#so the hospital could help with safety but there's nothing that can really help me

[scarletcomet]

my therapist was trying to convince me that I'd miss out on all of these things if I died, but I really don't care??

[d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n]

don't give up on me.

Regulus Black x F!Reader

Summary: You're sick. Regulus knows that. But how can he convince you that you're worth saving?

Word Count: 6.5K

Warnings: IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF EDS, WEIGHT LOSS, THROWING UP, FAINTING, HOSPITAL WING VISITS, ANY AND ALL ED-RELATED WARNINGS

AN: If this kind of content is triggering for you, PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING!!! nothing is more important to me than y'all keeping yourselves healthy - both mentally and physically! If this shit helps you then, here ya go :) (P.S. the summary is really bad sorry!!)

You ran back to the dorms, promising Pandora that you'd be back before breakfast. Lie.

Every day was pretty much the same: you weighed yourself on the muggle scale that you'd snuck into your bags behind your dad's back, and then based on that number, you'd eat. Or you wouldn't. It was easy to miss mealtimes - you'd make the excuse of needing to finish some homework or having forgotten something in the dorms. If you went to the hall during mealtimes, you'd put a little food on your plate and push it around to make it seem like you'd eaten loads when you hadn't touched anything at all.

If the number on the scale weren't acceptable to some extreme standard you'd set yourself to, then you'd spiral - only small amounts of food, you'd go on a run before dinner (strategically showing up late enough that there wouldn't be much left), calling yourself the worst names in the mirror.

It was a routine that you hated - you wanted to kick it, but you couldn't. It was a safety net. You needed control, and this was the only way to have it. It was your drug and you were dependent on it.

It had started as a need to look better, more like your sister. She was taller, skinnier, better at everything she did. You wanted that. So you started skipping meals, spending more time doing workouts - you'd bought one of those muggle aerobics DVDs, and you'd follow it almost every day. You lost a few kilograms in the first few weeks of summer, and the pride of achieving your goal outweighed the hunger pains and headaches. Your weight became an obsession to you and you weighed yourself after every meal and in the morning and night, and your diet to become healthier quickly became a desire to be smaller.

It didn't help that you remained invisible to everyone except your few Hogwarts friends. They owled you frequently, begging you to come up to London so you could spend time together, but you lived too far away for that to be possible. Your dad was busy all the time - it wasn't easy for him after the divorce - and your sister was busy with all her friends. They didn't like you very much, finding you odd as you went to school so far away. They left you alone for the most part - you only saw them when your sister agreed to drive you somewhere.

Not eating became natural after a while: the hunger pains stopped being painful, the headaches disappeared, and the desire to eat had all but disappeared. No one really noticed - you were pretty good at hiding your tricks - but your quickly shrinking body was noticeable. Your dad brought it up once, worried about how your clothes looked so big on your body: he offered to drive you to the doctors, wondering if being a wizard meant that you were more prone to getting sick. You shook your head, telling him that you were fine, but you made a mental reminder to buy much baggier clothes to hide the weight loss.

After that, you quickly went from loving your new body to despising it. You hid every inch of your skin even in the height of summer - hiding under baggy clothes, blankets, and behind pillows. You shoved your mirror to the back of your wardrobe.

By the time you went back to Hogwarts in September, your robes were far too big for you. You'd altered them sneakily: you kept the robes you had but they rested on your body better.

You'd avoided hugs from your friends, lying about an injured arm, but you'd happily reunited with them on the Hogwarts express. They all commented on how they were loving your new look - you smiled sadly at the reason. You remember getting off the train onto the platform - Regulus had helped you down from the train, gripping your hand tightly as you stepped off. As your friends dragged you away, you'd looked back at him. He'd looked almost concerned.

You came back to the Great Hall halfway through breakfast. You sat down with your friend, adjusting your collar where it was rubbing against your neck. You felt uncomfortable, almost like there was an emptiness in the back of your mind.

Pandora caught your eyes mouthing, are you ok? You nodded in response. You grabbed a glass of water and some fruit. Your throat was so dry and every single movement made you nauseous. It's fine, you told yourself, you can run it off before Charms. You're fine.

You were lying to yourself. You weren't okay, you had a problem and you knew it. But you couldn't pluck up the courage to go to Madam Pomfrey and get help. This was comfortable. You never wanted to go back to the way it was before - constantly hating your body for the way it looked in clothing, jealous of what others looked like. You'd take a few bad days like this over that.

You yawned. You were exhausted but your sleep wasn't restful or comfortable. Some parts of your body would always be sore when you woke up.

You felt someone move to sit next to you, and before you could turn to see who it was, they grabbed the apple out of your hand. You turned to protest, before seeing Regulus' pointed look and the knife in his hand. He began to cut up small slices and feed them to you, not giving you time to protest until the apple was finished and entirely consumed.

"Get a room lovebirds, someone from down the table called, but Regulus was quick to shoot them the finger. You smiled at that and Regulus let out a breath at the sight of it.

"It's nice to see you smile, canari. You don't seem to do it as much anymore," He said lowly, making sure his voice was only for you.

You pat his shoulder to reassure him, trying to hide your panicked mind behind gentle touches. He smiled at you before standing up to leave. He offered you a hand, which you gratefully took, and you both headed towards Defense Against the Dark Arts - your first lesson of the day.

That night, you had been planning on skipping dinner. You had convinced Pandora and Barty that you had an essay for Professor McGonagall that you hadn't even started, and they had believed you. They left you in the common room, promising to bring back one of your favourites - a Pumpkin Pasty. All was well.

You slipped out of your dorm room and down the stairs to the front door, heading out for a quick run.

"Where do you think you're going?" A voice cut through the cool air. You shut your eyes. Busted.

Regulus walked up to you, raising his eyebrows and waiting for an answer. "Tell me, Reggie, does growing up rich make you so entitled or are you just naturally a pompous ass?"

He laughed, throwing his head back, and grabbing your hand, "I'm going to let it go because you haven't eaten anything and you're probably hangry." He dragged you down to the Great Hall, even as you dragged your feet.

He pulled you in and sat you down by his side, piling your plate high with all the foods he knew were your favourite. If your anxiety wasn't spiraling, you would be touched that Regulus knew exactly what you liked and what you didn't.

People were sat all around the table, making small talk and eating. You took deep breaths as nonchalantly as you could, cutting up the food Regulus had piled on your plate. You didn’t want to draw any attention to yourself. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem - you’d have a few days of no one noticing you skipping meals, then you could comfortably eat dinner with no worries. You could prepare for that. But, after breakfast this morning was sprung on you, you didn’t think you should be eating this soon. I mean you had only just run off the apple you had for breakfast. How were you going to keep your weight down if you were gorging yourself on the most unhealthy food every minute of every day.

You tried to join in with the conversation every so often, pushing things around on your plate as you did so. You thought you were hiding it well, but you caught Regulus glancing at you in concern, every time you finished speaking.

Catching onto this habit, you worriedly stood up, grabbing your things and getting ready to go.

“Leaving again so early?” Barty asked, grabbing your wrist. He looked at the wrist almost concerned but you tugged your hand away. You looked around the table before your eyes landed on Regulus, concern filling his face.

You swallowed nervously, “Yeah, I'm going to head up to bed. Goodnight,” You stepped over the bench and left through one of the back doors. Regulus watched you leave. Something didn’t sit right with him.

As soon as you rounded the corner, you picked up the pace almost breaking into a jog. You made it down the stairs to the Slytherin common room, heart pounding in your chest and nearly threw yourself up the stairs to your dorm. You closed the door and locked yourself in the bathroom. You were usually methodical about this process, you had a system. But you were desperate at this point. You tied your hair up messily and filled up a hidden water bottle at the sink before chugging it and turning to the toilet. 

Back in the Great Hall, Regulus decided that he was going to go check on you. He excused himself and bid everyone a good night - just like you had - before heading in the direction of the Slytherin dorm. 

You were bent over the toilet, retching. You hated this so much. It didn’t feel good - it almost hurt - but you felt so relieved doing it. You couldn’t explain it. It was somehow the one thing that helped you feel better.

Regulus quickly made his way up the stairs to face your dorm. The stairs were enchanted to stop the boys from climbing up them, but Regulus was able to jump and skip a few steps to make it to the top. Nothing was going to stop him from getting to you. Not now.

Regulus knocked on your dorm door, to which he was met with silence. You couldn’t hear him. Not liking the feeling in his gut, he slowly pushed the door open. To his surprise, you weren’t there.

From the bathroom, he heard the faint sound of someone retching. Regulus furrowed his brows. You hadn't seemed sick this morning. Why didn’t you say something? You were going to go on a walk, for Merlin's sake! Closing the door behind him, he walked over to the bathroom door, pressing his ear to the door. That was definitely you retching. He knocked. You froze.

“Canari? Are you okay in there?” He asked, leaning against the door.

Shit. 

You scrambled to get up, quickly flushing the toilet and washing your hands.

"Canari?"

You splashed your face with water before replying, “I’m fine, Reg.” You cursed yourself for the wavering in your voice.

You turned to the mirror - you were a mess, your tear-streaked face red and splotchy. You washed your face, trying to get rid of as much inflammation as you could. 

You took a deep breath and leaned against the sink. How could you have been so stupid? How were you going to talk yourself out of this?

“Can you open the door, please?” Regulus said. He was half intending to break the door down, but he wouldn't violate you like that.

You sighed and opened the door with your head down. You tried to walk past Regulus, but he gently pulled you towards him, your head resting just over his heart. His finger tilted your face upwards, his eyes widening at your red eyes and face. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?” he asked.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You tried to pry yourself away from him, but he wasn't letting you go so easily.

“You’re not fine if you’re throwing up. What's really going on?”

“It’s nothing. I had a stomach bug over the summer. Sometimes it acts up a little. It's fine. I'm fine.” you affirmed. Your solidness was almost more to convince yourself than him.

One look at Regulus told you he was not convinced. He pulled you back into his chest. "You sure that's all it is? You'll tell me if it gets worse?"

"Yeah, Reg, I'll tell you if it gets worse. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"It's okay, Canari. As long as you are okay, it's okay."

You managed to avoid any more confrontations until Christmas. You decided to stay at school over the Christmas holidays, like you usually did, which meant no friends to worry about your ever-growing problem.

You woke up to a dry throat and a pounding headache. The usual. You coaxed your body into slumping out of bed and you brushed your teeth. God, you looked a mess. The dark circles under your eyes were prominent and your face was pale and gaunt. You almost looked like a skeleton.

The sun was pretty high in the sky - it was probably almost afternoon. Shit. How could you have slept half the day away? It's fine you'll just have to stay up later tonight to finish all your essays. You walked out into the dorm to be greeted with 4 other empty beds - everyone else had gone home for the holidays. You figured it was probably safer to stay at school than to go home looking so terrible.

Begrudgingly, you pulled on a pair of jeans and a Slytherin sweater you were almost sure wasn't yours, and slipped down to the common room. You'd left an essay for Professor Binns in front of the fireplace - you had rushed to the bathroom after Barty had practically force-fed you a few. You'd blamed it on the fact you got a dog food-flavoured one (you didn't - it was chocolate brownie, which was almost worse), but the side-long glance Regulus had given you made you retreat into your dorm room for the rest of the night.

Still, you needed to finish that essay and you headed down the steps, pausing halfway down to calm your racing heart. The common room was cold and empty - it usually was in the winter, given that most Slytherin students went home for the break. You shivered violently - the cold that nestled into your bones in early October had refused to leave. Now, without at least a jumper or two under your robes, you were constantly shivering.

You glanced at all the tables - there was no parchment or quills. There was no one still here that would want to steal your essay or your quills, so you were surprised to see all your stuff gone and the common room completely clean. You searched everywhere in case the house elves had moved it while cleaning, but you couldn't find it anywhere.

Tears started brimming in your eyes knowing that those were the only quills you had and there wasn't much chance that you could afford to buy a whole set of new ones and finish your essay before Christmas day.

"Good morning, Canari." You whirled around to see Regulus standing behind you, his obsidian-black suit perfectly ironed and immaculately clean. His hair was perfectly coiffed - as it usually was - and his face clean of the stubble you knew that he was able to grow. Not a hair out of place. Never a hair out of place. Why couldn't you be more like Regulus - perfect without trying. Skinny and pretty and fun to be around. Not always worrying about if you were trying too hard.

A lone tear slipped out of your eye and down your face. Regulus was there in an instant, his hands grasping your face, thumbs wiping away any tears.

"What's wrong, Canari? Why are you crying?" Regulus said, pulling you into his chest. You felt him stiffen against you, his fingers running over your protruding spine. But you nestled into his warmth, the chill in your bones just barely sated by his heat.

You looked up into his eyes, sniffling, "Someone took all my stuff."

"What?"

"I forgot my stuff down here last night - my essay for Binns and all my quills were on the table, but now they're gone," your breathing picked up as you began to panic, "And I can't afford to buy a whole new pack of quills, which means that I won't be able to finish any of my other essays and Professor McGona-"

"Canari. I have your stuff." Regulus interrupted, his arms running up and down your back, "It's okay. I took it to my dorm before I went to bed. Here." Regulus led you to the staircase leading up to his dorm and made you wait as he dashed upstairs and got your things. He handed them to you in a neat pile before leading you back to your dorm with his hand on your lower back. "Put your stuff away and then come down with me. Let's eat breakfast together."

Alarm bells started ringing in your head. Eat? Now? With so much to do? How could you waste your time? But you couldn't make Regulus more suspicious of your behaviour.

You head down to the Great Hall with him, pulling at your sleeves as he placed all manner of pies and treats on your plate. You felt nauseated by the smell alone.

It didn't skip your notice how Regulus looked at you as if you were going to break at any second. Hell, he probably thought you already had.

You turned the corner off the path to head into the Forbidden Forest. If any of the Professors found you out here they'd give you a detention. That coincidentally would mean that you missed dinner. Two birds, one stone.

You set off on your run, keeping to the border of the forbidden forest, but deep enough in that no one would be able to see you without looking. You kept a steady pace - you were used to this routine. If you overate, you'd run until you felt exhausted and then you'd slip back into the dorm and skip dinner.

Except the snow was never normally this heavy and with every breath you exhaled a puff of smoke left your lungs. The inhales were almost painful, the cold air rough on your fragile lungs. You could hear your heart pounding in your head and your ears were starting to ring but you ploughed on.

What a mistake that was. You feel your foot slipping before you can even grab onto something. The next thing you know everything was black.

Regulus was worried. He'd paid close attention to your ever-deteriorating health, and he was worried, to say the least. After you'd run from lunch with him and Barty, he'd followed you back to the dorm. You hadn't even noticed him trailing you as you almost ran back to the common room. You'd slammed your dorm door shut and hadn't left for hours. You'd finally left when you thought no one was in the common room, dressed in some sweatpants and a jumper that was far too thin for this ghastly weather. He'd grabbed his own coat and a spare jacket for you, before following you through the hallways. He'd contemplated calling your name once, but clearly, there was something going on. And Regulus wanted to know what.

You'd slipped out of one of the doors to the courtyard and set off on a light jog down toward Hagrid's hut. That's odd, Regulus thought, you didn't have detention. Of course, it didn't pass his mind that you may just be running. After all, who would willingly go on a run in the middle of December in Scotland. Still, he watched as you ran down the steps that led to the now frost-covered pumpkin patches. Maybe you needed to collect something from him, he thought. Yes, that's probably it. Far more likely than Miss 'golden-girl' having a detention. Professor Kettleburn probably needed something and sent you to go get it.

His confusion only multiplied when you bypassed Hagrid's hut and disappeared into the thicket of the Forbidden Forest. Regulus picked up his pace, making sure that he wasn't caught as he followed your footsteps. He tried to keep up but you were always a faster runner than him, always making it to class on time even if you were both running late. He quickly lost you, having to resort to tracking your footsteps through the deep snow. He was ever more confused as to why you were out here - if anyone caught you here, you'd have a month's worth of evening detentions. Not the best way to start the year.

When he finally caught up to you, his heart dropped to his feet. You were lying face down in the snow, clothing soaked through. He knelt beside you, his hands running over your face as he softly called your name. Your skin was cold to the touch, causing Regulus to panic. He quickly bundled you up in the spare coat he brought with him. He removed the scarf from around his neck and wrapped it around yours, before tucking your hands into the pocket of the jacket.

He hoisted you up in his arms, wrapping his arms securely under your body. He slowly started walking back to the castle, being careful to avoid anyone seeing him leave the Forbidden Forest - the last thing he needed was the both of you getting in more trouble. He carried you through the hallways to the hospital wing, rapping his knuckles sharply against the window while you remained unconscious in his arms.

Madam Pomfrey was quick to open the door and, at the sight of your unconscious body, ushered you both inside, helping Regulus to lay you on one of the free beds. She laid a thick blanket over you and dug out a heating potion to dispel the chill from your bones. Regulus just sat by your side and held your hand. It was ice-cold as usual, but somehow Regulus never wanted to let go.

"...Mr. Black?" Madam Pomfrey asked, but Regulus had missed the question while he was staring at you. He looked up at her questioningly, silently asking her to repeat the question, "I said, will you get some dry clothes for her? I trust that you have something you can give her."

Regulus nodded dumbly, leaving the hospital wing before breaking into a run. He ran upstairs and pulled a sweater and some sweatpants for you. They would be big on you but hopefully, they would keep you from getting too cold. His heart was pounding as he returned to the hospital wing.

He diligently gave the jumper and sweatpants to Madam Pomfrey, before turning around so she could change your clothes modestly. It was nothing he hadn't seen before, he wanted to tell Madam Pomfrey, but somehow he was sure that she wouldn't appreciate that sentiment.

Once she was done and you were nestled under two layers of blankets and in clean clothes, Madam Pomfrey turned back to Regulus.

"Mr. Black, I'm going to have to collect a report from this accident from you, if you would so oblige."

"Uhh, of course, yeah. Um, well," Regulus prided himself on being a good liar, but under so much pressure, not so much. "We found a - uh - salamander on the fifth floor by the library when we were studying there earlier. She said she'd go tell Hagrid so she headed down to his hut. I wanted to find her to finish my essay before dinner so I headed down to see Hagrid, but then I found her lying in the snow."

Madam Pomfrey nodded, "Did Hagrid find out about the Salamander?"

Regulus nodded, "Yeah, one of the third years told him. I heard them talking about it while I was looking for her." It wasn't a total lie. Two third years had found a Salamander by the fifth-floor boys' toilets. They'd told Hagrid, and Regulus had overheard them talking about it.

Madam Pomfrey nodded, sealing away the report and filing it away. Regulus stood up to go back to the common room when Madam Pomfrey stopped him.

"She's incredibly thin, Mr. Black. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" Regulus shook his head, "It's worrying how underweight she is. You haven't noticed anything? Anything out of the ordinary?"

Regulus shook his head again before turning around to leave the hospital wing. He knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you could feel was heat. You were warm. After months of being on the edge of freezing all the time, it was nice.

The second thing you noticed was the smell of cologne. A familiar cologne. Regulus' cologne. It was an expensive one - the Black family was rich and they weren't scared to show it off.

You opened your eyes slowly, grateful for the darkness. You looked towards the window to see that it was nighttime. You furrowed your brow in confusion. You could have sworn that it was just past lunch. You pushed yourself up further only to realise that you were in the hospital wing.

Before you could push yourself up even further, a voice interrupted you, "And just where do you think you're going, young lady?" Madam Pomfrey walked up to you with a glass of pumpkin juice in hand and two tablets. "You're dehydrated. And possibly have a concussion. You should be glad Mr. Black found you when he did."

Regulus found me? How the hell did he know where I was?

You took the pills from her hand and swallowed them down quickly. You savoured the taste of the Pumpkin Juice - it had been so long since you'd had the calorie-filled drink.

You turned to the door just in time to see Regulus walk in. It was as if he had exhaled for the first time seeing you awake. His shoulders dropped, his chest relaxed and all the tension in his face melted away.

He sat by your side gently, letting you finish the juice. Madam Pomfrey spoke up again, "Now, young lady, do you want to explain that nasty little fainting spell?" She said, her eyebrows raised as she scrutinised you.

"Uhh, well - I was - uh - walking down to Hagrid's hut, and - uh - my ears started ringing, and I think I fell." You said, your voice hoarse from disuse.

"And it has nothing to do with the fact that you are underweight?" Madam Pomfrey pressed.

"I've just been nauseous the last few days." You lied quickly, slightly recoiling under her heavy words, "I think it's stress but it might be a bug. I remember Pandora complaining about her stomach the night before she went home."

Madam Pomfrey seemed convinced. Regulus less so. As soon as Madam Pomfrey left, he turned to you.

"You lied." You shifted nervously under his intense gaze.

"I didn't. I have been nauseous all week."

"If you were nauseous, why were you on a run?"

"I thought the fresh air might help."

"Fresh air in the Forbidden Forest? Bullshit." Your heart dropped. He'd followed you there.

"Why did you follow me?"

"Why were you there alone? If I hadn't followed you and you'd fainted, you would have been dead by the time anyone found you."

"Oh, so I guess that means I should thank you now, should I? Oh, thank His Lordship, Mr. Black for saving my life, even thOUGH NO ONE ASKED HIM TOO!" You exclaimed, seething. You threw his hands off you and tried to push him away but he refused to budge.

"Stop being difficult," Regulus said, pulling the blankets back over your frail body.

"OH I'M BEING DIFF-"

"JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH!" He interrupted, his blue eyes blazing with fury. You could just about pick out the lingering concern that was embedded in his gaze. You saw red.

"GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" You pushed Regulus away with every ounce of strength in your body. He fell off the chair, crashing to the ground in an undignified heap.

You watched, in horror at what you'd done, as he walked over to the door. He cast you a longing glance as he left, almost as if he was begging you, pleading you to let him in, to not shut him out. To let him help you.

You sighed. You weren't sure if you could be helped.

On Christmas Eve, Madam Pomfrey let you go back to your own bed, with the promise that you'd visit her every day so she could check up on you. Regulus hadn't visited since you told him to leave, and a small part of you was glad that he hadn't. The rest of you had missed him dearly.

You felt him walk up to you as you lounged on one of the sofas in front of the fire.

"Room for one more?" He asked hesitantly, standing in front of you. You shuffled to the edge of the sofa to give him room to sit down.

"So how are you?" He said, hands toying with his wand as he tried to avoid staring at you.

"We don't have to do this, Reg. Can we just let it go?" You sighed, hoping that you didn't have to get into this conversation right now.

"Yes, we do. Tell me, Canari, are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine, Reg." You both sat in awkward silence, not exactly knowing how to approach this conversation. "I'm gonna - uh - go. Now. Uh - bye."

You stood up, trying to escape into your dorm room, but Regulus beat you to it - blocking you with his body. It wasn't fair that he was almost a whole head taller than you.

"No, what's going on? Are you sick?" Regulus insisted, hands coming up to brush your arms. You shuddered at the gentle touch, but he still didn't pull away.

“Reg-”

“Canari.” he insisted. "Don't lie to me."

You took a deep breath. "I'm sick," you whispered quietly, but loud enough for Regulus to hear it.

He shifted on his feet, “What do you mean?”

You looked at him, noting the tears building up on his lash line. Regulus never cried. More than once, Barty had joked that the 'snowman didn't have a heart'. You shook your head, "It won’t make sense."

"Then help me understand."

You took a few breaths, trying to get your thoughts in order. Regulus led you back to the couch, his large warm hands covering your cold frail ones. You tried to get your thoughts in order, tried to figure out where to start. Well, it's probably best to start at the beginning. “I don’t know what happened. I was just supposed to lose a little weight. I started eating less, doing some muggle workouts. And it worked. But now - now, now I just can't stop." you finished.

Regulus' face contorted to one of concern. You avoided his gaze, your eyes filled with tears at finally revealing your secret. Regulus pulled you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you into his chest. You nestled into them, your head of his heart as sobs started to wrack your body. Regulus held you tightly, whispering that it would be okay. He breathed deeply and steadily, hoping you would fall into rhythm with him. 

Eventually, your heaving breaths slowed, and you began to calm down. After a few moments of silence, Bucky asked “How long has this been going on?”

"Since the summer break. But I think the problem's been going on a lot longer than that." You whispered into his chest, defeated.

Regulus took a deep breath, his mind relaying all the suspicious behaviour he'd picked up on over the past term. "Why didn’t you say anything?"

You shrugged weakly, "It wasn’t your problem."

You jostled in his lap as he turned you to face him. "Canari. Your problems are my problems. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm here? Because I want to be here. For you. I want to help, Canari. Please." You avoided his gaze because you knew what you'd find. Genuine concern. Something you weren't sure if you deserved. "You always help me or anyone else whenever we need it. Remember when Pandora had those nightmares for months and every night you'd hold her hand until she fell asleep? Or when Barty told us that he was afraid of the dark so you gave him an enchanted tea candle that would never go out? Hmm? If we were going through this, wouldn’t you want to help us?"

"Of course, I would," you said firmly, tears building up in your eyes again. You rubbed the way with the corner of your sleeve, but Regulus caught your hand.

"So why can’t you let me help you the same way?" he asked, his eyes shining with sincerity.

You shook your head lightly, "It’s not that simple, Reg."

"Why?"

"Because.”

"Because what?"

"It's just not the same," you said a little louder, pushing yourself off his lap. You had to put a distance between him and yourself, or you knew that you would break. You turned around heading in any direction that was not here, not in front of the only man capable of reducing you to tears.

"I don't get it. What’s the difference between me and you? Why can’t you-"

“Because I don’t HATE you!” you exclaimed, turning around to face him again. The pain in your eyes was evident as you tried to shrink further into yourself. Regulus was up in an instant, cradling your head in his hands as if you were a porcelain doll. You took a shuddering breath, "It’s not the same thing because I don’t hate you. I want to help you all, because you are good people, and I like you."

Tears streamed down your face as the confession spilled from your lips. You told him about everything, the loneliness, the self-loathing, the punishments, everything. Regulus stood there as you sobbed in his arms and confessed to him, taking every beating and tucking it away in the corner of his frozen heart that was reserved for you.

When you had finally settled, Regulus looked at you sadly. His gaze was heavy as if he was trying to see if there were any other secrets you were hiding. "Is that really how you feel about yourself?" he asked, saddened even more when you began nodding. "What did you do that was so wrong?"

You didn’t know. The loneliness that had plagued your childhood had melted into the insecurity that you didn't belong anywhere, and you never would. So slowly, you accepted that you never would. Your voice was weak when you spoke up again, "I'm sick, Reg. I know that. But I don't think this kind of sick can be healed by one of Madam Pomfrey's potions. People catch colds or break bones - those can be fixed. And once it's fixed, it won’t bother them again. But this," you gestured your body repeatedly, "this I don’t know if I fix. I don’t know how, I don’t know where to start. It’s me against me. It's a losing game. I’m not the kind of sick that gets better, Reg," you shrugged slightly and shook your head.

Regulus wrapped his arms around you tighter, "There's always a cure."

"Not for me."

"No. You're not giving up. YOU CAN'T FUCKING GIVE UP WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO GET BETTER!" Regulus wasn't one to lose composure ever. In fact, Regulus wasn't one to show much emotion at all, but here he was, crying and yelling over you. Trying to convince you to get better. He tucked his chest into you, whispering, "Please. Please, you can't- you can't leave me here. Not alone, please, Canari."

You rested your face on his head, your cheek pressed against his beautiful curly hair. You stayed like that, you pulled into his lap, his head cocooned into your chest, your head laying on the top of his head. Both of you expended every last tear in your body before he spoke up again.

“Can I try to help?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean you want to get better? Right?" Regulus removed himself from your chest and looked into your eyes. His hands traveled to rest on your face. You nodded. "You can always talk to me about anything," You avoided his gaze, "you know that right?"

At the uncertain look on your face, Regulus stiffened. You quickly spoke up, "It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do, but-" You paused thinking how best to word this.

"Yes?"

"It’s just that I don’t want to disappoint you," you said, your voice trailing off as you spoke. "I don’t want to fuck up and end up hurting you because I couldn’t be better. I don’t want you to worry every bloody day. You don't deserve that." you took a deep breath and looked away again. "I don’t want you to leave because I couldn’t be strong for you."

"Is that really what you think I would do?" Regulus asked, his tone growing angrier. You cowered under his anger, and Regulus noticed. He tried to level his breathing as he continued, "I would never be disappointed with you, because you're trying your best. You said it: you're sick. And sometimes it takes time to heal. And you're healing for you, so that you can have a happy life. A long life." He paused, considering whether to add this next part, "No matter whether that life has me in it."

You leaned into him again, his arms wrapping you into a tight hug. Your life would always have Regulus in it, no matter how long, short, sick, or healthy it would end up being. Regulus made you promise to go back to Madam Pomfrey in the morning to tell her the whole truth.

"Promise you will be there the whole time?" you asked softly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, and exhaustion washed over you.

His arms tightened around you, "I promise. As long as you promise not to give up. Even when it gets hard."

You smiled your first proper smile in what felt like an age.

"I promise."

fin.

[touchtheinvisiblestars]

Imagine Benny when you come to him for help

"Ben?" You call out, rapping your knuckles on the door frame. You held your other arm flush to your chest, trying to ignore the searing pain coming from your shoulder.

Knocking on the door again. You didn't know if he was home or out with the guys. You just knew where his house was and that you needed help.

"Hang on a damn minute!" He yelled from inside. Clearly irritated at the disturbance at such a late hour. You breathed a sigh of relief that he was home.

"Benny please let me in." You called, glancing out into the night behind you.

"Y/N?" His heavy footsteps picked up in speed and he yanked open the door.

Practically barging past him, you stumble into the entrance way of the house.

"I'm so sorry Ben. I didn't have anywhere else to go?"

"How about a hospital? What the fuck happened to you." He looked you over, taking note of the cuts on your face and the way you held your arm.

"Don't want to talk about it."

"Fair enough. Why did you come here? Frankies' is closest to you."

"You told me I could come here if I needed to. For safety."

"Yeah but that was about- oh. Wait he did this to you?" The realisation dawned on him and he felt a wave of anger roll over him.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to get away from him, and he doesn't know where you live. Among other reasons. I would have gone to Frankie but Sam's not even a month old yet, and you don't have a baby."

"He's looking for you? To what? Have another go at beating you senseless."

"His exact words were a little more colourful and descriptive."

"Right... You need to sit down so I can clean you up. And then start over and tell me exactly what happened."

You took a seat on the very comfortable sofa. Perching yourself on the edge of the cushion. Not wanting to stain them with any dirt or blood.

Benny came back with his well stocked first aid kit. Constantly in use from his training and fighting injuries.

"Start from the top. I'm all ears." Benny prompted you as he took a seat on the footstool and started taking out some antiseptic wipes.

"There really isn't all that much to explain. I came home from work. Showered and the next thing I know he's on me like I've just told him I fucked someone in our bed. Which I hadn't by the way. Apparently some of his buddies saw me at your fight yesterday. Made up something about it and played into his jealousy about it. Nothing I could say way going to make it better."

"Fuckin' knew it. I told Will this would happen. Tell me you're not going back to him."

"Do I look brain damaged Ben? I'm not the girl that going to 'fix' him. The second he put his hands on me I was done. There's no going back from this."

A comfortable silence followed, only cut by the occasional sharp intake of breath from you as Benny cleaned you up.

"Good. 'Kay, I've cleaned up that busted eyebrow and your lip. You're lucky you don't need stitches for your hand. Can you move your shoulder or are taking a trip to the ER?"

"Ben I can't afford it. But it fuckin' hurts. I can move my wrist?" You offered, hoping it was helpful information.

Letting out a sigh, he placed down the cloth he had, "Ive fixed a fair few dislocated shoulders but if it's broken were going to have to. Can I see?"

You nodded, shifting to face him side on. He moved your hoodie to the side and his fingers prodded along you collarbone. Whimpering as he got to a particularly sore spot.

"What's the verdict nurse Miller?" You teased.

"I don't think it's broken, how this that happen exactly."

"He uh, kicked it."

Ben let out a puff of air, signaling his disgust, but continued feeling along your shoulder, "yep that's dislocated. I can put it back but I need to do it properly and quickly."

You nodded, Benny moved so he was sat behind you. Wrapping an arm around yours, he took hold of your upper arm. "Okay, what do I need to do, can you give me-"

With a sickening pop, he jolted your shoulder back into place. Letting out a horror movie worthy scream. You lurched away from him and blinked at him in shock.

"I'm sorry. It's best to just do it, warning makes it worse."

"Holy shit, that fucking hurt." You puffed out breaths of air trying to slow your heart. "But thank you."

"Try not to move it too much."

"Okay. Ben I'm sorry for just turning up here."

"None of that thank you very much. I'm just flattered you felt safe enough to come to me. I meant what I said."

"Of course I feel safe with you. You've always looked after me like I'm yours."

There was a tense silence for a moment after that as you both started at each other. Ben cleared his throat and shifted himself off the sofa.

"I'm going to grab you some painkillers. I bet you're starting to ache now."

He was right, you felt like you'd been put through a hydraulic press six different ways. Returning with a glass and a hand outstretched with a few pills in it. You gratefully took them. Downing the pills and the water easily.

"If you just drugged me I'm going to be so mad."

He let out a chuckle, "come on. If I was like that I wouldn't have wasted a good first aid kit on you. That shits expensive."

"The way you go through them yeah I bet they are." You both chuckled at the thought.

"Okay I sho-" You started to say but we're cut off by the sound a car pulling up and the engine turning off.

You heard a car door close outside. Making you freeze.

"Go upstairs now. Don't come back down until I say it's clear." Benny whisper shouted. He quickly tidied up the first aid kit and shoved it under a blanket on the sofa.

"Now!" He urged you when you didn't move.

Jumping into action you, ran upstairs, hovering on the landing.

Four sharp thumps to the front door had your blood running cold. How the fuck had he found you here?

"Will? What the hell do you want this late?"

"Is Y/N here?"

"Why?"

"I'll take that as a yes then."

"It's okay Y/N it's just Will." Benny called up to you.

Tentatively you came back downstairs. Seeing the two brothers stood side by side.

When Will locked eyes on you, he strode over and pulled you into a hug. He had always been the less affectionate of the two. So it surprised you as he rubbed your back.

"Thank god you're okay. He's been down the bar bragging about what he did to you."

"What? She's lucky she didn't have to go to the hospital." Benny seethed, "man I really want to go down there."

"Bet he missed out some bits. He was cradling his balls as I ran off."

The two of them snorted in unison, "you better have."

"Of course I did. He wouldn't have stopped. Fucker was trying to kill me."

"Well he's never gonna get the chance to again." Benny affirmed, gritting his teeth.

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Four: [Parental Guidance]

Summary: Jakes Mother simply cannot understand what he saw in you, your mother simply cannot comprehend why you left Jake.

Warnings: Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Overbearing mothers.

Word Count: 4:1k

Author Note: Mothers…Especially boy mothers can just be the worst when they’re in LOVE with their sons.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

November 1st 

Bradley Bradshaw never thought he would be the person Jake Seresin called when he was in a situation and needed help, but here he was. Sitting in his Bronco outside the house of a woman he didn't know in the early hours of the morning watching Jake stumble down the small overgrown cobblestone path. The Halloween costume Rooster had seen Jake in early that night was long forgotten as the fighter pilot wore nothing but a pair of boxer briefs with his wallet and keys in the palms of his hands. 

Immediately as soon as Jake sat in the passenger's seat of Bradleys pride and joy, he could smell the liquor trying to expel itself from Jake pores. 

“You smell like a distillery and we have a HOP at 8am.” There was a very evident disdain for Jake's current state in Roosters' tone, Jake wasn’t drunk enough to miss that. “Why are you calling me in the middle of the night to pick you up anyway? What did you do this time to warrant getting kicked out?” Jake didn't respond right away as he kept his eyes staring blankly out the window, the two had only just recently been given new orders to remain in North Island permanently. But when he did speak up, Bradley's heart ached. 

“I accidentally said my wifes name while uh–yeah.” Jake didn't think he needed to explicitly tell his wingman that, during one of the first and what Jake would consider the last one night stand he’d engaged in during your separation, he’d called out your name. “Vanessa didn't really like that.” 

“Yeah, no shit.” Bradley agreed as he drove down the street. “That's rough dude.” Bradley knew of yours and Jake's separation, Jake had told him one night at the Hard Deck after he’d asked how the family was. The two hadn’t always been on good terms but Rooster liked to think you and him were close enough to send Christmas cards to. When Jake had told him you’d left? Bradley didn’t reach out—he assumed it was for the best all things considered. 

“Yeah—but you know what’s rougher?” Jake sighed as he let his head fall back against the headrest. 

“What’s that?” 

“Knowing your wife won’t ever believe you’ll change.” Bradley knew without even looking at Jake that between the mix of alcohol and his desire to win you back that the naval aviator sitting with slumped shoulders beside him was holding back tears. “And proving her right by sleeping with some badge bunny who looked an awful lot like her.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Your home had never been so quiet with all three of your children gone. You stood in the foyer of the entryway just looking around at the mess that had been left behind. Forgotten toys yet to be put away, discarded shoes, dirty plates and cups. Pine needles that fallen from the faux Christmas tree that was essentially hanging on by its last thread. The reminisce of three young children that were allowed to be children inside the safety of their own home. 

As you wiped away the tears that you had let fall freely down from your puffy eyes, you made an effort to tidy up the house you’d be leaving in only a few short hours to leave for the hospital stay you had planned. Tiny shoes with no feet to fill, toys left unattended over the holidays simply to be replaced by newer shiner ones. 

Between now and new years while Jake had the kids in Texas your treatment plan would increase tenfold. You were scheduled for aggressive rounds of IV chemotherapy that you knew you’d have to stay in hospital for to go through, your body was barely tolerating the oral medication as it was. You were scheduled for a double mastectomy in your time at the hospital which would hopefully stop any cancerous cells from spreading to more lymph nodes and areas of your body that remained untouched. Did you have high hopes? Not particularly. But you were ready and willing to do just about anything the oncologist assigned to your particular case had recommended. 

It was going to be a rough stint, but hopefully by the time Jake returned with your children, you’d still be able to mask your diagnosis. How you were going to explain the symptoms like hair loss and suddenly having no breast tissue to Jake was something you had yet to come up with. 

But ‘New year, New me’ was looking like the best possible explanation. Maybe the new look would get him off your case a little when it came to working on your marital issues. 

As you put things back in their rightful places and tidy up, you felt your phone ringing in your back pocket. The call ID immediately made you want to cry even more than you already had been. 

“Hi mum—“ You cooed softly as you stood alone in your empty home. “I uh, I just got home.” 

“How was Jake?” Your mother asked as she drove over to yours, you could hear the difference in her voice because of the shitty ass bluetooth system she barely knew how to work properly. “Did the kids kick up a fuss?” 

“Jake was–” You would never be able to find the right words to describe your husband, well, ex-husband. “Jake was Jake mum you know how we are right now.” Your mother knew about your diagnosis. She had been the one who urged you to see a doctor after you told her you had found a rather large lump on your left breast. “And no, actually the kids were super excited to go with their dad for the holidays, I think they still don't really understand that I'm not gonna be there at all, maybe they just think I won't be there for a day or two, but uh–yeah, they were good.” 

“And how are you feeling?” It was surprisingly a rather hard question to answer as you sat down on the lounge. For the longest time you had always put your family first, made sure all their needs were met before your own. From your kids to your husband they always came first, but now? Now you had to focus on your health and put yourself first if you had any chance of getting through the next few weeks. 

“I threw up this morning–” It was your way of saying you werent travelling well at all. “After I slept with Jake–” You knew your mum would be shocked at your admission, so you closed your eyes and braced for it. The scolding, the “never sleep with an ex speech” But it never came. All that came was a sigh you couldn't tell was laced in disappointment or approval. 

“You need that man in your life darling, he's a good man, the two of you just need to work on your differences.” Your mother had always had a soft spot for Jake Seresin, for a few weeks after your initial breakup he stayed in her spare room. Jake loved your mother like his own and you knew that if you ever gave her a moment on the soap box, your mum would scream it to whoever would listen just how much you and Jake were made for one another. 

Which in your opinion was a little shitty. Jake had his own mum. You needed yours. 

“I know he's a good man mum, that's why I married him to begin with.” You sighed heavily as you laid on the lounge to ward off the dizzy spell that was threatening to throw you off balance. “But I haven't been his priority in a hell of a long time, and I owe it to myself to not go back to being a married single mother.” 

“Okay okay, well–” You knew your mum was only trying to help but it felt like the two of you had this very same conversation every time you spoke, it was like deja vu. “He won't wait around forever darling.” That fact you also knew, according to Jake himself her name was Violet or Vivian or Vanessa. Something that started with a V. Either way you knew very well that Jake wouldn’t wait around for you to take him back on his hands and knees begging. 

But at the end of the day you weren’t sure if you even wanted him to wait for you. Of course you loved Jake, with your whole heart. But right now nothing made sense to you, you were dying after all. 

“Trust me,” You rolled your eyes thinking about how Vanessa or Vicky or Veronica looked. If she looked anything like you or maybe completely different. If she had blue eyes you'd surmise that he probilby date her. “I know he won't, but he's not the priority right now, my health is.” 

“I'll be there in about an hour or two depending on traffic.” For a split second you wished it might take a little longer. Although you loved your mum dearly and appreciated everything she ever did for you, her favouritism towards your husband made your blood boil. 

“Okay, I might have a bit of a nap while I'm waiting for you, I'm feeling pretty shattered.” No word of a lie was spoken, you were exhausted to say the very least. Finally being alone and not having to be in constant caregiver mode for three young children truly had your body calling it quits. You needed sleep and so much of it. 

“I'll see you soon alright?” You mum spoke through the bluetooth that crackled and broke with the failing reception, but you heard her just barely. 

“Alright, bye mum.” You paused hesitantly as you let your eyes close “I love you.” It had been a while since you told anyone you loved them besides your kids, and for a second you wished it was Jake on the other end of the line. You did love him, probably more now than you ever had. Everything was just so messy, it wasn't fair. None of this was fair. 

“Bye Darling.” Your mum replied. “I love you too.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“My babies!!” Janeen Seresin was in Jake's opinion, one of those women who never should have had kids, let alone four of them. Jake was the youngest of four Seresin children and the only boy. His father, Rodney, was a hard task master who no matter what Jake accomplished in his career or personal life, never seemed to be proud of the man he had become. 

“Hi Ma.” There was a pretty simple explanation for that, Jake never took a beating without getting a few punches in himself. He wasn't the kind of guy who you could beat into submission even as a teen. “Merry Christmas.” 

“Jacob oh my boy it's so good to see you.” Janeen took her youngest child in her arms in the threshold of the Sersein estate. Lavish gardens surrounded the old exposed red brick home that had been in the Seresin family for generations. Jake knew when his parents died it wasn't going to him, but to his eldest sister Julies. “Come in come in! You guys must be so tired after your flight.” 

Jake, despite being a fighter pilot who had flown some of the most suicidal missions, was a nervous flyer when he wasn’t in total control. Commercial flying wasn't something he typically enjoyed. It made him anxious at the best of times and whenever he added his children to the mix he was sure that the way his heart pounded inside his chest during takeoff was early signs of an underlying genetic heart condition he probably inherited from his father. 

“The kids are definitely a little tired, I think Sam's ears haven't really pooped either.” Jake cooed as he and his kids entered the house Jake grew up in, the overly eccentric, far too big, the annoyingly in your face house he knew you always hated. It always seemed to exemplify the two worlds you and Jake grew up in as children. 

“Grandma!” Lucy interrupted. “Mum said that Santa will know exactly where we are if we put out cookies and milk for him and carrots for his reindeer like we do at home.” Janeen chuckled at her granddaughter as Jake placed Sam on the ground to walk off with his brother to explore the mansion style home that was far bigger than the one they were used to. 

“Your mother would still have you doing those silly little things wouldn't she?” Jake bit his tongue as he watched his mother soothe a hand over his daughter's head. “Of course we can put out cookies and milk, but if I get ants you better be ready to clean them up little miss.” Lucy simply smiled and nodded in response, the dig had gone right over her six year old head. 

“God Ma you'd think you never had kids of your own before.” Jake argued in an attempt to remind his mum that his kids were only young. The magic of Christmas was important to you and him. “I'm sure Santa won't leave cookie crumbs all over the house.”  

“Santa isn't who I’m worried about making a mess–” Janeen tried to say the loud things quiet while around Jake's children, but the intent in her words was still as loud and as obnoxious as ever. “How is your mother Lulu? I’m sorry she won’t be joining us for Christmas and new years.” 

“She’s been sick the past few weeks.” Jake frowned at his mothers smile, she left little to the imagination about her opinion of you. “But she’s better now.” Jake wasn't so sure of the statement his daughter made, the way you were only on your knees this morning throwing up into the toilet bowl made him frown in response. Jake had this gut feeling he couldn’t get rid of it no matter how hard he tried not to think about it. Was something wrong with you? Like, more than just a long winded flu? Who even gets the flu for three weeks these days? 

“Oh I’m sure she is dear, right before her big trip away hey?” Ever since you and Jake separated, Janeen Seresin had been pushing for Jake to file for divorce and full custody. No one got to leave her perfect angel boy. In her eyes Jake could do no wrong, he was her angel, her precious baby boy that no woman could ever be good enough for. 

“Yeah! She’s going to the snow with a bunch of her friends Grandma.” Lucy replied, she didn’t understand her grandmother’s resentments just yet. That or it went right over the little girl's head, either way Jake was thankful for her innocence. 

“Oh I know your dads told me all about your mothers grand plans.” Janeen rolled her eyes pretty heavily at the idea you were off whoring yourself out on a ski trip out of the country while her son was tasked with looking after the three children you had with him. 

“Ma, drop it will you?” Jake urged. “She’s allowed to go away for the holidays, she’s pretty much had the kids all year.”

“And why is that?” Janeen retaliated as little Lucy walked off to find her brothers. Jake followed his mother into the dining room where festive decorations dressed the dining table. Perfectly set and prepared. A stark contrast to your old chipped four seater dining table that had soggy cheerios spilled on the top just this morning. Jake much preferred the cheerio-covered table to his mothers perfectly decorated one. 

Fuck, Jake thought to himself the more he looked around. His kids were about to mess this place up. He knew deep down that would bring you a little solace. You knew Janeen was sour on you. The idea of the kids making her life just a little more chaotic would normally make you chuckle.

“Because I live and work in North Island now, I don’t have the proper work schedule to take three kids on by myself.” That was the appropriate and only answer, but Jake knew his mother saw it differently. “I don't have to means to look after them myself–Y/n does, we both agreed on that when he split.” 

“She’s keeping those kids away from you sweetheart.” Jake couldn’t have rolled his eyes harder if he tried, he’d been home for all of what? five minutes and already his mum was disrespecting you. “You don’t see those kids nearly as much as you should and it’s her—“

“Don’t you think that’s more on me then it is on her?” Jake argued back. “Come on ma you know exactly why we separated, I wasn’t putting in what she was giving and it damn near killed her. The last thing she needs is a custody battle.” 

“What you ever saw in that woman I’ll never understand sweetheart.” Janeen cooed as she reached up to touch her son's cheek. “I always knew she was never good enough for my baby boy.” 

Jake wanted to argue, he really did, but it was Christmas and his entire family would soon be filling the Seresin estate. So Jake pressed his lips together and leaned in to press a kiss to the top of his mothers head. He didn’t want to ruin yet another family holiday. He didn’t want to be dubbed the family disappointment because of his separation. Although he knew that's exactly what he was. 

He just wanted to be loved. And at this point Jake was gonna take that love whenever the hell he could get it from. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~**

“Y/n–” At first you didn't respond, but as your mother shook you as you slept on the lounge and called your name a few more times, you finally woke up. “Y/n, babe jesus have you been asleep since we got off the phone.?” It took you a moment to come back into your body as you wiped the dry drool that had leaked from your mouth onto your cheek. The discombobulation was clearly evident to your mother as she stepped back a little to give you some space. 

“Yeah, I guess so.” You mumbled as you sat up. “I'm just really–” The all too familiar feeling of bile rising came hard and came quickly. “Oh god mum, get me a bucket!” The look of panic written in the tired lines on your face was enough for your mum to realise what was going on. 

“Oh shit hang on.” Your mother hurried into the laundry nearby and searched high and low for something you could use, but you decided soon thereafter that it was quicker if you booked it into the kitchen and puke right into the kitchen sink. “Y/n! Oh god are you alright darling?” 

For a single mother of two children, yourself and your older brother Carson, your mother did alright for the hand she was dealt. On the younger side, your mother always seemed a little ‘Childish’ in her nature and mannerisms. But she was your mum and you wouldn’t change her for anything. 

“I'm fine–I just–” You couldn't keep anything down to save your life right now, so when your body wanted to expel any form of bile it was just stomach acid and remnants of whatever you had most recently eaten. Your mother did her best to comfort you as you coughed and splatted your gagged in the kitchen sink for dear life, she could tell your body was weaker than it ever had been just from the way you trembled under her touch. 

It broke her heart to see you like this, so sick and fragile. You did well to hide it though, for what it was worth she thought you looked relatively healthy still. But it was still early on in your journey. 

“I'm so scared mum.” You cried out through gags as you stayed bent over the sink coughing and crying. This wasn’t fair, you had a family to think of, kids to watch grow, a husband to hopefully fall in love with all over again. How could whatever god was up there do this to you? Why did this happen? Why you? What had you done so wrong to deserve this untimely fate?

“It's okay I've got you baby.” Your mother cooed as she rubbed circles into your back with her open palm. “Im here, I’ve got you now, let's get you ready to go up to the hospital hey, you wanna take a shower or?” 

“Let me just brush my teeth–” You sighed as you spat into the sink to clear your throat. “I should ring Jake, make sure they got in safe.” 

“I'm sure they’re just fine, he’d call if there was a problem, let's just focus on you for once.” You didn't want to feel like you were neglecting your children but you already felt like you were. They were your entire world, putting yourself first just wasn't in your nature. But as you thought about calling, thought about just sending a text, you looked at your phone to see a missed call from Jake about twenty minutes prior and a few text to follow. 

:Lover: “Kids and I are here safe, ma’s on her fuck the ex campain already and dads nowhere to be seen.” 

:Lover: “Hope you're enjoying your kid free afternoon, safe flight tonight, text me when you get into Calgary.” 

You couldn't help but to smile as you pocketed your phone, you'd call Jake later once you were settled into your hospital room. Right now you just needed to finish packing, brush your teeth and get over to the hospital for your admission time. 

“He loves you so much.” Your mother reminded you as she followed you up to your room to help you finish packing. 

“I know he does.” You really weren't in the mood to be discussing the state of your marriage right now. “He deserves better, someone not riddled with cancer cells.” 

“Is that why you won't even consider the idea of getting back together?” Your mother was nearly flawed when you silently nodded in return. “Y/n, don't you dare–” Again, you didn't want to talk about it. Between Jake's mother not being your number one stan and your mother playing devil's advocate what seemed to be twenty four seven, you were just over everyone having an opinion. 

“Mum! He didn't care about me enough when I was healthy and happy and his wife! What makes you think he’ll care now that I’m literally dying!” You shouted as you threw a pair of extra soaks into your luggage bag. “It's not fair, none of this is, but I left him well before I got sick and me getting sick doesn't change the reason I left.” 

Your mother didn’t respond, all she did was stare at you worryingly from across your bedroom room in silence. It looked as if she was trying to figure something out, read your face, understand what was going on. Then, after a few short moments of silence she spoke. 

“Your father and I went through something very similar before he died.” Your parents had been divorced for three years before your dad died in an awfully unexpected car accident. It shattered your mum, you knew it did. “We never did get to a point where we could resolve our differences.” She explained softly as she walked over to help you pack the last few items. You let her help you fold some T-shirts, Jake's old T-shirts, as she spoke. “This past year watching you and Jake go around in circles about how much you both still love each other and how desperately he's willing to change in order to keep you is so infuriating because you, my baby girl, have already decided you're not worth loving because you’re unfortunately going through something I can't even begin to comprehend.” 

“He couldn't love me before mum.” You simply sighed in defeat, god it was like you were going around and around on a ferris wheel. “What makes you think this changes anything?” 

“That man has never stopped loving you Y/n, he just got a little lost, we all do.” 

“If you had a chance would you take dad back?” It was a question you'd never asked before purely because you were afraid the answer would be no. now? As you tried to navigate the best thing to do for yourself, you desperately hoped the answer would be yes. Perhaps then you wouldn't feel so torn about hating to love Jake Seresin and his ability to captivate your entire being. 

“Without a shadow of a doubt my dear.” You’d never seen your mother have to hold back tears so hard before in your life. She was watching her only daughter go through a battle she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy as well as trying to help you through your separation. Although sometimes unwarranted and unsolicited, she was still your mother. 

“Without a shadow of a doubt.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~**

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @mamachasesmayhem @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream @maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional l @jessicab1991 91 @hardballoonlove @senawashere @lafrone @fanficfandomlove ve @withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog @goldenseresinretriever @a-reader-and-a-writer @sunlightmurdock @shelbycillian @memoriesat30 @accioprocrastination @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes

[escapefromrealitysm]

Survive

Alex Karev x Sister!Reader

Summary: After many years, Alex meets his little sister again under unexpected circumstances

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: angst, accident, injuries, medically innacurate

Note: English isn’t my firs language, so I’m sorry if (when) you found mistakes.

It was hard to figure out Alex. If someone, she knew that the best from all. She was the closest to him, until they were separated to different foster family. That event unutterably shattered them. They were each other’s last promise of safety. That was ripped away from them, and there was nothing they could've done in order to stop that. Neither of them wanted a normal family if that meant that they have to go separate ways. But they had no voice in the matter. Was life ever fair though?

She wanted to be there for him, help him through his first heartbreak, celebrate his graduation with him. She wanted to cry on movies to have Alex laugh at her and maybe sometimes make him waffles.

At first they tried to keep in close touch, but the new forced family didn’t like their continous communication. So it was cut shortly.  The only thing that helped them stay a bit connected was their last name.

Alex didn’t talk about his sister. Not in his personal life, nor in the hospital. Although these two sometimes interwined. His sister was ripped away from him and that was something he couldn’t really process since then. And even if he wanted to talk about her to his friends and collegues, even then he couldn’t because he hadn’t heard about her since. Above that it was many years ago so he thought she wouldn’t even want to hear from him. They both believed this crap. So life went on and neither of them tried to find the other.

✦✧✦✧    ✦✧✦✧    ✦✧✦✧    ✦✧✦✧

The ambulance just rolled in with another case for the Grey- Sloan Memorial Hospital. The paramedics opened the door and immidiately started talking and informing the medical team about the patient and her injuries. Car accident. Fast tachycardia. Internal bleeding. Head and chest injuries. Severe fractures. Collapsed lung. Based on the shared informations it was clear to Owen, Meredith and Pierce that the female on the gurney, in her mid 20s was deep in the woods. They found out that her identity is yet unknown but the scene investigators were going to inform them based on the ID found in the wreck as soon as possible.

The team of three wheeled the patient into the ER and their number was increasing with other nurses and doctors. They were in need of more hands.

„Somebody page Shepherd!” was heard the instruction.

„Okay honey, what’s your name? Can you hear me?”- asked Price while focusing on the stetoscope’s sound. She never got an answer. The girl was out again by the end of the question. The entire room was in a rush, trying to work against time and minimalise the damage what the woman’s body’s suffered.

„We need a chest tube, now!”- and with that Owen got to it.

A nurse suddenly rushed into the room with Amelia who already started to assess the injured person’s condition.

„We have a name, age, blood type…”

As soon as the nurse took in the reaction to her past sentence she realised it would’ve been better if she doesn’t share the information before the surgery. Everyone froze when they heard what was the name. Meredith looked up, and locked her eyes with Owen’s, frowning. Y/N Karev. Karev. That couldn’t be. It must be accidental.

The medical team had to recover, she didn’t have much time. They did the urgent examinations, and headed to the OR, quickly. Even though they didn’t know for sure that Y/N was indeed a relative of Alex or not, they felt some sort of extra pressure, what they had to shut out as the OR door closed.

Some time later in the OR there was so much blood and there was still so much to do. They started doubt if they could stop the bleeding and get to the next task in time. Pierce was worried about Y/N’s heart. Didn’t know if it could take such a pressure for too long. They have to get back if she stabilised a bit. Although Amelia’s stopped the bleeding in the brain, she wanted another scan just to be sure. After some argument between the doctors they decided to close her up and let her rest a bit in the ICU.

Let her rest. But who is she? Meredith although was tired, but had to find Alex. She'd hoped that it’s some kind of misunderstanding. She walked on the long hallway of the hospital, her eyes were scanning the area, she wanted to find Karev. Since it was dark outside, maybe he has finished with his shift and took off with Jo already. No, that wouldn’t be great.

Suddenly at one of the corners they bumped into each other, she'd found Alex.

„What?” - He instantly knew something'd bothered Mer. By how she carried herself, and the look on her face.

„You look like you just saw a ghost.” He meant this as a joke, but his friend didn’t reacted to it like that.

She didn’t want to have this conversation in the middle of the hallway, hell, she didn't want to have this conversation at all, but she couldn’t hold the question in anymore.

„You don’t have a sister who I don’t know about, right?”- she asked desperately.

Alex was staring at his friend. He was expecting almost everything just not this. Why would she ask something like this?

„Wha– what are you talking about?” he was now panicking. Why would she asked something like this in the middle of her shift. It didn’t make sence.

„We just had a surgery on a girl. Her name’s Y/N. With your last name. She isn’t…”

And that was the moment when she knew she didn’t need Karev to answer her question anymore. He already did with his reaction.

He couldn’t think for a moment. He felt like the entire hospital started spinning, while his stomach was growing smaller.

„Where is she?” He felt like his heart was beating almost against his skin tissues while displacing his lungs and ribs out of the way.

„She is in the ICU for now, but Alex…” – he didn’t hear what she said after, because he started sprinting to the stairs leading to the named place. No, this couldn’t be. Sometimes he played with the thought what’d it be like to see her again, to talk to her for the first time in years. He was sure he would be nervous, yes. But he was confident to say that he wouldn’t have thought in his worst nightmare that their reunion would be something like this.

At the nurse station he got the direction to the asked patient’s room. He stepped through the sliding door, and there was no doubt anymore. He was in his sister’s hospital room.

Inside the room there were still nurses adjusting the machines and take her last vitals, but slowly they’d finished for now.

He couldn’t believe what he'd seen. She was so broken. At the first sight he noticed her head was shaved and bandaged. She was attached to a ventilator, covered in bruises and scratches. In his deep thoughts he didn’t even realise that the nurses’d left as well as Meredith was already by his side.

He had to sit down, or else his legs were going to give out.

He didn’t have to ask. He could see that Y/N’s situation was pretty bad. But he wanted to know the details. All of them. Whats up with her brain, how are her organs and limbs and how was and is their oxygen supply? How bad was the bleeding, how many more surgery will be necessary? How many bones were fractured? And who the fuck did this to her? He couldn’t decide which one to ask first if he was going to find his voice.

The doctor and friend standing beside him knew that he would want answers to his unasked questions. So she started to listing out loud what had happened before and during the life saving surgery. Told him who are his sister’s doctors, in case he wanted to get some more info. He had found out that one of the most concerning injuries affected her brain heavily.

Meredith knew exactly how does it feel to watch somebody you love on life support. Hear the ventilator do its job. And even if it’s part of their everyday life as a doctor, it doesn’t prepare them for the case when its not a person whom they know nothing about. She knew there was nothing she could say or do that’d make this easier for him. So she just stroked Alex’s shoulder to let him know that she was there for him, whatever was going to happen and assured him that later she’d send Amelia in, to inform him with the specific details. With that, she left the room.

Alex didn’t know what’d happened to her since he wasn’t a part of her life anymore. He didn’t know why she was in Seattle, hell he didn’t even know if she was going to make it. But he knew for sure that he was going to stay by her side and there isn’t anyone who could debar that this time.

He wouldn’t admit but he was afraid all along that there would be silence after everyone left him alone with his sister. But there wasn’t. He heard the late night traffic of the city, the sirens from the surrounding streets, the machines in the room, and his sobs as well. Even if he only wanted to hear his little sister’s voice.

[avocadoguru]

He was staring at her in a way no one had in her entire life. She couldn’t read anything in his eyes - not surprise, not fear, not malicious intent - nothing. (wolfrry, werewolf!harry, alpha!harry, ranger!y/n)

Lupus Noctis- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 10 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 11 (word count: 8k) -updated July 3rd

Harry had never cared less about appearing vulnerable to someone else. The amount of times Niall had seen him cry and cling to Y/N whilst whispering sweet nothings into her ear was well out of his comfort zone. But it didn’t even occur to him to mind.

It was like no one else existed.

Y/N was all that mattered. Her frail state that he could barely look at the first two days. Niall had told him not to, but he’d climbed next to her in the hospital bed. When he realized his friend was worried for his own injuries and that it would not affect his human, he completely disregarded his admonishments.

And Harry was aware that Niall had saved his life. He was lucky for such a friend as him and he would tell Niall as much once he got his mind in the right place. Once his human was up and talking and smiling again. But until then, he would sit by her side and talk to her, holding her hand and caressing her face, petting her hair. 

His own wounds would heal. He was okay but in pain, as his body had lost an almost fatal amount of blood. But he wasn’t thinking about that. He wasn’t worried about himself. He could endure the pain, the healing. He could endure the aftermath, his anger.

He’d not made his friend’s job easy. Niall had had to operate on him right there, next to Y/N, because he simply would not leave her sight. At Niall’s practice in the city, he set up two beds. One for Harry and one for Y/N. Lester helped aid him as much he could because time was of the essence with Harry. He was aware Y/N was too far gone to save but he did what he could in order to clean her up and close the wounds. Keeping her stable only prolonged the inevitable but Niall wouldn’t live with himself if he didn’t at least try. He knew it was of no use but he could stop her bleeding and get her to safety. That was all he could really offer.

For Harry, though. He was strong and could heal. He’d lost too much blood but he was a werewolf and his body would repair itself at a rate a human’s body would never be able to. So he cleaned and stitched, and stapled Harry’s wounds and broke him the news about his human. 

“No. She’s still alive. That means something. She’s not gone.”

“Harry…” Niall spoke softly and slowly knowing his friend had to hear the truth as awful as it was, “She’s not going to recover. I just want you to be prepared for this. Currently, her heart is still pumping but it’s getting weaker as the hours pass. Her lungs aren’t working and we’ve connected her to a ventilator so she can breathe but that just means her body is unable to function properly.”

He refused to believe she was dying. He was looking right at her, leaning over her body, his hands grasping her limp ones. She was only asleep. She was only unconscious and her body needed time. Just a little more time.

Niall went home every night to sleep in his own bed but he stayed with Harry as long as possible and he always returned the following morning with food for his friend.

He was worried about Harry. Not because of his injury, but because he wasn’t sure if Harry would be okay when Y/N’s body finally gave up. He was sure Harry would lose it. He was worried he’d go and get himself killed. The muttered words, “If she doesn’t come back to me I’m going to kill every fucking person that was involved,” told him as much. Niall was worried he’d lose his best friend.

The more time went on, the more desperate Harry became. While at first he’d just sat next to her bed, he’d ended up crawled next to her by the crack of dawn. If he barely could take in the sight of her at first, he was now scanning every inch of her as if to memorize her better. Barely daring to talk to her at first, he was now whispering right in her ear. Not for fear of being overheard. Again, he couldn’t give less of a fuck about how he appeared to Niall, Lester, or any of the nurses who came in during the night to check on Y/N. But as to be as gentle as possible with her, as to not startle her in her slumber, for he knew she was only asleep. 

He did hope she could hear him. Because he had a lot he wanted to tell her. Things he was desperate to get out, for fear he maybe wouldn’t get the chance to later on.

It wasn’t ideal, this wasn’t how he wanted this to happen. But he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “My love, please come back to me,” he murmured in her ear, not for the first time, not for the last time. “Please, I want to look into your pretty eyes again. Wish I’d told you how much I love your eyes before. I get so lost inside your eyes. Would you believe it? Or would you scoff and look away, thinking I was taking the piss? I don’t think you ever knew how far gone I was. I never showed you what you do to me. Not just my body, but my heart. Was too afraid to. Like a fucking coward. I wish I could take it back, wish I could show you just how much you’ve meant to me all along. Wish I could’ve seen your eyes when I first told you I loved you, no, when I sobbed it, when Niall brought us in and finally left us alone after he poked at my injuries for what felt like hours. It’s not that I didn’t want him to hear, hell, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. Mountain tops. I’ll howl it to the moon. I just… I wanted your ears to hear it first. I love you. You’re my mate. I’ve known from the start. I wish I could’ve told you. I wish there’d been a better way. Wish I’d been braver. Anything. Anything but this. Anything but you in this bed. Anything but you so weak and in pain, and–”

Harry buried his face in the crook of her neck and allowed himself to sob once more. He’d not cried since he was an infant, as children do, but he could physically feel his heart breaking. It was unbearable. If he held onto her tight enough, she couldn’t leave him. Right? 

“Everyone left. My parents. My brother. Don’t leave me too. Not when I finally found you. Not when you finally know. Not when I know that… you love me too… I know you do. Tell me you do, Y/N. Please. Please open those pretty eyes, and move those pouty lips and tell me. I swear I’ll not want for anything ever again. And if you don’t… That’s… that’s ok, too,” he sniffled, pulling away a bit and wiping his tears away from her skin. “Just wake up. If I’m wrong, and you don’t want to see me again, if… if seeing me was too much, is too much… I swear I’ll understand. I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll get lost forever if that’s what you want. Just please… wake up. Please.”

On the morning of day three, Niall came in with bagels and fruit. And it was no surprise when he saw Harry sitting next to her in bed. After assessing the scene and finding that Y/N was still alive he greeted Harry, “Hey, morning.”

Harry turned to look at his friend and ticked his head in a nod before bringing his full attention back to Y/N as he continued speaking in whispers to her. Private confessions. Promises. Declarations. Apologies. Supplications. The sort of things one whispers to a loved one on their deathbed.

“Got bagels and some spreads. Some bananas and melon too. It’ll be over here if you’d like any,” Nialll placed the food on the table he’d been using to eat on next to the window. 

Harry was a little hungry. He hadn’t eaten all that much in the few days since the fight. He hadn’t really been that hungry. But his body was healing well and now it was asking for some sustenance. 

Lifting his head he turned to face Niall, “Yeah. I think I’ll eat,” he stood from his chair and walked to the table selecting his bagel and a packet of butter as Niall watched him closely, “What?”

“Just… I’m glad you’re eating first thing. That’s good news. You’re healing well I think-”

“I don’t give a fuck about me. I know I’m fine. That makes all this so much worse!” He gestured around the room.

Niall nodded, “Yeah. I know. I just mean, for me. You know? You’re my friend. I’m just glad, is all.”

Harry was chewing into the bagel as he nodded, keeping his eyes on his friend. Swallowing down his bite he looked across the room to Y/N then back to Niall, “You’re a great friend, Niall.”

Harry took his usual quick nap once he’d finished eating the bagel. He would stay up all night with his eyes on his mate to watch for anything. He refused to sleep since Niall wasn’t there to check on her. He couldn’t risk being asleep if anything happened to her and no one else could watch over her, even with an overnight nurse present in the practice in the doctor’s absence.

Niall hoped against hope that, somehow, she would wake up. That she would be okay so that his friend would also be okay. He knew it was just about impossible, but if she didn’t wake up Harry would get himself killed by trying to avenge her.

After the last patient had left and Niall was shutting everything down he heard Harry calling for him. Niall took a deep breath, imagining the worst as he turned into the room the pair were in.

But it was the opposite of what Niall had thought. The patient monitor was showing a stronger heartbeat and slightly higher blood pressure. He scratched his head as he looked at the vitals on the screen and immediately pulled his stethoscope over his ears and held her wrist as he placed the chest piece over her heart to check the stats for himself. 

He looked up at Harry who had an expectant, hopeful expression on his face.

But Niall was confused. How? He double-checked her heart rate and swallowed, “I… She’s getting stronger. But I don’t know what this means. Um, I should stay the night. We can take shifts-”

“No. You can sleep if you need to. I’m gonna stay right here with her,” Harry spoke as he looked over his human and took her hand into his, “You’re doing so good, Y/N.”

Niall put on a pot of coffee and continued monitoring her as Harry stayed by her side. But the night didn’t change her status. She still had a stronger heartbeat and that was good. But no improvements were notable by the time Niall laid down to shut his eyes for a bit. His friend was glued to Y/N’s side. 

After Niall had fallen asleep Harry paced the room a bit. His nerves were getting to him. She’d gotten stronger suddenly and Niall was surprised by that. The not knowing what was to come was hard. Harry was used to being in situations where he could pretty well foresee the outcome because he was the one calling the shots. But this was different. Y/N’s life hung in the balance and he had no way of forcing his hand in this. It was up to fate. To chance. 

When the sun slowly drizzled into the room, golden first light hues scattered over her face as Harry sat by her side. Even asleep she was beautiful. Even with a tube in her throat. With a bandage on her neck, scratches on her face. 

“Good morning, Y/N. Sun’s up. Where are you? Are you coming back today, my love?”

Seconds after Harry whispered his words the patient monitor sounded with an alarm and Harry stood up quickly to see what had caused it. Rapidly increased heart rate.

Niall was quick to jump out of bed and take over but before he could pick up his stethoscope she moved. Her neck turned and her brow furrowed and Harry inhaled a sharp breath as he watched his mate come back to life. 

Quickly snapping on his gloves, Niall carefully pulled the tube from her throat, “She’s breathing. Respiratory waveform is active. I may need to reintubate but she’s breathing!”

Harry didn’t know what Niall was talking about but he didn’t care. It was all good news to him. She was moving and wincing as the tube was pulled out. Once it was tossed to the side Y/N began to cough and her scratched throat and trachea sounded like she had laryngitis but Harry was smiling and his heart was pounding in his chest.

“Y/N!” He pulled her hand into his and squeezed as she slowly blinked her eyes open. When her vision cleared and Harry came into sight she startled and yanked her arm away from him, eyes wide and looking around the room. 

The smile fell from Harry’s face at her reaction to him but figured that was deserved. He was just happy she was with him. She was awake. She was alive.

Niall quickly adjusted the settings on the monitor so the alarms would stop and then he looked her over, “Y/N. You’re in my clinic right now. You’re recovering from an injury. Do you know who I am?”

She tried using her vocal cords but winced and coughed, “It’s okay. You don’t need to use your voice right now. You had a tube in your throat and you’ll be a bit sore and uncomfortable for a bit. Just nod or shake your head to answer.”

She nodded slowly and scrunched her face in pain.

“She’s hurting, Niall!” Harry spoke quickly. Her little body was in pain. He could tell.

Niall pulled an IV and inserted the appropriate amount of narcotic to put into her bloodstream to ease her pain, “I know, Harry. One thing at a time, man. She’s just becoming conscious.”

Harry could feel warm tears begin to fill his eyes and blur his vision but now that she was breathing, and looking around the room, he didn’t want her to see him falling apart. Now that she was back he knew he needed to stay strong for her. He quickly exited the room so he could let himself feel the sadness and joy heave from his body. He leaned into the wall and tilted his head back to look upward as he clutched over his pounding heart causing the tears to drip into his ears and on his neck. 

If Harry didn’t need Niall he’d have strangled him then and there when he re-entered the room after collecting himself and seeing Y/N was back asleep. 

“I had to sedate her! She was in too much pain!”

Harry kept it together upon hearing that. “But she will wake up again. Right?!”

“Absolutely. She’s… I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but she’s on the mend. She’s getting better. It’s only uphill from here, man. Listen, I know you wanted to talk to her… but she was struggling, I could tell. Another round of IVs and she should wake up way smoother next time. Plus, she’s breathing all on her own! Look!”

And Harry was looking. He’d not taken his eyes off of her. Niall had better been right about this, otherwise he’d never forgive himself the mistake of stepping out for the brief moment she was awake. But he didn’t want her to see him fall apart like that. He needed to be strong for her. Needed to reassure her. Brighten her up.

He hoped he hadn’t missed his shot.

*

Niall decided to sleep at the practice again that night, knowing Y/N would probably wake up and he wanted to be there to give her proper medical care and make sure Harry didn’t accidentally smother her back into a coma. He kept that thought to himself, along with his other suspicions regarding her sudden, and quite miraculous recovery, at that.

Instead, he tried distracting his friend who seemed even more impatient for her to wake up than before, “She’s a fighter, your Y/N.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile at that, ungluing his eyes from her frame. He sat on a chair on the side of her bed when Niall was in the room, mostly so he could prod at her freely. 

Niall was very pleased with her vitals. She was almost fully recovered, judging by all her stats. The bloodwork had come back almost impeccable. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was a scientific miracle. It kind of was, in a way. But Harry wasn’t questioning it at all. Maybe to him it didn’t seem like such a miracle, with all the pleading he’d been doing for her to get better, it was like all his prayers had been answered. He didn’t have the medical knowledge to grasp the uniqueness of the situation.

“She always has been, you know. Brave little thing.” He told Harry how she had gone looking for him that night and found Niall at his apartment and how he knew she didn’t buy his story about taking over the lease. He’d called Lester the very next morning to tell him that Y/N was concerned about Harry being missing and Lester told him that she was in danger and he was on his way. Lester knew not to trust Harry’s pack. He knew something wasn’t right. He’d been around long enough to know what was what in that world.

“And then Lester said that as he was leaving the house and saying goodbye to Alma, Edward growled and pounced on him to get him to wait and that’s when he shifted back. No one expected it but it happened. So Lester, Alma, and Edward all made the trip together because Edward wanted to help. Then I tried calling her and texting her so I could warn her but by then it was too late. And that’s when I found her apartment door open and her purse left behind.”

Y/N had been smart to go searching for Harry. If she hadn't, Niall might have not known he was missing because it wouldn’t be uncommon for Harry and Niall to go a week or two without talking. And both she and Harry might be dead at that moment if not for Lester and Niall’s intervention. 

Lester’s sway amongst the leaders of the packs was wide-reaching. He threatened to call on reinforcements if Harry’s pack didn’t offer a trial (which they weren’t going to at first). So, as grim as the current outcome had been, it would have been worse if Niall and Lester weren’t there to help.

But it had all started with Y/N. She’d been worried about him, even mad that he’d gone missing, again. 

Eventually, Niall left the room to nap in his office and Harry was once more alone with his little human. Knowing she was definitely going to wake up again now made him focus on how he was going to fix this mess. He wasn’t foolishly assuming she’d forgive him and want him back, even though he did know that she loved him too. He’d seen it in her eyes when he was about to fight that scumbag for his life. 

Be that as it may, he knew that didn’t equate to her wanting him in her life necessarily. What she’d witnessed was hard to accept. What he’d kept from her was hard to come to terms with. And she was fragile now. She needed space, he knew. But he wasn’t going to leave her out of his sight no matter how much she opposed it. He was going to bring her back home and assure her he would give her space, the space she needed to figure things out whilst recovering safely. 

He didn’t trust her alone at her own place. Sure, he’d earned their freedom from the pack but there were still loose ends he needed to trim. Like Irina. Harry hadn’t forgotten about her and her complicity in all of this. She was going to have to pay, too. But that was for later. For now, he was focusing on Y/N and her safety, and he didn’t trust his former pack, especially Irina, not to try and get to them again. They were conniving, double-crossing fiends, and even after earning his freedom fair and square he was still expecting some sort of retaliation. 

His plan was for them to move away for good as soon as she made a full recovery. Granted she still wanted him, of course. He had no plan for the eventuality that she would kick him to the curb. He couldn’t even ponder that option. 

But Lester’s offer was all the more appealing now. And he knew she loved it there on his farm too. Maybe that could be their new home. Anywhere she wanted. As long as they were together.

Just then, he felt her stir, and he climbed off the bed gently and sat on the chair next to her bed. He didn’t want to suffocate her with his proximity. Didn’t want to give her the impression that he was assuming anything. But he still held her hand, he just couldn’t let go. He didn’t need the monitor to feel her heartbeat pick up and know she was waking up, and he saw Niall approach from the corner of his eye, his watch alerting him of the changes on the monitor.

“She might be a little woozy ‘cause of the higher dose of painkillers I gave her. So don’t worry about that.”

Harry nodded and squeezed her hand in his gently, “Y/N? Are you awake, kitten? C’mon. Open those pretty eyes for us.”

And open them she did. Fluttering eyelashes gave way for her lovely irises in which Harry had feared he’d never see his reflection again. 

Both men smiled widely at her compliancy and Niall brought a tall tumbler of water to her lips, “Need to lubricate your throat a bit, Y/N; have a sip, please?”

She looked up at him and gave the faintest of nods, and he took it as his cue to hold the straw steady as she puckered her lips around it and began drinking out of the glass slowly. She winced at first, taking the first few gulps, her throat sore no doubt, but she finished the glass in its entirety which prompted Harry to squeeze her hand once more and coo, “Good girl.”

Her heart rate picked up a bit at that and Niall gave him a sly smile, but Harry was too enthralled watching his little human to notice. She rested her head back against the pillow, the strain in her neck keeping her head up getting to her. Niall fluffed the sides of her pillows a bit to give her even more support and smiled at her, “You’re doing so well, Y/N. You’re recovering beautifully. Would you mind trying to talk to us a bit? I know it’s a bit uncomfortable and your throat must still be sore, but I know someone is dying to hear your voice again.”

Harry kicked his friend in the ankle at that. He had no business putting that kind of pressure on her and Niall got the message loud and clear, but she seemed to miss the interaction altogether and opened up her mouth to try and get some words out. “How…” she frowned at the sound of her own groggy voice, and tried clearing her throat but it came out the same, “How long was I…?”

“A few days. Nothing major. Don’t worry about that. You’ve made a full recovery, so nothing to worry about whatsoever! You still have some scarring that will fade but I guarantee there will be no marks left to tell for them. And of course, you need to build your strength back, but at the pace you’re going, you should be on your feet as soon as tomorrow!”

Harry shot up his eyebrows to Niall’s statement as he watched him prod at her further, making her follow a small light he fished out of his breast pocket and then asking her more questions to assess her reflexes and awareness. Wasn’t that a bit too optimistic? He’d never heard of anyone making such a speedy recovery waking up from a coma. He didn’t want Niall to create false expectations for her.

“In fact, I’m discharging you today!”

Y/N was just as surprised as Harry to hear that she was going to be ok to leave so soon. She had no idea how long she’d been out of it exactly, but she disliked hospitals as much as the next person, so she was glad for it.

“Now… I know this is a sensitive subject, so I’m going to step out and leave you two to it, but I’m going to have to need you to tell me if you want me to send over a nurse to look after you for a day or two at home, or if you’re comfortable with nurse Harry over here,” Niall nudged over to his friend. “There’s really nothing special he needs to do, just make sure you take your meds on time and keep an eye on you, make sure you make no sudden movements, make sure you hydrate and feed yourself properly, you’re still going to need to sleep as much as possible so it’s easy to lose track of all that yourself.”

Y/N made to say something but stammered, trailing off and Niall took it as his cue to leave the room, but not before praising her for her recovery again, “You’re doing great, Y/N. I’m so happy to see you on the mend. Had us worried for a moment there, but you’re a fighter.” 

Harry watched his friend close the door behind him and then turned back to look at his little human and found her eyes already on him. He was still holding her hand, running his thumb over her skin in soft strokes all along, and he took one more look at the sight of her small hand in his before he removed himself in order to give her the space she needed to make the decision.

He looked back at her then and his heart soared at the sight. He didn’t know whether it was the drugs she was on, but the brazen look in her eyes and the way she didn’t shy away from his as she sometimes did had his own heart pounding against his ribcage. For the first time ever, he didn’t know how to approach her. She intimidated him. A feeling so foreign to him. He didn’t think anyone had ever made him look away, stare him down to the point where he had to break eye contact. Surely it was the guilt he felt, he reasoned. 

“Are you alright?” she whispered as to not strain her vocal cords. Her voice sounded more like her old self when she did that, she found.

Again, Harry felt his heartbeat pick up at her concern for him. “I am now. How are you feeling? Are you hurting?”

She shook her head slightly, “I feel fine. It’s like I just woke up from a deep sleep. But I remember the pain…” she winced at the thought, and Harry made to grab her hand in his again but stopped himself just short of.

Instead, she stretched her arm ever so slightly and grazed his hand with the back of her fingers. Both of them watched intently as their fingers intertwined. Harry couldn’t fight the urge to raise their conjoined hands to his lips and kiss hers. “I was so afraid I’d lost you,” he murmured against her soft skin, his brows furrowed and eyes shut tightly.

She understood all the different meanings to his statement and wanted to say the same. But she needed more time. She needed to clear her head a bit. But she also needed him, that she knew for sure. She didn’t want to go home without him. Not after she thought she was going to lose him, herself. No. She wanted him near. “So take me home, nurse Harry.” 

*

Y/N felt exhausted by the time Harry had brought her back to his house. He’d carried her all the way, to and from his car, and she could’ve sworn she felt his heart threatening to break free from his chest as she laid her head atop of it, in his arms. She’d never seen him drive that slow, avoiding every little pothole just so she could be as comfortable as possible for the small journey to his house. She knew they needed to talk and clear the air, but she didn’t have the energy for it quite yet. She was happy he was alive, and she allowed herself to bask in that feeling. 

She’d asked him to run her a bath, the sponge baths the nurses had been apparently giving her had left her sufficiently clean but she felt like she needed to really soak and preferably wash her hair too. Harry wasn’t too sure about that, though. He wanted to give her space, but this could be too dangerous for her still weakened state. He didn’t want to push it and suggest he get into the tub with her, but he told her he’d be standing by the whole time and wash her hair for her, and she agreed to it.

He tried looking away when she undressed, and he even helped her to an extent, but then he reasoned he needed to assess how her bruising and scarring was developing. He was pleasantly surprised to see her skin was barely tainted.

And Y/N was very aware of his eyes on her, on the way his blood quickened in his veins, could almost guarantee he’d stiffened in his pants at the sight of her bare body before him, but she couldn’t act on it as much as her own body was responding to their closeness. She needed time. Her body needed time, too, not just her heart and her mind.

He helped her climb into the tub and sink into the perfectly warm water and Harry sat on the floor next to it and leaned on the margin, looking at her through bubbles, content to have her safe in his presence. Content to know she wasn’t in any pain. He didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky. It seemed like a miracle that she was awake, let alone able to do all this so rapidly. 

But he didn’t want to tell her how close he’d been to losing her. Didn’t want to tell her how worried Niall had been and adamant she wasn’t going to wake up. Didn’t want to tell her that he’d been prepping himself for losing her for good, telling her all he had weighing heavy on his heart.

They sat in silence, and it was perfect. She was there. She was alive and well. And she’d not told him to get lost. His heart was hopeful.

Eventually, he helped her wash her hair, sitting on the edge of the tub behind her. He was extra gentle, and she hummed deeply at how good it must’ve felt. He was happy he could make her feel better, in any way.

And later, when she let him dress her in one of his shirts to bed, his heart soared. He wanted so badly to kiss her, just a soft peck. Just to be close, and communicate how he felt. But he wouldn’t push it. Her hair was still damp but the look in her eyes had gone soft and hazy, and he knew her energy was running low. He gave her her meds and helped her in bed, and then stood there stupidly, unsure what to do.

“Are you not tired?”

He nodded. He was exhausted. He’d barely slept for all those days, and he was still recuperating himself from fatal injuries. Of course, being a werewolf, his recovery was expedited, but he still felt weak. Above his physical injuries though was his mental exhaustion. He’d worried so much for her that he was now feeling it all catch up to him. 

“Will you hold me, then? I know you’re injured, too, so only if–”

She didn’t even have time to finish that sentence before Harry was undressing and climbing into bed behind her. He’d kept his boxers on- again, boundaries. But he tentatively reached for her soft body and pulled her into his chest, holding her to him.

Her own hands grabbed on to his arm and she nuzzled closer against him as he spooned her, “I just know I couldn’t fall asleep without your scent all around me,” she mumbled, already so close to falling asleep.

He’d not had time to shower himself that day, so hopefully it wasn’t off-putting for her. But he’d get that done in the morning. As well as cook for them, his appetite was growing now that all was well in the world again. And, well, he’d have to do something about the erection he was trying to keep from pressing into her. He was determined to give her the space she needed and that meant keeping his urges at bay. 

He was so happy she was in his arms, he felt like crying from happiness. It was hard refraining from smothering her in his affections when she was right there, pressed against his chest.

“Oh…” she gasped softly. “Is that… are you purring?”

Harry froze and immediately stopped, “‘m sorry, thought you’d fallen asleep…”

“No, no. Don’t stop. I like it. Please keep doing it?”

Harry didn’t even have to force himself to, just hearing her asking him to purr had him doing so naturally. It felt incredible to be able to do so freely, after having to hide it from her for so long. His natural reaction to her proximity when he felt happy and warm and fuzzy. 

She giggled. Harry smiled widely at the feel of her trembling in delight in his arms, and it spurred him further, tightening his arms around her a bit more, still careful not to harm her in any way though. “This feels amazing…” she trailed off, drifting into unconsciousness. Harry agreed wholeheartedly.

*

Harry had woken her up at around 6am to give her her meds, then before she could drift back to sleep he told her he’d be stepping out very briefly in the morning to restock their fridge so he could cook something for them, as promised, making a point out of how he’d be back before she’d even wake up but in case she needed anything, anything at all, she was to call him ASAP. 

But she was feeling fine, in fact, she’d used the bathroom before going back to sleep all on her own, no need for him to help her to the ensuite, she was just very tired still.

So when she woke up later, she didn’t really need to go downstairs and check to know that Harry was not back yet. In fact, he’d probably just left since his scent was still lingering pretty heavily around her. Plus she couldn’t smell any cooking taking place.

Still, just to be sure, she got out of bed and decided to go inspect. She was feeling… surprisingly fresh and reinvigorated. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d woken up so well-rested. She couldn’t believe she’d suffered any injuries, she was feeling fine. More than fine. 

Strange.

But she wasn’t gonna complain about it. She did feel hungry though, so she was hoping Harry would be back soon from grocery shopping and she was determined to convince him to let her help. She had a burst of energy and couldn’t imagine being made to lay in bed for one more day.

She still felt like this house had way too many rooms. Was way too big. Who needed all this space?! She liked it, she really did, but she much preferred the cosiness of her own home. That was probably what was wrong with it, this just felt like a house, not like a home.

It hadn’t been lived in all that long, to be sure. But still. Passing by a spare guest room she suddenly stopped in her tracks.

She furrowed her brows, following the overwhelming scent she was picking up on, coming from that room.

She’d expected it to be a laundry room with the kind of scent she was picking up on, but there were no hampers lying around the room. It all smelled of brand new furniture, except for one specific chest of drawers. 

Approaching it, she reluctantly opened up the uppermost drawer, on a whim. 

Her eyes rounded in shock. She gingerly picked one of the several pairs of panties. Not just any panties, but her very own. Her very own used panties. 

She dropped them back and took a step back, incredulous laughter escaping her lips that she then covered, still in shock. “...Holy shit!”

Maybe she should’ve found it repulsive, she reasoned, but to her dismay she found this was turning her on for some reason. She didn’t know what it was about her discovery, but it awakened something in her, something very… primal. 

But she didn’t really have time to contemplate this when she heard the faint sound of a car door. The huge, semi furnished house must’ve had quite the echo if she could hear him out front when she was on the other side of the house entirely.

Nonetheless, she decided to bring it up later, use it to her advantage somehow, the idea sending a thrill through her body.

For now, she needed to eat. She was truly ravenous. 

She made her way into the kitchen, just in time for Harry to emerge with the groceries. He was being very careful and quiet in his movements, but she noticed him rush to the kitchen after he’d entered the house, almost as if he knew she’d be there.

“What are you doing here!?”

She shrugged, “Waiting for you. I’m hungry, you said you’d be quick.”

Harry didn’t know whether to be annoyed or glad. He was happy she was feeling good enough to get out of bed, happy she was hungry, but he’d told her to take it easy. “I told you to call if you needed something!”

“Why? I knew you were probably on your way back, and I don’t exactly need anything. But you’re letting me help.”

Harry placed the groceries on the island, taking her in. She was quite sassy all of a sudden. Again, there was something about the way she was looking at him. Something was just… different. Like she was challenging him, more than before. She was never the meek and obedient kind, and that’s one of the things he liked about her, but now… she’d amped it up a notch. Or two.

And he liked it.

“Is that so?”

She nodded. “Are we making eggs benedict?”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, his lips quirking up in a smile. “I am. You’re gonna wait on the couch all snuggled up.”

Y/N frowned, “But I’m tired of lying around! How long was I even out for, I feel like my muscles need a good stretch! Could we go for a swim later? Besides, you went for a jog yourself, don’t be selfish!”

Harry was taking all of this in, trying to process what she was saying. He wasn’t all that familiar with human recovery, but this sounded out of the ordinary, even to him.

“It was just a quick run before I headed out. I’ll have to check with Niall and see if he approves. He told me to make sure you take it easy.”

“Yeah, nurse Harry, I remember. But surely swimming isn’t too strenuous… I just wanna stretch my limbs a bit.”

Harry had a different idea as to how he could help her with that but he kept it to himself. For now. Especially with how he was certain he could smell hints of arousal on her. But he knew he couldn’t dream of pursuing that idea until they had a serious talk about what had happened. And he was waiting for her to initiate that conversation. For now, he had to burn off his pent-up energy by doing things out of character, like jogging. He would’ve skipped it had he known she’d be up so soon. For as long as he’d known her, Y/N had never been a morning person. And now especially, she should’ve been still in bed, recovering. But it was barely 9am and here she was, giving him lip that early in the morning.

“I just don’t know where,” she mumbled while she started unpacking the groceries. “Can’t exactly go back to the preserve…”

Harry furrowed his brows even deeper watching her unpack the groceries. His mind was racing, trying to make sense of it all. “How did you know I was planning on eggs benedict?”

Y/N shrugged, “Guess I had a hunch? Oh, crap. The hollandaise is dripping!”

Harry approached her side to inspect the jar, luckily not much had dribbled down the side of it, “Yeah, I opened it up to check if it was any good otherwise I’d have had to make it from scratch. The lid must’ve unscrewed on the way here…”

Part of him wondered if she’d smelled the sauce, and that’s what had given it away, but there was no way she could smell that tiny bit that had dribbled out of the jar. He could smell it now, of course, being as close as he was to the opened bag, but had he been able to get a whiff of it earlier he’d have secured the lid in place.

Y/N was having a hard time with him so close to her. He smelled delicious, all manly after his jog. She felt like burying her nose into his neck and forgetting all about breakfast. Suddenly she had a different appetite that needed sating. And then there was the tiny detail about him collecting her discarded panties…

No sooner did she finish even thinking about that, that Harry pulled away as if electrocuted and she watched him take a few tentative steps back. “What’s wrong?”

“I just remembered I’m long overdue a shower, I must reek. I’ll be quick, please don’t start without me, alright? Turn on the TV or something, sit.”

She rolled her eyes and watched him rush for the staircase. Fine. She’d wait. 

Harry had not allowed himself any reprieve since this whole nightmare had started. The first good night’s sleep he’d gotten was that very night, with Y/N safe and sound in his arms, in his bed. The jog earlier that morning was meant to help him blow off some steam, but Y/N’s proximity was making it very hard for him to ignore his urges, especially when he most definitely smelled hints of arousal on her.

He was determined to keep it in check for her sake, and aside from the fact that he really did need to shower, quite desperately so, he was also going to jerk off to clear his head a bit.

He came way too fast, and very hard since he’d not released in over a week. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d gone so long without. Probably not since he’d first masturbated as a teenager, which was saying something. But it left him unsatisfied. He needed more. He huffed his frustration but then heard a loud knock on the ensuite door. He turned the shower off so he could hear her properly, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“You tell me! It sounded like you were in pain, are you alright?!” a very distraught Y/N could be heard from the other side. Harry frowned. Surely he hadn’t been that loud when he came. And the water should’ve muffled it. 

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine.” He quickly grabbed a towel, placing it around his hips and holding it together in his fist as he emerged from the ensuite, taking in the distressed look on her face.

But her look of distress quickly morphed into something else. He could visibly see her eyes darken as she unashamedly scanned him head to toe, her hungry gaze following the path the water droplets were making on their way down his body.

She took a step closer, then, to his surprise. He was already hardening again just taking in her own body’s response to his. And Harry definitely noticed the way her eyes widened when they reached the way he was tenting his towel, even held snug around his hips as it was.

And he could definitely smell her arousal, too. She must’ve been dripping with how potent it was. Harry was in limbo, frozen in place waiting for her to do something, anything. He knew she desperately wanted him, just as much as he wanted her, but he wasn’t going to push her. Not when he knew there was so much to–

His throat went dry immediately when her eyes traveled back up to meet his. Her eyes. It couldn’t be…

“I, uh, I forgot something in the car! Be right back!” he stammered, clutching his towel tightly as he made his way downstairs in a rush, all wet and slippery on the marble floor.

He not only went outside, but surpassed his car parked out front, and instead circled the property all the way to the furthermost corner of the expansive garden. He’d made sure to grab his phone first from the kitchen island where he’d left it, and dialed Niall’s number as soon as he was as far away from the house as he could get, given his state of undress.

An amused voice sounded from the other end when Niall finally picked up, “So… did you figure it out, yet?”

Chapter 12

A/N: (@fkinavocado and @gurugirl here) What do you think this all means for Harry & Y/N? Did you vote correctly?

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[seresinhangmanjake]

now that i have you

dad!Jake "Hangman" Seresin x reader

Summary: It's time you and Jake tell your daughter the truth about who her father is. Jake just hopes she can show forgiveness so the three of you can be what he's always wished to have: a family.

warnings: nothing really. mistakes likely.

Notes: this is the second and final part of Your Way Back to Me, which is an Oh, Baby AU. You don't need to read Oh, Baby to read this two-part fic.

words: 2600

---

She wasn’t confused; that was what Jake noticed first. Despite the closeness between his body and yours, the surely obvious connection of your energies, Eve’s face remained blank. He figured maybe she was tired, weak, disoriented from where she was and how she ended up there, but no. She proved rather quickly to be alert, aware, and remembering. And yet, unnoticing of the deep unbreakable bond he shared with her mother. Odd for someone so perceptive. 

She held on to your hand as tightly as you did hers. And from that, Jake realized there was a mutualness there. You both far surpassed the titles of mother and daughter. You were friends, caretakers of one another, protectors to the best of your abilities. Made equals to support each other in the absence of a husband and father. 

There was a pang in his chest. He wanted to be equal with you and his daughter. He wanted to be a part of his family. He so wished to easily slip into the role he’d never known belonged to him until you walked back into his life. But that potentially was a long road to be traveled; one that would blend into the horizon rather than show a clear end.

To Jake’s surprise, once you were positive Eve was fine and you were reassured of her safety, you didn’t wait a second longer. You stared right into the green of her eyes—of his eyes—and bared the truth before her.

“Jake is your father.”

He waited for the widening of eyes; a jaw dropping; an involuntary cough, maybe, to help keep her breathing moving along after momentarily forgetting how to do so. But again, no. 

Instead, Eve looked between you and him and you again—her stare lasting just a touch longer on Jake’s stunned face. Then she said, “I know.” But when neither you nor Jake responded, entirely frozen from the shock Eve forced upon you both with those two little words, she continued. “I mean, I’ve…suspected.”

You were the first to shake yourself out of your rigid state. “H-How is that possible?”

Eve’s eyes slid over to Jake. 

He did his best to pull himself back to the surface for her, his daughter. She needed him put back together—brain wiring untangled—in order to acknowledge whatever she was about to say. And he just barely had himself reconnected to the moment when Eve’s lips finally parted. 

“You approved my leave the weekend my grandmother was in an accident and ended up in the hospital,” she said and Jake nodded, recalling the worry on her face when she approached him two months prior. “When I went home after visiting the hospital, I looked for the family album.” 

Beside him, Jake could see you slouch slightly in your seat, as if you already knew what was coming, and feared it. 

“I just wanted to see old pictures of her,” she spoke to her mother. “But I found the photos you had tucked in the back. The ones of the two of you.” With a nudge of her head Jake’s way, she said, “There’s one of you in uniform. And I was always told my father was a pilot.”

Everyone took a breath to soak it in. Each breath different. Yours deep and long, Eve’s surprisingly stable, and Jake’s too shallow to truly qualify as a breath. 

His girl had known. For a while now. And she’d never said a word, but rather kept it bottled inside. Another occasional habit of Jake’s that he could now see he’d passed down to his child. He’d have preferred that not to be the case. But maybe she would grow out of it one day. Jake had, after all. His emotions struggled to hide after you’d told him how you felt about him all those years ago. He no longer wanted to keep them locked away, anyway. But when you left in the dead of night, he didn’t have a choice. Those emotions came flooding out of him. Relentless and unbearable. And there was no putting a cap back on that bottle.

Jake then tried to think back, shuffling through his more recent memories. He only found further confirmation of the behavior he wished his daughter had not inherited. 

Not once did he notice the most miniscule of shifts in Eve’s demeanor over the last couple of months. Because, it seemed—even looking at her now—that she really hadn’t changed with the news. Perhaps it was also due to their established relationship. He’d treated her like his daughter from the second he was smacked upside the head with the reality of her potential. Realizing she was like him, with her drive and stubbornness and wit, brought out the fatherly nature he’d deep down always sensed within. In the presence of her pure talent, he felt at home. And if painful circumstances hadn’t taken away his chance to be with the woman he’d never ceased loving, the woman he’d hoped to share children with, he would’ve much earlier fulfilled his instinct to guide and care and protect. Eve was the closest thing, so he’d held on to that bond with a fist so tight, nails could’ve punctured the skin of his palm. 

“We’re similar in a lot of ways,” Eve said to her newly found father, drawing him out of his thoughts. She was quite good at that. Then she shrugged in her seated position atop the hospital bed. “It made sense.”

“You…” you began, but there was a halting of your voice. Jake grabbed your hand as you swallowed. “You never said anything.”

There it is, Jake thought, glancing at his daughter after your words settled around the three of you. Eve’s mouth, shoulders, spine, slumped just a bit. The first hint of real emotion to show since you and Jake arrived at the hospital to see her. It was in there somewhere.

She looked down at her hands, picking at her thumbnail. A nervous habit. Your habit. “I didn’t want to be told I was wrong,” she said. 

In that very simple statement, Jake heard the voice not of a grown woman, but a little girl. A little girl sad and scared of how much the truth might break her heart. Santa Claus isn’t real. Your favorite cartoon characters don’t exist outside of your television. You still don’t know who your father is. 

She wanted to be right, Jake understood then. She wanted it to be him. 

He wished to hop out of his seat and wrap her up in his arms, hold her close, whisper promises that he was there for her now and would always be, but he held himself back. If Jake knew anything, it was that too much emotion at once could throw someone over the edge. For a girl who now looked ready to cry but unwanting to do so, a simple hug could very well be enough to make her explode with sobs. He wasn’t sure. So he didn’t risk it. 

You leaned forward in your seat, and Jake released your hand so you could give both to your daughter. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”

Eve nodded. When she looked up, the tears seemed closer. Eyes slightly redder. “You had your reasons?” was asked with a detectable twinge of hope.

“Yes,” you replied, running one of those hands up and down her, thankfully, undamaged arm. “But they aren’t good enough. I loved your father when I left him. And I left him in the worst way.” 

Knowing you as well as he did, Jake didn’t have to look at your face to know that you weren’t able to hold out as long as Eve. Tears of your own were running down your cheeks. 

“The truth of it, sweetheart, is that we could have been together—” you continued, pushing through noticeable discomfort, “all of us—if I had just taken a moment to…breathe. But I was so scared that I’d forgotten how. And it didn’t occur to me that your father, and the support he would’ve given me, could’ve been that breath. Not until it was too late.” 

That bit of sadness in Eve’s eyes was beginning to mix with a welcomed anger. It wasn’t strong, not yet ripe, but it was there. Jake could feel it. Which meant you could, too. A slight bite was in her next words. “How was it too late?” 

You shook your head, leaning down to rest it atop your joined hands. Five painfully long seconds passed before you lifted your head again so you could press a to kiss her scraped knuckles. “It wasn’t,” you muttered. 

That was the exclamation point on the conversation that had no choice but to end when the doctor walked back into the room. Three people, with great practice, righted themselves in the presence of another. Silent so they could listen. But that silence remained long after the doctor had gone.

—

He’d managed to lull you to sleep. With his arm snuggly around your waist; and kisses on your neck; with words at your ear of how strong you were for saying what you had, and how thankful he was that you had that strength, eventually had your eyelids fluttering closed. Jake would take that little blessing. He feared you’d struggle to sleep forever after seeing your daughter hurt the way she was.

Eve still hadn’t spoken to you. By default, she hadn’t spoken to Jake, either, seeing as he didn’t leave your side. When you told him you were going straight to his bedroom, he thought he might have the chance to check on his daughter, but Eve had done the same, making her way to the guest room Jake had offered and closing the door behind her. 

With you now resting, Jake was nearly drifting off as well, but soft footsteps on the hardwood flooring of his hallway pulled him out of bed and away from you. He glanced at your sleeping face one last time, kissed your cheek, and threw a t-shirt over his torso.

Eve moved throughout the house as if she had been there before. As if she belonged there. As if it had been hers from the day of her birth. 

She’d easily found her way to the back deck hanging off the house that overlooked a lush lawn. Her arms were crossed and resting on the cedar railing when Jake joined at her side.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same,” she said, still staring ahead. “Isn’t it past your bedtime or something?”

Jake chuckled. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” 

His smile immediately died to a flinch, his features screwing as he internally cursed himself for being so bold. Her father he was, but he hadn’t been there for the instances where that question would have been most appropriate. He wasn’t there to ask it when a little Eve might have woken at midnight to sneak her way downstairs to steal a cookie. Neither was he there when she likely arrived home too late from a party, thinking she managed to evade a lecture only to be so, so wrong. And he felt stupid for asking it now, however teasingly. 

Jake cleared his throat. “I know it’s a lot to take in,” he said. “If it’s too much—”

“It’s not too much,” Eve interjected. “I’ve been ninety-five percent sure of it for two months. And I’m happy about it,” she said, her eyes meeting his. “I am. You were like a father to me already. Maybe that’s why it didn’t feel like my whole life was flipped on its side when I found out.”

A rush of pride swelled Jake’s chest and he let his tight features settle. 

“I just didn’t think–” Shaking her head, she turned her stare forward again. “I thought she’d have more for me than being scared. I don’t know why, but I guess I expected there to be some grand misunderstanding between you. Or that maybe you had a bad breakup. Something just a bit more logical would’ve been nice.”

Jake agreed, though he didn’t say so aloud. He’d felt more joy than pain in the last day and a half, and it was enough to keep him from falling to pieces. Having you and Eve now was his everything. It didn’t fix the past, but it illuminated his future. And he hoped Eve might feel the same, but there clearly was a steady balance to her internal war. 

“How did you forgive her so quickly?” she asked.

Leaning forward to match her stance, Jake said, “I didn’t.”

“No? Why not, when it’s obvious you two are back together.”

Jake couldn’t tell if it was said with frustration or bitterness, or if he was just projecting his fear of Eve thinking he was picking sides by not being furious with you for what you’d done. There was no real way to know. So, with honesty fueling his heart, he sighed and said, “Your mother and I were never meant to be apart. But that doesn’t mean instant forgiveness.” He took in a deep breath and released it slowly before continuing. “I’m devastated, Eve. I think about the life I missed with you and it rips me to shreds. I think about your mother, and how no woman that followed ever came close to who she is to me. I think about how a family was at my fingertips, and it slipped right through them as if the two of you were made of air.

“At the end of the day, though, I will forgive her because I want to forgive her,” he said. “I went without you and your mother for more than two decades and the thought of that continuing a day longer makes me sick to my stomach.”

Eve hummed. Her fingers clasped over the railing and squeezed. “Do you really believe we can just pick up and be a family?”

“Sure.”

When his daughter returned her stare to his face, Jake shrugged. 

“Who’s gonna stop us,” he said with a soft curve of his lips, “if that’s what we all want.”

What Eve wanted was to be alone. Jake could see it written across her features. When she was too hard on herself for making a mistake in the sky, she would always land with that same look on her face. Then she’d go off for some alone time to process what couldn’t at the moment be put into words. 

Standing on the deck hanging off the back of his house, overlooking a lush lawn, Jake knew Eve was out of words for the night. So he left her with one more thing to hopefully consider. 

“Eve, whatever you decide, I won’t hold it against you,” he swore, selecting his words carefully. He wanted her to hear him; really hear what occupied his heart and head. “But I need you to know that I want to be a part of your life, for every second that’s left of mine.”

Minutes that felt like hours passed in silence before Jake walked back from the edge of the deck to the door. He was almost through it when Eve twisted around. 

“Dad,” she called, causing Jake to one-eighty as quickly as she had. 

He braced himself against the door frame, trying not to fall to his knees from the suddenness of the new name she’d gifted him. Then he swallowed hard and raised a blond brow in question. 

She had more words after all. Just a few. But they were enough.

“I will,” she said with a nod. “Because I want to.”

—

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @demp @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @abaker74 @novagreen04 @multifandomlover4life @mamachasesmayhem @memeorydotcom @ryiamarie @ateliefloresdaprimavera

[i-yap]

Disorders batboys s/o have( dick and jason ver)

Im a psychology student and i think everyone in this world has some symptoms if not full blown disorders. I also struggle with GAD and I have worked in 2 psychiatric hospitals so far in one I got a lot of readings+ 2 months , 8hrs on weekdays hospital shifts in 4 sectors. I don't mean to offend anyone but if you have a certain disorder it does determine a lot of your personality traits and therefore make you incompatible with certain types of people. this is just a " oh I think the batboys could take care or be compatible with someone with this disorder enough to not hamper their healing "

Anyways..(im so scared to post this)

Dick grayson- mood disorders (major depressive diroder. bipolar disorder, seasonal depression, burnout)

Dick is this silent mother hen sort of figure. he loves taking care of others, it fills him with altruistic feelings and helps him feel needed. Someone with a mood disorder needs someone they can go and be sad with without feeling judged. Dick understands that burnt out feeling really well. He understands how sometimes you just want to let your feelings go through you. He is warm sunshine personified, joyful calm and reliable. He likes taking care of you, the small quiet moments. He will find small personal ways to make your mood a little more bearable however he can without overwhelming you.

"he comes back from his crime fighting to find you in bed. he recognizes your mood instantly. slowly approaching you and gently kissing you awake .

"hey baby ", "youre back dickie" "mhm how long have you been in bed?" " I don't know" "I'm starting a bath, would you like to join me" "I don't really feel like moving" "ill carry you" ."

Jason todd- anxiety disorders ( generalized anxiety disorder(gad), phobia, panic attacks, separation anxiety disorder(sad))

gad- the fact that jason literally fights crime every night and is super impulsive/doesnt care about his safety, so seeing you almost ripping your head off from worry for him not only warms his heart ( he thinks you hate him and struggles to believe that YOU could give someone like him any attention but here you are) but also makes him take better care of himself for your sake. he hates seeing you worried but he loves calming you down. holding your hands tight, replecating meditation style breathing and mindfulness practices. kissing you overthinking head. hugging you when you stress cry, giving you massages.

Phobia- he understands triggers better than anyone else, he will be your big bad protector making sure to help you avoid the item that's causing you phobia. holding your hand and hiding you behind him if you have social anxiety, making sure to avoid triggering environments if you have agoraphobia, killing all snakes in the world if you have a phobia of them( he seriously suggests it but you stop him cuz it'll hurt the ecosystem)

Panic attacks- he has them too, either you have learned a way to deal with them and teach him or he has learned a way to deal with them and helps you . if he hasn't before meeting you, he has a new much stronger motivation to learn techniques or medication that can help deal with them for your sake and therefore also accelerate his healing

seperation anxiety-.. he has it too so like.( ik its more common in kids but adult sad is also a thing) both of you are clingy, its a win win for you two , fuck the rest of the world

again this is just my opinion okay? don't make mental health a taboo , if this post was about batboys x blind! y/n no one would have an issue. mental health is a condition and sometimes its out of our control, it depends on so many factors. Its nothing to be ashamed or scared of.

[eldritch-nightmare]

howdy!! hope you're having a lovely day! may i request ticci toby and any other creeps of your choosing reacting to someone harming their s/o? thank you in advance!

a/n: hi!! thanks for sending the request!! hope you enjoy <3

reacting to someone hurting their gn!s/o.

includes: toby, nurse ann, homicidal liu + sully [separate], the bloody painter, and laughing jill.

warnings: reader gets injured, murder, blood, the murder isn't detailed but some of them may be a little graphic maybe, near-death experiences, it's implied that the reader doesn't know helen kills people.

TICCI TOBY.

He would not be a happy camper, that's for sure.

Toby has already had so much taken away from him, so if someone were to try and take away the one person he allowed himself to love? Yeah, no, not happening.

Toby has taken so many lives he doesn't even know the exact number, and he doesn't normally draw out their death unless it's something Slender wants him to do.

But seeing you passed out on the ground because some sick fuck decided to take their anger out on you... it brought Toby back to darker days, and all he could think about was eliminating the danger to keep you safe.

And let me tell you, Toby draws out your attacker's death. They hurt you, so therefore they deserve every ounce of pain he gives them.

Honestly, if he could, he'd probably keep the person alive over the course of weeks just to get it through their head just how badly they fucked up deciding to hurt you, but he needed to get you help as soon as possible so he leaves your attacker to bleed out.

Once the anger he feels subsides, it'll be replaced by panic and guilt as he rushes you to the nearest place you can receive medical attention, be it the mansion or the hospital.

He won't feel better until you wake up, and even after, this situation will definitely cause him to become a bit paranoid over your safety. He really can't lose you. That's not a pain he can go through again.

It'll probably take you weeks, maybe even months, to reassure Toby that you were okay.

This situation will definitely make him more aware of your safety. If he's not off completing tasks for Slender, he's keeping an eye on you. He's not trying to be clingy or overbearing, he just doesn't want to see you covered in your own blood ever again.

NURSE ANN.

Ann can't remember anything that happened before her death and... proxification, but she does know that you've been by her side through the entire process. You're one of the very small handful of people she trusts and likes, so there was no way she'd let anyone take you away from her.

So when she sees you on the ground, bloodied and bruised because some dumb group of wanna-be urban explorers she was hunting down freaked out thinking you were her? Well, let's just say there's nothing that can calm Ann's burning rage at that moment.

Not only have these people trespassed into her hospital, but they also dare to hurt the love of her life as well? There's no fucking way she'll show them mercy now.

You're barely clinging onto consciousness as you watch your girlfriend mercilessly slaughter the people who dared to even put you in such a state. It's not because you wanted to watch, you were just too exhausted and in far too much pain to look away.

The amount of blood alone was nauseating, and at some point, you couldn't even tell what color the floor was anymore.

But once Ann has dealt with the intruders, she'll oh so gently pick you up from the ground and carry you to the nearest (and cleanest) hospital room so she can treat your wounds.

Ann doesn't speak much, but you can hear her softly apologizing to you as she takes care of you. She tries her best to be careful, not wanting to make the pain worse than it already is. She doesn't feel as if this is her fault, she knows it isn't, but she still can't help but feel bad.

This experience will definitely make her realize just how much she cares for you. It's a little scary, to be quite honest with you. It's weird being attached to someone.

She isn't going to become overbearing when it comes to your safety, but she'll definitely be more careful about hunting down trespassers if she knows you're in the area.

Don't worry, a situation like this will never happen again.

HOMICIDAL LIU.

Oh. Oh boy, what have you done?

Liu is, as we all know, not the type of person to take another's life in cold blood. He only hurts others when it is self-defense because he doesn't want to be anything like his brother.

But keep in mind that Liu is also very protective and he has a lot of pent-up anger (among a variety of other emotions) that he keeps under tight wraps. So, believe me when I tell you that you really do not want to be on the receiving end of that anger.

Unfortunately, some sad soul was completely unaware of this and decided to hurt you.

Now, for Liu, he honestly blacked out the moment he saw you bleeding out on the ground. You, however, witnessed the carnage that was about to take place. Honestly, for a moment, you thought that Sully had taken over because of how violent it got. But no, it was all Liu.

Liu doesn't make quick work of this. No, by the time he came out of whatever stupor of anger he got put in, he was drenched in blood, and the person he killed didn't even look like a person anymore.

He didn't use his gun. He used Sully's knife. You've never seen him use a knife before. He always avoided them, he only ever used guns. But he used a knife. He broke the fucking knife.

Right. Well. You'll just have to sit him down and discuss what transpired later. Preferably when you aren't bleeding out. Luckily for you, Liu has taught himself medical care. He's pretty damn good at treating wounds like this as well, so you're in really good hands.

Just... keep pressure on the wound for a moment while he quickly washes off all the blood on his hands.

You'll be okay. He'll make sure of it. He won't lose you.

SULLY.

Now, I bet you're expecting me to tell you that Sully would also go absolutely ham on the person who hurts you. No. He doesn't. Unlike Liu, he doesn't become overcome with pent-up rage.

He does get angry, don't get me wrong, but that anger isn't important. You're hurt, and you need immediate assistance, so Sully doesn't even spare the person a glance as he pulls out Liu's gun and shoots them in the head.

Sully is... less good at treating wounds. He tries his best whenever he sustains an injury, but Liu is always the one who has to take care of it.

But he does know where a certain eyeless man tends to lurk around, so he won't waste any time taking you to get treatment from him.

He'll keep the conversation topic light as you get treated, joking around with you and talking about anything and nothing at the same time. It keeps a smile on your face, and it keeps you distracted from the pain you're in.

It also keeps Sully distracted from the fact that his hands are shaking.

For a moment, he's not really sure why he's shaking so much. You're safe, and you're getting treated. It's only when you knock out after taking some pain meds that Sully finally realizes that he was scared.

You could've died, realistically. You probably would've if he hadn't been there.

He's never been so close to losing someone before. The thought alone was making his stomach churn. He's... he's never felt scared like this before.

This is probably when he realizes that he loves you.

THE BLOODY PAINTER.

Now, Helen isn't the most emotionally expressive person out there. Just one quick glance at his default expression and you'll come to the conclusion that he's a pretty apathetic person.

But you know him. You've learned how to identify his microexpressions. He had dropped by your place and walked in to see you treating a pretty bad cut on your arm. It was just a very slight shift in his expression, one that only lasted for a fraction of a second, but you could see the worry and the underlying anger.

It's actually pretty awkward as you explain to him what happened, going into detail about how some guy had just randomly decided to attack you when you were in town today.

Helen seemed to be taking in every detail you provided, and when he finally spoke up, it was to ask if you could describe the guy for him.

You had just assumed he was going to sketch the guy's face to give it to the police or something, so you didn't see any real issue with telling Helen, doing your best to describe what the guy looked like. You were honestly over the entire situation. The cut on your arm was bandaged and it didn't hurt much anymore.

The situation ended there for you. It was never brought up again, and Helen stayed the night to help you with anything that may be an inconvenience to do with an injured arm. It was sweet seeing him worried for you, if you're being honest.

It may take a few days, but Helen eventually did track down the person who had hurt you.

He treats them like any other victim, though it's obvious to authorities that this person had a particularly cruel death.

There is nothing tragically beautiful about this person's death. It is not a piece of art like all the other deaths were made out to be. This one still had their blood.

Honestly, their death feels so out of place for the case of the Bloody Painter that authorities are hesitant to consider this another one of his victims. It could be a dispute that led to murder, and in a panic was staged to make it look like a serial killer did it.

And you stay oblivious to this, none the wiser.

LAUGHING JILL.

Look, Jill truly felt as if she would never experience happiness ever again until you came into her life and made her realize that she can still feel such a thing.

You've basically become a source of joy for her, so there was no way in hell she'd ever let that go.

And when someone hurts you? When someone makes your face screw up in pain? It's an image that Jill never wanted to see. She's already lost someone close to her, stolen away from her by a monster. She can't lose you too. She just can't.

She also makes quick work of whoever hurt you, slicing them with her chainsaw once or twice before tossing it to the side and hurrying over to you.

You'll have to reassure her that you're okay as she lets you use her as a pillar of support. Even if you aren't okay, you need to reassure her that you are.

Jill doesn't know how to treat your wounds, something that will definitely change in the future once you're able to get actual treatment.

Honestly, she'll probably burst into tears and apologize profusely even though you getting hurt wasn't her fault. She still should've been there by your side. If she had been, you wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place.

She'll definitely be hyperaware of anyone who comes near you now. It doesn't matter if it's someone you're close to or if it's a complete and total stranger.

She'll immediately tense up and view them as a threat, sticking close to you just in case something happens.

It'll take months, maybe even years for her to move past this.

[bysaber]

Ice skating ft. Katsuki Bakugo

Day 01 of 31 Days of Ficmas!

summary — an ice skating night with your boyfriend ends with a nosebleed and a contusion.

word count — 796

content — fluff, minor injuries, swearing, two fools in love, bad writing

notes — welcome to the first day of my event! i’m really excited about this one and i hope you can all enjoy it with me. just to get started, here’s some silly stuff. <3

“If you don’t know how to do it, why would you suggest it?”

It was the third time Bakugo complained behind you, his hands firmly on your waist as you tried to slide through the ice rink, almost falling more than once.

He would find it funny if it wasn’t so concerning.

“Because it seemed fun,” you insisted, and then added, “and easy.”

You were stubborn in a dangerous way, he thought to himself, knowing damn well you wouldn’t stay on your feet for three seconds if he took his hands off you.

“Seems fun and easy because they know what they’re doing, babe,” he laughed.

“Yeah? Watch me, Kats! I’m gonna be the best ice skater by the end of the night.”

A smirk tugged on his lips, a praise getting caught in his throat because he was too much of a prick to give it to you so easily – but that was his girl, so full of determination and defiance.

He could only laugh, smitten as you took his hands off your waist and grabbed on the supports around the rink to stabilize yourself.

“I’m watching you, babe,” he teased, skating around you, close enough to be there for you if needed.

He kept watching you closely for the sake of your safety and it truly amazed him when, less than ten minutes later, you were actually able to skate by yourself – nothing much, slowly and with your hands in the air to keep your balance, but still.

Katsuki chuckled, sliding around you and taking your hand, “Not bad, huh?”

“I’m just getting star–”

Bakugo only saw it when it was too late – a little boy going at full speed in your direction, eyes wide and clearly unable to stop. He crashed into you, still hand-holding Katsuki, and the three of you fell on the ice-cold hard ground.

“Thank you for bringing us here,” Bakugo said gloomily to the kid’s mom, who had the kindness of taking all of you to the hospital.

The little boy was okay – you and Katsuki had dampened his fall – but Bakugo ended up with a nosebleed for falling facefirst and was now waiting for you to take X-rays for an injured ankle.

He sat in the hospital’s waiting room, frustrated and worried that you had broken something.

When you showed up a few minutes later with a walking stick, ankle bandaged and face puffy from crying, he felt like blowing the whole place up. It sucked that a night that was supposed to be fun turned out like this for you, and he felt somewhat responsible.

“Hey, babe… how are you?” he asked softly, so different from the usual, helping you walk towards one of the seats. He couldn’t bring himself to be his normally grumpy self when you looked so sad, his chest tightening.

“I’m ok, it’s ok, just a contusion…” you reassured, gazing at his bandaged nose and then down, “It’s just… I’m sorry, Kats. I shouldn’t have insisted.”

Bakugo immediately stiffened, blinking rapidly. There was no way you were blaming yourself, “What’s that now?”

You felt your eyes burning and fought against the tears, not wanting to cry again, but your voice still broke when you explained, “If I hadn’t insisted I could ice-skate, nothing of this would happen and we would be doing something fun. I wouldn’t need to walk like a grandma and you wouldn’t look like… I don’t know! Like a clown!”

It startled you when Katsuki started laughing. A genuine laugh, his eyes closing as he did and the sound echoing in the room – that sound had the ability to light up the entire city, and you ended up laughing as well. Of the things you said, of the situation, of yourself.

And, in the end, all of it didn’t seem so bad.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve had a nosebleed, but I’m glad to know you think I look like a clown,” he commented with a smirk when the laughter died, taking some snacks out from his coat pockets casually. “Got these snacks you like from the machine over there, grandma. I think we can have plenty of fun here… or anywhere, to be honest.”

With tears still threatening to fall down your face, you looked at him with adoration and love shining on your eyes, a happy smile shyly growing on your lips. Katsuki always made you feel better, no matter the situation.

And he carried that smirk – the one that told you he knew everything you didn’t.

“And you were right, by the way,” he resumed his rambling, “If we weren’t interrupted, you were going to be the best ice skater by the end of the night.”

The smirk that showed you that he truly saw you.

[wayfayrr]

woooO!!!! congrats on 100 followers!! I've had this idea of the links reacting to the reader who rode a motorcycle, like street racing, or trick riding! like in a modern time, they find a bike under a tarp or smthn and ask them about it, and they offer to show them, and turns out they did trick riding/ street racing/etc. [with a helmet and leather jacket ofc, safety first!!] [idk really, i just like the idea and its been stewing lol]

Thank you anon!!! 💖💖 I can see why this idea was stuck in your head, the idea of reader having a bike is ✨✨ and I hope I've done it justice! I also focused this with two if you don't mind, If you wanted a different member of the chain feel free to ask!!

"[NAME]! [NAME] I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING!"

"TWI!? JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE FOR A MOMENT I'M COMING OVER TO YOU."

Twilight calling out like that? Wild I would expect, Wind or Hyrule I would understand, but Twilight? I just hope he's alright, is it even safe if he'd have to go to the hospital? Would he need a vet instead?

Because I do not want to find out the answer to that if I can help it. It's a very quick decision to drop what I'm doing to go and check on him, from... it sounded like the garage?

"Twi? Are you alright, what's - oh you haven't broken anything, that's good you're okay."

No injuries, good, fine I can work with that and he looks like a kicked puppy for some reason. Why does he look like I'm about to shout at him..? Is that my helmet? 

"I'm so sorry darlin' this thing got caught on me and I a part of it fell to the floor and I…"

"It's fine, you haven't broken anything. They're separate things I keep stacked together, there's no issue. If anything with how you were shouting I thought you were injured Link, you had me really worried."

A flustered Twilight isn't something I've gotten to see often, but it's a very addictive sight seeing someone as tough as him crumble like this over something so small. My bike's fine, the tarp's only torn a tiny bit and my helmet, well there's nothing that could scratch that any more than it's already been scratched. I wonder if I could push his fluster any further, maybe if I…

“Hey Twi, you know I promised to take you to a coffee shop at some point? So I can prove to you it’s not broken, want to ride with me?”

That did it, he’s redder than I’ve ever seen him ever and I think I can still push him further. Taking my jacket off of the hook, tossing it on then handing Twi my spare set with a wink.

“Come on pretty boy, let me treat you?”

Oh? That is cute, it seems the wolf’s lost his ability to speak as he follows my lead by putting on the gear I’ve lent to him. I’m just glad I keep some spares at all times, for when things like this come up it can be a lifesaver. Walking the bike outside with him trailing behind me with lovestruck eyes before I gesture to him to come closer. Gently guiding him to sit behind me on the bike then coaxing his arms around my waist with very little complaint from him only to start up the motor. 

It’s been a while since I’ve felt the freedom of riding like this, I think Twilight is enjoying it as well which is the main thing. Pushing my bike more from his unspoken joy, it’s like I’m back to racing again and with that thrill-seeking side winning out I push us further still hitting about a hundred now, likely faster than he’s ever moved before.

And then we’ve already arrived. Clearly he doesn’t seem ready to let go of me, the way his arms have tightened again is a good enough show of that.

“You can hold me more later Twi, don’t you want to go in then I can explain more?” 

“Alright, darlin’.”

It took a moment for him to find something on the menu that he liked the sound of and was safe for him, while I just ordered my usual but after that, we’re free to just talk for a while, although even after all of that his blush still hasn’t died down the smallest amount. 

“So I’m guessing you’re curious about my bike? I used to spend a lot of my spare time racing so it’s a very high-quality one.”

“It’s that important to you but you’re willin to let me ride it?”

“I mean, of course. There’s no fun in riding alone, and I trust you.”

I think that last sentence might have broken him, he’s a blushing mess mumbling about how good I look and how impressed he is. He’s sweet. Although now it might take a while for me to be able to talk to him again.

[14buddy22]

I’ll Spend the Rest of My Life Making It Up To You Series

Part 5 WC: 7.3K

Warnings: Hospitals, Nurses, Self-blame, Bruises, Police Officers, Angst, Fluff,  Cuts, Scars, Cute Jack and Aaron moments, Family fluff, mentions of marital rape, mentions of verbal, emotional, mental, and physical abuse, restraining orders, custody battles, broken engagements, marriage

A/n: I really liked this chapter, reader finds safety in Aaron in this chapter. Next chapter, we really get going again. If I missed anything... LET ME KNOW!!

Series Masterlist // Masterlist!

Aaron was getting everything into Mason’s diaper bag, looking around your house, a place that was supposed to bring you safety, and it was a mess. He was trying to take pictures, trying to send a text, his mind going a mile a minute. 

He finally was able to get a text off to Dave, just saying that he needed help at your home. They needed to collect as much evidence as they could and he was taking you to the hospital. Dave would know what to do, so Aaron wouldn’t have to be worried about that.

As you made your way downstairs with a duffel bag and Mason’s clothes, you looked at Aaron standing in your kitchen. He looked like he belonged there. You had this scary thought in the back of your mind that Aaron would be the one to investigate you if something were to happen to you. It’s strange seeing him in your kitchen. A kitchen you had once hoped to share with him.

“Let’s get you to the hospital. We’re leaving your car here. Come on.”

As he grabbed Mason’s car seat from your car and quickly installed it into his, you got in the backseat with Mason. You all drove in silence, quickly coaxing Mason back to sleep. As you and he walked into the hospital, he took Mason’s car seat carrier from you and began to talk to the Nurse.

You stood behind him, almost like you were hiding as if the nurse was your abuser. You were ashamed to even be there in the first place. Had you not left this relationship years ago, you wouldn’t be in the hospital right now. This was on you.

“They’re going to take you to a room. They’re going to have you change. They’re going to photograph everything. They will document every scrape, cut, and bruise. They’re taking you for X-rays at well. It’ll be lengthy, but once everything is done, we can leave. I’ll be out here with Mason when you’re done. Don’t worry about Mason. I’ll protect him. Nothing’s going to happen to you two anymore. I’m here now.”

Aaron went to go move to sit and you grabbed his arm. You were silently pleading with him to go with you. You didn’t want to be alone. You just wanted to feel safe and you didn’t feel safe with those nurses. You’re sure they weren’t going to hurt you, but they’re an unfamiliar face. You know Aaron. You know he’d protect you if he said he was going to protect you.

When Aaron realized you wanted him with you, he nodded at you and grabbed your hand. When he squeezed it, a part of you knew you were going to be okay. Somehow, somewhere along this deep mess, you and Mason were going to be okay.

Mason began to stir in his car seat and began to wake up. Before you even had a chance to grab him, Aaron grabbed him from his car seat and grabbed the diaper bag.

“I’m going to go see if he needs to be changed. I also am going to have the nurses call their local precinct to get SVU detectives down here.”

“No. Aaron, please. Don’t call them. It’ll be a hassle.”

“I’m calling them, Y/n. You’ve been abused by Jake for 10 years. It’s time to stop this. Put an end to it. Once this is behind, you can learn to move passed it. I know it’ll always be a part of you. I know that. But, it’s going to make you a stronger person and an even better mom to Mason. I’ll be right outside. I will be watching your room like a hawk, I’ll know who is coming in. Okay?”

You felt Aaron press a kiss on your forehead. For a second, it felt wrong. You shouldn’t feel comfortable in his arms, but you have no choice. He’s your safe spot. He’s your person. He was your best friend, and deep down, he continued to be, even if you hadn’t seen him for the past 3 years.

When the nurse came in, you told her to wait until your friend and son came back. You weren’t ready to be poked and prodded by foreign things and have them take pictures of you just yet. You know they were just doing their job, but you were scared. You needed Aaron.

When Aaron walked back in, he was cradling a sleeping Mason in his arms. He placed the diaper bag down and walked over to you. He didn’t miss the way you flinched when the door opened up. He didn’t miss how you flinched when he dropped the diaper bag on the chair a little too loudly.

“Dirty diaper and he’s now fast asleep. Did the nurse come in yet?”

“She did, but, I told her to leave. I-I didn’t want to be alone.”

You began to break down and cry. It didn’t help that you were just exhausted from the sleepless nights, the eventful day, and then the evening. Emotions were running high, you had a baby to take care of, and now you’re trying to think where you’re going to go next, and how you were going to afford a good lawyer to make sure that you get sole custody of Mason.

Aaron moved towards you and wrapped his free arm around you, pulling you closer. It was nice to feel loved. It felt good to be back in his arms. You missed that. You never realized how much you missed him until he was gone. Scratch that, you knew how much you missed him. You wrote to him almost every other day like you actually were going to send him those letters. Aaron was your safe space, and you didn’t realize that until now.

Bruised. Battered. Broken.

“Let’s get the nurse back in here. The quicker they take care of you, the quicker we’re going back to my apartment. We’ll talk through everything in the morning. I don’t want you worrying about a thing. You’ve taken care of your students and your son, yet, nobody has taken care of you. Let me take care of you.”

When you finally made eye contact with Aaron again, you couldn’t help but notice the glimmer of tears in his eyes. He was trying so hard to keep it together for you. It only made you want to cry even more, to see that a man had an emotion that wasn’t angry towards you.

After you closed your eyes and let your tears continue to fall, you felt Aaron’s hand come up to cup your cheek, wiping the tears that had fallen. When you looked up at him again, leaning into his touch, you whispered, “Okay.”

You were going to get the help you’ve been needing these past 10 years. You were going to get help from the man you once loved all those years ago, the one you had never stopped loving.

When the nurse came back into the room, Aaron had got you calm enough where she could begin to take photos. You had asked her to see the photos, to see what else they’ve found, but you watched the nurse look at Aaron and then she quickly smiled at you and began to take more pictures.

He didn’t let you look in the mirror, he wouldn’t let you see the photos. He refused to let you see yourself in this state. The bruises developed quicker than he would have wanted them to, but, that just meant they’ll heal quicker.

“I don’t want you to see yourself right now.”

“Aaron, please. Let me see what he did to me.”

“No. Not right now, I can’t let you do that to yourself.”

You were upset with Aaron. Why wouldn’t he let you see yourself? It was your body you had to live with. You were the one with the cuts, stitches, and bruises, but he wouldn’t let you look at yourself? You know he’s trying to protect you, but from what? The damage had already been done.

Aaron had put Mason in the car seat and when he made sure to buckle him in and that he was secure, Aaron moved towards you and grabbed your hand. The nurse still taking pictures and documenting everything.

All Aaron could think about at that moment was how he was going to protect you. How was he going to make sure you never had to see Jake again? How was he going to keep you and Mason safe? He also couldn’t stop thinking about the letters. He still had to get through a lot more, but he didn’t want you to know that his team gave him the letters.

Especially when you didn’t even want him to read them in the first place. Every heartfelt emotion was put into every single word of your writing. He wanted to get back to reading them. He wanted to know every single thing Jake did to you so he could use it as evidence.

But, he also knew he needed to be there for you. You needed him more than ever, so if that meant it’d be a while until he read the rest of your letters, so be it. You needed him. So, he needed to keep you safe.

“It’s almost over, okay?”

When Aaron said it was almost over, you wanted to say to him “It’s just getting started”. You know he was talking about the picture taking, the statements the police were asking for, but you were talking about what was going to happen next. Restraining order, custody battles, and getting justice for yourself.

Aaron wished he would’ve been more honest with you. He knew that the situation was only the beginning. He just wanted to ease your mind with the poking and prodigy the nurses were doing. The constant clicking of the camera. The questions seemed never-ending. He was just trying to calm you down.

When the nurses were done, the doctor got your head stitched up, then the police finished asking you questions.

“Where is he now, ma’am?”

“He’s out of town on a business trip he said. He’ll be gone until next week, but at any moment, he could always come back.”

“Does he have a family?”

“He does, his father’s the district attorney.”

You didn’t miss the way Aaron’s body visibly tensed up, just as you watched the way the cop who was writing this information paused for the briefest second. You knew this was going to be a hard battle. Especially when Jake’s father is well-respected in the district.

“But, his father’s so sweet. He loves Mason so much. I don’t want a restraining order put against his parents and brother. Just Jake. I can’t be mad at them. They don’t know what Jake’s been doing to me.”

You cried at the realization of what you were saying. You were getting the help you needed. You were going to get out of this cycle. Finally. 10 years worth of abuse was enough. It should have been enough after the first 3 months, but you didn’t realize it was a bad situation until he hit you. It took you 10 years to realize that.

When the police were finally done, they stepped outside of the room with Aaron. Leaving you to put on clothes that were not bloodied or torn. Clothes that covered up the bruises he left on you.

*****

“It’s going to be a hard case, sir. Her father-in-law is a highly-respected D.A.”

“I don’t care what it takes. You have a woman in there, with a 4-month-old son, who has been in an abusive relationship for 10 years. Anyone who has come in contact with her should have seen the signs to get her out. You’re going to go and do your job and investigate. They have a D.A. higher up than Jake’s father who will oversee the case. You do whatever you need to do to make sure that woman gets the outcome she deserves. No custody of the little boy, jail time for months and months of abuse.”

“And who are you to tell us how to do our job?”

Aaron wanted to lash out and beat the cop who was asking that. It didn’t sound like the one guy was going to be any help. Aaron’s team might have to do all the work. If Aaron lost his cool now though, it’d be over, and Jake would win, not you. He needed to set his ego aside and think of you.

“I’m a supervisory special agent as well as the Unit Chief for the FBI’s BAU. I also used to be a prosecutor. I know that as long as you document the evidence, this will be a case she has no problem winning. You need to do your jobs. My team will get everything they have to your unit by the morning.”

*****

When Aaron came back into the room, he whispered to you, “We’re going home. Come on.”

After walking out of the hospital room, you felt like everyone was staring at you, and you hated it. You didn’t want sympathy. You didn’t want people to say, “I’m sorry you went through that.” You just wanted Jake gone and out of your life.

As you and Aaron drove in silence, you couldn’t help but keep looking over at Aaron. He really was your hero. He always had been your hero, even when you two were childhood friends. He would make the bullies go away. He would yell at the older kids bothering the younger ones. You always said he was your hero. You just never believed that he’d be your hero someday.

As you pulled into Aaron’s apartment, you carried Mason’s carseat into the building and Aaron grabbed your bags. When he showed you the way to his apartment, he carefully unlocked the door, making sure you walked in before he did.

“It’s nice in here, Aaron. Didn’t take you for an interior decorator.”

“Well, it wasn’t really my doing. I had help from the team and Jack likes to decorate for the holiday occasions. It’s nice, really.”

You both chuckled and he said, “Here’s your room. Uh, I snagged Mason’s pack-n-play, we can put him in there to sleep until we can get a crib. Why don’t you go take a shower while I put this together.”

“Aaron, stop. You’ve done so much. Go get some sleep. I will put it together, it really doesn’t take long. All I have to do it open it and put the soft mattress on. It’s okay. Please. Just, trust me.”

“Y/n, I’m not arguing with you. Go take your shower. There arere towels in the hallway closet. Take as many as you need. There’s also extra shampoo and conditioner in there as well. I figured you didn’t want to use Jack’s Spiderman shampoo and conditioner.”

You chuckled thinking about the little blonde boy using his Spiderman bathroom set. It made you wonder, would Mason grow up to like Spiderman, or would he like someone else?

“Thank you, Aaron. For everything. I mean it.”

Aaron smiled at you and you heard him whisper, “Anything for you” just as you were walking away. It made heat rise to your cheeks. You felt it. You saw it when you looked in his bathroom mirror. You chuckled to yourself when you saw the Spiderman-decorated bathroom.

When you got into the shower, you felt like you were scrubbing for hours. You were trying to scrub every bad memory of him off your skin. The only problem was that Jake was always going to be a part of your life, of your story. You just had to choose how you were going to move past it. Jake will always be a part of you, but he gave you one good thing. He gave you your son, your pride and joy, the little boy who kept you going.

When you finally got out of the shower, you didn’t realize that you were in there for nearly an hour. You quickly changed into some clothes, threw your hair into a braid, and went to walk into the guest room.

What made you stop in your tracks is when you saw Mason sleeping in his pack-and-play with Aaron sleeping on the floor right next to him. You know he was an agent, you know he as a father, you know he had to be exhausted, but for him to make sure your son and you were safe, it made your heart swell. To know that you and your son would eventually be okay, it made things a little easier in your mind.

You didn’t want to wake Aaron up. He looked so peaceful, but you know if you didn’t, he would have a terrible backache tomorrow and you couldn’t live with that. You quietly knelt next to him and shook his body, whispering his name.

When he opened his eyes and saw you, he smiled. “You smell good, like Spiderman shampoo and conditioner. How was your shower?”

“It was good, longer than I expected it to be. Come on, get up, you can’t sleep on the floor.”

You helped him up and when he took a step forward, you and him both didn’t miss the way your bodies both let the tension go for a split second. You didn’t know what spell took over your body, but you put your hand on his face whispering, “Thank you for everything, Aaron.”

He looked down at your lips, and just when you thought he was going to kiss you, he stopped himself. He straightened his body and whispered, “You know if I kiss you right now, this will make things complicated. I want to kiss you so, so bad. But, I just. I can’t right now.”

For a second time, it felt like you were getting your heart broke by Aaron, even though he’s right. You and him can’t do it. It won’t look good. You knew you always had feelings for Aaron. He was your first true love. He was your only true love.

“Goodnight, Aar. Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

When you finally laid down in bed, plugged your phone in and looked at the clock, it was 3:15AM. You didn’t realize that Aaron probably was only going to get 3 hours of sleep if he was lucky. That made you feel bad. But, you didn’t have much time to think about it because you fell asleep.

****

When Aaron got up the next morning, he didn’t dare go for a jog. He didn’t want to leave you alone until he knew that Jake was in police custody and the judge got a warrant for a restraining order.

He decided to text Jessica to see if she was up. He wanted his little boy home. After what you were going through, he couldn’t imagine being away from his son any longer. Sending a quick text off to Jessica, he decided to start baby proofing the house a little bit. He knew Mason was nearly 6 months old, but he was starting to crawl all over.

Once Aaron finished babyproofing his home, he decided to go check on you. It was nearly 8am and Aaron remembers what it as like when Jack was Mason’s age. Jack was up bright and early every morning. Aaron just wanted you to sleep though. You needed it. Aaron wondered how many nights were you actually able to get a good nights sleep when you were married and living with Jake.

He quietly walked into your room and saw Mason playing with his toys while you were fast asleep. Mason began to smile at him and Aaron picked him up, taking a few of his toys and carried him out of the room. He shut your door quietly and took Mason into his living room.

He placed Mason on the ground and said, “Alright buddy, you’re probably hungry, and you need a diaper change. So, let’s get your bottle started and then change you.”

Aaron felt like he was in a twilight zone. Why did life lead him down this dark and twisty road when it would just lead back to you and him and some kids. Watching Mason crawl on the floor and play with some of Jack’s toys just made him think of how good of a big brother Jack would be. How good of a father Aaron would be if you and him had kids.

As Aaron changed Mason, then began to feed him, he found himself falling into a little conversation with Aaron. He didn’t want to talk to Mason about his father but he just talked about anything and everything. They talked about the weather, food Aaron was going to make for lunch and dinner, Aaron talked about Jack.

“So, Jack is my son. He’s older than you. I bet he’s going to love you. I know you’ll love him. He’s always wanted to have a little brother. He’ll show you all his comic books, action figures, his favorite toys, everything.”

Mason began to smile up at Aaron and Aaron smiled down at him. Aaron’s heart fluttered at the thought of Jack being a big brother. Aaron always knew Jack would make a great big brother, he just never thought it’d happen this way.

Aaron was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the little pitter-patter of very familiar feet yelling, “Daddy!”

After a very excited Jack hugged his father, he finally asked the question Aaron’s been needing to talk to him about.

“Um, Daddy, who’s baby is that?”

“Jack, this is Mason. He’s my friend, Y/n’s, baby. Y/n sleeping in the guest room right now. But, I was thinking would it be okay if they stayed with us for a while?”

Jack ran off and Aaron looked at Jess.

“I knew I should have warned him first. Jess, if he continues to lash out today could you just keep him for another day until I can get Y/n and Mason set up in a safe house.”

“He won’t lash out, Aaron. He’s going to be okay. Look.”

Jack came running back into the room with a picture frame. A frame Aaron quickly recognized. It was a picture of you and him from your wedding. He had always kept it framed in his office.

“Daddy, this is Y/n, right?”

“Yeah buddy, that is. If you don’t want her to stay with us, she doesn’t have too.”

“No, she’s your best friend. She can stay with us. I’ve always wanted a little brother.”

“Jack, he’s n-”

Jess cut Aaron off by quickly saying his name and smiling. Aaron didn’t know how to tell Jack that he didn’t know how long you and Mason would be in their lives. He wish it could be forever and if it was his way, he wouldn’t let you go. But, he knew the choice was up to you and he wouldn’t force or pressure you into anything.

“Y/n’s sleeping, but I was thinking since it’s Saturday… Waffles for breakfast?”

When Jessica left, Aaron and Jack began to make waffles. It felt surreal for Aaron. This was supposed to be his life that he dreamed of when he met you. He wanted to get up with your kids, make breakfast while you were still in bed. He wanted that, yet it’s a funny way of how he got there.

****

Your body was exhausted, your face hurt. For some reason, you thought Mason broke his cycle of getting up early. You didn’t even bother to look at the clock, you wanted to check on him.

When you sat up to look in his pack-n-play, you immediately began to freak out. Mason was gone. He was there when you went to bed. How could he be missing? You began searching to make sure he didn’t climb out, but then you heard laughter coming from down the hall.

Then you heard the cutest little, “Mason! Look at my spiderman!”

You let out a sign of relief. Jack was home, Aaron must have come in and grabbed Mason from your room. Which just makes you think what a terrible mother you are. You couldn’t hear someone come into your own room?

If that was Jake, Mason could be missing, or worse.

As you made your way into the kitchen, the scene in front of you made your heart stop from how cute it was. Mason was in a smaller highchair that sat on top of the counter, Jack was showing him his spiderman, and Aaron was making waffles, smiling at both boys. You took a picture of it. If Aaron and Jack weren’t going to be in your life forever, you were going to at least make sure you had a picture of this happy memory.

“Ahem, good morning boys.”

“Good morning, how’d you sleep?”

“Are you Y/n, daddy’s best friend?”

“I am. You must be his cousin.”

“Cousin?” Jack started laughing and said, “No! I’m his son, Jack Hotchner.”

Jack stuck his hand out and you shook it. You couldn’t believe how grown up Jack looks. You met him when he was just 3 months old. You saw him again when he was 8 months old. Now he was a 6 year old little boy.

“Waffles for breakfast, Y/n! Daddy makes them so good.”

You looked over at Aaron and then you saw the time on his kitchen stove. It was nearly 9:30am. You hit Aaron’s shoulder and said, “Why didn’t you wake me when Mason got up? I’m probably the world’s worst mom. I didn’t hear him cry. I didn’t hear you come in and take him. I certainly didn’t have a motherly instinct to wake up around 7am to feed him.”

“Y/n, relax. You’re not the world’s best mom. You’re apart of the world’s best moms.Mason wasn’t crying, he was just playing. I went to get him because I wanted you to sleep. You deserved it, especially after last night. It was the least I could do.”

“To be quite honest with you. I’ve gotten the best sleep that I’ve had in a long time. Thank you.”

As you sat at the counter, Aaron handed you a plate of waffles. Jake sat next to you and Aaron stood up and began eating. He then grabbed yogurt and said, “Is Mason allergic?”

“No. But, I’ll feed him when we’re done. He’s okay right now.”

Aaron just shook his head while he grabbed a small spoon and bowl. You watched as Jack ate his waffles talking about Spiderman and the new comic book Jessica had gotten him. You began to eat while Mason tracked Aaron’s every move, smiling everytime Aaron looked at him.

It was pure bliss. You always dreamed of waffle saturdays with Aaron and your kids. It’s just a shame you had to go down the road you did to end up with it. While Aaron began to feed Mason, you chuckled as Mason kept trying to grab the spoon every time.

While you didn’t know how much longer this would be your reality, you just wanted to live in a good moment for as long as you can before all hell broke loose later on in the week.

You decided that since Aaron made breakfast, it was only right and fair that you cleaned up. As you thanked him for breakfast and began to clean up, he sat on the stool that you were once seated at and was talking to both Jack and Mason.

Mason was still eating his yogurt and trying to talk while Aaron would smile and talk back to him. There was hope. Hope that you and Mason would be okay. Hope that after a while, you and Mason would find someone who would love you and take care of you, start a new family with the one you began to create. Hope to find someone who will love you even after everything you went through, all the trauma you have.

That’s what you were holding out on. You were going to hold out for as long as you needed to to make sure you were going to be alright. When you did the dishes and looked around to put them back, you chuckled to yourself. Aaron had his kitchen set up the same exact way it was set up when you were together, all those years ago.

“I see things don’t change.”

“Well, you know, a habit. The way I had the kitchen set up was conducive to the environment.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled at him, then proceeded to grab Mason from the high chair and moved him to go crawl around on the floor. You sat on the ground, setting up a barrier that he hopefully wouldn’t go and crawl into Aaron’s office.

Jack grabbed his toys from his room and brought some out to play with Mason. It really was sweet. You never imagined this is where your life would be 10 years ago. You also didn’t imagine that Jake would beat you.

There was a knock on his door that startled you. You didn’t know if Jake was there, you didn’t know who it could be. You moved Mason more into your lap and Aaron immediately got up, telling you it’d be okay.

You went into this silent panic mode, standing up with Mason, and moving towards the hall. It was like a fight or flight situation, although you knew Aaron would protect you with everything he had.

“She’s in here. Come on. Y/n, it’s Dave and JJ. They’re alone. It’s okay.”

You felt your heartbeat getting slower as you calmed yourself down. Maybe it wasn’t you calming yourself down, but it was Aaron’s voice, telling you it was okay. Everything that seemed to clam you down these days revolved around Aaron. You were deeply grateful for that.

“Hey Y/n. We just wanted to come by to talk to you and update you with where we are with everything.”

You walked back over to the kitchen and you heard Aaron telling Jack to go to his room to clean up for a little bit. You knew Aaron was doing that to get Jack away from your situation. You were grateful for that. You didn’t want Jack to hear what was going on.

Aaron sat next to you on the couch. He wanted to be there with you so you didn’t have to go through those frightful, traumatic moments alone again. You felt him place a hand on your back and you melted into him a little more.

“I know you already know this, Y/n, but with Jake’s father being as successful as an attorney he is, this is going to be hard.”

Aaron’s hand left your back. The one thing that was keeping you grounded was one that made you start to get nervous again. You started bouncing your leg up and down. You hugged Mason just a little bit tighter.

“Dave, you can’t say that. To hell with Jake’s father. We’ve taken down worse. We’ve taken down the chief of police’s sons, we’ve taken down internal affairs members. You can’t come in here and say that it’s going to be hard.”

“Aaron, I understand that, but I just want you two to be aware of what could happen.”

You decided to speak up. This was your life. Jake was technically still your husband. You and him did share a son together. He was always going to be apart of your life. You gave Jake 10 years of your life, when you should have been giving those 10 years to Aaron.

“I know it’ll be hard, but can we win. Can I get full custody of my son? I’ve given you all proof. I had the pictures and the exam at the hospital. I did all that, now please. I just want Mason to be safe. I know he’ll be safe with me. Please tell me I can win custody. If he doesn’t go to jail for what he did to me, fine, but I don’t know if I can leave him with his own son.”

“The evidence we have is enough that we’ve filed a restraining order. His father has been notified. The papers are going to be sent to him today, he’ll be served in this afternoon. You have the best working for you. But I want you to know that the system could be rigged when it comes to this. His father is the county’s D.A.”

You knew it was going to be a long battle. You knew that the minute Jake introduced you to his father. He introduced him as “the city’s most successful district attorney”. He was right. 10 years, you heard how your father-in-law very rarely lost a case. You were praying that this was one he lost. You loved your father-in-law. He was a very good grandfather to Mason, but you hated him for not asking about your relationship with Jake. You hated that even after you had just been pushed down the stairs, your father-in-law had still come over for dinner and he didn’t notice the broken picture frame that hung on the wall, or the way you tensed up whenever Jake got close to you.

“Dave, JJ, I want to go through with this. If I don’t go through with this, I’m just another living proof that these abusive men will win. They will win by scaring their partners. From now on, Jake can say whatever he wants, but I’m not going to back down. Not when I have a son I have to raise. I went through the abuse for 10 years. The amount of times I have showed up to the police station but was too afraid to go in and file for a restraining order because I was scared he’d come after me, or kill me. He took my life over for 10 years, it’s my time to get out. That’s why I showed up at Aaron’s office. I knew that if I didn’t come to you guys yesterday, I would have never went.”

You took a deep breath. You didn’t realize you had begun crying. You didn’t realize that Mason had been moved from your arms into Aaron’s arms. You didn’t realize that Aaron’s one arm had moved around your waist tighter as he pulled you into his side.

“I went home last night thinking everything would be okay. If it weren’t for Mason being alive, I think he would have killed me. No, not think. I know he would have killed me. I want to get out of this relationship. So, please. Help me.”

You began to cry harder and Dave and JJ looked at you and Aaron with sympathetic looks. Aaron passed Mason to JJ and Aaron had pulled you into his body. This was the 2nd time you were really able to admit you needed help. 10 years of trauma. 10 years of the “unknowing” what was going to happen to you everytime Jake stepped foot inside your home. 10 years of the verbal, mental, emotional, physical abuse. 10 years, and you were wanting to put a stop to it. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. No, you deserved so much better.

When you finally calmed down a quick minute later, you explained that JJ and Dave could ask for anything they want. They could have anything they need. You needed to be like an open book, especially if you’d be going up against Jake and your father-in-law.

Dave said, “Y/n, we do need to ask. When you married Jake, was there anytime from that point until now that you, um, had relations with-?”

Aaron was furious. From your side view, you saw Aaron’s jaw clench and his fist tightened. If Dave wasn’t his friend, he sure as hell would’ve punched him.

“Dave. I would really rethink how you’re going to finish that sentence.”

JJ then spoke up as well. “Hotch, you know if this were any other case, we have to ask. Did you two ever have an intimate relationship when you were with Jake?”

You knew you had to respond before Aaron did or else it would not be good for anyone in that room. The man was your best friend, your first love, he was very protective of you. Especially after what he had found out from yesterday and last night. You were sure he would not let you out of his sight until Jake was in prison.

“No, when Aaron and I broke off the engagement, that was the last day that we had done anything intimate. That was 12 years ago. Even for the 5 times I had seen Aaron after, all we did was lunch. Jake was so controlling that he had to time my lunches with Aaron. I hadn’t been sleeping with Aaron, I wasn’t sneaking around with him either. I wasn’t sleeping or I wasn’t sneaking around with another man. I was loyal. I still am. Even if Jake doesn’t deserve it, I vowed to him on my wedding day that I would be. I didn’t want to break my promises. But I promise you, there was nothing going on between us. If there was, trust me, Jake would have known about it. He would spy on us during lunches. He tracked my bank records, you knew he was tracking my car, had cameras inside the house. He’s not a fool. Jake has no defense against Aaron.”

JJ and Dave just nodded their head and quickly after saying a few more remarks, Aaron was walking them out the door. You took Mason from his arms and let Mason play on the floor while you yelled for Jack to come back out.

“Hey Jack, keep an eye on Mason. I need to talk to Y/n in my office. Can you handle that?”

“Yeah, I can dad! I’ll be the baby watcherer ever.”

You chuckled at hearing Jack talk like that. You knew while you and Aaron were right around the corner that Jack and Mason would be okay. You saw how Aaron had the corners of tables and everything else baby proofed and how he had covered up the outlets.

You followed behind Aaron, into his office. That man was on a mission and you’d hate to be an unsub.

“I’m sorry. They were out of line. They know better.”

“Aaron, you can’t fault them for doing their job. It’s only fair that they asked about us. I mean, I got into this because of you.”

You didn’t mean it like that. It wasn’t Aaron’s fault, you never wanted to blame him. Jake had always been so insecure of himself when he knew about Aaron. But the hurt you saw in Aaron’s eyes right now could make you throw up. You’d rather get back with Jake, get slapped around a few times, and continue to be married to him if you had the chance again to never say that, to never see him react to that.

“Aaron, that’s not what I meant. Please. You have to hear me out. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

You searched for his hand, but he pulled it back from the desk. Just moving to sit down in his office chair, leaving you standing in front of the desk.

“Aaron. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. The flaws in Jake and I’s marriage was not your fault. It’s Jake. Jake is the only one to blame for his behavior. He was the one who hit me. He’s the one who verbally abused me. He’s the one who hates me. You don’t. It’s not your fault. What really set him off is because I said I had gone to see you. I didn’t want to lie because I knew he’d track me, there’s no point in lying to him. I’m sorry I said it was because of you. It’s not your fault. I’m so grateful for you and, and for Jack. Aaron, I got the best sleep of my life last night. When I fell asleep, I knew that I didn’t have to be in a light sleep so I could hear when Jake got into bed. I didn’t have to fear that if Jake got in bed, he would force himself on me. When I was in bed, I didn’t have to fear that he would hit me if I told him to stop, to tell him “not tonight”, to tell him I was tired. I got to lay in bed and have a good night’s sleep because he wasn’t there, and I knew I was in a safe environment. I thank you for that. You saved my life, Aaron Hotchner. You did when we were in high school and you saved my life yesterday. You will always be a big part of my life. No matter where I end up in 5, 10, 15 years, I will always be grateful that you came into my life, that you were the best thing that’s ever happened to me, that you saved me not once, but twice.”

Aaron didn’t realize how much he’d be affected by your words. He was hurt, but hearing you talk about him saving you just made him more upset with himself. He should have saved you one time, that was in high school. He saved you once and you two were together until your engagement. Had that engagement never been broken off by him, you wouldn’t be in this situation. Haley could still be alive living her life with someone else. You could have been his and he wouldn’t have had to save you.

But here’s the thing, he would save you every single day, until the day he died. Whenever you needed him, he would be there for you. He was going to make up all his mistakes and flaws to you for the rest of your lives.

Aaron had stood up now, wiping your tears, then wiping his.

“I promise you, I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, to Mason. You and him deserve to be loved every minute of every day. When this all over, I’m going to do whatever I can to make up for the 12 years of your relationship with Jake. I promise you.”

“I know you will, Aaron. I know.”

It was one of those intimate moments that were non-sexual. You wanted to kiss him. You really did. But you didn’t know if your judgment was clouded. Yes, Aaron was your first love. Your break-up was hard, especially when his reason for the engagement to end was a cop-out, but did you still love him or were you just grateful he was helping you get out of your relationship with Jake, helping give you a better life so that you could give Mason a better life.

Deep down, you’ll always love Aaron. You always held onto a small sliver of hope that one day Jake would just get tired of you and divorce and then you’d make your way into Aaron’s life, but unfortunately, that didn’t happen the way you wanted to.

“Aaron, I really want to kiss you, but, we can’t.”

“I know. I know.”

You were proud of yourself for holding back. Proud of Aaron for understanding why. As you stood in his arms for just a bit longer, you heard him whisper, “We’re going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

In that moment you knew he was right, but farther down the road, you wanted to believe in him so, so bad. 

Next Part

Tagging: @8crazy-freak8​ @angelmather1​ @rousethemouse​ @lex13cm​ @mrs-ssa-hotch​ @comfortzonequeen​

[invisibleraven]

I tried SO HARD not to send a shower prompt with Reggie but... washing their hair for them for the Reggie pairing of your choice. SORRY NOT SORRY

"This sucks," Julie grumbled as she hobbled into the house. "I hate this. Stupid cast, stupid crutches."

"I know," Reggie replied, closing the door behind them. "But at least it wasn't any worse, we're lucky that way."

"I'm still sorry about your truck," Julie said, flopping down onto the couch, hissing as she lifted her leg onto the ottoman.

"Eh, I was hoping to get a new one eventually anyways," Reggie said, "Now I can, maybe get a nice family car or SUV."

"Not a sports car?" Julie joked.

Reggie laughed. "Like you'd let me."

"True." Julie stretched her arms up, trying to get comfy, but then wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, I stink, I need a shower."

"Well we gotta wrap your cast for that," Reggie said. "Are you gonna be okay to shower alone?"

Julie swore. "No, there's no safety rails and I really don't trust my balance right now. Maybe a bath?"

"I can be your safety rail," Reggie offered.

"Really?"

"You know I love showers," Reggie replied. "Especially with you."

"I don't think it'll be as fun as our usual joint showers-no funny business mister," Julie replied.

"Cross my heart, I'll even put on trunks if you want," Reggie replied, making a motion over his chest. "Now let me get a garbage bag."

Julie soon found herself leaning against the bathroom counter, leg wrapped, and ready to get some of the hospital stink off her. Reggie had rushed off to fins his trunks, as promised, making her promise that she wouldn't attempt to get into the shower without him, even as the bathroom was slowly starting to steam up.

"Come on before we go through all the hot water!"

A strange slapping sound came towards her and Julie had to burst out laughing when she saw Reggie, in his loudest swim trunks, a set of swim flippers, and a snorkel.

"You doofus."

He grinned before kicking the extra gear off, and helped her under the spray. "Anything to hear you laugh again."

Julie grinned, clutching onto his shoulders to keep steady. "So how are we doing this?"

"You hold on, I'll wash," Reggie stated, tipping her head back to soak her curls. He'd washed her hair enough times by now that Julie knew he'd be gentle-he liked helping her maintain her hair, volunteering every time she needed the full treatment.

Julie let her eyes fall closed as Reggie carefully added shampoo, massaging her scalp to get the product in and out, then adding conditioner. It felt divine, and relaxing, as it always did.

"No falling asleep," Reggie chuckled.

"So tempting though," Julie replied as he moved her out of the spray.

"Maybe next time we can do the bath, prop your leg up and you can nap," Reggie replied. "But for now, let's get you clean."

Usually when they showered together, Reggie took his time washing her, often kissing the skin as the suds ran away, leading to them having lots of fun under the spray-but not today. He knew standing was taxing on her, and her stamina was not as it was after being in a hospital bed.

This was less sensual and more methodical, making sure he ran the loofah over her as gently as he could, but still ensuring she got that deeply scrubbed sensation she needed after nothing but sponge baths for the past week or so.

Julie beamed at him as he got each spot, even though he was concentrating on cleaning her, it still felt like worship, like this was what it was to be loved. She never stopped thanking God, or whatever force in the universe was responsible for giving her this man.

"There, squeaky." Reggie grinned up at her, uncaring that the water was plastering his hair to his head, and Julie so wished she could kiss him. "Now, let's finish your hair, dry off, and what do you say to a nap?"

"Fully in favour of one," Julie replied, letting her body be oh so slowly turned back under the spray, her head manipulated this way and that as Reggie worked out the conditioner.

Soon enough the shower was over, and Julie was sure she fell even deeper in love as Reggie towelled her off with the utmost care, scrunching her curls just like she taught him before braiding her hair and wrapping it in the silk scarf she liked to use to sleep.

He was a bit less tender on himself, towelling off quickly, and tossing the trunks over the edge of the tub to dry before he got the garbage bag off her leg. Then helped her move to the bedroom , putting them both in comfy lounge clothes, fetching her crutches only after Julie was tucked into the fresh sheets.

He even had her painkillers and a glass of water ready for her-seriously, what a man!

"You nap, I'm gonna make us something yummy for supper," Reggie said, kissing her forehead.

"You're not staying?" Julie asked around a yawn.

"You know my octopus like tendencies," Reggie replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't wanna jostle your leg."

"I miss cuddles," Julie admitted. "Please stay, just until I fall asleep?"

And well, Reggie was powerless to say no, slipping in beside her, pulling her uninjured side in close, and kissing her temple. "Love you darlin'."

"Yo también te amo."

And with that, feeling clean, loved, and the fuzziness from the fading pain, Julie slept, knowing that Reggie would be there, snoring away when she woke up.

[r4v3nr0s3]

HELLO!

SEPTEMBER 22 is my B-day, I am trying to get my completed series THE EMERALD FORMULA, published.

So I’ve started a GoFundMe! Please check out my story below and if you could like, share, or donate it would mean everything to me.

LEARN MORE BELOW

I'm Raven Rose a queer, Latino, chronically ill, and disabled author and artist. Welcome to my journey as I get ready to be on my own for the first time in 15 years, go back to school, try to get on federal disability in the United States, and get my first novel published. September 22 is my Birthday month so if anyone is feeling extra festive, in lieu of gifts, I'd appreciate help here!

I’m restarting from scratch after a near decade of health problems, and despite great efforts to re-etner the workplace, 6 months time doing what I used to love, put me back in the hospital. For more about me visit my web page !

My lifelong dream has been to become a writer, but I can't do it alone. You can help me reach my goals and achieve my wildest dreams, and I could not be more grateful! Please do whatever you can do - like, share, and/or donate. I'm finally investing in myself and I believe my ideas and this story deserve investment too, so that's why I'm asking for your help.

Now for the goods!

THE EMERALD FORMULA is a series I've been working on close to 20 years.

The Working BLURB for novel 1 is as follows:

Renata Salcedo has never made a wave in her life. In the last few years though, she's broken up with her long term boyfriend, moved into her own place, and was diligently working towards the career of her dreams: a spot at the Smithsonian.

Fine... Adrenaline Junkie, Renata was not. She learned to stay small and figured out how to move quietly enough to stay unnoticed and survive. But it wasn't like she was unsuccessful. Her carefully planned path of baby steps lead her to exactly where she wanted to be: living her boring life and people leaving her alone to do her job. If anything, the job provided her all the excitement she needed. Unearthing old civilizations? Cataloguing the past through objects and art? Thrilling stuff! All done from the safety atop of an orthopedic pillow from behind a desk.

There was only one teensy problem with Renata's goals.

An entire world she knew nothing about existed right under her nose, and it's going to disrupt her boring little life whether she's planned for it or not. And really she can't complain too much, as it all starts with one of her absolute, most favorite things...

A Book

(Story EXCERPT at the bottom too)

REALM OF MATTER is the first novel in a complete 3-Book series called THE EMERALD FORMULA. At this point, the series needs refinement and editing, so both developmental and line editing. Funds will go towards paying the editors. Whatever is left over will go towards my publishing goals, and my intent to get an art degree and start doing marketing and making book covers. The three mock ups below were all created by me in Vector and Photoshop.

This Epic tale is a paranormal adventure with elements or horror, humor, fantasy, and an underlying slow burn human/humanoid monster romance. It features a diverse cast of human characters who break the mold of the Hero's Journey, and reject its sanctity all-together.

Its universe is heavily based on the History of science, magic, and folklore, focusing mainly on Pagan and Catholic mythology to give this Hero's journey a darkly poignant and comedic edge that digs in and punches up. The magical system is highly elemental, and dives deep into Alchemical and Spiritual theory from thousands of years ago. All of the artwork you see was done by me, a self taught artist (thought I'd like to go back to school next year).

I created my own language and phonetics system, also an alphabet.

All so I could make these transmutation circles based on sacred geometry.

YOU CAN READ CHAPTER 1 HERE

THE EMERAD FORMULA: REALM OF MATTER is a snarky thriller that features a bunch of traumatized, relatable saps often thrust into magical and extraordinary circumstances with not much but found family and magic on their side. But if they can't find hope in a hopeless situation against the ultimate evil, no one can. If you vibe with sacrilege, and enjoy flawed, funny characters, family antics, awkward slow burn romances, complex but accessible lore, legacy heroes, ancient monsters, chaos, magic, and mayhem? You've found the series for you.

Please do whatever is accessible to you: liking, sharing, and donating are all extremely important to make this project a reality. This means a lot to me and I greatly appreciate your support.

Thank you for your time,

Raven Rose

[herofics]

Hello, I was wondering if I can have some Headcannons for Aizawa, Present Mic and Hawks if they saw their s/o (gender neutral) fighting a powerful villain on the news, their S/O is all beat up and bloody, but keep on fighting and finally defeat the villain?

Here you go. I hope you like them :D

~Hawks/Takami Keigo~

•Hawks doesn’t really have time to watch the news usually, but you were working on his day off, so he was bored

•So he opened the TV and the news happened to be on

•There was a villain attack going on, not actually even that far from him

•The news crew was zooming in on one of the heroes fighting the villain, and Hawks audibly gasped when he realized it was you

•You seemed to be hurt, but you were still fighting

•”It’s gonna be fine” he kept repeating to himself, but he still found himself jumping up from the couch and rushing out of the apartment

•He knew was sure you could handle it, but he couldn’t help himself

•Hawks is very protective in general, and even though he has full faith in your abilities he just wants to make sure you’re going to be fine

•By the time he gets to the scene, you’ve defeated the villain and even though you’re all bloody and beat up, you’re standing victorious and when you notice him, you just flash him a smile

•You stumble down from on top of the pile of debris you were standing on and Hawks caught you, before you hit your head or something

•”You did good” Hawks says and kisses you on the forehead, while helping you stay up

•You feel like you’re going to pass out, but now that Hawks is there, you would feel safe even if that happened

•You’re loaded into an ambulance despite your protests and Hawks flies to the hospital after you

•You get checked out at the hospital and while you have cuts and bruises all over, and a couple of cracked ribs, no bones are actually broken and you don’t have concussion or anything

•So they stitch you up and send you home with your worried boyfriend

•Hawks is in caretaker mode for the next few days, because he kinda told the safety commission he was going to take care of you and they would just have to deal with it

•You could just lay in bed and he would bring you everything you need but you don’t feel like doing that, so it’s a lot of Hawks telling you to take it easy and “don’t do that, let me help”

•The two of you end up laying on the couch with your head in his lap and him just playing with your hair while you watch TV

~Aizawa Shouta~

•Aizawa was teaching a class when his phone pinged

•He had a news alert set up with your hero name so he would know if something happened to you while he was at the school

•Some of the students commented on how they weren’t allowed to use their phone during class so why was he

•Aizawa told them to shut it and he checked the article with the video attached

•You had just defeated the villain, so you hadn’t had a moment to call him yet and the paramedics insisted you go to the hospital with them

•So when your phone rang and you saw it was Shouta, you knew he was super worried and probably annoyed because you hadn’t contacted him

•You were sitting in the back of the ambulance when you answered the phone

•”Are you okay?” was all that came over the line

•You told him you were going to the hospital but that it was nothing major

•”On the news, it looked like you were in bad shape” he continued

•You reassured him you were fine and that you would see him at home later

•Aizawa is a bit anxious the rest of the day, because he just had a feeling you weren’t telling him everything

•When he got home after school ended, you were already there

•You were covered in bandages and your wrist was in a splint

•”Nothing major, huh?” Aizawa sighed as he stepped into the kitchen where you were making yourself a sandwich

•”Yes Shouta, nothing major. My wrist is gonna be fine in a few months” you said and turned to him

•He just hugged you and told you he was happy you were okay

•Then he insisted you let him make your sandwich, because it seemed kind of difficult to do on one hand

~Present Mic/Yamada Hizashi~

•It’s the weekend, and it’s your last day of work before a week of vacation time and Mic wants to make you dinner

•You’re on day shift so you’re coming home at around six, or at least you were supposed to

•So when you don’t show up, Mic is getting worried, but surely it’s nothing, right?

•He turns on the TV, and the news happened to be on

•It’s running a story from about two hours ago, about you defeating a villain and then getting taken to a hospital

•Mic throws on a jacket and hurries to the hospital, leaving the food on the table and the TV on

•He can’t get the pictures of you all bloody and beat up out of his head

•He gets to the hospital and gets your room number from the nurses

•You’re awake and just sitting on the hospital bed in the examination room

•Mic hugs you tightly and frantically asks if you’re okay

•You assure him you’re fine, but Mic knows you have a habit of downplaying things when you get hurt so he asks the doctor what injuries you have

•You’ve got a concussion, a couple of bruised ribs, a broken hand and you’re covered in cuts and bruises

•Mic gets instructions from the doctor on how to help you and what to do if you get worse

•He would carry you home if you would let him, but he gets a cab and takes you home

•He takes care of you and you’re on sick leave for over a month afterwards

•Of course Mic has to work, but he’s with you as much as he can, his over worrying can even get a bit annoying at some points but he means well

[simp-for-fantasy]

Ruins of the Past

Part 2 of He Loves Me Not

W/C - 1745

A/N- Hi everyone! Sorry this took so long to publish, I had a few things happening in my personal life. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Don't forget to let me know your thoughts! Love you and drink some water today!

Theodores POV

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

September 27th 1994

It started out being just like any other night:

Mattheo chewed loudly in my ear, talking about his latest obsession while Pansy and Enzo argued about who the hottest quidditch player on the Slytherin team was. Draco was too busy brooding about his latest quarrel with Harry to pay attention to Blaizes rant on how Defence Against the Dark Arts was the same every year, and I sat and observed. It is times like these that make me chuckle. These were my friends since my first year. We have been through so much as a group yet we have not changed a bit. These people were my family. Nothing and nobody would ever change that. It is quite ironic that we are supposed to be the most heartless of the Slytherin House, yet, we are always there for each other. 

Since it was already 3 weeks into the term, the new first years have begun to find their groups so there weren't many floaters. This also meant it was a lot louder. So, when the chatter came to a halt, the cause piqued my interest. I looked around to find the source when I spotted a girl who looked like she had slept in a forest. There were twigs in her hair, mud on her face, and her white nightgown. Blood sparkled on her face from a cut that could only be assumed was from a branch. Her feet were bare, trailing mud into the castle. She looked ghastly, her lips were blue and her eyes were sunken in. 

"Who are you" Dumbledore's voice shot through the hall. Her small frame sways in response. She took a stabilizing step forward. Something was wrong with this girl, she looked half-dead. I get out of my seat to go up to her. As I come to the end of the Slytherin table the girl stutters another word; "Help." And she drops. My reflexes kick in and I rush over to her, catching her head before it hits the floor. What in Merlin's name is happening? Who was this girl? Why is she here? And why the hell did she leave wherever she came from without goddamn shoes on!?

First-Person POV

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

September 29th 1994

I wake up in an unfamiliar room. I sifted through my thoughts trying to remember what happened, but it was useless. My brain feels foggy like I'm in a dream and my limbs feel like weights. My eyes crack open to a large room filled with beds and curtains. White sheets cover my body and a tag is wrapped around my wrist. A hospital maybe? I try to sit up but it's no use. I really must have pushed myself. Voices start bleeding through the walls of the room. "We have to question her! The safety of this school could be in danger! Who knows who else she could have with her!" A deep voice says. "I agree however we have to gain her trust first. She won't tell us anything if she doesn't trust us." an older voice says. "Who says we give her an option? I can check to see if I have any veritaserum, and if not I will brew some!" "Severus, it is illegal!" What the hell is veritaserum and who is Severus? 

Run, they will steal your magick.

Memories crash into my mind. 

A castle. Hall. Doors. Candles. Black. 

It burns in my mind. Like my head is being bashed with a rock. The pain is unbearable. I pull at my hair in an attempt to help the pain.

Run, they can't find out.

"You told me to come here! You said it would be safe! You said I would find answers!" I yell. God, what's happening? The voices from outside die out. They heard. My flight or fight kicks in. I rip the cords out of my arm and run to the window. Shit. I must have been on one of the top levels of the castle. I look behind me and see the door handle rattle.  Okay, I've got this. Just don't look down. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in before stepping out of the window and placing my foot on the lip of the tower ledge. A shaky breath comes out as my hands grip the bricks poking out of the tower wall. Far out. Why am I doing this?

"Where is she?" I hear a lady with a thick accent say—shit shit shit. I fasten my pace as I climb down the castle. I survey the wall trying to find my next handhold. Finally finding one just below me and grab it, but it slips. It was all so quick. Suddenly the only thing holding me from a very long fall was a singular brick being strangled by my left hand. I try my hardest not to make noise to give away my whereabouts to the people searching the room. My Legs swing as they try to find grooves to stand on but it's no luck. Shit. This is how I'm gonna die.

Behind you.

"Oh my god can you just shut up for one second! you got me into this mess so please just shut up so I can get myself out!" I whisper to myself still attempting to be quiet. 

Behind you!

"For fucks sake alright!" I turn behind me to see someone on a...broom? Flying? What the hell is this place? Oh shit, they're coming towards me! I sped up to move down the tower. "Hey! Hey! Wait!" Oh hell no. This is not happening. He grabs my hand before I can grab ahold of another hole in the wall. "What the hell! Are you trying to get me to fall?" I yell at the boy. Wait. I recognize him.

Candles. Hall. Boy. Green. Help. Wind.

The splitting pain comes back. My hold on the wall loosens and I fall. But the boy on the broom was quick. He grabs my hand and lifts me onto the broom with him. "Hold on." He says. I wrap my arms around his torso as he makes the broom fly faster. I close my eyes in an attempt to soothe the fears rushing through my mind. 

Finally, we land at an open field with a lake nearby. I can now fully take in this boy. "You.. you were the one that caught me, weren't you?" He gives out a slight laugh."I think I should be asking the questions." He replies. I huff and cross my arms. He clears his throat before saying "So, first things first, who are you?" "I'm Y/N, and you are?" I question. "Theodore." There's a moment of silence before he pipes up again. "What are you doing here? I mean you made quite the entrance on Tuesday. Why were you in a nightgown? Why are you alone?" 

"Woah, one thing at a time pretty boy," I say slightly overwhelmed by all the questions. "Sadly, I can't tell you half of the answers to those questions, so why don't you find some simpler ones that I might be able to answer?" Theodore looks at me with an annoyed expression. He huffs. "Fine. Why are you here? Especially now?" "See that's a difficult question. Ugh. it's complicated." "So make it uncomplicated." He pushes. God this boy truly is a pain in my arse.

The boy - Theodore - continues to push when a tall lady approaches. "Miss L/N, a word." She had the same accent as the lady outside of the hospital room. Shit. I look back at the boy whose face has turned into a cold and hard scowl. I nod my head and follow the woman to a gargoyle statue. "Sherbet Lemon." Random. Just as I was about to ask what we were doing the gargoyle started to rotate. A hidden staircase. Huh. Once the stairs come to a finish, a grand room with books and statues is revealed.

 A heavy voice comes from the room. " Y/n L/n, I presume?" What the hell is going on? The woman gives me an expectant look. Right. "Uh, yes. What's going on?" The voice chuckles and an old man comes into view. "I feel like we should be asking you that. I mean that was quite an entrance!" I studied the man, there was something off about him. He had a corrupted aura. One that wasn't evil at first glance but deep down there was darkness. "Miss L/n?" I was too lost in my thoughts to realize I had been asked a question. "What was that, sorry?" He chuckles again. "I asked if you would like to explain your intentions?" My intentions? "I'm not sure I understand, sir. What intentions?" "Why you're here of course!" 

You can't trust him. 'Well, what am I supposed to say then? He won't let me go if I don't give him an acceptable answer!' She, however, is trustworthy. 'She's not the one asking!'

"Um, I needed help." It was obvious that these people practiced some form of magick, maybe I can reveal a small part of the truth. The man responded. "That part seemed quite apparent, but, what did you need help with? You were obviously in a rush to get here, but why?" I don't need to reveal it all just yet. "I come from a small and old-fashioned village, and my mother always protected me from their views, but she um..." God, even though it happened a year ago, I never truly talked about it. "She died... a year ago, and uh when she passed, I couldn't control what she had taught me. The villagers found out which meant I wasn't safe anymore. She had told me about this place that her mother went to that honed her magick, so I searched and finally found it." The woman's gaze softened as she placed a calming hand on my shoulder. The old man sighs "I am very sorry for your loss. However I must ask, what magick are you talking about?" This part I had yet to figure out. I can't reveal too much as I am still unsure what magick they practice. I know this magick I possess is uncommon even in the dark world. I must be vague yet precise. " Things would react to my emotions. Things on the other side of the room would break, float, or change because of me."

"Right, well I think there is an evident solution. You would be enrolled in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

What!?

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