#so idk maybe i'll go to bed before 4 am this time if i get my act together lmao

[rocketturtle4]

How much is Mew playing stop, slow, go?

(I'm shadowbanned fyi so no idea how posting is going to go)

Okay so I had a thought about the tricolours of Mews shirt and beadspread but I had planned to leave it, until I saw this gifset by @raypakorn (partially used below) and then I had MORE Thoughts and then I watched OF again (again again again) and then I started spiralling SO

Have some thoughts that aren't a real theory yet. (@waitmyturtles as asked although not sure @ing will work right now)

From the opening we get red, green and white wristbands. I had several side convos with people (@anon451 +(@plantsarepeopletoo posted some other Mew related thoughts we discussed here)) about whether white was about sexuality or about pace or virgin status (there are, for the record, other people wearing white wristbads in the bar)

but after seeing the above linked gifset I became pretty sure white = yellow = slow (already a prevailing theory I think)

Mew wears tricolours in both his initial meeting of Top at the bar and his later return to the bar before taking top home with him. (That I think is evidence of this theory if it is a theory applying to only Mew ftr (and maybe Top when with Mew))

yellow, red, green on the top in shapes (I'll talk about the yellow background in a mo)

also his t-shirt above is yellow

tricolours again - yellow, red, green stripes this time

Later when we're making out we initially have green go:

(chairs and grapes)

but when Top tries to start things again after Mew stops them:

we're back in yellow for slow.

Also the bed scene

both on yellow (pillows), mew leaning into red

mew moves onto the green.

(For the record this bed spread also looks kind of blue however for the purpose of GO I am not sure the distinction is important because in a side convo with @plantsarepeopletoo and @anon451 and @lurkingteapot we discussed how the green go in some countries (like Japan) is blue AND in terms of light and primary colouts, blue is a primary colour that is needed to make green in painting etc but green is the colour needed to make blue in the light spectrum I'm pretty sure, so like blue/green is being considered equivalent here)

(Edit for additional info, from @lurkingteapot: ao (written 青, also read sei) is a colour that spans a spectrum of both what English calls blue and green, and it also means "fresh" in the sense of "green behind the ears" -- young leaves are aoba, aozameru is to turn green/pale (in the face), seinen is young men around twenty. To make matters more complicated, 蒼 (sou; deep blue) and 碧 (heki/hyaku; jade green) can ALSO both be read "ao", so it's sort of like, idk … English calls both blue and light blue "blue", but in Japanese, light blue is "mizuiro" ("the colour of water")? Colour boundaries just shift across language in fascinating ways)

(Edit also a helpful video about colours and how language shapes them @anon451)

ALSO there was a post going round saying the days of the week montage was linked to mew and the writing is yellow again (it is also yellow in the intro bit where we start with Mew)

So how much, for Mew specifically, are yellow and green (and red) important? I dunno.

BUT

In the days montage we have top in blue then green then green then blue again (blue=green=go = Mew is happy with current events)

does this mean something??? IDK but nobody else wears colours as much

The bar lighting is also interesing. Mew is introduced in yellow 1/4

Meets top in Yellow 1/4

and later in 4/4 sits with Top in yellow

despite the fact that when Chaeum sat next to him

they were not both in the yellow.

(if anyones curious bar also has Red = Stage area and Green = bathroom but I am focusing on Mew here because I am not sure the colours matter to anyone else...)

MORE YELLOW

Mews intro shot on a yellow couch to go with his yellow bookcase

(also side note most of the other intro's have tints of red or less colour but tops is just like GREEEEEN+blue):

Mew and top lighting during the confession scene:

top in blue, mew in yellow.

Does it mean anything? I don't know

current not really a theory is that yellow = slow = control

Because this is A LOT of yellow for it not to mean things.

[nmcggg]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @neverevan @made-ofmemories and @diazsdimples thank you!

How many works do you have on ao3?

6! I only started writing a little over a year ago and I am a very, very slow writer.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

68,008

3. What fandoms do you write for?

9-1-1 only at the moment.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos:

I got a bed but I’d rather be in ours tonight (6.7k, Buddie, Explicit) Thighs and Eyes (3.7k, Buddie, Explicit) Kiss your lips blue (7k, Buddie, Explicit) I'll Be Your Gift, Give You Something Good To Celebrate (6.4k, Buddie, Explicit) Sweet Nothing (37.8k, Buddie, Teen and up)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!!! Every time, comments absolutely make my day and I don't feel like my responses ever do justice to just how giddy I am when I get a nice comment!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think any of my fics are even remotely angsty (though maybe some in the near future might be idk idk) but I don't think I could ever write something with an angsty ending. Happy endings only over here.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all of my fics have very happy endings but I'll go with Sweet Nothing maybe, as it's super happy with also hints at even more happiness in their future too. :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far no, thank god.

9. Do you write smut?

Most definitely, four of the six fics I have up are smut but I always like to put a lot of plot in there too!

10. Craziest crossover?

I don't write crossovers, it's just not my thing personally.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, I really hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, put people are welcome to as long as they link my fic :)

13. Have you co-written a fic before?

No but I hope to soon!

14. All time favorite ship?

Buddie buddie buddie buddie buddie

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have a few I started when I first got into 911 that would need some crazy reworking to still make sense but I'm still hopeful lol. The hangover au is really hanging on by a thread because the 911 writers blatantly stole my idea to steal the hangover movie's idea (jk) I'll definitely still write it but it's kinda been put on hold.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at writing descriptively? I also get some lovely comments on how I write emotions which makes me very happy :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think my pacing could use a lot of work. Sometimes things feel a little too fast and other times I go on for too long. My dialogue can also be hit or miss depending on the character.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I can't speak any language other than English and like super basic Irish so I just don't trust myself to write in another language well. If I had someone's help I would be open to it though.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

I think I wrote one direction fics back when I was like 12-15 but I only actually posted one fic before I started writing for 911 and that was destiel about a decade ago (and it was deleted like 6 months later)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Ahhhh I'm not sure, I have things I both love and hate about all of them, but I think I have to pick Sweet Nothing because I put my heart and soul into that fic for months and it inspired me to keep writing longer fics.

I feel like most people have already been tagged so sorry if you've already done this, but tagging: @wikiangela @watchyourbuck @spagheddiediaz @thewolvesof1998 @rogerzsteven

@jesuisici33 @sunshinediaz @daffi-990 @rainbow-nerdss @theotherbuckley

+ whoever else wants to do it!

[baahsu]

in my thinking about yonjis absurd strength era so woe yonji focused vscest appreciation post be upon ye

or more so specifically appreciation of how *easily* he could overpower pretty much all his siblings?? the only one we've seen be able to injure him in canon is sanji so he might be the exception but yk sanjis too much of a bottom to really fight back anyway lol

just. hear me out. yonji wanting to fuck a certain sibling and just.. looking at them for a moment before walking over to them, effortlessly picking them and then hauling them to the nearest private area. like imagine the first time this'd happen!!!

timeline wise he'd probably do it to niji first?? maybe yonji was watching niji flirting with a few service girls and then got unknowingly jealous- leading to him walking over and picking up niji in one arm, hauling his ass over his shoulder and bringing him to one of their bedrooms. niji was probably beating his hands against his back the whole time- face red, voice high pitched with embarrassment, and punches getting more and more aggressive until he was thrown onto a bed and *forced* to shut up.

idk i just think yonji should fuck niji dumb sometimes to get him to shut his noisy ass up 😌😌 niji deserves to be edged and teased to tears- not get fucked into oblivion- but hes hot as a bottom so ig he gets a pass. by the end of it i doubt he could talk, too high on good sex to form anything coherent… bimbo energy…

cant decide if reiju or ichiji would be next timeline wise but I'll go ichiji so reiju can start The Whipping post wci <3<3

but even saying that idrk what scenario would lead yonji to picking up ichi… uhhh hmm maybe… post 14ji mission the two r alone together and ichiji takes off his raidsuit in front of yonji, leaving him butt ass naked (a common occurrence that happens btwn the siblings even pre when they started fucking lol) and yonji is suddenly struck with the Vinsmoke Horny Gene™ which leads to him robotically walking over and picking ichi up :))

methinks yonji would pick ichiji up by folding his hands under his ass and trusting ichiji to wrap his legs around his waist (which ichi does, all while looking through his shades at yonji like "??" bc while hes not complaining/worried he IS confused lmao) this eventually leads to yonji carrying ichiji to the nearest bed, setting him down and just start *ravishing* him. by the end of it they're both numb (in a good way) and panting and ichiji looks over and says "Why didn't you just ask?" with yonji replying back w something along the lines of "Idk actually, you're just really hot." ichijis satisfied enough with that answer :]]

OKAY wci and sanji next <3<3

this ones easy for me- germa/124ji get sanj back and ofc immediately start wanting to fuck him upon seeing how hot hes become and sanji, while admittedly VERY confused and frightened, is like 'sure??' cause 124ji is hot and sex is sex lol. so sanjis walking (more like limping am i right :3c) around germa maybe a day or two before arriving at wci and yonjis just struck with the need to fuck him and fuck him *up* before he loses the vinsmoke name. so yonji walks over, throws that pretty boys ass into a firemans carry, and laughs as sanji is unable to fight back with his legs in that position.

yonji just drags him to a bedroom and throws him down before continuting to make sanji see stars- both because sanji looks good and pretty moaning underneath him and also bc this is kinda yonjis own fucked-up-horny-way of apologizing for all the bs he and 12ji put him thru. fuck away the trauma fahjkhjkklsas.. by the end of it sanjis only half conscious- covered in hickeys with a steady stream of blood coming out his nose and a stupid doped out smile on his face.. yonji likes that look on em

aaand last but not least mommy reijuuu <3<3<3

admittedly this one is more fluffy than smutty but 0&4 dynamic have a very specific place of joy in my heart so let me have this lol. so reijus out tryin on new clothes, yonji tagging along as her pack mule bc she promised him a reward 👀 for doing so, but as she walks out to keep showing off the outfits shes trying on (yonji just says they all look hot on her lmao) yonji eventually notices a creepy looking group of guys eyeing her up. now ofc reiju can take care of herself but.. whenever one of the dudes eyes linger too long on reijus ass whenever she walks out in a mini skirt well thats just too far for yonji. he straight up walks over to reiju, (gently) picks her up bridal style, and punches the douchebags through the wall on his way out. no they didnt pay for the clothes but the hells the store owner gonna do?? contest the man who put a hole in his wall??

anyways yonji carries her all the way back to a germa ship and only sets her down once they're alone and secure inside a bedroom- and reiju is IMMEDIATELY on him the second he puts her down (she could've gotten out of the hold anytime mind you- it was just a really sweet gesture so she didn't want to <3) her littlest brother?? showing concern for his nee-chan??? oh he deserves a reward :)) (his reward is being teased touched and ridden until hes screaming and drooling and laughing like a sex drunk idiot <3<3) what can reiju say?? that was a big step in yonjis journey of being able to Feel ofc she was gonna spoil him for a day ;]

HHAHA8AGIAH I PUT THIS IN A WORD DOC AND ITS LIKE OVER 1K WORDS LONG I AM SO SORRY 🙏🙈🙉

NO DON'T BE SORRY THIS IS THE BEST YONJI RELATED THING I'VE EVER READ EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS PERCEFT AND HOT AND DID I SAY PERFECT????

And it's even better because by the end he's starting to feel and omgkdjfksdfj but everything before that was so incredible too, his dynamic with each of the siblings was so accurate to me, I've never read 1k words so fat in my life, I WAS DEVOURING THIS

Niji being sort of tamed by yonji is incredibly hot, ichiji 100% trusting yonji is incredibly hot too, sanji having that starstruck look on him while covered in his nosebleeds is also incredibly hot and so reiju rewarding yonji. I'M ON MY KNEES OVER HERE, THANK YOU FOR THIS MASTERPIECE

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Personality :p

Ello! My name is Gillian I am requesting a ship for supernatural

* i'm the type of person that people regard as being very well adjusted but honestly i'm having a mental breakdown most of the time.

* i'm a deeply empathetic person, i care a lot about others and sometimes i forget to care for myself because of it.

* on the flip side of my sensitive/kind nature, i can be very feisty. I’m also DEEPLY sarcastic when i'm frustrated i just want to beat up something, and i become very passionate towards injustice. my friends say i'm like a kitten with a knife.

* additionally, i would consider myself a brave person. I don't struggle to have hard conversations with people (i don't like them but I'll do it),and I've stood up to every bully I've ever had

* due to my trust issues and rejections, i tend to feel like an outsider in most of my friend groups.

* TO FINISH IT OFF (this has become too long), i would consider myself a wise/intelligent person (i give good advice), resilient, but also easy going.

1. INFJ | Pisces sun, cancer moon, libra rising, pisces Venus | Ravenclaw | Neutral good

2. Things I love in myself: I love that I’m good at giving advice, that I can skip many of my classes and still stay on the dean’s list, and that I’m bold when I need to be

3. In a partner, I look for someone who will support and listen to me. I have a lot of different mental ailments, and if they won’t be understanding of that, then I can’t be with them. I also look for someone who is self sufficient (I can’t deal with laziness). Most importantly, they should be kind (i.e. If I’m ranting about things like sexism in a tv show, I want them to be able to understand why it’s important to me.)

4. I’m straight, unfortunately.

5. She/her

6. I’m the singer/guitarist in a rock band so music is very very important to me. I also love to draw and I read pretty much all the time. My ideal day is going to a coffee shop and then a bookstore. Which reminds me— I drink an obscene amount of coffee. I also take too many naps, especially with my cat, who is my baby. I like to write as well. I really love things that make my house look like a fairy’s home, so I like to collect that stuff. I’m also a nerd who does go to comic con (*boos are heard throughout the audience*)

7. Appearance wise!! I’m hella short, but it just means my personality is big. I have reddish brown hair with very round blue/green/grey eyes (idk their color people just say that they’re pretty), and a button nose.

Hi!! I hope you like your SPN matchup! <3333

---

Romantic;

---

Supernatural;

💐 You met Sam after you had gone to a coffee shop to get a drink, you walked into the nearby bookstore - you weren't looking for anything in particular, but when you accidently let a book slip from your arms, Sam the gentleman came right up and helped you; picking the book from off the ground, he gave you a smile; and before you knew it, you ended up talking for a good thirty minutes or so

💐 During the next couple of months, you and Sam would often meet up and go to that coffee shop together - swinging by the bookstore after - and just talking about everything and anything; he was quickly becoming a close friend of yours, even being front row at some of your rock concerts

💐 Skipping to actually dating, Sam is really supportive, if you want to do something, he is there to support you (follow your dreams - and he's a very good listener, if you just want to rant about your day, he's there; and if you want to rant about sexism in a tv show, Sam will understand how important it is to you, and probably join you in the ranting

💐 If you go down for a nap with your cat, he'd probably join you, if not, he'd most likely sit on the bed beside you, quietly reading - and when you wake up, he'd probably see if you want to go out and go on a small adventure to the bookstore

💐 Sam is totally down to go to Comic Con with you, if you dress up, he'd dress up too - and if you find something you like there (maybe a little something that makes your home more fairy-like), Sam is more than willing to carry it for you if you get tired carrying it for the how many hours you wander around the Con

[airenyah]

Current Tag Game

I was tagged by @telomeke and @lurkingteapot <3

Current Time:

23:14 as of me posting this

Current activity:

lying on my stomach in bed, typing out this ask game

Currently thinking about:

all the things i have to do for uni and also that one interpretation test i have on monday rip

Current favourite song:

listen. LISTEN. it is such a fun song, okay!! i love the vibes!! it just always puts me in a good mood, okay!!

Currently reading:

just a whooole bunch of stuff for uni. namely, italian articles on sustainable tourism for my interpretation test on monday (gotta familiarize myself with the lingo...) and some scientific literature on fansubbing for a paper i have to write on this topic this semester

Currently watching:

not a lot, i started my master's degree like a month ago and i haven't really started any new shows since

i've been trying to finish home school all summer and i'm still only on ep13 as of now rip (i might go watch another ep later, let's see how sleepy i am)

i also started watching bbs for the 23rd time a week ago! i'm doing a weekly anniversary rewatch and soooo tomorrow i get to watch ep2 hehe

oh and my mom sat me down in front of the kdrama andante the other day. we watched 3 or 4 episodes before i went back to the cursed city and so i'll be watching that over the next few weeks whenever i go back home

i might start another show at some point over the next week, idk. right now i'm trying not to get distracted bc of uni

Current favourite character:

pat napat jindapat has been living rent free in my head for the past two years now

Current WIP:

i think i have a bbs vs hidden agenda parallel gifset as well as a bbs vs only friends parallel gifset somewhere that i started in september and then just never finished???? idk. i'll have to go into my folders

plus, i started recording some thoughts on bbs and pat specifically for a meta that has been in my head for 2 whole years but never really posted. considering 24 months have passed and we all are still here i'm like... okay maybe posting it is worth it after all. so yeah, let's see if that will ever get written. it's not anything special, just some thoughts on my reading of pat and his awareness/obliviousness of his feelings. bc that differs from popular fandom interpretation

Tags:

uhhhh idk who's been tagged yet and who hasn't buuuut i'm just gonna say @newyearknwwme @killiru @visualtaehyun @moonkhao @cornflowershade

[soleadita]

the arospec eddie diaz post

in honor of aromantic awareness week and also me having a lot of thoughts about eddie diaz at all times, i'm going to talk about arospec eddie. sorry but not sorry. it needed to be said.

(tagging @xjustonemoremiraclex because i promised you a post about this a while ago but i had too many thoughts and no idea how to wrangle them. and ty @scattered-winter for witnessing the pure unfiltered chaos version of this unfold over dms <333)

this is sort of a spiritual successor to my queer pepa post, by which i mean it's about the possibilities!! i'm not saying i believe this is canon and i'm not saying i hope this is canon and i'm not saying it's the one and only and correct way to see eddie. i'm just saying the foundations are there, and the possibilities are fun to think about!! (and also ok fine, nothing about this man gives me any indication that he’s got a firm grasp on what romantic attraction feels like.)

disclaimers: (1) this is heavy on the projection; (2) I AM NOT SAYING I DON’T WANT BUDDIE CANON I DO WANT BUDDIE CANON I LOVE BUDDIE. this is just something i think about kind of a lot and i’m always saying i want more aro headcanons and interpretations of my beloved characters (or literally ANY characters, i'll take anything i can get), so i’m just trying to be the change i want to see in the world. (3) i really tried to make this as aro-focused as possible but it ended up being a blend of aroace + autistic because, like i said, this is projection, and for me, those three parts of me are wrapped up in each other in a way that's hard to separate; (4) re: canon and timelines, i did go and google a few things that i wasn’t sure about but other than that, most of this is pulled from my own recollections. if there’s anything glaringly and FACTUALLY incorrect, i’m so sorry, it was not intentional; (5) i tried to organize this in a way that somewhat makes sense but it's a little rambly; i hope the little subheadings help.

pre-canon | eddie & shannon

so ok. consider this:

maybe, as a teenager, eddie is captivated by shannon. she's pretty, and she's so vibrant, and she's interesting to him. he likes talking to her. he likes being around her. they're friends, but his friends, parents, sisters, whoever - they're annoying about him having a friend who's a girl. maybe his friends make suggestive comments and say shit, and maybe his parents start to ask questions, and maybe adriana is like, “oooh, eddie and shannon,” in that annoying (affectionate) way only little siblings can achieve. and at first he's irritated, but then he starts to overthink and wonder. “do i actually like-like her? well, what does that even mean? what does that feel like?”

and maybe he asks his parents or abuela, and they feed him lines that can basically double as a description for friendship: "someone you want to be close to, someone you can talk to, someone you can be yourself around, someone you like to spend time with." (entirely possible that the list would be different for people raised as cis dudes, idk actually, but this is what i grew up hearing.) and what if eddie takes this and thinks, “well...i guess i do feel like that about shannon?” and then maybe they touch a little more—they hold hands, they hug—and one day, she kisses him, and he's like, “well ok this is nice, i guess,” and he does like affection, his dad has always wanted him to be tough but he misses being little when abuela would pull him into her lap, and when it was ok to ask for hugs, and when his mom would kiss him on the forehead before he went to bed.

so he kisses shannon back, and that's just like something they do now? and he rolls with it. and he does care about her and he does love her but he just...? he just doesn't know what it feels like to be In Love. but that's ok, because he's still young, and this doesn't have to be forever, and maybe it's too soon to know anyway. he has fun with her. he likes being around her. and isn't that more important than knowing for sure whether or not he's in love with her?

and eventually they start having sex (obviously because, as we know, christopher exists), and, again, it's...ok? it's not the worst thing in the world, and he’s always heard that the first few times aren’t great, but he really just thinks it's overhyped and he'd rather, like, sit and listen to music with her and talk or something. but again, it's Something People Do, so he does it.

and then, you know, she's pregnant, and he panics, and they get married because he feels like they have to, and maybe it's actually almost a relief. because now he doesn't have to overthink whether or not he's in love with her, because that doesn’t matter anymore. they're getting married regardless. they're having a child regardless.

anyway, i know this isn't necessarily a groundbreaking interpretation of their relationship; i think this is probably how a lot of the fandom would interpret them (although i do tend to live in a little echo chamber, so i could be wrong). and i think this interpretation usually paves the way for gay eddie, sometimes demi/ace eddie. and that's totally valid!!! i love a gay eddie fic!! i am SO grateful for the abundance of ace eddie in the fandom!!

but lately i've been having a fun time looking at this and thinking about an arospec and/or aroace autistic eddie who falls into a relationship with shannon because it feels like an unspoken rule, a logical next step, something that others want for and expect from him. a tactile eddie who wants physical affection in ways that aren't socially acceptable for him to get anywhere else, and because he's not really sure what love in a romantic sense is supposed to feel like anyway, but he likes spending time with her, so why not? a quietly rebellious eddie who has sex because he is sorta curious, and his parents wouldn’t approve, and his friends are doing it, and people generally seem to enjoy it, and he tries it, and he's just like, “hm. whelp. that was that i guess.” an eddie who is not all that great at interoception?? who is not entirely sure how to interpret feelings in the first place??

season 2 | eddie & shannon 2.0

ok, so this is also well-established: we all know that when shannon comes back, eddie isn't thinking about what he wants. or, like, he is ostensibly, but he's thinking about what he wants for chris. he wants chris to have his mom around. he wants to "be a family" (god forgive him he knows not what he says, he knows not of the amatonormativity in which literally everything is steeped). yeah, he falls back into hooking up with her and then some sort of weird tentative relationship, but like: patterns of behavior. masking. once you Are a certain way with someone, it can be hard to Not be that way with them.

and i can't remember how much of this is canonically established or fanon embellishment, but there's the element of eddie feeling some sort of obligation (shannon is still technically his wife, maybe he owes it to her, to chris, to try again?) and searching for some form of absolution? (yeah, shannon is the one who left most recently and most permanently, but he left first, he made the first cracks, and maybe if he can make it work this time, he can forgive himself?)(<- i do not personally think this about him myself but it is something i can see eddie's gorgeous little traumatized season 2 brain coming up with.)

there’s also an argument to be made that maybe he thinks it would be easier for other reasons, too. like, yeah, it would be so much easier to have a household with two adults. it would be so much easier to have more childcare options for chris, less questions from places like chris's school, someone else to help with managing things like grocery shopping and making dinner and running errands and laundry (i swear to god i'm not listing these things because they're like "women's work" and shannon's a woman, it's just those are the things i fucking struggle with so they're at the top of my mind). they'd be a fucking dual income household. like. that shit would be LIFE CHANGING.

(are these things i've thought a lot about in relation to being autistic and aro…who can say…who can say.......)

seasons 4-5a | eddie & ana

i mean. i think this is also self-explanatory at this point, and eddieana has been dissected to shreds. i'll just say that pretty much every piece of evidence for gay eddie in this scenario could also apply to arospec (and aroace) eddie. (and it's not like he can’t be, like, gay ace, but we all know when fandom talks about gay eddie, it’s usually gay allo eddie. and i’m NOT AGAINST that (really, i love all queer eddie headcanons, they're SO SPECIAL), but. you know. it's like this post.)

ok, wait, no. i’ll say a little more. consider this:

maybe eddie was so weird around ana because the way he masked around her was, like, a little stiff and overly formal; partly because the first time he met her it was at a parent/teacher conference, and partly he was trying to perform the role of Good Date/Boyfriend, and then she ended up in his house and around his kid (outside of the classroom context) sooner than he originally planned, putting him in the awkward position of, "fuck, how do i be at-home-with-christopher-me and also trying-to-date-ana me?"

or maybe he just didn't know her well enough to have that basis of friendship he had with shannon (remember i'm extrapolating here, i don't think we know whether or not shannon and eddie were friends first, i think that's just something from the autistic!eddie series of all time that i've integrated into my eddie backstory fanon forever), so he just straight up didn't care about her the same way!! literally just in a “oh, i actually don’t know if i really enjoy this person’s company” way, and then in a “oh we’re not vibing as expected” way. only instead of peacing out once he realizes that, he fucking DOUBLES DOWN.

there's also, of course, the department store panic attack. feeling trapped. trying to convince himself that she is what he wants. that maybe if he stays long enough he'll change his mind. and i know this can all be attributed to MANY things; i'm just saying the entire eddieana arc was really relatable to me, local aroace autistic, who has fallen into Situations not entirely unlike this prior to realizing i am in fact aroace.

season 2-onward | eddie & buck

i don't have TOO much to say here, mostly because i know we all know the buddie moments inside and out, and there are so many beautiful posts that already exist about the depth of their relationship, and i don't really have anything new to contribute.

i guess i just wanted to say regardless of whether or not it's ever a canonized romance, it's SO clear to me that they care SOOOOO deeply for each other and in a way that transcends most people's framework for friendship. and i absolutely do not want to devalue platonic relationships or found family dynamics, because THOSE ARE SOOOO IMPORTANT, but like. okay. chim and hen? platonic soulmates. bobby and buck? father/son dynamic. chim and buck? brothers. hen and athena? besties.

buck and eddie? i look at them and i'm like WELL. it doesn't have to be romantic but it's also definitely not like, "oh yeah we're friends!" or even "we're brothers for life." like. they love each other, and in a different way than the rest of the firefam loves each other. and that's one of my favorite things about them as a ship; even without any elements of romantic or sexual attraction, they'd still like...fight like hell for each other. they're still home for each other. idk. can't think about it too hard otherwise it destroys me but in a good way.

ok that's all. <3

some miscellaneous things that make me giggle

(1) THE WAY EDDIE IS CANONICALLY SOOOOOOOOO DISINTERESTED IN DATING. COULD NOT CARE LESS. WOMEN FLIRTING WITH HIM ON A CALL? ANNOYANCE.* "I HAVE A KID THEY'RE NOT MY TYPE" ??????? SIR????????

*this is really valid, actually, aro or not; like, he's just trying to fucking do his job, please leave him alone!! that said, it also amuses me greatly.

not to fucking mention he's told ana (or maybe ana just inferred?) that there hasn't been anyone else since shannon. which is really interesting and could be interpreted in SO many ways (like...there haven't been any other women, but we all know buck's been there? not to mention the rest of the 118?), but to me, it also sounds like NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN SEEKING PEOPLE OUT AT ALL, regardless of gender. <333

(2) he never so much as LOOKS at maddie. granted, she’s almost immediately paired up with chim, and she's buck's sister but?? jennifer love hewitt is GORGEOUS. i am Looking i am Looking so hard and with no particular motive other than to admire because, you know, ace. but i'm just saying.

(3) he's soooooo embarrassed and constantly trying to downplay his relationship with ana in front of other people. like, the man does NOT WANT HER in the firehouse, he does NOT WANT HER around the 118. RELATABLE!! JUST SAYING!!

people start giving him a hard time about going to the christening because that means "it's getting serious" and he shuts that shit down immediately. "it's not that serious." PLEASE. PLEASE.

(that was fucking hilarious to me by the way because like. straight up denial. that IS serious, eddie, i'm sorry, but you are going to CHURCH with that LATINA AND HER ENTIRE FAMILY AND THEN TO A PARTY AFTERWARDS PROBABLY.)

in conclusion...

i guess i just feel really soft about the idea of characters who did things because they were doing what they thought they "should" do, and/or they didn't realize there were other options, and/or they didn't realize what they were feeling wasn't what other people feel. and i also feel really soft about people having ace and/or aro realizations, especially after struggling through a few relationships and feeling shitty and confused. AND i also feel really soft about eddie diaz.

💚💚💚💚💚

[writingbaddie]

Weirdly specific and unrelated asks to know someone well:

🌸 1. chipotle order?

🌸 2. thoughts on veganism?

🌸 3. a specific color that gives you the ick?

🌸 4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

🌸 5. favorite form of potato?

🌸 6. do you use a watch?

🌸 7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

🌸 8. do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home?

🌸 9. do you have a skincare routine (and how

many steps is it)?

🌸 10. on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

🌸 11. anything from your childhood you've held on to?

🌸 12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%?

🌸 13. first thing you're doing in the purge?

🌸 14. do you think you're dehydrated?

🌸 15. rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning

🌸 16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

🌸 17. an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

🌸 18. your boba/tea order?

🌸 19. the veggie you dislike the most?

🌸 20. favorite disney princess movie?

🌸 21. a number that weirds you out?

🌸 22. do you have an emotional support water bottle?

🌸 23. do you wear jewelry?

🌸 24. which do you find yourself using, american or british english?

🌸 25. would you say you have good taste in music?

🌸 26. how's your spice tolerance?

🌸 27. what's your favorite or go-to outfit?

🌸 28. last meal on earth?

🌸 29. preferred pasta noodle?

🌸 30. ask me anything!

The reblog made me do this- xD, anyway, I brought you some tea (if you don't like tea then pretend it's coffee, and if you don't like coffee either then...idk. It could be juice maybe?), since I know that's gonna take a while to answer! 🌼

+ Add tags to help people find your post

Why THANK YOU for le tea. I happen to be an avid tea drinker (Black tea, 5 sugars and French vanilla creamer) Anywho, onto these asks: 1. Steak and cheese quesadilla with chips and queso blanco.

2. I think it's a nice lifestyle, but personally not for me. I'm a meat eater 100%.

3. Not many colors, but I suppose neon blue. Especially on neon signs. It's so bright but dark it assaults my eyeballs.

4. Hm...possibly ghosts and demons. Spirits in general.

5. Potato chips!

6. Yes, it's a fitness watch too! It helps track my calories, heart rate, and steps.

7. Octopi/squids! Squishy, sloshy, tentacle bois!

8. Sometimes, other times I'll flop on my bed in my work clothes.

9. I do! (Though I am shit at being consistent with it) It is 3-4 steps.

10. Apple, though I've never been on a plane that offers orange juice just yet.

11. For your sake, I'll give the lighthearted answer. I have a bunch of plushies from my childhood, including a stuffed beanie baby lamb named Lamby, who I used to say goodnight to as a kid before going to bed.

12. Not really, tbh. I do like Urea Cream. it helped my KP and ashiness.

13. Locking my house the fuck down and arming myself. Sorry it ain't as fun as raiding 7/11, but I'm a black woman. We ain't scurrying the streets with the crazies.

14. Considering how little water I unfortunately consume, along with my high-mobility job and the recent hot, sunny weather, most likely.

15. Based purely on length of time, I'll say: Drowning, Freezing, Burning.

16. I prefer other flavors, but it's one of my favorites!

17. Overapologize for everything, even things that aren't my fault (working on this in counseling)

18. Brown sugar boba milk tea (I don't regularly order boba, so I don't know if this is proper boba terminology)

19. Honestly, I'm not a veggie girl in general, but I hate zucchini. I've despised it ever since I tried it.

20. Princess and the Frog, all the fuckin' way.

21. Those super-high numbers like Googol and Googolplex. Just the magnitude of them is so interesting but existentially terrifying at the same time.

22. Considering how little I drink water, no.

23. I used to, but I'm a tad too lazy to accessorize now.

24. American, mainly because I was raised by a New Yorker and a Jamaican New Yorker.

25. Good and eclectic taste, yes.

26. For a Jamaican, not really. More than your average white Midwesterner, but not enough for my ancestors.

27. Lol, scrubs. No, like, nursing scrubs. I work in a daycare, I'm sorry. I would say my favorite outfit is this black dress with white embroidery. I call it my prairie dress because it's so pretty and modest, so I don't feel self conscious.

28. Bacon cheeseburger with fries and fried chicken on the side with red velvet cake as dessert and Sprite for my drink.

29. Fettuccine or shells.

30. Which word would you use if you could only use one for the rest of your life?

[morroodle]

Towards the end of day 4 of top surgery recovery and figured I'd share how it's going. Idk if this can help anyone else but its at least going to help me. Prepare for out of order chaos

The pain isn't too bad! Like yea it hurts but I got used to it and I can take pain meds to help

Getting out of bed is a pain in the ass though. Going from laying down to sitting up is HARD (it's definitely not because I have no abs)

Speaking of pain: the drains. They don't hurt by themselves but when I shift wrong and they tug? Not fun. Not sure how to explain it but pinching isn't inaccurate

Drain fluid. Does not smell good. It's not a very strong smell and you get used to it pretty fast but it's still not fun

I also. Do not smell good. God I can't wait to shower

My mom spilled the drain fluid on me. Twice. Ew.

It's fuckn ITCHY. Always just below where I can reach through the bandages. I am going to kill someone.

Other itches are annoying too. They may not be covered by bandages but with such limited mobility it's annoying. I got a back scratcher but those don't help much when you can barely move your arms

I've probably been moving more than I'm supposed to

Love it when I move wrong and suddenly there's pain and a very suspicious warm feeling and I can't check to see what's wrong because of the bandages

Bendy straw my beloved <333 the $20 ninjago cup I got from legoland is finally making itself worth it

The first day I was incredibly nauseous. I could barely sit up for a few minutes, much less stand. Made eating dinner... not easy.

Day 2 I was feeling great! Even touched some grass!

Day 3 morning: nearly threw up when changing my shirt. I didn't but oh god it was not fun. I've never been nauseous like that before, I was hot inside but my skin was cold and my mom said the color very literally drained from my face. Made me stuck in a chair for like 20 minutes until I could stomach going back to bed.

I'm fine now (probably)

I've been enjoying being taken care of. I'm lucky enough to have a very good support system and I appreciate it. I also appreciate always getting my pic of food >:D

God I want a hug. I'm gonna get so squished once I'm healed and I fully accept my fate

Mentioning again my hatred for the drains. I was very scared of them going into this, I didn't like the idea of having tubes both in and out of my body. I don't really care about that now, I don't see it and I've gotten used to it, but god they are so annoying

I'm not nearly as tired as I was expecting! Sure I'm a bit sleeper than normal but it's really not that bad.

I'm bored

I wanna draw ;-; I havent had motivation or ideas for weeks but the moment it becomes inconvenient? Release the floodgates!

I haven't actually noticed the lack of boobs much yet. Maybe it's because they're still bandaged and I can't see or maybe it's because I live in my mastectomy pillow but I haven't really had a rush of emotions yet

It's kinda weird. I was expecting to feel so much but everything so far just feels so... normal? It's not normal but I've gotten used to it. Its like I'm waiting for my emotions to catch up

That being said there is one thing I've noticed and definitely felt things about. I had a pretty big chest and there used to be quite a dip between them and now there's just... nothing. It's flat. I'm sure this is just a fraction of what I'll feel when I get the bandages off for the first time but this tiny bit that I can see and feel right now is... wow. It's weird. God I can't wait for the rest of it

That's all I can think of for now, I'll keep yall updated on how things go from here and hopefully this can help someone! I know most of this has been complaining but I am not trying to discourage anyone from this, I've just only experienced the bad parts so far. I'm sure I'll make a similar post listing all the positives once I get there but for now things aren't very fun

[redrocketpanda]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

Thanks @spacejammie-eimmajecaps fren for the tag :3

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

I currently have 12! 11 from this year, and 1 published in 2014

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

78, 238! (75, 322 from this year)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for Haikyuu, My Hero Academia and Bluelock, but have also published for BG3 + Buddy Daddies. And I have some JJK in the wips

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

Just the Way You Like It (kngr, bllk): 150 Miri's First Swimming Lesson (buddy daddies): 133 Cater to You (kngr, bllk): 116 Interlude: The Senses of You (kazurei, buddy daddies): 113 Strategies for Play (bokuakakuroiwa, haikyuu): 85

I am still a baby writer but I hold all of my little kudos to my heart very fondly

5. Do you respond to comments?

Most of the time I will respond, yes!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oooh... I don't know that I write angsty endings. Usually it's angst all the way till the end. Maybe Interlude: The Senses of You as although there's comfort at the end there's also lots of crying? I think overall it's my most angsty fic as well

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm... most of them have happy endings so idk... maybe Strategies for Play bc Kuroo's "masterplan" worked and it ends post great sex with everyone cuddling in bed being super cute?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, not ever received hate on my fics but I have received hate about my fics on here (the Astarion one)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Most of what I write tends to be smut lmao. And I guess all kinds but usually with some kind of bdsm/kink dynamics to them? 4 of my published fics are smut (cater to you, he was made to be broken, strategies for play, and the miya atsumu humilation show), and an additional 1 has some sexual content in it (just watch me). My more "risque" content is currently languishing in my wips waiting to be finished (yeah i'm looking at you inumaki/itadori/sukuna fic)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes, but none of them have been published yet LMAO. I can't tell you about one of them that'll be published soon for the They Were Roommates big bang, but I did/do have a bluelock/D&D cross over that's probably the "craziest" one (and also SO much fun to plan). Deep in my wips I also have a BokuAka Greek Mythology AU and sketches for a Haikyuu/Dirty Dancing AU

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Hope not!

12. There was no question 12 so I'll make one up myself: What's the longest you've ever spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

LMAO. I love this because who made this one up? idk! If we're going by published fics then The Miya Atsumu Humiliation Show took me from May to October 2023 (5 months), and I've been working on my TWRRMs bang fic since May (currently 6 months). I've also been planning/writing Fire On the Horizon since Jan 2023!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've co-created a fic, as in coming up with the idea with another person, and I've also co-created in the sense of working with beta readers for bang fics. I've not co-written anything yet though, but I would love to!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Nooo... what a cruel question. I'll give you my top 5 bc I simply cannot choose: krbk (kirishima/bakugou), stsg (gojo/geto), skts (sakusa/atsumu), bkak (bokuto/akaashi), bokuroo (bokuto/kuroo)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

gods. So many of them tbh... I might one day muster the will to finish he was made to be broken. I want to finish the kunichi (kunigami/raichi) one but idk if I will ever get round to it. And the bllk/D&D one would take a lot of work, but maybe if/when I get back into bllk that'd help

16. What are your writing strengths?

I always struggle with this question bc I have really bad writing insecurities but recently I've been able to conclude that I think I'm reasonably good at comedic writing (people tend to find my fics quite funny), emotive writing (I make people cry/feel Emotions, even if said people don't usually when reading fics), and descriptive writing (I get lots of compliments that people can visualise exactly what I've described)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

idk if it's a "true" weakness but I'm always paranoid that my dialogue is weak as balls. I also don't have much experience with writing long fic, and thus also character + plot development, but this is something I wanna work on. Oh, the biggest one is probs confidence in myself though!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it sounds like a cool idea if it works within the context!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hahaha so technically I think the first fandom I ever wrote for was Spyro the Dragon when I was like... 6 or 7. On Ao3 though it was Harry Potter in 2014. When I returned to writing in 2022, the first one was My Hero Academia

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Oooooooooh. I think my favourite is Strategies for Play. I adored writing it and it was the easiest one I've ever written. Plus writing Bokuto/Akaashi/Kuroo/Iwaizumi dynamics was *chefs kiss*. Otherwise, the [redacted] TWRMMs bang fic I'm writing at the moment is one I've had lots of fun with and am excited to share (very, very soon!) Just Watch Me is also one of my favourites bc krbk my beloveds and it's the one that brought me back to fic writing so its v dear to my heart Tagging some of my fave writery friends as I'd love to read their answers, but join in too if ya want!: @mari-writes, @mooifyourecows, @axreliono, @ciunasboinin, @howlsmovinglibrary

[ayakamiyuiii]

May I ask for dom xiao?

Like the reader runs away and she accidentally calls his name- IK ITS DUMB BUT PELASE LIKE REALLY

What.....! Omd laying in bed at 11 am nd thought of something!!

It's been awhile since you've seen Xiao, you have heard some rumours about the Yaksha helping the (in)famous blonde traveller, it was odd you thought, it isn't in Xiaos nature to really travel along with others unless he feels safe with them. It didn't help much that you haven't even met the traveller but now you hear your boyfriend is.. basically ditching you and your plans for her? AND would let her call out his name if she ever needed him? Well that was the first few punches to your gut, you understand Xiao doesn't think this as much, he's a Yaksha, Mortal feelings don't.. occur to him often. And him being him he can't read social cues, or take signs or hints. He doesn't know what he's doing could temporarily hurt you, and well you'll let it slide, maybe your overlooking it.. your totally overlooking it, right?

Of course he stills comes to the inn and of course you do see him, bug everytime it feels like you see him less and less, your time with each other shortens, and before you knew it he kind of stopped showing up to things you'd planned out. You were upset, honestly your heart was crushed, you knew maybe the reasoning was stupid, and you knew you should let it go and stop feeling so jealous, there's nothing more to it then them helping each other out. You wanted to talk to him about it, not sure how to bring it up. He's always stern, and doesn't often give long enough answers, always short and straight to the point. Maybe.. you'll just wait it out for now?

It's been a bit over a few months, his absence has seriously taken a toll on you. You find yourself wondering.. strange things, is he maybe happier travelling with her? You think about the traveller, how pretty she must look, how many men she's had swinging their heads abruptly to get a glimpse of her. It became horrible, you've started seeing so less of him. you cry, but you know better then to call out his name for your selfish desires. He has his own duties to fufill, he can't be by your side all the time. You felt lost, so incredibly lost it was genuinely mind maddening. Maybe, maybe you should bring it up, maybe you'll let your selfish desires rise, let them take control for awhile.

You waited a few nights, hoping Xiao would make a stop to the inn, you'd think he'd know better to at least let you know where he's going. It's been about 4 night with no sign of him, your tired and this time you can't ignore the heavy pang of hurt in your chest, you waited another night, praying to the archons above he'll make a stop, but it wasn't too any use, so you thought. You decided it was late enough you needed rest, it was difficult staying up so late, you were turning your back when you heard swift movements, turning back and seeing Xiao. You looked at him, his face slightly tinted red, with.. tofu in hand, meekly staring you called out to him, his name sounding more like a question. Unsure if he heard you or not you continue looking at him, noticing his ears perking to your voice. "y/n ? Why are you up. It's late." He questions, though his question sounding more like a statement. Taken aback by what you'd just seen you take a moment to compose yourself. " Xiao, can i please talk to you ? I've been waiting for you to come back for awhile, and- i- I just wanted to talk to you before you go... again"

Hi pookie um idk if this is anything similar to wut u want but Like I'll continue it later I AM TIRED AF

[kaesficrecarchive]

can you do more markhyuck recs?

with one sided pining if possible? 🥹🙏

hiii!

i've just put 10 markhyuck fics in my queue and put my queue on 2/day, so prepare to be fed the next 5 days!

unfortunately none of them seemed to be one sided pining so! i've gone on a little hunt in the bookmarks of some trusted authors i follow. here's what i found:

(disclaimer: i haven't read any of these so idk if they're actually one-sided pining or if they're good!)

to know you is to love you by tooshy (1/1 | 11,650 | T)

If you asked Mark where it started, he'd say on that one train ride to Busan, or maybe the summer before college. But you're not asking Mark, because he doesn’t know the half of it and you want the full story. So, you're asking Donghyuck, and he'll tell you where it starts. He's nice like that.

(or, Mark never believes Donghyuck when he tells him he's been in love with him from the moment he learned how to say his name, but—well. He has.)

(tags: not actually unrequited love + pining)

I'm the secret that you hide, I'll be listening until you decide by helicases (1/1| 4,125 | T)

It's habit, looking for Mark, even when Donghyuck knows he's not nearby.

(tags: pining + angst)

don’t get lost in heaven by mayhems (6/6 | 30,524 | T)

Mark Lee is a problem. Donghyuck needs to figure out how to get rid of him.

(tags: pining + it's all about the yearning)

if you are the shores, i am the waves by DREAMWRLD (1/1 | 17,766 | T)

Donghyuck wants to go home. He wants to throw himself in bed like a dramatic teenager, scream into his pillow, and furiously write all of his overflowing feelings into the pages of his journal. He wants to embrace his hurt, to really feel it for all that it’s worth so maybe it will leave him alone.

Donghyuck wants Mark, but not like this.

(tags: pining + crushes + yearning !!!)

it takes two by tooshy (1/1 | 28,361 | T)

What seems to do the trick most times is closing his eyes and counting down from seven, a combination of all his favorite things: it's his lucky number, he gets to press pause on reason and logic, and when he opens them he’s always welcomed with Donghyuck’s face. Three, two, one, eyes open, and—there’s silk pajamas, crossed arms leaning into the rolled down window of his car and disinterest coming off every pore of a face that isn't Donghyuck’s, one that greets him with, "He told me to tell you he's not getting in a car with you." What’s always minus one?

(or, Donghyuck is Mark’s plus one to his sister’s wedding, and it all seems to be going as planned until it doesn't.)

(tags: pining & yearning)

reciprocity by markohmark (predebut) (4/4 | 32,000 | T)

"What changed?" Donghyuck asks softly. His thumb rubs the back of Mark's hand gently.

Donghyuck's close. Too close. The washing machine stops, indicating the end of the wash cycle. The two of them are surrounded by an eerie silence. It rings in Mark's ears.

"I grew up," Mark replies. He holds Donghyuck's gaze, watching as Donghyuck leans in. His heart rattles in his chest; he's past the speed of hummingbirds now. His hyperactive, buzzing, washing-machine heart.

(tags: pining)

Of All The Bad Ideas by slimequeen (1/1 | 10,334 | T)

Donghyuck has been pining after Mark Lee since the first year of high school, and now they’re four years deep and Donghyuck’s feelings are still hurtling towards imminent heartbreak. He's always been an impulsive decision maker, but he should have thought a bit harder on this one.

(tags: pining)

Sunsoaked by spicyboyfriend (1/1 | 44,540 | T)

Delicate. The word that Mark was looking for, to describe Donghyuck’s expression. It was delicate.

And it was all he had been able to think about.

He was all Mark had been able to think about.

(tags: pining + crushes)

foolish choreography (all the steps of love) by typography (1/1 | 18,758 | T)

The Dispatch pictures had hit the internet on an unremarkable Wednesday, but Donghyuck lost his mind on an equally unremarkable Sunday morning.

or: Mark’s secret relationship gets revealed in Dispatch’s latest post. Donghyuck hates it more than he expected.

(tags: pining)

Pluto by rainingover (1/1 | 10,065 | T)

Donghyuck pushes the CD he's picked into the slot just under the radio dials and turns the volume up. “I made this mix last summer,” he says. “Burnt it onto two CDs. Do you remember? I gave one to you.”

“I remember,” Mark says. His copy is protected, neatly, in a case under his bed. “Why is one of them here? Is it yours?”

Donghyuck nods. “Special edition, one of only two ever made.”

(tags: pining + best friends)

(bonus: there are quite a few fics in supersoulmates' bookmarks)

i hope you found at least one fic to your liking in this list!

also if anyone else has a rec, feel free to leave a link in the comments or to reblog with a link or whatever <3

[wraenata]

Hello again!

I did this lil silly survey a long while ago :)

I wanted to ask if you would mind to answer a few of my questions again :3

If not, that's totally fine! No pressure!

How many hours do you sleep per night?

How many hours are enough to get through the day and how many are a lot for your standard?

Is caffein (in any form) part of your morning routine or your 'last resort'?

How do you feel over the day before and after consuming caffein (if you consume any)?

For example: sluggish, foggy, awake, exhausted, grumpy, just tired, etc.

Thank you a lot for (maybe) participating!

If you want, I can add you when I post the results, but I can also leave you out :)

Hi Kiki! Sorry to answer this late again.

1. I am unable to sleep more than 5 hours at a time, so depending on when I go to bed, I might get less than that. I have trouble falling back asleep if it's too close to when I need to get up for work, which is 5 am. So I often supplement my sleep with naps. Which I will nap for 2 to 4 hours. It's gotten pretty bad. I set alarms but I do not remember turning them off oof. Basically I can be up for about 3 hours before I want to rest again. My weekends are very sleepy.

2. I could get 8 hours of sleep (nights plus nap combined) or 12 hours and still feel exhausted the next day. I can survive on 4 hours of sleep but it won't be pretty. Lately I've been sleeping during my lunch hour. I definitely feel like I'm declining every day haha. Doctors appointment is soon tho!

3. I only recently started drinking caffeinated tea (one cup) to try and stay awake when I get home from work or on the weekend. Idk how much it helps. I'll still fall asleep. I've never had coffee before. I don't think the tea really makes me feel anything to be honest. Not grumpy or foggy or anything. Just maybe slightly more awake. I should probably go make some rn actually.

I hope that answers your questions! I hope that my doctors appointment will help change these answers to be honest! If you haven't posted your results yet you can tag me go ahead!

Hope youre doing well!

[zee-stars]

Eddie Munson Headcanons

Author notes: I have fallen in love with this man. I just started to watch stranger things recently and I'm only on episode 6 of season 1 so this probably wont be accurate. Theres no plot I just really wanted to write something for him. (My internet is back. I can post again! Now here's this)

Warnings: mentions of drugs, swearing.

So you and Eddie are the same age okay. So during season 4 it's your 2nd year out of high school. (Ur both 20)

You and Eddie met Freshman year but didn't start hanging out until Junior year and didn't start going out until the summer after you graduated.

Eddie thought that when you graduated you were going to leave him and go off and live your successful live.

But you're just as much of a mess as he is. Only you are able to hide it better.

So instead of heading off to college, you move in with Eddie. In his trailer.

By the time he starts school again in that fall, you guys are dating.

I mean, it be hard to hide feeling for each other. Cause you guys lived in a kinda small trailer. You showered in his shower. He would sleep on the couch cause he didn't want to make you uncomfortable and sleep in the same bed as you. And no, he wasn't letting you sleep on the couch.

Eventually he started to wake up with pain everywhere and you stepped in.

"Dude just let me sleep on the couch!"

"No! I'm fine!"

"Come on, you were just whining about having neck pain. You can't even move your head without your neck hurting!"

"Well what if you start to get neck pain?"

"I'll be fine."

"No cause then you'll be whining sweetheart. I know you."

"Fine, we can just share the bed."

"What? You okay with that?"

"As long as you aren't a bed hog."

He was. Especially after you started dating. He would cling to you and if you moved an inch he would move with you.

Okay a new subject to talk about, drugs.

You never really did drugs. Only occasionally would you take a hit or eat an edible.

The first time you did drugs around him was the first time you came over to his trailer.

He had just finished making a batch of weed brownies with 30 milligrams in each. (I think that's a lot. Idk I don't do that kinda stuff and google is no help) You showed up at his house.

"Y/n. I forgot you were showing up!" He greeted at the door. He let you in and left to clean up in his room.

You wondered into the kitchen, just kinda checking the place out. You spotted some brownies on the counter. There were a lot of them and they were bite size. He wouldn't notice if you snagged one would he?

You popped one in your mouth right before he walked in.

"Wow Eddie, I didn't know you were a baker." You said after you swallowed the brownie.

"Y/n, did you eat one of these brownies?"

"Maybe.."

"Y/n, those are weed brownies. How many did you eat?"

"Only one. How much was in it?"

"Ah, you'll be fine. Just 30 milligrams. You've done around that before huh?"

"I've done 5. Twice."

"Okay, maybe we should sit down for a bit."

Within the next 15 minutes it hit you. Hard.

"Okay, yeah I'm feeling it now."

"How's it feel?"

"Strange. I feel a bit dizzy."

"I'll grab you a water."

When he came back to the room, you were giggling about some bullshit.

"What's so funny, sweetheart?"

"I don't know." You managed between a few laughs.

"Oh I see, you're one of those giggly high type of people. Don't worry. I get like that sometimes."

"I am never coming back here ever again."

A less you learned that day was to never eat random things in his house, especially sweets, before checking with Eddie.

So back to living with him. One word: Hell.

Okay so when he got his house, he planned on only having one person live there. Himself. Once you moved in you both quickly learned it was only made for one person.

Although it was small you both figured out how to make it work.

Sometimes, when you guys were dating, Eddie would remove a chair from eating area, (a table and two chairs in the kitchen) and set it outside. Because it was too much space he said. It was really cause he wanted you to sit on his lap while eating. (You just sat on couch or floor) if you sat on the floor he would move to sit next to you and then you would steal his seat.

Okay DND. Whether you knew how to play or didn't, or if you liked it or not, Eddie would talk to you about it non stop. If you knew how to play he would play with you. If you didn't know how to play but like it, he would teach you.

One day he came home and told you he found a group of Freshmen to play DND with him, you were super happy for him.

"It's about time you made some more friends!"

Every friday night he would go play with them and you would visit friends.

You often came home before him and would clean up or shower. When he came home he would either be super tired or filled with energy. It all depends on how the campaigns went. He would also always tell you how everything went before he would even think about falling asleep.

One day Eddie comes home from school and ask if you want to come to his DND campaign just to watch and you agree.

When you guys get there he starts to set up. He lets you sit in his "throne"

"You should feel lucky sweetheart. Every soul wishes they were lucky enough to sit there."

"Really?"

"Yes, I fear, not everyone is able to figure out how to gain the luck."

"Oh, and how does one manage to get the luck?"

"It's not entirely luck. More so... love..."

Warning: he's a bit dramatic. A lot.

He leaves to go find some pencils saying he'll be right back. You sit back and relax in his chair. The sound of people chatting is heard from the hallway and you get nervous. Its not Eddie which means it's probably his friends. You've never met them before and are nervous to meet them without Eddie by your side.

"Who are you?" Someone asks you. (Okay this probably won't be great cause I haven't watched season 4 yet so sorry for any incorrect parts)

"Umm, my names Y/n."

"What are you doing in Eddie's throne?"

"He said I could sit here." You sit back and cross your leg over the other, remembering the words Eddie said about his throne.

"Eddie? Why would he let you sit there?"

"Cause shes my girlfriend, Dipshits."

"Wait you weren't actually making that up?!"

After spending 10-20 minutes answering questions that were mostly them asking "why him?" They finally started the campaign.

Eddie moved you to sit on his lap before starting and always kept a hand on you unless he needed both for whatever reason. He kept sneaking glances at you the whole time, smiling as he did.

After it was over they had to go home and you were Eddie were starting to clean up.

"Well that was fun."

"Yeah it was. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sorry if they were annoying with there questions. They didn't believe me when I said I was seeing someone."

"Of course. Who would?" He slapped your arm softly but pulled you closer to him.

After you guys went home you cuddled and feel asleep to soft music playing in the background.

One final thing I want to talk about is school.

Of course Eddie had a hunch that he was going to get held back the first time. But the second time he was beyond annoyed.

"I'm gonna be stuck at this fucking hell hole with the same annoying ass people again! They're keeping me away from my girl! For 7 hours!"

You chuckled at him and pet his hair.

"Maybe this year you could try harder. I could even help you more. It's not like it could have changed that much."

"Sorry I don't want to come home from school and do more school. Also that's not the way I want to spend my time with you."

After a lot of convincing you did manage to help him study for a few test.

Also you know that Eddie Carrie's around his lunchbox full of drugs all the time at school. Well one time you caught him.

"Eddie would you like to explain why you're lunchbox is full of drugs?"

"No actually."

"I'm taking some out."

"Why?"

"Cause you need actual food in here! Also you can't have drugs at school. You're lucky I'm not taking them all out."

After that you started to pack him lunches. Sandwiches usually. Sometimes you would pack him fruit or crackers. Although he complained about it, you noticed the food was always gone when he came home.

"Eddie, since when did you start packing lunch?" Mike asked him.

"My girlfriend found drugs in my lunchbox and now packs me lunch."

"Really? That's something a mother would do."

"It taste good tho."

Sorry this was so long. This man has not left my head for the past week. I'll probably write more sooner or later.

[yume-x-hanabi]

4, 6, 12, 19 please tell us about Minah, 27, 30, 37, 49, 61 and 65 for Concubinage, and 74

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

ig it depends on how obsessed my brain is with the random plot bunnies hopping around in my head? When I start thinking up narration sentences, that's when I know a particular idea wants to be written. Doesn't mean I always do it, though (in an ideal world with infinite free time, maybe...)

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

I haven't written in so long I don't even remember 😭

Looking at one of my latest wips, probably this one because it's incomplete lmao:

The room was as dingy as the rest of the inn and smelled vaguely of stale tobacco, but at least the bed was soft and the sheets were clean. He collapsed on the bed with a sigh of relief, head swimming from all the

(wtf was I trying to say? it's a mystery 🤷‍♀️)

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Usually not, and then it comes to bite me in the ass when it's ten months since I plotted the idea and I don't remember what I was planning to do 😅

There's one fic that's an exception cuz it's a fusion AU type of thing so I'm planning carefully how it follows (or not) the original's plot. Well, idk if I'll actually write the fic actually, maybe in this case the outline will be all there is, as a fun exercise for myself XD

19. Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I love creating OCs, but like, they need a purpose. An OC just for the sake of having an OC or self-insert isn't my kind of thing (no shade to those who do, I'm just not wired that way), but depending on the story I might need to flesh out a supporting cast. And I love it when they slowly take life and develop.

Minah was a really fun case because she was supposed to be a kind of "throwaway" role, only there for a scene or two. She wasn't even planned like she turned out to be (I originally imagined her younger, for example). But then she... just happened lol. Within a few lines of her dialogue I was in love with her and she was just so fun to write, in a way she wormed her way into a bigger role than intended and I'm really glad she did because it works out so well in so many ways. Funny how things go sometimes 😂

honestly my OCs often end up surprising me in one way or another haha. rare are those who stick to the plan

(rest under cut cuz it's getting long)

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Battle scenes, apparently 8)

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I actually... don't edit that much 😅

ig in a way I edit in my head before I write? I've always been like that tbh, even at school--what I write down (whether fic, essay, translation...) is often very close to the final version. Of course I go over it a couple times once I'm done and tweak a few things here and there, but it's usually minor stuff. Sometimes I end up redoing entire scenes/chapters because I feel something's not working, but it's rather rare when it happens.

37. What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

Probably Fractured Lives? There's a reason it's only gotten five updates in nine years so far. I have to be in a very specific mood to write it, which doesn't happen often. A pity, cuz I liked the concept...

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

I'd say The Best Laid Plans. It's got my particular brand of humor, and also some kickass battle scenes :p

Another one would be Strong Currents, cuz worldbuilding (plus getting Gaius and Wingul to have emotional talks lolol)

61. In Concubinage, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Probably Lin and Arst's first kiss. It's such a significant moment<3

65. If you wrote a sequel to Concubinage, what would happen in it?

I am actually vaguely planning a sequel if I can finish it. Basically it'd be the events/plot of the game, but with all the changes in settings brought about by the events of Concubinage. I'll have to think carefully about what will change, what will stay the same, and what will be a slightly different spin on things that'll still happen. I think the main difficulty will be to juggle Milla's journey with Gaius&Wingul being the main characters without them overtaking the plot. And also how close or different it should be to canon...

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

Among my least kudosed ones, I'd say Chaos in the Ballroom (my Tales Big Bang fic). I know it's a bit different from my usual stuff, and relies heavily on knowledge about Agria's side story, but I put a lot of thought in that one.

[reserved-system]

WOAH!! HEY GUYS I JUST READ YALLS JON IN HERMITCRAFT FIC AND LIKE !!!!!! WOAHEOAHWOAH!!!! VERY COOL!!!!

i havent even listened to magnus archives yet [its literally the next podcast im planning to listen to dw] but i am obsessed with this fic. its actually so cute despite the poor guy being in distress most of the time.

i will now theorise and talk about ur fic in ur ask box if thats ok sjdbhdhdhhedjbdjdb

🤔🤔 i wonder why jon was put for a day instead of respawning immidiately? maybe the server was struggling to connect him for the first time or somethin? or xisuma was tryin to block him or somethin? idk, itd be funny if it was The Universe forcing him to get some sleep for once. actually yea i hope thats it.

itll be very funny [or angsty depending on how yall spin it] to see jon realise that death is a consequence-less action in this world, either he watches someone die or dies himself. bros in shock like,,,, my brother in christ i just witness a death 😱😨😱☹️😟😱, but then the person rematerialises in a nearby bed like,,, a second later like,,,, oopsie daisies 😅😅 just got pranked and exploded along side my house 😝😝 mustve been that pesky bird 🤭🤭🤭 I'll be back, just have to collect my stuff 😮‍💨😮‍💨 and jons sitting there like (,,#ﾟДﾟ)

BAHAHAHA if jon was shocked at the ears and tail on ren then i cannot wait to see his reaction to doc adfsfjakggkagkkgaakgagakg

*clapping!!* Cub!! my favourite basement dweller!!

Omg i didnt even Think of how people casually talking about mining for supplies would sound!! very thoughtful on yalls part :D

Woooo!!! map mechanics!!!!

also!!! cub saying that jon would make it to Tangos by sun set IF he doesnt get lost feels like,,,,, foreshadowing,,,, where jon gets lost and has to deal with zombies and skeletons and spiders™️ 👀👀👀 bro will not survive the night sjdbjdbdhdhd

lmao no pressure to answer this but just know that i very much enjoyed the reading !!

WAAAHHHH JBSDJGBJDG Hi! I'm sorry, we were not expecting to wake up to anything this morning. We are extremely flattered!! We're going to try to talk/answer any of your questions or theories without spoiling anything we have planned but firstly! You should definitely listen to The Magnus Archives it's such a good podcast. You don't have to worry about our fic containing spoilers for any of the events in the podcast (to my knowledge, at least. Anyone is free to correct me).

____ 1) Our main reason for having him wait a day before respawning was so THIS MAN COULD SLEEP. This man hasn't had a proper 8 hours of sleep in weeks at this point and needed the rest. The Universe spoke and said he needs to sleep.

2) We're actually going to start to explore people dying in the next chapter and we are VERY very exciting to start on that. What I think will be funny even going forward is seeing how terrified Jon is of seeing people die verse how laid back the hermits are about it. Cause realistically this is what, their ninth season so I'd say they're pretty desensitized to it.

3) I think about his reaction to Doc a lot cuz here comes this shirtless creeper goat cyborg with crocs. IT'S JUST TOO PERFECT. We haven't pin pointed when we're going to introduce the two but when we do it's going to be so much fun to write.

4) Cub <3 <3 <3 So far Cub has been our favorite hermit to write cuz he's just so chill. He could say the most out there sentence and you'll be looking at him and he's just got a blank expression. You'll look at him like did you not just hear what came out of your mouth and he'll look like he's said nothing wrong. Love his guy

5) It's just a few things we think about the difference between hermits and non hermits. For hermits mining for resources is an (at least) a once a week things. Non hermits haven't needed to mine for resources by hand since what, since heavy machinery was introduced on the scene. So it's not something they think about unless their job is to mine for those resources / work those heavy machines.

6) I wouldn't say it's foreshadowing but mainly a light jab at Jon cuz maybe he looks like the kind of guy who you'd give him simply directions and he still gets lost.

(We are those people. Driving downtown is confusing even with a gps)

But yes, maybe Jon does have an encounter with some mobs later on. Who's to say? Hehe.

Anyways, I'm super glad that you've been enjoying our fic so far! Super exciting to get back to writing it more often now that we have a lot more free time.

Hope you have a good rest of your day/evening <3

-Xavier

[dumblildog]

Why I don't sell content :3

"Do you do OF?"

"No."

"You should."

This conversation keeps happening with people. I used to sell content before OF was a thing. I'd definitely do it again if I looked like that still. I have so many fucking scars now I'm just.. idk plus I'm as pale as bb vampire so it's just a gross contrast on my skin. I have this overwhelming amount of self hate especially about how I look. If my last relationship wasn't a sexless lonely cage of self doubt and hate I probably wouldn't be sooo hateful but like having someone look at you dead face and say "I'm as attracted to you as I can be" it's like huh.. what's the point.. when someone doesn't want you for so long for years.. but also won't let you go when you beg for it you just let go of yourself in so many different ways. I lost all grips of myself and now I just dont recognize who or what I am. I was already so lost before that relationship just a lil drug addict with no money & horrible self destructive habits. I'm so surprised I didn't die that spring with my daily habits. For so long I survived off nothing but substances, self harm, and sex. I was having so many adventures and got second hand affection from the attention my actions brought me but I still was just so so lonely. I gripped onto the first person who wanted something more than my body my bed or my connections. I didn't see what he was using me for before it was too late. I stopped doing drugs anything anyone would offer, drinking anything I'd get my hands on, stopped smoking anything and everything I could light. Gross mixed bowls and cigarettes turned to nothing but green and dabs. Alcohol and nothing but coffee and espresso turned into simple teas, coffees so much water. From eating a few times a week went to having full meals sometimes more than once a day. I stopped cutting and burning myself and started wearing glitter. I got a job, then two, then three. Parties, bars, mosh pits, basement shows, trespassing, staying up to see the sunrise turned into movies, car rides, museums, and early bedtimes for tomorrows responsibilities. Handfuls of roommates and people in and out of my bed at all hours turned into a one bedroom apartment and a bed shared with only one. Tho I quickly left that bed for the couch and slept there most nights. My life was so different but I was still so lost and empty. I thought I had what I wanted but when the person you're sharing your life with doesn't want you back.. the emptiness is so all consuming. I changed and the depression and agoraphobia got so much worse. So much isolation. My body changed my habits changed. Now I'm just plagued with chronic nightmares and the emptiness. I'm free from the grips of the lonely relationship but I lost myself day after day to 4 years. Tho I've learned so much about myself in that loneliness. I know what I'd like now and what I want but my body and brain are so fucking gone it's so out of reach and I don't feel like I can do it on my own. Everything in me tells me I'm wrong and if I was this or that maybe just maybe I'll be happy or loved. Then the echos of my past lovers cruel words bounce around that empty space in my chest and remind me that even through out all those different versions of myself I still wasn't enough for any of them to actually want me. They lied, cheated, hit, hurt, hid, and then left. No one has ever wanted me for more than a thrill or a self fulfillment. I myself, I've never been first choice to anyone friendships family lovers... it's hard to be my first choice and with little to no support or recourses and with a broken body and brain it's hard to change and reach for anything. I feel like a burden on those I love and I'm not really living for anything but sparing them the grief and guilt of my suicide.

I'm tired of this existence.

I'm tired.