#so once Morf is done

[meganechan05]

Lmao got home and the first thing I do is open a package that has some new Rita faceplates

[ovaova]

TW: Blood, suicide, cheating, etc

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“I told her…I told her that, I was pregnant….”

That’s when Bakugo froze.

His relaxed position against his desk became strict as his face started to morf into disbelieving shock.

“You what…” He hissed, looking at his assistant, Uraraka, as if she had grown two extra heads.

Uraraka stood there twiddling with her thumbs

“I told her that I was pregnant…and that it’s yours, I’m sorry-“

“No no no-“ He interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You didn’t do that, you couldn’t have-”

Katsuki started to pace back and fourth as the panic started to creep in, causing Uraraka to start to buckle.

“I couldn’t hold it in anymore, okay!? Do you know how much guilt I’ve had since that night? Since I told you I was even pregnant? I can’t even look (y/n) in the eye! I can’t even talk to her like I used-“

“YOU DON’T THINK I FEEL GUILTY TOO? HUH? That’s my fuckin wife! Do you know how much I love her?? Let’s not forget, that all this was a goddamn mistake, all it took was one too many at a shitty award party..and now look at where the fuck I am-“ Katsuki groaned, his sentence being muffled at the end by him stuffing his face in his hands.

“Katsuki..”

“NO- do NOT call me that. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME?? I should’ve listened to my first fuckin thought when it told me to tell you to get a goddamn abortion. But no, you just had to be so smitten by this mistake that I let you keep it...”

“SHUT UP- it’s not just my fault okay?! And it’s definitely not this baby’s fault that we both messed up! Look I know you love (y/n) okay? That’s why I HAD to tell her, it’s unfair to her to be living a lie when her husband has a whole child!”

Katsuki didn’t even say anything, he just grabbed his coat and keys before storming out the office.

“Where are you going?!”

“I’m going home, from now on, don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t come near me. You’re ducking fired and I don’t want you near me OR (y/n) for the rest of your goddamn life- have the child or not but don’t come to me.”

And with that he left, slamming the door leaving Uraraka more then stunned and shocked. But what did she expect?

She had ruined something good…

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

He was going way over the speed limit but he didn’t care, all he cared about was getting home to you

“The number you have dialed cannot be reached, please try again..” His car spoke to him, he had constantly been trying to call you.

His heart sunk but he couldn’t do anything but just press on

Eventually, after what felt like a millennium, he finally made it home.

He didn’t even try to park right, he just pulled up and ran for the front door.

After quickly unlocking it, he entered and immediately noticed that the whole house was off.

Non of your music was playing in the background, the smell of your delicious food didn’t greet his nose, not even the background sound of your favorite show played on the living room tv…

It was just silence…

He slowly tipped around the house in search for you

“Baby? Where are you? (Y/n)?”

It wasn’t until he made his way to the bathroom, where he finally got his answer

His body stilled in horror as he saw you in a bloody stained tub fully undressed as if you were just taking a bath.

Your wrist oozing and pouring out crimson red as your eyes remained shut

He immediately rushed to your side, engulfing your body into his as he held you dear, your blood immediately staining his work suit

Tears automatically swelled in his eyes and he started to rock you back and fourth with his left while his right hand shook as he dialed 119

“Hello, 119 what’s the emergency..”

He knew he sounded like mush trying to explain everything at once while also being in shock and sorrow but he couldn’t help it…it was over.

Katsuki was your husband…

YOU wanted kids…

YOU trusted him…

YOU were supposed to be the only one to touch him…

YOU loved him so much…

But if another had woman already took everything that was supposed to be yours…

What was the point of staying anyway…

[always-andromeda]

my thoughts on velvet buzzsaw (2019)

non-spoiler section!!

Right off the bat I'm going to say that I was genuinely excited within the first ten minutes of starting this one. The setting is one that I'm fairly familiar with and the entire set-up is perfect for lots of commentary on the art world and commerce.

However, it was somewhat disappointing by the end. This movie is labelled as a horror movie? But I never found it particularly scary or even simply unsettling? While I still enjoyed watching it, the entire time I was thinking about how it could've been made into so much more. While it was entertaining, it was nothing incredibly special. Velvet Buzzsaw is a movie that tries very hard to say something meaningful but doesn't quite make it.

my final thoughts:

A solid 6/10 movie. I would recommend it if you lower your expectations; don't go into it expecting intelligent commentary or effective uses of horror. It's just a good goofy watch and Jake is wonderful in it.

Morf Vandewalt, my beloved 💗✨

❗️spoiler section under the cut❗️

Velvet Buzzsaw was a very conflicting watch for me. On one side, I liked the concept and the characters but hated the execution of it all. Each character is distinct and vividly played, which I think is vital for movies like these where basically everyone dies. But there's never really a clear purpose for these caricatures other than haha, art snobs are funny! Which, they are, don’t get me wrong. But like…that’s such a surface level thing to pick at?

I read an article from the director where he talked about his inspiration for the film. It seems that he went into the movie with the intent of showing how dangerous it can be to view art as more of a commodity than an expression of someone's soul. And that is a worthy subject to explore. The idea of the spirit of a tortured artist going after the people who strive to exploit his pain? Interesting. But the movie never really says anything profound about this. It just tells you, hey, this artist was fucked up!!!! Guess the art is just gonna murder people now lmao.

Any bits of actual horror is extremely underwhelming. For example, they say once that the artist literally mixed his own blood into the paintings? And they completely gloss over that and move on. EXCUSE ME, WHAT? THAT COULD BE SO HORRIFYING TO EXPLORE?? BUT THEN THEY DIDN’T. Even the death scenes…the only one that really resonated with me was Gretchen’s. But that’s only because of how people reacted to her body once she was found. The rest of the deaths are pretty underwhelming.

There’s so much that could’ve been done with this concept. Because the director is right! I think a modern art museum is such an interesting setting for a horror movie. There’s such an idea of art coming from pain and pain being profitable. Because humans love dissecting the human experience, the more gruesome the better, typically. And here you have all of these characters that get too wrapped up in commodifying art. None of the characters are allowed to grow from these failings. Which is fine in a normal slasher. But this movie acts as if it’s an elevated horror. It just seems very confused about whether it wants to be a goofy horror movie or something profound.

Now that I’ve gotten my complaining done, I’ll talk about my favorite parts. First and foremost being Jake Gyllenhaal. With all of my biases removed, this man put his entire ass into playing Morf and you can tell. He’s easily the best realized character and I am absolutely disappointed that he wasn’t allowed to make it through the movie. #JusticeForMorf

Honorable mentions: John Malkovitch as Piers, Toni Collette as Gretchen, and Zawe Ashton as Josephina. They absolutely understood the assignment and I loved their performances. I almost wish there was a little more of John Malkovitch specifically because his portrayal of Piers was so intriguing? He plays an aging artist who seems to be having trouble keeping up with the modern art scene and seeing how jaded he is in the face of the commercialism was so interesting and I wish there was more of it.

Overall…this was such a painfully mediocre watch? I was entertained enough, but I wish it had pushed the envelope. I wish this was a movie that earned the pretentiousness that it uses. Extra props, however, for giving me a brand new Jake Gyllenhaal character that I am in love with. ❤️🥰

[toricrypticice]

The Golden Scarred

CHAPTER ONE (Losing it all)

`Hunter sighs as he leans back on his bed, his whole body aching slightly. He groans slightly, putting his hands over his face. Rascal tweets concerned landing on the male’s knee. Hunter sighs annoyed as he looks down at the bird removing his hands. He tweets again. 

“No no he didn't    ...this time” he sighs “but even if he did it’d only be because i messed up” This only caused the palisman to tweet angrily pecking his leg. “Ow hey! Belos is just doing his best okay?” The bird just stares at him. “What?! He is!” he rolls his eyes standing causing Rascal to flitter up “Whatever i don’t have time for this i should be figuring out how i can help heal his curse.” he sits at his desk taking out some paper and a book out. Rascal steals his pencil flying into the air. Hunter scoffs in annoyance. “Tsk- Palisman “ he shakes his head in annoyance. 

Weeks later

Hunter pet the bird softly as he reads before there’s a knock at his door. He gasps and Rascal lets out a soft tweet. “Shhh” he warns quickly, putting his book over the Palisman to conceal it before he stands, opening the door for none other than kikimora. He frowns, leaning slightly to block the view of his desk. 

“Golden Guard, Emperor Belos has requested your presence “ Kiki glares. Everyone knew the emperor never ‘requested’ anyone, if you didn't go well let's just say you wouldn't have to worry about any future meetings with the emperor. Hunter nods. He lifts his cape draping it on, before sliding his mask over his face, closing the door and heading to meet with his uncle. He can’t help but notice Kikimora lingering near his room. He narrows his eyes but continues, turning the corner. Why was she staying at his room? This puzzled him slightly but he shook it off, probably just jealous that the Emperor wanted to see him instead of her. I mean, come on he was WAY more useful. But this was weird, he didn’t currently have any missions to go over with the ruler. Maybe he was getting a new assignment? Yeah... He takes a deep breath before knocking on the huge wooden door. 

“Come in”

The Emperor's voice booms and Hunter can feel his heart start to race lightly. He bites his lip as he pushes the door open, kneeling in front of the steps to his Uncle’s throne. The room felt cold. 

“You wanted to see me Emperor Belos” Hunter looks up at his uncle. His uncle was leaning on his hand breathing a bit heavily as his piercing blue eyes stared down at Hunter. 

“Hunter.” He starts his voice low sending chills “Have you had any luck finding more Palisman like I asked?” The menacing male's fingers tapped on the arm of his throne a bit too quickly, almost impatient. Hunter can feel the tension in the air and he gulps but stands to answer as usual. 

“No sir I have not but I am working to-” Hunter is interrupted by a loud growl causing him to stop short in terror. Emperor Belos morfs slightly, a sharp spike flying towards the other male. Hunter flinches but it was too late. He gasps loudly as the abomination goo slices through his mask, carving a bit deeply near his left eye. He lets a light hiss of pain which he knew would only anger the emperor further. He resists the urge to hold his face as he feels the warm blood drip down under his chipped mask, his eye already having issues staying open. He clenches his teeth, feeling pain seer his face as his heart pounds quickly. 

“DON'T LIE TO ME!” Belos roars standing.  Hunter gulps, putting his head down flinching back as he bows again. Not knowing what to say. Dont lie? But that means..! There was the sound of Belos snapping his fingers before the door opened, someone entering. There is a light sound of quick short steps. 

Kikimora.

Hunter knew the sound all too well. He raises his head slightly, his eyes widening at the sight. 

Smug Kikimora holding a Palisman. 

A Small Red Bird. 

His Palisman. 

Rascal.

She hands the staff to the emperor. Hunter can feel his blood run cold as Belos tightly grips it, continuing to keep his scalding glare on Hunter. Kikimora's smirk showed slightly under her shirt as she leaves without another word bowing to the emperor. As soon as the door closes Hunter can hear his heart thumping loudly or maybe that was just the titans. He gulps slightly. He knew it was forbidden. Wild Magic and now he had been caught. But worse.. Rascal had been caught. But maybe it was for the best he was only here to serve the titans will after all. 

“You Disappoint me so much Hunter and after everything I've done for you. After everything the titan has done for you.” His voice booms as he looms over the young male, his grip on the Palisman tightening. As Rascal lets out a pained noise Hunter stands instinctively. 

“Don't-!” Hunter shouts, reaching his hand out, his words stopping short as he realizes his mistake, his hand dropping quickly. He grits his teeth as he watches Belos carefully place the staff down looking back down at the male. Hunter seemed to shrink back feeling shaky and a bit dizzy, “I-I'm sorry I-I didn’t-” Before Hunter can explain himself Belos dissolves into the floor reappearing next to him. His eyes widen as he flinches back when Belos ambushes him. He moves to avoid the hit, putting his hand up as some sort of feeble defense; this results in the emperor's strike piercing his ribs instead of his intended spot. Hunter chokes out a strangled yelp of pain. He holds his side in grief as blood starts pooling out, staining his shirt already. He stares in shock at his uncle as he quickly moves back. 

Sure Belos hit him before, hurt him. But this was-

He..

..

Belos growls again, advancing towards the male. 

At this Rascal flies forward flashing a fire spell into the emperor's face. He growls enraged as he steps back shielding himself from the blast. Hunter reaches forward grabbing onto the staff quickly. Using the staff to teleport further back from the Emperor. “Please Uncle.” His voice was desperate. He coughs using his free hand to grip his side to stop the bleeding gritting his teeth to keep from wincing. 

“You shall regret siding against the titan!” He morphs worse, shooting forward fast. Hunter gasps moving both hands onto the staff shakily moving back and creating a shield just before Belos could land a hit. He gasps the shield faltering slightly as his vision blurs. 

“I AM DONE WITH THIS!” The Emperor's voice  came out garbled and wrong. Hunter's shield suddenly dropped no matter how hard he tried to bring it back and his eyes widened as Belos smirks. A spike hit into his left shoulder launching him back, his body slamming forcefully against the window. 

“Agh” Hunter’s head spun as his vision blurred again. He closes his eyes for a moment hearing a slight crack. He quickly opens his eyes again, his vision focusing enough to see the Emperor launching a bright light towards him with his staff.  Hunter screams loudly before slamming his fist down on the glass so he would fall through before it hits him. The window falls through almost exactly at the bright light explodes, launching him further back from the tower. His grip on Rascal loosens as he feels dizzy and tired, his vision blurring again as the ground approaches quickly. He can feel sleep start to take him as his vision goes dark. 

Rascal takes action quickly supporting the males body, flying upwards and fleeing the castle. The Palisman lands when they are a good while away hidden in the woods. He flies up and pecks at Hunter’s face gently trying to wake him. It was urgent that Hunter took care of his wounds and to took shelter. By the look of the clouds it'd be raining soon. Hunter groaned painfully, struggling but forcing his eyes open. He felt sick to his stomach and his whole body was hurting badly. He let out a breath gripping his side as he sat up a whimper leaving him. He starts to shakily stand having to use his staff for support his head swimming. He moves his free hand from clenching his side to covering his mouth as he gags from the amount of pain he was under.  He starts to limp looking for shelter for the night. The sky cracks overhead brightly before booming loudly.  He cowered slightly, his ears were still ringing from the explosion.  Hunter sniffs softly as he walks, tears starting to drop down his face stinging his eyes and burning the left side of his face.

“For titans sake” Hunter mumbles, agitated by this sudden emotion. He wasn’t supposed to be crying, he was the golden guard, he was to remain strong and yet he still couldn't believe everything that just happened. 

Did he- 

betray Belos?

He feels more tears start to well and he shakes his head he couldn’t think about that right now he needed to focus. Rascal chirps and Hunter couldn’t help but smile.

“At least you're safe “ He stops by the river, ripping his cape off, peeling his top letting out a slight hiss before coughing into his gloved hand. 

“Ugh dammit!” He growls, ripping the sleeves off his shirt once it was off. Rascal flitted around him tweeting with concern. “Shush bird” he grunts, dipping one of the sleeves into the water before he dabs his abdomen where the deep hole was. He lets out a gasp, followed by a sputtered howl of pain a few more tears falling. He shakes his head, instead he would just stop the bleeding yeah yeah that should be fine, he'll be okay. He stretches the dry sleeve before grabbing a nearby stick putting it between his teeth. Rascal lands by his feet chittering confused. Hunter wraps the cloth around his waist taking a deep shaky breath before suddenly securing it tightly over the gash. He lets out a strangled yowl, his teeth clenching down on the wood splitting it as he hunches forward tying it tight before he staggers slightly using his staff for support as he holds his side spitting out wood chips.  He gags coughing again, this time when he pulls his hand away from his mouth it is coated in crimson. 

“Fuck that’s not good” he mutters seeing black spots in his vision he shakes his head ignoring it. He slowly kneels by the river groaning slightly as he does so. He slowly shakily takes his mask off frowning at his reflection. Jeez he looked like hell. His hair was a mess, his whole left side of his face was sticky with blood. He winces at the slight dropping the mask, his hand immediately going to where Belos had stabbed. His face felt hot and throbbed instantly, stinging at the sensation. He pulls his hand away, wincing feeling tears build again. He was useless. He outlived his usefulness to Belos. He had no one. 

A loud Hiccup erupted from his throat startling him, he flinches when a droplet of water from above touches his leg. Ah boiling rain of course.   He dips his hands into the water below splashing his face wiping it with the wet sleeve wincing with a hiss. He puts on what was left of his shirt before wrapping his cape back around him, slipping his mask back over his face . He wobbles slightly letting out a slight hiss. His body was aching everywhere, every move he made agony, he just wanted to rest. “Come bird we need to find shelter. “

Rascal tweets landing on his shoulder as he starts to limp searching, if only he knew the area his vision was becoming a bit fuzzy. He pants slightly leaning on a tree. “Just give- *huff* me a m-moment” He coughs roughly. The sky crashed above again any second the boiling rain would come down he needed- 

He sees a nearby cave. YES. he breaks into a run just as the water starts to pool down he huffs sputtering once he reaches the cave coughing harshly as he falls to his knees. Rascal tweets softly and hunter lays on the cold cave ground “I know just i need a moment to rest” he confessed his eyes feeling heavy  “Im sorry” his voice was shaky as he felt his vision go blurry falling asleep. 

Hunter woke up after sleeping through almost all of the next day. He groans gasping as he sits up seeing he was in a dark cave. His head felt fuzzy but slowly he pieces together what happened. He frowns. “Right” He shakes his head standing carefully. Rascal twitters at this. “No no I'm not going back… not just yet i need- i need to prove my worth again” rascal seemed upset by this response. “Come on, I need to go into town and get some actual bandages.” He grabs his staff heading into Bonesborrow. He keeps his head down as he walks, feeling his heart racing badly. He shakes his head. He needed to calm down so he wouldn't be caught. No one could- he stops seeing a new coven poster. His shoulders start shaking

Wanted for treason against the emperor.

Reward one million snails.

Wanted Alive

The Golden Guard.

 A picture of Hunter

His eyes widen and he feels like he can't catch his breath.  He quickly rips the poster down looking around to make sure no one saw, he spots a booth with half off merchandise. He wanders over deciding to just focus his attention on something else for now. He picks up a half off basket seeing a black cloak,  he puts it in the basket. He then sees some cloth bandages, he puts those in the basket as well seeing a few more customers start to also notice the sale he waits until he notices the stand owner distracted before he breaks off into a run from the stand. 

After a few minutes of running he hears the shout of ‘thief!’ he had been expecting, he turns a corner hiding against the wall, he takes his cloak off putting the new black one on slipping the hood up. He stashes his old cloak in the basket panting, already feeling exhausted for the day. His body aches but he ignores the feeling heading back to his cave he almost nearly collapses when he gets back. Rascal tweets sadly 

“i know! but i had no choice i don't have anything” he snaps angrily taking the gauze out with a frown. He slowly takes his shirt off feeling his hand shakes “i can do this..” he felt shakier than yesterday. He unties the shirtsleeve he had used as a makeshift bandage he lets out a loud whimper as he peels it from his body. It was soaked in blood. He gulps feeling tears build as he holds back a gag as the slight of the gash which oozed and bled when he removed the clothe. He gulps clenching his teeth as he tightly starts to wrap his torso whimpering “ahh titan” he sniffs hacking loudly as he ties it off  before he gasps in pain “fuck t-that was worse than yesterday..” he mumbles holding his now bandaged wound. He lays down feeling dizzy from the exertion. Rascal tweets and Hunter shakes his head. “No i’ll take care of the rest later.” he mutters feeling tired but his eyes open slowly when his stomach growls loudly. When was the last time he had eaten? He couldn't remember. Rascal twitters again which causes Hunter to get agitated and a bit overwhelmed.

 “I know that! I don't have food! I don't have proper shelter! I have nothing!!” he yells as he sits up feeling so alone he shakes his head as Rascal flinches back. He frowns, feeling his stomach turn and he stands  “just-.. stay here i’ll go find food.” he mutters shakily leaving the cave. He sighs, he should have grabbed food in town then he wouldn’t have to go looking, what would he even find in the woods. Probably death. Plus he wished he hadn’t yelled at Rascal. He was just worried. Hunter frowns before he hears a snap of a twig. He gasps quickly diving into a nearby bush letting out slight hiss of pain before he peers out. 

Luz the human walking with a plate, a plate of… sandwiches. Oh god. Food!!  His stomach growls loudly again and he blushes darkly backing further into the bush. 

“Did you hear something Hooty?” Hunter watches as the human walks over to where a blanket was set up, a strange worm owl looking creature waiting for her. Hunter sticks out his tongue. What the heck is that? Hooty only hoots happily. 

“Luz you forgot the tea, don't worry I’ll get it! Hooty to the rescue!” he chants as he zooms away to which Luz gasps, putting the plate down and running after the demon. 

“No Hooty!! You know what happened last time.”  Hunter's eyes widened. Unguarded food. He doesn't even think as his legs pull him forward, he sprints over picking up one of the sandwiches he pushes his mask up eating hungrily scarfing it come grabbing another sandwich as he chews he stares at the plate tempted to take the last sandwich as well but he shakes his head running back away as he hears voices. Shit shit shit, he dives again into the nearby bush feeling his side flare with pain. He clenches his teeth staying completely still holding the sandwiches close to his chest as he pants quickly staring back at the blanket as the two return., “That’s weird I made three sandwiches? One for you, me and King.” She looked around the area and hunter ducks deeper feeling branches dig into him uncomfortably, but it was worth it for the sandwiches. He lets out a light sigh of relief as the human sits down before he slips from the bush running off unaware that Luz in all her confusion had spotted the male running off. Hunter runs back to the cave panting heavily before breaking out into a light laugh, Rascal looking at him confused

. “Ha I risked my life for sandwiches'” his laughing slowly started to turn to slight hiccups “how far I've fallen” he sniffs sliding down the cave wall. He pulls off a small piece off the sandwich as he sniffs crumbling a few pieces on the ground for rascal. Rascal chirps concerned flittering to his knee. “No just eat, I'm fine” he wipes his face, he couldn't afford to be weak. He takes one bite before putting the rest in his bag for later he didn't know when he would get food again 

[alecmagnuslwb]

Wreck My Plans, That’s My Man

Read on AO3

Zatanna settles down behind a long line of old white sheet covered furniture, she’s quiet and completely unseen since she arrived thanks to a bit of cloaking magic. Behind her a slick dressed pack of skin suited demons are gathered with hellhounds at their side. They’re meeting to discuss another apocalypse world domination attempt, because yeah they have meetings for those.

She’d caught wind of the gathering through a few of her more unsavory informants in the magic underworld and knew that she could put a quick easy stop to whatever apocalypse they were planning before it became an all out, Metropolis and Gotham both instantly on fire, heroes up type of affair.

She’d called around for some backup to no avail, but that’s okay. She can handle this on her own, the backup was just a worst case scenario situation, which considering how this pack of demons are at each other’s throats about which apocalyptic method works best there won’t be a worst case scenario tonight.

She’s more than strong enough to handle this on her own and she’s got a damn good, and damn simple plan to finish this up without the demons ever even knowing she was there. A couple quick and quiet spells, a big dramatic show of force and all these fools and their little dogs too will be sent back to hell where they crawled up from.

She loosens her black tie a bit and rolls her wrists before putting her hands to the ground already feeling the ever strong current of power at her fingertips begging to be let loose. She opens her mouth just about to let the first of her backwards words slip from her dark wine painted lips when she catches sight of him, trench coat flowing behind him as he makes his entrance. His completely unplanned entrance.

“Hey, there demons, it’s me ya boy,” Constantine announces loudly his accent booming across the empty space of this old abandoned house.

The demons and their hellhounds all turn their attention his way, standing up and taking fighting stances immediately.

“Shit,” she says under her breath dropping her head to her knees. Of course he shows up in this moment, of course he checks his voicemail for once, of course he’s here about to make this a whole mess it didn’t have to be because she had a plan.

They work together well, better than well on most days, but when he shows up unannounced and without warning it’s always bound to be a messier battle than it has to be. When this is over, she’s going to kill him.

Her quiet curse catches the attention of one of the hellhounds its head tilting her way as the others stay focused on John. And just like that any semblance of her plan going off without a hitch bursts into flames.

She moves into a crouch as soon as the hellhound charges towards her and drops the cloaking spell while placing a hand to the ground.

“Kcab ot ruoy hsilleh esuohgod dab yob,” she says and a crack in the ground starts to form beneath the creature’s feet. It loses it’s footing as the crack widens smoke and just a whiff of fire and brimstone curling around its feet and pulling it under with a loud yelp. She stands to her full height and now the rooms attention is on her.

“Hey, luv,” John says waving at her from across the room bright orange flames curling around his hands as he does. “Got your call.”

Zatanna grumbles focusing on the five demons and four hellhounds before her.

“So, I was gonna do this the easy way, but the hard way is the only option now it seems,” she says looking at them all with a smirk before gathering her power into her core lamenting internally how this could have been over and done with in mere moments.

She jumps over the back of the furniture to come face to face with the first of her opponents as John does the same on the other side of the room. Another one of the demons attacks her from the side bringing its hellhound along with nipping at her heels.

She shouts backwards magic sending waves of safe fire and bursts of knock outs their way as she glides on air literally. One of the demons flings her back, but she’s quick with her words creating a cushion on the wall that she bounces back from and lands on her feet with panther like grace using the spell that sent the first hellhound back to the doghouse once again. The demons watch in anger as their pups are pulled under.

She rushes them the magic literally sparking in her eyes. Out of the corner she catches John throwing flames at the three coming his way, two unconscious hellhounds laying at his feet.

“Don’t forget there’s still people in there, Constantine,” she shouts as she dodges a punch from one of hers and lands her elbow in his throat.

“I know, babe,” he says as he tumbles backwards taking a punch to the gut. She focuses back on her task at hand knocking the second demon down with a hard kick to the shin. She focuses her energy down and floats back up just out of their reach before gripping them both around the torso with magic and bringing them with her.

“Esaealer eseht snamuh dna og eht kcuf emoh,” she yells tightening her magic on them just enough. Their heads move violently back and forth and for a moment she’s scared that they’re going to go full Linda Blair, but just like that they settle, their mouths opening wide and the black essence of the demon floating up into the air and then down into the cracks still in the ground.

Black goo seeps from their eyes as she gently lays the humans on the floor, she checks their pulses assuring they’re alive and well, which they are, before turning her attention to John. He’s cornered by his three, a bruise already forming around his left eye.

The two hellhounds he’d knocked out stir, one lifting its head up blinking slowly and for a second it looks almost just like an actual dog. She shakes her head not letting herself be phased by thinking a hellhound looks kinda cute when it’s waking up and lifts her hands dragging the pair of pups over the cracks in the ground where they’re siblings have gone giving them the same treatment.

A burst of flames swish past her busting the window behind her which turns her attention back to John who’s literally hand to hand fighting three demons like it’s a bar brawl. She rolls her eyes heading his way as she calls her magic up to her fingers again wrapping it around the throats of two of the demons tight enough to get their attention, but not so tight she hurts the people these demons are borrowing and leaving John to the final one.

She yanks them back tossing them into the same cushioned wall she’d landed herself into before.

“Didn’t you hear what I said to your friends?” she says calmly, pinning them in place. “Kcuf ffo ot erehw ouy emac morf.” She does a complicated move with her hands as she says the words and watches as they convulse and exit through the cracks in the ground just like their friends had.

She walks over to check their pulses as well, breathing out a sigh of relief when she finds them, behind her she hears the familiar Latin words of a banishment spell falling from John’s lips followed by a scream and a thud as the body of the person the demon had taken over drops to the ground.

“Ouch,” John says as he stands and she turns watching him limp a little over to check the last one’s pulse. “This one’s alive,” he says as he shakes out his leg and comes to her side.

She sighs in relief as she says a small spell under her breath gently floating the five men to a nearby covered couch and laying them all on it. She walks over behind them waving her fingers over each of their heads.

“Ekaw htiw on seiromem fo tahw deneppah ot uoy, dna peels ysae for eht tser fo ruoy sthgin,” she whispers as sparkles of bright blue and purple magic fall onto them. She gestures around the room making empty bottles of liquor and crushed cans of beer appear to sell a story to them all when they awaken.

They all start to stir and Zatanna gestures towards the door indicating for her and John to leave, she’s satisfied they’ll be okay just a little groggy and believing they’d had a few too many in an empty house and lost track of everything. These guys will be confused enough even with her spell, the last thing they need is to wake up wondering who the beat up guy in the trench coat and eyeliner and the chick in fishnets are.

By the time they get on the sidewalk, she hears the sounds of ambulance sirens heading their way, likely one of the guys waking and calling for it first thing just in case.

Zatanna stops at a street corner waiting for John to catch up. She looks down at her maroon button up shirt and sighs when she spots a rip in it.

“Hctits siht pu,” she says waving her hand over the tear. She looks down at the rest of her outfit, her jacket and high waisted black shorts with the shiny silver lines running up the sides are all intact, but damn if there’s not a long tear in the side of her fishnets. Sometimes she thinks she should find out if there’s some sort of fishnet weekly delivery service with the way she goes through them. She should definitely at least buy stock in the fishnet stocking industry if nothing else.

“Good thing I showed up for backup huh,” John says when he reaches her. He’s already reaching into his pocket for his cigarettes, his black nail polish is chipped, there’s a cut on his cheek and the bruise under his eye is blooming even brighter already.

She scoffs, knowing the whole thing would have resulted in zero injuries and ripped shirts if she’d just gotten to do her own plan.

“The one time you check your voicemail, the one time!” Zatanna shouts frustrated.

“I check my voicemail all the time,” John defends, knowing he’s an absolute liar.

“Bullshit, you either answer on the first ring or pop up in my bedroom a week later with demons on your tail, you have no in between,” she huffs stomping off away from him.

She’s not necessarily too tired to make a portal home to her apartment, but frankly Zee needs the air to feel a little less like killing John. She couldn’t just have an unreliable boyfriend who doesn’t show up. She knows that sounds insane, but it’s where she’s at in the moment.

“I had a plan, John, a foolproof plan, in and out in five minutes tops, not a scratch,” she says walking just fast enough he can’t quite catch up to her.

“You needed help,” he argues trailing behind her. She hears the flicking of a lighter as he talks.

“I needed backup, just in case, quiet backup to be on my side if needed. You didn’t answer so I figured out a plan that didn’t require backup. You pulling up shouting ‘it’s me ya boy’ did not help that plan,” she huffs and picks up her pace a little more. John grumbles and sighs in defeat trailing behind her quietly smoking.

He knows her well enough to not try and argue right now which she appreciates.

***

Nearly thirty minutes later they’re walking down the street headed towards Zatanna’s apartment, an apartment he’s hoping he’s going to be allowed to enter with how annoyed she is with him in the moment.

They’re walking in total silence that doesn’t necessarily feel awkward but there’s definitely tension in the air. Zatanna slows a bit as she comes closer and closer to her place, he’ll never cease to be amazed at how those chunky heels she favors don’t slow her down more often. She pauses in front of a store leaning her hand out on the window as she lifts a leg and twists her ankle around in relief. She gives the same treatment to her other foot before glancing up and catching John’s eye in the reflection of the glass.

“Zee are you still mad?” John asks hesitantly stepping up behind her.

“Do you think that voodoo doll looks enough like you to work?” she says without missing a beat gesturing towards the small blonde voodoo doll in the occult shop window she’s stopped in front of. He’d laugh at the joke if he wasn’t also a little bit scared. He loves a very powerful woman who’s kind and gentle, but also doesn’t mess around. Just ask the hellhounds and demons from tonight.

“Look, I’m sorry alright, truly,” he says squeezing his way between her and the glass. “I didn’t mean to mess up your plan, not that I knew you had one.”

She gives him a warning look and he backtracks.

“Not that that is any way the point,” he says with an apologetic smile and her face softens just a bit. “I’m sorry that I made a scene and didn’t just support whatever you had planned, that’s on me.”

Zatanna takes a deep breath releasing it slowly before biting her lip in thought. He holds back the smile he wants to let out, knowing that look is the look of her just about to forgive him. She huffs taking her hands out of the pockets of her leather jacket and reaches out her fingers trailing along the cut of his jaw. She whispers a few words under her breath as he feels the tingles of her magic, comfortable and familiar, crawl across his skin. He feels his cut stitch itself together and the ache of his bruise disappearing.

“You’re forgiven I suppose,” she says dropping her hand when her work is done and sighs tossing the long French braid her hair is in over her shoulder. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t cause a scene every now and again.” He smirks reaching out and cupping her face in his hands. He places a light kiss on her nose that she scrunches her face up at, but smiles just a bit.

“You love that about me,” he says with a chuckle.

Zatanna rolls her eyes, “The show woman in me occasionally enjoys your ability to cause theatrics, I wouldn’t necessarily call that love for it though.”

“Me thinks, the lady doth protest too much,” he says and Zatanna groans.

“Okay, that’s enough of that, let’s go home,” she says stepping away from him. She threads their fingers together this time and pulls him along. “I need a long hot bath and if you keep groveling a bit more I might just let you join.”

John perks up at that. Just a few steps after that they stop as they reach the front door of her building and she uses her magic to unlock it her keys lost a long time ago.

“Oh I can grovel, I can get on my knees and everything if you like,” he says wiggling his eyebrows as she looks to the side at him.

“I hope that’s a promise,” she says with a smirk of her own winking at him as she pulls him along up the stairs.

He practically falls over as they tumble up the stairs and somewhere in the back of his mind though he doesn’t have a clue why he deserves it he knows she’ll happily let him ruin every plan she makes as long as he shows up eventually, and as long as he grovels just the right amount afterwards. He’s happy to do just that.

[linguenuvolose]

Any suggestions for improving Italian accent/pronunciation?

First off: remember that your accent is cute no matter what and that it tells people something about you. It’s totally valid wanting to “pass as a native” but it doesn’t have to be your goal. (But there’s also a difference between having an accent and not pronouncing things correctly)

I don’t really remember what I did personally to improve my pronunciation but I’ll try giving some general advice. 

The earlier you start working on the accent, the better. Learning the alphabet and the pronunciation of different letters/letter combinations should be something you do early on. I think the sounds I still do that make me sound Swedish will always be a part of my accent. Like, I’m C1 and as we say in Swedish: you can’t teach an old dog to sit = it’s hard to change habits you have already established. I literally didn’t know s was supposed to be pronounced like /z/ between vowels until my first year of uni and now it’s just not something I do (I think? I’m very bad at assessing my own accent but it’s also generally known that Swedes have a hard time differentiating /s/ and /z/ because /z/ isn’t a sound in Swedish).

Work with IPA if you know it. Or at least try to avoid translitterations in your own language’s spelling system. (I will never be the same since seeing this book where Swedish is spelled according to French orthography). I do think it can be useful to compare the sound system of Italian to that of your native language but approximations can only get you so far. Try to circle in the slight differences and work on those.

Ask native speakers for help. I think it could be helpful to work with a tutor/teacher early on and get them to help you make sure you pronounce things correctly. Be sure to make it clear from the beginning that that’s what you want from them though, different teachers will have different things they are most comfortable teaching (and just because they’re a native doesn’t mean they will know how to explain how to make a certain sound, sometimes an advanced learner might actually be a better option).

Use pronunciation sites. Sites like forvo and different online dictionaries are really helpful if you come across specific words you don’t know how to pronounce.

Mirroring. I’ve only done this like once but mirroring is when you listen to some type of audio (a movie/podcast/youtube video etc) and repeat what is said. Stop after every sentence and repeat it as closely as you can in terms of tone of voice, emphasis etc. This will help you with the flow of the language. It does take quite some time though so make sure the audio you’re using is not too long (or like, you don’t have to use this technique for the whole thing, I think it’s the most fun when you get different emotions so it’s a bit more varied).

Practice, practice, practice! Speaking a foreign language is a muscle and the more you practice the better you get. Recently I’ve realized there’s a big difference between just talking to yourself and actually talking to other people and I think you’d get the best results if you do a mix of both. I constantly talk to myself in Italian and I think that’s good because it has made my mouth used to making those sounds but I’d definitely benefit from talking to other people more too.

It takes time. And a lot of times you won’t immediately see the difference but trust me, you are making progress. I think it’s really motivating to record yourself speaking Italian because you’ll be able to hear the difference as time goes by. As I said, I’m pretty bad at hearing the Swedish in my own accent (I know it’s there but I don’t personally hear it most of the time) but it’s so cool to like hear the change in my Italian between this video (January 2018) and this video (June 2020). Especially my o is much better now I think, but also my flow is much smoother, and these are not things I’ve specifically worked on. Sometimes when I hear myself speak Italian I’m like ouf that sounded so Swedish but I know people will understand me and like, with time I think these things will slowly morf and become more Italian sounding. 

I hope this was somewhat helpful. As you might have understood I don’t really work actively on my pronunciation (in any language) but I think just using the language will help you a lot. In bocca al lupo!

[keiths3dart]

Max in the Black Lodge: A Life is Strange / Twin Peaks Crossover.

Part 2

Chloe headed through a gap in the trees, panning her flashlight to either side rather than in front of her. It was this that led to her literally walking straight into the man she had completely failed to notice. Chloe's heart froze and her blood ran like ice. Who the fuck could she have run into in the middle of the woods at night other than Max?

Regaining some measure of composure, she pushed herself away from the man, and brought her flashlight to bear on him. The sharp weathered features of a well built, grey haired native american in a Sheriff's department uniform were illuminated.

The man winced as the beam from Chloe's flashlight dazzled him. He put his hand on Chloes and gently but inexorably lowered the light beam from his face. His companion approached, a younger man but still with hair peppered with gray. He too wore the uniform of the Twin Peaks Sheriff's department. It was he who spoke first;

"Hey Hawk, have we found them?".

"I think so Bobby, according to the descriptions i got from Margaret i think this is Chloe"

"What about the other one? Max?".

"We got seperated, have you seen her?" Chloe blurted out, her head swimming. What were the cops doing out here? Why were they looking for them in particular? and how had they managed to find each other in an enormous forest which stretched all the way into Canada?

The older man, deputy Hawk looked concerned. "when did you become separated?" he asked.

Chloe had to think, she and Max had stuck together for most of the hike up into the hills but as the darkness set in, they'd taken slightly different paths around obstacles and before they had known it, they were no longer in sight of each other. It had almost been like the forest itself had gently and insidiously prised them apart and set them on divergent paths.

"I don't know" she stammered, and it was true, when it came down to it she had no idea how long she and Max had been wandering the woods separately.

Hawk looked at her kindly, an experienced woodsman as well as having a lifelong experience of Twin Peaks and its surroundings gave him an understanding of how strange things could get out here in the woods, especially for the unprepared or unwary. He was just glad that he and Bobby had found the first of the two girls without any harm coming to them.

"Bobby, get onto base and let them know we've located Chloe and she's ok. We're gonna continue on to find Max. And Bobby, make sure Lucy gives Margaret a call".

"Right away Hawk" Deputy Bobby Briggs answered and thumbed the transmit key on his radio.

"We took a call from Margaret, the woman you met in the Diner earlier".

"The one with the Log?".

"Lucy, it's Bobby, are you receiving? over".

"Yes, she told us she'd relayed a message to you and that you'd run off into the woods".

"We've located one of the girls, Chloe".

"Later, her log felt that there was something seriously amiss so she called us at the Sheriff's department".

"Yes, that's the one".

"So me and Bobby came to find you, there are hidden darknesses to this place".

"Yeah, this forest has been giving me the creeps for hours".

"No Lucy, i don't think she's a natural blue".

Bobby had raised his eyes to the heavens in exasperation.

"Im worried about Max, what have we got ourselves into?".

"Lucy, just put it on the damn form as 'Dyed', Tell Harry we're proceeding onwards, and get poor Margaret on the horn and let her know what's going on".

"A lot of things happened here a few years ago Chloe, We need to press on but i'll explain as we go."

Deputy Hawk motioned for Chloe to follow him and he began to tell Chloe about the strange history of Twin Peaks. Bobby followed silently to the rear. He had been a high school senior through the entire episode and it had been a tumultuous and traumatic time for him which he didn't feel like contributing to. He was lost in his own thoughts, heading he knew for the very place his own father Air Force Major Garland Briggs had disappeared from never to be seen again.

So Chloe learned that night about this strange town, about Laura Palmer's murder by her father Leland, Leland's own death, the investigations by FBI Agent Dale Cooper, Dale Cooper's own disappearance, reappearance, disappearance again. About Wyndam Earle, about The Black Lodge and "Bob".

Christ and she'd thought Arcadia Bay was fucked up. Why had Rachel and Frank come to this place? (Apart from Norma Jennings' heavenly Cherry Pie) and why had Rachel disappeared again? On top of it all, where was Max? Please God let her be safe, Chloe couldn't even bear to picture being alone again.

The room was neither cold nor warm, and the sounds of soft Jazz permeated the air, the hypnotic shuffle beat having an almost soporific effect on Max. She looked around to take in her surroundings. A second ago she'd been in the woods at night freezing her nipples off in the autumnal chill of North Washington State and now she was.... Well now she was sure she was tripping, she was in a room. The tiled floor was an eye bending zigzag pattern of black and white and the entire space was ringed with heavy crimson drapes. There were few furnishings. 4 easy chairs, a statue and a small table with a bowl in it.

If it had just been the surroundings and the circumstances, then Max might have been able to not freak out. But it was the fact that the room was not empty that made her wonder why she felt so fucking calm. Why everything seemed to happen slowly and calmly and in silence. An almost cloying serenity when her very soul should be clawing at the back of her head before making a bolt for the nearest exit.

Sitting in the chair in front of her, in a dapper red velvet suit was the oddest little man Max had ever seen, his head swaying in time to the music. To his right sat Rachel Amber, silent and unreacting to Max's presence. She simply sat, a benignly neutral expression on her face, looking over at the occupant of the chair opposite to her, on the dwarf's left.

Mark Jefferson.

Similarly oblivious to Max's arrival, he sat looking over at Rachel and Max's stomach churned with hatred for that despicable man, what he'd done to her in the dark room, what he'd done to Kate and those other poor girls he'd groomed then drugged. And how he'd manipulated Nathan into trying the same thing with Rachel with (Prior to Max's temporal intervention) fatal consequences for them both. How he'd killed Chloe, and Nathan, and Victoria and driven Kate to take her own life. But still Max felt like a puppet in somebody else's show. she still stood there just taking this bizarre scene in. The little man began rubbing his hands.

And laughed, the sound strangely distorted, almost reversed in sound, like the backing to one of The Beatles' more psychedelic studio explorations.

"S'TEL KCOR" The little man clapped his hands once.

"I EVAH DOOG SWEN! TAHT MUG UOY EKIL SI GNIOG OT EMOC KCAB NI ELYTS". He motioned his head towards Rachel.

"S'EHS YM NISUOC, TUB T'NSEOD EHS KOOL TSOMLA YLTCAXE EKIL LEHCAR REBMA?".

Max spoke for the first time since her arrival.

"But it is Rachel Amber. Are you Rachel Amber?"

"I LEEF EKIL I WONK REH, TUB SEMITEMOS YM SMRA DNEB KCAB". Rachel appeared pained as she said this.

"S'EHS DELLIF HTIW STERCES, EREHW ER'EW MORF EHT SDRIB GNIS A YTTERP GNOS, DNA S'EREHT SYAWLA CISUM NI EHT RIA".

The little man sprang from his chair as the music in the room began to not so much get louder but simply permeate Max's consciousness more and began to dance. Backwards. Max became lost and hypnotised by the scene, losing all track of time or reality.

Chloe's chest felt like it was on fire, the two policemen were setting a brisk pace through the woods, Hawk darting his eyes this way and that before deciding on a course. Like a hunter on the scent. Bobby had taken up station towards the rear.

"Christ, i'm hella unfit, i really should quit smoking".

"Just a little further Chloe, i think we are close. can you feel it in the air? like static electricity".

"Hawk" Bobby called out sharply, "is that a light off to the left?".

"Max!" Chloe called out as Hawk veered off to the left to investigate the light. No answer. Not even the hooting of the owls. Their damned racket had been driving Chloe nuts but now she missed their reassuringly natural presence. The watchful, expectant silence of the woods worked on her anxiety like a violent catalyst causing it to well up inside her like a tsunami choking, smothering, cloying and overwhelming. She staggered, her head reeling with every conceivable fear her subconscious could throw in front of her eyes. The strong arms of Officer Briggs caught her before she could topple over completely and Chloe allowed herself to be gently guided forward into the little sycamore ringed clearing Hawk had led them to.

The little clearing with the smouldering campfire. Max's discarded flashlight, still on. Max's bag.

But no Max.

[hopewrld2]

Sweater Weather - KNJ

Summary: One cold winter day with you is all it takes for Namjoon to realize what he’s been missing in his life.

Genre: Fluff

Paring: Namjoon x Female Reader

Warnings: No real warnings...just soft soft softttt namjoon :) complete boyfriend material

Word Count: 2,876

A/N: welcome to my first ever fluff fanfiction :) i thought it was only fair to start with the first name in the fanchant

A breeze swept across the smooth skin of your legs, goosebumps forming immediately in contact. The crinkle of the sheets could be heard underneath you as you rolled over, trying to ignore the cold air.

“Why is it so cold?” You mumble to yourself while cracking open your eyes.

Squinting, you rub the sleep out your eyes, waiting for your eyes to adjust so you could find the source of the breeze.

To your right, you find the sliding door open that leads out to your back porch open. You can’t help it as confusion morfs into your soft features.

When did I leave the door open?

The harsh sound of your ringtone interrupted your thoughts immediately.

“Hello?” You groggily answered, the sound of sleep evident on your tone.

“Hey Y/N...” The voice on the other side of the phone laughed lightly, “Did you just wake up?”

You tried to comprehend what he said as your eyes fight to stay open, “Mhm, totally...”

Another muffled laugh protruded from the phone, “What time did you get up?” He questioned.

Your eyes started to get droopy again, and you nod your head, no longer able to comprehend what’s being said on the other side of the phone, “Mhm...” You answer again.

“Isn’t Namjoon the hottest guy you’ve ever seen?” He asks you, smirk evident in his voice.

“Mhm....” You answer once again as your back touches the covers again.

“Yup,” He says, popping the p, “I agree.”

You don’t respond, your breathing starting to even out from you drifting back to sleep.

“Y/N?” He questions, “Can I come over?”

“Mhm Namjoon.”

A breathy laugh comes from the other side of the phone, and something was mumbled that you couldn’t hear, “I’ll be over in half an hour.”

He doesn’t wait for you to respond. The line goes dead the same time you roll back over, pulling the covers back over your head to drown out the cold..

“Y/N?” A questioning voice comes from your dream, something slightly shaking you, “Come on.”

You stir slightly, not awaking as the shaking on your shoulder seems to get harsher. A large weight is place on top of you, sending your eyes flying open and a loud groan leaving your lips.

“What the-“ You start, before realizing what’s on top of you, “Namjoonnn” You groan, swatting his shoulder.

He ignores your swatting and continues to lay on you, turning to face you as he motions to the door, “It’s winter Y/N...why is your door open?”

“I was going to close it-“ You say, throwing a sideways glare to Joonie, “-But someone — not saying any names— called me and interrupted.”

He laughed lightly, “You were barely awake enough to answer me fully, we both knew you were going to stare at it for a little bit and then go right back to sleep.”

You give him a pointed look, “Like you wouldn’t have done the same thing.”

Namjoon raised his hands up in mock surrender, “I didn’t say I wouldn’t have.”

You groan and try to turn back over despite the weight on your back. Before you can make it he grabs your shoulders and turns you back over, “Time to get up sunshine.”

Mumbling out a ‘no’ you try to swat his hands away from his shoulder, but unfortunately this man is almost 2 times your size.

“You’re squishing me Joonie,” You point out, hoping that saying this will get the man off your small frame.

He begins to poke your cheeks, “If you were getting up right now that wouldn’t be a problem now would it?”

You roll your eyes, giving him a pointed glare before sighing, “I regret giving you that key.”

He finally gets off you, reaching out for your hand so he can help you up.

You can’t help but blush a bit as you take his hands. No matter how many years you have been friends with him, he’s always been boyfriend material but unfortunately, he’s never going to feel the same way about you.

“You okay there sunshine?” He looks at you, concern evident on his face, “I think you’re too cold. Your cheeks are turning red.”

He reaches forward and touches your cheeks with the back of his hand. The rough texture of his calloused fingers making your heart jump and your cheeks warm even more.

You mentally facepalm at how oblivious he is. Apparently 148 IQ mean nothing when it comes to relationships with him.

Swatting his hand away, you sit up and stretch, “I’m going to go change. What do you want to do today?” You ask him, cocking your head to the side slightly.

“Ice cream?” He suggests, you sent a sour look his way.

“It’s much too cold for that Joonie.”

He feigns hurt, “It’s never too cold for ice cream.”

Rolling your eyes, your search through your closet for something to wear.

“Do you have any other suggestions?” He calls out to you from your bed.

“Umm...” You stop searching to thing for a second, “Something not ice cream?”

His chest laugh warms your heart as you hear it, “Something not ice cream...? Very descriptive.”

You can’t help but giggle as well, “I don’t know Joonie.”

A thought suddenly hits you, “Oh my goodness!” You exclaim.

“What?” He questions, getting up to check on you in the closet.

Your small figure bounces around in a cute way as you get excited, “Hot chocolate and ice skating!”

He matches your smile, his dimples showing, “That sounds really fun, but what are we going to eat for breakfast?”

You giggle lightly, “I love your priorities Joon.”

He shrugs, smiling, “Well you gotta know what’s important.”

You continue your search for something to wear, your closet, which mainly consists of summer clothes, gives you no choices, especially for this water.

Namjoon starts to get impatient, so he begins to help you look.

“This is nice.” He turns to you holding a brown sweater, “Why not just wear this?”

You cock your head to the side, surveying the thick material.

“I mean...” You stop yourself from saying anything else, knowing he would scold you if you brought up the fact that you need to lose weight to look good in it, “...sure.”

“Perfect,” He flashes you another dimply smile, “Now food.”

You motion for him to get out while you change. The sweater feels soft and comfortable around your arms, one of the few ones that you own that aren’t scratchy at all. You pair it with some simple black skinny jeans and tie your hair up in a bun.

You step out of the closet, not noticing the look the Namjoon gives you.

“Joonie have you seen my glasses?” You ask him, “I don’t feel like putting in contact today.”

He doesn’t answer, and you look up at him, “Joonie?”

He seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in and looks at you with wide eyes, “What did you say?”

You roll your eyes, giving him a small smile, “I asked if you had seen my glasses.”

“Oh,” Namjoon glances around, looking for them too. Finally laying his eyes on them he points towards your dresser, “There.”

You mumble a quick ‘thank you’ as you put them on your face, sqinting your eyes as they adjust to your new found vision.

“You know the eyes doctor told you to wear either your glasses or contacts all the time right?”

You send him a pointed glare, “Yes I know Namjoon. I just forget sometimes.”

He sent you a glare back, “No,” he challenges, “You said that you don’t like the way you look in them, but I told you differently.”

“Unfortunately Namjoon, simple words cannot change the way I feel.”

He seemed to deflate at your words and you questioned yourself on the inside.

Did I say something wrong?

He seems to recover quickly and brushes it off, “Now food?”

You brush off your concerns as well, “Yea sure, I’ll make waffles.”

He seems to perk up at your suggestion, putting his hand on the small of your back to guide you to the kitchen, immediately sending butterflies to your stomach that you’ve gotten good at brushing off.

Namjoon moved towards the pantry to get the supplies out for you - which consisted mainly of box mix and syrup - telling you to keep it simple knowing your habit for having to make everything from scratch. He started to grab a apron for himself, his favorite light brown one that matches your sweater perfectly. You couldn’t help but laugh at him, the apron much too big in his large frame.

“Hey!” He pushed you lightly, “Stop laughing at me.”

You try to sober up and look away, “I’m sorry Joon-” You stifle a giggle, “-But you know that’s much too small for you....and you can’t cook.”

He slapped a hand over his heart, feigning hurt, “Ouch sunshine...how could you?”

“You know I told you that you could never cook in my kitchen again after you burnt my pan with water.”

“That was one time y/n.”

You laughed, throwing your hands up, “One time too many.”

He watched you carefully, admiring the way your face lit up as you laughed and smiled at him.

He pouted slightly, distracting you from his oringial staring, “I just want to feel included while you cook.”

You cupped his cheek with your hand, looking him in the eyes, “Of course Namjoon. Just out of my kitchen.”

He stood in his place, obviosly challenging your previous statement. You raised an eyebrow, while crossing your arms.

He knew you weren’t going to really kick him out of the kitchen, but your stubborn nature wouldn’t let you say he could stay.

“Do you want food or not?” You asked, knowing that it would crumble his position.

“Dang woman, we’re going into that territory?” He sighed exasperatly, “Fineee I’ll be on the line separating the dining room from the kitchen.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his persistence but you covered it up with another roll of your eyes, “Yea yea whatever Joonie, just let me cook in peace.”

The truth was, you couldn’t focus is he was breathing over you shoulder the whole time. His pinewood scent, and constant questioning with his soothing voice made you crazy, and that was something that was 100% not needed when you’re handling hot items.

The waffles got done in record time, halfway because you didn’t have an distractions and the other half is the fact that you were incredibly excited to go ice skating, since you hadn’t gone since you were a kid.

The first bite had both you and Namjoon in heaven, the crispy exterior with the soft and fluffy insides made you want to melt into a puddle in the floor.

Since Namjoon wouldn’t let you make the waffles from scratch, you decided to add on some personal touches. The syrup dripping perfectly off the sides, fresh fruit arranged on top in a layered fashion, all topped off with some whipping cream sprinkled with cinnamon.

Although Joon won’t tell you, he loves the way you add creativity in to any part of life, especially food. Your ability to spruce up even the most torn down things led him to believe you were as important to this world as the sunshine is. Sunshine gives life to everything on earth - through cycles or directly - and he therefore declared that you were his sunshine. His life in his life, although he had never told you why he called you sunshine, the nickname was a bit weird at first without knowing the meaning, but eventually you got used to it, and it was just his and your thing.

Namjoon had stopped responding a minute ago, and letting curiosity take you over; you glanced up to find out why he wasn’t talking. Immediately, his eyes met yours. He was looking at you like he was scared you weren’t real, like you would disappear right before his eyes. You were about to question it when he interrupted your plan.

“Ready for ice skating?” He asked you, voice light and convincing as he made you forget what you were planning to ask.

You nodded eagerly, immediately perking up at the thought of trying to ice skate again.

It was no secret that Namjoon could ice skate, He could do it probably 100 times better than you, but that didn’t stop you from trying.

Every fall being accompanied by a chesty laugh from Namjoon. Even though you were rubbing your butt every five seconds, seeing him this happy made you smile too. The way he looked at you when he saw your face light up with a giggle was incredible, so much love and admiration just from his piercing gaze.

His large hand surrounding your sweater paw trying to keep you stable would’ve looked like a mark of relationship to anyone on the outside, but unfortunately you knew it would never be like that. Namjoon just didn’t feel the same way.

“Hey?” You felt a small poke on your cheek as you glanced up at Joon, “You zoned out for a second.”

He looked relatively concerned, mostly at the fact that you’ve zoned out more times then he could count just in the hour. You had a habit of keeping feelings bottled up which caused you to explode in a messy manner in which he didn’t want to see - not that you would let him anyways.

You shook your head lightly, sending a grateful smile his way, “I’m fine Joonie.”

You reached up to smooth the crease on his forehead from heavy thinking, “If you keep looking that concerned, you’ll age early.”

He rolls his eyes, trying to hide his smile, “You’re really at taking the attention off of you.”

You shake your head, mostly to yourself.

He turned his head to the side observing you, “Your cheeks are turning red again, do you want to go ahead and move to the hot chocolate faze?”

A bright smile lights up your face, “Yes please!”

You guys go to your usually coffee place, although it’s your tea place because you can’t stand coffee. The line isn’t out the door as usual and it’s not long until you guys order.

“Two hot chocolate’s, one caramel macchiato, and one green tea.”

You give him a questioning look. You two only order that much when you plan to stay for a long time. Pulling on his sleeve, you whisper your question to him but he doesn’t respond, just grabs your hand and walks you to the table.

“Are we planning on staying long?” You question, “I don’t think my sweater is thick enough to keep me warm for all this time.”

He have you a soft look, “You can just use my jacket if you get cold.”

“Is everything okay?” You ask him, noticing the tension in his shoulder.

He shrugs and just mumbles out a ‘depends’

Reaching across the table, you grab his hand stroking it lightly, “You know you can tell me anything right? That’s what I’m here for as your friend.”

The word ‘friend’ rolled off your tongue uncomfortably, leaving a bitter taste behind. You continuously had to remind yourself that’s all you guys are friends.

He opened his mouth to respond, when the server came and gave you guys your orders. You both mumbled o it a quick ‘thank you’ before returning your attention back on each other.

You raised a questioning eyebrow as you waited for him to speak. Instead of words you got a bitter laugh, “friends” he spat.

You couldn’t help as the confusion warped your face, “What?”

“You always say friends,” He clarified, “And it kills me.”

“What do you mean?” Your voice came out smaller than intended, praying this wasn’t the moment when he told you that he didn’t want to be friends with you anymore.

He stared at you for a beat, and then sighed softly cupping your small hands in his own.

“Look y/n, sunshine. I don’t know how you’ve missed this, but I love you.”

The L word floated in the air for a moment until you spoke, “I love you too Joonie, you know that.”

He laughed lightly, “Not that type of love Y/N. I love you as more than a friend. The way you scrunch your nose whenever you laugh too hard, the way you flap around your arms when you have something oversized on. The way you smile whenever you see me, the way you put so much effort into even the smallest things. How fricking stubborn you are, and how headstrong. But also how much you care about people, even before yourself. I love everything about you sunshine.”

You couldn’t help but smile wide, grabbing his hands tighter, “I love you too Namjoon, I have for years now.”

He shook his head smiling wide, “I don’t know how I’ve been missing you in my life sunshine.”

You smiled wide as you let go of his hand to drink your hot chocolate, letting the warmth seep through your bones at the same time the big question was asked...

“Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?”

[pinkrae]

Can’t fake love || Chapter 10

The loss

--- Previous

A/N: This is the first time ever that I have to use this, but… Trigger warning: death. So yeah.

------

“Give it up already! You know you can’t win!” 

“When have you ever seen us give up, Raven?” Robin gave her a sly grin and pointed his sword at her. “Why don’t you come down here and fight? Are you afraid to lose against me?”

He mocked her, doing his best to have her attention on him and the rest of the Titans on the battlefield while Zatanna had sneaked up behind her to try and close the portal where more and more demons kept coming out from. It wasn’t an easy task to have her go undetected, so they had been at it for a while now. They were getting tired, but far from willing to give up. 

At the call out, Raven frowned and stood from her throne. “I am more powerful than you all combined, I’m not”-- But her sentence was cut short when she suddenly noticed her portal getting closed. “What?!” Enraged and surprised, she turned around and saw Zatanna down there who got instantly ambushed by the demons residing right next to the now closed portal.

“That’s it, no more playing around,” her four glowing eyes glared down at the Titans, “it’s time to get serious,” She spoke and her feet lifted from the ground, slowly levitating up as she continued. “If you think that this was the only portal I had set up, then you are sorely mistaken. What do you think I’ve been doing for the past few days?” She laughed. “I want the world to burn and it shall. This was my father’s wish. And I am here to bring forth his destiny!”

And with that she closed her eyes and reached her hands up to her forehead, making the red gem hover in between her palms. Slowly extending her arms forward, she chanted for the release of Trigon.

“S-she’s summoning her father..!” Beast Boy exclaimed in shock.

“Again?!” Blue Beetle threw his hands up in the air. “We barely got rid of the guy the last time already!”

“Which means we have to stop her before she gets to that,” Robin concluded and turned to Zatanna. “Zatanna! Teleport me up there!”

“To Raven?” The magician asked in a bit of confusion and looked up to where Raven was.

“Robin, what are you saying? The fall might kill you, I’ll go!” Starfire protested as she fought off some demons that still kept coming at them. 

While he understood that Starfire had a point, he knew that it had to be him. He had weighed all options well before and he’d come to the conclusion that she wouldn’t do what needed to be done because it was Raven. She would try to find another way. A better way. But there was none. He knew this. That’s why he was the one that needed to do this.

“This isn’t up for debate, Starfire!” Robin snapped back. “Zatanna!”

“Very well,” she sighed and extended her arms, one towards Robin and one up to Raven. “Nepo a rood morf niboR ot nevaR!”

A portal opened next to Robin and one right above Raven, which she noticed just a second too late because he had already lunged at her, his sword drawn to her neck. Avoiding a direct hit, she grabbed his arms to hold them in place, losing her magical grip on the gem letting it fall to the ground along with the two of them.

“You don’t have the guts, Damian.”

“I’m a keeper of my word, Raven.”

“But you care too much,” she grinned. “I can sense all your feelings, remember? Even the ones you try to keep hidden away. Even now, you think you can save me.”

“Maybe I can,” he frowned.

“Wrong,” Raven nearly growled and suddenly stopped herself from falling by composing herself and flying, while he kept lunging towards the ground. “You can’t save me!” She yelled out and her magic force wrapped around his foot, seemingly to prevent him from hitting the ground, only to swing him around and throwing him against the concrete with brute force.

“Robin!” Wonder Girl gasped and flew towards Raven ready for an attack, but she easily deflected it and threw the Amazon several feet away as well. 

“Raven, you have to stop this!” Beast Boy yelled and made his way towards her as well, but not to attack. Somehow he still believed he could talk her out of it. They were friends, after all. They all were. It had to mean something, right?

“I don’t have to do shit,” she snapped back at him, but let him get closer as her feet touched the ground once again, her eyes sharply focused on the shapeshifter.

“Please, I know the real Raven is still somewhere in there,” he pleaded and stood just a few feet from her. “It can’t just be gone like that. Look up there”-- Beast Boy pointed at the glow in the sky-- “It’s your soul, Rae. It’s still there. You can still come back from this. There’s still a chance.”

“Oh, Gar,” Raven cooed with a hint of mockery in her voice, “you’ve always been so… so stupidly naive.” All of a sudden, her smile turned into an evil grin and in an instant he was wrapped in the dark matter of her powers up to his neck. “What on Earth makes you think I want to go back? This is the real Raven right here. I’m free from the chains that held me back! I’m stronger than ever!” Her voice was more of a growl now that she spoke and watched him gasp for air as she was slowly strangling him. “And you think you can stand in my way?! That you’re all saviours, all of a sudden?! Wake up from your fantasy world! I’m exactly where I’m”--

Her words were suddenly cut and it was now her who was gasping for air. The grip of her magic on Beast Boy loosened and her wide four eyes looked down at her chest. It… was bleeding. What’s more… There was a blade sticking out of it… 

“D-dami--” She dragged her last breath before the blade was pulled out from her and she fell to the ground, revealing Robin standing right behind her, a light shake in his hands.

“RAVEN!” Beast Boy screamed once he regained his strength and rushed to catch her as she fell. “No! No, no, no, no, no! Come on!” He turned her around in his arms, her blood flowing all over him as her lifeless eyes looked up at him. “Raven, please!” He cried out, but it was no use. She was gone.

Robin didn’t even dare to look at her. Barely standing on his feet, he mindlessly cleaned the sword against the sleeve of his uniform and put it away all with one hand, as the other was surely broken because of the fall. There was no doubt there were other injuries as well. But he’d worry about that later. Right now he was too numb to feel anything. His world had gotten entirely quiet and empty. He didn’t even hear Gar’s crying and then the angry lash-out at him.

“You killed her!” The changeling growled and stood to his feet after gently placing Raven’s body on the ground. “Why did you do that?!” He raised his voice when he realized that Damian wasn’t even listening, walking up to him and grabbing him by the collar, which finally seemed to snap him out of it. “We could’ve saved her! You… you maniac!”

“She made it perfectly clear she didn’t want to be saved!” He frowned and jerked away from the other’s grip.

“Killing her was never an option!” In his anger and grief, Gar shifted into one of those demonic beings and lunged towards Damian, who barely fended him off due to the sustained injuries he already had.

“Get off me, you beast!” Damian grunted and pushed the other away only for him to go in for another attack before Kory stepped in between them.

“Stop it! Gar! Please!” She turned to Gar with a pleading gaze, her hands shaking and eyes filling with tears the very moment she glanced towards Raven. “We still have a fight to win…” In the middle of all this they’d completely forgotten about the demons that were still scattered about, making their way to the city now that Raven’s magic barrier had dispersed. “We’ll deal with this later.” A sharp look was shot at Damian before she flew back into the field, followed by Gar who allowed himself to let his anger out on the remaining demons. 

------

“You shouldn’t be here…”

The silence was broken and Damian didn’t have to look behind him to recognize the voice. For a moment, he was hesitant with his response, trying to find a good reason. But in the end, what did it matter anyway?

“There’s a lot of things I shouldn’t be. The real question is why you’re here, Grayson.”

“Couldn’t reach you,” Dick answered truthfully as he stepped next to the younger boy. “Figured this would be the place you’d be.”

“Tt.” Damian frowned, but refrained from responding as he kept his gaze forwards.

The room wasn’t very well lit. It was cold and had an eerie feeling to it. Which made sense, seeing that there was a coffin lying right in front of them. A part of him had wanted to open it to say his goodbyes, but somehow it was too hard for him to do. So he had opted to standing there just like that. Company was something he hadn’t expected in a place like this, however.

“The funeral’s only tomorrow, you know,” Dick spoke up again to break the silence between them once more. There was a part of him that wanted to consult Damian, to comfort him in his time of grief, but… He wasn’t quite sure how.

“I’m aware,” he was curt in his answer.

“Damian, look,” the other sighed and turned fully to Damian, “if you want to talk about”--

“What is it with you all and talking? Everyone’s offering to talk. No. I don’t want to talk,” his green eyes shot up at Dick and squinted at him, making sure he knew he was serious about this. But the older male wasn’t swayed much. He knew this feeling very well. So he remained calm and gentle with his brother.

“What do you want then?”

“Nothing you can get me.”

“Is there any way I can try?” Dick cocked his head to the side and offered him a bit of a smile, but it didn’t seem to do much. Damian’s frown remained and he shifted his gaze to the closed coffin once again before stuffing his hands in his pockets and turning around to leave.

“You know what I want, Grayson,” he spoke as he walked away, his eyes focused on the ground, catching a glimpse of the red gem in a pendant around his neck that was shimmering in the light, “just like you know it’s an impossible thing to want.”

------

“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” A shriek resounded in the entire place, bringing everyone’s attention in an instant.

“What happened?!” Jaime asked, rushing into the room where Kory was and gasping at the sight himself.

“What”-- Dick ran in with the rest of them and didn’t even have to ask. The sight explained everything. 

“Somebody has stolen Raven’s body!” Kory screamed, still terrified at the realization.

“Who would do such a thing?!” Gar threw his hands in the air and watched Dick as he started looking around.

“Why would anyone do that?” Dick mused to himself, looking for any traces that could lead them to the culprit. But after a few minutes of investigation, a sudden thought struck him and he instantly scanned everyone in the room. “Where’s Damian?”

The sudden question confused everyone, but they all looked at one another and realized that the boy in question was indeed missing. 

“Do you really think he could’ve”-- the thought almost disgusted Gar to the point that he was unable to finish his sentence.

“I need a ride,” Dick suddenly demanded and rushed to the door. “A jet!”

The request didn’t clear anything up for anyone and they were left dumbfounded as they watched the man leave, but Kory went to help him arrange the transport, even if she didn’t know what it was for. What was going on? Dick said he had no time to explain. And they really did not have a lot of time, as the funeral was to take place tomorrow afternoon. What would they do if they had no body to bury?!

Dick had to be fast. If his suspicions were right, he needed to act fast. Before Damian did something stupid. Their conversation earlier, the way he had been acting ever since her body was brought to the funeral home, the way the body just disappeared  from the coffin… It was too much to be just a coincidence. And the fact that he was not responding to any kind of contact didn’t help his case either. Now Dick could only hope he wouldn’t be too late.

Several hours later, he finally arrived.

“Nanda Parbat,” Dick sighed and the radar suddenly picked up one of their jets. “There you are.”

Making his way there, he prayed he would catch Damian in time. Jumping out of the plane, he rushed inside. The facilities had long been abandoned, so thankfully he didn’t have to worry about the League here. 

“Damian!” The man exclaimed as he opened the door to a large room underground with what looked like a pool in the middle of it, right as Damian readied to place the body inside of it.

“Stay back, Grayson!” He warned the other.

“Damian, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m fixing things!”

“This isn’t fixing! You know this,” Dick tried to reason as he took careful steps closer. “You know what the Lazarus Pit does. Better than anyone.”

“I know what it does. That’s why I’m here in the first place.”

“No, Damian… You might not want to admit this, but this is your grief clouding your better judgement.”

“The hell it is!”

“Just think about it! What will you be bringing back?”

“I’m bringing her back, damn it!”

“No! Not who. What. An empty shell of a being. A deadman walking. She will be nothing like Raven. Come on, Damian. Think,” Dick pleaded, now just a couple feet from the other, carefully reaching for him once he was close enough. “This isn’t you. And this won’t be her.” His voice was soft as he placed a hand on Damian’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Then what am I supposed to do?!” Damian suddenly yelled out and looked up at the other, his eyes filling with tears, which took Dick by surprise. “What am I supposed to do to make it better?! To make this fucking pain in my chest go away?! I can’t even bare to look at her without feeling like half of my insides have been ripped out!”

“D-damian…” The other breathed out, completely taken aback by this sudden reaction that he had never seen from Damian.

“I killed her, Grayson!” The boy cried out. “I killed her!”

“Hey, no, shhhh…” He quickly pulled Damian in a tight embrace, letting him cry in his chest as he felt his hands grip onto his shirt. “You saved her from herself, Damian… And you saved countless innocent lives because of that. It was the only way…” 

“It doesn’t make it any easier!”

“I know… I know. And it’ll take time. And it’ll be hard for a while. But, trust me, it gets easier. It’ll get easier.”

Time heals all wounds, right?

--- Next chapter already available here

[insanityclause]

Zawe Ashton is sorry that she is tired. In her dressing room at Manhattan's Jacobs Theatre, at what would be the end of a working day for many, she still has to go over last night’s notes with her director Jamie Lloyd, and get into hair and make-up. Within hours, she will hit the stage for another sold-out night of her Broadway run in Betrayal, the Harold Pinter revival, which will make her a New Yorker until the end of the year.

“I feel like I'm going mad, but I think I'm really into New York. [When I speak], I can already hear my American upward inflections!” she giggles. The play, which also stars Charlie Cox and Tom Hiddleston, has come to New York after a sold-out turn in London in a year that has cemented 35-year-old Ashton's transition from emerging ingenue to bonafide leading lady. In person, she's warm, wickedly funny, and whip-smart — a combination that goes some way to explaining how she's built a career not just in front of the camera, but as a writer, director, playwright, too. Just don't call her an overnight success — it's been nearly 30 years in the making.

Ashton was born and raised in Hackney, a culturally diverse part of East London at the forefront of the city's gentrification. "Cut me open, and I do bleed Hackney," Ashton says. “I remember when cab drivers wouldn’t even go there but for me, there was just local people establishing community and establishing identity. It was multiculturalism, it was biracial, it was anarchy.”

She grew up the eldest child of an Ugandan mother and English father. She describes her younger self as a hyper child. “I just wanted constant stimulation.” Her mother, busy with three kids, enrolled Ashton in the Anna Scher Theatre, an affordable drama class, whose notable alumni ranges from Hollywood crossovers Daniel Kaluuya and Kathy Burke, to Eastenders favourites Sid Owen, Patsy Palmer, and Natalie Cassidy.

“I went in, and there were like three or four baskets on a tiny little stage. One said wigs, one said hats, one said costumes, and I thought to myself, 'I’m going to love this.'" Ashton went on to spend 14 years with the company. "Every Friday night and every Saturday afternoon for 14 years! I think back now, what a disciplined young person that I was. I think I’ve always needed something like that to keep me anchored.”

Small roles in Game On and The Demon Headmaster followed, along with appearances in British staples like The Bill, Casualty, and Holby City, but her success led to bullying at her north London school. “I was different from others at a time when you're supposed to just be blending into that wall,” she says. If there's one thing that's clear, it's that Ashton doesn't do blending in. "I never understood this thing of finding yourself or finding the truth — I couldn’t give a sh*t about the truth," she says.

Earlier this year, she released Character Breakdown, a book about her experiences as actor and the challenge of darting between make-believe and everyday life. "I've never bought into the idea that there is this one self," she says. "I started acting as a 6-year-old child, when my brain was still extremely fragile. I didn’t have hope in hell if I didn’t want to have fractured selves — that moment was over by the time I’d finished my first day on a film set."

Ashton's breakout role didn't come until years after that first day. In 2011, when she was 27, she debuted her role as the hilarious and sensational Vod in Channel 4's now cult classic, Fresh Meat. “When I got it, I had just done an independent movie called Dreams Of A Life,” she recalls. “That was a one-two punch. I had my independent film world covered and I suddenly had this cult TV world covered, and that was it. My head was above the parapet, and things have just been on the up since then."

Like many actors of her generation, she's only down with the "up" when it's about the work. "I’ve never been bothered about fame," she says. "Even when I was at Anna Scher Theatre, you were never allowed to use the words 'star' or 'fame,' they were like swear words. I want to be a successful actor, never a famous star. Because one is an organic meal that will sustain you, and the other is toxic.”

That does complicate things, because whether she's conscious of it or not, Ashton is a star. Her most recent work has seen her share the screen with Toni Collette in the BBC drama Wanderlust, about a therapist trying to save her fraught relationship with her husband,  played by Steven Mackintosh. She also had a lead role in Netflix’s Velvet Buzzsaw, a quirky thriller set in the contemporary art world where she plays Josephina, the object of affection, alongside an idiosyncratic art critic called Morf, played by Jake Gyllenhaal. Her wattage is rising, and unsurprisingly, the designers have come calling. Erdem, Mulberry, Regina Pyo, and Roksanda Illincic all want to dress her, but as Ashton discloses, the style part doesn't always come naturally.

“People talk about ‘effortless style’ but effortless is so far away from any of my experiences of that sort of thing." She now works with stylist, art director, and brand consultant Steph Wilson for her big appearances. "She's not a celebrity stylist, which seems to be a very different breed of person," Ashton explains, "but my stylist is a big reason I am able to cope with events." Their first collaboration — a voluminous, tiered Stella McCartney gown that Ashton wore on the 2016 Olivier's Red Carpet — set the tone in their relationship. "We affectionately called [it] the lampshade dress," Ashton recalls. "It was a complete risk, and a risk that I'd been told again and again and again not to take. 'Don’t go there, you're not well known, you're not famous, unless you’re famous you shouldn’t wear things like this.' I just said, 'I want to dress like the artist I feel,' and that was that."

Ashton might sound assertive, but she swears she is only now coming into her own. “How long have we got to talk about women of colour and imposter syndrome,” Ashton asks, now in her hair and make-up prep. “It’s a real thing, and many people have it. It’s, I think, a particular characteristic of the overachiever. Because you're bottomless, you never think what you’ve achieved is enough. There are lots of little dots, as I approach my 30th year as an actor, that I'm sort of really looking to connect so I can move on to the next stage of my life.”

Part of that next stage is taking up more space. "When you work in film sets, when you’re working on projects that are male dominated, you are always treated as the last priority," she says carefully. "There have been times when, like in sex scenes or whatever, I’ve just been expected to get on with it. No conversation, no time wasting, you're just supposed to minimise your space, and let the money-making industry crack on because time is money." Not any more. "I'm going to call abuse when it’s abuse, and I'm going to call micro-aggression when it’s micro-aggression," she says of on-set behaviour she once might have let slide.

In October, in both Hackney and New York, she will stage For All The Women Who Thought They Were Mad, a play she wrote some 10 years ago when she part of the Royal Court Young Writers group. The play uses statistics to platform the cultural biases at work in medical institutions in Britain that are specifically stacked against women from the African diaspora. “Women being over medicated, unnecessarily being sectioned into their families, losing their jobs. It’s all really shocking, so I wanted to write something for all the women I’ve known [who] thought they were alone. It’s taken so long to get off the ground because it was considered an exposé by every theatrical institution in London, and [I'm] so glad we are doing it," she adds. "A lot of women for a long time have been told to find their voices, but I don’t agree. We have voices. We just need a platform. And we need the words."

One word Ashton is thinking about a lot these days is "motherhood." “I would like to have a baby,” she says slowly. "I’ve never said that before, but women never say it." Despite various rumours about her love life, she emphasises that the baby is a goal, not a current reality. "It's not in the works, and it's not being planned," she says. "There's absolutely not one single detail that I can mention, but the next thing on my agenda is building towards that stage, and I feel very proud of that."

Ashton is aware that the path in that direction will be unreasonably complicated. "The widespread shame of motherhood is criminal, and it needs to stop," she says. "The world can never improve if you disrespect the people that bring life." Still, Ashton is rolling up her sleeves. "I feel like this career has so many connections to my childhood desires, and now I want to figure out what my adult ones are.”

[frstbiitten]

tw: child abuse mention, violence & death mention

Everything seems too quiet, there is no sound that can break that much-needed and sought-after peace, the simple noise of the waves has been suppressed by nothingness itself, just like the wind between the rocks. The sea invites to enter in it one step and then another, what can be beyond? Perhaps a hidden treasure, a desert island, monsters hungry for more ships lost in the storm. There weren’t enough minutes to think exactly about what was there, too much to explore and recognize. The sun gradually sinks into the ocean as well, it hides in it until it is the right moment to re-emerge. She also wanted to go to accompany the sun, she wanted to see how much mystery there was down there, amid the deep water and the danger of the unknown. She could find something more beautiful among the deep waters, her mind returned to her body after playing with the clouds for a few seconds, her eyes distracted in the dance of dark oranges and blues of the waves, a beautiful morfing kaleidoscope.

Maybe if she refocused too much on the rest of the people around her, she might stop hearing that cooing, she needed a distraction. Her eyes, two young aquamarines still search for something to do while she stays in the shade under the pier, among the sands and rocks the young woman had put together an ideal place to live without anyone bothering her. She had become someone nameless, one more homeless person looking for food and a place to sleep. This was her house now, it has been for a few years, if someone dared to go too far into her cave, she would not hesitate to defend herself from all those searching for troubles or those who are too curious. 

The night falls, she spies on the surroundings like a predator looking for her prey, aiming to find more leftovers from some food before it goes to waste, or at best, money. Damn, it's very populated tonight. She leaves her hiding place from the shadows of the pier, moves like an insect among the rocks to be able to escape them, her body draws enough attention to stand out from any crowd. The girl chose to wait for people to leave, but didn't want to stay and wait until the beach was abandoned. The sand-filled broken shoes were what she could wear now, only had those by the time found them among piles of garbage that no one needed anymore, abandoned, someone unconsciously gave her a gift.

She wasn't so far from the source of the noises in the ambient, bright lights and storefronts with things that only she could dream of having. Having... she had nothing, was there anything she could call 'her own'? Oh no, no, not a single thing out there belongs to her, her soul is the only thing that accompanies her and this foreign body that has mutated as much as her life itself. The bright lights stain her being with pale colors, making her look almost as identical to a ghost that has left this earth unfairly, sees the world move from here to there, people with bags or talking to each other, children running or jumping, old people taken from the hands as they talk about better times, but even they go too fast to be able to be listened carefully to what they say. The girl takes a second, not to think but to let go for a moment from reality even for a few minutes, just a few minutes, it always works enough to make her forget that she roams between this world of mortals and she is no more special than these humans around her, they all have something she doesn't, and the other way around as well. Still, she was out of focus in the overall picture, with the cold stuck inside of her bones, waiting patiently.

So, it waited, it’s better that it remains sheltered there until it was necessary, but to say that she had control over it is a big lie that even she could not believe. Her name no longer belongs to her, only one voice last mentioned it and that voice was forever frozen in the past, that's where it has to be. The girl knew that one day, again, that outburst of rage and adrenaline would come back, it would be exalted enough to bring the winter down on some unlucky, wretched soul. For now, it's a spell she can't master.

Her nights went that way, getting lost in the middle of the crowd, looking for food or asking for some money, hopefully, some stranger would give her a few dollars although lately, it has become a habit to receive a few coins. The hunger was constant, her legs trembled from time to time and she had to stop after a few minutes because of the dizziness that was caused by being surrounded by people and the deafening noises. The children scream too loudly, people walk too fast, the elderly have started arguing about who knows what, hears small dogs attempting to be threatening once they see her pass and bark too loud to be ignored. Speakers, voices, screams, music that becomes noise, constant banging, figures moving in lines of all kinds, listened to each one at the same time, increased suddenly until they became an intense conglomerate of a strenuous orchestra, a fatal white noise in the middle of the night. Those were her nights and none of them were special.

And so those were her nights a few weeks ago.

16, stupid 16. With the spirit full of despair, the body painted with dark bruises all over, her skin of moonlight was an ideal canvas for the bloodstains and rivers of carmine that dripped from above the line between her skin and where her white hair begins. She was accustomed to violence, tried to avoid it but this time she got to this point of being placed under the spotlight. There were screams, screams and shouts full of euphoria. Barely remembered anything, what did the girl who hit her look like? She remembered the fog falling before her eyes, was dense and could barely see her rival. It was Amateur’s Night, it meant that anyone could enter the ring like nothing and earn some coins in exchange for a brutal murder under the eyes of strangers. Who were they? How did she get here? Inside the hustle and bustle of a few nights ago, she was able to listen to a conversation that attracted her attention. Male voices spoke about a couple of girls who beat themselves enough until one of them 'gave up' and he had earned a large sum of money, inviting the other to go there later to appreciate the 'show' together... if he wanted to. That stranger accepted his friend's suggestion. She, on the other hand, decided to follow them, they first entered a restaurant, were drunk in a matter of minutes but functional enough to walk many, many blocks to a place that looked nothing like what she knew.

Yes, violence appealed to her. The girl knew they wouldn't let her in, even lesser were the chances to get inside with those rags she wears all the time. They went through narrow alleys, neon lights illuminated the pavement, the ponds of dark water became more noticeable and even if they reflected the reds and greens of the lights, nothing took away the horrendous smell of rot, as if something had died nearby. More people appeared in their way, they did look at her, they did saw the way that her eyes would perch on them, as the light painted her face pale with furious red and melancholic blue, she lost sight of them in the middle of a crowd in front of a building she had never seen before. She was lucky this second time. The first time she followed these two men she could not see clearly was happening inside of the building, from the outside it looked like a terrible nightclub, but if one listened attentively, further down and a little to the right, you could hear more than just loud music, listening to the hits, relentless hits, some came and went like lightning against the earth, loud and incessant. She listened to female voices insulting each other, threatened to kill each other, said things she never dared say!

It was for a few coins, a few stupid coins she would then use in something to eat. She didn't have proper gloves, 'Amateur’s Night', means you come into the cage with what you're wearing. Before returning to that place that memorized the road repeatedly, the girl tried to appear as presentable as she could, tied her hair in a ponytail that ended looking completely messy. Oh, but she had everything a little more planned, she had stolen an identity card from someone who might be old enough to allow her to enter -it was a feat that almost cost her own skin- she knew they wouldn't admit a desperate girl into the cage, the face might confuse whoever is in charge, incredibly, they did let her pass.

But a detail escaped away from her. She had to kill her rival. The woman had more years in her body and lamented when the cold of the young girl’s soul made contact with the body of that anonymous woman. She knew well that no one had bet on the girl who seemed to have wallowed in the garbage, the other gave the impression to have more experience but the same level of despair as her. It all happened too fast. Now she rests inside of the bathroom, sitting on the broken tiles of the room in lousy lighting, a solitary blue light provided companionship to her while she uses a borrowed towel. What has she done exactly to have blood all over? Her knuckles were darkened and there was almost no skin on them, that woman may have realized that the girl was not normal and died not without giving a taste of her ability. The girl rose from the ground, holding onto the sink to find the so much needed balance, her face might not have been ruined but she still had doubts about those minutes when she lost control.

She let out a quiet sob, no, she couldn't cry now. What would her mother say if she could hear to her sobbing like a stray dog? Could recall a second of that time in which she dared to cry in front of her mother and a red burning sensation appeared out of nowhere on her cheek caused by the palm of her hand, remorseful of her emotional act, preferred to hide that grief that lingered inside of her heart, swallowing saliva like never before. Almost as much as now, when the fingers of her cold hands look brittle, paler than before and with remnants of frost on the fingertips. She submerged the towel under the tap water stream, perhaps it was not the freshest water of all but helped her to ginger up enough to continue the work of removing the remaining bloodstains. Both of her eyes were saved by a miracle from taking any blows, muscles felt like freed from an invisible prison, she feared of admitting that she had liked to be under the spotlight. Heard banging on the door of the bathroom and a 'can I pass?' from a male voice.

"What do you want?" Her voice sounded more demanding than usual as she turned around, considering she barely uttered a word during the day. That voice belonged to a young man, perhaps a few years older than her, maybe he is just in his twenties, could not see well who he was because of the blue light on the wall of the entrance, distorted the image enough to accentuate the shadows projected on his visage. Could identify the dark wavy hair, maybe his eyes were blue or green, the girl couldn't see him well, he was dressed like any other guy who attends these type of 'spectacles', perhaps the most notorious thing about him was his perfume of attractive essence and the cigar smoke coming out of his mouth as if he was a fire dragon resting in his cave.

"I have to admit, it's been a long time since I've seen a rookie put up a fight like that in the cage, you left lots of dude with their mouths open." Maintained some distance, enough to be seen clearer by the girl, his aura was... as enigmatic as his presence. "None of these people have such a cool power like yours."

"The truth is that... I don't know what I did in there." Sorrow stuffs every word that she pronounces, though she could not avoid feeling some pride in his words. Still, the girl would remain serious, holding the towel between her cold hands. Firmly, though she was afraid of not knowing what was going on.

"My name is Lewis, I've been looking for someone with such cold blood in their fighting style so I can give them a hand, I know this is all very hasty and maybe someone missed to mention the part where you'd have to kill your opponent, but look... You taught a lesson to all those who have belittled you." He spoke in a calm voice, not making many movements with his hands, except with the two fingers that kept the cigarette between them, it was almost imperceptible, drawing the smoke raising from it in a zig-zag line.

"I swear I didn't know, I never imagined that I'd have to do that, I would have preferred not to! I swear!" She had this awful regret filling her high-pitched voice, although her voice had recently begun to sound more severe and almost gravelly.

"I know sweetheart, I know, but look... you may feel sorry for yourself now, but how about trying a second time later? Once you're healed enough you can come back, plus, you just won a hell of a fight, a lot of the bets that went to the other girl now belong to you. Imagine what you could do if you could earn more... maybe you could start with some new clothes, right?"

It sounded tempting, could come back again when she ran out of money and fight on another Amateur’s Night, meanwhile, she could learn from watching the other fighters, better appreciate the large picture and apprehend from it. Lewis had a positive argument between his hands, that's what she wanted. She liked what he offered.

“Okay... I’ll do it.”

"Excellent. And now this is my last offer, which guarantees you a greater acceptance among these crazy sadistic assholes, you’ll get so many benefits: I could be something like your manager, guiding you with your training when it comes to fighting and select your rivals better in the future." This Lewis guy stayed in his own spot all the time, made eye contact with her enough to recognize that he was facing a girl younger than the rest of the ones normally sees in the cage, if others found out that she was underage it could start a scandal of such magnitudes that could attract unwanted attention. Although he had thought about it a lot before entering the part where the fighters go to take a break, he had never seen such power in front of him, could be in front of a gold mine right now. "What I mean is, if you want, you can have a little more support by your side, and who knows, move forward like an official fighter."

What else could she lose at this point?

Still trying to assimilate what just happened with the other woman, her throat was dry and felt nauseous but maintained her cool, weren’t you the one who promised to not kill anybody else? Well, was there any other solution for her right now? Negative, the road of her life was so cloudy before her that she could not see the horizon through the dense mist. This was one of those 'take it or leave it' situations... Take it, take it, take it.

"I think if it would be the best, I still don't know anything about this and what happened there was..." It was no coincidence that she is breathing right now while a group of men in dark jackets took care of the body, where would it end now? "I still don't understand what happened, but yes, I want to work with you."

The voice did not break at any time besides of not being in the best condition, Lewis had many questions to ask her, they would have time for that of course, now it was just a matter of time for her to recover. But he needed to ask her one last question.

"Tell me what is your name? Did you forget to enunciate it before entering? ”

She did not forget about it,  but only she preferred to not mention it out loud, perhaps so she would forget in the near future like the girl she left behind in the apartment, she and that girl were no longer the same. She shook her head from one side to the other softly, he sighed tiredly in return, well, he would have to invent a nickname of a hurry, for now, he only came up with one.

“¿Snowflake? ¿Do you like that one?”

No, she didn’t like it at all... however, she accepted it.

[gyllenhaalstories]

Fun question for you Laurie: between Jake's characters, Chris' and Daniel's, who do you see yourself dating?

hi, anon!!!!! this quesyion sent me into an existential crisis for a moment, but i'm back and ready to take this way too seriously! i'm pretty sure i've answered something similar in the past so i apologize if some of my answers don't match the previous ones! there are two ways to go, the realistic one and the ideal boyfriend! enjoy whatever this is!

also i hate the new beta asks thank you next.

for jake:

realistically speaking, i feel like adam bell from enemy would be the obvious choice for me. we'd probably have some mutual appreciation while i studied in the same department of history where he teaches but refused to take it further until i graduated, or perhaps we met at a seminar/congress and discussed research topics and stuff like that. we'd probably be bored of each other real quick, or have trouble separating work and relationship. he feels very within himself and not very talkative. i would rate this relationship a 6/10. we would probably break up after a few years, knowing it takes time for things to fix themselves but we'd never really put the effort in the relationship. would probably meet later in life and we'll be happy for each other that we moved on.

my ideal boyfriend is probably morf. in a very ideal world where my 2 braincells match all of his knowledge and where i can take criticism without crying, we'd be an interersting pair. i'm extremely clingy and we'd probably spend all of our time koala hugging or visiting galleries and me trying to tell him not to destroy yet another artist's dream and career. we'd have a special bond, like he had with joséphine except i won't treat him like crap. he'd insist we travel a lot, we talk down random streets rather than visit popular landmarks and tourists spots. we'd paint for fun, take pottery or knitting classes just for the sake of doing activities together. probably would never get married, which i'm very supportive of. we'd exchange promise rings. we'd adopt a cat and a dog. we'd be very happy, although our perfectionism and high standards would create problems in our relationship that don't even exist. we'd solve the issues with an unplanned trip to prague, to berlin, to wherever our hearts take us. 9/10 (just kidding it's detective loki xox)

for chris:

frank adler. again, we'd meet at school when he was teaching. i took his philosophy class, struggled because it was too advanced, he took pity in me and offered to help. he really did help, like a lot. weekly meetings, emails, advice, anything. we'd get to know each other through all of these meetings, private details would slip accidentally. maybe one time his hand would rest on my thigh as he scoots closer to read through an article i found. we'd laugh awkwardly. we'd just kiss. and promise it would never happen. except it would, even after i'm done with his class. we'd have something very serious, i'd even sign up for a second class with his later on and much to my dismay, he would have vanished before the first day without warning around the time his sister died. it'd take months, if not a whole year or two for one of us to reach out again. he'd invite me to florida, after we exchanged emails and texts and he would tell me all about mary. i would like roberta immediately, she'd hint at frank that she has a good feeling about the two of us. i rate this relationship a solid 8.5/10. i hate kids, but i'd play with legos with mary every time she wants.

ANDY FUCKING BARBER. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just marry me already, damn it that's all i'm asking. 9.9/10 (he drinks too much beer so he loses a 0.1).

for daniel:

that one took a lot of thinking. it's a tie between tony from burnt and (modern day) lazslo. TONY IS GAY I KNOW BUT LET ME EXPLAIN why date when you can have a best friend????? friendship can be so wholesome and fulfilling?????? and i think that's what would happen. with tony for example, we could have bumped into each other after breaking up with our partner/having our hearts broken. he is so in love with adam despite knowing it's impossible for his feelings to be mutual; maybe i could have fallen in love with a girl who doesn't love me back. and we just eat ice cream and complain. i'd offer to help him with the restaurant, after hours. put the chairs on the tables while he's short of staff and needs help. tony is a good cook and no one can tell me otherwise, so he'd sneak in the kitchens and make us late night snacks. 10/10 friendship. we'd grow old together, always find ways to hang out despite our schedules getting busy. NOW FOR LASZLO we'd meet in college for sure.i'd ask him to watch my stuff (even if he would be a total stranger at the beginning) while i go pee or something, and he would WATCH IT like sit on my seat and make sure no one dares steal the books i took from the shelves for their own research, or steal a pen idk. it'd make me laugh when i'd come back. we'd bond over just how awkward we are. he'd tell me about his family stories, about how life is in germany where he's from. i like the thought of me being the one to introduce him to mary, she could be my roommate or friend who studies film. laszlo would introduce me to john, who'd probably try to flirt and date. plot twist: i'd have a massive crush on sara, john's childhood friend and friend with benefits and overall confusing situation but i would never act on it. laszlo'd be very good with helping me with my breakdowns and anxiety, although that would become an issue. there would be gray areas where he'd start treating me like a patient or a lab rat from what he's learning in class. he'd be a bit too invasive and insensitive at times. we'd probably have times where we fought and refused to step on our pride and fix the situation. we'd reunite around graduation and celebrate one another. we'd be the kind of friends that don't need to hang out all the time to keep the friendship alive, we could meet once or twice a year and catch up and be good. 7.5/10, but we'd improve as we grow older. plot twist part 2: i would end up with sarah, laszlo with mary and i'd be both the bridesmaid to their wedding with john as the best man and with sara as the flower girl just to laugh at how she'd throw petals in our faces and protest against the institution of marriage.

my one true love: zemo, self explanatory. 10000000/10.

there you go, that's the psychoanalysis no one asked for. <3

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

I made a fundraiser to help me afford a good binder that won't hurt me (like my last one) or break (again, last one), to afford the right gender attire and also Testosterone. But I don't know how to go about spreading it around. Tips on where I should go to drop the link?

Lee says:

Posting a link in the description of your social media accounts are a good place to start! You can also contact people one-on-one and ask them to donate to you. 

This article is about surgery fundraising, but the “Crowdfunding For Surgery Money” part could apply to crowdfunding for any transition thing and the links at the end are also helpful, so I’d give it a read. This tag has a post on fundraising too, which you could take a peek at as well. 

Free binders:

In a Bind (USA)

MORF (UK)

FTME (USA, 24 and under only)

Replace the Ace (USA)

Big Brothers (Donation required, 18 and older or with parent permission)

Come as you are (Canada)

Point5CC (Free binder with purchase of a T-shirt)

The Binder Project

How do I buy a binder if I’m not out?

Buy a pre-paid gift card to order it online, and have it sent to a friend’s house or to the post office and pick it up there.

How to have a binder without parents knowing

What is the gc2b packaging like?

From what I’ve read, people will want to see how you’ve tried to get the money yourself and why you’re unable to pay for it, so make sure you’ve tried all of your options before crowd fundraising. When first I wanted a binder I was 15, and I got enough money for it through chores and yardwork and birthday and christmas money all added up. When I wanted a packer I was 16, and I applied to part-time jobs and started working 3 hours a week so I could save up my money to get one. When I was 17 I wanted to start testosterone as soon as I turned 18, so I looked into the insurance laws for my state and the insurance my family has covers testosterone. You’re going to need to demonstrate that you’re too disabled to get a job, or that you’re too poor to save up the money or people won’t donate to you.

On affording testosterone: You can use GoodRx coupons if your insurance doesn’t cover testosterone. Before you do that though, it’s really important to see if they do cover testosterone, because a lot of insurances do (mine does!). Once you’ve done all your research, you’ll know how much you’ll have to pay out of pocket. The How much does it cost to start testosterone? post and the What is the monthly price of different forms of testosterone? post are guestimates that’ll give you a vague idea of the cost, but until you’ve dealt with your insurance, you won’t know how much it’ll be.

As for the clothes, sometimes you can get donations from local LGBT organizations that have clothes for trans people who can’t afford to buy them! Looking into that could be helpful.

Followers, any advice for anon on where they should send their fundraising link?

[thegirlsinthefirehouse]

11 or 14 for the mini fic thing. For Yatesmann. Original Toltzmann if you want!

Okay, two Yatesmann and one Toltzmann coming up. :)

—–things you said when you were drunk (Pre-Yatesmann, mention of past Yatesbert)“Have I said I luuuuuurve you lately?” hiccuped Holtzmann, leaning into Abby’s shoulder, grinning. Abby rolled her eyes and smiled fondly. Holtz had moved from happily tipsy to heading towards drunk. But she was definitely not going to be happy to go to work in the morning.

“Okay, now I know you’ve had enough to drink. Let’s go home.”

“Kay,” said Holtz, picking up her jacket from off the back of the bar stool. She and Abby had come for a drink after work. They were both tired after a day of teaching at Higgins, but Holtzmann had surprised her that afternoon in the lab with a working prototype of the PKE meter she had always wanted. Abby had thought they would never get it to work. But now, it existed. So they had gone out for dinner and drinks. It had been nice to spend time with her friend after the day was done. There were times Abby really wished she didn’t have to say goodbye at the end of the day. But that… that sort of thing was in the past. Her heart had been broken once, and she wasn’t about to let it happen again.Besides, she didn’t even really know if Holtz was even interested in a relationship. Abby was just enjoying being friends with the most brilliant mind she had ever come across. She left a tip for the bartender after paying their tab. They were both quiet on their way out of the bar. It was a bit of a cold evening, and Abby saw Holtz shivering. Her jacket was very thin compared to her own trenchcoat.

“Here,” said Abby. She threw her coat over Holtz’s shoulders. “You’re going to freeze out here like that.”“I’m surrounded by Abbbbbbbby,” flailed Holtz after putting it on. “I’m wearing an Abby coat.” Abby groaned. She had almost forgotten that Holtzmann could be even more silly and crazy when she was drunk.

“So this is what it’s like to be hugged by a friend.” Abby stopped for a moment, watching Holtz snuggling into the coat. The words shook her to her core, reminding her of the days when she had wondered the same thing growing up.

“Have– have you never been hugged by a friend?” she asked. Holtz shook her head no, her nose practically buried in the collar of the jacket. Abby felt a rush of love and sadness for her lab partner. She grabbed Holtz and pulled her into the tightest bear hug she could manage there in the middle of the sidewalk.

“This… this is a better hug,” grinned Holtz. She buried her head in Abby’s shoulder.

—–

things you said after you kissed me (Yatesmann)“Uh… what was that again?” asked Abby, still feeling stunned that Holtz had kissed her in the middle of the firehouse. They usually didn’t share PDA during the middle of the day. Holtz gave her a sheepish look but grinned wickedly.

“I… I may have accidentally have lit Patty’s desk on fire this time instead of Erin’s. It’s glowing green.”

“Oh hell. Holtz–”

“We might want to run.”

“HOLTZY!!!!!” yelled out a voice from upstairs.

“And quickly!” yelped Holtz. She grabbed for Abby’s hand.

—–things you said on the way to the hospital (Toltzmann)

“Just stay with me,” said Patty, holding Holtzmann’s hand and rubbing it. The blonde groaned, opening her eyes. The first thing she noticed was the stiffness in her bones.

“How long was I out?”

“About twenty minutes. Abby’s foot is stomped to the floor.”

“Is Erin panicking yet?”

“Not yet,” said Patty. “But then, she’s on the phone with the hospital.”

“I’m fi–” But Patty cut Holtzmann off.

“Baby, you are not fine. You took a fall from about 12 feet. You’re hurt.”

Holtzmann didn’t even have the energy to argue. She was really tired and really annoyed at the demon that had given them so much trouble that afternoon. Whatever had happened after the demon had gotten ahold of her, she didn’t even want to know. She just hoped they had managed to bag the sneaky little bastard.

“Tell Abby not to crash my baby,” Holtz said sleepily. “And tell Erin to take care of my chinchillas.”

“I will, but don’t go to sleep Holtzy. Stay with me. See if you can say from 100 to 1 backwards.”

“Morf 001 ot 1 sdrawkcab.”

“Smartass,” chuckled Patty. She kissed Holtz’s forehead. Holtzmann realized the upper part of her body was in Patty’s lap.

“You’re going to be fine baby,” said Patty. “Just need to get you to the hospital and cleaned up. You’ll be right as rain.”

“I’ve always liked the rain,” said Holtz sleepily. She looked up at Patty with a small smile.

“But not as much as I like you.” Holtzmann closed her eyes, still smiling.

[stuff-731]

Clueless part 1

Avengers X reader, Steve Rogers X reader(eventually) Female reader Breffing: You are a orphan with powers that you don't even know of. You have been discovered by the advengers and they want to recruit you, but there is one problem. You can turn invisible, telekinesis, Wanda's powers, see what has happened at certain places, and morf. These are only some of the powers. When you get scared (which comes easy) all of these go bizerker. You have mental problems that nobody knows about. The thing is, that you know you have more powers you just don't know what they are. You are terrified of practically anything. You are a girl who has never felt love or caring before. Your safe place has always been on top of roof because no one had a tendency to look up away from thier devices at the beautiful sky. In the past you have been chased for your powers. But you always managed to get away. You live off of the streets and barely ever get food. Warning: mentiones of panicing, axiaty Autors note: I didn't say any of your powers in the breffing because in the story you discover new powers so if I listed all of them it would be a long list. This is my first one so please be supportive and I would love to here what you think about it. I am welcome to take suggestions and/or advise but again please be constructive. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You were on a roof. Your safe place until now. They knew where you were and you knew it. They are coming for YOU. You started to panic. You heard the distant rumble that you knew would happen. You heard iron against the pebbles on the roof where you once called your hiding place. Iron Man. He is here. You then heard a wooshing sound as if a small helicopter had just landed. Thor. You looked down and could see through the pebbles (using you powers of course). You saw them. The whole Advenger team all here to get you. The rest of them were on the stairs leading to the door that opened up to the roof. They knew that you where dangerous but they didn't actually know how dangerous you were. They actually knew nothing about your past. Heck, they probably didn't even know your name. Iron Man on your left, Thor on your right, and the rest of the team below you. You were sitting there looking down, facing the busy street from above. You were surrounded. You started to panic, thoughts rushing through your head. You knew on the outside you looked calm and they were starting to think that this wouldn't be as hard as everyone was making it sound. You were just sitting there peaceful. It started. You could feel yourself start to shake violently as if you were trying to fight something that they couldn't see. You could feel them staring at you starting to notice it. Iron Man said through his suit in a matter-of-factly tone "Calm down. We don't want to hurt you." It was wierd how he was talking but not moving his mouth. You found it frightening. His mask slid down and you could now see his face. When he spoke you turned your head towerds the man knowing that he couldn't see your face, and heard Thor take a step towards you not thinking that you could hear him. " We just want to talk." He said with a little hint of curiosity. Curious of what would happen, what you looked like and what your capable of. S.H.I.E.L.D only told them that they needed you, that you were dangerous, and that you get scared off easy. Again you heard Thor take a step towards you. You turned your head fast and vicious towards him. Your long wavy hair flying around with your head. They all knew that you should have been too far away from him to hear him to take a step. Iron Man took note of that. Thor then said "We know you are scared of us, but truly we really just want to talk." You looked at him with those knowing eyes and immediately he knew he had messed up lieing to you. That did it. You currled up and fell on your side. They were startled and were thinking that you were going to attack them. You heard both of them start running towards you to help and probably take you away. You started to cry not knowing what to do and panicing. You were frightened out of your mind. That NEVER ended well. Before you knew what you were doing a red force field came from your powers went around you and expanded quickly knocking Iron Man and Thor off of the roof. You heard the rest of the team banking on the door trying to get to where you were, but the force field held it down. You started to stand up not knowing what you were doing and letting your instincts take over. You started running .....running ....running to the edge of the roof. You jumped. You didn't know it until you looked down and saw how high you were through your tears. Terror swept over you and then you realized that you weren't falling. You thought for a minute before realizing that you had morfed. You were flying. You morfed into a crow. You wanted to be sure that you didn't hurt anyone but yet didn't want them to find you. You landed on the other side of the street but more down the street about one eighth of a mile. You landed and looked over. You saw that Iron Man and Thor caught themselves and landed on the roof again. They were all looking for you on the street below but quickly realized that you did something that made it so that they couldn't see you. How wrong they were thinking that for they mearly didn't look around. The rest of the team came through the door and were looking for you like crazy now realizeing that what the people were warning them about was an understatement. You could hear them. But they weren't talking. You heard thier thoughts and the atmosphere around them as they now realize that this was going to be a lot harder then they thought. Then you decided you had seen enough you looked over one last time but stopped in your trakes. You could have sworn that your heart skipped a beat as you saw that Captain America was looking directly at you. Had he seen you? It wasn't possible. You decided that you NEED to act like a crow in order to get away from this. You looked down and pecked at the ground and flew off knowing your black feathers would conseel you into the night and you could turn invisible without any notice. You got away but were from done with the Avengers.

[gyllenhaalstories]

Would you ever write for someone else than Jake or Tom, or more of their characters?

hi, anon!!!! actually, i really tried to challenge myself with the list of potential characters for my kinkmas project. i’d usually just stick to jake and tom, but widening my horizons is something i enjoy more than i thought! my ultimate dream would be to write for adam bell (because he’s my history prof bae) and morf, but morf is just a lost cause. i could NEVER do him justice, i’m still surprised i seemed to have done a decent job with quentin beck! but yeah, i like writing for jake’s characters a lot! as for tom’s charas, except for peter parker, i’m not familiar with them enough to even consider it. i’d also like to write for andy barber but, once again, he’s on a level my 1 braincell can’t reach! i might try to write for henry cavill too, but i want to respect one of my followers who asked that i tag him as a trigger, so i would do it on a different blog. my heart remains with jake! although, i am super thankful that my tom holland fics helped me grow my blog and improve my writing. i wouldn’t be here if it was not of the tom fans who sent request when i started a year ago!