#so i feel like ive been waiting FOREVER

[despite-everything]

got a text from the car shop earlier saying my car would be fixed within a few hours. its been several hours and im trying not to compulsively check my phone

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

some misc Barn & Wally doodles from the past week or so <3 i heart them

[haahka]

i cant wait til non kills them all :))))))))))

[famewolf]

speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

[possiblytracker]

coughs loudly. scheduling this post for slightly later today so i have time to get lunch and not chicken out before it goes up

firstly i gotta apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. in hindsight it was creeping up on me for a long time I just didn't think anything of it/had enough stuff going on to ignore it for a while, but ive been wrestling with pretty abysmal mental health that just kinda hit me like a truck back in august. i wont get too much into it but things just ground to a halt and in the span of a week or so it legitimately felt like i stopped being a Person- i just stagnated, felt like i lost the ability and will to do anything or enjoy things or create like i used to, all my energy went into keeping it together in front of my family, and it made me way too anxious and ashamed and guilty to want to show my face. like who would want to put up with my stupid bullshit, right (wrong! that idea just made me unbelievably worse and i regret it extremely, but my anxiety was going extremely unchecked at this time). i don't think i've ever been that depressed before and i didn't at all know how to handle it or begin to claw my way out

fortunately, a combination of getting exercise + touching grass regularly and new enrichment/hyperfixations to latch onto like an orphaned duckling are very recently kicking some life back into me so to speak. who wouldve thought. and now where i used to still feel stomach-turning dread and paranoia thinking about getting back on tumblr and discord a week or two ago, it finally feels like i can handle dipping my toes back in. i'm making this post first bc i know most of my friends will see it, and that feels less taxing than explaining myself a bunch of different times over and over and dragging it out, but ofc i will try and get back into conversation when and as i can (askbox and discord is still best to reach me if you wanted). i'm just really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, for making you worry or otherwise

i'm not sure what to do from here (i'm considering maybe moving main blogs to a clean slate eventually? this one will still be here i couldnt bear to get rid of it, i've just had it since i was 16 there's Baggage attached) but i'll be trying to ease my way back into relative normalcy before doing anything big ofc. in the meantime i will be vaguely floating around here again. see you around and thank you for your time..

[fivefeetfangirl]

giving you this honorary badge as soon as you are finished

putting this on my resume <3 although i am so so NOT WELL

[carrotpiss]

🐰🧡🐻

[asummersday]

clearly the only way im getting chapter 2 out is by being more stubborn than my procrastination. i've decided that i WILL post it tonight.

i am very good at being stubborn. it's also 11pm and i have uhhh ~3 (??) scenes to write. plus editing. current WC is 5k.

[skyllion-uwu]

Wow isn't it funny how I made two of my antagonists unhealthily attached to the main character they used to be friends with before they destroyed that relationship? Wonder if that says anything about me

[dykedragons]

i love making things for my friends!! i love it when my friends enjoy the things i make them!!!!!

[1980ssunflower]

god how are my husbands the most amazing men in the world

[extervus]

This past week has felt like a million fucking years. Fuck's sake

[mrs-kelly]

Feels like I’m not gonna stop gushing about him until I go to sleep. I mean I told you I missed him all day and I’m not kidding shfjfl

[chewablepebbles]

I've literally been going to at least one funeral of someone close to me every year since 2016 this is unsustainable! Do I make friends so quickly because I fear they'll leave so soon? I have like five hundred pounds of stuff from people that died and I can't get rid of it because I can't get new stuff with them. I'm so tired of being used to grief. When do I get to grieve for myself!

[bitchfitch]

bathroom floor is about 70% tiled now. the thinset needs time to finish drying finish drying before the last row is put in and grout is laid down. once that's done the shower walls will be tiled and then the cabinets, sink, toilet, and fixtures will be installed. and then the bathroom will Finally be done. The rest of the apartment just needs the 40+y/o carpet ripped up and replaced with faux wood, the walls painted, the outlets and switches replaced (to get everything up to code) and the new lighting fixtures to go in. and then the whole kitchen needs ripped out due to mold but I'm trying to not think about that. tldr another big step has been made towards me finally getting to move into the new apartment and I'm very excited about it.

[pepprs]

omg i can’t tag more than 5 ppl in the replies of my post abt getting the job but thank u all so much 🥹💗