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#so it was. not easy. but i got everything i needed to done so at least everything turned out alright :) 💖
itneverendshere ¡ 17 hours
Note
reader maybe having a dad, like jj’s? very manipulative and controlling, sometimes it’s physical. and he comes out unexpected while rafes there
okay so i was planning to write off her parents as dead but this made me change my mind a little, hope you enjoy <3
wash the sins out of that house - r.c
pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe)
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The sound of cartoons played low in the background, mixing with the faint clink of a fork against a plate. 
Rafe leaned back against the worn-out couch in your sister’s living room, watching as you flipped pancakes at the kitchen counter. Your sister’s kid, Milo, was glued to your leg, like always, babbling about some superhero show. The smell of breakfast filled the house, making it feel more like home than his own ever did.
Every little thing you did just made him fall more, if that was possible. He was always looking at you like that, like you were some kind of miracle.
It wasn’t just how good you were with Milo or how much you cared about everything and everyone. It was how much weight you carried without ever complaining, how you made everything seem easy even when he knew it wasn’t. You’d been staying here ever since the storm ripped through your house a few months back. 
Your sister was cool. Single mom, strong like you, but in a quieter way. She worked double shifts, and left you to help with Milo most of the time. Not that you ever complained, even after the long shifts, you loved to babysit. You were used to this shit—being the rock. Probably why you hadn’t freaked out when your house got leveled. You just rolled with it, found a place with your sister, and moved on like it was no big deal.
He’d been staying over more and more, crashing on the couch when he was too tired to drive back to Tannyhill. At first, it was just because he wanted to be near you when you couldn’t sleep over at his. But now… it felt like more. Like he could see himself living with you right away.
You glanced over your shoulder, catching him staring like an idiot. “You good?”
“Yeah,” He cleared his throat, leaning forward. “You need help or something?”
You laughed, shaking your head as you flipped another pancake. “You? In the kitchen? That’s rich, baby.”
“Hey, you never complain about my pancakes.”He shot you a grin, but it faded when Milo tugged at your shirt, asking something in that tiny voice of his. 
You crouched down, your voice soft as you reassured him, “Mommy will be back soon, okay? Just a couple more hours.”
You looked so at ease like you’d been raising kids your whole life. It did something to him—watching you like that. This tough, independent woman who wouldn’t take anyone’s shit, just… melting when you talked to Milo.
Rafe swallowed hard, not really knowing what to say. Every time he tried to picture your future together, it got fuzzy. Not because he didn’t want one. He already told you he did. But because he wasn’t sure if he deserved one with you. His life had been a mess half the time.
He’d hurt people. Done things.
But when he was around you, he didn’t feel like that entitled spoiled guy anymore. He felt like someone who could be better. For you.
The front door slammed open, and immediately, something was off. Rafe’s eyes shot from Milo’s cartoons to the guy who’d just staggered in. He could smell the booze before he even saw his face.
Who the hell?
You froze. The spatula in your hand hung mid-air as you stared at this man like you’d seen a ghost. But this wasn’t a ghost. This guy was real, and from the way he was swaying on his feet, he was about to make himself a problem.
“Some fucking daughters y’all are,” the guy slurred, his voice rough and soaked in alcohol. “Not inviting your old man over while he’s in town.”
Your dad? That was your dad?
Rafe’s mind spun. You never talked about your parents and he’d never asked because he wasn’t stupid. He could tell it was a touchy subject, just like his own dad was sometimes, so he never brought it up. He assumed they were gone and you only had your sister. He never imagined this. 
Not once had you mentioned your dad. And now here he was, stumbling through the door like he owned the place.
Rafe shot up from the couch, every muscle in his body tightening. Who the hell did he think he was, barging in here like that? You didn’t say anything right away, but your whole posture changed—your back straight, your pretty face like stone. You looked like you were bracing for something, and he didn’t like that one bit.
“Dad,” you said, flat and cold. “What are you doing here?”
He gave this ugly laugh, a mix of drunk and mean. “What, can’t a father check in on his daughters? Or are you too good for your family now?”
You didn’t even flinch. Didn’t say a word. Just stood there, still as a statue, while Milo clung to your leg, eyes wide, just as confused as Rafe felt.
Rafe stepped forward, putting himself between him and you. He didn’t care if this guy was your dad. He was drunk, stumbling, and saying things no father should be saying to his kid.
“Who the hell are you?” Her dad’s eyes flicked to him, narrowing, like he was sizing me up. “Rich boy? Boyfriend?”
He squared his shoulders, staring him down. “Rafe.”
“Rafe,” he repeated, laughing like it was some kind of joke. “Of course. She’d find herself a rich boyfriend. Always looking for the easy way out, huh?”
He had some fucking nerve walking in here, talking to you like that. Like Rafe was ever going to let someone run you down. He didn’t know anything about your relationship with your parents, but from the look in your eyes and the way you were gripping the edge of the counter, he was starting to get the picture. This wasn’t the first time your dad pulled something like this, clearly.
You grabbed his arm before he could take another step. “Rafe, don’t.”
Your voice was low, almost pleading. Not because you were scared, but because this was deeper than just a drunk guy running his mouth. This was something you’d been dealing with for years, and your boyfriend was just now getting a front-row seat.
Your dad sneered at you. “That’s right. Tell your little boyfriend to back off. You’re not so tough now, are ya? Always thinking you’re better than me. Always looking after your sister’s kid like you’re some kind of hero. But you’re not. You’re just like your mother. Weak.”
That’s when Rafe felt it. That surge of anger, that need to hit something.
No one talked to you ike that. No one.
He could feel his fists clench, chest tightening. He was ready to throw your dad out himself. But your hand tightened on his arm, and he looked at you. Really looked at you. You seemed tired, like you’d been through this a thousand times before, and you didn’t need him to step in. Not right now.
“Let him go,” you said quietly. “He’ll leave when he’s done.”
Rafe didn’t want to back off. Every instinct in him was screaming to throw this piece of shit out on his ass. But something in your voice, something in the way you were looking at him, made him stop. You weren’t asking for help. You were asking him to let it go. For now.
He swallowed the anger and stepped back, though he kept myself between you and your dad. He wasn’t leaving you alone with this guy, no way in hell.
Your dad’s sneer didn’t falter. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He swayed a bit before heading for the door, muttering under his breath. “Ungrateful little—"
The door slammed behind him, leaving the room dead quiet. The kind of quiet that made you realize just how loud things were a minute ago.
You exhaled slowly, like you’d been holding your breath the whole time. You turned back to the counter, flipping the pancake like nothing happened. But Rafe could see the way your hands shook just a little.
He stood there for a second, still running through everything that just went down. He’d never seen you like that before. And he didn’t like what he saw.
“Baby,” he said quietly, stepping closer.
You didn’t look at him. “He does that sometimes. Shows up, drunk, says whatever he feels like saying. Then he leaves. Same thing for as long as I can remember.”
Rafe didn’t know what to say. His mind was racing, trying to wrap around the fact that this was your life. You’d been dealing with that guy for who knows how long, and you never said a word about it.
“That’s not okay,” he said finally, his voice rough. “That’s not normal.”
You sighed, finally turning to face him. “Yeah, well. Now you met the whole family.”
You didn’t know what else to say.
There wasn’t much to say. This was just how things were for you. Your dad was a mess, and you’d learned to deal with it, ignore it even. There was no fixing this. Not really. At this point, it didn't affect you or your daily life that much.
“I should’ve asked,” he said, his voice thick with guilt. “About your family, I mean.”
I shook my head, feeling the weight of it all. “I wouldn’t have told you,” I admitted. “Probably would’ve said he’s dead.”
You didn’t want to be that girl—the one with family baggage so heavy it crushed everything good in your life. You didn’t want Rafe looking at you like I were fragile or damaged. It was bad enough that you were as broke as it got. You’d just gotten used to him wanting to help, to be a little less independent, to let him take care of you and spoil you every once in a while.
This though? You never wanted him to find out. 
But now… he knew. He knew what you came from. And you couldn’t hide it anymore.
“I don’t care,” Rafe said suddenly, breaking the silence. Like he was trying to convince you and himself at the same time. “I don’t care about your dad. I care about you.”
You could feel his eyes burning into you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. Instead, you kept your focus on the pancakes, the routine keeping you distracted. But your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, no matter how hard you tried to stop it.
“I just… I didn’t want you to see that,” You finally admitted, your voice small and raw in a way you hated. “I didn’t want you to know how messed up everything is.”
Rafe moved closer, his body warmth seeping into your side as he leaned against the counter next to you. He didn’t try to touch you, though, and you were grateful for that. You weren’t ready for that.
Not yet.
“Messed up? Baby, have you met me?” He let out this soft, disbelieving laugh, but there wasn’t any humor in it. 
You glanced up at him, finally meeting his eyes. And there it was—that soft, almost sad look he got sometimes when he thought about his family. About how his mom left and how his dad never really let him in. Ward Cameron was friendly enough with you, and he wasn’t a complete asshole to his son, but he was absent, not really caring about keeping a constant connection with his kids. It hit you then that maybe you two weren’t so different after all.
Maybe that’s why you worked.
But still, the shame stayed. The feeling that now that he really knew you, the ugly parts you kept hidden, he might not stick around. Guys like him didn’t stick with girls like you, right? Despite him doing the exact opposite until know.
“This changes nothing, okay?” he said, his voice softer now, almost like he was trying not to spook me. “Not with me.”
He wasn’t looking at you like he was about to leave. His eyes were steady, clear. He didn’t look freaked out or like he regretted being here. He just looked… real. Like he meant every word.
 “This is a mess, Rafe. You saw it.”
“I don’t care,” he said, like he needed you to hear him. “I don’t care about any of that. None of it changes how I feel about you. I love you.”
You bit your lip, turning your attention back to the pancakes because if you didn’t, you were afraid you might cry. You weren’t the crying type, but after everything, your dad showing up like that, and Rafe not running for the door—it was a lot. Too much, maybe.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to fix anything,” you said softly, flipping the last pancake and turning off the stove. “You can’t fix my dad or the way things are. I don’t want you to try.”
“I’m not trying to fix anything,” Rafe said, stepping closer to you now. “I’m just… I’m here. With you. That’s all I want.”
You felt his hand brush against yours, hesitant at first, like he wasn’t sure if you were ready to be touched. But when you didn’t pull away, his fingers laced through yours, and the warmth of it broke through the dread thad settled over you since your dad walked in.
Finally, you turned to face him, and there it was—that look in his eyes again. The one that said you were more than enough, that he saw you, really saw you, and wasn’t running for the hills. You knew him like the plam of your hand now, and he wasn’t bluffing. He never lied to you.
Your heart did this weird thing, like it flipped and dropped all at once. It was still a little scary to hear him say that. Scary because it meant he was sticking around, and as much as you it scared that was exactly what you wanted. For him to stay.
Because you loved him just as much, and you didn’t mind reminding him every day.
Milo broke the silence, tugging at your shirt again. “Is it time for pancakes now?”
You couldn’t help but smile at the innocence in his voice, the way he had no idea what had just gone down. You bent down to scoop him up, holding him close, the warmth of his growing body keeping you sane in the moment.
“Yeah, buddy,” you said softly. “It’s time for pancakes.”
Rafe watched you, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. This is why he knew you’d be a good mom one day. He kept that thought in the back of his mind every day since you gave him the bracelet on his wrist.
The way you picked up Milo and smiled—it calmed him down. The whole scene was so you—taking care of things, keeping it together even when everything around you was a mess.
“Eat up, kiddo,” you said, ruffling his hair as he dug in with way too much syrup. 
Then you glanced at Rafe again, your smile still lingering but more reserved, like you were still processing everything.
Milo was halfway through his second pancake, syrup smeared all over his little face, when he looked up at Rafe with those wide, innocent eyes.
“Hey, Rafey, can we go to the park after this?”
You were clearing the plates from the counter, and Rafe caught the quick glance you shot his way. You had a shift starting in an hour, and Milo probably knew it too, even if he wasn’t saying it.
He leaned back in his chair, wiping a bit of syrup off Milo’s cheek with the corner of a napkin. “The park, huh? What’re you thinking, swings? Slide?”
Milo grinned, syrup dripping down his chin. “Both! And the big jungle gym! You said I was big enough for it now, remember?”
He laughed, remembering the time a couple weeks back when Milo had looked at that massive jungle gym like it was Mount Everest, and Rafe told him he was totally ready to conquer it. “I did say that, didn’t I?”
You shot him a look as you grabbed your bag, ready to head out for your shift. “You sure about this?” you asked.
Rafe waved it off. “Yeah, no problem. Milo and I got this.” He grinned at the kid. “We’re gonna hit the park and maybe even stop for some ice cream after if your mom’s cool with it.”
Milo’s face lit up like Christmas morning, and you laughed softly, shaking your head. “You’re spoiling him, baby.”
He shrugged, trying to play it cool, but deep down he liked how easy it felt, like this was where he was supposed to be. “Eh, he deserves it.”
You walked over to where Rafe was still leaning against the counter, and without overthinking it, you leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
“Ewwww!” Milo groaned dramatically, scrunching up his face like he just witnessed the grossest thing ever. “Why do you always gotta kiss him like that?”
You and Rafe both burst out laughing, and Rafe shook his head, ruffling Milo’s hair. “Get used to it, bud,” he said, still smirking. “She’s gonna keep doing that.”
“Not in front of me,” Milo said, still looking completely disgusted but clearly loving the attention. “It’s so gross!”
You grinned and gave Rafe a playful tap on the chest. “Guess we’ll have to start sneaking around now.”
Rafe chuckled, pulling you in for another quick peck. “I can live with that.”
Milo let out an exaggerated groan, dramatically slapping his hands over his eyes. “Ugh! I’m never getting a girlfriend if that’s what you have to do.”
“Good,” you said, shooting him a wink. “No girlfriends until you’re thirty.”
Rafe laughed again, and Milo just sighed, completely over it. “Can we just go to the park now? Please?”
You shook your head, smiling at how easily the moment turned light again. “You two have fun. I’ll see you later.”
You headed out the door, the sound of your nephew still groaning in the background making you smile as you went, promising yourself you’d answer whatever questions Rafe had about your parents, the second you two snuggled up in his bed at night.
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fushizhuo ¡ 2 days
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Happier Than Ever
Y/N, the youngest member of NewJeans, doesn’t seem to fit in. Her groupmates think she’s distant and always trying to outshine them. But during one performance, she steps forward with an unplanned solo, revealing a side of her that no one saw coming. As the truth comes out, everything changes, and Y/N is forced to take a choice she never chose.
Pairing — NewJeans x F! Reader (platonic)
Genre — Angst and a bit of fluff if u squint
Warnings — Mentions of trauma and abuse
WC — 8.6k words
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Y/N had always been the outlier in NewJeans. The maknae, the sassy one, the one who never seemed to care. At least, that’s what the others thought. From the moment she joined the group, she was distant, never quite fitting into their easy camaraderie. The way she threw herself into practice, trying to outdo everyone, the sharp remarks, the cold demeanor—it was enough to make them think she was just trying to steal the spotlight.
“She’s so full of herself,” Hyein had muttered one day, rubbing her sore shoulders after another long practice session. “Yeah, I don’t get why she tries so hard,” Danielle added, her tone frustrated.
“It’s like she thinks she has to be perfect all the time.” Haerin hummed. “She probably just wants to be the center of attention,” Minji sighed. “I don’t know. She’s always got this attitude. It’s like she doesn’t care about us.”
What they didn’t know was that Y/N was fighting a battle none of them could see. Her father, a man who had never supported her dream of becoming an idol, was the force behind her relentless drive.
To him, anything less than perfection was a failure. And failure wasn’t an option. “If you don’t stay at the top, you’re done,” he had told her, his voice harsh. “I’ll pull you out of that group and make sure you do something worthwhile. Doctor. Lawyer. Something respectable.”
She had no choice but to push herself harder than anyone else, even if it meant alienating her members. They didn’t understand. They couldn’t.
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That night, the arena was packed. Thousands of fans waved their lightsticks, cheering as the stage lights dimmed for the next performance. Backstage, NewJeans were preparing for their set, but Y/N felt a knot in her stomach that wouldn’t go away.
Tonight, she had to break free.
Before the others could ask what was wrong, Y/N stepped forward, holding her microphone tightly. Her heart raced as she looked at Minji, her voice trembling. “I need to sing a solo.”
“What?” Minji frowned, confused. “We don’t have time for that, Y/N. It’s not part of the plan.”
“I'm sorry, but please.” Y/N said quietly, her eyes avoiding theirs. “I have to do this.”
The others exchanged glances, their frustration evident. What was she thinking? They had worked so hard to prepare for tonight’s show, and now Y/N was going off-script? But in the end they agreed. She never begs, nor apologizes. This must be important.
“Fine,” Minji finally said, exasperated. “But this better be quick.”
Y/N nodded and walked toward the stage, her steps heavy. As she stepped into the spotlight, she caught sight of her father sitting in the front row. His face was blank, emotionless, but Y/N knew better. She could feel his judgment, the pressure that had been suffocating her for years.
She grabs her guitar with her, playing the chords softly, and Y/N took a deep breath. This was it.
She was going to let everything out.
"When I’m away from you, I’m happier than ever…"
Her voice was soft at first, almost fragile, but the weight of the words echoed through the arena. The fans quieted, sensing something was different. Backstage, the other members stared in confusion, unsure of what was happening.
"Wish I could explain it better, I wish it wasn’t true…"
Y/N’s voice cracked slightly, but she kept going. The memories of her father’s cruel words, his impossible demands, played over and over in her mind. This wasn’t just a performance anymore—it was her story.
"You called me again, drunk in your benz, driving home under the influence…"
As the next verse flowed out, Minji’s eyes widened in realization. This wasn’t just some random song choice. Y/N was singing about something real. Something painful.
"You scared me to death, but I’m wasting my breath, ‘cause you only listen to your fucking friends…"
Tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes as she sang. She could feel her father’s cold gaze on her from the audience, and it made her chest tighten. She had spent so long trying to please him, trying to be perfect, but it was never enough.
"I don’t relate to you, I don’t relate to you, no, ‘cause I’d never treat me this shitty, you made me hate this city…"
Haerin gasped softly, finally understanding. Y/N wasn’t some brat trying to outshine them. She was fighting for her life, for her dream. And she had been doing it all alone.
"And I don’t talk shit about you on the internet, never told anyone anything bad, ‘cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything, and all that you did was make me fucking sad…"
The pain in Y/N’s voice was raw, unfiltered. Every word cut deeper, every note a release of all the emotions she had buried for years. The fans were in shock, many of them wiping away tears, while backstage, the members watched, hearts breaking.
"So don’t waste the time I don’t have, don’t try to make me feel bad..."
Y/N’s voice grew louder, more intense. The anger she had kept hidden for so long was finally spilling out. She wasn’t just singing for herself—she was fighting for her freedom, for her right to choose her own life.
"I could talk about every time that you showed up on time, but I’d have an empty line, ‘cause you never did…"
Her hands trembled as she gripped the microphone, her voice carrying the weight of years of disappointment. Her father had never been there when she needed him, never supported her when she struggled, and now she was finally telling the world.
"Never paid any mind to my mother or friends, so I shut ‘em all out for you ‘cause I was a kid…"
The lights on stage seemed to dim around her as the final words fell from her lips. The room was silent, the audience stunned, unsure of how to react to the raw honesty they had just witnessed.
Backstage, the other members could only stand in shock, tears streaming down their faces. Y/N had been fighting a battle none of them had seen, a battle they had misunderstood. She wasn’t trying to be better than them. She was trying to survive.
"You ruined everything good, always said you were misunderstood, made all my moments your own..
just fucking leave me alone!"
By the end of the song, Y/N’s voice was shaking, her body trembling from the emotional toll. She stood there, tears rolling down her cheeks, staring out into the darkened crowd, knowing her father was there, watching.
Then, as the final note faded, the silence was broken by slow, hesitant applause. It started with one person, then another, until the entire stadium erupted into cheers. The fans understood. They had felt her pain, and they were with her.
Y/N didn’t move. Her eyes were locked on the figure of her father sitting in the front row. His face was cold, unfeeling, as if her words hadn’t touched him at all. And in that moment, she knew—he would never change. He would never let her be free.
As the rest of NewJeans rushed onto the stage to comfort her, Y/N felt her father’s presence like a dark cloud looming over her. Her members hugged her tightly, whispering apologies, telling her they were there for her now. But Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling of dread.
“I’m so sorry,” Minji whispered, holding Y/N’s shaking form. “We didn’t know… We didn’t understand.”
“We should’ve seen it,” Hanni added, her voice thick with guilt. “You didn’t have to go through this alone.”
Y/N’s tears fell faster, but she couldn’t bring herself to respond. Her father’s eyes bored into her from across the stage, and she knew this wasn’t over. It wasn’t up to her anymore.
Suddenly, a figure began moving toward the stage. It was her father, pushing his way through the crowd, his face stone-cold with fury. The members of NewJeans noticed him at the same time, their protectiveness flaring up as they closed in around Y/N.
“What does he want?” Danielle asked, her voice trembling with anger.
Y/N didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She just stood there, frozen in place, as her father reached the edge of the stage and motioned for her to come down. His hand gestured sharply, a silent command.
“Y/N…” Minji started, her voice full of concern.
But Y/N knew she had no choice. She wiped her tears and stepped back from her groupmates, avoiding their eyes as she walked toward the stairs. The crowd’s cheers faded as confusion spread through the arena.
“Where is she going?” Hyein whispered, panic creeping into her voice.
Her father grabbed her arm as soon as she reached him, pulling her away from the stage. The grip was tight, unforgiving. Y/N winced but didn’t fight back. She was too drained, too scared. Her dream was slipping away before her eyes, and there was nothing she could do.
“No,” Minji said firmly, stepping forward. “She doesn’t have to go with you.”
But Y/N’s father shot them a cold glare. “This is none of your business. She’s my daughter. And she’s done with this ridiculous idol nonsense.”
Danielle’s fists clenched in anger. “You can’t do that to her. She’s not your puppet.”
Y/N shook her head slightly, signaling to her members that it was no use. This was her reality. Her father’s control over her life was too strong, and no matter how much they cared for her now, it wasn’t enough to change that.
“I’m sorry,” Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible. “I’m so sorry…”
Minji, Hanni, Danielle, Hyein and Haerin stood helplessly as Y/N was led away, her figure disappearing into the crowd. The fans, confused and heartbroken, watched as the youngest member of NewJeans was taken from the stage, her future with the group slipping away with every step.
As the doors to the backstage area closed behind her, Y/N felt her father’s control settling over her once again. The dream she had worked so hard for, the friendships she had finally started to build—it was all slipping through her fingers.
She had sung her truth. She had shown the world who she really was.
But it wasn’t enough.
Her father’s voice was low and cold as they left the venue. “That’s it. You’re done with this idol nonsense. Tomorrow, we’ll start making plans for your future. A real future.”
Y/N didn’t respond. She had nothing left to say.
As the car drove away from the arena, leaving the lights and cheers behind, Y/N stared out the window, her heart heavy with the realization that her dream was over.
She was no longer a part of NewJeans.
And in that cold night, she knew she would never be happier than ever again.
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lumpywhump ¡ 2 days
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Whump idea I had.
Organ theft but Whumpee is awake for it. Bonus if they are afraid of needles or medical procedures
Tw: blood
"one two three all eyes on me! Okay kids," whumper clapped. "For our lab we got Subject 188236. Everyone say "hi Subject 188236!"
"...hi subject 188326..." whumper was the most insufferable professor on campus.
muffled cries called from the steel table. Whumpee squinted at the harsh lights, so they could see the people around them. Students in white lab coats and goggles watched them from every corner of their field of vision.
"Today you get no instructions. You'll tell me what to do, and I'll be your arms. We are harvesting it's heart." Whumper looked around, "Student A, how do we start?
"Like are we assuming everything is set up for us to just start cutting?"
whumper nodded.
"Then you need to make a 6-8 inch incision on the chest wall,"
"Perfect,"
Whumpee whimpered as whumper pressed their scalpel to whumpee's chest.
"Based off this subjects size, Student B, how big of an incision should I make?"
"Uhh, I wanna say somewhere between seven and eight?"
"Okay then, I'll go right in the middle,"
whumpee cried out as the teacher slowly ripped open their chest, blood collecting around the cut. Their breath quickened, but relief poured through them as whumper withdrew their tool.
"Oh no! Looks like our subject is panicking, I can't accurately open their chest like this. What do we do now?"
"Have someone nearby calm them down?" Student A answered.
"Student D, your turn,"
"The best way to calm them down is with assurance and distractions. May I?"
"All yours,"
Whumpee felt someone touch their head. They flinched, their chest throbbing worse with the motion.
"hey, it's okay, you're doing well so far, but it's going to hurt more if you don't calm down,"
All whumpee really heard was hurt more. Their eyes watered, stinging their dry eyes.
Student D retreated away, knowing they made things worse.
"it's okay, we all make mistakes. Student E? Wanna give it a shot?"
A hand covered Whumpee's eyes. They reached to pull the hand away, scared by the sudden darkness, but their hands were still restrained. Another hand began to massage their temples. And man, this was probably the nicest thing someone has done in a while. The newer people tended to be kinder. Whumpee couldn't help but relax, in fact, they almost fell asleep.
"good job," whumper whispered, making sure not to disturb whumpee. "Keep going,"
Whumpee whined as Whumper finished the cut, but they relaxed again when Student E begins trailing their nails along whumpee's buzzed scalp.
"what's next?"
"ethh ate," whumpee mumbled with the gag tied around their head.
"what was that?" Whumper asked. Whumpee moved their jaw, referencing the gag.
"Now," whumper returned to their normal speaking volume. "You really shouldn't ever do this, because sometimes subjects are prone to biting or saying things that they really shouldn't, but 188236 tends to be good. When you all work in this industry, you'll learn when it is and isn't okay to do this."
Whumpee felt hands grab the gag and pull it down.
"what did you say?"
"Next you open the breast plate, then the ribs, disconnect the heart from the arteries, blah blah blah. Please, I'm tired, just please get this over with." Their tears wetted Student E's hand. the hands released whumpee's head.
"Whumper... I don't think I can do this,"
Whumper sighed. "And this is my fault. This is another reason we don't normally remove the gag...... why don't we stop for today? We can do this again next class." Whumper smiled at their students.
Once whumper was left alone with whumpee, they turned to them. "Looks like you get off easy today huh?"
whumpee didn't respond.
"Let's wrap your chest so you don't get blood everywhere,"
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meademalove ¡ 21 hours
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How can you not love her? 😭🩵❤️
Viv: “I’m really happy with the reception I got from the fans and from all the other girls, it was pretty special. Coming back for the first time is a difficult thing to do. It’s the first time you’re coming back home to the place where you’ve been for seven years, so it’s not easy, it’s not like any other normal game, but I think Gareth has been really good with me in checking in with what I wanted to do this week, and the girls have helped me through today, and I’m just really happy the game is done and dusted now and we can move on.”
“I wanted to be respectful for the fans who have stood by for the last seven years and are still standing by me, so I think I did the right thing in that sense. Coming back here today, mainly the focus was on surviving and getting through that game, and then everything else that came with that was just a bonus.”
GT: “I had some good conversations with Viv this week, and I could tell this [returning to the Emirates] was one she just wasn’t comfortable with. It’s really difficult when you go back to your former club.”
Viv: “You could see on the pitch at times that I’m back to being old me, and I can spread some passes and score some goals, and I think that’s the only thing I need to focus on right now and keep on going. I’m happy I stayed in England, I’m happy I stayed in the league. I feel free, I feel like I can be myself, and that’s really what I needed.”
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dav-suburbiia ¡ 3 days
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drdt ch2 ep14 spoilers
compiling some of my thoughts
god . fuck . the way Teruko’s “let go of me” was so soft and apprehensive as if she didn’t want to scare Eden further than she already was . I’M SICKKKK/pos
I still love Hu but yeah her insistence got a little much in this episode . thank you for everything girl but please . please take a break . that desperate smile as she begged Nico to let her defend them… she has some harrowing issues she needs to work out. I can’t wait to learn more!
david chiem secures his number one placement at the “top ten worst bisexuals” list /aff. god. I’m actually insane about him and Teruko’s foils it is everything to me. he wants Teruko to give into her nature so he can use her as a method to prove his worldview right- that every person is born with their permanent “nature” in their blood, and that it’s pointless trying to change that. he wants her to do what she’s always done, because that’s how he gets the advantage on her. that’s how he gets his satisfaction, when there’s nothing left to feasibly criticize about his words because he knows for sure he’s right. all he wants is for him, the man born to lie, to be proven without a shadow of a doubt that he is CORRECT.
but Teruko is not giving him that fulfillment. she knows he has a point, she knows he’s using her word against her, she is visibly affected by this “easy choice” he’s dangling in front of her. yet she doesn’t take his bait. she chooses to make room for a little bit of trust. not just to spite David, but also to make the trial more organized and efficient. she is working to fix her fatal mistake from earlier in the trial. and it’s fucking awesome.
Teruko as a character is just so engaging. she wants to find excuses for not trusting others, yet at the same time she also protects herself with excuses TOWARDS trusting others.
“I’m repaying your favor, and nothing else. That’s why I’ll trust you, just this once.”
she is so conflicted about what she wants. about what she THINKS she wants versus what is BEST. she wants to do the right thing, but she wants to be safe. I hope to see that grow and blossom as DRDT continues, because she is truly one of, if not, THE greatest fangan protagonist I know of
gah, and here comes the Ace culprit accusation. it may not be Huover after all… but, we’ll see where this goes. I think they’ll bring up Ace’s gloves (for the rope burn) and his strength (for getting the rope over the ceiling, which I assume was done with the starch ball…? he did have a chance to get the clothes, because he was a part of the redesign gang) when talking about his possibility as a culprit. either way, I look forward to what happens next!
good shit, DRDTDev. I’m loving everything about this. thank you for all you do . 🙏
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nanivinsmoke ¡ 15 hours
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PYSKINKTOBER
welcome to PYSKINKTOBER! im you’re host, nani, and we got a few games to play! before we start, you might be wondering what is PSYKINKTOBER, well it’s a new thing im starting—it’s still kinktober but I wanted to add some psychotic oneshots to the mix.
all PYSKINKTOBER one shots will be tagged with trigger warnings when needed to. some of these might not get done, but ill let you guys know!
in the meantime, who’s ready to to play?
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PRESS PLAY
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PAPRAZZI . ❥ mma!fighter toji x fem!reader — ROUND ONE + tw: stalking
summary ❥ the strongest man in the world can’t seem to shake off his number one fan. heavily inspired by lady gaga’s song
DADDY’S DEALINGS ❥ patch!wolverine x fem!reader — ROUND TWO   summary ❥ dont fuck with him while he’s working. you knew that, but what happens when you try to fuck on him during work? ' NSFW CONT '
KNOCK THAT KITTY CAT OUT! ❥ old!manlogan x f!reader — ROUND THREE   summary ❥ everything and everyone seems to stress the old man out, what happens when he takes it all out on you? title inspired by sir mix a lot ' NSFW CONT '
S(C)ARRIE STORIES ❥ supernatural x fem!reader — ROUND FOUR   summary ❥ whatever you do, don’t let the winchester brothers convince you to watch scary movies with you—especially while you’re high.
AND I CAME! ❥ dbf!toji x fem!reader — ROUND FIVE
summary ❥ handing out candy to trick-o-treaters with him should be easy, right? inspired by love game by lady gaga ' NSFW CONT '
HURTS SO GOOD ❥ laststand!logan x fem!reader — BONUS ROUND ONE   summary ❥ you find out logan has a pain kink. ' NSFW CONT '
NIGHTMARE ON KINK STREET ❥ tf!sukuna x fem!reader — BONUS ROUND TWO   summary ❥ scary movies before bed? seems like you’re just asking for a scare. ' NSFW CONT '
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dovesdreaming ¡ 2 days
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Pirates charm
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Summary: Your the daughter of Meg and Hercules, everyone always compares you to your mother saying your exactly like her. You couldn’t deny it either especially with how you wouldn’t let yourself swoon for Harry hook.
Masterlist
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Being the daughter of Meg and Hercules wasn’t easy. On one hand, you were expected to live up to your father’s reputation. The strong, brave hero of Olympus who could move mountains and defeat titans. People looked at you like you were supposed to be just like him- noble, pure, a shining example of what a demigod should be. But on the other hand, you were also Meg’s daughter. And that meant you were sarcastic, quick-witted, and more than a little cynical. If your dad was all about heroism, you were about surviving in a world where happy endings didn’t always happen. Your mother had made sure you understood that. She’d been there, done that, and wasn’t about to let you fall into the same traps she had.
You were, as people liked to say, the spitting image of Meg. From your sharp wit to the way you carried yourself, always with a knowing smirk and a hint of sass in your voice. You weren’t a wide-eyed optimist like so many people in Auradon. No, you knew better than that. Which was why Auradon Prep had become.. a little boring. The whole "perfect world" thing? Yeah, it got pretty old fast. Sure, there were plenty of bright, smiling faces and happily-ever-afters, but after a while, it all felt a bit fake. Like everyone was just pretending everything was perfect all the time. You needed something different. Something real. And then… Harry Hook showed up.
The first time you met Harry, you were standing by the docks, watching the Isle of the Lost kids as they arrived on their ship. Ben had done his whole "integration" thing, and now, here they were, villains' kids walking the pristine streets of Auradon. It was all very dramatic, with people whispering and staring at the new arrivals, like they were some kind of dangerous animals let loose in a zoo. You didn’t care about most of them. But then, you saw him. Harry Hook.
With his long coat, swaggering walk, and that trademark hook hanging from his hand, he made quite the entrance. His sharp blue eyes scanned the crowd, taking everything in like he was already planning his next move. His smirk was lazy, but there was a dangerous glint in his eyes that made you raise an eyebrow. And when his gaze landed on you? Oh, he noticed you too. His eyes flicked over your figure, taking in the sharpness of your features, the confidence in the way you stood. Unapologetic, like you didn’t care what anyone thought. It was enough to make him pause for a second, his smirk faltering before returning even wider.
“Aye, what do we have here?” he murmured as he sauntered over to you, his voice dripping with a Scottish lilt that sounded both amused and intrigued. “Didn’t know Auradon had girls like you”.
You crossed your arms, eyeing him up and down. “What? You thought we were all sunshine and rainbows?” He grinned, his hook tapping against his side as he stopped in front of you. “Somethin’ like that. But I think ye’re more storm clouds, lass. And I like that”. You gave him a dry smile, the corner of your lips lifting. “I aim to disappoint”. Harry’s grin didn’t falter. If anything, it grew wider. “Ah, ye’re trouble, aren’t ye? I can tell”. You shrugged, glancing at him with a bored expression. “If you’re looking for damsels in distress, you might want to look elsewhere”. “Damsels?” He raised an eyebrow, his smirk full of mischief. “I don’t do damsels. I like girls who fight back”. You tilted your head, feigning interest. “Good, because I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than need saving”.
He laughed, a deep sound that was rough around the edges, like he wasn’t used to laughing much. But there was something about you that seemed to break through his usual bravado. “Aye, I can tell”. After that, it was like a game between the two of you. Wherever you were, Harry wasn’t far behind, and every time he tried his usual pirate charm on you, you gave it right back with a smart remark or a sarcastic quip. He’d call you “lass” and you’d call him “Hook” with a roll of your eyes, but beneath all the teasing, there was something else. Something you weren’t quite ready to name.
Because despite all the back-and-forth banter, Harry Hook was different from the others. He wasn’t like the perfect princes of Auradon, who threw themselves at you with grand gestures and shining armor. No, Harry was raw. Real. He didn’t pretend to be something he wasn’t, and he didn’t expect you to either.You liked that about him, even if you’d never admit it.
One afternoon, you found yourself sitting by the lake, enjoying some peace and quiet when you heard footsteps behind you. You didn’t need to look to know who it was “Should’ve guessed you’d be here” you said, not even turning around as you leaned back on your elbows. Harry sat down next to you, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his body. “Can’t help meself” he said with a grin. “Ye’re just too much fun to annoy”. You glanced over at him, eyebrow raised. “If this is your idea of fun, you need a hobby”.
“Oh, I’ve got hobbies” he replied, his voice teasing. “But ye’re definitely the most interestin’ one so far”. You rolled your eyes, fighting back the smile that tugged at the corners of your lips. “You must be really bored”. Harry chuckled softly, but then his expression shifted, turning more serious. “Ye know, ye’re different from the rest of ‘em”.
That caught your attention. You turned to him, curious. “What do you mean?” He tapped his hook lightly against his leg, looking out at the water. “Auradon, it’s full of people pretendin’ to be somethin’ they’re not. All smiles and pretendin’ everythin’ is perfect. But you?” He looked at you with those intense blue eyes. “Ye don’t pretend. Ye’re real”.’You blinked, not expecting the honesty in his words. For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. You’d spent so long deflecting with sarcasm and wit that someone seeing through you like that threw you off balance. “I’m just me” you finally said, shrugging as if it didn’t matter. “Nothing special”. Harry’s gaze didn’t waver. “That’s where ye’re wrong, lass”.
There was something in his voice that made your heart skip a beat. You weren’t used to this, this raw, unfiltered honesty. People didn’t talk like that in Auradon. They didn’t look at you like they could see right through the mask. But Harry did. And, gods help you, you liked it. You cleared your throat, breaking the tension. “And here I thought pirates only cared about treasure”. Harry smirked, his teasing nature slipping back into place. “Aye, well, maybe I found somethin’ better”. Your heart did another unexpected flip at that, but you didn’t let it show. Instead, you gave him a lopsided smile. “If you think I’m going to swoon, you’ve got another thing coming”. Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Nah, I wouldn’t want ye any other way”.
The two of you sat in comfortable silence after that, the sound of the water lapping against the shore filling the space between you. For once, there were no quips, no banter just a quiet understanding. Maybe you and Harry weren’t so different after all. Maybe, beneath the sarcasm and smirks, you were both just looking for something real. And maybe, just maybe, you’d found it in each other.
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Thank you for reading!!
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bacchuschucklefuck ¡ 4 months
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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bunnihearted ¡ 2 months
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🧸♡ ⋆。˚
#it actually does make such a huge difference omg im like ... feels like i got thrown into the floor lost my breath#having someone i like so much to talk to abt things#and share stuff and details abt not only my days but their days too#and talking abt like books that we read or shows/movies we saw and etc etc#sending pics. sending voice messages. all of that#that was so amazing wth???#it sounds like such a mundane thing but it changed my enire baseline. it wasnt a littel thing to me#i didnt share as much as i wanted to because it takes me longer to settle into smth like this#or any kind of connection/correspondence/bond/rapport#im slow bc im so scared of ppl. scared of trusting. scared of opening up. rejection rejection all of that#yeah.. takes me a lot longer than the average person to settle into smth like this#avpd is its own special hell...#i miss it a lot and i wish there hadnt been all the other circumstances so i could've actually relaxed into it#and come out of my shell completely. which i was almost there. now that mental block is gone but it's too late....#i take too long... it is impossible to be patient with me. i really hate everything abt my brain#my desire overtook my fear and it was quicker than it ever has but not enough.. :(#i miss it sm and it made me feel so so much lust for life..#but it's gone now and i can really feel the loss of it#i wouldve done anything i could to save it. or nurture it. or whatever. but it was a sacred treasure to /me/.#it doesnt matter if i try to put out the flames in a burning house if the house is gone and there are actually only the flames left#and since to me it is so special. and like. the fact that this even happened is crazy to me stuff like this feelings and connection never#happen to me. it's like.. special to talk to someone u like & have an established rapport with on a regular basis#and tell them stuff and rant abt like a book or whatever. ask them details abt their life bc u know them and enjoy knowing them#i cant just transfer all of this to someone else. i dont feel like yapping abt the book im reading into the void or someone i barely know#i just dont know... i need that sm and it was so amazing w someone i like sm. & it makes me sad i takes me too long to get fully comfortable#bc of this time were it was the most intense and long lasting for me but also im in love lmao. but other times too...#i take too long and why would someone wanna wait like actually a year (which is how long it often takes me to pass a certain barrier)#im not special. im nothing that great. it is easy to find someone else who is x1000 better than me and wont take an eternity to warm up#i just feel so sad bc i try so hard and then all of my effort just goes down the drain and then i have to do it again if i meet someone#then they'll leave me behind too and get tired of me and not like what they see and then im back at square 1 again
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plantenjoyer ¡ 2 months
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
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#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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people begging me to do something to make a certain someone happy aren’t taking into account that i hate this person and i will revel in the knowledge that i kept them from getting the most perfect version of what they wanted. in fact i hope they mourn the loss of this for the rest of their life and die unhappy about it
#i wish i could do worse. i wish i could go through and ruin everything i ended up giving them (all against my wishes) and i wish#i could ruin everything they love because god do i hate them and i will laugh when they finally fucking die#i have no idea why everyone glosses over all the shit this person has done to us and all the pain they’ve caused and i can’t fathom why#everyone wants to make them happy and why they’re willing to beg and bribe for me (and one other person who also hates them) to#give in but it is amusing and i hope they all fucking cry about it like oh nooo did poor [REDACTED] not get something they will never#get another chance to have ? oh well that sucks so bad for them i’m oh so sorry i caused that i can’t believe i managed to ruin their#chances for this how awful that this person i hate who has done and gotten away with so many horrible things didn’t get their perfect#little fantasy how sad we should all comfort them and call me a bitch who has no respect for anyone#god sometimes i wish i gave into violence more in the past bc i wish i got to fucking beat their ass up back when it would be self-defense#unforch i will never get to now. SAD!#i suppose i have murder fantasies and the thought of being able to ruin their funeral to soothe my soul#and the knowledge that i could make them fucking hurt by refusing to cooperate w them#and ough every time an opportunity presents itself for me to fucking take back what they took from me arises i have to fight myself#on it bc everyone will know it was me. i don’t even want what they have i just want them to know they will never get it back and#god it would upset them so much but they never should have had it in the first place ough if i get the chance before i ditch everyone here#for good i’d want to take it and stick around just long enough to hear how much they’ll cry about it before i fuck off#unforch i would need to know where all of their copies of things are but fuck i hate knowing they’ve taken so much from me bc i didn’t#get a fucking choice and they think they have to right to keep it all bc oh it makes them so happy they love having it they’re so fucking#afraid of losing it but it’d be so easy and i doubt they’d even notice for a while and i genuinely could disguise it as a mistake something#got misplaced some files corrupted etc etc but whatever this is fantasy a sweet little daydream of mine my second fantasy involving#them has smth to do with setting their house on fire and my third fantasy is desecrating their grave when the time comes#okay i’m done w this lalalalalala *skips off into the distance* i think revenge is not productive but god is it delicious to think about
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thefirstknife ¡ 2 years
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Peeked at twitter again unfortunately, and apparently people are mad that this week's seasonal story update was shorter? Literally it's a season that launches with the expansion. Every single one of those was smaller and lighter on the content.
Personally, I am enjoying that this season's storyline isn't too demanding. Clearly I love when we get a lot of lore, and we still get the usual initial dialogues, a lot of new weekly mission dialogues, ending dialogues and radio message + 2 lore pages. I have so much shit to do with Lightfall AND the exotic mission launched today which added so much new stuff to do so I was super glad that I was done with the weekly story in like 20 minutes.
Obviously the story was shorter due to the exotic mission launching alongside it. This seasonal story is also shorter in general, with only 6 weeks (6 lore pages to earn) which I am honestly relieved about because there's so much Lightfall content that I'm barely catching up with and there's the pinnacle grind that's kicking my ass because I don't want to die in every activity because an enemy looked at me. I get so overwhelmed with content when an expansion launches and there's also seasonal content. Sometimes I wish we got no season with the expansion.
So many people want things to slow down a little because we simply do not have time to grind 24/7, but then there's strange people who want a weekly update to require 6 hours of investement I guess. And of course everything in those 6 hours has to be brand new content, never before seen. If I see a single blade of grass that has been used as texture before, then Bungie is lazy. Obviously. /s
The only legitimate problem with this setup is for people who didn't get the expansion and only have the season. Their season is then not the exact same quantity as others. But it's never those people that make these complaints.
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sofarsogoodsowhat ¡ 2 years
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ok ok ok last post abt it hi me and my mom got tattooed today and the chick that did em was fucking awesome i keep fucking bouncing cuz im like so happy with how they came out
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spacedlexi ¡ 2 years
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i just remembered that i designed an entire town and was almost done digitally lining my drafts before i just forgot it existed 🤪
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oriax ¡ 2 years
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i have Cleaned the Bedroom.
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archaeren ¡ 3 months
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How I learned to write smarter, not harder
(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)
A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.
The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.
As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!
Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!
2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)
Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.
Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.
I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.
Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!
This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.
As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.
When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD
People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.
What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!
What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.
You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.
And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.
And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.
If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?
And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD
In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.
Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.
Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)
And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)
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