#so happy i came back to the band after like four years

[eletainart]

And another Happy Holidays ghoodle for you, ghesties Copia and his rats over here

[heavenlyheesire]

i could take away your hurt

WHO : rockstar!jay x fem!reader

GENRE : fluff, childhood best friends to lovers!au, ft. the boys of enhypen (lmk if there's anything I missed)

SYNOPSIS : in which your four best friends start a band and you happen to have the biggest crush on the frontman aka your childhood best friend

WC : 7349 words

˗ˏˋ  ur listening to :: 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER's heartbreak girl ˎˊ˗

1:55 —————————•—————— -3:18

♪ i'm right here when you gonna realize that i'm your cure ♪

Growing up with four boy best friends was indeed something you wouldn’t brag about. Especially when those four boys were your neighbors. And still are. Even though the members have moved out of their parents’ houses and lived in a rented house together, there wasn’t a day that passed when one of the four came by their parents’ place to annoy the living shit out of you. 

Heeseung, the eldest of the five, lived to the left of your house. You remembered when you first moved to his neighborhood and he had introduced himself to you the minute you stepped out of the car. He was excited to finally have someone to play with since his older brother didn’t like his company so much. So after two weeks of unpacking and getting the house settled and completed, Heeseung came over to hang out with you. The first thing you guys did together as kids was play a game of basketball. Which in turn, led you guys to become buds with Jake. 

Jake, the third oldest of the five, lived right across the street from you. He was in the front yard with his dog, Layla, when he saw you and Heeseung playing. Happy to finally have new friends in the neighborhood, he went inside to tell his mom he was gonna be across the street with Layla to play with some kids. Running over with Layla in tow, he shyly asked: “can I play with you?” You turned to Heeseung and he nodded his head. Jake smiled brightly and grabbed the ball to shoot in the hoop. Two weeks later, you, Heeseung, and Jake were playing fetch with Layla in his front yard when you met Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon, the youngest of the five, lived right next to Jake and across the street from Heeseung. He had been at the park that was five minutes away from the neighborhood with his mom, little sister, and dog, Gaeul, when he needed to go to the bathroom. Walking back to his house with Gaeul leading the way, he hummed a song his mom had on repeat that morning. He looked to the right of him and saw you, Heeseung, and Jake playing with a big fluffy dog when the dog suddenly barked at him, making the three of you turn in unison. You had softly told him, “your dog is so pretty, what’s its name?” Sunghoon blushed a little bit and said while looking at the ground, “her name is Gaeul.” You smiled at his shyness, “come hang out with us.” He looked up and nodded. A month later, Sunghoon introduced you guys to his cousin, Jay. 

Jay, the second oldest of the five, lived to the right of your house and happened to be cousins with Sunghoon. The day you met Jay, you and the boys were sitting in Sunghoon’s game room playing on the Wii when his mom had called you all for lunch. Walking downstairs with your belly’s empty and hungry, you sat at the table ready for whatever Mrs. Park had conjured up. She had made cheese tteokbokki, which was devoured within minutes. After sitting at the table, full and satisfied, the doorbell rang. Sunghoon had gotten up to answer it and came back with a boy around your age. “Guys, this is my cousin Jongseong, he just came back from visiting his family in Korea” Sunghoon informed the gang. Jay looked at the boys and smiled at you then said: “you guys can call me Jay!” There was a series of okay’s from the other two boys but you just stared and slightly nodded. 

That was all you remembered from hanging out with them. You got home that night, got ready for bed, and stared up at the ceiling, thinking of Jay’s boyish smile. And that was the moment you knew you were infatuated with him.  

Years went by and you all got older and that bond between the five of you grew stronger. 

You were there for each other for your first heartbreaks, your first kisses, your first relationships, and everything in between. But for every first Jay had, you wished it was you in those moments with him. Even after all those years of being best friends since the ripe age of 7, of sharing secret glances, slow dances in the living room, and holding hands during scary movies, you were still best friends, but oh how much you wanted to be more. The way Jay was always there for you, how he held you when you cried and was your shoulder to lean on. It all made you warm and fuzzy inside and made your heartache. 

At the start of your guys’ senior year of high school, you had realized your crush on Jay was getting you nowhere. So you decided to get into a relationship to hopefully get over this little crush on him. And you did, although, there was a small part of you that hoped you and Jay would end up together someday, somehow. 

Laying around in Heeseung’s garage with the door open, the five of you decided to play Guitar Hero. Jay was on the guitar, Sunghoon was on the drums, and Jake, Heeseung, and you were on vocals. The game counted down from five, and Sunghoon hit the drums to signal the group. Jay followed strumming his guitar and Heeseung sang into the mic “I've been roamin' around, always lookin' down at all I see, painted faces fill the places I can't reach.” Jake continues the next lyrics, “you know that I could use somebody, you know that I could use somebody.” You looked at the four boys and shyly sang next, “someone like you and all you know and how you speak, countless lovers under cover of the street.” You passed the mic around and went back and forth singing the lyrics. 

Jay looked at you letting loose and having fun for the first time in a while and he felt his heart swell with pride. You looked so happy being with the four and all he wanted in that moment was to always be the cause of it. The cause of your smile, the cause of your laughter, the cause of your overall happiness. Something in him had always felt different about you. Maybe, it was the fact you had known each other since you were seven, or maybe it was because you were the first female who had found him cute, besides his family of course. Whatever it was, he had known from that fateful summer day ten years ago, you were someone he wanted to hold onto for as long as he could. 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he focused on the red, blue, green, and yellow dots passing on the screen in front of him. Excitement filled the veins of the five as they were nearing the end of the song. Jake, Heeseung, and you sang your final line together, “I've been roamin' around, always lookin' down at all I see.” Sweat dripped down your guys’ forehead as it was 100 degrees outside, you all drank out of your water bottles. “Hey Seung, I’m gonna go get a water bottle from inside, I finished mine '' you panted. Jay hurriedly got up from his spot on the couch and held out his bottle, “you can have mine, I’m not thirsty.” You grabbed it out of his hand, “are you sure, because you look like you need one.” Jay smiles and looks at the ground shaking his head, “I’m good, seriously, you take it.” 

You all look towards the screen waiting for the game to load your final score. A couple of seconds later, a big 100 pops up on the TV and you all jump up and down and land yourselves into a big bear hug. Smiles and laughter could be seen and heard from you all. Once you separate from the hug and lay on the big couch in Heeseung’s garage, Sunghoon stands up and looks at the four of you with a devilish grin. Jake looks to the left of him then the right and back to the boy in front of him, “oh no, I don’t like the look on your face.” Sunghoon rolls his eyes at that but says “it’s nothing bad, but what if… we started a band?” Everyone looks around and smiles, excited for what was to come. 

It’s been three years since you got into a relationship with your boyfriend. He was sweet and kind, but oh so frustrating. He never understood your point of view on anything and tried to control everything you did. You argued day and night over everything and anything. It was a never-ending battle between the two of you. None of the boys liked your boyfriend, they thought he was entitled, narcissistic, and controlling. You know you should listen to them, but sometimes you felt like he was the best you were ever gonna get.

“Jongie~, my heart hurts, I can’t believe he said that to me,” you said over the call. Jay puts his phone on speaker, “wait, what’d he say again? I didn’t quite catch it, love.” Love. Love. It was things like that made you wonder if he felt the same way about you that you once had for him and maybe still do. You scoff remembering what your boyfriend had told you an hour ago, “he said I shouldn’t be friends with you and the guys anymore because apparently and I quote ‘the boys have the hots for me and are only friends with me because they wanna sleep with me’ what an asshole huh.” He sits up angrily, “he said what to you?” Nodding your head, you respond to your best friend “yes!! Like who in their right mind tells their girlfriend that her best friends only want her around to hopefully fuck her? That is so fucked like damn, good to know he thinks of me as just a hole.” He rolls his eyes just thinking about your boyfriend, “you’re not, he’s just a bitch, I don’t know why you stay with him when he treats you like shit.” You sigh and look away, “Jong, we’ve been over this a thousand times already.” “And yet, I still don’t understand why, you’re an amazing girl, you’re beautiful, gentle, kind-hearted, selfless, any guy would be lucky to have you,” he tells you as if he doesn’t say these exact words every week to you when you and your boyfriend fight. This time you roll your eyes, “I just… I don’t think I’ll ever deserve anything better than him.” Jay stayed silent, letting his brain process your words and he was confused. How could you, the most gorgeous and angelic person he’s ever gotten the privilege of knowing, think so low of herself? He finally says “you should, just, leave him” and be with me Jay thinks. He lets that thought linger in his mind before letting it go. The silence between you two is comfortable, although a bit heavy. Letting out in a soft sleepy voice, “thanks for being a friend Jongie… I’ll call you tomorrow at 10.” He hums in response and the call ends. 

Thanks for being a friend. 

It was something you always said at the end of every call that infuriated both of you. Jay hated that you only thought of him as a friend and you hated that you had to bury these old feelings for your best friend. As you both lay in bed waiting for sleep to whisk you away, you thought maybe one day, someday. 

Walking into the studio, Jay goes to grab his guitar, “you guys ready to practice?” A round of yes is heard from the boys until Heeseung says “ hey, where’s Y/N? She’s always here to tell us if we sound good or not.” He tunes his guitar before responding, “she and her idiotic boyfriend got into a fight, again, so Gaia and Sunoo took her to go shopping to get her mind off it.” The boys all groan out loud wishing their best friend was there with them. Jake speaks up, “at least she’s with them instead of that tool… are we practicing the new songs Jay wrote today?” Sunghoon shouts from behind his drum kit “yes we are, Jay I don’t care what you think, we need to practice those songs.” Jay shrugs his shoulders, “fine, we’re performing them tomorrow anyway, might as well.” Gasps are heard from everyone around the room, “are you sure about this Jay, Y/N’s gonna be at the show tomorrow” Jake utters. Sunghoon follows up “yeah and you wanna perform the songs you wrote about her?” Jay stops strumming his guitar and thinks okay maybe adding those songs to the setlist without telling them was a bad idea. He starts tapping his foot on the ground, “you guys are reading too much into it, I just thought maybe we could perform something new for the fans.” Murmurs from the boys put Jay at ease and once everyone’s ready and gives a thumbs up, Jay counts them in, “okay… 1, 2, 3…” 

… 

Knocking on your door startled you from the book you were reading. The door to your bedroom opens and Jay pops his head in. He laughs at you holding your chest and your heavy breathing, “did I scare you angel face?” You grab a pillow from your bed and launch it toward him but he dodges it, “that isn’t funny Jong, I almost had a heart attack.” Jay laughs even harder, falling onto your bed and crushing your poor dog, Cheshire. A scared bark rings out from under him and he immediately gets up. His eyes wide, he looks from you to your dog, “Chessy I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Petting her chocolate brown fur, he looks up at you and mouths the word sorry. You mouth back it’s okay. “Why are you at my house anyway? It's 8 pm and you have a show tomorrow” you question your best friend. He looks around the room trying to come up with an excuse, “uhhh, my mom needed help with something around the house and I thought I’d come to visit you and Chessy over here.” He grabs the small dog and hugs her, but she jumps out of his arms and runs out the door. You laugh at this, “you do know she doesn’t like you, right?” He nods at you and smiles. You grab this hand to inspect his calloused fingers, running yours over the rough skin. The light music you had on in the background played into the comfortable silence around the both of you. “Are you excited for the show tomorrow? Seung told me you were playing some new songs, can I hear them early?” You excitedly asked the handsome man sitting right next to you. He roughly shakes his head “nope no, that’s not happening, you get to hear them tomorrow with the rest of the Novas.” Whining out loud, you say “oh come on, I’m Blood Moon’s best friend and first fan, don’t I at least get some special treatment?” Jay scoffs “you get to watch our rehearsals, but I can tell you the titles of the songs, that is if you want to know them.” A minute of silence goes by without Jay telling you anything. You jump out of the blankets and stand on the bed, “out with it Park!!!” Jay smiles at your excitedness but still waits for a couple of beats. Frustrated, you slap his toned bicep, “Jongseong~, tell me already!” He puts his hands in the air, “okay I surrender, now stop hitting me… the new songs are Just Saying and~ Heartbreak Girl.” 

The venue Blood Moon was performing at was big, the biggest stage they’ve ever played to date. The four boys were hanging in the dressing room, getting their nerves under control, but a particular frontman was panicking. “Jay, please sit down and drink some water,” Heeseung tells the younger boy. Sunghoon speaks next, “everything is gonna be alright cousin, chill out.” Jake leans out from the bathroom shouting “and please stop pacing, it’s making me anxious!!” Jay sits on the small couch next to the mirror and huffs, “what if she doesn’t like the songs? What if she figures out they’re about her and hates me forever? Guys, what if she figures out I’ve been in love with her since we were seven?...  I can’t do this, I can’t go on.” He suddenly starts breathing heavily and the three boys hurry over to the couch. Jake responds, “listen, she’s not gonna hate you, you’ve been best friends forever and she won’t break that up because of some silly songs okay.” Sunghoon yells out the open door to the dressing room, “can someone bring us a bag of ice!?” Heeseung reassures Jay, “Jong, it’s gonna be okay, you have to trust us and you have to trust yourself.” 

After a few minutes, you walk in with a bag of ice in one hand and your phone in the other. Your hand angrily typing, you say “here’s that bag of ice you wanted.” Heeseung jumps out of his seat, walks to you, and gives you a hug, “you’re an angel, give it to Jay and put it on his chest please.” You look around wondering what happened to your best friend that he needed ice. You spot him on the couch and sit next to him, “what happened Jongie?” Jay grabs the ice from your hand and places it on his racing heart, “just nervous for the show is all.” The ice helped to calm his growing anxiety and nerves down. Looking towards the rest of the boys on the other side of the room, they nod their heads. You ask him “are you sure? You’ve never been this nervous before a show though.” He laughs, “well, there’s a first for everything.” You laugh along with him until your phone rings. Looking down at the screen, you roll your eyes and angrily type out a message again. Scoffing out loud and laying back on the couch, you rub your eyes. Jay notices your off behavior, “what happened to you?” You sigh out loud and fold your legs to your stomach, “Just a stupid argument with he who shall not be named.” Not again Jay thinks but keeps that thought to himself. Jay utters “what about this time?” You sigh, “he wanted me to hang out with him instead of coming to your guys’ show.” He doesn’t say anything, thinking about what you said. Lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice your loving stare directed towards him. 

The argument with your boyfriend has made you realize a lot. Being with someone who only ever wanted to fight over stupid, meaningless things was truly so frustrating to everyone around you as well as yourself. You realize why be with someone who treats you like a trophy when the guy who has always had your best interest in mind was right in front of you. Maybe it was time to come to terms with your ever growing feelings for your best friend and confess, even if it ruins the bond you cherished so deeply. The day was full of firsts for everyone. 

… 

“Okay everyone, you’re on in five, please be ready and by the stage” one of the stage managers yelled from the hall. The boys were scrambling to their feet and jumping in front of the mirror for their finishing touches. Shattered yells of “do I look good” and “let’s go” are heard from the boys. You shake your head at your best friend’s antics, “you all look fine, now hurry up to the stage, I’ll be in the front with Gaia and Sunoo cheering you on!!” Jay looks at you one last time before jogging over to the door and giving you a hug, “thanks for being here for me, uhhh, for us.” Smiling at his small slip-up, you hold him against you tighter wishing this moment would last forever. 

The crowd cheers and screams. An uproar of fans shouting Blood Moon over and over again. It was exciting to finally be able to see your best friend’s band perform again after a couple of months. The lights went down and everyone in the arena shouted and jumped for joy. As the music for “Flicker” played, suddenly everyone went silent. Jake sang first and everyone instantly fell in love, “It feels like we’ve wandered every day in search of each other”, Jay continues, “and been facing each other across different spaces,”, Heeseung goes on “from a far distant place, yeah, yeah,”, and Jake finishes off the first verse, “across countless nights.” The song continues on with loud chants and cheers from thousands of Novas in the crowd. They sang along and enjoyed the music as the show went on. You were in awe of the boys’ performance. 

They once had pestered you about joining in on the fun when they first started, but despite your love for music and singing, you knew you could never perform on a stage without the feeling of utterly throwing up. So you settled on being the bands’ number-one fan and supporter, which the boys appreciate so very much. 

The music slowed and the lights brightened. Jake had been cocky about how passionate their fans were but no matter how many Blood Moon shows you’ve been to, Novas’ energy and sheer love for the band always managed to shock you. It was heartwarming to know so many people listened and enjoyed the music your best friends were so devoted to making. 

“Welcome to the Under the Moonlight Tour, we are Blood Moon,” Jay says into the mic, “how we feeling so far?” Novas everywhere in the arena shouted and hollered for the boys, ready for the rest of the show. The four boys on stage laugh and hold their hearts, overwhelmed with the amount of love and support they got back. Sunghoon grabs his mic, “guys, they’re already this excited and it’s only been four songs, I wonder how they’re gonna feel when we perform the next song.” 

Sunghoon hits the drums causing the lights to go down again and the rest of the four follow. The music to a song you know all too well playing all around the arena. It was the first song Heeseung had written and the first song the boys had ever shown to you as a band; although the song was a little cringy to you at first, it quickly became one of your favorites and held so much meaning to the five of you. It still upsets you that they never put it on official streaming services, but you’re sure you can make the boys cave in one day. 

Dancing along to the lyrics beside Gaia, your girl best friend, and Sunoo, Gaia’s boyfriend. Sunoo was holding her in his arms and singing the lyrics to her while they enjoyed each other’s company. You wanted what they had but with the boy on stage who always looked for you in the crowd. After the show, I’ll tell him you think. 

Heeseung stopped playing his guitar and turned to the front row, looking for someone. Once he had you in his sights and locked eyes, he sang, “but now who knew, that she’s in the crowd of my show.” You roll your eyes at him but sing along to the music. “Nothing to lose, she’s standing right in the front row, the perfect view,” Heeseung continues “she came along on her own, and there’s something that you should know.” He points at you then Jay, smirks and winks right back at you, leaving you flustered. Out of the four boys, Heeseung was the only one who knew about your crush on Jay. More like forced it out of you when you were twelve years old at the annual summer party your neighborhood hosted. You did however suspect Jake and Sunghoon caught on to your feelings for Jay, and if they did know, they never said anything to you, thank goodness. The song continued with everyone being super hyped because them playing “Try Hard” only happened once in a blue moon. 

“Try Hard” ended and although everyone was bummed, they were equally happy to have experienced it live. Jake played his bass still and talked into the mic, “they really liked that one huh?” He laughs at his joke and continues, “we’re glad you liked it, it’s one of our favorites too, but I’m gonna slow it down even more, uhm, this next song, a very special song, it’s about a girl named Amnesia and it goes something like this.” They start playing the chords and all around the arena, Novas start to quiet down and sing along softly. 

Jake wasn’t lying, it truly was a very special song. You remember when they first played it for you. You, the boys, Gaia, Sunoo, and his two friends, Jungwon and Riki, were having a bonfire late at night on the beach. It was chilly and the breeze caused your skin to form goosebumps and the fire to burn even brighter. Jay and Heeseung had brought their guitars along and lightly started to strum them. It was a soft melody that left you feeling nostalgic and somewhat sad. They sang the lyrics into the open air and you were in awe. You had no idea they could write a song so emotional yet so beautiful. Toward the end, you got teary-eyed and snuggled closer into your sweater paws. Sunghoon turned to face you and chuckled, wrapping the blanket he had around the both of you and giving your head a soft peck, which in turn caused Jay to frown and look at the sand beneath his feet unbeknownst to you. 

All those memories came flooding back and before you knew it, you were crying. Gaia turned to her right and saw your tear-stricken face. She immediately grabbed your face and wiped your tears away. You smiled at her sweet actions and hugged her in return. Turning back to the stage, you see Jay looking at you so you give him a tip-lipped smile and a thumbs-up. He goes back to rocking out on stage but making sure to keep an eye on you. 

Every emotion known to man rushes through Jay as the next few songs fly by. He knows what songs are coming next and he wasn’t prepared for it at all. He has no idea why he’s so nervous. He’s performed for big crowds and important music industry people; however, no one as important as you. His hands were clammy and his voice a little shaky, he tried to shake it off, tried to make the anxious feelings go away. He looked at his fans, at his brothers on stage with him, nothing seemed to work. But the moment his eyes landed on your figure, like a weight lifted from his shoulders, everything was lighter. Everything vanished from his vision and it was only you and him in the arena as if a spell was cast on the two. So mesmerized by you, that he forgot where he was altogether. 

Heeseung’s next up to talk, “so Novas, as you know we all write songs together, BUT these next two are written purely by our sexy leader Jay, so let’s give it up for him!!” The crowd cheers and you cheer along with them. Jay gets shy and turns toward Sunghoon’s drum kit to hide his blush. He drinks some water and says into the mic, “question for all our Novas, can you keep a secret?” Thousands of yes’s are shouted into the air, startling the boys on stage. Jay laughs, “okay good, because the next ones are new and have never been played for anyone before, so let’s keep this between us.” 

“You got a boyfriend and he's a total loser, all your friends tell you that he's got no future, but they like me, just saying” Jay starts, “he barely takes you out and if he does he's late, and when the check comes he always makes you pay, I'd never do that, just saying.” 

Gaia grabs your hand and you start dancing around to the beat when your phone rings in your pocket. Pulling it out, you look at the screen and see it’s your boyfriend, so you hit decline. Going back to the show and trying to ignore your phone until it becomes unbearable. “What is it that you want now?” you say into the phone once it’s up to your ear. Your boyfriend scoffs on the other end of the line “don’t even start with your bullshit already, not when you ditched me for those losers of best friends you have.” It’s unbelievable how you’ve put up with this for three years straight. Rolling your eyes, you ask again, “what?” He says with a matter of fact tone, “I want you to leave the show and come be with me. Now.” At his ghastly request, you hang up the phone and return back to the show just in time for the final chorus. “You should leave him, ‘cause it really makes me sick, just saying, just saying, you don't need him, I'll help you get over it, just saying, just saying, when you change your mind, I'll be waiting 'cause I'm better than him, just saying, when you change your mind, I'll be waiting, just saying, just saying.”

Barely catching the final lyrics of the song, you look towards Gaia, “was that song about what I think it’s about?” She slowly turns toward you, “if you’re talking about your shitty, short dicked boyfriend, then yes.” Suddenly everything made sense. The compliments, the stares he thinks you didn’t notice every now and then, the protectiveness, the way he absolutely hated your boyfriend. Did he have feelings for you or were you just reading in-between the lines and hearing what you wanted to hear?

Jay looked in your direction, scared to see your reaction only to find you with a confused look on your face. He was terrified and worried you wanted nothing to do with him after this show. Despite his anxieties, he held it through and kept going. Continuing into the next song, Jake sings the opening lyric, “you call me up, it’s like a broken record, saying that your heart hurts that you'll never get over him gettin' over you, and you end up crying and I end up lying 'cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do.” Gaia turns towards you and smirks, “oh this song is 100% about you, for sure.” You scoff while hitting her shoulder in disbelief, trying to listen to the music. Jay walks up to the mic and sings, “and when the phone call finally ends, you say ‘thanks for being a friend,’ am I going in circles again and again.” The next few lyrics have you shocked. 

“I dedicate this song to you. 

The one who never sees the truth.

That I could take away your hurt, heartbreak girl.

Hold you tight straight through the daylight.

I'm right here, when you gonna realize that I'm your cure?

Heartbreak girl.” 

All you could think to do was stare with your mouth wide open in shock. 

You stare at the man who’s been by your side your whole life. The man who watched you go through the different phases in your life. The man who never judged you for those phases but instead supported you. Were you truly that blind to never notice his affection for you? You tried to focus on the lyrics, tried everything to focus on your best friends, but all you could think about was your racing heart. Your eyes found Jay’s and suddenly, everything was alright. Something inside of you felt like everything would turn out okay. You smiled at him and your heart did a little flip. Feeling your phone buzz in your pocket, you quickly grabbed it. The message your boyfriend had sent completely did it for you. 

HIM : what the hell is your problem? ur acting

like such a bitch right now, i just wanna spend 

time w you and you dont even care wtf 

It was the final straw. You couldn’t put up with it anymore. All the nonsense fighting and the stupid arguments. There was no point in being in this relationship if you were unhappy. 

YOU : We are over. Don’t contact me anymore. Bye. 

Shoving your phone back into your pocket, you look up only to find Jay staring at you with concern. Suddenly, all those negative thoughts and insecurities about your now ex-boyfriend faded as soon as you saw his chocolate-brown eyes. Your mind occupied with Jay and Jay only. You lightly shook your head and melted into a smile wishing for time to speed up so you could finally confess your feelings to the man who’s always held your heart. 

...

The show was winding down to its last song and although the fans were sad, you on the other hand were buzzing with excitement and nerves. 

Sunghoon grabs the mic and says “I wanna say thank you to every single person that is here, you rule!” Jay speaks next, “thank you for listening to our music, thank you for coming down today, and thank you for being awesome in general! Thank you very much!” Jake yells into the mic, “give it up for you guys!” Heeseung laughs, “last song we’re gonna play is a cover of Barbie Girl!” which makes everyone in the arena shout. Jay turns toward you and says “this is Orange Flower You Complete Me, thank you so much! Sing along if you know it! Good night!”

Heeseung and Jay strum their guitars, Sunghoon hits the drums, and Jake strums his bass and sings the opening line, “I was, I was far, I was falling before you shined on me, it was dark, it was dark, it was dark before you woke me up.” Sunghoon continues, “you have a flower in your hand and you smile brightly at me, yeah.” Jay follows up next, “the curse is gone, so I’m yours right now!” 

Dancing and singing along to your favorite song from their new album with your best friends without a care in the world is truly a moment you’ll never forget. Something about those times when it’s only happiness and joy and nothing else that makes you want to freeze time so you can always feel this way. The song goes on with you shedding a few happy tears and taking in the uproar your four best friends have made. It’s crazy to think just three years ago they were practicing in Heeseung’s garage horribly to performing for thousands of fans. 

“In full blossom, I feel you yeah, like the flower language of love, only you fill me up” Jay sings ending the song. The crowd cheers the loudest they ever have, startling the boys a bit. They grab some water and stand in the middle of the stage. Holding hands, they take their final bow of the night. They all say into the mic, “we’re Blood Moon, we love you so much, get home safely!” The four boys wave goodbye to their fans and start their journey to the dressing room. 

As the house lights came on, Gaia grabbed your shoulders and hugged you. She clears her throat, “good luck babe.” You chuckled at her words and hugged her tighter, grateful for her support. Pulling away from her embrace, you give her a smile and nod your head, “thank you, Gee, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sunoo comes up behind Gaia and takes hold of her waist, “hey honey, we gotta go soon.” 

Gaia nods and smiles as Sunoo gives her a forehead kiss, “okay Sun, I’ll meet you in the lobby, I’m gonna walk Y/N back to the guys’ dressing room.” He nods and waves goodbye to you. Walking to the entrance of the arena, he calls out, “good luck Y/N, go get your man!!” You turn to your best friend and she laughs. “You told him!?” you question the girl next to you. Gaia chuckles, “he overheard us on the phone once!!” 

Walking down the corridor to the dressing room, your palms get sweaty and your insides start to turn. Never has a hallway been this long before. Never has your heart raced this fast before. Never has your mind thought this many thoughts before. Never have you ever doubted yourself this much before. 

What if it’s all just a big misunderstanding and he means all those things as a friend?

What if he was directing all those things to the girl behind me?

What if when I confess to him he’ll realize he doesn’t actually want me? 

What if it’s all some ruse to humiliate me in front of our best friends? 

Gaia shakes you back into reality, “girl are you okay?” Blinking the negative thoughts away, you nod and shyly say “yeah, just a tad bit nervous is all.” The girl in front of you playfully rolls her eyes, “you got this, I love you, tell me everything tomorrow!!” Gaia embraces you again and you whisper “I will, now go get back to YOUR man.” You watch her as she happily skips back to her lover and wish you could feel that way. 

Letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, you stare at the closed door of the dressing room. You close your eyes and gather your thoughts, trying to prepare yourself for what’s about to come. Lightly knocking on the door, you wait until you hear a faint “come in”. 

Your shaky hands grab a hold of the doorknob and slowly enter the room. Closing the door behind you, you turn around and see your four boys. Somehow, when the four boys who were laying on the couch came into your vision, all those nerves and doubtful thoughts went out the door. 

The four boys stand up to greet you, “Y/N!! We hope you enjoyed the show, thank you for coming!!!” You smile at their excitement and respond, “you guys did so good, I’m blown away by your performance every time I see you live!!” Their faces turn shades of pink and red and they start murmuring thanks. Making eye contact with Jay, you shyly smile at the ground. 

Jay clears his throat, “um hey Y/N, could I talk to you? Privately?“ The words you’ve dreaded to hear since they played Just Saying not too long ago. You look up at your best friend and slightly nod. Shuffling is heard from the 

back of the room as well as coughs. Jake looks around before scratching his head and says “we’re gonna go help pack up the equipment, see y’all later.” The younger ones follow Heeseung out the door with Sunghoon closing it shut leaving you and Jay alone for the first time that day. 

The two of you stood in a comfortable silence, neither of you wanting to speak up first. 

Choosing to break the silence, you utter “you and the guys did so good out there tonight, I’m so proud of you!” Jay smiles at the ground blushing then looks back at you. He responds “thank you, love, I’m glad you decided to come tonight instead of hanging with your boyfriend, as horrible as that sounds.” You shake your head and laugh at his statement. Shakily, you say, “ummm he’s not my boyfriend anymore.” 

Jay’s heartbeat picks up and he internally smiles. Never has he been so excited and elated to receive such devastating yet amazing news. He pretends to ponder on what you said, “oh is that what happened during the show?” You nod your head at him, trying to work up the courage to tell him how you really feel about him. There’s another moment of silence between you two. Jay scans your figure then your face and decides to just take the risk. 

“Fuck it,” Jay says under his breath. He grabs your waist, pushing you against the cold door of the dressing room, his hands tracing your curves, and smashing his lips on yours. Shocked at first, you stood there not knowing what to do until he bit down, nibbling at your lower lip. You finally come to your senses, moaning into the kiss, and move your lips against his.

Fireworks set off in your stomach and you thought your heart might just explode. It was like something you’ve never felt. You’ve kissed plenty of guys before but it never felt like this. It never felt like you wanted to give up everything and run away to a far-off place with them. It never felt like floating on top of cloud nine into heaven. Heart swelling with so much happiness and joy, you couldn’t help but shed a few tears. 

Jay pulls away from your soft plush lips, resting his forehead on top of yours, relishing in this moment. Suddenly, the both of you hear shuffling from the other side of the door. The sound of deep huffing and puffing as well as Heeseung shouting “just put us all out of our misery and admit it already!” You laugh along with Jay and your other best friends through the door. His eyes still closed, breathing in your sweet scent, he finally says the five words you’ve longed to hear since you were seven: “I’m in love with you.” 

Full of emotions, you couldn’t help but burst into tears again. Jay, concerned about your reaction to his love confession, grabs your face in his hands and hurriedly lets out “oh my God, why are you crying?! Does me being in love with you disgust you that much!?” Shaking your head, you laugh, “no, you dumbass, it’s because you love me back but I spent all of this time thinking you’d never love me that way!” 

This time Jay shakes his head, letting out a little laugh in disbelief. “You really are so oblivious, huh? For years, I have yearned for you, in secrecy and silence. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid my eyes on you all those years ago... It’s you. It’s always been you.” 

All you could do was smile at him with tears in your eyes. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you bring him closer to your body and lightly peck his lips. Bright smiles on both of your lips, you run your fingers through his hair and jokingly say “so, am I your heartbreak girl or were you talking about some other bitch?” He rolls his eyes at that, throwing his head back, “you’ll always be my girl, my heartbreak girl.” You nod your head at that and snicker, “are you sure?” Jay catches your drift and smirks down at you, “how bout I show you?” He grabs your waist, pulls you towards his body, and molds his lips onto yours for the second time. Your body melts into his as you smile into the passionate kiss almost as if this is where you were meant to be: wrapped in his arms, without a care in the world. 

As the two of you walked to your neighborhood park, hand in hand, you looked up at the sky. The moon and stars were shining brighter than they ever had. Looking back at your best friend, you remember you once looked at him as a friend until you realized you loved him and he loved you in return. You smiled to yourself knowing the heavens approved of your newfound love and would grace the both of you with its angelic love and light for as long as you held and cherished each other until the end of this life and onto the next one. 

an :: this is the second fic I've written on here, so if you could let me know if you enjoyed it, I'd appreciate it sm !! constructive criticism is always welcome, BUT remember to use kind words and send them through my asks box PLEASE AND THANK YOU !! <3

hope you had an angelic time & drown in heaven again soon !!

© heavenlyheesire ..

[myouicieloz]

Late night halloween interruptions

Yoo Jimin x Producer!reader

Synopsis: being one of Aespa’s main producers and songwriters meant having to work restlessly to deliver the best track of the year— even if it meant sacrificing a Halloween night out. however, focusing on work turns out to be rather difficult when a certain blonde idol keeps distracting you from your goals.

Warnings: smut, nsfw

Word count: 2.9k

Notes: you better wish I have a great fckn test thursday and friday. plus I didn’t proofread it and I WILL NOT. I still stuck at writing smut and I’m angry. also happy early halloween <3 blonderina lives forever in my mind and now in yours, too. ps: this was originally dom!reader but I changed my mind so it’s just a mess.

You were busy with the computer in front of you when you heard the click of the door, despite your heavy headphones. The soft, almost unnoticeable sound made you turn your chair to face the stranger who disturbed your work and dared to annoy you long after your work hours, late at night at the firm.

It wasn’t a total stranger, though. Staring back at you was Yoo Jimin, looking as angelic as always with her plump, rosy lips and porcelain skin. She had a sneaky smile on her face, tracing your desk with her featherlight fingers as she looked for any signs of dust.

“What do you want, Karina?” Your words came out harsh, unlike you intended to, but you still didn’t apologize. You could feel the tiredness wearing down your bones, the disturbance reminding you of the reason you were up so late in one of the company’s many music studios in the first place: so you wouldn’t be bothered at all.

Yet, she found you. You didn’t expect any less, with Karina hunting you down ever since she first laid her eyes on you, the day you were announced as one of the songwriters and record producers for the group’s latest comeback. Being only four years older, your lack of age made it easy to bond with all the girls: it gave them confidence to join in the making of their songs, too, getting deeply involved in the whole process of their comeback. The four band members trusted you and loved having you around, confiding their feelings and running to you whenever they felt bad or insecure. They all looked up to you— you knew it as much, and because of that, you were always pushing yourself to be the best, hardworking version of yourself you could.

Which was why you were always making sure to listen to their wishes and give them feedbacks on their ideas, so they’d grow as idols and song producers. You might not be as old in age as most of the producers in the industry, but you’ve already had your handful of successful collabs with well-known artists who did nothing but essentially praise you: you were skilled, and knew what you were doing, so it was only natural you exchanged some of your experiences with the girls.

Nonetheless, said closeness allowed the blonde girl to often stare at you like you were the only possible prey for a wolf who’s never eaten in its entire existence. Provocative dances, gifting your coffee orders each morning, stupid questions that kept you busy with her for hours, when you should be working… She certainly made your life difficult, toying with you while you tried as hard as you could not to indulge the idol. It was forbidden for employees to hook up with the company’s celebrities, after all, and you couldn’t risk losing your job.

“Good night to you, too, Y/n.” She greeted you, eyes darting around the place attentively. To make sure you were alone, most certainly. Jimin’s eyes lit up when her assumptions turned out right, happy to see you weren’t hiding some low-class hookup in the room. No, she’d have none of that. “I was just looking for you. You’re missing from the party.”

SM’s traditional Halloween party, currently happening many levels down the recording and mixing room, was one of the many fancy ballrooms hosted by the company at any given chance with intents to show off its supremacy and, of course, hegemony in the musical field. Your friends and coworkers tried getting you to attend multiple times, but you had shrugged them off. You liked hanging out with them, naturally, but not enough to put on a stupid costume and make small talk with preposterous, shallow people for hours straight. So you denied all the invites, knowing your presence wouldn’t be missed at all: they knew how to party by themselves, beyond everything.

As Karina reminded you of the current event, you took some time to take a proper look at her. Wearing a corset that enunciated her curves and the traditional red cape, along with heavy, black makeup contrasting perfectly with her long, blonde hair, Karina was impeccably dressed as Red Riding Hood. She’d even brought the damn basket with her, currently left hanging in the corner of the room.

She’d grown accustomed to the idol life, you noticed as the blonde stared at you with delight and confidence, certainly not innocent nor shy anymore as when she met you, nearly two years ago.

The old Karina would never wear such a thing. It made her stand out too much, and she loathed it, to have all of the attention and the stares focused solely on her. You still remember that same girl at last year’s Halloween party: dressed as a witch, wearing one of Minjeong’s old costumes, observing the older subaenims and idols with curious, scared doe eyes. Innocent, even.

And the young woman who looked at you like she was ready to devour you whole was anything but.

Karina didn’t mind your lack of manners, though. Leaning on your mixing table as if she owned it, she tried again, “Aren’t you coming to the party? Really? Come on, it’s Halloween! Don’t be so boring and live life for once, for God’s sake.”

You scoffed, coughing hard enough that you had to take a sip of your water to cool yourself, “The party’s for idols and shareholders.”

“And employees too, silly head.” She answered just as quickly, with a broad smile, dismissing all the dryness in your tone. This time, the look in her eyes reminded you of the Karina she truly was: tender, cautious, almost delicate. “I have a spare outfit, in case you want to keep the theme. You’d be the wolf, then.”

You turned your computer off, narrowing your eyes at her. Her intentions weren’t subtle: it was just as clear as clear water for anyone to see, but you couldn’t help it. You just had to have her begging.

For months, you’ve imagined what those pretty lips would look like all messed up with your juices, bruised from your bites and kisses. The thought of it being forbidden only fuels you with the need to ruin her even more. It makes you itch with how much you want to carve your name onto her skin, leaving her as nothing but a whimpering mess until no one— not even herself, could please her anymore. Only you would be capable of bringing her over the edge, from then. Your most feverish wish was to ruin her for anyone else.

You wouldn’t do it, though. It was forbidden, as said before, and you could lose your job for that. So, naturally, you wouldn’t.

She was fucking testing you, though.

“What do you want, Karina?” You repeated yourself, tone incisive, and yet she didn’t let go.

She was having fun with her girls before searching for you. It was her first year attending the party as an official idol, just as she’d always dreamed of. Nothing would piss her off, and she would get what she wanted.

And currently, what she wanted was to have the pretty producer everyone was whispering about around the hallways all to herself.

“It’s Jimin to you, Y/n.” She mumbled, brushing her legs over your arms. Her touch was gentle and patient, making you close your hands into fists to avoid pulling her by the ankles and taking her right in the mixing table. “And I just wanted to check if you wanted to have fun.”

“And it is unnie for you, dearest.” You reminded her, making the girl roll her eyes. She always made sure to forget to use honorifics when alone with you. “I am your producer, darling.” You added, pushing your chair a bit further and managing to keep some distance between the two of you. “So drop whatever plans you have and find someone else to toy with. I’m not falling for it, baby.”

No matter how desperately you wanted to bend her over the table and fuck her senseless.

Your words made her irritated, with Karina’s angelic face furrowing into an angry pout, as it often did when people didn’t immediately indulge her wishes.

A Spoiled princess, indeed.

“Come on, drop that superior shit.” She rolled her eyes, laying on her elbows without a care about the number of electronics placed over the mixing table. The angle favored her costume, and her perfect breasts, just as intended. You gulped, trying hard not to stare, knowing you’d be doomed if you did.

It was nearly impossible, though. To not drop to your knees and immediately indulge to all her wishes. Karina had always had this sweet, dangerous nature: with light kisses and faked innocency, she toyed with people as she wanted, making them give her it all, which they’d always gladly do. How could they not? When she was so polite and attentive, making sure to pay attention to whatever shit they were saying as if it were the most interesting matter in the world.

You know her better than that, though. Better than to participate in her game, no matter how fucking hot she looked.

You’ve always been told it was hard to know what went through your mind, since your face was always blank and serious, almost disinterested. Taking advantage of that, you smiled back at the defiant girl in front of you, placing your arms in each of her sides, but careful not to touch her.

The anticipation drove her crazy, you knew that much as you felt her shiver under you.

Karina hated how, at the moment, she was the one who felt like the prey. Although it thrilled her to feel like she was not fully in control of the situation, it also irritated her for a bit. However, she knew she’d get what she wanted in the end, of course, so she didn’t mind playing with her food for a bit.

“What do you want, darling?” You repeated yourself, using the same indulgent tone you do when talking to her and the girls about their new songs.

Patient, sweet, and attentive, just like you were during work hours and outside of them.

“I wanted to know if you were going to have some fun, finally. But I see the years have made you as boring as the others. Come on, unnie! Don’t I look pretty?” She managed to recompose herself, returning your smile with a venomous one.

“I won’t pamper you. If that’s what you want, go to your little followers. They’d be more than happy to tell you lies.” Your face was so close to hers, yet your words stated the opposite of how you felt.

Truthfully, your cunt ached, and your heart was beating so fast you were afraid Karina might hear.

That little prey-game aroused you just as much as it did to her. It was a euphoric feeling, one that blew out your pupils and made the blood run through your veins, giving you that good kind of rush. Only Karina could make you feel such emotions without even touching you.

She was fucking gorgeous, and you wanted every single inch of her for yourself.

“So I’m not beautiful tonight?” She batted her lashes, arms resting on her sides like a crystal princess. “I’ve tried my best to look pretty. I’ve always wanted to be Red for Halloween, after all.”

“Do you like to be a prey, Jimin?” You opened a teasing smile, no longer sustaining your uninterested persona. Your fingers teased her collarbone, making the girl drop her head back to appreciate the touch.

You were doomed. Likewise, you knew that the moment she entered the room.

“To be desired.” She corrected, hands comfortably on your arms like she’s been doing this forever. “Chased, even. It’s fun.” She faced you, suddenly serious. “Will we have fun, Y/n-nie?” Those innocent fucking doe eyes of hers, staring expectantly at you.

You sigh, pulling her onto your lap as you inhaled her sickening perfume. Dangerous and sweet, lingering on her skin. You’d soon make it disappear, leaving her whole body drenched in sweat.

Just as she planned for you to.

Grabbing her beautiful corset, you took your time untying the lace before finally looking at her delicate frame.

God, you were going to ruin her little body entirely, until she was writhing and yelling for you to stop. “One time, and one time only. Got it?” She nodded, seaming pleased enough with your answer.

She’d carve her way onto your brain nice and slow, no worries. So, for now, a one-night stand would suffice.

“Just this once.” She hid her face in the crook of your neck, giggling with delight to have her wishes granted.

You finally gave in to your carnal wishes and kissed her, hard and urgently. You’d let her win, just once.

Because it’s Halloween, and she is indeed the most beautiful fucking woman you’ve ever seen.

-

“H-harder, Y/n. Fuck!” Karina moaned loudly, nails scratching your back to the point where thick red lines adorned your whole back. “Deeper, now.”

Like a queen, she demanded, making you roll your eyes. Her face was all fucked out, her hair unraveled and sweaty from the pounding, and she was absolutely sure her hips, ass and thighs would be all bruised from the way you were gripping them, carving the strap onto her as you made Karina your own personal fucktoy.

“You’re sure too demanding for someone someone who was begging to be filled minutes ago.” You taunted, carving yourself into the girl even deeper. Her hands were interlocked on your neck and her legs did the same to your waist, trying to steady herself at the intensity. “You know how much of a whore you are, right? Going up all those floors by yourself with that fucking strap in your basket just so I could have free use of all your holes.”

“Shut up.” She squeezed her eyes, gasping for air as your hands blocked her pulse point, down her neck. “God, you’re so full of yourself.”

You laughed at her brattiness: she’d never give up, truly. Removing your hands from her skin, you opened her thighs so the strap could reach deeper onto her sweet spot— which it clearly did, as Karina announced so herself. Her wetness was nearly drenching the whole table, making the sound of your thrusts even louder as you placed your fingers on her clit, not yet moving but applying just the right amount of pressure.

“Keep acting up and you won’t get to cum.” You told her, your free hand going up to pinch one of her voluptuous breasts. They were so bouncy and pretty, you just wanted to suck and mark them until there was not a visible inch of her milky skin that wasn’t covered in bruises.

Karina opened her dark eyes, being surprisingly gentle as her teeth scratched your lips. She sucked on your lower lip and, before you had any time to acknowledge, she bit it hard. You drew back, surprised, making her laugh.

“Oh, Y/n-nie,” She licked the blood from your lips, smiling at your reaction. With an unfazed gaze, the girl guided your wrist on her clit, urging you to play with it faster and even harder. She gave your cheek a little kiss, too, adding, “You’re damn cute when you think you’re the one in control.”

You hummed, deciding to focus on Karina’s pleasure instead of indulging the silly provocations she so adored to lead on. With that, you did as told, paying extra attention to her little hole as you returned to your pace, circling and toying with the blonde’s swollen sex until her body began to tremble and she collapsed under you, reaching her orgasm unannounced. You fucked her through it, allowing the dancer to gather her breath and enjoy the final hum of sensations.

Even completely flustered, Karina still looked gorgeous: her body all marked and bruised, a piece of art— your art, and her cunt wet and swollen, still all opened and ready for you.

“You look too pretty like this.” You breathed, verbalizing your thoughts before thinking straight, to which she let out a smile, extending her hand so you’d help her hop off the table.

“I know.” The girl playfully winked at you as her arms found your waist, embracing you in an spontaneous hug.

Of course, you should’ve guessed nothing Karina does is ever not carefully planned. In a second, you find yourself sitting on your chair and she was all over you, now taking her turn into marking her territory. Her mouth sucked and nibbled your clavicle until a line of hickeys are proudly shown, along with her scratches. You don’t mind, though. In fact, you love to have her using you as she wishes, her possessiveness heating up your core at each dirty thing she told you.

“You’re pretty gorgeous yourself, too, you know.” Although her tone is light, the murmur that follows is dense and drenched in possessiveness, “We’ll have to fix that, soon. No one can stare at my pretty toy like they currently do.”

“You wish, Karina.”

“I do, my love.” She licked her lips, groping your body like a woman starved. “Now lay down for me, will you? I’m quite hungry, and I need a taste of you.”

You scoffed at her words and the excessive sweetness in her tone, but as always, did as told.

Just for tonight, you reminded yourself. You’d relent to her wishes just for tonight. And only because it was Halloween, and you were working hard. You deserved a treat.

[ladykailitha]

Across a Crowded Room

*grumbles* I can't believe this IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE AND SHORT! Not only has it gotten a little angsty in middle there, it's about to breach 10k words. And I'm not even CLOSE to the ending.

The fuuuucckkkkk.

I was meant to be working on other things. Like editing a story to be beta'ed so I can put it on AO3 for you all, extending Batshit soulmates because I was skipping over too much, and wrapping up Glitters.

Guess who did none of those things because this story consumed my soul?

ME!!!

I will be posting this on Saturday as it's not one of my regular WIPs.

Enjoy. *sniffs* I guess.

Summary: Modern, no monsters AU. After they all graduated from high school the older teens drifted to other parts of the country. And while Steve and Eddie have made short trips to see each other, usually with the whole, they really haven't spent much time in the same room in years.

That all changes when Eddie is able to spend a week in Chicago with Steve and Robin.

But when Eddie sees Steve for the first time in years, he gets scared. Will have the courage to walk across that crowded room to be with Steve?

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

Eddie hadn’t seen Steve in years. After high school when they became friends through mutual parenting of six absolutely terrifyingly smart teenagers, they kinda went their separate ways.

Steve and Robin had gone to Chicago for college and Eddie and his band had gone further west to LA to try and make it as metal artists.

This is was the first time in a really long time that their schedules lined up. They talked all the time. Friends on all their social media. But they hadn’t seen each other since they said goodbye in Steve’s driveway four years ago.

Eddie was standing at the bar entrance where he was supposed to be meeting Steve, just staring at him.

God, he had been gorgeous in high school. Because of course he was. Captain of the basketball team, co-captain of the swim team, and the baseball team’s best hitter.

But he looked even more so now.

His honey colored, wind tussled hair had grown out a bit. A lock of hair flopped devastatingly in front of one of his hazel eyes. He had filled out some, once thin and wiry, now deep chested and toned. Even in the winterscape hell that was Chicago, Steve’s skin was warmly tanned.

He was laughing with a group of people and never had Eddie felt more out of place in his life, and that was saying something. He had been dropped off at his Uncle Wayne’s when he was twelve. Been nicknamed the “Freak”. And had always been flamboyantly himself: a big, gay, metal loving geek.

Eddie was about to turn around and go back the way he came when a familiar voice called his name.

He turned around and there was Robin Buckley. Steve’s platonic soulmate and best friend.

“Hey,” he croaked.

“Did you just get here?” she asked brightly.

Eddie nodded. “My flight was delayed three times. I haven’t even been to my hotel yet.”

Robin winced. “That sucks.” She looked at him more closely and he gulped. “You weren’t thinking of cutting and running were you?”

“Me?” Eddie said, dramatically clutching his hands to his chest. “I would ne–”

She raised an eyebrow at him, effectively shutting him up.

“I wasn’t gonna,” Eddie said mournfully, “until I got here. He just looks so happy. He doesn’t need someone like me coming back into his life like a wrecking ball.” He pulled out his phone and waved it at her. “Once I can get this charged, I’ll message him and tell him my flight got canceled and that’ll we’ll reschedule.”

She looked at his phone and then back up at him. “What happened to your phone?”

“My charging cable port snapped,” he grumbled. “And it died after the first delay.”

Again she winced in sympathy.

“You’re in love with him,” she said, “aren’t you?”

Eddie sighed and looked back over at Steve. One of his friends must have told a joke because Steve was laughing so hard his eyes were mere slits. He looked back at her and he sighed.

“The sky is blue, Midwestern winters suck,” he muttered, “and I’m in love with Steve Harrington.”

Robin rolled her eyes, then she got this calculating grin on her face.

“Uh oh.”

“I’ll tell you what,” she said slyly, “you let me do a little experiment with a small wager. If I win, you man up and tell him how you feel. If you win, you can tell him that your trip has been cut short and you have to go back in a couple of days and blow out his life again.”

Eddie pursed his lips and looked at back at Steve.

“What’s the experiment?” he asked.

Robin jumped up and down with glee. “I’m going to text Steve that I found you. You aren’t going to take your eyes off him the whole time. Then when I’m done, I’ll show the conversation.”

He licked his lips. “And what’s the wager?”

“You think he’s happier without you,” she said. “If that’s true, he’s not going to show a lot of excitement. He’ll be relieved and happy that you’re here, but no real enthusiasm. Right?”

Eddie just nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“I know he’s going to flip out,” she continued with that sly grin. “He’s going to be jumping up and down and looking around for you, trying to find you in the crowd.”

“What if it’s somewhere in the middle?” Eddie asked honestly.

Robin cocked her head to the side. “Then you stay the full week and suss him out.”

Eddie let out a long sigh. “All right. You’re on.”

“Good!” she said. She grabbed him by the arms and moved him a little. “There. Now he won’t be able to spot you immediately.”

He had let himself be manhandled because he had long since learned that Robin could and would kick if he didn’t do what she wanted.

“Now, keep your eyes on Steve.”

Eddie scoffed. “Easiest thing in the world.”

Robin snorted and got out her phone.

He really wanted to look over her shoulder to see what she was typing because he was eaten up with curiosity about what she was sending Steve. But he did as he was told. He kept his eyes on the most beautiful boy in the world.

Steve pulled out his phone and then his head snapped up. He looked around excitedly. He started flapping his hands and talking animatedly with his friends. Eddie watched as he smoothed down his hair and wiped his hands on his jeans. He pulled out a breath mint out of his pocket and ducked his head when his friends obliviously teased him for it.

He looked over at Robin in shock.

“What the hell did you tell him?”

She turned her phone around and he read their conversation.

-Guess who I found by the door looking like a lost puppy?

-He’s here?

-Eddie’s here?

-Where?

-Why didn’t he text me? :(

-lol

-Calm down, I’ll bring him to you.

-The idiot’s phone died and his charger broke.

-I can’t be calm, how can I be calm? He’s here! He’s finally here.

“Oh.”

The little frownie face at the end of the “Why didn’t he text me?” message did Eddie’s heart in.

He cleared his throat. “Um...if I were to, say, I don’t know, go over there and kiss his lights out, would I get hate crimed?”

Robin laughed. “No. And there is no one in his friends that would be nasty about it either.”

Eddie nodded. “Lead the way.” He bowed and waved his hand dramatically so that she would go first.

“Nerd.”

Eddie cackled as he followed her to the table. Steve was on his feet the instant he saw him.

Eddie was a weak man. That had been pretty well established tonight. So he thought he could be excused when he picked Steve up by the waist and swung him around.

“Eddie!” Steve giggled.

Robin scoffed. “Gays are so disgusting.”

“Says the lesbian,” Steve said when Eddie had put him down.

“Lesbians are a different flavor of gay and thereby aren’t disgusting,” she said with a half shrug like it was a truth universally acknowledged or some shit.

He shook his head and turned back to Eddie, who had yet to let go of his waist. “I missed you, too, Eds.”

“I missed you so much, Stevie,” Eddie whispered back.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, hopeful.

“Yeah,” he breathed and lifted Steve’s chin. He pressed their lips together and suddenly Steve’s crowd of friends erupted into cheers.

Steve broke the kiss and stared up at Eddie in awe.

“Wow.”

Eddie giggled. “You like that?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, more than a little breathless. “You’re stuck now. That’s how I want you to greet me every time now.”

Eddie’s face split with a large grin. “You got it, baby.”

Robin cleared her throat. “May I remind you two that we are in fact in public?”

Eddie and Steve looked over at her and then back at each other. Robin isn’t sure who started it, but soon they both were laughing like children.

Steve introduced him to the small group of friends.

There was a sofa near the table Steve’s friends were sitting at so Eddie sat down there, so Steve could cuddle up on his side.

“How long are you in town for?” A punky Asian girl with pink and purple streaks in her short cropped hair asked. Steve had introduced her as Maria Nguyen. They had a couple of classes with each other.

Steve looked at Eddie as if he had been wondering the same thing.

Eddie chuckled. “That’s the surprise I was telling you about, darlin’. Me and the boys got a record deal and their headquarters and studio is right here in Chicago. So I will be moving to the fair Windy city.”

“You’re staying?” Steve asked, his voice rising with excitement.

“I’m in town for about a week to look for apartments and shit,” Eddie amended. “Then I will move here at the end of the month.”

“Holy shit!” Robin said, glaring daggers at him.

Steve picked up on the latent hostility, but Eddie shook his head and whispered, “I’ll tell you later.” He pressed a kiss to Steve hair.

“You have a band?” a large young man with freckles and braces asked. He had red hair and wire rimmed glasses. Steve said his was Jason, Justin...Jarren! That was it.

“Sure do!” Eddie said. “Corroded Coffin. Me and my three closest friends, besides Buck and Stevie here, have been out in LA playing our hearts out.”

“Buck?” Maria asked, rearing her head back.

“Buckley!” Eddie explained.

“So what kind of music do you play?” Jarren asked, leaning forward, very interested.

“Metal.”

Maria snorted. “Like that’s Steve’s least favorite kind of music.”

Steve sat up. “It is not! There are all sorts of music I don’t like. Metal can be good. It’s just the screamo shit I can’t stand. Corroded Coffin isn’t like that.”

“Yeah,” Robin agreed. “Hell, Steve would put pop music below metal and you know how much he loves Tears for Fears.”

Eddie groaned. “I still can’t believe of all the 80s bands out there to be your favorite you pick Tears for Fears!”

“What? They’re great.”

“Stevie, darlin’, love of my life,” Eddie said sweetly. “You cannot honestly tell me that their version of ‘Mad World’ is better than Gary Jules.”

“Wait?” Jarren said. “They did a cover of ‘Mad World’?”

Steve shook his head. “They sang it originally. Here let me show you.”

He pulled out his phone and handed it over. Robin, Maria, and Jarren huddled around the phone as they watched the video for it.

“That was trippy as hell,” Maria said, handing the phone back to Steve.

“I know, right?” Eddie said.

Steve rolled his eyes. “He does have a point regarding this one song. The original version is too fast for what the song is about.”

Eddie cackled with glee.

“I still maintain that Shout, Head Over Heels, and Everybody Wants to Rule the World are absolute bangers,” Steve huffed.

Eddie kissed his cheek and Steve blushed.

“Wait!” Jarren said, “Do my eyes deceive me or is Steve Harrington, the man, the myth, the legend, blushing?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Not that again. I don’t believe it was ever a thing.”

Eddie sat up on the sofa, too and looked Steve in the eye. “What’s this, babe?”

“Stevie here made a girl come just by talking to her,” Robin said with a grin.

Eddie licked his lips slowly and Steve blushed deeper. “Did you now?”

“No!” Steve insisted. “That was just the excuse she used for running away after I badly flirted with her.”

Maria scoffed. “Dude, I was there, you did not flirt badly.”

Eddie pulled Steve close to his side and murmured in his ear. “I fully expect the full Harrington Charm experience, sweetheart.” His voice dropped really low. “Because I bet you could make me come just from the sound of your voice.”

Steve’s eyes went wide and he ducked his head.

Maria shook her head. “I can’t believe that King Steve got out rizzed by this swagless loser. How in the hell?”

“Maria!” Jarren hissed. “He does not look like a swagless loser. You take that back. He’s cool.”

Eddie turned to Steve. “Looks like you’re going to have to be the tie-breaker, sweetheart.”

“How’s that?” Steve asked. “Robin hasn’t said anything yet.”

“Ah, but that’s because I think I’m cool,” Eddie said holding up one finger, “and I know that Robin would vote for swagless loser.”

Robin snorted. “Damn right I would.”

“So it’s girls verses guys,” Steve said thoughtfully.

Jarren snorted. “More like lesbians verses the gays.”

Steve cocked his head to the side and then nodded.

“I dub thee my really cool metalhead geek!” Steve said solemnly.

Everyone’s eyes narrowed at him.

“Babe...” Robin said. “Did you just go down the middle of the road to avoid an argument?”

Steve batted his eyelashes at her. “Maybe...”

Eddie huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, pouting. Steve leaned forward and kissed the bottom of his jaw.

“How about my very cool, gorgeous, metalhead boyfriend?” he murmured softly.

Eddie looked down at him eyes wide. “Holy shit, you mean that?”

Steve nodded.

Eddie swiftly brought their mouths together and kissed Steve deeply. “That is acceptable.”

Steve giggled.

The night past in good company and drinks.

Eddie had duck out early because he still had to check into his hotel, but he kissed Steve goodbye and left with a spring in his step.

****

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Also, also. I forgot to mention that the title comes from a song by Counting Crows called Long December. So in my head I was singing, It's been so long since you came to (Indiana) I think you should!

Never mind they're in Illinois and the actual lyric is California.

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

[cupidsdolll]

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; best friend!harry styles x best friend!fem!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 2.8k

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲; harry’s always been there to lend a listening ear to his best friend. he shows her just how much he cares for her in the best way he knows how.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬; childhood friends to lovers, just fluff.

Y/N and Harry have been friends for as long as either of them can remember, all they can remember is that as little kids Harry would constantly come up to her in school and compliment her choice of nail polish. Time seems to blur by after that, the two young kids would spend their time discussing anything and everything that came to mind, the conversations never seeming to dull as they grew older. They stayed close throughout their school years and the years after they graduated, that was until he signed up for the X-Factor and won, being grouped together with four other boys and hence One Direction was born.

She was always supportive of his dream and wanted nothing more than him to be happy, so she happily sat on the sidelines and cheered from a distance. She was always one of the first to get their albums and she would attempt to get in contact with Harry as much as she could, but his rising fame and busy schedules it was hard to find the time to carry out a conversation. Conversations over the phone skimmed down to brief texts to check in, FaceTime calls filled with jokes turned into seeing him on the television screen, he barely had time for her anymore and it sucked.

Neither one had ever thought about the idea of not having the other in their life and now that it seemed it happening, she wishes they’d gotten the chance to talk about everything before Harry left to be a star. It was a big change to try to adapt to if she’s being honest, she went from seeing him numerous times a week and hanging out in her room to only being able to see him through a screen, it’s almost as if he was never there to begin with. If it weren’t for the woven bracelet sitting on his arm, she’d think he’d completely forgotten about her and that’s the worst thought ever. As happy as she is for him, the thought of him never being in her life again stirs a terrible feeling in her chest.

Years go by and it seems like Harry’s trying harder now to bring back the friendship, he’s texting more responses and making conversation while he’s getting his hair done, she expects pictures each time, sending her snippets of the songs they’re currently working on and she listens to each one right before bed in order to feel closer. She watches him grow up through a screen and magazines, his band goes on more interviews and they release more music and they go on tour. It seems as if so much is happening in such short time, and that feeling in her chest is back again when she realizes she’s missing out on all the major turning points in his life.

It saddens her to think about how much information she actually misses out on one day when she’s sprawled out on her bed in comfy clothes, her phone propped up on a pillow as she stares at the screen. Harry’s face fills the screen as she’s on FaceTime with him while he’s getting his hair ready for their tour.

“I still say you do a little ponytail.” She can’t help but laugh at her poor excuse of a joke, she’s been at this for the past couple minutes and the hairstylist has given up on listening to her ideas. He laughs loudly before clearing his throat.

“I’ll stick with my curls. How’s everything over there?” He asks and she sighs sadly, it’s when she has to be reminded that he isn’t here sucks.

“S’fine, I just miss you.” She doesn’t miss the way his face lights up at her admission.

“Miss you too, hopefully I’ll be home soon for a bit.”

More years passed, he came home whenever he was able to their friendship remained the same, while it’s not back to normal - it’s as normal as it’ll get when you’re friends with a member of a very popular boy band. He’d eagerly wrap her up in his arms before greeting the rest of his family, breathing her scent in deeply and he pulls away with a smile reserved just for her. It’s one that’s full of happiness and longing, she know that smile all too well because it’s the same one she gives him over the phone. She’d follow him around as he talks with everyone, only adding her input in when necessary. His family is hers as well, she’d even started making jokes with Anne about calling her mom in which she’d laugh before agreeing in how she sees her as one of her own.

It was the days he left to go back to his fame that hurts the most, a day full of holding back tears as she bids him goodbye with a tight hug and word’s whispered in each other ears. He would always promise to call as much as he can and she would simply nod with teary eyes. After several emotional goodbyes, Harry finally tears away from her and waves one last goodbye and he’s off. He’s off to go back to being a pop star, surrounded by his new found friends and his adoring fans and she already misses him more than ever.

She stayed with him throughout the entire span of his band and when he’d come home years later and said the band had broken up, she couldn’t help the part that was relieved that he was back for good now. He was home and she couldn’t have been happier, well maybe Anne and Gemma were happier but it doesn’t matter, she has her best friend back and that’s all she cares about. He spent as much time as he could with her and before they know it, the friendship was actually closer than it was before. He’d never judge her for her choice of men she’d date and she was always the one to reapply the coat of paint onto his hands.

Years passed and he released two albums, and in the process of writing another one, he was just stuck on a couple of songs. So while he was stuck working on his music, she’d go on dates. She’d managed to have several relationships throughout the years but Harry was always there to lend an ear as she would about horrible they are. He’d always known how a date when by how she entered the house, a door slamming shut accompanied by the sound of her bag hitting the floor her bag and plopping herself on the bed indicates a bad date or an ending of a relationship and today is no different.

He hears the sound of the door slamming shut accompanied by a loud huff as she stomps towards his bedroom. He can’t help but to sigh as he turns off his phone and setting to the side, ready to give her all of his undivided attention. Her footsteps become louder as she gets closer until he can hear her in front of his door, a soft knock fills the space and he quickly tells her it’s unlocked. She barges in with teary eyes and her body radiating anger, plopping herself into his bed and looking at him for the green light to begin her rant.

“Go ahead, what happened this time?” She nods softly before her mouth opens and words spill out of them.

“He’s such a dickwad, Harry. A misogynistic asswhipe. It’s been a month Har and he’s already talking about he wants me to stay home. He barely even talks to me as is!” He nods as he listens, he can’t help but to feel bad for his best friend to listen to her stories about guys that don’t care about her the way she deserves.

He’s heard almost every story in the book and he despises every time she gets excited about a new date. She’ll get happy and bounce around while she asks for his opinion on what to wear. He listens as she rambles on about hopefully this is different, she just has a feeling, and every time it’s just the same outcome just a different story line. It’s always ghosting after they hook up, they take advantage of her sweet personality, or they always assume she’s gonna put out before they even start the date. He knows she hates having to constantly have sex with so many people but in her words, it’s the only way she’s able to have somewhat of a love life.

It seems almost every other week, it’s the same story just different people and he takes notes of all the names listed. He remembers the most recent one, the one that would barely converse with her until late at night because he doesn’t wanna sleep alone, the conversation would linger for the day after in order to keep her hooked just for it die right back out and get her hopes up. All of her stories break his heart piece by piece, it clicks in his head as he holds her on his arms and allows her to let out all the emotions.

He’ll stay up late as he writes down lyrics in his notebook and record voice notes on his phone as he plays with the structure. He needs this to be just right, to portray the story and emotions he has in his head from his best friend. She never once questioned why he listened more intently now and would tap his thigh after she said certain things, would just bask in the moment and care for her best friend after a bad day.

At the beginning of April, Harry would mention how he’s performing for Coachella and offered to take her with him, so she can experience him in concert first hand. He’d beg and plead but ultimately left the decision up to her. He’d never force her to do anything she didn’t want to do, he just wanted to experience this first hand in a futile attempt to show he was listening to every word she said, to show he cares for her deeply and to attempt to make up for the years they’d lost while he was in One Direction.

She ended up agreeing to go, and he quickly bought her tickets and make sure she has the best seats and the best view always, after all this could possibly change everything and it’s important to him that she gets this experience. So they drove over to California, the sound of their curated playlist just for this occasion blasting through the speakers as they drive down the street. Both parties happy as ever as they continue their journey across states, taking turns singing their favorite songs when they happen to come on.

----

The crowd is loud, full of fans waiting to see their favorite artists. The air is filled with the buzz and excitement mixed in with eager anticipation. Harry slowly walks up on stage and the crowd yells, going crazy as he prances down the catwalk wearing a rainbow sequined jumpsuit, catching the light and reflecting it back onto the fans. She watches with eager eyes as he introduces himself, resulting in more screams and she can’t help but to chuckle lightly at his adoring fans.

The show passes, he sings and she’ll sing along to the ones she knows, she’s happy to be able to watch him in his natural habitat. He pauses the show real quick to introduce the next song.

“Alright, we’re gonna sing a new song for you. This is the first time we’ve played it for anyone, so please be gentle. Who in the audience has ever had a boyfriend?” The crowd erupts into loud yells and whoops in agreement, and her eyes stay on Harry drinking him in.

“Who in the audience has never had a boyfriend?” More screams fill the air and she laughs lightly.

“This song is special to me, and I hope that someday it’ll be special to you as well. To boyfriends everywhere… fuck you.” He smiles lightly and grabs onto the mic, the crowd becoming even louder as the beginning chords begin to play through the speakers.

Boyfriends, they think you’re so easy. They take you for granted.

She can feel her heart shrink and then begin to swell as the melody and the soothing sound of his voice flowing into her ears. His eyes are closed as he sings, and she can’t help the tight feeling in her chest with every line. She knows why he was so adamant on her coming to this show and why he didn’t let her hear the album when he finished with it, it’s all clicking with every minute that passes.

You, you love a fool who knows how just to get under your skin. You, you still open the door. You’re no closer to him, now you’re halfway home. Only calling you when, don’t wanna be alone. Oh, and you go. Why? You don’t know.

She can’t help the sob that escapes from her lips, her body shaking at the realization of just how good of a best friend she has. He’s been there since day one and hasn’t let the fame or fortune change their dynamic and she’s never been more grateful. His eyes open and they wander over the crowd until he spots her, teary eyes as she furiously wipes them away in an attempt for him not to see them.

His heart softens as he watches her, her gaze never leaving him other than to close her eyes to try to stop more tears from falling. He can’t help the warmth rising through his body at the sight, he’s proud of himself for being able to write this song so perfectly but he’s mainly proud of her for choosing to wanting to continue dating, for choosing to keep putting herself out there. He tears his eyes away from her to look over the crowd again, smiling softly at a fan before waving at them, their faces match hers and he smiles. He’s made such an impact and the album isn’t even released yet.

The show ends and he runs off stage only to be greeted with his best friend’s angry face, her cheeks coated with tears as she walks towards him.

“This is why you wanted me to come so bad?” He nods his head as he holds out his arms, he knows she needs a hug.

“Don’t want it! You should’ve told me, you fucker.” He knows she’s been bad at expressing her emotions so she doesn’t mean it to sound so harsh. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots his bodyguard standing straighter, preparing to protect him from the emotional girl but he simply holds his hand out and shakes his head.

“M’sorry lovie. Didn’t wanna ruin the surprise. Wasn’t meant to make you cry.” His voice is soft and she shakes her head and laughs.

“Well you did, and everyone else watching was crying too!” Her voice wavers as she yells, her fist coming in contact with his chest so he quickly wraps his arms around her.

“I will listen to you always, you deserve the best. You don’t deserve the way those boys treat you, promise you’re worth so much more than that.” She sniffles as she wraps her arms around his waist, burrowing her face into his chest.

She feels overwhelmed with everything happening, all springing in her face at once, emotions she never realized she had for her best friend hit her like a truck and that’s all it takes for the dam to break, tears flooding onto his t-shirt as his grip on her tightens. He gently kisses the top of her head before she pulls away, her eyes glassy and puffy but full of love and appreciation.

“Love you, Har. So much.” He smiles before kissing her head once more and she sighs happily.

“I can give you the world, it’s always been you. No one else, just you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.” She nods before her eyes glance to his lips and back, quick enough to see his eyes dart back to hers. The world seems to fade away as they stand in their embrace, staring into each others eyes, in this moment it’s just them.

No crazy fans, no cameras, no loud music. He’s not some famous celebrity, he’s just Harry and she’s just his best friend as they teeter over the thin line. She leans forward slowly, allowing him time to reject her advances and for them to stay friends, but it never comes. He leans in as well, and before they know it, their lips mesh together softly. The kiss is soft, sweet and tender, one that replicates their friendship over the years and the amount of pure and genuine love they shared. She pulls away with a soft giggle and he gives her a gentle squeeze before they head back to their car, hand in hand and both of their bodies radiating nothing but happiness.

He’s never been one to keep secrets, but he’s glad he kept this one.

[munsonslove]

Make It Up to You

(18+ only) (read part 2 here)

summary: After Eddie’s van stalls when he tries to leave your party, you invite him to stay the night.

wordcount: 5.3k

tags/warnings: fem!virgin!sub!reader (18+ and a high school graduate), softdom!Eddie, fluff, smut, friends to lovers, praise kink, sharing a bed, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), dacryphilia, teasing, begging, use of pet names (baby, babygirl, pretty girl, sweetheart, sweetie, good girl), no use of y/n

a/n: first fic! kinda set it up for a part 2, so let me know if you want one~

“Is there anything I can do to make it up to you, baby?” Eddie asks as he ever so slightly grazed his fingertips up your thigh. You think back to where you were at the start of your day and wonder how you ended up here.

-

After unexpectedly learning that morning you would be home alone for the entire weekend you wasted no time calling up all your friends and telling them to come over after dark. Most of them were your fellow band nerds at the high school you graduated from a month prior, along with a handful of tutoring clients that you had kept in touch with. The first person you called was your best friend of the past four years, Robin Buckley. She, of course, is more than excited to hear the news, and tells you she’ll cover letting ‘the gang’ know.

‘The gang’ she’s referring to is the rather surprising group of friends she’s accumulated this past year. Steve Harrington’s been around the longest, having worked with Robin at the ice cream parlor in the mall that burned down last summer, and now at Family Video. Though you were skeptical at first that spending time with the former King of Hawkins High would be enjoyable, you quickly came to see why Robin loved him so much. Your duo with her became a trio, and despite the sneaking suspicion that the two were hiding something from you, having him as a friend made you happier than planned. The next unanticipated friendly addition was Nancy Wheeler. You didn’t know much about her back in school, just that she was head of the newspaper and Steve’s ex. Getting to know her now, she’s impressed you with her tenacity and cleverness. It’s clear why someone like her would get along so well with your Robin, but you still wondered how this relationship even came to be. Whenever you questioned them they gave vague answers and changed topics, so you ultimately decided to just give up on the subject.

Then there was Eddie.

Eddie Munson may have been the most unpredictable out of all of them. Sure, being in the marching band meant you and Robin rolled with the outcasts, but he was a different breed of outcast. His bold personality- often resulting in causing scenes in the halls and outbursts in the cafeteria- has always intrigued you. And though most wouldn’t have suspected it from someone like you, you found his personal aesthetic very attractive. You didn’t live in a strict household by any means, but that was only because you never exhibited the type of rebellious nature that made it necessary. Still, the lure of loud music, drugs, and taboo role playing games (that may or may not have to do with Satanism) was too tantalizing to ignore completely. You often found yourself gazing his way during your time in school and daydreaming, even back in freshman year when he was a junior. Coming back from spring break to see your best friend laughing at her locker with the super-super senior of your desires was definitely a shock.

Pretty soon it was nightfall and your backyard was packed with 18-20 year olds drinking lukewarm beers, happy to have a distraction from their impending dooms of adulthood. Luck was on your side tonight, seeing as your neighbors to the left were out of town, and the ones to the right were so old they wouldn’t hear a fire truck’s siren if it was directly outside their window. The tape playing from the boombox was a mix specially curated by yours truly to appease as many party goers as possible. So while it included Bowie, Blondie, and Beatles, it also had Black Sabbath. Every time a song came on that you picked out with Eddie in mind he would lock eyes with you, throwing a knowing and toothy smile your way. The confirmation that something you did pleased him brought butterflies to your stomach, and filled your mind with ideas on how to see that smile again.

Just to be on the safe side, you still kept the music as low as you could without hearing complaints from anyone. And by anyone, you meant Eddie, who liked his radio blasting so loud he could feel his eardrums vibrate. He did, however, turn the volume down out of courtesy whenever he picked you up for group hangouts. The gesture of that alone caused your heart to flutter more than it should have, and left you feeling like you were floating in his passenger seat. Him placing his hand on your knee while he drove would always bring you back down to Earth, though, along with migrating the fluttering feeling to a different part of your body. Distracted by the memory of his skin on yours, you don’t notice him making his way over to you until you feel his arm snake its way around your torso.

He stays by your side the remainder of the night, even as the crowd starts to thin out by around 2am. You’re left completely alone with him when Nance and Rob get into Steve’s car and drive off. You try to tell him he doesn’t need to stick around to clean, but he insists and helps pick up the crushed aluminum cans and red solo cups from your lawn. It doesn’t take long, much to your disappointment, and the easy conversation and inside jokes come to an early end as you walk with him around the side of your house. You both drop the trash bags filled with proof of a successful night of partying on the curb by the garbage bins his van was parked next to, and he pulls you into a hug. With a kiss to the top of your head (a habit he picked up early on in your friendship), he says his final goodbye and slides into his front seat. You wait patiently to see him off, but the stalling of his engine puts those plans to rest. He gets back out, returning to your side with a sheepish grin and explains that his engine’s been acting up recently and he hasn’t had the chance to get a look under the hood quite yet. Just as he’s about to ask if you have a toolbox laying around somewhere, you suggest that he should stay the night, since it’s already so late anyway.

“You sure you don’t mind? I didn’t mean to back you into a corner or anything, baby,” he asks, using his favorite pet name for you.

You roll your eyes and scoff, “Of course I don’t mind. We’re friends!”

The word ‘friend’ brings a soft smile to his face that confusingly doesn’t reach his eyes. The reassurance does calm his nerves about intruding, however, and he allows you to lead him to your house. Once you're both a little closer, he walks ahead so that he can open the front door and gestures for you to enter first.

“So,” he starts as he shuts the door behind himself and locks it, “do I get a tour of your bedroom before you send me to the couch?”

The sudden surge of audacity you feel comes out of the blue. In the past, the only time you’d been this forward with Eddie was when you were at the very least tipsy, but neither of you had had more than a couple beers tonight. So it was as much to his sober surprise as it was yours when you responded, “You don’t want to sleep with me?”

His eyes widen, jaw dropping to bring his mouth to an ‘O’ shape, but he quickly recovered to his signature smirk. “Well I certainly wouldn’t say no to that,” he chuckles, tone dripping innuendo on the final word.

The implication of what you said hits you like a freight train, and you scramble to correct yourself. “I just meant- I don’t mind sharing the bed! The air conditioning in the living room isn’t as good as mine, and it’s such a hot night-“

“Relax, sweetheart,” he interjects, using his second favorite pet name for you. “I’m just teasing. Trying to make you blush.” You suspect he succeeded in his attempt, if the warmth in your cheeks has anything to say about it.

Turning on your light, Eddie takes in his surroundings. He skims over your music collection, runs his fingers along the spines of your books, laughs quietly at the small collection of stuffed animals you still had from when you were a kid. Usually you would have felt embarrassed, but his laughter held no malice. He wasn’t making fun of you, simply reacting. You waited for his comment about your cuteness- a common adjective he’d use that you’d at first confused as mocking until realizing he meant it as a compliment- but it never came. Your room is slightly chilly, but it feels good on your skin after spending hours in the humid summer air. It even wasn’t that messy, thankfully, and the inviting softness of your bed was tempting you like a siren call despite your doubt that you’d be able to get any sleep with Eddie laying beside you. The man in question catches your attention again, tearing you from your racing thoughts by pulling his t-shirt over his head and unbuttoning his jeans.

“I sleep in just boxers, is that a problem? I mean, you know I don’t have a change of clothes or anything,” he explains.

“Yeah, totally fine!” you assure, trying not to be too obviously excited by the view of his tattoos on full display, “No big deal. Like really, it’s okay.” Admittedly, the reassurance was more to convince yourself than him.

He nods and takes his pants off- balling them up and tossing them to the side, then pulls back your duvet and crawls into bed, leaving enough room for you to get in as well. He lays on his side, one of his hands supporting his head as he stares at you expectedly. His unabashed behavior while undressing soothed your anxiety slightly, encouraging you to yank down and kick off your own jeans. You make the choice to actively ignore Eddie’s amusement at your eagerness. Normally this is when your bra would come off, but you decided instead to just leave it on, nervous that removing said item would be viewed as a step too far. Turning off your light, you slide in under the covers next to the boy you’ve had eyes for since you were 14.

You only have a full size mattress, so although the both of you fit it was unlikely the night would pass without making contact. The thought of even accidentally feeling his touch in your bed, in the dark, with neither of you wearing pants… It was as exhilarating as it was terrifying. You didn’t know if you should hope for or avoid it. Logically, in the long run it would be better for your own well-being to not let yourself fall too hard for someone who only thought of you as a friend, so you chose the latter. You tried to give him plenty of space and hoped he didn’t notice your slinking away from him. He noticed.

“What’s wrong pretty girl? Scared to touch me?” he jokes. If only he knew the truth in his statement. You deny it with a curt head shake, and he shoots you an unimpressed look at the obvious lie. Knowing he wouldn’t drop it, you exhale a shaky breath and scooch more toward the center of the bed. He still persists though, and your mind short circuits when he leans in close to whisper, “If you’re not scared, how about you let me hold you?” 

He’s challenging you, and you’re not about to back down. You nod and roll over to face away from him before that little voice in your mind can tell you this is a bad idea. He wraps one of his arms around your torso- hand resting against the underside of your boob, his pelvis pressed firmly against your behind, and his leg found its way to be sandwiched between yours, thigh warm against your core. With the humiliating realization that there’s only a single layer of fabric between your growing wetness and his bare skin, you try to discreetly position yourself in a way where he might not be able to tell you’re practically dripping just from cuddling alone.

“Why are you squirming, baby?” he hums in your ear, breaking the silence in the room as he flattens his palm against the area just above your belly button and holds you tighter against himself. “Are you not comfortable?”

He’s not hard, but the thin materials of his and your underwear isn’t enough to stop you from feeling his length settle in between your ass cheeks. You hold back a moan and force out “I am comfortable, I just… Um…”

He props himself up on the arm that was previously under his head and scoots away just far enough that he can take your shoulder and roll you onto your back, urging you to look at him. The light of the streetlamps outside filter in through the thin slots of the blinds on your window and illuminate your face, allowing him to see you clearly. 

“Aw sweetie, you’re blushing so pretty for me,” he murmurs, bringing his hand up to stroke your cheek. With a start, you realize from the gleam in his eyes that he’s teasing you.

You angrily push his hand away and accuse him just that. He doesn’t even try to deny it. Throwing the blanket off of you, you sit up and glare at him. He simply says that he ‘couldn’t help it’, and that ‘you just kept getting cuter the more and more flustered you became’. 

“Is this a joke to you? I’m just some… some…” you struggle for the right words, clearly upset. “Some dumb girl for you to play around with when you know you have no intention of returning her feelings?” 

His teasing sneer immediately fades as he follows you into a sitting position. “No sweetheart. Believe me, I never saw you that way,” he promises, “You’re so important to me.”

Your annoyance dissipates, hope blossoming in your chest. “Do you swear?”

“On my guitar.” he replies, smiling with you when you let out a small chuckle. A moment of quiet passes, the both of you just looking at each other. His flirtatious tone returns as he lightly caresses your thigh and says, “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you, baby?”

-

You’re brought back to the present when his hand on your bare thigh slipped underneath the hem of your baggy t-shirt and crept up the softness of your hips to pause at your waist.

“I could feel how hot you got against my thigh,” he whispers, dragging you closer to him then continuing the path of his hand upward until you could feel his calloused, guitarist fingertips along the underwire of your bra. “I could feel your pulse,” he practically growled, and you gasp out the air you were unconsciously holding, shocked by his statement. He pulls you closer even still, until you're nearly on his lap. His lips are almost touching your ear, and the hot breath released with his next words send a shiver straight through you. 

“Just say yes, baby. That’s all I need from you. A yes.” You turn to look at his eyes and see no trace of humor. 

“Yes.”

He removes his hand out from under your shirt so that he can take either side of your jaw. “If at any point you want me to stop, say the word and I will,” he tells you. Before you can question why you would ever want him to stop, he leans in and connects your lips.

The kiss is slow but firm, and you have to stop yourself from thinking about the women that frequent the Hideout on Tuesday nights, wondering if they have something to do with his supposed expertise. There’s no time for jealousy right now, not when Eddie’s brushing his tongue against your lower lip, wordlessly asking for entry. You grant permission, and when you feel the foreign muscle flexing next to your molars, you moan into his mouth. Eddie stops the kiss and laughs when that causes you to whine.

“Come here,” he says. “Straddle me.” So you do. 

Sitting astride his lap with your knees bent and tucked beneath you, you place your hands on his shoulders. His own hands slip underneath your shirt once more, palms pressed flat against your lower back as he kissed you again, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, biting gently, and pulling away. You hear a quiet ‘plop’ noise as it snaps back into place. He starts kissing just below your jaw and navigates his hands to your sides, latching onto your waist. His grip tightens as he starts rocking you against himself. 

You gasp, feeling his dick harden. “Oh Eds-“ but cut yourself off with your hand to your mouth.

His kiss leaves your jaw and his touch leaves one side of your waist as he roughly pulls the guilty hand away from your mouth, holding it raised beside your head. “Don’t try to be quiet,” he demands with an authoritative tone. You’re surprised by the sudden ordering, but the domineering was not unwelcome. His expression lightens and he relaxes as he explains, “It’s just us here. Let me hear all the pretty noises you make. The ones I've been imagining every night for weeks.”

The confession startles you even more than the ordering. “You think of me at night?” He hums in confirmation, letting go of your hand. It stays frozen in the air though, the shock from the image of him touching himself and getting off to the thought of you causing your brain to go blank.

“At night,” he presses a kiss to your neck, “the morning,” one to your collarbone, “afternoon,” another to the small bit of shoulder he can get to from where your shirt slid down. He looks up, his nose brushes against yours. “When I'm watching TV, playing guitar, planning campaigns... all the time. You don’t know what you do to me.”

Hearing that he’s been feeling the way you’ve felt for years drives you crazy. You grab his face and kiss him greedily, groaning when you feel him smile against your mouth and pull away yet again. 

“I know you think about me too, babygirl. I know you’ve been thinking of me,” he accuses. Your embarrassment is ignored as he continues, “I see how you look at me. I see how your eyes bulge outta your head whenever my shirt rides up and you can see my happy trail.”

“What?” you yelp, “You knew you were turning me on?” He starts laughing, and presses his face into the crook of your neck. “Eds, I thought I was a perv! I felt dirty!”

His humor vanished abruptly. He raised his head and stared directly into your soul, before growling, “Oh, I can make you feel dirty.” A shiver went up your spine as he started rocking you against him again, “I can make you feel really dirty. Do you want me to, baby?”

“Please.”

He grins widely. “You begging sounds even better than I imagined. Keep moving your hips for me, okay?” His hands stop guiding your movements as they leave your waist to travel up your front, bunching the fabric as he groped your chest over your shirt. You moan wantonly and do as he says, grinding on his cock without any direction. 

“You’re doing such a good job, sweetheart,” he praises, “Good girl.” 

He’s never used that before. You’ve heard ‘pretty girl’, ‘babygirl’… never ‘good girl’. You like it. A lot. You never realized how much you wanted to be a good girl for Eddie. How much you wanted to be his good girl.

“Raise your arms,” he commands, and you obey without question. You hold still for him as he pulled your shirt off, but once the cool chill of your air conditioned bedroom finally hit your heated skin, you immediately continued grinding against him. Despite this, his nimble fingers were able to skillfully undo your bra, and he ripped it from your body like it was a personal offense. He quickly seized the opportunity to take one of your nipples into his warm, wet mouth. One hand found its way to the flesh of your ass, fingers digging in and probably leaving marks, while the other massaged the breast not being attacked by his tongue. Your movement grew desperate, hips aggressively meeting his as you threw your head back in pleasure and made ridiculous lewd noises that you never even knew you were capable of. After a while he switched sides, making sure to give the other nipple the same amount of attention. 

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned when his lips finally left your chest, “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He was mesmerized by the sight of your tits bouncing in his face as you humped him. Your vulgar wailing never stopped as his lips went on with their assault to the delicate skin of your neck, in fact it impossibly raised in volume. “I bet you could cum just like this, couldn’t you? Before I even get my hands on that pretty pussy.” You glanced down at him and nodded dumbly, lost in the feeling. “God, you're so responsive. No one’s ever made it feel this good before, huh?”

Your grinding stutters momentarily before picking back up again, and you look away, trying to keep your expression as unreadable as possible. His brows furrowed in confusion before it finally clicked. “Sweetheart,” he says, taking your waist and halting your movement, “you’ve never been with anyone else?”

You hesitate to answer. “Are you going to make fun of me if I say I haven't?”

His disbelief is palpable, but he shakes his head no anyway. “Of course not, silly. I just wish I had known. I got you doing all the work and it’s your first time.” He lifts you off of his lap, his voice going from comforting to seductive as he says, “Lay back for me, baby. I'm gonna make it good for you. I don't want you thinking about anything except for how amazing it feels, understand?”

You bit your lip and nodded, climbing the rest of the way off of him and laying down lengthwise on the bed as Eddie stood up. You expected to get on top, but to your surprise he instead cupped his hands under your armpits and manhandled you so that you were horizontal across the bed. He grabbed your hips and positioned them on the edge of the mattress, your legs hanging off the side, with knees bent and feet on the floor. Then, he got down on his knees in front of you.

You pushed yourself up just in time to see his awestruck face when he spread your thighs apart. “Jesus, baby,” he gushed, “you soaked through your panties.” You can't find it in yourself to be embarrassed when he presses the pad of his thumb to where your clit is under the fabric. Your elbows give way under you and you fall onto your back, moaning loud. One of your thighs involuntarily twitches, rising up above his head as your calf tucked in and your toes curled. “All worked up aren’t you? Poor thing. I’m sorry for making you wait so long.” He holds your already raised leg in place, then slides his hand under your other thigh, hoisting that one up as well. With both of your legs elevated, he dips his fingers under the elastic of your underwear. “Up,” he instructs.

You dig your heels into the edge of the mattress and use them as support so you can do as he says. Once your hips are off the bed, he slides the panties off and down. You lower yourself and lift your heels, and Eddie finally pulls the last of the clothing off of your body. He tosses the garment to the side, not caring where it lands. After your feet lowered to rest on the floor again, he took your knees in both hands and spread you wide open, putting your drenched folds on full display. He kissed his way up to the apex of your thigh and you tensed, preparing yourself for his first contact with your aching center, only for him to turn his head and repeat this gesture on the opposite side.

“Pl-please Eds,” you disturb his actions with a broken voice, head thrown back again, this time in frustration instead of pleasure. “Please touch me. Please. I can’t- I’m so- Fuck.” Desperate and pathetic, you grasp both of his hands in yours as you look back down at him. “I'm so horny, I think I might literally, actually explode,” you exaggerate. “Please make me cum. Please, I can't take it.” 

He stares back at you slack mouthed and expressionless as you finish shamelessly begging. Your eyes bore into his, absolutely pleading. Finally, he smirks and leans down to lick a single straight line directly up your pussy. You squeeze his fingers- letting out a relieved groan, and he finds it so sweet sounding that he wished he brought a tape recorder. 

“So good for me, telling me exactly what you need and asking so politely,” he praises as he frees one of his hands from yours and starts rubbing slow, lazy circles on your clit. “Such good manners. Behavior like that should be rewarded, don't you think?”

“Yes. Oh my god.” It’s dark in your room, what with it being nearly 4 in the morning and the only source of light still being what little is coming in through your blinds. It does cast a slight glow as it bounces off your walls though, so despite the darkness Eddie swears he can see glistening in your eyes as you carry on rambling aimlessly. “Oh my god, thank you. Please, Eds.”

Eddie truly did mean to stop teasing you and get on with it, but the sight of you being so desperate to cum that you were reduced to tears shocks him so much he goes still. You sob out pitifully as you let go of his other hand and throw both of your arms over your face, hiding in the crooks of your elbows. He almost feels bad, but he can’t deny the deep throbbing it causes in his lower region.

“Are you crying baby?” he asks as he begins rubbing his hands up and down your thighs as if trying to console you. “You’re crying for me? I got you that needy?” You start squirming on the bed, and your feet stomp on the floor behind him. 

“Watch it now,” he chastised, his hands stilling and his grip tightening, “Remember what we said about good behavior being rewarded? Throwing a temper tantrum will get you nowhere.” You removed your face from its hiding spot and threw your arms back dramatically on the space of the bed above you. Your eyes strain, trying to force your vision to work better in the dark, and you can just barely make out Eddie’s stern expression. His eyebrow raised, “You want to be my good girl right?”

You feel a tear roll down your cheek as you try and fail to keep your voice steady. “I do want to be your good girl! But I've been so patient-“

“I’ll decide when you’ve been patient,” he interrupts strictly, cutting off your complaining. You almost protest, but think better of it and say nothing. “Tell me who’s in charge,” he demands.

“You are,” you comply willingly, stopping your squirming, “You’re in charge. I’ll behave.”

He smiles and loosens his grip “There we go,” he goes back to rubbing your clit, this time faster, with more pressure. You let out a whimper, your moaning starting up again. “Now was that so hard? Since it’s your first time, I’ll forgive your little outburst. Be grateful I’m feeling nice.” He can almost make out the ‘thank you, thank you, thank you’s hidden in between your whines.

Pulling his thumb away, he puts his tongue to work. He massages your clit up and down and side to side, until coming to the conclusion that spirals get the best response out of you. “Oh, found the way you like it, did I?” he asks between licks, “Is this the way your fingers do it when you’re all alone and thinking about me?” 

You nod vigorously. Your eyes squeezed shut at some point, and you might draw blood with how hard you’re biting your lower lip. Reaching down, you comb your fingers through Eddie’s hair as he swirls his tongue in circles. Pretty soon, you are grasping at the bedsheets, heels dug into his shoulder blades, toes curling. You’re loud, but speaking no words. Your head is completely empty and all you can focus on in the coil inside of you growing tighter, and tighter, and tighter. Suddenly, you feel Eddie slide two fingers into you and curl them upwards. You gasp so hard you nearly choke.

He lifts his mouth from your clit, quickly moving to continue the motions with his thumb, the fingers on his other hand working their way in and out of you fast and hard. “You gonna cum for me, pretty girl?” 

You look down at him with pleading, teary eyes. “Can I?”

That response causes his actions to falter ever so slightly, then he carries on with even more force than before. His fingers speed up, pumping in and out of you and hitting you just perfectly in the right spot every time, and your moans get impossibly louder. “So well behaved for me, asking permission. Fuck babygirl. You can cum. Whenever you want to, you can cum.”

He returns his mouth to you and sucks in while circling his tongue. That was all it took for you to start spasming underneath him. You came so quickly after Eddie giving the okay that it was easy for him to tell you’d been holding it back for a while. He keeps his fingers inside of you during your climax, wanting to feel the way your walls tightened and clenched around them. The assault on your swollen clit never ceases, helping you to ride out your orgasm for as long as possible, and he only eased off when the sensitivity caused you to push him away. He pulls out his fingers and sucks them clean before standing and kissing his way up your trembling body as you struggle to catch your breath. Picking you up from under your armpits again, he drags you to the middle of the mattress, lays you longways, then lifts his knees onto the bed to crawl on top of you. When he sees your blissed out face he can’t help but kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his lips. In between pecks, he strokes your hair and whispers comforts like ‘I got you’ and ‘Breathe, sweetheart, you did so well’. After about 5 minutes, you begin to regain your composure slightly, or at least enough to look at Eddie and see the adoration in his eyes. The sincerity in his expression makes your stomach flip, and it honestly almost feels like a small wave of aftershocks. He kisses at your neck again, sucking and biting slowly as he starts grinding on your thigh. You glance down, face full of lust as your eyes travel past his tattoos and body hair, until finally settling on the impressively sized tent he was still sporting.

“I want to make you cum, too,” you proclaim as you slide your hand down his abdomen until you reach his boxers and lightly graze his bulge.

“Don’t worry sweetheart,” he says, taking your chin in his hand and pulling you into a slow kiss. “We’re not done yet. Just letting you have a little breather.”

[lloromanic0]

HI sorry for the delay here’s the post I promised. xo love u all

I dreamed about this last night and had to write it.

(Can you tell that his mohawk era is my favorite?)

Fucking with Bill while he’s on tour (fem! reader)

At last the day that were the most excited about arrived. Last year you were able to get VIP tickets to meet your favorite band, Tokio Hotel, before their concert. You were thrilled you loved all the members but you had a special spot for the vocalist Bill Kaulitz, there was just something about him that attracted you so much.

You got to the meeting location half and hour before some girls already lined up, you didn’t expect to see many people because VIP tickets were a pain in the ass to get, and you knew how lucky you were to be able to get them. The 30 minutes passed by quickly, in groups of 5 the security let the people waiting come inside, you waited excitingly for your turn to come, you wanted to impress Bill in some way but you figured that just being yourself and being kind to him was the best option, before coming you even got him a small bouquet of yellow roses hopping he would like them.

It was finally your turn, you sat down with the rest of the girls and the four boys sat across from you, you got lucky enough to sit in front of Bill, he greets you with a small have a soft smile which you mimic. You all had a small talk every one took turns on telling something about themselves or asking something to the members,when the chatting time was up you all got to take pictures with the band.

As your turn got closer you started to get nervous to give the flowers to Bill, during the chatting time you noticed that he was looking at you many times, you didn’t want to sound crazy but you knew what you saw he was definitely checking you out.

It was finally your turn you approached them, greeting them all individually, Bill was the last one, after hugging him tightly you pulled away handing him the roses.

“It’s nothing special but I hope it’s of your liking…” you said while smiling at him, your face was so hot and red you felt like you could explode at any time. He took the flowers in his hands while grinning at you.

“You’re so sweet thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it, I’m happy you liked it.”

He stared in your eyes for a second.

“You’re very red sweetheart are you feeling alright?”

The nickname he used for your almost making you melt why did he make you feel like that you wanted him so bad.

“O-oh I’m sorry I actually woke up a bit under the weather today..” you lied with all the teeth in your mouth. He chuckled at your response not believing a single word that had just came out of your mouth, he didn’t say anything so that you wouldn’t be even more embarrassed.

“Okay guys let’s take these pictures quickly we need to hurry.”

You stood next to Bill, giving him a side hug, he was so warm and smelled so good you wanted to stay like this forever, his hand placed on your hip making your heart beat fast, he lightly stroked your hip, as a reaction you cleared your throat.

“You can get the pictures at the reception.” Said the photographer.

As you were about to walk away Bill grabbed your arm as he if wanted to tell you something, he got in front of you so no one could see you both.

He bends down a little to hug you again, and whispers in your ear.

“You were lovely, I want to see you again.”

You felt his hand in the back pocket of your jeans placing a small piece of paper inside. He pulled away winking at you, as you tried to walk away your legs feeling numb due to what just happened.

They all waved bye at you and you did the same, Bill smiled innocently at you.

Outside the building you reach for your back pocket to look at the paper.

“I’m staying at the hotel down the street come see me at 10pm room 324 3rd floor ;)”

You nervously stare at the piece of paper, of course you had a huge crush on Bill but you never expected this to happen.

During the concert Bill’s eyes wondered through the crowd looking for you, your beauty,kind words and actions in that single moment were enough for him to realize that he wanted to get to know you better. He always said that he believed in love at first sight and this might be it.

After the concert you made your way to the hotel, the night breeze blowing softly on your skin making you tug on your jacket tighter as you approached the hotel lobby.

You walked to the elevator, fixing yourself up on the mirror, exhaling nervously and excitedly at the thought of being alone in a room with Bill.

You stood in front of his door for a moment when you finally gathered the courage to knock on the door he immediately opened it and pulled you inside. You stared at him in confusion.

“Sorry don’t want people to see you, you know how it is.”

“Oh I understand..”

“Come on don’t just stand there, come sit.”

You followed him sitting on the edge of the bed, the room had minimal decoration the bed had white sheets, there was a mini fridge a Tv on the wall, a table in front of the bed and a bathroom, on the bed side table he placed a water jar with your flowers in it.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“A water would be nice…”

“Coming right up.” He reached for the mini fridge opening it, he took the water bottle in his hand making it look even smaller in between his large fingers.

“Here you go.” He gave you the water smiling at you, he sat down on the bed next to you.

“Did you have a safe walk?”

You shook your head yes while you chugged some of the water. Bill moved closer to you your heart begging to race.

“How was the concert? I didn’t see you in the crowd.”

“It was really good! I’m sorry I was not very close to the stage.”

“Next time let me know so I can get you to be on the front row where I can see you.”

“Will do.” You replied smiling.

Bill was now making eye contact with his beautifully sculpted face was hypnotic, his hair was down and he had no makeup on and he still looked like an angel to you.

You got even closer to him as your desire for him grew with each second, you knew he wanted this to so you just went for it. Placing your hands on both sides of his face and kissing him deeply, he got surprised at your reaction but he soon melted into the kiss, placing his hand on your lower back.

“A bit bold now aren’t you?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t like it.” You quickly replied.

“I very much did.”

“We’re just getting started.”

You pushed him on the bed getting on top of him.

“I think I’m love.” Said Bill in a slightly sarcastic tone.

“Oh shut up.” You replied kissing him one more time. His hands massaged your lower back and grabbed your ass a few times as you kissed and sucked on his neck, his strong sent invading your nose as he moaned under you.

“You smell so good Bill…” you whispered close to his ear lightly bitting it.

“You’re such a tease Y/N.”

“How do you know my name?” You ask giggling a bit.

“Did my research.” He replied winking at you. You rolled your eyes at him.

“How about you take this off?” You said tugging on his shirt. He lifted his arms up.

“Do the honors.”

You removed his shirt from him admiring his slim and toned upper body.

“Keep staring honey.”

“I will don’t worry.”

You reached down for his belt unbuckling it, unzipping his pants to palm his growing erection.

“Excited aren’t you?” You questioned.

He broke eye contact with you his cheeks now a light pink shade as you kept touching him through his underwear. You took his pants off and placed yourself between his legs.

“May I?” You asked while playing the waist band of his boxers.

“Please do.”

You smiled in response, removing his aching boner from his underwear.

“Fuck…” you whispering under your breath his size startling you. He grinned at your reaction, you pumped his length making him moan lowly. You lowered your face closer to his boner taking his tip in your mouth, you circled your tongue slowly around his tip making him shake and thrust his hips upwards.

“Bill don’t be so desperate now”

“Just p-please…”

“I didn’t know you were like that.” You said at the same time as you stroked him.

“I’m not hhhmm i-it’s just you mmhm~”

You stroked his as fast as you could for a moment making Bill grip the sheets and curse under his breath, you lean down again taking all of him in your mouth gagging a little.

“Oh my- fuckkk.” Bill moaned loudly as you moved your head up and down his cock. Your pussy was aching for him you needed him inside you and he felt the same,he needed to be inside you.

“Please Y/N ride me I need to feel your pussy mmhmm a-and cum inside you hhhmm~”

You quickly took your shirt off along with your bra, and your skirt as well. You got on top of him again, his hands immediately reaching for your panties to remove them desperately needing to feel your cunt tighten around him. You lowered yourself onto him slowly adjusting to him, his lips making an O shape feeling your tightness around him.

“Oh god you feel so good Y/N”

As you reached the base of his cock you lifted your hips back up slamming yourself back down onto him earning a scream of pleasure from Bill. You rode his dick merciless your tits bouncing on his face, as he grabbed on your thighs as hard as he could forming small bruises on your skin.

“Fuck t-too much s-slow down-“ he pleaded

“You can do it for me Bill.”

He turned you on too much not to react like this you wanted him to fill you up with his cum you wanted to claim him as yours.

As your legs started to get sore you used your knees to support you and grind your hips on his, his hands reaching for your ass to help you move your hips on him.

“I can’t wait any longer fuck I n-need to cum mmhmm-“ said Bill in a desperate voice his hips slamming upwards hitting that sweet spot of yours making you moan and tremble with his brutal thrusts.

You placed your hands on his chest for support grabbing on him forcefully your nails digging in his flesh as he kept thrusting in you non stop.

“F-fuck Bill I’m gonna cum..” You whimpered.

“Yes baby cum for me do it yeahh~”

You moved your hips along with his getting that friction you needed to cum all over his cock, he kept fucking you seeking his orgasm.

“Oh my god fuck I’m gonna cum so good in this pussy.” Grunted Bill, cumming deep inside you,his movements getting sloppier as he rode his orgasm.

You collapsed on his chest as he placed his hands behind your back hugging you tight both of you inhaling your natural scent as body warmth.

“That was so good Y/N oh my god.” Whispered Bill, as he stroked your hair.

“We should do this more often…” you replied.

“We will Y/N…I need you..”

You stayed in his room for a few hours,you showered together and he even gave a change of clothes, unfortunately you had to leave in the middle of the night since Bill didn’t want the media to come after you and you didn’t want to raise any attention either.

You kissed him one last time before heading out.

For surprise (or not) the next morning you and Bill were all over the gossip magazines and tv shows.

“How can they do this?” You questioned internally.

————————————————————————

Note: I had another dream with 2023 Bill (yummy) I’m currently writing it along with your requests thank u so much for sending them and please be patient with me😪

[prodagustd]

the road not taken 02 | myg

part two: get up and fall again

Summary: You could count two times when you thought you got over Yoongi and then realized you were wrong (or maybe three times?)

< part one | part three>

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress!oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: slow burn,angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension? lmao, use of drugs (just weed), flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!

—words: 11k

—a/note: I took the longest time to write this but I'm back!! I'm so happy to finally post this !! fun fact: while I was writing this I listened to let the light in by lana del rey on loop!! and ofc, last night by the strokes !! hope you like it, as always, you're welcomed to discuss this part in my asks. 🥰

series masterlist | teaser | playlist

Four years ago. 

Three weeks before New Year's Eve. 

Ever since you could remember you understood one thing that was going to define the first years of your life: you weren’t your brother. It wasn’t difficult to understand, but it was difficult to remember. 

There was a four year gap between Simon and you, and an abyss between who he was and who you were that people didn’t seem to understand. Even if you had no interest in it, just the idea of competing with the image of your brother was completely pointless; he was the first son of a first daughter, the first grandson, the perfect portrait of your mother’s face, while you were the last granddaughter, the one who came at the wrong time, the one whose eyes could only resemble the sad ghost of your father. 

You spent your preteen years witnessing how your aunts and your grandmother expected you to be the same, as if you were supposed to be as charming or as funny as him, despite the clear evidence that you were a completely different person. Maybe it was the dark clothes, or the black eyeliner you wore everyday, maybe your lack of social skills and the bad attitude in the mornings or just the desperate attempt to be different, while he was the cool sibling, you were seen as the weird one. 

Maybe growing up with that label taped to your forehead would have made you resent him, you didn’t remember when or how, but you managed to separate him from all that bullshit. You loved Simon not just because you were attached to the hip since you were born, but because he was one of the few people who never expected anything from you but to be yourself. He always encouraged you to wear whatever clothes you wanted and listen to whatever screaming rock band you liked at the moment even if he didn’t understand any of it.  And after all it wasn’t his fault that he was tall and handsome and good at basketball, it wasn’t his fault that you couldn’t and didn’t want to be a female version of him. You decided to embrace the difference. You weren’t your brother, and because of that you had to fight your way to find your own self. 

When you found The Alley, or as Yoongi called it, the theater near the park with the weird fountains, you felt it clicked for you. It wasn’t just your theater classes, it was a place filled with people just like you, people who understood you. You didn’t have to explain your jokes there, you didn’t have to think twice before speaking, the image of your brother wasn’t hovering over you when people saw you, it was nice.

For the first time you were part of a community, you spent more time in The Alley than in your home, you knew all the bands who came to practice at the place, you knew the lady who cooked pizza for all the movie nights, you were friends with the guy who sold the tickets and the girl who worked at the bar. You spent all your summers volunteering with your friends, making popcorn, accommodating the seats, writing the plays you were going to perform when October came, it was part of you. 

But when you had to leave for college you knew you had to leave everything behind. It’s been a long time since you outright refused to feel something remotely close to nostalgia. You refused to live evoking memories, to think that a fleeting good moment could make up for all the bad ones. It’s been a long time since you outright refused to live in the past, but tonight seemed to be an exception. 

When your feet turned the corner of the park and your eyes found the Christmas Lights decorating the old theater on the other side of the street, you were hit by a wave of something you knew you shouldn’t feel, something close to relief. A feeling you always seemed to run away from. 

“Should we buy popcorn?” Yoongi’s soft voice made you come out of your trance. You looked at him, waiting for the traffic light to turn red so you could cross the street. 

“We need to get in line to secure our seats first.” You explained to him, feeling a rush of nervousness washing down your body. When you had your last day at The Alley you said goodbye to everyone and never made plans to come back, this was unexpected.

“But what if popcorn runs out?” He asked, as if that could be a possible scenario. “The line isn’t even that long.”

He pointed to the short line at the entrance, which was formed by just five people. 

“Popcorn is not going to run out.” You rolled your eyes. “And even if the line is not long, we still need to get the best sets, they are not numbered.” 

Yoongi stood in his place, understanding your logic, but at the same time wondering how did you know that the seats weren’t numbered in the first place. 

He frowned “How did you know?” He asked. You turned to him, looking a bit confused, but then, a green light lit up his face, the traffic light allowing you to cross the street. You grabbed his hand, dragging him with you. 

“Hurry up!” You exclaimed, quickly crossing the street to reach the end of the line.

Yoongi ran after you, but didn’t demand the answer of his question when you reached the end of the line. It was like both of you agreed not to disrupt one of those rare good moments when you didn’t have a frown on your face, it was so hard to grasp it that he decided to do whatever you said, he even let you make fun of him when you realized he was wearing a dress white shirt under his coat, just for the sake of keeping a smile on your face. 

You touched the collar of his shirt, tugging from it just to annoy him. 

“Ouch!” He complained, but didn’t do anything to pull away from you. 

“My mom is probably thrilled that I’m hanging out with you.” You mentioned, fixing the collar and smoothing the fabric with your fingers like you weren’t the one who messed it up. “I bet she thinks that if I spend enough time with you, you’ll turn me into a lawyer like you.” 

Yoongi scoffed, believing that impossible “I’m not a lawyer yet.” He said, and you knew that, but he wasn’t far from it. “But even if I was, I couldn’t turn you into one.” 

“Of course not, we can’t both be lawyers.” You murmured, leaning on the wall behind you. “Besides, I couldn't be a lawyer… I’ve never learned to lie.” You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, waiting for his reaction, but he just rolled his eyes, sighing. 

“You’re mean…” He hissed. 

But Yoongi seemed to be fine with it, he took all your mean jokes about lawyers like a bullet, accepting his destiny, accepting how different both of you were. 

In times like these, it hurt a bit to notice how kind he was, from the tip of his red nose to the palms of his rough hands, kindness was all he had to offer. The contrast of how hard you struggled to be nice to how easy it was for him was palpable, Yoongi smiled to the skinny teenage boy who checked your tickets and the girl who gave away flyers advertising the next movie night the following weekend and never forgot to say thank you, while you had to constantly remind yourself not to curse every person who crossed your way, at least not out loud. 

Once you were inside the place you forced yourself to shake those thoughts off your head, determined to drag Yoongi across the principal hall in order to get your seats without looking back. 

There were multiple kinds of chairs at the theater, it was one of the things that made it so special. The Alley was never built to be a theater, it was a big old house bought by a group of friends years and years ago. They tore up a few walls and built it to be a place to watch movies, paint, do theater, play music or write poetry. On movie nights they put together different chairs and a projector and it suddenly turned into a cinema. 

You were sure Yoongi didn’t know any of this, it was the first time he put foot in this place, but you, who had plenty of experience, knew where the best seats were. 

The best seats were located in the middle of the room, it was a couple of recycled red cinema chairs. You remembered that Sid, one of the owners of the place, told you that he got them at an auction and that they were vintage, but to you they just looked old and dusty at the time. Of course over time you realized that they were the best place to be, they were located just in the perfect place and they were the most comfortable, but they were only two sets of four chairs, so if you didn’t hurry up you would have ended up at the back of the room sitting on some bleachers. 

Yoongi didn’t understand why you were in a rush to get there, but you were right, you got the best seats. 

“Now, stay here.” You told him “I’m coming back with popcorn.” 

You thought it was only right that if he bought the tickets, you were supposed to buy popcorn and drinks. But then again, you weren’t supposed to think of this as a date at all. 

You rushed to the entry of the room, turning on the corner near the bar and saw the stand of popcorn. As you stood in the line, you realized you didn’t notice how cold it was outside until you felt how warm the place was inside. You guessed that the hurry to get to the seats didn’t give room to think about it at all. 

Almost four years went by and it was like time didn’t pass at all inside these walls. Things in your hometown never changed, and sometimes you liked it that way, but most of the time it was the main reason why you wanted to run away from it. Your mom always said you were a creature of metamorphosis, always changing, and you accepted the title for a while, but now you were wondering if your need to morph just meant that you could never be truly happy with any of the paths that you chose for yourself. 

In no time you bought the popcorn and came back to your seat, a little displeased with the thought, but glad that you didn’t find anyone who could recognize you. You were safe for now, perhaps you could watch the movie and come back home going unnoticed. 

But of course things never worked in the way you wanted. 

“Sorry, excuse me.” You murmured, managing to carry two cups filled with coke and a bucket of popcorn, you watched your step carefully, trying not to step on other people. You raised your gaze, focusing on reaching the empty seat next to Yoongi, who was looking at his phone. 

You took a seat next to him, handing him the drink. He murmured a small ‘thank you’, but didn’t look at you. “What are you doing?” You asked him, burying a finger on the side of his torso, making him jump in surprise.

“I’m trying to prove you wrong, look…” He replied, showing the screen of his phone to you. You narrowed your eyes, trying to focus your gaze on whatever he was showing to you, a website filled with reviews of Home Alone 2. “It has good reviews.”

You snatched the phone off his hands, observing the preview photo and the poster of, what it seemed to be, Yoongi’s favorite movie. You scrolled for a couple seconds, checking if what he said was true. “Three stars' average reviews is not good.” You informed him, but now he looked offended. 

“Three stars is good for a Christmas movie, what are you talking about?” He insisted. 

“What are you talking about? The first one has five stars’ average reviews, if you settle for bad Christmas movies, that’s on you.” You teased him, giving him his phone back. 

He shook his head, scoffing “I can’t believe you think Home Alone 2 is a bad Christmas movie, it has that scene with the pigeon lady!” He kept insisting. 

“Which scene?” You asked, but by doing that, you gave yourself away. 

“What do you mean which scene?” He asked, confused. You opened your mouth, wanting to defend yourself, but then he gasped. “God, Pinky. You have never watched Home Alone 2, haven’t you? 

Your mouth hung open, starting to laugh “I-... I just-”

“No, I can’t believe it.” He laughed, shaking his head in disapproval “You never watched it.”

“I’ve watched the beginning, okay?” You tried to explain. “And I think it was enough for me to decide if it was a good movie or not.”

“Bullshit.” Yoongi said, now a bit offended that you talked shit about a movie that you didn’t even finish.“You can’t decide that if you didn’t even watch the scene with the pigeon lady.”

You laughed even harder, covering your mouth with the palm of your hand. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

He opened his eyes widely. “Of course you don’t, you didn’t watch the movie!” He exclaimed “You just have to stop pretending to be a film critic to enjoy some movies, you know that?”

You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, the fact that I’m here means that I’m willing to try.”

The fact that you were here meant you were irremediably in love with him, a voice in your head reminded you of that, and maybe it was the same thing. 

“For me?” He teased you, making you close your eyes for a split second. That didn’t help at all. 

You sank into your seat, “For you, I guess.”

And that could've been the beginning of the end of the night. You and Yoongi watching the movie and coming back home before it was too late and laying in bed remembering every word he said, like they meant something else, before falling asleep.

But nothing could ever be that simple. 

“You!” A high pitched voice interrupted the silence. You raised your gaze, startled. Your eyes found a redhead girl turned around in the seat in front of you, pointing her finger at you with a big smile decorating her bright red lips.  “I knew I recognized that voice from somewhere!”

You felt your stomach drop.

Minnie. 

“Oh, God, Minnie.” You breathed out. “You scared me!”

Perhaps on the way here you prayed so hard not to see somebody you knew tonight  that whoever that was up there in the sky heard you, but instead of helping you, decided to laugh at you in your face, because sitting directly in front of you was Minnie, one of your closest partners during your theater days. 

And the only person who you ever told about Yoongi. 

“Do I look that old?” She giggled, cupping her face in her palms “It’s only been a few years, but I feel like I haven’t seen you in decades!”

 “Yes…I mean, no!” You pressed your lips together, crossing looks with Yoongi, who looked at you with curious eyes. “I just didn't expect to see you here.”

“Me?” Minnie scrunched her nose, laughing “I didn’t expect to see you, what are you doing here?”

“Me?” You nervously laughed. “I was in town and I- we came to see the movie…” You managed to explain, trying to act as normal as possible, but you were sure that your shaking eyes, jumping from Yoongi’s face to Minnie’s, were giving you away. “This is Yoongi, by the way. And this is Minnie, a friend.” You introduced both of them. 

If any of them realized how nervous you were, they didn’t say a thing. 

Minnie, as expressive as she was, opened her eyes wide open, surprised. 

“Oh, Yoongi, Yoongi?” She asked, emphasizing every vowel of his name.

“Is there another Yoongi?” Yoongi laughed, turning his head to see you. 

You wanted to vomit. 

“Mmm, not that I know of!” She smiled, offering her hand for him to shake. “Nice to finally meet you, Yoongi-Yoongi.” Yoongi took her hand, shaking it three times right in front of your petrified face. “I heard a lot of things about you back in the day.”

Minnie winked at you in a very exaggerated manner, instantly making you freeze in your place. Now you were a hundred percent sure that you were about to vomit, but maybe that would be an amazing scenario for you, you would have to run away to the closest bathroom and wouldn’t have to be in the presence of this interaction.

“Oh, really?” Yoongi smiled, displaying his gummy smile. “What things?”

“You know, all kinds of things.” She raised her eyebrows, clearly amused with the look on your face, that begged her to please shut up. 

“Me and Minnie- we used to come here a lot when we were in high school.” You intervened in the conversation, trying to change the subject as soon as you could without thinking much. 

“That’s right, we were pretty close!” She reminisced “We were always paired up together.”

“Paired up in what?” Yoongi asked, naturally. 

“Theater.” She explained without giving you much time to think about saying something else. “Didn’t you know that your girl had her beginnings here, at The Alley?”

You gulped, and Yoongi, for the first time during the night, seemed to read you just right. He tilted his head, surprised “Well, no. She didn’t say anything.”

“Really?” She frowned, not understanding why, but Yoongi immediately got it. 

“It was a long time ago…” You trailed off, trying hard not to make it seem like a big deal, like it was just a hobby you had when you were a teenager, but Yoongi knew you. He could see it in your eyes, the same look you had when Simon caught you using his legos, when you had to tell your mom you got suspended for getting in a fight in high school, the same look you had when you were caught. It was clear to him that you didn’t want him to see that part of you, whatever it was.

“I mean, she’s always been pretty mysterious, hasn’t she?” Minnie said “It takes a while to figure her out, you’ll get there.”

“I think I’m close enough, aren’t I?” His answer was smooth, almost annoying you. He playfully squeezed your knee and you wished he hadn't done it, because your old friend was now looking at you with stars in her eyes full of excitement. It had been almost four years since you had a proper talk with Minnie, but despite the fact that little to nothing happened between you and the man next to you, you were sure she was convinced you were on a date right now. 

And perhaps it was not just his hand on your knee, maybe it was the fond look on his eyes too, seeking complicity in his jokes, but you were not going to go down that route tonight. You scoffed. “Not one bit.” You said, out of bitterness, because Yoongi knew you as well as your brother, perhaps his only flaws were being dumb and blind, but that came with being a man anyway. 

For your own good, the lights of the room flickered twice, meaning that the movie was about to start soon. “That means I should leave you alone, right?” Minnie sighed,  “But it’s really nice to see you here after so long, sweetheart.” 

You nodded, offering her a soft smile, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty. It was in Minnie’s nature to always offer love and kindness to everyone, but it was hard to hold her gaze when she called you by that name, knowing that you didn’t deserve it. 

 “It’s nice to see you, too.” Was all you could say, despite it being a lie. 

In another universe you would’ve loved to see your old friend and feel something bigger than nostalgia, but you couldn’t, you felt obligated to reject the feeling. You couldn’t live in the fantasy of what could have been. 

She was about to turn around, but before she could do it, she raised one of her fingers, like she just remembered something. “By the way… Are you still doing theater?” She inquired.

You shrugged, shaking your head “Ummm… Not really…”

She pouted, disappointed. “That’s a shame, because… I don’t know, it’s crazy that I’m seeing you tonight. I know of someone who’s looking for someone just like you, if you were interested.” Her words lingered in the air, but the lights flickered again.  “But I’m guessing I should keep that for after the movie… And Yoongi!” She exclaimed, pointing at him “I’m glad that you finally stopped dating dumb girls, my friend right there was very popular around here. You’re very lucky.”

You almost gasped, immediately turning your head to Yoongi, who just scoffed amused. Before you could even breathe, your friend turned around exactly when the lights went off, starting the movie right away.

You held your breath for what felt to be an eternity, but in the darkness you saw a smirk tugging from Yoongi’s lips, being followed by an outburst of laughter. The sound of his quiet laugh made you freeze in your place, was he laughing at you?

You opened your mouth, trying to find an explanation for your friend’s comment, but he shook his head as if he was stopping you, clearly entertained by the shocking look on your face. “Oh, save it for later.” He whispered, brushing it off. 

You pressed your lips together, sinking in your seat as you observed him focusing on the movie, and you were supposed to do the same, but you couldn’t think of anything else. The only thing you could hope for was that he couldn’t see how red your face was, because you sure as hell could feel it. 

God, you wanted to die, but whoever put you through this whole thing knew that death could only be seen as kindness. 

How come that after years of quitting theater you were still being this dramatic? You didn’t know, but tonight death felt like a greater destiny than the embarrassment you felt. 

In situations like these, you remembered two specific times during the past seven years when you thought you got over Yoongi, but then you realized you failed miserably.

You evoked the memory of those two situations for a special reason, to teach you a lesson: you must not continue to engage with the man sitting next to you. There were three reasons for you to learn from this lesson, because otherwise:

It would hurt your mind. 

It would hurt your heart.

It would hurt your soul.

These seemed three perfectly logical reasons to learn the lesson, but you were never the best student. 

The first memory that always came to mind was the first time Yoongi and Simon came back home for Christmas after going to college. It had been six months since you decided to convince yourself that the last two years you spent being in love with him were just a fever, but when Yoongi walked in the room and you saw that he got a new haircut and pierced his ears, you thought that the plan “get over my brother’s best friend” would not work at all, at least not now. Maybe you could try the following year.

(Spoiler: the following year did not work either.)

The second time was last summer, a few months ago, when both of them came back for summer break and Yoongi invited you to some pool party. You were supposed to go with Simon, but at the last minute he ended up getting sick and told you two to go alone. There was a time when you believed that Simon worked as some kind of barrier between you and Yoongi, hanging out with them meant that now you were a group of three, it reminded you that the only reason you kept seeing Yoongi was because he was Simon’s best friend, nothing else. And when you and Yoongi were alone, well… It was different.

That night none of you were planning to get into the pool, it was a strange house full of strange people and it almost felt like you were crashing the party. You were wearing a black summer dress and Yoongi was wearing jeans, you only went for free alcohol and to check if someone had any weed, you thought you were safe. Of course every little effort you made trying not to think that way about him anymore was ruined when decided to take off his shirt, grab you by your hips and jump in the pool, dragging you with him. 

Needless to say, you were furious.  The only thought that crossed your mind was that neither of you had a change of clothes, but he didn’t care. When you got your head out of the water, you saw him laughing. 

You gasped “Fuck you!” You punched his arm, not caring that everyone around you was observing you, laughing because he did something cute.

He kept laughing “I’m sorry, you looked hot!” He defended himself, grabbing your arms to pull you closer under the water. 

“What!?” You shouted, fighting against his hold but wondering if you heard that right. 

“You looked like you needed a dip!” He clarified, shouting back. His lips stretched widely, showing you a white smile. You wished you could punch that cheeky expression off his face, but you were too busy trying not to sink into the water as he firmly gripped your waist, crashing your body against his bare chest. 

“You idiot, I can’t swim!” You whined, gripping his shoulders so you wouldn’t drown. 

He snickered, hugging you closer. “It’s fine, Pinky, I wouldn’t let you die in front of all these people.”

The moment you realized you had not gotten over Yoongi was not then, it was not when he took off his shirt either, and it was not when you saw him running his fingers through his wet hair, nor when you saw the drops of water dripping down his wide back, no. Not even when he wrapped his strong arms around your body or when he gripped your hips and lifted you up to seat you on the edge of the pool. You realized that you were still in love with Yoongi when he sat next to you, and when he realized that you were not playing, that you were really angry, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed your forehead, whispering “I’m sorry.” 

The heart clenching memory of the look on his face, the sound of his voice and the touch of his lips against your skin were enough to screw you up, but not enough to make you learn the lesson.

Now, sitting next to him, you began to think that you were finally losing your mind when you tried to focus on the movie for the first ten minutes, and then for the next thirty minutes, and the next fifty, but when an hour passed you found out, or you just remembered, that it was useless to focus on something else when Yoongi was by your side. 

You often forgot how impossible it was for you to ignore Yoongi’s presence, even in the most packed and loudest rooms, but the confirmation that you finally drove yourself insane was when you noticed that you just couldn’t ignore his arm laying next to yours in the shared armrest, or your hands touching when you reached to grab popcorn, and you certainly couldn’t ignore his fingers when they reached to play with the fabric of the hem of your sleeve. 

You carefully looked down to the arm rest, observing his fingers tugging the tiny piece of ruffle fabric at the end of your sleeve. He wasn’t trying to get your attention or to annoy you, it was something almost unconscious, a small gesture, very easy to miss, but it was enough for you to stop breathing for a moment. Now, it was impossible to ignore the warmth of his fingers slightly grazing over your wrist. 

You sighed deeply, feeling the failure sinking in your bones once again. The line between what you were supposed to feel and what you were actually feeling was always blurry, but this time seemed to be completely erased, and once again, you were the one to blame for thinking that this time seeing Yoongi could be any different. 

You were screwed up again. 

You could say you enjoyed the last part of the movie, at least the parts where you were zoning out enough to quiet your mind, but when the lights were turned on you remembered that your brain hated you.

Your eyes swept the place, observing the people around you clapping as the credits rolled down. 

“So?” His voice sneaked into the hustle and bustle of your head, making you turn to look at him, but your eyes focused on the almost empty bucket of popcorn on his lap. “Do you like it? I’ve never seen Home Alone on a big screen.”

You grabbed a handful of popcorn from the very bottom of the bucket. “I’ve seen it plenty of times on a big screen.” You said, stuffing your mouth with the food so you wouldn’t answer any of the questions you knew he was about to make, but the second those words left your mouth you realized you gave yourself away.

“Yeah, I imagine.” He scoffed, signaling with his head towards the empty seat where Minnie was sitting a few seconds ago. You were grateful that she disappeared the moment the movie ended so she wouldn’t hear this conversation. “I heard some of it just now.” You huffed, pretending to be tired of him and chewing long enough to prevent yourself from talking. “Is there anything else I should know? Apart from the fact that you have a secret twin who takes theater classes and has friends who are actually nice?”

The only thing that could come out of your mouth was something rude. “Oh, shut up.” You spat, looking at anything else except his face. 

Yoongi shifted on his seat with a shameless smirk decorating his face, getting closer to you. “Don’t! Don’t shut me up.” He laughed, casually grabbing your face between his fingers so you wouldn’t run away from his gaze. “I want to know all about that, like, were you really talking shit about me during high school?”

You frowned, remembering what Minnie said about Yoongi dating dumb girls. Of all the conclusions he could have drawn from that, was that the one he came up with?”

“I wasn’t… talking shit about you.” You wanted to explain “Have you considered that I was just really into gossiping?”

He snorted, “It’s the same thing.” 

“It’s not.” You denied. 

“So you were gossiping about me?” He asked “About the girls I dated?”

“C’mon, what about it?” You tried to dismiss as quickly as possible “I was like fourteen, and in my defense, you never had good taste in girls.” 

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, a bit offended “Why? You really think the girls I dated were dumb?” You bit your bottom lip, trying to suppress a laugh. “That’s not very feminist of you.”

You rolled your eyes “Oh shut up, what do you know about feminism?” You said. “Those were just… facts.”

“Yeah, I’m sure of that.” He scoffed “What I’m not so sure about is that thing your friend said… That I’m really lucky to be with you.” 

“Ignore her.” You tried to cut him, looking away so he wouldn’t notice how embarrassed you were.

“No, why?” He smiled, poking fun at you. “She said you were really popular, but I don’t get it. I don’t know a man who could stand your behavior for more than two hours. Besides me, of course.”

You could be offended by that, but it was the truth. 

“Well, they couldn't,” You said, crossing your arms over your chest. “They just wanted me for my talent.”

“Let me doubt that.” He said “If you were so good, why did you never tell me?”

“Well, it was a secret” You confessed, there was no point in hiding now. “I didn’t want anyone to know, people would think it was dumb.” 

“And when did you care about what other people think?”

You sighed. All the time, you wanted to say, but you kept that for yourself. 

“I just... wanted it for myself, no one had to know.” You explained.

Yoongi waited a few seconds for you to say something else, but you weren’t willing to pour your heart to him just yet. Yes, when you found The Alley you discovered a part of yourself that was completely unique, but that didn’t mean you wanted to share it. It was for you only, and you were happy with that. 

“Well, Pinky.” He sighed, squeezing your knee like he always did. “Even if it was a secret… I’m telling you, you were pretty obvious.” 

“What do you mean?” You frowned, confused

 “I mean, you always liked High School Musical a little bit too much.” He explained as a mocking smirk tugged from the corners of his lips. “At first I thought it was just Zac Efron, but now it makes sense.”

You nudged his shoulder before the frown in your face disappeared into laughter. “High School Musical is the best movie ever, to be obsessed with it was just logical.” You tried to excuse yourself “That and, of course, Zac Efron.”

“I never thought you would have a thing for basketball players.” He muttered, trying to play nonchalant as his eyes wandered towards the corner of the room, circling back to your gaze. You realized he was expecting an answer for that. 

“Kind of.” You waved off, pretending to be laid back about it. “But only the ones who have this internal struggle about their father’s plans for their future and their unusual passion for musical comedy.”

He let out an amused snort. “Very specific, what a shame.”

You stared at him for a second, wondering what game he was trying to play now. 

You tried so hard to keep your face straight, to try to show him that you weren’t phased by any of his stupid jokes. You wanted to remind him that you weren’t like any of those girls who were charmed just by the sight of his eyes, you weren’t like those girls he stopped in the hallways just to make them giggle when you were in high school, you wanted to make clear that you were different — except that, of course, you weren’t. The moment he displayed that specific smirk, you committed the unforgivable crime of blushing. 

But he was quick to dismiss it, he always was. 

And you were obligated to forget about it. 

“So? Why did you leave it?” He inquired, “Were you that bad?” He ignored that the room was now almost empty. Maybe in another situation you would’ve taken advantage of that and told him it was time to go to avoid telling the truth, but why hide now? Maybe telling the truth wasn’t so bad. 

You smirked, rolling your eyes. “I was the best one in my group, you don’t even know.” 

“Yeah?” He moved closer to you with big eyes, showing you how curious he was.

“Of course, do you have any doubts?” 

“Well, yes, a few.” He teased “I’d have to see it for myself.”

“Sure, when they clear the stage I’ll do a demonstration just for you.” You joked, successfully making him laugh. 

“That would be an amazing way to avoid my question.” He pointed.

You felt your chest getting lighter, and if that hinted you that it meant something dangerous, you ignored it. 

“I wasn’t doing that.” You tried to defend yourself. 

“You do that all the time.” He reminded you, and he was right. You bit back a smile, darting him a look for exposing you. 

“Fine, then. I’ll be honest.” You surrendered, maybe Yoongi could convince you to jump off a cliff if he looked at you with those eyes. “I left it when I was finishing high school, I was about to leave for college and… I had to grow up, you know? I grew too attached to this place but I knew I couldn’t cling onto these things forever.”

“Can’t you?” He questioned “Didn’t you like to do it?”

“I mean, yes, but-”

“Then, why drop it?” He interrupted.

You breathed in, wishing that you could find the words to say it in a way that made sense, because you weren’t sure what was right or wrong anymore. 

“Maybe I was on an ego trip back then, I don’t know.” You admitted. “I thought I was genuinely good but I couldn’t do anything about it, like I was stuck here. I had to let it go, for me it’s all or nothing.”

Perhaps you weren’t talking only about theater now. Perhaps you were talking about everything, perhaps you were talking about him. And it was a bit harsh, but it was the truth, or what you decided to be the truth.  Yoongi took one hard look at you, as if he was expecting you to realize how dumb that sounded, but you already knew that, otherwise you wouldn’t be there right now, at home before Christmas because you dropped out of college. You didn’t even know if when you left for college that excuse made sense, you just knew that you were bitter and angry and if you couldn't follow your dreams, you didn’t want them at all. And if you couldn’t be with Yoongi, you couldn’t see him at all. 

You ripped the bandaid off, but three years later it exploded in your face.

“All or nothing?” He repeated, but you just nodded. “But did you try first? Because as far as I know you didn’t.”

You bitterly laughed,“Yeah, right” You got up from your seat, ready to leave “And who would’ve taken me seriously?”

He got up with you, blocking the way to stop you from getting out from the sea of chairs just yet. You raised your chin, finding his eyes. “I would have.” He casually mumbled, but his words echoed in your head, clenching your heart. 

You tried to search in your brain for something snarky to say, but you froze under his gaze. “And If I wouldn’t have…” He continued “If I were a complete prick who doesn’t care about you, you should’ve done it anyway. Even if your mom puts on a bad face.”

You wanted to stop him, to shut him up. But he was right, even if you didn’t need to hear that tonight. You loved your mom and you knew she didn’t expect anything from you but to be happy, she was just worried, you knew that, but you hated that she had to see you trip with your own decisions. 

“Have you ever tried to be wrong?” You asked him, pushing his chest with your palms. “Like, just once?” Walking past him, hearing his laugh behind you followed by his quick steps running after you. 

“Don’t be mad ‘cause I’m right.” He teased. 

“I’m not mad.” You said, walking towards the entrance, hearing music coming from the other room. “Just annoyed that you had to go to college and left me here making dumb decisions.” 

He smiled, happy that you decided to show a glimpse of love for him. “Do I need to remind you that you’re just twenty one and your life is not over?”

“Yes, maybe.” You said “Several times a day, please.”

You stood in the hall, attempting to put your coat back on, but he stopped you, stealing the piece of clothing away from you. “What are you doing?” He asked, smiling. “Don’t you know that we have to dance now?”

You widely opened your eyes, almost completely forgetting that. When you bought the tickets for movie nights, you were also invited to the afterparty that was held right after the movie ended, hence the loud music playing in the next room, the biggest one of the place. You didn’t think Yoongi would be interested in staying. 

“Do you want to dance?” You checked first. You didn’t know if you were interested in staying either. 

“C’mon, I have plenty of experience from frat parties.” He bragged, taking a few steps back towards the room where the music came from. 

You shook your head. “This isn’t like those parties you went to with Simon where they play Shape Of You every three songs” 

“Why would it be different?” He said, slightly offended. Yoongi kinda liked Shape Of You…  

You grabbed his hand, dragging him into the next room as you asked him something very important, “Yoongi, do you know who The Strokes are?”

After entering the room, Yoongi disappeared for a few moments to leave your coats in the cloakroom of the place, leaving you alone to collect your thoughts once again. When you first entered the place to watch the movie you couldn’t wait to leave, and now you were in a dark room under the red lights, feeling excited at the idea of dancing like you were a teenager again. It was time for you to understand that your life was already a mess, nothing was going to change if you stayed at The Alley dancing just for tonight.

When Yoongi came back you were quick to drag him towards the center of the dancefloor, right when the first chords of Last Nite by the Strokes began to resonate in the room, you couldn’t help but feel a rush of happiness running down your body. Yoongi looked at you funny, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. He didn’t expect that you, of all people, would be excited to dance. 

It turned out that Yoongi didn’t live under a rock, he did know who The Strokes were, but barely. You knew that he always preferred hip hop and rap, but the lack of interest he had for other genres surprised you. “I don’t know the song!” He shouted over the music 

“What about it?” You said, grabbing his hands to pull him closer. “You must dance anyway, or they’ll kick you out!”

The look of terror in Yoongi’s eyes made you laugh, but you didn’t pity him, he was the one who wanted to dance in the first place, even when both of you knew that he wasn’t the kind of person who dance at parties, he wasn’t the kind of person who danced at all. 

“How!?” He asked, ignoring the mass of people jumping around him. 

“Just do what I do!” You exclaimed, shaking your head side to side to the rhythm, making the strands of your hair hit your face, and his face too. Yoongi laughed, knowing then that if he didn’t dance he would look like an absolute loser. He was still hesitant to follow you, but when you began to jump, he slowly began to jump too, trying hard to shake his head the same way you were doing as he felt his ribcage shake from his laughter. 

You nodded your head, happily tapping your feet against the ground to the loud rhythm of the drums “Oh, baby I feel so down, oh, it turn’ me off” You sang to him, but he shook his head, disappointed that he didn’t know the lyrics and couldn’t sing the words back to you, but you didn’t care, you were happy enough watching him trying to copy your moves. 

You grabbed his hands, perhaps taking advantage of the situation to tangle his fingers with you, opening your arms with your hands still connected to his, shortening the distance. “I’m not a good dancer either.” You said, maybe way too close to his face. 

Yoongi scrunched his nose, giving you a half twirl to make your back crush against his chest, trapping you between his arms. “Are you saying I’m not a good dancer?” You felt his lips brushing against your cheek, making you shiver. 

You closed your eyes shut, trying to breathe in. “Not all!” You yelled, spinning out of his arms. “But no one’s watching.”

He took the liberty to slide his hands down your torso, gripping your waist and pulling you close to his body. “You are watching.” He said, like he was reminding you. 

“Then, impress me.” 

You were thankful that the sound of the music drowned the sound of your heart, who was threatening to run away from your chest in the exact moment he smiled at you, accepting the challenge. 

You couldn’t count the amount of times Yoongi made you spin in the room, like you were dancing a waltz, before you realized that neither of you were wearing clothes made for dancing, you were wearing a black long sleeve shirt and Yoongi was wearing that ridiculous white dress shirt that made him look like he came out of one of your dreams when he rolled up his sleeves.  As one song ended and another one started, he began to stop caring if he didn’t know the lyrics, it was fine as long as he followed you, but when your hands began to felt sweaty and you felt like you needed air, you decided it was time to leave, but not before you finished dancing Song 2 by Blur, because what other chance would you have to dance Song 2 by Blur with Yoongi? And what other chance would you have to watch him copy every move you made like you were an expert at dancing? And what other chance would you have to be alone with him without feeling like your heart was sinking? It was like the loud music didn’t allow you to feel anything else but joy, or maybe you were already high from all the people smoking weed around you, either way, you were happy. 

You didn’t want to began feeling overwhelmed, the most exciting thing that happened today, before Yoongi, was finding out that your mom’s boyfriend gave her a teddy bear that sang All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey when you pressed its paw, you could blame —or just thank him— for taking you out of your house. Your heart didn’t feel as heavy as it did at the beginning of the night, but you knew it was time to leave. 

As he waited at the door, you decided to look for your coats. There was a line of people waiting to leave theirs, when you were just trying to leave the place. You expected to get in line, wait a maximum of five minutes and then leave, but right at the end of the line you found, of course, Minnie, because it couldn’t be any other way. 

She was alone, holding two purses and a big puffer jacket that was probably not hers. As soon as you stood behind her, she turned around, clearly she wasn’t expecting to see you again. “Oh, hi again!” She greeted you with the same big white smile you saw earlier tonight. “I had to leave when the movie ended, but I wanted to talk to you, where’s your boyfriend?”

You sighed, not wanting to remember what she said to Yoongi. “He’s not my boyfriend, Minnie.” You said. “He’s just… Yoongi.”

“Just Yoongi, huh?” She raised her eyebrows, pursing her lips. “What are you doing on a date with Just Yoongi?”

“It’s not a date, he just invited me to watch the movie.” You tried to explain, but she wasn’t convinced. 

“Sounds like a date to me.” She giggled, completely ignoring what you said. “I remember when you were like fifteen and cried because he kissed some ugly girl at the New Year’s party, and now you’re on a date!” 

You shook your head, you didn't dare to acknowledge what she said. The memory of that night made you cringe, you remembered running to Minnie and telling everything about it while sobbing like somebody just died. She hugged you and told you that she was sure the girl was super ugly, which wasn’t the truth at all, but it was the version she decided to keep. 

“But it’s not a date.” You reminded her.

“If you say so…” She winked at you, taking a step forward to advance in the line. “But anyway! Weren’t you still in college?” 

Perhapsit was the rush of the dopamine in your body, or the fact that she spoke to you as if not a day had passed since the last time she saw you, but you told her the truth. 

“Well, I’m supposed to be in college.” You said, “But I dropped out recently.” 

“Oh, thank God.” She suddenly let out, almost by accident. You looked at her, amused that she dared to say that. “I mean, don’t get me wrong!” She rushed to say “It’s just, you know, it was about time for you to realize.” 

You smiled, feeling your chest getting warm. When you told people you dropped out of college, most of the time they looked worried, like you made a mistake, but Minnie looked relieved, and that made you feel like it wasn’t such a horrible decision. 

“I know, don’t remind me.” You huffed, looking at your feet. 

“I can't help but do it.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest, thinking “I always thought I was going to see you on a big screen someday, I was disappointed when you left for college.”

How cheesy, you wanted to say, but you couldn’t, not when she was the one who believed in you in ways you never did. 

“Well, I’m out of there now.” You just said. 

“So, if you’re not in college and you’re not doing theater, what are you doing?”

You scoffed, feeling like you just got scolded “Rotting in bed until Christmas, I guess.”

“Okay, I can respect that, but what about after the holidays?” She continued to ask. 

You shrugged, “I have to figure that out yet.”

“So… About what I was telling you before the movie started…”

“Yeah, I mean, about that…” You wanted to interrupt her, but she was quick to cut your sentence.

“Yeah, I know what you’re gonna say, you’re out the theater stuff too, I know.” She said, waving her hands in front of your face so you wouldn’t keep talking. “But I’ve got this friend in the city who’s a director, he is working on this project and is looking for a main character, I don’t know, for some reason it reminded me of you. And now you’re here, so it has to mean something, right?”

You furrowed your eyebrows “Why would it remind you of me?” You inquired. “We haven’t seen each other in years.”

“Crazy, isn’t it?” She laughed, “He pitched to me, it’s some gothic dramatic love story, he wanted to know if I knew of someone.”

Was this some kind of joke? You, realizing that you were never happy in college, coming back home, coming back to the theater where you used to dream to step on a stage someday, or Yoongi telling you all that stuff about not even trying to make your dreams come true, and now this? Something inside you moved, you didn’t know what, but you did know why you were home after all. You told Yoongi about this in your garage the other day, you dropped out of college for a reason, you weren’t built to have a nine to five job, but you also weren’t sure what is what you wanted.

You looked at Minnie like you were sorry to turn down her proposal “Minnie, I haven’t been on a play in years.” You told her, already anticipating the rejection of her offer.

“I know that, but I’ve always trusted your talent, otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about this.” She replied “Look, I’m not asking you to say yes right now, but if you want to know more you can give me your new number.” You kept quiet for a few seconds. Not knowing what to say, you began to nervously laugh, that sounded crazy to you. “C’mon, don’t laugh! If it's of any use, it's a very well paid job.”

Now you began to laugh for real. “What do you mean it's a very well paid job?” You asked, not believing her for one second. Most plays you used to be part of during your high school days never left a dime. 

“It is!” She insisted “You don’t know my friend, he has rich parents, he doesn't do things for the love of art. I mean, he likes theater, but he also likes money.”

Well, that could’ve made you change your mind right away a four years ago, but still, a few hours ago you came to this place counting the seconds to leave, now you were debating if you should accept a job offer. You shook your head, realizing that the line moved far enough, it was Minnie’s turn to leave her coat. 

She took a few seconds and then it was your turn. You quickly asked for Yoongi’s jacket and your coat and when you turned around, Minnie was still there, not willing to give up. 

“What do I have to do to convince you to at least give me your new number?” She pleaded, looking for something in her mini bag. You observed her pulling a lighter and a joint and putting it between her lips to light it up. 

“What are you willing to do?” You joked, or not. 

“What do you have in mind?” Well, she knew you. 

“I have an idea…” You insinuated, pointing at the joint. 

She let out a cloud of smoke out of her mouth, suddenly frowning. “Really?” She said, trying not to sound annoyed, you nodded your head several times, almost excited.  “You can’t be asking for the whole joint.”

“But I am.”

Minnie shook her head in denial. “I can let you smoke it once, I’m not giving it to you.” She offered instead, but you wanted to make it worth it. If you were going to even consider accepting the job, if you were going to even think about something like theater again, you wanted at least something in return. 

“I’m giving you half my number, then.” You said “Try to guess the other half.” 

She narrowed her eyes, hesitating. Your old friend knew that you weren’t joking at all, and for some reason she really wanted you to consider her offer. You knew you won when she rolled her eyes, giving in. “You never stopped being a little bitch, have you?” She hissed, reluctantly handed you the joint. You happily accepted, taking a long drag before it went out. Minnie sighed, sadly watching her perfectly rolled joint in the hands of someone else. “So? Your new number?”

A devilish smirk appeared in your face as you began to walk backwards, taking long steps towards the entrance as you enjoyed the confused expression on Minnie’s face. “I never changed my number.” You confessed. 

Minnie’s mouth hung open in disbelief, but she made sure that the last thing you saw from her that night was her middle finger up, directed towards you. 

It’s been a long time since you outright refused to feel something remotely close to nostalgia, to live evoking memories, to think that a fleeting good moment could make up for all the bad ones, but it was impossible not to. Instead, you were condemned to live wondering what it would be like to come back home someday and not feel this way, to come to The Alley and not feel like you left a part of you there, to look at Yoongi and not feel like you were going to miss him all your life. 

And tonight wasn’t an exception, because when you came back to Yoongi and he offered what seemed to be the warmest smile in the coldest of winters, you knew it might haunt you forever. 

But maybe, just for tonight, you didn’t care. 

“Why are you making that face?” Yoongi asked, raising a brow as he grabbed his jacket from your hands. 

“What face?” You asked back, innocently keeping your hands behind your back.

He opened his mouth to explain what he meant, but then shut it again, staying silent for a minute as he inspected your face. “Did you just… smoke weed?” He laughed, probably already smelling it. 

A smile appeared on your face as you showed him your right hand. Yoongi observed the joint between your thumb and index finger, and wondering where you got that, he tried to take it from your hands. 

You took a step back, moving your arm away from him so he wouldn’t steal it. “What? Is this not legal?” You chuckled.

“Who gave you that?” He asked, grabbing your wrist, but you raised your arm higher. 

“Are you interrogating me?” You kept teasing him, fighting his hold. “I’m sorry Mr. Min, but I’m not a snitch.” 

Yoongi let go of your wrist, quickly giving up. “Are you not sharing?” He asked, a little disappointed. 

“I don’t know.” You pointed your finger at your chin, pretending to think about it “Are you allowed?” 

You walked past him, heading towards the entrance to exit the place. “You’re so annoying.” You heard him say, already knowing he was following you.

Both of you knew that the night was coming to an end, as soon as you stepped foot on the street you could smell the dew on the grass and hear how loud were your footsteps on the empty street. You looked at him through your lashes, observing him lighting up the joint between your lips as with a lighter he found in his pockets. You held the smoke inside your mouth for a few seconds before blowing it on his face, but he just laughed, stealing from your lips. 

You wondered what else you could do to make him stay a bit longer. 

He crossed the desolate street, grabbing your hand to drag you into the poorly illuminated park. It was really cold and you could see your cold breath in the air. Everyone else in the world seemed to agree that it was time to sleep, but you didn’t dare to complain as he decided to take the long way home. 

“How do you know when you’re high?” He curiously asked, eyes locking up with yours as he took another draw. 

It was easy for you to tell, you could get high with only one puff. “I have this thing, I test if my teeth are heavy.” You told him, expecting him to understand right away. 

He laughed, confused. “What do you mean?” 

“Look, if you clench your jaw you can tell that your teeth touch each other.” You explained. Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks, standing in front of you to test it himself. “I know that I’m high when my top teeth are feeling heavy.”

Yoongi snorted, keeping his mouth closed to test it himself. “I don’t know if mine are heavy.” He said “Are yours?”

You already knew you’re high, but you tested it regardless. Closing your mouth, you pressed your teeth together to know “Yes, they are.” You laughed, feeling dizzy. “How do you know?”

It wasn’t the first time you saw Yoongi high, you remembered that time, you were woken up at three in the morning when your brother dragged him into your house after their graduation party because he smoked too much, and Yoongi’s mom couldn’t find out that her son almost died because he didn't know how to use a bong. 

It was the first time that he made Simon look like the responsible friend. Yoongi was seeing shadows before leaving the party and when he arrived at your home was calmer, but still high. He was strangely afraid of going upstairs, so the three of you stayed in the living room watching very low quality episodes of Pinky and The Brain on YouTube. Simon let you stay under the condition of not telling your mom about Yoongi having a bad trip, so you did. The memory of Yoongi laughing at the screen and eating the cake your mom bought to celebrate was still very engraved in your mind.

This version was very different. Yoongi’s hooded eyes were crystallized and there was an awkward smile plastered on his face that wasn’t going away. You could tell he was high in the way he was walking, and especially in the way he was still holding your hand.

The silence lingered in the air for a second. He pressed his lips together, scanning your face. “I know I’m high when it’s hard for me to tell if I’m looking at one thing or the whole picture.” He tried to explain “Like, I can’t focus on more than one thing at once.”

Somehow, you understood. “What are you looking at right now?”

In that moment, Yoongi seemed to be asking himself that very same question in his head, but he already knew the answer. 

 “Your mouth.” He replied innocently.

Someone in the very back of your mind started to wave a big red flag, but on the surface, where an intoxicated version of yourself was laying under the moonlight, you could only laugh. 

“Isn’t it a bit distracting?” You asked him, pulling him forward so he would start walking towards the exit of the park. 

“Yes, very.” he guaranteed “But I don’t mind.”

Yoongi followed you out of the park, and in a team of two you remembered the way to your home. It was like both of your brains had turned off, the conversation didn’t have to mean anything, you didn’t have to wonder why he was there with you at all. 

The clock on your phone said that it was three in the morning, but in your mind time had stopped forever, or at least until next morning. When you turned the corner and reached the end of the street, you knew it was time to say goodbye. But what if you didn’t want to?

You struggled to find your keys, maybe because you were high or maybe because you just didn’t want to remember where the keys were. And when you had to open the door, you leaned against the door frame to say your last words. 

You looked at him with hooded eyes, his pink lips were slightly parted, like they were about to say something but they didn’t. In the haze of the moment you thought it looked just like an invitation to kiss him, but of course you wouldn’t. Of course you couldn’t. 

What you could do, instead, was prevent him from leaving, at least for a while. Was that allowed? You weren’t in your right mind to answer that question. 

You sighed, sleepy, touching the collar of his shirt. “I can’t let you go home like this.” You let out, faster than you could think. 

Yoongi scrunched his nose. “It’s fine, it’s just a few blocks away.” He waved off your concern, but his feet were dug deeply on the wood floor of your porch. 

“It’s not a few blocks away.” You argued “You live like ten blocks away, and you’re still high…”

“I can manage.” He smirked, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear like it was nothing. 

“C’mon, you can stay.” You offered. “My bed is big enough for both of us.”

Your voice came as a whisper, but your words are clearly heard by Yoongi. He scoffed, causing you to start laughing “I didn’t mean that.” You blurted out. trying to correct yourself, but he was already laughing at you. 

“What did you mean?” He was curious. 

You lightly punched his shoulder. “I meant that… You can stay.” You repeated “Besides… There’s still Simon’s old clothes you can wear to sleep.” 

He raised his eyebrows, getting closer to your face, or not, you weren’t sure. 

“What would your mom say?” He mumbled, still in denial. 

“What?” You chuckled “I’ll tell her the truth. I’ll just say you were too drunk to come back home.”

“That’s not the truth.” He said, booping your nose, but you could barely feel the coldness of his touch. 

“Do I really have to tell her that we were high?” You wondered, booping his nose back. 

Yoongi smiled, knowing you were right. “I guess not.” He admitted. 

“So?” You dared to insist.

“I’ll stay…” He said, putting a finger up. “Under one condition…”

“You want me to tuck you in bed?” You said, laughing at your own joke like it was the funniest thing you had ever said. 

Yoongi snorted, covering your mouth with his hand so you wouldn’t keep making loud noises. “No, not that.” He shook his head. “You have to make me breakfast.”

You bit the palm of his hand, making him pull away with a groan. “Is that what your life is worth?” You teased “Breakfast?”

“I’m not gonna die walking ten blocks.”

“What if you enter a bad trip?” You joked “The streets are scary when it’s dark.”

“C’mon, don’t talk about bad trips.” He closed his eyes shut, like he was trying to picture flowers and kittens so he wouldn’t think of something bad. 

“God, Yoongi. Are you staying or not?” 

He sighed, opening his eyes to display his characteristic gummy smile. “Fine Pinky.” He gave in, “Show me how big your bed is.” 

taglist: @kingofbodyrolls @tea4sykes @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @oukya @yoongisoftface @namgihours @honsoolgloss @idkjustlovingbts @loviyunki @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @hopeefulchick @heroinanne @mortal-body-timelesssoul @lizzm98 @hiii-priestess @wii-wii @jungkookies1002 @busanbby-jjk @acquiescence804

[sebuckyverse]

for a good time, call [5]

modern!rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

series summary: Eddie Munson is a burnt out rockstar, touring the country. When he finds a phone number written on a bathroom wall, he strikes an unusual friendship with a coffee shop barista who has no idea who he is.

warnings: 18+ cussing, smut, p in v sex, protected + unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, oral (f! receiving), dirty talk, flirting, self-doubt, mutual pining, angst, strangers to friends to lovers; lmk if i missed anything word count: 8,2k damn

an: the final chapter!! i can't believe it's over, i'm sweating!! MERRY CHRISTMAS BABIES i hope you like it as always, pls let me know. don’t forget to reblog babes! &lt;3 btw we can always do more blurbs and HC's about this fic, i am down for anything! and requests are open as well! mwah! also i wrote half of this on my phone sorry if it's shit

chapter four ♫ masterlist ♫ askbox

chapter five ♫♪♩·.¸¸

A lot of good things happened to Eddie last night. He closed a deal with his future new manager, starting their collaboration early in the new year when he fulfills his current contract and he would be free to leave. He had a long talk with his band when they were alone, finding out that they were also unhappy with the way things had been going on so far. Then there was the show - it was different, good. Eddie was nervous, which he hadn't felt for a long time and he was excited. He loved the show, he was happy again. Simply because he knew you were there, watching him. He wore his best outfit, played his favourite guitar that night, he even added a touch of eyeliner to his look, which is something he used to do in his early days, when he was still performing to the local drunks back home.

But then everything went to shit. They had just come off stage, tired but in high spirits. Eddie's fingers were still tingling from all the playing, a bead of sweat running down his temple as he dropped down to the couch in the middle of the dressing room. He rested his head on the back of the worn out couch and closed his eyes for a minute, just enjoying the moment. His heart was still racing, but it wouldn't calm down now, not when he was anxiously waiting for you. There was a knock on the door, Eddies eyes popped open. It's only been a minute, he didn't expect you so soon.

The door flew open and in walked a girl, but not the one he was looking for. This girl, he knew very well, though he wish he didn't. Madeline. The press had picked up a scent they were dating about a year ago, Eddie didn't have to think too hard about who might have leaked it. Yes, they actually went on a date once, but nothing ever came of it. Eddie had realized his mistake on taking her out half way through the date. She was pretty and very ambitious, but it wasn't hard to see what she was really after. Not Eddie, his heart or soul, but something she deemed more valuable - the immediate popularity she would get once she'd bag him, not to mention the money of course. He remained a gentleman throughout the date but told her in the car later, when he offered to drop her home, that nothing would ever come of this.

Eddie thought it would end there, but every once in a while, she would pop back up. He blocked her number, when she tried to call him. He even banned her from coming to his shows, so the fact that she was here right now, was unpredicted. Her wild eyes quickly meet his uncertain ones and she jumps on the couch, too close for comfort. ''Eddie! Great show, as always. You're such a rockstar.''

Eddie subtly shifted away from her, trying to put distance between them. ''Madeline, what are you doing here?''

''Came to see you, silly,'' she yakked, resting her manicured hand on his knee, unphased when he immediately pulled away.

''Look,'' he sighed. ''I appreciate that and everything, but you need to leave. I'm expecting someone.''

''Oh, who?'' she asked.

''That's not your concern.''

''So it's a girl then,'' she stated, pouting her lips.

Eddie's patience was running thin, he fought the urge to roll his eyes. ''Madeline, for the 100th time - I am not interested in you. You need to accept that.''

''I find that hard to believe, Eddie. Your body is saying something different, it's hot against mine.'' Madeline scooted closer and pressed her body against his, their thighs touching.

''Are you out of your mind? I just did a show.'' Eddie was baffled, Madeline was annoying but she usually took the hint. She was now close enough that he could see her bloodshot eyes up close, then she sniffed. She was high, he realized, probably on something stronger. From his peripheral vision, Eddie could see one of the guys walk to the door, opening it.

''No, Eddie. I've never been more sane.'' She grabbed him by the shoulders and smashed her lipgloss sticky lips onto his with enough force to knock the wind out of him, catching him totally off guard.

It took two seconds for his senses to kick back in and to push her off. He held Madeline by the elbows, keeping her at arm's length. But it was too late. He turned to the door and there you were, looking at him. He didn't have to guess that it was you, he got that same feeling he always got when he talked to you. His tummy tingled, heart swelled, but this time it was tainted with enormous remorse. Your eyes were glossy with unshed tears, lips trembling. When the first tear rolled down your cheek, you turned and disappeared back towards the exit.

Eddie shot up from the couch and chased after you, the door slamming shut behind him. ''Y/N! Wait, please!''

''Don't bother, Eddie,'' you shot back, voice strained and shaking.

''This isn't what it looks like, I swear,'' Eddie pleaded with you, catching up and stopping in front of you. ''Please, let me explain.''

''Move,'' you deadpanned, face vacant of any emotion except for the two dried streaks running down your cheeks. Eddie placed his hands on your upper arms, to stop you from leaving, which you instantly jerked away from, like you'd been burned.

''Please,'' he begged, ''give me a chance to explain everything.''

''Just let me leave, Eddie,'' you wiped your face, arms crossing in front of you. You refused to look at him and he couldn't ignore the stab in his heart.

''Give me five minutes and I will do anything you want,'' Eddie pleaded, dipping his head trying to catch your eyes.

Locking eyes with him, you relented. ''Two minutes.''

''The girl you saw was Madeline, we went out once a year ago and she's been trying to snake her way into my life ever since. I'm not interested her and never was. I don't know how she got in tonight, she's high on something and then she kissed me.''

''Her instagram said you sent her VIP tickets,'' you said.

''That's bullshit. I didn't send her anything but I think I know who did,'' he defended.

You considered his words for a moment, before unlinking your arms and straightening your back. ''Okay, your two minutes is up. Now, you said something about doing anything I wanted?''

''Yeah?'' he asked, sounding a bit hopeful.

''Don't contact me again, Eddie.'' With that, you pushed past him, leaving the arena, taking his heart with him.

.•♫•♬•

Back in your car, you drove the few miles to your apartment instead of going back to your parents' house. You didn't have the strength to face Robin or answer any questions tonight. You dragged yourself up the stairs and pushed inside, locking the door afterwards. You stood in the middle of your living room, gathering your thoughts. The silence seemed extra haunting at this moment, seeping into your bones. You sat on the couch, kicking your boots off. Lifting your legs up, you laid down on your side, pulling a sage green fleece blanket over your shivering form, pulling it up to your chin.

When you closed your eyes, the only thing you saw were their locked lips.

After a pretty sleepless night, you decided to get up when you were awoken by the booming of thunder. You'd kept on the same position the entire night, you groaned when you stretched out on the small couch. You found your purse on the floor and fished out your phone, anticipating the amount of messages or calls from Eddie, but you found nothing. Defeated, you sighed and threw it aimlessly on the cushion next to you. You didn't know why you were disappointed, you specifically told him not to contact you. Still, there was a part of you that hoped he would... what, fight for you? He respected your wishes yet it still stung.

You waited until it was an appropriate time and called Robin to fill her in on the details, telling her you would drive back shortly. She gasped when you told her how you found Eddie in his dressing room, but Cherry was the one who spoke up, indicating Robin put the phone on speaker. ''I knew it was a good choice to bring my pepper spray. That girl needs to be sprayed immediately.''

''Wait, who are you talking about?'' you asked, mouth full of buttery toast.

''Madeline, duh,'' she said matter-of-factly.

''I'm lost,'' Robin chimed in.

''Yeah, me too. Do you know her?'' you asked.

''Not personally, but I've read about her. She's a leech, only interested in being relevant.''

You thought about what Eddie said last night. He didn't invite her and she kissed him. Were you wrong about everything? No, if Madeline was only interested in fame, what would her kissing Eddie in private get her?

''It doesn't matter, I asked him not to contact me anymore and he hasn't. So, it's over.''

.•♫•♬•

Eddie was hunched over the table at breakfast, playing around with some pieces of broccoli. He didn't want to interact with anyone and he certainly didn't want anybody seeing him either, he took a good look in the mirror before and it wasn't pretty. His eyes were sunken, red rimmed from lack of sleep and overthinking. Last night was a fucking disaster. After you stormed out of the place, Eddie walked back to his dressing room, where Madeline was still perched on the couch, chatting with his manager now.

Swallowing down all of the word that were fighting to escape, instead he took a deep breath and asked Madeline to leave, threatening her with a restraining order if she ever contacted him again. It seemed to click for her, finally and she scurried out of the room.

''You sent her the tickets?'' he asked, looking straight at his soon to be former manager.

''Yes, Ed. She's pretty, could have done for some good publicity if you hadn't sent her away,'' he barely looked back at him, typing on his phone.

''You're fired.''

Looking up from his phone, he finally seemed to be alert. ''What?''

''I said, you're fired.'' Eddies fists were clenched, nostrils flared as he tried to keep his composure.

''You can't fire me, buddy, we still have a contract.''

''I'll pay you whatever I owe, with interest, just get fucking lost.''

His manager slipped his phone into his pocket and walked over to him. ''You're making a big mistake, Eddie.''

''I'd say it's the best decision I've ever made.''

''You're gonna regret this,'' his manager pointed a finger at him, stabbing it into his chest. From the corner of his eye, the other guys had joined Eddie's side.

''Doubtful,'' one of them said.

There was a tense stand off, before their manager relented and stormed out of the room, shouting something about lawyers.

Eddie sighed and fell onto the couch. He just fired his manager and they still have some shows to play, he needed to figure out what to do. But that could wait, he had more pressing matters, like how to get you back.

Eddie shook last night's memories from his mind and left the breakfast area, returning to his room. He pulled up the number for Julie, his soon to be new manager and gave her a call. Eddie was relieved when she was happy to hear from him, offering to meet up before the show and to discuss anything he needed, pro bono as she said, since she's not working for him technically, yet. Eddie had to hung up with her when there was a knock on his door. He rushed to open the door, already aware who it was.

There he stood, Wayne Munson himself, Eddie's hero. They embraced each other, Eddie breathing in his uncle's scent of cigarettes and straight black coffee. ''I'm so glad you're here.''

''Me too, kid.'' Wayne let him go and gave him a once over. ''Are you alright? You look like shit, to be blunt.''

Eddie smirked, sadly though. ''Not really.''

They sat down on Eddie's bed and he filled his uncle in on everything that had happened yesterday and prior to that too. He needed Wayne's guidance, who listened carefully and never interrupted until Eddie was finished.

''Wow,'' Wayne sighed. ''Have to say, this is an interesting way to meet someone.''

''Yeah, I... I really like this girl. I fucked up, big time,'' Eddie rubbed his hands together, only concentrating on the carpet beneath their feet.

''Don't be too hard on yourself, son. Both of you were hurt, by someone else's actions.''

''I could've stopped it though, before it even happened. I should have just kicked Madeline out as soon as I saw her. I don't- I don't know why I didn't to that.''

''People pleaser,'' Wayne smirked. ''Look, just give if a few days I say. You'll have time to process everything and think about what you really want. You have to evaluate your life, your career and find out where she fits in. I'm sure she's thinking the same thing. She has her own life and aspirations, if she wants to be with you, she'll have to make difficult choices, too.'' Wayne put a hand on Eddie's shoulder, squeezing it. Eddie looked at him and nodded along.

''So what should I do?''

''Well, if you want romantic advice from an old grump like me,'' Wayne chuckled, ''You should tell her how you feel and see what she thinks. If you let this go, you might regret it for the rest of your life. Take it from me...''

Eddie looked at his uncle, eyebrows raised in disbelief. ''You? I had no idea you-''

Wayne waved him off. ''It was ages ago, kid. Don't make the same mistake I did, is what I'm saying.''

Eddie nodded in response, taking everything in. ''Thank you. You're still coming tonight, right?'

''Wouldn't miss it for the world.''

• • • • • •

Things were looking up. After meeting with Julie, things were looking up. Eddie couldn't break his contract or obligations, but Julie did manage to postpone the rest of the shows so he and the band could have three weeks off to recharge. After the second show, Eddie spent the next day catching up with Wayne, showing him the city. He was sad when his uncle had to fly back, but grateful they had rekindled their relationship, Eddie promised to keep in touch and he had been keeping his promise.

Right now though, he was on his way to get coffee, and something else. He was as incognito as he could get, hoodie pulled over his head, glasses perched up his nose. He hadn't spoken to you for a week and it was like his lifeline was draining. He'd gone by the shop once before, a couple of days ago but instead of going in, he walked straight past when he noticed you were at the counter. Today though, he would walk straight in, whatever happened. And he did, walking up to the empty counter, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

''She's not here,'' a voice called from his right. Eddie turned to see the same girl he already met, Robin, standing with two empty coffee cups. She didn't look pleased to see him, unlike last time.

''I'm actually here to see you.''

''Oh? Why's that?'' she rounded the counter, putting the cups down and leaning on her hands, staring him right in the eyes.

Eddie felt like he was under a spotlight, fidgeting with his ringed fingers. ''I-I need your help. Please.''

''With what?''

''To get Y/N back.''

Robin scoffed. ''What about your girlfriend?''

''I don't have a girlfriend,'' Eddie defended. ''I'd like one, though.''

That made Robin's cold façade falter and she sighed. ''Fine.''

Eddie recoiled, looking around if he was being pranked. ''Really?''

''Yeah, dumbass.'' Robin rolled her eyes. ''She's sad and it's your fault, but-.''

''I know, I know,'' he rushed out, holding his arms out. ''I ruined everything and I'm trying to fix it. But I need your help.''

''Don't interrupt me,'' she scolded and Eddie mumbled a sorry, looking like a kicked puppy. ''Like I was saying, she's sad and it's your fault, but she misses you, I can tell. I'm only doing this for her, not for you. So what do you need?''

''I'm not sure, exactly. Something that would help me get on her good graces again. What are her favorite flowers, for example?''

''Tulips, white ones. How do you plan on delivering these to her anyway?''

''I was hoping you'll tell me where she lives?'' Eddie pleaded.

Robin bit her lip, thinking about it, then groaned into the empty café. ''If I'm going to reveal her address, you're going to have to go all out. I was planning on giving it to her for Christmas, but this will definitely get you on her good side. She has a record player at home, she's been looking for a vinyl of R.E.M.'s 'Out of Time' album, but she hasn't found it yet. I'm sure someone of your.. occupation can get hands on that in no time.'' She also took a piece of paper and wrote down your address and apartment number.

''Thank you!'' Eddie beamed brighter than the sun, turning to leave. ''Whatever you need - I owe you big time.''

''Free entrance for life, Eddie!'' Robin called from behind him.

.•♫•♬•

Tiredly dragging your feet up the stairs, you hauled two grocery bags behind you, plus a tote bag over your shoulder. After an entire day of walking around, your boots felt heavier than usual, your feet sore and back aching. Reaching the final step, you stopped in your tracks when you saw a figure standing in front of your door, sulking in the darkness of the hallway. You relaxed a bit when you saw the outline of long hair. He noticed you too, standing straight where he was leaning on the concrete wall.

''Hi,'' he said quietly. You took a few steps closer and dropped the bags next to your feet, searching for your keys. Pushing the key in, you unlocked your door and stepped in, flicking the light on.

''Hi,'' you turned to look at him, keeping the door open, your heart swooning at the white tulips he was holding, a long with what seems to be a vinyl record. ''Can you grab the bags?''

Eddie managed to get all the bags into your kitchen without dropping anything.

''Thank you,'' you whispered, leaning against the counter, your hands tied together. ''What's that?''

Eddie looked at the things he was holding and handed the flowers first. ''They're for you.''

You took the flowers from him and inhaled the bouquet. You grabbed a vase and filled it with water, popping the flowers into it.

''I also got you this,'' he held out the vinyl and you saw it was the album you had been wanting for a while. You expected Robin to give it to you for Christmas, actually.

''Eddie, I-. How did you know about this?'' You took the record from him, hugging it to your chest.

''Robin told me,'' he smiled bashfully, rubbing his neck.

''Of course she did. I don't know what to say. Thank you, so much.''

There was a brief awkward pause where Eddie didn't know what to do, neither did you. Should he leave? Should you offer him tea or coffee? You kept staring at the floor and Eddie looked at everywhere but you. When the thick silence was stretched long enough, it seemed to shake Eddie out of his trance, he reached his hand out but quickly lowered it again.

''I'm... I'm really sorry for what happened. You were right to get upset. I should have handled things better, but I fucked up. I never meant to hurt you and I'm so, so sorry. I like you, a lot, and I can't stand the fact this might be over before it even started. You're kind, funny and so beautiful it hurts. I know I've already asked you this once, but I'm asking again - please, give me one last chance.''

You looked at him, really looked at him for the first time. His big, stunningly brown eyes, that held so many emotions, you could only pick up a few - fear, sorrow, maybe hope. Perfect nose with a thin gold hoop through the left nostril, plump lips with the sharpest cupid's bow and possibly the greatest head of hair you'd ever seen. His dark brown mane was framing his face, bangs shielding his eyebrows, the soft waves falling onto his shoulders. Black leather jacket with a red flannel underneath, another crisp white shirt peeking out underneath. Simple black jeans and combat boots, three heavy rings on his left hand, one simple ring on the other.

You'd called him pretty before, but he was so much more in real life. He was soft and inviting, but with an edge to him. You felt a pull towards him, you wanted nothing more than to put the record down and jump into his arms. It was hard to look away from his awaiting eyes, so you turned your back to him, placing the vinyl on your kitchen counter.

''Eddie, I forgive you. I understand it wasn't your fault, but I'm not sure if we would work. Romantically speaking...''

''What? Why would you think that?''

You turned to face him again, your throat constricting when you tried to speak. ''I-I just... You're you and I'm me. We live completely different lives. I'm not interested in a long distance relationship.''

''I get it, I've thought about that too,'' he took a step closer ''but we can make it work. I have two weeks off right now and when we finish the rest of the tour, I'm going to take a long break, months long. Shit, maybe even a couple of years. I want to make this work, if you'd let me. I want to take you out on dates, show you the world, see you on the side of the stage when I'm back on it some day.''

Eddie took his hand and gently placed it on your neck, his thumb rubbing the apple of your cheek when you closed your eyes to the touch. ''I'm scared.''

''You don't have to be scared, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to,'' Eddie whispered, you could feel his face leaning closer to you so you opened your eyes, hypnotized by the brown irises staring back at you. His eyes dipped down to your lips for a second, then came back again.

''I don't want you to go,'' you whispered, gripping the edge of the counter behind your back.

''Yeah? What do you want then?'' His nose brushed yours, lips so close you could already feel the warmth of his skin.

''You.''

Eddie's lips finally brushed yours and everything else faded away. It was just the two of you, in the middle of your kitchen, diving into the unknowns. The kiss was feather light, like he was afraid to have more, fearing you would pull away too soon. But you craved more, so you grabbed the back of his neck and drew him closer, earning a soft hum from him. Eddie's other hand found your waist, circling it with new found confidence and holding you close. His lips massaged yours, poking his tongue out to run it over the seam of your mouth. Granting him access, you let out a tiny moan when he happily licked into your mouth.

He whined when you pulled away too soon. ''About that date you mentioned...''

''Yeah?'' he asked, settling his forehead against yours, stealing one more quick kiss.

''I was planning on staying in tonight, just hanging out. W-would you like to stay? I could make dinner and later we could watch a movie, or something.''

''That sounds perfect.''

.•♫•♬•

Eddie helped you put all the groceries away. He'd shrugged off his leather jacket, hanging it by the front door. You'd agreed to have pasta for dinner and once the noodles were boiling on the stove, he watched you wrap a few early Christmas presents, ones that you pulled out of your tote bag. He realized that being with you like this was the easiest thing ever, you settled into small talk easily, Eddie making his way around your kitchen like it was natural. He imagined this could be his reality and he didn't mind that idea, not one bit. He'd strain the pasta once it was done and tell you about his uncle, you'd finish taping up the last present and tell him about a crazy customer you had at the café. It was simple, but perfect.

You handed him plates from a cabinet and he set the small table by your window for two. You set the lighting right and lit a scented candle in the middle of the table. The meal went by slow, you were doing more talking than eating that by the time you were both done, the last bites were ice cold.

''This was great, thank you,'' Eddie offered.

You simply smiled in return and took his hand, bringing him along to the living room area. Plopping down on the couch, you pulled Eddie next to you and settled in comfortably, laying a blanket over your figures. You put on Netflix and handed him the remote, pulling your knees up. Eddie subtly stretched his arm out over the back of the couch, scrolling through various movie options when he felt you lean into him.

''What do you want to watch?'' he smiled to himself.

''Hmmm...'' you thought about it. ''The Grinch?''

''It's November.''

''So? My holiday season starts November 1st!'' you defended, pouting your lips at him.

Eddie snickered and kissed your forehead. ''Okay, okay. The Grinch it is.''

The movie started and you relaxed into his side. While your eyes were glued to the TV screen, Eddie's were wandering around. He wasn't subtle with his gawking either, memorizing all of the features on your face. Your eyes, nose, slightly parted lips, your elongated neck that was begging to be kissed, your perfect chest moving up and down with your steady breathing. He definitely shouldn't be staring, he felt like a creep but he couldn't look away either. He was brought out of his bubble when you shifted a little bit, placing your hand on his thigh.

Eddie focused his eyes back on the movie, praying it will distract him enough not to grow hard just from your simple touch. However, he realized you might not be so innocent in your act as he first thought. Your hand crept upwards, sometimes squeezing. His breath hitched when your pinky grazed his crotch, causing him to involuntarily buck his hips. Taking the same hand that was around your frame, he turned your face towards him, his big hand enveloping nearly the entire side of your face. Without wasting a second, he kissed you, plunging his tongue into your mouth, swallowing your surprised moan. The kiss was sloppy, urgent, you tasted so good it made him dizzy.

''Tell me you want this as much as I do,'' he mumbled, your mouths still atttached.

''Please,'' you begged, discarding the blanket and flinging your leg over his waist, situating yourself on his warm lap. Eddie's hand came around your middle, helping you grind against his growing thickness. You threw your arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. Eddie slid his hands lower, grabbing two handfuls of your ass, leaving your mouth to focus on your neck. He bit your skin, smoothing the ache with his tongue right after. The thought of him marking you up, so you had to wear turtlenecks to work, drove him wild. He mapped out your neck, proud of the already blossoming pink patches, then dipped lower to lick a stripe from your throat down to the valley between your breasts. You gasped when he yanked down the neckline of your tank top and licked the top of your boob, switching to give the other one the same affection.

Eddie grunted in annoyance when your bra stopped him, looking up at you with questioning eyes. Once you nodded in approval, he pulled down the cups of your balconette bra, almost going cross eyed when your supple breast fell out.

''Fucking perfect, baby,'' he groaned and took one of your nipples into his mouth, rolling his tongue around the bud, sucking it harshly before letting it go with a 'pop'.

''Ed, please'' you yanked on his hair to get his attention.

''What do you need? Tell me, honey.''

''Need you, hurry up.''

Eddie smirked and helped you up, pushing your shirt up this time so he could kiss your stomach, dipping his tongue into your bellybutton. His fingers made quick work of your pants, popping the button and dragging the zipper down, ''Okay?''

''Yes,'' you pulled your top over your head and let it drop to the floor. Sneaking your fingers back into his hair, Eddie's eyes rolled to the back of his skull when you scratched your nails across his head. He helped you out of your pants, then ran his hands along your thighs, spreading your legs more. Wrapping his hands around your thighs, his rings were cool against your heated skin when he pulled you closer to him. He pushed his face into your covered mound and inhaled deeply, letting out a satisfied hum.

''Can I?'' he asked, hooking his fingers into your panties, not yet slipping them down until he had your permission. ''Need to see it, baby. Been dreaming of this pussy for so long.''

''Please,'' you pleaded once again, running your fingers along his jawline. He placed a quick kiss on your palm, then dragged down the last piece of fabric separating him from your pussy, the lace sticking to your core. You stepped out of them and Eddie lifted one of your legs, planting your foot on the armrest of the couch, giving him the perfect view of your wet cunt.

“Oh, it’s dripping, sweetheart. This all for me? Not sure I deserve it.” Eddie took his sweet time, kissing your pubic bone and tonguing between your legs, but avoiding your centre completely.

“Please, Eds, stop torturing me.”

“‘m sorry, babe. Just wanted to savor this. Let me make it up to you.”

He finally poked his tongue out, tasting you for the first time. Your hips bucked into his face when he took a tentative lick through your folds, the tip of his tongue flicking your swollen clit. From the first taste of your nectarine, Eddie was addicted. His enthusiasm only increasing, he lapped at your pussy, dipping his wet muscle into your tight hole, feeling it suck him in immediately. Going back for your clit, he closed his mouth around your bud and sucked harshly.

“Fuck, that’s so good,” your head thrown back, you grinded your hips against his face. You felt his hand sneak up your thigh, his fingers circling your opening before pushing his middle finger in all the way until you felt the cool metal against your flesh.

“So fucking good, you’re doing so good for me. This little cunt is sucking me right in, can barely fit. Think you can take two, baby?” Adding his ring finger, Eddie struggled to make it fit. He wondered how his cock would fit if his fingers had difficulty. Eventually, your walls relented and let him fuck up into you. The divine taste of you still present on his tongue, he worked you open with his digits and dove back in to flick your clit up and down in quick motions. He could tell you were getting close, your moans were getting more high pitched, your breathing erratic and your toes were curled. A couple minutes later, you moaned loudly and released all over his tongue which he eagerly lapped up, not letting a single drop go to waste.

He helped you sit back on his lap, your head resting against his shoulder, puffs of air hitting his neck whilst he was rubbing your back. “You good?”

“Good, great, amazing…” you breathlessly replied.

“Was it better than in your book?”

“I mean it was real, so yeah.”

He let you gather yourself for a moment, just holding you, although the erection he had was becoming unbearable. Eddie felt your lips skim his neck, leaving soft butterfly kisses in your wake. You bit down on his earlobe, running your tongue over it to soothe the small ache. Eddie let his head fall back, looking at you through hooded eyelids as you reached behind you to unclasp your bra, letting it fall on the couch.

“This is unfair. I’m completely naked but you’re still dressed,” you pouted and ran your hands along his chest, popping the buttons of his flannel.

“Better help me out then,” he smirked, kneading your ass as you continued to unbutton his shirt, kissing every new inch of skin you revealed. Soon, his shirt was on the floor and you were working on his belt. Once his pants were open, your hand dipped under his boxers to run a finger over his cock, tracing a vein on the underside. He lifted his hips so you could pull his pants and underwear down enough to free his throbbing cock from it’s cage. It bounced up, against his stomach, leaving a sticky mess in his happy trail. Eddie groaned when you wrapped your hand around him, pulling back his foreskin to reveal his slit, pre cum leaking from the tip, which you used as lube. You started to climb down, but Eddie stopped you.

“Not this time, princess. Tonight’s all about you. You got a condom? I didn’t really prepare for this.”

You got up from his lap and jogged to your kitchen, Eddie watching your ass juggle. You opened your medicine drawer and searched around until you retrieved the foil packet. Eddie took it from you, ripping it open with his teeth and rolling it on, all the while keeping eye contact with you as your eyes were focused on his lap.

“C’mere.” He held his hand out for you. You grabbed it and took your place back on his lap, his cock situated perfectly between your folds. He grabbed the base of his cock and rubbed the tip through your lips, gathering the wetness. He positioned the tip at your entrance and waited.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he breathed.

You grabbed his shoulders and sank down on him, inch by inch until there was no space left between you and you had taken all of him.

“Eddie, oh my God,” you moaned, fingernails pressing into his shoulders, leaving behind crescent moon shapes.

“So tight, Jesus Christ.”

Eddie was already seeing stars, he had to focus all of his remaining energy into not coming right this second. Your warm walls enveloped him, pulsing around his shaft. You rose up and slammed back down again, already accustomed to the stretch.

“You’re so perfect, fuck. Taking me so well,” he praised, hands grabbing your waist, helping you bounce on his dick.

You whimpered. “Keep talking.”

“Oh yeah? You love it when I talk like this, baby? That get you all riled up? Look at you, working my cock like that. Feels so fucking good, doesn’t it?”

You nodded and bounced harder, your rhythm faltering. Eddie slouched down lower on the couch, anchoring his feet to the ground and started fucking into you.

“Fuuuck, good girl. Letting me use you like this, like a fucking fleshlight. You’re just a little cock hungry whore, huh? Are you just a hole for me to use however I please? Your pussy is mine now, say it. Who’s pussy is this?”

“I-it’s yours, Eddie, only yours.”

“Damn right. It is mine, I’ll fuck it whenever I want. Stretch your cunt out so good, you’ll beg me to go easy on you. But you don’t want easy, do you? You want it rough. Fuck.”

“Don’t stop, please, please, please,” one of your hands slipped between your legs, toying with your clit.

Eddie grunted at the sight, wrapping both of his hands around your throat, squeezing your neck enough to make you lightheaded. “Yeah, play with that clit, rub it for me. Can still taste you on my tongue, you want to know what you taste like?”

He pulled you in, smashing his lips against yours, his tongue meeting yours in the middle. The kiss was messy, spit drooling from the side of your mouth. Your fingers sped up, your pussy clenching down on him harder and harder. Eddie felt his own stomach twist up as well.

“You close, baby? I need you to cum, fuck. I’m so fucking close.”

“I’m so- Fuck, oh my God Eddie, I’m coming, I’m coming!” You cried out, tears streaming down your face, the drops falling onto Eddie’s forearm. He was close behind, feeling his balls tighten up in a telltale sign. He groaned into your mouth and jerked his hips a few final times before releasing into the condom.

Both of you breathing like you’d just ran a marathon, Eddie let go of your neck, the red and purple skin left behind almost enough to get him hard again. You fell forward on his chest, resting your head against his shoulder, catching your breath. Eddie thrashed his legs around, shoving his boots and pants off. He stood up, taking you with him. You squealed and wrapped your legs around his waist, his cock slipping out of you.

“Bedroom?”

You pointed him in the right direction and he took careful steps, mindful of the clothes laying around. Once in your bedroom, he gently placed you on the bed, kissing your temple. When you didn’t let go, he chuckled.

“Be right back, promise.” He helped you under the covers and disappeared back into the hallway, looking for a bathroom. When he found it, he discarded the condom and washed his hands, eyeing the couple of lovebites you’d left on him. When he made it back to you, you were already asleep. Eddie crawled next to you, pulling you tightly against his front, settling his hand on your waist, lazily drawing random shapes on your tummy until sleep took him, too.

.•♫•♬•

It was raining again, the patter on the windowsill lulling you from your sleep. You were warm and cozy, limbs tangled with someone else’s. You’d almost forgotten about last night, thinking it was a fidget in your imagination. But Eddie proved to be real when he stirred behind you, his deep sigh hitting the back of your neck, one arm hugging you closer to his body. You hummed, reaching behind you to grasp his neck. Memories of last night came flooding back, reminding you of the delicious ache between your legs.

“Morning beautiful,” a low, raspy voice sounded from behind you, goosebumps spreading across your skin. Christ, you could get used to hearing his morning voice every day.

“I don’t remember the last time I slept this good,” you mumbled.

“You need to sleep with me every day, then,” he said, squeezing your hip.

You snorted. “You wish.”

He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, his lips moving against your flesh. “I do.”

You turned to him, his baby cow eyes already staring back at you. You were trying to see any deception in them, but all you saw was adoration and honesty.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you gulped, bottom lip caught between your teeth.

“It means I want you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“How would that work? I can’t follow you around everywhere you go.”

“I know that and I don’t expect you to, even though it would be cool. What I do know, is this - I’m taking a long break and I want to be with you, every single day. After that too, I’m not going to dump you when I have to go on stage again if that’s what you’re worried about. We’ll figure everything out. So if you’d have me, I promise I will work my ass off every day to prove to you that you’re not making a mistake.”

“Eddie… I don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes,” he begged “Be mine. Would you be my girlfriend?”

You laid your hand on top of this, the one still holding your hip. Your heart was beating so fast, you thought it would explode any second. You had a moment to think about all the roads this relantionship could take you, expecting it to end horribly. But even with the potholes and wonky curves, you saw yourself ending up where you belonged - with him.

“Yes.”

His lips covered your before you even finished that word. You felt him smile into the kiss, he was putting everything he had into it. His tongue grazed the seam of your lips, asking for access which you happily granted. He moaned when your tongue met his, his nose ring brushing your nostril.

His fingers skiddled across your hip to the curve of your ass, squeezing your butt. He broke the kiss too soon for your liking and violently pushed you back on your side. Eddie kissed a line down your spine, then licked a fat stripe back up, ending at the base of your neck. Your whole body shivered in anticipation, core getting slick with excitement. Eddie continued his assault, burying his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in deep.

His cock was pressed against your ass, a smudge of liquid dripping down. The hair on his abdomen tickling your lower back. You whimpered when he gripped one of your breasts, circling his thumb over your areola, then pinching your nipple until it was perked up.

''Eddieee...'' you whined, kicking your legs.

''Need somethin', darling?'' he traced the tip of his nose on the shell of your ear, his palm sliding from your breast all the way down, his thick fingers slipping through your dewy folds. Bringing his fingers back up, he circled your clit with his middle finger, barely adding any pressure, chuckling when you bucked your hips to get more friction.

''Need you so bad, please,'' you mewled, grinding your ass against his crotch, getting a hiss out of him.

''Condom?'' he asked, adjusting his hips, so his cock nestled directly between your legs, swaying his hips back and forth, the head of his cock parting your folds, bumping your clit with every stroke.

''My boyfriends don't need to wear one.''

''Fucking Christ,'' he let out a deep groan, lining himself up with your weeping hole and pushing inside, sliding to the brim in a single thrust. You choked on a moan, his cock was so deep, you could feel him in your throat. He stilled for a moment, letting you adjust, his mushroom tip bruising your cervix.

''Move,'' you cried, gripping his forearm that was resting against your belly, his fingers massaging your flesh.

He pulled back all the way and slammed back in, not bothering to be polite. You still weren't 100% adjusted to his size, but the burn mixed with the way his cock pierced your insides was euphoric. It was embarrassing how close you were already, but you blamed it on the early morning, you were always more sensitive in the early hours of the day.

''Feel so fucking good, baby. You like my bare cock fucking you like this? You gonna let me come inside too? Fill your sweet pussy up, have it leak out of your abused cunt all day, huh?''

You were too far gone to reply, the only sounds in the room your moans and Eddie's groans mixed with the wet slapping of skin against skin. Eddie was a talker though, never shutting up about how good you felt, how perfect you were for him.

''You were made for me, this pussy was carved for my dick. You're mine, only mine. Mine to fuck, mine to use, however I want. God, fuck. You're gonna make me come already. You gonna let me fill you up, baby? Shoot my fat load so deep in your pussy, you're gonna fucking taste it.''

''Y-yeah, please... Come inside me, please. Wanna feel it, Eds.''

''Fuck, I'm coming, baby. Come with me, come on.'' His thrusts were faster, sloppier, he was losing his rhythm. You were so close too, but needed the extra push so you gripped his wrist and pushed his hand lower. He caught on immediately, roughly circling your puffy clit with two fingers. It was enough to send you over the edge, both of you losing yourselves to the pleasure, Eddie spurting his cum inside of you, your mixed juices leaking down your thigh.

When you came down, Eddie pecked your cheek. He went to pull out, but you stopped him. ''Just stay, wanna be like this for a minute.''

''Whatever you want, princess. I'm all yours.''

.•♫•♬•

December 25th. One of your favorite days of the year. The ground was white, more snow falling behind the window, illuminated by the streetlamps outside. You were so full of amazing food, a little tipsy on raspberry punch. Christmas celebrations started yesterday, when you and Eddie flew out to Indiana to spend Christmas Eve with his uncle, Wayne. He was as sweet as he was in the stories Eddie had told you, if not more. There wasn't a moment where you weren't smiling, looking at the two of them bickering over Eddie's high school days.

You flew back this morning, where you spent the entire day preparing for Robin and Cherry to come over. Tomorrow you would go to your parents' house, which Eddie was super nervous about. The evening was spent with good food and drinks, smooth Christmas music coming from a portable speaker, great conversation. When the girls finally left, it was close to midnight. Eddie had asked you to dance, now the two of you were swaying to the music in front of your Christmas tree, decorated with ornaments, fake snow and at the very top, instead of a typical star, with a paperclip, was a polaroid selfie of you and Eddie, taken a week ago in front of the same tree.

''In case I haven't told you yet, you look so beautiful tonight.''

Your arms were linked around his neck, Eddie's arms wrapped around your waist. You followed his lead, heads close together, breathing in each other's air. You were wearing a rich purple dress with black stockings, with simple make up accentuated with a pair of earrings Eddie had gifted you this morning. And yes, they were drop earrings with sliced kiwis at the bottom. Where he had even found them, you had no idea, he refused to tell you. You had given him a pack of guitar picks, with his initials engraved on them.

''First of all, only tonight?'' you teased. ''Second, you've told me about fifty times today, but I'm not tired of hearing it yet.''

''Hmm.. Can I tell you something I haven't, yet? Something I've been wanting to say for a while now.''

Your heart skipped several beats, mouth going as dry as cotton balls. You had a feeling of what he wanted to say. You had been thinking the same thing recently, but you hadn't found the right moment to say it. Today, it had been nagging on your mind specially hard. True to his word, you and Eddie had spent nearly every day together, except for that one day where you had the flu and told him to stay away so he wouldn't get sick either. He survived one day until he came banging on your door, begging you to let him in so he could take care of you. He had basically moved in since that first night you spent together. You had made room in your dresser for his clothes, his toothbrush was next to your in the bathroom, the fridge was filled with his favorite drinks. It was fast, clearly, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

''O-okay,'' you gulped.

''I love you, Y/N.'' he breathed out, like a weight leaving his shoulders, but immediately rushed out, ''You don't have to say it back, I just felt like I was about to burst if I didn't tell you. You're so amazing and perfect and gorgeous, I'm so happy you're mine and I'm so in love with you I honestly might die if you don't feel the same, but like I said, no press-''

You cut his rambling off by grabbing his face in your hands and smashing your lips together, tears running down your face. Eddie secured his arms around you and pulled you so close, your feet were hanging in the air. You pulled away, your lipgloss having transferred to his mouth, his eyes sparkling. ''I love you too, Eddie.''

''Yeah?''

''Yeah, so much.''

You squealed and laughed when he lifted you up and spun you around, your hair flowing. He put you down, kissed the top of your head and held you so tight you were struggling to breathe, but you didn't dare tell him that. You felt safe and truly loved, securely caged in his arms, smiling into his dress shirt while you slow danced the night away.

.•♫•♬•

tags: @hellfirewhore @ceriseheaven @feralgoblinbabe @ethereal27cereal @mystars123 @munsonsuccubus @alizztor @tlclick73 @nojamsonmytoast @b-irock @harringtonshairychest @hellkaisersangel @mcueveryday @other-world-s @santheweird @nightless @hiscrimsonangel @ali-r3n @latenighttalkingwithgrapejuice @tayhar811 @sarawithasword @eddiesluvt @maddieluvseddie @hellfires-harlot @dollalicia @donnavivienne @ashlynnkennedy @dumbblonde1630 @sanzu-holic @dontslayfay @eddieswife16 @bebe07011 @ganjababie @sidthedollface2 @brittanyyydamnit @lezzy-bennet @bibliophilewednesday @qcueef @rogers-sweatbands @christalcake @episcogoth @beep-beep-sherlock @milkymil-k @sweet-villain @dragonfire @lokiofasgard616 @eddiethesexy @imperfect0angel @im-julessssss @starrywhitenight @siriuslysmoking @bibieddiesgf @smelikins @mymindsnothereanymore @alana4610 @bxbyvivi @daisydamed @a1ex-ba1ex

@xashleymariexo @bimbobaggins69 @crazy-forrobertsheehan @sweetsweetjellybean @sherrylyn628 @eddieswifeasf @maximizedrhythms @mostmetaleverrr @gaysludge @seventhlevelofhell @chloe-6123 @ick90 @strawberrysodaslut @blagname1092 @kittykaylat1987

[hlficlibrary]

HL Fic Library 🧡 Kid Fics

Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.

🧡 the wonderlands by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci {M, 150k}

"Somewhere between chaos and control — these are the wonderlands."

Harry's daughter, Andy, is signed to Louis' girl band. Her path to success is marked by competition, chaos, and for Harry, a love affair.

🧡 Flour and Chocolate by teaandtumblr {M, 145k}

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

 OR Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.

🧡 Face Your Fears by @sadaveniren {E, 92k}

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

🧡 Just Pretend by @kingsofeverything {E, 90k}

Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn't date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she's spending the weekend with her mom.

Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they're dating to keep their kids happy.

🧡 Standing on the Edge of Forever by EllaO {M, 55k}

“So let me get this straight. You took Mr. Squiggles from the classroom habitat, took him with you on your fieldtrip to the zoo, and released him in the aviary?”

Harry Styles is a single father, just trying to keep his life organized after losing his husband four years earlier. Between his daughter, Liam's hellion twins, and Sophia throwing him into any romantic tangle she can think of, life gets a little crazy. Of course, everything changes the moment Lo and the twins get interested in their school musical, The Wizard of Oz. Because the new director, Louis Tomlinson, is just about the most attractive man that Harry has ever seen.

Featuring adorable Dad Harry, hotshot actor Louis, three sassy kids, a badass Sophia Smith, and a Liam who just wants all their kids to be well behaved.

🧡 A Life That We Share (I Owe It All to You) by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings {M, 50k}

When Harry's son came home from school crying he didn't think things could get any worse. Lucky for them, things were just about to change for the best.

or Harry's son get bullied until Louis' son shows up :)

🧡 Chasing, Searching, Dreaming by @parmahamlarrie {E, 46k}

Everyone is chasing, searching, dreaming of their soulmate.

Harry has known who his soulmate is since he was twenty years old, and ever since, he has been waiting for Louis to be ready for him. The unexpected passing of Louis' mum, and the fact that now he is the guardian of his twin two-year-old little siblings, just means that Harry is going to have to wait a bit longer.

A soulmate AU full of cute kids, house building, therapy, and a lot of dreaming.

🧡 hymns for restless stars by @turnyourankle {E, 37k}

Every Holiday season Louis has his pupils write down their Christmas wishes for class. He's read almost every wish under the sun, but one girl's wish takes him by surprise. It's for her uncle not to be alone anymore. It's not a wild wish by any means, but Louis had no idea that former teen idol Harry Styles was lonely in the first place.

🧡 Bitter Ends Turn Sweet by @allwaswell16 {E, 30k}

It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore.

Or a songfic inspired by the song Chicago

🧡 Love is a Compass by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 {M, 27k}

Louis smiled to himself, knowing what Cameron was hinting at. “Did you want to stay with me in my warm bed?”

Cameron nodded as he slipped his thumb back into mouth, fighting to keep his eyes open now. “Please, Lou.”

“Sure. get some sleep, okay?” Louis hugged him tighter and closed his own eyes, his arms heavy with the weight of the little boy they were wrapped around. Just as Louis was dozing off, his eyes too heavy to keep open anymore, he heard whispered words that shattered his heart into a million more pieces.

“Please don’t go to heaven too, Lou.”

Harry waltzes into Louis’ life when everything seems to be crumbling around him. A dad overnight, grief stricken and learning to be a parent as he goes, Harry helps to bring light, laughter and, of course, baked goods back into their lives.

🧡 Enchanted by @brightgolden {E, 25k}

“My close friends usually call me H,” Harry mumbles suddenly after Louis wraps up his story.

That’s unexpected. “Are you telling me I’m your close friend now?” Louis quips, squinting his eyes at Harry.

OR Where Louis finally meets his neighbour. After a few conversations, he begins to realise he is too weak to resist the charms of the new mother and his six month old daughter.

🧡 Barefoot in Blue Jeans by @indiaalphawhiskey {E, 24k}

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.

🧡 Home for Christmas by @haloeverlasting {G, 22k}

The Shameless Hallmark Movie AU you probably didn't ask for.

Or, the one where Harry didn't think he wanted a family, but with a little Christmas magic (and maybe one Louis Tomlinson) he realizes that he is very, very wrong.

🧡 Took Me by Surprise by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird {M, 20k}

Louis Tomlinson and his best friend Bridget had a daughter when they were very young and he was on the brink of becoming the next MLS star. Until he blew out his knee.

A decade later, he's the head anchor of the American version of Match of the Day and is raising the coolest nine-year-old on the planet, who happens to be obsessed with Harry Styles - popstar, musician, and all-around household name.

🧡 The Baby Whisperer by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom {E, 18k}

Harry’s newborn baby is having trouble sleeping and nothing he does seems to work. Tired and alone and at his wits end, Harry is at a loss until a new neighbour arrives to turn his world upside down.

OR the one where being neighbourly takes on a whole new meaning.

🧡 Fugue by iwillpaintasongforlou / @canonlarry {E, 16k}

Harry falls asleep a 17 year-old who lives in Cheshire and is probably rockstar Louis Tomlinson's biggest fan. He wakes up 24 with a wedding ring on his finger, two kids, and Louis Tomlinson attempting to wake him up with a blow job. The doctor calls it organic retrograde amnesia, says he might never get back the last seven years of his life. The only thing that feels the same is how he feels when Louis touches him, and maybe that's enough to make him fall in love all over again.

🧡 You're A Universe by Jiksa / @jiksax {E, 15k}

Harry doesn’t ever mean to hurt him; Louis doesn’t know how to tell him that it’s the only thing he ever does anymore.

Or, Louis’s a stay-at-home dad in London and Harry’s a business expat in Qatar. Louis doesn’t know how much longer their marriage can survive the distance.

🧡 reckless behaviour by @nouies {E, 13k}

Harry is a retired football player looking for a new opportunity. Louis is the image consultant hired to help him find it.

🧡 It'll Be by @styleandsin {E, 13k}

Louis has always wanted children and he decides he's done waiting for love to come first. However, after adopting a baby girl just days after she's born, he quickly realizes how hard parenting is. Louis hires Harry to be his Nanny, and it all works out great. Until Louis falls in love with him.

🧡 How It Begins (series) by @phdmama {E, 8k}

New town, new job, new school for his daughter. It's a chance to start again for Louis Tomlinson, a clean slate.

Or is it?

[its-vannah]

Rojas | Warren Rojas x Reader

A/N: This is TV storyline, not book storyline.

Warnings: Mentions of drugs and alcohol

Eddie: As much as we'd all like to think that Warren was this laid-back, freespirit, there's a part of him that had been broken and taped back together so many times that he never really showed anybody. He just hid it with drugs.

Graham: It really hurt him when Y/N stayed back.

Warren: God, I haven't heard that name in years. Y/N? Y/N L/N? 28 Birchwood avenue, Pittsburg, Pennsylvania? Yeah, I remember her.

Graham: He was infatuated with her.

Eddie: He meant everything to her.

Warren: She meant a lot to me. I mean, of course she did, I almost married her.

Camila: Warren made me stand in the bushes by his house with a camcorder in my hand so I could get the proposal on tape. It turned out good, except for the part when he forgot I was there and started making out with her.

Warren: I picked out a ring and everything. The band didn't know this, but I worked odd jobs on the side. One week I was cleaning someone's gutters and the next I was mowing a lawn, another I was dog sitting. It took me months to save up for a decent ring.

Y/N L/N: Of course I remember Warren. He was the first man I ever loved. I still love him.

Warren: She came to every gig we ever played. Every single one. That is, until we left for LA. I asked her to come with me, but she was still in school.

Graham: We were so proud of her for getting into college. We still are, honestly. Look, I'm happy that I pursued music. Nothing will ever change that. But there's something about going to college that just... I don't know, it sounds right.

Warren: She said she'd meet up with me after she graduated. That was another three years away. But I was willing to wait, and so was she. I promised to call every day and visit when I could.

Y/N: Warren knew how to say all of the right things. And it's not like he was lying, he believed what he was saying. He just didn't always follow through, even if he intended to.

Warren: I called her at the same time every day. Four o'clock. Before we had a gig and after she had school.

Y/N: Everything was fine at first. Then he started going a day or two without calling. That was okay, I knew he was busy. But those days turned into four, then six, then a week. The longest it went was two, three weeks without a single call.

Eddie: I answered the phone one time. She called at the same time every day, so I knew who it was. Warren was on his ass, high and drunk. He couldn't make it to the phone.

Y/N: I asked Eddie to tell Warren to call me when he got the chance. That I needed to talk to him.

Warren: I did call the next day, with a bad hangover. I had a lot of explaining to do.

Y/N: I was not happy when I found out how he had been spending his time.

Warren: She wasn't happy when she found out I was getting high and drinking myself to sleep every night.

Y/N: Drugs, alcohol, you name it, he probably did it or tried it. He knew better than to get into another woman's pants. I would've come up there myself.

Warren: Never cheated though. Point for Warren, I never stooped that low.

Y/N: I told him to get his shit together. Just because two people are apart doesn't mean they can make reckless decisions.

Warren: I thought she hated me. I felt like shit. She was the love of my life.

Y/N: I told him that if he didn't watch it, he'd lose himself, the band, and me.

Warren: I cut back on everything after that. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed weed. I just did it in moderation. Same with the beer.

Y/N: I was proud of him.

Warren: I finally got to see her again when we started going on tour.

Y/N: He got to see me and a positive pregnancy test.

Warren: Turns out, we weren't as careful as we thought.

Y/N: You would've thought he had won the lottery when I told him.

Warren: Warren Rojas Jr...

Y/N: I chose the name. And it was a girl.

Warren: Emilia Warren Rojas...

Y/N: Emilia Lynn Rojas. Everyone called her Em, except for Graham, Eddie, and Warren. Graham and Eddie called her Emi, and Warren called her Warren. My dumbass of a fiance.

Warren: We went everywhere together. The store, backstage, front row of concerts, up the stairs to Y/N's house. She was my little best friend.

Y/N: It was love at first sight. But by the time I moved to LA, the band had split up.

Warren: I missed the music, but I spent my time on boats. It's where I was happy. With my wife and my daughter.

Y/N: We did get married, eventually. I just kept my last name for business reasons, and for privacy. But I guess that's all out the window now. Marry a hall of Fame inductee and your privacy is a window. You have none.

Warren: Warren Jr loved being the center of attention.

Y/N: Em was her father's daughter, she still is. Took up the drums. Back in the day, it wasn't common to see a woman on the drums. They usually stuck to vocals or the keyboard, sometimes the guitar. But not our Em.

Warren: Our son was born a few years later.

Y/N: I was high on pain killers when Warren named our son Theodore Graham. I had agreed to the names separately, not together. Because I knew what was going to happen.

Warren: My little Teddy Graham. She liked the names, just hated the fact that everyone called him the nickname I picked out. Said it reminded her of the cracker. That was the point, though.

Y/N: "C'mon, hot stuff, I want to honor my friends legacies" my ass. It was for that damn nickname.

Warren: She loves it, she just doesn't admit it.

Y/N: Horrible taste in names, but he's all mine.

Warren: Teddy Graham wound up being just like his mama.

Y/N: He likes to try and make me feel better by saying that Teddy is just like me. But I'm an honest person. Both of them are their father made over. It made vacations fun.

Warren: I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Y/N: He's a good husband, always has been. He's an even better dad.

Theodore "Teddy Graham" Rojas, son of Warren and Y/N Rojas: My parents made me into who I am today. My mom definitely did the disciplining and made sure we stayed in school, while dad was letting us sneak into the kitchen at two in the morning to make cookies.

Y/N: I knew everything they did. Playing guitar at midnight when I was in bed on a school night, baking at two, eating junk while I was away on business trips. I just let it slide. They were kids, they deserved to have fun and let loose. It just blows my mind to think I have one out of the house and another a year away from graduating high school.

Emilia Rojas, daughter of Warren and Y/N Rojas and lead drummer of Shortcircut: I was a daddy's girl growing up, still am. But the older I get, the more I appreciate my mom. I've always loved her, but being in her shoes today, I'm unbelievably grateful for her. We talk almost every day now.

Y/N: I'm proud of Warren and the kids. They pushed the limits. I realize they that were privileged to have a father who was in the industry, but they really did this all on their own. We got them lessons, they put themselves out there. Em is touring right now, and Teddy is at home playing his heart out. I'm telling you, just like their father.

Warren: Em and Teddy both have that fire in them like their mother, something I don't think she realizes. They're a lot more like her than she knows.

Y/N: Oh, to be with a Rojas.

Warren: I'll be kissing the ground she walks on for as long as I live—I'm never letting that one go.

[midnightloversmusic]

oh my gosh hi!!!! my brain has been fermenting like two zillion & a half poly marauders ideas SO I HOPE YOU DONT MIND me dumping them here (incase theyre of any interest)

the whole band thing w the marauders except reader too oh my gosh.

or anything with kids, id die.

introductions to the muggle world???? especially sirius & james.

ANYWAYS lavalavayouu

STOP I LITERALLY JUST SAW A TIKTOK W/ THIS DAD PLAYING A SONG ON GUITAR TO HIS DAUGHTER AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF JAMES THIS IS SO PERFECT!! I am also about to go to sleep so please don’t yell at me if this is all over the place. love youuuu thank you for requesting!

masterlist

band!poly marauders x gn reader

After your daughter was born you and your boys decided it would be best to take a break from touring and creating albums for a year to spend as much time as possible with your little girl. During that time none of you completely stopped writing and playing music, but you were prioritizing family time.

Now that your daughter turned one just over a month ago you decided it’s time to start working on a new album. You planned to bring up the idea to them after your daughter went to bed. You all took turns putting her to sleep and tonight it happened to be remus’ turn.

You were sitting on the couch in the family room braiding sirius’ hair as he sat on the floor in front of you, telling you about a new concept for a song he came up with that he just can’t seem to find the words for. He’s been begging you to do a french braid in his hair because he can figure out how to do one plus, you think to yourself, he really likes having his hair played with. Knowing this you take extra time to run your hands through his hair and scratch a little at his scalp.

James is in the kitchen attempting to make hot chocolate while also dancing to Christmas songs playing in the background. From your spot on the couch you are able to see the exact moment he tried to spin while holding cocoa mix and ended up spilling it all over himself and on the floor. You snort.

Remus finally emerges from your daughter bedroom and takes a spot next to you on the couch.

“Hi, love”

He says softly planting a soft kiss on your forehead and leaning down to give Sirius’ shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

When you look up from your loving stare at your boyfriends you are met with the sight of James clumsily trying to carry four mugs of hot chocolate over to you, Remus, and Sirius.

When everyone finally settles down and you all fall into a comfortable silence you decide to ask about the album.

“Hey, we said we’d wait a year to do anything music related and it’s been just over one. I was wondering if you all are ready to make a new album? I know the fans are supportive of us taking a year off for our daughter but i can tell they are anxious for a new album and I think it’s time, you know?”

You end with a questioning tone, while waiting for their answers you fiddle with the end of the braid you finished in Sirius’ hair.

“You know i’m more than ready babe, you just listened to me rant about a song idea for ten minutes straight!”

Sirius says enthusiastically from his spot on the floor, smiling up at you.

James nods in agreement.

“I’ve missed making music, i’ve been coming up with some really promising things on the drums lately. I think it’s a great idea to start back up!”

You smile at him, happy that both James and Sirius were thinking the same thing as you. Remus looks hesitant though,

“I think it’s a great idea, and i’ve been anxious to get back to the studio but I just want to make sure we aren’t jumping into this too quick. We have to pace ourselves and really go slower this time around. I want to make time for our daughter and I want her to be a part of the process.”

Remus says.

“Well obviously Moony! We wouldn’t dream of making an album without her, she’s our muse for crying out loud!”

Sirius exclaims, turning his body to completely face remus and give him a humorously exasperated look.

“So it’s settled then?” James questioned from the floor.

“time to make a new album” you say as a smile takes over your face.

[riaarivic]

HIS - KNJ x F!reader: 1 Into you

💗Pairings idol!NamjoonxReader

💗 Genres idol!AU, Smut, Angst, Romance, Enemies to lovers

💗 Rating 18+ minors DNI

💗 Summary  Four years have passed since the last time you saw Kim Namjoon. But now he was right in front of you, with the same stupid warm smile that made your good judgment (and underwear) disappear without a trace. You haven't seen him for four years. But now here you were working for BTS again. Having to see his insufferably attractive face every day of your life again.

But there's something Namjoon doesn't know. The little girl with almond eyes and dimples in her smile clinging to his ex-girlfriend's hip, not only looked too much like him. But she was… His.

💗  Warnings for the series: Unplanned pregnancy (I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT) Unprotected sex, foul language, angst, miscommunications, pinning, SO MUCH PINNING, Hurt/comfort. Will update as the series progress. 💗  Warnings for the chapter: reader has very conflictive emotions about the news of her pregnancy at the begining. This chapter will have some back and forth time skips

💗 A/N: ⚠️ dialogue in BOLD is intended to be in English if not, they are speaking in Korean. ⚠️

Love, Ria

💗 Chapter wordcount 3,4k

💗 Series Index 1 2

His 01: Into you

"And baby even on our worst nights. I'm into you" Into you - Paramore.

💗💗💗MARCH 2022💗💗💗

You have to admit, you've been glued to your computer screen for a solid twenty minutes, utterly motionless.

Hyung-Joon, once your boss and now your business partner, just forwarded an email confirming your company's involvement in BTS's upcoming Permission to Dance on Stage tour. The whole team was buzzing with excitement about the colossal job ahead.

It would be the biggest job in your company.

It really was the opportunity of a lifetime, the pay was enough to take Hana on a Disney cruise vacation.

For a whole year.

Three years in a row.

Heck, you could buy the damn boat.

That's how good it would be.

You should be basking in the joy of this achievement.

Yet, the smallest detail casts a shadow over the happiness—precisely, the leader of the band. The young, talented, millionaire, successful, infuriating asshole Kim Namjoon is your daughter's father.

For the tiniest detail, it must be emphasized that he had no intention of being a part of her life.

Fuck him.

He couldn't even summon the decency to meet your gaze when he sent his mother and manager to deliver an envelope full of money, effectively kicking you and your daughter out of Korea.

The memory of it turned your stomach.

💗💗💗JANUARY 2017💗💗💗

An alien.

That's how all the people saw you when you entered Big Hit as if you came from another planet entirely. An alien who spoke their language perfectly, who had not come as part of a tourist excursion, but to work.

They all regarded you as if you had a second head protruding from your back. The security, while registering your information for your access card; the staff, makeup artists, hair stylists—all whispered things as you walked by.

What the hell were you getting yourself into?

The chance of a lifetime, you reminded yourself. The pay might not be extravagant, but the perks of being part of a K-pop group's staff more than compensated for it.

You were going to travel all over the world, meet new people, eat delicious things and most of all… be as far away geographically as possible from where you came from.

This is the opportunity of a lifetime

After navigating several security checkpoints and maneuvering through what felt like a maze of boxes filled with the group's merchandise, materials, and clothing, you reached the office where they awaited you.

The global press department.

Though the term "department" sounded too grand for the small space—more like a converted broom closet with your boss's desk and yours side by side.

"Oh! Miss… um," you smiled as you saw him struggling with the pronunciation of your full name.

"Call me y/n. You must be Manager Hyung-Joon," the man let out a sigh of relief. Despite his imposing stature, dominating the tiny office, a friendly smile adorned his face.

"Miss y/n, you're just in time. They are about to finish a rehearsal, and we are going to start the first practice interviews for the US tour. Did you bring everything you need?" You nodded, and he motioned for you to follow him.

Probably, nothing you had read about this group could prepare you for what lay ahead. As Manager Hyung-Joon swung open the door, the first thing that struck you was the noise.

That room was pure Chaos.

What you'd expect if you left seven practically teenage men to their own devices. They chatted and laughed, appearing at first glance like a bunch of ordinary kids.

Not like the young men who would become the biggest musical act in history.

"Bangtan, can you please be quiet?" the manager shouted, capturing everyone's attention. "This is y/n; she will be your translator from now on." All seven pairs of eyes turned to you simultaneously, and once again, there it was.

That look that made you feel utterly out of place.

According to what you'd been told, it wasn't common for the company to hire young, let alone single, women to work with BTS. Yet, you excelled at your job, armed with a glowing recommendation letter from one of your college professors.

Fast and precise with translations, you also brought experience as a journalist before accepting this position.

And that you accepted the joke of a salary they offered.

The company deemed you useful enough to overlook the fact that you would be the only woman among these men most of the time.

But your integration into the staff didn't happen before their main manager warned them that any attempt at inappropriate behavior towards you would result in drastic consequences.

Not to mention the uncomfortably awkward conversation you had in the president's office, where terms like contraceptives, confidentiality agreements, and the ominous "If you have any kind of relationship with one of the members, we will sue you for everything you have" echoed.

Though you were sure the suitcase you brought to Korea wouldn't be much help to a music company at the time.

The message was clear:

Mess with one of them.

You're out.

It's not like you were interested in a workplace romance; true, they were all attractive, but you needed this job more than anything else in the world.

At that time, Bangtan was gearing up for their promotions in the United States, and they required someone to assist them in English communication.

So they wouldn't be overly dependent on him.

"Do you even speak Korean?" that was the very first words he spoke to you. He wore an expression somewhere between puzzled and annoyed for a moment before turning to speak to Hyung-Joon as if you weren't there. "Are you sure she's not a stalker?"

"I'm a communications major from Busan National University. I also speak Japanese, French, Spanish, and Portuguese. But my first language is English. I suppose that answers your question," you retorted, meeting his gaze challengingly, and he rolled his eyes as if your response bored him.

At the far end of the room, you heard an amused snort; you recognized him from the dossier—his name was Suga.

"Did that lady just shut up Namjoon-hyung?" the youngest among them stared at you as if you were a unicorn, a mythical creature, the weirdest thing he has ever seen, and the older one nudged him to stop staring.

"Nice to meet you all; my name is y/n. I will be your translator, and I hope you can take care of me." You bowed, and when you straightened, you smiled at everyone. He kept his stare locked at you, irritated and unimpressed by your initial response.

That was the beginning of it all.

💗💗💗DECEMBER 2018💗💗💗

Fool.

A complete fool is how you felt, your heart pounding in your chest as you found yourself on your bathroom floor holding a positive pregnancy test. Four years ago, your heart held a different kind of weight, the weight of a secret growing within you.

Two weeks after he had returned to Seoul.

Exactly two weeks after you had told him to get the fuck out of your life.

No. That's not true.

You know better now. He was already gone before you found the strength to let him go. You just hadn't realized it.

So, here you were sitting on your bathroom floor. The weight of your shared history hanging heavily between you. Looking at the abstract pattern on the tiles feeling like a complete idiot.

Feeling guilty for a child who will grow up without a father.

Because...

You thought you were strong enough to handle it. You believed you could navigate motherhood alone, but...

Should you tell him?

Would it be too selfish to unveil this reality now?

How could you shatter his world, now that his career soared to unprecedented heights?

And the company…

You knew The company would go to great lengths to erase you and this secret from existence if necessary..

Kim Namjoon the leader of BTS.

Korea's pride.

Fathering an unplanned child out of wedlock with a foreigner?

It could dismantle everything he had worked for.

And his group. It will destroy them and he will never forgive you for it.

Besides, did you even have the right to reenter his life?

After what you have said to him? After the wounds you carved upon each other?

You wanted to cry, but the tears remained trapped within your eyes.

Kim Namjoon, the man known as RM, the leader of BTS, was your adversary, your lover, the man who once held your heart, and the one who shattered it into irreparable pieces—

All within a year.

💗💗💗NOVEMBER 2019💗💗💗

This is a terrible idea

It took you too long to work up the courage to tell him that you had had a daughter. But you couldn't tell him by phone call or mail.

You mustered all the courage you had and took a plane from Los Angeles to Korea. You definitely did not imagine how extremely difficult 16 hours on a flight with a one year old baby would be.

You had to bribe Jungkook with buying him 10 cartons of banana milk to get his new number.

Calling him was much harder.

"Hello?" His voice, after a year, stirred emotions you believed buried deep within.

You had no idea what to say.

Hi Namjoon, remember me? I'm y/n, your ex-girlfriend, ex-enemy, ex-translator? Oh, by the way, we have a daughter. I'm in Korea. Sorry for not telling you earlier; I panicked, thinking the company might erase us if they found out. Congratulations on the new album.

Definitely not that.

"Hey, Joonie," you blurted, and somehow felt like worse alternative, "I'm in Korea, and I'd like to talk…"

"Yes," he interrupted, his voice as desperate as yours, "I'm sending a driver for you. Where are you staying?"

Two hours later, a black company van awaited you in front of your hotel. It transported you to a far more luxurious apartment complex than their previous dormitory.

They are doing so well.

That made you proud, they deserved every drop of success they had.

But he wasn't in the apartment.

Waiting for you in the living room was a face you'd only seen once—Namjoon's mother, Mrs. Kim Seolmi. Accompanied by bodyguards and a staff member, her gaze held the same mix of disappointment and anger as the first meeting. Her eyes shifted sourly when they landed on Hana, in your arms.

Hana was the vivid image of her father, every feature, dimples, almond eyes, pouty lips, and even her expressions. Seeing Namjoon in her.

It took Mrs. Kim mere seconds to deduce the baby in your arms was her granddaughter.

"He doesn't want to see you, neither you nor the bastard child you're carrying. Did you think you could pass off just anyone's daughter as my son's?" She pulled an envelope from her bag. You knew it contained money. "Take it and leave. A gold-digger like you, using men for money. How disgusting."

"Madam, I don't need your money. If Namjoon doesn't want to see me, he should tell me himself." You clutched your crying daughter, scared by the woman's shouts.

From a corridor emerged Sejin, BangTan's main manager. He always knew everything about them. And his presence here meant The company was already aware that Namjoon had a daughter.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, Miss y/n, but it's true. He asked us to give this to you," Sejin handed you a sealed letter with your name on it, "and this you must sign. It's the only way to prevent the company from taking legal action against you for involving yourself with a member."

"Ha! As if the half-breed was really my Namjoon's daughter."

Oh you were going to kill that woman.

Before you could unleash your thoughts, Sejin spoke again. "y/n, you know what it means to be in a relationship with an idol, let alone having a daughter out of wedlock. This could destroy him and Bangtan. I'm sure you don't want that." His voice carried pity.

"You don't want to go trough this, and we know you don't want to put your daughter through it." He took a breath and sat in front of you. "The company is willing to compensate you for your silence. It's your only option—"

"I don't want your fucking money, Sejin"

"Miss, if you go against the company, we'll have to fight in court, and you could lose custody of your daughter. I'm sorry, but it's true. He didn't want to come when he found out you were coming with your child."

He didn't want to come

When he found out

That you were coming with a child.

Your child.

That phrase echoed in your mind for years. You could still close your eyes and see Sejin's pitiful face—the same one he wore when informing an employee they could no longer work for them.

Because they spoke a second too long with one of them.

Because they smiled at them a little too much.

Because feelings started to emerge.

All were fired and forced to sign mountains of legal documents preventing them from ever speaking about what transpired.

Some were even offered positions at other agencies.

"You're fortunate Bang PDnim decided to compensate you. But it's your decision," he concluded.

Three hours later, you were repacking to return to Los Angeles, vowing never to set foot in Seoul again.

This should never have happened.

As you wiped away tears, your phone buzzed with several notifications.

Message from unknown number: Doll, it's Yoongi. Jungkook told me you were here and you were staying at a hotel in Myeongdon. Message from unknown number: I'm coming to see you.

Message from Cookie 🍪: Y/n Noona, Yoongi Hyung asked me to give him your number. Thanks for the banana milk, you should stop by the dorm and let's drink soju like old times!!!!

Message from NJ: I am so sorry. I hope you can understand.

The last message made you want to throw up.

The phone started vibrating with an incoming call…..

💗💗💗MARCH 2022💗💗💗

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Hyun-Joon regarded you with the same concerned eyes he had five years ago when you first met. He had transitioned from being your boss to your business partner and, eventually, one of your dearest friends. A few months after your departure from Korea, he called to share the news of starting their own management agency with a friend.

The startup funds came from the envelope Sejin handed you as compensation for never disclosing the identity of your daughter's father.

At least something good came from shattering your heart into a thousand pieces.

Today, you were the CEO of a flourishing company offering diverse services to music companies in Korea—translators, managers, staff, security; you had it all, and your agency ranked as the best in the market.

It was only a matter of time before you appeared on HYBE's radar.

It was only a matter of time before you found yourself back in the same room as him.

"Of course, this is the best contract the agency has had since we started. We are professionals, and your CEO is no exception," you reassured yourself more than Hyun-Joon.

He scrutinized you, trying to believe your conviction. "Well, let's get ready; they are about to come in."

The sight before you differed vastly from the first time you saw them in the modest conference room at what was then Big Hit. Through the glass door leading to your meeting room, the bodyguards entered first, followed by the new individual managers.

You knew much had changed since your last encounter. Initially, it was just you and a handful of staff members.

Now, it felt as if the President of the United States or Beyoncé were about to make an entrance.

Scratch that, the president's secret service probably had fewer people.

The room was nearly full, yet they hadn't arrived.

Jungkook walked in first. The last time you saw him, he still wore his school uniform. Now, he appeared as if he had stepped out of a novel, exuding a bad-boy aura with tattoos and all-black attire.

Behind him, Taehyung, the shy boy with the innocent smile, wore a designer suit, exuding timeless elegance like the protagonist of an old Hollywood film. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of him.

Jimin seemed unchanged yet transformed simultaneously—beautiful, elegant, with a hint of mischief in his eyes. When he saw you, he smiled discreetly, as if holding back many unspoken words.

Following him, J-Hope entered. His off-stage personality always intimidated you, yet he remained the kindest and most focused among them. That hadn't changed.

Yoongi walked in behind him, smiling genuinely upon seeing you. Among all of them, he was the only one you still maintained contact with. Nonetheless, seeing him in person brought a sense of relief.

Jin came in almost last, and you couldn't help but be amused. Despite not having seen him in person for four years, he hadn't aged a day. Serene as ever, he entered with a respectful bow.

A chill ran down your spine.

They entered in the official order.

From youngest to oldest.

And last.

Him.

Kim Namjoon, always entering last, responsible for introducing them all. Front and center, as always. His now-blond hair caught your attention first. Even beneath his clothes, you could see that he had grown. His arms filled his shirt just like his chest and legs.

Your mind instinctively wandered into territory you almost slapped yourself for entertaining.

You looked up, and he was looking at you. Whether he was surprised or not, his face revealed nothing. With almost a decade in the business, Kim Namjoon knew how to conceal his emotions.

Assuming he had any.

He obviously doesn't care to see you. And who were you to him?—just some woman he was fucking four years ago.

Just

The mother of his daughter.

Your ears buzzed, and you were so deeply lost in your thoughts that you didn't notice when he began talking.

"...it's a pleasure for us to work again with you and your agency," that damn voice, it could still stir emotions in you. "Miss Y/LN, it's also nice to see you again."

Oh, is he going to call you by your last name?

"It's Lee now," your voice sounded cooler than you thought it would, perfect.

"Congratulations, in that case," he stiffened his jaw, and you smiled at him. Simultaneously, several people in the room tensed up.

Ah yes, that was another detail Kim Namjoon obviously didn't know about you.

Eric Lee was your other business partner and your best friend. You had married three years ago so that he could obtain a visa and stay in the US with you.

Eric gave his last name to Hana and had practically raised her with you.

And also.

Eric was completely, totally, and utterly gay.

Your marriage was only on paper.

But that was a detail you weren't going to explain to Kim Namjoon.

By the way… where the hell was he?

Namjoon cleared his throat, snapping you out of your thoughts. "In that case, I think we can start—"

"Mommy!" a little voice interrupted, entering the room. With so many people there, you could only see the top of her dark brown hair. "Uncle said to play hide and seek; can I hide with you?"

Almond eyes.

Dimples in the smile.

The same pouty lips.

Kim Namjoon who was almost 10 years in the industry and knew perfectly well how to hide his emotions, but he looked at the little girl in front of him as if he had just seen an alien.

His face showed a thousand questions.

How old was that little girl?

Why did she have the same eyes as him?

Why had she called you mom?

Did you have a daughter?

The whole room tensed up.

Oh shit, I knew this was a bad idea.

But things happened so fast.

For the first time in her life, Kim Namjoon looked at his daughter's face.

And you were looking at the consecuence of what once was a stolen kiss behind a closed door.

And then evolved to so much more.

A snarky remark.

An irritated snort after others spoke.

A heated argument in a press room.

A few stolen kisses behind the staff room door.

A night in a hotel room.

And despite your reluctance to admit it,

Despite everything.

You would always be

His.

💗💗💗💗💗💗

I KNOOOOOWWWW! Another fic and I haven't finished translating/editing/rewriting/posting Hate!. But Yes, I had to, I had a writers block and decided to pull this one out of the vault of prompts.

Pregnancy troupe? while I'm writing a dark mafia romance? I KNOW But hear me out with this one, it is A RIDE.

I REALLY wanted to write a short agnsty BUT filled with heart clenching romance and.. other things clenching smuttines.

Yes, I'll continue updating Hate! but i would love you a bit if you give this baby a chance... literal baby. AND KIM NAMJOON AS A GIRL DAD!!?? IM NOT GOING TO DEPRIVE MYSELF OF THAT

Ps. If you want to be on the tag list drop a comment below!! 👩🏼‍💻✨

As always love you guys,

Ria 💗

[seresinhangmanjake]

Birthday Boy

Dad!Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female reader

Summary: It’s Jake’s birthday and you have a very special gift for him.

Warnings: this is just a mega fluff monster (i think, anyway). Jake’s all happy being a dad and being in love with his lady and everything. Maybe cursing. Didn’t double check. Allusion to eventual smut that is not in this fic. Just to be safe:18+

Notes: can be read alone, but contributes to the Oh, Baby world as well. 

Words: 2422

Oh, Baby Masterlist

Masterlist

*turn on notifications for this blog or @seresinhangmanjake-library if you would like to keep up with my writing*

------

Thirty-four. The number was speckled throughout his house. It was strung together as part of a lengthy banner that was taped to his wall; scribbled in green icing across the center of the vanilla cake you’d baked him with an equal number of rainbow-colored candles sticking out the top; and in the form of two massive shiny, floating balloons in the corner of the living room—Rooster’s addition to the decor, supposedly meant to tease Jake but were obviously brought for your daughter, Eve’s, amusement. And the little girl loved them, immediately crawling across the carpet to stare up at the mirror-like mylar that reflected her fascinated face. 

Jake had joked two weeks prior that he was getting old, so you’d taken it upon yourself to plan a party that reminded him of his younger days…his very young days. You’d gone all out, including everything for a kiddie party but the clowns and ponies. 

Initially, you weren’t sure how he’d take the surprise—he could see the worry in your twisted features when you observed his wide eyes and gaping mouth—but Jake only grabbed you around the waist and kissed you until everyone grew bored of watching a couple so lost in themselves. No one had ever quite done anything like this for him before. He’d had birthday parties, sure, plenty as a child, but not a single one after his mid-twenties, and never thrown by a woman he loved.

You’d still kept it small. Inviting your shared friends, a few other pilot buddies, Penny and Mav and a couple of the Hard Deck bartenders—one of whom was the pretty blonde Rooster had yet to completely get over despite the year that had passed since first meeting her. Clearly you knew something the rest of them didn’t when it came to the woman because you spent a good bit of time trying to push her and Rooster together. And if Jake could tell by the occasional glances he shot the two, it looked like some progress had been made. Good, Jake thought. He wanted his friends to have what he had.

By far, it was the best party he’d been to, fully surpassing the unknown number of wild nights he'd dedicated to getting hammered in college. Jake liked the intimacy of it all, even more so after it had died down and most guests returned to their own homes, leaving just you and his team remaining.

“Well,” Rooster began after taking a sip of the beer that you’d made sure to pour into a polka-dotted plastic cup, “I hope you enjoy being old, Hangman.”

Phoenix tucked her finger under the elastic band holding the cone-shaped hat to Rooster’s head and pulled it a good few inches away from his face before releasing it. It slapped harshly against his skin and with a frown, he rubbed his palm over the fresh sting.

“If he’s old, we’re all old,” she scolded. “And you should be nice to the birthday boy.”

“The birthday boy’s got enough nice things. He’s got his lovely lady.” He winked at you and you rolled your eyes with a chuckle. Then he extended his finger to lightly tickle Eve’s cheek. “And he’s got this little nugget.” 

When his daughter giggled in his arms, Jake pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her hair. He smiled contently before turning his head to connect his lips with yours. You both grinned into the kiss, that usual fluttering blooming in his stomach as you placed your hand on his cheek to draw him in closer. 

“Ok,” Payback just short of shouted, trying to pull your and Jake's attention back to the surface. “You know other people are here, right? And you’ve got a child in your arms.”

Separating from Jake, you looked back to your group of friends. “That was an innocent kiss.”

Fanboy snorted and took a bite of his cake. “It was no peck,” he mumbled around a mouthful of sponge and frosting. 

Jake reached behind you to rest his hand against your lower back, but it lasted there all of five seconds before traveling lower to settle on your ass. "Well, that’s as innocent as we get," he said.

“Pathetic,” Rooster playfully scoffed. “Be less in love with each other.”

“Not a chance, man.”

Everyone released a mocking groan at the sappiness, but Jake only snickered and leaned over to kiss your temple. It wasn’t the first time his teammates had joked about your supposed ‘nauseating’ obsession with one another, but underneath, their love for the two of you together was more than supported. 

“We should probably go,” Phoenix said. They all nodded in agreement, hugging you and Jake before giving extra special goodbyes to your daughter. Then they were gone—so much like a herd of wild animals or a school of fish migrating in one giant mass. 

Jake blew out a breath. He wasn’t old, but it didn’t mean the man didn’t feel the exhaustion of the long evening. 

“Tired?” you asked, extending your arms for Eve. 

He handed the girl over to her mother and shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”

“Good, because your night is not over yet.” 

Jake’s eyes followed the movement of your finger drawing a line down the row of his shirt buttons. He looked up at you. “Is that right?”

You winked, and as you turned on your heel to go put Eve to bed, Jake began to throw forgotten used cups and plates into the trash. They littered the area but he expected no less. His friends had a habit of bringing a tornado with them just to vanish when time to deal with the aftermath. 

“You don’t have to do that, baby,” you said, stepping back down the stairs. He felt your arms snake around his waist a moment later and squeeze. “Come with me instead.” 

Taking his hand, you led him to sit in a dining chair and settled yourself onto his lap. 

He knew his gaze was burning as it roamed over the features of your face. The only time it wasn’t was when he made sure to tamp down his desire in front of his daughter. But his baby girl was asleep now, and nothing stopped him from unveiling the entirety of what he felt for you. 

He was fully prepared to capture your lips in a kiss, but you stopped him when you said, “I got you a birthday present.”

Jake cared; he did. But you’d already given him so much and his neediness for you blocked out any ability to think of what could possibly be more important than you on top of him; he inside of you. 

He hummed lowly. “Does it happen to be lacy?” he asked. His fingers slid along the smooth skin of your thigh, pushing up the hem of your dress. “And under here?”

“Yes,” you grinned as you tilted your head down to brush your nose over his. “But I got you something else, too. Something better.”

You hopped up, slipping from his grasp before he could blink and disappearing around the corner into the hall. He instantly felt the gaping hole of your absence; the chill now coating his skin from the sudden loss of your warm body. He wasn’t a fan.

“Honey, I’m not sure there’s much better than you all dolled up in lace,” he called after you. 

You returned with your hands tucked behind your back, a sweet smile on your face as you once again took your seat atop his thighs. Jake rose a brow at your barely contained excitement when you whipped an envelope out and held it in front of his face. He leaned back a bit to get a good look, but the crisp, white folded paper was blank. 

“What is this?”

“You have to open it and read.”

He did as told and took it from your hands, lifting the unsealed flap and pulling out another folded sheet of paper. One of his arms snuck around your waist, holding your body flush against his again—tighter this time so you had no chance of escape—as he began to read aloud. 

“Petition for a change of name of a mi—” Jake’s voice caught on the syllable. His whole body, organs and all, briefly froze within him. A swallow strained his throat. “Minor,” he finally finished. He let the word settle on his tongue and when his brain regained functioning and fully processed the weight of its meaning, his eyes flicked over to yours. “Are you serious?”

Nodding with surety and cupping his cheek, you said, “I want to change her name. You just have to agree and we’ll sign some papers.”

The tears began to cloud his vision, fuzzing the words on the page as he read them again and again. “So, she’d…”

“She’d be Eve Seresin.”

Jake had imagined it before, dreamed about it. His sweet family—a small unit of Seresins that might one day grow into a decent sized bunch. You and he outnumbered by a group of little ones. But since your baby girl was such a surprise and you’d had Eve without him there—without him even in the picture at the time—her name was yours. Jake was fine with that. Of course, he was. It only made sense, and he wasn’t going to demand his daughter take his name just because you and he were officially together. But he couldn’t deny how the thought of his baby girl being a Seresin in name delightfully tightened his chest. He wouldn’t be too terribly upset by his woman sharing his name, either.

With your free hand, you brushed away the escaped salty droplet that slipped down his cheek. He met your eyes again.

“Honey, are you sure? Just because she doesn’t have my name, doesn’t mean—”

You shook your head. “I know, but your family name means something to you,” you said. “Besides, I imagine we’d be doing this sooner or later, and with Eve starting daycare in a couple of months it’s really the perfect time.”

You’re amazing, you know that? He thought about saying it every time he looked at you. Every time he saw you walk through the door, or take care of your daughter, or when you crawled into bed and cuddled up to him. And moments like this, when you expressed your devotion in such wonderful, unexpected ways. 

Jake put his hand on the back of your neck and pulled you down for the kiss he’d been desperate to give you. It was a pattern of long kisses between short kisses, with some kisses making their way to cheeks and jawlines, and eventually, his lips found the sweet, delicate skin of your neck, sucking red marks into the flesh. He liked those marks—made sure to give them to you often—a new one for every old one that disappeared. He was especially adamant about it once you’d started back to work at the bar, remembering all too clearly the wide range of drunk men that went far out of their way to hit on you. But you were his now. You shared a daughter, you had a future, and he didn’t need other guys thinking they were going to get lucky with his lady. And though you didn’t give him the satisfaction, he knew you secretly loved it, too.

You moaned, your head naturally falling to the side to open access to more of your skin, and Jake gripped your neck a bit harder, holding you still as he took a gentle bite.

“I love you,” he whispered against your neck, licking over the fresh mark to soothe the tenderness before lifting his head. “And you gave me a wonderful gift.”

The glimmer in your eye—he lived for that glimmer. That little shine of pride. “Yea?”

“Yea.” He smiled softly. “Any chance you want to get your name changed, too?” 

That smile morphed into a pout, his bottom lip slightly puckering.

“Don’t puppy-dog-eyes me, Seresin.”

“But Honey, I can get a wedding together so fast.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head, but your lips were struggling to stay in a straight line. They begged to curve upwards; to part and bare your white teeth in the perfect smile that had taken him to his damn knees the first time he saw you. 

Jake loved when he could get your smile to break through any emotion you were feeling or trying to portray. He was convinced that was one of the reasons you worked so well together. Crying, irritated, exhausted—didn’t matter what it was, he could find some way to get you to crack a smile. Now was no different. 

He knew you weren’t going to say yes; your relationship was officially only six months old and you’d always lived by a hard line of being with a man for a year before getting married. He knew this before you even slept together, back when you were friends exchanging innocent thoughts about potential futures. But that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy hinting at the subject every once in a while. 

“We’ll talk about it,” you said, moving one of his stray blond locks back into place. “But let's start with our daughter’s.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

He accepted your kiss—your promise that when he asked you that question for real, you would say yes. That was enough for him. When you were ready, he would get down on his knee and present the ring he’d had made a month ago, and you would start another chapter. But for now, everything he had was enough. More than enough. More than he could’ve dreamed of. 

“Would you like to have your other present now?” you asked. 

Your finger slowly traced the neckline of your dress, pulling down just a bit to reveal the lacy trim of your bra.

Jake took in a deep inhale through his nose and let the exhale fill his cheeks as it left his body. Just under that dress was a layer of thin, intricate material in a deep shade of red just barely covering some of his favorite parts of you. Swallowing hard, he replaced your finger with his and pulled the front of your dress lower to expose more of the garment. The lace barely contained the swell of your breasts, and he instantly hardened beneath you, cock straining against the zipper of his jeans. 

With his eyes still glued to your cleavage, he nodded. “I would absolutely love to have my other present now.”

[toomuchracket]

my whole life, waiting for you: part 1 (ross x girlband gf!reader angst/fluff)

i don't know. i just wanted to write something. it's more pining/missing someone than actual angst, and there's more to come, at some point. loosely inspired by the seminal song super trouper by abba lol. i hope you like it <3

it's sunny in glasgow today. which is weird, especially for february.

but it's beautiful, ross thinks. it's a shame that a city so made up of sandstone doesn't get to see the sun so often; the buildings seem to glow when the daylight hits them, reflecting off the glass fronts of their newer neighbours, the intricate details in the stonework clearer than he's ever seen them before. 

the people on the street below seem to glow in the sunshine, too, which is saying something given that ross's hotel room looks out onto hope street, to the flood of people heading to and from glasgow central station. at half 8 on a thursday morning, you'd expect a certain level of crabbiness (or crabbitness, in scotland) from them, as they make their way to another day of work and school and uni, but everyone's a bit more cheery today. scarves have been unravelled, jackets unzipped… there's even one guy walking about in a t-shirt and shorts as if it's mid-july.

ross smiles at the sight, but it doesn't last long. 

you should be here seeing it all with him.

but you're still in london, hundreds of miles away, and he won't see you until he's back there himself. it's only four days away, but it's been ten since the last time you were together, and ross has decided that a fortnight apart is simply too long. especially after the months spent continents apart at the end of last year.

still, it's not like either of you can do anything about it. he's on tour. you're in the final days of production on your band's new album. there's no resentment, at least, because you've both been in the other's shoes, but there's pining, and a loneliness that no amount of calls and texts and facetimes can fully shift.

a knock on the door briefly interrupts it, though, and a familiar deep voice follows. "ross, mate, s'me."

george. ross opens the door, and is immediately pulled into a hug - a proper one, not a hyper-masculine bro hug - before his friend steps into the room and surveys the view. "nice day."

"yeah," ross nods, moving to stand next to george. "sun's nice."

the two men stand in silence for a minute, side by side, looking out at the city below. george turns to look at ross, chewing the inside of his bottom lip. "you alright today, mate?"

ross nods. "just… well, you know how it is. missing my girl."

"yeah, exactly," george nods too, then smiles. "m'happy for you, though. a bit pissed off that you didn't tell me until last night, but mostly happy."

"wasn't even planning on telling you, mate," ross huffs out a laugh. "the night just got the better of me."

the night, beginning with a two-hour long facetime with you after dinner that only exacerbated your respective lonelinesses. ross loves his job, absolutely fucking adores it, but as the days pass he's less and less reluctant to admit that the nomadic nature of touring is beginning to wear a bit thin for him. when you answered that call, tucked up in bed wearing what was unmistakably ross's slowdive t-shirt, brew in hand and glasses on… he did find himself wishing that the next show was the final one, so he could go home to you. and yet, despite that, talking to you did perk ross up a little bit, enough to make him agree to go for some drinks with the band and the techs and try to have a nice evening. 

but the loneliness soon won out again, and the alcohol took over; forty-five minutes after everyone got to what ended up being the final pub of the night, ross was outside chaining cigs and thinking about your call again. george came out for his own smoke, found his friend near tears, and that's when ross spilled the whole story to him, the whole truth about you and him and your relationship. after eighteen months, your secret was finally released, in the middle of mitchell lane, under the neon lights and the moon and a cloud of marlboro smoke, at one o'clock in the morning.

"yeah, well, i'm glad you said," george grins. "she's great. i love her."

"so do i," ross sighs. "and i really, really miss her."

his friend nods. "only four days, though, for both of us. we'll manage. trust me, ross, it'll fly in. and it'll be good. two nights of glasgow shows, yeah?"

"if we were anywhere else, i'd be so much worse."

"i believe it. now," george picks up ross's jacket from the back of a chair and holds it out to him. "shall we take advantage of the nice day and go for a coffee with the boys?"

ross shrugs. "might as well."

***

"george says it's sunny today."

you slowly crack your eyelids open and look at charli blearily. "in glasgow?"

"i know! i didn't believe it either, until he sent me a pic. here," charli, admirably and enviably well-rested and energetic, thrusts her phone towards you.

"oh, yeah. pretty," you squint closer at the screen, noting the infamous 'people make glasgow' sign framed against a backdrop of clear blue sky. squinting further, you make out adam mid-stride towards the city chambers, turning back to look at an animated (probably making a shit joke about george and george square) matty and a smiling ross. a pang of longing hits you square in the chest as you look at your boyfriend and the crinkles by his eyes, drawing a lovesick sigh from your lips.

charli smiles softly at you, putting her phone down on the pull-down table and pulling you into a hug. "three hours to go, babe."

"i know. god, i must sound so stupid, sighing like a fucking war wife or some shit."

"not at all, it's cute," your friend says. "and i always thought you and ross would be cute. didn't i tell you that?"

"i don't think you ever said 'cute', per se, but you did say if we started an onlyfans together then you'd subscribe. so, kinda the same thing, i suppose."

"and i stand by that statement," charli giggles. her face softens. "were you and him, like, together, when i said that?"

"uh huh. had been for a year."

"jesus christ," she shakes her head. "i can't even be annoyed at you for keeping it a secret, because i'm just so fucking impressed you managed to do it for so long."

you shuffle in your seat to look out the window, the view a blurry patch of trees somewhere between london euston and glasgow central. "yeah, in hindsight, we probably shouldn't have hidden it for so long. i'm worried people are going to be upset that we did, when we tell them."

"by people… d'you mean matty?"

you nod, pressing your lips together in nervousness. it's definitely worse for ross, given their long friendship, but matty and george have become almost like older brothers to you through their support of you and your band, and so the fear of the former being hurt by the upcoming revelation is very real to you too.

"oh, he'll be too excited to be sad," charli grins, then giggles maniacally. "and too busy trying to convince you and ross to have musical-prodigy kids."

you think you wouldn't be opposed to that idea, but it still seems too soon to say it out loud.

"i hope you're right, charli," you say instead, although you can't keep the tiny smile from your face at the sweetly domestic thought. "you really think he won't be angry? or adam? christ, imagine upsetting adam! i'd never forgive myself."

"well, put it this way," charli moves so she can look you in the eye, taking your hands in her own. "i was woken up at 2am by george telling me you and ross were secretly together, and that i just had to drop everything today to get the train to glasgow with you so you could surprise him, and my overwhelming emotion was not anger, but excitement. so yeah, i think the boys'll be fine."

you squeeze her hands gratefully. "you took the 2am phone call better than i did," you snort. "i could've throttled your boyfriend for waking me up, babe. especially after the week i've had."

charli laughs. "just think, though - in a few hours, you'll have ross to kiss it better."

and what a nice thought that is. you're aware of your body sinking further into the plush train seat, but every other sense zones out the present completely in favour of remembering past kisses with your boyfriend; it isn't until charli actually pinches your bare forearm that you snap out of your romantic little daydream about ross's lips and tongue and hands.

she laughs when you frown at her, wriggling in her seat into what you've come to learn is her gossip pose. "your face just lit up there - i take it ross isn't lacking in kissing ability?"

you smirk. "not in the slightest."

"i love that for you. and what about ability," charli's volume drops as her brows lift. "... elsewhere?"

the smirk grows, and you gleefully swing your legs as much as you can without instigating an argument with the person sitting in front of you. "no comment."

"oh, you bitch," your friend lightly slaps your arm. "at least tell me if you're satisfied or not, please!"

your mind thinks back to the last night you saw your boyfriend, and to the beard burn still lingering on your inner thighs. "'satisfied' is an understatement."

"obsessed with that. obsessed with the two of you! tonight's going to go well. i can feel it."

deep down, you know charli's right. it's your friends you're telling about you and ross tonight. they love you. they want you to be happy.

you want that too. you want to be able to be the properly proud adoring girlfriend at the side of the stage tonight, cheering on ross and shouting "i love you"s and doing your utmost to get him to do that crinkly-eyed smile that makes your heart glow. all you have to do is be honest with your friends.

ross's eyes cross your mind again, for the millionth time today. yeah, tonight will go well - you'll make sure of it. for him.

[thefrontofmymind]

Make A Wish (matty healy x fem!reader)

You've been keeping your relationship with Matty secret from your friends. You have a good feeling it'll go the distance.

a/n: me writing??? who'd have thought?? anyway, i was in the mood for something sweet so i whipped this up, enjoy xxx

WC: 790

You always loved the song and dance around your birthday. The fact that you planned this exact party over a month ago, yet still got to act surprised when you came home to a gathering of all your closest friends with plenty of food and drink tickled you. In fact, it didn’t even faze you that Adam texted you just before you left work to ask if you could pick up your cake from the little bakery you loved near your office–even with a ‘pretty, pretty please’ added.

Over dinner, you looked over all the faces of the people who loved you enough to come tonight; old uni friends, a few close coworkers, and Matty and the band. 

Matty.

You two acted like friends in front of everyone else, but behind closed doors that was far from the truth. Lingering hands and soft touches, hot breathes and skin sheened with sweat, murmurs of forever and then even after that. You were enjoying the bliss of it, before it could disrupt anything with the group as a whole. Just the two of you.

You caught his eye every so often while you were in separate conversations–just the smallest smirk has he noticed you looking at him instead of devoting your full attention to one of Charli’s stories from an underrage rave she went to with her parents way back when. He could make you giddy like a teenage schoolgirl, and you loved every second of it.

You knew what was next after dinner plates were cleared and George quickly switched off the light above your dining table scattered with half-empty glasses and the odd vape. Cake time. 

Matty and Charli were slowly scooting out of your small kitchen–Matty holding the cake and Charli shielding the lit candles from the air with a lighter in hand.

You smiled, watching everyone sing the Happy Birthday song, giggling a little when it got to the point to sing your name and just about everybody came up with a different nickname of yours to say instead. The song ended with a cheer–and not soon enough, the melted wax off the pink candles was dripping closer and closer to the surface of the icing.

“Alright, make a wish!” Matty said as you got ready to blow out the candles.

You thought for a moment.

~~~

Sun was streaming through the cream linen curtains, just enough to wake you from your deep, sunken-into-the-bed, slumber. You let out an involuntary groan as you stretched the tightness from your shoulders.

You could hear footsteps coming down the hallway; not just soft, deliberate steps on the wooden floor, but also a set of small, quick patters coming closer and closer.

“Shh, okay?” You heard a whisper. “We have to be quiet in case Mummy’s still asleep.”

“Okay…” You heard an even softer voice reply.

The bedroom door creaked open. You closed your eyes apart from a tiny sliver. You could see two figures through your lashes–the man you’d grown to love after years of close friendship, and a tiny outline of a toddler with Matty’s same wild, curly hair, a little girl who you could barely keep up with most days.

“Okay, gently shake her,” Matty instructed.

You felt a cold, little hand on your shoulder. “Mummy…wake up! It’s your birthday!” She whispered, only a mere four inches from your face. It took everything in you not to laugh.

You slowly opened your eyes, and with a groggy voice said, “good morning, sweetie.”

“Happy birthday!” She exclaimed–a little too loud for how early it was in the morning, but you understood she was just excited. “We made you breakfast!”

You turned your attention to the plate and mug that Matty was holding; tea just how you like it and avocado toast with enough salt to soak up the sea.

“Thank you, my loves!” You said, gently taking the mug and plate from Matty, placing the cuppa on your nightstand and the plate in your lap on top of your duvet.

“Someone was a big help with mashing the avocado, huh?” Matty asked your daughter.

She nodded shyly, you were glad she didn’t inherit her father’s ego, even when it came to mashing avocado.

The three of you got cosy in yours and Matty’s king-sized bed, and Matty put Mulan on the TV against the far wall–it was your favourite Disney film when you were young and it was quickly becoming your daughter’s as well.

You never thought you could be this happy. This content. You got all you’d ever dreamed of and more, and you got to do it all with the person you loved the most in this world.

~~~

You smiled, blew out your candles, and hoped for the best.