#so she vents to me about it as if i was her therapist lmao

[aaami]

Today was a good day, I guess. Work was okay, I got nice feedback from customers (one even wrote it online, which is even better) and an elderly lady even offered me chocolate after having a long chat with her. Said that it’s always very lovely to come by, we’re always so friendly and helpful. And I even got a new sudoku magazine, which got me somewhat excited lmao

But still, the stupid anxious and depressive thoughts in the back of my head are screaming nonstop and even good days like this feel almost like nothing 🥲 But at least I realized that I can still somehow stay optimistic about my progress and think that hey, even if it feels kinda impossible right now, things are going to be okay.

[tieflingbi]

:)

[thebleedingeffect]

.

[moomoomooing]

hehe

[luvsavos]

You did mention Safi’jiva FTL (Achilles, sorry…I’ll refer to him as that when we’re talking about your AU/interpretation of him) and I have to ask…does he like…become EVIL after he transforms? Does he tap into the Ganondorf side of his voice and go "do not look away. You witness an emperor's revival. And the birth of his new world!" Though I should probably ask…how did he and Aiden even BECOME elder dragons? Unless you answered that already. In which case I’m sorry (Aiden Anon)

hmmmm Yesn't? he's kind of like. morally grey, i'd say

he's definitely a LOT more quick to anger and spiteful/vengeful, though that's also partly due to everything else we've put him through, but he IS still well-intentioned for at least the commission; the reason he chose to keep the safi form was specifically so he could better protect seliana (after the Guild Arc Part One he felt like he had failed seliana and his grandfather and kind of had a uh. spiral, which directly led to the second part of the arc)

as for HOW they became elder dragons, both were from instabilities caused by vodrem, the one that fatalis'ed aiden was prior to him showing up (and i can't recall if anyone else got monster'ed or if it was just him), and the one that safi'jiiva'ed achilles was after it was all said and done, since the Vodrem Event™️ and the guild arc part 2 happened within a few days or so of each other in-universe, so the five hadn't yet managed to fix all of the damage vodrem caused before achilles happened to get Just A Bit Too Close to one of the instabilities

Bad Things tend to happen when aiden and achilles get separated (so many things dear god) so when he felt the draw to the confluence of fates aiden came with him, a nergigante sensed the surge of power from achilles becoming a xeno, which ended up making aiden go fatalis again (protective instincts go brrr), which is what led to him letting achilles drain some of his energy and that's what led to achilles becoming a safi so quickly! still mostly has safi's abilities, but he's got a few modified fatalis-esque things he can do too, though still more in line with safi'jiiva's precision than fatalis' all consuming destruction

[hdmiports]

when my friend and i have an in depth conversation about how sometimes i think i might have bpd and then she acts surprised bc i stop talking to her for weeks at a time over the fact that she used proper punctuation when she usually doesn’t 😍😍😍😍😍

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i think the most fun part about writing is exploiting ur character's flaws to create unique & interesting interpersonal relationships like yes what this character is doing is nearly objectively wrong but to them its just another tuesday. im projecting my parents' issues onto my oc & his kid is what im saying

[snazzilystoopid]

Cole Brookstone Headcannons!

There's quite a lot so enjoy ^^

First of all, I headcannon that he's Filipino

One of the tallest ninja, Zane is just a little taller

His favourite colours are black, orange, and green

One of the reasons he grew out his hair is because his mother was the one who always trimmed it for him before she died

He also grew it out to hide his ghost scar

He's a MASSIVE gym rat

The guy is absolutely shredded, and legit built like a greek god so rest assured this man has a jacked-up physique

He has a pair of orange/silver headphones he takes almost everywhere with him

A very good dancer, and also has such a beautiful singing voice (he never sings in public)

He plays the drums and guitar

He's definitely the therapist friend (along with Pixal, Zane and Nya)

He sometimes feels a little lonely, especially since almost all of his friends are in relationships (more or less lmao) and he sometimes wishes he had someone like that to confide in

He's bi, hasn't got a particular preference but he also doesn't usually date

He gives the best hugs

Cole's a pretty chill guy, but mess with his friends n he'll pound you into oblivion

He's closest with Jay and Kai, but can actually find himself venting to Zane or Nya all the time

When Lloyd was younger he used to take him to candy shops because he felt bad about rubbing it in his face when they first met

He probably has the closest relationship with Master Wu, except for Lloyd bc their family obviously

He and Vania sometimes stay up all night playing prime empire. She's an absolute boss at the game and Cole's determined to be better than her

He cannot cook to save his life, but something about the instant noodles he always has hits different hehe

Thank you so much for reading!! Lmk if you want me to do any other characters <3

[generalallxsanjishipper]

Some incorrect\extremely correct quotes for my EXTREMELY FAR AWAY IN THE FUTURE ADP FIC (and in part in TIALAMYDK LMAO)

***

Alice *after entering Douxie's mind for several minutes, on the floor*: Oh, wow. Your brain is a disaster

Douxie *also on the floor*: Yeah, I know

Alice : Ever thought about doing drugs?

——

Zoe: Casperan. 

Douxie: Ashildr.  

Zoe: Clumsy dumbass. 

Douxie: Angry Chiwawa. 

Claire: *confused* What are they doing? 

Archie: Insulting contest. 

Claire: Ah. 

Zoe: Old Man. 

Douxie: Dwarf. 

Zoe: Flat ass.

Douxie:  Useless Half Lesbian

Zoe: Knucklehead

Douxie: Mosquito

Zoe: Peter Pan

Douxie: *Suddenly grinning* Pinky pie. 

Zoe: EXCUSE ME?

Douxie: HA! *Claps hands with a smug face* I WON! 

Zoe: HOW DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! I'M GONNA FUCKING END YOU! 

Alice: Now, now… 

——

Douxie: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Douxie: *waves his fingers and sings like he is in a Disney Channel intro*

——

Simon: Why are you on fire?

Douxie: This is just how my day is going.

——

Douxie: Everybody shut up, please! I'm thinking.

Zoe, patting him on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Douxie: Oh, for the bloody sake, Ashildr!

——

Jim: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Alice: How did you find us?

Jim: I saw your ad on craigslist.

——

Alice: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

——

Archie, looking at Douxie, Alice, Simon and Zoe: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

——

Simon, on the phone: Oh, hey man… Sorry for accusing you of murder last week.

——

Alice: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Zoe: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Alice: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Douxie, on a mic that he brought by himself: This is Douxie, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

Douxie:*drops the mic on the floor and leaves, muttering about being a third wheel*

——

Zoe: Mom liked to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

——

Jim: Who's in charge here?

Zoe, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest. So, me.

——

Barbara, seeing both Douxie and Alice on wheelchairs: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Alice: We have three, actually! :D

Douxie: Pick your favorite.

——

Alice: *venting endlessly to Simon about her week*

Simon, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

——

Alice: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that Gods or... God are real.

Nari:*appears*

Alice: WHAT THE FLIP

Athena:*appears too*

Alice:*looses her flipping mind*

——

Zoe, to Claire: Well, one of us has to be wrong and it’s not going to be me.

Claire:

Claire: Yes, it's you, actually.

——

Alice, *talking about Zoe*: She's the girl of my dreams!

Douxie: You say to most of the girls that they are the girl of your dreams.

Alice: I have a lot of dreams.

——

Douxie: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

——

Simon: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you, it'd ruin the mystery.

——

Zoe, *talking about one of her first meeting with Douxie*: And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife several times.

Jim: You mean you stabbed him?

Zoe: He ran into my knife.

Douxie: She ran into my knife, too.

——

Zoe: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are.

Jim: Okay?

Zoe: …

Zoe: …

Zoe: Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so...

——

*Zoe and Alice are texting*

Zoe: Your ass is like…

Zoe: Spacious

Alice: WHAT

Zoe: Sorry, I didn’t want to say fat because it might trigger your ED

——

Bastard number 1:*sarcastically, while leaving* I hope you all make it to adulthood.

Jim: That’s... a great prayer.

Simon: A needed one.

Douxie: A needed one indeed.

——

Simon: I will send my army to attack!

Simon: *makes roaring noises*

Simon: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Jim, next to his Vespa: WHOA

Jim: THEY WERE YOURS????

——

Zoe, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Douxie, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Alice, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Simon, appalled, but looking apathetic: Call the exorcist.

——

Zoe: Alice and I are no longer dating.

Alice: Zoe, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

——

Zoe: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

——

Alice: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Alice: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Toby: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Jim: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Douxie: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

Claire: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Zoe: I hate you guys so much.

——

Alice, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Simon, grabbing his mint gums without looking at her: Zoe's in the kitchen.

[idyllic-affections]

yayyy, so how do you think nilou would take care of a little sibling reader? im the eldest of two so i kinda wanna know what’s like to be youngest- plus i love nilou smm, platonically ofc.

she gets a lot of flack and hate and for what? a ship? 😭 shes literally the sweetest character to ever exist in this fandom </3

nilou as a big sister.

summary. what would nilou be like as a big sister?

trigger & content warnings. none applicable.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. nilou & younger sibling!reader. 0.4k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. FR i dont understand nilou hate?!?!?!? shes so earnestly sweet. i can't understand why people would hate her when she's done nothing wrong!!! as the youngest of two i will do my best to provide you the Younger Sibling Experience 💪

nilou is a very kind and easygoing older sister. she's the kind of person that encourages them to work hard, but is also equally encouraging when it comes to them needing a break.

i feel like she would always validate her sibling's emotions. oh? they're upset but really aren't sure why? well, that's okay. even she feels like that sometimes. maybe that just means it's time to rest.

she would love to take a lil nap with her sibling underneath the sun.

she's 100% the therapist sister.

she'll always find the time to listen to her sibling vent their frustrations. she may offer solutions if that's what they want, or if they just need someone to listen, she'll nod along as they talk, wordlessly letting them know that she is payint attention.

she also has all the patience needed to teach her baby sibling methods to manage their emotions.

speaking of emotions, nilou always encourages her sibling to express them! she never wants them to suppress or bottle up their feelings. it isn't healthy. she doesn't want that for them.

she's the shoulder to cry on.

if they ever just need to cry it out, she'll be there, tenderly guiding their head to lay on her shoulder or in her lap.

i feel like nilou and her sibling would make super cute friendship bracelets for one another!

i think she would want to travel teyvat with her sibling one day. she wants to see the world and she also wants her sibling to have those enriching experiences, those experiences which expose them to other cultures and ways of life.

i also like to think that she would love doing her sibling's hair! she would find it to be both very relaxing and a nice way to bond with them. <3

^ she's so careful and gentle when she does it, too. she never tugs too hard or does anything to make their scalp sore, and if it ends up being sore regardless? she'll gingerly massage the tension out.

definitely would be the kind of sister to sneak her sibling extra sweets even if a parental figure said no LMAO

she would be overjoyed if her sibling shared her interest in dancing!

like, she would take them under her wing and teach them everything she knows about dance. she would be so excited.

imagine nilou's sibling trying to mimic her dances when they think she isn't watching but she really is from behind a corner ahdjhekehgjg....

it would warm her heart tbh. she would be so overwhelmed with joy and love for her sibling that she might cry.

nilou is generally a very good sister.

she's kind, empathetic, and always has her sibling's best interests in mind.

her sibling definitely couldn't ask for better.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[iwishiwasmimi]

3at1ng d1s0rd3r vent;

I hate when people are like it’s so awful not being skinny enough when they’re like 100 pounds with an ED BUT IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH for you EVER. You’ll keep going until you’re dead. I would k myself to look like you and you think you’re fat.. I get it cause when I was small I thought I was fat but after I stopped ⭐️ving and “recovered” on my own I gained 50+ lbs lol and I regret it so much.

I’d rather be that than fat as I AM morbidly obese. Have an ED that doesn’t involve bingeing and be obese lmao nobody will ever believe you and laugh in your face and get laughed at for eating fucking pretzels in class because you skip meals and still look like a fatty. Can’t even live without being reminded of this fat roll on my belly or my massive sausage legs or my jiggly arms or my second boobs or my back fat and how the shop with cute prom dresses didn’t sell my size cause I’m too big.

I went to my PE teacher, therapist, school counselor, and my own fucking mother and nobody helped me cause I wasn’t an0r33x1c looking. I basically got laughed at. Nobody beloved the fatty piggy could starve herself, how could she stave when she’s so fat? Look at her thighs when she walks, look how her belly pours over her shorts. Nobody helped me. NOBODY cared. So don’t think Prince Charming will waltz in to save your a$$ cause he won’t. Nobody will. Your own family won’t. Not unless you’re dying. Nobody cares unless you’re dying. Even then. They only care about the girls who don’t have colored skin. Being brown, fat, AND having an ED? lol give me a break. If I was a white girl id probably be taken serious. Those posts bother me and I know how EDs work. I’ve studied them, I’ve had one for years.

[sinnohqueen]

nobody is awake i can make an embarrassing vent post

lately it's been bothering me more that I just genuinely do not know how I will ever be able to function at a full-time job. like the past year and a half since starting the one I'm at now, I've really improved--haven't called out bc anxiety, became one of the people they call in most bc I am reliable, etc. but also I feel like I have such a long way to go

and I get burnt out so easily. it's part-time and retail and I get like 13-20 hrs a week. if I didn't live with my parents I'd be fucked LMAO but I also obviously don't want to keep doing this. but sometimes working so many days in a row is mentally taxing, I get socially burnt out and irritable, and it's frustrating because I have a customer facing job

I've been asking them to train me on more things that aren't so customer facing (not telling them why ofc lmao just saying I want to be more helpful and learn everything) but I always seem to fuck everything up. idk if it's me being too hard on myself or that I'm incompetent. I ask too many questions, I get caught up in small details bc if I don't have every single little detail known then I get stuck and have to ask MORE questions lmao. and I know it absolutely frustrates my coworkers & managers

I also feel like a lot of the time socializing is like. navigating a fucking minefield. sometimes it's so easy and effortless for me which is weird lol. then other times I just feel like I keep picking the wrong dialogue option in a video game lmao. especially with my boss, some days she's chill and I can talk with her but there are days where I don't know how to read her tone, idk if she's being passive aggressive or she's frustrated with me or what and I don't want to piss her off so I'm afraid to ask but also I need to know if I'm just reading into things wrong and getting upset or what

also I cry so fucking easily I hate it lmao. I get so upset at myself. I want people to tell me if I mess up so I can correct it and learn but at the same time I am SO shit with criticism. and just. idk there's more and I have to get ready for work now and I'm nervous about it lmao. but just idk I don't know what to do, I definitely gotta schedule a therapy appointment and get back to it again but I also don't feel like my therapist gives me good feedback but then again. is it me. I'm just overthinking everything alright bye I'll delete this after work osidfjsdoifjsdf

[sisterofficerlucychen]

Hi there, its me again here to vent 👋🏼

I totally agree with you, in spite of some moments, it was super funny. One thing i love about the show is that is like Brooklyn 99 but lasting 45 minutes and a lot more of police stuff. The scene where she invites everyone to the party and its seen by the bodycams? THAT IS FUNNY.

What we asked for is here, those glances of I HATE YOU but I LOVE YOU from Lucyyy omggg or Tim trying to reach her not knowing how? S1 Tim being all I dontgiveafuckmywifeisanaddictidonttalkaboutit but this time dontgiveafuckbrokemygirlsheartdonttalkaboutit? THE PINING 2.0 IS COMING PEOPLE!!!

I see everyone got stuck in London and the face she makes when she close the door and Tim going there afterhours. But what I can't see bad about it. I mean sure this shrink is quite sketchy BUUUT I see a therapist that worked all day in building trust with a potential patience and is proud that got him to open up and say that need help. AND I also see Tim completly broken... the scene where he talks with Lucy you can see him about to cry and doesnt know what to say, aknowledging he can't give her what she wants (and adult talk) while she tells him he needs more help... Is that what pushes him to go and say Dr London this is URGENT.

Also I read other post where someone states that all this drama with Blair is because she is just a young pretty female AND I COULDNT AGREE MORE. If the therapist was a man or and old lady everyone would be 'ohh yes Tim finally'

Also I will die on this hill → the writers are not idiots, they wont make something so dark like hooking them up and screwing chenford being at risk of loosing the fans and for instance loosing the show, its what feeds their families lol

I gonna trust the process, Melissa's and Eric's sneak peaks, and thats all.

Also thinking about the 'OFFICER DOWN' in the promo thats Tim voice and last week here was a bts video where you can hear OFFICER DOWN ITS CHEN so IM PREPARING MY SELF FOR LUCY HURT TIM PANICKING AND BEING THE FIRST STEP FORWARD (or to become a professional clown)

My vent Is over, see you next week haha

hello, friend! pls vent away! ♡

adlkfjsdas omg yes! it definitely gives b99 vibes when it’s leaning into it’s comedic side~~ especially the funny cold opens remind me so much of it lol. THAT WAS BRILLIANT — i think the choice of filming it through the body cams and the security cam added to the chaos and awkwardness. lucy was so real for that but i will forever cry at tim not being there because he was there with lucy when they met and he practically lived with them.

yes! 😭👀 that first scene with them in the hallway was so angsty but what made it hurt that much more (than what we saw in the promo) was how lucy had just caught smitty in the middle of a betting pool about the break up like no wonder she just bolted and shook her head. THE ANGST WAS ANGST-ING. it hurt but i kind of loved it??? because it highlighted once again their struggle to communicate and be on the same page with one another (the “you know me so well” is fake news atm 😭. YAY ♡ so excited for angst and pining 2.0 eras.

i am definitely said people with the look she gave lmao. i swear as she closed the door there was something in her eyes that just felt off? personally for me it’s just how she’s treated aaron at the bar and then ended up with a hidden recording? especially the latter like that’s the only answer i can come up with because it’s clearly important for them to have added it into the scene but to me, when she turned it off, it didn’t struck me as her covering her ass because she had a moment with her client and she needed to put a stop to it - it felt malicious~~ OMG BUT YES. sketchy or no, dr. blair wasn’t lying when she told aaron she knows what she’s doing because she read tim without hesitation and said things he really needed to hear. tim is so broken rn 💔 yeeeees! the way he tried (and epically failed) at making small talk bc he was so off base but i think that was the first time in the day he actually smiled?? that scene was the angst i was expecting for the entire episode and i’m so glad we got it at the end of the episode because it was so important. i definitely agree with you like i think that was the final push he needed to seek immediate help.

oooh~ that’s a good point, i can see that! i mean for me it’s def just the sus vibes she gave with that video recording. like maybe this is one step past delulu but to the point you just made about how it’d be so different if the therapist was a man or an older woman (agreed), it makes me wonder what the casting call for the therapist was because i feel like that could be telling of the purpose/intention of the character? 

1000000000% - that theory has me a little confused, ngl. like maybe if it were grey’s anatomy and he was owen hunt? but it’s not and that’s absolutely not who tim is even at his lowest and most vulnerable. nothing about that would absolve him from his guilt, it wouldn’t be a way for him to punish himself, and he didn’t break up with lucy because he stopped loving her. i don’t think he’s hooking up with anyone any time soon because this man has completely lost himself and doesn’t think he’s worthy of anything but even if he did, she’d probably be the last person not the first. for sure on them knowing better like they know, they might be tugging at our heat strings but they aren’t going to do something that far-fetched that would add nothing to anyone’s character growth or progress any storyline. 

same ♡ they have yet to give me a reason not to believe them and if they’ve both said this is a needed thing and good things are coming then i’m gonna take their word on that.

YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!!! it’s so interesting that they layered that voiceover in the promo with what’s happening at the hospital because of that bts video eric shared. it’s definitely lucy and celina who get hurt because of how all the bts content lines up (and the synopsis) BUT OOOOH~ THAT’S GONNA HURT SO GOOD. like it’ll be the first time where she’s hurt and he likely can’t comfort her the way she needs?? because dod, he never moved from her bedside; and then with the shooting, he was also by her side reassuring her and ready to help support her. i am curious to see if he full on panics or panics, rushes to her side, and then once he knows she’s alive/okay, retreats? (but i’ll grab the make up and join you if we don’t get hurt lucy and panicked tim lol).

thanks for sharing! appreciated hearing what you had to say! see you next week ♡

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Do u think ty lee could be a good match for zuko ??? lol i don’t know if it’s his internalized misogyny or he genuinely doesn’t like girls that act cute and bubbly because the whole beach episode zuko seems to really dislike everything ty lee is lmao mf called her a shallow circus freak and when ty cry her eyes out and said her teary life story, zuko did NOTHING he said nothing he went back to listening and paying attention to mai lol i do feel bad for the way zuko treat ty that episode i mean she was nothing but compassionate telling him she knows him and zuko was just so mean towards her like genuinely idk why he doesn’t like her buut yeah even if ty lee’s personally compliments him i don’t think zuko will like her or want to be around her unless he has to i mean he literally calls her my sister’s friend not his friend just azula friend and ty lee was gonna let him get boiled by hot water lmao zuko lowkey deserves that for calling her a circus freak hahahah

Now, now, let's not forget that the whole point of The Beach is that Zuko is being asshole - because that's the episode for the Fire Nation teens to vent their problems at each other and commit arson together because they don't have a therapist to go to.

Yes, Zuko WAS being really mean to Ty Lee. That's the point.

And while I think it's pretty likely that Zuko has at least some sexist beliefs considering the setting, I don't think it's fair to say he only lashed out at Ty Lee because she's a bubbly, girly girl and that "offends" him somehow because:

1 - Zuko generally gets along best with people that are more like Mai, Ty Lee's polar opposite (at least before his redemption).

2 - Ty Lee was trying to help him - but Zuko was at the stage of "I don't want help, I want to get mad at someone else to distract me from my anger at myself."

Also while him calling her a circus freak was really mean and uncalled for, let's not pretend that means he'd deserve to get boiled alive - and I don't think Ty Lee was thinking about that AT ALL, she was just trying to prevent a "traitor" from escaping.

[viviennelamb]

Sorry i'm venting here again I couldn't finish earlier and also it's not THAT serious it's a vent so DW I'm not gonna fully describe my situation cause I'm embarrassed and don't feel ready/

i literally don't even have a life now because of my abuser and the most important thing to me which is me. I could have spent my life in bliss of my own energy and I don't know which thing in my energy manifested this tragedy for me. All I ever wanted my whole life is for her to leave me alone but I never got it and now will ever do and Im tired of analyzing this situation and how's right who's wrong what's right what's wrong objective judgements (what decides if it's objectively) like I'm so severely confused about what the fuck happened in my life and how the abuse even isolated me from other humans irls. Abusers abuse in private often and no one outside even knows what you might be going through. All of this suffering makes me question if I'm wrong for being the way I am, I was always called stubborn if I didn't obey my abuser but I also was and am a rebel (which is inherent in my personality not caused tho) cause the environment I am in even genetic one is crazy low consciousness, full of sick people, obesity, low iq, mental and other disabilities and my whole life I was the awakened one even changing my diet at 11(!!!) because seeing people eat what they do horrified me. But my attempts at not being turned into them were sabotaged, I had to treat dumb people as an authority since I was born meanwhile I should have been the leader. Conscious intuitive people are so fucking sabotaged besides the abuse I even have to feel guilt for being smart cause after all they all are my family and family is one and it's love blah blah but how to not get wasted in a low iq environment. People can't understand me and this and the torture forced me to start isolating from a young age, my abuser made me succumb to the tortures and lately I feel so humiliated because I got tired of going against them I felt as if I'm giving in and like it's fucking over like they won like they got a control over me. I don't understand why we are slaves to other humans. Why is physical assault illegal but worse tortures with worse long term consequences okay and not even seen by others not even therapists. It's always seen as a flaw in my character and a mischievous rebellion. These people can't even indulge in complex thinking their logic is flawed and close minded. Seeing people struggle to judge situations correctly is insane it made me obsess over things like guilt or sympathy cause is it wrong to not do something other person wants you to do if it hurts them emotionally? Do we have to care about others emotions? I care in a "I an aware of others emotions and that they have them" but its rare to meet someone like me, what's the ultimate 6 fucking truth and correct judgments!?!?. No one irl ever had been as sensitive gentle shy and intuitive as I am besides my father kinda and his mom but just a little but he's a male and male biology is male biology it wins cause it's their material identity and I'm not that type of a person who worships their father instead of mother. I was literally born with heightened awareness then harvested? by a demon since I believe my abuser is in fact demon possessed for whatever reason once I even had a dream in which I felt physical pain as she was sucking the energy out of my chest. If I caused this to myself even if I couldn't escape most of it then how and what we should be so that we dont manifest bad shit? I want an objective view on this not even "your abuser is a monster" cause ok they are but lately I've been thinking if I'm right or wrong I can't fucking decode this shit am I the black sheep or what. These people are "normies" but how much guilt I feel for calling them that is insane, see I'm almost an empath(which doesn't even mean a person who acts on their empathy or is good and yk how cringe this word is trust me lmao) cause I'm in tune with the fact that others feel. If I'm engaging with an animal or something I intuitively tune into them and if I pick them up or something then my awareness is centered in me trying not to hurt them like my intuition guides my

Karma is complex. The basis of it is if you haven't made any effort to know your soul, you will be brought to Earth to become motivated in learning this aspect of God. From what you're describing, your lesson is likely one of becoming brave. If it's not, it couldn't hurt.

The fact that you're tired of analyzing the situation is a good thing. You're ripe for transformation. People who are stuck in that loop aren't receptive to a way out of that mindset because they actually enjoy it and feel safe in that habit. Your isolation is a sign to turn to God as well. You're getting all the signs here, all you need to do is act.

People will tell you talk to others to heal, but relating to other people's trauma isn't actually healing, you will fall into another codependent situation. Stop worrying about empathy, guilt, and sympathy as well. These emotions have been manipulated in everybody since birth and, as a result, bring everybody out of Presence. For example, when somebody is attacking, you, you will automatically feel guilty for even thinking about fighting back even though they attacked you first. This mind control is even more prominent in school than learning that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. School was essentially about telling you not to stand up to bullies, to turn us into prison bitches for the rest of our lives.

Low IQ people are 100% physical which is why their only concern will only be appearance. Work on not caring what they think about you. You need to become rooted in God and if you've read the Bible, God wiped out evil. What they think doesn't matter. Moreover, if you want to see Karma at work, just listen to the way they talk. People who are karmically favored don't speak and act the way they do.

No, you don't have to care about emotions. Understand that in the sex-addicted world, the ordinary person's nervous system isn't right. Their interpretation of reality is false and they will demand that you bow to their Egos instead of submit to the Truth of Reality.

Why be in tune with what other people feel? Save all that love and empathy for God. You still have yet to fully grasp the situation you're in. Start by retracting all your senses within. Once you let emotions leak out, your abuser will detect it and feast. Even when they're temporarily nice, don't reciprocate it because that is manipulation also. They can tell you're looking for some relatability or just some compassion, and they'll dangle it in front of you then crush. These individuals are experts at manipulation because they never knew how to communicate or control their emotions and are completely disconnected from their souls. Having control over your communication and emotions is better than sex.

[dead-air-radio]

Omg here's me just talking about my day so if you're here for gore and sexual stuff this is not it. This is more like a rant/vent lmao so if you're here for me this is for you lmao

Bro I need you guys to understand how much I love this friend of mine. Like not in a romantic or platonic way like neither. He's genuinely like god I don't know what I'd do without him he's literally family, him and their gf are literally closer to me than my actual family and they are in fact my family. Like okay family lore guys gather round but when I had first met my ex it was by one of my best friends if your an Og you know her as M. And pretty much she had 2 best friends that were her ride or die for like 7years and one was my ex and the other was the dude I'm talking about in the beginning I legit might as well just call him my dad cause we'll he is. He was there for me throughout me and my exes relationship and he'd talk with me a lot and we like bonded instantly into like mentor type ass bond. And when my ex started becoming more and more abusive I thought my dad( my friend) would side with him cause yknow people usually side with the person they know longer and they were best friends. And at first I'd talk about it and he never once made me feel like he thought I was lying or that he didn't care. Ofc in the beginning he chopped my ex being so harsh and stuff to 'oh that's always him he's my brother and he'd do nothing like that on purpose I'll give him a talk and just know it's okay to tell me these things etc etc." At the time he was in a bit of disbelief cause well the way my ex acted towards people was like slowly ramping up.

And then I full on had confessed to my dad how he would do certain things (which I didn't even consider rape or abuse at the time) and immediately he just blocked him he sent a message before he did to my ex being like " hey the way you treat Sawyer who you know I see as my son is not smth I want in my life and if you don't cut the shit I don't want to talk to you nor do I want you going around sawyer" (when I read these messages i cried so hard lol I love my dad sm) also my dad (still talking about my friend guys lol) he's a pyshcology major and he's becoming a therapist and when I was trying to detach myself from my ex it was really hard cause I thought I deserved it and it didn't count as rape etc etc.

Pretty much I didn't want to write this man out to be a rapist especially to his 2 best friends. When I had told them about what he did to me it was as a reason why I was gonna stop talking to all of them cause I didn't want to paint him to be a bad person and that i knew if i kept talking about it to them they wouldn't like him so I was basically just trying to pretend like I was never introduced to them so they could keep liking my ex as their brother. But both have stayed by my side even after me n my ex stopped talking. They hate him which makes me feel guilty but I'm glad they've been here with me. I would not be alive if it wasn't for M and my dad. (This is the ex that made me stop using all socials and cut myself off the face of the earth and decided maybe I should try tumblr cause no one I know uses it and I could vent there so you can thank him for you guys hearing this ig lolz)

Anyways lore aside present time so my ex lived a couple hrs away from me but in the same state and M lives like a couple mins from me but my dad lives in a whole other different state and I've only seen him once in person and it was the week my ex and me stopped talking and the week I almost committed suicide but like after my attempt the next day he was pretty much at my door and it was so amazing I love him so much. And then after that day he had to go drive back home :( and it's been almost a year since I first saw him.

Cut to today and he surprised me last week saying how I'd feel if we went out to eat. And I'm like bro I'd love that but your not here only for him to say he'd be coming to see me and we hung out today for the second time in person and guys I'm literally in love with this man like not romantically like idk hoe to express that this dude is literally my dad I love him like he's my own blood. And he got me sushi and refused to let me pay. He got mad at me anytime I looked at price tags lol.

He's just so great. We only had 5hrs to hangout and he surprised me with a new skateboard so we went skating together too and now the day is over and he's already on his way home :( I miss him so much anyways this post was just me talking about how much I love my dad lol and I'll post pics of my skate board too <3. This genuinely was one of my fav days I loved seeing him and I got a gift from his gf (literally my mom lol) and it's a little wolf stuffy. And they said it reminded them of me. Cause even irl people joke about me being a puppy/dog boy lol. Anyways guys I'm not fatherless lmao. I just miss them and it's gonna make me sad they had to leave lmao