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#so this means i am going to need to pee about 8 times tonight
littleraeofsunshineda · 7 months
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the state of the NHS after fourteen years of Tories is a terrifying and miserable capitalist hellscape
case in point, me, the last week or so:
have uti, picked up from a partner's infection. Very simple easy thing to treat. This one is a nasty little bugger, I feel like shit.
call gp. Ask for appointment.
No appointments.
At length told a pharmacy can prescribe 3 days of antibiotics without you seeing gp. Excellent!
Receive antibiotics. At this point we are ~3-4 days in. That's also how long it's been since I had a proper night's sleep because I HAVE TO GET UP TO PEE FOUR TIMES.
Antibiotics produce great improvement, but (surprise) perhaps not 100% by the time I finish the course. Nevrthless, am told by pharmacy I can't get any more from them. I must go to gp.
Call gp. Come down at 8am physically to surgery next day.
Arrive at 7.47. 12th in the queue. Total queue reaches >20 by 8am. For a cool parallel, they run out of appointments at person 8. The poor receptionist looks like if she has to tell one more person there's nothing she can do, she'll cry.
Receptionist tells me I can try again tmm (arrive at 7.30? I wonder thoughtfully) or try submitting a request through The App. Someone will call me today. I thank her and submit it in the car before I leave.
3.55 (GPs generally close at 4pm). No call. I squish down the fear that I am Karen-ing and call in. "I'm so sorry," I say, "do you know if I WILL be called today?"
She says I might get one up to 6pm, but that will only be a receptionist who will be booking an appointment in the next couple of weeks. "This can't wait two weeks," I say. "Your own guidance says so."
"There's nothing I can do," she says, and: "You shouldn't be using the online system for things that are urgent, anyway." "I tried to get an emergency appointment and there was nothing: I was TOLD to use this," I say, helplessly. "...Well anyway," she says, "the receptionist might call you by six."
AHA! I think. I am immensely lucky and have some small health insurance through work - including virtual gp. Maybe they can help! I book an appointment through that platform, relieved.
The appointment is over the phone within an hour - phenomenal. She tells me that she is not allowed to prescribe me anything: the uti not fully clearing up in 3 days of antibiotics means I need specialist urine testing as there is likely resistance. It needs to happen immediately, today, tonight, because I am at risk of a kidney infection. She can only refer me back to the NHS.
I say "but they don't have anything, and I can't argue - the poor receptionist can't do anything about not having appointments."
"You have to fight," she says. "You have to be seen. Go to urgent care if you have to."
It is now 6.05pm. The receptionist has not called.
Guess I'm spending the evening in a&e.
This is the struggle to get basic healthcare in the UK right now, and there is very often NO OPTION other than A&E. I HAVE some level of "private healthcare", and they could not do anything. Imagine what it's like for most people who don't even have the tiny level of access for a virtual GP to tell them that they ARE right, and they DO need to make a fuss.
I have been crying on and off all day. This is just not having healthcare. I wish I had any confidence at all that we'll change how we vote as a country.
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nathank77 · 6 months
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4/9/24
7:18 p.m
I passed out around maybe 8 a.m potentially earlier. On the half MG without anything else.
I probably woke up about 4-6 times but I kept my eyes closed and I heard weird hallucinations like screaming or laughing-thats how I know I am about to fall back to sleep........ it's all the same volume but I can still make out what I hear. A scream is still the same volume as a whisper.. but yea I kept my eyes closed despite needing to pee cause I knew I was done for bc of those extra hallucinations.... I don't hear those during the day.
I woke up at 4:45 p.m..... my HSV2 inhibitor test and gonorrhea/chlamydia urine test was today at 4:40 p.m..... I ran out the door... drove to Quest, it's close... thankfully I had an extra pair of glasses in my backpack... I didnt have time to grab my glasses out of my case on my desk before I ran to Quest bc I really wanted to get it done. So this is one of those time where the whole having spare pairs of glasses is really helpful.. they saved my ability to be able to see when I was driving.
Luckily Quest did the tests..... I hate circadian rhythm disorder... I didn't want to open my eyes, I usually wake up to my alarm and I didn't this time. Back before I had psychosis I didn't wake up to my alarms but since Xanax I've been waking up to them almost everyday... when I opened my eyes I truly thought it was like 3 p.m... bc my alarm was set to 3:30 p.m.
My hallucination really is, "happy birthday," "I've got a birthday present," "that's the depressing part," and hearing my own thoughts being repeated which is maddening. I'm starting to regret aligning with it bc it makes it hard to say listen to a song/tv while thinking something out like what I got to do to today, etc... even without other types of chatter..
Anyways I await the results. I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea. I know that hsv2 test was a false positive, yet I'm still worried..
I hit CVS, and then took a shower. I'm home now writing. I have an appt with apple later about my phone number bc it's associated with another account.
I was going to check out some Eyewear places near me but of course with my circadian rhythm disorder, and the time frames its impossible. Maybe I'll start with lens crafters on Saturday and then next week my schedule is less busy and maybe I can make it work.
I'm anxious about oversleeping tomorrow bc of my T-Shot... at 3:45 p.m... I'm so sick of being tied down to this appt every other week. It can't be later than that.... if I could do it myself or have my gf/family/ or anyone reliable do it, I would have significantly less obligations to fulfill every single month. I mean it's a fucking chore. This month alone in total its 3 appts..... it's actually really a huge source of stress. If I could do it myself or have someone else to do it, well I would have had 2 ultrasounds this month, 2 Quest appts, and one dentist appt...
Anyways, maybe I'll game later. Maybe I'll just stare at the TV mindlessly. I got to take a 1MG tonight/tomorrow at like 4:30 a.m so hopefully I can fall asleep earlier and get 7 hours and wake up before 3 p.m.....
I have that stupid dentist appt bc the doctor couldn't see me the day of the cleaning on Friday... I might just cancel and reschedule I need down time. All these optical centers near me close at like fucking 5-6......... it would be cool to be able to swing by a few. They are close together. Maybe I really will reschedule cause like if I go to the dentist, I expect to get my teeth cleaned and see the doctor that same day and only come back if they find a problem...
I still have my ultrasound next Wednesday at 4 p.m on my lower region. I'm worried about that... making the appt. Then them finding something... despite their being no reason for me to think they'll find something.
I just feel like between circadian rhythm disorder, sleep issues, the voice always screaming to get my attention. My constant auditory hallucination forcing me to drown it out and my ocd always being there forcing me to make rules, avoid things, my life is so stressful.
I got my refund back and I can afford glasses. How can I fit going to a few stores locally into my schedule when I'm always going to the doctors and oversleeping...
I have my disability appointment on the 16th at 1:30... idk if I'm just going to reschedule it, maybe I'll take 1 mg and try to make it so the damn thing gets off my fucking to do list and I get my fucking back pay. I'll feel like fucking shit...
Beyond that my arm still hurts from my fall. The x-ray came back clean. I waited until my doctors appt and had her send me in a MRI... it got denied so I sent in the appeal paperwork...
But yea I'm trying hard to stay on the ball, everything is counting against me.
I thought something, what if Elise brings up brendan if I ever run into her. Well if she excessively brings up their plans. I'll assume she's happily married and I will be happy for her but I'll have to cope with that potential of us being together not ever happening.
If she brings up he is with the girls I'll assume nothing. If she says they talked about divorce I'll just listen and say I'm sorry. My jaw might drop a little. That's what I'd do..
Although I don't expect her to show up Saturday. I hope she does.
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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Me: I need something crazy to happen to tire me out so I can fall asleep in time to wake up well-rested at 6AM
Spider in my bed: say no more :)
#i literally JUST showered and now i’m covered in sweat from waving a vacuum around and yelling. great!#i would’ve put it outside but it was huge and i didn’t want to touch it and also it was NOT cooperating#it was like ‘i am sleeping in this bed tonight’ and i was like ‘no the fuck you’re not. i need to be up at 6am’#let it be known that i will kill in cold blood any creature that tries to interfere with my sleep. including spiders which i actually like#most of the time anyway#and well. now i think i’ve given up on trying to sleep well. because i know i won’t#it is going to be 19 fucking degrees all night and i need to drink iced water to cool down#and also so i don’t wake up with a dehydration headache#so this means i am going to need to pee about 8 times tonight#and i brought my writing notebook to bed with me so i can go to sleep without screentime#(ignore the fact that this post is coming to you live from a screen)#so that’s pretty much going to mean i either end up staying up til 2am having amazing ideas#or writer’s block hits HARD and i read the odyssey instead#OMG did i mention i bought emily wilson’s translation!! i haven’t yet finished the introduction but i’m so excited about it#it’s such a gorgeous edition as well. i look at it and i’m like ‘yeah. this is how this ancient epic poem was supposed to be presented’#apparently she’s going to translate the iliad as well and i cannot wait#so that’s where i’m at right now. i also think i’ve pulled something in my knee. so uhhhh#i am going to have an absolutely miserable day tomorrow but it’s fine. they’re not even going to give me the job probably. but it’s FINE#i’m FINE#personal
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simplee-dreaming · 3 years
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The Great Escape
A/N: So this was requested by an anon and I had so much fun writing it, I think it's the longest fic I've ever written so I hope you enjoy! (Also, reading back over this, I realised I've mentioned Vision and Jarvis in the same story which I know isn't possible but I cba to change it because I love them both...even though they're technically the same...)
Word count: 2458
Summary: The reader tries to sneak out to a party, but Tony, Steve and Bucky are onto her.
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“Are you coming tonight or what?” Your friend asked at the other end of the phone.
“Yes, yes I am. I’m just thinking of ways to escape without being caught.” You replied.
“You’re not in a prison, just walk out of the front door,” they said.
“I wish it were that easy. Tony’s already said no to me going so he’s gonna be on high alert. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way,” You said.
“Okay, meet me outside the party at 9, no later. Good luck, agent Y/L/N” your friend teased.
“Shut up, I’ll see you later.” You hung up the phone. It was half 5 in the evening and it took about 45 minutes to get to the party by walking. You decided you were gonna attempt to leave at quarter to 8, so you would have time to escape without being seen and enjoy a gentle stroll to the party.
“Everyone normally eats dinner about 6, then they tend to go off and do their own thing. This should be a doddle, right?” You thought to yourself.
At 6, everyone sat round the table together to eat.
“So, what’s everyone doing after this?” You asked, trying to work out everyone’s movements.
“I’ll be working on my latest model,” said Tony, shovelling a load of pasta into his mouth.
“I’ll be in the gym, pumping iron,” said Bucky.
“Vis and I have got a date night booked,” said Wanda. Sam made gagging noises next to them.
“Are you gymming too, Steve?” asked Bucky before spilling pasta sauce on his leg.
“Nah I did my workout earlier. I may chill with a film. Fancy joining me, Y/N?” He asked.
Shit. That backfired.
“Oh, uh, thanks but I can’t. I said I’ll phone some friends tonight.” You said, thinking quickly.
“Surely that won’t take long though, would it?”
You paused. Tony looked at you suspiciously.
“You know Y/N, she won’t shut up once she gets talking to her friends.” Peter piped up. You relaxed.
“Yeah, exactly. I’ll be up there for hours.” You said.
“Aren’t they all going to this party you talked about?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Uh, no, not this lot. This is the nerd group I’m part of, they don’t party.” You said quickly. Tony grunted but said nothing more.
Once everyone finished eating, you raced back upstairs to find an outfit. Once you had gotten changed and done your hair and makeup, it was quarter past 7. Half an hour before you were due to leave. You were sat on your bed, scrolling through TikTok until half past 7.
“Sod this,” you thought. Waiting around for any longer would heighten your anxiety so you decided to put your plan into action now.
You left your room and decided to scan all exits of the building to see which one was the best option to use.
“Sir, I don’t mean to alarm you but Y/N seems to be acting pretty suspiciously,” Jarvis informed Tony. Tony was in his lab working on his latest project.
“What do you mean suspicious?” Tony asked.
“She’s wandering back and forth around the compound.” Jarvis replied.
“Maybe she’s just taking a walk.” Tony said.
“Sir, she’s wearing make-up.” Jarvis informed him. Tony stopped what he was doing.
“Makeup? She never wears makeup unless…” Tony stopped in his tracks.
“Jarvis, does Y/N appear to be scanning all the exits?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And does she look dressed up?”
“Yes, sir.”
“That little minx.” Tony said. “Jarvis, get Steve and Bucky up here please.”
“Of course, sir.”
A few minutes later, Bucky and Steve appeared in Tony’s lab.
“What’s up?” asked Steve.
“I’ve got a mission for you both. Y/N is trying to sneak out of the compound to get to this party of hers tonight. I’ve got eyes on her through Jarvis but I need your help to stop her leaving.”
“Tony, she’s just going to a party. What’s the big deal?” Bucky asked.
“The big deal is that she’s 16 and she’s going to a big party where there will be loads of people and most likely alcohol...or worse. Plus she’s already asked me if she can go and I’ve already said no so now she’s disobeying me.” Tony said.
“Oh. Right.” Bucky replied.
“Here are some ear pieces, I’ll stay here and tell you where she is and you go and stop her from leaving,”
“Roger that,” Steve said. “Mission: Trap Y/N is go.” He saluted Tony and left the room with Bucky. Tony sighed.
“Alright Tony, where she at?” Bucky asked quietly.
“Jarvis, I need eyes on Y/N.” Tony said.
“Sir, she is currently heading to the north exit.”
“North exit guys,” Tony spoke into their ear pieces.
“I’m closer, I got this.” Steve said. He quietly ran to the north corridor and saw you walking to the exit.
“Hey you, finished your phone call already?” He asked. You jumped and turned.
“Oh, uh, yeah, um, I was just going for a walk.” You said.
“Oh sweet, I’ll join you.” Steve said.
“Oh, um, well I just wanted some alone time,” you said, hinting at him.
“I’ll be quiet, I can do with some fresh air too.”
“Actually, on second thoughts, I really need to pee so um...yeah…” you said, jogging past him and back upstairs.
Shit. Back to square one.
You gave it a minute then decided to head to the east exit.
“Guys, she’s going east.” Tony informed the boys.
“On it,” Bucky responded.
He was closer to the door than you were so he decided to open it and lean against the threshold, as if he was just admiring the garden. You turned the corner to see him stood with his back to you. You froze in your tracks.
“Dammit,” you thought to yourself. You tiptoed backwards and headed for the south exit instead.
“Nice work guys, she’s going south now.” Said Tony.
“My turn,” said Steve. He, once again, appeared the same time you did.
“Oh did you pee? Fancy going for a walk now?” He said behind you. You rolled your eyes and turned around.
“Hey, um, yeah I did, but um I’ve changed my mind I don’t actually wanna walk anywhere now.”
“But you’re heading for the exit?”
“Uh, yeah, um...I...I got lost.” You said, shrugging.
“Lost? You’ve been here for 16 years…”
“Yeah, um, bit forgetful it seems,” you laughed nervously, “alright well back I go.”
You walked past him. Once you knew you were out of sight, you headed for the final exit to the west of the building.
“Alright guys…” Tony began.
“Going west, got it,” Bucky finished. He headed in your direction and deliberately walked straight into you.
“Whoa, watch where you’re going.” He teased.
“Sorry Buck,” you responded.
“Where exactly are you going?”
“Just going to get a drink then back to my room,” you lied.
“....dressed up like that?” He asked. You blushed.
“Um, yeah, we decided to dress nicely for our call earlier. Bit of a treat, you know?” You said.
“So...what are you doing at the exit if you’re getting a drink?”
“Thought I’d go around the outside to get some fresh air before entering the kitchen.” You lied, again.
“Without me?!” Steve said. You jumped.
“Oh uh, hey, um, yeah I changed my mind again.”
“Well can I at least join you this time?”
“Oh, uh..”
“What do you mean this time?” Bucky asked.
“Well I found her at both the north and south exits and she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to go for a walk or not. I offered my company and she said no.” He said.
“Maybe that’s why she said no.” Bucky teased. You giggled a little.
“So how come Steve caught you at the north and south exits and I caught you at this one and the east exit?” Bucky asked.
“Oh, I...um...I...wait, how did you know I was at the east exit?” You asked.
“Because we have eyes everywhere, Y/N.” Tony said, appearing behind Steve. He held up his tablet that contained Jarvis’ map. “I told them to follow you.”
“What? Why?” You asked.
“Because, you’re sneaking out to that party. Don’t think you can outsmart Jarvis now, Y/N.”
“Damn you, Jarvis.” you mumbled under your breath.
“I have been programmed to protect everyone in this compound, especially children.” Jarvis said over the speakers. Bucky, Steve and Tony all laughed.
“Oh very funny. I’m not a child.” You said, sarcastically.
“No you’re not, but you’re also not 18 yet which means you’re still legally under our care. And when I say you can’t go to a party, it means you cannot go to a party.” Tony said, taking a step towards you.
“But Tony, if I miss out I won’t be one of the cool kids.” You said.
“You live with all the cool kids here.” said Bucky, you rolled your eyes at him.
“I can’t believe you disobeyed me and tried to sneak past even Jarvis.” Tony said.
“I’m sorry for disobeying you, I really am. I just...I need to go to this. People are waiting for me.” You pleaded.
“No. Maybe I would have considered it if you didn’t break my trust. But now I want an apology.”
“I just said sorry.”
“No no, I want a proper apology.”
“What do you mean by a proper apology?” You asked.
Tony took a step towards you and you subconsciously backed away.
“Come here.” He said, sternly. You looked to Steve and Bucky for help but they just kept a poker face. You stepped closer to Tony.
“Now, I need to make sure you mean your apology and that you’re not going to break my trust again. Any ideas on how I’ll do that?” Tony asked.
“By putting a Jarvis tracker on me….oh wait,” you said, sarcastically. Bucky chuckled. Tony cleared his throat.
“Keep talking like that and this will be much worse for you.” Tony said.
“What will?” You asked.
“This.” Tony said. In one swift motion he had swooped you up and pinned you to the ground, careful not to hurt you in the process.
“What the hell?!” You complained, now trapped under Tony.
“I’m not going to stop until I know you’ve learned your lesson.” He informed.
“Stop what??” You asked. He pulled your arms up and pinned them above your head. He then took a single finger and wiggled it into your armpit. You instantly started giggling.
“Nononono wahait shit plehease,” you giggled.
“Not until I know your apology is sincere.” He said, wiggling another finger into your armpit.
“Please please please I am sohohorry,”
“No you’re not, not yet.” He said. With that, he let go of your arms and stuck both hands into your armpits. You pulled your arms straight down, trapping his hands in the process.
“WAIT NO PLEASE!” You screamed as he tickled deep into your armpits. Bucky and Steve both awed at your giggling mess.
"Come join, agents. You deserve some down time too.” Tony said to Steve and Bucky. They exchanged a look and smiled before walking over to you.
“NO NO NO NOT YOU!” You screamed, watching them approach. Tony was still tickling your armpits so Steve sat to the side and started kneading your hips. Bucky grabbed your legs and went for the back of your knees. You yelped and screamed and arched your body violently.
“AHAHAHAHA NOHOHO STOHOHOP!” You cried.
“Not until you’ve learned your lesson.” Tony repeated.
“I HAHAHAHAVE!” You cried.
“What do you think guys? Has she?” Tony asked the others. They both said “no” in unison. “Right then,” Tony continued.
He removed his hands from your armpits and started tickling your neck. You hunched up your shoulders and squealed. Steve noticed you were trying to pull Tony’s hands away so he shuffled up next to your head, grabbed your arms, pinned them above your head again and sat on them.
“WHAT THE HEHEHELL?!” You screamed, now unable to protect yourself from Tony. Steve gave an evil laugh then proceeded to drill his fingers into your armpits. You screamed louder than ever and frantically tried to twist away.
“NAHAHAHAHAHA PLEHEHEHEASE!” Tears started forming in your eyes as the boys tortured you. Bucky adjusted himself so he was now sat on your legs. Having just taken your shoes off, he was now tickling the soles of your feet.
“PLEHEHEHEHEASE I’M SO SOHOHOHORRY!” You yelled through the laughter. Tony felt your legs trying to move and looked over his shoulder to find Bucky holding your toes and scratching at your soles. You screamed loudly again and fell into silent laughter, your face going bright red.
Tony looked at Steve and they both stopped instantly, but you were still screaming. They looked over and realised Bucky was still going, tickling both of your feet simultaneously.
“Buck, ease up now, don’t kill her.” Steve said.
“Oops,” said Bucky, climbing off your legs. Steve got off of your arms but Tony was still sat on your waist.
“I….I...I really am sorry, Tony.” You breathed out.
“I believe you,” he said. “Will you do it again?”
“Absolutely not,” You giggled softly.
“Good.” He climbed off of you and helped you up.
“What time does this party start?” He asked. You looked at your watch, it was now half 8 .
“In half an hour,” you said.
“Go and fix your hair and makeup. I’ll drive you there.” He said.
“Really?” You asked.
“Yes, really. I was too hard on you earlier. But you’re still only 16 so I’ll be collecting you at midnight, okay?”
You stood up and smiled at the three of them. Then you thought for a moment.
“No.” You said.
“Excuse me?” Tony responded.
“I’m not gonna go. I want to spend the night with my family.” You said. Bucky clutched his heart and let out a long “awww”, which made you giggle.
“Movie and snacks?” Tony asked.
“Movie and snacks.” You agreed.
You all walked back down the corridor together.
“So, does this mean you’re definitely not going for a walk?” Steve teased. You laughed and elbowed him in the ribs. He put his arm around you.
“Wait, let me get changed into something more comfy,” you said, running up the stairs. When you came back down, you got your phone out and messaged your friend.
“Sorry, can’t make it, got caught. See you another time.”
You then placed your phone on the side and sat down between Tony and Steve.
One by one, the other avengers slowly joined your little film group. It really was the perfect family night.
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latenightdecaf · 3 years
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Entry 7 - Summer of Vulnerability
part of let the pile of good things grow series - series masterlist
previous entry here
Yoongi x reader
Ft. nonidol!bts (glimpse of ex-boyfriend!namjoon)
Producer!yoongi, roommate!yoongi, soft!yoongi
slow burn romance, friendship, slice of life
series of drabbles/one shots
warnings: alcohol consumption
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a/n: okay so here goes y/n remembering his ex!joon also will never get over of in the soop yoongi! can’t wait for the new season. Thank you guys for reading! 🙈
word count: 2,546
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Went home from the grocery and some of their wines are on sale so you got carried away and bought 8 bottles and to your surprise, Yoongi’s cooking steak. “oh my God!” You exclaimed as soon as you saw him cooking in the kitchen with paperbag of wines in your arms. Yoongi looked at you with a confused face.
“Did you just read my mind or what??! There’s a sale on the corner deli and…” raising both of your hands as if surrendering, “okay don’t judge me yet but i got a little carried away.”
“A little carried away? You looked like the world’s going to run out of wine tomorrow.”
He smiled on your disclaimer and shaking his head as he paid his attention back to his steak.
“No.” You sighed. “Nothing went my way today, not at all—but i dont want to think about it. I’m psyching myself out of it you see, or better yet i’m drowning myself on these babies.” As you drank your first glass empty. “My eternal companion, the love of my life…”
He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.
He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.
“Come on clear the tables, your babies are not going anywhere.” He declared as he puts down 3 steaks and some aglio olio with honestly way too much garlic because it’s Yoongi.
“I didn’t saw you made pasta also. I am so happy now.” You happily exclaimed as you took a bite of your new favorite steak. “But why the 3 steaks? You hungry?”
He sat in front of you, filling your glass with wine and his too.
“You need food before you chug them all up. I’m not gonna clean up your mess. So you better get it together today. I tell you.” He scolded you.
“Sure sure.” As you immediately devour the pasta he made.
One bottle of wine down. He let you listened to a ‘sketch’ he’s been working on lately. Carefully studying your already flushed face for any reaction. He does this sometimes, ask for your opinion even though you have zero idea about music and producing or anything related to that for that matter.
All he considers is whether you winced at the melody of it, or you nod and eventually smile as it goes. But this time you’re just staring blankly in your wine glass, circling it repeatedly as the sketch ended at exactly 2 mins and 19 secs. And when it ended you looked straight at him.
“This looks like it’s almost done right?” You commented. “Yeah.” As he gulps on his wine, emptying another glass.
“And you wrote the lyrics also?” He nodded.
You looked away and sighed. “It’s too beautiful—Sad and in pain, feels tormented also but beautiful.”
He blinked several times at your words. You’ve heard several of his sketches before and you’d just always say, ‘it sounds good, but Yoongi—i have no idea about music. Zero.’ But he’d let you hear it anyway for couple more times and he’d smile at your ignorant reactions.
This time however, doesn’t seem like a laughing matter. Something about your words got his heart beating faster and he has no idea if its just the amount of alcohol he has consumed by now or just you.
You clinked on his empty glass. And asked, “You want more?” He nodded. And you poured him another. “Remember the girl, I introduced to you before?” You stopped and think for a second and it dawned to you. “Hell yeah, I remember.”
“She’s actually my ex-girlfriend.” He declared.
“Well that I did not expected. The ex part. I can tell though she looks really special.”
“Well, we’re together for a while. But now we’re just co-workers for this debut song of a girl I told you about before. That’s why she was here also the last time, we were looking through old sketches that I have after the meeting. We actually finished that quite early. ”
He never really talked that much about himself. He’s good at talking about work, which for you is already more than enough. You know that despite your living situation, he’s not really obligated to get personal if he doesnt want to. And besides, you also don’t want to. Your end of the rope for sure is scared of any form of vulnerability anyway—so you’re not expecting or demanding that from anybody else.
“So you’re just co-workers now?”
“Yeah, I think so. I really don’t know what I feel.”
“Well, relationships are messy my friend.” Raising your glass of wine as if to cheers and chugging it in one go.
Not sure of what to say next but he looks like he’s in mood to talk but the topic looks too sensitive to even crack a joke so you continued drinking despite the eerie atmosphere.
“If you dont mind me asking, what happened?” Yes, despite your immense effort to hold yourself back. Like any other novel you read, you have this eager feeling to know how it ends. Your mind is literally shouting, ‘But I gots to know!!’
And so you asked. Half fearing for your life for being too nosy and half expecting that you might be up for a good story. Elbows resting on the table, with your chin at the palm of your hand looking eager to hear the story.
“We’ve been together for a while”
“Yeah, you said that already.. and that she’s a song writer. I figured.” Unconsciously saying your thoughts out loud.
“You wanna tell the story instead?” He teasingly reacted in a straight face.
“I didn’t mean to say that out loud… I literally said that in my mind and my mouth just burst it open. They both can’t coordinate that well. I’m sorry. You may continue…sir. Please don’t cut my head off.” You love teasing him.
“You’re drunk.” He was pointing out the obvious by that time, after two bottles of wine.
“Yes she’s a songwriter. They said before thay she’s the words to my melody. Well… before.”
Something about those words just made your heart ache. Frowning in his words you continue to listen.
“We’re together for about 2 years? And then on and off after…. She cheated on me, slept with another producer from another company. I really thought that was the end but after that i still accepted her. I don’t know why.”
“Aigoo you dumbass solider of love. And then??” Continuously frowning in frustration led you to keep on drinking.
He has no plans of actually telling this story tonight, it just poured out. You’re just one of those people that actually listens. He has seen you before, how intensely you focus on a movie or in a book that it bothers you for day. You love hearing stories and your willingness felt like a safe space for his unspoken scars.
“She keeps coming back to me and I keep accepting her. That’s it.”
With a confused look on your face, “I don’t get it.”
“Like you said, relationships are messy.” He’s obviously trying to close the topic already but that’s not going to stop you—you never stop midway of the story. This is not how it ends.
“Messy is one thing, toxic is another. And since when are you a coward? You don’t strike me as one. Really.” ‘Yeah i was.’ Yoongi thought in his head. Words are just literally pouring out of your mouth by now, drowning yet another glass. Yoongi opening your forth bottle.
“Boy, I bought the wrong alcohol tonight, tequila would’ve been perfect.” You declared as he pours you a refill. He laughed at this comment, he kept wondering sometimes how easy it is for you to make him laugh.
“No but all kidding aside… Hard question coming in, Min Yoongi. Do you still love her?” Looking right at his eyes and him staring back at you as he answered. “No, we broke up a month before I moved in here.”
‘That’s quite a while, at least 9 or 10 months now…’ you thought to yourself
“Yeah but having been broken up doesn’t mean that love is gone. It’s not a switch you know.”
“I know. And I wish it was, she’s was a big part of my life I’m not denying that and maybe she always will be. But I’ve changed, she has changed—we’re no longer the same people that we were in the same relationship where I keep questioning my self worth. That’s done now, over. Love took a turn, and it doesn’t look the same anymore. We’re just co-workers now that’s all.”
You like the way he said it. Being no longer the same people that they were. You nodded in his statement not sure what to say next and also feeling a little dizzy.
“I gotta pee.” You suddenly declared and stood up, ran in small steps to the bathroom with Yoongi smiling at you and shaking his head.
And when you got back, he got you a warm water on your favorite mug.
Your thoughts are all over the place when you’re drunk, like you said—your mouth just spills it all out.
“You know what, this is all very brave of you. Being friends with your ex, I can’t imagine.”
“Why? Can’t you?” Staring blankly and holding onto your mug, eyes blinking fast in this question.
“I’m not sure. I’ve never really done it before, I’ll let you know if I can.”
You’ve been staring hard on your mug contemplating on his question. He gently touched your hand that’s been holding your mug and said, “Just drink your water.” And pulled it away as soon as you looked like your soul has comeback to earth.
“Can’t I…?” You repeated the question again, and this time out loud.
Hands underneath your chin and resting your elbows on the table. Yoongi is just staring at you, hands in his cheeks—thumb underneath his chin, not even sure if you can even see him. “I hate your question.” You looked at his eyes this time and said that and he just smiled and when he did, you narrowed your eyes. “I hate your smile too.” And this time, he gave you an even bigger one, those gummy smile. And whenever he smiles at you like that you just can’t help but grin in return.
You chugged the water and showed him your empty mug.
He got up and put the rest of the unopened bottle of wine back to the fridge just to prevent you from opening yet another. With his back facing you, arranging the couple of bottles left unto your fridge.
“Yoongi-ah, I know and I love how we respect each other’s privacy and all but just in case things get too heavy. I’m always here, you know. I mean, I’m really glad about today.”
He looked back at you, hands underneath your chin again and eyelids looking all heavy.
“Same goes for you, I’m always here…” And he turned his back again, “fixing you some food and light bulbs.”
And that statement made you smile. “Indeed, my friend. Indeed.”
He went back to the table and grabbed your wine glass and emptying it for you.
“So you wanna talk about how nothing went right today?” You sighed with your eyes closed.
“Maybe next time, my friend.” You stood up from the dinning table, offered to clean the rest of the dishes but Yoongi insisted that he’d do it instead. So you just nodded and slowly creep back into your room.
“Thanks for today, Yoongi.” You thanked him before you go, peeking behind the wall near the counter and he just smiled at you, cleaning gloves on and started washing the dishes.
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Minutes later, you shouted from inside of your room.
“Hey i’ll be in the bathroom for a while. Hope you’re already done using it.”
Yoongi didnt answer. He’s already in his room.
You sat in the tub filled with water that is too hot for anyone else but not for you. Head all dizzy and pounding. It’s 2 am and nothing is more comforting than the silence of it all. Alcohol keeps you awake, more than coffee ever does. The dizziness, the feeling that is drilling in your head, makes it hard for you to sleep. Despite the fact that you always drink. You always drink on an empty stomach though, just so you’re sure you would pass out and not have a hard time sleeping.
But tonight you can’t say no—Yoongi made dinner and as much as you hate how you’re having a hard time now you don’t regret it. The question he said, still lingers. And you know your answer to this, you can’t.
Along with the headache, comes the memories you rarely remember—there are just some special days where somehow the guilt and regret still comes to you in waves, together with conversations you long to let go.
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“You can’t be serious?” Joon said, voice cracking with hand on his hair in frustration. “But I am.” With a straight face you answered, “I can’t marry you, Joon. I don’t want to have kids and I know how much you want to have children.” Feeling the desperation in his face and actions, he held your hands close and hugged you. “I love you, I want to marry you. We don’t need to have kids immediately, that’s years away. We don’t have to even worry about that now.” It hurts you to seem him this way, yes both of you may be young—maybe you will change your mind but there’s no guarantee to it. You held onto his shoulder to see his face, tears kept rolling down his face and you keep wiping it off one by one. You’ve thought about this even just a year into the relationship, with all the dad jokes and tiny little shoes he kept in his room. He’s going to be a wonderful dad you thought—maybe not just to your kids because you don’t want one.
The most wonderful man in the world just asked you to marry him a few minutes ago, and now he’s crying on your shoulder in defeat. While you can’t even bring yourself to cry, everything about this just made you numb. You just know you’re doing the right thing. Keeping him by your side with a promise of a future you can’t guarantee is not what love is. You loved him—even much so that you could ever admit.
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With the knock on the door, you went back to reality.
“Hey you in there?” His voice echoing at 2 in the morning.
“Yeah, I’ll be here still for a while. You need it?”
“No, it’s okay.” He quietly said, as you heard his footsteps getting farther away.
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moodboard sr: x
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Text
One Million In One Day | 10 (Final)
GOT7 SugarDaddy!Jackson Wang x Reader + Park Jinyoung x Reader | Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Characters: GOT7 Summary: His mother’s final wish is to see him be happy in a relationship, knowing that Jackson would be fine when she left him. But, damn, he didn’t have time for relationships, especially not since he was busy running his father’s billion dollar empire, thus the compromise: you. Word Count: <2k Warnings: Stalking, fighting, cursing, mentioning of illness, TYPOS, etc.
A/N: I literally said I was planning to finish this soon, but guess what HAHHAHAH THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. I-- Anyway, to @tia-m94, @aquietkerfuffle SKSKSKS here it is. Also maybe actually listen to the song reader begged to play in this chappie lol
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Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy was going to be playing in the club. Why? Because I crawled over to the DJ and wept, begging him to play it. Why I was emotional about it: yes. I was just- yes. Y'know?
Yes.
It was why Nari, at that point, had disowned me. Also Mark, he disowned me too... although I don't actually remember if he was with us at this time.
I did remember where Jinyoung was though. I squint and looked out in the crowd for him.
I was wearing a sparkly violet dress and killer pumps, as in they were killing my feet. I was warned not to remove them though by the sour man watching me, over there with a sweater on and skinny jeans. Who wears sweaters in a dance club?
I mean it's fine, he was kinda cute. Like hecka cute. 10/10 cute you know. Would ask him out.
I finally spot him from where he sat in one of the tables by the bar. I wave at him. He sees me and waves back. I wipe the tears from my face and thank the DJ for promising to play the song for me and make my way to the cute man in a plain-ass lumpy sweater.
"What did the DJ say?" Jinyoung asks me, standing up from the stool and helping me sit.
"Well, first of all, I told him my boyfriend was really mean because he told me I couldn't take these uncomfortable shoes off."
Jinyoung sighs, "I told you to wear sneakers so we wouldn't have this conversation, but you insisted on 'looking hot.'"
I am offended by the air quotes he says.
"I so too am hot, you worthless piece of-" but my face is suddenly in his hands and my lips are being peppered by kisses. He lightly brushes his lips on mine and wipes he side of it, "Ye, ye, I didn't mean it like that, and you know it, pabo. You're absolutely stunning most of the time."
I blink, most-of-the-time doesn't sit right with me, but I'm not really sure why... "I feel like I should still fight with you."
Jinyoung chuckles then raises his brows and points, "Isn't that your song?"
I take a moment and listen. I then promptly freak out and nod. I instantly grab Jinyoung by the hand and drag him out. Once he's on his feet, he scolds, "up, up, up, up, up. What did we talk about earlier?"
I whine, "What is it this time?"
Jinyoung looks me in the eye, "after this song we...?"
I groan, "we go home! Ugh, what a party pooper."
"Just making sure we're on the same page, baby girl."
I make a face and poke Jinyoung's belly, "oooh, am I your baby girl?"
He chuckles and hums. He pulls his hand away from mine to place his arm around my shoulders, "More like shit-faced, childish adult."
I give him a look, "let's break up."
"Ah," he boops my nose, "when you're not under the influence, m'kay? For now, let's dance."
And so dance we did, if you think of flailing your arms and shaking your rump was dancing. But of course it is though.
Jinyoung, as exasperated as he was, actually enjoyed dancing with me, I think. I mean he seemed to be enjoying himself. He had his hands clenched and his arms folded, shaking as if he held two maracas. And I, when I wasn't head banging, I was lovingly looking at him.
"I'm glad that you're my boyfriend."
Jinyoung didn't seem to hear me because he just continues doing his dad-ish dancey-dance. I was about to say it again, but then his eyes catch something and he point at the direction, "Isn't that Jackson?"
"Jackson?" I scrunch my nose, "Jackson who?"
"Jackson Wang, babe. You're sugar daddy."
I take a moment to think about what he said. Jinyoung looks at me and raises a brow. He chuckles, "you're so shitfaced. Jackson's the one who bought us tickets to the Olympics? Got me a job in Seoul? Got you a job in Seoul?"
I wipe my nose, "Well, I know Michael Jackson."
Jinyoung sighs, "come on, let's say hi. Your song's almost over."
The next thing I know, Jinyoung's grabbing my hand and leading me off to the side.
Jackson, who had seen us, wasn't actually with anyone tonight. Bambam actually owned the club, and he had yet to show up. He found the dancing spectacle pretty amusing but there was a this thing in his chest, like something was biting his heart.
Oh fuck, they're coming over.
Jinyoung calls out. Jackson looks over and pulls on a smile, "Aye, Park Jinyoung." They do a bro shake.
I turn to the man in shade and wonder why he's wearing shades indoors, so I ask, "why are you wearing shades indoors?"
Jinyoung sighs. Jackson's lips part in thought, "they look cool?"
The sweater man shakes his head, "she's shitfaced. She cried over this song and doesn't remember who you are. You know know how she gets when she's drunk."
"I'm not drunk!"
Jackson clenches his fist, thinking, how do I still think she's cute when she doesn't remember me when she's drunk?
"Sure," Jinyoung says, turning to man sat alone in the booth, "you with anyone tonight, Seunie?"
I perk up, "Seunie's here?"
Jackson places his head in his hand and turns to Jinyoung, "I'm waiting for Bambam."
Jinyoung chuckles, "don't wait up."
Jackson laughs softly, "I'm giving him a few more minutes"
"That's what I said last time. Bam's excuse was so bad too."
"Stuck in traffic?"
"Stuck in traffic."
"Wait, where's Seunie?" I whine. Jinyoung looks at me and points, "there's your beloved Seunie."
Jackson freezes.
I turn to him and pout, "why are you wearing shades indoors?"
Jinyoung sighs. He takes my face in his hands and mouths slowly, "stay with Jackson. I need to pee."
"I don't need to pee though."
"Which is why you should stay with Jackson."
"But why?"
Jinyoung turns to Jackson and Jackson nods, "it's okay dude, I got it."
Jinyoung takes his leave.
Jackson moves closer, "so, Seunie?"
I turn to him and tilt my head, "Seunie?"
"He's your friend."
"He's my best friend. I love him."
Jackson clears his throat, "but you said you don't know who Jackson Wang is?"
"MmMmm, nope," I pop the p.
Jackson chuckles, "don't do that?"
"Do what?"
He takes a moment to respond. He mutters softly under his breath, "make me want to steal you away."
"Habudabibittiy-doo," I repeat his words.
Jackson sighs.
For a moment, I sit with shades guy in silence until he speaks up again, "He likes you a lot."
"Likes who?"
"You."
"Who likes me?"
"Jackson Wang."
I think for a moment, "Seunie?"
Jackson stills. He debates the consequences. He chuckles, knowing how bad these drunk episodes were. He clarifies the indifference in the question, "Yeah, I, Seunie, like you. So, so much."
"He said that?"
He nods, "he told me."
I blink and nod, "I like him too."
Jackson shakes his head. What a joke. He continues, "Jackson likes you in a way Jinyoung does, but sadder."
I pout my lips, "Sadder? I don't like it when Seunie is sad. He's sad because he misses his mom"
He pushes his shades up his forehead, "He's not sad about liking you like that. He's sad in a way he wants to be the one to bring you home when you're drunk and hold you when you sleep."
"He... felt like that?"
"He felt it when you went on dates, even though they were fake. He feels it until now."
I look at the man and see sadness in his eyes, "don't cry."
He gives a sad laugh, "I'm not sad, I'm happy for you. You glow when you're with him and he glows because of you. When we started hanging out with him, I thought he talked about you to grind my gears, but he just really loves you. I'm glad he does."
"Then why do you look like you're about to cry?"
"It still hurts."
"I'm back," Jinyoung suddenly said. He looks between us and says, "damn, you look like you're about to pass out, both of you."
Jackson clicks his tongue, "I'm tired of waiting from Bambam."
"Well, we're going home too. You need a ride?"
"Nah. I bought my car."
"Good. I really didn't feel like driving across the city for you."
Jackson rolls his eyes, chuckling, "same for you two."
"Not for her though, right? Anything for her," Jinyoung says, looking at Jackson with a smile, then to me, "come on, pabo." He turns around and gathers my arms. He bends down and pulls me up behind him.
"See you next week, Jackson," Jinyoung says. Jackson nods. They have a executive meeting tomorrow. Jinyoung was quickly rising above the ranks. As proud he felt, he felt a little jealous too. He really had not fault to him, huh?
He puts his shades back down and raises a glass, "I'll finish this one."
"Don't drink too much."
"Just the one."
He watches as Jinyoung walks away. He watches her nuzzle against him. He looks to his glass, "anything for her.
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ushiwakaout · 4 years
Text
Things I believe Matsukawa Issei and you’re kid would say if you lived together (From the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep)
i’m ONLY doing this because @sloppykyuu is just begging me to write about Issei 🙄 (and @kac-chowsballs requested it as well)
Merry christmas Pea! I’m Latina so i celebrate today (the 24th) 💚
established relationship || fem mommy reader || you and Matus have a kid together and you call him Bub/kiddo/bean their name is Sora (unisex name so u can decide if it’s a girl or boy)
“Hey bean, let’s go wake up your momma.” (7:00 am)
“No... mommy’s scary when she makes up.”
“I know bub, i wake up to her every morning, how do you think i feel?”
you: “I can hear you Issei!!!”
“He meant to say scary beautiful momma.”
you: “Don’t defend your dad bub.”
“Shut up and give me a kiss woman.”
“How’d you sleep? Good? Good.”
“Not feeling sore?”
“Ow, he’s not even listening, huh bean.”
“What?”
“See exactly my point.”
“I don’t work today, so how about we go out today and have some family time.”
*will tangle his fingers in your hair while you’re still in bed*
“Or do you wanna stay in bed and get a sitter~”
“Ow, dont hit me. I’m just making suggestions.”
“Hey, bean- why don’t you give daddy and mommy some alone time, yeah?”
*your kid whines a little because he low key was falling asleep on your chest*
you: “Come on kiddo, i’ll make you whatever you want for breakfast.” (7:30 am)
“anything?”
*Sora’s legit rushing out the door*
“Come here.”
*Isseis already dressed but you’re nude on the sheets, makes you sit on his lap anyways*
“You sure you don’t wanna get a sitter.”
*he’s holding your hips and he’s kissing you all over, he’s doing it in a sweet romantic manner*
“You can have a date night and everything.”
“You know bean doesn’t mind, he’s old enough to get that mommy and daddy need alone time.”
“Family time? You sure?”
*hes caressing the small of your back and just giving you the most softest smile.”
“Come on , get up and let’s make Sora some breakfast.” (8:00 am)
*he really do be handing you one of his old uniform shirt and a pair of his clean boxers, he knows they makes you feel comfy*
“Bean, hey- leave your mom alone while she’s cooking.”
“But i wanna watch.”
*big eye roll from Issei but he’s not surprised he’s fascinated with his mother because, like father like son*
“Need some help?”
“Are you sure?
“Fine... Give me a kiss.”
“Their not even watching...”
“You look sexy in my clothes, have I told you that?”
*smacks you’re ass before kissing your cheek and walking back to Sora*
“Done? Look good babe.”
“No,no,no put the dishes down.”
“You cook, I clean, remember?”
*you roll your eyes and set the plates down in the sink*
“Good girl. Go clean up with Sora while i do this.” (9:00 am)
*you and Sora are in the bath together missing around, making a mohawk with their hair and everything*
*Matsu is all finished up with the dishes when he’s leaning on the door frame and listening to the two of you giggle in the bath*
*god he’s so in love with you it’s so sweet*
“You guys finished yet?” (9:40 am)
you: “Take a picture pops, it’ll last longer.”
“Take a picture- yeah you know what maybe i will.”
*takes a few pictures, definitely takes some on you and crops out Sora*
“Come on bean, let’s give mommy some alone time.”
“Want me to dress them?”
“Oh come on, i don’t dress then up so bad.”
“Fine, fine- I’ll keep it simple.”
“Stay here bean, i’ll be right back. I’m gonna check up on mom, yeah?”
you: “Why are you back here Issei.”
“Mmm just wanted to see if my sweet girl needs some company.” (10:00 am)
*a very quiet quicky, will fuck you over the sink with his hand wrapped around your neck so your back is so close to his chest, makes you watch yourself drool over his cock*
“You don’t want Sora to know that her mommy is a slut for her daddy’s cock.”
*hes legit got such a foul mouth*
“MOMMY I NEED TO PEE!!!”
*Issei burst out laughing bc you’re mid orgasm*
“Mommy’s coming Sora...”
*you’re punching his thigh a couple a thighs because he’s being an asshole*
“hurry im gonna pee of the floor.”
“Bean, you’re not even dressed yet.”
*bean is really running naked into the bathroom*
“I wanted mommy to dress me.”
you: “see i told you, you suck at dressing them.”
“hey- i’m trying my best here.” (10:20 am)
you: “Bubs, you’re getting to old to carry.”
“No im not.”
“No he’s not.”
“Come here, mom’s too weak to carry you bean.”
“No she’s not.”
you: “Thanks bean but mommy is a little weak so i need Issei to carry you.”
“But i don’t want papa.”
“Ouch, that hurt.”
“Only if papa buys me some tokoyaki.”
“Deal, come here bug.”
*Sora is a crawler so he likes crawling up from your feet until you cary him and he’s don’t it to the point where he scratches*
*that’s why issei doesn’t let him climb in him anymore- he picks him up and throws him on his shoulders*
“Woah, i’m so tall! Look momma!”
“Hey, give me your hand.”
“Because i wanna hold it woman, now give it to me.”
“Do you wanna share tokoyaki? No, thought so.”
“Open up *issei 100% likes feeding you in public to embarass you* Good girl. Taste good?” (1:00 pm)
*you probably take Sora to a park because she’s very energetic and needs to let it out somewhere*
“They’re getting so big...”
“Let me put another baby in you, yeah?”
“Come on, you’d look so good all full and plum for me.”
“Stop blushing woman, you should know you’re sexy by now.”
*he knudges your hip while you hide your face into his back*
*he kisses your hair and then the tip of your nose*
*Sora is running towards their dad and shes pulling on his jeans*
“Is mommy crying or did you embarrass her again.”
“I embarrassed her again.”
*cue pouty Sora*
“Bad daddy, come on momma, let’s get you away from meanie.”
you: “yes please.” (2:00 pm)
*sora makes you push them of the swings*
*issei once again is taking pictures of you if his kid*
*sora ends up playing with dogs that are like twice her size and one of them topples over her and she’s flying to the grown*
you: “Sora! You alright baby?!”
“let’s do that again mommy!!!”
“Do that one more time and i think you’ll kill your mommy.”
*you go back with issei for a bit and someone starts a fight with Sora bc she took someone’s swing*
“MOMMY THEY STARTED IT!!!”
you: “I know sora, hold on a second.”
*you get in a small altercation with another mother and you snap at them, leaving them quiet as hell*
“That was really sexy.”
you: “She called bean mean things, you thought i was gonna sit there and just listen?”
“Mmm, feisty... That’s very sexy of you momma bear.”
you: “Issei i’m gonna punch you.”
“Understood princess.”
“You two hungry yet?” (4:00 pm)
“YES! More tokoyaki!!!”
you: “bean you’ve had enough tokoyaki.”
“There’s no such thing.”
you: “yes there is, and i’m in the mood for ramen.”
“Got it, ramen it is. Let’s do Sora.”
“but.... tokoyaki.”
“Bean, they 100% have tokoyaki.”
“YES!!!”
you: “Carefull bean the foods probably hot.” (5:30 pm)
*they proceed to throw a tokoyaki ball in their mouth and they immediately spit it out*
“HOT TOKOYAKI!! OUCH!”
“Bean, this is why you listen to mommy.”
“I’m sleepy!” (6:30 pm)
you: “you want me to pick you up?”
“please!”
you: “They out yet?” (7:00 pm)
“Out cold...”
“Hold on, don’t move... Let me take picture.”
“Look this way, good girl- now smile for me.”
*looking down at his phone a little to long while he’s admiring you with his kid*
“We made that.”
“God please let me put another baby in you.”
“Give me a kiss pretty girl.”
“I love you.” (8:30 pm)
“Want me to tuck them in?”
“Alrighty hand them over. You go get ready for bed.”
“They really are out cold.”
“Mmm you look so beautiful.”
“Give me a kiss.”
“I can’t say it enough but you- You are so damn fine.”
*he 100% is fucking you with purpose tonight. he’s such a good baby daddy and just fills you up to the brim with his cum while fucking your pretty pussy*
“Let me lay on your chest baby.”
*proceeds to kiss your chest*
“I love you so much sweet girl.”
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nicholasmoneysign · 3 years
Text
MY FIRST SILENT RETREAT
Nick C. Haze
I couldn’t stand my voice so I decided to shut up for three days.
Talking to myself has gotten out of hand. I forget it’s not entirely normal to have conversations with the imaginary person I believe to be in my head. The voice is normal, but treating them as a separate entity may not be. My forms of regular conversation are hour-long therapy sessions each Thursday (after cutting down from twice a week), recording my songs and the atrocious task of mixing my own vocals, and one-sided taunts and greetings with my cat.
To hear my voice became the cringe of all cringe – my final straw before I lose all faith in myself. I didn’t know what to do but had a thought for a couple of days to stop talking temporarily. One more therapy session to express the chagrin I felt each time I nattered; something had to be done. So, last Thursday, the first of July 2021, at 1;30pm, I decided to shut up.
To help me through the urge of uttering fleeting thoughts, what my head was aching to blurt out, I tried writing down the nonsense into my notes as a helping tool.
P.s. this is my silent retreat. Technology is allowed.
“May the silence be ever in your favour”
Day 1
When does one begin a silent retreat?
I’m not going anywhere, no desirable destination for total vocal silence. I am left to attempt my everyday life without the use of my voice. Three days seems plenty. I can’t think of a better time than now to start.
3:21pm Thursday July 1, 2021
Clio got into a pee squat position on the carpet, so I reacted with a single “pshh” in an attempt to stop her. I cleaned her litter of the poop, but I know she’ll try to piss somewhere else in a matter of time. I don’t think pshh breaks my silence promise.
The tea kettle was being obnoxiously loud and so I uttered “Jesus”.
I am learning I have unnecessary sounds that escape me when my body turns in certain ways.
Took a sip of my coffee to taste the new creamer and began to speak but stopped myself.
I forgot and sang put your head on my shoulder while lifting off from the toilet seat.
A little over two hours. Reading the Art of War, I haven’t spoken anything other than accidental utters. Developed a frontal lobe headache. Not a scientist. Just a guess. If I die from a severe case of pissed off-ness and my body lays without signs of a struggle – a headache was involved.
Irked: sighed and uttered to a nude Polaroid left in my wallet as I decided to toss it out. Sitting in my wallet from the early pandemic months, it had warped her face and made the symbolism of her meanness too memorable, and she, in fact, was a mean person. The photo had to go. The nude of my sex worker romance and me in the pool at my desert birthday weekend went back in the Polaroid pile. Fresh slate needed, granted, the wallet was a gift from a former flame, fling, partner – disastrous fool. I need a new wallet.
It’s 7:00pm Thursday
The sun is starting to set, but it’s still daylight. Bless you, LA. I broke my vow of silence for a work call concerning a new designer to finish my book.
Dishonourable message to scammers, fuckwits and fucktards – suck the farts from J.Lo’s spicy booty hole.
Can’t trust anyone.
It’s 10:17pm
A lapse in memory loss, remind me: And I’m back on my silent retreat. I do slip up but working on minimising that.
12:08am
The only person I don’t mind hearing talk tonight is Tom Cruise. Shall, go chop wood and then continue reading the Art of War. Must take melatonin.
“19. Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
Excerpt from The Art of War
Sun Tzu
12:39am
Solid wank. I only thought about four or five exes. Finished with the prettiest actress. Luxury girl. Looks like charity. The person, not a philanthropic wank.
Day 2 – Friday
Still only going to break the silence for work conversation. Which will be calling Bill, this graphic designer and get my mother fucking book cover designed.
By far the longest I’ve gone without having to say nonsense. It’s peaceful. Starting to forget the sound of my voice. It sounds like a calmer voice in my head. Today is brighter.
11:43am
Broke silence to mumble one of my songs, hoping to think of better lyrics. This is a positive sign. Progress into what I hope happens after my retreat - to not be disgusted when I hear my voice.
I had to talk gruntingly because tik tok was on a nazi informational kick, which was odd. You play secret Hitler one time, and your phone thinks you need more fascist history lessons.
They’re going to kill off enough Bitcoin big stake owners, so the coin is too valuable, essentially wiping out the real possibility of it as currency. Ethereum should be the next best thing.
I broke the silence at the pool. Being a little lit and not noticing my neighbour was also here, once he said hello, I immediately chatted. I knew not to speak but don’t know how to tell others I’m not speaking at the moment. Maybe I’ll just not talk until they figure it out. Or make a t-shirt.
(nap)
1:04am Sunday
Rewarding experience. Continuing. holy fuck it’s not Sunday. It’s Friday night/Saturday.
(1:04am Saturday)
Continuing the silent retreat until tomorrow night, and then I’m going out and drinking. Hopefully, dancing and hold a titty.
3:52pm Saturday and I haven’t said a word
I think Clio learnt that even she went too far on this dramatic meow.
What somebody else’s granddaddy used to say: “if you wanna be seen, stand up. If you wanna be heard, speak up. If you wanna be appreciated, shut up.” – Contestant on survivor
7:59pm
I am ending this retreat. It’s been interesting. I have learnt how to hold back from speaking unnecessarily a little more. Clio is more scared of doing wrong when I’m silent rather than shouting profanities.
8:00pm ending my first silent retreat
“What do I say?
I need a playlist.”
– – – – – – – – –
Authors note: did not get to hold a titty.
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myrandom-fandomlife · 4 years
Text
Expect The Unexpected
JJ Maybank x Carrera! Reader
In which something unexpected happens but you and JJ make the best of it.
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Word Count: 2.9k
Warnings: Vomiting, Mentions of sex, some smutty themes in there, teen pregnancy, lots and lots of fluff, angst if you squint
A/N: So this has been about 3-4 days in the making, because I hit a bit of a block the other day but then I accidentally cranked out almost 2k more words than planned. I was gonna do some heavy editing but I ended up going back and adding a whole extra part of the story so it’s heavily unedited lmao. Let me know if you like it! 
Finding Out
“So, your period is late, and you have had migraines, nausea, and food cravings for the last two weeks?” Your best friend Sarah Cameron says to you, walking back from her massive en suite bathroom into her even bigger bedroom. “We need to get you a test,” She’s currently helping you figure out your situation. You think you might be pregnant. It makes sense when you start thinking back to the times you and your boyfriend, JJ, had sex to see if you could remember a time you didn’t use protection. There were a few that came to mind. The most recent being when the two of you had been making out in the hammocks and things got a little too heated. That was a month and a half ago.  
Your stomach is turning from anxiety. You were only 18, and JJ 19. What would you do about school? Or Kie, your sister? Not to mention the fact that your parents would probably die. You can feel your eyes welling up but then your stomach turns and you have to rush to Sarah’s bathroom to puke for what seems like the 10th time today.
Sarah follows you, holding your hair and rubbing your back while you empty your insides into her toilet. When you’re about done she stands up to fill a small cup with water and hand it to you for you to sip on. She grabs a towel and dampens it with some warm water to dab at your sweaty face and forehead, “I’m sorry, Sarah.” You manage weakly.
“Oh, no, babes. You have nothing to be sorry for. How about you lay down on my bed while I see if I can find you a test? Want me to call JJ and see if he would come to see you?”
“Oh, shit. I completely forgot about JJ. No, don’t call him. I need to see the tests for myself first before I talk to him about it.” Sarah nods in understanding, helping you back to her bed and covering you with a blanket before leaving for what you assume is the store. Despite all you’re worried, you drift off, exhausted from puking your guts out all morning.
You wake up to the sound of Sarah clicking away on her keyboard at her desk. When she sees you sit up she turns to you, “Feeling any better? I got a couple of tests at the store, but I didn’t want to wake you when I got back.”
“A lot better actually,” Your head had stopped its incessant pounding and your stomach had settled. “Thank you for this, Sarah. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You walk over to the older girl, hugging her.
“Of course, anytime. Now, you have some sticks to pee on!” She tries to brighten the mood, making you chuckle. You take a deep breath and head to the bathroom. 
Wait 8 minutes and if you are pregnant, two bold pink lines will appear on the screen.
It had been 7 minutes and you were pacing around Sarah’s bedroom. “Y/N, calm down.” She grabs your arm, “Whatever the outcome, it will be okay.”
You sigh, trying to slow your breathing, “I know, I’m just anxious. Why do these tests take so long?” Just then, your 8-minute timer rings and you jump at the sudden noise, “Sarah I can’t look.”
“I’ll look with you, okay? You have to know.” She grips your arm tight as you walk to the bathroom, looking at the 3 tests on the counter. You gasp when you see six bold pink lines from all the tests.
“Oh my god, oh my god,” You walk to Sarah’s bed again, feeling like you might fall over. “Oh my god, Sarah. What am I gonna do? How am I gonna tell JJ? What will Kie, or my parents say?” You ramble, your breaths getting quicker with each word.
“Hey, hey. One thing at a time, okay?” You nod, “First thing you need to do, tell JJ. You may not want to but he needs to know, and I am pretty sure it would take a lot more than a product of your love to make him stop loving you. That boy is whipped, he’s not going anywhere. Also, if he tries to leave you Kie and I will kick his ass.”
You smile, Sarah’s words reassuring you,  “Okay, you’re right. I just need the right time to tell him. My parents are going on a date tonight, so Kie is working The Wreck. I could invite him over?”
“Perfect!”
Telling JJ
You breathe deeply, trying to calm yourself about the night ahead of you. You were going to tell JJ tonight. Sarah had offered to be there but you knew this was something you had to do on your own. Luckily, your nausea had calmed down after your nap at Sarah’s and your anxiety about the situation was doing much better due to Sarah’s reassurances.
Just as you were pulling your hair into a messy bun, you hear a knock on the door. Taking one more calming breath, you go downstairs and open the door.
The blonde boy’s eyes trail up your body clad in his hoodie and short shorts, “You look so pretty in my clothes, babe.” He moves forward to wrap his arms around you, “Are you feeling better? Sarah said you were pretty sick this morning,” He presses a soft kiss to your neck, nuzzling his nose into you.
You pull away and look up at his bright blue eyes. He frowns when you leave his embrace, sensing your tension. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, J.”
You see the panic rise in him, “Oh my god, are you okay? Is something wrong? You aren’t badly sick, are you? You’re doing okay and everything? I couldn’t stand it if-”
“I’m pregnant,” You cut off his rambles and his eyes widen.
“What did you just say?”
You feel fear rising in you, “I’m pregnant,” You repeat softly.
You’re about to start crying with the silence that follows when his face breaks into a smile. “Oh my god, you’re pregnant? My baby is in you? Oh my god, baby!” He picks you up in a hug and spins you around. He must feel your tears on his shoulder because he puts you down, looking at you with concern, “Why’re you crying, princess? I mean, I know we’re young but I’ve known since before we started dating that I wanted to have a family with you. This is like a head start.” 
His words make you sob, “No, it’s happy tears. I’m so relieved you’re happy. I can handle Kie and my parents and the pogues being mad, but not you. I have my first ultrasound on Friday and I want you to come. I figure we can get a few extra copies of it as our way of telling people.”
He smiles softly, “Anything for you and our little one. How are you feeling now? Are you hungry? Wanna sit down?”
You laugh at his antics, “I’m craving some spaghetti and I really wanna snuggle with my boyfriend while watching Disney movies.”
“One plate of spaghetti and a boyfriend who loves watching Tangled with his baby mama.” He winks at you, knowing your favorite Disney movie since you made him watch it on one of your first dates. He presses a kiss to your cheek, heading to the kitchen to make dinner for the two of you.
Later, when you’re lying on the couch together watching Flynn and Rapunzel launch lanterns into the sky, JJ looks at you seriously, “I don’t want to be like him.”
This makes your heart clench for the boy, “You won’t, J. I promise you won’t. You’re already nothing like them. When you met my little cousins for the first time, you were so compassionate and patient with them. That was the first time I really knew I wanted you to be the father of my children.”
He kisses your forehead, “I love you so much gorgeous, we’re in this together.”
You lay your head back on his warm chest, “I love you too, so much, J.”
Telling Everyone
Your ultrasound went well, you found out that you were 6 weeks along. JJ and you both tearing up at the sound of your baby’s heartbeat. You got a few extra copies of the ultrasound and that’s when you started getting nervous about telling your parents. About half an hour ago you had told the pogues to meet you at The Wreck where you knew your parents and sister already were. Now, you and JJ were standing outside hand in hand. He gave yours a little squeeze and you guys went inside. 
“Hey guys! What’s this meeting about?” Your mom immediately asked upon you walking in.
You saw that your dad was next to her, Kie and the rest of the pogues at a table near you also looking at you. “So, I called you guys here to tell you something and I don’t want any of you to overreact, okay?” There was a chorus of agreements from your loved ones, “I called you guys here to tell you that I’m pregnant.” 
You winced at the multiple gasps you heard, but you got reassuring looks from Sarah and JJ who was still holding on to your hand tight. “Before you get angry, JJ and I have decided to keep the baby and we want to raise it together.”
“Well, if you’re sure you want to keep it, then I’m not mad.” Your mom spoke first.
“I agree with your mom. Though, I need to have some words with JJ.” Your dad sent a pointed look his way, you knew it was all fun though. Your dad always had a soft spot for JJ given his home situation. He had been allowed to stay the night when it got really bad and you just knew your dad loved JJ as if he were his son.
“As long as I’m godfather, it’s cool,” came from Pope.
“Hey! No, it’s only fair that I am!” John B argued with him.
You turned toward Kiara, wanting approval from your big sister, “Kie, are you okay with this?”
She sighed, “Yeah, I’m honestly just in shock. Debating smashing JJ’s skull in, but I’m good,” But you knew she was joking because she had a huge smile on her face, “I can’t wait to be an aunt, though I’m a little disappointed you didn’t tell me sooner.”
“She only found out a few days ago,” Sarah jumped in.
“You knew before me?!” Kie was incredulous.
“Well, when she had a sleepover at my house earlier this week and was throwing up every ten minutes I was concerned so I asked her how long it had been going on. Then she told me her other symptoms so I got her a few tests,” Sarah shrugged.
Kie seems to accept it because she launches into another question, “How far along are you?”
“Well, we went and got an ultrasound today, and I’m six weeks along. I got some pictures too.” You hand the few strips of photos to your parents and the pogues to pass around. 
“Ah! My first grandchild! I’m getting this framed!” Your mom exclaims with tears in her eyes.
“Aw Miss C, don’t cry! You’ll be the best grandma!” JJ wraps his arms around her making you smile.
Kie holds her arms out for a hug from you which you gladly accept, “I love you all so much. This baby is going to have the best family.”
The Baby Bump
Seven months into the pregnancy, you were ready for it to be over. Your bump was pretty big now, and your back constantly hurt. Though the morning sickness had ceased, you still got migraines, cravings, and you couldn’t sleep comfortably for the life of you. Even with JJ there, you struggled to get to sleep every night.
Now, you were putting on a bikini because the pogues were all going boating today. When you managed to get into your swimsuit, you looked in the mirror, feeling self-conscious. Your baby bump just made you feel fat. Pulling at the bottoms to try and cover your butt a little more, you frowned. You had definitely gained weight from this pregnancy.
Before you could dwell on it more, JJ came into your bedroom, donning his favorite swim trunks. He came up behind you, putting his hands on your waist and pressing kisses to your neck and jaw. “You. Look. So. Hot. Right. Now.” He said in between kissing your soft skin.
“Really baby? I feel disgusting.”
“No, you look so sexy. Knowing you’re carrying my baby is even better.” He nips at your skin making your breath catch in your throat. 
You could feel his hard-on starting to poke your back, “Really babe? Now? We have to leave in 15 minutes.” Despite your words, your hand reaches up to tug at his hair.
He moans into your neck, “Guess we have to be quick then, yeah?”
Baby Shower
Even though you protested, your mom, sister, and Sarah had decided to throw you a baby shower. You were about 8 months along now and so ready to have your baby. You never found out the gender, wanting it to be a surprise. 
Your gender-neutral themed shower, held at The Wreck, was a success. You ate good food and played some fun games. Your friends wished you congratulations, asking to feel the bump and making small talk.
Your favorite part was the gifts, though. Your mom and dad agreed it would be best for the two of you to stay with them, at least until after college, that way everyone could help with the baby while you were getting an education. God knows you have enough rooms. 
Your mom was so excited about decorating the nursery, so you weren’t surprised when she bought you a matching crib and rocking chair for the baby’s room. Sarah bought you a very nice stroller and Kie got you a nice changing table that doubled as a dresser.
You received lots of diapers and wipes, so many cute clothes, bottles, a diaper bag, and a ton of cute toys. 
You, Sarah, your mom, and Kiara were cleaning up from the party when JJ arrived. You were trying to clean up some of the trash but he immediately kissed you and said, “Woah, take it, easy princess. I got this, you sit down.”
You scoff, “JJ, I’m pregnant, not dying.” You still sit down, but reluctantly. He had been acting like this around you since you guys found out, even though you told him it was okay and you could actually do more than sit down. You appreciated the gesture, a lot, but it was a little over the top. Even for JJ.
“I know, babe. I just don’t want you to be stressed. I want the next month to go as smoothly as possible for you.”
You swear your heart melted, “I get it, J. Wanna see the new baby clothes? They’re so cute!”
“Sure do, baby,” He pulls a chair up and wraps an arm around your shoulders, kissing your forehead. “I love you and the baby so so much. I didn’t even think it was possible.
“I love you so so much, too. I can’t wait to have our baby.” You lean your head on his shoulder, showing him the new baby items from the shower. 
Labor
When you couldn’t get to sleep because of a pain in your stomach, you thought nothing of it. This had happened multiple times before where the baby was kicking too hard for you to sleep. But, when the pains kept getting worse, JJ made you go to the hospital. Your mom, dad, sister, him, and you all scrambled to get dressed in the middle of the night. When you were pulling on a pair of his sweatpants, your water broke, so it was officially go time.
You all piled in the car with the baby bag that had been packed since the day of your shower. When you arrived, they brought you to a room in a wheelchair, immediately putting you on epidural. 
When you were fully dilated, it was time to start pushing. JJ was the only one allowed in the room for this part. He held your hand and let you squeeze it for the whole 2 hours but it felt like 2 minutes.
You heard the first cries of your baby and JJ saying, “It’s a girl. Princess, we have a daughter.” He sounded choked up and when the doctor let you hold her, you started crying too.
“Stella Marie Maybank,” You said softly as you looked up at JJ. You had discussed names for both genders for a long time and you were in love with the ones you picked out. 
JJ took Stella from your arms to hold her himself and he looked down at you with the biggest smile on his face, “Thank you.”
“For what?” You were confused by his words, wondering what he meant.
“For this beautiful baby. For sticking by me even when I didn’t deserve it. Thank you for giving me the family I always wanted. I love you.”
“I love you too, J. So much.”
Tags: @overly-b​ @midnightmagicmusings​
368 notes · View notes
Text
One Photo → Mark Lee [2]
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↳  Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader
↳  AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.
↳  Word count: 2,610
↳  Chapters: Prelude | 1 | You Are Here! | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TUESDAY - 2
The next day you get up to your alarm, a little groggy and on autopilot. You mumble a greeting to Rhiannon who is already in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal. It's not uncommon for you to be undressed in front of her, so she barely reacts for a few moments when you reach into your clean clothes hamper in the living room and begin to change right there. 
However, in the midst of putting on your bra, Rhiannon squeals in excitement, nearly making you pee yourself.
“What the hell?!” You exclaim, now convinced that you're fully awake. 
“You-your front! Your entire torso! Look!” Rhiannon stands from the little dining table and approaches you, poking your stomach. You nearly let out a scream yourself when you see it.
Your entire torso, from collarbone to hip is completely covered with scar tissue, as well as the underside of your arms and the palms of your hands. “Rhiannon, I-” 
“Turn around.” She spoke quickly, and you obey her. She is silent for a little while, which is freaking you out even more than you already were. When she traces an outline over your right shoulder blade, your skin twitches in response. “(Y/N), this is the largest soulmate scar I've ever seen,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. 
“I-” You're barely able to stutter out any words. You stand there, half-naked as your best friend examines you.
“Does it hurt?” Rhiannon pokes and prods on the newly formed scar tissue, primarily focusing on your shoulders.
“N-no, not at all.” You purse your lips. You feel like normal if not a bit overwhelmed. 
“This has got to be from a hug,” she concludes, nudging you to turn you back around. “There are perfect handprint scars on your back, too. You hugged Mark yesterday, right?” 
“He, uh, hugged me three times,” you confirm. “Johnny and Jaehyun hugged me twice.” 
“Then it's one of them!” Rhiannon is squealing with delight. “That is so exciting!” 
Your face fell a little, finishing putting on your bra and shirt you picked out for the day. “Yeah,” you say softly.
“What's wrong?” Rhiannon is beginning to look concerned, ghosting a hand over your shoulder.
“It's Mark,” you state, “I can feel it, but…”
“But what?” 
“If that's true, everything changes. When he leaves, am I going to be able to handle it?” you finish getting dressed and stop to look at your hands. “I… I already know I won't be able to handle the depression and separation anxiety, I won't be able to handle being constantly sick… I was never taught about any of this and I never even thought it would happen to me.” 
“(Y/N)...”
“I need to go. I have class.” 
~
You took in a deep breath as you gripped your tablet pen. You had been spending the last month's worth of photoshop labs on drawing a picture of Iron Man for your digital rendering final, and you had been doing well enough until today. Now that your hands had part of your scar, they gripped your pen differently and you were slowly growing more and more frustrated. 
It's not that you were angry that you had found your soulmate, and you were definitely happy it was Mark- but everything was happening so quickly. What were you going to say to him? Would his scar ruin his career? Were you ready for any of this? You looked up to your computer screen, seeing your reflection in the black screensaver. Seems like you had been overthinking long enough for the monitor to go to sleep.
You can see the buds of forming tears in your reflection. They were totally uncalled for and you knew it. Finding a soulmate was a happy time. In a world where all of this was completely normalized, you had no idea why you suddenly started feeling like a freak. On your way to class, you had already started to feel eyes on you. Most scars were small, dainty and cute, like a handshake or a poke to the shoulder- not a giant one that covered your entire chest, the inside of your arms and the palms of your hands. Scars larger than an apple were extremely rare, and ones like yours were the rarest of all.
What a wonderful scar, you heard your teacher say when you walked into class that morning. They say that if your scar is big, you're meant to be together for more than one lifetime. 
Maybe that was true, and it felt like a big responsibility you weren't ready for. You jumped in your seat when your phone vibrated in your pocket. 
Mark: Are you in class?
You: Yeah, but it's almost done
Mark: What is your classroom number? I'd like to pick you up if that's okay
You: Are you sure? 
Mark: Yeah! I wanted to spend more time with you today, I feel like it wasn't enough yesterday 
You: You're cheesy 
You: My classroom is 103A in M building 
Mark: You know it
Mark: See you soon 
You found yourself smiling at his texts. Talking to him eased some of your anxiety, but it still lingered in the back of your head. You put your phone down and shake your mouse so the screen comes back to life. Iron Man stares back at you, and you almost close the program. Your thoughts were irrational, and the only thing your scars were stopping you from doing was finishing the touch-ups of the last few pixels of this piece. 
Your hands will get used to it, you scold yourself, this is a good thing, (Y/N). You're not your parents.
You're snapped out of your thoughts again as your classmates begin to pack up, the quiet rustle of backpacks filling the room. You look back at your piece, over a month's work put into it and all you needed was maybe five minutes more of touch-ups and it would be perfect. 
The next time this classroom was going to be used was later tonight for the college's dungeons and dragons party, so you didn't think anyone would mind you staying to finish up.
The five minutes of touch-ups turned into 20 minutes of improving mistakes you've noticed, and 20 minutes of improving mistakes turned into an hour of being completely absorbed in your work. You had been so focused on everything that you barely even perk up when you hear one of the computer chairs rolling closer to you.
“I thought you went home, Moose,” you say casually, sticking your tongue out and swiping a line of light reflection onto a strip of red plating. 
“You have a friend named Moose?” The voice replies, and you nearly jump out of your seat, the pen swiping across the tablet and drawing a large white streak across Iron Man's face.
“Mark,” you sigh, placing a hand on your chest and trying to take in a deep breath. “You scared me.” 
Mark smiled sheepishly. “Sorry…” he looks at your computer screen. “I didn't mean to ruin your piece.” 
You smile gently, hitting ctrl z on your keyboard. The streak disappears, you save the piece and turn off the computer. “It's okay. I'm just lucky I don't have autosave turned on.” 
Mark sighed with relief. “You kinda scared me,” he starts, looking you in the eye. “You didn't come out of the classroom for so long that I thought you might have forgotten. I probably would have left if your teacher didn't recognize me and say it was okay for me to come inside.” 
Your frown at him and avoid his eye contact, deciding to focus on zipping up your backpack. “I'm sorry,” you say dejectedly. “I was dumb, but I would just be a downright moron if I stood you up on purpose.” 
Mark laughed softly, watching you pack up. “What did you want to do today?” he asked, voice softer. 
“I don't know,” you say, standing and slinging your backpack over your shoulders. “I would like to drop this off at my dorm, though. It's kinda heavy.” 
“Okay,” Mark nods. “We can start with that and go from there.”
While you travelled back to your dorm, nearly all of your anxiety about your scars disappeared. You talked about anything but the scar that was easily noticeable through your summery outfit. The more people looked at you, the more you wonder if Mark was keeping quiet out of courtesy for your aversion to his first question on the subject. 
Mark was sweet, complimenting your outfit and keeping up a strong conversation about marvel movies.
“Have you seen Endgame yet?” you asked him once you got back to the subject of Iron Man, and Mark laughed sadly.
“To my disappointment, no,” he answered, letting you board the subway first, pulling up his face mask. “Haven't had the time.” he stood close enough to you on the busy subway car that you could still hear him properly.
“Well, if you want we could see it,” you offer quickly, blushing and looking away as you saw his smile through his eyes.
“Are you asking me out, (Y/N)?” he asks, nudging you gently with his elbow. 
“N-no,” you respond, swearing up and down mentally that you were as red as a tomato. 
“I would graciously accept, but how about we wait until tomorrow? I want to catch up a little bit, I haven't watched any of the films in a while, I've been so busy preparing for the tour.” Mark smiled when you turned back to look at him again.
“Okay, well, I have all the films at my dorm,” you say, biting your lip.
“Would your roommate be okay if we stayed in?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, she would be more than okay,” you tell him, which causes both of you to start laughing. “She will probably faint if she sees you again.”
“I think I've had my lifetime fair share of people fainting in front of me,” he says humorously. 
“I wouldn't worry. She is working on her finals today and probably won't be back until after you leave,” you say. “We will have the place to ourselves.” 
“Okay, that sounds good. I'm looking forward to catching up. Do you have popcorn?” he asks sheepishly. 
“Yeah, we-” the subway comes to an abrupt stop at your station, and you nearly lose your balance. Mark catches you before your face ploughs directly into his chest. He’s holding your arm gently as you exit the subway car, and it is then you truly notice that Mark's scars are clearly visible, from his palms to the edge of his t-shirt, just like you.
When you get back to your dorm room, you place your bag and your shoes in the hallway, leading Mark inside. He pulls down his mask and sighs happily, joining you in removing his shoes and placing them on the shoe rack.
“I remember when my dorm was about this size,” he says wistfully, looking around. You frown a little. 
“You mean everyone in NCT used to live in a place like this?” you ask, walking into the kitchen to prepare a pack of popcorn.
“Not exactly, the different subgroups all had their own dorms, but they were all tiny, for more than 3 guys to live in at once.” Mark wanders over to you in the kitchen, leaning back on the counter and crossing his ankles.
“I'm sorry,” you say. “I hope it's different for you now.” 
“Yeah,” he replies, watching you put the popcorn in the microwave and press the appropriate numbers. “We all live pretty comfortably now.”
You smile at him. “Good, I'm happy. You deserve to live in a place where you're comfortable.”
Mark is silent for a moment. The microwave finishes and he moves out of your way as you grab a large mixing bowl to put your snack in. He’s watching you diligently, and you feel that too familiar pinch in your chest. It's more intense than you've ever felt from just watching internet content of him on your laptop.
“What film did you want to start with?” you ask, leading him to the living room as you pull a tote bag out from under your coffee table that contains your Marvel movie collection. “We can just watch Infinity War if you want, or we can watch them in story order if you're feeling a little daring.” 
“You know the order to watch them chronologically?” he asks, sitting down with the popcorn bowl in his lap. 
“Yeah. Rhiannon and I watched them all in order up to the release of Endgame.” 
“Wow, I'm impressed,” Mark comments, popping a couple of pieces of the snack into his mouth. “What's the order of the last three films?” 
“Let me see… it's Thor Ragnarok, Ant-Man and the Wasp and Infinity War,” you answer. “Wanna watch those?” 
“Yeah. Let's do that.” 
A few hours later you both are now watching Infinity War, about halfway through the film. A blanket had made its way over your laps and the popcorn bowl has been long empty, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. 
You can tell Mark is nervous. You're sitting close, your legs nearly touching, and you wonder if you should say something. You hoped you didn't scare him away from saying anything when the topic was brought up the night before. You didn’t want your bitterness to ruin it all.
Once you spare one glance from the movie to look over at him, you notice Mark has already beat you to it. His gaze pierces right through you, and somehow you feel as if Mark is seeing your soul.
“I don't want to make you uncomfortable,” he says, half-smiling at you. “I don't want to repeat yesterday's mistake.”
“It's okay,” You say softly, “you didn't know.” 
“But I should have.” He sounds serious and definitely looks the part, too.
You lick your lips as you watch him. There's something that hits you, like a wave of anxiety that is different from your own. 
“Mark,” you have to pause to gather your words. “You've known me for two days. Mistakes are bound to happen, and I… I don't actually hate the premise.” 
“Would you be okay with, um, talking about it?” The movie is playing in the background, the flashing images reflecting different lights onto Mark's face.
“There is not much to talk about, is there?” you asked, holding up your scarred hand. “It's here, on both of us, and I'm happy. Scared, but happy.” 
“You're not upset about it?” he asked, and it was almost like he was bracing for rejection. 
You took his hand, lacing your fingers with his. “No. You said you wanted to know someone so well that you didn't have to think about it, right?”
“Yeah, I did.” Mark returned the grip, his eyes glancing between your eyes and your hand. “You're right, we don't have to think about it.” Mark smiles softly at you, freeing his hand from yours so he can wrap his arm around your shoulder, guiding you to lean into his side.
It's maybe two hours later when you're stirred ever so slightly by the jiggling of the lock to your front door. You don't open your eyes, trying to ignore the sound and continue to cuddle into the warm body squished against you on the couch. 
Soft voices are muffled through your ears, and in your half slumber you can't exactly make any words out. Fatigue eventually grips you once again, returning to the vivid dream you were engrossed in just moments ago. 
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starlit-dreaming · 4 years
Text
[wip tidbit] it was only one night 8
Fandom: WMMAP Rating: E Ship: Lucathy Goal: 15K Words (Oneshot) TL;DR: Modern Setting + Lawyer Athy + IT Expert Lucas + Unplanned Pregnancy from a ONS
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | [8] | x | 9 | 10 | 11
WC Progress: ~11k / 15k
Note: still nowhere close to finishing. i took a few days off because i didn’t feel like writing that actual scene where athy finds out she’s pregnant (since my inspo comes from listening to “the negative” from the waitress musical and i didn’t want to use it word for word even if it is pretty funny to me). i also might need a reread of the manhwa to get some inspo tbh
i still don’t feel like writing the scene, but on the bright side, i wrote some ideas for future scenarios! :’D
...which may or may not get scrapped from the final draft, which is fine because that’s the point of a wip sometimes. anyways, i like to call this one the “shit happens” edition, in which i avoid writing lucathy family fluff (even though that was literally the entire point of me writing this story LMAO)
.
“Athy,” Cabel announced, holding a small box in hand. “It’s time to pee on a stick!”
“I don’t wanna know, Cabel!” Athanasia cried, burying her face into the decorative pillow she was hugging. She was blatantly ignoring Cabel as Helena sat down at her side, rubbing Athanasia’s back in a soothing manner as she shot Cabel a flat look.
“It’s better to know, Athy,” Helena states, trying to soothe her best friend. “And if you’re going to have to find out, I think now’s probably the best.”
“You know what they say — there’s no time like the present,” Cabel added. “We’ll be right here for you…” he paused, “Er, maybe not for the ‘taking the test’ part, I mean. I don’t really want to listen to you using the bathroom.”
“Cabel,” Helena hissed before sighing and looking at Athanasia. “Ignore him. Haven’t you waited long enough, Athy?”
.
“Athanasia…?” the voice made her halt, causing her to turn as she makes eye contact with familiar golden eyes.
“Ezekiel,” she frowns.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes wide as he looked at her. He looks the same as he did before they got together, back when they were younger and naïve with an idolized future in sight, back when he still loved her.
It makes her feel just a bit nauseous.
“I should be asking you the same.” After all, he lives in the Alpheus Estate with Jennette, according to Helena back when she still attended those stupid high class parties.
“A business deal,” Ezekiel says, clearly distracted when he continues on with, “I haven’t seen you in years.”
“Yes, well, father asked to see me, so here I am,” she flatly states. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to hurry back so I can leave on time. I have an appointment to get to and will have to get dinner after that—”
“—how about I join you for dinner?” Ezekiel immediately suggests. “We could catch up.”
“I rather you didn’t,” she smiled. “My husband and I are having a dinner date tonight. I’m sure you understand.”
“Husband…?”
“I was wondering why you were taking so long,” Lucas states, wrapping an arm around her as she relaxes into him. “A friend of yours?”
“Something like that,” she states. “Luke, this is Ezekiel Alpheus. He’s the partner of my cousin, Jennette. Ezekiel, this is Lucas Hwang, my husband.”
“It’s… a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
“Hmm,” Lucas narrowed his eyes.
.
Athanasia was at the top of her game — she was prepared for anything.
Or so she thought.
.
“Why the fuck does he want to have lunch with you?” Lucas blinked, looking almost as bewildered as her.
“I… don’t know,” Athanasia grimaced. “Felix made the request for the appointment. I think it’s because I didn’t tell him about any of this directly? Maybe it’s because I’m also legally changing my surname to Obelia-Hwang and the process is really stupid because I thought getting married would make it a fast change? Or maybe it’s because of the baby — I definitely told Lily, and she lives with Felix ever since they got engaged, and Felix seems to always be trying to get my dad to talk to me which hasn’t worked until now, apparently.”
“Yikes… you okay?” Lucas wrinkled his nose.
“No, I’m not okay!” Athanasia cried, her hands tugging on her hair as her mind recounts all the possibilities. “Why now?! I would’ve been fine if he stayed a bastard father! Oh god, what if I run into Jennette? Or Ezekiel? Just saying their names gives me goosebumps and nausea and if I feel like throwing up, I’m definitely throwing up on them and pretending that I didn’t mean to.”
“And you’re confident that it’s not a business meeting, right?”
“Considering that when I was still the heiress, I still know my father’s contacts and business partners. That information is drilled into my head, Luke, and I just know that our meeting isn’t going to be business-related. I deliberately chose to work at The Lovely Success because my father has no affiliation with the firm.”
“Do you want me to be there for the meeting?” he asked, tugging on her hand to stop her from trying to pull her hair out.
“…a little bit,” she sniffed.
.
Tagging: @ilyusha-hwang @lithium-15 @bloodredruby
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imnotwolverine · 4 years
Text
Couch People
Henry Cavill x OC (you) drabble 
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Word count: 2.907
Warnings: Alcohol consumption and pure and utter fluff. 
Author’s note: I had a DREAM (last night). And I decided to write about it in Henry’s POV, since that’s a cute lil’ twist on the usual meet-cute situation. 
--
My couch is my new favourite object. It wasn’t up to last night. Yesterday it probably was like..my kitchen aid, or my glute drive. But today? It’s definitely my couch. Not only because I’m still slightly hungover and the thing is darn comfortable. No. It’s something else.
Sighing, I sink further down into the soft pillows, that darn tartan red throw still lingering in the corner, smelling of you. Fuck. I’m having it bad, huh?
Should I lose the tie? Was it too formal? Hesitantly tugging at the silk I watch the last of the audience leave the London Studios, the infamous red couch now moved to the side so a cleaning crew can ready the stage for the next show. I’m glad it’s over and fans leave me be for a hot second, my mind quite elsewhere as of this moment.
Before me stand the people I recognise to be your friends. Men, all of them. Their voices low but merry as they bounce off the walls of the almost completely emptied out space.
‘Hi Henry.’ Your voice tinkles above the low hum of voices and quite instantly I feel my nerves back in my throat. Shit..Now what? What the hell was I even planning on…Damnit …
‘Hi.’ Is all I can manage back, the six men around you now also turning to offer me a warm welcome. And from the looks on their faces, they know full well why I am here. You, however, seems to be a bit clueless, your fingers reaching into one of your friends’ backpacks to fetch some lip balm.
‘Good show, hmm?’ You mumble, brushing the balm over your supple lips. Kissable lips.
‘Sure was.’ I agree. Come on Henry. You’ll have to do better than that! You don’t seem to care though, your attention drifting back to one of your friends, who raises an expecting eyebrow at you.
‘Oh, eh..Henry, you want to join us? We want to go out for some drinks..and some food maybe?’
‘FOOODD.’ One of the guys grabs his beer belly and makes a gesture like he’s been starved for weeks - which is obviously not true. I chuckle. They seem like good guys. And so very normal, which only makes me like you more.
‘I’d love to.’
‘Oh! And I still have to pee.’ One of the more lanky built men intervenes, to which the whole group blurts; ‘Pee-break!’
One pee-break and a short cab drive later,  I have brought you to one of my favourite pubs. Not only because it’s close to my home. Also, because I know the owner and with a blink of my blue eyes I can get us to use the room upstairs, which is usually reserved for exclusive events. Well. Tonight is an exclusive event, okay? The pub is old, mahogany and smelling of good times, the upstairs level reached through a very, VERY steep and very narrow step of stairs. With hands and feet we climb up, finding a low ceiling room, in equally dark and wooden hues. A lone rough table is set up, inviting us to take a seat before an old paned window that lets you look out over the drunken banter below.
In moments there is fish and chips by the bucket load and a few pitchers of beer, which your friends drink from greedily. And, of course, a glass of wine for you. You don’t like the bitter taste of beer. I make a mental note of that.
There’s nothing stuck up about you. You smile so easily, joke so merrily - and did I spot some nerdy references that escaped your lips? With every glass of wine there are more and it makes my whole body thrum with excitement.  Though perhaps that’s also just the beer talking.
Much too soon your friends have to leave to take their late flight back home. The fact that they had flown out here just to celebrate your success after years of hard work, just shows how good a bunch they are. And you are to them. With any other women with male friends, I’d easily pick on ulterior motives. But not with these guys. You go way back. You’re good. Golden. One of the guys. Though, dear god in heaven, am I happy you’re a woman.
Long bear hugs are exchanged between you and your friends as I stand there on the sidewalk, trying to evade the looks and attention of the drunken merry. The night is cold and winter is soon to come, the lot of us huddling in our winter coats as cars pass by, driving through deep puddles. With a last wave we send your friends off into a cab, back to their homes.
And then it’s just us.
‘So..’ You suck your lips in, eyes darting out to send a warning glance at some drunk brits that take a snapshot of us - it happens so often I barely even care about it still. I try to look as gentlemanly as ever, but the pints dance happily in my eyes. I know it from the way your gaze softens when you look back at me. ‘It was a good night.’ You say.
And I half disagree; ‘It IS a good night.’ As soon as I say it, I’m not sure if the drink is making me overly courageous, my arm hesitating to reach out and offer you something to hold onto. You chuckle.
‘You’re right. Especially since it’s not raining. GOOD HEAVENS.’ And with that you slip your hand around the crook of my arm without question. Like it’s the most natural thing to do, your cold fingers feeling like icicles through the wool of my coat. If only I could warm you up properly.
‘And you’re taking a long holiday? Any plans?’ I try to keep easy conversation flowing, referring to something you had mentioned during Graham’s show. I knew you were taking some time off after this movie was all wrapped up. I had been there, working on the same set, so I know how crazy it had been.
‘Yea...it’s been a crazy two years. Which is a long time not to have any holidays.’ You widen your eyes in exasperation as your feet elegantly move around a large puddle.
‘Tell me all about it.’ I sigh. Unfortunately for me, I’m soon to start on yet another production. Which means no holidays for me.
‘But ehm..I actually made zero plans. My whole life was planned out near minute to minute for the past years. I just need to ..get back to basics, you know? Sleep a full 8 hours. Walk. Cook. Take long baths. Maybe..go hiking in the highlands. Or..go to the Bahamas..I’ve never been to the Bahamas! Or…’
‘A right here.’ I interrupt you, sending us into the direction of a small alleyway.
‘Oohh..must I trust you now or is this where I find out you’re a serial killer, Mr. Cavill?’ You tease.
‘Mm..I’m too busy a man to spend my time planning out how to murder people.’
‘Very well Hannibal.’
‘Hahaha..good series.’ - There’s those nerdy references bubbling up again.
’Tis.’ You agree, sighing deeply as the darkness swallows us, leaving the crowded street behind until there’s nothing else but us and the tap of our feet on the cold wet cobble stone. You lean slightly closer to me and I’m glad you do.
‘So..’ You look up at me. ‘Are we mere wanderers or are we heading to mount doom to get rid of some pesky ring?’
I snort laugh. Yep. I definitely snorted. And you laugh merrily in turn. God, you’re cute.
‘I don’t know Sam, I don’t know.’
You grumble softly in playful dissatisfaction. ‘What if I want to be Frodo?’
‘If you so wish to be, fellow over-sized hobbit. Though I think, since you sound like such a well planned, yet easy going lady, you’re a Sam. BESIDES, you say you love to cook and work in the garden..that definitely makes you a Sam.’
‘True, true.’ You hum, the light at the other side of the alley coming closer, your feet suddenly starting to drag. Almost as if you don’t want to get back into the light, where drunk hustle and bustle is about. I stop and you look up at me, head tilting slightly upwards.
‘Say, Frodo. What does a woman do in this town when she doesn’t want to call it a night, yet?’
I pretend to think about it, though my mind knows full well where we could be going now. ‘Depends on what you want to do, Sam.’
‘As much as I’d like an adventure..so cold are my feet. Something indoors, perhaps?’
Exactly what I was planning.
‘I know just the place. Though…it’s..very private, okay?’
‘Are we going to find prancing ponies and kitten heeled Striders there?’ - With that you print this vision in my head of Aragorn in high heels, lurking on a pipe, and it makes me chuckle aloud. You are slightly cheeky too.
‘Mmm..more like large hounds and vast amounts of books, all crammed into a cute little..’
‘It’s your place isn’t it?’
I chuckle. ‘Yea..I live 5 minutes from here.’
‘Okay. But just in case you are considering a career change; please don’t eat me.’
I smile, nudging us to move ahead, our eyes squinting at the bright street light as we return to the land of the living drunk and the hum of stationary engines. As most pubs are closing for the night, everyone tries to grab a cab.
‘Well, looks like I wouldn’t have come home at this hour anyways haha.’ You mumble, our feet jumping over another puddle as we move to yet another alleyway.
We don’t have to take this route. But I like the lack of people. And having you squeezed up against my arm. So maybe it’s not a five minute walk entirely. You thankfully don’t seem to care.
‘You live in London?’
’Not really. Though for work I’m here half of the week. I stay at this cute hostel with THE MOST COMFORTABLE BEDS I have ever slept in. Like. Ugh. It’s fantastic.’
‘And your real home?’
‘Not such a good bed.’
We shouldn’t be talking about beds at this hour, but I suddenly can’t think of anything else to talk about.
‘Well, the best bed I’ve ever slept in is right at home.’
‘Mmm..are you suggesting anything there, Hannibal?’ Where you were clueless about my flirtations whilst we were sitting on Graham’s couch, the message seems to come across quite perfectly now, your eyes glittering with promise.
I act shocked, but we both know better. ‘Never!’ I say, to which we belt out in loud laughter, the sound echoing off the tall buildings at either side of us.
‘Gods, you are cheeky after a few pints hahah.’ You laugh.
‘And you are walking home with a complete stranger.’
‘Naa..I checked your Wikipedia page. So. Not complete stranger. I think it’s actually YOU who’s walking home with a stranger.’
‘Quite so.’
You’re right. We’ve worked together for 3 months on the same set, but I’ve only seen you from afar. In fact, you were kind of my boss. Which would’ve made any advances from my side even weirder. Tonight felt like the first real opportunity, now the project was finished. And here we were. In front of my house.
After a few awkward fumbles I manage to unlock the door, the two of us being welcomed by a sleepy Kal, his wet nose diving head-first into my face.
‘Down boy.’ I grumble, but thankfully you’re not afraid of my large hound, your fingers already racing through his thick fur before I have managed to close the door behind us.
‘Hi baby!! You are SO CUTE! JUST LOOK AT YOU!! And so tired too! You been sleeping, big boy?’
Kal loves you already. And I..?
‘A wine would be good.’ You look up at me as I just stand there staring at you. Shaking myself from my thoughts and awkward nerves, I put our coats away and try to find some decent bottle of red wine. I forgot to ask what kind you like, so I’ll just have to pick whatever. ‘Make yourself comfortable!’ I say aloud, but as I return with a bottle and two glasses I already see you’ve done just that, legs pulled up and that stupid tartan throw wrapped around your legs, Kal getting yet another head scratch from you.
Oh, he loves you a lot.
‘I hope cabernet is alright?’
You laugh and wave it away; ‘Henry. I had 5 glasses of wine. By this point you’d ALMOST get me drinking beer. Almost haha.’
In what seems like a blink of the eye this bottle is finished as well and the world is near spinning when I get up to make us a snack. Which of course is the worst idea ever at like 2..3..4 am? I can’t see quite straight enough anymore and the giddiness in my bones is showing in the most idiotic grins I’ve probably ever had on my cheeks. My face is going to hurt tomorrow. From laughing, that is.
As I haphazardly decide I should first ask what you want to eat, I suddenly find the long despised throw of my ex earning a much welcomed new, far sweeter memory. In the deep soft pillows of the couch, there you lie. Knocked out asleep, fingers still trailing through Kal’s fur, his head not daring to move as I look the pupper in the eye.
‘Well..’ 
I can’t send you home like this. And so, with a dangerous wobble in my inebriated knees, I tuck you in, the smooth wool warm as it moves beneath my fingertips.
For just a moment I wonder if I should put you in my bed, so I’ll sleep on the couch. But you’re laying so comfortably, that I’m afraid I’ll wake you..and then you’ll probably leave. I don’t want you to leave. Yes. I should have you stay. I..eh…
Blinking I look around the room, deciding how I should keep you to at least stay for breakfast. I don’t want this to be the last time I see you, you know? And so I grab for some paper and a pen, my handwriting not what it should be.
“Good morning, Sunshine. In case the drinks were too many; the dog’s name is Kal. Don’t worry about him. And I’m upstairs. Feel free to grab anything you like. Also. In exchange for a couch..how about we have breakfast, together? Henry.”
Waking up was like thinking everything was a dream. A very drunken dream. My head was screaming for water and sleep, but I couldn’t stop myself from racing downstairs first, only to find you were still asleep. Just where I left you. It was only after I started cracking up my cooking skills (cheesy eggs with toast), that you woke up. Large yawns were heard from the couch-area, before you groggily walked into the kitchen, hair in disarray and just perfect in my humble opinion.
‘Mmmoo- *yawn* -orning.’ You bring out, hands rubbing over your eyes.
‘Hi.’
You are so cute. 
And then you step in closer, eyeing my cooking, your scent and body so close, I wish we were at the point that I could grab you into a hug, delve my nose into your hair.
‘Sleep well?’ I ask with a crooked smile, your face nodding but your body saying: I need more sleep, for the love of the gods.
After breakfast you quirk up, that cute smirk back on your lips as you lick them in satisfaction.
‘That’s some fine cooking there Frodo.’
‘Thanks Sam.’
‘And a couch that makes a close second to the hostel’s bed.’
‘HAhaha..oh..yes. I was not sure what to do. Wake you up? Put you in my bed? I mean..a lot of..options.’ I trail off as your smile grows. 
‘..I’m so sorry for putting you in that position, Henry. And also, apologies for falling asleep as you were just about to make a snack. Its typical me; midnight snack-time? I fall asleep.’
‘Well, it’s your holidays. You can sleep all you want’
‘So it is.’ You fold your fingers around your hot cup of tea - no sugar, no milk. I make a mental note of that too.  
With curious eyes you watch me sit across you, the kitchen table suddenly feeling too large, too wide. I want to be closer to you. Snuggle up to you. You look so snuggable.
‘Any plans for today?’ You inquire lightly.
And that’s when it clicks. I could keep you around a little longer, maybe? De-hangover together, maybe?
‘Want to stay for a bit?’ I ask, hope sparking in the swallow of my nervous throat.
‘Sure.’
I think that’s what I like the most about you. It’s easy. Natural. No hassle. No hunt. Though I would have hunted you, if that is what it would have taken.
Now I’m sitting here on the couch and you’ve just gone back to your hostel. I mean, I get it. We’ve been together for nearly 24 hours. When we’re not even..like..more than strangers. For a moment I wondered if I should kiss you, after we walked Kal, our hands interlinked - which also felt so very normal.
The more glad I was when you did it for me.
You kissed me.
Those sweet chapped lips on mine. 
I sink further into the couch and sigh. I like you a lot my sweet Sam.
--
(Link to my Masterlist)
General Tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss @tumblnewby @magdelen69 @thereisa8ella @mary-ann84 @darkbooksarwin @summersong69 @madbaddic7ed @luclittlepond @maroonmolly
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buckyscrystalqueen · 4 years
Text
Meant To Be: Part 9
Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, drug use, cheating
Word Count: 5,975
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You woke up one morning two weeks after being back in the States with a familiar, uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. 
“He’s cheating on me.” You said to Sawyer when she finally came down to make a cup of coffee before she headed out back to the pool to edit a new book for the day.
“He’s not cheating.” She said as she glanced over at you as you served Gage his breakfast.
“Soy, I know this feeling. I have felt this feeling before. He’s cheating.”
“Sweetheart, just breathe. He’s not cheating on you, he’s just doing shows...”
“No...” You interrupted with a shake of your head. “No, see I know this man. I know this man so well, that I can see the signs before he even realizes he’s making the moves.”
“OK, so what are the signs?” She asked as she leaned against the counter and took a sip of her coffee. You hesitated for a moment, before simply scowling and looking over at her.
“I’m not crazy here.” You snapped. “I know that man better than I know myself. And I know he’s slept with some one else or he’s going to tonight. I can feel it to my core...”
“OK, did you try calling him?”
“Six times since I woke up.” You said with a nod as you made yourself a bowl of cereal. “No answer, no text back. He never misses his morning call...”
“OK, let me call JP and see...”
“There’s no point.” You said with a shake of your head. “If I have this feeling now, it means I’m already too late. And besides that, it’s almost concert time there, so he won’t answer.”
“(Y/N), are you sure it’s not just a pregnancy thing? Maybe?”
“No.” You sighed with a shake of your head. “Every single time this man has cheated on me, I knew.” With a shake of your head, you looked over at her with a hint of tears in your eyes. “I’m not crazy.”
“No, sweetie, I believe you.” She said with a nod as she stepped over and pulled you into a hug. “We’ll figure it out, OK?” With a nod, you started to cry for a moment, before pulling back to control yourself.
“Four hours.” You told her with a sniffle. “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that within the next four hours, I’ll have my answer.”
“Hun, let me text Rook...”
“Don’t you dare.” You interrupted. “If that man can’t keep a fucking promise himself without having someone else breathing down his neck about it, then he can make and sleep in his own fucking bed about it.”
“OK. I won’t text Rook. But try not to obsess about it, sweets. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“We’ll see.” You huffed as you turned to start eating your own breakfast. “We’ll just wait and see.”
“And pray for the best.” She added as she picked up her manuscript off the counter to get some work done while you both waited. You did your best to try and distract yourself for the better part of the morning, but you still religiously checked your Instagram, waiting for the backstage videos you knew the guys always posted to their stories to appear to find what you were looking for. Baze was the first one to deliver, and boy did he deliver.
“I told you.” You said to Sawyer as you walked out to the patio with your phone in your hand. She looked up from her work at the live video with her brow furrowed.
“What am I... oh.” She said as Baze turned to left, giving you both a crystal clear shot of Kels leading some blonde woman neither of you knew out of the green room by the hand. “Holy shit. Wait, this is live.”
“I told you.” You said as you took your phone back with a shake of your head. “I know this feeling. I know this man like the back of my Goddamn hand.”
“Wait, let me call Rook.”
“Don’t bother.” You replied as you turned to head back inside. “I’m going house hunting, you coming?”
“Wait... shit.” She groaned as she threw her pens in the manuscript and jumped up to chase after you. “Are you serious?”
“I told him I wasn’t playing fucking games this time.” You said as you picked up your packed diaper bag, and your son, who you had already gotten dressed and ready to go because you knew this was going to happen, whether people believed you or not. “I’m not doing this to my kids. He can get fucked for all I care now.”
“OK, well wait for me to change at least.” She said as she dashed over to the stairs.
“We’ll be in the car.” You told her as you unlocked the front door. “We have an appointment with a realtor in an hour.” The hour was more than enough time for the three of you to make it to your realtor’s office so she could help you find a nice, move in ready house to rent, and the appointment was timed perfectly so you could make the FaceTime call that put the nail in the coffin of your relationship as well.
“Hey...” Colson panted when he finally answered the call as he pushed his hair back out of his face. “Sorry, it’s been a crazy day. You OK?”
“Show me your room.” You said evenly.
“What?” He asked as panic raced across his blue eyes. “Babe, I’m trying to sleep.”
“Bullshit, Colson.” You interrupted as he got up and quickly headed over to the bathroom. “Room, now.”
“I gotta pee.” He lied.
“Show me your Goddamn room!” You screamed a few seconds before the half dressed blonde dashed across the background and out the hotel room door. “And there it is.” You huffed and shook your head as he quickly tried to explain, while Sawyer looked absolutely stunned beside you.
“Babe, it’s not...”
“I’m done, Kels.” You said evenly. “We’re done.”
“(Y/N), it’s not what...” He started as you hung up the phone and put his calls on silent.
“How did you know that?“ Your friend asked as she looked over at you in disbelief.
“Because I know everything.” You said as you made your next phone call before your appointment time. “Junior. Shut up, I need a huge favor, but you can’t tell dad, and I will pay for everything.”
“Oh, shit.” Your brother sighed through the speaker. “What, you in jail again?”
“I need you and a few friends to come out to California to help me move. Today. Like next flight out, today.” You sighed as tears started falling down your cheeks. “I need... I need my brother...”
“OK, I’m coming.” He said with zero hesitation simply because of the shift in your tone. “I’m coming right now.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I told you not to tell dad.”
“I had to tell dad.” Junior said as he headed in to your old house later that afternoon to finish packing up your things and get the boxes you couldn’t move into a rented U Haul. “Had to take off work last minute.”
“And you’re crazy if you think I wasn’t going to come rescue my daughter.” Ross finished as he stepped inside beside your sister and her husband to say hi. “You may not think to highly of me, but you’re still my kid.”
“You didn’t tell mom, right?”
“No one’s talked to mom since she took you to court.” Tabby said as she kissed your cheek. “Thanks for letting us know about that, by the way.”
“Figured y’all would side with her.” You confessed honestly.
“Alright, what’s going, and where is it going?” Junior asked as he looked around the down stairs.
“Any cardboard box or tote that you see out is going.” You instructed with a sniffle. “There’s some more upstairs, and all the furniture from Gage’s room that I’m taking with me, but I still have more to pack...”
“Alright, boys. Get these boxes outta here.” Ross instructed as he looked at Tabby. “You go help your sister.”
“There’s two boxes in the kitchen marked with giant F’s that are fragile and food.” You called out as you headed upstairs. “Those can go in my car with that big cooler!”
“Is he coming back soon?” Tabby asked as she followed you up.
“No idea.” You sighed as you walked into your room, where Sawyer was packing up your bathroom stuff for you while keeping an eye on your napping son in your bed. “We haven’t heard anything from our inside man about him canceling any shows, so my guess is no.”
“But my boyfriend and I are both stuck between a rock and a hard place here.” Sawyer called out as she set the bathroom box on the floor by your bed. “I’m not allowed to tell him she’s moving out until she’s completely moved out, and he is probably not allowed to tell me if and when he’s coming home.”
“Still sorry about that.” You said as you dumped arm fulls of clothes into a box from your dresser drawers with your sister.
“I know.” Your friend said as she moved on to the closet. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you fucking called this shit before it happened.”
“Oh, she’s done that since she was a kid.” Tabby chimed in as she packed the jewelry off the top of the dresser in pairs of socks so it wouldn’t get lost. “She knew my dad was seeing someone before anyone else. She knew my first boyfriend was going to be abusive before he even hit me the first time. She knew when I met my husband that he was the one and same with Junior’s fiancée. She’s the relationship crystal ball.”
“That’s wild!”
“Yea, not so much fun when you know the father of your kids is going to cheat on you... again. Nor when I can’t fucking see that he’s just a piece of shit douche bag time after time…” You muttered as you pushed the next full box toward the door. “And he fucking knows I can feel that shit too, yet he still thinks he slick.”
“Well he’s just a dummy.” Tabby said with a quick nod as she looked around the room. “What next?”
“Gage’s room is the last thing.” You said as you pointed out of the room at the nursery door. “Everything is going. The letters on the walls, the cameras, the lamps. Everything. Wait, take boxes.” You said as you kicked a stack of totes in her direction. She grabbed the totes and headed out as you went over with an empty box to clean out your bedside table and all the other nicknacks you had out in the room.
“Who was she?”
“Oh.” You gasped as you looked over your shoulder. “That’s my sister, Tabby. My dad’s downstairs too, which is really interesting, since I’ve always figured they wanted nothing to do with me.”
“Family steps up in weird ways, at weird times.” Your friend said as she closed the second closet box and pushed it into the middle of the room. “I’ll go help her.” It took your little tribe only forty-five minutes to clean all of your stuff out of Colson’s place, and only twenty minutes to unpack just the boxes from your storage unit. You hated that you’d have to replace all of the furniture in there, but even after a year, it still reeked of cigarette smoke, and had various sized burn holes you hadn’t paid much attention to when you packed it up originally. It took even less time to unpack everything at your new place since there was no real furniture to move yet, and you were just finishing up when the half dozen pizzas you got as a thank you for the guy’s help were delivered to your door.
“What are you gunna do ‘bout furniture, kiddo?” Your dad asked as he looked around the open concept kitchen and living room.
“I’ll deal with it tomorrow.” You sighed with a shake of your head. “Go to a hotel or something tonight.”
“OK, well then I’ll call the U Haul place and book the truck an extra day, and then the hotel we’re at and get you a room with my points.”
“Dad, no.”
“Hush.” He said as he looked down at his grandson, who was pulling at his jean leg to show him a toy. “Wat’cha got there, kiddo? A truck?! Does the truck go ‘vroom vroom’?” You smiled at your old man as he sat down on the floor with a giant smile you hadn’t seen in years to play with his first grandson and one of the toys Gage had pulled out of one of his totes.
“You can tell Rook.” You said softly as you looked over at Soy. “Just tell him his kids are safe.”
“OK.” She nearly whispered as she picked up her cell phone to step out to make the call. “I’m really sorry, (Y/N).”
“So am I.” You sighed as you walked over to the nearest box to start unpacking your life once again as tears fell slowly down your cheeks.
“Come on, boys. Work’s not done yet.” Junior said when he saw what you were doing as he set his crust down on his plate and wiped his hands off on his jeans. “Kitchen first.”
——
“We’re goin’ to the Costco…” Your dad announced early the next morning when you opened your hotel room door with a scowl on your face.
“Daddy, it’s five-thirty in the fucking morning. Costco don’t open until nine.”
“And we’re goin’ to the Walmart.” He finished with a nod. “Get your things, you’re wasting daylight. Breakfast is gettin’ served, and the boys are gettin’ rowdy…”
“OK, OK.” You sighed, knowing that he would just keep talking about absolutely nothing until you did what you were told. “Let me wake up the kid and get dressed.”
“Be ready in twenty minutes.” He said as he turned to continue his wake up visits. “Got a lot to do today.”
“Of course we do.” You huffed as you closed the door behind you with a shake of your head. You got yourself ready as fast as you could, letting Gage get as much sleep as you could until you had to get him up. You were shocked that he woke up on the right side of the bed, and was in a very happy mood. His infectious smile and adorable laugh brightened your morning, and reminded you just why you were in the situation you found yourself in. You were just putting him in his stroller with your diaper bag on your shoulder, when your dad knocked on your door again.
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” You huffed as you snapped the tray in place and unlocked the breaks. You grabbed your phone, that had dozens of missed calls and texts on it, and threw it and your room key into your bag on your way out the door. “You are so impatient, old man.”
“You were getting up this early for the farm.” He said as the two of you led the group to the elevators. “This is the time you should always start your day.”
“He called me to try to wake me up at two thirty.” Junior complained with a shake of his head. “We were still drinking at two thirty.”
“Where the hell did you go drinking at?” You asked as you looked over at him.
“At Ope’s…” He said slowly as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. “Where we stayed last night…”
“Where the fuck is Ope’s?”
“I’m Ope. Well, I’m Opie.” A very tall man behind you said, which made you turn around to look at him. You double took at the familiar face, and tried to find it in your mind as your brow furrowed.
“Wait, I know you…”
“I would hope so.” He laughed. “I’ve been friends with your brother since we were all kids.”
“No, that’s not it.” You said with a shake of your head as you turned toward him a little more. “I know you from here. From LA.”
“I would hope so.” He laughed even harder with a nod. “I was your photographer for Penthouse for the last year you were working.” Your face dropped and completely paled as he swiped his hand at you. “Don’t worry about it. You were pretty fucked up back then, and dealing with your ex’s shit on a regular basis so I don’t take it personally.”
“Oh, my God. I am so, so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” He chuckled as he pat your shoulder. “Really, it is.”
“I’m sober now.” You clarified even though you knew you didn’t have to. “Two years or something like that.”
“Good for you.” He said as he glanced over at you with a smile. “I was always hoping you’d get there. Watching you head toward rock bottom was kinda scary.”
“Scarier to live it, I promise.” You said as you dropped your diaper bag on a long table by the hotel’s buffet and parked the stroller where you’d be able to see your son.
“Oh, I bet. But thank God you made it out on the other side.”
“I more thank God Gage made it out on the other side alive and healthy after my OD.” You said as you started the automatic pancake machine and grabbed some scrambled eggs first to cool them down for your son. “Wait, so how in the hell did you get into photography? And did I even recognize you back then, or am I just that shitty of a person?”
“Oh, you’re just that shitty of a person.” He teased as he worked around you to make his own breakfast. “You looked right past me.”
“OK, you’re rude!” You laughed as you whacked his hand as he reached for the bacon tongs. “No, you don’t get any now.”
“Girl, I dare you to try.” He shot back as he lightly body checked you out of the way. “Stand in the way of a man and his bacon. You’re the rude one!”
“Hey, quit!” You laughed as you wrestled him for the tongs. “You are standing between a pregnant woman and bacon! Quit it! I know your mother!”
“Your sister just doesn’t know how to be single, does she?” Your dad asked Tabby as he sat down with his coffee and oatmeal, like he did every morning.
“Has she ever?” She asked as she sipped on her coffee and waited for her turn at the currently crowded buffet.
“Least he’s home grown.” Ross said with a shrug. “Better than that asshole she was seeing.”
“They’re not gunna get together.” Junior said over your loud laugh as he sat down at the table with his two full plates.
“Twenty bucks says you’re wrong.” Tabby said under her breath as you and Opie came over to eat and feed Gage.
“Deal.”
——
“OK, y’all need to stop.” “No seriously, quit.” “OK, I don’t need to decorate, Tabitha!” “Guys, my towels are perfectly fine.” “I swear to fucking God.”
“When you gunna learn, (Y/N)?” Junior asked as your group stood in line with carts of food, spices, towels, toys, “proper clothes” for you and Gage, and other things deemed ‘necessities’ by your family.
“Each one of you had a college fund.” Ross said as he unloaded the second of three carts onto the conveyer belt. “None of ya went to college, so your sister got hers when she got married and bought a house, Junior got his when he bought a house, you’re getting yours when you need it. But I swear to the Lord above, child.” He said as he stopped and looked up at you with a point of his finger. “Do not abuse this generosity. This is for my grandchildren to have a good life, and for you to raise them up proper. You take care of this stuff, you hear me? Don’t you go back to that man and just throw this shit in storage. All he’s ever done is hurt you anyways; I don’t care what he’s done good otherwise. All three’a ya deserve better.”
“Yes sir.” You said with a nod as you put your hand on your bump. “I understand.”
“You better.” He said with a nod of his head as he went back to what he was doing as your brother snickered silently behind his back. “Or you can deal with Anne and hear all about how I’m just pissing my hard earned money away.”
“Dad, why are you starting fights with the woman that already hates me?” You sighed as you grabbed a stuffed bunny rabbit from Gage before he threw it again to get Tabby’s attention behind you.
“Because you are my child.” He said as he stood up straight and looked at you seriously. “And my children will always come first. You remember that, you hear me?”
“That’s why we are where we are.” You said as you looked down at your son and ran your hand across the back of his head. “For them.”
“Then we keep going.” He said with a nod as he went back to work. You shook your head at him and leaned down to kiss your son’s head as a selfless love you hadn’t felt in a long, long time washed over.
“I love you, Dad.” You said softly as you pushed your cart up for him to unload. “Thank you.” He nodded his head as he looked up at you for a single, priceless moment. 
“Love you too. Gage Michael, don’t you throw that rabbit at your aunt!”
“Child, I swear to God.” You groaned as you took the rabbit from him, causing your first of many early morning tantrums so you could pay for his new favorite toy. “You’re going to kill me one of these days.”
“That’s what I said about you, too.” Your dad huffed as he took the tags off the bunny and passed it back to you. “And yet I’m still standing here breathing.”
“Shut up, Dad.” You laughed with a shake of your head.
——
“You calling to say good night to your son?” You asked when you finally answered your phone later that night. “Because we are not speaking right now.”
“What the fuck, bitch?!” Colson roared as you put together a baby gate at the top of one of the stairs in the interesting split level house that had too much personality for you to pass up on. “Where’s my fucking son?!”
“He’s um…” You said as you looked up across the split staircase at your master bedroom, and then the general area of the room that was now designated as the nursery for the baby on the way, the bathroom that room shared with Gage’s, and finally his room and the laundry room behind you, most of which was behind a wall. You knew exactly where he was since you could hear him watching a movie with your sister in your room while your dad and brother set up his room and Opie and Tabby’s husband, Mike set up the nursery furniture for you, but you shrugged your shoulders and went back to doing your share of the work. “I don’t know. I think he took my keys, though. Try Mexico…?”
“Dude, I swear to fuck, I will call the mother fucking cops.” 
“Fucking chill, he’s watching Thomas the train with my sister.”
“No, where… the fuck… is my child?!” He repeated. “Because he sure as fuck isn’t in my fucking house where’s he’s fucking supposed to be!”
“Nope. He’s in mine.” You said as you tightened the last zip tie so you wouldn’t leave marks on the banisters, and checked that the gate swung open, closed, and locked the way it was supposed to like the one on the other side, and the one at the bottom of the stairs did.
“Babe, why the fuck did you move out?!” He asked as you picked up your cell phone to head to your room to grab the outlet covers to put in downstairs in the living room, dining room, and kitchen next.
“Because you fucking cheated on me!” You screamed as you stopped just outside the door. “Yet again! And I told you that I wasn’t playing that fucking game this time. So we’re done. And we’re done for good. Now, do you want to say good night to your son, or are we just gunna try this again tomorrow?” You watched him fight his demons on whether he wanted to keep fighting with you, or see his son, but he knew you well enough to know that if he tried, you would hang up the phone and go back to ignoring him again.
“Where’s my son?” With a nod of your head, you walked into your room and smiled at your child.
“Hey, Gage. Look, it’s Daddy!”
“Hey buddy!” He cooed, and being on the other side of the screen, you could hear the regret in his voice as his new reality washed over him with the flash of your new bedroom. “You being good for Mommy, huh? Yea. Hey Tabby.”
“Colson.” Your sister said as she picked up a single Cheerio and ate it with a distasteful look on toward him on her face.
“I miss you little man. I miss you a whole lot. And Daddy’s coming home real soon to come see you and Mommy.”
“Mommy has plans.” You said as you did your bedroom and bathroom with the outlet covers first since you were there.
“I’ll be home in a couple days, buddy.” He sighed. “And Daddy loves you so much.”
“Can you say bye bye?” You asked as you pushed a cover into an outlet and turned to get your phone. “Say bye bye to Daddy. Uncle Junior probably has your bed set up by now.”
“Wait, can you just…” Colson said as you reached out to hang up. “Babe, just wait…”
“Colson, I can’t.” You said as you picked up the phone. “Don’t call me unless it’s to say good morning or good night to Gage. We can talk when you get done sleeping with road sluts.”
“Babe…”
“Good bye, Kels.” You sighed as tears welled in your eyes, and you quickly hung up the phone before he could see you cry.
“Here, I’ll do the outlets up here.” Tabby said as she got up off the bed with a small smile. “You watch the movie for a bit.”
“Thanks, Tab.” You sniffled as you climbed on the bed next to your little boy, who was so enthralled with the show he hadn’t even noticed you had hung up with his dad. “We’re gunna be OK, baby boy.” You told him softly as you pulled him into your arms with silent tears falling down your face. “I promised you. We’re gunna be OK.”
——
You didn’t immediately recognize the black pick up in your drive way when you came back from the airport the next afternoon, but the fading UNC sticker on the bumper made you smile and gave you your answer as you pulled into your drive way beside it. Opie glanced over from his phone and took one more drag of his cigarette before putting it out on the bottom of his flip flop as you got out of the car.
“So I found a box in the back seat of my car.” He said with a giant smirk as he left the cigarette butt on the tire of his truck on his way to the passenger side. “Missing some panties?”
“So you’re the reason I’m going commando today.” You laughed as you pulled your sleeping son out of the back. You stopped in front of him to glance in the box he was holding as you adjusted the strap of your diaper bag on your shoulder, before looking up into his brown eyes. “Well, looks like you can officially say you got into my panties a lot quicker than most.”
“First of all, wow.” He laughed as his face flushed behind his beard the slightest bit. “But secondly, I also saw you in your panties long before anyone else did. Or have you forgotten the many adventures of drunken (Y/N) at your brother’s middle school graduation party?”
“Listen, swimming in your underwear is never a bad idea.” You laughed as you locked up your car and headed inside. “And I wasn’t drunk, I was perfectly coherent, thank you.”
“Sweetheart, we were all drunk.” He chuckled. “We were just kids.”
“And for some reason, my father thought it’d be a good idea to leave us all alone that night.” You sighed with a shake of her head. “Thank God for Anne in that situation alone.”
“I’d have to agree with you there. Where do you want this?”
“Just leave it by the stairs. I’ll carry it up later...”
“I got it.” He said as he opened the baby gate. “On your bed?”
“Perfect.” You said as you laid Gage down in his pack and play so he’d keep napping a while longer.
“So what are your plans for the rest of the afternoon?” Ope asked as he came back down stairs. You sighed loudly as you kicked off your shoes and sat down on your sectional couch.
“I guess I have to find a job.” You breathed as you ran your fingers through your hair. “Don’t know what the hell a pregnant, ex junkie, ex model is gunna do for work...”
“Call your agent.” He said as he leaned over the back of the other side of the couch. “Tell him to get you into a TV show role or something. They’re always looking for people.”
“Oh, yay. I can be that kind of celebrity now.” You laughed as you turned and laid down to get comfortable. “You hanging out, or you got some place to be?”
“I can hang a bit.” He said as he stood up straight and came around the couch to sit down on the opposite side. “I just figured you’d wanna nap... oh. That’s a nice fucking couch.”
“Shoes off if you’re napping too then.” You giggled as you rolled onto your side and found a comfortable spot. “It’s a really nice fucking couch.”
“Oh, I could get used to this.” He said as he put his shoes under the coffee table and laid down completely, easily taking up the entire right side with his six foot four frame.
“Spots available, apply within.” You sighed as you closed your eyes for a moment. “Quit touching me.”
“I’m not touching you.” He said as he purposely hit your foot with his shin as he got comfortable himself. “You’re in my space.”
“Oh, get out.” You laughed as you opened your eyes to look at him with a smile. He smirked back and propped himself up on his hand.
“I have to say, I’m really fucking glad to see you smiling again. It got really scary there for a while.”
“How’d you get into photography in the first place?” You asked as you pulled out a blanket from the shelf under the coffee table and tossed it over to him before grabbing one for yourself.
“I’ve always been into it.” He said with a shrug as he tossed the blanket down his legs as far as it would go. “It’s what I went to college for. I just managed to get lucky with my portfolio when I got out here. You remember KaceyJo? She was in your grade?”
“Didn’t y’all get married?”
“Divorced about five years ago.” He said with a nod. “But she did a lot of modeling for me around town when we were married. So I had a portfolio full of awesome Smoky Mountain views and her in various poses in those shots. So I stood out.”
“Probably helps that you’re a hot, bearded giant that could rock a man bun for days.” You pointed out with a small grin. “But I may be harboring an old school girl crush.”
“You had a crush on me?” He asked as he sat up the slightest bit. “How the fuck did I not know that?”
“Because I told Tabby I’d break her snow globe collection if she told anyone. She was the only person that knew. Dude, why else would I go swimming in my underwear in front of Junior?!”
“Wow.” He huffed with a shake of his head. “The things you learn years later at reunions. Well, now you kinda have an answer on why I worked my way to Penthouse for a year.”
“What, for me?”
“You weren’t the only one with a crush back then.” He said with a shrug. “I just told Junior that I’d tell Laura about that night he spend with Molly when they first got together if he ratted me out and he told me you were forever off limits.”
“Oh, good old skanky Molly. Wonder whatever happened to her.”
“Slept her way up Wall Street last I heard.”
“Par for the course.” He nodded his head in agreement as he took his keys and phone out of his shorts pocket and put them and his bandana on the coffee table. “I’m really sorry, Ope.”
“Don’t be, sweetheart.” He said as he brushed his toes against your ankle for comfort. “I saw how toxic he was for you. He fed into that shit so bad, I wanted to knock his ass out every time he came to set. And you were so far in the rabbit hole, only God could get you out at that point. So I did what my church going upbringing told me to. I prayed. First time in a decade at least, but fuck if I didn’t try. Only thing I could do after you threw a bottle of tequila at my face for trying to talk to you.” You groaned and turned cherry red as you tried to cover your face with a blanket, but he chuckled and leaned over enough to grab the material to pull it away. 
“It’s OK.” He reassured as you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “I don’t blame you. We all go through rough patches in life, it’s what we do after hitting rock bottom that matters. I went through some shit when KaceyJo and I split up. Got in a few bar fights, got arrested, had to do anger management, lost my job. But I’m better off now. Got a good job, got friends... you became a mother, and you’ve got a roof over their heads, and you’re taking steps to do the best you can by them now. That’s what matters now. Not what you did two years ago. What you’re doing right now.” With a nod of your head, you started to cry, and Opie got up and came over to your side of the couch to lay down in front of you.
“I’m sorry.” You choked as you scooted back for him so he could wrap you in his arms.
“It’s OK, sweetheart.” He said softly as he rubbed your back. “I forgive you. I forgive you for everything.” You shook your head the slightest bit and gently held on to his shirt while he laid with you wordlessly to let you feel every emotion you had about your time as an addict since you got sober that you hadn’t been able to do with Colson until you cried yourself to sleep in the safety of an old friend’s arms.
Part 10
19 notes · View notes
matchkaa · 3 years
Text
Writing Prompts Fluff
1. “Hey–what’re you hiding behind your back?”
2. “Your smile doesn’t just light up a room–it lights up the world.”
3. “All I care about is you.”
4. “God, your eyes are so gorgeous.”
5. “Why are you embarrassed? You’re beautiful, don’t you see that?”
6. “I told you not to trust me in the kitchen! Now it’s going to reek of pasta sauce forever.”
7. “Let’s just stay here–I don’t ever want to move.”
8. “Don’t you dare give me those sex eyes right now! This is a serious situation, here!”
9. “Can you please go sit in another room or something? I can’t concentrate with you around.”
10. “Let me in, please.”
11. “I had a nightmare . . . can I stay with you tonight?”
12. “God, I’m so glad you’re alright.”
13. “Please help–there’s a spider on the wall outside my room and it won’t let me leave.”
14. “Dude–why the hell are you in my room?”
15. “Were you watching me sleep? . . . That’s kinda creepy. But, you’re cute, so I’ll forgive you.”
16. “Ohmygod, I’m in love with an adult man-child.”
17. “I get that you’re taller than me, but does that really require you to steal all the blankets? I’m cold.”
18. “I wanna cuddle but if I touch you I might not be able to stop.”
19. “How did someone like me be lucky enough to end up with someone like you?”
20. “Hey–my eyes are up here, you perv. No, I don’t care that we’re dating–it’s still rude.”
21. “Whoever loses this match has to do the dishes.”
22. “Ugh, do you ever even try cleaning up after yourself? You’re such a slob!”
23. “Why do you always smell so good?”
24. “Uh–why am I wearing your shirt? I think it looks good on me?”
25. “Call me as soon as you get home, okay?”
26. “Hold my hand.”
27. “C’mon–I don’t bite. Not unless you want me to, that is.”
28. “Why are you staring at me like that? It’s just a swimsuit, geez.”
29. “Uh . . . how long were you standing there?”
30. “Don’t judge me–you’re the one who sings Disney songs in the shower!”
31. “You make some really cute noises in your sleep, did you know that?”
32. “I heard you say my name in your sleep.”
33. “Here, lay down. I’ll stay until you feel safe enough for me to go.”
34. “Dude–did you really just throw salt at me? I’m not possessed!”
35. “You’re too good for me.”
36. “Hey–it’s okay. I’m here; I’m safe. And fine–see? Everything’s alright now.”
37. “Ow! What did I do this time?!”
38. “You may be a jerk, but you’re my jerk.”
39. “Stop wandering off! I keep thinking you’ve gotten abducted or something. I swear I’ll put you on a kiddie leash. Don’t tempt me.”
40. “It’s 4am . . . why the hell are you in the closet with a butcher knife? … Right. Well, no more scary movie marathons for you.”
41. “I love you and all, but you’re really stretching your luck right now.”
42. “Aw, c’mon! It’ll be fun; I promise!”
43. “Are you seriously still listening to this song? I was gone for four hours!”
44. “Ohmygod, stop! You’re going to make me pee myself!”
45. “I’m sorry I annoy you . . . but at least I’m cute, right?”
46. “Why are you mad at me? You’re the one who almost stabbed me! I don’t care that I snuck up on you; I almost died!”
47. “That’s it–no more Netflix for you.”
48. “But it’s so cute! … So what if I’m allergic–what does that have to do with anything?”
49. “I will murder you… . Softly. With lots of kisses.”
50. “Ack! Dude–your feet are freezing, keep them away from me!”
51. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, you understand?”
52. “You really think I’m beautiful?”
53. “Are you jealous? That’s cute.”
54. “There’s only a handful of people in this world that I actually like. You may or may not be one of them.”
55. “So–uh, I’m not really good at this, but … I think I like you . . . like you.”
56. “You seriously need to stop watching sad dog commercials at 3am. You’re an absolute mess; this is ridiculous!”
57. “Hey–don’t you sass me! That’s my job around here!”
58. “If you don’t get away from me with that horrid little creature, I will throat punch you.”
59. “You really have to question me? … So what if I lied? That was one time!”
60. “Oh, God. We broke it–dude, he’s gonna be so pissed! This is all your fault–it was your idea!”
61. “… Is that my underwear?”
62. “I overall hate the human race, but you aren’t too horrible; bearable, at least.”
63. “I didn’t mean to scare you–I thought you’d like being surprised!”
64. “You’re cute, I’ll give you that. But not cute enough to get away with that.”
65. “Look–I hate to tell you, but you deserve the truth… . Your cooking almost killed me last night.”
66. “This is the part where you ask me out and I say yes.”
67. “Really? You made me drive all the way back here just to kill a fucking bug?”
68. “We should get matching tattoos–wouldn’t that be cute?”
69. “Oh, God. We’re one of those couples, aren’t we? Ugh–I hate us!”
70. “I got you something! I remember you mentioning it before … I hope you like it.”
71. “Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.”
72. “I get that you were trying to be romantic, but you nearly burned the house down!”
73. “I may be short, but you could at least try to make kissing you easier!”
74. “I’ve never felt safer than I do in your arms.”
75. “We may be soulmates, but that does not mean you can just waltz in here like you own the place! I could have been naked, or something!”
76. “Oh–this is far from over. I’m going to prank you back so hard you won’t even know what hit you!”
77. “Here–can you put sunscreen on my back for me? Don’t be weird about it!”
78. “I need you. Please, stay.”
79. “Promise me you’ll never leave me. I don’t care if you have to lie.”
80. “Dance with me! C’mon, it’ll be fun!”
81. “What? Oh–I’m sorry, does this outfit bother you?”
82. “If you don’t start getting undressed I may just rip your shirt in half.”
83. “Here–let me show you how to hold that thing before you hurt yourself… Like this, see? It’s easy.”
84. “I may love you, but I will kick your ass if you tempt me to.”
85. “Why are you always right? It’s not fair.”
86. “I have no idea what you just said, but I could listen to you all day.”
87. “What? Sorry–I didn’t hear you. I was too busy getting lost in your eyes… Ow! What?! I was just trying to seduce you!”
88. “You know you don’t have to try so hard with me, right?”
89. “Relax–it’s just me! Not an axe murderer, I promise!”
90. “Did you seriously just climb through my window?”
91. “So, I tried making dinner … keyword there is tried. Let’s just say it didn’t end well, so we’re having takeout tonight.”
92. “Yep–no, you’re never touching the laundry again. You ruined my favourite sweater and nearly flooded the house. Never again.”
93. “Hey–I accidentally cut my hand, I think I need to go to the hospital. Can you drive me? … Why are you looking at me like that? There’s not even that much blood!”
94. “I have something to show you; I think you’ll like it.”
95. “I love you. Never forget that, okay?”
96. “You’re so beautiful words can’t even do you justice.”
97. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how short or long that is.”
98. “Hey–I’m perfectly average height for my age, thank you very much. You’re the one who’s freakishly tall!”
99. “I’ll catch you–trust me! … So I dropped you one time–we don’t have the time to argue about this!”
100. “I won’t forget just how big of a douche you were, but I may just be able to find it within myself to forgive you.”
FROM @just-another-prompt-blog
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simsadventures · 5 years
Text
After All: Chapter 12: Mission Calls
Summary: You go on another date with Bucky, but then he has to go on a mission.
Warnings: fluff, swearing, implied angst (just wait and see, you’ll understand) 
Word Count: 2650
A/N: I’m so happy you guys like this story so far. Hope you won’t stone me to death after this one. Love y’all.
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Series Masterlist __ Masterlist
< Previous Chapter
To get up the next morning after a night full of laughter and relax was a challenge. Even more so when there was a heavy arm draped around your torso, making your body unbearably hot. You tried to shimmy away, to the colder part of the bed, but the arm stretched and pulled you back, even further to the warm body.
You huffed out and tried to get up, but the freaking arm gripped you and didn’t want to let go. “Stop moving so much, some of us are trying to sleep here.” Bucky mulled from behind you, his eyes still closed. “You’re too hot, Buck! Let me go!”
He chuckled slightly. “Too hot, huh? You make it sound like a bad thing. I’m glad I make your knees go weak when you see me,” he whispered and pulled you to his chiselled chest, “or when you feel me.” You could feel the stupid smirk on his face, and you just rolled your eyes. This earned you a pinch to the side, even though there was no way in hell that he saw you. “Ouch, what was that for, you human radiator?”
“I know when you roll your eyes at me, doll. I know you better than you think.”
“Good for you, now let me go. I need to pee and actually get ready for work, because some of us have actual working hours, and can’t sleep all day, every day.”
Your side got pinched again for that comment, and you just had to laugh. “I have to train like crazy to save your pretty ass from the end of the world every now and then.” He mumbled into your hair, and you let yourself close your eyes for a little while.
“You’re my hero!”
“Damn right, I am!”
Somehow you managed to make Bucky let you go, and when you were leaving for work, he was still comfortably tangled in your sheets, looking like a French painting, with his hair all over the pillows, his naked torso peeking underneath the snow-white sheets. You smiled for yourself seeing him like that and turned around to go and do your part in saving the world, even if it was only in the laboratory.
—-
Throughout the whole day, while trying to perfect Tony’s suit, you were thinking about making something nice for Bucky. You were well aware that for the past few weeks, it was always him trying to get your trust and friendship back, but that you didn’t do anything too nice for him. You knew that it was him betraying you in a sense, but because you spent so much time with him, and the trust was back, you wanted to show him that you could do sweet things for him as well.
He enjoyed exploring cuisines with you, and although the good ole’ American was his favourite, he was starting to feel himself some Mexican and Thai food as well. At first, you thought you’d treat him to a nice restaurant, but you knew that he would never let you pay for it, and it would be him doing nice things for you once again.
So you decided upon cooking for him, a bit of everything. The thought excited you, not only because you could try your cooking skills with something more than your classic cuisine made of pasta and rice, but because you knew Bucky would appreciate you trying. He was relatively easy to please, and you wanted to show him that you cared.
“What you’re thinking about, Y/N?” Tony said from behind you, working on a model himself. “Oh, nothing much, just what I’m gonna do tonight.” You were familiar with the fact that Tony and Bucky weren’t the best of friends, so you never brought your friendship with Bucky to Tony, because you knew he wouldn’t be too happy about it all.
“Let me guess, you’ll be doing something that starts with a B and ends with a Y?”
You blushed like crazy and shook your head. “You’re an ass, Stark! Me and Bucky, we’re just friends.”
He laughed out loud this time and looked at you pointedly. “Right, and I’m the Chinese God of Laughter! Please, spare me the bullshit. You do you, sweetheart, but at least admit it to yourself that he is more than a friend. Because I think you and I are friends, and I highly doubt that you’d let me sleep in your bed every night.”
It was not like you didn’t consider the slight chance that you and Bucky could be something more. And it was not like you didn’t find him attractive. But ever since you let him in step by step, you always thought about your relationship as friends only. But the more you thought about it, the more it occurred to you that you acted like a couple than a couple of friends.
You tried to figure out if there were any indications that Bucky was interested in you as well, and you had to smile at yourself. He was jealous at literally every man that stood too close to you, and when the guy at the entertainment park grabbed your arm, Bucky almost killed him.
“There you go! Not that I’m the biggest fan of the guy, but I think you’re good for him. I think you can bring the best out of him. But if you ever tell him, I’ll have to kill you.”
You chuckled and mockingly raised your hands in surrender. “Yes, sir! And by the way, he wouldn’t believe me anyway, no-one would, for that matter.” Tony just hummed in agreement and continued to work on the new prototype.
—-
It was half-past 8, and you were running like crazy around your little apartment, to try and get ready everything the way you envisioned it. You decided upon making Thai red curry noodle soup, tacos, and tiramisu for a dessert, reaching different ends of the Earth with each dish. At the same time, you tried to get yourself ready, wearing an old-school pin-up red dresses with big white dots and matching your lipstick with the dress. You even put a headband in your hair to finish the look.
Bucky told you many times that he sometimes missed the fashion of his old days, and that it wouldn’t kill anyone to wear dresses from time to time. You agreed with him, even though you felt the most comfortable in your wide t-shirt (or nowadays, in Bucky’s shirt) and your black leggings.
But you wanted to make a beautiful night for Bucky to remember and you so dressed up for him. You internally rolled your eyes at your sappiness but let it go quickly, as you still had to set the table before Bucky came in. You called him from work, telling him that you expect him around 8, that you have a surprise for him. He sounded suspicious of your plans but agreed to come nevertheless.
When you had everything ready, you checked your look once more, and give yourself a nod in the mirror. You looked lovely, even you had to admit it. The dresses showed off your boobs nicely and hid your hips and thighs, which you thought were your most problematic areas.
You were checking your butt, when you heard two loud knocks on your door, you let out the breath you were holding and went to open it. Bucky was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and his favourite pair of jeans. But anything that men wore looked like haute-couture. Damn him and his perfect body!
Bucky’s eyes widened as he took you all in. You could see him gulping hard, and when he looked up, his eyes looked a little darker. But you couldn’t be too sure in the dim light of the hall. “What are you wearing doll? Trying to kill me, or something?” He chuckled, but his voice still sounded a little restrained.
You blushed a little and bid him come inside. “You said yourself that you missed girls dressing up the way they did when you were just a young chap, so I thought I’d try it. But if you hate it, I can-“
“Hate it? Have you lost your mind? If it were up to me, I’d let you wear only this! You’re so fucking hot, Y/N, and you don’t even know it!”
“C’mon, Prince Charming. We have things to get to.”
Bucky looked around the room and saw that the small dining table was set beautifully, with white napkins, and even a flower in the middle. “You trying to seduce me, sweetheart?”
You rolled your eyes and forcefully made him sit down. “Oh, would you shut up?” You said with a smile and went to the kitchen to serve you two the soup. When you finally sat down, Bucky looked at you, questions written all over his face.
“What? I just wanted to do something nice for you. And I know you love American cuisine the most, but I thought I’d take us on a little trip. So, right now, we’re in Thailand, we’ll continue through Mexico, and we’ll end up in Italy. Sounds ok?”
Bucky smiled and reached across the table to take your hand in his. “More than ok. But you know that you don’t have to do nice things for me, right? Especially not after a whole day at work, and a whole day with Tony.”
You laughed a little and gave his hand a squeeze. “You don’t have to do nice things for me either, and you still do them. I just wanted to show you that I care about you and that I enjoy your company.”
“Wait, does that mean I’m officially forgiven?”
You chuckled and shook your head. “Oh, Bucky, you’ve been forgiven for quite some time. Do you think I’d let sleep in my bed, just anyone? Or someone I didn’t trust? It took me some time, but I forgave you, and I want to forget about what happened and move forward. And I’d be happy if we moved forward together.”
You whispered the last part, scared at your own admission. But Bucky and his superhuman hearing caught it, and his smile grew so much, you were actually afraid his cheeks would burst.
“I want nothing more than to move forward with you, Y/N.”
“Good. Can we move by eating the food I spent so much time preparing?” You both chuckled and ate while talking about your days.
Bucky helped you clean it all up when you were finished, still talking about how good it all was, and that he could get used to cooking like yours. You were just happy that he liked it, and seeing the smile on his face the whole night, you assumed he liked more than the food. And it made your stomach flutter and your heartbeat a little faster.
You sat next to each other on the sofa, letting something that was on TV play in the background, just talking and laughing. It was in the moment when both of you leaned in laughing, and your heads almost knocked, that you looked into Bucky’s eyes, and all your laughter died out.
He was looking at you with so much intensity, so much fervour and devotion, that all you wanted to do was to stay in that moment with him forever, letting your whole being bask in the feeling.
Bucky leaned in, and your breath hitched in your throat. Even if you didn’t admit to yourself before this night, you wanted this to happen for a long time. Before all, the fiasco with Hannah happened, and after that as well. You closed your eyes, and let Bucky take over control. You could feel his hot breath on your lips, and you couldn’t help but shudder. His lips teased you, touching you ever so slightly, feeling like a feather on your lips. You could feel him shifting his weight so that he could really kiss you the way you yearned when his phone started ringing loudly.
You both jumped and panted, looking around trying to find the source of the noise. You wanted to kill whoever was destroying this moment for the two of you. Bucky smiled apologetically and grunted into the phone. He listened for a short while, hummed in agreement and ended the call. You knew what it meant. He had to go on a mission ASAP.
“Where to?” You asked, trying to hide the disappointment from your voice.
He caressed your cheek and kiss the crown of your head. But that is not the place I want you to kiss, you almost screamed at him but tried to control your feelings. You were sure he wanted to leave as much as you.
“Romania. Some assholes are trying to bomb down the Cotroceni Palace, which is the official residence of their president. I’m actually going there alone, they think that I can take it. So it’s just a few agents and me. Should be an easy job, and I should be back in 4 days max. I would love to continue where we stopped, but I kinda feel like the phone destroyed the moment. And I wanna do it properly.”
You nodded, but couldn’t help your heart aching a little. “I’ll make it up to you, doll, I promise.” He said, and with the last kiss to your cheek, he got up and went to the door.
“Wait!” You yelled, and got up from the couch, and ran into his arms. You didn’t care about what was proper, or that he wanted to do it right. You couldn’t let him go on a mission without a proper goodbye. Not anymore.
You crashed your lips against his, and even though he was a little shocked at first, he quickly woke up from it, and hugged you tightly, his body melting into yours. It was everything you dreamed of and more. You fitted into his arms perfectly, as if your body was moulded precisely to be with him. His soft lips were exploring your mouth, letting you feel all the things he did, and making your heart skip a few beats.
You pulled away and looked deep into his eyes. “Just get back in one piece, please. And let me know you’re alright whenever you have the chance, ok?”
“Anything for my girl,” Bucky whispered and pecked your lips. “Stay safe here, and I’ll see you in a few days.” You nodded, and he was on his way.
—-
The mission was actually easier than Bucky thought, and he didn’t mind it one bit. All he wanted to do was to get back to New York and be with you when you finally forgave him, and he could show you all he had to offer. And he honestly couldn’t wait. The image of you in that red dress was forever burned into his brain, and he was sure that no matter what happened, you in that dress was forever his favourite thing. He had to make sure you wore it more often.
He got into the Quinjet, with the other three agents that went there with him, and put the thing into the air, setting the course to the Compound. They were halfway there when he could hear weird grunting from the other side of the aircraft. He looked that way, but even with his heightened senses, he couldn’t see anything in the dark space.
He got up from his seat and went to see what it was all about. Suddenly, a shadow moved on his right, and when he turned around, he could see someone coming to him. He frowned, trying to think of a way somebody could get into the plane, but couldn’t think of anything.
But when the person stepped out of the shadows, Bucky growled involuntarily.
“Hannah.”
/ Next Chapter >
After All:
@iheartsebastianstan​ @readermia​ @kolakube9​ @ibookishqueen​  @emogril​ @the-melancholyfeels​ @pinkleopardss​ @supervengerslock​ @the-soulofdevil​ @jessyballet​  @bxrnsfeyson​ @38leticia @sparkling-gayyyy​ @deansbbysblog​ @lustgardn​ @wantingtobekorra​ @backflip-into-a-garbage-can​ @thefifthmaraud3r​
Forever Tag:
@eileenalone​ @sasbb23​ @p8tn0lish​ @coffeebooksandfandom​
Bucky Taglist
@this-kitten-is-smitten​ @sebbbystaaan​ @paradisiacalsparks​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @owlyannah​ @lassini​
Marvel Taglist
@waiting4inspiration​ @voltage-my2dlove​ @kneel-begyourpardon​
If you’d like to be tagged comment/message/send an ask. If you like the story, please reblog :) any comments are appreciated, even the critical ones. Always a space to get better, so let me know what you guys think.
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pixie88 · 4 years
Text
Bad Decision
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Chapter 4 - Our Little Secret.
A/N: Queen B fanfiction. I’m currently editing and adding all  my FF to my new account. All being added to my pinned masterlist on my profile. Let me know if you would like to be tagged! 
Find previous chapters HERE under Queen B - Our Little Secret.
Word count: 1757
WARNINGS: ⚠️ Some adult language & Angst
Disclaimer: Characters are property of Pixelberry.
Pairings: Ian x MC - Lyla.
Enjoy!
"Lillian, I can explain" Ian tells her "How can any explanation make the fact you are sleeping with a student make this right? Ian, this is wrong on so many levels! Do you not care about your career?" she asks him.
I close the door, Ian turns to me for help "Lillian, I understand this looks bad but I promise this isn't how it started. When we first met I had no idea he was my professor nor did he know I was his student" "So when you did find out why didn't you stop it Ian?" Lillian asks him.
"Lillian, I tried, but the more I denied myself the more I wanted. I love Lyla, I'm even moving to a different university, so I can be with her without any repercussions" " So, you tried? It doesn't look like you tried very hard Ian! What do you two fuck between classes? I bet Lyla is an A class student in your class she has to be considering she's fucking her professor. Ian, how can you be so reckless?" Ian face turns to annoyance.
Lillian, Stop! I will not have you talk about or to Lyla like that! Yes, I have been reckless, but that is from my own doing!" Lillian face soften "Ian, I'm sorry! I just don't want this to blow up in your face and end your career you worked so hard for" (Lillian is right, I can't let Ian risk his career for me. At least not while he's still working here).
"Ian, your sister is right, maybe we should cool it until you start your new job. I can't risk you losing everything for me. So, I think it is best that you find a new TA for the rest of your time here. I'll see you in class." I put the graded essays on the small coffee table.
I go to leave the room, but I feel an arm on my shoulder "Lyla, No! Don't do this!" I turn to face him, his eyes are sad "Ian, I don't want to, but we have to," I see Lillian giving me an agreeing nod to the side of Ian.
"We can still carry on in secret, no one will know" his eye pleading with me (I have to tell him about Poppy) "Someone found out!" I tell him, and he pulls away "You're lying! You're just saying that, so I agree to take a break." "Ian, I wish I was, but I'm not. Poppy found out about us she had photo's of us. She was going to use them to blackmail me, but I managed to delete every copy she had and burn the paper ones. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want you to be a part of my mess" he gives me those puppy dog eyes I can't resist.
"Lyla, You should have told me. We could've dealt with that together" I smile "As much as I love you being my knight in shining armour, this was my mess" "No Lyla, It was our mess. You should've told me." he cups my face.
"I know, but so we don't have this problem again, I think we cool it just until you no longer my professor!" he lets go of my face, turns away from me and takes a seat behind his desk.
"Ian, I know it must be hard, but it makes sense and it's only for a few weeks. I think what Lyla is doing is very noble" she smiles at me.
"If that's all Lyla you may go. I'll get a new TA sorted from tomorrow." he doesn't look at me. I leave his office deflated. (Get a grip 8 weeks aren't that long).
2 Weeks later, I have only seen Ian in class I avoid being the first one there so it isn't awkward or at least any more awkward than Ian has made it. Ian avoids my eyes in every lesson and ignores me around campus. He got a new TA 2 days after I told him to get a new one.
I'm not sure Tony seems up to the job as Ian stressed when ever he's around. Ian's class has ended and I'm getting my stuff together to leave when I hear "Ian! It's so good to see you again" I look up to see Lexi approaching Ian's desk at the front of the class.
I hear his husky tone as I make my way to the end of the aisle to leave the classroom "Lexi, you're early" I reach the door when I hear her reply, "Oh, I thought maybe we could have a few drinks before Richard and Annie arrive" (Argh I need a drink and also a bath tub to drown Lexi in).
I send a quick text to Zoe asking if she was free tonight, but she has a lot of studying to catch up on so would probably spend the night in the library.
(Looks like your on your own tonight Lyla).
After I head home to change I found myself outside The Base Lounge a new club that opened last week. I make my way inside and take a seat at the bar and order a passion fruit martini.
After I don't know how many martinis I pull out my phone. I want to text Ian but I shouldn't, but I go against my better judgement.
[Hi Ian, I hope yuo are having a dreadful time on your date with Lexi!]
[You* Whoops]
PING (5 Minutes later)
[Lyla, I am not on a date with Lexi. We are just having dinner with a few colleagues.]
I laugh nearly falling off the bar stool.
[I bet that's not how she sees it. Now you're free for the making.]
[making*]
[Wait that's still not right taking*]
PING (3 Minutes later)
[Lyla, No one is going to take me. You said it was for the best!]
[That was sober Lyla's idea. She's stupid!! I dom't like her!]
[Don't*]
PING (2 Minutes later)
[Lyla, Are you drunk?]
[Well duh! Come on progessor you have a degree. I thought that was obvious!]
PING (1 Minute later)
[Maybe you should get your friends to take you home to sober up!]
[Professor*]
[ Haha, I would but Zoey was busy]
PING (50 seconds later)
[You're by yourself??]
[You know for a professor you are pretty dumb. Of courses I'm by myself if Zoey isn't here. I'm going to walk home after I have been for a pee. Do you know this place has shared toilets! I know it's new but that's just weird right?]
[Course*]
PING (30 Seconds later)
[LYLA, DO NOT WALK HOME! I'M COMING TO GET YOU! JUST STAY THERE!!]
[No need to shout. Well text shout haha. No I'm fine. I can walk. I'll see you in class tomorrow]
I hear my phone continuously ping and ring, but I ignore it and I make my way out of the club. I start walking in the direction I think my dorm is in.
(I feel like I've been walking forever, everything is spinning, Oh no I'm going to...) I run over to the nearest bin and puke. Once I've stopped I clean myself open with a tissue I have in my bag. (Not my classiest moment) "Are you ok?" I look up to find some guy with long black hair staring at me.
(Oh my god, I have hair envy) "Wow, I love your hair!" He smiles "Thanks, but are you ok?" "Yes, I am fine frank you, I mean thank you" "Are you on your way home?" I look at him confused.
(Oh god, he's one of these weirdos that bury young girls under his driveway) "STRANGER DANGER!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I move away from Mr. Perfect Hair. "Stay away from me" he seems shocked "No! Look, I was just checking you were ok. I did mean to scare you" I still back away from him.
"Keep away from me," I shout at him again. I hear a car pull up, the headlights light us up I turn I can't see who it is but because the light is blinding me but I soon recognize the voice.
"Lyla, there you are" Ian comes into view "I've been looking everywhere for you!" he turns to Mr. Perfect Hair "Can I help you?" Ian asks him. "I was just checking she was ok when I saw her throwing up in the bin over there then the mad cow started screaming stranger danger. She's fucking nuts mate." (Everything after that happened in slow motion) Ian squares Mr. Perfect Hair straight in the jaw.
He runs off and Ian takes my hand and leads me to his car.
He gets into the driver's seat, he seems angry "Are you ok Ian?" his jaw tenses "Ian, I said are yo..." "I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID, LYLA!" he shouts, "Excuse you!" "I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout, but you have no idea how worried I was about you!" "Ian, I'm ok!" "You might not have been! Why would you put yourself in danger like that?" "I wanted a drink and no one was free, Plus I was jealous!" I turn away from him.
"Jealous?" he asks I roll my eye "Yes, jealous of Lexi being able to be seen out in public with you and just in your company," he looks over to me with soft eyes "Lyla, This was your idea. I was happy to keep seeing you in secret, but you decided it was best." "Now I don't think it's best. Ian, I miss you," he quickly looks over to me with a smile before returning his eyes to the road.
"I have to admit I've missed you terribly, but you need to figure out what you want!" "Ian, it's you! I want you. I can't wait 6 more weeks, it's killing me now" I see him smirk.
He takes my hand and pulls it to his lips before placing a small kiss against my knuckles "I want you to, Lyla. But if we are going to do this we need to be careful, very careful! No one can know!" "Of course!" "Not even Lillian!" "Ok, but if we are trying to be careful for the next 6 weeks I don't think you should be seen dropping me at my dorm" "Where shall I drop you home?" I grin.
"At your place Professor!" I wink.
Continue reading this story here - Chapter 5.
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