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ssailormoonn · 2 months

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❛ Marriage ❜ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ²

Lan Wangji X Fem!Reader

WC; 5.4k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW; x fem! reader, afab reader, cunnilingus, oral -> female receiving, overstimulation, come eating, squirting, virginity taking, slightly rough sex, cervix kissing, hickies, marking + probably more i can't think of lmao

REQUEST? YES (link to the request)\

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝒮𝒴𝒩𝒪𝒫𝒮𝐼𝒮 :: When her husband comes back to Jingshi reader asks for Lan Wangji to consummate their marriage because she believes its her duty to do so, to satisfy him in bed. Wangji only takes this so far by giving his pretty wife head. Only then a few nights later, Wangji comes home late from hunting and then there they make love to each other.

1.4k more than what i intended to write but thats okay...

part 1 | part 2

m.list | mo dao zu shi m.list

The night air was cool, crisp, with just a low noise of nocturnal creatures stirring in the darkness. The moon cast its silver light onto the landscape; in vain, it was unable to still your fidgeting. Lan Wangji had gone on a night hunt, so he had left you alone in your chambers. That is one of those moments when all will be well, and you know how capable he is at anything bound to come his way, but yet something nags in the pit in your stomach at his absence beside you, to put all at rest.

Those hours ticked so slowly, every single minute pulling on for such a length of time. You walked up and down the room, him on your mind all the while. The strong, silent support had just interwoven itself into the bedrock of your existence, and now that it was gone… you were lost. Finally, you could take the taut silence no longer and went to stand by the window, looking out into the darkness in the vain hope that his familiar silhouette would come toward you.

You finally heard the sound of footsteps as the first light of dawn tinged the world beyond. Your heart lifted within your chest as the door creaked open and you turned to face him. It was Lan Wangji. His robes were not as immaculate as they usually were—slightly ruffled by the night's activities—but his eyes were clear, the calmness sculpted into them once more.

"Wangji," you breathed, feeling the wash of relief from head to toe as he finally arrived.

He stood there, his eyes locking on yours, and even the tension in your shoulders seemed to leave you. "It was a quiet night," he repeated, his voice level and reassuring.

At his words though, you could feel the barrier that time and fate had thrown up like an invisible wall between you, the same one that haunted your marriage. With feelings heightened by his absence, you felt a desperate need to close this gap tonight more than ever.

"Wangji," you started hesitantly, your voice quivering with fear. "I've been considering… about us, about our marriage."

His brow furrowed slightly, a hint of his concern in those eyes. "{Y/n}, you should rest. It has been a long night."

You shook your head as determination thrummed in your heart. "No, I have to say this. I understand the why of our marriage—the duty and the honor—but I want more. I want to be close to you. I want us to be truly united, not just in name."

He took a step closer, his gaze unbreaking from yours. "We are already so close, my bondmate; we do not have to be in a hurry."

He inhaled deeply, summoning all his courage. "Please. Lan Zhan."

The moment his birth name left your lips, something in him shifted. His calm and cool exterior shattered, and raw emotion flirted in his eyes. In a second, there he was in front of you, cupping your face with his hands as he captured your lips with his in a fervent kiss. This kiss had the intensity of everything compacted into it that left you breathless.

Breathe hard, his forehead hung over yours, the moment he let you go. "You don't even know how badly I wanted to hear you say my name, without my telling you, since the moment we met," he said, his voice hoarse with longing. "But we can't rush into it. Not until you're really ready."

You nodded with his words, even as your heart almost broke with longing. "I get it," you whispered, your eyes filling, "I just. I want to be close to you."

He brushed a tear off your cheek with his thumb, not really touching your face. "Fine."

At that sudden change of heart, shock moved your eyes up to his. "For real?" you said, a slight shake in your voice.

"So you want this, don't you?" Wangji asked you.

How Lan Wangji has waited for this moment. Wangji wants his wife with some untranslatable primal need, but he doesn't want to take away her virginity just because she feels it's her responsibility to do so. He wants to wait for that moment where his wife grows to desire him as he does her.

Wangji wants her to love him—really love him—but he gets no prize for refusing her when she looks at him like that, all piteously wide, doe-eyed stare.

The breath on your face was warm, steady, almost demanding, and Lan Wangji's arms held on a fraction tighter. Pulling back a little, you met his gaze. Inside the inferno of your chest, his eyes were burning.

"Lanzhan," you whispered back, his birth name seeming more right on your lips.

His eyes had softened to the sound, and you almost could read the longing and love he held for you. You couldn't contain yourself, so you bent down over him, pressing a gentle kiss onto his forehead. He tensed slightly under your touch.

You went on, bestowing soft kisses all over his face, on the bridge of his nose, on his cheeks, in the corners of his eyes. Each kiss was a promise, an unspoken word of just how much you felt your love for him would overpower you. His skin was warm under the press of your lips, and you felt his heart quicken.

"Zhan," you murmured between the kisses, "I want to show you how much you mean to me."

His hands drew a little tighter, the knuckles digging into the fabric of your robes, one at your back and another at the side. His eyes slammed shut as, with a small exhale, his lips parted ever so slightly. You kept peppering his face with soft kisses, light as feathers but so ripe of emotion.

Finally, when pulling back, his eyes slowly opened again, this time all darkened with desire towards and something deeper, more profound in nature. He reached out and cupped your face with one hand, his thumb tenderly stroking your cheek.

"You are everything to me," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. "But we must take this slow. I want you to be ready."

"I am! Please, Lan Zhan," you beg, though it felt like you had to do this since you are husband and wife, but there was a throbbing need in you, a need to have him touching your body, to have him fill you up to the brim.

"Lay down on the bed," crooned Wangji as he followed your movement down to the bed, and you hesitantly lay down.

This was your duty as a wife now wasn't it? You have to make sure you please Lan Wangji, alright. Lan Wangji was trying so hard to give a shit as he had his own urges. He has been in love with you for much longer than he can remember and here you are, wanting to please him, willing to have his cock stretch out your pretty pink virgin cunt.

But he won't take you tonight, he'll savor you tonight, having you beg for more on his tongue until you can't even think straight. Until you recognize your feelings for him.

Lan Wangji unties your pretty white and blue hanfu robes, the colored robes that distinguish you as a Lan, that display that you are the Hanguang-Jun's wife.

Even more, you are lying naked on the bed, while he was fully clothed. You didn't know what to do or say because you are his wife; hence he could do with you whatever he wants, and him doing anything with you did not include you asking any questions about it.

"Just stay still and don't move," Wangji said, and you nodded at his serious statement. He was just dying to take you right there and then. You looked so small, vulnerable beneath his broad, huge body. You nodded at his stern statement, underlining the word 'don't', as your body stiffened rigid underneath him. He almost held that lingering fear inside him that maybe you would break.

Wangji brushes that thought out and gets things going to feel the good. Not that he feels the same about it, he does this so that you would later understand how much you would need him physically.

Wangji cranes his neck forward, pressing kisses to your soaked clit through your underwear, making you want to clench your thighs around his head. His head was in the way of you doing so, Wangji's hands gripped onto your thighs, reminding you of your place.

"Lan Zhan," you breath out, not knowing what to do at the foreign sensation.

He simply showed no desire to stop, because after all, he was doing it not just to satisfy his needs. Your soft thighs were locked on his broad shoulders, holding you in bed. He did this not just to satisfy himself, but also for your good. Lan Wangji really wished you to wake up to your needs; otherwise, he would do something he'd regret.

You moaned, hands getting knotted within his long black locks. His bun at the top of his head had come loose, and the essence of his back fell free. Your back wanted to arch away from the tingling sensation, to squirm out of his hold, but you were immobilized—utterly weak under his touch.

"You, stop moving," he intones with a milder iratedness and you obey, trying your utmost not to twitch with the kisses he lathers onto your clit through your wet panties. Lan Wangji moves the fabric to the side, baring your wet folds, and he doesn't hesitate. '

He waited for far too long to finally have a taste of you, and Lan Wangji was going to enjoy himself like there was nobody else there—with you, with your puffy little clit between his lips, sucking it until you came over and over again, with his tongue. Push you with his tongue into overheating.

The grip on your thighs strengthens as you feel his nose bump against your sensitive clit, and your fingers tighten on the hold you had on his hair. A mewl slipped past your plump lips, and the groan of satisfaction rippled through him into your folds. His tongue drags from your soaked hole up to your clit, and moans slip from your lips.

You're desperate to remain quiet and not make any of those lewd noises ring out past your mouth. One of your hands falls from his hair and moves up to cover your mouth which Lan Wangji didn't like one bit.

"You cover your mouth again and I won't be too nice," Lan Wangji says sternly, pulling your hand away from your mouth, which causes a yelp to leave your lips.

Lan Wangji wants you moaning, whimpering as loud as possible, with your head thrown back hard against the fluffy pillows beneath you and your back arched into his tongue, that is sucking lewdly on your aching clit.

That was the moment when thighs clenched around his head through his restrictive hold, and a moan reverberated into your clit that made you grind down against his face. A chant of his name was spilled from your lips, and he reveled in every second of it.

"Lan! Fee. Zhan! Fee.funny!" You whimpered out, that weird feeling in your stomach as something built up inside you, and you didn't know what it was. "Zhan! St'op!! Fee. weird!!"

"Shhh," Lan Wangji cooed to you against your clit, and you moaned again, the coil in your stomach growing tighter. "You getting close, that's all."

Your eyes widened as he said it. This is what an orgasm would grow to feel like. It feels so good. Closer to your orgasm, two fingers pushed through your folds into your gummy walls, and they immediately found their place. Fingers pressed up against that soft spot deep inside your walls every time he curled his fingers when he inserted them in at a quick pass.

"Yes, that's it, {Y/n}," he moaned against you, his hips rutting into the mattress, trying to relieve some sort of sexual buildup that was anything but getting better.

He was in such dire need of you.

The way your hips pushed back into that rough grind onto his face elicited a groan from you. "Good girl," he praised.

You chant his name, broken letters, and his movements, quicker, hungrier; the single hold he had on your thigh clamped tighter. The coil in your stomach just wound tighter, and the fingers locked more around his locks; they kept him in place, but he groaned more into your folds.

It only pushed me right over the edge, for a moan to spill from the lips at the moment that he pressed his tongue hard against my clit—what was once a soft scream leaving your mouth. The coil in your stomach now unleashed, his face totally drenched. Lan Wangji lifts his head out from your drenched folds; his chin is soaked with your cum.

Your chest heaved with the aftermath, breasts falling to the side from your subtly arched back. His chest swelled with a need for you but he wanted to wait for you; wanting to wait for you to want him. He wants you to want him out of love for him, not respect or responsibility as his wife.

Just your pure love, that's all he wants.

'I'm not through with you," were his final words just before his tongue started, once again, to toy with your clit, over except for you.

"Lan Zhan!" you cried in shock from how overwhelmingly the sensation was, a loud moan slipping past your lips, and your thighs clenched extremely tight around his head. This time, he wouldn't let you block his airways, his hands trying to pry open your thighs. And this time, he really would make you come with nothing but his tongue.

And so you did, a thousand times. Over and over your clit throbbed and ached. Your pussy ached and gaped for more, but he didn't give it to you. You'd begged for him to stop, but you knew he wouldn't. Lan Wangji knew you didn't want this, no matter your actions and words. Your cunt begged harder for more and more releases.

Lan Wangji continued to lap up from your folds, and you were definitely sure of a different sensation bubbling inside. "Zhan! Wait!" You whimper, but still your juices spill out from your cunt all over his face, the liquid obviously wetter than earlier.

Lan Wangji stood from between your legs, the realization that it was you who just squirted. A wave of tiredness swept your countenance and you sluggishly went down like a sack of potatoes, submitting to the warm clutches of slumber, and Lan Wangji sighed. Before Lan Wangji could allow himself to catch some sleep beside you, he had to tidy you up, which he did, cleaned you up quite nicely before he changed the sheets without waking you.

The week after that night in Jingshi was spent with a rededication to closeness with Lan Wangji. Every shared glance and every touch, however fleeting, was a promise of deepened feelings, an unsaid understanding that their bond was growing.

But tonight, the hours inched by, and Lan Wangji had not come back from his night hunt. Anxiety began gripping you in earnest as you strayed to and fro across the chamber, filled only by the doing of such a thing. The night was painted as if to be colder, darker, and one couldn't shake away the fear that maybe something happened to him.

At that very moment, you had been about to head out in the search of him yourself, when the door slid open soundlessly and Zewu-Jun stepped inside. His face was calm but serious.

"{Y/n}," he spoke softly, "Lan Wangji has returned. He is safe."

Relief washed over you, wordlessly brushed past Zewu-Jun amid the aching drumbeat of your heart. You entered the courtyard and found Lan Wangji standing there. A little tattered, with worn spots in his face, was the only flaw in what otherwise was him being all right. At the sight of him, relief came pouring through you, and with it trickling down all worry and fear.

"Lan Zhan!" You choked out, hurtling towards him.

He turned at the sound of your voice, and his eyes widened in almost surprised realization as you closed the distance from him. You didn't bother to say a word; instantly, you just threw your arms up and about him, squeezing him as hard as possible for reassurance that he was actually here.

"Zhan," you started, your voice trembling. "I can't… I can't hold it anymore. I-I've been so scared that I was going to lose you. But then I thought… I realized how much you meant to me."

He pulled his face back just a little so he could see down into your eyes. "{Y/n}…"

"I love you, Lan Zhan," you cried, breaking to pieces inside of yourself. "I love you so, so much. I can't bear the thought of being without you."

His face softened a fraction, eyes alit now with relief and joy in equal measure. "You love me?"

You nodded your head, feeling the weight lift off your chest. "Yes, I do. More than anything."

Lan Wangji's eyes sparkled, then he took you again, drawing you close. "I love you, {Y/n}. So much, for so long. To hear you say it… It means more than I could ever have asked," he stuttered.

He bent forward and took your lips in a kiss that spelled all the passion and love ever withheld. His arms tightened around you as well, through which you felt all his feelings, all that depth stored in every touch, every move. In that kiss was a mixture of relief, desire, and intoxicating love.

And then, without realizing it, the kiss deepened, and you only got yourself lost. The world around you just seemed to fade away—there was only you, Lan Wangji, and the beat of both of your hearts that now thumped against each other.

The spell was broken, and you turned to see Zewu-Jun standing a few paces away, the expression a mix of amusement and mild embarrassment.

"Sorry," he apologized, "but this is not your Jingshi. This is the Hanshi."

His smile warmed as you realized where you were, and a blush started to creep up your cheeks. Still holding your hand, Lan Wangji's thumb rubbed lightly over yours.

"Thank you, brother," Lan Wangji said, warmth flowing in his voice. "We will take our leave."

You never released his hand from yours until you both reached your own chambers, and you never felt like you were floating.

You both rapidly went back to the Jingshi, and the two of you never waited for a moment: his lips were on you. His face closed an inch towards yours in a gentle purpose, and all of a sudden you felt the soft brush of his lips against your own. Across the impassable physical distance, Lan Wangji's hand slides through the back of your neck, and you can feel the warmth of his touch seep into you as you flutter your eyes and close them halfway in satisfaction.

The hand cradling the back of your head, holding it in place, suddenly changes from cradling to directing your chin upward, and your stomach swoops in a sickening wash of vertigo. Lan Wangji's face falls, and his exhale is strong over your neck shell, the pulse of scalding heat almost tangible. A second no more, and it leaves an electric impression in its wake.

While his lips are at yours, his other hand cradles your neck from behind, providing an overall warmth that leaves a shiver running down your spine. His lips press again into yours. The rhythmic dance of our tongues surprises you, and you are lost in that tender exchange. You bury your head in the security of Lan Wangji's shoulder, pulling away from the overwhelming intensity. Your fingers tighten in the fabric of his shoulders for grounding in the now.

Lan Wangji gently manipulates your head to an upward tilt using the tips of his fingers. The moment your eyes lift, meet his, it's all clear, and the flutter in your stomach is palpable. He bends his head to the side of yours, his breath intoxicatingly filling the sensitive skin next to your neck. In another moment, the sensation of warmth coursed into every part of your body and you felt the electrifying connection that joined you both.

His fingers trace down your spine, and somehow it feels like little trails of tingling fire. Lan Wangji's lips find yours once more, in a tender way that deepens this connection between the two of us. The room fades as we become entrenched in this shared intimacy. Your fingers trace at the small of his back now, tracing gentle patterns, and you savour the closeness that lingers between you.

A broken kiss seals together our foreheads, our breaths intermingle in the silence as Lan Wangji meets your gaze, a gaze that he lets an upswell of feelings warm in the shade of water that is shadowing down his face. There is an unspoken understanding in the charged atmosphere, and as his thumb brushes against your cheek, there is a bond—if the words aside should be counted—forged between both.

"Lan Zhan," you exhale. "I want you. so badly."

You back from the desk, and Lan Wangji is matching the action never letting go as you back across the room and to his bed for support. The baseboard of his bed hits on the back of your legs, bending your knees, and you sit back at the edge of his bed.

You offer liquid grace from the table, your every motion definitive, and subtly Lan Wagnji takes your lead. His hands on your hips remain firm and reassuringly in place as you back up, step by purposeful step leading us towards the bed.

So you rise onto the bed, and, by this time, Lan Wagnji is there, too, rising from the Hanfu on a slide, expectation sits still in the space. I slip off your own with a malevolent eroticism. And so, showing without a word the fragile form beneath, I abandon you in your bra.

LAN WAGNJI'S HAND goes on a longing journey: the palm trails up your hips and waist, leaving the rest of the hand to hold your thigh flush against the side of his body—the room charged in the way that we negotiate the unspoken performance.

Wan Wagnji kisses you again, deeply and passionately.

I gasp under the sheer sensation being pounded into my wanting body, and then, in sheer anticipation, your back arches equal to his. The room seems to shrink, not large enough as he unclips your bra and drags the feverent material off your breasts.

His fingers lightly tease the skin above your collarbone. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks.

You take in a deep breath before pushing softly against his lips again, and breathlessly answering, "I'm sure." Hardly setting your words in a breathy sort of utterance to escape from tremors reacting to the touch already, "I will do anything for you," you add, sighing into your mouth as he brings his lips to mine again.

"I know you would," he murmurs, his hand on your thigh for just a second longer, dragging his two middle fingers down your covered slit, making you jolt and forcing a whimper out of your lips.

Your skirt was still gracing your body, along with your panties. There wasn't even a moment later when your panties weren't tugged by Lan Wagnji and left at an unknown spot. And then the work did commence a heartbeat later when the pad of his thumb teased your clit, back and forth, until he urged a snap of your legs, that brought the smirk leaving hikey in its wake, against the skin of your neck.

Two fingers slid in immediately, inside your heat, and began to curl at your gummy spot. Helplessly you moaned as your arms wound around Lan Wagnji's neck, as if this would help lift some off that pleasure.

"I've found it, have I?" Lan Wagnji asked, slowly moving his fingers in and out of your wet hole and each time he entered again, slowly curling his fingers into your gummy walls.

"You moan as ecstasy sears through each nerve of your body.

"Mmm, please what

"Need you," you whimper out, and he keeps that slow, aching pace. Long fingers curl in at the right time to hit that one spot, which makes you feel so, so good. But he knew that and went on doing this ridiculously slowly, making sure every one of your moans and whimpers was heard.

"More," you choked out, and you felt another smirk roll against his lips.

"You'll get more, I'll take my time with you - " he said to you hotly, breathing into your ear, looking at the task force trailing us, and still wanting to get more out of Light.

"Jus' want you to go f-faster," you say holding back the moan when he curls his fingers once more. "You're such a dirty girl," Lan Wagnji degrades and complies with your request and picks up the pace causing the knot in your stomach to grow.

"Please, please, please," you went on chanting over and over again, asking for an orgasm's release that has a deadly threat lying over your body, "Ngh, Zhan, please."

"Fine, girl, let go," he tells, and a moan of his name leaves your throat. Your back is bending into his chest, his arm slipping around your waist, and you close to him. Lan Wagnji lets himself drop to kiss you again, letting the warmth of the kiss float around when he pulls back. "I'm not done with you; you're going to take my dick all in your tight cunt. You got that?"

You nod dumbly, just wanting to feel the ache deep inside of you.

Lan Wagnji flipped you around, your breast squished tightly against the bed as you felt Lan Wagnji abs press flush against your back which was considerably bigger than your back. His hands gripped the backs of your hands, pressing them into the bed, making sure you wouldn't move out of his iron grip.

He quickly switched his grip, moving your arms to one of his hands and pinned the two with one hand above your head. "Relax," he cooed in your ear, realizing you were tense.

You felt a big and heavy tip prod at your entrance, you gasped at the thick length. "Lan Zhan," you whimper out. "P-please."

"That might hurt, so breathe," he added, but instead, you did the opposite as you felt your gummy walls invaded by his thick and warm cock.

And Lan Wangji? Dear God, he was trying so hard not to beat into that tight pussy. Your walls squeezed so hard against his dick that he could explode right there and then. "I said breathe. You're too tight." Lan Wangji moaned and the noise went straight to your cunt.

You exhaled the breath you were holding; the initial pain that was there throughout your body had been replaced by pleasure, which coursed now through the veins.

Lan Wangji's breath tickled at your ear, the hot air causing your body to tremble further against his. His cock lodged so deep in your gummy walls it made you mewl out in pleasure, but Lan Wangji wasn't moving; he was keeping himself snug inside your drenched walls, enjoying the pleasure.

Why, had Lan Wangji not mind-hacked himself, he would have combusted right then and there, inside you.

Hot and steamy kisses trail from your ear down to the dip between neck and shoulder, and before you know it, a breathless sigh is escaping you—lips parted just as Lan Wangji rolls his hips into yours with his shaft length, scraping all the sensitive spots of the hot insides of you to elicit a moan to roll off your tongue.

"L-Lan Zhan!" you moan out and your cry is responded to by a deep groan which causes you to tremble beneath him.

But Lan Wangji's legs kept your own spread apart, so that you couldn't move from his trapping embrace while his movements became faster, his cock slipping in and out of your needy hole. He is groaning and panting into your ear.

He was filling you up to the hilt, his tip prodding every hit against that spot which made you moan loudly with pleasure. Repetitive moans leave your mouth while he pounds and grinds into your heat. You had this instinctive urge to press into his length, but it was too heavy; his weight was a force against which you couldn't move. You were utterly hopeless as his thrusts became faster.

"H-ha, you're so big," you mewled out as your body trembled beneath him, and he moved one of his hands off mine to let his bicep wrap around your throat—not tightly but to lift your head from the futon and pillows beneath us. He drew you to him more closely and twisted your head, attaching our mouths in a sloppy, wet kiss. He pushed his tongue inside and groaned deeply at the intensity rising.

Lan Wangji drew back, but thrust harder, hitting your perfect spot. "I feel so good, don't I?" He rasped in your ear as your mouth continued to let out desperate moans.

Tears streamed down your heated cheeks in pleasure as you nodded within his movement-restricting hold. "Such a good girl," He mumbled in your ear chased with a deep groan, your insides clenched at his praise and his hips stuttered in their movements.

You spasmed around his length, your end washing over you, legs shaking as the weight of him pressed down even more than it was. He didn't slow his thrusts, making you whimper in overstimulation, but Lan Wangji helped it; his hips continued to rut into me, further aiding me to ride out your orgasm as he chased his own.

With a groan, his lips mashed against mine once again as his hips slammed into mine, hard, his cum spilling inside you causing you to moan into his kiss.

"'M love you so much," you whimper into the kiss.

"I love you, more," Lan Wangji groaned.

You were sure you were done until you felt his hips roll into yours again and you moaned. "I'm going have sex with you all night, not until you pass out."

The first touch of light that night was just streaming into the curtains, warming the room with deep and rich hues as you moved just a bit, sleeping. Everywhere, small moves each one bringing a reminder of how the previous evening felt and, oh so wonderfully good, sore muscles. Lan Wangji lay beside you in the bed, face at peace, and content, hand lying protectively, possessively over his.

He roused from the brief state of transcendence, returned to his spot, and as soon as he opened his eyes, they met yours. "Good morning," he began in a soft voice.

"Morning," you answered, almost inaudibly and with shyness apparent.

He brushed the hair from your face and whispered, "Are you okay?"

You nodded but wincing a little. "Just a slight sore."

The slightest flicker of concern passed in his dark eyes before he straightened up, extending his hand to help you do the same. "You should sit. I'll bring breakfast here."

As he motioned to leave, you reached out your hand to snag his, pulling him back in for a quick kiss. "Thanks, Lan Zhan."

He smiled, the sight of it filling you with warmth. "Anything for you."

For the next few days, you replayed moments of the night before. The soreness was still there, though met with happiness and satisfaction. And Lan Wangji, as always, was so careful that he practically made sure you had nothing to want for as you recuperated. Insistent on doing most things for you himself, of course, so you could relax and recover.

One fine morning, as you sipped your tea by the window that Lan Wangji had made for you, you just could not help but be full of admiration for how your relationship had transformed. Each and every gesture, each and every look of his that spoke of affection, drew your heart.

"How do you feel today?" he would ask as he passed by to sit with you.

"Better," you leaned your head to one side, resting your forehead against his. "Thank you for looking after me. That's quite a bother and an honor."

He kissed your forehead tenderly. "In my duty and it's always an honor to look after you."

The days which followed were full of soft moments and shared laughter. Lan Wangji was unconditionally supportive and affectionate toward you, which made your recovery much easier. He would find solace in walking the gardens, for he found peace with Lan Wangji. They could stay hours reading in each other's quiet company, basking in the tranquil atmosphere of the Cloud Recesses.

One afternoon, even when you'd just been doing light stretches to work out the lingering soreness, he'd come up to you with a slight smile.

"I have something for you."

You would look up inquisitively. "What is it?"

He holds out a small, intricately carved wooden box. Opening it, you find herbs and salves, all carefully prepared by him to aid in your recovery. "I thought this could help with the soreness.".

Tears of thankfulness welled up in your eyes at this.

"Thank you, Lan Zhan. You're always thinking of me."

He enveloped you in his arms, gently.

"Because you are my everything. Got to make sure you're in good condition when we fuck; can't have you passing out on me now."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | mo dao zu shi m.list

#mdzs x reader #mdzs x fem! reader #lan wangji x reader #lan wangji x fem! reader #lan wangji smut #lan wangji x fem! reader smut #wangji x you #lan wangji x you

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lollytea · 5 days

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low hanging fruit but Willow for the character thingy :]

How I feel about this character

She is like a squeaky stress toy to me. I like to give her problems. I like to give her treats. She's become deeply special to me. She has melded herself to my insides and has basically become another one of my internal organs. She's also a character who has made me extra passionate about the concept of writing teenage girls as their raw, messy, complicated selves. I think a lot about Willow's trauma. I think a lot about her internalised insecurities that she'll never truly recover from but she can definitely learn to handle better. I think a lot about her rage. About her patience and wisdom. About her silliness. Willow just has SO many layers that I'm always flipping through her like a book. She is my favourite book.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

My non-romantic OTP for this character

It's very hard to choose!! Willow and Gus have this bond that's like. The school's most levelheaded dunce and the school's most reckless prodigy. Two bullied, isolated kids who took care of each other when nobody else did. They mean so much to me!!!

Also her dynamic with Amity has the potential to be so rough around the edges but imbued with so much love and yearning and hurt and betrayal and lack of communication and UUGGGHH!!! It's so fascinating, I love it!!

My unpopular opinion about this character

I dont think I have any opinion thats unpopular? Umm. I love to focus on her flaws I guess. I feel like sometimes they're overlooked bit in favour of focusing on what a strong independent kind loving sweet funny tragic young girl she is. Not that there's anything wrong with that. That is a huge chunk of her personality. But it would be cool to see some spotlight given to her occasional pettiness, her anger management issues, her tendency to keep her grievances to herself rather than communicate them because she's so averse to confrontation I feel like these are the nitty gritty details that are super fun to incorporate into a Willow characterization. But like. That's not me criticising the way she's usually interpreted. This is fandom. People can do whatever they want.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Yknow....I probably would have been left wanting so much more for Willow if FTF didn't come along and give me everything I could have wanted for her. So I'm honestly pretty satisfied.

I guess, if anything, I wish Willow's negative emotions causing her magic to go haywire had been a bigger issue over the duration of the show, rather than just little hints here and there culminating in the big FTF meltdown. Like I know she was just a secondary character but an episode or two delving into Willow's relationship with her magic and her emotions would have been really cool. Like it must be scary for a little girl, right? To feel like a bomb waiting to explode? I wonder if she was ever afraid of herself.

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shaantiofher · 2 years

Text

Hellos im back on here after a long time(even though i never out work on here before)

Have been busy:(

I am hoping to post more:)

The piece below is something i wrote in alot of pain emotionally and its alot more raw then what i usually write so enjoy<3☺

@sunangelstears @kazukazuhas @decaffeinatedcloudkryptonite @honey-sniffles @averagemental-crisis @tsukki-lovebot

TW: SELF HARM PROCEED WITH CAUTION

The man who loves

mirrors

This man who love mirrors ,

dressing himself in his best clothes and tending himself in such a careful manner,

Its similar to that of a mother tending to a newborn

this man whos vanity matches narcissus, this man who loves mirrors

This man who is also the man who heartlessly shattered a pure soul who unconditionally loved him with all of his vanity ,

this man must ,

Oh how he must ,

He must experience trauma so tormenting that he cant even look himself in the mirror everytime he breathes he is reminded that he is alive and suffering ,

Suffering another day with these emotional shackle around his hands and neck ,

Restricting him from living the life of glamour he once did ,

until one day ,

Finally,

he cant take it anymore and tries to end his pain ,

He cuts

He cuts the skin he deemed so beautiful and before he could take his final few breathes he is saved by a hazy figure in the light

Allowing his perpetual pain ,

his suffocating suffering to continue everytime he turns to the knife he is saved but is always left with the scars ruining the body he deemed so beautiful ,

His glorious

beautiful ski,

the outside that now matches his rotting inside ,

eventually he will be put in an asylum

in a room thats white

in a room where theres no sharp objects , no poison , no hard surfaces ,

nothing to torture himself with ,

nothing to hurt the outside so it matches inside,

all he can do is sit there and stare at those bland walls barricaded with matresses and think about that toment , that heart stopping hurt that triggered his suicidal streak , of which he is reminded of everytime he looks at himself in the mirror , the mirror that was once his best friend in his days of vanity, the mirror he now cannot stand ,

a vicious cycle which reminds him of karmas beautiful way of making him pay

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disruptivevoib · 7 months

Note

I am very silly about the Eleutheromania and Lacuna AUs, I don't really have any specific questions but feel free to rant about either of those AUs :3

Eleutheromania is my so very beloved AU.

And I could say so much but. I have this ramble about Eleuthero!Whole, aka Clio. And loosely also Calliope, Eleuthero!Soul.

-- So thats under the cut!

So, I do often think abt trying to add more distinction between Clio in co-existence and Clio in fully formed Whole. Which are both things as of yet to be seen in the fanfic writing. But it will be seen, and thusly needs to be considered.

I know Clio in co-existence was very very apathetic.

He, universally, maintains that he is a loathsome person and pretends to accept this with a boastful ego but. He does absolutely hate himself.

So, I think that co-existence Clio is the more raw or realistic one.

When the self-aware loathing of Soul, the overwhelming seeping and creeping of emotion of Heart, and the harsh brutalist truth or moral/societal pressures of logic are all stripped away you ARE just indeed left with this thing writhing in misery because it cannot even really stand the idea of being where it is, being itself.

So, co-existing Clio accepts everything /he/ essentially does to himself because its what he believes he deserves. And on the vice-versa end, a fully formed Clio perpetuates the cycle because he also still believes its what /he/ deserves just.. backwards.

Where Callie has never inherently believed he deserved the treatment Whole gave him, Clio has only ever thought it was just that at least some part of himself be tyrannical over the other. Even in switching up because he was fully formed once more.

The distinction there is that he HAS all that loathing and self vitriol in him again alongside the misery of it.

On both ends he still puts up this face, and he still accepts the deserving nature of it all, but flips it into.. sort of.

"If I deserve it, and I am me, and they are me, they deserve it too."

A nonsensical and delusional mentality that at the end of the day, no matter where he is, he deserves to be, in some form, whether deeply subconsciously or right there at the surface level of basic thought, miserable.

Which likely stems from just. Who Clio is or became as a person. I do not think he has that many friends, and the ones he did have, obviously didn't notice he changed when Soul took over because by the time Calliope did so, he was already just *that* similar to Whole if only different in that he did not accept their sameness and delusionally denied the fact that he had become "himself" in a way by perpetuating the narrative that Mind and Heart are not people and that Whole is deserving of all the horrible things. Though he saw it as just because Whole did it first, regardless, they were both harming themselves.

I do think Clio likely did make songs still, and he threw himself into them for a time but idk if he ever actually did post them.

The inital concept was that, he did and such but.. ah. The evolution of the character and the disconnection I feel between him, or all of them as characters from source material or CJ as the artist, ahh blah blah. He never posts music he writes, or continues it.

He does enjoy creating, he just struggles to find a footing in believing anything he does is worthwhile- or even furthermore, that if he deserves to be miserable and self-sabotages so much... why would he ever properly pursue something that could make him happy when he is undeserving of that.

Which also side-ish note is yeah! Eleuthero aside from base root concept to me is pretty disjointed from the canon of CCCC. The AU is highly self indulgent and more an exploration of someone who struggles to even attach personhood to themself in a solid way, etc etc.

#voidthoughts #eleutheromania #Clio isn't great but neither is Calliope. None of them are great people in the au they're just struggling ig?#asks #eleutheromania au

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pesterloglog · 9 months

Text

Dave Strider, Dirk Strider

Act 6, page 7748-7756

DAVE: ok actually maybe i will get into it

DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them

DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me

DAVE: but thats not how it was

DAVE: their complaints were trumped up nonsense and i bought it cause... i dunno

DAVE: i didnt have any frame of reference

DAVE: but his dad and her mom no matter what they said it was so obvious they cared about them deeply

DAVE: even jades weird fuckin grandpa who died when she was young obviously would have done anything for her

DAVE: why did i get such a raw cut of the asshole deck

DAVE: and why did it take me so long to figure that out

DAVE: and like hes dead now so thats that

DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years

DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?!

DAVE: i dont come away with the impression i used to try convincing myself of, that he was like "mysterious" or "stern" or "aloof"

DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me

DAVE: and the whole act of even "raising a child" was some totally fucked up game to him

DAVE: like parenthood was one of the highest tiers of irony in his solemn bullshit bro-ninja code

DAVE: so he went through those motions and did whatever he thought was "funny" or "badass"

DAVE: but under that weird stylistic and totally sociopathic approach to parenting i cant even IMAGINE there was any emotion toward me other than some sort of loathing

DIRK: What...

DIRK: Did he do?

DAVE: i dont want to get out the laundry list

DAVE: but for reference laundry wasnt one of those things

DAVE: that was just one of the many little domestic things i just had to sort of FIGURE OUT

DAVE: sorta like i eventually had to learn what the REAL purpose of a refridgerator was from movies

DIRK: Wait.

DIRK: What??

DAVE: i dunno theres too much to even get into

DAVE: just

DAVE: i dont remember the atmosphere ever not being nerve wracking

DAVE: all havin to sneak around and...

DAVE: ugh my shitty childhood spider senses are tinglin just thinking about it

DAVE: it was "training" you know

DAVE: but you know what it really was it was some vicious shit that was bad and sucked and i hated it

DAVE: it didnt make me stronger

DAVE: it did the opposite

DAVE: it made me never want to fight

DAVE: it made me never want to see blood or be near danger or hear metal sounds

DAVE: it made me hate the idea of being a hero cause he was a hero and he ruined the idea of heroism

DAVE: i dont even want to be fighting this shitty version of jack but hey nobody else has secret welsh powers so i guess i have to

DIRK: ...

DAVE: what gets me is how long it took me to put all this together

DAVE: to stop seeing it as some kinda roughhousey and eccentric life i had but was otherwise normal

DAVE: it took years to deconstruct it all and put it back together to understand how fuckin mad i should be

DAVE: and in particular how stone cold deeply uncared for i was my whole life

DAVE: like... being merely "monitored" by a violent robot

DAVE: i only started getting it after spending a lot of time in person with a bunch of people who actually did care about me

DAVE: and i could start feeling like

DAVE: actually somewhat human for the first time

DAVE: instead of...

DAVE: some sort of runty afterthought to a household cabal of smutty puppets

DIRK: ... Puppets?

DAVE: the fuckin puppets!!!

DAVE: i know how it sounds but i am NOT joking and there is NO shred of doubt in my mind that he loved all those puppets more than me

DAVE: honestly it is very possible that he was just insane and thats that

DAVE: i guess it didnt help either that we lived with what we have come to understand may theoretically be the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever

DAVE: in fact its my tenuous understanding that he came down to earth with that thing and like actually grew up with it

DAVE: maybe...

DAVE: maybe spending 30 some years being unseparable from that hell puppet had some effect on him??

DAVE: maybe if it hadnt been casting a pall over our apartment 24/7 since he took me in...

DAVE: grinning...

DAVE: glaring...

DAVE: laughing in my sleep...

DAVE: maybe our lives wouldnt have been quite so...

DAVE: maybe we would have...

DAVE: ugh

DIRK: What?

DIRK: You ok there?

DAVE: .....

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: That doll.

DIRK: That was Cal, right?

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: Right.

DIRK: My version is "empty", apparently.

DIRK: Whatever that means.

DAVE: huh

DAVE: how do you know that

DIRK: A source.

DIRK: One supposedly knowledgeable in jujus.

DIRK: I never quite knew what that meant, though.

DAVE: well

DAVE: whatever his was

DAVE: "empty" is never how i would have described it

DIRK: Hmm.

DAVE: man

DAVE: i dunno if i figured something out here

DAVE: like um "explained" something or

DAVE: if im just driving myself crazy with this talk and nothing even needs explaining

DAVE: it doesnt change my past or how i feel about him

DAVE: he was still pretty much awful no matter what the reason

DAVE: and im sure thats the only feeling ill ever have about him

DAVE: so who cares why it was like that

DIRK: Yeah...

DIRK: That...

DIRK: All sounds really bad.

DIRK: I don't know what to say though.

DIRK: Maybe I shouldn't say anything.

DIRK: Since I just remind you so much of him, for, uh. Obvious reasons.

DIRK: I don't want to make you feel worse, or make it sound like I'm offering a defense.

DIRK: For him, or me.

DIRK: Because I don't have one.

DIRK: For either of us.

DAVE: come on man

DAVE: YOU didnt do anything

DAVE: this was just some douche bag with your exact dna, who happened to grow up to be my bro

DAVE: you had a completely different life full of like

DAVE: different choices and actions and stuff

DAVE: and even if you were gonna turn out like him youve barely cleared the half way mark on actually chronologically gettin there

DAVE: in some way ranting about all this is probably just uncool of me because...

DAVE: you arent him

DAVE: youre not resposible for any of this shit but im sorta implicitly tacking it on you anyway

DAVE: so

DAVE: sorry about that

DIRK: I'm not sure it's true though.

DIRK: At least, I don't feel that way.

DAVE: what way

DIRK: That I'm not him.

DIRK: The fact is, I am.

DIRK: It's something I've come to understand about myself.

DIRK: All splinters of me are basically me, no matter how much I want to resist that truth.

DIRK: Or pretend they aren't reflecting my own qualities back at me.

DIRK: I bear a certain responsibility for all of them.

DAVE: splinters...?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: I guess the concept isn't that unique to me.

DIRK: We've all got other versions of ourselves running around here and there, throughout the various compartments of this messed up cosmos.

DAVE: right

DIRK: I just happen to be particularly connected to mine.

DIRK: I've felt...

DIRK: Haunted by them.

DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities.

DIRK: So, when I hear about stuff I did in another reality,

DIRK: I'm not sure what my adult self might have ever tried to do to atone for that stuff, if anything...

DAVE: pretty much dick squat

DIRK: Yeah. But in any case,

DIRK: I'm sure I was completely in the wrong, and I'm sorry I messed up your life.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: thanks

DAVE: but

DAVE: it still feels a little odd accepting an apology from somebody who i just met and technically had nothing to do with my life

DAVE: even if you do feel guilty splinterways or whatever

DAVE: it is just a messed up situation

DAVE: and i guess i had to vent

DAVE: and there was never anyone i wanted to say all that to

DAVE: and the only thing that was gonna drag it out of me i guess was like a teen stand-in phantom of my dead bro

DAVE: just some perfectly innocent dude havin to take the brunt of this shit

DIRK: I'm not particularly innocent though.

DIRK: I've messed a lot of things up.

DIRK: With my friends.

DIRK: Honestly, that's why I wasn't that bent on sticking around, when I showed up.

DIRK: And pretty much jumped at the offer of flying here to get ready for some yet to be explained battle.

DIRK: Battles are easy. Just you, a sword, some bad guys... it's a lot simpler than having to answer for things you did.

DIRK: For the most part, I feel pretty bad about the role I played in my friends' lives.

DIRK: Especially Jake.

DAVE: what happened there

DIRK: I don't even know.

DIRK: An unmitigated disaster for which I'm entirely to blame.

DIRK: It's not any one thing. I think I was just a completely toxic element in his life from day one.

DIRK: I don't know what he's doing now.

DIRK: I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to avoid me as much as possible.

DIRK: I'm sure that's for the best.

DIRK: I think I need to stay out of his business for a good while, so I don't risk poisoning another innocent kid's life.

DIRK: Like I did with you, apparently.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: maybe its a little different cause relations between peers is a whole other thing

DAVE: its tricky shit and youre both figuring stuff out on a relatively equal footing and youre both at the same point in your lives

DAVE: its not like when one person is older and supposed to be a lot more...

DAVE: never mind this is a fucked up thing to think about

DAVE: but the bottom line is yeah laying low while you sort out your stuff cant hurt

DIRK: Right.

DIRK: The thing with that, with my adult self's...

DIRK: Ways.

DIRK: The sad thing is,

DIRK: I can really see it.

DIRK: How someone like me can go unchecked in life, and turn out to become a much worse person than I already am.

DIRK: I guess I'm just relieved I still have some time to make sure that doesn't happen.

DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though

DIRK: No?

DAVE: nah

DIRK: Why not?

DIRK: We did just meet, after all.

DAVE: because

DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad

DAVE: i think if i ever sensed my bro like

DAVE: struggled at all with what he was doing or who he was

DAVE: or showed any sort of doubt

DAVE: that might have changed everything

DAVE: but there was never a crack in it

DAVE: or the slightest hint of introspection behind the aggressive cooldude facade

DAVE: if there was i sure never noticed

DAVE: i mean personally

DAVE: i think about it all the time now

DAVE: what it actually means to be good or bad

DAVE: or if not something that starkly moral

DAVE: at least just trying to examine the difference between being decent and being a douche

DAVE: maybe its because of him i worry about that now

DAVE: but for me i think that internal struggle is kind of mild

DAVE: for him...

DAVE: or you i mean

DAVE: it sounds like some pretty dark shit

DAVE: like grappling with...

DAVE: becoming evil vs simply trying not to

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: That's not too far off.

DAVE: but the point is

DAVE: even just talkin to you a little bit

DAVE: its obvious youve been fighting with that

DAVE: which means that you care enough to put in some effort

DAVE: i think that counts for something

DIRK: Maybe.

DIRK: Not sure if I'm ready to accept a pat on the back for recognizing I have some problems, and worrying about whether they'll destroy me and fuck up the people I care about.

DIRK: That might be setting the bar kind of low.

DAVE: well when it comes to the subject of him

DAVE: the bars already pretty low dude

DIRK: The weird thing, honestly,

DIRK: Is that it's actually kind of refeshing to hear a sincerely leveled critique of all my negative qualities, coming from another person invested in a relationship with me, rather than from a fucked up iteration of myself as some bizarre "trollish" form of self abuse.

DIRK: The only thing I've ever been exposed to are either various forms of self loathing either from me or my auto-responder, or attitudes completely oblivious to my real issues, as expressed through my friends.

DIRK: My friends always seemed to cut me so much slack, or were just never aware of the kind of person I really was.

DIRK: Well, Jake probably is, by now at least.

DIRK: But he's also the sort of guy who's just as likely to blame himself for stuff I did, as he is to blame me.

DIRK: Jane and Roxy, though.

DIRK: Never seemed to see anything wrong with me.

DIRK: If anything, just the contrary.

DIRK: Roxy in particular had a certain... fixation.

DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.

DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.

DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected.

DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger.

DIRK: And since then, I've been plagued by the insane ego of my youth in the form of an artificial intelligence I designed which essentially trapped that state of mind in a sort of horrid suspended animation.

DIRK: Until... recent developments, of course.

DAVE: so

DAVE: was that stuff true

DAVE: when you said you idolized the other version of me

DIRK: Yeah.

DAVE: and not just some bullshit like how i used to say the same thing about my bro when i didnt know any better

DIRK: It's definitely not like that.

DIRK: I never lived with him, or met him, so couldn't have anything like the contentious relationship you had with my older self.

DIRK: He was a historical figure from centuries ago.

DIRK: There was a lot to admire, and think about fondly.

DIRK: Especially since I was alone, and never had any direct contact with another person, or any concept of civilization.

DIRK: So even though I'm sure I romanticized what his life was like, and the early 21st century in general,

DIRK: It was nice to think about you.

DIRK: I passed a lot of time that way.

DAVE: you say there was a lot to admire

DAVE: like what

DIRK: Well...

DIRK: He was pretty famous.

DIRK: Made some successful movies.

DIRK: At least under a somewhat expansive definition of "success".

DIRK: And an even more expansive definition of "movie".

DIRK: His work accumulated a lot of subversive political influence, which got him in trouble later.

DIRK: He made like a million bullshit Statues of Liberty, scummed them up with jpeg artifacts, and littered them all over the planet.

DAVE: holy shit

DIRK: He was also a pretty badass swordsman, and an active member of the resistance movement.

DIRK: He slaughtered the clown presidents on the roof of the White House, and flew away on a shitty skateboard.

DIRK: Then it seems he gave the Batterwitch a pretty good run for her money.

DIRK: It wasn't enough, but at least he went down fighting.

DAVE: that

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: ima need to hear more details on this some time

DIRK: Sure.

DIRK: But as you can tell, clearly there was a lot to look up to.

DIRK: I thought about the examples you set constantly. The creative ideals, the advanced theories on irony and humor, the tales of courage and martial prowess.

DIRK: Really, I modeled everything about myself after you. Or at least everything good that I was trying to become.

DIRK: And I probably spent an embarrassing amount of time imagining what it would be like to live during his time, and to be able to have something resembling a sibling relationship, or be in some sort of master-apprentice situation.

DIRK: When I finally learned you existed, and started to understand who he really was in relation to me, that put a lot into context.

DIRK: I realized he was a version of you who got a chance to live up to his full potential.

DIRK: And when I understood there was a young version of you, in a situation sorta like mine, whose time on Earth got cut short when you were thrown into all this,

DIRK: I was at least happy to think there was some reality where you got the chance to do everything you wanted to do, be successful, and fight for all the right things.

DIRK: Even if ultimately it didn't lead to a great outcome for humanity, you had an opportunity to live a full life and show what you were made of.

DIRK: While I guess I had... the same opportunity on your world, somewhat less fortunately.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: but then for all my bitching i guess i still never grasped your full reality

DAVE: just like you probably didnt grasp mine, but just reading into the mindset of a historical figure as best you could

DAVE: what if i wasnt as heroic as it seemed?

DAVE: what if adult me was kinda douchey too in a way you couldnt observe

DIRK: Perhaps.

DIRK: But beyond a certain point, I think accomplishments speak for themselves.

DIRK: I dunno if you can just completely shred every person who ever did great things because they had some flaws.

DIRK: All I can say is, it was important to me to see him the way I did.

DIRK: As a good person who inspired me, and set the standard for what I wanted to be.

DIRK: It kept me going.

DIRK: That said, I'm also glad there's this version of you who got to go through all the things you've been through.

DIRK: Like, yeah, you didn't get to be the cool celebrity who cuts down juggalos on badly defaced government property.

DIRK: And the idea of a "normal life" was rudely taken from you, and it's something you'll never get to experience.

DIRK: But this is so much more challenging, and uncertain.

DIRK: You get to apply all that potential you showed in one reality to something much bigger and more existentially critical.

DIRK: Whatever strength you showed in trying to save a dying planet, the fact is, I think we need that more here.

DIRK: And the trials inherent in being a part of something like this, I think they bring more out of you than a relatively pedestrian life on Earth would. Make you face more things about yourself. At least, that's been true for me.

DIRK: But it sounds like it's been true for you too.

DIRK: It sounds to me like the experiences you've had changed you a lot, for the better.

DIRK: You mentioned the experiences with him that were designed to make you stronger have actually made you weaker, but really, I doubt that's true.

DIRK: I bet you've become stronger than you realize, not because of anything he did, but because of what you've done, and the ways you've changed yourself through your own effort.

DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude.

DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized.

DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are.

DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: you

DAVE: ...

DAVE: you dont think im cool?

DIRK: Nah.

DIRK: I mean, in the right way, yes. I think you are.

DIRK: But, in the way that doesn't mean anything and doesn't matter,

DIRK: Not particularly.

DAVE: ...

DIRK: Anyway, that's...

DIRK: All my "stuff", with respect to your other self.

DIRK: Again, there's a lot more I could say about him.

DIRK: Maybe stuff you should know, or maybe it's all irrelevant to the path you're on now.

DIRK: Regardless, I'd be more than willing to answer any questions you have about him.

DIRK: Or, anything really.

DIRK: Feel free to ask me whatever, ok?

DAVE: ...

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i

DAVE: ill have to think

#homestuck #dave strider #dirk strider #homestuck act 6 #page 7748 #page 7749 #page 7750 #page 7751 #page 7752 #page 7753 #page 7754 #page 7755 #page 7756 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 5

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

Note

Hello I wanted to talk to you about something. Would like to hear your opinion on it because I really respect it. So on Twitter Trumanblack was trening lately and I saw people being mad that truman Black came back.

Here's couple of tweets, to show you the perspective:

,He is escaping the reality through this character. Being sincere and open is the way to live life not hiding behing fictional characters. He needs to grow up and realize where his priorities are.

Ofc, we do not know him. His choice, his life.

what the fuck happened matty. I don't understand what you're doing right now. should have left Truman in the trash. I don't get it.

This. It seems he was used to dealing with difficult emotions through avoiding them in stage character (he admitted to this in an interview recently) & he wanted to ditch the character & embrace the emotions/be sincere things maybe got too raw & real so he is back in charakter

I'm sorry this message is so long. I'm just thinking about it all. Do you think 'matty' is gone and he will be acting and all that in the upcoming tour? Cause I wouldnt like it and it won't be good for him too :/

Again sorry this is so long

No, I mean, this is an interesting topic that I think we should 100% get into to "warm up" for the tour. I bet we'll have even more to say once we start getting content from the first new shows in September. (omg not too far away now aaaahhhh), so everyone feel free to chime in, but basically, here is how I think about it ( this is probs gonna be long. apologies in advance. im gonna add a "keep reading" so i dont destroy y'all feeds).

The first thing we need to remember is that Matty's "Truman Black" persona pre-dates the ATVB tour. He's always been "Truman Black." He's always been a jokester, a meme lord, a bit chaotic, a bit sexy, a pastiche or caricature of himself.

The question, then, is why? Why does he do this?

For several reasons. And he's been nothing but honest with us about them.

From as early on as 23 years old, when ST first started blowing up and the boys cultivated a following, Matty became acutely aware of the spotlight and the way that fans idealized and idolized him. Sexually desired him, saw him as this rockstar figure. And it made him uncomfortable because, well, no real human being could live up to such a fantasy, right? That's really what the song "Love Me" is about. He experienced this during album 1 and instantly wrote about it for album 2. like thats how strongly he felt it. He's more eloquent about it than I can ever be, so I'm going to link you to his explanation of "Love Me."

so, as he's pointing out in his explanation, he plays this kinda ridiculous character to "subvert" expectations. right? even in the mv, he has cardboard cut outs of sex symbols and heart throbs like Harry Styles etc. and he takes his shirt off and stands next to them and makes out with them and all that. Usually, the normal rockstar-fan relationship is that we project our fantasy upon the rockstar and the rockstar accepts it obligingly. But Matty's going "well this is really kinda silly, and it makes me feel sooo disconnected from myself if i turn into this person everyone thinks i am, so what am i gonna do? oh I'll just lean into the silliness." so if he can't do the "fake authenticity" of the cliched rockstar, hes gonna do a very authentic fakeness of being loud, and silly goofy funny messy larger than life, etc.

He explains it here (I've cued it up to the right moment in the video). He's right, if you're a stranger and you know nothing about him and you see him behaving in a Truman-black-esque way, you'd think "wow what an arrogant piece of shit this dude is." BUT if you realize that he's like "i KNOW that you all think of me this way. And YOU (the fans) know that I know that you think that way." we become in on the joke.

You know what im gonna say here. Postmodernism. LMAO. No, but for real. Postmodern art naturally has this "meta" habit. It's art that knows itself as art. It's aware that it's not real. Like movies that are constantly referring to themselves as movies. breaking the experience of illusion for you by constantly reminding you that what you are watching has been filmed and edited. it's not real life. Thats what Matty does with the "rockstar persona" constantly reminding you "it's not real. im just a character made up in all our heads. I'm actually a normal human being but my job is kinda fuckin mental."

So, I think those 4 points, from VERRRYYY early in Matty's career are the genesis of Truman Black. Thats what "Truman Black" is based on.

You could ask, well, if Matty has been this way from the very beginning how come it's such a problem now? how come this whole thing is a new issue??

I think its the perfect storm of this year.

The ATVB show was designed to push the blurry lines between Matty Healy/ Truman Black to their very limits cuz they added extra layers of meta-theatricality to an already meta situation haha. He plays himself in the couch scene, and the raw meat scene, but he's also kind of playing a symbolic version of himself that's supposed to apply to a lot of straight men, but then the show is also about the lines between his personal and his public lives.

Then he goes and does the Truman Black rockstar shit in the second half of the show. So, the tour really could've been called "Matty Healy: At His Very Truman Black-esque" and it would have been accurate. Like he took this concept and stretched it to see how far it could take him.

Then of course you have the podcast thing, the taylor swift thing, the twitter cancelation cycles, etc etc etc.

There were so many new eyes on him. and so much out of context (remember, meta-theatricality needs context. needs the audience to be in on the joke. we have to know 'oh hes making fun of himself being a rockstar') cuz if we don't have the context he really comes off as a guy who's in love with himself and his rockstar status haha.

Now that alllll of this background is out of the way, lets discuss the questions that you've brought up.

Is he Matty or is he Truman Black?

I think lots of people didn't notice that when he threw out the lab coat that was labeled "truman black" in the video, he wasn't serious. he instantly starts doing the robot dance, flipping the camera off with his finger, acting disruptive by riding the trolley thingy. All Truman Black behavior: mischief, breaking rules, etc. so it was a "meta" joke. he tossed the character then acted like the character. a contradiction. ironic. Truman Black's never been gone! he and Matty are intertwined necessarily. you can't separate one from the other.

Is he gonna be acting at all in S...ATVB?

Yes. He will. He's working with Brad Troemel whose sense of humor is very close to Matty's and who loves irony and postmodernism.

Does he use Truman Black to "hide from difficult situations" or to "run from his emotions" or whatever that tweet was saying? no. He uses it to deliver social critique. About masculinity being ridiculous, about our relationship to artists and the fantasy of perfection in Rockstar cliches, about performative wokeness.

Those are the very same beliefs that Matty Healy believes in. hes always criticizing these things in interviews and speeches and stuff. So, no, hes not hiding behind the character to disassociate he IS the same guy, just a slightly less dramatized and exaggerated version.Thats why he doesn't completely turn it on or off at any time. Thats why it's not that he was willing to stop it for a relationship and then start it again when it didn't work out. Thats not how Matty operates at allll.

He didn't throw out his belief that performative wokeness is harmful and stupid, he didn't throw out his belief that leftist masculinity is confusing, he didn't change who he is at his very core just to be mr nice guy, or to be sincere, or to get his dick sucked off by Taylor Swift, or whatever these people think is the reason. He's always been this way; he very likely will always be this way. Thats just how he makes art and how he thinks about the world.

He's always BEEN open to embracing emotions and being sincere. "I love you, don't you mind?" "we're only human we're just like you man" "I'll quote on the road like a twat," "im petrified of being alone, its pathetic," "im just pissed off because you pied me off after your show," "you pick a fight and i'll define it" "i said its cool i was messing but its true," "pretend that i know what it is (i wasn't listening)" "sorry that I quite like seeing myself on the news. im sorry that im someone that i wish i could change, but ive always been the same."

would an emotionally stunted anti-sincerity guy write ANY OF THESE LYRICS? idk, you tell me.

#matty healy #truman black

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rroaddkill · 9 months

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Rant? I guess?? Not really, just rambling.

Something that makes the chucky subreddit mad is when I say Child's Play 2 isn't my favorite and it's rly low in my ranking, now thats not to say that I didn't like it but there are parts that I do! I just don't like how..colorful it is? And I really really hate how fast the franchise goes straight into action so fast, (this EXCLUDES the first two films)

Child's Play 2 is really bright and colorful for a horror movie, and I get it. It's supposed to be morute in a childlike sense, but I like the more gothic elements in chucky movies. Like c1, bride and curse.

Cult of chucky has got to be my very least favorite (except for the last 8 minutes of the film with nicachucky and tiffany), it's so bright and blinding. The constant white color and bright lighting of the mental hospital is almost overwhelming.

Chucky season 1 was okay-ish with maintaining darker colors and dark/timid color coded themes. Chucky season 3 definitely does the gothic-ish theme well too.

Now onto my (mostly, there are some gripes here) positive rambling

Curse of chucky is the BEST for the muted color / dark lighting theme that the Child's Play aura has, and what I mean by aura is (in my opinion) chucky films just don't necessarily feel so beamy and bright, like it almost ruins the dark and nightmarish vibe it should have. Curse of chucky however has the muted/timid colors, it's a slight gorefest (compared to other movies like terrifier for example. Hence why I said slight) and it has the gothic element especially in the house it takes place in. Only issue is that it goes straight into action in less than 10 minutes of the film.

Child's Play 1 also did well with muted colors, the night-time in late 80s chicago (mostly beautiful in this film omg especially with the subtle colorful lights in the streets) and the almost eerie silences throughout the film, and the raw aggression that chucky's character had at the time too. I almost feel like he's nicer as of late, and like yessss emotional maturity you go girl, I wish the films and the tv series would've stuck with chucky being as vicious as he was in the first 3 films, and ALSO not being so open about being alive like in c1, c2 really killed that not even a trilogy in.

Chucky season 2 was AMAZING with my preferred color scheme, not too bright but not TOO dark. I know it offended some Christians but as a devoted Christian, I loved it. No offense taken as I personally don't believe any was delivered either, my only gripes with season 2 are nica's outfits and glenda's outfits..dude..the neon colors gotta go. Glen's fashion was nice though! I liked theirs. Some of Glenda's outfits are faves of mine, especially the ribbed black crop top, and the black jeans with the red straps(?). Onto Nica's outfits, I know that was all Tiffany, however the dresses were so ugly 😭 Nica's own choice of outfits when she left with Glenda and Kyle were sooo much better. Along with her looks in season 3. My only other gripe with season 2 is G.G..ew. hair is too vibrantly dyed red, and the hairstyle doesn't even remotely suit the doll. Not only that but the denim/patterned pin jacket is gross. The rest of their outfit is nice though, it'd be better if the black dress was paired with a leather jacket AND add the pins to that instead because the pins weren't exactly ugly. G.G's makeup isn't terrible but again, doesn't fit the doll.

Bride of chucky, oh where do I even start. This movie always gives me a wave of nostalgia everytime I see it because it was my first chucky movie. And I LOVEEEE the gothic theme all throughout the movie, the usage of blue/purple/red/gold PERFECTLY and those colors don't even really go together! But I gotta say, the set nailed it. The outfitting nailed it. Ronny Yu NAILED directing this!! I love how it toned down chucky's color palette too from the bright childlike colors to fit a gothic film lighting, I also like stitched chucky better than the good guy doll, it's eerie and fits him better. I adore how tiffany made a wedding dress and leather jacket pair work too, her whole makeover and outfit worked so well and it's an iconic scene too! I love love love how this film doesn't stray away from its dark lighting and muted colors either. I wish it was more serious tho, that's my only real gripe with it. And boy I really wish the baby glen scene was extended, at least up until psyches found them in the cemetery because canonically it wasn't that long after Glen killed Detective Preston (I think that was his name). All that aside I love the colors, the outfits and the soundtrack.

Seed of chucky is definitely my all time favorite out of all 7, bride is a close second. I just wish the darker tones made up in most of the movie stayed throughout more of it. I love love LOVE glen's outfit and color scheme! Timid purple works with him so well. Glenda's imitation of Tiffany's look was also adorable...and apologies but, seed Glenda's makeup was a lot better than syfy G.G's. Now Glen and Glenda are my all time favorites (as evident to anyone who's ever met me or seen my account lol) i wish Chucky would've stayed alive and lived with Tiffany and the twins. Finally I wish that as human kids at the very end of seed, there were more scenes with them, especially with Glenda, including the scene where Fulvia gets killed by Tiffany.

I don't know what this ramble really was about or if it makes sense. It probably doesn't. Just a cluster-bunch of my opinions all slammed into one post. I guess the TLDR is

bright colors bad, gothic themes good.

Also child's play 3 isn't included because i hate it.

#salem is thinking #idk if this is a franchise ranking or just me rambling about my bright color and bright light sensitivity #chucky #childs play #rant #ramble #salem is yapping

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jemmo · 10 months

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for the ask game, 7, 12, 17! 💗🌼

thank you for the ask :)) and sorry its late i was gonna answer this at the bus stop yesterday but for once they decided to be on time

7. top 5 bl

man i had to stare at my mdl completed list for a while to decide this, but i'll preface that these top 5 are here both bc i have such a strong emotional connection with them and bc i want to scream about how actually good they are from a rooftop (also not ranked bc thats too hard):

utsukushii kare - don't know else i can make it clear how beloved and special this show is to me. an excellent story across both seasons and the movie with even better mains that are characterised to perfection, develop in the most beautifully human way and are performed brilliantly. and if i think about this show any longer and remember its over i will break so moving on

old fashioned cupcake - it was one thing to give me a bl starring THE og kageyama stage play actor bc those things were my life during the height of my anime phase, but to then have it be this good?? the story is beautiful, the fact they manage to do so much with such little run time amazes me, and to this day it has the most romantic line in any bl that always gives me goosebumps when i watch it. and i dont wanna talk like im that old, im only 25, but as someone who's barely had anything you can call a romantic experience, this show left me with the warmest sense of hope and comfort that beautiful love stories aren't reserved for high schools, and its never too late to find happiness

blueming - i havent rewatched this one in a while, or much at all, but i'll never forget the visceral response i had when i binged it all in one night. i adore the fact that this is just the gentlest story of 2 people falling in love and finding comfort in each other and just how naturally and simply it happens, and i think its portrayal of that specific family dynamic is phenomenal, bc for me at least its as much about that family being in the process of healing as it is about the love story, and the fact they go hand in hand is even better

bad buddy - what else is there to say. for the 12 weeks it aired, i ate, slept and breathed this show. literally did not even think about anything else. and this show has rightly been praised to the moon and back but as well as all that, its always gonna be special for me bc of the people and community i found and shared the watching experience with. what can i say, you just had to have been there, and im so glad i was

the eighth sense - surprisingly this was my last pick and i was debating swapping it for a few others, but it ultimately stays bc of how refreshing and how much of an emotional rollercoaster it was. i haven't ever brought myself to rewatch it, but i can vividly remember how enraptured i was by the sheer amount of tension they managed to create in those initial episodes, and how well they managed to maintain it. and i hope people take note of how much people loved its artful and kinda raw vibe and become inspired to do something similar bc i think it gives great balance to the genre (and i also, clearly, love it, just look at these pics. i promise i do love fun and silly stuff too)

12. most rewatched bl

i was debating putting this on my list but ultimately, while not being my absolute favourite, its my definition of a comfort show and that is my dating sim. idk what it is about the show, but ever since it came out i go back to it at the very least monthly. i think its the fact that when im really craving a good bl, it manages to not only hit all my favourite tropes (unrequited but secretly requited love, reuniting and digging up the past, that initial clash gives me a lil bit of enemies to lovers, plus it has enough fluff to make me all warm and giddy), but it also does them so well, and the story is so perfectly simple and succinct that i feel so content when the whole thing is over. truly the perfect show for when i wanna do nothing and feel happy.

17. best kiss

unsurprising but yes, it still is the bad buddy rooftop kiss. i dare not watch this kiss bc i know if the weakness ever overtakes me i will fall into a void that i will not escape for at least a week. and honestly, while there has been some good competition, idk if she'll ever be beaten, and idk if thats bias talking or just the objective truth, but i encourage all bl's to keep giving it their bests shot

❤️🧡💛bl ask game💚💙💜

#thank you again for the ask lovely #i always love an excuse to talk about my favourite things who doesnt #ask game

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c-c-cherry · 2 years

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HELLO you may recognise me as the artist that drew that one whole scene from chapter 7!! thought i'd drop in to say:

FIRST OF ALL midterms are the pain ever, i wish you all the best!! stay hydrated <3

SECOND OF ALL thank you for taking the time to leave such a long and heartfelt reply on my post asjcjkdj it made me really really happy and giddy for the rest of the day i'm so glad i managed to portray the characters and envision the scenes the way you intended us to! your writing is absolutely gorgeous and i hope you're doubting its quality less, because it is top tier.

speaking of your writing i was tempted to talk about why i really loved the fic in the post itself but felt like it was really long already 😭

so here i am, this may be long, i apologise in advance for my rambling, in this essay-

REIGEN'S SPIRALLING DOWN THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK WAS SO HEART BREAKING BUT SO RAW, IN A WAY, LIKE IT HURTS THAT HE REALLY THINKS NO ONE NEEDS HIM AROUND AND EVERYONE WOULD BE FINE/BETTER OFF W/O HIM. BUT SO SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN POSITIVELY IMPACTED BY HIM AND SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE HIM AND WANT HIM AND NEED HIM

I LOVE HOW REIGEN WAS FORCED TO FACE THAT TRUTH THROUGH DIMPLE'S MEMORIES, I LOVE HOW DIMPLE CARES AND IS CONCERNED FOR REIGEN WHILE BEING BRUTAL AND A LITTLE SHIT

i love how everyone turns to teru because he's reliable and he's smart but he's just a 14 year old who's had to be his own adult for way too long and he's just trying to figure things out, too. I LOVE HATE THE WAY HE TRIES TO FILL REIGEN'S SHOES, I LOVE THEIR FATHER-SON DYNAMIC

getting me started on ritsu would be a mistake as i may write a 13k word essay if left unattended BUT in short, I LOVE THE WAY YOU DEPICTED HIS TRAUMA, HIS EXTREMELY HUMAN, EMOTIONAL REACTION TO MOB POTENTIALLY LOSING CONTROL, THE WAY HE ISN'T OVER IT, BECAUSE REALLY THATS SO UNDERSTANDABLE, THE WAY HE'S JUST A SMALL, SCARED 13 YEAR OLD JUST OUGHHH

MOB AND HIS CONCERN FOR REIGEN, HIM STEPPING UP EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW HIS SHISHOU COULD BE DEAD INSIDE THE OFFICE, HIS BRAVERY AND HIS COMPASSION. AND THE ONE MEMORY? WHERE HES ASKING REIGEN NOT TO LEAVE SO SOON, NOT WITHOUT SAYING SOMETHING I CRIED. I CRIED OK I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

SERIZAWA DESPITE BEING ARGUABLY THE MOST ANXIOUS ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION, STEPPING UP!! TAKING CHARGE AND BEING MATURE AND DOING HIS BEST, FOR THE KIDS AND FOR HIMSELF AND ESPECIALLY FOR REIGEN

and shou oh my god i love that he tags along, that he's included but feels like an outcast in their group, the way he's there because he cares but he thinks he doesn't really have the right since he's not as close to reigen. HES SO ALONE BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO INTEGRATE INTO THEIR CIRCLE, SO HE KIND OF HANGS AROUND THE EDGE AND GOOD LORD I WISH THEY'D JUST PULL HIM IN

in conclusion i want to hug them all. i haven't felt this many emotions in so long cherry you did amazing and trust me you're going to keep doing amazing, because you are you

if you read all the way here thank you for bearing w me 😭😭 i hope you're doing well, you said you recovered from a mystery sickness recently? take care ok, we support you!! <3

-bloo

Hello Bloo!! I’m so sorry it took me this long to finally reply. Life is life, and now I’m here! But just know that I’ve been rereading this ask consistently because it makes me so happy that my work can…make people think THOUGHTS? In-depth thoughts that they want to share with me?? It still barely feels real to me that people are liking my silly self-indulgent fic where I make the business man suffer. So thank you! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it, and thank you again for that deliciously-crafted fan comic! :)

I'm sparing your poor souls from a Cherry ramble under the cut. But for those who wanna peek inside my silly head:

As for what you’re saying about the fic itself…yeah HAHA. You’ve got it down. As someone who’s completely desensitized to their own ideas and the execution of said ideas, I don’t know how obvious all my little underlying themes and ulterior plot lines have been, but your interpretation of it all is pretty spot on. I’m a sucker for forcing characters to face their own truth via IMPOSSIBLE circumstances and then dragging every other character into a whirlpool of chaos and conflict and confrontation in turn. It makes it all the more fun >:)

I’ve been trying to write the characters carefully so their dynamics blend or clash or do anything else that I please, and that means letting them roam free and interact with each other while keeping their special character quirks. I love writing Mob constantly on the verge of guilty instability, Seri having to step his ass up despite his confidence not yet being 100%, Shou and his mysterious ways that are SO worth exploring because he's such a complex character despite not appearing a lot in canon, Ritsu’s impulsive, fear-driven, 13-year-old antics (and that dreaded stop sign), and of course, Reigen and all his pathetic self-loathing. In fact, ALL of them have been incredibly fun to write because ONE has amazing, fleshed-out characters that interact so well together. BUT I’ve been surprised with how much I’ve loved writing Dimple and Teru especially. Dimple’s not hard to write at all for me, but his interactions with the other characters in writing are ADDICTING, and I didn't expect that. I will say this forever, but I want Dimple in more fics because of the POTENTIAL. LET THE FART CLOUD HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT!! As for Teru—you can ask anyone who was around for the first few draft chapters of AH—I was very hesitant to write him at all. I personally think his character is very hard to nail, and I’m honestly surprised at how much the audience has taken to his role and his little moments within the fic—that encouragement and influence definitely made him appear more than I originally anticipated :)

I could ramble for hours about every character and all their inner complexities that I'd love to explore in this work and others. But I will stop myself here hahaha.

Thank you for this sweet little breakdown of what you’re enjoying in AH so far. It makes me feel very happy :) And thank you all for all the support! It really means a lot.

As for my mysterious sickness from a few weeks ago, it has vanished! Student life is crawling with unknown bacteria. It's like you're in daycare all over again, or perhaps a medieval plague ward. Now all I have to do is battle the turbulent trials of finals :’)

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #fanfic #reigen arakata #hanazawa teruki #whump #area hysteria #sweet anons #kageyama shigeo

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yuukei-yikes · 2 years

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takane and shintaros post str codependency is making me insane because theyre both way too emotionally attached to each other and want to beat each other up so bad at the same time. they were all the other had for the longest time and have such a raw unspoken understanding of each other and literally goes insane they remove my brain function and the way you characterize them is so real

NO LITERALLY THEYVE BEEN IN MY FUCKING BRAIN FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS . their feelings for each other are the same and also completely different bc shintaro was takane's entire life and purpose while shintaro didnt KNOW it was even takane so he has to reconcile with that fact and OUGH the i can fix him/i guess i can let her fix me dynamic. they cannot live without each other and its so so so unhealthy and messed up .

ok but relationship therapy for shintaro and takane. and also ayano and haruka are here (haruka organized it) the therapists like i seriously dont fucking understand whos dating who and haruka's like THATS THE FUCKING PROBLEM sry im so insane abt shintaro bringing insanity to harutaka and takane bringing (even more than they already have) insanity to shinaya.

haruka's literally the ONLy one on the fucking loop of whats happening bc ayanos like. she's got so many issues of her own and her relationship with shintaros a mess as well so its not like shes got the emotional tools to do something other than be sad abt it. i think if ayanos the one to say anything she still shields behind haruka like HARUKA ALSO THINKS ITS MESSED UP RIGHT HARUKA? RIGHT RIGHT? PLEAAASE HELP MY CASE and harukas like COME ON. but yeah haruka calling takane out but hes so soft abt it it takes takane like a fucking minute to realise wait are we having a....fight and harukas like i GUESS and takanes like ooooh. ohhhhhhhh thats not good.

haruka tries to be understanding bc IT IS understandable that theyre like this but hes like is it too much to fucking ask that takane stops canceling on me all the damn time. and shintaro is so comfortable with just trusting on takane for everything bc hes like she's so pathetic abt wanting to know whats going on with me and she is THE ONE who saw me at my worst so who else would i turn to lol like takanes more comfortable for him. otherwise whats he supposed to do. open up to a whole new person. hes terrified of the outcome of having someone else(ayano) know him that way.

anyways haruka works on it with takane bc he's like drilling into its head the whole thing and takanes more and more aware of it as it goes on and then sort of has to make the choice to have this sort of messed up break up without dating with shintaro. also maybe around the same time shintaro breaks up with ayano for reals in case uve read my shinaya post. shintaro just got dumped x2 and turns to haruka in his emotional breakdown and since haruka responds not mean spirited or angry at him at all, but kinda tells him u brought it upon yourself like ive been telling u abt this for months so shintaro gets angry at him bc he resorts to being irrational BC HE JUST GOT DUMPEDX2 COME ON so to harukas hes like OHHH SO ITS UR FAULT UVE ALWAYS BEEN JEALOUS OF ME AND TAKANE LIKE EVEN IN HS and harukas like wow. im gonna walk away now. but shintaro to takane is like but ayano just left me?? and this is an issue for haruka too??? maybe we should just be together???RIGHT??? and takanes like WOOOOOOOOOOOW HARUKA WAS RIGHT THIS IS RLY FUCKING WEIRD so now things are weird between haruka and shintaro x2 because he just essentially asked takane to breakup with him. shintaro sort of tries blaming his breakup with ayano solely on what happened with takane when in reality theres just so many other things and its so messy

its a yuukei quartet messy fallout baby. it is so fucking funny.

for ayanos part i think she sorta shuts down for a bit while she seeks help in therapy and stuff and shintaros like spiraling so hes more difficult and for takane its SUPER SUPER hard to not run to shintaro seeing him like That so haruka has to keep her grounded but its not like things are super great between them either bc takanes like shaking with anxiety and haruka feels so guilty and has no one to ask advice to so hes not sure if he did the right thing or not. basically ayanos in therapy keeping distance shintaros sort of having a tough falling back to old habits (goes neet for like a month) and harutaka are trying to work on their relationship lol. thru it all the dans also around so theyre especially of help with ayano and shintaro's episodes.

sorry like this is funny to me ofc they all make up like they come around. shintaro and ayano get back together. shintaro and takane talk to each other like normal people and maybe hug and cry a little bit. haruka wants to sleep for like 2 days.

they make up so its FINE thats why to me this is comedy central like is it not super funny come on. but a little post str misery arc for shintaro there

#ask tag #yuukei quartet #headcanons #im obsessed with them #sry im a talking machine #ayashin divorce

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puff-mmd · 9 months

Text

1/7/24

Need to sleep for work tomorrow and of COURSE, thats when i get a load of yakumo/kaisei development.

Highlights for now:

Kaisei does find out about the abuse yakumo was suffering from his parents sooner rather than later. Its the day of their graduation, and the day before yakumo was terrified of going home. So, he didn't. He stayed out with kaisei and ended up sleeping over at his house. Kaisei is concerned about why he didn't go home, but yakumo wasn't telling him anything, and he knew prying wasn't going to get him anywhere.

At the ceremony, yakumo's parents are there and they end up taking him home with them. That evening is probably one of the worst nights of yakumo's life - his parents had already started packing up his things and they were getting ready to kick him out now that he'd graduated. That's bad enough, but he notices things are thrown into trash bags, and it's a bunch of personal items of his - some even broken or torn from being haphazardly tossed away.

It's been about 2 years since his parents really started dragging him because they found out he was gay, and on this night, something snaps in him. He ends up hitting his dad and his mom tries to intervene, but he probably ends up knocking her over, and that's when his dad threatens to call the cops on him if he doesn't leave.

He does leave, after few expletives about their shitty parenting and how he'd rather be dead than spend another second in that house.

Yakumo doesn't have anywhere to go, and ends up on a park bench somewhere nearby. And yes, the entire time he's thinking about going to Kaisei for help, but he's been trying to keep him from finding out about his parents and doesn't want to worry him.

But when he gets a text from him, asking to hang out and celebrate their first night of freedom, he ends up calling Kaisei and literally just breaks down about everything. Kaisei stays on the phone, and asks yakumo where he's at to come find him.

Yakumo feels guilty for burdening kaisei with these things, but kaisei hugs him tight and reminds him of their promise - he won't ever abandon him.

They go back to kaisei's and he spends the night there. The next day, kaisei and his mom/step-dad take him back to his house (per yakumo's request) to get his things.

After taking all of his stuff, his last walk out he makes sure to spit on the ground and give one last "fuck you and this hell hole" to his parents before leaving.

He ends up staying with kaisei and his parents for a few weeks while he looks for a job to move into a place of his own. Kaisei is also finding work and right now, he's doing his best to help yakumo (who again is still guilty about kaisei helping him so much).

Another plot point happens when yakumo does move out. It's pretty much a wreck of a place, but its cheap and it means yakumo doesn't feel like a freeloader or a burden. Kaisei and his parents help him move in, and yakumo is laying on his 'bed' (for now just a futon on the floor), exhausted. Kaisei comes back in and lays down, cuddling up to him.

"I thought you left with your parents," he says as he puts an arm around kaisei.

"Told them I'd take the bus home later. I wanted to stay with you a little longer."

This night is important to their relationship because i think it's the first time kaisei seriously asks him to be his boyfriend - to which yakumo has a pretty bad aversion. He's not only still extremely sensitive to the fact that he's been berated for so long for being gay, but also he feels pretty worthless as a whole rn. Shitty apartment, replying on his only friend for help, a job that pays a pittance, his only family cut off and no real direction to go.

He frames it as not feeling ready for a relationship, and while kaisei is hurt by this, he understands yakumo is still in a raw emotional state.

Its a few weeks later when they end up having sex, and yakumo straight up has a breakdown indicated by yakumo freaking out and forcing kaisei to leave, that kaisei is really hurt.

He tries to talk to yakumo about it the next day, but he again says he just isnt ready for a relationship - to which now kaisei is angry because, "why the hell did you sleep with me then?"

Yakumo doesn't know what to say or do, so he falls back on his coping mechanism - shut his mouth and say nothing.

Except kaisei isn't a mind reader and while he he can tell yakumo is upset too, he can't figure out what he's thinking. He ends up leaving and the two of them are distant for a while.

Eventually kaisei feels bad about ignoring yakumo, and they slowly start hanging out again. It's awkward at first, but kaisei does his best to look past it. He still really cares about yakumo, after all.

Another major thing happens when yakumo is finally able to move out of his first apartment to his nicer one that he stays in through the rest of the story. This is when they're 20, so it's been about 2 years since the whole graduation thing.

The gist of this is that yakumo convinces kaisei to drink with him in celebration of moving out, and things end up going awry.

Yakumo is getting very intimate and he wants to have sex, but kaisei is apprehensive. He's uncomfortable and doesn't really want to, but at the same time, he kind of wants to try again...

The main thing that makes him want to is yakumo complaining that other guys he was with were so much easier, and he doesn't understand why kaisei is being so stuck up.

Which makes kaisei's heart drop like a stone - that yakumo had slept with other people without him knowing when they weren't hanging out as much.

He drinks more which messes his head up a bit (he thinks that if he drinks more it'll make him want to do it, and then yakumo might like him more, drunk brain logic can be stupid) and they end up having sex. but while they are, yakumo in his drunken state starts getting a bit aggressive. It's not directed towards kaisei; he's muttering about wanting to kill his parents and physically he's getting rougher, which freaks out kaisei and makes him want to stop.

It takes a few minutes, but yakumo stops when he realizes kaisei is crying and visibly upset. He was pretty scared as it was happening, and it's probably something that doesn't leave his mind for a while.

Yakumo tries to calm himself down, and it sort of works - he ends up falling asleep. Kaisei is still drunk himself, and while he's not all that wanting to stay, he doesn't want to wander home in the state he's in either. He stays with yakumo that night.

And for now that is it bc i really need to frickin sleep jfc.

#oc #kaisei #yakumo #rambling #rambles

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chaoticjingyi · 2 years

Text

Just finished twelve moons and a fortnight. It took almost a week and a lot of emotions. Beware of spoilers!! This is essentially a live blogging of it

I AM BACK ! and more prepared to read this than ever. I think I went long enough that I only remember 3 or 4 major bits from this (meishan yu, the amalgamation of all the dead from lotus pier before the sunshot campaign began and wei ying seeing them as acting sect leader, lxc healing a-Qing [which still hurts my soul,,,,its taking from. His life force :((] and if im not wrong, copious letters)

The rest though may be the same as if I was to Iread it for the first time and im looking forward to it.

I have my notes app on the side while I read this bc I am a serial binge reader and need sth to hold onto my thoughts before j forget them, it has happened way too many times ans I end an incoherent mess at every fix when this happens. BUT!! I want to really show how much I love this and I like being detailed. So if this end up crossing the character limit i am not sorry.

Buckle up for the torrent of enthusiasm bc

Here we go !

"crash of someone falling headlong into his room and stumbling over Suibian; he left his sword on the floor with the all the rest of his belongings, which proceed to trip up his mysterious guest three more times before he finally falls against Wei Wuxian’s bed" the mental image here is so funny twin jade of lan sect, stoic man tripping over a sword qjfjskfks aahh but wangxian are so adorable

"he and Wei Wuxian once spent a whole day trying to see which of them could best imitate the contemptuous flapping of Madam Yu’s skirts while Jiang Yanli laughed at them from her desk, only to be scolded and sent to bed early by Jiang Fengmian for skipping their meditation hour. " am I going to end up crying during work hours? Lets hope not, though I won't be surprised if so. Memories of the siblings Yunmeng days always make me emo

"Who’s going to teach him about romance if not Zizhen?”

“I always thought it would be Jin Guangyao.”

>emotional damage meme starts playing in the background of my head<

" I could have perished at your hands, or Wen Ning’s at your command, and still kissed your fingers on Chenqing as I died. " thats a raw fucking line op holy fuck

DASHIXONG 😭😭😭

Jiang cheng gave him Yanli's clarity bell i -🥺 and ofc he is allergic to emotional convos and tells him to shut up ajfjjwgj

"But—Zhenhong, that was Uncle Jiang’s throne, and Madam Yu’s, and—”

Zhenhong blinks—half out of astonishment and half in what looks like understanding, though Wei Wuxian can’t imagine what there is to understand"

*inhale * FUCK Its a trying effort here to keep my eyes dry I keep tearing up every 5 minutes

"do you think Jiang-zongzhu and Yu-furen could have stood it?”

“I—”

“And it was not the idea of a supervisory office that made her attack that Wang woman, either.”

“Wh-What?”

“You were hers , da-shixiong. ”

This entire conversation has made me scream inside my head and brought a raging melancholy I stopped breathing for a second.

"What will a mother not say out of worry, when she fears for the lives of her children?” barks the deputy. “Mine has said worse, I assure you! She could have kept you with her to fight, she knew your brother would meet Jiang-zongzhu and Jiang-guniang within hours of his departure—there was no need for you to go with him! She sent you away for your sake just as much as for Sect Leader’s, and I wonder how with your wit you took so long to realize it!”

Me:

The art at the end of chapter 3 is adorable!!!

"Everything was peaceful and sedate and perfect, and then Lan Jingyi grew old enough to venture out of his parents’ quarters by himself.

The Cloud Recesses never recovered. "

Every day I am reminded of my love for lan jingyi <3 (hence the username :3)

Reading Ouyang Zizhen's letter and he is so sweet. I love he

"I think Xian-gege knows,” Sizhui says at last. “He was thinking about it before Hanguang-jun and Zewu-jun took him to the discussion conference, I could tell. But when I found him at the Guanyin temple, he looked like—like everything made sense. Like he understood something he didn’t before.”

He knows but I don't know if the boys are ready for this knowledge,,,

JIN LING!!!! I am delighted at the junior quartets friendship. Also remembered both the clothes and what happens when a-qung wakes up and im looking forward to it.

"His stomach growls, and he claps his hands over it in embarrassment before Hanguang-jun produces a second bowl and sets them both down on the table along with two pairs of chopsticks. “You too, Jingyi. Eat.” 1. I KNOW its because of wei yings letter. 2. Dad wangji!!!! My heart is warm, my crops are watered and my skin is clear

"for upon receiving your last letter I thought of how ill he was when I found him hidden in the Demon-Slaughtering Cave, and how long it took him to reach a normal height for his age—his growth was stunted for years after that, and nearly prevented his forming a golden core. Rest assured that I will make sure he is fed and well-rested, Wei Ying, for your sake and mine as well as his—he will eat at least once a day with me in the jingshi from now on, unless he grows so tired of it that even his filial tenderness can no longer bear my company. "

This>🥺< is literally my face right now. I may look incredibly ugly but I 🥺😭😭 AHH *Clutches hand at chest* my heart

" I was so happy that it felt as if my heart would break"

I am going to save this for days where I don't have the words. I have felt it before but never had such clear words for it and hhhhh your writing is incredible

"But for now all I can do is pray that Lotus Pier does not go the same way as everything else I have ever tried to protect" actually I think you just like making us sad

The way you capture every characters voice and essence through the letters (in general too but thus isn't abt that) is so good and I am filled with awe and an urge to re read everything though I only have the first volume at home

"kind as well as beautiful, so if someday you wish to marry—you might as well begin here as somewhere else, right? You’ll find someone to match you, sweetheart, someone as brave and good and wise as you are" I am going to go INSANE, xie lian grant me patience for this foolish man. And well. Lwj WILL indeed marry someone from Yunmeng. It IS you wei ying you fool

"“If his first set of standards was because he thought shijie was the best girl in the world, and he wanted a wife like her,” he says at last, “then—Zhenhong, doesn’t it make sense that this set of standards describes someone he already knows? And it’s not Yu-furen, because Yu-furen never—” Wait WAIT IS IT WEN QING

"She sits there for nearly an hour gazing at him in confusion and a little pity, because he wears the same lost look on his face as Daozhang did, right down to the melancholy turn of his mouth and the swollen eyelids that tell of recent tears (because her Daozhang used to cry, and cry often, even though he no longer had eyes to cry with). " EMOTIONAL DAMAGE part 2, electric boogaloo

Lan xichen makes my heart hurt in 7 different ways, 🌊🐴man

(I can now add pics bc tumblr :D )

"Jin Ling worries his lip for a moment and then runs to join them, propriety be hanged. They’ve only got two weeks, and it’s not as if anyone here is going to tell tales to his Uncle Jiang. He flings his arms around Jingyi, and then Sizhui, and then around all three of them before one of the older Jin disciples clears her throat. " they own my heart, im telling u

Drunk jiang cheng made me sad again :( he does deserve to be happy !!! 😭😭😭

Oh boys,,,,, if it is who I think it is u can't help Jiang cheng. The person may be dead already

“He’ll have to visit me every month,” he mutters at last. “You—you have to share him, okay? He’s mine too.”

“Of course he’s yours too,” Sizhui soothes him, sounding suspiciously near tears himself. “You’re his nephew, he’s never going to leave you. Don’t cry, A-Ling. Don’t cry.”

Each word brings me closer to crying aaaaaaahhhh

Lan wangji's letters to wei ying are going to make me swoon oh my goodness. They're in LOVE ND THEY ARE SOULMATES

Wait wei ying is chronically ill and didn't tell anyone? And he ???? Has been since he was summoned????????? and he didn't ask for help??? What is Going On

...And a little bun has been adopted, my heart really cannot take this

"So she smothered,” says Wei Wuxian, stricken. Jin Guangyao, Jin Guangyao—why does it always come back to you in the end? Is there anyone you did not hurt? Nie Mingjue, my shijie, Jin Zixuan, Jin Ling, Lan Xichen, Lan Zhan—even this poor woman, A-Xin, who died and left her son motherless just as your mother left you." hhhhhhhhh

I love that they'll build a women's shelter, and the soul calming ceremonies written a little while back

"Miles away, in the Cloud Recesses, the third disciple class (including a certain young romantic from Ouyang, who is still a year behind his three best friends in the second group) gets a once-in-a-lifetime glimpse of Hanguang-jun blushing over his morning letters and kissing the pages they were written on until his lips go numb.

(Lan Qiren doesn’t break his jade token. He doesn’t. ) " ah wht a blessed sight, i wish I was there

Junior break!!!! !They're adorable. No I will not stop saying that. Them having a picnic and letter meeting at the rabbit field os the cutest thing aaa♡♡♡♡♡♡

"As it happens, however, his lunch isn’t the only thing waiting in his rooms.

A second plate has been laid out across from his, and two cups of tea are already steaming beside the incense burner—and someone is sitting in Lan Wangji’s place at the table, dressed in mourning white without a single ornament in his hair or even a sword at his waist. The man almost looks like a ghost of Lan Wangji’s younger self, in the days after Wei Ying’s death at the Nightless City and his own forced confinement away from the rest of the clan—but then he turns his face towards the door, and Lan Wangji nearly bites his tongue at the realization that it isn’t a ghost at all.

“Xiongzhang,” he chokes, nearly weeping in relief as his brother’s thin hands rise to clasp his own. “It’s good to see you.”

Screaming and nearly crying again </3

"at last my brother lost his patience and silenced him so forcefully that even the two disciples standing near him found themselves unable to talk for the next twenty minutes. Jingyi was in the room at the time, and he has still not recovered from the shock; Sizhui, on the other hand, is steadfastly refusing to believe that it ever happened at all. "Holy shit I love this. Lxc hath become a parent

I really like Healer Pan

Wei yings more serious letters always leave me feeling stricken with sorrow and yet I keep on hoping hr will realize. He does have a home. With lwj as well as lotus pier

Chapter 11 and holy shit you were not kidding Hanguang-jun is SMOOTH!!!!!

"Don’t let him shirk his duties, or I’ll tell Li Shuai about the time you tried to propose to her with Farmer Tang’s ghoul when we were eighteen.

In distress, as usual,

Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin. "

I cannot stop laughing ajfjskfjsjgj

"That settles it, my Lan Zhan. I’ll make you all the soup and seed-cake you want, but stop asking for the porridge.”

“Mn, all right.”

His face is pink again, and this time he’s not sure it’s only because of the congee. " they are SO domestic and this is too cute

“You gave up your life for our son,” Lan Wangji tells him, pressing his chin to the top of Wei Ying’s head. “I could do no less.”

Oh my god. .. oh my god

Story time with wen ning! :D

And the aforementioned trunk of clothes appears!

LMAO HOLY SHIT I FRGIT ABT THE RULE WALL ! lxc is wonderful

"The elders used that one on my younger brother sixteen years ago,” Lan Xichen says grimly. “He was judged for injuring thirty-three clan members after Wei Wuxian was killed, and this was the punishment. But they knew I would speak out against such a harsh sentence, even if it meant I had to take Wangji and A-Yuan and secede from the clan—so they drugged me the night before the trial to ensure that I would sleep straight through it, and then they decided Wangji’s fate in my absence and held me down on the floor in the hanshi with all their spiritual power so that I could not interfere until the beating was over.” my reaction is the same as the kids,,, DAMN

Also no wonder they danced around that fire they were getting rid of some stuff

“I’ve also defaced the wall of sect rules,” Lan Xichen says cheerfully. “And now there are only about two thousand laws left, so perhaps you and the council would like to spend a few hours contemplating the alterations in the morning.” this may be one of my favorite chapters i can't stop re reading it and am v much invested here

"It occurs to him then that despite the presence of the disciples—all of whom, if he remembers correctly, are still younger than eighteen—the most helpless cultivator among them might as well be himself." HHH HOLY SHIT

"don’t you dare write me directly unless it’s an emergency, you hear? I might have a dying brother on my hands, to say nothing of a twice-orphaned baby, because if Wei Wuxian decides to leave us all because of a night-hunt I doubt Hanguang-jun will wait even a day before following him. Damn them both, to hell and back—I’ll drag them both back to life and murder them again if they even think about it, but I suppose the healers and I ought to try saving them first. " Iam going to go feral actually. I'll go outside and scream towards a lake, theres one like a bus ride away, I will go insane. I am having si many emotions i can't name em

I may not have much to say at the hunt this time bc im very drawn in and it must me speechless. But the feeling translated and carried over si well. The pacing incredible

"He pauses, wondering what else might be left to ask, and then—

Was it Yu Ziyuan?

The beast responds to that question by reaching forward and striking him across the face. It doesn’t seem angry, exactly, but the unspoken reply was very clearly a negative one; the cloud of resentful energy looks offended on Madam Yu’s behalf" it has been months, but this scene and what followed throughout the chapter have remained clear in my head ever since the first time reading this. Legitimately unforgettable

"The ghosts come to a halt, then, standing right in front of Lan Wangji’s ward with pensive looks on their faces. Some have clear death-wounds in their chests, and one of the boys wears a gown covered with dull black blood from the cruel gash in his throat—but all of them are looking straight at Li Shuai, and their lips shape her name with open wistfulness; some of the older ones call her A-Shuai, and the children call her Li-shijie, and then they nod once in Lan Wangji’s direction before stepping closer to the ward and disappearing into it.

He feels their spiritual energy pouring into the seals before he sees it in the ward, reeling back at the sudden shock of ninety-one ghostly golden cores taking up arms beside his—ready to defend their sect in death as they could not do in life, and then he finally understands why the land-eater went unnoticed for so long. The ghosts must have been suppressing it until its power surpassed theirs, and then they sought out Wang Hai for help when they could do nothing more—but for them to have taken shape like this, in something resembling their living selves even though their bodies must long since have rotted away—it should have been beyond them to do such a thing, unless…"

I am both in awe and full of wonder and feel as though I'm there. Words do not begin to describe the intense experience it is to read this

Now to the note on ch 18": If you're reading this as a completed work, stop here and take a break if you need one! The night-hunt arc is officially complete, and the recovery arc picks up in chapter 19. :)" ill take your advice this once bc I have to sleep at a reasonable hour

Started chapter 19 and I am shaking. Oh dear

"He took wei ying from him" NOOOO MY HEART

"“Oh, he’ll like it well enough,” the other man grumbles, shoving the finished dinner tray towards him and then pushing him out the door. “Make sure you eat some of it, too, or I’ll have two sick people on my hands instead of one.” as always showing care with food <3

Lan Xichen’s letter to mingjue is utterly heartbreaking, and so is the whipping, no matter how many times I've read it

LXC joins the shipping !!!!

'"Wei Wuxian finds his gaze fixed on his brother’s left hand, and on the faint sparks rising from the serpent-shaped ring glinting there.

“Di-di,” he gasps, trying to fight against the fire in his knees as Jiang Cheng pushes Lan Zhan away and attempts to lift him up. “Don’t whip me anymore, I didn’t mean to—I won’t make trouble for our family again, not as long as I live, please— ”

An utterly stricken look crosses Jiang Cheng’s face, and he stuffs his hand into the pocket of his robes"

FUCK!!! AAHHHHH!!!!! MY HEART!!

Nie huaisang having a tiger is one of the best things in my life now. Good for him good for him

"Wouldn’t you have learned about it anyway, Nie-xiong? Wei Wuxian thinks wryly, as they walk over the high stone gate that separates the training field from the living quarters. You managed to find out the truth about Jin Guangyao and Qin Su, when the only person alive who knew aside from Lianfang-zun was Qin-furen’s maid Bicao. Is there a secret under the sun that you couldn’t bring to the light if you waited for it long enough?"

Okay tbh you'd find me hard pressed to say a mdzs character im not fond of, and ofc the Nies are also some of my favorites. And thi makes me think so much. Because after all is said nd done, after nhs exposed jgy and his schemes and wit came to light, we do know he is clever but he is then also under constant suspicion and scrutiny. And yes he may scheme but didn't he only do tht to avenge his brother? I do believe he is done with it. And yet I also believe he is also very up to date with news and gossip and going-ons. It brings me to mind, how much does he know, and how much of that weighs on him? He doesn't have much family left, most of his friends from his youth have grown apart or may have died at the war. Anyways im very emotional about nie huaisang

''realizes exactly why Nie Huaisang called out in fear on that night in the Guanyin temple, and why he had refused to let Jin Guangyao leave the place alive.

The very last mystery, a voice in the back of his mind seems to say, solved by the simple fact that Nie Huaisang’s loyalty ran deeper than any of us ever knew. "

Many scenes here just make me go "Holy fucking shit man"

"the knowledge that Jin Guangyao’s death was an act of love as well as an act of hate,"

"As for the kisses you owe to me, my heart, you must tell our little son that he is lucky to be receiving them in my place. Such tender gifts are rarer than gold and dearer than the stars, and I will count myself blessed if you deign to give me another. "💘💘💙💙💙💙

"I was used to kissing you whenever the mood struck me while we were still together in Yunmeng, after all, and breaking the habit has been most difficult. I even kissed A-Hong once without thinking about it, and this morning I almost kissed the top of Nie-xiong’s head after breakfast. He took it as a slight to his small stature, though, so he chased me all the way back to my rooms and told me he would feed me to A-Yong if I dared to do it again. " screaming again. They're so married already. And nhs forehead kiss abjdsr that's adorably funny

"Shufu always suspected them, Lan Wangji repeats to himself. The next several years—

“Xiongzhang,” he ventures at last. “The trial they tampered with, was it—”

WAS IT HIS MOM'S???????

[lxc, on the podium: and in conclusion, i will make a-qing a wonderful father and will protect her all my life

lwj, supportive but confused: i agree, brother, but where are the elders?

lxc: in a better place now. sit down immediately]

Some of ur notes are really making me laugh a lot akxksfkskf

Nie Shiyong!!!!! I totally forgot abt her!!! One line and I already lover her

"Nie Huaisang closes his eyes and puts his head in his hands.

“When he brought you back, he brought you back wrong. ”

I, too, am putting my head on my hands. Jesus

“to know the beast is to know the girl, and to know the girl is to know the beast. As a maiden, she is bloodthirstier than most men, and as a tigress, she is gentler than even a house cat." Tbh that's a mood

Ah yes, the qinghe robes

“I was promised a hundred, in your letter,” he whispers, lifting his beloved’s arm again and kissing the heart of his palm. “Will you deny me, my heart?” this was so sweet !!!!!!

The family having a meal together 😭😭😭💙💙💙 and the yearning keeps strong ah Lan zhan hang in there

"Xiao-Yu refuses to take the bee back as they walk to the the city gates to summon their carriage, content merely to watch Sizhui pretend to play with it until the black-painted conveyance comes rolling up the road—which is when the baby falls fast asleep, right before A-Yuan tucks the doll safely under his arm and sits on the bench opposite him to stare in utter adoration" my heart is full and soft. This is absolutely precious

:And Lan Wangji obeys and lowers his head, nearly sobbing aloud as Wei Ying fastens the necklace just below the fall of his hair—because it feels like a moment of marriage, somehow, as if this oath to return to his heart was the first of their bows before heaven." I should really stop (mentally) screaming everytime something gay or cute or emotional happens, I already get daily headaches. But alas I carry much emotion with me

Yes it was extremely gay and extremely tender and I love them. Jiang cheng pls stop being an angry grape and jealous brother wwx won't abandon you after getting married

Holy shit was madam yu betrothed to zhao zhuliu?

OH SHIT

Oh S H I T this is heartbreaking

Damn the amount of harrowing family secrets for each clan ,,,, p a i n

"But the Unclean Realm was only once a second home, because it ceased to be so, after Mingjue was dead. Lan Xichen has not held the place of the sect master's sworn brother for many years, firstly because his sworn brother was gone, and then because he failed him and Huaisang so completely that he did not notice Mingjue’s murder taking place right before his eyes.

I promised you I would take care of Xiao-Sang, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH😭😭😭😭

"My heart was broken the day the council refused to use Inquiry as testament for your mother’s trial, and there was nothing I could do "

IT WAS THE TAMPERED TRIAL WASNT IT???? Also, hhhhhhhhhhhhh big oof for lqr. My heart goes out to him too

"To this day, Wangji insists that there is no need for thanks or contrition between sweethearts.

But in Lan Xichen’s opinion, the old saying holds even truer for brothers, and it always will." This while part,,, i keep saying it but its because it's true. The way emotion is captured through the words is breathtaking and leaves me bereft of words and full of feeling

"Was that at the discussion conference when you woke up with a giant boil on your forehead and screamed so loudly that you woke me up?” Jiang Cheng snorts, swallowing his mouthful of pastry. “Let that morning be forever enshrined in the memory of my disciples, who jumped out of bed and got into emergency formation for a hunt before they figured out what all the wailing was.”

“You’re heartless, Jiang-xiong.”

“But not pimply, though.”

This is amazing ajckskkckskfkej discussing skin care has never been more entertaining

"“Don’t be mean!” Lan Xichen cries, pulling him into his arms. Wei Wuxian feels his mouth drop open, completely forgetting to struggle even when the older man tucks him close to his chest like a mother holding a child that matched her in height, and then he looks toward Jiang Cheng in sheer confusion when Lan Xichen points an accusing finger at him. “Wangji’s head is empty of everything but Wei-gongzi, too. You mustn’t say such things!”

“I know that, Zewu-jun.”

“We all knew that,”

This is delightful and I cannot stop laughing

The lightheartedness of this just, it makes me very happy. Them re doing the list too !!! Amazing, *insert lady gaga meme here*

Ofc , all in agreement Lan Xichen is incredibly beautiful. No arguments to be made

Ans lmao the rankings andjmakdka

"ensuring that the walking talismans are fully replenished (so that it can follow Wei Wuxian on its own, rather than either of them having to carry it) and that it is stuffed with plenty of soft pillows and blankets, not to mention their son’s beloved bee. " I keep trying to picture this but I cant. Does it Just float around him? Slide through the floor? I have no clue and will remain figuring this out

HHHH the WEDDING ROBES!!! lovely mental image, we have been blessed on this fine day

"Lan Wangji found himself wondering where she procured it before noting that the dress was made in the light, layered style of Yunmeng and Baling Ouyang.

Ouyang Zizhen, then, he thinks, hiding a smile at the thought of it. Perhaps he even chose this one for her to wear tonight."

Once again: they're the cutest

HOLY SHIT WHAT A START TO THE BANQUET

"At least—at least it wasn’t the fire.”

Be right back, im gonna go stare at a wall until I get myself together

Also Jin guangshan,,, he can meet me in the fucking pit

"Lan Zhan!” he hears Wei Ying shriek, just as he takes a sip to ensure that the drink will suit his zhiji’s tastes. “That’s honey mead from Baling, not fruit tea! Spit it out, now, or you’ll–”

And then the world goes dark around him, like the feeling of falling into a pleasant dream, right before he wakes up in Wei Ying’s bed the next morning with no memory of how he got there. " im so ready for shenanigans

OH I WAS JOT WRONG! I was thinking about it, and wwxs pains, and nearing the end of this chapter I was like, wait isn't he regaining his scars also? And isn't it the wen brand this time? And it’s was and I was essential surprised pikachu

... but WHY are they appearing? If it due to the ritual? To zidian? A mixture of both or sth else,???

(Both regarding wwx being ill and the corpses in the water) The mystery solving here Is so interesting and *chefs kiss* amazing. I love me a good case solving

Im so confused about the dagger

[Post data- I finished the fic and am no longer confused]

"In which Wei Wuxian finally discovers the truth behind his illness, and the reader learns that stiltonbasket has been lying about the title all along." WHAT

"I heard Shijie calling me,” he whispers, swinging Xiao-Yu up into his arms. “She’s outside all by herself, so we have to go and get her.” oh no just what is happening???

Xiao yu had been saying his a-niang had the knife, and they just said the lining of the robr may have been removed with it. Was Wei ying possessed? And why was he drawn away???

HE *WAS* POSSESSED

I wonder of the ghost was mo xuanyu. "“I think it jumped with me,” he says slowly. “The ghost, I mean. It kept saying it was sorry, and that it wouldn’t have doomed me to death if it knew any better.” you know? Thats my current theory

"but if death occurred, it always came exactly twelve moons and a fortnight after the patient was first healed, though I was never able to determine the reason why before I stopped performing the procedure, even for those whose cores I was certain would be sufficient. "

WHAT? W H A T?

"And then the book falls open to the very last page, displaying a half-finished, familiar array with a tiny caption written underneath it in red ink.

Yanghua advised me to make a replicable array for the core sacrifice, in case it should be needed again. Despite her urging, however, I only consented to create one for healing with the sacrifice of one’s own golden core, instead of the core of a willing participant.

Wei Wuxian picks the book up and closes it.

I didn’t have a choice, a mournful voice echoes in the back of his mind. I was dying, Young Master Wei. "

HO L Y SHIT MO XUANYU HAD IT

I know he wrote a will, but there are 10 chapters left so this mf better not die

This is so intense I can barely pause to write. Holy shit. Empathy

"The array he constructed was half of Wei Ying’s and partly his own invention, and the rest was taken from his memory of the physician’s journal he read in Qinghe" /oh/

"but Mo Xuanyu was certain that his jindan would be more than sufficient to heal him; as long as the core was not wholly used up," then tge passage makes more sense now. If the core is weaker, they will die after twelve moons and a fortnight. His core wouldn't be enough, especially considering that even though Wei ying nonlinear had one, before that he was a genius and remarkably powerful

A mistake. There was an accident which may have been the cause of it all. Oh my goodness

"Not a mistake, Mo Xuanyu tries to say. It was written in the belief that two golden cores would be enough to heal you, and your jindan was not there!"

I am losing my goddamn mind

“Wei Wuxian doesn’t need your core, Lan Wangji,” Jiang Wanyin rasps. “He needs his jindan. He needs mine.”

I mean, I was thinking the same but im still very anxious about it...

“Please,” he sobs, knocking his head against the ground until Lan Wangji can hear the sound of it striking the floor. “I have lived in anguish without a jindan, and I have lived for sixteen years without my brother. I know which between the two is worse, and death would be better than knowing that he suffered and died in such a way, because of me. Please, Lang-furen—I know it will be breaking your healing vows, but this is the only way forth, I pray you—”

Yeah alright now im legit crying,,thank goodness I cried yesterday too or id be sobbing rn

"Brothers, sharing a single core, Lan Wangji thinks dizzily, slumping to the floor. One flesh and two masters of a single jindan, which loves and obeys them both. "

Im speechless once more.

It was a success. I'm so glad. This was a Rollercoaster of emotions

"Rather, he needs what you and Wei-xiong have: a faithful, steady deputy who can handle matters in his stead if necessary, and stand beside him in all things no matter what he must face. Luo Qingyang was once that for Jin Zixuan" MIANMIAN!!!!!!!

Nothing warms my heart more than seeing Jiang cheng and wei wuxian be brothers and being happy

"he is as well and grumpy as ever, which delights Wei Wuxian so much that he pushes him into the lake as a welcome-back present.

Jiang Cheng yanks Wei Wuxian in after him, and it reminds Wei Wuxian so much of the happy winters of his youth that he bursts into tears" now im emotional again, this is making me wanna see my sister 🥺😭💙

FINALLY !!! BETROTHED!!!!! WWX REALIZED HES IN LOVE!!!

"Lan Zhan would probably rather kiss Jiang Cheng than blame Wei Wuxian for any of his troubles."LMAO

"squeezing poor Xiao-Yu like a laundress wringing out a tablecloth." Poor xiao yu skfwkgkskkgkw

"Not yet,” the baby protests, when Wei Wuxian makes note of his observations to Jiang Cheng. “Xiao-Yu is little! Only Papa can say my big name.” PRECIOUS !!! Did u kidnap my donkey andjsj lmao

The junior's shenanigans will never stop being funny. Lan Qing being exasperated and fond of her boys is super relatable too and brought a smile to my face

I am jittery with excitement as Lan zhan goes to wei ying

[Brief trivia note: the Ouyang cultivator who brought Xiao-Yu gifts is his paternal grandfather; Xiao-Yu's birth father is the young master from Baling who challenged LWJ's choice to adopt Xiao-Yu during the discussion conference.] holy FUCK HOW THE TURN TABLES?!!!! AH?!!!! DUDEE

Wen ning 🥺😭😭😭😭pls come back 😭😭

WA IT WHAT???? "Wen Ning drags in a deep, loud breath, crying Jie, Jie, Jie, and takes another staggering step into his sister’s arms. " im going to have to re read the second half of this chapter aren't i

Did Lan xiyan summon wen qing to her body to cure the plague and her baby? Or is it something else? “It was, I think, only out of desperation that Lang Xiyan managed to find a remedy that would cure the blinding distemper.” my mind is running in circles

THE SERVING GIRL?

/oh/ it *is* wen qing. Im-

You really did that holy shit. I deeply appreciate tge explanation on the author notes and am happy to see i did understand and realize. I'm gonna have to re re read this a third time to see the foreshadowing again bc its immaculate holy shit. This is so good

"Upon further reflection, perhaps he ought to think about why A-Hong’s words cheer him as they do.

But Jiang Cheng is nothing if not a master of dismissing such matters entirely, so he finishes the rest of his dinner in silence and hurries off to bed. " must all Jiang men be fools when it comes to love?

“Whatever you may wish from me, it is yours already,” Lan Zhan says solemnly. “Our marriage bows have nothing to do with it. Have we not lived as zhangfu and xiang-gong these last thirteen months, my heart?" Im going to get cavities.

The wen siblings arrived to gusu!!!!!! 💙💙💙

"Wei Wuxian slumps back onto the floor like a miserable red pancake as he stares up at the rafters. " I too am crying over wen qing. Also 'miserable red pancake 'ajfjskfkskkf

"Wei Wuxian obeys with his heart in his throat, and blushes so fiercely at the thought of the day to come that Wen Qing giggles herself into a coughing fit. " 🥺🤣🤣🤣

lmao MIANMIAN! Telljng the "are you in love with maiden Luo? " story ajfjamfkskgkskgi prime material always to poke fun at wangxian

THEYRE MARRIED YOUR HONOR 😭🥺🥺💙💙💙💙🥺🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙💙💙💙

"Mm, I know. It’s the same with A-Hua, even though I didn’t give birth to her. She’s mine, the best of me, and she’s going to have everything she could ever want.”

MY HEART!

[a look into the future at Ouyang Zizhen and A-Qing's wedding day! Much baby fluff, feels, and hijinks to follow. <^-^>] !!!!!! IM EXCITED FOR THIS!!

"for the Cloud Recesses loves its troublemakers dearly, and nobody weeps more bitterly than its master when one is finally married away from the sect. " you keep coming out with Bangers for lines these are so good

Aaahhhh my heart!!!!! A single tear of joy dropped from my face as I finished reading sjskciaufis. This was so good !!!!!!! I mm going to go on and read everything in this series of course. I hope I wasn't too bothersome with my long ass coment, quotes and all

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

@stiltonbasket

#the untamed #the untamed fanfic #twelve moons and a fortnight #twelve moons and a fortnight verse #me screaming

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