#so i felt bad about sharing
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Reposting u/U_n_d_e_r_s_c_o_rr's post from reddit to clarify the rankings right now for those of us who are confused
#to be hero x#tbhx#oh this makes the ocd thing scarier to me#He's Not Even Top 10 Yet...#tbh i already saw someone talk about this but it was in a discord#so i felt bad about sharing#tbhx nice#rare moment where i main tag a lot but ik this was kinda confusing us lmao#y'know lowkey. did they just kick nice out of his floor temporarily until he got his trust rank back up#like i'm realizing that i think that's what happened earlier#anyways i wanna say that the 2 looking like a 0 could be foreshadowing for queen#but i think it's kinda just stupid stylization#it could be both actually
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Hello! Can do a chapter fic off this fic prompt Danny phantom x dc: https://www.tumblr.com/corkinavoid/767516270934556672/dpxdc-legal-power?source=share
This isn’t a one-to-one recreation of that dialogue but it’s based on that as a framework/premise
Batman dropped down into the room behind a pair of figures—a teenage boy and a slumped adult—letting his landing create an audible thump to alert them of his presence.
If the teen noticed, he didn’t react. Even as Bruce approached, he continued to stare impassively at the wheezing figure on the ground, an old wooden bat with flaking green paint on its side loosely held in his right hand. Bruce had already suspected who the figure would be since he arrived, but seeing the Joker so broken was still bizarre. No laughing, no schemes. He didn’t even seem to be attempting to escape his binds, just… lying there, almost as if pinned in place.
Bruce paused a step behind the teen. “I don’t know what the Joker did to you, but this isn’t the right way to go about this.”
The teen scoffed, and Bruce felt a painful lurch in his chest as he was reminded oh so strongly of his son Jason. “And what, let him go kill more people?”
“I know he deserves to face justice, but not like this. Everyone deserves a right to fair trial. No one person should be judge, jury, and executioner.”
The teen turned to look at him with glowing green eyes, and Batman felt himself freeze. He had faced gods before, yet even using that as a comparison felt like an understatement. The boy’s eyes belonged to someone far older than his teenage form implied, and they radiated power. Inevitability.
When the teen—no, the entity—spoke again, his words carried an unearthly echo. “Perhaps, but I’m not acting for just myself.” He paused, glanced down at the Joker, then asked almost conversationally, “Do you know how many people he’s killed?”
Another pause, but before Bruce could even try to answer, the entity continued, “Eight hundred and fifty-six. He’s ended the lives of eight hundred and fifty-six human souls. I can tell you about every single one, if you want. About who they were, what their dreams were before he killed them. About the pain they felt at his hands.”
He punctuated the word ‘pain’ by raising up the wooden bat in his hands and ramming its end down onto the Joker’s arm. He let out a wheeze, muffled by the gag in his mouth.
“I have a duty to my people. I am the King of the In-Between and of all the souls that pass through it—even ones whose stays were as brief as his. I am the rightful arbiter of his fate. And with that power, I sentence him to death.”
He raised the bat again, adjusting his grip so he’d hit with the side rather than the end this time, then paused and let out a chuckle. “Of course, just because it’s based on some justice doesn’t mean I can’t have a bit of fun with it too.” He swung the bat down, slamming it into the Joker’s side, then hooked it under the clown’s torso and flicked him up through the air to slam into the wall. “We all really hate this guy.”
With the entity’s attention fully turned away from him as he sauntered towards the Joker’s slumped figure, Bruce could finally unfreeze himself.
Even if the Ghost King did have the right to pass judgement on Joker, Bruce still couldn’t let torture go on like this. He wouldn’t win a direct fight, but he could hopefully at least grab the Joker and bring him over to the police. Carefully, he reached for some of the smoke bombs and batarangs on his belt and readied his grapple. He’d have to do this very, very fast.
But before he could move, another figure entered the scene. Red Hood, emerging from the shadows on the far side of the room, an unexpected bit of a pep to his step.
“Nice to see someone else who gets that that bastard needs to die. But if I may make a suggestion, how ‘bout you use a crowbar instead of that old bat? It’d be a bit more… fitting.”
#asks#prompt fill#btw about that kill count number - the dc wiki page on “Joker’s body count” said two numbers 671+ and 185+ (for different continuities?)#so i just added those two together to get a plausible-ish –feeling exact value for “671+”#danny fenton kills the joker#ghost king danny fenton#also i know Bruce is sorta the antagonist here but I’m trying my best to present him fairly#a vigilante having a code against killing people is a good thing! right to fair trial is important!#yeah the Joker probably should be executed but I don’t think Bruce is a bad person for not doing it himself#the legal system exists!! why are you asking the extrajudicial vigilante who specifically has a no-kill rule to do it??#i feel like Joker getting sentenced to death would be the “logical” end to the situation; the Joker is gone and Batman’s code is intact#(you know. were it “real life” and not a comic with the whole “we’re not gonna kill off someone that iconic!” thing)#and also him planning to step in against Danny isn’t about “the joker has to live” it’s about “torture is wrong”#he’s (cautiously) believing of the “legal right” part so if they showed the legal sentence and executed him “cleanly” he’d be fine#(obviously he supports reforming criminals but in the Joker’s case I think he’d accept a fair trial saying “death” as okay)#or in other words Batman isn’t pro-life; he’s pro-choice(-by-the-courts) (/hj)#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom x dc#danny phantom x dc crossover#dpxdc the joker#dpxdc bruce wayne#dpxdc jason todd#also btw i’m sorry danny’s words are so pretentious/OOC feeling (well. at least to me they are)#it feels awkward to me too but it felt kinda necessary to match the vibe of the original thing#maybe he’s sorta sharing his thoughts with some judicial-y ghosts or etc who are influencing it#i did specifically want to imply the victims are affecting him at least a little (echoey voice + “*we* hate him”)#or maybe he’s just been King for a long while and has had time to get a bit more “kingly”
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girlbossing too close to the sun.
#art#ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator#i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books#vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading#ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working#let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny..#posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned.#morrowind#almalexia#vivec#im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment#so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized#it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor#and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result#i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was#vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking#acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention#like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is#but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc#anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving#but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials#and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc#so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize#and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough#the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right#that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things#and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that#important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree#oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad.#tes
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Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
#kh#kingdom hearts#sora#sora kh#replica riku#repliku#my art#i drew this just a bit after i finished sora's route in com and started reverse/rebirth. back in march#it's been actual months but every time i think about repliku i hit the thousand-yard stare#and am overwhelmed with so many thoughts and emotions#and his interactions with sora like???!!#“you've never cared about how i felt!” and he runs off tears running down his face like a heartbroken lover?!#and then you don't! see him! he refuses to fight!#next time you see him is about the meteor shower promise and like.#sora claims that he is the one who swore to protect [namine]. repliku makes the same claim#namine didn't invent this memory. it's one they had before. one they shared#namine nor kairi were the promiser/promisee since they weren't on the islands. so it had to have been between sora and riku#or idk. maybe sora and selphie just have this super unexplored complex relationship (kidding)#(that's not even TOUCHING on the charm/necklace situation#nor how sora's memories involved both riku and kairi being overwritten so he starts mixing things up ETC ETC)#and then! at the end of sora's route! right before repliku leaves#he sees that sora returns his feelings and he hits the “take care of kairi” smile#AND THEN HE FUCKING GOES OFF TO KILL RIKU#HE WANTS WHAT THE “REAL” RIKU AND SORA HAVE SO BAD!!!!#and !!! this is AFTER the namine lobotomization#even when he believes he made the promise to namine. even when he is told sora is his enemy. he's STILL like this#his memories/feelings aren't real but seeing that sora cared for him was “good enough” for him??#SORA WAKE UP!! riku's crazy just totally head over heels in love with you!!!#ANYWAY when i was drawing this i was listening to a mamas & papas compilation cd#tip: if you want to cry really hard just listen to 'dream a little dream of me' while thinking about soriku
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hi Emma! Who do you consider your friends do you have a crush on anybody?
" For crushes... "
#ITS SO SO FUNNY HOW MUCH PAIRINGS FIT MELLY? i felt like i needed to draw her as the greed talked about in the bible#AND MELLY POTENTIALLY KNOWING WENDY FOOTE BEFORE THE MANOR? omg... im so excited to see their lore#2022 me would be so sad emmamelly is not bros otp no more#NOT THAT EMMAMELLY IS BAD AND GONE heh.#swaytura on the mind though u feel#idv#identity v#emma woods#identity v gardener#survivor ask blog#idv gardener#ask emma woods#identity v ask blog#mentions:#melly plinius#wendy foote#give her like 20 seconds before she crushes again trust#a moment to talk about ships:#I dont got a defined crush/relationship for Emma! I love all her ships ^^ it's so silly to see other peoples portrayals and hcs#I started off shipping Emma and Melly because of garden scenarios and how they'd share a mutual bond through their nature expertise#Tracy and Emma are one of my OG ships too! super cute! From gears to plants they both have their own parallels to learn from eachother#when I first started this blog I used to talk to this Mun and they started sending me Emma and Naib artworks!#my goodness their excitement was contagious ^^! I hope theyre doing alright.#To that one Kurt/Servais and Emma shipper I see you! the pairings are super calming and I think itd be interesting to explore their past!#Someone posted Lucky x Emma here too and heh.. I totally get you. theyd get into such shenanigans together and they seem sweet!#Then I've been seeing alot of Norton and Emma recently on tiktok! Theres this one artist that draws them in such silly scenarios#But everytime I think about shipping them I get flashbacks to a minecraft server with nortnaib and i feel like damn... betrayal </3#how could i do that to my nortnaib besties#Then when playing with my friend on IDV I noticed they had Mary and Emma room pictures and yknow what? go queen#hcs are very much appreciated :) maybe when i open asks again i'd love to hear everyones thoughts.
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The power of fluffy chefs shines within you!
#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#dr spoilers#dr chapter 3#ralsei#i wanted to draw him in one of his little outfits so bad#also hi!!#i haven't posted here in...years#I've been drawing again lately and I've been going back and forth on posting it on this blog again#bc like#most of you followed me for the tumblr fandom flag project#which was finished over a decade ago#and i felt like i was only posting what felt like my best work on here#like it was a professional portfolio#but i wanna draw just to be me!#and i want to share it!#and i worry about being annoying#but if I'm annoying!!#you can just unfollow!!!#so yeah!!!!#i even considered making a poll about whether i should post my lil arts on here as i learn to draw for fun again#but like?? who would vote telling me to stop my blog?? instead of just unfollowing my blog????#so yeah!!!!!#I'm back!!!!!!#and i'm CONFIDENT now!!!#(dear god i'm trying)#stick around if you want some good art and bad art and fun art and cliche art and whatever else i feel like making#and I WILL be reblogging my art now sometimes!!#because I'm proud of what i made!!#and you're gonna look at it!!!
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Thinking about this Nevermoor postcard from a 2017 Owlcrate Jr. box today…
#today and tomorrow and forever because I love it#nevermoor#nevermoor merch#nevermoor art#no new news to share unfortunately folks. hopefully there will be soon!!#just found this the other day and felt like sharing to have something here <3#no link because AFAIK this not resold anywhere. I wish it was. I want it sooooo bad#the box it came in was when nevermoor released so on the other side is a letter talking a little bit about the inspirations of nevermoor <3#picture is not mine it’s from a blog called ‘hellosubscription’ that gives me too many ads to navigate#I do not have a good camera or space to take pictures of merch typically 😅
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i think of all jrwi characters, the one most different in my brain from canon is jay ferin
in my head she’s buff & meaty, she’s got curly hair, her outfit’s a little different, more accessories, she has freckles, more green-blueish eyes, full lips, rounder face, her shoulders are always sunburned, etc etc
#jay ferin ive oc-ified you i think#like dakota cole is black to me#and yet jay ferin. escaped canon into my mind#i need to draw her so bad so i can share my vision#jay is the hottest woman alive and chip is also there#idc what grizz or charlie say tritons HAVE TAILS AND THEYRE IMPORTANT#post isnt even about that but i felt the need to mention it#gillion with no tail is haunting to me#anyway back to jay#i love her forever shes so cool#so excited for my pirate wife to return home this september#very ready for her fucked sapphic pirate adventure with lizzie#jrwi riptide#jay ferin#finch favourites
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[sits up suddenly from my coffin] anybody fuck with my super danganronpa 2 x guy who didnt like musicals au
#i dont post my art for several months and then i return. back into danganronpa once again. and actively combining it with my other interests#for fun and whimsy.#sdr2#nagito komaeda#super danganronpa 2#danganronpa 2#hajime hinata#chiaki nanami#robin draws#anyways other than returning to danganronpa ive just been drawing ocs so i havent had much to share#yes thats ibuki vaguely in the bg she gets to be chiakis boss#sonia gets to be zoey so that she gets to control a helicopter and point a gun at hajime and chiaki#obv things have to be shifted around and changed for them to make sense in their roles but i think hajime as paul is the most#untouched one bc thats just early game hajime where he's freaking out about the fuckass island and how weird everything is#fuyuhiko gets to effectively be the role of bill with peko as alice but obv theyre not a father/daughter dynamic for this au#its altered. to fit Them. and their whole deal they got going on.#maybe fuyuhiko had tried to tell peko to leave and go live her own life but she came back for him and then. Oopsies. join the hive#gundham as professor hidgens would be so fucking funny. you must understand. instead of an alexa he's talking to his devas.#nagito tbh would work as professor hidgens but i made him fill mr. davidsons role for the sole fact of his song being the effective#“i want” song and that just felt too right to pass up#kazuichi fills the role of ted and he's mad that hajime didnt bring sonia#mikan filling charlottes role. junko is sam. i dont think i have to explain further. obv junko isnt a cop thats altered to fit her.#also no ted charlotte affair for this kaz has his eyes set on sonia and only sonia still and mikan has her beloved :)#also i just wanted mikan to have “join us (and die)” bc ogoghgoghgho thats one of my fav songs#greenpeace girl gets to be mahiru cause the personality just feels right.#imposter is Everywhere. i wanted to stick them in a designated role so bad but tbh they're just always there in a diff disguise#anyway im done tag rambling i've been brewing this in my brain for like a week.#feel free to let me know if i was cooking or not and offer ur own ideas and thoughts
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out and about in various locations collecting pretty views. 🌾
#picking ten pics from these last outings was diabolical but#been up and down the south and north shore lately#just as many ticks up north as south too 😵💫#haven’t been to crane beach since 2020 drove there to see the sun come up#I have a photographer’y friend on insta who loves that area and would post snowy owl pics on that beach so I got obsessed with going#didn’t see any that time but I randomly think about that beach maybe I’ll go back this fall/winter to try again#parked outside the gate and walked in the dark through that whole road and then ran the huge parking lot#I thought about this time while driving in and l'd be so scared to do that now it's kind of a long walk helloooo#was fucking beautiful though that morning is a nice memory#saw a what looked like a full moon or close to that setting too by accident#think that's what drove the obsession to hunt down all the next ones forever actually haha#the amount of people and esp bugs on the beaches up north is abhorrent#this one time at a beach in gloucester got attacked by bugs SO badly and brought 20000 home in the car#caught an insane storm though and built sand castles#that’s summer though I got bug attacked on a beach down the cape once so bad#was literally running in slow motion in the thick ass sand and losing hp point every step felt like a horror movie scene#not happy about all the bugs and people in summer I love an empty beach and nature spot#anyways been all around lately burning miles up mostly new spots but some familiarish ones too#even saw some tourist type shit wednesday hahah#thursday was such a longggg hot day felt changed by the end of it and all the driving but tacos helped#why do I feel kinda weird posting stuff here hopefully that goes away lol#wouldn’t be able to catch up anyway I’ve taken so many pics and had much happen it’s ok to just idk not share them too#just always been a place to store photos like a diary to look back at that’s why I do it but also the break showed me it’s ok not to#gave me a lot of breathing room idk#I’m more relaxed with all that and my energy I extend on things I guess I dunno#but here’s some tidbits I guess it was rly hard to pick ten#mine#nature#new england
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wrote out plans and stared at my calendar, putting my hands together and mutter a quiet "you do need a break"
#i am#insanely bad at time management#ive been actively burnt out since 2025 i think#i have the mindset and ideas as the 19 y/o me but energy and productivity of late 20s#meaning. my current hands and energy can't keep up the expectations and hype of the better past me#but both of me hope. and that's where it's going downhill#LMAO#I talked with my mom#very hard talk. lots of tears involved. but I just gotta work harder#its a weird feeling bcuz im actively sabotaging and healing myself what the hell man#really /really/ need to shake off the guilt of doing nothing and the habit of doing everything so i don't feel like im lagging behind#it feels like im being swallowed every day#idk what doing but i know what im doing#im self aware but im not enough#GRAH#long story short. im going to FORCE MYSELF to let go a few things and take shit one step at a time#AND STOP. JOINING. MORE. OBLIGATIONS.#burnt the contract and prob pissed off my boss but we balling#i think i just dont want to feel#dont want everything to catch up#but that just leads to accumulation and when i do stop and pause everything just crash over#with an intensity that i cannot bear but have to sit it through#being in 20s is weird....i thought it would be easier...in same capacity it is but other times no....#doesn't help with the *gesture* current state of things too#im sorry i dont mean to vent but. im. idk just felt like sharing#to more people than i should bcuz duh its gomz#ASDHGK#anyways i will now forget about this by inhaling my sushi plate#having inari set :3#gummmyspeaks
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theres probably someone whos already pointed this out, but anyway
so when in niko and edwin are in the gift shop by the lighthouse in episode 4 (??) theres a table with some dolls on it. and one of these dolls is a baby doll and when edwin sees it he looks at it with disgust (if i remember correctly) and turns the head away from himself. and that has got to be connected to him being tortured by a disgusting baby doll spider creature for 70 years, or at least thats what i think.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#edwin paine#dead boy detectives spoilers#??#i just thought about when i was in the shower and felt like sharing it#please stream this show#i need a second season so bad
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it makes me insane when people think south is 100% in the wrong in the set your trackers scene because

SHES DOING STEALTH NORTH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN TALK TO YOU.
just. like. why do so many people take the directors word at face value on the fact that south was the one who fucked up there. we KNOW that pfl was actively manipulating her. why would their judgement in this situation be the objective truth.
and i’ll acknowledge that the narrative itself isn’t doing her any favors. but. read between the lines.
south is DEFINITELY over confident but she’s saying that setting her trackers “takes too long”. and it sucks bc we don’t actually know what “setting your trackers” entails. north tells south the next patrol is in 20 seconds and she seems confident she’ll be gone before then. and south is good at stealth. she fucking. fully trouble in terrorist towns a guy with his friend like 6 feet away. she was above north on the leaderboard before this mission! she knows what she’s doing. if “setting your trackers” takes a few seconds and she’s only got 20 then like. yeah, maybe she’s right! maybe setting them genuinely would have taken too long and gotten her caught! it’s definitely a risk but i don’t think it’s fair to assume it’s not one that she calculated and determined to be the best course of action.
and with her asking “what’s the time” i think it’s very fair to assume that pfl is asking them to work as quickly as possible with these things. if she had taken her time would she have gotten admonished for that? is that why north was below her in the first place? “taking risks” seems to be incredibly rewarded by pfl. or at least, they are as long as you’re the right person. they are as long as they pay off.
#south#rvb south#agent south dakota#i wanted to write a south part to that last north post but trying to word that correctly really drained me but i felt BAD leaving her hangin#so i’m sharing the other meta i wrote about her on discord#a lot of this is nothing new ppl have said all this before and i’m sure i have said a lot of this before but.#well. here you go.
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I find it so ironically funny when hardcore Debbie defenders use the defense that she was just a victimised teenage girl (agreed) and then proceed to slander Fiona and express their hatred for her character and lack of sympathy
as if being an adult magically absolves an individual of the horrifying trauma that precedes them and screws up their mentality and actions
funnily enough these people get mad at others for "expecting Debbie to be an innocent angel and hating on her for acting out as a result of trauma" (also agreed, debbie does deserve more sympathy, she can't be expected to grow up to be a perfect saint when she's been through so much) yet seem to hold Fiona to the same unattainable standards and put her on a pedestal as if she wasnt a child that was forced to intensely grow up while never actually being raised
like lets put this into perspective and remember that fiona grew up surrounded by corrupt morals and insanely screwed up behaviour yet still emerged as messed up, yes, but surprisingly good considering the situation she was in??? she had to navigate basic things such as morals and being a good, responsible person on her own. imagine how difficult it must be to lead a bunch of kids, including yourself, with no previous role model or good example of your own to follow. most of the time, she always tried to do what she thought was best and would have the most desirable outcome
#listen a lot of the time debbie defenders make good points#is debbie my favourite? no but she does deserve more sympathy#im really unserious on here and ive made some dumb meaningless jokes but at the heart of it i have sympathy for debbie#so no its not the debbie defense i have an issue with#its the way these people claim to be#1 understanders of shameless women and their complexity#top defenders#including of the women who have said and done worse than/just as bad as fiona#and then proceed to spew all this vitriolic lack of sympathy regarding fionas character#they always talk about fiona making the choice to be their legal guardian#as if the situation wasnt complex and 1) she felt pushed into an inescapable corner#2) that doesnt change the fact that she'd have strong feelings about her baby sister choosing to have a whole baby???#she claimed legal guardianship over HER siblings she did not foresee any other children being added to the mix#so yes she went about it harshly at times when she made debbie raise franny independently#but its not surprising considering her exhausted life?? her history as a TEENAGE GIRL and CHILD of raising kids???#there are actual mothers who'd be worse about this situation and fiona wasnt trying to be nasty#it was tough love and it could've been shown in better ways#and im not putting all the blame on debbie cause she was so young and vulnerable#but at the end of the day she made a choice and fiona was trying to help her understand the importance of consequences to your choice#and navigating adulthood when you choose to behave like one#of course debbie was often put in situations where she felt like she had to be a grown up and that is not her fault#but its not fionas either. theyre all just trying to survive. and fiona tried her damn hardest to preserve debbies childhood#so how do you think she'll react realistically to the whiplash of debbie purposefully getting pregnant#ultimately theres a lot of complexity and flaws and nuance to these situations and i find it weird when people criticise#others for putting so much blame on debbie#and then do the same to fiona as if shes not a victimised product of her environment too#you can show sympathy to debbie while understanding Fiona too and being critical in a mature#nuanced way#im not being a hater to anyone btw im just sharing some thoughts and letting it out. all im saying is#most of the shameless women deserve sympathy and understanding and its strange to deny fiona of that
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<3
#thank you to anyone who prayed about my breakdown/spiral yesterday#absolutely nothing is healed/fixed/resolved and I have been exhausted+on the verge of tears all day#but#but it felt important to share an update since I was doing So poorly#and today my brain has been much quieter than how frankly frenzied it was yesterday#so I’ve been experiencing a bit of relief and am incredibly incredibly grateful#bc idk how I would’ve weathered an entire next day as bad as the last#anyway#thank you for praying all that to say#prayers still needed bc I know this is just a reprieve and not actually a release (if that makes sense) but yeah <3#it’s easy to be scared of whenever the next bad wave is gonna come but I’m trying instead to just Be#elle rambles#[neptune]#ig
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RAHHH DO I HAVE THOUGHTS
#idk im a huge overthinker so i have those moments of idk if these count as romantic feelings or not#and i have a tendency to take things really seriously when im into it#in the same way of wanting to do things right and whatnot#i wish i had someone to tell me to think a little less and take it easy when i was really going through it#because i thought about it so hard and worried about it so hard that falling in love was no longer fun for me#it was so stressful to me that it was causing me physical harm lol which is so fucked up that relationship trauma can do that to you#but ig part of it was being an inexperienced queer#the queer experience felt so hard to come by in the first place that i really really wanted to do it right and for it to work out#ig in a sense we're luckier to be in an environment where it's not as bad as like. idk.#like ig it's not to the point of i would date someone just bc it's so rare to run into someone else with the same identity#uh#wait#actually.#huh#hm#well. ok maybe like the majority of. the people i got into a relationship with. was bc they shared the same identity.#and i felt like i wouldn't. be able to be understood by someone who didn't share that identity.#anyway though. anyway.#we're working on not. doing that.#but yeah i forgot my point teehee#yuri rambling#kk rambles#i just yk. keep on having to remind myself that falling in love should be fun and not scary#having a silly little crush should bring me joy and not fear#i should enjoy the feeling of being present and enjoying life and even if im doing it my way and being intense i should have fun with it
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