#so i guess by default he would win

[cerberus253]

I got a few dreams that I had this year to speak about.

The first one was started as the common “running away from things that hurt me, then a bunch of people who support me come out and defend me, and an all out war breaks loose while I try to run and hide” kind of dream. Instead of those who were supporting me, they were the crazed cultists from The Pathless, who follow the Godslayer, but they were technically still on my side because GS and I are on friendly terms, but it turns out they were also trying to catch me (while also keeping the enemy away from me). They did eventually capture me, of course bringing me to GS, but I what I was not expecting was being at an alter. Godslayer was trying to marry me. Flattering as it was, I was not ready for marriage, and I found the situation was so funny that I woke up laughing.

(The Godslayer; picture does not do him justice with his domineering and intimidating presence)

Second dream, I was doing a sort of “rivalry war” with Messmer the Impaler, where technically we were both amicable with each other, but we were doing a legit war with each other because we thought it was fun and wanted to see who was better (relax, it’s just a dream; I do not condone such senseless violence just for the sake of fun). Eventually we went toe-to-toe, and something completely unexpected happened: Fucker the Impaler wanted to marry me. Again, flattered, not ready for marriage, and really funny, but I legit felt like I had to warm him about Godslayer, who also wanted my hand. He didn’t care, and I was like, “Honey, you got a big storm coming,” because motherfucking Godslayer is crazy and will kill on sight.

(Messmer the Impaler; picture does not show his silly pantsless twink legs)

Third and last dream, I was again surrounded by people who wanted to hurt me and those who wanted to help me, but those who wanted to help me started to go against me. This, of course, broke my heart and had me break down in my dreams, crying and heartache and all. One of the people that I was friends with, who I have not seen in a very long time, appeared and acted as my Knight in ~~Bloody~~ Shining Armor. That man was Stefano Valentini, and that fucker also decided it was about time to marry me. This was just getting ridiculous at this point, but I told him the same thing I told the other two: Flattered, not ready, this is funny, FUCKER YOU BETTER RUN because you have NO chance against the last two guys that wanted the same thing. Run as fast as your spaghetti-ass legs can carry you!

(Stefano Valentini; picture does not show how much of a horrific killer he is)

So now I’m literally in the, “Fuck, Marry, Kill” situation with these three freaks and I’m not only scared/curious on anyone else wanting my hand, but also what will happen when all of them (or most) are in the same dream.

[pucksandpower]

Fashionably Challenged

Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: you and Max may not exactly be the paddock’s most stylish couple, but you wouldn’t want it any other way

You wake up to the sound of Max rummaging through the closet of your shared hotel suite. Rolling over, you see him laying out two matching outfits — the Red Bull Racing team polos, skinny jeans, and sneakers you’ve grown accustomed to over the years.

One set for him, one set for you.

“Morning, liefje,” he says, catching your gaze. “I have our outfits for the day ready to go.”

You smile sleepily. “Thanks, babe. You know me too well.”

Max grins as he walks over and climbs back into bed, throwing an arm around you. “Of course I do. Can’t have my girlfriend showing up to races looking anything less than perfect.”

You laugh and playfully shove him. “Oh shut up. You know I’d show up in a potato sack if I could.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he says with mock seriousness. “I would never let you embarrass me like that.”

“Embarrass you?” You scoff. “Please, like you even notice what I’m wearing half the time. You’re just as bad as me when it comes to fashion.”

Max opens his mouth to protest but then shuts it, shrugging in admission. “Okay, fair point. But that’s why I always get you the same thing I’m wearing. So there’s no way we can mess it up.”

You consider this for a moment. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. We make a pretty fashionably challenged couple.”

“The most fashionably challenged,” he agrees with a laugh. He pauses, gaze growing serious. “But I like it that way. I like that we match.”

Warmth blooms in your chest. “Me too.”

The morning passes quickly as you get ready for the race. True to form, you both pull on the matching outfits without a second thought. As you’re walking out to the car, Max stops you.

“Wait,” he says, taking your hand and turning you to face him. He looks you up and down appraisingly. “You look perfect, just like always.”

You can’t help but beam at the compliment. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

He grins. “Not nearly enough.”

“Well I do,” you say, leaning in to kiss him. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, schatje,” Max murmurs against your lips. “Now let’s go kick some ass today.”

The race goes well, Max taking the checkered flag to the roar of the crowds. As you’re waiting to congratulate him, a podcaster approaches you with a microphone.

“Hi there,” she says brightly. “I’m Lottie from The Racing Line. I was wondering if I could ask you a couple quick questions?”

“Oh, um, sure,” you’re a bit caught off guard.

“Great! So first off, you and Max always seem to be wearing matching outfits to the races. Is that something you two purposely coordinate as a cute couple thing?”

You feel your cheeks flush slightly. “Oh no, not at all actually. The truth is neither of us have much fashion sense at all. So Max just gets me the female version of whatever he’s wearing to make it easy.”

The podcaster looks disappointed. “Oh, I see. So it’s not some adorable couple tradition then?”

“Well, I mean, I guess in a way it kind of is?” You say quickly, feeling guilty. “Neither of us are really into fashion, so we end up matching by default anyway. I think it’s sweet that we always end up coordinating without even trying because we’re just so in sync.”

She perks up at that. “Aww, okay, I can see that! So even though it’s not on purpose, you’ve made your own cute little tradition out of it just by being so aligned. That’s really romantic.”

You nod, smiling softly. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Well thank you so much for your time,” she shakes your hand. “And congratulations to Max on another win!”

“Thank you,” you reply as she walks away.

A few minutes later Max emerges, helmet under his arm and face lit up in that way you love. You throw your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Congratulations baby, you were amazing out there as always.”

“Thank you, schatje,” he says, squeezing you close. He pauses, smile turning teasing. “Did you enjoy chatting with that podcaster earlier?”

You pull back, eyes narrowing. “You saw that, did you?”

He chuckles. “Of course I did. I always notice you.”

“Well then you also saw me have to completely backtrack and come up with some sappy story for why we match when she thought it was a cutesy couple thing,” you say dryly.

Max shrugs. “It kind of is though, isn’t it? Maybe not on purpose, but it’s become our thing.”

“I guess you’re right,” you admit. “I told her it was romantic how in sync we are, always coordinating outfits without even trying.”

“Hmm, I like that,” he says, grinning. “We really are pretty in sync, aren’t we? Two fashionably hopeless peas in a pod.”

You laugh. “That we are.” You look at him fondly. “But I love our way better than being one of those obnoxiously coordinated couples.”

“Me too,” he agrees. “Though I will admit ...” His gaze grows more serious. “Part of the reason I like matching is because it makes me happy to walk around wearing the same thing as you. Like we’re a unit, you know?”

Your heart skips a beat at the soft vulnerability in his voice. “Max Verstappen, you big old romantic,” you tease gently.

He shrugs but you can see the pleased look in his eyes. Sudden understanding washes over you.

“Wait a minute … is that why you got me the same outfit the first time? Not just because you thought it would be easier, but because you wanted us to match?”

Max stays silent for a moment before breaking into a sheepish grin. “You caught me.”

“Oh my god!” You shove his shoulder playfully. “You big sap!”

“What can I say? I like having my girl on my arm looking like the power couple we are,” Max says, pulling you close again. “Fashionably challenged or not.”

“If only everyone out there making you out to be the villain could see the cuddly teddy bear you really are. I absolutely love it,” you murmur, stretching up to kiss him. You can feel him smile against your lips.

As you break apart, Max squeezes your hand. “Come on, let’s go celebrate. In new matching outfits, of course.”

You pretend to roll your eyes exaggeratingly but allow him to lead you towards the exit, your hands intertwined. You truly wouldn’t have it any other way.

***

You and Max are curled up on the couch in your hotel room, his arm draped around you as you lean into his side. It’s a rare quiet moment between races and you’re savoring the feeling of Max’s fingers gently carding through your hair.

“Hey Max?” You say after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Hmm?” He hums in response, not looking away from the football match on the TV.

“I got an interesting offer today.”

That piques his interest and he turns his head to look at you. “Oh yeah? What kind of offer?”

You take a deep breath before answering. “A sponsorship deal, actually. From Oscar de la Renta.”

Max raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Wow, that’s … really great, liefje. I’m so happy for you.”

But something in his tone makes you frown slightly. “Are you though? You don’t sound that excited.”

He gives you a half smile. “No, no, I am! That’s a huge opportunity for your career and image. Having that kind of sponsorship deal is amazing.”

“But?” You prod knowingly.

Max lets out a breath, smile fading. “But I guess part of me is a little disappointed and maybe … worried?”

“About what?”

“Well,” he shifts uncomfortably. “I like being the one who picks out your outfits for the races. Our little unintentional matching tradition has kind of become my thing, you know? I’m worried if you get sponsored by some big designer brand you won’t wear the outfits I pick out anymore. That we won’t match.”

His tone is carefully casual but you can hear the undercurrent of vulnerability. Your heart clenches in your chest.

“Oh Max ...” you murmur, reaching up to cup his cheek. “You really like our matching outfits that much?”

He averts his eyes but nods. “Yeah. I know it sounds silly, but I just … I like how in sync we are. How happy it makes me feel when we show up to the races looking like a real team. Like we’re truly partners in everything. I don’t want to lose that.”

The softness in his voice breaks your heart a little. You take his hand and give it a squeeze.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that,” you tell him gently. “Because I never would have accepted that offer anyway.”

Max blinks in surprise. “You wouldn’t?”

You shake your head. “Not a chance. First of all, they were pressuring me to only wear very high-end stuff, none of which really feels like my personal style. But more importantly ...” You lean in closer, maintaining eye contact. “They don’t have a men’s collection. So they couldn’t sponsor you too.”

Realization lights up his gaze. “Oh ...” he says softly.

You nod. “Exactly. I told them thanks but no thanks. Because no designer wardrobe is worth giving up what we have.”

Max looks stunned. “You … you turned them down? Just to keep matching with me?”

“Of course I did,” you say affectionately, poking his chest. “I would never give that up. How could I say yes to some fancy sponsorship that meant not having my fashionably challenged other half by my side, both looking like total goofballs in the one outfit the world thinks makes up the entirety of our closet?”

A slow smile spreads across his face and he pulls you into his arms, hugging you tightly. “God, I love you,” he murmurs into your hair. “So much.”

You relax into his embrace, overwhelmed by the rush of affection. “I love you too,” you whisper. You pull back slightly to look at him. “Did you really think I’d give up matching with you over that?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, looking a little sheepish. “I guess a small part of me was worried maybe you’d be tempted by the glamor and exposure of being a designer brand ambassador.”

“You know me better than that,” you affirm. “Our matching looks are too special to me. I adore everything about our little tradition — the fact that it started because neither of us cares about fashion, to you always picking out my outfits, and how happy it makes both of us to show up to races coordinating with each other.”

You take Max’s hand, intertwining your fingers. “Don’t you see, my love? It’s not really about the clothes at all, it’s about us. About how perfectly aligned we are in this little part of our lives. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

Max’s eyes have gone suspiciously bright, his free hand reaching up to cradle your face. “But liefje … you could have had any designer clothing you wanted.” His voice is thick with emotion. “You turned that down … for me?”

Unable to find the words, you just nod, blinking back your own tears.

“I can’t believe it,” Max breathes out shakily. “You never cease to amaze me.”

You offer him a watery smile. “Well believe it, my love. Because there’s nothing in the world more precious to me than you and our bond. I wouldn’t sacrifice that for anything.”

A single tear escapes to trail down Max’s cheek and you quickly brush it away with your thumb. Seeming at a loss for words, he pulls you into a fierce hug, tucking your head under his chin as you settle into his embrace.

“I love you,” he finally whispers into your hair. “So damn much.”

“I love you too.” You pepper kisses along his neck and jaw until you reach his lips, capturing them in a deep, slow kiss that tries to convey every unspoken word of devotion and adoration.

When you finally break apart, Max gazes at you with an intensity that makes your breath catch.

“God, you really are perfect,” he murmurs, running a hand reverently through your hair. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

“No,” you shake your head with a soft smile. “I’m the lucky one. To have someone who loves me so fiercely, someone I love just as much in return.”

Max lets out a watery chuckle. “I think we’re both the lucky ones then.”

You settle back against his chest as he wraps his arms securely around you. For a while neither of you speaks, lost in your own thoughts as you simply bask in each other’s presence. You let your eyes drift shut as Max’s fingers resume their gentle motions through your hair.

Eventually you break the silence.

“You know we’re going to have to get even cuter matching outfits now to make up for it,” you murmur teasingly.

Max’s chest rumbles with laughter against your cheek. “Deal. Anything you want, schatje. I’ll make sure we’re the most adorable fashionably challenged couple at every single race from now on.”

You smile at the warmth and conviction in his voice. “No one could ever call us uncoordinated.”

“Never,” Max affirms, dropping a soft kiss to the top of your head. “We’re perfectly matched in every way that matters.”

You sigh contentedly as you snuggle further into his embrace. In that moment, you know he’s absolutely right. You couldn’t imagine a better match than your Max.

[prettymonegasque]

not acceptable

Charles Leclerc x fem!driver! reader

Summary: Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do when your pretty boyfriend is a lil dumb

Warnings: Excessive cursing, Lando slander, grown men sharing a single brain cell, fluff?

Word Count: 1.3k

Based on my favourite scene in Schitt’s Creek

In all the two years you’ve been in Ferrari, the speculations and rumours of you dating Charles were non-stop. Neither of you paid much attention to it. You were both in happy relationships. However, that changed in the summer of ‘22 when you broke up with your partner. It wasn’t messy and you both agreed it was for the better. You focused on the rest of the season. 

Fast forward to the summer of ‘23, you and Charles were both single. You decided to give in to the speculations and give the relationship a real shot. You went on a few dates, each one being more fun than the previous one. Yet neither of you took the leap to become exclusive. You both liked each other but it wasn’t said out loud as much as you would’ve wanted to. So when Charles invited you to a game night with his friends, you thought it would be the one where he introduced you as his girlfriend. 

You knocked on his apartment door at 7 pm. You had brought a charcuterie board because you panicked and the first thing your mind thought was cheese. 

“Y/N! Come in.” Charles opened the door and hugged you. You tried your best to return while managing the charcuterie board. He laughed at your struggle, took the board from your hand and led you in. You spotted some familiar faces in the room. “Hey, guys. This is Y/N. My teammate as you know.” To risk being dramatic, the only description for what you felt was “death by a thousand cuts”. You still forced a smile and greeted everyone. You took a seat on the sofa next to Charles. “You brought a charcuterie board?” Pierre asked puzzled. “Dibs on gouda.” Yelled a familiar Brit.

**************

For the next few hours, you forced yourself to forget about your “teammate” and focus on the game instead. To everyone’s surprise, you were very good at Monopoly. You had already collected over $7000 worth of assets. You were more than happy to win by default. Arthur suggested Uno and everyone complied. You had never played it before which made the group very happy. 

When you got your cards you leaned over to Charles and whispered “What the fuck should I do now? ” Charles peeked at your cards and by instinct you shied them away from him. “You have to show me the cards so I can tell you what to do.” He laughed. You rolled your eyes and showed him the cards. “How the hell did you get 3 +4 cards?” “Why? Is that bad?” “No no. It is very good and I am very grateful my turn is before you.” “I am gonna crush these motherfuckers” You silently giggled.

“Y/N your turn,” Andrea called out. You placed the +4 card on the table. “Seriously?” Lando sighed and took 4 cards from the deck. “I thought you'd never played this before.” “I haven’t. I’m just that good, Norris.” “You know you could put all the +4 cards at once? ” Charles whispered in your ear. When your turn came again you placed both your +4 cards down. “Oh come on. You’re an absolute ass.” Lando exclaimed. “You just got destroyed by a UNO rookie, Lando” Pierre doubled over in laughter. “Also you have only one card left. You can call out UNO” Arthur nudged you. “UNO!” You yelled. “Well, I guess we have a winner. ” Lorenzo sighed and folded.

You started feeling a little guilty. Your winning spree kept cutting the game short. It didn’t look like anyone was having any fun. Even if Charles isn’t going to introduce you as his girlfriend, you still want his friends and brothers to like you as Charles’ girl. Charles brought in Scrabble as his last resort. He wasn’t expecting to go through 2 games so quickly. You were chosen as the judge. You promised yourself to go easy on everyone. You weren’t sure if you were making a good impression on everyone but boy did your ego love this. 

**************

“What do you mean ‘rizz’ isn’t accepted?” Arthur yelled. “Mate it isn’t in the dictionary.” “Then why does everyone call Lando ‘NoRIZZ’?” “Hey!” “I consider it as an acceptable word. We know the meaning. It exists. It’s a word.” You chimed in. “Thank you!” Arthur smiled and added 13 points to himself. The game continued and you limited yourself to simple words. And you accepted every word regardless of how ridiculous it was. 

“Yes Pierre ‘Fuck’ is a word.” 

“I mean we all know what ‘OMG’ is”

“Sure, Charles. You can make Frenglish words.” 

You could physically feel the pain from the insanity of some words but you were on a mission. You nodded and smiled and carried on. The words became chaotic by the minute. Your last straw was when Lando argued that “Skibidi” should be accepted. 

“That’s it. I can’t take this shit anymore. I respect the game too much to put up with this. You are way too old to use the word ‘Skibidi’, Lando.” “Yeah so wrong, Lando” Pierre fakes disappointment. “You! Fuck is not acceptable.” “Not acceptable. Yes sorry, Y/N” He bites back a laugh. “OMG!? Are you kidding me?” “I wasn’t.” Lorenzo shakes his head. “And my boyfriend sits there looking pretty and wanting to make up Frenglish words. THAT’S NOT EVEN A LANGUAGE. NOT ACCEPTABLE!” 

“I’m sorry. What did you just say?” Charles looked up at you. “I said Lando is old.” You tried to shift the conversation. “Why the fuck am I getting slandered?” “No. I think it was something about your boyfriend being pretty and making up words.” Charles redirects you. “Um... I don’t remember saying that.” You mumbled. “Yeah no. That’s what we heard. Right Arthur?” Pierre snickered. 

“Hey if my girlfriend says Frenglish isn’t acceptable then it isn’t, guys” Charles smirked. “Or it is. I don’t remember saying it.” You shrugged. “So you can do whatever you like.” The ceiling looked much more interesting than the gorgeous green eyes looking at you. “I think our work is done here. Let’s go guys.” Lando stood up. “And what exactly was that work, Norizz?” You called out as everyone was walking out the door chattering. Lando just smiled at you and closed the door. 

You and Charles remained quiet and just looked at each other for a long moment. “I don’t k-” “Do you r-” You both spoke at the same time. Gentle giggles echoed in the silence. “I was gonna ask if you regretted it?” Charles looked at you with a hopeful glint in his eyes. “No. God no. Charles, I don’t regret it at all. But to be honest, I kinda thought you hosted this game night to introduce me as your girlfriend. It sucked ass when you called me your teammate.” You looked down at your feet. You contemplated if sitting down would make this whole shebang less awkward. But Charles quietened your thoughts by standing up and taking your hands in his.

 “Cherie, seconds before you knocked, I was having a full-blown panic attack. I really really like you and I wanted us to be official but I didn’t know what you felt. The guys were there for emotional support because I do not trust myself with any high-risk situation.”

“You drive a car at 300 km/hr almost every weekend.” 

“Please. That is nothing compared to you. Every time I get in the cockpit, I’m more worried about your safety than mine. I was going to introduce you as my girlfriend. Trust me the word was on the tip of my tongue but I was being a pussy and chickened out. I’m so glad you did it tho.” His smile made those adorable dimples pop as he hugged you. “I’m so glad I did it too.” Your voice came out muffled with your cheek pressed against his chest. 

“And I’m so glad you called me pretty.”   

[vultbae]

water and oil ✩

tashi duncan x female reader blurb

↳ summary: the two female college tennis archenemies play against each other.

↳ warnings: angst, being closeted.

↳ notes: english is not my first language pookies! also, I couldn't believe there aren't almost any Tashi fics??? and happy pride! not proof-read btw

word count: 1.1k

An ear-piercing scream rips through the air, slicing through the ambient noise of the tennis court like a knife, instantly making your body freeze. Your chest aggressively compresses as you watch your lifetime opponent, Tashi Duncan, fall on her back and crumple to the ground in agony, hands clutching her injured knee as if trying to hold herself together. 

Everything has diverted into penetrating silence, and you feel your racket gradually slipping from your fingers, the once-familiar weight slipping away unnoticed as you stare at Tashi Duncan with shock and a rigid, fast-pounding heart. Her face is a torturous portrayal of suffering, with knitted eyebrows and a constant audible sob escaping her lips.

You can't —or are incapable— of moving a muscle; they have locked themselves with a key you forgot where you placed. Instead, you stare with tears brimming at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over but held back by sheer will. Suddenly, the sour mutterings from the crowd began to stab the thick fog of your shock. At first, the voices were just a faraway hum, but soon, the words became crystal clear.

"Why isn't she helping her?" 

"Look at her—she doesn't even care. She will win by default."

"They hate each other; she won't help." 

You are aware that the public perception of your rivalry with Tashi is intense, fueled by years of competitive clashes on and off the court. So, technically, they aren't wrong. You kind of hate each other, at least publicly. Even college recruiters had recognized early on that your rivalry was too severe to coexist on the same team—you for UCLA and Tashi for Stanford. You are polar opposites in playing style and temperament, each embodying traits that clash rather than complement. 

While other tennis players in your age group get praised for their ability to work beautifully together, Tashi and you resemble more water and oil.

And water and oil don't mix. 

Your heart sinks further as your gaze shifts from Tashi Duncan to the male figure now hysterically rushing onto the court. He is tall and good-looking, with blonde curls and an exaggerated expression of concern that you find melodramatic and infuriatingly genuine all at once. Recognition dawns upon you like a dark cloud—Art Donaldson, the young tennis promise Tashi had been talking to lately, also from Stanford.

The sight of Donaldson crossing onto the court, jumping over the net without hesitation, and acting like a wannabe hero stirs a mixture of sour emotions within your core—jealousy, resentment, and a deep sense of helplessness. Of course, it makes absolute sense Tashi Duncan is dating a handsome, talented tennis player from her same school... and guess what? He came to the rescue! You internally cringe at the horrid thought of everyone applauding him for caring for your girlfriend.

The crowd's accusatory murmurs continue behind your back. Your fists clench at your sides, nails digging into your palms as you follow Art Donaldson's silhouette kneeling beside Tashi's body with eyes filled with hostility and envy. You watch as he gently takes Tashi's hand in his, his facial expression softening as he murmurs charming words of reassurance to the girl deliriously in pain. You can't tolerate it. You stay there, still torn and immobilized, with your mind racing and endeavoring to decide what to do. 

"Sometimes I wish I was a dude," you murmured, voice barely above a whisper in the quiet of Tashi's dimly lit college dorm. Tashi's fingers lightly brushed through your hair but abruptly stopped. "If I was that Patrick dude or the other blonde guy, my life would be ten times easier."  

You heard her sigh. 

"But you wouldn't be as good at tennis," Tashi softly replied, and you could tell she was avoiding conflict at all costs. 

A beat.

"But I would have you," you said, turning your head to face Tashi, whose expression remained reflective and contradictory as she stared into the soft glow of the lamp lying on her night table. "I promise that's all that matters to me, Tash," you reassured.

Your eyes met, each with equal sorrow and frustration. Tashi broke eye contact first.

Tashi knew that picking arguments with Patrick was very easy, and she didn't have the urge to speak of anything else annexed from tennis and sex with him. You somehow managed to actively amuse her with conversations regarding your crusty dog back home, the food you have tried when you travel abroad, and everlasting anecdotes that provoke you to giggle and steal a genuine smile from Tashi's lips every single time. 

And it wasn't too long after you exchanged your first words in private for her to realize she loved you. But not in a chummy way. Tashi romantically loved you.

But she never said it. Tashi just guessed you would assume she maniacally loved you, and you would satisfy yourself with that.

But the belief of Tashi loving you felt unimaginable in situations like this.

And now, the panorama of them together reflecting a couple straight out of a film—Art's concern etched on his face, Tashi's distress requiring attention—served as a stark, fucking bitter reminder of the captivating image they could market for years. They look perfect, they look—right.

So, why bother ruining Tashi's career? If her key to branding conquest is right there, kneeling next to her aching body in the form of a six-foot gorgeous tennis player.

In that rare moment of clarity, you make a sore, silent vow to honor your secret, to continue navigating the labyrinth of hidden tenderness and affection if Tashi doesn't decide to drop you after this.

But, as you are one intrusive thought away from stepping out of the court —or, better said, escape— Tashi's hazel orbs, flickering with anxiety and in between dried and brand-new tears, disembark on your outline. Internally, she wonders why you cry —at least as much as her, and you wish you could clarify is because you feel powerless. You are powerless. 

Tashi stares one, five, fifteen, thirty seconds. She doesn't quit. You stare back. Encircling her, the Stanford medical team consoles her and provides instructions to which she doesn't pay attention. To her right side, and almost covering the view of her, the blonde guy starts to question what —or who— she is looking at.

You mouth, "I love you."

Tashi's eyes widen slightly in surprise, and you can see that little pout of hers appearing over her lips.

Art turns to track Tashi's gaze, falling over you.

And when he's not looking, Tashi mouths back.

"I love you too."

And that's what matters because no one else needs to know that water and oil can mix.

[kalopses-sonderes]

Hey, hyper anon here...had this idea for a self aware cookie run x readers series or one shot If you're interested! It's kinda based off your imposter au!

Y/n gets transported into game and brought before the imposter! The imposter starts talking but then y/n claims they wanna talk to the imposter in private! When they talk in private, only the imposter and y/n, y/n reveals that they just want to live a normal life among cookies and they are totally fine with the imposter being the ruler of the cookies because they seem very cool and being a ruler seems too stressful (bonus: y/n doesn't feel worthy of being the cookie's ruler as well because they don't have powers or something like the imposter does...and bonus bonus if the imposter can do stuff like summon amazing cotton candy and stuff to bribe cookies with!) Imposter calls cookies in and apologizes for the misunderstanding and 'mistaking (favorite flavor) cookie as an imposter' and apologizes by helping them find a home and a place!

Oh and later on...cookies read imposter's dairy and discover that imposter is...well an imposter, and what their baker said to them and the little...deal they made (imposter being ruler, y/n just living their life as a normal cookie citizen of kingsom) but has an evil yet good plan (good in y/n's unknowing eyes, bad in cookie's eyes) where the imposter has slowly been bribing y/n and winning their heart so even if they are found out, y/n is singing their praises from on high and would vouch for them! (Example of bribes: giving y/n their favorite sweets, becoming their closest friend...which leads into something that would horrifying cookies more because jealousy, showing y/n amazing tricks, and taking them to places one could only DREAM of and more!) Thing that horrified cookies: the imposter was first doing it out of manipulation but is clearly starting to actually LIKE the baker and wants to be their friend...not to charm em to have the cookie's sweet baker singing their praises!

So, in order to get their y/n back and make y/n sing THEIR praises instead and make y/n WANT to he the center of their world...they start counter bribing! They start doing nice things to and for y/n, claiming that it's because they want to welcome y/n at first and then slowly up the spoiling...giving y/n more and more attention, making sure y/n is melting at THEIR fingertips and not the imposter's...making y/n desire them and not the imposter.

And when time is right...imposter is exposed! Imposter tries to get y/n on their side....buuut y/n can't resist the cookie's siren call of a sweet beckon and possibly a cute saying along the lines of 'oh sweetheart, come to [cute nickname they call themselves]' or 'oh [cute nickname], you shouldn't stress about this buisness...come, let's go home and [activity they like or find relaxing...examples, go bake some monster muffins to munch on or go cuddle or give y/n a backrub or something]' and it makes y/n go running to them like a savior unable to resist a siren's call.

A/n: Omg I want this to be a series, so this is gonna be like mostly my brain rotting rambles and small portions of little fics so we can build off it later on in the series

All the writing in purple is the little fics, default color is just my rambles and headcanons about it

“Imposter for Baker? Count me in!”

Series masterlist

- Just imagine little cookie y/n plopping into the cookie verse like “oop, guess this is my new life now.” They just start living a normal life on the outskirts of their kingdom so no one can find them. Cause, if you you were transported to a new universe, you would think you were their god/baker or they were gonna try and hunt you down. Soooo y/n decided to keep to themselves and not let their presence be known yet.

- BOOM! There’s news of the “baker” being spotted and brought to the big castle to take there throne and high power blah blah. The Imposter looks similar to you, just with purple eyes(If you have purple eyes… now you don’t). You can’t tell what the true bakers eye color is because the statues aren’t painted, so the imposter fit the bill well.an they had powers! It has to be their baker then!

- Y/n is absolute happy about that! They get to sit back and relax, they go in public now and just tell cookies they just were “ blessed with the looks of their baker” and how they aren’t them. Some of the cookies were extremely skeptical but let it slide since they said they weren’t their baker and weren’t trying to impersonate them, cause the imposter is totallyyyy the real baker!

“You look oddly familiar..” Pure Vanilla looks Y/n up and down.

The cookies surround Y/n, trying to figure out why you look exactly like their baker.. just with your boring eyes, not neon purple eyes like their totally real baker has. Espresso has a magnifying glass in your cookie face, looking at all the detail.

‘Uhhhhhhh… I was just blessed by our baker, and uh, they blessed me with their beauty and I’m not them. I don’t have purple eyes or cool powers! I’m just trying to live a normal life like everyone else.” You say, any normal person would have seen right through you and what you were saying, but the cookies believed you. You weren’t claiming to be their baker so they have no reason to not let you live a peaceful life, it could just be an odd coincident!

“Well they don’t seem like their lying.. Guess they get to go peacefully for now till the Baker decided what’s to do with them.” Milk shrugs, everyone nodding and humming in agreement with Milk.

- Once the imposter finds out you’re there they are instantly scared. What if you go hunting them?! Or take the throne and execute them?!

- They order a few cookies to go collect you so they can have a one on one talk with you disguising it as a dinner twitch their “look a like” for funnies. Once the cookies bring you back, the imposter leads you away to a more secluded room in the castle so no one can spy on you both as they question you.

“This is my throne and-“ The imposter started once they closed the door the small storage room.

“You can keep it, I don’t want to be the ruler of this kingdom, just live a normal life.” You interrupted, you looked pretty calm about the whole ordeal while the imposter looked like they’ve seen a ghost.

“Wait.. what? You’re just gonna let me keep it.” The imposter look dumbfounded, not actually believing you’ll let them keep at this power. They thought they wold have to threaten you or make an official announcement that you’re an imposter and let the cookies hunt you down for the. “Not even gonna put up a small fight.? I didn’t even get to finish my monologue I worked so hard on..” :(

- You got to live a pretty normal life under the imposters rule. Until Pure Vanilla decides to go through the imposters room and found a diary, I snooped through it and read it….. Finding out you’re the real baker! -insert Pure Vanilla doing surprised pikachu face- He was flabbergasted(I love this word so much for no reason) He didn’t expect to be worshipping the WRONG baker the entire time and their real baker was being bribed to like the imposter and be their friend. So if the imposter gets found out, you’d take Imposters side over the cookies! He also found out how you never wanted to be Baker and let the imposter take your spot! D:

- It clicked in Pure Vanilla’s head, you have been spending loads of time with the imposter and received even as house from them and gifts. He came up with an idea to also bribe you! He gets the other cookies in on it.. It’s basically a full on war!

- your house is basically full of gifts from all the cookies and you’re absolutely clueless on what this about and you didn’t mind it at first till you could barely see your living room floor from all their gifts piled up in there!

Who will win the real baker? Imposter or the cookies? Find out on the next episode of “Imposter for Baker? Count me in!”

A/n: kept it very open ended so the other parts of this series will fit well :D

[tea-time-with-frogs]

sniper is so fun to draw like yeahh shapes! Also drawing these made me think about him and i'm sniperpilled now. or just projecting

So uhh sniper headcanons and other stuff i felt like writing about:

- i noticed how he really tends to rub it in peoples face when he wins- he does that in his lines, especialy the revenge ones, they're very "and also i'm better btw". i guess that's the point of them for every class but his are just?? very salty. also his default taunts are very literal "taunts"- i mean he shoots you in the head and waves at the camera to piss you of. mean little freak. love that for him

-so i like the idea that sniper can fall asleep anywhere old man style, but i feel like he doesn't really sleep well. wakes up at night a lot, he should take a nap but i don't think he would let his guard down unless he feels 100% safe so not very often. he keeps one eye open even when he seems to be resting i think. also he drinks too much coffee. really needs to take a nap on the couch with his arms crossed as a treat (meee i'm so sleepy)

- i like the idea of him drawing plants and animals in a little notebook he always carries with him just because i do that.

ok bye

[danieyells]

Thank you for sharing the tdb affinity lines! I know I won't be naturally getting any of these for ten years (if the games even still around by then) lol.

I was wondering if you could share any interesting lines of Taiga's? No pressure tho! It's just after seeing some of his lines from other people, he seems to have a bigger role in the story and I'm curious if any of his lines give any more clues to the situation on hand. Also would be interesting to see if he genuinely starts caring for mc besides wanting to like. Eat her for lunch lol.

It's no problem! And yeah that's part of why I wanna share them--getting the units to high enough affinity is a pain and to even see any of the home screen dialogues you need an SR or SSR, which means good luck with the gacha buckaroo.

YES TAIGA MY BELOVED. he's my favorite behind maybe Towa. Chances are if you've seen the one line you've seen the only one referring to that, although there is one more that may be related? But it might be general. As for caring for the PC, this is a joseimuke so. The characters will always love you more and more with time. And Taiga most certainly does haha doesn't prevent the hunger from rising up though. friendly reminder to feed your Taiga!

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"...Who're you? Don't pop up out of nowhere like that.  Wouldn't want me to shoot you by mistake, would you?"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Huh? You got a letter. If it's for me just reply for me, yeah?"

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"What are you again? A middle school student? A transfer student? Got it, an honor student! Gyahaha! I'm never gonna remember that!"

"Heads or tails, even or odd, on or off... It's all so fucking tedious!"

"Playing with these morons is exhausting... Lulu gets all mad if I win too much..."

"Don't talk to me. I feel like shit."

"That smells amazing... Shit, where's it coming from?"

please feed your taiga.

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"It's too early for your bleating. Shut your trap unless you wanna get abducted."

once again, welcome to sinostra's house of human trafficking--

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"That dealer sucks. He's been here the longest? Why should I give a shit? Fire him."

what the fuck is tenure?

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"You wanna know what kinda meat this is? Anomaly meat. What else would it be? ...Who the fuck're you again?"

he recognizes you enough to ask 'again'! progress! also I guess he almost exclusively eats anomaly meat.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Oops. I lost all the money Lulu gave me. Better make a run for it before he notices."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I'm bored... Hey, you over there. Come play five finger filet with me. Gimme your left hand."

five finger fillet, also called the knife game, is when you put your hand on a table and stab the gaps between your fingers with a knife in a sequence! Of course, you can also play it with someone else's hand, as Taiga is suggesting. Obviously stabbing the hand being played with means you lose. Taiga's chibi plays it when he's idle!

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"They nabbed one of ours? You guys aren't toddlers. Deal with it yourselves."

it's fascinating that there's such a faction divide within Sinostra that members of Taiga's side get abducted by Romeo's, and probably vice versa. And I bet Taiga doesn't care about any of this. Or at the very least it's not that serious to him.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Gambling and shoot-outs are pretty much the same thing. Morons who panic mess up and get dead. Gyahaha!"

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"None of you morons have any flair for the table. Lulu needs to raise the minimum bet already."

isn't it your casino too. . .or even specifically it's in your name. . .can't you raise the minimum bet too. . . .

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"You're a real smooth talker, huh? Don't remember anything you said though. Ciao!"

your seduction attempt didn't fail because of a bad roll, it failed because taiga failed a perception check lmao. . . .

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Can't sleep? Sit over there. I'll deal the cards."

He'll play with you until you fall asleep. . .or maybe he'll sit around making ASMR card shuffling noises until you doze off.

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"...I'm not gonna play today. I'm sleeping. I don't care if the place is burning down— don't wake me up."

fun fact, he's making this face when he says this lol

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"What's that guy's name again? You know, the one who's gonna become a judge or a cop or something. ...Whatever, I'll just forget it again."

at least he was interested in knowing for a second! maybe he'll give him a nickname.

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I spy, with my little eye, a tasty-looking kitty-cat.... Come over here so I can pat you. ...Nah, changed my mind. Scram."

maybe it's just my interpretation but I like to think he's hungry and he saw you and he mindlessly tried to lure you closer because he wanted to eat you, then came to his senses and told you to go away so he wouldn't do something stupid like trying to eat a human. . . .

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"I'm starving... You, get my usual. It's breakfast time."

i wonder what his usual is. what's a good breakfast anomaly? Dagravnen? Latte? Pompillar to keep the doctor away?

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"How does Lulu always have so much energy this early in the morning? It it 'cause of all that expensive water he drinks?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Stop talking. I don't care."

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You going to bed already? Aren't you a good little kitty-cat. Whatever, do what you want."

he'd rather you stay up with him but he's not attached enough to try and make you stay up. . .yet.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"You want a surefire way to win at the table? Doesn't exist. You just gotta keep playing."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Hey, go warm up my bed for me. What do you mean how? Get in there, dumbass."

either you're gonna get fucked or you're gonna get disappointed when he really just wanted a warm spot that smells nice to lie in and he makes you leave after he gets in bed. Or maybe he'll let you sleep in the bed with him and use you as a little body pillow!

I'd also like to add that he's using the "adult" expression so uh. leaning more towards you're gonna get fucked here.

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Where you going, kitty-cat? Class? You don't need to go there. I got something more fun in mind for us."

the expression used here is once again simply labelled "adult" so. . . . No going to class and no going to sleep.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"That's it, kitty-cat. I feel like my luck'll change if you're around."

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm starving... This isn't enough... I want more... More..."

they've gotta stop letting him go so long without eating because he clearly loses his mind if he doesn't eat enough meat.

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I'm the only one who sees how fucked we are. But he won't believe me. So just let it all burn down—I don't give a shit anymore."

if Taiga sees the future or knows the future because of timeline/loop shit, then that Taiga doesn't seem to actively care much about being Captain or doing his job makes sense. He knows that if nothing changes everything's going to fall apart anyway so there's no point in trying. We don't really know what his stigma does either--in fact, his "good luck" could be that he can see and react to future events, so he knows things like what cards will be drawn and such. But he's getting tired of everything always going so bad no mater what he does in response to what he sees. And Romeo(? it doesn't say who he's telling about how bad things are getting) isn't helping to make changes. . .so he's just giving up. But now you're here, maybe you're different somehow. Maybe somehow you're an outlier in this timeline. Maybe injuring you was on purpose to change something in the future he saw. Maybe that's why he's telling you about the spy. . . .of course this is all speculation. Until we learn what his stigma does or what he means by 'ditch this future' then. . .all speculation. But there is a wickhive post that someone can see the future. And the more I think about it the more I wonder if it's Taiga. (also because i'm sure someone will point this out, the wording 'let it all burn down' is specific to the English dialogue, so it's not a callback to the pre-prequel sequence where the school is on fire.)

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"If you don't like pain then quit flailing around. I'm getting a taste of you, so close your eyes and shut up."

welcome back to the torture chair! You're probably getting cut like a piece of good meat before he just sinks his teeth into you! Your hands and legs are bound and he's not going to let you get away without eating at least a little of your flesh, so suck it up. That or scream and hope somebody comes to rescue you. . .but the desire to eat the pc never goes away. Most likely because he just wants to eat fresh meat in general and the more he likes someone and the more they hang around him the more he wants to eat them. . .although I assume he unlearned it and now you're here and he just can't help himself. . .if they did consume demons to become ghouls, I bet you're the only thing short of maybe Romeo that'll taste anywhere near as good as that demon did.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"You're not getting away from me, kitten. You're here till death do us part, whether you like it or not."

oh and also you're married. y'know in case you wanted to do that. or even if you didn't. you don't have a choice in the matter.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"(Yawn) Man, why am I so tired today... Someone spike my food?"

'hey did someone drug the anomaly they brought me to eat so that i would get sleepy if i ate it' baby the weather's just getting warm you're sleepy because spring is cozy

(between 11am and 4pm)

"What? Cherry blossoms? Is it that time of year already? Man, that snuck up on me."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Fuck it, I'm taking a nap. Come over here and be my pillow."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"What's with that vacant look on your face? You need more excitement in your life? Come over here, I'll play with you."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Too hot... Hey, I want my breakfast on ice. They got tons of it over on Jin's turf, go nab some."

hey uh why do you remember Jin by name. like i know Jin's short enough of a name to not need a nickname but also you remember not only Jin but where he lives and how cold it is? Then again you started in the same year, maybe Taiga remembers all the third years since he's known them for two years?

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Why don't we make a giant pool in Sinostra? It's so hot here. I'll put up the cash... Wait no, I used it all yesterday."

YOU COULD HAVE A NICE POOL IF YOU WERE MORE RESPONSIBLE WITH YOUR MONEY.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Quiz time—where's Lulu going all dolled up on a stinking hot day like this? Answer— he's cheating on me! Gyahaha!"

THEY ARE FEEDING MY SHIP WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAIGA JOKES THAT THEY'RE DATING. they have such awful married couple who hate each other but also love each other energy.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Shower? I don't wanna... Shut up and strip me already then."

man he has no fucks to give that you'd be taking his clothes off and seeing him naked huh. . . .

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Good weather for sports? You get a lot more exercise fighting to the death. Gyahaha!"

how frequently do you think he fights to the death. . .probably a lot less than he used to. poor baby needs his deadly enrichment. Also the fact that he finds the idea of fighting to the death fun explains why he smiles when he takes damage in combat lol

(between 11am and 4pm)

"That looks tasty. Gimme a bite."

so given one of the most common autumn foods in japan is like sweet potatoes(and also the pc probably doesn't eat raw anomaly meat) I assume this means he does eat normal food, just prefers to eat raw meat especially from anomalies? Either way, i am once again remind you to feed your Taiga.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"We're going out. I've been eating more lately and these guys are too slow. Gonna go stock up."

you've been eating more lately? because it's autumn? what are you, a bear about to go into hibernation?? also he's taking you grocery shopping i guess. or anomaly hunting. . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Watch your back. Way easier to jump people when it gets dark so early. Gyahaha!"

i'd like to think he stuck his gun under your chin and snuck up behind you from in the dark here lol

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"You trying to pull my covers off? Wanna die?"

my boy does NOT like being cold. Or getting up in the morning. So winter mornings? just leave him in bed.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I wanna go nab some food from Harry's place, but it's too cold for that shit..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh, I got an idea. I just gotta use someone as a punching bag to warm up. Hey you guys, stand over there."

Taiga beating the shit out of his own men because the exercise will keep him warm. . .why do people side with you again?

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I don't like the cold... Come on, come be my hot water bottle! Let me cuddle up to you!"

Getting all tangled up with Taiga under his blankets while he shivers because Sinostra is in a desert and deserts in the winter can be FUCKING COLD especially at night. It gets cold and he's just the whiniest little meow-meow. Until he gets hungry.

His birthday: (October 16th)

"Huh? Whose birthday? Mine? Gyahaha! Totally forgot about it! Grazie!"

it's okay Taiga, I forget my birthday too most of the time.

Your birthday:

"Is it your birthday today? That little twerp told me. Okay, you can take one thing from my room."

Ritsu fuckin doxed you? is that legal? Doesn't Taiga's room have like a pile of coins in it. . .is one coin 'one thing' or is 'the pile of coins' one thing. . .then again the background is AI generated so. not really sensible and doesn't say much about him sadly. considering taiga's described as spending his money wastefully I assume he buys a lot of random things he doesn't need or use--then again he probably spends most of it on gambling. But considering he's offering you anything out of his room, I assume there's a lot of nice stuff in there.

New Years: (January 1st)

"You gonna go skipping off to a shrine together just to get your fortune told? That's dumb. Here, let me guess what it'll say—you'll have an okay year."

the fact that he guesses your fortune is a tiny piece on the 'taiga can see the future' evidence pile but it's a piece nonetheless

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Is that for me? Sure I'll take it, but it better be edible."

i was gonna say 'has he never gotten valentine's day chocolates before?' but i remembered that he probably doesn't really remember if he has so. this is probably his general reaction to gifts lol 'is it money and if not can i eat it'

White Day: (March 13th)

"What's that expectant look on your face? Lulu was harping on about mimosas or something before. That what you want?"

of course he doesn't know what white day is lol but he does remember that Romeo had something tasty!

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"I'm gonna die soon, you know? And I'm taking Lulu with me. ...Gotcha! Gyahaha!"

wait you didn't remember white day but you remembered april fool's day? maybe someone tried to prank him first lol remember guys, suicide is not an appropriate april fool's prank!

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat. Where you gonna put your chips, kitty-cat?"

I think if you're trick or treating then they're supposed to decide if you get the trick or the treat. . .but it seems more like Taiga to give you something that could be a trick or a treat lolol russian roulette is a totally acceptable halloween party game right? of course!

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Come on Santa kitty, tie a ribbon 'round yourself and get over here. Gyahaha!"

at least he knows what gift he wants! unfortunately you don't know what for but based on his expression you may not get eaten. . .depending on your definition--

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"...This is boring. I'm outta here."

(13 affinity and above)

"Are you done yet? I'm hungry over here."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Long time no see! You decide to ditch this future too? Sorry I'm not dead yet."

AND HERE"S THE LINE THAT'S CAUSING SO MUCH SPECULATION. . .what does that even mean Taiga. . .what do you know, what have you seen. . .and can we fix this future instead of leaving it to rot--

UH. YEAH. I THINK I'VE SAID ENOUGH HAHA. . .everything Taiga says is so. . . ./gestures weakly) IT REALLY DOES SEEM LIKE MORE IS HAPPENING THAN YOU REALIZE RIGHT??? The game's still so early on we probably won't learn for a very long time lol. . . . But, yeah. Taiga definitely loves you--and lusts after you. As his affinity goes up, he asks "who are you" a lot less, did you notice? He starts to remember and just say "kitty cat" and "kitten", because that's who you are and he can remember that. So far the only people he remembers are Romeo, Hyde, and Jin it seems. And you.

[lokabrenna-writes]

Soukoku headcannons because they have taken over my life

(Remember how I said I don’t write romance? Guess there’s a first time of everything •v•)

Port Mafia

Dazai fell first and harder

They have matching rings they got from the arcade and wore them all the time until they eventually broke. The rings were bound to break eventually considering how many battles they had been through, but they didn’t break during a battle. The duo were arguing about who knows what for the millionth time and the rings just snapped. They looked down at the pieces of plastic that had hit the floor in silence for a few minutes. (“If Chuuya wanted a divorce he could’ve just said so.” “Shut up and go win us new ones.”)

They both have specific items they steal from each other whenever they’re going to be separated for some time (separate missions, hospital stays, etc.). Chuuya will steal Dazai’s black hoodie that has what looks like lightning strike decals on the sides of the sleeves. Dazai will steal Chuuya’s white blanket that has what is supposed to be a slug and a mackerel messily stitched in one of the corners from when Chuuya was first learning how to embroider. They always make sure to return it without the other noticing when they get back from wherever they were so the item will smell like the other when it’s time for the duo to be separated again. Of course, both know the other takes said items, but neither say anything.

They paint each other’s nails every now and then. Black is they’re default color but they’ve also tried various nude/pink shades, blues, reds, and some glitters.

They’ve both attempted eyeliner (liquid and pencil) and failed. Both ended up with the liner all over their eyelids, but that didn’t stop either of them from laughing at the other.

They were each other’s first kiss. It was 2 in the morning and they were watching a movie. Since they can never agree on what to watch, they have a bowl with random numbers in it and whichever number is pulled is what they type in on the tv. Tonight some romance movie had been selected. Neither were particularly interested but they watched anyways (mainly to see whose movie plot prediction was right). Chuuya was growing sleepy towards the end. Sleep never came easy to Dazai so he let his mind wonder why the kiss scene at the end was always made out to be this grand moment. He turned to Chuuya who had laid his head to rest on his shoulder. He tucked his finger under Chuuya’s chin to tilt his head up and connected their lips. It was quick, not nearly as drawn out as the one playing on the screen. Yes, they both liked dramatics but it’s important to not over do it. They both hummed as they broke apart. It was pleasant, but it was not firework worthy as the movies had made it seem. Chuuya rested his head again, this time in the crook of Dazai’s neck rather than the edge of his shoulder before saying “Next time put some chapstick on. Get the strawberry one.”

Dazai finds children to be annoying, but he doesn’t exactly like or dislike them. Chuuya adores children and finds them to be endearing. To Dazai, there is very little in this world that can make him laugh as children falling. He's not necessarily laughing because the child may or may not be hurt, but more so at the face they make when they're processing what happened and then start crying. Chuuya yells at him despite this explanation.

The first and last time they said "I love you" was the night Dazai left. Before placing the bomb under Chuuya's car, Dazai had used his spare key to enter Chuuya's apartment to take his car keys. An extra precaution to ensure Chuuya wasn't caught in the explosion. He was supposed to be in and out, but he couldn't resist checking on Chuuya one last time. He peeked into the bedroom to find Chuuya already fast asleep. He walked over and watched him for a bit, knowing it would be a long time before he would be able to do so again in peace. He reached in his pocket and applied the strawberry chapstick to his lips before leaning down to connect their lips. Chuuya stirred at the contact and even though he cracked his eyes open, it was clear his mind was still very much asleep. Dazai pulled back after a few seconds and placed the chapstick along with his spare apartment key on Chuuya's bedside table. He briefly debated on leave a note before deciding he had already been in the apartment for too long. The last thing he wanted was to make it seem like Chuuya knew of his departure beforehand. "I love you," Dazai said in a quiet voice. It took more in him to actually get the words out then he cares to admit. "I love you so much. Forgive me for what I'm about to do, especially to your car, but this is for the best." These words came out more broken then he intended, but he hopes he got his point across. "I love you too," Chuuya mumbled out, eyes shut and snuggling deeper into his pillow. Dazai would come to cherish the moment the second he stepped out of the apartment. Chuuya does not remember it, but believed those three words to have been merely apart of his dream.

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

inspired by @rogueddie 's post. Right Here.

120 minutes

2 hours they have been standing in front of this stupid claw machine. All because Eddie saw something inside that he was desperate to get. Whatever it was he was refusing to tell Steve who was now pressed up against the wall between the claw machine and some arcade machine. He’s confident that the other has blown at least a hundred dollars trying to get whatever he wanted.

His tongue stuck out in concentration, refusing to let Steve talk to him as it would distract him. Steve doesn’t think much of what the other is doing. The other boy did wacky things all the time. This was one of those times as he waits patiently for the other to finish. Willing to stay all night if that meant he was able to spend time with Eddie.

Five minutes later, when the boy starts hopping up and down and throwing his hands excitedly in the air. Smiling brightly at Steve before he’s turning, bending down, and grabbing whatever he caught from the slot. Pulling it back and putting it behind his back quickly before Steve could see. Moving forward into his space, a smile tugged on the scar on his face. Not leaving any space between them. A look of confusion crossed over Steve’s face trying to figure out what the other was doing.

“So what did you win?” He asks curiously, wondering what the other had spent all that time on. Must’ve been worth it by the smile on his face.

“Oh nothing,” Eddie says tiling his head to the side dramatically. “Just, you know. A bat.” He takes the moment to pull the plushie up holding it by the wing as he dangles it in front of Steve who was starting to think confusion was his default setting.

“Oh?”

“Oh? A man spends two hours winning you a stuffed bat and all you have to say is oh?” Eddie’s teasing is continuous. Constantly wrapping itself around Steve with a soft flush as a result.

Steve begins to stutter over his words as he lifts his hand up, holding the stuffy carefully in both hands. His heart swells up as he realizes Eddie spent all that time for him. As the realization hits a dopey smile grows on Steve’s face, seemingly what Eddie had been searching for as his eyes flicker down to the other's lips. Moving a hand up and carefully setting it on the wall next to Steve’s head. Not caring how close they were. Both of their faces were pink and their hearts beating fast.

“So, watcha gonna name it?” Eddie asks with a smile, one that was reserved for Steve.

“Ozzy.”

“Holy shit, I am just a simple peasant to your royalty. Oh holy one, please grace me with your presence at mine tonight.” Eddie pulls back starting to bow down at the other as Steve laughs at his antics.

“Is that your way of asking me out?” He teases playfully.

“Yes, I guess it is,” Eddie responds, hand aimlessly moving to twirl the bat's wing with his finger as he smiles brightly at the other.

[lycankeyy]

Jesus Christ these doodles already feel so old . I was not lying I really am using this fixation to speedrun learning to draw humans LMAO. Anyway I made some of those silly "understand ship in 5 minutes" memes with my Favorite pairings in funkycule au not ALL of them just the ones that I brainrot hardest about. If I did one for all of them we'd be here all day I'd probably hit image limit it's called the funkycule for a reason

ANYWAY infodumping/details under the cut:

BF/GF/Pico:

I am a "BF and GF are Fucking Tall™️" truther because it's funny to me. With BF it's harder to tell because his posture is absolutely atrocious but GF is just So Fucking Tall

I'm going to be honest with the gender headcanon for BF. I guess I default to him being transmasc but I can see him as. Like. Anything. In fact I think he's just every gender. But I'm a coward so he's transmasc for the purposes of the chart. GF is a girl but identifying her as "cis" or "trans" doesn't mean much when demon genders don't really work like that. It's complicated. Pico is just a guy

Pico likes being the big spoon because he likes knowing that his partners are safe. However GF likes being the big spoon More. The result is Pico Sandwich. He will never admit it but Pico feels the safest he ever has in his entire life when he is being Pico Sandwiched

BF is very much a verbal affection type of guy. Yes he is nonverbal. His words of affection are various dubstep noises. His partners appreciate it so much

BF grew up kinda spoiled and never really learned how to cook. However after noticing that Pico is like extremely bad at feeding himself (canon six pack means nothing to me. That boy is skin and bones I won't be told otherwise /silly) he for the first time managed to convince himself to try it and he got Really into it he's actually good at it. He still loses his mind when GF makes him pb&j sammiches for dinner though it's his favorite thing in the world

Pico is Insanely overprotective mostly because he's extremely hypervigilant and sees potential danger in everything. BF is the exact opposite and even in situations where he's in immediate danger he'll be ironically more worried about Pico getting too worried about it. GF is also pretty ditzy about this due to her confidence that her boys can handle Anything but if either of them ever got hurt she would explode everyone in a 50 mile radius with her mind so like that counts for something

Random headcanon: the group's favorite date night activity is looking up an extremely bad movie and then commentating over it like old-school rage youtubers the whole time in an effort to see who can get the others to laugh the hardest. BF wins often because the flatness of the TTS voice he uses adds something to the humor of it

Pico/Darnell:

I kinda bounced around with what label to use for Darnell for a while. I definitely see him as arospec, with the stipulation that he does feel romantic attraction just like very not traditionally and after a Long Time. After going between quoiromantic and demiromantic for a bit I landed on grey bc it's open-ended enough to encompass it. The point is it took Darnell like 3 full years to realize that his feelings were less platonic than he thought and even then theyre still like. Only half-romantic lmao

Unfortunately as he cannot provide the Pico Sandwich Darnell is getting little spoon'd by a guy nearly a foot shorter than him. F

Pico and Darnell are pretty verbally coarse with each other in a way only people who've been through the amount of shit they have been together can be w/o jeopardizing their relationship. That being said they often express affection and insane amounts of trust through actions very frequently, sometimes even without either of them realizing. Them immediately making up after weekend 1 was one of those times lol

I put Pico on the "squashes the bug" end of both charts but in reality I think he just takes them outside unless it's like a gnat or something. Darnell isn't scared of bugs he just wonders what would happen if he set one on fire. Pico refuses to let him set them on fire

Even though Pico 2 is in a weird limbo state in funkycule just like it is irl, there's still some point in the timeline where Pico expressed protectiveness over Darnell, to the point where, years later, when Darnell heard Pico took down a whole army for BF and GF, he got jealous, because that was supposed to be their thing >:(. This was quickly followed by his Oh moment

Random headcanon: Pico and Darnell had been acquaintances for the whole time they were in school together, but they became friends when Pico (and Nene by proxy) were the only kids to continue hanging out with him after The Class Presentation Gone Wrong (Darnell Plays with Fire). To return the favor, Darnell stuck by Pico even after the events of PS fundamentally changed him as a person. Though their relationship can be messy, they've been virtually inseperable since.

Nene/Cassandra:

The levels of toxicity of this are mostly dependant on When in the timeline by the time these two are like 21 they've normalized a bit dw lmao

Okay so like. I've made so much Lore. For Pico's School. For no reason. Anyway penilians have nothing against child soldiers so Cas was shipped off to infiltrate Earth at the penilian equivalent of 13. Also while on a surface level she's transfem in more depth it's like "all penilians are One Sex and have One Gender so technically she is xenogender, using neopronouns, and if you want to be extra silly with it, by the time she's 19 she's functionally alienkin but for humans as a coping mechanism for being banished to earth (dw abt it)"

[Projects my trauma and its side effects onto Nene] who said that

I didn't think much on the borrowing clothes thing until I realized that I draw Nene and Cassandra wearing the same style of turtlenecks I was like. Do you know what would be really funny

I don't have many intimate cute headcanons for these two Yet because I'm so early on in developing my shit and these two are Not cute at first. However I do like to imagine that Nene calls Cas all kinds of over-the-top cutesy or stupid nicknames just to get a reaction out of her. She called her a "vixen" as a furry joke + something between a compliment and insult once and she almost died

Nene is literally the only one in this entire cast who's never gotten her license suspended also she's somewhat good at car maintence which Cas find inexplicably hot

Giggles and kicks my feet at putting both Pico and Cassandra at the far end of the overprotectiveness spectrum. Anyway

Random headcanon: in the short period of time before Cas started ghosting Nene and FNF happening, they were in contact for One Christmas when they were like 15. Nene got Cas a cute little switchblade with hearts carved into the handle. Cas keeps it in a box by her bed and refuses to let anyone touch it or to let it ever get dirty.

If you have read this far I love you. Here is your reward should you choose to accept it:

[gh0stsp1d3r]

ℳ𝒶𝓎𝒷𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇

Part 3 chapter 2- can I kiss you?

Series masterlist

Warnings: bullets, mentions of blood + getting shot, mentions of abuse

“Who are you calling fifty times?” Rafe asked Topper, who set his phone down on the bar. Topper turned to Rafe. “Huh? Who’s not answering?”

“I don’t know, Rafe, uh… does your sister ever do what she says she’s gonna do?”

“Not really, no.”

“Oh.”

“Ah! How’d she screw you this time?” He asked topper, handing him a glass of whiskey.

“So I did your sister a favor, right? Got reamed by my mom, I mean, it’s a shit show, man. So I do this favor, she’s like ‘oh I’ll hit you tonight.’ It’s tonight. Haven’t heard a thing, been calling her. Nothing. She’s just ignoring me. So, I don’t know, man.” He rambled.

“Listen, listen. Let’s sit.” Rafe patted his back, Topper sat down.

“Uh, she’s playing you like a fiddle, bro.”

“No.”

“She’s been playing you since day one.”

“It’s a lot different now.”

“You know why she can’t hit you up right now? It’s cause she’s with John B.”

“Listen, Rafe. She is not with John B.”

“Oh, okay.”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

“Well, she thinks she’s a pogue now. As soon as they think that, they’re gone, bro. Speaking from experience.” He shrugged.

“Can’t trust a pogue, not that you could trust her anyways. And now she’s with John B and you’re looking at me like I’m the bad guy? She’s gonna keep doing this, again and again and again..” he continued.

Topper stood up, downing the rest of his drink.

“Just playing you like a fiddle.”

“I’ll catch you later, Rafe.”

“All right, Top.” He raised his glass, smirk on his face. He was right, and Topper knew it. “Was good to see you.”

———

Everyone sat down in the Chateau, John B had taken himself to his room, Kiara strummed her ukulele, and you and Sarah played a game of “who’s dad sucked more?”

“My dad faked his death. Like… twice.” Sarah shrugged, taking a sip.

“My dad once made me drink a bottle of beer to calm me down when I was 6 because I threw a temper tantrum when he hit me.” You narrowed your eyes at the girl.

“My dad tried to kill all of my friends, more than once.”

“My dad stole 670 bucks from me on my 15th birthday so he could buy more heroin.”

“I think y/n already wins, by default.” Pope pointed at you, making you smile.

“Yeah, I thought so.” Sarah shook her head with a smile, getting up and going into John B’s room with two bottles.

“I never thought my trauma would ever make me win. This is great. Anyone else wanna play?” You asked.

“Think you beat everyone here.” Cleo said with a laugh, watching you chug the beer can you had and tossing it in the trash.

“I should go play for the nba.” You mumbled to yourself, JJ laughing.

“So, what type of plane is it?” Cleo asked, her and Pope playing mancala on the table.

“Well, it’s wards so im guessing something fancy.”

“That’s what I’m talking ‘bout, flying private, baby!”

JJ sat next to Kiara, her movements pausing and her putting her instrument down.

“Hey, kie. You know, that whole entire money clip and dad situation?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, um, that wasn’t that cool, and im kinda beating around the bush a little bit, but, um, I’m…” he looked up, you heard a crackling noise and looked up as well.

“What the fuck?” You mumbled to yourself, standing up and rushing over to the window.

“What is that?” Kiara asked.

“That’s a fire.”

“Everybody get the fuck out!” You shouted at JJ and Kie.

Everyone dispersed, telling the others that were in the rooms.

“There’s a fire!”

“Get outta here, everyone get the fuck out!” You shouted at the teenagers, but before they could, it had reached the door.

You grabbed Sarah hand, getting her away from the door when she went over.

You watched some one pull away from the Chateau amongst the fire, a Range Rover you noted in your head. But you couldn’t worry about that right now. You had to figure out how to get out.

——-

The entire of the Chateau had been burnt to the ground. You all sat on a tree, feeling defeated.

“Could’ve been a faulty electrical wire.”

“Place was all wood.”

“It wasn’t an accident.” You mumbled.

“What?” They turned to you now.

“I.. saw a car pull away from the Chateau when I pulled Sarah away from the door. A Range Rover. It had to be some kook.” You told them.

“And you’re just now telling us this?!” Kiara asked.

“I was the one who got us all out of there alive, so don’t.. give me that bullshit. I was waiting until we were all out, and safe. Fuck.” You hit your head against the tree.

“Verdicts in, bro. Whoever’s up there does not like you.” JJ said, patting John B’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

You sighed, grabbing a glass bottle and throwing it towards the burnt house.

——

“Sarah, when did you say the pilot was getting in?”

“Probably like an hour? I mean, once he’s here, my dad says we can leave whenever we want.”

“Okay, well, as much as I would love to ghost my parents again, I can’t.”

“Pope, we’re talking El dorado here. Can you just like slip out the back maybe?” JJ asked.

“Great advice.” Kie shook her head.

“It always worked for me. How to avoid unpleasant circumstances 101. If there’s a problem and you don’t wanna face it-“

“Turn that face and keister around, and walk the other way.” You rolled your eyes, finishing his sentence, remembering that you had always told him that. Although that never stopped him from getting into his fights.

“I’m not doing that, okay?” Pope told him.

“I just want you to be there, dawg.” JJ sighed.

“I’m gonna be there. I’ll meet you guys in the airstrip in an hour?”

“Yeah, we’ll see you there.”

“One hour, pope. Not a second later.”

“Shit, any of you guys gotta phone I could use? I gotta call in sick, I guess.” You remembered.

“Is that really important right now?” John B asked you.

“Yeah, it is. You know how damn hard it is to get a job recently?”

“There’s probably one up at that gas station across the street.” Sarah nodded in the direction.

“Okay. I’ll be right back, swear.”

“You want me to come with?” JJ asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m good. It’s not that far.” You began to walk off the dock, and towards the gas station.

You rummaged through your pockets for some change, glad that they still had a pay phone outside. “Fuck.” You mumbled, realizing you hadn’t had enough.

You looked around, and you spotted a familiar vehicle parked at one of the pumps.

“Oh my God.” You muttered. This would only happen to you.

Rafe walked out the gas station. You turned around, trying your best to hide yourself. But you heard him chuckle and say something.

“Funny seeing you here, y/n.”

“Rafeeee…” you drawled out, giving him a small smile. “Just the person I wanted to see.” You said sarcastically.

“What are you uh… doing out here..? Awfully far out, aren’t you?”

“Well, actually, my cousin works here and he asked me to bring him something since he’s doing an overnight.”

“Huh. Where’s your car then?”

“That’s none of your damn business, is it?” You snapped.

He held his hands up in defense. “Sorry. Sorry. I’ll get out your hair, but it was nice seeing you.”

“W-wait, Rafe.” You mentally faceplamed at yourself.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. Can I use your phone? I really, really, need to call someone.”

He hesitated, before grabbing his phone out his pocket and unlocking it before handing it to you.

“Thank you..”

You typed in your jobs number, telling both of them you’d be out sick probably for a while, out with a virus.

“A virus, huh?” Rafe asked when you handed it to him again.

You shook your head. “I got shit to do, and I’m not trying to get fired in the process.”

“Makes sense.” He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against a wall.

It was silent between the both of you before he spoke up again.

“Hey, I’m- I’m sorry if I uh… overstepped last time we talked. I was… drunk, and I… I dunno, I just feel bad about it… if that makes sense.”

Him apologizing was not what you expected. You stared at him, your mouth agape. You looked into his eyes and he seemed sincere.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, and he got off the wall, slowly walking towards you. His hands tangled into your hair, and made their way to the back of your head.

He leaned down, until his lips ghosted over yours. Your heart pounded and your eyes searched his.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked you quietly. Your nod was all he needed to move closer, your lips moving against each other.

But this kiss was different than the one in his bedroom, it was gentle, more loving. Your hands were on his chest, and oh god how you missed this.

Once he leaned away from the kiss, he cradled your face in his hands.

“I miss you. And I know I fucked up on the boat, and before that, but I want you to know I’m trying to change.” His thumb stroked your cheek.

“I… I miss you too. But, Rafe… I… I don’t know if it’s the best idea right now.”

“Is this about your brother still?”

“I- Rafe, it’s about everything. I got a lot going on right now.”

His hand fell from your face. “I get it.”

“Rafe-“

“I do, I get it. But all I want is for another chance to make things right. That's all I'm askin’ for.”

You sighed. “I… I have to go somewhere for a while, but when I come back, we can talk, alright?”

He nodded. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” He gave you a small smile.

“Yeah. I’ll see you.” You nodded back. He went close to you again, giving you another quick kiss before pulling away.

You leaned against the wall, sighing in relief when he walked away. You waited until he left the gas station to run back to the dock.

“Shit, sorry.” You panted as you ran up to them all.

“What took you so long?” JJ questioned with a quirked eyebrow.

“I had to ask people for their phones, and not a lotta people are nice I guess.”

“Whatever, I’ll see you guys on the tarmac!” JJ told them, you waving bye to them.

Kiara followed behind, “Hey, Jayj, wait. Hey. Um…”

You looked at them both, you standing there awkwardly. Kiara stared at you expectantly.

“I’m just gonna… yeah.” You snapped your fingers, turning back around and beginning to walk.

———

Rafe’s head swam in his thoughts. His unexpected visit with you resolved one of his problems, but he still had another major one. His dad.

“There’s no going back.”

Rafe paced the room, nervously biting his hands, his leg bouncing when he sat down.

He knew what he had to do. He drove over to where his dad was laying low, going over to his dad, fishing and drinking beer at the river.

“I need you to leave.” He told Ward.

“Oh, yeah? We talked about this already, Rafe.”

“I need you to go live your life in Guadeloupe. And you can let me live mine here.”

“I’m not gonna do that, okay?” Ward turned around, looking out into the water again.

“You realize… hey, you realize what could happen if you stay?”

“What could happen, Rafe?”

“What could happen? The police could find you here. Easy. And then, it’s… it’s done, you’re gone forever. Or something much worse.”

At his son’s words, Ward snapped his head around, standing and looking at him now.

“Much worse.”

“What have you done, son?”

Rafe walked towards him. “It’s not gonna be good if you stay.”

———

You and JJ walked through the house, you looking at the reminders of your dad while JJ shoved his clothes in a bag.

“You good?” He asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” You looked at him, shaking your head and going back into your old room.

You grabbed everything you possibly could, looking around the room. Your whole life, packed into it. It would be gone when you came back.

You came back out, looking at JJ grab things as well. You grabbed your camera, a flashlight and maybe a couple bottles of beer as well.

A car engine outside made both of your heads snap to the window. He looked at you and you looked at him.

“What the hell?” You mumbled, telling him to get away. You looked out the window.

“Oh shit. It’s Mike.” You looked at him.

“Shit. Shit.” JJ mumbled, both of you getting down and hiding.

“JJ! Y/n! It’s your ol’ buddy, Mike. You lost my load. Time to pay up!” He shouted from outside. “All right, we’re gonna do this your way. Hmm?” He grabbed his gun, cocking it.

“I’m coming in, y/n! Yeah, I know you’re in there.” You both leaned against the wall, you motioning for him to go the other way.

Mike opened the door, both of you panicking now.

“We’re gonna do this your way.” He repeated.

JJ ran out the door, grabbing his backpack. You glanced around, where the fuck was yours?

JJ was outside, and he looked around. You were still inside.

It took you a minute to find it, but you grabbed your backpack.

“It’s gonna be a lot easier if you do it now.”

He was getting closer, if you ran out, you risked JJ getting found. And if you didn’t, you risked getting shot.

You didn’t know what to do. Your heart pounded and tears threatened to fall.

A memory flashed in your mind for a second.

“Jayj!” You cried out, watching him get repeatedly punched by another boy on the playground. You didn’t know what to do.

“JJ!” You gasped when the boy was finally pulled off and Jj was left laying on the ground. You cried, tears hitting his body.

JJ had taken those hits for you after he had caught some boy making fun of you.

He had taken those hits for you then, so you would take this one for him. You stood there, just trying to give him enough time to run. You held your breath, as silent as you could possibly be.

Mike found you before you even realize it, and started to fire upon seeing you. You ran outside, hoping to God JJ was already far away.

“Y/n.” He whispered, watching you run into the woods, Mike already had lost you both.

You panted and fell behind a tree, JJ ran over and grabbed your arm, asking what was wrong.

Mike glanced around, shouting as he looked around outside

You and JJ hid behind a tree, he glanced at your leg, blood seeping through your pants as you set your bag down. “Oh… my god.”

“Fuck.” You gasped, holding your leg. You cried out, JJ grabbed your backpack and helped you up, noticing Mike getting even closer.

He grabbed a stick, handing it to you. You put it in between your teeth as to muffle your pained cries. JJ put his arm around you, helping you walk.

“Shit, stay with me, alright?”

“Mmhmm.” You groaned out through the stick.

“You’re gonna be fine, shit, why didn’t you fuckin’ run?” He cried out, and that’s when you noticed he was crying as well.

You looked at him, he sat you down when you both were far enough. He rolled up your pants, you crying in pain as you looked at the wound.

“Shit.” He mumbled, and began to rummage through his bag, grabbing a shirt of his and putting pressure on the wound.

You screamed, stick still muffling your noise. You grabbed onto JJ as he tied the shirt around your leg, hiding your face in his shoulder.

“Fuck. Okay. Uhm… are you okay? Never mind, dumb question. I’m gonna take you to Ricky’s, or something, okay? I’m sure he’ll know what to do, and I’ll stay back with you-“

You took the stick out your mouth, panting heavily and cutting his sentence off.

“I’ll be fine.”

“What? You just got shot-“

“JJ, listen to me.” You grabbed his face in your hands. “We’re getting on that damn tarmac if it’s the last thing I fucking do. I am going to be fine, and I will find a doctor or something when we get there. I’m sure healthcare is much more affordable there than it is here.” You joked, he looked up at you.

He was so confused on how in the worst situations possible, you made it better.

You wiped your finger over his face, wiping his tears away. “You hear me?”

He nodded. He felt like he was a child again.

“Now help me get the fuck up, please?” You gave him a small smile, he stood up and wrapped the arms around him again. You wincing as you stood up.

——

On the tarmac, John B and Sarah stood. They saw you both come up.

“Why is he helping her walk?” Sarah asked.

“Was he.. crying?”

One thing about JJ, he never does that.

“What the fuck happened? Are you okay?” Sarah asked when JJ came up to them, she immediately helped you stand up, giving Jj a break as he breathed heavily.

“Mike fuckin’ came up, shot her right in the leg. She’s fine. But I swear to God, the second I see him it’s on sight.”

You gave them a thumbs up, smiling at Sarah.

“She can’t.. she can’t come, dude.” John B said. “We gotta take her to a hospital or something-“

“Dude, I said the same thing.” JJ told him.

“I’m fine. I told you I’m fine. All I need right now is some alcohol, and probably for it to be cleaned. I can do this.” You shrugged. “Can I have my bag?” You asked JJ, he handed it to Sarah.

“C’mon.” Sarah helped you up into the plane, and grabbed one of the first aid kits hidden in there.

“Thanks, Sar.”

“Of course.” She said, giving you a small smile. She stayed focused when cleaning your wound, apologizing every time you winced.

“I would just sit here for a little, okay? Don’t walk on it or anything for a while.”

“Yeah. Thank you, again.”

She nodded, heading back outside the plane. You smiled and leaned back, grabbing a beer bottle from your backpack.

It’s been a while, and they’re all still outside. You were asleep, comfortable on the seats and leaning up against the window.

“Y/n. Y/n.” JJs voice interrupted your lovely sleep. You grumbled and stirred, slowly opening your eyes.

“What?”

“I gotta go get Kie, you gon’ be okay here?” He glanced down at your leg and back at you.

“What? What’s wrong with Kie?” You asked, concerned.

“She’s not here, we think her parents are keeping her home or something.”

“What? Let me come with.”

“Are you serious? You can’t even walk.”

“Actually, I can kinda walk. Plus, I think you forget how good I am at sneaking out.”

He raised an eyebrow, your leg saying otherwise.

“That was the only time I’ve gotten caught okay?” You rolled your eyes. “And I did it to save your ass.”

“I know, I know, but-“

“Jayj. Take me with you before I shoot you.”

“I ain’t falling for it this time.”

“Be careful, okay?” You sighed. He nodded.

“His loss.” You mumbled, watching as he left. You leaned back onto the window, stretching your legs and arms, before going back to sleep.

——-

Taglist:

@cassie0sstuff @fals3-g0d @tiaamberxx @callsignwidow @saintnourah @calmoistorm @rafesgiirl

[opbackgrounds]

What character(s) would you say are exceptionally well-written and why?

I mean, there are so many, it’s hard to choose. I will say I love all the characters from the Fishman Island flashback and am probably higher on Hody than most. Luffy is the perfect protagonist and Doflamingo is probably the best written villain. For as large as the main cast is, it’s incredible how good the quality is across the board.

But One Piece wouldn’t work without Luffy, so I guess he wins by default. He is the heart of the series, and to keep that energy for over 1000 chapters is nothing short of genius.

[to-my-emil]

luca's 2024 letter

so i did a whole analysis/explanation/infodump about luca's newest letter on my discord server and. figured i may as well post it here! theres a lot of fun tasty things in here and some confirmation of things that have been implied in previous letters which is fun to look at. please keep in mind i dont have the entirety of every character and manor game's lore memorized so while i did double check some things i mightve missed some stuff. anyway its all below the cut since its Long have fun :)

(also feel free to chime in with any thoughts/feelings/opinions/ideas!)

so theres three sections to this letter! im gonna go section by section, but some parts of the last section are mentioned earlier so uh. sorry if you havent read it yet (id recommend u do read it first)

so part 1 is pretty fun. luca is confirmed to have survived game 10 (which also features tracy, charles, and bonbon though we dont currently know who the fourth survivor participant is) And its implied that hes the only survivor of the game (according to the "fleeting victory" thats the assumption at least). his traits w being able to connect the ciphers is also officially tied into the lore here; there are in fact wires running underneath each arena (or at the very least whichever arena lucas game was in which we dont know yet iirc) so its canon that he can do what he does in matches and its not something that the detective incorrectly deduced lorewise (idk if any of the survivor abilities are Actually incorrect deductions/not actually things that theyre doing (like for example priestess's portals, etc that seem more far-fetched) but since we know hes done other things incorrectly (like "prisoner" and "psychologist" titles being in quotes/technically wrong) i figure he mightve gotten some of those wrong too). luca is also Super Fucked Up w an unusuable left arm (and his previous injuries which we know includes at Least severe brain trauma but likely physical trauma too considering his time in prison + the leg braces) so uhhhhhhhhhhh. my money is NOT on him for the next game.

which is the fun next thing to talk about: baron deross is making him do another game!! this confirms whats implied in emmas 2022 letter (she writes "I've won the previous round, for now" which implies a second round if not more), and probably means that helena and galatea would also go through another round even though its not confirmed yet. so far we dont have a record of what happens in any second manor game for a player who has won (as far as i remember); usually what happens is entire groups are eliminated before the game and the only survivor goes on to the next round to try again by default rather than having won the game (like murro and luchino). so far luca's second game is the only one we have ANY info about for a survivor whos won their first game; we know that alva is in it and its heavily implied ann is in it (we'll get to this later) so we'll likely find out what happens once we get either of their experiment letters. its also interesting that the baron seems to reveal more information about the experiments to luca after luca won his game, but its hard to know whether thats because luca is also a scientist or if he reveals that to everyone who wins. my guess is maybe the former bc u Know luca would have questions and theres also no mention of baron deross saying anything like that in emmas, galateas, or helenas letters.

on to section 2!!! (there was a slur against disabled people in the last line of this section so. thats whats blocked out)

OKAY SO. definitely confirmed that hes in a second manor game, its not even subtext its just right there. assuming the "mechanisms" refer to the same mechanisms that are running under the arena and connecting the cipher machines my guess is that this is what he used to shock other participants?? rather than just being to conduct electricity through himself like he does in the game?? idk thats just spaghetti at the wall its not clear here how he actually got shocked and why. it Is clear that he passed the fuck out at some point or another/his memory issues have gotten worse and the wiki points to that guy in his dream being hermann, so that's. interesting. theres an implication here that luca and hermann used to be closer, but once luca started w physics hermann went mmmm time to stop being a father. which. checks out knowing hermann. whats even more interesting is that luca calls hermanns ideas "ludicrous fantasies" that are neither idealistic nor realistic, because like luca you went and did THE EXACT SAME THING. BRO HE WORKED ON PERPETUAL MOTION. YOURE WORKING ON PERPETUAL MOTION. IM SORRY YOU CANT CLOWN ON UR DAD FOR RUINING HIS LIFE OVER PERPETUAL MOTION WHEN U DID LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING

anyway.

i do wonder if this is meant to imply that hermann was in fact actually working on a More ridiculous version of perpetual motion or if luca is just biased as hell against hermann. im banking on the latter there is no way in hell that luca is a reliable narrator considering all his memory issues + his general tendency to outright grab people hes mad at by the throat (<- fun fact we see this at least twice once in alvas backstory video and again in gattos backstory video. luca is the same across all timelines). also implications that hermann became an alcoholic. im guessing as a kid luca was told it was medicine and he hasnt put the pieces together?? or its ironic. idk could be either with him. i highly doubt its actually medicine. ALTHOUGH. theres an alternate explanation here; when luca says "swallow them down" i initially thought he was referring to hiding his "final feelings", since sometimes swallowing down feelings is a phrase used for that kind of thing. but potentially this could be implying that hermann had luca take some kind of medicine potentially to get rid of those feelings in some way?? personally i think its the former because we already know hermann was wasting his life and money so becoming an alcoholic would be an easy answer, but this is probably just because i dont have any answers if it were the latter. something to think about

now the third part, which gives us info about the next manor game!

so first the "gaunt old man" is (according to the wiki which i agree with in this case) mad eyes, which makes sense because mad eyes was involved in game 8/9 right before this and game 10 was filled with inventors + bonbon so it only makes sense he was there. no idea where he went though. whats more fun is that luca is now In The Fucking basement Walls where mad eyes used to be bc luca doesnt trust the rest of the participants. considering the "abnormal eyes" and that alva is here we know for sure that this is those related to the eye of darkness cult, which means ann is also definitely there. whats even more interesting is that this implies the existence of at least one more member of the eye of darkness cult whos going to be in this game; luca says "new participants" and "these people", and considering how specific the letters usually are with other things i would guess hed say "those two" if it were only ann and alva (of course its possible that theyre the only two have arrived at the writing of this journal, but considering he refers to a ritual coming up soon my money is on all the participants being of the cat cult except luca). luca makes a good note that this new game is likely the opposite of the previous and more focused on religion/spirituality which checks out w the participants, but DAMN hes an asshole about their writing style LMAO. sorry luca not everyone can have the same notes u do

the "brother in faith" guy here is alva, and i personally believe that he can in fact believe see through walls just bc thats funny as hell. just kidding its likely because luca is not as subtle he thinks he is because alva Literally Knows Him. other people might not be able to know hes there but like. that guys also a scientist. hed be able to figure out that theres someone in the walls AND he does in fact know luca. its difficult to tell bc of lucas memory issues but this probably also implies that alva looks very different from how he did in life (i doubt its as tall/etc as in his hunter form since thats what they all see when drugged not what he Actually looks like but im sure theres some stuff like his shorter hair/grayish skin/etc that carries across). i for one am fucking thrilled that theyre in a game together bc oh my god this is a time bomb and im just waiting to watch it explode (again).

as for the last line about a ritual... teehee. im very excited for whatever this is going to be and its killing me that this is the Only Information we have on it so far. likely we're going to have to wait for more alva and ann letters on this one, as well as whoever the third eye of darkness cult member is going to be, but i have no doubt that we'll have some more info eventually. if i had to take a guess its going to heavily affect how game 10-2/11 turns out; i highly doubt any ritual goes on without a sacrifice, and, well... theres only one guy here whos not already part of the cult. things are not looking great for lucas future.

[the-himawari]

A3! Usui Masumi - Translation [SSR] MANKAI Feature (3/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Izumi: All three of your costumes and makeup look good to go.

Sakuya: Thank you!

Chikage: I didn’t expect I would appear as well.

Sakuya: I’m happy I get to act as Blanc again! Let’s do our best, Masumi-kun!

Masumi: …Yeah.

Izumi: Are you going to be alright, Masumi-kun? I heard you had a tough time with your role study…

Masumi: It’ll be fine. I asked Tsuzuru to make us act just like we always do.

Izumi: (I see. So that’s why the script is…) Alright, let’s start filming then. Break a leg, everyone!

-pause-

Izumi: (Nero and Blanc are walking through the city on their way home from shopping. Nero suddenly stops when he hears a melody playing from a streetvision.)

Nero [Masumi]: “…”

*flashback starts*

Blanbun: “Take that! We’re not gonna lose to you!”

Whibun: “That’s because we’re—"

*flashback ends*

Nero & Blanc: “The strongest Rabbit Twins!”

Nero [Masumi]: “Ah.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Ahaha. Jinx!”

Izumi: (What played on the streetvision was a toy commercial from a show called “Rabbit Twins”.)

Blanc [Sakuya]: “This anime sure takes me back. Watching the twin rabbits beating up wicked grownups was really cool, wasn’t it?”

Nero [Masumi]: “Yeah.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “I’ve been seeing a lot of their merch around these days. I wonder if it’s getting popular again due to their revival?”

Nero [Masumi]: “…I wonder if we've been able to become like them.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Hm?”

Nero [Masumi]: “Never mind.”

-pause-

Izumi: (The two were called to the office, and once they arrived, Uryu was the one who greeted them.)

Uryu [Chikage]: “I come bearing good news. I’ve got a tantalizing job that only you twins can handle.”

Nero [Masumi]: “Eh~. What the hell?”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “That sounds sus.”

Uryu [Chikage]: “Haha. Your distrust is showing clearly on your faces. Now. Now. Please take a gander at the materials.” “It’s a job related to the commercial characters for a new game from a major gaming company.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Wait, what!?”

Nero [Masumi]: “You weren’t kidding when you said it was a tantalizing job!”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “And look, Nero! This new game is…!”

Nero [Masumi]: “A game for the Rabbit Twins…!?”

Uryu [Chikage]: “Indeed. This work has been gaining popularity again these days.” “It seems the project this time will be a tag-team match between V-talents over the commercial characters of the game.” “Are you two in?”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “You don’t even have to ask!”

Nero [Masumi]: “It’s a no-brainer we’re gonna do it.”

Uryu [Chikage]: “I thought you’d say that. The materials also contain the list of your opponents, so take a look.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Let’s see~… Ah, these V-talents are…”

Uryu [Chikage]: “Oh, them. They’re twin V-talents who have been gaining traction these days.”

Nero [Masumi]: “Right, I feel like I’ve been seeing their names here and there lately.” (Twin V-talents…) “We absolutely have to win.”

-pause-

*both unleash attacks*

Nero [Masumi]: “You’re too slow, Blanc! I just told you to pay attention, didn’t I? Follow me properly!”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “M-My bad…”

-pause-

Uryu [Chikage]: “Now, now. This is just practise. Why don’t you relax and tone it down a bit?

-pause-

Nero [Masumi]: “We absolutely have to win this time. If we don’t, then we’re—”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Nero…”

-pause-

Uryu [Chikage]: “Oh dear… this might be a bit worrying for the real match.”

-pause-

*both take hits*

Izumi: (As Uryu feared, both of them are a mess in their first match against the twin V-talents.) (Meanwhile, their opponents unleash a combination without using words, and Blanc and Nero are defeated in a flash.)

Commentator: “Holy! What a spectacular combination. It’s like they used telepathy! That’s twins for you—oh, I guess they both are though.”

Nero [Masumi]: “…Tsk.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Hey, Nero. Why are you so anxious?”

Nero [Masumi]: “…Shut up.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Geez… I don’t understand you, Nero.”

Nero [Masumi]: “!” “That’s right… I mean, we’re just fakers. We can’t beat real twins.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “…!” “…”

*Blanc beams out of the game*

Nero [Masumi]: “…Blanc. I don’t understand you either.”

-pause-

Uryu [Chikage]: “Nero, have you found Blanc yet?”

Nero [Masumi]: “No… so much time has passed, yet he hasn’t come home… What do I do…!”

Uryu [Chikage]: “Do you have any idea where Blanc would go?”

Nero [Masumi]: “Any ideas… I’ve got nothing.” “…If we were real twins, then maybe we could understand each other through telepathy. But we’re different.”

Uryu [Chikage]: “Whether it’s real or fake is indeed important.”

Nero [Masumi]: “…”

Uryu [Chikage]: “However, you guys are the real deal, aren’t you?” “What’s important isn’t your blood ties or your family register. It’s the time you spent and the feelings you hold for each other.” “That’s why, if it’s you, then you should definitely know where Blanc is.”

Nero [Masumi]: “Blanc…” “…That’s right. He might be there!”

-pause-

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Nero…”

Nero [Masumi]: “…So you really were here.” “When we were little, we once ran away from the orphanage together.” “The place we ran was to the toy store. And this was where we first encountered the Rabbit Twins.” “We swore that we would become the best and strongest twins too.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “…That’s right.”

Nero [Masumi]: “That’s why there’s no way we can lose in this project. We have to become the strongest twins there are.” “Just like these two…”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “…! I think so too.” “What the heck? We felt the same way all along, didn’t we?”

Nero [Masumi]: “Let’s win the next match for sure.”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Yeah!”

-pause-

Izumi: (And so, they reached the final match for the project.)

Nero [Masumi]: “Let’s go, Blanc!”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “Okay, Nero!”

Nero & Blanc: “HAAA!!”

*both unleash attacks*

Commentator: “CRITICAL HIT! The match goes to Nero and Blanc!”

Nero & Blanc: “We did it!”

-pause-

Uryu [Chikage]: “…It looks like they’re back on track.”

-pause-

Commentator: “Congratulations on the win! Any comments for us?”

Blanc [Sakuya]: “That was only natural, right?”

Nero [Masumi]: “Yeah. Because we’re—”

Nero & Blanc: “The strongest twins, Nero and Blanc!”

-pause-

Sakuya: Great job out there! Thanks, Masumi-kun. I had so much fun.

Masumi: …Well, the play wasn’t bad. I feel like... I had fun too.

Izumi: You two were amazing! Nero and Blanc were totally in sync. You were just like real twins.

Sakuya: Thank you so much…!

Masumi: I’m glad if you say so…

Chikage: I take it your role study was useful?

Masumi: Rather than role study… I just got Tsuzuru to make the story about the issues I thought of while I was preparing for my role. … (Chikage mentioned that you can become a family even if you’re not related by blood. That’s not a lie. I know I feel that when we’re acting.) (But I have a feeling he was also talking about someone else besides us.)

Chikage: Hm? Is there something on my ring?

Masumi: …It’s nothing.

Chikage: Are you sure?

Masumi: (I’m sure Chikage also has things he doesn’t want to be asked. We’re family, so it’s alright if I don’t ask about it right now.)

Izumi: In any case, Masumi-kun and Sakuya-kun were spot on in today’s play. But Masumi-kun and Chikage-san were also perfectly in sync.

Chikage: Well, you know.

Masumi: Even if we don’t purposely try to match each other, it just happens.

Chikage & Masumi: …Because we’re family.

---

previous |

[despazito]

hey! I was wondering if you ever watch clints reptiles - he just posted a video about marcupeal phylogeny and specifically mentioned thylacines, and talked about how theres been sightings in new guinea? i was just wondering about your opinion, since you just posted a new thylacine drawing and i know youre very interested in them :D

idk, the fact i haven't heard all that much buzz about this theory from the zoologists i follow on twitter makes me doubtful by default.

i'll be honest i'm pretty skeptical of this new guinea claim because of dingoes and new guinea singing dogs.

the popularly accepted theory for the mainland extinction of the thylacine and likely tasmanian devil was competing pressure from dingoes.

clint mentions all of this, but he leaves out the fact that dingoes arrived on the australian continent from the north and studies indicate that dingoes may be descendants of more basal new guinea singing dogs. that would likely mean imo that the new guinea thylacine population, if anything, would be the first to suffer the consequences of canine encroachment.

only on the island of tasmania where absolutely no dingoes were ever present sheltered a 100% verifiable thylacine population by the time of european colonization. to my knowledge, the most recent solid physical evidence of thylacines in new guinea is still several thousand years old. so to me it seems that dingo/wild dog distribution and thylacine distribution mixed as well as oil and water. If there's thylacines in new guinea, it would have to be some enclave free of dogs.

i know the topography of new guinea can give refuge to very cryptic animals, and as clint said the relatively low human population and no european persecution is a plus. i won't disocount local indigenous anecdotes because they've been proven right with other species once thought extinct, but like where are skins or bones or footprints?

also i feel like clint really really oversimplified the cloning process thylacines would require. he makes it seem like it would be simple because we have their whole genome sequenced and have specimens under 100 years old to work with. the thing is, cloning a mammoth is simpler than cloning a thylacine even though they went extinct millenia ago, because mammoths still have a close living relative.

a cursory look at google tells me wooly mammoths and extant asian elephants last shared an ancestor as recently as 6 million years ago, they both belong to the family elephantidae. thylacines however were the last living member of their own family, thylacinidae, which diverged somewhere around 25mya from the other dasyuromorphs. scientists don't really have a close living relative to work with. clint says the complete genome means we wouldn't have to "stick frog DNA in there" to complete it, but the thing is with cloning you have to start with a frog/living DNA sample to tweak it into a thylacine!! until we can 3D print an organism out of thin air with proteins and acids, there has to be a template sample of living cells whose nuclei we can tamper with. and the less related they are, the more DNA has to be overhauled

if you wanna learn exactly how much of a logistical nightmare it's gonna be to clone a thylacine, this lecture explains it way better:

the takeaway analogy is that cloning a thylacine is the CRISPR equivalent of doing a puzzle of a clear blue sky, not having the box to look at for any reference, and about half the pieces are doubles of other pieces (because most DNA is junk code that does nothing). it's like next to impossible and i still have more faith in de-extinction than a rediscovery.

so yeah, i guess i'm a bit of a thylacine doomer. but i do want to believe, just temper your expectations. to me a win would be a single engineered thylacine cell by the centennial of their extinction lol.

[wispstalk]

wip wfriday

thanks to @sylvienerevarine for the tag <3 here's a bit from abi's story. tagging back: @ehlnofay @dirty-bosmer @nuwanders @jiubilant @zurin I've been writing short interludes at the end of each section featuring Tanis and Martin. I want to incorporate more of the cosmology than I did in Idle so this is the framing device. Also this will ultimately be a story about Going To Your Stupid Fucking Job and neither of them are really doing theirs. Benefits of being a god, I guess. Abi is scion to both of them as both prisoner and dragonborn, so they have a bet going over who gets custody of her soul. Sheo has to work for it, but has the agency to do so. The Avatar of Akatosh would win the bet by default, but can't act on the mortal world. So they get together from time to time to do their favorite activity together, which is bickering.

Text below the cut.

Above the dancing aurora, the Avatar is waiting. Sheogorath gathers all his scattered matter from among the cosmic wind and the dragon curls around to meet him.

“Ah, that’s nice,” the Madgod sighs, and sprawls among its golden coils. “You lucky lizard, you get to sit around and watch while I run myself ragged. It’s a real drag, I love sitting. And I have such an excellent throne.”

“You ought to get back to it,” rumbles the dozing dragon.

“Couldn’t if I wanted to. Your kinswoman’s a ruthless taskmaster,” Sheogorath complains. “Puts Peryite to shame. But I have managed to find time for leisure reading.”

He flashes the cover of the Oghma Infinium and waggles his eyebrows. The dragon slits open one eye.

“Oh, yes, the Book that Knows!” Sheogorath crows. “The pages that peer into your very soul! The manuscript that mangles lesser minds. Bet you always wanted to get your hands on it. Might loan it to you, if you ask nicely.”

“I might be impressed,” says the Avatar, “if you were still mortal. Now you’re just boasting that you popped over to the neighbor’s to borrow a cup of rice.”

“Pah. Well, this is pointless, then.” Sheogorath chucks the book away and it tumbles into the airless void. He drums his fingers along the dragon’s scaly hide, pensive. “Was I impressive as a mortal?”

“Yes,” says the dragon, with something like a laugh. “At least, I always thought so.”