#since I literally have no social media except for like YouTube and Snapchat

[gatheryepens]

Okay so an artist I like will be eventually touring in my country but I didn’t sign up for access for tickets (I think?) so I’m unsure whether I can still buy tickets or not

[trippin-over-my-fandoms]

I’ve seen this done before but here are my modern!rdr2 social media headcanons for the Van der Linde gang.

some of these are LONG and then some are shorter. doesn’t mean I love any of them any less however. I just did my best with all of them. 

* I treat the gang as family especially for my modern au 

Dutch

frequently uses Facebook and has dozens of friends he doesn’t even know. like if he gets a friend request he’ll accept it. John tells him he might as well just make his page public and Arthur pleads with him to make a facebook PAGE so that his random friends will stop liking posts that Arthur tags Dutch in. 

Dutch has no idea how to make a facebook page. 

he also has a Twitter and a massive following at that. He’s VERIFIED. 

all of his twitter posts are vague though

are they a joke? are they political? is it what he’s eating for lunch that day? literally no one knows.

Hosea

also has facebook but doesn’t use it because why does he need to look at pictures of events he was at. he only uses it to see things he didn’t partake in

also has snapchat but just to keep up with the kids 

because life360 was too much to deal with for everyone

and snapchat is cool

also he can and will spam you with bitmojis 

Arthur

used to use facebook a lot but stopped because he was tired of his posts getting likes from people he didn’t know and friend requests from people Dutch was friends with. 

plEASE

he has a private facebook for a reason, he doesn’t want other people to know his business. 

he also has an instagram but anything he posts on facebook also goes on there. it’s not aesthetic or pretty or anything and he doesn’t even caption over half his pictures. 

he literally only uses social media so that his friends and family know he’s alive

has snapchat because of Hosea but barely knows how to use it 

doesn’t get why everyone wants to use snapchat when teXTING AND CALLING ARE RIGHT THERE

John

the question is what doesn’t he have.

john has been trying to make it big on social media since youtube came out.

his youtube used to have videos on it but he deleted them because they were cringy and arthur liked to send them to the group text. 

plays twitch games on the weekends and sometimes with Jack but he thinks most of the subscribers are there for his kid since most of his solo streams don’t do as well

has a twitter, doesn’t follow Dutch, literally envies that he’s verified. 

he’s tried everything but no matter what he does nothing pans out

uses tiktok to promote twitch streams

instagram feed is mostly selfies of him but 99.9% of the time he’s wearing sunglasses and the caption is some random quote 

also has facebook but only to appease Arthur and Dutch, he doesn’t even have a profile picture. Claims only boomers use it. 

an avid reddit user. if he’s got problems he’ll go to reddit. claims reddit saved his life. everyone’s tired of the story so they stopped asking. 

also uses snapchat more than he should and the only social platform he has more than 100 followers on. 

Charles

same as arthur and has both facebook and instagram and posts the same on both except his are pleasing to look at. 

they’re unintentionally aesthetic 

he uses a psd on all his pictures and won’t share what it is

has monthly life updates that start with some inspirational or deep quote and then text that pushes the instagram word limit

also has a deviantart , has shared psds there before , constantly tries to convince Arthur to get it. 

used to use tumblr but he forgot about it

Abigail

the definition of a facebook mom. 80% of her facebook posts are about Jack or parenting. 

Instagram is similar but also different, she’s actually a relatively successful influencer with over 1,000 followers. 

all of her friends and family (who have instagram) follow her

has snapchat solely for the cute bitmojis and to send John adorable snaps of Jack playing with all the fun filters. 

she also won’t take a selfie unless it’s with snapchat because she no longer trusts her own camera. 

also uses pinterest and has a collaborative board with all the ladies. 

but in general, on her own, she has too many boards. she uses pinterest for EVERYTHING 

Sadie

bold of you to assume she uses social media. 

she does just not a whole lot. 

checks it once in the morning and once at night. 

except pinterest because how dare Abigail get her into it. but even pinterest she only uses in downtime. 

has facebook and instagram but there’s maybe only five posts.

if anything she’ll post on her story

will only snap Abigail and Arthur otherwise she doesn’t use snapchat

all of the social apps are mostly offloaded on her phone anyways

if she needs to know anything she just checks the group text which she has on do not disturb because they text way too much. 

Molly

she’s verified on instagram 

it’s also the only social platform she’ll use, which frustrates Dutch because he wants to be friends with her on facebook

but she’s happy with just instagram 

she keeps it simple 

and the main theme to her posts are fun outfits in her ever expanding closet

the other posts are usually of plants that she’s managed to grow. she’s not the best at being a plant mom but she’s still a good one to the ones she’s managed to keep alive. 

the only thing she contributes to the pinterest board are her own pictures of her plants which are overly aesthetic. 

Karen

started out with a normal instagram account then made a spam account which she ended up using way more often.

all of her posts are extremely chaotic

and usually reposts from her snapchat

has a reddit just to troll John

reposted his cringy youtube videos to reddit and got hundreds of upvotes

if you wanna see the most raw and chaotic videos of Arthur and John then she’s the one to follow. 

also if you wanna see Abigail when she’s not all put together. 

is the reason there’s so many memes in the collaborative pinterest board

Mary-Beth

has a instagram but also has a second instagram for art and book reviews

or basically anything she’d post on her tumblr

which is her second most used social

also uses facebook but only because she is an admin for one of those multifandom blogs. 

also begs Arthur to get a deviantart. 

uses pinterest most but only second to Abigail

literally the queen of pinterest DIYs

Micah

has twitter

as far as anyone else knows that’s all he has

maybe he has snapchat?

maybe they saw him on snapmaps once? 

all he ever does with twitter though is retweet anything Dutch posts.

yet somehow he has so many followers. 

Lenny

anyone who has snapchat has streaks with Lenny

even Hosea who doesn’t understand why it’s a thing

he also posts a lot on facebook but it’s mostly travel or vacation photos everyone is just a tad jealous of. 

Lenny always seems to be busy but still has time for streaks with his friends. 

he’s also an up and coming youtube vlogger

Sean

also has reddit to troll john

but he also legitimately uses it too. 

he’s also really popular in the minecraft subreddit , don’t ask

also has twitch and also has way more subsribers than John

and a youtube which he’ll upload (overly edited) twitch streams to

everyone subscribes to him but they don’t tell John that.

also has a tiktok and is up to date on all the trends because of course he is

Kieran

got facebook when he was 10 and just never left.

literally doesn’t use any other social media

he’s not in the group text either so he has to facebook message Arthur to know what’s going on. 

but he shares a lot of memes and cute pictures of animals

he used to follow Dutch but unfriended him when he was the only thing he ever had on his activity feed. 

Susan

has facebook but claims she doesn’t have time to use it

Arthur knows this to not be true because she will like a lot of his posts. 

she’s also guilty of liking every single picture in one post or album. 

Arthur has also caught her looking at memes and using recipes she finds on there. 

also part of the pinterest board but never contributes. 

Trelawny

he has an account for everything

like

litereally

everything. 

even whatsapp and linked in and kik

even tinder

the only one anyone knows about are his facebook, twitter, and instagam

but there’s no posts on any of them except twitter

he’s also verified

but for unknown reasons

any posts on his facebook are ones he’s tagged in

he’s also in a lot of facebook groups

Strauss

runs a subreddit

a paid facebook admin of several pages

the only person who actually knows this is Dutch because Strauss has told him about it

he has no online presence whatsoever out side of those.

Javier

spotify king

has over 500,000 subscribers on youtube

uses instagram but as another platform for his music

edits his own album covers

top tier playlists too

Tilly

aesthetic queen

the most put together and pleasing to look at instagram feed next to Charles. 

uses pinterest a lot as inspiration and for making moodboards.

also uses tumblr to share moodboards

part of the sims global community facebook group

she keeps saying she’s going to start a youtube vlog but hasn’t yet

keeps trying to convince John to let her help him with his youtube.

she also uses twitch to play minecraft and sims

oh and she set up a minecraft server for everyone

Bill

facebook boomer

that’s it

I don’t know how else to put it

probably shares heavily republican posts

Swanson

didn’t use social media until tiktok.

he doesn’t do dances or anything but he does post weirdly obscure and chaotic videos that end up trending on more than one occasion

it’s usually drunk ramblings in his car that end up being hilarious

or videos of the others almost dying or ending up in the ER

Pearson

facebook boomer but make it cool.

also shares conservative posts but less offensive ones compared to Bill’s

likes almost every post any of his friends share

also comments on them too

Uncle

does he have social media? no one knows for sure. 

yet somehow he knows what’s going on

even if nobody can find any of his social accounts or have ever seen him using one before let alone doing anything on his phone other than playing cheesy mobile games.

[sgnsubin]

GENERAL

what kind of cell phone do you have? : the iphone 11 pro in black (but the template i had was the 6 so just pretend it’s the right phone HAHAHAHA)

how often do you use your cell phone? : literally like 24/7

what is your phone’s lock screen photo? : marshal (like in the picture)

what is your phone’s home screen photo? : plain black bc he’s trying to be an eboy but it used to be a picture of his birthday cake

how many contacts do you have in your phone? : too many to count

do you customize contact names or enter as given names? if customize : subin just usually adds “hyung” or “nuna” after names. @sgnseungwoo is the exception as he’s just “hyung” and their older sister is just “nuna”

what is their default ringtone? : he hasn’t had his phone off silent since he first got it 

do you have personalized ringtones for your contacts or does everyone use the default ringtone? : default, but as mentioned his phone is literally always on vibrate

how many alarms do you have set and why? : two, one to wake him up and one to get him out of bed

what are your top 3 most used apps? : melon, twitter, kart-rider

what are your favorite apps? : melon, tiktok, youtube

what are your last 3 google searches or the last 3 things you’ve asked your built in ai? : “hey siri what time is it” “hey siri, how expensive is the most expensive cat food” and googled “cute cat blankets” “blankets for cats” “cute blankets for cats”

do you delete your internet search history or use incognito mode? if so, how often, and why? : he doesn’t delete it bc he doesn’t care

do you download music or use a streaming app? if so, which one and why? : streaming app! and it’s melon

what are the last 3 songs you’ve listen to on your phone? : gang official remix - sik-k, buck - woodz, lost stars - adam levine

what does your photo album consist of? : pictures of food, some accessories, a lot of pictures of all his hyungs, HIS CAT, selfies

what is your texting style? do you reply quickly or are you a slow texter? do you send several messages at a time or paragraphs? : separate texts, subin has no qualms against double/triple/quadruple/+more texting, he’s always on his phone so he almost always responds right away unless he’s gaming or in class

what are the last 3 texts you’ve sent? : to @sejunsgn “hyung can you get me ice cream”, to @sgnchan “hyung can you get me ice cream”, to @sgnseungsik “hyung can you get me ice cream”

who do you text the most? : his future roommate eyes emoji, @sgnseungwoo, probably @sgnyeeun

what are your top 6 used emojis? : 🥰👀🥳🔥😏🥴

how often do you call others? : almost never :) unless it’s his family

who where the last 3 calls made to and why? : his mom, probably @sgnseungwoo, also probably @sgnseungsik

who do you call the most? : his mom

do you have someone blocked? if so, who and why? : no one

are you apart of any group chats? with who? : ones with @sgnseungwoo and @sgndanbi, one with his whole family (mom, dad, older sister and @sgnseungwoo) i need to plot w more people

do you use the notes app? : yes for passwords and for groceries

SOCIAL MEDIA

what is your most used social media app? : twitter

how often do they use social media? : literally all the time

what are your social media usernames, and what is the meaning behind them? : hs00b for almost everything, h for han and 00 for the year 2000 which is his birthday year and soob/sub is his nickname

what are your last 3 posted tweets? : “i hate the heat why is it so hot” “what are the chances of me getting a hyung to bring me ice cream” “got my ice cream 😊”

do they have a pinned tweet? if so, what is it? : none

is their twitter public or private? : public

what is their last instagram post? : a mirror selfie

what does their instagram explore tab consist of? : cute cartoons, cats, dance videos

what is their instagram aesthetic? : eboy but also lowkey cat mom 

last snapchat sent? : n/a he doesn’t use snapchat

do you have snapchat streaks with anyone? if so, with who and for how many days? : n/a

how many friends do you have on facebook? : 200+ bc of all his high school friends 

3 liked pages on facebook? : baskin robbins, bhc chicken, relatable memes

are you involved in any facebook groups? if so, which ones? : none

which vines or tiktoks do you relate to? : anything about being tired or eating food

do you use any dating apps? if so, which ones and how often? : n/a he’s not particularly interested in dating rn

[ayakashiramblings]

Dawn and Twilight’s Social Media Accounts

Kuya

@NevermoreButSnore.

1230 followers.

Yes, I copied Edgar Allan Poe. Yes, I’m not sorry about the rhyme. Or calling him out. 

Not that he really cares.

Insists that he is a headcanon creator on Twitter 

Everyone who follows him knows that he is lying. 

If we really had to classify him as a writer, it would one who posts those way-too-accurate posts about writers complaining about writing. 

Like the notebook hoarding one. Not that anyone here in the fandom is guilty of that, haha... haha... ha.

Ironically is one of the more popular ones out of the whole group. 

His flat responses and laziness are way too prominent to NOT be noticed. 

If you actually tentatively sneak into his DMs though, for writing tips, he will patiently listen and... rather bluntly advise you. 

It’s still advice though and is always the type to check out and reblog any short fanfics.

It just has to be weird, sporadic hours because he is the type to fall asleep with the phone on his face. 

Koga Kitamikado

1230 followers.

@CapitalKayKay

Listen, there is a reason why a lot of successful businesses chose Instagram as their social media so Koga is no exception. 

What makes his account stand out, as you can see from his rather cheeky username, is that he is willing to be an open book. 

So he isn’t constantly shoving down any products he is sponsoring or whatever piece he is endorsing. 

It’s more of genuinely wanting to hang out and explore what the world has to offer. 

Whenever he posts a picture of the gang together, he’s the one tagging all of them, even the ones with hard usernames.

And there’s always a nice comment thanking whoever hosted the fun time or being appreciative of the area and the locals.

It helps that he has a sense of humour so the memes are always just the right amount of teasing but nothing too bad that will deter potential clients.

Because of his down-to-earth nature, he reels everyone in.

Uses the space to invite everyone following him on any celebration/casual outing.

The thing is... he has a lot of followers.

So... good luck.

Aoi

1150 followers.

@DeredArtTooTsun

Look, even he knows he is a Tsundere. It’s a small victory getting him to acknowledge that, let alone use it to brand himself here.

But god, he’s the man I’m most jealous of on Tumblr.

PERFECT BULLET JOURNALS AND SKETCHES.

Got the spreads that literally define ‘aesthetic’, a perfect lineup of art materials even with pencils that have their numbers faded, and somehow, the emotions can pass through the paper and screen.

Even does tutorials on perspectives, positions with cute annotations. Just don’t praise them for being adorable though and focus on improving your skills, dummy.

Ironically though, it’s his mindless vents that get the most number of notes.

It helps that the pics include him, a very cute... I mean... manly boy screaming at very, very hot men.

A bit baffled but whatever it takes to get commissions. 

That’s right, he takes them. At least there is a back-up option should the restaurant ever go out of business. 

Spoiler Alert: Still doesn’t get paid as much. People, have you seen the number of talented artists here? Aoi might be in the rankings but it’s still hard attracting business.

Support your fandom artists, everyone!

Ginnojo

1000 followers. Just nice.

Ginnojoz

Poor grandpa didn’t intend to put that extra ‘z’ letter, it was a typo because scales don’t get along with haptic touch. 

And unfortunately, doesn’t understand how to change it. 

Once, he was huge on Vine before it died. The end of an era that he has to witness again. RIP.

Gin-Gin, it is RIGHT. THERE.

Expect to find his super short self-defence videos and Book Club Readings on YouTube.

Girls actually appreciate his instructions and attempts to provide help even if they are alone. 

He did try to respond to the nice ones and actually succeeds. 

It’s always easier getting to know the language of women when you don’t really see/touch them.

A deep baritone is perfect for some sexy excerpt of a historical novel... 

Until he corrects the setting.

In fact, he sometimes rage-quits and rewrites it. 

Unlike Kuya, him doing those established ideas actually catches on. 

Yura and Gaku

1500 followers.

MelodyandTheBeat. 

... Tik-tokers. Tik-Tok people? 

WTH do you call them?

As you can see, they are the most popular since it’s combined stardom.

Look, their covers and music mixes are beautiful.

They always have their own version that somehow combines traditional Japanese music... with k-pop.

And of course, food porn. 

Just be grateful there isn’t that awful squelching sound you hear when you consume jelly or the breaking of chilli seeds. 

Listen, I usually separate them because it’s never nice to be grouped as having the same activity as your twin. 

But in this case, being both equally beautiful AND talented sells their uploads. 

Even the cringy ones made because Yura is such a Luddite. 

Like just turning his head and being amazed his hair can turn so many colours, being impressed with each tilt until he gets to a black shade. 

Suddenly hurls the phone away. Gee, wonder why? Guess black isn’t the new... black for him?

Gaku sometimes even introduces new filters he created based on Yura’s random requests that strangely get circulated on the site. 

Oji

550 followers all know Oji-Sanz

Unlike Ginnojo, he deliberately adds the ‘z’ letter to sound cool.

You wanna know what’s worse? 

He actually uses Facebook. 

Aoi decides to give up on him. Nobody blames the poor student.

It’s apparently some old form of social media? Never used it, no sirree. 

Always changing his relationship status but at the end of the day, he’s single and ready... 

To post about all the lovely ladies destined to enter his restaurant. 

He thinks it’s great publicity. 

It really isn’t but one good thing about Oji is he includes EVERYONE.

This man respects his customers and always helps advertise their wares, especially if their connections lead to more resources. 

And less grocery shopping on his part.

Does post the recipes he and Aoi created but will never use because the Milk Hall had a certain style to follow.

Officially makes Aoi his son... on Facebook at least. 

Aoi now tolerates the account. 

Barely. 

Toichiro Yuri

WhatheMeSay has 1231 followers! 

In your face @CapitalKayKay and @NevermorebutSnore!!

You know, I’m so glad that there aren’t any users with those names because I’d be so scared of accidentally tagging them.

Also, geddit? Because... What the fox say? 

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding... yeah, I’ll stop.

Pinterest Guy. And actually does spend on his ‘hobby’ to show off to everyone.

It does boost you and your father’s sales so there is nothing to complain about. 

His boards are always alliterated just to sound super catchy and it works so long as he gets the right emoji. 

Kabuki plays better be promoted or else.

Filled with candid pictures of his victims all taken at different angles you didn’t know were possible and in varying degrees of hilariously misunderstood positions.

He even supplies a donation link, heavily leveraged by his followers, since there are incentives tied to it like early access.

A bit suspicious the photos look like cropped out parts from Koga’s posts and some of the text resembles Kuya’s... er... wisdom?

He takes an unholy amount of selfies when he thinks no one is looking and so they are always surprised upon finding them on the Selfie Board. 

There is a locked board that no one can access, even his followers who are his comrades in real life. 

It’s actually just one picture in there. 

It’s you smiling and giggling at a joke of his. Not even you know it’s been taken. Guess he is as soft as his fur, eh? He better come out soon or else.

Kuro

Kuroruohtumbling

Ginnojo is unfortunately just old enough to have grown up with Scooby-Doo to understand the reference.

Snapchat, like a snapping snake! Hiss!

Unironically loves the puppy face.

Ok, but the glimpses of his stunts help show snippets of the circus life. 

He and his whole troupe family will even don costumes best suited for certain filters.

Sometimes ropes in Ginnojo... and by sometimes, I mean enough for everyone to start wondering if the stoic man is part of the act. 

To be fair, he randomly hugs people and ranks them here.

You, of course, were number 1. 

Now, if only he didn’t use the bloody song to announce it but you forgive him.

Maybe even risks revealing his ayakashi form before deleting the message to you.

Loves making international fans and learning various languages through each post, sort of like flashcards but animated and more fun!

And with 1200 followers, he might become a polyglot like Koga.

Shizuki 

Everyone bans him from creating one. 

Because they know the power of his roasts is too great. 

Little do they know he goes undercover. 

Underground.

And under their noses.

That’s right. His rant town on... MySpace. 

Unapologetically uses a good chunk of his salary from serving the House of Yuri just to get nifty themes that help with the whole burning process. 

Look, there’s a reason he and Oji are friends. 

This is why. 

Their taste in women seems fine but we really have got to do something about their affinity towards DEAD PLACES.

To be fair, he made the whole thing drunk but that doesn’t mean he should maintain it SOBER.

He just feels that it is a waste of space if he doesn’t utilize it. 

And it also becomes kind of cathartic. From the intrusive hugs to his master and Sir Gaku irking each other to no end, he needs it. 

Zero followers... but only because it’s super private. 

It becomes 1 the moment you jokingly create an account. 

[cartiabianchi]

{ CINDY KIMBERLY . CIS FEMALE .  21 . SHE/HER}  did you see that { CARTIA BIANCHI } just pulled up in hidden hills with { DEVON MAIN } sitting next to them in the passengers seat - isn’t that cute ! you know, for a { MODEL }, i’ve heard they’re really { BITCHY }, but that they make up for it by being so { LOYAL }. i see them all the time on snapchat && yesterday in US WEEKLY i read that they { HAVE } 2 kids - can you believe that ?!

some basics;

Cartia Bianchi is 21 years old.

She was born on September 23rd

Mother to Ronnie (3) with Vinny  and Olive (8 Months) with Devon

She was born and raised in Miami Florida with a single mom who had no clue what she was doing. She had her at 16 and it was a mess.

Lives HERE.

Model, Youtuber, Vlogs, Tik Tok’s, Music Video Girl and does lots of work with companies on collaborating and representing their companies products.

Also has money from her dad’s side of the family that she has saved up for years that accumulated overtime. Her dad being a big druglord sucked except for the cash constantly put in her savings accounts.

As soon as Cartia hit her teenage years, she was forced into sleeping and partying with older men by her own mother.

Her mom, Serenah, was just as reckless and would bring Cartia alongside her to bars and events. Father is in jail for life.

He could easily have other kids out there, Serenah doesn’t check her facebook messages.

When she was just 16, a local rapper used her in his video and promised to make her blow up in payment for being the star of it. He wasn’t lying. From there, she was in and became a model.

Best friends with Jordyn since she moved out to LA at 17. That’s how and where she met Vinny & co!

as a mother;

Ronnie Giancola was born 3 years ago and has more of Vinny’s traits than Cartia’s. He has dirty blonde hair, her dark eyes and skin, but his lips are just like daddy’s.

Olive Kay Main was born 8 months ago and is a perfect mixture of her mommy and daddy! She has rare, beautiful eyes, the sweetest smile that will make you melt and truly is such a daddy’s girl.

She had to leave her relationship with Vinny, but more importantly as a mother to Ronnie for her mental health when she suffered PPD 6 months after having him.

Cartia is super overprotective and hard on herself as a mom.

She is currently working on her relationship with Ronnie alongside Vinny as parents to him, hoping she can win her son back over and help him become accustomed to being with her and living with her as well.

She wants to be the mother to her kids that she never had. That includes discipline and shielding her kiddos from the world of things they’re too young for or not ready to take on.

Cartia is the kind that dresses her baby girl head to toe in matching designer fits, is getting her into baby modeling and barely trust anyone to hold her.

Olive is already tiktok famous and has an amazingly cute personality! She is full of giggles and loves to love on her mama. But people don’t know exactly who she is because Cartia keeps her name private, especially with Devon’s fame level.

Though Serenah wants to be in Olive’s life, she makes no effort to come out to LA and visit her. She posts photos on facebook or instagram that she has taken from Cartia and it annoys her to no end.

As a baby mama, she is tough. She is overbearing but giving her background, it makes sense? She never had a father in her life, so is afraid of her baby daddies getting overwhelmed by her, but at the end of the day, she has to put her kids first.

background;

Half spanish, half indonesian.

Has modeled since she was 12. 

Knows social media plays a huge factor in her success and growing following, so she vlogs and tik toks regularly.

Cartia has worked with MK, Rhianna, Kim K, D&G and many more.

She’s constantly rumored to have dated rappers after the video of her at 16, but she never confirms or denies allegations. Paying attention to a story is too much work for her.

Is in love with the idea of a family with Vinny, but in love with Devon in a different way. But the fact that both had other children and seemed to move on from her has her still struggling with anxiety.

Edgar, her father, was in jail for life for trafficking drugs and other crimes. She is daddy’s princess and he would lose it if he finds out about what his side piece, Serenah, did to his own daughter. He is SO overprotective but serving life in prision?

Neither Vinny or Devon know about the full extent of the trash things her mother put her through. She knows she needs to open up to someone else about it, she does, but is too afraid to. It’s too much vulnerabilty for her at this point. Even though she’s literally had their babies. They know that her mom had her doing bad things, but not exactly what she endured and for how long.

Hasn’t had a drink in a while, she still breast feeds and plans to for a long time with Olive. She didn’t with Ronnie and is doing everything she can to prevent PPD from happening again. She has taken placenta pills and does weekly therapy sessions.

Wishes Devon didn’t get someone else pregnant while she was. Thought that he was into her, but understands why he’s wonky about her, questions her feelings for Vinny and knows she has to fix her shit.

personality;

100% a Libra

She comes off as bitch to most, but has a soft spot for those she loves. Protects them like her life depends on it.

That mom bitching at others in line places if they mess with her kids.

Cartia will fight anyone about anything. Even if she is on the wrong standpoint of things, she will never back down or admit her wrongs.

Always willing to throw hands when she has to for anyone.

This girl loves to drink now that she is of age, but hasn’t in a long damn time. She’s been sneaking vodka and wine for far too long so invite her to the bar or over for drinks and she’ll be the happiest girl ever.

Food is something she struggles with. It’s hard to keep model thin, especially post baby, so she loves to be active and has an in-home gym because deep down she is afraid of being judged.

Making friends doesn’t come easy for her, she was homeschooled for high school because of her mom’s constant troubles with truancy and Cartia’s lack of care or drive for anything involving school work.

Traveling is her favorite thing to do. Even if it’s just a road trip or a private jet, she’s game.

She really needs mom friends!

[purplesurveys]

740

‘Does your best friend bother you more than anyone else? This is so weird. Someone wouldn’t be my best friend if all they did was annoy me. If one of my best friends did start to bother me with anything they’re doing, we’re close enough for me to comfortably call them out on it. Who is your best friend? Angela and Gab. Do you like someone right now? A lot more than that at this point. Do you even think you stand a chance with this person? I’ve been with them a handful of years now, so yes. Do you consider yourself truly happy? Not truly. I can generally keep myself happy but I’ll sometimes have days where I’m anxious, angry, hurt, confused, lost, or all of the above. It’s a work in progress.

How often do you cry? I want to say at least once a week; that's pretty accurate. Are you emotional? Yes. What is the worst thing you would do for 10 million dollars? I find these questions so stressful to think about lol. Just give me scenarios to do for $10 million and I’ll tell you if I’m willing to do it. Have you ever had/do you have an eating disorder? [trigger warning] No. But when my depression was at its roughest a part of me wanted to try adding self-starvation to the other methods I was already using to harm myself at the time. Didn’t really work out. Have you ever cut/burned yourself intentionally? Cut, yes. Burned, technically yes, but I didn’t know it would hurt me. When I was 7 I thought I had some sort of invincibility so I placed a finger on a clothes iron that was plugged in at the time. So I kinda did it on purpose, but not because I wanted to burn myself lol? If that makes sense? What do you think of people that do? Hope that they have people around them who care for them and can help them pull themselves out of that hole. What's your opinion on drugs? Have you ever done any? Scary, especially the hard drugs. I’ve seen Breaking Bad, Trainspotting, and Requiem for a Dream to know not to try them lol. I’ve only had milder ones like caffeine, nicotine, and painkillers. Have you ever noticed the hidden adut jokes inside of kid shows/movies? When I encounter the episodes these days, yeah I would notice them. When I was a kid they used to be just sentences that didn’t make sense to me. Do you want to be famous? Why? I’m not opposed to it. I wanna be able to travel places, get freebies, and afford a lot of nice clothes, but I’m also not willing to do absolutely anything or lose who I am just to get famous.

Do you sin often? I don’t really think of that anymore. What are your views on God? Nope. What do you think happens after you die? I go to sleep permanently, which for me is the most peaceful way to think of death. Sometimes if I’m feeling a little alone or helpless, it’s just as comforting to also think of the possibility of reuniting with my lost loved ones when I die, like my lolo or the great-grandparents I never met. Are you afraid to die? I’m afraid of dying painfully, if anything. Like I don’t want to be stuck in a burning room or have a ceiling collapse on me, you know? If you had the chance, would you want to know the date of your death? Yes. Have you ever felt that you weren't good enough? Of course. Do you have any siblings? If so, are you jealous of them? Yes. I’m not jealous/envious of Nina, but I do sometimes wish I had a talent that was as tangible and recognizable as hers – she’s an artist and an editor, and very good ones. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Why or why not? I mean we don’t hate each other, but I wouldn’t go running to their arms if I had a problem. We have a more buddy-type relationship.

Are you always wanting more? Yep, I’m quite materialistic. Do you make good first impressions? You’d have to ask the people I’ve ever met. I hope I do, though. Do you feel bad for obese people, or do you just laugh? I am so unimpressed with this question.  What would you do if you were obese? Idk, it would depend on the mindset I have once I’m at that point. Are you ashamed of your past? Not ashamed. I just wish it had a lot more happier days. Do you miss your past? No. Do you have a song lyric that describes where you are in life right now? Ain’t it fuuuuun living in the real wooooorld ain’t it goooood being all alooooone Who are you closest to in your family? In my immediate family, it’s probably my sister. But generally speaking, it’s my eldest first cousin on my mom’s side. Do you ever open up to people? Yes, but I’m also private. Like I wouldn’t just share my life story with anyone - you have to ask about it and know which questions to ask. Do you consider yourself guarded? Why or why not? Sure. I’ve had shitty people come in and go out of my life throughout the years. Are you an honest person? I guess. Do you like animals? Love them, except cockroaches and flying cockroaches.

Do you think doctors prescribe medicine too often? I...don’t really have an opinion lol and I don’t know if I should. I don’t know the first thing about medical ethics. Are you a control freak? In a group setting, mostly yep. Do you enjoy getting drunk, or do you feel like you're losing all control? I like getting drunk but only until a certain point, i.e. when I feel giddy enough to socialize with strangers or start dancing. I’ve had a couple of bad experiences from drinking too much and it’s always so embarrassing the day after. What do you think happens when you go into a coma? I’ve read accounts on Reddit from people who used to be in one and the stories vary. Some stayed passed out through the whole thing, others dreamt in a lot of vibrant colors, others had dreams that they considered metaphors for dying, others were a little aware of what was happening or being said around them. Do you think the internet is dangerous? I know it is, lmao.

Name all the social networking sites you use: Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, YouTube, Linkedin. I re-installed Snapchat recently but I don’t use it for social media. Do you think anyone truly knows who you really are? My best friends do, in different ways. Have you ever given anyone the chance to really get to know you? Yes. Do you block people out of your life when they start to get too close? No. It’s very rare that that gets to happen so when it does, I keep them around. Who do you think has the most pressure to be good-looking; guys or girls? I think both experience a lot of pressure in very different ways. It’s not a contest. Do you care what impression you make on people? Kinda, especially if they make the wrong one lmao. Do you think TV is too much of an influence on today’s youth? If anything today’s TV has a lot of responsible representation from sexual consent and coming out and mental health to POCs, which gives off a suuuuper positive influence to kids and young teens these days who now feel like they can see themselves in the characters they meet and scenarios they see. Racism, sexism, homophobia, and all the other -isms and -phobias never get to fly by in this age anymore and that’s a great thing too. Just look at Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Sex Education, Itaewon Class, and I wanna say The Good Place? but I’ve never seen it. What do you think people would do if all the computers crashed? I honestly think that would be the last straw that would break the camel’s back for people to start chaotically freaking out lol. There’s too much happening as it is. Honestly, do you say racist things? Filipinos in general are resentful towards mainland Chinese but that’s because they have bullied us for so long, they’ve literally shit on our historical parks, they keep buying our lands, they claim our seas, and they belittle and mistreat Filipinos, especially the ones who work as OFWs in China. We wouldn’t be as racist if most of them didn’t act like such assholes to begin with. Personally, I don’t verbally say racist stuff but I will judge mainland Chinese in my head if I come across them or hear another incident of them misbehaving. Do your parents put way too much pressure on you? No, which I’m quite grateful for. They just let me do my thing, they ask me what jobs I want without hinting what they want for me, they let me fantasize about my dream purchases once I have a salary without guilt-tripping me over letting them have a share of my money, that kind of stuff. Has anyone you loved ever died? Two big people in my life. Do you think people overreact when their pets die? Not at all. Pets are family, and everyone’s reactions are valid. I remember when Lorde’s dog died and people were either 1) making fun of her and called her overreacting when she said she was gonna be unable to release new music for the meantime, or 2) stoked that her new music is probably gonna be sad and emotional because of her dog’s death, and I thought both were terrible. Do you know who you are, or what you want to become? I’m getting there, don’t pressure me lmfao. Do you have your future mapped out? Or are you just taking it day by day? Day by day. I have a good big picture planned out, but I also like living in the now. What are you going to do now? I dunno if I want to take another survey or watch YouTube videos now. But directly after hitting post on this I’ll definitely take another sip of my coffee and give my dog cuddles for a few minutes since he just woke up from his nap.

[wastedstudies]

how i survived ib

hello, kalice here! it’s been a really long time since i used my studyblr, and i was going to do this awhile back, but it completely slipped my mind as i was busy applying for universities and such so here it is~

i took ib from 2017 to 2018, and i sat for the 2018 november paper and got 41 points in total the subjects i took were hl language and literature (6), hl chinese b (6), sl biology (7), sl math studies (7), sl social and cultural anthropology (6) and hl theatre (6)

everyone has their own method of studying and learning, which is why my method may not necessarily be very useful to every person, but i hope it somewhat helps you guys!

1. don’t lie to yourself

everyone at the start of ib was like “i’m going to delete all my social media! i’ll be at the library and be super productive!”, and sure, you were able to keep that up for a couple of weeks before slipping into “i’ll just download and delete afterwards- i deserve a break” and going back to square one for me, i did delete majority of my social media- i was off instagram and twitter and snapchat, but the two things i never deleted were tumblr and youtube. the reason as to why i kept it was because if i got rid of one thing, i would jump to another, and it would get worse over time, but also because i love everything on tumblr and it’s practically my life instead, i would use selfcontrol whenever i studied or went for classes (except for math studies- i won’t lie i went ham on tumblr during that class). the smart way to use selfcontrol is to set it for a couple hours and use those markers as time for studying. so let’s say i have biology class for an hour, and chinese for another hour before my lunch break, i would set two hours to selfcontrol and it wouldn’t allow me to go on tumblr or buzzfeed or anything until lunch. when i’m studying, i would set it for an hour and a half, and during that time i would study. only after that timer is up would i take a break and do whatever i want to do. so don’t completely cut off social media, but rather restrain yourself from using it during certain periods of time

2. class discussions

for classes like chinese, langlit, anthro and tok, it is super important to participate in class discussions. even if no one starts a discussion, you should start one! your teachers are willing to take on any sort of discussion with relation to the topic, and you’ll realise that you’re more likely to remember things in that class through the things that you’ve discussed in chinese, our teacher would always relate the topics back to what’s happening in our country and our society, and it was because of the heated discussions and bad jokes that we had which helped me to remember the class more

3. questions and consultations

to be very honest, i hate asking questions and emailing my teachers for consultations because i always fear that they’ll find me stupid or annoying, but once you realise that your teachers technically can’t reject your questions or need for consultations, you’ll have no worry about booking consultations even though they beg you to stop seeing them in 2018, i saw my langlit teacher a LOT, so many times that she asked me to stop booking consultations with her so that she can consult other students, but i continued to consult her anyway :^) anyway, when you go for consultations, make sure you have prepared a bunch of questions and material for your teacher so your consultations actually help you instead of just wasting both you and your teacher’s time. for langlit, i always made sure that i wrote at least my introduction and first paragraph as well as a brief outline for the rest of my essay to let my teacher review. i would also show her how i did my annotations for paper 1 and 2 so i would know what i need to look out for and how i should annotate my texts better for biology, i would do a bunch of exam papers, mark them and circle the questions that i didn’t understand what i got wrong, as well as do the essay questions!! so during our consultation sessions, i would pass her all the questions i didn’t understand and she’d explain them to me

4. don’t do notes for the aesthetic

literally don’t. i wasted a year and a half doing my biology notes and it was a complete waste of time as i barely remembered anything. in fact, i was overly reliant on my bio notes to the point where i pushed it aside and just did papers during the last few months before ib notes are good to consolidate and summarise, but don’t spend too much time making notes if it’s not going to help you better understand and memorise content. instead, keep practicing papers and questions and let your teacher look at them

5. cry

it’s okay to cry when you’re stressed- in fact, it releases a lot of the stress and tension building up in you. cry to yourself, cry to a friend, cry to a family member. usually i cry to my friends because they understand what’s up, and if everyone is crying, everyone will get better together and you guys will continue to study as if nothing happened

6. enjoy

you might be thinking “how tf do i enjoy ib” but i really enjoyed it because when i think about ib i think about staying back in school till 10.30pm and cooking food in school and going for karaoke and while it was stressful, i also played hard which made it enjoyable

so that’s all i have to say! do note that throughout my ib journey i was not as wild as my friends- i didn’t go clubbing or drinking or get a boyfriend or anything (partially because i didn’t want to get scolded by my parents for doing so) and while i have nothing against anyone who wants to have a good time, please don’t dedicate a chunk of your time on those things. some of my friends had problems with their s/o which affected their studying and i personally believe that they could’ve done so much better if it weren’t for such circumstances, and yes, i did miss out on the “youth experience”, but now i’m 19 and i’m trying new things to make up for the lack of fun in the past two years and while i do regret not being able to experience so much back then and having to cram it all in now, i also don’t regret being one step closer to my dream- besides, you can always take a gap year to do all the things you’ve always wanted to try before going to university! either way, i hope that what you do makes you happy, and you’ll have friends and classmates who are willing to support you along the way!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #476

“yeah, i am the brain, some say insane”

What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Who was the last person to send you any sort of message on social media? My sister Misty. Would you rather build a snowman or a snow fort? Why? Snowman. I think you can personalize them better. At what age do you believe children should begin having screen time? I don't know. I guess it would depend on the kid. Have you ever failed an important test? Which subject? Yes; I failed my last Algebra final and the course. Who taught you how to ride a bike? How old were you? My dad. Idr how old I was. Do you know what your ring size is? What is it? Nope. When you picture dinosaurs in your head, what color are they? Like a darkish red or green. Last candy you tried that you did not enjoy? Or one that you did enjoy? No clue. Were you a chubby or thin baby? I was your average size. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve considered doing lately? Trying to get a cubicle job. Like seriously, NOBODY wants those. I don't either, but I just don't know what other options I have that don't require a degree and I'm not flocked by other people. I'd probably have some duties on the phone, but like... I'm not going to find a job I qualify for that is perfectly reclusive. Have you ever known somebody who ran away? Not personally, no. Rollercoasters that go upside-down… yes please or no thank you? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Can you have kids? I would assume so, but honestly I wish I physically couldn't with how intensely I fear being raped. Are you a fan of Elton John? I've never really listened to his music and know very little about him as an individual. What does your town’s name begin with? "R." Are you a seafood fan? Nooooo. The one and only seafood I enjoy is shrimp. Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. "Himmel" is "Heaven" in German. Odd how that was the first one to come to me, ha ha. Which city would you like to visit- Rome, Tunis, London, Madrid or Paris? Rome. New tats in your near future? Sadly no. :/ I have to focus on more important things. Did you ever participate in beauty pageants as a child? No. I don't support those. Have you ever ridden in a limousine before? No, but I've always wanted to. :( What's the most amount of money you'd pay for a house or a vehicle? Idk, considering I'm not familiar enough with what is considered reasonable and average for either. What's the longest wait time you'll wait at a restaurant to be seated? If it was actually up to me, shit, maybe only 15 minutes. I am way too impatient, and I'd rather just go to another place than wait for a while. Have you ever been given a responsibility that you couldn't handle? Did you mean: my past three jobs? Did you ever try to start a club as a child? For what? I feel like my friends and I did before... but I remember nothing of it. Who was your favorite babysitter as a child? My sister had this friend in our neighborhood as a kid whose grandparents used to watch us. The grandpa we knew as "Uncle Donny," and he was bar none our favorite. He was such a sweet man. Have you ever cared for a stray animal before? Cats, on many occasions in the past. [TW: SUICIDE/OVERDOSE] Have you ever contacted a suicide or crisis services hotline? For whom? Yeah, for me. I tried first to reach them online in one of those private chatrooms, but I want to say I waited around 30 minutes with nobody available. I was so desperate that I tried calling too, but again, it was too busy. That's when I ODed. Is there anyone from your family that you no longer associate with? I have an uncle by marriage that's an abusive, manipulative fuck that NOBODY associates with, except his brainwashed daughters. Do you have any illnesses that reoccur frequently? I mean, I have mental illnesses that flare up now and again, but no traditional illnesses. What is your sexual orientation? Queer or pansexual, idk man. Have you ever done any drugs harder than marijuana? I've never even done weed. What is one job you would never want to have? I would, no exaggeration, rather die than be a butcher. I could never in five trillion years. Do you bite or peel your string cheese? I don't like string cheese. Who crosses your mind the most? Girt, nowadays. I know, a fucking shocker who wasn't the answer. Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? In school, yeah. Ever been to an auction? No. Are there two colors that you just simply despise? Puke green and yellow. If you were a fish, what colour would you like to be? I wanna be the Rainbow Fish. :') Did your first real significant other change you at all? You have literally no idea. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? No. What’s your favorite football team? I don't like football. Or even understand it. Do you have anything autographed by a celebrity? No. What’s your favorite way to eat peanut butter? Gimme a Reese's and I'm a happy bitch. :^) What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? I'm basic, just hand me a pb&j. How are you today? Worried about my mother since she has Covid now. I'm not feeling too hot, either. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don't own a current calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? Sara Jane. I prefer to refer to her as just my best friend, though; "ex" usually implies negative feelings in some way or form, and I've none of those. Do you use Snapchat? I never have. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? Yum, pancakes. Are you the clubbing type? No. Clubs don't appeal to me at all. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen him in literally years. I wouldn't know. What is unattractive about them? The fact he apparently can't accept a mentally ill partner. Supposedly, he broke up with the girl he dated after me for the same reason he left me: her having depression. Like bro, good fucking luck finding a girl who doesn't struggle with something. Good luck finding someone who's going to be on Cloud 9 all the time. And also, he never communicated what he was feeling. Do you have a crap load of friends to hang out with? God no. The only person I hang out with is my boyfriend. Honeymoon, where? Alaska, if it's a good time of year to see the Northern Lights. If not, maybe the Bahamas to visit their black and pink beaches. The heat and humidity put me off, though... Lipstick over the actual natural lip line, your thoughts? It's capable of being attractive if done well and it's not too extreme, unless you're only looking from a distance. It can look especially great on drag queens imo. How would your wedding bouquet look like? Depends on the time of year, really. I kind of want to say black regardless, but I think that would blend too much with my dress (which I want to be black). Maybe if it was in the fall, which I want, it'd be orange and black to fit the Halloween vibe I'd love to have as a theme, perhaps a rich red, or light pink and white... idk. That's far in the future. What kind of game would you like to play that doesn’t exist yet? Bro, give me a meerkat simulator. There's the Lead the Meerkats Wii game that I ADORE, but I think the concept could be greatly expanded upon and made more realistic. What is one thing you would never ever eat? Balut came to mind very quickly. That looks like the grossest shit imaginable. I'll never forget seeing it for the first time on GMM and wondering how neither of them literally died where they sat lmao. There are a LOT of other foods, too. I'm incredibly picky. Which character in your favorite movie do you hate the most? Every single character from The Lion King is so lovable. Which non-existing (sci-fi and such) weapon and/or vehicle would you like to own/use? Bro, I want Thori'dal from WoW. A bombin' bow with unlimited, magical arrows? That shit's dope. Could save your life, and plus I love bows. How do you think the world will end? Humanity's end will almost certainly be rooted in human action. The end of the planet itself will probably be a black hole, gamma ray, or something else supremely powerful. If you could take a pill that would cure something in you that isn’t an illness - what would you be cured of? The fact I'm fat. :^) Take it all away pls. Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? If so, who? My ex. Do you remember anyone’s number by heart? Literally nobody's. Not even my own. :x Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Hunting. What’s the best place you have ever eaten at? The Cheesecake Factory, omlllll. Are you at home right now? Yep. What’s worse: Crocs or Uggs? Crocs are so fucking ugly to me. Do you knock before you open doors? Always. Does Fred from YouTube annoy you? Now THIS is a throwback. I liked him as a kid. He'd probably annoy the shit out of me now. Anything exciting taking place today? No. Who have you texted today? My mother and Becky, the receptionist at my psychiatrist's office. I rescheduled my appointment to tomorrow with my mom being sick (she wants to talk to him, and she's in no shape to today) and me not feeling well, either. Do you like grapefruits? No. Have you ever had the Reese’s PB candy bars? Omfg, the ones that are a bar of smaller squares is my FAVORITE candy in the world. Where’s your mother? In bed. She was directed to mostly quarantine in her room away from me. Are there any pets you’re wishing for? Always. :( Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I HATE raisins, so guess. Is your belly button pierced? No. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore, no. His content changed a long time ago and doesn't interest me anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" Omg my sister showed it to me once and I hated it. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? uhhh *checks* I have 71. More than I expected, ha ha. What’s the first word that comes to your mind if I say: "Boop!" Booping a snake on the nose. :'3 Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? Nah. I enjoy watching YouTubers play it, and I like the franchise, it's just not my kind of game to actually play. Can you twerk? Oh god, never tried, don't want to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. It looks like you're smelling your armpit, dude. Can money buy you happiness? You are 110% full of shit if you think it can't to some degree. I would be so, so much happier if I wasn't poor. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, considering they're the company that owns World of Warcraft, obviously.

[harry-jones]

Martyn Hun,

I’m not religious, nor particularly spiritual, so I’m not anticipating that you are ever going to read this but it’s been almost 4 weeks since you were taken and I just wanted to put some words down to aid my own healing.

To say a hole has been left would be an understatement. Not just in my own life, but in the world. I won’t insult you with the usual posthumous tribute type of thing but there are a few things I just want to say and reminisce on ‘cause, God, you made things like a trip to the Polish shop down the road for discount fags a trip to never forget.

When I first stumbled across your twitter page I was so envious. HOW is this guy so fucking funny? How does he even have the time to think of all of this utterly hilarious content and shamelessly put it out there knowing just exactly how niche it was? I was, in short, in awe of you. I instantly followed you, secretly hoping that you’d follow me back. You didn’t. Until about 6 months later when I had a sudden influx of Martyn on all of my social media. A Facebook friend request, an Instagram follow, and, the sacred Twitter follow back. Dream. Made. I remember violently texting Iconic Beth and Sophie in capitals about how the iconic guy from Stockport who was obsessed with Corrie had followed me back. And before I knew it, you’d sent me your phone number. I felt like a fucking groupie. Telling my friends about you, they’d simply say “this guy is literally a character. He CAN’T be real.” And it’s true. You seemed to the world like a character. People just couldn’t fathom that someone could fit so much into their life, have so many scandalous stories, so many hilarious anecdotes. But you did. You lived every day like it was your last. You were unashamedly flamboyant and you unapologetically documented everything on your infamous iconic snapchat stories. You had a hold over the entire world (well, except that one Daily Mail reader who called you a media WHORE). And you had a hold over me.

How you managed to, not only live life to the fullest for yourself, but also find the time to spend so much one-on-one time with so many of your friends, listening to their worries and putting them at ease with your infamous Youtube pre-drinks playlist playing softly in the background, is remarkable. On countless occasions you would lift me up with your endless love and words of wisdom. I will take the words you spoke to me at these times to the grave. So thank you for that.

I am so grateful for the memories we shared. When you came to stay with me in Berlin and we got absolutely slaughtered in that Turkish gay bar, meeting the incomparable Michelle McManus after a hilarious weekend in Edinburgh, and my relatives asking you what you got in your A-Levels at my leaving party, to name a few. Even just cuddled up with you falling asleep on the sofa with Anastacia playing in the background is a memory that I will cherish for life.

I regret not having the opportunity to spend more time with you but even through distance, the internet kept us connected and the times that we did get to spend together were, in a word which is  now engrained within me (literally… I got it tattooed), iconic.

You really have taught me a lot and have positively influenced my outlook on life. I stand firmly behind your official posthumous hashtag #BeMoreMartyn. Because you never said no. You were fearless, you were fierce, and you were camp as fuck. And that is how everyone should be living their lives.

I would say some soppy shit like I hope you’re sleeping peacefully now but you and I both know that you’re not sleeping: you’re getting sloshed, revelling in this attention and you’re smoking a fag with Deidre. Iconic.

Love you forever,

Harry Hun xxx

“There were times I felt like giving up, but we came through.” - Michelle McManus

[durararas]

THIS POST WILL BE UPDATED

If some of you have seen a previous post where I mentioned some screenplay ideas that I had and I thank those that responded really positively! So if you don’t know, I want to go into my masters into screenwriting. In comparison with the music training I have, I have almost no official screenwriting training (besides a couple of classes). I know one of the best ways to get better at writing in general is to ask people to read your script. However, since I know everyone is busy (and I’m really bad at asking people because I’m an anxious piece of shit)  I know not everyone is up for this. However, it would help a lot if a couple of people would read it over and tell me if you would watch this on your TV or in the theaters. You don’t have to edit my writing skills (which is much appreciated though!) you just need to tell me if you would watch it or not. And if you would not, what would you do to make it better?

I know I could ask friends, which I will, but one of the best advice I’ve ever heard is ask the general public, people you don’t know very well, and see what they think. So that’s where you come in. I know everyone has different taste in movies and TV so I don’t expect everyone to read everything I have to offer. 

Anyway, if you are interested, either comment here or message me and when the script is done I can send you the draft and you can read it over. So here are the scripts I am working on/would like to finish eventually. (and please signal boost this if you can. you may not be interested but someone out there might!) 

Title: Flowerboy/Format: Short film/Genre: Fantasy, psychological, drama, tragedy/Synopsis: A boy witnesses a tragic death of his brother and will do anything to prevent that from happening, even time traveling. As he spends his whole life traveling back in time to save his brother, flowers start to grow on his body…./Extra notes: One of the main characters is transgender, I envisioned this as a prologue to another main story idea I had where it would be in the POV of the brother that died, I listened to BTS’s Spring Day and I Need U while coming up with this story

Title: King Ferdinand/Format: Feature film/Genre: Coming of age, high school, psychological, horror, thriller/Synopsis: Shy and bookish Ferdinand is a new kid at a high school after being in the hospital for almost a year. He looks forward to his new life at his new high school, but everyone seems to treat him as if he doesn’t exist, even the teachers and staff. He tries to find answers when he learns of the school’s horrible tragedy a year ago…/Extra notes: I wrote this script in high school and will be in the process of being edited and rewritten, the story is set in the 90s

Title: Zoey/Format: Feature film/Genre: Coming of age, drama, music/Synopsis: Two music college freshmen named Zoey end up being roommates. Their names may be the same but they are drastically different. One is an aspiring jazz drummer who wants to prove to her family that she can do more than just tabla drumming (Classical Indian drumming) and the other is a young violin virtuoso who has to deal with the pressure of fame and her relationship with her girlfriend. The movie deals with the two girls’ different but similar lives as well as supporting each other. 

Title: For the Dogs (working title)/Format: TV pilot/Genre: Action, adventure, dystopian/Synopsis: In the future, the world is unsafe to live in due to the acid rain and the “zombie” dogs that roam the earth leaving the entire world into an apocalyptic waste land and civilizations begin to thrive underground. The government uses this world’s advantage to throw their prisoners to the surface to see if they can survive for 30 days for redemption. The main story follows a sweet farm boy named Sky who is wrongly accused for a murder. His world is turned around when he has to face this horrible survival game… Extra notes: honest to god was inspired by togainu no chi 

Title: What’s Riot?! (working title)/Format: TV pilot/Genre: Action, adventure, psychological, comedy-drama, crime, mystery, thriller/Synopsis: A young man wakes up with no memory in an abandoned drug store. The only clue he has is a phone (that may or may not be his) with a social media app that lets people talk about the latest news and chat with each other. He uses the chatroom and its inhabitants to help him figure out his identity. He also learns about the weird users behind the app, an infamous gang that wants to erase themselves from existence, a drug that lets people become a different person (literally??), and a murder where no one can find the body anymore. Extra notes: this story is like my baby I had this idea since i was 13, yes it is very durarara inspired, it was going to be set in Japan but then I realized that it would be impossible right now for the current American film company to make this happen so I changed the setting to a fictional LA town and the characters are now all lots of POC

Title: A City with No People/Format: TV pilot (animated)/Genre: Action, science fiction, comedy-drama/Synopsis: Six kids wake up in a video game inspired city where they realize there is no people except for themselves. They try to solve the city’s puzzles (like a video game) to figure out where they come from and how to get out of it. Most of the time, they just like collecting coins and getting a bunch of shiny stuff/Extra notes: this could be a video game too and I’d love to write for video games

Title: Untitled boyband movie/Format: Feature film (animated)/Genre: Music, drama, found footage, mockumentary/Synopsis: Five regular teenage boys are discovered through YouTube and are made into the most popular boyband in the world. The movie will follow the boys’ journey through their social media like Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube vlogs and interviews made by corporate companies. Some of their more personal footage show their raw emotions behind the whole stress and process of being a famous pop star. All of this fame and pleasing the fans... are they who they are anymore? /Extra notes: There’s so many stories behind how these famous pop stars were keeping their “goody” image and then destroyed themselves as fame goes on (Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, etc) and I really enjoy watching all these vlogs these kpop stars do and wonder if they really are sincere and happy with their lives even though there’s always news discourse saying the fans won’t leave them alone. Also the documentary on Nu’est made me cry

Title: Shattered Looking Glass (working title)/Format: TV pilot or film /Genre: Dark fantasy, horror, fairy-tale, action/Synopsis: The legend goes that dark demons were jealous of the Fairy Royal family ruling over a prosperous kingdom.These same demons had tried to create a mirror for their beloved Fairy King to look into the mirror to see their true self; little did the king know that the mirror posses a “poison” that whoever looks in it sees their worst and becomes their worst selves. The plan was going well until the demons dropped the large mirror and shattered into tiny pieces. These pieces have blown over the kingdom over time and lodge into even the innocent’s heart or eyes, thus only making them see evil. Feared that the Fairy Royal family would find out, the demons took the next heir and kept her in a glass coffin for 100 years. The story follows a gifted mercanary named Wendy who is finally approached by her superior to save the kingdom and find the next Fairy Queen Alice.  /Extra notes: Had this idea for a long time too, I think writing dark fantasy stuff is pretty cool. Btw the mirror idea is something that Frozen could have done!! But nope, too dark for kids.

[afroboydyke]

A VOLTRON PENTATONIX AU?? AKA LANCEYONCE AND CREW

Okay so sit the fuck down everyone I’m documenting this annoying ass dream that has been haunting me for the best few months. 

The Basis: So we all know about Pentatonix, right? (If you don’t, it’s an a capella group that remakes the old songs of famous artists to give them a new sound. They also have a few of their own original pieces). So, basically, imagine the Voltron gang doing this, except not a capella. They remake the tracks and beats to near perfection in order to pull this off.

The group consists of Allura, Pidge, Shay, Hunk, Lance, Keith, and Shiro, with Matt and Coran doing background work. 

Now to the Details.

Lance

Lance is in charge of any and all Beyonce-related performances.

The group itself started with him. He performed to her songs with his own original choreography and everything. Sometimes he would collab with Hunk. 

He picks his own songs

He does nothing half-assed in this group. He’s very nitpicky with lighting and stage set up because he needs to achieve that WOW! factor

Sometimes he goes a little overboard and the team needs to reel him in really quick because they can’t light fireworks on stage

He was disappointed but then he realized glitter and confetti cannons were a much better idea

Because all of Yonce’s songs have a certain feel to him, he chooses based on how his life is going

Happy? Fun? Well-off? TIme to whip out his favorites.

Sad? Had an argument? Where’s his sad stuff at.

Somebody died? Feelings of worhlessnesss? There’s a song for that, too. 

All his outifts are chosen by Shay while Allura does his makeup

These three are besties they do all the styling stuff tgether                

Lance either wears practical shoes or heels there is no in between

Performing in heels is a little harder but he manages because he’s just that good

He was excited to perform “6 Inch” because he had the perfect shoes for that

A lot of the songs he sings are romantic-like so he does a partner dance with Keith

One time the two had gotten into a fight, so he performed the most of the Lemonade album and some of the songs from the 4 album

Keith was in tears and ended up dancing with him again

The crowd went fucking nuts

His favorite songs to perform are probably Partition and any other song with sexual lyrics bc he gets too into it sometimes

Keith loves it but at the same time he blushes really hard

It’s funny to watch

Before a concert he discovers that his uncle died and that hit him hard because they were very close

And yet he still performed but with more passion

And he added the song I Was Here because death is such a sudden thing and he could die any second now just like his uncle did

The others actually played the background instruments for him (cello, piano, ect.)

Lance responds to as many fans as he can on his social media

The boy has Tumblr, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and he’s the main one who runs the group’s Youtube channel

Sometimes he holds Q and A’s on Periscope 

During interviews he answers nearly everything meant for him

He also makes up the names of his fans and it changes every time

“Sup Lancers”

“How’s it shaking, my Bluebells?”

“What questions are in store for me today, Voltribe?”

It’s out of control

Whenever Lance isn’t performing he’s on back up vocals/dancing

That’s the rules: If it isn’t your turn, you work your ass off with back up and background dancing

If he’s feeling a bit peppy he’ll also certain Jason Derulo songs

Hunk

Let’s establish one thing: If Lance is Beyonce than Hunk is Nicki Minaj

It started off as a joke at first, but Hunk found it really fit with how he felt

And his flow is DOPE so win-win

He performs literally every song out there by her with no shame because Nicki Minaj has been his Girl for Years and she gives him confidence

His outfits slay all the time. All. The. Time. 

They’re pretty much renditions of Nicki Minaj’s own performance outfits, but designed to make him feel comfortable

Shay helps him tailor all his outfits and even designs them sometimes

He prefers boots and sneakers when performing because heels kill his feet

His favorite song to perform is the Flawless remix with Lance because they kill everyone within a 20 ft radius

The choreography is his favorite as well

He even installs fire things to shoot flames up from the stage

He also has a really nice voice, but he prefers to rap than sing since he’s better with low notes

Sometimes he collabs with Shay, who’s the group’s other prime rapper

They’re fire onstage and off

Hunk loves Feeling Myself a lot because his confidence rises

So many people find it odd that Nicki Minaj is his persona

Hunk is so kind and timid?? He’s very smart and not one who curses unless very angry or upset

But when he’s rapping he gets all flashy and bold and suddenly he’s cursing all the time very clearly

His moms come to every concert, along with the McClain parents because they love supporting their sons together

Hunk’s moms always jokingly scold him about how provocatively he dresses and his potty mouth but they really don’t care

They smother him in kisses and gifts and flowers 

Once, for their anniversary, Hunk asked Lance to perform “Ring Off” for his moms while he put together a video collage in their honor

The song fits their relationship so well

They cried very hard

When the Moana soundtrack was released, he got his own night to perform the whole thing with his family

He loved the event; it was the first time his whole family had done something together in such a long time

Hunk also helps Pidge and Coran with technical stuff likes lights and smoke affects

At interviews he takes shit from nobody and likes to brag about all the times he’s been right

Spoiler Alert: It’s a lot

He also shares embarrassing stories of the team 

A lot of the gossip actually comes from him tbh

“Spoiler alert: there may or may not be a surprise performance some time soon.”

“A little birdie told me that two of our members are getting a little buddy buddy, so look out for updates on that.”

“Oh, y’all are gonna LOVE my outfit for the next tour. It’s gonna be lit.”

The outfit was, in fact, on fire.

Allura

To complete the Power Trio, Allura is Rihanna

Sorry I don’t make the rules

Except I do lmao

This role originally was gonna go to Shay but then Shay realized she loved to rap so Allura hopped on it

Allura loves Rihanna fashion choices 

A lot of her outfits are based off of RiRi actually

Her favorite album has got to be the ANTI album

It’s a masterpiece 

Just so well written

Best songs ever

The fans love when Allura comes on stage because she provokes so much emotion and her voice carries so well

Not to mention her British accent gives a different feel from Rihanna’s Barbadian one

She has a very diverse cast of fans and probably recieves the most fanmail out of everyone

Lance and Hunk are second

Lance is Bitter

Shay’s third

 Keith, Pidge, and Shiro are tied for fourth

All of her songs are choreographed by herself

Her makeup artist is either Lance or Shay

Depends on who wins the coin toss that day

With Shay her eyeliner is swoopy and sharp with rinestones 

With Lance it’s artsy eye makeup and glitter

Allura likes both

All of her outifts are planned from the the top to the socks she wants to wear

Her hair is so long that it makes styling it very easy?? Like she has so many options

If she doesn’t style it herself than either Shiro or Coran does because they always have great ideas

For every performance, Allura opens with a quote related to what songs she plans to perform

Everyone thinks their from philosophers or something but really she’s quoting tumblr posts

She has the same social media as Lance, and they often compete for followers and such

All of her stuff is very pastel space

The pink marks under her eyes are in fact tattoos

She got them along with Coran for her 18th birthday 

They’re her trademark

Nobody knows if her hair is natural or dyed at first

It’s naturally really bright she just added highlights to it

When not performing, Allura is Lance’s number one backup singer

Sometimes Lance will let her perform Beyonce songs

Specifically Who Runs The World (Girls) bc that’s her actual anthem and Lance feels disrespectful 

And Daddy Lessons, which makes her emotional

Both she and Lance sing Pretty Hurts together because it applies to both of them 

Allura and Lance have a contest for who’s the Better ‘Yonce

Lance wins

Lance and Allura are constantly accused of being siblings due to their bond

It’s a running gag in the fandom for quite sometime until Lance breaks the rumors

Some of her songs involve couple dances with Shiro

It’s amazing watching them interact with one another because they’re so gentle with each other and their love is so Real that it almost seems like you’re intruding on a moment

At interviews, Allura is constantly bragging about how strong she is 

“Hunk and I are clearly the strongest ones here. We haven’t determined who holds reigning title, however.”

The two them proceed to arm wrestle.

It’s a tie

Everyone is crying. Everyone.

Sometimes, if she’s feeling it, she’ll do Marina and the Diamonds

Everyone takes a back seat to her then because she absolutely slays

Pidge

Pidge doesn’t normally sing but when she does it’s Hayley Kiyoko

Pidge loves her 

Very much

She probably dresses the most simple out of them all 

Her main style is shorts with stockings or knee socks and a loose fitting top

She let’s her hair grow out to her shoulders

She appreciates both long and short hair, and finds this a happy medium for her

She sports an undercut and the fans go crazy

Everybody finds Pidge adorable and most girls her age want to be her

Glitter! All over her eyes! Brings out the green!

Is either wearing glasses or contacts but mostly contacts

Pidge’s style is definitely K-Pop Idol

She’s a great dancer and does tons of flips 

Everybody loves throwing her in the air

Pidge is in charge of all music and technology and such. Everything must be run by her  

She adds the best effects to performances and is constantly praised

Pidge has social media too but it’s limited to Twitter and Instagram

Her livestreams are by far the fan favorite

It’s full of her pulling pranks and giving sneak peeks into practices and making bets

“Lmao ten bucks Lance is gonna be tripped by Allura”

He is, in fact, tripped by Allura

“You all owe me at our next concert

She films bloopers for the YouTube page

Most of the bloopers are of her and Keith screaming about aliens and Shiro favoriting her

Sometimes it’s Matt being an idiot

One time she temporarily dyes her hair a pastel green color

She loves it

Keith

Like Pidge, Keith doesn’t sing much. He mainly aids in choreographing performances

He’s been perfecting his dancing for years and has the smoothest rhythm 

When he does perform, Keith’s specialty is P!ATD

He’s emo okay

And Brendon Urie is his first celebrity crush so why not pay tribute to him

Keith gets an undercut with Pidge

It’s not his favorite style so when he grows his hair out again he grows it out long

Longer than originally

Keith’s makeup is limited to eyeliner done by Shiro

His outfits have to be the exact ones in all of Brendon’s videos

“You guys don’t understand if I don’t have the top hat and red suit how can I do “I Write Sins Not Tragedies?”

“Keith, you’re going overboard”-Lance

“You have N O ROOOM TO TALK”

When doing interviews, he also has the KPop Idol look

It drives the fans insane

He secretly loves the attention

He probably has the loudest songs out of everyone but he appreciates it

Everybody loves dancing to his choreography

He doesn’t like social media but still has a Tumblr and Instagram

They aren’t for the group though they’re for his conspiracy theories

Pidge Co-runs the tumblr account and has her own cryptid Insta

His live streams consist of the group cryptid hunting together 

If he does post to the group’s YouTube account it’s for cryptids or a sneek peak of some choreography

Sometimes he lets Lance do his makeup and post it on the channel

He loves to choreograph for Lance specifically because it always somehow involves him

Partition is probs his favorite too for obvious reasons

Shay

Shay’s the universal rapper of the group though she mainly does Drake

Shay just seems like a Drake fan so-

Still she does other rappers since she isn’t very picky

Shay’s outfits mirror Drake as well, though adding her little twist and touches to them

Most of the time Lance and Allura help her with clothes

Her makeup always deals with earth tone or stars there is no in between

She lives for glitter and small jewels

And she’s always wearing a necklace and earrings

Shay’s flow is even better than Hunk’s can you believe it

Hunk can

ANYWAY

Shay loves collaborating with others, specifically Hunk and Allura

She’s very loud and boisterous on stage but off stage she’s kind and quiet

Kinda like that friend who’s very meek in public but wild at parties with close friend

Very passionate about her dream

She’s also in charge of keeping everybody on schedule because nobody follows schedules like she does

Sometimes she’ll do small rituals to ensure good luck for performances

They have yet to fail her

At interviews she’s always really peppy and happy to answer questions

One of the fans asked if  she’s dating Hunk

“Oh no, I’m just a rock he admires very much”

The crowd is confused but the group gets it and starts picking fun

Shay bonds with everybody on the team and it’s great 

She and Matt talk about space for long periods of time on end it’s crazy

With Shiro it’s how pretty Allura is and how much he wants to fling himself into the sun

Also about the other team members

Allura literally politics and makeup and 

Lance it’s Spanish dancing and the ocean

Keith it’s Lance and like random shit

“What if Coran was in a gang”-Keith probably

“Dude,,, we have to investigate”-Shay

Hunk it’s lovey couple stuff and rocks and food and really cool movies

Pidge it’s plans for the next concert

Coran it’s schedules and stories

She loves having such a big and supportive family

Shiro

Bruno Mars. That’s it.

Shiro bops to Bruno Mars like it’s his religion 

Wears rolled up sleeves and jeans with sneakers forever 

His eyeliner is sharper than everyone elses and he takes pride

Fans eat him up

They love his “dad-like” personality

Sometimes some of them bring him cookies and such backstage

He takes them because who passes up free food??

Seems like dad, is actually 12 

Seriously, he causes most of the food fights 

And he’s always making bets with Pidge and Matt

But he’s still responsible when needed

He does his own choreography and everything what a man

Once he did a split in the middle of Uptown Funk and everybody lost their shit

Even the group

They just all started laughing while Shiro continues to strut his shit

Shiro’s snapchat is full of videos of him and the team

Half the time he’s screwing around with Matt

Other half he’s posting death jokes

Nobody is phased by this anymore 

They’re so used to it

“I want a light to fall from the cieling, knocking me out instantly”

“Yeah Shiro we get it you wanna die now help me stretch”

He probably has the most questions asked at interviews

Most of them are “Will you be my daddy”

“…I’m everybody’s dad”

“But only Allura’s daddy”- Lance

“Say your goodbyes to Lance because he done fucked up, kids”

His favorite album is probably 24k Magic bc he feels fly as fuck

Imagine him proposing to Allura with “Marry You”

Everybody knows except for Allura and she literally sobs when he gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring

It’s epic

Pidge once suggested putting a confetti canon in his prosthetic

Although he would like to Allura said no so-

He still does it anyway

Matt

Matt’s a fucking Meme

He handles booking places and unwanted press

And he co-owns the YouTube Channel with Lance

The place is meme central nobody can believe it

He also has a snapchat and Twitter

Live streams happen every week

Most of the time he’s just screwing around the tour bus/ hotel rooms it’s hilarious really

He dresses like a tired college student all the time it’s great

He’s friends with everybody

With Shiro he’s literally goofing off half the time

They rival Hunk and Lance for best bros of the year

Half time time his story is filled with ugly pictures of Shiro

With Allura he’s spreading Shiro gossip and doing her hair

Lance + Matt = Hardcore memes and suffering

Pidge it’s the normal sibling stuff

He once picked Pidge up and threw her

“Y E E T”

Hunk it’s techno stuff and like animals

Keith it’s sharing stories about Shiro and how he’s not from this planet

They plan “experiments” to expose him for the alien he is

They fail

With Coran he helps to clean everything because these people are pigs it’s terrible

And when he’s with Shay they’re literally memeing together but on a lower scale

He helps her withh her style and stuff

When Pidge is on stage he’s handling the lights and shit

One time he got stuck in the lights for the whole concert

When asked where he was, he fell straight into Shiro’s arms

Shiro dropped him

Makes the most jokes

Coran

Team Aunt

Takes the group out for victory dinners

Buys sweaters for everyone

Let’s you do whatever you want as long as it’s legal

Because he’s a retired dancer he’ll step in sometimes and lend a hand

Cooks when Hunk doesn;t

And it’s not bad

But Hunk is just better sorry Coran

The group’s body guard

Literally he dropkicked a loser for eyeing Pidge the wrong way

“Coran was that necessary”

“Not but, as Lance would say, it was dope”

Groan

He also handles press coverage and makes sure all venues check out before Matt goes to book them

Lance is his favorite and it’s insane

Lance: “Hey Coran can I have like fifty dollars?” 

“Of course!!

Allura: “Hey Coran can I borrow 20 dollars”

“Sorry I don’t have any money.”

Will treat everyone to a shoppinf spree every once in a while

Loves everybody like they’re his own and assures parents that they are Okay and In Good hands

Also almost blew up the tour bus and ran like three red lights

Extras

Lance, Shay, and Allura went through a KPop phase

BTS, EXO, GOT7, Red Velvet, MAMAMOO, TWICE, BLACKPINK

They freak out all the time and scream

Meanwhile Keith and Shiro are KPop veterans

“Hah, losers.”

One time they all learned the choreography to “Monster” and posted it to the YouTube channel

Matt sat in the background and screamed random things

Slumber parties all night every night

When they tour they literally get one giant hotel room

Couples each get an hour to themselves throughout the day and then they meet at night to sleep

It’s not even sleeping it’s taking ugly pictures and face masks and nightly rituals and love

They wake up: Shiro, Coran, Shay, Allura, Pidge, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Matt

They go to sleep: Coran, Hunk, Matt, Keith, Lance, Shay, Pidge, Allura, Shiro

Every award they win everyone’s family comes together and they have a very large dinner

The group is called Voltron (how original lmao)

Fans are part of the Voltribe 

I’ll add more if I come up with anything else

[shelbywanders]

where it started

I realize that the chance of people actually reading this and actually caring is slim to none. But nonetheless, I’ll just do it anyway. Why? Because everyone starts somewhere.

I’ve always have had this itch to travel. To experience other cultures, see new places and just go somewhere else. For whatever reason I’ve always found the U.S. to be so boring. Shoot me. Going to California, New York, it just never excited me as much as going abroad. And quite frankly, you can argue about it as much as you want to but America just doesn’t have that much of it’s own culture. Some people see that as good, because we’ve adapted a lot of other cultures and gave it our own swirl and that makes us “hip.” But not me.

And that’s fine. I’ve come to realize after a lot of months feeling like I’m different that it’s fine to have different dreams than other people. That’s what makes us individuals. That’s what makes us special and human. I haven’t reached my dream yet, I haven’t done anything that I want to do that I’ll be talking about. But I’m really close. That’s why I started this blog. To capture every moment from the beginning to the end of my adventure. Some people won’t care. Some people may still think I’m weird. But that’s okay. I can live with that.

See, I believe full-heartedly that I was not born into this world to live paycheck to paycheck and work my ass off 6 days a week making pizzas for people. I don’t want to be on my deathbed and reflect on all of the things I never had the guts to do and die filled with regret. Some people choose to live that way and that’s okay. That’s just not for me. Everyone dies, but not everyone lives. And I am absolutely terrified of becoming the very thing I am scared of. Up until recently, I thought that I was going to just have to get over that though and live like how everyone else is living. Get up, work for 10+ hours, go home, eat some ramen, go to bed and repeat. I never really thought that I could actually go out and do the things I’ve dreamed about doing. Literally, actually dream about. Everyone has their dreams and goals and they’re all completely different from each other. It’s no one’s job to determine if someone’s dreams are realistic enough or good enough. No one has that say except for the person who is trying to achieve them. No one. 

Step one - Seoul

For at least the last 6/7 years I’ve had this crazy desire to go to Korea, specifically Seoul. I still get asked why Korea. Like literally, every other day. In the beginning, I felt like I had to have an answer for it. I mean, people just don’t get up and travel to South Korea for absolute no reason, right? So I would think constantly on what was a good enough reason to give people on why I wanted to go to Seoul. I came up with so many reasons..The food, the people, the culture, the music, the shopping, the nightlife. I finally realized--recently--that I really didn’t need a reason to give people because why? It wasn’t any of their damn business. To be blunt. I had my father told me I wanted to go to Korea because he thought I met a guy online who lived in Seoul. (I wish.) My sister thought it was a phase that I would just grow out of and just forget about it one day. My coworkers just thought I was odd. As much as I tried telling people why I wanted to go, no one believed that I would. No one. It was just too far fetched, too much money, too far away, too unrealistic. My sister even told me to do that as a honeymoon thing, maybe a destination wedding? But what if my husband doesn’t want to go to Korea on his honeymoon? I was told to wait and that I had other things that I could be doing with my life. But why wait when I can do it now?! They told me I had other priorities than planning a vacation to Seoul. And for a while, I believed them. That was the problem.

I just turned 20, I’m a manager and other than not living on my own (and honestly, how uncommon is that really for people my age these days?), I think I have my shit together. Pretty much. Everybody has their bad days, weeks, sometimes months and I surely am not one to judge. I’ve dealt with depression and severe anxiety for most of my life. I’ve let it completely overcome me and I regret letting it get this bad but what’s done is done. The only thing that I can do now to make it better is do what makes me happy and fuck anyone who tries to tell me differently. Very few things make me legitimately happy and some of those things are considered weird by a lot of my peers. I cared for a while, I was actually becoming embarrassed when talking about the things I loved to people because people just didn’t understand. Then I realized that that was fucking stupid, and that no one should feel like they have to hide the things that give them joy and no one should ever feel stupid because they enjoy those things. Ever! And if you put people down just because you don’t find that thing fun or interesting or whatever it may be, you’re an ass. Plain and simple.

Korea used to just be a dream. That was it. I liked the music, I loved the culture, the food was bomb. Asian guys gave me butterflies in my stomach, and I picked up the language crazy well and I’m very proud of that. I never thought that I would ever actually go to Seoul. That was until I started making my own money, and opened up a savings account and seeing that well shit, I could actually do it. If I really wanted it. I could do it. I started tossing around the idea to my mom first in the beginning, because I knew people would find it a little odd and I honestly just needed to know if I was dreaming too big. As I started talking to her about it, a really great thing happened and that was she wanted me to do it too. Do it while you’re young, and you aren’t drowning in bills and living paycheck to paycheck. Do it while you can, if you can. And I knew I could. So I texted my best friend of 8 years now who has the same passion to travel like I do to see if he’d wanna catch a flight to Seoul. And he said yes.

It’s been a little over a year now since I first started to save up for my trip. We’re getting our plane tickets in April and we’ll be heading to Seoul in October of this year. Even though I don’t have the ticket yet, and even though it’s not set in stone, I still know that we’re going to go. There’s no stopping us. I’ve already started getting stuff for the trip, like it’s legit. And the really stupid part is, the closer and closer we get to going, the more and more I see people getting mad. Why? I’ll leave that up to you to decide. I think in the beginning when I first started having the idea, people didn’t really think that I would do it. Then it started to become something I was always thinking about because of how excited I was and then people started to think it was just some weird obsession and a phase. Now, people keep telling me that I have other priorities in which I should be doing rather than going on this trip. It feels like the only two people who are actually excited for me is my best friend and myself. And for a while, I hated that. It bothered me. Now, I don’t care. This is something I have always wanted to do, Korea has been part of my life for a while now and the fact that I am months away from going and experiencing it myself rather than watching tons and tons of videos on Youtube makes me crazy excited. I’m literally doing something that everyone told me I would NEVER do and that is so exhilarating.

It’s like na na na na boo boo, look what I can do and you can’t stop me.

So what’s the point in this post? Two things. First is I started this blog because I want people to see my journey. I’m going to be posting lots more content and things like what I’m doing to prepare for my trip, what I’m packing, how I study Korean on my own, and how you can too! And so much more. And then when October finally comes, I’ll be posting the entire trip pretty much. Here on my blog, and I’ll also be vlogging on my Youtube channel which is simply just shelby wanders. This is just step one. There’s a lot of other countries and cities I want to visit and I want to capture my best moments through writing and photos/videos. Seoul is just the first and most anticipated stop for me, but it most certainly won’t be the last.

Second thing is I want people who have had close to zero support like me to go out and achieve their dreams to know that you are not alone! You can do absolutely anything your mind can think of. And it doesn’t matter how “weird” or “far fetched” or “unrealistic” it is. Unrealistic dreams don’t exist. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re dreaming too big because like I said in the beginning it’s none of their business. And if people can’t support you, then you don’t need them. I’m living proof that it doesn’t matter if other people think you can do something. The only thing that matters is your dedication and you going out and actually doing it. So don’t give up. I refuse to.

If you want to stay tuned to my adventure, you can find me all over social media. I’ll accept any questions, any advice, about anything! If you need a friend, an ear or a shoulder to cry on please do not hesitate. I’m crazy excited to start writing about everything and recording and I really hope I can spark something inside other people to. I guarantee that you were not born to just go to school and work. You are supposed to do so much more. Don’t ever feel like you can’t.

Instagram - goshelby

Youtube - shelbywanders

Twitter - shelbywanders

Snapchat - go_shelby

- xoxo, shelby -

[njawaidofficial]

17 Times The Kardashians Dropped Hints About Kylie's Pregnancy And Had Us All Stressed

https://styleveryday.com/2018/02/05/17-times-the-kardashians-dropped-hints-about-kylies-pregnancy-and-had-us-all-stressed/

17 Times The Kardashians Dropped Hints About Kylie's Pregnancy And Had Us All Stressed

From rumours and reveals, to conspiracy theories and Christmas cards.

If you’ve been asleep for the last 12 hours or so, you might’ve missed some really important news, so let me be the one to break it to you – KYLIE JENNER HAS FINALLY HAD HER BABY!!!!

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Yep, after a pretty wild and intense ride that lasted from September through to February, we finally got confirmation from Kylie herself that not only was she pregnant, she’s also already given birth.

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So since we’ve all been put through so much stress (because we all found it impossible to mind our own business), let’s take a look back at every little tease and hint that the Kardashians dropped right under our noses.

E!

Naturally, kommander of the Kardashian ship, Kris Jenner, was the first to say anything about the news, but it wasn’t exactly a confirmation. In fact it basically threw us off the scent a little when she said, “I think it’s kind of wild that everyone is just assuming that that’s just happening.”

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And although Kim was out on Twitter correcting stories that said she was jealous of Kylie basically stealing her thunder since she was also expecting a child, she only denied the story and not Kylie’s pregnancy.

At this point in the game, Kylie had stayed silent on the news which, spoiler alert, was something of a recurring theme. But she had everybody freakin’ the fuck out when she then captioned a Snapchat with “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby”.

Yes, this was a lyric, but a pretty goddamn ironic one looking back at it, don’t ya think?

Kylie Jenner / Via Snapchat

She also uploaded this picture with BFF Jordyn Woods to celebrate her birthday, featuring a flash of her stomach. It’s almost like she knew we’d all just figured out she was pregnant or something.

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Anyway, back to Kris Jenner, who was basically the queen of teasing the news. She did another interview in which she spoke about Kylie and Khloé, who was also revealed to be pregnant. Speaking about Kylie, she said that she was proud of Kylie’s “strength” when it came to dealing with “everything she has going on”.

BUT WHAT DID SHE HAVE GOING ON, HUH, KRIS???? JUST SAY IT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Entertainment Tonight

Kris continued to confirm the news by not confirming the news when Ryan Seacrest texted her live on air asking about the rumours. Her reply?

I mean, if you weren’t pregnant surely you’d be quick to deny it. Or am I just being silly?

ABC / Via youtube.com

Kylie and Khloé both seemed to tease their pregnancies with a YouTube video uploaded to Kylie’s channel, where they had this interaction about having “so many babies” now.

OK, they were apparently talking about makeup, but at this point they both knew that they were pregnant, so it’s like they were dropping hints right under our noses.

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While filming the KUWTK Christmas special, Kris uploaded a family picture to Instagram…except Kylie was nowhere to be seen. I WONDER WHY!

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Exhibit B of family snaps being uploaded while Kylie had seemingly vanished off the face of the Earth came from Kris’s Christmas Eve party, with Kourtney uploading this picture with a teasing caption.

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But in November we hit a real bump in the road that nearly threw us off course when Kylie posted a full-body picture of both her and Khloé, who at this point also hadn’t confirmed her pregnancy, and there were no baby bumps in sight.

OK so baggy clothing and poses could’ve covered them up, but still this had everybody like, “Hold tf up, what’s happening here?!”

Kylie Jenner / Via Snapchat

Kris Jenner really rocked the boat on Instagram when she uploaded this picture about receiving pyjamas for her grandchildren.

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It doesn’t seem like much to get excited over, but if you look carefully enough you can see that there are nine pairs of pyjamas, which was funny because at the time Kris had only six grandchildren, meaning Kim, Khloé, and Kylie’s unborn children accounted for the other three pairs.

OOOOOH KRIS WE’VE RUMBLED YOU NOW.

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So with Christmas well and truly ruined, we trudged into January, which wasn’t eventful at all. Except for that moment on KUWTK when Kylie called Kris to let her know that her assistant was trying to take sneaky photos of her.

E!

This was a real tease because key information was purposefully left out, like why Kris wanted to have the woman arrested just for taking pictures.

So yeah, it was an invasion of privacy, but surely getting the police involved was slightly dramatic unless there was something you wanted to hide that you weren’t telling us, huh.

E!

With Khloé giving us a glimmer of joy by finally announcing that she was indeed pregnant, she made an appearance on The Ellen Show and instead of beating around the bush, Queen DeGeneres basically asked, “Yo, is Kylie pregnant?”

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But Khloé wasn’t here to drop her sister in it, and instead acted like she hadn’t read BuzzFeed dot com the website, or any other media site reporting Kylie’s pregnancy.

NBC

The Calvin Klein ad was one of the final teases we received before the announcement.

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Because in every single goddamn shot, Kylie’s stomach is covered by something, whether it be a prop, clothing, or even Khloé Kardashian.

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And finally, Kylie teased us all with the news of her pregnancy…by literally doing nothing at all. Her social media accounts, which she’s known for using extensively, basically went dormant except for promotional uses, and she basically disappeared from public view, with nobody really catching sight of her when the news broke.

Instagram: @kyliejenner

But now we’re through the stressful times and Kylie’s welcomed her baby. Now we just have to wait to find out what she’ll be called.

E!

[lemonela]

The Pros & Cons of Instagram/Taking A Break From Social Media

More than two weeks ago, I decided to take a break from social media. I deleted my Instagram and Facebook app (but kept Snapchat, because I care too much about snap streaks). I'll be sharing the pros & cons of Instagram and explaining part of why I made this decision. I've also filmed a YouTube video about this article, so if you'd rather not read, then you can check it out at the bottom of this page! 

PROS

Sharing Awesome Stuff to Radiate Awesomeness is Awesome

Over the past few months, my presence on Instagram has been receiving more attention, particularly from social media accounts about female empowerment and starting your own business, which I love! I'd like to give a shout out to the Yes Supply Collective, in particular, which I've joined last month. Such a great group of hard-working women.

Since more similar accounts to mine have been following me, my Instagram app has been going through a shift from personal to business account. Right now, it's half and half, where I still follow friends and people I know, but I'm trying to make it a safe and positive place for me to be if and when I do decide to go on the app. By this, I mean that I've been following a lot more accounts centered around my personal interests whether that's travel, food, or personal empowerment. 

You're Free to Be Creative and Experiment

On Instagram, you have all the choice to make it however you want. You can add white borders to your photos to creative a more minimalistic feed, or heck, you can post what ever photos you want and not give a damn about having a nice looking feed! This may be more difficult to do when you're trying to build a brand for yourself, since potential followers are probably judging the look of your feed, but nevertheless, it's really up to you if you want to change it up.

CONS

Instagram Is Not A Self-Esteem Booster

This ties in to why I decided to take a break from social media. When you're at your lowest of the low, Instagram can trigger feelings of loneliness, neglect, and even ugliness. Why loneliness and neglect? My self-esteem was at such a low point that I became dependent to what I was seeing on social media.

My friends are out without me? Why was I not invited? Do they even like me? Why don't they like me? What's wrong with me?

How does it trigger feelings of ugliness? Well, it's Instagram; a platform filled with Instagram models, shown likes, and comments on photos. I don't even follow Instagram models, but they show up on my suggestion feed and the comparison game begins as I slowly start to feel worse about myself. It's terrible, yet we do it anyway. 

It's A Waste of Time

One sec, my mind is shifting from 19-year-old to 60-year-old. I hope you didn't roll your eyes at this statement, because coming from someone who has been on the app since I was around 14-years-old without taking a break (except when I was waiting to get a new phone), taking time off has given me more time to not only focus on more activities I love, but it's also nice to not care about what everyone else is doing for a hot minute. 

Over the course of two weeks, I went to the library to do research on subjects I was interested in and literally checked out 20 books. I also voted for the first time, went to see Connor Franta with my friend Will, started a new job, started watching The Get Down and Dear White People (*I finished it*) on Netflix, etc. It's been quite wonderful without Instagram. My life is still the same, I'm still keeping myself busy as always, but I'm just not telling everyone about it, which actually made me feel a lot better in the end. I want to leave you with a final message:

Your life is more than highlights

From my time off, I honestly feel like a changed woman. I used to think that I was nothing without my blog and my 'online platform' because I share a lot on the internet. It can really leave you feeling empty. For a while, I've been going over more times than usual of what I decide to share online. I even thought that people didn't even have to talk to me because they probably could find out about my life online (which actually creeps me out). 

Without your online platform, you're still you. You're still who you decide to be every day. Perhaps even better, because the you offline is more than a bunch of words and photos. 

Social media is nice in a way where you can share your joy and moments to the world, but not everyone needs to know and sometimes, it's better to keep things to yourself. Not posting a photo of your mom on Mother's Day, or anything really, does not invalidate your feelings towards a moment or a person in your life. Why? Because it's/they're precious to you. You know that and that should always be enough.