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no but genuinely it's actually wild how little sense totk story makes. it's beyond small continuity errors or character arcs being beyond botched: their own self-contained proposal for a world is actively nonsensical, there's layers upon layers of stuff that doesn't even try to strive for an internal logic, and it gets worse and worse the longer you consider everything
#thoughts#totk#totk critical#I know no zelda story is airtight logic and it's fine!!!#it's actually fine and good!#but here it has so little to say?#beyond having the grueling task of coming after BotW#which is one of the most grounded and “realistic” entries in the IP narratively speaking#so the fact they didn't really maintain that tone and that choice of trying to portray a tangible and believable world hurt the game so muc#again if they wanted a reboot tone-wise they should have made a different hyrule#and it would have been much more forgiveable imo
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MK's First Dad
The snakes represent my many, many dads!
Why yes, MK, they do represent your many, many dads.
Or rather, one dad, many times.
This dad.
So very clearly, the world of Lego Monkie Kid has been experiencing timeloops. Nuwa made MK to collect the stones and when the cycle of the world ends, he yeets himself into the pillar, and restarts everything from the beginning. Without outside factors, everything happens the same as it always did.
The Celestial body establishes itself, demons run amok, the journey happens, society builds, further and further until at least the Jade Emperor and maybe the other Guardians reach the end of their life and the Heavenly Pillar starts to crumble and has to be rebuilt and start the cycle.
Until THIS cycle where the Nine Headed Demon decided to wake MK up early.
And you know what?
I believe every single word the NHD said after he revealed himself was one hundred percent the complete and utter truth. He never ONCE lied to MK or any of the others, at least not from his perspective.
From the explanation of his motives, to the idle comments.
We see this in what he says he's doing. NHD said he isn't trying to push MK to a choice. What he wants is for MK to MAKE a choice. If MK chooses to sacrifice himself, NHD said he's going to save everyone, affirming his choice. By that same token, when MK comes back out of the pillar, he says he choose to face the end together in a supportive tone, affirming his choice again!
NHD didn't lie. Whatever choice MK made, he supported and encouraged MK in it.
His tune only changed, ONLY changed when he was terrified he was going to be trapped in the cycle again. And even then, it was only a brief moment. Once he saw he didn't have to be trapped, he was back to supporting MK, and he was relieved.
Even with the way NHD interacts with the others shows this. NHD allowed them to SPEAK. He only interfered when they tried to PHYSICALLY take MK's choice from him. NHD was fully enabling them to convince MK to make the choice they wanted him to make. They were allowed to persuade, because it was still ultimately MK who got to decide what he was going to do.
From start to finish, NHD had two goals. One was to leave the cycle, which he saw as happening either way. Either everything fell apart, or he had a way out when the cycle reset. MK's moved changed his gateway and that's when he got upset, but he had no issue with MK's CHOICE, just the fact he would be trapped again.
And two, that very choice.
But why? NHD manipulated Azure. He manipulated the Yama Kings. Potentially a lot of people in heaven and those below, which is pretty against people making choices. So why does he care so much about MK's choice?
Because the cycle wasn't supposed to end for another eon.
Because this cycle wasn't the first, it wasn't the second, and it likely wasn't even the hundredth.
Which means MK didn't have Pigsy. He didn't have Tang, or Mei, or Sandy, or anyone else in his life. They were long dead by the time the Harbinger is released in every other cycle.
Now with MK having longer to cook, he may be fully grown. Or he may be a kid again, but I think with what NHD said about wanting to give the Harbinger a chance to have a life, the Harbinger is usually grown enough to be able handle the trials.
But he's probably not got a lot of personality going on. Nuwa may have chosen an extreme way to maintain the pillar, but she does seem to be trying her best to minimize suffering. She is repeating the cycle because its the only way she can see in protecting the world from chaos. She makes Harbinger because a sacrifice is necessary for the pillar, to remain as a building block like I think she is. Harbinger has to be someone who EXISTS, but if he's largely a blank slate, then the loss is not so great.
Harbinger lives to sacrifice himself. He has no family. He has no life to lose.
But this means someone who is blank and potentially easy to lead astray.
This is why the trials. Because really, Harbinger is suppose to just live, grab the stones, yeet. Why does he need TRIALS? But then there is what the trials actually teach, as we know them.
A trial of resolve, to push through to the end despite the dangers. To endure danger and hardship to the end. Then the other trial, of focus on self, on what he needs to do in the present. But what's interesting is the DANGER of this one. Its not to Harbinger, but whoever is with him.
These trials are to make sure Harbinger has the nerve to go through danger and hardships to get to the end of the quest...and to keep his focus to PROTECT OTHERS.
Harbinger is made to be a sacrifice. He is made to protect. He is made to save. What happens if he sees people in danger on the way to the pillar? He would get distracted, but in delaying, he puts them in MORE danger. He has to be able to ignore those in smaller danger, and focus on his inner task, to make sure he focuses on the greater goal of sacrificing himself to keep them ALL safe.
I'm sure the dragon and tiger would have something similar.
So the trials help train Harbinger into some personality, but he still has to GET there. More over, he needs to have SOMEONE for the Black Tortoise.
The Yama Kings also know about the Harbinger. They know when he should be released and what he is supposed to do. They likely know what he is supposed to be like, and likely they are also how MK is supposed to even GET to the Jade Emperor.
The Harbinger needed a guide.
And I think that is the Nine Headed Demon.
Because here is the thing. NHD says he's not a monster. And he's tired of being the hero. And he isn't lying.
Here is the cycle.
The world starts. The Celestial body establishes itself. Demons run amok. The Journey happens. Society builds. Nuwa at some point puts the Harbinger in the stone. Eons pass. The Jade Emperor hits the end of his life.
The Harbinger is released.
And NHD is there, as a representative of the Yama Kings who know enough to know this will happen and what is expected. NHD helps the Harbinger to the trials. He helps him to the pillar. He watches the Harbinger sacrifice himself.
The cycle begins again.
He is there again.
The Harbinger dies again.
Over and over, until at some point, perhaps after the first time, perhaps later on, NHD is exposed to chaos. Likely when the cycle is ending and resetting, there is a window that chaos seeps in and NHD is able to see all that is beyond the world.
This is likely why he thinks he's fine regardless of MK's choice. Either he left during the brief window of a reset, he everything fell apart, so he was freed. He didn't account for continuing on beyond the reset.
NHD sees beyond and he sees beauty. NHD sees beyond and now he can REMEMBER. Why is hard to say. Likely he made a deal with whoever "he" is, but regardless, NHD loves chaos and he retains his memories.
But NHD was chosen to help the Harbinger for a reason. He is not cruel. He is not heartless. He loves the masses. He wanted to save and protect them, even at a cost, so he was chosen to help the Harbinger.
It is why even after he saw chaos, he chose to return. He had seen something so GOOD in his eyes, and he wanted to see if he could change the mind of those in the world. To convince Heaven to LET the chaos in. To end the resets and allow chaos and life to CHANGE beyond.
But no one listens.
They reject him.
Call him a monster.
The cycles continue.
He tries. He tries persuasion. He tries trickery. He likely tries force, but the Harbinger is too strong to stop and he will fulfill his destiny. He asks for help.
He even asks the one person who might stop the Harbinger.
Sun Wukong.
NHD said they were old enemies and old friends. NHD sought a solution, so he would ask who he could for help. Sometimes he could convince Wukong to help him. Others, he couldn't. And sometimes, he managed to get Wukong enraged enough to become an enemy. But unfortunately even with Wukong's power, he's never quite strong enough to keep the Harbinger from the pillar.
Likely because the Harbinger wants nothing more than to get to the pillar, and ultimately, the Harbinger is just some kid getting used, and Wukong can't bring himself to kill him. Allowing the Harbinger a moment to get through regardless of how the fight is actually going.
Which could be going far in Wukong's reaction to MK.
NHD said that MK is a remnant of chaos. Which means either the clay he was made from...or from Wukong's stone. And since the Celestial Primates are ODDITIES, its likely Wukong's stone that has that bit of chaos in it that Nuwa is using in her sacrificial building block. No one is gonna be able to make Wukong do anything he doesn't want, and likely none of the other primates, and Nuwa doesn't want to ask anyone to end their life either. Start anew is better.
But likely this bit of chaos may be why Wukong feels a draw to MK. Some part of him remembers the Harbinger. Remembers his strength. Remembers he's a kid being used, who hadn't been allowed to live, who did so much for the sake of others. A kid who idolizes him. A kid who can use his staff.
I think it says something with how much Wukong focuses on MK becoming self confident and choosing things for himself and why he steps in with the Spider Queen because its a fight MK desperately doesn't want even though he SHOULD be capable of handling it, instead of thinking the fights are too much for MK like the Lady Bone Demon. Wukong wants MK to decide things for himself, he wants MK to LIKE himself. Wukong wants MK to choose to. There is a bleeding of the timeline because of Wukong's connection to chaos by being a Celestial Primate.
The Harbinger is a blank slate...but he is a person. NHD, at first, just wants to help the world. He wants to be the hero. He wants to move beyond the cycle. But in trying to find that path, he introduces new elements to the Harbinger.
The Harbinger starts to show signs of development. Of change. The Harbinger starts to laugh. The Harbinger starts getting cheeky. The Harbinger starts crying when fights break out at the end. There is LIFE in the Harbinger.
Yet another beautiful thing this cycling world rejects for the sake of continuing to spin.
NHD tries to find a third solution. He tries over and over again. He knows the Harbinger will continue to the pillar, to save the world, over and over again, and he doesn't have the power to stop him. The Harbinger will always choose to sacrifice himself. He cannot end the cycle by preventing the sacrifice. He looks for a way to move past the eon. Maybe if he had more TIME, he could convince people to give chaos a chance. Perhaps he could allow the pillar to crumble more slowly, allow the sun to peak in over time. If he could just get the box to OPEN, then that would be enough.
Except nothing works. He can't fight anyone strong enough to replace the guardians. He can't find another means to fix the pillar. He tries over and over again.
There are several consequences to this and I'll get into one of those in another post. (Red Son has some INTERESTING things going on.)
NHD cannot find a means to move beyond the cycle. He is getting disillusioned. He wants to save everyone. He wants to bring them to the sun. He just can't.
He knows...he knows he doesn't HAVE to keep trying.
He sees it every reset. He has a window. He can LEAVE the cycle himself. Let everyone stay in their cave forever.
Except.
He sees the Harbinger throw himself into the pillar. The one he's sees sacrificing himself countless times for a world he never gets to truly experience. He only gets slivers of it. Moments of joy. Moments of triumphant. Moments of pain. Moments of truly being alive, when he deserved so much more.
NHD is tired. His sanity is fraying. He could simply go...
But he decides one more time.
He would live the cycle one more time.
Because the Harbinger deserved to fully experience the world. The Harbinger deserved to DECIDE whether or not to keep the cycle going, or let the world fall apart.
He manipulates the world in a different way. He's lived this cycle countless times. He knows much of what happens. He chooses a time.
He knows DBK gets released. He knows in short order, the Lady Bone Demon also gets freed, whether this is by the Demon Bull Family, the Mayor, or perhaps even Macaque (I haven't gotten a solid theory on what Macaque's deal is YET, but I have a suspicion his revival may not be a consistent thing.) Either way, DBK getting freed gets Wukong off his mountain because DBK is running around with HIS staff and while Wukong isn't interested in being a hero, that is HIS staff, thank you very much.
And the Lady Bone Demon is simply too big of a threat to ignore.
Its the first time where Wukong HAS to be active.
Its also the first time, in a while, where Wukong leaves his mountain. At times, visiting this city because its the first time in a while where the incarnations of the pilgrims are in close proximity and Wukong can't help himself. He just has to check things are okay.
Its the perfect set up.
The danger of releasing the Harbinger early is people noticing him. He will feel compelled to help people. NHD is pretty sure there is no way to be rid of that. So he needs something to justify this powerhouse running around.
This is the perfect time. Pigsy is a family man. If he leaves the Harbinger nearby, he will at least take care of the kid, and hopefully take him in. NHD can't be sure, but perhaps he has an idea depending on if Mei always finds Pigsy and Tang independent of MK's existence.
It works though. The Harbinger becomes MK and he's in place to be noticed by Wukong, who NHD already KNOWS experiences some bleed. Has seen Wukong react to the Harbinger with familiarity. Knows Wukong will be intrigued by MK enough to stay close.
Then DBK's freeing comes and Wukong is acting on suspicions, and maybe NHD is manipulating other things, but MK ends up with the staff, and Wukong is declaring MK his successor and NHD is thrilled.
MK now has the perfect smokescreen. The Celestial court has no say of what goes on with Celestial Primates without direct force. They don't know how they WORK. If Wukong says MK is his successor, then clearly he's done some weird primate magic on the boy and that's why he's powerful. The fact DBK and the Lady Bone Demon appeared, it screams of potential destiny to Wukong to. Throw in a few more of Wukong's enemies, keep him thrown long enough to not risk him thinking too much. Not like its hard, Wukong doesn't often think too much.
Even if this set up did present a few unexpected challenges NHD didn't account for. Macaque was largely an unknown because without MK's influence, IF Macaque is ALWAYS revived, Wukong and him likely never make up. They have too much bad history and too much stubbornness to actually work through their issues without MK calling Macaque out on his bullshit and enabling them to have to be around each other without turning into a huge fight. NHD got lucky that it took as long as it did because while Wukong doesn't overthink, Macaque certainly does and his plan may have been in more danger if Macaque had longer to explore those questions from episode one.
But no one knows MK is the Harbinger.
MK is allowed to experience life and what is means to save and have people to care for and he gets to make decisions on the scale of restoring the pillar and its perfect!
MK not only can make a choice, but will have the experience to do so.
Its all NHD ever wanted for him.
He's likely been doing something to the Jade Emperor to hasten his decline, or perhaps an eon really counts for the end of the man's life. Either way, he just has to free someone who is strong enough to take on the Jade Emperor in that state, but isn't strong enough to keep the stone functional.
The cycle can finally end.
MK can make a choice.
He can be free.
NHD never lied to anyone. He wanted to save everyone. He wasn't a monster. He wanted MK to have the freedom to chose, whatever it was.
He was only ever against MK the brief moment when he realized the world would continue and he wouldn't have his gap to escape. He didn't know WHAT would happen after that moment. Chaos had a chance to come in. There was a chance chaos wouldn't be able to, or at least wouldn't be able to for a very long time and he was so TIRED, he just wanted out, and for a moment, he was afraid to lose the thing he wanted for HIMSELF.
But as he stands on those stairs, as he sees the chaos, he is relieved.
He is HAPPY.
His words to MK are genuine. They are full of care and perhaps love. The child he had sent to die was finally alive. He was brilliant and clever. He found a third option that he hadn't been able to do for eons past.
He knows chaos is coming and that there will be a battle. The chaos MK feared may still be allowed through. So he warns him there is danger, that he will have to deal with the consequences of what happens Next.
He wishes him luck and thanks him. Sends him to a home he is glad his Harbinger is allowed to experience. For better or worse.
#Lego Monkie Kid spoilers#season 5 spoilers#Nine-Headed Demon#MK#Harbinger of Chaos#Sun Wukong#Lego Monkie Kid#LMK#LMK spoilers
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Namari is the first of laios old party that gets reintroduced into the story before dungeon meshi really shows it's hand about the bigger themes it wants to tackle. Theres a lot of sneaky setup during her two chapters. Lets talk about her!
Dungeon meshi starts out as kind of a straight forward fun dungeon adventure amoungst adventurers and friends. Namari notably, throws a wrench in this perception while maintaining that lighthearted tone--notably, through introducing the fact Laios is a weak leader. Namari was in the party since the start. She was clearly in a bad situation at the time where adventuring was her only option bc she didnt have enough money to even get off the island. Despite that, she stayed in the party despite the fact she needs money bc she liked the comraderie. Sad that she felt like she had to choose between getting out of debt or having ppl she could be honest to.
All three party members who left did not have their needs properly met. Falin let her life be dictated by laios and marcille and was too passive to try to make choices for herself. She ends up getting eaten trying to save them + then puppetted around by thistle as a result of marcilles attempt (sucess) at reviving her (+ ends up starving the whole time) . I think shuro got kidnapped into laios party and then steamrolled over bc hes just so bad at saying no + also seemed to have never chosen anything for himself in his lyfe.
Theres a clear parallel between laios lack of attention towards these threes needs and his lack of attention that he was hungry at the fight.
Laios treated his like a group of friends going out adventuring without any regard to the needs of the group. Yeah, you could say they couldve told him, but as a leader its kinda ur job to actively keep tabs on this. And Namari really exemplifies this bc she really is in dire straits, her joining the party was out of desparation, and her need for money was getting ignored for years. That she even brought this up to the siblings and they still went on a dangerous expedition and didn't take missions aimed at making money is kinda like.. wow......
It takes a near death experience for her to realize she has really got to go actually achieve her goals —but crucially I feel if laios took more jobs to make money, she wouldnt have left at that crucial moment. I think theres an argument to be made that shuro probs wouldnt have left if namari didnt bc hes a passivity king and may have been more willing to get his retainers to work w laios party if they didnt both mutually agree laios wasnt cut out to lead the party to try to rescue falin. Which I dont think is an unfair assessment of his skills at the time.
Like he is well intentioned and doesnt mean anything bad by it but theres a limit to the amount of carelessness you can have as a leader. Later on, shuros going to have similar complaints and hes going to be much less nice abt it.
Anyways, i think its interesting the party namari aligns herself w afterwards is the right hand man of the lord of the island, awfully close to the occupation her father held before he disapeared after getting caught for money laundering. In her intro, she keeps her guard up from mr tansu and the party bc shes jaded about either having to accept a job for money or to be friends w her new party. I think this may be partially bc she let herself get dragged around for too long in laios party bc she had a soft spot for em. But after sharing a meal , having laios affirm his trust in her, and actively communicating w mr tansu shes able to get both the money she needs to climb outta debt and a good working relationship w the tansus and the twins by clarifying specifically how she feels. I think tansus a bit suspicious bc he thinks shes just in for the money and disregards her feelings as a result. I think theres a bit of an undertone that the way he treats her like a human shield reminds her of how she was cleaning up her fathers messes all the time as a kid.
Crucially, I think this is the turning point for how she acts bc she has so much love to give to the world! She needed to have this basic need taken care of before she oculd help other people. She goes down to the morgue to check for falin. She agrees to help kabru after hearing his motives w utaya even tho theres nothing in it for her. Shes the one who reaches her hand up to support him when he almost gets trampled by the adventurers in the dungeon.
I think seeing ppl help him without asking anything in return helped kabru be more open towards other, which leads to him throwing his lot w laios despite all his doubts.
Doesnt rat out laios party under the threat of interregation tho also it seemed shuro was just 🤐 abt it. She tells tansu shes headed down w shuros retainers to rescue him when he gets kicked like a football into the dungeon - also a nice bit of character development that she clearly wants to help laios w the water spirit and only goes w tansus permission, but here she takes the initiative and tells him she'll report if she sees anything funny. Crucially she throws her lot against the elves, who are the closest to power at great risk to herself. (tho lowkey she may lose her livelihood if the elves take over so there may be a bit of self interest there + her patron is in charge of some of it).
constantly asking shuro for his input bc she knows hes shy
able to support marcille when shes in tears after losing her dream falin and laios despite feeling awkward towards her (kinda interesting parallel w how shuro feels hes bad w laios
For the two of em, think laios failed them as their leader, so they leave. And afterwards, their relationship improves bc they can truely dedicate themselves to what they want from him as their friends--running a legendary sabatoge against the elf cops so he doesnt go to jail!!!
I think theres something to the fact shes the one shown being eaten by the lion when time stops. Then also the one in the mana realm happy that she’d never have to struggle or hunger again. Her whole life seemed to be cleaning up her fathers messes, getting cast out for her fathers messes, just a constant struggle w the dwarves not seeing her as someone worth being in their community and drifting around without a place to belong. Even tho she found ppl now it doesnt change what happened w her. It's sad. But she also accepts she has to go back and face the future.
her love for music and dance is interesting- how like something communal that draws others in spontaneously is something she feels close to
also interesting is her interactions w other races--seems like she primarily interacted w dwarves for the first few years of her life, w just tenous connections to people of other races and it was getting so suddenly ejected that got her there. No coincidence that shes the one who goes in between the orcs and elves towards the finale to go hey we are on the same side. Also not a coincidence she gets along so well w the twins who were abandoned by their families and taken in by gnomes but also always feeling a little out of place in that community.
Tansu clearly stand in for her dad : ( her mom walked out when she was young : ( honestly im really happy she gets a family of a sort w them.
Im also glad she still has her own interest in weaponry and design even tho its tainted w her fathers actions
Her friendship w shuro is so fun. You wouldn't expect them to get along so well bc they seem so different on the surface and namaris blunt in a way that ud think be offputting to shuro and he kinda indirect in a way that would piss her off but theyre very often on the same wavelength.
da warriors bond...no words are needed i think they might be using telepathy. once u get below the surface they have a lot in common.
family issues so severe it managed to creep onto a thrid person thats not their parent
pretty pragmatic ppl at their core (eg. shuros less mad about ancient magic being wrong and more that theyre gonna go to jail for 10000 years before chimera falin apears, his gripe about eating monsters seems more being about youll get food poisening that way etc. namari placing herself close to power in her new party, her insistance on getting paid, checkin the morgue for falin,when things get too complicated she focuses on what she can do now).
seemed to have suffered pretty badly under laios leadership
both seem to be treated as outcasts on the island, namari despite growing up there , shuro for being a forienger even tho 4/6 ppl on his party are foreign
theres interesting contrasts w her replacement senshi, in the way theyre both outcasts in the dwarven community and the way their family/partys legacies weigh heavily for them. but i ran out of steam
shes good at keeping ppl grounded and has a good inventory of ppls strengths. of the three ppl who left the party, i think she has the best potential to be a good leader at the start.
shes pretty linked to the community of adventurers as a whole but (u guessed it) i ran out of steam
I think a lot of her role in the story parallels w the theme that u need careful boundaries and consideration of other ppls needs to be an effective leader, something chilchuck hits upon a lot. but also you need to take care of your own needs first (senshis running theme) and be able to take good inventory of your desires to face the future (izutsumis running theme)
#Dungeon meshi spoilers#namari#every day on this blog i just rant abt something random.... got bless
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THE RAMPAGE AND COLOURS PT. 2✨🎨
turns out i am diligent enough to complete the series! thanks again for reading my rambles!! it's been really fun writing like this, using my thinker to delve deep into stuff. again, i'll try to keep it simple and short.
i'd love to here other's thoughts on what colour they think the rmpg member's are, and maybe i'll do another for other groups too :DDD
if you hadn't read part 1 yet, go here. there i covered likiya, zin, riku, kenta, rui, yamasho, kazuma and hokuto. now, i'm gonna finish it off with the last 8 members. note, these were harder to think about than the first post (and when i say hard, i mean fucking HARD). so buckle up yall.
shogo - celeste (#95bfbc)
initially, i wanted to give shogo a warm colour. maybe a yellow or orange, but it didn't feel like it suited shogo for me. i knew i wanted to choose a colour with very vintage vibes. then, celeste caught my eye. it's a bright blue that looks well on its own, but when paired with warmer colours, it shines brighter. shogo might not be one of my favourite members, but he is his own work of art. calmer, but still with a bright presence.
shohei - pale chartreuse (#cde37f)
it was either yellow or green for him. bouncing between two, i had a difficult choice to make. then, i went "why not the middle?" chartreuse is very striking and is mostly a colour that looks amazing on its own. however, it's also strong with other colours, being able to stand out amongst them. shohei is not just his goofiness, or his more hard-working side. for me, chartreuse is a colour that combines both of his strong aspects into a vibrant person that is shohei.
itsuki - ginger (#f0a748)
ok, i'm gonna be honest. i chose ginger because of mars. i couldn't help it! i also thought about giving him a white colour, but it didn’t really fit as well as orange did. i think that he also has very orange cat energy. he very much does his own thing and has a tiny bit of a chaotic side too, though his initial vibe is cool, calm and collected. like itsuki is a cat trapped in a human body.
kaisei - sea green (#43a36d)
when i think about kaisei, i think of strong. not just physically (gaddamn that man is CUT), but also how mentally strong he is. pairing that with how his soft and friendly his character is, i just knew i wanted to give him a nice natural colour. something that matches his growth and resilience while also maintaining a nice calmer shade to match his softer side. i think something like sea green that was rich and vibrant was perfect for kaisei.
makoto - royal blue (#3238b3)
i know, ruby red is probably a better choice, but here me out. makoto always gave me a very regal vibe, with his strong features and the way he carries himself. considering his h&l character having a blue theme, the cooler aura he tends to have and the regality he was giving me, i think royal blue suits him well. the deeper, richer blue tone that sticks out elegantly matches what i think of makoto.
ryu - wine red (#521e1c)
ryu was always going to be wine red for me. it’s a colour that’s not too obvious, but also not something that’s going to disappear into the background. along with the fact that ryu looks fucking great with darker reds, i specifically chose wine red because it’s a colour that isn’t bold but still manages to have a strong impact. it matches his less outspokenness, but his beautiful aura of both maturity and softness.
takuma - peach orange (#f0654d)
i think i default creativity as a shade closer to pink/peach. i initially wanted to go for salmon red, but i settled on something closer to orange because 1) his hair and 2) it’s closer to a spring colour that suits him. i admire his creativity and his interests in art and fashion. for me, takuma has a refreshing aura that’s both sweet and soft without being too subtle. which kind of made me think of peach flavoured konjac jelly.
takahide - light green (#83bd68)
oof. takahide… he was like the final boss. i cycled through several options before settling on this one. there was yellow, orange, light pink, red, even pastel purple. i started to look through his older looks, tsuji looks etc. i thought about giving the whole ass rainbow but that would be a cop out.
then, i thought about his relationship with ryu. where ryu is shyer and reserved, takahide is the opposite. making them mirror each other would be perfect! giving him a light green was a choice i never saw myself making. but somehow, it worked. maybe it’s because of how naturally charismatic takahide is (i always tend to associate charisma with green), maybe it’s because he does quite a few green hair looks, or maybe it’s because his emoji is a goddamn frog.
but it works!
#the rampage from exile tribe#the rampage#exile tribe#i went on a spew for takahide i deeply apologise
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The pregnancy AU is so dark but good. Realistic.
CW discussion of abuse and suicide mention
What Ian is doing to Alice in this AU is called post-separation abuse (and arguably stalking). Using child support money and visitation to keep his hooks in her are particularly dirty tactics, as is trespassing in to the hospital to hound her while she’s vulnerable after the birth, and the fact that his suicide attempt injuries are creating guilt in her.
He’s taking advantage of her inability to set boundaries and completely ignoring those of the hospital that are set for patients safety and wellbeing.
Ian paying for the flat trying to get Alice to move back in is favour sharking and trying to maintain control over her through financial means.
I do know exactly how dangerous Jack is after what he did to Nick. And that he’s also 100% manipulating MC/Alice, and half considered the theory that he may want to take over MCs body. I don’t think things will end well. But in this particular instance I’m actually more on Jack’s side and despite his ulterior motives think him hitting the call button to help Alice/talking to her about Ian’s manipulation is super reasonable.
Even from source material I genuinely don’t think Jack is the only shady manipulator in the game. Unstable yandere Ian is plausible.
Canonically Ian’s got his own issues resulting from abuse and is pitiful but he’s still got the upper hand financially and whether consciously or not he can be a manipulative softboy. Ian’s crying and incessant calls pressure MC, he talks about their history and grabs for any emotional hold he can get. They can’t afford to cut ties by moving out of the flat he knows the location of and presumably still has keys to, and he doesn’t give MC any choice around him returning to try and get back together. He knows the calls are unwanted as he “didn’t think you’d answer”.
He’s scary persistent. Abandonment issues are making him irrational. This is beginning to border on post separation abuse/stalking.
Plus to me Ian’s ‘intimacy’ while together seemed very one sided, kind of forced or forceful with what he did at the end. You’re welcome to disagree but I found it pretty difficult to listen to that encounter. His wants trumped her comfort level.
It’s ok if anyone likes him as a character, he’s cute, nobody is all bad and it is fictional.
I’m just saying I buy this AU because personally even canon Ian gives me bad vibes.
This is a very thoughtful analysis on the pregnant with Ian's child AU I posted here and here, but also MC's relationship with Ian as a whole. I'm also glad that you enjoyed the AU, even if it's pretty darn dark.
I have actually touched on Ian's personality in several past posts, particularly in this in depth one where I examined why he might have cheated. I do agree that Ian is being manipulative with his phone calls, from the way he words things to how he reminds MC of their past together and how much he loves and needs them. How far he'll go to get them back is something we'll have to wait and see, as the demo only gives us a glimpse into his desperation.
I do agree that Ian's sex scene was a bit rough to get through. You're not alone in thinking that he was being too forceful since he wouldn't let MC stop, pleading with them and even physically taking control away from them. Even MC thinks of it as them being used.
It was like being used. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I didn’t care if he WAS using me.
I won't go as far to say it's dubious consent, but it did feel like MC's ability to say no or stop was denied because Ian was horny and really wanted them to get him off.
Some people like being choked/suffocated during sex, but that's not everyone's fetish, and MC wasn't given a choice in the matter, nearly blacking out from lack of oxygen at the end.
It's possible that this is a similar situation to the sex scene in the "no" route where the writing didn't quite convey the tone intended. I'm willing to accept that may be the case and reserve my judgement for intent with the scene for when the updated demo comes out and reexamines that scene in particular when it comes to MC and the player's ability to make choices.
However, as we've seen in the demo, Ian gets pointers on how to have sex from ecchi/hentai. I don't know about you, but those sex scenes tend to have the penetrating male partner be excessively forceful, with the submissive partner at times protesting or even clearly saying "no," only to have it be framed as them actually being shy and wanting to be dominated so forcefully. It's a "romanticized" view of sex that lacks real communication for the sake of keeping the action going, as it were.
There are plenty of people who learn misinformation from hentai/ecchi/porn/word of mouth, especially if they're inexperienced, as MC and Ian are. Often times these types of porn are meant just to satisfy the straight male audience without considering other genders or orientations. There's plenty of bad lessons about toxic masculinity in these types of fiction and how much focus and glorification there is on the dominant male partner to get off. If the media shows that the other partner is satisfied by these actions that mostly just gratify the dominant male, and Ian is not getting feedback from his partner to tell him what they disliked, he can just happily think nothing is wrong with his technique.
This is especially true when it comes to having a partner who struggles to advocate for their own comfort if it might make the other partner feel bad. This is the narrative I'm exploring with Alice and Ian in Sunshine in Hell, and is part of why their relationship turned toxic. Lack of communication on boundaries, and Ian taking more from Alice than she should have been giving, ultimately led to an unhealthy dynamic between them.
As we've seen in the demo, while MC did take the lead at first during the sex scene, wanting to make Ian feel good, when they tried to pull back, he stopped them, giving them pleading eyes and saying it's the first time they got so far and it feels so good. They love him, so they give in to his needs. They're used to taking care of him and his needs, as we saw a few times earlier in the demo. He's sensitive, cries easily, and is very apologetic. Someone who is empathetic will have a hard time wanting to do anything that might upset him, like, say... telling him that what he's doing is hurting or suffocating them. They might even just skip asking him to return the favor by going down on them next since he's tired.
That's the case with Alice. She consented to sex with Ian, but there was this undercurrent of pressure to it. They're in love, it's what he wants, he says such sweet things, and it's something natural that couples do, right? If they don't have sex, well... isn't that just saying that she isn't attracted to him, like those bullies that mocked his looks? Isn't that comparing him to the people who forced SA on her? Isn't that saying that his sex drive is wrong like his mother always told him? I don't think pressuring her was a conscious choice on Ian's part, but when Alice struggled to deny him what he wanted and was so used to helping and taking care of him since he needed her... there's this undercurrent of obligation that encouraged her to just, well, "lie back and think of England" as the saying goes.
In their relationship, Alice's comfort and needs were sacrificed over and over for Ian's sake, because he needed her. He needed her to be the strong one, to support him. He had a shitty life and was all alone. He couldn't face the world without her. Without her, he had no one who loved and cared for him, no one to find him desirable. He got spoiled by her in ways... so when he no longer had her and he suddenly had to stand on his own... he felt very lonely. And very horny.
So it's really not any wonder that Ian was tempted when other people, besides Alice, started paying attention to him, liking him, and finding him desirable... especially in a place where Alice simply wasn't around to fulfil all his needs.
I think Ian is a really interesting character to explore. I do think his story arc is going to be one of redemption for his mistakes, both with the cheating and with their relationship in general. He's flawed, and I think that's the point. I don't think it's bad to like him or want to give him that second chance. I also don't think it's bad to dislike him and feel uncomfortable by the way he manipulates and pressures MC.
Ian has done damage to MC with his cheating. Whether or not the rest of his relationship with MC was healthy, well, I think that we might have to wait and see and/or do our own headcanons there. I'm sure for plenty of Ian fans, what went on between him and their MC was a lot healthier, just with a few hiccups and one major issue with his cheating.
I do know that Alice and Ian simply weren't a healthy relationship. They won't work together, even if he never cheated. Too much damage has been done and continues to be done. What Ian does with the phone calls is crushing to someone like Alice who only wants him to be happy... even though he broke her heart over and over again... and he continues to do so in a desperate attempt to return things to the way they used to be, when they were happy.
Ian just doesn't understand that there were too many times that his happiness came at the cost of Alice making herself unhappy... while she lied to herself that she was happy just because she made him happy.
To be fair to Ian, he can't exactly understand that he's taking too much when Alice doesn't love herself as much as she loves him.
@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur
#Sunny Day Jack#Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack#SunnyDayJack#sdj#swwsdj#Headcanon Ramblings#Ask
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[Video transcript begin.]
[The video starts pointing at the floor, then shakes as Mai struggles to get the go-pro to stay in the correct spot in the room. She backs up, revealing the other two in her office.]
Mari: You are really fucking bad at holding that!
Mai: Shut Up!
Mari: Just get this over with, you idiot.
Mai: Gladly… As You Can See, There Are Two People Here. One Is Barely Alive, The Other Could Live A Long Happy Life.
Mari: Happy is debatable.
Mai: Anyway, I Had You All Vote. But We Still Need The Most Important One.
[The door to Mai’s office creaks, as Edgar enters the room. Holding up a hairspray canister and a lighter. He looks tense.]
Mai: Edgar! You Made It.
Edgar: I will light you on fire if you don’t hurry this up, Mai.
Mai: Sorry But If You Do That…
[Mai removes her jacket, revealing a metal plate and 9 wires.]
Mai: Rose will die! Surprise! Do You Like It? I'm Calling It The… Dead Rose Switch! Basically If My Heart Stops Before Rose Is Dewired She Dies!
[Edgars shoulders hunch up, but he maintains a calm tone as he speaks.]
Edgar: Great. Real creative name.
Mai: I Made It In Like 5 Minutes… Didn't Have Time For A Name, Anyway Hit One Of The Two Buttons Before You.
[He reaches out, but hesitates, looking between the two, before making eye contact with Mari, who nods. Edgar slams his palm into the button with their name on it, before stepping back.]
Edgar: W– well, I’ve made my choice.
Mai: Well, The Person Who Will Stay Here Is ROS- Just Kidding! It's Mari!
Edgar: Mai, you are fucking hilarious. Wow.
Mai: Fuck You, And Give Me A Moment!
[Mai begins inputting a code into her monitor, as Mari takes a deep breath.]
Mari: So um… Okay, what now?
Edgar: This… uh, this may be goodbye, for now. I guess.
Mari: Yeah… On the bright side, my girlfriend is here… In the vents, and she brought me cake! Do you want a piece?
Edgar: If you have one to spare, yes?
Mari: Okay, here!
[Mari hands Edgar a piece of cake.]
Edgar: Mari, I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry for lying to you about all of this. I thought it would keep you out of danger, and my judgment was way far off. If I didn’t do that, you wouldn’t be…
[Mari hugs Edgar, their next words being said with a tear.]
Mari: Edgar! this probably would have happened anyway let's be honest… Think of it this way you're getting Rose back.
Edgar: Yeah, but losing one person for another isn’t a happy ending for anyone involved. I promised you’d be fine, and I really don’t want to break another one of those.
Mari: Edgar, look at me! I will be fine. In fact I'm doing better today than I was, because now I have a chance to save sarah.
[Edgar pauses, thinking about what to respond with, he glances around the room before bringing his focus back to Mari.]
Edgar: I think I’m running out of time… Goodbye, Mari, stay safe. You’ll do great. I hope to see you again someday.
Mari: yeah… Goodbye for now Edgar, stay safe. And yeah, we'll meet again eventually.
Mai: Okay, Times Up Idiots. Edgar Come Over Here And Stand Where Rose Can See You. Also Idk Talk To Her.
[Edgar walks over to where Rose is, fumbling with something in his pocket before opening his mouth to speak, but he hesitates again, trying to think of something to say.]
Edgar: Uh, shit, I don’t actually know what to say here, I’m blanking. Er, hi?
Mai: Yeah She's Not Gonna Respond Right Now, Is There Like Something Rose Enjoyed?
Edgar: Okay first of all, fuck off, Mai. Second of all, yeah, there is. Um. Rose, I listened to the CD you left, it was really good.
Mai: Okay! That Works, I Guess. Oh And Hug Her Trust Me If We Don't Do This Right… Rose Will Fucking Die. And I'm Trying To Be Nice.
[Edgar glares at Mai, then moves closer to Rose to hug her.]
Mai: Okay! Doing The Thing Now!
[Mai begins hitting more buttons as the sound of disconnecting wires can be heard.]
Mai: Try Talking To Her Now! And Then You Have Probably… 3 Minutes Before She Just Starts Bleeding From The Inside.
Edgar: Three fucking minutes? Christ… Uh, hey, Rose, we kinda don’t have a lot of time but, we’re going to get out of here, and you’re going to be okay.
Rose: dad…?
Mari: Oh, and like don't worry about time… I called 911 like 30 minutes ago bro!
Edgar: Jeez, you’re really on top of things, I probably should have left the planning to you in the first place.
Mari: Yeah probably but we don't have a lot of time so um… Goodbye, and get running!
Edgar: Wait, Mai, is the ‘Dead Rose Switch’ still active?
Mai: No, It Stopped Working When The Wires Disconnected, But I Have A Gun Pointed At Mari So Don't Fucking Try Anything.
Edgar: Okay, well, you’re still fucking lame, and I think this would be really funny.
[Edgar lunges for the gun in Mai’s hand and wrenches it out, then takes the hairspray canister and the lighter and lights Mai’s left pant leg on fire, immediately after, he sweeps his leg into the back of Mai’s knees, causing her to fall to the floor. He then grabs Rose and bolts out the office door, flipping her off as he leaves.]
Mai: YOU FUCKER!
Mari: Okay, put your leg out, stupid, and let's get to the point.
[Mai puts her leg out before grabbing a showfall mask off the table.]
Mari: Can I like… hum a song while we do this?
Mai: FINE WHATEVER LET'S JUST END THIS DISASTER.
[Mari begins humming a song recognized as "Goodbye so soon" as Mai gets closer.]
Mai: Any Last Words?
Mari: Yeah, I have two. Fuck You.
[Mai quickly puts the mask on Mari, and they fall to the floor. The song that Mari was humming begins to play over the speakers in the office, and the feed begins to fade to black. But not before the Go-Pro falls to the floor, having slowly been leaning the whole recording.]
Mai: Sleep Well, You Brat.
[End transcript.]
#encoreverse blog#showfall ask blog#((OOC) A quick thank you to the mod of the edgar/mechanic's blog for helping with this!)#((OOC) And thank you viewer's for playing your role perfectly.)
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Netflix's Avatar The Last Airbender thoughts part 1/5)
so... atla live action, huh. after finishing season 1, here are my thoughts in bulletpoint format; it's very long and most of it is spoiler-y, so it's under a cut. (and also in 4 more posts after this). fun fact i spent most of my day writing this, clearly ATLA is very important to me
my general opinion is pretty much "not as bad an adaptation as it could've been but not all that much to see here, on its own OR as an ATLA adaptation"
this is also obviously biased, i'm watching as someone who adores the OG ATLA, but in my comparisons, i'm trying my best to stay away from "they didn't did it the same way = bad" and compare the two in their intentions and execution in what they were trying to do and how they made me feel, but i may fail at that here and there because i have strong feelings.
visuals: this is the easy thing to praise; other than the nighttime scenes, the visuals are pretty well done. i mean... it's a lot of cgi, and it looks like cgi. but, well, i haven't seen big panning shots of fantasy cities done irl since LotR, and i'd be proper shocked if we ever saw them being done again. i thought the cgi was alright, the big shots of the cities were pretty. i really liked the bending as well, it had impact, both the moves and the visual effects of it were reminiscent of the animated show. also also, they did the thing!!! in the siege of the north!!! with the fish and the red and the blue and Yue's eyes!!!! yes yes. made me very happy.
tone: as expected, they went for a darker tone; it's the same fallacy as it always is: making something sadder, edgier and more brutal doesn't actually make it more grown-up. we all know how this one goes, and NATLA is no exception. it's a shame, since one of the greatest strengths of ATLA was that it could maintain a balance of being silly, heartwarming, tragic and epic at the same time. this show does have some great moments of levity, and there is definitely a heart that shines through, despite this being a lot heavier in tone, but it's not quite as well balanced as the OG
starting on "100 years ago": while i'm of the opinion that we didn't really need to see any of this, i think it could've been a great choice if used in the right ways; that is to show how Aang's life used to be joyful and carefree, by showing him having fun with other kids instead of being very much either alone or with Gyatso. as it stands i think they focused a little too much on showing the war itself as opposed to Aang and the airbenders
battle of the air temple: i liked the whole "comet festival" idea - i think it's a good way to explain how basically nobody escaped the genocide. i know the comics also give a good explanation, i'm frankly okay with either. the one thing i didn't love about the battle is what i usually don't love about battle scenes these days, even though it's a small thing: in the beginning we're only shown the airbenders winning and then it's suddenly flipped and it's only the firebenders winning. i wish more battle scenes showed changing odds, like we see both sides winning encounters up to a point and then it starts becoming obvious who's faring better. it's a small point but it would've made the battle far more interesting. it is also a questionable decision to make it a battle specifically, even though we know the air nomads were peaceful people - if Aang is to serve as an example, perhaps to the point of fault. however, this didn't bother me as much as i've seen it bother some other people
Gyatso: i loved him. we saw more of him now than we have before, and i thought he stayed very true to who he was shown to be in the original series. i adored his interactions with Aang. the spirit world stuff was sort of a cop-out; i think i wouldn't have minded it as much if it happened later, but part of the tragedy of what happened during the comet is that Aang doesn't get to talk to anyone he lost, he doesn't get to be told that he's done nothing wrong and be forgiven, he has to forgive himself and process his guilt without being able to talk to the people he's "let down". regardless, Gyatso was a very good mentor figure and the show does a good job of showing just how tragic his loss is to Aang
"we want GoT fans to like this": watching some of the scenes in this first section is ringing "we want fans of game of thrones to enjoy this show" bells, i mean i generally don't mind graphic violence much, i just don't super vibe with it in an ATLA adaptation, and they hold no punches here. also it's so. fucking. dark. in the sense of lighting? hello??? can i see the show i'm trying to watch??? pls??? i lowered the blinds and put my monitor on max brightness and i could still barely see details in nighttime scenes, throughout the whole show. very GoT, good job /s
animal companions: Momo is still nightmare fuel. i'm sorry. he's not cute, he's TERRIFYING. and seeing how he's barely in any scenes, at this point they could've just left him out and spare us the nightmares. tbh Appa has the same problem, but Appa looks much less like a sleep paralysis demon and has more cute moments, even though he's criminally underused.
acting: i'm pretty happy with everyone. i'm not saying they're all putting forth the performances of their lives, but they're all serviceable, i see problems in performance as being more in the exact script and direction than what the actors are doing. my favourite by far though is Ian Ousley's Sokka. very well done young sir, good job!
Sukka: i really enjoy 99% of Sokka and Suki's scenes together, they have a good chemistry, they're both so awkward and clearly have no idea how to talk to each other. however, i hate the little interaction where Sokka is cleaning himself up and Suki is like... creeping on him, idk, that one felt uncomfortable. every time i see a scene like this i kind of consider hey, what would people be saying if the gender roles were reversed? well we all know that. anyway, other than that, i loved watching their awkward teen mutual crush. i also loved watching them fight together against the fire nation soldiers. i actually thought they had more chemistry here than they did in the Kyoshi Island episode in the OG show, i always felt that Suki's interest came out of nowhere at the end of the episode in ATLA, and that they only really hit it off from book 2 onward
the state of the world: i like that there is more of a distrust of strangers in this adaptation - these are people who've lived their entire lives in a war-torn world, used to danger closing in from all sides, they'd be suspicious of any outsiders, and a lot of them would be vary, similar to Suki's mom, to the danger that harbouring the Avatar could bring. i also like how they used the situation to emphasize how Aang is pretty much the only person left who knows what it's like to live in a unified, peaceful world, where people travel and know other cultures
PART 1/5
START // NEXT
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Without warning, the woman walks up to the blonde briskly before slapping him across the face. Hard. A bit harder than a normal human slap, juuust to get her point across.
“You need to watch what the fuck you say. I’m patient and I’ll tolerate you but I will NOT allow boundaries to be stepped over. I’ve been sitting on it for a while because it really rubbed me the wrong fucking way, Francis. The whole ‘emotions don’t matter’ thing. News flash, buddy, YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE STRUGGLING.”
Oh she’s angry.
“At first I let you get it out but I stood my ground staring FACTS to prove to you that what you said is not only wrong, but STUPID. But you HAD to retort and argue with me, insisting that everything you’ve learned is correct AS IF YOU HAVENT LIVED UNDER SOMEONES PALM ALL YOUR LIFE. I’m almost 200 YEARS OLD, Fran, you don’t think I’d have more fucking experience?! I’m trying to heal too. I’m trying to process emotions and accept them. I don’t need your stubborn BULLSHIT being praised in my ear because it hurts. It’s like you’re spitting all over my own progress because you don’t believe in it. I may be a hypocrite sometimes but I’m NO WHERE NEAR as bad as you.”
She stands firmly, giving him a harsh glare.
“This isn’t me leaving, don’t make that mistake. This is me setting my own boundaries and giving you a giant warning that if you don’t shape the fuck up - at LEAST around me and my family - I’ll have no choice but to leave.”
“And I won’t chase you if I do. So either you shape up and come back around if things get to that point, or we go our separate ways.”
Out of all that went on in his life, what he grew to get used to and expect, this he did not see coming. The hard smack on the face was quick to put him in shock as Francis tumbled back with his hand over his cheek. Wide eyed like a deer caught in headlights, for a moment a split moment about to say what one would want to hear. Apologize and try to fix what he messed up on which would then lead to some reconcile fucking or kissing. Took a split second to realize his mess up was towards her and not who he thought. Came out of no where. The hard hit across the face was her. Someone he didn’t expect to do this.
Hearing her but not hearing her, not processing what Mich was saying just yet. Only staring in shock, backing away with a hand over his cheek for several minutes. This was it then? A warning, setting a boundary but might as well be an ultimatum, didn't feel like a warning, more like a threat. It was over, he messed up. Shape the fuck up, Shape up, fix himself How? Around her and her family. Her family. Were her words about him being a part of her family ever true?
Staring wide eyed, shaking, wrapping an arm around himself in an attempt to stop it. He expected this, it was bound to happen eventually so why did it come as a shock. Why did it hurt?
Voice trembling as he spoke, trying to keep a calm tone. Legs felt like jelly, as if In any moment they’d collapse from under him. Felt his breath in his chest, caught but still managed to maintain some composure.
“I'm sorry.. how I see things and how you see things are different. I wasn't arguing with you at the time rather.. It's how view it. How I lived it.. Wasn't trying to invalidate what you said or what you were healing from, progressing. Not arguing or anything of that.. Just talking.. Emotions to me.. It only led to something else."
Wanted to be heard but unsure how to be heard, came out in speaking his views even if they were wrong. How emotions in his world, in his life only led to something bad. Never meant to impose his views on her or force it. It all came from survival, mindset shaped by it but was a problem to others.
"It’s fine... It's fine.. I don’t want to be a hinderance to you or your.. family. I don't know how to change.. shape up.. where to begin and I don't want to make the same mistake by hurting you like this. I'm sorry.. truly I am..."
The words felt like daggers in his chest.
"I don’t expect you to chase me. If it's over then.. Its best to go separate ways than have me do something worse in the future. Than be this dark cloud over you and your family. I never meant to hurt you and I don't want to diminish any progress you're making."
She lived longer. Suffered longer. Did he invalidate her, that wasn't his intention at all. Either way he fucked up. He didn't expect it to last, she gave a choice and one he wished he could change but couldn't trust himself. Don’t follow like some puppy, if its over. Its over.
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Movie Review | The Protector (Glickenhaus, 1985)
After I foolishly get myself psyched up to revisit Rush Hour 2, a figurative hate crime of a movie, I needed something to cleanse the palate. I needed to immerse myself in a Jackie Chan buddy cop movie that was actually good. It was time to revisit... The Protector. Now, the movie's place in Jackie's career might not sound terribly promising. It was the last movie in his initial attempt to break into American cinema, and its financial failure sent him back home for at least a decade. And Jackie didn't see eye to eye with director James Glickenhaus (who he apparently picked to helm the movie after The Exterminator beat out Battle Creek Brawl at the box office). In fact, he hated the experience so much that he went back to Hong Kong and directed what's arguably his best movie and certainly an all time great action film, Police Story. Godard once said the best way to criticize a movie is to make another, and Jackie did exactly that.
Certainly as a star vehicle, it's not terribly effective, in that it doesn't really understand his presence. The affable, goofy demeanour we usually associate with him is nowhere to be seen, replaced instead by an ill-fitting tough guy persona. Apparently he learned his lines phonetically, and that's really obvious as he's unable to put any conviction into his line readings, fumbling dialogue like "Give me the fucking keys!" while struggling to maintain a scowl. At least in the New York scenes. Once the story moves to Hong Kong, his expression is one of amusement, perhaps because he appears to be a bit more in his element. Compared to Battle Creek Brawl, which is on the whole a weaker movie, you get the sense this is trying to fit Jackie into a mold for which he's ill-suited, instead of tailoring the movie to his strengths.
But at the same time, having watched the indifferently choreographed fight scenes in Rush Hour 2, where he's able to do little more than throw in the odd humourous expression as the punches and kicks are flying, the choreography here feels much more in line with his strengths. You can see him making use of any objects within reach, bouncing off the walls, putting his acrobatic and deceptively improvisatory style to great use. (Jackie worked with his usual stunt team, and it shows. Amusingly, Moon Lee has a small role in this, but is told to stay out of the action. This was before she took off as a girls with guns star.) And they fit in surprisingly seamlessly into the gritty, sleazy tone of the movie. The fight scene between Jackie and Bill "Superfoot" Wallace has our hero grabbing all sorts of tools within reach and throwing them at his opponent, and his opponent doing likewise when he introduces a saw into the action. But it also holds its shots for a punishing length, letting you feel every bit of pain and exhaustion felt by the fighters. It's a great fight scene.
And for whatever clunkiness exists in the handling of its hero, this is just a really entertaining movie. The buddy cop dynamic actually works pretty well, largely because the buddy is played by Danny Aiello, who would not be my first choice for such a role but really seems to be having a ball. Shirt opened dangerously low, fondly reminiscing about visiting Hong Kong's red light district during his Vietnam days, getting more excited than any hero in a movie ever has about visiting a massage parlor, running around said massage parlor waving his gun around (not a euphemism; this is rated R, not X), and generally just blasting bad guys left and right with his endless Uzi sprays. (Fans of Glickenhaus' The Soldier will know the director can make great use of that particular weapon.) Glickenhaus keeps the action frequent and bloody, spiced up with some not unwelcome sleaze (naked ladies in the massage parlor and later in the drug smuggling operation; one can imagine an avant garde remix of the movie that's just nude scenes and Danny Aiello firing an Uzi), and with a number of large scale stunts and great location work giving this some degree of extravagance. There is a bit of an exotic travelogue feel in the movie's depiction of Hong Kong, but also a fair amount of grit, and the Hong Kong in this movie doesn't feel all that removed from the pre-cleanup New York that Glickenhaus usually worked in.
So while both the star and the director seemed to have qualms with the finished product, and this is not the best movie the star made that year or even the runner up, the fact is, they're both wrong. It pretty much owns.
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i don’t get if im not getting what happened in this episode or if all that has actually happened in the episode made exactly zero sense??? how the fuck is kinn going to say that he was going to porsche to talk about tawan working for vegas when they have a whole scene with them pointing guns at each other and then kinn doesn’t say shit to him and lets him go without any explanation whatsoever??? and how did a mess like tawan manage to escape the main house with the help of one person alone when the house is supposed to be packed with security (especially considering they are in fact checking if he’s working with vegas as they suspect, so it’s really fucking crucial to keep an eye on him)???? and what kind of stupid shit is kinn talking about with his “i feel like I’m forgetting something” like he didn’t considered out loud the risks pete was going to take infiltrating the minor family??? how are you going to forget the whole reason your half baked potato plan even worked??? AND WHY THE FUCK DID THEY NEED TO KIDNAP PORSCHAY, CONSIDERING PORSCHE WAS ALREADY WITH VEGAS SO IT’S NOT LIKE THEY NEEDED TO LURE HIM SOMEWHERE SOMEHOw?!?!?!?! Honestly im so baffled… nine almost perfect episodes and now im wondering what am I supposed to expect next…
Also:
1) not kinn actually demanding apologies after the whole shitshow was kinda his doing??? The lack of self awareness?????
2) bible’s acting was so fucking good… he manages to be so deranged but also so delicate??? I don’t know, it’s impressive to the point of being creepy
3) im sorry but I don’t get the vegaspete hype
idk, it all made sense to me? i loved this episode.
like, maybe because i am a self-proclaimed kinn girlie, but his choices, though not ideal, made sense for his character and situation.
heads up, my kinn defender cap is firmly ON.
he said he was on his way to talk to porsche, but, at that point, porsche had already been broken out of the cell by vegas, and had had a fight with pete.
what could kinn do at that point? he can't just lock porsche back up like he didn't just do all that and risk making tawan suspicious and fucking up the plan.
also, that again would make him look weak. porsche knowingly left with vegas and attacked his friend (pete) and kinn just what? overlooks that? he has appearances that he must maintain at all times and he's trying his hardest to balance that along with his relationship with porsche.
he's doing what he thinks is best for everyone.
the small thing kinn could do in that moment, before more guards arrive and all hell breaks loose, was lower his gun, showing porsche he trusts him.
and yeah OK, tawan escaping right under their nose was a bad move on their part - but like, there was a lot going on, to be fair, and this dude has cheated death numerous times. i'm sure he can give a few bodyguards the slip.
AGAIN HE'S HAD A BUSY DAY JFHFHDJSJS
yeah no, i did say, has no one remembered that pete had a whole secret mission that was crucial to the entire mission and had not been seen since?
he's not dumb though :( he's relieved to have his lover back with him safe, and mourning the loss of a loyal bodyguard - he's not functioning at full capacity atm.
ummm the kidnapping of chay was clearly all tawan? like vegas explicitly says that wasn't part of the plan. you can see he's pissed when they go to porchse and chay's house and realise he's not there.
tawan is not in his right mind, and he's making rash decisions out of? anger, fear, desperation? decisions vegas definitely NOT ok.
chay was never meant to be there.
1. was he demanding apologies though?? like, i saw that scene as kinn mainly trying to break the ice and get porsche talking to him again. i don't think he actually felt porsche needed to apologise. his tone is playful and his face has a softness to it. he's also trying to explain to porsche in that scene, why he did what he did.
this is just a teeny bit off topic but it's relevant - but kinn has a history and not being able to deal with certain emotions and shutting down. he's not good at saying what he means and feels outright - he needs time to work up to certain interactions. but he says and shows his feelings in other ways. you need to look underneath the surface a little to get his true meaning.
which makes it actually super intriguing that you interpreted that scene so negatively. like, the way some of y'all perceive kinn's actions and reactions is so off i feel.
2. yeah bible is amazing. the way he plays vegas is just, perfect. he's so good at making the way people fall for and trust him so believable whilst also maintaining that unsettling aura he has - so even though his actions seem pure, you just know somethings off with him - is mwah! superb.
like, it'd be so easy to go over the top with vegas, and head into campy comic book villain territory, but bible makes vegas seem like a realistic villain. someone tou could imagine yourself meeting and being drawn in by.
idk like, he's just captivating to watch tbh
3. hm. a controversial opinion.
ok, so i only know about the bare minimum when it comes to novel vegaspete, but what i have heard......i don't like it? or get it?
now, with show vegaspete, with what we have so far? i can see the hype. i can understand it.
that's probably mostly down to how amazing bible & build are (like, i'm honestly just looking forward to the both of them acting their fucking arses off in a scene together). i'm super super intrigued to see how they adapt it.
but, the way some people are like? going so hard for them based on the novel alone has me......just, kinda side eyeing a little ngl.
we'll see what happens with them though. i have a lot of faith in the show, and i think they'll do a really good job.
so yeah, in my opinion - absolutely stellar episode. one of my faves in fact. 🤷🏾♀️
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This is out of nowhere, but I just wanted to say: the show did not do a good job of portraying the Darkling's POV.
Even the books gloss over a lot of details of Grisha persecution. It isn't until the Crows find the burnt corpses in Fjerda that the horror truly sets in, and by that time it's too late because the trilogy is already over. But if I imagine sitting there at the Little Palace, year after year, for over five hundred years, knowing that despite my best efforts people like me are getting burnt alive or tortured or sold as slaves just for the crime of existing, I'd take up some extreme measures too. Four hundred years since the Darkling created the Fold, and nothing has changed for the Grisha, they're just tolerated in Ravka because they are useful. I may not agree with everything the Darkling set out to do, but I can understand his fury and his desire to finish off the wars quickly.
But the show, in particular, fucks it up even worse. I've always maintained that in media, the first impression is the last impression. Our very first introduction to the Grisha is the squaller who challenges Mal. Mal is dragged away by his friends- because at the end of the fight the squaller gets to go to the Healers but he will end up in the 'brig'. The next time we meet them is at their practice arena, where once again, the First Army has to shift their tents to accommodate them. All of this sets a different tone than what one gets by thinking carefully about the books- it makes us feel that the Grisha are the bullies, and the 'poor dear otkaza'tsya' (idk how to spell that) are the underdogs. That one sentence from Fedyor about 'not hiding behind walls' doesn't really cut it to make viewers understand the horror of Grisha persecution. And it makes the Darkling's anger look ridiculous, because we don't feel the rage he might have felt every day. I really can't figure out WHY LB and the show writers try to force down our throats that the Darkling is the 'big bad villain' and Alina is 'pure innocent sunshine uwu'. It's dumb as fuck and just makes me side with the Darkling even more.
I mean it is one of the biggest gripes I have with both the show and the books, that they didn't do enough to show just how bad things were for the grisha and that they kind of just gloss over the grisha's plight and the fact that the darkling is the only one trying to help them. I will always believe that Aleks was a terrible choice as a villain and that the throne or the Apparat or even both together would have made a better true villain for the story. They could even have started out with having the reader think that the darkling was the villain and then in a plot twist revealed that the throne were the true villains, it would have been alot more interesting to me. At least when it comes to the show there is still hope. They might still explore what life is like for the grisha. At least in the show they had the added plot of Nina being kidnapped for being grisha so you got a little more of an idea that things were bad. I do agree that they made the mistake in that first episode of making the grisha seem like bullies, I said it in another post but the problem you have with the show is that we are first shown the grisha as the bullies, then we are shown them happy and living life up in the LP. The only indication we get that the grisha truly are suffering are mostly small moments, like Ivan and Fedyor talking about the high walls for protection, Ivan reading out the list of the dead (which even in that scene is played more to make Ivan seem like a dick and to make you feel sorry for Alina as opposed to the dead grisha), how Nina is treated by her captors and then Aleks' flashback to how the grisha were treated at the time of the creation of the fold. Whilst better than what we got in the books I do still think there is room for improvement and I hope in season two they explore the grisha and their persecution more and that they keep Aleks as a sympathetic figure. I do feel that the show did a better job of showing us how Aleks is motivated by the protection of the grisha. I also really hope they keep Aleks as that complex and sympathetic figure and don't just decide to make him straight up dark villain, to me him being more morally grey and understanding why he is doing these things is more interesting than just the 2d villain he was in the books.
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Showtime
Summary: Housewives in a small town truly have nothing else better to do.
Pairing: Lifeguard!Eren x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Small themes of NSFW
Words: 1.6K
A/N: I saw an ask that I think was from @sleepysnk blog and I couldn't help myself. This one-shot was based on this video. Sorry in advance to her for not asking permission, but I really wanted to write this. I hope you like it!
~~~~~
Summer was a time for new beginnings in a young kid's life. School was out which meant three whole months full of time to make self-improvements. Or to just goof off with friends. During this time of experiencing the blazing sun, the first thing to come to any kid's mind is to be the first to hit the pool.
Not that it mattered who came first. In the small town of Shiganshina, eventually, the community pool would be full of family's trying to cool off from the summer heat. Whether some of the families were there by choice didn't fully matter. Mothers from all over town were dragged by their children regardless of what errands needed to be done.
In the past five summers, that's how it was. Mothers had no reason to come to the pool by choice ever since their eye-candy had left to college out of state. This summer, however, the housewives in-town were less reluctant to the idea of a day at the pool. As kids ran around the pool, ignoring the lifeguard's whistle, and whacked each other with pool noodles. Housewives found other ways to enjoy their time under the hot sun.
Amongst the loud splashing and laughter, a familiar ringtone chimed. This particular ringtone, however, was only familiar to every housewife that had been to the pool since the beginning of summer. The phone the ring was coming from lit up, an alarm displayed on the screen labeled as 'showtime'.
Practically every woman who had been to the pool since summer began had a Pavlovian response when that alarm rang. They all immediately sat up in their chairs, grabbed mirrors to fix their makeup or hair, and relaxed back into whatever sexy stance they could think of.
Out of all the women who waited for the show to start. None of them were nearly as excited as Debbie, whose phone alarm was still ringing. There wasn't much a housewife in Shiganshina had to look forward to. Especially during the summer.
Debbie truly detested summer with a passion as fiery as the sun. School was no more which meant her alone time was over. Three kids were now constantly on her ass with her husband either at work or napping.
She almost bristled at the mere thought of having to deal with them later in the afternoon but maintained her composure. She couldn't afford a single hair out of place. It'd taken her two hours to perfect the look she was going for. The amount of effort couldn't go to waste. Not when she had to compete with seven other housewives for his attention.
"Look alive, ladies," proclaimed Debbie as she readjusted her boobs and put down her sunglasses. "The show is about to begin." She smirked as the current lifeguard began to step down from her tower to switch.
Debbie felt time slow down at the sight of a door opening at the other end of a pool. She was sure the other housewives were feeling it too as they all began to tense in anticipation. If any of their kids were drowning at the moment, none of them would notice. It's not like it mattered considering Mikasa was still watching anyway.
Even if one of them did drown, it wouldn't hurt to watch them being saved by the notorious Eren Yeager. He was the one that currently had every housewife on the edge of their seat. The man was an Adonis in the eyes of every housewife in Shiganshina. The absolute perfect man of their dreams.
When that door fully opened, they all felt the air leave their lungs. His silky brown hair was tied back into a bun with the right amount of fringe framing his face. Abs chiseled to perfection glistened in the sunlight. To top it all of, with a flick of a wrist, he took off his sunglasses to reveal the most gorgeous eyes that suck any woman in.
Debbie could go on and on about Eren. She even bit her lip at the thought of them, together. Having invited him over for dinner as thank you for saving one of her kids from drowning. They would be all alone after she forced the kids into bed early. Her husband would be working late, so, who knows? Anything could happen.
None of the housewives' eyes left him for even a second as he walked to relieve Mikasa of her shift. Some could barely manage to remain composed as he offered a nod and greeted them with a "ladies".
Debbie put on her best sexy pout the moment his eyes were on her. She waited for the inevitable nod and compliment on her new sunglasses only to receive a nod. No compliment.
Her eyes widened and she cast a glance at the other wives. It seems they were suffering from the same thing. It was like that ever since he came back from college out of state.
Debbie's perplexed expression turned to a sneer when she remembered why. Turns out after coming back home to visit his mother, a college education wasn't the only thing he came back home with.
"Eren!"
Speak of the devil and they shall appear. Debbie scoffed under her breath at the sight. You weren't much of a looker in her opinion. Everything about you screamed basic in Debbie's eyes. From your hair to your outfit. But that didn't stop Eren's eyes from lighting up whenever he saw you.
~
You had to be honest, at first, summer in the small town of Shiganshina was boring. The only reason why you were even here was due to Eren's insistent begging. That boredom lasted until he mentioned he had gotten a side job as a lifeguard. The same job he had the summer before he left college. He had mentioned it to you before in passing, but you'd never forget the stories Armin told you of all those housewives who drooled at the sight of him.
The moment the job began you gave him time to settle before you came to ruin it all. The time you spent waiting was worth it. Every housewives' eyes were on you as you confidently strode up to Eren on his lifeguard chair and asked for a kiss. Their faces were to die for, you wished you'd taken a picture. Especially Debbie's.
You knew for a fact she hated your guts. It wasn't like she tried to hide it anyway. She glared at you every chance she got. Which is why you were at the pool visiting Eren again today. You giggled as you glanced back at her while leaning against Eren's lifeguard chair.
"What are you laughing at?"
You looked up to the object of your affections and shook your head. "Nothing," you said innocently while rubbing his knee.
Eren rose a brow, not believing your tone for a second, and followed your previous line of sight. He rolled his eyes when he spotted Debbie waving at him just moments after she finished glaring at you. "Do you have to cause trouble with every housewife you meet?" He teased, shoving your hand away.
You placed a hand on your chest and gasped in mock disbelief. "Me? Cause trouble?" You asked rhetorically, "I would never." You crossed your arms and frowned.
Eren leaned back in his chair, "yeah, okay," he said sarcastically with a scoff.
You scoffed back at him and smacked his thigh, "okay, come on. You have to admit it's pretty funny." You barely held in a laugh at the sight of a whole row of housewives glaring daggers at you.
"Not gonna be funny when they finally poison you," Eren joked while stroking his abused thigh.
You gave him an incredulous look. "Yeah, because I'm dying to eat Debbie's casserole," you said sarcastically. Those housewives had been sending casserole after casserole to Carla's house ever since he came home. You hadn't bothered to eat a single bite of any of them. Neither had Carla.
Eren gave a small wave to Debbie, who was still watching the two of you. "What's with you and Mrs. Carter anyway?" He asked with a raised brow.
"More like what's with Debbie," you corrected, "she's hated me since she figured out I'm your girlfriend."
Eren smirked and leaned back in his chair with his arms behind his head. "Can't blame her, I am a catch." He winked down at you.
You rolled your eyes, "whatever you say, Casanova." You stepped away from the chair. "I'm gonna get going, don't wanna keep distracting you considering they're not gonna save their kids anyway." You gestured to the housewives who had their eyes glued on Eren.
He rose a brow but soon nodded after glancing at the housewives. "You have a point, get outta here." He leaned down to swat your ass.
You punched his leg in response. "Oi, watch your hands, Yeager!" You scolded.
"You know I can't control myself." He smirked and tried to rest his hands on your waist.
You hummed and laughed to yourself. Eren rose a brow at your laugh but said nothing as you stood on your tiptoes to grab him by his whistle. He was frozen as he waited for your next move and spellbound the same way those housewives were with him.
The tips of his ears were hot, you could feel it on your lips as they gently grazed his ear. "Let's hope you'll be able to control yourself until after your shift." You gave his ear a small kiss before pulling away and quickly walking away before he could recover.
You gave him one last look over your shoulder and giggled at the sight of his flushed cheeks. You also gave Debbie a passing glance and waved at her. "Hot day isn't it, Mrs. Carter?" You asked.
You didn't miss the way she attempted to murder you with one look. "Immensely," she said through gritted teeth.
Yeah, summer was a fun time.
#eren x reader#eren x y/n#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot x reader#eren yeager x reader#eren jeager x reader#aot self insert#aot fanfiction
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This semester had been pretty rough, and the semester had finally come close to the finish line. Zeke was not a very smart guy, but he had gotten a full ride powerlifting scholarship to go to his school so he had to maintain at least his 2.5 GPA. Zeke didn't really like school so he always paid the teachers aids to do all his work because if not he would beat them up. Zeke was a pretty intimidating dude because of his 6'3 230lb body. The aids really had no choice but to comply until an incident happened where someone was caught cheating in a big group chat. This caused the teachers aids to stay in the offices of their professors so they all told Zeke that they wouldn't help him anymore. Zeke got pissed off but he couldn't do anything to them. He went online and tweeted out that he needed a tutor who was from his school that could "help" him with his homework. About an hour later he got a direct message from a guy called Kyle. Zeke and Kyle talked a little bit and Kyle suggested that they met at his place so Zeke could be tutored before his finals. Zeke agreed and they planned to meet the next night.
Zeke arrived at Kyle's apartment for them to study and knocked on the apartment door. Zeke wasn't really interested in studying, he just wanted to at least get a C on his finals to pass the classes. Kyle opened the door for Zeke and invited him inside. Kyle had ready prepared some notebooks and grabbed the textbooks Zeke brought and started walking to the living room. Zeke looked at Kyle, a 5 foot 4 dude who was just skin and bones. Kyle also wore these big glasses, what a huge nerd, Zeke thought. Kyle seemed to struggle holding all the big textbooks so Zeke grabbed them off his hands with ease. Kyle thanked Zeke and made an observation about Zeke's strength. Zeke thanked Kyle knowing that he got complemented about his body all the time. Kyle asked Zeke if he could ask a question. Zeke said yes and Kyle asked him if Zeke could help him start working out if he helped Zeke pass his finals. Zeke laughed and said that Kyle could try but it would be hard to get to where he was at, and then Zeke did a double bicep pose showing the 2 large rounds of muscle at the peaks of his biceps. Zeke continued to laugh at Kyle and just said to help him study for his finals or he'd beat him up. Kyle's face scrunched up, then he said that if Zeke wasn't gonna help him get big, he was just gonna have to do it himself. Zeke laughed at Kyle until Kyle reached into his pocket and took out a fistful of dust and blew it into Zeke's face. Zeke closed his eyes and yelled out at Kyle. As Zeke tried to rub his eyes, he immediately collapsed and knocked out.
———
Zeke slowly opened his eyes. He looked around the room to see that he was still in Kyle's apartment. He slowly got up and put his hand on the table as support, but as he got up, he saw that his hands looked small. Zeke looked down at his arms and was frightened! His arms had become string beans! Zeke screamed out but his scream was high pitched, extremely different from his usual tone. He heard the front door click open and someone say "Oh you're finally awake"
Zeke turned around to see who had entered and saw the impossible, he saw himself. Zeke looked at what seemed like an exact body double of who he was what felt like the day before, but instead the person was wearing these big glasses. Zeke was still in shock but managed to get out a single word, "Kyle?!"
The doppelganger laughed at Zeke and said that he was in fact Kyle. Kyle taunted Zeke, asking him "You like what you see little man?" As he flexed his now impressive bicep. Kyle smirked, he said that he'd been watching Zeke all semester. He talked to the teachers aids about helping them with their massive bully problem once and for all. Kyle said that he found a body swapping powder online and got it before agreeing to tutor Zeke. Zeke was appalled, this entire thing was planned. "You're never gonna get away with this" Zeke said. Kyle laughed and said "Who's ever gonna believe you Kyle?"
Zeke's eyes widened up, he still didn't know what he looked like. He ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see a small pale guy who just had skin and bones.
The new Zeke just laughed and took off his shirt. He grabbed his backpack and held his textbooks in one hand and put them inside. "Look Kyle thanks for tutoring me, I think I'll be able to pass my classes and keep my scholarship, I'm gonna head to the gym before my last final"
Zeke smiled at Kyle as he exited Kyle's apartment and laughed as he walked away. Kyle looked at himself in the mirror. He looked so small and pathetic now. It looked like he needed to get a gym membership to try and feel like his old self, but he knew it was never gonna be normal ever again.
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Chapter Thirty-Six: How I Did It - By Jack The Ripper
Rated PG-13: For dark themes and language
Masterlist
~We'll never get free Lamb to the slaughter What you gon' do When there's blood in the water? The price of your greed Is your son and your daughter What you gon' do When there's blood in the water?
Beg me for mercy Admit you were toxic You poisoned me just for Another dollar in your pocket Now I am the violence I am the sickness Won't accept your silence Beg me for forgiveness~
"He's here."
Crossing the Event-Horizon
That's what that's called. I've always thought that's the most beautiful way of putting it. The words have a certain ring to them.
Crossing the Event-Horizon
It means crossing the point of no return. That itself - the point of no return - could mean a lot of things. It could mean the beginning. It could mean the end. It could mean the infinite. It could mean life. It could mean death. It could mean war, peace, happiness, sadness, or anything in between.
But it means one thing for sure.
Crossing the Event-Horizon means there's no going back.
If I had to identify a beginning to the end of my story, then I think that little red dot on the map of time is where I'd stick my proverbial pin. That one little sentence, those two little words.
Yes, it was that moment, I think.
That was when it all started to go wrong.
"Felix is here," I said quietly, "He's outside."
I didn't know what I was going to do to get my revenge from that point. All I knew was, in order to kill Felix, I would need to get to him. And that meant getting away from Jack. Getting away from the son of the devil is something certainly easier said than done.
I would have to do it in a manner which would compel him and the Winchesters to come 'save me'. Of course, I could just knock Jack out and ditch him, but then I would have no back-up if things with Felix went sour. Now, if there was one thing I had learned in the five years leading up to my presence in that lighthouse, it was redundancy. It never hurts to have a safety net. Mine just happened to be a Nephilim.
"You remembered to lock the door, right?" Jack joked. I huffed a laugh. "We're safe in here. Don't worry, Marty. I'll protect you."
Isaac shook his head. "Felix has hostages. Two of 'em." He informed me.
"It's not me I'm worried about," I said to Jack, "This is a hostage situation."
The Nephilim's expression darkened and Isaac rolled his eyes.
"Personally, I say we go on the offensive. I mean, ya boyfriend here has more than enough juice to disintegrate seven dudes, right? Just waltz out there like we own the place, boom, clap, poof, TA-DA!"
"Ya know, that's actually not that bad of a plan," I said, nodding. I relayed the message to Jack who nodded.
"I could do it." He seemed confident.
"Felix brought six helpers. Have you ever dusted that many guys before?" I asked.
"I have, yes. Many more, in fact."
Well, that was... thoroughly disturbing. He seemed so calm about it. As if anyone who stood against him was nothing more than an obstacle. That could be me one day. That could be me tomorrow.
"Alright then, lead the way," I said, smirking.
Is it bad that I hoped something would happen to Jack? Nothing deadly, of course. Just something that would stop him from using his powers to take my revenge for me. Felix was mine. I needed to be the one to kill him. If Jack did it then what had been the point of it all? So, was it bad of me to hope that the quickest, cleanest solution wouldn't be the one that played out?
Was that wrong?
Did that make me evil?
Did I care if it did?
"Everything's going to be fine, Marty. You'll see." And Jack smiled at me softly and I wondered how long that would last.
I found myself standing beside him at the door to the lighthouse. My blood was boiling for a fight because this was it. Felix was on the other side of that door and in a few hours, I would be free, one way or another. Jack turned the handle.
Across the Event-Horizon.
A vampire, a ghost, and a Nephilim stepped out into the muggy night air. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but it was more the beginning of a new era, at least for me. I stayed mostly hidden beside Jack, maintaining my air of powerlessness. Isaac stepped into place at the Nephilim's other side to match. I could feel the heat of Felix's presence bleeding through the space between us. He carried with him the foul stench of burning tar and just his scent made me want to wrinkle my nose.
He stood about ten feet away from Isaac, Jack, and me, flanked by six other vampires. There was no army, not that I had expected there to be - that wasn't how Felix worked. He didn't need an army, he'd brought two hostages. Two humans knelt on the ground in front of each of Felix's lackeys, poised to die.
Felix's lips stretched into something that approximated a smile but his little ruse was transparent. I could see the hate simmering in his eyes.
"This little game of ours has been fun but a score still stands to be settled and its resolution, I do believe, is long overdue. There is no place left for you to run, child. Are you finally ready to face judgment for your crimes, Martina?" He said. A smile spread across my face to match his.
"Are you?" I challenged, leaving all human emotion out of my voice. I had been so afraid of him before, but that fear was in the past. I had come to witness true power, I had seen it up close and Felix Ashton Monroe was nothing in comparison. I wasn't afraid of him anymore.
"I suppose you'll just have to find that out," He said. "Now, I've just had a rather unsavory chat with one Samuel Winchester. Barbarians those boys are - him and his brother. I do so hope you'll remember the manners I taught you and come along like a civilized being."
"Ready when you are," Isaac reported. His Darth Vader figure was tucked safely in my boot and I counted the fact that Felix didn't know about him as one of the few advantages I had. Both Isaac and I knew that in order to keep that advantage my brother would have to suffer through being dragged behind a car via his attachment to the figure to prevent Felix from noticing his presence. We had decided a long time ago that I wouldn't face Felix alone. Isaac had protested against us facing him at all.
It was ironic, really. He was the ghost, yet out of the two of us, I was the vengeful one. See, Isaac had never sought revenge against Felix. The only person Isaac wanted vengeance against was himself. He sought punishment for his failure to keep me safe, to keep any of us safe. I suppose he got his wish. Ever since that night, Isaac remained trapped on earth with what was less of a mission and more of a duty. To keep me alive. If one looked at it properly, that was another advantage. Isaac had been formidable when he was alive, but as a vengeful spirit and with a threat on my life to power him up, Isaac was alarmingly deadly.
I didn't need to send him a discreet nod to acknowledge his words. The two of us had been preparing for this moment for five years. We knew our roles. We knew what we had to do.
"Marty isn't going anywhere with you," Jack cut in, his voice firm.
"You're Jack Kline I presume," Felix said in his usual drawling tone. His voice too reminded me of tar with the way it oozed lazily around his words. Everything about him was so clean and sharp yet somehow it was all horrifically revolting.
"I am, yes." Jack nodded. He was trying to sound confident and authoritative, mimicking Sam or Dean or Castiel. But he wasn't like them, it wasn't in his nature. Jack was too soft. Felix regarded him with a smirk, studying the boy in a calculating manner as if Jack were merely a rare antiquity he was appraising in an effort to determine its value.
"The boy born to rule..." He hummed, drawing out the words almost reverently. "Yer smaller than the rumors describe ye to be."
"So are you," Jack replied, standing up straighter and lifting his chin confidently.
"Oh, I'm afraid not." That slime ball cracked a smile. "I'm much too careful to allow for rumors of my physical appearance to drift beyond my reach."
"Really?" Jack challenged. "Because it seems like Martina found us. She told us everything about you."
Felix just laughed like he was talking to something as insignificant as a flea.
"Do ye never listen, young one? I said I don't allow rumors to drift beyond my reach. Seeing as Martina is standing directly ahead of me, I'd say she is well within my grasp. That which is mine does not escape me, laddie. She knows that better than anyone," Felix said.
"If you're so careful, then why come here yourself?" Jack asked, struggling to remain impassive. He didn't really have a poker face.
"Why, because unlike an amateur I actually quite enjoy getting my hands dirty every now and again. Especially with a vendetta this personal. Isn't that right, Martina?" Felix taunted. "Will you be coming willingly or not?"
"I said you can't have her," The half-angel forcefully growled. Jack pushed me behind him, shielding me from my creator's gaze.
"Is that so? I was unaware you had a choice in the matter," Felix accosted, seemingly amused. "Were your circumstances not clearly implicit in the situation? No? Very well! If you insist against using so much as a modicum of intelligence, I suppose I'll have to explain this situation to you. See, these dirty, pathetic excuses for intelligent life forms you see trembling before you are called humans, dear boy. I hear you're quite fond of them, and today they are playing the role which we in the criminal world usually refer to as the hostage. Now, their miserable little lives are in your hands, Jack. I am a man of my word thus I will gladly release them, alive and well, upon the prompt return of my property. However, I will not hesitate to rip them both to shreds right in front of you if I don't get my way. Do you understand that , boy?"
Jack didn't respond. He appeared torn between protecting me and saving the lives of the hostages.
"Good," Felix droned, "Now, are you ready to leave, Martina dear?"
" You don't get to speak to her ," Jack snarled. His teeth snapped together with an audible click as he threw his arm out in front of me, not quite ready to give up. Felix rolled his eyes.
"Must we really do this the hard way?" He asked, boredom evident in his tone.
"Yes."
Felix tilted his head and his gaze flicked to me. I could see a hint of amusement in his expression.
"Tell me, lassie. Have you kissed him yet?" He chuckled. Then, abruptly, his expression darkened. "Or is he just that stupid? "
"Who says I did anything?" I replied evenly. Felix huffed, rolling his eyes.
"So you have?" He turned his attention to Jack who just seemed confused. "Did you enjoy it, me boy? If you'll recall, I did wish you a very exciting first, did I not?"
"Marty, what's he talking about?" Jack asked, doubt wavering in his voice. I didn't answer him. Felix was taking a chisel to the wall I'd built in that boy's head. Not causing enough damage to send it crumbling, but planting enough doubt for it to hurt even worse when it did.
"Ah, my devious little Martina," Felix sighed, shaking his head dramatically. "You're as predictable as you are appallingly cruel."
"Guess I learned from the best," I hissed, glaring at him.
"Does that mean you'll be sensible?" He asked, raising a brow.
"You're not taking her!" My angel boy yelled. "She's mine. " A shock ran through my bones as Jack's powers ignited and his metaphysical wings spread out in front of me in a terrifying reminder of what he truly was.
Felix didn't flinch. Instead, he chuckled.
"That's cute," He said, gesturing to Jack's massive wings. Then, he straightened the cuffs of his suit and sighed. From out of his pocket he retrieved a box of matches, pulling one out and striking it. He tossed the match lazily in front of him, the reflection of its tiny flame dancing in his eyes.
The match hit the sand and flickering orange flames erupted from where it landed. The fire spread outward in a ring that encompassed the entire lighthouse, trapping me, Jack, and Isaac inside.
Jack hissed through his teeth as he watched the flames die down. They were low enough to pass easily through, so how were they supposed to contain us?
"In case ye can't tell, that there is holy fire," Felix informed, tucking the matches back in his pocket. "Any angel who finds themselves encircled by holy fire is rendered powerless, and if one tries to step through those flames, one will be instantly vaporized." He looked up again, unimpressed. "Don't get smart with me, boy . I am thousands of years your senior. I'll do with that disgusting whore whatever I damn please."
"No, you won't !"Jack yelled. His wings flared out and a blazing golden light poured from him like molten metal. The air buzzed with a divine power that burned my skin from standing so close. He was like sunlight, and it burned. I cowered away but watched in awe as Jack's veins lit beneath his skin as if gold were pumping through them instead of blood. Because that's what Jack Kline was. He was power. With a sudden ferocity, the flames leaped up, roaring around his body in an effort to keep him trapped inside. But Jack did the impossible and stepped beyond the ring with a cry of effort.
Felix did not cower away as his underlings did; he merely tilted his head with slight interest.
"How intriguing," He mused, folding his hands in front of him. "Tell me, lad. How did you manage that?"
Jack glared at Felix, his chest heaving, for I could tell that act had caused him pain.
"I'm not an angel."
Jack raised his hand, poised to snap the monsters all into dust.
"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Felix half-heartedly warned.
"Why not?" The Nephilim ground out.
The vampire smiled coolly. "Because these fine specimens here are not my only hostages." Of course, he had more. He was always prepared.
"Where are the others?" Jack demanded, eyes flaring.
"They're safe and sound, I assure ye. Unless, of course, you try to do somethin' stupid, such as kill me. If that's the case, and I do hope it's not, then my people have orders to do some rather unsavory things to a room full of children." Felix raised a brow, daring Jack to make a move against him.
"I can save them," Jack said, confident.
"Please! Ye don't even know where they are!" He scoffed. "Do what ye must, Jack Kline. But I really do fear for the children." Jack gritted his teeth but said nothing. He knew he was beaten. "That's better." Felix turned his attention to me. "Give up this pitiful act of yours, Martina. Come on out. You know this is checkmate."
I stepped away from Jack and stood tall, allowing the thing that had made me to see the steel in my eyes. I passed Jack and planted myself in front of Felix.
"This isn't checkmate, Monroe. This is merely check. I'll be damned before I walk into something with no way out, you know that better than anyone." My voice was calm and cool and I let it chill him. It was my real voice, not that other one I always used to put people at ease. My real voice was the one that makes people do what I want.
The corner of Felix's mouth twitched up. "Oh, yes. I know." He leaned down, his face merely an inch away from mine. "I'm looking forward to it."
"So, where's the car?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Right this way, m'dear." He gestured towards the dirt road a ways away and started toward it. I began to follow but Jack's voice made me stop.
"You're a monster," He spat, shaking with rage. His pained expression had morphed into one of hatred and his glowing golden eyes fixed on Felix.
Felix twisted around, mildly amused more than anything.
"Empathy, humanity, and morality make you weak, boy. Alas, weakness is a bitch , isn't it?" He smirked, basking in the pain he caused.
"I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!" Jack screamed. His power flared with his anger but there was nothing he could do. The absolute helplessness and hopelessness of his situation finally dawned on him. He never could stand feeling helpless.
"Hold on, I'm confused. Is that not what you do ?" Felix jeered, lifting a brow. Jack froze, his eyes going wide and puppy-like as the vampire's words hit him in the heart. His rage and power dimmed.
"W-What?" Poor thing. His voice sounded so small. He had never been made for this.
"You're the Winchester's attack dog, are ye' not?" Felix clarified. "Playing judge, jury, and executioner for anything you deem a monster."
"You are a monster," Jack scowled, clenching his fists.
"Oh, I know that!" Felix laughed. "But I like to think I've done quite a bit to earn me that title. There are, however, six quite innocent and quite human patients in critical condition at a Manhattan hospital. Six patients, who you put there. Those weren't monsters now, were they?"
Jack's face paled. Sam and Dean had said everyone was fine. Sam and Dean had lied. "H-How did- How did you-"
"That was some stunt you pulled in Times Square, boy," He mused. "Did you really think I wouldn't know about it?"
"Th-that w-was... I-it wasn't... I didn't mean to I-" Jack shook his head in denial. "It was an accident!"
"Why, of course it was!" Felix laughed. "You've not a malicious heart nor the disposition to take an innocent life. Dear boy, you are but a loaded gun for the Winchesters aim at anything they don't like."
Jack shook his head. "T-that's not true! I kill things that are evil because they hurt people." His words sounded hollow like they were something practiced. Like something that had been pounded into him.
"Do ye now? Because as I recall, you killed your own mother and ye' don't even know why. Sad, that." Felix smiled. "You kill because you were bred to; it's your purpose. It's almost cute, the son of the devil thinking he's a hero."
"I am ! I'm a hunter!" Jack insisted.
"You are not a hero," Felix sneered, shaking his head. "You are a murderer, Jack Kline. What else could ya be?" The Scottish man turned on his heel, not caring much to hear what the Nephilim had to say.
"Y-you're wrong. You're wrong about me!" That was all Jack could force out. He tried so hard to keep the tears at bay. I shook my head and turned away from him to follow my creator. "M-Marty?" Jack called out from behind me, his voice laced with desperation and confusion.
I stopped.
In that moment, I finally stripped away the final pieces of the human girl I'd made for him. The girl I'd designed for him to love. Jack would never see her again. That girl was gone now. And good riddance to her; I hoped she'd never come back.
Because she was weak.
And I was not.
Because she was human.
And I was a monster.
Because she was kind.
And I was cruel.
Because she was innocent.
And I was insane.
Because she was honest and grateful.
And I was a deceitful manipulator.
Because she was the blissful mirage.
And I was the horrid reality.
Because she was perfect.
And I never could be.
Because Jack Kline loved that sweet girl.
But that girl wasn't ME.
She never had been.
Of course, I still loved him which only made this harder. But I supposed that in a few hours that would be of no consequence. He wouldn't care. And that fact hurt like a needle to the heart, but pain only brings power to those with nothing left to lose. So, I threw my head back and I laughed as I embraced that pain, just as I did for every other cut and bruise I had ever received. That needle was one in a million and all that pain was what made me real. So, I sighed and turned back to where my angel boy stood, staring at me like some lost puppy.
"I'm sorry, Jack," I said sweetly, "Thanks for getting me this far, I don't think I could have done it without you. Unfortunately, this is something I have to do on my own. This is my last page and nobody can write it for me."
"You can't go," He said, shaking his head. There were tears in his eyes but none in mine. I smiled at him and that was the first he'd seen from me that was real, because, for the first time, Jack was talking to me.
"Why are you worried, Jack?" I was surprised at how smooth and pleasing my own voice sounded, now that I took notice. My real voice was why I was dangerous; when I used it I could make anyone do anything. But there was a reason I had been masking it for so long. It was what had gotten me into this in the first place. "I know you'll come to save me."
"What if I'm too late?" He asked, his voice breaking.
"Then I'll be there waiting for you," I answered.
"You'll die," Jack whispered. I laughed lightly, shaking my head.
"I'm not going to die today, Jack."
"You don't know that!"
"I've known for longer than you think," I said. I watched his teary, desperate expression and copied it to my memory as best as I could. It was the last time he'd look at me that way. At least for a while. "Just do me one last favor?"
"Anything," Jack promised.
"There's a girl you haven't met yet, try not to hate her when you do." I smiled and Jack nodded, trying his best to stay strong.
Then I left him there.
Alone in the sand, he watched a stranger he thought he loved going to what he thought was her death and vowed to save her from it.
Was it wrong for me to deceive him?
Did I care if it was?
***
Sam paced back and forth along the length of the lighthouse as he waited for Dean and Castiel to return. Every few minutes or so he would check his watch anxiously and run a hand through his hair, muttering something unintelligible under his breath before he resumed his pacing.
But Jack wasn't paying attention to that. He was busy staring at his hands. There were too many thoughts racing through his head for him to focus on any one of them. It had all happened so fast and there was nothing he could have done, but it didn't feel that way. Jack felt responsible. Martina was going to die because of him. It was his fault.
It was always his fault.
The door of the Lighthouse burst open, revealing Dean and Cas standing there in the driving rain that had come on before anyone had time to notice. Dean threw himself inside and Cas trailed after him, taking the time to close the lighthouse door while Dean shook the rain off like an oversized dog.
"What took you so long?" Sam was immediately questioning. "Where were you?"
"Gettin' information," Dean smirked. "It took a while, but one of the bloodsuckers squealed. What happened here, Jack?"
"I kissed Martina," Jack blurted out.
"What?" Sam, Dean, and Cas asked in unison, sharing the same disbelieving expression.
Jack hadn't meant to say it but it just sort of came out. It probably wasn't his fault, though. Jack simply couldn't stop thinking about every detail of his time with the girl in the lighthouse. He wanted to focus on what had happened after, but his brain simply wouldn't cooperate.
"I, um... I kissed Martina..." He repeated, somewhat nervously. "And I think I liked it..."
Had he liked it? Jack thought so; he was pretty sure. But something about it felt off.
Why had he kissed her in the first place? What had compelled him to do that? Jack didn't know.
His memories of the kiss were strange. He remembered clearly the emotions he'd felt, and the intensity of them. Yet, for some reason, Jack couldn't seem to recall where those feelings had come from. He had wanted to kiss Martina, but not like that... Or... maybe he had? It felt to Jack as if the decisions he'd made weren't his own. He couldn't even remember making any decisions, really. All he remembered was those feelings and acting on them. Something about that seemed off to him but Jack wasn't sure. He supposed it wasn't that out of the ordinary for him to behave impulsively. On the contrary, he tended to do that quite a lot. So, what was bothering him?
"Wait..." Dean paled, "You and Marty... You- You two didn't, like... do it in a lighthouse, right?"
Jack tilted his head, brows furrowing. "Do what?"
"C-Cas?" Dean's face whitened another shade as he turned to the seraph. "Please tell me your son didn't-" Castiel gave a long-suffering sigh.
"No, Dean. I really don't think they did anything," He said, rolling his eyes.
"Not everyone is like you," Sam added. Dean waved him off.
"Yeah, okay, but why am I the only one gettin' weirded out by this?" He exclaimed.
"Because we have bigger problems, Dean!" Sam pointed out, exasperated. Sam seemed anxious and Jack wondered what he wanted to tell them.
"Well, I think this is pretty big!" Dean insisted, turning to Jack. "Dude, what the hell?"
"I don't understand what you mean. Martina and I kissed." Jack said simply.
"Dean, seriously. I-" Sam tried. Dean held up a hand, sighing.
Dean sighed. "Jack... Y-You don't do that."
"Dean! Listen-"
"Not now, Sam!" Dean cut him off again.
"Why not? Jack asked, frowning.
"Look, ya just- Ya gotta wait a little while, man!" Dean said, running a hand over his face. "I mean, Marty's like, twelve!" He insisted. By then, Sam had decided he'd had it.
"No, Dean! She's really not!" The younger Winchester yelled, throwing his hands in the air.
"What?" Dean was shocked by his brother's sudden outburst. Sam took a deep breath to calm himself now that he had everyone's attention.
"Martina's not as young as we think she is. I-I think she's older, m-much older." Sam said, stress leaking into his tone.
"What are you saying, Sam?" Cas asked.
"I'm saying we've been played."
***
The car ride was smooth and it was the first time I'd been in a limo, so naturally, I took the comforts offered me. I stretched out across the seat, lounging as I stared out the tinted window. I didn't worry about Felix sitting directly across from me. I knew he didn't want to kill me. Not yet anyway.
"I'm curious, how did you manage to fool them?" He asked, watching me with a comfortable expression.
I shrugged. "Long story, lots of boring details."
"Indulge me," He insisted.
"Why should I?" I asked. He shrugged, mimicking me.
"I'm simply curious."
I hummed. "I bet you are."
He smirked. "Well, what can I say? It's just my nature." I nodded vaguely, continuing to stare out the window. We both knew how this would end. There was no real reason not to tell him.
"Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester and the angel Castiel..." I said their names thoughtfully, allowing the corner of my lips to twitch up into a sly smile. "They seem so simple at first glance. You have the poor unfortunate soul who lost so much yet kept his kindness, the perfect killer who spent his whole life at war, and the fallen angel who found a home. But if that was all there was then I never would have fooled them. However, for men who claim to be so faithless, there's so much they want to believe in."
"Whot do ye mean?" Felix asked, tilting his head. I smirked lazily. T
"I'll start with Sam. Sam is kind because he's damaged, but the last thing he is is a fool. When someone's good at unraveling lies, the last thing you do is give them a really big one to unravel. If you do that, then they'll cut right through and they'll figure you out easily. So, what do you do? You give them distractions. Hide puzzles within puzzles and Sam will stop to solve each one because he loves it. But how do you get him to ignore the big picture?" I stopped and grinned.
"It's easy really. All I had to do was appeal to his hate. Sam Winchester is so extraordinarily full of such raw and powerful hate, that if you simply aim it at a conceivable target, he can ignore anything else. And of course, with his hate blinding him to the truth, Sam can't figure out the lie. All one has to do to fool Sam is give him a puzzle to solve and something to hate.
"So, I made him hate you."
***
"How?" Castiel asked, tilting his head.
"It's Marty. We can't trust her," Sam said. Dean scoffed
"After all that lecturing earlier? Why the hell not?" He demanded. Sam took a nervous breath.
"Because she's been lying to us, Dean," He said. "I-I think she's been lying to us this whole time."
Dean's jaw clenched and he crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you talking about, Sam?" His voice was tight and guarded.
"I talked to Felix after I saved the little girl," Sam admitted.
"You just stood there and talked to that son of a bitch! He's a sick, messed up, psychopath! Sam, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Dean yelled. Sam held out his hands in a peacemaking gesture.
"I know w-what he is, Dean. A-and, believe me, I thought the same things you are now and I swear it was over the phone a-and all he did w-was tell me things. But-" Sam hissed through his teeth and tugged at his hair, seemingly at war with himself.
"But what, Sam?"
"I don't know. He- he just-"
"You don't know?!" Dean interrupted accusingly.
"H-He said things, alright! Felix told me things. Things about Marty. A-and they- they made - They just made so much sense! And I hate him just as much as you do and I don't wanna believe him but-" Sam's voice faltered and he shook his head seeming lost.
"What did he tell you?" Castiel pressed, gentle but still firm.
"He told me Martina killed his wife."
***
"Now, Dean? Dean's a little harder," I said as the driver made a sharp left-hand turn. "Dean's not just a hardened killer, though that's mostly what he wants people to see. He wants people to see the machine without a heart so no one will see how horrifically broken he really is." Thinking of what Dean was really like made me laugh and I flicked my gaze at Felix. "And believe me when I say that there's nothing that could fix him by now."
"But there's so much more to him than the killer and the brokenness. Dean's the righteous man who's never known a day away from war. There are so many things he wants so desperately. Dean dreams of walking peacefully along a beach yet he's never even been to one. For all he's never had Dean tries to give it to others. For all the blood and death he's seen he's remarkably full of love. Love is the key, really. Dean Winchester loves more powerfully than anyone I've ever met. If Dean loves someone he'll do anything for them.
"He sees my age and sees in me the child he never was. He sees me afraid and wants to provide me the protection no one gave him. He sees me flinch when someone yells and wants to offer me the security he never knew. He sees an orphan and wants to give me the parental love he never had. All one has to do to fool Dean Winchester is give him a child to love.
"So, I made him love me."
***
"And you believed him?" Dean scoffed. "Marty is a kid, Sam! She's a kid! Just a scared kid who needs our protection! Marty never could have done something like that."
"Why not?" Cas spoke up. All eyes snapped to the angel.
"BECAUSE SHE'S A KID!" Dean roared. Jack flinched away from him, he'd always hated when Dean yelled. It scared him. Though, this time Dean sounded less angry and more desperate. As if there was something he didn't want to believe. As if yelling the words would make them true.
"T-that's what I thought too. But what if we're wrong?" Sam asked.
"How could we be wrong?" Dean demanded.
"What if Marty's not a kid?" Sam carefully spoke, "What if she's not human?"
Dean shook his head. "No," He said, "No, you're wrong. I know what you're thinkin' and you're wrong." Jack shook his head too. There was no way... was there? Something itched at the back of his mind. He didn't know what it was. Did he want to?
"Dean, I know this is hard to accept, but we need to think this through," Sam said, holding his hands out beseechingly.
"We don't have time for that!" Jack spoke up. "Felix is going to kill Marty! We can't just let her die!"
Sam held up a hand. "He's not gonna kill her, not for a while. We have time."
"No, you don't get it! I promised I'd save her!" Jack said.
"Exactly!" Sam pointed out. "Jack, that's exactly what she wants! She's been planning this the whole time."
"What do you mean 'the whole time'?" Dean inquired, crossing his arms.
"Think back to the beginning, w-when we first met Marty," Sam said, walking them through it. "Why were we in Copper Harbor?"
"For a ghost hunt," Jack answered, impatience leaking through his tone.
"You're right, but there was another case there. What was it?"
"Blood was being stolen from the hospital..." Cas said slowly as if remembering.
"Exactly! Exactly." Sam took a breath. "Now, that ghost in the viral video, who was it? Was it whoever's bones we burned?"
"No, it was..." Jack made the connection. Why hadn't he noticed that before? "It was Isaac."
"Okay, so that means..." He trailed off.
"That Marty was lying about the hunt and the bones," Cas finished.
"Right, now why would she do that?"
"I dunno, professor. Maybe so we wouldn't torch her brother?" Dean rolled his eyes.
Sam pursed his lips, sighing. "Well, yes, b-but no! This isn't about Isaac, this is about Marty. What would she have been hiding?"
"The blood theft," Cas said decisively. Dean shook his head.
"That's a coincidence. Marty can't be - She can't-" He couldn't even say it. He could hardly think it. "Marty can't be a vampire."
***
"Castiel was harder," I continued. "Aside from the fact that he's a multi-billion-year-old cosmic being, Castiel also lacks a soul. That made tapping into his emotions significantly more difficult, but once I did that it was quite clear that I could never fool him. At least, not directly. He's intelligent, not easily deceived, and he always tries to do what he thinks is best. Whatever that course of action might be, more often than not, it hasn't been the right one.
"Castiel is, primarily, a screw-up. There's a lot of history and even more drama involving his fellow angels and the Winchesters, and he has consistently attempted to fight for both sides of the war between them. His torn loyalties have caused a great many more problems than they've fixed and it seems as though any attempt to fix one of said problems breeds yet more chaos. Castiel is rebellious. He can never seem to do what he's supposed to. So, naturally, that makes him the most dangerous piece on the board.
"When Castiel sets his mind on something, there isn't much that can sway him. His actions have proven, repeatedly I might add, that he is even willing to go behind the backs of the Winchesters if he believes it's for the greater good. But his destructive pattern stops only for the one person he's never betrayed. Thus, to fool Castiel one has to fool his son.
"So, I got my hands on Jack."
***
"Why not?" Cas snapped.
"'Cause she just can't!" Dean's voice broke.
"She single-handedly killed five vampires, Dean! Remember?" Cas pressed. "There's no way a mere child her age could have done that."
Jack shook his head, refusing to believe it. "Marty can't be a vampire. Dad, she just can't be."
Castiel sighed, his eyes soft. "I know you want to believe that."
"Why shouldn't we?" Dean challenged.
"Because she killed five vampires single handedly! What part of that escapes your understanding?!" Cas repeated with frustration.
"We don't know what happened in there!" Dean persisted.
"Exactly! WE DON'T KNOW!" Cas yelled.
"THEN WE CAN'T ACCUSE, CAN WE?" Dean shouted back. Jack flinched again and Cas took notice, forcibly relaxing his posture in hopes of reassuring his son.
Sam groaned. "Look at the facts, Dean. The research!"
"Damn the research, Sammy! This is Marty! We know her!"
"We know she's an empath!" Sam spat. "She's been playing with all our emotions, we know that! We need to look at this objectively and, as hard as that might be, it means looking at the facts!"
"What about the facts?" Dean asked reluctantly.
"Think about it," The younger brother said. "W-we did the research, remember? Remember how none of it lined up?"
"Yeah, because Felix messed with it!" Dean tried.
"Not all of it," Sam pointed out, "Marty said she was nine when she died, but her youngest brother was ten. Remember that? How could she have been younger than her youngest sibling?"
"Sam, that-"
"Because she wasn't, Dean," He hissed, "She wasn't nine. Marty was sixteen."
"I-I remember..." Dean froze, his eyes flicking up to meet his brother. "Sammy..." He said, his voice tense and shaking, "How did I forget that?"
Dread coated Castiel's tone as he answered instead.
"I think she wanted us to."
***
"Jack is a very special boy," I said, sarcasm lacing my tone. "Although, he is the offspring of a fallen archangel, so I'd assume that 'special' comes rather naturally. Thanks for that clue, by the way. It would have taken me much longer to figure him out if it wasn't for that itty bitty little detail."
"You would have gotten it regardless." Felix shrugged.
"Of course I would've!" I snorted, shaking my head. "I didn't think my abilities were of any question."
"They weren't," Felix replied. "I know what you're capable of, lassie."
I smirked devilishly. "You should." Felix's hand clenched into a fist and he sent me a tight smile.
"Indeed." He forced the word through his teeth. "Which is why I'm surprised you enlisted to lie to that boy so completely. Doesn't that violate whatever moral code of Donoghue's it is that you've adopted?" I nodded and shrugged with a sigh.
"You're right, it does. Jack is in many senses young and vulnerable and on top of that, he's dreadfully naïve. He could never deserve what I did to him." I huffed out a humorless laugh as my face twisted into a sneer. "But you do. So I made an exception."
Felix shook his head as if disappointed. "Now, now, Martina. When one has a goal, one does not make exceptions. Lest they desire to fail, of course. Only hypocrites make exceptions. Did I teach you nothing?"
"I'm not like you," I spat.
"Is that what it looks like from where you sit?" He mused quietly. I flashed him a barred toothed grin and continued.
"There's only one that Jack Kline truly wants in this world. He wants to be good - to prove to himself and those around him that despite his parentage, he can be good. He's been told that there's something wrong with him, so he wants to find a way to somehow purge it. But he can't because there's nothing wrong and there never was. Yet, he can't believe that. So it leaves him with an insatiable desire to please.
"It's pathetic, really. He seeks validation in everything. He thinks he has to be useful to be loved. Otherwise, he's just a burden, one that nobody wanted. Jack doesn't want to believe that; he wants to be told that isn't true. Jack Kline may be powerful but he's also soft - moldable if you will. See, he's so haplessly needy that it's honestly sickening. He'll do anything for you to tell him what he wants to hear. And he'll do anything to keep hearing it.
"Jack is a combination of his three guardians. He's desperate. Like Dean, he doesn't want to see what's right in front of him. But he's not stupid. I had to erase his memory more than once. Then, like Sam, I simply distracted him and, much like Castiel, I had to keep him in line by appealing to that insatiable need of his. To fool Jack Kline one has to give him someone to save.
"He thinks he's saving me." I smiled fondly when I'd finished, glancing up at Felix with a challenge in my gaze.
"Well, we both know that's impossible," He said, eyeing me with a smirk, "There's nothing left in that cold shell of yours worth saving." I grinned, showing him the insane thing he'd created.
"You're damn right."
***
Then, like a memory, there were words running through Jack's head. Words and voices, but he didn't remember hearing them.
'You said you were nine then! But y-you - you weren't!' That was his voice in his ears. But Jack couldn't remember saying those words. 'You haven't aged a day... Five years and you haven't aged a day.'
'I aged about a month, actually.'
The other voice was Marty. The words buzzed like static, making his headache. Jack shook his head. It was like Deja Vue but entirely more vivid. Sam, Dean, and Cas kept talking. It was hard to hear them through the ringing in his ears.
"Cas, are you saying she can wipe memories?" Dean asked.
"I'm not sure," Castiel replied, shaking his head. "But she can certainly suppress them."
"But it-it must only work when she's around b-because when she's gone - I know for me - When Marty's not around I-I start to remember," Sam said.
The ringing in Jack's ears intensified, making him groan and grasp at his head. He clamped his hands over his ears but the ringing only grew louder. It was like angel radio, but instead of being surrounded by fire, Jack felt like he was burning from the inside out.
"Jack?" Cas was calling his name. "What's going on?"
"I-I don't- I-" Jack gasped, the pain growing stronger. "It hurts! Dad, please make it stop!"
"Jack? JACK!"
He stumbled into Cas's arms as another blurred memory hit him like a train.
'I'm gonna need you to forget that,' Marty's voice whispered in his head. She sounded so gentle, so inviting. She sounded like a spider.
'I wish I could,' His own voice shook as Jack listened to himself say words he couldn't remember speaking. It felt like a memory that didn't belong to him.
There was more to it this time. There was a picture frame, but the picture inside was out of focus. There was an image. It was Martina. She had fangs. And there was something else too. Jack could feel it like a phantom pain. It was terror. The paralyzing kind. The feeling of being trapped. Jack felt the shadow of limbs and he couldn't move. He was trapped. Jack couldn't get out. He was trapped like a fly in a web. Marty was the spider. He couldn't get away. He couldn't get away from her.
She wouldn't let him.
'I can make you forget,' She was going to hurt him. ' Take us back to the night we met. '
'What do you mean?' His voice asked cautiously. He was scared. He was so scared. He couldn't get out.
'I'm going to talk to you, and then you're going to forget, and everything will be back to the way it was.'
'You're a monster.' He'd said
The ringing in Jack's ears faded and he bolted upright, gasping and shaking as panic set in. He needed to tell Sam, Dean, and Castiel what he'd remembered but he couldn't seem to find the words.
"S-She lied." That was all he could force out.
"Jack, what happened? Are you okay?" Castiel worried, checking over him. Jack just shook his head.
"She did something to me," He choked out, shaking. "I don't know. I can't remember. Why can't I remember? She did something to me!" He felt sick. There was something wrong with him.
No.
There was something wrong with Marty.
She was sick.
"What? What did she do?" Dean demanded, eyes wide.
"She-She made me forget. I knew. I-I knew and she made me forget!"
"Forget what?" Sam asked.
"I figured her out a-and she made me forget but I remembered." Jack stopped and only then did he realize he was crying. "She's one of them."
Because she had betrayed him. Marty had betrayed all of them. Jack didn't even know what to believe anymore. Had any of it been real? Or was it all some twisted lie?
"I'm sorry, Jack," Cas offered quietly.
"You were right, Sam," Jack whispered. He couldn't stop his voice from shattering. "Martina is a monster. A-And she lied."
There was silence for a moment. Then, Dean spoke up. Because someone had to take the lead and it was always him. It wasn't fair, but it was always him.
"We gotta go," He said, struggling to make his voice sound cold and firm. But he'd lost a daughter today.
"W-Where?" Sam asked.
"Me and Cas know where Felix is taking Marty. That kid's got some answering to do," Dean answered, his green eyes darkening with his tone. Castiel stood, helping Jack climb to his feet.
"Martina is dangerous, Dean. Are you sure you're willing to do what may be necessary?" Cas asked, watching Dean with a somber expression.
"It's not gonna come to that," Dean said.
"And if it does?"
"I will." Jack's voice was quiet but it caught the adult's attention.
"Jack, are you- Are you really sure?" Cas asked gently. Jack shook his head.
"I don't want to kill Martina. But you're right, she is dangerous." His voice faltered. "I can't let her hurt anybody else."
***
Felix's limo pulled into the garage of what was easily a multi-million dollar home. It was four stories and it reminded me of a castle with its dull grey stone and tall windows. The interior of the garage was constructed simply of polished cement and was entirely empty aside from the car now parked within it. I sent Felix a smirk and climbed from the vehicle, slamming the door shut behind me. The car was surrounded. Twenty or so of Felix's vamps stood guard but I knew they were more for display than anything else. Some of them I recognized, some I didn't.
"And here I thought this little girl's night was just gonna be you and me," I huffed dramatically upon seeing them, "You had me feeling all special."
"Sorry to disappoint, Lassie," Felix drawled. "But don't worry, I invited some of your friends too. Well, just one to be exact."
I shot him a curious glance but shrugged before sauntering my way past Felix's lackeys like I owned the place. I supposed I had, but that was so long ago. Were his minions really still so afraid of me? I surveyed one of the vamps as I passed him, taking notice of the bead of sweat dripping down his neck. He was clearly terrified.
So, they remembered who their queen was. Good.
Spinning on my toe like a ballerina, I let a bubbling laugh escape my throat. All of Felix's soldiers turned to face me, watching with careful eyes.
"Hello, Lovelies!" I called, grinning. A few of them shifted nervously. "Just thought you all should know, both your beloved Prince and Princess are dead! I killed them!" Murmurs spread around the empty garage, echoing off the polished grey walls. "That's right! Boyd's head I ripped off with a tractor, though I'm sure your leader was glad to finally be rid of his bastard son." I glanced at Felix who stood there stoically and winked. "I knew about that, by the way. As for Elwyn, I had the Devil's son snap her into dust like Peter Parker in Infinity War. 'Cept she ain't comin' back!" I giggled in reaction to the horrified expressions of Felix's soldiers and send the man himself a smirk before whipping around again.
"Ye know, Martina?" His voice made me pause though I kept my back to him. "I look at you and I don't see anyone looking back..." He trailed off, his tone thoughtful. "Where is that soul you used to have?"
"Just like I told your daughter, I lost it in the woods in favor of something else. You wanted me to learn something and I learned it!" I eyed him over my shoulder. "You never should have sent me there."
"I know that now." Felix sounded almost solemn. "Whatever Sampson brought back with him wasn't the girl I tossed in, was it?"
I shrugged. "That's where you're wrong. It's still me. Like I said, I just learned something over there is all."
"And what did you learn?" He wondered.
"That you were wrong."
"It doesn't seem I was," He said. I chuckled softly.
"You said I was made to be a queen. You were wrong."
"Aye?"
"I'm not a queen, Monroe." I turned to face him. "I'm a damn Empress." I grinned. "And, honey, you should see me in your crown."
I didn't bother to watch his expression. I just turned and walked.
Pushing my way through the garage door, I skipped down a long, dark hallway decorated with dark wooden pieces that I was sure had cost more money than they were worth. I smirked upon hearing Felix's footsteps trailing behind me. Whirling around and walking backward, I grinned at my former torturer.
"Got anything you didn't wanna say in front of your minions?" I taunted.
"I do, actually." He huffed a laugh that held no humor. "For the record, I'm sorry."
My expression soured. "No you're not."
"I am, truly." He placed his hand over his heart in a gesture of sincerity. "I apologize for my greed and my stupidity. I unleashed you upon this world; that will be my greatest regret, I think. I made you into a plague and I lost control over you."
"You never controlled me," I hissed.
"And I the second I realized that I should have put you down," Felix said. "I just hope the Winchester's don't make the same mistake."
I shook my head. "That's the think, Felix. They will."
"Perhaps. Perhaps not." He shrugged.
"I guess I'll find out, won't I? So! Where's this friend of mine?" I asked, rubbing my hands together.
"Two doors down on your right," Felix answered. I glanced at the door he was referring to then back to him.
"Ooh, goodie. Before I open it, why do I get a present?"
Felix shrugged. "Call it a joke."
I nodded. "Dope."
Then I skipped over to the dark wooden door and grasped the handle. It wasn't locked, of course, so I pulled it open. I didn't look for traps. I knew Felix would never stoop that low. The room was pitch black and there were no windows, but I found the light switch easily enough. Bright fluorescent bulbs flicked on and washed the space with light.
Sitting on a wooden chair in the middle of the room, was a rather muscular man. His arms and legs were tied to the chair and his head was tilted down. I may not have been able to see his face, but I would have recognized that old, grungy cap almost anywhere. I crossed the space between us and tapped him on the shoulder. The man inclined his head, squinting against the light, but when he caught a glance of my face, his usually bright eyes filled with terror.
I had forgotten how fun it was to instill that level of fear. I smirked.
"Hey there, Benny! I haven't seen you since the Hunger Games!"
~We'll never get free Lamb to the slaughter What you gon' do When there's blood in the water? The price of your greed Is your son and your daughter What you gon' do When there's blood in the water?
Beg me for mercy Admit you were toxic You poisoned me just for Another dollar in your pocket Now I am the violence I am the sickness Won't accept your silence Beg me for forgiveness~
Lyrics from: Blood In The Water by grandson
#jack kline x oc#jack kline#jack kline fanfiction#jack kline x reader#spn#spn fanfiction#superntural#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#alexander calvert#alex calvert#jensen ackles#jared padalecki#jack is baby#jack kline humor#jack kline fluff#fluff#my name is cas and i write stuff#fanfic#thanks for reading#have a nice day#misha collins#angst#just angst
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Oh so I have to feel sorry for the person who ruined all my relationships with other people so I wouldn't leave then, spread lies about me so I wouldn't have a support system, gave me a fucking EATING DISORDER, and destroyed my school laptop just because they're uwu mentally ill and traumatized? Guess what sweetie being traumatized doesn't mean you fucking get to traumatize others. I see this monster, this good for nothing worthless inhuman MONSTER in Amber and I'm sick of all your gaslighting
That's not what I was trying to say but I'm genuinely sorry it came across that way.
Abusers are monsters and no one is obligated to feel sorry for them -- especially not the people they've victimized.
What I want to clarify my meaning on is that there's a difference between saying "this specific person" or "this specific set of behaviors this person did" are monstrous (which again, I agree with you on that part) vs. "all people who share a diagnosis with this person."
Abusers made a decision to be abusive assholes. They decided they were entitled to abuse somebody and all the patterns of behavior that entailed. I have no interest in framing it as something out of their control, as a mental illness is.
In many cases, abusers who have been diagnosed with mental illnesses use their illness as an excuse. But that's bullshit; no mental illness makes someone abusive, and implying otherwise is ableist of them. My abuser used to use his anxiety and depression against me in that way, using them to say he couldn't help it, to gaslight me, and to guilt trip me. But he didn't do those things because he has anxiety and depression. He did those things because he's an abuser, and abusers will look for any shield to hide behind.
And definitely, being traumatized does not excuse traumatizing others. I am with you on this, as I loathe it when people's first response to an abuser is "well uwu did they have an abusive childhood?" or similar because nope, that's no excuse. In fact in some ways that makes it worse to me because they know exactly how awful and helpless abuse makes someone feel yet still decided to treat somebody that way.
But not all people with BPD are going to traumatize others. I maintain that. You encountered someone who did and that never should have happened to you, you did not deserve that. That person is every bit the monster you've described, for choosing to abuse you. Nothing excuses that behavior. Again, I'm so sorry that it ever came across that I think otherwise. I only believe that their choices were individual and are not reflective of all people with BPD.
I can't speak to why AH reminds you of your abuser. JD reminds me of my abuser so I do understand what you're saying and why that makes it feel deeply personal even though we don't know either celeb personally. But I'll speak for myself here and say, I recognize that not everybody who reminds me of my abuser is actually an abuser. For me seeing that connection isn't what makes me believe JD is the abuser.
Please take care of yourself anon -- I say that genuinely, I know tone is hard to pick up online. This case is very triggering for many survivors, especially with it being so hard to avoid. I'm concerned that you seem to be continuing to read my blog despite that it sounds like it's really triggering for you. Please feel free to block me if you need to. I know I've made a point to engage mostly with primary sources specifically so that I can see both sides while still mostly avoiding the hot takes I sometimes see on social media that can be very triggering, so I say that from a place of "I've been there," not trying to be condescending.
#answered#ableism//#i considered whether to post this but i#really felt it was important to speak to#potentially triggering asks//
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"on that april day."
pairings: tetsurou kuroo x reader
genre: fluff
note: school starts in april for japan, and i thought i'd make a fanfiction about the day before school starts for tetsurou and you, as the reader!
a/n: this is my first time writing a short fanficition like this! if there are any suggestions on how i can improve, please please PLEASE let me know!
you've always been a ball of sunshine, running around like a cat at play when days are well. no matter if it's raining or cloudy, you'd always manage to find a way to light up the world.
she's not lively, kuroo would note to himself when it comes to thinking about the choice of words to describe you.
she's radiant.
she's the sun to the solar system.
she's the greatest star.
she's radiant.
in this particular morning, however, you wake up later than usual. it gets so late that kuroo has come into your apartment room to wake you up.
"oi, (y/n), time to wake up," he beckons, shaking you on your sheet-covered shoulder.
after a few more shakes, you finally manage to get shaken awake. reluctantly, you lift yourself up from your warm covers and rub your eyes sleepily.
"how long have i've been asleep?" you mumble in a tired tone, but distinct enough for kuroo to understand.
"it's past 8 in the morning already," he replies, not pleased with you sleeping in.
instead of panicking about the time, you return to your comfy covers.
"just 5 more minutes, tetsu..."
kuroo doesn't take that as an excuse. he uncovers your blankets and pulls you up, looking at your face and your clothing. swollen dark bags are visible under your eyes and you are still in your casual outdoor clothing from yesterday. he inhales for a few seconds, closing his eyes slowly before opening them back up while exhaling.
"i knew it. something happened."
"no, nothing happened, okay?" you reassure, putting a smile onto your lips.
but, kuroo doesn't buy it.
"no need to deny it. you're obviously hiding something."
you notice that kuroo is serious. he isn't wearing that playful smirk he usually does, but it's a stern frown that covers his features.
that frown can only be described as not scary, but intimidating. it's the first time he's ever been that serious towards you.
the two of you keep staring at each other for a good long while. you finally sigh and shift your position to the side of the bed, letting your legs dangle off the edge. without invitation, kuroo sits right beside you. his warmth calms you, encouraging you to spill the truth.
"i can keep up the silence all day since the folks say peace and quiet considered therapy," you say, trying to fill up the atmosphere with a bit of humor.
kuroo's lips curl into a smile, so you take that as a win.
"but that'd just haul up your and my time, so might as well just spill it."
there's a pause of silence as you try to regain your thoughts in order to convey your feelings.
"yesterday, i didn't sleep well. and it normally doesn't happen to me. but i was worried about tomorrow, like after today. you're all grown up, and i can't believe you're already going to college after all this time..."
a sharp inhale of breath interrupts your words, followed by a small tear rolling down your cheek.
"(y/n)-"
kuroo is taken aback by your reaction and his face becomes twisted with worry.
you're never the type to cry in front of others.
you continue to speak, unable to hold back the trembling and cracking of your voice in between.
"i thought that i can survive my third year without you during my two years in high school. but, yesterday, after i thought it through, i was doubtful about that..."
your speech gets swallowed up by your sobs, which are increasing in volume by every second.
"breathe, (y/n)," he tells you, patting your back in a friendly way.
you nod and begin sniffing away the sadness. soon, the tears stop streaming that much, but you're still crying a little.
unexpectedly, kuroo pulls you into a gentle embrace, enveloping his warmth around you. although surprised, you slowly wrap your arms around his back in response and bury your head into his shoulder. you can smell the faint scent of the cedarwood soap he uses to shower, but everything else smells exactly like kuroo.
"(y/n), you're a strong and tough girl. don't let that get you down, okay?" kuroo whispers in your ear in a soothing way, patting your head lightly.
after a while, the two of you pull apart from the hug, revealing a wet circle on his grey shirt and your tear-stained face. he gently caresses your cheek with that big hand of his and wipes away the remaining tears with his thumb.
"i know we're very good friends, but we have to be separated sometime in life. but, it's not forever."
he suddenly pauses, and the next thing you know catches you off guard.
as abruptly as it may seem, kuroo pulls you back in, brushing his lips against yours before pressing you with great certainty.
a warm feeling rushes inside you. it felt like it was mixed with reassurance, comfort, and another feeling you are unable to make out.
it isn't until after a few seconds that he leans back from the kiss and smiles genuinely at you.
"i want you to know that i love you. even if we're not together, we're still connected in a way that's unbreakable. so, i want you to endure your last year in nekoma. it may seem long, but you will get over with it eventually, okay?"
your face was originally in a shocked expression with a slight red tint dusted on your cheeks. however, those words make you feel much better and all of your worries go away. you place back that bright smile of yours onto your face and giggle cheerfully, maintaining the red color on your cheeks.
"okay, tetsu! just promise that you'll make sure you make time to video call me on LINE."
seeing that you've returned to your usual demeanor, he sighs in relief with a bashful smile.
"yeah, that might not happen every day if i have a lot of studying to do in college."
"eh? really? then, promise me you'll treat me to that fancy buffet down the street when you come back!"
"(y/n)! do i really need to promise you that?!"
eventually, you two agreed to swing by that nearby konbini to get some snacks for today (due to the fact that you two didn't eat breakfast during the morning).
you knew that deep down inside your heart, you will never forget about this pleasant april day.
#kuroo tetsurou#tetsurou kuroo#kuroo tetsurou x reader#tetsurou kuroo x reader#kuroo#kuroo x reader#tetsurou#tetsurou x reader#haikyuu x reader#x reader#fanfiction#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq#kuroo comfort#kuroo fluff#fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu headcanons#kuroo headcanons#haikyuu x y/n#kuroo x y/n#haikyuu scenarios#kuroo scenarios#anime#manga
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