#so it’s a stupid bodycheck

[binch-i-might-be]

customers are like houseflies (love slamming into see through objects at full force due to their tiny brains)

[vigilantejustice]

//

[pricefieldsuperiority]

Yearning Allegations

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x reader

Genre: Friends to lovers slowburn (Series)

Summary: You've liked Paige for the longest time. Is there any chance she likes you too?

Paige Bueckers was your best friend.

She was also one of the most popular players on the Uconn Huskies.

Although many loved her, none of them knew her like you did. Most certainly, none of them loved her like you did.

You had known her since the first year of high school, where you two hit it off in English class, teasing her about how slowly she read. She had just shot some stupid comment back at you, and from then on, you two were inseparable - which is why you were sitting courtside at this very moment, happily watching her play.

"And that's time, another win for Uconn!!"

The announcer shouted loud as Paige threw the basketball at the last second, arcing perfectly into the net. She beamed wide as she turned around, her cheeks pink with pride, scanning the crowd for you. Her eyes seemed to shine a little brighter, or so you thought, upon landing on you.

She grinned in your direction, nodding slightly at you, as she ran past you to congratulate her teammates. They tackled her, nearly knocking her over. The crowd's roar was racious in your ears, their shouts nearly as loud as yours. Uconn had won again. You smiled to yourself, Paige was gonna be absolutely insufferable after this. She always was after games like these.

You waited patiently outside the change rooms, scrolling mindlessly on tiktok, waiting for Paige to finish up. Usually, she stayed a few extra minutes afterward, yapping with the team about whatever, and then would come out with KK, jokingly bickering about some nonsense. You hadn't been waiting more than 5 minutes when Paige came bounding out alone, grinning proudly. You grinned back, amused. She was like a 6 ft tall puppy.

"Yooo y/n, did you see me out there??!" Paige threw her arm around you as you guys started the familiar walk to her dorm. After wins, she'd refuse to let you get any work done so you didn't even bother going back to your dorm at this point.

"Yeah, I saw!!" You say, unable to stop yourself from smiling back. Paige's smile was genuinely infectious.

"Dude, I'm the best hooper at Uconn for reallll hahah." Her laughter echos around the hallway.

You roll your eyes and pat the hand she has draped over your shoulder.

"Ehhhh, I think you're alright"

Paige scoffs at you, eyebrows raised.

"Come on, just alright?? You love me, don't lie. " Her eyes are alight with happiness and you fight the corners of your mouth, looking away.

"That play at the end was eh, I've seen better"

Paige rolls her eyes, scoffing yet again before holding the door open for you, leaning against it.

"You're a terrible liar y/n"

Before you can reply, Paige ruffles your hair, and you bat her hand away, complaining. She grabs your hand, and you bodycheck her, but to no avail, cause she takes off running to her dorm just to annoy you on purpose. But you laugh anyway, cause it's so typical Paige.

---

It's only a few days later when you find yourself at an infamous Uconn house party, and the alcohol in your system is making your cheeks feel warm. Your red solo cup of vodka is half empty, and you peer at it, wondering if you should leave your comfy spot on the kitchen counter.

You're admiring Paige from across the room, watching her talk to some fans.

She looks hot as hell tonight, dressed in a black cropped tank top and low waisted baggy black cargo pants. Her middriff is on display, and a tiny bit of her boxers peak out. For a second you wonder about what'd it feel like to put your hands there but you force yourself to stop thinking about her, nails digging into your palms as you take another sip of your drink.

Your feelings for Paige had only intensified over the years, becoming harder and harder to ignore as you two got older. In high school, you could just explain it all away because she was your best friend, but now? You guys had only become closer since starting at Uconn, and these days resisting the urge to make a move was becoming nearly unbearable, especially with the looming fact that everyone and their mother wanted Paige.

Normally, you'd just go over to her and yap her ear off, but the amount of alcohol you've had tonight makes you feel like being around her might be a bit dangerous.

So instead, you just stare from afar, watching her put her arm around the girl who's exclaiming she's "her biggest fan." You roll your eyes, inner monologue already snarkly thinking that Paige gets told that at least once a day.

You're so engrossed in watching Paige take pictures- she's now laughing with the fan over some stupid joke- that you don't notice KK's slid over to you.

"Damn girl, you really ain't beating the yearning allegations huh"

Her voice shocks you out of your reverie, and you glance over at her.

"Huh!?? What do you mean-"

KK's eyes are knowing, and she just raises one brow as she pours herself a new drink.

"Boo, we all see the way you look at her"

You roll your eyes, trying to play it cool. Although you're pretty sure the whole team already knows how you feel, you still refuse to admit it cause what if that got back to Paige? You want her, but not more than your friendship. You could never forgive yourself if something happened to you two. You resist the urge to do anything about how you feel solely to protect your friendship.. but also because you're scared. What if she doesn't like you like that? It'd probably just make everything awkward anyway.

"I don't know what you're talking about- Paige's just my friend." You keep your voice steady, but your expression darkens as you see the girl is STILL talking to Paige, her hand lingering on Paige's waist as she draws back from a hug.

"Uh huh.. whatever you say, " KK says, leaving the kitchen with her refill.

A few minutes later, you're busy answering some texts when Paige comes over.

"Hey, KK told me you're being all edgy and hiding out in the kitchen instead of having fun at the party. You're scaring off the hoes, dude. "

Paige is always more affectionate than normal when she's drunk, and tonight is no different. She places her hand on your thigh, grinning as she peers at your face, and you look at her for a few seconds before you move off the counter to stand.

"I'm not hiding, I was dancing a bit ago I just got tired-" This is technically not a lie, considering you did dance for a few minutes before deciding to become the next Joe Goldberg.

"Rightttt..." Paige towers over you, an annoying fact that hasn't changed since high school.

You're about to reply with some smart ass answer when some girl walks into the kitchen, cup in hand, her jaw dropping open as she spots Paige.

"Oh my God, Paige Bueckers?!?" The girl's voice raises practically 3 octaves, and you feel so annoyed you resist the urge to just sigh at the sight.

"I love you so much! I was watching you the other day - that final score was so good you really clutched the game-" The girl gushes, her hand resting on Paige's arm. Paige is, of course, grinning broadly. She loves the attention - and you can practically feel a headache coming on from the sound of the girl's voice.

"My head hurts real bad, gonna go back to my dorm-" You murmur as you pass Paige to leave.

"Oh, are you okay?" Her attention is momentarily distracted by your leave, and you try to inject some pep into your voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

---

Authors Note: Hope yall don't mind a slowburn! Thought it'd be cute to make a short series <3

Trilogy: Part 2 here / Part 3 here

[vinnoa-articles]

Unlucky(?) Wandering

[Gif from ONE PIECE by Eiichiro Oda]

Rating: +18, you have been warned. If you are a minor, leave now.

Word count: 3,325

Type: Smut

Characters: reader (AFAB), Zoro, mentioning of Sanji

Trigger warnings/content: Sexual content, drinking/drunk sex, rough sex, degradation, spanking, multiple orgasms, brat/brat taming

Sweat was dripping from his brow, down to his waist band, breathing heavily as he stretches while he takes a small break from his work out. “I need to get…stronger,” staring at his cut-covered hands, closing and opening the palms to ensure the tension on the pads of his fingers were releasing slowly. The pulsing of his blood ran hot within his body, his jaw was clenched, the callouses pressing against each other as he closed and opened repeatedly, to get ready for his next rep set. “I need a drink after this,” slowly bending down to grab his biggest set of dumbbells, grunting under the weight in his hands. Grunting as veins popped up on his forehead, his head only counting the mere digits, until he hit the hundreds. Setting the dumbbell again, he grabbed a towel nearby to wipe his body, his face and his hands. “Ero-cook better not be using my sake for cooking again, I swear to god I’ll slice him down today,” rocking his head side-to-side to emit cracking throughout his spine. “Maybe a jug of sake, along with a nap amongst the trees would be nice,” Zoro smiled, getting excited by the moment. His sweat mixed with a subtle smell of testosterone claimed the workout room.

“Zoro?”

“Huh?” He glanced lazily at the door, only to see the frame of Y/N holding the door handle, leaning forward, wearing a tube top, shorts that begs the eyes to imagine how plush the thighs that restrict it are like. “Oh, you are here,” not even bothering to see what she wanted.

“Sanji said snack time,” her voice high-pitched to sound convincing to her partner, this time around anyway. He raised his brow, his forehead slightly shining from where he missed the sweat on his brow.

“Did he ask me to come? Or did he bribe you to make me eat his food?” Slowly turning away, grabbing his top, sash and swords to wrap up everything, hinting he would be leaving to go elsewhere. The girl hesitated, rubbing her arm to ease the awkwardness of his question. Her silence was deafening, with only his steady breathing finally getting into pace. “That’s what I thought, he tantalizes you with food I see? Did he attempt to flirt with you this time?” Crossing her arms, she pouted, she leaned against the frame to support her weight.

“He doesn’t flirt with me, he merely compliments me. He knows that I am with you,” she stated a-matter-a-factly. Zoro merely shrugged and rolled his right eye.

“Same thing, complimenting and flirting are the same,” trying not to think about her words, cutting deep into his mind. Stupid cook, he thought. Turning around to slowly take his time to the doorframe, to nearly bodycheck Y/N, but stopped right in front of her small frame. It was as if he stared right past her, or at least, he didn’t want to look at her eyes. “I’mma go shower, so if you wanna see me afterwards, just wait on the deck.” Her nose wrinkled as she faltered a little, trying to take a small step back. She stood on her tiptoes to compete against his blank stare, nearly centimeters apart.

“No, it is called appreciation Zoro. Something that you lack sometimes,” her breath smelled of cherries, her skin smelled of seashells, she must have been playing on the beach with some of the crew. Whom, he didn’t really care about at that moment. Zoro reached out and grabbed her shoulder, so small in his hand as if she was glass. Gently pushing her aside to make room for just him to not bump into her body. “A compliment or two doesn’t hurt does it?”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” as he walked past her. “A quick shower, and I’ll see you on deck, got it?” Ruffling his sweaty hair, spreading his scent throughout the hallway. Zoro wanted to show his affection the way he normally does, but he didn’t want those words to lose meaning if he used it frequently. Such a pain in the ass, he thought of stripping off his clothes and quickly showering to get into the bathtub to relax his muscles. There were definitely moments where he ruffled her hair, poking their cheek to see their cute pout; even bantering to try and see her think up of all the reasons he was being wrong or annoying. Zoro never wanted to give her extreme favoritism just because they are their girlfriend. However, there are moments when he knows what he is doing is cold. Especially when she stands next to Sanji calling him muscle head, moss head and lower bounty. The only time when it was low was when he was at Wano, and he hates that Y/N rubs that in his face. Quickly climbing out of the tub, his head was heavy with thoughts. “Maybe a jug or two should be fine before I meet up with Y/N for a little day drinking, right?” Groaning to mentally prepare for potentially seeing an angry cook guarding the pantry again like last time.

There was a set of shorts and a loose Hawaiian shirt, waiting for it to envelop his muscles. He quickly slipped the shorts on, tying the swords to his hip as he walked down the hall while putting on each sleeve as his feet led him straight to the kitchen. Luckily, his favorite cook was not there gatekeeping the sake pantry. Flinging open the wooden door, he saw his favorite sake, but also another small bottle. Frosted glass with no grains at the bottom of the bottle, he couldn’t read the label, but maybe he could just take a small sniff. Uncorking it, he could smell the strong aroma of alcohol, with a hint of berries, it was something different. “Well, this will do for now I guess,” grabbing the neck of the bottle and capping it.

“Really?” Anger was in her voice as she stared at his swords hanging at the belt along with the bottle of liquor in his hand. “Did you get lost on the Sunny-Go this time?”

“No no, I just had to make a quick pitstop,” Zoro couldn’t look her in the eye, he hates confrontation when she is angry. It didn’t process that he truly fucked up until he took a quick glance at her. Everyone on the ship knew not to mess with any of the crewmates when they were angry, especially the duo who could shock a bunch of enemies down to their knees. “So, that walk,” walking off the ship to land on the sand of the beach.

“Why? We are only going to get lost,” Y/N said with a hiss. 

“What, you don’t trust me?” Turning to try to catch a glimpse of his girl. She followed suit to prove him wrong, but her pupils shot daggers into his eye.

“Idiot,” she said under her breath. As they were leaving, Sanji was yelling at everyone to find an expensive bottle of something. Something about 80-proof something, whatever that means.

“We went that way!”

“But we just came from that way!” Shit, we followed her directions and we got lost. There was no way he was going to let them get anymore lost. Fuck, now we are arguing now he thought. “Had we followed my entire path, we wouldn’t have gotten lost.” Almost sneering, but sighed. Both of you are bad with directions, especially when all the trees look the exact same, the leaves, height of the trunks, undisturbed grass that swayed in the wind as if no one had already walked this path before.

“Listen, let's just take a break, you and I. It’s already dark out, so it will be hard to see soon,” Zoro said as calmly as possible, almost seeing something in the distance, the swordsman tried to confirm it. “Hey, is that a house?” Y/N looked and could see something in the distance as well. They both ran to the small building, making sure it was exactly what they both saw. 

“Well, we still need to finish that bottle you brought along don’t we?”

It wasn’t long until he checked the house out to find out it was abandoned for a long time, yet everything functioned within the home. “Yeah yeah, sit your ass down and we can start to drink.”

“I don’t typically drink-”

“Yeah yeah, I’m going to drink it for you, so don’t worry,” Zoro announced as he popped off the cork, gulping the forbidden water from the bottle straight. Y/N sighed as she sat on the bed nearby, listening to him quench his thirst. “This shit is so great! No wonder that swirlbrow was hiding it.” 

“You can’t handle me regardless if you were drunk or sober. You couldn’t even look in the eye,” teasing him in a competitive manner. “Besides, I am always in control here. Not you.” Zoro swirled the last bit of the sake into his lip, emptying the bottle clean. There was something that aggravated him just now. It's not true, not at all in fact. They both were in control of the relationship, not just her.

“That’s not-”

“I would never beg for you ever,” a smirk forming on her lips as she crossed her legs. Zoro lunged at Y/N, pinning her down on the old creaky bed, almost breaking on the weight of his body and hard palms.

“Shut up…slut, I can make you beg all night if I wanted you to,” Zoro locking his right hand around her neck, pressing harder than normal in a way that he could feel her twitch. “Now take your words back,” he snarled. Zoro’s nails tearing the sheets beside her body. “I said, take your words back, brat.” Y/N didn’t falter, just staring at him back, almost spitting back at him. In fact, she challenged him, tilting her up her jaw to compete with his glare.

“I refuse to let you win,” a smile creeping onto her lips. “Let’s see how long it will take for you to give up, lower-bounty,” whispering oh so softly to his face. His grip tightened a little, hitching her breath a little.

“Oh is that so?” Zoro raised his eyebrow, wedging his thigh between her clothed core, moving it up slightly to see what she would do. Y/N’s hips hesitated to meet the friction between her legs, nearly giving in. There was no way she was going to give in easily. Both of them were so similar, even their competitiveness was almost matched, almost. “Did you try to move, my little brat?”

“Your little brat? Thought you implied I was flirting with Sanji,” Zoro’s grip loosened a little, of course he didn’t want to hurt Y/N at all, but surely he wanted to teach her a lesson about talking back to him. With his right hand, he flipped her over and yanked down her shorts, revealing her plump cheeks, slapping it to see it bounce. Y/N yelped, almost moaning with her breath wavering to prevent it from giving away that she didn’t want to admit she was enjoying it. They both knew she was stubborn, but sooner or later, one of them would admit defeat. Landing another slap on her cheek again, her yelp got stifled when she stuffed her face into the pillow.

“I know you like this, slut.” She propped up her head to catch a glance at her man rubbing his hand over her ass, soothing the sting that had slowly been fading.

“Oh, so you do want me to flirt back with Sanji? Oh, I see I see,” there it was again, teasing him like the brat she was. “Guess he was right.” 

“What was he right about, slut?” Zoro questioned, as he gripped her thighs, his fingers hooking onto his shorts, waiting to see what her answer was. Her eyes gazed deep into his, and she parted her lips to only say one thing.

“He could have pleasured me better.” Zoro had enough lip, he took his hand and slapped the right ass cheek almost as hard as he could. Y/N yelped in pain, feeling the heat radiate from her ass, not wanting to submit to his aggression. “Z-zoro-,” her voice muffled into the pillow. There was no way she was going to give up with just some hits to her ass. Y/N wanted to win this game more than anything. “If you think that is all it will take-” His wrist snapped, wrapping around her throat, squeezing enough to make her gasp, his other hand near her jaw, rough pads trying to trespass into her lip.

“You're going to keep talking back, maybe let's make use of those whorish mouth of yours,” prodding at the corners of her lips. There was a little give to her lips as her pink lips parted, there was an opening to allow his fingers to enter. Swirling of the tongue around his fingers to show a little bit of obedience. “Oh that’s my girl.” Zoro was finally waiting for that moment of giving. “For a little reward, maybe you’ll get something better to lick on,” Y/N moaned around his fingers, saliva nearly drooling onto her jaw, as Zoro pulled out his pointer and index finger. Still grasping onto her neck, his other hand trailed down to tease at her pussy. “So wet for me. Or is that something you are going to say wasn’t what I did?” She was slowly starting to succumb to his teasing, she hates losing but she knows too well how well he treated her in bed.

“Oh Zoro…” her vocal chords pulsing into his palm, he could feel every word, anticipating her next words. “Are you trying to please me just to prove your point?” Her mouth was still talking shit it seemed. There was a pause, it was true, he does love pleasing her, but he wanted to see if he could test her limit. He was in control here, his goal was to win this little banter. His fingers entered her core, the sound of her wetness dripping out as her soft moan escaped her lips.

“Your lips never lie when I touch…here,” as his thumb circles the bundle of nerves. Y/N’s back arched, the sheer amount of pleasure too much to hide as her moans reverb off the walls. She grit her teeth, but it was way too much as her body started to tremble, that sweet spot causing this warm sensation deep within.

“Zoro I-!” Y/N moaned loudly as her body shook, her walls clenching his hardened fingers to signal her final release. Zoro, of course, was elated, but still had a point to prove.

“Did I say you could cum?” His fingers dipping out of her cunt and up to his own lips. The taste of her was addicting, as if he wanted to dive into her and eat her like it was his last cup of sake. He saw her small eyes now looking at him, she looked so small and docile now. Her head shook, but he wanted a definite answer. “Did I say you could cum, slut?” His hand around her throat released as a gasp of air filled her lungs. There was a small mumble, but he wasn’t having any of that tonight. The smell of sweat and drunken fighting swirled around the atmosphere. “Speak up, you know I can’t hear you.”

“No…”

“No who?” He demanded.

“No Zoro, you didn’t.” Y/N was starting to waiver, closer and closer.

Zoro won.

“Good,” his voice was so drall, thick and rough. “Now…” his calloused hands grasped Y/N’s waist, making sure her body was perfectly aligned with the bed beneath. Stripping of her tube top as if it was hiding more treasure. “I guess it’s time to claim my prize, is that right babe?” Y/N caught her breath, her brain was beyond muddled with thoughts. What was this feeling? It was nothing she felt before. Zoro waited, and waited, making sure there was a sign that he didn’t overdo it. “Oh little babe,” his fingers traced Y/N’s jaw gently to find some sort of sign if Y/N was okay, as the alcohol seemed to be slowly wearing off. 

“C…claim me, please, its not enough,” her voice was so soft, needy, as if this was something she yearned for. Zoro hesitated, as he wanted to see how far she wanted him. “Please, love.” He couldn’t wait, nearly ripping everything off, he teased his head right at her entrance, Y/N’s arms flew up in the air to grasp the broad man above her.

“Hm…I don’t know,” the swordsman teased, rubbing her entrance up and down, “it’s supposed to be my prize, but then again…” entering her in one swift movement, he was stretching her out subtly. His fingers did enough of the work that Y/N moaned out and grabbed onto Zoro’s shoulders. “Fuck, so tight for me babe,” his voice growling as one hand grabbed her right breast, kneeding the nipple every so often to hear her forbidden sounds.

“Zoro, love, please. Right there!” He could see her eyes, her pretty eyes, the view was sinful. Sanji could never see this, and he couldn’t help but admit to himself that he gets jealous that Sanji could dish out comments to make Y/N feel good about herself. However, he knew this side of Y/N was for him and for him only. Zoro leaned down to kiss Y/N, as his thrusts got sloppier and sloppier. There was a twitching feeling he could feel within his veins. “I’m going to cum!” 

“Fuck, me too babe-” as he slammed his hips right into his partners. Both harmonizing as they finish, skin meeting as the slickness of sweat and his seed mixed. Zoro couldn’t help but feel a little dizzy, as he nearly collapsed right on top of his girlfriend. His arms trying to wrap around his exhausted girl, pulling up the sheets below to cover their naked bodies. Y/N was still trembling from the high, but soon was steady in his arms. “Thanks…Y/N. I...love...you”

“Oi, Zoro!”

“Hm?” Zoro grumbled from bed, his head still a little groggy. The air smelled still sweaty, and stale. His head wasn’t ringing, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little exasperated. “What…” Getting up what the commotion was about. The sheets fluttered off, revealing his bare skin to the cold air. Zoro realized that he still wasn’t clothed, as he picked up his garments off the floor and put them on. Y/N walked in and looked away shyly, but tried to look at his figure.

“Your shorts are on inside out, first of all,” Y/N pointing straight to his legs. Fuck. Turning around and taking them off, just to readjust them and put them back on. “Also….thousand sunny is right behind this cabin….” Zoro’s eyes widened, nearly popping out of his skull.

“W…What now?” Nearly shoving his girlfriend away from the window, sure enough, the cabin overlooked the waters, showing the cute little lion face of the thousand sunny looking away from them. “Ah…well, at least that ero-cook will know that I am the one that can make you blush the most now.” A smirk beaming on his face. “What do you say? Round two? To prove my point of course” Y/N sighed and slapped his arm.

“You wish!” There was the girl he knew. “Last one on the ship has to help Sanji clean the dishes!” Zoro made a break to the door, just as Y/N was going to leave the cabin. This was the one time he was going to make Y/N lose just so he can potentially punish her again.

[shopcat]

i've actually made this post before somewhere but i'll make it again because i want to 🫡 i think the phrase "slutty little waist" has caused irreparable damage to a lot of people's minds (being dramatic btw) and pushed harmful thinking relating to skinniness = sexiness, even if it's unintentional... intention isn't really the point when imo and ime the way people talk about this so called trait tends to reflect from a mirror of conventionally attractive typical (cis) bodies where the defining feature is thinness/"fitness" -_-

saying that you're really into the typical broad shouldered v-shaped body and tapered waist is not actually like, subversive at all 😭 and on the inverse it's very indicative of the root of this issue that when i like search the phrase on pinterest or whatever i get borderline bodychecking/thinspo content as well where shrink wrapped skinniness has once again become a desirable trait repackaged in false projections of subversiveness/atypicality ... imo it's not necessarily the phrasing here nor the mindset of it all (i Love grab his waist and twirl him around...) but the idea of what that means to some people is really... warped. everyone on earth HAS a waistline and can therefore Have a slutty waist if they so want.

i also think an anatomy refresher is due to be honest because some people are straight up WRONG and i don't think it'll hurt... i study anatomy amateurly as an artist so i'm no expert lol 😭 but ok.

1st of all what people call the "waist" here isn't particularly accurate in a lot of cases. your natural waist is the smallest part of your torso, on some bodies, where it dips in the most, usually under your ribcage/above the hip. what people are usually talking about here are like, hips? the general hip area? (i can see what's happening here because the waistline does usually mark where the "smallness" begins in the typical examples, but it doesn't have to be all \ /-> | | you know.)

your torso is made up of a lot of muscles and fat that sit in different ways, and other than your spine, your hip bone is the only bone in all that meat and helps give shape to your body. i've marked ROUGHLY whereabouts the waistline (red) and hip line (blue) are on these bodies:

in all that is this screepy thing...

who also helps create my second favourite part of the human body (the hip dip <3). it's not lost on me that what a lot of people mean when they talk about this trait looks something like the bottom right figure above, but it doesn't HAVE TO BE... is what i mean. i'm saying all this anatomically because i think it's helpful to know what actually goes on in people's bodies in order to not glorify the single, typical (cis) men's glamourised body type of: shrink wrapped + water deficient + abs + broad shoulders + a pronounced latissimus dorsi (the "dorito" shape) and a tapered waistline that goes straight down. any of these features can be applied to multiple bodies but to focus on the waistline itself is crazy to me because it can look like anything in those images above.

now obv there is nothing WRONG with any of the body types mentioned and you're allowed to like whatever you want but projecting a specific kind of body as the only desirable thing with specific wording and an invisible barrier keeping pretty much every single other person out is... corny and rude and stupid. and pushing skinniness as the only hot thing is obviously harmful and stupid.

and most of all it is WRONG because and i will repeat this until i die: Every body type on earth has a waist, no matter how pronounced or not, and it can be hot or sexy or whatever. if you want. honestly to me the phrase has always applied to any kind of man or woman or oyster and Only applies to the waistline dip, and the beautiful thing about the waistline dip is it can be on any body and fatness is heavily happily included in that o_<✌️also i forgot to say but love handles are literally half of the entire point of living and love handles and wide hips and fat on your hips and stomach in general rules and not only should be included in this phenomenon but ARE... how are you going to have a slutty little waist if there's no love handles to cushion it. idiot. if nothing i've ever said is important let this be ☝️

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I'm relapsing. The worst is that I am actively making choices that are leading to self destruction. It's like I can see myself from the outside and do all these stupid things fully knowing it's not good, but I still let it happen.

I'm searching for th-nspø a lot, and I let myself get triggered by emaciated and dying body, consumed by jealousy. I think ultimately, I just want to exist less. I struggle a lot with self worth and self love, and feel like I don't deserve anything.

It's a problem that is getting heavy: I ask the permission for everything as if I was not capable or worthy of taking decisions or being my own person (asking if I can drink, look at something, go in my room, go to the toilets...). And I only feel relaxed or at least at peace when I self destruct (exhausting myself by exercising, restricting my food intake...)

I started taking bodychecks pictures again yesterday and making a bunch of rules I have to follow in my notes (such as walking several hours a day, drinking a lot of water when I'm hungry, exercise more....).

Relapsing feels like coming home, even tho the home isn't safe or peaceful, it's still home. It's is comforting and reassuring even if I'm ashamed to admit that I long for this control. I seem to not be able to find the strenght to even WANT or DECIDE to recover, despite ongoing health problems caused by my ed (acidic reflux, pains in articulation and muscles, loss of teeth, non functionning immunitary system, nauseas, dizziness...).

How do I find a reason or the strenght to recover ? I feel like it's not worth it and it's much easier to slip back into what I know and do best.

Anon, I know it's taken me a while to get to this ask, but I am glad you felt you were able to honestly share all of this. I believe you're not alone in feeling that way, especially when you say that relapsing feels like coming home, that the disordered behaviors are the only thing that help you feel right.

I think I get it. If you were suffering for a long time, even before you had an eating disorder, you're very used to suffering and being unwell. It's hard to work toward the feeling of actually having long-lasting wellness when you don't even remember what that wellness feels like.

I think right now, just try and keep taking things in baby steps, even if you do have backslides sometimes. Try and be gentle with yourself, and remind yourself that by even thinking of trying to heal, you're doing something really hard and revolutionary for yourself.

It's hard to fight for wellness when you feel you don't deserve it. What can you do to fight for that feeling? What can you do to reinforce feelings of wellness and worth? Can you maybe take a little time to take a hot bath, make yourself a cup of tea, buy yourself a small treat?

Perhaps when you're craving to self-destruct the most, try to maintain neutrality rather than focusing on levels of wellness that feel unattainable. So if you can't feel good about your body, maybe refrain from looking up thinspo or doing those body-check pics. When the urge has passed - and it will pass, even if it comes back - remember to praise yourself genuinely for your efforts. If you do backslide, respond with kindness to yourself. Speaking to yourself like you're just a person who's having a hard time and deserves compassion might be foundational. Perhaps you could write down something kind that you would say to a dear friend who was in your situation, and then practice saying all that to yourself? You've got to reaffirm your worth to be able to treat yourself like you honestly deserve wellness - and you do, whether you're able to believe that right now or not.

[yuujispinkhair]

hehe can I ask for them all in the WIP game? FR tho im intrigued by the first one "how it all started"!

OMGGG I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ALL OF MY WIPs!!! That's so sweet!!

Ok, here is a snippet of how our story with Hockey player!Sukuna started:

"I.. oh damn, I'm so sorry! I was late to class, so I ran and…" Sukuna just eyes you with an amused expression on his tattooed face. Those maroon eyes travel lazily over your face and your body and back up to your face again to rest on your sheepish smile for a moment and then gaze directly into your eyes, making your pulse flutter nervously. He shrugs, and the left corner of his lips lift in a smirk, "I don't mind when I get bodychecked by a pretty girl like you. It would be different if it were an opponent on the ice, but you will get away with it."

I am so excited to work on this awww!! Thank you so much for the ask 💗💗

And I'll give you a random snippet from one of the other WIPs too!! Here is a little something from Dirty Pretty Beautiful:

You love these quiet moments when you can witness the twins being nice to each other. Yuuji is lounging on the couch watching a movie, and Sukuna's head is resting in his brother's lap. He's scrolling through his phone while Yuuji's fingers run absentmindedly through Sukuna's hair. It makes you stand there with the biggest stupid smile because they look so cute, and it's nice to see them get along. Your boys. It makes you walk over to them and kiss both of them.

Once again, thank you so much!! I am sending you lots of love 💗💗

[skittidyne]

if the cast of htkg gets stranded somewhere w no food who is the first to suggest cannibalism and who is the first to get cannibalized?

vivienne is the one who suggests it 10 minutes in as a joke(?). hell she probably suggested it on the ride that crashed or however they got stuck there.

but hmmmm time for bullet points! my beloved

if thomas is there he and vivienne are pointing fingers at each other and shrieking "THAT ONE THAT ONE THAT ONE" the entire time everyone else debates calmly/tearfully

dana is the one who has read an uncomfortable amount of stranded/disaster/the rook stories and is the first to point out the logistics of it, but not the first to make the Serious Suggestion

i don't see how she'd be this stupid but i think it'd be really really funny if christine tearfully volunteered to get eaten and someone had to quietly take her aside and go "sweetie no. you're not corporeal we can't eat you"

actually emil/christine/kirara are probably too lucky and avoid this mess entirely. (i don't know how dana doesn't avoid it, then. i like her nerdiness coming out in this dark way too much.)

like dana comes into this conversation with FOOTNOTES.

codi and thomas, the ones who kill Many Things for a living but never butcher them, just kinda shrug and nod and go "yeah that makes sense" when dana points out how careful they would have to be with a body to preserve it for food rather than just murdering someone for funsies

sam probably opens his mouth to volunteer and isaac bodychecks him to keep him down and out of the conversation for the rest of the night. isaac would be very pro-cannibalism of other people but no one's getting a two-for-one special on his watch.

you can't eat demons anyway, even if you could safely drain them of their blood

also. ngl. the whole bad luck thing kinda means vivienne would do it, but she can't die, sooooooo.

"well why can't we just cut off an arm or two instead? we don't have to KILL a person" "and let them bleed to death? we have no real medical supplies either" and meanwhile isaac is like "my time has come" (bc cauterization)

actually this scenario would have to have all of the nonhumans (aside from sam) kept away because otherwise they would be way too into eating the humans and there wouldn't even be a debate. they'd just pick a person and go to town. the extra funny part being that it would take weeks before a spirit would get to that starving desperation level versus how quickly a human would

mark probably gets killed and eaten first just for being so damn annoying and no one wants to deal with a mindreader when they're all stuck in Dark Thought town, anyway. if brynja is there, she probably kills everyone else in a fit of rage. if brynja is not there, she will kill everyone else in a fit of rage later.

man this could get really fucked up really fast if megan was there; they really could just start carving hunks and limbs off of each other and just heal the wound to stop death. good ending, maybe? or more horrifying? (mark probably still gets killed for being so damn annoying.)

[burnthecitynoise]

"ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?" - KQ RP

The train was late. Again.

Saana pressed out her maroon-tinted lips, twirling the string of her headphones around her black-coated fingernails. The heavy sounds of the mixtape she burned this morning continued to buzz in her ear -- making her legs bounce up and down in a mixture of impatience and stamina. Saana woke up at 8.30 to put this thing together—Deftones, Type O Negative, and all the King Crimson she could handle. Saana wanted to check with Darrell to make sure it was okay to play in the shop. When he said no, she took it for herself. No fucking use wasting a good mixtape on a shithole record store. Not even if she did like working there 10 hours a week with shit pay. 

The clock kept ticking, and the sounds of 21 Century Schizoid Man rang in her ears. 

"I'm going to fucking kill Darrell." 

It was his fault that she was late getting to the train. She came in late 10 mins late. Who the fuck cares? Her feet were wrecked walking to the school, the prison, and then the shop. Cut her some fucking slack. Going to prison was probably the biggest mistake. The guard told her that her mum would probably be in lockdown for another month. Another one of the girls bodychecked her -- called her the Eastman Escort, and mum took her the fuck down. Allegedly, the woman had her front tooth knocked out. She bit her tongue so hard that it bled. She also had four broken fingers. She had a ruptured spleen and a bootlace tied around her neck. Mum refused to take credit for the ruptured spleen. 

"That was God's fault, you dirty bitch." 

No visitors for a month. 

Solitary confinement for two if she misbehaved again. 

Gotta love my mummy, she thought, pressing her lips up into a little smirk. 

Saana kept twirling her fingers along the headphone strings impatiently, knowing there would be no way this train would come in the promised time. 

"7:30, my fucking ass." 

Saana's eyes glanced around, knowing already that she was the only one at this train station that was still stupid enough to believe it would run efficiently, but alas, it decided to fuck her once again. 

As her eyes continued to glance, she took in her home for the millionth time. Eastman was a pretty unspectacular place -- a seaside town that lacked charm but made itself up with over seven murders. The biggest one included her mother, but we are still preparing for that story. 

"Fuck this." 

Saana grabbed her bag, opening the patched adorned flap to take out her CD case. She flipped through the contents, pulling on a single King Crimson album that Darrell specifically saved for her - Red. Her fingers went to work, putting the CD and the other in the case. She stuffed both the CD player and case back in her bag. Saana huffed, tossing the heavy load on her back before crossing the tracks and heading home. 

The walk would be short, at least another 10 mins on a night like this. At least the air was cool, the vibes in her headphones were right, and she had the perfect amount of protection... just in case.

As Saana's boots hit the beginning of the pier, she turned every so often, feeling the lingering presence of someone falling behind her. As she hit the third light post along the pier, she stopped. Brown eyes glancing from one side to the other along the empty pier. Her fingers notched up against her headphones, pulling one ear back to hear. 

"Mmm." 

Saana turned, her boots continuing their heavy stomp on the wooden boards of the pier. She moved her fingertips into her leader jacket, pushing a metal object into her hands and holding it there. If there was someone behind her, anyone behind her, she knew what to do. 

[strawberrycalx]

casual bodychecks before bed, i love this pj set ♡

however i gained 2.5lbs because of a binge and relapse cycle 👎 im on the right track again tho, im starting a 24 hr fast to ease me back into it so i dont binge again and started cleaning my room so i can work out again :DD stupid endos can kiss my ass

[trashfireb]

There’s this girl i used to go to high school with who i still follow on instagram and the stuff she posts is lowkey so triggering lol

Since graduating high school, she’s been on this ‘fitness journey’ and posting about it daily.

She complains day in and day out about being underweight and wanting to gain weight, emphasizes that the reason she goes to the gym 6-7 times a week is to ‘build muscle’ and then posts her little meals and it’s all super low-cal foods and the portions are smaller than what you would give to an average toddler.

She also posts very literal bodychecks of her ‘gains’ every single day even though there’s no gaining happening anywhere in the vicinity.

•

To be clear, the thing that infuriates me isn’t people posting about ed behaviors, hell, be as pro-ana as you want for all i give a shit. But be upfront about it. Be honest for fucks sake.

It annoys me to no end seeing people do shit like this, knowing exactly what they’re doing but acting stupid about it because they want the validation.

And the best thing to do in these instances is to just ignore them and not give them what they want, but that’s impossible when the normies fall for it every single goddamn time.

And so their comments are flooded with compliments from blissfully ignorant bystanders or comments of concern, desperate to make them realize what they’re ‘unknowingly’ doing to themselves.

Both of which, are greatly appreciated by the person orchestrating this whole thing.

So they just act stupid for as long as possible and keep pushing the boundary of what they can say and post while remaining ‘innocently unaware’.

•

*cough*eugeniacooney*cough*

And many more because tiktok is a breeding ground for these fucking people.

Also the freelee the banana girl people from back in the day who decided to stick to their shenanigans and are still going at it on instagram.

And let’s not forget the newly arising fasting community cause who doesn’t love ‘starvation september’ amiright?

[organicwhore]

it’s hard to recover with gender dysphoria bc it feels like, what’s the point… you’ll just be fat and feminine again. your face gets rounder, your curves fill out, you still can’t stand the look of your body, everything is still so fucked up and there’s nothing you can do about it because you can’t zap your fingers and be born male. i mean, you can start lifting. i’m sure that’s what most do. that’s what i did before i fucked up my shoulder.

but that’s the best you can get. swapping calories for macros and beating your body up so you can feel some kind of control again. you’ll stand in front of the mirror, pulling at your bits of fat and doing the same stupid bodycheck poses you did at peak ana, until one day you say “fuck it. i miss being skinny.” and you’re right back at square one.

[nat4eros]

Just had a masive binge before my bodycheck, omg how am i so stupid

[crossbackpoke-check]

I was reading through your old reblogs and sage to say the tags you put on the Oilers shower post are amazing and I would love to read something like that!!

Copying and pasting the tags here (the blue text is the part I was talking about but I left the preceding tags for context if that makes sense?):

#there's another shower right next to the sitting shower 9 is it in the front corner of the picture? is that little glass alcove the entrance #to get in? like there's also horny potential for somebody in the big empty open space & somebody waiting to come in hesitating but you can #see their shadow & their silhouette in the glass the one outside the door knowing that the other is inside all alone showering but still not #coming in because they're giving them privacy etc being the last ones out & this doesn't feel like a connor/leon thing so maybe it's going #in the vague yamo pile but whoever's in the big shower room all alone jerking off & narrating & god knows sound would carry inside that #space & it could be that whoever's outside the door forgot something in there (left soap etc etc) & just happened to walk in on it (and/or #on whatever is going on in the shower stall) & can hear but can't see them but they can see them & can tell that they're watching/listening #through the frosted glass anyway ALSO what i was trying to get to with nuge/yamo (Imao i don't even think i said nuge at first) was like. #omega yamo who goes into heat/is playing through it & yamo gets ejected from the game with the narrative of nuge five for fighting for #defending him (maybe it's the end of the third maybe it's the second & nuge gets a 10 minute major & yamo gets pulled for a concussion check #because of the hit & then the doctors are like Imao stupid no you can't go back out you're in heat [yamo saw nuge fight for him 00] so the #two of them end up in there alone i like the middle of the second bc then nobody's there & wont be for a minute actually) but it's yamo in #the big open space & nuge outside the door checking to make sure he's okay & thinking that he'll be fine he can control it yamo won't smell #because he's in the showers nuge'll just bury his face in soap nuge waiting politely outside the door & yamo is being a MENACE. ohhhhh we're #gonna have to do research but what was the injury that yamo was out for be the original gifset that started this... this is the inciting event #yamo has been bullying nuge for AGES & by god he's gonna get what he wants even if it takes jerking off in the oilers home showers to bait #nuge into doing it. nuge like 'you ok?' has a conversation with yamo etc nuge: 'you gonna be ok to make it home' & yamo says yeah but not

If you were referring to the time Nuge fought Holl, it was a because Yamo took a bodycheck up high and he had to be taken back for concussion protocol just to be safe

^^^real life footage of me receiving and reading this ask 🥺🥰 i would ALSO love to read a fic like that akdhskdjak, but getting this ask made me actually start a doc for omega yamo being a nuisance so thank you (also if you wanted more vague thoughts, here’s the original gifset i reference)

i think i know exactly which fight you mean!! and i think it is saved in my drafts with unhinged thoughts waiting to be released 😇 if i’m right, this is a video that i had to save multiple times on multiple platforms because it was Important To Me

[lqnar]

i genuinely feel like i look fatter than i did when i was 5 kg heavier

[venus-in-tears]

I honestly hate my body. I wish I could just cut all that fat off.