#side note: on the queer instead of gay

[idolomantises]

I find Sarcastic Chorus's video on why he's quitting Helluva Boss really interesting but I'm kind of baffled by the number of people straight up not understanding his reasoning for quitting. I think it's interesting how both his video and the online reaction to it is basically the consequences of modern fandoms treating art like its something to mindlessly consume and not worth analyzing and critiqing, or else you're consuming it "wrong".

Like his argument isn't that he hates the show or that he was forcing himself to criticize the show, in fact one of his main problems was that he couldn't be MORE honest in his reviews because of how fans would react to it. The problem was that when your job is to analyze a show, and it has way too many problems to ignore, and you're dealing with a hyper-sensitive fanbase that's hostile to criticism, you end up feeling exhausted or flat out disinterested in reviewing it.

I actually find it really concerning that fans are coping so hard with him quitting that they're framing it like its his problem because he was "looking for problems on purpose" when it was pretty obvious that it genuinely makes him kind of miserable trying to pick apart the show's issues. I remember when he was SO confident that Hazbin Hotel would be amazing and "prove the haters wrong" only for him to acknowledge that it was a complete mess. I'm honestly more confused by the fans who watch a reviewer and then get mad when he... reviews things. It's not even that they disagree with him, but the audacity to even point out very noticeable flaws in the product is enough to set them off and accuse him of being a clout chaser and a hater. Like do you want to see a review or did you just want to watch someone lie to you and blindly praise a series for 30 minutes, because i find it really odd that so many fans are insistent that he should've done the latter.

I also got pretty annoyed by this insistence that he wouldn't have turned on this show if he didnt criticize it and "turned his brain off" instead which is the same stupid excuse people gave for Hazbin's sloppy writing. and I just find that just... baffling? Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, as extremely flawed as they are, are clearly shows made with the clear intention of being taken seriously. Ffs the crew calls Helluva Boss "queer Bojack Horseman". Helluva Boss tackles topics like abuse, trauma, classism, racism, toxic relationships and redemption and Hazbin Hotel tackles themes like sexual trauma and abuse, redemption and religious oppression. But the problem is that both shows do it so poorly that people genuinely think that it's meant to be slop content that you're just supposed to turn your brain off and listen to.

I'm not going to forget when these fans were treating Helluva Boss's season 1 like peak queer representation and writing and insistent that Angel Dust was this amazingly well written gay male character that people only hated because he was messy and imperfect. Honestly kind of funny that I was chastised for saying that Angel Dust is just a sex joke only for the show, the crew, the merch, and even the damn playbill reduce him to just that. Slapping on trauma (especially knowing that its more of a fetish than a genuine exploration on male sexual abuse) doesn't really negate the fact that Angel Dust is poorly written. Side note: his fans are way too unhinged and aggressive, its getting very weird.

So its funny to me that now that Helluva Boss season 2 completely nose dived and Hazbin Hotel is a sloppy mess that feels more geared for children than adults, that now people are being told they're not allowed to analyze these shows or even pay attention to their problems, and are treated like idiots for doing so.

I think the problem is that I kind of think fans also notice the lowered quality of writing in both shows. because why aren't people actually defending the writing and character progression? instead of "Sarcastic Chorus is wrong because his criticism is incorrect and misses these points" its "Sarcastic Chorus is wrong because he should have shut his brain off and treated these shows like its cocomelon for adults"

[queermediaismypassion]

hey so the ship doesn't fucking change in any way depending on who you think tops or bottoms in the bedroom. also some people switch! stop being so WEIRD about what gay people do in the bedroom.

i am so sick and tired of seeing people argue about ship names because of the stupid fucking practice of putting the top's name first. i'm talking people using harco instead of drarry cause they see harry as The Top (to use a ship most people know as example)

YOU'RE FUCKING WEIRD !!

the ship name should be determined by whatever the fuck sounds best. i've seen people trying to push for using "neuvithesley" over wriolette "because wrio is the bottom". i don't give a fuck what you prefer when you read about them, wriolette is just objectively a better name.

i've seen actual ship wars between people who ship the same two characters but think the top/bottom dynamic is so important that it changes the ship. just goes to show how many mlm shippers simply fetishize gay men and don't give a fuck about the actual relationship aspect.

what people prefer in bed is not necessarily reflected in their behavior in everyday life. not all gay couples have a sub/dom dynamic. some people like to switch it up. y'all seriously need to work on your stereotypes surrounding queer relationships.

not what this post is really about but side note: people also tend to feminize the percieved bottom so much. sometimes it gets to the point where it ends up looking like a straight relationship and it just smells a lot like lowkey homophobia with a whiff of internalized misogyny.

i don't necessarily think this is on purpose/done with malicious intent, but do better.

sorry this was very mlm heavy but femslash readers/writers are usually a lot less weird about this..

[stimmingandstruggling]

my dream for a modern live action death note:

- it takes itself completely seriously. i want ZERO irony/making fun of itself. i need some actor man to take a potato chip and eat it with total seriousness.

- light and L have an insane amount of tension, i’m talking destiel levels of eye sex and queerbaiting, but they are never allowed to kiss. maybe when L dies they get one ambiguously queer line. but it’s gotta stay at least a little bit ambiguous

- misa isn’t explicitly homophobic anymore but she is like That #ally (just more subtly homophobic) (obviously shes gay but she doesn’t know that yet). instead of “are you on THAT side of the fence ryuzaki” she’s like “it’s FINE if you’re gay but light is MY boyfriends and i just don’t think it’s APPROPRIATE” and L just ignores her completely. she claims L as her Gay Best Friend despite him never confirming if he’s queer and her not really liking him. for Diversity

- she’s like i can’t be homophobic i do a pride month photoshoot and L is like okay. i don’t care

- focus on how the 24 hour news cycle, overwhelming access to information, and constant fearmongering and doomscrolling drives light fucking crazy (sorry i have to be weird about light here)

- instead of a magazine light very blandly watches porn on his laptop. looking actively bored. L doesn’t say explicitly “your son is gay” but he looks over at soichiro and says something like “hm. he’s popular with girls, you said? okay.”

- some awful misa and light sex scene but it cuts between that and light at L’s grave, their months handcuffed together, etc. hannibal style or something idk i’ve never seen it i just got a play by play from a friend

- naomi gets a bigger part because she’s awesome

- light and L are stuck in ambiguously queer purgatory but rem is very explicitly in love with misa. they kiss once before she dies and from then on misa seems a little more subdued with light. like she’s not so sure she really wants him

- when the detectives are talking about L someone mentions how he’s “on the spectrum” and everyone nods seriously. later it’s mentioned again and L overhears and he’s like you can just say autistic. everyone apologizes profusely but he does not give a shit

[miwiheroes]

Byler + Closet Imagery

Just wanted to show just how much closet imagery and references there are in stranger things and how it's super obvious, that it's kind of insane that it goes over the GA's heads so much. It's mostly with Mike as well, funnily enough.

Closet imagery has been used in media over the years to show that a character might be gay but the audience/the other characters just don't know it yet.

For example, it was used here in Paper Girls (2022) for KJ who was not out as gay yet.

It was also used for Eyewitness (2016) with Lukas who also has internalised homophobia and we already know that Byler has had a parallel to Eyewitness before.

So, it's interesting that this closet imagery has been used for Mike and Byler ever since the show began in Season 1. Let's look at all the ways it has been used and how insane these are that some people deny them because UHHHH....

1. Mike hides El in his closet

Karen: "With all this that's been going on, with Will, I can't imagine what it's been like for you... i just-- want you to feel like you can talk to me. i never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. i'm here for you. okay?"

Mike: *is hiding El in the closet* *a noise comes from the closet after Karen says these things* *he lies about it* *Karen then hugs Mike later on when Will 'dies' HADGSJHDG*

2. Argues with El in a closet

I find it so funny how the framing here is El literally between Mike and some male dummy and then she grabs it from him LMAOO i love cinematography.

Mike: 'You are the most important thing to me in the worl-'

El: *interrupts him* 'What if [Hopper's] right?'

Mike: *feels attacked as she questions the legitimacy of their relationship while she holds a male dummy in the closet* "No, no no no. He's just some angry old man who hates joy."

Why are you questioning the sanity of someone instead of using actual arguments for your relationship?? Oh that's right, you're in the closet <3

3. Kisses El in front of a closet

Particularly, this is Will's closet as well.

El: "I love you too" *kisses Mike*

Mike: *makes disgusted/ confused face* *doesn't kiss back and has his eyes open* *has the light coming from the closet framed on his head as if he's realised something.*

El: *walks away smiling*

Mike: *looks to the side confused with an open closet next to him* *thinks What is wrong with me?/ What just happened here? (original script)*

Also the music is "The First I love You" which is the same music they use in a scene where Robin comes out of the closet.

4. Mike reads a letter from El in front of a lit up closet

Bro is reading a note with RAINBOWS ON IT and then the camera pans to him reading with a literal open closet which is lit up right next to him. How is this not blatant queer-coding??

Also Mike: *panics in front of a closet which has a ray of light shining on him* *has a one-way sign pointing into the closet which is revealed when he bends down*

I am going insane at this it's so funny

5. Argues with his bestie bro when a song called "In The Closet" plays

aka arguing with Will about how he sabotaged your day by ignoring you instead of your gf getting bullied x

Will: "Well we used to be best friends!"

Mike: *looks devastated as a song called "In The Closet (at Rink O' Mania)" plays when the camera goes back to him* "Well maybe you should've reached out more, I don't know. Why is this on me? Why am I the bad guy?"

El: *is hiding from Mike in a closet*

Why are you suddenly switching the blame Mike??? Oh girl you're a little too defensive

6. Mike and Will have a heart-to-heart in front of an open closet

Mike: "No, no you didn't deserve anything... Hawkins isn't the same without you... Maybe I was worrying too much about El... felt like I lost you or something... Friends, 🥺❤️ best friends."

All while Will is tearing up in front of a closet (also the picture here on the left literally has them framed on either side of an open closet WDYMMM)

Anyways,

Byler Endgame

[scentedpepper]

Cinderellas Slipper

BILLY HARGROVE X MALE READER

Summary: Billy tries to apologize but loses his slipper instead.

Content Warnings: "Queer" used in a derogatory manner. Brief mention of Billy and Reader having sexual relations. Established Relationships/Lore

Other Pairing(s): Steve Harrington x Male Reader, Jonathan Byers x Male Reader, Will Byers x Male Reader, Nancy Wheeler x Billy Hargrove (implied not said)

AUTHOR NOTE(S):

Writing specific scenes that pop into my head is much easier than committing to an entire fanfic :p

Feeling kinda meh abt this one guys idddkkkk

Uhhhhh Billy is gay bc I say so

No but that headcanon really gets my writer loins spinnin

The depth

Anyway

Billy's a wee bit jealous

👍

_________________________________________

Billy's not sure what lead him to this point.

But the moment he steps out of his Camaro he has to pause, place his hands on his hips, and pace. Once. Twice. Three times for good measure before his attention is redirected to his destination.

Depot Central.

"Hawkins for the Family" Or so the sign outside had stated.

It's 4:30 in the afternoon, you've only been on shift for 30 minutes.

Three and a half hours to go.

Billy has memorized your schedule like the back of his hand.

The depot wasn't small by any means, but most of its stores closed at the latest of six due to its small town status. The depot itself mainly used the second story to hoard it's products, what couldn't fit through the windows displayed itself like an open antique shop on the 1st floor, the remaining area that couldn't be utilized by the display lay store merchandise.

This was the third time in a row he'd come back to the depot.

The first time he'd be stepping inside.

If the place had more customers he would've stalled a little longer, maybe considered another 3 rounds of pacing the parking lot but there was no one in front of him when he stood off to the side, peering through the windows.

His hands find his hips again, pressing agaisnt the brown leather belt adorning his dark blue jeans. It was new. He'd went out and bought it a few days ago. Even went as far as hiding between the aisles of the women's section trying to scope out style.

He didn't buy the pink or purple belt, regardless of how "nice" you said those colors were on him. Instead, by a random struck of luck that felt unwarranted, he'd found one even more perfect. One in which the gems were arranged in a way that made it look like the night sky.

Fucking space because you were into that shit or whatever.

Gemstones on top of silver. And Billy felt like a star on the belt, big and prominent.

Maybe that was wishful thinking. He couldn't really reject the feeling of suffocating when the gems shined in the sunlight through the window panes beside him.

Girly.

Feminine.

Queer.

Billy tries to ignore them and in the process, he considers ditching his clothing choices for today and giving in to his original idea. But even so, with all he's been through, Billy isn't really aware that the things he's learned from you have stuck this long.

He'd scrubbed himself raw in the bathroom just 30 minutes ago. And he made sure to perfectly place the top portion of his maroon button up that was peeled open. And he dabbed cologne on every inch of his body, just in case the amount he had initially put on wasn't enough. And while he was driving he made sure to keep the cigarettes in his dash because he knew the smell, reminiscent of your father, was the sole reason you had never picked them up throughout your teenager years. Not even to just try.

So once more, everything right down to his clean socks were an item of scrutiny. He even had spare deodorant in his car if he started to sweat.

And for what? He didn't fucking know.

The urge to repeat his pacing however came and he knew very well what that meant.

He was thinking about turning around.

But to make sure his body isn't going the opposite direction, he checks his front pockets where two cards were securely nestled in.

Dare Billy say he was almost scared.

He feels sweat starting to prick on the back of his neck, underneath his perfectly defined curls –he didn't even want to think about the measures he went to learn how to make them look so pretty– and he ducks back into his car, deciding he should just put the deodorant everywhere.

As he fumbles for the anti perspirant in his dash, feet sticking out of the car and body pressing against the middle console awkwardly, he realizes that he's almost forgotten the singular rose that he specifically taped to head of his passenger seat so he wouldn't forget it.

Quickly, Billy retrieves the rose and proceeds to rub himself down with the light spray of deodorant.

And despite his previous antsy nature, when he finally goes to walk to the entrance of the store, his face is the perfect mix between cool and ready. But his eyebrows are furrowed, a giveaway to the turmoil going on in his head.

Once the doors slide open, the chimes on top barely audible in the distance, Billy's face twitches ever so slightly when he realizes who is bent over the checkout counter, chatting you up, eliciting deep, rumbling laughter from your wide chest.

Steve.

Billy makes sure the displeasure is gone from his face with a blink of the eyes before he's approaching the two with nonchalant grace. He makes sure his gait is perfect and makes no noise against the flooring of the store, this way he can spy on your conversation from behind the taller shelves of canned food.

He listens close enough to pick up the murmurings of some new ice cream recipe you had apparently tried over the weekend with Will and Jonathan. Sounded absolutely disgusting to Billy. There was pecan and raspberry involved, as well as a hint of honey which would be fine if it wasn't inside frozen food.

But Billy found himself not really paying attention to the words being exchanged, moreso the tone.

Or, more importantly– how Steve said them. Emphasized certain vowels that he wouldn't unless he was in the presence of someone really close.

Just the thought tightens his grip on the small rose clasped tightly in between his fingers and he decides to finally make himself known by making a detour into the candy aisle beside the front desk, going over to get a pack of black liquorish and throwing the item down at the counter for you to ring up.

Your eyes fling up in startle, as though you hadn't noticed Billy at all until the very moment he slammed the unsavory candy on the counter, the plastic brushing a strand of Steve's hair on the way down.

Maybe it was a little bit of an overreaction, but he couldn't help it.

There were instances in which Billy acted purely upon instinct or impulse. Moments in which he let those feelings go to his head and not only let it manifest into words, sometimes that energy even moved his entire body without asking.

You had paused mid-sentence to take in the scene before you. How could you not?

Steve was dumbfounded. Not because the candy was an offense to his palate but because the intensity with which Billy pushed the packaged item towards you was a big one.

Steve moved away from the man looming over his shoulder, offended for his friend across the counter.

The first time Steve had walked in on you two, Billy wanted to kill him –almost killed him. Whatever he was about to retort would most likely have the same outcome.

Because it didn't matter how nicely Billy dressed or spoke to you, Steve could still see the shadow of Billy in his mind, a storm all his own lurking underneath flesh.

"We're still talking. " The brunette finally speaks up, motioning back and forth between himself and you.

Billy snorts and rolls his eyes, trying his hardest not to call the boy across from him something more obscene than asshole because he knows it would lose him any chance of speaking to you.

"You're a worker, right? " Billy plants his forearm on the counter, mocking Steve's pervious position.

"Work. " He spits.

You stare back at him pointedly, hands on your waist before you grab the item and run it across the scanner. A green light graces you skin and a beep fills the empty room.

"52 cents, sir. " You retort simply.

Sir.

Sir.

"Sir?" Billy reels, face controrting into disgust. The word burned all over, and surely the older boy in front of him knew how much that word would affect him. He must've known that it'd make Billy Hargrove piss his pants.

You did.

But nevertheless, Billy pulls his wallet out and drops a five on the counter, telling you to keep the rest.

The plastic covering of the candy crinkles under your fingers as you lift it from the counter, passing it back to the blonde.

Your fingers brush beneath the packaging and all air seems to whoosh out of Billy's lung in response.

You meets his eyes in the middle.

It's silent for a moment.

–Save for Steve who's munching on the same type of candy just off to the side.

The blonde blinks, once, twice. His brows raising again like they had in his car. Billy can feel it, and he fights the urge to pull his fingers away but he doesn't, both of your hands just dangling there for a minute longer.

"Mm!" Steve chokes suddenly, wincing right after as the liquorish becomes a glob in his mouth and his body jerks backwards in discomfort.

It breaks the moment but Billy has an easier time collecting himself than his competitor.

"Steve. " You exclaim and you make a move towards him, patting your friends back with exaggerated aggression.

"I'm okay. " He rasps. "I'm okay. " He raises his hands up in the air but his words deceive him as he starts another fit of coughing.

After a minute or so of more gagging and choking and violent beatings on the back, Steve finally manages to swallow, with a loud groan of course.

You manage a laugh at the boys struggle, masking the noise the bell atop the door makes when it flies open.

And when you turn back around, half a grin still on your face, you're met with emptiness.

That, and a singular rose haphazardly placed on the counter.

[callmebrycelee]

Advice from a Queer Almost-40 BuckTommy Shipper

Over the last several months, there's been a one-sided war brewing between Buddie shippers and BuckTommy shippers. As we get ready for Season 8, I want to give all of you fellow BuckTommy/Tevan/Kinley shippers some advice:

Do NOT let them ruin something truly groundbreaking and special.

I repeat:

Do NOT let them ruin something truly groundbreaking and special.

Let me take you way back to the early-2010s. Glee was quite popular in the cultural zeitgeist. The show spawned a plethora of ships including Finchel, Brittana, Samcedes, and Fabrey. However, there was one ship that reigned supreme on Beyoncé and Al Gore's internet. If you were on Tumblr during this time you definitely remember the chokehold Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson aka Klaine had on the Glee fandom.

Now I'll admit, at first, I was into the two glee club gays being together but then episode 2x06 aired. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, episode 2x06 titled "Never Been Kissed" is episode where closeted football jock Dave Karofsky cornered Kurt in the boys' lockerroom and kissed him. What followed was some of the best storytelling in the history of the show.

Over the next few seasons, we watched Dave Karofsky come to terms with his sexuality, apologize to Kurt for his relentless bullying, finally embrace his sexuality, get outed, and attempt to un-alive himself. Those of us who initially hated Dave and his initial treatment of Kurt became fans of him due to how realistic he was. If you went to high school in the early-2000s, chances are you either knew someone like Karofsky or you were him. That's why he resonated with so many of us in the queer community.

However, the showrunners weren't invested in Dave and Kurt becoming an item. You have to remember, this was the era of listening to the fandom and giving them exactly what they wanted. The fandom wanted Rachel and Finn to be together so that's what we got. The fandom wanted Brittany and Santana to be together so that's what we got. And what the fandom wanted was Kurt and Blaine.

Till this day, I still resent the fact that the showrunners and writers went the safe route when it came to couples on Glee. For the most part, all of their main pairings were expected and boring. Over a decade removed from the show, a lot of folks have come around to the idea that maybe Kurt and Blaine aren't the #couplegoals they initially thought. A lot of us will forever wonder just how different (and possibly better) the show would have been if they took a chance on Kurt and Dave.

Fast-forward to the year 2024. We have, on another Ryan Murphy show, Klaine and Kurtofsky 2.0. The moment Eddie came on the scene back in Season 2, folks on the internet started shipping him with Buck. Nevermind that these two were coded as platonic friends, here we had, once again, two good-looking guys played by two actors who have impeccable chemistry.

Much like Klaine, a lot of us see Buddie as boring. The ship smacks of cis straight women overlly fascinated by two good-looking, masculine guys. It reminds me of the overabundance of m/m romance written by straight women which have little interest in showcasing real queer male relationships and instead serve as fantasy fulfillment for straight women using two queer men as avatars to satisfy what they feel is lacking in their own heterosexual relationships. I don't necessary have a problem with those books existing but I do take issue with that kind of storytelling overshadowing queer male content written by queer male writers.

Whew! Now that I got that out of my system, let me tell you what I loved most about the latest season of 9-1-1. It seems the showrunners and writers of this show took note of what happened with Glee and they decided to go a different route. Instead of listening to the relentless noise on the internet, they have decided to not go the safe route.

Enter: Tommy Kinard.

The romance between Buck and Tommy is truly revolutionary. As someone who grew up consuming the queer media of the 90s and early-2000s, it is quite refreshing to have a couple like Evan Buckley and Tommy Kinard on primetime television. I love that many of the scenes between these two is just slice of life. Very similar to the scenes we get between Athena and Bobby and Chimney and Maddie. I've always said that true equality is when queer people can be just as mundane as straight people. Mission accomplished. Finally, we have two queer characters just existing and being happy. No AIDS. No gay-bashing. No Don't Ask Don't Tell. No epic coming out scene. Buck and Tommy are a shining example of what queer couples can and should look like in the 2020s.

So, back to my original point. When it comes to the great ship war, please do NOT let them ruin something so groundbreaking and special. If the showrunners wanted , they could have made Buck and Eddie a thing years ago. However, that's not the direction they wanted to venture. Thank you Tim Minear for not going the safe route. I look forward to all of the rich storytelling we will get in Season 8 and I have decided that whatever happens, I'm going to enjoy this era of 9-1-1. Oliver Stark and Lou Ferrigno Jr. are amazing actors but so are Angela Bassett and Peter Krause and Aisha Hinds and Kenneth Choi. All of the actors on this show, whether main or guest or supporting, are putting their whole self into crafting the characters we know and love. Regardless of what ship you champion, keep in mind that behind these beloved characters are real, human actors who do not deserve to be bullied and harrassed and threatened due to them simply doing their job. At the end of the day, everything we see on the screen is fiction.

Okay, this has gotten really long. Stepping off of my soapbox. Remember ladies and gentlemen, it's just a show. And although it makes us feel real emotions, 9-1-1 nor Glee is real life.

[dailydemonspotlight]

Ardha - Day 181

Race: Deity Arcana: Judgment Alignment: Light-Law June 9th, 2025 Happy pride month!

A fact that I sadly haven't seen mentioned much is that a lot of Hindu mythology is actually very queer. For one of the biggest religions in the world, Hinduism doesn't actually have much spread over here in the West, and most of what I do see, past just how fascinating it is, is that it's weird... which, well, I suppose is a synonym for queer in some ways, but regardless. Still, something to note is that Hinduism doesn't actually distinguish between homosexual and heterosexual in the forming texts of the faith; instead, they only mark a difference between sexual acts in marriage and out of it. This can even be seen in many Hindu communities, such as the Hindu American Foundation, which says this on the topic: “Given their inherent spiritual equality, Hindus should not socially ostracize LGBT individuals, but should accept them as fellow sojourners on the path to moksha.”

All of this can be traced back to the fact that the mythology itself is also rather queer, believe it or not- there are several gay gods and goddesses, and even some transgender or non-binary ones, such as today's Demon of the Day- the intersex mix of Shiva and Parvati, Ardhanarishvara- shortened down to Ardha because, wow, that is a mouthful.

Shiva could be seen as an ideal man, or a symbol of masculinity: a man who stands tall and proud, and what is more masculine than embracing your more feminine side? Shiva, in his wisdom, wooed Parvati, who fell madly in love with him, becoming his most famous consort. In their love, Parvati once professed to him that she wished to experience the world from his eyes, though how this came to be is dependent on the tale. In some versions, Parvati grew jealous of how a monk only worshipped Shiva, and in my personal favorite version, Parvati instead grew so enraptured with Shiva (and Shiva did her) that they decided to align themselves with each other in their marriage. As such, they wished to share with the other their experiences.

The two fully fused together upon Parvati sitting on his left lap, and both were ecstatic- Shiva and Parvati now represented two halves of a whole, that whole being the gender binary. Shiva's side, the right side, represented masculinity, the brain, and strength, while Parvati's side, the left side, represented the heart, creativity, and intuition. They could see beyond their preconceived boundaries and into the whole of the world itself together.

In a way, this story could be read as a gender awakening tale, as the newly born Ardha was in complete joy, possibly even euphoria. The way that they exist, even, seems to imply the idea that no human is purely male or female, and rather that we are all who we are; male, female, non-binary, and all shades between. As long as one is happy, they've found themselves. It's a really beautiful narrative, especially from a trans angle, as it mirrors the stories of many transgender people. (me included! :D)

In SMT, Ardha's design has gone unchanged for years upon years, and it's not hard to see why- they're pretty much spot-on. The male and female sides are represented well, though I do have to wonder why Shiva is on the left side when he's meant to be on the right. That doesn't really matter though, because some depictions do have Shiva on the right, it's just something I noticed. I do like how Shiva's side has two arms, though- it's a nice reference to the fact that, well, this is half Shiva, and he has four arms, so... yeah. Plus, I just like how the design looks. I'd love to see a modern redraw without really changing any aspects of it tbh.

[easays]

To Ragh; or, On Fatness

Hi! Below is an actual play mini-essay. These are written as part of a personal writing practice of thinking critically about actual play. I hope you find this reading engaging and know that all I write reflects my own interpretations rather than as an official representation/canonization of these shows. Keep reading for my interpretation of Ragh Barkrock's fatness as part of queer representation in Dimension20.

Ragh Barkrock may be one of the most beloved NPCs in Dimension20. It would be easy for Ragh, a bloodrush player good enough to potentially play professionally, to be presented as hypermasculine. In fact, the freshmen year art for Ragh, when he was antagonist rather than beloved ally, showed him in a muscular, inverted Dorito shaped body typical of a jock.

He's, obviously, built, and his cut jaw and cheekbones only bolster that image. As Ragh comes to terms with being gay at the end of Fantasy High, his countenance changes. When we see him again, the new art reflects a chubbier, happier Ragh.

The show aligning weight gain with acceptance and happiness already works against prevailing stereotypes that use weight loss as a quick metaphor for improving yourself and being the "real you." Moreover, connecting Ragh's acceptance of his sexuality with what seems like a larger comfort in his own body is a strong indictment of hypermasculine gay culture. As Gabriel Arana writes, gay men "must reconcile their sense of masculinity with their failure to conform to its heterosexuality." Not doing so has negative mental health outcomes, as Arana points out, and contributes to a culture that devalues fat queer people (see the popular "no fats, no femmes, no Asians" that often is touted in masculine gay subculture).

All of this, I think, is why Ragh's art for Junior Year was particularly impactful for me as a fat queer person. If being a gay man (or half-Orc, in Ragh's case) means having to situate your life in relationship to failing compulsory masculinity, then it seems there is an inherent queer aspect to embracing, celebrating, and showcasing a beloved NPC in an explicitly fat and happy body.

FHJY Ragh art by @caitmayart

Ragh is still strong and he is still fat. His body radiates a commitment to the power of fat bodies to exist in spaces they are often violently unwelcome in, such as gyms. Existing in gyms and sports spaces as fat people means dealing the "impossible standard that rejects nearly all of us" and upholds a diet culture rooted in impossible, Eurocentric and colonial body standards. In TTRPGS or actual plays, there is a unique opportunity to think about how bodies might exist in worlds different from ours, to imagine bodyminds as otherwise. However, as queer critics like Paul Preciado have noted, sci-fi and fantasy representations of cyborgs and other transformative bodies often lean into "fixing" disabled people or moving gender nonconforming bodies more easily towards technologies upholding a normative standard rather than questioning the standard all together.

Spyre is a world that deals with similar issues to ours, even without direct one-to-one correlations, so it, too, is a place where the narrative and artistic choices should be examined in how it helps us interpolate the world the audience resides in. From the Applebees cultish adherence to a deity-based nationalism to the various representations of parental neglect and abuse and every side story in-between, Dimension20's flagship show does not shy away from difficult realities even when recasting them through fantasy. Ragh, as a half-orc gay son of a disabled single mother, then, I see the arc his fat body goes through as meaningful and intertwined with his self-acceptance and queerness. He moves away from the toxic masculinity engineered into his blood rush team to instead pursue coalition comraderie with his friends to the point that he and his mother end up joining a communal living situation with those friends and their parents. Ragh's body expands as his family does, as his ties to community do, and to me, the gift of his fatness is the invitation to expansion that it holds out to us as viewers.

[frostyhelltime]

A Folly of a Plan

Alastor x singerOC

AN: This takes place primarily when they're alive, but will eventually reach hell.

I hope everyone likes it!! I did try to keep in mind some ways of speaking back in the 1920s when writing their thoughts and dialogue.

As a side note, he is still ace in this. I wrote him as demisexual (like myself).

Summary: Showing no interest in women as an adult man means rumors have started that he prefers men. People thinking you're a gay man in the 1920s is NOT how you keep a low profile as a serial killer. But if he could just find some dame to pretend to be into to keep the heat off, he can just break up with her once the rumors are done and go about his life.

At least that was the plan.

Warnings: None yet. 1920s queerphobia by the general populace I suppose? There will eventually be smut and murder and all that fun stuff.

Chapter 1

Alastor had a problem.

He had heard stirrings through the grapevine. Rumors and hushed whispers, as eyes followed him. It had become both obnoxious, and worrying. How was he to continue his favorite…activities, if the whole town seemed so interested in his affairs? It made it remarkably harder to get away and find victims. He had stopped trying to go out…hunting, as often, due to this.

It felt like the whole town was convinced he was one of those queers. Not that he cared one way or the other what people chose to do or not do in their bedrooms. But unfortunately the lack of his interest in anything romantic or more…physically intimate had gotten people talking that he preferred the company of men.

Again, not something he cared about…and in all honesty it was frustrating they jumped to that conclusion instead of the idea he just wasn't interested in general.

But being a barely white passing man who had lied on his census reports about his race to have the radio hosting gig he has fought tooth and nail for, who also moonlighted as a serial killer and…occasional cannibal…the less people paying attention to him with a negative eye the better. He had more than a few skeletons in his closet he wanted to stay hidden.

And the rumor he was a gay man in the 1920s was not the way to stay under the radar.

Which only served to make him that much crabbier since he had to put a pause on his night time activities temporarily. Nothing a little hooch couldn't fix, he's sure.

Which is how he found himself here, in a hidden away speakeasy that was a jazz lounge and music hall as a front. He isn't sure he can actually call it a front though when he sees people already crowded around the stage before the lights have even dimmed.

It didn't matter to him. If anything it felt relieving to not have eyes on him for once. He catches the eye of the bartender, who he knows casually and suggested he come by for a drink, noticing how agitated the man had become during their small talks. By day the barkeep worked at a local food joint that Alastor preferred to grab lunch from when he was short on time.

Neither would call the other a friend…but they were friendly with each other. Alastor slides into a seat at the bar with ease, gladly taking whatever liquid in a glass he hands him. He thinks it might be a kind of whiskey perhaps, as it goes down.

It isn't long before the lights dim just a bit more in this cute little hole in the wall jazz lounge, spotlight shining on a stage as an announcer comes on and introduces their relatively new singer with enthusiasm. He can hear one of the waitresses chatter excitedly about how she apparently went from backing vocals to being the main vocal on a trial basis.

He snorts a small laugh at that. He imagines it'll go well if the crowd is anything to go by. It does have him admittedly curious.

"Now, put your hands together for Miss Clara Massou!"

The announcer cheers in a typically excitable way he is expected to before making his way off stage, allowing a beautiful woman with a form fitting dress that still allowed easy movement to appear on stage and taking her place in front of the microphone. The shimmers of her dress catch the bright stage lights and make it almost impossible not to notice her.

She smiles, crimson lips parted in a seductive manner as she looks out into the crowd, eyes half lidded despite how excited she is. She knows she needs to match the energy of her song, and as soon as she hears the first few chords of music play, she's singing, a sultry and inviting voice weaving itself through the lounge and captivating many of them. It's hard to miss her as the room falls quiet, side conversations falling off into nothingness. She has a sonorous and melodic voice, her blonde curls seeming even brighter under the spotlight as she sweeps them gingerly out of her face as she moves and sways with her song. She can feel her blood pounding with the way she sees them all focusing on her as she reaches the crescendo of her first song, a melancholy longing evident in the powerful high note she sings before she winds down to begin the next song.

She continues on like this for awhile, her audience captivated and spellbound by her as she runs through her set list.

But all good things must come to an end, and it's eventually time to wind down and let everyone relax and continue drinking. So she gives a bow and a heartfelt thank you to the small but cheering crowd, and she begins to make her way off stage.

She feels electric on stage, and is almost bursting with energy as she leaves, that much is clear. She blows a kiss to the cheering crowd before she does leave the stage, knowing that playing it up was vital in this trial run. She has to do everything she could think of to make the crowd want to come to hear her again.

After her last song had finished, Alastor jerks his head up when he hears his bartender friend talking to him. He hadn't even realized he had been staring, so lost in her performance. Had he been staring?

“I could be wrong but it seems she actually caught your attention. I didn't know that was possible.” He snickers and fills up his own glass despite being on the clock. He had certainly heard the rumors floating around town, and it made Alastor roll his eyes.

"You certainly never looked at any of the girls that threw themselves at you that way." There's a hint of mirth in the man's eyes because it's true. Every time he saw Alastor with a girl that seemed to be flirting with him he seemed to be tolerating her at best before he ended up making up an excuse to get away.

“Shut up, Roy. She just has a lovely voice. I work in radio. I'm always looking for lovely voices…It's hardly surprising.” He isn't sure if he's justifying it to himself or Roy. Alastor's smile never leaves his face but his eyes betray the annoyance he actually feels. Roy thinks it's the most strained he had ever seen Alastor's smile.

Meanwhile, the subject of their conversation makes some small talk as she makes her rounds around the room, expertly networking and charming people where it was needed until she finally lands where she would actually like to relax a bit, the bar.

She greets Roy brightly, waving energetically at him as she approaches.

"Roy!" She almost sings, some love of music still left on her lips although the stage was gone. The grizzled and almost weary seeming bartender gives something Clara could swear was a smile as she greeted him.

As soon as Alastor hears her calling out, the murderous look in his eyes is disappearing instantly as if it were never there. He looked over his shoulder at her, listening to her talk to what appeared to be their shared acquaintance.

"I feel so good! I think I did really well tonight!" She's all bright energy and sheer innocent excitement as she orders a drink from him and begins chattering with him in between patrons, sitting a few seats down from what she notes is a sharply dressed man nursing his whiskey and peeking at her over his glasses.

But her energy hasn't quite abated yet and even when she's finished her drink she's still clearly feeling restless, foot tapping to some music that she's humming.

She huffs to Roy now, as if he could magically fix her problem.

"Ugh. I still have so much energy to burn!!" She sighs in a playfully dramatic manner before looking around the bar, her eyes eventually landing on the man a few seats down that she had noticed staring at her earlier. Her intuition just told her he was a good dancer, and if not…well at least it would still be fun since he was handsome.

Alastor becomes aware that he is being observed and quickly snaps his face forward to look back at his drink.

She hops off her stool and walks the few feet needed to reach him, holding out her hand before he can finish internally scolding himself for staring so blatantly and impolitely.

"Pleasure to meet you! My name is Clara. Can you help a girl out and help me get out some energy by cutting a rug with me?" She offers, her smile nothing but charming and inviting.

He looks at her hand a moment, considering it all. To her credit, her confidence doesn't seem to waiver when he takes a few moments to decide. Who knows? Maybe seeing him dance with a woman might get some of those pesky rumors to abate.

What the hell. He was just tipsy enough to think it was a fine enough idea. Maybe some dancing would help get out his frustrations as well. The band was certainly picking up into a more lively number.

Alastor simply nods, a kind smile hiding any lingering awkwardness. “Of course, my dear.” He says and downs the rest of his drink before pushing his glass back onto the bar top, although there wasn't much left by this point anyway, and offers his hand to her.

Roy had to admit he was surprised, to say the least. Alastor wasn’t much of a people person and kept his circle small from what he could tell. Wasn't even sure he had a circle. He certainly never initiated touch first unless he absolutely has to for networking purposes. It's...kind of fascinating to see him actually accept a dance from someone without some subtle sign in his body language showing he would really rather not. But he brushes it off. Perhaps it's a curiosity thing. Alastor certainly never minded getting in someone else's personal space whenever he found it amusing. Perhaps this was a similar thing?

Alastor stood up then, admiring her smile as he did. “My name is Alastor.” He introduces himself with a small and proper bow like a gentleman.

Clara’s giggle shows that she was clearly happy that he accepted her invitation as well as being pleased with his manners, her smile turning just a little coy when he does eventually take her hand.

"It's a delight to meet you." She continues to smile at him as they walk out to the dance floor. She was even more delighted to see her intuition had been right. He was quite a good dancer, and has no problem keeping up with her or the number they're dancing to.

It feels like it's impossible for her to stop smiling at this point, charmed laughter escaping her as she enjoys their dance and all the twists and twirls they do together, heart thrumming from either the exhilaration of the dance or from her partner or both...she isn't quite sure. Sometimes she put on a smile for the crowd, being the show woman she needed to be to be on stage, but this smile as they had fun dancing was so genuine it almost hurt.

She doesn't want it to end, and if she was honest with herself, she did like how warm his hands felt in hers, even through the gloves he wore, and she did feel a small tinge of red blooming on her cheeks when he pulled her close and grinned at her during their dance, the confident and coy mask she wore on stage slipping for a moment at his charms.

Alastor was used to always smiling but this time it was genuine. Far more genuine than when he had talked with Roy earlier at least. He was actually enjoying himself right now.

It was when he pulled her close during the dance that he noticed the rosy tint on her face, which only made him grin further at her, showing he saw the subtle change in the hue of her cheeks.

He was handsome, he knew that. He was used to women swooning over him, and perhaps it's the whiskey…but he's hatching a plan as they dance.

He would have to chat with her, see how tolerable of a person she was to see if his idea might work.

When they do eventually come back to the bar after their whirlwind of dancing she takes the seat next to him instead of a few down where she had been before, something Alastor mentally notes.

"Now that was absolutely delightful! I hope this isn't the last time you visit this place! I'll be just beside myself with grief if it is." Clara is immediately teasing him, gently bumping her shoulder up against his before she turns to their quiet bartender.

"Roy, you seemed to know him. How could you hide such a good and handsome dance partner from me? I'm hurt." She faked a clearly put on pout before relaxing again, even as Roy rolled his eyes and shook his head playfully at her antics, serving them both another drink when they ask before leaving to attend to other customers...but not before looking over his shoulder at Alastor and giving him a knowing grin with a raised eyebrow. Just to annoy him really, something he definitely enjoyed doing on occasion, just for a laugh.

“Trust me, my dear this is not the first nor last time I will be at this lounge.” Alastor promises with a twinkle in his eye.

"I'm just surprised. I don't think I've seen you on stage before here, have I?" He asked her curiously, sipping his drink and leaning against the bar to mirror her own relaxed posture.

She just nods excitedly. "Yeah! I started being the main singer a few weeks ago! Before that I just did backup vocals so that's probably why you never noticed me." She looks almost bashful at those humble beginnings, but Alastor sees nothing wrong with it.

"Ah. That explains it. To many more amazing performances." He gives her a comforting smile as he holds up his drink, waiting for her.

At that the bashfulness seems to fade and she straightens up a bit, holding her own glass and tapping it against his lightly.

"To many more!" She agrees, giggling a bit, even though she isn't quite sure why. Perhaps nerves?

Overall Clara seems pleased as punch that Alastor will come by again it seems, and it has her leaning closer into his space now.

Although she almost immediately pulls back a bit since she had noticed he seemed to keep his distance from others for the most part, plus he had seemed to startle slightly when she playfully bumped her shoulder into his unexpectedly and she's unsure if he doesn't mind her being close or if he's just too polite to tell her.

Either way she does her best to not invade his space too much now that she's aware of this possible quirk of his.

Alastor seems briefly surprised by her proximity and the fact she pulls back when she realizes she's gotten too close without him having to tell her. Others wouldn't have been that polite, or perhaps even notice his discomfort. Mimzy certainly wouldn't have cared whether he likes it or not. Clara was simply solidifying herself more and more as an excellent candidate for his plan.

"You know, for certain people I don't mind taking requests. I do mostly covers now, but I think I've almost convinced the owner to let me sing an original song eventually. Now I just have to pick from the ones I've written to show him my best one." Her smile is almost sheepish at the admittance she has written so many songs that haven't seen the light of day yet. But she hopes soon they will.

"So do let me know if there's a particular song you want to hear next time. I'll make sure to practice so it's just perfect." She tilts her head down a little bit, looking up at him through her eyelashes in an effort to look extra tempting.

"Hmmm. I'll have to think on it, see if I can think of a song that does that voice of yours justice." He eventually says, tapping his chin in thought.

"When you get the greenlight for the original song, let me know. I'll be sure to be there opening night." The charm and subtle flirtation comes easy to him, used to this game of cat and mouse by now from the previous people that had attempted to charm him.

Clara can't help the way she nervously but excitedly fidgets with the napkin below her drink as he promises to be there for the night of the original song.

"I can't wait!"

He quirks an eyebrow at her, a funny question that has been gnawing at his mind for a bit now bubbling to the surface.

“You seem much more…demure and modest compared to what I was expecting.” He says, and he only realizes how he's put his foot in his mouth when he sees the shock on her face and he's wide eyed and quickly speaking to clarify, but she stops him, gently holding her hand up to signal him to save it.

“Don't worry. I get it.” She giggles a moment, that innocent charm and excitement from before showing through.

“The sultry siren is what sells seats. Once I get to showcase my own songs I plan to show a lot more versatility.” She says, a wistful look on her face, her own imagination likely getting ahead of herself before she brings herself back to the here and now.

While she's preoccupied with her daydream, he can feel his plan coming together in his mind. He doesn't know why he didn't think of it before. Date someone long enough that all those pesky rumors stop, dump her, and go on with his life.

He has to admit…if he must use someone as a cover to get people to get off his back…she certainly seemed like one of the better options he could think of. She respected his personal space, had a strikingly lovely voice, good taste in music, and was such a fascinating little thing overall. She seemed far too intelligent and cultured to really fit in at this underground establishment. Something told him this wasn't her normal type of place and that had him curious. He's certain at the very least she'll be entertaining, and most importantly…tolerable, compared to a number of other women who had brazenly made their interest known. He didn't find his patience wearing thin with her the way it sometimes could with others, especially when they thought invading his personal space and getting up close and personal was the way to earn his affections.

He makes just enough small talk with her to learn when her next show is.

He's found his target, all he has to do is lay his traps.

[genderqueerdykes]

Really appreciate this blog and what it shares. Got into an arguement with someone who was a transfem TIRF (didn’t realize that was even a thing at the time lmao) and it left me feeling really upset due to the both gross ways she’d talked about trans men and the fact that she got a lot of support in the notes. So coming here and seeing in fact most people love and care about us transmascs is nice.

Won’t argue again next time I see an account like that cuz it’s kinda obvious people in those circles are prolly not getting out but yeah.

i am so sorry you had that experience. i'm glad you're advocating for yourself and choosing to not argue with that person again.

i honestly refuse to socialize with a person when i see them be that openly hateful with no attempts to change. i stopped talking to one of my old roommates after he started saying all kinds of transandrophobic shit, shitting on transmascs bodies and calling them gross because he's "gay" and could never be into vaginas or breasts. my ex (trans)gf literally fucking yelled at me for not wanting to be his friend after this. like actually fucking yelled at me numerous times. i asked her if she would be comfortable staying his friend if he was transmisogynistic toward her and told her her body was disgusting, and she said yeah of course, as if somehow that wouldn't cause her pain. nobody gave a flying fuck about how transandrophobia affects transmascs, so i said fuck all of you and stopped being their friends.

there are so many people who have gladly jumped on the rad fem train and it's so sad. that's no way to live your life. that's such a hateful ideology. rad feminism is nothing but hate. it's hate for yourself for being a woman because you equate womanhood to suffering. it's hate for other women because they're not women "right" like you are. it's hate for transmascs and trans men. it's hate for nonbinary people. it's hate for genderfluid people. it's hate for trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, gnc, bi, & pan lesbians. it's hate for butches who are men. for TIRFs in specific, it's hate for other trans people because they're "trans wrong". rad feminism is hatred all the way down no matter how you look at it. rad feminism will never be productive or progressive. it's about wallowing in your misery, mining for sympathy and pity, and crying about how you're powerless and defenseless instead of doing something about it. it's admitting defeat.

as a fellow transmasc, i'm just over it. i'm not gonna stew in self hatred. i had a friend who WAS transmasc who basically forced me to hate myself for being a trans man. always going on and on about how they hated certain transmascs and trans men, how they were "Whiny and entitled"... yikes dude. you can keep hating yourself over there, but i genuinely love being transmasc & a trans man. coming out as a trans man literally saved my fucking life. i was a depressed mess that hated myself before i came out. i've never loved myself more. and if someone else can't love what i love about myself? they're not worth my damn time.

i'm not here to throw transmascs under the bus just to kiss up to transfems to try to look progressive for brownie points. that shit is underhanded and dirty. we can support all trans people at once. we aren't football teams. you don't have to pit random queer identities against one another. we're on the same side. none of us are enemies. none.

thanks for taking the time to stop by! take care of yourself, i'm glad that i could help in any way. i am just OVER people forcing transmascs and trans men to hate themselves and exist solely to talk about trans women and transfems and nothing else. i am just over people making men and mascs feel like shit. it's done. it's over. i'm not participating, and neither are you. pack that shit up into a box, and throw it in the garbage. we're working together whether or not you like it. the only way we get out of this is together. our fight for liberation is NOT a crab bucket- you do NOT have to pull someone else down when you see them rise up and advocate for themselves.

[yuttikkele]

S1E28 The City of the Edge of Forever: aka holy cow I had a lot of notes on this one. This was a roller coaster. I don’t think I can make a cool synopsis quip on this one.

Jim when he’s been proven wrong or something and he does that little gulp thing continues to be funny.

OH MY GOSH BONES FLAILING TO THE GROUND 😭😭

Uhura beamed down! WHOPPEE!!

“Each of you will have to try it. Even if you fail, at least you’ll be alive in some past world somewhere.” Oh gosh let Uhura go last 🙏🙏

You think all those 1930s people looked at them and instead of thinking “maybe they’re time travelers!” were thinking “what are these guys? queers?”

KIRK YOU’RE JAYWALKING KIRK YOU’RE STEALING KIRK THIS IS THE GREAT DEPRESSION PRACTICALLY EVERYONE IS POOR.

…

HUH. “My friend is obviously Chinese.” THAT’S THE BEST YOU COULD DO???

That took me by surprise so much not only WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT but also THAT’S THE WORST EXCUSE I’VE EVER HEARD

AND THEN HE EXPLAINS THE EARS ANOTHER WAY? I THOUGHT THE CHINESE THING WAS THE EXPLANATION OF THE EARS? WHAT WAS THE GOAL OF SAYING HE’S CHINESE 😭😭 ???

Spock’s sigh is a mix of “phew I saved us” and “why is he saying that?”

MECHANICAL RICE PICKER?

AS A CHILD??

Spock is admitting their defeat nodding his head.

Casually gets groped, pulls the “look over there!” trick, then everyone just casually watches and does nothing as a police officer collapses in their arms.

“You were actually enjoying my predicament back there.” You mean the terrible Chinese backstory or the cop groping him?

Ok gonna have to ignore the racist comments for now and move on

Ooo they’re wearing regular clothes!

Kirk your chest is still out button up your shirt you’re talking to a woman

I’m sorry they look like they’re straight from the 2000s. I know they’re very universal outfits, but they just look like they’re 2000s grunge. Spock’s skater beanie is hilarious.

Spock why do you just place your bread bare on the table. Kirk not you too.

Kirk telling that guy to shut up. Well, at least he’s not sexist.

Oh I like her. This Edith lady.

WHAT IS SHE A TIME TRAVELLER? HUH? HIT BY THE DODGE BALL OF APOLLO???

Kirk coming in arms full of groceries. He’s even got a baguette, a sausage, and some lettuce. What is this, a domestic AU?

Well at least Spock’s being honest to the lady about his computer building.

Ok now SPOCK is stealing

I see Kirk is actually just not gonna button up his shirt so. Ok I guess.

Oh so when Edith says “you guys don’t belong here” she actually means “Kirk doesn’t belong here, and Spock should be wherever Kirk is, so he doesn’t belong here either.” If I were Spock, I’d probably be offended by being told I’m second to someone, but knowing Spock he probably thinks this is a great compliment honestly. “Second to my captain? Right next to him? Well, you would be right. Thank you for noticing.”

“Captain. Even when he doesn’t say it, he does.” Oh after that and the “by his side” line she definitely thinks something’s going on between them. “I see the devotion this man has for you- *proceeds to say a homophobic slur*”

“Hey these guys are sorta out of place.” “Yeah. Honestly, they’re kinda… queer…” *looks at the camera as a laugh track plays*

Oh Spock just looks oddly out at Kirk and the lady as they leave on what I’m assuming is their date. She’s not even blonde.

“Did you do something wrong? Let me help.” She thinks you’re gay and you’ve done something gay and she’s an ally.

MCCOY APPEARING FROM THE WALL OF THAT BUILDING BAHAHAHAHA

OH MY GOSH THE GUY STEALING THAT MILK IS UTTERLY TERRIFIED. I WOULD BE TOO LOOK AT BONES BRO. He’s NEVER stealing milk again.

“DON’T RUN. I WON’T KILL YOU!” Dumbledore said calmly.

“Take all the money they spend on war and death and make them spend it on life.” And when’s that gonna happen. Cause ngl, it doesn’t even really seem like Y’ALL’s stardate is doing that.

Oh and the guy’s stealing again

HE JUST FAZERED HIMSELF.

Oh? Jim formally admitting he’s in love with a woman? 

Forget Edith dying, Spock, you guys would have to return to the future anyways 😭 and then Jim’s got his ship to worry about. Spock you’ve seen how he literally never stays with one woman. This relationship is never working out.

Yknow speaking of women, where did Janice go?

Is it not awkward for Spock, like even as a friend, to always be walking in on Jim being romantic to another woman. Like it’s awkward to watch but imagine what Spock feels like.

“SPOOOCK!” Was Spock like third wheeling a couple steps behind or something?

Oh wait them all seeing each other is so wholesome ;0;

aaaand edith got hit by a truck. Yep ok guess that was bound to happen.

Oh gosh. Poor Jim. Oh dude that really sucks.

Oh that’s a sick pose they all hit beaming up. They may be sad but at least they all hit that sick pose

quite an. Interesting episode. Til next time on YUTTI’S STAR TREK LIVEBLOGGGGG!!!

[buckevantommy]

100% serious, swear to god, asking this in good faith —

not that i disagree with how fucking stupid it was for tommy to have been abby’s tommy ~all along~, because i was a staunch opponent of that theory until i was watching it unfold in real time on my goddamn television, but: like, obviously, we don’t need the whole himbo conversation, but i personally feel like buck wouldn’t go full-on speechifying and talking about how ~brave~ tommy is unless he got that speech from josh earlier.

(side note: did buck need to hear what josh was saying? absolutely. does it make any sense to say that glee is what changed the fucking world??? no.)

and i … idk. i feel like he doesn’t get to that point where he’s at dispatch and spiraling at maddie unless he just found out that tommy used to be engaged to a woman and ended up breaking it off. (tbh there’s no reason it needed to be abby! considering who tommy used to be, i don’t at all find it hard to believe that he would’ve tried to “make it work” with a woman before he finally came to terms with who he actually was, instead of who he wanted himself to be.)

i swear i started this with a question. it feels like it’s disappeared. i think what i was going for was, more or less: if we’d gotten different tommy lore, like you said — an ex-boyfriend or an ex-fiancé — how do you think the episode would’ve played out? like, does that still wind up with them breaking up?

(feel free to ignore, if you want to, i just — god, there really are so many problems with that episode, aren’t there?)

Omg i don't understand why they hyped that Glee speech fr?? I lived through that era as a queer teen and the show didn't change the world for queer folks like they think it did imho - not to stir up shit about stereotypes but it was more geared towards musical lovers as well as a generation of people who were like 10-20 years younger than Tommy. It also felt more poignant for Josh to say (for himself) than it was relevant to Buck's issues.

We should've gotten Buck talking to Hen (and Karen) because they're also queer and they know both Buck and Tommy and it's the conversation we were hoping for/that would've made sense.

I understand the need for a catalyst in how they wrote the conflict and the breakup, but I think Buck would've freaked out about a broken off engagement between Tommy and a man just as much as with a woman, as well as the Kinsey stuff (not that I really believe his cluelessness btw given his tendency for research binges and excitement for learning and knowledge i think he would've been trying to find out as much as he could which could have been an interesting point of tension between them if Tommy didn't really know as much or care to) and the fact he hadn't explored his own identity instead just enjoying his relationship with Tommy.

We should have gotten Tommy talking about a serious male ex because he's gay and deserves to have his identity acknowledged through past gay relationships, instead of the fucking terribly campy throwaway line of him complimenting Abby's hair, like wtf was that?? Also: no fucking way they didn't talk about past relationships before that point, no way oversharer Buck didn't tell Tommy about his first love.

The show committed to the breakup and I'm okay with that because 1) Tommy's reasoning gives us more insight into his character that is feeding the fic and meta writers, and 2) it gives Buck the opportunity to date other guys (and women) for a time and compare his experiences to his emotional connection with Tommy ie. Love, and then it allows for them to get back together stronger down the line (my preference is they become friends first and feelings inevitably come to a head).

I can handle temporary pain but i cannot abide terrible writing. Abby's Tommy is actually Thomas Flores and was some guy she met at a grocery store or bar and owns his own business and has brown eyes and short straight hair and drives a tesla.

[cryptidclaw]

Shriketail!

Pre-Blinding version v

Design Notes:

I gave him a less Oriental shorthair inspired body type this time since he's adopted instead of Downnose's bio-kit now and and I need to stop myself from making too many Thunder cats have Wind Order type builds LOL. TBH I think this design looks more like how in envision him anyways!

Character Bio:

Shriketail

(Longtail)

Gay; he/him

Age as of 1st arc's beginning: 11 moons; 15 Hyrs

Age as of 1st arc's end: 2 cycles, 8 moons; ~26 Hyrs

Title meaning: -tail =  a cat with great balance and who always lands on their feet; often a jack of all trades as balance is used in almost every skill

Warrior of Thunder Order; he was the unofficial Second/acting Second for a while after Sandstorm's presumed death, but he never wanted the full position and was happy to return to normal Warrior duties once Fire chose a new Second.

Mentor: Darkstripe

Mother (adoptive): Downnose

Mate: Star Firesight

Queer Platonic Partner: Sandstorm

Kits: Squirrelflight (sire: Sand); Leafpool; Foxleap (sire: Sand); Icecloud

Grandkits: Star Hollyleaf; Falconstrike; Jaywing; Alderheart; Sparkfire

Other notable kin (Note! Shrike is adopted so none of his kin is related by blood!): Cricketstep (uncle); Star Ravenscourge (uncle); Dustpelt (uncle); Cloudtail (cousin); Snowshoe (cousin); Mistletoe (cousin); Spiderleg (cousin); Shrew (cousin)

Character Summary:

In Progress (to be added later)

...

[Image 1 ID: a digital drawing of Shriketail, an AU version of Longtail from Warrior Cats. He is standing with his left side showing and a cocky, determined grin of his face. He is a slender, short furred, light brown tabby tom with black stripes and a white underbelly, legs and lower face. His face has pink jagged scars running over his eyes and across his face and is eyes are are cloudy blue with pink surrounding the pupils. s left ear is torn at the tip, his nose is light pink and he has a spikey tuft of black hair on his head simulating bangs./End ID]

[Image 2 ID: a digital drawing of Shriketail, an AU version of Longtail from Warrior Cats. This image is the same as the previous one, but he has no scars on his face, and his eyes are not cloudy./End ID]

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Peaceful Property went hard with dreams this week. You know, 'dream' like the American Dream? You know, 'dream' like Peach's dream of cooking in a palace for a bunch of rich people and refusing to make peace with a 'hypothetical' rival? You know, 'dream' like Home's nightmare of his poorer friend overtaking him for the harm Home caused him? You know, 'dream' like Home's fake dream of moving to America and having ten wives? You know, 'dream' like Home's real dream of having a normal family??

The dreams themselves had an air of love and hope about them, and they were nurtured with kindness and support by members of the ghost hunting team, but the show kept subtly drawing our attention to the hollowness, violence, and repression inherent to the 'dreams' in this episode. These were capitalistic and patriarchal styles of dreaming.

Notice, they exorcised no ghosts this episode. We saw instead our influencer Chai-Un (Pompam, doing THE MOST with this Old Queen stock character) ignoring Peach's offerings to his family's ghosts and going full glutton all by his lonesome. The upper crust might offer invitation to one or two from the lower class entering into their echelons, but what has that spiritually alleviated?

If the mutual heartbreak at the end of the episode wasn't enough to clue you in, these themes are the biggest indicator that Home and Peach will end up together as family. The show has framed the inherent harm and distrust between the aristocracy and the lower classes as foundational in making the patriarchal family primary. I had previously thought there was a possibility we'd get a little weird found family ending. Home, though, faked drinking to let us know he's faking other things--heterosexuality. BUT ACTUALLY, we got so many references to full-on gayness this episode, but in ways that let us know the show has a queer Marxist vision even for that. Chai-Un referring to his partner as his "wife" and playing the stereotype of Rich Gay: these aren't arbitrary.

This gay baiting question is actually thematically important. I've been enjoying the revisit to some old-school homoerotic subtext, because old-school homoerotic subtext was often tied into the same problems of patriarchal capitalism. They forged intense bonds that they then had to sever to form family units as they economically competed against each other and maintained the honor of their patriarchal position. The participated in societal dick measuring contests to see whose estates were grander and whose cok was long, as the neon sign says.

With Peach's adjustment to the contract, we are now left with the possibility for Home's queerness and desire for Peach to possibly disrupt his family's fortune in a major way. If Home really wants to exorcise the specter of Peach's pain and suffering from his waking dreams, Home can't be one of the 12 gay billionaires in the world. He's not going to be his investor or his savior. He'll have to let go of his patriarch's will to find something that won't sooth his wallet but will sooth his soul, something decidedly 'not normal.'

Side note: Who gave this show the right to let New and Tay and Jan show the true force of their full RANGE????

[anachronisticcrab]

I can't win with fucking allo people.

I love being aroace. I'm proud of it, I'm not ashamed of it, all of that. I don't want romance or sex or anything along those lines, and I'm happy with that.

But in a society that puts romantic love at the highest peak of importance, I'm left out

I've lost more friends than I can count because they got a partner and no longer wanted me around as much, because they asked to kiss me so I would know what it's like cause how could I not want to, because I wasn't comfortable playing dating sims with them.

I can't win with cishet allo people because they can't conceptualize it. They want things to be in their field of understanding, and I don't fit into that, so they question me. About everything. Then they get a partner and I lose them to some degree.

Its possibly even worse with queer people. My queer friends place so much of their identity in their sexuality that it's nearly impossible to fit into those spaces when your sexuality and romantic preference is nonexistent. Queer liberation has massively been about how love is love, but I don't fit into that and I never will.

Allo people would prefer it if I wanted to want a romantic relationship, I think. If I wanted to want it, then I wouldn't be broken. Then they could make dirty jokes about me instead of just with me. Then they could joke about how we were basically married without me ever recoiling in disgust.

Then they wouldn't feel as guilty when they forget about me when they get a romantic partner.

But if I wanted to want, allo people would double down on how I haven't met the right person or that I'm confused. If I'm not 100% happy being aroace all the time, I'm not aroace enough. And I'm clearly wrong.

Side note: Why do allo people think it's ok to wish they were aro and/or ace? It's not funny to joke about it when u are one of the people who fucking ostracize me for it. It's not funny when youre not dating anyone and call yourself aroace, it's not a choice and it's not silly. It's not cute when straight women call themselves lesbians because they're annoyed with men, it's not cute when straight men call themselves gay because they're annoyed with women, it's not funny when people joke about being aroace because they're annoyed with romance. Also, why do allo people not think before they say shit like 'if u don't fuck/date, what do u do? How are u human?'

I don't put a ton of stock into my new friendships with allo people anymore because I just fucking can't. If I do, I will be completely fucking crushed when they leave because I know that when I do value a friendship, I will always care more about the allo than they do about me. I am sick of caring about others more than they care about me, but this won't change until I meet another romance repulsed aro, who I haven't met yet because (shocker) being aro? Not the most common sexuality.

Tl;DR: I just... I can't fucking win. I'm too queer for straight ppl, not queer enough for queer ppl, too aroace if I don't go along with amatonormativity and not aroace enough if I don't. I'm lonely, my allo friends will always value others over me, and I constantly have people undermining my sexuality with stupid jokes and offhand comments. I'm sick of allo people.

[popculturebuffet]

X-Month: X-Men Blue Origins: Kurt has Two Mommies (Patreon Review for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy muties and welcome back to Mutant Month! And it wouldn't be mutant month without a look at the Krakoan age, the previous era of x-men that sadly just ended.

So quick recap: Krakoa was a living island the x-men lived on for the past 5 years, an island nation that offered them peace, security and immortality. This sadly could not last as status quos in comics do not last nor do dreams: So late last year at the third hellfire gala all hell broke loose: Orchis, a secret shadowy enclave of humans being manipulated by robots for their own ends, launched an attack, poinsing the life saving drugs krakoa had used to barter and killing everyone present at the gala who wasn't a mutant to frame them, while then tricking charles xavier into making everyone walk into a portal.. that lead to some limbo dimension instead.

The X-Men and associates resisted thanks to something Xavier had taught and passed on, something Al Ewing had came up with in his run on New Avengers and brought with him when he came onto the x-side of things, the red triangle protocol. Basically you focus on a red triangle to block out a psycic attack. SO the x-men and allies they presumibly taught it too resisted and went underground.

So the x-men were scattered to the winds leading to a bunch of mini series leading into the end of the era. And one of those is one of the most delightfully batshit and brilliant ideas of the krakoan age: The Uncanny Spider-Man. Ladies, gentlemen, and my nonbinary folks... Kurt Wagner.. was spider-man.

Uncanny Spider-Man was the third and final part of Simon Spurrier's trilogy of x-men books. Spurrier had previously worked on the awesome and underated X-Men Legacy, following Xavier's son legoin in the wake of Charles death and fleshing out Legion tremendously.

So unsuprisingly while Kurt was the main character of this , trying to find a spirtual way forward for a mutantkind that had put a stopper in death, Legion was the deutragonist, following kurt every step of the way and helping him found their own religion/way of life, the legion of x. This eventually collapsed thanks to david having to take his girlfriend and leave reality to escape a witch after his soul, while Orchis made Kurt into a monster man that killed people and not taking that well being who he is, Kurt vanished.

So he became a spider-man. It was with Peter's full approval, as Kurt needed to hide and like any good spider-man Kurt swung around, had fun and dodged his problems till they came down on him.

And during all of this, dodging his angst, dating silver sable, and other stuff.. Mystique came back, having escaped the gala but in a barely coherent state. And it's here our story picks up.

X-Men Origins Blue is a one shot taking place during uncanny, with the comic itself pointing out exactly where. And as the title suggests it gives the REAL origin of nightcrawler... or rather his birth.

Nightcrawlers origins are a complex topic I don't know enough about, but Chris Claremont's intent for them was made clear the second he brought Mystique over from Ms Marvel to the X-Men comics with days of future past: Kurt noted they looked similar.. and she brushed it off.

Then.. this wasn't adressed for some time until his excalibur run from what I could dig up (and parts I hadn't gotten to) where it was finally confirmed. So far so simple. Thing was Chris.. intended for Mystique to be not his mom.. but his biological father.

See Chris was progressive for his time when it came to queer characters, having a LOT of friendships that had sapphic overtones. It never felt like he was intentionally queerbaiting, merely that he coudln't do anything because JIm Shooter was gay. And while some you could debate he made his otp obvius: Mystique, mistress of shapeshifting and her lover, friend and confidant Destiny, a precog. He did everything he could to make it clear these two were a thing.

So it's not a suprise his plan was to have Myistque shapeshift into a man to impregnante Irene. Granted the time scale given her age dosen't completely add up, but honestly the idea is so audacious and brilliant i'm willing to ignore it. People saying "Well irene was too old" clearly forget this universe is fucking weird and that, as many on reddit pointed out, they knew sinister.

It's even less suprising Edittorial said fuck no because gays, and tried to give Mystique a case of the not gays forgetting.. she's bisexual. Even Claremont had that in mind as when Destiny was dying she left Mystique in forge's care having a vision of them together. He also wrote Kitty Pryde as bisexual and that later became canon.

So time passed and as far as I can tell there wasn't a clear winner for Kurt's dad. So enter Chuck Austen. For those of you who are bilsfully unaware of this guys existance and thus didn't want to reflexively go numb with terror at the mention of his name, a primer: Chuck Austen wrote Uncanny X-Men during Grant Morrison's legendary run on New X-Men and proceded to write the worst run in x-men history. That's not hyperbole and having recently read most of the 90's x-men comics to filll that gap in my history, it's not a high bar to clear.

Austen's run includes: A plot by the anti mutant church of humanity to install nightcrawler as pope then fake the rapture, mutanting Juggernaughts hetero lifemate black tom into a plant monster they only stopped by having leftover member from the previous run stacey x use her phermone powers to get him horned up, angel getting healing blood and being made a literal angel, angel's healing blood making him immune to aids which is brought up for no specific reason, Angel having aerial sex with a minor right above her poor mother, and Havok's relationship with Polaris being broken up because a nurse's psycic son got the two together while Havok was in a coma.

I.. I wish i'd made all of this up but no. He also killed off two beloved gen x characters, Skin and Synch, for no adquate reason. This isn't as wacky as the rest of that, but it's still a noticable fuck you. How he got away with this while Grant Morrison was chased out I don't know. I just.. don't know

SO you may be asking/dreading "What.. what else did he do to kurt?" and the answer? He took a mutnat famed for being one of the most kind , loving beings in the marvel universe who just so happened to look like a demon.. and made him half demon. He introduced Kurt's father Azazel who you may remember from First Class where he wasn't a demon nor kurt's dad. Both improvments. Yeah so we got a whole story I haven't forced myself ot read yet that spits on the characters concept and generally sounds awful and like a bargin bin version of Raven's arc from New Teen TItnas

Azazel was largely ignored for good damn reason till Jason Aaron brought him back and decided since he for whatever reason couldn't retcon him out to make the best of a bad situation: he made Azazel into a pirate who was stealing souls from heaven, forcing Kurt to summon his friends as a crew to have a pirate fight with his dad. I swear to god this will be covered some pirate month.

This helped a little but Aaron leaving the x-side of things and no one wanting to touch this left Azazel in the wind. So with the x-men at their peak and Myistque and Destiny at the center of things after she finally brought the latter back, the time seemed right ot finally fix this. So the question is simple: how do you fix the origin to it's original form while accounting for the demon man retcon and the baron introduced Mystique cucked. The answer is convoluted, fun and mildly beautiful and it's under the cut

We begin with atiny gremlin resembling an albino nightcrawler recapping where we're at up to this point, which i've already covered. The little guy is kurt's tiny friend that talks to him during his solo and narrates the recap for us. I'll also let him explain who he is

Fair enough. I also love the tone our little narrator keeps. Winking and nodding to the fact that while part of the narrative of Uncanny it's also a standalone mostly there for the retcons it's about to do and Spurrier's clearly aware plenty of future fans will read this on marvel unilimited or pick up the issue simply FOR this one reason.

So at this point Kurt is trying to comfort his mother whose lost in the memory of loosing her baby and this being Mystique is waving a pistol around at people. Kurt tries to help by giving her the version they both know: While Mystique and Destiny were firmly together for most of their very long lives, meeting in the 1900's with Mystiques past before that a giant question mark, they were on and off for a variety of reasons from normal couple issues to the simple facts of their powers: Raven is a shapeshifter meaning she's often living a whole other life that can't always acomedate the love of her life and Destiny being a precog means sometimes she has to go off and do shit to make sure things go the right way. So while they were wives for lives, they also had a very open marraige, with Raven taking partners for lonliness, to get by what have you and vice versa.

One of these was Christian Wagner, Kurt's alleged dad and a eurpoean count Raven hooked up with soley for money's sake and being a sexist dick, it wasn't easy. So she cheated on him with Azazel because sexy devil man, had his child and had to abandon kurt.. only.. the story isn't making sense to her and her head is hurting. After another round of his mommy waving a gun in his face, Kurt decides to cut the thing with the hopesword.

Thankfully Marvel knew this might be a lot for people reading Uncanny at the time and explained it in an article. Which is good for me as I haven't reread legion of x and forgot how the hell all this happened. So Nightcrawler's stepmom whose magic made mutants into rampaging monsters to help Orchis plan, Kurt included, hence the spider-man getup, and turned Kurt's hope into a sword that his friends made sure he got back.

Said sword is the hope of posisblity what can be and Kurt hands it to his mom in the hopes it'lll help her mind.. and not cut him in half. Lucky for Kurt he has a long history of taking a bet on someone everyone else says to run the fuck away from and it works.

So we get the FULL story and the full retcon of what happened, keeping Count Wagner and Azrael, but reframing it.

So like I said the two had an open marraige, with the two open to date whoever provided it benefitted them as a couple. Hence count wagner: he was rich, full of himself and has the kind of vibe that just screams "I cum in two minutes", so while obnoxious, he was easy enough to put up with as the long con was worth it and it was easy enough to get Irene in as her bang maid since Count Wagner really wasn't paying any attention to the house as long as it didn't cost him anything.

Instead of the torrid affair it was portrayed as in the past, Raven frames it as.. honestly way more realistic for how the characters are played in most comics not written by the nightcrawler pope guy.

It didn't help she sensed Raven was growing distance, figuring he was her fairwell gift. Raven's exact words. Which honestly satan's dick isn't the worst farewell gift but... get her a demon who can perform at least Irene sheesh.

Turns out though Irene had other plans.. she wanted to make a baby just the two of them. And I love Marcus To's art in this issue in general, beauitful, heartbreaking, well done, especially since as the one handling the present day wraparound he has to carry a LOT of emotion as the wraparound is mostly talking.. granted Kurt is wearing a spidey suit so only his eyes can emote for most of it but still. But I love this panel after she gives the reveal, as Raven sokes int he emotions

I also like the charcterization of Raven: Spurrier and To don't forget that Raven. .is a bad person. While I saw a complaint or two on reddit in doing research, honestly.. it dosen't sugarcoat it. She talks about the men she dated as toys she broke, waves a gun around and is harsh with Kurt, who she later reveals once she got the memories back she knew was her baby boy. Raven is a pragmatic person who wants whatever the hell she wants and will steal and kill to get it. Yet this tale.. still works. Just because a person is awful.. dosen't mean they can't love and just because neither Raven nor Irene is a good person... dosen't mean they don't deserve a child made of love. There were other births but this was thehirs.

Raven is also recast as nonbinary, saying the only real diffrence between genders is those who can be who they are and those denied the right and Raven Darkholme is who she is. I also find Kurt's inital bafflement that 'but your both women" hilariously naive for a man who was spending his time being a spider-man while palling around with what he knew deep down was the conciousness of one of his best friends pretending to be gremlin him, while wilding a sword made of pure hope.

The comic does retcon Mystiques abiliteis; she CAN change her dna. She dosen't often becasue she dosen't WANT to but given how she can fool any scanner imaginable this makes perfect sense. Her power isn't mimicking apperance.. it's altering her genes. We get a file page from Dr. Nemisis, an immortal mutant nazi hunter who played a supporting role in both previous spurrier nightcrawler books and who fleshes this out more. She's near omega levels. Omega is a term that was just vauge shorthand for "really powerful" that kept being used way too often, and which Jonathan Hickman helpfully redefined so it was still useable, but also limited it to a handful of mutants: any mutant whose power has no upper limit. The only reason he can't formally classify her as omega as he dosen't know if she could mimic x-genes or change her own. Basically a way that leaves the door open to that but dosen't shove it too open as it was clear Spurrier didn't really have time to get into this concept and left it for future writers to do more with.

So after a brain headache, Mystqiue presses on: she immediately dumped Azazel, who took it with a lot of bitch crying and "I'M DUMPING YOU YOUR NOT ME" nonsense as you'd expect.

Christian was less easy at first: while Raven grew a bump to match his , the Baron wanted a dna test. Which given Raven used a bunch of male dna she had lying around including his could've been bad. Thankfully Baron Incel walked in on them and honestly in other circumstances i'd feel bad; Raven cheated on him, was using him for money and slits his fucking throat.. but given he both calls them Sapphic Harlots, in what given the floating timeline would've been the early 90's, planning to have them WHIPPED for it...

So they go through with the pregnancy with Raven pretneding to both be her pregnant self and the baron, dismissing the staff and generally enjoying the process. She also keeps the prengancy belly even when not in public at times... to carry the prengancy with her wife. Awww. And I like this a lot.. is it idealized.. yeah. But again a bad person CAN be happy. Evil can love. Raven being terrible dosen't mean she can't genuinely have cared.

So the baby comes and the doctors.. arne't exactly impressed.. raven though

There are so many little touches to this I didn't notice the first time I read it... but this one is so damn good. The "see me".

Sadly this didn't last as naturally the doctors of 1990 in a small villiage weren't ready for sapphic mutants and their elf child so they attacked. The setup is as it was many times and showed up in x-men the animated series, evolution and others: nightcrawler is born, and the poor boy is, like too many mutants hated and feared just for being born. So Raven flees while Irene stays behind saying she'll be fine. And it's that last part that flips the script. Raven leaves her baby boy.. but unlike the past where she threw him away , choosing his life over hers.. she simply left him. That simple. She left him at the base of a tree to go save irene.. only to find as she said, she'd left. And when Raven returns.. Kurt is gone.

Kurt tries to comfort her in the present taking off the mask.... but she knows already. Kurt does see this as a possible new beginning because.. he's Kurt Wagner. He sees the good in people even after the many horrible things his mom has done. Mystique however sees it as the past: it was a lifetime ago, theyg rew apart and what's really important is seeing this memory through.

So a few years of in her words sex, violence and nihilism that meant nothing thorugh the pain later, Raven catches up to her wife in the usual way

Yeah the story dosen't really let Irene get away with things easy either. They only reconcile, and then only barely, because Destiny basically waves Rogue in front of her face and forces her to adopt the daughter Raven always wanted. I do like how the narrative dosen't cheapen her adopting Rogue either: While Destiny does again essnetially go "here's another child to raise", when confronted with what the pimps and pushers might do to this poor child , despite all the hate and needed explinations.. Raven's first insitnct.. is to comfort Rogue. She's still fucking pissed, at her worse.. but she sees a child lost due to her gift, needing her and ignores her pain to help.

So Destiny explains once their alone and Rogue is getting so me much needed sleep now happily adopted. Turns out the reason Kurt was abandoned.. was fate. And these retcons are the parts where the issue reaches a bit for me. The rest is fine: that Mystique did love her son once, as while her abandoning him is somewhat in character, her having genuinely loved him and given him away not because she wanted to but because Destiny played it that way feels more in character with who she's become, the more nuanced character versus the pure evil she could be at times especially in the late 2000's and 2010's.

This though.. is reaching. So Azazel of all people would've conquered thew orld, which I call bullshit on as while he was portrayed as a genuine threat, and admittedly I haven't read the draco because if i'm going to do it i'm damn well going to get some content out of it and possibly money, he was never.. this level. And sure he could purely focus on it but.. dr strange existead at this point. The idea he needed to be distracted isn't terrible but I don't buy from the story set up he needed that to be stopped. It's servicible enough but dosen't feel valid.

The second part is more... iffy. Kurt needed to grow up hated nad feared , left with Margalai and growing form his pain. That feels very chosen oney and I don't like it. Kurt is who he is not due to fate but who he is. Thankfully what saves this from being pure garbage.. is the reactions of mother and son to it. Kurt is broken up, not wanting ot think he's bound to fate this tightly and just a puppet on invisible strings, while Raven.. nearly chokes irene scremaing MY SON IS NOT A TOOL OF FATE.

So Irene knowing they can't go on like this decides to mindwipe the whole stuff, something Raven agrees to but unlike irene she wants to remember Kurt's her son. Unforutnately they went to Charles Xavier for this and he warns her what her mind might do and wipes his own mind. Because he can do that. This is flimsy, but it makes sense and while Raven blames charles saying he made her hate her child, it was her own brain doing that. He warned her it might happened and as usual she didn't listen.

But she's more upset that in her rage and need to move on she let herself forget breaking down.. and as usual kurt forgives her

It's pwoerful words.. and the truth. Destiny may of seen how things were going.. but Kurt isn't who he is because of some fated path. As much as I hate that chosen oney framing, the comic does a good job making it clear that whatever Destiny saw.. Kurt is his own man.. and he's a man who wants the mom he never really had back. So the two forge an uneasy possible future, walking off.... tommorow is another day.

And so far this has stuck. Irene got restored too not wanting it at first but accepting kurt once she did get her memories properly restroed, and while both left, it wasn't to just abandon their kids, but simply because of that whole fate thing combind with being wandering soles. Plus it's easier for them to show up later in uncanny than have them in the cast from day one. Raven and Irene wander, it's what they do. So for now Kurt seems to be joining the cast of Uncanny X-Men while Myistque is getting her own mini up to some mysterious gameplan. But wherever they go... Kurt now has two mothers who love him.

X-Men Blue Origins is a fantastic issue packed with tons of fantastic emotoinal artwork, great writing and a really compelling wraparound as our heroes go through this story and find the truth. It also does the best it can to stand alone while not ignoring the story it's part of and nicely implements an idea decades in the making. This CAN go wrong as just because a great writer came up with it dosen't mean it's.. good as claremont also had some less stellar concepts, see x-men forever for that. Another sword of damocles over my head for another day. It's a great issue and well worth checking out on Marvel Unilmited or if you find it in a back issue bin or online or whatever and a gloriously gay idea executed at long last.

Next Time: We close out the month with a list! My top 12 x-runs! From factors to men it's the best of x