#shout out to angelic Charlie Kelly

[boodlesofdoodles]

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

So like I think maybe Charlie is actually really good at baking?? He’s probably memorized a few of Bonnie’s recipes and occasionally bakes himself something when he’s feeling upset. Kind of a coping mechanism to actually bake, and the familiar smells that fill a kitchen comfort him as much as the taste of his mom’s brownies do. There’s a sense of pride that fills him when he gets the recipe exact. He really only knows a few recipes, and he’s DEFINITELY super secret about it. Baking is something that makes him feel kind of embarrassed and he doesn’t let the gang know about it.

He might let Mac know eventually, maybe Mac is feeling down or he’s sick or something and Charlie is like “whenever I felt sick mom would bake me something. Fuck it I’m gonna make Mac something.” and brings over a small batch of cookies, careful to hide it from Dennis. Mac is absolutely dumbfounded that the cookies are so good and tries to come up with a scheme to start selling them almost immediately lmao. Charlie is not at all interested and after a lot of insisting, Mac finally gets the hint and just enjoys the cookies and his buddy’s ability to bake. Soon enough Mac is secretly encouraging Charlie to bake more often (and have him taste test everything he makes, obviously) and after a few times visiting realizes Charlie really only makes like 4 things. When Mac asks him about it he gets immediately defensive, rambling like crazy, “Why the hell would I need to bake more stuff? Are you saying my Mom’s stuff isn’t enough, dude? My mom makes really good stuff. You’re over here drooling every time I make you one of her recipes! Don’t go saying shit about her stuff, Mac. You love this shit, I don’t need to make other shit.”

“No, no! Charlie, Christ dude, fucking calm down, will you?” Mac trying his best to deescalate the hostility he accidentally brought on the pair of them. “I’m just saying maybe you should branch out some more. It could be fun to try some new stuff, is all!”

I don’t feel like writing out a whole conversation rn but basically it boils down to Charlie not really understanding the measurements, and it trips him up too much to keep trying new recipes; that’s the reason he sticks with what he knows. At first he did try looking up some different recipes but got extremely frustrated and felt so stupid trying to understand it. Nothing ever came out right so he just gave up on other stuff. When it comes to Bonnie’s recipes he doesn’t even need to measure anything he’s made them so much he just eyeballs it and it usually comes out relatively the same every time, which is good enough for him. The ‘Mac hanging out and just keeping Charlie company while he bakes something’ quickly comes to an end; now Mac is teaching Charlie the metric system and what different abbreviations in recipes online mean. He goes out and buys measuring cups for Charlie and shows him how to use them. He makes a cheat sheet with easy to follow drawings of the different measuring cups and which ones he needs to use for cup, ounce, tablespoon, etc. They try out new recipes together and Charlie starts to become more confident with it. Eventually he goes over to Mac and Dennis’ with a new recipe he looked up and tried all on his own, without Mac there to help him with reading all of it and Mac is SO incredibly proud of him. Gushing about how good of a job he did :,) anyways yeah that’s all I got I just adore the idea so much I needed to get it out of my system. As someone who’s autistic (like we’re pretty sure Charlie is) I personally love to bake because of how precise everything is as compared to cooking. I don’t have to think about how it’ll come out and I don’t have to experiment with anything. Just follow very clear instructions. I think Charlie would feel the same way and enjoy the 0 guesswork that goes into the process of baking from a recipe. Thank you if anyone read all this. PLEASE comment or message me or fucking anything about what y’all think about this concept

[bi-bard]

Familiar Faces - Jack Kline Imagine (Supernatural/DC's Legends of Tomorrow Crossover)

Title: Familiar Faces

Pairing: Jack Kline X Platonic!Reader, Nora Darhk X Platonic!Reader

Requested: nope

Word Count: 1,255 words

Warning(s): bit of cussing, mentions of kidnapping (Arrow spoiler), threats of violence

Summary: (Season 13 in Supernatural, Season 5 (I think) of Legends) In the hopes of saving Jack and Mary, (Y/n) joins Dean and Ketch in the apocalypse world. However, after the mission takes a bit of a left turn, they try to get home, only for (Y/n) get thrown somewhere completely different.

Author's Note: I wrote a post about this on my fan account as a joke, but it felt like a good break from the serious imagines that I just uploaded.

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I don't think anything was as messy as the time that Team Free Will spent hopping around alternate dimensions.

It seemed like a simple enough task, considering everything. Get the portal open, get into the apocalypse world, get Jack and Mary, and then, get the hell out of there and slam the door shut.

Of course... nothing could ever be that simple.

As Dean, Ketch, and I ran back to the portal, I had a bit of difficulty keeping up. We had been running and fighting constantly and it was finally catching up with me. My clothes and skin had dirt all over and I was far too sweaty.

"(Y/n), let's go," Dean glanced back at me.

"Focus on not running into a tree," I shouted back at him.

We made it back to the portal with barely enough time.

The two of them ran in without any problems. However, when I went to run through, I was sent flying backward. I felt my back hit the ground hard and roll backward for a moment. I stopped myself with my hands.

I hadn't landed on the forest floor like I was expecting, I had landed on this metal material. I looked up to see a group of people staring at me from around a table. I quickly stood up, staring back at them. Then, I caught sight of someone very familiar.

"Kelly," I asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows, "Who?"

"You're not Kelly?"

"Who the hell is Kelly?"

"More importantly, who are you," a blonde woman on the opposite side of the table asked.

"And why are you so dirty," a tall man with brown hair asked.

I looked down at my clothes.

"I'd answer the questions before we throw you in one of the cells on board," another blonde woman added.

"I will," I promised. "However, your story is probably far less complicated. Maybe a few names.... and the name of where I am?"

"I'm Sara," the first woman replied before pointing at each person around the table. "That's Ava, Ray, Nate, Zari, Charlie, Mick, John, and Nora. You are on a ship called the Waverider."

"A ship? Doesn't quite feel like we're on water?"

"Time ship," Ray corrected. He had said maybe a total of eight words, and I could already tell he was the human equivalent of a puppy.

"Oh," I nodded. I took a few steps toward the table. I was standing in between Ray and Nora. "Well, my name is (Y/n)."

"Hello, (Y/n)," Mick said, reminiscent of an A.A meeting.

"Alright," I muttered. "I am from a different universe."

"God, not again," Nate groaned.

"Tell me about it," I replied. "I'd give anything to be done with this portal nonsense. Anyway! I am a monster hunter. I have been for most of my life. I work with two men named Sam and Dean, and an angel named Castiel. We had... a complicated situation take place."

"All ears," Nora pushed.

"Well, that's kind of where you come in," I explained. "There's a woman on my earth who looks just like you. Except, her name is Kelly Kline. Kelly was manipulated by Lucifer... and it was our fault he was free in the place. He manipulated her and she ended up pregnant. She died in childbirth. I was there when it happened. I promised to watch her kid."

The table was silent.

"Their name's Jack," I grinned a little. "They're a Nephilim. Half archangel, half human. They're incredibly powerful. Their birth ripped a hole in space and opened a portal to an apocalyptic world when Lucifer and Michael fought and when Michael when, he started wiping out the humans. Sam and Dean's mom got dragged over. Jack thought that in order to make things right, they should find her."

"The... baby," Ray asked. I froze.

"That's another complicated part," I replied. "I'll explain that in a minute. Anyway, Jack ended up stuck. Dean and I managed to open a portal and tried to find them. Ended up trying to save someone else. When we went to make it back to our world, the portal... glitched? And then, I was thrown in your ship."

"The other me gave birth to the antichrist," Nora asked.

"Jack's a complete puppy dog," I said. "They're nothing like their dad. They don't call Lucifer that. To them, their dad is Castiel."

"How would the baby call him anything," Ray seemed very stressed about this.

"Jack... didn't... they didn't come out a baby," I tried to explain.

Before I could properly explain, there was some kind of intercom that came on.

"Ms. Lance, there's a new presence on the ship and it's coming toward you all," it said.

"What the hell-"

"It's just Gideon," Ray whispered to me.

"(Y/n)," I looked over as Jack walked into the room. They looked at everyone else and waved, "Hello."

"Jack," I shouted, running over and hugging them. I stepped back and looked for any visible wounds. "How did you get here? How did you get out of the apocalypse world? Are you hurt? Where are Sam and Dean? Is Mary alright? How long have I been gone?"

"Everyone's okay," Jack said. "And it's only been a day. We got another portal open so we could find you."

I let out a sigh of relief.

I turned around to introduce them and saw Nora looking absolutely terrified.

"You... This is Jack," she asked quietly.

I nodded.

"The other me gave birth to them," she continued. I nodded again. "I don't know if there's really a God, but I'd love to give them a swift kick in the nuts."

I furrowed my eyebrows.

"They... They looks like the man who killed my mother," she explained.

"Oh," I whispered.

"His name was Lonnie," she continued. "He was angry with my dad. Kidnapped me and my mom twice and killed her. He tried to kill me."

The entire ship was tense.

"I understand you're not him... but it's... scary. I won't lie."

Jack stepped forward slowly, "I'm sorry that I scared you."

"It's... it's not your fault," she shook her head. "Umm... (Y/n) told us about your dad. My dad was kind of known for being evil. I understand what that can be like."

"I'm trying to be better than him," Jack replied happily.

Nora grinned at them a little, "Good."

"Jack," I asked. They looked back at me. "Ready to head home?"

They nodded before looking back at Nora, "Can I give you a hug?"

She just kind of stared at them for a minute before slowly stepping forward and giving them an awkward hug. They were happy with it, hugging her back. She smiled wider, relaxing a little bit.

When they stepped back, they walked over to me quickly, "Come on!"

They started walking back to the portal. I chuckled at their excitement and turned to the group, "It was nice meeting you all!"

"You too," Ray said excitedly. The others waved to me right before I turned around and jogged to catch up with Jack.

We stood next to each other next to the portal. I grabbed their hand and dragged them through the portal.

"There they are," I let out a laugh when Dean yanked me into a tight hug. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," I stepped back and looked at the crowd in the room. "Oh. Wow. There's a lot of you."

"Where'd you end up," Sam asked from the front of the crowd.

"Oh... I've got a bit of a story..."

---------------------------------

Author's Note: I would love some art of Ray absolutely stressing out about this baby. Thank you for reading this very silly imagine.

---------------------------------

Masterlist

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

folklore/evermore Writing Challenge (and Masterlist)

Maisie Peters - “You Signed Up for This” Writing Challenge Masterlist

[hawkthewintersoldier]

When the Numb3rs Add Up to = (U+m3) Part 1: Friendly Meetings

“What’ve we got?”

The scene was bright and vibrant… including the blood on the ground, which was a brilliant ruby shade. Don Eppes, one of the lead agents at the FBI in Los Angeles, was kneeling and inspecting a female corpse, who was staring blankly up at the sky.

“Female, mid-to-late 20s, blond hair with deep brown roots… brown eyes.” Megan said, kneeling with Don and pointing. “…Same M.O…. He wrote ‘Trick or Treat’ across her forehead after stabbing her to death… sexually assaulted…”

Don groaned, his eyes going up as he stood. “…Damn.”

“Don.” David called out, gesturing them to look over at the body. “…Look. No splatters… nothing to suggest that this happened here.”

“No. She’s like the others… he’s taking them somewhere else and killing them.” David said, sighing. “…By some miracle of God, are there any prints? Cameras around here?”

“…Uh, sorry Don. No.” Colby said carefully as Don rubbed his temples. “…Is Charlie coming out?”

“Yeah, he’s on the way…”

At that moment, a vehicle pulled up… and Charlie, Don’s brother, stepped out of the passenger side, a notebook in his hands. Don whipped his head up, then shook his head, pointing at the body and gesturing for it to be covered as he walked.

“Charlie!”

“Hey, Don…” Charlie said, his eyes focused on the clues from the last two victims. “…What can you tell me?”

“…She’s in the same age-range… has naturally brown hair that was bleached blond… brown eyes… same build…”

Charlie stared at him, then glanced around at the body that was being zipped into a bag. She was young enough to be a student of his… a fact that made him cringe. “You realize that this practically guarantees that these women were targeted… and this person could be after them for any number of reasons regarding their looks, ages, even some other detail we don’t know about yet. We know their ideal target, but not the WHY…”

“I know, Charlie… it’s why the FBI’s got another person on this with you… how HAS your conversations with J. been?” Don asked, curiosity on his face as Charlie smiled slightly.

“He’s very clever… helped me a bit on figuring out a formula for all of these variables that simplified things a bit more. They have to be more than a mathematician…” Charlie said as a woman off to the side nodded and came over, having overheard.

“…They are.” She said, then offered her hand as Charlie took it. “Special Agent Cameron Dodge.” She said as Charlie shook her hand, nodding. “…Myers is a criminology student as well as a mathematics major over at CalSci. We’re looking forward to trying to hire them once they’re out of school.” She said as Charlie tilted his head to the side.

“A criminology student?”

“And mathematics, yes. They studied YOUR work, actually, Professor Eppes…” Cameron smiled, watching the surprised look go across his face. “Made them want to combine the two. I think their thesis paper is going to be on the proposed benefits of mathematics on the crime scene.”

“Oh, wow.” Charlie said, his eyes widening as Cameron nodded.

“Mmhmm…”

“I was actually thinking that it might be time to bring this guy in to see everything we have face to face and work directly with you, Charlie…” Don said as Charlie nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Charlie said, his eyes on Cameron as she nodded.

“Fantastic… They’re usually working on equations in CalSci’s math wing… room 16A.” Cameron said as Don stared at her. “…I used to go to them to get my questions answered when your brother was unavailable.” Cameron explained as Charlie and Don both nodded. “…You may as well go ahead and find them.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. I have to head back to CalSci anyhow…” Charlie said, smiling over at Don. “…See you.”

“Sure thing, Charlie.”

~*~

Charlie sighed as he headed through the halls of CalSci, a hand going through his curls tiredly as he glanced at the little piece of paper. He didn’t know much about this mystery mathematician he’d been working with the last few days, just that the FBI worked with them here and there, mostly by e-mail… but Agent Dodge said that she had worked with them personally before sending him to CalSci to get them… and they’re eccentric…

Don had just laughed, because he thought Charlie himself was eccentric… but Charlie never saw it as eccentric. He just… didn’t think like them. And that was ok. He saw the world more in numbers and equations than most did. Everything is numbers, after all…

“…Room 16A…” he muttered, glancing at each door as he walked. He knew every professor, minus a few new ones… but the students… some slid past him without him having met them… and the one he was meeting today was in that group. He never paid attention to memorizing names of students, just faces, but he had asked flat out if this J. Myers was a student of his… they’d said no, but they’d attended his lectures here and there. Apparently, face to face human interaction wasn’t a big thing for them, something Charlie understood. Big crowds weren’t his thing either.

“…J. Myers.” Charlie frowned, glancing at the door as he nodded. “…There. 16A.”

Walking in, he was expecting to find a mathematician at work…

What he FOUND… was a young woman with headphones on her head, her backside moving from side to side as her head bopped. Her hand reached out and grabbed a rice krispy treat off the table, her eyes not glancing over at all… An oversized plaid shirt hung loosely on her, unbuttoned in the front, with a black tank top beneath it, and pale blue jeans hugged her hips. He tilted his head to the side… glancing back at the paper, and he blinked.

“…Hello?”

She didn’t pay him a lick of attention, and that alone caused him to huff a bit and wave a hand.

“…Excuse me??”

Her mouth began mouthing lyrics, too quietly for him to hear… but he made out a few of them… and recognized the song as R. Kelly’s Ignition Remix… not a terrible song… but he wasn’t there to listen to music… or watch anyone dance to them.

Though… he had to admit… as she rolled her hips… she wasn’t terrible to look at… Her hands came up, fingers lacing through her hair before fluffing it as she moved, and he bit back a flush as he cleared his throat loudly.

Her head whipped around and she let out a shout of surprise, jumping from the shock of him seeming to appear out of nowhere. “OH MY GOD!” she yelped, then tugged her headphones off as he gave her a slightly bemused look. “W-WHAT’RE YOU DOING HERE?! WHO ARE YOU!?”

“Sorry… Professor Charlie Eppes… um, the FBI sent me, Agent Cameron Dodge told me that someone might be working on their formulas in here… but I guess they’re out.” Charlie sighed, his hands going into his pocket. “…Can you tell… um… J. Myers that I’m looking for them and that I’ll be in my office?” he asked as she nodded, her eyes wide. “Sorry to bother you in your… dance… session…” he snorted as she stared, then watched him turn.

He was quickly out the door… snorting under his breath… and he heard the sounds of chalk on a chalkboard. His sneakers squeaked as he stopped, a frown on his face as he made an about face and quickly walked back in.

There was the girl… headphones back on, her head bopping and that treat she’d picked up before now in her mouth… but she was working at the board. She was quickly writing out a formula, her eyes focused on the board as she nodded, glancing up in thought before continuing her writing… Her shoulders and hips swayed lightly as she quietly sang, her song having changed…

“Say my name, say my name… if no one is around you, say baby I love you, if you ain’t running games…”

He leaned against the frame of the door, his eyes on the formulas on the board… and he watched as she added more to them, her head bopping…

“…YOU.” He said loudly as she jumped again, her eyes wide as she whipped around.

“DO YOU HAVE A THING FOR SCARING GIRLS?!” she yelped, her eyes on his as he shook his head.

“No… I NEED to speak to J. Myers… Do you know where they are?” he asked as she stared. “…Look, we need them for an FBI case…”

She sighed… then moved her headphones to rest at her neck and setting the chalk down, moving towards him and extending her hand. “…Jennifer.” She said quietly as he took her hand. “…Jen. Jen Myers… senior.” Jen said as he nodded, grinning a bit.

“You COULD have said that.”

“You never gave me a chance.”

Charlie simply chuckled, nodding. “…I guess I really didn’t.” he admitted, then glanced at her equations. They weren’t from the current case… these were more delicate and had been nearly perfected. “…For your thesis?” he asked curiously as she nodded. “…Master’s degree?” he asked as she blinked at him, then simply pointed at the formulas.

“…My thesis is on the application of mathematics in the criminology field, specifically the use of mathematics in the solving of crimes.” Jen said carefully, watching as he nodded. “…Some of it comes from your research and formulas, actually… credited in my paper of course.” she said quickly as he grinned, pointing at the formula.

“I recognize parts of this… this part here, for example… and the bit after it… but you’ve refined some of it. Where’d you get some of this?” Charlie asked curiously as she shifted, then glanced at him.

“…FBI databases.”

“Did you hack it?” he asked with amusement as she shook her head fast.

“No, of course not! I was gathering data for a case… and found it. I found it fascinating, so I… acquired it.”

Charlie simply nodded, his eyes lit up. “…Well you’ve done a great job with it… I like the substitution you used here… it simplifies the equation.”

“I know… part of my thesis is making a computer program that can utilize the mathematical aspects that people like you come up with and come up with likely variables and hypotheses for the investigators to use… the world isn’t filled with Professor Eppes’, after all.” Jen said with a grin, watching as he laughed a bit.

“It’s clever. Might put me out of a job at the FBI, but…” he snorted with amusement as she blinked, her eyes widening.

“Oh, NO! Not at all!” Jen said, grabbing her papers to rifle through them. “There would still need to be someone making new, up-to-date equations for the program to run…”

“I was kidding… Do you prefer Jennifer or Jen?” Charlie asked as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

“…Jen.”

“Ok… well I was kidding, Jen.” Charlie grinned, then stared at the board, his eyes going over her equations, then glancing at her as she moved beside him again, her eyes focused. “…You know, these really are good.”

“Thanks… I was going to ask you for your professional opinion once this case was solved…” Jen said, bringing her chalk back up as Charlie nodded, then peered at her.

“Why DID you never tell me your NAME…?” he asked as she blinked, then shrugged. “…You knew who I was.”

“Who here on campus doesn’t?” Jen said pointedly, a smile tugging at her lips as he ran a hand through his hair. “…I’m just a nobody.” She shrugged, her eyes going to another line of the equation. “…my name doesn’t matter.”

“I’d have wanted to get to know who I was working with.” Charlie said pointedly as she nodded, glancing at him before continuing.

“…Sorry about that, then.” She said, frowning up at her equation. “…I’m not really a people-person. I’ve been told my social skills are lacking.” Jen said as he laughed.

“I understand THAT.” He said, then tilted his head to the side… then grabbed an eraser, removing a portion of the formula before editing what had been there a bit, her head whipping to him as he smiled. “…There. That should eliminate a few steps in the formula.”

She leaned forward… then nodded, her eyes widening. “…Thank you!”

“You’re welcome.” Charlie said, glancing at the door. “…so… there was a reason I came.” He said, holding out a folder as she frowned, then took it and opened it… and paled a bit. “…Another one. This morning.” Charlie said quietly as she nodded, her eyes wide.

“…Damn.”

“Yeah. We have more information, but it also adds variables… we have to pick through them… plug them into a chart to see what aspects align with each victim.” Charlie said, pointing at the paper to show her a few details as Jen nodded.

“Agreed… I’d also suggest some data mining… analyze the victims based on their characteristics… maybe it’ll give you more of an idea as to who the next victim might be.”

“Right, right… I’d thought of that, but we didn’t have enough to go on… but this makes victim four.” Charlie nodded, glancing at the photo and some of the information that he’d jotted down. “…I can work with this… WE can, if you’re interested in helping…”

“I absolutely am.” Jen nodded, her eyes on the photo. “…We’ll figure this out.”

“I hope so…”

[valleydean]

Chapter Six [read here]

The Shawnee Trail read from beginning | playlist | ko-fi

Fic Summary: In 1887, Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak lead a peaceful life in Lawrence, Kansas. Dean and Sam are stagecoach messengers for Wells, Fargo and Castiel is the town doctor. When Castiel's patient, Kelly Kline, knocks on their door one night about to give birth, she asks for the Winchesters and Castiel's help in protecting her son against one of the west's most notorious outlaws. To fulfill that promise, the men set out on a journey full of shootouts, trouble with the law, gambling, and an important discovery: Dean and Castiel really need to define the nature of their relationship.

Chapter Preview:

The crowd started punching the air and chanting, “Kansas!  Kansas!”

Dean appeared to garner energy from it, and Sam hoped it was enough.  He was biting down so hard on his jaw, his teeth were starting to hurt.  Next to them, Charlie was clapping, but she was nowhere near as uproarious as the crowd anymore.  She seemed just as somberly worried as Sam felt.

Over her head, Sam shared a look with Cas.  Cas pouted and shook his head, nostrils flaring.

“He can do this,” Sam told him with more confidence than he felt.  He hoped Cas could hear him over the crowd.

There was about a seventy-five percent chance Dean would die.

The MC took the center of the ring, his hands going up to silence the crowd.  When they were quiet enough, he shouted out, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have one final match for you tonight—a match that will determine who goes home tonight with one-hundred dollars!”

“Come on, Kansas!” someone from the back hollered.  Dean’s smile went from ear to ear, and Sam noticed he had a fat lip.

“Looks like Dean’s the underdog,” Charlie said as the MC kept on.  She looked up at Sam before her eyes went back to Dean.  “That’s good, right?”

Sam wanted to say yes.  He shrugged, forlorn.  “Only if he wins.”

The crowd was clapping again, which meant the fight was starting.  Sam looked back to find the giant lumbering out onto the ring.  Dean’s posture went slightly more rigid.  He stepped forward to offer his hand.

“Good luck, big guy.  Remember, there’s no shame in losing,” Dean teased, loud enough for the people in the front of the crowd to hear.  Sam let out a desperate breath.  The giant grunted, unamused, and the sound seemed to echo from the depths of the earth.

The two of them went to opposite sides of the circle.  Dean turned around fully, his gaze latching onto Sam’s.  Sam tried to shove his fear down, to put every ounce of support on his face that he could muster.  He nodded at Dean.

Dean nodded back, and then his gaze flashed to the side, to Cas.  He held his eyes a little longer as he lifted the chain around his neck and brought the pendants to his lips.  Sam knew he wasn’t kissing the Anasazi symbol.

Dean spun around.  He hopped from foot to foot and loosened out his shoulders.

The cowbell rang.

/////

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[sugarbutterbroadway]

Life is hard for dreamers dark chocolate pie

A/n this chapter depicts domestic violence and emotional manipulation explicitly. Please proceed with caution

“They say times are hard for dreamers, but they won’t be hard for me-”

“I’ve saved up everything I know, to take that step beyond the lawn…”Jack sang softly along with the radio. “Keep walkin till I see the station and then see it go…” It was late now. The diners' rules were they opened early and closed even earlier. Mr.Jacobi was no saint—he was honestly a thorn in Jack’s side most days—but even he knew it was dangerous to be in this part of town too late. Always said it was because he didn’t want to mop the blood off the sidewalk, but deep down Jack knew he cared.

Everyone else took that gratefully and clocked out as soon as the clock struck 8pm, but Jack didn’t. He liked to come in early and stay late, anything to keep him from spending too much time at home. He liked the quiet, liked to play his music and finally get the clarity to work.

“They say times are hard for dreamers, and who knows maybe they are”he sang as he wiped the flour off his station. “...and I might be a dreamer, but it’s gotten me this far and that is far enough for me”

Jack Kelly was a dreamer, anyone who knew him could tell you. His mother always said he spent more time with his head in the clouds than his feet on the ground. Back when he was young, and his parents would argue, his mind started to wander. Always told himself he’d grow up to be a cowboy, lasso his dad and hog tie him to a railroad track, then him and his mama would ride away into the sunset. He always told himself he was going to save her. Now she was long gone and here he was almost thirty years old working the same job day in and out. He couldn’t save her, he can’t even save himself.

Yeah he was a dreamer all right. He came to New York with a dream,a guitar and a sketchbook full of all the places he would see. He fingers flexed against the damp rag, what he would give to hold that guitar one last time…

Jack smiled as he strolled down the long hallway, suitcase in tow. He shot a cheesy grin over his shoulder, “C’mon mama! I wanna see who i’m roomin with!”

“Hold your horses cowboy”she warned, though she was smiling. “My legs don’t move as fast as they used to”

“That’s because they never did”He snorted, “It won’t be that bad, it should be around this corner”

“Jack Francis, you’re gonna put me in an early grave”she sighed.

“Mama!”he scolded, “don’t say things like that! I swear I can’t take you anywhere, you don’t behave!”

“Says you”she chuckled, “ain’t it that one right there?”

Room 228. Jack skidded to a halt in front of the door and froze.

“Well go on then”she said, “no time for bein shy now”

“Mama-”

“Go!” her hand had twisted the handle and he stumbled inside. To his dismay the room definitely wasn’t empty. Two blonde boys sat chatting on one of the beds. They must have already been friends, Jack didn’t want to intrude-

“Oh hi!”the shorter one said, his grin was a lil goofy, it made Jack want to smile too. “The names Charlie but my friends call me Crutchie, you must be Jack”

Crutchie? He stifled a gasp and nodded. “Y-yeah that’s me”

“This is my friend Race”Crutchie said, “I hope you don’t mind him being here, he’s just chillin until his roommate arrives”

“It’s no problem at all but...Race?”he asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah, you got a problem with that?”Race said, his accent was heavy, he must be local.

“Did I say I have a problem with it?”he asked, folding his arms over his chest. Race looked him over once, then twice and finally smiled.

“Kids got a backbone, I like ‘im”Race said. Crutchie rolled his eyes and turned to fully face Jack.

“Don’t mind him, he’s got an attitude problem and an ego the size of manhattan”

“Hey!”

“Did I lie?”Crutchie said, raising a brow. Race just flopped back on the bed with a wounded sigh.

“Oh!”Crutchie said after a few seconds, “The nicknames! It’s a thing our friends used to do from high school—”

“Being friends with theatre kids gets you into some weird shit”Race warned.

“Racer, you were a theatre kid”Crutchie said.

“Oh yeah!”

“Anyways”Crutchie said, “it was like a way of expressing individuality and all that fun stuff! I’m Crutchie because well, my crutch—”

“I’m Racetrack because I was the best at cross country”Race with a wink.

“And since the boys—and girls, can’t forget smalls—aren’t here to grill you, it’s your lucky day! You get to pick your own”Crutchie said. Jack’s head was spinning but he nodded.

“Well my mama calls me Cowboy”He said.

“Ooo very country”Race said, “What’s the story behind that?”

“It’s um...it’s a long story?”He said weakly. Before Crutchie could speak, Race had grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the bed.

“We’ve got time cowboy, spill”

He thought he had hit the jackpot. He was going to school on a full ride,he had amazing friends and for the most part he got to do what he loved. But he was still young, young and so naive. He was working at a Starbucks just off campus when he met her, the woman who made him so weak.

“Here’s my number, handsome. Call me, I promise you won’t regret it”She was beautiful. His hands shook and he stuttered out a promise that he would.

-----

“A music major at NYU?”She giggled, “Does that mean you plan on serenading me?”

“If that’s what you want”He smiled.

“You know what I want?”She said leaning closer.

“Y-yeah?”

“I want you to write a song for me”she said, right against his ear. “Make it good, yeah?” He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to it.

“Anything you want Eve”

-----

She made him feel like they were the only two on earth. She was always so sure of herself, no matter what she was doing, it was intoxicating. She wined and dined him and to a broke college student that was heaven. It was heaven.

Until it wasn’t.

“Where are you going?”She asked. Jack tilted his head and put down the bottle of cologne, it was Armani, much more than he could afford.

“I’m going out with Race and Crutchie, I told you this earlier baby”He said. She frowned and walked over musing a hand through his hair.

“I thought we were going to watch a movie today?”she asked, “and why are you wearing that cologne anyways? What’s the occasion?”

“Ain’t no occasion baby”He said, “ I just like it cause it smells good, no reason to fuss.”

“What about our movie?”She said, the grip in his hair had gotten tighter. 

“I haven’t seen them in weeks!”he insisted, then winced as her hand balled into a fist.

“Don’t raise your voice at me Kelly”She said, “You won’t like the consequences”

“E-Eve”he stammered, “Baby that hurts-”

“Good”She said, “Maybe you’ll learn not to cancel our dates to hang out with your stupid friends” before he could respond she had yanked her hand back and stomped out of the room. He took a deep breath and picked up his phone.

“Crutchie? Yeah um, something came up”

-----

“You know, you don’t need that music school anyways”She said, not tearing her eyes away from the mirror. “What are they teaching you that you don’t already know?”

“How to be a musician?”he chuckled, “There’s so much I still need to learn, I haven’t even scratched the surface yet”

“Yeah but maybe you can go in less?”She said, “do you really need to be there five days a week?”

“Baby please-”he started, but she lifted a hand. He flinched.

“Don’t baby me Kelly”she hissed, “Don’t you think I was a student once? I know you don’t need to be there so often. What are you trying to hide from me?”

“Nothing Eve-”

“Are you cheating on me?”She asked. His eyes went wide and he quickly shook his head.

“N-no baby I would never-!”

“Tell me you love me”She said.

“Eve we’ve never even said that before-”

“Say it!”She shouted. The glass tube filled with crimson lipstick hit the bathroom counter and shattered into fragments. She ignored it and glared at him.

“I love you”He said softly.

“hm”She said, and stared. It felt like she was ripping him apart. “No you don’t”

“I-I do!”he said, “I promise I do, just please Eve-”

“Say it like you mean it then”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I love you”

She smiled and brought a hand up to cup his cheek. “I wanna hear you say that forever”

He leaned into the touch and shivered as she ran a sharp nail across his jaw. “Then i’ll say it for forever”

“Oh what did I do to deserve you?”She whispered, “You’re too good to me Jack, you know that? Like some angel sent from heaven”

-----

“When are we going to get married?”she asked. Jack choked on his french fry, she stared.

“Married?”He asked softly, he knew better than to raise his voice. “Eve I...I’m only nineteen”

“Yeah but we’re so good together Jackie”she pouted. “Besides, I can provide for us. I've got a good paying job. You can leave that music school behind and write songs for me all day long--oh! How’s that one go? The one about sunshine”

“u-uh”He stuttered, “you want me to sing it here?”

“That’s what I said”she said, rolling her eyes.

“Till the sun don’t shine, i’ll be yours, you'll be mine”He sang quietly.

“I thought you changed those lyrics”She huffed. “I told you I didn’t like them”

“You’re right baby”he said, “my mind is just a little woozy right now, what drink did you get me?” “It doesn’t matter,”she said. “The song?”

“Till the sun don’t shine, you will still be mine…”

-----

They had been married for three months until it happened. Eve had lost her Job and she had gotten so drunk...Jack’s knees buckled underneath him and he gripped the table for support.

“Jack Kelly what did I say about raising your voice!”

She had been so mad.

“I’m not asking you to drop out, i’m telling you!”

The bottle had only just missed his head.

“If you leave, i’m going to kill myself. I’m going to kill myself because i am nothing without you! And that’s going to be on your conscious! Don’t think your mama would like that would she!”

“You don’t know shit about my mama!”he shouted back, “leave her out of this!”

Smack. 

His head had whipped to the side before the pain had registered. Once it did she was already apologizing.

“I-I’m sorry Jackie”she whispered, stroking his cheek. “I didn’t mean to, I just-...do you still love me?”

His eyes were blurred with tears. “Yes”

“Say it”

“I-I..-”

“Jackie say it, please”

“I love you”

“Sing to me. You know i love it when you sing”

They had both ended up on the floor. Eve in his lap as he rocked her gently, he had never seen her so small.

“Till the sun don’t shine…”

-----

Jack took a few seconds on the floor to compose himself. Hot tears were streaming down his face and it was like they couldn’t stop. He pulled his knees up to his chest, and rocked himself back and forth back and forth. Just like his mama used to. He stayed like this until the oven beeped and sent him hurtling back into reality. He pulled himself up and wiped his face off on his apron.

“Let’s get this out the oven”he mumbled to himself and grabbed the oven mitts. It smelled delicious but even the thought of eating made him nauseous , he was exhausted, and he still needed to get home.

He placed it on the cooling rack and scribbled a title on a sticky note.

Life is hard for dreamers dark chocolate pie

He placed a glass case over it to keep it fresh. On the way out he made sure to hang up his apron, and lock up the kitchen. He didn’t care if the diner got robbed, but no one was touching his pies. He pulled on his coat and fished in his backpack for his earbuds and metrocard. Too tired to pick a song he just left them in for warmth and locked up the diner. As he walked towards the train station his head remained in the clouds.

“They say times are hard for dreamers, but they won’t be hard for me…”

I've saved up everything I know, to take that step beyond the lawn. Keep walking till I see the station, and then see it go.

[hollyoaksloversx]

Happy 25th Birthday, Hollyoaks!

Rounding up a week in Hollyoaks (19th-23rd October 2020)

This week marked Hollyoaks’ 25th anniversary, and we were treated to scenes featuring a terrifying doll blackmailing the McQueen’s. As we know, at the end of last week, the McQueen’s began receiving mysterious text messages and this week, the family began being blackmailed; their ‘seven deadly sins’ would be revealed if they did not cough up. Mercedes instantly accused James and confronted him in the village, but she was soon summoned back to The Dog by Nana, who had taken delivery of a package containing a doll. The doll demanded a payment of £7000 in exchange for silence of the first sin; wrath. Sylver realised that the sin related to Breda’s death and, worrying about his relationship with Cher, was determined that his secret should stay hidden. Believing that James was the culprit, Sylver went to see him, and nearly attacked him until Mercedes and Goldie dragged him away. Later, Mercedes went to see James and asked him to pay the money, pointing out that he owed her following the shooting. James coughed up, and there was relief all round when the money was transferred only a few seconds over the deadline. However, despite the family insisting that those few seconds wouldn’t matter, the police turned up to arrest Sylver...

The McQueen’s were left reeling following Sylver’s arrest and Mercedes even asked George to destroy any evidence they had against him. When George refused, Mercedes shouted after him that he could never be a part of their family. Sylver was later released, and was forced to come clean to Cher when she demanded to know where he’d been. As Sylver confessed to murdering Breda, Cher had a confession of her own, and confided in Sylver about how she’d been responsible for the death of her younger sister by pushing her into a swimming pool whilst on holiday. Don’t worry, Cher, you’re in great company with the McQueen’s...

Later that day, George arrived at The Dog and informed John Paul that he’d been responsible for Sylver’s release, as he’d done what Mercedes had asked and destroyed the evidence. John Paul was angry at George for interfering, but everyone was soon distracted by the blackmailer’s next message, this time, offering them a way out if they could guess their identity. However, Mercedes refused to be drawn in, and insisted they should ignore it, unaware that she was being watched by serial killer granddad, Silas Blissett! The McQueen’s were soon in party mode when Mercedes revealed that she was pregnant, much to the delight of Sylver. Silas followed Mercedes as she went to call Myra, and prepared to strike, only to be stopped in his tracks when he learned of the pregnancy...

Meanwhile, Tony was shocked when Verity and Diane arrived at the caravan to start divorce proceedings. Tony hired Sami to represent him and the foursome held a meeting to discuss matters, but Tony ended up storming off when Sami and Verity couldn’t stop squabbling. After hearing that the meeting hadn’t gone well, Edward went to see Tony and told him that the stress of the situation was causing Diane to lose her hair. Later, Tony went to see Diane and informed her that he’d signed the divorce papers. As Tony began facing up to a life without Diane, he was intrigued to receive a message from the ‘love of his life’ requesting a meeting at The Hutch the following day. As Tony arrived at the restaurant, a motorbike pulled up outside, and Tony was shocked to find his old friend, Kurt Benson, who died in a jet ski accident in 1999, standing in front of him. Turns out, Kurt’s not dead after all...

Elsewhere, Victor was pressuring Juliet to find them some new dealers and, after pointing out that girls attract less attention than boys, told her to get Ella on board. The following day, when Ella went to meet Charlie for lunch, Juliet turned up, and suggested that the three of them should hang out. Although initially thrilled that an older girl wanted to be friends with her, Juliet’s sinister intentions were revealed, when she suggested to Charlie that it was time for Ella to know where his recent wealth had come from. Ella was horrified to hear what Juliet and Charlie had gotten themselves involved in, and categorically refused to be a part of it. However, Juliet frightened Ella when she revealed that she’d hidden a package of weed in the kitchen of The Hutch, and told her she needed to retrieve it to prevent Mandy getting into trouble. Ella did as she was told, and later went to meet Juliet to return the package. Juliet instructed Ella to place the package into Charlie’s backpack, before revealing that she’d captured the whole interaction on video...

Finally, Yasmine was down in the dumps about the state of her relationship with Tom, but was determined to get things back on track, starting with getting him to say he loved her. On the advice of Misbah, Yasmine invited Tom round for dinner, but things didn’t go well when he realised that he and Yazz wanted different things out of life and suggested that they break up, feeling like his desire to remain in the village would hold her back. Yazz refused to accept Tom’s decision, and was determined to win him back. After learning that Tom was planning to go and visit Holly in France, Yazz knew she would have to act quickly, and begged Cindy to stall him. When the pair came face to face in the village, Tom told Yazz that he’d lost too many people to risk losing her too. As Cindy, Mandy and Darren gathered round, Yazz showed Tom a video she’d made, featuring all of the villagers reading out a love letter she’d written to Tom. Tom was overwhelmed by Yazz’s gesture, and was even more so when she proposed! There was delight all round when Tom accepted! 

This Week’s Cast:

Brody, Brooke, Celeste, Charlie, Cher, Cindy, Courtney, Damon, Darren, Diane, Edward, Ella, Felix, George, Goldie, Grace, Imran, Jack, James, Joel, John Paul, Jordan, Juliet, Kurt, Liberty, Luke, Mandy, Marnie, Martine, Maxine, Mercedes, Misbah, Mitchell, Nana McQueen, Nancy, Peri, Ripley, Romeo, Sally, Sami, Scott, Sid, Sienna, Sylver, Theresa, Toby, Tom, Tony, Verity, Victor, Walter, Warren and Yasmine. 

Blasts from the Past:

Lucy Benson, James ‘Jambo’ Bolton, Holly Cunningham, Max Cunningham, Carol Groves, Grace Hutchinson, Kyle Kelly, Julie Matthews, Breda McQueen, Kathleen Angel McQueen, Myra McQueen, Myra-Pocahontas McQueen, Sinead O’Connor, Ruth Osborne, Donna Marie Quinn, Harry Thompson and Calvin Valentine.

[troyplaysbass]

We’ll Grow Stronger Making Room and Sharing Space: 2019 In Review

It’s the end of the year and the end of the decade (more on the latter in this post). It’s the time for me to reflect on the year and think too much about lists. Some things will never change.

Music I Worked On This Year

Jeff Schaller and the Long Way Home - “Younger Years” (guitar, recording, mixing, mastering)

Apocalypse Quest - Paradoxes (mixing, mastering)

Sloth Hands - Vacation’s Over (mastering)

Apocalypse Quest - “Mediocre Boys” (recording, mixing, mastering)

Flora Self - “Didn’t See It Coming” (bass, recording, mixing, mastering)

Pelafina - “Blue and Gold” (guitar)

Apocalypse Quest - “CEO Blood” (recording, mixing, mastering)

Apocalypse Quest - ERBA (recording, mixing, mastering)

My Favorite Albums of 2019

I’ve had a one-sentence review of my number one album, Breakup Season by Future Teens, in my head for a few months: If I had heard this when I was seventeen, I might have been a better person. That sounds hyperbolic, but I haven’t been able to shake the idea. I know I could have used this album as a teenager. It’s so honest and introspective about heartbreak and sadness and dealing with those emotions in healthy ways. I’m so happy that a band like Future Teens exists. I’m jealous of the kid that hears Breakup Season this year and connects to it like I connected to The Upsides. Future Teens will be that kid’s first favorite band, the soundtrack to their formative years, their inspirations and role models. I keep likening this album to The Upsides, probably the single most influential album on my past ten years. It feels like a torch-passing at the end of the decade, and it’s all the more apt because I saw Future Teens open for the Wonder Years in October.

The rest of my list feels as varied as my year, spanning genre and scope from emo debuts to the biggest pop artist in the world. As always, I think there’s a lot to love on this list, so pick something and give it a spin.

Future Teens - Breakup Season

Charly Bliss - Young Enough

Pedro the Lion - Phoenix

The Menzingers - Hello Exile

The Mountain Goats - In League With Dragons

Jimmy Eat World - Surviving

Taylor Swift - Lover

Origami Angel - Somewhere City

The Get Up Kids - Problems

Telethon - Hard Pop

Proper. - I Spent the Winter Writing Songs About Getting Better

Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - Routine Maintenance

Ceres - We Are a Team

Oso Oso - Basking In the Glow

Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center

The Dangerous Summer - Mother Nature

Somos - Prison On a Hill

Dave Hause - Kick

American Football - LP3

Bruce Springsteen - Western Stars

Junius Paul - Ism

The Maine - You Are OK

Nervus - Tough Crowd

Great Grandpa - Four of Arrows

Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride

My Favorite EPs of 2019

Better Love - All I Ever Wanted Is To Be Where You Are

Mineral - One Day When We Are Young

Ruston Kelly - Dirt Emo, Volume 1

Rat Tally - When You Wake Up

Bosley Jr - No More

My Favorite Songs of 2019

Here’s a playlist on Apple Music and Spotify of songs I loved this year. It’s vaguely in order (at least the top ten or so).

My Favorite Shows of 2019

I went to 63 shows this year, 35 of which I played. Here were my favorites. These were all great, but the John K. Samson show is a contender for my all-time favorite performance. He doesn’t tour much, so make it a priority to see him if you have the chance.

John K. Samson and Christine Fellows - 11/23 at Beat Kitchen

The Wonder Years, Future Teens - 10/20 at Metro

Ruston Kelly - 11/1 at Thalia Hall

Mineral - 1/24 at Lincoln Hall

Pedro the Lion - 5/18 at The Castle Theater

Jacob Sigman, Jetty Bones - 3/29 at Beat Kitchen

The Sidekicks, Adult Mom - 7/7 at Subterranean

Spanish Love Songs - 5/19 at Cobra Lounge

Los Campesinos! - 7/6 at West Fest

We Were Promised Jetpacks - 7/13 at Bottom Lounge

My Favorite Podcasts of 2019

Two Headed Girl is the best new podcast I listened to this year. It’s a chronicle of gender dysphoria, transitioning, and marriage. Hosts Alex and Matthew Cox are unflinching in their honesty with each other about their lives, health, and feelings. It’s kind of amazing that they recorded all of this and are willing to share such a personal journey with the world.

Elsewhere in the podcast world, two of my favorite long-running podcasts hit new highs in 2019. On episode 102 of Reconcilable Differences, “Preparing the Way,” John Siracusa buys a refrigerator. The two-hour chronicle of this harrowing adventure is everything I love about the podcast format. And The Watch, Chris Ryan and Andy Greenwald’s twice weekly talk about movies and TV, transitioned from purely critique to a behind the scenes look at making a TV show as Andy called in from the set and editing room of his upcoming show, Briarpatch.

Finally, I’ll recommend Michael Lewis’s Against the Rules, a meticulously researched exploration of societal rules and the people who make and enforce them. Unlike the long-running conversational shows I typically like, the tight format and high production value make Against the Rules feel more like an audio book.

My Favorite Books of 2019

As usual, I read very few new releases this year, but the few I did read were fantastic: Hanif Abdurraqib’s latest poetry collection, A Fortune For Your Disaster, Mark Z. Danielewski’s children’s book for all ages, The Little Blue Kite, and Mischa Pearlman’s One Day When We Are Young, a retrospective on the emo band Mineral and a companion piece to their first new music in over twenty years.

The best book I read this year, regardless of release date, was The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver.

My Favorite Television of 2019

I started 2019 with the vague goal of “keeping up” with TV, but I quickly realized that’s impossible. There’s just too much great TV. With that in mind, I just want to highlight a few of my favorite shows of the year, all remarkable for very different reasons, which also happen to be short and digestible.

Fleabag - Season 2

A tour de force of emotion and energy, every episode left me thinking that writer / producer / star Phoebe Waller-Bridge might be the most talented person alive.

Watchmen

Every frame of this show is immaculate. I’m a longtime defender of the endings of Lost and The Leftovers so I had confidence in Damon Lindelof and his team to pull this sequel/remix, and my expectations were still far exceeded.

When They See Us

Ava Duvernay’s docu-drama about the Central Park Five is a heart-wrenching examination of injustice. The opening sequence alone is worth the price of a Netflix subscription.

Chernobyl

A different kind of bleak docu-drama, set on the opposite side of the world as When They See Us, Chernobyl is equal parts moving, gruesome, frustrating, and deeply sad.

And I can’t leave the TV section without giving a shout to Baby Yoda on The Mandalorian, constant cause of delighted squeals (both Liesi’s and mine) every time he’s on screen.

My Favorite Movies of 2019

As always, I'm very behind on movies at the end of year, but Knives Out is a masterpiece. 1. Knives Out 2. Marriage Story 3. The Irishman 4. Booksmart 5. Midsommar 6. The Report 7. Toy Story 4 8. Us 9. Dolemite Is My Name 10. High Life

Next Year

I haven’t made a formal new year’s resolution in quite a few years, but I do have some plans for 2020.

Pelafina will be releasing a new EP in the next couple months. More on that very soon.

The Long Way Home are deep in the process of recording our next album. That will hopefully be out later in the spring.

I didn’t make a single blog post this year, and I want to change that. I don’t have a clear structure in mind, but I just want to write more.

I’m going to listen to more jazz.

[amirosebooks]

Destiel / SPN Fics by Amirosebooks

This is crossposted to my Pillowfort page (same username as here) where you can actually see the links to the fics. Or you can find them on my AO3 page (also the same username). I’m not abandoning my Tumblr yet, but I will start sharing more things over on Pillowfort and will, eventually, likely migrate there entirely.

❤ Ami

A Chance G · 1,800 Words Getting together · Valentine’s Day fic · Fluff

For the DeanCas Writing Challenge September 2018. Prompt "I would be lucky to even have a chance with you.”

❤ The Rewatch T · 2,100 Words Bi!Dean  · John Winchester’s A+ Parenting  · Homophobia  · Background Femslash  · Charlie Bradbury Lives · Angst & Fluff

Based on the prompt "H-How long have you been standing there?"

Dean's is having a shitty day, a shitty week even. He ran into one of his exes unexpectedly and needs some time to himself to decompress. He retires to The Dean Cave to rewatch one of his favorite movies, hoping it will distract him from his memories. (It doesn't.)

They Were Going To Die Here T · 2,000 Words Kidnapped Dean & Cas · Love Confessions · Whump

Based on the prompt: "I told you not to fall in love with me."

Dean and Cas were captured weeks ago and are starting to lose hope of making it out alive. Somehow I'm not convinced Dean would be having a blaze of glory conversation with Cas in that situation with him instead of Sam.

Goop G · 2,000 Words Team Free Will · Destiel if you squint a lot · Goo · Comedy

Written for the Seasons fan fiction anthology. This story is from the Summer section which was intended to cover themes like: freedom, laughter, fun; sunshine, hot days; swimming, sunburns; slow, lazy, relaxed; contentment; flourishing growth, childhood; no regrets or second thoughts; unreality; disconnected from the darkness of “real life”; the prime of life; Fourth of July, Stanford, vacation from school.

I opted for writing a quick story celebrating a happy, ridiculous Team Free Will at its finest on a hunt sort of moment. I've been told by my main beta that the subject matter (witch guts) is sort of gross so keep that in mind.

The Orb T · 1,300 Words Team Free Will · Sammy Knows · Lovecraftian Monsters · Goo · Comedy

From the prompt: "You're lucky you're cute."

Cas brings a strange souvenir back from a hunt.

Band T-Shirts T · 2,500 Words Team Free Will · Domestic Fluff and Crack · Post Season 13 · Cas Gets A New Wardrobe · Agent Beyoncé References

From this prompt: There's a sort of standard fanon idea that when Cas becomes human, he borrows Dean's clothes for a while, and then eventually the brothers take him to Good Will or wherever for his own clothes.

I want to see that shopping trip. Basically just an excuse for fun shenanigans in a thrift store. I was thinking very new relationship for Dean and Cas, early days. Bonus points if Sam and Dean have some kind of game they've been playing in thrift stores across the country since they were kids, and if Cas comes up with some super goofy outfits. :D

❤ Forgetting Your Blues M · 3,500 Words Temporary Canonical Character Death · Post Season 12 · Fluff and Angst · Getting Together · Fix-It Fic · Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester

Dean Jones doesn't know his real name. He woke up on a public park bench a few months back with an empty wallet and a driver's license listing the name Dean Jones with his picture. The name doesn't feel right on his tongue, but he doesn't remember what part is wrong. The cop who found him in the park got Dean a job in a local diner. The diner feels comfortable to Dean. He understands the rhythm of the place, the ebb and flow of the people and food, even if he's clearly never carried a tray of hot plates in his life. He settles into his new life. He makes new friends. He takes beautiful women and men and people to his bed for comfort on long nights. He has nightmares about blood covering his hands. Who is he? Why has no one come looking for him? What has he done? Why did he fall apart when he saw a guy wearing a tan trenchcoat?

Letters To Ghosts Not Rated · 2,400 Words Temporary Canonical Character Death · Post Season 12 · The Mixtape · Season 13 Coda · Angst With A Happy Ending · Grieving Dean

All Dean wanted was a cup of coffee. What he got instead was a whole bunch of feelings and a raincheck he might never get to cash in.

❤ Humanity’s Angels E · 93,000 Words Case Fic · Canon Divergent Season 12 Fic · Bi!Dean · John Winchester’s A+ Parenting · Team Everyone Switches · Past Rape/Non-Con · BiPhobia · Canon-Typical Violence · Side Original Characters OT3 · Background Saileen · Jealous!Dean

To get their minds off of Kelly Kline, Lucifer, and the BMOL, Dean and Sam take a case in Northern Arizona where a rogue angel was seen flashing his wings at a film festival and ranting about blasphemy. They quickly realize that there might be more to this case than they’d initially thought. The angel fits all the characteristics of being a ghost—EMF readings, see-through body, air chilling ability, and all. A local man is found with his eyes burned out like he was the victim of a smiting keeps them in town after salting and burning the angel’s buried vessel in hopes of dispelling his ghost. Between all of this, Dean is finding it hard to keep his feelings for Cas under wraps. Especially when everywhere he looks and everyone he talks to reminds him of how much energy he’s spent hiding his sexuality from his family over the years. Will watching the ghost angel’s grieving best friend mourn the loss of the angel he’d loved spur Dean into confessing his own feelings before it’s too late? Will an angel from Cas's past be able to succeed where Ishim failed? Who the hell has Sam been texting? Will someone please tell Mary what the hell is going on with her sons? Will any of Team Free Will learn to use their damn words?

❤ Hands On Me E · 2,300 Words Bi!Dean · Masturbation · Car Sex · Voyeurism

Dean just finished working a case by himself and was on his way to meet Sam and Eileen a few states away when he pulled over for the night. All Dean wanted was to grab a few hours of sleep in Baby before he had to leave again. His wandering mind had other plans.

This Feeling I Can’t Change G · 2,400 Words Hurt/Comfort · Pining · Season 9 · Graceless Cas · Canon Typical Not Getting Together Moments

Set during season 9 with graceless!Cas and hurt!Dean. An almost first kiss, some pining and feelings.

Cobbled Together Lifetime G · 1,500 Words Angst · Bittersweet · Winchester Family Feels

Mary finds a photo album in the bunker that documents her sons's lives in pictures.

The Mantra G · 3,100 Words 12x12 Coda · Hurt/Comfort · Fluff and Angst · First Kiss · Platonic Bed Sharing and Cuddling

Following the events of 12.12, Dean wakes up from a nightmare shouting Cas's name. Which works out well, since Cas can't sleep or relax either after everything that went on. Dean introduces Cas to some of the healthier coping mechanisms he knows.

[dweemeister]

My alternative 91st Academy Awards

As always during 31 Days of Oscar, I partake in an annual fantasy. What would the Oscars look like if I stuffed the ballots - choosing every single nomination and choosing every single winner? It always would look a lot different. Fans of Black Panther and Bohemian Rhapsody and Vice? Come at me.

91st Academy Awards – February 24, 2019 Dolby Theatre – Hollywood, Los Angeles, California Host: None Broadcaster: ABC

Best Picture: ROMA

BlacKkKlansman, Sean McKittrick, Jason Blum, Raymond Mansfield, Jordan Peele, and Spike Lee (Focus)

Burning (KOR), Lee Joon-dong and Lee Chang-dong (Pinehouse Film/Now Film/NHK/CGV Arthouse/Well Go USA Entertainment)

Eighth Grade, Scott Rudin, Eli Bush, Lila Yacoub, and Christopher Storer (A24)

The Favourite, Ceci Dempsey, Ed Guiney, Lee Magiday, and Yorgos Lanthimos (Fox Searchlight)

Mission: Impossible – Fallout, J.J. Abrams, Tom Cruise, Christopher McQuarrie, and Jake Myers (Paramount)

Roma (MEX), Alfonso Cuarón, Gabriela Rodriguez, and Nicolas Celis (Netflix)

Shoplifters (JPN), Matsuzaki Kaoru, Yose Akihiko, and Taguchi Hijiri (AOI Promotion/Fuji TV/GAGA/Magnolia Pictures)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Avi Arad, Ami Pascal, Phil Lord, Christopher Miller, and Christina Steinberg (Columbia)

A Star Is Born, Bill Gerber, Jon Peters, Bradley Cooper, Todd Phillips, and Lynette Howell Taylor (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/Warner Bros.)

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?, Morgan Neville, Caryn Capotosto, and Nicholas Ma (Focus)

Wholesale changes in this category compared to real life. The best three films of 2018, to me, were Burning, Roma, and Shoplifters -- none of these were in the English language. Films I tossed for Best Picture were Black Panther, Bohemian Rhapsody, Green Book, and Vice. I don’t think any of those four films have any business being in this category. In their place are the likes of Eighth Grade, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Won’t You Be My Neighbor?, and one of the most technically marvelous action films in decades in Mission: Impossible -- Fallout. Yes, an M:I film (superb editing, setpieces, and audacious style that finally wakes the franchise up).

But I’m going for an unexciting pick according to some with Roma. To use an oxymoron, it is an intimate epic -- one crafted beautifully, daring to comment on relations between ethnicities and the sexes at a certain time in Mexico. 

Best Director

Lee Chang-dong, Burning

Alfonso Cuarón, Roma

Hirokazu Koreeda, Shoplifters

Christopher McQuarrie, Mission: Impossible – Fallout

Paul Schrader, First Reformed

If you’re scratching your head, yes... Paul Schrader was nominated for Director in my ceremony, but First Reformed is nowhere to be found in Picture. I tend to do this for one Best Director nominee every year.

Best Actor

Christian Bale, Vice

Ryan Gosling, First Man

Ethan Hawke, First Reformed

Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody

Yoo Ah-in, Burning

The real-life Best Actor category this year is the most dire slate in a while. So here is your palate cleanser. 

Best Actress

Yalitza Aparicio, Roma

Glenn Close, The Wife

Olivia Colman, The Favourite

Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade

Lady Gaga, A Star Is Born

It is not so much acting, as inhabiting. And, as a non-professional actress, Yalitza Aparicio has it. And I believe that, in my alternate Oscar universe (yes, I’ve drawn up and thought about it for many ceremonies past... I’ll reveal those some day), Aparicio would be the first indigenous woman to be awarded an acting Oscar.

Best Supporting Actor

Mahershala Ali, Green Book

Richard E. Grant, Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Josh Hamilton, Eighth Grade

Tim Blake Nelson, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

Steven Yeun, Burning

Ali is good, don’t get me wrong. But, compared to the movie Moonlight and his performance in it, it looks like he is about to get a second Oscar for a far worse movie and a lesser role. Ali is fourth or fifth in this lineup for me. Grant is fantastic in Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Best Supporting Actress

Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk

Emma Stone, The Favourite

Marina de Tavira, Roma

Rachel Weisz, The Favourite

Michelle Yeoh, Crazy Rich Asians

This comes down to the fact I couldn’t separate Stone and Weisz’s performances in their saucy movie. Nor could I find the argument to give de Tavira or Yeoh the Oscar. This is a bit of a default choice, I hate to say.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott, and Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman

Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty, Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Barry Jenkins, If Beale Street Could Talk

Debra Granik and Anne Rosellini, Leave No Trace

Spike Lee would have at least one or two Oscars in my alternative universe by this point! The difference between the screenplays for BlacKkKlansman and Can You Ever Forgive Me? is far slighter than you think.

Best Original Screenplay

Bo Burnham, Eighth Grade

Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara, The Favourite

Paul Schrader, First Reformed

Alfonso Cuarón, Roma

Hirokazu Koreeda, Shoplifters

Not even a contest if you asked me. This category is something else if I consider The Favourite and Roma bringing up the rear. But Koreeda’s drama about a found family that does what they can to survive is the culmination of what he has done in his career thus far. This is his Oscar.

Best Animated Feature

Incredibles 2 (Pixar/Walt Disney)

Night is Short, Walk On Girl, Japan (GKIDS/Toho Company)

Ruben Brandt, Collector, Hungary (Mozinet/Sony Pictures Classics)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (Columbia)

Tito and the Birds, Brazil (Bits Produções/Shout! Factory)

Longtime followers know that I have unorthodox opinions about animated features. The only Animated Feature Oscar I’ve handed to Pixar/Walt Disney Animation Studios since beginning this tradition in 2013 was for Inside Out. I thought Ralph Breaks the Internet was a painful addition to the Disney animated canon, so it is not here. Nor is Wes Anderson’s culturally insensitive Isle of Dogs or Mamoru Hosoda’s sloppy Mirai. At the end of the day? No boat-rocking this time, except in some of the other nominees.

Best Documentary Feature

Free Solo (National Geographic)

Hale County This Morning, This Evening (The Cinema Guild)

Minding the Gap (ITVS/Kartemquin Films/Hulu/Magnolia Pictures)

Three Identical Strangers (CNN/Channel 4/Neon)

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (Focus)

Shoulda been nominated! Shoulda won! But in the spirit of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, these are all great documentaries. Minding the Gap is a close #2.

Best Foreign Language Film

Burning, South Korea

Capernaum, Lebanon

Cold War, Poland

Roma, Mexico

Shoplifters, Japan

Best Cinematography

Alfonso Cuarón, Roma

Caleb Deschanel, Never Look Away (GER)

Rob Hardy, Mission: Impossible – Fallout

Matthew Libatique, A Star Is Born

Łukasz Żal, Cold War

Best Film Editing

Barry Alexander Brown, BlacKkKlansman

Jay Cassidy, A Star Is Born

Tom Cross, First Man

Eddie Hamilton, Mission: Impossible – Fallout

Yorgos Mavropsaridis, The Favourite

Best Original Musical*

Julia Michels, A Star Is Born

Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman, Mary Poppins Returns

Sia, Greg Kurstin, Scott Walker, and Margaret Yen, Vox Lux

*Best Original Musical – known previously as several other names – exists in the Academy’s rulebooks, but requires activation from the Academy’s music branch. To qualify, a film must have no fewer than five original songs. This category was last activated when Prince won for Purple Rain (1984).

Best Original Score

Michael Giacchino, Incredibles 2

Justin Hurwitz, First Man

John Powell, Solo

Alan Silvestri, Ready Player One

Brian Tyler, Crazy Rich Asians

The Star Wars universe is in good musical hands when John Williams leaves after Episode IX!

Best Original Song

“All the Stars”, music by Kendrick Lamar, Sounwave, and Anthony Tiffith, lyrics by Lamar, SZA, and Tiffith, Black Panther

“Nowhere to Go but Up”, music by Marc Shaiman, lyrics by Shaiman and Scott Wittman, Mary Poppins Returns

“The Place Where Lost Things Go”, music by Marc Shaiman, lyrics by Shaiman and Scott Wittman, Mary Poppins Returns

“Shallow”, music and lyrics by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando, and Andrew Wyatt, A Star Is Born

“When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings”, music and lyrics by David Rawlings and Gillian Welch, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

Best Costume Design

Alexander Byrne, Mary Queen of Scots

Ruth E. Carter, Black Panther

Sandy Powell, The Favourite

Sandy Powell, Mary Poppins Returns

Mary E. Vogt, Crazy Rich Asians

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Cindy Harlow and Camille Friend, Black Panther

Göran Lundström and Pamela Goldammer, Border (SWE)

Jenny Shircore, Marc Pilcher, and Jessica Brooks, Mary Queen of Scots

Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin, Solo

Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe, and Patricia Dehaney, Vice

Best Production Design

Hannah Beachler, Black Panther

Nelson Coates, Crazy Rich Asians

Fiona Crombie, The Favourite

Nathan Crowley, First Man

John Myhre, Mary Poppins Returns

Best Sound Editing

Benjamin A. Burt and Steve Boeddeker, Black Panther

Ai-Ling Lee and Mildred Iatrou Morgan, First Man

James Mather, Victoria Freund, and Nina Norek, Mission: Impossible – Fallout

Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl, A Quiet Place

Richard Hymns, Gary Rydstrom, Cameron Barker, and Doug Winningham, Ready Player One

Best Sound Mixing

John Casali, Paul Massey, Tim Cavagin, and Niv Adiri, Bohemian Rhapsody

Jon Taylor, Frank A. Montaño, Ai-Ling Lee and Mary H. Ellis, First Man

Chris Munro, Paul Munro, Lloyd Dudley, and Mark Timms, Mission: Impossible – Fallout

Michael Barosky, Brandon Proctor, and Michael Barry, A Quiet Place

Tom Ozanich, Dean Zupancic, Jason Ruder and Steve Morrow, A Star Is Born

Best Visual Effects

Daniel DeLeeuw, Jen Underdahl, Kelly Port, Matt Aitken, Dan Sudick, Avengers: Infinity War

Christopher Lawrence, Michael Eames, Theo Jones, and Chris Corbould, Christopher Robin

Paul Lambert, Ian Hunter, Tristan Myles, and J. D. Schwalm, First Man

Roger Guyett, Grady Cofer, Matthew E. Butler, and David Shirk, Ready Player One

Rob Bredow, Patrick Tubach, Neal Scanlan, and Dominic Tuohy, Solo

Best Documentary Short

Black Sheep (Lightbox Entertainment/The Guardian)

End Game (Netflix)

Lifeboat (Spin Film/RYOT Films)

A Night at the Garden (Field of Vision)

Period. End of Sentence. (Guneet Monga)

My omnibus review of this year’s nominees is coming soon (check this space later).

Best Live Action Short

Detainment (Twelve Media)

Fauve, Canada (H264 Distribution)

Marguerite, Canada (H264 Distribution)

Mother, Spain (Apache Films/Caballo Films/Malvalanda)

Skin (New Native Pictures/Salaud Morisset)

My omnibus review of this year’s nominees is coming soon (check this space later).

Best Animated Short

Animal Behaviour (National Film Board of Canada)

Bao (Pixar/Walt Disney)

Late Afternoon (Cartoon Saloon)

One Small Step (Taiko Studios)

Weekends (Past Lives Productions)

My omnibus review of this year’s nominees can be read here.

Academy Honorary Awards: Cicely Tyson, Lalo Schifrin, and Marvin Levy

Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award: Kathleen Kennedy and Frank Marshall

MULTIPLE NOMINEES (24) Eight: The Favourite; Roma Seven: First Man; A Star Is Born Six: Mission: Impossible – Fallout Five: Black Panther; Burning; Mary Poppins Returns Four: Crazy Rich Asians; Eighth Grade; Shoplifters Three: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; BlacKkKlansman; First Reformed; Ready Player One, Solo Two: Bohemian Rhapsody; If Beale Street Could Talk; Incredibles 2; Mary Queen of Scots; A Quiet Place; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; Vice; Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

WINNERS 4 wins: Roma 2 wins: First Man; Mary Poppins Returns 1 win: BlacKkKlansman; Black Panther; Border; Can You Ever Forgive Me?; Cold War; Crazy Rich Asians; First Reformed; If Beale Street Could Talk; Marguerite; Mission: Impossible – Fallout; Shoplifters; Solo; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; A Star Is Born; Weekends; Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

19 winners from 25 categories. 39 feature-length films and 15 short films were represented.

[dustedmagazine]

Ty Segall & Freedom Band — Deforming Lobes (Drag City)

Deforming Lobes by Ty Segall

Even Ty Segall’s studio albums sound live. Never a big fan of studio fuckery, found sounds, overdubs or string arrangements, his last several albums featuring the Freedom Band—that’s him, Mikal Cronin, Charlie Moothart, Ben Boyes and Emmett Kelly—have been molten slabs of feedback and guitar noise. Yet this one, the first all-Segall live recording (he split a 2015 Live at Pickathon with King Tuff), manages to increase the intensity. It documents a monster tight, no-frills session from 2018 in obliterating, over-the-top style.

These eight tracks come from a hometown show at the Teregram Ballroom in Los Angeles, recorded live to two-inch analog tape. Where often live albums tend to run long, Deforming Lobes is a concise 36 minutes. Where others go out of their way to capture crowd noise, banter and atmosphere, this one sticks stubbornly to the music. Even the introduction in “Warm Hands,” cuts off after “Ladies and gentlemen, the…” a monster power chord erasing the name of the band and whatever else the MC had to say.

Album tracks layer thick oozy layers of guitar fuzz over hard-knock, block simple drums. The smoke clears periodically to let Segall’s voice through, but you never get the sense that the singing is the main thing. No, it’s the chords, the clangor, the rattle, the hum that dominate. A shouted unison chorus breaks in “Warm Hands” gives away to rupturing heavy artillery riffage. It’s not the payoff. It’s the main event.

Likewise, super-heavy “The Crawler” from 2014’s Manipulator runs even faster and hotter than on the record. (This is one of the few places where you can hear Segall talking to his band; after a false start, he scats a drum roll to show Moothart how it goes.) The song grinds and groans and rattles, but also opens into transcendent psychedelia. Segall’s band bends the noise into rainbows. “Squealer” vamps and rears like an unruly beast; Segall and his band trade calls and deadpan responses over a roar and well, yes, squeal of guitar shredding.

No one could accuse the Freedom Band of dragging the songs out, but the live setting does give them a chance to explore unvisited corners of some of the songs – like “Love Fuzz,” here at over seven minutes nearly twice the length of its original version (on Twins from 2012). The tune expands to admit fiery intervals of feverish guitar freak-out, locomotive drum motion and eerie robotic keyboard sounds. You don’t have to have this record — or even see Segall live — to have a pretty good idea of what he sounds like in performance. But why would you pass up the chance when you get it?

Jennifer Kelly

[orbemnews]

Transformed by Covid and Industry Shifts, the 2021 Academy Awards Sets Off LOS ANGELES — A surreal 93rd Academy Awards, a stage show broadcast on television about films mostly distributed on the internet, got underway on Sunday with Regina King, a former Oscar winner and the director of “One Night in Miami,” strutting into a supper-club set. “It has been quite a year, and we are still smack dab in the middle of it,” she said, referencing the pandemic and the guilty verdict in the George Floyd murder trial. “Our love of movies helped to get us through.” With little more preamble, Oscar statuettes were handed out, with Emerald Fennell, a first-time nominee, winning best original screenplay for “Promising Young Woman,” a startling revenge drama. The last woman to win solo in the category had been Diablo Cody (“Juno”) in 2007. “He’s so heavy and so cold,” Fennell said about the gold-plated Oscar statuette in an impromptu speech that revisited one she wrote when she was 10 and loved Zack Morris in the television series “Saved By the Bell.” “They said write a speech. I’m going to be in trouble with Steven Soderbergh,” she said. Christopher Hampton and Florian Zeller won the adapted screenplay prize for “The Father,” about the ravages of dementia. “Another Round,” about middle-age men who decide to get drunk daily, won the Academy Award for international feature film (previously referred to as foreign-language film). The Danish filmmaker Thomas Vinterberg dedicated “Another Round” to his daughter, Ida, who was killed in a car crash in 2019. “Maybe you’ve been pulling some strings somewhere,” Vinterberg said, fighting back tears. Going into the ceremony, there was a chance that the night could go down in Hollywood history. People of color were nominated for all four acting awards — an indication that the film industry has implemented meaningful reforms. The academy, which has roughly 10,000 members, remains overwhelmingly white and male, but the organization has invited more women and people of color into its ranks following the intense #OscarsSoWhite outcries in 2015 and 2016, when the acting nominees were all white. This year, nine of the 20 acting nominations went to people of color. As expected, Daniel Kaluuya was named supporting actor for playing the Black Panther leader Fred Hampton in “Judas and the Black Messiah.” “Bro, we out here!” Kaluuya shouted in celebration before growing serious and crediting Hampton (“what a man, what a man”) and ending with the cri de coeur, “When they played divide and conquer, we say unite and ascend.” Hollywood wanted the producers of the telecast to pull off an almost-impossible hat trick. First and foremost, they were asked to design a show that prevented the TV ratings from plunging to an alarming low — while celebrating movies that, for the most part, have not connected widely with audiences. The producing team, which included the Oscar-winning filmmaker Steven Soderbergh (“Traffic”), also hope to use the telecast to jump-start theatergoing, no small task when most of the world has been out of the box office habit for more than a year. Lastly, the producers needed to integrate live camera feeds from more than 20 locations to comply with coronavirus safety restrictions. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences had delayed the event, which typically takes place in February, in hopes of outrunning the pandemic. Still, the red carpet had to be radically downsized and the extravagant parties canceled. Updated  April 25, 2021, 9:03 p.m. ET For the first time, the academy nominated two women for best director, recognizing Chloé Zhao for “Nomadland,” a bittersweet meditation on grief and the American dream, and Fennell for “Promising Young Woman,” about the aftermath of a sexual assault. The other nominated directors were David Fincher for “Mank,” a black-and-white love letter to Old Hollywood; Lee Isaac Chung for “Minari,” a semi-autobiographical tale about a Korean-American family; and, in a surprise, Vinterberg for “Another Round.” Zhao had already been feted for her “Nomadland” direction by nearly 60 other organizations, including the Directors Guild of America and the British Academy of Film and Television Arts. In 93 years of the Academy Awards, only one woman, Kathryn Bigelow, has ever won. (Bigelow was celebrated in 2010 for directing “The Hurt Locker.”) The directing category has also been dominated over the decades by white men, giving the nomination of Zhao, who is Chinese, even greater meaning. Netflix was back in the best picture race. Netflix received its first Oscar nomination in 2014 for “The Square,” a feature documentary about the Egyptian revolution. Since then — in large part because of copious amounts of money spent on awards campaigns — the streaming giant has come to dominate the nominations. It amassed 36 this year, more than any other company, with “Mank” receiving 10, more than any other film. But Netflix and its sharp-elbowed awards campaigners keep whiffing in the end. Last year, the company’s best-picture hopes rested on “The Irishman.” It failed to convert even one of its 10 nominations into a win. In 2019, Netflix pushed “Roma.” It won three Oscars, including one for Alfonso Cuarón’s direction, but lost the big prize. On Sunday, Netflix had two nominees, “Mank” and “The Trial of the Chicago 7.” Those films were competing against Zhao’s “Nomadland,” an entry from Searchlight, a division of the Walt Disney Company. The other nominees for best picture were “Sound of Metal,” “Minari,” “Promising Young Woman,” “Judas and the Black Messiah” and “The Father.” There was nothing usual about the broadcast. Soderbergh was not your usual Oscar producer, which is why he may have been the perfect choice for this very unusual year. He and his producing partners for the event, Stacey Sher and Jesse Collins, eschewed Zoom and implemented enough protocols to enable a mask-free environment for the nominees. In the lead-up to Sunday, Soderbergh kept referring to the show as a three-act film. The telecast’s writing staff included the “Surviving R. Kelly” filmmaker Dream Hampton and the veteran writer-director Richard LaGravenese (“The Fisher King”). Presenters were referred to as “cast members.” They included Zendaya, Brad Pitt and Bong Joon Ho, last year’s winner for best director. The ceremony has typically included performances of the five tunes nominated for best song. Not this year. Those were moved off the main stage and onto a preshow, which allowed them to be performed in their entirety. This year, however, the academy decided to hand out two honorary Oscars during the primary show. (Since 2009, honorary statuettes have been awarded during a nontelevised banquet in the fall.) The nonprofit Motion Picture & Television Fund, which underwrites a nursing home and retirement village for aging and ailing “industry” people (actors, executives, choreographers, lighting technicians, camera operators), received one. The organization, founded in 1921 by stars like Mary Pickford and Charlie Chaplin, also provides a wide range of other services to Hollywood seniors. The second went to Tyler Perry, who the academy cited as a “cultural influence extending far beyond his work as a filmmaker.” Perry, of course, started his entertainment career as a playwright. Since ending his popular, nine-film “Madea” series in 2019, Perry has focused on making television shows like “Bruh,” “Sistahs” and “The Oval” for BET. He owns a studio in Atlanta. The Dolby Theater, which holds more than 3,000 people and has been the home of the Academy Awards since 2001, was not the epicenter of the telecast. This year, with just the nominees and their guests in attendance, an Art Deco, Mission Revival train station in downtown Los Angeles served as the main venue. Source link Orbem News #Academy #Awards #Covid #Industry #sets #Shifts #transformed

[wellimhavinga3outof10day]

Destiel mpreg prompt 1/3: Castiel is the father of Jack, works in a supermarket and is dating a man but doesn't love him. Dean is a mechanic, single and has a huge crush on Castiel. His brother Sam is Jack's football coach. Jack admires Dean and sometimes he copies him (like he did in the show 13x02). Castiel goes with some colleagues to a club, drinks too much and ends up to have a wild night with Dean.

Hey, nonnie!! Thank you SO MUCH for this prompt. I had a lot of fun writing this one and I’m really proud of the result and I never would have written it without this prompt. So thank you and I hope you like this! I even think I managed all of your requests?? Wow. This may be the most on-prompt thing I’ve ever written… Fair warning: This gets heavy and also I know nothing about football. And it’s like novel length  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Read on AO3

Cas shivered as he walked up to the football field. He had a hundred things going through his mind – like the fight with Parker and the bills that were overdue and the seventeen product-destroying disasters that had happened at the supermarket that morning – but he had promised Jack he’d show up for football practice. He had promised Jack seven times because, as Jack liked to point out, that was how many times Cas had broken promises to him in the last year. Sometimes Cas regretted keeping Jack – not because he didn’t love him, not because Kelly wouldn’t have wanted him to, but because he couldn’t give him everything he deserved.

           Cas tried to catch sight of Jack on the field from afar but with all the boys in helmets and pads it was impossible to tell which one was his son. Wrapping his arms tight around him in an effort to stay warm, Cas shuffled forward.

           Sam’s words floated back to him. “…can’t commit, then don’t.”

    ��      There was a deep sigh. “It’s not about commitment.” Dean. Cas looked over at the sound of his voice and felt the familiar tug on his heartstrings, that little voice in his ear begging him to make it work. He tried to shut it down as Dean went on, “It’s about her. She’s cool, yeah. Definitely hot. But I’m not gonna move in with her.”

           Sam hummed noncommittally, giving away that he wasn’t listening. Then he stepped forward and yelled, “Larson! Show us some hustle!”

           Dean rolled his eyes and his gaze landed on Cas. He smiled. Cas tried to stop himself from smiling back but it was a little hard. Dean hadn’t shaved that morning and still looked rough and tired, like he’d only rolled out of bed a few hours ago. But he was wearing his coveralls, grease-splattered and too thin for the bitter September air. And his hair was standing straight up like it did when it got static-y and dry from being in the garage too long.

           “Hey, angel,” Dean said. “You come to see your boy play?”

           Cas rolled his eyes. The nickname had gotten old about two seconds after Dean had given it to him – back in fifth grade when Dean found out he was still an altar boy, despite being just a little too old for it. Cas stepped forward, keeping Sam in between them, and said, “Which one’s Jack?”

           Sam gestured vaguely down the field and then moved in the other direction, shouting, “That is NOT a proper tackle! Do you want to get injured?”

           Dean jerked his chin in the same direction Sam had waved. “Number 12,” he said. “Scrawny kid pushing back the tackle board like it weighs nothing.”

           Cas squinted to read the numbers but found Jack easily when he took a run at one of the heavily weighted dummies and pushed it 20 feet without struggling. He stepped back and raised his arms in the air, bringing in the applause and hollers of his teammates before he took a deep bow. Cas scoffed. “Moron.”.

           “Kid’s really gonna make the other team think twice when he hits them with all that.” Dean tilted his head back and guzzled down Coke from a can.

           Cas glanced his way. “Why the sobriety?”

           Dean flipped him off and then crushed the can against his thigh. “I’m going out tonight.”

           “With who?”

           Both men looked over, surprised, when Jack approached. He wiped the sweat off his face with a towel, a big smile on his face.

           Dean smiled back. “None of your business, twerp.”

           Jack frowned for a second and Cas almost reprimanded Dean for being mean to him – no matter what it looked like, Jack was still a kid. He could hold his own on the football field but he didn’t need Dean, his idol, insulting him openly. But then Jack bounced back – so fast Cas thought he might have imagined the hurt in his face – and said, “Come on. I’m just curious. Let me live vicariously.”

           “Don’t let him live vicariously,” Cas warned.

           Dean shot him a half smile and Cas’ heart skipped an involuntary beat. He tried to shut it down. Even standing this close to Dean was distracting – he was warm and smelled like sweat – but he’d spent too long waiting for Dean to settle down. He’d spent too long being the ignored best friend to give in to the subtle flirting now. Just because Parker was being a dick didn’t mean that Dean finally had come to his senses and realized what a catch Cas was. He hadn’t realized it in high school, or college, or when Cas was dating Kelly, or when Cas married Kelly, or after Kelly’s death, or in the sixteen years since. Cas was done with him, even if he did smell like he’d just had sex in a garage.

           “I’m grabbing drinks with an old friend,” Dean said. “Nothing scandalous.” He put his hands in his pockets and Jack tried to mimic the motion – even though his football pants had no pockets.

           “If it’s an old friend, you should invite my dad. He probably knows them.”

           Cas shot his son a look. He’d been through this before – he’d been through this too many times to count – and every time it came up, it filled him with annoyance and regret. Annoyance that Jack was still on this. Regret that he’d let Dean hang around so much, help out so much, that Jack thought of him as a de-facto dad and wouldn’t give up on him. Even though Cas had given up on Dean before Jack was born.

           Dean laughed. “Oh, no. Your dad and Charlie were only friends out of obligation.”

           “Charlie’s in town?” Cas said.

           Dean shot him a sideways look, his eyes sparkling. “What? Still bitter she tried to steal your wife?”

           “What?” Jack said at the same time Cas said, “At the wedding!”

           Dean laughed.

           Jack smiled nervously, like he wasn’t sure if laughing along would get him in trouble or not.

           “Have fun with Charlie,” Cas said, hoping he sounded like he meant it even if he didn’t. “I can’t come anyways. I have a work thing.”

           “A work thing,” Dean said, mockingly.

           “Yeah, a work thing,” Jack repeated, rolling his eyes.

           Cas shot his son a look. “Shouldn’t you be practicing?”

           Jack shrugged and took a swig from his water bottle. He didn’t make any move to leave until Sam started heading their way again, shouting, “Kline! Get your ass back on the field! What are you doing?” And then Jack was off, sprinting across the field before Sam could reach them. Sam shook his head. “What was that about?”

           “Just the usual.” Dean shrugged. “Kid’s trying to set us up again.”

           Cas felt his whole face go red and he coughed into the sleeve of his coat. He could feel Dean watching him, his eyes on him, and he wanted to die. He felt like a teenager whose crush just called them a brother. He mumbled something into his sleeve – he was pretty sure it was incoherent – and then walked off to watch Jack play some more.

           Behind him, he heard Sam say, “So you’re really gonna dump a girl over that?”

           “She wants matching keys, Sam. His and hers keys.”

Cas stood in front of the mirror tying and then retying his tie. He hadn’t even switched ties since he had first picked out the blue one but it seemed wrong somehow. Every knot was wrong, even the feel of the silk was wrong.

           “Why are you wearing a tie to this thing?” Parker asked as he walked into the bedroom. He was looking at his feet as he undid his cufflinks and then kicked off his shoes. He glanced over his shoulder at Cas. “Why are you even going to this thing?”

           “It’s a team-building exercise,” Cas said. “And I was the one who suggested it.” He pulled off the tie with a huff, feeling the fabric wring around his neck and slap against his wrist. He looked down at it as he twisted it between his fingers.

           “A tie doesn’t really scream ‘team-building,’ does it?”

           Cas sighed. “I’m the boss. I still have to look like the boss.”

           Parker came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his hips. He pulled him back into him and kissed the side of his neck. When he was like this, when he was happy, Cas almost forgot that he hadn’t had this much time with him in a month. He reached up and carded his fingers through Parker’s hair, pulling him closer, keeping him latched onto his neck.

           “I’m gonna leave a mark,” Parker whispered.

           “Don’t worry about it.” Cas closed his eyes.

           Parker pursed his lips and then pressed his face against Cas’ shoulder. “Do you want me to come?”

           “Do I want you to come to a shitty bar with fifty of my closest coworkers so I can out myself to all of them in one fell swoop?” Cas said, deadpan. “Pass.”

           Parker chuckled. “I don’t get why you don’t just tell them.”

           “I tell them. I tell people.” Cas looked into the mirror, squinting. He tried to figure out what it was his outfit needed. There wasn’t a tie that didn’t work with the classic white button down and black slacks. “I tell them when it comes up. When it seems appropriate. I don’t invite my boyfriend to work-only gatherings and then kiss him when I get too drunk.”

           “Who will you kiss then?” Parker mumbled.

           Cas laughed and turned his head to peck Parker on the cheek. “You, if you’re home when I get back.”

           Parker sighed and stepped away, his fingers slipping from Cas’ hips. Cas immediately felt colder, more alone, even though his boyfriend was still there. “I can’t promise anything,” Parker said. “You know, with these big accounts and all the deadlines coming up.”

           “Yeah. I know.” Cas slipped the tie around his neck again and started to do the knot.

           “Stop.” Parker grabbed onto the fabric and pulled Cas closer. He kissed him on the lips and he tasted like lip gloss and a little bit of wine. Cas frowned. Parker took the tie. “Put on some jeans. I’ll get you another tie. Try not to look like you haven’t been in a bar since college.”

           Cas smirked as him but started to dutifully take off his pants.

The bar was loud and dirty – the exact opposite of what Dean had wanted when he’d picked it out. There seemed to be some sort of party going on, what with all the people around who seemed to know each other and think it was appropriate to touch each other and play awful music on the jukebox.

           Charlie didn’t seem to mind though. When her beer came to her with a ring of dust around the rim of the glass, she’d simply brushed it off and said, “It’ll boost my immune system, right?”

           Dean wasn’t sure on the logic of that but he wasn’t going to question it. He’d learned not to question Charlie after she’d moved to Germany to “make it big” and it had worked, somehow. In Germany, she was famous. In Germany, she could barely walk down the street without someone asking for her autograph. He had gone their once to visit her – she’d sent him a ticket – and the whole thing had been like a weird dream or a bad trip.

           Right now, she was in the middle of a story about the TV show she was working on. Something about monkeys or astronauts or monkey astronauts. But Dean was too focused on trying to use all his mental energy to get the stupid party people to shut the fuck up. Was it really that hard not to play Britney Spears on repeat? To keep their voices down? God, Dean felt like such an old man wanting to ruin their fun. But really. Their fun was Britney Spears.

           Charlie snapped her fingers in his face. “Hey, dipshit. I did not fly ten hours for you to ignore me, you know.”

           Dean took a sip of his beer. “You flew ten hours to do a hokey comic-con on foreign fandoms. What the fuck do you care if I ignore you?”

           Charlie smiled. “I like to be the centre of attention.”

           Dean almost choked on his beer when he laughed.

           “What’s so interesting over there anyways?” She glanced over her shoulder, scanning the partiers, as if she thought the reason for Dean’s distraction was just going to appear out of thin air. She had a hard time understanding that Dean was always distracted, that he always had a headache, and that he’d seen every episode of the monkey-astronaut show five times by now. Then, “Aah,” she said, “that’s what this is about?”

           Dean gave her a confused look. “That’s what what’s about?”

           Charlie tilted her head to the side. “You’re honestly going to sit there and pretend you having been staring at Cas’ ass for the last twenty minutes?”

           Dean blinked. He looked back at the crowd, scanning the people and their faces and their asses, until he saw what Charlie had determined in seconds. Cas was standing at the bar, mostly turned away from them, nursing a beer like it was Jack at three months old. He had a strained smile on his face like maybe it was fake, maybe he was struggling.

           “I wasn’t,” Dean said, honestly. Then he wondered if he’d been unconsciously ogling Cas’ ass. Like he always saw Cas’ ass, so it was always there, so he didn’t even notice he was staring at it.

           Charlie sighed. “Go. Say hi.”

           Dean wrinkled his brow. “No. I’m here with you. I saw him a few hours ago.”

           “And yet you’re still more interested in him.”

           Dean smirked. “I thought you didn’t want me to crush on lesbians.”

           Charlie flipped him off and then downed the rest of her beer. “Come on. We’re going over.” She started to slide towards the end of the booth.

           Dean reached out a hand to stop her. He touched the crook of her elbow. “Wait. Stop. This is ridiculous.” He gestured vaguely to the party. “He’s obviously busy. And he’s still mad at you for what you did at his wedding.”

           She rolled her eyes. “You make one joke about hooking up with the bride and suddenly you’re the bad guy. Plus, I did that for you. I get the bride, you get the groom. Win-win.”

           “Not this again.”

           “You’ve been in love with him probably since you’ve had eyes. I have eyes, so I’m a little in love with him. But the difference is, I fucked it up on purpose. You fucked it up because you’re a commitment-phobe who didn’t want to ruin a friendship.”

           Dean shook his head. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

           Charlie shrugged. “Maybe it’s not. Maybe you did the right thing letting him go, not fucking him for sport, staying his friend, picking up the pieces of his broken life. But you never got the fuck over him. So while he might not be getting hurt anymore, you still are. Every single damn time you look at him.”

           Dean swallowed hard. His eyes flicked towards Cas. “He has a boyfriend.”

           Charlie shrugged. “Commitments are made to be broken.” She slid out of the booth before Dean could stop her. Before he was on his feet, she had Cas’ attention. And by the time he reached the two of them, she had him in a big bear hug.

Dean looked good cleaned up. Not that he was cleaned up. He still hadn’t shaved and the soap smell wasn’t completely covering the sweat smell or the grease. But the army green button down he had on made his eyes pop and Cas found himself getting lost in them, or tracing the curve of Dean’s lips as he talked, or watching his Adam’s apple bob when he swallowed. Cas was perhaps a lot drunker than he’d originally thought.

           Charlie took over the conversation, rambling as usual, and Cas kept looking at Dean. Part of his brain was aware he should stop. Stop looking at Dean, stop drinking, just stop altogether maybe. Press pause on the world turning and revaluate his life choices. But it was hard when Dean had a scar down the middle of his bottom lip, like he’d bitten it right open, and Cas kept wondering if he could bite it open himself.

           When Charlie excused herself to the bathroom, Dean sidled up closer to him and laid a hand on his arm. He said, “What are you drinking?”

           “Beer,” Cas said, looking down at his mostly empty glass. He should stop. This was his second and he was supposed to drive home.

           Dean traced his finger down the inside of Cas’ arm, sending shivers all through his body. “What kind of beer?”

           “You know,” Cas said.

           “Oh, that honey shit you like.”

           Cas tried to smile when Dean laughed but he could have sworn someone put something in his drink. Did Dean always look like this? Was he always so beautiful? Cas felt himself sway forward and was suddenly aware that Dean had sat down on a barstool. When had he done that? Now that Cas was closer, he towered over him, and Dean had to look up to meet his eyes. That little smirk on his lips lit up his whole face.

           Dean reached out and pressed a palm against Cas’ stomach. Maybe to keep him steady, maybe for another reason. “Maybe you shouldn’t have another,” Dean said.

           “Maybe I should,” Cas replied. Was he imagining it or was Dean’s thumb rubbing against the buttons of his shirt?

           Dean sighed and the smile dropped right off his face. He took his hand back and rubbed it down his face, suddenly looking anywhere but Cas. “This is all Charlie’s fault,” he muttered as he flung a few bills onto the bar. He got to his feet. “You have a good night, Cas.”

           Cas reached out and grabbed his arm. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking. Maybe he was thinking that Dean didn’t walk away often, that Dean had never walked away from him. He pulled him back and said, “Stay.” Then, because that seemed a little scary and personal, he added, “I’m the boss. These people don’t want to be out with me. If you leave, I’ll be bored out of my mind.”

           “You could leave,” Dean said.

           Cas stared at him.

           “I can’t do this with you, Cas.” Dean turned back to him, stumbling a little on his feet. One of his hands reached up and cupped Cas’ cheek. “I’ve been really fucking good about not doing this with you.” When his head tilted forward, Cas could smell the alcohol on his breath, hear the tremble in his words.

           “Doing what?” Cas asked.

           Dean smiled. “What do you think?”

           He made to step back but Cas grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him forward. He crushed their lips together, getting more teeth than lips, but he didn’t let it deter him. He just pulled on Dean more, stumbling back a few steps, and kissed him like his life depended on it. Kissed him like he’d never kiss him again.

           He hit the bar and Dean’s hands came down around him, his hips pushing forward. He kissed back like Cas always thought he would – wild, reckless, dangerous – and pushed a hand up under Cas’ shirt. His fingers were warm, sweaty. Cas turned his head and buried it into the crook of Dean’s neck, inhaling his scent, forcing himself to breathe as Dean rutted against his hip and sucked on his neck.

           Cas spared a thought – one thought – to where they were. “This might be a little public,” he whispered.

           Dean sighed. The breath tickled Cas’ skin and he wanted nothing more than to take his words back. Dean could fuck him against the bar if he wanted to, all his coworkers be damned.

           Then Dean pulled off, his eyes glassy and his lips bitten-red. He flicked his gaze over Cas’ body and Cas stood still, wondering, waiting. He half expected Dean to determine he wasn’t good enough for a one-night-stand, wasn’t the material Dean needed for future wanking sessions. But then he tucked his fingers through Cas’ belt loops and tugged him forward. “C’mon,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”

Dean hadn’t taken the subway home from a bar since he was in college. He either went to the bars close to his house or didn’t drink enough to have to worry about not being able to drive. He wasn’t sure he was too drunk to drive now. But driving meant keeping his hands off Cas, meant keeping his eyes on the road, meant he had to stay focused on something other than the beautiful man in front of him.

           Okay, so making out on the subway wasn’t Dean’s best idea. People kept telling them to get a room, there was more than one disgusted sound of disapproval, and everything about it was uncomfortable. Dean didn’t really care. He just kept pressing Cas back against the wall, trying to tuck himself completely into his embrace as he kissed his lips, his cheeks, his neck. He kept one hand on his hip, pinning him down, because he was a little afraid Cas wanted to get away.

           “Dean,” Cas mumbled after what felt like forever, what felt like ten seconds.

           “Yeah, baby?” Dean whispered, biting his earlobe.

           Cas groaned against him and then whined, his hips pushing upwards. Dean could feel the start of his erection and he wanted to touch it, to taste it, to have it in him. He wondered how many times Cas could get it up in a night. If Cas would stay over the weekend and do nothing but fuck him senseless.

           “We missed the stop.”

           Dean looked up. Doing it felt a little like stopping himself from breathing. And sure enough, they were racing away from the stop closest to his house and onto the next one. “Damn it,” Dean whispered.

           Cas latched onto his neck, laying bruising kisses along his jaw line. “We’ll just get off at the next one,” he mumbled. “Walk back.”

           “And how will we do this while walking?”

           “We’ll think of something.” Cas coaxed their lips back together and pulled Dean in by the back of his neck.

           They missed the next two stops and barely managed to stumble out already-closing doors at the third. Dean swore and looked up at the train schedule. The next one going the other way wasn’t coming for a good eight minutes and he had half a hard-on and a raging need to get it over with. If he fucked Cas now, he could go through with it. If he waited eight minutes? The twenty minute ride home? The five minute walk to his apartment? That was thirty-three minutes to rethink this terrible decision. To think that Cas had a boyfriend. To sober up. To remember he didn’t do this to Cas, he wasn’t this person to Cas, he didn’t deserve Cas.

           “Hey,” Cas whispered. He hooked his fingers into the back pocket of Dean’s jeans and pulled him back a few steps. “What’s wrong?”

           Dean turned his head to look at Cas. Maybe he didn’t want to do this as badly as he thought he did. Maybe there was a reason it had taken them thirty years of friendship to get to this point.

           Cas laid a hand against his cheek and then pressed their foreheads together. “Are you alright? Is this… alright?”

           Dean wanted to laugh. Cas was so drunk he could barely stand upright without some sort of support – hence his lips being two inches away all the time – and he was asking if Dean was okay. Dean who could feel the buzz of alcohol leaving, feel the familiar heaviness entering his limbs, feel the false high dissipate into his usual sadness. He ran a thumb across Cas’ bottom lip.

           “I don’t think you’re sober enough to make this decision,” Dean whispered.

           Cas kissed him. “Dean, I’m just drunk enough to make this decision.”

           Dean laughed. “Too drunk.”

           “No.” Cas smiled at him. “No, I’ve wanted this since… since, god, since I knew I wanted things like this. Since eighth grade when you would suck on pencils in class and I would stare at you the whole time. Since tenth grade when you joined the football team and would come into the locker room sweaty and shirtless and in spandex fucking shorts and just stand there and talk to me while I tried to get dressed for first period gym. Goddammit Dean, do you have any idea how hard it was not to get a boner? It was literal torture.”

           Dean laughed.

           Cas kissed him again, longer, sweeter. “I wanted you in college, when you brought home those girls every night. You used to joke about threesomes constantly and I would… I would imagine saying yes instead of brushing you off.” He licked his bottom lip. Dean couldn’t stop staring at him, couldn’t stop his heart from swelling. Cas added, “Then you came out. And I was already married. And it felt like some sick joke.”

           “Cas…”

           Cas shook his head, looked down. “I get it. I’m not the type you usually go for. You’re not a one man guy. It’s fine.” His eyes glistened when he looked back up and his smile was weak. “Just let me have this.”

           Dean stared at him for a long moment, so long that his vision went blurry and Cas’ eyes started to become one before him. He blinked hard. “Cas, if I was a one man guy, it’d be for you.”

           Cas kissed him and suddenly it didn’t feel like such a big deal that they’d missed all those stops, that they might miss the next train if they kept kissing like this, like they had to wait. Dean had waited this long. He had made himself wait this long. And if he had to blame alcohol and bad decisions to get the one thing he wanted, fine. He could brush it all off if he had to. He could forget it all in the morning. Maybe Cas wouldn’t even stay the night. It was fine, totally fine, as long as Cas’ tongue stayed in his mouth and his hands wandered to his ass and they kept finding walls Dean could push him up against. The subway wall was cool and hard and brick but Cas barely made a noise when Dean shoved him up against it, when he gripped his hair and kissed him so hard he tasted blood.

           “I can’t wait,” Cas mumbled. Or at least that’s what Dean thought he said.

           Dean reached his hands down between them, fingers fumbling with Cas’ belt buckle. He felt adrenaline rush through his veins. Yes, he was definitely going to get arrested for this. No, he didn’t really care.

           “I meant…” Cas began. Dean sunk to his knees and pressed his face into Cas’ crotch. Cas whimpered. “A hotel. We could go… to a hotel.”

           Dean kissed up the length of his hardening cock, careful to keep fabric between their skin. He pressed one hand into Cas’ hip, holding him steady as he inhaled his scent. He sucked at the head through the fabric of Cas’ jeans, then pulled down the zipper and pressed his face to Cas’ boxers. He rubbed his nose across his cock, ghosted his lips along its length. He could feel Cas whimpering more than hear him, felt every tremble between his fingertips.

           “You really want that?” Dean whispered. He moved one hand into Cas’ boxers, cupping his balls and feeling the warmth of him. Dean could hear his own heart pounding. He leaned his forehead against Cas’ stomach, tried to steady his breathing as he took Cas’ cock in his hand. “You want a hotel?”

           Cas let out a broken, desperate, sobbing laugh. “I want you to do anything you want to me right fucking here but if we don’t move this to a hotel, we’ll be arrested before that happens.”

           Dean didn’t mind the arrested part. He did mind the part where he got separated from Cas before the main event. With a sigh, he took his hand out of Cas’ boxers and made his way slowly to his feet. He ghosted his lips over Cas’ belly for as long as he could before his shirt fell down and Dean was upright.

           Cas made quick work of tucking himself back into his jeans. As he stepped away from the wall, Dean made a move to put an arm around him. Cas dodged it and said, “Don’t touch me. Or we will spend the night in jail.”

The motel was the dirtiest place Cas had ever stepped foot in. When he whispered this to Dean, Dean laughed at him. So Cas shut up, swallowed his urge to ask they find somewhere else to spend the night, and waited nervously while Dean got the keys. The alcohol was starting to wear off and the realization that this wasn’t just a bad idea but a very bad idea was sweeping over Cas in waves. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and bounced on the balls of his feet.

           Dean turned back to him with a smile. “Ready, babe?”

           Cas felt the nickname go straight to his dick. He kind of never wanted Dean to call him anything else ever again. He nodded. Bad idea or not, he was already there. He wanted this. And he could back out now, be the good guy one more time, or he could do something he really wanted to do and blame it all on the alcohol in the morning.

  ��        They resisted the urge to make-out in the elevator. There was a foot of space between them that Cas suddenly felt like he couldn’t cross, like he didn’t have the guts to step over. Dean opened the door to their room and a musty smell wafted out. Cas really hoped he didn’t get an infection from this. That would be a lot harder to explain than the bruises on his hips.

           He stepped inside and swallowed hard. Looking around the room, there really was only one reason to get a room here. There was no TV. No desk. No armchair with a little footstool. There was just a double bed with yellow-white sheets and thin comforter. The lamp on the bedside table didn’t even have a bulb in it.

           He heard the door shut behind him. He turned to Dean, ready to bite the bullet and tell him this was a horrible decision. But Dean kissed him before he got the words out. And nothing about kissing Dean could ever be a horrible decision because his lips tasted like alcohol and medicated chapstick, like spit and sweat and him.

           Dean pushed him back, his fingers already working at his zipper. He kissed and moved and felt him up roughly, quickly, like he was afraid Cas would pull away at any second and this would never happen. Even well it was happening, it felt like it would never happen to Cas. This was a fever dream or a cruel joke or a hallucination. It wasn’t Dean’s lips on his neck and his hands pulling down his pants and Dean sinking to his knees as he pushed him back onto the bed.

           Cas landed with a squeal of the springs but he couldn’t be bothered to worry about the bed collapsing for too long. Dean had his lips on his inner thighs, taking his sweet time sucking and biting at the skin there as his hands caressed Cas’ calves. Cas whined and tried to sit up, but then Dean’s hand was on his hip, coaxing him back down.

           Cas bit his lip and closed his eyes. Dean’s hand crept up under his thigh, moving forward to grab his ass. He kissed his cock, tongue flicking out to lick long lines over his sensitive skin. His nails bit into Cas’ butt as he sucked at the head of his dick, swirling his tongue and taking his sweet damn time. Cas wondered why. The bedsprings creaked and Cas realized Dean was humping the bed as he worked, his lips making their way up the length of his hardening cock.

           Dean’s other hand rolled his balls and Cas let out a loud moan. He bucked up into Dean’s mouth and Dean didn’t flinch. He moaned. The sound rumbled through Cas’ body, making him feel like he was on fire. Experimentally, he tried to sit up and Dean let him. He shifted forward and Dean didn’t shift back. He looked up at him, eyes wide, almost begging. When Cas didn’t move, he gripped his ass in both hands and moved him forward.

           Cas gasped and reached out to grab onto Dean’s hair. He pulled it a bit and Dean moaned and Cas groaned in return. Then, closing his eyes and trying to forget years of lectures on why this was dangerous, he thrust his hips forward into Dean’s mouth. Dean leaned into the motion so Cas did it again and again and again until he was setting a punishing pace. He let his grip on Dean loosen, carded his fingers through his hair and moved them to his cheek. He could feel his dick there, pounding into the back of Dean’s throat as every muscle in his body tightened. Dean continued to move his tongue and hollow out his cheeks despite the fact that Cas was quickly losing control, his thrusts becoming erratic and too hard. Dean’s nails dug into his ass, urging him on, and Cas had only a second to spare to think about what it meant if he blew his load when his orgasm snuck up on him. All his muscles tensed and then relaxed, come spurting down Dean’s throat.

           Dean finally backed off a little but he swallowed it down dutifully. Some of it dripped out his mouth and he licked it up with his tongue. Then, before Cas could say a word, he bent down and licked the rest of it off Cas’ flaccid dick.

           “Dean, fuck,” Cas whispered. He reached out and brushed his hand through his hair even as he continued to lick up the mess. Cas felt like curling right around him, pulling him into some perverse parody of a hug. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

           “Why?” Dean whispered. He looked up and Cas lost his breath.

           Cas leaned down and kissed him. Placing a hand on the back of his neck, he pulled Dean forward as he leaned back onto the bed. As Dean crawled forward, Cas crept a hand down his chest and cupped it around his cock. He was hard in Cas’ hand, so hard even the touch of his fingers made Dean whine.

           “Shh,” Cas whispered. He lay kisses up Dean’s jaw and murmured in his ear, “I’ll take care of you.”

           He rubbed his fingers over Dean’s crotch and he bucked up into him. Cas thought that might be enough for him, just rutting into his hand like an over-sexed teenager. Cas wondered what it would feel like to have his come leak through his jeans and onto his fingers.

           He rolled Dean onto his back, pulled up his own pants, and clambered over Dean. Dean looked up at him with wide eyes, curious and questioning. Cas brought his hands down on his cheeks to feel the stubble in his palms, to brush a thumb over his swollen lips. Then, slowly, he lowered himself onto Dean’s clothed cock and brushed his covered ass over Dean’s erection. Dean let out a sound that was half moan, half scream and Cas instinctively moved his hand up to cover it.

           Dean wrapped his lips around Cas’ fingers, sucking and shaking. His hips bucked upwards and Cas applied more pressure, revelling in the feeling of Dean rubbing against him. When he was sure Dean had control of himself, he slid his fingers out of his mouth and pressed his hand down on Dean’s shoulder instead.

           “I fucking…” Dean took a deep breath as the words shook over his tongue. “I fucking hate dry-humping.”

           Cas laughed. “It’s hard to tell.”

           “It’s so much… so much fucking worse than the real thing.”

           Cas hummed and circled his hips a little, loving the way Dean swallowed his moans. “It’s effective, though.”

           “Effective and such a waste,” Dean grumbled. “What are we? Teenagers? Just… fuck.” He bit into his bottom lip and the scar ripped open, sending a dribble of blood across his lip. Cas caught his breath and pressed down, feeling Dean’s cock against him. He closed his eyes against the urge to get it all over with. “Just fuck me,” Dean breathed out.

           Cas opened his eyes in surprise. He stopped moving and the breath that Dean let out was almost a sob. “Fuck you?” Cas echoed stupidly.

           “Yes, fuck me,” Dean said, sounding more annoyed than horny as the seconds passed. “What the fuck did you think we were coming here to do?”

           “I just thought… I…” Cas swallowed nervously. He looked away from Dean’s face, his eyes trailing down his body. He had opened a few buttons on his shirt, enough to see his smooth pecs, and the button of his jeans were open, but otherwise, he was still fully clothed. Cas spared a moment of thought for how much his erection must hurt in those tight jeans. “You… bottom?”

           Dean rolled his eyes and bucked up his hips. Cas nearly lost his balance but got the hint: conversation or not, he needed to keep moving his hips. But even when he did, Dean didn’t stop thrusting upwards and even moved a hand to Cas’ hips. His eyes fluttered half-closed.

           “Dean?” Cas prompted, barely making it through the single syllable. He could feel himself starting to get hard again, his ass burning. “Bottoming?”

           “I bottom,” Dean said. “I like it. But whatever. If you don’t like topping, I’ll fuck you. You fuck me, I fuck you, I don’t fucking care just…” He let out a long, low whine like a boiling tea kettle. “Please.”

           Cas shifted so he was sitting on Dean’s thighs instead. He undid the button on his jeans, then the zipper, and tucked his hand inside Dean’s boxers. He had barely brushed his fingers over Dean’s cock when he blew his load.

           “Fuck,” Dean whispered. His whole body was trembling.

           Cas rubbed his weak erection against Dean’s thigh, feeling his come spreading through his fingers as he stroked him through his climax. Dean whined but didn’t push his hand away when it had finished, made no move to stop him at all. So Cas kept going, twisting his fingers around Dean’s cock, letting Dean ride through the aftershocks with cut-off moans.

           “Did we decide?” Dean asked when he finally reached to move Cas’ hand away. He looked up at him as he licked his lips and Cas wondered how he could look so good like that – still clothed, sweaty and sexed, like someone had fucked him with all his clothes on. Which, Cas supposed, he had.

           “Decide what?” Cas said.

           “Who’s fucking who,” Dean said, groaning like this was the most boring conversation he had in his life. He sat up and started tugging off his pants and underwear.

           Cas realized he hadn’t actually seen Dean’s cock yet. But even post-orgasm, it was fantastic. Thick and a good length. He wanted it in his mouth, in his hand, in his ass, wherever he could have it. Dean’s pants hit the floor with a whack.

           “So?” Dean prompted.

           Cas looked back up at him and felt himself start to blush at being caught. Not that it mattered right now but Cas had spent too many years trying not to get caught looking at Dean that looking unashamedly now felt wrong.

           “I’ll fuck you,” Cas said because he wanted to see every one of Dean’s muscles working, because he didn’t want to have to think past thrusting his hips. He felt himself get a little harder just thinking about entering Dean. “Fuck,” he whispered.

           Dean smiled at him and suddenly the whole situation felt a lot more real. There was Dean’s patented smirk, the one he had on whenever he was about to make fun of him. But instead of saying anything, Dean leaned forward and kissed him. “You ready to go yet?” he murmured against his lips.

           Cas chuckled. “You just came.”

           “Wring it out of me again,” Dean whispered. “Do it all fucking night if you want.”

           Cas whined against his lips. Dean shifted onto his knees and cupped Cas’ face in his hands as he kissed him. Then, slowly, he started to undo the buttons of his shirt. Cas shifted into his touch and let his hands wander under Dean’s shirt. His cock rubbed against the V of Dean’s hip and he moaned into the kiss. Dean grabbed his ass and pulled him closer, encouraging him as he one-handedly pushed off Cas’ shirt.

           Cas bit down onto Dean’s shoulder as he rutted against him. He did his best to get his shirt off, but his hands were trembling. Dean’s fingers came down over Cas’ and helped with the buttons. He shrugged his shirt off and Cas let his fingers fall against Dean’s abs, over his pecs, down his sides. He groaned at the feel of him.

           Dean dipped his hands under the waistband of Cas’ jeans and pulled them down. Cas shifted enough to get them down and then broke their embrace to pull them off the rest of the way. Before they even hit the floor, Dean was pulling him back, kissing his shoulders and his neck. Cas’ hard cock rubbed against Dean’s stomach and he muffled a groan as he pressed into the sensation, wondering if he could get off by fucking Dean’s abs.

           “Wait,” Dean said. He shifted back a bit and then took Cas’ cock in his hand. He moved a bit more, adjusting, and then took them both in his hand. Cas gasped as his dick rubbed against Dean’s, as Dean’s fingers skidded along both their lengths. He added his own hand to the mix, curling his fingers over Dean’s, trying to get him to move faster, rougher. He could barely catch his breath.

           Then Dean kissed him, swirling their tongues together. Cas could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He kind of felt like he was going to die.

           “Stop,” Cas whispered. He squeezed Dean’s fingers with his own, trying to swallow the whimper in his throat.

           Dean cupped his chin in a hand and tilted it up so he could look at him. His eyes were so green, so much greener than Cas had ever realized, and he felt like he had spent a lot of time trying to categorize the colour of Dean’s eyes. Green didn’t quite cover it.

           “What’s wrong, babe?”

           “Nothing’s wrong.” Cas almost laughed at the thought. He wanted to kiss the worry off Dean’s lips, away from the wrinkles under his eyes. “I’m just gonna come again if we keep this up. And I kinda thought you wanted me to fuck you.”

           Dean smiled. “Do I really have that much of an effect on you?”

           “You have no fucking clue.”

           Dean kissed him and Cas sunk into the softness of it. He didn’t speed it up or slow it down. Somehow it felt like they were getting in all the kisses they’d missed over the years tonight. This one, this one must have been that mistletoe in Cas’ first apartment with Kelly. The subway was all those drunken nights wandering home in college. The bar was when they’d snuck out at sixteen with fake IDs and wound up in jail, waiting for their parents to get out of bed and pick them up.

           Dean pulled away and licked his lips. Both his hands cradled Cas’ face. “Where do you want me?” he said.

           Cas’ brain almost short-circuited at those words but he forced it to keep working. “Do you have any lube?”

           “Somewhere,” Dean said. “My wallet, maybe.”

           Cas slipped off the bed. The cold of the motel room overcame him without Dean touching him and he suddenly felt sticky and silly and like the whole world was revolving without them. He stumbled towards Dean’s jeans and pulled out his wallet, started flicking through the cards and bills and receipts.

           Dean shifted on the bed – the springs gave him away – and he kissed Cas’ back. He started to flutter his lips down his spine and Cas felt himself shaking. His fingers slipped, snapping everything back into the overstuffed space.

           “I can’t find it,” Cas said.

           “Give it to me.” But instead of waiting, Dean wrapped his arms over Cas’ shoulders and grabbed the wallet out of his hands. For a second, his naked body pressed up against Cas’ back and his weight hung off his shoulders. Then he was gone.

           Cas turned to see him flopping back on the bed, tossing things out of his wallet at random. “You’re gonna need those cards later,” Cas said.

           “But not now.”

           Cas sat down on the end of the bed, watching.

           Dean pulled out a plastic packet of travel lube – he had travel lube – and smiled. He flicked it at Cas. “Where do you want me?” he repeated.

           Cas wanted Dean everywhere, in every position, all night long. But he was sure this erection was the last one in him and that he’d only get to do this once. “All fours,” he said. He stood up as Dean shifted into position and pushed his ass into the air.

           Cas took a deep breath. He ripped open the packet and spread the lube onto his fingers before stepping forward and spreading Dean’s cheeks. With just one finger, Dean shifted but made no noise. Cas added a second finger. Then, with little struggle, a third.

           “Shit,” Cas said. “Do you even need lube?”

           Dean laughed. “I do like to be warmed up a bit.”

           Cas curled his fingers and Dean groaned. “You already feel warmed up.”

           Dean leaned forward, pressing his face into a pillow as he whimpered. Cas shifted up onto the bed and pushed his fingers in further, looking for room or friction. He pressed a kiss to the base of Dean’s spine and then, in a bout of inspiration, lowered his kisses down the crack of his ass.

           Dean moaned as Cas swirled his tongue around the rim of his hole. He felt Dean buck back into him so he moved his other hand to steady him. Slipping out two fingers, he pressed his tongue against the hole and then dipped it in, moving his finger along with it. A groan shuddered through Dean’s body and Cas gripped his hip harder as he pushed his tongue along the rim and buried his face in Dean’s ass.

           “I’m ready,” Dean managed.

           Cas chuckled. He licked his lips as he came up and pressed a wet kiss to Dean’s ass. Then he dragged his teeth against the warm flesh and relished the way Dean whimpered. “Are you sure, sweetie?” Cas said, soft. “I wouldn’t want to do it without warming you up properly. Are you sure you don’t want to—” He was cut off by Dean moaning when he twisted his fingers.

           “Okay, baby,” Cas whispered. He pulled his fingers out and shifted to be squarely behind Dean. He stroked his ass with one hand, resisting the urge to slap it or bite it. He rubbed his cock up the crack of Dean’s ass, biting his lip to resist groaning.

           “Do it,” Dean snapped.

           “Patience.”

           “I’m not a fucking doctor, just fuck me.”

           Cas exhaled a laugh and lined himself up. With one last, steadying breath, he pushed inside. He almost lost it the moment their skin touched and again when he felt Dean squeeze around him. He hissed out his breath, let his hand slide up the length of Dean’s spine as he pushed in. He kept his pace slow, his eyes closed, afraid if he moved too fast it would all be over in seconds and Cas wanted to remember this moment for the rest of his life. He wanted this moment to last for the rest of his life.

           Then Dean shifted backwards, slamming Cas fully into him and he groaned.

           “Fuck,” Cas bit out, tasting blood on his tongue from where he’d bitten it. He grasped Dean’s hip, not kindly, and kept him steady for a moment as shockwaves rolled through his body. “Don’t do that.”

           “Then do something,” Dean bit back.

           Cas reached around with his other hand to stroke Dean’s cock. Dean whimpered at his touch and tried to thrust into it, but Cas held his hip steady. Damn him if Dean moved on his own for the rest of the night. When Cas’ breath had steadied and Dean was damn near a puddle, rock hard in Cas’ hand, Cas pulled back and thrust forward. He felt all the breath leave Dean’s body.

           He started slow – his thrusts regular and steady – and sped up at a reasonable pace. He squeezed the base of Dean’s cock whenever he got too close. Dean’s groans and whimpers wet the pillow at his lips, the sheets going dark around his mouth. Even as he melted, he squeezed his muscles around Cas’ cock, bucked back into him whenever he felt Cas’ fingers loosening at his hip. And Cas could feel himself slowly, surely, losing control as he watched Dean’s muscles ripple and relax.

           When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he started to thrust faster. The slap of skin against skin filled the air and Dean came easily, quickly, his come spread over Cas’ fingers. Cas spread it up the length of his abs and then squeezed his ass, still thrusting harder and faster as Dean tried to wring his orgasm out of him. He felt himself spiralling out of control, sweat making his hair fall into his eyes.

           When he came, he felt his whole body go limp and sated. He curled over Dean’s back, stroking his sides as his release left him. He kissed down his spine before sitting up and pulling out, sighing as fatigue washed over him. Dean slipped down so he was lying on the bed, breathing heavily, the pillow still half in his mouth.

           Cas lay down beside him on his belly, looked at Dean’s face. Dean’s eyes were closed as air heaved through his body, making the bedsprings give off their last, dying squeaks. Cas reached forward and cupped his cheek, feeling the stubble prickle his palm.

           “We need to get up,” Cas whispered.

           Dean groaned. “We have the room for the night.”

           Cas laughed. “No. I mean we need to shower.”

           Dean shook his head into the pillow.

           Cas couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t make his mouth close. He shook Dean’s shoulder. “Can’t you feel all that come drying? Isn’t that really gross to you?”

           “No,” Dean mumbled. “I like it.”

           “You have to shower.”

           Dean groaned and pressed his whole face into the pillow. Cas brushed his fingers through his hair, patient, waiting. He pressed his lips to Dean’s shoulder.

           Dean lifted his face and one green eye peeked out at Cas. “You’ll shower with me?”

           “I’ll shower with you,” Cas agreed.

Cas closed his eyes tighter against the sunlight shining through the thin curtains. Then, squinting, he slowly opened them to see the man in front of him. The man who was definitely not his boyfriend. Dean Winchester, fast asleep, a slight smile on his lips, his stubble starting to grow into a thin beard.

           Cas wrapped their legs tighter together for an instant. He was afraid to blink. He wanted to memorize this – the warm bed and their entangled bodies and the soft look on Dean’s face. He wanted to pretend he could wake up to this every morning, wanted to memorize the image so he could remember it every morning and pretend. He reached his hand forward and caressed Dean’s cheek, brushed his thumb over his bottom lip.

           Dean grumbled, shifted, but didn’t stir.

           Cas bit down on all the feelings swelling in his belly, on the sadness clogging his throat. Then, slowly, he shifted out of Dean’s embrace and started the cold work of searching for his clothes. His thoughts whirled as he tried to come up with an excuse to tell Parker about why he had been out all night, why his clothes were wrinkled, why he didn’t come home before he went to work. Home was in the opposite direction of work at this point and he had spare clothes in his office.

           As he did up the last few buttons on his shirt, Dean groaned and rolled over on the bed. He blinked open his eyes and slowly focused on Cas. “Where are you going?”

           “Work.”

           “Aah.” Dean pushed himself into a sitting position and waggled his eyebrows. “You don’t wanna stay for round two?”

           Cas smiled at him. “More like round three.”

           Dean smiled back and Cas felt that familiar tug on his heartstrings. He looked away as he shuffled into his shoes and turned around to sit on the end of the bed as he tied his laces. Taking a deep breath, he said, “We’re okay, right?”

           Dean yawned and the bedsprings squealed as he got to his feet. “Why wouldn’t we be okay?”

           Cas shrugged. “I don’t know. We’re not exactly friends with benefits.” He spared a glance towards Dean and wished the other man didn’t look so confused. It was probably just early. Dean got it, Dean had to get it. Dean was the reason it had to be this way. “It’s not going to be weird now?”

           “Why would it be weird?”

           Cas sighed. He looked back down at his tied shoes. “Because,” he said. He really wished Dean didn’t have an insatiable urge to make everything difficult. Cas got to his feet and turned to face Dean. “This was a mistake. A onetime thing. A stupid, drunken night. And I don’t want it to ruin our friendship.”

           Dean stared at him for a moment, his eyes wide and blank, and Cas thought he saw something like hurt flash through them. Then he chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. His armpit hair was wild even though the rest of him was smooth and Cas still wanted to lick his abs, press kisses into his neck. He was surprised, looking at him, by how many bruises he’d left the night before, by the yellow-brown indent of his fingers around Dean’s hips.

           “Cas, if my friendships were ruined every time I fucked someone, I would have no friends to speak of.” He shook his head and took a step forward. He pressed a wet, meaningless kiss against Cas’ cheek and then slapped it for good measure. “We’re fine.”

           Cas looked into his eyes. He watched his smile. He saw nothing wrong.

           “Go to work,” Dean said, stepping back. “I have to clean up all this shit anyways.”

           Cas didn’t move. He watched Dean bend over, told himself he wasn’t appreciating his ass one last time. Then, “Okay,” he said. He patted his back pocket to make sure his wallet was still there and headed for the door. Only once he was on the other side of it did he realize he should have showered again, freshened up, gone to the bathroom. But knocking didn’t seem like an option anymore, so he walked away.

Dean sunk to the ground as soon as Cas left. The motel carpet was itchy and had that distinct feel of something unwashed but he couldn’t bring himself to stand up. His legs felt weak, shaky, like he’d been fucked seconds ago instead of hours. He scrubbed his hand down his face.

           Of course he’d known it was a onetime thing. Of course he’d realized they weren’t friends with benefits. He wasn’t a fucking idiot. He didn’t entertain romantic notions of marrying Cas and having his kids. He hadn’t thought this would change everything, change both their lives, that one drunken night was worth throwing away everything for. He didn’t.

           Of course he did.

           Dean tried not to remember the things Cas had said about him, about wanting him for so long. He tried not to let them run through his mind, not to wonder how Cas could want him so much but not want to be with him. But that was who he was, wasn’t it? Always the one-night-stand, never the bride. Fuck him. And fuck his brain for thinking this was the exception.

           After a long few minutes, Dean hoisted himself to his feet. He took a hot shower and brushed his teeth with some toothpaste that looked like it’d been left behind a decade ago. He got his clothes back on, picked up the contents of his wallet, and checked under the bed for good measure. When he was sure the room was clean – or, at least, empty of his stuff – he left the key on the bedside table and walked out the door.

           He didn’t talk to anyone all day. He ignored Charlie’s texts asking where he’d been, if he was dead, if he’d finally fucked Cas. She was livid he’d left her in the bar – she’d been in the bathroom for three minutes, was he really that horny? – but more curious about what he’d gotten up to. He ignored Sam’s call and subsequent text asking if he was coming over for dinner that night. The last thing Dean wanted to see now was Sam and Jess and their happy fucking family. Knowing their Saturday night dinners, his parents would probably be there as well and he might just burst into tears if they asked him if he was seeing anyone. Not that Dean cried. He didn’t cry. And he ignored all his coworkers at the garage, going so far as to simply raise his eyebrows at his boss when she asked if he was done on the Camaro. It was in fifty fucking bazillion pieces still – of course he wasn’t done.

           Just as he rolled into bed for the night, his phone lit up with another text. He sighed, ready to finally tell Charlie to fuck off, when he realized it was from Cas. It said: were you avoiding me today

           Dean wrinkled his face. It wasn’t hard not to see Cas all day long – guy had a kid and a boyfriend and a fulltime job and – oh. Fucking grocery shopping. Dean forgot he went grocery shopping on Saturdays. He texted back: busy at work. didn’t have the time

           And then he stared at his phone for a very long time before remembering Cas rarely replied to texts that didn’t need replies. He locked his phone and rolled his face into his pillow, praying he wouldn’t dream of Cas.

           He dreamed of Cas.

           He dreamed Cas was touching him, kissing him, whispering promises into his ears. He dreamed they would wake up together in the morning, make breakfast, send the kids off to school. He woke up a hundred times in the night and finally gave up on sleep around five a.m.

           Days passed. He inevitably ran into Cas and managed to keep his cool, to not act like he’d been fantasizing about their life together for days. He smirked and made jokes and called Cas babe instead of angel and watched him blush everywhere. He punched him in the arm and walked away, always walked away too fast, always made it feel awkward. It was the best he could do, the best he could manage, and he could feel Cas staring after him every time like I thought you said this wouldn’t be a problem.

           Then Dean got sick. And he was smart enough to know the difference between sick and sick. So he went out of his way to a different grocery store and covered the pregnancy test in bags and bags of gummy candy which really felt like more of an admission that anything else. He avoided the cashiers in favour of the self-checkout and made his way home. He locked himself in his bathroom like he thought someone else might come in, someone else might see.

           He peed on the stick and he waited.

           He waited longer than he needed to. He left the bathroom. He made popcorn. He watched a whole season of Orange is the New Black. He wandered back into the bathroom full of off-brand pop, rubbing his eyes from fatigue, and unzipped his pants. As he pissed, his eyes wandered over to the counter.

           A pink plus sign stared back at him.

Dean stood on the sidelines of the football game and watched as the kids ran from one end of the field to the other. Sam blew the whistle every few seconds, forcing them to switch directions rapidly. Dean wished he could say he didn’t mind – it was Sam’s job, Sam had to do his job – but he rarely told Sam he needed to talk. He rarely wanted to talk about anything. He thought maybe that warranted his brother’s full attention.

           After a few more whistle blows, Sam called them all to a stop and sent them off to run various drills on their own. As he walked back to Dean, he took off his cap and ran his hand through his hair. He offered Dean an apologetic smile. “Sorry. The first game that matters this season is Friday.”

           “It’s okay,” Dean said.

           Sam gave him an odd look. He clearly knew it did matter but Dean didn’t want to fight about that. He didn’t want to fight about anything. He didn’t even want to explain the problem. He thought maybe the way he’d crossed his arms over his stomach would give it away, maybe the three layers of shirts he was wearing. He didn’t want to say the words out loud.

           “What’s up?” Sam said.

           Dean bounced on the balls of his feet and looked away. A cool breeze rippled through the air and a shout came from the other end of the field as one boy tackled another. Dean let out a big breath and said, “I’m pregnant.”

           Sam side-eyed him. “Get another abortion.”

           “I thought about that.” Dean tried not to bite his tongue off. He felt like during the last few days he was starting to wear a hole through his tongue, a thin groove, and eventually its tip would just fall off. “My doctor said there’s already… just so much scarring and he’s afraid if I get another abortion, I might not be able to have a baby.”

           Sam blew his whistle and shouted at some kids who had started a scrum without his permission. Dean held back a sigh until Sam turned back to him, eyes wide and curious. “Is that something you want?” Sam said. “Kids?”

           Dean shrugged. “Maybe? Once I’m ready to settle down.”

           Sam snorted. “Dean, you’re almost forty. If you haven’t settled down yet—”

           “I know,” Dean snapped. He felt bad about it immediately but Sam didn’t even flinch. He had squinted his eyes and was watching the defence line do crappy push-ups. Dean cleared his throat to get his attention again. “I might want kids someday. And if I can’t get pregnant, and my partner can’t get pregnant or doesn’t want to get pregnant, then… then what am I supposed to do if I’ve had so many stupid fucking abortions that I can’t do it again?”

           Sam’s eyes softened and he reached out to grip Dean’s shoulder. “There’s always adoption.”

           Dean let out a humourless laugh. “That would mean carrying this fucking thing for nine months.”

           “So?”

           “So,” Dean said, “that would mean telling the father.”

           Sam frowned. “Who’s the father?”

           Dean looked away. He wanted to swallow his tongue. He wanted to rewind the conversation for a few minutes so he could come up with a better argument against adoption, against being pregnant for nine months, so that he didn’t wind up here. He closed his eyes for a second, willing the rewind into reality.

           “Who?” Sam repeated.

           Dean sighed and kicked the ground. “You don’t want to know.”

           “You didn’t.”

           Dean looked up. He wasn’t surprised Sam was furious – of course Sam was fucking furious. Cas was a friend of both of them. Cas’ kid was on the fucking football team. Cas had a boyfriend and a life and they’d had an unspoken agreement for some time that Dean wasn’t allowed to fuck up Cas’ life because of his libido. But he was surprised to find that Sam looked worried, scared even. It made his own fear bubble in his stomach.

           “Dean,” Sam said, steady, “tell me you didn’t.”

           “It seemed like a fucking good idea at the time, all right?”

           “And now what the fuck are you going to do?” Sam sighed and shook his head. “You had to fuck him and you couldn’t even be bothered with a condom and now you can’t get an abortion and what, Dean? Are you just going to tell him you’re carrying his baby? Because we both know exactly what he’s going to do when he finds that out.”

           Dean swallowed hard. He did know exactly what Cas would do. Cas was a good guy. He’d married Kelly when she got pregnant. He had sat with Dean while he’d taken multiple pregnancy tests throughout his life. When he’d given Jack the birds and the bees talk, he’d reminded him several times to take responsibility for his actions – no matter how scary that was. Cas would give up his life for him in a second. He would give up his life for the baby.

           Dean opened his mouth, unsure exactly what he was going to say, when he noticed Jack standing a few feet away. He nodded his chin towards him and Sam turned.

           “What?” Sam snapped, harsher than usual.

           Jack flinched but then took a step forward. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” He swallowed heavily. Dean wondered how much of the conversation he had heard. “But, uh…” He scratched the back of his neck. “Coach, you didn’t tell us what to do when we finished the drills? We were just… wondering.”

           Sam glanced over at Dean. Dean waved him on and Sam stepped out onto the field, clapping his hands and shouting to get everyone’s attention. But Jack stayed rooted to the spot, staring at Dean.

           “Go on,” Dean said. “You don’t want to get my brother pissed.”

           Jack nodded but still didn’t move.

           “What?”

           “I just…” Jack fiddled his thumbs and looked down at the grass. He took a deep breath. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great dad.”

           Dean stared at him, unable to come up with the words to reply to that. Jack ran off before he thought of anything. Maybe he should have told him not to tell his father. Maybe he should have cleared up exactly what Jack had overheard. Fear and nausea rumbled in his stomach and, before Sam could return, Dean headed back to his truck.

Cas turned off the burners on the stove just as the garlic started to get that distinct burnt smell. He bit into his bottom lip and moved the pan. He told himself it would be fine. He told himself that a lot these days.

           He wiped off his hands on the kitchen towel as he tried to think about what he needed to do next. Set the table? Pour the milk? He couldn’t think over the racket of Jack’s music in the room above – Dean must have gotten him hooked on old rock music because that was the only decent reason for the absolute chaos of drums rattling through the walls. Cas sighed and picked up his phone. He sent Jack a quick text telling him to shut it the hell off and come down to dinner.

           Parker walked into the kitchen halfway through undoing his tie. He pressed a kiss to Cas’ cheek. “What’s for dinner, Cas?”

           “What’s it look like?” Cas snapped. Parker stepped away from him and Cas closed his eyes, biting back a sigh. “Sorry. Long day.”

           “Big sale?”

           “Ran out of ramen. And you know every university student in the world goes grocery shopping on fucking Wednesday.”

           “Swear jar,” Jack said as he walked into the kitchen. He reached around Cas and picked out a tomato from the stir fry. He popped it into his mouth, continued to speak as he chewed, “Unless I’m allowed to say fuck now.”

           “Swear jar,” Cas and Parker said in unison.

           “Him first.” Jack flopped down at the kitchen table.

           “I told you to set that,” Cas said.

           Jack looked back at him blankly as he started to butter a slice of bread.

           With a sigh, Cas slammed open a cabinet and pulled out the plates. He set the table efficiently, his fingers moving without his mind catching up to what he was doing, and then he doled out the food. Parker slumped into his chair, sighing as he brushed a hand through his close-cropped hair. Cas tossed the frying pan in the sink and then sat down himself before stabbing at the food.

           “Aren’t we going to say grace?” Jack said.

           “Shut up and eat,” Cas said. He didn’t bother to look up to see whatever expression Jack was giving him, whatever false shock was filling his eyes. Usually, when Jack was in a mood, Cas would take the time to coax it out of him, to get to the bottom of the problem, to make him feel better. But tonight, he didn’t even have the urge to do those things, just the nagging guilt that Kelly would want him to.

           Parker filled the silence by regaling them all with tales of the case he was working on. Cas let his voice float in one ear and out the other. The weird thing was, he didn’t even have anything on his mind. He couldn’t remember thinking all day. All he had was a layer of irritation on his skin like a thin shield from whatever real emotions he should be feeling. He packed food into his mouth without tasting it, without feeling it, and chewed dutifully.

           When Parker’s story finished, he smiled and looked around the table. “Anyone else want to share from their day?”

           Cas glanced over at him. “You’ve barely touched your food.”

           “It’s a little bitter.”

           “A lot,” Jack said.

           Parker shot him a disapproving look and then reached out to squeeze Cas’ shoulder. “Still good.”

           Jack grunted.

           “You two can cook any time,” Cas mumbled through a mouthful. He didn’t want to fight. He didn’t want to get annoyed. A heavy sense of fatigue fell onto his shoulders and he felt he might collapse under its weight.

           “I have something interesting to share,” Jack said, sounding every bit like a defiant asshole.

           “If it’s rude, forget it,” Cas said. “And if it’s why you’re in such a bad mood, please get it the fuck off your chest so we can have a pleasant evening.”

           “Why are you in a bad mood?” Jack countered.

           “I don’t know,” Cas replied honestly. He dropped his fork and swallowed the last bite in his mouth. Finally, he tasted it and they were both right – it was bitter. “Why are you in a bad mood?”

           Jack looked him in the eye. It felt like it was the first time he’d done it that night and it might have been. His eyes were soft and blue like Kelly’s and Cas immediately felt bad for snapping at him. He was a teenager. He had every right to act like an asshole. God knows Cas acted like Satan when he was Jack’s age.

           Cas reached forward and squeezed Jack’s hand where it lay on the table. “What’s up, buddy?”

           Jack clenched his jaw and shook his head. “It doesn’t make any sense. It’s stupid.”

           Cas glanced towards Parker but Parker was already getting to his feet. He winked at Cas, patted Jack on the back, and then disappeared into the next room. After a few seconds, the soft static of the evening news floated back to them.

           “You wanna tell me now?” Cas asked.

           “It’s about Dean.”

           Cas resisted the urge to sigh. “What about Dean?”

           “It told you. It’s stupid.” Jack pulled his hand back and crossed his arms. “Can I go to my room now? I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want another lecture on how he’s not my dad and you’re sorry you let me feel that way but that I have to understand and—”

           “Jack,” Cas cut him off. He shifted, scraping the chair legs across the wood floors, and leaned forward. “You are my son and I love you. And if you don’t want me to say any of those things again, I won’t. I get that you see Dean as a father figure. It’s okay.”

           Jack chewed on his bottom lip. “Yeah. Okay.”

           “Can you tell me what happened?” Cas mentally ran through a quick list of all the things Dean could possibly do to upset Jack. He had a sneaking suspicion this was all his fault. No matter how cool Dean pretended to be about the whole thing, Cas knew something was wrong between them. “Did Dean… did he get mad at you?”

           “No. Nothing like that.”

           “Then what?”

           “I guess… I guess it just finally hit me today that he’s never going to be my dad. That you two aren’t in love and you never will be and that I’ll never have a normal fucking family.”

           Cas felt his heart stutter to a stop. He licked his lips. “Parker—”

           “Parker doesn’t give a shit about me,” Jack said. “Yeah, he’s nice enough and he buys me stuff, I guess, but he’s not my dad.”

           “You told him you didn’t need another one.”

           “Because I’ve got two!”

           Cas lost use of his tongue.

           A tear slipped out of Jack’s eyes and he brushed it away quickly. “Whatever,” he said, getting to his feet, sniffling. “It doesn’t matter anymore, does it? It’s not going to happen. You have Parker and Dean has whoever’s baby he’s having and I have no one.” He tossed his almost full plate into the sink, the porcelain shattering, and stormed out of the kitchen.

           Some part of Cas’ brain urged him to go after him. Kelly would never leave him like that, never let him go to bed angry, and the guilt of ignoring Kelly’s ghost ate away at his stomach. But Cas couldn’t move. He mentally rewound the days, followed the timeline, and tried to tell himself that there was no guarantee the baby was his. How many people would Dean have slept with in that time? But Cas knew better. He knew Dean had a girlfriend before him. He knew Dean had been busy after him. He knew.

“You’ve been quiet,” Parker said as he looked up from his book.

           Cas glanced up at him, struggling with all the words inside of him, all the things he needed to say, all the things he didn’t want to say. Parker looked so good there. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d entered his bedroom at night and Parker had already been there sitting, reading, his glasses halfway down his nose and his chest bare. Cas gave himself one last moment appreciating those abs.

           “I can put down the book, if you want.” Parker smiled.

           Cas wanted so badly to smile back. He so badly wanted easy back. Sure, Parker wasn’t perfect and he was never around but he was real and he loved him and he loved Jack. Cas hadn’t had anything so easy, so effortless, since he had Kelly. He missed it.

           Parker set down the book and leaned forward. He patted the mattress beside him. “What’s wrong?” he said. “You have that look on your face like when you ran over that cat.”

           “You said you’d stop reminding me of that.” Cas sighed and took a seat at the foot of the bed. He reached out on instinct and started to massage Parker’s feet. With a pleasurable sound, Parker leaned back into the pillow and let his eyes close. “I do need to talk to you,” Cas said.

           “So talk.”

           Cas bit his bottom lip. Even though Paker’s eyes were closed, he looked away from him. “Dean’s pregnant.”

           “And?”

           “And…” Cas tried to swallow the bile in his throat, the urge to vomit all over everything. He let Parker’s foot slip from his hands. “It’s mine.”

           A terrible silence followed. Cas could hear every sound the big house made – the creaks of the floorboards, the hum of the central heating, the ghost of Jack’s music in the next room. He could even hear Parker’s steady breathing. After what felt like a small eternity, Cas looked up to meet his boyfriend’s eyes.

           Parker was trying not to laugh.

           “You’re not mad?” Cas said.

           “That you’re banging Dean behind my back?” Parker chuckled and leaned forward. He took Cas’ face in his hands and kissed him. “You don’t think I’ve known that since I met the guy?”

           “I’m not…” Cas pulled away, shaking his head. “I’m not banging Dean. It was once. One time. That’s it.”

           “Then how are you even sure it’s yours?”

           “I just… I am.”

           Parker let out a heavy exhale and shook his head but said nothing. His eyes flicked over to his book like the conversation was boring him and he’d rather be reading.

           Cas stared at him. “Are you seriously not upset?”

           “Should I be?”

           “I just told you I cheated on you, that I got another man pregnant, and you’re… laughing.”

           Parker shrugged. “We’re in an open relationship.”

           “We most certainly are not.”

           Parker stared at him for a long moment, seeming genuinely shocked for the first time that night. Cas felt his heart sink right into his feet. Parker moved his legs in, finally sitting upright, and said, “We are. We definitely are. Where do you think I am all the time? What do you think I do at night?”

           “You’re cheating on me?”

           “It’s not cheating! We’re gay.”

           “It’s still cheating!” Cas stood up abruptly and started to pace. He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I’m not… we’re not… that’s not who I am, Parker! I’ve always been a one person guy. I always will be. And you’ve been… you’ve thought… who else did you think I was sleeping with?”

           “Other than Dean?” Parker shrugged. “I just thought it was something we didn’t talk about. When I told you about Oliver, you said you didn’t want to hear about it and I just assumed—”

           “I thought Oliver was your ex!”

           Parker pursed his lips and swung his legs off the bed. Slowly, carefully, he padded across the floor to catch Cas as he paced. He placed his hands on Cas’ arms and started to rub them gently. “Look, I’m sorry. I honestly thought you knew. I thought we had an understanding.”

           Cas threw him off and took a step back. “That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting.”

           Parker sighed. “Plenty of people have open relationships.”

           “I have a son,” Cas said. “I had a wife. We have this house and a life and I thought…” Cas trailed off, swallowing all thought of engagements and marriages and more children with Parker. He couldn’t even feel his heart anymore. It was like it had gone numb. “I thought this was real.”

           “It is real.”

           “I’m not…” Cas sighed and buried his face in his hands. He forced himself to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry that I gave you the wrong impression. I’m sorry that I did whatever I did to make you think that this is what I want but it’s not what I want. I want monogamy and a marriage and a home for my son and I want to be a good example for him and I can’t… I can’t do this.”

           Parker frowned. “What do you mean?”

           “I mean I need you to leave.”

           Parker stared at him for a long moment, seemingly frozen in place. Cas wished he could freeze him in place, freeze this moment in place, go back in time and not even tell Parker about Dean. If he had swallowed his feelings and his thoughts and his beliefs, he could have kissed Parker’s chest and his lips and be well on his way to a good night’s sleep right now. Instead, he felt like he’d never sleep again. He already knew he’d spend the rest of the night re-examining his entire relationship with Parker, trying to see where he went wrong, what he’d done to give the impression that he wanted to be in an open relationship.

           Parker took a step back. He picked up his book. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’ll… I’ll sleep on the couch and I’ll be out by noon.”

           He was halfway out the door by the time Cas managed to mumble, “Thank you,” and he was gone before Cas fell asleep.

Dean rolled out from under the truck to take a breath of fresh air. He could feel his lungs working through the grease, his chest heaving. He had a momentary thought for the well-being of the baby but then he shook it off. It’s not like it mattered. Whether he wanted the thing or not, he couldn’t tell Cas so he couldn’t keep it.

           “Dean?”

           Speak of the devil.

           Dean turned his head towards the front of the garage and saw Cas’ silhouette framed in the midday sun. He lifted a hand to shield his eyes, took a deep breath to steady himself, and called out, “What? Needed to see me all sweaty to ruin those daydreams?”

           “Can you not joke?” Cas said.

           There was something about his voice that made Dean’s blood run cold. He dropped the wrench in his hand, sat up, and grabbed for the rag he’d set on the ground earlier. He wiped off his hands and then offered one to Cas. “Help me up?”

           Cas did so and then let go abruptly.

           Dean frowned at him. “What’s up?”

           “I don’t know why you didn’t tell me,” Cas said starting the conversation in the middle. Dean blinked, at a loss. Cas continued, “I don’t know why you think I wouldn’t want to know or that I wouldn’t help or that I wouldn’t… care.”

           “Can you be a little more specific?”

           “Dean, I don’t know what you want from me.” Cas sighed. “And I don’t even know what you think of me and it makes it really hard to be standing here asking if you’re okay, if you need anything, if you want me involved.”

           “Involved?”

           Cas bit his bottom lip.

           Dean shifted his stance, trying to catch Cas’ eye. When he couldn’t, he reached out and grabbed on to his shoulder, pulling him closer. Finally, Cas looked up at him with sad, wide blue eyes. Dean chuckled, to lighten the tension. “If you’re going to be mad at me, or whatever this is, can you at least let me know what it’s about?”

           “Jack told me.”

           “Jack told you what?”

           Cas took a deep breath and his face settled into hard lines. “That you’re pregnant.”

           Dean let his hand drop. Without really meaning to, he took a step back. “Oh. That.”

           “Yeah, that.” Cas stepped forward. Now he was trying to meet Dean’s eyes but Dean busied himself at the tool bench, trying to sort the hodgepodge of wrenches that his boss swore had rightful places on the hooks. Cas stopped a step or two behind him but Dean could still feel his presence, hear his breathing. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

           Dean shrugged. “Because it’s not a big deal? Because I don’t tell ninety percent of the guys who knock me up?”

           “I’m your best friend.”

           “So?” Dean turned around. He had forgotten to take a breath, forgotten to steady himself, and looking into Cas’ eyes, he knew he didn’t have complete control over his expression. He tried for cold, distant, but maybe he looked as scared as he felt. “Best friend or not, you were still just a one night stand. What would you care?”

           “I care.”

           “You said it was a mistake. You said forget about it.” Dean leaned back against the bench. “So that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

           Cas stared at him for a long moment and then shook his head. “I didn’t do that alone. You agreed it was a onetime thing, that it could never happen again. We weren’t… we aren’t…” Cas swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

           “I don’t want anything from you. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

           “Well, tough shit. I’m your friend. I’m the father. I want to help.”

           “You have a life, Cas. You have a boyfriend.”

           “I don’t have a boyfriend anymore.”

           Dean felt a stupid spark of hope in his chest, something he knew he had to crush fast. He bit down hard on his tongue and summoned all the stupidity he had in him, all the anger. He channelled all his grief into madness and snapped, “So you found out I was pregnant and thought, what? ‘Better marry him, too. Better prove I’m a good fucking guy all over again.’ You thought, ‘I’ll just do the right thing and dump my boyfriend for my best friend who I fucked because he’s slutty and a good lay’? Was that your logic, Cas? You thought you’d just marry the next poor sap you knocked up?”

           Cas shook his head. “That’s not fair.”

           “Couldn’t marry Parker.” Dean threw his hands up. “Because he fucked you. And you can only marry people that you knock u—”

           Cas slammed Dean back into the tool bench, his hand half-wrapped around Dean’s throat, fire in his eyes. His teeth bared, he hissed, “Don’t you fucking dare talk about Kelly like that.”

           Dean shoved Cas off and straightened his shirt collar. “You know I’m right.”

           “You’re not right! Do you see me proposing? Do you see me down on one knee?” Cas shouted. He turned away for a moment, biting his fist. Dean could feel himself shaking, could feel hot tears in his eyes but he held them back by force of will. Cas let out a heavy breath. “So what if I want to do the right thing? You’re my best friend. I want to make sure you’re okay, that you’re taken care of. That’s all.”

           “I don’t want you to take care of me.” The lie sounded thin even to his own ears. “You have your own life, Cas. I don’t want to screw that up because we got drunk and fucked.”

           Cas deflated. Dean watched him do it, watched the anger leach out of him. He resisted the urge to rub the sore spot on his neck, to wring apologies out of Cas. Cas took one step forward, then another. “It’s not screwing up my life,” he whispered. “It’s whatever you want to do. I want to help.”

           “And what if I keep it? Then what?”

           Cas shrugged. “We figure it out.”

           “We co-parent?”

           “We did it with Jack.”

           Dean couldn’t stop the sob that broke through his chest. He turned away almost immediately but Cas’ hand touched his back and he had to close his eyes against it all. He shook his head. “I can’t, Cas. I can’t do it again. I won’t.”

           “Won’t do what?”

           “Play pretend.” Dean gasped out the words. He braced his hands against the tool bench and forced himself to breathe. He licked his lips. “How much of that night do you remember?”

           “All of it.”

           Dean refused to let his breath catch at that. He bent further into himself, forced his voice to steady. “So what do you think I meant when I said I couldn’t do this with you? That I’d been good about not doing it with you?”

           “That you hadn’t fucked me yet because we’re friends.”

           “I’d hadn’t fucked you yet because I’m in love with you.” Dean whirled around, the words leaving his lips before he could stop them. And when he saw the shock on Cas’ face, the ice in his expression, Dean’s brain whirled for ways to backpedal. But his lips kept moving. “Every day, every night, that I didn’t fuck you, was like this little victory because it meant I loved you enough to let you go. It meant I loved you enough that I didn’t have to fuck you, to have you. I could let you have a real life, have Kelly, have Jack, have Parker and you wouldn’t have to deal with me. Because we both know that in love or not, I can’t make shit work out in my life. I can’t fix anything, I can’t be anything, and I sure as hell don’t deserve you. So every time I didn’t do it, didn’t kiss you, didn’t touch you, it was a victory. It was how I knew somewhere, somehow, I was still a good guy deep down.”

           Cas licked his lips. “Dean…”

           “Don’t say it.” Dean scrubbed a hand down his face. “Because now I’ve fucking done it and what does that mean? It means I can’t even fucking love you right.”

           Cas opened his mouth again but nothing came out.

           Dean shook his head. “Don’t say anything, okay? Just leave. Just forget about it. Just do all the hundred things you said you were going to do the morning after when you broke my fucking heart.”

           Silence. Then, in the smallest voice Dean had ever heard, “I didn’t mean to.”

           Dean chuckled. “Yeah. I know.”

           Cas took a step backwards, towards the door of the garage, then stopped. “Are we… I mean…” He took a deep breath. “Are we still friends?”

           “I don’t know, Cas.”

           After what felt like an eternity, Cas gave a curt nod and turned for the door. Dean turned away, unable to watch him leave. Instead, he stared at his knuckles going white around the edge of the tool bench and counted his breaths, counted his heartbeats, just to remind himself he was still alive.

When Cas got home, he felt like he didn’t exist anymore. He went through the motions of shrugging off his jacket, hanging up his keys, and dropping his briefcase. He even remembered to change out of the grocery store vest and put it in the closet. But the whole time he couldn’t feel his fingers, couldn’t remember the last thing he did, couldn’t form a coherent thought. He ended up staring at the wall until Jack came home.

           He stared at the wall until a knock came at the door to his bedroom. He forced himself to blink. He ran a hand through his hair. With a sigh, he said, “Come in.”

           Jack poked his head in. “You didn’t pick me up after practice.”

           “Sorry.” Cas shot his son a weak, apologetic smile. His eyes glazed over him, not really seeing him, and for a painful second, he wished he looked more like Kelly. Jack looked so much like him that sometimes it was like looking at photos of his younger self. And he supposed Jack not looking like Kelly was a blessing, less painful, but sometimes he wished he could see her more clearly in her son.

           Jack took a step into the room, twisting his fingers. “Are you all right?”

           “You don’t have to worry about me.”

           “I know. But I do.” Jack looked around the room. “Haven’t seen Parker today.”

           “He’s gone.”

           Jack nodded slowly, his eyes still wandering around the space. It looked the same to Cas – same golden yellow walls, same white floral comforter, same cherry wood furniture – but Jack said, “It seems emptier,” and for the first time, Cas thought about how much stuff Parker had. His cologne was gone from the dresser, his brushes, his sprays. The books and reading glasses and old water cups he left on the bedside table were gone. His jackets on the back of the door, his slacks laid neatly on the back of the green armchair, his stupid collection of hats that he never wore, all gone.

           Cas saw the room through new eyes, saw how little of it was him, saw what people must think of him. He was empty and aimless and he had no obsessions, no habits, no signs he lived in a place. How could anyone love someone like that? How could someone as animated and alive as Dean love someone like him?

           “I heard some of the fight last night,” Jack said.

           Cas narrowed his eyes at him. “How much?”

           Jack shrugged. “Have you talked to Dean yet?”

           “Yes.”

           “And?” Jack brightened, the one word filled with so much hope and joy and inflection that Cas’ heart broke a little.

           He shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He turned towards the dresser and looked in the mirror. He hated his reflection – the unshaven stubble, the dark circles under his eyes, the wrinkles creasing his forehead.

           “Why not?” Jack stepped forward. He still sounded happy. “If the baby is yours, if you slept with Dean—”

           “You heard what part of the conversation exactly?” Cas snapped, a little sharper than he intended.

           Jack barrelled forward. “I don’t see how this isn’t a good thing. You two are having a baby. You’re going to be a family, finally. How isn’t this a good thing?”

           “It doesn’t… work like that.”

           “Why not?”

           “Because we’re not together. Because we’re not in love.”

           “That’s just bullshit!” Jack shouted. He had the audacity to look outraged like Cas was hurting him, like Cas meant to do this to him. “You don’t love him? He practically lived here when I was a kid! I thought he was my goddamn dad!”

           “I’m sorry! How many fucking times do I have to tell you I’m sorry about that?” Cas felt the anger in his throat, in his stomach, like an acid eating away at his patience. He glared at his son, unable to control himself. “I’m sorry, Jack. I’m sorry that letting Dean stay here, that letting him help raise you, made you think he was your dad. He’s not. He’s never going to be.”

           “Why not?”

           “Because he’s not my boyfriend.”

           “You fucked him!”

           “Unfortunately the world isn’t that cut and dry, Jack! Unfortunately not everyone I’m attracted to or everyone I fuck is going to become your father. Unfortunately that’s not the way the world works.” Cas huffed out a breath. “And I’m sorry you’re attached to him and I’m sorry this hurts you and I’m sorry you’re confused, but throwing this little hissy fit isn’t going to change things. He’s not going to be coming around here anymore.”

           Jack scoffed. “What? You knock a guy up and then you’re just no longer his friend? You’d ditch him like that? It’s not his fucking fault you can’t be bothered to use a condom.”

           “It wasn’t like that,” Cas hissed.

           “Then what was it like? What happened? What could he have done to make you be so fucking awful to a man you claim is your best fucking friend? A man who helped raise me? A man you fucked for fun while in a relationship with someone else? Good fucking example there, too, Dad. I’ll make sure to keep that one in mind when I—”

           “Shut up!” Cas yelled. He took a step towards Jack but stopped himself when Jack scrambled backwards too fast. Cas bit down on his bottom lip too hard and felt the skin tear. “You wanna know what happened? Dean said he loves me. He’s always loved me.”

           Jack stared at him for a long moment. Deflated, he whispered, “Then what’s the problem?”

           “I don’t love him,” Cas said. “Not like that.”

           “Bullshit.”

           “It’s not… it’s not bullshit, Jack.” Cas heaved in a breath and took a gentler step towards his son. Jack still backed off, crossing his arms against his chest and curling in on himself. “I married your mother because I loved her. I still love and miss her. I asked Parker to move in because I loved him. I wish I didn’t still love him.” Cas tried to bite back a sob but didn’t quite manage it. “I slept with Dean because… because it’s felt like something that’s needed to happen for my whole life. He’s attractive. I care about him. We’re both into men but… I don’t love him. I don’t want to be with him.”

           “Even if he has your kid?” Jack’s voice broke.

           Cas wanted to reach out to him, to hug him, but he just nodded. This part of Kelly he recognized in his son – the need to physically separate herself from the thing causing her pain. “I’ll help out if he wants to keep it. But I’m not… I can’t be with Dean.”

           “Why not?”

           “We have different lives.” Cas could hear the weakness of his own argument. He could feel his heart breaking and cracking with every lie he told. Of course he loved Dean. Of course he wanted to be with him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m not in love with him. I never will be.”

           Jack broke into a sob and his back hit the wall. Cas tried to step toward him, to comfort him, but Jack scrambled out of the room before he even got close. He slammed the door behind him. And Cas stood still, stood frozen, trying to convince himself that he was still doing what was best for his kid, what was best for him, what was best for Dean.

           Dean had been right. Loving him and staying away from him was the best thing he ever did. And Cas knew the best thing he could do was pretend that he didn’t love him back and let the whole thing get swept under the rug. In a week, Dean would have someone new. In a month, Cas would put himself back out there. In less than a year, Jack would be off at college and he wouldn’t need two dads anymore. He wouldn’t need any at all.

Dean stared at the unopen beer on the counter. If he opened it, he was aborting the baby. If he didn’t, he was keeping it. He had been staring at it so long beads of condensation dripped down the glass leaving a neat ring on the kitchen counter.

           A knock came at his door. Dean frowned. The bell from the outer door hadn’t gone off and he hadn’t buzzed anyone in. It happened sometimes – the college kids who lived in the building had drunk friends who apparently couldn’t read damn numbers when their vision went blurry. Dean continued his staring contest with the beer.

           Then the knocking came more rapidly. Dean sighed and turned away, ready to give the kids directions to wherever their asshole friends really lived. But when he opened the door, it wasn’t a pack of drunk college students. It was Jack with a stuffed backpack and tears trailing down his cheeks.

           Before Dean could get a word out, Jack said, “Can I come in? There’s someone screaming down the hall.”

           Dean poked his head out and heard the echoes. He swore and ushered Jack into his apartment before shutting the door and locking it. “Don’t worry about it,” he said as he turned back to Jack. He swiped his hands over his lips. “It’s just Jerry. He’s a bit of a mental case.”

           “Shouldn’t he be in the hospital?”

           Dean shrugged. “Shouldn’t you be in school? Or…” He glanced up at the microwave clock, astounded by how much time he had wasted. The whole apartment was getting dark, the sun long gone, and Dean flicked a light switch. “At home?”

           “I ran away.”

           Dean snorted his laugh. He couldn’t quite make the actual sound as he reached for his phone. “Good move, kid. Run away to the one person guaranteed to call your dad the second you show up. Great plan.” His thumb flicked over to Cas’ name.

           “You’d still call him?” Jack said. “After everything?”

           Dean raised his eyes to look at the kid. He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re his kid and you ran away.”

           Jack shrugged. “He knocked you up and now you’re not speaking.”

           Dean locked his phone but kept it in the palm of his hand as his lips thinned into a line. He stared at Jack for a long moment. “How’d you know that?” he said. “Did he tell you?”

           “Sort of. I kinda just put it together.”

           Dean sighed. “Is that why you ran away?”

           “I guess.” Jack shifted from one foot to the other. “I just wanted to know what you two were gonna do about the baby and he started shouting at me, saying you’re not my father, that you two aren’t going to be together just because I want you to be, that he doesn’t love you.” Dean flinched and Jack added, “I don’t believe that last part.”

           Dean flipped his phone over in his hand. “He has a right to be mad. You can’t just make adults do what you want them to.”

           “Why not? They’re always trying to make me do what they want.”

           “Touché.”

           Jack looked around the room, his eyes wandering from one corner to the next, cataloguing the place. His eyes rested on the beer. “You know you can’t drink when you’re pregnant, right?”

           “I do.”

           “Can I have it then?”

           “And I’ll explain to Cas why you’re drunk?” Dean brushed past him and picked up the beer. He swung open the door to the fridge and placed it carefully inside. “Nice try, kid.”

           “Did you know my mom?”

           Dean turned to him, silent.

           “Dad never really talks about her,” Jack said. “Even after he sat me down and explained you weren’t my dad, that I had a mom, he never really… told me about her. I have those videos she made. I guess she was really sick when she was pregnant with me but… they’re mostly just her telling me I’m a good person, that she can feel it. I think she was… she was kinda losing it at that point.”

           “Yeah,” Dean said. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He thought Cas had had it a long time ago. Biting his bottom lip, he turned back to the fridge and brought the beer back out. He slid it across the counter to Jack. “Sit down.”

           Jack took a seat on one of the stools and fiddled with the beer. He didn’t open it or ask for a bottle opener as Dean paced the small kitchen space before settling to stand in front of Jack.

           “Kelly was a sweet girl,” Dean said. “A little religious, a little rebellious. A bit of a preacher’s daughter fantasy.” He swallowed hard and looked down at the counter. “Cas met her in a religious studies class and he loved her before he even knew her name. Said it felt like… destiny.”

           Jack placed his hand over Dean’s. “Is this hard for you to talk about?”

           Dean smiled and shook his head. “Kelly was the right person for your dad. She was happy and motivated and a little crazy. When she found out she was pregnant… she had named you before the timer was even up on the test. And then she started getting ready for you to come into the world before her first trimester was over, even though all the doctors told her not to. She was at high-risk for a miscarriage because of some family history. Cas was worried sick about her. He wanted… he begged her to rethink keeping you. Not because he didn’t want you but because he didn’t want to lose Kelly.”

           Jack swallowed hard. He pulled away, cracked the top of the beer, and said, “I didn’t know that,” before guzzling down a quarter of the bottle’s contents.

           Dean pulled the bottle away gently. “He loves you so fucking much, Jack. Kelly loved you more than anything in the world and Cas wouldn’t dare resent you when it wasn’t what she wanted.”

           Jack nodded shakily.

           “She was on bed rest by her fourth month of pregnancy. And by the fifth, she was talking about how you were a powerful prophet and the son of an angel.” Dean swallowed. “The psychiatrists couldn’t find the right mix of pills that put you at little enough risk that she would take them. By the last trimester, she was so sick she could barely move. She ate only because she knew you needed the nutrients. I… I spent every fucking night at your house because Kelly wouldn’t sleep and Cas couldn’t stop crying and it was the hardest fucking month of my life.”

           Dean blinked back the tears in his eyes. “When she died… you weren’t born yet. I know Cas always said she died in labour, after labour, whatever. But she died about a week before your due date. They cut you out of her.”

           Dean took Jack’s hand again and squeezed it tight. “Breathe,” he reminded him. “I didn’t stay to take care of you because I wanted to or Cas asked me to help. I mean, of course I wanted to, but… Cas wasn’t getting out of bed when you were crying. He couldn’t feed you. He was scared to touch you.”

           “He didn’t want me,” Jack whispered.

           “No. No, not at all.” Dean licked his lips, trying to think of the way to explain it, trying to remember how Cas had explained it to him. “He thought if… if he did it wrong, if he held you wrong, if he fed you wrong… he was terrified he was going to kill you. He was so scared to do it wrong because he knew Kelly had died for you. She loved you more than she loved herself and he wasn’t going to be able to forgive himself if he fucked you up, if he hurt you. So I bought him the books, showed him the YouTube tutorials, taught him how I raised Sam. And that’s why I didn’t leave before you were old enough to try to figure things out, old enough to think I was your dad, your family. Because Cas was scared. And I didn’t take care of Kelly, I didn’t protect her. I didn’t think I could. Maybe I couldn’t have. But I could protect you. I could stop Cas from losing you.”

           Dean’s throat felt dry and his eyes felt wet. He was aware he was gripping Jack’s fingers too tight but he couldn’t let them go. A weight had settled on his heart but it also felt like a different one had lifted.

           “You really do love him,” Jack said. “Don’t you?”

           “Of course.” Dean smiled. “I’m always going to love him.”

           “And you’re going to have his baby?”

           “Maybe.”

           Jack nodded. “I know you’re mad at him. I know you… can be mad at him. That you have a reason to be. But… I think you need to forgive him. I think you need to invite him in. I don’t think he’s going to come to the right conclusion on his own.”

           “And what’s the right conclusion?”

           “That he loves you. That he wants this.”

           Dean shook his head. “He doesn’t.”

           “He does.” Jack took another sip of the beer. “I think he’s just… he’s afraid you’re gonna replace my mom. I think that’s the only reason he asked you to leave in the first place.”

           Dean considered that. He’d never thought about it that way. He just thought he’d run out of usefulness, that Cas had stopped being scared, that Cas didn’t want his son thinking he was his dad. Slowly, Dean nodded and stood up to his full height, his hand slipping from Jack’s. “I’m gonna call him now.”

           “Okay.”

           “Don’t move.” Dean stepped out of the kitchen and hit Cas’ number. He held the phone to his ear and held his breath.

           “Dean,” Cas said, sounding relieved and stressed all at the same time. “Now’s not really a good time.” Doors slammed on the other end of the line. Floorboards creaked under Cas’ feet.

           “He’s here,” Dean said.

           “What?”

           “Jack.” Dean swallowed. “He’s here. He showed up… twenty minutes ago. I would have called sooner, I just—”

           “Fuck.” Cas let out a heavy breath. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Dean. I know you don’t… I mean, I know…” He groaned. “Look. I can be there in ten minutes to pick him up.”

           Dean hesitated. “Don’t.”

           “What?”

           “Look, every time my dad found Sam two seconds after he ran away, he wouldn’t stick around very long. Give the kid a while to cool off. He can crash on the couch.”

           “Are you sure?”

           “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning.” Dean hung up the phone before Cas could protest or apologize or thank him. Hearing Cas’ voice was hard enough right now without it being breathless and broken. He turned back into the kitchen to see Jack watching him, the beer in his hands but still nearly full.

           “Thanks,” Jack said, quiet. “I’ll stay out of your hair.”

           Dean shook his head. He stepped forward and tousled Jack’s hair. “For the record, kid, I really do wish I was your dad. I just don’t think it’s ever gonna happen.”

Cas’ hands shook as he hit the buzzer on Dean’s apartment building. It was early still – the sun had just come up and birds were singing – but Cas had to be at work in an hour and Jack needed to go to school. The door buzzed in return and he let out a sigh of relief – part of him hadn’t believed Dean would be awake this early.

           He made his way up the familiar staircase. The place hadn’t changed since he’d helped Dean move in eleven years ago. The same dings were still in the walls, plus a couple new ones. The lights still crackled overhead like a fire hazard waiting to happen. Cas resisted the urge to reach out and tighten a light bulb shaking in its socket; with his luck, he’d probably be electrocuted on the spot.

           He paused at Dean’s door. He remembered shutting it behind him that first night, pausing and realizing he’d made a huge mistake. What did Cas know about being a single father? What would he ever do without Dean? Had he really panicked so badly when Jack called Dean “dad” that he’d wanted him out of the house, out of his life, away from everything? Suddenly, Cas couldn’t make himself knock.

           The door flew open. Dean held up a hand to Cas before he even got a word out and said, “Look, I’m not gonna lie, I did a bad thing. But in my defence, your kid’s a fucking lightweight.”

           Cas blinked. “What?”

           “I let him have a beer and now he’s vomiting up his stomach contents like he got high on acid at a Pink Floyd concert.”

           Panic and silence and worry washed over Cas in a big wave. Then, despite himself, he laughed. “Really? One beer?”

           “He didn’t even finish it.”

           Cas laughed harder and leaned his weight into the door frame to hold himself up. Dean smiled back at him and for one, beautiful moment, Cas forgot how awkward this was supposed to be. He forgot what Dean had told him, that Jack had ran away from home, that he needed to get to work soon. He laughed until the sound left him, then took a deep breath and smiled. “You’re a horrible baby-sitter.”

           Dean shrugged. “I was the perfect baby-sitter when he was little. Now I can at least be the cool uncle.”

           “Parent,” Cas corrected. “You’re the cool parent.”

           Dean looked at him with something between confusion and sadness.

           “I’m sorry,” Cas said, “and not just for… knocking you up and abandoning you and then acting like it was some sort of stupid obligation to take care of you. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the credit for raising Jack. I’m sorry I was such a fucking mess after Kelly died. I’m… I’m sorry I ever asked you to move out.”

           Dean shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “It was the right move.” He glanced over his shoulder as if hoping Jack would appear and cut the conversation short.

           Cas hoped the opposite. “Have you made a decision? About the baby?”

           “Yeah.” Dean rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “I’m gonna keep it.”

           Cas nodded.

           “And, uh, ‘cause I guess you’re going to be around and all, and you’re my best friend, and this is really fucking stupid.” Dean took a deep breath and stepped back into the apartment. He gestured for Cas to come in and then closed the door behind them. Without looking back at Cas, without moving away from the door, he finished, “You can help out.”

           “It’s the least I can do,” Cas said, looking around like he’d never been in the apartment before. He just didn’t know where to look anymore. He didn’t know where was safe. “After all, you helped me out.”

           Dean smiled and Cas met his eyes. For a second, they were silent, just staring at each other, and then they fell over each other trying to apologize. Cas knew he was repeating himself, saying things he already said as he approached Dean again, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to hear Dean say he was sorry for what he said or what he did or how he was ruining his life. He wasn’t ruining his life. He never could. But he didn’t have the words for that.

           Cas took Dean in his arms and hugged him tight. The air went out of both of them – their words cut off short – and Cas breathed in the scent of him. For once, he smelled like soap instead of grease. He pulled him in tighter, loving the feel of his arms around him, and buried his face into the crook of Dean’s neck. When he closed his eyes, he felt like he could stand there forever.

           Jack cleared his throat.

           Cas pulled back to look at him and let a smile fall across his lips. He knew some smartass comment was on his son’s lips but instead of waiting for it, he stepped towards him and hugged him as well. He kissed the top of his head. “You had me worried sick.”

           Jack grumbled as he tried to push him off. “I’m still mad at you.”

           “I know,” Cas said. “I’ll make it up to you.”

           “Breakfast?” Jack said hopefully.

           Cas sighed. “You have school. I have work.”

           “Call in sick,” Dean said. He slapped Cas on the back and then pulled him close with one arm. He really did smell good. He looked better. Cas heard his stomach grumble. “We can go to that diner on the corner you like.”

           “Dad likes a diner?” Jack said.

           “Oh yeah,” Dean said. “It used to be the only place you’d fall asleep.”

           Jack smiled a little. “The place with the yellow walls and those fly-infested lights?”

           Cas nodded. “Yeah. That one.”

           “Seems unsanitary.”

           Cas and Dean laughed. With limited commotion, they all made it out the door and started the walk down the street. Jack chattered along the way, mostly to fill the air. Cas assumed it was because he didn’t want to talk about his punishment for running away from home. He didn’t mind. Sometimes, when Jack went on like this, he could imagine Kelly was still around, telling him all the facts he didn’t know at a rapid-fire pace.

           He felt his throat getting tight as he watched the back of Jack’s head. He was two or three feet in front of them, taking long strides on his short legs. Cas reached out and took Dean’s hand in his. He didn’t know why. Their fingers curled together and he squeezed. He thought, maybe, things would be okay.

Cas had thought Kelly’s pregnancy was bad. In reality, Kelly’s pregnancy had been bad for her. Dean’s pregnancy was bad for everyone. He called at two a.m. craving ice cream and too lazy to get out of bed. He spent a whole day reading pregnancy books and then would recite facts from them with Jack like they were both studying for a test. He had vitamin schedules and colour-coded charts for what should happen when – though Cas questioned whether Dean had made those himself or Sam had put them together on his computer. And every once in a while, when a request was too outlandish or Dean hesitated before getting the words out, he got the distinct impression Dean was fucking with him for the hell of it.

           At three months, Cas managed to get Dean to agree to move in. They moved him into the guest bedroom and transformed Parker’s old office into a nursery. And Cas continually woke up to Dean in his shower, shirtless Dean wandering the halls, midnight snack Dean in nothing but his boxers. And in love or not, Cas was only a man with eyes.

           Dean got really horny in his fifth month of pregnancy. Cas didn’t notice it at first – the looks and flirtatious greetings were par for the course with Dean, always had been – but then he met him in the kitchen at one a.m. And Dean leaned against his shoulder, his lips pressing kisses into the fabric of his t-shirt, and he looked up at Cas with puppy dog eyes. And Cas, being but a weak man with eyes, kissed him.

           For as long as they could, they kept it a secret from Jack. Sneaking around in his own house was something Cas was unwaveringly fond of. The stolen touches, the kisses, sneaking Dean into his bedroom late at night. He thought they were getting away from it until one night when they were watching a movie as a family and Dean put his head on his shoulder. Cas thought it was innocent enough until Jack said, “If you guys are gonna be gross, like always, leave the room.” Dean had laughed and given Cas a kiss while Jack faked disgust.

           Cas still felt a distance between them even as Dean’s belly grew, even when he woke to the soft look in his eyes, even when they traded lazy kisses before brushing their teeth. He felt the baby kick against the palm of his hand. He saw Jack happier than he ever had been. He still felt like something was missing.

           Braxton Hicks hit them early. Too early. Cas panicked and drove Dean to the hospital at five in the morning. He tried to argue with the doctor that he didn’t care they were Braxton Hicks contractions – Dean was only eight months along, something was wrong – but the doctor wouldn’t hear him. Dean kissed his neck and told him everything was fine, to just breathe, but the fear ate Cas up inside.

           He recognized this distance like a shot to the heart. As he drove home with Dean holding his hand, he was shaking. By the time he parked the car, he was crying. Without a word, Dean pulled him into his arms and kissed his hair, waiting in the silence for an explanation.

           All Cas could manage was, “I can’t lose you too.”

           “You’re not going to lose me,” Dean said but Cas knew he couldn’t promise that.

           Dean went into labour a week early. Cas kept himself together long enough to get to the hospital, to hand him over to the doctors, and then he left the room immediately. His legs gave out under him and he started to cry in earnest. Footsteps approached him but he didn’t look up. A body settled beside him and then Jack’s hands curled over his.

           “It’s going to be okay,” Jack whispered.

           Cas shook his head. “You don’t know that.”

           “You know,” Jack said, “mom would want us to pray.”

           Cas started crying harder and Jack began to mutter a prayer under his breath, keeping the words steady and clear. He pressed his fingers harder against Cas’ hands until Cas caught his breath and started to speak the words with him. Slowly, his breath steadied and the words came easier, rhythmically, to his tongue. When they finished, Jack said, “Amen,” then added, “Mom? Please help us keep Dean.”

           Cas turned his head and kissed Jack’s temple hard, pulling his son into his side as he cried.

           Soon, they went in to see Dean who was swearing at the nurses while eating ice chips. When he saw Cas, he said, “Babe, please tell them I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

           Cas chuckled and took his hand. “You can’t eat now.”

           “Fuck you.”

           Cas leaned down and kissed him. He felt calm spread through him and he whispered, “I love you.”

           Dean stared at him for a long moment. Surprise was evident in his features, the fight gone out of him for a moment. Then the contractions hit and he was swearing again and he bit out, “Do you really think now is the best fucking time to tell me that? Couldn’t have done it a week ago? A month ago? When I got pregnant with your stupid baby?”

           Cas laughed.

           “Don’t laugh at me,” Dean bit out.

           “Breathe,” Cas said.

           Jack imitated the Lamaze breathing and slowly, begrudgingly, Dean copied it. When the contraction passed, he leaned back into the bed and closed his eyes. “I love you, too,” he whispered. Cas kissed him again.

           Two days passed with Dean in labour. Cas alternated between sleeping half on Dean’s bed and dozing in the waiting room with Jack. They ate shitty cafeteria food and listened to Dean complain about ice chips. Jack went home to grab clothes and magazines and his laptop. Sam showed up halfway through Day Two with cigars for when the baby was born. Dean laughed even as Cas frowned at both of them and then sternly told Jack he was not allowed to smoke.

           “Come on,” Dean whined. “Just one, babe. For the baby.”

           “No,” Cas said. “That’s stupid.”

           Then Dean kissed him and nothing felt all that stupid anymore.

           The birth went smoothly – or as smoothly as it could go with Dean swearing at everyone and crushing Cas’ fingers in his hand – but both parent and baby were safe, happy, and healthy. Cas cried for an hour after the doctor told him everything was fine and Jack brought him back with prayers, thanking Kelly for helping them out.

           Cas went in to see Dean and their new baby girl. Dean looked up at him with a soft smile and shifted to let Cas sit beside him on the bed. Cas curled up next to him, leaned against his shoulder, needing contact, needing to make sure that Dean was real, that he was alive. He felt the final pieces of the wall break away, the last of the distance between them snap. He reached out and smoothed down the few strands of thin blonde hair on his daughter’s head. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you both.”

           Dean kissed the side of his head. “I love you both, too.”

           “What are we going to call her?”

           “Hear me out,” Dean whispered. Cas looked into his eyes, saw the soft smile on his face. “You see, I had this sense during my pregnancy, every time anything went wrong, that Kelly was watching over us. That she didn’t want anything bad to happen to you ever again. And I thought, since she did that for us, maybe we could name the baby after her.”

           Cas couldn’t blink through his tears. He tried but everything remained blurry. Not trusting his voice, he nodded and pressed a kiss to Dean’s shoulder.

           “Kelly,” Dean repeated softly. He pulled the baby closer, kissed the top of her head. “Welcome to the family.”

[omgfucktheworld]

Songs.

1.) The A Team - Ed Sheeran (S) 2.) A.Y.D. - Cass McCombs (H) 3.) Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) - Aaron Carter (H) 4.) About a Girl - The Academy Is... (H) 5.) Absolutely (Story of a Girl) - Nine Days (H) 6.) Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows (H) 7.) Addicted - Simple Plan (S) 8.) Adore You - Miley Cyrus (S) 9.) Adorn - Miguel (H) 10.) The Adventure - Angels & Airwaves (H) 11.) Adventure of a Lifetime - Coldplay (H) 12.) After Tonight - Justin Nozuka (H) 13.) Again - Lenny Kravitz (S) 14.) AiCarumba - Telana (S) 15.) Ain’t It Fun - Paramore (H) 16.) Ain’t It Funny - Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule & Cadillac (H) 17.) Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell (H) 18.) Ain’t No Other Man - Christina Aguilera (H) 19.) Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now - McFadden & Whitehead (H) 20.) Alejandro - Lady Gaga (H) 21.) Alive - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 22.) Alive - Empire of the Sun (H) 23.) Alive With the Glory of Love - Say Anything (H) 24.) All At Once - The Fray (S) 25.) All Downhill from Here - New Found Glory (H) 26.) All Falls Down - Kanye West (H) 27.) All for You - Janet Jackson (H) 28.) All I Ask - Adele (S) 29.) All I Can Think About Is You - Coldplay (S) 30.) All I Do Is Win - DJ Khaled (H) 31.) All I Have - Jennifer Lopez (H) 32.) All I Wanna Do - Jakob Ogawa (H) 33.) All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow (H) 34.) All I Want - Kodaline (S) 35.) All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey (H) 36.) All Me - Drake (H) 37.) All My Life - K-Ci & JoJo (S) 38.) All of the Lights - Kanye West (H) 39.) All Star - Smash Mouth (H) 40.) All the Right Moves - OneRepublic (H) 41.) All the Small Things - Blink 182 (H) 42.) All The Stars - Kendrick Lamar & SZA (H) 43.) All Those Nights - Chase Coy (S) 44.) All Those Pretty Lights - Andrew Belle (H) 45.) All Time Low - Jon Bellion (H) 46.) All You Wanted - Michelle Branch (S) 47.) All Your Love - Jakob Ogawa (H) 48.) Alone - Halsey (H) 49.) Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson (S) 50.) Alright - Kendrick Lamar (H) 51.) Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey (S) 52.) Always Love - Nada Surf (H) 53.) Always On Time - Ja Rule (H) 54.) Am I Wrong - Nico & Vinz (H) 55.) American Beauty - Thomas Newman (S) 56.) American Boy - Estelle (H) 57.) Amphetamine - Smino (H) 58.) Anaconda - Nicki Minaj (H) 59.) Angel - Akon (H) 60.) Angel - Amanda Perez (S) 61.) Angel - Natasha Bedingfield (H) 62.) Angel - Shaggy (H) 63.) Animal - Neon Trees (H) 64.) Annie - Safetysuit (H) 65.) Another Day - Kirby (S) 66.) The Anthem - Good Charlotte (H) 67.) Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band (H) 68.) Any Other Day - Wyclef Jean feat. Norah Jones (H) 69.) Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches (S) 70.) Apparently - J.Cole (H) 71.) Are You Bored Yet? - Wallows feat. Clairo (H) 72.) Are You Gonna Be My Girl - Jet (H) 73.) Are You Happy Now? - Michelle Branch (H) 74.) Are You That Somebody - Aaliyah (H) 75.) As If - Blaque (H) 76.) As Long as You Love Me - Backstreet Boys (S) 77.) Asleep - The Smiths (S) 78.) Ass Back Home - Gym Class Heroes feat. Neon Hitch (H) 79.) Ass Like That - Eminem (H) 80.) At Least We Made It This Far - Relient K (H) 81.) At The Beginning - Donna Lewis (H) 82.) Atlas Hands - Benjamin Francis Leftwich (S) 83.) Attention - Charlie Puth (H) 84.) Autobiography - Ashlee Simpson (H) 85.) Avant Gardener - Courtney Barnett (H) 86.) Ave Maria - Beyonce (S)

87.) B.O.M.D. - Clairo feat. Danny L Harle (H) 88.) Baby Boy - Beyonce feat. Sean Paul (H) 89.) Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot (H) 90.) Baby It’s You - JoJo (H) 91.) ...Baby One More Time - Britney Spears (H) 92.) Baby, I’m Back - Baby Bash feat. Akon (H) 93.) Baby, It’s Fact - Hellogoodbye (H) 94.) Baby, This Love I Have - Minnie Riperton (H) 95.) Back At One - Brian McKnight (S) 96.) Back Here - BBMak (H) 97.) Back in Time - Pitbull (H) 98.) Back That Azz Up - Juvenile (H) 99.) Back to December - Taylor Swift (S) 100.) Bad - Michael Jackson (H) 101.) Bad at Love - Halsey (H) 102.) Bad Day - Daniel Powter (S) 103.) Bad Romance - Lady Gaga (H) 104.) Bags - Clairo (H) 105.) Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson (H) 106.) Bang Bang - will.i.am (H) 107.) Barbie Girl - Aqua (H) 108.) Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik (H) 109.) Bartender - T-Pain feat. Akon (H) 110.) A Bay Bay - Hurricane Chris (H) 111.) BB Talk - Miley Cyrus (S) 112.) Be a Model - Mr. Capone-E (H) 113.) Be Alright - Ariana Grande (H) 114.) Be Good to Me - Ashley Tisdale (H) 115.) Be My Escape - Relient K (H) 116.) Be OK - Ingrid Michaelson (H) 117.) Be Without You - Mary J. Blige (H) 118.) Beat It - Michael Jackson (H) 119.) Beautiful - Christina Aguilera (S) 120.) Beautiful - Eminem (S) 121.) Beautiful - Akon feat. Colby O’Donis & Kardinal Offishall (H) 122.) Beautiful - Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrell & Uncle Charlie Wilson (H) 123.) Beautiful - Patrick Nuo (H) 124.) Beautiful Day - U2 (H) 125.) Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston (H) 126.) Beautiful Love - The Afters (H) 127.) Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney (H) 128.) Beauty and a Beat - Justin Bieber feat. Nicki Minaj (H) 129.) Because of You - Kelly Clarkson (S) 130.) Because of You - Ne-Yo (H) 131.) Because of You - 98 Degrees (S) 132.) Because You Live - Jesse McCartney (H) 133.) Bed - J. Holiday (H) 134.) Beggin’ - Madcon (H) 135.) Begin Again - Colbie Caillat (H) 136.) Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson (S) 137.) Believe - Cher (H) 138.) Believer - Imagine Dragons (H) 139.) Bennie and the Jets - Elton John (H) 140.) Best Day of My Life - American Authors (H) 141.) Best Days - Matt White (H) 142.) Best Friend - Foster the People (H) 143.) Best Friend - Rex Orange County (H) 144.) Best I Ever Had - Drake (H) 145.) Best of My Love - The Emotions (H) 146.) Best of You - Foo Fighters (H) 147.) Best Song Ever - One Direction (H) 148.) The Best Thing - Relient K (H) 149.) Better - Khalid (H) 150.) Better - SG Lewis & Clairo (H) 151.) Better Days - The Goo Goo Dolls (S) 152.) Better in Time - Leona Lewis (S) 153.) Better Now - Post Malone (H) 154.) Better Off Alone - Alice Deejay (H) 155.) A Better Place, A Better Time - Streetlight Manifesto (H) 156.) Better Than Her - Matisse (H) 157.) Better That We Break - Maroon 5 (S) 158.) Better Together - Jack Johnson (H) 159.) Between Me and You - Ja Rule feat. Christina Milian (H) 160.) Beverly Hills - Weezer (H) 161.) Beware - Big Sean (H) 162.) Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie (S) 163.) Big Love - Fleetwood Mac (H) 164.) Big Poppa - The Notorious B.I.G. (H) 165.) Big Shit Poppin’ - T.I. (H) 166.) Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows feat. Vanessa Carlton (H) 167.) Bigcitydreams - Never Shout Never (H) 168.) Bigger Than My Body - John Mayer (H) 169.) Birthday - Katy Perry (H) 170.) Birthday Cake - Rihanna (H) 171.) Birthday Sex - Jeremih (H) 172.) Bitch - Meredith Brooks (H) 173.) Bitch Better Have My Money - Rihanna (H) 174.) Black & Gold - Sam Sparro (H) 175.) Black Balloon - The Goo Goo Dolls (S) 176.) Black Horse and the Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall (H) 177.) Black Skinhead - Kanye West (H) 178.) Blame - Calvin Harris feat. John Newman (H) 179.) Blame It - Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain (H) 180.) Blame It On Me - Parachute (H) 181.) Blindfold - Morcheeba (S) 182.) Blood - The Middle East (H) 183.) Blood On the Leaves - Kanye West (H) 184.) The Blower’s Daughter - Damien Rice (S) 185.) Blue (Da Ba Dee) - Eiffel 65 (H) 186.) Blurry - Puddle of Mudd (S) 187.) Boats & Birds - Gregory and The Hawk (S) 188.) Bodak Yellow - Cardi B (H) 189.) Body Language - Jesse McCartney (H) 190.) Body Party - Ciara (H) 191.) Bodybag - Hit the Lights (H) 192.) Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen (H) 193.) Bomb Intro/Pass That Dutch - Missy Elliot (H) 194.) Boogie Oogie Oogie - A Taste of Honey (H) 195.) Boogie Wonderland - Earth, Wind & Fire (H) 196.) Bookstore - Jon Brion (S) 197.) Boom Clap - Charli XCX (H) 198.) Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!! - Vengaboys (H) 199.) Boombastic - Shaggy (H) 200.) Bootylicious - Destiny’s Child (H) 201.) The Boss - Rick Ross feat. T-Pain (H) 202.) Bossy - Kelis feat. Too $hort (H) 203.) Bottoms Up - Trey Songz feat. Nicki Minaj (H) 204.) Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day (S) 205.) Bound 2 - Kanye West (H) 206.) Bow Chicka Wow Wow - Mike Posner (H) 207.) Boyfriend - Big Time Rush (H) 208.) Break Free - Ariana Grande feat. Zedd (H) 209.) Break It Off - Rihanna (H) 210.) Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder (H) 211.) Break the Ice - Britney Spears (H) 212.) Break Through - Colbie Caillat (H) 213.) Break Up - Mario feat. Gucci Mane (H) 214.) Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson (S) 215.) Breakeven - The Script (S) 216.) Breakin’ Dishes - Rihanna (H) 217.) Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park (S) 218.) Breathe - Faith Hill (H) 219.) Breathe - Michelle Branch (H) 220.) Breathe (2 AM) - Anna Nalick (S) 221.) Breathe - Taylor Swift feat. Colbie Caillat (S) 222.) Breathe Again - Jimmy Robbins (S) 223.) Breathe Me - Sia (S) 224.) Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung (H) 225.) Bring Em Out - T.I. (H) 226.) Bring It All To Me - Blaque (H) 227.) Bringin’ Da Noise - *NSYNC (H) 228.) Broccoli - Dram feat. Lil Yachty (H) 229.) Broken - Lifehouse (S) 230.) Broken - lovelytheband (H) 231.) Broken Clocks - SZA (H) 232.) Brokenhearted - Karmin (H) 233.) Bubble Gum - Clairo (S) 234.) Bubble Pop Electric - Gwen Stefani (H) 235.) Bubbly - Colbie Caillat (H) 236.) Budapest - George Ezra (H) 237.) Built This Way - Samantha Ronson (S) 238.) Bulletproof - La Roux (H) 239.) Bump n’ Grind - R. Kelly (H) 240.) Bump, Bump, Bump - B2K feat. P. Diddy (H) 241.) Burn - Usher (S) 242.) Burnin’ Up - Jonas Brothers (H) 243.) The Business - Yung Berg feat. Casha (H) 244.) Bust It Baby, Pt. 2 - Plies feat. Ne-Yo (H) 245.) Butterfly - Crazy Town (H) 246.) Buttons - The Pussycat Dolls (H) 247.) Buy U a Drank - T-Pain (H) 248.) Bye Bye Bye - *NSYNC (H)

249.) Cake by the Ocean - DNCE (H) 250.) Calabria 2008 - Enur feat. MIMS (H) 251.) California - Phantom Planet (H) 252.) California Gurls - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg (H) 253.) California Love - 2Pac feat. Roger Troutman & Dr. Dre (H) 254.) Call It What You Want - Foster the People (H) 255.) Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen (H) 256.) Calling All Angels - Train (H) 257.) Came Out of a Lady - Rubblebucket (H) 258.) Cameltoe - Fannypack (H) 259.) Can’t Believe It - T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne (H) 260.) Can’t Buy Happiness - Tash Sultana (S) 261.) Can’t Fight the Moonlight - LeAnn Rimes (H) 262.) Can’t Get Enough of You Baby - Smash Mouth (H) 263.) Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Babe - Barry White (H) 264.) Can’t Get You Out of My Head - Kylie Minogue (H) 265.) Can’t Help But Wait - Trey Songz (H) 266.) Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley (S) 267.) Can’t Hold Us - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Ray Dalton (H) 268.) Can’t Hold Us Down - Christina Aguilera feat. Lil’ Kim (H) 269.) Can’t Let You Go - Fabolous feat. Mike Shorey & Lil’ Mo (H) 270.) Can’t Stand It - Never Shout Never (H) 271.) Can’t Stop the Feeling - Justin Timberlake (H) 272.) Can’t Take My Eyes Off You - Frankie Valli (H) 273.) Can’t Tell Me Nothing - Kanye West (H) 274.) Candy - The Pack (H) 275.) Canned Heat - Jamiroquai (H) 276.) Careless Whisper - George Michael (H) 277.) Caroline - Amine (H) 278.) Carried Away - Passion Pit (H) 279.) Case of the Ex (Whatcha Gonna Do) - Mya (H) 280.) Case Study B - Jenny O. (S) 281.) Castle on the Hill - Ed Sheeran (H) 282.) Catch Me - Demi Lovato (H) 283.) Catch Your Wave - The Click Five (H) 284.) Caught Up - Usher (H) 285.) Cellar Door - Michael Andrews (S) 286.) Centuries - Fall Out Boy (H) 287.) The Chain - Fleetwood Mac (H) 288.) Chain Hang Low - Jibbs (H) 289.) Chains - Nick Jonas (H) 290.) Chandelier - Sia (H) 291.) Changes - 2Pac feat. Talent (H) 292.) Chariot - Gavin DeGraw (H) 293.) Charlie Brown - Coldplay (H) 294.) Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol (S) 295.) Chasing Pavements - Adele (S) 296.) Cheap Thrills - Sia feat. Sean Paul (H) 297.) Check On It - Beyonce feat. Bun B & Slim Thug (H) 298.) Cheerleader - Omi (H) 299.) Cigarette Daydreams - Cage the Elephant (S) 300.) Circus - Britney Spears (H) 301.) Clarity - John Mayer (H) 302.) Clarity - Zedd feat. Foxes (H) 303.) Classic - MKTO (H) 304.) Cleanin’ Out My Closet - Eminem (H) 305.) The Climb - Miley Cyrus (H) 306.) Clocks - Coldplay (H) 307.) Closer - The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey (H) 308.) Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls (H) 309.) Club Can’t Handle Me - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta (H) 310.) Clumsy - Fergie (H) 311.) Cockiness - Rihanna (H) 312.) CoCo - O.T. Genasis (H) 313.) Collide - Howie Day (S) 314.) Colorblind - Counting Crows (S) 315.) Come and Get Your Love - Redbone (H) 316.) Come As You Are - Nirvana (H) 317.) Come Back Down - Greg Laswell feat. Sara Bareilles (H) 318.) Come Back to Me - Vanessa Hudgens (H) 319.) Come Clean - Hilary Duff (H) 320.) Come Fly With Me - Frank Sinatra (H) 321.) Come On Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runners (H) 322.) Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson (H) 323.) Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You) - Christina Aguilera (H) 324.) Come Thru - Drake (H) 325.) Come With Me Now - KONGOS (H) 326.) Coming of Age - Foster the People (H) 327.) Communion Cups & Someone’s Coat - Iron & Wine (S) 328.) Complicated - Avril Lavigne (S) 329.) Conducta - Osquello feat. Clairo (H) 330.) Confessions, Pt. II - Usher (H) 331.) Cool - Gwen Stefani (S) 332.) Cool for the Summer - Demi Lovato (H) 333.) Cool Kids - Echosmith (H) 334.) Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner (H) 335.) Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex (H) 336.) Cough Syrup - Young the Giant (H) 337.) Countdown - Beyonce (H) 338.) Country Grammar (Hot Shit) - Nelly (H) 339.) Crack a Bottle - Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent (H) 340.) Crank That - Soulja Boy (H) 341.) Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band (H) 342.) Crazy - Gnarls Barkley (H) 343.) Crazy - K-Ci & JoJo (S) 344.) Crazy for This Girl - Evan & Jaron (H) 345.) Crazy for You - Madonna (H) 346.) Crazy in Love - Beyonce feat. Jay-Z (H) 347.) Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen (H) 348.) Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags) - Afroman (H) 349.) Creep - TLC (H) 350.) Cruise - Florida Georgia Line feat. Nelly (H) 351.) Crush - Dave Matthews Band (H) 352.) Cry Baby - CeeLo Green (H) 353.) Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake (H) 354.) Cudi Zone - Kid Cudi (H) 355.) Cupid’s Chokehold - Gym Class Heroes feat. Patrick Stump (H) 356.) Cups (When I’m Gone) - Anna Kendrick (H) 357.) Curl Up and Die - Relient K (S) 358.) The Curse of Curves - Cute Is What We Aim For (H) 359.) Cyclone - Baby Bash feat. T-Pain (H)

360.) D.A.N.C.E. - Justice (H) 361.) Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood (S) 362.) Damaged - Danity Kane (H) 363.) Dance (A$$) - Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj (H) 364.) Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy (H) 365.) Dancin’ Across the USA - Lindsey Buckingham (H) 366.) Dancing In the Dark - Rihanna (H) 367.) Dancing In the Moonlight - Toploader (H) 368.) Dancing Queen - ABBA (H) 369.) Dancing with a Stranger - Sam Smith & Normani (H) 370.) Dang! - Mac Miller feat. Anderson .Paak (H) 371.) Dangerous - Kardinal Offishall feat. Akon (H) 372.) Dangerous - Ying Yang Twins feat. Wyclef Jean (H) 373.) Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers (H) 374.) Dare You to Move - Switchfoot (H) 375.) Dark Blue - Jack’s Mannequin (H) 376.) Dark Horse - Katy Perry feat. Juicy J (H) 377.) Daughters - John Mayer (S) 378.) Daylight - Maroon 5 (H) 379.) Dead and Gone - T.I. feat. Justin Timberlake (H) 380.) dead girl in the pool. - girl in red (H) 381.) Dear Child (I’ve Been Dying to Reach You) - Anthony Green (H) 382.) Dear John - Taylor Swift (S) 383.) Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low (H) 384.) December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night) - The Four Seasons (H) 385.) Deja-Vu - Beyonce (H) 386.) Demons - Imagine Dragons (S) 387.) Diamonds - Rihanna (H) 388.) Did It Hurt? - Never Shout Never (H) 389.) Die Young - Kesha (H) 390.) Differences - Ginuwine (H) 391.) Dilemma - Nelly feat. Kelly Rowland (H) 392.) Dip It Low - Christina Milian (H) 393.) Dirrty - Christina Aguilera feat. Redman (H) 394.) Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay-Z (H) 395.) Dirty Little Secret - The All-American Rejects (H) 396.) Disappear - Beyonce (H) 397.) Disco Club - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 398.) Disco Inferno - 50 Cent (H) 399.) Disturbia - Rihanna (H) 400.) Diva - Beyonce (H) 401.) DJ Got Us Fallin’ in Love - Usher feat. Pitbull (H) 402.) DNA. - Kendrick Lamar (H) 403.) Do It to It - Cherish feat. Sean Paul (H) 404.) Do My Thang - Miley Cyrus (H) 405.) Do You Know? (The Ping Pong Song) - Enrique Iglesias (H) 406.) Do You Realize?? - The Flaming Lips (H) 407.) Do You Remember - Jay Sean feat. Sean Paul (H) 408.) Doesn’t Really Matter - Janet Jackson (H) 409.) Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine (H) 410.) Doing Too Much - Paula DeAnda feat. Baby Bash (H) 411.) Domino - Jessie J (H) 412.) Don’t - Bryson Tiller (H) 413.) Don’t Be So Hard - The Audition (H) 414.) Don’t Cha - The Pussycat Dolls (H) 415.) Don’t Forget - Demi Lovato (H) 416.) Don’t Know Why - Norah Jones (H) 417.) Don’t Let Me Down - The Chainsmokers feat. Daya (H) 418.) Don’t Let Me Get Me - P!nk (H) 419.) Don’t Lie - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 420.) Don’t Make Me Wait - This World Fair (S) 421.) Don’t Matter - Akon (H) 422.) Don’t Mess With My Man - Nivea (H) 423.) Don’t Panic - Coldplay (S) 424.) Don’t Phunk With My Heart - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 425.) Don’t Speak - No Doubt (H) 426.) Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough - Michael Jackson (H) 427.) Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen (H) 428.) Don’t Stop The Music - Rihanna (H) 429.) Don’t Tell ‘Em - Jeremih feat. YG (H) 430.) Don’t Think I’m Not - Kandi (H) 431.) Don’t Trust Me - 3OH!3 (H) 432.) Don’t Wake Me Up - Chris Brown (H) 433.) Don’t Wanna Go Home - Jason Derulo (H) 434.) Don’t Wanna Know - Maroon 5 feat. Kendrick Lamar (H) 435.) Don’t You Know You’re Beautiful - Seabird (H) 436.) Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing - Stevie Wonder (H) 437.) Donk - Soulja Boy (H) 438.) Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill (H) 439.) Down - Chris Brown feat. Kanye West (H) 440.) Down - Jay Sean feat. Lil Wayne (H) 441.) Draw Your Swords - Angus & Julia Stone (S) 442.) Dreamgirl - Dave Matthews Band (H) 443.) Dreaming With a Broken Heart - John Mayer (S) 444.) Dreams - The Cranberries (H) 445.) Dreams - Fleetwood Mac (H) 446.) Drew Barrymore - Bryce Vine (H) 447.) Drew Barrymore - SZA (H) 448.) Drift Away - Uncle Kracker (H) 449.) Drive - Incubus (H) 450.) A Drop In the Ocean - Ron Pope (S) 451.) Drop It Like It’s Hot - Snoop Doggg feat. Pharrell (H) 452.) Drop That - Nifty (H) 453.) Drops of Jupiter - Train (H) 454.) Drown - Cuco & Clairo (H) 455.) Drunk in Love - Beyonce feat. Jay-Z (H) 456.) Drunk In the Morning - Lukas Graham (H) 457.) Drunk on Halloween - Wallows (H) 458.) Dynamite - Taio Cruz (H)

459.) E.I. - Nelly (H) 460.) Easier To Be - Lifehouse (H) 461.) Easy - The Commodores (H) 462.) Easy to Fall In Love - Brighten (H)  463.) Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks (H) 464.) Eenie Meenie - Justin Bieber & Sean Kingston (H) 465.) Ego - Beyonce (H) 466.) Elastic Heart - Sia (H) 467.) Electric Feel - MGMT (H) 468.) Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys (H) 469.) Enchanted - Taylor Swift (S) 470.) Erase Me - Kid Cudi & Kanye West (H) 471.) Escapade - Janet Jackson (H) 472.) Escape - Enrique Iglesias (H) 473.) Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes (H) 474.) Every Breath You Take - The Police (H) 475.) Every Girl In the World - Young Money (H) 476.) Every Good Thing - The Afters (H) 477.) Every Morning - Sugar Ray (H) 478.) Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall - Coldplay (H) 479.) Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) - Backstreet Boys (H) 480.) Everybody Talks - Neon Trees (H) 481.) Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears (H) 482.) Everybody’s Changing - Keane (S) 483.) Everyday Is a Winding Road - Sheryl Crow (H) 484.) Everyone Falls In Love - Tanto Metro & Devonte (H) 485.) Everything - Lifehouse (S) 486.) Everything I Ask For - The Maine (H) 487.) Everything in Its Right Place - Radiohead (S) 488.) Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack (H) 489.) Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon (H) 490.) Everything’s Not Lost - Coldplay (S) 491.) Everytime We Touch - Cascada (H) 492.) Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac (H) 493.) Everywhere - Michelle Branch (H) 494.) Ex’s & Oh’s - Mia Love (H)

495.) Fuckin’ Problems - A$AP Rocky feat. Drake, 2 Chainz & Kendrick L (H) 496.) Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (S) 497.) Fade into You - Mazzy Star (S) 498.) Faded - Soul Decision (H) 499.) Faerytails - Telena (S) 500.) Faith - George Michael (H) 501.) Fake Love - Drake (H) 502.) Fall to Pieces - Avril Lavigne (S) 503.) Fallin’ - Asher Roth (H) 504.) Fallin’ Apart - The All-American Rejects (H) 505.) Fallin’ For You - Colbie Caillat (H) 506.) Falling - Iration (H) 507.) Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop - Landon Pigg (S) 508.) Family Affair - Mary J. Blige (H) 509.) Family Portrait - P!nk (S) 510.) Fancy - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX (H) 511.) Fantasy - Mariah Carey (H) 512.) Far Away - Nickelback (S) 513.) Fast Car - Tracy Chapman (S) 514.) Fast Talk - Houses (H) 515.) Father Stretch My Hands, Pt. 1 - Kanye West (H) 516.) Fear of Flying - A Rocket to the Moon (H) 517.) Fearless - Taylor Swift (H) 518.) February Air - Lights (H) 519.) Feedback - Janet Jackson (H) 520.) Feel Again - OneRepublic (H) 521.) Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz (H) 522.) Feel I Bring - Aer (H) 523.) Feel It Still - Portugal. The Man (H) 524.) Feel So Close - Calvin Harris (H) 525.) Feel This Moment - Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera (H) 526.) Feelin’ Way Too Damn Good - Nickelback (H) 527.) Feeling Good - Michael Buble (H) 528.) Feels - Calvin Harris feat. Pharrell, Katy Perry & Big Sean (H) 529.) Feels Like Tonight - Daughtry (S) 530.) Fergalicious - Fergie feat. Will.I.Am (H) 531.) Fifteen - Taylor Swift (S) 532.) Fighter - Christina Aguilera (H) 533.) The Fighter - Keith Urban feat. Carrie Underwood (H) 534.) The Fighter - Gym Class Heroes feat. Ryan Tedder (H) 535.) Find Your Love - Drake (H) 536.) Finesse - Bruno Mars (H) 537.) Firework - Katy Perry (H) 538.) First - Cold War Kids (H) 539.) The First Cut Is the Deepest - Sheryl Crow (S) 540.) First Time - Lifehouse (H) 541.) Five Colours In Her Hair - McFly (H) 542.) Fix You - Coldplay (S) 543.) Fjogur Piano - Sigur Ros (S) 544.) Flaming Hot Cheetos - Clairo (S) 545.) Flashing Lights - Kanye West (H) 546.) Fly - Sugar Ray & Super Cat (H) 547.) Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra (H) 548.) Follow Me - Uncle Kracker (S) 549.) Foolish - Ashanti (H) 550.) For All Time - Soluna (S) 551.) For the First Time - The Script (H) 552.) For You I Will (Confidence) - Teddy Geiger (H) 553.) Forever - Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem (H) 554.) Forever & Always - Taylor Swift (H) 555.) Forever & Always (Piano Version) - Taylor Swift (S) 556.) forget her - girl in red (S) 557.) Formation - Beyonce (H) 558.) Free Fallin’ - John Mayer (S) 559.) Freak-A-Leek - Petey Pablo (H) 560.) Friday I’m In Love - The Cure (H) 561.) Friday Night Lights Theme Song - (S) 562.) From This Moment On - Shania Twain feat. Bryan White (S) 563.) From Time - Drake feat. Jhene Aiko (H) 564.) Frontin’ - Pharrell feat. Jay-Z (H) 565.) Froyo - Hans. feat. Clairo & Aso (S) 566.) Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back) - Eamon (S) 567.) Fuck You - CeeLo Green (H) 568.) Furthest Thing - Drake (H)

569.) The Game of Love - Santana feat. Michelle Branch (H) 570.) Gangsta Lovin’ - Eve feat. Alicia Keys (H) 571.) Garden (Say It Like Dat) - SZA (H) 572.) Gemini Love (Kinobe Remix) - Shibumi & Telana (H) 573.) Get Buck In Here - DJ Felli Fel feat. Akon, Lil’ Jon, Ludacris & Diddy (H) 574.) Get Busy - Sean Paul (H) 575.) Get Down On It - Kool & The Gang (H) 576.) Get Down Saturday Night - Oliver Cheatham (H) 577.) Get It On Tonite - Montell Jordan (H) 578.) Get It Poppin’ - Fat Joe feat. Nelly (H) 579.) Get It Shawty - Lloyd (H) 580.) Get Like Me - David Banner feat. Chris Brown (H) 581.) Get Low - Lil’ Jon & The Easy Side Boyz & Ying Yang Twins (H) 582.) Get Lucky - Daft Punk feat. Pharrell (H) 583.) Get Me Bodied - Beyonce (H) 584.) Get Right - Jennifer Lopez (H) 585.) Get the Party Started - P!nk (H) 586.) Get Up - Ciara (H) 587.) Get Ur Freak On - Missy Elliott (H) 588.) Get With U - Clairo (S) 589.) Getting Into You - Relient K (S) 590.) Ghost - Ella Henderson (H) 591.) Gigolo - Nick Cannon feat. R. Kelly (H) 592.) Gimme More - Britney Spears (H) 593.) Gimme That - Chris Brown (H) 594.) Gimme the Light - Sean Paul (H) 595.) Girl - Brennan Henderson feat. Clairo (S) 596.) The Girl from Ipanema - Frank Sinatra & Antonio Carlos Jobim (H) 597.) Girl On TV - LFO (H) 598.) Girlfight - Big Boi, Brooke Valentine & Lil’ Jon (H) 599.) Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne (H) 600.) Girlfriend - Bow Wow & Omarion (H) 601.) Girlfriend - *NSYNC (H) 602.) Girlfriend - Phoenix (H) 603.) girls - girl in red (H) 604.) Girls & Boys - Good Charlotte (H) 605.) Girls Just Want To Have Fun - Greg Laswell (S) 606.) Give It to Me - Timbaland feat. Justin Timberlake (H) 607.) Give Me Everything - Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer (H) 608.) Give Me Just One Night - 98 Degrees (H) 609.) Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran (S) 610.) Give Your Heart a Break - Demi Lovato (H) 611.) Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects (H) 612.) Glamorous - Fergie feat. Ludacris (H) 613.) Go Getta - Young Jeezy feat. R. Kelly (H) 614.) Go On Girl - Ne-Yo (S) 615.) God Is a DJ - P!nk (H) 616.) (God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You - *NSYNC (S) 617.) God Only Knows - The Beach Boys (S) 618.) God Put a Smile Upon Your Face - Coldplay (H) 619.) God’s Plan - Drake (H) 620.) Goin’ Crazy - Natalie (S) 621.) Gold Digger - Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx (H) 622.) Gone - *NSYNC (H) 623.) Gone Going - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 624.) Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips (H) 625.) Gonna Make You Sweat - C+C Music Factory (H) 626.) Good Feeling - Flo Rida (H) 627.) Good Life - Kanye West (H) 628.) Good Life - OneRepublic (H) 629.) Good Morning - Chamillionaire (H) 630.) Good Morning - Norah Jones (S) 631.) Good Old Days - Macklemore feat. Ke$ha (H) 632.) Good People - Jack Johnson (H) 633.) Good To Be Alive (Hallelujah) - Andy Grammer (H) 634.) Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys (H) 635.) Good Vibrations - Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch & Loleatta H (H) 636.) Goodbye - Kristinia DeBarge (H) 637.) Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch (S) 638.) Goodies - Ciara feat. Petey Pablo (H) 639.) Goodnight Goodnight - Maroon 5 (S) 640.) Got to Be Real - Cheryl Lynn (H) 641.) Gotta Get Thru This - Daniel Bedingfield (H) 642.) Gotta Tell You - Samantha Mumba (H) 643.) Grace - Kate Havnevik (S) 644.) Graduations (Friends Forever) - Vitamin C (S) 645.) Gravity - Alex & Sierra (S) 646.) Gravity - John Mayer (S) 647.) Gravity - Sara Bareilles (S) 648.) The Great Beyond - R.E.M. (S) 649.) The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls (H) 650.) Green Eyes - Coldplay (S) 651.) Green Light - John Legend feat. Andre 3000 (H) 652.) Grenade - Bruno Mars (H) 653.) Gretchen Ross - Michael Andrews (S) 654.) Grillz - Nelly feat. Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp (H) 655.) Grind With Me - Pretty Ricky (H) 656.) Groceries - Mallrat (H) 657.) Groove Is In the Heart - Deee-Lite (H) 658.) Groove Thang - Zhane (H) 659.) Grow Old With You - Adam Sandler (S) 660.) Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac (S)

661.) Hailie’s Song - Eminem (S) 662.) Half of My Heart - John Mayer feat. Taylor Swift (H) 663.) Halo - Beyonce (H) 664.) Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional (H) 665.) Hanging By a Moment - Lifehouse (H) 666.) Happy - Never Shout Never (H) 667.) Happy - Pharrell (H) 668.) Happy Together - Filter (S) 669.) Happy Together - The Turtles (H) 670.) Hard to Explain - The Strokes (H) 671.) Hard to Love - Lee Brice (S) 672.) Harder Than You Know - Escape the Fate (S) 673.) Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5 (H) 674.) Harlem Shake - Baauer (H) 675.) The Harold Song - Ke$ha (S) 676.) Harry (Barenoize Remix) - Medison (H) 677.) Hate It Or Love It - The Game feat. 50 Cent (H) 678.) Hate That I Love You - Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo (H) 679.) Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Frank Sinatra (S) 680.) Haven’t Met You Yet - Michael Buble (H) 681.) He Loves You Not - Dream (H) 682.) Head Over Heels - Tears for Fears (H) 683.) Headlines - Drake (H) 684.) Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (H) 685.) Headstrong - Trapt (H) 686.) Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana (H) 687.) Heartbeat - The Fray (H) 688.) Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer (S) 689.) Heartless - Kanye West (H) 690.) Heaven - Clairo (S) 691.) Heaven - DJ Sammy & Yanou feat. Do (H) 692.) Heaven - Los Lonely Boys (H) 693.) Heaven Forbid - The Fray (S) 694.) Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now - The Smiths (S) 695.) Heaven Sent - Keyshia Cole (H) 696.) Heels Over Head - Boys Like Girls (H) 697.) Hella Good - No Doubt (H) 698.) Hello - Adele (S) 699.) Hello - Beyonce (H) 700.) Hello Beautiful - Jonas Brothers (S) 701.) Hello It’s Me - Todd Rundgren (H) 702.) Hello? - Clairo feat. Rejjie Snow (H) 703.) Hemorrhage (In My Hands) - Fuel (H) 704.) Her Diamonds - Rob Thomas (H) 705.) Her Eyes Say Yes - Hit the Light (S) 706.) Here - Alessia Cara (H) 707.) Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye (H) 708.) Here Is Gone - The Goo Goo Dolls (S) 709.) Here It Goes Again - Ok Go (H) 710.) Here Without You - 3 Doors Down (S) 711.) Here’s to the Night - Eve 6 (S) 712.) Heregoesnothin - Never Shout Never (H) 713.) Hero - Regina Spektor (S) 714.) Hero (Kultur Remix) - Bamiyah (S) 715.) Hero - Chad Kroeger feat. Josey Scott (H) 716.) Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls (H) 717.) Hey Baby (Drop It to the Floor) - Pitbull (H) 718.) Hey Brittany - Forever the Sickest Kids (H) 719.) Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home) - Usher (H) 720.) Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At the Disco (H) 721.) Hey Ma - Cam’ron feat. Juelz Santana, Freekey Zeekey & Toya (H) 722.) Hey Mama - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 723.) Hey Mama - Kanye West (H) 724.) Hey Mama - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha & Afrojack (H) 725.) Hey Mami - Fannypack (H) 726.) Hey Stephen - Taylor Swift (H) 727.) Hey There Delilah - Plain White T’s (H) 728.) Hey Ya! - Outkast (H) 729.) Hey, Soul Sister - Train (H) 730.) (Hidden Track) Please - John Carrie & Moor Green (S) 731.) High You Are (Branchez Remix) - What So Not (H) 732.) Higher - Creed (H) 733.) The Hills - The Weeknd (H) 734.) Hip to Be Square - Huey Lewis & The News (H) 735.) Hips Don’t Lie - Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean (H) 736.) Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!) - Blu Cantrell (H) 737.) Ho Hey - The Lumineers (H) 738.) Hold My Hand - Jess Glynne (H) 739.) Hold My Hand - New Found Glory (H) 740.) Hold On - Jonas Brothers (H) 741.) Hold On, We’re Going Home - Drake feat. Majid Jordan (H) 742.) Holidae In - Chingy feat. Ludacris & Snoop Dogg (H) 743.) Holiday - Green Day (H) 744.) Holiday Road - Lindsey Buckingham (H) 745.) Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani (H) 746.) Hollywood - Madonna (H) 747.) Holy Grail - Jay-Z feat. Justin Timberlake (H) 748.) Home - Daughtry (S) 749.) Home - Phillip Phillips (H) 750.) Honestly - Cartel (H) 751.) Honey, I’m Good. - Andy Grammer (H) 752.) Hook - Blues Traveler (H) 753.) Hot In Herre - Nelly (H) 754.) Hot n Cold - Katy Perry (H) 755.) Hotline Bling - Drake (H) 756.) Houstalantavegas - Drake (H) 757.) How - Clairo (S) 758.) How Bizarre - OMC (H) 759.) How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees (H) 760.) How Do I Breathe - Mario feat. Cassidy (H) 761.) How Do You Sleep? - Jesse McCartney (H) 762.) How Low - Ludacris (H) 763.) How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) - James Taylor (H) 764.) How to Love - Lil Wayne (H) 765.) How to Save a Life - The Fray (S) 766.) How Was Your Day? - Mellow Fellow feat. Clairo (S) 767.) How We Do - The Game feat. 50 Cent (H) 768.) How Will I Know - Whitney Houston (H) 769.) How You Remind Me - Nickelback (H) 770.) How’s It Going to Be - Third Eye Blind (S) 771.) Human Nature - Michael Jackson (H) 772.) Hummingbird - Never Shout Never (S) 773.) Hummingbird Heartbeat - Katy Perry (H) 774.) Hung Up - Madonna (H) 775.) Hunger - Florence + The Machine (H) 776.) Hurtful - Erik Hassle (S) 777.) Hurts Like Heaven - Coldplay (H) 778.) HYFR (Hell Ya Fucking Right) - Drake (H) 779.) Hypnotize - The Notorious B.I.G. (H) 780.) Hypnotized - Plies feat. Akon (H)

781.) I Believe in a Thing Called Love - The Darkness (H) 782.) I Cry - Flo Rida (H) 783.) I Do - Colbie Caillat (H) 784.) I Don’t Like It, I Love It - Flo Rida feat. Robin Thicke (H) 785.) I Don’t Mind - Usher feat. Juicy J (H) 786.) I Don’t Think About You - Kelly Clarkson (S) 787.) I Don’t Wanna Know - Mario Winans feat. Enya & P. Diddy (H) 788.) I Don’t Want to Be - Gavin DeGraw (H) 789.) I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith (S) 790.) I Feel It Coming - The Weeknd feat. Daft Punk (H) 791.) I Found a Way - Drake Bell (H) 792.) I Got U - Duke Dumont feat. Jax Jones (H) 793.) I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 794.) I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack (S) 795.) I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry (H) 796.) I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden (S) 797.) I Know What It’s Like - Jeff Tweedy (S) 798.) I Know You See It - Yung Joc feat. Brandy “Ms.B” Hambrick (H) 799.) I Like It - Cardi B, Bad Bunny & J Balvin (H) 800.) I Like It - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull (H) 801.) I Like That - Houston, Nate Dogg, I-20 & Chingy (H) 802.) I Lived - OneRepublic (H) 803.) I Love College - Asher Roth (H) 804.) I Love It - Icona Pop feat. Charli XCX (H) 805.) I Love U - Tila Tequila (H) 806.) I Luv This Shit - August Alsina feat. Trey Songz & Chris Brown (H) 807.) I Luv Your Girl - The-Dream (H) 808.) I Miss You - blink-182 (S) 809.) I Must Be Dreaming - The Maine (H) 810.) I Need a Girl, Pt. 1 - P. Diddy feat. Loon & Usher (H) 811.) I Need a Girl, Pt. 2 - P. Diddy feat. Loon & Usher (H) 812.) i need to be alone. - girl in red (S) 813.) I Need to Know - Marc Anthony (H) 814.) I Never Told You - Colbie Caillat (S) 815.) I Ran - A Flock of Seagulls (H) 816.) I Think About You Everyday - A Rocket to the Moon (S) 817.) I Think I’m In Love With You - Jessica Simpson (H) 818.) I Think I’m Paranoid - Garbage (H) 819.) I Took a Pill in Ibiza - Mike Posner (H) 820.) I Touch Myself - Divinyls (H) 821.) I Tried - Bone Thugs-N-Harmony feat. Akon (S) 822.) I Try - Macy Gray (S) 823.) I Wanna Be Bad - Willa Ford (H) 824.) I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston (H) 825.) I Wanna Love You - Akon feat. Snoop Dogg (H) 826.) I Want Candy - Aaron Carter (H) 827.) I Want It That Way - Backstreet Boys (H) 828.) I Want You Back - *NSYNC (H) 829.) I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan (S) 830.) I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor (H) 831.) I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons (H) 832.) I Wish - The Secret Handshake (H) 833.) I Would Die 4 U - Prince (H) 834.) I Would Do Anything for You - Foster the People (H) 835.) I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At the Disco (H) 836.) I’d Do Anything - Simple Plan (H) 837.) I’ll Be - Edwin McCain (S) 838.) I’ll Be Missing You - Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans (S) 839.) I’ll Run - The Cab (H) 840.) I’ll Try Anything Once - Julian Casablancas (S) 841.) I’m a Believer - Smash Mouth (H) 842.) I’m a Flirt - R. Kelly feat. T.I. & T-Pain (H) 843.) I’m a Pirate, You’re a Princess - PlayRadioPlay! (S) 844.) I’m a Slave 4 U - Britney Spears (H) 845.) I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross (H) 846.) I’m Every Woman - Whitney Houston (H) 847.) I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers (H) 848.) I’m In It - Kanye West (H) 849.) I’m In Love With My Life - PHASES (H) 850.) I’m Just a Kid - Simple Plan (S) 851.) I’m Like a Bird - Nelly Furtado (S) 852.) I’m Like a Lawyer With the Way... (Me and You) - Fall Out Boy (H) 853.) I’m N Luv (Wit a Stripper) - T-Pain feat. Mike Jones (H) 854.) I’m On One - DJ Khaled feat. Drake, Rick Ross & Lil Wayne (H) 855.) I’m Ready - Jack’s Mannequin (H) 856.) I’m Real - Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule (H) 857.) I’m Sprung - T-Pain (H) 858.) I’m Still In Love With You - Sean Paul (H) 859.) I’m With You - Avril Lavigne (S) 860.) Ice Box - Omarion (S) 861.) Ice Cold Pool - Wallows (H) 862.) Idiot Boyfriend - Jimmy Fallon (H) 863.) If Everyone Cared - Nickelback (S) 864.) If I Ain’t Got You - Alicia Keys (S) 865.) If I Ain’t Got You (Live Cover) - Maroon 5 (S) 866.) If I Can’t Have You - Shawn Mendes (H) 867.) If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix (H) 868.) If I Never See Your Face Again - Maroon 5 (H) 869.) If I Were a Boy - Beyonce (S) 870.) If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow (S) 871.) If Only They Knew - A Rocket to the Moon (H) 872.) If U Seek Amy - Britney Spears (H) 873.) If We Ever Meet Again - Timbaland feat. Katy Perry (H) 874.) If You Had My Love - Jennifer Lopez (H) 875.) If You Run - The Boxer Rebellion (S) 876.) If You’re Gone - Matchbox Twenty (S) 877.) If You’re Not the One - Daniel Bedingfield (S) 878.) Ignition (Remix) - R. Kelly (H) 879.) Imma Be - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 880.) In da Club - 50 Cent (H) 881.) In My Blood - Shawn Mendes (H) 882.) In My Car - The Pack (H) 883.) In My Feelings - Drake (H) 884.) In My Place - Coldplay (S) 885.) In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins (S) 886.) In The End - Linkin Park (S) 887.) In the Mood - Glenn Miller & His Orchestra (H) 888.) In the Name of Lovve - Martin Garrix & Bebe Rexha (H) 889.) Independent - Webbie feat. Lil’ Boosie & Lil’ Phat (H) 890.) Independent Women, Pt. 1 - Destiny’s Child (H) 891.) Infatuated - Memphis Bleek feat. Boxie (H) 892.) Innocent - Taylor Swift (S) 893.) Insomnia - Craig David (H) 894.) Into You - Ariana Grande (H) 895.) Into You - Fabolous feat. Tamia (H) 896.) Into Your Arms - The Maine (S) 897.) Intuition - Jewel (H) 898.) Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls (S) 899.) Ironic - Alanis Morissette (S) 900.) Irreplaceable - Beyonce (S) 901.) Irresistible - Jessica Simpson (H) 902.) Island In the Sun - Weezer (H) 903.) Isn’t She Lovely - Stevie Wonder (H) 904.) Issues - Julia Michaels (H) 905.) It Ends Tonight - The All-American Rejects (S) 906.) It Makes Me Ill - *NSYNC (H) 907.) It Wasn’t Me - Shaggy feat. Ricardo Ducent (H) 908.) It’s Alright, It’s OK - Ashley Tisdale (H) 909.) It’s Been Awhile - Staind (S) 910.) It’s Goin’ Down - Yung Joc feat. Nitti (H) 911.) It’s Gonna Be Me - *NSYNC (H) 912.) It’s My Life - No Doubt (H) 913.) It’s Not My Time - 3 Doors Down (S) 914.) It’s Not Over - Daughtry (S) 915.) it’s not u it’s me - Bea Miller & 6LACK (H) 916.) It’s Not Unusual - Tom Jones (H) 917.) It’s Not Your Fault - New Found Glory (S) 918.) It’s Only Right - Wallows (H) 919.) It’s Over - Jesse McCartney (S) 920.) It’s Personal - The Radio Dept. (S) 921.) It’s Time - Imagine Dragons (H)

922.) Jaded - Aerosmith (H) 923.) Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny) - A.R. Rahman & The Pussycat Dolls (H) 924.) Jealous - Nick Jonas (H) 925.) Jenny - The Click Five (H) 926.) Jenny from the Block - Jennifer Lopez (H) 927.) Jingle Bells - Frank Sinatra (H) 928.) The Joke - Brandi Carlile (S) 929.) Juicy - The Notorious B.I.G. (H) 930.) Jump Around - House of Pain (H) 931.) Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift (H) 932.) Jump to the Rhythm - Jordan Pruitt (H) 933.) Jumper - Third Eye Blind (H) 934.) Jumpin’, Jumpin’ - Destiny’s Child (H) 935.) Just a Friend - Biz Markie (H) 936.) Just a Girl - No Doubt (H) 937.) Just a Lil Bit - 50 Cent (H) 938.) Just Can’t Get Enough - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 939.) Just Dance - Lady Gaga feat. Colby O’Donis (H) 940.) Just Fine - Mary J. Blige (H) 941.) Just Friends - Jason Reeves (S) 942.) Just Friends - Jonas Brothers (H) 943.) Just Got Paid - *NSYNC (H) 944.) Just Like a Pill - P!nk (S) 945.) Just Lose It - Eminem (H) 946.) Just So You Know - Jesse McCartney (S) 947.) Just the Girl - The Click Five (H) 948.) Just the Way You are - Bruno Mars (H) 949.) Just Us - Dj Khaled feat. SZA (H)

950.) Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne (S) 951.) Keep Your Head Up - Andy Grammer (H) 952.) Kelsey - Metro Station (H) 953.) Kids - MGMT (H) 954.) Killing Me Softly With His Song - Fugees (S) 955.) Kiss and Sell - The Maine (H) 956.) Kiss from a Rose - Seal (H) 957.) Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown feat. T-Pain (H) 958.) Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran (S) 959.) Kiss Me - New Found Glory (H) 960.) Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer (H) 961.) Kiss Me Thru the Phone - Soulja Boy (H) 962.) Kiss the Girl - Ashley Tisdale (H) 963.) Kiss You All Over - Exile (S) 964.) Knock You Down - Keri Hilson feat. Kanye West (H) 965.) Kokomo - The Beach Boys (H) 966.) Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down (H)

967.) L.G. Fuad - Motion City Soundtrack (S) 968.) La La La - LMFAO (H) 969.) Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya & P!nk (H) 970.) Laffy Taffy - D4L (H) 971.) Landslide - Fleetwood Mac (S) 972.) The Language - Drake (H) 973.) Larger Than Life - Backstreet Boys (H) 974.) Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) - Katy Perry (H) 975.) Last Kiss - Taylor Swift (S) 976.) Last Night - Diddy & Keyshia Cole (H) 977.) Latch - Disclosure feat. Sam Smith (H) 978.) Laughing - The Guess Who (H) 979.) Lay Me Down - Sam Smith (S) 980.) Lean Back - Terror Squad (H) 981.) Lean On Me - Major Lazer feat. MO & Dj Snake (H) 982.) Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It - Dem Franchize Boys feat. Peanut & Charlay (H) 983.) Leather and Lace - Stevie Nicks & Don Henley (S) 984.) Leave It in My Dreams - The Voidz (H) 985.) Leavin’ - Jesse McCartney (H) 986.) Lemon Tree - Josh Rouse (H) 987.) Lemondrops - Telana (S) 988.) The Less I Know the Better - Tame Impala (H) 989.) Let Go - Frou Frou (H) 990.) Let It Go - James Bay (S) 991.) Let It Go (Bearson Remix) - James Bay (H) 992.) Let It Go - Keyshia Cole feat. Missy Elliott & Lil’ Kim (H) 993.) Let It Pass - Jakob Ogawa (S) 994.) Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne (H) 995.) Let Me Blow Ya Mind - Eve feat. Gwen Stefani (H) 996.) Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down (S) 997.) Let Me Go - Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso feat. Florida Georgia Line (H) 998.) Let Me Hold You - Bow Wow feat. Omarion (H) 999.) Let Me Love You - Mario (H) 1000.) Let Me Love You - Dj Snake feat. Justin Bieber (H) 1001.) Let Me Love You (Until you Learn to Love Yourself) - Ne-Yo (H) 1002.) Let the Sun In - Wallows (S) 1003.) Let’s Get Loud - Jennifer Lopez (H) 1004.) Let’s Get Married - Jagged Edge feat. Run (H) 1005.) Let’s Get Retarded - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 1006.) Let’s Groove - Earth, Wind & Fire (H) 1007.) Let’s Stay Together - Al Green (H) 1008.) Let’s Stay Together - Maroon 5 (H) 1009.) Liar, Liar - A Fine Frenzy (S) 1010.) Life In Color - OneRepublic (H) 1011.) Life’s What You Make It - Hannah Montana (H) 1012.) Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous - Good Charlotte (H) 1013.) Light Up the Sky - Yellowcard (H) 1014.) Like a Boy - Ciara (H) 1015.) Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae (S) 1016.) Like Glue - Sean Paul (H) 1017.) Like I Love You - Justin Timberlake feat. Clipse (H) 1018.) Like I’m Gonna Lose You - Meghan Trainor feat. John Legend (S) 1019.) Like That - The Black Eyed Peas feat. John Legend & CeeLo Green (H) 1020.) Like This - Mims (H) 1021.) Like Toy Soldiers - Eminem (S) 1022.) Like We Used to - A Rocket to the Moon (S) 1023.) Like You - Bow Wow feat. Ciara (H) 1024.) Linger - The Cranberries (H) 1025.) Lip Gloss - Lil Mama (H) 1026.) Lips of an Angel - Hinder (S) 1027.) Listen to Your Heart - D.H.T. feat. Edmee (H) 1028.) Lisztomania - Phoenix (H) 1029.) A Little Bit Longer - Jonas Brothers (S) 1030.) Little House - Amanda Seyfried (S) 1031.) A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More “Touch Me” - Fall Out Boy (H) 1032.) A Little Party Never Killed Nobody - Fergie, Q-Tip & GoonRock (H) 1033.) Little Red Corvette - Prince (H) 1034.) Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men (H) 1035.) The Little Things - Colbie Caillat (S) 1036.) Little Things - One Direction (S) 1037.) Little Wonders - Rob Thomas (S) 1038.) Live Like We’re Dying - Kris Allen (H) 1039.) Live Your Life - T.I. feat. Rihanna (H) 1040.) Livin’ It Up - Ja Rule feat. Case (H) 1041.) Livin’ la Vida Loca - Ricky Martin (H) 1042.) Lloyd, I’m Ready to Be Heartbroken - Camera Obscura (H) 1043.) Locked Out of Heaven - Bruno Mars (H) 1044.) Locked Up - Akon (H) 1045.) Lolli Lolli (Pop That Body) - Three 6 Mafia (H) 1046.) Lollipop - Lil Wayne feat. Static Major (H) 1047.) London Bridge - Fergie (H) 1048.) Lonely - Akon (S) 1049.) Loner - Kali Uchis (S) 1050.) Long Distance Call - Phoenix (H) 1051.) Look After You - The Fray (S) 1052.) Lose My Breath - Destiny’s Child (H) 1053.) Losing It - Never Shout Never (S) 1054.) Lost - Frank Ocean (H) 1055.) Lost and Found - Phoenix (H) 1056.) Lost in Japan (Remix) - Shawn Mendes & Zedd (H) 1057.) Love - Keyshia Cole (S) 1058.) Love - Lana Del Rey (S) 1059.) Love - Matt White (H) 1060.) Love At First Sight - Kylie Minogue (H) 1061.) Love Don’t Cost a Thing - Jennifer Lopez (H) 1062.) Love Galore - SZA feat. Travis Scott (H) 1063.) Love In This Club - Usher feat. Young Jeezy (H) 1064.) Love Is Free - Sheryl Crow (H) 1065.) Love Like This - Natasha Bedingfield feat. Sean Kingston (H) 1066.) Love Lockdown - Kanye West (H) 1067.) Love Me - Lil Wayne feat. Drake & Future (H) 1068.) Love Me Harder - Ariana Grande & The Weeknd (H) 1069.) Love Never Felt So Good - Michael Jackson & Justin Timberlake (H) 1070.) Love on the Weekend - John Mayer (H) 1071.) Love On Top - Beyonce (H) 1072.) Love Remains The Same - Gavin Rossdale (S) 1073.) Love Shack - The B-52′s (H) 1074.) Love Somebody - Maroon 5 (H) 1075.) Love Song - Sara Bareilles (H) 1076.) Love Story - Taylor Swift (H) 1077.) Love the Way You Lie - Eminem feat. Rihanna (H) 1078.) Love Will Make You Beautiful - The Afters (S) 1079.) Love You ‘Till the End - The Pogues (S) 1080.) Love, Save the Empty - Erin McCarley (H) 1081.) Lovebug - Jonas Brothers (H) 1082.) Loved by You - Kirby (S) 1083.) Lovefool - The Cardigans (H) 1084.) Lovesong - The Cure (H) 1085.) LoveStoned/I Think She Knows - Justin Timberlake (H) 1086.) Lovin’ You - Minnie Riperton (H) 1087.) Loving Is Easy - Rex Orange County feat. Benny Sings (H) 1088.) Low - Flo Rida feat. T-Pain (H) 1089.) Luck Be a Lady - Frank Sinatra (H) 1090.) Lucky - Britney Spears (S) 1091.) Luxurious - Gwen Stefani (H) 1092.) Lyrical Lies - Cute Is What We Aim For (S)

1093.) Macarena - Los del Rio (H) 1094.) Mad - Ne-Yo (S) 1095.) Magic - Coldplay (S) 1096.) Magic Stick - Lil’ Kim (H) 1097.) Main Title - Aaron Zigman (S) 1098.) Main Title - Spider-Man (Motion Picture) (H) 1099.) Make It Rain - Fat Joe & Lil Wayne (H) 1100.) Make Me Better - Fabolous feat. Ne-Yo (H) 1101.) Make Me Like You - Gwen Stefani (H) 1102.) Make Me Over - Lifehouse (H) 1103.) Make Me Proud - Drake feat. Nicki Minaj (H) 1104.) Make You Feel My Love - Adele (S) 1105.) Make You Love Me - Jarreau Vandal feat. Zak Abel (H) 1106.) Makes Me Happy - Drake Bell (H) 1107.) Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 (H) 1108.) Malibu - Miley Cyrus (H) 1109.) Mambo No. 5 (a Little Bit of...) - Lou Bega (H) 1110.) The Man - Aloe Blacc (H) 1111.) The Man Who Sold the World - Nirvana (H) 1112.) Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain (H) 1113.) Maneater - Daryl Hall & John Oates (H) 1114.) Maneater - Nelly Furtado (H) 1115.) Maps - Maroon 5 (H) 1116.) Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (H) 1117.) Maps (Bonus Track) - The Fray (H) 1118.) Maria Maria - Santana (H) 1119.) Marry You - Bruno Mars (H) 1120.) Marvins Room - Drake (S) 1121.) Maybe You’re Right - Miley Cyrus (S) 1122.) Me & U - Cassie (H) 1123.) Me Against the Music - Britney Spears feat. Madonna (H) 1124.) Me Love - Sean Kingston (H) 1125.) Me, Myself & I - G-Eazy + Bebe Rexha (H) 1126.) Me, Myself and I - Vitamin C (H) 1127.) Mean - Taylor Swift (H) 1128.) Meant to Live - Switchfoot (H) 1129.) Medley: Summer Love/Set the Mood - Justin Timberlake (H) 1130.) Meet Me Halfway - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 1131.) Memories - David Guetta feat. Kid Cudi (H) 1132.) Mercy - Kanye West, Big Sean, Pusha T & 2 Chainz (H) 1133.) Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays - *NSYNC (H) 1134.) Mesmerize - Ja Rule feat. Ashanti (H) 1135.) The Mess I Made - Parachute (S) 1136.) Message In a Bottle - The Police (H) 1137.) Miami - Will Smith (H) 1138.) The Middle - Jimmy Eat World (H) 1139.) The Middle - Zedd, Maren Morris & Grey (H) 1140.) Middle - DJ Snake feat. Bipolar Sunshine (H) 1141.) Midnight City - M83 (H) 1142.) Migr8 - Telana (S) 1143.) Milkshake - Kelis (H) 1144.) A Milli - Lil Wayne (H) 1145.) Mine - Taylor Swift (H) 1146.) Misery - Maroon 5 (H) 1147.) Misguided Ghosts - Paramore (H) 1148.) Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson (H) 1149.) Miss Independent - Ne-Yo (H) 1150.) Miss Me - Drake feat. Lil’ Wayne (H) 1151.) Miss You - Between The Trees (S) 1152.) Missin You - Trey Songz (H) 1153.) Missing You - All Time Low (H) 1154.) Missing You - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 1155.) Mo Money Mo Problems - The Notorious B.I.G. (H) 1156.) Mockingbird - Eminem (S) 1157.) Moment 4 Life - Nicki Minaj & Drake (H) 1158.) A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson (S) 1159.) Money - Cardi B (H) 1160.) Money Maker - Ludacris feat. Pharrell (H) 1161.) The Monster - Eminem feat. Rihanna (H) 1162.) More Than Words - Extreme (S) 1163.) The Morning - Raekwon, Pusha T, Common, 2 Chainz, & Kid Cudi (H) 1164.) Morning Train (Nine to Five) - Sheena Easton (H) 1165.) Most Girls - P!nk (H) 1166.) Moth’s Wings - Passion Pit (H) 1167.) The Motto - Drake feat. Lil Wayne (H) 1168.) Move Along - The All-American Rejects (H) 1169.) Move Bitch - Disturbing tha Peace feat. Ludacris (H) 1170.) Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera (H) 1171.) Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song) - Billy Joel (H) 1172.) Mr. Brightside - The Killers (H) 1173.) Mr. Jones - Counting Crows (H) 1174.) Mrs. Officer - Lil Wayne feat. Bobby V & Kidd Kidd (H) 1175.) Ms. Jackson - Outkast (H) 1176.) Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxx, Mr. Collipark & Ying Yang Twins (H) 1177.) Music - Madonna (H) 1178.) Must Have Done Something Right - Relient K (H) 1179.) My Baby - Jesse McCartney (H) 1180.) My Band - D12 (H) 1181.) My Beautiful Rescue - This Providence (S) 1182.) My Blood - twenty one pilots (H) 1183.) My Body - Young the Giant (H) 1184.) My Boo - Usher & Alicia Keys (H) 1185.) My Cherie Amour - Stevie Wonder (H) 1186.) My Chick Bad - Ludacris feat. Nicki Minaj (H) 1187.) My Dad’s Gone Crazy - Eminem (H) 1188.) My Favorite Mistake - Sheryl Crow (H) 1189.) My Favorite Part - Mac Miller feat. Ariana Grande (H) 1190.) My Friends Over You - New Found Glory (H) 1191.) My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne (S) 1192.) My Heart Will Find Rest - Chase Coy (S) 1193.) My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion (S) 1194.) My Humps - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 1195.) My Last - Big Sean feat. Chris Brown (H) 1196.) My Life - Billy Joel (H) 1197.) My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson (H) 1198.) My Love - Justin Timberlake & T.I. (H) 1199.) My Name Is - Eminem (H) 1200.) My Nutmeg Phantasy - Macy Gray feat. Angie Stone & Mos Def (H) 1201.) My Place - Nelly feat. Jaheim (H) 1202.) My Prerogative - Bobby Brown (H) 1203.) My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (L.E.U) - Fall Out Boy (H) 1204.) My Way - Frank Sinatra (S) 1205.) My Way - Fetty Wap feat. Monty (H) 1206.) Myspace Girl - The Afters (H)

1207.) Na Na - Trey Songz (H) 1208.) Name - The Goo Goo Dolls (S) 1209.) Naughty Girl - Beyonce (H) 1210.) The Nearness of You - Norah Jones (S) 1211.) Need You Now - Lady Antebellum (S) 1212.) Needed Me - Rihanna (H) 1213.) Neighbors - Now, Now (H) 1214.) Never Be Like You - Flume feat. Kai (H) 1215.) Never Be the Same - Camila Cabello (H) 1216.) Never Going Back Again - Fleetwood Mac (H) 1217.) Never Gonna Leave This Bed - Maroon 5 (S) 1218.) Never Grow Up - Taylor Swift (S) 1219.) Never Know - Jack Jackson (H) 1220.) Never Leave You - Lumidee (H) 1221.) Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind (H) 1222.) Never Say Never - The Fray (S) 1223.) New Light - John Mayer (H) 1224.) Next to Me - Jakob Ogawa (H) 1225.) Next To Me - Emeli Sande (H) 1226.) Next To You - Chris Brown feat. Justin Bieber (H) 1227.) Niggas in Paris - Jay-Z & Kanye West (H) 1228.) Nicest Thing - Kate Nash (S) 1229.) Night Changes - One Direction (H) 1230.) The Night We Met - Lord Huron (S) 1231.) Nine In the Afternoon - Panic! At the Disco (H) 1232.) No Air - Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown (H) 1233.) No Church in the World - Jay-Z & Kanye West (H) 1234.) No Diggity - Blackstreet feat. Dr. Dre (H) 1235.) No Hands - Waka Flocka Flame (H) 1236.) No Letting Go - Wayne Wonder (H) 1237.) No More (Baby I’ma Do Right) - 3LW (H) 1238.) No One Can Touch Us - Sing It Loud (H) 1239.) No Rain - Blind Melon (H) 1240.) No Scrubs - TLC (H) 1241.) No Such Thing - John Mayer (H) 1242.) No Surprise - Daughtry (S) 1243.) No Type - Rae Sremmurd, Mike Williams, A.Brown & K. Brown (H) 1244.) Nobody’s Perfect - Hannah Montana (H) 1245.) Northern Lights - Cider Sky (H) 1246.) Nothin’ On You - B.o.B feat. Bruno Mars (H) 1247.) Nothing In This World - Paris Hilton (H) 1248.) Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon 5 (S) 1249.) Now or Never - Halsey (H) 1250.) Numb - LINKIN PARK (S) 1251.) Number One Spot - Ludacris (H) 1252.) Numbered Days - Eels (S)

1253.) Obsessed - Mariah Carey (H) 1254.) Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard (H) 1255.) Off I Go - Greg Laswell (S) 1256.) Oh Darling - Plug In Stereo feat. Cady Groves (H) 1257.) Oh, It Is Love - Hellogoodbye (H) 1258.) Omg - Usher feat. will.i.am (H) 1259.) On the 5 - Winnetka Bowling League (H) 1260.) On the Brightside - Never Shout Never (S) 1261.) On the Hotline - Pretty Ricky (H) 1262.) On the Nature of Daylight - Max Richter Orchestra (S) 1263.) On the Way Down - Ryan Cabrera (H) 1264.) One Call Away - Chingy (H) 1265.) One In a Million - Hannah Montana (S) 1266.) One Last Time - Ariana Grande (H) 1267.) One Man Wrecking Machine - Guster (S) 1268.) One More Chance/Stay With Me - The Notorious B.I.G. (H) 1269.) One More Night - Maroon 5 (H) 1270.) One More Time - Daft Punk (H) 1271.) One Step At a Time - Jordin Sparks (H) 1272.) The One That Got Away - Katy Perry (H) 1273.) One Thing - Finger Eleven (S) 1274.) One Thing - One Direction (H) 1275.) One Time Too Many - Phoenix (H) 1276.) One Week - Barenaked Ladies (H) 1277.) One, Two Step - Ciara feat. Missy Elliott (H) 1278.) Only - Nicki Minaj feat. Drake & Lil Wayne (H) 1279.) The Only Exception - Paramore (S) 1280.) Only Friend - Wallows (H) 1281.) Only Girl (In the World) - Rihanna (H) 1282.) Only One - Yellowcard (S) 1283.) Only Wanna Be With You - Hootie & The Blowfish (H) 1284.) Ooh Ahh (My Life Be Like) - Grits (H) 1285.) Oops!... I Did It Again - Britney Spears (H) 1286.) Open Arms - Journey (S) 1287.) Open Season - High Highs (S) 1288.) Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol (S) 1289.) Ordinary Day - Vanessa Carlton (S) 1290.) Ordinary People - John Legend (S) 1291.) The Other Side - Jason Derulo (H) 1292.) Otis - Jay-Z & Kanye West feat. Otis Redding (H) 1293.) Oui - Jeremih (H) 1294.) Our Deal - Best Coast (H) 1295.) Out of My league - Fitz and The Tantrums (H) 1296.) Outta My System - Bow Wow feat. T-Pain (H) 1297.) Over - Drake (H) 1298.) Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray (S) 1299.) Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland (S) 1300.) Over You - Daughtry (S) 1301.) Overnight Celebrity - Twista (H) 1302.) Overprotected - Britney Spears (H) 1303.) Own It - Drake (H)

1304.) P.D.A. (We Just Don’t Care) - John Legend (H) 1305.) P.S. (I’m Still Not Over You) - Rihanna (H) 1306.) P.S. You Rock My World - Eels (S) 1307.) P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) - Michael Jackson (H) 1308.) Pacific Coast Party - Smash Mouth (H) 1309.) Panda - Desiigner (H) 1310.) Paper Planes - M.I.A. (H) 1311.) Paperweight - Joshua Radin & Schulyer Fisk (S) 1312.) Paradise - Coldplay (H) 1313.) Paralyze - Tila Tequila (S) 1314.) Paralyzer - Finger Eleven (H) 1315.) Paranoid - Kanye West feat. Mr. Hudson (H) 1316.) Partition - Beyonce (H) 1317.) Party In the U.S.A. - Miley Cyrus (H) 1318.) Party Like a Rock Star - Shop Boyz (H) 1319.) Party Starter - Will Smith (H) 1320.) Party Up - DMX (H) 1321.) Passenger Seat - Death Cab for Cutie (S) 1322.) Passionfruit - Drake (H) 1323.) Payphone - Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa (H) 1324.) Peaches & Cream - 112 feat. P. Diddy (H) 1325.) Penguin - Christina Perri (S) 1326.) Perfect - Maren Ord (H) 1327.) Perfect - Simple Plan (S) 1328.) Perfect Sweet Blue - Jakob Ogawa (S) 1329.) Perfect World - Huey Lewis & The News (H) 1330.) Perfectly Lonely - John Mayer (S) 1331.) Permanent December - Miley Cyrus (H) 1332.) Phone Call - Jon Brion (S) 1333.) Photograph - Ed Sheeran (S) 1334.) Photograph - Nickelback (S) 1335.) Picture - Kid Rock feat. Sheryl Crow (S) 1336.) Pictures of You - The Last Goodnight (H) 1337.) Piece by Piece - Kelly Clarkson (S) 1338.) Piece of Me - Britney Spears (H) 1339.) Pieces of Me - Ashlee Simpson (H) 1340.) PILLOWTALK - ZAYN (H) 1341.) Pimpin’ All Over the World - Ludacris feat. Bobby V (H) 1342.) Play - David Banner (H) 1343.) Please Be Mine - Jonas Brothers (S) 1344.) Please Be Mine - Molly Burch (S) 1345.) Please Don’t Go - Mike Posner (H) 1346.) Please Don’t Leave Me - P!nk (S) 1347.) Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths (S) 1348.) Pleaser - Wallows (H) 1349.) Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield (H) 1350.) Poison - Bell Biv DeVoe (H) 1351.) Pompeii - Bastille (H) 1352.) Pon de Replay - Rihanna (H) 1353.) Pony - Ginuwine (H) 1354.) Pop - *NSYNC (H) 1355.) Pop Champagnes - Jim Jonez & Ron Browz feat. Juelz Santana (H) 1356.) Pop That - French Montana feat. Rick Ross, Drake, & Lil Wayne (H) 1357.) Pop, Lock & Drop It - Huey (H) 1358.) Poppin’ (Main) - Chris Brown (H) 1359.) Pound the Alarm - Nicki Minaj (H) 1360.) Pour It Up - Rihanna (H) 1361.) Power Hungry Animals - The Apache Relay (H) 1362.) The Power of Love - Huey Lewis & The News (H) 1363.) Power Trip - J. Cole feat. Miguel (H) 1364.) Pretty Baby - Vanessa Carlton (S) 1365.) Pretty Girl - Clairo (S) 1366.) Pretty Girl Rock - Keri Hilson (H) 1367.) Pretty Rave Girl - S3RL (H) 1368.) Princess of China - Coldplay & Rihanna (H) 1369.) Private Eyes - Daryl Hall & John Oates (H) 1370.) Problem - Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea (H) 1371.) Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland (H) 1372.) A Public Affair - Jessica Simpson (H) 1373.) Pullin’ Me Back - Chingy (H) 1374.) Pulling Leaves off Trees - Wallows (H) 1375.) Pump It - The Black Eyed Peas (H) 1376.) Pumped Up Kicks - Foster the People (H) 1377.) Pursuit of Happiness (Remix) - Steve Aoki (H)  1378.) Put It On Me - Ja Rule feat. Lil’ Mo (H) 1379.) Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae (H)

1380.) Radio - Beyonce (H) 1381.) Radioactive - Imagine Dragons (H) 1382.) Raise Your Glass - P!nk (H) 1383.) Rather Be - Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne (H) 1384.) Ready 2 Ride - Junglepussy (H) 1385.) Ready or Not - Bridgit Mendler (H) 1386.) Real Estate - Adam Melchor (S) 1387.) The Real Slim Shady - Eminem (H) 1388.) Realize - Colbie Caillat (S) 1389.) The Reason - Hoobastank (S) 1390.) Redbone - Childish Gambino (H) 1391.) Reflecting Light - Sam Phillips (S) 1392.) The Remedy (I Won’t Worry) - Jason Mraz (H) 1393.) Remember When - Wallows (H) 1394.) Remembering Sunday - All Time Low (S) 1395.) Renegades - X Ambassadors (H) 1396.) Replay - Iyaz (H) 1397.) Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac (H) 1398.) Rich Girl - Daryl Hall & John Oates (H) 1399.) Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani feat. Eve (H) 1400.) Ride - Lana Del Rey (S) 1401.) Ride - twenty one pilots (H) 1402.) Ride - Ciara feat. Ludacris (H) 1403.) Ride Wit Me - Nelly (H) 1404.) Ridin’ - Chamillionaire (H) 1405.) Ridin’ Solo - Jason Derulo (H) 1406.) Right Above It - Lil Wayne & Drake (H) 1407.) Right Back Where We Started From - Maxine Nightingale (H) 1408.) Right Now (Na Na Na) - Akon (H) 1409.) Right Round - Flo Rida feat. Ke$ha (H) 1410.) Right Thurr - Chingy (H) 1411.) Right Where You Want Me - Jesse McCartney (H) 1412.) Riptide - Vance Joy (H) 1413.) Riviera - A$AP Twelvyy feat. Joey Bada$$ & Telena (H) 1414.) Rock & Roll - Eric Hutchinson (H) 1415.) Rock Star - Hannah Montana (H) 1416.) Rock Wit U (Awww Baby) - Ashanti (H) 1417.) Rock With You - Michael Jackson (H) 1418.) Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake (H) 1419.) Rocketeer - Far East Movement & Ryan Tedder (H) 1420.) Rockin’ That Shit - The-Dream (H) 1421.) Roll Up - Wiz Khalifa (H) 1422.) Rolling in the Deep - Adele (H) 1423.) Rollout (My Business) - Ludacris (H) 1424.) Rompe - Daddy Yankee (H) 1425.) Roses - Outkast (H) 1426.) Roses - The Chainsmokers (H) 1427.) Roxanne - The Police (H) 1428.) Rude Boy - Rihanna (H) 1429.) Rump Shaker - Wreckx-N-Effect (H) 1430.) Run It! - Chris Brown feat. Juelz Santana (H) 1431.) Run the World (Girls) - Beyonce (H) 1432.) Run-Around - Blues Traveler (H) 1433.) Runaway - Cartel (H) 1434.) Runaway Love - Ludacris feat. Mary J. Blige (H) 1435.) Runnin’ Around - Colbie Caillat (H) 1436.) A Rush of Blood to the Head - Coldplay (S)

1437.) S.O.S. - Jonas Brothers (H) 1438.) S&M - Rihanna (H) 1439.) Sad - Maroon 5 (S) 1440.) Sadie Hawkins Dance - Relient K (H) 1441.) Safe and Sound - Capital Cities (H) 1442.) Safe In the Steep Cliffs - Emancipator (S) 1443.) Sail - AWOLNATION (H) 1444.) Salt Shaker - Ying Yang Twins & Lil Jon (H) 1445.) The Saltwater Room - Owl City (H) 1446.) Samba de Bencao - Bebel Gilberto (H) 1447.) Same Girl (Duet with Usher) - R. Kelly (H) 1448.) Same Old Love - Selena Gomez (H) 1449.) Sara Smile - Daryl Hall & John Oates (S) 1450.) Satisfaction - Jackie Mittoo (H) 1451.) Save Room - John Legend (H) 1452.) Savin’ Me - Nickelback (S) 1453.) say anything - girl in red (S) 1454.) Say Anything (Else) - Cartel (H) 1455.) Say Goodbye - Chris Brown (S) 1456.) Say Hey (I Love You) - Michael Franti & Spearhead (H) 1457.) Say I - Christina Milian (H) 1458.) Say I Yi Yi - Ying Yang Twins (H) 1459.) Say It - Tory Lanez (H) 1460.) Say It Right - Nelly Furtado (H) 1461.) Say Ok - Vanessa Hudgens (H) 1462.) Say Something - Timbaland feat. Drake (H) 1463.) Say You Won’t Let Go - James Arthur (S) 1464.) Scars - Papa Roach (S) 1465.) The Scientist - Coldplay (S) 1466.) Scotty Doesn’t Know - Lustra (H) 1467.) Scream - Usher (H) 1468.) Seasons of Love - Rent (H) 1469.) Second Chance - Shinedown (H) 1470.) The Second That You Say - Chase Coy (S) 1471.) Secrets - OneRepublic (H) 1472.) Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind (H) 1473.) Send My Love (To Your New Lover) - Adele (H) 1474.) Senorita - Justin Timberlake (H) 1475.) September - Earth, Wind & Fire (H) 1476.) Set Fire to the Rain - Adele (H) 1477.) Set the Fire to the Third Bar - Snow Patrol (S) 1478.) Seventeen Forever - Metro Station (H) 1479.) Sex On Fire - Kings of Leon (H) 1480.) Sexy Bitch - David Guetta feat. Akon (H) 1481.) Sexy Can I - Ray J feat. Yung Berg (H) 1482.) Sexy Love - Ne-Yo (H) 1483.) SexyBack - Justin Timberlake & Timbaland (H) 1484.) Shadow of the Day - LINKIN PARK (S) 1485.) Shake - Ying Yang Twins & Pitbull (H) 1486.) Shake It - Metro Station (H) 1487.) Shake It Off - Mariah Carey (H) 1488.) Shake It Off - Taylor Swift (H) 1489.) Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine (H) 1490.) Shake That - Eminem feat. Nate Dogg (H) 1491.) Shake Ya Ass - Mystikal (H) 1492.) Shake Ya Tailfeather - Nelly & P. Diddy (H) 1493.) Shake Your Pom Pom - MC Joe (H) 1494.) Shallow - Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper (S) 1495.) Shawty - Plies (H) 1496.) Shawty Is Da Shit! - The-Dream & Fabolous (H) 1497.) She Ain’t You - Chris Brown (H) 1498.) She Doesn’t Get It - The Format (H) 1499.) She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals (H) 1500.) She Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd (H) 1501.) She Is - The Fray (H) 1502.) She Is Love - Parachute (S) 1503.) She Just Likes to Fight - Four Tet (S) 1504.) She Knows - Ne-Yo feat. Juicy J (H) 1505.) She Says - Howie Day (S) 1506.) She Will - Lil Wayne feat. Drake (H) 1507.) She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5 (S) 1508.) She’s a Lady - Forever the Sickest Kids (H) 1509.) She’s Got You High - Mumm-Ra (H) 1510.) She’s No You - Jesse McCartney (H) 1511.) She’s So High - Tal Bachman (H) 1512.) Shimmer - Fuel (H) 1513.) Ship To Wreck - Florence + The Machine (H) 1514.) Shiver - Coldplay (H) 1515.) Shoop - Salt-N-Pepa (H) 1516.) Shooting Stars - Bag Raiders (H) 1517.) Shortie Like Mine - Bow Wow feat. Chris Brown (H) 1518.) Shoulder Lean - Young Dro feat. T.I. (H) 1519.) The Show Goes On - Lupe Fiasco (H) 1520.) Show Me a Good Time - Drake (H) 1521.) Show Me Love - Laura Mvula (S) 1522.) Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely - Backstreet Boys (S) 1523.) Show Me the Money - Petey Pablo (H) 1524.) Show Me What I’m Looking For - Carolina Liar (S) 1525.) Show Stopper - Danity Kane (H) 1526.) Shower - Becky G. (H) 1527.) Shut Up and Drive - Rihanna (H) 1528.) Sidelines - Wallows (H) 1529.) Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours) - Stevie Wonder (H) 1530.) Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson (H) 1531.) Sing - Ed Sheeran (H) 1532.) Sing for the Moment - Eminem (H) 1533.) Single Millionaires - Brighten (S) 1534.) Sis - Clairo (S) 1535.) Sit Next to Me - Foster the People (H) 1536.) Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson (H) 1537.) Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne (H) 1538.) A Sky Full of Stars - Coldplay (H) 1539.) Sleeping With a Friend - Neon Trees (H) 1540.) Sleepyhead - Passion Pit (H) 1541.) Slide - The Goo Goo Dolls (H) 1542.) Slide - Calvin Harris feat. Frank Ocean & Migos (H) 1543.) Slide Along Slide - Shifty (H) 1544.) Slipped Away - Avril Lavigne (S) 1545.) Slow Dancing In a Burning Room - John Mayer (S) 1546.) Slow Down - Bobby V (H) 1547.) Slow Down - The Academy Is (H) 1548.) Slow Jamz - Twista, Kanye West & Jamie Foxx (H) 1549.) Slow Motion - Juvenile (H) 1550.) Slow Wind - R. Kelly feat. Sean Paul & Akon (H) 1551.) Smack That - Akon feat. Eminem (H) 1552.) Smash into You - Beyonce (S) 1553.) Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana (H) 1554.) Smelyalata - Never Shout Never (H) 1555.) Smile - Lily Allen (H) 1556.) Smile - Uncle Kracker (H) 1557.) Smooth - Santana feat. Rob Thomas (H) 1558.) Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson (H) 1559.) Smother Me - The Used (S) 1560.) Snap Yo Fingers - E-40, Lil Jon, Sean Paul & YoungBloodZ (H) 1561.) Snow (Hey Oh) - Red Hot Chili Peppers (H) 1562.) So Far Away - Staind (S) 1563.) So Good - B.o.B (H) 1564.) So Sick - Ne-Yo (H) 1565.) So What - P!nk (H) 1566.) So What - Field Mob feat. Ciara (H) 1567.) So Yesterday - Hilary Duff (S) 1568.) Soak Up the Sun - Sheryl Crow (H) 1569.) Some Nights - Fun. (H) 1570.) Somebody - Natalie La Rose feat. Jeremih (H) 1571.) Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye (H) 1572.) Somebody to Love - Queen (H) 1573.) Somebody Told Me - The Killers (H) 1574.) Somebody’s Baby - Jackson Browne (H) 1575.) Someday - Rob Thomas (S) 1576.) Someday - The Strokes (H) 1577.) Someday - Sugar Ray (H) 1578.) Someday - Nickelback (S) 1579.) Someday We’ll Know - Mandy Moore & Jonathan Foreman (H) 1580.) Someone Like You - Adele (S) 1581.) Someone to Call My Lover - Janet Jackson (H) 1582.) Something Good Can Work - Two Door Cinema Club (H) 1583.) Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay (H) 1584.) Somewhere Only We Know - Keane (S) 1585.) A Song About Being Sad - Rex Orange County (S) 1586.) Sooner or Later - Mat Kearney (H) 1587.) Sorry - Buckcherry (S) 1588.) Sorry Not Sorry - Demi Lovato (H) 1589.) SOS - Rihanna (H) 1590.) Southside - Lloyd feat. Ashanti (H) 1591.) The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band (S) 1592.) The Space Between - Valencia (H) 1593.) Space Bound - Eminem (S) 1594.) Space Cowboy (Yippie-Yi-Yay) - *NSYNC (H) 1595.) Sparks - Coldplay (S) 1596.) Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift (H) 1597.) Speakerphone - Kylie Minogue (H) 1598.) Speakers Blown - Hit the Lights (H) 1599.) Speaking Terms - Snail Mail (S) 1600.) Speechless - Dan + Shay (S) 1601.) Speed of Sound - Coldplay (H) 1602.) Spice Up Your Life - Spice Girls (H) 1603.) Spies - Coldplay (S) 1604.) Stab My Back - The All-American Rejects (H) 1605.) Stacy’s Mom - Fountains of Wayne (H) 1606.) Stand Up - Ludacris (H) 1607.) Star Girl - McFly (H) 1608.) Starry Eyed Surprise - Paul Oakenfold (H) 1609.) Stars Are Blind - Paris Hilton (H) 1610.) Starving - Hailee Steinfeld & Grey feat. Zedd (H) 1611.) Stay - Miley Cyrus (S) 1612.) Stay - Zedd & Alessia Cara (H) 1613.) Stay - Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko (S) 1614.) Stay Fly - Three 6 Mafia (H) 1615.) Stay the Night - Zedd feat. Hayley Williams (H) 1616.) Stay With Me - Sam Smith (S) 1617.) Step Up - Samantha Jade (H) 1618.) Stereo Love - Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina (H) 1619.) Stickwitu - The Pussycat Dolls (S) 1620.) Still Around - 3OH!3 (S) 1621.) Still Feel Like Your Man - John Mayer (H) 1622.) Still In Love With You - Jonas Brothers (H) 1623.) Stockholm Syndrome - One Direction (H) 1624.) Stolen - Dashboard Confessional (S) 1625.) Stone Cold - Demi Lovato (S) 1626.) Stop and Stare - OneRepublic (S) 1627.) Story of My Life - One Direction (H) 1628.) Strange Condition - Pete Yorn (S) 1629.) Strangers In The Night - Frank Sinatra (H) 1630.) Streetcorner Symphony - Rob Thomas (H) 1631.) Stressed Out - twenty one pilots (S) 1632.) Strings - Young the Giant (H) 1633.) Strong - Jordyn Taylor (H) 1634.) Strong Enough - Cher (H) 1635.) Stronger - Britney Spears (H) 1636.) Stronger - Kanye West (H) 1637.) Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) - Kelly Clarkson (H) 1638.) Style - Taylor Swift (H) 1639.) Sucker - Jonas Brothers  (H) 1640.) Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall (H) 1641.) Suffocate - J. Holiday (S) 1642.) Suga Suga - Baby Bash feat. Frankie J (H) 1643.) Sugar - Maroon 5 (H) 1644.) Sugar - Robin Schulz feat. Francesco Yates (H) 1645.) Sugar - Flo Rida feat. Wynter (H) 1646.) Sugar (Gimme Some) - Trick Daddy feat. Ludacris & Lil Kim (H) 1647.) Sugar Town (Bonus Track) - Zooey Deschanel (H) 1648.) Sugar, We’re Goin Down - Fall Out Boy (H) 1649.) Suit & Tie - Justin Timberlake feat. Jay-Z (H) 1650.) Summer - Calvin Harris (H) 1651.) Summer Breeze - Seals & Crofts (H) 1652.) summer depression - girl in red (S) 1653.) Summer Girls - LFO (H) 1654.) Summer Wind - Frank Sinatra (H) 1655.) Summertime - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince (H) 1656.) Sun Tan - Wallows (S) 1657.) Sunday Morning - Maroon 5 (H) 1658.) Sunday Morning - No Doubt (H) 1659.) Sundress - A$AP Rocky (H) 1660.) Sunflower - Rex Orange County (H) 1661.) Sunny - Boney M. (H) 1662.) Sunny - Frank Sinatra & Duke Ellington (H) 1663.) Sunrise - Norah Jones (H) 1664.) Sunshine - Aerosmith (H) 1665.) Sunshine - Lil’ Flip (H) 1666.) Sunshine Girl (Demo) - Jakob Ogawa (S) 1667.) Sunshine Girl (Pt. 2) - Jakob Ogawa (H) 1668.) Super Bass - Nicki Minaj (H) 1669.) Super Freak - Rick James (H) 1670.) Superman - Joe Brooks (S) 1671.) Superman - Eminem (S) 1672.) Superstar - Lupe Fiasco (H) 1673.) Superstition - Stevie Wonder (H) 1674.) Surfin’ U.S.A - The Beach Boys (H) 1675.) Survival of the Fittest - Robert DeLong (S) 1676.) Survivor - Destiny’s Child (H) 1677.) Sweat (A La La La La Long) - Inner Circle (H) 1678.) Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood (S) 1679.) Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap (H) 1680.) Sweet Dreams - Beyonce (H) 1681.) Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics (H) 1682.) The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani feat. Akon (H) 1683.) Sweet Nothing - Calvin Harris feat. Florench Welch (H) 1684.) Sweet Sixteen - Hilary Duff (H) 1685.) Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill) - Wyclef Jean feat. Akon (H) 1686.) Swimming Pools (Drank) - Kendrick Lamar (H) 1687.) Swing, Swing - The All-American Rejects (H) 1688.) Switch - Will Smith (H) 1689.) Sympathy - The Goo Goo Dolls (S)

1690.) Take a Bow - Rihanna (S) 1691.) Take a Chance On Me - ABBA (H) 1692.) Take a Walk - Passion Pit (H) 1693.) Take Care - Drake feat. Rihanna (H) 1694.) Take Cover - Acceptance (H) 1695.) Take It All Back 2.0 - Judah & The Lion (S) 1696.) Take Me On the Floor - The Veronicas (H) 1697.) Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand (H) 1698.) Take Me to Church - Hozier (H) 1699.) Take You Down - Chris Brown (H) 1700.) Take You There - Sean Kingston (H) 1701.) Talk - Coldplay (H) 1702.) Talk - Khalid (H) 1703.) Talk Dirty - Jason Derulo (H) 1704.) Taper Jean Girl - Kings of Leon (H) 1705.) Tearin’ Up My Heart - *NSYNC (H) 1706.) Teenage Dream - Boyce Avenue (S) 1707.) Teenage Dream - Katy Perry (H) 1708.) Tell Her - Jesse McCartney (S) 1709.) Tell Me You Love Me - Demi Lovato (H) 1710.) Temperature - Sean Paul (H) 1711.) Thank You - Dido (S) 1712.) That ‘70′s Song - The Cab (H) 1713.) That Don’t Impress Me Much - Shania Twain (H) 1714.) That’s Life - Frank Sinatra (H) 1715.) That’s the Way It Is - Celine Dion (H) 1716.) That’s What I Like - Bruno Mars (H) 1717.) Theme from New York, New York - Frank Sinatra (H) 1718.) Then the Morning Comes - Smash Mouth (H) 1719.) There for You - Flyleaf (S) 1720.) There Goes My Baby - Usher (H) 1721.) There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths (S) 1722.) There It Go (The Whistle Song) - Juelz Santana (H) 1723.) There She Go - Garren Sean (H) 1724.) There She Goes - Sixpence None The Richer (S) 1725.) There You Go - P!nk (H) 1726.) There’s Nothin’ - Sean Kingston (H) 1727.) There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back - Shawn Mendes (H) 1728.) These Boots are Made for Walkin’ - Jessica Simpson (H) 1729.) These Days - Wallows (S) 1730.) These Words - Natasha Bedingfield (H) 1731.) Thinkin Bout You - Frank Ocean (S) 1732.) Thinking of You - Katy Perry (S) 1733.) Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran (S) 1734.) Thirteen - Big Star (S) 1735.) This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race - Fall Out Boy (H) 1736.) This Girl - Laza Morgan (H) 1737.) This Girl - Kungs & Cookin’ on 3 Burners (H) 1738.) This I Promise You - *NSYNC (S) 1739.) This Is America - Childish Gambino (H) 1740.) This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan (H) 1741.) This Is the Thing - Fink (S) 1742.) This Is What You Came For - Calvin Harris feat. Rihanna (H) 1743.) This Is Why I’m Hot - Mims (H) 1744.) This Is Your Life - Switchfoot (S) 1745.) This Kiss - Faith Hill (H) 1746.) This Love - Maroon 5 (H) 1747.) This Modern Love - Bloc Party (H) 1748.) This Old Heart of Mine - The Isley Brothers (H) 1749.) This Summer’s Gonna Hurt Like A Motherfucker - Maroon 5 (H) 1750.) This Town - Niall Horan (S) 1751.) This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole (H) 1752.) Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy (H) 1753.) Thong Song - Sisqo (H) 1754.) A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton (H) 1755.) A Thousand Years - Christina Perri (S) 1756.) Thrift Shop - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (H) 1757.) Thriller - Michael Jackson (H) 1758.) Through the Wire - Kanye West (H) 1759.) Throw It In The Bag (Remix) - Fabolous (H) 1760.) Throwaway - SG Lewis & Clairo (H) 1761.) Thunder - Imagine Dragons (H) 1762.) Thunder (Radio Mix) - Boys Like Girls (S) 1763.) Tie Me Down - New Boyz feat. Ray J (H) 1764.) Timber - Pitbull feat. Ke$ha (H) 1765.) Time After Time - Quietdrive (H) 1766.) Time of Our Lives - Pitbull & Ne-Yo (H) 1767.) Time of the Season - The Zombies (H) 1768.) Time to Pretend - MGMT (H) 1769.) Tipsy - J-Kwon (H) 1770.) Titanium - David Guetta feat. Sia (H) 1771.) Title and Registration - Death Cab for Cutie (S) 1772.) To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra (S) 1773.) Together - Michelle Branch (S) 1774.) Tomorrow - Kali Uchis (H) 1775.) Tongue Tied - Grouplove (H) 1776.) Tonight (Best You Ever Had) - John Legend feat. Ludacris (H) 1777.) Tonight (I’m Fuckin’ You) - Enrique Iglesias feat. Ludacris (H) 1778.) Too Close - Alex Clare (H) 1779.) Too Good - Drake feat. Rihanna (H) 1780.) Too Good at Goodbyes - Sam Smith (S) 1781.) Tootsie Roll - 69 Boyz (H) 1782.) Toothbrush - DNCE (H) 1783.) Torn - Natalie Imbruglia (S) 1784.) Tote It (Remix) - Rod Lee (H) 1785.) Touch It - Busta Rhymes (H) 1786.) Touch My Body - Mariah Carey (H) 1787.) Touch the Sky - Kanye West feat. Lupe Fiasco (H) 1788.) Toxic - Britney Spears (H) 1789.) Treacherous Doctor - Wallows (H) 1790.) Treasure - Bruno Mars (H) 1791.) Trouble - Lindsey Buckingham (H) 1792.) Trouble - Never Shout Never (H) 1793.) Trouble - P!nk (H) 1794.) The Trouble With Love Is - Kelly Clarkson (S) 1795.) True - Ryan Cabrera (S) 1796.) True - Spandau Ballet (H) 1797.) True Friend - Hannah Montana (H) 1798.) Truffle Butter - Nicki Minaj feat. Drake & Lil Wayne (H) 1799.) Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden (S) 1800.) Trumpets - Jason Derulo (H) 1801.) Trust Me - The Fray (S) 1802.) Try a Little Tenderness - Otis Redding (H) 1803.) Trying To Be Cool - Phoenix (H) 1804.) Tubthumping - Chumbawamba (H) 1805.) Turn Me On - The Fray (H) 1806.) Turn Me On - Kevin Lyttle (H) 1807.) Turn My Swag On - Soulja Boy (H) 1808.) Turn Up the Music - Chris Brown (H) 1809.) Twins - Cass McCombs (S) 1810.) Two Hearts - Phil Collins (H) 1811.) Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls feat. Taylor Swift (S)

1812.) U + Ur Hand - P!nk (H) 1813.) U and Dat - E-40 feat. T-Pain (H) 1814.) U Can’t Touch This - MC Hammer (H) 1815.) U Got It Bad - Usher (S) 1816.) Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy (H) 1817.) Umbrella - Rihanna feat. Jay-Z (H) 1818.) Uncomfortable - Wallows (S) 1819.) Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowie (H) 1820.) Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers (H) 1821.) Under the Milky Way - The Church (H) 1822.) Underneath It All - No Doubt (H) 1823.) Underneath Your Clothes - Shakira (S) 1824.) Unfaithful - Rihanna (S) 1825.) Unsteady - X Ambassadors (S) 1826.) Until We Get There - Lucius (H) 1827.) Untitled - Simple Plan (S) 1828.) Untitled #3 (Samskeyti) - Sigur Ros (S) 1829.) Untouchable - Taylor Swift (S) 1830.) Untouched - The Veronicas (H) 1831.) Unusual You - Britney Spears (H) 1832.) Unwell - Matchbox Twenty (S) 1833.) Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield (H) 1834.) Up and Away - Jakob Ogawa (S) 1845.) Up Up & Away - Kid Cudi (H) 1846.) Upgrade U - Beyonce (H) 1847.) Upside Down - Jack Johnson (H) 1848.) Upside Down (Spin Me All Around) - Secret Secret Dino Club (H) 1849.) Uptown Girl - Billy Joel (H) 1850.) Us - Regina Spektor (H) 1851.) Use Somebody - Kings of Leon (H)

1852.) Valerie - Amy Winehouse (H) 1853.) Vans - The Pack (H) 1854.) Velvet Light - Jakob Ogawa (S) 1855.) The Very Thought of You - Nat King Cole (S) 1856.) Video Games - Lana Del Rey (S) 1857.) Vienna - Billy Joel (S) 1858.) Viva La Vida - Coldplay (H)

1859.) Wait - M83 (S) 1860.) Wait (The Whisper Song) - Ying Yang Twins (H) 1861.) Wait a Minute - The Pussycat Dolls feat. Timbaland (H) 1862.) Waiting for Tonight - Jennifer Lopez (H) 1863.) Waiting On the World to Change - John Mayer (H) 1864.) Wake Me Up - Avicii (H) 1865.) Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day (S) 1866.) Wake Up - Petit Biscuit feat. Bipolar Sunshine (H) 1867.) Waking Up In Vegas - Katy Perry (H) 1868.) Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson (H) 1869.) Walk Away (Remember Me) - Paula DeAnda (S) 1870.) Walk Through Hell - Say Anything (S) 1871.) Walkin’ on the Sun - Smash Mouth (H) 1872.) Walking On a Dream - Empire of the Sun (H) 1873.) Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ - Michael Jackson (H) 1874.) Wannabe - Spice Girls (H) 1875.) Want U Back - Cher Lloyd (H) 1876.) War of My Life - John Mayer (S) 1877.) Warmest Regards - Half Moon Run (S) 1878.) Wasted - Cartel (H) 1879.) Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae) - Silento (H) 1880.) watch you sleep. - girl in red (S) 1881.) Water Under the Bridge - Adele (H) 1882.) Waterfalls - TLC (H) 1883.) Wave - Justin Timberlake (H) 1883.) Waves - Mr. Probz feat. Robin Schulz (H) 1884.) The Way - Ariana Grande feat. Mac Miller (H) 1885.) The Way I Are - Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson (H) 1886.) The Way I Live - Baby Boy Da Prince feat. Lil Boosie (H) 1887.) The Way I Loved You - Taylor Swift (S) 1888.) The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra (H) 1889.) The Way You Love Me - Faith Hill (H) 1890.) The Way You Move - Outkast (H) 1891.) We Be Burnin’ - Sean Paul (H) 1892.) We Belong Together - Mariah Carey (H) 1893.) We Can Try - Between The Trees (S) 1894.) we fell in love in october - girl in red (S) 1895.) We Fly High (Ballin’) - Jim Jones (H) 1896.) We Found Love - Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris (H) 1897.) We Made You - Eminem (H) 1898.) We Ride - Rihanna (H) 1899.) We Run This - Missy Elliott (H) 1900.) We’re At the Top of the World - The Juliana Theory (H) 1901.) The Weekend - SZA (S) 1902.) Welcome to Hollywood - Beyonce (H) 1903.) Welcome to My Life - Simple Plan (S) 1904.) Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance (H) 1905.) What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera (H) 1906.) What Goes Around Comes Around - Justin Timberlake (H) 1907.) What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts (S) 1908.) What I’ve Done - LINKIN PARK (S) 1909.) What Is Love - Haddaway (H) 1910.) What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction (H) 1911.) What Would You Do? - City High (H) 1912.) What You Got - Colby O’ Donis feat. Akon (H) 1913.) What You Know - T.I. (H) 1914.) What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club (H) 1915.) What You Waiting For? - Gwen Stefani (H) 1916.) What You Wanted - OneRepublic (H) 1917.) What’s Left of Me - Nick Lachey (S) 1918.) What’s Luv? - Fat Joe feat. Ashanti (H) 1919.) What’s My Age Again? - blink-182 (H) 1920.) What’s My Name? - Rihanna feat. Drake (H) 1921.) What’s Your Fantasy - Ludacris (H) 1922.) Whataya Want from Me - Adam Lambert (H) 1923.) Whatcha Say - Jason Derulo (H) 1924.) Whatever It Takes - Lifehouse (S) 1925.) Whatever You Like - T.I. (H) 1926.) Whatta Man - En Vogue & Salt-N-Pepa (H) 1927.) When Did Your Heart Go Missing? - Rooney (H) 1928.) When Doves Cry - Prince (H) 1929.) When I Grow Up - The Pussycat Dolls (H) 1930.) When I Look At You - Miley Cyrus (S) 1931.) When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars (S) 1932.) When I’m Gone - Wiz Khalifa (S) 1933.) When I’m Gone - 3 Doors Down (S) 1934.) When It Started - The Strokes (H) 1935.) When It’s Over - Sugar Ray (H) 1936.) When We First Met - Hellogoodbye (H) 1937.) When We Were Young - Adele (S) 1938.) When You Look Me In the Eyes - Jonas Brothers (S) 1939.) When You Were Young - The Killers (H) 1940.) When You’re Around - Motion City Soundtrack (H) 1941.) When You’re Gone - Avril Lavigne (S) 1942.) When You’re Mad - Ne-Yo (H) 1943.) Whenever, Wherever - Shakira (H) 1944.) Where Have You Been - Rihanna (H) 1945.) Where Is the Love? - The Black Eyed Peas (S) 1946.) Where the Party At - Jagged Edge (H) 1947.) Where Them Girls At - David Guetta, Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj (H) 1948.) Wherever You Will Go - The Calling (S) 1949.) Which to Bury: Us or the Hatchet - Relient K (S) 1950.) Whistle - Flo Rida (H) 1951.) Whistle While You Twurk - Ying Yang Twins (H) 1952.) White Flag - Dido (S) 1953.) White Horse - Taylor Swift (S) 1954.) White Houses - Vanessa Carlton (H) 1955.) White Iverson - Post Malone (H) 1956.) Who Dat Girl - Flo Rida feat. Akon (H) 1957.) Who I Am - Nick Jonas & The Administration (H) 1958.) Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been - Relient K (H) 1959.) Who Knew - P!nk (S) 1960.) Who Let the Dogs Out - Baha Men (H) 1961.) Who Says - Selena Gomez & The Scene (H) 1962.) Who Says You Can’t Go Home - Bon Jovi & Jennifer Nettles (H) 1963.) Who We Are - Lifehouse (H) 1964.) Who Will Love You Now - Mitzi (S) 1965.) Whoa Oh! (Me vs. Everyone) - Forever the Sickest Kids (H) 1966.) Whoever She Is - The Maine (H) 1967.) Whoomp! (There It Is) - Tag Team (H) 1968.) Why Can’t I? - Liz Phair (S) 1969.) Why Don’t You & I - Santana (H) 1970.) Why Don’t You Kiss Her? - Jesse McCartney (S) 1971.) Why Georgia - John Mayer (H) 1972.) Why Not - Hilary Duff (H) 1973.) Why You Wanna - T.I. (H) 1974.) Wild Ones - Flo Rida feat. Sia (H) 1975.) Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift (H) 1976.) Wind It Up - Gwen Stefani (H) 1977.) With Arms Wide Open - Creed (S) 1978.) With You - Chris Brown (H) 1979.) With You - Jessica Simpson (H) 1980.) Without Me - Eminem (H) 1981.) Without You - Lana Del Rey (S) 1982.) Without You - David Guetta feat. Usher (H) 1983.) Wolves - Selena Gomez & Marshmello (H) 1984.) Womanizer - Britney Spears (H) 1985.) Won’t Go Home Without You - Maroon 5 (S) 1986.) Wonderful - Gary Go (H) 1987.) Wonderin’ Why - Aer (H) 1988.) Wonderwall - Oasis (S) 1989.) Work It - Missy Elliott (H) 1990.) Work Out - J. Cole (H) 1991.) Workin’ It Out - Hilary Duff (H) 1992.) Worth It - Fifth Harmony feat. Kid Ink (H) 1993.) Wouldn’t It Be Nice - The Beach Boys (H) 1994.) Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too - Say Anything (H)

1995.) XO - Beyonce (H) 1996.) XO (Cover) - John Mayer (S)

1997.) Yamaha Mama - Soulja Boy (H) 1998.) Yeah 3X - Chris Brown (H) 1999.) Yeah! - Usher feat. Lil Jon & Ludacris (H) 2000.) Year 3000 - Jonas Brothers (H) 2001.) Yellow - Coldplay (S) 2002.) Yo (Excuse Me Miss) - Chris Brown (H) 2003.) You - The Afters (S) 2004.) You - Chris Brown (H) 2005.) You - Switchfoot (S) 2006.) You - Lloyd feat. Lil Wayne (H) 2007.) You Always Hurt the One You Love - The Mills Brothers (S) 2008.) You and I - Anarbor (H) 2009.) You and I - Ingrid Michaelson (H) 2010.) You and I Both - Jason Mraz (H) 2011.) You and Me - Lifehouse (S) 2012.) You and Me - Penny & The Quarters (S) 2013.) You Are a Tourist - Death Cab for Cutie (H) 2014.) You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift (H) 2015.) You Can Call Me Al - Paul Simon (H) 2016.) You Can Get It All - Bow Wow (H) 2017.) You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol (S) 2018.) You Da One - Rihanna (H) 2019.) You Don’t Know My Name - Alicia Keys (S) 2020.) (You Drive Me) Crazy - Britney Spears (H) 2021.) You Found Me - The Fray (S) 2022.) You Get What You Give - New Radicals (H) 2023.) You Give Me Something - James Morrison (H) 2024.) You Got Me - Colbie Caillat (H) 2025.) You Gotta Be - Des’ree (H) 2026.) You Know You Like it - DJ Snake & AlunaGeorge (H) 2027.) You Make My Dreams - Daryl Hall & John Oates (H) 2028.) You Might Be Sleeping - Jakob Ogawa feat. Clairo (S) 2029.) You Only Live Once - The Strokes (H) 2030.) You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette (H) 2031.) You Say - Lauren Daigle (S) 2032.) You Take My Troubles Away - Rachael Yamagata & Dan Wilson (H) 2033.) You’ll Be on My Mind - Jakob Ogawa (S) 2034.) You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine - Lou Rawls (H) 2035.) You’re Beautiful - James Blunt (S) 2036.) You’re Not Sorry - Taylor Swift (S) 2037.) You’re Not There - Lukas Graham (S) 2038.) You’re Still The One - Shania Twain (S) 2039.) Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Rey (S) 2040.) Your Body - Pretty Ricky (H) 2041.) Your Body Is a Wonderland - John Mayer (H) 2042.) Your Eyes Open - Keane (S) 2043.) Your Love - Nicki Minaj (H) 2044.) Your New Cuckoo - The Cardigans (H)

2045.) Zombie - The Cranberries (S)

2046.) 1 Thing - Amerie (H) 2047.) 1-800-273-8255 - Logic feat. Alessia Cara (S) 2048.) 1, 2, 3, 4 - Plain White T’s (H) 2049.) 2 Hold U - Clairo (S) 2050.) 2 Step - Unk (H) 2051.) 3 am - Matchbox Twenty (H) 2052.) 03′ Bonnie & Clyde - Jay-Z & Beyonce (H) 2053.) 3rd Planet - Modest Mouse (S) 2054.) 4 In the Morning - Gwen Stefani (H) 2055.) 4am - girl in red (S) 2056.) 4EVER - Clairo (H) 2057.) 5 O’ Clock - T-Pain feat. Wiz Khalifa & Lily Allen (H) 2058.) 7 Things - Miley Cyrus (H) 2059.) 7 Years - Lukas Graham (S) 2060.) 7/11 - Beyonce (H) 2061.) 21 Questions - 50 Cent (H) 2062.) 22 - Taylor Swift (H) 2063.) 24K Magic - Bruno Mars (H) 2064.) 30 Days - Never Shout Never (S) 2065.) 48 to Go - The Fray (S) 2066.) 100 Years - Five for Fighting (S) 2067.) 100% Pure Love - Crystal Waters (H) 2068.) 1901 - Phoenix (H) 2069.) 1961 - The Fray (H) 2070.) 1979 - The Smashing Pumpkins (H) 2071.) 1980s Horror Film II - Wallows (S) 2072.) 1985 - Bowling for Soup (H) 2073.) 1999 - Prince (H) Additional afterwards: Aftermath - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein (S) Amazing - Kanye West feat. Young Jeezy (H) Anthem, Pt. 2 - blink-182 (H) A Higher Place - Adam Levine (H) Busy Guy - Hans Zimmer & Hollywood Studio Symphony (H) Butterfly - Jason Mraz (H) Candy - Mandy Moore (H) Candy - Nat King Cole (H) The Candy Man - Aubrey Woods (H) Cheetah Sisters - The Cheetah Girls (H) Chelsea - Stefy (H) Cinderella - The Cheetah Girls (H) Come Baby Come - K7 (H) Courtesy Laughs - Phoenix (H) Definitely Unexpected - Hans Zimmer & Hollywood Studio Symphony (H) Destroying the Castle - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein (S) Do You Believe In Magic - Aly & AJ (H) Everyday - Buddy Holly (H) Girl Power - Cheetah Girls (H) Grapefruit - Almondmilkhunni (H) Greatest Time of Year - Aly & AJ (H) Hanging On - Cheyenne Kimball (H) Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros (H) I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do) - Daryl Hall & John Oates (H) I Like Presents Too - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein (S) I Like What You Say - Nada Surf (H) I Will Remember You - Ryan Cabrera (S) It’s Not My Boy - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein (S) Joy - Bastille (H) Juice - Lizzo (H) Lollipop - The Chordettes (H) Lost Stars - Adam Levine (S) Maestro - Hans Zimmer & Hollywood Studio Symphony (S) Maria - The Dave Brubeck Quarter (H) Mr. Sandman - The Chordettes (H) Never Ending Story - Gaten Matarazzo & Gabriella Pizzolo (H) No One - Aly & AJ (S) No One Else Like You - Adam Levine (H) Not Kids Anymore - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein (S) One Love - Jordan Pruitt (H) Outside Looking In - Jordan Pruitt (S) Peer Pressure - Jon Brion (S) Potential Breakup Song - Aly & AJ (H) Pretty Ugly - Tierra Whack (H) Pure Imagination - Gene Wilder (H) North - Phoenix (S) Numb/Encore - JAY-Z & LINKIN PARK (H) Stand By Me - Ben E. King (H) Starcourt - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein (S) Stranger Things - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein (H) Sunflower - Post Malone & Swae Lee (H) thank u, next - Ariana Grande (H) Theme from “Shaft” - Isaac Hayes (H) The Winner Is - DeVotchKa (S) Together We Can - The Cheetah Girls (H) Tribulations - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein (S) Voyeurism - Geoff Zanelli (S)

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

2017 Radio Disney Music Awards: The Complete Winners List

The 2017 Radio Disney Music Awards kicked off Saturday at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles, California, celebrating kids' favorite musical artists, social media stars and songs!

Hosted by Jordan Fisher, Kelsea Ballerini, Sofia Carson, Jenna Ortega and Alex Aiono, the RDMAs honored Britney Spears with the Icon Award and Nick Jonas with the Hero Award.

RELATED: Britney Spears to Be Honored With First-Ever 'Icon' Award at 2017 Radio Disney Music Awards!

See more of the night's winners below:

Icon Award

**WINNER: Britney Spears

Hero Award

**WINNER: Nick Jonas

She's the One - Best Female Artist

**WINNER: Ariana Grande

Katy Perry

Lady Gaga

Meghan Trainor

Selena Gomez

He's the One - Best Male Artist

Bruno Mars

Justin Bieber

**WINNER: Niall Horan

Nick Jonas

Shawn Mendes

RELATED: Britney Spears' Sons Meet Nick Jonas at the Radio Disney Music Awards

You Know You Love Them - Best Group

DNCE

**WINNER: Fifth Harmony

One Direction

The Chaimsmokers

Twenty One Pilots

The Bestest - Song of the Year

"Cake by the Ocean" - DNCE

"Can't Stop the Feeling!" - Justin Timberlake

"Closer" - The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey

"Sit Still, Look Pretty" - Daya

**WINNER: "Treat You Better" - Shawn Mendes

The Buzz - Breakout Artist of the Year

**WINNER: Alessia Cara

Daya

DNCE

Hailee Steinfeld

Kelsea Ballerini

RELATED: Camila Cabello, Noah Cyrus, Hailee Steinfeld & More Stun at Radio Disney Music Awards!

The Freshest - Best New Artist

**WINNER: Grace Vanderwaal

John Bellion

Jordan Fisher

Julia Michaels

Noah Cyrus

Mashup - Best Collaboration

**WINNER: "Bad Things" - Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Cabello

"Beauty and the Beast" - Ariana Grande and John Legend

"I Don't Wanna Live Forever" - Taylor Swift and Zayn Malik

"Just Hold On" - Steve Aoki and Louis Tomlinson

"We Don't Talk Anymore" - Charlie Puth feat. Selena Gomez

XOXO - Best Crush Song

**WINNER: "Let Me Love You" - DJ Snake feat. Justin Bieber

"On Purpose" - Sabrina Carpenter "Starving" - Hailee Steinfeld and Grey feat. Zedd

"Wild" - Troye Sivan feat. Alessia Cara

"Yeah Boy" - Kelsea Ballerini

#SquadGoals - Fiercest Fans

Beliebers (Justin Bieber)

**WINNER: Harmonizers (Fifth Harmony)

Megatronz (Meghan Trainor)

Mendes Army (Shawn Mendes)

Selenators (Selena Gomez)

RELATED: Raven-Symone Hits the Radio Disney Music Awards Red Carpet With the Cast of 'Raven's Home'

So Happy - Best Song That Makes You Smile

**WINNER: "24K Magic" - Bruno Mars

"Can't Stop the Feeling!" - Justin Timberlake

"HandClap" - Fitz and The Tantrums

"Juju on That Beat" - Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall

"Me Too" - Meghan Trainor

Stuck in Our Heads - Best Song to Lip Sync To

"Bacon" - Nick Jonas feat. Ty Dolla $ign

"Cake by the Ocean" - DNCE

"Closer" - The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey

"No" - Meghan Trainor

**WINNER: "Work" - Rihanna feat. Drake

When the Beat Drops - Best Dance Track

"Alone" - Marshmello

**WINNER: "Cold Water" - Major Lazer featuring Justin Bieber and MØ

"Don't Let Me Down" - The Chainsmokers featuring Daya

"Millionaire" - Cash Cash and Digital Farm Animals featuring Nelly

"Never Forget You" - Zara Larsson and MNEK

Heartbreak - Best Breakup Song

"i hate u, i love u" - Gnash feat. Olivia O'Brien

"Make Me (Cry)" - Noah Cyrus featuring Labrinth

**WINNER: "Shout Out to My Ex" - Little Mix

"Sorry" - Justin Bieber

"We Don't Talk Anymore" - Charlie Puth feat. Selena Gomez

EXCLUSIVE: Raven-Symone Says She Still Keeps In Touch With Her Former 'View' Co-Stars: 'It's Bittersweet'

I'm With the Band - Favorite Tour

21 Tour - Hunter Hayes

Future Now Tour - Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas

Purpose World Tour - Justin Bieber

**WINNER: Revival Tour - Selena Gomez

The Untouchable Tour - Meghan Trainor

The Bestest - Radio Disney Country Favorite Artist

Dan + Shay

Florida Georgia Line

**WINNER: Kelsea Ballerini

Maddie & Tae

Sam Hunt

The Freshest - Radio Disney Country Best New Artist

Lauren Alaina

**WINNER: Maren Morris

Old Dominion

RaeLynn

Temecula Road

Play It Again - Radio Disney Country Favorite Song

"80s Mercedes" - Maren Morris

"From the Ground Up" - Dan + Shay

"HOLY" - Florida Georgia Line

**WINNER: "Peter Pan - Kelsea Ballerini

"Think of You - Chris Young with Cassadee Pope

#Trending - Favorite Social Media Star

Alex Aiono

Baby Ariel

Jacob Sartorius

**WINNER: Jake Paul 

Jiffpom

The 2017 Radio Disney Music Awards airs Sunday at 7 p.m. ET on the Disney Channel.

WATCH: Kelsea Ballerini, Hailee Steinfeld and Sofia Carson Joining Forces for Britney Spears Tribute -- Get the Details

[tellusepisode]

The Soloist (2009)

Biography, Drama, Music |

The Soloist is a drama film directed by Joe Wright, and starring Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr. The film was released in theatres on 24 April 2009 and on DVD and Blu-ray August 5.

In 2005, Steve Lopez is a journalist working for the Los Angeles Times. He is divorced and now works for his ex-wife, Mary, an editor. A biking accident lands Lopez in a hospital.

One day, he hears a violin being played beautifully. Investigating, he encounters Nathaniel Ayers, a homeless man with schizophrenia, who is playing a violin when Lopez introduces himself. During the conversation that follows, Lopez learns that Ayers once attended Juilliard.

Curious as to how a former student of such a prestigious school ended up on the streets, Lopez contacts Juilliard but learns that no record of Ayers graduating from it exists. Though at first figuring a man with schizophrenia who’s talented with a cello isn’t worth his time, Lopez soon realizes that he has no better story to write about. Luckily, he soon learns that Ayers did attend Juilliard, but dropped out after two years.

Finding Ayers the next day, Lopez says he wants to write about him. Ayers doesn’t appear to be paying attention. Getting nowhere, Lopez finds and contacts Ayers’ sister, who gives the columnist the information he needs: Ayers was once a child prodigy with the cello, until he began displaying symptoms of schizophrenia at Juilliard.

Director: Joe Wright

Writers: Susannah Grant (screenplay), Steve Lopez (book)

Stars: Jamie Foxx, Robert Downey Jr., Catherine Keener, Tom Hollander, LisaGay Hamilton, Nelsan Ellis, Rachael Harris

►Cast:

Jamie Foxx…Nathaniel AyersRobert Downey Jr.…Steve LopezCatherine Keener…Mary WestonTom Hollander…Graham ClaydonLisaGay Hamilton…Jennifer AyersNelsan Ellis…David CarterRachael Harris…Leslie BloomStephen Root…Curt ReynoldsLorraine Toussaint…Flo AyersJustin Martin…Young NathanielKokayi Ampah…Bernie CarpenterPatrick Tatten…Paul Jr.Susane Lee…Marisa (as Susane E. Lee)Marcos De Silvas…Mayor VillaraigosaIlia Volok…Harry BarnoffMichael Bunin…Adam CraneMike Nowak…Julliard ConductorJena Malone…Cheery Lab TechOctavia Spencer…Troubled WomanDavid Jean Thomas…Angry Homeless ManLemon Andersen…Uncle Tommy (as Lemon Anderson)Kevin Michael Key…Homeless TransvestiteMoya Brady…Barely Dressed WomanOrlando Ashley…LAMP Homeless GuyArtel Great…LeonJ.J. Boone…Shouting WomanAnnie McKnight…LAMP AdvocateBernadette Speakes…Homeless LadyAnna Levin…Leeann (as Lee Anna Levin)Steve Foster…SteveVivian George…Teresa (as Vivian Terresa George)Kevin Cohen…KKCourtney Andre…CourtneyTeri Hughes…DetroitLinda Harris…LindaAlbert Olson…Bam BamMelissa Black…MelissaValarie Hudspeth…Mama GrouchDarryl Black Sr.…DarrylKiana Parker…KianaHazard Banner…HazardRussell Brown…RussellKenneth Henry…SimoneJacqueline Sue West…JackieJoyre Manuel…AshleyLorinda Hawkins Smith…Singing Woman (as Lorinda Hawkins)Annette Valley…AnnettePatrick Kelly…PatrickQuiana Farrow…QuianaTony Genaro…Globe Lobby GuardCharlie Weirauch…AtheistWayne Lopez…Cop With TentsJoe Hernandez-Kolski…EMT #1Noel Gugliemi…Winston Street Cop (as Noel G.)Paul Cruz…EMT #2Wil Garret…Homeless ManHalbert Hernandez…EMT #3 (as Halbert Bernal)Alejandro Patiño…Construction WorkerKarole Selmon…Homeless Woman #1Rob Nagle…NeilPatricia Place…Cello DonorRalph Cole Jr.…Enraged Homeless ManGladys Khan…Reception Nurse (as Gladys Peters)Palma Lawrence Reed…ER NurseIsabel Hubmann…Laid-Off EmployeeBonita Jefferson…Homeless Woman #2Eshana O’Neal…Winston Street ProstituteMyia Hubbard…Young Jennifer AyersIyanna Newborn…Miss Little JohnBronwyn Hardy…Beauty Shop GirlTroy Blendell…New EditorNick Nervies…Jennifer’s SonPaul Norwood…EditorDon Abernathy…Los Angeles Times EmployeeJustin Aguila…Homeless manRio Ahn…Mayor Villaraigosa’s AideMeggan Anderson…FlutistJulia Anna Barrios…E.R Visitor (Hoochie)Laura Beckner…Juilliard StudentMatt Besser…Commuter #4Elena Nikitina Bick…BallerinaKimberly Bishop…LA Times StaffPete Brown…ComposerJoshua Cabrera…Teenage MusicianGerry Carbajal…PolicemanJason Cekanski…Brawling Frat GuyMike Cochrane…Homeless ManDavid Cohen…PhotographerIngrid Coree…NurseBridget Coulter…Disney Hall PatronElise D’Orazio…Concert AttendeeDoby Daenger…Mental PatientYoulanda Davis…Bag LadyAurelius DiBarsanti…ParamedicBonita Dorssom…Airport ExtraJohnny Drocco…Hospital OrderlyWindy Duncan…Radisson GuestPaul Edney…DriverS. Zev Esquenazi…Sgt. HendricksonAngela Featherstone…Commuter #1

Sources: imdb & wikipedia

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[the-master-cylinder]

Bug (1975)

SUMMARY An earthquake releases a bunch of mutant cockroaches that can create fire by rubbing their cerci together. Eventually, most of the bugs die because they cannot survive in the low air pressure on the Earth’s surface, but a scientist, Professor James Parmiter (Dillman), keeps one alive in a pressure chamber. He successfully breeds the mutant cockroach with a modern cockroach, creating a breed of intelligent, flying super-cockroaches.

DEVELOPMENT/PRODUCTION Filmed in Panavision and Technicolor by cinematographer Michel Hugo, “Bug”, based on Thomas Page’s novel “The Hephaestus Plague”, is brought to the screen as a William Castle Production for Paramount Pictures. Jeannot Szwarc served as director. The assignment marks Paris-born Szwarc’s second credit as a theatrical film director. Szwarc also has a long list of credits as a writer, producer and director of television shows and made-for-television movies. The screen adaptation of “Bugs” was written by author Thomas Page and producer Castle.

In “Bug”, a deadly force is loosed among us. Not Martians or lethal bacteria from outer space, but fire roaches, thousands of them swarming, black and eyeless from a chasm opened in California by an earthquake.

As old as the dinosaurs and intelligent as the primates, they feed upon carbon, creating their dinners instantly by burning cars, houses, people, animals, whatever is in their path, with a flame that spurts from their exhaust. Moving by an ingenius method and shrugging off all attempts to destroy them, the bugs threaten to ignite the entire city of Riverside, California, before moving on to take over and destroy the rest of the country.

The plot becomes increasingly tense with the slow realization that something is terribly wrong. Events slide imperceptibly from what is real to what is conceivable and then perhaps beyond. Then, the fascinated scientist, who has come to identify himself with the dreadful bugs, discovers how to kill them, and they are killed-except for one that he breeds to a common roach. Then emerges the second generation: more deadly, alarming, intelligent and versatile than before.

The principal cockroach actors playing title roles in “Bug” are laboratory-grown cockroaches trained for their screen chores by an entomology scientist at the University of California at Riverside. Two weeks of location scenes were filmed at Riverside and its surroundings. Numerous outdoor sites were utilized by the camera as background in this historical territory, including the University of California (Riverside). The script called for the story to be laid in a small university town, and Castle felt that Riverside was an absolutely perfect choice.

The location filming generated extreme interest with the local residents, with many natives and UC college students hired to work as actors in the film.

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Hollywood has a stimulating effect on a town whenever a film unit arrives to shoot location scenes. To begin with, a record fleet of equipment-carrying vehicles, including an $85,000 Chapman camera crane truck, rolled into Riverside for the shooting. Almost 100 studio technicians scurried about, changing local landmarks to fit the script’s requirements.

“Bug” was a real event to the residents of this quiet, agricultural center, which is the home of the first navel orange grown in America, and the filming meant a huge financial boost to Riverside. Motels, banks, restaurants, sporting goods stores, gift shops, etc., were all the recipients of a financial bonanza as the result of the movie company locating there. Producer Castle estimates that a half million dollars was spent in Riverside before the company headed for home and the interior scenes filmed on the sound stages at Paramount in Hollywood.

The living room and kitchen sets from The Brady Bunch were reused in this film, although the living room set was rearranged slightly to a smaller footprint. Aside from a paint job, the kitchen set was otherwise unaltered.

CAST/CREW Directed Jeannot Szwarc

Produced William Castle

Written William Castle Thomas Page

Based The Hephaestus Plague (1973 novel) by Thomas Page

Bradford Dillman as Professor James Parmiter Joanna Miles as Carrie Parmiter Richard Gilliland as Gerald Metbaum Jamie Smith-Jackson as Norma Tacker Alan Fudge as Professor Mark Ross Jesse Vint as Tom Tacker Patty McCormack as Sylvia Ross Brendan Dillon as Charlie

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Quasimodos Monster Magazine#07

  The Nest (1988)

SUMMARY The sheriff of this small island town called North Port has a roach problem in his house. According to the local exterminator Homer (played by Stephen Davies), it turns out the whole town is about to have a big roach problem. Pets, and then people, begin to disappear or turn up dead and mutilated.

Although Sheriff Richard Tarbell (played by Frank Luz) is dating Lillian, the owner of the local eatery, his high school sweetheart Elizabeth Johnson returns to the island after a four-year absence and their romance blooms again. Elizabeth (played by Lisa Langlois) happens to be the daughter of the town’s mayor, Elias Johnson (played by Robert Lansing), who is in cahoots with an evil corporation called INTEC that has been secretly breeding mutant roaches that are immune to normal insect repellants. They also seem to have the ability to assume the form of anything they kill, leading to some animal/roach hybrids and even 2 roach/human combos.

DEVELOPMENT Made by Concord Pictures, directed by Terence H. Winkless, who will be making his debut. He is a co-author of The Howling (1981) script and a horror movie freak. Kelly Howe, who is also a member of the SFX team “Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)” is in charge of SFX. He is a newcomer and creates a powerful monster that is as competitive as a real cockroach flock.

The filmmakers utilized 2,000 flying cockroaches during filming at Quicksilver Studios in Venice, Los Angeles. When some of the insects escaped into nearby dressing rooms, the American Humane Association were unable to assist them as the organization must be contacted prior to shooting on matters concerning insects.

The result is yet another first: the first solid, quality horror film from Concorde, which usually turns out campy cheapies like Munchies and Chopping Mall. Not only is it gut-level effective, but it sports a surprisingly slick, polished look for its budget of less than $1 million. Based on a novel by Eli Cantor (published under the pseudonym Gregory A. Douglas).

What attracted Winkless to Robert King’s screenplay, however, was not the horror as much as the story’s potential for humor. “What I liked about the script was the fact that you could do some comedy with it,” he explains. “If you try to take the bugs completely seriously, you’re going to fall on your face. I think the movie bears that out. Life gets really absurd sometimes, and what better way to talk about how absurd it is than when the fat lady is lying in bed and the bugs are crawling down her cast? You can’t take it seriously; it would never be true horror like Halloween or ALIEN, but it could be sort of comic horror.”

The movie’s best comic achievement is the character of Homer (Stephen Davies), the island’s resident exterminator, who prefers to be called a “pest control agent” and is barely fazed by the horrific goings-on around him. “Ostensibly, the hero of the piece is the sheriff (Franc Luz), but I’ve always been sort of a closet anarchist, so my hero in the movie is Homer. He’s really the guy who winds up saving the island.” Winkless reserves special praise for Davies, an old friend he fought Concorde to use. “He’s a brilliant actor,” raves the director. “One of these days he’s going to be a big star.”

Winkless first met Davies through fellow USC film school alumnus John (The Razor’s Edge) Byrum, who wasn’t the only classmate of his to become well known; John Carpenter, Dan O’Bannon and Nick Castle attended the school at the same time. Prior to working behind the camera, Winkless’ first professional job was as an actor of sorts, playing the gorilla in the kids’ TV show The Banana Splits. He went on to become a scriptwriter, his best-known credit undoubtedly the one he shares with John Sayles for the screenplay adaptation of Gary Brandner’s The Howling.

According to Winkless, though, this work was not collaborative; he has never actually met Sayles. “I worked only with Joe Dante and producer Mike Finnell,” Winkless recalls. “They had bought the book, and all they kept was the title. They threw out the book, and we started from scratch. I did my draft, and then they had Sayles do another draft after me. I admire his work – and I hope he admires mine!”

Winkless had been in constant contact with Concorde president Roger Corman since then, and his agent was a friend of Corman’s wife Julie, who produced The Nest. When said agent found out that the Cormans needed a director for the buggy saga, he advised Winkless to go for it, and Winkless found himself attaining every scriptwriter’s dream: directing his first feature. He describes the experience as “my greatest fantasy and my worst nightmare. The scariest thing about it was that, to a certain extent, I could predict what the actors would do, what the cameraman would do and what the editors would do, but you couldn’t at all predict what the bugs were going to do. For a first-time director, having this great unknown factor was a thrill.

“Actually, that was more humorous than anything else,” Winkless continues. “I was constantly shouting, More bugs! More bugs! Of course, there were never enough bugs, and they were always escaping. I kept stooping down and picking them up, and I’d get pissed off finally and start stepping on them because I was angry that they were getting away. Then I would stop and think, ‘My God, I’m stepping on my stars!

As the movie’s roaches continue to mutate, they begin to genetically combine with the creatures they eat, resulting in a number of grotesque hybrids. FX man Cary Howe was responsible for creating the monsters, including a feline roach creature and a man transformed into a humanoid insect. There’s also a giant roach/human “queen” that is faced down by the sheriff and the mayor’s daughter (Lisa Langlois) in the finale.

Originally, this last monster was to have lurked in the shadows, but Winkless found Howe’s work impressive enough to bring it out into the light. “Cary had put an arm on it that would move, and the producers said, “Gee, that’s terrific, can you put another arm there, and there, and over there?’ So they kept adding appendages. It was all for the same money, so Cary had his work cut out for him. But it worked out great.”

The genesis was that I had the type of assistant everyone needs, and that is someone who comes in Monday morning and says, “You haven’t read this script, you need to have this meeting” and gives you the agenda for the week. Her name was Lynin Whitney. She came in one Monday morning and said, “Hey, wanna make a bug movie?” and I said, “Only if you do all the work.” The Nest was a novel [by Eli Cantor, using the pseudonym Gregory A. Douglas] Lynn found. We acquired the rights, and the screenplay was written by Robert King, who went on to create the series The Good Wife with his wife, Michelle. The director, Terry Winkless, was originally an actor-a clown, in fact-on television, so he is very good with actors. He went to film school and became a director. I think The Nest is underrated. – Roger Corman on The Nest

CAST/CREW Directed Terence H. Winkless

Produced Julie Corman

Written Robert King

Based on The Nest by Eli Cantor

Robert Lansing Lisa Langlois Franc Luz Terri Treas Diana Bellamy

Music Rick Conrad

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Gorezone#02 Fangoria#328

DOUBLE FEATURE RETROSPECTIVE – Bug (1975)/The Nest (1988) Bug (1975) SUMMARY An earthquake releases a bunch of mutant cockroaches that can create fire by rubbing their cerci together.