#so not really missed potential more of a.....would do over. just for funsies. if that makes sense

[sanstropfremir]

I'm curious. What concept SHINee has done that you find the most interesting, the most well done, and the one that had potential but missed at execution?

hm! potential but missed at execution is DEFINITELY dcm, there was SO much promise in those first set of fake reality promo photos that was pushed aside for appropriative 4th gen nonsense that was not at all necessary. i don't really know what happened with the creative team there and why they got cold conceptual feet, but i'm very sad that they never pushed thru for the full twin peaks-y fake suburbia theme.

most well done? tie between odd and 10f1. both of them were SO influential to the industry that we're still very visibly seeing the effects of them almost a decade later. personally i would put 1of1 slightly farther ahead of odd just because the styling for 1of1 is one of THE best stylings of all time in the history of kpop, and they damn well knew it. i love odd + view so so deeply but its legacy has been a .....worsening of stylings over the last eight years bc it made companies realize they could just put idols in normal clothes and stop investing so much in costuming.

most interesting? hands down tsol. it's so rare to see such a beautiful monument of grief and love so thoughtfully executed. i've talked at length before about the choreographies from this era and how incredible they are, but the cohesiveness of the full album and its aesthetics of nostalgia and examination of their legacy as a group and how they set an optimistic tone for the future is so so so fascinating. i rewatch the tsol mvs (good evening/i want you/countless, not our page bc it makes sob uncontrollably) more than any other shinee mvs because there's endless ways to unpack them and the inherent dichotomy of deep personal grief and having to pretend to be a veneer of yourself as your job adds such a compelling layer to them.

[lovestrucklyuniverse]

Remember that a good portion of my favorites is not on here. Bunny/Faybelle, Alistair/Maddie, Chase/Lizzie, etc., were omitted. It does surprise me how many ships I’ve come around to over the years, and even a lot of them that I’ve started to ship now, like Lizzie/Duchess or Cerise/Cedar. 

And just for funsies (plus I’m bored), I’ll go through each ranking and each individual ship in them. It’ll take a while, but let’s have some fun!

OTP Status

Daring/Rosabella

Hey, in my defense: I really liked their chemistry and the potential that these two are a big reason I love them so much. Plus, you can’t deny how great their kiss in the dream was. Also, their dynamic gives strong Mondler (Monica x Chandler) vibes, and I’m here for it!

Apple/Darling

My lesbians! While I always liked them, I’ve grown to love them more as I’ve gotten older. I love the red/blue of their color scheme; it’s always so pleasing to me personally. I do wish we could’ve gotten to see more of them. (Side note: Little Miss Perfect is perfect for them, and we love to see it)

Raven/Dexter

While my shipping heart doesn’t love them as much as I did when I was younger, I think they are lovely together. Their first date is so realistic, and their chemistry is so natural. Would have loved to see them finally be together after the Blue Moon Forest Fest arc.

It’s grown on me/I ship it

Briar/Ashlynn

“they were roommates” “*gasp* they were roommates!” I love the two of them together; it just feels so heartfelt. One of these days, I’ll do something for ‘em. 

Cupid/Blondie

Such a pure ship that quickly slipped under my radar as a kid, at least until this video. Their color schemes work together quite nicely. Would have loved to see more interactions between them that weren’t as subtle.

Lizzie/Duchess

I’m biased right now, as I recently got ‘Next Top Villain,’ and that,r friendship is adorable. She even saves Lizzie’s life! And the way Lizzie constantly ignores Daring for Duchess is just, ugh! They are goals! And it actually made me like Duchess, which I didn’t before.

Farrah/Ashlynn

My personal favorite Ashlynn ship. Farrah’s design is a bit weird, but I love how supportive they are of one another. Once their fairytale is over, I can see them coming together to be fashion co-designers. (Assuming Farrah doesn’t poof, that is)

Apple/Briar

I adore their friendship, but I can’t help but also see it in a romantic sense. They probably experimented with each other secretly to figure out their sexualities but never told anyone. They eventually drift away, but the Royal Trio (Apple, Briar, Ashlynn) has become one of my favorite EAH friend groups. 

Cedar/Cerise

They’re cute roommates, the only Cerise or Cedar ship I like. We stan a strong asexual couple!

Daring/Sparrow

They’re just so competitive, and it’s really amusing. Hunter/Sparrow is also one I like; I’m surprised it wasn’t on this.

Duchess/Justine

Rivals/Lovers. Duchess needed a challenger, and her girlfriend was that challenger!

Holly/Cedar

It’s kinda grown on me in the last couple of months, especially since their dolls are almost in the same doll line. Besides, they’re both artistic, so it’s pretty cute.

Hunter/Ashlynn 

I didn’t care/like them for the longest time. I always thought they sometimes tried too hard to make them the Cleo/Deuce of the show, and I didn’t care much for them either. But now? They’re such a sweet and healthy couple; I feel bad for being so hard on them for so long.

Raven/Cupid

Irony that they’re voiced by the same person, for one. I think they’d be cute for two, plus their aesthetics are so different that it just works. If this was the end result of the love triangle, it would give Korrasami vibes, and I’m here for it.

Kitty/Lizzie

They still aren’t my favorite, but their moments are cute, and I adore their close friendship. Clearly, the two of them understand each other better than anyone other of the Wonderlandians.

Apple/Maddie

Them being co-presidents is entertaining; when you really think about it, Apple, Maddie, and Raven become a trio in marketing. I don't know; there’s just something about their energy that’s super entertaining.

Justine/Ramona

Not much to say here; I just think it’s cute and what we see of them reminds me a bit of my beloved Bunnell.

Cute!!! Not my personal preference though

Ashlynn/Cupid 

A bit of a random one, if I’m being sincere. A friendship between them would be cute, as they’re two romantics. Also, Cupid being scared of the woods? GIRL, you were from the monster world!

Ginger/Darling

We just don’t see enough of the two of them for me to really ship it. It did make me think, “...Is Darling a lesbian?” however. It does suck that Ginger never actually finds out that the White Knight is Darling, as far as we know.

Dexter/Cupid

This is one of my friend’s favorite ships, which is fine. They’re cute, but Cupid being so Dexter-obsessed was really annoying. I really like their friendship, though.

Daring/Lizzie

The episode is cute, but I think they’re a bit overrated. It’s interesting, but how Kitty’s diary and Next Top Villain portray them has ruined the possibility of me shipping it again.

Ramona/Rosabella

This and Cerise/Rosabella are basically the same ships, so I don’t see it. Ramona isn’t a character I care much for, so that doesn’t help.

Cedar/Ginger

A bit random to me, but that’s just me.

Duchess/Poppy

Cute potential, especially since it’s confirmed in “Truth or Hair” that Duchess goes to Poppy to get her hair trimmed. Plus, I did ship it briefly after Fairest on Ice came out. Fanart of ‘em is cute.

Holly/Ginger

I love a good crack ship as much as anyone, but this is still very random. I love both characters, and I see them as a cute couple, but not really for me.

platonic besties

Apple & Ashlynn

True Hearts Day is one of my favorite specials, and everything between these two is precisely why. Their friendship is admirable and realistic. As I said with Briar/Apple, the Royal Trio is one of my favorite friend groups for good reasons.

Cedar & Raven

I love their friendship in the books. Raven, Maddie, and Cedar are the Rebel Trio there, essentially. They’re so supportive of each other, and I love that.

Apple & Daring

The ultimate lesbian/himbo friendship. That’s all I have to say.

Cerise & Daring

They’ve just never been my cup of tea. I’ve always seen them as a badass set of co-captains of the Bookball team. Daring inviting her to dance with him seemed like more of a thank you and a friendship forming rather than romantic. 

Daring & Hopper

They’re roommates, which is pretty cool. But I don’t really care much for Hopper, so eh. 

Darling & Chase

They argued more like siblings or competitive friends. I love rival dynamics, but I think they would better give each other tips on fighting. Basically, they and Darise have the same vibes.

Darling & Cerise

A duo we deserved to see more of! I can see them having fun in Grimmnastics but entrusting one another with their secrets. Plus, they just look great together. 

Dexter & Hopper

They were only in the intro together, so there is not much to say. But I can see them bonding over their crushes on Raven and Briar (later Ginger, in Hopper’s case).

Dexter & Humphrey 

A good pair of nerds, and I love their friendship in the books. They both rap, and that is just so funny to me!

Kitty & Duchess

Another unlikely friendship with Duchess and a Wonderlandian, but they both cause a lot of chaos (in their own ways). Plus, they have the whole thing of upholding the family expectations in common, which I wonder if anyone has ever thought of. 

Raven & Apple

Alright, the big one. I’ll start by saying that there’s no doubt in my mind that Apple absolutely had a crush on Raven, she’s far too touchy, and it’s very suspicious. Although, their friendship is great, with many difficulties between the two girls. They’re both right and wrong regarding the Royal/Rebel situation. (I needed to get that piece off my chest.) There are sometimes moments that I would say that they aren’t the healthiest friendship, but regardless I like them.

Raven & Maddie

Friendship goals!!! I adore them, even if I’m not a Raven fan. They’re incredible in the books, but cartoon them is great too. 

Sparrow & Poppy

They’re on here, but Holly/Daring isn’t? Interesting. Anyways, Sparrow and Poppy could be cute, but I love their friendship in Truth or Hair. They just get each other and it isn’t romantic in the slightest. 

Sparrow & Duchess

Same goes for these two, honestly. These two are partners in crime, definitely. But they’re not romantic. Plus he’s one of Duchess’ only friends, which makes their dynamic so great. 

Maddie & Kitty

A great chaotic friendship and I appreciate that Maddie is so encouraging when they’re facing off with Kitty’s mom. She was probably the least angry with Kitty in Spring Unsprung, at least as far as I could see. I love them.

Raven & Cerise

Easily one of my favorite friendships. Their connection is admirable and Cerise reveals herself to her village to protect Raven from getting drowned in the books! They’re such a good friendship and I’m glad it was added to the show.

Hunter & Hopper

Don’t care, but maybe it could be a good friendship. 

eh

Briar/Faybelle

Yes, I’m aware of how popular this ship has become. They’re both tied for being my third favorite character and I love them both very deeply. But eh, I have never gotten the appeal. They’re frenemies and I love that about them. Although, the look that Faybelle gives Briar in the dream is one of my best pieces of proof of her being a lesbian. 

Daring/Alistair

They’re both blonde himbos, not much else to say. 

Raven/Darling

Darling can do a lot better if I’m being perfectly blunt here. There’s a good friendship that could be interesting, but I just don’t see the appeal. 

Jillian/Humphrey

Nothing against this one, I just don’t care about them. Jillian’s design is so busy and ugly to me, and her voice is too annoying. Humphrey can do better.

Nina/Jillian

Adventuring girlfriends could be cute. They are roommates as well, but eh they both showed up too late for me to care. 

Ginger/Maddie

It would be cool if Ginger worked at the Tea Shoppe, I can’t deny that. Give Maddie some help! Good friendship potential, just a bit indifferent to it.

Melody/Cupid

More power to you if you ship it, but I do not. It’s a bit too random.

yeah i don’t think so

Bunny/Alistair

Easily the most annoying ship to me. Reading Bunny’s diary didn’t help with my perception either, it only made it worse. Bunny (or Harley, as I headcanon to what her name actually is) has one of the cutest designs in all of EAH and she reduced to being a love interest to a very annoying will they-won’t they. They have no chemistry, they’re focused on way too much, and they remind me so much of the situation with Adrien/Marinette. Just ask one another out already and put an end to my suffering, for Pete’s sake!!!

Briar/Hopper

I do think they look nice together, but Hopper really should have moved on. Briar only liked how he complimented her and came to her every aid, which makes one of my favorite characters come off as a very shallow person for that alone. The way it’s implied in Bunny’s diary that Briar likes him too just doesn’t fly with me, because she’s never shown any actual interest in him. Bunnistair and Bropper are probably the ships I dislike the most.

Crystal/Farrah

This is mostly my Crystal hatred talking. But they also look way too similar, which makes my head hurt.

Cerise/Kitty

I know it’s the dog/cat dynamic that drives people in. But Kitty purposely tried to expose Cerise’s secret, despite knowing what it could do to her and her family. This and Clawdeen/Toralei just do not fly with me.

Cerise/Maddie

They’re both too different that I just can’t see it working out. I do appreciate that her dad is the one that married her parents and Maddie does keep Cerise’s secret a secret, so they have that going for them. 

If any of y’all are interested in seeing me ramble on about my personal favorite ships (where a good majority are crack ships), ask me in my asks!

[chiveburger]

I don’t think people realize before adopting pets how big of a commitment and how potentially draining and heartbreaking it can be in the long run. It’s literally like having a kid minus birthing it out of your vagina... that might sound like an exaggeration but when my cat got diagnosed with diabetes and eventually became really sick and passed away that moment was probably the hardest, most excruciating and stressful moment of my life. I couldn’t leave the house without worrying about her and I would check on her through the security camera every day. I’d wake up in the middle of the night looking for her. I loved her so much and even though she lived a long life, till this day after she’s been gone for 5-6 months I still miss her and think about her all the time. pets leave a lasting impression on you and for someone who becomes hyperfixated on many things and can become very emotional I would still trade everything in this world for her to be back with me today. I never had a problem staying with my pets, taking care of them, spending money on them and worrying for them even if it meant losing out on vacations, time with friends, travelling like anything that had to do with leaving them for prolonged amount of times. In the back of my mind before I could do anything I had to think about them first because if not me then who was going to? yeah, ultimately there are people out there who have pets and are irresponsible and don’t care for worry about them to the extent that I do (which I think is too much), but if that’s the case then why bother? why bother bringing them into your life if you aren’t going to love them and be there for them and think about their feelings like... what’s the point? pets are just novelty to some people but they have never once been like that to me. I’ve loved all my cats unconditionally like I would get run over for them in a heartbeat and people have asked me if the reason I stayed in vancouver when I had the option of leaving was for my cats and I always say yes. I don’t regret it either like given a second chance I would still do everything I can for them. If more people could look into the future to realize that pets can take a big bite out your pay cheque, your time, your plans for years to come then I think people wouldn’t casually adopt animals for funsies... 

[sitabethel]

Fic tag game, and I was tagged by @rochelle-echidna, @isisishtar, and @ninjam117

1 - how many fics do you have on ao3?

Like any good Suikoden protagonist, I have 107 Stars of Destiny in my castle

2 - what’s your total word count?

2,445,507 (Daddy...Imma get that to 2.5 mill by the end of the year. Watch)

3 - what are your top fics by kudos?

The Lemonade Stand

Out From the Cold

King of Thieves

Safe

Talk Dirty to me

wtf, y’all. The puppyshippers are giving out more kudos than the thief stans. Shame. Shame. Talk Dirty To Me isn’t even a fic??? It’s an RP supersteff posted for funsies??? 

4 - do you respond to comments why or why not?

Most of the time (as long as I’m not overwhelmed with life). Responding to comments is how I’ve made most my friends in this fandom, so A++ would recommend. 

5 - what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Three Nights. My only fic w/a sad ending (which is why I wrote Three More Nights b/c I couldn’t handle having a sad ending. I had to fix it.)

6 - what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I honestly couldn’t say. I’m here to have a good time and to make sure all my favs also have a good time, so I’m always actively trying to give them the happiest possible endings. 

7 - do you write crossovers?

Nope.

8 - have you ever received hate for a fic?

I sure the hell have

9 - do you write smut? What kind.

ROTFLMFAO

10 - have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. It was kinda funny b/c out of all the fics, it was “Me” a 5k deathshipping one shot that is one of my least popular works. But like...I don’t really think they were *trying* to steal it so much as homage it? But they were too young and unskilled to know how to rework something properly, so it was almost an exact copy of my fic. I tried to go over it and show them how to rewrite parts in order for it to be more original (Like, you can give YM piercings, just don’t give him the exact same piercings. You can have YM play with his hair/clothes/presentation in order to explore his identity, but pick different things that are more unique and how *you* would imagine YM being as his own person, instead of just copying exactly what I did). 

11 - have you ever had a fic translated?

There’s an Italian version of Storm of White on ao3 (go kudo bomb it!)

12 - have you ever co written a fic before?

Lots! I love colabs <3 The last one I did was Conspire With You, but there was also A Way Home, and I’ve co-written a few things with SuperSteffy. Please support all the other writers who worked hard on these fics with me! (kudo-bomb the hell out of them)

13 - what’s your all time favorite ship?

*Cries in polyamory* 

I can’t...choose one. Thiefshipping and Deathshipping were my first favorites, but like...damn, Kingshipping and Trapshipping have honestly ruined me. And Arrestshipping...Euroshipping...Rustshipping...Boundshipping...LISTEN!!! If it’s any combination of Seto/Atem/Yugi/TKB-YB/Ryou B/YamiMa/Malik it’s my favorite, okay? I’m a dragon who hoards ships. Especially polyships. I will literally froth at the mouth at any combo of those 7. Now let’s move on to the next question before I add more characters to the list........

14 - what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

That demon/angel au I was working on years and years ago. A shame, since I think there was a lemon that spilled into 3 chapters in that and it’s what Bakura deserves, but the plot was just...meh. 

15/16 - writing strengths and weaknesses

Strengths: Dialogue, sometimes imagery, projecting the right trauma/personality traits on the right characters in a way that can make scenes relatable/authentic. 

Weaknesses: I can be lazy with some plot points b/c it’s fanfiction, and I’m only here to have a good time, so eff it. And I will absolutely “sum up” certain chapters in order to finish a story at 80% potential. Anons used to get on my ass about this, and some commenters too, but I refuse to repent of my hasty ways. I write a lot of stories, and sometimes it’s better to get 3 80% stories out instead of one 100% story (for me. absolutely nothing wrong with ppl who want to write their best all the time. Like, mad respect to those peeps). Anyway, the ppl who complain are 100% accurate, right, and valid, but again, If you call me out on this I’ll just shrug at you and remind you of my commission prices b/c I’ll be happy to personally tailor a story for any angry anon-- if they want to put their money where their critique is *blows kiss*

17 - what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Depends on the context and how it’s used. 

18 - what was your first fandom you wrote for?

FFVII, but I never posted any of it thank god

19- what’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I honestly love so many of my stories. I honestly re-read my own stuff all the time for comfort/self-care. I especially love a lot of the more intense, emotional pwp one-shots. It’s extremely difficult to pick one, but let’s go with humor and link 

Measuring Up 

Gotta love Bakura’s monster **** And the interaction involved with writing that story made it so much more fun. I really miss the days where you could slap a vote on tumblr and get a lot of responses, and dammit I miss Abby throwing random things into my ask box (like Bakura’s monster ****) 

Not going to tag anyone, since so many ppl are in the same little thiefshipping circle and I’d probably just accidentally tag a lot of ppl who have been tagged by others already. 

[walkingdaryls]

no sunburns

pairing: loki x female!reader

requested: nope!

summary: you and loki spend time together in tony’s beach house during the team’s vacation

—btw, i don’t usually like making giving reader a specific description (so it’s relatable to everyone) but for the sake of this storyline, she’s pale. i’m sorry if this is an inconvenience to anyone :( love u

(obviously: a bit AU. just for funsies...also why does it look like he’s saying “how much do u weigh” in the gif LMAO)

You could tell it was late into the morning by the way the bright sun shined on your face through the large windows. Usually, you’d groan and flip to the other side of the bed and try to dive back into sweet, sweet slumber. But you suddenly remember this wasn’t the Avengers Tower. For the past couple days you’d been on a blissful beach in Hawaii with the rest of the team. Tony was kind enough to offer all of you to stay in his huge beach house, on a completely private beach with a lively city just a ten minute drive away. When people said “paradise”, this is what they meant.

You eagerly stretched, letting a sigh of relief escape from your mouth. As you walked out of your room and into the main area of the house for some coffee, you were suddenly put off by the silence in the house. The only thing that could be heard were the waves crashing outside and birds chirping happily. The past couple mornings would be extremely loud and obnoxious due to the team all eagerly trying to eat breakfast, get their things together, and head to the beach bright and early. And it’d usually end with everyone yelling at Tony for being the last one to get dressed.

“Um, last time I checked: my house. I may get dressed whenever I damn please,” he’d said one day.

The day before, Bucky had accidentally snapped one of the paddle boards in half, causing ruckus throughout the house. That’s what woke you up at 7am.

That was your only issue about this vacation: waking up early. You were known as the “sleepyhead” on the team...always staying up too late and waking up before lunch (on the days you could, obviously). It was planned for everyone to be on the beach early in the morning so the rest of the day could be for having a nice barbecue on the back porch, visiting the town, and then going out at night. If it weren’t for Nat coming to wake you up right after she did, you’d be the last one out the door every morning. Except for today.

You glanced at the vintage clock on the wall.

10:50 am. Your eyebrows furrowed. Was everyone sleeping in today? You didn’t remember Nat coming to wake you up or anything. Weird. You brushed it off, continuing to make your coffee.

“Well, look who finally decided to wake up,” a voice sounded from the living room. You jumped, sighing of relief once you saw the familiar face standing meters away.

Loki wore his usual slight smirk on his face. He was wearing an oversized, dark green button-up shirt with black beach shorts underneath. It was so quite amusing to see Loki dressed in anything other than his usual black suit or his green uniform. Thor practically dragged him on this trip, so the past few days he just wore a sour expression on his face.

“Yep...” You sighed, not knowing exactly how to have a conversation with the man, “Want some coffee?”

“No, thank you. Already had some hours ago. You know, when everyone else woke up.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Wait, where is everyone else? Nat didn’t wake me up.”

Loki walked closer to the kitchen, his hands behind his back all mannerly, “She tried. Twice. You wouldn’t budge. Steve thought it’d be fair to just let you get your sleep for one night.”

“Oh...” You sipped your coffee, “So they all left already?”

“Yes. Probably will not come back for another few hours,” He said simply. You felt quite upset knowing you were missing out, but at the same, a full night’s sleep was nice. Besides, you still had nearly two weeks left of vacation.

“You didn’t want to go with them?” During the three days in Hawaii so far, Loki only joined you and the team twice. One time at the beach, which he only lasted twenty minutes before going back inside to read a book. And the second time, when you all went shopping at a flea market nearby. He joined your meals at the house, obviously, but he didn’t really go out. It upset you. Others might’ve still hated his guts, but you didn’t, and he deserved to enjoy the time off.

“No.”

“Loki, I know you don’t wanna be here, but at least use the free time to your advantage. Once the two weeks are over, it’ll be back to work. Who knows when we’ll get another long vacation, right?”

“You mortals are so obsessed with this so-called vacation. You do realize you could enjoy ‘free time’ whenever you please, right?” He stared at you intensely, and you didn’t like it one bit.

“That’s not really how it works,” You breathed out, “Vacations like this: where I have absolutely zero worries...extremely rare. I’m putting it to good use.”

He chuckled sarcastically, “By sleeping away half of the day?”

You stood there with your eyes narrowed, wanting to slap his amused grin off his face. You and Loki never personally had any issues with each other, but he did get on your goddamn nerves sometimes. It was always sarcastic remarks when sitting across each other from the dinner table. Or smirks from across the gym during training. You’d consider each other friends....but, really odd friends.

“Just for today,” You spit back, “And FYI, I’ll be putting the rest of my day to good use. Until the others get back.”

“How so?”

You gestured to the large glass windows showing off the gorgeous beach just meters away. Loki raised his eyebrows in amusement, humming a quick “ah”.

“You wanna come, too?” You said without even thinking it.

For just a flash of a second, the look in his eyes became just a bit softer. He truly was not used to the feeling of being wanted or included in something. But you barely even noticed before his usual demeanor returned.

“I hate the beach.”

You shrugged, “I hated it too, actually. For a longgg time. But Nat slowly started dragging me out during vacations. To pools, too. I eventually started enjoying it. I just hate how badly I burn.”

“Burn?”

“Yes,” You absentmindedly pulled down your soft t-shirt down off your shoulder, exposing the cherry-red burns covering your skin, “See?”

Loki slowly stepped forwards, almost mesmerized. He was practically towering over you. This made you gulp, suddenly extremely aware of how close he was to you. You could feel the coldness of his skin radiating off of him, even without touch. His hand was slightly raised, as if he wanted to lightly touch your shoulder, but he refrained. You secretly wanted his icy hands to add that relief to your burns, but you kept silent as well.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, stepping back once again. You responded quickly, covering your shoulder once again.

“Yes, to be honest. But I’ve grown used to it. One of the downsides of being pale.”

“But I don’t burn. And I’ve been told I look like a ghost?”

You snorted, remembering Clint’s comment at the dinner table one night.

“Well, you’re a God, remember? I think mortals have different rules with that kinda stuff.”

Loki nodded, “How boring.”

You sighed, “Tell me about it.”

The room fell silent, so you awkwardly sipped your coffee once more before speaking up.

“I’m going to go put on my swimsuit. So...no beach for you?” You sort of wanted some company, if you were being honest.

Loki shook his head, “I’ll just go back to my book.”

“Alright then,” you nodded before scurrying back to your room and finishing your coffee.

You let out a large breath once you shut the door in your room. You didn’t know what it was exactly, but Loki always made you nervous. And it wasn’t in a bad way, more of an...intimidating way. It didn’t help that he was obviously handsome, too.

Tying up your bikini, you carefully observed yourself in the mirror. You looked great. The green, leather bikini had been a gift from Wanda a few months back. You had yet to use it, so why not? You winced at your burns on your shoulders once more before heading out the door with your sunscreen and towel in your hands. And of course, your signature cat-eye sunglasses on your face.

Making your way through the living room, you suddenly became extremely aware of Loki’s presence on the couch, and his gaze following you. But you didn’t dare look back. It was a rush of relief once you passed the glass doors and set aside your things.

The day was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was shining, but nothing too strong. There was a gentle breeze, and you felt blissful. You even danced around by yourself to the speaker playing next to you, partially forgetting about Loki sitting just meters away inside.

You prepared to skip over into the clear waters when you remembered. Sunscreen, ugh. You could just see the look of disappointment on Steve’s face if he found out you forgot sunscreen and only made your burns worse. The entire team had been in shock upon seeing how badly you burned in just a couple days, but Steve was the most worried. Always, constantly reminding you to put sunscreen. Especially on your back...since that spot was easily missed.

So there you stood, with music blasting on the beach, rubbing the cream all around your body. You made sure you wouldn’t miss an inch of your body. You were sick of the burns, of the itching, of the potential peeling. You made sure to double up on the sunscreen when you got to your shoulders. And your cheeks on your face...you got easily red there too.

But when it got to your back, you looked like an idiot trying to reach back there. Usually you’d have Nat or Wanda to help you right away, but you were alone.

Well, almost alone.

You didn’t dare look back inside, scared of seeing Loki watch you struggle. The temptation to ask him for help was extreme, but it was too embarrassing. You thought about maybe just hoping for the best and getting in the beach like this, but it was too risky. No more sunburns.

You tried to reach your back once more time before you realized it was an impossible task. So, very hesitantly, you turned to look inside the house. And just as you expected, Loki’s eyes were on you. His book had been thrown aside, and he was leaning over to get a good look at you. He held his usual smirk, obviously enjoying watching you struggle.

“A little help, please?” You called out. You felt so childish. But to be honest, you were a bit surprised when Loki got up with no protesting. Just an amused eye roll.

Your leg bounced a bit in anticipation as the raven-haired God made his way down the couple steps and over to you.

“Yes?” He asked. You knew he was teasing, and you hated it.

Your eyes narrowed, “I can’t reach my back. Could- Could you please?” He eyed the bottle you held out to him.

He inhaled sharply, “I guess so.” His cold hands grabbed the sunscreen from yours. But you didn’t flinch when you felt his icy fingers brush past yours.

You turned around, facing the beach and away from him. The snap of the opened cap could be heard. He squeezed the sunscreen into his hands before rubbing them together a few times, and gently placing them on your back.

The feeling of cool skin on your burnt back was pure bliss. You didn’t give him any reaction, but your eyes did close with pure relief. His hands were hesitant, but he began rubbing the cream around your back.

“Your hands are cold. It’s nice,” You say first. His hands stop for a split second before returning to their job.

He noticed you never flinched, “They don’t bother you?” His voice was soft.

“No, I’ve always liked the cold.”

It was that sentence- the simplest comment - that had Loki almost freezing in his spot. But he remained calm. And surprisingly, so did you.

Oh fuck, did I just accidentally flirt with the God of Mischief? You wanted to cower away. You silently thanked the skies for not facing him in that very moment.

“Oh?” Was all he said. His hand movements had slowed just a bit.

You blurted out, “Actually...god this is really weird, but could you just- could you place your hands on my shoulders? Like, just leave them there? Cold compress helps burns.” And now you were extremely thankful you couldn’t see his face.

“Okay.”

You couldn’t help but exhale loudly upon the feeling of his coolness on your skin. It was just what you needed. You two stood in silence for just a few seconds longer before you gently tapped his hands, signaling it was enough. You finally turned to face him.

“Thank you,” You smiled shyly.

“Do the burns feel better?” His face remained neutral.

You nodded, “Much better.”

He gazed at you for a few seconds before snapping out of it.

“Well,” You spike up, “I’m gonna get in now.”

“Right,” He nodded. You nodded back, not sure on what to say. As you turned around to the beach, you suddenly stopped in your tracks. You didn’t want to leave the conversation off like that.

“Loki, can you please just get in?”

His amused expression returned, “Pardon?”

“I- I don’t like getting in the water by myself. The beach is fun with other people. Otherwise I’m just the idiot floating around like a fish.”

“A fish?” He snorted. You chuckled, digging your toes in the sand nervously. He caught that. He could sense your nervousness, which only softened him more.

How could he say no? You were the only person who’d ever offered him something so genuine.

He rolled his eyes, “Well, fine. Only because everyone else is gone.”

You smiled brightly, “Yay! Come on.” You jogged towards the shore without a second thought. The smile only grew once you were ankle deep in the cool waters. You turned around, finding Loki in the same spot as before, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. You couldn’t help but stare...He was so focused on his buttons, so it wouldn’t hurt, right?

Clint had been right. Loki was truly pale. Very pale. Even more than you. Yet his chest still glowed like the God he was. His skin was as soft as ever. You wondered for a second what it’d be like to run your hands-

“You mortals do love to stare a lot,” Loki said, making his way towards you. You simply smirked, looking away to mask the redness growing on your cheeks.

He hesitated once his feet reached the water. But you stood there, already knee deep, watching him patiently.

“It’s so therapeutic, I promise. Come on,” You beckoned him over. His face seemed so confused, you almost laughed.

Slowly yet surely, he finally stood right next to you. You looked up to him, eyes scrunched from your smile and the sun in your eyes. He stared you down, but he wasn’t holding the intense glare anymore. It was definitely much more peaceful. He was pretty like this.

“See?” You smiled wider, splashing him lightly.

He stood completely still for a hot second, before suddenly splashing you with as much water his strength could muster.

You gasped, “LOKI!” And you found yourself splashing him back.

And he splashed you again.

You screamed, going deeper into the water. He followed you, continuing his splashing. You tried to splash back, but it got to the point where you were so deep into the water, you had to focus on keeping yourself afloat rather than splashing Loki.

“Oh, fuck, I don’t reach here anymore. Time out, time out!” You barked a laugh, struggling with floating due to so much movement.

Loki’s genuine laughter was music to your ears. You’d never heard him release such a noise before.

His splashing stopped as he made his way over to you and gently scooped you up with one arm. It took you completely by surprise. You watched the God with wide, curious eyes.

Once balanced against him, and no longer struggling with floating, you splashed him once more, completely drenching his hair this time. He shut his eyes, promptly letting go of you in order to wipe his eyes.

You laughed loudly, swimming away closer to shore.

“You think you’re so clever,” Loki called out, hot on your tail. Your heartbeat accelerated as you felt him get closer to you.

You weren’t able to reach the shore before you felt Loki’s hand grab your foot and drag you back. You screamed, not able to contain the giggles pouring out of you.

Loki watched you with a smile on his face as you laughed with your eyes closed. You held your hands up to your face.

“Please don’t splash me, I’m begging you,” you yelled. You tried to get away, but he was quick.

His hands gripped your waist, pulling you in once again.

“Last time I checked, you splashed me first,” Loki said, his voice deep. Your faces were so close. So close. And with your wet bodies practically pressed against each other, the tension was suddenly thick.

You slowly came down from your fit of laughter, drawing back into reality: which was Loki’s face eerily close to yours. You sighed softly, making eye contact with his blue ones. You couldn’t read the look on his face, but his gaze was so intense once again, you had to hold your breath.

His fingers brushed your waist ever so slightly, and you reacted without thinking.

You leaned forward, meeting your lips with his. It was a quick peck, before you pulled back in shock.

Your cheeks were tomato red, and it wasn’t because of the sun anymore.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-“ But your voice trailed off, because Loki’s other hand reached up to touch your face softly.

“L-Loki?” You whispered, your faces close once again.

“Don’t apologize, darling,” Loki said, before meeting you in a second kiss.

His lips against yours, his soft hand on your waist, your hand in his dark locks: it was almost too blissful.

You changed your mind: this was paradise.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” The familiar voice of Tony Stark sounded from the shore.

You helped, breaking apart from Loki, just to see your entire team watching you with their jaws on the floor.

“Oh,” Loki smirked, “Back so early?”

—

[sandalaris]

001 Umbrella Academy and 003 Seth Gecko and 004 Buffyverse/Teen Wolf

Thanks @yossariandawn for sending this!

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Diego 💕 but Five is a close second.

Least Favorite character: Reginald! The only good thing I can say about him is that he brought the Hargreeves together. Oh, and I guess he did give Vanya her first violin. Still an awful guy though.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Not sure I have a full five, but in no particular order: Lila/Five, Diego/Vanya, Agnes/Hazel, Luther/Alison, and Five/Vanya

Character I find most attractive: Probably Ben, but Alison is a gorgeous close second.

Character I would marry: Maybe Diego? Possibly Klaus after season two if he could stay sober.

Character I would be best friends with: Probably Alison. I feel like she and I would get along well in that regard.

a random thought: I hope there’s not an apocalypse next season, and I hope the next time they do an apocalypse, it’s not because Vanya loses control of her powers but rather some other siblings who sets it off.

An unpopular opinion: Luther was just as messed up as the rest of his siblings by Reginald and deserves the same amount of understanding/forgiveness for his mistakes.

my canon OTP: Luther/Alison are such a cute couple

Non-canon OTP: Lila/Five came out of nowhere and grabbed my attention in both hands and demanded I pay it the respect it deserves :P

most badass character: Five

pairing I am not a fan of: I can’t really get behind Ben/Klaus. Most of the other ships I’m at least neutral on, but that one just isn’t for me.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I can’t say that they screwed her up yet, but if they magically bring the Handler back next season I think that’d be a major screw up on the writers back. Once I get, and I love the character, but they can’t keep killing her off and then bringing her back without the whole thing losing the impact it had the first time. (Now if they find a way to have her past self pop in now and again to make things sticky, I could be down for that, but I don’t want her back as a main antagonist again.)

favourite friendship: Ben and Klaus... which also might be why I don’t ship them romantically. They’re too much of a brOTP for me.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: all the little Hargreeves! :( And maybe Lila too, let them have more normal childhoods.

I did the Seth one last because it ended on a bunch of gifs

004 | send me 2 fandoms and I will give yo my crossover OTP

BtVS and TW aired at two such different times that I don’t think I’ve ever thought about crossover potential between them.

And since I couldn’t seem to think of an OTP, I went with three potential dynamics I wouldn’t mind exploring XD

Is it odd that I think there’s potential between Willow and Peter? There’d have to either be some history there, maybe they bonded in early school years. Or else Peter manipulated and pushed Willow, either because he saw her as an easy target or because he sensed the magic potential in her and was poking at it, to the point she snapped back. Once its established that there’s some hefty bite behind the fuzzy sweaters and nervous babble, he’d get curious. And curiosity would eventually lead to some kind of relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Peter would become weirdly protective over her, but not in a physical sense so much as a he speaks to her in a way that isn’t designed to provoke, and will glare/threaten those who he feels isn’t giving her the care she deserves.

I think I could also at least mildly ship Scott/Dawn for some reason. I don’t know why, but I feel like his puppiness and her sort of optimistic awkwardness could click. Plus he’d take the whole “I was a glowy blob of energy for most of my life” thing in stride. 

Oz, being BtVS’ primary werewolf, would have been great as a Just Passing Through wolf who runs into the Hale pack circa Derek’s keeps-turning-high school-students phase and who ends up sticking around for a bit. He’s not an official pack member, he likes his lone wolf status just fine, but he’s discovered quite a bit of harmonizing with his inner wolf and ways of controlling a shift that he ends up becoming kind of a much needed mentor. He also has a plethora of much needed supernatural knowledge and unlike Deaton, he’s willing to share.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you Seth Gecko

How I feel about this character: Sarcastic, grumpy asshole with selective morals! *heart eyes*

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Kate... that’s it, the whole list. No seriously, all the ship questions below have the exact same answer... Kate...

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Gecko Brothers are brOTP to the max. They are ride or die for each other and I love that they are such a package deal.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Not sure I have an unpopular opinion on him specifically. At least not one that I haven’t mentioned before, lol.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:  Whoops, almost missed this one. The show did a pretty good job at showing Seth’s journey, I’m not sure there’s anything I would change per say, but maybe getting to see a bit more of what was happening during the time between seasons. The Mexican Honeymoon and the Seth and Richie integrating into the culebra world, that sort of thing.

my het ship: SethKate 100%

my fem/slash ship: I really only ship him with Kate... so maybe Kade, the stubborn preacher’s son trying to hold his family together after the death of his mama when they’re family vacation gets hijacked by a couple bankrobbers trying to flee to Mexico.... and I actually remember seeing I think it was a gif set, but it might have just been some pics, of someone’s idea of a genderswapped Kate Fuller and now I’m trying to figure out the actor they used...

I’m kind of picturing this guy (only with a dye job and maybe some green contacts), but he’s got a more masculine version of Madison’s jaw and his nose, while not perfect (she’s got a pretty unique nose) is long and slender like hers, and his eyes have that sort of slight downward angle.

I found one other guy that might work, his mouth was spot on and his eyes were practically perfect, but his nose is all wrong, his look much edgier (although that could be easily changed), and his jaw/chin wasn’t quite right. He’s here if you‘re curious. :)

my OTP: SethKate... yeah, I’m pretty predictable :P

my OT3: I’ve at least enjoyed the occassional Seth/Kate/Richie fic, so that’d probably be the closet I have to an OT3 for Seth

my cross over ship: er... I’m not sure I’d put Seth with anyone else. Maybe for funsies I’d play with the idea of movie!Seth/show!Kate and/or show!Seth/movie!Kate, but that’d be as far into crossover territory I’d take him romantically.

my kink: I don’t know that I have a go-to one, but that little one sentence prompt where Seth tries to seduce Ms. Fuller? I really want to explore more of that. So student/teacher?

a head cannon fact: Seth, for all his rebellion and bluster and rudeness, doesn’t know it but he wants the approval of those he sees as father figures, to himself and others. With guys like Uncle Eddie it comes out as trying to please them, charm them, make them like him and find him worthy of their approval and praise. For others, like Jacob Fuller, who he thinks will never accept him, will always find see him as beneath him, he goes of his way to try and prove that he doesn’t want or need their acceptance, shoving it in their face at every turn.

my gender bend: Michelle Rodriguez is the first person I thought of. I wish I could find more pics of her in Seth approved outfits, but you’ll have to make due with what I did find :P

Now I’m picturing female!Seth and male!Kate (who will forever be Kade in my mind) during their Mexican Honeymoon and that tearful good-bye at the gate.

[purplesurveys]

868

Favorite beverage: Just your good ol’ cold water. If I wanna treat myself I’ll get milk tea. When was the last time you had ketchup? Ooh I don’t remember...it would probably be 3-4 weeks ago. Or whenever the last time we had lumpia was, because I like drowning that shit in ketchup. Have you ever had a red hotdog? Yeah frozen hotdogs is a favorite snack here and they’re usually red. We usually have them for breakfast, it’s served in parties, it’s in every school caf, etc. What is the most recent gift you've been given? So my uncle has his budding cooking business and sells different dishes everyday. His most recent bestseller is burnt basque cheesecake and while I’ve always wanted my own because it looks SO good, I just haven’t had the money to allot for it. I was really surprised when my grandma called me up today and told me she had ordered an entire cake for me as a graduation gift :) I asked my dad to pick it up from her place this afternoon and it’s crazy delicious.

Is what you're wearing comfortable? Yeup, now that it’s cooler. I sweated through my top when it was hot earlier though, and that wasn’t a comfortable situation at. all.

Did you leave the house today? Nah. I did step out to help my dad with the groceries, but that was it for today’s adventure. Are there bumper stickers on your car? No. If I wanna put stickers on my car I would rather have them on my rear window, and not directly on my car. Are you watching tv right now? What? The dining room TV is turned on but I’m not watching; my dad likes to have it on to listen to the evening news while he cooks dinner. Are you wearing anything blue? Nope, it’s all black for me today. Do you have a job? Not yet. Is your car messy? No. There’s really no reason for it to be, I’ve only driven out once since March. When did you last have whipped cream? I...can’t recall, actually. We don’t have whipped cream at home and I don’t think I ever ordered anything with whipped cream on it shortly before lockdown. How far away is the closest house? 10-20 steps away, depending on how big your stride is. What street do you live on? I’m not dropping that on here. The most I’ll tell you is that our streets are named after tropical cities, haha.

What is your favorite flavor of smoothie? Used to not like smoothies 100% because of the presence of fruits in them, but thanks to my friends Apple and Ed introducing me to Go Salads I’ve come to really like their Breakfast Smoothie – which, after looking up their menu just now, has apple, banana, cinnamon, oats, coco sugar, chia seeds, greens, and soy milk. Are you dating anyone? Yes ma’am. What color is you computer? Silver. Do you own an iPod? What color is it? Technically I still do but only because I haven’t thrown it out. It’s a blue iPod Nano. What is the most recent picture on your phone/camera of: A photo of the aforementioned burnt basque cheesecake. I was planning to post a Facebook status to promote my tito’s business and show my support, so I asked my sister to take a few aesthetic shots of the cake for my post to look presentable. Have you ever shot a gun? No. I’ve shot a fake one that belonged to Athenna’s dad, which he used for like target practice or something. What temperature is it? 31C.

Do you know anyone with a third nipple? No but Harry Styles has four, HAHAHA. There’s your random fact for the day. What do your parents do for a living? My dad’s an executive sous chef and my mom’s a secretary in her specific department in the hotel she works in. Both have always been in the hotel and restaurant industry. Have you ever had a pet that had babies? No. We’ve avoided female dogs because we know we’re not capable of caring for newborn puppies, so instead of potentially being reckless owners we’ve just not had female pets altogether. Which grocery store is closest to you? A local mall chain that has their own grocery, SM. Do you have a hamper in your room? Nah, my parents prefer a general hamper in the bathroom. Do you know anyone that's a nurse? Yes, I have several aunts and as far as I know, one cousin :) I feel really bad for them especially in these times, but they’re such strong people and they just keep powering through and powering through. Do you know someone with the name Alaina? Not that I can recall. What color is the blanket on your bed? Off-white. What are your parent's middle names? No thank you. Have you ever broken a bone? Never. Do you wear braces or glasses? I wore braces in high school, and I’ve had glasses since Grade 5. What color are they? I picked a different color for my braces for every monthly visit cause it made me feel quirkly; my glasses’ frame is dark brown. Are you currently reading a book? Not currently, no. When did you last get your blood drawn? Ughhhhh, cringed reading this haha. Last May when I needed to get a blood test done. Have you ever done hard drugs? Nopes. How many contacts are in your phone? I just know I have a lot, but Apple doesn’t tell you exactly how many and I don’t feel like counting all of them right now. Does your toilet have a seat cover? It has a lid cover, but not a seat cover. What's currently on your grocery list? My dad did the groceries today so we’re pretty stocked rn. What things do you take with you everywhere? My glasses, car and house keys, phone, wallet. Do you know someone that is/was over 100 years old? Gab’s great-grandma was like 106 or 107 by the time she passed. Was your HS principal a girl or a boy? Girl. I went to an all-girls school so it would honestly be a little peculiar if we had a male principal. Have you ever eaten a raw egg? Nah. I wanna try it out though, just for funsies. Do you own any rings? Gab got me this cheap ring for the shits and giggles, but I stopped wearing it when it started turning pink and smelling weird. So no.

If you were to get a new puppy what would you name her? We did get a new puppy! ;) But should we get another, the name will depend on the puppy’s attitude and overall vibe. That’s what we did with Cooper, who was named after Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory because he had been a smartass from the very first minute we played with him. Have you eaten fruit today? No. What about milk? Even more nope haha. I can’t have it all the time. What letter does your state start with? We don’t have states. My province starts with the letter R. Could you list all 50 states? I’ve listed them down on countlesssssss occasions but I always only come up with 35-45 states. I’ve observed that the ones I always forget about are the states in the middle of the map/country-ish states hahaha. What about their capitals? I know a good number of the states’ capitals, but I’ll still undoubtedly do worse. What internet browser do you use? I’ve been on Chrome for the longest time. Do you know anyone that lives in Wyoming? I don’t think so. Do you smoke cigarettes? Yes, starting this year lol. Which person you know has the most unique name? I’m sure I know more unique ones out there but the first names that came to mind are friends of mine named Bernadean, Jeuel (pronounced Jay-well), and Jabes. Oh and I also have an aunt named Marheedoll. Do you know someone that's missing a limb? I don’t think so, no. Do you have facial hair? I do not. Are you a bad person? Not when it comes down to it. I have my petty moments though. What was the last swear you said? I almost yelled the word puta in front of my dad earlier, but I slurred the word and made random noises to avoid saying the full thing haha so it kinda went like puuuuutehshahjskhf. Have you ever called the police on someone? No. What is the most amount of pets you've had at one time? Three – one dog and two birds. When did you last check your email? Last night. I wanted to check if I received any email from the college. Have you ever had a 3rd degree burn? Nope and that sounds so painful, I never want to sustain one. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? I haven’t. How long is your hair? Right now it reaches only my collarbones. I had it cut fairly recently, so it’s still on the shorter side. Do you lock your doors at night? The doors on the first floor. Does your bedroom have a lock? It does but my mom is such a big sissy about locks and says that “there’s nothing to hide/be private about” since we’re all relatives. She really shouldn’t have gotten a lock for my room if I wasn’t allowed to use it anyway... What do you have at your bedside? I have a rattan trunk that stores all my childhood knickknacks like board games and encyclopedias; then on the other side is a drawer with my home clothes and other knickknacks on the lower drawers. I got some hoarding tendencies from my grandma, so a lot of the stuff I keep in the drawer really has no reason behind my keeping them until today. How big is your bed? Not big at all, it’s just twin-sized. I am so investing on a big-ass bed when I have my own place. Do you know someone that was murdered? I didn’t know her personally but an alumna from my old school got stabbed to death. I don’t know the details but I think she got stabbed because she had gadgets on her, which makes you an easy target for criminals here. The only reason I know her is because my school would do tributes for her from time to time, so I really can’t tell you anything more other than she was stabbed. Do you know someone who's pregnant? I don’t think so. Do you wear a watch? Used to, but I kept losing them. What was your first pet? A pair of goldfish. How much jewelry do you own? Not a lot. The ones I do wear are technically my mom’s too; she just likes sharing them with me. What is the closest purple thing? Probably the ube halaya in the fridge. Green? A piece of Cooper’s toy. What time is it? It isssss 8:43 PM. What is your ideal profession? Lawyer. How tall are you? A little over 5 feet. Have you ever gotten x-rays? Probably once when I was a kid, then around two or three times before I started college. Do you wear gloves in the winter? I imagine I would but we don’t get winter. Do you consider yourself smart? Academic-wise, yep. I’m good at tests and memorizing and I generally enjoy reading educational content. Are you good at algebra? Yeah but I wanna keep it at algebra and geometry lol, I don’t have the patience for calculus and trig. What color eyes are the prettiest? I’ve always loved green/olive green eyes. Are your teeth straight? One of my front teeth protrudes a bit, but that’s all my fault because I lost my retainers back when I still had to use them. My teeth are otherwise fine. Do you like chocolate milk? LOVE IT Do you own a bike? We own a family bike and I’m free to use it, I just don’t because I don’t know how lmao Are you taller than your mom? No. I thought I’d grow taller than her because I had an intense growth spurt at one point, but it never happened. Have you ever been engaged? No. What, in your opinion, is the ugliest name? I’m not a fan of names that end in -leigh, but I don’t think they’re ugly names.

[catsafarithewriter]

is there any pieces of art you can think of personally where youd go "theyd definitely get a place in the bureau"??? id love to see more of baron's hypothetical community lmao (again, by no means am i asking you to write a thing) and, for bonus funsies if you want, is there any art thing that comes to mind that youd be interested in seeing Haru be?? i think shed be dope as a china doll, like in Oz The Great And Powerful's only real good scene, to parallel how ♀️ and dainty the cats treated her

[cont.] (also im sorry if youve already written about that Art With A Soul idea and your opinion of it and etc-- im still slowly sifting through your content lmao)

Firstly, never worry about asking me something I’ve already answered/covered/discussed. I’m just always delighted to get asks. (Also I’m in the UK, and now on at least a 3-week lockdown due to covid19. So, uh, I now have time. Apologies for the essay you’re about to recieve.) 

Part A: Art Creations. 

Okay, so, the first thing that comes to mind is the game Ib, a free horror game where you play as a girl trapped in an art gallery in which all the art comes to life (and attacks you). In fact, I did go on to use it in a Bureau Files case (Series 3; Case 2: The Living Gallery), but I don’t believe I’ve ever really thought about it much since, BUT art creations are certainly something that would exist and thank you for reminding me.

ALSO Confession time: I am woefully uncultured when it comes to art galleries and suchlike so, uh, I don’t have any ready answers for pieces of art that have Creation energy. However,if you’re part of the Cat Returns Discord sever (or want to be: https://discord.gg/DbJ3PG6) I’d highly recommend askingaround in the #penny-for-your-thoughts channel, because I’m sureother folk will have lots of great ideas!

I do think, that said, that Creations can come in many forms - books, music, films, statues, art, etc (I think there was even a discussion over whether websites might have the potential and what form it would come in) and there are no wrong answers in how you think they’d work. (Heck, I think I even wrote a case where a taxidermied creature became a Creation.) 

(Also, now you’ve brought up art Creations, I almost certainly will end up writing a ficlet sometime with one in. It’s a fun concept to explore! I’m just sorry I dont’ have a neater answer to your first question.)

Part B: Haru as a Creation.

Oh boy, there are so many directions you can take this in and I want to play in ALL of them. 

And, hey, great minds think alike! I actually do have a story where Haru is trapped in the form of a china doll (not specifically a Creation, but still): it’s my Christmas Nutcracker AU: A Little Ballerina. I do love the idea of Haru starting off being delicate and dainty, and then pushing her boundaries and growing, like she does in the move, so a china doll form works really well for that! 

There have been a few stories by others where Haru is the Creation and Baron is the human, in a role-reversal, so she usually ends up being wooden to make it an easy swap. 

Creation’s Lament by YarningChick (both Haru and Baron are wooden Creations; AU; not role reversal; multichaptered)

Snippets by Casandravas (Haru a wooden Creation; Baron a human; role reversal AU based on letterstoathens’ art; oneshot)

Role Reversal art by letterstoathens (see above) 

(if I’ve missed any, please tell me, folks) 

(I did have a story (inspired by the YouTube series: Emara) where Haru was part Creation, specifically clockwork/mechanical, but that’s been put onto permanent hiatus for the time being. I still like that idea though.)

Thanks for asking, and I hope you didn’t mind the essay! If anyone else has any ideas, please feel free to add your comments :)

[personalityisnice]

So watched the new video and... Whoo boy. A) That was a long one, so B) there's a lot to unpack.

Various thoughts on the events of the video:

Despite Patton being wrong being something of a central theme of this video, I was very happy to see it wasn't for lack of trying to be better. You can definitely see that he's taken the lessons he's learned from DWIT to heart.

It took me a minute to get what the "word we don't use in this house" was because I missed it, but when I realized what it was my heart was filled with joy.

J'dore. J'DORE that Thomas's response to Roman taking all the responsibility for their current problems is to call it the stupidest thing he's ever said. Especially with how down Roman's been lately. It felt to me like he really needed to hear that.

Likewise, I loved both Thomas and Patton gently prompting Roman to share his thoughts when he was hesitant to do so.

Want to get this out up front: from the very start I didn't agree with the idea that giving all of yourself all the time is a healthy or practical way to live. I wanna say this now because of, well, some things I have to say (both here and in a post I'm gonna be working on) about our... special guest.

Speaking of which, the second that music started up I nearly slapped myself in the face: Nietzsche!! Logan mentioned Nietzsche!! Logan sites sources too, but philosophers are Deceit's bread and butter. In hindsight that was a big clue as to what was coming. Well, he did much better impersonating Logan this time around.

So, not gonna lie (heh) I had to take a break from the video after the snake showed up. I had started to get a slimey, sinking feeling of dread in my stomach (given how off the rails things had gotten) that we were going to get a situation where Deceit would come off looking the most reasonable and the fanbase would subsequently forget about all the sketchy shit he's done up to this point and overlook the sketchiness he exhibits in this video if you don't fall into the trap of taking everything he's saying or doing here at face value. Hope that's not the case.

Dear God it makes me happy to see Roman not falling for Deceit's flattery this time around. And that impersonation was gold.

As soon as I heard that music I thought, oh my God is he going to.....is he going to tell us his name? And I was right, he did, there it is. Looks like the people who guessed Janus we're right on the money. I was wrong; I personally thought that name was a longer shot than Ethan.

But I should have known better after the trash boy revealed himself. Remus. Janus. Patton, Logan, and Roman. In my head and in posts I've been calling the potential orange side Orange Julius for funsies, but holy crap that could actually be his name. It rhymes with the other two and fits the Roman theme, as Julius Caesar is one of the most, if not the most well-known of the emperors of Rome.

Side note: (heh) if all the Main Sides have rhyming names and the Others do as well, it's something of a low key confirmation that Virgil is the odd one out and doesn't really "belong" to either side. I still believe he's meant to be a sort of tiebreaker, but we'll see how that pans out.

Thomas and Virgil's talk goes unaddressed for now, but ironically, that talk could very well be the reason Thomas was willing to hear the snake out.

In my SvS character analysis post I posited that the link between morality and ego might be self-image. That Thomas considering himself to be a bad person would wound not just Patton but Roman as well, because a positive self-image would feed the ego, while a negative self-image would starve it. I feel like this works perfectly with the distrust Roman shows Deceit in this video.

Could also be because Roman knows the snake was the reason they all got a visit from his brother. That's also a possible factor.

I really like the idea that Patton was making the wrong calls because he felt like he had to provide the answers Thomas needed, and like if he couldn't he was failing; that he wasn't living up to Thomas's expectations. Because what's interesting about that is it seems like Thomas feels the exact same way about Patton and so the two got stuck in a feedback loop. It also puts the moral side's behavior in the last couple of videos into context.

I swear I did start to wonder about them mentioning Leslie Odom Jr. over and over again so when he showed up at the end it was a "well, there you go" moment.

I am happy Thomas has realized that having a deceitful (and....whatever Remus is) side to himself doesn't make him an inherently bad person. Still, nothing feels finished.

The cruel irony of the Lees popping in for brunch when things like that are, as of now, a thing of the past for the foreseeable future. Still, it was good to meet them in person. They're a bit much, but nice.

Well, shit. That didn't end on the happiest of notes, and who knows when the crew will be able to film again? Still, it's more important everybody be safe, so it's an unavoidable problem for now.

Congrats to everyone involved on a job well done.

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 7x09 Never Leave Me

aka tired of subtle

We did it, guys! We made it to the last season! Also, hello if you’re new, and stumbled upon this without context. As usual, these impromptu text posts are the product of my fevered mind as I rant about the episode I just watched for an hour (okay, sometimes perhaps two). Anything goes!

And I prefer today’s episode to Sleeper as a post-Big-Bad-reveal kick-off to our season’s main arc in multiple ways. Also, Willow drags Andrew. Literally.

Season 7, as a whole, struggles from the main story arc taking up too much of its time. People often hate on filler episodes, but the truth is, you can’t fill out 22 episodes of television with a singular, focused story arc. And you shouldn’t.

Not to mention that fillers are a great way to explore characters without being bogged down by an overarching plot. (So stop hating on their concept, just because some shows do them badly.)

Buffy at its best realized that these things – your main arc, your character stories and your fillers – can coexist in the same episodes. Some of the best episodes of the show are one-off stories, using a unique set-up or villain of the week while focusing on characters and pushing the season arc on some level.

Unfortunately, the structure of season 7 makes it much harder to tell these kinds of stories. Our Big Bad is ever-present, and the battles and confrontations with it are constant throughout the season, once the reveal happens in episode 7.

I’m pointing this out not to criticize Never Leave Me, but to emphasize how good it is, and why the issue of the season has more to do with trying to keep up with the pace this episode sets.

Oh, yeah. Hot takes I guess about the episode that ranks 98th on iMDB. Never Leave Me is pretty good.

(I kinda wanna look up each episode’s iMDB ranking at this point before writing up on them, just for funsies, but I also don’t want to be influenced by the popular opinions? The struggle.)

To be fair though, part of my fondness for this episode comes from my feelings regarding the previous one. Watching it, I felt like I was seeing a much better version of what a follow up to Conversations with Dead People would look like.

And a lot of that has to do with Spike. And Buffy.

I spent the last time ranting at length about how I just don’t connect with Spike, and that’s okay. Pretty much all Buffy characters are incredibly flawed, and we all relate to and/or gravitate towards different ones, based on our own experiences. I love that. I love that these are well-rounded characters who change and grow in both surprising and consistent ways.

I also like Spike much better in this episode, because his story relates to Buffy much more strongly. Which does seem to be the best way for me to find a connection to Spike in any given episode (see also: Fool for Love).

I guess another aspect is that unlike Sleeper, this episode focuses much less on his romanticism. He instead talks about his past. About the horrific things he’s done. About his and Buffy’s self-hatred. About how he understands it and that she used him now, and how he didn’t back then.

More importantly, Buffy gets to fire back. She did tell him all those things last season. It’s why she ended things with him in the first place. She also challenges his assumptions about that self-hatred as a current motivation in what’s decidedly my favorite scene of the episode.

SPIKE:  “Have you ever really asked yourself why you can’t do it? Off me? […] You like men who hurt you.” BUFFY:  “No.” SPIKE:  “You need the pain we cause you. You need the hate. You need it to do your job, to be the Slayer.” BUFFY:  “No. I don’t hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore. You think you have insight now because your soul’s drenched in blood. You don’t know me. You don’t even know you. […} Listen to me. You’re not alive because of hate or pain. You’re alive because I saw you change. Because I saw your penance. […] You faced the monster inside you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man.”

I love this scene, because Spike posits something that’s in line with Buffy’s own fears about her relationships, something that she voices as far back as season 4. That maybe she herself seeks out these painful, dramatic romances.

…But this discussion isn’t really just about that, isn’t it? And even if Buffy hasn’t quite landed yet on how to approach her romantic history, she has plenty of self-knowledge. She knows why she hasn’t and won’t kill Spike now.

Buffy sees and believes in the best of people. Even when they don’t. And here she shows the same compassion to Spike that she did to Angel as far back as season 1.

See, she’s a protector, not a killer. And one with a huge fucking heart at that.

That’s why she didn’t kill Spike. At worst, she saw him as non-threatening to others after his chip debacle, at best, she saw a potential for him to become better.

Still. How does one reconcile this characterization of Buffy with what we see in Selfless? Has Anya not proved more than enough times that she can be better? That she’s more than just the vengeance demon she used to be?

Worse, when Buffy and Xander argue about the difference between stopping Anya then, and Willow at the end of season 6, Buffy’s argument doesn’t really make sense once you think about it. She says that they weren’t planning on killing Willow, because Willow’s human. But from everything we know of vengeance demons, there really isn’t any distinction between them and a human with powers. They still have their souls.

So the distinction Buffy makes between Anya’s and Willow’s case feels arbitrary. And so does the decision to not kill Spike at certain points of the story.

But that’s what Buffy says in Selfless, isn’t it? “Someone has to draw the line.” And in a world with no clear-cut black and white morality, that line is arbitrary.

Buffy’s been acutely aware of the fact that the world she operates in is full of grey areas ever since Lie to Me. There are no easy answers or choices, even when you’re fighting literal creatures from hell, but someone has to makes these decisions regardless. Someone has to draw the line. And that’s Buffy.

But I think that’s why she finds it all the more important to choose hope sometimes. She has to be prepared, yes, and she can’t rely on the power of love alone, as discussed before. Her responsibilities come first. But she can offer a choice.

Even in Selfless, one of the most important moments for Buffy is when she implores Xander to find her another way to deal with Anya. Which is what Willow ends up doing, by asking D’Hoffryn to offer up the same kind of choice to Anya, that Buffy felt unable to in this situation.

Never Leave Me is also the episode where the gang meets Andrew again. More accurately, Willow runs into him, and he’s terrified. As he should be.

ANDREW:  “Warren killed Tara. I didn’t do it. And he was aiming for Buffy anyway.” WILLOW:  “Not making it better.”

In case you missed it, this was a direct callback to another scene:

WARREN:  “It was an accident, you know.” WILLOW:  “Oh. You mean, instead of killing my best friend, you killed my girlfriend.”

Listen, all I’m saying that if Willow flayed Andrew after that line? I wouldn’t have blamed her.

But Willow these days is less about the murder, so instead she just stares incredulously at Andrew after that little moment of rage-inducing blunder. And they both nerd-monologue at each other, I guess?

(Sidenote: I don’t think I ever got around to mention this with the last season, but there’s an interesting and somewhat uncomfortable interpretation of the Trio, as a mirror to Willow’s own character. Mostly the worst parts of her at that of course, but there are definitely some parallels here; particularly to Warren and his tech savviness, and Jonathan and his magical abilities. Andrew is probably the least obvious example though – unless we take his relentless gay-coding as a nod to that.)

This whole storyline of course ends up being played mostly for comedy, as Anya and Xander take it upon themselves to test their interrogation techniques on Andrew. And it’s fun, too, seeing them work together without the added baggage that was their romantic relationship. It makes me both root much more for them to get back together, and wish that they wouldn’t, because they work so much better like this.

Even if Xander’s speech to Andrew is obviously supposed to be about himself, and how he’s still not over Anya.

XANDER:  “There was this one guy, her hurt her real bad, so she paid him back. She killed him, but she did it real slow. See, first she stopped his heart, then she replaced it with darkness, then she made him live his life like that. But he still had to go do his job, and see his friends, and wake up in the morning, and go to bet ad night, but he had to do it all empty. Without anything to look forward to. Ever.”

Honey… I know you know this, but you did this to yourself.

Oh, and isn’t it fun that when the Harbringers attack, one of the first things they do is knock Willow unconscious? It’s almost as if the show is trying not to call attention to the fact, that she could probably take these guys out in a second with magic.

But at least this gives Dawn some chance to kick ass, so that’s always a plus.

Another side-plot that’s happening is with my boy, Robin, who finds Jonathan’s body in the basement. And decides to bury It instead of telling anyone about it.

I’m sure there’s an explanation to this other than making us believe that he’s a bad guy, but I honestly can’t even remember. We’ll see, I guess.

The episode ends with Buffy making the connection that they’re up against the First, and the First itself monologuing at Spike about how it’s tired of being subtle. Which feels very meta in an ironic kind of sense from the show, but also marks a questionable turn in the season arc.

There’s a lot of cool concept and potential (hehe) in the First as a Big Bad, that we’ve seen demonstrated in Conversations with Dead People. It knows things. It can appear as anyone you know who died. It can mess with you in infinite ways.

In this scene though, the First is talking about bringing these Uruk-hai vampires to the surface, and that’s just not as interesting as those other tactics. Even if Buffy gets to have cool fights with them.

But that’s still to come. Who knows, maybe I’ll appreciate the super vampires after all.

Also appreciated – those scene of Quentin and the Watcher’s Council being their usual, holier-than-thou selves, keeping information from Buffy, and relying on empty platitudes... immediately followed by them getting blown up.

Yeah. This show’s anything but subtle, that’s for sure.

[3wisellamas]

Because there still aren't enough Deltarune theories: Fun Facts About Cards

So, I was thinking a lot about @pirenja's older post on Jevil and Seam as The Fool and The Magician, the first (or first and last, depending on who you ask) cards of the Tarot major arcana and which usually map to the Jokers in a standard playing card deck.  

There's also the MINOR arcana, though -- the plain numbers and suits that make up the rest of a Tarot deck, and look a LOT like a typical 52-card deck.  I knew about those, but didn't know those, so I got curious and spent a couple days looking into it, just for funsies.

So, uh...holy shit.  The card-based Darkners aren't just playing cards, they're TAROT cards.  The characters we know fit almost ridiculously well to their cards, and there were a couple parallels I found particularly interesting.  Allow me to infodump, and add in a few extra fun little things that also came up in some card research, and which might have some...interesting implications on the rest of Deltarune.  A lot of this is gonna come from Wikipedia, as well as this site.

Just a heads-up, this post is gonna include a lot of theories (some of which may or may not be pure crack) and will be LONG, and much of it will look like this:

...But in a fun way, I promise.  ~^

First, let's go over some REALLY brief info about some of the cards we've seen so far in Deltarune.  The ties between these guys and Tarot are pretty damn obvious, especially when you look at the four suits:

Diamonds:  In Tarot, their equivalent is Pentacles or Coins.  These are associated with wealth, business, and physical possessions.

Sounds a lot like the Rudinns and the King of Diamonds, right?  I mean, they're so obsessed with their treasure that they sold their beds to have more of it!

Hearts:  The Tarot equivalent is the Cups.  Associated with emotions and bettering oneself.  

Hathys are pretty big on emotion -- they're the ones you keep flirting with in encounters, after all, and the proceeds for Hathy's bake sale go towards their health.

Clubs:  The Tarot equivalent is the Wands.  This one I had to work a bit to figure out, but it seems to be more associated with social things, passion, and desire/drive.

Clover is definitely a social one, seeing as how they're throwing their birthday party in the castle when you arrive.  And they're also VERY passionate about three specific topics, which actually plays into pacifying them!

Spades:  Now for some fun.  In Tarot, these are Swords, and are most associated with...take a wild guess.  Ambition, power, violence, and the military.

Yep.  Shall we look a bit closer at the actual cards in the Spades suit, then?  

First off, the King of Spades/Swords.  The card is LITERALLY called The Warlord, and is associated with force and discipline, ruthlessness, intelligence, and sometimes coldness and abuse in a negative reading.  Pretty damn accurate to the King, I gotta say.  Not a lot of room for interpretation here.

The other Spade we know of, though?  A...little less clear-cut, but still works.  Lancer is the Jack of Spades, meaning his Tarot equivalent is the Page/Knave of Swords -- same card, just an older name -- which is indeed all about youth and energy, as well as learning and observing, and keeping cool in danger.  However, the card is also called The Spy, and also has a meaning of concealing oneself and keeping secrets.

Hm.  Some of that really sounds like Lancer, some...doesn't?  Perhaps our boy has an arc and some more character development ahead of him.  Or...I'll get back to this.  Because there is some interesting theory fuel here once I bring in another point.

Now, for a Spade we DON'T know yet, but that we know very well is coming:  The Queen.  The Queen of Swords is associated with intelligence, strategy, independence, and...repressed sadness and divorce?  Hm.

HM.  If the King of Spades is meant to be a Dark World mirror of Asgore, could the Queen end up being a dark mirror of Toriel, out in self-exile?  Time will tell.  And when we do finally meet the Queen in future chapters, she will very likely be one hell of a big deal, if the Tarot theme holds, so keep the card description in mind for that!

But, we can't stop at the Queen; we're missing a big, major detail.  In Tarot decks, and in fact in historical playing card decks in general, there are FOUR face cards of each suit, not just the three we see in a typical deck.  At the top are the King and Queen, obviously.  At the bottom is the Page or the Knave, as I said up there the equivalent of the modern Jack.  And the last one, between the Page and the Queen?  The Knight.

No, really.  The Knight is a CARD.  But, I'm gonna go further than that:  We already know someone, specifically a card person, in the Dark World who fits the description of the Knight of Swords/Spades, quite well in fact:

Associated with major, drastic changes -- pretty appropriate for the person who's been jailing kings and opening up dark fountains, huh?

Impulsive, and constantly takes actions without much planning beforehand.

Fanatical and single-minded, obsessively loyal to one thing and one thing only at a time.

Confident, to the point of arrogance.  Basically, obsessed with themselves.

Articulate, good with words, and a sweet-talker, able to get what they want through speech and charm alone.  Ironically, not often associated with direct action, and can mean cowardice.

Also, a bald-faced liar -- their whole thing is trickery and deceit.  They also keep a LOT of secrets, like the Page.

Worth noting, the Knight often replaces the Queen entirely in older decks, and is considered the card right under the King of Spades, as his main servant or advisor.

Notably, according to that Tarot site up there, they are heavily associated with major career changes and promotions.

You figured it out yet?

.

.

.

Oh yeah.  Worm knight.  

Let's go through some points with both Rouxls Kaard and that card description in mind, if you don't believe me.  

Uh, hello?  Confident, impulsive, acts without thinking, fanatical, self-centered?  The card description may as well be the guy's Wikia bio.

Articulate...well, he tries.  Can't fault him for that.  (yes you can)

Honestly, aside from that "God.  Damn it." moment, can you give me one instance in which his manner of speaking WASN'T overly flowery and fancy, to the point of ridiculousness?  That's, like, his most defining trait.

He's a coward, never actually facing you himself until you reach the castle, and instead preferring to vandalize puzzle solutions and throw minions at you.

He seriously butters you up during the entire second shop conversation, and in fact almost constantly from the moment K.Round is defeated for the final time -- he says he's always on the winning side, which at the time is you, and does his best to claim he never truly opposed you at all, that everything was a test, he just wants to help you, etc.  The guy even tries to BRIBE you at the very end if you went pacifist, offering Susie a plate of worms for letting him lie about his involvement in your adventure, to boost his own ego.  

Did I forget to mention he's pretty much got a lot of the Rudinns and Clover (and a lot of fandom it seems) charmed with his looks and manner of speaking, and wrapped around his finger as well?  Because that.

Throughout the game, Rouxls really is nothing more than a big talker and a big liar.  Most obviously, the first time you talk to him in his shop he says quite a bit, but does a COMPLETE 180 on ALL OF IT after he's defeated for the final time, suddenly going from praising the King to hating his guts and claiming to be undermining him, from mocking the Fun/$!? Squad to praising them and offering assistance, and from complaining about Lancer to admitting he cares about the kid quite a bit.  

Also, consider:  His "ultimate puzzle", which he suspiciously refused to show us...

Even if it's not explicitly pointed out as such, Rouxls is King Spade's second in command, the guy serving directly under him in the castle in the absence of the Queen (or any other castle staff besides the guards, for that matter).  In very old decks before the Queen was a thing, Knights are in between the Page/Jack and the King and are considered the King's advisor/right hand guy.

Knights also have a lot of very close connections to Pages, both in card games as well as history.  A page is literally a knight's very young (age 7-14) apprentice and servant, and stick close to them and learn from them -- similar to Rouxls' lesser dad/son relationship with Lancer!  (Also, a thought:  medieval knights would often carry lances, supplied by said page!)

During battle, the King calls the Knight "My Knight".  This might confirm that the Knight is indeed a member of his own court, the Knight of Spades, and not of another suit.  However, from the tone and some of the other things he says throughout the battle, it’s clear that King Spade actually owes allegiance to the Knight, rather than the other way around.  Possibly even some fondness for him, from that particular tone.  And...I'm not gonna beat around the bush on this.  King Spade is totally Rouxls' sugar daddy.  The King just up and fires everyone in his castle, and gives this random unqualified prettyboy the next-highest position after himself out of absolutely nowhere?  Yeah.  No.  Even incompetent kings don't just do that.  There's something really weird going on there, something about their relationship that screams there’s some shady business going on behind the scenes.  Though, potentially, one could also flip the script, seeing the new job as repayment for putting King Spade in power...

One final point, getting a bit away from the card again.  In the game, The Knight is supposed to have a close connection with the Dark Fountains, able to “pull them from the Earth” and manipulate their power to bring darkness or whatever, right?  When using the Card Castle fountain to go home, Kris and Susie teleport in a massive column of white light, that looks like this:

(Sorry, screenshotting that particular moment is tough...)

Look a little familiar?

Yep, I'm gonna go there.  The same goddamn teleport animation.  Nowhere else in the game is that particular animation used, even when it kinda should -- for instance, Jevil’s scythes also teleport in vertical columns of light, but those look entirely different!

There's some other things about Rouxls that actually make me super suspicious of the guy, but one that does so even more now, that I really should bring up if I'm claiming him to be The Knight:  Remember that last battle against K.Round?  When Rouxls brings out his "Control Crowne"?  That lets him control anything “disc-shaped”, and (if we take Ralsei's word for it) looks incredibly painful?  

...What the actual living FUCK??!  Seriously, is no one else IMMENSELY ALARMED by the fact that not only is this crown a thing that exists, but for some goddamn reason it just happens to be in the puzzle guy's possession??

I'm bringing that point up for a pretty big reason, though:  Another name for the Diamonds/Pentacles suit is DISKS.  If Rouxls wasn't just bluffing (like he does on everything else, admittedly), there's a good chance he might be able to use that crown on Diamond cards as well.

And Rouxls DEFINITELY has a lot of interesting connections to Diamonds himself, beyond that.  Rudinns generally seem to be pretty enamored with the guy, and the whole suit is all about money and even represent the Merchant, or if you will, the shopkeeper class.  (And if you ask him why he’s selling things to you, he will admit he's raising money, for...some reason.)  In a four-color deck, Diamonds are usually represented by the color blue instead of red.  Also, Diamonds/Pentacles represent the Earth element, which is where one would find worms and insects.  So, he may very well have a close connection to Diamonds, as well as being the Knight of Spades...

I'll get back to that one as well, though, because there's another point I wanna bring into this whole card mess that might complicate things.  Because while researching, I found a very, very interesting little bit of trivia about the Joker card...

Second half of this post and a LOT more fun cracktheories under the cut.  Yep, you heard me, I'm still only halfway done here!

So.  The Jokers, Fool and Magician, former members of the card court, before...something went wrong.  You know how Jevil (and presumably Seam, as his only equal) can apparently do anything?  Well, while researching Tarot, I also randomly looked into the Jokers and their functions in a couple of other card games, the biggest being Spades, because why not.

In Spades, the Joker card can attach itself to any non-Spade card in the deck to make it count as the equivalent Spade, though still inferior to the real Spade card.  In other words, Jokers can turn other cards into Spades.

No, I'm serious.  Look for yourself.

This idea I’m mostly just having some fun with here, but if this little bit of trivia happens to come into play in the next few Deltarune chapters, it might have some SERIOUS implications on what we know about the Spades court.  In particular, it means we might not be able to take...really, any of the Spades characters we meet at face value (pun not intended, but appropriate).

But you know what?  I think we should take a closer look at the Spades we already know, and see if that might already be the case.  

The King fits his card description very well, and we actually see the other three kings locked up in a cage, so none of them could have been converted into the King of Spades.  So, we can pretty much confirm he's who we think.

But, then there's Lancer.  So far, he's the only Jack we've seen -- I know the card characters were originally based on a set of playing card designs by @kanotynes, and that the Jacks in that deck included not only Lancer but also the various minor enemies we see:  Rudinn, Hathy, and Clover.  But, in the game, those three don't seem to have any royal ties at all, definitely not as princes!  So, I think we can confirm that they're not actually the Jacks of other suits in Deltarune.

So, I'm gonna go back to my first Tarot loose end -- the Page of Spades/Swords, Lancer.  Remember how I pointed out some pieces of the card's description didn't fully match the kid?  The secrets, the concealing of one's true nature?

What if Lancer's not the Jack of Spades at all, but rather another Jack that was converted into a Spade by one of the Jokers for whatever reason?  Let's take a quick look at the other Pages, and see if one fits Lancer a bit more, shall we?

The Page of Hearts/Cups:  A "sweet-natured child", immature, creative, naive, a bad childhood, and self-centeredness.  Not a bad fit for Lancer, gotta admit!

The Page of Diamonds/Pentacles:  Planning for and seizing future success and opportunities, loyalty, sometimes associated with fruit trees and harvests (”Delicious little apple” / "Sweet little peach"?), and most importantly, a student, constantly learning just like the Page of Swords.  Also not a bad fit, though maybe a little less than the Page of Cups.

Now for the really fun one.  The Page of Clubs/Wands:  Inspiration, optimism, also creativity and making plans, rushing into things without thinking (appropriate for the Knight's charge...), "a bit of a cheeky charmer or lovable rogue", impatience, laziness, and a big emphasis on "losing yourself".  Also, did I mention that Wands represent the fire element?

So, really all three other Pages have elements that fit this kid in different ways, but some of the things about that Page of Clubs are...striking, to say the least.  This possibility might be worth keeping in mind when chapter 2 ever gets released!

Now, then, there's also another Spade we know, even if unconfirmed, with no known equivalents in other suits to rule out.  Could Rouxls also have been another suit, and got converted into the Knight of Spades?  

Remember all those weird connections to the Diamonds suit I pointed out?  Well, let's talk about the Knight of Diamonds -- A Red Knight, if you will!

"A young man who is dark of complexion and features."  This is an actual quote from Wikipedia. 

Defensive -- focus on protecting home and family.

Hard worker, determined, stubborn, finishing what you start.

All about questioning one's work or home life, or where they stand on an issue.

An animal lover.

The "wish card", about making your wishes and dreams come true, via perseverance and ambition.

Also, a negative interpretation is a loser or laziness, expecting results but not putting in the effort.  

Not a PERFECT fit, but still an interesting comparison, no?  Especially those things about fulfilling your wish, but failing by not putting in the effort required, kinda like how Rouxls is quite proud of becoming the high-ranking and privileged "Duke of Puzzles", but doesn’t actually put together anything other than simple block-pushing puzzles.  Another thought that comes up:  The control crown(e).  If Rouxls was originally a high-ranking Diamond/Disk suit, that fucking thing suddenly makes WAY more sense.  (Also, it would make all the Blue Diamond comparisons really funny in hindsight.  Just saying.)

Yeah, I know, claiming that Rouxls is the Knight is a big enough deal, and this extra cracktheory about him being a Knight who switched suits  is one even I'm admitting it’s crazy, and over-analyzing is just what I do.  Who knows if all or any of this will still be plausible by chapter 2.  However, worth noting:  If Rouxls was originally another suit, and got converted into the "Lesser” Knight of Spades/Swords by one of the Jokers, then there is very likely ANOTHER Knight of Spades/Swords out there, a much more powerful one.  Hm...

...Naaaah.  Too obvious. And on the same note, if my cracktheory about Lancer being the “lesser” Jack of Spades up there ends up actually being somewhat accurate, then there's also an original one out there somewhere...

...Maybe?  If you look at that description up there again, it actually seems to fit Ralsei even better than it fits Lancer -- the things about concealing one's true nature, keeping secrets, intelligence, and analysis suddenly become quite fitting.  And didn't Ralsei's original concept art include a reversed spade instead of a heart on the front of his robe?

So, if these are the case, what card is Susie?  I'm...admittedly not sure.  ^^;  I bet someone else can find a card that fits her though, so I'll leave that one open.

Okay, okay, I'm done with the wild theories now.  Lastly, I just wanna mention a couple of other interesting, weird card things I found out while researching.  Won't go as in-depth with these, but including them because why not:

A lot of people have been theorizing about the idea of Darkners bleeding like humans, and unlike monsters.  What if I told you that "bleeding" is an actual card term?  When you bleed your cards, you're accidentally exposing your hand to other players out of turn.

Remember when Rouxls called the party "mine amigose"?  Kind of an odd line, especially coming from him, but it was actually another card game reference!  Also from Spades is the term "Three amigos":  A nickname for the Ace, Queen, and King of Spades.  Interestingly, the Ace of Swords is all about cutting through lies and exposing the truth.  (Maybe that could be a card for Susie in future chapters?)

Hell, there’s just a LOT of card references thrown all over the place.  A cute one is when Jevil says “piip piip” during his fight -- like the dots on dice, the individual symbols on number cards are called pips.

Want another fun Tarot card meaning?  Take a good look at the Nine of Swords.  It's generally considered the worst card you could get, even in a mostly positive reading -- It's literally called The Nightmare, and represents fear, stress, being overwhelmed, grief, doubts, cruelty, etc.  Basically, if it's bad, it's in this card, up to and including a complete breakdown.  Now, recall another line that seems totally benign at first, courtesy of Jevil:  "From now, a nightmare will awaken in your hearts.  In the shadow of the Knight's hand..."  If I were y'all, I'd make damn sure to WATCH THIS CARD.

Also, "The Knight's hand"...of cards, perhaps?  :P  Okay, bad joke.  

There's sometimes three Jokers in a deck -- a white one in addition to black and red.  Just sayin'.  Might wanna also keep your eyes open for a third Joker in chapter 2, maybe chilling out with the Queen wherever she is? 

[anxietysroomsupport]

Ugh ok it’s late and I might regret writing this to someone in the morning but I’m genuinely upset now bc my brother just went on a tangent abt how shipping irl ppl is awful and disgusting but crankiplier (markiplier and crankgameplays) is right next tss for me rn and I almost told him yesterday and I’m really upset that he thinks something I enjoy is revolting. Is it actually that bad like should I actually stop? I don’t post anything abt it so I thought it would be fine and I know it’s not real and not gonna happen so it should be fine right? But then why does everything think it’s so awful. I know the real people don’t care for it but they don’t hate when people do it for funsies right? I just feel so bad now like am I actually a bad person? I always seem to have problematic ships and so I have no one to talk to about it but myself which is already kinda hard, but to think that I’m hated by ppl bc I think certain people can be cute together. Can you help me understand please, like should I stop? -🧸

Hi 🧸 Anon,

This is a very grey-zone question so I think it would help to go over a general range of all the kinds of IRL shipping that take place and talk about each one.

It’s also a hotly debated topic and you can find people for and against it all over the internet, so you might want to read through more opinions as well.

First off, the umbrella opinion seems to be that shipping real people together is not cool, because it can make those people very uncomfortable.  Celebrities are already a lot more exposed than most people and their fans opinions can have a big sway on what content they produce and what directions their work takes.  So, learning that huge numbers of their fans think they should be dating someone or other can be stressful, not matter how they actually feel about that person.  

Some celebs take this information in different ways.  Thomas Sanders and Jon Cozart apparently thought it was funny and leaned into their ship by making a video about their compatibility.  But I recall a talented Loki cosplayer a while back who was very offended that fans were shipping him with another cosplayer and hated all the comments he got about it.

(There is also the side factor of people we see in media or online not necessarily showing their true personality, but actually a persona they create for their content.  Deep analysis of those personas as if they were the real person can sometimes make those celebs feel incorrectly portrayed or misunderstood.  For example, this is tied to why fanders, and Thomas himself, have made a point to clearly distinguish between the real Thomas and Character Thomas.)

So, what form does the shipping take anyway?  If it’s just thoughts in your head - a headcanon - no harm no foul.  It sounds like you’re in this category.  The celebs can’t read your mind, there’s virtually no way anyone will ever become aware that this ship is taking place in your head.  Your thoughts are your own and you shouldn’t feel bad for having them.  This is like Level 1.  But what if it went further?

Level 2 - innocent posts / chatter

From your example, Mark and Ethan do appear to have a very close friendship in their videos together.  So it’s not a big jump to see a new video and comment on their friendship or closeness, and maybe you tag it “crankiplier”.  Ships can be platonic, too, of course.  Pretty innocent, just recognizing things they’ve actually done together, thinking it’s sweet, and chatting with other fans about it.  It might not be the intended focus of the video, but their personalities and friendly chemistry is part of why they’re great to watch together.

Level 3 - fan-edits / art / fiction / and statements

This level is the ultimate grey-zone because of the broad sweeping range of content it encompasses.  Redraws of scenes people have actually been in, edits or video compilations of people’s interactions are pretty safe.  But art and fiction that are creating entirely new events get iffy.  Those celebs didn’t really do those things.  Now the fan is developing the relationship beyond what is really there, and should be reasonably cautious.  

Special attention to the word “statements” - When fans say things in the comments section or directly at celebs like, “you two should ---” or, “when are you two gonna ---?”, it’s creating a clear potential for that person to feel pressured and uncomfortable. 

Level 4 - NSFW / 

NSFW suggestions, writing, and art are very questionable!  People doing this should be prepared to highly curate who has access to their work, because hate will come out of the woodwork.  And if the celebs in question found it, there’s a high chance they would be disturbed and offended, and it may cause them to speak out against it and the poster.

Level 5 - Toxic.

All the levels before now are still grey, albeit some more than others.  But this level (that I just made up) represents the denial of facts.  While shipping can often build off of what was already there, a toxic level of shipping denies all contradicting information and tries to force its own narrative.  Think of celebrities who are actually in relationships already, but the ship is for a different pairing.  Toxic shippers will hate the real relationship, sometimes even send hate to that S.O. and promote the failure of the person’s real life relationships in favor of the ship.  That’s just wrong and it’s veering right into harassment.  

(And coming back to the point about personas, a person might have a relationship that their fans don’t know about, because they keep their private life separate from the persona they present.  Fans can’t know everything about a person, and therefore might cross the line without realizing it.  The only way to prevent that is by not being so aggressive about a ship in the first place.)

Shipping IRL can stir up a lot of strife in a fandom, because everyone has different boundaries and because it has a high potential for going too far -because it has gone too far, too many times, and people, fans and celebs alike, remember dealing with the fallout of those events and how weird it made things for everyone.  Some creators even leaving their work behind to get away from it.  When a particular celeb has stated they are already in a monogamous relationship with someone else, or they don’t like being shipped in general, their decisions should be respected.  Aggressive, pushy obsessions of IRL ships like in Level 5 should be avoided altogether just to be safe.  The celeb’s life is not ours to control.

All that said, freedom of speech means you can say whatever you like, and if that means promoting an IRL ship in various forms, then you could do that.  But other people can also tell you they don’t like it, or hate it even. 

There will always be people who hate you, or hate groups you’re in, for all kinds of random reasons.  People are just too diverse for it to be any other way.  So long as you aren’t hurting anyone (e.g. actively and thoughtfully examining your actions to prevent hurting people) then you do you, friend.

-Miss Fay

[sending-the-message]

My coworker and I are trapped at work by NuclearNathan

My coworker and I need help. I don't know how to explain any of this, and she knows a lot more than I do at this point, or at least I think she does? I don't know. She saw more than I did before this thing showed up and cornered us in the office. Something about Zeke and Heather screwing in the storage room? I don't even know what the hell that has to do with the thing outside, but it came from inside the storage room. It saw us through the cameras. It pointed at us through the goddamn camera and even if it doesn’t have a real mouth, I swear it smiled.

Catherine thinks it knows we're in here and said we needed to do something but I don't know what the fuck to do. She says she misses her boyfriend and wants to go home, but she's scared that even if we escape, it might follow us. She doesn't want to potentially bring this thing home with her and have her boyfriend get hurt. I can't believe her; we're probably gonna die a terrible death and all she can think about is keeping Vincent safe. Why can’t my girlfriend be like that?

My girl went and screamed at me for being late to her birthday party because some asshole ran me off the road and nearly into a damn tree. Didn't even ask if I was alright. She just screamed at me for ruining her night. Can you believe that shit? Rebecca, if I die, I'm haunting your ass. None of that weak ass haunting either. I’m gonna haunt you so hard you question your own sanity.

Fuck, I don't have time for details or stupid shit like that, but it sort of makes me feel better to just ramble. I need to try and explain what this thing is. It's face looks like a white mask and all it has are eyes. Well, all it had was eyes. The mask sort of cracked? Whatever. Now it's got a mouth and there's this weird black shit that kinda looks like tar maybe? It's dripping all over the place. It smells sweet. I don't know if it's blood or something, but it doesn't really look like it. It seems too dark and too thick. Doesn’t blood smell like copper anyhow? Can’t be blood.

It doesn't have teeth, I dont think. It's mouth is just kinda oozing that nasty shit all over the place. It's got black eyes with bright orange centers. Does that make sense? Like the part that's usually white is black. It doesn't have pupils, just an iris, I guess. It creeps me out remembering them. They seemed almost happy looking. That’s the best way I can describe them, anyway. Like the fucker is super happy to see us. I can only imagine why.

The worst part is that it doesn't have legs, but it's arms are like legs. It walks on it's arms. The arms are way too long and skinny and the hands are too big. It also has hair, a lot of it. It's oddly well kept. Long, black and shiny, but it obscures the majority of the body. I know it has a body, you can make it out, sorta, but the hair covers most of it. You can tell it's white like the rest of it, smooth too. Kinda like a doll. Dolls creep me out. Maybe that’s why this thing has me nope’ing the fuck out. Then again it could be because I’m pretty sure if it gets us it’s gonna kill us. That also seems pretty nope worthy if you ask me...

It can talk too. Well, sorta. It cries, laughs, screams and whispers. It sounds like a bunch of people all at once, but it's either talking in a language I can't understand or all the words are slurring together. That's probably not the best way to describe it, but I don't know what to liken it to. It just sounds like a lot of people talking very quietly at the same time, except I can't make out any bits of the conversations because there's so many happening at the same time. It’s loud and quiet at the same time. It sounds like the whispers are in your head, but also muffled and far away. I know that doesn’t make any sort of sense. I swear I’m not drunk or high right now.

At first, I don't think it knew we were in the office, but maybe? I mean, it saw us through the camera, so maybe it knew... We didn't know where it went after it busted down the door to the storage room and started screaming. Once the screaming stopped, we checked the cameras to try and find it. We couldn't see it anywhere so it had to be in one of the blind spots and assumed it was in the hallway. We couldn't really try to run since if it was in the hallway, we'd for sure run into it. So instead we just stayed here and kept as quiet as we could. We waited. A lot of this whole thing involves a lot of shutting the fuck up and waiting. What else can we do though? Go out and say hello? Fuck that noise.

Catherine said something about how leaving the cameras on was dangerous if that thing could see through them, but that was our only way of seeing it, you know? So we left them on and waited. Finally, it came into view over on camera 4, near the produce section. I wanted to bolt right away, but Catherine insisted we try to leave as quietly as possible so it wouldn't hear us. She said something about not knowing how fast it is, so we shouldn't try to outrun it unless it spots us first. Better safe than sorry I guess. Personally, I wanted to run down the hallway to the exit, screaming like a baby. Not my brightest course of action, but damn I’m not in a great state of mind, you know? Demonic doll thing wanting to kill me and all.

We tried to leave. We started creeping down the dark hallways as quietly as possible. Catherine left the office door open as a just in case sort of thing. I was fucking terrified, but she seemed really fucking calm considering our situation. We almost made it to the exit, but that monster found us. It fucking laughed when it saw us and I swear it was smiling again. Catherine kinda glanced between the thing, the exit and the way we came from. I think she was trying to figure out what our chances were at getting around it, but it's pretty big. Bigger than she is, that’s for sure. Maybe not as big as I am, but definitely taller. It’s arms are way too long. Legs? Arm legs. Larms? Fuck! Why does it even matter! It’s tall, okay?

Whatever she was thinking was cut short by that thing screaming and running straight towards us. I can't even describe how fucking terrifying it is to see something that creepy running at you on it's hands and screaming. It moves all jittery like. Catherine shouted to run. We did. She's a lot faster than I am, but that's a good thing. She ran to the broom closet, grabbed a broom and smacked the ever loving shit out of that thing when it almost caught me. It laughed and screamed as it was getting back up, but it gave us just enough time to turn the corner and make it to the office without it seeing where we went. Catherine shut the door quietly so it wouldn't know. I think it must have figured it out anyways because it just started slamming against the office door and screaming something in gibberish. I really want to scream at it to fuck off, but I really doubt that’s gonna help the situation.

The police are on their way, but Catherine says we can't just sit and wait for the door to break. She's crying now and I thought she would text or call Vincent, but when I asked her if she wanted to use my phone to contact him, she said she couldn't bring herself to worry him or risk him coming here to try and save her. I swear she's too good of a person for this shit to be happening to her. I really don't want her to die. I mean, I don’t wanna die either, but I’d feel even worse about dying if she had to die with me.

We don't know what it wants and we don't know why it's here. We don't even know what it is. Ghost? Demon? Something else? Stupid fucking doll hellspawn from my nightmares? We can't understand it so we can't even try to figure out what the fuck it's saying. It feels evil. Really, really maliciously evil. Like, kill you and feast on your innards evil. Or murdering babies for funsies evil.

I tried to call Zeke and Heather, but Zeke won't answer and Heather just keeps texting me about how she's thirsty. Catherine found a spare charger and is charging her phone now. I think she might be on the phone with Zeke? That thing outside is so loud I can't even hear anything else. It won't shut the hell up.

We don't have access to anything outside of this office and it's pretty much typical office supply shit. What am I gonna do, attack it with a stapler? Tell it I’m could burn the building down if I wanted to? Tell it if it leaves, that’d be great? It’s already pretty damn pissed off and I'm 90% certain it wants us dead so it can eat our damn innards. No need for me to make it angrier with shitty Office Space jokes, right?

Actually... it just stopped slamming the door and now it's just outside crying and whispering. Even though the words don't make sense, I get the feeling it wants us to let it in. I can't do that though, because I'm goddamn terrified and I feel like if I open that door I'm going to die. I’m definitely going to die if I let it in. It’s going to kill me. I don’t know why it wants to kill me. I haven’t done anything to anyone. I can’t even kill spiders.

Catherine is looking through the drawers of the office, dunno why. I asked her if she got through to Zeke and she gave me a weird look. Can't describe it really. Unnerved, maybe? She said yes, but that all she heard was weird gurgling noises. I told her about Heather's texts and she didn't know what to make of it, but said that she texted Heather earlier about something unrelated and she responded the same way. Typical fucking Heather. She’s never any help to anyone. She’s useless. Pretty though, so I won’t hold anything against Zeke for wanting a piece. Still, she’s a stupid bitch who thinks she’s something special. I tried to make a pass at her once, she acted disgusted. I just wanted an easy lay. As if I’m actually interested in some shallow brat. Get over yourself you gypsy whore! … Alright maybe I am kinda bitter over the rejection, but still.

We're at a complete loss here. I think Catherine is trying to seem strong, but she's quietly crying while going through the drawers and shelves. The best weapons we have are some pretty dull box cutters, scissors and maybe a stray screw driver or two in the drawers. She just inspected the vents and says we could crawl through it if we had to, but that it's probably not the best idea. Something about enclosed spaces, not knowing where we're going and crawling on our hands and knees giving us even less of an advantage than we already have. Not a bad point. Besides, that’s some Dino Crisis shit right there. Getting taken out in a vent, I mean. God this fucker is so damn noisy. Doesn’t it know how to shut up?

I really don't want to die tonight. I've already humiliated myself in front of Catherine by literally pissing my pants earlier when that thing almost caught me. Yeah. I pissed myself. You would have too, okay? I guarantee you would have. Catherine noticed. She’s letting me preserve whatever dignity I have left by pretending she didn’t see, but I know she did. As if this night wasn’t already terrible. The only thing worse would be dying. I really can't deal with pissing myself in front of the girl I like and also dying. That'd make for a really shitty night. This even tops the night I got drunk and puked all over Rebecca mid-sex. She tossed me out on my ass completely naked in the middle of fall. Okay, okay, I know she had a right to be pissed, but that’s still a fucked up thing to do to a guy.

The whispering is getting to be too much. It's so damn loud. It's like tons of people are in the room here with us trying to have a conversation on their phones all at once. It's gonna drive me mad. It's so fucking loud. I keep screaming at the thing to shut up but I doubt it can understand English. Catherine keeps trying to calm me down. I think she told me to try and tune it out like white noise? She says if I stop focusing on the noise and on something else, it’ll be easier to tube it out. Her smile, strained as it is, makes it a little less unbearable. Instead I find myself focusing on her. Her long, wavy brown hair, the freckles across her nose, the little scar on her left hand, her cute, pouty lips. I know this is fucked up, but I wish she wasn't with Vincent. Is it weird that's what I keep thinking about? It sucks even more because he's such a great guy. They're so fucking perfect together.

She found a hammer underneath the desk and a crowbar behind one of the larger file cabinets. She asked me which one I wanted. If I'm being honest, I want that damn crowbar, but I told her to take it. I'm pretty sure she's more capable than I am at this point. I think she knew I wanted it. Looking into those big green eyes of hers, I can just tell she knows and is letting me save face by acting like she doesn't know I'm just a damn coward. She smiled at me and told me we're going to be alright because it's not going to expect us to fight back. She says we're definitely getting out of this alive. I want to believe her. I want to believe her so bad.

Catherine says I should post this now, while the thing outside has quieted down. I think it's just fucking with us though, it busted down the door to the storage room, after all. So why can't it seem to get in here? It has to be tormenting us on purpose. The sounds are driving me crazy. Why won’t it shut up?

Oh and does anyone know what, 'teem gah seet' means? Google isn't telling me anything useful, but the stupid fuck keeps whispering that shit through the door.

[tcottagecheese]

So, I have this The Big Bang Theory AU

So I have this sorta AU of the big bang theory that start sooo early in the show, and it’s one that I live in a sad relationship with because the big bang theory was the one show I was heartbroken to hate.

So, basically, we meet the boys and Penny, and she IS this blond, Nebraskan naïve kid who’s just really into the United States’ dream of fame and fortune so she’s in Cali, and we happily go those three or four episodes where the blond dumb tropes where… eh, okay, and all the boys where just behind he creepy line in their adorkable type that you half cringed but they seemed more like Peter Pan’s lost boys and less future sexual harassment suits; so, we’re just a that point, then, STOP:

AND ACTION:

Because in my half-made expectations before the show actually got along, Penny, who has been spending most dinner nights with the boys save the occasional ‘girls night out trope’, has some ‘unnamed person over’ in the boys apartment, and they can be really impressed or snide about some unfinished equation on the board, and this will prompt her into explaining whatever crazy science scribble it’s on Sheldon’s board really earnestly, which of course send everyone into shock, only she brushes it off because when she was a little kid she was actually somewhat into science before it stopped being cool (as in, high school where all dreams go to die), so, she forgets about that…

EXCEPT then one day Leonard is SUPER stuck on something on the board, and she goes and just… puts those numbers that seemed to be just missing from it, and HEY YOU JUST SOLVED THIS CRAZY HUGE EQUATION HOLY SHIT

And then it turns out PENNY was a ‘WHATEVER BRANCH OF SCIENCE SHELDON AND LEONARD ARE’ genius all along, but she never allowed herself to be too much into it the mere basis behind it (math and physics) because growing up she had too much energy to just allow herself those hours listening to sciency diatribes to put into written all that stuff she always kinda got in a faraway sense, but now she’s older and can actually focus beyond bull-riding, she realizes that faraway thing is SCIENCE and IS HER THANG

ONLY excuse you, she has a dream, and it’s to be an actress, so she resists the call of math, and stubbornly continues auditioning and selling herself as THE BLONDE TROPE because she’s a sensitive artistic soul who will NOT be shackled by the rigor of scholastic paths

ONLY turns out that Caltech place pays really well, and she does like shoe shopping, so she allows them to lure her once in a while to the evilness of UNIVERSITY where she feels really awkward because as the show shows, CalTech seems like a really cut-throat place, and also she’s not into writing out long essays explaining her math thingy, no please. SO she continually escapes the clutches of Gabblehouser (? his name T.T)

WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO THE BOYS! who are super confused by this sudden turn of event (A WOMAN who is ATTRACTIVE and SMART and also their PLATONIC FRIEND *gasp!) and at first don’t really know how to interact with Penny, who as far as she is concerned still acts her same hot dumb blonde role, only better paid, cuz it’s not like her actual intellect changed, she just started using that part of it she disconnected from a whiiiiile ago, (so no, she won't suddenly turn into an overnight nerd more than she had always been, nor does she abandon her cute outfits and vanities and actual lazy personality)

And part of the show would be about the boys showing her the cool fun parts of SCIENCE without dumbing it down for her in that really insulting way they do it on the actual show

Part of it is also Sheldon going bananas because the faculty asked him to make Penny’s BRILLIANT UNADULTERED GENIOUS into hard, fast, college essay worthiness, and no, Penny, Chicago is not the right way for citations and STOP PUTTING CUTE SQUIGGLES IN THE PAGE FRAME WOMAN! CUTE SCIENCE IS NOT SCIENCE And also let’s stop looking at my equations I can do it myself, and poor Sheldon ends up having to translate pop cultured sass into gentile math for the sciency peeps, (P & S do always influence each other, after all) so we focus on their cute, quirky BFFsness (and maybe eventual romance, cuz I shipped them until HARD CHAUVANIST SHELDON EMERGED later in the show) and they have the time of their lives bickering over how Penny’s equations are too short and dry and to the point while Sheldon’s are whimsical and romantic and too drawn out.

And the other beautiful part of it it’s the boys are still having their go at love, except HERE they actually realize the kind of woman they want to date is LITERALLY RIGHT THERE to give them real life advice beyond ‘pick up lines/ew nerds are creepy’ and explains the things women actually want, like being respected for their intellect in whatever shape may come, as well as whatever employment they have –whether there rocket scientist or dog walkers or waitresses, as long as they work hard and honestly for a living no work should be made fun of-

AND because this is an AU, Penny actually, continually whoops their asses Nebraska style for being sexist little shits and thinking they can get away with it with their little underdog bullshit and off course it’s not something that happens like magic, it takes a series of dramatic, emotional, occasionally chaotic events that allows the boys to finally understand that they’ve been materialistic jocks all along, (really, just give them serious muscles and a backwards hat and they all become that really frightening coworker/schoolmate/ad infinitum that acts in that super unsettling way that they think it’s sexy-funny but it’s actually very threatening) 

SO: they find themselves on all too new path in their search for a partner: one in which they start to view women beyond the tropes and the ideals, and realize there’s some seriously cool chicks who are actually always that much more deep than they initially realized and perhaps they don’t find THE RIGHT ONE, but somehow they start gaining an increasing number of awesome, diverse women friends, and sometimes some of them grow to be more than that!

And of course, this is a COMEDY so, instead of the creepy ‘revenge of the nerds’ shenanigans that always leave u feeling that bit uncomfortable (using toy trucks with cameras to see under a person’s skirt in real life is SO WRONG so I don’t understand why it was okay on TV on a space where the guys were supposed to be her friends, in the very building where she lives and also that teddy bear with the camera that’s super illegal?) Penny and all the boys’ new woman friends teach them the WAYS OF LOVE into girls hearts, the REAL ONES like actively listening (not dude-listening where they nod and you can see them thinking ‘women talk’) and engaging in non-judgmental debate rather than lying about agreeing with whatever they think they want to keep them agreeable, and talking WITH them about the boys interests rather than AT THEM because seriously, there are many fun ways to join all the sci-fi, fantasy, etc fandoms with aspects of EVERYDAYS LIFE you just have to take an interest in what the other person likes and TRY to find a way to make the convo fun for both, which the boys by their very own plot are not very good about but the point of social awkwardness is that it can be helped by practicing in safe environments with people you trust,

but again, because it’s a COMEDY they’ll try too hard (like they’ll try to explain how PRO-feminism they are, except they’ll be so earnest and filled with facts about it that they’ll dominate the entire conversation and at the end of their date they’ll be like OHSHIT I DID THAT MALE THING) , or just plain be stuck in WTF-With-This-Century-Land (like a girl who aggressively insists on paying her own food but then gets super offended when they don’t open the door for them and the boys are like: I JUST WANT TO RESPECT YOU! And men who insist on fighting for WHITE MAN RIGHTS-hellyeah! and they want to jump in and argue that except Rajesh is the only actually culturally diverse and he’s kinda meh about it so they just flutter with indignation) or a trope where they’ll be watching some movie/playing a game that they REALLY love only half way through it they start to get really uncomfortable and then they’ll realize that’s its sexist in some way or another and they be like: THIS TOO?! DAMN YOU WHITE RICH MALE SOCIETY! YOU’VE LEFT ME WITH NO SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE THINGS TO ENJOY! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS WRONG WITH YOU IN THE 80s-90s?!)

All meanwhile Penny is seriously tripping cuz how the fuck did they make an 80 page long, long-worded, pompous pretentious essay on that itty-bitty, classy, elegant equation she wrote for funsies last week SHELDON WHY and now she has to read through it all when she just wants to go for a fun caltech-cheque spending shoe extravaganza and kick the traumatized boys’ asses on halo ½ which they have decided are the least offensive ones in the franchise and even though Penny is very ‘meh, its fine, women are used to it’ they’re like NO WOMAN MY GUILTY CONCIENCE WON'T LET ME ENJOY THE GAME AND ALSO IT GIVES YOU AN ADVANTGE CUZ WE’RE TOO BUSY ASSURING OURSELVES WE’RE NOT PART OF DA-SYSTEM TO SHOOT BACK!

So Penny learns to integrate this part of herself she always pushed aside and learns about being a practical adult while maintaining that sweet, yet dryly idealistic side that made her Penny, and also using your full potential in all that you do and probably something about balancing all the aspects of your personality rather than grabbing the ones you think will please people the most and shoving the other aside, and my babies will learn that once they put aside prejudice and insecurity and cynism by way OF TRYING HARD AND ACEPTING YOURSELF (as in the human that you are at your core, not all those things society tries to pin on you) even when certain parts of society aren’t always ready to take you as you are, rather than conforming and using this as an excuse to justify behaviour your ‘label’ accuses you of, you keep opening yourself up and never stopping from trying, (which is hard and not always short-term rewarding) it all leads to something beyond physical attractiveness and first-meeting impressions and tropes and prejudices and all that crap, it leads to TRUE HUMAN CONNECTION OF MINDS AND SOULS ALIKE.

And that’s the actual, awesome Big Bang of HUMANITY!

So, yes, this is what I had actually pictured back in the very first episodes before it all went so, so wrong. I really thought it was gonna be one of those progressive, dry/funny shows that show the fun side of progress like The Flash or Boy Meets World

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Hello! Can I request an MC who drags the RFA (plus the minor trio, of course), to an amusement park as a surprise?

***Of course you can! This one actually sounds super fun. Let’s see how that turns out for everyone. Starting with my favorite, Yoosung!

For the purposes of this lil blurby blurb, all of the canon characters have made it through their good endings, V has had an operation to restore *some* of his sight, Saeran has gone through a treatment program to make him more stable, and Vanderwood is my version of Vanderwood whom you can get to know in my Vanderwood Backstory fanfiction. The MC/you will also be implementing a blindfold because funsies.***

Yoosung:

‘Where are you taking me?’ Yoosung is confused, but also super excited/ His precious girl is taking him somewhere for a surprise! Blindfolded and everything?! Yes, please.

’You’ll see.’ You take off the blindfold and Yoosung’s violet eyes go wide. AN AMUSEMENT PARK?

Yoosung is all for this, sure he’s a little nervous when you want to go on a ride that goes upside down, but he takes a deep breath and does it anyway because HE IS A MAN DAMMIT.

You try everything especially trying to win some really cute matching stuffed animals, one for you and one for him so you can both hug them close at night. Yeah, he’s really cheesy like that.His depth perception isn’t the greatest thanks to his injury, but he manages to get you some really cute green bunnies.

Yoosung seems to have even more energy than you do and by the time he realizes you’re tired and not feeling well he goes into doctor mode, checking your forehead, pulse, anything at all to make sure you’re okay. “Yoosung, I‘m just fine, just tired.” Now he realizes he was being silly and blushes up a storm, apologizing and taking you home. He tucks you in and everything.

Jaehee:

Jaehee is super nervous. Surprises for her usually meant someone made a mistake in the latest office report or Jumin had a new cat project.

Why did she agree to this again? When the blindfold comes off, she’s just as nervous. Jaehee has never been to this kind of event because she was always studying and trying to advance her career, avoiding being a burden.

You assure her that it’s going to be a good time and take her around the fair, going through a house of mirrors and some of the other smaller attractions before you try anything more.

Finally, you manage to get her to go on one of the faster roller coasters and the adrenaline rush is apparently a little too much for her because now she’s clinging to you saying how you need to find a way to put that feeling into one of your specialty coffee drinks.

Maybe this was just a tad much for her first time at an amusement park because she totally passes out once you get home and you just snuggle up.

Zen:

If his cutie wants to take him somewhere, you can bet he wants to go. The only hard part was convincing the director to give him a day off and he maybe did one of his best performances and called in sick. This guy can fake a cold like no other. The only cold he ever has is one he pretends to have.

He’s more worried than anything when the blindfold comes off and he realizes where you are. There’s so many people and he’s pretty popular right now so he keeps getting recognized and it’s totally spoiling the fun whenever a girl tries to flirt with him.

You end up getting him a ‘disguise’ sunglasses and a hat, but you get to walk around holding hands uninterrupted with your babe for several hours.

Zen does take off his disguise from time to time to get a selfie with his favorite cutie in front of the different attractions.He simply insists, in the very least to post them to the chatroom and make the others jealous.

Alright, so you’re definitely ending up in the tunnel of love because Zen is just that guy but you can bet he doesn’t unleash the beast. He only does that at home.

Seven:

So, usually he’s the one putting the blindfold on you. Fufufu, but seriously, this seems like fun, and you know if Seven thinks it’s going to be fun, he is way more than in.

Once the blindfold comes off, he’s sweeping you into his arms and running off towards the nearest attraction. So, he said he wasn’t going to be Seven anymore and just be Saeyoung, but let’s be honest he’s shouting LOLOLOL the entire time he’s running with you.

So. Much. Fairfood. This boy eats junk food like it’s the nectar of the gods, but hey if you’re his MC you probably are enjoying it just as much as he is.

Seven tries to win you the biggest stuffed animal there. It’s bigger than you. He names it Sir Bearington.What a big goof.

Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for you both to get on that rollercoaster after having all of that funnel cake, but hey, you managed to have a great time.

Jumin:

He thinks it is completely impractical for you not to tell him where he is going. Jumin had to call of a very big meeting for this surprise, although he was happy to do so if it would make his darling happy. Jaehee isn’t a fan of the fact that she now has to babysit Elizabeth the 3rd for the day, though.

Once the blindfold comes off. “Oh yes, I’ve heard of these commoner’s attractions. I’m almost certain the company has hosted an event very similar to this one.” He’s going around examining everything like it’s an art museum, and it’s actually rather cute.

Don’t try to get him to eat the fair food. “My nutritionist would advise against this. I’m sure it’s well over the 300 extra calories I’m allowed a day.” Maybe you can get him to have a bite of something, but he will most likely pull a face. All that sugary sweetness is too much for his sophisticated taste buds.

You do manage to get him to try a rollercoaster, but he sits there with his arms crossed? Afterwards he starts analyzing the adrenaline rush and sensations. “I see, when these coasters stop at the very top before a fall it’s to heighten the anticipation for the rider.”

Still, you love your sweet Jumin and have a good time, even if he doesn’t quite know how to shut off his constant need to acquire knowledge. He also buys an entire cart of stuffed animals after you mentioned that you thought that cart was cute. Excessive, but sweet nonetheless.

V:

The blindfold makes him super uncomfortable. He’s only just had an operation to restore the majority of his sight, so you decide that just not telling him where you’re going is good enough.

Once the amusement park comes into view, he’s squinting to make it out, but then realizes where you are. It’s not something he’s used to, but the opportunity to make new memories with you is something he wouldn’t miss for the world.

There’s actually an art competition in one of the buildings there, and you decided to check that out, even though it was mostly amateur submissions, it was fun and there were quite a few talented artists clearly. It was just too bad V had such trouble seeing all the little details.

After managing to get him on a rollercoaster, he’s maybe just a little freaked out, the ground was a blur for more than one reason, you apologized but he said it was fine and was back up and walking around with you in a matter of a few minutes.

He tried, really tried, winning you a prize, but you ended up having to be the one to do it thanks to his poor eyesight. He apologized profusely and you had to tell him at least a hundred times that it was alright, that your heart had absolutely melted just by his gesture of trying.

In the end you mostly walked around holding hands and enjoying each other’s company. Both of you were ridiculously tired and you hadn’t done very much, but sometimes just being in each other’s presence is what’s most important. V seemed to understand that more than anyone.

Saeran:

It takes a lot of persuasion to get him to allow you to put the blindfold on him. He’s been through a lot and still has some trust issues, but you’re working through them.

Once you take the blindfold off, you can see that he’s really nervous. There are a lot of people here, but you decide to take him to the back of the amusement park where there’s less of them, everyone else starts at the beginning.

He falls in love with the fair food, especially this weird frozen dot thing which is similar to ice cream but not quite ice cream and his eyes just go big and you know he’s having a good day now.

Saeran, very reluctantly, tries a mild rollercoaster with you and with how hard he’s gripping the bars at the end of it, you’re thinking, Oh, no, it was too much! But then he mildly asks if maybe you can go on another one? So, you do, and he seems to really be enjoying it, surprising you both completely.

The crowd does eventually get way too big and noisy for him so the two of you head home and to wind down you snuggle up on the couch. You’re so glad he’s actually letting you snuggle up with him for once, and he’s glad to have had a good day out with you for once. That’s how you fall asleep.

Vanderwood:

This is stupid. You want to put a blindfold on him and take him somewhere he doesn’t know where is? He needs to scan the area for potential danger! Once you promise him that you’ll take it off as soon as you get there and he sees how excited you are, Vanderwood concedes. You win. Blindfold him.

Once the blindfold is off, he’s not in much better of a mood. Crowds like this have a high potential of danger, but at least you’d be able to blend in, so that was a bonus.

Getting him on a rollercoaster was really difficult, mostly because he thinks it ridiculous that people do these kinds of dangerous things for a false high. Once he’s done it though, yeah no it’s fun. That adrenaline rush is totally worth it. Okay, so maybe not too many rollercoasters for him since he doesn’t need to relapse into his old ways.

The fair food was equally as difficult to get him to try. Vanderwood takes pride in taking excellent care of his body and watching what he puts in it. You manage to get him to try a smoothie, but that’s about as much as you’re going to get out of him.

For the fun of it, you try a shooting game and the person running it eventually asks the two of you to please leave his cart because he’s not going to have any teddy bears left if he keeps winning so easily. So, now you have a brand new collection of teddy bears. Nice. Vanderwood realizes  that it’s going to be a problem to find somewhere to put them all, having gotten caught up in the moment, but you’ll figure it out once you get home.

This guy is so OCD that he keeps picking up every little tiny piece of trash he sees. “People are so disgusting, the trash can is five feet away!” Yeah, he is not a fan of litterbugs. Vanderwood is definitely happy to be back to your nice clean place at the end of the day, even though he’ll have to admit that he did actually end up having a good time.

Check out my fanfictions and make sure to submit a request for blurbies! They’re currently open. NSFW accepted.

[smoothshift]

My review of a C7 Corvette Grand Sport vs. a 2008 Audi R8 via /r/cars

My review of a C7 Corvette Grand Sport vs. a 2008 Audi R8

I daily drive a C7 Corvette Grand Sport that I unfortunately had to take into the shop this week since I scraped a curb when entering my apartment building (yes it was stupid, and yes I am devastated about doing that)

As a car enthusiast I do spend lots of time reading and watching car reviews, but obviously I only have so much money and I'm definitely not the type to swing by dealerships for "funsies" test drives so I figured it would be a good idea to rent some cars on Turo that I have been interested in while waiting for my C7 to get repaired.

The R8 that I rented was a 6 speed single clutch auto with a 4.2L 420HP V8 producing 317 lbs of torque at 4,500RPM. The car weighs around 3600lbs and has AWD. My C7 has 460HP and 460 lbs of torque and weighs about 3450lbs.

Though the numbers are in the C7's favor, I figured the R8 wouldn't be dramatically off the mark once you figure in AWD and mid-engine chasis goodness (yes I know the C7 is technically mid-engine...but it gets that honor more on a technicality as far as I am concerned). There's also the fact that the R8 is a bona fide supercar/halo car while the Corvette is always characterized as a sports car that just really punches above its weight class once you look at the value proposition.

Here's some initial thoughts on the R8.

-The first thing I noticed about the R8 is its single clutch automatic transmission. Dual clutches are definitely more standard nowadays so driving a single clutch auto was interesting. When the car is in automode you can feel the car letting off the gas, letting the clutch engage, and kind of "surging" like you would feel on a regular manual transmission car shifting through gears. This was fun and engaging because you had the sensation of driving a manual transmission car without the hassle of using a clutch. That being said, the auto mode was definitely very clunky (and I'm not even being picky) but manual mode was a pure joy to drive around with, and is definitely the preferred mode for the car (whether you're being a driving purist or not). The only thing that I didn't like about the transmission was that it did wear you out after a while, and though the R8 is often characterized as a civilized super-car, this transmission would make it a tiresome daily driver.

-The handling on the R8 is quite impressive. When you corner you can feel the car dig into the turn, it's not leaning, it's not body rolling, you very much feel it carving into the turn. It's a little hard to describe but it's definitely something that you feel with this car. I've heard Porsche's described this way and I feel like this very much translates to the R8 as well, but the car always goes over bumps with a single "bounce" of the suspension. Most American cars (the C7 included) do more of a "bounce a few times and settle" kind of act, so the single bounce dampening does help to inspire confidence. Having never driven a mid-engine car I was worried a bit about snap oversteer and things of that nature, but the car always felt planted and was very easy to control.

-The power on this car was a letdown. Though I wasn't necessarily expecting it to have Corvette levels of torque, there was never really a time when revving this car out that I was blown away. You often hear with these statements about high revving V8 like "It's just so linear" and "This thing just screams as it revs to 8,000RPM!!!!!" but honestly it was very much "I'm putting my foot down, the speed is accelerating, but the car isn't getting anymore exciting." On the flip side, with our super high horsepower era upon us, I found it very fun using the throttle for more than 4 seconds and finding myself not breaking the law. So though I wasn't blown away by the power, I found that the car was more exciting to drive around town since you can engage with the car more without doing something dangerous.

-The braking on this car worked but it was nothing to write home about. I would characterize the brakes as very progressive. You could feel them working, but they never really had an initial "bite" which can sometimes be confidence inspiring or helpful if you need it.

-Though this car is characterized as a daily-able supercar, it is a noticeable downgrade compared to a Corvette. The lack of luggage space (even with a frunk) kind of sucks. The single clutch transmission makes parking lots a little terrifying because there is no creep. Though visibility is generally good, there's some tough blind spots by the "B-Pillar". Since the car is so expensive you are also very concerned about something stupid happening to it. Though I take care of my Corvette, I don't worry about it like I worried about this thing. So in general I wouldn't want to daily this car, and I've been dailying either a C5 or C7 Corvette for the past (5) years, so it's not like I'm opposed to the idea of driving around a performance vehicle everyday.

-For all of the hype about German luxury car interiors and materials I would honestly characterize this car as feeling closer to my C5's interior than I would my C7's. Yes things felt more "solid" than they did in my Vette but the interior wasn't take my breathe away impressive in any regard. Though things looked nice, the car did feel like something was missing for some reason, and so neither my girlfriend or I liked the interior as much as we did on my C7 and surprisingly my C5 (I know...C5 interiors have a very bad reputation but they at least feel complete)

After driving the R8 for a weekend I would still very much pick my C7 Corvette over it, heck I would even pick my old C5 over it as well. Here's why:

-Once you open the throttle of a C7 Grandsport it's like you're being pulled by a freight train. The car obviously has a pretty strong 0-60 time, but as you get past 80 the C7 just keeps pulling. No matter what I did with the R8 it just didn't put a smile on my face like the C7 does when you open her up. That being said, with the R8's AWD and better weight distribution, I actually think I could launch the R8 better than I could a C7, but at any speed you can get on the throttle of a C7 and be blown away by its power, the same can't be said about the R8. This wasn't a huge surprise per say, but I never thought I would miss the C7's power and torque as much as I actually did.

-The C7 is just easier to maneuver and drive. The R8, though it felt planted, also just felt very heavy and bulky at times. It made you feel not as nimble or quick coming off the line or maneuvering. Granted, this bulk did make it feel like you were in a more bona-fide exotic, but it would develop into a pain if you were to use it as a true daily.

-The C7 staight up handles better. Though I was generally impressed with how composed the R8 was through corners, and how it "carved" when cornering. It also felt like it loaded up on G's a lot quicker than my C7. So I often found myself slowing down quicker into a corner than I would on my C7. In general, though the R8 felt more engaging, on the C7 you feel like you aren't really anywhere near its potential. I would also give the C7 major points for being a great performance handler, while also having driving characteristics that are a bit more friendly day to day.

-The C7 in general gets much more attention than the R8 did. Now granted the R8 is a purposefully understated car, so I didn't expect it to grab attention but here I was driving around this $150,000 car all weekend and not a single person really seemed to notice. Meanwhile my Vette is constantly getting winks and nods. The lack of attention could be considered a good thing, but if you're blowing $150K I feel like everyone should know about it.

-Honestly beyond the fact that a Corvette doesn't have (4) seats, it pretty much drives like a regular car. I've had no issues using either my C5 or C7 as a daily driver. This weekend I already felt like I was running into practicality issues just driving the R8 around town. So though it might not be as much of a prima dona as a Lambo or Ferrari, a Corvette is just much more of a no brainer.

-The R8 just doesn't have personality. It's a great performer, it's a great machine, but I just never really got it to put a huge smile on my face. On the C7 you hear it crack and pop as you open it up and shift gears, it gets progressively faster as the throttle opens up, and at the end of the whole ordeal you go "holy crap that was kind of awesome". The R8 on the other hand just kind of keeps saying "this is what a super car is supposed to be like" and though you're impressed, you're not exactly in love with it. Top Gear did a review of a C6 ZR1 vs a V10 R8 and they came to a very similar conclusion. I think it's spot on.

So in conclusion, if you're looking the get a used R8 you really might want to look at a Corvette instead. A C7 is going to blow a used V8 R8 away easily. Heck I would wager that you will have just as much fun with C5 Vette as you would with an R8. This isn't to say that the R8 isn't an impressive machine or performer. Just for the money (whether new or used) you can likely get cars that deliver a lot more fun, practicality, and heck even attention if you want it. For me personally, this is definitely a car that I can safely say I wouldn't want to buy, despite the fact that it's a good machine and that I respect what it does.