#so they're alone in their mind AGAIN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nexus-nebulae · 5 months

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neither of us have introduced ourselves here like At All i don't think but. jumping on here for a second to say. this is the first time in i think actually 6 months since we formed that we've actually seen Maxwell genuinely smile

#- will #we've Been Here just staying in the background for personal reasons 👍#anyway healing power of friendship and whatnot #maxwell felt alone bc they were pretty much The Only brainmade active whatsoever for a good couple months #and was thus much more affected by irl trauma bc there weren't any exomems to like. block that out with #and like. bc of weird headspace lore they also felt kinda guilty for existing in the first place #so. the stuff we do to our bodies in headspace. injuries and things. that tends to be permanent?#if we get injured in paracosm we stay injured in headspace #and percy is like. basically a fragment of a gods soul embedded in a human body #but the 'percy' part of the equation. was entirely the SOUL and not the body #so when at one point their soul became fully separated from their body #maxwell appeared. basically the human that was In The Background of their mind the entire time.#bc percy and also maxwell by extension were plural in source before getting introjected #but then in their canon their magic somehow forced all those previous headmates into their own bodies essentially dissolving the system #so they were freaked out alone in their own mind (they assumed)#but then the echoes started finding each other and combining into their own system-like structure so they weren't alone anymore #but then maxwell gets ejected from that system by having the echo part of its soul torn out #so they're alone in their mind AGAIN #but now they're like. forming their own little subsystem here. and it's making them feel better. less alone #there's maxwell and me (william) and we're brothers and then there's wasp (my weird cousin) and roobles (the bug that walked in)#and then julianna the mermaid and terria the little girl that hates everyone and then trick the weird fuckin imp goblin thing

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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here have a Lights Out meme(?) before i go to bed <3 Wally is showing off a neat party trick to his newfriend <3

og:

#this has been in my mind for several days and im finally tired enough to execute it #this is... technically noncanon to the au i suppose...#wally Wouldn't touch fire again he learned his lesson #but also. at this point in the 'story' (said nebulously) Does He Really Care #wally: hey frank check this shit out *lights himself on fire*#frank - softly but with feeling: what the fuck...#home: *tired creak*#wallys had his Nothing In Life Matters (depressed) phase #now its time for Nothing In Life Matters (manic) phase #wh lights out au #scribble salad #theyre having so much fun i prommy (lying)#i really need to portray more of the au than just the Frank And Wally Alone In The Studio portion #even if it is the most fun. To Me.#they're entertaining... i feel like im playing with dolls...

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covertblizzard · 6 months

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jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"

#jason todd #kyle rayner #jaykyle #mypost #dc thoughts #vp of the club: maybe we should find some other people to do the job if they can't get along?#pres of the club: no they're both talented af and i want this to be raving success just knock their heads tgt and tell them to play nice or #i'll make them wear the get along shirt again #WAIT ONE SEC DONNA'S THE PRES and overseer she's pissed bcos kyle played the same role last year and he was chill then #wally's vp no 1 and backstage manager and he's thinking of kicking kyle out #dick's vp no 2 and main lead and he's thinking of kicking jason out bcos it's embarrassing and annoying to work with your younger siblings #kon helps kyle with props and bart is one of the actors and kon is jealous af about it he grumbles a little #roy is the fight scene choreographer #i'm trying to think of something for garth but the only thing that comes to mind i'm not sure are fitting enough #actor manager? weapon manager? oooh maybe pet manager if they have animals... human and pet manager???? hr department but including animals #ooooh maybe pet manager if they have animals #raven can play bart's love interest (in play) maybe (wally doesn't like it and neither does gar for very different reasons)#eddie deals with the contraptions they build for this bubble machines smoke machines lowering and raising anything mechanical #rose and cass helps with the weapons stuff they keep fighting too and roy is TIRED #connor plays the villain he didn't mean to or want to but he got dragged into it and he's really hot and gunned in for next years main lead #he doesnt want this #steph and mia are hair makeup costume department but bart and kon love to hangout and help too #jennie-lynn and bart are in-charge of socials #tim pops up a lot because so many of his friends (and brothers) are here and when he does he helps steph and mia #damian too pops up to help with pet management and sometimes prop art #this is much to dicks annoyance jason is already here can his little brothers LEAVE HIM ALONE SOMETIMES UGH #damian (taking cues from talia and bruce loverenemies dynamic and wanting an artist in-law): we should set jason and kyle up #dick: no / tim: hmm / dick: NO #i want to add the yj girls (cassie cissie greta anita) but i know too little about them right now but imagine they're there and the roles #are to be determined

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armandposting · 1 month

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need a fic post qotd but pre devils minion breakup where poor armand just gets to take a nap after all the Akasha shit and maybe get held a little

#I don't know how anne does it but even tho we're seeing him from Daniel's pov while they're going to the concert #and daniel is off his fucking rocker on new vampirism #armands fear is SO palpable #like he just almost lost his lover then turned him for the first time ever #and now any minute akasha could just explode him with her mind and there would be nothing armand could do #and then he'd be alone again!#and even tho daniel is there he's already so alone in that part because Daniel's attention is elsewhere #and he does not understand the gravity of the situation #which is ALL armand is thinking about #and then he might also lose lestat and louis #AND he has to see marius again for the FIRST TIME IN 400 YEARS #someone please give that man a break

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skunkes · 4 months

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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

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sysig · 10 months

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Let me chew you out a little, since we have a couple minutes (Patreon)

[Panel 1] Prismo: *mumble* *mumble*

[Panel 2] Prismo: *mumble*

[Panel 3] Simon: Hmph. “Just because it’s in your head-”

[Panel 4] Simon: “-Doesn’t mean it’s yours,” huh?

[Panel 5] Simon: Give me all the responsibility with none of the privileges?

[Panel 6] Simon: And then you get mad at me for trying to pick up your slack? Prismo: Hey...

[Panel 7] Simon: Clearly you already expect that much from me!

[Panel 8] Prismo: Hey, hey! I did the best with what I had! I didn’t expect any of this!

[Panel 9] Simon: And yet you didn’t even consider telling me, so we could’ve avoided this?

[Panel 10] Prismo: It’s not like I could’ve just- taken it out! I was locked out!

[Panel 11] Simon: You could’ve done something!

[Panel 12] Simon: Instead you let my life spiral around this thing, kept me tethered to Ice King’s Madness-

[Panel 13] Prismo: Fionna and Cake are real thou- Simon: NOW you tell me! After I find out for myself!

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Simon Petrikov #Prismo #They have like two minutes where they're alone together that aren't directly shown onscreen: Allow me to insert some ideas lol #As long as Simon isn't so faded that he can't work the nerve up I Absolutely think he'd get mad at Prismo for all this #Not like he didn't just come back from a terrible experience trying to work around his terrible dregs! He's very miserable!#Honestly I think the anger would be good for him lol #He's had to live like this for years! Under Ice King's shadow for something that wasn't his doing!#And he knows Prismo - he met him - they talked - but not about this #And I mean I honestly don't blame Prismo - with everything going on and his own depression spiral he had a few things on his mind #It's in a bad way for everyone #That said he is a Wish Master he really could've told Simon at any point even if he couldn't take his little pet project out of him lol #Then again again what Was he supposed to do lol #As much as I would trust Simon to keep a secret I don't think either of them could've expected Simon trying to summon Golb to do this #Obviously it /did/ happen that way but could either of them have guessed?? I don't think so #''Don't go summoning your ex-'' ''She's not my ex >:('' '''Cause there's an illicit universe in your head and you might summon that instead'#Like what no I don't think Prismo could've just - guessed that! Lol #He did leave Simon out to dry vis a vis Ice King and Fionna and Cake tho which was Not cool and he Could've done something about that #Although I can also see Simon snapping and telling someone that it wasn't his own stories - there's no winning!#But that's what makes the argument fun haha #Man they're both fun to draw ♪ Simon in that dress and Prismo's tiiiiired tired eyes haha ♫#It was shortlived but they have a fun dynamic :D Simon speaks so deadpan and sarcastic with Prismo haha <3 It's quite cute honestly

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kyouka-supremacy · 1 year

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Thinking about pre getting together sskk where Atsushi can sense Akutagawa is significantly more relaxed and affable with him when they're alone yet cold and mean every time there's other people around and he's deeply hurt by the change and them fighting over it and them telling each other “So you're mad I'm kind at you? What do you want Jinko” “I want you to hate me when we're alone too” because. yeah

#I don't have fanfictions in my mind I just have random line prompts that hit illegally hard #One could argue that Atsushi should be flattered Aktgw feels like he can drop the mean facade only when he's alone with him but actually?#I think that's exactly how Atsushi would react because Akutagawa being like that would trigger his terror of being–#inadequate / unworthy / not good enough etc etc #Let 👏👏 Atsushi 👏👏 be 👏👏 the 👏👏 immature 👏👏 one 👏👏 for once #But it's also specifically fitting for Akutagawa because for Akutagawa apparence really IS everything.#Especially where he was raised to think it didn't really matter how strong he was but whether Dazai recognized him or not =#how Dazai perceived him = how he appeared in front of Dazai = how he appears in front of everyone else for extension #They're so deeply fucked up...#atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #Also au where I don't have to get a diploma where I would write thousands of sskk fics #Also I just feel like it'd hurt Atsushi so much because he'd feel deluded and betrayed‚ in the way #“once again it turns out that no one really loves me- at least not as sincerely as to show it in front of others” :(#3am trying really hard to study Hans Kelsen but I keep thinking about Them #Please may the next exam go well 😭😭 I actually care a lot for this subject #q.#10/09/22

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sskk-manifesto · 2 months

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Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´；ω；｀)

#I'm late...#I'm sorry I wasn't able to watch the episode by time last week but again. Food poisoning. And then the new chapter came out #I feel like I had much more to say when I started watching it last week...#Mmmmhh. I really like when bsd animation uses the colored lineart effect for flashbacks / subspaces (Anne's Room‚ Poe's books).#I think it's one of the prettiest and most original things of the bsd animation.#I've always felt like the Natsume reveal was a bit coming out of nowhere lol.#Here's this legendary ability user everyone knows but no one has ever seen with this immensely unthinkable powerful ability...#That the reader literally wasn't ever made aware of in the previous 49 chapters lol #After all that build up‚ his ability even feels a little underwhelming.#Which I suppose was the intended result‚ but I'm not sure it really works all that well in the end.#Then Naomi's words “Come to think of it‚ the things that happen when Mii-chan vanishes [...]‚ disasters are stopped every time”#really feel soooo out of place when so-called Mii-chan was never before mentioned up to this episode (╥﹏╥)#But I'll stop complaining. It's nothing big really #Fukuzawa and Mori's relationship is very homoerotic. Tbh #I looooove the ss/kk I don't even have much to say just watching scenes of them interacting together fills my heart of a warm feeling :')#The animation quality is very poor and the drawings are very undetailed but really I love ss/kk too much to care.#A lot of emphasis is put by the fandom on Atsushi's cruel remark towards Akutagawa in this ch/ep and it *is* cruel but really...#Akutagawa had literally just attacked Atsushi in a death-threatening way‚ futilely and completely unprompted #I can't find it in myself to blame Atsushi if he was irritated and lashed out at him.#And all their other moments are just so cute. What do you mean Akutagawa is deeply interested in understanding Atsushi's motivations.#What do you mean Atsushi can't get Akutagawa out of his mind!!!! They're so cute #So many more cute moments were cut out too rip lawnmower line you'll always be missed rip date line you'll always be missed #I feel like Pushkin's character is another instance of‚‚‚ Wow me and the author's morals really don't align at all #I really don't like the narrative of “weaker people will constantly try to harm and take advantage of strongest ones”#random rambles #Fun fact when I watched this episode for the first time I asked my mother to join me. Because I know a ss/kk scene was coming and I really–#didn't want to watch it alone. Well as it turned out the whole first half of the episode was dedicated to old man fighting–#and she gave up after that 😂😂 But I'm still grateful to her for trying.

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pepplemint · 1 year

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I said Knives never tortured anyone in Trimax but I lied he did turn Legato into a pretzel

#trigun #millions knives #honestly it's almost unfair how little Knives fears Legato when he is ultimately the one person that could probably have killed him #or maybe he does maybe that's why #almost ironic how Knives is betrayed by every single person he knows EXCEPT Legato and Elendira #Humanity in general; Rem choose humans; Vash shoots him in the back; Conrad plotted against him #pretty sure he doesn't really know most of the gung hoes and they're more Legato's gang but Wolfwood tries to shoot and then betrays him #Midvalley tries to kill Legato and get away. Livio/Razzlo switches sides. Zazie tries to put a disgusting mind control worm inside him.#All plants on the planet drops him and leaves him powerless and burning to death #In the end he is completely alone and not until then does he admit it. That he had been alone all along and he only has himself to blame #Because he's the one that walked away. Who turned down Vash's offer of running from it all. Who turned everyone against him.#Because he became obsessed with making sure no one could ever hurt him again and refused to let anyone close but it kept happening #because you can't be hurt if you already expect the worst right #and then Vash is there and Vash- Vash chooses NOT to do the thing he expects - he doesn't close the last bleeding wound in his chest that #Knives couldn't - wouldn't - get rid off. It would have been the last nail in the coffin that were Knives stubborn hope that he wasnt alone #and then Vash throws away the hammer and rips open the lid of the coffin and protects him instead - after Knives had betrayed HIM #and Vash should leave him; should kill him; should confirm that Knives is beyond hope so he can die feeling validated in his pain #but he doesn't. he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't #because Vash doesn't believe anyone is beyond repair; least of all people ruled by fear #and Legato tried. he tried so hard to be that person for Knives.#aaah. just me being normal about mr millions again.

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disdaidal · 12 days

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I feel like a massive idiot right now.

I double-checked my CV several times before sending emails to a few places (libraries nearby me). And only then did I realize that I hadn't customized my email application itself to be directed at a specific place, but I had basically copied the same application to almost all of them (application to the library in my area). 🙈 So then I had to send another email to each one and apologize and politely explain that I had 'accidentally copied' the name of my home area twice in that application, and that I'm 'specifically looking for this place-' yadda yadda.

I wanna crawl under the rock right now and never crawl back out.

#personal #i made that classic mistake that you should never make in this kind of situation #sighs #if i get rejected for this reason alone i wouldn't even blame them #i've still got some other places left to try for which i'm going to have to customize my cv and application again and well #my mind's been all over the place lately. i haven't been able to focus on anything #even the fun stuff #and i'm going to have a distance meeting with my counselor tomorrow and he told me last friday that he wants me to have sent these #applications by then. 'or else you're gonna have to lie and feel bad about it' lmao #i did tell him i already feel bad though. i've felt so unmotivated and useless lately i can't even begin to tell #it's just. i can't focus. it's terrible #this should be good for me and they're there to help me blah blah blah but i feel like i'm hopeless #that i cannot be helped. that i'm doomed to fail regardless #and i can't help it. it's weighing me down

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revvnant · 1 month

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we suffer and we suffer. who wants to play with a charlie in the box.

#oh boy six a.m.! ( ooc )#|| WAS LISTENING TO THE LOVELY BONES AGAIN IT'S SO CHARLIE CODED.#|| SOME FUCKING MAN ROBBED HER OF EVERYTHING.#abuse cw #|| MMY BOOBOOKEYS I LOVE CHARLIE.#|| TO ME CASSIDY IS BURIED IN THE WOODS. JUST A FUN FACT ABT MY MIND PALACE.#|| THEY TOOK OUR GIRLS AWAY FROM HOME THEY'RE IN THE WOODS THEY'RE ALL ALONE.

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balconyswirls · 4 months

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#i don't like when a character feels like they're supposed to be relatable but i can't relate to them #like there was this normal setting of a 16 y/o girl going to school and she's the only main character other than her dad who is almost 50 #so obviously she's going to be a fleshed out character #and she's in history class and her teacher's divorced #and the moment her teacher shows a hint of sadness the narrator is like 'she imagined mrs. sonso touching herself alone at night etc.'#and the description continues for like four lines #i read this book at 15 and again recently like 😭😭 i've personally never thought things like that about teachers it just feels invasive #or anyone else for the matter #and i don't like how the author's trying to be like 'look this is the mind of a 16 year old girl' and to a predominantly adult audience #it sucks that i'm thinking so much about it because it's literally a minor part of the book there are so many other more meaningful topics #i don't know what most people around my age think i'm completely in the dark apart from the things i read online and in books like these #i can't help but feel a little alone bc i know it's normal to let your mind wander i just don't think much about this sort of stuff at all #and i don't know if it's because i'm still young and i'll grow out of it one day but i've been waiting to grow out of it for a long time #idk i think it's not normal whenever i read intimate scenes by a certain point you'd think at very least i'd be desensitised #and i've tried but it's like every time i read it has an adverse effect on my mind #anyways...

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jakeperalta · 1 year

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totally forgot that I agreed to plans tomorrow night and now I so deeply don't want to go

#i only agreed to it last friday but at the time it felt like ages away #so it was entirely out of my mind until i got a message today about train times #i agreed to go because my sibling asked and i know they're having a bad time at the moment #but when it means after work having to go straight out and travel into the city #and even worse travel back again alone #it feels like such a mountain of a day when i'd rather be in bed 😭😭#talking

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my-thoughts-and-junk · 4 months

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thinking about dream daddy again and god brian makes me so mad

#random thoughts #dream daddy #HIS ROUTE ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM #okay so the thing about the fleshed-out routes is you can tell a lot about a character depending on how many people are around #like with craig his first two dates involve at least one of his kids and a lot of social interaction because he's so overworked #so his final date where you just spend time with HIM one-on-one hits a lot harder #while with joseph he surrounds you with people but takes little periods of time to be alone with you to make a move #before instantly surrounding you with people again so you don't have enough time to question if he just made a pass at you #which is why his final date with you on the boat hits so hard: he purposefully isolated you in a place you could not easily leave #so he could make his move #and with brian... all his dates involve daisy in some way #which would imply he's trying to maintain some sort of distance? but he's not. he actively wants to befriend you #daisy and amanda keep tagging along... and for what?#they're eventually sidelined anyway! each date involves a moment where daisy and amanda are gone and you get a moment alone with brian #brian is the dad whose kid is the most present in his route and it says. literally nothing about him #make it so your character keeps inviting brian out and brian keeps making it a 'bring your kid and make it a playdate' thing or SOMETHING #maybe he's been raising daisy by himself for so long he's a bit rusty on how to interact with someone he's interested in?#on the second date daisy and amanda could have stayed home. it would change nothing #have daisy be sick and amanda be otherwise involved (maybe imply they're both faking to get out of fishing/get brian and mc to smooch)#like i don't think i'd mind daisy being around so much if she wasn't such a nothing burger of a character #give her some flaws! have amanda think she's weird or creepy! show us why she has no friends!#why is brian's route centered around our mc's daddy issues. we don't know his dad. we don't give a shit about his dad.#brian's route's main conflict ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM??? WHAT THE FUCK #you're essentially forcing us to make a character choice based on a backstory you also forced on us. you fallout 4'd us.#like okay. there's a lot of 'here's a part of your backstory you didn't know about' in dream daddy but this specifically doesn't work #like the ska band? it's a jokey plot device that's kind of weak but also a bit whatever #alex? is an explanation for why you're a single parent. very sad. not very fleshed out.#mc's dad? IS THE FOCUS OF AN ENTIRE ROUTE?????? WHAT THE FUCJ #literally no reason to do that. it makes brian a flatter character whose whole purpose is to react to your daddy issues #GIVE HIM FLAWS. MAKE HIM THE ONE WHO TAKES THE COMPETITION TOO SERIOUSLY

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spamtoon · 4 months

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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

#bright spark #<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky #the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE #SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you #to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this #is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay #nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are #honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang #spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main #cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her #own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally #i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel #like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything #with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite #finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives #happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared #to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that #respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a #method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy #excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going #sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay

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love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward · 1 year

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we HAVE to see crowley and aziraphales joint miracle power shatter everything and everyone. I HAVE TO SEE IT. THE POWER OF LOVE ETC. GOD.

#i think i love crowley now #like i didnt fully understand their relationship in season 1 but i do now. and i kinda think im a crowley person #shes so gender #god i loved that kiss it's such a display of emotion #i dunno how theyre gonna play out the feelings in the next season. it probably wont be another kiss. maybe theyll hold hands real hard #but. i really wanna see emotional displays in angels and demons and THEM #i wanna see feelings in their EYES. like we did in the last episode. i want it to leave me speechless #crowley was so vulnerable and aziraphale there and i was kinda uncomfortable watching such an intimate scene #but i couldn't tear my eyes away if i tried #i saw it with my homophobic brother so that took some of my attention from it so i need to watch it alone again #i want to see them love each other so deeply #and so cosmically #i want their love to make the idiots from heaven and hell realise how pointless and insignificant their pettiness is #because it kinda annoyed me in season 2 #no one wants to hear about your arresting of an archangel theres important things going on here #like maggie and nina and crowley and aziraphale #hhhhhh they're making me lose my fucking mind #speaking of which i wanna see crowley lose his fucking mind #i hope he doesnt completely abandon the bookshop. it could be symbolic.#the bookshop was something they created. its a pretty recurring symbol #mannnnn.#what would it be like for aziraphale to see crowley still looking after the bookshop. tending to their love like a houseplant.#god crowley.#the scene makes me wanna throw up.#the way he looks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i cant express it through the screen but there is anguish and disbelief and desperation and protest in my voice!!!!!#them!!!!!!#and her!!!!!!!!! literally look at crowley.#they're experiencing shrimp emotions #good omens

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