#so that’s nice to know she checks the ao3 tags once in a blue moon . hope she appreciates my qantoine characterisation when i get around to

[ahalliance]

the chances of florence angle droit seeing your qsmp french fanfic on ao3 are low but never zero

[all-or-nothing-baby]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

@slytherkins and @shealynn88 my loves, thank you both muchly for my tags! it may have taken me 6months (+?!) to get to this... but LET'S GO! lol.

(okay i'm a proper rebel me so i'm picking my FAVES FROM 5 FANDOMS instead bc nobody can stop meeeeeee mwuhahaha!)

NOTE: if you're going to read any of these fics, firstly tysm ily <3. secondly and most importantly, PLS CHECK THE REST OF THE TAGS ON AO3 AS I'VE ONLY LISTED A SELECT FEW HERE.

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1. STRANGER THINGS (Harringrove)

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HOUNDS OF LOVE (Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Canon Universe, Past Underage, Angst, Semi-public Sex, Porn with Love, POV Billy, 2282, EXPLICIT)

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Billy has always been a coward. Ever since—ever since Her. Since she did the double-up on him. Since she switched off and let her light go out of his life forever by taking off and leaving Billy Boy Blue's sorry ass behind.

Harrington doesn’t know any of this though. Nobody does. Nobody will. And nobody should anyways because Billy, he shouldn't be so pathetic. He’s supposed to suck it up and shut the fuck up not moon over it, not be a little pussy while he's getting his boy-pussy railed. And he certainly shouldn't be moaning through this feral fucking need of his like some frilly pink-pantied cheerleader, hell.

Never did know what was good for you, boy.

OR

Billy just wants to get royally fucked.

Doesn't want this. Doesn't want to be coddled. Doesn't want to be treated nice. Doesn't want some rich boy's dumb lovin'.

Even if he actually, really does.

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CHERRY BOMB SERIES (Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Canon Universe, Pining, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Getting Together, POV Steve Harrington, Teen-Explicit)

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A collection of Harringrove fics which hopefully read well as stand-alones BUT will also eventually—and are intended to—make up one big Steve Harrington POV 'Five times Steve wonders... & One Time He Doesn't Have To' Getting Together story.

EDIT: Now with an added little interlude in the middle which will bump up the final number of works.

Updates as and when xp

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2. SUPERNATURAL (deancas)

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THE LAST TIME (Castiel/Dean Winchester, AU—Modern Setting, Sex-work, Not Really Non-requited, POV Dean, 2269, MATURE)

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Hey, baby. Wanna spend the night with an angel?

No such thing, Dean had tried. But it had come out as a question, a challenge. An almost Prove me wrong... please? And with a smile which he couldn't have helped if he'd tried.

OR

Hurt/Comfort Modern Sex Worker AU where maybe fate and free will can exist side by side.

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WET EARTH'S CALLED MUD (Castiel/Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Angst, First Kiss, Getting Together, POV Dean, 1905, TEEN)

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Dean, I've got you

And I realise: he always has me.

Sheet and fork lightning fires up the whole sky and thunder cracks its huge whip above us, clouds bursting like huge water balloons, the downpour soaking us in seconds.

Everything is terrifying.

OR

Fix-It-Fic for Jack in the Box WHERE THEY ACTUALLY TALK DAMMIT. And maybe do the thing they should've been doing for 11 bloody years.

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THE DAY THE WORLD WENT AWAY (Castiel/Dean Winchester, Endverse AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending (as much as endverse can be), POV Dean, Porn with Love, 7346, EXPLICIT)

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Dean had come to apologise. To thank Cas. But pieces of Cas' broken heart were now on show, stabbing right through his beautiful face, slicing through Jimmy's muscles and skin. Dean could see it all now, pouring out through the jagged cuts; fear, shame, all the hurt—the lion's share of it of which Dean himself had caused. Cas was now wearing his pain on full display all over his body, like a shiny fucking outfit of the day.

Dean had never hated himself more. Even after torturing an endless stream of once-human souls in hell.

Cas let the pistol drop to the floor.

"Then what, Dean?" he choked, "why are you here?" His wet eyes searched Dean's with such wretched frustration, Dean couldn't take it a second longer. Had to make it go away, end the pain. Ironically, Dean realised, he did want to make everything stop for Cas—for both of them—even if only for a little while. Just not by means of a bullet.

How the hell do you make the whole world just stop?

OR

Quite possibly the only not-completely-100%-gut-wrenching Endverse fic you might ever find.

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THURSDAY'S SMILE (Canon Universe, First Kiss, Getting Together, Proof I Can Write Fluff, POV Dean, 1381, TEEN)

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Cas walked around the stainless steel kitchen island to Dean's side, his eyes now keen on the square of dressing protecting a nasty cut on the left side of Dean's forehead. As he reached his destination, his right knee automatically slid between Dean's knees to part them, allowing him to stand in between—and closer to Dean. Like, a lot closer.

Dean tried his best to take a slow and secret, calming deep breath.

It didn't help. Now his sense of smell was just reaffirming what his heart was already screaming at him with each beat:

CAS-CAS, YES-YES, CAS-CAS, YES-YES

Cas peeled back the surgical tape and lifted the gauze to check the cut.

And then it just kind of... happened. Dean was tired, hadn't even had his first essential cup of joe yet, let alone the necessary second. It was just a dumb joke, really.

OR

When it finally happens, it's on a Thursday.

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3. TEEN WOLF (sterek)

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LOVE LIKE GHOSTS (Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Canon Universe, Established Relationship, Stiles Has Self-esteem Issues, Choking, Consensual Non-consent, POV Stiles, 713, EXPLICIT)

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They both know not talking about this isn't okay, isn't healthy, but—and God knows why—Derek loves Stiles. So, the big guy, he gets it: that the best thing isn't always the right thing.

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DRAW YOUR SWORDS (Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Canon Universe, Angst, Pining, Getting Together, POV Derek, 7914, EXPLICIT)

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Something inside Derek snaps. No, not snaps. Clicks into place. He snarls, "That's my line, little pig."

Shit.

Stiles blinks, twice. Three times. "What?" and he’s flailing at Derek's reference.

"If you're the little pig…" Derek's predator eyes flick deftly across each of Stiles' delicate features, "...then what does that make me?" 

Realisation crosses sharp yet soft bone structure and Stiles answers, slowly.

"You're the big…"

Derek moves impossibly closer.

"...bad…"

A goddamn virus.

"...wolf."

OR

Derek keeps his distance from Stiles, regardless of how he feels about him. It's better that way. Better for Stiles.

But when Stiles has had enough of pretending there's nothing between them, just how much longer can Derek's wolf be tamed?

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INCLUDES MY ART!

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THE CROSS HE BEARS (Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Canon Universe, Established Relationship, Wolf!Derek (for a time), Derek Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-slash, POV, Derek, 702, MATURE)

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Stiles knows exactly how to take care of his wolf.

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4. BBC SHERLOCK (jimlock)

MY NAME IS A KILLING WORD (Jim Moriarty/Sherlock Holmes, Canon Universe, First Kiss(es), Sherlock's First Time, Getting Together, Jim Moriarty in Love, POV Jim, 671, MATURE)

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He's so funny. Not to them. But to me, he's so funny.

The first time I kissed him—up against a wall, John just around the corner, Sherlock taller than me but certainly feeling small—he was bait on my hook. So much so, I was sure he'd squirm as such but he froze. A museum pillar of what the fuck? Didn't struggle as I tasted Stiff Upper Lip whilst trying to coax out a passion I just knew he had buried inside of him. Then he whispered Moriarty, like a question, and it was hilarious. Hilarious because it was so infuriatingly Sherlock, and hilarious 'cause it was hot as naked sin, I remember thinking as I spirited away, giggling.

OR

The first time Sherlock finally calls his nemesis by his given name. (Moriarty POV).

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5. PREACHER (the unholy trinity)

WELL, I HEARD THERE WAS A SECRET CHORD (Proinsias Cassidy/Jesse Custer/Tulip O'Hare, Canon Universe, Established Relationship, Poly Relationship—F-M-M, PWP, Light Dom/Sub, POV Tulip, 1326, EXPLICIT)

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How do the Unholy Trinity manage to turn anything remotely pious into something truly ungodly?

Like fucking pros, that's how.

With Tulip hating on Genesis, she finds a way to take back a little control... with the help of a certain raucous Irish vampire.

OR

The PWP Dom!Tulip Sub!Jessidy fic nobody asked for.

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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TUMBLR DON'T EAT THIS IT'S TAKEN ME FORACTUALBLOODYEVER!

[mxbeezkneez]

Graveyard Companions

Chapter 2: i'm coming back from the dead, and i'll take you home with me

Link to ao3: x

Warnings: Blood, Minor Injury, Cursing

Fandoms: The Addams Family

Relationships: Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams, Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams/Reader, Gomez Addams/Reader, Morticia Addams/Reader

Tags: Vampire, Vampire Turning, Human/Vampire Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Married Couple, Blood, Polyamory, Eventual Romance, Eventual Relationship, Pre Relationship, Cursing

Summery: “I’m a vampire… a goddamn vampire,” you whisper.You wake up in the living room of a gothic house, and are told you were found unconscious in a graveyard. They claim you are a vampire. As crazy as it is, you can't help but start to trust the couple who found you.

Chapter notes: hi i'm back! i started thinking about the addams family, and well my interest in vampires didn't rlly diminish much... this chapter's pretty long, so i hope you enjoy! i apologize if my french or spanish is bad, i don't speak french, and i only speak a bit of spanish! i actually have like a whole plot n stuff planned, so i'm pretty hyped for this fic! hope u like it! :) (the title is from it's not a fashion statement, it's a fucking death wish by my chemical romance)

You wake up to a loud bang, bolting straight up out of bed. “What the hell?”

You rub your eyes before slipping out of bed. The night before feels very far away, almost unreal, but being in this room confirms your memories. You’re staying in the Addams’ house and are… a vampire. You take a slow breath before grabbing new clothing. You find a pair of black pants to match a dark sweater. While near the dresser, you look out of the room’s window. It’s dark outside, the sky a navy blue sprinkled with stars. The graveyard behind the house is illuminated by the moon shining over it.

You leave your room, deciding to try and find the living room once again. You wander through the halls before finding it. Inside you find Wednesday, the small girl, playing with a younger blond boy. She’s talking to him while holding a headless doll in her arms. You walk farther into the room, stepping on a squeaky board, alerting the children of your presence.

They both turn their heads to stare at you. You nervously chuckle.

Wednesday points at you, “That’s (y/n),” she tells the boy, “I heard father say they’re a vampire.”

“Wow really?” the boy exclaims, “Is it true? Do you drink blood?”

“Um,” you stammer, “Well, I am a vampire, but I haven’t been one very long so- no I haven’t drank any blood. Uh… what’s your name again?”

“I’m Pugsley,” he reaches over and offers his hand.

You shake it, “Well, nice to meet you Pugsley. What are you guys up to?”

“We’re playing the French Revolution,” Wednesday answers flatly.

You chuckle, “Huh. I mean I guess it was an exciting time. Who’s your doll there?” you point to the headless doll in her hands. To be honest, the beheaded doll was very unnerving, but the children themselves seemed nice enough, so you push your nerves to the side.

“Marie Antoinette” she says matter of factly.

“Oh,” you pause, “Explains the lack of head I guess.”

You stand there awkwardly for a moment, unsure of how to exit the conversation. “Do either of you know where your parents are?” you ask.

“I saw them in the dining room earlier. Uncle Fester was there, but I think he went upstairs to play with his dynomite caps,” Pugsley replies. Uncle Fester? Dynomite caps? There’s too much to unpack there, so instead you decide to find Gomez and Morticia.

“Okay, thanks.”

You head out the door, realizing you have no idea where the dining room is. You go to turn back, but the children are playing animatedly and you don’t want to interrupt, so instead you look for it yourself.

You find the dining room, and sure enough, Gomez and Mortica are seated next to each other at a long table. You walk over and take a seat near them.

“(Y/n)! How’d you sleep?” Gomez greets you.

“Like the dead,” you say flatly. A second later what you’ve said hits you and you blink slowly, “I mean, I slept well, thanks.”

“You did seem rather tired last night,” Morticia remarks, “I’m glad you got some rest.”

“Wait, did I sleep through an entire day?” you ask.

“Yes, though we did tell Lurch not to disturb you,” she answers, “We thought you needed the sleep. How are you feeling?”

“I feel…” you take a moment to survey yourself, “I feel okay. I think if anything I feel a little hungry.”

“We can get that squared away! Mama makes the best yak stew.” Gomez springs from his chair and over to a rope hanging from the ceiling. Remembering last night, you brace for a loud noise. Sure enough, once he pulls it, the house shakes as the ringing travels through the house.

“You rang,” Lurch grumbles.

“Yes Lurch, a bowl of yak stew for our guest!” Lurch groans and exits.

“Thank you,” you tell them, “You’ve both been very hospitable, I’m thankful you were the ones that found me.” You feel sincerity in that statement, you were not only grateful for their help, but another part of you has some feeling when you’re near them. You’re not sure what the feeling is, though you can confidently say you didn’t mind the couple, or hell, the weird household in general. Even if it is kooky, you can’t say you’re not charmed by their life.

Lurch comes back with a silver platter that he sets on the table. On it is a bowl of stew that he places in front of you.

“Thanks,” you say, before grabbing the spoon and looking back at the meal. Lurch takes his leave. You’re unsure about eating yak, but you are also hungry and the stew looks fairly appetizing. You take a scoop and put it in your mouth, surprised not only by the flavor of the soup, but also the feeling of chewing. It’s like you can feel your canines rip through the meat faster than before. In the time where you’ve been thinking, it’s completely slipped your mind that you probably have fangs now. That you’ve changed.

“This is- this is actually really good,” you remark.

“I told you, Mama is a culinary genius! Nothing beats her yak stew!” Gomez gleams.

You smile at Gomez. Something about him just makes you want to smile in a soft admission of admiration.

You turn your attention back to the stew, eating it quickly until there is nothing left.

“I’m glad you enjoyed Mama’s cooking,” Morticia smiles, “I’ll have to tell her you enjoyed it. It’s not very often she gets to feed guests.”

“It is very odd, usually most people never come back after eating her food… I can’t imagine why…” Gomez says with a puzzled expression on his face. You chuckle. You notice that you find yourself enjoying the Addams’ company immensely. A part of you feels sad that you will eventually have to leave.

“Ah, c'est la vie (that’s life) ,” Morticia remarks.

“Tish!” Gomez’s head swivels quickly to face her, “That’s French!” he exclaims, grabbing her arm. He begins to kiss it, from her hand to her shoulder, though is interrupted by Morticia, “Darling. We have company. Later,” she says with a sly grin. Gomez raises his head to meet her eyes, a dazed look on his face. “Later.” he remarks, before finding himself back in his seat, “So, Hester, any plans for the night?” he asks casually.

“Um…” you stutter, flustered by the show of passion from the man sitting across from you, “I- I don’t really know… I mean, I’m a vampire now so- does that mean I have to act like one too? I’ve never been in a situation like this, I don’t really know what to do,” you admit, staring at your hands. You look up towards Morticia, “Didn’t you mention you’ve known vampires before? Could you maybe help me?”

“Of course, darling.” Morticia says, “Why don’t we talk in the living room? If you’re alright with it, the children would enjoy listening, they are curious creatures.”

“Yeah, that’s alright. They asked me a question or two when I ran into them earlier. I don’t blame them for being curious,”

“Pugsley’s been very interested in nonhuman creatures lately, ever since that run in with that werewolf he’s been wanting to know more. Wednesday’s been teaching him some things, she’s always had a firm grasp on certain folklore!” Gomez said proudly.

The three of you walked to the living room and sat down, them on the couch, and you in a chair facing them. The children were still in the room, sitting on the floor. You fidget with your hands nervously. “So, do I have superpowers or anything now?” you half-heartedly joke.

“Vampires have very fast healing capabilities,” Wednesday states, “They are very difficult to kill, they must be stabbed with a stake to the heart or decapitated.”

“Very good Wednesday,” Morticia smiles.

“Huh,” you respond, “Alright, that’s not too bad.”

“There are certain weaknesses that should be mentioned, such as sunlight, garlic, crucifixes and running water.” Morticia adds.

“Wait I can’t eat garlic anymore?” you ask, “That kinda sucks, huh.”

“Well technically you can eat anything if you try hard enough,” Gomez says offhandedly.

Morticia cocks an eyebrow at him and sighs, “It’s not so much deadly, it’s more like a food allergy.”

“So I can still eat things with garlic in it?” you double check.

“As long as you aren’t a coward!” Gomez says enthusiastically.

You let out a laugh at Gomez. Wednesday is rolling her eyes, though Morticia just keeps looking at him lovingly. For a moment you forget about the obvious question hanging in the air.

“So…” you start, “I have to drink blood now?” you ask nervously.

“Yes, all vampires must ingest blood to keep themselves alive,” Morticia says, “You’ve got to be hungry by now I imagine,”

“Yeah… but I just ate.” you reply.

“You can still eat food, it just will never fill you. In order not to starve you have to drink blood.” she explains.

You look down at your shaking hands. Everything before now had felt unreal, but this? The seriousness in her voice is making everything too real for you. How could you possibly do that to someone?

“I- I don’t know if I can do that…” you voice shakes, “I mean- how… how could I?”

“Children,” Morticia addresses them, “Why don’t you go play with Uncle Fester while we talk with Hester.”

“Awwww, do we have to?” Pugsley complains.

“A vampire’s eating habits are quite personal Pugsley. I’m afraid so.”

“Alright,” he sighs and follows Wednesday out of the room.

“If you need help procuring someone, you just have to ask. Gomez and I would of course be willing to provide.”

“Provide…?”

“Bodies of course.” Gomez affirms.

“Human bodies,” you repeat, your mind reeling. You had noticed the family was quite odd, even creepy at times, but what they were offering? It sounded too close to murder. You suddenly become very aware of where you are: in a strange house with strangers. Your hands become clammy.

“Is everything alright darling?” you hear Morticia ask. Your throat swells up. You try to force words out, but nothing will leave you lips, leaving you in what is now panic. Finally something spills out, “You can’t kill people for me! You- you can’t!” you sputter out.

“Kill people?” Gomez repeats, “Why we’d bring them alive of course.”

You let out a breath, “Okay, alive. I mean- I just still don’t think I can…”

“Well I suppose there is another option,” Gomez adds.

“What? What is it?” you ask, hopeful.

“Animal blood! It doesn’t work as well, but it’ll do in a pinch.” he explains.

You perk up, “I can do that. That works.” you feel relief.

“Should we make some arrangements? The children could fetch some for tonight.” Morticia asks.

“You have been so kind, really. I would appreciate it, at least for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll work on leaving, I’ve been here long enough.”

“It’s been our pleasure,” Gomez responds, lighting a cigar, “It’s been so long since we’ve had guests.

“Well you certainly are great hosts,” you smile. Despite your situation, you’ve found yourself fairly comfortable here.

“Thank you,” Morticia says, “Now, we ought to ring for Lurch to get some blood. I’m sure the children would love to accompany him.” As she reaches for the bell, you ready yourself for the loud ring. Lurch walks in, “You rang?”

“Yes Lurch, could you gather the children and find some animal blood for our guest here?”

“Yes, Mrs. Addams,” he drawls. He leaves the room in search of the children. A quiet silence falls over the room. Deciding to strike up conversation, you pipe up a question, “So, when did you two meet?”

“Oh, on the best day of my life,” Gomez grins proudly,

“We met at a funeral,” Mortica explains, “It was a lovely day. Grey clouds filled the sky, thunder rolling in the distance.”

“Oh cara mia, I remember it like it was yesterday, our eyes meeting over the coffin,” Gomez starts, “I swear the whole funeral party had to be half as enchanted with you as I had been.” You notice the two of them becoming more enveloped in their memories of each other. You can’t help but smile at how truly in love they are, even if that love meant that you would sit there awkwardly wondering if they were going to just make out in front of you.

“Oh mon cher, you are as charming as you were back then.”

Gomez’s eyes dart up, “Tish! That’s French!” He grabs her arm and starts kissing it.

“Gomez darling,” she warns, “Later.”

He looks up dazed, “Oh yes, our guest. Where were we?” he asks.

“I think you’ve answered my question,” you smile awkwardly.

“Do you have anyone special back home?” Morticia asks politely.

“Well…” you begin to explain“There is this one guy, my roomate, I guess… but I don’t think he likes me like that.” you explain.

“Tiene que estar loco si no le gusta, eres muy guapo. (He must be crazy if he doesn’t like you, you are very handsome.) ” Gomez comments under his breath. You feel your face heat up. He must not know you speak Spanish, judging by how offhandedly he said it. You look over to Morticia who nods ever so slightly, making you even more flustered.

“Uh… gracias, pero… sabes que hablo Español, sí? (Uh… thank you, but… you know I can speak Spanish, yes?) ” you ask. Gomez’s hand, which was placed on Morticia’s knee, now grips it somewhat tightly. Morticia looks over to him in curiosity. His face seems flushed.

“¿Comprendes lo que yo digo? (You understand what I’m saying?) ” he asks tentatively.

“Sí, aprendí a hablar en Español en la escuela. (Yes, I learned to speak in Spanish in school.) ”

“Oh,” a breath leaves his mouth. His eyes keep darting back and forth like he doesn’t know what to do. You can tell his weight has registered onto the balls of his chair like he is about to leap off his seat, but something is keeping him grounded. You look back at Morticia, who seems about as intrigued as you. A heavy silence fell over the room as everyone sat on edge.

Breaking the awkward scene, Lurch walks in with heavy footsteps holding a platter, “Your blood.”

He sets the platter down on the table, removing the lid. On the platter is a wine glass with a dark red liquid in it. As soon as you see the glass you can smell it, the blood. Rather than smelling rancid, the metallic scent smelled like everything you could ever want. You quickly grab the glass with both hands and hold it up to your lips, gulping down the liquid. The taste of it floods your mouth, though some of it dribbles down to your chin as you frantically consume it. You drink the last drop and set down the glass, looking up.

“Shit,” you curse under your breath. You wipe off your chin with the back of your sleeve. “Sorry, I- I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s quite alright,” Morticia affirms, “You’ve just been turned, I’m surprised you’ve gone this long without blood… well I guess there was last night.” You wince at the mention of that encounter. Trying to change the subject, you ask, “What happens if I can’t get blood?”

“Well, either you go to any length to get it out of pure hunger, or if you don’t, you die,” Morticia explains, “So it’s best you feed regularly.”

“So is that why I…” you try to think of a way to phrase it, “Why I don’t feel much restraint when I see blood?”

“Yes, though you’ll get more constraint as it goes on.”

“Oh, okay. By the way, I’m not keeping you up, am I? It has to be pretty late. I mean, I guess I’m already a night owl, so this isn’t too unusual for me, but you two probably should sleep, right?” you ask.

“If you don’t mind, I would like to get some sleep. Perhaps tomorrow if you plan on leaving, we can help you get back?” she asks.

“Yeah, that’d be great. And of course, go get some sleep. I’ll just hang out for a bit.” you say, putting on a small smile.

“Alright, good night then,” Mortica says.

“Goodnight Hester.” Gomez says.

“Goodnight.”

You stay in the living room much longer after they leave, lost in your thoughts. The weight of your new life- or death has started to sink in. Your mind drifts to drinking the blood earlier. The feeling of it had been great, though immediately after your chest felt heavy. You don’t suppose it has anything to do with your newfound changes. No, instead you recognize the feeling as the weight of your guilt.

You can’t help but wonder what kind of creature feeds off the life force of others. You try to reason with yourself by saying it’s like eating animals, yet you can’t accept the notion. This had felt different. Looking back to having Morticia’s blood makes your face flush, but you can’t also help but notice the difference from tonight. While the animal blood was good, and mostly filling, Morticia’s blood, human blood, brought a type of euphoria.

You didn’t need Morticia to spell it out for you. Using animal blood works as a substitute, but you know deep down you are now meant to feed on humans. The realization hits you as you think that. You are no longer human. On this thought your heart aches. What does this make you. Confused? Scared? Yes, those both applied. You feel lost.

You feel anxious thinking about going home tomorrow. Going home means it’s real. It means you have to face your roommate who you’re in love with and somehow not let him know you’re a vampire. You let out a huff. God, how are you supposed to do this? You take a small amount of solace knowing you have the Addam’s help. You’re glad they’ll help you get back home, you don’t think you could do it alone. You know even if you never speak to them again, their impact will be left on you forever.

You get up off the couch, deciding to go to sleep. You trudge to your room and plop onto the bed with a sigh. Eventually you drift off to sleep.

[here4theheartbreak]

Breadsticks & a Boyfriend (kth/jjk)

AO3 Link Here!

Relationships: Jungkook x Taehyung Genre: smut, pwp Final Rating: Explicit Word Count (Chapter): ~3.4k

Tags (more added as needed): smut, PWP, strangers to lovers, rough sex, dirty talk, sex toys, face fucking, coming untouched, shy Jungkook

Summary: When Taehyung took a simple order of pizza, breadsticks, and a soda to a customer on a rainy day, he had no idea how good his tip would be.

A/N: This fic was written for the @bangtanwritingbingo Summer Bingo square Jungkook x Taehyung and also for @venusiangguk who requested TaeKook with prompt #11: “Is it an oral fixation or do you just not want to talk to me?”

The life of a pizza delivery boy was far more interesting than one would think. Though it was a lower end, minimum wage job, for someone like Taehyung, it was excellent. He was a natural social butterfly. Outgoing, bright, vibrant, always seeking to make new friends. This job allowed him to meet a whole variety of people. Who didn’t like pizza? Upper class, snobby elite individuals, right down to the barely surviving folks who managed to scrape together enough for a small delivery once in a blue moon – Taehyung loved meeting them all. 

It was a Friday. It was payday. It was a good day. At least, until the clouds rolled in, darkening the sky and bringing thunder. And unfortunate torrents of rain. But a delivery boy doesn’t get a day off, and orders tended to only increase when the weather was this cruddy. 

Taehyung didn’t mind. Not really. He could handle a little rain and he had a sturdy car. 

The delivery was simple. A large pepperoni pizza, a small order of breadsticks, and a 2 liter of Coke. Simple. Probably a parent with a young child, a college age student, or a babysitter. Should be quick. Probably not a great tip for any of them, but that was okay; he’d had a big delivery to a house party earlier and had made a massive tip… And gotten a cute boy’s number. Taehyung was handsome, so it happened more than one would assume. The jokes about wanting to sleep with the pizza boy weren’t always jokes. Not that he’d ever go through with any of it. It was simple flirtation, it helped with tips. Taehyung figured he’d have to find someone pretty damn special to actually call them back. 

The rain seemed to come down harder as Taehyung drove to the address on his GPS. He reached a cute little house with a nicely kept yard. It was a little bit of a walk from where he was able to park to the porch… The driveway would offer a little more protection and a little shorter distance… Normally he didn’t park in driveways; people tended to sometimes get a little angry – but considering the circumstances…

Taehyung pulled into the driveway, nosing as close as he dared to the garage door. He grabbed the pizza bag and covered it carefully with a plastic sheet before pulling up his hood and getting out. He raced from the driveway to the front door, relaxing only when he was safely on the porch. He knocked once, putting on a broad smile. 

The door opened a crack, and then a little further, and then all the way. And Taehyung, for what it was worth, forgot how to breathe.

Standing in the doorway was the most stunning young man he’d ever seen. The man was just a little shorter than he was, with shaggy brown hair that swooped down nearly over his eyes, parted enough to peek his forehead. He wore thick silver hoops in his ears, two in his right and one in his left. His plush mouth and round nose matched his face perfectly, and dark eyes drew Taehyung in almost immediately. The man’s beauty wasn’t lowered or altered in the slightest by the fact that he was wearing a sweater and sweats, his feet bare. He smiled softly, his nose crinkling up. 

Taehyung beamed. “Hey. Pizza. You’re…” He glanced at the nametag on the receipt. “Jeon Jungkook?”

Jungkook nodded. He glanced over Taehyung shoulder, his small smile drooping. “Come inside,” he said softly, stepping aside. 

“Oh, thank you.” Taehyung stepped inside just enough for Jungkook to close the door, and crouched to take out the food. He handed it over to Jungkook quickly. “Pouring out there,” he commented.

“Flooding,” Jungkook agreed. 

Taehyung scowled at that. He turned, glancing out the window. As Jungkook had commented, the streets were nearly filled with water, pouring in rivets in certain areas. Taehyung’s body went cold. “Oh God, it got worse.”

“Doesn’t look safe to drive in,” Jungkook muttered. 

Taehyung sighed heavily. He turned back and smiled as best he could. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

He turned to grab the doorknob, but Jungkook rushed forward, grabbing his wrist. 

“It’s a flash flood. News said it was dangerous. You should stay until it’s lightened up.” His voice was soft and timid, barely above a whisper. Either he was terrified, or truly the shiest man in the city. But he seemed genuine in his concern, and Taehyung felt a strange peace come over him at that.

“I’ll call my boss.” Taehyung turned and pulled out his phone, dialing his boss’ number.

“Kim Taehyung! Are you safe? It got so bad out there, I was worried sick.”

“I’m fine. I’m at the last customer’s house.”

“I shouldn’t have sent you out in this mess. Can you make it back?”

“The roads are pretty flooded. I was calling to ask if I could stay out. Until they clear up. I’ll work extra hours tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it. Stay safe. Do you know the customer?”

“No, but he’s letting me stay until it clears up. I’ll let you know when I make it home.”

“Thank you, keep me updated.”

Taehyung hung up and smiled. “She’s okay with me not going back. Uh… Thanks for letting me hide out here until the weather lightens.”

Jungkook nodded. He looked down at the food in his hands and turned, setting it on his table. He turned back, chewing his bottom lip. 

Taehyung blinked, unsure what to do. He watched Jungkook disappear through a doorway and then return, holding out a paper plate toward Taehyung. 

“Are you offering me lunch?” Taehyung asked. Jungkook nodded, pulling open the pizza box. 

“Thanks.” Taehyung kicked his shoes off and hung his hoodie before he stepped up, taking a slice of the pizza. “I’m Kim Taehyung.” He stuck out his hand. Jungkook smiled shyly and shook it. He opened his mouth to answer and then closed it, grabbing a breadstick and sticking it into his mouth instead.

Taehyung laughed a little.

He sat at the table, watching Jungkook eat.

“Do you live alone?” He asked. Jungkook swallowed the bite he had in his mouth and nodded, quickly adding more food to his mouth. 

Their lunch continued in that manner – Jungkook would answer yes or no answers, always adding food to his mouth, a drink, or biting on something to keep his mouth too full to give Taehyung much of an answer at all. Despite the one-sided conversation, Taehyung was thoroughly intrigued by Jungkook. He wanted to know everything about him. Namely, why he refused to speak. 

Despite his quiet nature, Taehyung could feel Jungkook looking at him whenever he looked away. A few times their gazes met, and Jungkook’s was intense enough that Taehyung found himself a bit flustered. For someone who refused to speak, he was certainly showing plenty of interest.

After lunch, Jungkook wandered over to the couch. He looked at Taehyung and patted the seat next to him. Taehyung smirked. He settled next to Jungkook, turning his attention to the television when Jungkook turned it on, flipping through the channels. He picked up the string on his sweatshirt as he did, sticking it into his mouth and chewing gently on it. 

Taehyung chuckled a little. He relaxed back against the couch, glancing over at Jungkook every little bit. Even relaxed like this – the boy was stunning. His profile was nearly perfect. He could easily be a singer or a celebrity.

“What do you do for a living, Jungkook?” Taehyung finally asked. 

Jungkook looked over, his eyes wide. He dropped the string from his mouth. “I— I’m computer. I program. Computers.” He stuttered. 

“Wow, that’s cool,” Taehyung grinned. “You must be super smart, that’s such a cool job.” 

Jungkook smiled shyly. He stuck the string back in his mouth, gnawing on it. 

“I’m finishing up college myself,” Taehyung continued, looking back at the television. “For photography and media design. I absolutely love art in all forms.”

He glanced at Jungkook from the corner of his eye, catching the other eyeing him up and down. A slow smirk crossed his lips. 

“You know, Jungkook… I’ve gotta ask.” He looked back at him and reached out, tugging the sweatshirt string from his mouth. “Is it an oral fixation, or do you just not want to talk to me?”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. He covered his mouth and tilted his head a little.

“No, I—I don’t not want to talk to you. I mean, I—” He squeaked a little, covering his ears. 

Taehyung’s grin grew. “Are you really so shy?”

Jungkook lowered his gaze and nodded. 

“Well you don’t have to be.” 

Instead of responding, Jungkook slipped his finger into his mouth, chewing the skin around the side of his fingernail. 

Taehyung reached out, pushing his hand down. He shifted over a little, staring until Jungkook looked at him.

“You’ve been checking me out all afternoon.”

“You noticed?” Jungkook squeaked. His cheeks began to redden in little blotches, chest rising a little faster. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“It’s creepy,” Jungkook muttered.

“I don’t think so. In fact, I’m pretty flattered.” Taehyung reached out, hesitating a moment before touching Jungkook’s cheek with his hand. “Not often a stunning young man looks at me like that.”

“I didn’t mean to…” Jungkook whispered. He looked away, but didn’t pull his face away from Taehyung’s grip.

“I’ve been looking at you too, Jungkook.” Taehyung paused, letting Jungkook look at him once more. When he did, Taehyung continued. “We’re both adults. If you do have an oral fixation… Well…” Taehyung wet his lips, leaving the question unasked. 

Jungkook’s eyes dropped down to his crotch, and Taehyung smirked. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Is that what you were thinking about?”

Jungkook didn’t answer. He bit on his lips, sucking them in until they formed a fine line. Taehyung pushed a little further, stroking his thumb over Jungkook’s mouth. 

“It’s okay if it was. You just need to tell me. So that I know how to respond.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened just enough to be noticeable. He released the grip on his lips, then bit his bottom lip once more, drumming his fingers on his thigh. “What if I was?” He kept the same soft voice, but there was something else. A rough, needy tone that sent the blood straight to Taehyung’s cock. 

“I guess I’d have no choice but to oblige your curiosity. I can’t deny a cute boy his wants, now can I?” Taehyung rose. He put his hands on his jeans, hesitating. “Is this what you were thinking about, Jungkook?”

Jungkook nodded, his eyes glued to Taehyung’s crotch. 

Taehyung undid his jeans. He could not honestly believe he was doing this. He pushed his jeans and boxers down, letting them pool around his ankles. His cock was already standing at attention, mostly hard at the prospect of having Jungkook in any way.

Despite his shyness, Jungkook responded immediately. He sank to his knees and stroked Taehyung’s cock twice before opening his mouth. Taehyung pushed his hips forward slowly, letting his smooth tip slide over Jungkook’s tongue. 

“Holy shit... Suck on it.”

Jungkook’s lips closed immediately and he began to suck, bobbing his head easily along the shaft. Taehyung’s toes curled. He buried his fingers in Jungkook’s soft curls, letting his head fall back. His cock hardened the rest of the way within seconds. Taehyung snapped his hips forward until the tip of his cock bumped the back of Jungkook’s throat. He looked down.

Jungkook gagged once, screwing his eyes shut. Instead of pulling back, he shifted, swallowing the spit pooling around Taehyung’s cock. He moved back a little and pushed forward. Taehyung felt his tip bump his throat again, and the convulsion of his throat, and then it relaxed. 

Taehyung shouted when his tip slipped into Jungkook’s warm, tight throat. He began to pump his hips gently, not wanting to hurt Jungkook, but wanting to savor that tight, unique feeling. He pulled his cock free, marveling at how slick with spit it was, shining in the lamplight. Jungkook let his mouth hang open, drool spilling out over his chin and onto his lap. His cock was tenting the front of his sweats obscenely.

“You getting off swallowing my dick, pretty one?” Taehyung teased, slapping Jungkook’s cheek with his cock. 

Jungkook nodded. He leaned back, pulling his sweats down around his knees. His cock wasn’t huge, but it certainly was hard, dripping precome the moment it was exposed.

“Can you come from this, sweetie?” Taehyung cooed. He rubbed his cock over Jungkook’s lips.

“Almost,” Jungkook whispered. “As long as I can finger my ass.”

“Do you have toys?”

Jungkook nodded. 

“Go put one in for me. One that will help you come. I want you to squirt without touching yourself.”

“Yes, Sir.” Jungkook rose. He tugged off his sweats and rushed off. Taehyung stroked his cock lazily, Jungkook’s spit slicking the way. 

Jungkook returned with a thick, curved dildo in one hand.

“Wanna stick it up my ass?”

“I’d love to.” 

Jungkook crawled onto the couch. He let his head hang over the edge, and slung his back and hips up the back of it, folding himself up so his knees nearly touched his chest. The angle exposed, and spread, his ass beautifully. Taehyung spit against his hole, smirking when it fluttered and Jungkook giggled.

“I was fingering myself before you came,” he explained. “Just stick it in.”

Taehyung did as he requested, sliding the silicone cock past his tight rim. Jungkook moaned contentedly, his dick dribbling precome onto his upper chest.

“Jungkook...” Taehyung said, nestling the toy neatly between Jungkook’s ass cheeks. “Can you come on your own face in this position?”

Jungkook nodded.

“Let me know when you’re close... I wanna see that.”

Taehyung shifted, rubbing his cock over Jungkook’s lips once more before sliding into his warm mouth. The new angle let Taehyung watch his cock slowly slipping in, each bob of Jungkook’s Adam’s apple as he swallowed, easing the way for the sensitive tip to finally slip into his throat. Despite having been there earlier - the feeling still caught Taehyung off guard. He lightly rested his hand on Jungkook’s throat as he began to pump his hips. Much to his surprise, right at the start of his throat, Taehyung could feel a little bulge on each inward stroke. He rubbed it gently, gasping at the sudden pressure. 

“Oh god, I’m really in your throat—“ he panted. He pulled back and Jungkook gasped in a breath. He grinned, his eyes shut. 

“Where’d you think I was putting it?” He teased. 

Taehyung slapped his bare ass, working the dildo deeper, and Jungkook moaned.

Taehyung slid his cock back into his mouth, gripping the base of the dildo. One hand rested over Jungkook’s throat, rubbing lightly each time he pumped his cock. The other he used to tug the dildo, not enough to pull it free from the clench of Jungkook’s rim, but just enough to tease. 

Jungkook moaned around Taehyung’s cock, the wet gulping noises adding to the obscenity - and sexiness - of the situation. 

Jungkook’s cock was leaking precome freely, dribbling clear streaks over his heaving, sweat slicked chest. He began to tap Taehyung’s thigh and pointed at his cock.

Taehyung pulled out, and Jungkook moaned loudly. He reached down, holding his ass open further, and pushing his hips up more. His cock twitched and throbbed visibly. Taehyung began to work the dildo quicker, angling it against where his prostate should be. Jungkook’s eyes rolled back.

“Stick it down my throat,” he begged. His voice was rasping and dry. He opened his mouth wide, sticking his tongue out.

Taehyung obeyed, sliding his cock in. Jungkook’s nose nuzzled against his tight, full balls, and he gagged, his cock twitching. Taehyung struggled to hold still as Jungkook began to swallow and moan around him. The squeeze was bordering on uncomfortable, but Taehyung barely noticed. Jungkook was moaning against him, the vibrations tingling up his cock and all the way to his toes. He almost missed the desperate tapping on his thigh for a second time. 

He pulled out, and Jungkook jerked hard. He burped, his cheeks pinking up even more, and his cock began to spurt. The first rope landed on his chin, milky and thick. Jungkook tilted his head just enough and the next two spurted into his open mouth. Taehyung went forward, sliding his cock in. The final hot rope streaked over his shaft, making him shudder. He pushed his cock deep into Jungkook’s mouth, feeling the silky slide of Jungkook’s come as it coated his cock. 

He began to pump his hips, chasing his orgasm. “Gonna come in your throat,“ Taehyung gasped, holding Jungkook’s head. Jungkook gave a thumbs up, moaning around his cock.

Two more pumps and Taehyung went still, grunting softly. His cock spilled into Jungkook’s throat, milked by the steady swallows, and urged on by Jungkook’s hands on his ass, holding him deep. The orgasm curled his toes, every nerve alight with pleasure. Each pump he knew he was spilling into the delicate, exposed throat of his pretty new friend. Jungkook’s breath was hot against his balls as he struggled to draw in air and not choke on the come. His own softening cock twitched weakly and dribbled onto his chest. 

Taehyung pulled out only when he began to soften, and Jungkook shot up, coughing and gagging. Taehyung sat next to him, rubbing and patting his back. He reached up, wiping away some of the stray come and spit streaking Jungkook’s face.

“You okay?” Taehyung worried. Jungkook nodded, clearing his throat. He smiled sheepishly. 

“I’m okay,” he whispered, his voice raspy. Taehyung rose and grabbed the cup of soda from the table, bringing it over to Jungkook. Jungkook rose just enough to pull his sweats up before slumping back onto the couch and taking the cup from Taehyung. 

Taehyung fixed his jeans, glancing around. 

“So that was… Something…”

“Were you pleased?” Jungkook asked softly, staring into the cup. 

“Was I—Of course I was pleased, you were great. I’ve never had someone… So happy to do that. Do you really like it when people…”

Jungkook nodded again. “I don’t get the opportunity often. I’m too shy to really make friends, let alone proposition someone.”

Taehyung sat back down next to Jungkook. “Look, we just met… And I didn’t, obviously… Plan for any of this. So, you would be well within your rights to tell me to fuck off…” 

Jungkook looked over, tilting his head a little curiously.

Taehyung smiled. “God you’re cute,” he sighed.

Jungkook giggled a little at that, lowering his gaze. “I already sucked your dick,” he said softly. “You don’t need to butter me up.”

“What if I’m buttering you up for something else?” Taehyung asked. Jungkook looked back up.

“Like what?”

“A date.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows, making them disappear into his shaggy bangs. “A date? W… With you?”

“Yeah, with me. I like you. I want to get to know you better. What do you think?”

“I—” Jungkook seemed to freeze, pinching his lips together in a fine line. 

“You don’t have to say yes,” Taehyung worried.

“No, I – I want to. I just… Why?”

“Because I like you.” Taehyung shrugged. “You want to?”

Jungkook nodded. 

“Great. Uh… Well, I mean… Obviously I’m already over but… Maybe this weekend?”

“I’d like that.” 

Taehyung grinned. He pulled out his phone and handed it over to Jungkook. “Your number, if you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, of course.” Jungkook took it and typed it in. As he did, Taehyung rose, peeking out of the blinds. 

“Looks like the flooding has gone down enough. I should probably get back to my work.”

Jungkook nodded. He rose, fixing his own pants. He handed Taehyung’s phone back. 

“Text me so I can get your number… Drive safe, okay?”

Taehyung nodded. He pulled on his jacket and toed into his shoes. Jungkook moved up to him, looking shy once more. 

“What?” Taehyung teased. 

“Can I kiss you?”

“Can’t get enough of that oral fixation, eh?” Taehyung joked. He reached out, brushing his thumb over Jungkook’s bottom lip. “Of course you can.”

He pulled Jungkook into a gentle kiss, holding him close. It was funny, he realized, as they separated and he hurried out the door to his car. A simple twist of fate – a forced meeting – a simple call for a pizza on a rainy day – could change an entire life. 

[hellreads]

Hello, I just stumble on your blog. Seeing a comment from Wrienne which I also read on AO3, I wanted to ask if you also have AO3 recs..?

hi there darling, of course, I have some recs for you! since you didn’t ask for anything specific let me just share a few faves that you could only read/access on ao3 (I would also recommend you check my ficshelfs and use the ao3 filter to find stories exclusively posted there + i’ll still include wrienne’s works for other readers :3 ) | 🍒

OT7/MULTIPLE MEMBERS

❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity ➴ Infidelity!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Jimin | Series ➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.

❥ The Hills by minlouvre ➴ Vacation/Exes!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series ➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?

when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.

but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen. ❥ A Hundred Percent Human by Wrienne ➴ Hybrid!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series ➴ In which you (reader) are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate.

After your estranged mother passes away, you're left with an unwanted will and the heavy burden of responsibility. Although you're desperate not to stray from the familiar path you thought was laid out in front of you with a fully human boyfriend who loves you more than anything, your life is thrown upside down once more after another unfortunate incident (that may or may not have to do with said boyfriend) occurs.

Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of.

❥ Dead Leaves by Wrienne ➴ Detective/Exes!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series ➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency. ❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by minlouvre ➴ FWB/Rich Kids!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot ➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. 

Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Love Is A Dog From Hell by yourlocalhoney ➴ FWB/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook | Series ➴ You and Yoongi agreed on being good friends, co-workers, and friends who help each other out under the sheets. What you never agreed on was to catch feelings for each other.

Enter, accidental feelings.

Enter, Jeon Jungkook.

❥ The Uncanny by Sinsirella ➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Seokjin x Jimin | Series ➴ (Y/N) is a young girl whose Life turns upside down. One day her mother surprises her with news of her arranged husband, forcing her into her new chaotic lifestyle. Join her journey and experience her new life through her eyes. Will she get along with her husband? Or someone else? What are they hiding? ❥ Seven Deadly Sins by mintedmango ➴ Hell!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series ➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.

“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Walk Through The Fire by shellflower ➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series ➴ In a world of supernatural beings, a normal human like yourself always found attraction and wonder towards these creatures. It was your kind heart that led you to become a doctor to treat such people. And it was your kind heart that led you into the arms of a young Alpha wolf who will accidentally force you down a path you were never meant to follow... ❥ Into Temptation by coconutty  ➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Two-Shot ➴ It was just a dare...

❥ Won’t Be Nice by coconutty ➴ Lovers/Poly!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot ➴ A night by the pool just got interesting...

KIM NAMJOON

❥ Covenant by fringesofsanity ➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Namjoon x Reader | Series ➴ You are betrothed to Kim Namjoon, the heir of a real estate mogul. To say that it was a fairytale romance would be erroneous. You’re instead loped in the sad tale of the rich and melancholy.

❥ Read You Like A Book by coconutty ➴ University!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot ➴ Come get an attitude adjustment in the library, courtesy of Namjoon.

KIM SEOKJIN

❥ Éffleurer by @sugaurora / sugalights ➴ Office!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series ➴ There were always whispers in your office about what secrets Seokjin hid behind his clean image. Now, you knew at least one of them. ❥ The City Comes Alive by minlouvre ➴ Musician/S2L!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series ➴ Seokjin is a street performer who falls for a girl who is always passing him by. ❥ Seaside Sabbatical by dark_muse_iris ➴ Working Man!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot ➴ After an accountant in your firm is sent to prison, you are assigned to clean up the mess he left behind. Sorting out your clients’ disastrous business records proves beneficial when you meet the fisherman who teaches you the value of taking a break. ❥ Cake by yeyeniejjung ➴ Yandere/Killer!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series ➴ "I was always hungry for your love. Just once, I wanted to know what is was like to get my fill of it. I wanted to be fed so much love that I couldn't take it anymore, just once." ❥ The Lord Taketh Away by dark_muse_iris ➴ Medieval/Werewolf!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot ➴ Every autumn, the dwindling harvest summons fears for the impending winter and its promise of scarcity. For Seokjin and his wife, faith lies in God and their local lord’s generosity to provide what their ailing son needs to survive another year. With each season, however, the lord grows cold-hearted and greedy, squeezing the young family to the brink of despair.

MIN YOONGI

❥ Zelus by SugaAconcept ➴ Lovers/Sugar Daddy!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot ➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to. ❥ Carpe Diem by fringesofsanity ➴ Idol/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | Series ➴ Working for the UN, you are tasked to handle the poverty reduction campaign of a certain boy band. A certain rapper from the group however decides to mix business with pleasure.

JUNG HOSEOK

❥ Feel You From The Inside by coconutty  ➴ Idol/Staff!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You've been watching him for months, little did you know, he's been watching you.

❥ As You Are by fringesofsanity ➴ Lovers!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You're not the girl for Jung Hoseok. Him - who was sunshine and daisies and fireworks. You - who were back-alley darkness and used needles and burnt cigarettes. But he doesn't care. And you fucking hate yourself for it.

❥ The Thin Blue Line by bluesxde ➴ Pregnancy/E2L!AU | Hoseok x Reader | Series ➴ One badly-judged fling with Jung Hoseok, the son of a company-rival, leaves you with a little surprise.

PARK JIMIN

❥ His Throne by hseoks ➴ Royalty!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series ➴ You, a maid for the royal family, have sex with the irresistible Prince Park Jimin on his throne.

❥ Ineffable by fringesofsanity ➴ FWB!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You’ve only shared your body to Jimin, mostly silent after the act. The one time you decide to bare so much more, you find yourself baring your soul to him, far more than you bargained for.

❥ Blue Side by hoseokiehopie ➴ Ghost/Lovers!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You’re all too familiar with the legend that says the dead can walk freely on Halloween. It’s a secret you hold deeply within yourself. When a classmate starts to break down the walls you built so strongly after your boyfriend’s passing, you have to decide if you’re going to remain in the past with the dead, or live among the living.

KIM TAEHYUNG

❥ Effervescence by fringesofsanity ➴ Idol/Fling!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ Just like the fizz of a cola on a hot summer’s day, your encounter with Taehyung is short but sparkly sweet.

OR Getting married in three months, you and your girls attend Ultra Miami to cap your single life, a final hurrah of some sort. What you didn’t expect is meeting a beguiling boy with a boxy smile who gives you a festival you’ll forever reminisce.

❥ Minutiae by coconutty ➴ Stalker!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ Y/N meets a mysterious and alluring photographer and wants to interview him. Along the way things start getting a bit strange. What happens when you draw the attention of someone who always gets what they want?

❥ Flower Arrangements by iq_biased ➴ Pregnancy/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot ➴ From the moment you met Taehyung, his flourish for life drew you in completely. It wasn’t long before you fell head over heals for the tattoo artist who was so wrong for you, it felt right. But your story hasn’t always been an easy one, and just recently it’s become a whole lot more complicated…

❥ Freaks Forever by yeyeniejjung ➴ Criminal/Psych!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ "So tell me, Mister Kim, what's your ideal evening?"

"Ah..full moon, sex and drugs all night."

You are the psychologist to the world's most dangerous criminal, Kim Taehyung. Kim Taehyung is the man solely responsible for some of the most horrific crimes that the world has ever seen, from burglary, drug possession, sexual assaults, to brutal homicides of a total of 37 victims, though there are suspicions that there are more, that range from children to the elderly; both male and female. The two of you form an odd bond between your weekly sessions, causing you to somehow completely miss his blatant manipulation that soon controlled you in every aspect; resulting in his escape from prison and his bloodthirsty ways and eyes to be immediately turned onto you..but will he spare you in the end of the torturous time he keeps you or will your fate be the same as any other past victim of his?

❥ Slow Burn by fringesofsanity ➴ Idol/F2L!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series  ➴ He was just supposed to be one of those clients. But then he gives you a night you’ll never forget. ❥ Noona by yuu14045 ➴ Neighbors/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin lives in same apartment building. One day Taehyung received a mail for another Kim. She turned out to be Jimin's new neighbor.

❥ Snapped by Kpopyandere ➴ Yandere!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ Your relationship with your boyfriend hasn't been going well lately. His twin, Kim Taehyung, decides to take advantage of this.

JEON JUNGKOOK

❥ If You’re Struggling Like I Am by @btssavedmylifeblr / bts_ruined_my_life ➴ Idol/Lovers!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series ➴ You are hired as a makeup artist for BigHit working with BTS. You are older than all of them, yet, despite your best efforts, you find yourself slowing falling in love with the youngest member.

❥ My Cheating Amnesic Fiancé by Wrienne ➴ Idol/Arranged Marriage!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series ➴ A series set in our world featuring Reader, the sole heiress of a multibillion-dollar company, and the Bangtan Boys' Golden Maknae - Jeon Jungkook. Mainly a romance, though doused with angst, drama and the twisted ways of fate. ❥ Return by Kpopyandere ➴ Yandere!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series ➴ As Seokjin's girlfriend, you're off-limits, but Jungkook doesn't see it that way

[jobrookekarev]

Little Moon Chapter 5

Chapter: Five of ?

Words: 1616

Summary: Luna and Joe go to the library where they read a book about adoption and Joe tells her the story of how she adopted Luna.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Characters: Jo Wilson, Luna Wilson/Ashton, Val Ashton.

Rating: General Audiences.

Additional Tags: Fluff, All the Fluff, Toddlers, Adoption, Libraries, Tiny Astronaut.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: As I'm getting back into the swing of things I'm hoping to start updating this at least once a month, especially with the new season!

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One of Jo's favorite places to take Luna was the library. Unfortunately, her toddler didn't have as much of an attention span as usual. At two years old, Luna had caught up developmentally with most of her peers, except for the occasional delay, but that was to be expected. Yet ever since she started walking, Jo had a hard time keeping her still. The one thing that Luna would sit down for, was books, specifically books about space. 

Luna loved anything space related, including her pink tiny NASA suit that she insisted on wearing most days. So after a late night shift, only a few hours of sleep, and because she wanted a quiet day, Jo picked up her little pink astronaut, and they flew over to the library in the car/spaceship. Now they sat in between the shelves as Jo pulled out a couple of random books. 

“This one looks nice,” Jo said, pulling out a book, but then she read the description. 

It was an adoption story, and usually, Jo didn't get those out for Luna unless she had read them over first. When Jo had adopted Luna, she considered buying a book about adoption to help explain it all to her when she was older. 

Jo remembered the adoption and foster story books she read as a child. She could have never imagined her parents willingly choosing to put her in that situation, but they did. The foster home she was in wasn't better like all the books promised they were. They weren't the loving families that all the books painted them to be. Instead of a forever home, she dreamed of her birth parents showing up and whisking her away, loving her the way someone should have. 

Jo had sorted through millions of adoption story books. Unfortunately, most of them were religious. They often painted the birth mother as a woman who made the right choice to place the baby with their family, but Val didn't give Luna up willingly. She died and Jo never wanted to keep that fact from her daughter either. 

No adoption or foster care kids' story was without pain. Jo’s was the pain of her birth father's assault and her mother's abandonment. Luna's was of her mother's death and her father’s disinterest. She wanted Luna to know that she is loved, that she was always loved, and that Val loved her and that Jo fought for her because she loved her too.

“Maybe not. Let’s pick another.”

“No, Mama,” Luna said, grabbing a book from where she sat and Jo's lap. “Read, read.”

Jo sighed and took another look at the book as she flipped it over and read the description before opening it up. This book seemed alright, so Jo flipped back to the first page and started reading it.

“Mommy and Daddy, Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born,” Jo began as she read the book to Luna. When she got to the page that had the baby laid out in actual size, Jo paused and smiled. “You were much smaller when you were born, you were this little.”

Jo showed Luna with her hands the size that she was, as Luna pointed to the baby on the page. “Big ‘aby.”

“Yeah, that is a big baby,” Jo said as Luna finally allowed her to turn the page, and she continued reading.

Once Jo finished the book, she put it in their stack to check out. After sorting through a few more books, the two of them walked out of the library with their collection. Jo held the bag of books and Luna held one book tightly against her chest. Despite living downtown, Jo often found herself hanging out in the Queen Anne neighborhood. It was safer and easier to hang out in, with more parks and things for the two of them to do. It also helped that she was close to Meredith and Link’s place. She put Luna in the stroller and started to walk the two blocks over to the park. 

As they walked, Jo couldn't help, but remember the adoption story in the book and Luna's own birth and adoption story. Through the advice of others and from her own experience as a foster child, Jo never wanted to lie to Luna about how she came to adopt her. Still, that didn't change the story of how Luna came to be in the world. 

She survived on her mom's liver and was born during a pandemic. Her mother loved her so much, but she never even got to hold her. Val died and she hadn’t gotten the chance to meet her daughter. Although Jo knew Luna before she was born and held her as soon and as much as she could, it didn't make things any easier. Jo had been telling Luna about Val. She made sure that Luna had a picture of Val in her nursery and that she knew her Mom’s name. 

“Hey, Luna,” Jo said, leaning forward to see over the canopy of the stroller. “Do you want to know about your birth story and about your Mama Val?”

“Mama story,” Luna repeated with a nod, and Jo smiled down at her.

“Okay, so the day I met your mommy Val was in the middle of a crazy year where everybody had to wear masks to cover their faces. Your mommy had come to the hospital where I work because her tummy didn't feel good. That's when we found out you were in her tummy and not only that, you weren't where you're supposed to be. See, most babies grow in their mommy's uterus, but you were growing on your mommy's liver!”

“Li-er” Luna said as she tried out the word.

“Yes, Liver, you are my little liver baby,” Jo said, leaning forward again and tickling Luna’s side as she giggled. “But you weren't supposed to be on your mommy's liver, so we had to go in and get you, and you were so tiny when you were born. You weren't quite ready to be born yet, so we took you to the NICU, and that's where you lived for the first five months of your life. And your mommy Val, she loved you so much, but she...” 

Jo faltered a little, she had always told Luna about her mom, but she had always brushed over the fact that Val had died. She turned the corner as they approached the park. She didn't want to introduce her daughter to death so soon, but she deserved to know what really happened, and Jo didn't want her thinking that Val walked out on her. 

Jo looked down at Luna, who looked back up at her with big blue eyes, Val’s eyes. She looked so much like Val. They had the same blue eyes and white blonde hair. The same pointed little chin, and the same little nose. As Jo got to the park, she picked a bench and parked the stroller next to it. 

She sat down so she could face Luna, taking her little hands and holding them. “Have I told you how little your hands were when you were born? They were the size of my fingertips and now look at how big they are.”

Luna smiled and laughed as she looked at their hands. “I big girl.” 

“Yes, you are a big girl, and you look so much like your mommy Val, so beautiful and strong like your mommy, and you are stubborn and smart like me,” Jo said as she took a deep breath and looked down at their hands. “Your mommy Val couldn't stay here. She had to go to the great beyond, like in that movie we watched, do you remember?”

Luna nodded as they had watched the movie Soul with Scout and Meredith’s kids a few days ago, and Jo figured that if Luna was going to understand death, it needed to be at least age appropriate and not scary. 

“Yeah, well just like in the movie, your mommy Val is in the great beyond, and that's why she's not here with us. That’s why I’m your mama, that’s why I went to the courthouse, and I asked them if I could keep you? And at first, they said no, but I wouldn't give up on you. I fought for you. I fought so hard because I love you so much, Luna, and I wanted to be your mama. Finally, I met with a special lawyer who helped me adopt you, and so we went back to the courts, and do you know what they said?”

Luna shook her head, but she smiled at Jo, a beautiful big smile that made the harshest of days become the happiest. 

“They said that I could keep you forever, and so that's what I did. You're my daughter forever,” Jo said, lifting Luna up out of the stroller and holding her into the air. “You're mine forever, my Little Moon, and I love you so much.”

“Love you, Mama,” Luna said, puckering her lips, and Jo smiled as she gave her a peck. 

“Alright, let's go play. You want to go on the swings?” Jo asked as Luna nodded and Jo carried her over to the swings. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon at the park, and Luna smiled and laughed, and ran around just being the carefree child she could be. Jo was happy to give her that because, despite her rough start, her daughter had a happy childhood. That was what she wanted for Luna and she knew that was what Val wanted for her too. The day Val died, Jo promised her that she would take care of her daughter. That she would give her a happy childhood and a happy life, and Jo kept her promise.

……………………………………………………………………

AN: My mother is adopted and when I was younger, I used to read the book “Mommy and Daddy Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born” by Jamie Lee Curtis. It mirrored my mother's adoption story, and that's how I came to understand that she was adopted. It didn't say that adoptive parents were better and what the birth mother could have given. Sometimes, like in Jo’s story, there is no better. Her foster parents were terrible, but her birth mom was in the midst of her depression and couldn't bear the sight of her, and I doubt she would have been able to take care of Jo. There were just two bad situations and a child stuck between them. I'm really glad that Jo got the chance to adopt Luna and be better and do better for her daughter. That's part of why I love this series.

[undertalethingems]

Bark at the Moon, Chapter 6: Slip Through

<Previous / Next>

Or read on my Ao3>

Rating, Setting: Gen, Pre-canon

Chapter Warnings: None?

Chapter Summary: No longer so alone, Papyrus is ready to tackle finding his brother--with Undyne's help, he's sure to find something...

“Okay! It should be late enough that most people'll be home for the night, so chances are no one will spot you, much less recognize you. That should take care of your concerns about being seen, right?”

"Good point," Papyrus agreed, taking another spoonful of the hearty soup Undyne had made. It was a little hard to grip his silverware, so eating was slow, but it was nice to have something hot so he wanted to savor it anyway. At least Undyne was way better at making soup than spaghetti. "It does make me a tad less trousled."

Undyne smiled. "Good. Once you're done there we'll get cleaned up and head out, okay?"

The rest of the evening was relatively quiet--the two traded banter while Papyrus finished his dinner, then they worked together to do the dishes and put things away. And then, all too soon--it was time to start their investigation, which meant stepping into a world Papyrus didn't know that he belonged in. He was sure it was just as ready for him as he was for it--which was to say, not at all.

But Undyne beckoned, and Papyrus shook himself out before reluctantly headed for the door. The outside world loomed, and for a moment he hesitated.... No, he needed to leave. Drawing a deep breath, he stepped out for what felt like the first time in ages. It was strange, feeling the cold again and snow crunching under his claws. But... it was so open... so spacious... he needed to run, to express all the energy he'd had to bottle up!

He tore off towards the nearby clearing, delighting in the wind rushing and newfound strength coursing through him as he galloped down the road. This was where he belonged! Out and about, doing, being! Not cooped up at home, that was sure. He barreled into the snow and rolled around, then got back to his feet and shook the snow from his bones. Oh that felt good! He was fully refreshed, like he'd finally shed the gloom that had washed over him in his house.

Undyne was laughing when she caught up with him, happy to see him acting more like his old self. “Feels good to get out, huh? Being a homebody doesn’t suit you. Alright, now, where do you think Sans might have gone?”

Papyrus stroked his chin. “Well, it's difficult to say, but his basic needs are a place to sleep and bad food... but no one’s reported him from Grillby’s, right?”

“No,” Undyne frowned. “You’d think that’s the first thing we’d hear about—it was Grillby himself who asked me to check up on him… so he’s either still going, or Grillby hasn’t gotten nervous yet. Seems like a good place to start either way!”

Papyrus nodded, and together they turned to head for the restaurant. It glowed a welcoming amber in the subterranean night, but Papyrus declined to enter the establishment, both on account of his current state as well as being firmly opposed to grease as a concept. So he sat in the snow opposite the building as Undyne went in, hoping there'd be lead on his brother. Grillby was, despite how Papyrus felt about the quality of his cooking, a good monster who knew his regulars well. And even if Sans was mad and avoiding him, surely he wouldn't avoid his favorite food.

“No one’s seen him,” Undyne relayed when she’d returned, looking downcast. “Grillby says he stopped coming about two and a half weeks ago. He was about to call me again, actually, it’s kinda funny.”

“Two and a half weeks… that’s when you came to visit.”

“Right,” Undyne said with a wincing smile. “So the timeframe matches… and… I guess there’s something else weird. Grillby almost didn’t tell me--he wasn't sure it was relevant. But… apparently he’s had kids come in a couple times now and order a few burgers to go. When they got asked by one of the other customers what they were for, all they said was that it was some flower monster who wanted them.”

Papyrus blinked. A flower.... “Why would a flower monster need someone to buy burgers for them?

“Dunno, but… Grillby said that what struck him as odd… was that it’s Sans’ favorite they keep ordering, and nothing else. They even ask for extra ketchup.”

“Hmm…” Papyrus trailed, not sure what to make of this information. A certain flower had been his friend in timelines past. Maybe he’d decided to become Sans’ friend this time around? He couldn't be sure, and it made him uneasy. He wasn't always his friend.

“Yeah, I dunno either,” Undyne continued, “but everyone asked how you were and what was up, so they miss you a lot. You better figure this thing out soon or you might have a visiting party from the dogs.”

“I… I’m touched,” Papyrus said softly; he hadn’t thought anyone would pay his absence any mind. They were all Sans’ friends, not his…

“Yeah! I told them you were taking a good long vacation since you tend to overwork yourself, and they bought it, but I think everyone’s looking forward to seeing you guys back in action. Anyway! I say we try and find this flower guy and talk to him. Ask him what he’s doing with those burgers.”

“…It is our only lead,” Papyrus agreed, narrowing his eyes. “If he’s hanging out with Sans, then that would certainly explain it.”

“Alright. I’ve always wanted to do a stakeout,” Undyne grinned, flashing her fangs. “Based on what Grillby told me, those kids should show up tomorrow. Let’s wait here all night and make sure we don’t miss ‘em.”

“An excellent strategy! I am with you one zillion percent!”

The two friends hunkered down in the snow just off the road and out of sight. Undyne couldn’t keep from shivering after a few hours in, so Papyrus darted back home to retrieve a blanket for her. It looked a little conspicuous draped over her shoulders, so with her approval he buried her in snow and left only a small space open for her to peer through. Halfway into the morning she was apparently cozy enough to fall asleep, but Papyrus didn’t mind. He could keep watch in the meantime.

It was just after Grillby unlocked his door for the morning that a trio of kids ran up—a pair of bunnies and a little reptilian child. They greeted the fire monster brightly, and he nodded to them before letting them stumble in. Papyrus prodded Undyne in her side, and she yelped—he’d forgotten he had particularly sharp digits now—but it got the message across. She tossed the blanket aside, shedding snow as she stood.

“Okay. You ready to do this?”

“I was born ready!” Papyrus replied, crouching in anticipation.

“Okay! I want you to stay back and track behind us while I get the kids to take me to the flower. I don't want anything to go unnoticed, so you'll keep an eye on the whole thing. Understand?”

“Oh… Yes! What a cunning plan! We will soon learn the truth with you at the helm!”

“Heck yeah! Alright, shh, here they come.”

The kids skipped from Grillby's, each with a small bag in their arms—or, in the little reptilian child’s case, their mouth. Papyrus could smell the grease from here, and regretted having such a powerful sense of smell in this form. At least it would make them easy to follow. He watched them trot down the street towards Waterfall, giggling and chatting to each other as they walked, discussing what they’d do with the extra money they were making. So, someone really was paying them to buy bad decisions…

Undyne waited until they were a bit further down the road to make her move, stepping out from the sidelines to follow them. Papyrus stayed within the trees, swift and silent on his feet as he trailed them, wondering where all this would lead.

“Hey guys!” Undyne called, waving casually to the trio as she caught up with them just outside Waterfall. They turned to face her, and the reptile dropped their bag on account of their jaw falling open.

“Oh my gosh! Yo! It’s Undyne!” the child exclaimed in a stunned whisper. “Act cool, she’s only the most awesome monster in the whole Underground!”

The bunnies exchanged looks, but smiled politely as the captain approached.

“You kids off to have a picnic?” she began, and the little ones milled around a bit before one of the bunnies answered.

“Um, no…”

“Really? Can I ask where you're taking those burgers then?”

The reptilian was quick to answer. “There’s this flower guy who loves ‘em! But his roots keep him from going inside Grillby’s, plus it's too cold for him in Snowdin anyway, so he has to ask us kids to get ‘em for him! We’re helping our fellow monsters, just like you want us to!”

“Good job,” Undyne said proudly. “Hey, I kinda want to meet this guy. Think I could tag along?”

“Um, I guess so?” the other bunny answered, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s nothing real special.”

The kids led the way with Undyne in tow, and Papyrus couldn’t help but feel hopeful. He kept just out of sight as they wound through the dark, damp halls of Waterfall, crossed the bridge, and came to a field of echo flowers. Amid the whispering expanse of eerie blue, there was a bright spot of yellow. It was a flower with face, stretched with a cheery smile.

“Howdy kids!” the flower chirped brightly. “Oh boy, you brought a new friend! Could this be the Undyne you’ve told me so much about?”

“It totally is!” the reptilian answered gleefully, dropping their bag again as they hopped. “She wanted to meet you! You’re sooo lucky!”

“I sure am!” the plant replied, but Papyrus thought there was something just a bit off in his expression. “And hey, looks like you brought everything else too!”

“Here you go, mister Flowey,” one of the bunnies said as the trio handed their bags over. “You must like burgers a whole lot if you eat so many. Doesn’t your momma tell you you’ll get sick if you eat too much of them?”

“Well, you wanna know something real sad? Flowers don’t exactly have moms,” Flowey replied, and the children gasped sadly.

“Yo, you never had a mom?!”

“That is so sad…”

“Miss Undyne, did you know he didn’t have a momma?!”

Undyne sighed. “Not everyone’s that lucky. You guys run home and hug your moms extra hard, okay?”

“Okay!” the trio chorused.

“Hey, but enough of that for now!” Flowey spoke again. “You guys have been a big help! Here’s your tip, hee hee!”

He tossed each of the kids a little sack of gold using a thin vine, and the three ran off, giggling and waving. Undyne stayed behind, as did Flowey. The two eyed one another for a moment, until Undyne broke the quiet.

“Listen, I won’t keep you long, but I came with those kids because I need to ask you something. I need to know if you’ve seen or know the whereabouts of a man named Sans. He’s a skeleton monster about yea tall, and tends to wear a blue jacket and black shorts. Know him?”

“Hmm…” Flowey tapped a vine to his chin. “Doesn’t sound familiar. Can I ask why you’re looking for him? Did he do something bad?”

“No. He went missing about two weeks ago, and we were given the impression you might know something,” Undyne replied, folding her arms.

“Who told you that? I’m just a flower, I don’t get out much,” Flowey replied, looking offended.

“Well… from what we’ve heard, that’s when you started asking those kids to get burgers for you, and they happen to be Sans’ favorite.”

“...That’s your lead? Really?” Flowey scoffed as he reached into the closest bag to unwrap a burger and bit into it. “Listen. I’m stuck out here in Waterfall. It took me forever to come across anything like Grillby’s cooking, and now, I can’t get enough of it. Can you really blame me for asking my fellow monsters to help a guy out? Is that so wrong?”

“Well, no,” Undyne huffed. “But—”

“Listen, I’m sorry to hear about this Sans guy, and I hope you find him. But I just really like these burgers. I had no idea he liked them too—hey, I can’t blame him, hee hee! I’ll let you know if I see anything, but this is the first I’ve even heard of him,” Flowey said, tilting his head in a shrug before taking another bite. Undyne pursed her lips.

“Well, thanks, I guess. Sorry to bother you. Let the Guard know if you do find anything.”

She marched away with brows furrowed, and Papyrus lingered to watch Flowey just a bit longer. Flowey waited until she was definitely out of the room to spit his mouthful of food out, his lip curled as he glared in her direction. Then he gathered up the bags with his vines and disappeared into the earth.

Papyrus went from feeling disappointed to terrified.

His magic pulsing through him in a panicked rush, he left his spot in the shadows to investigate where Flowey had vanished. He found a small mound of upturned soil and no other physical signs, but there was a smell. Not the smell of fresh grease from Grillby’s, nor the scent of clammy mud and grass, though all were present. No, this was a smell that made his magic coil so tensely in his chest he thought it might burst, a smell that made him shiver from skull to tailtip at its presence.

It was the faint smell of earthy bone and stale ketchup.

Flowey was a liar.

Flowey was, very often, not a good person and wouldn’t even try sometimes. Papyrus had hoped that with the dearth of resets lately he might have given up on playing with everyone’s lives, but it seemed this was not the case. He still hoped, naturally, that one day Flowey would make the right choice, but with him acting the way he had, and Sans being how he was now…

Papyrus groaned. Maybe Sans was happy. He was alive, at least, and even if Flowey had him trapped somewhere, somehow, he was getting out of work, probably napping a lot and being brought his favorite food. He’d said himself that was all Sans really needed… Maybe Sans just didn’t want to come home after all. He hoped it was like that.

“Papyrus…?” Undyne’s voice echoed from down the corridor, and he perked up. He glanced back down at the little clump of dirt where Flowey had been, and pushed his heartbreak aside. If Sans was happy somewhere, then so was he. He heaved a sigh, and trotted to catch up with his captain.

"Did you see something?" Undyne asked when he caught up, and he glanced around before answering in a low voice.

"No, not a thing! How frustrating," he huffed. "I suppose there's nothing for it but to keep waiting. However long that is..."

Undyne considered his words, then turned to him with a grin. "Hey! Rather than stay cooped up in your house again, how about you come over to mine? You know, for a sleepover."

Papyrus blinked. "Really?"

"Sure! I also know a couple spots where NO ONE ever comes, so we can hang out there and you don't have to worry about being seen. That'd be pretty nice, right?"

Papyrus was taken aback. "Well, certainly, b-but--are you sure that's proper? F-for you? There's etiquette and such, I read it in the Royal Guard handbook handbook."

"Psh, I don't care about what's proper! All that etiquette stuff is a TOTAL DRAG! AND! I'M THE CAPTAIN! I DECIDE WHAT RULES TO ENFORCE! And I say SCREW 'EM! I care about my friend, who's been stuck alone in his house for way too long. It'll be fun!"

Papyrus hemmed and hawed. Was it really okay...? Undyne thought so, and after everything today he wasn't sure he could take being alone another night. She had called him her friend... he almost couldn't believe it... But he knew he shouldn't stay by himself again. "Um... well... alright. It does sound nice."

"HECK yeah it does!" Undyne beamed, punching him in the shoulder playfully. "Now come on, I dunno about you but we've been out long enough. Let's head back to my place."

Papyrus let her lead the way along the winding corridors and yawning chasms of Waterfall until they reached the quiet corner where Undyne's house sat. He followed her in and immediately slipped on the ceramic tile floor, his legs sliding out from under him with a scrape. He groaned, and Undyne stifled a laugh as she helped him stand.

"I guess there is one problem with you staying here," she teased as they hobbled over to the table together. "Good thing it's not a big one!"

"Just embarrassing," Papyrus griped as he sat, carefully balancing with all four feet crammed on the chair. He drummed his claws as Undyne puttered around the kitchen, making what turned out to be tea.

"Figured something warm would be nice," she said, setting a cup before him as she joined him, and for a little while they sat quietly as it cooled. But Undyne always got contemplative when she made tea, and it wasn't long before she spoke. "You know... it's weird, but... I've gotten pretty used to you being like this. It's actually really cool."

"You mean it?" Papyrus asked, and she nodded.

"Yeah! I don't think any other monster can transform like you do, and into this awesome skeleton... beast thing? If I were a human, I'd surrender after just looking at you!"

Papyrus fidgeted. "Well, I suppose that's good..."

He didn't really want to be intimidating. That'd been what he wanted. A reason why they hadn't been allowed to change.

Apparently his discomfort was obvious, because Undyne's mood shifted. "But... being scary... that's not your style, huh? You really don't want to look like this. And it's been getting to you, and now Sans too... Maybe I'm way off, but I get the feeling... this isn't really something you want, and it's actually kind of serious."

"It's nothing to be worried about!" Papyrus uttered quickly. "I'm fine! I just miss my fashions, and my dashing good looks, and holding things like a person who doesn't have sharp claws! And fitting in my bed without having to fold myself up, and going grocery shopping, and not being trapped in my own home, and--and--"

"Hey, easy there," Undyne soothed, extending a hand across the table. "I know it's been rough on you, and Sans being gone hasn't helped. But we'll find him, and you'll get through this. Uh... hey! We should go shopping together sometime! There's whole sections for monsters with your body type, you've got all kinds of options open now. That sounds fun, right?"

Papyrus managed a laugh. "I suppose. I... I guess I ought to consider the fact this is my life now..."

He didn't want to give up. He wasn't going to! He just... had to accept that for the foreseeable future, this was how things would be. He'd said as much to Sans, hadn't he? That they should embrace all that they were? As much as he wanted to go back to his other form... he should just accept this one for now.

"That's a good idea, Undyne. Thank you. I think I should just forget worrying about it."

Undyne smiled, though not as widely as she liked to. "That might be the best idea. I also think... we should get some rest. We sorta stayed up most of the night."

She squinted for a moment.

"And now that I think about it, we didn't really need to. It's not like those kids were gonna show up at 3am..."

Papyrus chuckled. "Nyeh heh, but we were ready! Who knows! Maybe they had planned a daring escapade, sneaking out from under their parent's noses to acquire illicit grease!"

"Well, they wouldn't have gotten very far, considering Grillby's was closed by then."

"That's! A fair point. Whatever, we still had fun!"

Undyne grinned. "Yeah we did. But, I'm pretty worn out from all that, and I've still gotta patrol later, so we should rest."

"I suppose. I'm not sleepy, but... Some time to 'chill' might be nice..."

"Sounds good to me. I'm gonna take a nap, you can hang out here. Help yourself to any snacks, I don't mind."

"Okay. I will be polite about it, not to worry! Now, if it were Sans, you might..." he started to joke, but sadness overcame him. "Sans... I hope he's really okay..."

"I'm sure he's fine, wherever he is," Undyne replied, the slightest edge to her voice. "Come on, let's relax and not worry about things for a bit. You're not gonna find him any faster by stressing."

He let her take the lead again, helping her lay some spare blankets on the floor so he wasn't constantly sliding around and had a place to lay down if he wanted. But once she retired to her room, he was left in the quiet of her home. And there was nothing to keep his thoughts from echoing louder and louder within his skull.

Where was Sans? Was Flowey really responsible for his disappearance? What did he want with him anyway? If he was handling this so poorly, how was Sans holding up? Would he be alright? It hadn't been too long since he left, but in the state of mind he'd been in, and how stressed they'd been before--it had only taken him a few days to slip into old habits. Even without Flowey interfering, would Sans still...?

Papyrus curled up in the blankets and shivered as quietly as he could.

At breakfast the next day, Undyne let him know he could stay as long as he wanted, and he agreed--it was a major improvement over staying in his home alone. But as generous as Undyne's offer was, her house was even smaller than his and it only took a couple days for him to get antsy again. She came back from a shift to find him attempting to walk on the ceiling using blue magic, and her startled shout broke his concentration. He fell most of the way before catching himself and floating the rest, landing deftly on his feet. He fidgeted sheepishly under her perplexed gaze before explaining.

"I. Um. Was very bored."

Undyne blinked, and rubbed her forehead with a finger as she stepped the rest of the way into her house. "I can tell, but now there's claw marks in the plaster."

"Sorry."

"Hah! It actually looks rad, so don't worry about it. But geez, I guess being cooped up in one house isn't much better than being cooped up in another. Do I need to get you like, a chew toy or something?"

Papyrus lowered his brows. "That sounds nice... and I hate it."

"Gotcha. I just know it helps the dogs stay focused on a slow shift. I could check some stuff out of the library?"

"I've already read most of my books back home, I don't know if I want to read more..." Papyrus sighed, laying down dejectedly. "I want to do things..."

Undyne frowned. "Man, I really hate seeing you like this... And you're dead-set on not going outside?"

"Not where anyone can see," Papyrus huffed. "If Sans were here, he could just take me somewhere with a shortcut... but I guess he had better things to do."

"Hey, I know he's happy to slack off and ditch anything that looks like work, but I don't believe for a second he'd completely abandon you," Undyne snapped. "He's out there somewhere, and we'll find him--but for now, you're getting out of the house."

"How?!"

"I told you, I know some spots that are way out of the way--no one'll ever see you. I usually use 'em to train.. or.... um... reenact scenes from human history stuff Alphys has shown me... But! It's perfect! I've got another patrol in a bit, so we can head over now and you can hang out there until I'm done. How's that sound?"

Papyrus mulled it over. "And you promise no one will see?"

Undyne nodded firmly. "You have my word. C'mon, let's get some snacks and stuff for you and get going."

"Um... maybe I will take that chew toy too. Just in case."

Undyne beamed, and together they packed a small sling of supplies. Together, they snuck furtively through passages and halls before coming to a grotto leading up a cliff face. Undyne rolled her shoulders, then vaulted up the walls, quickly scaling them; after only a few moments of consideration, Papyrus followed her, leaping most of the way before digging in with his claws and hauling himself the rest of the way up. They traversed another passage, ducking stalactites and squeezing through when the passage narrowed to a fraction of its original width. It was clear why no one ever came this way--it was a hassle just to get through.

But finally the hall opened into a sizable cavern, illuminated by massive spires of glowing crystals, and a still lake filled one side towards the back. A cliff thrust dramatically over the water, and Papyrus instantly knew Undyne used it to practice monologues. No wonder she liked this spot.

"We're here!" she said cheerfully, spinning on her heel to face him as she gestured at the scenery. "I've explored every cranny of this place. There are no other offshoots of any tunnels, and it's so far away no one can hear you scream as you reach your next power level. You can do whatever you want here!"

"Thank you for showing it to me, Undyne. But now I know this secret about you," Papyrus teased.

"And if you tell anyone, I'll have to kill you," Undyne replied, a smile still on her face.

"I gladly accept!"

Undyne coughed laughing. "Oh my god! Papyrus!"

"Not to worry, Undyne, I only jest! I would never tell anyone your secrets. I'd say my lips are sealed, but I don't have any!"

Undyne burst out laughing again, and Papyrus waved his tail from side to side--joking around with Undyne always made him feel better. It was too bad she had to leave, but she had a job to do.

"Well hey, I gotta head out, but we'll hang out here after I'm done, okay?" she promised, and he watched her go feeling optimistic. He still hated having to stay away from everyone, but... at least this place was big enough to run around in.

He turned to study the cavern once more--then unhooked the sling of goodies from his spines and took off, dashing around the room, splashing through the shallows of the lake, climbing the rock formations only to leap and take off again. Oh, to run and jump and move again, why, he could just--

He opened his jaws wide to let a beam of pure magic sear through the air. He snapped his mouth shut and skidded to a halt in surprise--oh. Too soon. He'd have to get a better handle on that one for sure.

Heaving a sigh, Papyrus shook himself out with a clatter and paced over to the sling he'd left on the cave floor. Pulling it open with claws and teeth, he eyed the chew toy--a little rubber newspaper--and picked it up before walking over to the lakeside and laying down. Despite his initial reluctance to take it, it had occurred to him that if he really was going to work to accept his form as it was, he might as well indulge some of the instincts he had. It was surprisingly satisfying to squeeze the rubber between his teeth as he thought, and it helped with the general fidgetiness he'd been feeling of late.

No wonder the dogs liked this kind of thing. It was actually pretty calming.

Eventually, he lost interest though. He set the toy aside and wandered over to the other things they'd packed. Snacks... no, he wasn't hungry. He pushed a can of peanuts away, and it rolled with a clatter... He looked at it pointedly and pushed it again, harder. It rolled further and he hopped to give chase, batting and pawing at it, sending it spinning across the cave floor. He pounced on it--and it skidded from under his claws right into the lake. He went after it, but it was too late--it had already sunk out of sight. He lashed his tail in frustration, his toy gone--but a flash of white beneath the water's surface caught his eye.

He crept to the edge--and was soon entertaining himself by chasing eyeless cave fish around the shallows, summoning tiny bone mazes and watching as they wove through the obstacles to avoid him. But eventually they fled to the depths where he feared to tread, and he left the water to shake and dry off. Oh, that chewy thing looked fun again.

A sound caught his attention--one that wasn't made by him. It felt like a really long time since there'd been any sounds, and he rose into a low crouch as he listened to it draw near. A hard, clanking sound, something big--wait, he knew what it was! A friend! He'd play with them.

"Papyrus! I'm back!" Undyne called into the cavern, and was immediately tackled from behind. She rolled onto her back and kicked, sending her assailant flying with a yelp. She got to her feet, already beaming. "Hah! You thought you could pull one over on ME?! I'm the Captain of the Royal freakin' Guard, punk!"

Papyrus had risen as well, and fixed her with a daring look--before taking off across the room, only to circle back and bark at her when she didn't follow.

"What, you think this is a GAME?!" she bellowed, and took off after him. They wove around the room, throwing out bones and spears alike to try tripping each other up; Undyne was fast, but on four legs, Papyrus was faster and ran circles around her, sometimes stopping just out of reach as if to taunt her.

Wait. Why wasn't he just taunting her?

"Dude, Papyrus, timeout," she called, slowing to a jog. Papyrus continued to trot around her mockingly. She scowled, and cast a spear horizontally in his path--he leapt over it easily and didn't slow down at all, jumping over it again as he circled back around. "Oh come on!"

He trilled something that almost sounded like "nyeh heh heh", and Undyne squinted.

"Uh, Papyrus...? Why aren't you talking?"

Finally, he seemed to slow down, and confusion danced briefly on his face. But then he went back to trotting at full speed, that mischievous look back on his face.

Undyne frowned, and brandished another spear. With a wave, Papyrus' soul flashed green, and he was suddenly locked in place. He gave a playful growl as he spun to face her, tail lashing. Light gathered in his jaws--Undyne lunged forward, wrapping her hand around his muzzle. His eyes went wide in surprise, and white-hot sparks shot from between his teeth as he coughed on his unfired beam. Undyne let him go, and he spluttered for a bit more before shaking himself out and staring at the ground.

"Ahem. Oh dear."

"Papyrus?"

He looked up at her. "Yes."

Undyne made a face at him. "Did you forget how to talk or something?"

Papyrus winced. "Um. Maybe a little."

"How does that even happen? Are you okay?" Undyne asked, and Papyrus shook himself out again before sitting and staring at his feet.

"It's so easy sometimes," he uttered, and she lowered a brow.

"To forget how to talk?"

"To forget how to person."

Undyne grimaced. "Is that... part of your... um. Transformation?"

Papyrus shrugged. "A little, I guess. There are some things that just make more sense, like this. Like, how to smell things, how to chase... It's like parts of my brain wake up--or would, if I had a brain. But, it's like other parts want to sleep. Ones that... supposedly are less useful."

Undyne saw the subtle shiver that ran through him.

But Papyrus quickly puffed his chest out. "But it's fine! They only want to sleep, and I don't sleep! I slipped up a little bit today, but that's okay! I'm still me!"

"Yeah you are," Undyne affirmed, punching him lightly in the shoulder and knocking him off balance. "Still, should I, uh, be worried about it?"

"No! Because you'll be able to break me out of it! You're great at breaking things!"

"Heck yeah! Don't worry Papyrus, I've got your back," Undyne reassured him. "You ready to head home?"

"Yes! I think I'm in sore need of some bad television. Just the thing to take my mind off losing my mind!"

"Papyrus, oh my god."

It was much later, long after Undyne had gone to bed, that Papyrus let himself think about what had happened. It was unsettling how easily he'd given in to instinct today. And sure, he was trying to accept himself for what he was, and that meant accepting those instincts too. But until he was used to engaging all parts of his mind equally--as easily as he'd once exchanged one form for another--it was too easy to slip firmly into what he had wanted him to be. Was it really their training that made it so alluring, or was it something intrinsic about this form that made acting on instinct so easy...?

He really had to wonder how Sans was doing on that front.

The doctor had had him the longest, pushed him the hardest. He'd never been able to mold him into the perfectly obedient weapon he desired, but he'd worn him down until there was little left but his instincts, and that was almost as good in the doctor's eyes. Papyrus had managed to encourage him to reclaim the full range of his senses and intelligence, but it hadn't been easy, and Sans had relapsed many times before they'd finally sent the doctor to his fate.

But they weren't in the lab anymore; wherever Sans was, Papyrus had doubts it was nearly as harsh.

[dreamingofscully]

Grey Canyon 14/?

Rating: Current Chapter: PG, Series: up to Mature Categories: Western AU / MSR / WIP WC: 2546 / Total WC: 23,827 Updated on Mondays and Fridays.

Thank you to @ceruleanmilieu for the beta! ❤️ Tagging: @impulsive-astrophile @baronessblixen @suitablyaggrieved @sculderfan​ @today-in-fic (let me know if you want to be tagged when I post!)

all chapters in order: ao3 / tumblr

CH 1 / CH 2 / CH 3 / CH 4 / CH 5 / CH 6 / CH 7 / CH 8 / CH 9 / CH 10 / CH 11 / CH 12 / CH 13

CHAPTER 14: “Sunrise/sunset”

Grey Canyon, Colorado 1885

Nothing frustrated Mulder more than inaction. It was his biggest strength, and yet also his weakness. He would not shy away from doing what was needed, except when it came to waiting. And yet, waiting has been imposed on him in two ways. First, by the circumstances involving Dana’s brothers. He did not know if they were close, or if they had no idea where she was. He would not take the chance to investigate, to expose her, or to leave her alone for longer than an hour or two. Second, the impasse he’d placed upon himself regarding his relationship with Dana, upon furthering their intimacy. He would do what was right, it was important. But what did that look like? He didn’t know, it was only a feeling he had, deep in his gut.

His mind kept turning back to yesterday morning’s pathetic proposal. Then, to awakening next to her, the smell and feel of her body next to his as she clung to him in sleep. The way her hair shone against the backdrop of the sunrise through her window, a cloud of golden-red. When she awoke, the smile she gave him, secret and special. And the gentle kiss she’d pressed to the hand that rested on her shoulder. He would have that future: living through every sunrise with her next to him. He didn’t know why he could not let himself stay, to enjoy her entirely. To avoid her disappointed gaze when he left, over and over.

So, he brooded. Sat at the bar, chin on his fist, staring at the wall but not seeing it. He felt some solution was within his reach, just out of his grasp. The idea floated just underneath his consciousness, fuzzy and unclear.

Suddenly, a vague shape coalesced.

“Melvin!”

The barkeep sauntered over to him after pouring Walt a drink, frowning and silent.

“What was that story you told me a while back about your aunt?”

***

Early evening descended upon the Gilded Hall. The sun was well on its way to setting, the sky turning from bright blue to a more muted tone, hints of gold in the west along the ridges of the Rocky Mountains. Mulder shielded his eyes and watched from his vantage up on the roof of the hall. He paced, wiping his sweaty palms on his best trousers, checking to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything in his preparations.

After speaking with Melvin, he made quick work of his plans, invigorated by his idea. Madam had supplied him with the scarf, blue silk embroidered prettily with yellow daisies along the edges. Melvin, who was waiting inside, had washed his face and looked quite out of place in his suit, hair stuffed underneath his somewhat-cleaner black bowler hat.

The blanket he’d retrieved from Nellie, as she watched their preparations curiously. It was something she kept in her chest, a present from a former life, and she wanted Dana to have it. She handed it over, shyly remarking “Make sure to treat her right, Fox.”

He’d hoped this would do it. That she’d finally be treated right, as she deserved.

The tapping of the ladder summoned him from his reverie. He removed his hat, placing it on the blanket and cushions spread over the freshly swept roof. A couple chairs, an oil lamp for when the sun fell from the sky, and a covered dish with their dinner completed the picture.

The top of Dana’s hair poked out from the hole in the roof. Not meant to be commonly accessed, the open hatch, which Mulder discovered earlier in the afternoon, was the perfect final touch. The sunset, some stargazing, and something else that would finally allow him to explore the rest of his future with her.

“Some help, please!”

He rushed over and bent downwards, grabbing her arms and lifting her up onto the roof. She looked back down through the hatch and waved at Melvin.

“I think he got quite the show,” she said, quirking her eyebrow.

“I’m sure he’ll never forget it.”

She chucked and dusted off her blue gown where some dirt had clung to it in her climb. Then her eyes took in the view, her expression turning from amusement and curiosity to wonderment. It really was spectacular up here. Distant enough from the street to avoid the offensive smells and sounds. The plains rising up into mountains in the west, far enough away that the sun hadn’t yet disappeared behind them.

“What’s all this, then?” She turned to face him.

“A surprise. Something nice,” he said, guiding her to the blanket and chairs with a hand on her lower back.

“Well, all right then,” she said, her face flushing with pleasure and a smile peeking onto her lips.

They sat and ate, feeding each other bits of fruit and cheese and tearing off pieces of fresh bread. A few birds landed near them, and they shared their crumbs. He was happy to see her enjoyment, but as the backdrop of their dinner transformed into the painted hues of purple and red and orange, he felt his heart flutter, his hands start to sweat.

“Do you know why I prefer the sunset?” she asked, after their conversation went silent.

He shook his head, wiping his hands on his knees before taking the nearly-empty plate from her and placing it away from them.

“The stars,” she said. Her face tilted upwards at the sky, a few sparkling dots appearing in the canvas of deep blue above them. “My father would take me sailing, sometimes. Tell me stories about the constellations, the myths surrounding them. I feel as though he is here when I look upwards at night.” She lowered her gaze to him. “I don’t get much opportunity nowadays.”

“I know.”

She reached over and squeezed his hand, then got up from her chair and pulled him down next to her on the blanket. Sitting along her side and facing him, she leaned against the cushions on an elbow and looked skyward once more. Once he’d settled near her, his thumb brushing along her wrist, she began to speak again.

“You have heard the story of Andromeda?”

He nodded. “But I would hear it from you.”

“Let me show you, first,” she said, leaning close to him and pointing out a particularly bright set of stars. “You see those stars there, that form a square?”

He followed her finger, tearing his gaze from her face. “Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s Pegasus. Follow it there, upwards slightly…” She directed his gaze, and at first he could not see anything except a chaotic mess of white lights against an inky backdrop. But then it came together, and he could see the pattern as she spoke, the rest of the stars fading to insignificance.

“I see it!” he exclaimed.

She smiled, and continued, telling him of the story of how an innocent daughter was abandoned by her family, chained to a rock and left for a beast, until a stranger came along and changed her fate. As she spoke, a wistful expression on her face, he could not help but make the comparison. He wouldn’t claim to have saved her, not yet at least, but he would certainly do whatever he could against the monster that was coming.

He no longer looked skyward. Her expression softened as she told the story, eyes shining as she not only remembered the tale, but the memory of the person who told it to her. He wanted to give her that, again, give her something from which she could look back and think only of warmth, instead of regret.

Trailing his hand along her arm, folded between them, he grasped her hand.

“You’re not looking at the stars,” she said, peering at him out of the corner of her eyes.

“I am looking at what is most important,” he said, making her blush. “And I am listening.”

She touched his face, her thumb dragging along his bottom lip, eyes turned serious. “I wish you could have met him.”

“Your father.”

“He would have liked you.”

“A military man liking someone with outlandish ideas and designs for his daughter? I am doubtful.”

She laughed. “He would have seen you, as I do.”

“And what do you see?”

“A good man,” she said, leaning forwards and kissing him softly on his lips. She was very convincing.

She moved closer, leaning her head on his shoulder and continuing her search of the night sky, and within her own mind for happier times, he thought. His heart sped up, not only due to her proximity but of the question he still needed to ask her.

“Would I be Medusa, in that story, or perhaps the flying horse?” he joked.

She smiled widely at him, laughing freely. He slipped out from beside her and lit the oil lamp, the moon and stars their only illumination; they were draped in shadows and he wanted to see her. When he returned to her side, she grasped his hand within hers, pulling it to her mouth and kissing his palm.

“This… whole thing is lovely. Thank you.”

He cleared his throat, suddenly very warm despite the chill of the night air. He twisted his collar, loosening it slightly and fidgeting next to her.

“What has gotten you so nervous, Mulder? You do know that these stories are only myths, right? Or do you also believe in sea monsters?” she teased.

He bowed his head. “I admit, I, uh, have an ulterior motive to all of this…” he said, waving his hands at the setting he’d created for them.

“Well, if it’s to get into this dress, you already know where I stand, so it must be something else,” she said playfully, her head tilting at him. “Out with it.”

“So, I’ve been thinking about our situation...” he started.

“‘Situation’?” she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

He flushed, laughed nervously. “I have another story to tell, and you can thank Melvin for it, although perhaps he’d already been paid with a good view.”

Dana smiled and nodded, patting his hand.

“He’s part Irish, like yourself, also part Scot. A mix of many things I suppose. Cherokee, too, he claims, though he lacks the height for me to believe that,” he said. He clasped her hand within his, squeezing it. “His aunt Katie told him the story about how she met her husband. There’s a tradition, over there, where they choose their mates through a wall, only having seen the woman’s hand. They are bonded then, for a year and a day…”

He stared at their hands, having no doubt he would know hers.

“It started a long time ago, when a priest was not available.”

When he looked back at her, her head was bowed as she waited, quiet and still.

“Once chosen, they would fasten a scarf around their hands, and they would live together as if married, for the year and a day, or until a child came, or a priest came by.”

He brought the scarf the Madam gave him from inside his pocket and placed it next to their hands.

“It only requires a witness, and Melvin agreed--”

“Stop,” Dana interrupted, withdrawing her hand. She stood up quickly and backed away a few steps.

“If he is too offensive, perhaps the Madam would agree…?” He stood as well, taking the scarf in one hand, reaching out to her with the other.

She shook her head, and he saw the glistening of tears in her eyes. “All of it, Mulder.”

“But--”

“The answer to your question is no, and I should have been clear before,” she said, not meeting his eyes.

Mulder’s shoulders slumped. “Of course… I shouldn’t have assumed that you wanted this, that I was… the marrying type.”

“Look at me,” she said, her voice sharp.

He did, massaging the back of his neck. This wasn’t turning out how he’d envisioned, the exact opposite, in fact. Instead of a happy Dana, kissing, and… perhaps more, she stood in front of him, upset and perhaps a little angry, for a reason he could not fathom. He waited, feeling the weight of guilt already settling on his shoulders.

“I do not need a fancy ring, or a scarf, or anything else to know how I feel about you. How you feel about me,” she started. Her eyes softened slightly, but she did not approach. “If my circumstances had been any different, if I’d ended up like one of the girls here, would I be any less worthy of your love, of your commitment?”

“Of course not,” he said.

From the look on her face, he guessed she did not believe him. “I am so tired of other people thinking they know what is best for me, or, as you say it, what I deserve.”

“Dana, I… do not mean it that way." He bowed his head, unable to look at her. Not wanting to fight, to turn this into something ugly, but the right words escaped him. He found his anger starting to build as well. How could she think such a thing? Then the doubt. Have I really made her feel that way?

“Maybe so. But that is not my only reason for my refusal,” she said. “I have seen what happens, when a woman gets married. My mother, my sister, my friends at college. A wife is treated as even less of an individual. Even if she fights against it, as my sister did, it changes her."

She stepped closer, pointing her finger at his chest but not quite touching it. Her cheeks were red and her eyes blazed.

"When I marry, I will no longer be myself. I become your wife, your property, not my own person. If you cannot understand that, then we are finished speaking."

"Dana I do not want a wife, I want you." He clenched his hands into fists, twisting the delicate scarf in his grasp.

"Even if you did not mean to change me, it would happen. And I do not mean to lose myself," she said, pursing her lips, and turning away from him.

He grabbed her arm to prevent her from moving away, his anger rising. "You say I am ridiculous, that I have crazy ideas, well yours is the most absurd idea I have ever heard. Just because we are together in some official capacity does not mean that anything changes!"

Dana stared at his arm, then looked up at his face, her eyes cold and furious. She spoke harshly. "No offense, sir, but you are not a woman. You do not know what it is like--”

“Dana--”

“I am not finished. If whatever object you conjure to bind us together does not change anything then why is it so important to you? Why do you insist on it before we take things further. It means something, to you at least... and I cannot give that to you."

Wrenching her arm away from his grasp, she stalked towards the hatch in the roof and climbed down as fast as her dress would allow. She did not look back.

Mulder stood there, shocked, the delicate scarf falling from his hand onto the dusty rooftop.

[crystalrequiem]

The Voice that Urged Orpheus

[Part 1/6(?)] [TRC] Summary: Kurogane tries to grapple with how attractive Fai is, fails to propose marriage, and is generally a gay disaster. 

Tags: Kuro/Fai, Canon Universe, Post-Canon,

Warnings:  suggestive thoughts (nothing graphic), overly sappy feelings, Kurogane’s unique combination of emotional intelligence and social incapability. [Part 1] - [Part 2]

Hello friends. It’s been a while since I posted Fic here. I will probably try to get this up on AO3 all in one piece? but I’m a creature that craves validation so it’s up here first piecemeal i guess.  As a hint of this thing’s intended trajectory, its joke title is “5 times Kurogane sat consumed with lust for the evening and 1 time he got to do something about it” So-- maybe eventually some citrusy content of whichever flavor... >_>

Tomoyo did this to torment him, he thinks.

Gliding through the room easy as a fish in water, the Mage makes himself at home as the life of the party. However stilted the his usual attempts at Japanese, with Mokona here to translate he runs circles around the courtiers and their linguistic games. He acts every bit the part of the charming prince he should have been in a kinder life—darting from conversation to conversation, quick with an easy smile and a cutting joke, still managing to keep a careful eye on Syaoran.

Watching Fai smile honest and free of the weight of worry still seems to Kurogane like a miracle, but it doesn’t ruin him. On its own, it doesn’t drive him to hide away on the sidelines, hand clenched tight around his artificial wrist as he struggles to keep his own thoughts in check. No. The real torture derives from the indecent spill of Fai’s hair—a delicately ornamented, flowing stream of gold that traces his pale neck down to a blue silk collar worn just a little too loose. It’s the way he moves in that thing—ridiculous sleeves so long they nearly brush the floor, but somehow he hasn’t lost an ounce of grace. It’s—

The sight of Fai in nearly any garment of Nihon would still have struck him—his traitorous, possessive mind all too willing to catch on thoughts of the mage in his clothes and in his land—but Tomoyo had gone to lengths to make it worse. The cut and drape of what she made for Fai would advertise their relationship on its own, but she’d once again seen fit to embroider the black moon at his chest. Standard for any shinobi under her command, but Fai is not, and with Kurogane’s status as it is… It’s safe to assume every single person here knows what kind of item they are. Just thinking about it is enough to drive a man to distraction.

As if on cue, the mage catches his eye across the crowd and grants him a quiet smile. For an instant, he forgets how to breathe. Fai’s stupid grin can send his heart stuttering in his chest on a good day, but looking like that—

Kurogane growls and turns away. He hopes to whatever god still listens that his face doesn’t reflect the sorts of things running through his head. The fingers wrapped around his metal wrist grip tight enough to hurt, if he’d had any nerves.

“Blue really is his color.”

He has long believed that Tomoyo possesses an extra special sense for his embarrassment.

“Did you need something, your highness?” He grits. Her bell-like peals of laughter fill the shadowed alcove at his expense.

“Who can say? Maybe I just wanted to visit with my favorite subject.” He doesn’t bother granting her a response. He’s almost glad for her distraction, however ill-intentioned it may be. At least it gives him a chance to collect himself. “How much longer do you think you can stay this time?”  Kurogane shrugs in answer.

“Same as usual. Just until the Manjuu says we need to move again. Maybe another day or two I’d guess.” He starts to relax, the heat in his veins cooling ever so slowly, until Tomoyo adds with a pout,

“Not enough time for a wedding then.”

“Princess,” he chokes, mortally affronted as she laughs harder. He tries to tune her out, but keeping his cool presents a serious challenge while he can’t help imagining…

He doesn’t know what exact moment he’d decided he needed Fai at his side always. Maybe as early as Yama? Maybe something in him knew even before that. Either way, his vision of the future rings empty without Fai there to meet it with him, whatever form that might take. Co-caretakers for the kids, battle companions, friends or paramours—whatever Fai deigns to give him, he wants. It’s only somehow in all of that… he’s never really thought about something like a wedding. He really could ask, couldn’t he? Would Fai want that?

He tunes back in to reality and finds Tomoyo staring, all quiet acceptance and expectation. She likes to tease, but in this he senses no joke. She means it—wants him to know that she does. The court in Nihon accepts male lovers easily enough, but he has never heard of a marriage between them. She means to offer him that: the possibility of tradition shattered beneath the weight of the imperial throne.

“You are my dearest and oldest friend. When your sojourn ends for good, I will make sure this is a land you want to return to.” Tomoyo flashes a gentle smile, fleeting between the narrow gap of fan and hair. “The court could use some new ways of thinking.” She murmurs as she looks away, back towards the party and the majority of the court. As usual, her political shrewdness surpasses him. He should have realized she had more reason to parade Fai about than to tease her favorite former protector.

“Princess Tomoyo, I—” He doesn’t know how to answer her, but he doesn’t get the chance to try. She only shakes her head and stares past him, her eyes locked to something over his shoulder.

“Fai! How are you finding the party?” She chirrups, holding her fan a little higher to hide her expression, which is far too self-satisfied. Kurogane freezes like a child caught sneaking sweets.

“Perfectly well, thank you, your highness.” With his thoughts running rampant, Fai’s presence burns like a brand in his awareness. He shuts his eyes and tries not to think too hard about the crescent moons embroidered starkly on that damnable outfit, or exactly what he wants them to mean.

Unfortunately Fai doesn’t understand what ails him and mistakes his attempt at control for annoyance. “Alright there, Kuro-Grumpy?” He teases, voice colored by a fleck of genuine concern as he brushes his fingers against the base of Kurogane’s neck. Tomoyo laughs at the way he stiffens. She knows exactly what she’s done and isn’t at all sorry.

“I’m sure he is,” she teases, coquettish as she gathers her train in one hand. “I’d best leave you two be. Doubtless you have much to talk about.”

Doubtless, his thoughts echo, indignant. He marks her for a traitor as she leaves him be with only Fai and his racing mind for company. He tries to use his feelings of annoyance to strip this buzzing hyper-awareness away… to little effect.

“…Kuro?” He lets the silence linger too long, and the mage grows worried. Kurogane huffs and his gaze falls back on Fai at last.

He’s standing far too close, he thinks as his vision floods with the man he loves most. Too close and too beautiful and waiting too long for him to respond. He tries to find an answer to Fai’s concern and forgets how to use words. Struck stupid by the sight of his magician all he can manage is a hoarse,

“Hello.”

“Hello,” Fai echoes warily, expression warring between amusement and apprehension. “Is everything okay?”

Kurogane catches Fai’s gaze and the rest of the world seems to fade from view, drowned by perfect blue. Blue now—not the stubborn amber of blood-lust or the jarring blot of onyx in an uncertain world—just blue. Bright and alive and still here with him after everything and damn it… he wants Fai by his side for all the hues that might follow.

“What’s wrong?” the mage grows more anxious with each second of silence and starts to draw his hand away, already turning to try to determine what threat has Kurogane unsettled. This won’t do. He catches the hand before it can retreat and keeps Fai’s attention, even as his feelings dam his throat closed. He closes his eyes and tries to find a way to explain what he wants, but the words just don’t come.

You look nice, is banal and, hey, marry me? Seems like a bad thing to spring on someone unexpected at a party. I love you so much, it hurts, is true, but sounds like an accusation and not one he means to levy. He doesn’t regret any part of this. Not for a single instant.

He takes his usual route and settles for action when words fail him—cradles Fai’s captured hand with his own and presses his lips to the center of Fai’s palm.

He looks the way he does every time Kurogane manages to demonstrate some degree of the depths of his feelings: as though the floor has fallen beneath his feet and he has no ground to stand on.

“Oh,” the mage murmurs, backlit by a low light that bounces subtly off the silk of his clothes and the shining gold of his hair. Kurogane wants little more than to pull him deeper into shadow and kiss him until everything he struggles to say coalesces without words.

He doesn’t look away as he shifts their positions to let Fai’s shaking fingers linger over the shape of his jaw. He keeps his hold on Fai’s wrist gentle—tries to provide an anchor to reality as the blonde’s thoughts race behind his eyes. “…Kuro? I’m not…sure this is the time or place for—whatever this is.”

He’s not wrong, but he also makes no move to pull away. Kurogane sighs and closes his eyes, tries to block out the vision that captivates him even as he leans into Fai’s touch. He can’t do more than that with the party still buzzing, barely concealed behind the thin veneer of privacy the alcove affords. He has to say something. He can’t leave it be—not now with his mind so locked on the idea of forever.

“I—Fai. When all this is over, do you, maybe—”

He almost says it then. He doesn’t’ even know the words on the tip of his tongue—they spill forth organically, easily for once in his life and he’s going to say something, even if he doesn’t quite know what. So of course that’s when the kids find them.

“Aha! Mokona’s super secret technique, Finding Mommy and Daddy!” the blasted bun’s cheery announcement treads roughshod over his every nerve. Probably Fai’s too if he had to guess; the mage jerks back as if he’s been burned, his awful fake smile plastered back into place. “Oh no! Did we interrupt?”

…we…?

Kurogane takes a deep breath and dares to turn around. Sure enough, there stand both Syaoran and Mokona. The Manjuu is perfectly chipper but Syaoran at least has the good grace to look embarrassed.

“S-sorry!” he stutters, face a burning red. “I didn’t know you were—uh…. We’ll just go over here, and—”

Fai comes to their rescue as usual. All too used to acting despite his feelings, he casts off embarrassment like a shroud and bustles forth to reassure the kid.

“Nothing to worry about!” he crows, “We were just about to head back in to the fray.” He glides closer to Syaoran and blocks the lingering electricity in the air with distance. Every motion still so damnably graceful—Kurogane feels further doomed with every breath. He crosses his empty arms and leans into the wall, watching his love retreat.  

“Ask me later?” Fai mouths as he rushes away, the corners of his eyes soft with apology. Kurogane huffs and musters something like a smile to reassure him.

“Sure,” he mouths back, though he still doesn’t really know what he wants to say.

…this is going to be a thing, isn’t it? He can just feel it.

[serahsanguine]

Lust, Anger, And Greed NC-17  Easter Exchange

Here is my Easter Exchange Story called Lust, Anger, Greed

This story is for  @suilven19  

I had so much fun writing this. 

prompt;   surprise me! I would love something flirty with so much UST you can hardly breathe culminating. (RST)

tagging @today-in-fic @xfilesfanficexchange

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Notes; both Part one, and Part Two 

Ao3

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Mulder and Scully office; Hoover Building

Things had been heating up between Mulder and Scully as of late, the sexual energy between them was like lighting a match to create a flame. It was only a couple of nights ago when Mulder had taken Scully to play baseball. She hadn't the heart to tell him that she knew how to play; growing up with two brothers would do that to a person. But their closeness is what she enjoyed the most: the way he wrapped his hand around the bat, the way he whispered in her ear. As the minutes passed, she could feel him poking her and it wasn’t any gun. He didn't say anything to her so she didn't say anything back. But if they were both going to admit it to themselves they both enjoyed it a lot.

So here they were, sitting across from each other, staring deeply into each other eyes. Mulder was talking about how they had not had any cases as of late. He looked like a lost puppy when he didn't have anything to do. The pencils in the ceiling were such evidence of this. She loved his puppy eyes, he looked so young and boyish, so cute but sexy. She was completely lost in thought.

“Scully, Earth to Scully.”

“Umm, yes. Sorry, Mulder.”

“So, I was asking if I could take you out to a baseball game sometime?”  He coughed, repeating the question. “You know, there is one this weekend and since you enjoyed playing the game so much... Well I, uhm, I thought we could go together.” He was shy and awkward.

“Yes, Mulder. I would love to.”

“Ok, it’s a date, then.” Scully raised her eyebrow at him “No… I mean, two friends going out together.”

His inner monologue ran away with him again but he was wanting and hoping it to be a date.

Friday; Scully’s Apartment

The week passed by so quickly, and both Mulder and Scully were nervous about tonight's events. Both wanted it to be so much more, but neither said a word. They had both left work early, still with no cases it meant there was no paperwork to fill in.

Scully was sitting in her bedroom deciding what to wear. She wanted to look sexy and casual, wanting him to notice her. Secretly she craved for him to hold her hand, to kiss her for the night, to run away together... but that was never going to happen, was it? If she was truly being honest, she knew that Mulder had never seen her as anything more than a friend. Yes, a best friend, the person he leaned on in times of trouble (well, most of the time at least). But she also knew he would never trust her with his heart, he had had it broken too many times.  

There Scully sat on her double bed with the sun lowering on the horizon, with three different shades of blue jeans, and two different types of black jeans. Tank tops, halterneck tops, polo neck tops, and several different jackets spread over her bed. This would have been so much easier if Mellisa was still here, she always knew the best outfits to impress without it being too out there. She quickly shook the thought out of her head: she wanted tonight to be a happy one.

Mulder’s Apartment; same time.    

Mulder was sitting on his sofa. He was nervous, he already had his outfit picked out: he had had it since he had mentioned the game to Scully on Monday morning. What he had actually been doing was tidying his apartment and refilling his fridge, just in case he did take the chance and invite Scully back with him. Did he have the courage to even invite her over or would he chicken out like he normally did? Was he really willing to take the leap of faith? Did she even replicate his feelings or did it just stay where it lay as best friends?  The night they had spent together not so long ago had stirred up so many feeling for him, holding her in a way he had never held her before, being close to her. And not because she had a crazy sociopath after her or because she was sick or dying. It was because she wanted to be there, she wanted him close. And for once he let his pretence go and enjoyed the time spent with him. Being close to her had sent small jolts through his body, and being so close physically, pushing his crotch into her firm ass sent quite a few impulses to his body and by the end of the night he was... well, let’s just say he could not walk straight and it hurt like hell. Luckily, she didn’t notice and if she did, she didn’t say a word. As soon as he got home he didn’t need any sexual reading material or videos, just his imagination and the smell of her still lingering on his clothes

A Few Hours Later.

Mulder had showered and changed, checking things off his mental checklist before leaving: wallet, tickets, keys and one last spritz of aftershave before shutting and locking the door behind him. He walked down the hallway and into the elevator. Arriving at his car, he looked up at the sky turning from clear blues to oranges, yellows and red. He smiled at the colour blends reminding him of Scully’s hair. Thankfully, it looked like it was going to be a clear night. He stepped into his car, finding some smooth jazz to listen to on the short drive to Scully's. He arrived there around 20 minutes later. Standing outside her door, he looked at his watch. He was half an hour early, he so desperately wanted to see her. He might even go as far as saying he missed her in the few short hours they had spent apart. And so he knocked.

Scully looked through the spy hole on her door and saw him smiling from ear to ear. Mulder looked cute and adorable. She opened the door and took in his full appearance, scanning him up and down. She liked what she saw. There he was, standing in deep blue jeans hanging low on his hips. With a grey t-shirt that fitted him perfectly hugging his abs and biceps and slung over his left arm was her favourite leather jacket.     

“Come in Mulder.” She gestured for him to walk in. “Sit down on the sofa, I’m still getting ready. I wasn’t expecting you this early”

Well, I kinda was, you’re always early when it means something to you, she smiled at the thought of this meaning something more to the both of them as she gently closed the door behind her.

She turned around to see him already sitting on her sofa and about to put the TV on.

“If you want any coffee there is a fresh pot.”

She walked through to her bedroom leaving the door open. Ever since that first case there had come to some unspoken agreement they would have adjoining rooms and never lock the doors she felt comfortable with him in her apartment, but she did wish it would be a more permanent thing.

She stood there in the mirror finishing off her makeup. She went with the smokey eye effect it made her blue eyes pop and some red lipstick. It was different from what she would wear to work, she barely put any foundation on, she knew he liked her freckles and even that little beauty mark near her mouth. She smiled at herself and grabbed her own leather jacket before closing the door.

She walked through to the living room, catching Mulder putting his empty cup in the sink. He heard her walk through and they stood there staring at each other. The gleam in his eye told her that he approved of what she was wearing. In the end, she had decided to wear black jeans that curved her hips just the way she liked it and a deep blue tank top that set off her eyes. Missy always said she looked good in blue with her red hair and pale skin.

“We should get going if you want to avoid heavy traffic”

“Yess… umm… You look beautiful”

“Thank you Mulder, you don’t look so bad yourself”

Wait, he thought, did I actually say that out loud and did she compliment me back?

“Thank you Scully” he smiled at her and tried to hide his blush. He wasn’t used to giving and receiving compliments.

They both grabbed their jackets and walked towards Mulder’s car and made their way to the Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium, also known as RFK Stadium. The sun had gone away already and the moon and stars were shining bright. Scully looked over at her partner as the streets lights illuminated his face, his hands drumming on the steering wheel along to the beat of whatever song was on the radio. She studied him. He looked so carefree, so relaxed; he seemed almost happy. Mulder looked at her and smiled taking a quick glance at where her hand was set on his upper leg. She hadn’t realised she had placed it there.

“Sorry, Mulder I just...”

“Well, if you just wanted to touch me all you had to do was ask.”  He was teasing, they both knew it. But sometimes instead of throwing sexual banter at her, he would actually follow through with it, instead of leaving her sexually frustrated 95 percent of the time.

They soon arrived at their destination. There were already quite a few cars parked and loads more behind them, it looked like tonight’s game would be packed out. They showed their tickets at the entrance and walked through the arena. It was well lit. She looked to the open outfield full of the lush green grass. Mulder showed them to their seats placing his hand on the small of her back. His place, she thought. Always his, even after the tattoo. As they moved in between the seats she noticed his hand had slid slightly from her back to her ass. She hummed silently to herself, she liked the feel of his large hand cupping her ass it was nice.

Thirty minutes passed and Scully had stopped paying attention to the game. Her eyes were more focused on the man sitting beside her. He was truly enjoying the game. Their fingers had interlocked about 10 minutes ago. Her head wanted to question it but her heart won this round as it often did these last days. The feel of his skin against her send little shivers throughout her body, she was happy and content and was enjoying the time spent with him. No monsters, no ex-girlfriends, no illness; just purely the two of them spending time together as ‘friends’. She was starting to get a little chilly so she decided to not so subtly get closer to him, resting her head in the crook of his neck and wrapping one arm around his back. It was warm, and comforting, it was just what she needed. Maybe it would rain sleeping bags tonight. With that thought, she turned back and enjoyed the game.

The game was halfway through, and the pair had decided to grab some refreshments. They were waiting in the queue and Scully noticed how beautiful the waitress was. She was tall, cute, with long brown hair. She was definitely the Mulder type.

Mulder had gotten Scully a diet coke and some crisps. Everything was perfect, except for the way he was being with the waitress, so attentive she might even go as far as to think he was flirting with her. Their hands lingering a little too long, the manner in which he spoke to her a little too close. This was supposed to be her and Mulder on a ‘friend outing’. Who was she kidding? It was a date, she knew it, and he seemed like he wanted it to be. Until a couple of minutes back, that was. She grabbed her drink and walked quickly back to their seats. Mulder tried to place his hand on the small of her back but she shrugged him off.

“Scully is everything alright?” He was concerned for her when they sat back at their seats.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Her answer was too quick and little too sharp and snappy.  

“Are you sure? You walked away quite all of a sudden.” He knew something was the matter, he could always tell and the number one sign was her using her go-to answer ‘I’m Fine’. He sighed in defeat. Things were going so well, he hadn’t a clue what he had done wrong. If only she would let him know and he could either resolve the issue or apologise for it. In this situation and, if he was being honest with himself, most of the time he would do both.

“Mulder I said I’m fine,” she snapped at him and she didn’t care that people heard.

She had honestly thought they were on a date. She was so frustrated and annoyed with him right now she could definitely shoot him again. She didn’t want to be near him or sit this close to him so she shuffled over a bit. He looked at her like he was going to say something but turned his attention toward the game. This was going to be a long night for both of them.

Scully started thinking about all the little things she hated about Mulder. Somehow it all came crashing when she was mad at him. The constant flirting with other people, her mind wandered to Phoebe Green, Detective White, Bambie, half of the secretary pool at the bureau. And last but not least, Diana Fowley. She had managed to forget about her, but now she was again ruining her night. He seemed to drop everything for her, it didn’t matter where he was, when it was or even what it was. She certainly didn’t trust Diana, she always seemed to have a hidden agenda, some ace up her sleeve. And what made matters worse is he was blind to it, so damn blind. What had happened to trust no one? Well, apparently that meant everyone except ex-girlfriends. Her anger now had gone from a small simmer to a full-blown boil. She'd had enough of his antics. She was done, she wanted this game to end, to go home. She knew this had been a risk. Why did she get her hopes up for someone who ran off and lefts her behind?

The game was soon over. She wasn’t paying attention to who won, she actually did not care. Scully was quick to walk out, leaving Mulder seated at the spot, talking to yet another woman. She didn’t care at all to hear the conversation. She decided to go to an ATM and get some money to call a taxi back home. If Mulder decided to catch up, she might say goodbye.  

45 minutes had passed and Mulder was still nowhere to be seen. She had been trying to get a taxi but this was also a difficult task. Great, the night was going swimmingly. There was hardly anyone left now, it was late, and dark, and she had no ride home. Then, suddenly, she saw his tall, dark and handsome figure walking towards her.

“Hey, Scully, where have you been?”

“I have been right here the whole time!” She snarled at him.  

“Well, I’m glad I finally found you.”

Yeah, I bet you are, she thought but stayed silent. Her anger was taking over. If he said anything now it would tip her over the edge and there would be no going back.

They both went through the main entrance and Scully followed him outside the arena to the car. It was dark, there was hardly any lighting and Mulder had parked so far away due to his paranoia.   

“Thank you for coming tonight I really enjoyed spending time with you”

“Yeah. Me all of the other women you spent time with,” Scully said that under her breath when they had finally reached the right side of the arena Scully stayed near a concrete pillar and watched Mulder walk in front of her.

“What was that?” Mulder turned around and looked at her. He was starting to get annoyed now, her attitude was honestly starting to piss him off.

“Nothing, carry on”

Things were getting tenser and the atmosphere was heating up and that was no good thing.

“As I was saying, thank you for coming. I enjoyed the night so much. It certainly beats the last time I came to a baseball game, Diana groaned and whined the whole time.” Mulder could swear Scully physically winced at the mentioning of Diana’s name.

He had to mention her, Scully’s anger was now magnified. Just one night without interference or her name being mentioned and he couldn’t even do that.

“That’s Fantastic. Now I want to go home.” She replied sharply and cold, but it was so much better than what she was thinking.

“Scully, what is your problem?” He stepped closer to her, to stop her turning away, to stop her running off. He wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to do but he knew it was not good.

“I’m Fine.” She tried to look away, she didn’t want to argue. She wanted to go home and forget about this whole experience.

“Scully, you’re anything but fine! Something’s bothering you, just tell me!” He was raising his voice now. He took a few more steps towards her and looked directly in her crystal lighting blue eyes and they only turned that colour when she was really angry.

“NO!” She was full-blown angry now, so angry at him she wanted to punch him, shoot him, slap him! He got her so worked up and didn’t even know when to let go.

“So typical of you not letting anyone in, all too scared to let other people see your emotions.” He was definitely shouting at her now but he was getting closer. And she was shouting right back at him, their eyes still locked.

“Typical of me, when you’re the one being typical. The typical man flirting with every woman with brunette hair, big bust and nice pair of legs” She was infuriated, the words were sliding out of her mouth. She couldn’t stop them, and neither did she want to.

He was even closer to her now, so close they were within kissing distance. They could feel the heat coming off each other’s bodies. Scully stepped back and found her back flat against the pillar, it was cold but refreshing. She was still looking in his hazel eyes full of anger and betrayal. At least she knew she had struck a nerve.

“Now I know how you got that Ice Queen nickname.”

If she wanted to strike a nerve, two could play at the game. He noted her stepping back so he stepped forward.

Things were so tense now one could cut the tension with a knife. The air had turned from cold and stale to hot and humid full of static electricity in a matter of minutes. She went to raise her hand, palm open and flat. She was so close to his face. But he caught her arm, their eyes were locked. He pressed his body against hers.

She had nowhere to go, his grip tightened around her arm. She tried to move and tried to wiggle out of his embrace but he had his height and a pilar surrounding her. In a sudden move, he lent down and their lips locked. She hadn’t realised how turned on he was and now she could feel his hardness against her jeans. His lips so hungry, lustful and greedy went for hers. So wet and plump, the kiss was hot and unforgiving. His hand loosened and he moved down her bicep, finding that bump after the dip of the inner elbow and pinned it, her side hard and rough against the concrete.  

She opened her mouth; his tongue invading hers, hot and heavy, sliding across her teeth, fighting with hers looking for dominance. His hands had moved from her arm and now were all over her, her inner thigh, her stomach, her hair. She was just as rough, her hands and fingers scratching like talons down his back.

She was getting impatient. Without even thinking about it, she grabbed his top and pulled it over his head spinning them around so now his skin was against the pillar. She threw it onto the floor beside them. Her mouth was greedy, kissing its way from his neck down his clavicle and onto his nipple, her hand moving down his abs, down his stomach, roughly feeling her hand against his chest hair. Soon her hand was moving down in between the material of his jeans and grabbing his dick through his cotton boxers. He was big, thick and hard for her. So ready for her she heard him moan as she squeezed firmly. She did this over and over, torching him, making him work for his pleasure.

When he looked like he was about to find that point of ecstasy she stopped removed her hand and worked back up his neck with lips and teeth. He looked at her eyes so full of mischief and desire. She looked up at his eyes slightly begging to be put out of his misery. She moved back down working her hand on his button and zip letting his jeans and boxers sliding down his legs and stopping at his ankles. She grabbed his cock, her hand moving slowly. An intricate science, his whole body imprisoned by her touch.

“I’m going to come” he whispered suddenly. She lowered on him, putting her lips to his tip and swallowed him fully, her tongue flowing from side to side, back and forth moving with her body. His fingers pulling back her hair like torn silk, he ejaculated full hard and strong, disappearing into her. He pulled her up and bending down, his lips clamped onto hers. The white sticky substance coating her lips, they passed it back and forth between them, till it no longer existed. Till they didn’t know who had it like a lost planet in some far away galaxy.

He was so hungry for her he ripped off her top like an animal wanting to be fed, undoing her shoes and jeans, tossing them aside, and there she stood nude in the lamplight except for the brief black cotton lace covering her most private parts. He flipped them around now her stomach bare and flat against the cold concrete. She wrapped her arms around the pillar as best she could. She could feel his breathing behind her, hot air down her back which was starting to sweat and slip on his stomach. He unclasped her bra and ripped her panties. She didn’t want him to see her face because it is blowing up inside, red and furious, she pushed her body back into him, his dick hard and full. He pushed past her opening hot ready and slick with her arousal.

He was slow, rhythmic at first, moving his hands down the front of her body, there was a sharp brief pain…. Brief,  and then a sweet spasm went through her, she felt like she was rising into the air. No more pain, no more anger just the sweetness and incredible power of realisation shattering through her. His lips kissing, biting, her neck. His sweat covered body moulding against her back. The sound of skin slapping against skin, the sound of two bodies entwining and melting into one. The earth could break and blow up around them but at this moment they were one and nothing and no one could stop them. His thrusts were fast now and heavy. She was so close again to ecstasy. She moved one hand down the centre of her legs violently thrashing her fingers back and forth. She could feel the slick of his cock gliding in and out of her. It sent shockwaves throughout her body. Spasming around him; one, two, three thrusts more and he was spasming too inside her, filling her up with his milky substance. He pulled out of her, both missing the loss and heat of the other.

She could feel his juices flow down her legs, sticky but sweet that kind of sex wasn’t about love or tenderness it was about scratching an all to well-known itch, settling scores and relieving tension. She got dressed as best she could and wrapped her jacket around her. She started walking to his car, silently, and he soon followed after getting dressed. Unlocking the car, they both got it, driving in silence to her apartment.

End Of Part One.      

Part Two

Scully entered her apartment, neither she nor Mulder had spoken a word on their way back. She didn’t want to think of tonight and not at least doing such an act in public. She wanted to enjoy the feel of him against her skin, she had wanted it for so long, they had waited for long enough. It was amazing, everything she had imagined it to be. So for tonight she would enjoy the moment and regret it in the morning.

Mulder dropped Scully off at her door and drove in silence to his apartment. He was in shock at what they had done, what she had done to him... What they had done together! He couldn’t think straight. He had wanted it to happen for such a long time, but never in a million years did he think their first time would be so violent, so angry and, oh god, so arousing.

He always got aroused when she was near but even more when she was angry at him or when they were in the midst of an argument. The number of times he had thought about bending her over his desk and making her scream so loud that the whole damn bureau could hear her... Up until tonight, it had been just pure fantasy of her returning the feelings he had. Things were definitely going to change whether it was for better or for worse. They could never go back to just being friends. He stripped his clothes off, throwing them to one side before flicking the TV on and finding some B rated film to fall asleep. There would be no nightmares tonight, just pure content and happiness filling his every thought.    

Mulder woke up at static playing on his TV. The sun was starting to peek in his window, the memories of last night’s flooded his memory. He was happy, happier than he had been in a long time. The pure realization of what had happened suddenly hit him. Would Scully regret it? That was a given. Would she deny it? Most likely. Would she even speak to him again? I hope so, but I doubt it.

His lust had taken over him. He was an unforgiving animal. What was that old saying? ‘Hell Has Three Gates: Lust, Anger and Greed’ and he had unequivocally fit the quota for that. He had displayed all three to Scully, but he couldn’t help it. She didn’t have a clue how wild she made him feel. He was a lovesick teenager around her, he tried pressing his feeling down deep inside, he tried really hard to stay professional at work even with the sudden erections on a daily basis when he was around her. He didn’t want to lose her as a friend but his indecent erotic mind took over. Now he thought about it he needed to know where he stood with her, they had to talk about it. He couldn’t stand the feeling off not knowing. That was it, he was going to shower, change, have coffee and then he was going to ring her.

Scully’s Apartment; Saturday morning

Scully woke up, the room was bright and well lit. She got up and padded to the bathroom.  Turning on the hot water she let it heat up before stepping in the shower. She stood facing her mirror, still quite groggy from not quite waking up fully.

She was sore in places she hadn’t been in a very long time. She looked into the mirror: her hair was unruly and half to one side, her makeup smeared and messy, her skin pale and covered in freckles. She unbuttoned her blue silk pyjamas and let the garment flow down her arms and onto the floor, she looked at her like she did every morning but this time it was different. She had small bruises but thought nothing of it: she must have slept weirdly. She stepped into the bathtub, facing the shower head, letting the burning water hit her face. It felt like little stings washing everything away, making her feel alive again. With her eye closed, she ran her fingers through her hair and she let her mind wander to past events.

That’s when flashes of memory came crashing to her, the reality of what had happened hit her like a ton of bricks. His fingers on her hips, his skin pressed against her back, his lips kissing her neck, how he filled her to the brim. His thrusts uneven and wonderful, his breath so close to her ear, whispering and moaning her name.

Just thinking about it sent waves of desire to her core, she was so turned on thinking about his body and thinking about him. Imagination had become reality. She thrived in it, relishing in the memories. Her index finger slid to her breast, a memory of his hands playing with them, rolling his fingers around her nipple. Then, slowly, she travelled the path from his ghost on her skin, she moved down her stomach the apex of her legs. Finding her clit but not touching it, first moving finger slipping around her vulva placing light feather touches there before finding her clit again and moving in quick suction fast and hard remembering the sweet release he had given her. She was soon spasming, her whole body quaking with the force of her climax.

When Scully finally came back to reality several things hit her at that blissful moment after her orgasm:

She had finally had sex with Mulder. She smiled at that

She really needed to talk to him because, yes, their first time had not been as she had imagined it. She did not exactly regret the act itself, just the placement of said act.

Did he regret the sex? Did he like it? Did he want more? Or had it been just pure and selfless lust and male ego? 

She knew they could never go back to what they were before, but could they move past it and create something beautiful?  Or would they both be left standing alone in the dark? 

She turned off the shower after washing her hair and body. She had just wrapped a towel around her hair and put on her pale yellow fluffy bathrobe when she heard a knock at the door. The “Scully, it’s me,” let her know it was Mulder on the other side. Even before he spoke, she could feel his presence, the connection still not broken. She could always feel when he was close. They could be lost but she could always find him. She didn’t understand how or why but she would forever follow those instincts. She walked through various rooms to open the door for him.

He stood there in awe of the woman in front of him, her face free from makeup. All those little freckles she liked to hide visible for the world to see, including that little mole just above her lip which he loved. Her eyes pure crystal sparkling blue staring up at him. Her yellow bathrobe clinging to her body. Her hair bundled up in a towel with small flickers of crimson red peeking underneath.

Mulder walked through to the living room just like he had done the night before. Things were different now, he could sense it, they both had crossed the line they had been dancing around for years. Even with the tense and awkward atmosphere he still found himself very turned on knowing she was wearing nothing under her bathrobe.

When she walked past him, he could smell her strawberry and kiwi shampoo. He could smell her honey body wash. His senses were igniting, his impulses flaring. If this was what just her smell could do to him, he had no idea how he was going to sit close to her and actually tell her how about his feelings. How was he going to ask her how she felt about him?

“There should be some coffee left, I just need to go get dressed” Mulder looked at her like she was speaking another language but he nodded in response.

Scully walked to her bedroom taking one quick glance back at her partner before shutting her bedroom door to getting dressed. She put her back against the door and leant into it. The feeling of last night rushing back to her. His smell washed over her, and the intense feeling of desire was starting to build deep within her soul. Her senses were on full alert and tingling, the pressure building, and her breathing was rapid and uneven. She needed to calm down. How could she when all she wanted was to feel him, touch him, be under him... Be damn the consequences! She honestly did not know how to act or talk to him, but she needed to know how he felt about her.

It took her 10 minutes to be dressed, she chose some jeans and a rounded neck t-shirt. Walking through her living room, she found Mulder sitting at her kitchen table with a black coffee on his hand, staring into space. Scully could see his face was blank but could also see those little cogs ticking in his brain, so deeply in thought, he didn’t notice her entering the room. What she did realize was he had put a fresh pot of coffee on for her. She smiled pouring herself a cup and sitting on a chair next to him.

“Mulder.” She placed her hand on top of his to get his attention and got a physical electric shock from his skin. She pulled away quickly and he looked at her, literally feeling the static between them.

“We need to talk.” He looked scared and really anxious. Then he looked her in the eyes, she squeezed his hand and their eyes locked: her deep blue and his emerald green. “I’m sorry about last night,” he added. The guilt was written so deep in his pale face, she could see full remorse.

“I’m not.”  Mulder was physically shocked by Scully’s statement. Could this be true? Or is my mind playing tricks on me?  “I enjoyed it,” Scully went shy and sheepish, her cheeks as red as a lobster but still holding his hand.

Where is she going with this?  He said nothing but looked at her blankly, listening to her every word.

“I don’t know what to make of last night, but I wouldn’t mind trying again,” she trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. Her heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. Her palms were clammy. She wanted this so badly but couldn’t tell him how much.  

Ever the prolific, he thought. She spoke clearly like she was discussing some case with him back at the office. How would I say yes without it sounding too forward? How can I say that I have spent every waking moment for the past seven years thinking about her? About kissing her, loving her, being beside her when I wake up from a nightmare. How I want to feel the silk of her skin against mine, to have her smell be the first thing I sense every morning. The smile on her face, the first thing I want to see when I wake up. He was lost for words, staring at her, his mouth open slightly.

His mouth is open and he’s not speaking, he’s staring at me like I am an alien. I knew I should not have done this. He doesn't want me, he just sees us as friends. What was I thinking?  The room was silent as she was waiting for a reply. She unconsciously licked her lips, a small habit she had picked up in her teenage years.    

The way she licks her lips, her little tongue sweeping across those beautiful lips... She wants to take it further. I want to take it further. So, what’s stopping us?

Mulder suddenly leant over, placing his lips softly over hers. He couldn’t say the actual word, so he showed her with one simple kiss and it spoke a thousand words. It was full of love, adoration, trust of body and soul. He wanted to show her how much she meant to him in life and in the universe.

Scully opened her mouth and let his tongue slide against hers, stroking, caressing. The taste of her is part hunger, that he welcomes, but the other part, the torment... He gives her one last look to make sure he is doing the right thing. Her eyes say yes and he deepens the kiss. With a swift motion, he lifts her from her chair and brings her to his lap, his hand pressing beneath her top, finding warm, soft skin. His fingers splay over her rib cage, she flinches but soon relaxes to his touch. His lips latch to hers again, his tongue stroking, taking, demanding, and she rewards him by giving him no fear, but rather a soft moan, and a whisper of “Mulder” when he nips her lip. He reaches down and pulls her top over her head, tossing it away. And she is not shy, timid or scared now. She tugs his shirt up and throws it away with hers. Unhooking her black lace bra, he drags it down her arms, his gaze raking over her high full breasts and pebbled pink nipples. In a minute their gazes collide, her eyes turned to deep blue so full of lust and hunger. His eyes are all deepest amber. His hand flattening over her back finding the tattoo. Her naked breast against his bare skin feels so good, smooth and silky against his rough and ready.

She placed small kisses along his clavicle: biting, nipping, suckling. She could feel him squirm underneath her and felt his desire for her rising up. Instinctively, she ground against his lap, eliciting him to moan her name which only enhanced her thrill and her excitement. She looked up at him and with a mischievous smile, she raked her nails down his chest, watching his muscles twitch under her touches. She went to do it again but he shook his head. Standing up, she wrapped her legs around his waist, he walked her over to her sofa placing her underneath him slowly grinding his pelvis into hers. She moaned and her breath hitched when his mouth found the crook of her neck, working his lips down her torso and towards her breasts. He took a nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue over and round it. He gently bit her nipple and her back arched in pleasure. He stopped sucking, working his way to her other breast. His hand snaked to the button of her jeans popping it open and then sliding them down her legs.

He stopped for a second to look at her, her skin is so beautiful and pale, her smell sweet but addictive. Her breasts so full, so perfect. Her stomach flat but muscled, and her little belly ring hanging from her belly button. Her legs short but could definitely put you on your ass if she kicked you. And there she lay in the shimmering sunlight coming from the curtains almost naked, just wearing those little lace material she called panties. He smiled at her before hooking his fingers underneath the hem and gliding them down her legs. Kissing his way up the inside of her thighs, he finally found her Labia. He licked his way around her clit but not yet touching it. He lapped her up like a baby cat tasting milk for the first time. She tasted sweet like honey and smells divine, he was easily addicted to both. She was humming now like a little hummingbird in the wild. He finally placed his tongue against her clit, flicking and twirling. She was quivering, so so close to her climax. He found her opening and let his finger and tongue do the magic. It didn’t take long for her to start screaming his name loud and hard. He was so gentle with her, making it last, making sure she knew how much he needed her, and how he had longed for this moment.

He watched her come back down to Earth, her face full of bliss, a smile that could light up the world, her eyes were but fluttering. Her chest rising and falling in rapid succession. Her legs were twitching along with her stomach. But when she opened her blue eyes, they were like orbs pulling him in to see the far reaches of her soul. She looked so happy.

Mulder stood up quickly, getting rid of the extra clothes he had on. He was full and swollen thick and hot clear liquid had sprung at his tip. She took a look, admiring his beauty, and she licked her lips with anticipation for what was about to happen.

He moved and laid himself on top of her, placing himself in between her legs. He guided himself into her wet folds and she hugged like a bear. He fit inside her good, filling her up. She felt full and complete there. They were very like yin and yang, soulmates through time. He looked at her and she looked straight back: nothing could separate them.

No words were spoken, they didn't need to be. He started rocking his hips back and forth slowly, lovingly, softly; the love showing and exploding, lighting the room. They soon found their rhythm, both savouring the moment; they really didn't want it to end. They went a little faster and a little harder. His head rested in the crook of her neck, his breath creating moisture mixing with her dripping wet skin. Her nails clinging, dragging against his back. The air smelt of sex the sound of skin against skin in time and entwined with the hearts. She soon hit her peak again, the height of euphoria, that moment of ecstasy. Whispers and moans of his name sent him into that moment right along with her. They stayed there for what seemed like a lifetime. He didn't want to crush her but she didn't mind. He rolled to the side and she placed her head on his chest, his heart like a lullaby lulling her to sleep. Before she closed her eyes for good she needed to whisper.

“I love you.”

“I know, I love you too.”

With the words said, her eyes closed and she slept. He buried his nose into her hair and let her warmth Passover him, the room filled with her steady breathing and soon he joined her in her sleep.

The end  

[verai-marcel]

One and Only (Ch 2 of 4, RDR2 Fic, 18+ ONLY)

Chapter 2 of 4.

Chapter 1 is here. Tags & summary are there too.

Also find it on AO3.

Chapter 2: Ever Closer

Over the following weeks, as you grew accustomed to being with the gang and getting to know everyone, Arthur would keep checking in with you, making sure you were okay. He seemed to know when you needed time alone and would take you on a fishing trip at least once every few days. He would fish quietly with you, let you lead any conversations, or just let you think.

You tried to be sociable with everyone, but it wasn’t in your nature. Talking with others was just so tiring sometimes, and you never had much to say beyond the usual pleasantries. You had quickly found ways to recover; washing clothes, offering to get water from the river, any job that would take you away from the camp. You liked the women; Karen and Mary-Beth were nice but almost too chatty for you. Tilly was sweet and she didn’t talk your ear off, which was a plus. Abigail was always busy with Jack, and the air around Sadie was always so sad that you found it hard to approach her. Miss Grimshaw was strict, but she had a soft spot for you, who worked hard and didn’t mouth off like the others.

As for the men, well, in the beginning they talked to you a lot. But as the days went by, they all started to let you alone for the most part, once they realized you didn’t talk much. You didn’t flirt, you didn’t offer any information about yourself beyond simple answers, and you soon realized that if any of them tried to get closer than an arm’s span to you, Arthur would appear out of nowhere and tell them to get to work. Lately though, he just glared at them until they backed off.

During the first week, Arthur took you out for shooting practice, to see your skills. After realizing that you knew little more than the basics, he insisted on taking you out for practice every time he had a free hour. You enjoyed the time with him more than you cared to admit.

***

One night, after being with the gang for two weeks, Arthur came to you with a rifle and a grin.

“You got some energy? We’re gonna practice your night shooting.”

You had just finished helping Pearson clean the stew pot, so you nodded. “Sure, where are we going?”

He took you out into the Heartlands, where you could see the river of stars and the moon shining brightly on the landscape. Setting up a few bottles, he handed you a slightly used rifle.

“Got this for you. So you can go hunting with me some time.”

“Thank you. I'll not ask where you got this from,” you joked.

“They won't need it anyway,” he said with a short laugh.

As you raised the rifle to shoot, you felt Arthur step behind you; feeling the heat from his body against your back, you swallowed as he gently placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Stand up straight,” he said in low voice. “Angle your arm like this.” One hand moved down your shoulder to your elbow, his fingers tracing down your arm as he moved you into the correct position.

His other hand slid down from your shoulder to your back, his fingers splayed out against you. “Breathe in and aim, breathe out and shoot.”

You did as he said, and you could hear the bullet hit the rock below the bottle.

“Close. Aim a little higher.” He leaned in so his face was close to yours so he could get a better view of where you were aiming. You raised the barrel a bit more, took a deep breath, and fired again. And again. And again.

Ten times later, you heard the clink of broken glass.

“I got one!” you said excitedly.

Arthur chuckled and stepped back from you. “Good girl. Now just five more.”

You stared out into the darkness to see the other five bottles, and they were smaller than the one you had managed to hit. You sighed and kept practicing.

***

Took her out shooting last night. Her form needed help, so I told myself. Truth was I just wanted to be with her, and used any excuse to do so.

I couldn't stop touching her at first. But she didn't pull away, so I had to. I need to control myself, before I become unable to stop. Susan would kill me if she knew. Weren't proper.

***

One day during the third week, you sat under the shade of a tree, drawing a deer drinking at the river. You were so focused on your drawing, that you had not noticed anyone around you until you heard a voice over your shoulder, almost in your ear.

“Nice drawing.”

You yelped, and the deer immediately bounded away. You sighed and turned to Arthur. “Dammit, I was almost done.”

He looked at your drawing. After a few moments, you started to get self-conscious and moved to close your journal. But as you tried, his hands enclosed around yours and kept your page open so he could examine your deer sketch. You could feel his breath on your neck, and his arms around you felt warm and inviting. You leaned back against him a little bit, testing the waters. He didn’t move away. If anything, you thought he may have moved a bit closer to you.

Arthur finally hummed approvingly. “I think your drawing is done. Looks good.”

You smiled and turned your head slightly to look at him, but he was much closer than you thought. Accidentally bumping his head, you whispered an apology.

He nuzzled your cheek and whispered, “S’okay.” He stayed where he was for one breath-taking moment.

And then he let go and stepped away from you.

“You coming back to camp soon? I was thinking we might go get you a horse.”

Your disappointment at not having his warmth near you anymore was quickly replaced by the excitement of getting a horse. “Really? Where?”

“There’s a small herd of wild horses up north of Valentine. Was comin’ back from a job, saw them there.”

You grinned like an idiot. You couldn’t wait. “When do we go?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“I’ll go pack!” You barely finished your reply before you raced back to camp to pack up your bag.

***

Her smile was like a sunrise, when I told her about getting her a horse. I’m glad I didn’t act upon my baser urges when she was in my arms. But it was a damn close thing. She smelled fresh, like wildflowers and honey, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. But I shouldn’t. She’s too pure for the likes of me.

***

You and Arthur rode on his horse, Rhea, through the plains and up along a ridge, the two hour trip not feeling that long with the companionable silence the two of you shared.

When you caught sight of the horses, you pointed them out to Arthur. He steered Rhea towards the herd, and together, the two of you managed to capture a beautiful blue roan. You named him Starshine, for the bright white star on his forehead, and the fact that by the time you had finally tamed him, the stars were shining in the night sky.

“It’s a bit too late to head back to camp,” Arthur said, looking up at the sky. “Maybe we should camp out here.”

“But it was only two hours.”

“We’ve wandered pretty far from where we first started.”

You looked around and realized that indeed, you were so far north from Cattail Pond that you couldn’t see it anymore. “Oh.”

Arthur was already trotting away on Rhea, looking for a good camping spot. You followed on Starshine, petting him and murmuring in his ear how pretty he was, what a good boy he was, and you were sure Starshine was practically preening by the time you caught up to Arthur. He had found a spot that was perfectly surrounded by trees, but with enough clear, flat ground to set up a tent and a campfire. He pointed out the river that was close by too, in case you wanted to bathe in the morning.

“Uh, not that I’m saying you’re dirty or nothin’, just, if you wanted to.” Arthur quickly added.

You laughed. He could be so awkward sometimes, and you found that endearing. Over the past few weeks, you had noted that he was a little bashful around you compared to the other women. Maybe it was because you were new, and the other women had been around him for years. Maybe he’d be more open with you later, once he had gotten to know you better.

That thought made you pause. You were subconsciously already planning on staying long term. You hadn’t stayed anywhere for longer than a month. And you were already thinking about staying for a year, maybe more. As you watched Arthur stoke the campfire, you wondered about your evolving plans. One thing was for certain: a blue-eyed cowboy was at the center of them.

He rolled out two bedrolls, one inside the tent, and one outside of it. He gestured at the tent. “You can stay in there, I’ll stay out here.”

“You sure? It’s your tent. And it ain’t that cold, I could sleep outside.”

“My lady deserves the best I can offer,” he said.

You blushed, and hoped the darkness kept him from seeing it. “Sure, thank you.”

***

I called her ‘my lady’ out of habit. I hadn't meant to say it, she isn’t used to the way I speak like the other women in camp. But seeing her blush was worth it.

***

Four weeks after you had joined the gang, you were trusted enough to wander off for a day or two at a time, taking your horse to travel around and work delivery jobs or pickpocketing in the city. And if Arthur caught you before you headed out to the city, he always made sure your gun was in proper order, and told you that if you didn't come back by the following morning, he'd come find you.

You were well aware of the work that the others did, but Arthur kept you off those jobs. So one day, when he came to you, you expected another fishing or hunting trip. Instead, he asked if you wanted to come rob a homestead that night with him.

“You’ve got good instincts, figure you could help me find the stash quicker.”

You agreed, and later that night, after a few harrowing close calls, the two of you managed to get in and get out of the house with little incident, finding a decent stash. With your earnings, you decided to go to town the next day and get yourself a new dress, since your one dress was beginning to look very ragged, despite all your best attempts to sew all the tears. And you knew that as much as you liked your blouse and breeches, it wasn’t quite common enough that you wouldn't draw undue amounts of attention.

So the next afternoon, after you had finished all your chores, you got your old dress on and went to your horse.

“Where you goin’?”

You turned to see Arthur with his hands on his gun belt.

“Just to Valentine, get a new dress that doesn't look like rags.”

“I'll go with you,” he said immediately, walking towards Rhea.

“You don't have to,” you started to say, but he gave you that stubborn look that you had to come to call the ‘it's happening’ scowl. Sighing, you climbed up on Starshine and started towards Valentine, with Arthur following close behind.

In town, you hitched your horse and walked towards the general store.

“I’ll be in the gunsmith. Wait for me in front of the general store?”

“Sure,” you said, and headed in. You decided on a blouse and skirt instead of a full dress; it gave you more options, and you liked the idea of this light blue blouse with your dark brown breeches. As you shopped, you noticed one of the men in the shop looking over at you. You ducked your head, paid for your items and left the store.

“Miss?”

You turned to look at the man. He looked like he was about your age. “Yes?”

“I haven’t seen you around here before. I’d remember such a pretty face.”

“Just came to town,” you easily lied.

“Oh? Well, if you ever need anything, you can ask me. I’m Rupert, by the way.”

“Anna,” you said, giving him your fake name that you used when you had to give one.

“I work here at the store, so if you ever need anything delivered, I can help you with that too.”

“Oh.” Then you thought of something. “Does the shop ever need additional errand runners? I’m looking for some light work that I could do to help the family.”

Rupert smiled. “Why yes, sometimes we do.” He stepped a bit closer to you. “I’d be happy to have you help me with the deliveries that are farther away, that’d make the time pass faster.”

You nodded and smiled back. “Sounds good, I’ll come by some time once I’m settled in.”

He took another half step closer, and you felt a bit uncomfortable with how close he was getting. You took a step back.

Noting your shyness, he also leaned back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to crowd you. Would you like to join me for a drink? Just to get to know each other. As friends.”

You looked at him. He had a cute dimple when he smiled, bright brown eyes, and an sweet smile. He seemed like he’d be a good friend.

“There you are.”

You turned to see Arthur walking up towards you. His eyes went from yours to rest on Rupert.

“Who’s this?” he said, his voice deepening as he stopped next to you. His arm snaked around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him.

“Rupert, sir,” he said, standing up a little straighter. Then he looked at you. “Older brother?”

You laughed, unable to contain yourself. “No, family friend,” you lied. “Almost like an older brother.”

Rupert smiled, looking a little relieved, until Arthur glared at him. “Well, nice to meet you, sir.” He turned back to you. “Hope to see you around, Anna.” He quickly stepped back into the store.

Arthur pulled you away from the store, perhaps a bit rougher than normal. Without being asked, he helped you up on your horse, and then climbed up on his. The two of you rode out of town in silence, and for once, the quiet was uncomfortable.

“Arthur?”

He stopped. You pulled up next to him and looked at him, even though he was trying to hide his expression under his hat.

“What’s on your mind?”

After a long sigh, Arthur looked up at you. “Do you know what he was doing?”

“Who, Rupert?”

“Yeah.”

“Talking to me?”

Arthur sighed again. “He was trying to sleep with you.”

You blinked. That couldn’t be. He seemed so friendly, and you didn’t have a bad feeling about him. You knew sleaze bags, and he didn’t seem like one.

“Well, maybe not right away,” he continued. “But that was definitely his goal.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m a man, and I saw how he was lookin’ at you.”

“How am I supposed to know that?”

“It ain’t obvious?” His voice went up an octave, his tone incredulous.

“I…” You took a deep breath. “I lived alone for so long, and I don’t have any experience speaking with men outside of my family. So no, I don’t think it’s obvious.”

Arthur looked down, chastised. “Oh. Well. Just don’t talk to strange men, then.”

“It’s not like I go out looking to do that. Sometimes it just happens. Like today.” Then you suddenly had an idea. And you trusted Arthur.

“You could teach me.”

“What?” His voice went up even higher than before.

“Teach me about men, so I know what to look for when one of them talks to me looking for something more.”

He sputtered.

“Or I can learn on my own,” you said.

“No, no, no. I’ll teach you,” he said begrudgingly. “I don’t want you askin’ anyone else. And this is just between us. Don’t tell no one else about this.”

“Yes, sir,” you said jokingly.

He gave you the most inscrutable look after you said that, and your laughter died away before it could leave your mouth. Instead, you felt like your insides had caught on fire at his intense gaze. Arthur finally turned and cantered away, and you urged Starshine to follow. The silence between you now was not uncomfortable, but it was tense. Like you had just asked a wolf to come to supper.

***

She asked me to teach her about men. And I agreed, like an idiot. But the thought of any other man with her, it boils my blood.

And when she said “Yes Sir” to me? Felt like I was going to lose it then and there. Couldn't think straight, I just stared at her with all these improper thoughts in my head.

What the hell am I going to do?

[divagonzo]

Beloved  (Ch. 1 Bishop’s Castle)

A/N: So this story (because to do this justice needed to be longer than one chapter) was inspired by this particular post and while RL got in the way a bit and the story fought me some, Ch.1 is ready for posting.

Rated M/18/NC-17 for later chapters but also some triggering aspects starting in chapter one. Trigger warning tags will be applied at the bottom of this post.

(And I’m going to make the Tumblr version Ace safe but have its full version on Ao3.)

Tagging @remedial-potions , @weasleymama @kingronw @vivithefolle @austenpoppy @melimelrockswell1204 @ashleopardd since people asked to be tagged when this first went around. (Sorry @justsaya for the extra tag.)

Ch. 1 - Bishop’s Castle

A03 // FF.net

“Damn it Harry! why the bloody hell are we always picked for shit duty?”

Harry looked up from his stack of parchment, quirking an eye at his best mate across the desks. “What are you on about?” He returned to his own stack of parchment, scribbling away and only offering 1 ear to his best mate sitting across from him in the department.

“See this?” He held up a five-foot long piece of parchment. “That bugger Robards is sending us out tonight to corral a loose Werewolf. And I was actually hoping to get caught up on the mound of paperwork but this cropped up.”

“Werewolf?” Harry reached for the parchment and Ron reluctantly gave over. “Yeah, some poor sod in the Midlands. So I was told, the family has a safe room and everything was on the up and up and somehow the person escaped while turned and are running loose on the moors.”

Harry looked up from the parchment and gave Ron a particular look. “Trowbridge?” Harry scanned the parchment again and stopped cold. “That troll? Fuck.”

“Now you see why I’m beastly. That sod can’t do shit. He failed his apprenticeship 3 times before being told not to apply again.”

“You mean he’s the same one – “

“The same one. There’s a reason why Bailiffs rarely make Auror – because of the Trowbridge rule.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. He’s on loan for the month since the other team is out on assignment, with no headquarters communications, wherever the fuck they are.” Ron ran his hands through his hair, leaving it looking a little like Harry’s this evening. “I don’t like this, not one bit. Why couldn’t we get someone who knows which end of the wand to use?”

“Me neither. Bugger.” Harry handed back the five feet of parchment. “I guess we’ll have to plan on this being a three-person operation since he’s incompetent.”

“Wainwright! Trowbridge! Potter! Weasley! Ten Minutes!” the guttural bark of their Senior Auror Hemera Jones erupted from the Director’s office. “Debriefing now.”

Ron and Harry both grunted before collecting their wands and cloaks for her office. As one of the Senior Aurors, she had an office, for what little she was in it. The four men crowded into the wardrobe-sized room, refusing to take a seat. Fighting over the lone seat in the small space would be pointless for how long they’d be in there. “I’ll make it brief. A werewolf is loose on the western side of the Shropshire Hills. The person in question, Maggie Grey, normally, so I’m told, is content to sleep off her debilitating condition after receiving a Wolfsbane Potion. Tonight, it didn’t work somehow and she tore through the wood door and off into the night. Our task, gentlemen, is to apprehend her safely and return her to a magically sealed cell until she recovers. She is to not be harmed, gentlemen, at all costs.”

“All costs? The hell?” Ron piped up.

“Shut your gob, Weasley. She’s a Greyback victim during the Coup. She was targeted since her husband is a Muggle and she’d spoken out against the regime. Yaxley sent Greyback to handle it and he bungled it intentionally or otherwise.” She gave all of the men a pointed look. No one would bother admitting that they were all glad that the bastard was dead, thanks to Ron and Neville.

“The Director said that her husband is a Muggle and a Muggle Healer at the local hospital. We can’t let her be hurt because it’d be a fuck ton of paperwork to do and I for one don’t want to spend a week dealing with Muggles and having their memories obliviated. Anyone here want to do that?” Four voices grunted in agreement. “Yeah, me neither so stunners only. We’re here to apprehend, not arrest. There’s a big difference, especially with the change in Ministry protocols.”

“So where are we going?”

“We’re taking a portkey to a little place called Bishop’s Castle. It’s on the edge of Wales but we’re landing about a mile northeast of there. It’s the only landing location for ten square miles. Once there, disillusion yourselves and track her down. I want this handled with as little fuss as possible. We can’t scare the Muggles or even the magical folk who live there. No one wants to know that a person with their affliction lives in their tiny hamlet.”

“And if there’s a muggle in her sights?” Harry asked. “Do we stun them both and go from there or what? What if she’s already hurt someone? What then?”

Hemera huffed. “I’d prefer the Muggle not be hurt but use your best judgment. Dismissed.”

The four men collected their overcoats and checked their limited amount of gear. One by one they left her office and made their way to the Portkey room. Director Robards, in one of his first acts as Director of the Aurors, was to designate a spare conference room into a portkey room. On the hour and half hour, arrivals would come into the department – only on Auror authority – and on the quarters, departures would happen. He mentioned in one of the first meetings that Harry sat in on that they needed somewhere secure to come and go without going through the Ministry lifts or entrances and exits. Too many nattering employees giving away Auror departures became a problem after the Purge.

“I don’t like this,” Ron muttered. “Bloody werewolf capture. And we get picked.”

“Stuff it, Ron. It’s our job. Anyone else would try to harm the poor sod. She can’t help her condition.”

“Like Remus and his furry little problem, right?”

“Something like that,” Harry whispered. “It would be nice once the better potion is approved for wider use. I hate that Remus never saw it or got to use it.”

“Yeah, me too.”

They traveled down the back way, coming to the room with a minute to spare. The others, including Auror Jones, were present and accounted for. Their portkey for this trip was a manky rucksack, with the buckles rusted and the leather fraying from the seams. Harry knew better though, that it was magically secure so it wouldn’t fall apart. He could feel the magic sending waves off. It had to be powerful for him to feel it this distinctly.

“Potter, you’re on point. Weasley, take East. Wainwright, south. Trowbridge, North. Potter will snoop around the township and I’ll apparate to the Belfry of the Church on the South side of the hamlet.”

“What do we do if we come across our target?” Trowbridge seemed a little slow on the uptake tonight. “You said stunners only but what if she turns on us? You expect us to take a bite on a full bloody moon.”

Hemera Jones pulled a face. “You git. You know plenty of second-year spells to prevent her from laying a paw on you or anyone else. Use them. Don’t hurt her unless it’s a last resort. Sorted?”

He grunted. Everyone put their hand on the rucksack as it turned blue and they departed for a small village far and away from London.

Minutes later, the five people landed softly in a field outside of the small town. Once on their feet and verifying everything arrived with each one, they disillusioned themselves to Auror Jones satisfaction. She apparated away, disappearing to the belfry of the tallest point on the town – the church on the south side. If anything went sideways they were to send up red sparks. Most of the muggles would think it was some random fireworks.

Each man took off, intending to search the town first before spreading outward. It was drawn up simply, and the most efficient, to cover the most area without disturbing the town inhabitants. Hopefully, the late hour would have most of the village residents asleep in their beds.

Ron grumbled under his breath, especially considering that he saw his breath with every exhale. Crass words stumbled out, especially considering the actual mortal peril they were in. The late night chill bit his nose and ears, leaving them as red as he would be mortified. His poor Mum would probably have a litter of kittens if she knew the circumstances. Fortunately, it was almost close to midnight and Mum wasn’t the one who stayed up late.

Ron turned a corner, past a small lot of autos, parked for the night with grotesque yellow signs showing how much they were for sale in Muggle currency. He kept walking, with a purpose but not so fast he’d miss anything out of the ordinary. Ron pulled the Deluminator from his pocket and pocketed all of the security lights on the back parking lot of whatever business he was walking around. It was a huge risk, going around looking in the dark but having the balls of light available would give him an advantage if he was caught out.

Mounds of wood were stacked meters high, even taller than himself. The rows of processed wood went on for meters upon meters, even higher than his head. “Oh this isn’t going to be good,” he thought to himself. “Bloody fuck, a werewolf and a blasted lumber yard; just what I need tonight.”

Ron kept is wand out in front of him, constantly thinking of a shield charm first if the poor bugger tried to attack him. Ron stepped gingerly between the stacks of processed wood, listening for any noise, ordinary or otherwise. He continued onward, walking up and down the rows, his wand lit to flush out any shadows that might conceal a frightened werewolf.

He stopped and listened, straining his ears. There, off on another row, he heard some wood crash to the asphalt under foo[TJW2] t, along with a high pitched whimper. Since it wasn’t Hermione and it was pushing half eleven, this was either a thief or his target.

He took off towards where he heard the crashing wood. He could have apparated but didn’t want to risk scaring the werewolf or accidentally landing on a petty thief. With steps trained in stealth, he tread softly towards where the noise was. Sure enough, a pallet of wood had fallen. Instead of lighting his wand, Ron popped the Deluminator and released the lights he nicked from around the corner. The balls of light escaped and hung in the air, lighting up the preternaturally darkened space.

He heard a whine a second before he was knocked to the ground. He lifted his head and saw the werewolf racing down the pathway towards the end of the building. The blighter looked no bigger than an over-sized bun.

“Shit,” He jumped up and took off running after the scared bugger.

She turned the corner and he tried to pour on the speed while wishing he had brought his broom to chase the quarry easier. Somehow she was leaving him in the dust and he was the fastest Auror on staff. All of those empty hours running with Harry paid off, even if he might lose sight of his intended.

Ron pulled his wand and cast red sparks up in the night sky. Within moments he heard the sounds of displaced air whooshing into his vicinity.

The balls of light followed him, casting an eerie glow in the area. The werewolf was right on the front edge of the lights, barely bathed in any illumination. He saw Wainright apparate 20m down the drive, near where he came up into the lumber yard and Harry was 50 meters up the street from his momentary position, running hard towards where he was.

Ron kept running, hoping to corner the furry Ms. Grey where he could stun her and safely transport her back to her safe confines for the night. Then again, he hoped someone else apprehended her. He didn’t fancy spending hours working on paperwork and multiple debriefings, especially if she was injured.

Ron saw movement to his right and felt magic flowing past his head.

Bright light blinded him an instant before he felt the blast.

His world blinked out.

Harry was there first. Wainright was immediately at his left shoulder.

“The fuck you playing at, Bronwyn? You hit Ron? Are you mental, a lunatic?”

Harry stared at the other member of their search party, murder in his eyes and on his mind. Vivid Green eyes were full of fury, all focused on the one who didn’t know which way to work his wand. He stared until Trowbridge blinked and he set his focus on his best mate lying in the grass at his feet. Harry yanked the ruck off of his back and reached deep, trying to find the dittany and pads. His hands grew slick trying to staunch the bleeding from his best friend’s head. The preternatural glow from the confiscated lights from the lumber yard bathed everything in an eerie blueish white hue. The dim lights next to whatever building they were lying next only added to the fact that Ron looked close to death already. Blood was seeping through Harry’s fingers, coating his boots, soaking the knees of his trousers and the ends of his jumper sleeve. He finally grasped the enormous stash of pads and shoved them onto the wound, watching the pad soak through. Merlin, not again. He’d lived through this once already. “Stay with me,” He growled before turning to Wainwright, working feverishly to protect their location from any curious eyes this late at night.

“Call Jones now,” Harry yelled at Bronwyn. He didn’t stir from watching Harry work on Ron’s injury.

“Damn it, call Jones now!” He yelled and Wainwright sent up red sparks, three sets in a row – the Auror emergency notification. In seconds she landed softly on the grass three meters away. “Report!” she barked at the three men.

Trowbridge spoke up first. Harry was too busy trying to grasp the dittany. Every time, it slipped from his fingers. “Weasley was chasing Ms. Grey. I saw him running after her. I thought – “

Wainright cut him off. “Trowbridge cast a powerful stunner and missed. He’s lucky that he didn’t take Weasley’s head off with that bit of careless magic. Instead, he hit the side of the building.” Wainwright illuminated his wand and showed an enormous chunk of masonry had been blown off of the side of the stone building. “The stone, it hit Weasley before knocking him backward like a bloody bomb blast. It’s sheer luck that he didn’t land on the stone wall and break his bloody neck.” Not two meters behind them was a one meter stone wall, topped with various river stones, mostly with rough edges.

“It was a stunner, just like Jones told us to use. He moved in front of it.”

“Yeah, and your wand movements were Bombada,” Wainwright countered.

“Damn it, I can’t get the bleeding to stop,” He complained as he threw over his shoulder the first handful of pads and thrust a second set on them. He patently ignored his sodden trousers, socks, boots, and jumper sleeves. He shifted his knees, trying to keep Ron’s head propped up just enough where he could keep the compress on his head. He didn’t dare use magic, not when he didn’t know the extent of the injuries. One bad spell to quell the bleeding could leave him in the Janus Thickey ward for the rest of his life.

Harry refused to do that to his best friend.

“I can’t get the dittany. He needs a healer now.” He felt one tear escape. “I’m not a healer. I can’t save him.” He said under his breath. “Damn it, Ron. Stay with us.”

“Potter, get him out of here.” Jones shoved something into his hands – a copy of the Auror field manual on arrest procedures. The book was already iridescent blue – a portkey for the Auror emergency landing ward at St. Mungo’s in London. Harry lifted Ron into his arms, looking like a horrific impersonation of Pieta by Michelangelo. He folded Ron’s across the book and across his body, looking so pale in the preternatural lights.

Blood dripped down from the wound onto his trousers, watching each moment seep by like cold custard. The gauze wouldn’t staunch the bleeding. They needed a healer now.

Harry fought the immediate memories of the last time he saw Ron like this, severely injured and on the edge of death. He couldn’t face that again. Instead, he looked across to the remaining Aurors present.

“When we return to London, you’re facing an Inquiry. If I have any say, you will be booted from MLS. And,” Harry saw the book glowing brighter, “if he dies, I will personally strangle you with my own two hands. The fuck – “

Harry didn’t hear the rest of the Jones’ vicious yet soft-spoken harangue. He was holding onto Ron for dear life, awaiting the landing at St. Mungo’s. He had seconds to prepare his knees for the landing. He’d need a strong pain potion after the landing.

Ron was dead weight in his arms. Frothy pink bubbles were erupting from his nose and mouth. Both sets of robes were a grotty mess. “Stay alive, please,” Harry begged to whatever deity would listen and grant his heartfelt request. “I need you.” With a crash, they landed in the secured zone for Aurors who were injured. “Emergency! Auror Down! I need a healer!” Harry yelled through the room. “Auror down!”

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Sing along with The Hammies!

We’ve got a musically packed concert tonight with the debut of The Hammies! The show was a mix of original songs and karaoke, which was a blast!

Just as The Hammies promised, we sang our hearts out all night!

The opening was the well known party hit back in the day known as The Dance Disco. Standing up to sing and dance along immediately set the mood for the rest of the night. Dancing to the beat of that song never gets old!

Next up was an original tune written by Apple titled Hold Me. It has a nice catchy beat that’s like a fusion of disco, jazz, and R&B, which is a combo I never expected to hear! Apple’s vocals also take the song to another level with her energetic performance. She’s the main songwriter of the group and she’s the kind of artist who takes pride in her creative works as seen by her performance.

Tag Team, by Apple and Hamlet, is a fun duet about friendship. Once again Apple blends some unlikely genres into something new - blues, punk, and folk. Hearing the song makes me think of my friends and the adventures we shared together. If I were to put together a playlist of songs that accurately describes my life, Tag Team would be one of them.

The next song was a rocking instrumental starring Hamlet on drums titled Hamster on Wheels. It was inspired by a movie of the same title, which is one of his and Apple’s favorite movies. The instrumental comes from the infamous and climactic chase scene, which I’m vaguely familiar with even though I haven’t seen the movie. Now I’m going to check it out because that was an awesome instrumental!

Act 2 was the karaoke session where we sang along to a bunch of our favorite songs. Alternating Alternate was the first song, a popular song at karaoke bars because of how hard it is to sing. The lyrics are basically like tongue twisters! I got lost halfway through the first verse, which always happens. What makes this song fun is that you can throw in any kind of words in and it’ll still make sense in an abstract way. So by the end it was a completely different song!

Game Night Anthem is another popular karaoke hit. And much easier to sing along with as well! It’s an oldie but goldie. I think by now the song’s almost thirty years old and yet it still sounds like something you’d hear on the radio today. It’s one of those songs that almost everyone is somewhat familiar with the chorus even if they don’t know the title.

To close the karaoke act, we clapped and stomped to the beat of Rock Out. Once again another popular choice for karaoke, specifically as the finale. I think about half the karaoke nights I’ve been to ended with this song, which makes sense because it’s so fitting!

Now it’s back to The Hammies, opening with a solo Apple composition called Donut Call. Who knew that you can fit so many puns in a two minute song? There’s probs at least fifty puns in there and I love that! I can’t imagine theat it was easy to write so props to Apple for being a creative lyrical genius!

Of course we gotta have a ballad or two to round things out so Hamlet sang a heartfelt performance of Behind the Scenes, which was co-written by Apple and Goldie. I never expected to hear Hamlet sing a sort of crooner-style ballad so that was surprising and really nice to listen to. Also the lyrics are simple but poetic and sort of remind me of my Lilac and the Cadillacs days.

The next ballad was sung by Apple and it’s called Summer Moon. It’s sad and wistful with twinges of longing and homesickness. Before being revised by Apple, the song was originally a poem by Muffy called Summer Night. Muffy said she wasn’t happy with it and turned to Apple for help. Apple saw the potential and turned it into a pop ballad with touches of country and soft rock while Muffy tweaked the lyrics.

Before we knew it, the show was coming to an end. The Hammies closed with a fantastic rendition of The World is Turning. It’s a classic hit that Apple and Hamlet grew up listening to on the radio so that song was the top choice for a cover. I’ve heard covers that don’t really do the song justice and after hearing The Hammies’s version, I’m finally convinced that it’s possible to be on the same level as the original.

Tha Hammies will be back again with a whole bunch of new Apple compositions in the future!

junebug|previous|ao3|next 

[convenientalias]

Am i alone: or, all my femslash ships ranked by how alone i am

Note: I made this post last night bc I was feeling sad about a couple of my ships being extreme rarepairs, and it cheered me up. Slightly (I love statistics, and some here are quite positive). Whether it will be interesting to literally anyone else is a fuckign question

I’ve decided, for my own amusement, hubris, and depression’s sake, to make a very unofficial study of how alone I am in my various femslash ships. Therefore, in this post I will list my ships from least alone to most alone. Methodology: I’m seeing what percentage of the fanfic on AO3 is written by me (by # of fics, not wordcount), and how many other authors wrote the remaining fics. For this reason, “my femslash ships” may be defined as ships for which I have written one or more fanfic on AO3. Also, I’m counting all fics tagged with the ship, whether the ship is central to the fic or not.

Is this study useful to literally anyone else? probs not, but when do i ever do anything for any reason but my own pleasure.

Azula/Ty Lee*--I wrote only 1/263, or 0.3%, of all fics for this ship. What a beautiful, populated ship. There’s a new fic every week, basically. #blessed.

Amanita Caplan/Nomi Marks--I’ve written 1/192 fics for this ship, or 0.5%. I’m not gonna bother to count how many other authors there are. A lot of these fics have it as a secondary ship but still, it’s great.

El/Max--I wrote 1/142 fics for this ship, or 0.7% of all fics. Not gonna count authors. Unfortunately I wrote that one ElMax fic for a prompt; I’m too much of a Luke/Max shipper to enjoy this less than rare pair.

Chloe Bourgeois/Marinette Dupain-Cheng--I’ve written 2/146 fics for this ship, or 1.3%. Again, not counting other authors. Look how populated it is! I wish I was motivated to actually ship this but I’m kind of eh on it.

Lila Stangard/Rebecca Sutter--I wrote 1/29 or 3% of fics for this ship. Twenty-one other authors. Look, I like this ship, but I’m actually surprised it attracted this many people.

Caroline Farrell/Bennett Halverson--I wrote 1/23 or 4% of fics for this ship. About thirteen other authors. This is probs the most popular f/f ship in the Dollhouse fandom.

Cassie/Rachel--I wrote 1/17 fics for this ship, or 6% of all fics. Thirteen other authors. I think there are lots of authors who stop by but not many who stay, much like me. I should stop by again some time.

Nancy Wheeler/Kali Prasad--I wrote 2/30 fics, or 7%. Twelve other authors. A lot of people come back for seconds here, or more! It’s a nice, semi-populated ship.

Jordan Baker/Daisy Buchanan*--I have written 3/34 fics, or 9%. 23 other authors. It’s nice! but people still only read for this fic once in a blue moon.

Sun Bak/Riley Blue--I wrote 1/11 fics for this ship, or 9%. Eight other authors. Everyone dabbles, no one stays, like me, but it’s great. When I checked the tag there was a fic there I hadn’t read yet! amazing.

Sun Bak/Soo-jin---I wrote 1/10 fics for this ship, or 10%. Seven other authors. Sense8 is a nice fandom for femslash tbh, it’s warm and friendly.

Jeri Hogarth/Jessica Jones--I wrote 1/10 fics, or 10%. Eight other authors. Why don’t more people ship Jessica with a canon lesbian? Is Trish that big of a draw?

Violet Cross/Amelia Scanwell--I wrote 1/13 fics for this ship, or 7%. Seven other authors. Y’all, this is a canon ship, more of y’all should be writing for it.

Frenchy/Sandy Olsson--I wrote 1/5 fics for this ship, or 20%. Four other authors. Grease fandom’s pretty small, I’m surprised this ship is even as big as it is.

Empress Chabi/Mei Lin*--I wrote 1/5 fics for this ship, or 20%. @fucktheg0ds is bae. One other author who isn’t here. What a good ship.

Wendy Corduroy/Pacifica Northwest--I wrote 1/4 fics, or 25%. Three other authors. It’s kind of crack so this does not surprise me.

Adelle DeWitt/Echo--I’ve written 2/6 fics, or 33%. Three of the other fics are less than 500 words, but who cares? there are 3 other contributing authors, which is nice.

Lady Caroline Howard/Charlotte Wells--1/3 fics I wrote, or 33%. I’ve heard Charlotta has a new f/f ship so I doubt it’ll get much more attention.

Mick/Kali Prasad--I wrote 2/6 fics, or 33%. Four other contributing authors. This could be a homey rarepair if we actually talked to each other and were motivated to write more.

Acolyte/Radiant Goddess--I wrote 1/3 fics for this ship, or 33%. Two other authors. Rare as hell.

Adelle DeWitt/Caroline Farrell*--I have written 2/4 fics, or 50%. Two other contributing authors, but no fics but mine since 2011. I’m fucking alone. But I have seen some people talking about the ship in a recent exchange, so who knows?

Mei Lin/Jing Fei*--I’ve written 5/8 fics, or 62%. One other author but it’s @fucktheg0ds and she’s awesome so I’m gonna say I’m not alone. But also, if anyone would care to join, please do!

Jordan Baker/Myrtle Wilson--I have written: 2/3 fics, or 66%. One other contributing author. I’m very alone. (but one of these fics was written for an exchange request, so someone else out there cares.)

Christine Daae/Carlotta Giudicelli*--I wrote 14/17 fics for this ship, or 82%. Three other authors. I’m not alone but I might be the only one stanning. 

Meg Giry/Carlotta Giudicelli--I have written 2/2 fics, or 100%. I’m not even sure I ship this, but I cared enough to write two fics. If you ship this you will probably be alone.

Kala Dandekar/Lila Facchini*--I wrote 1/1 fics for this ship, or 100%. Fucking join me in hell, bitches.

*this is a ship I love a surprising amount.

Concluding thoughts:

For y’all femslash shippers--If you want to go play with some nicely populated ships, join TyZula or Nominita or ElMax or Chlonette. There are lots of fics. My personal fave of these options is TyZula, but who am I to tell you what to do? On the other hand, if you want to make me a very happy bitch, pls write me some fic for: Kala/Lila! Carlotta/Christine! Jordan/Daisy (there can always be more)! And! Mei Lin/Jing Fei and Mei Lin/Chabi! These are my personal favorite femslash rarepairs. I also do recommend Kali/Nancy and any femslash involving Sun Bak because what babes, and you’ll probably get a little more love than with my super-rares.

For myself--I should really write more of basically all these ships, but especially my super-rare pairs, Kali/Nancy, and Sun Bak femslash.

Did anyone enjoy my pointless study? oh well. if anyone wants to make statistics like these for themselves about their rarepairs, first, tag me, and second, know that if you’re a multishipper like me it takes a lot longer than you’d think.

[suckerfordeansfreckles]

A Match Made in Heaven 6

(You can start reading from the beginning here, find part 5 here or read this fic on AO3.)

It’s only two days after they first met, on the following Monday, that Dean decides to text the Novaks. Sammy had asked him right after coming home on Saturday if Claire could visit him and see their apartment soon. Dean had to check his schedule at the garage first, but once he was sure he could clear Wednesday and spend the afternoon at home with Sam and Claire, he starts composing a text.

 Dean is a little ashamed to admit this, but he ends up debating for about an hour which brother to text, in order to ask if he could pick Sam and Claire up from school on Wednesday. He decides to contact Gabe, because… it would be weird to text Cas, right? He might think that Dean is… clingy or annoying?

 The logical part of his brain knows that Cas would totally understand that the text is about the kids… but Dean’s anxiety flares up just thinking about texting him and tells him to be extra careful, as to not accidentally reveal how he feels about Castiel. Not that there are any serious feelings. But Cas knowing that Dean thinks he’s cute would… undoubtedly make things weird.

When he gets an answer from Gabe, his stomach clenches just from reading it. Instead of telling him whether or not he can pick Claire up, his text says: Hello, Dean-o. Cassie’s the one responsible for her after school. I don’t think either of them have plans for Wednesday, but you better check with him

 Well, shit. Seems like he can’t avoid texting Cas. He flops down on the couch next to Sammy, who’s absolutely mesmerized by an episode of some nature documentary about life under the sea and doesn’t even notice his brother’s predicament. When he starts typing the message and notices his stomach clenching again, it leaves him wondering why the hell he even is this nervous about texting a guy. Not like he’s a blushing virgin. What’s going on with him??

 Hi, Cas. It’s Dean Winchester 😊 Just wanted to ask if I could pick Claire and Sammy up from school on Wednesday and take them back to our place. I can drive her back whenever you want her to be home

 Sent. Done. Why would Cas even think it’s weird of him to text him? Dean’s just overthinking this whole thing.

Hello, Dean. That’s very nice of you to offer- I can pick Claire up, though. Just send me your address and a time!

 Once every is settled, Dean leans back and tries to focus on the documentary Sam is watching. Cas is a nice, normal guy. There honestly is no reason for Dean to be so nervous about interacting with him. He takes a deep breath and starts thinking about what to cook for the kids on Wednesday.

  Wednesday with Claire is really pleasant, and Dean, once again, has to admit to himself that the Novaks are probably his new favorite people. Sam was absolutely right about Claire, she is an amazing girl; nice, polite, adventurous, creative and very imaginative. Even though she’s already 12 years old, she builds imaginary worlds- yes, Dean may have eavesdropped a little to hear if the kids are getting along well- that amaze even him.

 When Cas comes to pick her up around seven, Dean opens the door and immediately knows that he’s going to need a few seconds to catch his breath. Cas, though completely soaked from the rain, looks amazing; dark hair a wet mess, damp jacket clinging to his broad shoulders, cheeks a little pink from the cold. God, there seems to be no possible situation in which Castiel would not look absolutely breath-taking.

 Cas steps inside and they chat a little about work and school in the hallway, waiting for the kids to finish up. He tries to learn as much as possible about Castiel’s upcoming week, soaks up every word he speaks, and manages to steal a few seconds in between to admire Cas’ gorgeousness. When the two Novak siblings actually do leave, he finds he might even be as sad about it as Sam is.

  It goes on that way for the next few weeks, Dean and Cas arrange meetings and the kids are over the moon whenever they get to spend a few hours with each other. Dean tries to get a little creative with how to spend all this time with them, takes them out to the park or the zoo whenever he has the time. Cas, apparently, starts taking them to museums and art galleries.

 Dean was a little perplexed when Castiel first told him about that, because… two pre-teens in a museum? There’s no way that’s not going to be horrible for Cas. Having to keep them from doing something dumb, having to keep them quiet and keep them interested?? But Sam came home gushing over whatever exhibit they’ve visited (something about ancient Egypt?) and, honestly, Dean should have predicted that. Both Sammy and Claire seem to absorb knowledge of any kind, no wonder they love trips like that. Cas definitely knows what he’s doing.

 Sammy’s weeks seem to start evolving around when he gets to see Claire. He’s absolutely in love with basketball and Bobby profusely assures Dean that he’s doing great whenever they get to talk after he drops Sam off from practice. The next game is a few days, so Dean is going to see his progress in person soon, anyways.

 Dean can’t deny that he looks forward to seeing Castiel, as well. He lives for the few minutes he gets to spend with Cas whenever it’s time for one of them to pick their respective kid up from the other’s place. They never have a lot of time to talk, but they somehow still manage to get to know each other even better over the next three weeks. It feels nice to be somewhat included in Castiel’s weekly schedules, to be a part of his life- albeit just a small one.

 And the more Dean learns about Cas and his life, the harder he falls for him. He can’t even contain how happy he is whenever he gets to see Cas anymore. He must be freaking obvious, staring and blushing and babbling away every time he so much as looks into bright blue eyes.  

 He thinks about that a lot, but since nobody ever addresses the topic, he just ends up thinking he and his feelings are safe and secret.

  It’s only when the picks the kids up from school to take them back home once again that he realizes that other people might have actually caught on to his crush.

 They have been driving for about ten minutes when they reach a red light and Sam and Claire stop talking for the first time since entering the car. So, obviously, Dean leaps at the chance to ask about Castiel.

 “Hey, um, Claire. How’s Cas doing? I know he’s been pretty stressed lately, what with all the exams and stuff, has it gotten any better?” Dean asks as nonchalantly as possible, fingers drumming on the steering wheel.

 She snorts a little and Dean’s head shoots up immediately, watching her through the rear-view mirror for a few seconds. When she answers, she’s grinning at Sam and her eyes twinkle mischievously. “Oh, he’s fine. He’s done with most of his exams by now and has a lot more free time. Why are you asking?”

 “I was just wondering,” he mumbles, fixing his gaze on the road again.

 “You ask a lot about Cas. A lot more than about Gabriel… Do you not like Gabe?” It’s Sam, this time, and Dean can actually hear how hard he’s smirking just from the tone of his voice.

 “No! No, I like both of Claire’s brothers. Cas is just… Cas and I are closer in age, so we get along better?” It sounds more like a question than an answer, and Dean immediately knows that the two sneaky little devils won’t drop the topic now. Dammit, why is he this unconfident when it comes to Cas?

 “Is that so?” Sam asks.

 “Or do you maybe have a huge crush on Cas?” Claire continues. “Because that’s what Sam and I think. You’re not very subtle with all the staring and the dreamy sighs.”

 “Wha- no! I don’t have a crush on you brother. And I most definitely do not sigh dreamily around him!” Dean grumbles defensively and grips the steering wheel a little tighter. Yes, maybe he does have a (rather huge) crush on Cas. But he’s also 19 years old and had a lot of crushes before, shouldn’t he be better at hiding them?? Or, at scoring a date?

 “Dean, you know you don’t have to deny anything. We won’t tell Cas or Gabe about this,” Sam says soothingly.

 “And, you know, Cas is into guys. He’s also a lot more social around you than he has been around… anyone, ever. I’m pretty sure he likes you, too.” Claire speaks up again.

 “He- he is into guys? Are you sure?” Dean feels a huge bubble of hope filling his chest, but he tries to contain just how happy this new information makes him. Shit, that was his biggest fear all along- finally telling Cas and him being offended by his feelings, or-

 “Do you want some help with this? Claire and I could help you win Cas over,” Sam interrupts his thoughts enthusiastically. “We made a list, just like you and I did back when you helped me befriend Claire!! You could finally start wooing Cas!”

 “Guys!” Shit, they’ve put thought into this! If two pre-teens are cooler about this than he is… Maybe they could actually help him. Claire does know Cas very well. “Okay, you know what- Tell me about that damn list.”

                                                            Part 7

tag list:  @planetahmane @justyourordinaryfangirl @casgirlat221b @trxye-sxvxn @bslove17 @dellez @runtosleepdreamer @iamyouknow-yours @destielhoneybee @breathingdestiel @wellofwoes @xxgoldensnowflake @dshelley  @originalobjecttheorist @mishapocalypse-must-return @unknownanonymousgirl @ancient-celestial-being-of-chaos @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @weirdoblogger69 

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[arse-blathanna]

Fight or Flight - [1/1]

[Ao3] 

Fic Summary: After Locus disappeared during a movie night, Wash and Carolina took it upon themselves to figure out where he'd gone. The problem was that A'rynasea is fast, and getting Locus to come back would be an effort in itself. 

Rating: T

Series: Reduced Polarities part 4

Relationships: Agent Washington/Locus, Agent Carolina & Agent Washington

Characters: Agent Washington, Agent Carolina, Locus

Tags: Running Away, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 7,773

Author’s Notes: I hate editing. Thank you for reading!

Everyone knew that Locus was doing his best to adjust to life with the Reds and Blues on the Retirement Moon. There was something about it that just seemed to sit wrong with him- perhaps the inaction or the social aspect of being around the Reds and Blues.

No matter how hard Locus seemed to be trying, there was still something that wasn’t working. Wash hadn't been the only one to notice it. Locus would shut himself off from the others, or would skip meals or otherwise try to keep his distance as much as he could. If he trained, or ate, or slept, it was always alone.

[Read it on Ao3]

To some, that was merely a frustrating consequence to having Locus around which they assumed would lessen with time. After all, Carolina and Wash had gone through the same thing before adapting and learning to live with the madness. Eventually Locus would come around too.

That didn’t make the time any less frustrating. It was a process which only seemed to slow and slow, never crawling towards Locus really letting himself fit.

For Wash, it was becoming incredibly difficult to work with.

It wasn't as though they weren't trying to be there for Locus or reaching out for him. It wasn't as though Locus was just being left to flounder on his own, and it certainly wasn't as though they were forcing him into things. If anything, they had given him far more room than he had ever truly deserved.

Wash understood it though. The reluctance that Locus was living with was coming from a very real place, Locus obviously treating the rest of them like glass because he knew that one screw-up was likely to end up being the difference between freedom and a likely death penalty to be served on Chorus. Even with due process and appeals, he’d be looking at spending the rest of his life in prison- assuming that nobody got to him before the executioner did.

The only problem was that it was hard figuring out whether Locus was being genuine or whether he was making an effort to separate himself from them even more. Whether or not it was introversion or aversion was something that Wash thought that maybe only Grif had been able to figure out.

And even then, he couldn’t be entirely sure, because if there was anything that Locus worked exceptionally hard to do, it was that he tried to keep whatever he was thinking and feeling locked up as tight as he could. Being in armor helped, and when Locus’ own flesh and blood face would betray him, seclusion would not.

For the rest of them, the world simply kept on spinning. Wash went through his daily routines the same way that he would normally, and everyone else would do the same. The Red's activities had changed a little bit to accommodate for Locus' presence, but with Locus keeping his distance that didn't matter so much.

Friday night came around and Tucker demanded a movie night, while the others came along happily for it (even if there was some grumbling about Tucker choosing Reservoir Dogs yet again). Wash decided to go because the chance to unwind seemed nice. It was a bit of time off from the nonsense that had filled their days. When he got there, Wash realized that Locus hadn't made an appearance.

Grif had even gone off to get him, which normally would have at least gotten Locus to come out for a bit, but Locus had insisted on being left alone.

That was when Wash knew that he should have realized that something was wrong.

One hour and thirty nine minutes later, he left the base and saw that A'rynasea was gone. Ever since Locus had decided to stop and join them, the ship hadn't moved, not even once. Locus would spend some of his time there around it, but actual plans to leave had been absent. Wash had suspected that Locus slept onboard sometimes, but that was as far as anything had gone.

There wasn't even a sign that it had been cloaked, just a patch of brown sun-starved grass where it had been sitting for so long.

Thousands of possibilities ran through Wash's mind. Locus could have run to abandon them, he could have run with the intent of going back to mercenary work, he could have done anything. He could have gone back to Chorus to turn himself in but if that was the case, then Kimball would have called to let them know what was happening.

Panicked and worried, Wash sprinted to Carolina's room on pure instinct. She was inside, sitting on her bed and painting her toenails a familiar shade of blue. Somehow that was something that Wash had never been able to imagine from her- it didn't feel like the Carolina that he knew.

"Locus is gone." He gasped out, skidding on the floor a little bit and bracing himself against the door. "I don't know what's going on."

Carolina startled and shot to attention, accidentally tipping the bottle of robins egg blue paint over. It splashed onto the floor, likely to leave behind a color that she’d never be able to make go away. She gave the spill an annoyed look before asking. "He left?"

"His ship is gone," Wash explained, "And he was acting... weird, earlier."

"Dammit." Carolina groaned as she stood up. "Have you tried his room yet?"

She walked over to Wash's side and grabbed his arm, tugging him along with her as the two of them begin on the way to Red Base. Wash couldn’t help but feel bad knowing that her painted toes were going to be ruined by the time that they get there. She hadn’t even bothered to put on sandals.

"I came as soon as I realized he was gone." Washington explained, keeping pace with Carolina. "It felt urgent because since he got here he has never moved his ship."

"Right." Carolina said, closing a fist and pounding on the door to Red Base, perhaps a tad too aggressively.

Inside, Wash could already hear Sarge shouting about dirty blues, and really wants to bash his own head against a wall because of it. The good thing about the Reds is that some things were delegated.

Simmons was the one to get the door.

"Hello?" He asked, looking between the two of them. "We aren't interested in a surrender today."

"That isn't why we're here." Carolina growled at him. "Is Locus here?"

Simmons blinked, standing up tall and looking much more than just a little bit unsure of himself. "I haven't seen him. Whatever this is, I'm guessing it's important?"

"Very." Wash explained. "Could we please come in?" ‘

Simmons turned and announced their presence, which meant that Sarge was probably going to be keeping an eye on them for the entire time that they were there. That was something that Wash really didn’t want to have to deal with, but if that was what it took to get information, then he’d tolerate it.

But once he was finished Simmons just stepped out of the way, leaving Carolina and Wash to beeline towards Locus’ room in the hopes of finding him.

The door was closed. Wash walked up to it and banged his fist against it, knowing already that Locus wasn't going to be there to open it. He couldn’t just let the issue lie, though. He needed to do what he could and check, just in case A’rynasea had only been relocated to a different spot. It could have just been taken to be cleaned, or on a short flight to check that the engines were in working order.

Wash knew that was unlikely. He knew that the more real possibility was that Locus had taken his ship, and he’d left them without a word or so much as a goodbye.  

A minute passed and Carolina swore under her breath before grabbing at the door handle and turning it forcefully.

Locus had left the door unlocked, which was definitely odd for him. What Wash knew about Locus was that when it came to his personal life and his personal thoughts and affects, it was all kept carefully closed away where nobody else could intrude. Leaving a door unlocked was very uncharacteristic of the man that he knew.

He'd only been in Locus' own space a few times, but he had never really learned that much from it. Locus made a point not to have many personal affects around, probably because he was so used to having to go from place to place without any chance to ever settle down. It was possible that there were other issues that kept Locus from letting himself have those things, but Washington had never asked. Pushing Locus probably wouldn't have helped and would have only made him close himself off more.

When Wash pushed the door open, he wished that he could have felt surprised by what he found. It was Locus’ room, but the blanket and pillow that he had allowed himself had been stripped away. The crate that Wash knew Locus kept his things in was gone, and it left the room looking the exact same way as it had when Locus had first moved into it.

That, more than anything else, confirmed Wash’s worst fears.

Carolina set a hand on his shoulder, doing what she could to comfort without saying anything extra. Wash closed the door, since he had his doubts that anything would have been left behind for any of their sakes. Locus had just left, out of nowhere, and he had done it because-

Well, he didn’t know. He did know that if this was going to work, then he needed to be willing to go out there and try and find Locus.

Carolina and his eyes met, and just like that, the beginnings of a plan were in place.

The two of them hurried out of Red Base before starting the conversation on what they were supposed to do. Wash and Carolina both knew the way that things were with the Reds and Blues all too well. If they said too much in a place with prying ears, it would probably start a panic. Or a crusade. Or some sort of strange rumor.

"We need to find him." Carolina said, before Wash even got a chance to get involved. It made him jump a little bit.

"We do." Washington replied, furrowing his brow and pursing his lips. What he knew about Locus' ship was that it was almost unnecessarily fast. If Locus had wanted to be gone, then he was long gone. And had probably did something to cut their ways of contacting him in the process.

A constantly breaking down Pelican which had been in one too many crashes like they had wasn't likely to be able to do the job that Wash needed it to be able to.

"I'm going to call Kimball." Carolina said, holding her head up high.

Wash startled even more at that, because the absolute last thing that they needed to do here was give Locus more reasons to run. "Why-"

"We need a faster ship." Carolina answered before Wash could even get a second word out into the open air between them. "And Vanessa will be willing to offer us something."

"And if she asks questions?"

"We received a distress signal and wanted to check it out." Carolina concluded, blinking and staring into the distance for a moment. "It might not hurt to start preparing for a trip, Wash."

Wash swallowed hard and nodded before rushing off to his own room and beginning to gather his armor. Besides that he didn't actually know what he'd need aside from perhaps a weapon or two- and that was assuming that they both found Locus and he decided that he was going to fight. Wash didn't know what they were going to find, even if they did.

A part of him sincerely dreaded finding out. He'd spoken to Locus enough to at least have an inkling of what was usually going on in his head- and what was going on in his head was never good.

He rushed through the packing process, let Tucker and Caboose know that he and Carolina needed to try and take care of something off planet, and rushed to Carolina's room. When he got there, she was just hanging up from the call with Kimball, and was half-armored.

"Ready?"

"She's going to be here soon." Carolina said, shrugging. She picked up her grappling hook gun, considering it for a moment before putting on the most shit-eating smirk that Wash had seen from her in a long time. "I hope you remember how to use a jetpack."

Wash went pale, bad memory rushing back all at once. "Of course I do."

"We might need it." Carolina explained, sighing. "If we find him."

Washington took a breath because that was really on the top of his list of things that he didn’t want to deal with at all. Carolina was probably right though- if they found Locus’ ship, they weren’t likely to get him to just let them on board. And they’d need a way to get to his ship anyways, since it was unlikely that they’d be meeting on the ground.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

The ship that Carolina had requested arrived just on time. Carolina ended up taking over the controls of the ship, which left Wash as the co-pilot seeking out any sign of A’rynasea on their tracking and radar systems. He wasn't expecting to get anything significant, since Locus was likely to just hide everything away from view anyways, just like he would in person.

Carolina made the verdict that they should go into orbit around the moon first. It wasn't likely that Locus would be there, but it was something that they could try. At the very least, Locus would have had to been there for a little while if he did truly go off planet.

"Carolina?" Wash asked, somewhere in the middle of their fifth hour of flight. He wasn't comfortable and he wasn't happy It was a good thing that armor was basically home for him at this point in his life. If it wasn't, he was sure that he would have been pretty unhappy.

"What is it, Wash?"

"Do you think we're actually going to find Locus?"

There was a moment of quiet, Carolina clearly deep in thought as she stared straight on ahead of them. "I don't think we will." She shook her head, frowning. "When Locus doesn't want to be found, he won't be. You know that as well as I do."

"I guess I just can't believe he's gone."

A year and a half before, that was something that Wash never would have said. He never would have even thought it, really. The time that they spent away from Locus definitely outnumbered the amount with him around by a significant margin. Even when Locus was with them it was rare that he actually spent time with them.

Carolina let out a heavy sigh. "You know that you can tell me what's... going on. Whatever it is."

"I don't know." Washington admitted, his voice quiet. "If I could tell you I would,  but Locus is..."

"Different?"

"Yeah." Washington blinked. He wished that he could feel secure enough on the ship to be able to take off his helmet. "He left so suddenly. Grif didn't seem to know anything, and it was like the Reds hadn't even noticed."

Carolina nodded, slow and sure, like she was trying to go over the information in her head so that she could parse out something. She was as aware of Locus' reclusive habits as anyone. Even if she didn't really do much to try and get into Locus' life or schedule, she knew.

The silence filled the room, as wide and empty as the void of space that surrounded their little ship. Wash wanted to be content in it, but couldn't, so he just looked back down at the ship's radar.

Off in the distance, there was a little red blip. Silent and without any signs of life or motion. "Carolina-"

"What is it?"

"Picked up something on radar. Could be something, might not be."

Carolina snapped her head over in Wash's direction and looked down at the radar for herself. With her left hand, Carolina pressed down on a small button before tapping on the blip to set the ship's autopilot. "We'll get ready."

"Should we attempt to make contact?"

"Not until we're in range. If it's Locus, he might not answer though." Carolina shrugged a little bit over that.

"What makes you sure?"

"Locus isn’t exactly like the talkative type." Carolina mumbled. “That was Felix’s thing.”

Really, the worst part of it was that while what Carolina had said was horribly reductive, she was correct. Wash took a deep breath and stared at that blip on the radar again, letting it bore itself into his memory. “I just want to find him. Before something happens.”

There is something there in the way that Carolina went dead quiet. Wash felt some guilt for it- he’d probably managed to drag up some old memories and feelings that Carolina would have preferred left forgotten. While Wash knew that apologies might be in order later on, he didn’t care that much. Priorities.  

“I know.” Carolina finally whispered back. The ship sped up, and Wash just watched, and watched, and watched, in the hopes that they had indeed found who and what they were looking for.

As they drew closer, Wash took a breath and looked up. He could almost feel a wave of relief at the recognition of the ship. At the very least, it was of the same make and model of Locus’ A'rynasea. That doesn't seem to mean that much since Wash can't really say that he'd seen one before Locus had first dragged him onto it while he’d bled from the neck.

The gold-orange glow of the lights managed to be almost comforting, even then.

Less comforting was the fact that Locus' ship seemed to just be floating there in the dead of space. At the very least its engines were off. Whether it was being manned was less of a sure thing.

Wash reached for the little radio on the ship that he and Carolina had taken and tried to make contact. "This is the-" He looked over at the little registration plate on the corner of the dashboard. "Wren 57D, attempting contact. Do you read? Over."

The radio was dead silent, and Carolina shot him a look that would have shaken him to silence when he was younger and still in Project Freelancer. Wash shook his head and just committed himself to waiting until a response came, staticy like there had been an attempt made at using vocal masking, but without any of the necessary resources to do so.

"This is A'rynasea. Over."

"This is Agent Washington of the Wren requesting permission to board." Wash winced a little bit. He knew that playing his cards so openly was probably only going to end poorly for him and Carolina. But this was Locus, and Wash was fairly certain that he knew Locus. Honesty would likely only carry them further.

The silence was deafening.

"Over." Wash added hurriedly, just in case Locus was looking for that sort of military propriety. Perhaps he needed it to feel like a more professional situation rather than what appeared to simply be a personal matter.

"Denied. Over."

"Locus, please-" Wash gripped onto the radio transceiver a little too tightly. "I'll come alone. I just want to talk." Once again, he was only met with silence for a long moment before he took the time to rush out the "Over."

"You shouldn't have come." Locus said back over the radio, but Wash could hear something in his tone that was almost akin to desperation. "I am going to ask that you leave."

"So that you can do what, Locus?" Wash snapped back, almost regretting it in the process. "Please, let me come over there. If we're going to do this, I'd rather that be done somewhere private. I just want to talk."

"Fine." Locus hanged up abruptly, and Wash groaned because he couldn't exactly pretend like he didn’t know what was about to come.

Carolina sighed quietly and turned away from him, and Wash could hear her rifling through the crate of supplies that they'd brought along. When Carolina held out the jetpack for him to take, Wash groaned because jetpack flight was something that he still really hated.

Mostly because even through everything, nobody had ever told him what happened to Georgia. And the only thing that he'd gotten out of using jetpacks was a bad reputation involving grappling hooks and his own genitalia, and then an exorbitant amount of teasing after the fact.

It occurred to Wash for just a moment that Locus might not have been familiar with that particular story. He tried not to dwell on it too much as he strapped on the jetpack though, since he had priorities and couldn’t count out the possibility of A’rynasea just speeding off before he could even unboard.

Either Locus would leave, or Locus was expecting him. Either way, Wash knew one thing about A'rynasea which was for certain.

That ship wasn't like most ships. It was high tech in an almost scary way, and managed to always burn much hotter than anything else that Wash had encountered. His armor would shield him, but Wash wasn't sure what he was going to run into when he got there.

Washington walked over to the door, and activated his grav boots. When he glanced over at Carolina, he saw that she had done the same, steady blue glow formed around her feet.

"Are you ready, Wash?"

"I think so." Washington replied, taking a deep breath of recycled oxygen. "I'll have my radio on, but I won't be sending anything back to you unless I have permission. I get the feeling that whatever is happening-"

"It might be personal?"

"Something like that." Wash replied, shrugging. "Whenever you're ready for me to go."

"Take your time." Carolina answered before hitting a button next to the door that will lead to the tiny depressurization chamber. "I'm not going to rush you."

Wash nodded and stepped in. The door closed behind him in a single automated motion and Wash was glad that his armor was able to regulate the air pressure in his helmet so his ears didn’t pop. Once the chamber was completely ready, Washington watched the door open up in front of him and expose him to the openness of space.

Wash hesitated for a moment, taking his time to steel himself for what was to come. With one fluid motion, he pushed off from his and Carolina’s ship and decided to let himself drift forward for as long as he could before he finally decided that using the jetpack was even necessary. Just like he’d been trained, Wash used it only for slight boosts and course correction. Any more was overkill.

Out in the open, it wasn’t as obvious just how far A’rynasea actually was from them. That wasn’t to say that Wash wasn’t confident that he could make it, but he also didn’t know how he was supposed to get onto the ship without using a ramp. He’d certainly never seen Locus use any other way before. When Locus used the ship, it was like a door would just appear from nothing.

Wash turned on his radio and tried to reach Locus’ personal channel. “I’m approaching.” He said calmly. “I hope that you have a way to get me on.”

Nothing else came on from Locus’ end, but Wash watched as A’rynasea turned and set into a very slow motion, Locus clearly taking great care to ensure that Wash couldn’t get hit or hurt. The ship flew over him, and when Wash saw the light appear he realized just how Locus’ ship actually worked. The magnetic tug was harsh, but Wash grit his teeth and let himself be dragged along.

He ended up being warped into one of the larger parts of Locus’ ship. It had been some time since Wash had last been inside of A’rynasea. There was a small stack of boxes off to the side, the things that Locus had taken with him instead of leaving them at Red Base. Wash was sure that there was some more hidden away which had never even made it off of the ship.

Locus was there, tired and halfway out of his armor. He looked almost sad, and Wash wished that he knew why.

He thought back to his promise to Carolina, sighed, and pulled off his own helmet so that it could feel more like he and Locus were on even ground.

"You shouldn't have come." Locus repeated, turning away and looking to the front of his ship. He began to walk, while Wash let himself follow after.

"I felt like I needed to." Washington explained, shrugging. "The only other one that knows that you left is Carolina."

"Then it won't be long until-" Locus hesitated, took a breath, and shook his head. "It doesn't matter. You should go back to them."

"So should you." Washington said, feeling a slight spike of anger at it all. He needed to figure out what the hell was going on in Locus' head, but as things were at the moment, he didn't know. Wash didn't think that he wasn't going to be able to figure it out at all- but it was probably going to be like pulling teeth to figure it out.

"No." Locus mumbled. "I shouldn't."

Wordlessly and without giving Wash too much attention, Locus seated himself in the pilot's seat of A'rynasea. For a second, Wash could have sworn that he'd seen the little orange glow of an AI, but it was snuffed out too quickly for him to be sure. Wash swallowed and approached the front of the ship, taking the seat beside Locus.

For a moment, Wash could have thought that he'd actually understood. Locus had spent his entire life with only room for one or two people other than himself. Perhaps he'd gotten scared and run off because he didn’t feel like had room for so many people. Locus had only had one person that he’d ever really talked about having before.

And that person was dead, flung off a tower on Chorus, little more than a bad memory.

"Why did you decide that you needed to leave?" Wash watched Locus' face, searching for any sign or any emotion. It was the only thing that would have been able to really give him away, Wash thought.

There was a slight quirk to Locus' eyebrows, and his perpetual frown deepened. "You all deserve better than to have me there."

“We liked having you there.” Wash answered Locus, truly and sincerely hoping that he was going to be able to get through to him. Even if Locus ended up leaving for whatever reason it was that had driven him away in the first place- Wash knew that he had to at least try. “And I mean all of us.”

“Are you just here to try and make me come back?" Locus backed away from Wash, and it was easy enough to see the nervousness on his face. If anything, the one emotion that Wash was really able to get out of Locus' face is pure distrust. Just then, Wash finally realized exactly what Locus was thinking.

What had he thought it would have looked like? Him and Carolina, on a ship that they'd gotten from Chorus and was probably registered there- there was no way that hadn't flown under the radar. If he were there in Locus’ place, Wash knew he would have been able to say what he would have been thinking himself.

It looked more like an arrest attempt than a genuine attempt to make someone come home.

"Yes." Washington mumbled, tilting his head down. "But it isn't... because you left. Or because we want to do something to you."

"Then why-"

"Because we care about you." Washington cut Locus off before he could get a chance to go on and make it worse for himself. "And we wanted to know what made you want to leave."

"You won't-"

"Understand?"

"Yes."

"What makes you so sure that I won't?" Wash watched Locus' face. The entire time since he arrived on A’rynasea, he'd kept his eyes and his attention as closely glued to Locus as he could possibly manage. This is a situation where he couldn't afford to miss any facial cues. Locus wasn't great when it came to social situations to begin with, it would be too easy for him to once again slip through the cracks on some detail.

Wash didn’t want to risk it going both ways.

Locus' silence spoke for itself. He offered no explanation, just stared out into the vastness of space ahead of them like that was what he actually wanted.

"Is it about Felix?"

"Yes." Locus mumbled, eyes flicking away. "And no." He looked down at his hands, folded them together. They're bare, just like his face. Wash had never really noticed just how badly scarred they were before, especially not the large Xs that were slashed into the backs of them. Far from accidental, full of intent. "It's... difficult to explain."

Wash blinked. It reminded him of Carolina, the way that she liked to keep people at arm's length because of what had happened in their past. Perhaps Locus was the same way. Wash knew that Locus had probably been in the military or at war for close to his entire life, but there were gaps in his story that he'd always chosen to keep quiet. Either way, it wasn’t a way to create healthy or regular bonds.

He reached over and touched Locus' hand, hopeful that at least touching him could have been enough to get him to open up. Instead, Locus tensed significantly under his fingertips, hands clenched together far too tight.

"You aren't used to staying in one place, are you?" Wash asked instead, since he was sure that he could wind his way back to the topic of Felix eventually. That was still a horrible mess of feelings that he knew Locus had been avoiding for a fact. Or rather, he'd been dodging the topic because it seemed like he was afraid to give something up.

"I can't say that I am."

"Is that how it is with people too?"

Locus seemed to hesitate more about giving an answer to that question than he had to any other question. Really, it only did more to confirm Washington’s suspicions than it did to do anything else. It explained why Locus was so reluctant to try and bond with the rest of them, and why he often spent his nights on ships.

“I’ve only ever had one person. You know that.” Locus said finally, speaking slowly. “And he’s gone now. And I could have-” He shook his head. “He’s gone now.” He repeated the words, like they needed to be stressed.

Despite that, there was no anger or accusation in his voice. No acknowledgement as to the events that had led to Felix's death. Not even a further discussion because everything on the topic that had needed to be said was already out there.

At his side, Locus stared on ahead, not allowing himself to give Wash anything to show that he was vulnerable. He just focused on something that was definitely out there, but was also unidentifiable because it didn't really exist.

"And he's never coming back." Locus murmured after a long while.

Locus' eyes flicked down to the control console. He reached out over it, his hand hovering there over the maps. Washington felt his heart speed up at that. He didn’t think that Locus would just take the two of them and go like that. Carolina would have been too close behind on their trail, and there was no way that the other Reds and Blues wouldn't rally for the sake of fixing things themselves.

"I'm sorry." Wash said, but it only ended up leaving him feeling empty. The truth is that he’d never felt sorry for Felix, not for what happened. He was sorry that Locus had been left feeling so completely attached and even dependent on Felix for so long, and without any chance of reprieve. He was sorry that Locus was still in drift, hurting and feeling sorry for himself with no solutions to be found. Only memory.

"I have to leave." Locus mumbled, his expression too heavy. There were dark bags under his eyes, that would have needed some time to have been able to develop. Days worth, probably. How hadn't he noticed that Locus was in such bad shape? "To protect the rest of you."

"Protect." Wash repeated after Locus. "What is there that you think we need to be protected from? Hargrove and Charon are dealt with. Felix is gone. After what happened with Temple- which had nothing to do with you until you found us, we're probably going to vet our adventures a little better. Why do you feel like you need to-"

"Because you're here." Locus cut Wash off. "Everyone I ever end up close to ends up being... lost. I don't want to continue that trend."

"So you're just leaving."

Locus shrugged. "I figured it might have been easier not to drag out the process."

It was an explanation, that was true, but Wash couldn't help but feel like it still wasn't good enough. There were too many things missing, it felt wrong to be Locus' reason.

Later he would realize that it felt so wrong because it was a decision based on emotion rather than any sort of reasonable logic which Locus could have applied to it. Morality had nothing to do with it, nor did anything else. It was simply based on emotion and fear more than anything else.

"Do you really think this will... help?"

"No." Locus mumbled. "But it would be better that the rest of you aren't so involved with someone like... myself anyways. I know that none of you have forgotten."

And god, of all the times where Locus could have been right, why did it have to be that one?

Wash hadn’t forgotten the nature of Locus’ crimes. None of them had, aside from Caboose possibly, but whether Caboose remembered something wasn’t always the best measure to go by. That was something that Wash had learned long before.

“I understand that you’re afraid.” Wash sighed, running a hand through his hair in complete frustration. “And I know that… I can’t technically stop you from doing anything.”

Wash was pretty sure that Locus wouldn’t try to drive off with him still on board. Locus swallowed hard and looked down, shaking his head in a way that makes him seem even more resigned and unsure of himself than usual.

“Washington-” Locus mumbled. “I don’t wish to hurt any of you.”

“I know.” Wash replied. “But you’re going to anyways.” He swallowed hard, an obvious lump in his throat that he wasn't going to be able to ignore that easily. Wash felt a little like he was going to throw up. He needed to call Carolina and let her know how things were going, but he couldn't do that without also spooking Locus in the process.

"I know." Locus' hands balled into tight fists that probably left his fingernails digging into his palms. "But this is... for the better. It will keep any of you from paying for my crimes."

Wash looked out at the darkness of space that stretched out in front of them infinitely. Distant stars created small points of light, but they weren't enough to make the universe bright. It occurred to him briefly that this may have been the only way in which Locus could view anything. He lived surrounded in impenetrable darkness, and the bright spots-

He would actively run from.

Wash reached over for Locus' hand and caught his wrist. Locus went shock still the second that the contact was made. It was almost like he'd stopped breathing, just like that- all because of a single touch. "Locus."

The look that he got back from Locus was the only response. His eyes were storm grey and upset, wide and impossibly scared.

"I'm here because I don't want for you to leave us." Wash said as firmly as he could manage. "If you stay with us... things may not be great, but everyone seems to like having you around. The Reds, Caboose. Everyone."

"Yet you ignore yourself."

"I'm here. And Carolina’s on the ship that brought me here."

Wash tugged on Locus' arm, and Locus moved in closer to him, if only by increments. He didn't seem to be happy about it at all, but he also didn’t resist. "Please, just come back. You don't have to run like this. You're doing it because you're afraid and I understand that, but with us-"

The words that Wash wanted to say seemed to die on his tongue. It seemed like nothing he said would ever really be enough. "You'll be safe. And you can help to keep the rest of us safe."

Locus stared down at the spot where they're touching, and tugged his arm away from Wash. "I will never understand why you want this from me, Washington."

"Good." Wash said, because the discussions about understanding that the two of them used to have were things which he was glad to have strictly as a part of their past. "You don't need to understand. You just need to know that's the truth."

Locus squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head before taking a seat at the console again. Wash joined him, making sure to sit as close to Locus as he could. It wasn’t about making Locus uncomfortable, it was about giving him a way to be ground himself.

"All you have to do is turn the ship around, go back to the bases, and then everything will be fine." Wash explained calmly. "Nobody is coming looking for you. The guys probably don't even know that you're gone yet."

"And?"

"And that means that if you don't want to hurt them, you can get back without doing that." Washington leaned forward, to watch Locus' expressions as they came. "I know that I can't make you do anything. I don't think that after Chorus, anyone could. This isn't an order, this is a request. Come home."

Wash hadn't thought about how the Retirement Moon had become home to him. He didn't know if the others had come to think of it in that way yet either.  It was just nice having a place where they didn’t feel like they had to run or fight.

"What happens if I do?"

"Nothing." Wash repeated. "I'm just going to request that you come back, and when you get back you actually try to be a part of the things that we do there. Come to movie nights, come to dinners with the rest of us. It might make things easier. I know that’s all stuff that you’ve heard before, but it’s still true."

Locus nodded, but he still didn't seem convinced. He was still keeping his gaze away from Wash, his expression too solemn and sad. "I don't know that I can."

"You just... have to try." Wash didn’t like that the old saying the only advice that he could think of to give to Locus. But it was also all that he actually had that he could even offer. "You show up and just... let yourself be a part of things. You don't have to live like all that matters is that you punish yourself. It's okay to want to be around people."

"I don't know." Locus mumbled, pulling his hands away from Washington and letting them reset down in his lap. He was fidgeting, in minute ways that Wash never would have been able to imagine Locus doing a year before. "I can't shake the feeling that... something will happen."

"Nothing's going to happen." Wash reassured Locus. "I promise you. As long as you're with us, I don't think that anyone is going to want to turn you in. The fact is that ever since you got back you've been... better. Amazingly better."

Locus shook his head again, exhaling slowly but still sounding too tense. "I don't feel better." His hands tensed in his lap again, balling back up into fists. "I just feel like...." He shook his head, and Wash realized then and there that this was one of those issues where Locus didn’t have the vocabulary to express the things he felt and worried about. "Like me. I feel like I am still broken. And that will not change."

"You don't have to feel that way."

"But that's what I feel." Locus mumbled. "I'm trying. But I don't know that I can. Because it’s never… enough. And it never will be."

He hadn't managed to get through to Locus in the ways that he'd been hoping. Wash sighed and just made sure to keep close to Locus and to keep Locus from feeling like he had to run. It just wasn't that easy when Locus was almost unwilling to listen.

"We're willing to help." Wash said, calmly and plainly. "You don't have to believe me. But you can come back and let us try."

Locus hesitated. "And if I need to go again?"

"Then I think that you know what will happen." Wash said as pointedly as he could manage. He didn’t want for the Reds and Blues to be put into a position where going after Locus was a need, but Washington wasn't sure that it would never end up that way. Whether they liked it or not, Locus was still a wanted man with horrific crimes to his nam. If he was just using them to rest before going on the run, then it would be dealt with in time. "But that doesn't have to."

"I know." Locus mumbled. He balled his hands into fists in front of him, staring down at them with the same cold grey eyes that somehow managed to be vulnerable and soft as they were hard and emotionless. "I'll come back."

"You don't want to, do you?"

"No." Locus admitted. "Not particularly. But it's probably for the better that I do. You're right."

Wash looked out into space again. He can see the ship that he and Carolina had taken. She'd steered it closer to A'rynasea, clearly looking to be able to corral the ship if necessary. It wouldn't be, but the effort seemed to mean enough just fine. He was going to have to make a call to her so that she knows it's safe to go.

Wash gently pat Locus' shoulder, squeezed it gently like it would be able to ground the man and remind him that he's really there. Locus needed that sometimes. "We can go whenever you're ready." Washington reassured Locus.

Locus nodded, expression carefully blank. He stared at the controls again, readied to reach out for them and use them, but hesitant in all of the wrong ways. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

Locus squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, pained and upset. Washington gave his arm one last squeeze before going ahead and picking up his helmet. The sound of metal scraping quietly against the metal of the ship's dash startled Locus at least a little bit. Wash was sure to mumble an apology of sorts to Locus before putting the helmet on and calling Carolina.

Within an hour, the two of them were on the way back to the retirement moon.

For that first night back, Wash realized that Locus wasn't interested in going in and making his presence too well known again just yet. The two of them ended up bunking together on the tiny bed in the back of A'rynasea that Locus considered to be his home for what appeared to have been an extensive amount of time. Locus didn't sleep much. Under the bright glow of the alien ship, Washington couldn't get any sleep either. The possibility that Locus kept the ship so brightly lit intentionally crossed Wash's mind for a moment, but he chose not to dwell on it. There were a lot of things that were going on with Locus that Was knew would never be explained to him. Locus had managed to sleep though, even if it was only a little bit. Wash laid open-eyed and wide awake in the bunk, Locus slumbering silently and deathly still at his side. They bumped together in a few places, and Wash didn't want to leave. For a moment, he understood why Locus preferred A'rynasea over staying with the Reds. It was a spartan living that he had there on the ship, but it was also much more personal than Locus allowed anywhere else. Wash tried hard not to think about the little photo of Locus and three other friends pinned up near where the pillow is. One of the men on it is obviously Felix. The other two were people Wash didn't recognize, a couple. Their earlier conversation rang in Wash's head. A reminder of just how much there was that he didn't know about Locus. He tried not to think about how Locus had mentioned that he was afraid of losing them. How Locus had more specifically said that everyone close to him ended up being lost. Washington looks at the photo, with Locus and Felix and all his sharp angles, and the couple at their side. The man is grinning wide, the woman tucked in against him with a broad bright smile. In the photograph, Locus looked as sad as he always did. Wash looked down at Locus' sleeping form, and thought about where he came from himself. For just a moment, he thought that he might have actually understood. Wash knew that no matter what, he probably wouldn’t ever get the full picture when it came to Locus. But he'd get bits and pieces. If Locus ever felt like he wanted to talk about these things, then he would. Wash could trust in that much at least.