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madasrabbits · 2 years

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hey kc do u have advice about being embarrassed about my writing? i have like five published pieces but im having major imposter syndrome and feeling like all my stuff is so horrible that i don't even deserve to be considered a writer. im so deeply embarrassed of what i write and feel like i should just give up. this is seriously taking a toll on me mentally and i think its also what's preventing me from writing recently. anyways i love ur work and am just hoping u have some insight. thank you!

YESS i absolutely do have advice. im sure ive mentioned on here before that i used to be steadfast sure id never publish anything for numerous reasons, but one especially being my fear of being average and talentless.

first of all, anyone can be a writer. you dont have to be good at writing to be a writer. at all. you literally just have to write and you’re a writer. i urge you to & hope you can realize your talent or success is not what gives you permission to create. if you swim, you’re a swimmer. if you sing, you’re a singer. if you write, you’re a writer. it’s not the talent that gives the act meaning, its the act itself. you are a writer, and a good one at that, because you create.

one thing i have to tell you is that no matter how much you write & how good you are of a writer, you’re gonna make stuff that isnt that great. youre gonna make stuff that sucks. and thats okay, because those ideas have to go somewhere, and getting them down allows you to move past and create Good Stuff. writing “bad” stuff doesnt make you a good writer, it makes you a healthy creative with a healthy creative process.

but i understand being embarrassed about what you write. i think a lot of times we do write stuff that can feel embarrassing either in topic or execution. like in my case — recently i had a nonstarter crush that hurt my feelings really bad and for a few weeks (probably more) most of the stuff i was writing was just… not good. even if i liked the craft of a sentence, it felt embarrassing and clunky and awkward. it made me feel deeply untalented and Stuck. while writing helps me emotionally process, sometimes you need to recognize that you need to step back from that and find other ways to get out feelings and move through moments of creative or emotional block. i took a while without really writing as much and i worked on editing old stuff and polishing stuff im proud of as a personal reminder that you can do that & you will do that again. i also learned to do other things (skating has helped me with that immensely.)

it also helps to just put it down. you dont need to force yourself to write. i think of it as like a muscle and if if you are using a strained and exhausted muscle, you’re more likely to damage it and then have even a harder time getting back to it. id recommend taking a break or at least putting less pressure on yourself to create. you can work on stream of conciousness writing to continue evolving a practice but then work on not taking that writing as something to be good. sometimes it just helps to sit down and put down Whatever. it sort of helps “unclog” your brain, in my opinion.

in terms of embarrassment ive also worked through a great deal of self criticism (i still do), and it helps me personally to try and investigate those thoughts. i can usually catch myself in the negative thought (im making bad art/this sounds stupid/im talentless/fill in the blank) and then find ways to counteract it. it helps me to remind myself you have to make bad art to make good art, im not put on this earth to create stuff to satisfy anyone else but me, etc. you have to investigate the negative thought at the source and find ways to counteract it by disproving that logic (at least thats how it works for me.) it might also help to talk about the negativity with a friend or someone else (ive even used my therapist to break through some of those thoughts, but i know not everyone is helped by therapy or doesnt have access to it.) in general, i think the most important thing is finding the root of a thought and then working to curb or work around it — and it takes patience and time. its hard. but you’ll get past it. i promise.

altogether, i think id recommend being gentler with yourself. patience is the hallmark of creating art and your mind is a very gentle machine that needs care and time. allow yourself to rest & do things that bring your brain calm and new inspiration. i always seek out new music when im feeling blocked or i go for a walk/skate/drive/etc. but its not a bad thing to put it down, to take a break. ive gone months and months without writing literally anything, and there’s nothing inherently bad about that. you might be cyclical like me, or perhaps you need rest and to find your starting point again. perhaps focus less on publishing for a while and work on creating stuff that satisfies you, or maybe find other ways to be creative that isnt writing. its easy to get caught up in our own fears, but you’ll get past this. just have patience and do what feels best for you & what brings you creative fulfillment, even if that means taking a break. allow yourself to create bad art, too.

i hope this helps. i wish you the best.

#asks #sorry this got so long #if you need clarification or have further questions im happy to answer that too— i tried to offer some approaches to various angles of your #feelings but what it really comes down to is you feeling out whats best for you.

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ye-xiu · 22 days

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totally agree with your blurb on svt in terms of each members strengths/weaknesses but the point on not taking gyuhan biased people seriously is so funny to me cause in my experience people bias those members mostly because of variety and personality vs talent. not everyone considers like...individual musical talents as a main factor in who to bias in a group sometimes you just like someone cause theyre goofy. since kpop is a multifaceted industry anyway i dont think the variety and personality side of it is something that shouldn't be considered and more often than not theyll concede that their biases arent the strongest singers etc in the group yknow? (well, barring the truly delusional ones but thats a whole other thing) anyway. just enjoyed the discussion so i thought id add my thoughts there

anon, i appreciate the insight and anything to add to the conversation! i also think variety strength or personality is something why you can have a bias or love seeing them. with jeonghan and mingyu i feel like they need a little more exposure of that part of them to hit for me in the same way, say, seungkwan does as someone who is truly a variety idol to his blood and who gets more opportunities for that. i also think with people like jeonghan, he’s not the best singer or dancer, but he adds lovely parts to vocal unit songs especially and even when he and joshua are lead vocals only, unlike in many groups they sing more than decently and the entire vocal group can sing and harmonise with each other quite well.

with mingu it’s a little trickier for me — i know most people notice him first because he is that outstandingly handsome and a lot of casual fans only care about him for that. i think he adds a lot to their concerts and the general dynamic of the group, even when he is one of the weaker members when it comes to musical effortlessness so to speak. he has his strengths and i feel like some mingyu (or gyuhan) stans forget about those too sometimes when all they care about is how they look. also indeed svt stans are often times realistic about their biases in a way a lot of other stans of popular members in other groups aren’t. i think it got worse with the recent influx of fans but i usually meet people who are just very sweet and a little insane about their biases (who isn’t?) while still being normal.

#ask #anonymous #i agree anon variety potential or personality are also a big reason to stan! like i bias wonwoo in svt as well for his writing but also his #personality. i do sometimes think gyuhan biased people can tend to skew in the weirder stan territory which is a majority of newer fans.

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archer3-13 · 11 months

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Two gundam characters I feel have a tendency to be misunderstood would be daryl lorenz and io flemming from thunderbolt. and thats understandable, its manga in the west isn't particularly wide spread [especially when we're talkin the less legal side of things] and its animated adaptations stalled out waiting for the manga to finish up [among health complications for the author as well].

in essence though id say they're two characters with very deceptive first appearances. io comes off as a very yazan like character, a skilled pilot out of raw natural talent and a bloodthirsty/battle hungry edge to him. someone who says to have been possessed by the demon of the battlefield. daryl lorenz on the other hand comes across as soft spoken and gentle, much more in the mold of your pacifistic type leading man ya see relatively often in gundam with the added bonus of newtype rumors [that are absolutely true of course] spiraling around him to boot.

once ya start getting into the individual characters especially as the story gets on ya start to see how those first impressions were, i would fairly confidently say, misdirects on the characters actual nature. io for all of his brutality on the battlefield is in essence incredibly fucking childish, and not even just in the sense of being immature but arguably in every sense of the word. hes easily excitable, he gets upset to the point of throwing tantrums, hes got that childish inflated ego that takes criticism poorly, and in the manga, he just makes the goofiest faces out of almost anyone else. and in that manner his initial demeanor reveals itself for the facade it actually is; an act to help handle the stress and tragedy going on in his life better [the loss of his home, his friends and their dreams falling apart, his fathers suicide] by effectively ignoring it and pretending everything's fine. its also why as a character he goes through a lot more development in terms of his identity as one then his comparative foil daryl, criticism from his teammates and commanders who try and help bring him past that childishness so his abilities as a pilot and asset can flourish, suffers a lot more setbacks and obstacles to overcome and develop around compared to the numerous successes daryl enjoys in the stories later half, until he finally gets that snap realization of 'i get it now' that lets him grow as a character after hitting his lowest point [the 'all is lost moment' as it were if ya wanna get cheeky].

daryl by comparison for all his outward nobility especially in the early parts of the story, is once ya move past that misdirection a character far more consumed by the battlefield then his comparative rival is I would say. we can see this in the literal sense, he loses his legs and one of his hands to the battlefield before deciding to willingly remove his last hand for the opportunity to be a better pilot on the battlefield, in the later parts of the story he suffers a number of lapses to his fight with io in the thunderbolt sector in later fights to the point of entering a warrior berserker like trance, and the reuse psycho-p device itself being his effective signature a device that connects you on a biological level to your mobile suit so you can pilot better [*cough* ibo *cough*] but i'd say you can also see that on a more thematic sense as well. daryl being the star pilot of the living dead division is arguably rather apt in the manner that as a character daryl could be said to be of the 'living dead' variety himself. he doesnt really have much of an interest in the zeonic cause all things considered, he only joins up to help earn citizenship for his family and he only joins up with the zeon remnants to care for karla [and cause they're using her as a barganing chip but shshshshhhh]. yet in man instances he still displays a strong sense of patriotisms towards the nation of zeon despite his own experiences, and i'd say the reason for that is that daryls something of an empty vessel for ideology at the end of the day who takes up these causes because of a lack of any strong personal beliefs. he shares a childish excitement for the battlefield with io at the end of the day certainly, the only time hes arguably ever actually alive even is on the battlefield, but he has a tendency to bounce between beliefs and ideologies rather easily taking them up passionately as his own and inspiring others to do the same without thinking for himself on any particulars. theres an argument to be made with the levan fu stuff that hes just doing and going what and where karla wants to go, but noticeably he becomes a much more genuine fan and believer of levan fus professed ideology then karla ever does [who correctly pegs that fu's just out for revenge more then an actual grand visionary], with others around him placing him in the position of an ideologue and successor to fu then strictly taking that up for himself. as well theres the whole matter of becoming more the mobile then your own person, being consumed by its power, cutting away so much of yourself that your only able to truly move [in daryls case feel like he has limbs again anyways] in a powerful machine of death etc, but thats all ground that also gets covered in ibo so i'll assume when i point to mikazuki and barbatos and say 'its kinda like that thematically', ya'll can get me.

with that all in mind its why i'd say the script ultimately gets flipped in a manner once it comes to the final battle [in setup anyways] in terms of the general strokes of the players at action. thunderbolt begins with the zealous unpalatably presented moore brotherhood using unsavory tactics in pursuit of a noble cause [reclaiming their destroyed stolen homeland] going up against the palatably presented living dead zeon division who are under orders to hold side 4s smoking ruins to protect their own homeland [and also be guinepigs but hey ho]. come to the final battle and you have the sketch as hell presented south seas alliance using unsavory tactics in pursuit of a noble cause [blowing up anaheim] going up against a more nobly presented spartan division of the federation who are under orders to stop the terrorists from challenging the federations authority [and blowing shit up, like anaheim].

cause as characters io and daryl themselves have gone in rather opposite directions all things told.

#gundam #gundam ibo #gundam thunderbolt #some rather broad thoughts #so im sure im getting things wrong #or over generalizing #just wanted to write it down

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james-fun-in-the-sunderland · 1 year

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pt 2 . still vicky. 31, 35, 40, 51, 67, 69. 🙄

NO need for all of these rolling eyes SMH... u didnt evven have to send these sirrrr

ANYWAY link back to the 69 ttrpg asks i GUESS

31. do they respond well to praise? how about criticism?

as said in the last ask he does respond well to praise however it all depends on WHO is praising and how OVERT and how OFTEN... praise him too much and he'll get MAD but praise him too little and he will also get mad, he doesnt respond well to criticism. if you criticise him too much he may actually completely hate ur ass, but thats if he thinks it isnt deserved and EVEN THEN he will still get annoyed like whatever man >:/

35. when did they feel loneliest?

i feel like this ones a LITTLE obvious but while his mom was in the hospital probably! his childhood home would be all empty he'd have no one to come home to and he would only come home after doing jobs and visiting her so he had no time for literally anyone or anything else, not that he really had the energy for anything else anyway, at least after she died he would go out and just talk to anyone off the street but while she was still alive it was just him and a dying woman while he pushed away anyone else bc he felt extremely vulnerable during this time too (he was also like. 25 so he was also just dealing w being a young adult and all the angst there so . he was NOT doing well)

40. if you had to remake this character right now, how would you change them?

GOOD QUESTION id probably make his hair different, change his backstory a lil and quite a few scars ! alot of stuff w him is either in active development or straightened out so id probably change more of the actually established stuff ... maybe give him a different clothing style, make him more outward with some traits like his musical ability... hmmm this is such an interesting q

51. what element of their backstory are you proudest of?

ALOT OF IT im always very proud of my lil characters backstories hehe... i try to make them all make sense for the person a character has developed into and i feel like vickys especially really reflects that, if i really had to choose one aspect it would be how death just follows him all throughout his backstory, people dying annd leaving him left and right making him really feel surrounded by it ya kno... not even just with the obvious stuff like ALOT of his childhood friends end up dying lmao its just fun themes ...

67. do they consider themselves to be special?

NO absolutely not, hes literally described himself as just another average joe DESPITE COMPLETELY NOT BEING ONE . this man cannot die and works for like 5 different mobs and yet hes like nah im just a normal single father man, idk why ur saying im so weird. he also just gets weirded out by the idea of someone finding him so special... ofc he really would love to be special in a way he can control, i suppose thats really it huh, he really loves control and if people find him special for his deathlessness or anything its like... ok but he doesnt CONTROL that... he can control his talents though so if someone found him special for that hed be like YEAH literally im so cool

69. what’s one secret they don’t want getting out?

the classic. lets go through the obvious ones, his deathlessness, even though its an open secret he really doesnt like people talking about it, his crime too of course but he doesnt even care that much about that either, like even less, his daughter even knows and has talked abt how he kills people for money so... his whole past is a secret even to his daughter bc hes just a private person... i suppose also the main one would be his real name (for people who dont know his real legal name isnt actully vicky love, its louis cox! ( louis pronounced louey bc hes french lol)) he started fully going by vicky when his mom died so he just doesnt like to be called louis bc it reminds him of his 'past life' ... hes got alot of secrets huh... these are really the only things he DOESNT want to get out tho, most other things hes private about he doesnt really care if people learn it

#rev lore #the secret uestion was hard and i feel like not interesting at allllll augh but he doesnt HAVE any secrets hes just a private guyyy #OC: Vicky Love

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fandom-monium · 3 years

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i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be?

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows.

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous.

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about?

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all.

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.”

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are.

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal.

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that.

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed?

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh.

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door.

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug.

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now?

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name."

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

"You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions.

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you.

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting.

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you?

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare.

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile.

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles.

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago.

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back.

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile.

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.”

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters.

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism.

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance

#spencer reid x reader #mgg x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #mgg fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg x y/n #matthew gray gubler x oc #matthew gray gubler imagine #mgg fic #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x oc #criminal minds x reader #stiles stilinksi x reader

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lady-literature · 3 years

Note

hi hi hi i'm new here but i just got through your entire (at least i think so) accidental crime boss mari au and i love it so much!!! also my imagination went wild and here's what it came up with (this is so long, i'm so sorry 😂)

so, Jason teaching the kids street stuff, like pickpocketing and such, nobody can Ever pickpocket Mari (not that they'd try, i think, hahaha), somehow it's just not possible. you think you have her and then find out otherwise. furthermore! she'd probably actually know how to do A Lot of what Jason is teaching (look, saving Paris that many times and seeing the shit she's seen must have taught her something about street smarts, okay?), but whether she's aware of all of it or not remains... unanswered. she absolutely surprises everyone, jaws-on-the-floor style, the first time she does it, especially when she does it consciously. every time she does something unknowingly (and still in the Nicest Way Possible, how even--) Jason probably quietly gathers the kids around so that they can watch and learn in real time from an example. and also, even though she's The Responsible One between the two of them when it comes to this stuff, sometimes Mari helps the kids do something, like maybe pickpocket someone in the family, as a prank

now about the Rules!! more specifically the sword fighting and duelling etiquette rule: auntie Kagami teaches everyone who wants to learn fencing every time she visits. there are tournaments. there's probably a pocket dimension designed specifically for that. it doesn't help lessen the amount of Shenanigans happening all the time but boy does it get competitive

also also also i love the name Mother of Heroes!!!! it's so cool!!! The Brood too!!!

if you've got any, i would love to see some more headcanons with the Sirens or the other dark/darker characters of the city (i'm not that well-versed in the DC universe, so idk what to call them if they have a name, sorry)

also, we already know she's called the Pixie and that she's kinda considered a mob boss and etc., but like, what about the point of view of an outsider? the way it all came to be really must sound like something from legends or fairytales out there on the streets. something so sudden and kind, and if you look a bit closer magical and just so unexplainably other???? kids just disappearing off the streets in that area and then resurfacing again looking well fed and taken care of???? to those disillusioned enough with life it must literally sound like an urban legend or something. but she's real. if you need help you just gotta find her.

HI HI HI!!! oh my gosh all of it??? thank you so much!!

1) i think that Mari knows theoretically a lot of things about being on the streets, but not a lot practically. living on the streets has less to do with being able to fight and a lot more to do with instincts and experience and all these little tics you pick up when all you have to count on is yourself.

there are, of course, certain ‘street talents’ as i call them, like being able to pick locks and con people and having a sense for danger etc, etc.

mari knows that tangible things, because she’s bound to pick them up, obviously. the kids just don’t forget what they’ve learned, so often she sees it in action. Jason also teaches her street talents as well, sometimes on purpose, most times on accident.

there is a difference though, in how Mari uses said talents. when the kids use them, there is an edge to every movement. they use their talents like weapons, like they are shields, all bared teeth and fingers like claws. their talents come from pain and necessity and there will always be something a bit vicious about it.

Mari doesn’t have that, and never will. her talents are tools and tools only, one more to add to her vast repertoire. it’s as impersonal as it gets for her, which means its soft and sweet and used with care. her talents, even in combat or duels, are velvet over steel.

2) Oba Kagami, unfortunately, can’t visit often but when she does, oh boy is it intense. Mari and Chloe are always delighted when she and Adrien visit, but mari spends most of the trip running around and quelling fights and making sure no one loses a finger

3) thank you! i’d like to say id been planning the Mother of Heroes for a while but i came up with it mostly on the spot lol. it fits really well though and makes a lot of sense imo

i quite like it

4) hmmm. im not sure about much of that. despite being thought of as a crime boss, she stays away from the other rogues mostly. I think, if given the chance, Mari would likely adopt killer croc without question, and I think she’s on okay terms with Riddler in that they like to exchange brain teasers and the like, but other than the Sirens, mari stays away from crime.

for the sirens though, i very much like the idea that Harley basically thinks of Mari as a younger sister and is liable to just take her out on the town and leave Selina and Ivy to watch the kids while they go cause trouble for whatever group has caught Harley/Mari’s ire this time.

Ivy and Mari have a comradery in their shared love of plants and similarity in their powers. mari is more expansive and flexible than Ivy’s, but they share the same roots and the two spend lots of time gardening and keeping crops for the kids. (though, harvesting is often a chore for the older ones)

5) Mari being an urban legend is the truest thing I have heard. god, i’ve never really considered the outsiders perspective but yeah. could you imagine the stories people would whisper about the faerie living near crime alley? in the beginning, just after things start picking up and Mari has somewhere upwards of a dozen kids, I think it’d look something like this:

“People say there’s faeries living near crime alley. Magic folk settling back into the city that tried to drive them out. No one knows what they want, but they keep taking kids. The strange ones, the ones that are like them, that aren’t quite human.

“They say that they’ll help you, if only you ask. But be careful. There hasn’t been a kid to go in there and not come out different. They’re stronger, normally. And well-fed. But they also talk of strange creatures and stories no one’s ever heard of and you stop seeing them on the streets so much. (They say they live with the faeries now.)

“No one knows what the faeries want, but we know this: they help when you ask and they keep taking kids. I suppose, in the grand scheme, it depends on how much your willing to risk for some help.”

#maribat #mlb x dc #my typewriter #crime boss mari

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bloededhoine · 3 years

Text

world building cause twn doesn't pt. 2: nilfgaard!

pt. 1 on the northern realms here

okay i'm making this because 1 witcher netflix is the most convoluted and confusing thing i've ever seen and does literally no world building and 2 special interest make autism brain go brr.

about this series

this is gonna be a multi part series about the witcher universe but this is all about nilfgaard!

ciri's timeline in twn encompasses the entirety of the first northern war, beginning with the attack on cintra and ending with the battle at sodden

the show ended in 1264 when we saw geralt meet ciri

this is just covering the human portions of nilfgaard. i'll talk about elven allied groups like the scoiatael later.

colour code cause i fucking love colour codes - already happened/introduced, probably s2, important background info, stuff that might be in the prequel, extras

background

the witcher takes place on the continent, which is mainly divided between south and north

the north is a collection of many kingdoms while the south is basically just nilfgaard and its many territories, dependencies, provences, and vassal states.

some of these conquered areas include toussaint, vicovaro, nazair, and mettina

nilfgaard loves invading the north. a lot. like this is the driving force of most of the plot in the witcher.

basic info

nilfgaard an insanely powerful absolutist monarchy, ruled by an emperor who has a huge collection of talented mages, spies, commanders, and advisors

as of ciri's timeline in twn, the emperor is emhyr var emreis, or, to those on more intimate terms with him: the white flame dancing on the graves of his foes

[ID: middle aged white man with slicked back shoulder length greying black hair. he is wearing a black dress with a red and black embroidered shirt underneath. he is wearing a gold medallion around his neck, has black leather boots, and is holding a silver goblet. end ID]

emhyr is crazy important, both as a character and to the politics of the witcher. he's also a member of the house of emreis, which i'll go into detail on in a bit.

he is also a major walking spoiler, so i won't talk about him in the context of twn or the books

nilfgaard is divided between the "heart" of the empire, also known as lower alba or simply nilfgaard, and the conquered territories, dependencies, provinces, etc

for all of nilfgaard's imperialism, it does allow these areas to retain a lot of their original cultural identity, to the point where someone from vicovaro would not really consider themself nilfgaardian

this works out because nilfgaard would not consider a vicovarian nilfgaardian either

lower alba

lower alba is the home of "real" nilfgaardians, and is also where the capital city is located

theres a bit of racism and racial purity here: lower albans consider themselves superior to the rest of humans due to their elven ancestry

this elven ancestry is also why nilfgaard is far more sympathetic to nonhumans than the north and uses a language similar to hen llinge (elder speech)

there are a LOT of notable albans, so i'll just keep it to the important ones and my favourites: carthia van canten aka cantarella, morvran voorhis, stefan skellen, the house of emreis, and vattier de rideaux

the capital, known as the city of golden towers or simply nilfgaard, is home to the imperial palace, where the emperor spends most of his time

i say most because there is also a summer residence at loc grim palace

now that we know the basics of the core empire, let's visit the other territories!

toussaint

the duchy of toussaint is one of the most important nilfgaardian states, and definitely the most beautiful. it's main economy is in wine

toussaint actually has no secret service or military, something quite rare on the continent. it does however, have a large system of knights errant that love chivalry

the capital is beauclaire, which is where the duke/duchess live

as of twn, its ruler is the duchess anna henrietta. i'll let you all make your own assumptions about the lovely annarietta

also for some reason in toussaint, people have 2 names that are smushed together. so anna henrietta becomes annarietta, sylvia anna becomes syanna, carolina roberta becomes caroberta etc

annarietta is also distantly related to emhyr, her great grandfather is the half brother of emhyr's father

the most notable toussaintois are the mages fringilla and artorius vigo

here's fringilla in twn. [ID: young black woman in a long sleeve grey-blue cloak. her hair is pulled back and she is looking slightly up and to the right with a blank expression. end ID]

vicovaro

"THERE ONCE WAS A MAID FROM VICOVARO..."

okay vicovaro is vassal state near the southernmost part of the empire, but we know it more for the people from it than what it actually is

there is an actual ruler, but the state is largely controlled by two key houses: the var anahid family and the dyffryn family

the capital is vicovaro, but the houses have their own land. we don't really hear about the var anahids, but the dyffyn house controls dyffra

notable vicovarians include assire var anahid and cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach. cahir in twn is right there.

[ID: young white man in black armour. he has an angular face and brown slicked back hair. he is scowling]

mettina

okay mettina is a bit confusing since it is the shared name for three different places. the first is the administrative unit mettina, which includes the provence mettina (2) and the provence maecht. in the provence there is also the capital city mettina (3).

tor lara aka the tower of the swallow is in mettina, and not much else tbh

maecht was the home of duny (that little man) for an unspecified number of years

[ID: young white man with dark curly hair. his face is dirty and sweaty and he is frowning slightly]

"wait! i thought duny was the urcheon of erlenwald, and that's in cintra!" don't... don't think too hard about duny. he lived in mettina for a while and took a trip to cintra where he met pavetta.

ebbing

for all intents and purposes, ebbing is an autonomous state, although nilfgaardians do have a hand on the wheel

includes salm, a technically sovereign provence, but is de facto dependent on ebbing

ebbing is most notably home to stygga castle, the one time fortress for the school of the cat, and bounty hunter leo bonhart

also, roegner of ebbing, pavetta's father, is from here

nazair

nazair is kinda the least important of the more important nilfgaardian dependencies

it was independent for a while but was conquered by cintra under queen calanthe and then nilfgaard under emperor emhyr

its main industries are cinnabrite and silver, both luxury goods

the only mildly important nazairi is becca of nazair, ciri's 6 times great grandmother

other minor areas

alba, toussaint, ebbing, and vicovaro are really the only important nilfgaardian areas, although mettina and nazair are mentioned quite a bit. borders change a lot, especially with an imperialist power, but this is the general list of nilfgaardian areas as of the first northern war

regions - daerlan (notable for military), eiddon (owned and ruled by alban spy vattier de rideaux), liddertall, magne, rowan, ruach, slopes (home to haern caduch, the bear school fortress), tarnhann, winneburg, and ymlac

provences - angren provence (contains dol angra, a profitable trade route), cintra (1264-1268), etolia, gemmera, geso, mag turga, mettina (contains kingdoms mettina and maecht), and nazair

vassals - cintra (after 1268), ebbing, toussaint, and vicovaro

tl;dr: the most important part of nilfgaard is lower alba, which is surrounded by many dependencies including toussaint, vicovaro, nazair, and mettina.

thank you for reading! i'm definitely gonna make more parts and will link them here when i do!

#the witcher #twn #wild hunt #the witcher netflix #jaskier #geralt #geraskier #tw3 #geralt x jaskier #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #witcher #geraskefer #geralt x jaskier x yennefer #mine #gen tag #lore tag #haven't got a fucking queue

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prettyboykatsuki · 3 years

Note

Hon I’m downloading genshin rn bc of you yup your posts got me hooked and all, tysm 🤗🤗 any advice for the newbie?

IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR A GAMBLING ADDICTION LMAOO

probably not the best person to ask LMAO i don’t consider myself even kinda good 👍🏽 uhhh from a complete and utter casual

honestly, you’ll have a ton to do from ar1-40 so that’s smth to think about

AGAIN I AM NOT A GENSHIN PERSON. IM VERY MUCH A CASUAL SO THIS IS ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO IS NOT AN EXPERT. ALL FROM VERY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

1. Enjoy playing the game bc the end game is hella boring LMAO. don’t try to rush everything bc u will run out of stuff to do. Pace yourself if you can. Do story quests and explore, learn the lore. the game is pretty and it’s fun to run around

2. it’s worth it to get your energy up by looking for the the anemoculus early game. it’s easy to do with maps online and costs practically nothing.

3. DO NOT PULL FOR EVERY CHARACTER LMAO. save your primogems for characters u really want (im guessing ur not trying to spend real money on these mfs) you’ll get more character as time goes on and there are a lot of good four stars that you’ll get as you keep playing. they do a lot of giveaways and that’s another good way to get decent characters.

also the main free characters you get are not nearly as bad as people say, in fact w enough effor they’re actually quite good especially imo kaeya and xiangling

4. have a very basic understanding of the gameplay mechanics before going in. I’ve played a lot of video games in my time so in my opinion, a lot of very important genshin mechanics are not explained as well as they should be. id suggest looking for a YouTube video that explains the most raw basics tbh

some stuff you’ll wanna know: how to level up your character, what talents are, how to build a good team, etc.,

5. people will tell you not to worry about artifacts early on, this is kinda true. you don’t need to worry about the nitty gritty but having a few decent ones early game helps you proceed and fight.

6. focusing on elemental damage/reactions will make your life easier late game but i run physical damage razor so don’t take it to heart lol.

7. spend your primos wisely seriously holy fuck that shit is a black hole for ur sanity

#return to sender #genshin brainrot #I’m NOT the person to ask this btw #feel free to ask what characters I like but again I ply very casual

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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years

Text

[OM!] (American) College!AU Demon Brothers

Scenario: Headcanons on the demon brothers as college students (specifically in the US because I don’t know how college works elsewhere), their possible majors, career goals, extracurriculars, ~GPA~ and whatever else I could think of + how meet you in college

Note: I’m hoping to do a Part 2 with the Undateables but honestly… we’ll see lol. This is based off something ~A~ and I thought of for our specific university but we’ve made it broad enough to share HAHA this turned out VERY long

Lucifer

Majoring in Political Sciences with a minor in Psychology

Pre-Law-- most likely immigration law or child custody (there’s definitely a backstory here)

Initially went to community college for the first two years to save up money to take care of his younger siblings

Rejected an offer to go to an Ivy League because it was too expensive; if his siblings ever found out they’d be furious that he’d give up on that chance, but he knows he can succeed wherever he goes (and besides, family is first)

Transferred into a 4-year university his junior year

Very high GPA-- VERY

In a professional fraternity with Diavolo and Barbatos

He didn’t think he’d join one either but Diavolo was the vice chair when he transferred in and the president the year after so… ~nepotism?~ and also Lucifer is charming as heck so no surprise he’d get in

Also rooms with Diavolo and Barbatos

Goes to the gym regularly just to keep fit; gets goaded by Diavolo and Satan into joining an IM team with his frat brothers and actual brothers-- probably basketball or flag football

Probably meets you at a interclub council meeting and mutters under his breath how useless the board members are and you overhear

“Never have I met more incompetent people.”

“Lmao mood”

“!!!”

Keeps sitting next to you at every interclub meeting then after because at least there’s someone that can keep his mind stimulated (thinks you’re hot if you’re competent btw)

If you somehow meet him on campus, he’s the type of guy to put his hand up and pretend he didn’t see you (just kidding, he always ends up saying hi anyways)

Will Absolutely Lecture You if you are procrastinating on studying especially if your midterm is, like, TOMORROW

Always ends up studying with him because he’s actually focused on studying and glares at you if you get distracted (but hey you get good scores in the end)

Mammon

Majoring in Business Econ/Economics, Minoring in Statistics

(always ends up in the middle of the “is econ a humanities or a STEM major” debate that leaves him left for dead)

Planning to work in Business as Finance -- probably has been treasurer or finance director for a club; can even see him being a banker if it suits his plans better

Goes to a four-year university

Decent GPA (or Lucifer would absolutely destroy him), and does REALLY well in mathematics classes

Would room with Lucifer and his posse if they all go to the same school

Probably in a Business Frat as well because he’s pretty charismatic when it comes down to it but was an RA for some of his years for the free rooming and dining hall privileges

Is a very chill and understanding RA (as in he smokes weed with you when he’s off-duty) but is surprisingly well-versed in dealing with roommate issues

Works part-time (gasp) to buy stuff off of Amazon and go out to places

Spends a lot of time exploring places with his friends, going hiking, rock-climbing, clubbing-- which is expensive, as it turns out, so he needed to be able to afford it somehow

Meets you when you’re eating your lunch outside somewhere and he asks you if you have a dollar he could borrow for a vending machine snack

You exchange numbers with him so he can pay it back (even though you honestly don’t really need it, but why not) and turns out he’s in your GE class

“Heyyy wassup! So glad I have a friend in this class”

“Oh by the way, did you finish the homework? Haha, I forgot it.”

Mammon always repays you for your help in food though so you aren’t complaining

Leviathan

Majoring in Computer Sciences

And honestly that’s too much for me already-- the man is doing computer programming, coding-- WHEW-- and they do NOT rest

Goes to a community college but honestly has no problems cinching internships. The computer is his domain-- online applications are EASY, doing projects NOT as easy, interviews? HARD-- REALLY HARD (someone help him)

Probably intends to work with a big company like Google if only to help supply his income so he can live his life going to AX and buying merch

Most likely moved out of his house mid-college with his online friends (who are luckily compatible with him living-space wise) and visits home once a week

There’s two potential sides you can meet first:

Either you meet him at a convention and you both gush about the same character and anime and somehow find each other online (not college related)

Or his favorite Ruri-chan keychain gets broken off in the computer lab, and you’re the one running after him to give it him

He may or may not owe you his life after that (and if you enjoy anime, well that’s a bonus)

Both of these meetings can happen if he doesn’t recognize you in class because you were in cosplay-- imagine the surprise

The two of you as friends are MASTER PROCRASTINATORS at every assignment the two of you have-- so low-key not a great influence-- but you have fun together watching animes, playing games, talking about life-- anything but actual work

Always ends up scrambling to finish things-- but he keeps doing it because it’s been working for him so far

You help him prepare for interviews because he’s always nervous before each one regardless of how well his application looks

Satan

Majoring in Comparative Literature AND Anthropology (ya boy is doing the whole nine yards)

Planning to get his Master’s and then a PhD in one of his majors (whichever proves to be more engaging for him)-- visibly excited to become a Professor

College was meant for Satan-- like REALLY; the man is in LOVE with learning; most likely to go and be accepted to an Ivy-League after Lucifer but... truly believes you can get a good education anywhere so it depends on his financial standing (and how much scholarship he gets)

Does get a little disgruntled when his classes aren’t available but doesn’t mind learning something new-- if the professor bores him to death, he’ll read the book

Really good at tutoring people; someone suggests that he works as a peer-learning facilitator/writing tutor and he does-- might as well make bank doing something you always do anyways

Joins a writing/journal club as an extracurricular and a club that provides tutoring services to the underserved community-- surprisingly good with kids!

He knows friends in high places, so if he wanted to, could get into any party without batting an eye and his favorite professors love him

Spends a lot of his time going out to the city and exploring places, similarly to Mammon, rock-climbing, hiking, paragliding-- anything

He is VERY well-rounded as you can see; competes with Lucifer to see whose GPA is better though

You probably meet him during office hours, and you can only stare in awe as he asks questions that you had in mind, but better; if you’re visibly confused about something, he’ll take his time to help you too (it’s habit at this point)

Ask him for his contact info and you’ll get it, and maybe repay him in coffee? (You always see him at the cafe on campus.)

Most likely to have a specific spot in a cafe that he is always at that the workers actually save a spot for him or give him his usual order before he even arrives-- may or may not have helped them edit their essays or with their homework as a thank-you so you KNOW they’ll love him forever

The type of person to help you make flashcards and cram if you need it

Asmodeus

Majoring in Dance and Fine Arts (I HC going to NYU specifically)

Considering going for an Master of Fine Arts degree but he might just move to New York and go for being a Broadway Star

College is mainly just training for him and hoping to land gigs in local theater-- and the university theater if there is one-- and building his resume for his big break

Has SO many extracurriculars, all pertaining to his career choice, but also because he enjoys what he does: drama, competitive dance team, acapella, fashion design

Makes an unbelievable amount of friends, incredibly good at networking

The first time you saw him was when he was performing for a local theater and you were in love with his performance, and the next time you saw him in the hallway of a classroom building, you told him how much you enjoyed it

Always accepts compliments about his looks with grace, but there’s something about truly being admired for his acting and singing that has him preening

Invites you to come out to his next performance, and if not his, then to another play-- and it can be a date, but up to you ;)

The man is the KING of Multiple Talents and has big dreams to match

Always finds a way to hang out with you and drag you to every club that he can use his fake-id for (and when he’s actually 21 and above, gets a little offended that he doesn’t get ID’d)

A night in the town with you is always a good night!

Sometimes when he has practical exams coming up, he asks you to watch him perform-- and he likes your compliments but actually takes getting all the moves seriously so you better pay attention!

Most likely to move far away to reach his dreams, but he would take you with him if he could-- his little star

Beelzebub

Majoring in Physiological Sciences

Pre-Nursing or Pre-Sports Medicine

He’s a little undecided, but he’s definitely going to go into the health field because he likes the idea of being able to use his strength to help others

Gets a scholarship from the university because he’s part of the football team, which is actually pretty hard on him because Fall Semester/Quarter he has to keep skipping classes for games

Always brings a snack to eat with him during lecture-- and is not afraid to bring his entire lunch and make it right in the front row, though he tends to stick to the back because they tend to have electrical plugs

You most likely meet him during lecture: he offers you an entire sandwich (not a chip bag, not fruit snacks, an entire LUNCH) because he heard your stomach growl during class

From then on, you collect notes for him when he’s gone from games and even go to games if you aren’t usually the type to just to see how he’s doing; it’s hard trying to find you among the huge bleachers, but he always asks you where you’re sitting anyways

Really appreciate it if you help him study into late at night because it IS hard balancing sports and academics

He most likely doesn’t really have any time for anything else so he usually makes up for it during the rest of the year when training is less to volunteer in the hospital or at the gym as a personal trainer

If you ask him to teach you how to properly lift weights, he’ll definitely help out and the both of you can work out together-- though you feel bad when he has to add four extra weights to each side after you finish your reps

Belphegor

Majoring in Computer Graphics/Animation

Intending to go into making animation or game design-- is one of the brothers who doesn’t really know exactly what he wants to do yet because he’s afraid that doing what he loves as a job will ruin it for him

His family reassures him that they’ll support him whether or not he continues with his path in life, but he’s considering art school and then taking internships in places so he has a better idea on what he wants

Most likely to sell his own original work and become a full-time artist regardless

I think you already know how you meet him-- he’s sleeping in a lecture hall-- either against the wall or on the small piece of wood they call a desk when class ends and he’s still sleeping; and you wake him up

Sleepily thanks you and continues to sleep through every class that you wake him up to; when you ask him why he doesn’t just go home and sleep, he tells you he’s too lazy to walk back and forth from his dorm/apartment to campus (mood)

When you add each other on Snapchat or something, he sends you pics of ‘places to nap’ on campus

You always end up studying together because he’s actually pretty good at understanding lecture stuff despite not being awake for most of it-- apparently he’s used to teaching himself

Will make you art for your birthday and will vehemently refuse payment so he just tells you to take him out for dinner instead

If you talk about how you’re not sure on what you want to do in life too, he’ll probably say ‘mood’ but is most likely to encourage you to do whatever you want to do in life too

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me shall we date?#ngl i would date beel in this au 100%

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felikatze · 3 years

Text

Is Albedo a homunculus?

(of note: this post contains screenshots of Albedo's Story Quest, as well as his Character Details and Talents. I currently do not have his Character Story unlocked. So spoilers for that, obviously.)

Firstly, his banner, "Secretum Secretorum", is literally called "secret of secrets." Therefore his true identity might be, well, a secret.

During his Story Quest, Albedo repeatedly tries to confirm the traveler's "otherness." With the traveler, it's easy to understand, but Albedo also seperates himself from other people.

[ID: Albedo: "But a peculiar person... They don't have much recourse for the things we take for granted. The essence of their life is fundamentally different." /end ID]

[ID: Albedo, to the Traveler: "For example, A human can't understand the life of a Pyro Regisvine, or an Eye of the Storm. Have I explained it clearly enough?"

Traveler's response, first option: "I think I'm getting it."

Traveler's response, second option: "Still seems... like there's another layer of meaning to your words." /end ID]

Even the traveler is given the option to remark upon a layered meaning when Albedo speaks of how people relate to each other. Of my theory is correct, then he would be speaking from experience.

[ID: Albedo, musing to himself: "Those born of earth are bound by its imperfections, but those born of chalk are free of impurities... You and I are alike, both composed of a substance that has yet to be fully defined..." /end ID]

At the end of his Story Quest, "those born of chalk" most likely includes himself, especially since he directly compares himself to the traveler, whom he knows is otherworldly, as being made of an "undefined substance". This makes his title of "Chalk Prince" a bit more literal.

[ID: Albedo, staring into the distance: "If one day, I lose control... Destroy Mondstadt... Destroy everything..." /end ID]

He also mentions having to keep himself in check, otherwise some sort of calamity might occur. Furthermore, Rosaria appears to some degree aware of Albedo's true nature.

[ID: Rosaria, to the Traveler: "Before we go out seperate ways, Outlander, a word of advice. Don't be so quick to trust Albedo, and don't repeat the same mistake that you did this time. You made a lot of rash decisions today." /end ID]

Thus can be concluded that he might not be quite as human as he appears.

Additionally, his profile mentions that he suddenly appeared in Mondstadt, with a knowledge of alchemy that far outshines an esteemed academy.

[ID: An excerpt from Albedo's Character Details: "At least until one day Albedo suddenly appeared and decided to stay in Mondstadt. This young man displayed the true prowess of alchemy to all, bringing with him a massive corpus of wisdom that even the Sumeru Academia did not possess." /end ID]

How would he obtain knowledge lost to time? Either he is a genius who figured it all out by himself, though that is made more unlikely that Albedo does not like to be considered as such, or it was bestowed upon him by someone else. Creating life already sets a prerequisite of amazing knowledge of alchemy, so if he were to he created that way, his creator would need to be a master of the craft.

His ability and area of study, the origin and creation of life, would fit if he were an alchemical creation himself as well.

[ID: A part of Albedo's talent screen, showing a talent titled "Homuncular Nature." /end ID]

Lastly, the above screenshot is kinda self-explanatory, and also what caused this entire post.

Albedo is a homunculus, thank you and goodnight.

#Feli speaks #genshin impact #albedo #if i made spelling mistakes on those screenshot transcripts i'm going to scream #also i hope?? i formatted them at least somewhat correctly???#argh i tried to look formatting up but all i found was 'use image descriptions!' like thanks but WHAT should they look like #only the text is relevant so i only did the text i hope that's fine

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years

Text

here it is! the first part of UTCM!

wc: 4.8k

taglist | story masterlist

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

With clothes flying across the room, trying to make each article of clothing land in the target of a rectangle, you rummage through your closet, trying to find the specific piece of your most treasured clothing.

One that meant something special to you.

As you dig through your drawer, trying to find the thick, vintage tee your dad had given you (more like you stole it and never gave it back), your hand finally feels the familiar material that has brought you comfort and lots of compliments if you do say so yourself.

With a proud ‘bingo’ escaping your lips, you’re not surprised that it’s the only shirt you folded and gently put into your suitcase. You looked around your room, finding the hurricane of clothing sprawled out on the floor and your bikini top on your lap shade. Laughing a bit, you drop to your knees and begin to pick up your clothes, stuffing it into the suitcase.

You check the time and see that it’s five minutes to 9 AM and your phone rings on your bedside table, knowing you’re behind schedule. You quickly grab your phone, placing it between your shoulder and your ear, and continue grabbing your clothes.

“Yellow?”

“Honey, quit answering the phone like that.” You take the phone from your shoulder and put it at arms reach before sighing, knowing you should’ve looked at the caller ID.

“Hello, mother. How are you on this fine morning?” Your voice changes from playful to proper tone only to tease her.

“Oh, quit it. I was just calling to see if you were all packed and ready.”

“Yup!” You say confidently, looking around your room as it says otherwise. Obviously, packing wasn’t your greatest talent.

It was your best friend’s parent’s anniversary. Minny has informed you a month ago, knowing that you would procrastinate on packing, and to be fair, she was right. Packing wasn’t your favorite, and she knew that. Aww, my best friend knows me so well.

You and Minny have been best friends since you were 7. You two met at school and were in the same class. Because of the two’s last names being right next to each other on the roll call, you were assigned to sit right next to her. Throughout the years in school, you had always remained close. Sure, you two have met other people and became friends with them, but nothing came as close as the bond you have with her.

It was 20 years of eating at lunch together, never missing a day. Sleepovers. Day and night calls to gossip or vent. Laughs. Petty arguments. Crying over stupid boys and girls that broke your heart. Monthly ‘glo the fuck up’ day. Jogging in the park. Living life. And most importantly, love.

Damn, we’re getting old.

“I’m sad I can’t make it to Dan and Lina’s anniversary trip.” Your mother sighed over the phone.

Yours and Minny’s family had practically become one big family when you both turned 10. With occasional sleepovers and meet ups at the mall, your parents had become really great friends with hers.

“I know, Mom. But you practically see them everyday, so it’s fine. They understand why.” You try reasoning out with her.

“I hope so.” She sighs sadly on the phone, and it makes your heart hurt.

“They do understand. Trust me.”

“I wish you were here-” She immediately cuts off.

“Mom, I can go with you. I don’t have to go on Dan and Lina’s trip. Let me call Minny so I can tell her to not come by.”

“No, no!” You pause. “Please, don’t miss out on having fun for me. I want you to have fun. You deserve it.” You nod, even though she can’t see you. You check the time, and know you’re running out of time to finish packing.

“You deserve it too, Mom.” She doesn’t say anything, but you know she’s smiling on the other side of the call.

“Hey, Mom. I gotta go. Minny is almost here to pick me up, so I just wanna double check everything.”

“Of course, honey. I’ll call Lina later. Say hi to Minny for me. I love you.”

“Will do. I love you too.” The door knocks once you hang up the call. Curses scolding yourself for being so lazy and procrastinating fly from your lips as you get the door.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” The last person you were expecting was seeing your ex boyfriend on your doorstep with keys in his hand. He wore rust color corduroy pants, a stripe shirt, and a turquoise jacket that’s stitched on the side. His hair was pushed back by his black sunglasses and he was wearing his pearl necklace. You hate to admit that he looks good and can possibly rock anything he wore, and you despised him for that along with other reasons.

“Wow. No, hi or how are you Harry? I’m doing great, thanks for asking.” He says sarcastically and you roll your eyes, walking back to your room to finish packing. “Well, I see you’re still not that great with organizing your time, or your clothes.” You don’t say anything because you really don’t want to speak to him at the moment, or at all. “I’m assuming Minny didn’t tell you.” Your eyes perk up into confusion.

“Minny didn’t tell me what?” You ask, continuing to fold the last pair of clothes.

“She asked me to pick you up. You know, to take you to the lake house.” If it were possible, steam was coming out of your ears. Why hadn’t Minny told you? You huff loudly for Harry to know that you’re clearly annoyed before grabbing your phone and immediately dialing Minny’s number, and waiting for her to pick up.

Harry looks around your room, seeing as things haven't changed with you, and you want to kick him out as soon as you're done talking to Minny.

“Hey, girl! Are you on your way?” Her voice is high and she clearly is not prepared for what you’re about to give her.

“How can you have Harry pick me up? And why didn’t you tell me that you couldn’t pick me up?”

“Clearly, you’re the best at greeting people anymore.” Harry says, leaning against the door frame as he wears a smirk, and you immediately flick him off. He puts his hand on his chest with an exaggerated jaw drop, pretending to be offended.

“I’m so sorry. I meant to tell you, I promise. But my dumbass of a brother decided to come last minute because his plans got cancelled, and so we were all rushing out the door and putting everything in the car.” You hear Minny’s brother, Jackson, say ‘hey!’ and you sigh.

“It’s okay, I understand.” Not wanting to be annoyed anymore, you brush it off.

“I can find someone else to pick me up, no worries.” Harry raises his hands up as if he’s saying ‘I’m literally here to pick you up.’

“No! Just take the ride from Harry. After all, he is staying at the house too.” Your eyes widen.

“What?! Why would you invite him?”

“You know, you’re doing a lot of talking like I’m not here in the room right now.” You mouth ‘shut up’ to him.

“Please, just go with him. We’re almost there anyways and I don’t want you guys to be late because you want to be difficult. Just ride with him. It’s only like a 3 hour drive and you can sleep on the way, and then not talk to him for the rest of the trip.” She persuades.

Minny was always good at persuading people. In college, both of you were commuting from home and didn’t stay at the dorms, so you didn’t know that many people, especially not in the frat or sorority houses. She had convinced her parents that they needed a weekend to get out of the house and take a nice getaway trip, laying out the pros and cons so she can throw a party. And they really thought her pros outweigh the cons.

“Ugh! Okay, fine.”

“Thank you! Love you! Bye!” She gets off the phone quickly, and you turn to Harry.

“Shall we get on the road?” He smiles. You were finally finished with packing and rolled your luggage to the front, ignoring him. He comes out of your room with your bikini top in his hand, and your eyes widen, forgetting to take it from the lampshade. “Think you forgot this.” He holds it up and you snatch it quickly. And you’re both out the door and possibly going on the worst trip.

Two weeks and I’ll be home.

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Two hours down. One more to go.

The entirety of the car ride had been filled with awkwardness and silence. If music hadn’t been playing, you were sure you were going to explode. Harry had asked you if you were alright about a million times or if you were too hot or cold. You kept your responses to a minimum, replying with ‘yeah, I’m good’ or ‘I’m okay’. Harry was gripping the steering wheel so tight, that he was sure his hand would cramp up when he tried to unlatch. The tension and awkwardness was getting to him. He hated that things had ended up like this between the two of you, but he was willing to change that. He wants to change that.

“R. E. D.” He says suddenly after minutes of not talking, and just listening to the sound of the music and the engine of the car.

“Pardon?” You turn to face him.

“C’mon, you don’t remember the game we used to play when we would go on road trips?” He asks hopefully, looking at you quickly before turning his head back on the road.

Of course you remember. Hours on the road with him, going to the next destination when he was on tour or outside of the city to get away from everything, led you both to play road trip games that included saying 3 random letters and finding it on a license plate. It’s what made traveling fun and the hours on the road much more interesting. Especially with Harry.

“Yeah, I remember.” You say softly, not showing emotion.

“Okay, well, start looking.”

“You weren’t very good at this game.” You say, but quickly close your mouth, not realizing that you’re thinking out loud.

And Harry’s surprised. He knows that your comment was a teasing one, and he was worried that he would t get a single sentence out of your mouth without you yelling in his face. “I’m very good at this game!”

“I mean, considering that my board was filled with tallies, then I would think you’re bad at it.” You let out a chuckle and Harry has a big smile on his face, thinking it’ll hurt his cheeks later on.

“You literally gave me impossible letters to work with!”

“They’re license plates, not people’s names!” You tease.

“Just look for R.E.D!” He ends the conversation. Although he didn’t want to, he knew that you’re most likely going to blow up in his face if you two acted like a happy couple again. He knew that you would overthink about the bad things overlapping the good, and you would go back to resenting him.

And he was right.

After he ended the conversation, you were thinking about what could’ve been between you; what could still be if he weren’t an asshole. The laughs and teasing you two had just a minute ago were replaced with deep breaths, not knowing if one of you should say a thing again.

There were only a few cars on the same road for you; going to different places. You wondered if people going on a road trip had the same situation with you and Harry: the sharp tension that can be cut like a knife or wanting to jump out of the car.

You must have blanked out for a while because Harry had gotten off the highway and onto a secluded street that leads to the lake house.

The drive through the woods with high boulders and tall trees had you speechless. You got as close to the window as possible, looking up like you’ve just seen a shooting star. Nature has always been such a fascination to you. You’ve always loved camping trips and hiking; so much that you’re currently an environmental scientist.

You don’t notice with your head practically sticking out the window, but Harry is having such a hard time keeping his eyes on the road. He thinks that it’s admirable how passionate you are, especially about nature and animals because it’s rare that people end up doing what they love. And he loves seeing you so passionate about what you love.

The drive surrounded by the forest didn’t take long; about 20 minutes, and Harry had already pulled up into the gravel driveway in front of the lake house.

The famous lake house that Lina and Dan have owned for 30 years; ever since they got married. It was a rather large lake house; able to fit two families of four. With brown wood hammered onto the sides and evergreen border along the windows, the house was generally very comfortable and homey. They had kept renovating throughout the years to keep up with the times changing, and they’re loving how modern it looks as of now, but very welcoming at the same time.

“Well, we’re finally here.” Harry says, cutting off the ignition and getting out of the car. You do the same as well and meet him where the truck is popped open, Harry grabbing his bags. You went to reach for it, but Harry slaps your hand away.

“Hey!”

“Don’t worry about the bags. I got them.”

“Thanks.” You give him a soft smile.

“And besides, you’ve packed for like a month when we’re gonna be here for two weeks, and you were barely able to carry it out of your house.” He teases.

“For a matter of fact, I happen to be very strong.” You cross your arms.

“Okay, whatever you say, Captain.” The pet name slipped out. When you and Harry were together, he started calling you Captain because sometimes you can be so aggressive and demanding, but passionate, that it felt like you were the Captain of the ship, which technically you were. You were always in charge, always right, and always planning everything. Captain just stuck, and he thought it was so perfect for you.

The pet name had definitely startled you. You haven’t heard that name come from his lips in forever. And admittingly, you missed it. But you don’t tell him that, of course.

Harry notices your shock and just smiles instead of pushing it. He instead walks towards the car once his hands are full.

“Hey, Harry?” He could’ve sworn that his head got jumbled up at your call for him because of how fast he turned around.

“Yes?”

“R.E.D.” You pointed towards Minny’s car with a smirk on your face. Harry looks at her license plate and his jaw drops, but you see the corners of his lips turn up.

“How did you-”

“You think I don’t know my best friend’s license plate when she’s had this car for 4 years?” Your smile is amusing and Harry has missed this side from you.

“Well done.” He drops the bags and starts clapping.

“Make sure to mark my tally.” You walk past him and towards the house. Harry turns around, watching you walk. Specifically landing his eyes on your hips and watching them sway like you own the fucking world. It’s endearing and he loves it. He loves how sometimes you can walk the whole universe and own it, but he always loves how you shy away from things and look for reassurance. He loves it.

You don’t turn around because with the smile and hint of blush that crept onto your face, it’s bound to be a disaster if he sees it.

“Aye, aye, Captain.” He chuckles before picking up the bags and following your footsteps.

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

The inside of the house was opposite of what it looked like from the outside. While the outside was rustic and dark looking, the inside was light and provided very much needed natural lighting due to the big window that overlooks the lake. Sun shines bright through the window and into the house that it almost hurts to look out, but that’s Mother Nature at her finest.

You head up to your usual bedroom that you claimed when you were younger, having taken trips to this house for so many years that your feet just subconsciously took you to your room.

It remained the same: big window that led to a small balcony, wooden frame bed, and a mattress that is the perfect size and comfort for you. The walls were white, and with the light coming through, it made the room look even bigger.

Usually you and Minny would sleep in the same room, but there were enough rooms so you two can have your own. But there were some nights where you would spend the night with her, and her, you.

You hadn’t noticed Harry following you to your room, but when you hear bags drop onto the floor, you jump and turn around. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to. Thought you heard me following you.”

“No, I didn’t. I was just distracted with my thoughts.”

Harry leans against the door frame and crosses his arms. “What about?” He asks curiously.

“Just… haven’t been here in a while, and I miss it.” He only nods, and it quickly goes back to silence. “Thank you for bringing my bags up.” This time, he smiles.

“Not a problem. Let me know if you need anything else, Captain.” You chuckle.

“Will do.” He leaves your room and shuts the door close, knowing you’d probably want to settle in and change into more lounge clothing.

You sit on your bed, facing the window, and look out at the lake. You don’t know what you’re feeling. Before you saw him today, you would just get mad that you’re thinking about him, but that car ride broke every anger that clung onto your body. It was like your mind naturally reacted to Harry in a way that you couldn’t control. You can control anything else, but not with Harry. You naturally felt a pull towards him, and no matter how much you wanted to cut off the string you couldn’t.

You had definitely missed the feeling of being around him, and that makes you angry. Angry at yourself because he hurt you.

You try not to cry with the thoughts swirling in your head. You take in the beautiful view from your bedroom and tell yourself that you shouldn’t be sad because you’ve got a long trip ahead of you.

As you changed into your lounge clothes, you headed downstairs to greet the family that was just back from the backyard.

“Oh, sweetheart! I’m so happy you’re here!” Lina greets you with a warm hug. Dan does the same, giving you a bear hug.

“Happy anniversary! How are you guys?” You ask the married couple.

“We’re doing great! I’m excited this time has come again! We’ve got so much planned.” You smile at their excitement. They turned to look at each other and you can’t help but admire their love for one another, even after all these years.

Yours and Minny’s parents’ love was like no other. You were pretty blessed to grow up around healthy relationships, and can’t help but feel so fond of the love they have for each other and wanting it for yourself.

“The kids are still outside.” Lina kisses your cheek and Dan pats your shoulder before they head to the kitchen.

You walk through the glass slide door that leads to the stunning view of the water that the sun reflects onto. You take a deep inhale in, breathing in the world’s scent. The outside is such a beauty that some people take it for granted.

“Ahh!” The famous screams come from no other than Minny. “You’re here!” She runs to you and you engulf her into a big and hard hitting hug. Jackson also hugs you and runs his hand on top of your head, messing up your hair.

“Dickhead!” You slap his chest.

“How are you, other little sister?”

“Oh, you know, here.” You say, not knowing what to say, so ‘here’ is usually your backup for not really wanting to say how you feel.

Minny rolls her eyes, knowing you all too well for your liking. “How was the drive?”

“It was…interesting.”

“Well, that’s my cue to go.” Jackson walks back to the house, and leaves Minny and I to talk.

“Was it that bad?” Minny asks worriedly.

“No, it wasn’t bad. It was just awkward and there was tension between us. But then we started playing our famous road trip game and I started teasing him, and ugh! I smiled and laughed a little and I hated it.” You huffed and looked down.

“What, why?”

“I-I don’t know. I just… I was expecting to have the worst trip when he showed up at my doorstep, but my mind is taking over.”

“Your mind or your heart?” Minny tests. You don’t reply. You just look at her, not knowing if she genuinely wanted a response or she was just testing you.

“Why did you invite him?” You ask at the wrong time because you don’t hear the sliding door open, revealing Harry.

“Hey, Minny.” He smiles softly at her and steps out of the house to hug her. Your breath was hitched in your throat, feeling guilty about your question because you didn’t hear him.

“Hey, Harry.” She smiles back and hugs him. Once they let go of their embrace, Harry turns to you.

“If you don’t want me here so bad, then the Captain shall be obeyed.” He teases, but you know that he’s more hurt than what he puts on. He puts on a brave face, but really you see it in his eyes that he’s hurt. You know that your question had hurt him and it was just the wrong timing to ask that.

“I didn’t mean it like that…”

“Didn’t you?” His head turns slightly, knowing he’s trying to keep his annoyance intact. His voice is different and sarcastic. Minny senses the shift of tension, so she breaks it.

“I invited him because he’s been my friend as long as you have, so he’s practically family too. He’s been to every trip as well, and besides, my parents love him.” She places her arm on Harry’s shoulder, and you can’t help but feel like they’re teaming up against you. Harry walks ahead of us and goes inside while you and Minny trail behind him. You know you shouldn’t think of it like that because they’re not, but you feel like such a downer once you found out that Harry was tagging along. “Let’s go in and eat lunch!” Minny changes the subject, feeling like that’s what they really needed. “By the way, which letters did he ask for?” Minny asks.

“R.E.D,” you smile amusingly and roll your eyes, giving your best friend the ‘I know right?’ look. She laughs loudly, throwing her head back and clutching her stomach.

“Well that was an easy win for you.” She says and you nod, before putting an arm around your shoulder, walking inside the house for lunch.

Lina had prepared salad, homemade garlic bread, Brussel sprouts, and mashed potatoes. Dan had cooked his famous ribs, one that was his specialty ever since he was a young adult. They didn’t want to cook right when they got to the house, so they prepared it beforehand and took it with them.

The six sat down at the table that was set in front of the window. Dan at the end of the table, Lina on his right, Minny right next to Lina, you on the other end, Harry next to you, and Jackson next to Harry. Everyone was loading food on their plates before passing it around or across the table, Lina making sure everyone got one of each.

“Alright, eat up!”

The conversation flowed throughout the table. The parents asked the kids how work was going, to which everyone responded that it was going well.

“Harry, honey, is your mom and sister planning to stay as well?” Lina asks.

Harry clears his throat and wipes his mouth before replying, “they might come at the end of the week—probably the weekend. Gems couldn’t get out of work, so they’ll only stay for a few days.” She nodded and turned to you.

“Has your mother changed her mind? About coming?” She gives you a sympathetic look.

“I don’t think so. She said she would call you later.” Lina smiles at that. Your eyes naturally gravitated towards Harry and he has a confused look on his face looking back at you, but you look down at your plate before picking up your ribs and taking a bite out of them.

You listen to the conversation while you eat; Dan telling the table a story about a cliff diving incident that happened to Lina when they were in Greece, and the whole table was laughing their ass off, even though they’ve heard it a million times; it never gets old.

You finished your rib and set it down on your plate before wiping your hands down, and before you went to wipe your lips, you felt a napkin, one that’s not yours, wipe your cheek. You turn and see Harry trying to get the stained sauce from your skin.

“Thank you.” You say awkwardly once he’s done, and he gives you a smile followed by a chuckle. He didn’t mean to do that. He knew you were a messy eater and it was a habit that he wiped stuff off your face. A habit that worked well for the both of you, like you were a team. A natural born team.

Once everyone was finished with lunch, it was nearing 2 p.m already, and the group decided to split and do whatever they please as they were going to be all together tomorrow and the rest of the trip.

After everyone helped clean up the table and kitchen, you decided to take a nap before watching the sun set for the day.

Your body hit the mattress and soft pillows that made you feel like you were on a cloud. The room was dark, thanks to the thick curtains that hung from the metal rod. The only light that was shown was a strip of it coming from the curtain not being able to close all the way. You snuggled your pillow, happy you’re finally getting some rest after a long day.

When you woke up, it was still light out, but not as sunny as it was prior to your nap. You stretched your limbs out, relieving the feeling of any tense muscles from your sleep, and walked downstairs and to the backyard.

“Good nap?” Harry says from the lawn chair that is set on the grass. You rub your eyes, nodding while closing the sliding door. There’s a vacant seat next to him, and you’re not quite sure if you want to sit next to him or watch the sun disappear when your feet are in the water. “Want to sit here?” He asks as if he read your mind.

“I-”

“I can see that you’re debating if you want to sit next to me or not, so I can leave and you can sit here if you want.” He says, and you feel bad a bit. He already thinks that you don’t want him here, and he’s simply here for Lina and Dan.

“It’s okay. You can stay. I’m just going to go by the water.” He only nods and you walk away.

The water softly hits the shore and you feel the coldness of it hit your feet. It’s refreshing and cooling, hoping it’ll cool down your nerves and your mood.

You cross your arms as you watch the sun slowly begin to set. The fascination you have with the sun is like no other. It reminds you of the feeling of hope and a new beginning; how the sun setting resembles the end of a story, a day. And tomorrow is a new day.

You can’t help but think about your situation with Harry and how it’s hypocritical to be talking about a new story when you’ve been clinging onto his story. You feel a little stressed keeping the grudge and anger towards him bottled up because he hurt you bad, but you’re also still in love with him.

As the sky turned from light to dark, you turned around to go inside, and to see if Harry was still sitting on the chair. But when you’re walking away from the water and towards the house, you see the chair empty, and you don't know why you have a sad feeling in your chest.

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