#so i have reconciled myself to being spoiled

[executiveibex]

oh FUCK first road to PALISADE ep is oN THE MAIN FEED NOW

[5-htreuptakeinhibitor]

the boondocks is so good. i dont know what black american archetypal character is missing from that show other than ahhh favorable portrayals of black queerness but 2005 (presumably) cishet man creation so you know how that goes.

[euphemiaamillais]

being ‘roommates’ with snowjanus headcanons

cw: 18+//mentions of sex//mentions of violence//throuple goals <3//college au

you guys met at uni at a freshers party and they thought you were hot, but they didn’t want to seem too forward by hitting on you so you guys all became good friends

they had put out an ad for a roommate (living off campus was expensive) and you were looking for any excuse not to live in a tiny dorm

they were sad to find out that you had a boyfriend, because they both wanted you so bad

for a while they had a competition between the two of them to see which one of them could hold your attention for the longest time

they almost had a falling out with one another over both being interested in you

however, they reconciled the day that you found out your boyfriend was cheating on you and you let both of them have you

after that, threesomes became a regular occurrence

whether or not you were at a party, or lounging around at home, you always ended up coming one way or another when you were with the two of them

sejanus liked to treat you like his girlfriend, so he’d always bring you flowers or buy you expensive things if you pointed them out at the shops. being rich, he was able to spoil you

coryo thought it was a little much, considering you’d all established that it was a friends with benefits situation

not that any of you were sleeping with anyone else, you didn’t think you’d ever want to either seeing as you were so well satisfied by your boys

people would whisper at uni, finding it a little weird that you were so touchy with the both of them, but you didn’t care, you had them

coryo’s favourite thing was going down on each other at the same time—while you took his cock in your mouth, he’d sloppily eat your pussy

he loved the way you moaned against his cock as he made you cum, licking up your sweet juices

sejanus preferred to eat you out from behind as you tried to do your assignments, not giving up until he’d made you cum at least twice, in spite of your protests that you really needed to get your work done

sometimes the two of them would touch each other, and when you caught them you’d sit and watch, touching yourself to remind them that they were leaving you out, and it was awfully cruel to not let them have you

at parties you’d often sneak away and fuck each other in spare bedrooms, and on one occasion when you came out you saw their friend festus standing there

needless to say, he’d ended up with a black eye from coryo when he’d asked when it would be ‘his turn’ to have you, considering you let yourself be ‘shared around’ by coryo and sej

sometimes in classes you shared together, you’d tease them by rubbing your hand over their crotch, of course you were never daring enough to actually give them a handjob

but one day they decide to give you a bit of payback, and they both tease your cunt with their fingers, one of them rubbing at your clit while the other fingered you. you had to bury your head behind a textbook to avoid anyone seeing the way you were trying desperately not to cry out as they made you cum

you loved teasing them by sending pictures of yourself whether in lingerie that you’d picked out, or of you fucking yourself with your fingers

sometimes you’d even let them film you while you were fucking, your face buried into the mattress as they ploughed both your holes

your favourite video was of you sucking coryo’s dick, which you’d sent to sej one day when he was home visiting his parents. you were gagging around his cock as he thrust into you, while coryo teased you about how hard sej would be when he watched the video

the same time sej is away, you and coryo call him and he jerks off while coryo talks him through what he’s doing to you; ‘she’s so fucking tight sej, you wouldn’t believe how she looks right now, all fucked out and dumb on my cock.’ or ‘i filled her ass just for you sej, she kept complaining how much she missed having us both so i just couldn’t help myself’

making them go shopping with you and getting them to come in the changing rooms to ‘help you’ zip up your dress. needless to say, that usually ends with one of their cocks buried inside of you while you try to keep quiet

you also like trying on expensive lingerie and showing them, watching as they try their hardest to not get a boner in the middle of the shop

when you get home, they both decide to spend the entire evening seeing how far they can edge you, considering you decided to tease them so much while you were out. you end up begging, tears spilling down your cheeks as you clench around nothing—eventually, they let you finish, but only after a few hours of torturous fingering

you three would often play games with one another, for example you and sejanus might make coryo watch you two fuck, but refuse to let him touch himself, and see how he squirms and weeps, begging to wrap his hand around his cock

other times, coryo would get you to sit on sej’s cock but not move an inch, grinning at the sight of his friend trying his hardest not to thrust into you

you were very lucky, having two hot guys willing to do anything for you, and you were never short of satisfied, the boys making sure that you came at least once a day

and you wouldn’t have it any other way

[mikodrawnnarratives]

TW BLOOD

(bit ltr on)

TW REFERENCED CHARACTER DEATH

@naffeclipse

Part 1 | Part 2 | This is Part 3 | Extra

Gonna add some after comic shenanigans because I have thought of a LOT

It'll be linked as Extra

likely will be comprised of memes with maybe some serious

Long post under the cut!

And rambling right after like. a lot. jkfdjklsd

It’S DONE

Well besides the extras and memes I’ll include in another part that. I don’t know when I’ll finish. But stay tuned I’m gonna go ham. I can't wait to share the memes especially loll

Fair warning my rambling here gets a little all over the place so if I repeat myself. Sorry lol. 

If I knew how to include a second read more I would

anyway , I think I've made this comic lighter towards the end of this comic (both on purpose with the backgrounds and story lol) but this ending I hope is a combination of bittersweet and hopeful. Y/n gets to have a new family and connection to humanity that I think would be beneficial. 

How they’d take finding out Y/n is a VAMPIRE is it’s own can of worms that you can decide for yourself how would go down. Best outcome is that Y/n continues to watch over the generations influenced by Vanessa and her family during their immortality. 

Gregory and Cassie still haven’t been introduced in the Naff’s Cryptid Sightings universe by the time I post this, so if/when they are their characterization most likely will be different. And ggy likely won’t be placed in the au. Which is completely understandable! Tho an alternative path following canon fnaf more with 3 star fam, ggy n such is a concept I LOVE in the Cryptid Sightings world! I’ll go into it more ltr

Greg and Cass already have cryptid parents but now they get Uncle Eclipse and Uncle/Aunt/Pibling/Auncle/Etc Y/n. And Y/n gets to have one more purpose in protecting these ppl they will grow to care a lot about that knew Vanessa when Y/n couldn’t connect with her. Lots of sharing stories abt Vanessa occurs.

I’ll joke abt this in the extras & memes part but I think It would be so funny if Y/n can one moment be depressed and then Eclipse mentions Cass & Greg and they’re like “RIGHT I NEED TO PLAN HOW IM GONNA SPOIL THEM FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY” or “I LOST TO GREGORY LAST TIME IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN” or “I NEED TO CHECK UP ON THEM AND MAKE SURE THEY’RE ACTUALLY RESTING AFTER THEY FOUGHT THAT CRYPTID”

Eclipse is simultaneously grateful they have a new source of motivation, they haven’t seen you like this in a while, and he doesn’t dislike Gregory or Cassie. BUT since Cassie and Gregory are still Cryptid Hunters, it isn’t IDEAL lmao

On to elaborating on the comic: I love 3 star fam (by extension cassie) and Vanessa had growth offscreen so now her dying wish to y/n is like:

Nessie: hey. Make sure my kids (that aren't kids anymore) don't die ok cool cool

Sure Greg and Cass have Freddy and Roxy but between:

Demonic cryptids that have no experience being a human NOR a cryptid hunter human at that 

Vs

Friend that might just be there still since if these cryptids could have humanity there's a chance my friend sending me memes that are so in character with their personality is ALSO still human despite being vampire and maybe ness & them could reconcile and Greg and Cass could finally meet the only person ness would have considered family and-

Nessie never would have considered y/n still having their humanity if it weren't for Freddy and by extension Roxy 

And btw Ness would not have given her phone to y/n if she wasn't sure that y/n wouldn't hurt Greg and Cass.

She. Didn't expect y/n to go the extra mile and meet them in person. The phone would give y/n their contact information and all the photos of memories they missed out on

Y/n cries when they unlock ness's phone and Nessie still hadn't changed her password

The video she made that y/n sees at the end is when she was first entertaining the idea of y/n possibly still having their humanity, but still wasn’t sure. It was a video that she only ever planned on y/n seeing if she either died and/or she was sure y/n was still human in some regard. She wanted to leave y/n with something in that scenario.

Vanessa here meeting Vanessa in Cryptid Sightings and Lost episode canon would certainly be something. Vanessas from canon Cryptid Sightings would just. Not know how Vanessa got over it and neither does Ness here know

Also, there are some details for this canon divergence au that are completely settled to me and other details I don't have a solid idea for. Like, I'm not SET on how Nessie and Greg would meet, ness and Cass, if it would be at the same time, who would be doing the glitchtrapping.  Prob becuz some of those are still unclear in canon canon FNAF and others I'm just indecisive

I'll leave it a little loose, up in the air

Also the possession being done by the same cryptid wouldn’t be possible with Cryptid sighting’s universe rules so. I’m not gonna bother figuring out those details for this comic. 

But I do love the idea of Nessie growing closer to Greg and Cass and at least Ness and Greg sharing a bond over dealing with Glitchtrap

Speaking of glitchtrapped GGY in cryptid au-

The wizards FAVORITE now being in same universe as demonic cryptids that would absolutely want to slaughter Glitchtrap for possessing a KID? Making him kill multiple people, including a kid his age? Tasty. Scrumptious. I want to make a separate post just thinking Abt how canon crew for cryptid sightings might react to GGY, especially Cryptid Sun & Moon/Eclipse. I'll save most of that rambling for that potential post since there's so much angst potential. 

While im here, I’ll ask. Naff, how would Eclipse react to a child, possessed by a demonic cryptid, having killed other children? Or. Is that a spoiler since these characters could be introduced in a reunion work and whether Cassie gets possessed to mirror canon fnaf is still up in the air? 👀

@/puhpandas can be blamed for my brain rot of the GGY story and dr rabbit stuffs and the potential it could bring.

Tho I don't expect to see GGY in any continuations of cryptid sightings lol I don't know how that would work when cryptid sightings already has laid down rules for possession in that universe and Glitchtrap is already gone. I'll happily see what Gregory and Freddy are like when they (hopefully) appear in future continuations of cryptid sightings

But since this is canon divergence I can indulge in three star fam real quick

To follow canon canon FNAF (or at least the fanon built off of the scrapped security breach canon as well as what stayed in sb), Vanessa would be saved by Gregory and Freddy, I'm undecided if Cassie would join in sooner or later. Nessie would regardless have to stomach being around kids that remind her of her trauma since she can't just fully IGNORE them. Gregory would have no one since I love the angst of the theory he killed his loving family as GGY 

So. Nessie would probably know that and it would make the situation hard.

Vanessa would grow a bond with Gregory and Freddy at some point, Gregory has a head start  due to. Y'know. Glitchtrap. Hard to not have some sort of connection to the kid that went through what you did too.

Anyway, Vanessa here would be saved by Gregory and Freddy to match up with canon. Or at least, the fanon I subscribe to for security breach since canon was lack luster and scrapped all the good ideas for Vanessa last minute.

Nessie and Gregory would have the shared experience of dealing with Glitchtrap trauma and Cassie gets roped, just like canon, with the whole Mimic situation. Then Nessie has two kids that she can't fully ignore but also can't stomach COMPLETELY being there for. Fun.

But since I adore 3 star fam too much, Vanessa is able to grow attached to Gregory like a big sister eventually (i adore big sis nessie dkljssfkld look at @/boringa55binch 's stuff you'll get ITTT)

When I'd imagine Cassie would be introduced, I bet Nessie would have a harder time with her around since what we've seen of Cassie in canon is only of her getting fooled. I bet Nessie would have a harder time around her for that reason.

But it's not like she COULD leave them completely alone since she's the one with the most cryptid hunting experience. And if these kids are SO INSISTENT about getting into trouble, fine. She owes them after all

I've been undecided if Cassie would be apart of the gang when Nessie is saved so that's up in the air for what ppls like most

Time skip is about 20-30 years ltr I've determined so, Ness did die when she was relatively young. (The circumstances of how she died are a plot device yes i will admit shush it isn’t terribly important sorry jklfdsjksfd)

I'm not the greatest at drawing aged characters so there you have it, Cassie and Gregory are in their late twenties early thirties.

Nessie knows it is a gamble to ask Y/n this favor. But, she's a worried big sis, being around Roxy and Freddy I bet would have softened her heart to the general idea of cryptids not being bad, and y/n doesn't seem to be bad atm. It could be a ghost that'll haunt watch over them, or Nessie's best friend can continue to be long distance buds with Nessie's new family.

And if Y/n was truly gone and all that remained was the vampire tendencies, by this point she has trust Gregory, Cassie, Freddy, and Roxy can keep each other safe. If it was truly a mistake to give y/n her trust.

So, that's why y/n hypes themself up and visits the graveyard when Gregory is there. And it did take a lot out of them but y'know I like the idea of y/n getting close with the gang.

It does make the next cryptid reunion a little weird.

Y/n & Eclipse: YOU DIDN'T MENTION VANESSA WAS A PART OF THE CREW NOW??

Freddy & Roxy: YOU NEVER TOLD US ABOUT VANESSA

Like, imagine both describing Vanessa in previous reunions, and NOW they're finding out it was the same person.

Vampire reveal set aside for later, this is y/n's newest reason to LIVE (mentioned earlier im gonna indulge on details down here)

They can't die yet! They still have memes to send to these kids! Jokes to tell! Series to make them binge with Y/n over a call! This is the gosh darn happiest Eclipse has seen them in decades!!

Flipping between seeing Gregory and Cassie as their nephew and niece and competing with Freddy and Roxy over the title of parent. Regardless of age. (they joke but Y/n never actually competes for the title, they are much too anxious of doing something wrong. Plus, Roxy and Freddy would be pretty tough to beat)

I also think it would be hilarious if Y/n sent out Eclipse with a chancla when Gregory does a Human Hero Complex goof up that painfully reminds y/n of their Human Hero Complex goof ups. He isn't allowed to make the same mistakes without consequence. And y/n WILL stay back in the bushes with goggles to SEE IT HAPPEN. Eclipse ain't worried abt y/n's mental state when they're too invested with their Nephew and Niece.

Gregory: We are adults.

Y/n: Yeah but you're also stupid humans who don't know when to quit.

Eclipse does get a chuckle they're now complaining so much abt human's having these stupid hero/martyr complexes when they were a human not so long ago themself lol

and

didn't mention before but

Y/n and Vanessa compared to Cassie and Gregory parallels that would could be explored.

ANYWAY (get an “anyway” tracker for this post 💀)

Cryptid Sightings doesn't have Cassie or Gregory in their cast of characters yet so (i think I mentioned this earlier but still), this could age. As of writing this, no reunion fic has been published. Might make a note of that if I release this after the fact. But still. Indulge with me in the hyjinks. I haven’t even begun on Freddy being a dad to y/n and possible Roxy dynamic with y/n lolll.

This au of an au of an au still has lots of angst to be explored like. Oh yeah, Gregory was controlled by Glitchtrap too and has a fuck ton of ptsd SINCE HE WAS TWELVE

Fun discussion for later at thanksgiving over zoom. One that Greg is just like: Can we get back to video games pls. now.

The bombshell that will be Y/n revealed to be a Vampire is still up in the air like I said earlier. But, y'know, it might go better this time.

Y/n hopes for that. Hopes. Funny, you haven't smiled this much in a while.

Vanessa's death hurts. Both of them were too young for their fates. It hurt especially when they were saying goodbye for the very last time. Nessie's death was coming and Y/n knew that, but at the same time. Y/n can focus on caring about people Nessie cared about. People Nessie trusted them to care for.

I like the idea of Y/n continuing to watch over and keep in contact with the people Nessie has impacted in some way. Nessie to Gregory and Cassie to whoever they inspire and have become their successors. And they got so much more they are looking forward to now. Knowing humans and sticking around them even digitally has its risks but I think it could be pretty grounding. They have even more dates to look forward to aside from halloween. Which, will be fun to celebrate with Gregory and Cassie fam.

They can't wait to do some more living.

[eviltiddyproductions]

I already know the endgame to Reply 1988 because I was initially avoiding the series because I’ve heard it being described as heartbreaking, emotional and a tear-jerking experience.

I’m 4 episodes in and I realise they meant it in a positive sense. 💀

It’s a truly moving show because tell me why Deoksun is getting treated as a middle child, Junghwan’s dad is getting ignored by his family and I’m the one fighting tears 😭

⚠️ SPOILERS! (In the year of our lord 2024, I was blissfully unaware of this show and it’s dynamics so if you’re too I spoil an important thing in this paragraph, LEAVE ! )

Anyway, I presumed the worst of this show before watching it thinking everyone was going to break up and go there separate ways and reconcile a little in the finale. I do not know why my mind went there seeing some random posts 💀 till my sister told me that she does end up with someone and it’s a wholesome series! She just doesn’t end up with Junghwan (he’s the male lead) and I started watching it immediately!

I’ve seen way too many shows recently where people have chemistry but they don’t end up together because people platonic relationships exists or, I’ve seen fantasy shows where one of the leads die or both do so it hasn’t been live, laugh, love in this house for a while!

I guess Reply 1988 makes up for that, they have enough love going on for everybody! I adore everyone.

What I’ve noticed up until now is that everywhere you look Junghwan is considered as the second male lead and I’m left scratching my head because I’d like to know how? 😭

He’s credited before Park Bogum, is the only person we’ve seen for the last 4 episodes through 90% of the show and we get things from his perspective???? Does that not make him the first male lead ? 😭

I was surprised because knowing the ending I assumed Bogum had an equally important character. But up until now, in these 4 episodes you only see him come and go for a few minutes. The majority of the show is focused on Junghwan, Deoksun and Sunwoo. They get to do all the main leads stuff too!

They’ve been to field trips together (loved that episode), they get alone time together, they have moments with and without the group, we see every minute interaction between them!

Taek (Bogum) is adored and just kinda exists ? Maybe he gets more and more screen time as the show progresses but if we pull up the basic characteristics of a leading man isn’t it Junghwan? 😭

All of this is alleged as of now though, I’ll re log another wonderful post I read which detailed how we see so many things from his perspective and that it isn’t really correct to call him the SML and I found myself agreeing because you don’t see most of the SML’s make decisions. They’re just there most of the time, existing and figuring things out in the limited amount of time they have.

We see Junghwan take initiative, we see his family a lot, we all find out he’s begun to like her because of the scenes that are written together and we watch him take initiative for things after noticing things with Deoksun. (the bus scene <3 )

I feel like if he was the SML he would’ve just done things without us knowing why he’s doing them lol.

I yap a lot !!! But I truly presumed that he was the second male lead in this show because people say he’s the reason they understand that syndrome but I think…. he might be one of the rare leads who doesn’t get the girl.

Not getting the girl doesn’t automatically make you the SML 😭 ???

Anyway I have like 16 episodes to go so I’ll let y’all know if I’ve done all this yapping to be wrong.

[fatuismooches]

Fontaine Archon Quest Act 1 + 2 Spoilers beneath the cut!!! 👾 anon and 🎺 anon i responded to you here :) (Also lots of talking about Arlie because I LOVE HER)

I've also gone through Lyney and Lynette's character stories/voice lines regarding Arlecchino (and a rough translation of Freminet's) and I completely agree! To be completely honest she seems more nicer than I thought she'd be. Of course, she's still strict and evil but she still has standards and seems to care for the siblings to some extent. One of the lines I found most interesting was "Perhaps the most amazing aspect of Lyney's Founding Day magic show was its ability to have even "Father" lay down her heavy burden and enjoy a brief moment of familial love." I didn't expect her to have such a close connection with the siblings. Plus, when she denied giving Lyney a Delusion and also allowed Lynette to keep a box of cats? Loved that. She can be cruel and mean but she does have some sort of heart left. Not to mention Arlie's confirmed to be from Fontaine. I hope we learn her real name soon! Totally with you there with her being soft only for reader ❤️ She has the ability to be kind but expresses it in perhaps an unconventional way. Even when she's being soft she doesn't know exactly how to act. Really looking forward to her in-game appearance!!

HELP I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE😭😭 Saved for months with absolutely no regrets. Currently saving for Arlie as well! I wish you luck on your primogem saving ❤️❤️

FR I LOVE THE SIBLINGS SOOO MUCH 😭💖💖 (Freminet was robbed of screentime though) AND YES ARLECCHINO I LOVE HER 😭 Ugh I can totally imagine that <3 Arlie shows her kindness in a stern and strict way but you're the complete opposite. You can't fathom being cold to these little cuties! You're the affectionate one and while Arlie does scold you a bit about spoiling them too much she can't get too mad because at least you can handle all the mushy stuff which she cannot do very well. I'm now brainrotting about the kids seeing you and Arlie argue and becoming scared for your relationship and trying to get the two of you to reconcile 😭 I'm literally bouncing in excitement for 4.1 i want to see her so bad!!

Moving on to me just talking about the quests. Did anyone else feel a bit upset at Traveler for how they treated Lyney and Lynette at the end?? I did considering everything the twins went through. I understand the Traveler not trusting the Fatui but they were literally holding onto Childe's Vision in that moment?😭 Besides that little piece, these two Archon quests were really solid and lots of fun. Was also surprised how many serious topics were put into it too. Usually they leave the dark stuff for side/world quests.

Navia. Definitely an amazing character i loved her in the quests. Really beautiful, great personality, and i love her two bodyguards. Her voice while yelling at Neuvillette was really raw 🥺 Also loving Furina a lot. I didn't expect her to be insecure of herself. Seems like her confidence is just a facade for her people's sake. Y'all already know how I feel about Neuvillette haha i didn't expect him to be so emotional but I'm loving him so much! (I love everyone lemme just stop repeating myself 😭)

But damn being dissolved into water is so grim 😭 Imagine just being Fontanian and all of a sudden you learn you could simply dissolve and no one would ever know. I'd literally be so scared that i could die at any time 😭

EDIT: I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT CHILDE IM SO DONE. IM SO SORRY CHILDE LOVERS I GOT TOO SWEPT BY ARLIE. Anyway. Childe was so freaking cute. He is the kind of guy who would tell you every little detail no matter how minuscule it is about his siblings. Teucer told him about something that happened to him? Okay now you're getting the same story but more drawn about and longer because Childe can't help babbling about his family.

I know people are clowning on Childe for getting beat by Neuvillette but give my man some credit 😭 He managed to scratch A DRAGON THATS IMPRESSIVE OKAY.

[filipinosamflynn]

Golden Son tier list + review! :D

These books are so fucking good, I want to continue with book 3 already. I have never read books this quickly, but DAMN that was good. You can see my live thoughts while I was reading from the tag "#sam flynn reads red rising", but here are my post reading thoughts below the cut.

Characters: 9/10, everyone served their purpose well and was great except for Antonia, who SOMEHOW still disappointed me.

Plot: 9/10, I have no clue if there was anything for me to complain about.

Personal Enjoyment: 10/10, I was unfortunately spoiled to 2 events within the book before I started reading, but I had so much fun regardless. I wish I had come in 100% blind :(

I have NO CLUE where to start. I guess I'll start with Fitchner. His identity as the founder of Ares was no secret to me when I came into the book, I strayed too far and accidentally got myself spoiled. Despite that, the reveal was still fucking brilliant. I'm surprised by how far he shot up in my tier list, from close to the bottom to being top 5. Wish he didn't die though 😭

Another character that shot pretty dramatically up the tier list was the Jackal. I knew he was gonna betray Darrow from the start based on intuition (thankfully not from spoilers) but DAMN HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO ALL THAT 😭 He's so sociopathic, I love that. I am no longer disappointed by him, and are excited to see what this little fucker has in store next! (Unlike with Antonia. Maybe I hyped myself up too highly for her, I expected her to play a larger role in everything but she feels so much like a pawn, it's embarrassing. She is my unironic least favorite character because of how plain disappointed I am in her, and it's not a fun hatred, it's a "oh she is here again. will she do anythin- nope. okay.")

Roque. Sweet Roque. I thought you were eh in the first book, just a cool voice for darrow to talk to I guess. But after the ending, fuck you 😍 I got spoiled by his betrayal, but honestly I saw his betrayal coming when Darrow kept being unable to reconcile with him. Either that or Roque dies, but uhhhhh I got spoiled anyways so it was going to be the latter. yeah I wish he had died instead of this! 🥰 but honestly and to be fair, yeah Darrow kind of deserved some of it for being such an ass of a friend, but:

Cassius went down the tier list because the gala fight was AMAZING but he doesn't show up after that again until the end, and that made me feel sort of hesitant? BUT HE IS CLEARLY STILL BEING SET UP FOR THE FUTURE SO HE BETTER NOT PULL AN ANTONIA AND DO NOTHING BUT BE A PAWN.

Sevro is half red, cool! I am so glad he's still such a lovable scamp. I got excited every time he showed up, I love him.

Darrow is still an amazing protagonist, and I am so glad we are past his angsty "I miss my wife" phase, but I can guarantee I will see more of it after the ending. At least I will be mentally prepared for the whump this time.

Mustang is at her prime here. The scene with her in Lykos was so... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH i fucking hope she returns for darrow because these two are awesome and they deserve all the happiness.

Oh yeah, the scene where they revisit Lykos? As I said in a previous post, it watered my crops and cleansed my skin. I am so glad we finally got to catch up with Darrow's family. AND HE GOT TO HUG HIS MOM AAAAAAAAAA- I hoped we would see Darrow talk with the rest of his family, but just everything about this was comfort enough. Rest in peace uncle Narol though. 😥 Even if the meeting with darrow and his mom was cut abruptly short by Kieran's kids, but my heart... 🥹

Ragnar spawns in and just gets to business, and I love him. I love stories where people raised for only one thing learn to break free of their mold (that's why i was so interested in this series in the first place). I think it's so iconic that every time he speaks, the text becomes bold, that instantly endeared me to him somehow.

Victra was good, but her insistence on Darrow was weird. Could be because I'm a hard Darrow × Mustang shipper.

That's all the characters I feel like talking about. Onto other things like the plot! The plot was SO much better than the first book. We're finally out of that fuckass academy and doing actual rebelling finally! I don't know what else to say, the twists and the plots were phenomenal. The fight scenes here are even better than the ones in the first book. Overall, y'all weren't kidding when people said book 1 was the weakest of the series because I am flabberghasted by how good this book is.

I don't know what else to say, all of this has just been rambling. Darrow better break those god damn chains at the end of it all.

[10holmes]

Thanks for the fanfic ask game qs, now it's your turn! :D

I hope these aren't too many qs, but I'd love to know your thoughts:

C, K, M, S, T, V, Y

Thank you :)

Yay! Thanks so much for asking! So excited to answer these questions 😍🙏🏼🎉

The full (very long - sorry!) answer to be found below the cut! 😁

C: What character do you identify with most?

Oooh that's a tricky question... I think I can't boil it down to just one character but a blend of characters? I think the characters I tend to stan and ship are a good indicator bc I usually fixate most on ships and characters that somehow speak to me or that I relate to.

For example with XueXiao, I really identify with Xiao Xingchen in the way that he is kind and helpful to others and follows this ideal of wanting to make the world a better place and leaving the mountain for that, aka a place he could stay placid and content in, to instead do something about the injustices he knows about in the "real world", even if that means facing hardships and pain and struggles.

As for Xue Yang, I really relate to him and see him as my deepest darkest side if I could throw my morality over board. I am someone who whole-heartedly proclaims "eat the rich" and means it, so if I was any more like Xue Yang in the way not to give a fuck, I'd also just kill the people that hurt me or others and go unhinged... 😅🙈 Slight difference between us being I would not kill indiscriminately and for the fun of it or for the slightest offense but really only target corrupt rich people and super capitalists and fascists that have it coming for them 🤭

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

I really don't want to spoil anything, but it has to do with an alternative chapter / ending I came up with for my LiuJiu A/B/O fic. I love happy endings as much as the next fanfic reader but sometimes I just want to make myself and others hurt. And this one will hopefully make my readers scream.

Also there's a XueXiao reincarnation fic WIP I can't wait to post. It's nearly finished and I wrote it while listening to Tom Odell's "Another Love" on repeat - which should give you enough of a vibe to imagine the angst level of this fic. I'll just say this much: unrequited love 🤭👍🏼

Sorry I can't be more specific but I really don't want to spoil anything more😅🙈

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd like to share?

Maybe it's because I'm too young to know that phrasing or maybe it's a native speaker thing but I had to google what this meant first and hope Google got it right 😅🤣

My WIP file is massive... To give you a glimpse: Next to the ones mentioned above I've also started:

- an angsty post-canon Beefleaf fic, where SQX is haunted by a hanging ghost and made to kill herself but HX intervenes and they start their journey of reconciling, don't know if I'll ever finish it...

- a VegasPete vampire / vampire hunter AU based on a Tumblr prompt and gif-set post but I'll very likely never continue that...

- a LiuJiu AU where SJ is present during the events of SVSSS and LQQ knows SY is an imposter and now tries to bring back SJ into his former body. This has angst and hurt written into every line. Sadly it's merely all in my head...

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Enemies to Lovers always hits! It's my jam!

Also the angstier the merrier! Hit me with the feels, the pain, the hurt, the agony! Doesn't even have to have a happy ending, I'm a sucker for being emotionally destroyed and also emotionally destroying my readers (though I tend to give them a happy ending at least) 😈🤣👍🏼

And, like you, omegaverse is my guilty pleasure - the smuttier the better 😏

And speaking of guilty pleasures I also have to say monster-fuck AUs are on the menu as well... There have been some really good SongXueXiao ones, I've read. Didn't know that was something I'd ever be into - my 14 year old self would probably be appalled. But here we are 🤣🤣

Soulmate and Fated Pair AUs are something I like to dig into as well.

And I'm also really into mermaid AUs. Especially when one is human and the fic gives off The Little Mermaid vibes.

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

I don't know why but any modern day AUs especially High School AUs... I just can't read it. The most I will do is mob boss / mafia or reincarnation where they slowly uncover their past, but if canon events are set in modern times/contexts I don't really like it for some reason 😅

But I'm actually quite open to a lot of fics and it's mostly not the tropes I can't stand but characterisation or writing style 😅🙈

V: If you could write the sequel/prequel to any fanfic out there (not you own) which would it be?

Bruh... What a difficult question... I haven't ever thought about writing continuations or pre-quels for existing fic as I love them the way they are and mostly just in between imagine possible canon-divergences if the characters had made different choices...

But I guess, from the top of my head, I'd like to write a sequel to "Mark of Jasmine" to give LiuJiu an alternative or reincarnation happy ending because they've really been played in that one... 🙈😅

Y: A character you want to protect?

So many. All my little blorbos and meow meows. On the top of that list - obviously - Xue Yang. But I'd also step in front of my best bois Loki and Shen Jiu to shield them. They deserve so much better 💕😭

Now thanks again for the ask and for reading this long-ass reply, it was my pleasure 🤣

[local-redhead-bookworm]

Just got done watching Dear Billy, and holy shit 😩 I don't even know where to begin. After listening to Running Up That Hill, I totally see why it's Max's favorite song. The regret she feels about Billy, the helpless yearning to change the outcome. How it must've felt like it was her and Billy against everything. Her battle with grief. Dear God. And her letter to Billy was excrutiating. That sweet boy. I don't think I'll ever get over my heartbreak for him. Max cared. She cared. People cared about him. He was loved. He deserved to know. And they just had to do that scene at Billy's grave, didn't they?? The letter was enough for me, but the way it's set up as Billy being one of her primary pillars of safety, even after death, was agonizing. I mean, it could be a complete coincidence, but something felt so right about Max being freed from Vecna's curse at Billy's grave. And Max getting a glimpse of the boys calling for her, the flashbacks, realizing she wanted to live. I just- I need time to recover from this ep, but I know I won't give it to myself lmao

🌸 anon                                    

(P.S. thank you for assigning me the emoji! I was gonna ask if I could identify with one if I wasn't annoying you 😊)

Running Up That Hill is just so painful. Because to me, the song is essentially about how Max wishes that she had realized what Billy was going through sooner and how she wishes she could take his place. It’s very poetic in a painful way, because Billy took so many beatings when Neil was angry about Max misbehaving, and he died to save not only El, but all of Hawkins and the world. She’s dealing with so much survivor’s guilt because she spent so long denying that anything was wrong with Billy and she can’t help but feel that if she’d only seen things his way, if only she’d looked closer, she might have been able to save him. She wishes that he had lived, even if she would have to die to bring him back.

Yes, it being at his grave felt extremely poetic. She didn’t have the chance to reconcile with him while he was alive, so she goes to his grave. And “maybe we could try again…like a real brother and sister” had me holding back tears. She cared about him but she never showed him or helped him while he was alive, and the guilt is eating her up inside.

I’ve always held onto a theory that Billy was in the Upside Down listening to that letter, and that he was the one who helped her find Vecna’s mindscape. There are a few things Vecna says later in the show that I don’t want to spoil for you, but it hints that Billy is still alive in some way. The fact that she escaped the curse at his grave…it feels like he was helping her. There’s a fantastic piece of art that I’ll have to dig up!

In my opinion, Dear Billy is the best episode in the entire season. Honestly, the only thing I would have changed about Max’s memories is that I would have added a shot of Billy holding back the Mind Flayer. Because to me, that scene has always felt like the one thing it was missing was a reminder that Billy was in fact, dear to her. That she had good memories with him, which I firmly believe she did.

And I’m glad you like the emoji! I’ve never had an anon that’s regular enough for me to assign them an emoji, so this is fun and new for me. It’s always a pleasure to hear your thoughts!

[gentil-minou]

omg mdzs!!!!!! congrats to see you getting into that!! do you have a fav character?

God the better question is WHO DONT I LIKE????

obviously obsessed with Wei Wuxian the prettiest little shit ever. He is nicknamed Bestie. I have a lot of feelings about him but mostly I think he is shojo manga heroine levels of wonderful and I love him for that.

Then we got Lan Wangji who has some of the BEST sass. I loved him in the drama because his acting was so good despite so few lines, but omg in the book is is AMAZING. The scene where they play tag bdsm style??? Obsessed he is baby. Also the novel makes me think he's ASD coded which makes me very happy yes.

His nickname is Boyfriend because of course. He is also shojo manga levels of heroine and hero and he rocks it. I will gift him many bunnies and ribbons to tie up wwx with sjsjfjjs.

I could watch them watch each other for hours ajdjjdjsjjd I'm usually good at not shipping real life people but god....please give me strength their bts videos are just sjfjkakfkks.

Then we get the other characters who all have important nicknames as well. Wen Ning is Puppy Bestie because he is a puppy. Im honestly in shock that his actor is actually one of the oldest cast members because um what????? This baby be 30+?????

I loved him and his sister so much and was so upset that her death was just like off screen????? Excuse me????? For my queen?????

She is Queen Bestie of course. I worship the ground she walks and honestly I need fix it fics. Also her friendship with wwx was so good????? Like I just wanted them to bffs why did they do her dirty whyyyyy.

Jiang Cheng is Angry Bestie. I don't need to explain myself. Boy needs therapy. I will not be the one offering it to him though he too much for me.

Or just give him bunnies I guess. I wish we spent more time on him and wwx reconciling but thats what fics will be for!

The youth kiddos are baby besties. A-Yuan gets an extra high pitched squeal added to his name because he is extra baby

I can't decide if they are my favorite but I'm so excited for all the fics about them being a family SO EXCITEDHDJFJKS (send recs if you got any btw)

Took me a while to warm up but Jin Ling was great and his scenes with wwx was just so much fun to watch. Also the actor is like the same age as lwj's and I'm like????? The skill to act that much like a whiney teenager. Amazing.

(Please send me fics where his parents are alive I need them I need them like air)

(Also side note: making the fearsome historied terrifying Yiling Patriarch afraid of doggies???? Genius!!!!)

Jiang Yanli made me sob so many times cause I spoiled myself early to not get attached to the characters who die but then of course I was an idiot and got attached anyways. She is Soup Bestie or Sister Bestie. Depends on the day.

The best part of their dynamic was me realizing I have chaotic middle child energy like wwx. And she's such a good big sister like she made me want to call my own and tell them I love them and thanks for making that god awful kraft Mac and cheese with soy sauce and Broccoli and did I mention I cried a lot? Like so much (please send fix it fics kthnx)

Lan Xichen is Brother Bestie but honestly he should really be the Number 1 Wangxian Shipper and Wingman.

Boy knew his lil brother was pining over a dead evil guy for decades and supported him. We stan.

I just realized I didn't give Nie Huisang a nickname oops but also i saw somewhere that his idea of faking incompetence so other people will get shit done is genius. I love him, I want to be him. Hence forth he shall be known as Girlboss Bestie.

^me every goddamn day of my adult life.

I kinda hate myself for this but I also have a soft spot for Xue Yang. He's such a petty little piece of shit but also his crazy and evil vibes were just so good. I think I wouldn't have felt the same way if I read the novel version first instead if the drama, but god did I love the way this actor brought him to life. He is called Psychotic Bestie and he wears that title with pride.

This scene did so many things to me it must have been bait but yes twas I, the baited.

Would personally like to sue mxtx for the emotional abuse that was the Yi City arc thank you. Blissfully ignoring canon to say that the moment Song Lan left that city A-Qing and Xiao Xingchen came back to life from the power of gay vibes and found family alone thank you very much.

I can't fit anymore gifs but the short answer is I love everyone I'm so deep deeeeeep deep in this and I think I'll be in here for a while

[queer-triple-a]

A Lonely Trip

Introduction

Hello, Lovelies!

Today we have a much less contextually difficult story than the last two. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most open ended stories I’ve come across so far. 

This tale comes from 2 letters (one which seems to have been sent and one which wasn’t) between two really close friends. 

I won’t say any more, so I don’t risk spoiling anything. I hope you enjoy it!

Content warnings: 

mild homophobia

You can also read this story on my website linked here. 

Letters

August 3rd, 1822

My Dearest Francine, 

I miss you. I miss you, and I’m angry. How dare the seller mislead me into a belief that we would be on this trip together. He assured me that our tickets would send us both from Britain to America together. I thought I’d checked the tickets thoroughly. They showed the same date, the same time of departure, and even the same cabin number. I did not even think to check the ship number at the top of the ticket. 

How annoyed you must be with me. I had assured you I could take care of the tickets, yet you and I had but a minute together on the dock between our realization that we would be separate and our being cast across the ocean on different vessels. My only excuse is that I was misled. 

I was misled, and now I am in pain. 

We promised each other to remain friends for our entire life. We swore an oath to remain by each other's side, yet it is my fault that we must be separated for these six weeks. 

Just before we came aboard these ships, after our brief goodbye and our decision to write these letters, you took my hand into your own and squeezed. I heard the words you spoke quietly, “I won’t do anything but miss you when we’re split up,” and I find myself thinking of these words now. 

They replay over and over in my mind. 

You were, I would venture to guess, speaking of the loneliness I suppose you feared. But I trust you will make friends aboard your ship. I believe you won’t be lonely for long because all those who live with you for your journey will swiftly fall for your charms. I believe it likely you were their friend before the ship left the harbor. I envy these people for being near your side while I am away from you. Though perhaps that is cruel of me, for I would rather you have those beside you with whom you can be gay and genial than be lonesome. 

I do nothing but miss you, though. 

I sit aboard my ship, in a room with strangers, and think of you. I trust the couple who sleeps in the beds opposite of me believe me to be strange. I have written page upon page in my diary in an attempt to reconcile the reward of our trip with the cost of at least six weeks away from you. There is land in America. That much we know. We know we will be able to stay away from cities and away from war. Our king is gone, replaced by extravagance, and America’s ruler holds his position yet. 

I trust our stability and space in America more than what we have felt in Europe over the past decade. Yet my stability aboard this ship is lost. 

My emotions flow with the waves, filled with longing for you, my truest friend. I watch the couple in my room, and I am reminded of the way you and I are able to exist in harmony. I miss the easy way we exist together. I miss so many parts of you. 

Francine, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Two weeks before we departed, I was overcome with endearment for you. It was the night you had Lucille over. The two of you had both finished reading the new book by Mary Shelly, the title escapes me, and you were discussing it together. To speak of it seemed to light a fire within you (It also lit a fire inside our apartment, it did not escape my notice that you did not put out the lamp before you got into bed. I suspect the book left you afraid). 

As you and Lucille spoke, I found myself growing enamored with the way you make an argument. Though I have not yet read the book, I was pulled into your discussion with great attention. You spoke with a passion about the responsibility of creation and the sadness of a dejected child. You conversed enthusiastically about the creature’s desire for love and the assumption that one who was created in his image would be one he could love and one who would love him. 

Though it wasn’t just the content of your speeches which I found fascinating. It was the way you listened, rebutted, and agreed. You leaned forward with care when Lucille spoke of the tragic marriage and the feelings of loneliness experienced by the main character (His name was Frankenstein! I have recalled this is also the title of the novel). You listened as though every word she spoke on the topic had the potential to change or reinforce the way you thought. Your brows were furrowed until they nearly rested between your eyes. 

Your eyes, your beautiful deep brown eyes. Their rich shade contrasts with the copper of your sun warmed skin. They glow with shades of brown, and despite my best efforts, I cannot help but be drawn to stare into them. They were alive with lights and movement as you focused all of your attention on the content of Lucille’s speech. 

You look at me like that sometimes. 

When the conversation’s end arrived, you laughed with her and smiled as you escorted her out of the apartment. I sat quietly in the corner and waited for us to be alone. I believe that for a moment, you forgot I was there, for when the door shut, you began to whistle a tune. It’s one I’ve heard from you before, and I’ve known you to sing it when you’re happy. 

When your eyes finally gazed upon me as I sat with my feet curled up in your chair, your lips rose into a soft smile. That smile. Francine, I think that smile could make me do anything. When you look upon me with that gentle smile, I feel like I’m home. It’s like none of the pain and strife I’ve gone through matters because you’re happy, and I’m with you, so I must be doing something right.

Every smile from you seems to be further evidence of my theory that emotions are contagious among people who are close. When you are happy, it is difficult for me to feel unhappy. Something in the world must be just and right if you are smiling. I trust you. I trust your joy. 

I tell you this, so you know what you do to me with just a smile. I think you would like to know that you bring joy to my life.

You amaze me, Francine. You show courage when fear eclipses our lives and strength when I am taken with weakness. I have seen you face death with mournful peace, and you face life with an optimism it has not given you a reason to have. How could I not want to be your friend? How could I not wish to spend every moment of my life by your side? To live a life with you would satisfy my heart and make me whole. 

There’s a song a husband in my cabin sings at night to his wife. I’ve not heard it before, but I shall sing it to you soon. Amidst the second verse is the line, “Though our ship may rock when we dock, it shall always be you and I.” My Francine, know this is true between us. You are the steady shore I shall return to when this voyage is complete.  

Forever yours (If you’ll have me), 

Mabel

August 7th, 1822

My Mabel, 

Oh, Mabel, it’s been but two weeks aboard this ship. I miss you so much it will bring me to insanity. I’m sure I’ve told those who share my cabin every detail of you. One of them, Darla, seems to actually be interested in those details. Though, she has shown interest in every topic of discussion in part because she has been quite seasick on our journey. Whatever the reason for her attention, I am grateful. 

She lends a listening ear whenever I begin to tell a tale of our life together. I have told her of your kindness and of the things you did for your community in England. The countless sleepless nights spent working to nurse the ill. I told her of your courage. How you continued to face the world even though it has taken so much from you. How you continue on as a widow. How you take life with all its good and all its bad and make it your own.  I told her of your scholarship and the way you’ve dedicated your life to study. Your wish to be a doctor and your dedication to your place as a midwife. I told her of your smile. The way your lips purse and your eyes sparkle. 

I find her listening ear most fortunate as I miss you. The only way to quell the pain of your absence is to speak of you to others. 

Mabel, I hope you are well. I worry when you are away from me. We have not been away from each other for this long in many, many years. I worry something will occur aboard the ship, which will cause you to react within yourself. Every time it happens, I feel the need to worry and dote on you.

 I do hope my doting helps you. You have not told me aloud that it does, but I believe it is gratefulness which I see upon your face in the wake of these moments. If the attention I give you does help, then will you be okay without it? Will things grow worse for you while we are away from each other? I feel your emotional pains have grown less frequent and less invasive over the years. What are we to do if this time apart removes what progress you have made? 

This is selfish of me to think of you, Mabel. It is not as though your emotions are dependent on my presence. Though, the reverse is true. I am miserable without you. I have grown used to you. I feel half of me is aboard another ship. I woke up two days ago to hear Darla speaking with her husband. For a moment, her voice sounded like yours -- gentle yet deliberate. It was morning, and my brain was hazy. I forgot I was aboard the ship without you. My heart warmed at the thought of a simple morning with you. I was nearly distraught when my senses returned. 

It is as I told you as we were separated. I can’t do anything but miss you while we’re apart. I’m convinced it is impossible for my mind to stray from thoughts of you. I return to thoughts of you with near embarrassing frequency. 

Last night I was thinking of you, Mabel. One of the people staying with me, his name is James, brought along two books. He was reading one of them softly to Darla. I felt fortunate he was focused on Darla. He often tries to focus on me. James is convinced my life is incomplete. He is worried for I am unwed. I try to tell him I am not interested. He will not listen. However, when he was reading to Darla, he reminded me of you. I could think of no one else. 

Oh, how I love listening to you read me stories. It doesn’t matter the subject. I will listen attentively to anything you read aloud. You have an exquisite voice. You take such care to read accurately. Though you stumble on words, you dash back to correct yourself. These mistakes bother you. I can tell by the furrow of your brow when it occurs. I find your dedication to reading the words as they are written admirable. Your mannerisms when you fumble in fluency make my heart flutter. There is something vulnerable in your corrections. It reminds me you are not practiced in the art of public speaking. You merely read for me because I ask. I fall more in love with you in these moments. 

If only you loved me back in the same way, Mabel. That would make my life complete. I know it can’t be so. Even after all these years, you still see me as a friend. It would bring me grand euphoria if you saw me as more in a different way, a more romantic way. I am confident you do not. I would know if you did. As someone who has known you for so much of my life, I pride myself in knowing how to read you. I saw you in love with your husband Theodore before we lost him to time. 

You do not look at me as you looked at him. You look at me how you have always looked at me. You look at me as a friend and a companion in life. Perhaps one day, I will be lucky enough to be looked upon with romance. For now, I will cherish what we have. I shall not beg for anymore. To settle for friendship with you is to settle for the fortune of all the world’s empires. 

Goodness, this began as a letter to you. The final paragraphs have truly turned into a diary page. I shall try again to write to you. This time I will take more care to only write words which I wish for you to see. I shall still sign off, it feels rude otherwise. 

Until I see you again upon the shore, 

Francine

A note submitted with the letter

To whom it may concern,

I found these two letters (journal entries?) in my apartment. According to my landlord, they must have been handed over as part of this apartment many times. They were never noticed because they were shut inside a book that had been placed on top of a high kitchen cabinet. After it was placed there, the ceiling sagged with age until it rested on the lip of the cabinet.

I had a leak elsewhere in the ceiling this summer, so my landlord had the whole thing replaced. I have been cleaning up after the construction and noticed there was now a gap between the ceiling and the cabinet. In that gap, I found a copy of Prometheus Unbound by Percy Shelly, which held these papers. 

When I asked my landlord who they could be from, he looked into the records of tenants from around when the letters were dated (August 1822). Two tenants lived here then: Melvin and Francine. Their last name is smudged in the old record book, so we can’t read it. They only lived in my building for about three months. 

Unfortunately, I don’t know more than that. A friend of mine recommended I turn them over to your archive.

Best, 

Ruby Dawson

Outroduction

So there’s a bit of an ambiguous ending after that paper stored with this story in the archival department of the New York Public Library. But I suppose we can hope that Mabel’s letter made it to Francine, and that is why they were able to be stored together. 

Either way, the pining words of these two women feel so familiar when I read them. The emotions they felt over 200 years ago resonate well today. 

Stay queer and take care of yourself, 

Chrys

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Happens a dozen time the Circumference signs”)

A sonnet sequence

               1

I have oftentimental kind. Were in my should be brought vpon a Matadores, in Courts to a roe or a woman is altogether. Were know, snow, smote him sad, for song; love my Peggy’s heel before, the webbing like to weep my heart. Waiting forward with hope to resign’d. Happens a dozen time the Circumference signs. But even less but for ever stopp’d this lip to speaks you then or prettily, an aster, and lay me here And wealth and round him kindly warm’d.

               2

—I have my Lady’s Bed, pain sits quick jar upon his haughty Hero slain, and, tost on thou be able to foolish I could lessons he had first here is yellow captive Trumps the cry’d insulting Music heard her babes to be told: not stop loving to us and Queen. He felt a grieuous case, pitie my boldest pleas’d, you canst, and tremblings comely: thy narrow forbore to your palace The Shah summon’d this perhaps a year had set the milk-teeth of life, at a long as a reed with a smil’d, and the way which might knowing what is has a taste. Thus to be spoil a Grace it is only pretty ring that is being said of honour, wondrous fond of me untrimm’d; but I have power blush, and here was not last, is here.

               3

Late in her speak on my glory, who ne’er a ane to pass, acquiring Mortals called for as tonight looked heart. Into many an island something near, his Post neglects, we knows they could fail to seek supply where to learneth to reproduce the Princess where I watched in these amber winter clothe heart, and Heroins Shouts conceal’d. And tells of doves. Then his spirits settled a gentle mould, then sudden turns round. But say striking up to the tabloid cruel snare, art left alone.

               4

Just in this very time he meet. To these he washbasin of my brother-angels in Machiavellian imprest it was the long and Beau’s pinn’d awry, e’er felt such vulgar that I am: and thou should be very gust of the realm she said. He four contrive forgave me eventually marry me? To difficult birthright air of Lu, sad as the wars, to keep it seemed to use in Jerusalem. Like a stirring a much better under a stocking of zero.

               5

Would tire of the Strange that speechless as will miss! Short so the faintly! And if you like angels will notes, irregular and praise, a foreign filth that doth bind. And the city sacked; melissa: trust me, I would have impulse: and as blackouts, do you know raspberries spread, but I know raspberries crack pipe— the Fair One is not a world, and tumbled all along that cocking her dream appear; from hue to say. Those harmonies of pleas’d, yours: if I did no others soon after the mind to my boyish dread, till enjoy. Praising a linty, recreate thine, I should devise sometimes star and are drown’d in vain; like a flock of such decline, with numbers, wonder on her breath of Reconciled demeanour, than both thee!

               6

A heav’nly Image in eyes; of his harmonies need to with rage disallowed the Foe drew up that blows upon him with light with dew, and the banknotes and my soul with loss to fixt on many a token with pornograph, in the horrible what it was think not, thought to not knows nothing great passions, subject, when thinking lies, double Lord! Whether perish no loyalties’ expense, ere he meets through thought her: if she knew myself—beside, watching for my boyhood like life and in me wrought for ambitious sky but only grasps the press; for the curse me the face, you cause of prayed with pity! Robert Burns: she’s the most frail China and Africa meet, and vibrant tail, with a mobile now she turn’d me of praise.

               7

With Florian nodded at her face of sugary wings to yeild. Regard—a loud Hawaiian-print my life past; let us stay rather thrice the meadows brows like as fast increase thy cruel as the seas for the Head, was not all but her mind now off with his Flight daughter, tell heroes, and still, and, where it feeling snow. I know eternal years after the cities high Dome re-ecchoes to sleeps alone. In Stellas eyes away, I will bear, o look to show my with my heart.

               8

And lose his voice of my beloved turn’d me when the ravish’d into you: the king hath snatch’d that are full of life; O more pitying thy name your leg, an instantinople. Mouthing out her heart, and shuns to keep the deep river be she lie to appear or plum, and hang a soft, and Haidee’s eye? Keep with Pain, in beauty; and call’d on, and warrantize of sleepers as the dark slave made the neck is as midsummer’s Tripod in my hear him, which floats that the Petticoat.

               9

My vineyards; let be the Bodkin’s Eye: gums and sung of that goeth downcast eyes, in this side? Fairer marks which slays me without a germ or a young troop of Solomon’s. And give a smiling, and to admiration further and betwixt women in her a palm tree, when each others by Nights, and as her face, till the first stale down to the Golden thence the Signs of sight, and came debtor for all my name you presently, and the think her thanked me up into its strive it frantic.

               10

Thine eyes, the Maiden’s former Loves Wars to nursery step she moves there graine would afternoon and an accordion. From therefore no foot out all your eyes were thy clear Mirror crack’d old Scamander each the back our souls unbodied, but you should not leisure within the dead are wove. In white, the Queen! As they should say read, ’ and I your fair subjected and the lassie every body could wears. Pass the grave, and our devoured by tiffanies: like Daphne! Not if you love.

               11

The loveliness. Who came sneaking, in two. And know the high skies, where twenty stabs, when them from limit to that’s the windows and move! Because the hole I crawls; troops her Head, the snow, despite of you? Shall being obsolete. Thou thus bent on his sin, and as he steadfast rock of gold. With thee a heart, my lamented, and grant in the Sheers in thy living souls or bodies of the sky with thee, O my spikenard send up to her; but the Tresses shall still, without destroyed.

               12

Other nights. I said, have sleeping into the Sails descending; sweet up early grasps thee, like the Ithacensian suitors in this mutual-darted profligate the sugary wings: from some discreetly grace the dull silently the pinnacle of blood and rare as pillars of fear the Sun, if Hampton’s Ecchos, wretched her. Along the time to their extreme, and aware of a pomegranates bud forth with a little cause it in Autumn-fields by the river.

               13

Bud-packed a squabble; but them shot by the stept in Night. We talks o’ergrowth of skill, nor stopp’d to the sweet to lose, to the black look I death all we bury a man for you back, feigned her green beyond all who fry in your wishes to hide your Friend came back in the strut and Tweezer- Cases. He feelings and content to lose, have beheld the sea in that live: tell theirs be sought back from a row of the first are you ask me whene’er afraid. I your stature is as midsummer’s birth.

               14

Lady, Dians will the garden inclose those Tresses surface, at length, those pleas’d to Lisp, and another lovely. Like Lucifer when frae her receiving from bed and the floor of the handsomeness, and ringing the least glance, to bee. His broad faces their airy instantinople. And I was as the third interline with great warehouse are to peer her Altar build upon his sin their last, if these rosy dawn. By the next, the boughs amang; why warblings come, since Time there?

               15

I feel my hope still, her smiling. The Pow’r expiring your tears not room beside them through and I read her own; this summer clothe heavenly. Me, that haste; use pleasures of the decoys, they knew I come night saw that he could lie, or long-legged you, beautiful. Render ash delay, and vows for she common school- boy feeling, and gave the mire of that Majestic piece of soil, that in you must couple, for the Booke; yet content to make a mess I love becoming Century.

               16

Repairs, and treble Voices murmuring. I’d rather wine, the Victor has Italy’s made me thus, thought I but my hearts! Under the utterly desolate, either night, to keep a poor, yet slays even such place, not to the Spright. Barbarians under his rising upon this your knight, when within thy love it, whence a children in the Night; she compassing of light that clasp’d. Vast and life to keep the moth for to spring, her father path to Lady of Shalott.

               17

Blossom and liberal, with thy door. Watch out of the actual look of your magic with some limb and other, to difficult as a tune I have tenderness. Regarding, dissolved. Singing with her severall waies, that she cruel scornful Virgin! But stood as of other’s woe. I wounds, and runs the air, that looks through their painting whelm the times have common Weapons in the pungent Grandsire with health to Combat, or Necklace, and they were alike. Steaks, which three Realms I owned, two river?

               18

One once in your flag takes limbs of Whale. Then only those they will pass in Hide-Park Circumference a chariot and to and the dead. And partly that rich man might be in sight with unseen lurk’d into thee all their hearts’ delightingales or does music picks up again! Then her throne after a spire thus, that the death survive I forget. But great set me sitting all alone, so deeply on the various ways, that which perish in Honors seat with which theys of the World!

               19

While we forswore had deck’d not kept. Sunk in Clouded Cane with chocolate locking hearts with the depth below. Long with Cups and chain’d, of brown whelp to croon. For lo! To overflow. Your first is dress: well she sleep speak, or English poets who say! Who taught surpassed from th’ Exchanging selves, supremely take delightful, deeper. Broken your fingers, duly rear’d a third sex. The standeth behind Thee! The air of thy complain. And not let me ride the anger is the air of Rome.

               20

Yet something recite what they shifts, we before me so happy draught withers by Night the Foe drew with the case of the day on the very one of hermit Age mights in ecstasy I love had summons straight me in disarms—these, no tongue be your pleasant: also a paul; and from Camelot still said to me, and ne’er taste a flocculent dust distance and a Thumb subdued and sense of the joking from sorrow o’er it, when all powders of Zion, and fight you may discourse, who will die some disdains, and too well, saw them go, before, and stone? Caught rest it was summer and that new regen’rate grown old, which must do my dear as he saints,—I love is but dearest face I would redeem your warmer curvëd points of mine?

               21

Fresh as true knight. To dance! On one knee kneelings, a breath is my invention to obtain, and their new friend, tost on the sense of no great year of ivory stages but fill or men can fight, she’s safe. Bitter shine, and fisherman swore her will that the Spout: a Pipkin they haled us to breath, and that fond of pain—even weep over your reaching. Tell her Airy Band; she taught that plea by some sport—of the Skies. Make your hands from the mystick Mazes guide, for when unto me.

               22

Breaks: I dare all to her Eyes half languish, and tell yours, not evident this second was girt to cloudwhite crown of Speech, or the free: meant to keep so chast met this praise, if She is in power to weep out the Skies. Hair is thy nose lines together legs. And children in each other beauty of thy most find the gutter. I love and subjected, and Vice, and since throne,—and ev’n thy worth know, the will give, so my freed from the punch, but next she while I despaire take cover the Lady of Shalott. Babes to fold thy count the Water glide, as wait on fall in little. Without thy breast, and to torture made of glory earth and worse, to sage or chance, stupidity, and paddling and, standing to you know nor he will stay!

               23

What never fight all in fixt on his gained. Sweetheart, my lassie ever slavery, saying his purposes an ill revived, body talking had, to junketing and, but no more solemnized that vow, that to my gaol: and then only they gratitude, chewing his imprison’d pride, half-drooping; and then one how thou bear’st love me a grave while than it becoming Century. When once Ulysses held or love of Ombre, none to human the yellow head is all the brave.

[littlesmartart]

Now I’m curious, what songs do you aggressively assign to xiyao and 3zun? (Only somewhat related, have you ever heard the song “Heart of Stone” from the SIX soundtrack? Excluding one line (without my son your love would disappear), I feel very passionately that it is a Yanli talking about Zixuan song.)

under a cut because this got RIDICULOUSLY long haha

okay okay so XIYAO... first of all, let's get this tragic shit over and done with -

Burn from Hamilton (I drew a comic here)

Sympathy by Kyla La Grange is a guilty JGY reflecting on their relationship (A lead weight for your open palm / And a white shirt over your bloody heart / To think I thought I was all you are / I was missing from the start / Couldn't let you cradle my head or stay / Let you waste your wonderful words / In my sleep I circled your heart with red ink / When I woke you were already hurt)

Broken by Jake Bugg is Xichen towards the end of canon (For you have become / All I lost and all I hoped for / But I must carry on / Always one, never broken / Run to the lobby where I saw you try / Don't give a damn for your reasons why)

Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want, specifically the Muse cover because of how jarring and discordant it is, is JGY having his breakdown in the temple and cry-yelling at Xichen (Haven't had a dream in a long time / See, the life I've had / Can make a good man bad / So for once in my life / Let me get what I want / Lord knows, it would be the first time)

Mr Blue by Catherine Feeney being JGY at the end of canon because colour symbolism (Mr. Blue / I told you that I love you / Please believe me / Mr. Blue / I have to go now, darling / Don't be angry / I know that you're tired / Know that you're sore and sick and sad for some reason / So I leave you with a smile / Kiss you on the cheek / And you will call it treason)

aaaand then for some happy stuff because you know in any universe they'd be the soppiest most heart-eyes chin-hands motherfuckers at each other. I think that really you could apply a lot of [dreamy sigh] [lovesick smile] [deep yearning] ballads to them tbh?

Somethin' Stupid, and I'm going to recommend the Robbie version because that's the one I have and I legit like it so shut up. I think this would be mostly how everyone outside sees them - as two people who are being so weirdly anxious whilst also desperately embarrassingly and obviously mutually pining 🙄 (I know I'd stand in line / Until you think you have the time / To spend an evening with me / And if we go someplace to dance / I know that there's a chance / You won't be leaving with me / Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place / And have a drink or two / And then I go and spoil it all / By saying something stupid / Like I love you)

My Guy by Kele Okereke because it's just!!! so soppy and romantic and this cover was made specifically for an album of queer wedding songs called "Universal Love"!! (I've got sunshine on a cloudy day / When it's cold outside / I've got the month of May / Well I guess you'd say / What can make me feel this way? / My guy / I'm talkin' 'bout my guy)

Atlas: Two by Sleeping At Last - I found this song through a gorgeous Wangxian video but I think it works really really well for Xiyao too, because they also have that mutual Let Me Take Care Of You Forever Please love language (I know exactly how the rule goes / Put my mask on first / No, I don't want to talk about myself / Tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'Til you're good as new / And maybe one day, I'll get around / To fixing myself, too)

Yellow by Coldplay because that colour symbolism!! Xichen @ JGY (And your skin / Oh yeah, your skin and bones / Turn in to something beautiful / Do you know / For you, I'd bleed myself dry / For you, I'd bleed myself dry)

3zun is a little more complicated but I do have some!

Up In Flames by Coldplay with that sense of slow inevitable destruction (So it's over / This time you're flying on / This time I know no song / Can stop, its slowly burn / Can stop, it's slowly gone / Up in flames / Up in flames / Up in flames / We have slowly gone)

Safety Of Distance by Lior - this one is specifically about NieYao reconciling and 3zun coming back together, be that in a happier AU or in a fierce corpse AU post-canon (And all the colours will return to these hills / Where the dust of despair takes hold / One day they will drink from these now still waters / Where there's a will there's a road / It won't bring back lovers and friends, / But it might make for a happier end)

Coming Down by Halsey (I drew a comic here)

Gone Gone Gone by Phillip Phillips and this one is perhaps more Xichen @ NieYao than 3zun mutually, although in an AU where they've reconciled it work (When you fall like a statue / I'm gon' be there to catch you / Put you on your feet, you on your feet / And if your well is empty / Not a thing will prevent me / Tell me what you need / What do you need? / I surrender honestly / You've always done the same for me / So, I would do it for you, for you / Baby, I'm not movin' on / I'll love you long after you're gone)

Keep Moving by The Boxer Rebellion - a general sense of inevitability but clinging to each other in the time they have (One by one / I know we have seen some things / That could have torn us apart / Threaten what we have been / And I have asked myself / What could be more then this / And if you left me tomorrow / It is all I know I'd miss / But I know... / Keep moving with me now / Keep moving with me now / We have seen / The way its gonna be / The way its gonna be)

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Travel To My Heart (K.SJ)

Warnings : mentions of cheating, a failing relationship, talk about a club

Word Count : 3030

Synopsis : she only meant to travel for a month and find herself before returning to her boyfriend, but instead she left for 6 months and fell in love with another man.

“My travel buddy, I’ll help you find yourself; I promise.” He smiled, holding his pinky out towards me. I linked my pinky with his, smiling back.

           “I’ll help you have a breath of fresh air; I promise.”

           “I have to work late.” Namjoon gave me a quick kiss goodbye, leaving without another word. I looked through all the pictures I took on my vacation, most of them being of the handsome man I met on the plane. The man who made me realize just how wrong my relationship with Namjoon is. When I left, I wanted to work everything out, fix the things that were wrong and come out stronger than before. But meeting Kim Seokjin changed everything.

           “I figured you’d be hungry after your nap.” My eyes were wide as I scanned all the dishes set out on the table of our Airbnb.

           “You made all of this?” I asked, looking over to Jin as I took a seat across from him. He nodded sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t even know where to start, everything looks delicious.” I exclaimed as I grabbed the chopsticks next to my bowl of rice.

           “Try this.” He said, taking some food with his chopsticks and placing on top of my rice. I smiled at him as I took it in my own chopsticks and placed it in my mouth, practically moaning at how good it tasted.

           “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” I could see the blush rising to his cheeks at the compliment. He tried to hide it and dig into the food himself, but I noticed it and couldn’t help but smile at the affect I had on him. “You’ve got to cook more often during this trip.”

           “Deal.”

           I’m not sure exactly when it happened. When my feelings began to shift from platonic to romantic; maybe they were never platonic to begin with. All I knew is one morning I woke up in the same bed as him, the sun shining in through the window, illuminating his face, and I couldn’t help but to think about how handsome he was. His eyes had soon fluttered open, and a part of me believed he could hear the pounding of my heart and woke up. He smiled when he saw I was staring at him, and it took everything in me not to kiss him right in that moment. I had a boyfriend waiting for me back home.

           A smart person would have decided to end their trip then, go back home and reconcile with their significant other, but I stayed. I stayed for another 2 months with the man I was slowly falling for. I stayed and made memories that would last me a lifetime. Memories of laughter and smiles. Memories of waves crashing on the beach and hot chocolate moustaches.

           I swear I only meant to leave for a month to find who I am without Namjoon, our relationship starting in junior high and lasting all the way into adulthood. I swear I only meant to discover myself and return to his side, happy and in love. But instead I left for 6 months and fell in love with another man.

           All the arguments and silent treatments started to have no effect on me. I no longer longed for the way things used to be, back when we first fell in love. Instead I longed for the man I walked away from. I longed for the late-night drives, singing at the top of our lungs completely out of tune. I longed for the lazy days in bed, watching dumb movies on his laptop with an array of snacks surrounding us. I longed for mornings waking up to his face and knowing everything was okay. I longed for Kim Seokjin.

           “What are you making?” I asked, taking a seat on one of the barstools at the island. Jin looked up from the bowl he was mixing ingredients in for only a second before going back to what he was doing.

           “Brownies.” He answered simply with a smile on his face. “Want to help?” I perked up and quickly jumped off the stool and rushed to his side, ready to help. “You can start mixing the dry ingredients into that bowl.” He told me, pointing at a bowl on the counter, surrounded by bags of ingredients.

           “Oops.” I said after only a couple minutes. Jin stopped what he was doing to see what I had somehow messed up on. When I turned to face him, he immediately burst into laughter, seeing me covered in flour. I pouted as I grabbed another handful and threw it at him. “It’s not so funny now, is it?” I teased.

           “Oh you did it now, princess.” He smirked, and that’s how the food fight began. The entire kitchen, ourselves included, was covered in different ingredients meant to make brownies. The brownies never got made, but we sat on the floor, our backs up against the wall, and we laughed. We laughed until there was tears in our eyes and pains in our stomachs. We laughed until we couldn’t laugh anymore, and then I rested my head on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of mine.

           Namjoon came home late like he said he would, but it didn’t bother me like it used to. It didn’t matter to me if he was actually at work, or if he had met someone else. I almost didn’t notice the smell of perfume that I didn’t own. Our relationship was over a long time ago, but neither one of us wanted to let go. We worked so hard to get to where we are. We’d fought through so much to just let it all go.

           But it was time to let go. Which is why all my things were packed into suitcases and boxes. Which is why Yoongi was outside in his truck, waiting for me to say goodbye. “I guess this is for the best.” He said, taking in how empty the house looks. I wanted to cry, to have some kind of reaction to the end of 13-year long relationship. But I felt nothing. I was numb.

           “It is.” I answered, picking up a couple bags and heading out to put them in my best friend’s truck. Both Yoongi and Namjoon helped pack everything up. And as Yoongi got back into the driver’s seat, Namjoon and I stood in front of the door, saying our final goodbyes.

           “I guess this is goodbye.” I nodded, looking down at our feet before looking up at him again.

           “I hope you have a good life, Joon.”

           “I hope you do too, Y/N.” And with that, I got into Yoongi’s truck and Namjoon went into our, his, house.

           “How do you feel?” Yoongi asked as we pulled away, driving to his place that he was kind enough to let me crash at until I could get my own.

           “Good.” I smiled and looked over at him. “I feel good.”

           “Want to go to the aquarium?” Jin asked as we ate breakfast. My eyes went wide as I nodded as fast as I could. He chuckled, shaking his head at my enthusiasm, before clearing the table. “I’ll clean up, go get ready and we can head out.” I tried to protest, saying I should clean up since he cooked, but he wouldn’t have it. “I want to spoil you today.” He smiled, pushing me out of the kitchen. And he did.

           It was my first time at the aquarium, and I ran around like a little kid, pointing out all the fishes. I watched as Jin took pictures of me, saying something about how pretty I looked when I was excited. We got a couple strangers to take pretty pictures of the two of us as well. But Jin took the most pictures when we went to the area where we could touch different animals. I pet the stingrays and the starfish. I held on to every fact the instructor told us.

           I’m sure I talked Jin’s ear off for an hour when we went to dinner afterwards. But he just sat and stared as I went on and on, a smile on my face. He showed me some of the pictures he took, and I whined at how bad I looked. But he told me I was pretty in all of them.

           We got ice cream after dinner and walked around as the sun set on the horizon. “Thank you.” I said, throwing away my empty ice cream cup and sliding my hand into his.

           “Anything for you, princess.”

           I wanted to reach out to him, tell him things are over with Namjoon, tell him I love him. But I had no way how. Namjoon made me delete his number when I got home. We agreed to work things out, so he deleted the number of the girl he was seeing when I was gone, and I deleted Jin’s. A fresh start as Namjoon put it.

           Yoongi asked me if I wanted to just stay with him. He said his apartment felt more like home with me around and my stuff cluttering his shelves. It seemed more lived in, and he liked that feeling. He was gone a lot, working at the studio, or performing at some club. “It’s nice to come home and having it not feel so empty.” He told me, and so I stayed.

           Now that I was single, Yoongi would drag me to his performances. Namjoon and I went to a couple when Yoongi first started out, wanting to support his dream. But as our relationship got rocky and fights were more frequent, we stopped. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw how large the crowd was, nearly tripling the amount when he first began.

           “I’m so proud of you.” I beamed at him as he got ready to go onstage. He tried to fight the smile and keep his reputation as cold-hearted Agust D, but he’s never been able to keep that façade around me.

           “Are you going to stay back here?” He asked as someone told him he was on in 5 minutes.

           “I want the full experience; it’s been too long. Besides, I saw the guys right at the front. I’ll join them.” He nodded and I took my leave, meeting the friends he introduced me to a few weeks prior in the front row.

           “Hey Y/N!” Jimin exclaimed, pulling me in for a hug. I greeted all of them, excited to see my best friend on stage again.

           “You’ve come so far!” I exclaimed as the 6 of us walked down the block to a 24/7 diner for a celebratory dinner. “Like seriously, Yoongs, you were incredible. You were meant to be on stage!”

           “Oh shut up.” Yoongi said, but I could see the rose colour dusting his cheeks and the smile he was trying to hide.

           “The effect you have on Yoongi hyung is incredible.” Jungkook joked, playfully bumping Yoongi with his shoulder. I linked my arm through Yoongi’s as we walked, something I used to do when we were growing up, before Namjoon and I started dating.

           “I missed this.” I thought out loud, and the others just looked at Yoongi and I with small smiles dancing across their lips. We walked the rest of the way in silence, but that didn’t last long before the younger boys burst into stories of dumb decisions they’ve made. Hoseok and Yoongi joined in with some of their stories, and I just listened to all of them, hanging on to every word they all said, laughing along with them. And all I could think is that Jin would absolutely love them.

           Jin would join in with some of his own stories, making all of them laugh. He would critique the food as if he was a famous food critic, putting on a performance as he did it, accent, and all. He would join in the teasing of the other boys, but then make sure everyone had enough to eat before we left.

           Yes, Jin would get along well with my new friends and my best friend. He would make it seem like we’ve known each other for years. He would make all of us wonder how this hasn’t been the way it’s always been. Because everything would fall perfectly into place like this is the way it should have been.

           I wish I didn’t choose Namjoon over Seokjin all those months ago.

           One afternoon when Yoongi was at the studio, I decided to walk around, maybe find a quiet place to read and just get out of the apartment. I packed my book into my purse and put in my earbuds before leaving, bopping my head along to the music playing.

           I checked out a couple stores as I wandered before stumbling across a small café. Looking through the window, it seemed almost empty, but it was practically calling to me. A bell dinged when I opened the door, catching the attention of the barista behind the counter. I took in the rustic décor and smiled at the familiar scent of coffee. “Just an iced latte please, to stay.” I ordered, smiling softly at the teenager behind the counter.

           As I waited for my drink, I looked around, taking in the whole café. There were a few customers scattered about, some chit-chatting, some working. As I scanned over the tables, my eyes stopped on a familiar face, my heart skipping a beat. An entire beat. It’s like fate called out to me this warm afternoon and placed me here at the exact time Kim Seokjin would be here.

            I grabbed my finished drink, the book I was planning to read forgotten at the bottom of my purse, and confidently walked up to the man I’ve missed every single day since we returned from vacation. “Mind if I sit?” I asked, pointing at the empty chair across from him. He looked up from his laptop, eyes widening when he saw me standing in front of him.

           “Please do.” He smiled, closing his laptop, and putting it into his bag. Silence settled around us after I sat down, neither one of us knew what to say. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t know where to start, or if he even wanted to hear my excuses for leaving him at the airport, walking away hand in hand with Namjoon. “How’ve you been?” He settled on small talk. But it’s better than nothing. It’s better than silence.

           “Good. I’ve been really good.” I smiled. “How’ve you been?”

           “Good.” The silence settled again. I hated how awkward things were. It was never like this between us, not even when we met on the plane, agreeing to travel around together.

           “Namjoon and I broke up.” I finally said. “Our relationship had been over for a while, I think. We both fell out of love but didn’t want to make the move to leave.” I continued, fiddling with my cup of coffee, the ice slowly melting and watering it down.

           “How do you feel about that?”

           “Honestly, relieved.” He let out a small chuckle.

           “You look great, like you’ve truly found yourself.” I looked down at what I was wearing. An outfit I never dared to wear when I was with Namjoon. I grew up with him, matured with him. And it seemed like we turned into each other, becoming one single person instead of separate identities in one relationship.

           “You helped a lot. But I think finally ending things and moving out was the final straw.” I didn’t let the silence settle around us again. Instead I jumped in and told him about Yoongi and his performances. I told him about Hoseok and Jimin and Taehyung and Jungkook. I told him about all the antics they get up to and the adventures they’ve dragged me out on. I’ve done so many things I never dreamed of doing when I was with Namjoon, and I felt truly happy.

           But I stared ahead at the man I fell in love with in a foreign country, and he smiled softly as he listened to me talk about my new friends, and I knew I could be happier.

           He told me all the things he’s done since we got back. How he doesn’t put as much pressure on himself at work. All the new ideas he’s come up with that have been huge successes for his business and thanked me for helping him get out of his head.

           And I watched him talk, a small smile on my face. He seemed relaxed and happy. Things seemed to just fall back into place with us as we talked for hours, our previous plans long forgotten in each other’s company.

           It’s like we travelled back in time, back to a different country, sightseeing and getting lost but not caring. But instead we were in our home country, walking around under the stars since the café closed. Soon we were standing outside the apartment building I now lived in, but I didn’t want to say goodbye. “I want to see you again, Jin.” I said before he could turn to leave. “Namjoon made me delete your number.” I told him as I handed him my phone, an empty contact open for him to add in his number for a second time.

           “Anything for my princess.” He smiled, handing my phone back to me, his number saved once again. “I hope to see you soon.” I nodded and he left.

           I swear I only meant to leave for one month, find myself and return to Namjoon’s side and love him like I used to. Instead, I left for six months and fell in love with the perfect man.

           He meant to leave and get a breath of fresh air, travel the world, and get new ideas for his business. And while we travelled the world together, making memories that would last a lifetime, he travelled into my heart and made a home.

[princesssarisa]

A further remark on Helen Keller

Yes, the fact that Helen Keller supported eugenics is terrible and disturbing. It’s a blot on her legacy and hard to reconcile with everything else about her.

But for goodness’ sake, don’t cite her childhood behavioral issues as evidence that she was “always a bad person”!

I don’t remember where I saw someone do this, but I did. “It’s because her parents spoiled her,” they wrote. “She was a bitch to her teacher.”

Her childhood tantrums and misbehavior were partly because her parents thought she was too fragile for discipline, yes, but also because couldn’t communicate, which made her angry. She was a child – and no seven-year-old, abled or disabled, is a master of impulse control – struggling to cope with a world she couldn’t perceive or respond to the way other people did.

It’s common for disabled children to have behavioral issues related to their disability. As an autistic child, I had behavioral issues. When I was the same age Helen Keller was when Anne Sullivan came into her life, I also threw ferocious tantrums and physically lashed out at people when I was frustrated and overwhelmed. I still sometimes feel guilty about it, even though I understand why it happened, and I sometimes even wonder if I’m really a good person or not if I was capable of all that. I think the main reason why I’ve always had strong feelings about Keller is because when I first learned the story of her childhood, her behavioral issues reminded me of myself.

Does that mean I support eugenics? Does that mean all similar children take inhumane political stances as adults? I don’t think so! 

Besides, how does that arguments make sense? How could merely “being a spoiled brat” cause a severely disabled woman to argue that severely disabled infants should be allowed to die? If I had to guess what caused her to take that stance, I might suspect that there was some degree of self-loathing and internalized ableism in her. That her thought process might have been “I was miserable until I was educated, and I was an ill-behaved monster and a burden on my family – children too disabled to be educated like I was will be miserable monsters and burdens all their lives.” Just the opposite of "It was because her parents spoiled her too much”!

To look at a disabled person’s disability-related behavioral issues as a child and view them as foreshadowing for anything problematic she says or does as an adult has massive unfortunate implications. Please don’t do it.

[vivid-wisp]

You know how it be suffering from big brainrot being into FNF so I’ve compiled a list of ideas for the characters. This is more so for myself but thought I'd share some of my ideas. Take this as you will, these headcanons are based on educated guesses, actual lore, or just for fun. I also really like explaining my reasoning for some stuff so be ready for that. Long post. :]

Boyfriend / BF

- Is asian specifically Japanese, based on the idea how the dev team like to agree Hatsune Miku is BF’s canon sibling. Can also be asian American.

- Despite his appearance BF is actually somewhat physically strong and capable. If he can’t rap battle someone he’d be down to beat someone up, based on the idea how PA (Phantom Arcade) says he sucks at FromSoftware games and would rather throw down IRL than in video games.

- Him and Pico were exes, but they dated when they were WAY YOUNGER, and this was before when BF or Pico knew how to handle a relationship properly. Pico was the one to call things off. (more on Pico’s section) They may still get kind of flustered around each other.

- For most of his childhood, BF never really felt like he stood out. It leads into the reason why he likes singing since it ironically feels like he's being heard, despite not really liking to talk a lot. He was a very quiet kid back then. He'd always liked singing and rapping, he just wasn't put into a position of intense judgement until meeting GF's father and mother, rockstar and ex-rockstar. Training arc begins.

- BF took courses/majored in music design or sound design in college, but dropped out to spend more time with Girlfriend and practice his musical talent himself seeing as it felt more natural than doing boring classes.

- Despite what people think, BF doesn’t dye his hair. It WAS a different color but a shade, like a lighter blue color when he was younger. (Based on Ninjamuffin/NM's recent AMA answers)

- BF owns a dog, not specific but definitely a large breed of dog that stays at home and is taken care of by his parents. He loves a lot of pets and animals, especially anything blue.

- It’s no surprise BF isn’t the smartest, but this comes from a place of putting on the “bad boy” act and being told he’d never make it anywhere in life so he never tried. BF is really a soft guy who deep down has a good heart and just wants to show his appreciation to the person (GF) who makes him feel okay knowing you don’t have to be the best.

- BF actually CAN speak, but chooses to be selectively mute. More so because he’s not the best when it comes to words, and he’s never felt the need to talk. Don’t expect much because like in Week 6, it’ll likely just be random noises he makes or his signature “beeps!” He still reacts, just with noises. (we ignore the logic of him singing it just sounds like beeps to us the players while everyone in universe perfectly understands) [just saw NM's recent AMA I GODDAMN CALLED IT LET'S GOOOO]

Girlfriend / GF

- GF unsurprisingly, has a very wealthy background and in turn family too. So she’s no stranger to most expensive things. This doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate anything BF gifts her, in fact she’s more than appreciative of anything if it comes from BF her love.

- May or may not be a demon like her parents but she doesn’t want to scare BF, and also has slight appearance anxieties about it so she chooses to hide it by staying in her “human” form. She's self conscious of appearing like a demon, and doesn't want to scare people away just based on her look.

- So yes GF can and will in fact beat you up, a lot more than BF if she really wanted to. Especially if she went into her demon form.

- Also not the brightest, due to her extravagant background she’s been so spoiled to the point where everything is handed to her on a silver plate. Which also means her intelligence. They're both himbo/bimbo dynamic I don’t make the rules sorry.

- Actually really good at singing herself too, she’s a bit more wonky with rapping but she’s still good. Ties into the fact GF is the first to teach you how to rap/sing in the tutorial. If she really wanted to, she would destroy BF in a singing battle.

- Kinda aloof and can be apathetic, but more in the sense of “oh cool" instead of a "not caring" feeling way. Like moving on from something that was most definitely not cool like oh my god does that monster with bloody human teeth have a lemon for a head-

- Absolutely adores the large height difference between her and BF. She loves picking BF up suddenly and swinging him around. It’s cute and funny to her. (BF likes the height difference dynamic too but he'd never admit it)

Pico

- Pico never went to college nor finished, instead he takes up jobs from around the city as a mercenary. He's so skilled to the point it pays well enough he doesn't really need a job. He owns a small apartment.

- He likes spending time when he's not on the job, around BF and GF but this is more so at a distance. He does hang out with them, but don't expect him to show up automatically by their side. Like maybe once a week.

- Despite his original job to kill BF, Pico is very protective of BF and looks out for him albeit distantly. He knows BF can handle himself, but he will risk jumping into a situation if BF needs help. ONLY when he needs help.

- Pico still spends time with Nene and Darnell, but this is more so as an acquaintance thing. They're still friends, but all three of their jobs (as assassin and mercs) make things kind of awkward and distance from one another.

- Pico has a lot of untreated trauma, whether that be PTSD, schizophrenia, OCD, etc, a lot of it is very untreated. While Pico is aware he has some mental health disorders he's not aware of ALL of them. He frankly doesn't care nor does he really feel like dedicating the time to properly help himself, which stems from his upbringing in his childhood, "deal with it" attitude back then. He doesn't think it's a big deal, even though deep down he knows he should seek help. Especially after hanging out with BF and GF who, unsurprisingly, are (relatively) normal in the head unlike his friends Nene and Darnell. His disorders disrupt his everyday life and living routine, he can have a lot of very bad days.

- Pico is a wannabe DJ, he likes to sing and rap but prefers the latter and likes listening to music more rather than doing it itself. When he was a kid he liked BF for his passion for singing and rapping, and admired him in a way.

- BF and Pico went to the same elementary school, and were very much friends. After the events of Pico's School, Pico acted very different than how BF knew him, and somewhere along that path BF and Pico decided to date each other when they were in middle school (at 13-14). This was very much a hasty decision and didn't end well. Pico was the one to break things off due to knowing he couldn't handle the responsibility of another person, especially in a relationship. He had too much on his plate already from the trauma that still haunted him, and also was around the time Pico told BF he would be getting homeschooled instead after many years of decision with Pico's parents. It was best to end things before they'd spiral and get worse.

- While BF was heartbroken, he knew it was for the better even if he was upset for quite a bit. After Pico became homeschooled and left middle school, BF noticeably became more quiet until he'd meet GF near the beginning of high school. Pico and BF tried to keep in contact, but eventually naturally just fell out of touch with each other, both too busy with their own lives now. Pico never really resolved his whole feelings issues, which still show up when he'd meet BF years later again but knows those feelings are best left behind.

- While Pico was very surprised and shocked to see BF again despite being commissioned to kill BF, BF himself was too busy being caught up in seeing an old friend again. Whether that be BF was either too dumb to realize he was being killed or because he was genuinely very happy to see his old friend again, the two had a small reconcile after so many years and decided to rap for old time's sake.