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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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rough day...

#i might come back and color this. Eventually....#scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around #i felt a bit like a workhorse!#at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage #poor guy deserves a break...#he needs a day off smh #i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation!#he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once!#scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #eddie dear #alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep!#so! queuing this and getting those last chores done #wait fuck. what where they #well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably!#yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here]#oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up #so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list....#im rambling! sorry!#anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!

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buglaur · 1 year

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#hellooooo it's been a long week for sure #got my exam results. did a lot better than i thought i'd do!!!#also had an interview for a place in a community college which i got #but i hopefully got into uni (i'll find out 2pm tmrw) so i mightn't need it!!!#i'm so scared man i'm used to class sizes of like.. 8 😭#and now i've gotta get 4 buses a day to the city and back instead of a 20 min stroll up the road 😔#did a pub crawl saturday to celebrate. had a lot of fun #been having fun with bg3 too!! i'm still on act 1 #my ear is blocked again 😔 it's €60 to get it drained ughhh i'll just suffer on #getting my first tattoo soon though 🥳#enough about me lol i need to make a personal sideblog one of these days #i'll def have a lot less time to be active with sims stuff if i'm starting uni so i'll be sure to make one ^^#ANYWAYS here's ms macmahon #/roxana #i swear to god i'm going to catch up with all the new kmik posts when i wake up tomorrow #if i don't assume me dead #ts4

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 3 months

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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything #i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by #while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi #i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real #problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about #and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real #or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason #i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place #because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk #negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual #i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed #a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO #i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait #and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life #like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it #just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy #i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy #and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation #because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life #anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is #to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck

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pushing500 · 1 year

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Shockingly enough, Candlelight won this fight. My little Water caste T'au is getting better at melee, it seems. Maybe all those "practice" fights with Laurie have paid off. Candlelight left this fight with two bruises on her torso, and Andrei had two broken bones in his right leg and a broken left arm.

What if we pushed our Rimworld beds together?

Jk, jk!

...

Unless...?

I know they all sleep in their clothes in-game, but that seems so uncomfortable. I'm going to just keep drawing everyone in pyjamas.

Look, I don't like Wookshys, but I can appreciate a man who takes time out of his important chores (spending all day fishing) to remind his secret girlfriend that she is loved and very smoochable. As much as I hate to admit it, I think Albina is in good hands.

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dawnthefluffyduck · 10 months

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Happy 1st anniversary to Looking Glasses by @ferronickel :) (edit; whoops forgot to remove the space in the tag, sorry i know you've already seen it haha)

#super exciting day :D #every single page in looking glasses is a work of art #if i'm remembering the order of events right #i found about looking glasses bc you visited my blog around the time i first started posting #and i freaked out and was super happy so i checked yours out too #and lo and behold there was a gem of a comic to be found there #thanks for the support you've given me with my art since then :) best wishes for the rest of looking glasses!#also #christ on a stick how the hell do you handle all of those dark fountain swirlies #i always thought they were cool as hell but i have a newfound appreciation for them now that i've tried it myself #this is a bit messy but i didn't wanna overwork it #i'm still learning digital painting so i was guessing my whole way through this haha #was very fun to draw ^-^#couldnt decide what exactly i wanted to draw for this so i drew ralsei in one of my favorite scenes #ralsei #deltarune #looking glasses #first time I've used the queue feature #got it set for 10:30 when I normally wake up so it better work or I'll gut tumblr and sell its entrails in a flea market #update; it did not in fact work #rip tumblr

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koka-mi · 7 days

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guess who's writing kyosaya fanfiction at 1am even though they have a dentist appointment hella early in the morning??? NOT ME! (it's me)

#I KNOW I should go to sleep #and I know the fic will be there when I wake up and get back from the dentist but aagghhh #my brain wants it done now #idk how to explain!!!#probably bcz I know I'll have to do school tomorrow :'D #and won't have as much time as I'd like to work on it #I WILL try to sleep though!#bcz I've been working on it for about 3 hours now so I should.close google docs.......aaaaaaaaaaaaaa #kokarambles

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miyamoratsumuu · 2 months

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I woke up at 3am again and I'm not able to get back to sleep for the life of me 🙏🏼 SO!!! I have a proposal in mind hihi

how would we feel about an mha actor!au smau?? 🙋🏻‍♀️

"being a romance movie director meant you knew all about the clichés, plot twists, and narratives that could happen in them. you knew how to handle and execute them in films, so why were you clueless on what to do when anonymous love letters were constantly scattered around set and addressed to you?"

and yk all the stuff about "actor x actor relationships are a pain to manage by their pr teams, but what if it was an actor x director relationship?" OK???

if ever I do this, I think it'd be clear who the character I do this with will be hihi

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keeps-ache · 17 days

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i think i tapped on the explore page by accident some minutes ago, i've been scrolling for a good sec like 'why is this on my dash. i don't know any of these people. what's going on' lmfsvh

#just me hi #i was really scrolling like 'man i do i need to start unfollowing people' before i Realized something was Wrong hkdjvhgv #idek how i did that. for a moment i was in a poor (quality) alternate dimension hkfkshvj #//anywho 'm gonna be going to bed in a bit :)#12 is about the time i should go to sleep... but also i've been doing pretty well going to sleep late n waking up at pretty reasonable hour #turns out when i'm much better at managing my own sleep times than i thought! whodda thought after all this time hbfhsh #//mnmnm also i'm getting back into actually enjoying writing lol :33 #took me a sec bc oooh has it been fooooreeeever bfsh !! but yea i'm figuring out how to like it again :>>#i had what i believe to be a reasonable amount of description for a scene(in hindsight anyway lmfsh) and was like 'ohh but is this annoying #and then the thought of 'oh wait. i'm writing for me and one other guy (also me)'#so it haaaas been pleasant :33 #i'm trying to practice my pacing n stuff... my punctuation has gotten a bit rusty too so that as well :)#//oh i haven't worked on my background stuff...#year's almost done and i think i've done 1 full background i think. that's a bit crazy hkfshv #gotta make up for that !! it's gonna suck prolly but i'm gonna do it >:3 #mmmmmmmmmmmmm yea i'll do that after the yellow piece tomorrow :>#i've already got some of the guidelines for that down so ~!!~#//ouh the tea Got Me #going to poof now.. tooodles .w./

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buglaur · 1 year

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i'm making a character page

#i just want something where you can click the sim and it shows a link to their gameplay and character tag #and i'll make everyone a pinterest board too #the macmahons aren't here yet because i have a dilemma #do i put them all as young adults #or as their most recognisable era #like elder gael and teen rox #or just all as young adults #someone make this decision for me i can't do it #need to make a new pose for virgil i don't like this one #and tweak sawyers a bit #also need to change someone's pants. they can't all wear jeans 😭#this is queued i'm gonna try and code it today when i wake up :)#daithí so small....

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everypanelofizuku · 2 months

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Chapter 59 - Listen Up!! A Tale from the Past

#boku no hero academia #deku #izuku midoriya #bnha #my hero academia #ochaco uraraka #woke up from a nap to the queue empty and thought OH GOD HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN EMPTY #just to see the last post went out 2 seconds ago #so i hastily cropped one (1) panel before i started doing the entire chapter like i usually do kdsjdfksh #and this friends is why you don't tell yourself ''oohhh i'll be out for ten minutes max and then when i wake up i can edit panels :)''#that's the devil talking!! you'll be out for four hours!!!

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yorshie · 10 months

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Pea Brained Bounce House time. Was thinking about the earlier Mikey bit. Then I started thinking about Warm Coded. And then:

Raph’s got like. This thing, when you’re working out with him. He uses the cover of coaching you to stare.

It’s not until he’s got you doing chairs against the concrete wall, and you look up in pleading askance on how much longer you’ve gotta hold the position, that you finally catch the way his attention is trained on the swell of your stomach. The uncanny focus of his gaze on your thighs as the muscles start to tremble and seize up.

Raph likes to stare.

#……. hm. is this gonna be a blood orange fic?#are they gonna converge?#looks at the blurple fic I’m already planning. fuck. this might be a blood orange fic #but how would that even work?#Mikey is so much harder to set a boundary with than Leo and Donnie #and what about my head canon of Mikey sneaking into Raph’s bed during nightmares?#I could just see. raph wakes up and readers all against him all warm and cuddly #he goes for the sleepy morning action #but his hand knocks against Mikey’s shell and there’s like the awful dawning realization that his little bro is cock blocking him #cue Mikey waking up cuz you smell all warm and he wants action too #only for the same realization to have th both going >:[ at each other #raph gets up like fuck this I’ll be a good boyfriend I’ll go get breakfast. you want pastries doll? I'll get you fucking pastries #and Mikey’s like fuck that I’ll be a better boyfriend I’m gonna go make homemade juice #and then reader is like. wtf where are my cuddly buddies? Why is everyone so pissy this fine morning?#<- zero clue they are in the middle of a pissing contest #goes to take a morning shower and gets interrupted cuz Mikey doubles back #youngest sibling gotta take advantage of the older one being out and all that #I could just see him all annoyed halfway to the Kitchen before going *wtf am I doing* and backtracking to corner reader in the bathroom #raph drags reader back in his room and closes the door in mikey's face when he gets back with pastries #cuz personal space (nest) privileges and it was cold outside and damn it he's was a good boyfriend he deserves cuddle time #also he didn't get mikey any pastries #proceeds to show reader there's more than one way to enjoy a pastry #……… have to think about this one actually plot poly is hard #raccoon rambles

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purgemarchlockdown · 7 months

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Hm...

#not to be really clearly be someone with Issues on the murder prison sideblog but I've never been this deep in a community before #I always sort of rest on the sides #I still do to some extent really #so I'm just kinda waiting to be attacked #if that makes sense?#like #I feel like a fraud who's tricking people into believing that im not a fraud #and once people find out im actually a stupid horrible person I'll be chased out into the woods #...god is this why I keep on getting Kazui in those quizzes?#but like- you guys have stuck around for this much of my ramblings but how much more? When do I Start being annoying and pretentious?#has it already started and I just havent realized?#in three months will I wake up to a callout post for something I never realized was a problem?#I dont know...#vent

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yukipri · 1 year

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I feel like over the month+, I have like 1-2 hours a day max where I feel relatively awake, and every other hour I'm fighting bone-deep exhaustion. I'll bring it up with my doc at my check up on monday, but tbh i know the solution so idk if she can help

And I can work-work when I feel half-dead, or rather I force myself to because I don't want my cats to starve, but when it comes to creative stuff, it's like my mind is slippery sludge dribbling out my eyes...

The Solution, of course: just stop working 3~10 AM every day (and then taking a short nap, working during the day, and then taking another short nap, hours vary but repeat), and maybe get at least 6, ideally 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep at least every other day, ideally every day.

But do I see that happening? No.

Like rn I know I desperately need to edit fic and reply to comments and do several arts but I'm nodding off at my desk after boss DMing me work at 5 AM and dealing with repair people since 8:30 AM...

#YukiPri rambles #yeah the next fic chapter is long done #i just need to edit and reply to comments but that's like #5 hours at least of concentration and i feel more vegetable than sentient human #coffee just makes me sleepier #my hyper irregular sleep hours (i never sleep the same hours 2 days in a row...) means that even when i DO have time to sleep #i wake up/it's not restful #i've tried melatonin and sometimes it works but more often it gives me hyper vivid pseudo-dreams #stuff like i'm in my dream i hear my alarm go off i turn my alarm off while remaining in my dream etc it's dangerous #all of this also of course means i rarely have time to do my minimal exercise of a daily walk #and i'm lucky if i eat one full meal a day #it's like being in a perpetual state of awful jetlag #i feel like my body is not synched to earth and it sucks #do you think this is what inter-planetary jetlag is like bc that must suck worse than just timezones on the same planet #that at least has a consistent rotation u feel #hmm what was this post about again #lol disaster #anyway i think i'll take a 1-2 hour nap now so maybe i can do some fic editing when i get up #see i'm repeating the cycle again

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bueris · 4 months

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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere #i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art #but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely #certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like #university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government #i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour #party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead #also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be #idk #it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking #also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most #part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still #i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going #the way i wanna #I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life #if not then gap year to work it out #should probably look at unis for english language too then #sigh #ucas website i may as well marry you #ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up #yeah #shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical #they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices #crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that #why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine #bue waffling #vent post

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heyitslapis · 4 months

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i think transfem Denji would look almost exactly the same but would have bad bitch winged eyeliner and wear a choker with a heart ring

#butch dyke denji supremacy #she wears the choker under her work shirt so like no one can see it but thats ok bc she wears it for her #maybe she'd paint her nails too. up to her if she feels like it #im going to sleeb bUT when i wake up i'll do a quick doodle or edit we'll see #denji #csm #emma rambles

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meownotgood · 4 months

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good morning... I woke up very sick 😭

#uuggghhhhh #I've been working so much and this is my first weekend off in a few weeks #and I was like I'm totally gonna play video games finally and do lots of stuff #and then I wake up today just feeling like death #my baldurs gate time.... I need my baldurs gate time............#I took some medicine and it helped a bit but my throat is still so sore it hurts to talk #I'll probably spend the weekend sleeping 😔#but I just wanted to say thank you for all the support on my fic #I'll respond to comments and asks when I'm able! 🫂

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