#so like did anyone else get super excited for a dance scene considering all the fucking dance metaphors??? hello

[hastor]

safest place in the world

[chronosaurusnot]

VIP boy

pairing: dom!bangchan x bratty sub!reader

genre: smut

word count: 2.1k

warnings: +18, night club, mentions of alcohol, teasing (with minho), jealousy, possessiveness, bratty behavior, explicit sexual content, bathroom sex, choking, pet names, degrading, slight humiliation, fingering, oral sex (m), rough sex, unprotected sex (stay safe please), cumming, creampie

note: so the original idea was a request from my friend about chan in a night club, but after that teaser i can't get out of my mind that scene of him choking hyunjin from behind. so, this is a mix of both things, i hope you like it!

as always, i’d like to clarify that english is not my first language, so please let me know if there are any mistakes, and feel free to give me suggestions<3

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you ended up in the night club again with your friends; another night when you don’t know why you are there. it’s been a rough week, full of work and with stressful exams, so your friends insisted on getting you out to distress yourself a little bit. but between the time you’ve spent on getting ready plus all the sweaty people pushing you all around right now, you could swear you would’ve been better in your bed watching a movie or something, or even sleeping. it’s been already an hour maybe? you don’t know so you go straight to the bar to get some drink to see if time gets faster; hopefully it’ll make you less grumpy.

but when you are there, you see him on the vip section of the first floor. chan is there with his friends, talking and looking good as he always does. you start feeling like the night could maybe get a little more interesting, but when you get to see him talking with a girl that feeling changes to anger. sure, you agreed on being friends with benefits -if that was even a title or smt- so you both could be with anyone else you wanted, always respecting each other. so if he didn’t know you were there, in the same way you didn’t know he was coming too, it was okay if he wanted to be with someone else, right? but all the logic didn’t seem to care to your emotions, because you were now in a horrible mood.

you took your drink from the bar and drank it in less than a minute without taking your eyes off him and that girl. that dumb girl, she really thinks he’s hers tonight. but it’s stupid to feel like fighting over a man, so you get your mind clear and go back with your friends to tell them what you just saw to laught about it.

but when you look up again, you see chris leaning on the railing looking at you. he smiles when he notices your stare and waves at you, and after you wave back he makes gestures to let you know you can go there with them. you really wanted to play hard but you go there with your friends, following his instructions like a puppy obeys his owner.

“hey princess, you didn’t tell me you were coming” he greets you with a smile on his face. “yeah, the girls insisted on going out to destress a little bit, but i think i would have been better sleeping” you answer, trying to hide your growing excitement to see him there. “oh don’t be grumpy y/n, it’s early, we can still have a good night” he said in a cute and smirky way, an attitude that you hated and loved at the same time.

“yes i see you were already having a good time” you answer, and chris looks kinda confused. you point with your eyes to the girl he has been talking to, and he smirks at your reaction. “don’t be jealous princess, i was just talking”

you rolled your eyes at his stupid answer, and he just smiles. you hated how flirty he was and his fuck boy vibes, but there was something about him that eventually made you like him; maybe way too much. it all started as just a sex partner, but since day one you discover he was actually a super sweet, caring and fun guy, so you got really atractted to him in a matter of time. friends with benefits sounded right for both of you, but you always wanted more from him. maybe it’s his fault, cause he’s always giving you everything you want, but not only sexually; he is a pleasant man, you know he would give and do anything for his girl. and you wanted to be that girl. his only one.

and especially tonight. how could someone be so fine? he was all in black as always: black pants, black leather jacket and a black silk shirt that let you see his whole chest. “what a fucking fuck boy” you said to yourself, trying to hate him.

“what do you wanna drink, babygirl?” chan said, bringing you back from your thoughts. “your favourite one?” he continued while taking off his wallet from his pocket. you knew he was just doing it to show his hands; chan knew exactly the power his hands hold on you.

“yes, please” he smiles at your answer and goes to the bar for your drink.

but as soon as he goes, minho comes to you. “come on change that shitty face and dance a little y/n” he says while grabbing you from your arms to force you to dance with him. he takes you maybe way too closer to his body considering he is chris’s friend. but you think to yourself that maybe it’s a good idea; using this to get chan’s attention, to look at you, to make him jealous, and taking advantage to dance with a man so fine like minho. you wouldn’t be with him, sure, he is his friend; but it would be nice to at least flirt with him a little bit.

you sincerely got lost while dancing with him, so close to each other; till you notice chan looking at you both while leaning on the railing with the two cups on his hands. he looks at you in a challenging way, like wanting to see how far you can go.

and you accept the challenge, getting minho even closer to your body without cutting the eye contact with chris; you can see how his eyes turned darker, and you just smirk at his reaction. you dance a couple more minutes with minho, his hands on your waist, yours on his neck; after deciding it was enough teasing, you go back to chan playing the innocent. “he was helping me to cut out the bad mood, he’s so sweet. thank you for the drink channie”

“yeah i see, you should hang out with him.” he answers, his look darker; you prouder. “oh you think so? i mean, he seems to want to help me out to not be bored.” you answer, loving to see how your dumb plan worked.

“oh you just want to have fun, mh?” he says in a dark way, making you feel nervous and taking a big sip from your drink. “i know a place when you could have fun”.

you finished your drink in a couple of seconds, so he just takes your cup away from your hand. “why don’t you follow me, princess?”

he lefts the cups in the table, and takes you by the hand to guide you through the place. he talked to you calmly, but you knew he wasn’t not only because of the way he looked at you, but also cause he was holding you rough.

“get in, princess” chris says, letting you place to came in the bathroom. you get shocked; is a public space, but you are feeling so aroused with this situation that you just got in. chan locks the door behind you and turns you around to put you against it, resting his hand above you.

“you’ve been such a bratty, babygirl” he says, using his free hand to caress your cheek, slowly moving down to your neck. “if you were just bored, you should have told me instead of acting like a slut with my friend” chan continues while adding pressure on your neck, making you shut your legs from the feeling. he notices it and smirks in a mocking way. “are you already turned on, y/n? are you that desperate?”

he keeps on adding pressure, driving you crazy. you felt your panties getting wetter as every second passed by. so you decided to keep pushing his limits. “you’re not the only one who pays attention to me, chris. you should try better” his smile turns devilish.

“do you want me to remind you how good i fuck you, y/n?” he keeps choking you, but uses his other hand to touch you under your skirt. “do you want me to remind you whose name you repeat endless times while moaning?” he moves your panties to a side and start touching your pussy while still choking you, making you moan at the feeling of his cold hands rubbing against your clit. he laughs mockingly again at your desperate face.

“did you get this wet while dancing with minho? do you prefer his fingers over mine?” he never desease the smirk on his face, his nose touching yours and the feeling of his heavy breathing so close to you while you were cutted out of air made you go crazy. but you let out a moan after he gets two fingers inside you, making him laugh again.

“tell me, princess. tell me whose are you” you wanna answer, but he curls his fingers inside you while increasing his pace and makes you even harder to breathe. “i’m yours” you answer, and he takes his fingers out of you to put them in your mouth. you suck them instinctively, keeping eye contact with him, seeing the arousal in his eyes.

“you’re mine, y/n. no one else” you keep sucking on his fingers while his other hand finally moves from your neck to your waist, getting you closer to him. he softly moans at the feeling of his hardened dick rubbing against your hot core. “you are my baby slut, and the only one i want to please”

that was everything you needed to hear for being now completely at his will. the only thing you wanted was to be his only girl, the only one who he pleases, the only one who pleased him. you were feeling more desperate than ever now, getting crazier at the way he was rubbing his bulge against you in such a needy way, with both of his hands now on your hips, guiding you to make the touch rougher.

you remove his jacket and your eyes travel all over his chest, revealed by the thin silk. one of your hands caresses his chest, shoulders and neck, while the other one unzips his pants to get his cock out, making him moan louder at the feeling of your skin. “let me please you too, chris” you tell him in a whiny voice that makes him shiver.

you kneeled before him, and as soon as your lips touched the tip of his cock he rested both of his hands on the door that was behind you, moving his head backwards between deep groans.

“you’re such a pretty slut for me, y/n” he says and you speed up your pace. he starts to feel uncomfortable in any position, battling his urge to cum only to have you sucking on his dick for a longer time.

just when you feel his precum in your mouth he lifts you up, getting his eyes teary due to the denied orgasm. “turn around, princess. i’m not over yet”.

chan pushes your body against the door, guiding your ass close to him and lifting your skirt. he kisses your neck before pulling his cock inside you, making you both moan at the feeling of your stretched and wet pussy. “tell me who can fuck you this good, y/n?” he says while keeping a painful fast speed, tears forming in your eyes from the intense excitement.

“are you still thinking in minho, mh?” he says while he chokes you from behind, the other hand guiding your hips to move on his cock even harder. “tell me again, babygirl, who do you belong to?”

the feeling of his fast and hard pace, his hand holding you hard from your hips, his other hand cutting your air, his heavy breathing on your neck, his possessiveness, his moans; everything was making you feel extremely sensitive, desperate for a release of the tension that’s been building up. “you, o-only to you” you cried out in a broken voice.

his now clumsy moves showed you he was close too, getting weak to your submission. “only mine, y/n. f-fuck.” his last words whispered in your ear made you hit your orgasm. the feeling of your release all over his cock made him cum inside you, groaning your name in a completely fucked up way.

after a moment to catch up your breaths, he turned you back, facing you with a relaxed smile. “you’re still my girl after this, y/n. and i’ll always please my girl.”

[storiesforallfandoms]

awkward ~ harry styles

word count: 1911

request?: no

description: after taking a role in a movie that she regrets, she has an awkward encounter with the inspiration for the movie’s source material

pairing: harry styles x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

(fair warning, there’s some slight trash talking of after. i really don’t like that movie or the books so if you do...maybe skip this imagine)

“And here we have (Y/F/N), star of the new teen romance After!” the interviewer happily announced into the camera.

I tried not to visibly cringed as I waved at the cameraman.

When you’re an actress, there’s this unspoken rule that you shouldn’t regret the movie that will launch your career. And, in some aspects, I didn’t regret After. I made new friends thanks to filming that movie, and, even before the first trailer launched, I was becoming a household name.

However, there was some things I regretted about After...like the decision to star in it.

I took the role of Tessa before I even really knew what the movie was about. I decided to do some research by reading the books, only to become absolutely appalled by them. The relationship between Tessa and Hardin was absolutely toxic, and the books only plot was basically sex. The entire trilogy! It was like reading Fifty Shades of Grey for teenagers. At that point, however, it was too late. I was already signed on to do the movie and I couldn’t back out.

Now, I was locked into trying to talk good about the movie until it was announced that I had backed out for the upcoming two sequels, something that wouldn’t happen until months after the movie’s release I was sure.

I was on the red carpet for an award show and I had already given at least four interviews about the movie. I was starting to get tired of it. Was this how Robert Pattinson felt trying to promote Twilight? That poor man.

“Were you aware of the source material before you took the role?” the interviewer asked me.

I shook my head, giving her the response I had basically memorized at this point. “I wasn’t, actually. It wasn’t until I got the script and it said it was based off of a book by Anna Todd, and I knew I had to go read the books.

“What were your thoughts when you read the novels?”

I thought it was an awful relationships and sex for teens. "It was interesting. The first movie isn’t a super close adaptation to the first book, but I think fans of the original will still like it.”

“Were you aware it was a fanfiction before a book?”

I tried not to sign in annoyance at yet another familiar question. “I found out shortly after reading the books actually. That’s pretty fascinating!”

“I don’t know if you knew this, but Harry Styles is actually here tonight. Do you hope to meet him?”

I felt slight panic swell in me. I wanted to say absolutely not! I didn’t want to have to face Harry after what I had been a part of. He couldn’t have liked the fanfic, it was awful! He probably hated that this movie was being made, not that he could really do much about it considering Anna Todd changed all the names in the book so it could be published.

I tried not to let me panic show as I responded, “As a long time One Direction fan, I would love to meet him if given the chance.”

I managed to get away from the interviewer before she asked anymore questions. I felt like I had to be on high alert now. The last thing I wanted was to run into Harry, and I had a feeling he wouldn’t want to run into me, either. Unless he didn’t know I was here, in which case that would make running into him even more awkward.

I managed to bypass any last interviews and get into the venue. Among the crowded room of people, I searched to see the one familiar face I was looking for. I let out a sigh of relief when I didn’t see him and went on to mingle some of the other attendees.

We were only 30 minutes to show time when I heard the familiar deep voice that I had been dreading all night. “Hello.”

I turned away from the conversation I was having to see none other than Harry Styles stood behind me. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment and I just wanted to melt into the floor. Did he come looking for me? What was he going to say to me?

“H-Hi,” I stuttered, causing Harry to smile.

“You must be (Y/N), it’s nice to meet you,” he said, extending a hand to me.

I tried to remain cool as I shook his hand. “I am, yeah. It’s nice to meet you, too, I’m a big fan.”

“So I’ve heard. An interviewer out there told me that she had been talking to you just before she talked to me.”

I could only imagine what an interviewer had said to Harry. Some of the interviewers on red carpets were vultures, they just liked to stir up drama for the sake of clickbait.

“Is that...all she said?” I asked, afraid of what else might’ve been said to him.

Harry shrugged. “She just talked about the movie some. I avoided those questions.”

I couldn’t stop the groan that erupted from my throat at this sound. “I am so sorry, I hope you know how much I regret filming that movie.”

Harry tilted his head. “Why do you regret it? They’re already saying it’s going to be the next big teen romance phenomena.”

“Yeah, so I’ve heard. Too bad I won’t see it grow after the first movie.” I mentally scolded myself for spilling the beans already as Harry gave me a confused look. “I didn’t sign on for the second movie, or the third or however many they’re gonna make in the future. The first After is the end for me, that’s it.”

“Why would you do that? This is an easy three movie deal, wouldn’t most people kill for that?”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe you’re so concerned over this. I thought you’d hate the whole franchise considering it’s based on a really shitty fanfiction about you.”

To this, Harry chuckled. “Well, I don’t exactly like the After franchise. I’m definitely not looking forward to more people becoming aware of it due to the movies, but I also know what it’s like to try and break into the fame scene. It’s hard, you should always grasp what you need to in order to get to where you wanna go, you know?”

I smiled at this. “I guess you have a point. I’m just glad you don’t absolutely hate me for starring in the movie.”

“How could I hate you? I haven’t even properly met you yet, and so far, you’re too nice to hate.”

I felt blush creeping up my neck at this. I looked away from him, but couldn’t contain the smile on my face.

Harry and I talked for another while until we were being ushered to our seats. I hated to have to break away from him, but I had a feeling I’d see him after the show again.

The award show felt like it dragged on forever. I wasn’t nominated for anything, After hadn’t even come out yet, and I wasn’t presenting anything. I was just there to give interviews on the red carpet and to be just another face in the crowd. The performances were good, and the host of the show was hilarious, but I couldn’t help but wish it would just end already.

When it finally came to an end, I found myself waiting outside the arena for my Uber ride home. I was watching in confusion as my driver went in the exact opposite direction. Weren’t they supposed to have the GPS on their phone working? Where the hell was he going?

A car pulled up in front of me and the passenger side window rolled down. Harry’s smiling face beamed at me from inside the car as he asked, “Need a lift?”

I looked down at my phone, seeing how far away my Uber was yet again, before cancelling it all together and climbing into the front seat.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” I responded. “Uber sucks.”

“You didn’t get a ride to the show with anyone?”

I shook my head. “My manager sent for this fancy car to take me, so that I looked good in front of the cameras and such, but didn’t arrange a ride home for me.”

“That’s shitty.”

I shrugged. “That’s show biz, kid.”

Harry smiled and chuckled at this, and I felt a warm feeling in my stomach. Not a bad one, quite the opposite really.

The drive was silent for the most part, just some quiet music playing. I watched out the window as Harry drove, unsure of what to really say or do in this moment.

“You like the show?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

I shook my head. “Not at all. I thought it was quite boring since I had nothing to do besides talk up the movie I hate to the press.”

Harry chuckled. “Yeah, that’s understandable. Award shows are more fun when you’re not just sitting in your chair for like two and a half hours watching other celebrities get awards for things.”

“You did good, though,” I told him. “Your performance was amazing, you had the whole audience on their feet.”

He tried to contain it, but I could see the proud smile on his face. “That’s what I try to do with my music - something you can dance to and feel something when you’re listening to.”

“You definitely do both.”

God, small talk is so awkward. Why can’t you come up with anything else to say?

“I’m not good at this,” I admitted.

Harry glanced over at me for a moment. “Not good at what?”

“Talking to famous people,” I responded. “Well, super famous people I guess. I chatted with some people tonight who were more on my level of fame, but you’re like...you have your own level. Doesn’t help that I had a crush on you during my One Direction days.”

Harry’s low chuckle confirmed that I had indeed said that last part out loud. I face palmed so hard, the sound of my hand hitting my skin was actually audible, which caused Harry to laugh more.

“I’m such a mess,” I groaned. “Just dump me on the side of the road, it’s my time to go.”

“If I did that, I wouldn’t get to see you again.”

I looked over at him. “You wanna see me again?”

“Only if you’d like to spend more time with me.”

My smile was so wide that my cheeks were actually hurting, but I could’ve cared less. He was actually asking me to hang out and spend time with him? Yes please!

“I’d like that a lot,” I told him.

I was slightly disappointed when we pulled into my driveway, but it wasn’t enough to rid myself of the excitement I was feeling. Harry and I exchanged numbers before I got out of the car and smiled at him one last time.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised. I was too shocked to say anything else, so I just nodded before making my way to the front door of my apartment.

When the door closed behind me, I exclaimed with excitement and jumped around like a child on Christmas morning. Who knew that the movie I so despised would bring me some good, and not just with my career?

[luciensfox]

ACOSF Thoughts...

Don’t read unless you wish to be spoiled! Here are some things I can’t get out of my head after finishing the book...

Well first and foremost, I absolutely adore Nessian (as I always have but now it’s even more so) and I’m incredibly pleased with the direction it seems that SJM is leading Nesta’s character development! I’ve always wanted a badass warrior Nesta and I got way more than I figured (short of her growing wings at any time as I think some Valkyrie myths depict, this is amazing/ especially with all of the parallels people drew with her and Enalius). She’s going to make for an interesting character in the coming books and dare I say...commander Nesta. Oh, yes.

Of course I’ve always been obsessed with Lucien and nothing has changed on that front, but I’m even more intrigued now because we still need so many answers. When will it be revealed that he’s the heir of the Day Court? What’s the standings between he and Tamlin? With Vassa and Jurian? With his mother/ brothers? His mate? We literally got only two or three scenes with Luc involved so I knew nothing would be resolved in this novella, however I’m even more excited to see how Eris will play into his character arc come the next story (because you cannot convince me that SJM would put more emphasis on Eris than Lucien in this book and not intend for some brotherly angst in the future). Eris is also an anomaly and maybe it’s because I’m obsessed with the mysterious nature of whatever the hell is happening in the Autumn Court, but I really can’t wait to see what’s up with him and the rest of his family. (Also....the ballroom scene with Nest and Eris dancing to what is supposed to reflect Black Swan was one of my absolute favorite scenes.) Does Eris secretly desire peace and wants to take over Autumn not for power but to make amends and heal/ bring back glory to his home? And what exactly happened with Mor? SJM put so much emphasis on that too and we still have no idea.

I LOVE Gwyneth and Emerie. The triad of Valkyries was honestly the best part of the whole book for me. I know everyone is quick to match up characters with potential romances/ mates etc and it sounds like that’s what will happen with these two...but let’s not forget that they’re incredibly strong characters on their own terms and I hope whatever comes about their arcs isn't entirely placed on their romance status. However, they both seem to want to find someone to be with which leads me to believe that Emerie and Mor will very likely end up together (if only for the fact that we got one sentences indicating Em finds Mor gorgeous....I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens) and that Gwyn is going to be a potential interest for Azriel. 

I love Lucien so much, but my soft fox boy needs to heal and stop forcing himself to find romantic love when all he really needs is some self love. (So perhaps that will be his final journey....Lucien finally coming to terms with his trauma, settling ties with everyone from his past, and taking up his mental as Helion’s son and the future of the Day Court.) 

Elain seemed a bit OOC...and yet not at all? We’ve only got the chance to see the “sweet/ innocent” side of her, but it makes sense that she’s going to be a super complex character (SJM wouldn't have set her up so mysteriously if the intent was to leave her as a mere gardener) and that her journey in following books will show us a side of her we’ve never encountered. The Elriel ship has always been a confusing one for me, not because I don’t ship it but because there’s so much happening all the time that it’s hard to get a proper read on clues when SJM throws characters like Gwyn at us...coupled with the fact that Lucien seems to still be in love with Elain (or at least he’s just lonely and doesn't know how else to react, never mind whatever is happening with Vassa and Jurian), and that Az seems intent on getting with Elain....but Az also seems to be the type of character who falls in love deeply without considering a number of things. He’s driven by his desires and often hurt by them, hence his love for Mor. Notice how shortly after he started drifting from his desire for Mor, he started to desire Elain? Part of me wonders if it’s because he found the person he’s meant to be with...or if he felt attracted to her and she was a distraction to his pain and a means to help him get over Mor. Like I said, I don’t know which way I lean just yet but these are all possibilities!

Then there’s the Gwynriel ship--totally didn’t see that coming but I can’t say I don’t enjoy it. I love how Gwyn teases Az in a way that many others usually don’t dare, and that she’s another character with a history outside of the IC. While there’s a lot to consider, like the fact that Az’s shadows shy away when Elain is around but “dance” and seem to be overjoyed when Gwyn is nearby, I think a truly noticeable parallel to the pairing could be this:

Azriel is no stranger to unrequited love. In fact, that seemed to be his overarching characteristic for the first two books. Now that he’s found Elain and she also reciprocates their shared desire, it would be easy to pair them together. However, Gwyn seems to be interested in Azriel and Az can’t seem to figure out his standings with her other than being enticed and not realizing what’s in front of him because he’s so determined to be with Elain since “she’s the third sister and he the third brother” etc so it must make sense somehow even though Elain is mated. But Gwyn, to that extent, is no stranger to unrequited love either. 

Just imagine: Azriel finally cracks in the following book and shows a rare display of emotions to either Gwyn or the IC (or both) and Gwyn decides to confront him about facing his fears (his past with Mor, his current standings with Elain, his desire to have someone) by claiming that she knows exactly what unrequited love feels like because every day she stares at him and feels precisely as devastated as he did/does whenever he sees Mor or Elain. Az will probably be shocked to all hell and maybe it’ll snap him out of his misery enough to think clearly on the whole matter.

The Rhysand and Nesta friendship was something else I wasn’t expecting, didn’t necessarily think I’d want, but now am excited to see bloom. They definitely do share traits and I can’t help but remember how Rhys once compared Feyre to Cassian and how Nesta and Rhys might be the opposite counterparts since they’re both haughty and respond to things with incredibly heightened emotions because they love fiercely. 

This post is much longer than I’d intended but oh well, some other things for your consideration.....

A Varian/Amren x Nessian double date.

Nesta taking on a similar military role as Cassian and either leading a female unit of Illyrians/ Valkyries or sharing the brunt of Cassian’s job (plus come on... those two training together is essentially their respective version of foreplay and I’m so here for warrior Nessian bonding).

I hope we get to see that mating ceremony scene!

Also....does anyone remember Balthazar--the Illyrian who showed up for one scene and fell asleep on Nesta’s shoulder during the Blood Rite while he helped them find shelter? There’s no way SJM would’ve written in a character like that without intending for him to show up again in the future....

Koschei the deathless? Wonder what will occur there. 

Damn, if you’ve made it this far give yourself a pat on the back. 

[wings-of-a-storm]

So there’s a scene in ‘Love, Victor’ that I can’t seem to stop thinking about. It just fascinates me to a ridiculous level (probably more than it warrants, to be honest). It’s when Benji sings ‘Call Me Maybe’ to Victor at Battle of the Bands.

Yes, this moment! I have yielded to its power.

Like where the hell do I even begin to start unpacking the existence of this kind of moment so early on in the show?

To start with, I used to be haunted by the question: Was Benji actually singing to Victor with that intense eye-contact for the whole song or was the entire thing just “Victor Vision” and symbolic of what Victor wishes was happening?

And at first, my answer was: There’s just no wayyyy Benji could have actually done that! For the simple reason of HOW THE HELL WOULD HE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO JUSTIFY THAT TO HIMSELF? Singing a love song inspired by another guy, to that guy’s face, while the boyfriend he is super committed to is literally standing beside him, dropping phat beats on his bass to help the song come to life?

And yet…over the course of the performance, Benji starts to look almost angry/bitter/sad as he’s singing.

And as soon as the performance wraps up, Benji’s eyes are still locked right onto Victor’s as he steps off the stage. Like there is no searching, he knows exactly were Victor is and heads straight to him. And even more telling, once his Singer Persona drops off, he is nervously fiddling with his hands as he walks to Victor, like he’s waiting for Victor’s verdict of the performance. Kind of like: “Did you like it? Because I know how much you love that song and I sang it for you.”

I mean… Excuse me, sir? Consider me convinced that Benji really was singing it while staring at Victor the whole time, and Victor Vision just embellished parts. And you know what, that suddenly turns a fairly tropey scene into something so much more psychologically stimulating. Welcome to the holy trifecta of burning questions:

- Why did Benji make a cover in the first place? - Why did he sing it staring at Victor the whole time? - How did he justify it to himself?

The beauty of Benji's enigma is that the answers to those questions can be anything you want them to be. So many reasons fit, and so many overlap. It’s really rather fun to try and figure it all out, especially when there aren’t really any wrong answers.

So I guess here are mine:

WHY DID BENJI MAKE A COVER IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Fact: After sharing a fun Moment with Victor (dancing together like no one but Victor’s mother was watching, hah), Benji went home inspired to turn that song into a cover of his own. Why? Looking at it logically, their time together must have meant a lot to Benji, more than anyone could have realised. It affected him to the point where he had to preserve that moment, live in it for a bit longer, and also unpack it in his own mind in a way he’s most familiar and comfortable with: a creative outlet.

I love the idea of Benji listening to ‘Call Me Maybe’ over and over again when he got back home. At first just to relive the high he got from sharing such an uninhibited Moment with Victor (a rare occurrence after spending so much of his time walking around egg shells with Derek?). But then, after the nth play, getting the inspiration to make his own slower version of the track to better explore his feelings about that night and the way Victor makes him feel. Then finally re-listening to the song over and over again but this time to get the right chords and the right splicing/arrangement of lyrics that could convey his feelings but not completely cross the line into full on romance…

But Benji making that cover could have been inspired by so many tangled up reasons, like:

- He realised the lyrics were mirroring his own thoughts and experience, so singing it out loud was helping him process the harmless crush he seemed to be developing

- He wanted to preserve the memory of their dancing Moment because it gives him a dose of happy feels to relive it

- He may have partly intended to make the new version as a sort of gift to Victor that he’d one day play for him (maybe even at Battle of the Bands if Victor changed his mind and showed up). A gift that would further tie them together and cement their friendship, be a way to show Victor how much their friendship already means to him, and give back a little to Victor for trusting Benji with personal/embarrassing information about his guilty pleasures. Like a pre-Drawing gift, with similar energy

And let’s be real, also to try to impress Victor so that Benji can feel a little cool and desirable since it seems he doesn’t often get to feel that way around Derek. Like seriously, who can forget the lingering looks of anticipation Benji gave Victor when he first told him he was a Lead Singer in a Band. He wanted to impress Victor so badly. And who wouldn’t crave Victor’s sweet brand of attention?

Okay, so now Benji has a cover. But…

WHY DID BENJI SING IT STARING AT VICTOR THE WHOLE TIME?

Well firstly, how passionate must Benji have been behind the scenes if he was able to arrange a cover in less than 24 hours before the contest and prioritise it in band practice so that everyone was on board with his musical whim? (And how did he convince Derek to play such an unpretentious song?)

But I imagine the Intense Staring was probably a mixture of:

- Benji had probably spent a lot of the night hoping that Victor would miraculously show up after all (that mood of secretly looking through the crowd every so often throughout the night just in case…). And then when Victor actually did show up, Benji made the band play CMM even though they were still workshopping it, and got so caught up in his excitement and determination, he zeroed in on Victor hard and forgot to reign it in

- Because Benji feels something for Victor (even if he can’t name what exactly that is), and performance is a safe way to express the things he’s not meant to be feeling. It’s a safe space because when you’re performing something, you have the creative freedom to be someone else, to become another version of yourself, a persona, with the license to use whatever emotions you have in your arsenal to tell a story. Benji could express his yearning and fascination (etc) for Victor with the distance of a parallel universe or alternate reality. Stage Benji is allowed to stare

- Because Mia was there with Victor and Benji felt compelled and determined to win Victor’s attention back. You know, some good old fashioned jealousy born of insecurity -- that feeling of being a little insecure and protective of a new friendship, of wanting that person to just see you as special, of feeling like you have something to prove or you’ll end up forgotten in the background. (And maybe he was also a little sick of straight(?) girls having it so easy with the cute guys…)

- Because Benji subconsciously wanted to telegraph to Victor that he is interested in him (and is bitter that it’s not that simple) and wanted to see if Victor bites back. For science

- Or maybe because Benji saw a perfect chance to perform the song as a cute gift to Victor since he actually showed up, but then his intentions quickly unravelled into the prior points, haha

And that leads me to…

HOW DID HE JUSTIFY THE INTENSE* STARING TO HIMSELF?

(*Because even if the song was meant to be something innocent like a homage to an in-joke with Victor or a harmless means to process his feelings on this new and exciting friendship with an attractive boy, the intensity with which he sang it felt like something else entirely. It transcended friendship into a very ambiguous zone. And there was so much yearning in it. Particularly by the end...)

I think Benji probably justified his behaviour by thinking:

- It’s okay for Lead Singer Benji to stare at his muse while performing a story. (It’s just a persona, there’s no need for guilt!)

- It’s normal to be excited by a new friendship and it’s okay to want to sing a giddy song about that experience. And at worst, it’s just a harmless crush that will eventually fade once the novelty wears off. It’s not like he has any intention to do anything further with it since he is committed to Derek. It’s just fun to feel the tingles of a teeny crush…….

Alright, that’s it. I’m out. I’m done. I’ve got nothing left. Thanks for the ride, Benji, you mysterious, complicated, hopeless romantic.

[dcpravities]

here’s an absolute mess of what my characters are going to be up to for the event! i did throw some ideas out there as well as who’s open to taking a date or going with some friends. anything listed as ‘casual romantic’ is really just exactly what it says - doesn’t have to be anything serious, could be just as simple as a swipe right that led to this. anyone that doesn’t have date status listed either has a date or is still tbd. but hit the heart on this if you’d like to plot, and i’ll be sure to reach out to you through dms on tumblr or discord!

alecto carrow ; ( going single ) not looking to go with anyone or embrace the romantic stuff, really just going to have an excuse to drink while someone else pays for it and be nosy to whatever else goes on through the course of the night

america chavez ; not really a formal event sort of person but likes to have fun and party, will attempt to sneak onto the parts of the boat that are roped off, will obnoxiously play the lonely island song on her phone all night 

andrew minyard ; fully believes valentine’s day is stupid, will be complaining about how he has to dress nicer than usual (is a mesh shirt considered formal?? someone please tell him, he doesn’t have anything else), also would like to know if he’s allowed to smoke on the boat

angelica schuyler ; she comes from money and likes to mingle and dress up and have fun so she’s def in her element, the romance part is still very much ??? for her but she’ll absolutely be down for getting tipsy on champagne and talking to everyone on the boat

benvolio montague ; doesn’t want to be there, doesn’t know how to dance or make small talk, most likely will end up getting blitzed in the wine tasting 

bucky barnes ; will be dressed nicely and is looking forward to having the chance to mingle and charm people around, probably felt like he should go since he also figures that it’s something leia’s planned

catra ; looks good in a suit and can hold her liquor, lots of fun at parties, but also absolutely hates water and boats and will not even think about going up to the deck

el hopper ; probably will be enjoying her first outing after becoming a new mom, romance is cute so she’ll be eating it up and having fun picking out an outfit to wear

five hargreeves ; ( open to platonic friend dates tho does he have friends?? ) does not want to be here at all, and will complain if the bartender won’t make him a margarita

haruka tenoh ; is very good at making small talk and being charismatic with people, pretty used to this sort of scene but is truly just looking forward to having an excuse to spend time with michiru in this sort of environment, even if they’re telling themselves they’re working

hera syndulla ; ( open to platonic friend dates or casual romantic dates - any gender ) usually sits these things out but wouldn’t mind some time to enjoy herself and having an excuse to get dressed up, will probably spend the majority of her time on the boat on the upper deck looking at the stars and the monuments 

jasper hale ; ( going single ) not super excited about this since being around tons of people and keep a good cover can sometimes be hard for him, has been feeling oddly out of it recently with no explanation

luke skywalker ; ( going “single” ) going alone but is technically going with mercutio by coincidence, not sure if he’s ever been on a boat before so he’s ready to vibe, will be the person that tries to sneak into the restricted parts of the boat to see why they’re restricted

marcus flint ; ( going single ) hates parties like this and will be doing everything in his power to avoid anyone from hogwarts, just as long as he can keep his amnesia act up

molly prewett ; trying to break out of mom mode and let the kids do their own thing without worrying, definitely has needed an excuse to party for who knows how long so someone please do shots with her

natalie mckinnon ; absolutely loves a party, will try and convince the people in the wine tasting to drink tequila instead, also is wondering why the band doesn’t know any of the songs she wants them to play

neville longbottom ; uhhh?? hello?? awkward and has no idea what he’s supposed to do at something like this, may try to stick with ginny and luna as much as possible

noah czerny ; can ghosts dance? guess it’s time to find out. just trying to enjoy a normal night with some friends and hoping for the best

roxanne weasley ; loves parties but also wonders if she’s going to get in trouble if she brings some weed on the ship? will probably be going live on tik tok or instagram for social media, will definitely do some dumb stuff on board

roy harper ; wondering if he owns any clothes that aren’t a sweatshirt, will definitely be underdressed, didn’t realize people actually celebrate valentine’s day?

scorpius malfoy ; does stupid things when he gets drunk, large possibility he will be dumb enough to get arrested

sirius black ; wow first actual date as a couple with marlene and it’s valentine’s day?? will be laying low and just enjoying time with her and his friends, probably with get drunk enough to embarrass himself dancing 

vision ; not his scene but appreciates the sentiment behind celebrating valentine’s day, will probably be more interested in the actual boat than anything else

[you-are-my-neverland]

nano 2020 final update

                now playing: a playlist for yourself sad (slowed down songs)

final wc. 57, 114 words

general thoughts:

let me try to keep this short: i won!!! honestly, it was very exciting, considering this is like my sixth nano and the only one i’ve cracked an actual 50k on - ahead of schedule, too! (and on that - congrats to everyone who wrote this month! you all did awesome, even if you didn’t make your goal <3). 

my writing pace slowed a little, which was fine - we did have thanksgiving break, but honestly that was just for me to further relax (& upon return the stress of school slammed full force hhhh). it’s been a bit tricky because i do have a large ensemble cast of varying importance whose relevance will likely cycle around, but incorporating them into the story is difficult. i’m trying to build relationships for further chapters, but without forgetting or sidelining anyone too much. it’s been a bit crazy, especially since my outline is not super detailed and i didn’t ever get around to writing my character arcs for book 1 like i was planning on. oh well.

we did hit the first little conflict hill though!! 

the future:

honestly, i don’t know where i’m going with this - not my wip, but like with writing it and posting updates. this is technically my final nano update, but like i don’t plan on stopping writing this regularly because might as well ride with it, you know? anyways. i think when i have a title, i’ll make a wip intro about it. hopefully my writing doesn’t peter off - i’ll have to try to police myself, like that ever works out (well it did this year but. you know).

if you want to be on a taglist for future possible updates, let me know! right now it’s just @semblanche <3

also here’s the pinterest which i am still building and organizing (i’ll create a spotify playlist in due time)

some scenes:

(beneath the cut because i went a little overboard)

“You jest,” Eden said, looking amused. Ophelia noticed he wasn’t wrinkling his brow as much anymore, as if the headache had finally gone away, or at least she had distracted him from it, which she took as a win.

“I am only ever perfectly serious,” she said. 

“I don’t doubt it,” Eden replied.

They looked out at the ocean a while longer.

notes: ophelia and eden (& sebastian) as friends with a certain vibe that i really like ... they’re kind of cute okay <3 but insofar platonic

“That’s fine, I always keep elastic ones on me,” Luce replied, continuing to chat as she began to braid after dividing Ophelia’s hair into a neat part. “Your hair is so nice and straight. It does whatever I want it too. I usually practice hairdos on Laurie, but both of her hair never wants to obey the laws of gravity or force, you know? I’m not pulling too tight, am I?”

Ophelia, who had actually sunk into a relaxed state and felt rather as if she had transcended—it had been so long since someone had touched her hair, her mother stopping brushing it long ago—almost missed the question, before quickly saying, “No, it feels really nice.”

notes: trying to build and integrate ophelia, luce & briar friendship so ophelia can have actual good friendships, also because healthy girl friendships are necessary for any good work xD

Asriel glanced at her over his shoulder, the flames casting a sharp outline across his narrow profile. “It’s not my fault if you take offense to every small thing. Maybe you should think about why you consider that to be a personal attack on you. Perhaps you’re doing something wrong?”

Ophelia exhaled sharply and looked away from him, her fist dropping to her side. She could feel tears pricking at her eyes, and it was so infuriating that she almost wanted to cry—cry over the fact that a single sentence made her want to cry to even begin with. 

“Forget this,” she said, forcing herself to speak slowly as to not betray the tightness of her throat she felt all of the sudden. “I don’t need to go with you. I’ll make it out on my own. Have fun in the dark.” She stormed past him, shoulder checking him into the wall, and focused on her feet and surroundings carefully, not willing to embarrass herself any further.

“Ophelia,” Asriel said. Just her name. Nothing else. It was enough to make her stop, even as she insistently told her feet to keep going. She looked just barely over her shoulder at him and saw his body sigh with the sound of it leaving his lips. “Let’s go together,” he said, coming up to stand next to her. 

“No way,” she said. “You  might ‘need’ me, but I definitely don’t need you.”

notes: anyways ophelia & asriel are supposed to be like rivals and the reader isn’t supposed to like asriel that much, but also my personal bias shines through in my writing and i once again make my intentions obvious (enemies to lovers hghjskjs)

She opened her eyes and looked up to see Asriel staring back at her, sitting on the ledge and dangling his feet, a hand still over hers, despite the flames that had started to dance across his skin as well. He didn’t so much as flinch, though Ophelia could make out the slight reddening of his skin beneath the fire. She frowned at that and considered reeling it back in, but who was she if he wanted to risk his life? People got burned. It wasn’t anything that a healer couldn’t solve.   

She was struck by his gaze. Not that it carried much intensity, but by the fact that it didn’t—he looked at her as he looked at everything else, with a gaze that simply swept by one momentarily and deemed it not worth his interest. Nothing was worth his interest. Nothing made him smile or laugh; he only frowned, slightly, at some things, sometimes at Ophelia, but he never looked at her with the burning hatred she felt he must see on her face every time they made eye contact. 

notes: uh oh this rivalry might have been one sided the entire time? hm.

“You could have killed me.” When she looked up, her eyes were rimmed with red and her voice was raw with some unspoken emotion.

Asriel didn’t flinch. “It was a risk I was willing to take.”

“You don’t get to gamble with my life,” Ophelia said, spitting out each word as if they hurt her to say.

“It wasn’t even real,” Asriel replied, unbothered and unfazed.

“Merlin,” Ophelia whispered, looking away and then staggered to her feet, hands clenched into fists at her side. “I hate you so much. I wish I had made all of you burn alive.” She turned and slammed through the door, letting it bang shut with an echo that resonated throughout the room.

notes: oh yeah. this is why she doesn’t like him lol. 

“How classy,” Bell drawled. “Ruel, do you think he should be allowed to rebel with us?”

Ruel shrugged her knobby shoulders, popping her bubble and swallowing the gum back between her teeth. “We shouldn’t invite people.” They exchanged a look with weighted emotions in their eyes that felt much too serious for the current situation. Asriel felt his fingers tighten around his arms, cutting off the circulation, as he waited.

“True enough.” Their heads turned in unison to blink at a still standing Asriel: Ruel’s heavy lidded pale gray blue ones and Bell’s dark brown eyes with the thin double eyelid crease.

“See you around, then,” Bell said. “If it’s fate, we’ll meet again.”

Asriel bit back a scoff, a short huff escaping his lips instead. “If that’s that you believe.”

“Ah, so he’s a skeptic,” Bell remarked, voice cold and eyes narrowing.

Asriel gave them both a long look, feeling slightly amused at the conversation and somewhat curious about what a further one would entail.

“I don’t believe in fate,” he said. “And even if fate does exist, it’s far from impartial.”

“Is that your way of saying you doubt we’ve made fate’s favorites list?” Bell asked, looking like they were half joking and half actually interested in what Asriel had to say.

“I don’t know,” Asriel said. “Do you honestly believe fate has taken any notice of you at all?”

“I’m not one of the Divine,” Bell said. “So I couldn’t say, honestly. Could you?”

Asriel let his hands drop to his sides, where he tucked them into his pockets and ignored the burn and pain that came with the movements. 

“I would hope,” he started softly. “That fate has no plans for me at all. Good day.

notes: asriel pov asriel pov asriel pov! the way he’s one of what i like to call the core four (not me writing cour fore rip omg, but also that’s sebastian, ophelia, vincent, and him - our mcs if i ever had such a thing) but this is his first pov in 50k. bell & ruel are two minor characters that kind of wormed their way into my heart and now i think i’m attached - maybe they’ll all be friends. 

[malenkayacherepakha]

PROMPTSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FROM THE AMAZINGGGGG RACHELLLLLLL😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 how about Draco who somehow can't find any normal jeans anymore and thus shows up to work in super tight leather trousers meant for clubbing/shorts/a skirt from pansy/a dress (whatever you prefer) and Harry NOT handling it well

Thank you for such a great prompt! I changed it a little bit but I hope you enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

                                                      ~~~

Harry had coped with a lot since he and Draco had been paired up together at work.

On the one hand, working with an unspeakable as talented and clever as Draco had made his life at work a lot easier, and his case solve rate had increased significantly since they became partners.

On the other hand, Draco could be a complete nightmare at times.

Draco was a genius, yes, but he was scattered, his mind racing a million miles ahead of Harry’s and his desk always covered in piles of notes and reference books. He always stole the food Harry bought from the shop down the road from the Ministry, even when he said he didn’t want Harry to get him anything. He had also developed a disregard for rules that managed to shock even Harry, who wasn’t exactly well-known for being a rule follower himself. Draco would happily bend the rules if it helped them solve a case, and would regularly rock up to work hours after their agreed upon start time, giving Harry only a cursory explanation for his delay.

But he was brilliant, so Harry put up with it all.

He didn’t say anything about the mess, just subtly pushed it off his desk when it began to encroach on his space. He started to order extra food when he went out, slightly changing his usual orders to take into account Draco’s preferences. And he never said anything about the late starts, knowing that Draco worked hard enough that he deserved to take a few hours back here and there.

And yes, maybe Harry was being overly lenient. Maybe if his partner had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have excused those behaviours.

But his partner wasn’t any old Unspeakable; it was Draco.

And if Harry was being really honest with himself, at this point, Harry would let Draco get away with anything.

But that didn’t make it okay when Draco turned up to the office one day in sinfully tight leather trousers, his eyes outlined ever so subtly with black kohl.

Harry nearly choked on his tongue when Draco walked in, earning him a raised eyebrow from Draco.

‘Please don’t choke, Potter, I’ve only just started to cope with having you as my partner, and I’d really rather not start again with another unbearable Auror,’ Draco drawled.

‘What on earth are you wearing?’ Harry managed to croak out between coughs.

‘Clothes, obviously.’

‘But why those clothes? Not really your usual style,’ Harry joked weakly, the sight of Draco’s long legs wrapped in such tight leather playing havoc with his ability to come up with witty comebacks.

‘Have you actually forgotten, Potter? This a new low, even for your terrible memory.’

‘Forgotten what?’ Harry was racking his brain but for the life of him couldn’t come up with a reason for Draco to come to work looking like that.

‘Oh, Merlin, I don’t know if I can deal with this.’ Draco sighed, exaggeratedly rubbing his temples as if to dispel a Harry-induced headache. ‘The raid, Potter. The raid we’re going on tonight. To catch the potions dealers we’ve been after for months. Please tell me you haven’t forgotten all about it?’

Oh. The raid. Harry remembered now.

They’d been working on a case focusing on illegal potions for months now. Whoever was making the potions had somehow managed to mimic the effects of hard Muggle drugs, including their addictive nature, and the potions were flooding the Wizarding club scene. After weeks and weeks with no breakthroughs, Harry and Draco had finally managed to convince their bosses that they needed to go undercover to try and make contact with a dealer, and hope that they would then provide them with a lead that could help them track down the mastermind of the scheme.

They’d agreed that tonight would be their first attempt at making contact with a dealer. Harry fully blamed Draco’s outfit and the way that the eyeliner made his grey eyes even more striking for his momentary forgetfulness.

‘Now you’re all caught up, shall we go through the final plan? Can’t have you cocking this up at the last minute because you’ve forgotten the details, can we?’ Draco said pointedly.

They spent the rest of the day going over the plan for the raid with a fine-toothed comb, discussing how they would respond to a variety of situations and clarifying exactly what they were going to say to the dealer to avoid letting it slip that they were undercover.

Normally Harry would be brimming with excitement in the hours leading up to a raid. He was much happier out actively chasing the bad guys than being stuck behind a desk, so he was usually chomping at the bit to go undercover.

Today though, his mind was all over the place. The sight of Draco looking like that, like he belonged in a dark club, all eyes on him as he danced rather than in a stuffy Ministry office was doing strange things to Harry’s insides.

The feelings that he usually managed to control so well in Draco’s presence were bubbling up to the surface, breaking free from the cage that Harry usually kept them in, locked away until late at night when he could leisurely explore them on his own.

It only got worse when Draco began pacing around their office as he often did when trying to puzzle out a case. The sight of his long legs striding around was too much for Harry on its own, but then Draco reached the end of the office and had to turn round to pace back to his desk, and then all Harry could see was Draco’s arse, so clearly defined in the tight leather.

Merlin.

Harry wanted to drop his head down on to the desk and scream, the desire building in him almost too much to bear. Draco was going to kill him. They hadn’t even got to the club yet; Merlin only knew how much worse it was going to be when Harry had to watch Draco dance dressed like that. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate on the mission.

At one point, it all became too much for Harry.

Not even caring about the strange look Draco gave him when he croaked out ‘Be right back, bathroom,’ he dashed out of the office and down the corridor to the loos.

Once he was safely locked in a stall, he sank down on to the closed seat and dropped his head into his hands. He’d thought he had these feelings under control. Thought that he could just keep working with Draco as if nothing was different, keeping his inconvenient little crush tucked out of sight. But clearly things were getting out of hand. He didn’t know how Draco hadn’t noticed anything, considering how weirdly he’d been behaving all day.

He needed to pull himself together. Just get through the raid tonight and then he could have a breakdown in the privacy of his own home.

‘Get it together, Harry, for God’s sake,’ he muttered to himself as he splashed his face with cold water.

He returned to their office to find Draco still pacing, leafing through papers detailing their plans for the evening.

‘There you are, Potter. Where have you been? It’s time to get ready to go,’ Draco said in one breath, a sure sign that he was getting psyched up for the coming raid.

‘Sorry, sorry,’ Harry said, deflecting the question about his whereabouts. ‘I’m ready to go when you are.’

‘You most definitely are not ready to go,’ replied Draco. At Harry’s questioning look he continued. ‘We’re going to a club, Potter, not a bad clothes convention. You can’t go looking like that, they’ll spot us coming a mile off.’

And then, completely ignoring Harry’s spluttered protests, Draco pulled out his wand and began casting spells at Harry. He could feel his clothes shifting, changing fabrics and tightening in various places as Draco worked. Harry stopped complaining and let Draco get on with it, knowing that nothing Harry could say would convince Draco that he didn’t need this makeover. And, Harry grudgingly admitted, Draco was probably right. Harry was definitely not dressed for clubbing.

Harry fell into a sort of trance as Draco worked, letting the feel of Draco’s magic wash over him, each spell making his skin tingle and the hairs on his arms stand on end.

Soon, too soon really, Draco was done.

Harry opened his eyes as he felt the magic dancing across his skin disappear. He looked up to see Draco standing just a few feet away from him, a strange look on his face.

‘What?’ Harry said, worried that he must look stupid. He never could pull off fashionable clothes, and definitely not as well as Draco could.

‘Nothing,’ Draco said, shaking himself out of whatever weird mindset he was in. ‘It’s just strange seeing you look like that.’

‘Look like what?’ Harry asked, unsure whether that was a compliment or not.

‘Like- like-’ Draco said, uncharacteristically stuck for words. ‘Like someone you’d see out and want to pick up,’ he said finally.

Harry’s heart flipped at the words. Could that mean what he thought it did?

‘Ah, thanks,’ he said hesitantly, and then, taking a deep breath, he decided to take a risk. ‘So do you.’

For a long moment they just looked at each other. Harry’s heart was thundering in his chest as he watched Draco, waiting with bated breath for his response.

Just as Harry was about to turn away, his heart sinking in his stomach, Draco stepped forwards.

‘Harry,’ he said as he closed the distance between them. ‘Are you sure about this?’

‘No,’ Harry said honestly, letting Draco see how scared he was that this could go wrong, that everything could change between them, ‘but I want it anyway.’

And with that, Harry reached out, eliminating any space left between them. He revelled in the feel of that soft leather finally under his fingers as he pulled Draco against him, as he leaned in and gently kissed Draco.

Butterflies flooded Harry’s stomach and desire pumped through his veins at the feeling of Draco’s soft lips on his, at the sensation of Draco’s lean body pressed against his. It was better than he could have ever dreamed.

They kissed for what felt like hours but surely could only have been minutes, lost in the feel of each other.

When they finally pulled apart Harry was panting, trying to catch his breath, and Draco’s hair was mussed up from Harry running his fingers through it.

‘Fuck,’ Harry laughed weakly.

‘Yeah,’ Draco said, a stark contrast to his usually wordy self.

Harry leant in again, dropping small kisses on Draco’s lips and nose, unable to believe that he could actually do this.

Finally, Harry pulled back properly, resting his forehead against Draco’s as their breathing gradually evened out.

‘We should go,’ Draco said.

‘Go where?’ Harry said, mind filling with visions of Draco taking him back to his flat.

‘The raid?’ Draco said incredulously. ‘Have you seriously forgotten about it again?’

Harry really had forgotten about it, all the planning for the upcoming mission completely wiped from his mind by the amazing kisses they had shared, a fact that Draco was still laughing about as they got ready to leave the office.  

‘It’s all your fault that I forgot, you know. You and those damn leather trousers.’

[angelicthor]

the fifties

decades dance: part 1

pairing: steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes

summary:  unrequited love was painful. To have to endure it from two people was something else. Loving two super soldiers that didn’t return your feelings was agony but what if they did? Events unfold when Tony plans to throw a party for every decade Bucky and Steve missed out on.

warnings/genre: +18 only, explicit smut, angst, idiots-to-lovers

masterlist | decades dance masterlist

Unrequited love had been written about for centuries, it’s been the focus of so many art forms as one of the most painful feelings in the world. That was something you could most definitely relate to, only for you it was worse; see you weren’t just in love with one man who didn’t love you back, you were in love with two. You couldn’t really be blamed, anyone would be crazy not to fall for Bucky and Steve; Steve who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, who commanded the Avengers with finesse but remained that Brooklyn kid at heart and then there was Bucky who had suffered the most inhumane atrocities the world had ever seen and still managed to be one of the most caring gentlemen you had ever met. You loved them both for their similarities and their differences and nothing confused you more. Not to mention, they both looked like they were crafted by Gods.

It was hard, living in such close quarters to them and not being able to do anything about it. Whenever you saw Steve lounging on the sofa during movie night you wanted nothing more than to burrow into his side whilst he drew you in, wrapping you in his strong arms. When Bucky was cooking his infamous carbonara that every avenger loved, you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around his midriff, press kisses on to his back before getting stuck in and helping him. You realised quickly that your feelings weren’t diminishing anytime soon, for either of them, and that’s what made up your mind for you. You wouldn’t – couldn’t – pursue either of them, to date one and still have feelings for the other was unfair, they both deserved someone who had their whole attention, their whole heart.

At one point, you thought maybe they reciprocated your feelings, you’d been their best friend for so long that when you started to push gently on the boundaries with them, neither of them said anything – in fact it appeared they welcomed it – and you had to remind yourself that you couldn’t have either. It just wasn’t fair, especially if they both did feel the same way, there was no way you could put yourself between Steve and Bucky. They’d been through so much to get back to each other, you couldn’t mess that up with your silly feelings. Their friendship had spanned decades and you made damn sure it wasn’t going to end because of you, and so you started to pull away – no matter how much it hurt you.  

You hadn’t spent any real time with them in months, not the way you used to. You, Bucky, and Steve used to be inseparable; watching movies together, training, hell – they even went shopping with you. You were content just to be together, Steve sketching in his art pad, you cuddled into his side reading whilst Bucky wrote in his journal, his head in your lap. Of course, there were the hard times too, nightmares plagued both Bucky and Steve but in very separate ways; Bucky would wake in a cold sweat, screaming until his throat was raw and you would come running in, he always needed to be held, cradled against you as you reminded him that he wasn’t there anymore, that HYDRA couldn’t get to him and of the freedom he gained. Steve was a different story; there was no screaming, no sweats, just your door softly opening and his broken voice calling out for you. He would crawl into your bed and feel the need to have you in his arms, he often dreamt of Bucky falling and what happened after and in typical Steve Rogers style he blamed himself. You could have sworn they were as bad as each other with the amount of guilt they carried for things out of their control. You would stay awake, fingers drawing senseless patterns on his chest as he held you close, not willing to let his guilt-ridden thoughts take over him as you murmured sweet nothings to him, his mind breaking away from everything until his breathing deepened and you knew he had fallen asleep.

It pained you how little you saw of them anymore but you knew it was for the best, you couldn’t keep hurting yourself like that and you’d never forgive yourself if you hurt either of them too. Knowing it was for the best didn’t ease the sting in your heart when you turned down their offers to hang out and spend time together, and when the screams of your name stopped from Bucky and Steve ceased to crawl into your bed any more you were never more sure that this is what true heart break was.

You had been in a permanent state of gloom since you had severed your relationship with both men and so when Tony’s ‘ingenious’ plan came around you had no quarrels. Tony was more than aware of the time that Steve and Bucky had missed, making the most jokes of their age in the group, and planned to update their knowledge the best way he knew how. Parties. He was planning on throwing a decade-themed party until they were both caught up on popular culture of the time; guests would dress in clothes from the era, the music would match, and there would be references to every significant event that happened at the time to help educate them. Tony called it ‘a crash course in history the best way possible’, you didn’t care – a Tony Stark party meant one thing: alcohol and plenty of it.

The night of the first party came and you were excited, you always loved the fashion from the fifties and you were in dire need to get blind drunk to forget about two certain super soldiers. Putting on a final coat of cherry red lipstick, you blotted your lips and examined the finished outfit in the mirror. Your hair was curled elegantly, framing your face and making your cheekbones stand out, your dress was iconic; the white halter neck from The Seven Year Itch worn by none other than Marilyn Monroe. The silk material felt amazing, caressing your skin with every movement you made and the low-cut v of the neckline brought enough emphasis to your breasts to make them look amazing. Overall: you looked killer. Too bad you weren’t there to impress anyone but yourself with how many shots you could down without dying.

A knock on the door brought you out of your contemplation’s and it opened to reveal Nat and Wanda, both looking amazing. Wanda had gone for a more generic look of the fifties, the vintage circle dress complete with petticoats making her look the part, Nat dressing similar with a sheath dress that accentuated her curves, both looking stunning.

“Wow Y/N, you look gorgeous,” Wanda breathed out, eyes widening at your appearance.

“Yeah you look hot. Not trying to impress any one, are you?” Nat asked with a mischievous lilt to her voice, of course Nat knew of your feelings and she thought you were stupid for not doing anything about it.

“Of course not, you both look great by the way,” You changed the subject quickly, grabbing your purse before heading towards the door, “Shall we ladies?”

You headed down in the elevator together, the sounds of Nat King Cole getting louder the further down you got until the doors opened into the lounge revealing the party. You had to give it to Tony, he’d really out-done himself, there were pictures and posters of all the major events to have happened throughout the decade, of course Tony would consider the first playboy magazine to be a major event. There were small screens dotted around playing important news clips and infamous film scenes but the sounds coming from them were drowned out by the music from overhead. Everybody looked incredibly, there were no half-assed costumes in sight and the make shift dance floor looked like a rippling sea of colourful skirts twirling around dancing legs.

You all made your way to the bar ordering a drink when your eyes landed on Bucky and Steve and God damn it you wished you’d never seen them. They looked unreasonably good. Steve was dressed in a shirt that clung to his every muscle so much you were scared it would tear in two when he moved, surprisingly your eyes didn’t linger on his bulging arms but on the suspenders that drew over his shoulders clipping onto his pants, your mind played imaged of you pulling him down by his suspenders, crushing your lips against his in a frantic kiss. You shook your head of the thoughts, eyes wandering to Bucky by his side but that wasn’t a safer option. Bucky had gone for a greaser look, channelling James Dean impeccably. His hair was slicked back and the leather jacket he wore made your thighs clench as you pictured running your fingers through his perfectly styled hair whilst he pushed you against a wall, lips attacking yours. Coming out of your haze, you noticed Steve and Bucky both had their eyes on you, small smirks on the faces and you knew you’d been caught. You shot them both a tight smile before quickly turning back to the bar, missing the saddened look on their faces as your turned away from them.

You chatted with Wanda and Nat some more, sipping on your drink deciding to pace yourself or you’d never see the end of the night; soon Wanda went off to talk with vision whilst Nat was on the dancefloor with Clint and you were aimlessly walking around the room, taking in all of it. Your eyes roamed around the room, smiling as they passed your friends who all seemed to be having a good time but you froze as your eyes fell on Bucky who was propped against the bar, chatting up a pretty red-head who was getting very handsy indeed. You had no right to be jealous or sad, Bucky wasn’t yours, you knew that, unfortunately your heart didn’t care about logic. Whether you were with him or not you still loved him and seeing him show such blatant affection to another girl was soul crushing. You spun quickly on your heel, not wanting to watch the scene play out in front of you like your own hellish nightmare any longer, smacking straight into the wall of muscle behind you. Large hands wrapped around your back, calloused skin sending sparks through you at the contact on the bare skin. You knew who it was immediately without having to look up, you’d recognise his touch anywhere.

Steve pulled back up to your feet, blue eyes shining with worry as he peered down at you, his hands not moving on your back. Your previous distress melted away when you looked at Steve, a familiar sense of peace overpowering it that seemed to always be the case when you were around him. This was the closest you’d been to him and weeks and you forgot how much your body ached for even the simplest of touches.

“Are you alright Y/N?” Steve asked, concern evident in his voice as per usual with him. Your problems were Steve’s problems and this applied to everyone he met. You constantly worried that the man had too much on his plate, not giving himself time to mull over his own concerns. 

You smiled up at him, reveling in the grin that spread across his face in response and shook your head, “I’m fine Steve, thanks for the save though.”

His deep chuckle made you weak in the knees and you fought against the rising heat in your cheeks, “You look beautiful Doll, this dress really is something.”

This time you really couldn’t prevent the way you ducked your head and avoided his gaze, the deep timbre of his voice affecting you more than it should but you pushed away the devious thoughts coming springing to your mind and focused on the man in front of you once more, “Thanks Steve, you look great too. Are you enjoying the party?”

“Honestly, yeah,” He let out a small snort of disbelief, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think Tony actually had a good idea here, I’m picking stuff up quick, just don’t tell him – the guys egos big enough.”

You and Steve shared a genuine laugh and it was as though nothing had changed, like you hadn’t been avoiding him for so long without even giving him a reason. It thrilled you and scared you just how easy it was to fall back into him as if nothing had happened. “I haven’t seen you around for a while,” Steve murmured, he sounded so small, so vulnerable, and your heart broke thinking about how much you must have hurt him.

“Yeah, sorry I’ve just been really busy lately,” You knew you were lying, he knew you were lying – hell anyone who’d never met you would have known you were lying it sounded so forced. The was an awkward pause before Steve asked you if you wanted a drink, not wanting you to leave him after so long of not being with each other. You ultimately agreed, the need to spent time with him far out weighing any thoughts of protection running through your mind. It’s just a drink, maybe a dance, what’s the worst that can happen?

A couple of hours later, you were wiping tears from your eyes, leaning against Steve for support as you clutched your stomach, trying to control the endless laughter erupting from you at one of Steve’s stories from his past. This man was a world of trouble and you could only imagine the details he was leaving out. You spent the whole night by Steve’s side and he seemed thrilled by it, the grin on his face not once diminishing; you had a couple of drinks (not nearly as many as you were planning on drinking but you didn’t feel so empty when you were with Steve), you danced together, he told you the most ridiculous stories from his past and even more recent ones and you filled him in on what you’d been up to the months you’d spent apart.

The party died down and you decided to call it a night feeling so much better having spent so much time with Steve you walked with a bounce in your step, the weight of your loneliness forgotten as if you’d never separated yourself from them. Steve asked to walk you to your room, an offer you happily accepted and for some unknown reason nerves racked your body. Opening your door, you lingered in the doorway for a moment, unsure of what to say.

“Well, thanks for walking me back,” You felt unsure of yourself, a heavy tension settling between you that you couldn’t quite distinguish. You rubbed your hands together trying to give them something to do to battle to anxiety, Steve’s beautiful blue eyes tracing the details of your face and making you even more nervous.

“It’s no problem,” His voice was deep, deeper than you ever heard it and it sent a spike of arousal through you when you thought of that voice murmuring dirty things into your ear. You stood staring at you, the tension between you mounting until Steve’s tongue came out to wet his bottom lip, igniting the tension like a match to gasoline.

You moved to grip the back of Steve’s neck pressing you lips to his in a frantic kiss, his own hands landing on your waist, gripping you tight and pulling you flush against his chest. It was a battle of teeth and tongues in a near bruising kiss as Steve started to walk you backwards into the room, kicking the door shut with one foot. The sound of the lock clicking in place seemed to pull Steve out of the frenzied trance you had both been in and he pulled his lips away from yours but kept you close to him, not wanting you to leave his grasp. His eyebrows furrowed with confusion and you could tell he was having some sort of internal debate with himself over this, “Y/N?”

His lips brushed against yours as he spoke, his tone soft and confused. “Yeah Steve?”

“What are we doing?” He seemed like he was holding himself back and you thought for a horrifying moment that maybe he didn’t want this, maybe you’d read everything wrong and just made the biggest mistake of your life. You couldn’t prevent the dejected look washing over your face and you tried to pull away but Steve pulled you closer, not letting you move away from him.

“Do you want this?” He asked, eyes searching yours for any sign that you didn’t. You could only nod your head in response but it was enough to set Steve off again. His lips pressed against your again gentler this time, soft lips caressing yours that made you melt against him. His fingers weaved into your hair, pulling your head to the side to deepen the kiss before nibbling on your bottom lip causing you to whimper. Your hands started to wonder, mapping out the scape of his broad chest and landing on those god damn suspenders, gripping the elasticated material and using it to pull him down to you. 

A man should not be allowed to look this good because of suspenders it just isn’t fair!

Your hands moved to start unbuttoning his shirt as he peppered kisses along the column of your neck, leaving small bites in his wake that were destined to bruise. Steve quickly pushed the suspenders from his shoulders, his shirt hitting the floor seconds later and your mouth fell open. Not only did Steve Rogers look like he was crafted by a God in marble but the sight in front of you: panting, in nothing but pants and suspenders hanging around his waist, you felt your cunt clench with desire at the sight and you couldn’t wait anymore.

Steve walked you backwards until you left your bed at the back of your legs, his hands gliding up your back until he reached the tie of your dress around your neck, deftly undoing the knot whilst his eyes remained locked on yours. The front fell revealing your bare breasts to Steve and he let out a gasp at the sight of the soft mounds of flesh, nipples hardening under his intense gaze. You pulled the dress down your hips, the silky material pooling at your feet leaving you in nothing but your panties and heels. You crawled up the bed, feeling Steve’s stare on your swaying hips the whole time before you reached the pillows at the top, turning to lay back against them. Steve’s eyes were near black, pupils blown with lust as he hastily discarded his pants, toeing his shoes off before moving to hover over you on the bed.

His hands trailed over your soft skin, memorising the feeling under his hands: starting from your breasts, thumbs circling your hardened nipples before gliding down you the side of your stomach, gripping the sides of your panties before tugging them down your legs, discarding them on the floor along with all your other clothes. His fingers danced down the skin of your calves before he pulled your heels from your feet, the thud they made against the floor the only sound penetrating the silence of the room.

For a while neither of you moved, simply taking in the sights before you; you laid across the bed in not a stitch of clothing, legs spread slightly for Steve to kneel between, chest heaving with anticipation as you took in Steve. Steve’s hair had fallen slightly out of its neat styling, no doubt from your fingers that had tugged on his blonde locks as you kissed him feverishly, his cock was already hard curling up to his abs, the tip an angry red desperate to be touched.

Covering your body with his, Steve caged your head in between his bulging arms as his mouth came down to press soft kisses against your jaw, “God, you are stunning.”

Before you could respond his lips pressed against your swollen ones once again causing you to moan into his mouth at the contact. You bucked your hips against his, your wetness coating his length are it slid through your folds, you gasped into his mouth as the swollen tip of his cock nudged against your clit. You hooked a leg over his hip subtly telling him to touch you already and he chuckled into your mouth at your desperation.

“Don’t worry Doll, I’ll take care of you,” Steve muttered against your lips, pressing a finale chaste kiss there before slithering down your body until he reached the apex of your thighs. You leaned up on your elbows at the realisation of what was happening, his breath fanning over your dripping core making you shudder in anticipation.  Steve pressed light kisses down your thighs reaching your pussy before switching thighs and giving the other the same treatment.

Your hips bucked, trying to get him to pay attention to where you needed him and his arm lay across your stomach, pinning your hips to the bed before he peeked up at you, mischievous eyes locking on yours as he licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit. You threw your head back at the contact, eyes clenching shut as you finally felt his tongue tracing along your folds, tasting everything you had to over him. His lips moved to lock tightly around your clit, sucking it between his lips as his tongue traced around the sensitive bud in his mouth; your hands clenched in the sheets beneath you as you released the most inhuman sound.

Pleasure shot through your body as Steve lapped at your pussy like a man starved and you knew you wouldn’t last long under his relentless treatment. Steve moved his other hand down from where it was gripping your thigh, fingers lightly dancing along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as the muscles twitched under him up to your cunt, coating his fingers in your slick before pushing one digit into you. Once you adjusted to the feeling, he added another leaving you panting on the bed, incoherently begging for more but he understand you just fine, curling his fingers inside of you seeking out your g-spot.

One of your hands gripped your breast, fingers tugging on your nipple as the other weaved through Steve’s short hair, tugging on the strands as he moaned around your clit causing you to cry out at the vibrations shooting through you. Steve’s fingers brushed against your g-spot and you felt the coil in your stomach tightening, you knew you weren’t going to last much longer as he continued suckling on your clit and rubbing the tips of his fingers against your g-spot.

“Fuck, Steve fuck please, don’t stop baby gonna cum, gonna -fuck” You spat out, choking on your words as Steve increased the speed of his fingers.

“Come on Y/N, cum for me Doll,” Steve murmured into your pussy. You were done for, the coil in your stomach tightening unbelievably before snapping, your pussy clenching around Steve’s fingers as you rode out your orgasm on his face, pleasure bliss filling every inch of you. Steve eased up the arm clung around your waist to give you more room to move, his mouth drinking everything you had to offer him with the obscenest slurping noises that only served to turn you on more.

Your lay spent on the bed as you came down from your high, Steve licking your pussy clean before pressing kisses up your body until he was once again hovering over you. You felt his weight over you, a comforting feeling a peeked your eyes open to see his face, lips glossy and swollen in a face splitting grin as his eyes shone with glee.

“You feeling ok Doll?” He asked, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

You let out a breathy laugh, still panting lightly from your orgasm, “More than ok Steve, gotta say didn’t expect you to be that good.”

Steve shot you a roguish grin leaning down to whisper in your ear, “Think you can go again babydoll?”

It was then that you felt the heavy weight of Steve’s hard cock on pressing against your thigh and your eyes rolled back at the thought of what he could do with it, you hummed in response pressing kisses along his neck as he gripped his cock, pumping it a few times before lining it up with your core. He looked into your eyes, checking once again you were ok and you smiled in response before pushing slowly into you, filling you to the hilt. Steve growled as he felt your walls finally wrap around his cock, the sound of your mewls in his ear only serving to turn him on more and he had to stop himself from fucking you into the mattress before you’d adjusted to his size.

When you finally adjusted, you bucked your hips against his, a silent plea to move. Steve’s hand moved to grip your hip, keeping you steady as he stated to slowly pump his hips into yours, head falling into your neck as he groaned into your sweat slicked skin. Steve pulled your leg up higher, hitching it over his hip so he could hit even deeper within you, cock reaching new depths of your cunt as your nails clawed at his back when he hit your g-spot, swollen tip grazing it with every thrust of his hips. You were still sensitive from your previous orgasm, pussy still twitching and driving you towards you second sooner than you expected.

“Fuck Steve, please fuck so close,” You moaned unabashedly as Steve sped up his hips up, your bodies writhing together in perfect sync, the room filled with your cries, his grunts and the headboard repeatedly slamming against the wall with each plough of Steve’s hips into you creating a symphony of pornographic melodies. Steve’s lips attacked yours in a sloppy kiss, uncoordinated but desperate to feel your lips on his, the movement of his hips losing their finesse as he neared his own edge.

“Urgh, Y/N so close, gonna cum – fuck – doll,” Steve groaned, his short hair falling onto his forehead to sticking to the sweat coated skin. His hand left the grip on your hip to trail his fingers towards your core, circling your sensitive clit quickly with tight circles.

Your back arched off the bed, screaming towards the ceiling as your release washed over you, cunt clenching around Steve’s cock setting off his own orgasm, pumping into you a few final times as he released thick jets of cum into you muttering curses under his breath as he did so. Feeling completely spent you collapsed onto the bed, Steve falling down beside you and pulling you to his chest, wrapping you in his arms as you both panted, basking in your post-coital bliss.

“Wow, that was…wow,” Steve stated breathlessly making you giggle as you tried to regain yourself. Steve pressed a kiss to your forehead as he chuckled along with you, pulling you closer to him.

“It was.”

For a while you were content to just lay in his arms, the strong sound of his beating heart beneath you creating a sense of serenity as you traced senseless patters on the skin of his chest. You pressed a kiss to his chest before looking up at him a bashful smile on your face when you saw he was already staring at you with such affection you thought you were going to combust with happiness.

“I’m sorry I’d been avoiding you and Bucky for the past few months, I just-” You cut yourself of when Steve stiffened beneath you at your words, worry flooding the features of his face, “Steve what’s wrong?”

Steve didn’t respond, instead moving to hastily get out of bed, pulling his clothes back on and avoiding your gaze at all costs. You wrapped the sheet around your naked body as you got up, grabbing Steve’s arm and turning him to face you but he refused to meet your gaze. He wore a guilty expression and it only added to your confusion but before you could ask him again what was wrong he spoke up, his tone broken and remorseful, “Y/N, this was a mistake, it never should have happened.”

“What?”

“Just – please, we can still be friends, right?” He sounded distressed, like the idea you would say no could possibly kill him and you felt tears spring to your eyes.

A mistake? So he doesn’t want me? But he still wants to be my friend? I don’t understand?

“Sure Steve,” Your voice was raspy and honestly you wanted to say so many things; make him tell you what was wrong, what this was, you wanted to scream at him for the way he was leaving you but most of all you just wanted him to leave because you knew you were going to be in floods of tears soon and you didn’t want him to see you like that.

Steve hurried to collect the reminder of his things as you stood there awkwardly, completely unsure of yourself and feeling more than a little humiliated at the turn of events. Before he left your room, Steve turned to you in the doorway, “Y/N, please don’t tell anyone about this.”

You couldn’t look at him, eyes trained on the ground as you nodded numbly at him. When you heard the click of the door shut you collapsed to the floor in a heap of sobs, feeling your heart shatter as the man you loved walked out on you as if you were the worst mistake of his life. The joy that you regained at being around Steve quickly dissipated and the familiar gloom of loneliness filled you once more. You managed to crawl back into your bed, feeling fatigue set in from everything that had just transpired; tears dotted your pillow as a fitful sleep overtook you.  You were right, you were better away from them.  

[that-was-anticlimactic]

Angst Week Day Three: Hunger, Slipping (Cole)

Warnings: slight body shaming, slight fat shaming, eating disorders, vomit, self-harm through eating disorder, ‘intense’ social anxiety

Some of the parts may seem super extra but this is also about social tendencies and how the ninja are stereotyped by citizens and how the ninja portray themselves in public!

I almost deleted one of the parts at the party because it seemed too extra, but I wrote a line about highschool that I really liked so I didn’t delete it lol, I also wrote that part at midnight haha

~~~

“Why can’t they see what I see? Why can’t they hear the lies? Maybe the fees too pricey for them to realize, your disguise is slipping...”

He hadn’t had cake in forever… in fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he ate cake! So when Cole found out Darkley’s was providing them with cake, the young angsty rebel dancer inside of him wanted to eat as many pieces as he could fit in his mouth!

And he did! He ate a lot of the creamy chocolate cake, and it was delicious! But after that day at Darkley’s, things got weird.

The team made a few jokes about his love for cake, naturally. They all teased each other, it was all in good fun, he didn’t mind. But then they were out in public for a press conference one day, and the kids and teachers at Darkley’s presented each ninja with an award.

Lloyd, Kai, Jay, Nya, and Zane all received certificates with their names on it.

He received a piece of cake with his name on it.

A kind gesture, sure, but when Gayle Gossip asked why Cole received cake, Brad answered, “Cole is obsessed with cake! The day they saved us, he ate almost the entire cake by himself!”

Cole blushed and laughed along with everyone else— it didn’t matter.

A month or two later, after the final battle, there was a special on the television about the ninja, which the team all watched together.

There were a bunch of kids and each said why they loved the ninja.

“I like the black one a lot!” one kid spoke up. Cole sat up straighter, beaming. Finally! After hearing every single kid talk about literally everyone on the team but him, he was excited to hear someone liked him!

“Why do you like the black one?” Gayle asked.

“Because he eats a lot and likes cake and food and I do too!” the kid continued brightly. Cole’s grin fell as his teammates roared with laughter.

Another kid spoke up, “Yeah! I like the food ninja!”

… the food ninja? Is that all he was? He just hadn’t had cake in years because it was banned in his house… no one liked him because he was brave like Kai or caring like Zane or creative and positive like Jay (all things said about them in the interview)... they only thought he was funny because he liked cake…

~~~

Between Tournament and Possession… 

He was really nervous. He didn’t want to be here.

But, of course, the day of the banquet the mayor was throwing in celebration of some historical thing, Lloyd, Kai, and Jay had plans together, Nya was sick, and Zane and Lloyd were on a duos mission.

Cole and the others agreed that they didn’t want to be rude and decline the offer to attend, and Cole had thought they were going to offer to change their plans, but no. They decided that Cole should go to some city banquet by himself.

Alone.

Cole chuckled hastily as he adjusted his collar and tie. He looked around at all these people he didn’t know, all dressed up and laughing daintily as if they’d known each other for years…

The room was filled with hundreds of people, yet Cole still felt alone.

Some banquet this was.

He’d spoken to a few people throughout the night. The mayor kindly thanked him for his service, his wife agreed, and they shook his hands.

A younger woman, probably in her early twenties, approached him and said, “Are the other ninja going to be attending this evening?”

Cole has shook his head. “No, sorry. I was the only one available to come tonight.”

The woman looked him up and down and snorted. “The fire ninja couldn’t come?”

Cole held back the want to roll his eyes. So, she just wanted to get at Kai. “No, he’s busy,” he replied in the most polite voice he could muster.

She scoffed and marched away from him.

He shrugged. Whatever. Good riddance.

After that, Cole overheard an awkward argument between a girl and her friend.

“Come on, Mia! Go talk to him!” one girl said, non-discreetly urging her in Cole’s direction.

“Ugh, but I don’t want to, Riley!” the girl, Mia, groaned.

“It’s not like he’s doing anything else! He’s been standing at the drink table all night! Besides, imagine how cool you’ll be when you go to school Monday and tell everyone you danced with one of the ninja!” Riley argued.

Mia hummed in thought. “Yeah, but I’d rather it be the fire ninja!”

Another girl who wants to get in Kai’s pants, Cole thought, slightly agitated but grateful that he never had to deal with any of the crazed fans like Kai did.

“Yeah, but he’s not here, so this one will have to do!”

Mia then leaned in and began whispering something to Riley. Cole wished he could say he didn’t care to know what they were saying, but the lonesome teenage in him took over and he leaned a bit closer and listened a bit more intently.

“— I can’t be seen with the earth and food ninja, he’s, ehhh, he’s just not my type, ya know? He’s a little too chubby and if I go around telling people I was with him can you imagine what guys at school would think they’d have a chance with me?”

Cole stiffened. Is that… is that… true? He had been eating a lot more than usual lately, but… he didn’t want to! People just kept giving him food and expecting him to eat it and he couldn’t say no because they made it specifically for him because they thought he’d like it and he wants to make his friends happy! Besides, he trains a lot and he can’t go a day without exercising, does that do nothing for him but make him really strong?”

The Riley girl sighed. “Yeah I guess you’re right. Of all the ninja, why did the least interesting one have to be here?”

Cole wanted to speak up, but he knew it was just some popular teenage drama, and he wasn’t about to get into that. The team dropped out of school for a reason, their lives are hard enough without that toxicity.

Still, it hurt a bit. Not that he was into her in the slightest, but as a publicly closeted gay he can’t go around denying girls because he isn’t attracted to them.

He was probably dodging a bullet. If she did talk to him and they ended up dancing, he would just be next week’s gossip. Some lie twisted by the popular tyrants of Ninjago High.

He’s worth more than that.

Besides, it’s not fat, no no no, it’s just muscle. It’s just hard to tell beneath his dead shirt, vest, and jacket…

And of course he was the least interesting! He was silent, closed off! He didn’t talk much during interviews like the rest of the team because he preferred the background! He didn’t flirt with girls on the streets like Kai or crack jokes like Jay! Naturally, he’d be considered the ‘least interesting’!

It was just a string of bad luck. Just some mean girls, two of whom must have some rich parents because teens aren’t really supposed to attend banquets thrown by the mayor.

People didn’t hate him that much, they just loved Kai that much. And who could blame them? Kai’s attractive, flirtatious, radiates power, and extroverted, as opposed to his silent, strong, introverted self!

Things went from bad to worse as the night went on.

He didn’t feel comfortable asking anyone to dance, and he was too anxious to start a conversation with anyone, so Cole spent the evening standing by the refreshments table, drinking water whenever he got thirsty.

It was weird… for awhile everyone seemed to be focused solely on dancing but… as the night went on, he found that people were starting to stare at him. And not stare at him in awe because he was a ninja, but as if he were doing something wrong.

Cole checked his hair in the reflection of his glass, but it was the same as when he arrived. His shirt was still tucked in, he hadn’t rolled the sleeves up, his pants weren’t wrinkled or dirty… what was he doing wrong.

Eventually, a man around the age of the woman from before finally approached him and blatantly demanded, “Food ninja, why aren’t you eating?”

Cole blinked. “Excuse me?”

The man threw an exasperated look at his group of friends, who were slowly inching closer and closer to the conversation, before saying, “You’re the food ninja. You’re, like, obsessed with food and desserts and you haven’t eaten anything tonight, what’s up with that?”

It felt as if someone had stabbed him in the gut. “I-I’m not hungry…” he muttered sheepishly, slowly wrapping his arms around himself, almost like a protective bubble.

“Not hungry? What’s wrong with you? All anyone’s seen you do is eat!”

“That-that’s not-“

“The fire ninja is the angry hot one, the blue ninja is the funny one, the white one is the serious one, the green one is the hero, then there’s the girl, and there’s you, the ninja who eats a lot!” the man exclaimed, drawing the attention of most of the room, who all now stopped to watch.

“I- those are just stereotypes!” Cole meekly replied, willing the rage inside of him to fade so he wouldn’t act out in public.

“Okay, then tell us something about yourself, food ninja, what do you do other than eat?”

Cole felt everyone’s gaze on him. Was he being set up? Surely citizens were more competent than that! Were they just trying to get him to make a scene? Was this some sort of test? His breathing was getting faster and faster. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“I like to draw! I read a lot, and I’m actually pretty serious too! I used to dance, but now the only dance I enjoy is a hip-hop type of dance, I climb trees and go on walks— I love nature so much!” he wanted to say, but his words were caught in his throat.

Everyone was staring at him.

Then he heard a snicker. Soon, more and more people were trying to hide their laughter.

He can’t let this be on the news. He can’t let this incident get publicized. He can’t be the one who starts giving the ninja a bad rap. He can’t he can’t he can’t he can’t he can’t—

His eyes flickered into the cruel eyes of the man before him for just a moment, before he hung his head.

The man chuckled. “See, you’re the food ninja. The food ninja eats.”

Cole, defeated, just nodded.

As he turned to walk away, probably to the food table to fulfill his stereotype, he heard whispers.

“Heh, didn’t think he’d just give up like that. He can’t hold his ground. No wonder he’s the least valuable ninja.”

Cole clenched his fists. How did that phrase get out? Who spread it?

“I bet he didn't want to eat because he noticed how much weight he’s been gaining. He can’t keep up with the other ninja if he gets much fatter,” a female ‘whispered’ to her friend, who in turn attempted to hide a laugh.

Cole looked down at himself as he continued to trudge along. Was he really gaining weight that fast? Was it that noticeable?

“I think he’s funny. Ya know, he’s just so relatable because I wish I could stuff my face all of the time and then work it off like he does. I heard that’s why he trains so much.”

Cole scrunched his nose. He didn’t… he didn’t just eat all of the time and then work it off. Yeah, he works hard, trains a lot, exercises a lot, but he does that to prepare, not to lose weight he gained…

“I really wish the other ninja were here. They do more than just stand around and eat. Like, FSM, at least talk to us, right?” Laughter followed.

Cole held back tears. So, was he reduced to the food ninja because that’s all that was memorable about him? Was he really that bland and boring?

“Maybe I didn’t talk to you all because you were too busy talking about me behind my back!” he wanted to scream at the group. But he didn’t.

He eyes the cake on the table. His stomach flipped and his mouth felt dry. He didn’t want to eat the cake right now. He was so sick of cake! He had it like five times a week! He was starting to intensely dislike the taste and texture of cake!

… but everyone was watching him. He took a shaky breath before cutting a piece and placing it on his plate.

“Hey, save some cake for the rest of us, eh?” someone shouted at him when they saw the cake on his plate. The room erupted into laughter and Cole begrudgingly shrugged and shoveled cake into his mouth as they expected him to.

The party lit up again. People went back to dancing, the room was loud and full again…

But not before he heard a girl murmur, “FSM, what a pig.”

~~~

“How was the party?” Jay asked from the couch when he heard Cole enter the room later that night.

Cole grunted and shrugged. “Fine, I guess. Really wish you guys were there. I didn’t know anyone, it was kinda awkward… everyone was asking about you guys, though.”

He looked at the scene before him. The whole team was in the living room, half on the couch and half on the floor. Nya was surrounded by tissues and wrapped in a blanket, a bowl beside her, and Zane and Lloyd looked as if they had just gotten out of the shower. His heart ached. If they were all home… why didn’t they come late?

Zane gave him a sympathetic look. “I apologize, brother. If Lloyd and I had known our mission would have ended before you got home, we would have joined you without thought.”

Lloyd snorted. “After we got all of that mud off of us.”

Zane giggles. “Yes, after we washed all of the mud off!”

The group laughed, and it was almost like Cole was invisible. He was the only one who didn’t understand.

He started towards the fridge, as the guests at the banquet had insisted he take some leftovers to “appease his appetite”, and he wanted to put them away, when suddenly the group remembered he was there.

“Didn’t you eat at the party?” Kai bluntly asked. “Eh, just didn’t finish the chicken, okay? Zane’s using it for dinner tomorrow.”

Cole blushed, biting his lip, as he placed the leftovers in the back. He wasn’t hungry, but suddenly he felt like everyone was watching him again.

He slowly grabbed the box of leftover pizza, his stomach aching at the sight, and brought it with him to the couch.

He plopped down beside Jay, rolled his sleeves up, and carelessly threw his tie on the floor, before starting a piece of cold pizza.

He wanted to throw up.

~~~

Eat eat eat eat eat

Cole didn’t want seconds during dinner tonight, but it seemed like everyone was staring at him, waiting for him to pile mountains more food on his plate so they could say “First Spinjitzu Master, Cole, Save some for the rest of us!” and laugh, as they do every night. He knew they meant no harm, but...

Eat eat eat eat eat

He felt sick. He couldn’t eat anymore. But he had to. Everyone was watching him.

Shove it down.

Just keep eating.

Don’t look up.

Focus on the food.

First Spinjitzu Master, when had he gained all of this weight… it’s because he was a pig. A disgusting pig. That’s why no one likes him, yeah, because he’s a fat pig.

Eat eat eat eat eat eat

He couldn’t eat anymore.

His stomach ached, he mouth burned…

But he had to. He is his appetite. If he doesn’t eat he’s not important. If he doesn’t eat will anyone know who he is?

He vigorously shoved more food in his mouth, then excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Laughter.

His throat burned.

He panted, attempting to ignore the burning sensation before once more lifting his fingers to his mouth and puking.

Too fat. His dad would be so disappointed.

Too fat means too slow means too useless on missions.

The scent of the vomit only served to aid in his purging, the smell was putrid.

Why did it hurt so much? So much pain.

Panting. He was panting.

This was what he was supposed to do, right? If he’s not hungry, then who is he?

His head hung, resting on the toilet seat, all thoughts of sanitary had left his mind after his first round of purging all those weeks ago.

Who is he?

He was coughing now. His knees ached, his throat burned, his lips were dry, and his head pounded.

He begrudgingly lifted his heavy head, wiping the leftover spit of vomit running down his chin. Like always, he shakily grabbed the febreeze and sprayed the room, praying that no one would be able to smell it.

Let them think what they want.

He attempted to steady the shaking of his hands.

Then he walked back into the kitchen.

He was… hungry.

“I bring you pain, the kind you can’t suffer quietly. Fire up your brain, remind you inside you’re rioting, society is slipping, everything’s slipping away...”

~~~

I don’t know. Might make a sequel where Zane catches him puking.

[screenmotional]

EUROVISION SONG CONTEST: THE STORY OF FIRE SAGA (2020)

Dir. David Dobkin

“And 12 points go to...”

How many of us, ESC fans, get excited and pumped by hearing this sentence? The only good and correct answer is ALL OF US! The level of adrenaline is comparable to jumping out of a plane (I can only imagine)... The Eurovision Song Contest is an addictive dose of cheesy music, tacky but stunning outfits and the lines from a tipsy but funny Graham Norton (for those watching in the UK), who will judge anything and anyone. What is not to like?

Netflix is known for releasing some good super productions, but it is also known for producing some average “pleaser” films, that are not very deep and are easily forgettable, but that always find their audience anyway. I am trying to think in which of those two categories does The Story Of Fire Saga belong? Currently, with an IMDb score of 6.6/10 from over 30k votes, this easy and funny movie is not doing as bad as I was imagining after watching the trailer. I am not a huge fan of Will Ferrell but I like Rachel McAdams. The first one is known for being a silly ‘extra’ star on SNL sketches and performing in some stupid comedies. I can’t think of anything else when I think of Ferrell. The second one has marked her presence in the movie industry by being the muse of directors like Woody Allen, Brian De Palma and even playing Regina George in “Mean Girls”, which can be considered a classic pop culture film. Being biased set my mind to dislike this feature as I simply can’t stand Will Ferrell. But I gave it a go. On a Sunday afternoon, being hangover and not looking for anything too ambitious, I watched a story about two passionate musicians from an Icelandic village that wanted to fulfill their dreams of winning the Eurovision Song Contest. No one, including Lars’ (Ferrell) father (played by a well aged Pierce Brosnan) believed in them. And neither did I. But I was wrong. Everything works in this picture. Released in a year where many live events have been cancelled, including the ESC, this piece is a saviour. David Dobkin gave us a joyful piece of musical elations so loved by millions (the 2014 ESC was watched by 204 million people worldwide!) which filled the gap of not having the live contest this 2020. In these specific times, films like this one are mood fixers. Jokes are silly and shallow, but so is the contest itself. With the perfect symbiosis of a love story and a plot twist, Dobkin invites us to a world as addictive as the ESC. There is a perfect dose of music and a few original songs, that will make your feet move, while you watch locked in your house. Will you be tempted to stand up and dance & sing-a-long with Sigrid (McAdams) and Lars (Ferrell)? Absolutely! 

With beautiful images of Iceland, a cameo from many known singers from the world's biggest song competition and music industry (Conchita Wurst, Jamala, Demi Lovato, etc.) and inviting viewers behind the scenes of how the show production really works, this motion picture just joined the “That was fun!” category. The soundtrack, the styling of the costumes, the set design are spot on and very Eurovision. All ESC fans will catch the vibe right away and feel a certain degree of nostalgia. It is not perfect, but it ticks all the boxes of this genre. If a movie makes you switch off for a while and makes you feel good, its mission is complete!

EUROVISION SONG CONTEST: THE STORY OF FIRE SAGA is available to watch on Netflix as part of subscription.

[raisincookieswrites]

Podsnezhnik

Warnings: None

Relationship: Bucky Barnes & OFC

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Original Female Character

Tags/Additional Warnings: Fluff

Summary: A secret Hydra bunker existed with a number of other chemically manufactured weapons after the success of the Fist of Hydra.  Most were caught and only one remained missing - a trained killer and a daughter of one of the first super-soldiers

It was a frigid evening in mid-December; the drizzling rain of Portland, Oregon hung like a perpetual vail in the air and gave the world a theatrically ethereal glow.  Twinkling fairy lights from decorations which festooned the outside of shops and cafes blurred as they draped themselves festively through the severed branches of Norwegian Pines and bulky red bows which now hung heavy and saturated.  The wet sidewalks reflected the light and prisms of white and silver lit up the darkness.

Once-upon-a-time the cold wouldn’t have bothered him, a long time ago it had seeped deeply into his bones and trickled through his veins like gelatinous blood.  The coldness slowly became his normal until he didn’t consider being anything else.  His winters in Germany and Russia, followed by cryofreeze, had done that to him; removed any familiar feelings of warmth until the coldness had become a state of being.

The last few years he had become pampered and far less poetic compared to his time as the Winter Soldier.  Tony Stark had joked that he had become a princess and every so often, during one of these ribbings, Bucky would allow a small smile to tug at his lips.  Perhaps it was true.  Perhaps these days he preferred a scalding bath whenever the memories of the cold would clawingly return to him; and perhaps he liked the feeling of cashmere against his skin when the familiar scent of heavy leather invaded his nostrils and the tinkling of icy buckles rang in his ears.

His heavy boots moved silently as he tailed his mark, ghosting through puddles and slushy mounds of snow cleared from doorways.  He didn’t have to be so silent, but it was a force of habit.  Cars still swept the street, their lights creating elongated shadows of pedestrians as they glided by; back to their warm suburban homes or on to an evening out.  The windows of restaurant were a buzz of activity, bathed in golden light as patrons laughed heartily over their glasses of Merlot and speared pieces of over-priced steak on dainty silver forks.

He skulked in the darkened doorway of a closed toy store as his mark stopped to survey the restaurant scene.  He angled his body so he could continue his surveillance; he paid fleeting attention to the carved wooden toys being displayed but he couldn’t help but wonder if people still bought these types of things for their children.  Now-a-days was it not all plastic tat and videogames?  He didn’t think that anyone cared these days about the carved wooden music box in the corner with the intricately engraved snowdrop flowers, or the varnished trainset which was so much fancier than anything Bucky could have wished for as a child.

They moved on again.  Meandering up the street until the din of loud music could be heard in the air; a printed sign held up with ropes against the railings proclaimed a high school winter formal and somewhere beyond that was the excited chatter and laughter of young teenage voices.  The mark scaled a low wall and crept along until a suitable vantage point was found; concealed partially by the thick branches of an evergreen and far enough away that the streetlights didn’t completely illuminate her.

She was beautiful, he thought to himself.  She looked like his mother had when she was younger; her nose rounded, her cheeks, her chin.  Her dark hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail which curled and frizzed with the dampness around them.  She reached into her jacket pocket, a jacket much to thin to ward away the chill of the winter night, and pulled out a protein bar; the wrapper rustled as she tore it open with her gloveless fingers, she broke off the end and nibbled at it savouringly. 

~~~~ 

The cold was something she was used to; it wasn’t something which she ever really thought about but she had learned quickly that not complying with the status quo would get you noticed.  So she tugged on her dark green jacket and zipped it all the way up.  She had copied her outfit from a girl she saw in the street one day; clumpy ankle boots, tight jeans and her dark green jacket.  It made her blend in more than her old black leather pants and jacket ever did; she no longer noticed the annoyed stares from women and the coy smiles from men.  Most evenings she would wonder the streets, passing her time by watching people and observing what they were doing; tonight, she didn’t have the luxury of time, she had plans.  She dropped by a small bottega, there were a half dozen other customers and when she slipped a few peanut butter protein bars into her pocket it went wholly unnoticed.  She left again quietly and carried on her way.

She took her favourite route, up past the restaurants and shops; the little twinkling lights strung around her like stars in the sky and she didn’t think there would ever be a place as magical as Portland. Where she lived in Russia now seemed so barren and desolate; before it had been home, regardless of its concrete walls and rusting metal doors which creaked shrilly with every turn of a lock or a handle or a hinge.  The Portland street was still busy, she preferred it this way, it made her feel less alone.  Silly really when the reason why she was alone now was because she had chosen to be.

She still wasn't sure how she had managed to earn her freedom, somewhere in the dismantling of Hydra the bunker she was being trained in had become long forgotten.  A small group of six assassins had found their way free, her being one of them. The others had been irrational, angry and unpredictable and it hadn’t taken long for her to realise that her only chance of survival was to distance herself from them entirely and to get as far away from Russia as possible. She had never really been like them, she had been a science project gone wrong, instead of an injection of serum she had been a biological experiment created from Hydra's first super soldier.

She had never been as strong or as fast as them or as easily controlled as them, but Hydra had tried to train and control her regardless. The others had all been human beings in their own right, they each had a past and they each had a family; she had been bred in captivity.

She stopped, watching from across the street as a family of four ate dinner in of the restaurants; the mother tucking a crisp white napkin into the collar of a child’s dress.  She idly wondered if they had a dog at home; they seemed so perfect.  She didn’t have time for this, not tonight, she needed to be somewhere, so she carried on.  She had walked this route many times and her feet knew where to take her; she found this building weeks ago and it was teaming with people her age.  She had watched from across the street as they all filed in in organised chaos, books clutched under their arms and backpacks slung over their shoulders; she had surveyed them curiously as they all scattered at the ringing of a bell.  She visited here every day since.

Tonight they were having a party.  She stuck to the shadows, pulling herself onto a low wall and crawled along it on her hands and knees until she could hide behind a bushy tree still covered in green.  Her palms were muddy from the grit and the knees of her jeans soaked but she didn’t really notice or care.  She could hear the music, the voice of a female singer, and the beat of bass which she could feel reverberate through the wall.  Her stomach grumbled noisily and she tore open one of her peanut butter bars; she didn’t have much so she ate it slowly, enjoying the salty sweetness as it danced along her tongue.

She watched in awe, the corners of her mouth twitch upwards in a sad smile, their dresses long and glittery and coming in a rainbow of colours; they wobbled precariously in sandals with heels to high and too strappy to be either comfortable or practical.  They shrieked with giggles and threw their arms around their friends in delight.  Their hair had been coiffed, curled and hairsprayed and their faces made up with bold lips and smoky eyes, their jewellery over the top and glitzy.

She watched one girl with dark hair and dark eyes; she wore a floor length emerald dress and high gold shoes and a fluffy black jacket she looked like she’d wrestled an emu for.  Her parents helped her from the back of their car and she smiled widely as she posed for picture after picture; eventually she whined that she was missing the dance.  She wondered what it would be like to trade places with the girl in the green dress; to have parents bother her with so many pictures that she couldn’t get to her dance.  Would she be whiny and moan at them too, or would she humour them and bask for as long as she could in their seemingly never-ending attention? 

She wondered what it would be like to put on that dress and have her mother stand behind her and curl her hair.  To have her parents wrap their arms around her and give her a peck on the cheek and wish her a lovely night.

She shivered in the cold, a dull ache filled her chest and a stray tear bloomed from the corner of her eye. 

She would never be the girl in the emerald dress

Eventually they all disappeared inside, their parents calling at them to have fun and be careful and before she knew it the parking lot was empty and she was alone again.

She slipped down from the wall and headed home; through the park she playfully wobbled along a low wooden fence as she used it as a balance beam.  The wind whipped at her damp hair and nipped her face as she took a brief shot on the swings; the seat of her jeans now as wet as her knees.  She flopped back and let her hair drag along the murky ground and watched the world from upside down.  Eventually she moved on, clambering up the fire escape until she reached the rooftop with its abandoned greenhouse; a roof terrace long forgotten.  Rotten wood and peeling paint and dirty glass which let in the sunlight whenever it dared to not rain.  This was the oasis in the middle of Portland which she had called home.

~~~~

He should have taken her at the school, nobody had been around and the music would have been too loud had there been a struggle; nobody would of heard them.  Regardless, he could have easily overpowered her; Steve was here too, lurking somewhere out of sight.

The park was in darkness, the sign at the entrance proclaimed it was past their closing hours but he watched her play; it had almost been carefree but after the glistening of her tears under the streetlight he knew differently.  But, she was a child soldier, trained to kill, a far cry from the teenager who was winding her legs around the ropes of the swing so she could dangle upside down.  He had read her file and he knew who she was and what she was; a genetic experiment which didn’t quite work but also sort of did.  She wasn’t as strong as those injected with the serum; she would never win in hand-to-hand combat so she had made a wise choice when she had left the others.

The others had been rogue, they had committed violent crimes and drew attention to themselves; they had to be hunted down and stopped, some had died in the fighting whilst others they had managed to wrangle in to custody.  The girl was the only one left; she had evaded them for months and somehow managed to make it to the States, a fleeting glance at a CCTV camera had eventually tracked her down.

He watched her patiently as she knelt on the floor of the greenhouse her head lowered as she carefully ripped the image of a snowdrop from the glossy pages of a magazine.  He would wait until she realised she was not alone; the time had come to bring her in and he let out a quiet sigh.

She stilled, the ripping of paper halted in the stillness of the evening; even the rain had, for a brief interlude, stopped pattering down on the glass roof.  She spun on the ground and looked up at him in fright.

Those eyes.  She had inherited those straight from him and they penetrated deep into his soul. 

She didn’t speak but she swallowed thickly.

“Hey,” he murmured gravely.

She blinked, “have you come to kill me?” she asked softly.  It was the first time he had heard her speak and the lilting Russian accent made him smile; it was a far cry from the rest of the Barnes’ Brooklyn drawl.

“I’ve not come to kill you,” he clarified; he meant it.  It would not be his intention, but he also knew that if she turned out to be as homicidal as the others he may be left with little choice.  “May I come in?” he asked.

She slowly rose to her feet and gave him an uncertain nod as she backed away; her snowdrop picture crumpling slightly in her nervous hands.  He noted how young she looked, she was still a child really and yet here she was, cast out into the world with nothing and nobody.  She had tried to make the greenhouse comfortable; she had festooned the rusting nails which protruded from the woodwork with lots of strands of twinkling fairy lights which cast a warm golden glow and reflected against the glass.  She had started a collage of flower images and stuck them overlapping along the wooden frame; it wasn’t finished yet if the white floral picture in her hands was anything to go by. 

A couple of pallets made up the base of her bed; they were topped with a thick layer of spongy foam and a few blankets and scatter cushions.  Above her bed she had tacked more pictures cut from magazines adverts; he recognised a couple of them.  One was for vitamins and showed a family laughing as they ran over a grassy lawn with a gold retriever; another was for taco meal kit which illustrated a family enjoying dinner around the table.  He stopped looking after that; his chest ached, these were the images she looked at before she closed her eyes at night.  It made sense, the family in the restaurant and the girl in the green dress.  A life she had never known but somehow longed for it above everything else.

His fingers brushed the security tag of one of her blankets and he toyed with it silently.

“I couldn’t get this off,” she told him nervously, her gentle voice quivering.

He tapped it with the tip of his finger, “I think the people at the cash desk are meant to remove them once you pay for them.”

It was a subtle reprimand on his part and he watched as her cheeks heated and she looked away, scolded.  He instantly felt bad.

“I like all the lights,” he offered, trying to change the subject.

Her eyes light up and she looked up at them fondly, “I did it myself,” she told him.  A hint of pride evident in her voice.

“They’re very pretty,” he told her as he smiled at her.  “We should go soon though; would you like to take them with you?”

Her soft smile faded and her eyes welled with tears; the snowdrops crushed in her hands and she gave a small shake of her head.

“They should stay here,” she told him quietly, “for the next person who needs them.”

She paused, “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” her voice tearful, “if you want me to do that, can you kill me now, please?”

“I don’t want you to hurt anyone,” he murmured.  “You won’t hurt anyone, and nobody will hurt you.  Not anymore.”

[d6official]

K-POP GROUP DAY6 GEAR UP FOR WORLD TOUR WITH NEW EP ‘THE BOOK OF US: GRAVITY’

While DAY6 are known for producing some of the most heart-tugging alternative rock songs in the Korean music industry, the band under JYP Entertainment amps up the tempo and showcase their fluidity on their new EP, The Book of Us: Gravity.

The new EP features six new self- written and composed songs by members Jae, Sungjin and Young K, including the band's new single, "Time of Our Life." The release of Gravity on Monday (July 15) follows news of the group's world tour, which kicks off August in Seoul. Making their way around the world with 31 stops, DAY6 will dedicate the month of September for their stops in the U.S. Starting with a two-night show at the PlayStation Theater in New York (September 12 and 13), the band will visit five more cities before concluding in Los Angeles (September 28 and 29).

The quintet, comprised of Jae, Sungjin, Young K, Wonpil and Dowoon, made their debut under JYP Entertainment in 2015 with their EP, The Day. Though they may not be your typical dancing K-pop idol group, each member of the band plays a crucial role in weaving their instrumental talents and vocals.

Below, Jae and Young K discuss the change in tempo on their new album, their music process, favorite anime and their upcoming tour.

You’re back with new music and you’re about to embark on your biggest tour to date. Has the feeling settled in?

Jae: We’re excited because this album's a little different. We’ve gotten a lot of idea contributions; everything that we’ve experienced, we feel, we share, we see is kind of portrayed in our music whether we like it or not and I think that’s a good thing because it’s good to be honest. But as for our upcoming world tour we are super excited because we get to see everybody again

There are more cities than there were before. Which are you most excited to visit?

Jae: One, especially for Wonpil, is Milan. He’s always wanted to visit Italy and his favorite soccer team in Italy is AC Milan. In general we are always excited because new places give us new experiences, which gives us really good memories as well as new experiences that we can put back into our music. Anywhere period is always great for us.

Your new single, “Time of Our Lives,” has a change in tempo compared to your past releases. What triggered this change?

Jae: It wasn’t so much that we sat down and decided, "Guys, we need to change the tempo,” but I guess, especially during our last world tour, we felt like there was a necessity for more concert-geared music, you know what I mean? There are a lot of songs where everyone is jumping and everyone is having a real good time. We wanted to be able to really tap in and connect with the audience, our fans and the people who come to watch our shows a little bit more. For example, in the middle of the song if there’s a clap section everyone can clap along. I guess, with that in mind, we started on the new album and a lot of concert-oriented music came out. Therefore, our title song just became the BPM that it is. I don’t think it necessarily was like... we said, “We need to make it faster." We make what we like to make.

I read it as a song of hope and I thought it embodies the sound of someone who is about to embark on a new chapter in their lives, which comes across even more clearly when you read the lyrics. It made me think of it as an OST to your lives as a band. Which brings me to my next question: What is your favorite anime?

Young K: For me it’s definitely One Piece; I’ve been watching it since I was very young. Recently, I started re-watching it from Episode 1 up until the most recent episode, which took me like 3 months. I watch it all the time

Jae: For me it’s Your Lie in April. Not because it’s music-oriented, but it’s definitely my favorite. I don’t watch anime, I read manga and it definitely contains the saddest pages of manga I’ve ever seen.

You two are usually involved in producing and writing your music; can you walk me through your musical process?

Young K: It differs from song to song. Sometimes it can happen from a guitar riff or bass riff or a lyric idea. Sometimes I come up with a melody, but most of the time we come up with a track first and then everybody gets together and we just sing along as if it’s a song that we already know. Then we compare each melody to each other’s and we choose the best one. We then write down the lyrics and record.

Is there an instance where you guys just hum it first and you’re like, “Oh this could be a something!”?

Young K: Sometimes we do that, but most of the time we just come up with a track and when the guitar instrumental is playing everybody just writes down the melody.

Jae: I feel like that’s how a lot of music creators in Western areas like North America make music these days. They take a track, sing over it and sing over it again then cut out pieces and mix and match to make a good song. We have four members that all do that, so it’s a little bit easier for us I think.

Young K, since you write a lot of the songs, what inspires you? Do you take influence from movies or real life events?

Young K: I guess the experiences that I had when I was living in Canada helped me a lot. I used to live alone, away from my parents, so I got to live a very free life. Those experiences helped me a lot, but at one point I got stuck with writer’s block. I needed inspiration from anywhere at that point so daily conversations and sometimes movies. Movies have influenced 3 or 4 songs. There’s the song “Man in a Movie” which was inspired by the movie Me Before You.

Is there anyone who you’d love to write a song for?

Young K: I’ve always wanted to write a song about my father and dedicate it to him. But I’ve always been afraid to, I feel like I need to know more about life in order to sing about him. I always feel like I’m too young. For example, in this album there’s a song called “Cover (포장).” We came up with the track first and when I was writing with Sungjin he wanted to write about our fathers, but I said, “No, not yet. Let’s talk about something else.” So instead we talked about covering ourselves up. And for an artist maybe I would like to write for ... I’ve never thought of it. Jae as a solo artist, that’s my answer! Maybe all of the DAY6 members as solo artists!

Like a special album?

Young K: Mhm, like everybody writing for each other.

Jae: I think it’s also because Young K, when he writes melodies, he’s really good at thinking about what that person would sound like and making it best match them. Even with the lyrics it’s easier for us to sing when we have to sing them.

Your music speaks to thousands of fans worldwide. What do you do in your times of struggle? Whenever you’re stressed or struggling, what do you do or what music do you listen to?

Young K: Well, I’m not the type of guy who listens to music when I’m stressed because most of the stress comes from music. Before, when I was younger, I could enjoy music without thinking, but now when I listen to music I always think, "Oh, I could use this from here” and so on. So I tend not to listen to music. If I’m stressed, and I have time, I usually travel.  

Jae: I think I agree with Young K because we’re always on and off writing songs, no matter what our schedule is, when we listen to music now the first thing we always catch isn’t an enjoyment of the song. It’s more like, “Oh! He did this with this?” or “He used this kind of arrangement with this kind of melody here? This guy's wild, bro.” Even if we don’t want it to be, and we do enjoy this process a lot, it’s just that it does become somewhat hard. I guess I cool my head off by playing a lot of games. But the most important thing about the games is that it’s with friends over voice chat. There are friends from overseas that I can’t always see and that’s always kinda nice. Because speaking English is nice.

Are there any words you have for fans who are going through tough times?

Jae: I think something that we really focus on, via melody or lyrically, is that our songs are songs that people can really vibe with. Not just musically, but lyrically they understand where we’re coming from and they have felt it. Whether it’s growing pains or whatever emotion it was at that point in life, you know? And if they vibe with that, if they’re feeling heartbreak through our song or if they’re feeling joyful through our song because our song is emitting that kind of aura, then we really just wanna say thank you because that’s all we want. That’s all we ever want. So I guess just a really big thank you to everyone that’s really feeling through our songs.

Considering you two somewhat kick-started your music careers through YouTube, almost more than a decade ago, what changes have you seen in Korean music while it continues to make its way globally?  

Jae: I feel like when we were younger K-pop, at least in my environment or my neighborhood, it was hard to openly say like, “I really like K-pop”; especially to non-Asian friends. But now that it’s becoming a little bit more accepted and gaining popularity in the global scene I feel like a lot of people are going to be a little bit more open to that kind of music in general. I feel like, for all musicians in general, any genre opening up to the world is an opportunity for everyone else, whether they’re in K-pop or not, to further deliver their music to people who haven’t listened to them. So, positive-good vibes.

Speaking of, can we expect a JaeSix comeback soon? Everyone’s asking.

Jae: So, me and the boys have been planning a little bit, about things that we could do. I can’t promise when, but it will definitely come. We’ve been plotting.

Alright, I’m excited for that. While speaking of the tour, if there is something the world must know about you guys before you conquer their cities, what would it be?

Young K: The energy that we get from the audience and that we can share with them.

Jae: If you’re coming to our show, if you listen to our music, bring all of your baggage. Bring all of your stress, bring all of your worries because we’re gonna settle that. It’s gonna be a good night.  

© Pop Crush

[stevesnightmares]

Top 25 Doctor Who episodes

They are in chronological order, from season 1 (2005) to season 11 (2018), not of preference, two parters are counted as one episode. (edit: I had forgotten about “Midnight, so there are 26 now instead of 25, ops?)

★ S01E06 "Dalek" this episode really made me love the 9th doctor, Christopher performance was fantastic, I wish they had given him more time on the show so that we could have seen more of that rage.

★ S01E09-10 "The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances", this will be no surprise to anyone because it's a fan favourite of almost everyone, but that's because it's such a well written episode, creepy and intriguing, original and with a beautiful and heartwarming ending. That "For once everybody lives" always makes me tear up a bit.

★S01E12-13 "Bad Wolf/The Parting of Ways", RTD has always had beautiful endings and this surely is one, emotional and beautiful, but also funny at times. The final part where Rose looked into the TARDIS and her interactions with the Daleks was badass as fuck, and her interaction with the Doctor was beautiful. And let's not talk about "You were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!"

★ S02E08-09 "The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit", this is such an underrated episode but a brilliant one. It's scary and it always keeps you on your toes because you don't know what's going to happen. I didn't appreciate it enough the first time I saw, only when I rewatched it I realized how good it was.

★S02E12-13 "Army of Ghosts/Doomsday", of course this is going to be on the list, Rose was my first companion and seeing her go was a devastating experience that I can't forget. I remember seeing this episode for the first time and crying like a baby just during the initial monologue "[...] But then came the Army of Ghosts. Then came Torchwood and the war. That's when it all ended. This is the story of how I died." Still crying over this. And let's not talk about the wall scene. You know which one.

★S03E01 "Smith and Jones", when I first watched season 3 I didn't appreciate it enough because I was mourning Rose's departure and couldn't get over it, however, when I rewatched it, I finally was able to appreciate this season because it's a really good season. I know this episode is an odd choice, not a lot of people talk about this specific episode, but I think it's a really good episode, really enjoyable, but not too heavy, and Martha in this episode is absolutely brilliant, we can see just how smart and brave and smart and smart she really is.

★ S03E08-09 "Human Nature/The Family of Blood", this is another really popular and loved episode by the fandom, and again, there is a really good reason. This episode it's fun but also emotional, it's really original and super intriguing. And of course we can't forget to mention the "fury of a time lord", that scene where he punishes the family of blood is just perfect. Loved it.

★ S03E12-13 "The sound of Drums/Last of the time lords", as I said, RTD finales are absolutely brilliant, and this, like the others, is brilliant too. It shows what a complete badass Martha is, traveling the world all alone because she is a woman on a mission. I didn't really like how the doctor got back to normal, but let's not think about it too much. My favourite scene ever, that gave me the chills is when Martha finds out what's inside those robots, it still gives me chills every time I see that scene.

★S04e08-09 "Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead", again, this is a really predictable episode, but it is a beautiful two parter. The villain is brilliant and super scary, the whole concept of the episode is brilliant and it's executed perfectly, and we are also introduced to River, for whom we are sad when she dies the first time we see it but it's so much better when you rewatch the episode after having watched all the other episodes with her, including The husband of River Song, which take place right after this episode.

★ S04E10 "Midnight" do I even have to explain why this episode, which is loved by everyone, is in this list? I don't think so.

★ S04E11 "Turn Left", this episode is criminally underrated. I LOVE this episode with all of my heart. When people talk about Blink, they praise it because it was brilliant even tho the doctor wasn't even in it, well this is brilliant and the doctor isn't in it. This episode is so devastating to watch trough the eyes of a human, the devastation and pain that is caused by the fact that the doctor is not there to save earth is just, you know, devastating. I don't know how to explain how much I love this episode.

★ S04E12-13 "The stolen earth/Journey's end" another beautiful finale from RDT. Not only because it's a beautiful episode but also because we got EVERYONE in this episode, Rose, Jack, Martha, Sarah Jane, Donna, Micky, Jakie literally everyone was there, and it was just beautiful to finally see again some old friends.

★ S05E01 "The Eleventh Hour" this was a perfect introduction to the new doctor, we needed something strong that could make us like him after loosing Tennant, someone that everyone loved, and this episode did it. Matt did and incredible job in this episode, which introduces to Amy and Rory, the crack in time and space and the new doctor. I loved the episode and 11 speech was just phenomenal, really made me like him instantly.

★ S05E02 "The beast below", I guess this can be considered an odd choice, because I never hear anyone talk about this specific episode, but I loved it, it was fun and it also showed us a bit more about the doctor, how he is, what's his moral compass like, how he acts and reacts to things, and also we learned more about Amy. The plot was really interesting and cool, at time a bit creepy but also really sad because of what happened to that whale-thing.

★S05E04-05 "The time of angels/Flesh and stone", I actually have no clue of how people feel about this episode, but I personally really loved them, we got the angels, the crack in time and space, cool moments with River, Amy and the doctor, it was exciting and it was cool, but also a bit emotional at times.

★S05E12-13 "The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang" Moffat showed us that he could make a good finale too. I really loved this finale, it's so exciting and it ties a lot of ends together, which is always cool to see it happen. The Pandorica speech is one of my favourite moments ever and also we got Rory back. Really awesome ending that didn't leave you underwhelmed and it was completely satisfying.

★ S06E01-02 "The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon" is one, if not the best opener ever. It just keeps you hooked and excited, not only for these two episodes, but for the whole season. The episode literally starts with the death of the doctor, and then it introduced a new and cool villain that is the Silence.

★S06E04 "The doctor's wife" is one of the best episodes ever, it has a cool and we'll executed concept, it's really emotional but also cool as hell? And it also has one of my favourite quotes ever "Fear me I've killed hundreds of time lords" "Fear me, I've killed all of them".

★ S06E07 "A Good Man Goes To War" is just PERFECT, the plot twist were brilliant, they left me speechless, I cry and laughed and I just loved the episode. Bonus points because in this episode Rory was a complete badass. It has my favourite doctor who quote of all times

"Demons run when a good man goes to war

Night will fall and drown the sun

When a good man goes to war

Friendship dies and true love lies

Night will fall and the dark will rise

When a good man goes to war

Demons run, but count the cost

The battle's won, but the child is lost"

★ S06E08 "Let's Kill Hitler", from what I saw people don't really love this episode, but I absolutely did love it and this is my list, so here it is.

★S06E10 "The Girl Who Waited" this episode was really devastating but so so beautiful, this is another fan favourite, at least it was before, I haven't heard a lot people talk about it recently. But again, there is a good reason if it is so loved.

★ S06E11 "The God Complex" surprisingly I haven't seen anyone ever talk about this episode even though it absolutely brilliant and spectacular. It's not a really heavy episode, but heavy enough. It's also a bit of a strange episode, but not in a bad way.

★ The day of the doctor/The time of the doctor

★ S08E05 "Time Heist" this is not a really popular episode and I saw a lot of people say that they didn't like it, however I did, probably because I'm a slut for heist movies and this episode combined two things that I love, Doctor Who and Heist Movies.

★ S08E08 "Mummy on the Orient Express", this episode really blew me out of the way, it was just brilliant. I don't even know what to say, it just was.

★ S09E11 "Heaven Sent" (I know I said that two parters would count as one episode but I HATED Hell Bent, I'm not going to get into why or it'll take to long) This episode was probably one the best doctor who episodes ever , the acting was phenomenal, Capaldi is just great, and the plot and dialogue and monologue and plot twist and everything. Even if you don't like doctor who this is episode is great. It has my favourite quote:

"As you come into this world, something else is also born.

You begin your life, and it begins a journey towards you. It moves slowly, but it never stops.

Wherever you go, whatever path you take, it will follow me. Never faster, never slower, always coming.

You will run. It will walk.

You will rest. It will not

One day, you will linger in the same place too long. You will sit too still or sleep too deep, and when, too late, you raise to go, you will notice a second shadow next to yours. Your life will then be over."

★ S10E11 "World Enough And Time" (In this case I did like episode 12 but it wasn't good enough to make it into the list) This episode left me speechless, I really wasn't expecting this episode to be that good. Absolutely loved this episode, it was brilliant.

[rkchaeryeong]

MGA Season 5 ୨୧ Episode 6 ୨୧ Groups NCT - Whiplash Team Antidote With: @rkmason @rkyeji @rkkhg @ryujinrk

One of every group would be eliminated, no matter how well they did. The thought kept circling through Chaeryeong's mind and it worried her more than she'd ever admit to anyone, except maybe her aunt. At the same time, she was confident that they could do well and just as importantly that she could do well. Her nervous gaze followed the previous group off the stage and she got up automatically as her team was called.

The girl shut her eyes and took a deep breath as the three best trios started being announced. Would she—in an interview—say that she thought their group deserved this? Probably only indirectly. Did she honestly think they did? Yes. They'd done really well and it hadn't been a very easy song to perform either. They deserved it.

After the girl had been named one of the top 3 dancers, it was like a shark sniffing blood, like they told her she had a good chance of making it to the finale and getting a contract. Her ambitions were propelled through the roof and she couldn't let herself fall now. Making it into the semi-finale, she couldn't leave now, she couldn't give them a reason to kick her.

As they were named best of the round, her eyes opened and she smiled from ear to ear. Now, most would say in this situation that they couldn't believe it and wow they were so happy! Of course Chaeryeong was happy, but she could believe it. They'd worked so hard for it, they deserved it. Sure maybe that also applied to other groups, but she'd learned to take what she could get and she was proud. She would waltz home to her aunt and tell her her group made it in first! Sure, she pursued this dream for herself and no one else. There was no one she wanted to prove something to anymore. But she still liked talking about her achievements with those important to her. Best of all she was an adult now, which meant her parents couldn't hold her back and she didn't need to convince them of doing the right thing.

That was a point of concern though. Now they'd probably hear from someone from her little village, that she was on this show and that would result in a long exhausting call. Not that she really cared about these things right now, the giddy feeling of happiness and success bounced in her stomach, almost making her bounce as well.

Before she could really fathom everything and once eliminations were done, she paid full attention again, excited for what the next week would bring. Her eyebrows quirk up at the unexpected scene in front of them. The screen split, the floor got covered in dry ice and three figures started appearing. “Is that–”, she murmured and her jaw dropped a few centimetres as her suspicions were confirmed. They'd be getting the help of idols and trainees! Now that was unexpected.

The girl immediately straightened her back as the trc coaches were introduced and as the details of the next round were explained. Hope to be in the trc group started growing in her. She did think she fit the image pretty well and it was her dream company after all. While she didn't mind cute performances, she loved the charismatic stages and had looked forward to k.armas debut a lot.

Chaeryeong was super excited to have made it into the group and couldn't wait to get started. She wanted to show them that she did indeed fit the image of trc and that she wouldn't disappoint. The girl had always been disciplined, so it wouldn't be difficult to stay on track and put in more than just the effort needed.

She recognised everyone in her team and couldn't deny that she felt even more confident knowing who she would be performing with this week – except that she was worried of being overshadowed. While this team promised to do well, one of them would have to leave, whether they'd end up 1st or last place didn't matter. It was unfair, really and she thought, at least the first two places should be safe.

However she was very well aware that she could do nothing but be better than ever before.

Minho invited them to a restaurant and Hyunggu suggested a game to break the ice which she was immediately excited about. Everyone seemed nice, even though some felt a bit more quiet. But who knew, maybe they would warm up over the week. She was also excited about having the coaches there.

She immediately liked the three, but Jinsoul especially grew on her. She couldn't quite pinpoint why, but it was as though they simply clicked. She was glad that they had help from those who knew what they were doing. Being the last 25 contestants, there would be higher expectations for this week, she was sure.

At some point they had to settle on a song and think up a performance for it. There were so many different options, even if it had to fit to trc's style. But Chaeryeong felt like she'd done that for half of her performances already anyway. She didn't favour the company for no reason, after all. But the further they got into the thinking progress the more worried she became. They were strongly leaning to whiplash by NCT. Theoretically that was completely her style and promised an amazing performance, but in combination with the idea of solos towards the end, it reminded her a lot of her previous week's performance. She voiced her worries and they discussed it, after all everyone should be happy with the choices so they could perform their best (and so no one would be unhappy). They did consider a few other options, but whiplash seemed like the best choice – and she had to agree with that. Really, she thought it would make for a great performance, but what if she would be kicked for repetitiveness?

Well, groups usually had a set concept, so having her own style shouldn't hinder her, she felt. She was also glad that everyone took her worry seriously and eventually she was fast convinced that with their own choreo and rap parts, it would be a creative enough performance, completely different to the previous week. They also switched the solos for a “girl vs. guy dance battle”, making the only similarity to the previous week the original group. She was still worried whether that would endanger her survival to the next round, but everyone was very nice in encouraging her it would be fine and she felt excited again fast. She wasn't really one to dwell on negative thoughts for long, especially without anything serious happening.

One other factor in her regaining her confidence fast was the help of Jinsoul. The girl had gone to the other for advice—how could she stand out next to all of them? She felt like she had most charisma out of the group, right after Minho, so she should have a good chance of being noticed. But they were all strong contestants either way, there was no guarantee to be seen. So while Jinsoul wasn't a rapper she could still ask her for help with cameras and the like. While she's always put effort into that and researched a lot about it, some tips couldn't be found or explained quite like that over the internet.

What touched her most was when Jinsoul told her that she just needed to be herself, that that would be enough. She's often heard support in the form of “just work hard and you can do it”, but no one ever really told her she already was good enough. And also said that she was talented, hardworking and trc would be lucky to have her. It even brought her to tears, though, again, she'd never admit that to anyone else. She wasn't one to show weakness in worry of being run over, but that moment really got to her and gave back the confidence that usually came to her so naturally, that had kind of been missing at first. She even bought a cute little bracelet for the other to thank her for her help and support.

There was however, another worry that she didn't tell the team. The longer they worked on the performance, the more Chaeryeong couldn't shake the doubt about whether she was dreaming of the right company. Of course she'd always known that trc favoured creativity, but simply thought that not everyone in a group could have too much of it—too many ideas would bring chaos, right? Plus they also favoured charisma and rapping and that was something she could do. But now as they did the choreography themselves and decided to write the raps themselves, she felt useless. She'd choreographed a bit for herself before, but never on this scale. But that didn't even matter all too much. She was a rapper so she had to work on her own lyrics which is something she's really never done before, ever.

The only reason she agreed to the idea was a better chance to make it to the next round and her teammates agreeing to help her. Honestly she was so glad about who was in her team! With others she might've felt lost and would've panicked the whole week. They could've just decided on things by majority vote and helped her for the bare minimum to not look bad on camera and be safe by themselves. But she didn't get that feeling at all, she felt like they earnestly wanted to help her and that, most of all, was calming. It also made the team grow on her a lot and she was pretty calm while coming up with her own lyrics, with help of Ryujin and Minho.

Regaining her usual chipper self rather fast, she was completely immersed in the work the whole time. She was one of the first to arrive and one of the last to leave every day, researching how to write a rap whenever she couldn't get help from the others, or when she didn't want to bother them again. In the end she had to say it turned out really well, especially since she'd never done this before but of course also because of the help she'd gotten. She was very proud of herself.

The choreography was also great and super fun to dance. The more days passed, the more confident she felt and it was refreshing to be back to her old self after so much worrying. She really didn't like it, being sure of ones own skills was so much more fun. And insecurity was so exhausting, she preferred being her normal self.

They walked up to the stage and she was weirdly calm. She felt confident, her worries long forgotten and she was excited to once more show what she could do. She'd practised expressions again in the practise room's cameras, applying the advise she'd gotten from Jinsoul. The expressions were mainly of the more charismatic kind as practise for the performance.

She only had few lines during the first half of the song. It wasn't all that much of a bother to her—had she wanted more, she would've become a singer instead of a dancer that also raps. Her main passion was still dancing and this meant she could almost completely focus on it.

As always she was continuously aware of where her teammates were, never once forgetting they had to look like a unit, a team. Her moves were natural, like she'd always done this, was born to do this. Smooth where they needed to be, clear cut where they needed to be.

Having an audience there was a new experience, however. For her duration of the show, anyway, as she'd been to several dance contests before and was used to an audience. It was exhilarating really, only motivating her to do even better, no matter whether she was centre or all the way at the side, she'd always give only her best when she was on stage. Her expressions controlled throughout. Sometimes strong and charismatic, sometimes a lazy half-smile added to the mix when it fit or a wink.

Through the fun she had, the time seemed to fly by, as she flew over the stage, doing what may well be her favourite thing in the world. Her own rap fast approached and she was all excited to show the world what she'd come up with. She'd practised it so, so much, every word ingrained into her brain and she knew exactly how to present them. Had she been nervous, she might've forgotten something, but she was confident, proud to show what she had made and excited to start.

Her moves were flawless and her rapping skills had obviously gotten much better, even if they weren't on the level of someone who'd rapped for years and years. It made sense as she'd only started a couple months back, maybe a year. But all things considered, her progress was fast, driven by passion, ambition and the exclusion of accepting failure.

The next lines were a switching between her and Ryujin, before the other started with her own part and Chaeryeong focused back on dancing. Even if she might not have been quite as good as the other two rappers, no one could convince her that she didn't do really well.

They finally reached the guy versus girl dance battle part, which ended with her bringing both groups back together to finish as a team. She suppressed the urge of a finger heart during the end-pose and instead turned her head to look off into the distance in the most charismatic way she could, except that her eyes laid on the audience. Only once she broke the pose and walked off the stage, the girl made hearts towards the audience, still feeling the rush of excitement going through her arms and legs, even tingling up to her face.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Yay 200!!! Though my first instinct was awww only 200 want to ALWAYS see what this amazing person has going on! I'm so glad to be one of them. How are even your small prompts so hot! I love your work! Can I get a possessive or jealous Bruce/Jason? Or possessive AND jealous? I love the idea that Bruce hates Jason being away for any period of time because he hates other people looking at him and can't imagine someone not wanting him.

You guys are so sweet!

I don’t know, maybe it has been slow going for the followers thing but it feels fast you know? Especially since no one I know personally is on tumblr and only like three people in my life even know that I do this.

Anywho, sorry this took so long. For like five days I’d sit with the file open and write a couple sentences and then lose focus and motivation.

But it’s the longest one yet so… yay?

200 Followers Celebratory Prompt-A-Thon

(Prompts are closed. Thank you to everyone sent one in! I’ll be filling them the rest of the week for however long it takes to write the last few! And a big thank you to everyone who follows me!)

Jason/Bruce 

Words: 2635

Rating: Explicit (sounding, electroplay[?], restraints, sensory deprivation)

Super long. Read on AO3 if you’d rather.

Mine

This is not really Jason’s scene. The loud throbbing musicthat plays the same basic beat the wholenight, the lights, the dancing, the overpriced drinks. Roy was excited whentheir target chose this place but Jason had tried to wiggle out of going insideat all.

Unfortunately, he’s more the guy’s type than Roy and a lothangs on sabotaging this weapons shipment. So, Jason’s sitting in a badly lit,semi-private corner, flirting (badly) with this piece of scum, pretending to beunbothered by the big, sweaty hand creeping higher up his thigh. He downs his sixth$20 drink, a little surprised the guy hasn’t tried to drug him yet, and wondersvaguely how far he’s going to have to go. They have what they need but Jasondoesn’t think the guy’s the type to take no for an answer when he obviouslythinks he has it in the bag. And he doesn’t think a rejection and a brawl willmake the guy likely to keep up his end on the business side of things.

He’s just considering slipping a sedative into the asshole’sdrink himself when the man’s words suddenly slur and his eyelids start to getheavy until he finally slumps over.

Jason blinks at him for moment, trying to get the blurrededges of his vision to sharpen up a bit. He’s pretty tipsy now…

…did he slip the sedative into the drink? He remembersthinking about it but not actually doing it…

Jason gives the guy a poke, just to make sure.

Out like a light.

Well, then.

Now that the rest of his evening is free, and now that thearms dealer isn’t pawing at him, he thinks it might be a good idea to go takeadvantage of these lowered inhibitions with someone he wants to be with.

He doesn’t notice the sleazewith the dark sunglasses and 70’s porn-stache, chewing on match, watching himclosely as he gracefully stumbles from the club and into a cab.

Jason jumps comically when Bruce flips the light on. Likehe’s a teenager trying to sneak back into the house without his parentsnoticing. Or rather a lover trying to sneak into bed when their partner isasleep.

It’s a little dramatic. But he’s not happy.

“You smell like a toilet,” he snaps.

“‘mkay, first of all,” Jason slurs, just a little, notenough to be concerning, “I smell like a club.”

His jacket slides off his shoulders and his t-shirt slipsover his head, tousling his hair, in a single smooth motion. For a split-secondBruce thinks he may be playing up how much alcohol he had. Then he tumbles overtrying to kick off his boots.

“Second of all,” he continues a moment later, head poppingup over the foot of the bed, “’m too far away for you to smell me.”

Bruce scowls at him as he crawls up the bed, obviouslyhaving taken the opportunity to remove his slacks and briefs. It’s difficultnot to give in to those pouty lips and that lecherous smirk.

Soon, he tells himself, but on his terms.

Jason pulls the covers off of him with a grin and creeps uphis body, kissing his way up clothed thighs and naked chest, until he’snibbling at Bruce’s ear and sitting on his hips.

“And third, old man, you smell like a club too.”

He has Jason flipped onto his back, wrists caught in his unyieldinggrasp and pinned up by his ears, before the boy can even think about reacting.Bruce allows himself a small smile. Jason’s slower reflexes is going to be afun benefit.

“You let that filthy criminal put his hands all over you,”Bruce accuses with a dangerous edge.

Jason wriggles beneath him making what Bruce thinks is anhonest effort to get out of his grip. “’s the job, B. Don’ overrea—”

His glassy eyes narrow. “You drugged m’ contact?”

“You weren’t leaving yourself any options for an out thatdidn’t include a trashy sexual encounter in a grimy public bathroom,” hegrowls, pulling Jason’s arms up toward the cuffs, tucked carefully under thepillow.

“Would’ve been the alley,” Jason teases, smiling slyly,watching Bruce’s face as the he locks the younger man’s wrists in therestraints. Specially made at Jason’s request. The only thing that can openthem is Bruce’s fingerprint. No lock to pick. Too wide and too tailored to Jason’sexact measurements to be able to dislocate his thumb.

Bruce thumbs his nipple for the happy sigh that followsbefore pinching it between his fingers and twisting sharply.

“Ow—hey!”

“You know you’re mine,” Bruce hisses, “You know you’re notallowed to have anyone else, to let anyone else have you.”

He keeps torturing the one nipple, tugging and tweaking, buthe takes the other between his lips and sucks gently, flicking his tongue overthe already hardened bud, pulling back to blow cool air onto the spit-slickskin and watch it pebble, before returning.

Jason gasps and whines and bucks his hips up, searching forthe friction that Bruce denies him by pulling his lower body away.

“B, please—“ he breaths, already so needy, “Jus’ th’ job… you-youknow that…”

“And you know that doesn’t matter.”

Bruce had returned via batplane. He’d had plenty of time toprepare for Jason’s arrival before the cab had pulled into the drive.

He reaches under the pillow again and retrieves hispreviously selected tools, pausing on the way back to fix the sleep mask overJason’s eyes.

Jason whines again and thrashes around. “No games tonight, B,please? Jus’ wan’ you to fuck me,” he thrusts his hips again, lowers his voiceinto that husky, lustful baritone that Bruce has trouble resisting, “Hard.Rough… please.”

Bruce runs his thumb over the boy’s lip, slipping it justout of reach when Jason tries to take it into his mouth. Then leans forward andnibbles softly on his earlobe.

“So impatient,” Bruce mutters directly into Jason’s ear,letting his lips whisper across the shell and smiling when Jason shuddersbeneath him, “We’ll get there, don’t worry. I’m just going to take my time.”

“C’mon, Bruce, don’t—mmff!”

Jason’s lips look good stretched around the shiny metalring. Not as good as they do wrapped around Bruce’s cock but a close second. Hetaps a blunt nail on the helpless boy’s teeth, just for fun, then reaches backto his small pile.

“Now, if there’s something you honestly can’t handle, you’lltap your foot against me or knock the cuffs into the wall three times. Nod ifyou agree,” Bruce grins when Jason’s head bobs up and down emphatically. Heknows how much Jason loves these games, despite his prior objection.

“Tonight we’re doing something different. No pain, you handlepain so well you’ve turned it into an art,” Bruce rumbles low, nipping Jason’scollarbone lightly, “Tonight’s about pleasure. Your pleasure. As much as youcan take. And then more.”

He reaches up and fits the noise-cancelling headphones overJason’s ears, earning what he expects to be the first of many surprised littlegasps. Then he clips a nipple clamp to the one he’d been twisting, not tootight, just enough to pinch. That gets him a little moan.

Bruce softly traces the lines of Jason’s muscles, slowlytraveling down until he can ghost his fingers over Jason’s still mostly softbut quickly filling cock.

Lucky, Brucethinks, if he’d gotten too carried away he either wouldn’t be able to do thisnext part or he’d have to wait for Jason to calm down.

The longer he takes getting things together the harderJason’s body trembles at the lack of contact, in anticipation. His breath comesout faster, panting, often rounding out into full whimpers from the back of histhroat. Bruce watches him, captivated by the way the muscles move underbeautifully scarred skin, as he grasps the silicone handle firmly and slicksthe rod.

Jason inhales sharply and throws his head to the side whenBruce touches the bulbous end of the rose-bud sound to the slit at the head ofhis cock, but otherwise goes still so that he doesn’t get hurt.

Bruce slowly and deliberately pushes the little metal bulletinto him. He can’t tear his eyes away from the tiny muscle twitches as Jasontries to remain unmoving; as his control is tested the longer Bruce lingers.  It takes minutes for the rod to sink all theway to the hilt, Bruce purposefully holding it back, and even then, he’d havewaited longer. But Jason gets too hard too fast for Bruce to take the risk.

When the fat tip is nestled deep in Jason’s shaft, Brucesecures the attached glans ring just under the head. It’ll make the younger maneven more sensitive.

He smiles at the questioning noise Jason makes when hesticks a small adhesive pad to his perineum. Then, carefully so he doesn’t tipJason off, Bruce connects the wire coming out the pad to the slot at the end ofthe sound’s silicone handle.

Immediately Jason jolts and cries out in surprise andpleasure. With the power supply connected, the bulb deep inside Jason’s dick,as well as the area of sensitive skin beneath the pad, send out a strong electricalcurrant.

Bruce watches for several minutes as the pressure builds. Mesmerizedas the warm, throbbing, sensation tingles up Jason’s body which almostinstantly flushes vivid pink. He thrusts into the air, knees falling openwider, toes curling into the sheets, heels digging into the mattress, knucklesturning white from gripping the bar of the headboard his restraints are attachedto.

The noises coming out of his open, drooling, mouth aresinful and gorgeous and Bruce is positive that he could come just from watchingJason thrash, listening to him whimper and moan.

“Exquisite,” he praises, ghosting his fingertips over Jason’sflexing abdominal muscles, knowing he can’t hear him, “You don’t have any ideahow beautiful you are, do you?”

He lightly flicks the hot, red, head of Jason’s cock whichgets him a loud wanton groan and more needy presses of his hips.

Moving lower, Bruce finally slips two, still slick fingersinto Jason’s fluttering hole and immediately starts gently massage his prostate,rubbing soft little circles into the gland, stimulating it from the insidewhile the electricity coursing out from adhesive pad powering the sound stimulatesit from the outside.

There’s no uncertainty in Bruce’s mind that, if he couldhave come, Jason would have done so in moments. As it is, with his cock stuffedfull and pinched off he just wriggles with increasing desperation, moaning andgasping and sobbing so loud Bruce is positive Alfred and Damian will be able tohear him.

Bruce is content to watch. It’s not long before Jason isglistening with a sheen of sweat in the low lamplight, every muscle tensing andtwitching under beautiful scared skin, involuntary shudders wracking his bodyin inconsistent intervals.

Leaning forward, Bruce begins to press tender, suckingkisses to each of Jason’s scars, working his way up to the nipple clamp. Hedoesn’t let up, keeps the pace of his fingers buried in Jason’s tight, velvetpassage steady, the pressure firm but gentle, and adds a third digit.

As Jason inhales sharply and clenches down, Bruce bites downon the clamp and pulls it free from Jason’s chest, quickly returning to suck onthe angry nub. Then pulling back, he lets his breath chill the wet spot makingJason shiver and giving him goosebumps.

Then he moves up higher, starts kissing away the tearsstreaming down the younger man’s face at the onslaught of pleasure.

Jason leans into him, nuzzling his face then his hair whenBruce starts mouthing at his neck and shoulders, leaving behind little purpleblooms.

“-lease!” Jason pleadsas best he can without access to his lips.

He’s hysterical, sobbing and tossing his head side to side,grinding his hips into the bed only to move them up again, searching forfriction, saying the partial word over and over and over again.

Bruce just stares at him for a few more moments. This issuch a rare sight. His boy coming apart, a fully wrecked, debauched mess,overwhelmed with pleasure. Giving into something other than the pain. Losingcontrol to something better.

Finally, Bruce removes his fingers, is treated to a noisesomewhere between relief and regret, and touches the head of his own leakingerection to the eager hole. Then he reaches up and removes the noise cancelingheadphones with his free hand, followed by the sleep mask.

Jason’s lids are squeezed closed, thick lashes wet andclumped together. He doesn’t seem to notice the blinding fabric is gone untilBruce swipes his thumb over one of the lids.

They flutter open to reveal a clouded gaze over blazinggreen irises, only the barest hint of their original blue visible.

Jason’s expression clears a little as they lock eyes. Keepinghis clean hand cupped around the side of the boy’s face, Bruce slides into himwith a sigh and starts a lazy, deeppace.

Jason rolls his hips in time with Bruce’s unhurried thrusts.For once, he doesn’t doesn’t try to make Bruce go harder or faster or hold himdown, he just… he just takes.

It doesn’t take much time for Bruce to catch up. With hisdirty hand he slowly detaches the ring around Jason’s cock and pulls the soundout as his boy whimpers. With his other hand he unhooks the gag before pressinghis thumb to the fingerprint scanner and freeing Jason from the cuffs.

His boy is on him with all the speed you’d expect fromsomeone who spends his life dodging bullets. Jason’s big arms wrap aroundBruce’s shoulders, his ankles cross in the small of his back as Jason flingshimself up into Bruce’s space more fully.

“Bruce—“ hebreathes in prayer before their lips meet. The kiss is softer, deeper, thanBruce was expecting. It’s languid, full of adoration. Loving.

“My perfect boy,” Bruce rumbles, “Mine. No one else’s.”

“O-only yours,” Jason murmurs, barely able to form the words.

“Only mine,” Bruce hums, tightening his hold and punctuatingthe praise with a final thrust before emptying himself deep inside.

Jason follows right behind him, the feel of Bruce fillinghim up sending him over the edge. He comes hard.They both blink in tired surprise when warm, sticky liquid lands on Bruce’scheek.

Then Jason, still looking like a lust drunk dream, smiles,runs his fingers through Bruce’s hair, leans forward and licks his own come offBruce’s face.

Bruce watches him the whole way, enraptured. And beforeJason can swallow, Bruce captures his chin and brings their lips back together,sharing the taste.

Jason sags into him, boneless and exhausted. Bruce holds himfor a long while, petting his hair, rubbing at the knots in his back, hummingwords of admiration into his ear, until he falls asleep.

Bruce rests him back against the pillows, tucking him into thecovers, before making his way to the bathroom. He chugs a couple glasses ofwater and brings back another large glass for Jason in case he wakes up.

He crawls back into the bed, careful not to jostle themattress too much and turns off the light.

The moment he lies down Jason shifts closer, curling upagainst his side, head resting on Bruce’s arm, and sighing contentedly in hissleep.

Bruce plays with Jason’s hair as he tries to fall asleep,images of the younger man in the throws of ecstasy flashing behind his lids.

“All mine,” he says into the darkness, “Never giving youup.”