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fuck-customers · 2 years

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Fuck coworkers/managers/etc

07/26/22, happened 07/24/22

(Tw animal death mid post)

I worked at an animal shelter for 3 weeks…or, technically less because it was 10 total days, only 4 hr shifts starting Tues. the 5th. Long post.

And they did not let me go until Sunday after my shift was nearly fucking over?? It was “at will employment” i guess? Where they can do that legally? I feel it’s insanely disrespectful how they approached it. No warning, no issues brought up. Nothing.

The woman (head of the org?) came over to me around 11:30 (when I’m done at 12)

& said that they can’t keep me as a reg employee

& she thinks I’m a great person

& I have a special connection with the cats.

The problem?? The fucking problem??

All she really said was sort of “It doesn’t seem like this is a good job for you, is it? We’re going to have a lot more animals coming in,

and it’s a lot to keep track of, and we wanted everyone to jump right in. You do things when for ex I say, this needs done, but you seem to be having a hard time. What do you think?”

I assume they chose to get rid of me due to financials and petty issues from this fucking lady that works there.

This job switched to smth completely different from what I signed up for.

We each applied to work with either cats or dogs, can work both but mostly we work separate and it’s individual responsibility.

They planned on scheduling training for us, but wanted to get us set up to work when the animals were planned for, and know basics. They knew I only had some volunteer experience & knowledge from keeping pets.

Ok so I’m there Tues night, Sat & Sun morning. A lot changes thru/out a week. No emails, no phone calls, no group communication. Fuuucck that.

We have reports we’re supposed to write for each shift, so each person coming in knows all the updated info. Apparently no one fucking reads it.

Apparently I don’t get credit for being caring & observant.

The day before I got let go was one of my worst shifts. I go in, and I’m the only one there.

Another big important rule when I first was fucking hired:

2 people are required to be there at 8 am. Me & whoever else, I was there at 8.

She was fucking not, then waited in parking lot for 15 mins knowing I was inside. Came in around 8:30

Okay so this lady.

I only met her once not even actually introduced,

and she was like “oh yeah btw we have this list in order of what needs done,” I’m like ok sure,, don’t fucking trust her word for it as 100% fact bc idk what her fucking role is

She’s not an authority over me, I do what Ik best

Well this day is a week later when she’s late. And I check the animals, turn on lights, read report, wait for second person.

Dogs are 1st priority but as 1 person I’m not taking dogs out of kennel to go outside:

what if they jump or bite or whatever?? Despite trust, that’s basic human decency/safety etc.

She walks in all “did you take dogs out??”

And I said no and she’s like

“You’ve got to take the dogs out first thing”

And I’m like “ok no one was here yet, and there were dead mice in the cats room I cleaned up”

And she said “idc abt dead mice I care abt the dogs”

O fucking k? The cats cld get sick eating mice or from whatever disease the mice had? Or if they are rat poison? Etc

And she said “the dogs are nice, you don’t even have to take them on leashes” ??? Yes you fucking do??? That was a major rule when I started,, they didn’t let me try to put a dog out w/out one??

And this lady lives 5 mins away so she runs home randomly thru out her shifts?? And she’s apparently in a high position in the org?? And runs the social media??

But she had all these “tik tok” ideas for animals yet didn’t know how to fucking use the app?? Why waste time on that shit then??

Later I was cleaning cat & kitten rooms, getting their food/water & I knew one was missing, could not figure out where it was.

Then I turned & saw one on the bottom part of one of their playpen type things??

And it had a collar on it to keep track of it compared to similar ones/potentially due to preparing for adoption?? So it was big & healthy seeming?? Mystery death?

It was lying there, attached to the fabric at the claws, I assumed sleeping, touched it, tried to wake it, realized it was still & dead.

It must’ve passed the night before due to it being stiff & colder to touch. I immediately took out the toy w/it attached & said “I think this kitten is dead??”

And the lady took it & ran to the other room. She exclaimed how she was sure it was “fading kitten syndrome,” like SIDS for kittens, and we had 2 kittens fr the same litter who might die soon too.

Ofc I was upset, lost my composure when returning to the kittens, and then I helped remove all the toys & other items & deep cleaned the room.

Later the staff threw out a file on the kitten & said smth like “we never had that kitten,” as if they were erasing it somehow??

we open 12-5 on weekends. people walked in and I assumed they knew the hours, I was busy filling out a report & such. Big signs outside the building advertise our open hours. They went thru sections & asked abt animals.

The head of the org.‘s husband asked me ‘what’s the deal w these people?’ As if it’s my responsibility when there were 5 of us nearby

So I said “here for adopting I think, or is it not noon yet?” & he was like “yeah it’s not noon”

he informed them of the hrs yet proceeded w allowing them to go thru the process

Later, I was almost done and in the office, a few staff were discussing the new dogs arriving Monday, so I waited, listened, and asked questions.

The head org./woman running the shelter ‘behind the scenes’ said, “no, there won’t be any new rules or anything, we’ll be here,’ meaning extra ppl wld be present to handle all the new animals

& I wouldn’t hv to figure out care on my own for my shift after they’d arrived (I assumed is it what was meant by the answer)

But everyone was already acting slightly suspicious or bemused by my presence/concerns??

And then the next day, mere hours before I was let go, I worked w this girl who was also quiet/kept to herself, so I assumed we were on the same page.

She was fast and got the dogs out, so I went to the cats & isolation room (away from the cats/dogs, w kittens who have health concerns)

In the cat area, she was rushing to get rooms done?? She handed me the litter scoop & said “here, these 2 rooms need done”

& then later was like “oh right that’s what I was going to have you do, spray, wipe off the windows”

O fucking k again why tf are you telling me wtf to do? I’m fine to do what needs done but why are you being this way??

(It seems they all had a group discussion abt me & decided to act/treat me this way??)

I do tasks sort of out of order/seemingly disorganized or scatterbrained bc if I try to get one task done, I hv to get back to another room to get all the fuckign tools I need.

Then I hv to find out where someone left smth,

handle animals who try to run out of rooms, give them attention, notice other issues, etc.

I was offended that she was rushing around and not communicating or seeing where I was/what I was up to

instead of assuming I wasn’t doing what needed done??

And she left the one dog in the indoor play area while she left the room, and he wanted to be let out? I assumed she was taking responsibility for the dogs.

And then he was audibly crying and I was running around the rooms doing other tasks, so again, idk why she fucking left him there ?

It was 11 smth when head org woman and her husband arrived, went into office, etc,

I got to finishing cleaning the windows, checking on things, they’d been there 20+ mins before she told me they were letting me go.

So I’m not sure if they had a discussion in the office and chose to do that that day???

And few mins before it seemed the other girl mentioned me to them??

I feel disrespected because

I was never approached to discuss problems,,

I’m assuming I was left out of group communication maybe unintentionally? What the fuck was I missing??

They changed their expectations and did not do anything to make that clear??

Most of the job includes cleaning up animal shit which is gross and difficult, and I was expected to know how to do everything properly with no fucking training??

I’m prob autistic and I ask several clarifying questions, try to ensure I’m keeping track of new info, but they were extremely disorganized.

As one of my friends said,

they did not set me up for success.

Fuck them, fuck that situation. I was passionate and kind and did my fucking best. They want to keep me as on call and for volunteering but…

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leporellian · 3 years

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please infodump about song of the sky it sounds interesting :))

ok so. song of the sky my novel song of the sky. if you followed my webcomic back when i was doing that this will probably sound more than familiar to you but that's fine

SO song of the sky takes place in like. you know in like, 80s animated kids movies where the mice or rats or whatever have their -secret civilized animals- society and they basically all act like humans except for when they don't? That Trope is the basis of the setting here. all the characters (unless otherwise specified) are cats. they act like people though. humans still exist, and they live in a world for humans! the humans can't understand them or anything. you know that meme from barnyard (2006)? essentially that. and its in chicago. you know how it is

ok now anyway now that we've gotten this out of the way

so like 2 years prior to the story (which is longer to cats ofc) the former ruler of the city cats, king sarastro, was Overthrown by The Starblazer, a revolutionary. sarastro and the starblazer were actually originally close friends but sarastro cared too much abt his private circle of people and not enough abt like, The Actual Citizens Of His City, for the starblazer's comfort and this growing rift led to them McFucking Attacking each other. so the starblazer and her husband become rulers and are like 'yay we did it :) we're better than kings! we can do this better!' but it turns out they CANT do it better bc the husband just Dies of stress and the starblazer is overcome with the same paranoia and fear of her own people that led to acting Like That. and then even though she was just like 'i am better than kings and queens i'm going to elect my heir based on merit :)' like 5 mins ago she decides 'oh no i don't trust anyone besides my own daughter to be next heir lol' so Nothing Has Been Done.

also sarastro is still alive. his kids were killed etc but he himself is still alive and still has his followers. so now we have sarastro and the starblazer, who are both very similar but also really hate each other, vying for control of the city. nothing can go bad here

so the plot kicks off when sarastro is like 'wait i GOT it'. he and his second in command, the speaker, have figured out that if they just steal the starblazer's daughter/heir and wait for the starblazer to die, then they essentially get power handed to them on a platter without having to fight. the morality of this decision can be debated bc on one hand, finding a way to solve things without sending your citizens into battle is a Good Idea, but on the other hand... you know. kidnapping. so naturally the starblazer flips her shit over this

so anyway the main protagonist of this isn't sarastro OR the starblazer even tho they caused all this mess. it's pamina, the starblazer's daughter, and tamino, a randomass(?) housecat she recruited to go get pamina from sarastro.

tamino is filled with wanderlust and really wants to have a destiny and an identifiable purpose for his existence. he also really wants approval from everyone around him, particularly parental figures. no way that can go badly. tamino is accompanied in his quest by papageno, a birdcatcher working for the starblazer who really just doesn't give a shit about this entire situation. tamino tells him 'hey i'm suffering from a pathological need to only value myself on a basis of how much praise and approval i get from authoritative figures' tamino says. 'geez that sucks have you tried like not fucking worrying about it dude' replies papageno. also papageno has a dead fiancee but that's a whole other thing i'll get to her -later-

meanwhile pamina is just so fucking funny to me because she's spending every moment just figuring out how to kill sarastro. she hates that asgore dreemurr looking ass bitch so much. but also a lot of this thinking comes from her wanting to please her mother . pamina is so Fucking Mad but she's also really quiet and biding her time with all this. meanwhile she's accompanied by monostatos, sarastro's apprentice. monostatos is a strategist and a shapeshifter. he thinks that if he can get the chance, he can be made sarastro's heir and fix the whole issue between sarastro and the starblazer. he sees sarastro as his adoptive father and sarastro doesn't give a shit abt him lol its funny but also kind of sad. so basically this is rejection sensitive dysphoria: the novel

also there's the speaker, sarastro's second in command who is just Really Fucking Tired Of Everybody; and the forsaken molly, who just runs around annoying sarastro and the speaker bc she doesn't like them LOL

IF YOU WERE ABLE TO CATCH ANY OF THAT SHIT AND UNDERSTAND IT. You Get Special Victorian Cross Honors, because i am insane <3

#song of the sky #rambles

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t0th3-ark · 3 years

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Introduction Page!

Hello ladies, gents, and everyone in between, I'm Aster! Welcome to my fanfiction and brain rot page (mostly Mobius content). Some fun facts about me are *drumroll*:

18 yo. (my birthday is in May)

Non-binary, Bisexual here! (they/them or sometimes he/him is preferred.)

I'm going into my first year of college in the fall (oh lord).

My favorite color is either black or pink. It's a tie. (I know two different ends of the spectrum)

I graduated high-school this year (2021)

I work at cRAckEr BArrEL in the little shop they have at the front. (it's quite fun ngl. I get payed $10 an hour sometimes thats not enough to deal with ppl's shit and sustain how much I spend.)

I've only had one other job and it was at Kohl's (good lord that place gives me bad dreams).

I have like 4 friends and they all live at least 45 min+ from me same with online friends. (I'm lonely give me attention.)

I live in Texas were it's as hot as the Devil's anus iykyk. It's usually around 90 degrees on a regular basis. They all of a sudden it will be 2 degrees in the middle of spring. (Don't move here -1/10 do not recommend.)

It took my three ½ years to get my official driver's license and when I did it expired without me knowing and I drove with an expired license for a month. (BUT, I didn't get pulled over!)

I'm a SSB™ (simp since birth). I simp for a number of fictional characters such as, Mobius (that's obvious), Geralt of Rivia, Will Graham, Loki, Obi-Wan Kenobi (that one's slightly embarrassing), and others I don't remeber atm.

I have only started to gain confidence to post what I write on here. I will be making a request page for you guys to make requests on.

I've been writing fanfiction since I was a wee little 12 year old. Yes, I know, gross. I was really into Doctor Who fanfiction at that time. I wrote everything on paper cuz I didnt have a phone. (My parents found it recently. I almost "yeeted" myself out a window.)

I love frogs, rats, mice, and turtles (basically any goblincore-ish animal).

The energy I give off is bascially chaotic mentally-ill simp™.

I honestly would write for a living but nobody gets paid enough to write fanfiction .

So instead I'm a visual arts major but that's to be determined.

All of my tiktoks are cringy, change my mind.

I was obsessed with mermaids as a kid, as all children 2015 were. I even made potions and a fake mermaid tail. I was committed, okay?

I'm a 2003 baby in case anyone was wondering.

I have a few hobbies including: art (drawing, learning digital art and painting), music (listening and singing), being in nature, collecting random things in the woods (bonez), watching TV, social media (?), driving around, shopping (rETAIL THERAPY), fashion/makeup/hair, reading (occasionally), and of course writing.

Gator Loki is superior (I love u gator loki 😤)

Single since 2003 🤞🏻(someone PLZ end my suffering (jk)).

I'm the bitch that barks at people who make me 🌌uncomfy🌌.

I will be your partner in crime if asked. (Also will be your bestie)

My sense of humor is horrifyingly unfunny.

Wanna lie under the stars and watch marvel movies on a projector screen 🌟outside🌟?

I'm horribly shy and introverted in person.

Don't worry, I'll get on your nerves by asking if I'm annoying and saying sorry every five seconds.

People say I give good advice 🤷🏻?

So I think that's all. I may add more. Can you tell I'm a chaotic writer?

If you want to follow me on other platforms here are my usernames:

tiktok: aster2305

instagram: aster.leee

(those are the only two I use frequently but if you don't feel comfy adding me on either, you can always pm me here and I'll be glad to talk!)

I love all of you dudes that support my writing and I hope you're day is fantastic! 🤍

#introduction #mobius #fandom #fanfic #loki series #loki laufeyson #mobius x reader #writing #introvert

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sasukyss · 4 years

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Here we go

List of all my animals (dead and alive)

Ok, in gonna divide this into sections depending on the species of the animals, cause I had a fuckton of them.

CATS

1. Marie (dead): she was ginger and white and I think she might of been our first cat? Idk I don't really remember but I do know that we picked her up off the street lol.

2. Beauty (alive): she's our oldest animal! She's white and we've had her for around 10 years and we got her from our plumbers.

3. Milly (dead): she was Beauties daughter, she was a tabby cat. Milly only died a few years ago, she was also one of our longest living animals. Fun fact about her, she got shot and lost feeling in her tail but she lived! She died of feline leukemia lol

4. Molly (dead): Milly's sister, she was also tabby but with darker colouring, I think she got poisoned by one of our neighbours. She was sweet

5. Spider (???): one of Milly's litter of kittens, he was a dark tabby colour and he hated my entire family and he ran away the moment he could

6. Tiger (???): another one of Milly's, he was like Spider but lighter in colouring. He also hated us and ran away.

7. Ariel (???): part of Milly's litter, I named her Ariel cause she had a ginger bit on her head lmao. She hated my entire family and also ran away

8. Lucky (dead): he was my trans cat!! He wasn't really part of Milly's litter cause we found him when he was a newborn in the rubbish, but Milly happened to be feeding the kittens and she took him. He was ginger and white.

9. Angel Milk (???): she was black and white and we only had for a bit and then we dropped her off at this house cause we couldn't look after her and then we never saw her again.

10. Hope (dead): we found her in another village when she was a kitten, sadly she was a carrier of feline leukemia so she died of it and also gave it to my other cat who died a few years later. Hope was white with random patches of tabby fur everywhere

11. Buttercup (dead): A SWEETHEART. She was tabby with super long fur and she was sweet and she had two kittens and I loved her a lot

12. Guppy (dead): one of Buttercups litter, he was super long and he had long dark tabby fur.

13. Kevin (dead): Guppy's brother, he was my neighbours cat and I think he only died a few years ago. He had the same fur and colour as his brother.

14. Biscuit (???): He was ginger and one of my favourite cats, super sweet and I loved him a whole lot

15. Mopsy (dead): we got him along with his sister from our school when he was a kitten. He was super big and had dark tabby fur.

16. Roberta (alive): HOMOPHOBIC BITCH. She's so grumpy and I hate her, I actually have photos of her so here

17. Arya (alive): gay ass cat. We thought he was a girl at first cause he was so pretty but turns out he's a dude and hes super gay

18. Arnold (alive): my beloved, I love you sm. He's great and I'd die for him. He's also bisexy

19. Lucy (alive): BABY PLS COME HOME. She's not dead but she's in England with my brothers, I miss you 💔 here's a pic of her assaulting her child

20. Lucy's litter of kittens whose names I only remember two of so here's a photo of them (all alive minus 1):

DOGS

1. Rocket (dead): stupid and dumb. He was small and was light brown with darker colours on his snout and legs.

2. Daphne (dead): my beloved, you may have been dumb as shit but you cared and thats what counts. She was super scruffy and she was black with light brown on her snout and belly.

3. Daphnes first litter of puppies that was like 6 and idk what happened to any of them cause my mom gave them away at my school and these kids just took them home and I nev r saw any of them again.

4. Fred (alive): we called her Fred cause we thought she was a dude but suprise, she wasn't and she had 13 puppies cause my dad dumped her in this village in the mountains and we found her again cause my uncle bought a house there and we had to check on it. Oh yeah she was also coloured like a Dalmatian lol.

5. Marbles (dead): honestly I don't remember where we got him all I know is that we had him and his brother when they were puppies and one day we found him dead. He was white with brown patches.

6. Domino (alive): my neighbours took him in, he was Marbles brother and he grew up to be fucking huge. Hes white with brown patches.

7. Goldy (alive): part of Daphnes second litter of puppies, Daphne had like 7 but one got killed by Fred who had her puppies at the same time. Yes I was there and saw her with it in her mouth. It wasn't fun. She's called Goldy cause she had blonde fur lmao

8. Tinkerbell (dead): looked like a Yorky but longer and scruffier, she could jump super high and she got run over by my neighbour

9. May (dead): she didn't last long, she was white and was a puppy and she also got ran over by my neighbour

10. Annabelle (alive): she looks like a rat, she's from this litter of puppies we found near one of our neighbours houses, shes white with black patches.

11. Toby (dead): he was brown and big and he would always break out of the dog house. He got hit by a car and it broke his spine so they had to put him down.

HAMSTERS

We had two generations of them, the first batch had babies and thats how we figured out that if you touch baby hamsters their mother will eat them cause she doesn't recognize their scent. So in total 8 hamsters (gen. 1 and 2) and some like 6 babies.

FISH

We had a fucktonnn, and they'd die every few months so we'd got back to this festival where we got them. I think the ones we had the longest was one of mine (Aurora) and one of my brothers (Stitch).

CHICKENS

Ok so we had three gens of them

Gen 1: I don't remember a lot but ik the rooster was called Scooby-Doo (my younger brothers choice). Also they got killed by this thing called a genet that Fred ended up killing

Gen 2: again idkkk, ik they were black and they hated these other chickens we had. Also they ate baby mice

Gen 3: they were this single rooster and these two chickens, the rooster kept getting beat up by the ducks so we had to move him away. Just so you know chickens don't die pretty.

DUCKS

Yes we had fucking ducks, cause my brothers a dumbass and wanted some for a reason

Roberto (alive): idkk ik hes the one that actually lived and we need up giving him to one of my mom's friends.

Roberta (dead): idk what happened to this one I didn't really care tbh.

RABBITS

Snowy (dead): ok so we called Snowy sumo rabbit cause she was fucking huge and albino. Also funny story, but we thought Snowy was a dude so we would get her other rabbits but she ended up killing them all, so we eventually figured out Snowy was a girl so we got her a dude rabbit, and yeah she got pregnant but she also killed the dude rabbit, so yeah...

She had like two litters of them and they all died lol.

Carrots (dead): I miss you 💔 super great, even if she didn't like anyone. She also had kid rabbits and these ones actually lived. Also she was orange so that's why we called her carrots.

Thumper (dead):, he was a dwarf rabbit, he was black and white and he was the father of these other two rabbits we had.

Bruce (alive): idk why he's called Bruce, I thinks he's black and white but I don't remember

Jean (alive): again, idk about the name. This one's white and brown I think.

BIRDS

Ok so we had one budgie which we called Peanut and I don't remember what happened to him, and then we had two lovebirds and I'm pretty sure we named one after my uncle cause the bird was bald like him. Yes they are both dead.

#long post #god this took fucking ages #tw animal death #i dont go into detail but yeah theres mentions of dead puppies and kittens and dogs being run over lol #never doing this again

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xxeyesonlyxx · 4 years

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Massachusetts is actually limbo. We don't know how our weather works. Spring lasts a month if we're lucky. 2 weeks in April and the first 2 of May. March is called surprise winter storm month. We love the sun but probably only see it every few weeks, depending on the time of year and the angle at which the eagle screams. We've had 3 tornados in past two years. It's September but the temperature this week has been in the 70s. But literally as I type this a cold front seems to be rolling in, clouds are blotting out the sun, and yet I can still smell that warm air. We are constantly in the state of "Will this be a normal rain or is a storm coming?"

The leaves began slowly falling a month ago. It was still very warm out. The first two weeks of September always smell like fresh cut grass and watermelon jolly ranchers. All the trees grow sideways. We get snow every year, and still over react when we hear it's on its way.

Our fucking monument is a rock, and there's a gang that's literally just the Massachusetts area code.

Our fauna is fucking nuts. We apparently have rattle snakes, (I WAS SHOOK WHEN I LEARNED THAT SHIT) and while rare, apparently we also have black widow spiders. There's a type of spider that lives here, that if it bites you, can cause necrosis. Our ecosystem mimics that lifecycle example of textbooks; rabbit overpop so foxes and coyotes overpop, then no food, so pop drops. Also there are deer sometimes. We had a bear make its way into Cape Cod a few years ago. It was in my yard at one point. That was fun. Turkeys are insane. They will attack you, your car, your dog, or run away screaming. It's always a toss up. Our mice can get to be the size of rats and or gerbils, especially field boys, because they thrive in our type of environment.

Our taxes are always weird Numbers, and none of us seem to know how they work. Our healthcare is free if you're poor (I had Masshealth and hoooboy. They told me I was 106% below the poverty line.. so like. I was double poor? I'm not entirely sure the people running it are smart...) But it also is shite. You literally should just go to your local hospital and have them fill out your paperwork if you need to renew it, because it will never be correct otherwise. After telling me I was like. Uber poor. They then proceeded to claim I was making too much money to receive the free health care. Apparently they had me listed as working 5 jobs, because despite me having to constantly update them about any income changes (IE I quit that job. I no longer work there. I am employed at a different place.) they would then just add that to the list of jobs I currently worked at. I had to drive two hours away to get a tooth removed because no dental surgeon near me could do it as they didn't take my insurance. (I may or may not be venting... Let me have this.)

Tourists. They arrive in droves and expect to have perfect weather. I may or may not have started to take great pleasure in telling ppl they missed out on the lovely weather we'd had the week before, when it had been gross and muggy the next. (If I don't get to enjoy the nice weather when it comes to us, neither do you Sharon!) They also demand you tell them if the local historical museums and attractions are interesting. Lady, why would I visit the JFK museum, I have grown up with all of them, my mom grew up with them and went to school with them. I have no need the hear their stories for the 15th million time. And why do you think it will be easy to just wander anywhere near the kennedy compound without getting in trouble? You can't just visit them, they are not a zoo attraction! (Some of them are really chill but it depends on which kid you talk to.) My favorite was "Oh my god do they really live there?! All year round?" Like... Idk? I would assume they probably travel, but like... We're not all buddy buddy with them? I don't know if they're at the house on the vineyard this week, but if they call I'll let you know! "Plymouth rock was not as interesting as I thought it would be." It's... It's a rock. What did you think it would take and preform a dance number? The plantation ain't real either! You wanna tell me how disappointed you were that those are actors and that none of them actually live there? (It does happen and it does make me die inside.) Yes. Everything on cape cod is nautical themed, we are famous for it, you want generic go to the mall. I don't know if anyone around here are locally sourced seafood servers. Ask them!

HALLOWEEN IS WEIRD. Salem goes overboard and so suddenly people seem to think the rest of massachusetts needs to get spooky. Every village has ghost tours. I have never been on one but yes, I have seen the marsh lady, she is terrifying. And yes I did see the ghost horse. No it's not particularly interesting, but we've all seen them, and we pretend not to.

Boston is historical as fuck. You wanna learn history shit? Go there. Concord and Lexington are just as historical. Salem is only cool during the fall, nothing else is really open during the summer there.

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE MEDIA SHIT:

Boondock Saints is the most Boston Bullshit (in a good way) movie you will ever see. And the second one was... Ok? The Covenant was like... If Salem was trying to advertise itself by making it sexy and edgy to teenage girls? If you need serious Boston rep for music: Dropkick Murphy's, Godsmack, and Aerosmith. (We also count Rob Zombie, despite him being from New York? Don't ask me. I don't have answers.) Godsmack is the best. No take backs.

Massachusetts is not real. Anyone who says otherwise is selling you something.

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

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1. Have you ever bought 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendy’s? Yeah, back when I could still eat spicy foods I used to get the spicy chicken nuggets there. They were bombbb. 2. How much would you charge to pet-sit a Chihuahua for 5 days? Oh man... I don’t like the yappiness, I’m sorry. :X I don’t know if I could do it. Especially 5 days... that’s a lot. 3. Have you ever played Bejeweled? I probably have at some point. 4. When was the last time you slipped while taking a shower? I haven’t had that issue. 5. Does your mom have a Facebook? Yep.

6. Who would you never give a kidney to? A close friend/family. <<< I’m assuming you thought this was asking who you would give a kidney to, yeah? Anyway, I don’t know if I could give a kidney to anyone. Like, I don’t know if mine are strong enough to function with just one. I I used to get them checked once a year growing up, but not as often since I became an adult. I mean, they seem to be doing their thing. I just don’t know how my body would react with just one. So yeah, possibly no one. 7. What was the last show you watched on Nickelodeon? On TeenNick I often watch their 90s segment at night. They air Rugrats, Doug, Hey Arnold, and Rocko’s Modern Life. I only like the first 3. 8. Have you ever been bitten by a rat? Nooooo. 9. Do you feel sticky right now? ...No. 10. Why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? I haven’t worn makeup in like a year, but anyway when I did I admit I didn’t always wash it off at the end of the day. It was just out of laziness, honestly. 11. Do you think that's healthy? I know it’s not good for the skin, ya gotta let it breathe and whatnot. 12. Then why do you do it? I was a lazy bitch. 13. Who is the most annoying person you know? Me. I get on my own damn nerves. The other night I don’t know wth was wrong with me, but I was in a really chatty mood for some reason and I was like, ‘oh my god SHUT UP’ 14. What does he/she do that makes you annoyed by them? I’m just annoying. I’m moody, sensitive, whiny, clingy (when it comes to my mom), I randomly get in chatty moods, and I can’t seem to get my shit together. 15. How often do you use a film camera and develop pictures? I don’t. 16. Do you like Smiley Central? What’s that? 17. What do you like/dislike about the show, One Tree Hill? I never watched it. 18. Why do people watch that stuff? They like it? We all have our preferences. I watch other shows of that type/genre, I just never got into that one. 19. Why are headbands coming "back in style”? I didn’t know they ever really went out of style. 20. Did you wear headbands when you were younger? Sometimes. 21. How many people do you know are on vacation right now? No one that I know of. 22. Do Uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me? They’re good. 23. How are people's personalities living in the north, as opposed to the south? Uhhh. 24. What has been the corniest thing you've seen/heard today? Nothing so far. 25. Do puppy dog faces work on you? When actual dogs make them. haha. My doggo knows this. 26. What do you think nudists do when they are on their period? Why are you even thinking about that. 27. Don't say tampon, what if they just did not have the ability to use one? Wtf. 28. Well...would you ever try a nudist cult for a day? Noooo. 29. How about Amish...for a month? No. 30. Describe the shirt you are wearing. It’s a powder blue Adidas hoodie. 31. Would you ever go streaking? Noooo. 32. Right now? No. I don’t like being nude if you didn’t pick up on that by now. I don’t feel comfortable and I’m waaaaaay too self-conscious. I don’t even want to look at myself. 33. When was the last time you cut your hair and fucked it up? I used to cut my own bangs back when I had them and I did an okay job. 34. When was the last time you tried to be seductive? Ha, there’s nothing seductive about me. I’m awkward af. 35. What is your favourite kind of wallpaper? I don’t have one. 36. Do you ever joke with your friend about humping? Uh, no. 37. What was the last research paper you wrote about? I don’t recall. 38. Did you ever buy those pencils with your name already printed on them? I’m sure I had some when I was a kid. 39. Did it piss you off when you couldn't find your name? I have a very common name. 40. Do you have a curvy tummy? No. 41. Doesn't internet on the cell phone suck? It works great on mine. I think you just aged yourself with this question, survey. The internet on smart phones works good. 42. When was the last time you bought cereal for the prize inside? Not since I was a kid. The prizes were always cheesy, but I did like the color changing spoons that were in some. That was cool, ha. 43. Why do some Mexicans down the street look at you and everything… Wtf. 44. How many frames are in your room? 3. 45. What was the last fight you had about? Blah. 46. Have you ever had any doctors come to your house to check up on you? For a few months last year I had an in-home nurse that came twice a week. 47. What is the weirdest thing you have done in 7th grade? Pfft, who knows. 48. Are those mice with little red balls on it hard to control? You’re an odd one, survey maker. 49. What makes you ticked, get pissed off easily? I’m an irritable, moody person and some days it can really be anything. Nagging and getting lectured about things I already know and don’t need to be reminded of/lectured to about will definitely do it. I also don’t like being told to “chill out” or “calm down.” 50. Does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? I’m good right now, but I do like it.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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fbwzoo · 6 years

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I’m super curious, how did you decide you wanted the pets you have? My first exotic pet (a turtle) was basically brought in by my dad bc he’s has no impulse control but after reserching that pets care I decided I liked caring for hands-off animals who needed varied diets. (Also turtles make horrible impulse buys kids don’t do what my dad did lol)

I’m glad the turtle ended up working well for you! Definitely not a good impulse purchase, oof. And uhhh I ramble a ton, so this turned out really long. So I’ll put the long stories under a read more and the tl;dr version is:

Hedgehogs - wanted small animal pet to be my very own, but wasn’t interested in small rodents at the time. Hedgehogs were new & interesting, and I stuck with them because I loved their personalities & that for the most part, they just snuggle with you while you read, watch TV, etc.

Hermit crabs - commonly neglected pet, which I’m a sucker for. My mentality was “well, I can provide better than like 95% of people”. I’ve stuck with them because I love to feed them & they’re amusing to watch…and I’m going to keep ending up with them bc I can still provide better than like 95% of people so I have a hard time saying no.

Ball python - commonly neglected pet & I’ve always wanted to get into reptiles since my mom wouldn’t let me before. Got Charis specifically because previous owner was my roomie’s cousin & horribly neglected her.

Cats - I love cats & wanted more since losing family cat when I was 19. Fell in love with Ebony specifically at wildlife rehab & got her as soon as I had a full-time job secured (I literally called from the parking lot to give the news & arrange to go get her). Ditto chose us bc we’re suckers!

If you want to read more of my ramblings, look under the cut! :)

I got into hedgehogs because when I turned 18, my mom agreed to let me get my own pet that would be just mine (as the dog/cat were family pets). Couldn’t be a reptile, I wasn’t terribly interested in fish, and it had to be fairly small - she ruled out rabbits & ferrets. So I was looking at hamsters, mice, rats, etc. I wasn’t very interested in hamsters, mice, & other small rodents at the time, so kept looking. I found out about hedgehogs and was fascinated. So I ended up getting my Lily! I didn’t do nearly enough research before I got her, unfortunately, but luckily she was forgiving of my mistakes & I spent the first year I had her getting things fixed & doing my best to spoil her. I still love hedgehogs because they’re fairly chill and don’t absolutely need tons of hands-on handling time, but they’re still good for bundling in a blanket and snuggling with you while you read, watch TV, etc.

When I moved out, I hadn’t had a hedgehog for several years by that point & was desperate to have them again. So I ended up in contact with a rescue in the KC area - who I ended up befriending, and now he’s my bf (and his husband is my partner too)!! ♥ I got Bindi and Pancake both from him & he also has my Bassy boy too.

For the hermit crabs, I read an article about them sometime in college, about how they’re all taken from the wild & about the shell shortage in the wild. It went into a bit of detail about how their needs are often unknown or overlooked as well…and I was hooked. I’m a sucker for commonly neglected animals! I did some more reading & decided I wanted to rescue hermit crabs eventually. I ended up getting the chance shortly afterwards because I was talking (infodumping) to a classmate about what hermit crabs need & it turned out she had two that she wasn’t providing all this stuff for. She wasn’t really interested in improving things & offered them to me. When I posted about it on FB, a neighbor who only had one left after losing the second offered me theirs as well. So I spent 2 weeks in a flurry setting up a 40g tank & brought home my first three crabs! 3.5 years later……a 130g tank of 19, and a 55g tank of 5. Sigh. XD I still like having hermit crabs because again, they’re hands-off & I love feeding them! They have a massively varied diet and that’s my biggest interest within my animal interest. Plus they’re fun to watch because they’re dorks.

Charis, my ball python, I got because I wanted a ball python for a few years, again due to the commonly-neglected type thing. They’re so common in the pet trade that people don’t always do enough research, and there’s so much misinformation out there on how big of enclosures to give them & that they “don’t need enrichment”, which is bullshit. My roommate’s cousin had Charis & was NOT taking care of her at all. Seriously - she was in a 20g tank with one open hide, one water bowl, no heat, and no light. Prior to that he was keeping her in a PILLOWCASE for at least a month because he didn’t have a tank set up for her. She has scars on her because when he first got her at a couple years old, he didn’t know better & she had access to a heat bulb in her tank - which of course she wrapped around & got burned. It was just a mess and I’m so glad she’s safe with me now (though she lives at my partners’ house bc of apartment rules). Once I’m living in a bigger place where snakes aren’t banned, I would like to rescue another ball python & perhaps some other snake species as well! It’ll depend on how much room I have to work with though, and it’ll be slow due to wanting to purchase good sized cages prior to getting the sneks.

The cats…Idk, I love kitties! I missed having a cat around after we lost our family cat when I was around 19, I think. I was still around them a lot from petsitting & working at Wildside. I fell in love with Ebony at Wildside & told the rehabber there for years that she was mine & I was taking her home someday. She was quiet, but loved when someone would come over & give her attention, and liked to climb up on your shoulders to purr in your ear & lick your cheek. So literally the day that I was offered a full-time job at my workplace here, I called Wildside from the parking lot & asked if I could still have her & made plans to drive up & get her at the end of the month.

Ditto….well, she chose us because we’re suckers. XD Gotta feed the poor skinny stray cat…and pet it…and shit, she’s friendly….oh look she came straight into the living room….crap she’s really lovey and adorable and oops, she’s ours now.

#asks #my pets #fbw rambles #fbw rambles a LOT #I like hands off animals too #as you can see by my critters #the cats are the most hands-on #and Ebony is my perfect cat bc she's just so happy to lay near us most of the time #and sleep while we do things #she's curled up in a ball on her quilt next to me rn #she's v cute

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

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Survey #179

“if i showed you my soul, would you cover your eyes?”

If you’re dating someone, how long has it been? One year, one month. If you’re a girl, have you ever had the urge shave your hair? Um, no. How hot do summers for you get? Highest has been like 110 or so. Do you live by a forest? No. Is there a real fireplace in your house? No. What do you prefer: Small cars, hybrids, trucks or SUVs? Normal cars? What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read? No book's ever scared me. Do your parents drink? No. Do you have any pet fish? No. What’s your favorite seafood to eat? I just like shrimp. What does your best friend love that you hate? Seafood (except what is mentioned above). Have you ever seen The Twilight Zone? A few at school, but I didn't really pay attention. Name the creepiest horror movie character for you: Ghostface. Are you a person that’s scared of things like bugs, spiders, mice and rats? Only some bugs and spiders. What do you believe in more: Ghosts or demons? Ghosts. Is it ever okay for a woman to ask out a man? Actually fuck off. Do people confide in you? Sometimes. Actually very flattering that most people I do care/have cared about tend(ed) to. Ever been around someone who makes you feel stupid? My psychiatrist makes me feel like a caveman and Girt is super smart, but neither intentionally do it. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy and Grampa. Have you ever cried while reading a book? Yup. How many college degrees do you want? At least two. Do you like animals? LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know if I could be friends with someone who didn't. What do you wear to sleep? Pj pants and a tank. Do you have anyone who is a surrogate parent/sibling to you? No. Ever fallen asleep sitting up? Maybe? How well do you know the people you live with? I have a super strong connection w/ my mom, so guess. Do you have any heroes? Mark, my mom, the Holly Hill staff, Sara, Rhett and Link. Do you take your time when making an important decision? Always, almost. But if I'm angry or manically depressed, I'm impulsive as hell. Do you enjoy comedy shows? Yeah. Do you own any jerseys? No. Do you have a song stuck in your head? "Voices" by Motionless In White, which I'm binging. Is there anything worrying you right now? Not actively. Do you believe life is what you make it? In some ways, but there are many extreme situations that you can't really change, and no light can be made of them. Travel anywhere, where would it be? At this very instant... idk. I don't want to travel 'til I have a new camera. Meet anyone, who would it be? do you???????????? know me?????????????????????????????? Bring anyone dead back to life, who would it be? Oh boy, idk. Freddie Mercury, maybe? Thought of him as as I answer this question, it's his death anniversary. Get anything for free for the rest of your life what would it be? Ummmm I don't drive yet, but gasoline sounds like the best answer here. Change one thing about your life, what would it be? Not being long-distance with Sara. Have any superpower what would it be? Be a druid. Eliminate one of your human needs which would you get rid of? I don't wanna go to the bathroom weeps I can't drink anything without having to pee five minutes later. Change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be? Be a slim goddess with an a s s leave me and my dreams alone. Change one of your personality traits which would you choose? Assuming the worst. Be talented at anything instantly what would you choose? Social interaction. Forget one event in your life which would you choose? The night of the breakup. That night still feels surreal; it literally felt like the apocalypse. Nooo words do what I felt even a quarter of justice. Change one law in your country, which would you change? Alter the second amendment to some degree. What was the last thing that made you feel good? Mom was super proud of me for doing a lot of the dishes. I absolutely haaaate doing it. Do you have an annoying neighbor? Not really. Do you get exercise daily? No. What school subject do/did you hate the most? Math. How do you feel about God? The Christian one, I'm assuming you mean? I wouldn't be surprised if someone assumed me a Satanist if I answered this without detail. What is one thing you would hate about living in the era before yours? Lack of technology weeps. Which historical era interests you the most? Ehhhh '80s? Are you disabled in any way? No. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? HOUSE. Who do you wish you were still friends with? Megan, Hannia, Miranda... and I guess that's it if you only mean those my bond was officially cut with, not those I just drifted from. Do you prefer Small Business Saturday, Black Friday, or Cyber Monday? HUNNY I'm all about Cyber Monday. Who do you care about the most? In some contexts myself, but in others, Sara. What country do you think produces the best musical artists? England, I suppose? What is a song that always makes you happy? No song absolutely without fail is capable of that. Would you be able to choose between your mom and dad? Maybe. It'd be ridiculously difficult. Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some. Are you closer to your mom or dad’s family? Mom's, but I only recall seeing Dad's once. How old are the last two people you kissed? 20, and... he's 22 or 23? Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed last night? Sara. When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? Aaron, not since high school. Juan, forever ago. Jason, well over a year ago. Tyler, sometime last year. Girt, maybe a few weeks back. Do you cry easily? My eyelids are onion skin. Ever cried while you were on the phone with the last person you kissed? Over Skype. Your parents said they were moving, what would your reaction be? I don't live with Dad, so it wouldn't affect me. If Mom said that, I'd be pretty meh, mostly because I don't want to pack up my room and put all this shit back up. Especially when I don't plan on living here for many more years, so I'd just have to do it again. Do you have any text messages that you don’t want other people to read? Uhhh I don't think? I mean there's some I'd prefer to stay completely between me and the recipient, but I wouldn't be humiliated or something. Is it hard for you to get over someone? APPARENTLY. Your last kiss, on a bed or standing? Standing. Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yeah. Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? The laundry room. It's the first room from the back door. Would you rather take a cruise ship or airplane to get to your destination? Plane. Do you like winter? Yes. Are you trying to grow out your hair? That's not in my plans for the foreseeable future. Which friend are you most similar to? Sara. Do you have the right time set on your microwave? Yeah. Do you have a flat screen TV or just a regular box? Flat screen. Do you know how to change the oil in your car? No. Do you like Tootsie Rolls? I'll eat one in a tootsie pop, but no, I don't really enjoy them. What are you favorite kind of chips? Hot Cheetos. Have you taken any medicine recently? For what? Yeah, usual psychiatric prescriptions, pain relievers, and some allergy medicine. Does the water in your shower take a long time to get warm? Not really. Do you get your eyebrows waxed? Not anymore. Just don't see the point. Has anyone given you flowers recently? No. Do you like to go fishing? Yeah, but I always gently put the fish back. Has anyone you know been arrested recently? No. Do you have more than 1 email address? Yeah, but only because of Google's intrusive takeover shit. Do you think you will have the same job 2 years from now? N/A Is there someplace you would rather be right now? Man, I wanna be at Sara's super badly. Have you ever sang in front of a crowd? Yeah, but not alone. What kind of bathing suit do you wear? A black onesie with a skirt thing. Do you like your eyes? I suppose. Do you think you are pretty? I'd find myself okay if I was smaller. Who was the last person you talked to in person? Mom. Do you want kids? NO. Tell me what your backpack looks like: I miss my Ouija board one. :'< Even had a planchette zipper. I need to get a new one for school. Has someone you were dating ever cheated on you? No. Have you ever cheated? I never could. What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? I'm not sure. Has anyone a grade above you ever had a crush on you? A few above. Describe the weirdest car you’ve ever seen. Who knows. Are you any good at improv? Never tried, never will, holy shit. I know I'd be a nightmare and feel cripplingly awkward. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Either our late boxer mix Cali or this lab/something ginormous named Harley, but we didn't have him as an adult so I can't really remember. When did you last stay in a hotel, and where? Not since leaving for a dance competition at the beach yeeeaaars ago. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? I don't want to go refresh my memory. But I know we have a nachos Lunchable, and that's The Good Shit. Which do you prefer: iPhones, Android, Blackberries, or something else? iPhones. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? No, it's pretty gross imo. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? Not yet. But when I can purchase my own shit, I shall be DECKED OUT, my friends. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Oh, absolutely milk. What kind of milk do you usually use? I think Ma normally gets 2%? Who was the last person who was rude to you? Mom, probably? Would you ever let the barista at Starbucks make a random drink for you? No. Have you ever used a fake name at Starbucks? Never been, as I don't drink coffee. Have you ever left a note in a library book? Don't believe so. Do you live in a house, condo, apartment, or dorm? House. Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Yes; bit tanner than my normal skin. Would you ever film a YouTube video with no make-up on and messy hair? Prolly not 'cuz I'm a self-conscious fuck. What is the most comfortable type of pants, in your opinion? Men's pj pants. Have you ever had a cat? Dozens over the course of my life. Have you ever had a dog? Yeah, a handful. Have you ever any other kind of animal? Ball pythons, Chinese water dragon, iguana, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, hamsters... Have you ever had a pet rock? lul yes. Do you own a bobblehead? No. Do you love someone who treats you like a piece of shit? Ha, fuck that. What’s your favorite DIY Halloween costume that you’ve seen? I dunno, seen so many!! What is your favorite gender-neutral name? I have quite a few. Jamie, Dakota, Aiden, etc. etc. Do you want to give your kids common names or unique names? IF I was to have kids, there's no way they'd have a very common name. What is your favorite type of braid? I had to look them up lmao. Maybe a curled plait? What is your favorite tattoo that you’ve seen? WHAT A QUESTION FOR ME. Idk!! But I like hyperrealistic ones. What is something you have too many of? Stuffed animals I refuse to give away lmao. What collection are you thinking of starting? Nothing new. Well, I'd love SotC merchandise, but that is some expeeeensive shit. Do you collect anything now? If so, what? Meerkat stuff and Silent Hill memorabilia. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? All I care about is Hot Topic and Spencer's, but rue21 sometimes has some nice graphic tees. What is one thing you and your mom NEVER agree on? The "Bentley needs to go" situation. Have you ever snuck food into a movie theater? Uh yeah, the rule's stupid, b it's even more ridiculous to be willing to pay such prices for these things. The only thing I get myself is popcorn. What time zone are you in? EST. Honestly, have you ever trespassed? Where? Maybe? I think as a kid? Can you count to 10 in any other language? Which one(s)? German. Maybe Spanish? Do you have a favorite cousin? Who is it? No. Do either of your parents have tattoos? No. Mom wants at least one relating to us kids, though. Which was better: freeze tag or hide & go seek? Hide and seek. Have you ever taken a family portrait? Not a big one/with the extended fam. What pizza place do you usually order from? Domino's. For your birthday do people buy you a cake or bake you one? Buy. Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? No, gross to me. In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? A bedroom. What do you occupy your time with on flights? Listening to my iPod and looking out the window. When was your last major illness? What was it? Uhhhh... maybe that outrageous ear infection. Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite) Ummm. Probably Uncle Donny (not my actual uncle, we just called him that). He is/was the husband of our babysitter. Be nice to know how he's doing or if he's even still alive. Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years? Remember that Antz story? That. Because judgment/rejection. :^) Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years? Uhhhh idk. I'm sure there's something. Most embarrassing moment from your high school years? So I had this anxious/fidgeting habit of pulling my eyebrow hairs out. And it got to a point I went quite a while with almost none and it was suuuuper noticeable. Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground? No. Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set? YEAH, and I'm neutral now. Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk? No. What’s the most delicious food you’ve ever eaten in your life? This chicken that a family friend had at her wedding had to be like, gourmet. It was fucking delicious. Then spicy shrimp fritas from OG are some GOOD SHIT, I love not-too-crispy bacon, uhhhh. Do you pick at scabs? YEAH. What was your favorite part of prom? Taking the pictures. Have you ever performed CPR on anyone? No. Did you ever stutter, or have a hard time pronouncing? I stutter, but it's from anxiety. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? One-1 1/2. Do you enjoy erotic stories? If so, do you read them or write them? NO, they're so uncomfortable. Which accent/dialect sounds perfect to you? British. Which accent/dialect sounds horrible to you? I hate southern, yet here I am in the South. Which language sounds perfect to you? Latin. Which language sounds horrible to you? Idk off the top of my head. Do you have a favorite gaming platform? I'm a PS2 stan. What do you think is the most adorable thing in the whole world? Meerkat pups. What’s the most horrible thing in the whole world? Just one? Do you ever have to censor the things you say around certain people? Yes. Is there a cafe you go to regularly and the staff knows your “usual”? No. If your boy/girlfriend wanted to have a sex change, would you support them? No. *opens the gate for the onslaught of hate* Well, I suppose I should specify I wouldn't suddenly hate or even dislike them, I just wouldn't stay with them as a couple. Do you like the movies by Tim Burton? YEAH!!!! His style is everything. What do you think of cannibals? Ew. Did you ever have a Razor scooter? Yeah. What’s something other people think about you that you don’t agree with? That I'm not godawful with kids when I totally am. How do you deal with criticism? I'm probably going to feel self-conscious and rejected to some degree no matter how gently you word it. Which national or global tragedy were you closest to and how did it affect you? 9/11, but I was too young to really understand. Do you think you’re smarter than the average person? If so, why? Definitely depends on the subject of focus. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Hmmm, thorough... I'm unsure. It may have been aaaall the way back when I was questioning something biblical. What was the last thing to upset you? Myself. What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? A romper. Has anyone ever said that you’re delusional? If so, what for? No, but I absolutely and entirely was for a long, long time believing Jason still loved me somehow and that I could bring him back. Are you doing everything you can to make yourself happy? I sure as heeeeeeeeeell do a lot, but I could do more. What is a holiday, that is NOT celebrated in your country, that you would like to celebrate? *shrugs* Interesting question, I'm just not educated enough on this subject. Which nation’s culture (excl. your own) do you find the most interesting? Japan's. What is something you judge about other people? How they treat others. What do you consider to be childish? Being petty, own a child's temper, serious immaturity, etc.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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aknazer · 7 years

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Plagg’s Day Out: Cheese

Also on Ao3

Day 2 >>

“Not a whole lot to say.” Plagg yawned widely, tiny fangs glinting in the low light. “A bunch of stuff happened, and here I am.”

“‘A bunch of stuff happened and here I am.’” Adrien repeated incredulously. “That’s the best you can do? You were gone for over twenty-four hours, Plagg!”

“What, were you counting?” The tiny god asked dubiously. “And I wasn’t gone. I was near by...mostly. Well, for a while, anyway. Within a couple hundred meters or so...”

“Plagg, this is no time for your crap!” Adrien hissed. “What if something had happened? What if there had been an akuma? Who would've helped Ladybug then?”

“Calm down,” Plagg drawled, “It was fine.”

“It was not fine!” Adrien snapped, then glanced around for anybody nearby before lowering his voice. “What the hell happened, Plagg? Seriously.”

“What, you want the long version?” Plagg eyed Adrien skeptically. At his resolute nod, Plagg heaved a sigh. “Fine, fine…”

It had been a pretty typical day. Adrien had been up at some ungodly hour for a photo shoot, which unfortunately meant that Plagg was also up at some ungodly hour for a photo shoot. And even if all he’d had to do was duck into Adrien’s school bag, it was still an uncomfortable, noisy, bumpy and altogether not very restful experience.

After the photo shoot, they’d loaded into the car. Adrien stunk of various chemicals, most of which the boy in question couldn’t smell, but were still fairly offensive to Plagg’s nose. There was the usual scents, now mostly un-offensive, that Plagg had learned to associate with Adrien being clean. Things like the scent of his preferred shampoo and deodorant, of the lingering soap scent left on clean clothing, and of the body spray Adrien liked.

...And god, that kid sprayed a ton of the stuff. Maybe it was a teenager thing? Or a teen boy thing? Plagg had been overwhelmed by it at first, and had since suggested (more than once) that Adrien should just change his freaking name to Axe. Adrien would usually argue that it was to combat the persistent cheese odor that seemed to linger, right before he smirked at Plagg and sprayed more of it, just to watch Plagg gag.

But the usual scents weren’t nearly as bad as the lingering scent of everything else. The various compounds and chemicals from the clothing, makeup, and even the makeup remover that all hung around Adrien like a cloud during and after shoots. The smell of sweat and the faintly baked smell of too-hot lights. Honestly, Plagg needed even more cheese just to ward off the foul odors. Adrien himself was either used to, or immune to, the smells, because they didn’t seem to bother him as he reviewed for his history exam on the way to school.

They never made it.

It was lunchtime, which normally meant cheese, but today meant “akuma attack.” Adrien had fled the car, losing his driver in the swatch of fleeing civilians, before ducking into a nearby alley to transform.

The akuma attack had taken all of lunch, so by the time Plagg and Adrien made it to school, they were both tired, cranky and hungry. Plagg had snuck into Tikki’s bag, but all she had was cookies. (And even if they wouldn’t make him sick, they wouldn’t fuel him and were unpleasant to eat.) By the time they’d made it home, both of them were running on fumes.

Usually once they were in Adrien’s room nobody bothered them unless it was to summon them somewhere else. And even then, it usually wasn’t until closer to dinnertime that anybody would appear. So both the boy and the kwami were caught flat-footed when a knock sounded at the door right as Plagg about to take his first, glorious bite of cheese.

“Plagg, hide!” Adrien hissed.

“What? Where? No!” Plagg complained. “I’m hungry!”

“Take the cheese with you!” Adrien retorted as the knock sounded again.

“I can’t lift it!” Plagg whined, demonstrating as he tried to haul the wheel up with him. It rose a few centimeters off of the ground before it dropped, hitting the table with a thump.

“Argh...just...just take it outside!” Adrien scooped up the cheese wheel and opened his balcony door, setting it against the wall out of sight.

“What? No! It’s too warm for it out there, it’ll melt” Plagg wailed.

“Don’t be a baby, it’s only for a few minutes!” Adrien tossed over his shoulder as he hurried to answer the persistent knocking. Growling under his breath about his chosen’s complete lack of refinement, Plagg phased through the sliding door after his snack.

And he had been right, dammit: it was too hot for outside cheese. Adrien usually kept his cheese in a plastic container stored in his backpack, which wasn’t ideal, but also wasn’t ruined by his body heat. Outside was probably about as toasty as a teenage boy, or so Plagg assumed. Still he scooped up the cheese and began eating.

He was about halfway through the wheel when he began slowing down. It had been a while - usually, the people around Adrien weren’t the type to chat. About three quarters through the wheel, and Plagg was mostly full, but Adrien still hadn’t appeared.

Chancing a look around, Plagg turned to peer inside the glass door. Adrien stood in the middle of the room, still and polite while his father spoke to him. He nodded occasionally, but Plagg could see from the body language that Adrien didn’t like whatever his old man was saying.

Typical. Plagg didn’t usually appreciate whatever Gabriel said either. The man was cold and distant at best, and demanded far more out of his son than was reasonable. To say nothing of his other, even more despicable habits.

A fluttering of wings had Plagg’s head whipping around, his eyes blowing wide as he screeched.

The (ballsy as fuck) pigeon just looked at him, cheese wedge dangling from it’s pointy little beak unrepentantly.

“Oh no you don’t!” Plagg screeched, darting towards the bird. “You flying rat! Give it back!”

The pigeon made a considering noise, then fluttered its wings threateningly. Plagg halted, hovering in the air and hissing menacingly.

The pigeon apparently decided that this was the right moment to make a break for it. Plagg howled as the pigeon took flight, lunging forward and leaping onto the offending rodent’s neck.

“Drop it! Drop it!” He hissed, trying to strangle the overgrown sparrow. “That cheese is mine! I haven’t eaten all day. All day, you goddamn beast! I protect this city, and that is my cheese!”

The pigeon didn’t care, and since trying to throttle the bird wasn’t having the desired effect, Plagg gave up with a sigh to consider his options.

Glancing over the side of the bird’s wing, he scowled. He was alarmingly high up. Not because of the height itself - being able to fly kind of nixed that particular fear - but because not the city was just a damn speck by this point, and he wasn’t rightly sure where he was.

“Well, this is just great.” Plagg grumbled, frowning as he tried to figure out the animal's flight path. Not that it was really that big of a deal if he wasn’t around - Wayzz and Trixx could help with any akuma that came up, and Pollen could be useful too, when she wasn’t being a little shit. But Fu got cranky if Plagg vanished for too long, and even if it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t think that would matter much to the old man.

All of this, Plagg thought bitterly, and the bird still had his cheese. At least it was flying lower now, but since Plagg didn’t know where he was, it really wasn’t much help.

Except… Plagg groaned and tried not to drool as the most amazing aroma hit his nose. It was like a choir of melty angels, calling him home…

“Well, you have fun pal.” He informed the pigeon, patting it fondly. “I’m out.”

The bird didn’t really seem to care, but since it had delivered him to a cheesy nirvana, Plagg was inclined to forgive it. Pushing up, he hovered for a moment, watching the bird (and his cheese) continue on, before diving down towards the building below.

Un fromagerie. An entire store filled with nothing but cheese. Swiss, parmesan, brie, muenster...everything from “abbaye de belloc” to “zwister” was there, including his beloved camembert. There were even a few specialty cheeses like Pule and Epoisses (though they were small in quantity, and the latter was in a specially sealed container).

Really, could he be blamed for taking just a teeny, tiny bite?

...Of everything?

He hadn’t meant to, honest, but it was cheese. Creamy swiss, tangy cheddar, mild muenster - even if camembert was his favorite, he loved them all. It wasn’t until he overheard a customer complaining about a chunk of the wheel missing, that he realized he may have gone just a bit overboard.

“What is this?” The shopkeeper muttered in mounting horror as he examined his wares. “What… What happened? The cheeses - they were fine this morning! Everything untouched and accounted for! What could have done this in such a short time?”

“Could it be mice?” The shop owner’s wife was examining the shelves.

“We’ll be ruined!” The owner wailed, arms flailing amusingly as he unashamedly panicked. “Word will get out that we’re infested with vermin, and nobody will come here! The restaurants will stop buying from us! The people will tell their families to go somewhere else! We’ll be run out of town!”

Sitting behind a particularly delicious red windsor, Plagg rather thought he was exaggerating. Stuffing another piece of it in his mouth, Plagg savored the port flavor and rolled his eyes are the man’s continuing histrionics. As if agreeing with him, the wife rolled her eyes, crossing to the door and flipping the open sign over to close the shop.

“Or,” she pointed out reasonably as the man continued to rant about how they would be living in the streets next week, “we could just take the nibbled cheeses off of the shelves? We can cut them up into smaller pieces and work about the bites, and sell them that way. Or set them out as samples. Not every wheel has been eaten, see? Just...one wheel of each. How odd.” She mused to herself as she wandered along the shelves, eyes narrowed as she scooped up the cheese Plagg had helped himself to.

Maybe it’s time for me to head out. Plagg mused, snagging another hunk of windsor for the road. Maybe he could get Adrien to buy him some? Then again, he had a good thing running with the camembert, no use giving the boy ammunition.

Ducking through the open door, Plagg found himself in the store room. He paused, his pilfered cheese half-forgotten in his palm as he surveyed rows and rows of cheeses. Far more than what was out front, certainly. Barrels and bins and shelves. Oak and cedar and glass and…

Chat Noir who? There were three other heroes; they didn’t need Chat Noir.

“The back!” The owner bellowed from the front. “We must hurry and make sure they have not defiled the stores!”

Stuffing the cheese into his mouth, Plagg darted under the lowest shelf, snugging himself in the shadows and ignoring the dust bunnies lingering there. Shoes squeaked past as the owner paced the shelves, muttering about mouse traps and pest control. Plagg was nervously considering his options when a knock sounded from the back door.

“Hello? Delivery!” Came the muffled voice from the other side.

“Ah! The cream.” The owner muttered, pausing in his inspection of his wares to open the door.

More shoes, and wheels, as a cart of dairy products entered. The two men chatted, pleasantries and idle conversation as milk and creams and cheeses found homes in refrigerated unit and on shelves.

“Go, or stay?” Plagg muttered to himself. On one hand, it was a cheese paradise. On the other, the two men were now talking about same-day exterminators and closing the store early.

At least the cart smelled of cheese. Also other dairy products, but cheese was in there. And delivery van was shiny, sunlight glinting off of chrome wheels. Maybe he could get a snack in there too, and it wouldn’t be so bad?

Taking advantage of the visible feet facing away from him, Plagg darted out from under the shelf and through the back door, swerving out of their line of sight as he made his way to the van. Ducking inside the back, he was disappointed to find that all of the wares were tightly sealed...and there wasn’t as much cheese as he had initially thought. A box or two, but it certainly didn’t compare to the cheese mecca he’d just left.

Sighing, Plagg phased through one of the cheese cartons, settling back onto the bed of shredded paper and patting the wheel of brie fondly. He kind of wanted more, but… his stomach was finally full. And it was dark and comfy, and smelled much better than a teenage boy’s backpack.

And with that being his last thought, Plagg drifted off.

It was the jostling that woke him up. The sensation of being lifted, the jolt of being set down, and the bumping as his crate was pushed along before the whole process repeated. Plagg blinked, bleary-eyed and confused, wondering where he was now, and how he was going to get home from here.

Wherever “here” was.

There were new voices, vaguely familiar ones as he was moved along. The delivery man, chatting as he pushed the cart. A cheerful, rumbling baritone from above signaled a tall man, and a softer sweeter alto came from lower down - probably a woman.

Plagg waited until everything was still and quiet before phasing out of the crate. He was in another store room, he thought. Not a cheese one, though, which was slightly disappointing. It was pitch dark, with only a sliver of light coming from the crack under the door. The voices were much further off, barely discernible even to his ears, so he figured it was safe to take a peek.

Just to be certain, Plagg stayed low as he went through the door, pausing on the other side to look around. Huge ovens were lined against a far wall, two bellowing noisily while the other two sat quiescent and awaiting use. A large block table took up most of the room, the shelf underneath it holding sacks of flour and containers of something sweet-smelling in a variety of colors. Two aged stools were shoved under the far end, paint chipping around the base of the legs. More shelves lined walls, holding rows of breads and cakes and supplies.

Plagg considered the two doors, each on an opposite side of the room. One was the stainless steel swinging type he associated with restaurants, and the other was plain wood. Voices and noises and chatter lay beyond the steel one, and Plagg could hear people talking, the sound of another door opening and closing, and the steady hum of traffic beyond that. The other...quiet.

Decisions, decisions… Plagg drifted around the room, unable to resist exploring his new surroundings while he considered his options.

“Alright, I’ll grab some more!”

The voice was too close for Plagg to safely duck back into the storage, so he darted up, settling behind a container of salt and a spice rack as a tall man lumbered into the area, swinging door squeaking in his wake.

That’s not a man, that’s a damn bear. Plagg mentally amended. The man was almost as hulking as that green guy Adrien occasionally watched on his television, with a barrel-like chest and arms, and the height to pull both off without looking like a gorilla. Still, he was fairly graceful despite his size, moving nimbly through the cramped space to the gleaming refrigerators that sat humming between the counter and the storage room door. Pulling open the gleaming silver door, he reached it and extracted a tray of dainty pastries, giving Plagg a tantalizing glimpse of something almost as coveted as his delicious camembert. Oblivious, the man shut the door and turned, humming as the swinging door signalled his exit.

Whispering a quick thank you to every (other) god he knew of, Plagg made a beeline for the refrigerator, phasing through it and hovering over the rack of chilled cheesecakes.

“But which to choose…?” He muttered to himself, eying them lined up like round soldiers awaiting inspection. And damn, if he wasn’t just the cat for the job. The raspberry cheesecake smelled heavenly, but the white chocolate made it too sweet. Same for the chocolate one. Another had glazed strawberries heaped on top, and Plagg paused to admire how they glistened, but...no.

Classic is always best, he decided, turning from inspecting the pecans crusting the top of the turtle one to grin at the original cheesecake sitting innocently in the middle. The perfect blend of sweet and creamy cheese. How was he supposed to resist?

Marinette swung through the bakery door, waving to her parents as she entered. Papa was setting chilled fruit tarts in a refrigerated display case, and mama was ringing up the customers at the register.

“Marinette!” Her father grinned at her. “Can you please grab a cheesecake from the back? We’re almost out.”

“Sure, Papa.” Marinette agreed, pausing to examine the case to determine which ones were already displayed. Sure enough, they had been rather popular today - raspberry especially. Nodding, Marinette pushed open the door into the kitchen, mind already reviewing what she needed to get done before patrol tonight. Opening the refrigerator door, Marinette gasped.

“Uh...meow?” The little black creature - kwami! - clearly hadn’t heard her coming. Frozen in shock, his paws were covered in cheesecake as his big green eyes blinked up at her in surprise.

“Are- Are-” Marinette stammered, torn between laughter and tears. A kwami! There was a kwami in their refrigerator, eating cheesecake.

Wait a second. Marinette’s eyes narrowed, taking in the carnage that had been a perfect and whole original cheesecake, and the kwami, presumably Plagg, that should have been with Chat!

“Are you freaking kidding me?” Marinette hissed, reaching out and snatching the little thing up. Cheesecake squished between her fingers as it gaped at her, his head poking out comically above her clenched fist. “What the hell are you doing here!”

“Um, well, there was a pigeon…” Plagg began nervously.

“Why are you not with Chat?” Marinette had swung fully from shock to anger, and was in no mood for word games.

“I told you!” Plagg’s eyes narrowed. “There was a pigeon.”

Marinette tightened her grip a bit and shook him. “You are supposed to be with Chat. Is he here? No! Then why are you?”

“I told you!” Plagg hissed. “Now lay off!”

“Oh, I don’t think so.” Marinette frowned. “You have some explaining to do.”

“I am a god.” Plagg sneered from inside her fist. “I will smite you.”

“You are a menace, who is eating my parent’s livelihood.” Marinette snapped, bringing Plagg closer to her face.

“Plagg!” Tikki materialized next to her shoulder. “What are you doing here? Where’s Chat?”

“I keep trying to tell you!” Plagg wailed. “But someone won’t let me talk!”

“You are sitting in my fridge, covered in cheesecake.” Marinette said sternly. “Unless Chat is out front buying bread, you have no reason to be here. And even if he is out front buying bread, you have no reason to be eating the merchandise!”

“Marinette?” Her father’s voice sounded through the door, and all three creatures winced.

“Coming, Papa!” Marinette called, sighing and turning her gaze back to Plagg, who was still in her fist. “Okay. New plan. I am going to take Papa a cheesecake, and you are going to stay here and not touch anything until I return! Tikki, can you please guard him?”

“I can!” Tikki giggled. “Do you want us to go to your room instead? It might be safer there.”

Marinette eyed Plagg. “Can I trust you to do that?”

“On my honor as a cat.” Plagg intoned solemnly.

“I have far too much experience with cats to take that seriously.” Marinette drawled, rolling her eyes, “but I suppose it will have to do.”

“Me-ouch.” Plagg grumbled under his breath as Marinette released her grip. The two traded looks before Marinette turned, opening the refrigerator once more and withdrawing the ruined cheesecake. Sighing, she eyed Plagg balefully.

Next to him, Tikki nudged him. Hard.

“Sorry.” Plagg muttered.

Marinette’s wry smile said she didn’t buy it for a minute, but she didn’t call him out on it either a she tipped the rest of the cake into the trash before snagging the raspberry one and heading off.

“Come on, Plagg.” Tikki tugged on his arm imploringly.

By the time Marinette made it up to her room, the two kwami were sitting in her scrap basket, chatting. The two turned to look up at her as she entered.

“Okay.” Marinette gripped the bridge of her nose to ward off the impending headache. How did she get into these things? “Now, what actually happened? Is everything okay? Is Chat Noir alright?”

“Kitten’s fine.” Plagg’s head tilted to the side, his back leg coming up to scratch his ear in such a… a cat-like manner, that Marinette couldn’t take it. She clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle.

Both kwami looked at her questioningly.

“You- you just looked like such a cat!” Marinette giggled, pointing to where Plagg’s paw was still poised mid-scratch.

Plagg huffed and lowered his leg, turning his face away from her. “If you’re gonna be like that-”

“Oh, stop.” Tikki chided, reaching over to pat him. “It is funny.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Marinette ruined the effect by giggling at Plagg’s obvious offense.

“No you’re not.” Plagg mumbled.

“Well, you weren’t sorry about the cheesecake.” Marinette shot back.

“What did you say to your parents, anyway?” Tikki injected as Plagg opened his mouth to reply.

“Oh.” Marinette blew out a breath that ruffled her bangs. “I told them I tripped and dropped it. Sad thing is, that’s completely believable. So, Plagg, what actually happened?”

“Oh, Marinette, you won’t believe it!” Tikki giggled, darting up to hover in front of her friend’s face excitedly. “It actually does involve a pigeon!”

“Really?” Marinette leaned around Tikki to give Plagg a questioning look.

Plagg harrumphed moodily. “Yes, Princess, it actually does. I wasn’t lying you know.”

“Oh no.” Marinette waved a finger at him, lips pursed. “I already have one cat calling me silly nicknames. I am not adding a second.”

“Sure about that, are you?” Plagg asked archly. When Marinette opened her mouth to reply, eyes narrowing, he asked “So, do you want to hear the story or not?”

Marinette paused and her mouth clicked shut as she debated the merits of continuing an argument she likely wouldn’t win, versus hearing Plagg’s tale. It wasn’t much of a contest, really.

“Hm.” She said finally, dropping to sit cross-legged next to the scrap basket. “Very well; you may continue.”

“Said the princess to the peon.” Plagg smirked, hurrying on as Marinette’s eyes narrowed. “So I was sitting on the balcony eating cheese, ‘cause I got tossed out of the bedroom, when this pigeon swoops down…”

#ml #Plagg Appreciation Week #We are Miraculous #Plagg's Day Out

23 notes · View notes

seolhysns · 7 years

Note

um 1-50 do it for me

1. selfie

sdjflak i’ll link to one of my most recent selfies that i haven’t posted here, which you can find here.

2. what would you name your future kids?

i don’t particularly have any plans to have children. i’m open to the idea of adopting, but i’ve honestly not thought much about that.

3. do you miss anyone?

um just my family ?? but other than that, like i always tell her, i always miss steph.

4. what are you looking forward to?

the summer quarter to end so i can have a little break & also for autumn weather.

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

STEPH !! she’s the cutest person in the world & i love her.

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

depends on the person, usually. for example, it was easy to get over my best friend from high school because she treated me like shit all throughout last year & once i was over it, i’ve moved on n never looked back.

7. what was your life like last year?

a little more adventurous, i’d say ?? i moved out pretty quickly, made the decision to enroll in school after like a week or two, i got drunk a few times, i was a little more adventurous. but it’s helped me become more comfortable in my skin.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

can’t say i have.

9. who did you last see in person?

well, my roommate is just a few feet away from me ?? n my house mate is next door. but other than that, i saw the neighbors earlier.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

for the most part, yes. i’m pretty good at managing my feelings, and if i need time apart, i tend to walk away n cry on my own or take a walk.

11. are you listening to music right now?

no, i paused it all. i was listening to aoa ( as i always do ).

12. what is something you want right now?

off the top of my head ?? a hot dog.

13. how do you feel right now?

content. happy that i’m talking to steph tbh.

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

i can’t tell u the last time anyone’s hugged me. despite how i am to my friends on here, i’m not that affectionate in person.

15. personality description

oh god ... uh i’m creative, passionate, ambitious, loyal & individualistic ?? i can be a little too critical at times, and sometimes come off really rude with the way i handle things. i’m a very private person, who comes off very shy, yet standoffish to strangers, but i’m really outspoken, blunt, n sometimes dramatic. i can tend to be a bit of a Mom bc i basically assumed the mom role growing up to take care of my siblings n i’m very stern, sometimes not very flexible n moody.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

all the time, but i know when to hold my tongue for the most part.

17. opinion on insecurities.

everyone has them, u wouldn’t be human if u didn’t. u can either live with it, or try to better it.

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?

no.

19. have you ever been to New York?

i’ve only been out of state once, and it was to nevada.

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

it changes all the time. i’ve been listening to remember by 9muses a lot lately. also mirror by fiestar. but 10 seconds by aoa is one of my all time faves lately.

21. age and birthday?

23 & july 7.

22. description of crush.

steph is the cutest person in the world n i love my wife more than anyone n anything.

23. fear(s)

heights, snakes, mice/rats, sharks, the dark, etc.

24. height

5′4

25. role model

eh idk if i’d say i have one.

26. idol(s)

uh this probably isn’t what this means, but seolhyun, yuta, momo, ten & jaehyun are my favorite idols atm.

27. things i hate

lol like racists, transphobes, homophobes, etc idk what else to say.

28. i’ll love you if…

not to be that person, but if u give me food dlskjaf that always puts me in a good mood.

29. favourite film(s)

selena, sleeping beauty, pocahontas, scooby doo on zombie island, lilo & stich, probably others.

30. favourite tv show(s)

buffy right now.

31. 3 random facts

uh i’m a fashion design student, the tips of my hair are brown & i have full lips.

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

i can’t even name a male friend off the top of my head.

33. something you want to learn

i want to learn how to dance.

34. most embarrassing moment

the time i almost got ran over by a bed on wheels used as a stage prop is the first thing that comes to mind, but i’m sure there are more.

35. favourite subject

in high school, it was drama. now, it’s patternmaking. i mean, u have to keep in mind, i go to art school n take mostly fashion classes.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

get a good job in my field, pay off student loans & be happy ??

37. favourite actor/actress

i can’t really name one off the top of my head ??

38. favourite comedian(s)

lol uhhhh ??

39. favourite sport(s)

dance ??

40. favourite memory

i can’t really think of one in particular tbh. i’m not that sentimental.

41. relationship status

i’m single, but all that matters is that i’m married to steph.

42. favourite book(s)

the foxhole court comes to mind.

43. favourite song ever

oh god uh ... just for the sake of this question, i’m gonna say 10 seconds.

44. age you get mistaken for

like 20.

45. how you found out about your idol

i found out abt seolhyun bc i saw her in a cf n went wow she’s so pretty n a friend at the time looked at it n went “oh i think that’s seolhyun from aoa” so i immediately looked up aoa n lo n behold.

46. what my last text message says

funny bc my mom texted as i was writing this n she sent a meme with laughing emojis saying it was my sister.

47. turn ons

i’m not really a sexual person. but i’ve always liked suspenders, i like the ripped jeans + fishnet leggings look, i love tennis skirts. i feel like i’m not even listing turn ons. what’s a turn on like idk i’m so bad at this.

48. turn offs

i get turned off by people a lot when they say stupid n ignorant things.

49. where i want to be right now

nowhere in particular ?? it’s late n i’m in bed ... right where i wanna be.

50. favourite picture of your idol

one of my all time favorites at the moment is this.

#no offense but i love steph with my whole heart #she is too good to me #answered #jonginrps

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qorillas · 7 years

Note

I wanna know abt ur lab

all right kids sit down and hold on tight it’s time to hear about Biggie Mike and the Rat Pack and our Murder Cage Fun Times

so i started working as an undergrad assistant in this biology lab at my university about three weeks ago and it’s really cool but also really wild like. the professor is this really chill dude that runs the museum of vertebrate zoology here and studies evolutionary genetics (which is what i wanna focus on for my major) and we all call him the professor but to my friends i call him Biggie Mike and one day i know that i’m gonna slip up and call him that to his face and it’s gonna be Bad but anyway.

we’re doing an experiment to study the speciation of two different subspecies of mouse (musculus and domesticus) and to identify the genes involved in species variation and essentially what we’re doing is putting the two subspecies in an enclosure (which i call a Murder Cage) together and letting the population just do its thing for the next ten generations which is gonna take like. 2 years lmao and throughout the whole thing we’re gonna sequence the dna of every single damn mouse that’s born and see how the genes change in the population over time. SO we have like a shit ton of mice and right now we have one murder cage that has like 250 mice in it and we’re getting a second one ready and building wire food holders and cleaning it out and everything it’s a lot of physical field work and my arms hurt

the reason why this lab is so Wild though is because like. the murder cages aren’t actually located anywhere near the university?? ? biggie mike somehow found out about these old enclosures way up in the hills behind us that were used like 50 years ago in some other experiment and his immediate thought was, Hey We Could Put Mice In That. so every day at like 8:30am me and two other undergrads who i have affectionately dubbed the Rat Pack pile into this old truck that’s owned by the university and we drive for 15 minutes way way up into the hills and into the woods to the murder cages so we can like feed the mice and check on them

the reason why i call the enclosures Murder Cages though is because apparently whoever built these enclosures had never seen a horror movie or had any sense of fear because like. the cages are essentially 4 foot deep pits lined with concrete and covered with these heavy wire grates and they really just look like they were built by some axe murderer to keep his victims in and they’re just really terrifying. PLUS they’re in the woods and they’re filled with mice and all those factors together basically make it look like somewhere where you’re probably going to get killed and/or tortured horribly and they’ll find your body a week later

so taking all this into account of course on the first day we go up there biggie mike decides that the best way to show us how to change the water for the mice is to literally jump down into the pit and close the Murder Cage on top of him, locking himself in there with 250 live mice. and then because the Murder Cages are heavy and because biggie mike is not actually that big me and the rest of the rat pack had to heave the cage door open to rescue him

we also lined all the murder cages with sherman traps so that if any mice from the experiment escape we can catch them and put them back in but like??? the traps are doing a good job of catching things but a bad job of catching the right things? ?? last week someone opened a trap and a bird exploded out of the trap right into their face and so far we have caught three wild mice, two of which were hypothermic and which i got to warm up in my hands before releasing which was really cool. biggie mike said really happily last week “oh man just wait until we find a squirrel or a snake i’ll have to teach you guys to handle those” and one member of the rat pack looked like they were going to cry

on top of that we’re cleaning out a second set of murder cages to duplicate the experiment and, you kno, 50 years is a Long Time so there were a ton of spiders and leaves and all around Bad Shit in them so we had to clean them out and not only were there about ten thousand spiders the size of my hand but i also found very many dead things. the most memorable one was in this little tunnel that we use for the mice to climb between pits and i put my hand in to see what was blocking it up and there was a giant dead bird in there that had like melded itself to the concrete when it rotted so that was Fun. a few of the other tunnels have caps in them that are rusted shut and nobody can open them so biggie mike tried to get this big hulking wrestler to pry it open with a crowbar and anyway now biggie mike is out 40 bucks and has a crowbar that is bent in half

all of this sounds really intimidating and i’m sure you’re like, ariel, why the Hell and Fuck would you work for a lab like this?? ?? and my answer is science is fucking weird as hell but it’s also really fun and next week we get to open up the nests and start genotyping the newborn mice of the first generation and i’m really excited. also because i did not spend two hours cleaning out a murder cage full of spiders to leave before the fun stuff starts

#this is LONG i'm sorry #i love biggie mike and the rat pack though #we have Lab Memes now it's really fun #pipe down pipe down

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toomanysurveys9 · 5 years

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1. Have you ever bought 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendy’s? I don’t think so, because I don’t think I remember them ever being so cheap. I’ve bought Wendy’s chicken nuggets though. 2. How much would you charge to pet-sit a Chihuahua for 5 days? Depends on the dog and who I was babysitting for. 3. Have you ever played Bejeweled? I have. I used to enjoy it. 4. When was the last time you slipped while taking a shower? It’s been awhile. 5. Does your mom have a Facebook? Yes.

6. Who would you never give a kidney to? The only ones I WOULD give one to would be my family or closest friends.

7. What was the last show you watched on Nickelodeon? Probably the Loud House because of the children that live here. Or SpongeBob. Or Paw Patrol. One of those three. 8. Have you ever been bitten by a rat? Yeah. 9. Do you feel sticky right now? No. 10. Why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? Because I’m tired and just don’t care. 11. Do you think that’s healthy? Not even a little. 12. Then why do you do it? Because I don’t care about myself. 13. Who is the most annoying person you know? Probably me. Lol. Or maybe Jacob some days, like when all he wants to do is fuck and I’m just not in the mood because of everything on my plate and being tired and then he gets shitty af. 14. What does he/she do that makes you annoyed by them? I kind of explained Jacob a little. I get annoyed with myself because I’m 26 with two kids, so I should have my life in better shape than it is I feel like. Plus my emotional state. 15. How often do you use a film camera and develop pictures? I don’t. I use the camera on my phone. 16. Do you like Smiley Central? No clue what it is, but probably not. 17. What do you like/dislike about the show, One Tree Hill? I have no opinion since I’ve never seen it. 18. Why do people watch that stuff? You don’t have to think much when you watch shows like that. You can just be there and not have to worry or whatever. 19. Why are headbands coming “back in style”? I don’t know or care.. 20. Did you wear headbands when you were younger? Yeah. 21. How many people do you know are on vacation right now? No one that I know of. 22. Do Uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me? Yeah, I won’t eat them. I feel like after being frozen, the bread will be soggy and gross, or the peanut butter and/or jelly is going to taste funky. 23. How are people’s personalities living in the north, as opposed to the south? In the south, the people seem to be nicer and less in a hurry I guess. It also seems cheaper in some areas, although more expensive in the bigger cities, at least compared to where I live. The scenery is also better in the south - where I live (in the north), we have corn fields and flatness. 24. What has been the corniest thing you’ve seen/heard today? Nothing comes to mind. 25. Do puppy dog faces work on you? If my kids were to do them, or you know, actual puppies. That’s about it. 26. What do you think nudists do when they are on their period? I have no idea. They might use tampons? Or a diva cup? I know nothing of that culture. 27. Don’t say tampon, what if they just did not have the ability to use one? Too late. I already did. I don’t know. Nor do I care. 28. Well…would you ever try a nudist cult for a day? No. 29. How about Amish…for a month? No. 30. Describe the shirt you are wearing. It’s black and white. Kind of striped but uneven? It’s my usual interview shirt. 31. Would you ever go streaking? Probably not. 32. Right now? No. 33. When was the last time you cut your hair and fucked it up? I don’t know. 34. When was the last time you tried to be seductive? I can’t. I’m too awkward and weird. And feel uncomfortable. 35. What is your favourite kind of wallpaper? I don’t really like wallpaper. 36. Do you ever joke with your friend about humping? Not really. 37. What was the last research paper you wrote about? I don’t remember. 38. Did you ever buy those pencils with your name already printed on them? No. I’ve never seen my name on those types of things. It made me sad a bit growing up. Lol. 39. Did it piss you off when you couldn’t find your name? Not pissed off, no. 40. Do you have a curvy tummy? Since having two kids, yeah. More than I would like. 41. Doesn’t internet on the cell phone suck? Mine is usually decent. 42. When was the last time you bought cereal for the prize inside? I was a kid, and technically my parents bought it. Oh, I take that back. I totally might have done this for Wyatt at least once. 43. Why do some Mexicans down the street look at you and everything… ...you’ve got to be kidding me with this shit. 44. How many frames are in your room? I don’t know. 45. What was the last fight you had about? Something petty, I am sure. 46. Have you ever had any doctors come to your house to check up on you? No. 47. What is the weirdest thing you have done in 7th grade? I gave Jacob my lunches because I didn’t eat them. Uhm. I don’t know besides that. 48. Are those mice with little red balls on it hard to control? Huh? 49. What makes you ticked, get pissed off easily? Abusive people. 50. Does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? Not right this second, no.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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ecotone99 · 5 years

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[SF] A World of Wonder and Terror

So, this is my first story, and I am excited to share this. Part 2 will come out when I feel like making it.

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Part 1

"What was the harm in going back to the past and changing a few things?" My teacher gave me a stern look.

"Now listen here,James Erwin,messing with the past is dangerous because it could alter the future in drastic ways. Stepping on a single dragonfly in the wilderness could make humans be slaves to reptile men." My class started giggling at that part.

"And are you sure these reptile men aren't hot? I mean,if they are,then I would gladly be enslaved to them." The class roared in laughter! It was usually my thing.

"James Erwin,get those images of hot reptile anime things out of your head! This is serious!" The bell started to ring.

"Class dismissed. Remember tomorrow we will be using the Time Machines,so be prepared."

I got to my dorm around 3 in the afternoon. My homework was pretty easy,just calculating the distance between two points. At seven my three roomates arrived. Two were in my class and about to go into the Time Machine.

Helen is in my class and is always the first to laugh at my jokes. She gets really nervous around me for some reason. Whenever she sees my face,she looks the other way and starts twiddling with her long hair.

Carl is the other one in my class and we call him “Emo to the Extremo.” He believes that total anarchy is the only way humans can be satisfied. Ironically enough,he is under 18.

Jonathan is in another class and have already used the Time Machines. He is cautious and doesn’t believe that humans should try to change the past. He believes Time Travel is a tool that should be heavily guarded and regulated. I say he hates having fun together.

“So James,about to jack off to some vampire anime girls.” Jonathan also is a big prick. “Which are you gonna look at tonight,the Ts or the As?” Helen looks like she is going to run back to her room.

“Johno,can you please go back to your stash of 1990s celebrities. I think that MC Hammer needs a listen to.” He hates when people call him Johno.

“You can listen and admire culture all you want,but one day you will die unfulfilled because you wasted your life with it.” Carl’s head sank low onto his body.

“Listen,Carl,just lighten up,will ya?” I tried to get Carl to pick his head up.

“No,anarchy is the only way to be fulfilled.” Carl ran into his room. I thought it was getting late and I went to bed too.

The next day I woke up and was out the door in a jiffy. I arrived at class just in time to hear the precautions for the Time Machine.

“Now remember,stay on the blue path. It makes sure you can’t disturb anything and nothing can disturb you. And remember,don’t kill anything. It could alter the present and cause drastic changes.” I readied my suit and was getting with my group of Helen and Carl.

The doors to the Machine opened and we walked through. There was a flash of pure white,and then we saw it.The trees towered over the skyline,the giant reptilian dinosaurs ran through,and it was literally a blast to the past.

Now,I am a very playful individual,and I do like to mess around with things. So,me being me,I tried to pretend to disturb something. and I stretched my foot over the edge of the blue path.

“Hey look Carl,I’m going to make sure Communism becomes the only economic system.” Carl faced me with a stern look. Helen just kept silent. “Hey Helen,look at me,I’m about to make sure that we get enslaved by hot reptile people.” She cracked a smile and let out a chuckle.

I started to put more than my foot over the edge. Soon an arm,and then two arms,then I lent over,then suddenly,I fell into the Jungle. I picked my head up and started to find the path. It was high up in the trees. Luckily,there was a downed branch near the pathway. I started running toward it,and I hear something squeal. I accidentally stepped on a mouse.

It’s a stupid mouse.I thought,What harm could it do? I got back to the path and was helped up by Carl and Helen.

“You stupid idiot. We could get expelled because of you.” Carl was worried. Helen seemed to sink more into the background.

The Time Machine made a whistle sound,meaning that it was about to go back. We rushed to the Machine as fast we could.

I am so getting expelled for this. I thought. I really was,because I knew that when I walk through that machine,my teacher would send me to the principal and I would be expelled. I would be expelled over a mouse!

The White in our eyes came back,but something felt different. I realized that when the whiteness cleared. It was nighttime,which was odd because on our watches it said 3:50. Then I looked at the period and saw it was AM.

Shoot. I thought. We spent so much time in their that it’s nighttime. I then looked around and to my suprise,the school wasn’t there.

“Did we travel to the wrong time when we got out of there?” Helen and Carl both shook their heads.

“I don’t know where the hell we just arrived,but it’s given me the creeps.” Carl looked frightened.

“Really,Mr. Anarchy is the only way humans can be fulfilled.”

“Screw you,James. If it wasn’t for you,we’d be home right now!” I started to pound the shit out of Carl.

“Guys,stop fighting. Please stop.” Helen seemed to have tears in her eyes.

“So you can talk.” Helen looked away so soon as I said that.

“Ahahahahahaha.” We all heard the creepy laughter. We looked up and we saw dozens of pillars. There was a vampire woman on one of the pillars in a relieving outfit looking down at us. “Oh don’t stop now,I was just starting to enjoy it. Besides,the fun is only about to start.” She raised her hands up and chanted something. Zombies came up from the ground with filming cameras. The Vampire lady stood in front of the Camera that was in front of us.

“Welcome,ladies and gentleman,to the spectacular program tonight. I’m your world famous host Aliza,and welcome to Non-monster Extravaganza. Tonight,we have three lucky contestants to be on this show on this lovely afternoon.” The zombie crewmen put collars on each of us. “If you haven’t seen an episode of our show before,let me explain the rules. The contestants have to face on challenges that involve humiliation,going insane,and even self-mutilation. If one of them passes all three challenges,they are allowed to be in the overworld and not be subjected back to the underground. If a contestant refuses,they will be shocked by the collar until they decided to continue or die. If a contestant fails,they will get a one-way ticket to my personal dungeon where they will become my living slave for all eternity. Now that’s out of the way,let us begin.”

She stepped away from the camera and started the first challenge.

“Each Non-monster will have to now survive being naked in public for two whole days,and never putting anything on to reveal their bodies. The monsters in public have been advised to not kill the Non-monsters as they complete the challenge. This challenge will take place in the most populated monster city,New Gahi.” We were transported there in an instant. “The challenge starts now!” Our clothes are gone and Monsters were everywhere. They all looked like hot people,like hot werewolves,hot mermaids in the big pools of water around the city,and hot vampires,like Aliza.

The monsters had either started to look away,shield their child’s eyes,or had taken a liking to our bare bodies.

“If you want to talk to each other,that’s alright. It isn’t against the rules.” Aliza seemed to be watching over us.

“James,” Carl whispered to me, “What the actual fuck did you do to have us end up like this?”

“All I did was step on a mouse,that’s it.” I thought about it and it realized something is wrong. How could stepping on a mouse mess up humanity that bad? Then,I knew that the answer was watching over me like a bird over its prey.

“Excuse me,Aliza.” She looked in my direction. “Can you please tell me about the origins of the Monsters and Non-monsters? My parents never told me about it.”

She thought about it for some time and decided on an answer.

“Alright,since you have nothing better to do,i’ll tell you.” Zombie Camera men appeared everywhere with remote controls in their hands.

“It started a long time ago,we evolved from little mammals like mice and rats,and we became what we call humanity. Some of us though,became what we know as monsters. We could enslave,control,and live off the non-monsters. This happened because of a mutation that became commonplace because there wasn’t enough non-mutated genes to go about. A side effect,though,was that it made us not able to handle the sun,so we didn’t go out much. Today, our best scientists have blocked out the sun entirely through clouds.

“We tried to keep our distance from the Non-monsters as best we could,but they wanted everything. Our mutation made us more humble than the Non-monsters. They were a sub-race of us monsters,and they wanted all the land for themselves. We sealed them underground with a magic barrier that is impenetrable from their side. Even though they couldn’t get out,we could get in. We sometimes ask for humans for their blood,their bodies,or for my game show. You just happened to be lucky enough not to be one of the blood givers. And buddy,you should be glad that I even host this show. Otherwise,” Her pupils seemed to disappear into nothing. “You would be bowing at my feet for mercy.”

I stopped at that point. I sat down and began to rest. I waited the two days out while Helen just cried and Carl mumbled to himself.

“Congrats,Non-monsters,you completed the challenge! Now for the second,” Instead of our clothes,though,we had straight jackets. “Survive a week in solitary confinement.”

We were then transported to a cell with no windows or door. I looked around and heard Aliza’a voice.

“See you in a week,Non-monsters. Ta Ta.” I sat down in my cell and decided to fall asleep. I was tired of trying to not embarrass myself in front of those monsters. I fell asleep,woke up,and went back to bed. I kept doing this until I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I was pretty sure it was a rat of some kind. I went over to it and tried to look at it more. Then it started to become distorted and grow.

What the hell is happening? I thought to myself. The rat grew into a human. I looked at them and saw that it was Helen. Her hair was covering her face though.

“Helen,where did you learn to shapeshift?” I pulled back her hair and screamed as I saw that it was the face of a spider. I heard voices in my head,and they all were saying different things that didn’t make sense.

“Kill the spare!”

“The curtains are really on fire!”

“Let's go play with the knife!”

“Dad,I want to try to break the human!”

I’m going insane.I thought. I really was,and I hid under the bed. I tried to drown out the voices,but they couldn’t get out. The room started spinning,the walls began to melt,and I saw horrid things. These things I can not describe,they would make the sanest person go mad. They were with me until this nightmare is over.

This lasted until god knows when. It felt like ages until I heard Aliza’a voice.

“Congrats to all Non-monsters,you all made it.” The room started to slow down,the walls came back,and the voices stopped.

I was then teleported into a room with Carl and Helen. Helen was in a fetal position and on the floor crying,while Carl was holding on to the walls trying not to throw up.

Aliza walked into the room and made us look her way.

“Well done,Non-monsters. You made it past the second challenge. Most people don’t last that long.”

“Well most people would not want to even do that you sadistic Dracula’s daughter wannabe!” Carl was visibly shaking and was almost a deep shade of green.

“Oh don’t say that,at least I didn’t make you saw off your arms or legs like last season. Besides,I am a relative of this ‘Dracula’ you sepak of. He was my great-great-great-great-grandfather.” Carl looked scared along with looking like he was going to vomit his insides out.

“Now,the last challenge is going to be personal,literally. We will scan your brain for your greatest fears,and we are going to manifest them in every possible way. The only way to beat the challenge is to conquer your fear.” Three different chairs with helmets attached to the tops came out of the darkness. Aliza swinged her arm in the direction of the chairs and we flew into them. The helmets seemed to instantly attach to our heads. Metal rings popped up and held us in place.

“Now get ready,” Aliza swiftly raised a button of some sort. “To be Scanned!”

The chairs made a whirring sound and a light started emitting from the helmets. Then,there was a sharp pain that went through my entire body. This lasted for about five minutes until the chair deactivated. We got up from our chairs and fell to the ground.

“Wonderful,absolutely wonderful.” Aliza was now facing the camera. “Let us begin the challenges.” She snapped her fingers and I was transported to a room with nothing. It was so dark I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. I don’t know how,but I heard Aliza’s voice coming from somewhere.

“James,your challenge,” Aliza appeared right in front of me.

Jesus,she’s hot. I kept thinking to myself.

Aliza’s eyes went from normal to almost reptilian in an instant. Her teeth went to fangs,her skin became pale as a ghost,and her tongue slithered out of her mouth. Veins seemed to pop out of her body.

“Is to survive me!”

I heard her laughter and she teleported right in front of me. I ran away to the right,and saw a door. I opened the door to see dungeons crawling with spiders.

Fuck, I thought as I ran through what seemed to be endless hallway. That stupid thing was accurate.

I came to a three-way crossroads.

I can lose her here. I was certain she couldn’t go all directions at once.

“Where are you going,darling?” Aliza seemed to be following me. “Don’t you want to succumb to a fabulous movie star like me?”

I sprinted to the right,hoping she didn’t know where I was going. The walls started to have more spiders on them,until they were crawling everywhere. Webs started to become larger,until I was completely caught in the web. I heard giant footsteps,and I saw a giant hairy spider leg come out of the darkness.

Crap, I thought. I really need to get out of here. I started to run to the other side until I heard Aliza coming toward me.

“Come here,mommy is thirsty.” I went over my opinions and decided that I would rather run toward the giant spider then have my blood be sucked out by a hot vampire. I grabbed pieces of the web and was ripping it off of me. The giant spider was horrific when it came into view. I just managed to move again when I first saw it. The hairy body and disgusting face unnerved me to the point where I just ran under it without looking up. I ran until I came at another crossroads,but these only went left and straight. I looked around until a recognized something from the other crossroads.

These are the same ones,but because I stopped the spiders,the path is gone. The thought had been creeping up on me when I first went down the hallway,but I didn’t think it would actually happen.

I went left because I would just keep running when I finished this challenge. I went in here,and I saw what I thought to be something of my nightmares.

There was an unsteady bridge that was being held up by wooden poles that could be called sticks,and on the bottom were snakes that looked like they wanted to make me their dinner.

I put my foot down on the steps,and the planks started to crack.

End of Part 1

submitted by /u/ShotLiterature [link] [comments] via Blogger http://bit.ly/2H90CPt

#Blogger #Story

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helenarlett-rex · 5 years

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When your D&D party won’t face reality and admit they are the bad guys, and nothing you try will convince them otherwise, so you just really want to kill them, but they are so high leveled that nothing you toss at them works... Kill them with rats.

I’ve had an ongoing struggle with the party I DM for. They have made themselves into the worst villains my little D&D world has ever seen. Nothing I can come up with can compare to the horrors they have inflicted on the land. But they are still convinced that they are the good guys. To the point of declaring that the God Odin must have turned evil if he is sending Valkyrie to stop them...

I’ve tried convincing them that they are the bad guys. But they are so thick they just won’t face reality. I had Loki show up and congratulate them on all of their work and invite them to a party all the evil gods were holding in their honor. Even had Tiamat thank them for freeing her from her prison when they destroyed the entire 2nd circle of hell just to kill one person... And they still sit there and say, “Oh yeah that was awesome! But I still don’t know what you are talking about. I’m a good guy. That was a good thing...”

With trying to show them the error of their ways being about as successful as convincing a brick wall it’s actually soft, I’ve moved on to the second tactic. Just kill them all... Sadly they’ve become so powerful that’s not working either... When you have a monster powerful enough to TPK any normal group, and you toss 8 of them at the party and the party walks away without a scratch, what do you do?

Kill them with rats.

Think about it. Rats are one of the weakest monsters in the game. Even a lone goblin looks like a threat compared to a rat. Do you think a group that powerful and that cocky are going to take rats seriously? No. No they aren’t. And that’s where you get them.

Because there are so many different kinds of rats you can use. Especially if you expand your monster list to supplement books. You have normal rat swarms, cranium rats, doppelrats, moon rats, wererats... There’s even a fey king known as The Mouse King. With tools like this at your disposal you can wreck even the strongest party by catching them off guard and utilizing these simple creatures properly.

Step 1, the rodents need a plan. No problem. Moon rats are devious planners who grow smarter with the phases of the moon and like the play the long game, slowly and carefully plotting out intricate plans. But what dastardly plan would they come up with? How about nothing less than becoming the dominant race on the planet and subjugating all other races to their will? But how would they do that? Well there are a number of ways to do it.

Step 2, create a sleeper agent. What’s that you say? The kingdom is in turmoil? People aren’t happy with the new king and his choice to marry a succubus? Certain powerful groups are likely planning the assassination of both the king and queen? (Like the players) And the favorite to take the throne is the king’s estranged daughter, who isn’t on good terms with her father but is well liked by the people, to say nothing of easily manipulated. She would be the perfect puppet ruler for a group of adventurers plotting to assassinate the current rulers and then put someone they would have influence over on the throne. And if she happened to be turned into a wererat, the perfect puppet ruler for the rodent uprising... So naturally the moon rats would think to have her changed into a wererat before the players ever found her and used her in their plan. She wouldn’t be loyal to the moon rats at that time, but she could be of use later on.

Step 3, create a diversion. We can’t have anyone suspecting what is actually going on, now can we. So how do you keep them from figuring it out? By making them focus on something else. Such as... Oh I don’t know... How about a cult of mice plotting to use one of the party members as a vessel to create a new avatar for demon prince, Pazuzu? If this cult of mice were to say, offer Pazuzu a new avatar in the material plane in exchange for power, and make multiple attempts to capture the party’s kenku and preform a ritual on her that would allow Pazuzu to possess her and make her his new avatar, I’m sure that would keep the party distracted, wouldn’t it?

Step 4, making the fey work for you. So you’ve got a plan now and a distraction to keep the party looking in the wrong direction. But you aren’t done yet. You need to really sell this. What if your mouse cult were to contact a powerful fey who ruled over them, The Mouse King, and present him with their plan to gain power and make mice and rats the rulers of the land? And what if they offered him the honor of being the one to conduct the ritual that would give his followers this power? Well now you’ve got a powerful fey who can do a lot of the dirty work for you. Like tricking said kenku (during a night of heavy carousing) into accepting a gift from that fey king, which now gives him every right to use her in the ritual in return.

Step 5, watching the shit hit the fan. So now the party’s kenku has been kidnapped by not only your little cult of mice, but also The Mouse King himself. They have her tied up and are preforming the ritual to turn her into an avatar of Pazuzu. Naturally the party is going to come and try to save her. But the Mouse King has every right to do what he is doing according to fey law. So he’s not going to let them ruin everything without a fight. And this is where you catch your party off guard buy using those rats in ways they weren’t expecting. Because they are thinking, an old farm house full of rats? This is a walk in the park. Too bad they didn’t realize that some of those rats were Doppelrats operating under The Mouse King’s influence, and the others were Cranium Rats hired by the Moon Rats after their Mind Flayer master was killed. And too bad the party didn’t think that a rat infested, abandoned farm house could serve as a lair for The Mouse King...

What the party thought was a cake walk turns into a real problem as the Doppelrats keep multiplying faster than the party can kill them. The farm house serving as a lair grants The Mouse King lair actions on top of his normal attacks and legendary actions. And working as a swarm, the Cranium Rats are able to continue conducting the ritual in The Mouse King’s place once he is distracted with the party.

The end result? The party manages to free their kenku, but not before the majority of the ritual was conducted, giving Pazuzu a foothold into the character’s mind, if not total possession. Two members of the party are polymorphed into mice and killed. They manage to pass their death saving throws but are still stuck as mice. A third party member is infected with doppeling disease and will continue to suffer the debilitating effects until he can be cured. The party is forced to retreat from the fight and suffers a devastating blow to their morale at the realization that they couldn’t even beat a swarm of rats. And they have just pissed off a fey king for not only stopping something he had every right to do, but also almost killing him. Now giving him the right to unleash the full force of his fey wrath upon the party.

Just like the Moon Rats planned... After all, no one really wanted to summon up Pazuzu and have to deal with that.

Step 6, enjoy the aftermath. Now that the party has pissed off a fey king, he’s going to do everything in his power to make their lives miserable. Teleporting back to their stronghold on the back of that giant turtle titan they control will prove to be problematic once they drop into the middle of the ocean because they fey have turned their titan into a normal turtle with a teleport circle drawn on its shell. Constantly getting lost in the woods, having your clothes randomly catch on fire, and having to waste spell slots to fix things every time they wake up with a donkey’s rear end in the place of their face will get tiresome. They may not even have time to worry about that party member who now has a demon prince constantly whispering inside her head. And that new Queen they put on the throne...? What a shame that the fey they just ticked off has influence over all mice and rats. Looks like she’s on the side of the rodent uprising now. Hope the party enjoys being named enemies of the kingdom.

Step 7, reap your reward. Oh what do you know... That sleeper agent the Moon Rats allowed the party to put on the throne is now loyal to the rodent uprising... the movement the Moon Rats were behind... Which means, she works for them now. Now those Moon Rats and the rest of their brethren are being declared the rulers of the kingdom, by royal decree. What a world the party has just created. One where mice and rats are the dominant race and everyone else is expected to serve them. It’s almost like they shouldn’t have killed the old king and queen or something, isn’t it?

#D&D

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