#so all of those are really shit arguments

[azulock]

I will raise you, poly!Nagireo where neither is used to sharing (Reo having always been given what he wanted all for himself due to being an only child and Nagi having been alone and all) and they stumble a little, trying to figure it out, until finally they get the hang of it, Nagi being chill as a counterpart to Reo's being passionate and fiery.

Anon, this is the polycule from hell, you are aware right? But lets go, I'm the world's most honest genie and your wish is my command

Reo x reader x Nagi polycule

⊙ Taking "why not both?" literally is def not as easy as it may seem. Esp when the both in case are those two idiots. Neither are very domesticated when it comes to relationships, they do really need to be broken in

⊙ Reo stands on the more anxious attachment extreme of this line, terrified of not being choose to an obsessive degree, it's easy to see him getting jealous, he can't really hide it

⊙ Nagi lives on the opposite extreme, being the more detached, distant type. He is just as annoyed at the chance of not being choose, but less so out of some deep fear and anxiety

⊙ Jealousy is a big hurdle in the relationship for both sides, but it's even worse because both of those guys display it differently and need different approaches

⊙Reo is clear as day about being jealous, he will try to hide it but he really can't. The signs are all there, and at the least bit of pressing he will straight up say what he feels. It makes it easier to deal with him, and all that anxiety ends up making him more on board to finding a solution. It takes a lot of reassurance and gentle words, but he probably comes around it before Nagi does.

⊙ Nagi is not at all good with feelings, and his reaction to getting jealous is to withdraw, get distant and pretend nothing is bothering him at the same time. It takes time, a firm hand - maybe even some rough words - and a shit load of patience but eventually you get him to admit what he feels, and only after some more hard world do you get him to accept it at the end. It's a lot but it works out, so it was worth it.

⊙ Honestly, in this relationship it's easier to do thing with the both of them or to do it alone, because if you choose just one, the other will most likely get upset, at least in the beginning

⊙ At those earlier stages if you leave to do something with Reo when Nagi just wants to stay home, Nagi gets upset. But if you stay home when Reo wants to go out, then Reo gets upset, it's very much a balancing act

⊙ This uncomfortable situation goes on for a little, even breaking into a few arguments, which brings everyone back to stage one again. After a while tho it settles down, and they start to adjust to the situation

⊙ Usually Reo is the one remembering important dates, proposing to go out and do something, getting excited to plan vacations together and stuff, while Nagi is the person for when you want to just stay home, order some food and play videogames. And once they settle down they start accepting that you can choose one or the other and yall don't need to be doing things all three together at all times

[max1461]

I don't really intuitively give a shit about fairness. I think this is one of those "maximally allistic" traits of mine. Like, abstractly I recognize that fairness often matters, I'm not mounting an argument against fairness here. But I think frankly that my life is way easier for the fact that I don't get bothered by being "treated unfairly", like, I get bothered if I'm treated in a way that fails to meet my standards, and I feel good if I'm treated in a way that does meet my standards. But if you treat me like, ok enough, and another person really really great, 99% of the time I'm just gonna be like "ok cool you like that person more than me". Uh I really even when I type that it sounds dissatisfied. No like. Unless I have the sort of relationship with you were favoritism towards me is part of the deal (e.g. a romantic partner), if you show favoritism towards someone else it doesn't phase me at all. Like. I care about getting my desired share, not my fair share. You see?

I try to be fair towards others, because that is important to them. I don't like upsetting people. But when I was a kid I hadn't figured all this out yet, and sometimes it made people really mad. I remember often getting into arguments with adults where like, I would drop something, and they would tell me to pick it up, and I would be like "oh no I don't mind it being on the floor". And they would be like "well I mind it being on the floor" and I would be like "well then you should pick it up". I really wasn't trying to be passive aggressive this just seemed completely reasonable to me. Like... if I had some inscrutable preference to move something from one place to another, I wouldn't ask someone else to move it up for me, I would just do it myself. But if I drop it, and you want it moved off the floor, I should be the one to do that for you because I dropped it? It didn't make much sense to me. But people got mad, and they said "that's not fair!", and so I conceded.

To be honest I still have the reverse version of this mentality. Like whenever I've lived with people who have different cleanliness standards from me, I haven't really expected that they like, increase their cleanliness to match mine, or meet mine in the middle or whatever. I've just cleaned more, because I'm the one who wants things more clean. That makes sense to me. I don't know why I would expect them to live differently in order to meet my standards, that seems rather presumptuous.

Anyway, fairness is kind of a foreign concept to me. But non-imposition is a native concept, I don't like to bother people, so I generally try to act fair so as not to bother people. But it's fake, I don't really believe in it.

[nknoxe-n]

・❥・Heliotrope and Orange Lilies

Synopsis: Having an argument with their s/o, who started it, what do they do to earn forgiveness or need for them to forgive you?

Warnings: [mental health] [slight toxic behaviour] [pre established relationship]

w.c 1k

You started it:

Isagi Yoichi: He is a very dedicated man, green flag all over, but everyone makes mistakes, and Isagi's biggest flaw is that he gets way too distracted by soccer. When a big match is coming up, he will start neglecting his partner more so he can focus on getting better and winning. This will lead you to an argument 9/10, but he's been working on it, but he just can't help but forget about his life when soccer is so important to him. When Isagi knows he's hurt your feelings by becoming distant he tries to make up for it in quality time, you have his full attention all day, all week even. He's taking every second he can to be spending time with you to make it up to you.

Itoshi Rin: He has emotional relapses, ig that's what you'd call it? Sometimes he gets so caught up in his head and way of thinking he'll convince himself that he isn't good enough for you and that you're going to leave him like his brother did so to save himself the hurt he'll distance himself from you, nothing like Isagi does, Rin will actively avoid you, won't text you back or even talk to you for weeks if he can help it. This of course results in an argument, and he will struggle hard to make it up to you, he's still pretty convinced he isn't enough, but he'll try and have a heart-to-heart with you and spend time with you to get your forgiveness.

Kuniami Rensuke: He used to be so loving and kind, he really was the perfect boyfriend but after the Blue Lock program something about him changed, he didn't really seem to care about as much as he used to, he also oddly enough wasn't very keen on receiving affection gestures anymore, physical or verbal. When you tried to ask him about it one time he brushed you off and of course you can't leave things at that so you keep pushing for an answer, and he snaps at you, and you do not let that shit slide, which turns into one of the first arguments you've ever had with him. When realizing he was in the wrong he tries to make it up to you by going out for a very simplistic date, something you two used to always do, and he tries to communicate with you about how he feels, although he's not very good about it, he's trying his best.

Nagi Seishiro: He was lazy, when Reo wasn't around to do it for him, it was like you were his personal maid, he asked you to make food for him, clean his room sometimes and honestly Reo was your god send taking up quite a few of those tasks you had to do without any sort of appreciation. There was a point where you couldn't take it anymore and lashed out at him, you weren't just a friend, or a hired service, you were his partner and deserved to be treating like it. He really, really struggles to make things good between you two, he doesn't understand fully how you feel since he's always felt kind of emotionally distant, but he tries making an effort to do things for himself more often and give a lot more verbal affection, he even tried taking up one of your hobbies but messed up so badly he never told you he even tried.

He started it:

Shidou Ryusei: He is brash, erratic, and he does things on a whim not taking to account for your feelings very often, most things are very 'casual' to him between the two of you. We've all seen he's quick to anger, so in one scenario where he's been trying to drag you along to do god knows what, and you keep being stubborn saying you have plans? He kinda freaks out in an, albeit short, burst of anger, he feels like you don't want to be around him and to earn his forgiveness you MUST take time off of whatever you do to spend a whole day with him. The second scenario is when you try to be intimate, nothing sexual just intimate and romantic, he kind of struggles with the reality he's in a committed relationship and almost feels repulsed, he doesn't understand why but intimacy of any sort makes him pull away slightly and there isn't anything you can do to help but give him time.

Chigiri Hyoma: He gets insecure sometimes, he's usually super confident, and he knows how good he looks, how well he plays, and how good of a boyfriend he is. But there are times when he sees you getting attention from other people, I mean, how couldn't you? You were stunning, drop-dead perfect, but he can't help but feel slightly insecure, that maybe one of these people could preform better than him. Chigiri reacts on impulse and half accuses you of wanting someone else but immediately shuts up, he started the short-lived argument but wants your forgiveness, he feels guilty for being so brash and talks it out with you. He also does an 'at home spa day' to try and cheer you up.

Bachira Meguru: Now Bachira is sometimes a bit much, he's a chatterbox and a constant buzz of excitement, he constantly needs your attention, or he feels like you don't love him, he wants to be clinging to you often as possible. No sane person can really keep up with the level he's on without getting a little worn out or frustrated, so when you start to mellow out and stop matching his enthusiasm he doesn't get mad, but he gets upset. He'll wake you up in the middle of the night, face filled with tears you can't see, but you can hear it in his voice, he'll keep asking if you love him anymore and apologizing for being annoying. Reassure him and explain to him the truth so he doesn't overthink and everything will be okay.

[dalekinapaintedparadise]

Stumbled upon a Reddit thread (don't ask) where people still whine and bitch about having to pick the "Nah, fucked that up too," dialogue option at the Oil fields to have a good relationship with Johnny. Saying that it needs to get fixed, calling it 'antagonizing' him, further proving that they don't understand him or his friendship with V at all. Sorry, but what's still not clicking? Holding him accountable for what he did and being honest with him is the only way you can have a good relationship with him for a reason.

It's not scolding him, it's not being mean, it's just V telling him 'No, what you did hurt me and I can't trust you anymore.' And he needs that, he needs someone who won't let him get away with the shit he does, he needs someone who is honest with him and won't just agree with everything he says so that he can grow and change. He knows he royally messed up, but he needs to hear that from V too. How do you expect V to have a true friendship with him if they just let him walk all over them and act like he did nothing wrong and everything's fine?

And it makes sense that the devs chose this as the secret ending unlocker because you can't have them storm Arasaka Tower together in full synergy when some parts of them are still at odds with each other.

Listen, I love Johnny as much as we all do here, but he needs to be called out when he messes up, and that's that.

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

[the-acid-pear]

Y'know this little throwaway gag is so bizarre to me and I know this game is a bit very different to 2 and 3 but look at Matt's reaction when Jack raids the place in 3:

You'd argue he's simply stopping Jack bc he hates this guy and he also hates this job which Could Be True but i highly doubt bc overall despite his virginity and overall cursed vibe, Matt seems to be a good employee, by all means (I mean, Peter literally gave him a vacation instead of firing him in 2, so that says a lot).

Plus, Dave hates this guy as much as he hates him! He literally always calls him creepy and, AND!

This is the only footage you get of the prize corner in 2. Which is also the first game to show Matt and Dave's disdain for one another, Dave being likely more scared of Matt than Matt will ever be of him.

Which is all very curious. 2 does set a drastic change for Matt too with him going from being just strange to outright creepy, so was the old pizza place closing something that actually affected him or was he consistently that creepy all along? And if the later, did he just start hating Dave after that or did they always have beef and they simply had some sort of arrangement (or even higher word from Steven who tended to let Dave do whatever he wanted in general) that let him do so?

[tswwwit]

I know Bill's the big bad demon everyone is afraid of and he will protect his husband at all costs (when no one's looking), but I think it's also worth mentioning that Dipper, even being the dorky, squishy human that he is, also cares about his dumb demon hubby and wants to keep him safe, even if it annoys Bill, and really, he doesn't need protecting the way Dipper does. He isn't going to puff out his chest and get in someone's face like some macho man, but I think Dipper knee-jerk reaction when Bill's in "danger" isn't to just shrug because he's an all-powerful demon who can handle it. If a blast that could level a whole town was aimed at Bill's head (for him, this just means a bad hair day and a new body), Dipper's immediate impulse is to push him out of the way or defend him against whatever wants to kill his familiar. Because he's not thinking "Bill could literally end this match in .3 seconds." He's thinking "if you touch even one hair on that asshole's head, I'm going to knock yours clean off your shoulders." I don't know what the point even is in this post, just that Dipper is this nerdy, unassuming guy who ends up being viciously protective under the right conditions. Like I think Dipper pulls off the bloody and vengeful look SO well that Bill immediately melts and just lets him handle the situation, even though it's not really Dipper's fight to begin with. He's beating the guy to a pulp with zero reserve, and Bill's off to the side swooning and twirling his hair over his man for getting his hands dirty for him.

It's true! While Bill's not the type to enjoy being underestimated, he has to admit! Seeing his adorable husband all riled up on his behalf is a hell of a sight.

The thing is, Dipper's a good guy! He can't help but put himself in danger over others. Even when all reason and logic say that Bill would be absolutely fine if he got his head exploded or a shiv in his kidney, Dipper's instinct is to fully and immediately get in the way of that. To, in fact, be protective.

Mostly this is only evident when Dipper has to stand up to Ford. Yes, yes, Bill's a vile horrible monstrosity, but he didn't do that particular thing you're accusing him of. Watching him stand up to his uncle is a particular treat!

For bigger threats, though - Well. Bill's gonna be absolutely fine, no matter what happens, thank you very much. But he's definitely not opposed to seeing some guy who was about to literally stab him in the back get a few of his teeth knocked out.

[oozeandgoo-art]

[screamingay]

someone on here will literally say "encouraging plastic surgery for the sole purpose of conforming to eurocentric beauty standards isn't actually feminism" and 200 other people will come out of the woodworks and chant in harmony LET WOMEN BE HAPPY and WHAT ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE AND BURN VICTIMS as if the post wasn't clearly 1. about womens' self image & insecurities being strongly influenced by the richest and whitest of society and 2. not about trans people or burn victims at all

[snekdood]

Your impulse to believe every last bad thing people say about a guy and then if that guy is victimized by those people or the people who spread the rumors you dont even try to look into if thats even the case, you just assume hes bad by default-- yeah thats incredibly unfair to guys who are victims of abuse.

[communistkenobi]

I know being like “communism is religious” is an extremely annoying thing to say but I’m reading a book called red demiurge which is about the legal history of the soviet union and honestly that title is not hyperbole

[stellarsightz]

What is the flavor of fear?

Sublime, my Brother.

(Alternate version under the cut)

[sagehaubitze]

I write a lot to deal with my emotions and to process (right now I am processing a lot of anger, still). I don't share a lot of it, but I did write something to post on fetlife yesterday having to do with my friend, Remy's, death. The circles of people I have over there have no real context or frame of reference for any of it though. Since I'm still vaguely furry-adjacent, I figured maybe people (all like.. five of you) would get more mileage out of it here, so I'm crossposting it.

This is a small tidbit of furry history. Before you fly off the handle and send me anon hate, please take a minute to read all of this through. Plus think about what type of person would absolutely fucking loathe both queer people involved in WWII reenacting, and queer people dressing in uniform to do weird kink shit. (it's supposed to be fascists that idealize the era, they would have an aneurysm, but this is a trick question because apparently everybody loathes it)

Anyway. Pushing the Feldpost Envelope (furries and nazis and death in here.)

"History lesson.

I'm at the third year of my home furcon in 2005, attending opening ceremonies, wearing my officer's cap. All day, I've been nervously eyeing someone also in an officer's cap, albeit a different branch, worried that they're either going to be confrontational, or that they're a bad actor and a bigot. We'd unknowingly run in the same circles for a couple years now, but had yet to cross paths in any significant way until today.

"I like your hat" he smiled and piped up after the ceremonies were over. I, a very anxious sixteen year old girl at the time, had a flood of relief wash over me now that the ice had been broken and he didn't seem like a total asshole (joke's on me, Remy was still an asshole, just usually the good kind). "I like yours too..!" I chimed back. And the rest was history. "Living history", actually.

A couple months prior, Remy had created the Nazi Furs community, which I wound up co-running and co-moderating. The goal was to create a space for people with a genuine interest in history and reenacting (which despite the name wasn't limited to the German side of things) and/or for those who get their rocks off in uniform, a little more tucked away from early 2000s internet shock value, and most importantly protected from actual racists, bigots, and all around pieces of shit (which took a hell of a lot of work). Furries tend to cover the whole gamut of kink, and while Remy and I both leaned further towards the leather subculture, we tried to make space for all of the spectrum as long as it was related to that specific time period in some way.

We were not a popular or well liked group. But we were a necessary group. This is the south, if you weren't a cishet good ol boy, it was frankly just not safe to venture into any reenacting groups around here at the time. So, we made our own space for it, to be gay and weird and ourselves while we ran around in the woods. Even in kink, we tried to push the envelope for what was "acceptable" in the eyes of larger communities and carve out a little trench for ourselves, because often in the most accepting places, people would still take issue (and still do). We did our best to push back against people feeling closeted or ashamed for what they were interested in, kink or not. Don't be a shitty person is all we asked. We were young and we stumbled a lot, but we tried our best.

Ultimately, with the shifting perspectives in the fandom, in kink, and in general with online spaces being cleansed to be more palatable and marketable, we lost the fight. Part of it came from the evolving political environment in the US, it did become impossibly hard to weed out bad actors, and not be seen/assumed as a bad actor yourself. But part of it is from lingering social norms on what is "okay" and "acceptable" (even in alternative subcultures), instead of remembering that some interests can be solely academic and not a reflection of your own personal world views. Bleeding over to kink, it's exactly the same, and some people have forgotten that kink should be weird and ugly and not acceptable, it should challenge your emotions and perspective sometimes. It is the opposite of social norms, it's not meant to be sanitized and diluted down for the masses to consume. It's meant for you, and your self expression, self exploration, and your kameraden who share that with you.

Remy died on January 26th. He was one of my very best friends, and there are not many people left on this planet who know me like he did. I rushed to clean his house of things his mother did not want, or need, to see, because I was the only one left to do so. He is survived by communities that did not want him and refuse to see the work he put in for people to have a place they felt accepted.

I have no place in community anymore. But if anyone reading this feels ostracized for their interests or kinks, I feel the same so deeply inside me that it hurts my soul. You shouldn't have to feel that way. I do not have it in me anymore to try and create a space like Remy and I worked on in the past, but do know that you're not alone. I'll be here. I'm still here somehow."

-----

I would also like to add this summarized post that Remy made to the original group, the last post in the group, in 2017.

"In the wake of recent social unrest, we would like to take a moment to make a statement regarding this community.

Nazi_Furs was created by a bunch of nerds. Yes, you read correctly. A bunch of big old nerdy nerds started nazi_furs to post stories, art, historical articles, images from WWII museums, reenacting and living history events, and sometimes little animated gifs of dancing hitlers that we thought were funny.

Most of our members were card carrying homosexuals. Almost all of our moderators were gay, trans, or some other color of "unacceptable" to ACTUAL NEO-NAZIS.

Many of us have well researched and thought out fursonas that inhabit a world set during WWII era Germany. The setting used in many movies like Bed-knobs and Broomsticks, Indiana Jones, Iron Sky, and Dead Snow lends itself well to fantasy. Setting talking animal people into this backdrop did not seem like such a huge clusterfuck at the time.

Nazis are a cliche', relegated to "the bad guys" in popular culture. The sharp uniforms, advanced military weapons and tactics, crackpot schemes, and paranormal ties are used all the time in modern media. They are a caricature of what they were 70+ years ago, much like ninjas (paid assassins) and pirates (murderers and thieves) are today. Once you have been relegated to a children's Halloween costume you no longer have the influence to command respect or fear.

Let us allow nazis to be just that, a cliche condemned to be the "bumbling bad guys". Let us laugh at them and rob them of any authority they feel they may have. There haven't been any "REAL" nazis since the downfall of the NSDAP in 1945, and any members of that movement would be pushing 90 by now.

The "alt-right" are not nazi_furs. They are hateful individuals putting on costumes pretending to be like people they do not understand who have been dead for years. These people WANT you to associate them with nazis, and calling them that only feeds their egos. Lets try not to do that.

If you take anything away from our group, let it be a reminder of our origins as nerdy nerds pouring over history books, saturating ourselves in history to better understand what happened in the 1930s and 40s. Take a look at our current situation we find ourselves in and ask yourselves if we are all doomed to repeat our past mistakes. Then focus your rage and disapproval in a productive manner. Get out there and vote the real racist out of office. Mobilize in peaceful protest, advocate for the oppressed and downtrodden. Make the world a better place than you found it."

I stepped away from the fandom when my home convention, RCFM, ended after a decade. I had been run into the ground, my wallet taken advantage of entirely too much, and I was burnt out beyond belief. Remy stayed more up to date on fandom things, I know there were issues with other "nazi" groups popping up that were inundated with the alt-right. There was no avoiding getting lumped in with them, so we eventually just enjoyed our interests in silence, away from everyone else.

To be completely honest, the majority of our time was spent in museums and hunting down weirdly specific esoteric research topics, which we'd then attempt to discuss while drunk around a fire (this is the academic way). It wasn't to idolize these people or politics, it was to understand an extremely complicated time period and what was born out of it. There are SO MANY absolutely fascinating aspects to study, not just "woo big scary gun death ubermench". What people saw most though, convention-wise at least, were the room parties where we could let our hair down and be WEIRD. Furcon room parties are fucking weird just as a baseline, throw some uniforms and sadomasochism in, sometimes some LSD, and... I mean yeah. And of course that's all that stuck in anybody's mind. Though, tbh, a lot of the time for the majority of the night, it was just a small circle of friends watching war movies and drinking. We came up with this (not) great idea to take a shot every time there was a depth charge in Das Boot, yeah I can't recommend that lmao.

Even from the reenacting standpoint, Remy was putting together a US medic impression (not even German! *clutches pearls*) over the past few years, because he was an EMT by trade. I've always reenacted a very inept Wehrmacht artillery officer who is a touch cowardly, not great at their job, and is usually relegated to office/paperwork. It's far from the edgy internet shock value people associated us with.

Nowadays I am usually running around in the woods alone, or getting the shit kicked out of me in uniform (consensually). I'm just less visible about it. I wish I didn't have to be. It feels very lonely, extremely so now that I've lost Remy. I think there was a good opportunity somewhere in there to push back against the alt-right by being very VERY gay and trans and queer and weird in uniform, destroy the image they were trying to create for themselves, but the current culture of the internet wouldn't have allowed that. I'm still going to keep doing that, just.. y'know, in my own space, on my own time.

I hope other people are out there being weird too. I'll be weird with you in spirit.

[clockworkcheetah]

why did the fandom decide that todd hates people/socialising when hes clearly the most comfortable/happy when he gets to socialise

[todayisafridaynight]

interrupting non-rgg posting with non-rgg posting do you guys wanna look over my pros-vs-cons list of grocery shopping today thanks

[hua-fei-hua]

we have moved on to persuasive speeches in comm class n bc we have so little time left in the semester they're gonna be partner debates, so i have grouped up with the guy in there with whom i started talking abt genshin a while back, n we're just like. "fuck it. let's just do the ethics of gacha games and whether they should be regulated like gambling in casinos"