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localtrashstan · 3 months ago

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My SDV Headcannons

I've decided to create a whole list of SFW headcannons for each bachelor and bachelorette. I do have some NSFW ones, but will NOT be sharing them here. Hope you all enjoy and that my favorites aren't too obvious 🫣

Sam:

- 23 or 24 at the oldest

- I think he's tall, nearing 6’0” if not there

- has a lot of ear piercings, maybe gauges

- has a tongue piercing

- probably has a lip ring or two idk I think he'd look good with snake bites but idk if he would actually have that or not. Ik Jodi would hate it lmao

- has a scar through his eyebrow and in other places on his body from skateboarding accidents

- is also always covered in scrapes and bruises for similar reasons

- loves animals, especially dogs

- very golden retriever coded and is blatantly clingy

- very outgoing and was probably the class clown type in high school

- loves rock and metal music, especially 90s grunge and punk

- definitely has a battle vest/jacket

- can only grow a bit of stubble on his chin that he stubbornly keeps

- is very muscular since he is so athletic

- can play the drums as well as guitar

- is always tanned bc he goes outside a lot

- probably would be a good dad bc he spends a lot of time with his little brother and seems very protective of him

- can befriend almost anyone

- has some silly tattoos

- likes the song writing process the most about music

- used to play acoustic guitar bc his dad taught him how. He rarely plays acoustic anymore, but will if you ask him to

- is very close with Vincent despite the age gap and enjoys being around children

- has ADHD

- his favorite season is summer bc that meant no school as a kid and just never stopped loving it

- very clingy and loves physical contact

- wears several rings

- lets Abigail paint his nails bright colors and begs her to redo them when they're gone. Red, green, and blue are his favorite colors but he doesn't have a preference

- develops crushes easily

- never got great grades in school

- has done illegal things like trespassing, speed racing, graffiti, lighting things on fire, etc

- he and Sebastian naturally were friends since shortly after they met

- would run a meme account on Instagram or something

- has freckles all over

- amazing singer, I imagine he has a voice similar to Noah Sebastian from Bad Omens (ik that's a common HC but whatever) and I imagine his band making similar music

- tried to teach Seb to skateboard and it didn't go well at all

- would write love songs and poems about his partner

- mischievous 25/8, I like to think in middle school he used to watch a ton of prank channels and would recreate the pranks much to everyone's annoyance

- just a silly guy, he will always keep his whimsy

- sk8r boi to his core

- I feel like he learned how to play a lot of meme-y or annoying songs on guitar just to be obnoxious bc he thinks it's funny

- I think once he moves out he'd do a lot of growing up but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be silly and kind of a rebel sometimes

- I feel like he's really into punk fashion and bands

- probably likes Nirvana, Blink-182 and Green Day a lot, I imagine he's into a lot of 90s music, probably 80s too, I can see him being really into Led Zeppelin and other hair bands and stuff

- would probably listen to any kind of rock or metal tbh. I think he probably chooses the music when the trio hang out together. Like maybe he has a playlist he made with all of the music they like on it and he likes to update it regularly to make sure there's something on it for everyone

- would ask if you'd still love him if he was a worm

- he probably liked dinosaurs as a kid but more in a "I want them to eat each other and destroy my toy cars and little cities like godzilla" kinda way than "I can name every dinosaur from the jurassic period and know random facts about all of them" way, which I image is more the kind of kid Seb was

- he writes most of their band's songs, but Seb and Abby like to contribute to lyrics and melodies sometimes

Sebastian:

- 25 or 26

- short king and is only like 5'7" or 5'8"

- has tattoos on his torso and arms, some of them he did himself as I imagine he probably has done some stick n pokes

- has an eyebrow piercing, multiple ear piercings, nose ring, and maybe a lip ring idk

- got Sam into modern rock and metal music when they were younger

- gave Sam and Abigail some of their piercings and did some of his own ear piercings

- taught himself programming and probably was a bit of a hacker too (maybe even got a degree but nobody remembers)

- became besties with Sam when they were kids (ik Sam grew up in the city, just let me have them as smalls playing together okay 😭)

- has a soft spot for all animals not just frogs

- originally learned to play the piano, Robin taught him how

- has never been in a relationship but I feel like maybe he's been kissed and had his first time at some point. He's awkward and kinda a loser (lovingly) but I imagine he's not entirely oblivious at the very least

- has a dry sense of humor + is super sarcastic. I feel like he might be really witty and pop off with something sometimes. Probably also likes to tease people a bit

- wears contact lenses, used to have giant nerdy glasses as a kid

- doesn't get cold bc he's used to the cold in the basement

- I am a doc martens/boots wearer Sebastian truther but I imagine he also wears converse type sneakers a lot too, especially in the warmer months since boots get too hot

- Maru's room used to be his

- loves horror, sci-fi and fantasy mainly but I feel like he secretly likes romance a tiny bit and he watched cheesy romance films with his mom growing up. He will NEVER admit to it though

- I feel like if he just learned how to cook he'd be good at it

- dislikes pda, seeing it and participating in it

- would show up at your house in the middle of the night to take you on a nighttime motorcycle ride under the stars

- will quit smoking if his partner dislikes it, even before marriage. I think he'd be really eager to please his partner in any way he can, and that would include quitting smoking

- he picked up smoking just to piss off his step-dad/maybe a little bit for attention too

- paints his nails black with markers when he's bored (unless Abigail does them)

- wears frog print socks secretly. I feel like he also has froggy pajamas. Or maybe the farmer bought them for him idk

- is actually really strong despite being pretty skinny. He has some faint abs maybe (if you squint really hard, trust), he probably got them after meeting his partner though bc he wanted to help out. Has toned arms from his mechanic work, but that's it tbh bro is a twig

- bought his motorcycle by himself and Robin hates it. She worries about him every time he goes out on it. She even pitched in to buy some of his gear because she wanted him to be as safe as possible

- wears eyeliner sometimes

- is touch-starved

- falls in love hard and fast

- wears a few rings on a nearly daily basis

- can also play electric guitar, Sam taught him how to at some point, although he claims he isn't very good if you ask

- can sing really well, he just never does bc he gets shy. I think he'd have a really sweet voice though and I imagine he sounds like Ricky from MIW

- writes songs sometimes but is shy about claiming them as they're often personal

- introverted as fuck, his social battery dies very fast and it wears him out

- is secretly skilled in the mines I think, especially given what gifts he can give you as your spouse and his dialogue about the rock crab in the mines

- very great mechanic and fixes stuff around the house without anyone noticing

- his closet is mostly black with hints of gray, red and white thrown in

- probably listens to MCR tbh and had a phase where he was obsessed with them in like middle school or something

- I think any rock and metal music with really emo or angsty lyrics would be his thing. Probably like metalcore too. Bad Omens, MIW, BMTH, shit like that, but he'd like and respect the greats as well, especially since he'd be listening to music with Sam a lot. I'm really into Ghost rn and I feel like he'd like them too idk

- ties his hair up when working sometimes

- smokes pot occasionally with Sam

- he's naturally pretty bc I said so

- smells like spicy cologne, something woodsy, motor oil, rain and faintly of cigarette smoke (he's careful to smoke outside only bc Robin hates it) (maybe smells a little like weed sometimes too)

- is the most mature of the A.S.S. trio

- highly intelligent, especially emotionally, he just isn't really known for it

- once he moves out he and Maru spend time together and end up making up and starting to have a healthy relationship until they eventually become besties. I imagine that they mainly bond over sci-fi movies and novels or comics

- he and Robin used to be really close

- knows how to dress wounds really well bc he used to do it for himself and Sam when they'd get into trouble as kids

- is an indoor person now, but used to go outside a lot as a kid to catch frogs

- definitely has his own D&D campaign, I don't make the rules

- I feel like if the poor man saw the sun he'd have some freckles on his nose

- has some cute moles on his body I just know it

- would go to war for his friends tbh

- definitely has doxxed someone

- actually incredibly sweet???

Elliott:

- 29

- i feel like he's like a solid 5'10"

- actually thinks he's Mr. Darcy

- ties his hair back with a ribbon sometimes and it's so pretty

- is the type to hang out in bookstores and coffee shops all day just writing

- was a theater kid

- definitely came from a rich family but is humble about it, maybe he got disowned or kicked out or something

- went to private school

- has a degree in language arts

- used to tutor his classmates for money

- is besties with Leah

- Willy reminds him of his grandfather who loved to fish

- very into nature conservation, especially the ocean, things he learned from his grandpa. He likes to talk to Willy and Leah about this sometimes

- he'd actually donate some of his writing income to some kind of nature protection organization if he ever made it big and got rich

- he's very dramatic in everything he does

- loves plants, please be prepared to have a whole house full (or if you had a sunroom, that would be filled up)

- wears satin pajama sets

- has a whole skin and hair care routine

- goes to spas and salons

- probably takes better care of himself than any of the other bachelors do tbh

- I feel like he's a beer drinker in public but drinks wine a lot in private

- writes poetry about his lovers and it's really deep and romantic stuff, Shakespeare would be impressed

- he'd 100% take rose petal baths

- actually uses good conditioner, shampoo, and body wash, homie takes care of himself, none of that 3-in-1 shit

- became a writer after falling in love with classic literature and Shakespeare

- would write plays for his high school

- very melancholy bc his rich family disinherited him, disapproving of his career choice

- likes to feel pretty

- I feel like he, Haley and Emily get together to swap fashion, hair and skincare tips sometimes

- would keep a fish tank (the man has a crab friend in his jacket pocket, like????)

- so fucking romantic, this man will remember every anniversary and make it better than the last

- heart is too big, I fear

- lives in a romance piece 24/7 and thinks he's the main character

- loves to go on long walks

- loves playing with and doing hair

- likes to hum classical music when he's deep in thought, it reminds him of when he was a kid

- very good piano player

- keeps a little notebook and pen in his pockets in case inspiration strikes wherever he might be

- probably collects fountain pens and other fine writing tools, or at least greatly appreciates them

- thinks he was born in the wrong era sometimes

- reads a lot in his spare time when he isn't fishing

- collects anything he finds pretty, kinda like a magpie

- probably owns some first edition books

- I bet he was kinda a nerd in school, like very theater kid, orchestra kid, reads a lot, valedictorian type of guy. Spent so much time studying and pursuing his passions that it made him feel a little awkward when trying to make friends

- Leah has definitely made him some book covers before

- Likes to cook, especially seafood

- has studied abroad at some point and made whatever European country he went to his entire personality for a couple weeks after coming back

- a good listener

- I feel like he likes to decorate a little bit

- goes through coffee almost as much as Sebastian and Harvey on the nights when inspiration hits so hard he can't sleep until he's gotten everything down on paper

- would let his partner do his makeup, nails, and hair if they asked, would even make a whole thing of it and maybe even do theirs

- I don't feel like he actually owns a lot of super casual clothes and mostly likes to dress to impress so to speak as he greatly believes in first impressions

Shane:

- 30, maybe 32, definitely in his early 30s though, he's too jaded to be in his 20s imo

- 5'9"

- I'm so sorry but he uses 3-in-1

- used to be a gridball player until an injury in high school. He was on track for a scholarship too

- dropped out of college bc he felt it wasn't worth it anymore

- is actually friends with Sam, he enjoys his company at JojaMart but will never admit to it

- he and Jas have tea parties

- Jas paints his nails sometimes

- when he gets married he takes Jas with him bc she is literally his daughter???

- weak af to persistent people and likes them despite acting like he doesn't

- bro just needs a hug, okay??????

- actually feel like he gives the best hugs tbh

- probably smells like damp hay and alcohol. However, at the same time I feel like he's the type of guy to use way too much axe body spray so idk there

- can grow a beard, I feel

- dad bod but he was always a stocky guy even at his peak athleticism

- would wear his clothes until they fall apart, he really doesn't care

- doesn't know wtf self care is

- help him plz

- is secretly a huge softie, you just have to get past the rough exterior

- would be super supportive as a friend or partner

- gets hungover all the time so he is a master at effective remedies and literally keeps ibuprofen in his pockets

- eyebags for days bc I don't think bro actually sleeps

- he would honestly be such a relatable coworker idk

- would get a midnight snack

- I feel like he listens to the Beatles and other oldies idk. Maybe like 80s and 90s rock/grunge bands too and a little bit of metal just to get the aggression out. I feel like he probably really likes Metallica, Slipknot, System of a Down, Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, Arch Enemy, Bullet For My Valentine, In This Moment, and Lorna Shore. This could be something he and Sam bond over and Sam starts showing him more bands. He also definitely listens to divorced dad music too

- gamer boy and good at it. Sam asks him for advice on games all the time

- would be a streamer, probably doing gaming or something with the chickens

- vents to his chicken Charlie

- follows Sam's meme account and just doesn't know it's Sam's

- I feel like he watches comedies and sitcoms to numb the pain but he probably is more of an action fan and I can see him watching crime shows or like superhero stuff and being REALLY into it

- feel like he had a vintage superhero comic collection at some point

- probably has at least one embarrassing tattoo he got while drunk

- his favorite pet name to call people is doll, darling, or sweetheart and I feel like he kinda just calls everyone that

- buys whatever is cheapest whenever he has to buy clothes and doesn't care too much about what it is so long as it seems relatively durable and is comfortable

- if he got his shit together I imagine he might collect vinyls and be a bit of a sneakerhead tbh

- wears a friendship bracelet Jas made him

Alex:

- 22

- probably 5'10" or 5'11"

- he and Haley are besties

- would spot you in the gym if you asked and give you pointers

- actually so friendly???

- hate to tell you this but he uses 3-in-1 (Haley is trying to fix that)

- always wanted a younger sibling so he's very fond of Jas and Vincent

- gives Jas and Vincent ice cream in the summer when Penny isn't looking

- actually very emotional but that isn't masculine and he kind of subscribes to toxic masculinity but he's working on it

- his grandparents dote on him like crazy, even George

- was a mama's boy fr

- i think he genuinely likes exercising not just bc he's naturally athletic and like gridball. I imagine other sports are fair game to him too

- himbo

- he's just a silly guy

- I like to think his mom made him eggs all the time bc she wasn't a very good cook and that's why he likes them so much

- actually a huge gossip

- flirty as hell and will flirt with anything that moves

- watches way too much sports on TV

- dyslexic af

- very muscular and cares a lot about his body and health

- competitive as hell in everything

- would have an in home gym and help his partner with any manual labor

- teen flick jock cliche

- really wants a muscle car someday

- is kinda a show off but we still love him for it

- sneakerhead fr he's got a huge collection i fear

- wears brand name clothes

- goes through way too much hair gel tbh like boi give ur hair a rest plz

- only let's Haley paint his nails clear </3

- has sleepovers with Haley

- this mfer is NOT good at cooking he eats like those gym bros u see online eating plain rice and chicken

- I feel like he really liked flying kites as a kid and idk why

Harvey:

- 35, but that might be bc of the old man hobbies </3

- TALL, like over 6'0", probably at least 6'2"

- very awkward and introverted, my poor man

- workaholic but he has to be

- please take a rest good sir

- wishes he could grow a beard but it's patchy af so he just shaves it off and keeps his mustache

- I feel like he's divorced or like got left at the altar or some shit and it took a huge hit on his confidence. Maybe a long term relationship went really poorly? Like he wasn't there much bc of med school and long hours and such and so he was cheated on or broken up with after a long term relationship that he thought was going well

- used to work in a big hospital in the city but the shifts and internal politics took a toll on him so he moved to Pelican Town to open his own small practice

- used to wear contacts but stopped buying them bc he couldn't wear them through long shifts at the hospital in the city, they hurt his eyes too much bc they got so dry

- he was definitely very studious and probably also played an instrument

- still talks to his parents on the phone regularly and they often ask if he's dating anyone and when he's gonna get married

- definitely a family man and loves children bc he doesn't feel as awkward with them

- gets take out all the time even though he'd like to eat healthy

- I think he and Elliott would actually get along really well

- please take a vacation

- is running on 3 hours of sleep, take out, coffee, and a shot of five hour energy

- probably spends a lot of time on his mustache and making sure it's well groomed

- tbh he'd just be a well groomed guy in general

- i feel like he's very averagely built, maybe got a little bit of a tummy

- calm energy

- likes to take care of others but please someone take care of him, he needs it

- doctor mode 24/7, he never really actually takes a break

- prioritizes everyone else's needs over his own

- recovering people pleaser

- listens to audio books sometimes

- owns a mustache comb

- is incredibly tidy and neat (except for his office which I feel is always littered with paper work)

- owns one of those flight simulator games

- also has a collection of model planes, some of them can actually fly remotely

- would be into drones I think

- not very good with technology

Abigail:

- 22

- tiny, only like 5'1"

- plays with ouija boards 4 fun????

- has definitely made a house haunted b4 bc of that ^

- has a tattoo of a sword on her forearm

- has multiple ear piercings as well as a septum, Medusa and a bellybutton ring

- feeds stray cats all the time

- is very into mythology and learning about monsters, I feel like she has a collection of books on them

- secretly trains with a sword

- collects crystals despite the fact she eats them </3

- wants to move to the city away from her overbearing parents with Sam and Seb

- is learning to play bass guitar :)

- knows how to play flute bc that's the instrument she played in high school

- befriended Sam and Sebastian in middle school but didn't hang out with them much until high school

- alternates dyeing her hair purple, blue and forest green but always comes back to purple since it's her favorite

- has a tattoo behind her ear of a monster

- Emily gave her an undercut that you can only see when she puts her hair up

- she likes to do tarot readings with Emily sometimes

- probably has had a crush on Haley at some point idk

- loves the fall, it's her favorite season

- is actually curvy bc I want her to be

- is the one that suggested and started the sleepover tradition in Sebastian's room

- paints Seb and Sam's nails

- has a dark sense of humor and some people just don't get it

- loves action, fantasy and horror

- is Wizard's daughter, I just know it. I know some people argue about it but just makes sense!!! How else could she eat rocks????

- feels bad for the monsters she kills when she does go into the mines and I feel like she does funeral rites, prayers, or something kind of ritual to pay her respects for them

- I feel like she's really into witchy stuff and should be friends with Emily bc of it

- stomach of steel bc wdym she eats crystals?????

- I feel like she and Sam can eat two whole pizzas each in one sitting. Each.

- I think she'd like goth bands, I can see her listening to a lot of them, but she'd probably listen to other rock and metal bands too just bc of Sam and Seb

- definitely had an Edgar Allen Poe phase

- so adorable????? (Your honor I love her)

- probably has nice arms from drumming and wielding a sword tbh we stan stronk women

- I think she'd like the band Ghost and would get Sam and Seb into them

- her singing voice sounds something like Lzzy Hale's voice from Halestorm. Strong but still pretty and feminine with a bit of rasp to it. Or maybe like Joan Jett? Something like that

- probably had a manic pixie dream girl phase

- at her maximum chaotic when she's with Sam and definitely joins in on some of his pranks

- likes to “borrow” Sebastian's games

- bickers with Sam as though they are siblings (bc they basically are)

- horror films are her favorite, anything spooky, gloomy, or action packed is up her alley too, though. She'd be a huge Tim Burton fan, I think

- super into Gothic fashion and makeup, I think she'd be a trad goth if she was able to

- I feel like Seb got her into anime and manga and she got really into isekai at some point

- DIYs her clothes sometimes

- secretly is super into cute things and has a little collection

- ultimate wing woman

- teasing master tbh

- competitive when it comes to gaming

- likes to go exploring

- liked to make “potions” as a kid and ykw if she really is Wizard's kid then maybe some of them worked....

- naturally kinda loud, especially when she gets passionate about something, good or bad, and tends to yell when she's excited about something without realizing it

- would go into the mines with the farmer

- likes to help her mom tend to her plants in their greenhouse

- will hang out at Joja Mart during Sam’s shifts sometimes and annoy him/distract him

- has a collection of ridiculous photos and videos of Sam's failed attempts at various tricks on his skateboard and likes to randomly send them to him

- can play pool, Sam and Seb taught her

Emily:

- 26

- 5'7", she looks like she's built like a model, tall, thin, and with long limbs

- dreams of becoming a fashion designer in Zuzu City someday and has an extensive portfolio

- her and her younger sister Haley moved to Pelican Town after their parents decided to move to another country bc it got too expensive in the city with just the two of them

- I pair her with Sandy, I'm convinced they need to be together please do not separate

- so friendly so people (Clint) take it the wrong way

- dyes her hair

- an astrology girlie

- does tarot with Abby

- has a dream journal she's been recording her dreams in since she was 10

- collects crystals for their healing properties and power

- was a party girl in the city

- low key the town barber/hairdresser

- I feel like indie music is more her thing, especially deep underground artists, but I think she'd also listen to anything popular as well. Maybe likes 60s and 70s as well, I can see that. Idk tho she's kinda a wild card, for all I know she could be listening to metal with Shane

- has definitely done shrooms and other hallucinogens, like I said she was a party girl

- I feel like she has a high alcohol tolerance and could drink a lot of people under the table and it always surprises them especially given she's tall and thin so there's not much to her

- vegan and probably attends protests and rallies for veganism but isn't annoying about it or anything, just passionate about what she believes in

- has traveled a bit and likes to try new things

- probably had/has a vlog channel on YouTube or maybe would do something similar on TikTok

- she sometimes makes clothes for Haley

- is a great drink mixer and she prefers cocktails over beer. Given her party girl energy, I think she'd still do tequila shots though

- is very dedicated to her Instagram and it is very artsy

- I feel like she likes crafty stuff in general

- cuts her own hair and has had many different styles over the years

- gives everyone fashion tips and is not a gatekeeper

- girls girl fr

- would be that girl you meet in the bathroom while drunk at a bar and become friends with her instantly

- if you're close she'd make clothes for you :)

- was on the dance team in school

- actually has a college degree in fashion merchandising and design

- I feel like she wears a lot of vintage style clothes like 60s, 70s, and 80s mostly and would totally go thrifting a lot and know all of the best places and times to go

Haley:

- 21

- only 5'3", she didn't get the tall genes

- bc she used to live in the city she grew accustomed to that lifestyle and had a hard time adjusting in Pelican Town. I imagine her photography was probably a huge source of comfort for her during that time

- Emily makes her clothes sometimes, and she acts like it's annoying but she actually super appreciates it especially since there isn't really anywhere to shop for clothes in person there

- has tried sun-in in her hair before she realized how bad it was for it

- surfer girl fr

- took a photography course in school and wants to be a nature photographer or maybe a fashion photographer

- I feel like she gets her hair done every 6 months on the dot and Emily does it for her

- kind of babygirl coded idk

- I feel like she'd take jobs as a photographer for engagements and weddings in the city

- I think she and Leah would get along since they're both artsy. Maybe even Elliott too

- ykw fuck it, she, Emily, Leah, Elliott and Alex have sleepovers sometimes and they also set up a little fair in the town square for the kids with Penny to educate them about the arts and Alex would be general support for them but might even do fun games and activities with the kids too

- definitely a pop girlie but I think she'd secretly listen to a bit of the oldies with Emily. Likes all the typical artists you'd expect like Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Chappel Roan, Shawn Mendes, Sabrina Carpenter, Britney Spears, Beyonce, One Direction, etc. But I also imagine she's into some 80s and 90s stuff too like Destiny's Child, Spice Girls, Michael Jackson, Prince, David Bowie, NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, etc.

- would have a tiktok and do a lot of the trends. Probably does a lot of get ready with mes and story times too

- has the most aesthetic Instagram you've ever seen and posts all of her photos on it

- has the most followers in Pelican Town

- secretly likes to model Emily's clothes for her

- wanted a pony as a child

- probably collects fashion dolls but doesn't let anyone know about it bc she thinks others will think it's lame (even though it's actually really cool)

- intense skincare routine

- would be into doing a full face of makeup all the time and she's amazing at makeup

- I think she loves giving makeovers idk

- fantastic nail artist, I feel like she does nails for anyone that wants them done

- she and Alex always somehow know all of the gossip and are constantly have little tea spilling sessions

Penny:

- 20

- 5'5"

- tries her best to be sociable. I imagine she really likes people she's just a bit more quiet and so she comes off as being really shy

- she is interested in history, poetry and literature and wants to become a teacher one day so she is tutoring until she saves up enough to go to college

- book club with Maru and sometimes Leah and Elliott joins

- loves children so much, I imagine she really wants to be a mother

- I feel like she likes to bake and cook even though she sucks at it (but over time she does improve!!!!)

- probably the straightest bachelor/ette at first glance, but I kinda ship her with Maru tbh so…yk

- trad wife tbh

- she'd bake you bread and cookies all the time if u were her friend

- I feel like she reads classic literature a lot and might actually get along well with Elliott

- likes to take care of people in general honestly and is a HUGE people pleaser

- kinda vanilla tbh, I think she's just really sheltered and idealized the "perfect" traditional family since she never got that for herself so much tho so it comes off that way

- loves nature, cares a lot about plants and animals. Goes on walks a lot

- likes to spend time making lesson plans for Jas and Vincent (and later Leo)

- knows Alex is giving Jas and Vincent candies and ice cream but pretends not to notice bc she thinks it's sweet he likes them so much

- Only paired with Sam bc he's kind of childish and she clearly likes to take care of people. I think Maru (or even Harvey?) would be a much better pairing for her

- probably likes stuff like Celine Dion and Whitney Houston. Maybe even Taylor Swift. Ykw if anyone was gonna listen to country out of the bachelor/ettes it would be her. I think she also likes to listen to movie scores as well tho and needs calm background music while she's working

- she'd have a dislike for Sebastian and Shane simply bc they don't look at the world the same way she does. I don't think she gets along well with pessimistic people at all. Haley and her probably also don't like each other much

- is jealous of Maru for having a good relationship with her parents and spends a lot of time at her house

- likes to use community resources with the kids a lot (library, museum, park, community center, etc)

- health conscious, I imagine she actually takes a lot of care of herself in that regard

- wears very stereotypically feminine attire. I feel like she might also be really into 50s styles and silhouettes but might even like some of the more preppy 90s looks too

- probably likes old classic Hollywood a lot, I feel like The Wizard of Oz was her favorite movie as a kid. Nowadays she probably has a Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn movie as her favorite. For some reason I'm feeling Gentlemen Prefer Blondes or maybe My Fair Lady

- likes old romance films, but I don't think she reads much romance

- reads mainly poetry, classics, history and teaching handbooks and guides, but since she does book club with Maru, I imagine she's read her fair share of scientific works and sci-fi novels

- always wanted to learn to play an instrument but never really got the opportunity to do so

- likes to crochet or knit

- collects stuffed animals, even though she's worried that its childish

- likes going to festivals and carnivals

- I feel like she's pretty religious

- won't knowingly consume alcohol bc of her mom but when she does she is very much so a lightweight. One drink and it's game over. Also feel like she's a very flirty drunk, or and overly honest one

- her father cheated on her mom and they divorced/he left them for his other family and now she distrusts people (especially men)

- loves botany and is also super into Victorian flower language

- wears Mary Janes and ballet flats the most

- early riser and a morning person

- technology doesn't really get along well with her but that's okay since she doesn't use it all that much

- really enjoys being outside, especially in the spring and summer

- watches a lot of documentaries and reality TV shows. Feel like she's also super into musicals

Leah:

- 24

- 5'5"

- makes book covers for Elliott occasionally

- sculpture is her favorite art medium and she finds herself inspired by the greats

- I feel like she's a Monet fan tbh

- very close with Haley, Elliott, and Robin

- she spends a lot of time outside finding inspiration from nature and is especially fond of the ocean. She probably goes on fishing day trips with Elliott and will just paint or draw most of the time

- likes to cook and is very good at it. Girl can make something from nothing like magic

- doesn't have a favorite specific film genre, I think she just likes to admire the cinematography tbh

- has a dark room she lets Haley use whenever she wants

- does arts and crafts projects with the kids for Penny sometimes

- likes nature and plants

- I feel like she's actually hilarious and would be such a fun friend to be around

- holds her liquor well, she could probably drink everyone in town under the table tbh

- she's probably traveled to every great city for art and visited many museums to see the originals up close

- caught Sam doing graffiti once but it was so good she pretended she didn't see

- a girls girl fr

- very strong, I think she'd actually be a pretty muscular lady

- freckles all over

- outside is her favorite place to be and I imagine that she really likes the summer

- loves to hike and go camping and would take friends on trips with her

- likes to feed the ducks

- eventually has an art gallery in the museum and runs an online print shop

- I feel like she'd be the most likely to have a pet racoon for some reason

- likes to go "hunting" for antler sheds and uses them in art

- has a collection of rocks, wood carvings, postcards, and I think she even has a collection of bones she finds around outside

- knows how to hunt and fish but I don't think that's really her thing tbh. I imagine she likes animals too much for that

- i think she was probably very outgoing and artsy in school and probably had a lot of friends also into the arts

- comfortable and practical clothes are more important to her than fashion

- would make her own natural hand soaps and lotions and ykw they'd smell so freaking good

- bakes bread once every week

- makes her own butter and cheese

Maru:

- 20

- 5'4"

- very interested in all kinds of science as well as technology and engineering (we stan women in STEM)

- I'm sorry she's just so cute

- definitely a big bookworm, sci-fi is obviously her favorite, but she often gets mad at the bad science in some of them

- would have a blog where she reviews books, movies, and TV shows she reads/watches

- probably used to write fanfiction tbh

- she does her own thing and likes doing so, but she often wishes she and Seb were closer and I imagine she awkwardly tries to make an effort but it goes unnoticed or reciprocated until after the two are living more separate lives

- golden child in every way, I don't think she's ever done anything bad in her life

- daddy's girl fr, she and Demetrius have always been very close and it shows

- friendly with everyone but I imagine she's a little awkward in her own age group as she probably doesn't keep up with slang, trends, or popculture

- was interested in medical science at some point

- engineering is her favorite but she likes all science and technology

- I feel like she listens to whatever music Penny or her parents listen to

- would totally watch sci-fi movies with Sebastian once they're on better terms

- gamer gurl

- she probably unknowingly plays games with Abby online all the time

- I think she and Abby aren't close but are friends and would probably talk a lot about games they like as well as astronomy, and Abby would try to help Maru get closer to Seb

- night owl, I think she almost stays up as late as Sebastian

- I imagine she probably really likes astronomy and stays up late looking at the stars when she isn't up late working on projects. She probably has the kind of personality where she will focus so hard on a project that she'll forget to eat or sleep because she doesn't want to lose the ideas she has or will be too determined to fix something or finish the project

- was very good at math in high school as well as chemistry. I think she may have even been in a science or math based club like mathletes or physics or something

- tries not to always suggest sci-fi novels during book club but often can't help herself

- I feel like she actually really enjoys medical dramas as well

- might even like classic film and musicals bc Penny got her into them and will find herself humming songs from musicals while working

- again, I pair her and Penny a lot in my head bc I just think they've got the most chemistry

- I think once she finally bonds with Sebastian it'll be like over Star Wars or something

- owns several pairs of glasses so that she can swap out the frames to match her outfit

- she has textured hair with really pretty defined curls. Sometimes she'll get braids done, but usually she let's her natural hair shine as is but likes to wear headbands and fun headscarves to keep her hair out of the way when she does her projects.

- does own a pair of contacts that she occasionally wears

- sometimes she forgets she's got goggles on her head or around her neck after working on a project

- wears a lot of cute and casual clothes that are more easy going like jumpers, cardigans, overalls, shorts and a t-shirt, just super casual and comfortable

- still has held onto her childhood favorite toys

- has a large collection of books whether they're novels, manuals, or scientific and medical textbooks

- knows first aid and is very good in an emergency

- I think she and Harvey probably talk about books and planes a lot when things are boring at work

- takes really good care of her hair

And that is all for now!! Sorry I posted this so late I had a lot going on irl. I've also got some dating and NSFW HCs for the bachelors (and a few for the bachelorettes but not enough for a full post for them atm) and maybe someday I'll post those but for now this is it. Thanks for reading hehe

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dreamersparacosm · 4 months ago

Text

jeon jungkook - the price of desire (part two)

warnings ; none!

prompt ; in which you learn that your dignity has a price, and unfortunately, it looks a lot like Jeon Jungkook in Calvin Klein boxers.

note ; thank u all for the love on part one!!!! eep!!!! it’s so sweet and fuzzy and… my heart 🥀 this part really delves into the dynamic of our beloved girlboss!reader and cocky ass idol!jk who just really annoys the shit out of her #freeher (the poor woman needs an escape after this one) all ur comments and asks are so cute and feel free to leave any thots in my inbox, let’s chat!

playlist here

series masterlist here

There’s no escaping him.

Not that you ever expected to, not when Calvin Klein’s biggest campaign of the year has his name attached to it. From the moment the deal was signed, your schedule became intertwined with his. Brand meetings, strategy calls, shoot planning sessions… he’s plaguing your every thought.

You’d known, of course. You’d signed off on it yourself. You oversee every aspect of this campaign, and that means oversight of him, how he’s presented, how he moves through the brand’s world, how the final product will be shaped.

But, knowing something in theory and experiencing it in reality are two very different things.

If he’s not on your Zoom calls, he’s on your email threads. If he’s not in your email threads, he’s being discussed in meetings. And now, he’s here, in the flesh, right in front of you, not making your job any easier.

The first photoshoot is set against the backdrop of a high-rise studio in downtown Seoul, a sleek industrial space with floor-to-ceiling windows,

You arrive early with Daniel and the rest of the brand’s creative team, immediately slipping into work mode. Lighting setups are checked, wardrobe racks are lined up, the creative director goes over the shot list with the photographers.

Everything moves with calculated efficiency, and you navigate the space effortlessly, clipboard in hand, scanning every detail.

You are, by all accounts, a menace with a calendar. A tyrant with a timeline. If something isn’t color-coded, cross-checked, and confirmed twice over, it doesn’t exist. You’ve planned weddings you weren’t invited to. You once scheduled a breakdown and it started early, which pissed you off. So this shoot? This shoot will run like a Swiss train: on time and terrifyingly precise. Every outfit and even a coffee break has been slotted into an airtight agenda that could withstand a nuclear winter. If spontaneity knocks, it will be turned away at the door and escorted off the premises.

Yet of course, all that goes to absolute shit when Jeon Jungkook steps onto the set twenty minutes late like he owns it.

In a way, and you hate to admit it, he does.

Dressed in black denim, a crisp Calvin Klein shirt hugging his frame, and an open jean button-up that hangs off his shoulders, he looks every bit the part of an icon. His dark hair is perfectly tousled, his tattoos stark against his skin, silver jewelry catching the studio lights with every movement.

Now, you don’t necessarily care for men. Or well, scratch that, ctrl, alt, delete. You do. Unfortunately. Against all better judgment and with mounting personal regret, you do. It’s offensive, really, how good Jungkook looks in the outfit you personally styled (and fine… you’ll admit it. The fashion team did work on all final touches.)

You genuinely feel ill. Nauseous. Your own taste is betraying you in real time. You picked this look for the goddamn aesthetic, not to have your brain short-circuit and your stomach drop like you’re 13 and doomed.

He’s spent over a decade being watched, dissected, and adored. He walks like someone who’s long made peace with the fact that all eyes will follow, that entire rooms shift on their axis the moment he steps in. He has the kind of confidence born from years of people telling him he’s extraordinary and him deciding, yeah, I’m the shit. The kind that makes you want to slap it off his face, to put it so nicely.

His gaze finds yours immediately and you do your best to barely acknowledge him.

A simple nod. A professional, detached greeting. Then, you turn back to your notes, flipping a page as if you care about the pencil scratching in your journal pad.

Jungkook doesn’t like that. That’s saying a lot, because Jungkook likes a lot of things. Expensive clothes, pretty girls, the sound of his own name trending at number one; he’s not exactly hard to please. But being ignored? That’s a different beast. Especially by you. During his photoshoot? The one where he looks like sin incarnate in head-to-toe Calvin Klein and you’re barely giving him a glance, busy scribbling like you’re allergic to his existence? Please. It’s offensive. Insulting, even.

Jungkook thrives on attention the way plants need sunlight, except he doesn’t wilt without it; he gets petty. Because really, who do you think you are? Some executive with a headset and God complex? Okay, yes, that’s exactly what you are but still.

You hear it before you see it, the amused exhale, the small click of his tongue against his teeth. “Come on. Not even a ‘good morning’?”

You don’t look up. “I assume you know what time of day it is.”

“Still so cold,” he muses, arms lazily crossing over his chest. “I was hoping we’d warmed up to each other by now.”

Daniel, standing beside you, doesn’t even glance up from his phone at his taunts. You roll your eyes, “It’s been two days, Jeon. Relax.”

Jungkook ignores that, tilting his head slightly. “Maybe I should make it my mission to see how long you can keep up this whole ice queen act.”

You finally look at him then. “It’s not an act,” you say simply.

His lips part slightly, maybe expecting you to play along, to give him something to work with. But you’re already turning back to the shoot, eyes scanning the set.

Jungkook shifts beside you, and you catch the slight twitch of his jaw, the way his tongue rolls against the inside of his cheek.

He’s irritated. Good. Maybe now he’ll shut up and do what he came here to do: stand in front of the camera, look pretty, and let the professionals handle the rest. You don’t need his commentary or whatever flirty nonsense he’s cooking up. You need him silent and in frame. You want five minutes of peace. Five. Is that so much to ask from the most attention-starved man in South Korea?

The photoshoot begins, and you remain exactly as you were before, analytical, focused on the execution rather than the man at the center of it.

Jungkook, however, is not handling it well.

He does his job because he did sign a contract, after all. He’s flawless in front of the camera, shifting effortlessly between intensity and ease. But in between takes, his eyes keep flicking toward you, searching for something — approval, irritation, anything.

There are small, almost petulant glances he throws your way. He exaggerates his movements, as if daring you to react. His mouth tightens slightly every time you remain unaffected.

You’re standing a few feet away with Daniel, eyes trained on the monitors, deep in conversation with the photographer about lighting and angle ratios like Jungkook doesn’t even exist. He’s used to being the center of gravity, the one pulling attention without trying. But you? You’re immune. Or, pretending to be, which makes him want it more.

Daniel eventually notices too. He exhales beside you, muttering under his breath. “I think you’re actually pissing him off.”

You barely blink. “He’ll live.”

Jungkook stretches lazily. “I can hear you, you know.”

Daniel shrugs. “Wasn’t exactly whispering.”

A stylist steps forward to adjust Jungkook’s shirt, but his eyes remain on you. A slow smirk creeps up on his face, “Bet she’s more fun outside of work.”

You don’t react. Not even a flicker of amusement, or a twitch of annoyance. You just turn a page in your notes.

You’ve worked with celebrities before, countless of them. Models with impossible cheekbones, actors who appear in photoshoots as stoic as they do on screens, musicians who spend half the time singing more than speaking. You know how this works.How they work.

They are charming when they need to be. Calculated, even when they pretend not to be.

You’ve seen the way they shift in and out of personas, the way they make the world fall at their feet without ever having to try. And above all, you know not to get attached. Not to care too much, not to mistake proximity for something personal.

At the end of the day, this is your job. A carefully structured exchange where both parties win.

Jeon Jungkook is no different, no matter how many times he tests you.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Luxury brand trips are a logistical nightmare. You’ll shout it from the rooftops.

The world sees the polished, effortless veneer: the private jets, the accommodations, the effortless blending of celebrities and influencers. What they don’t see is the meticulous orchestration that happens behind the scenes.

It’s not just you and Jungkook. It’s his team: managers, stylists, security. It’s your team: brand executives, PR strategists, creative directors. It’s an entire machine moving in sync, ensuring that when the cameras flash when you touch down in Los Angeles, everything looks flawless.

The airport in itself is even controlled chaos.

Jungkook’s security detail moves like clockwork, clearing pathways, keeping him shielded from prying eyes and eager phones. Your team works around it, checking baggage, confirming schedules.

Jungkook, as per usual, is unbothered.

You catch glimpses of him as you navigate through the VIP terminal, dressed in loose gray sweats and an oversized hoodie, sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal his inked forearm. Dark hair ruffled just enough to look effortless, AirPods in, hands tucked in his pockets.

You don’t acknowledge it. Not when fans outside the terminal scream like they’ve seen the second coming of Christ. Not when his security team moves like a highly trained boyband of their own, parting the chaos with eerie, synchronized precision. Please. You don’t get starstruck. You don’t get flustered. You’ve survived Milan Fashion Week on three hours of sleep and a juice cleanse.

It’s a commercial flight, but first-class, of course. Private travel was considered, but Calvin Klein, ever so strategic, prefers the occasional glimpse of their brand ambassador in the wild. A silent PR move.

Your boarding pass has you in 1A, which would have been fine…

Except Jungkook’s is 1B (and you’ll never forgive your assistant for this, you make a mental note of it.)

You stare at the seat next to you for a half-second longer than necessary before placing your carry-on in the overhead compartment, sinking into your seat, and immediately pulling out your iPad. Noise cancellation on. Work mode engaged.

Jungkook arrives minutes later, dropping into the seat beside you with zero urgency.

“You work too much.”

You’ve heard that before. You’ve also gotten that your laptop should pay rent for how often it’s attached to your side. It’s nothing new. Friends say it with concern, colleagues say it with admiration. It really doesn’t phase you anymore.

One hand taps against the digital screen in front of you, scrolling through a campaign brief. Your AirPods are in., and you’ve confirmed that when you tapped against your ears. There is no reason for this conversation to be happening.

But Jungkook, as you’re coming to learn, is persistent.

He leans slightly toward you, not enough to invade your space, just enough to be impossible to ignore.

“Come on,” he drawls, “At least pretend to be excited. We’re going to LA.”

You finally glance at him, expression unreadable. “I’m working.”

Jungkook’s mouth twitches, like he’s trying not to smile. “I can see that.”

You blink once. “Then why are you talking to me?”

He exhales a quiet laugh, leaning back against his seat. “Because it’s fun watching you pretend you don’t like me.”

You don’t even flinch. “I don’t pretend.”

He tilts his head, assessing. Like he’s some kind of airport therapist and you’re a particularly fascinating case study in emotional repression and overachievement. Then, he does one slow, infuriating nod. As if, in the two seconds he’s been sitting next to you on this plane, he’s cracked the code. Solved the mystery. You don’t even have your seatbelt buckled and he’s already looking at you like ah, yes. This one’s never known peace.

“Right. Just like you don’t take breaks.”

You return your focus to the screen in front of you, ignoring him.

He stretches out slightly, legs shifting closer, tapping a lazy rhythm against his armrest. “So what’s the plan?” he asks. “We land, and then what? Straight to fittings? Or do we get one of those ridiculously overpriced hotel dinners first?”

You sigh through your nose. “We land, go to the hotel, and get some rest. Tomorrow, all business.”

Jungkook hums. “Of course it is.”

You turn a page on your iPad. “What else would it be?”

Silence. You think you’ve got him to finally pipe down. Then, with zero warning, he reaches over and pulls out one of your AirPods.

You blink at him, genuinely caught off guard.

Jungkook grins, twirling the small white earbud between his fingers. “Maybe a little fun.”

You stare at him for a long second. Without a word, you take the AirPod back, place it in your ear, and turn the volume up.

Jungkook watches you with a look of amusement head tilting slightly like you’re the most entertaining in-flight movie he’s ever been assigned a seat next to. He might as well have said challenge accepted with the way he chuckles at you.

It starts small with some light taps against the armrest, exaggerated sighs, subtle shifts in his seat as if he’s just trying to get comfortable.

You wedge your elbow against the armrest like it’s a shield. The glow of your screen bathes you in a holy light, a divine protection against the man seated beside you. You highlight key notes in yellow, underline them in red, even bold them for good measure, like the sheer force of productivity might drown out the weight of Jungkook’s gaze burning holes into the side of your face. You pretend not to see him. You pretend so hard, you could win an Oscar for Best Actress in a Scene for a new movie starring you, Ignore the Menace. And you’re doing so, so good, until the clown opens his mouth once more and peace dies before the wheels have barely left the asphalt.

“So what’s your playlist?” he questions innocently, turning his head toward you.

You keep your gaze fixed on the iPad. “Excuse me?”

He gestures vaguely to your AirPods. “What are you listening to? Classical? Productivity podcasts? White noise? Oh wait..” he smirks, “Let me guess. Something cold and terrifying, like a stock market recap.”

You exhale slowly through your nose. “It’s none of your business.”

Jungkook hums, tapping his fingers on the armrest. “It’s gotta be classical, right? You give off the vibes of someone who looked up what music is the best for work.”

You don’t even care anymore. “And you give off toxic male rap.”

He gasps dramatically, pressing a hand over his chest. “Wow. That was uncalled for.”

Finally, you tilt your head to him, raising a brow. “Was it?”

Jungkook bites back a grin. “You wound me.”

You let out a long, slow breath, dragging your fingers across the screen of your iPad with as much patience as you can muster. “I’m trying to work.”

“I can see that,” he replies smoothly. “And I’m trying to help.”

“By doing what, exactly?”

Jungkook leans in slightly, voice dropping just enough to be intentionally annoying. “By making sure you don’t die of boredom.”

Your jaw clenches. “I’m not bored.”

“Oh no, of course not.” He gestures to your screen. “I mean, who wouldn’t be riveted by… spreadsheets?”

You slam your iPad down onto the tray table with a sharp thud.

The passengers in first class don’t react because they are far too wealthy to acknowledge petty mortal noises but Jungkook? He grins widely, entirely too satisfied.

You turn in your seat, glaring at him. “Do you have an off button?”

Jungkook pretends to think about it. “Mmm. No.”

You inhale deeply, pressing your fingers to your temples. “This is a 14 hour flight.”

“Oh, I know.”

Your lips press into a thin line. “You can’t possibly be this annoying for the entire time.”

Jungkook leans back, stretching his arms over his head, biceps flexing slightly as his shirt shifts against his skin. “Wanna bet?”

You deadpan. “I will throw you out of this plane.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “You can’t. We’re already too high up.”

“I’ll find a way.”

Jungkook’s laughter deepens, amused. “I like you.”

You sigh, grabbing your iPad again. “Tragic.”

“Oh, come on,” he teases, nudging your knee slightly with his. “Admit it. You’d be bored without me.”

Your fingers tighten around the device. “I was fine before you sat down.”

“Were you?” His voice is teasing but with just the faintest edge. “Because you look a little different now.”

You glance at him. “Different how?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Less ice queen. More… alive.”

For a split second, you pause. Not because what he said was particularly clever — Jungkook’s never been burdened by the weight of originality — but because being called an ice queen is somehow both insulting and weirdly flattering. He smiles, clearly pleased with himself, and you wish you could throw him out the emergency exit without violating FAA regulations.

Nonetheless, you turn the volume up on your AirPods and go back to your screen.

Jungkook sighs dramatically. “So heartless.”

Still nothing from you. There will be no reactions until the wheels of this plane touch down on United States soil.

“Honestly, it’s kind of hot.”

You don’t know what possesses you, but suddenly, you rip out one AirPod and shove it into his ear.

It takes him all of three seconds to realize what’s playing.

“You’re listening to The Weeknd?”

His voice is so scandalized that you finally let the tiniest little smile onto your face, barely.

Jungkook blinks at you, processing. His face is laced with pure betrayal, considering you’ve just shattered every preconceived notion he had about you.

You barely suppress a smirk. “What? You really thought I only listened to stock market updates?”

He scoffs, shaking his head. “I mean… yeah.”

You throw your head back against the seat, “That’s rich coming from you. You probably only listen to K-pop.”

Jungkook’s jaw drops in mock offense. “Excuse me?”

You lean back slightly, giving him a slow, assessing once-over before narrowing your eyes. “Let me guess… Stray Kids?”

Jungkook lets out a laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Oh, come on. That’s too obvious.”

You pretend to think harder. “Fine. TWICE? ATEEZ?”

He exhales sharply, squinting his eyes at you, “Jesus. Just say BTS and get it over with.”

You raise a brow. “I feel like that would be cheating.”

Jungkook grins, adjusting his posture slightly so he’s angled toward you. “Okay, since we’re making assumptions… what else do you think I listen to?”

You tap a finger against your chin, pretending to study him. “I don’t know… something angsty. Definitely some 90s hip-hop to feel cool. Maybe, on a rare occasion, some lo-fi beats when you’re trying to be different”

Jungkook stares at you, slow-blinking. “Are you stalking me?”

You snort, shifting your iPad to your lap. “I just have basic critical thinking skills.”

He exhales a laugh, shaking his head. “You’re dangerously good at this.”

You hum, turning slightly to face him more fully. “Alright, then. What do you think I listen to? Besides The Weeknd, of course?”

Jungkook bites his lip, eyes glinting like he’s been waiting for this challenge. “Oh, that’s easy.”

You fold your arms. “Try me.”

He leans in slightly, voice low. “You pretend to like jazz.”

You gape at him. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah.” He nods, far too pleased with himself. “You tell people you listen to jazz to sound cultured, but secretly, you have a playlist titled ‘girlboss rage’ that’s just early 2000s pop punk.”

You burst out laughing before you can stop yourself. “I do not—”

“Be honest,” he interrupts, smirking. “When was the last time you listened to Avril Lavigne?”

Your mouth opens. Closes. Kinda like a fish gasping for air, fresh out of water. You narrow your eyes, pressing your lips together. “…Mind your business.”

Jungkook laughs loudly, shaking his head in victory.

Just like that, your work is completely forgotten. The conversation shifts, and you talk about concerts, about the way you never had the money to go to them growing up, and how he barely remembers a time when he wasn’t the one on stage.

You tease him about his tattoos. He teases you about being chronically online. Somewhere along the way, you tell him that you hate in-flight meals. Somewhere along the way, you also manage to forget why you were working in the first place.

It’s when, and only when, a flight attendant interrupts, clearing her throat politely, that you both snap out of it.

“Excuse me,” she says, smiling professionally. “Would you both like to order lunch?”

You blink. Lunch?

You glance at your iPad. The screen is dark, long since untouched. A fresh wave of nausea rises in your chest, not from hunger but from the horrifying realization that you, in all your hyper-disciplined glory, have just spent over an hour talking to Jungkook. Talking. Laughing, even. Worst of all, enjoying it. You swore you’d use this flight to catch up on work, to review the final media strategy deck and highlight the client notes that were due yesterday. Instead, your iPad went to sleep sometime around his third remark, and you let it. You stare down at it like it personally betrayed you. Honestly, it probably did.

He looks over at you, voice filled with fake innocence. “I thought you were busy working?”

You inhale deeply, dragging a hand down your face. You are going to kill him. Is this even in your pay grade?

After the flight attendant leaves, you immediately straighten in your seat, ignoring the look Jungkook is still throwing your way. Without a word, you pick up your iPad again, drowning yourself back in work.

Jungkook hums, completely unbothered. “That was fun.”

You don’t even peer up. “For you.”

He chuckles, then sighs, sinking deeper into his seat. “I think I’m gonna nap.”

You hum noncommittally. “Good idea.”

A few minutes later, you dare to peek, just to make sure he’s really out.

The heavens above have answered your prayers — he is. Blessed, blessed silence.

For the next few hours, the world is right again. You manage to finish multiple reports, respond to three emails, and revise a campaign strategy without interruption. It is peaceful. It is productive. Everything your heart has ached for.

And really you shouldn’t have gotten so cocky, because disaster strikes. Just as you’re finally settling into a focused rhythm, Jungkook stirs. You hear it first; the quiet inhale, the slow stretch, the rustle of fabric as he shifts beside you. You brace yourself for impact.

“Did you miss me?”

Your eye twitches. Goddamnit.

“No,” You say flatly, not looking up.

Jungkook lets out a hoarse, sleep-heavy chuckle. His voice is groggy, unfairly attractive (and you hate to see it.) “Damn. What time is it?”

You exhale through your nose. “Time for you to continue not talking.”

Jungkook beams, “Wow. You missed me, huh?”

You turn back to your screen. “Not even for a second.”

He stretches again, rolling his shoulders, sighing loudly. Does the man have any concept of personal space and inside voice? Probably not, but you keep typing anyway.

Then, to your point, he starts talking again.

“You always this fun on flights?” he says, tapping absentmindedly against the leather of his chair. “Or am I just special?”

You still don’t look up. “If by special, you mean insufferable, then yes.”

Jungkook laughs, then shifts slightly closer just enough to be impossible to ignore. “So where are you from?” he asks casually.

You blink at him.“What?”

He shrugs, like it’s a completely normal question. Like he hasn’t spent the entire flight annoying you. “I’m curious.”

You resist the urge to sigh. “Why?”

“Why not?” He smirks. “Maybe I just want to know what kind of environment produces someone so…emotionally unavailable.”

You glare at him. “I’m not emotionally unavailable.”

He tilts his head, considering. “Mmm. Jury’s still out on that one.”

You press your lips into a tight line. You do not have time for this. Maybe if you give him the answer (and you should know better), he’ll quit it. So, without thinking, you say, “Busan.”

Jungkook stills, brows lifting slightly. His mouth parts just a little, like he wasn’t expecting that answer. The thing about Busan is it’s the kind of place where you feel like you know everyone, and worse, everyone thinks they know you. You were the girl who worked two jobs in high school, the one with a mother who never quite forgave the world for how hard her life turned out.

His entire expression softens. “Me too.”

There’s something about the way he says it. His usual cockiness fades for a second. There’s no teasing lilt, no smug amusement. Just quiet, a little familiar. Jungkook says it like it means something. Like it’s a revelation. Like this shared detail is suddenly supposed to bridge the vast gap between you.

So, before he can say anything else, you shake your head, turn back to your work, and bury the moment beneath the weight of reality. Jeon Jungkook might be from Busan, but he’s also unbelievably full of himself. You are not going to fall for it.

You let out a hum “That’s nice.”

Jungkook stares. “That’s it?”

You keep scrolling through your notes. “What else do you want? A hometown reunion?”

Jungkook exhales a short laugh, “I don’t know. I just thought you’d find it cool.”

You peek at him through your lashes, “Why?”

He leans back, studying you for a moment before shrugging. “People usually do.”

There it is again. The ego. The casual arrogance. The absolute, unshakable certainty that the world is interested in him.

You sigh, tapping your stylus against your iPad. “I hate to break it to you, Jungkook, but not everything about you is a special trait. ”

Jungkook gapes at you. “I— what?”

“You heard me.”

For the first time since you met him, he looks genuinely, completely thrown, like his brain just hit a blue screen error and forgot how to reboot. It’s almost touching, really. He can’t decide whether to be offended, impressed, or propose on the spot.

Jungkook leans in slightly, narrowing his eyes. “So that’s it? You’re just gonna go back to ignoring me?”

You shrug. “That was always the plan.”

His tongue rolls against the inside of his cheek, a telltale sign of frustration. He sputters for another beat before going, “Well, I think you secretly like me.”

You exhale sharply, slamming your iPad down for the second time on this flight. The man is unbelievable.

And just like that, the momentary amnesia clears. You remember exactly why you can’t stand him.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Los Angeles is warm when you land, almost too warm for how tired you are.

The descent into LAX had been smooth, but the exhaustion settled in almost immediately after stepping off the plane. The weight of fourteen hours in the air, the unfortunate stiffness of first-class seats, the unrelenting ache of schedules waiting to be met, it all clings to you.

And judging by the low murmurs and sluggish movements of the team around you, you aren’t alone. By the time you make it through private customs and into waiting black SUVs, Daniel sighs dramatically beside you. “Food. We need food.”

There are collective murmurs of agreement.

Jungkook, lazily lounging beside his manager, half-asleep but still annoyingly composed, lifts a brow. “We eating somewhere fancy?”

“No,” you say immediately, before anyone can even think of pulling out a Michelin-star reservation. “We’re in America. Let’s eat something that actually reminds some of you of home .”

Daniel hums, intrigued. “What do you have in mind?”

You barely have to think about it. “Korean barbecue.”

You take them to your favorite spot, a tucked-away, no-frills restaurant in Koreatown, where the air is thick with the scent of sizzling meat, sesame oil, and open flames. It’s loud inside, the hum of conversations overlapping, the occasional clang of tongs against grill plates.

“You come here often?” Jungkook muses as you lead the group toward a long booth in the back.

“When I’m in LA,” you say simply, flagging down a server with an easy nod. “It’s the closest thing to home you’ll find in this city.”

Daniel slides into the booth first, followed by Jungkook’s team and yours.

“Wait.”

Jungkook’s voice cuts in immediately, halting Daniel mid-slide.

Daniel eyes him, suspicious. “What?”

Jungkook gestures vaguely toward the booth, expression all innocent. “I just think.. since she picked the place, she should have a good seat.”

You blink, watching this madness unfold.

Daniel scoffs. “And you think that seat just happens to be next to you?”

Jungkook shrugs, unbothered. “Who’s to say?”

Daniel narrows his eyes, clearly weighing his options. Jungkook raises a brow, challenging. You exhale, too tired to deal with the absurdity of two grown men engaged in a silent battle over seating arrangements (which apparently you have no say in. Like who made that rule?)

“Just sit,” you mutter, sliding into the booth before either of them can argue.

For a second, you think you’ve won.

Then Jungkook moves quickly as he slots himself beside you, the movement so smooth it barely leaves room for protest.

You don’t have time to react before Daniel groans loudly, sliding in on the other side with a deep scowl. “I hate both of you.”

Jungkook just grins. “Love you too.”

The booth is long but cramped, packed with bodies and shared plates, bottles of soju sweating condensation against the wooden table. You, however, are acutely aware of one thing. Jungkook is too close. Not enough to be obvious, but just enough for the heat of his body to radiate against yours, for the barest brush of his knee against yours beneath the table.

You keep your expression neutral, ignoring the way his thigh shifts slightly closer every time he adjusts his position, or the way he leans back against the booth, arms stretching along the backrest, fingertips just grazing your shoulder.

When the first plates of pork belly hit the grill, sizzling on impact, you pretend you also don’t notice the way Jungkook smirks when you finally pick up your chopsticks. You really don’t get what his interest in you is. It’s not like you’re doing anything seductive. You’re literally just eating dinner, holding your chopsticks like a normal, well-adjusted adult. At this point, you’re convinced you could sneeze and he’d find a way to make it flirtatious.

The conversation flows effortlessly around the table and you sip your water, nodding along, almost relaxed, until your phone buzzes quietly in your lap.

Your mother’s name flashes on the screen, bright and insistent. You don’t hesitate. Thumb to the red button. Declined. You tell yourself you’ll call back later, maybe after dessert, maybe tomorrow. Maybe when the timing feels easier.

No worth dwelling on it now, you’re busy anyway.

While you try to re-enter the conversation, your elbow bumps Jungkook’s under the table, barely skin on skin, but you recoil like you’ve been burned. Not subtly either. You yank your arm back with the kind of reflex reserved for hot stoves and childhood memories of being told boys have cooties.

You swear he knows exactly what he’s doing.

Daniel is the first to catch on. He watches you and Jungkook, brows furrowing slightly before he lets out a low snort. “This is painful to watch.”

You glance at him, expression flat. “What is?”

Daniel smirks, picking up a slice of grilled pork with his chopsticks. “You. Pretending you’re not about five seconds away from flipping the table over just because Jungkook exists.”

You exhale sharply, reaching for your water. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jungkook hums, propping an elbow on the table, gaze flickering between you and Daniel. “I don’t know. I swear she’s about to crack.”

You nearly choke on your drink while Daniel barks out a laugh, leaning back in his seat. “Yeah, sure. And I think you’re capable of shutting up for more than two minutes.”

Jungkook clicks his tongue, “Wow. I just got here, and already I’m being disrespected.”

His manager shakes his head, amused. “You’ll survive.”

Jungkook grins, then nudges your shoulder. “You still haven’t denied it, though.”

You set your glass down, exhaling slowly. “Denied what?”

“That I’ll crack through your icy exterior.”

The booth goes silent. Jungkook’s team is watching now, entertained. Here’s the thing: you’re not necessarily the frigid ice queen he’s mentioned 40 times in the past few days you’ve known him. No, you have feelings too, you swear. You’ve cried at movies, once teared up at a perfume ad, and you even pet a stray cat last week. But what you don’t do— what you refuse to do —is bend to men and their silly little habits.

Absolutely not.

You are not going to be undone by an elbow. You will not dignify that smug flicker in his eye. He needs to be humbled. And if the universe won’t do it, then congratulations, it’s your new personal mission.

You pick up your chopsticks calmly, unfazed. “Jungkook, I deal with Fortune 500 companies, hostile celebrities, and CEOs who have tried, and failed, to intimidate me. You.. don’t even make the list.”

Low snickers erupt around the table.

Jungkook smirks, leaning in slightly. “Damn. I think that was the sexiest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Daniel groans, reaching for the soju bottle. “I cannot do this sober.”

Jungkook’s manager shakes his head, muttering, “Neither can we.”

You ignore them. You ignore all of them. But what you can’t ignore is the small twitch of Jungkook’s lips, the flicker of amusement, intrigue, like he’s watching you under a microscope and finding the results fascinating. No, because why is your heart picking up speed? Why is your skin warm? He’s not even doing anything. That’s the problem. He’s just there, annoying and bothersome and stupidly attractive, and somehow your entire nervous system is reacting like he declared war on your self-control.

And well, you also certainly can’t ignore the way his knee presses just a little firmer against yours beneath the table.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

masterlist + request

taglist ; @lovingkoalaface @maybetheproblemisme @mimi1097 @mar-lo-pap @mysjammy @yooniepot @tinytan-gerine @ashslight @sky-23s-world @myzzysstuff @elinaki92 @7fever @munchkin-kitty7-blog @koofleur @jjkluver7 @coletaehyung @jkxlvrr @amarawayne @kooslilhoe @bangchanwantsmesobad @kpopslur @senaqsstuff @sugakookies77 @tteokbokibyjk @emmie2308 @neurospicynugget @prxdajeon @majesticjung-97 @jksusawife @rkivesarchive @hyunjinswifetingzz @bjoriis @nan4rf @parkinglot-nights

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #bts #bts army #bts fanfic #bts x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff

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seunghyunjigglers · 8 months ago

Text

mama, a stray kid behind YOU ★ @seunghyunjigglers

ot8 skz members as brainrot memes!

author's note: we even included links for some of the less chronically online divas out there (generous much?)! a lot of thought and effort went into this and we hope you love and appreciate our firstborn child. tw: dark humor. betas, do not interact!

chan ★ "i'm the leader, i'm the alpha, i'm the one to trust"

unironically watches bad edits of himself and goes "ayeee" to hype himself up about being edited

comments under them on his secret account

his fyp is now most definitely infiltrated by alpha chan edits

let's be real the whole trend was probably what inspired wolfgang to be released

bites his lip bc he thinks it makes him look sexy and he just looks like he's eating his bottom lip

tries to do that thing where guys put their necklace between their lips and take pics to be sexy but the necklace falls down his throat and he starts choking

would deliberately start doing aegyo followed by serving face to show his 'duality' since apparently the fandom love it (poor guy doesn't understand irony still)

LOVES when stays talk about his gyatt and starts using it bc he thinks its just another normal word for ass and seungmin and felix almost throw up laughing at him

minho ★ "queen never cry"

genuinely thought 'lock in' was something to be taken seriously and does NOT take it lightly when chan tells everyone to lock in

his kinky ass also probably thought it was some kind of jail roleplay (jisung had to explain it to him)

has mewing competitions with himself in the mirror

makes 'minho never CRY 💜' the note on his alarm in the morning

thinks it’s funny when he recommends the ki sisters manga (where the meme comes from) to people as his favorite series and the poor author has to actually go on a talk show cause he blew it up with the internet

checks his notifications EVERY day hoping someone will edit him with that baby

accidentally comments “queen NEVER cry” under a sentimental skz edit on the official account and wakes up with several calls from his managers.. let’s just say it didn’t go over well

changbin ★ "gadagadegadagadao" (omega nugget)

he stumbled across this meme on felix's fyp one evening and thought it would make the best vocal warmup for his raps, didn't realise it was a joke and actually uses it before recording tracks

when he discovers its a meme he thinks its hilarious and makes it his whole personality

stops mid convo with people and makes the face and thinks he's so funny (everyone is tired of it)

orders mcdonald's for everyone and takes the time to draw the face on EVERY chicken nugget and couldn't be prouder of himself

genuinely thinks the song is an actual banger and has it saved as a sample for a potential title track

hyunjin ★ "donatella VERSACE"

only types like THIS 💜 and felix and seungmin are the only ones who get it

chan finds out and secretly changes his name in a groupchat with their managers and staff to "hwang HYUNJIN 💜"

he is tired but donatella is not

his gag christmas present for secret santa is boxers with ms versace herself covering his chocolate starfish and he has a wardrobe malfunction while wearing them at a show and EVERYONE sees

is actually really embarrassed when he has to explain what it means to her and she just nods and tries to smile with all her botox

after this she comments it on all her posts and he accepts that he’s never escaping it

jisung ★ "jiafei 'in my head' remix" (floptropica)

this man is always singing his lungs out in every skz code and somewhere along the way he saw an edit of him with jiafei's vocals in the bg

was actually impressed by her vocal skills and tried to hunt down her ig page, ends up on some fake floptropican fanpage but he doesn't know this because he has minimal survival skills

dms some loser message like "wow your voice is sooooo nice haha...i also like to sing lol...so do you like korean boys haha..."

owner of the jiafei fan account is a stay and thinks this is hilarious and catfishes the hell out of him for WEEKS, sends vocal edits and jisung unironically eats them up, he def sends back vms of him doing vocal covers to impress her

felix hears him singing a jiafei remix one day and almost shits himself laughing, jisung gets angry and defensive until felix reveals that jiafei is literally a meme

realises he's been catfished

blocks the account and gets sulky whenever any floptropican edit pops up on his fyp, but still sings the jiafei remixes quietly to himself (some habits are hard to break)

felix ★ "oi oi oi...baka" (freaky larvae)

recreates it and everyone takes it seriously and he has to make a video telling everyone it was not in fact a thirst trap

breaks up serious arguments like "we need to calm down...you're all being a bunch of...heh...bakas..."

searches it up one day to see if there's any other lore and accidentally discovers a yagami yato audio and gets traumatised

seungmin gets fed up by felix constantly repeating it so he comes up with a master plan and during one of their japan concerts says "oh, felix has been practicing his japanese lately...what's that thing you keep saying?"

i feel like he'd perfect that freaky expression and everyone is sick of him and changbin for randomly using them

picks larva on his turn to choose something for movie night and everyone comically (see what i did there) groans and gets up while he’s just there cracking up

seungmin ★ "saddam hussein hiding spot"

this guy saw a 'saddam hussein hiding spot' comment under jeongin's post and fell down the rabbithole (or rather, the entrance covered in bricks and rubble)

thinks its HILARIOUS because it's a historically accurate meme (nerd!)

definitely whispers it every single time he sees someone or something laying down and everyone is so fed up with it, also gets felix to do the voice since he can imitate it perfectly

uses it as an excuse to randomly start lying down during dance practices and when everyone complains he just says "why am i lowkey serving saddama hussein hiding spot?"

he'd take this shi so seriously like he'd be doing the math to figure out how much time to spend on each app each day so he can make his daily screen time average look like saddam hussein JUST to make the reference

jeongin ★ "that feeling when knee surgery is tomorrow"

someone makes a comment about how they tore their acl and have to get knee surgery and he goes "that feeling when knee surgery is tomorrow" and starts laughing

it wasn't very funny to said someone

probably has to make one of those formal instagram apology posts because of it (he sets the music as the bg for the original post but his manager makes him delete it and post again)

fake falls at practice and when everyone crowds around him all worried he says he feels like he might need knee surgery tomorrow and gets kicked out of the room

pays an insane amount of money to get everyone matching knee surgery knee pads for practice and absolutely loses it every time someone actually needs to use it and has no other choice

posts a fake hospital pic with “do NOT get your knee surgery from shein !!” on his secret account

asks for permission to change his pfp to the grinch and considers outing jyp when he gets told no

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dreamsteddie · 3 months ago

Text

I'm sick, I'm languishing, I'm wearing a blanket in 70 degree heat, and I've been watching The Price is Right on loop since 10 AM.

Anyway, related to my previous posts (here and here), Eddie goes on tour for a couple of months and while he's away, Robin and Steve take a cross-country road trip on a whim to try and be on the Price is Right together.

She's glad Eddie was a good partner and took Steve to be on his favorite show, but she's a little offended they didn't bring her with them. She is mostly appeased by Eddie's continuous and vehement denial that Steve was talking about her and not him when Bob asked him about having a special girl back home. No mater how many times she brings it up, he always gets all red in the face and gives some long winded speech about love and being queer in public and coded speech. It's always hilarious.

Anyway, they get bored one day, and Steve has no qualms about using his and Eddie's joint account, even if it's mostly Eddie's money these days, while Steve does charity and volunteer work. So, when Robin asks Steve if he wants to go to California with her and try to get on again, he kind of just shrugs and goes to grab his shoes.

They drive for two days to get there, singing along to their music, eating too much junk food and not drinking enough water. Robin even forces Steve to listen to one of her book cassettes for "enrichment."

When they get to LA they grab a room at a semi-decent hotel (they could afford something luxury but they are so deep in Roadtrip Mode they don't even think about it). Robin lets Steve try on a million outfits that all look the same and makes up critiques and compliments for each of them because she knows her best friend and knows he won't leave until he feels like he's made the 'right' outfit choice. Steve, who still never fully let the outfit thing from last time go, will add this onto his once-yearly rant to Eddie. The man in question will find this equal parts endearing and aggravating.

They wait in line for two hours with the rest of the hopefuls, partake in interviews with PAs out on the street, and get ushered in. With their dynamic and good looks, they were never not going to get in.

It's the mid-90s, but everything is mostly the same as when Steve and Eddie went together in 89'. Some of the curtains are different and some of the small decals have been removed or changed and Steve delights in pointing off each and every minute change to Robin who finds it fascinating. She likes to pose outlandish hypotheticals for why they had to change it. Apparently, the last set of curtains got eaten by a pack of alpacas that broke in after hours. Who knew?

They watch and cheer and give standing ovations and it seems like the show is going to end without either of them being called up. Neither of them are too put out by it, chances are always low that they call your name, but then they go to call up the last contestant and the name is Robin Buckley. It takes a second for them to register what they heard, and the camera pans just in time to see them holding hands and jumping around like children. Robin steps on several pairs of shoes on her way to contestant's row

Bob catches it and ribs her a little about the number of toes she just broke and how she might need to win to pay off some medical bills. She laughs, extremely awkwardly, and they get to bidding. It's a pair of bicycles which she actually loves since her Women's History course last year had a lesson on how the widespread accessibility of the bicycle in Europe and the United States was seen as a "dangerous" gateway into women's liberation and a potential cause for lesbianism due to the shape and placement of the seat.

Steve knows she's been looking for a good bike, and has been given many a second-hand lesson about Women's History from his best friend, cheers extra loud in the audience. They both know she's got this.

Robin guesses the exact right number on the first try and wins that extra hundred. She kind of hates reaching into Bob's pocket to get it, but a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars. She plays Danger Price and wins all four prizes (a secretary, a stereo system, a barbeque, and a fancy-looking clock). She is so extremely smug about the whole thing.

When it's time to spin the wheel, she get's a dollar across two spins and gets the 1,000 dollars, which Steve absolutely loses his head about. The camera pans to him on his feet, clapping and screaming her name. Unfortunately, another contestant does the same and loses in the spin off. Steve is in no way put off by Robin not being in the showcase because he's too busy going on about statistics and average winnings like this is an actual sport.

At the end of the day they pack away all their stuff into the back of Robin's old station wagon, check out of their hotel, and spend a couple of nights in San Francisco before heading back home. It's a miracle no one breaks into their car.

Eddie comes back home about a month later, and Steve just...never mentions it. For how much he loves The Price is Right, he never says a word about their little trip until a week after his return when the episode airs. At first, Eddie doesn't even notice because the camera pans over everyone so quickly. It's not until Steve runs to grab their now cordless phone, an unheard of act for Steve who takes this time of day very seriously, that he even clues in on anything being different.

It's only when he hears Steve talking into the receiver to Robin about "our episode being on" that he cottons on completely to what exactly is happening. The camera snatches a close up of the two of them whispering to each other and clapping when they come back from commercial break.

He nudges Steve with his toe the entire episode just to bother him for not telling him about an entire multi-day trip, but he knows trying to tear his boyfriend away from both The Price is Right and Robin is a lost cause and resigns himself to waiting until the episode ends before they talk about it.

It turns out Steve did call Eddie the night they got back from filming to tell Eddie all about it. Unfortunately, it was one of those nights where Eddie is both in a different time zone and deeply asleep after a performance and he answers the phone half awake and doesn't remember it in the morning, having hummed and agreed in the right places on instinct and only remembers the call as a hazy dream the next morning.

#platonic stobin #the price is right #steddie #background steddie #again #this is an imaginary world where certain particulars about the price is right are not real #stranger things #dreamer speaks #fanfiction #robin buckley #steve harrington #eddie munson #this took twice as long to type as it should have #due to the illness #please ignore the errors #I am unwell

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riding-the-sunset-bird · 5 months ago

Note

Hey!

Since I started playing August last year I'd been lurking on the reddit (since I don't have an account) and always found the posts of the person who was writing "what choices determine Cove's X" so insightful and loved reading them

recently, i played the baxter DLC (still am not over it, it's my most favourite thing ever; i just love our pepe le pew) so I spent a lot of time on the reddit just reading up about him and what others thought bcs i LOVE deep analysis on characters that I've liked and I stumbled upon a bunch of your comments (which again, loved reading!) and I put a name to the comment

found the same username on tumblr and simultaneously found out you were the one who goes into the games files and wrote those posts I loved so, AH! Hi!

hahah my 'fangirling' and backstory aside, right after I played Baxter's DLC I felt like I didn't understand the reasons behind his actions? I know everyone talks about how he has self-worth issues and wanted to just be a memory but I don't get how that all correlated to completely detatching and not wanting to be a part of MC's life? Like did he care at all? If he didn't, why keep your number and the gift you gave him in one of the memories (Sightseeing?). But if he did care, how did he so easily at the beginning distance himself professionally? AND THEN REMINISCE ON ALL OUR MEMORIES TOGETHER BUT GO BACK TO PROFESSIONAL; LIKE WHAT WAS THE INTENTION

I feel like it is such a stupid question since it seems like everyone else gets it and the game explains it so many times but I just did not get it 😭

so if you could! could you help me understand it a little better? (and if you have talked about it before, no pressure to rewrite it all here I'd happily read another post of yours about it if you could kindly link it!)

i hope that makes sense haha, hope you have a lovely day and genuienly THANK YOU for what you do with your blog! its so great and even if you don't answer this ask i will LOVE reading everything you still put out!

-jaycee <3

*ahem*

Firstly--AAAAAAA >//////<

Thank you so much!! I do my best to help out so people can understand the code, and at times I just see it as something fun for me. So, when people enjoy them as well, it makes me so happy~

Also, I'd be delighted to answer your questions about Baxter! His DLC is absolutely packed so I get that sometimes it's hard to absorb it all. You asking someone for "help" and wanting to understand (rather than simply giving up or writing the DLC off) is admirable, honestly, not something to feel stupid about!

For me personally, I do believe that there are layers to it, and I'll try to do things in a different enough way/simplify them linearly in case that might help. Included will be quotes from the game to help things flow best.

All that said, let us now go on this journey into Baxter's mind together! ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

(note that this got so long that I put a TL;DR/summarized version at the end, I just thought it was important to go into as much as possible; I also have a Reddit comment here that has a smaller/quoteless explanation)

Childhood and Early-to-Mid Teens

Let's take this chronologically. Picture a young Baxter Alexander Ward all the way back in Golden Grove. He's a rich boy with rich parents, and by rich, we're talking really rich. What already is so much to an adult is virtually limitless in the mind of a child, and it earns him a certain reputation amongst the population. Everyone knows the name of the Mr. and Mrs. Ward's only child, and it makes him extremely popular.

However, that doesn't mean he has true company, especially as his neighborhood situation is quite the opposite from the MC of either Our Life version, who are given one or two easily-accessible friends depending on the game.

"The land my family home was built on… I suppose you could call it somewhat remote. It's a fair-sized estate, situated a little ways off from the rest of the town. So, until I moved into college dorms, I'd go as far as to say that I'd never had neighbors before."

In other words, there's no one around his age nor does he have a sibling to play with. This isn't a big deal at first, given that he's young, innocent, and raised where anything he wanted was in his parents' budget. He's expected to act a certain way, certainly, but he can't understand the idea of needing anymore than what he has: he's the cute rich boy that has "everything" and that every kid wants to be close to.

So much so that it gives him an ego about it.

"What I do distinctly recall is that as a child I unequivocally thought I was better than other people. That those who met me were lucky, and I could pick anyone I wanted as company. The onus was on everyone else to impress. "If someone was boring or maybe I just didn't like the colors they were wearing that day, I could find a new playmate, easily. After all, I had the most to offer. "Naturally, what I was 'offering' was what my parents had. A big, cool house, exciting outings, the best toys. It wasn't until I was eleven or so when I developed my first stable friends. They might not have been rich like me, but they had their own charms. Those ties couldn't be replaced."

"I loved it when they would come and visit; there was scarcely anything better. They never got over their sense of awe, and I ate it up."

"Becoming attached to other people, especially those people, made me realize what I'd believed wasn't true. And it was so obvious. They were wonderful. I felt things I never had before. "All it took was being who they were. It didn't matter what their parents did. No fancy venue could top genuine comradery with their company. "And for whatever reason, I was in the club, and I was happy. The person who was lucky to be there was me. "I had wanted my friends to feel the same way towards me. To have that kind of incredible effect on another person for no reason other than that I was Baxter."

Thus, the confident boy Baxter sees in the mirror everyday, like a framed painting of the kind of person everyone wants to be, becomes distorted. Kids didn't flock to him because he was "Baxter," but because he was a rich boy who could wow them. He felt that even the friends he did manage to acquire only hung out with him because they were lovely people, because they also were not immune to being awed by his rich boy things, and because he got lucky.

Qiu - who's part of his friend group - being his first crush likely doesn't help matters. It's no longer about his own personal satisfaction, where he shows off and the kids involved do little more than stroke his ego; now there are kids who are the ones offering him something, and it's something he didn't even know he was missing.

This begins the initial spark of self-worth issues for Baxter, and it's a spark that snowballs as time goes on. He doubts himself, he doubts his ability to make his friends happy in the way that they make him happy, and he - when he's fourteen - goes so far as to doubt the impression something as simple as his hair gives off.

"The generous might say I could count it as black, or that it was 'black in the right light' as my parents placatingly put it. "The fact of the matter is that it's a dusty gray."

"Who would notice a color that wasn't exactly black? And why would they care, even if they did? "Me. I noticed. I noticed and it bothered me, so I dyed it. "Was it something I wanted only for my own preference, or was it because I believed if I saw it as an imperfection then that meant everyone else did? "Probably the latter."

(note that this is around the time that an MC might meet him in Soiree and potentially become his second crush)

So now you have a double-edged sword of sorts where Baxter wants to be good enough as he is, yet is actively covering up the parts of himself that he deems as flaws to be corrected.

In trying to craft this "perfect/better" version of himself, he's created a scenario in which he cannot win. Even if said version could make people happy, he is still not the real version of himself and goes on believing that any amount of joy he does create isn't even "him" doing it anyway.

This is already excluding the fact that his parents are *:･ﾟ✧ garbage ✧･ﾟ:* who always wanted him to act a particular way, and he knew they'd take issue with him if they didn't raise him personally.

"They understand care through the lens of control and protection. That's been their way ever since I was young. In that sense, they treat me no different from a child. "But, of course, they are quiet, educated, esteemed, and a tad old. As is their company, most days. That's not the environment to act as a kid. "That meant I've always been expected to behave with the maturity of someone their own age, or perhaps even older, somehow. "A bit of a paradox, isn't it? Do everything as an adult would while getting the respect an infant does."

"They're family and I'm their son. That is what matters at the end of the day, blood related or not. "I'm thankful for that as well. "Now, if I wasn't the boy they raised together in any capacity, then there would be problems."

Even the air of sophistication he has comes from his upbringing (though he's at least made that his own). There's the Baxter he actually is, the Baxter his parents expect him to be, and the Baxter he's trying to build up for himself to be someone he thinks can make those he cares for happy, all things that he tries to deal with himself as if that's at all manageable or healthy for him.

To the surprise of no one, things still aren't perfect. Without a trust that his friends like him simply because they like him, he doesn't realize - or refuses to contend with - the truth of the situation, and the age gap between them starts causing difficulties.

"I was older than all of them. As sheltered as I was, I got along better with kids not quite my own age. Immature as always, hm? "Life changed fast then, and the years between us became more noticeable with every day. I never reached a point where I felt like I knew what I was doing before suddenly, it was as if I didn't belong with them anymore. "That they didn't have time to keep me around with the differences in our schedules and priorities. And I accepted that. So, the friendships ended. We stopped talking as young teens, and I haven't even seen them since I left for college in 2015. "I thought they mattered to me, but when have I done anything for them? Why did I deserve to be liked and included when all I did was want that to happen and abandon them when it didn't?"

Now we're getting closer to the white-and-black-haired Baxter we know as, at the time he leaves Golden Grove, he's just one year away from his visit to Sunset Bird and simultaneously no closer to knowing what he's doing. He's broken off from his old, cherished, and only significant friend group, and now he's all the way on the other side of the country in Virginia by himself.

He's still chaotic, still kindhearted, yet has no clue that he deserves to have the kind of companionship he longs for. In the year of him being at college, he fails to make those kinds of connections, whether intentionally or otherwise.

"Instead, you could say I don't have many friends. I spend the majority of my time on my own, though I do attend parties and other gatherings when I am able. "I do not have anything quite similar waiting for me there. Don't feel bad about that. "It is only to be expected. I did move across the country. It is a fairly common phenomenon for those of us who do. I'm a regular fish out of water, if you will."

"It hasn't been easy to find anyone to reminisce with, not for a while. But then again, I only developed a sentimentality once I'd gone off to college. "I was too young and proud for that sort of matter before then. There wasn't anything in my life to harbor much sentimentality for. I suppose leaving was the catalyst. Isn't it always? "But once that part of my mind had developed, there wasn't anyone around to share the emotions with. My classmates and I… we don't have that kind of relationship."

His parents are also just as controlling as ever, only allowing him to enjoy his semester off from college under their rules and in a place they personally chose and are comfortable with. Baxter, who had no interest in going home to Golden Grove and thus agrees to the terms, can only make himself comfortable by finding his own ways of having fun, such as renting a car despite being underage.

"At a minimum, I can honestly say that I wish that I missed it, if that makes sense. I don't know how you feel about your hometown particularly, but you should at least be able to appreciate that I spent all of my youth there. "I'm not so jaded as to totally discount the place, far from it. But anything I liked about my home wasn't exactly exclusive to that locale. The US is a big country, and there are plenty of beautiful things to see wherever you go. "I've experienced enough to know that much, at least. So no, I don't miss it. And I won't be going back. "If my parents wish to see me, they'll have to be the ones visiting where I am.

"Mother and Father agreed to me vacationing on my own, but under the condition that they would have the choice of where I stayed. "California being fairly close by, and Sunset Bird being so quaint, not to mention our prior excursions to the area, they concluded that this was the easiest way to keep me out of trouble."

Basically, it's all going back to his line about expecting him to behave as an adult whilst treating him like a child. He's permitted to vacation by himself but only in a town as "boring" as Sunset Bird where there would naturally be very few teenagers around his age. His streak for being a bit of a rebel reflects that.

What he doesn't expect is to meet a new group of people and the MC in particular, who unintentionally challenges his negative view on himself.

Step 3

From the very beginning, Baxter takes immediate interest in the MC and Cove, wanting to make one of those "blissful, temporary relationships" that will last the summer. Already, we have something of note, which is the 50/50 success rate he ended up having: MC and Terry were all for the absurdly friendly monochrome man that swooped into town, whereas Cove and Miranda were more hesitant (and thus didn't spend as much time with him) because his directness tended to put them off.

"I care a great deal about what I say and that it makes the correct impression. Yet I am not always successful. My approach is off, really."

"Now, this may be a complete shock to you, but… I've been told that I can come across as a bit too forward. I know. It can be hard to believe. My intent is to be open with people so we can connect. It almost never works out that way, though. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I don't possess a knack for making friends. "It was obnoxiously easy when I was a child. Especially due to that aforementioned big, cool house. But now I keep finding myself at a loss for how to do it. With the hit-or-miss endeavor, the vast majority of the time I come up with a miss."

"And I've never been in a stable, long-term relationship. They've all been brief, and varying levels of disastrous."

Put more simply, Baxter knows what he wants but doesn't understand what people want out of him (believing more that they don't want him at all). On some level, he's flying blind and simply does what he can to put his best foot forward, not wanting to miss opportunities when they present themselves to him. He's someone who likes seeing people thrive and enjoy themselves, and it's even better if he knows that he caused it.

"I live for approval."

Thus, as the "perfect summer tourist" who wants to vacation and have a fun time with those that he can, he seeks to do everything possible to make it memorable. That doesn't mean that he goes out of his way to do things he doesn't want to or portray himself as this person who doesn't even resemble who he actually is, but he puts on an air of not having any flaws that would cause him to be any form of burden to others.

This is even excluding the parallel of a group of four friends that he's involved with yet feels distant from or like he doesn't belong in at the same time; history repeating itself and what not, though in his case it's more like a self-fulfilling prophecy, emphasized by the possibility of him asking the MC out on a summer fling.

"I don't care about what label you'd choose to put to it. I could be your boyfriend, or nothing at all. "And you can also change your mind without consequence, if you find out it's not what you imagined further down the line."

Baxter gives the MC every out he can to make things as convenient as possible for them, not only so that the relationship isn't serious and they don't have to worry about it, but so they can break it off whenever they wish. He knows full well that even the person he's presenting himself as won't please everyone and sets everything up so he can almost anticipate the ending if the MC gets bored with him because he fails to impress.

He's interested in them, attracted to them, and feels that he'll enjoy their company, but he only thinks he can do the same on the short-term; that small amount of time where people are still learning about one another where little else is hoped for beyond good things.

Another way of looking at it is based on Baxter's view of control.

"It might not surprise you to know that I can be a touch… particular. I know the importance of coherence, with individuals acting in a well-coordinated fashion. And I like things to function well-for systems to operate smoothly. "I confess, you could call me controlling, at times. Not with people, but with processes. Especially when it comes to enacting plans. I'd much rather act under my own steam than follow someone else's lead. "I'm only flexible with the personal, not the business, aspects of life."

His relationship with the MC is, on some level, a process. It's something for him to carefully plan out and calculate to make it the best he can for them. Getting more personal would involve him revealing the parts of himself that he finds distasteful and believes the MC will as well.

Of course, he doesn't anticipate growing attached to them, which brings in the "risk versus reward" aspect. This can be seen when Baxter initially agrees to have drinks with the MC in the morning that he hates so much, where the safe option would be to simply postpone until another day, except he wants to spend time with them as soon as possible.

In that respect, it's not unlike him struggling to decide on the type of ice cream he'd like.

"My problem is this: I'm unsure if I should get a dessert that's to my usual taste. If I do, I'd be certain to enjoy what comes from the ice cream truck. That would be nice. "But, on the other hand, this may happen only once. Perhaps it'd be more rewarding to get something new, an option that would be challenging to find in a common store. "Which will add more to the experience? Indulgence or novelty? I want to make the right choice."

However, his risks don't end up panning out well in his mind because he's unable to get past something so minor as forgetting his wallet, when all he and the MC had planned to do was have a nice time at a cafe in Drinks. In his mind, the Baxter he's trying to present had failed, and what else can he do at that point (under his perceived logic) but do what he remembers worked from childhood?

"It's a question of knowing the right people who know the right people. We could have even had full backstage access with the main cast if I'd asked. "I do try not to lean on that kind of thing too much, if you can believe me. I appreciate it might not look like it now. You could say it's a means for me to preserve my sense of independence. It's easy to be popular if you can foot the bill, and I don't want that to be what draws others to me. "But after all that, here I am, leaning on the same old crutch. Nothing has changed since I was six."

"I suppose that was part of the issue. I didn't consider myself appealing enough as a person to be worth the time. So, I wanted the support of an exciting or interesting backdrop for meetups. "But… it shouldn't matter that much where you are if you enjoy who you're with."

Baxter expects perfection out of himself in the same way that his parents expected things out of him, and the limitations follow accordingly. He wants little more than the MC's presence and it is up to him to "repay them" for it. When he was a child, he was the one everyone else had to impress, and now it's the other way around: he has to impress those he wants to be around.

Except he's only human, and aiming to be the perfect person for the MC all summer simply isn't feasible, which he takes with every ounce of criticism one can imagine.

"This whole situation… it's asinine. I haven't known you long enough to be causing this kind of trouble. I'm quite literally a stranger. And I won't even be here long enough for that to change. As welcoming as you all are here, that can't be forgotten. "This was-I was-only ever supposed to be a part of the fun. A worthwhile piece of summer scenery. Someone who added to the experience, not held it back. You shouldn't have to baby me! To sit there and spend your time making me feel better when I don't keep it together. "The mess I am in the mornings, the drama I cause in the evenings: the person I am when the show is over. Those aspects shouldn't be any of your concern. I don't provide that support to you, do I? And how could I when I don't know you? "No. It's not fair to make you worried or, worse, guilty over what happens to me. What matters is that when we're together it's for the pleasant parts of existence. The less ideal shades of life can be managed separately. "That's all I wanted."

Two things to note as well is that he'll say all of the same dialog even if he and the MC have experienced Hang or Planning (where Baxter can comfort them), and there's a dialog path in Sightseeing (i.e: the moment most players will play first) where he'll openly say that he hopes they count for "more than strangers."

(He's additionally rejected the idea that he knows the MC despite relishing every given opportunity to listen to the MC babble about even the most mundane things.)

So not only will he deny to himself that comforting the MC was worth enough to count (or unintentionally block it from his mind), but when it comes to things becoming more personal, suddenly he's "just a stranger/near-stranger." The MC can be comforted when they need it but not him, and he's just some nobody tourist when it comes time to put any value on himself...

whether that be the simple things like driving everyone around, to the stuff that takes effort to notice like him seeing that the MC wanted to ride in the passenger seat, to the more complex like literally saving Miranda's entire birthday party.

"I couldn't have devised a more pleasant way to spend my time here, even if I tried. And to be frank, I have tried. I didn't come to Sunset Bird totally devoid of any plans or ideas. "You and your friends have invited me to participate in an event with great significance to you. It's a profound gesture to show to a relative stranger. "When it's over, and I'm long gone from here, I hope you can all look back on this party for years to come-maybe for the rest of your lives-and treasure the memory. "And if I am a part of that memory, then that is satisfaction enough. Though perhaps I'm in danger of giving my contribution too much credit."

A hypocrite (I say this affectionately, I swear) of the highest order; there are rules for himself and no other rules for everybody else. The things he does are never enough whereas everyone else does plenty by simply existing and giving him the time of day.

Leaving the way he does with no contact and little hope of seeing each other again is the inevitable result of the process he'd put together for his time with the MC and his summer at Sunset Bird. From the beginning, he's had a time frame to keep to, an intent to not get attached, an expectation that no one would get attached to him, and an idea that he would leave as little more than a memory.

"Only lately it's been different. Incredibly different. I almost worry my luck won't last. It will all be over soon. "I wish… I could stay."

Except he does get attached, just as the MC gets attached to him (in what he can admit in Step 4 is the most stable relationship he's ever been in), and now all the control he feels he had goes out the window. That's why he has the potential to get upset if the MC keeps pushing his buttons by questioning him.

"I would've preferred it to have been an enjoyable time having my company while I happened to be here, that was the intention. It seems I've ruined that on the whole. I accept the blame for that. If I had behaved better this wouldn't have come to a close on such an abhorrent note. "However, I am not an irreplaceable part of your life. I was a tourist, a novelty. And now I'm not even that. So don't bother with this."

To him, everything is so obvious: he got "lucky" getting to hang out with his Golden Grove friends, who were simply so nice that they continued bothering with him at all despite his flaws. Considering how that ended, he expected the same where no one would bat an eye if he left.

The MC trying to hang onto what they have isn't a sign that he had done anything right, but that the MC is being their sweet, considerate self in thinking about him. He's had at least five years of criticizing himself, of trying to make people happy yet downplaying it when he does, that everything the MC says goes in one ear and out the other.

"I heard you then and each reasonable suggestion to salvage the situation, but I brushed you off as if you were the one being dramatic. Or that you were lying."

At some point between having his Golden Grove friend group to now, his priorities had changed. He'd given up on having true value to people and instead focuses on creating moments (an appropriate word to use given how the game works) with them. It's a natural progression from not believing he's important to not believing he could ever possibly be.

Even basic traits he does have that one will likely see as something to adore, he won't attribute to himself.

"Now, I do admit, though, that isn't what one might call a grand love story. It's simplicity itself. "I'm not the most romantic or sentimental person in the world. I know that can be at odds with my formality, yet it's the way I am."

He'll say he's not romantic nor sentimental while being one of the most romantic and sentimental people in the game, so either he's unaware of it or refuses to associate positive words like those with himself. On the flip side, he can falsely associate others with credit for things they've done without acknowledging the finer details that might negate his point.

For example, in the Wedding DLC, Baxter gives so much credit to Cove for "staying" and "trying" without understanding that Cove didn't have a choice on whether to stay or leave the MC initially due to still being a child (who absolutely would have left and in fact did try to leave in the Step 1 DLC). He's also one of the few characters who doesn't consider Cove "clingy," probably because he's just as clingy if not more so.

By unknowingly projecting his self-hatred onto the MC's view of him, he's come to the idea that the MC has already gotten as much out of the relationship with him as possible without things completely falling apart, and daring to want anything further is his own self-interest/ego getting to him.

It's even to the point of deciding that everything is his fault if the MC kissed him in Planning when they weren't dating.

"I must apologize for that. I shouldn't have done it. Even at the time I knew I shouldn't have. That was a bad idea. One that only managed to complicate our relationship further. "I shouldn't have involved you in more of my selfishness."

So his conclusion in the Step 3 ending is that he's lost no matter what and genuinely cannot comprehend the idea that he had done anything right for the MC to want to stay in contact with him.

If the MC contently accepts separating from him, then that proves to him that he isn't someone worth sticking around for. If they instead get upset or want to stay in touch, then he has somehow done something wrong in the way he went about things and presented himself. It all goes back to being a scenario he's set himself up not to win.

"In short, what I'm saying is that I'm a fraud in all regards. You can't take any of it seriously, including what color my hair is."

"I don't deserve to have that kind of relationship with another person. That's why. I don't contribute anything. "Maybe I can impress others for a time, but how do you go beyond that? I can't say what it means to be significant as a person, to be irreplaceable. "And since I don't have the answer, I certainly wasn't going to assume I'd do it by accident. What does it take to add value to someone simply just by being there? I tried, but I never knew. "In my eyes there's a world of humans living freely among one another, while every connection I create is so fragile. If I make the wrong step I might hurt them, or be hurt myself, and if it's strained at all it will break entirely."

The sad part of it is that it makes sense, in a way. The things he did for the MC - baring perhaps that damned chocolate fountain - were almost effortless to him. He wanted to do them, so why would he think he did anything special?

One of the very few times he's willing to talk in any way bad about another is only if the MC uses Jude and Scott's relationship as a reason for why they could keep in touch. That's when his cynical side comes out.

"Of course, my rather reasonable prediction is that it will not last. Most relationships don't."

As things were that summer, Baxter viewed the MC as someone he would love to know, but not someone who wanted to know him because he doesn't think he's likable; that the slightest inconvenience to them - to anyone - would make him not worth keeping in touch with any longer. The MC also has friends who have been around longer than him, and he's never considered that he could have any role amongst them.

Tempting fate was never his intention, yet that's exactly what he does in believing they'll never meet again, drawn together as if the longing makes them magnetic to each other.

Step 4

As is standard with the inevitable passage of time and growing older, Baxter is slowly finding himself and improving as a person over the five years that he and the MC are apart. Some things change and others stay the same, whether for better or worse.

Though, any positives aren't particularly noteworthy to Baxter himself.

"I can say that I've improved some talents over the years and found a less eye-catching sense of style, but for anything meaningful there's been no growth."

Due to his self-worth issues, he never thinks what he does is good enough and is wholly focused on where he's yet to improve upon, even though he is fully aware about the parts of himself he has worked on.

"You don't need to worry. I'm not quite as sensitive as I used to be about mistakes. I will survive this, pride as wounded as it may be from these trials and tribulations."

"Part of the tragedy of adult life is learning to roll with the punches, so to speak. I suppose I should be proud of the fact that I can at least handle it much better than when I was younger. "Thinking about what kind of panic a younger Baxter would have been thrown into at the prospect of a missing shirt on an important day-"

Under that lens, it doesn't matter what he does or how he deals with the issues he feels are a burden to himself and/or others; there's always an asterisk - that he's attached to them - to act as a "yes, but..."

"I'm fortunate that thanks to my upbringing I happen to be well acquainted with formality and what it takes to authentically achieve it for an event. It's a unique kind of direct experience to wield. "Additionally, I deal well with the high level of control and detail-work one must take in a stressful event. "When it comes to work, I absolutely can make decisions. It's only in my personal life where I lack conviction. "And that's most suited in bursts with different people rather than a long-term position in a consistent group. You can easily get sick of someone who needs everything to be 'just so'."

Similar to the weddings he involves himself with as he graduates and gets a career as a wedding planner, there is an ideal final product to work towards, but one he could never conceivably be happy with because he's already starting from a place of seeing himself as someone worthless as an individual. It shapes said final product into something entirely unrealistic, never mind completely unachievable.

As for figuring out a life for himself, that goes hand-in-hand with where he ultimately chooses as his first place to live: Prism Vista City, which Mr. "Definitely Not Sentimental" ends up getting attached to.

"This, ahem, particular location was intended to be only a starting point. I was coming from the complete other side of the country, and I at least knew I enjoyed the area. "I expected to relocate once I had my bearings. It wasn't my intention to linger where I might not be welcomed. "But who could've guessed it was harder to pack up and leave everything behind once you had silly things such as an 'actual apartment in your own name' and a 'real career' tying you down? "Weeks passed, then months, and then, perhaps inevitably, I came face to face with one of the reasons I developed such a positive outlook on this state to begin with. "You know, it never ceases to amaze me. California is directly beside Oregon. I could practically walk there if I was industrious, and stupid, enough. "Despite that, being here is a wholly different experience than what I had being raised in the neighboring state. "Sometimes it seems as if I'm still a tourist. That I don't belong here, and everyone who passes by can smell the otherness on me. "Other days, I have the confidence to think I've found my own place in the world…"

That's one thing that never changes about Baxter in virtually all of his life: the desire to simply belong somewhere. What does change is how he approaches that want.

He wanted to belong with his Golden Grove friends, but fell out with them due to the circumstances and chalked it up to a failure on his part. When he wanted to belong with his Sunset Bird ones, he'd already decided himself that it would never happen to save him from any potential disappointment, and that simply being there for a summer would be enough.

In adulthood, he's given up on such things entirely. No more friends, no more flings, and even his most consistent contact - his parents - have been cut out of his life (though in the latter case, it's for the better).

"What happened, I do exactly… that to everyone who unfortunately crosses my path. "The acquaintances I made at college, dancing partners, the friends I had since childhood; my parents, though, that is an entirely different story. "The point of the matter is, excluding those I interact with regularly due to work, I have no relations whatsoever. That's simply the way it goes."

"To start, I haven't spoken to my parents in, mm, a few years now. That's what I meant when I included them in the list of relationships I haven't maintained. "Don't worry. It isn't a painful topic for me, exactly. Mostly I find it… disappointing. Frustrating? Certainly awkward. "Before I cause too much concern, they've never done anything to intentionally hurt me; my parents have always cared for my well-being. "And I can't deny how much they have done for me - all the opportunities and advantages I had because they provided them. They gave me the best they knew how and- "This is not as nuanced as I might be making it sound. "What a novelty it would be if I could speak favorably of my own family. Can you imagine? "That's not the case, however. "What I am trying to say is that my parents are, on the whole, good to me. And they do love me as their child whom they raised for nearly two decades. "Just as I still feel compelled to give them credit for the minimum, I'm certain they're telling their acquaintances endless excuses for why I'm so distant and unagreeable with them. "They haven't given up on me, in their own way. "But all that does not make them good people. "I can assure you that because they are not good people. I'm merely a rare exception to the unpleasantness. "My parents are selfish- they're sheltered. Even as adults."

"Imagining myself as not their son and not someone they loved seemed meaningless at the time. They did love me and that's what mattered. "Of course, it's not always enough, is it? "If I wasn't theirs, either through birth or adoption, if I was someone else's son, they… would hate me. "I know I'm foolish, on many counts. It took me a long time to realize that them being hypocritical shouldn't reassure me the way it did. "Baxter Ward could have as many 'shortcomings' or 'problems' as he did and it'd be fine because it was 'different' in that case. There were reasons, can't you see? "But they couldn't see that other people deserved the same kind of understanding. "And that some things weren't 'problems' in the first place…"

The true tragedy of it being that it's heavily implied that Baxter's parents did attempt to teach him or at least act in a way that would lead him towards a life without any meaningful relationships, which is what he got when he became an adult but not ever what he truly wanted.

"And their nonsense priorities and concerns are what my parents expected from me! "How ironic that I can finally see the silver lining of my lifelong struggles thanks to them. "If I never realized how poor my connections were, or if I never cared that my relationships were nothing more than associations based on conveniences, maybe I'd have been who they wanted."

Arguably, Baxter is at the most "successful" place in his life: he might not be rich anymore, but he's making his own money with a job that suits him, he has a nice apartment, and he's living comfortably.

Except he's not happy, and convinces himself that it's as good as he's ever going to get. It's both the highest and lowest point of his life.

"Of course, I wouldn't be able to understand the viewpoint of someone willing to commit themselves to another person for the rest of their life. "It's what makes for a good planner. I can get invested just enough in the premise to truly create something special, but I'm not attached to the real relationship. "And I'm not disappointed when it's over. "It's been years since I was careless enough to be hurt by anything. "I'd given up on trying for more than what I already had. Then I told others, and myself, that meant I was always content. But honestly, it made me bitter. "I didn't become the person I wanted to be. I didn't achieve the kind of life I'd hoped for."

He couldn't even maintain his relationship with dance, something he'd adored since he was young and now limits to lessons given to wedding couples.

"In a way, I fell out of love with that passion. "It became tedious and unsatisfying to do it with complete strangers, and I didn't have enough hours in a day to dedicate to a long-term competitive partner any longer. "But perhaps I should've tried harder not to give it up entirely. "How embarrassing… even my choice of hobby revolved around having a serious and understanding relationship with someone else. "The precise matter I've had a lifelong struggle to obtain."

As for the MC, Baxter misses them desperately, but goes about his life as though he doesn't. He's committed to viewing himself as someone who doesn't deserve them and that what he did was the right thing to do.

It would seemingly be "easy" then to let go of anything that reminds him of them, in hopes of either limiting the times that he finds himself thinking back to those moments or steering himself towards moving on, but he can't.

The MC's souvenir (if they gave him one)...

"I am fond of it even now. I've never been able to part with it. But isn't that what souvenirs are for? Keeping for the long term? "I'm being entirely reasonable for holding onto that after thoroughly leaving everything in Sunset Bird behind."

Their number...

"I had your number all along. "Of course, I never looked at it over the years we were apart, but didn't have it in me to delete it either."

Even the khaki shirt he wore during Mountain (if he and the MC were dating at the time and they invited him up to their room)...

"It remains my stolen property to this day."

He keeps all of them, unable to let go of the feelings the MC caused within himself but locking them deep inside rather than addressing them. He has the very method for contacting the MC at any time to reconnect, to explain himself, to apologize, to confirm or reject his own doubts over what happened, but he doesn't out of fear.

"I said it before- my concern was protecting my own feelings. Anything I did to that end felt justified. "The more time and experience let me reflect on my actions, I only became more convinced I should stick to my word and not trouble you further."

"I've also missed you over those five years. "And Terry and Miranda and Cove and that summer in Sunset Bird, but mostly, it was you who I thought of. "During that trip, I did feel wanted. "You made me feel wanted. And… important. "It was exciting and amazing, and felt impossible it could last. The shine would wear off eventually, as always. I didn't want to see it happen. "What if I seemed pathetic for being attached to people I met on a short vacation? You had your real group of friends who lived with you there already. "Or what if you stopped responding to me after realizing I wasn't that interesting? Or why would I have even assumed there'd be a reason to talk to me at all once it was no longer convenient? "I'm aware that's not a kind way to view you, but it wasn't that you'd done something to make me believe it would happen. It's my viewpoint for every situation."

Baxter never once thinks that the MC is a bad person, simply that he is the problem and even the best of people will "understandably" lose interest in him if there's any interest to begin with. As someone who likes control and has been conditioned to stray away from more personal relationships, it's advantageous to him to remain in his self-sabotaging mindset.

It's what he's used to.

"I can't afford to flitter off on vacations whenever the mood strikes the way my parents can, but I have a very comfortable existence. "It's nice, if lonely. "Of course, let's not pretend I have anyone to blame for that other than myself. I ended every relationship I had with my own actions. "It's the story of my life. I want to be liked, but I don't want to be important. "A suitor for a season, the planner at a wedding- it's that kind of role I'm comfortable in. "Perhaps that's why I'm drawn to people who are wanted by everyone else. They don't need me. I can be someone, I can't be 'the one'."

So when his Step 4 begins and the MC unexpectedly shows up back in his life, five years after Baxter expressed confidence that they would never meet again, he can barely handle it. Without his say so, he's being confronted with feelings that haven't faded, and ones he already thinks are ridiculous of him to have considering how short of a time he'd known the MC.

The best he can think to do is to put on an air of professionalism and brush the rest off. He'd already left, not contacted the MC for so long, and had remained determined to never see them again, so he doubles down on it.

"I'm merely an employee of your friends. Please feel free to ignore me entirely."

However, it's not tenable, because Baxter has never been someone with the impulse control to keep him in check. Even in the few days he knows that the MC will be around and then leave afterwards, holding himself back from doing what he wants isn't something he can keep up for that long.

In front of people like Jude and Scott who he doesn't know, it's at least easier, but around someone like Xavier who he has some form of friendlier relationship with (only a day after he'd conveyed to himself and the others that he's nothing more than the wedding planner), he's already dropping stories about the past.

"As soon as it comes to you it appears my reason goes out the window. Along with much of my dignity. "But that is how it is."

"Enjoying myself in your presence is the most natural thing in the world. Frustratingly so, at times. I find myself letting go of more than I intended to."

It's also not that Baxter doesn't want to talk to the MC because, if the MC tries to get him to talk during the ride back from the bakery, he deliberately makes it a game of rock-paper-scissors that they'd be guaranteed to win if they wanted to. He could've shut them down entirely if he didn't care, but he finds a middle ground of technically not agreeing outright while still letting the MC talk to him.

"The petty types of decisions that were best suited to be decided with randomness mattered little to me. "It was far more amusing to see who would use the advantage they had to win and who would be willing to take the loss, and why they seemed to do so. "At the bare minimum I'm not that much of a brat any longer. "As an adult, I use it mainly to get away with not making decisions of my own. Whoever is playing with me has the responsibility to win or lose because what they're up against is preordained. "I don't even need to choose which symbol my hand takes. It's easier that way."

Not that it means he's alright with it either. Baxter is already under the stress of planning a wedding in a matter of days and now has to deal with seeing the MC again, sometimes one-on-one. He doesn't want to be cruel to them, doesn't want things to be so difficult, nor did he want the MC to be "forced" to go with him to the bakery (on a suggestion he couldn't have known would lead to it), but that's what ends up happening.

"I'm not any less immature than I was five years ago, it seems. I've been incredibly rude to you, and that is inexcusable. "You're not unwelcome near me. Of course not. "However, I'm here to plan Jude and Scott's wedding. My priority is that only, and I don't want to get caught up in anything else. "There's no need to reminisce. I hope that's not insulting, it's honestly not meant to be a strike against your character. "You are a lovely person and have many wonderful friends. You don't need me to be an active part of your life."

"I apologize for what happened between us, I honestly do regret it. "I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry I was unable to keep my word and have bothered you yet again. "I'm thoroughly humiliated and have attempted to get in your way as little as possible. Though I'm unable to quit outright; I couldn't do that to Jude and Scott. "We are both aware that I am fully incapable of making you happy. But in four days you'll return to your life blissfully free of my presence in it. "Please tell me, what can I do for you? I simply don't know…"

It feels terrible for him, but this is the cycle he's gotten himself into: wanting to stick to what he'd done in Step 3 under the belief that the MC would be better off without him, feeling nostalgic for the past to the point where it ends up coming out, behaving distantly as a result and hating himself for it, then apologizing just to do it all over again because he's constantly going against what he actually wants.

"Every time I'm arrogant enough to believe I know what I'm doing and that I'm in control- I don't and I'm not."

"From the moment you walked into that restaurant, my actions were nothing but self-preservation and damage control and, occasionally, reminiscing to an extent I was pleased with. "Yes, I had a 'professional commitment' not to let personal matters impede the work that needed to be done, but my distancing went far beyond that. "In the end, I was using their marriage as an excuse. "If not for that, then there would have been something else. Some trivial reason for keeping you at arm's length. That likely doesn't shock you."

Baxter is essentially shielding his heart from the very thing that would protect him from his own attacks on it. He goes so far that he considers texting the MC directly to be overstepping boundaries (even if it's for work), all after continuing to let go the most whenever he's reminded of times with the MC.

He's aware that he's attached and readily admits as much when it comes time to.

"Even I can admit I wouldn't do this for every client. "And somehow, that makes this worse. It's painfully obvious I have some personal investment, enough to merit this. "More than I intended to be. More than I ought to have. "I wouldn't have done this if you weren't here… "Even though Miranda was the client's sister- "I wouldn't have offered. It'd be overreaching, to do as much as I have. "I've gone beyond the line of pure professionalism more than once already. The cake is the icing on top."

"Well, naturally, it's against my better judgment to make anyone uncomfortable. "Of course, in such a tight spot Jude wouldn't have questioned any help he was offered. "But what would Miranda have thought? And Terry as well? If some strange man they knew long ago was getting that personally involved in their situation? "I wouldn't have crossed that line, no matter how much sympathy I had for Jude's position. "So, where did my confidence come from? Very simply- I thought you would understand. "That I had good intentions, that the odd lengths I went to was merely how I am, that it was okay to let me be involved. And if you did understand, everyone else would as well."

Deep down, he knows that he is not a stranger; that he knows the MC and trusts them on a level deeper than he thought possible before meeting them. The MC brings out the best in him while simultaneously revealing the most vulnerable parts of himself to himself, which gives him all forms of conflicting emotions.

"I… "It's odd, really. I'm the one who left. "And yet I haven't stopped seeing you as someone important to me. Important in my life. "It truly does seem as though everything I did was for no reason at all."

"It's been hard not to feel nostalgic, this past week. We've had quite a stroll down memory lane. Sometimes by happenstance, sometimes because I went out of my way to do so. "I have… fond memories of those days in Sunset Bird. Treasured memories. "Like most treasures, they're things to be taken out and admired from time to time, and then put away again. "Though, some are too delicate for even that. They should never be touched. "This evening is a reprise of something I never wished to relive."

To put it in another way, though Baxter cherishes the time he spent with the MC, anything that brings him back to such times confront him with everything he's tried to avoid.

Yearning for the things he'd tried to put behind him, the what ifs of things going differently, and the doubts of all he's done thus far based on his own conclusions...

"Back then, during my tourist phase, we took that brief trip to the mountains. On a hike, we passed a tree that had fallen across a stream. "If you can picture that, it was as if we were on opposite sides, and I couldn't take the path to you because it looked risky."

Not unlike his fear of the ocean, Baxter's biggest hurdle is that final step past the point of no return: taking the plunge and trusting in his ability to survive.

"It seems endlessly deep and unpredictable, with powerful waves and rapid currents. "And there are creatures lurking in there. Some of them are larger than me. It's unfathomable. You don't play with something like that. "If I enter that water, I'll never return from it. The ocean will swallow me whole. That's what I think."

It's only by the end of the wedding reception that he finally crosses that line and has the epiphany necessary to deal with everything that had happened: the opening of the oven to check the result of a baked cake rather than leaving it a mystery, the flick of the switch to look at a room he'd always kept in darkness prior, and the throwing of himself into deep water and realizing he can still breathe.

"In the past, I spent every moment around other people thinking of the limited span of our acquaintance. As if I wasn't seeing them at all, only the imminent departure. "Our arrangements fell in line with that. A clear timeframe, limited from the outset; predetermined rules set in stone. "It was that way five years ago. It was that way now. "We'd cooperate for a short period in service of Scott and Jude's wedding, and that would be that. I've said as much myself. More than once. "The problem is, as I only recently realized… "I forgot about that. "You see, I thought, completely and earnestly, that I didn't need to speak with you now, here, when I was feeling so… sensitive. "We could simply pick up where we left off later tonight or tomorrow. The fact that we no longer had a 'reason' to interact didn't come up as part of the consideration."

When he wasn't the one setting the rules, when he was the one caught off guard by someone he cared so much about reappearing into his life, when he was forced back into reliving past regrets and under the pressure of facing them all over again when their second/third time together was over, that ended up being when he found what he needed to talk to the MC. That was when he finally had to listen to what his heart was saying rather than constantly denying himself.

Perhaps even most importantly, that was when he had to face the fact that what he did - the suffering he put himself through for five years - had achieved nothing of value, and it's only through acknowledging it that he can keep it from happening again.

"When I left five years ago, that didn't make me happy. When I kept you at arm's length after meeting again, I was unhappy still. "If it doesn't need to be that way, if I was wrong, then… I don't know, honestly. I've never considered it a viable option until moments ago."

"It had been so long since I'd known what it was like to be included, to be around people who'll refuse to let you be left out, no matter how hard you try to weasel out of it. "Terry, Miranda, and Cove were too kind, but it was your gestures specifically that are at the heart of this matter. "Here's the truth: if you didn't ask me to dance again, in the afterhours of another event we helped create like you did then, it would have broken my heart. "That would mean definitively that I lost what we had. "But… if you did ask it would be more painful. Because that would mean- "It would mean even after everything, you hadn't let me go. That you accepted me still. "That you always would have, that I should've believed that all along, that the only thing I've done was hurt you and myself of my own accord. "It's horrible. I didn't want to know one way or the other."

The uncomfortable truth, a placating lie, or the blissful void of not knowing anything at all: those were the choices he had and he finally chose the uncomfortable truth, all for the closure the MC deserves and the potential prospect of a better future if he can only make it past the obstacles he'd set up for himself.

"But I can see now that I'm also wrong for making another decision for you. Even if the conversation went disastrously, you were owed a better explanation and an apology. "You had never asked me to leave you alone, I created that fiction. "I hope you can accept that I did care for you then- I care now. Of course, as ever, none of it counts for much if it's kept entirely to oneself."

"It's… a little hard to approach what I've sowed over the years. So many mistakes. "And even now, when I hope to make things right, to make things last, I'm forced to admit that I'm ignoring the reality of the situation. "This doesn't come down to what I want at all. I don't have the right to put myself before you. I never did."

"I suppose that is the true story of my life: me not understanding a thing and getting it all wrong at every turn. "But rather than dancing around this, I'll say it directly: not trying to stay in touch with you is something I've regretted for a long time. "I will always regret the days I lost, even now that we've reconnected."

That doesn't mean everything is magically fixed, nor that he won't fall into some old habits. He has to catch himself when he automatically excludes himself from the MC's meeting with their moms, and he'll still be apologizing and criticizing himself long after the MC has forgiven him.

"You've never allowed me to wallow in my misery, except for when you had to. When I made you have to because you couldn't get a hold of me. "But when I see you, I'm reminded of what it is like to be seen. "How it feels to have someone who knows you, cares about you, has memories with you, who wants to make more memories together. "And I tried to undo that- "Twice. By keeping you as far away from me as I could."

"Unfortunately, I've yet to think of a good reason why this admission isn't another of my patently bad ideas. It isn't as though I've been thoughtful in return. "I can't stand doing anything in the morning, even if I can pretend to, for my clients. As you know, I can't afford elaborate trips these days. "My only remaining social contacts are limited to the wedding industry, not performative theatre or owners of fancy cars or the like. "I've never been a good partner, even a good friend, to anyone who has crossed my path."

"My few victories were hollow and I'm still sorry I took that out on you at the start of this."

Nevertheless, he has no desire to run away from the MC now, because he never had a desire to run in the first place. He just needed to understand that it was okay to want, and that he wasn't the worthless person he thought he was so he could stop projecting how he felt about himself onto how people feel about him.

This makes way for Baxter to experience a lot of things that most people would have long since had at that point in their lives: he gets excited simply by having a person hanging out at his house, is incredibly pleased to have someone he can be (dance) with, and he's so amazed that he can have these things in his life that he's actively eager to prove to the MC how much he'll be sticking around, to the point of being ready to visit them at the soonest time possible.

"Hallelujah. Admittedly, a part of me was convinced I wouldn't go through with it. What if you thought I had lost my mind to follow you right after we barely reestablished a connection? "But having this last day together, knowing it was the last, was the final push to pursue what I actually wanted."

His story, essentially, is about a fall from issues of self-centeredness just to pendulum swing into ones of self-worth instead. It's about balancing on a tightrope of bringing short bursts of happiness to others while trying not to let his ego take hold of him again. It's about denying himself what he wants and refusing to hear otherwise before finally recognizing that he deserves to be happy.

That's Baxter Ward.

TL;DR:

Baxter starts as an egotistical child - encouraged by his rich parents and the kids constantly impressed by his showing off - but that changes when he obtains genuine friends and learns the value of real relationships.

Realizing that he'd relied only on what his parents had to make connections with people, Baxter doubts his own worth as a person and is unable to imagine that people would feel differently about him than he feels about himself.

Baxter falls out with his friends due to the age gap and not having time for each other, coming to the conclusion that he'd not done anything for them.

Under the belief that he has no inherent long-term value, Baxter goes on flings and seeks to create fun moments with people rather than anything that would require revealing more of himself than he feels is attractive to others; this has the side effect of making him highly critical of himself over even minor mistakes.

Baxter goes to Sunset Bird meets the MC, who (along with the MC's friends) makes him feel a sense that he might actually be someone important to others, which he then actively tries to convince himself out of due to fear of risks/the unknown.

After leaving the MC on no contact, Baxter continues to miss them, but feels like he would only bother them further if he saw them again even if it were just to apologize.

Baxter ends up seeing the MC again in his Step 4 and is confronted thusly by his unfading feelings. This leads him to try and maintain the distance he'd created in an attempt to protect himself, yet he's unable to keep himself from letting loose every now and then because it goes against what his heart wants to push the MC away.

Though horrified by the idea that what he'd done in the past might have been a mistake and preferring (at the start) to go on without knowing, Baxter ultimately reflects on his actions and acknowledges to himself why he's been doing what he's been doing, and that he doesn't want to let the MC go again without laying everything on the table.

#((When you see how long this post is you'll understand why it took me so long jdfkgdfg.))#step: 3 #step: 4 #dlc: baxter #baxter ward #((100% used this ask as an excuse to dump like 95% of Baxter's Bax-story into one post.))#((Hopefully this all makes sense and I didn't just ramble incoherently fjkgjdfg.))

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thewertsearch · 1 year ago

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TT: You mentioned immortality. TT: Godhood makes one immortal? […] One will live forever, unless killed. The death must be either heroic or just. TT: How are those terms defined? Broadly, mysteriously, and according to the case of the individual. One may be killed by opposing a corrupt adversary and die for a just cause, as through martyrdom, for instance. This would be heroic. Or one may be subject to corruption, and slain by a hero. This would be just.

Heroic Players can die fighting 'corrupt adversaries', whereas Just Players can be 'corrupted', and 'slain by a hero'. There's a clear dichotomy here, wherein 'corrupt' God Tiers are particularly vulnerable to self-sacrificing God Tiers, and vice-versa.

I like it. It's a very mythological way for immortality to work, and it gels well with Sburb's fantasy narrative. Rose's alliance with the Horrorterrors probably marks her as corrupted, so God Tier ascension probably wouldn't grant her true immortality.

The concept is fascinatingly ambiguous, too. Morality is a controversial subject at the best of times, and allowing Sburb to judge the ethics of a Player's actions could get very tricky, very fast. There's no doubt in my mind that Sburb and I disagree vehemently about what constitutes a just cause, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

TT: Which sort of death will you have when I destroy the sun? Neither. I'm not a god. I'm a guardian, a servant, and a weapon. I have power and knowledge far surpassing a god. But I am not one.

First Guardians are considered far more powerful than God Tiers, then. Aradia was able to get the drop on Jack, but Jack's really just a Kernelsprite imitation of a First Guardian. Scratch is far more threatening, especially since his brain isn't scrambled by dog memories.

...that said, his brain might be a little scrambled by whatever was in that HONK code. Who knows what Alt-Gamzee was cooking there.

My master can't enter this universe until I am killed. […] TT: That almost sounds like martyrdom. Are you sure it won't be a hero's death? Quite sure. My master is a very evil man. TT: Who is he? I won't tell you his name. But he goes by the title, Lord English.

About bloody time. This guy’s been sneaking around the back of the story for over two thousand pages, and it sounds like we're finally going to shed some light on this mysterious adversary.

But you must decide which objective is more important. You may decide to attempt to destroy the sun and end my life. This will neutralize Jack, who is also much more powerful and dangerous than myself by virtue of the ring he wears in addition to drawing energy from the same sun as I. He poses a significant threat to reality.

I'm still skeptical about this assertion. What could Jack's other kernels possibly offer that his First Guardian powers don't render obsolete?

Anyway - even if Jack does have better numbers, Scratch is still far more dangerous by virtue of the mind he wields.

TT: But in the process of killing him and you, I release your master, who is just as deadly? He's more deadly. But the danger he poses is sanctioned by paradox space. It is a known quantity. His very existence in a universe will mean it will inevitably be torn apart. But there are rules to his entry, and his grim procession through paradox space is rather orderly. The present equilibrium has accounted for him, and will continue to.

I did wonder if English was part of Paradox Space's natural ecosystem, charged with destroying old universes in much the same way Sburb destroys planets.

Even if he is part of Skaia's ineffable plan, I don't think that should stop us from ending his sorry ass. We might not understand English's motivations, but we do know that his plans destroy anyone unfortunate enough share his plane of reality, and countless lives have already been ruined in Scratch’s quest to bring him out. I don't really care if Paradox Space sanctions his actions - he needs to be taken down, and if that upsets the natural order, then it's time for a new natural order.

Besides, we probably don't even need to destroy the Sun to stop Jack. We have plenty of other angles to work, from exploiting his psychological weaknesses to negotiating with his slightly more reasonable deputy. Additionally, Jadesprite won't be out of action forever, and Jack can't even harm Jadesprite, due to the aforementioned psychological weaknesses. Even if she's inherited Bec's 'don't fight Agents' programing, that doesn't stop her from simply stealing his Ring. She's done it before.

Jack however is a loose cannon. He will not stop until he destroys everything he encounters.

Yeah - to be honest, Scratch, I'm starting to think you're laying it on a little thick, here. Is Jack really the omniversal 'threat to reality' that you're making him out to be?

Let's not get it twisted - I have no trouble believing that he's dangerous to individual sessions. But does he really have the juice to wreak cosmic destruction on the scale of Lord English? His battery is only as strong as a couple of universes, and he has to share it with every other First Guardian in the cosmos.

Plus, the kids can't be the only Players in the multiverse to accidently prototype a First Guardian. I'm sure it's rare, but it can't be once-in-all-the-worlds rare. There should be plenty of other rogue First Guardians floating around Paradox Space - and if they're all enormous threats to reality, then reality should already have been destroyed.

In conclusion: No, Doc. I don't think Jack Noir is an English-tier threat. And for the record, I think there's a much more dangerous First Guardian in this equation than the Sovereign Slayer.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #3630 #s144 #so you're only immortal if you don't take a side. rare true neutral w

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sh1nch1r0 · 1 year ago

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𝖐_𝖊𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖚

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

Baji x Reader

U have a crush on Baji and u find his insta stuff like that…

(ur best friend and u have matching insta names u are called Geto and ur Besties is Gojo)

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

„Do you think thats really him?“ u questione ur Best Friend.

„OMG just request himmm“she says annoyed and tries to take the perfect picture of her parfait.

„U can request him first then i do it“u plead.

„No,thats against the girls girl code“she says and smiles at you.

„Fine…but if anything goes wrong i blame u“u add.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

U make ur way home from ur meet up.

Ur headphones were on and u were listening to ur Favorite Playlist as u heard a notification trough ur ear buds.

•K_eisuke accepted ur request

U clicked at the Banner and his instagram Account pops up.

He has a couple of pictures of cats and his friends in his feed and two story highlights.U look at the highlights they were nothing special either cats or some pictures of his friends with bikes.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

„Did u follow her back???“ Chifuyu asks.

„NO.“ Baji says and looks at the Blonde.

„Whyyyy…..u i tought u like her“he says confused amd Baji gives him a annoyed look.

„Fuyu,shut it…..shes ugly and not my type“the black haired says and looks away.

„HUH do u listen to urself man?“his friend questions him.

„At first u cant stop speaking about her and now u call her ugly…Baji….are u sick?“ this earns him a gentle punch from Baji and so he shuts up.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

It was 00:56 and u were scrooling trough instagram,as u refresh the site u see Baji posted a story.

•K_eisuke mentioned draken_,the.realmikey,and fuyu.matsuno in his story

u click the like button and u see another notification pop onto ur screen.Ur friend mentioned u in her story twice.

•g0joo. has mentioned you in her Story

•Caption:@Get_0 always asleep🫡😀

•U reposted this Story

•U added the Caption 🫥🥱🖕🏻

U swipe to the Second story of her and u see a picture of urself.

•g0joo. has mentioned u in her story

•Caption @Get_0 „DELETE IT I LOOK UGLYYYY“

•U reposted the Story

•Caption DELETE THAT 👽🥹😀

And with that u turn or phone off,u plug in the charger and u get out of bed to do ur skincare,as u return u see a new notification on ur screen.

•K_eisuke has requested to follow you

•U accepted his follow request

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

„Watcha Lookin at“Baji screams at Chifuyu as they wait for the Traffic light to turn green.

„Just looking at her Insatgram Account“Chifuyu says louder so Baji could hear him over the roaring of the Engined.

„Lemme see“he says and tries to catch a glimpse.

„Follow her yourself u prick“Chifuyu answeres.

Baji just rolls his eyes takes out his phone and clicks on the follow back button on your profile.As he puts his phone back into his pocket the traffic light turns green.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

The Night Air was cold and u couldn’t sleep so u stalk his instagram posts and the newest one catches ur eye.

•K_eisuke has mentioned fuyu.matsuno

•Caption 🐈‍⬛Pussy

•fuyu.matsuno has commented When will u get Real Pussy?!

•U liked fuyu.matunos comment

The picture of him was hot,Baji was quiet popular amongst girls but u heard that only a few ladies were accepted in his Instagram Account.

And u are one of them.👹

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

•Get_0 posted and mentioned g0joo.

•Caption My Personal Sleep Paralysis Demon🥹😬

•g0joo commented 😀do i need to save u

•fuyu matsuno liked this post

•k_eisuke liked this post

•k_eisuke commented Did u try giving him ur soul?🐈‍⬛

„See u have a crush on her“Fuyu says beside him

„I do…fuck.“he says quietly.

„Talk to her or text her“the dumb blonde suggests.

„Type Hey or…no type Did u get rid of ur Sleep paralysis demon?…text that“ Baji hates when his Friend tries to set him up but this time he follows his idea.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

•One unread message for get_0

K_eisuke: Did u get rid of ur Sleep paralysis demon?

get_0:Sadly yes he jumped of my bed and left😔

K_eisuke:Thats Bad i am on my way to ur house to save u,is the Demon still in ur house?

get_0:Yes hes making noise in the Hallway

K_eisuke:Will save u:)

get_0:🥹💕

K_eisuke:🩷

2 Minutes pass

K_eisuke:I am outside.Wheres the Demon?

K_eisuke:I expect a Kiss in return for saving u💕😑

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

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strawb3rryg2l · 2 months ago

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How to Lose 'Bob' in 10 Days, Part 4

Characters: Bob x Y/N, Robert Reynolds x Y/N, Sentry x Y/N, The Void x Y/N

Summary: You thought you'd lost, your husband, Robert Reynolds forever. Consumed by the Void and the chaos it left behind. But then you woke up in a world not your own. One where he's alive. Where he goes by Bob. Where he doesn't know you. To him, you’re a stranger. You have 10 days to lose him, before everything falls apart. But the cracks are already forming. Time stutters. Reality bends. And something followed you here, something made of grief, memory, and everything you refused to let die. As you try to lose Bob in 10 days, the world unravels with every lie you tell yourself. You’ll have to make an impossible choice: hold on to the man you love, or face the truth and finally let him go. Because if you don’t... this world won’t just end. You might go with it.

Word Count: 2,479

Warnings: A dark twisted version of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, spooky, creepy, crying, grief, loss, Spoilers maybe? (Please let me know if I should add anymore.)

Note from the author: This is my work, and I will be posting on here and @ strawb3rrygal on Archivesofourown. Keep in mind these are my ONLY TWO accounts. Please feel free to reblog if you like it! I've been working on this one as I write my other fic 'The Temp' which you can also check out if you'd like.

New here? Go back in time -> Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3

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They met outside a tiny bagel shop in the East Village. The kind of place that had “Cash Only” written in Sharpie on yellowing tape, and a guy behind the counter who shouted, “Lox is love, Lox is life!” every fifteen minutes like it was scripture. The place smelled like burned sesame seeds and boiled onions. A rat skittered somewhere behind a recycling bin.

Bob was already waiting, arms crossed, dressed in all black again—black coat, black jeans, black hoodie peeking out like an omen. He looked like a slightly-less-broody NYC tech guy who’d seen the abyss and decided to code it into an app.

“You’re late,” he said, crooked smile pulling at one side of his mouth.

“I had to pick up something important,” she said, and handed him a Build-A-Bear in a tiny tuxedo.

“Meet our emotional support child. His name is Mister Cuddles.”

Bob blinked once. Took the bear like it might be explosive. Gave it a once-over like it was evidence in a crime scene.

Then, deadpan: “Mister Cuddles has your eyes.”

Damn it. That was supposed to be too much. But Bob didn’t flinch. If anything, he cradled the bear more gently than expected, like it meant something.

They ate everything bagels on a sticky bench in Tompkins Square Park. A pigeon stared them down like it had unfinished business. Halfway through her cream cheese monologue (“You have to toast it exactly 90 seconds, otherwise you lose the spread-to-bread ratio and then what’s the point of living?”), she dropped the bomb.

“I’ve been thinking,” she said. “We should move in together.”

He paused. Chewed. Swallowed. “You snore?”

“Violently,” she answered.

“Cool. I’ll get earplugs.”

She stared at him. “Do you… like chaos?”

Bob shrugged. “It’s New York. You have to.”

By Day Six, she was running out of red flags. Nothing worked. Not the fake spiritual awakening, not the red sock sabotage, not the sobbing in Chelsea about a melting swan ("It reminds me of the transience of connection!") or mailing herself love letters signed “Yours in every timeline, Bob.” He didn’t run. He laughed. Worse—he seemed to like her more.

So, she changed tactics.

The haunted walking tour in the West Village was meant to unnerve him. Not because of the ghosts—but because of what they might stir up. She wore her favorite coat, the one that hugged her like a memory, and walked beside Bob through the chilly fog that settled over the cobblestones like a shroud.

Bob showed up in a beanie pulled low and a black wool coat, looking like the ghost of a heartbroken poet. It annoyed her how good he looked in the fog.

“You believe in ghosts?” she asked, stuffing gloved hands into her coat pockets as the guide rattled off a rehearsed spiel about suicides and spectral sightings.

“I believe New York keeps secrets,” he said. His eyes flicked toward a darkened window above them. “And I believe I’ve seen weirder.”

“You ever felt like you’ve been somewhere before, even when you haven’t?”

He looked at her carefully. “All the time.”

The guide launched into a story about a woman in the Gilded Age who leapt from her brownstone window and was still seen pacing the stoop when it rains. Y/N tried to listen, but her head was spinning—not from the story, not even from the cold, but from Bob. Bob, who felt too familiar. Bob, whose warmth made her ache in a place she’d kept sealed off for too long.

And then it happened.

They learned in at the same moment—her to whisper something snarky, him to hear her over the roar of a passing bus—and collided. Lip-to-lip. A second. Maybe two. But warm. Startlingly warm.

She pulled back with a half-hysterical laugh, nearly tripping on the curb. “That was—ha—that was not planned. I was going to make fun of your hat—”

But he wasn’t laughing. Bob looked stunned, like she’d just whispered something in a language he hadn’t heard in a long, long time.

“Did you feel that?” he asked.

She blinked. “You mean my nose slamming into your jaw?”

“No.” He shook his head, slow, deliberate. “There was… something else.”

A shadow flickered in the window behind him.

She glanced up instinctively—and for a split-second, the reflection staring back at her wasn’t hers. It was older. Paler. Wearing the same coat but with eyes not her own. She opened her mouth, then closed it. When she turned back, Bob was already speaking.

“You’ve known me before,” he said, quiet as a confession.

Her stomach flipped.

“You’re being weird,” she whispered.

“So are you.”

They stood there, fog curling around their feet, the streetlamp above flickering in that unnatural way lights do when something is off. Around them, the tour group moved forward, oblivious. The cold pressed in. From inside her coat pocket, a buzz.

One new photo.

She pulled out her phone. It was her and Robert—except she’d never taken this one. She was wearing the coat she had on now. Her arms around his. The background looked like this very street.

Bob leaned closer to see the screen. His shoulder touched hers. A jolt went through her. Not of fear. Of something worse. Recognition.

“Where’d that come from?” he asked.

She didn’t answer. Her lips felt cold, her chest hollowed out.

Because deep down, she already knew.

And then—another whisper. Ancient. Familiar.

“He doesn’t remember you. But he will.”

“D.” That cryptic messenger. That damned voice. It echoed inside her like a bell tolling from another lifetime.

She stepped away from him, panic flaring behind her ribs. The ache, the pull toward him, it wasn’t romantic anymore. It was existential. A cruel, cosmic riddle.

“I’m sorry,” she said, tears rising too fast to stop. “Just give me a moment.”

She turned away from him, away from the fog, from the past clawing at her like fingernails against glass. Her vision blurred. This ghost tour wasn’t just haunted; it was a sick joke. Her ghost walked beside her. Her husband’s shadow. Her grief. And now this man, this Bob, who laughed like Robert, who smiled like hope, was unraveling everything she had stitched back together.

She couldn’t breathe.

The air felt thinner here. Like something was watching. Judging.

She felt Bob reach for her again. She didn’t let him touch her.

Because if he did, she wasn’t sure she’d ever let go.

Y/N's vision blurred at the edges. Her breath caught in her throat and refused to move, like something heavy was pressing down on her chest. The fog around them thickened, or maybe it just felt that way. Her ears rang. Her limbs tingled.

She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and took a few steps back, trying to disappear into the sidewalk. But the feeling wasn’t going away. If anything, it was getting worse. Her heart thudded like it was trying to escape, and her hands trembled even inside her gloves. Panic attack. That’s what this was.

Bob stepped forward, slowly. Not intruding, not pushing. Just… there. His voice came gently, low and grounding. “Y/N.”

She didn’t answer, eyes darting away.

“Hey. Look at me.” She did. Barely. “You’re okay,” he said, voice firm but kind. “You’re here. Breathe with me, alright?”

He lifted his hand, palm up, inviting, not demanding. She hesitated but reached for it. His fingers wrapped around hers, warm and solid. Then his other arm came around her, easing her into a hug. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t performative. It was shelter.

“Just breathe. In for four, out for four,” he said softly. She mirrored him, clumsy at first, but it helped. The fog inside her started to lift.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his chest, voice muffled. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

“You’re overwhelmed,” Bob murmured into her hair. “We all get that way. Even superheroes’… ghost wives.”

She pulled back, blinking. “That was weirdly specific.”

His mouth twitched. “Just a guess.” Then, tilting his head, he added, “Also might’ve been Mister Cuddles who told me.”

A laugh broke out of her throat, sharp and sudden. She wiped at her face, embarrassed, but the smile lingered. “I hate that that worked.”

“I don’t,” he said, mock-solemn. “It’s my greatest achievement to date.”

They stood in a moment of quiet, the haunted tour trudging a few yards ahead. The guide was still droning on about old spirits and gas lamps, but it felt distant. Removed.

Then Bob asked, casually, “Want to ditch this tour and come over to my place?”

Y/N blinked. “Your place?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Just to hang out. We can order overpriced sushi, roast bad Netflix movies. Or you can sit in total silence and judge my throw pillows. No pressure.”

Her mouth opened to say no, too soon, too weird, too dangerous. But before she could speak, something about the way he said it so normal, so him made her ears perk up. Bob’s place. Wasn’t he involved with the New Avengers somehow? Elise had dropped that in a half-sentence earlier this week. A visit could help the article. Fill in the gaps. Explain the mystery.

She tried to stuff the curiosity back down, but it was already rising, hot and flickering.“Only if…” she said slowly, “it’s okay to have me over.”

Bob grinned, that crooked grin again. “Of course it is.”

——————————————————————————————————————-

The apartment was not an apartment.

It was a building. Or at least, a massive, converted warehouse in Midtown with clean lines, gleaming elevators, and a private keycard entrance. The lobby alone had better lighting than most luxury spas.

Bob led her through a secured hallway and into an elevator that required a palm scan.

Y/N whistled low. “This is either very cool… or a very elaborate kidnapping.”

“Bit of both,” Bob replied. “But don’t worry. I only kidnap people with excellent taste in bagels.”

The elevator opened onto a private floor that looked more like a boutique hotel than someone’s living space. Industrial ceilings, exposed brick, wide open living spaces… and framed portraits on the walls. Not just art. Faces.

She paused. Something in her chest clenched. She didn’t know these people, not really, but her body reacted like it did. One of them was Sam Wilson. Another was Monica Rambeau. And then there were others she had seen only in passing reports or Elise’s files.

Ghosts of a life she hadn’t lived. Or hadn’t lived yet.

Bob noticed her staring. “It’s weird, right?” he said gently. “You feel like you’ve walked into someone else’s dream.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Exactly that.”

Before she could ask more, footsteps echoed from the far end of the hallway.

“Well, well, look who finally brought someone home,” a familiar, dry voice teased.

Yelena Belova stepped into view, blonde bob bouncing, holding a cup of something suspiciously glowing. Behind her came Walker, grinning like an overly proud golden retriever, followed by Ava Starr (phasing slightly, like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to be fully in this room or not), Alexei dragging a giant Costco bag of snacks, and finally—

“Bucky Barnes?” Y/N whispered, stunned.

Bucky nodded. “Hello, nice to meet you.”

Yelena laughed. “Bob has told us about you.”

Bob looked down embarrassed and nudged her shoulder. “Everyone, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is the extremely underpaid, mildly dysfunctional, and weirdly attractive New Avengers.”

“You forgot emotionally damaged,” Ava added.

“Oh, that too,” Bob said smiling shyly.

Y/N tried to keep her face neutral. But her mind was spiraling again. Because here they were. All in one place. Not a fantasy. Not a file. Real.

And if they were real, and Bob was one of them, then maybe just maybe she was closer to the truth than she thought.

Bob leaned close, voice quiet near her ear. “You, okay?”

She looked up at him. At the warmth in his eyes. The steadiness.

“No,” she said honestly. “But I think I’m getting there.”

He smiled. “That’s good enough.”

Alexei took one look at Y/N, then turned dramatically toward the rest of the group, arms thrown open like he was about to announce the second coming.

“This,” he declared, “is cause for celebration!”

Yelena rolled her eyes. “Alexei, we already ate. And you’ve been celebrating things all week.”

“Yes, yes,” he said, waving her off, “but this is different. Bob brought someone home. A real live person! With blood and feelings and—” He squinted at Y/N. “—a face that looks like she hasn’t run away yet. This is progress!”

Bob looked like he was either going to laugh or sink into the floor. “It’s not that serious.”

“It is extremely serious,” Alexei insisted. “You never bring people here. Last person you let up here was that delivery guy who cried when you tipped him too much.”

“That was one time,” Bob mumbled.

Y/N blinked. “You… tipped a delivery guy so much he cried?”

“Emotionally unstable man,” Bob said dryly. “And I was drunk. And hungry.”

“I still think about him sometimes,” Ava said from the kitchen. “I hope he’s okay.”

Alexei clapped his massive hands. “Enough! We must eat like family. Come, Y/N, you are guest of honor. You sit at the head of the table.”

“I really don’t have to—”

“No, no, we insist!” Alexei was already dragging out chairs, pulling leftovers from the fridge like he was preparing a feast. Half a dozen mismatched takeout boxes appeared on the long kitchen island. Thai, Indian, pizza, and something that looked like soup but might’ve been a science experiment.

Y/N sat awkwardly at the head of the rustic table while the others filled in around her. Ava spoke lowly with Yelena. Yelena stole fries from Walker’s plate while pretending not to. Bucky poured drinks like he’d done this a thousand times before.

And Bob? Bob sat beside her, giving her space but never quite leaving her orbit.

The food wasn’t fancy, but the warmth in the room was real.

Alexei raised a glass of soda with a proud grin. “To Y/N, for not running out the door immediately.”

“To Y/N,” the others echoed.

Y/N smiled despite herself. “Thanks… I think.”

As the night carried on, stories were told some clearly exaggerated, some probably classified, and Bob leaned in now and then to whisper a joke or fill in a detail. At one point, Yelena asked with her usual bluntness, “So… are you two dating, or is this like a hostage thing?”

Y/N choked on her drink. Bob just shrugged. “Bit of both.”

Even Bucky cracked a smile.

And for a moment just a small, quiet moment Y/N didn’t feel lost. She didn’t feel haunted. She just felt here. Real. And maybe, just maybe… she wanted to stay.

Nothing lasts forever though, Y/N had a clear understanding of that.

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Author's Post Note: Writing writing writing

#marvel #robert reynolds x reader #bob reynolds x reader #fanfiction #sentry #thunderbolts #ao3 fanfic #bob #the thunderbolts #the void

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blacksheep2214 · 27 days ago

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I usually don't say anything here, i try to stay out and just see things unfolding, but holy shit, today people were T.R.Y.I.N.G me, so here it goes

I'm not a Rachel Bilson fan, not even close, i've never watched The O.C., i know fuck all about her other than her relationships with Hayden and Bill, i don't really care, and looking from my point of view yes, she does come off to me as a L.A California Girl airhead... but to bring her child into it???? What the fuck is wrong with some people?

Ok, let's start there, the "rumors" if obscure 1k views TikToks can be even called that (i'm not on X much, i've only seen the TikTok account and some anons on tumblr).

People say "oH, WhY DOEns't sHe DEny thE RUmOrs????" Why would she? Why would she, genius???? Even assuming she for a fact know about it, why would she come to public about it??? Do you guys even think? Do you even know how the celebrity world works?? No one who is anyone has ever heard those rumors, is not in any tabloid or any page, it's just the 5 people (on fucking tumblr of all places) who believe it, this is not news worthy. Why would she go out of her way to bring up a subject the larger media has never heard about? Then the people who don't know would actually become aware of it. Remember the orgasm comment? It only went as big as it did because it was a controversial topic she talked about on her podcast, if it wasn't controversial no one would have cared, and back then the misinformation that came from it was insane, it makes you wonder if people even read it beyond the headlines. I saw people saying she said Hayden in particular has never made her orgasm, which is a gross oversimplification of what she said, she had not mentioned him by name and she was very clear she wasnt putting the blame on him or on any ex, that the problem was the birth control and her own ignorance over her body. But people went right on ignoring that part and going for the more uncharitable interpretation of it. And it got worse, i once saw a girl asking why people hated Rachel so much, an another one's response was "Rachel has come out in her podcast to say that Hayden couldn't get it up" WHAT? That's not even in the same area code as what she said, but there it goes, the misinformation continues. Now the confused girl is probably thinking "Ok, but what if??" It would be the same thing if she ever came to public to deny something no one has ever asked her, even if she said "Hayden is the father guys, don't be stupid", some people would just read the headline and be like "Is this even in question? What if..." all to silence 5 anons on tumblr who won't believe her anyway because their minds are already made, and now people who had no idea about the rumors do and will get to their own conclusions anyway. Brilliant move, i wonder if anyone with an actual brain would think of something so "smart"

All of this just makes Hayden look bad. You don't see that? It makes him look foolish and naive, when he isn't. Like the girl who said Rachel called him "impotent", and now someone out there will actually think there could be some basis for that, when it wasnt what she said at all. All these questions about his paternity are seriously ignoring the fact that if he wasnt the father HE WOULD KNOW, because he is not brainless. He has eyes, he can do the math, if Briar wasn't his daughter he would know, and if he didnt do or said anything, then he doesn't care. And if HE doesn1t care, why should we???

All of this came from a blind item allegedly about them that she the baby wasn't his, well, guess what, guess what, i have another blind item about them too, it came out even before Briar was born and it implied Hayden was lowkey psychotic and also gay, and closeted, and that Rachel was his beard. Will you take that one as gospel too? That would actually work well with your "theory", it would explain WHY he isnt the father and why he would pretend to be. Now, i don't believe this blind item just like i don't believe the other one, but i brought it up because it's kind of funny how selective people get on what rumors to believe that would better fit their narrative. They need Rachel to be the worst person possible and Hayden to be just a helpless little baby who needs them to rescue him from the bad woman who baby trapped him.

Hey, guess what guys? That's not how the world works, this is not a movie, and Hayden is not an idiot like most of you make him out to be. The babyfication of Hayden i see here is soo bad it deserved a thesys on it. When the Monopoly GO adds were coming out i saw a post that basically boiled down to "OMG, They probably had to explain to him what Monopoly GO was because he is so chronically offline" Really??? You think this 40yo doesn't know what mobile games are? That he doesn't know what Monopoly is? That he can't put two and two together without someone holding his hand??? How is that attractive? That just comes off as more examples of not knowing how Hollywood works. Actors who don't have social media don't stay offline because they don't know or can't learn how to use social media, they do it to stay away from drama. Obviously Hayden knows what Twitter is, but it behooves him to pretend not to, so he will have an excuse to stay away from it and from all the drama it creates, and all the negative things that don't benefit anyone to read. A person doesn't get this far in his carreer with almost no controversies by being stupid, he's had a Harvard scholarship, for god's sake. Come on, when i was a baby this guy was partying it up at the Playboy mansion, let's not act like we know more about life and have more experience than he does, it's just silly.

That doesn't exclude the other bad things Rachel did or said, her comments about his anxiety were gross, and meybe even worse than the orgasm one, because it was hitting something way more personal and hard to change about him that isn't really even a problem if you're not superficial. But let's not pretend that we know anything about them or their relationship, in the end every celebrity only shows you what they want you to know about them, and we are no owed anything more than that.

It just reflects badly on him. And hasn't he suffered enough? He dated her, for god's sake, that doesn't sound nice. Wasn't he humiliated enough by the press already? He spent years being ridiculed, and just when he's getting his carreer on track a bunch of unemployed teenagers from tumblr decide to add "gullible fool" and "cuck" to his resumé, like that won't even affect him too. If he somehow is oblivious to it, what would the information that the child he clearly loves isn't his biological daughter do other than hurt him? It wouldn't hurt Rachel, other than whatever carreer she has, it would smear him too.

#hayden christensen #rachel bilson

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todayisdeadinside · 1 month ago

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My Thoughts on @quietasides 'Just Like You' Analysis (x) (x)

Okay, I'm going insane, I need to yap. I just read the two part analysis for the first time, and I have some background info on Simon Cowell that I wanted to tie into this since OP pointed out how many Simon references there are in JLY.

This bullet point list is about as organized as this post will be. After the cut I start quoting and talking about OP's analyses, elaborating on what I picked up on. I really tried to make this coherent.

Immediately I picked up on the overall themes/repeated concepts-

Louis comparing himself (and artists at large) to race horses, who are very notably worked until death and killed when they are no longer in peak condition.

The Weinstein case being shown in articles, including statements from his accusers, as well as various related and unrelated snippets and headlines about sexual abuse and specifically pedophilic sexual abuse.

"Everyone else here before me" repetitive themes of Louis not being the first artist to be used by the industry, with precedent of Weinstein's accusers and Pat Sephton.

Silencing and victims being too afraid to speak out, and various subtle calls for the industry to change. Subtle visual allusions to the GP having access to more info than they know because they choose not to look at what's in front of them.

Various allusions to One Direction and sometimes specifically Harry.

Thoughts on Part 1:

Okay. Louis being blurred out by the word "cash." He's a product, he's a dollar sign.

"Right to oppose despotism" I didn't know what despotism meant so I googled it. It's essential tyranny. Right to oppose a dickhead ruler who controls your life and fucks you over. So, Simon Cowell, in context.

“Hairdresser with HIV pressured victim into having sex” headline comes up SO many times and I think the hairdresser with HIV part is less important, and it's meant to drive home that theme of being pressured into sex acts as an aspiring artist.

And it showing up on the same page as the name Pat (Sephton), tying in the theme of being a child or otherwise young when this pressuring typically occurs. And add what I talked about in my Simon Cowell post about his pedophilic sex parties he hosted with Max Clifford.

“In sentencing the judge said he had taken into account psychiatric issues...” I wonder if this is about the trend of pedophiles and rapists in the industry accusing or painting their victims as mentally ill, or crazy, to destroy their credibility. We see this all the time with artists being slandered because they were going to speak out about something. There's that theme of silencing and fear again.

The crossword being brushed over with transparent white paint makes me think it's conveying that the puzzle pieces and hints of what goes on in the industry are all there, just thinly hidden behind plausible deniability and distractions so few people ever figure it out GP-side. It's right in front of you, it's barely hidden.

The race horse tables. It's all about numbers in the industry. For horses it's times, for artists it's sales. Money. And that appearing with the lyric "same shit/stress." Again Louis saying this is nothing new, and he isn't the first.

The court thing reoccuring- contracts, being sued, lawsuits, all the settlements that abusers have with victims to avoid charges, this is all very common in the industry. Also "bounty pursuit" is very much how these moguls and industry folks see artists- a bounty, a pursuit towards money. Louis could be the Daring Guest, a speck in the wider industry who's daring enough to subtly speak about it.

The whole bit about the owners and the codes being old, this is a cycle, this is STANDARD, artists aren't just seen as objects by some shitty managers, the system is designed to treat them as walking dollar signs. This and the "gun reform" mention make me think Louis is calling for the standards in the industry to be changed, to be more humane.

"It's like we take, then backwards—form of distraction—enormous reaction—so we—instead of talking" Take, then backwards. They get a win, they get punished. Form of distraction is about the media and tabloids, how they control the narrative and distract the GP when they need to, enormous reaction is what the form of distraction wants to prevent. Instead of talking about the music industry's systemic abuse, distract with glitz and glamour.

Followed by another direct mention of sexual assault and victims being afraid to speak out.

The silhouette over Louis' shoulder is a clear metaphor for management, as an entity, contracts, whatever and whoever is keeping eyes on him.

Followed by another mention of sexual harassment with Cara Delevigne's story.

The three strongest themes are artists being dollar signs/objects akin to race horses, Simon Cowell, and sexual assault/pedophilic sexual assault. I think it's clear what this is getting at, maybe not specifically but broadly with what I've uncovered about Simon and what I know broadly about the music industry. Combine those entwined themes with the subtle calls for the industry to change, but fear holding victims back. It's starting to tell a story.

Half of the story with the 1D fonts on Story, comes after all of that set up for the main themes Louis is trying to convey. Simon of course owned One Direction since they were teenagers. Louis is saying we only know half of the story about Simon Cowell and One Direction, how we can find the bits and pieces of how this industry works, of Simon's pedophilic sex parties, but we don't know the other half of how 1D was affected specifically. But with Louis' repetition of him not being the first, and the Weinstein case being prevalent as an example of the past, I think the message he's trying to convey is clear.

Five pound notes for five members of 1D, again that money cash cow comparison, how we only know the glorious story of world famous boyband One Direction, but not the other half.

Followed by the hairdresser with HIV pressures victim into sex article again. I think this is poignant.

The bits about "his downfall not being by chance" is about the fact that most big exposures of pedophiles and rapists in the industry are planned. The Diddy case, for example. A kingpin who gets thrown under the bus is thrown under the bus for a reason, because this industry has ways of protecting the kingpins it values. Diddy was caught on purpose, Weinstein was exposed on purpose. If Simon's crimes ever get exposed on a major scale, it will be by design. The info about Simon is out there (at least as off 2024-25) but he won't have his downfall until the people above him want him to.

"...Even life under—radar in the UK can—better than life at home where economic opportunities can be extremely poor..." And of course alluding to the fact that Louis and the boys (and most aspiring artists) were promised the world in exchange for just a little bit of their human rights and sanity. Being under radar- constantly monitered or filmed- is better than being poor, right?

"Weinstein’s disgrace and defenestration are not happening now wholly by chance. They are part of a changing world." That call for change again, the outright statement of Weinstein's downfall being planned. Louis is telling us how the industry functions as a precedent for the side of the story with Simon that he can't outright tell.

A hallway where it's dark and things are hidden behind closed doors? The metaphorical sense of things being hidden behind closed doors, but also the related metaphor of "behind the curtains" in industry speak, and also also the fact that there's been multiple instances in my recent research of illegal sexual "favours" taking place in LITERAL dark rooms behind literal closed doors, usually in strip clubs or members-only clubs (Groucho club, anyone?)

...And Louis being placed in that hidden hallway. Being whited out with that transparent paint that shows what's going on if you were to pay close attention, that transparent paint of distraction that the GP accepts, so that nobody pays attention to what's right in front of them.

"Look" and "Do" being important makes me think he's saying to look at what's happening, and then do something about it. Observe the information, then take action. It's another subtle call for change.

Alongside Pat Sephton's obituary. According to OP's post, a 14 year old who performed naked on a stage. This being an older example, again hammering in that Louis isn't the first. "Like everyone else here before me" and then he proceeds to show Weinstein, Weinstein's accusers, and Pat Sephton's names.

And references to Simon Cowell again after that. Really clearly outlining the message, I think.

The bit about a powerful and dangerous weapon, which I think is less about Louis and more about the industry and it's ability to "bomb" someone's credability in an instant- a very powerful ability to possess- if they speak out. Or even the bomb that is controlling when a kingpin gets exposed, also a very powerful weapon to possess.

Followed by the hairdressing pressured victim into sex headline, again.

Thoughts on Part 2:

Starting off strong with the word "watch" telling us to open our eyes.

“open secret—for years that—is a sexual—epic scale but—the horrific—the public.” With THIS basically saying "look at the sex abuse in the industry it's literally an open secret."

“...He was surrounded by yes-men and despite stories of his appalling behavior being rife in the industry, senior figures queued up to laud the producer...” This being followed by the bullhorn is showing us that these kingpins are protected up until they're not. They're lauded and praised and beloved- until the industry needs a scapegoat, or they've stepped out of line. Bullhorn! Weinstein in the news. Bullhorn! Diddy in the news. This is the cycle.

Followed by Cara Delevigne's accusation of sexual harassment. Perhaps highlighting how victims only feel safe to come out with their stories after their abuser is already disgraced by the GP? How the industry controls when victims speak out with this planned downfall pattern?

(It's an open secret -> industry protects abusers until -> bullhorn! planned exposure -> victims feel safe speaking out)

And followed by the bit about fear of speaking out again.

"late because—in the same—2013 he said—make good" This stuck out to me because Jeff Azoff started scouting Harry in 2013. The Azoffs are known for being big kingpin names and they have some sex abuse stories attached to them, but they haven't been bullhorned yet. Shelli Azoff sexually abused her maid for a year, Irving Azoff supposedly funded a sex trafficking plot. The rabbit hole with that family goes DEEP, I need to make a post about it.

"if only you knew" "stared at me like I was a piece of meat." These being right alongside each other on screen feels very intentional. He's saying "if only you knew how I was treated. That other half of the story you don't have."

That image ripping away to uncover “I wish I had—have been braver—I will be when I—that sexual abuse—in Hollywood” is continuing the story. "If only you knew I was stared at like a piece of meat, I wish I had been braver, I will be [braver] when (something comes out about Simon?), that sexual abuse in hollywood." Look I know I'm probably insinuating a lot here but this is what the video is conveying, to me at least.

The dog barking poem, I feel is an analogy for the constant expectations and constant surveillance in that industry. Always being barked at to do this, do that, perform better, sell more. Day and night. "it never stops."

By Louis' photo the bit about “brothers who grew up—the abuse they suffered” and 1D being as close as brothers, I think it's another 1D reference with them being teens when they formed and growing up as essentially brothers in this industry. With the Simon is a rich twat bit, and then court being mentioned again. Being threatened via contracts or with threats of lawsuits is very common in this industry, and Syco contracts and known to be INSANE (see: Katie Waissel)

2 speakers but one is off and one is on. I think this is another "half of the story" bit. Followed by the photo of Louis edited onto the article about Weinstein's victims, and followed by the phrase "I was a kid, and I was petrified." Louis mixing himself into the precedent is an even more clear show of Simon being another Weinstein, and Louis being another victim who was too young to know what they were getting into.

The part where the Weinstein article highlights the line about "him sexually abusing women over decades" which then switches onto the race horse article and a circled letter H. I think this is meant to portray the power dynamic in the industry, and maybe an allusion to Harry? The Weinstein and sexually abusing over decades bit, then it shows the H and race horse bit. So far, these kinds of stories being laid out have alluded to Louis, but the H? Is that alluding to Harry as well? 1D on the whole has been alluded to multiple times, so it's plausible.

“unsatisfactory” experiences for owners... want to see “fair, transparent and responsible practices in place to remove significant actual and perceived barriers to new owners” joining the sport" Another call for change, to stop treating the "race horses" (artists) so inhumanely.

Then Louis sets off a bomb and walks away, the same Louis cutout who's pointed to different bits in the articles. The call for change followed by Louis bombshelling the truth, essentially saying he's shown us the missing half of the story through this video, and he's been calling us to LOOK and DO about it. He's telling us to pick up what he's put down.

I don't think OP picked up on this in their post but the guitar doodle encases the phrase "brain-dead bigot" and then of course the jetski -> Simon Cowell reference. Louis called Simon a brain-dead bigot. Thought that was very important to add.

So Simon Cowell, followed by "come and see" and "no further warnings needed." Louis again saying "Look at this, it's visible, I've given all the warnings and precedent with Weinstein and whatnot, so now take that knowledge and look at Simon. Look at my story I'm telling."

"I thought I was safe" "I asked him if he knew I could sing." Louis hammering in that point that this is all precedent that explains his untold story. His face is on the screen during this bit. History is literally repeating itself so clearly he can use past stories to explain his own.

End Notes:

This was driving me crazy, sorry it's such a long post, but I hope I got my point across with what I was seeing. OPs analysis is amazing and I'm just expanding on it with my own thoughts and connections/themes I picked up on, mostly aided by my background knowledge on the music industry and Simon Cowell. I'm not saying I'm definitely correct, but I'm curious to hear people's thoughts.

The Simon Cowell post I mentioned is under my "The Music Industry is FUCKED UP" tag, it gets into alllll of the evidence I have for Simon Cowell being a pedophile and running underage sex parties during some of the years 1D was active & before.

The stuff about Groucho club I'm planning a post on, but basically: pedophilic sex trafficking. Again.

And the Katie Waissel mention on Syco contracts is about her reading her original Syco contract on her twitter a while ago, which I also plan to make a post about.

#music industry #the music industry is fucked up #simon cowell #harvey weinstein #louis tomlinson #pat sephton #one direction #harry styles

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