an obnoxious asshole to other fans, and in fan-specific spaces, about those complaints does to help anyone or anything? Jack and shit. It doesn't do ANTHING. Literally the only thing that accomplishes is making that space uninhabitable for people who do not share my opinion, or who don't care to focus on the negativity, or blah blah blah a million other fucking reasons.

You are more than entitled to have whatever opinion you damn well please. But if 99.9% of what you want to do is hate on something, make your own "Hate On This Thing" place and invite all your fellow trolls and haters. Have a whole fucking goddamn party, I don't give a shit. I'll even buy you the drinks. Just leave the rest of us alone.

You're toxic waste and I'm sick of looking at you.

Some of you are literally children and I forgive you, because you don't know any better and clearly aren't being taught any better. But some of you are supposedly in your 20s and 30s etc. are you're just pieces of literal human garbage. And at least in part you're the ones teaching the younger crowd how to be smaller pieces of human garbage. Because you're trying to be "cool" or something?

I don't even fucking know but if so god that's so pathetic it makes me insane LOL but I guess that's another rant for another day because I'm getting way off topic here...

When I first started posting BH&R in 2017 after BioWare announced they were giving up on MEA, BECAUSE THE ENTIRE FANDOM IS A DUMPSTER FIRE FULL OF BULLIES AND ASSHOLES do you know what one of my first experiences of feedback was? Someone telling me I'm horrible and problematic and blah blah blah for fetishizing two Hispanic characters. Because my relationship tags were Scott/Reyes and Scott/Vega. This person knew jack shit about me, and I'm almost positive they hadn't even read any of my story because I'm not sure Reyes had even appeared in it yet. Vega certainly hadn't, aside from maybe his name. And they certainly had no way of knowing that MY Vega is aspec, because I hadn't shared any of Sleeping With Ghosts yet... the list goes on, but basically this person made a whole shit ton of assumptions and, in the name of "Wokeness," sent me some less than friendly anons here on Tumblr.

And, I won't lie, that is a part of why I stopped updating for so long.

Because I let some dumbass get in my head.

This is nothing new. This sort of thing happens all the time now.

This is unacceptable.

When I came back last year and started posting again, I stumbled into @radio-chatter and she tried to convince me to chat with one or two other people who were active in the fandom, among them @satashiiwrites. And do you know what I did? I RAN FOR THE HILLS lol. I not only didn't talk to these new people, I also stopped talking to her. I wanted no part of it. In part because my experience with this fandom had not been great up to that point. And, perhaps even in larger part, because I took one look at their AO3 stats and decided I could not sit at that table. Probably didn't even want to.

Guess what? I was wrong.

I know we had a few Tumblr-type interactions, and on Discord, but let me tell you about the one I remember most. The day I finished BH&R.

The day I actually completed BH&R I posted here on Tumblr because I was so fucking excited. This was the first time I'd finished ANY work at all since before AO3 existed, and I'm like 99% sure it's the first time I've ever shared any work that was 100% my own (as I mentioned, I come from rp fandom for the most part as a "creator").

And the two of them reblogged my post, and they were so excited for me and cheering me on, and blah blah blah. At the time it was kinda random and unexpected. And I spent like an hour grinning like a fool.

Now let me be clear, neither one of them have actually read BH&R, to my knowledge, nor do I believe they are interested in doing so.

And I am 100% okay with that. In fact I prefer it, because fandom has all this stupid bullshit pressure, and it makes me insane. No. Stop.

They were cheering for and supporting me.

As, like, a fellow human being.

And maybe a fellow writer, too, I guess. But it wasn't about my story. And it wasn't because I had supported them or reblogged their shit so they felt obligated or some other stupid crap like that which I hate.

It was just them as humans reaching out and being amazing. So, I reached back out to them. And now I consider them friends.

Listen to me: I don't make friends. LOL.

I'm not an easy person to get along with, not because I'm unfriendly but because I'm awkward and I overshare or I don't speak at all and it's just a nightmare having anything to do with me, really, but they do it. We don't (always, at least) have the same headcanons or ships or types of fic that we like, etc. but we respect each other as people.

It's literally not hard.

If BioWare is your only fandom experience, I am begging you to branch out. BioWare is trash. And I don't mean the devs/studio or the games. I mean the fandom. It is hot garbage, and it is not at all representative of the larger fandom community as a whole.

There's something called the golden rule (at least where I come from), you've probably heard of it in some form but it boils down to "treat people the way you want to be treated." And I honestly think that would solve so many of the world's problems.

But what the fuck do I know?

I'm just some trained monkey who writes fanfic...

And if you are in BioWare and you stubbornly love it as much as I do, come say hi. I'm a multi-shipping whore and I'll talk about anything. I have EXACTLY one squick and that is Mpreg but even then it's a "this is not for me but it's cool if you like it" and I'll talk about it with you, I'm just not a fan. I'm not gonna call for your head on a spike or w/e.

I even know a few cool people I can introduce you to.

If you want to make some real friends, that is.

[recentanimenews]

RECS: Want to Watch Old Anime? Discotek Has You Covered

Every anime season brings a new roster of hits, but the shows of the past recede into the distance. Certainly, there are some exceptions and niche fans keep the spirit of ongoing series like Gundam alive. But with the continued emphasis on new and exciting anime, it’s tempting to forget the multitude of great shows and movies that already exist.   The Discotek label has fought consistently over the past several years to ensure that anime’s past is preserved. Run by industry stalwarts, they’ve done the impossible time and time again: they tracked down the masters of cult OVA Project A-Ko, painstakingly restored the 2001 remake of Cyborg 009: The Cyborg Soldier from thousands of damaged tapes, and much of their best stuff is now available for streaming.

  If you’re looking for something a little different or simply looking for a new show to watch, why not travel back into anime’s past? Here are some great TV series and movies as enjoyable today as they were when they were produced.

  These are just my own recommendations, picked from the great sea of Discotek titles. But if you want to explore further, and check out titles including real-life inspiration on Yoko Taro, Sister Princess, you can find their shared Crunchyroll catalog list here.

  Note: The titles listed are largely only available in the United States and Canada.

  Movie Night

  Urusei Yatsura Movie 2: Beautiful Dreamer

    One of the best-known anime directors ever, Mamoru Oshii first made his mark with an outrageously popular animated sitcom: Urusei Yatsura, the series that put the queen of romantic comedy manga Rumiko Takahashi on the map. Oshii struck a balance throughout the TV series between hilarious comedy and experimentation, but it was in the second Urusei Yatsura film, Beautiful Dreamer, that he really went all out. This surreal time loop story keeps finding new ways to defy audience expectations throughout its runtime both as an atypical Urusei Yatsura tale as well as a sterling example of just how imaginative and ground-breaking the Urusei Yatsura anime could be at its best.

  GoShogun: The Time Etranger

    GoShogun: The Time Etranger is that classic anime standby: a film completely different in tone and content than the franchise that spawned it. Released four years after the original 1981 super robot series, The Time Etranger spends much of its runtime focused on the dreams and anxieties of sole female cast member Remy as she lies in a coma at the hospital. Examining “what happens after” a final super robot fight, it remains an enjoyable film with smarter writing than you’d expect.  The Time Etranger is also a notable favorite of the great 80sanime Tumblr.

  Night on the Galactic Railroad

    Kenji Miyazawa’s novel Night on the Galactic Railroad might be best known to English-speaking audiences as a reference point for anime like Mawaru Penguindrum and Galaxy Express 999, but in truth, it’s one of the most beloved Japanese children’s stories ever written. An anime film adaptation was released in 1985, directed by the famed Gisaburo Sugii and scored by Yellow Magic Orchestra member Haruomi Hosono. Also, the characters are all drawn as cats! While slow-paced, it’s a strong adaptation that captures the charming and whimsical spirit of the original novel.

  Other Discotek movie recommendations:

All the other 6 Urusei Yatsura movies

Jin Roh

Like the Clouds, Like the Wind

Ringing Bell

  Mecha

  Giant Gorg

    Folks talk up director Yoshiyuki Tomino as the key creative force behind the original Gundam. But don’t forget Yoshikazu Yasuhiko, the talented character designer behind both Mobile Suit Gundam and Zeta Gundam. His most personal anime project is Giant Gorg, the story of a young boy who stumbles across a giant robot on a mysterious island. Rather than a Gundam-style war narrative, Giant Gorg is a proper adventure story in which the young cast spring from cliffhanger to cliffhanger. A white whale in American anime fandom for years, it was finally licensed for distribution in the United States in 2015. Don’t forget this fantastic mash-up between the Giant Gorg OP and the Perfect Strangers theme!

    Mazinger Edition Z

    In Mazinger Edition Z, cult-favorite director Yasuhiro Imagawa reimagines Go Nagai’s classic robot series to create a unified setting packed with pulpy thrills and conspiracies: The giant robot Mazinger has a past history involving the Greek god Zeus! The villain Baron Ashura is recontextualized as a deeply tragic villain with the best story arc in the series! We’re even given Tsubasa Nishikori, a Go Nagai staple who here becomes Imagawa’s best-written female character! 

  Mazinger Z is absolutely suffused with the spirit that made Imagawa’s earlier masterpiece Giant Robo so beloved and is an essential watch for any fan of that series. Not to mention that it ends with a cliffhanger brutal enough to make Go Nagai jealous.

  Other Discotek mech recommendations:

Dai-Guard

Gunbuster 2

Tetsujin 28

  Comedy

  Cromartie High School

    Anime comedies speak to the time that they were made, but there’s something uniquely timeless about Cromartie High School. You could say the show is funny because it’s set in a high school whose roster of delinquents includes a robot, Freddie Mercury, and a gorilla. But I think it goes even further than that: Cromartie High School is funny because its rowdy delinquents live lives just as boring as our own. When I watch Cromartie High School, I think not “what weirdos!” but “same, bro.” True in 2003, true in 2021.

  Other Discotek comedy recommendations:

Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan

Cat Girl Nuku Nuku

Golden Boy

Samurai Pizza Cats

  Drama

  Key the Metal Idol

    Key the Metal Idol is a truly weird series. Directed and written by Hiroaki Sato, one of three animation directors who brought anime film masterpiece Akira to life, it’s the story of an android tasked by her creator to become human by making 30,000 friends. It’s a series that skewers the entertainment industry but is also loaded down with science fiction exposition. It’s a series that’s deeply in love with the work of David Lynch. Key the Metal Idol is flawed and idiosyncratic, but it’s also a genre-busting original far ahead of its time. And the opening credit sequence rules.

  The Twelve Kingdoms

    Fantasy anime are a dime a dozen these days, but for my money, no recent title comes close to The Twelve Kingdoms. The series has its share of magical creatures, epic duels, and even more elaborate fantasy worldbuilding than you can shake a sword at. But most of all, it’s a story about people and growth. Twelve Kingdoms puts its cast of scared teenagers in a crucible and subjects them to intense pressure until those teenagers realize, to their shock and genuine awe, that they can handle anything the world throws at them. Twelve Kingdoms deserves consideration along with Berserk as one of the greatest works of epic fantasy that animation has to offer.

  Other Discotek drama recommendations:

Hajime no Ippo: The Fighting!

Honey and Clover

Kaiba

True Tears

  What are your favorite older anime? Is there an anime BluRay or DVD you treasure most? Let us know in the comments!

    Adam W is a Features Writer at Crunchyroll. When he is not evangelizing Kaiba to his friends and neighbors, he sporadically contributes with a loose group of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? You can find him on Twitter at:@wendeego

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a feature, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Adam Wescott

[maniacalmagician]

EVERHOOD: Pinocchio in Psychedelic Purgatory: the Rock Opera Adventure. OR: I walked backwards into hell, and felt euphoria as I became privvy to the Divine Truths

Hello tumblr people. I’ve been Away. I played a game recently and I wanted to talk about it.   damnit i really wanted to put pictures into this mini essay. ive been away from this garbage site for too long, i dont know how to do it lol.  ok anyway    First, I want to say to the developers and anyone else that this has quickly become one of my all time favorite games. Currently writing I have personally never felt a greater emotional attachment to an experience with a piece of software. Perhaps it is the extreme idiosyncratic nature of it, perhaps it is the deeply intriguing storyline, mostly however it is a combination of those in addition to some of the most outstanding psychedelic visuals I have ever seen, particularly in the finale sequence, and a killer soundtrack that combines many genres but focuses mostly to being as bangers as possible. I will be upfront and say this game comes with a boatload of trigger warnings, and thus the aforementioned idiosyncratic nature of it may not appeal to everyone, however I feel it necessary to indicate potential content warnings here as I would hate for people to be triggered: epilepsy is the big one, I myself have mild stutter based epilepsy and it didn't cause health problems or anything but my case is not universal. Anyway. That is a hard warning on epilepsy. I do it because The Incredibles 2 did not, lmao (that's an example of the kind of visuals that trigger me personally. An aside ) Other things include (spoilers): arachnophobia, misophonia (screeches, unsettling sounds), themes of death, immortality, suicide. Some game mechanics are not immediately intuitive and puzzles require some pretty clever but sometimes obtuse solutions. Direction is not always super clear either. People have complained of performance issues but I am leaving this review after playing the switch port, which played smoothly other than some awkwardly long loading times here and there. What I have played of PC so far runs smooth but as of writing, performance for me was fine (my pc is a lowend budget build). There is a difficulty to it. Even playing on easier modes, it can be quite unforgiving. If you're a fan of hard games (I am but I suck at them) and rhythm games (this is, uh, Not? That? Almost functions as half walking sim, half rhythm Game, dodgy shoot em up kinda feels. Truly unique gameplay I think. Constantly switches things up, too. But yes I also adore rhythm games, and yes i also do suck at those too.), half of it is that. The devs troll you with puzzles. It's truly a wild experience as it advertises, one of a kind. And yet, however.... This game wears, much like its heart,, its references, on its sleeve. If you are not into that kind of thing, you will probably be annoyed by this game. It also loves to delv into meta, as many puzzles and interactions are references to the UI of the game itself. Personally, I'm not wild about meta but I appreciate the ernestness here, so I'm willing to roll with whatever this game throws at me because every turn feels unexpected, fresh, funky, somber, and wildly intelligent, with boldly sincere ludonarrative choices, script and art direction. If you like Geno from super Mario Brothers, which, guess what, narrator here LOVES Geno from Super Mario Brothers, this is functionally the game you've always wanted that Nintendo could never make because Square has held Geno hostage in some kind of underground torture facility since 1995. Turns out they were rather right to do so, because when that puppet is out serving a higher authroity, he can be quite dangerous. Narrarively it borrows much from its sources but I would argue there's proof the writers have spent time thinking about the implications of their source materials worlds, and that reflection casts itself back to create this, experience that is wholly unique even if we know Red is Geno and "Gaster" (who was based on Uboa from Yume Nikki or princess mononokes forest spirits), and some kind of disco Marceline character who changes their identity frequently, skeleton brothers- well undead brothers, really - We have to remember in the creation and consumption of media sometimes, influences and archetypes are ever present and Everhood almost itself is a realm that would indulge in the idea of self referential material. It makes for this very Jungian experience of friendly archetypes we're familiar with, which works well with this setting of an immortal realm. Thats not to say the personalities we do meet aren't expounded upon - they are, heavily, and become uniquely their own. (Spoiler) if my theory is to be believed this world is a purgatory where people have made their own artificial vessels and as time has made them bored (though some seem to be having a good time) while typical strains of the Pinocchio myth are thrown in about questions of identity and death - and probably even more so towards Timothy Learys concept of the Ego Death, or the return to the collective soup of unconcious being. Undertale will probably always be a reccomendation even by its own reference to it so comparisons to it will be littered through here. It feels like the developers were emboldened by Toby Foxs spirit in game development (his creative energy is rather infectious) and shared many similar ideas, but this feels far more aimed towards a maturer audience (references to the things I mentioned in the trigger warning list) and focused on achieving this feeling that its predecesors have as well. Yume nikki. Lisa. Earthbound. Toby's games. super Mario rpg in its humor, Cat Soup in its psychedellic depressive vibes, all this cool indie cult classicy kinda mash up soup.  bizarre antics and then these characters who have surprising depth the further you go. It has been 6 years since Undertale came out, and the developers for Everhood have called a lot of the "what ifs" that fans of that game ask, an answer in their own game. (What if No Mercy was forced, for example? What if going against destiny is the wrong thing to do? Why is Death such a Bad Thing? etc!) And the further along you progress, the smarter the story gets, the more complex the narrative threads and characters. This game knows how to write compelling literature and that wasn't an element I expecting but god am I so glad for it. Literally my pea brain saw Red's design flipping around some frets on a streamers videocapture (shoutout to based fellow tampa native Charles White, thank you for being witty and having good taste and your Floridian comisery.) one night and went "oh i like." But the experience I got in exchange was, so, so much more than that (but the tetris effect won't let that image disappear from my eyelids quite yet haha.) I hear there are multiple endings and one requires a 3 hour long trek. I'm not done with the game at the time of reviewing. You bet your sweet ass I am going to find out the Ultimate Truth. I found a way to deal with some of the bullshit in other games, I may not be great at games but I want to see whatever imagery these guys put on screen so it compels me to seek out all the alternative routes. I am going to be following these developers projects very closely. If this is their debut, their next project will be ... ... I would hate to force expectations, like if you just made a magnum opus like this it'd be perfectly alright to retire, but I just once again want to say thank you to the developers for putting your heart on display for the world to see. I see it. I have dealt with struggles similar to the ones in the stories this game articulates about anxiety and depression, existentialism and dread, dissociation and all the heavy themes that were risky to include narratively - I'm certaintly glad you took the risks you did. May update this review as I get further along the story but yeah. Tl;dr: haha pinocchio myth done well make brain go brrr. 9.99999999999998/10. I am taking an infitisimal fraction of a point off because of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ spider in the monster maze. that thing was abhorrent, but I won't let it deter anyone else who wants to play.

[philologer-mosaic]

Hey! Fellow writer here! I was curious as to how you learn to write characters and /keep/ them in character without it being overly stereotypical or stiff? I've read your work and I'd love to learn from you ;^;

Hi! Glad to meet you, and wow, I am so flattered to be asked this. Happy to help out a fellow writer, and I’m always down for rambling about writing-related stuff! I’m not sure how helpful some of this will turn out to be, but here goes.

I’m not sure if you’re asking about characterisation in general including crafting OCs or specifically about writing canon characters, and a lot of this advice will be relevant to both, but I will say this straight off: I’ve seen a fair amount of quibbling about how fanfiction won’t teach you how to worldbuild and maybe that’s true, but there is nothing like writing fanfiction for teaching yourself how to craft character voices. Especially when your source material is a movie/ TV show/ whatever definition RWBY falls under. So: rewatch! Pay attention to all the little details. What turns of phrase do they use? How do they stand, how do they move? What’s their usual emotional range? Pick a line they speak, think about what descriptors you’d use to get across their tone of voice or their emotional state if you were writing the scene in a fic. When you’re writing new dialogue for them, try to hear it in the actor’s voice (if that’s a way your imagination works; some people don’t have great auditory imaginations. Mine can be kind of hit and miss!).

Rest of this advice is going under a cut, because this got looong!

With canon characters: start from what you know, then extrapolate. Especially with characters we don’t see all that much of, boil them down to a handful of personality traits/ ways-they-present-themself first, then consider what might underly them. And in reverse: take the things we know about their status and backstory, consider what that implies about them as a person.

So, Clover: I think I boiled him down to ‘confident, friendly, professional’, and what’s underlying ‘confidence’ is really obviously his semblance: he’s never had to hesitate about anything, he always knows he can rely on himself. So in his internal monologue, he’s not going to second-guess his decisions. He calls Qrow out on deflecting compliments, so he’s good at reading people and also wants to help them; I assume that applies more broadly than just to Qrow. He’s leader of Ironwood’s flagship team of Specialists, and semblance or not I made the assumption he didn’t get there without working for it [that is an assumption, though! People less inclined to think well of Clover will make a different assumption, in-universe as well as out, and how he responds to that is also something to consider], so he’s got to be smart, dedicated, a good tactician, a good leader. And building from that: he’s smart and perceptive but we know he’s also loyal to the bitter end (very bitter); what sort of personality can we project that reconciles those two, what sort of person would respond like that? What I went with is that he trusts the system because he understands enough pieces of how/why it works that he trusts the bits he doesn’t understand are also created with the best interests of the people at heart. (Even when that’s really not true.) So then that’s a consistent philosophy-like thing that underlies a lot of how I write him: he understands the reasons for a lot of why things are how they are and then assumes the best of all the rest.

– This looks like a lot, now I’ve written it out. I thought all this out while working on the early chapters but I never put it some of it into words really. In coming up with the plot or story idea you’ll have made plenty of these assumptions and extrapolations already. Take a second look at them; take them further, find places to link them together or pit them against each other.

And remember, these are your interpretations. There’s not a right or wrong way to flesh these out. Work with semi-canon stuff like the mangas or discard it as you wish; follow fanon or argue with it or throw it out entirely. I interpreted Yang as ‘normal outgoing teenage girl in a non-homophobic world’ and wrote her as having dated people from Signal before she got to Beacon; the other day I came across a tumblr post interpreting her as “a rural lesbian”, by which standard she definitely didn’t have any romantic experience before canon; they’re both entirely plausible takes! Where we don’t know stuff for sure, slot in whatever your story needs, or whatever you think seems interesting. I settled on Clover’s backstory for Soldier, Spy mostly by going ‘ok, what’s an interesting way to contrast him with Qrow?’ And in some of my other fic ideas, he’s different.

Limited third person perspective (or first person, if you can pull if off) is the best for dropping in characterisation smoothly. Though I’m probably biased because I love it so much. Omniscient third person POV is when the narration’s impartial and uninvolved, and skips between person A’s thoughts and person B’s thoughts and pure description of what’s happening, objectively speaking; limited third person is – when the camera’s always over one person’s shoulder in a given scene. It’s less close in than first person, but we get the POV character’s thoughts and no others, we only see/notice what they notice and pay attention to, descriptions are coloured by the way the POV character thinks about the world. I don’t want to be setting you homework, but, a neat writing exercise, if you want it: pick an object, place or person, and consider how two different characters would see it differently. Write those two descriptions. For fun, pick something that at least one of the characters is going to really look down on or dislike parts of! (Qrow’s snark is so much fun.)

This is cynical, but: people lie to themselves a lot. When you put yourself into a character’s head, they’re going to be telling themself a narrative in which what they’re doing is the best thing to do and makes them a good person. (With a few exceptions, the big ones being depression- and anxiety-brain, which instead do their best to convince you you’re the worst.) Get your characters to justify themselves to you.

Goals, motivations, priorities. It feels like a massive oversight to write about how to characters and leave that one out, but honestly I can’t think of anything I can say here that hasn’t been covered better by tons of other writing advice. [Incidentally: https://www.writersdigest.com/ . Subscribe to their email newsletter, it’s free, they will try to get you to buy their how-to courses but there’s no need to, the website has all kinds of articles about the craft and details of writing and the newsletter will send you all the new ones plus curated picks of what’s already there. And also: https://springhole.net/writing/index.html . There’s some stuff specific to fanfic in there, and also general writing advice.] Just: keep it in mind.

Related to that, but a separate thing and one that I haven’t seen other writing advice talk about so much: how does the character try to achieve their goals? What are their skills and resources? And more than that, what’s their preferred approach? In the simplest terms. It’s a matter of mindset, and what options they see as available to them. So the things I would keep in mind for this are: Who’s got social skills/ is good at thinking in social terms, and who isn’t/doesn’t? (Not just interpersonally speaking. James “not really concerned about my reputation” Ironwood is a good example of a character who always thinks in terms of hard power over soft power; even when public opinion is an important strategic consideration he only thinks about it in the broadest and most simplified strokes.) Who would rather work within the system, and who prefers to do an end-run around it? (That doesn’t have to correlate with who’s actually got power, though obviously there are trends. I’m writing Clover as tending to take charge even when he officially shouldn’t because he’s more concerned with solving the problem than with rank, and that’s a case of circumventing the system, it’s one of the things he’s got in common with Qrow.) Who’s more analytical about their approach and what they’re trying to do (which means their failure mode is overthinking and decision paralysis) and who reacts with their gut instinct (which means their failure mode is getting in over their head)?

… I could talk about this one at length. There’s a whole framework I use to categorise characters in this way (I came across it in, of all things, the flavourtext of a supplement to an RPG no one’s ever heard of and it just stuck with me, and I’ve made it my own in the years since) and I could go into all sorts of detail about how it works/ what it means. But I think this is enough to be getting on with, on that topic. If you want to know more, send me another ask? But no one else talks about this thing in writing advice, it might be completely orthogonal to the writing process of anyone but me.

So! Related to the topic of characters’ skillsets, a really great tip I can’t remember where I picked up: how do you write someone who’s smarter/wittier/better at tactics than you? Spend minutes or hours turning something over in your head that the character is going to come up with in seconds. The great advantage of writing: it’s so much easier to be eloquent when you’ve got time to think. [If you had asked me this question in person you would have got ‘i don’t know?’ and then half an hour later I would have thought of half of this stuff and kicked myself. A week and change later, you’re getting the other half too :p ]

And lastly: you said you were worried about your writing getting “overly stereotypical”. And my immediate response to that was stereotypes bad, yes, but archetypes great. The difference being: stereotypes are lazy and offensive writing that let ‘membership of a social category’ stand in for ‘actual characterisation’ and if you’re asking for advice on characterisation you’re obviously too thoughtful to commit them; archetypes are pre-made sketched-out personalities that you can take as your own and flesh out into your own thing. Tropes are tools. No one ever said ‘They were roommates? Ugh, how unoriginal’. By the same token, ‘lone wolf who pretends he’s fine and doesn’t dare trust anyone no matter how much he secretly wants to’ is a fantastic trope that exists for good reason, the CRWBY used it for good reason, and when we found out Qrow’s semblance I went yes please I will have some of all that angst and then laughed at myself because when it comes to fictional characters I have A Type. I’m pretty sure I’ve never written the exact scenario ‘pushes themself way too hard and passes out, wakes up in unexpected safety and immediately condemns themself for not sticking it out longer’ before the opening of Soldier, Spy, but I know I’ve come up with plenty of things that were like it, and if they’d made it to a state of publication you’d be able to see that.

It’s like artists using references. Just because they looked up how to draw that hand and that pose doesn’t mean the final product’s not their own. There’s no reason not to start with your ideas of the character (no matter how ‘stereotypical’ they feel) or a collection of traits you’ve grabbed from other characters that seem like they’d fit – or, for OCs, an MBTI type or a roleplaying class/background combo or one of these or some other personality type you feel like you can find your way around the basics of – and just take it from there. When you start writing/outlining/daydreaming-about-ideas you’ll run into scenarios/setups you can’t copy across from but you can see what responses might come up, and that’s how the template becomes your own unique iteration of it.

… Because really all writing advice does come down to: just write. In your head or on the page, try things out, see what works, see how it goes. I’ve been doing this a long time; most of it never made it to words on a page, let alone to the internet at large. Read across genres, read things people write about themselves and how they live and think and feel, and just – go for it.

I hope this helps! Once again, I was really glad to be asked; feel free to ask me to elaborate on any of this, or about anything else you want advice about. I wish you all the best in your future writing!

[hereisisa]

So I just read a statement from a fan claiming the ending is made for children and that the ending is joyful? Huh wtf did I miss something. I call bs

Ok I’ve answered to a similar ask in a short way but I keep getting similar messages so I guess I’ll sit down and write more on the subject.

Let’s say there are 3 ways to see this movie:

- occasional viewers’ way. They take their children to the movies once, they like it or not, they all think there are too many songs, and forget about it right after.

- the stans’ way. The ones who excuse whatever smart or stupid decision the writers and disney wanted, and everything is perfect, everything makes sense, everythins is right for the characters just like they wrote it (and if it’s not they’ll force themselves to accept it, one way or another).

- the critics’ way. Find your inner critic, and run with it.

Guess where am I?

And mind you, I’m not considerind my opinion of the same value as a movies’ critic, cause I’m not an expert, but as a fan I certanly know the characters and that’s why I think my opinion is valid too.

That said....

I’m not gonna waste time on the “occasional viewers”, even if THEY are the majority and their opinions on the movie are frequently surprising and interesting...simply because they’re not here, on tumblr, to discuss the movie.

The Stans. I do not want to offend them, this has to be clear, but the blind acceptance of whatever Jenn+Chris wrote doesn’t sit well with me.

I’ve never shipped canon, I don’t care about what the majority think, I do not feel the need to belong to a big group of people who share the same mindset.Once I’ve found those 2-3 people I agree with, my social media life is complete.

What I do not like about stans is the “If you don’t like it then you didn’t understand the movie or you don’t understand the characters” point of view.

Like acceptance of canon put them on a pedestal of omniscience in everything Frozen-related.

So this attitude generally pisses me off, but I usually ignore it and move on with my fandom life.

Now, let’s go back to your question: the end is good for children and joyful. Oh boy.

Let’s see it first from the STANS’ pov:

Elsa is free, runs free on a free sea, free of her burdens, making magic, talking to natives, and without a care in the world. She smiles. It means she’s happy and as a viewer I have to be happy too.Anna is a Queen, she’s smiling. It surely mean this is what she always wanted it, and she doesn’t care if her sister doesn’t live with her cause she can always write her a letter, right? Plus, she’s engaged omg omg omg omg!!!!!! Who cares about anything else????

There is an happy music, everybody smiles, let’s be happy!

To me, this is the superficial and dumb way to see it. Eating up whatever disney cooked for us, and saying thanks at the end.

It works for some children, the ones who “ok....the movie was sad, but they smile so...I guess it’s ok?” and the stans. Most kids are even smarter than that.

My way to see it:

Elsa smiles: of course, why on earth would Disney make a movie where the lead character is depressed at the end? lol They want me to believe this is an happy ending, they wouldn’t write her troubled or sad. I hope they’re not saying I should be happy cause Elsa is happy....Google the word “retcon” and see how it applies to this movie.

Elsa is free: she was free already in the first movie, after “let it go”, now she simply knows where her magic comes from. Good thing, but it doesn’t make her “more free”, it gives her more knowledge. And of course let’s ignore how this “freedom” comes at other people’s expenses.

Elsa is happy: why? Because her parents died for her?In the end she’s running free, on the free sea exactly where her parents DIED? AHAHAHAH THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL I’M SO HAPPY!!! Elsa smiles so let’s be happy!!!! Because she doesn’t have responsabilities anymore? YAY! She can wake up and talk to squirrels and go for her run! Wow! Who needs a job? (what a good message for kids!)Because she she is free to not care about anything else but herself and her magic?

This is the good message for children?

“Accept and show yourself” RIGHT.

But also:

“Forget your responsabilities”“If your parents died for you it’s ok because hey you were a gift so who cares if they died cause you couldn’t control your gift!”“Follow a voice for all the movie ignoring your sister and don’t pay any permanent consequence!” What an happy life! “Leave your family behind, they’ll be there to pick up the pieces while you’ll be freeeeee”AHAHAHAHA who cares right? Elsa is smiling and she’ so happy so I’m so happy!

Just because the movie ignores the consequences, I don’t have to ignore them too. I have a mind, and I use it. I’m not a parrot.

And for ONE good message the kids may get, there are way more that are problematic, and are ignored.Again, I’m not dumb I have a critic mind and I can’t ignore them.

Anna is Queen: Not once, not even once in her life she mentioned the fact that she wanted this. She didn’t have a choice, she became Queen cause she was the SPARE, and this is her destiny. Not her choice. Congrats!! I’M SO HAPPY!!!

Anna is alone: she’s not! she’s a boyfriend she can’t even comunicate with!! That’s all she need!! Plus it’s not like she needs a family! She has a dick now! It’s all she wanted! We saw her playing with dolls and all Anna wanted was a marriage! She would have married the first person who asked and she almost did!! And now she will!! I’M SO HAPPY!!!!If this movie made one thing clear to me, is that Anna would litterally marry the first one who ask her cause getting married it’s her dream. Period. I’M SO HAPPY FOR HER THIS IS PERFECT!!!

Anna can see her sister: Suuuuure, when she’s done playing with squirrels or being a pillar of a METHAPHORIC BRIDGE she may travel back to Arendelle once in a while, and then go back to live in the glacier where she almost died happily alone, talking to spirits and snow creatures! What an HAPPY LIFE! Anna wants this. Sure. Because Anna would DIE for Elsa and if this is what makes Elsa happy, then Anna would accept it.

Nothing and no one will ever convince me that this is what Anna would choose,  if ONLY SHE COULD HAVE A CHOICE!

I could go on and on for days, but you get the point, anon??????

If we accept the “happiness” these character show on their faces at the end as a dogma, without questioning WHY they are happy with a critic mind, if we ignore the RETCONS, the plot holes, the negative messages, the cut or changed storylines.....well yes they seem to be happy at the end.

But can you?

I can’t.

Accepting this would mean I’ll have to ignore everything I know and I like about these characters from the first movies and the books, and I love them too much to do that.

There are good things in this movie, like the origins of Elsa’s powers, some Elsa+Anna scenes, but the end is not one of them.

It is joyful, if you ignore dozens of things (I’ve listed ONLY A FEW).

It has ONE good message for kids (if you ignore all the negative ones).

But I’m not a stan, and I will not do it.

[talesfantastic]

Mun Things and Fandom Notes

about the mun. fill this out  &  tag a few people you’d like to get to know better !

tagged by the lovely @vetlanwrites tysm tagging some people I haven’t tagged before: @amalgammuses, @animus-inspire​, @kychchc​, @rotinthedark, @warofthebeasts & YOU!

name: my name is [ loud music interrupts ] nickname:  you can call me Kat or KF! preferred pronouns: she/her age range:  30+ favorite animal:  cats pets: cat and a dog tattoos/piercings: I had my ears pierced several times and they won’t stay pierced so I gave up on anything -shrug- star sign: virgo! I’m an August bby how long have you been in this fandom?: doing just the ones I currently have muses for, and not the ones I’ve only talked about -

Dragonball(Z) - I’ve been writing in DBZ since... oh geez, the late 90′s? I think the first fic I ever posted was DBZ and it was around that time. I didn’t start rping it until like, early 00′s though.

Final Fantasy - I actually dabbled in 9 a little bit around the time it came out in ‘00 (my friend had it!) but I wouldn’t say I really did much until I really got into 7, and that was around... geez, ‘05? I rped it a little with a friend around then but I didn’t really start writing it much until nearly ‘10. #latetotheparty Yet I do consider it my “home” fandom - I always come back to it.

Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons - early ‘00s! My first HM/SoS game was Friends of Mineral Town on my trusty GBA and I love it so much to this day. SO excited for the remake!

Legend of Zelda - I really, really loved Ocarina of Time from the get-go when I got it on the N64 in ‘98 (I got it again for the GameCube and the 3DS and would totally buy it for the Switch, just sayin.) Majora’s Mask creeped me out a bit and was stressful but I liked it, too. And then of course later titles like Twilight Princess were just... -chef’s kiss- but I didn’t really dig into the fandom until ‘10-’11 when I started rping Link with a friend and briefly tried joining a forum rp group (shoutout to ZRPG!) with an OC

Marvel Cinematic Universe - I want to say around ‘12, when Avengers came out? Like, I’d seen Iron Man but I didn’t really dig into it until then.

Pokémon - late 90′s / early 00′s because I first started my Pkmn journey playing Gold and Crystal. While I didn’t write fanfic or rp it, I definitely had headcanons and a lot of feels.

Sailor Moon - early 90′s! I first watched the anime as it came out, though I’ve since forgotten most of that and only have the manga/crystal in my head to run interpretations off of. It was so pretty tho.

Stardew Valley - a newer fandom for me, I really only started getting “into” it about a year ago, but man... I love it, I really do

Star Wars - despite early access to the OT as a kidlet, I didn’t actually get “into” Star Wars until the Prequels in ‘99 (fite me) when I fell in love with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and promptly, voraciously, dove into fixit and timetravel fanfic. By the time KOTOR came out in ‘03 I was hooked.

Threads of Fate - I think I got into this one on the ground floor, so to speak. My friend had just gotten it and I borrowed it from her and my brother’s PS1 in ‘00 and that was it, I was in love.

why did you choose this specific character/s?:  under a cut bc I have like... nearly 30 muses now

I’m doing alphabetical order (by fandom / first name) bc it’s just easier to go down my list:

tl;dr I picked them all because I love them. Read on to find out why. Click their names to read their bios!

Dragonball Z

Vegeta - oh man, actually one of the first characters I ever rp’d or wrote in fic, and that’s saying something. I picked him because I love him. He’s an absolute ass, but he grows so much throughout Z. (I have yet to see Super, hoping to one day remedy that but we’ll see!) I guess I picked him up for nostalgia’s sake? I really love the character and think there’s a lot of growth yet to see buried under that pride and ego. If you can unearth it.

Final Fantasy

Angeal Hewley (FF7) - actually my first muse on Tumblr, back in... oh, 2013? The blog has been deleted, but he was the first muse I ever played seriously out of FF7. There’s parts of Angeal that really resonate with me, enough that - when I was a less experienced writer - I got tangled up in him a bit too much, made him a bit too personal, and I realized I had to take a step back from writing him. But I love Angeal, and after some time had passed, having written him in various fics, I’ve felt confident adding him... even if I haven’t done anything with him here yet.

Cait Sith (FF7) - I know a lot of people see Cait Sith as all sorts of negative things, but frankly I adore the little guy. And I guess I took him on partially because I couldn’t take Reeve on and not take Cait on, but partially because I see so much in him that could be interesting to explore and would really, really love to. (Any Reeve’s or AVALANCHE - or Turks! - come at me!)

Chaos (FF7) - I picked Chaos up on a whim, as far as Tumblr goes. I really enjoy rping him/Vincent off Tumblr and writing him in fics, and I suppose I just wanted to present a different side of him than I usually see. I’ve even had a thread that has a great deal of promise so I think it was worth it.

Genesis Rhapsodos (FF7) - my third FF7 blog, I think? It’s still up, though obviously not in use, just because I’d put so much work into it. I really adore Genesis, and love writing him. I love his sass and flare, but I love that he’s deeper than all the fire and flamboyance, if you’re willing to look past that. I’m lucky that I’ve had some lovely partners to explore him with, though I’d still kill for an Angeal to throw him at. XD Or a Sephiroth, for that matter.

Lazard Deusericus (FF7) - Lazard, my second FF7 blog and an unexpected love. I picked him up because I had recently started writing him in earnest with an off-Tumblr rp partner ( @thegeeksqueaks ) and was really enjoying him, and hadn’t seen him on Tumblr yet so thought I might get more partners that way. (It turned out there were a couple but they were inactive.) His first blog was accidentally deleted - over five years worth of character development and relationships - so after briefly working him up again solo I brought him over here. He’s not getting the same level of attention but it’s worth it not to be juggling blogs.

Reeve Tuesti (FF7) - pre-Remake, most of the Reeve rpers had gone inactive (shoutout to the fabulous @engineering-robotics and @animus-inspire for coming back!) and just... I love the character too much not to see him in the RPC. Of course, I love to write him period myself so I’d love more threads there but regardless he’s so much fun.

Tristan Pierce (FF7 OC) - Triiiiiiiiiis. Tristan was actually born as an NPC off of Lazard’s blog, who took a life on his own because he was just... so full of life. He actually had his own blog, too! I’ve barely done anything with him here, but I still keep him just because he gives me feels and he’s just neat. (He does still appear in the background of Lazard’s threads though.)

Harvest Moon / Story of Seasons

Iris (SoS) - I actually picked up Iris as a muse first for a fantastic HM/SoS/SDV/etc rp group I’m in a couple years ago, and liked playing her so much I thought I’d bring her here. Elegant lady novelist? Yes please.

Neil (ANB) - unlike Iris and Trent, I haven’t written Neil anywhere else, but he’s my love from A New Beginning and just... he seems like he’d be fun to write? I’d love to flesh him out.

Doctor/Trent (FoMT/MFoMT; DS/CUTE) - Trent, like Iris, is one I write for the rp group and I legit picked him up because of the opportunity for h/c I am not sorry. But seriously though, he’s grown on me so much and I love my awkward doctor.

Legend of Zelda

Midna (Twilight Princess) - TP is one of my absolute favorite Zelda games, and Midna a favorite character. There’s just so much to her you don’t get to see that I was really hoping to get to dig into, still hope one day to. We’ll see. Worth keeping on roster.

Revali (Breath of the Wild) - my newest addition! I keep saying in complete seriousness “Genesis with more feathers” but seriously, I may have a type? I love him so much and wanted to see more of him, and by god if I have to do it myself so be it. (I have been playing a ton of BOTW lately which probably has a lot to do with it. XD)

Sheik (Ocarina of Time) - I love them so much. OoT didn’t have a ton of character building, but the sheer implications of the character speaks volumes that I want to explore. I’m lucky enough to be getting the chance to, too.

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Tony Stark - did I mention I have a type? I feel he makes a good argument for it. I originally picked Tony up because I just fell head over heels for the character in the first couple Iron Man movies + Avengers. I... am less in love with him in the later movies, not gonna lie, and am so far behind on lore that I’m considering dropping him. But yeah, originally picked him up just because he had so much potential. Thx Disney, great job there.

Pokémon (gameverse)

Lily Hart (HG/SS OC) - another OC of mine, this time for a fandom that... I only really know through the games, as opposed to manga/anime. I picked her up because I really liked the idea of doing events or little ask things with her, and still may try to initiate some more of those. We’ll see?

Sailor Moon (manga/Crystal)

Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury - I actually picked Ami up because of a plot with @magicalxgirlsxrp where we were splitting up the Inners and the Shitennou for some mega threads. XD But yeah, I do like her. Even if she’s a challenge to write sometimes because she’s very much not like me, and very much smarter.

Kunzite - Kunzite I have always loved, always, and I’ve had him on here because I really wanted to explore him more. I love him even more after the teasing in Crystal of what might have been, be still my shippy heart.

Mamoru Chiba/Endymion/Tuxedo Mask - super fond of Mamoru, too; I didn’t care for him so much in the 90′s anime, but in the manga and Crystal I really became more fond. I do a few things differently, I think, but don’t we all? I picked him up for that very reason, in fact.

Minako Aino/Sailor Venus - Minako is really interesting to me because there’s so much more to her than her airheaded, bubbly persona that fits her like a glove... but is just as superficial. I mean, she’s sunny and happy but she’s also the OG Senshi, the leader of the Inners, a powerful, commanding fighter - she’s complex, and I really wanted to explore that + getting to have fun with her bubbliness.

Nephrite - another picked up from @magicalxgirlsxrp‘s enabling. But I do find him really interesting so it works out well. Haven’t done a lot with him, but we have plans. Plans I’m looking forward to.

Stardew Valley

M. Rasmodius - I knew I really wanted to do something with SDV, once I got to playing it, but I wasn’t sure who. I thought about Sebastian and Elliot, but already had interacted with a couple who were just fantastic. So instead, I did a good fallback of mine - because I never, ever get tired of playing mages. Ever. XD

Star Wars

HK-47 (KOTOR) - the attitude. I wanted to write HK entirely because of the scorching levels of sass from this droid.

Liana Raine (SWTOR f!JC) - the Jedi Consular storyline is one of my favorites out of all of SWTOR (tied with the Inquisitor, but I’m revamping her) and I really just wanted to keep playing with it even once I’d done the dedicated storyline.

Revan (KOTOR LS!F) - give me female Revan you cowards. -ahem- I have feels about Revan, okay? I love her so, so much - she even had her own blog, I love her that much. I would absolutely love to do something more with her but I will hold on to her if for no other reason than to make sure at least one black, female Revan exists in the world. (I want all the timetravel and crossover threads, hit me up.)

Tharan Cedrax (SWTOR) - another for attitude, really, and also definitely my type. XD He’s charming, he’s snarky, he’s sassy, he’s brilliant... I very much like Tharan and really felt he, like most of the companions, deserved more screentime. So, I’m here to give it to him.

Threads of Fate (Dewprism)

Duke - he’s so cool. I mean, he’s a dork, but his powers are amazing and he’s just a fun, incredibly upbeat character to play. And well, anything to spread my love of that teeny fandom.

Fancy Mel - Mel hits all the sweet spots for a mage character. She’s got flavor, she’s got amazing powers, and she had room to create a fantastic backstory with amazing crossover potential. Is she a bit OP? Yes. But she has no intention of using it for anything but her amusement/whimsy.

Rod the Bladestar - I love Rod. I love his oddly genteel manners, I love how he’s unwittingly sexist but quickly cleans up his act when put straight, I love how driven and passionate he is. Could do without such a typically-Square-outfit, but you can’t have everything. (In the right artists’ hands, he might even be pretty amazing, actually.)

Did you read all of that? Amazing. Any of them strike your interest? Hmu and maybe we could plot a thread! :eyes:

Also I sincerely apologize to mobile users who had to read all that because Tumblr can’t get it’s act together.

[gritsandbrits]

Why I hate Carlie Cooper (Spider-Man Rant)

So I've been going around sites such as CBR, Reddit, Tumblr and Deviantart to see what people's opinions were on Carlie Cooper, and the results were mixed at best. As many other fans of the webcrawling hoodlum, I have my share of gripes with her character and this chapter explains why Carlie is the absolute worst Spider Man love interest.

Sour Introduction

Carlie was introduced too soon and too quickly, just after OMD. The travesty already left a sour taste in our mouthes, but when she was introduced showing Mary Jane the door, this scene not only spat in the face of MJ fans and Pete x MJ shippers, but also made the rest of us go, "QUESADA!!!" This made the replacement girlfriend thing very obvious. Marvel made it clear that MJ is gone and Carlie was here to stay.

Notable character traits were ripped off from other love interests

Many readers caught on that the core traits Carlie displayed in her time in the comics were established within previous love interests. Keep in mind, two characters sharing similar attributes isn't wrong. My own OC, Lucy, shares Urusla Ditkovich's love of baking and apparent shyness, and having powers like Sophia Sanduval, but other than that she is nothing like the latter two in terms of personality, looks and personal history. But this is not about my OC.

Carlie has aspects that are blatantly ripped off from other love interests, and they happen to be their good or recognizable traits. This may or may not be intentional on the writers part but merely a product of trying and failing to develop her as a character. Let me run down the list for you.

• Nerdy, adorable and the supposed "regular girl": Debra Whitman

• Dark past involving some serious daddy issues: Mary Jane Watson

They couldn't have given her mommy issues or problems with authority figures in general. To be fair, comic books are drenched with characters with daddy issues. Cyclops is the walking example. 

• Idolized within the comics and sometimes praised as "The One" for Peter: Gwen Stacy

As opposed to in fan's memories, some point out that Gwen Stacy hated Spider Man. That's another sad thing about her death: she died hating the guy she loved.

• Dad was a cop: Gwen

To justify Carlie's relationship with Gwen, they made her dad a cop. Later it was revealed that he wasn't a cop nor a good man for that matter. This goes back to the daddy issues thing as we are supposed to feel bad for her, but it came across as cheap and not genuinely tragic as MJ's abusive past. Also, Carlie has a missing mother like Gwen.

• Served as an informant on the force: Jean DeWolff

Whereas Jean had an interesting dynamic with Spider-Man, Carlie's dynamuc seems forced in, rationalized as sharing his love of science. Everything Carlie does could have easily been solved by Spider Man or any of his allies, even Greer Grant.

• Peter vs Spider-Man conflict: Black Cat

Carlie was briefly torn between Parker and Spider Man after discovering the big secret. It took Felicia decades in real time and a few years in comic book time for her to accept Parker but by then he had already moved on to MJ and BC decided to move on as well.

• Fell in love with Parker persona: Gwen, MJ, Sophia from Marvel Adventures

Gwen hated Spider Man though, but she fell in love with Peter. MJ preferred plain old Peter and accepted Spider Man. Sophia played an active role in both Peter's civilian and superhero lives and used her mutant ability to talk to animals to help.

• Personality included being a tsundere: Gwen, and Michelle Gonzales before she went nuts

• Had an interest in science: Gwen

NOTICING A PATTERN HERE!?

• Friends with Harry: Gwen Stacy (again)

• Was depicted as blonde and began with a minor crush on Parker: GWEN STACY!!!

Wow is it just me or do the writers at Marvel lowkey want to resurrect Gwen Stacy? Damn, just let the lady rest in peace!

• Pushed as Peter's intellectual equal: Debra (give us two points for Debby)

• Supposed to have a fun, sociable personality: MJ

Did I mention that Carlie at one time was depicted with red hair with a very similar hairstyle to MJ? They weren't even trying to be subtle with the replacement thing.

• Loves both Spider Man and Peter: MJ  also an inversion of Black Cat who only really likes Spidey (she was kinda getting along with Peter but that never took off)

• Went from meek and submissive doormat to assertive and optimistic action girl: Betty Brant

• Named after a particular person given the context behind it: Joe Quesada named her after his daughter

From what I heard, Joe's daughter was around three years old when he shat out OMD. That is very creepy, as if he wants his toddler to be with a fictional character that bad.

When Doc Ock impersonated as Peter after his supposed death, Carlie was the only cast member out of the whole Marvel universe to correctly figure out that Doc!Peter was a faker.

Mary Jane and Aunt May were used to villains dressing up as Peter (and even beat up a few of them), but for some odd reason none of them could figure out the Dcotor Octopus was posing as him. 

Depsite MJ being his main love interest and Aunt May having raised him from a kid, they could not have told the real Peter from an impostor.

THE FANTASTIC FOUR AND THE AVENGERS COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT DEPSITE WORKING WITH PETER FOR YEARS!!!!!

Yet is was the great detective work of Ms. Carlie Cooper that was able to determine that Doctor Octopus was using Peter's body to do some bad things. You know, like a villain.

Speaking of the Doctor, Dan Slott often used him a lot in his stories to the point that fans believe that Doc Ock was becoming a bit of a Villain Sue. And their arguments were sadly proven right later on, but back onto Carlie...

The way she did this was by following Spider Man's money trail to see how he could afford expensive equilment and minions  (excuse me, employees) and it leads right to Doc Ock.

The simple fact that one of Spider Man's smartest foes was stupid enough to not cover his tracks showed that something had to be altered just to make Carlie look good. What was that something? Taking basic common sense out of the Marvel Universe so that Carlie could play Miss Marple!

When Carlie got infected with Goblin Serum and turned into Monster (the lamest villain name since Menace), she was the only person to ever resist its brainwashing effects. She gets some scars around her eyes but is otherwise fully cured and that experience is enough to make her leave the world of Spider Man forever.

In the story arc Spider Island, Carlie broke up with Peter just because he didn't tell her he was Spider Man. Alternatively MJ got closer to Peter, which made fans everywhere sigh with relief. This also proves how very little Carlie seems to care about Peter's side of the story.

Also in Spider Island she used her new powers to play around while MJ used hers to actually help people. When a supermodel is better at heroics than a police officer/forensic scientist, then you know something is wrong.

Mary Jane stayed with Peter when she found out, in fact she already knew it was him but didn't confront him because she didn't think of herself as a good confidante and feared Peter would lie to her but she understood why.

It was implied in the comics and stated by old writers that, had Gwen not been killed off she would have eventually found out about Peter being Spider man and stayed with him; they would have even gotten married.

Carlie managed to pop up in other Marvel titles such as The Punisher even though she was irrelevant to the plot, and the writers claim that she was "the sanest member of the cast." This was after her irresponsible antics during Spider Island.

Character shilling when not appropriate

One of Carlie's major problems was how she was pushed as being perfect for Peter without getting to know him. It became even more egregious when other characters started pushing Carlie as perfect, such as Auny May and Harry Osborn.

Mary Jane told Peter that he needed to hook up with Carlie, which was awkward coming from a woman who was married to him for twenty years.

Peter himself couldn't stop gushing over how perfect Carlie was for him, and he spent a lot of time in angst over how undeserving he was of their lust - I mean love.

Everyone, from Harry Osborn to Black Cat said that Carlie was perfect for Peter. I get Harry because he was friends with her, but Black Cat???? The real clencher was that Felicia didn't even know who Carlie was at the time.

No wonder she turned crazy at the end.

SPEAKING OF CRAZY!

Characters personalities were changed in order to make Carlie a total saint

For example, Michelle Gonzales (another hated Spidey Love Interest) used to be a regular old tsundere. Sure she had problems of her own as a character, but once Carlie was introduced her aggressive trait was exaggerated to violent extremes and Michelle begins abusing Peter. If that's not enough she eventually gets RAPED by the Chameleon of all people. The same Chameleon who got his ass beat by Mary Jane and verbally pawned by Aunt May for impersonating Peter.

No matter how Marvel tried to say it, no matter how bitchy she was, Michelle got raped and Chameleon got off scot-free.

I mean he didn't force himself on her just shapeshifted as Peter and had sex with her. Apparently shapeshifters can't be charged with rape as long as it's consensual.

In The Many Loves of Spider Man, Gwen Stacy was presented as a worry wart which goes against her original characterization as a proto-Tsundere. Carlie was presented as a gutsy young girl, which made her look smarter than the supposed science girl Gwen was.

Gets mad at Peter for the dumbest reasons

When Peter had to go on a mission for the Future Foundation (aka the Fantastic Four), he told Carlie that he was going out of town for Horizon Labs, the place he had worked for before becoming Tony Stank 2.0.

Naturally, Carlie found out that Peter had lied to her and during one of her roller derby competitions, ends up beating up a rival skater so badly that she was suspended for the rest kf the game.  Afterwards, her team took her out for a drink to calm her down and she gets drunk and goes to a tattoo parlor.

Deciding to get back at Peter, she decided to get an Osborn tattoo, more specifically a Green Goblin.

This was the man that murdered her childhood friend, Peter's first girlfriend and first true love (and to some fans his only true love).

This was the man that ended the Silver Age of Comic Books.

This was the man who killed innocent people just to get what he want.

This was the man who subjected his son and other people to so much pain, misery and sorrow because of his actions, some of which he still had yet to answer for.

But yet.....

You decide to get a tramp stamp of Green Goblin all to spite Peter because he lied to keep you separate from his superhero life?

I'm surprised that everyone who ever did a rant on Carlie never brought this part up. This woman would go as far as to taint her own friend's memory by getting a tattoo of her killer, all just to spite a guy she barely knew for not even a year. And this guy loved her friend.

When Peter finally told Carlie the truth, she broke up with him in yhe most melodramatic way possible. She claimed that his life was a lie and that his Parker persona was "just a suit."

She was also upset that Mary Jane knew about it, even though MJ and Peter were friends far longer than she knew Peter, and he trusted MJ with that secret. Eventually, Carlie accepts the Spidey persona, leaving her with a good reason to hang out with Mary Jane.

I have problems with the above scene because Peter lied to protect her and to keep her out of a very dangerous lifestyle. Yet, she does not want to hear his side of the story and the writers fail to persuade the readers to sympathize with her. This scene also shows that she is a complete and utter hypocrite. She can keep secrets like the identity of the new Wraith (and unlike Vin and Ray she doesn't turn the new Wraith over to the police), yet Peter cannot lie to her for very good reasons.

Featured on "Many Loves of Spider Man" - when Carlie and Peter had not hooked up yet. 

At the time Carlie was still a minor character and not engaged in a romance with Peter. Yet for some odd reason she was featured on the cover with characters people grew up with and came to love.

Carlie was not featured in s single comic yet was immediately pushed as one of Peter's many loves. Debra should have been here, or Betty since she was his very first girlfriend. And how come it's called Many when the cover only has four? 🤔

Closing Statements

The positives of Carlie is that she was shown a lot more capable of handling herself in dangerous situations than MJ and Gwen, and even willing to pick up a gun. But MJ was never a traditional damsel in distress; the lady took boxing lessons from Captain America for God's Sake! OG Gwen was never a fighter in the first place and to be honest, she was supposed to be a tsundere. She had a personality, and no matter how people say that Gwen was a boring character who deserved to be killed off, she wasn't in need of no saving while she was alive.

Okay except for that one time.

Others say that Carlie was being unfairly judged because she wasn't like Mary Jane. In contrast, Sophia Sanduval wasn't like Mary Jane and people love her (assuming they know who she is). Sophia is regarded to be one of the best Spider Man love interests. Ursula wasn't Mary Jane and people love her; fans who watched the original trilogy preferred a Peter x Ursula romance because MJ was that bad. There are even people who watched Ultimate Spider Man that started to ship Aya with Peter based on a few ship tease scenes, and she wasn't MJ.

On Quotev, AO3 and right here on Wattpad, you have dozens if not hundreds of Peter Parker x OC fanfictions, many that are amazing and written by pretty talented people. OCs aren't canon in the first place, but the OCs I'd seen (talking about the well-defined ones here) aren't MJ and I have not seen one negative comment about OCs or their creators. In fact people love them because they demonstrate how you can have a unique and relatable love interest without copying canon characters.

Final Statements

Overall, the problems Carlie have are she has inconsistent characterization, tries so hard to be the Perfect Girl for Peter, and she is irrelevant to the plot. If you take away her core traits she just ends up being a flat, boring character.

In conclusion, Carlie is a textbook case of Relationship and Black Hole Sue, and should be used as an example of what not to do when creating love interests. The key is to develop a character over time and not spending so much on making her (or him if any of you prefer same-sex pairings) the perfect girl/man/whatever for Peter or whatever random character you plan on shipping with.

Anyways, that's all I have to say about Carlie. Yeah it was a lot of words but I wanted to show and tell why so many Spider Man fans do not like her. It's not that she replaced Mary Jane, it's because she tried way to hard to be so many different characters and her general unlikable attitude and the subtext behind her whole creation.

Thanks for whoever took the time to read this mess of a rant.

[lyfrassirrrrrrrr]

Trying Times

Chapter 3: Danger lurks begins you

I’m so sorry for the delay on chapter 3, I got some bad writers block! But I’m back now and ready to show chapter 3. Buckle up because it sure as hell is a ride.

Read from part 1 on tumblr here!

......

“Chaos.” Washington spat the word like poison had invaded his body,his eyes never leaving his kid- no, it wasn’t him anymore. The beast granted the General with a smirk as he circled him.

“Did you miss me George?” He sneered as he spun around on his toes, treating it as if it were a silly little game. His silly little game.

“You made a mistake by staying here Chaos. I won’t let you escape.” Washington drew closer to the boy, hoping to grab him, but Alex slapped his hand back and cackled.

“Just like you said you wouldn’t let me get away with claiming what's rightfully mine? Hmm?” He took pleasure in the pained expression the great George Washington gave as the words rolled off his tongue. “Relax George, I’m just here for a bit of fun.”

“I’ll relax when I know he’s still in there! You won’t be hurting these children!” His voice wavered as he began to summon a sword of crystals, though Chaos refused to pay any more attention to him; instead, it drew a dagger and fiddled with it.

“Oh please,” He drawled out as he set his gaze on Washington once more, then slowly turning to stare at the other junior heroes. He gave an amused look as he drew closer to inspect them. “You have a nice group here George, what a shame they’ll see the world they swore to protect fall, eh?” It turned to George with a malicious grin.

“Don’t touch them!” He shouted as he threw a crystal at the beast’s arm. It gave a cry of pain, which quickly turned into a laughing fit, much to the group’s horror.

“My my, of course Georgie. I don’t plan on eradicating you lot just yet,” he said, walking back, never looking away from the bunch. He disregarded his bleeding arm. A part of George wanted to run to him and tend to the wound, but he had to remind himself that thing was a beast, not his son.

“Well, in any case, until we meet next, I give my thanks for this little catchup lesson, General,” it said,and just like that, before anyone could protest, smoke had filled the air and ‘Chaos’ was gone.

The Revolutionary set, besides Aaron, prepared to step back and book it, but their plans were foiled by George.

“Boys. My office. Now.”

…

“Sir we-“ Aaron has started but was quickly interrupted.

“You four released a powerful being that has the capability of destroying the world as we know it. What can you possibly come up with to try to save your asses this time,” he growled, glaring right into the boy’s eyes, only to find they were shocked and silent. Their general was right, they had no excuse. They shouldn’t have been down there in the first place, even if releasing him was an accident.

Laurens stood.

“Sir, that's just a kid! Why does it matter if he’s released! Isn’t that the whole point of the redemption program?” he protested.

“You don’t understand, Laurens. That kid is the legend from the storybooks. True Chaos.”

Everyone’s eyes widened besides for Laurens, who looked confused at the expressions his friends had.

“Who?” He bluntly asked.

“You seriously don’t know, mon ami?” Lafayette whispered with disbelieving stare. 

“Nope.” Laurens sat back as he looked more confused than before. He stared up at Washington expectantly, hoping he wasn’t in so much trouble that the general wouldn’t inform him on something everyone else apparent knew about.

“Then let me inform you, son.”

…

 The story of true chaos was one that was so ancient, it was practically considered a fairytale, meant to scare kids into behaving. But the true story of chaos isn’t a hoax made up so parents could say “go to bed, or true chaos will get you.” It’s far more deep and complex. In fact it’s far more real.

 Long ago in the pond of balance, lived two koi fish: Order, a white fish, and Chaos, a green fish. The villagers would constantly pray to the fish, as they were believed to be the spirits of Order and Chaos respectively. However, one day the Order fish was found dead. All evidence pointed to the Chaos fish killing it. In anger, the villagers murdered the Chaos fish, starting the era of chaos.

Years after that, a green chaotic beast would appear every few hundred years, terrorizing towns, and becoming stronger and smarter each time. The first year it appeared, it caused total destruction, reigning for years on end. Until one young man showed up with a group of people he led.

This young man was the first of the Washingtons.

Thus, Hero Co. was born. The group had taken down the beast, and ever since then, their descendants slaid the beast each time it came back, and continue to slain it to this day.

…

“Okay, so this chaos thing is a murder beast, but how does this relate to this being a kid our age?” Laurens said, still looking upset. He couldn’t wrap his head around Washington not giving the boy a chance.

“Laurens, I wish every kid could be like you but-“

“No! I don’t get it! What’s so different about him?!”

“That monster took over my first son.That boy is Alexander Hamilton.”

Each of the boys were stunned. Washington had rarely talked about his first son. All that was known is he started the junior heroes program. 

“But, didn’t he create the junior heroes program?” Hercules questioned, looking confused.

Now it was Lafayette’s turn to burst out with questions. “But you said he died in a villain attack!”

“Alexander was my first foster child. He was an orphan from the Caribbean. He was talkative, passionate, caring…everything you would want in a kid like him.” He chuckled fondly, his eyes looking down at a picture of the boy on his desk. “Though, a few months before the ‘attack’ Alexander became…very shut off. In truth, there was no attack. Alexander attacked me- attacked the heroes. At first, I thought something had happened, that this was my fault, but after lab analyzation, I learned the truth. True Chaos was written all over the situation.”

Washington has tears in his eyes that he desperately refused to let fall in front of the kids. He quickly regained his composure, wiping his tears.

“I tried everything the first few years he was in that crystal, but we found no way to save him.”

“Sir I-“ Laurens gulped, tentatively reaching out for him as he gave a frown.

“Please, boys. You’re on probation as of right now. I don’t want to hear another sound out of you four today. Now go back to training.”

The boys mumbled a ‘yessir’ and shuffled out of the office. Leaving Washington to grieve in his office over the son he lost so long ago.

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

The Beautiful & Damned (4/7)

Female Reader x Young!Remus Lupin | Female Reader x Young!Sirius Black

Chapter 4: Bravado Falls

A/N: Wow you guys. Just wow. I can never thank you enough for the support and for all the love you show so kindly for my ramblings. I hope that the last three parts won’t be a disappointment for you. If you feel like it, do let me know what you think, your opinions really matter to me. 

I just want to add that story kind of started to live a life of its own. It was supposed to be very Sirius-centric in the beginning, but I keep coming back to this cinnamon roll wrapped in softest cashmere that is Remus Lupin. I swear I love this guy - or his collective image, thanks to all the talented writers on Tumblr - more than chocolate. I still want to recognise all that hotness, devotion and true beauty that is Sirius Black, so I’m not done talking about him in this story either... Stay tuned! :) 

Things are getting a tad angsty in this one. I hope you enjoy! 

New to the series? - Accio Chapter 1: The Golden Couple - Accio Chapter 2: No, Definitely - Accio Chapter 3: Misread

Ever since that kiss in the Great Hall approximately a week ago, Remus’ communication skills seemed to have become a little rusty, to say the least. After what he could only describe as a colossal disaster that fateful Saturday morning, Remus had closed himself off to the outside world, barely talking to anyone at all. At first, James, Peter, Marlene, Lily and especially you tried time and again to break through to him on numerous occasions, but Remus always had something to do or somewhere to be. In order to keep his head above water, he chased your image, the feeling of your eyelashes brushing against his cheekbones and your taste - bloody hippogriff, that taste! - away with Advanced Transfiguration, Advanced Potions, Advanced Charms - pretty much Advanced anything he could lay his hands on. He spent his entire days, sometimes even entire nights in the library, hidden behind dusty bookshelves, choosing corners so secluded, nobody would ever think of looking for him there. 

Dull ache made a home deeper in his chest each time he saw your hopeful, beautiful face, and turned away, getting lost in a crowd of students. This same ache was replaced by emptiness once he realised you no longer sought to talk to him. He couldn’t entirely avoid you, of course, even though he really tried his best. Sirius was a best friend you two shared, after all, even if these past few days it might have appeared too loud of a word to define whatever was going on between Padfoot and him. 

It seemed that the more Remus distanced himself from you, the closer you were becoming with Sirius. He tried not to think about it. Really tried not to think about the fact that the kiss you shared - easily the happiest memory he was sure going to hold on to - was what pushed you in Sirius’ arms. To see you two one without the other around the castle had already been a rare occurrence before the kiss; as of now, legendary Padfoot and Siren were truly inseparable. The Golden Couple was thriving, the stories about Hogwarts’ King and Queen were told and retold, and each narrator considered it his or her duty to add a new detail, stretching the truth to a blatant lie. 

The word had it both of you had been seen eating lunch in the Astronomy Tower together on a daily basis, savouring dessert in between heated kisses; someone declared they saw Sirius walk out of the dorm you shared with fellow Gryffindors Alice and Margaret in the early morning wearing no shirt, after a steamy night, no doubt, added the confidential resource. 

Remus paid no mind to all the speculations, because this was none of his bloody business.

Okay, scratch that. 

Remus pretended to do so, continuing to dodge all the questions, all the curious looks, and, surprisingly, a great number of young witches and wizards, wanting to take him to Hogsmeade or to bed - sometimes he was even offered a choice - rather successfully. His grandiose bravado cracked on Friday evening, when he came back to the Gryffindor Common Room after thirty something hours spent in the library. 

He tried his best to slip unnoticed to the dorms, but was stunned speechless and motionless by a loud outburst of  dulcet laughter, that sent bolts of real happiness shooting throughout his body. 

He hadn’t heard your voice or your laughter for what felt like ages. You were no longer friends - wasn’t it funny how the person you used to know so well could turn into a total stranger in a matter of days? The thought made his heart clench, degrading him to his usual state: that of a hollow husk of a man, going through the motions of the day-to-day because that was what was expected from him. 

Wanting nothing more than to get to his dorm room, undress and fall asleep, Remus headed towards the stairs. Lady Luck was clearly not on his side - two steps in, he heard Peter call after him in high-pitched, yet soft voice. Having had no choice but to turn around and approach the people to whom he had failed to show his immense love this last week, he spotted you on the couch next to Sirius; the world around you three froze. 

Moony couldn’t see your face, for you buried it in Padfoot’s chest as soon as you heard his name. Sirius stared at Remus, unblinking, throwing a protective arm across your back, bringing you closer. 

Even now, Lupin couldn’t deny the power of the beauty the two of you emanated, cuddled together on the couch. With the low-cut, V-shaped collar of his black T-shirt, his hair pulled back in a bun, and his thunderous grey eyes fixed on Remus like on some kind of  an indulgent sinner, Sirius looked nothing short of a god, holding you, his goddess, in his arms. All at once, you raised your head ever so slightly, whispering something to Sirius - Remus saw your red lips move. Padfoot didn’t answer, but planted a soft kiss on your forehead instead. 

This was just about as much as Remus could take. 

“Come talk to us, Remus,” Lily patted the seat on the couch next to her, her vivid green eyes hopeful. “We barely see you these days”, she pouted. 

“Thanks, Evans, but I’ll pass,” never taking his eyes off Sirius and you, Remus brushed her invitation off. “No need to commiserate with the beast - no one’s watching anyway”. 

“…What did you just say, Lupin?” Padfoot’s reaction was almost instant, as he straightened in his seat, his eyes burning holes in Moony’s chest. 

“Exactly what I meant to,” Remus replied dryly, visibly unimpressed. “Don’t play stupid, Sirius, you are smarter than that”. 

“Blithering idiot,” Padfoot gritted his teeth, trying to keep his temper in control. “You haven’t got a fucking clue, have you?”

“Okay, that’s enough!” your voice seemed to have resonated in the entire castle as you got on your feet between the two people you cherished most in the world. “Remus,” Moony could swear your voice trembled, as you spoke his name. If you only knew how often he dreamed about this moment, about the way your lips form every letter before the sound comes out of your mouth! “Please, just go.”

Your eyes were glistening in the light of the chimney fire, dark circles only accentuating their redness. Yet you were still breathtakingly beautiful, especially now, making him question every decision he had made these past seven days.  

He wanted to speak; actually, he wanted to scream, to get the hurt out of his system. But what for?… You could never count just in how many pieces his heart had already crumbled, as he recalled again and again that pitying look of your beautiful shimmering eyes. You could never see him the way he saw you. You belonged with Sirius, and he… Well he was just yet another Icarus who got too close to the sun.

Holding back, Remus bit the inside of his right cheek so hard, he felt the taste of blood on his tongue. 

“Fine,” he said, his vision blurring. He threw one last look at the people he used to call friends - they dodged his gaze better than he avoided them all week. 

He stormed out of the Common Room seconds before the tears finally fell.

Having watched Lupin’s frame disappear in the dark corridors, you made your way back to Sirius’ side and into his open arms. He didn’t say anything, just held you close and placed a gentle kiss on top of your head. 

As awkward silence settled in, Prongs and Padfoot exchanged meaningful glances. Sirius slowly nodded at James, still not letting go of you. 

Despite what Lily kept on saying, Remus didn’t need saving. What, however, Moony desperately required was a proper kick in the ass, something, it just happened so, the Marauders were known to excel at. 

Accio Chapter 5: Marauders to the Rescue 

My Beautiful Taglist (please, hit me up should you want to be tagged or untagged): @xapham, @spunkypatterns,  @jackie-houston, @justducky0423, @zakthedrak, @marauder–harder, @davros2004, @firefurr, @heyjess-marie, @kapolisradomthoughts

[aion-rsa]

The Riddler: DC Redefines Famous Batman Villain

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Does Year of the Villain mean a big change for Batman’s puzzling nemesis?

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Event comics usually come with a passel of one-off tie ins. Sometimes they’re very good. Sometimes they’re a way of giving someone a try out. Sometimes they’re a way of getting somebody work. These are all good things! But very rarely are they ever impactful on a character or the direction of a line. That may change this week, as Mark Russell and Scott Godlewski bring the Riddler into Year of the Villain with one of the most introspective superhero comics in a while, one that potentially foreshadows a big status quo change for one of Batman’s oldest villains.

The premise of the entire Year of the Villain arc has Apex Lex, a powered-up Lex Luthor, gone full evil again after years spent straddling the line of “dick” and “dick but helping the good guys”, running around the DC Universe offering power ups to the bad guys from every rogue’s gallery. In the pages of Justice League, he cranked up folks like Sinestro, while he’s been popping into other books for help like closing Gotham to the outside world and giving free rein to Bane (Batman), or a substantially boosted cold suit for Captain Cold (The Flash). In The Riddler: Year of the Villain, he gives Edward Nygma something completely different: perspective.

The story is framed by the Riddler’s friendship with King Tut. They start the issue kvetching about their persistent failures to top Batman in any meaningful way. They move to complaining that they haven’t been approached by Luthor yet, then head their separate ways. When Riddler gets home, he finds Luthor in his living room, and Luthor is pretty merciless in his criticism. The next morning, Tut calls Riddler to loop him in on his own profound realization: that they persistently fail because they never work with each other, and the true solution to both their problems is to do a half-baked death trap together.

The Luthor conversation is the crux of the issue. Luthor hands the Riddler nothing - no hyper-powered question staff, no bowler hat that will increase his cleverness tenfold, no giant question mark-shaped bomb planted under Wayne Manor. He just talks to him about Nygma’s own rigidity. The inflexibility of his mind, being lashed to his schtick, is what Luthor hints has been holding the Riddler back. And that inflexibility is preventing the Riddler from growing as a person. It’s kept him from accepting any changes since he was a child fixated on revenge against the bullies tormenting him. He ends the story by telling Nygma “Life is the process of saying goodbye to ourselves.” And the Riddler ends the issue by walking out on King Tut’s death trap.

read more: Justice League, Crisis, and the Future of the DC Universe

This is...not what I think anyone expected from a Year of the Villain book. The best you can usually hope for is a thoughtful one-off. Something akin to what Russell already gave us in Year of the Villain: Sinestro - a clever character piece that leaves the character exactly where he started when the issue picked up. Here, we get smart character work, but we also get more character development than the Riddler has had since...what, Paul Dini on Detective Comics back around Infinite Crisis? The Riddler is iconic, but the character owes almost everything to Frank Gorshin’s portrayal of him on the old television show. He hasn’t had more than a handful of deep dives or status quo shifts in an age.

A literal age - I can count four stories since the Bronze Age ended that really matter, that made a big impact on the Riddler as a character, and that’s a stretch a little bit - one of them came out on the cusp between the Bronze Age and the modern age of comics and could be argued into either category. But for almost every one of them, the impact on other characters was greater.

“Dark Night, Dark City” was Peter Milligan and Kieron Dwyer’s 1990 tale in Batman that had a suddenly very bloodthirsty Riddler pulling jobs around Gotham. It’s a really good Riddler story, but overshadowed by the fact that it’s also where Barbatos, the dark Bat-god who dominated Grant Morrison’s Batman mythology and later spawned Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo’s dark multiverse, first appeared. Snyder and Capullo also featured the Riddler as the main villain of "Zero Year," their big, 13 issue story about Batman’s first run in with Nygma. It is also the first time we really got to look at the way Batman managed his own mental health, and ends with him almost getting shock therapy. And the War of Jokes and Riddles was a long story that wrapped up Tom King’s first year on Batman by giving Kite Man a heartbreaking origin story and having the Joker (of all people) stop Bruce from killing the Riddler.

read more - Batman: Damned is a Trip Through the Darkest Corners of the DC Universe

The unifying force in all of these stories is that they’re not about Edward Nygma. They’re about someone else reacting to Nygma. And, in the case of “Zero Year” and the “War of Jokes and Riddles,” they both happen in the distant-by-comic-book-time past of Batman.

Really, the only story in the last 30 years worth of comics that really changed what we know about the Riddler was Paul Dini turning him into Sherlock Holmes in Detective Comics. In the wake of the wretched “Hush” and the not-great Infinite Crisis, Dini has Nygma go straight and begin selling his services as a consulting detective to Gotham’s wealthy. It takes the Riddler, keeps his main schtick (proving that he’s smarter and more clever than Batman), but points it in a different direction so we can see it work from another angle and take a little bit more out of it. Edward Nygma, Consulting Detective is the one time before this Year of the Villain issue that anybody really tried to twist the Riddler’s core concept around and peer at it from a different angle in modern comics. For perspective, in those same 30 years that it took to get four meaningful Riddler stories, Gotham City has been destroyed or quarantined from the rest of the country in four stories.

read more: The Secrets of DC's New Superman/Batman Team

Gorshin’s portrayal and the Riddler’s iconic look have been enough to keep him top tier in the popular consciousness, though. That a character can largely survive Jim Carrey and the Question Mark Guy who wanted to give us all free government money sullying his rep and look, respectively, is a testament to his fundamental appeal. The beauty of this issue is that even if it were a fluffy one-off with no potential wider impact, it would still be terrific. How many times do you get to open a comic and yell “OH MY GOD IS THAT KING TUT?” It’s not like he’s the Fluoronic Man or something. A King Tut sighting is a rare blessing, friends! Also, Tom King Batman aside, there’s been a subtle creep of a lighter Batman into comics lately that continues here. We’ve got a Batman happy to toss riddles back at Nygma along with his boots. Batman gets noticeably exasperated by King Tut’s incompetence and even almost jokes with the Gotham PD about how long it’ll take him to beat Tut. “Lair” Magazine is something I hope DC one day manages to publish, even if it’s just a joke. Profound character development aside, this issue was just really fun.

The brilliance of this issue is how it directly interacts with one of the fundamental tenets of modern superhero comics: the illusion of change. Stan Lee said the secret to Marvel storytelling (a theory that has come to apply to the superhero industry as a whole) is “the illusion of change.” The idea that comic book superheroes change over time is actually far truer than it seems on first glance, it’s just the under the radar ones, the characters keeping one arm out of limbo, who are capable of doing the most changing.

It’s possible that this issue is setting the Riddler up for a big change. It shows a willingness to strip Edward Nygma back to his bare, raw, core concept, and it’s one that makes him stand out as a Batman rogue. For years now, we’ve been watching Batman matched against the inexplicable chaos of the Joker, or match power and forethought with Bane, or have really bad anxiety attacks and bone Catwoman. What we’ve seen far less often is Batman be the best detective in comics. We get plenty of Batman pounding the shit out of a parade of bad guys. We don’t see him sussing out motive or means as much. All of the good writers have found a way to make that happen here and there over the last few years, but it always takes a backseat to saving hypertime by throwing three pearls at Rip Hunter. The Riddler gives them an excuse to lead with the detective work.

read more: The Batman Who Laughs and the Culmination of 10 Years of DC Stories

Maybe the Riddler has fallen far enough for this to stick. We know from tweets hoping for an ongoing that Russell thinks so. The Riddler: Year of the Villain works because it forces Nygma to think his way out of his rut and choose to do something different. Hopefully we get to see more of that change play out on the page.

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Feature Jim Dandy

Sep 11, 2019

DC Entertainment

Mark Russell

Batman

from Books https://ift.tt/2Lp4Kyc

[morethanithoughtofficialblog]

Chapter 11: And I had an anxiety attack... again.

In which the title describes the whole chapter

*Your POV*

I slammed the door behind me, fell to my knees, and closed my eyes. Today was such a shitty day I actually don't want to go back. But I have to. Unless I want to get fired, which actually doesn't sound THAT bad.

Wait... yeah, that sounds reasonable.

My apartment was just like my mind: a complete fucking mess that made no sense and looked like Narnia. But despite that, my personal laptop was hanging out on the small table I have in front of the TV. I sighed and went to the kitchen, trying not to worry.

It's been a while ever since I met the group of monsters and, honestly, I'm loving it! They are super nice and a part of me has changed a bit... so I'm becoming more dedicated to making them as happy as I can.

And that also refers to some of their complaints, like "you should seek a better job" or "this is dangerous for you, you should have something that makes you happy". And that's what I was about to do.

After taking my cup of coffee and I sat on the couch, I opened my laptop and started to search for different jobs and opportunities. I'm a scientist and a... politician? We could say that. I'm experienced in both terms and I'm really trying to look for a scientist post today. I want to do what I love and, well, I'm a science nerd. Fite me.

I just don't want to work in the Congress anymore. It's boring, it's lame, and I'm not going to stay in an office for the rest of my days- not when I'm starting to care about things. Alphys and Sans have said that they want to become part of the science world, but they have to study hard to get it. While I'm waiting for them, though, I'll make them proud and work in science!

While browsing around, I ended up on a Facebook page and noticed I had a shitton of notifications. Interested, I checked the groups and started to read the messages... bad idea...

Paula: Hey, monster lover! You should just go with them to the Underground, hah!

Anna: Jesus, when did we let this happen?

Anna: I thought you were smarter than this!

John: You are gonna put us in trouble

John: And it'll be all YOUR FAULT!

And so it went. I frowned slightly and decided to check Discord, trying to get distracted for a bit. My mind was starting to make bad moves, and I just couldn't make them real. What if it was better to leave the topic? Did I make a mistake? Should I start protesting AGAINST them?! Are they a threat to humans? Oh my God, what have I done? Should I-

Do you wanna get... Frisky?: Hey (Y/N)!

Do you wanna get... Frisky?: you wanna play UNO?

CoolSkeleton95: YES, HUMAN!

CoolSkeleton95: YOU SHOULD JOIN THE FUN!

I shook my head with a smile, knowing I could never do that to them. Not after the little and funny history we have together, and how much comprehensible they looked with my problems socializing. They've made laugh like there is no tomorrow and to learn a lot of things. I just can't wipe them away from their dreams. I just can't wipe them away from my life.

Smartass: Sure, right now?

puns are love, puns are life: we're startin' right now, kiddo.

puns are love, puns are life: join this round before undyne comes with her shitty strategies again

I giggled softly, remembering the stupid nicknames we all had in that Discord group. I immediately went for my headphones, then joined the chat.

"Hi!" I exclaimed, praying that everyone could hear me. Fortunately, they could.

"hello kid, ready to lose?" A deep voice said, which I immediately recognized it was Sans. Everyone seems to have a high-pitched voice comparing them with him. Heck, even my father would sound like a three-year-old girl if we compare their voices!

After a bit of playing stupid rounds of UNO and hearing Sans's awful puns, I lost track of time. Eventually, Sans and I ended up playing Dead by Daylight together, the skeleton by some coincidence having the game installed. And so talked privately from then, and... got used to the game, I suppose.

"DUDE WHAT THE-" I stopped myself before I could use a bad word, not knowing how he would react. I still don't feel comfortable enough to be my usual, swearing, and boring self around them. I'm trying to be as less boring as possible... but I know that I'm still boring, even if I, indeed, try hard.

"i hate this game soooooooo much... what if we play somethin' else?" he asked, making me sigh in relief. This game's no good for someone with anxiety, keep that in mind. Bad thing I'm kind of a masochist in that aspect.

"You hate a lot of games, don't you? And sure, any suggestions?"

"do you have... mortal kombat?"

Oooh

This is going to be interesting!

"Which one?"

"x, i'm too poor to buy the new one"

"Sure, I have it! I'll love to play it, it's been a while"

"cool cool, i'll invite you then"

And we played like for, what, hours? Mortal Kombat is sincerely one of my favorite sagas of videogames since I was a little child. Dolls? Nah, videogames were my thing since the beginning of times.

I forgot my problems, I forgot everything. It was just me, my character, and an angry Sans rattling his bones all over the mic. I was enjoying it, even if he tried to deconcentrate me with his jokes, that at the end were all just corny comments trying to make me flush but made me laugh instead.

I joked now and then as well, and hearing his laugh was such a gratifying feeling I couldn't do anything but to laugh with him. Besides, his laugh is quite contagious, and I'm easily influenced when other people laugh, so this got the best of me.

When I looked at the clock though, fear ran all over my body, and I stood quiet for some good minutes. I tried to contain my anxiety, to calm down. I took deep breaths and closed my eyes, telling myself I'll be just fine.

"(y/n), are you-"

"HOLY SHIT IT'S 1 AM WHAT THE FUCK- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

...

Nice job, sweetie.

My mind was being a huge and stupid mess whenever those awful screams were out of my mouth. Sans wasn't answering, so I felt worse. I started panicking and creating ways to make him hate me less, and before I could say anything, I heard laughter.

His laughter.

"oh my god (y/n) you panic a lot" he said between breaths, while I just remained silent. What the- "i'm sorry, it's just... you should not worry about anything, k? remember you said tomorrow you don't have to work, k? just relax. nothing's wrong with staying late once in a while, right?"

"Wait, so you don't think I'm pathetic or anything like that?!"

"wha- of course not! everyone has their moments (y/n), and you have anxiety, for god's sake! it's totally normal for someone to freak out now and then. you shouldn't feel guilty of that"

How...

I felt tears trying to escape from my eyes and I hold them back, keeping my cool... temporarily. I draw a weak smile in my face, even if Sans couldn't see it.

"Thank you. I needed that" Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnd my voice broke down in the process. Shit.

"don't worry (y/n)" he said kindly, and I bet he was still wearing that permanent shit-eating grin. I chuckled to myself, slowly making tears disappear "hey, do you wanna meet up tomorrow? maybe you want some time to yourself, i know, but maybe you should try to interact more with people... since i'm assuming you don't"

I never thought I would get lectured by a skeleton. Guess life is unexpected, huh?

But I realized he was right. My social anxiety can only be solved by interacting with others. There is no escape, and I'm conscious of that. Besides, what can go wrong? Sans has been nothing but a nice guy, and I'm starting to enjoy his company a lot. Maybe I'll be able to consider him as a friend?

"I'd love that, thank you so much. I don't get to hang out often, so that means a lot"

"don't sweat it. everyone deserves a chance to express themselves"

We hung up the call with a quick "see you tomorrow" and I went straight to bed, never erasing that last sentence he said from my mind.

"Everyone deserves a chance to express themselves", huh? Maybe...

Maybe this is my chance

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Sans's POV*

We hung up the call and I let out a sigh. I never realized I was playing until late, mostly because Papyrus didn't come for his bedtime story, and so I lose track of time. I was having a good time though, but I can't be stubborn and keep her up any longer. Not after she almost had a heart attack.

She's nice, and she seems pretty genuine. Doesn't look like the type of girl that should hide anything, not with that anxiety of hers. She's a goddess in Mortal Kombat, though. She knew how to use almost every fighter perfectly, and I felt like a punching bag with jokes in its interior. The more she won, the more I joked. At least she laughed... a lot, actually. She's a good audience, just like Tori.

Then I remembered she cursed when she was starting to freak out, and I started to wonder if she uses "strong" language daily. Or well, at least in her head.

I looked over that beautiful website called Youtube and watched some memes, that are truly gold if you ask me. A sick and dark sense of humor combined with random things and retards living their lives- in one word, perfection. I would also watch Tumblr, but that site gave me a good uncomfortable feeling that I don't want to relive any sooner. I also wanted to check Wattpad, but ever since I knew that it was mostly FanFiction, I thought more about it. Then I remember that Alphys told me she had an account and I immediately never went to that place...

Alphys is scary sometimes, no one can judge me. Her weird FanFictions are pretty much apart from anything I like to read or write...

And yes, I'm a writer.

That's why I thought Wattpad would be a good idea...

Thank God I changed my mind.

I'm mostly a science fiction lover, but drama and suspense are not that bad. I also like a lot of horror novels, but I'm no good at writing one my self. Believe me, I tried. It's hard to make it as noncliché as possible, considering that paranormalities are a huge cliché themselves.

I always include romance in my stories though. I realized it's quite essential in defining people's personalities and actions. Besides, romantic scenes leave a nice drama feeling when they are not exaggerated, so I try to put them once in a while.

I'm currently writing a novel instead of a short story, but it's hella difficult if you are bone dry of ideas. It takes a skele-ton of effort to come up with something good, and it's harder to put it in words. I also need to do some more research, since it includes scientific things...

Ah, sci-fi. What would I do without it?

I'm also a classic novel lover. Macbeth it's just wonderful and Journey to the Center of the Earth are old masterpieces that have a special place in my soul. I read them when I was a kid, and I would do it over and over. But I also want to see what new books the surface has to offer- one of my wildest dreams is to visit the biggest libraries around the world, like the ones in Paris or in Tokyo. But that has to wait.

I'm tired, but I never get myself to sleep. I suffer insomnia since... quite a few time, actually. It all started with the first reset of that goddamn flower; it started whenever I realized that the timeline theory was real and that, whoever got the power- the DETERMINATION- had the entire world at their hands.

Flowey was first, then Frisk came and had the power. Now I don't know if she has it anymore, considering we are at the surface and anyone could be more determined than her. But there's still a chance she has time and space at the tip of her fingers, and with a snap, she can make everything and everyone I love disappear.

That kid... she probably wants to see me suffer. After everything I've done to stop her, she hates me even more. She's selfish. She's a prick. And I'll never forgive her.

She knew I would remember when she did that. She killed everyone I loved, she destroyed the little hope I had on my home... and laughed at my face about it. That fight, that crazy look in her eyes... I have nightmares about it. Whenever I see the kid, a part of me replaces it with the painful memories of past timelines.

And I can't make them stop. I can't erase that devilish and empty smile Frisk had. I can't erase the vision of that flower becoming a God before my eyes.

I can't erase Papyrus's smile still with hope before turning to dust.

I shook my head and sighed. Out of all the times, I can't bring myself now into thinking like that... not anymore. We're on the Surface now, for God's sake! I should be happy because now I can fulfill my happiest dreams!

...

I lack the motivation, though.

There's no hope for me, or that's what I think.

I want the best for everyone (except Frisk and Flowey; screw them), but me? Heh, this old sack of bones won't be his usual self any sooner. It's just... it's just stupid to think I'll ever be the casual and relaxed skeleton ever again. I'm paranoid. I'm scared. I'm a fucking coward trying to protect his brother, but being too useless to do anything about it.

I can't go back to Snowdin. I can't go back to that goddamn house. I can't.

I glanced over my desk and noticed the folder with the things for my education. I let a sigh, knowing that I would never be able to keep up with that kind of stress. Not if my mind it's worried about something else.

I turned off the lights and went to my bed, trying to clear my mind. I let a new human enter my life, one older than Frisk...

That doesn't mean it's less dangerous.

That doesn't mean she's not a murderer...