#im an utter and complete dumbass

[the-acid-pear]

Y'know this little throwaway gag is so bizarre to me and I know this game is a bit very different to 2 and 3 but look at Matt's reaction when Jack raids the place in 3:

You'd argue he's simply stopping Jack bc he hates this guy and he also hates this job which Could Be True but i highly doubt bc overall despite his virginity and overall cursed vibe, Matt seems to be a good employee, by all means (I mean, Peter literally gave him a vacation instead of firing him in 2, so that says a lot).

Plus, Dave hates this guy as much as he hates him! He literally always calls him creepy and, AND!

This is the only footage you get of the prize corner in 2. Which is also the first game to show Matt and Dave's disdain for one another, Dave being likely more scared of Matt than Matt will ever be of him.

Which is all very curious. 2 does set a drastic change for Matt too with him going from being just strange to outright creepy, so was the old pizza place closing something that actually affected him or was he consistently that creepy all along? And if the later, did he just start hating Dave after that or did they always have beef and they simply had some sort of arrangement (or even higher word from Steven who tended to let Dave do whatever he wanted in general) that let him do so?

[entityredacted]

I promise I'm not dead I've just been going through some shit irl + lost all motivation to do fanart so here's some ocs

[technicolorxsn]

okay so far the vibe I'm getting from Gideon the ninth is that the whole novel is "let's torture this lesbian"

[ilycosy]

❝ PERFECTION ❞ | LUKE CASTELLAN

pairing : luke castellan x daughter of aphrodite!reader

summary — being a child of aphrodite deems you perfect from the moment you get claimed, the expection of complete and utter perfection can weigh down on somebody. somehow, a simple hermes boy reaches all those expectations without even trying.

warnings : hurt/comfort but it's platonic , this takes place in noted , luke is a cocky dumbass & reader is heavily implied to be autistic

aﾉn — first fic for noted !! the smau is being worked on l8r since im a little exhausted n not feeling well again but , i have this to hold u guys over <3 + some smut in drafts :33 every1 say thank u kai for proofreading this <33 @grsveyrrd

you couldn't remember the last time you felt at ease, being at camp always got your blood pumping and the rush of adrenaline in your veins. even being a daughter of aphrodite, stereotypically dainty, you still felt that rush for glory.

you couldn't ever express that need for it though, as camp counselor, you were always expected to guide younger campers into their quests and their own legacy while ignoring your own. it seemed that you were the only one held to that expectation though, clearly shown by hermes cabin.

luke castellan, son of hermes. god of messaging and traveling, he always seemed to be on the move— talking idly with anyone who will listen, overall somebody who people can look up to.

not you though, you couldn't help but resent him. his overly confident smile and cute head tilt, not to mention how he's always winning every sword fight he's ever been in. he'd say something stupid like 'perks of being the best in the last three-hundred years', and then your eyeroll would just fuel his ego.

perfection was expected at camp, from everybody. being the pride of the gods was almost unachievable, almost.

you and luke had always seemed to never get along, most played it off as playful banter but you both knew it was something more. you just couldn't stand each other, no matter how hard you both tried.

he was just easily amazing at everything he does, seemingly rushing into things without thinking and winning. while you were stuck on the opposite team desperately working, never succeeding.

frustration was the worst way to describe it, it barely encompassed everything you felt. "hey," a voice spoke out, sounding raspy from thirst. "luke is wondering where you are, it's almost time for archery."

evan, while not related to you in any way, he was basically your brother. you took a shaky breath as you looked down at the lake, the prickling pain of every sense coming alive at full force now hitting you.

you didn't respond to him, unable to form the words to describe how much you didn't want to face luke and be proved to be a fool again. the metallic clink of evan's armor was heard as he sat down next to you, he was supposed to be at a practice run of capture the flag right now.

"you're skipping practice." you state, your head resting on your legs as you breathe heavy. regulating yourself the way chiron taught you, even though it barely ever worked.

you heard the click of his mouth before he went quiet, drumming his fingers on his knee before speaking. "im helping my sister," he says, scrunching up his nose at the endearment he called you himself. "practice can't wait, besides ill just fall asleep."

you laugh but it hurts, not a good hurt but more of a achey hurt. hurt for the exertion of emotion, hurt that he finds himself useless in an important sport, and hurt that you're failing to meet your obligations for the other campers at archery practice.

evan fills the silence until he can't anymore, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. sometimes you wonder if he's mr. d's son with how he can act so witty and talkative with you, even though he's a hermit around others.

eventually though, his predictions were right. two hours into his talking he begins to lean, falling asleep almost as fast as he began talking. resting his head on your shoulder, his black hair tickling your cheek.

his smell was comforting though, and even though the armor he hadn't shed dug into your side and your stomach as you laid down with him on you— you couldn't imagine trading it.

his light snores and drool seeped into your bright orange shirt, but you ignored it. using his body as a weighted blanket as you looked out into the water, finding the warm sun and soft grass rather comfortable.

you drifted off easily, hypnos taking you under his wing as he allowed you a peaceful sleep. freed from worries and the expectations, he didn't even let you wake when another counselor found you guys.

luke looked down at the two of you in the grass, taking a moment to just be a tired teen with you before gently picking you up. smiling gently at evan's sleepy face before gesturing him to follow him back to the cabins, cradling you maybe a bit too close than he would with others.

but evan wouldn't say anything, the moment was perfect even if you didn't remember it. (he definitely took a picture though).

[sugugasm]

𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 - toji fushiguro

· ₊ ⊹ SYNOPSIS — toji knows just how to get back at your ex.

「❀」 pairing : toji fushiguro x black fem! reader

「❀」 content warning : minors do not interact ! dad’s bestfriend toji, age gap ꒰ toji is forty and reader is in her late twenties ꒱ missionary, fingering, use of the word bitch - during sex - just once, use of pet names such as ꒰ sweetheart, pretty, slut ꒱

「❀」 word count : 3.6K whoop whoop !!

「❀」 author’s note : hiii !!! here’s me re-uploading this edited version of tastiest revenge - apart of my friendship is magic series - bc tumblr took it down the first time :/ i wanted to put out the gojo fic first but due to school starting, i realized how busy i’ve become :0 please enjoy & interactions n reblogs are always loved <33

you were taken aback when toji answered your call. not only was the time 10:56 PM, but it was also the middle of the week. you ought to been fast asleep in your apartment by now, getting a good night's rest for whatever the world had in store for you tomorrow. but, alas, you were slouching on toji fushiguro's porch, your clothes drenched from the light rain and your makeup smeared from all the tears you'd let fall down your pretty face.

toji stands up from his recliner and looks around before hurriedly opening the door. his heart nearly bursts from your change in vigor. the hesitant, kindhearted disposition you always possessed seems to have been lost just about now; you have a slight pout on your face and stare up at him with imploring eyes.

he swiftly draws you into the warmth of his chest and shut the door behind him without you having to speak another word. his contact causes your body to tremble, and the rumble from his chest doesn't do you credit. all you could hear was him repeatedly mumbling phrases like ‘speak to me’ and ‘i’m right here.’

he allows you a brief minute to collect your thoughts as your nose started to run due to all the sniffling you'd been doing. as he goes into the kitchen, you take a seat on one of the three cushions, letting your head rest against the seat. toji could be seen pouring tea into a lovely glass mug out of the corner of your tearful eyes.

“you wanna’ tell me what brings you here?” he asks, settling into the couch and leaving you both with just enough space. you were completely silent. that bubbly, talkative spirit you usually had was much more comforting compared to the silence he was experiencing right now. you looked completely drained— almost as if someone had completely stripped you from your joy.

“im sorry, toji. i didn’t mean to impose l-like this,” you utter and he chuckles. he gathers the remote in his hand and turns the tv down, figuring you were ready to vent.

“it’s not a bother at all, yn. y’know that.”

you weakly smile, taking a sip of the warm liquid given to you. a deep sigh leaves your lips, “he cheated. like.. a lot.”

before you finished speaking, you could see toji clench his jaw. your former boyfriend, or ‘a fucking bastard,’ as toji used to describe him, was a dumbass. toji wasn't surprised when you discussed this matter, given that the kid was well known for his horrible reputation with the ladies at your uni. since the minute he shook his hand at your birthday all those months ago, he was able to tell that the youngster was a jackass.

the son of a bitch was disrespectful when toji first met him. he spoke of you as if you were merely an item on his arm or a tool at his disposal. he was a real asshole and a heartbreaker; he wasn't your typical old bum of a man, and toji could read him from a mile away.

the kid wore a smug look on his face, only a look of someone without pure intentions would have. he was playing you the entire time and it was easy to see from the eyes of someone who was once a player his damn self.

you see, toji was irritated by the notion that someone could be so foolish as to lose a woman like you. someone who was so understanding, determined to get what she wanted, clever, and humorous in response to everything said to her.

blind. he had to be blind is all.

“a video was posted of him today. he was kissing another girl at some party,” yet another stray tear fell from the brim of your eye and there toji was to wipe it away, “i’m such an idiot.”

no you aren’t.

“nah, he’s a dumbass, and i’ll be damned if i have to sit here and watch you cry over something that isn’t your fault.”

you take a tiny pause in an effort to contain the tears that were on the verge of escaping. of course, none of this was your fault, but for some reason, you felt that you had to bear some responsibility. you made a foolish decision by disobeying all the guidance you had been given, and as a result, you are again stuck with the consequences. given that your father and toji had warned you about the man from the start, you were surprised that he had the strength to even talk to you about it.

“i just- i just should’ve listened to you, that’s all.”

toji sighs, grabbing ahold of your hands and squeezing them gently, “it’s a bad time to say i told you so, so i’m just gonna’ say i’m glad that you’ve come to your senses. he was a dickhead.”

toji noticed you smiling for the first time tonight, so his clumsy joke must have succeeded. genuinely. after your brief burst of laughter, you kept your gaze fixed on toji’s flatscreen without saying a word. the house's four walls reverberated with the faint sound of a local broadcaster's voice as the two of you sat in quiet comfort.

he hopes he won't have to be the one to break the news by asking, “does your father know?” he despised doing things behind his back, but if you wanted him to, he could keep a secret. you admired that you could talk to toji about nearly anything, which was one of his best qualities. he wasn't patronizing or disciplining like your dad.

yes, you adored your old man dearly, but there are instances when hearing someone else's point of view than that of a parent can be quite beneficial. toji. would undoubtedly advise you of right and wrong, but he would never make you feel bad about yourself.

we’re human beings and we all make our fair share of mistakes.

by this time, you were no longer sobbing and you were getting a little bit closer to the man. his side profile is followed by your suckling eyes as you savor his sensitive features. even though you've known toji since you were in your early twenties, you've always thought he was gorgeous, but time has been kind to him. as excellent wine ages, so was he. hell, he probably tasted as delicious as he appeared—

toji starts, somewhat unexpectedly, “y'know, for what it's worth, i think you're an amazing woman." he fumbles with the silver chain dangling from his chest before saying, “you’re pretty, you're smart, and you make a mean pho.”

pretty. he called you pretty.

toji’s solemn face prompts you to hastily cover your smile as he adds, “you didn't deserve to be treated that way- and i hope you know that.” you could feel a hand gently caressing your arm. his calluses brushed against your skin as he held it in a warm, rough manner. the gesture almost made you want to pant like a bitch in the heat, even if you had no idea why or how.

he murmurs, “i don't ever wanna' see you cry like that again,” as his dark irises finally contact yours and you two exchange a soft look. unknown to you at the time, something was causing you to approach a little bit more closely than you had intended. you long for a kiss as your gaze moves from his lips to his eyes and back again.

as you prepare to make what would likely be one of your biggest mistakes yet, you close your eyes. you decrease the distance between you two to just a few inches by placing your lips on his. toji ought to have pushed you away at the first moment, but he was driven to submit. the way your mouth felt against his was just so effortlessly natural.

perhaps the novelty of being alone or the warmth of his body against yours is responsible for you feeling this way right now, but all you want is to continue feeling him like this forever.

toji grabs the nape of your neck while you moan into the kiss, luring you in. you take the initiative to straddle his lap as you start to feel a pool between your thighs, your covered pussy pressing on his crotch as you exchanged saliva.

to your surprise, toji pulls away when you ask for more by licking his bottom lip. even before returning to reality, you managed to feel the remorse beginning to rise in your stomach.

“m’ sorry. i don’t- i don’t know what i was thinking,” you mumble, quickly climbing off of his lap and back into your previous position. “i’m sorry. fuck- i’m sorry. i shouldn’t- we shouldn’t-“ you go on, but all that came out of your apology was a weak, anxious whine. toji simply sits there, likely attempting to process what just happened.

you were scared, but you were also humiliated. toji was not only your father's closest friend, but also his business partner. this could endanger his friendships, family, and profession.

you can't bring yourself to say anything else. you start to gather your things and get ready to go to the door, but just as you stand up, a hand delicately grabs hold of your wrist.

“you want me?”

yes.

“toji- i didn’t mean to-“

“yes or no?”

as you swallow, your chest rises and falls from the kiss's delirium. toji manspreads while keeping his hands on his lap and waiting for your response, tapping his foot on floor. he did have an issue with staring. his eyes gave off the impression that they would cut straight through you.

you say, "y-yes," but it sounds more like a moan. when toji hears this, he gets up from his chair and approaches you slowly. his hands were in the pockets of his gray sweats, and he had a smirk on his face. he continues moving until he is directly in front of you, his shirt showing his hardened nipples.

“say it with your chest, yn. did you not just kiss me? or was i imagining things?”

his taunting tone of voice not only annoyed you, but it turned you on too. he tilts his head to the side and looks you up and down, eyes following your curves, “toji, i want you.”

that was all he needed until it was his turn to attack your mouth with pecks. pecks turned into drawn out kisses and those eventually escalated to biting and sucking on one another’s lips. your noses chafed together as toji groans into your mouth. while your tongues danced to the rhythm of desire, toji’s hand came between your pants and the waistband of your pink panties. he shoves his palm inside the lousy fabric to cup your cunt in his hand.

he flicks his middle finger at your folds as you whimper, "want more, please." he can feel your lust on the tip of his knuckle. “i need you,” your nails skim the happy trail under his shirt, causing toji to grunt. the poor guy had no idea how much power you had over him.

“are you gonna’ regret it?” you ask, and yes, it was blunt of you, but you wondered if he was truly aware of the consequences of this action. you had to think of it from his perspective too.

toji was currently obtaining a happy life. he lived a peaceful existence with just him and his son and had a profession that was more than well compensated, but you? you were a grown woman—twenty eight, to be precise—and although you may have acted impulsively, it may have been just what you wanted. but want eventually turns to greed, and you’d hate to do damage to his conscious over your behavior.

“why would i regret you?”

you wanted to spend the evening lusting over his wonderful words— hearing him tell you the sweetest things, but no matter how sincere and charming his question was, your thoughts were elsewhere.

toji and you each had the ability to choose your own paths. everything you've done up to this point has been deemed inappropriate, and even if he were to stuff you full of his cock, it wouldn't matter. this was already out of line as is.

you make the decision to take matters into your own hands and carry on the passionate makeout session by encircling his neck with your arms. you can feel toji's hands pinching your ass cheeks as he begins to cup them to enfold you in his arms. he sits down on the sofa with you still in his grasp, allowing you to straddle his lap as before.

the hard cock sitting pretty in his sweats did nothing but rub up against you. as much as you wanted to take it slow, you couldn’t suppress the urge to let him have his way with you.

“‘ima fuck you so good, princess. so much better than he ever has,” he utters. you lift your hips up to give him room to finally take his aching cock out of his sweats. while doing so, he doesn’t dare take his eyes off of you.

"look at what you do to me, love," to put it mildly, you were in wonder as he grabbed hold of your chin and lowered your head between you both. first the middle, then the base was displayed. the thin pubic hairs that were still attached to his skin were somewhat cut, lying flat against his shaft as the tip of him flashed a brilliant pink.

as his cock stood up, toji flexed his lower abdomen to move it a little. each time he did this, his cock tapped against your belly, creating a pat.

“big huh? it’ll fit, don’t worry,” he ends his sentence with a wink and grasps on to your ass cheeks again, this time, parting them slowly. as you lift up, his cock aligns with your hole, leaking and eager for some attention.

“please be careful. it’s been a while,” you mumble. you turn to look away but he only comforts you, “i will. i promise.”

as toji entered you, your pussy revealed how horny you truly were. your sopping cunt slobbered around him inch by inch, little by little. your juices had covered his cock and made it easier for your walls to expand, adjusting to his size.

the burn causes your mouth to hiss. feeling him wriggle his way in like this made you feel like a virgin all over again. he had the kind of dick you had to mentally prepare yourself for; the kind that, after only two or more minutes, would have you crying and trembling in his hands.

“focus, yn. just focus on us, for right now.” he didn’t have to tell you twice. how could you not focus on just this? toji had your head spinning and your insides bubbling like never before. it’d be hard to think of anything or anyone else other than him, “you’re so deep- shit!” mushing your ass in his hands, he lifts you up and down his cock, making you feel each and every bit of him. toji bites back a moan when you start to become more comfortable— hips moving with his and your ass melting in his palms.

arms incoherently wrap around toji’s neck as he digs deep, moaning into your ear, “you don’t understand how good you feel. can i go faster? wanna’ make you cum all over my lap like the good girl i know you are.” you practically scream yes and immediately after, you hear a clapping sound.

your ass slamming against toji’s thighs was the cause of the ruckus, you realize as you turn to face the source of the noise. as you watch toji’s cock slip in and out of your pussy, he raises his head to stare at the side of your face, getting excited at how hard you clenched down in him as you watched him fuck you vigorously.

“look at how good you’re doing. takin’ that dick like it’s yours. you look so pretty like this.”

his encouraging words appeared to have given you self-assurance. using both of your forces to fill yourself, you start to slam down on him. you felt as though you were handling a lot at once, but you hardly cared enough to flee. god, did it feel wonderful to be taking dick like a pro.

“ooo- it's stretching me, toji! feels so fuckin’ good. i love it so much.” one thing toji picked up from this was how much of a screamer you were. every thrust ended with another high-pitched moan grumbling from your chest.

“you’re a loud lil’ thing, aren’t you? hope the neighbors don’t mind too much, but they’ll understand, right? i’m fuckin’ you so well they’ll have no choice but to understand.”

it was so easy for him to utter such derogatory phrases knowing the conditions his life would be in after— but he felt like he was compelled to. he loved the sensation of listening to your pussy becoming wetter with each passing stroke. incredibly responsive— his favorite.

his thoughts began to flow as a result of your hands grabbing at his shoulders. you were so desperate that you were delighted to accept whatever he was putting down, “i can’t believe mr. ln’s daughter is such a dirty little bitch. how do you think he’d feel knowin’ i’m ruining you like this, hm?”

that was when you came. something about the secrecy just made you all the more ablazed. although this might’ve been just a temporary feeling, you clamored for more— hollering his name and the curses that trailed behind it.

“m’ cumming! m’ cumming- fuck me, toji!”

he laughs, “how good is it, slut? tell me, how’s it feel?”

you could barely produce a single sound. you could only hold your mouth ajar and let out broken whines. your body was drowning in a sheen coat of sweat and your pussy was a bit sore, but you wanted to cum again.

“it feels a-amazingh,” you babble, unable to even utter the pronunciation of your words as he continues to poke at your g-spot. he was fucking you through it, talking you through it, and pulling you right into his grasp to swallow your whines with his mouth.

after he wrung out the last of your juices, he quickly lifts you up and places you on your back. he could now see just how pretty your pussy truly was. two plumped folds sitting on either side of a puffy clit that was in need of some sucking and a cute hole that ached for good dick.

a dream. a dream indeed.

toji wasted no time slipping it in, feeling your walls comfort his cock like a warm hug. every stroke was tender, but he was so slutty. the chain dangling from his neck beamed in your face and out of instinct, you tug on it a little to pull him down. taking a second to indulge in his features. he was so fucking sexy, especially like this— jet black hair sticking to his forehead, muscle tee drenched in sweat, and his small, hidden whines slipping in every now and then. you couldn’t believe you hadn’t done this sooner.

“i-i love this. love your dick so much- makes m-me feel so happy, toji.” now it was your turn to make your words dig deep, bringing him to the checkpoint with just a few praises.

“don’t say shit like that- fuck.”

you bring your hands to his face to cup his cheeks. you gently press your forehead against his and continue whispering sweet nothings against his lips.

“i can’t believe you’re fucking me like this— like you’ve wanted me for so long. you must love this pussy, huh? love when i take you like this?”

you take note of his sudden shudder, his strokes slowly becoming harder as his breath hitches near your ear, “yn, you better fuckin’ stop.”

“i can’t help it, toji. you just fuck me so much better,” you gasp and reached your arms around his neck, burying your head in his neck. you clench around him, and toji nearly loses it. the knot was finally beginning to unravel, his stomach was fluttering, and he was a bit tired, but he was so close— and you were too, again.

“where do you want me, sweet girl? i’m gonna’ to cum,” he asks, and you answer with a stream of yeses and ‘inside inside’. on command, you feel the wave of toji’s cum filling you full. your pussy wet him up with yet another orgasm and you practically collapse.

toji continues to fuck you through your climax, as well as his own. he was being nothing but dirty, yet a hint of weet. whispering things like ‘good girl’ and ‘i’m so proud of you’ over and over. your head was empty and so was your energy scale. you wanted nothing more than a nice soak in a warm bath to attend to your sore figure.

toji pulls out of you, leaving a airy noise being him when he does. his dick was coated in white, and he was still hard as you were wet, but you were both far too exhausted to give it another go.

he sees some of his cum dripping from your pussy and scoops it onto his index finger. lifting that same hand to your mouth, your lips immediately part to taste the mess the two of you made, “revenge tastes sweet doesn’t it?” he asks as you suck on his fingers until completely clean, letting out a moan while doing so.

as he stands to his full height, he stares down at your limp limbs and shakes his head in disbelief, “i didn’t kill ya’ did i?” he breathlessly laughs. you weakly smile and flip him off as he heads down the hall.

eventually toji returns, watching quietly as your lashes kiss your cheeks with exhaustion. still under a trance, he takes a towel he’d gotten from the bathroom to smooth your back and thighs, making sure to get between them as well. as he finishes, you could feel a delicate kiss being planted behind your ear.

his act as a caretaker drove you into a deep sleep, and he was left to reflect on what took place night. he might be jobless, and friendless in morning, but for right now, he’d rather fall asleep to the sound of your breaths as you lay your head on his chest— dreaming of the life you deserve.

©️ SATORUBI 2023 please do not copy, repost as your own, or translate any of my work without my knowledge <33

[ultimateyapper]

anyway, here's wonderwall. | chapter one

[ chapter 2 ]

were you truly mentally prepared for what would unfold in hotarubi? it couldn't be any worse than having a gun to your head right? despite the late hour, it's nearly impossible to get what taiga said out of your mind.

there's a mole.

but why would there be a mole at darkwick? who would it be? someone you know? a friend? how does taiga even know this?

there's officially too much on your mind to get any sleep.

yawning, you turn over to pull your phone off the charger. it was cute with an adapter shaped like a cat paw. the smile kaito wore as he handed it to you was full of pride. he said he got it "just because". it was clearly a lie after luca suggested it was consolation for skipping out on training but it's funny remembering how red he got afterwards. it was a sweet gesture but how does he expect to pay off his debt if he keeps buying things "just because".

the screen lights up and after blinking away tears from the initial brightness you read the time. ten minutes after midnight. maybe there's something interesting on wickchat? there wasn't a lot of time to check during the last mission.

eventually you make it to your messages. only a select few people are active due to the late hour and kaito is one of them. you can see him typing in your group chat. the one he made after the mission in frostheim. you temporarily left the chat while talking with taiga. although, in all honesty, trying not to get killed by taiga would fit better. you had texted him more than 10 minutes before you came to his room. yet still a gun was pointed to your head for the third (maybe fourth, you were losing track) time that week.

with complete and utter seriousness he claimed he "didn't know any honor student".

how many times did he expect you to introduce yourself exactly? you considered being a smartass and just saying a fake name. instead you decided to move, slowly so you didn't set him off, and show the texts.

suddenly the blonde started spamming the group chat in all caps, lighting up your phone with vibration after vibration. something about getting his point across to that dumbass, who you're assuming is probably luca. in hindsight, you could've just turned notifs off but when taiga was clearly starting to get pissed off you went with the quickest option. upsetting the guy with a machine gun for a special artifact isn't exactly at the top of your to-do list.

( #1 peekaboo fan )

im surprised to see luca up this late

the conversation comes to an abrupt halt. three dots circle at the bottom of your screen followed by a cat emote waving hi.

( kaito ✮ )

hiii : D

i added you back earlier btw i dunno why you left but it was probably an accident right??

wait sorry did i wake u up

mb 💔💔

( Lucas Errant )

I suppose it is a bit strange, yes? My conversation with Kaito must have made me lose track of time haha

( #1 peekaboo fan )

yeah you're usually knocked out lol and dw kaito i was already awake : )

( kaito ✮ )

ohh ok lol

i can't sleep either

( Lucas Errant )

You can't? I thought you said you were going to sleep because I was boring you.

( #1 peekaboo fan )

lmao

( kaito ✮ )

bro you were talking about fun facts and shi

ofc i was nodding off

( Lucas Errant )

My apologies. I assumed because of your life at home you'd be interested in it.

( kaito ✮ )

no not really

( #1 peekaboo fan )

wdym?

( kaito ✮ )

he was telling me about farm life as if i didn't get enough of that at home

( #1 peekaboo fan )

wait you grew up on a farm!?

( Lucas Errant )

I'm really interested in the culture. In the U.K I took horseback riding lessons but I've never seen any other farm animals in person.

( #1 peekaboo fan )

ooo that does sound fun

pigs are really cute

( kaito ✮ )

bruh

you would take horseback riding lessons

( #1 peekaboo fan )

you didn't like it there?

( kaito ✮ )

i mean... i liked being able to help my grams.

she's older so she needs that support

but in any other scenario??

nobody is getting that muddy for free

like you won't say that when you have a bull sprinting at you full speed

( #1 peekaboo )

this visual... 💀

( kaito ✮ )

bro 😭

( #1 peekaboo fan )

nah but fr

luca if ur interested you should volunteer at jabberwock

it's not the same but it's close

haru could use the extra help

( Lucas Errant )

Working with anamolous creatures would be an interesting learning experience. I'm not familiar so one day if you're free?

( kaito ✮ )

wait

( #1 peekaboo fan )

YESS

i'll show you everything i know ^_^

( kaito ✮ )

just the two of you?

( Lucas Errant )

I'm glad! I'll be available tomorrow during advisory. We have the same class right?

( #1 peekaboo fan )

yeah I'll meet u and we can go from there!

it's a date :3

( kaito ✮ )

WHAT

( #1 peekaboo fan )

u coming with?

( kaito ✮ )

yeah I'll come

( Lucas Errant )

I do worry if this is suited for you Kaito, but if you feel up to it I won't stop you.

( #1 peekaboo fan )

yea u don't like getting dirty right? you don't have to if you don't wanna

( kaito ✮ )

no it's fine i'll just try not to get anything on my uniform and

...keep an eye on him

( #1 peekaboo fan )

what

( kaito ✮ )

nothing.

( #1 peekaboo fan )

right so

see y'all tomorrow

im gonna go to bed

( Lucas Errant )

Yes, me as well. I wish both of you a good night's rest.

( #1 peekaboo fan )

seriously get sleep kai or im going to get you

( kaito ✮ )

promise? 😳

JK JK

gn

an emote of a cat waving goodbye signifies the end of the conversation. that's that you suppose. haru wouldn't mind right? he did really need the help. he's impressively good at what he does but you can't help but feel that he overexerts himself. maybe before you go you should text him to—

"meoww!!"

you nearly jump out of your skin. below you a soft yet prickly sensation is revealed to be a cat, pawing at your leg. the cute little thing is an orange cat with light spots along it's body and tail. as soon as your attention is fully away from your phone it jumps on your leg making you laugh.

it makes no complaints as you scoop it into your arms and cradle it close. it's a bit surprising to see one of the campus cats being so cuddly. they're friendly but very independent as chancellor cornelius had said. most of them don't linger for long, always busy with something else. this one is is a bit smaller though so maybe it was still new to the school.

the vibrant orange of it's coat of fur is reminiscent of the cat who fixed your window. where did that one go off too?

you finally lay down for the night. the warmth from your new companion lulling you to sleep as he settled on top of your chest.

in the morning you'd call haru to let him know you'd found some extra help.

[mobbu-min]

☆ Pretty Boy ☆

(ft. the first years + cater, floyd & silver)

requested by anon: I just read your headcanons of reader calling the housewardens pretty and was wondering if you could do it for the vice housewardens or maybe first years?

Ok I adore the pretty boy hcs!!!! Cld I request the same concept with the remaining students? @f4ngt4stic

a/n: idk what i was on while writing these, but these definitely came out...a little different??? just a psa, drink responsibly. floyds and jacks came out kinda poopy tbh :/ can't figure out how to write them

!tw! insecurities, grammar mistakes, once again my poor attempt at a southern accent, ummmm im forgetting something but idk

want more? check these out!

⋆ pretty boy: 1, 2

⋆ cat, kitty, cat! 1, 2, 3

Ace Trappola <3

⋆ Way too smug for a guy that passed out.

⋆ Brags about it to anyone that will listen, no scratch that, he’s screaming all across campus. Everyone knows No ones exempt.. This bitch wrote an entire essay on it and fills every box with ‘prefect this im pretty’ and ‘haha, fuck you deuce’.

⋆ This is a big win for him. So big that he makes a toast to it in the next unbirthday party, so big that you’re permanently embarrassed and quickly regretting ever saying anything and Ace is sitting all pretty with a collar around his neck. But hey, at least he gets to sit next to you.

⋆ Ace teases the hell out of you. Anytime you scold him, he’ll give you puppy dog eyes and pout and say ‘dont be mawd, pwefect, aren’t I your pwetty boi???’ and shit like that. It’s annoying, but great sevens does it work everytime.

⋆ Until the time it gets you in trouble during class and placed in detention, and you quickly find yourself and Cater looking up Ace’s old magicam posts as blackmail and it’s juicy, (probably posted stuff from musically(or would it be called magically?) and his name was probably like @/swaggyboi420)

⋆ Ace is so insufferable that he practically gives himself away. There’s been too many times where he unknowingly admits to how much he likes you. And with the luck of the Shroud brothers, you’ve managed to get it all on tape/recorded.

⋆ He may be an ass, but he’s a pure dumbass, remember that.

"I don’t know why you said my name so confidently, Prefect. It’s like you haven’t looked in the mirror, pssh~ …why are you smiling like that? …Huh?...I-i didn’t mean it like that! No way! Hey! Stop looking at me that way!"

Deuce Spade <3

⋆ A complete spluttering mess. 

⋆ No amount of consoling will allow Deuce to calm the red that has now made its home on his face. Trey is incredibly worried, instantly taking out a thermometer and making soup. Cater is magicamming it, obvi, Ace is a pain in the ass and already knows what’s going on (will not admit that he’s jealous as hell) and Riddle is regretting ever becoming the housewarden. 

⋆ Deuce is so shy about it, so flustered and embarrassed that he literally squeaks the next time you make eye contact with him. The last person to call him pretty was his mom. His mom. 

⋆ So it's safe to say, Deuce isn’t being called pretty very often (up until he meets me and that’s all he ever hears coming out of my big ass mouth)

⋆ It’s different. The meanings behind when his mom called him pretty and you is like water and oil, fire and ice, Riddle and Leona. Completely opposite. 

⋆ On one hand, he’s bashfully annoyed when his mom coos at how pretty he is, littering his soft cheeks with a flurry of kisses. A type of love only able to be felt by a mother such as his. He’s content, satisfied that his mom loves him so much despite his shortcomings, incredibly grateful. 

⋆ And on the other hand, he’s a nervous mess. Sweat accumulating at his brows and pretty pink lips pursed into a taunt frown to stop his lips from melting into a sweet, lovesick smile. The feeling he feels isn’t familiar, it’s different. It feels like he’s been hit by a bus and instead of feeling pure and utter pain, he feels himself exploding into a billion butterflies. 

⋆ At least that’s what he feels like on the inside, on the outside he’s a blushing stuttering mess holding a shaky bouquet of red and pink roses up in your face. 

⋆ Please, be easy on him. 

“Umm….I know I’m not the best with words and I really can’t afford to mess this up, but I need you to know that I think you're pretty too!!! Almost as pretty as these flow-wait! No! I-i mean even more pretty! Yeah! Like 1000000000000000x prettier!...sorry, I wanted this to smoo-huh? You’re laughing? Hehehe, I guess it was pretty funny!”

Cater Diamond <3

⋆ No longer is he @/caycay anymore but he’s upgraded! Everyone add him @/prettycaycay instead!

⋆ So happy, sososo very happy. Instantly glops you in a hug and exclaims it's all in the skincare. Cater wants to twirl you around and give you a big ol’ kiss on your lips. But alas, he needs to have more class!

⋆ Cater’s used to being called pretty, but from you, it’s a totally different thing. To him it means more, there's so much more meaning behind your words and hits him totally different. It builds up his confidence. 

⋆ I like to think, Cater’s secretly self conscious when it comes to his relationship with you. You’re surrounded by great and powerful mages every single day, not to mention down right attractive. That he feels a little insignificant in the great schemes of things. He want to be the person that sweeps you off your feet, he wants to be the person that instantly catches your eyes, he want to be the last person you think about the moment you close your eyes and first when you awake. 

⋆ Cater wants to be your person. 

⋆ And he is. 

⋆ And Cater’s never been so happy.

"Heya, Prefect! Wanna go slay another photoshoot with me?...(sigh) I can’t say that, that’s tots lame! Oh, (name), the things you do poor little me."

Jack Howl <3

⋆ He wants to be offended, but the stupid wagging of his tail betrays him. For once, he’s annoyed at being a beastman. 

⋆ Jack is a little weird about it. Never in his entire existence (ooo 16 years, wooowww soo looong) has he been called pretty. PReTTY?! No way in hell. 

⋆ Does he prefer if you called him something else, like idk, handsome? Ruggedly attractive? A total beefcake? (not really, but really) yes, of course.

⋆ But yet again, this is you that we’re talking about and everything applies differently to you. 

⋆ Jack finds himself taking extra care in his appearance, as in hair and skin routine. Making sure he doesn’t smell bad or clothes looks stanky. Jack even went to Vil for tips and tricks. You found him pretty, so Jack went to the prettiest person he knows (besides you ofc) to make sure he stays that way. 

⋆ Everytime, he sees you, his tail is wagging so fast that you’re afraid he might start flying away. 

⋆ He’s clueless about everything romance, so please, everyone, send your thoughts and money to Jack’s ‘Help him find love’ gofundme page. 

"Ah, I didn’t expect to see you so soon. But I’m glad you're here, I was hoping you’d help me? I need help watering- excuse me, I can’t really control my tail right now."

Floyd Leech <3

⋆ Run and never look back!

⋆ Jk, but really you should really look into some health insurance. 

⋆ Over the moon about, might go super tuna on you, shrimpy. 

⋆ Loves to know that he’s your pretty boy. When he’s having a bad day, he hears your voice in his head and instantly calms down and gets to squishing people with a warm smile. (how cute)

⋆ Does use it against you and doesn’t care if you get embarrassed, if anything that fuels him to up the teasing. Floyd doesn’t mind calling you pretty back, if anything, your little compliment gives him the boost to make sure you know that he’s yours and your his. 

⋆ He’s lowkey possessive, so he does bite you. Like your hand, fyi, to show others that he called dibs. Encourages you to bite him back, and will proudly display his mark. 

⋆ Writes ‘Pretty Shrimpy’ on your bite and ‘Pretty boy’ on his. 

⋆ It’s so romantic, isn’t it???

"Why are you swatting me away??? I just wanna be held by my Pretty Shrimpy~ Don’t deny your loving Pretty boy~ I just wanna squeeze all my love into you!”

Epel Felmier <3

⋆ HOW DARES SOMEONE CALL THEE EPEL FELIMER, THE ROUGHEST, TOUGHEST COUNTRY BOY TO EVER EXIST A ‘PRETTY BOY’!?!!?!?!??!?!?!?

⋆ (bingbing bingbing) excuse me, as I take this call…yeah, it’s me…uh-huh…mhmm…i see…okay, i’ll tell him, thank you…yup, see you soon, love ya..(cling-clack) ahem, EPEL!!!!! YOU BETTER OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES!!! YOUR NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHO JUST SAID IT! Um, why do you have a pitchfork?

⋆ Instantly falls down and cries. Anyone that passes by is incredibly confused and concerned. He too is incredibly confused.

⋆ Should he be sad? Mad? Incredibly grateful? Should he call his meemaw next? What should he do!?!??!?!?!??!?

⋆ The person he likes just called him pretty. Again, you just called him pretty. 

⋆ Vil told him that is one of the highest compliments he can get, but that’s coming from Vil’s mouth, so it holds little value to him. Epel wants to be handsome in your eyes! Not pretty!

⋆ Epel, actually, talks about it to Leona, surprisingly enough. Who, for once in his life, gives some really good advice. Leona doesn't really know what to say, but Vil’s protege came to him and Leonas not about to miss this once and a lifetime opportunity. 

⋆ Now is the advice useful? Ya, but is it good? …it’s questionable at best.

⋆ You're basically shoved against the wall and a good ol’ classic kadobon is used! Basically securing your attention. 

⋆ Now again, it’s useful, but also not good. Surprisingly, Epel is pretty strong, afterall helping around the farm isn’t easy work (this is coming from someone forced to help around the farm, yes I am from the country, but not the country you're thinking of…probably) and this is where the problem arises. 

⋆ Epel may have shoved and I mean shoved, like running from a distance and just body slamming you into the wall and now half of your allowance is now going to patch up the dent in the wall. 

⋆ Epel thought he killed you. You thought you died and Grim’s worried about who’s gonna feed him! See the problems that arise when taking advice from Leona! 

⋆ Either way, Epel does get a date with you, if you count a date being an injured prefect and a sad farmer boy eating pb&j sandwiches in the infirmary room. (and yes, grim’s there and won’t shut up about it)

“(munch munch munch) Ya know, these ain’t too bad. (munch munch munch) Ermmm, ahem, I hope this ain’t too soon, but ya real pretty too….um, I’ll get some fancy ointment from Vil for ya-er..bump? Bruise? (awkward munching) Do you want some juice?”

Silver <3

⋆ Takes a moment to process what exactly you just said. He blinks, lets out a little yawn, rubs his eyes and then….BAM!!!!

⋆ His pretty auroral eyes are wide with shock. Pretty snow white lashes flutter as softly as a butterfly flutters its wings. A gradient of pinks and red dusts his ears, checks and nose  Pretty rose pink lips agape in shock letting the softest of gasps leave his lips.

⋆ Ugh, pretty pretty boy who's somehow shocked he's considered pretty???? Like, hunny, you're literally considered the prettiest boy in the whole school???? Like make it makes sense.

⋆ Silver is so bashful about it. Shyly meeting your gaze the next time you meet. It’s adorable, that you're the one blushing. 

⋆ It reminds of the romance stories Lilia used to tell him. The girl overheard the boy confessing his feelings for him and growing flustered and falling deeper in love. But instead, he’s the girl, who’s falling deeper and deeper in love with you and a flustered mess, and instead of a confession, you just said that you found him to be the prettiest boy in the whole world. 

⋆ It’s a little different, but Silver’s a mess either way. 

“I know I’m not the best company. I know I fall asleep constantly or am always attending to Malleus, however, I hope you understand that your company is the highlight of my day. Is it selfish, if I ask for more?”

Sebek Zigvolt <3

⋆ HUMAN!? HOW DARE YOU NOT SAY WAKA-SAMA!!! ARE YOU BLIND?!?!?!?!?!?!?

⋆ Literally takes him a whole ass day to realize that you said him. He’s so caught up that you didn’t say ‘Oh Great Lord Malleus Draconia’. He is truly the biggest simp you’ve ever known.

⋆ But when his mind finally catches up, man’s a whole ass tomato. Steams coming from his ears and he lets out the loudest, most inhumane, scream known to man, (if you’ve read pt 1, it’s more terrifying than idia’s because it sounds straight from some horror movie and if you haven’t read it, what are you doing here! Go read it bestie!)

⋆ Oh, Sebek, poor little Sebek. You are truly the densest person ever. He’s in full denial. Because one, how could you say him instead of Waka-sama, two, why did you say him!? And three, why does his heart feel like it's about to burst?\

⋆ He goes to Lilia, because Sebek does not know how to deal with it himself. And Lilia, being the great mentor he is, says you’ve cursed him and the best way to break the curse is to spend the week following after you and treating you like royalty!

⋆ And while Sebek really doesn’t (and I mean really doesn’t) want to leave his duties, it must be done! If he dies early, then who will protect Malleus and who will make sure you’re not surrounded by morons all the time?!

⋆ So for the next week, you're followed by a red-faced Sebek like a little puppy. You're confused, but eventually forget about it because it’s not the weirdest thing that has happened. And as for Sebek, this boy is going through it!

⋆ His poor heart can’t handle another hit from your sweet laughter or soft smiles. His face feels like it’s permanently been hit by the sun. He really doesn’t understand what’s wrong and by the end of the week, when the curse was supposed to be ‘broken’ Sebek explodes. He literally feeling vomited all over you. Saying how could you off all people make his heart swoon and face red. How you keep him up at night, how he looks forward to seeing you. And omg, how he misses you! He’s a mess, this is a mess, and the poor baby really just doesn’t understand.

⋆ Be gentle, Sebek does care for you, he’s just too much of an idiot to admit and realize it.

“PREFECT! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS FEELING THAT ARISES WHENEVER YOU ARE NEAR! IT’S AS IF MY HEART DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE! I LOSE ALL FOCUS WHEN YOU’RE NEAR! TELL ME, HAVE YOU BEWITCHED ME!”

[ashtxeman]

WHY I LIKE GLASS JOE A LOT

I promised a lot of information about why I like Glass Joe so I wrote this in an hour with no plan, no proof reading, completely improvised. If I planned this it would probably be WAY longer lol but I'll spare you all the pain of that. SO. ENJOY MY REASONING.

Glass Joe. Glass Joseph. Fragile Joey. It’s a name that’s been uttered for centuries in many different forms, given many different explanations. Critics, theorists, philosophers alike have carved away at their lives trying to solve the answer to the universe's greatest question. And that is:

Glass Joe, good why?

I can answer that, absolutely.

HEY I LOVE GLASS JOE A LOT IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT ALREADY JUST GOTTA ESTABLISH THAT HAHAHA OKAY LETS GO. SHOUTOUT TO THE FUCKING RTGAME PUNCHOUT VIDEO YOU DID THIS TO ME.

POINT 1: HE IS HANDSOME.

I swear to God this man was hand-crafted by the hands of an incomprehensible deity because HOW is he this flawless. He’s 5’10, great height honestly I’m 5’3 I don’t want to be dating a skyscraper you know. He’s a skinny bastard but that’s okay, more on that later. His hair, oh my goodness gracious, lord above, help me Jesus. HIS HAIR. IS SO GOOD. If you put that skateboard ramp ass hairstyle on literally any other character they would look like a dumbass, but here, on this man alone, it’s the most delicately poised series of ginger strands I ever did see.

His hair looks SO soft. It’s unbelievable. It’s such a lovely shade of auburn with hints of burgundy. It must smell like cinnamon. He must take great care of it. A real Head and Shoulders, coconut oil, double wash kinda guy. A real bougie kinda guy. Yeah he’s not great physically in SPORT terms but in PUBLIC terms he’s absolutely stunning and stronger than anybody else. I wanna run my fingers through his silky locks so bad it’s insane and to understand this desire I’ll have to be strapped down and operated on. DONATE MY BRAIN TO SCIENCE GO AHEAD. THEY NEED IT. 

Not to mention it is SO fun to draw. SO SO SO FUN. Maybe I’m just lucky it’s such a wacky and dynamic hairstyle it transfers quite well into my artstyle, but it’s so fun. It’s easy, it’s fast, it creates an absolutely iconic silhouette, I love colouring it because it’s so damn pretty and ginger/red is such a broad colour scheme that can be put into a gradient so well (i love doing gradients with hair cause i hate when its just a block of colour). Nobody could understand the sheer joy i get putting that dumbass ahoge between the bridge of his fringe and the rest of his hair. That little ‘ right at the top ITS SO FUN. i love him his hair is great.

His face. Carved like the works of the finest artest. He’s a canvas of quality that can rival Van Gogh, for god sake. He’s got the jawline of a man on a lifelong mewing streak, STOP IT HE’S SO GORGEOUS I CANT EVENNNN. He is seriously so good looking. His eyes, the little pink-tinted eyebags that show he doesn’t need sleep because he’s so hardcore on caffeine, his gorgeous big ol nose i wanna kiss so bad, his super dynamic chin i wanna kiss so bad, his face i wanna kiss so bad. I wanna kiss him so bad. He is genuinely such a beautiful man its stunning, im literally a lesbian but if they somehow brought glass joe into the real world looking exactly how he does in those GOD DAMN CUTSCENES OOOOO i’d be bisexual so fast it’s crazy. He’s just that great. He’s got that power. I love his nervous little grin and the little creases on his face, cause he’s OLD AND SENILE. He’s 38 for god sake he shouldn’t look this good and sure, you can see his age slipping in a little with the eyebags and the wrinkles but that only ADDS to how stupidly divine he is in appearance. Stop that handsome man officer!! He’s breaking the laws of BEAUTY. GIVE IT TO MEEEEE. MEEEE.

His fashion sense although odd (ive never actually seen anyone wearing red trousers) just works. It wouldnt work on anyone else but it works on HIM. this is a theme. THINGS DONT WORK ON OTHER PEOPLE BUT THEY WORK ON JOE HE’S SO COOL LIKE THAT. his turtleneck kills me its so good it highlights what little figure he has and it contrasts his red hair so well cause its a really deep blue. SIGH. i wish. I have a turtleneck thats exactly the same but let me tell you i dont even breath the same air of fashion that he breathes. He’s so far ahead of the game he’s on an entirely different runway. He is not gonna sashay away anytime soon. On a constant shante. Unstoppable.

POINT 2: HE EMBODIES HIS CULTURE WELL.

Cats out of the bag, joe is a french stereotype. But. and dont quote me here. I find it very admirable HOW he is a french stereotype. Because he kind of.. Isn’t? He uses the characteristics of that stereotype sure, but he doesn’t engage with them the same way an actual french stereotype would. He likes coffee, he likes bread, he loves France like its his child, sure. But he doesnt have a twirly moustache, he doesnt wear a beret, he doesnt galavant around in black and white mime clothing. Even if that would be funny yknow it just wouldnt be as good. 

His admiration of coffee and bread is so relatable cause hell, I LIKE BREAD AND CAFES AND STUFF! He needs that coffee to keep him going you dont understand. If he misses a dose of caffeine he’ll deflate like the pyramids did in despicable me 1. He’ll be a puddle on the floor, he’ll quite literally cease to exist. Coffee is his golden idol, his hand of midas, his treasure. He has great willpower (more on that later) but coffee is that secret weapon he uses to push him just a little bit further. Plus he just thinks it tastes good and is happy to express that, you cant blame the guy for that. A good drink is a good drink. Even though i dont like coffee he’s so happy with it i respect it. He makes things i dont like respectable. Thats whats so real to me. What a goat. As for bread, bread is just great. Baguettes are yum. All the french bread i know about is usually close to white bread and autism behold thats like the only bread i can bear to eat so its alright with me man. You can go to joes house and he will have one of those fancy bread cupboards. He’ll pull out baguettes like he’s at a renaissance fair and they have a sword shortage. He’s on the case. You will NOT leave his house on an empty stomach. Like a very caring grandma, he will get you fed with the most immaculate 5 star meal you ever did eat. French food is great and theres no doubt about that, thats why he loves FOOD. I TRUST HIM. HE KNOWS WHATS GOOD. if mr glass joe turned around to me and said ‘broken glass is good food’ you bet your ass id be smashing windows and munch munch crunching all day long. 

Maybe his admiration of his country is a little over the top to some. You know the french landmarks in the back of his cutscenes, the ‘vive le france’ and singing the national anthem. But no. i dont think its excessive, i think its passionate. This is undeniably a man that is SO passionate about his culture and the lifestyle he’s grown up around, he’s not afraid to express it to other people until they cant stand it anymore. He’ll take as many hits as he needs to in the name of france. He is an embodiment of everything endearing about being foreign, honestly. An extreme love for the things his country has: food, landmarks, fashion, language, culture. EVERYTHING IS ON HIS LIST. NOTHING IS LEFT OUT. HE LOVES FRANCE AND I LOVE HIM. YES SIR!! VIVE LE FRANCE!! YES!!! 

Also he single-handedly convinced me to start learning french. I seriously didnt care about it before but after i started to like him more and really get into punchout i downloaded duolingo and i still have a streak going AND im actually convinced to try hard in my french lessons and exams because yknow.. I want this fictional french guy to be proud of me. :] 

POINT 3: HE IS DETERMINED.

OHHHHHH BOY. okay right im gonna get inspirational here. Play some dramatic orchestral music or something. 

The thing about Glass Joe is that he never. Gives up. Never. There is nothing in the world you could do to this man that could possibly stop him from boxing. They call Kaiser a fighting machine but boy have they not seen Joe. once that man stepped into the ring for the first time, he’d found a second home, and i think thats evident. 100 times this man has fallen down, brushed it off and gotten right back up. He’s had hardships, ups, downs, tumbles, falls. But everytime, no matter what, he’s back on his feet and ready to try again. And there is something so admirable and inspirational about that kind of approach being written into a CHARACTER THAT IS MEANT TO BE A FRENCH STEREOTYPE. ‘GHHHH FRENCH PEOPLE ALWAYS SURRENDER ACSHUALLY’ SHUT UP!! NOT THIS ONE!! I like to think Joe’s motto is ‘never surrender’. Yes he’s a little self aware how ironic it is thats hes french and doing all this but shhh. He knows whats hes doing and he’s happy to do it. Because like ive said again and again, theres nothing that can stop him. 100 kos, 200 kos, 300, 400… you keep cranking that number up and he’ll keep cranking the punches. Keep those lights up, keep those gloves on, you knock Joe down and eventually, no matter how long it takes, he’s back for more.

Now dont misinterpret that, he’s not a masochist like aran ryan, no sir-ee. He doesnt enjoy losing, nobody does. But the thing is he pushes past that disappointment and those hardships because he knows that eventually, if he keeps on going, things are going to change. He knows that if he lays down the gloves and walks away, there’s no possibility of succeeding. You could drop Joe off on the other side of the world and just like that immortal snail, he’s gonna find a way back. Even if it takes forever. Cause he is weak but determined, he isn’t threatening but relentless, he is stoppable but unstoppable. Glass joe has the strongest will out of any character i know. Cause if any of my other favourites went through 100 whopping losses like he did, they’d retire on a tropical island and never interact with the world again. But not joe. Never joe. My king.

POINT 4: HE IS ENDEARING.

THIS GUY IS SO DAMN CHARMING IT MAKES ME WANT TO EXPLODE INTO CONFETTI AND GLITTER AGHHHHH.

Come on. How can you look at his smile, his lovely little, subtle smile with those shy old eyes, and not immediately fall in love with him. He’s got some many little subtle things. Like the way his pupils dart around or his little sway back and forth when he’s knocked out or the way he bounds back and forth on his legs like an old-timey guy about to have a squabble. The way his mouth goes :0 so very subtly when he’s breathing. The way he always looks either shocked beyond repair, completely zooted or very confused. It’s all so perfect. IT’S ALL THESE THINGS THEY MAKE HIM BRILLIANT.

Im seriously looking for scraps here but i love finding meaning in otherwise meaningless things. I love analysing every detail until there is literally nothing else i could possibly say about it. He is perfect for this.

His fucking VOICE. OHHH MY GOD. it was so damn funny the very first time i heard his voice, because honestly it feels deliberate how they put his humble cutscenes before his first bit of dialogue so you expect this soft-spoken kinda light-voiced french guy only to be greeted with CHRISTIAN BERNARD’S DEEP ASS VOICE. OHHH KILL ME HE SOUNDS SO HANDSOME I WANNA SINK INTO THE FLOOR AND CRY WITH JOY. i wouldnt even mind if he was a soft-spoken light-voiced french guy but they really had to amp it up a little and give this lowly frenchman the most eloquent unnecessarily deep and silky voice ever. HE DIDNT NEED THAT. BUT THANK YOU FOR GIVING HIM THAT NINTENDO CAUSE ITS ONE OF HIS GREATEST QUALITIES. Plus french is just a really fun language to listen to. I could honestly sit listening to joe’s voicelines on repeat for hours on end and be fine with it. They’re so good. He’s so beautiful sounding. Its absolutely hilarious considering his voice in comparison to appearance. COME ON!!! AAHAHHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHAGHGHS I LOVE CHRISTIAN BERNARDS VOICE I WISH I COULD HEAR HIM SPEAK IN ENGLISH. I NEED MORE OF HIS VOICE. AGGGGGHHHHH. 

POINT 5: WHATEVER ELSE

I erm i erm i just wanna say i love joe so much. The way he’s constructed, appearance, personality, physicality, dialogue, culture inspiration, story. EVERYTHING about him is just so cool and fun to think about and in my head it all weaves perfectly together to create the best character in all of fiction. It has now been over 2 unapologetic years of me yapping on about this guy. Whether it be his canon self and the things he does or the fanon version of him thats ive sourced from other peoples awesome HC’s or forged from my own lore. Any excuse i get, i talk about joe. Because it is so utterly fun. Yeah, he’s not the only boxer i love!!! Not at all!! I have several other favourites persay, but on the punch-out tier list joe is so good he has his own category thats about 4 ranks higher than what S rank is. And that is deserved. 

He loves his culture, he never gives up, he’s arguably a weakling and an absolute screwup but he never lets that get in his way because of her persistent he is, he’s gorgeous, he’s cool, he’d be a great friend, dad, boyfriend, husband, EVERYTHING. He’s got a weird hairstyle and weird fashion sense but somehow he looks great with it. He beat NICK BRUISER CANONICALLY?!?! He’s french, he’s ginger, which in a joking sense makes him the worst but against all odds he is the best. The french are lucky to be represented by him because he’s so utterly and unapologetically awesome and cool and fun and nice and inspiring and all that jazz. There is not a single thing that could stray me away from the path of Joe. my lore for him is SO deep. My admiration for him is INFINITE. Ive read through his wiki a pagillion times. Ive beaten him over 80 times in-game simple because i like seeing him so much and.

Well. i have entire shrine dedicated to him. let me know if you wanna see that....

[stonerzelda]

👋heyy, so lil update: i've decided I'm going on hiatus indefinitely. Not sure for how long but basically i got some shit to sort out ive been ignoring for a long time and using this site to distract myself instead of doing anything abt it is naught cutting it ennymore luv xx~ ill see u when i see u, but goodbuhbuh 4 now <3

(long ass explanation under the cut lol, dont feel obligated 2 read it its just me bitching so scroll past if u want its all good)

So. Take this with a grain of salt, as i am a little bitch and refuse to ever go to the hospital/ to psychologists whether im bleeding out or what. But as it turns out, what i've been experiencing lately can technically be classified as a nervous breakdown. I'm 98% sure ive got PTSD from my ex + the utter bullshit my own family decided to throw at me during the same time i needed them, and for whatever reason, it's all culminating now despite dealing with this decline since 2016. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I have so much rage and grief that i can't be alone without the same memories completely destroying me and now im having consistent panic attacks that are so extreme i legitimately believe i'm dying at Least 3-5 times a day.

Considering my coping habits have been binge drinking and drug use for the last 3 years it makes sense that my body is finally saying fuck you now, so at this point I can no longer justify subjecting my friends to my own dumbass trauma on my cringe sideblog and call that coping lol. I need to step away and make some serious lifestyle changes and Im hoping not allowing myself to use this site as a distraction instead of dealing with my bullshit head on will make a difference.

TL/DR, shits in shambles and i need 2 grow tf up and deal with it instead of continuing to ignore it and tell myself im fine. Cuz im really not lol -_-

Idk how long im going on hiatus but after 2 whole days (wow ikr) of being gone ive already started to attempt to make myself participate in society again, n ive applied to a few jobs so. Heres hopin lol, it's a start🤞

Ily mewchies and blease nobody worry like i know this probably comes off as a pity party but im just trying to be responsible for Once , again im probably gonna be back sooner rather than later but i can't say for sure at the moment. Ill be back to being annoying as fuck on the dash soon i prommy <3 luv yous and c u soon <3

[quirkle2]

if you want a distraction-

favorite wars and twi hc moments?

like, maybe it hasn't been written yet by anyone, but your favorite moments of those two?

HMMMMMS,,,

i think i've mentioned it but im a big fan of them Bein Bros. classic sibling rivalry where they push each other into mud puddles and call each other dums dums (wars is several years older than him, a grown ass man, saying the words "dum dum." twi has no problem lowering himself to that level too honestly) but then will literally lie their own lives down for each other

they roughhouse a lot. twi lightly kicks him in the shins during an Important Team Meeting and they both completely fucking devolve into a shoving match until time has to stare at them like a disappointed teacher waiting for his classmates to be quiet

it's all lighthearted, of course. they love and care for each other dearly. their brand of bickering is somehow much different from wars' and legend's. can't rly describe it well, but the best i can do is that ledge and wars' bickering evolved like: idiot /petty -> dumbass /friendly -> utter fucking buffoon /affection. meanwhile wars' and twi's bickering is more like: hey NUTHEAD dinner's ready. hate you btw /lie . if u even care. oh also do u wanna see this cool new thing i bought. i got ur favorite milkshake while i was in town

they will go from trying to kill each other (affectionately) to sitting by the fire and infodumping to each other abt their special interests within minutes

also big fan of them finding differences between their lifestyles. wars is a city boy and twi is country, so they often have very different experiences. they're walkin in the woods and wars freezes and lightly slaps his arm to get his attention. twi looks over and just sees a turkey walkin around. "literally what is that. twi. twi" "it's a fucking turkey get it together"

it might seem like they're terrible at working together but they are Not they r excellent and when it's serious and dire they will both switch to No Bickering Mode and Cooperate. they're mature enough to know the time and place for it. my version of twi mainly uses a crossbow, and wars teaming up w somebody who's long-range and a damn good shot produces some devastating circumstances for the enemy

twi genuinely trusts wars a lot, and vise versa. he can tell wars puts a lot of faith in his abilities, but he also very obviously believes in twi's judgement, and that's . big. he Appreciates that. especially since twi is younger and kind of assumes wars would think he's less capable of making decisions due to much less experience. wars doesn't think that at all, and he Shows it when he actually asks twi for input sometimes, wanting a different perspective he trusts

they both have a Big Brother Instinct when it comes to the younger members of the chain and they Will team up to make sure the others r physically and mentally okay. if some big battle happens that might've mentally Fucked somebody up, they—along w sky usually—become the mother hens and oh so very gently care for the others

it seems like time would hesitate to leave twi and wars w any of the more chaotic younger members, given the fact that twi and wars Both can be absolutely fucking crazy themselves, but time actually puts a Lot of faith in them. he knows that while they both can do batshit things and create a lot of mayhem, they Both also have a very responsible side. wars is a captain and twi's entire game revolves around responsibility, and they both know when to dial it back if it gets too hectic or dangerous. time genuinely believes that if he partners any of the others w the combination of twi and wars, very few things could ever bring any of them harm

[anonbinaryweirdo]

hm, im not quite sure. do whatever, just entertain me.

-⭐️

oh, but you see

I can't do such things if you aren't specific, unfortunately, I'm a complete and utter dumbass, who needs specification after every sentence she hears <//3

[asoutherngothic]

It has only taken me until I was old enough to realize Dumbledore is a complete utter piece of shit. This man, literally gathered child soldiers to fight off a grown man who was very experience in dark magic to fight for me, while he say his dusty old ass in his office. Probably knowing all their fates and outcomes, probably heard their prophecies and did absolutely nothing to help. And when they all died, went into hiding and or suffered tragically. Decided to get another generation of CHILD soldiers to fight the same GROWN man(nasty snake fucker) and GROWN death eaters, while he still sat his dusty ass in his office until he wanted the spotlight. This man gaslighted a child to do his dirty work; knew said child was living under stairs and being abused and neglected, did absolutely nothing to help him. The same man people “CLAIMED” to be the most “POWERFUL WIZARD” in the world, yet he couldn’t get his ass up, change destiny, save a child from his shitty future and give others a chance at a happy life, kill Voldemort. Voldemort who is as useless as a damn turtle, couldn’t kill a defenseless baby. He depends on magic so damn much, if you put a banana in front of him, he’d have no idea who to peel it. Yet this man who is “CLAIMED” to be the most “POWERFUL DARK WIZARD” in the world, got bodied by HIS own fucking spell. Honestly, he could have just stabbed the little shit. And yes I say little shit because Potter pissed me the fuck of sometimes with his hero complex. I can not believe a fan fiction I’m reading got me this heated. And don’t get me started on a fan fiction I was reading where the girl has the brain cell of Crabbe and Goyle. She never listened, even when people tried to warn her and all she cared about for her love for Neville, yet got caught by Deatheaters THREE TIMES, because she wanted to feel included when she knew they were after her dumb ass. Remus told her to stay home, but nooooooo “I wanna be there when you bring Potter to the safe house” dumbass, and don’t get me started when the trio were being absolute filth to her and she forgave them in two seconds. I’ve never known an OC to piss me off so much, that I nearly broke my phone. I’m not readi- actually I’m gonna finish reading it since it’s at the war part, but Merlin do I hope she gain some brain cells. FUCKING HELL!!!

Im done now.

[myobmaya]

what is it with you, and don’t get me wrong i love it, that you have to write eddie a complete and utter douchebag?? like an absolutely terrible man that should be kicked in the balls to make sure his bloodline ends right then and there and a man who should get hit by a car a couple times because he’ll somehow survive the first couple but no you gotta make sure you really speed it up yk? anyways you make me hate him and i love you for that🙏do i still wanna bang him? absolutely, no doubt about it. id do it in a heartbeat🙄anyway the way you write him is just so funny and entertaining and not funny like haha this sucks, funny like oh my god he did not just do that dumbass thing or say that…would still blow him tho😶sorry jesus

IM—

this is literally one of the best messages I’ve ever gotten

[melodythemaybegorl]

✨ Fuck Off You Stupidass Piece of Shit ✨

Warning: extremely long vent post ahead with All of the swearing

Context: i went on a camping trip a month agoish, it was great, would do again. ~However~ when i went on the annual nature hike walk Thing. i happened to ya know, over work my very poor body. Especially my legs, seeing as how my right (& left) knee likes to just Ya Know, be in various amounts of pain randomly when it decides I've 'overworked' it again.

Unfortunately for my mental health my brain Needs to daydream in order to Process Shit™️ subconsciously. Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal if i could do that while reading, playing a video game or some other activity. Sadly only stuff i can do on auto pilot counts for Day Dreaming Time which for me personally includes the following: walking/pacing, swinging on a swing set/similar playground equipment on and eating. (sometimes) Theoretically i could do so while sitting still but uhm, i kinda need something more engaging then That

Which again leaves us to my Knee Problem, seeing as my preferred method out of all of these is swinging/waling around without feeling like a tiger in a Fuckin cage. (sorry but im feeling extremely frustrated by this) Seeing as it's been a month tho my leg is (mostly) fine. Which means I'm able to walk to the nearby park & swing away until my body physically tells me to get the fuck off.

Again not that bad, UNFORTUNATELY seeing as I'm fairly young with zero self defense training aside from the instinct to kick a bitch like a donkey I'm not allowed to walk around after dark, (extremely reasonable i agree completely) but i happened to reach my brain's internal storage of shit until it feels like it needs to take a step back & process... which it can't do until i walk. which I can't do because it is Night Time and even Then my knee is fuckin complaining. This means I'm very very frustrated & more than a little mad. Seeing as how my brain is sending "Go Touch Grass" while body is going "madam we woke up at 6 pm after sleeping at 9 sthm am and it's 4 am go the Fuck to sleep, also I'm sick of you're shit."

WHICH BTW I BEEN HAVING THE WORST TIME DOING SO CAUSE ONE OF MY BIG BOI BLANKETS GOT POOP ON IT & THE OTHER GOT PISSED ON. So far the best way I've found to Go the F To Sleep has been cuddling with mom because cuddling with mom is Great and allows my pickyass brain to stfu about not being able to nest properly. also my bed is uncomfy as shit without Proper Nesting Materials which means I haven't really been able to recharge alone properly either!!!

I know all very small problems but it's kinda all piled up together in a giant ball of Complete & Utter Bullshit.

Further Warning:

self pity & hate train is here y'all, if ya dont wanna read that please & kindly heck off. No disrespect intended but this is a random post on the Internet under a read more, you put in some tiny amount of effort to get this far. Also it should be noted that the swearing rockets up a few notches, again you don't have to read further. (Apologies if this is a bit over the line for bitchiness, have a lovely day regardless)

and!! i should be able to fix the blanket problem except my dumbass forgot how to do laundry AGAIN cause i haven't had the proper motivation to do Fuckin Anything for years now, plus my stupidass self pity train hasn't been properly derailed enough for me to figure out how to trick myself into Actually Doing Stuff! I've just been complaining about it like a useless little Bitch! Which i am! i barely fuckin do anything cause i just sit there in a guilty spiral of guiltyness doin fuckall. Just, what the fuck man.

[rainerghost]

Vent and large blocks of text below. Be warned.

When you finally realize what the hell your attraction identity is but its an extraordinarily niche and confusing microlabel that combines two other obscure-ish and confusing labels and only has like 12 search results on Google and has a flag that's either a washed out gradient pan flag or the omni flag with some more blue.

Oh, but that's not all. No no no, there's more. On top of that, I'm also apparently aromantic and ace (I'm also a very funky kind of ace), which is confusing enough to explain to people, and if I DO tell someone and they understand what aroaceness is, if I express any sort of attraction (and henceforth act outside of the aroace bianary), I'll have to explain the complete and utter trainreck that is the identity described above this huge block of text. My attraction is 5d chess with interdimensional time travel and I do not currently possess the vocabulary to express how I feel about this. What the fuck.

...not to mention I recently found out about the existence of omni from one of my omni friends and my dumbass brain makes me feel like I'm "stealing" it if I decide to use it even though it describes me nearly perfectly.

...and also I've already told most of my friends that I'm lesbian so if I do go "hey turns out Im something else" it's gonna be reeaal confusing to explain this absolute tomfuckery.

[3rr0r4004]

Me: *utter and complete silence, staring at a wall*

my dumbass brain: IM THINKING MIKU MIKU OO-E-OO-