#so uh I got covid last week

[spielzeugkaiser]

kaiser, I've been low-key worried about you as you crawl your way out of the Covid Hole. How are you doing? Hopefully recovering some energy? Sending you good healing vibes from afar!

Ahh, I hope you don't mind that I answer this one publicly. First of all, aww, that is very sweet, thank you 🥺💖 I'm not gonna lie, I still struggle quite a bit with breathing and concentration, but I'm getting there! (That I'm exhausted all the time is a given, but it's always been like thay.) I'm currently working out to get my lungs back to where they should be, but I'm also currently teaching and studying and working and moving and traveling for work and- *deflates*

I miss drawing a lot and I feel really restless since I stopped. Hopefully I'll come back to it by next month - once S3 is here I'm definitely back in my clown makeup 🙈🤡

[clarabosswald]

hello friends i am still Alive

[raeathnos]

I tested negative, I’m free! Suck it covid! >:D

[wosowrites]

Against All Odds (Jessie Fleming x Reader)

warnings: none

prompt: in which reader is a super buff boxer but gets all soft around Jessie, making Jessie’s teammates tease her.

a/n: for @woso-scotland

Growing up with 5 older brothers meant one thing. Chaos. The only time you all got along was when you were watching boxing on the TV. However, when you were 11, the middle child, Jacob, died. You had never heard the house so quiet, it haunted you to this day. He had only been 15.

But, 11 year old you wanted to make your family feel better, she wanted to give her family back the five boxers for children they had before the accident.

That’s why when you told your father you wanted to take up boxing, he didn’t say no. Your dad was your biggest fan. He came to every game, gave you tips until you were too good for them, and supported you through everything including your coming out. You were the only person in the family that had continued boxing, your brothers turning into architects, police officers and family men while you stayed nose deep in the world of boxing.

By the time you were 20, you were incredibly well known in the boxing world, and at the same time, a certain 20 year old was growing a name for herself too. Only in the football industry. However you would only meet Jessie Fleming years later at a gym…

You were ripped, to say the least. But not the kind of ripped that would go noticed to everyone. You wore hoodies and sweatpants and it made your build discreet, but the second you were in a sports bra and shorts it was undeniable you could take anybody in a fight.

Jessie met you at the supermarket in London. It was the middle of COVID and your boxing season has been cut short. You were wearing light blue Columbia sweatpants and a matching crewneck with a black mask. Your sneakers were white, but just barely as you only left your house for essentials.

You had always lived in LA which made the sudden move to London, England shocked to your family. But you knew you needed to get away from the world during this virus thing.

You turned the corner, holding a basket in your hand which was filled with vegetables, milk, fruit and some protein bars. As you did, you felt a cart come crashing into your legs and sending you flying backwards, landing on the ground.

"Oh my god! I’m so sorry," the young woman squealed, quickly leaving her spot behind the cart and rushing to your side. "It’s okay, i’m fine," you laughed, rubbing you knees and standing up. "I’m- Im so sorry I was just lost in my own mind and I didn’t see you," she apologized again. "What are you, Canadian? Enough apologies. I’m okay," you teased. "How did you know?" she asked, helping you place your own groceries back into your basket. "Know what?" you questioned, only realizing now how beautiful the girl in front of you was, or at least what you could see of her was. "That i’m canadian?" she said.

"Oh. I didnt. I was just kidding, but that makes sense now, and the accent," you laughed. "Okay American," she clapped back, rolling her eyes teasingly. "I feel like i’ve seen you somewhere," you said to her, narrowing your eyes. "Uh- no. Probably not. I’m your average girl," she said.

"So am I," you said.

The next week, you saw her again. This time, you had just come from the gym so you had on shorts and a tank top, showing off your features. Jessie was there too. "Hey!" she said to you as you met her in. the dairy alley. "Hi. How are you?" you asked her. "I’m good. And you’re jacked," she said, not so discreetly passing her eyes over your body. Usually, someone staring at you like that would make you self conscious, but the way Jessie did it made you feel good.

"Uh, yeah," you laughed. "Oh my god. When I left here last week I thought i recognized you too. That’s because you… box, right? On TV! A few of my teammates have a crush on you. They hate boxing but they love watching you," she laughed. "Oh really now? Well I don’t really care what they think but I care what you do. Because I recognize you too. Jessie Fleming, olympic athlete, two times world cup attender, and Chelsea player," you said, listing her honours.

"Stalker," she accused. "Yeah," you smiled. "Okay well how about I get to know you through another mechanism than google," you suggested. "You mean a date?" she asked, clearly blushing. "I do,"

But then the whole world went into lockdown again and your dates were more like king calls till midnight and face time dates.

Everything worked out though, because on this day of April 14th 2023, you were dating and more in love than ever.

Jessie’s Canadian teammates found out first. You had travelled to Ottawa with her for the celebration tour of winning the Olympics. Jessie had a video of you screaming your guts out by yourself in your apparement when they won the games. You were yelling, crying, and got a noise complaint the next day. But you didn’t care. All you wanted to do with your life was support your girlfriend, and that’s all she wanted to do with hers.

So, that’s how you found yourself front row in tiny little place TD stadium, sitting on a chair that was a little tight on your quads. Jessie scored a penalty, mimicking the one she did at the Olympics and you yelled for that too. You were probably the only American that loved the Canadian team more than anything.

After the game, the team walked around clapping to the fans and when Jessie got to you she stopped and hugged you over the barrier. "Come down, the security here is light," she said to you. So you climbed over the railing and hopped onto the turf. "Janine!" Jessie called, ushering over a blonde who had been talking to a man who looked like her brother. Janine jogged over and looked at you with wide eyes. You were pretty menacing to people who didn’t know you. "This is… y/n, my girlfriend," Jessie said. "You’re- your what?!! How long have you been together?" Janine asked. "Um, well we’ve been taking it slow a year but we made it official like six months ago," Jessie said. "Six. Months?!" Janine whisper yelled. "Hi, I’m y/n," you said, sticking your hand out.

Janine had clearly forgotten you were there as her her snapped towards you in confusion. "Oh, sorry. Hi, I’m Janine Beckie," she said. "Y/n Y/l/n," you smiled, shaking it. "Like the boxer?" she asked. "Uh, yeah," you laughed.

The introductions were then made in the Canada locker room which was even scarier as what felt like hundreds of pairs of eyes were on you.

"Okay. So I don’t do this… it’s not my thing but I thought after keeping our… relationship… secret for months you guys deserved to know. This is my girlfriend, y/n. And yeah she’s the boxer," Jessie said.

You blushed furiously and smiled at the girls who started asking questions all at once. "How did you meet?"

"She hit me." you said. "Okay woah! You need to add context there," Jessie laughed. "She hit me with her shopping cart," you added.

"Okay and what are your intentions. Because this is Baby Canada right here and she can’t play with a broke heart," Chappy said, summoning her motherly side. "My intentions are to never let her go a day without feeling loved and supported. My intentions are to… watch her play with a smile on my face and make sure she knows that she is the most wonderful person I have ever met. My intentions are to go broke because I buy all of her jerseys," you said, ranting a little bit.

"Okay softie," Stephanie said, winking over at Jessie and giving her a thumbs up. "Sorry to do this y/n but the post game talk is just for players. Gotta kick you out," Bev said, heading towards the door. "Oh right. Okay well it was nice meeting you all," you said. You turned to Jessie and gave her a quick kiss on the lips which she responded by placing her hand against your abs and kissing back before you left the room.

The second you closed the door chatter erupted in the room. "Okay Fleming I see your type now," Vanessa teased.

Teasing and more teasing echoed in the room, Even Bev chipped in.

But eventually calm settled over TD place and Bev started the post game talk.

The Chelsea girls found out about Jessie’s relationship at the start of the season… by accident.

You had called her after practice to let her know that your car had broken down on the side of this little street in the middle of suburb London and you were lost. She answered your call in the changing room.

"Hey Jess, can you come get me? My car broke down and the car repair people came and got it but they couldn’t give me a ride. I’m literally standing in this random street that looks like it’s in the middle of a forest," you groaned down the phone. "What? Are you okay?" she asked. "Yeah. Im fine, just… it’s gonna rain soon Jess. I was coming home from visiting a friend and-"

"Babe, I’ll be there as soon as possible. Send me your location," Jessie said and then hung up.

"Babe?" Magda asked, the whole room silent. "Yeah. I have a girlfriend by the way and her car broke down so I gotta go get her," Jessie said, quickly putting on a matching adidas hoodie and shorts and stuffing her belongings into her gym bag. "Jessie! You’re giving four people a ride home. It’s your carpool day. Which means…" Niahm started saying.

"You are not coming with me." Jessie said sternly.

"Road trip!" Niahm, Lauren, Sam, Zecira and Emily said at once. "Wait. We want to come too, meet the girl," Pernille said, pointing between her and Magda.

"Please no," Jessie groaned. "Wait, who doesn’t want to come," she asked.

No one raised their hand.

"Everyone get in a car and follow mine," the Canadian exhaled.

Turns out you were thirty full minutes away, but that didn’t discourage anyone within the four cars trailing behind Jessie’s honda.

There was music blasting in every vehicle and when rain started pouring, Jessie knew you would be in a bad mood.

"Someone grab my phone and text y/n telling her i’m almost there," Jessie said, fumbling with her device and tossing it to Emily in the backseat.

Jessie saw you the second she turned the curve in the road. You had your hood up, your arms crossed and you looked ready to kill. She knew that you were just pissed off and would never hurt a soul, but to the other girls, you seemed positively menacing.

Jessie jumped out of her car and ran towards you, hugging you tightly. "I’m so sorry, everyone wanted to come and-"

That’s when you saw the four other cars behind your girlfriends, but you didn’t care, you just kept hugging her and let the tears of frustration mix with the raindrops on your face. "It’s okay baby, they were bound to meet me one day," you said, brushing her now wet curls out of her face.

You had excepted everyone to stay in their cars due to the insane amount of rain, but before you knew it, the entire Chelsea Women’s roster was in front of you in the street. Magda and Pernille hugged you gently, giving each other a wide eyed look as they both felt your muscle mass. "Holy shit. You’re the boxer. I watch you on TV like all the time," Guro said, eyes wide.

"Well so do I- I watch you, I mean. Not myself. I watch all of you guys," you laughed.

"Your Guro’s celebrity crush is what she’s saying," Jessie teased. "Well not anymore!" The Norwegian laughed.

You spent dozens of minute talking in the rain, the cold downpour not seeming so bad when you had Jessie’s hand in yours.

Eventually, you got into the front seat and banished Sam to Magda and Pernilles car to make room for you.

You talked to the girls in the car and answered questions that the Canadian team had already asked. But you didn’t mind because those questions just meant you were lucky enough to have Jessie Fleming sitting beside you.

"She gets super focused when she drives," Emily said. "I know, I think it’s because she’s a bad driver," you teased. "I’m not! It’s just the whole reverse thing is confusing. The cars go the opposite way then they do in Canada," she said, keeping her eyes fixed on the road.

You kept on looking at her, your eyes full of love. Jessie knew you were staring, but she just let the blush creep onto her cheeks and gave you a quick smile, returning the lovey dovey eyes.

Zecira snapped a picture from the backseat. The forest was clear through the windshield, and so were the droplets of rain. You could see Jessie’s blushing grin but not who it was directed too. She posted it to her story and closed her phone, enjoying the sound of the rain… and the one of Emily and Niahms arguing.

[gh0stbreath]

Hey guys so I hate, hate making a post like this but I've been laid out with covid for the last five days and unfortunately my state ended covid pay this year so I am uh. Kind of financially fucked seeing as I havent been able to go to work

At the encouragement of some friends, I made a g0fundm3 to try and recoup the money so I won't have to struggle to make rent or pay my bills

Even if you can't donate, any shares would be appreciated, especially since I'm sure tumblr isn't gonna like the link I'm adding to this lmao <3

[alexanderlightweight]

Sooooo… I’ve been not around and it’s thanks to health again. The medical poisoning that almost killed me a couple of years ago affected more than we thought and well Covid almost killed me in October too and I didn’t recover as good as I thought.

I’ve been struggling to work with shitty health care industry and insurance that doesn’t actually care about its patients and struggling with all that the symptoms and side effects that have been fucking me over with.

I’m also on more medication than my 80year old parents combined so that’s fun and been exhausting because I’m fairly delicate so the ‘may cause’ side effects tend to hit me

…a lot

@alxndrlightwoods has been really sick at the same time (all their disabilities and health issues also got worse after getting Covid) so any spoons I’ve had have been care taking for them, Nightshade and the rest of the House. I’ve barely been able to think let alone think about writing and it really fucking sucks. It also is incredibly hard to write when your partner is in so much pain and you can barely do anything to comfort them and barely anything to help.

I also have had a really bad year with accidents, cutting a finger tip off to the bone, and a fall that required an ambulance and had me unable to drive and experiencing side effects weeks later (I’m still struggling with some of them). My anxiety and agoraphobia are through the fucking roof after some truly horrendous social experiences and I’m at the point where even I can recognize the absurdity of some of my own paranoid delusions (that does not mean I can break them).

There’s been some other stuff but I feel like I’ve already hit TDLR. I’m kinda at a breaking point mentally tho which means I’m about to hit my limit of ‘not writing’. Because not taking the time or having the energy to write is pretty shit for my mental health and I miss it a lot. Also I just got off a med and we didn’t realize how much it was contributed to my brain fog and vertigo so, that’s some more awareness back!

Also Saeth is having an absolute fucking time of it going through withdrawals of a med that wasn’t helping enough (and weaning off this drug has been horrific for them and I hate that none of this or the awful side affects we didn’t know were attitudes to it were the last three years were mentioned when the dr suggested and prescribed it).

Uh actual TDLR:

Health and bodies are fucking bullshit. Saeth would like a refund on theirs and Lumine has the worst luck and is super clumsy.

Anxiety™️

Thank you to everyone who has sent any asks, reached out, asked how we are, said hi, left comments and just been here supporting me and the House. I really appreciate all of you and you remind me all the time of why I love writing so much.

🩵 Lumine

[three--rings]

So I made a set of MDZS copies for an exchange.

I used the same typeset I did for my copies, not made by me. I didn't think I could do any better.

The best way I knew to make these fancy, without copying the set I made for me, was to do them full leatherbound. I had recently bought some leather from an auction in California and one of my fellow Renegade members was lovely enough to drive it all the way to TX for me when she moved.

So I didn't get the materials for this until almost June, and then my summer has been, uh, full of BS. Anyway, here's the finished product.

The design was determined by the color of the leather I got. These were some very lovely high quality goatskins from a defunct bindery. I honestly thought I was buying black and brown leather and I ended up with this deep blue and some greenish-brown.

So I decided to use the blue. I was also unable to purchase additional materials so I used what I had for endpages and everything else.

For cover decoration I decided it would be best to use the Foil Quill attachment for my Cricut, something I hadn't yet tried. Doing that on such expensive materials, when I had a deadline, was definitely a choice. I ended up having issues with where the decoration was placed, so I had to do some fudging when making the cases. And some of the foiling came out rougher than others and I have no idea why....

The designs are Sect symbols, of course, but from different sources, depending on what I thought would work best with the foil quill. We have the Jiang symbol from the donghua, the Wen symbol from the donghua, and the Lan symbol from CQL.

The spines have faux raised bands which I had to play with to get placed correctly since the decoration got shifted on some of them.

(More personal feelings about these under the cut.)

IDK, this is a project I really wanted to be better than it was, and I feel bad about how rushed I was. I found out I have to have surgery next week and therefore had to schedule a trip to see my elderly mom before that, two weeks before the exchange deadline. And then in the weeks before my trip which I had set aside to work on these, I caught Covid. So ultimately I was pressed up to the last minute, and some of the glue was still damp when I had to pack them up, so I left protector pages in one of the volumes.

Hopefully they're still nice to read and look pretty on a shelf.

[torturedblue]

It’s the middle of the week, have some dancing turtles

Spoilers below as I gush about my Mutant Mayhem Monday experience 🤗 please feel free to gush with me I wanna hear other people’s thoughts too!

First off… When Seth wanted to put the teenager in TMNT he meant it. Like, all the versions act like teenagers, but like Nickelodeon PG stereotypical teens. MM turtles were the realest PG-13 outta pocket 21st century teenagers I’ve ever seen and I love that shit because it’s the first time I actually felt like I was around the kids in middle school and high school again with the way they talk. Kinda appreciate Superfly cussing too? Like idk it’s Ice Cube and this villain goes hard tryna kill some teenage turtles he formally saw as his lil cousins, let the grown mutant cuss

Also uh, was not expecting to be sad so early in the movie? Like I could tell from the trailers it was gon be an emotional rollercoaster but shit like ten minutes in and these turtles are fuckin depressed. And to see it really hit me because in every other version (except for Bayverse) the turtles literally never let not being part of the human world get to them. In the shows especially they’re so well adjusted and never bothered by sticking to the shadows. Then there’s Rise where they pretty much go out whenever they want and indulge in most of the human world stuff they want to. For these guys to be so stunted and desperate to have more freedom was so heart wrenching. Especially when Splinter grounds them for a whole month and the reality sinks in of how much they know the life they want isn’t an option for them

Wasn’t expecting any kind of ship or romance but that crush Leo has on April hit me like truck because…… holy crap the Leo-April pair has never been a thing? On top of that this is only the second on screen black April we’ve seen and I’ve been a Leo kinnie across the board since day one so to see this combo of my favorite character liking a black girl is making me lose my mind 🥲 and like it got me thinking of several of my favorite shows and the single characters I kin in those and if they’ve ever had black love interests and it’s just still not a common normalized thing honestly.

I’m sure a lot of people aren’t excited for the prospect of ships coming back (especially after 2012 scarred us) but as a Leo lover and black girl it got me so excited to see something like this. I’m just hopeful and optimistic they won’t mess it up like a lot of shows do. The “this is just as friends line” already makes me a little worried bc that trope never has a good history but I have faith they’ll handle things tastefully and not make it toxic or messy

MURDER THE SHREKS!

“I assume you’d wanna be on camera. ‘Cause you have, like a very camera ready look…” OKAY SMOOOOOTH LEONARDOOOOOO 👏🏽

Could not stop laughing while he was shooting his shot my face was literally donnie’s restraining myself from bursting out laughing

Just a couple of my favorite questions that April wrote down for them:

“Do you carry salmonella?” Look I still don’t know wtf salmonella is but it’s the second time a TMNT iteration has joked about it so I’m starting to think it has something specifically to do with turtles 👀

“Have you caught covid?” Oml covid exists in this world

“Are you the source of covid?” OUT OF LINE 💀

“How many people has the red bandana turtle stabbed? Does he need therapy?” Yes.

“Does sunlight cause you to burst into flames?” They’re- they’re not vampires? 😂

Leon Ardo deserves the world and whatever he wants in it give him everything 😭

I will never understand what made Donnie laugh so hard at the name Nardo other than it being because it’s his sibling and that it bothers Leo lmao

All imma say about the puke scene is that I’m glad I heard an “out of context” spoiler about it bc I knew exactly when to look away and I’m glad I did bc the scene lasted for so long??? 😀❓But hey at least I had Unwritten to listen too while I was sparing my eyes 😂

The sequence of them going around and shaking down those gangs and Superfly’s connections. BAD. ASS. And each of them got their own moments to shine? Loved it. Like they each even got to take point and have their moments where they got to kick in the door lol. And the fight scenes were just, muah. Chef’s kiss, they all looked amazing taking grown ass adults down together

Okay Splinter definitely gets the best dad award for putting together that little surprise party, with all the celebrity Chris’s and pretending to wait on them 🥺 so pure. It did make me sad the guys immediately left and you can just see such a sad dejected look on Splinter’s face, knowing he can’t provide what his kids really want or make them happy enough without it 🥲 At the very least they say thanks and that they appreciate but I would’ve at least stayed for a lil bit and gone along with it, Splinter just looked so excited about it and it was so sweet 😭

And he doesn’t even get upset though he knows they’re hiding something, he just says he’ll help them if they’ve gotten into trouble, which is something I’m sure almost every kid has wanted instead of having the kind of relationship where they’re more scared of telling their parents they messed up instead of handling it on their own

I love how musical Superfly’s family is 😂 Ray Filet just starts sing-introducing his name and Mondo and the other couple mutants when they drive with in the car trying to find music they could all sing to together 🥹 not to mention the musical references Superfly makes later that I’ll get to. “Kinda don’t wanna murder everyone on Earth, I just kinda wanna sing” Me too bruh.

Raph immediately going “goochi goochi goo” and playing peekaboo with Genghis frog is so underrated that boy has such a soft side he’s not even that afraid of showing at times, and maybe it’s continuing the trope of Raph having a soft spot for pets/animals? Who knows 😌

Yo I was kinda shook when that government guy knocked Leo out and he just fell unconscious on the ground 😶 Like we’re used to seeing the authorities be brutal especially in movies like this but that’s a whole teenager? You just assaulted a minor? 🙂 Crazy

Also I know it’s sad they got captured and drained painfully but Mikey in that scene was hilarious 😂 like even the way he was dramatically crying and Leo was just started to cry with him like “iM sO sOrRy mIkEeEeEy! 😭” gold. When one of his children is hurting Leo hurts too. One of my favorite moments 🤣

They literally started singing BTS while being tortured they’re so unserious but like in a serious way to them and I love it. Also the fact that they did it just to make Donnie feel better? So pure. Like Raph of all turtles offered to sing while being drained of blood (bc I refuse to use the m word 💀)

The way Splinter snuck in and soloed literal government soldiers single handedly? Badass. Never loved seeing a Splinter save his sons so much 🥹

“But it’s the only way we’ll be accepted.”

“No! We accept you!”

“You can come live with us! We accept you!”

“WE VIBE!”

Oml they’re so puuuuure 😭 I really thought this was gonna be a moment where the guys invite them all to come live with them and Splinter was gonna be like ‘aha 😬 whoa slow down there’ but damn nah he was just as enthusiastic as them inviting all those mutants to come live in their home forever “The more the merrier!” Like ugh he just loves finding family like Baxter Stockman and we see where the guys got their loving nature from 🥹

The amount of his soul Mikey put into that BROSEEEPH was so real like I’ve never heard the name broseph be said in any other way, I’m so glad they put that moment in there

“New York, New York!” “I’m the king of New York!”

Oml superfly’s a Broadway baby 🤗 he’s a big bad villain marching through time square and talking about King Kong but he’s fill gonna nerd out and make his musical theatre references 😂

“For once in your life you didn’t sound lame. You actually started to sound like a leader”

“That was really heartfelt Raph”

I love the Leo Raph dynamic in this movie. Like they don’t always agree or understand each other but they will show love towards one another and show mutual appreciation

Something about any of the turtles shells cracking always gets to me for some reason like those are some serious permanent injuries so I want to see if they do anything special with that in the sequel or show maybe 🤔 And I couldn’t tell if all of theirs cracked or just one, and if so which turtle it was. I think Leo or Raph. I feel like it was Leo but Raph’s are also starting to have a trend of getting cracks in their shells so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also I do not want to judge what other people like to wear but why are Raph and Donnie the only normal dressed ones 😭 like Mikey looks like he’s going on vacation and Leo looks like he’s going to clock in at Best Buy 😂 tell me it’s because they have limited resources for clothes lmao. HE’S LITERALLY WEARING A LANYARD

Them taking off the masks was crazy honestly… like them deciding not to wear them made my brain pause until I realize they’re kids going to school now and not being ninjas all the time… they don’t need them anymore. I’m just so pleased with the fact that this movie was willing to do what all other iterations weren’t. I see why they’re getting a sequel and show already, these guys and the plot development deserve so much more exploration

Maybe I missed something in the beginning but I’m wondering where Stockman went. Like is he still in custody? Did he die? Because not seeing him again that’s what I assumed but we only saw him get arrested or whatever, so if anything I don’t get why Superfly and the others wouldn’t try to break him out 🤔 I was surprised they didn’t make him a villain though, but I’m pretty happy about him getting to be a more optimistic kind character tho

SHREDDER HAD ME SHOOK LIKE THE ARMOR ALREADY LOOKED SO COOL AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GET THE BIG BAD INVOLVED AHHHH I’M SO READY TO SEE THEM REACT TO THIS ANGRY GIANT TIN CAN

Although I do wonder if Shredder’s gonna have some personal gripe with them since they have a different backstory he doesn’t seem to be a part of. And shit now that they’re public and in school it’s gonna be so much easier for him to go after them 😅 pluses and minuses…

The soundtrack: golden. Cultured. Nothing but range. Goes from a 90’s rap song to Natasha Bedingfield’s soulful 2000’s song. Most movies only ever have all pop mainstream songs or only rap songs because they think they can’t mix but MM does it effortlessly. The turtles are so versatile not just with music genres but they make old and new references ‘cause they’re well rounded kings 💪🏽 Between rizz, Adele, broski, Hey Arnold, K-Pop, Ferris Bueller, etc… I mean Donnie’s literally doing the sprinkler and the funky chicken in that gif up top 😂 they’re born in 2008 I doubt any kids today know about those dances anymore

Clearly I have all the thoughts and feelings about these boys and the movie, but I think this is probably my favorite TMNT movie? I’ve loved all of them but I think this one definitely brings me the most comfort fr

[netherworldpost]

SHOP NEWS NO DATES BUT PROGRESS IS BEING MADE

The Netherworld Post Office back office, handling private client work, did not have it's expected slow season. Which is good! Production testing is very expensive!

But also I worked myself ill, which was a bad idea!

I'll be fine in a few days.

Or depending on when you read this soon-to-be-pinned everywhere post, I'm fine now!

Over the last several months, I looked at the hard question "hey why aren't we open on the public side?" and it hit me:

Instead of following through with the plan, I was sneakily trying to re-create Evil Supply Co.

Side note: If that name is familiar, but this doesn't make sense, then the short answer:

@evilsupplyco closed in Summer 2019.

I am Atticus of Evil Supply Co. Hi!

I got into a traffic accident, the ensuing next few years Covid wrecked the world, life has been intense :)

The Netherworld Post crew is the same crew behind Evil Supply Co. and we changed/are changing the name because the new shop is going to be spooky-mail-focused as opposed to experimenting with... spooky... everything.

In September or so, just before our back office busy season started, I realized I had been saying "I'm going to focus on what we do best -- greeting cards -- and everything else is secondary."

I. Uh. Kept adding things anyway. To the... list. And making. New. Lists.

(gulp)

(learn from me, don't do that)

So in the depths of Intense Client Work and then laying on a couch for several days to allow my drawing arm to heal and my brain to slow down, I realized I had been violating what I set out to do:

Make a really fun, very inexpensive, greeting card company that sells the occasional zine, and has lots of useful downloads. Some pay-if-you-want (free if you don't), some a few dollars.

...this image... hurts my feelings... because it was this is what was happening to me.

I've learned a lot in the last several months --

I'm going to recover fully.

Send all the files lingering to test print one last time.

Then when they come back, the shop opens.

A handful of weeks at most.

I wanted to launch with DOZENS of greeting cards and A HUNDRED downloads and THIRTY ZINES and and and and and and and and --

-- and we're going to launch with about 10 greeting cards, probably 5 or 6 downloads, and zines will wait while we add more greeting cards and downloads etc.

I am admittedly REALLY EMBARRASSED to be preparing a shop launch SO SMALL after SO LONG.

(I'll get over it. We'll add new stuff regularly forever.)

mailing list: netherworldpost.com

Sign up! If you're already on it, the tech witches auto-sort to ensure you're not being bombarded with a million emails.

(Actual conversation with the crew. I wanted to draw all of this out and my producer Fang was like "hey why don't you instead use that time to work on the actual drawing list instead" and I was like "great idea thank you")

one last time, mailing list: netherworldpost.com

[torchship-rpg]

Dev Diary 15 - Mechanics Reworks

Hello cosmonauts! It’s been a minute.

So we finally finished Chariots of Steel and were all eager to turn development time over to Torchship when I got covid. I was too sick to do anything for a week, and then have spent the time since exhausted, coughing, and headache-y. I’m still coughing. What a cool sickness to have!

Because of that, I really haven’t made the progress I was hoping to, but I do have some things to talk about from the current draft of the game. So here goes…

Unity Rewrite

One of the problems revealed by last year’s Metatopia playtest was that players didn’t really have a good idea of how important Unity was supposed to be, because it was a simple uncapped resource. Like any such resource, either they ignored it, or it activated the player’s hoarding instincts and they stockpiled it and dedicated themselves to whatever roleplay triggers would get more without ever spending it. 

Uh, oops, should have seen that coming.

So one of the biggest changes in the current drafts is that Unity has gone from being a pool of resources to being a bar you try to keep topped up, like so:

So long as you stay in the green ‘United’ range of 10-12, you have a free 1d6 reroll on all your dice pools. While not a hugely powerful buff, it’s a passive benefit that helps no matter what you’re doing, so you always want it if you can. There’s no benefit or drawback to being at Functional, but Tense and Fracturing hit you with escalating penalties.

This tells players when they need to be looking to form or act on relationships for the Unity benefits. Your Unity falling (through complications on rolls, stress in combat, or relationship complications) acts as an invitation to groups to get more involved, to declare relationships with each other and the various sides of a debate, and possibly act irrationally on them. 

This incentive structure also heightens the political metaphor of the relationship system and the way it will affect your interaction with groups. When things are fraying in your in-group, the fastest way to rebuild cohesion is to find an out-group, to stop being impartial and take sides. As circumstances change, you might find yourself dealing with the sunk-cost fallacy of having backed a horse you no longer believe in, faced with the reality of risking your group’s Unity to make the right choice, and the potential danger of swinging too far the other way as you try to rebuild cohesion.

Damage Rework - Conditions

Another massive change in the Alpha is a totally reworked system for damage, creating a single universal framework for everything from personal injury to wear and tear on tools to massive impact on spacecraft.

When something is damaged, that damage gets converted by the GM into Conditions. A Condition consists of a narrative description and a severity between 1-6; the severity determines the degree of penalty taken when the narrative of the condition becomes relevant (with 6 Damage indicating something has been destroyed outright and can’t be used). Damage is converted to Severity 1-1, so if you take more than 6 damage, multiple Conditions will arise.

This system can be used for anything, and focuses on creating problems that you have to work around and solve (you know the thing this kind of sci-fi is all about). If you get shot in the arm, having to figure out how to do things one-handed to avoid the penalty becomes an interesting problem you have to navigate around. If you drop your scanner down an elevator shaft by accident, you have to navigate your adventure with 1 Disadvantage on your sensor checks because of a cracked lens. And when 24 points of Thermal damage hits your spaceship from a laser hit, those become Conditions on your various modules and subsystems, realistically knocking out parts of your spacecraft so your engineer player gets to fix them and your medic gets to attend to crew.

This system also allows the GM to metre out the nature of damage to match the needs of the narrative much more easily. This allows weapons to be realistically dangerous without simply killing player characters all the time, because damage can be freely split between conditions; six damage from a handheld railgun doesn’t have to one-shot you, it can be interestingly split into a number of conditions describing the path of the shot. 

It also heavily simplifies a number of the game’s Hazards; you can make an ‘oxygen deprivation’ condition or a ‘barotrauma’ condition or a ‘heat stroke’ condition just as easily as anything else, and Resistances can be applied to that damage the same way. It elegantly compresses a number of systems from earlier drafts into a single, solutions-first mechanic.

Modes of Play & Vignettes

One big change in the new Draft is how the game uses alternating modes of play. We’ve ended up settling on four, two ‘main’ modes and two modes which are like exaggerated versions. You constantly build up Strain through Activity and Alert, every time you roll dice or get hurt, and you remove that Strain by going into Reflection and spending Supply.

The way we’ve decided to do this so that Reflection & Resupply can be tracked and even applied retroactively is Vignettes. Vignettes are scenes you play during Reflection to give a break from the action, creating the character moments that make us invested in the weird sci-fi shit by giving us a glimpse into the world. However, because each one is a discrete mechanical package with simple outcomes, you can also go ‘hey wait, I think that scene we just played was a Vignette!’ and it’ll still work.

The entire party plays the same Vignettes together and shares the benefits, with you playing more Vignettes the longer your characters are waiting (non-linearly; an hour gets you 1 Vignette, but a day only gets you 3). This timescale compression helps to get across the vast scale of space; there will be times when combat begins, both sides launch missiles at each other, and then you realise that it’ll be an hour before impact and you’re able to play a tense Vignette while you wait!

There are currently 9 Vignettes:

Three are Meetings: Conferences where you adjust your Investigation Checklists, Briefings where you make plans for dice bonuses, and Debates where you decide what to do in a controversial situation.

Three are Downtime: Relaxing to generate Unity and remove Strain, Lower Decks to introduce new crew NPCs you can call on for help, and Tourism to hang out with the locals, get language XP, and fill society checklists in a fun montage.

Three are Labour: Training to get XP, Treatment to recover Harm, and Project Work to create new Tools.

Resupply, which happens almost exclusively between episodes, will unlock three new Vignettes dedicated to your resources, spacecraft, and what’s happening back home.

That’s all for now. Hopefully we’ll have more detail for you next diary, which hopefully won’t take nearly as long. Provided there are no more tanks or awful diseases in my near future…

[theoutsiderscomfort]

It was Two-Bit’s birthday 3 days ago and I missed it because I had Covid and wasn’t on social media much so to make up for the fact that I missed it

Two-Bit Headcanon Time!

The poll I posted a few weeks ago, Dally came first but slowly pushes Dally to the side for now. He will get his chance

These headcanons are mainly based on the book and movie adaptation.

He doesn’t own any other shirts except for his Mickey Mouse ones.

He has at least one in each color

They are probably stolen but what hasn’t he stolen before

Talking about his stealing, He probably has stolen stuff for his sister like toys or candy

I don’t remember her having a canon age but in my mind she is youngish. Between 5-10

He has definitely gotten makeovers from his sister and had tea parties

He forgets one time to wipe the make up off before going to hang with the gang

They all look at him confused before someone asks “trying out a new look, Two-Bit?”

He simply replies “Yeah. Do I look like a pretty princess?” And bats his eyes before he just starts laughing his butt off

He doesn’t take it off after it was pointed out and wears it for the rest of the day just because he thinks it’s funny

He probably has ADD/ADHD

Mickey Mouse is a hyper fixation that he has had for years

He may be 18 but he will sit there and watch Mickey Mouse for days. Give him some beer and cake? Even better. He will last a week in front of that tv

He doesn’t really care that it’s seen as childish

If this guy ever got the chance to go to Disneyland, he would be the happiest guy on the earth. He would be in heaven the whole time he is there

He would stare at Mickey as soon as he sees him. He would run to meet him despite being an adult. He doesn’t care if people think he is weird. It’s Mickey fricking Mouse.

Time for some angsty headcanons.

He wasn’t able to make jokes for weeks after they lost Dally and Johnny.

He tried but they weren’t really helping and it was hard staying positive

After finding out that Johnny died and seeing Dally die, he went home and cried.

He would’ve tried to not cry in front of the gang because he was meant to be the funny one

He also checked on his sister to be sure she was okay as soon as he got home

Okay no more angst because I’m making myself sad thinking about it

I need to end this on a positive note so uh

Has face planted into a cake while drunk before

I just thought of that one on the spot lmao

[ofstarsandflames]

Hello all! Congratulations to all participating in RobStar week, both creator and audience!

Also, remember yesterday when I said I'd participate in every prompt this week? Guess which idiot decided to get covid!

This gal!

Luckily, it's not too bad! I have my Vaccines and was told I'd get better in a few days. Unluckily, I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

Thankfully, I already have drafts written up for this week! Unfortunately, a couple of them were unfinished and so I had to complete them in a hurry to meet the schedule.

This is one of two fics that were incomplete. If it is not up to par, I sincerely apologize!

Anyway, I decided to go for a more angst-y approach to today's prompt, heh-heh. Some of the content below may differ from what we are familiar with in the show, but fret not! I will expand on my ideas more once RobStar week is concluded!

With that, please go right ahead and jump right in! I hope you enjoy!

RobStar Week 2024, Day 2

Power Swap

Robin might have to kill Cyborg once he got a hold of him. 

While a majority of the cybernetic teen’s inventions had delivered positive results, there were often some that proved more difficult than what they were worth. 

The ‘Ability Monitor’ and ‘Flash Teleporter’ proved to be the latter. 

A series of hijinks occurred, resulting in both Robin and Starfire getting caught together by both inventions. 

And now here he and Starfire were, powers and clothing swapped with the other’s with broken communicators (and by definition GPS’s), as they tried to navigate the endless labyrinth that was Jump City’s National Park. 

They must have been out there for hours, seeing as the sky went from beautiful day to stark night. 

It did help that he was able to fly over the trees, gaining a better view of their endless landscape. Unfortunately, having trouble staying afloat mixed with being unable to find a definitive landmark certainly made things more difficult than they needed to be. 

Yeah, it was no longer a maybe. He was DEFINITELY going to kill Cyborg once they made their way back to the tower. 

“Everything okay?” Star asked from below. 

Robin lowered himself from the air, hoping the action looked natural despite his trouble doing so. 

“Everything’s great!” Robin landed next to her, internally cringed at how overly-peppy his voice sounded. “Perfect, even! Why, I’d go so far to say I've finally perfected your powers!” 

Suddenly, as if fate itself decided to call out his bluff, Robin’s left hand glowed an intense bright blue. That hand, leaning against a nearby tree, caused the poor timber to instantly light up in blue flames. 

“...” 

“...” 

Nothing, at least for the first couple of seconds.

“Huh, look at that.” Starfire said in a strangely calm tone. 

“AHHHH!” Her partner was the opposite, his features displaying pure panic. “WE HAVE TO PUT IT OUT!” 

Robin ran around in a panic. He needed to find something that could keep the fire from spreading throughout the forest! 

What to do, what to do, what to d- 

HISSSSSSSSSSSSS

A loud hissing sound pulled him back to the present. The poor tree was now covered with a white foam, the last of the blue flames flickering out of existence. 

There stood Starfire, a mini fire extinguisher in her hands. 

Ah, right. One of the many useful tools stashed inside that signature utility belt. 

“Oh, uh…” Robin let out a light cough, cheeks warming up in embarrassment. “Nice work.” 

Starfire’s mouth curved into a small smile, her eyes obviously filled with mirth despite being covered by one of the Boy Wonder’s signature masks.

“Well!” Star said in an impressed voice, putting the fire extinguisher back in ‘her’ belt. “Looks like you weren’t lying about perfecting my powers.” 

Though his eyes were also masked, Starfire knew he was throwing her an embarrassed glare. 

“Not funny.” 

Though his hand no longer glowed blue, Robin still shook his hand in an attempt to “chase away” any lingering Starbolts. Star giggled at the sight (resulting in another glare) before she continued leading the way to their intended destination. 

“Oh, do not be so hard on yourself.” The now human girl called out to him. “I know firsthand how difficult my powers can be to manage. You are actually doing quite well, despite what you may think.” 

Even though he knew she was just trying to cheer him up, it wasn’t like Starfire was necessarily lying. 

Robin remembered the Titans’ first month as a team, having to learn about each other and how to work together in-tune with their abilities. Starfire in particular had more than a few moments where her powers flared up out of nowhere, most likely a response to how she was feeling according to her. 

On the bright side, thanks to her they managed to find better ways to fire-proof the whole tower. 

Her powers, being somewhat fire-based, often had the unavoidable side effect of rising heat.

Rising heat… 

Robin blinked in confusion. It was the middle of August and a relatively cold night, why was he so hot all of a sudden? 

And why did his stomach start hurting out of nowhere?

Intense… 

Suddenly, Robin felt his throat closing up. He tried to take a deep breath but found himself unable to. If anything, his breaths were coming out in short, heavy pants. 

Burning… 

“Robin?” 

Starfire turned, uneasy at how quiet the other suddenly was. 

She gasped at the sight before her. Robin was doubled over, one hand clawing at his throat while the other clutched his head. 

“ROBIN!” 

Starfire immediately ran to his side. She tried to place a hand on his back in an effort to calm him, maybe help him up to examine his condition. However, and much to her shock, the second she made contact with his skin she had to pull away. 

He was hot. Burning hot. So much hotter than was supposed to be physically possible. 

Starfire’s eyes widened in disbelief. 

‘Why…’ 

She shook her head, utter distraught and confusion filling her head. 

‘Why is this happening to him as well!?’

A loud, strained gasp filled her ears and brought her out of her stupor. Robin was now kneeling, purple and silver clothing sticking to his skin as he continued to burn from the inside. 

‘No!’ Starfire internally yelled to herself. ‘This is no time to panic!’ 

She may not have known why this was happening to him, but she did know how to relieve it. 

Starfire placed herself in front of Robin, kneeling to meet his level. She held his face in her hands, ignoring the intense pain as his skin burned her hands. 

“Robin, listen to me!” Starfire commanded in a voice fit for a leader. “You need to manifest some Starbolts. Right now.”

Robin was more than confused. Why did he feel like his insides were on fire? Why was Starfire commanding him to produce a pair of Starbolts? Why was she so calm? 

But regardless, what else could he do except listen? 

He closed his eyes, trying hard not to think about the pain enveloping his whole body. His mind worked to recall as many rage-inducing thoughts he could muster.��

‘Nothing but a sidekick.’

A different, more controlled heat began forming in Robin’s palms.

‘My last night in Gotham City.’

A small blue flame, bursting with energy, slowly manifested in each of his hands. 

‘Slade.’

That did the trick. 

A fully formed blue Starbolt, bursting with immense power, appeared in each hand. 

“Nicely done!” Starfire’s voice was filled with relief. “Now, keep them in place for as long as you must. In just a moment, you will feel the burning sensation fade.”

Robin’s eyes widened, his masked eyes displaying a fair amount of uncertainty. 

“Star, what-” 

“Please Robin!” Starfire pleaded, never once releasing him from her hold. “Trust me!” 

Robin trusted her. Though he was still unsure of the situation, that much he knew to be true. 

Suddenly, Robin felt a wave of cool relief washing over him. The intense burning sensation slowly went down, his insides going from a painful boil to a subtle simmer. 

They were both still for a moment. Not a sound could be heard, other than Robin’s labored breathing. 

His breathing followed that pattern. His breaths went from difficult, painful huffs to the simple, mindless action it had always been before that moment. 

Almost as quickly as it began, Robin was back to his not-so-normal current self. 

“Thank goodness!” Starfire let out a sigh of relief as she helped the other to his feet. “I was so worried it would not work!” 

Robin watched the Starbolts in his hand slowly fade away, trying his best to process what just transpired. 

“Star?” Robin asked, his eyes never leaving the flame in his palm. 

Starfire’s body froze. His voice, it’s tone… why did it suddenly hold so much weight? 

“Y-yes, Robin?” 

The dancing blue flame, once brighter than the moon shining in the black sky above, flickered when the hand it stood on closed. 

Even if it was dark, Starfire could not miss the heavy stare directed her way. 

“guys…” 

Ears perked up, Starfire quickly snapped her head in the direction of where the sound came from. 

“robin…”

“starfire…”

The others! They must have been locating them with Cyborg’s heat sensing technology! 

Starfire was relieved, thankful for their perfect timing. 

“R-Robin.” Star pointed up ahead. “Did you hear that? The others, they must be nearby!” 

Grabbing his hand, Starfire tried to listen for the direction of where the voices were coming from. 

“They must be over th-”

She tried to walk to where the voices were, but was halted in the process. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Robin planted firmly in place.

“Robin?”

Another tug of his hand. Like before, he wouldn’t budge. 

“Why are you…?” Starfire tried pulling him with her, but without her super strength it was no use. “What are you doing? We have to go find the others-” 

 “What was that, Starfire.” 

Starfire stopped pulling. Her eyes widened behind the mask. 

“Wh-what do you me-” 

“You know what I’m talking about.” Robin was now the one to hold her hand, keeping her from running away. “What happened earlier?” 

Starfire held her breath, more nervous than she had been when she discovered her powers had been transferred to the team leader. 

She needed to be careful how she worded this, lest she makes things worse. 

“O-oh! You mean that.” Starfire giggled, attempting to diffuse the situation. “You needn’t worry about that! It simply happens whenever I go for long periods of time without releasing my Starbolts!” 

“Wait!” This revelation shocked Robin. “Are you saying you’ve felt this on multiple occasions!?” 

“Well… yes.” Starfire admitted. “I hadn’t used my Starbolts since we defended the city last week. However, I did not think my condition would pass to you.” 

“Forget about that.”

Robin grasped her shoulders, forcing each other’s masked eyes to meet. 

“How long have you dealt with this?” 

Starfire grimaced, unsure of how he would take her answer.

“Robin…” 

“How long, Starfire.” 

She considered lying for a moment. The last thing Starfire ever wanted to do was make things difficult for her friends, as it was her personal duty to aid and make things easier for them. 

Unfortunately, Robin knew her. He would know if what she said was untrue, especially since he was refusing to let this one go. 

“Since I first landed on Earth.” Star answered truthfully. “I noticed it after I first flew away from you all, and I also discovered how to relieve it soon after.” 

Robin’s eyes widened, the revelation striking him more painfully than the sensation ever felt. Seeing his reaction, Star knew she needed to resolve this problem as quickly as she could. .  

“Robin, please do not worry about me.” 

Starfire squeezed his hand in reassurance. She removed the domino mask she wore, wanting him to see the sincerity behind her words. 

“I promise you, I can handle it. It is not so bad once you are used to it, and it helps that I do not recall a life where I do not experience the feeling.” 

Robin could not believe what she was saying. 

How was he not supposed to worry, when she had just revealed that she had been experiencing that awful burning sensation since she first arrived on Earth?! 

Even if she’d had it for as long as she remembered, which was proven to be short due to the loss of her past, Starfire shouldn’t have to experience such a painful feeling on a constant basis! 

Robin wanted to say this. He knew the alien was hiding more than she let on and he wanted to know why. 

But, even if that was what he desired, it would not matter. Starfire’s eyes, while showcasing her sincerity, also displayed her resolve. 

She was not going to reveal more than she wanted. 

“Fine.” 

Robin finally released her. There was a tension in the air, so thick and heavy it needed to be hacked with a knife. 

He nodded his head to where the voices continued to shout out. 

“We shouldn’t keep them waiting. Cyborg’ll restore us back to normal once we reach the tower.” 

Starfire nodded, not wanting to risk him questioning her any further. She was not sure if she would be able to resist had he continued to be persistent. 

Star just hoped Robin would no longer look into the setbacks of her powers, for both of her sakes. Even if she did not know why, or maybe on the chance she could not remember why, she knew the answer would only lead to trouble. 

Unfortunately for her, Robin was not finished. If anything, he was just getting started.

He was going to get answers, for both their sakes.

[reactionimagesdaily]

REACTION IMAGES BLOG PATCH NOTES (aka the 10k follower celebrations got out of hand)

Hey everyone!

So it's been a hot minute since I announced that we passed 10,000 followers on here! I'm sure... well, I'm actually sure that most people won't be TOO fussed either way, but I did say I was gonna do some stuff, and I wanna stick to my word if nothing else xD

So! Let the celebrations begin! Firstly, I'm announcing a new QnA (I love those things) that'll last,,,, I'll say 2 weeks and go from there. Feel free to ask me about whatever you want!! If you want to cater to me specifically, my current big interests are Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk 2077, Mass Effect, and uuuuh Halo. (Also Bionicle remains a constant.) (Lots of scifi videogame stuff at the moment...)

[IK there's still some stuff in the inbox I need to answer/respond to you - I promise I'll get to those as well <3 thank you so much for your patience, if you've been waiting]

Secondly, here's a new song cover! IDK how many of you have played the game Divinity: Original Sin 2, but here's me singing Lohse's song; Sing For Me.

Thirdly: here's a new gimmick blog! I Was Not Joking. (Though, for my sanity, it's gonna be weekly instead of daily.) I'll be posting the images I have saved in my folder called 'feral screenshots' - it'll basically be a collection of cursed images/images with strange auras. I wanna say y'all know the ones, but if you don't, then here's an example of what we're dealing with:

[Image ID: a person floating in a rubber ring in a swimming pool. On their head is what looks like a life-size Lego head.]

Introduciiiiing the Weekly Weird Images blog!

And Fourthly! It is my great pleasure to announce that we're adding alt text to all the images on this blog! Sorry it took so long to get round to T_T

And yes - I do mean we! To write out all the alt text for these images, I've on-boarded minion-in-chief/court jester aplomb @tizzytinkertilly! I (the reaction images guy) will still be handling every other part of the blog - she'll just be doing that bit. For the sake of my sanity xD

This is kind of a big change - both the addition of alt text, and the fact that this blog is no longer a single-person operation - so for the foreseeable future, the queue's been tweaked so that we only post 2 images a day instead of 4. (Fun fact! 2 images a day was the original MO of this blog, and then covid happened and I was like "I'll make it 4 a day because it'll be a nice thing to do for everyone while they're miserable in this pandemic :)" and then I never stopped (although you could argue that the pandemic never stopped either).) Maybe if/when we fall into a good routine and feel like we can do more, we can bump the rate of images back up, but right now this is a teething phase and I'm keen to slow things down for a little bit. :P (Tumblr has made some WEIRD mechanical choices for group blogs, I'll be honest.)

And, uh, yeah, that's all! Let the QnA begin- Hope y'all enjoy the song cover- Hope y'all enjoy the additional blog- A big welcome to Tinks and to alt text! Happy 10k followers, everybody!

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

i love my mom but man does it suck when she starts talking to me about god shit. because it always leads to her trying to guilt trip me into being more religious, saying things like, “it makes your dad and i very sad that you don’t believe in god” and “you’re depressed like this because you don’t talk to god.” when i tell her that choosing not to go to church anymore is one of the few choices in my life that i don’t regret, she gets upset with me. sorry, going to go on a little bit of a rant about family and religion here (specifically catholic/christian), but i’ll stick it below the cut.

usually this convo comes up when my cousin is mentioned, because my mom and my aunt will gush about how my cousin goes to church every sunday. this happened today actually. they ignore the fact that my cousin is still a horribly spoiled, selfish, honestly terrible person who yells at/doesn’t bother to help her physically disabled, sickly mom. my “wonderful church-going” cousin who left to go on a vacation to hawaii with my shit uncle, leaving my aunt alone at home even though she had covid AND had recently broken her back. which led to me having to take 2 weeks off of work at the last minute to go stay with my aunt and take care of her. during those 2 weeks, my “wonderful” 20-something-year-old cousin would repeatedly call my aunt to cry and complain that she wanted to come home because she “didn’t feel good.” and my aunt, laying in bed with her broken back and various other health issues, would baby her. oh, but my cousin goes to church, so that means she’s such a good person! i just don’t get it.

one of the reasons i refuse to go to church anymore is because of this backwards-ass hypocritical way of thinking so many people there seem to have. there’s just this feeling of insincerity to it all where people show up once a week to pat themselves on the back for being “good people”, then gather in the lobby after mass to gossip about the one trans woman who recently joined the congregation (unfortunately this isn’t an example i made up). or later go to the supermarket and yell at an underpaid employee. or go on a hawaii vacation and leave your mom home alone with a broken back.

i attended church from age 1 to age 18. as i grew older, church started to feel more and more suffocating. it got to the point where i was having anxiety attacks during mass. i tried distracting myself with drawing on the pamphlets given out at the front door. and when i was banned from that, i resorted to drawing on my skin, which didn’t last long. i ended up sneaking earbuds in and hiding the wires under my hair and clothes so i could drown out the sounds of church with music. i would just stare at the floor and try to just focusing on breathing, but it was just all too suffocating. i was told that the reason i was feeling and acting this way in church was because “the devil was talking to me.” “the devil” was trying to take me away from church and god, so i needed to stop feeling like this and just pray. that time i started crying in the pew because it all became too much and i felt incredibly overwhelmed? that’s the devil. pray about it. uh, actually, mr. jesus, it was because i have bad social and generalized fuckin anxiety. and also very likely autistic but i haven’t been officially diagnosed until this day. so yeah.

thinking back on it now, it was kind of fucked up. but i don’t blame my parents for how they acted. sometimes i feel a little angry and disappointed about how they handled things, but i don’t blame them. because as i watched kids be baptized, i would hear the priest tell the parents that it was their responsibility to raise their kid to be a good god-fearing person. that it was their responsibility to keep their kid from “straying from the light” and avoiding damnation. i know my parents were told the same thing when i was baptized. that it’ll be their fault if i “stray from the light” and end up getting sent to hell. i just see it as guilt-tripping bullshit. it was my choice to not go to church or follow the religion. i hate that this system has told my parents they should feel guilty about this and that it’s their fault that my soul won’t be saved, because they didn’t “guide me in the lord’s way” good enough. i hate that this system has made me feel like i’ve failed my parents. it’s bullshit.

i’m sure there are churches out there who contain genuinely good, accepting folk. and i’m sure there are people who find comfort in having a religion. i’m glad for them. i’ve just personally have some negative experiences with religion and I’ve learned that it’s just not for me.

i try my best to be a good and kind person. i try really, really hard. i just don’t go to church anymore. the fact that i don’t do this one thing shouldn’t devalue all my efforts.

[askxigbar]

So life updates from your Xigbro, feel free to ignore;

Went to the doctor and found out I've got some severe vitamin deficiencies which explains a lot physically and mentally going on.

My ass feels old taking as much medication as I am daily, but I can feel some stuff being better thankfully.

Been having bad side effects so I've been very tired outside the usual tired the meds are fixing, and just sick because my stomach vs meds.

Uh... I got Covid for a second time from new people at work!! So uh, that's going great. It's not as painful as last time but I am FULL OF FEAR.

I am missing like 2-3 days of work because of it which is like easily $400+ money wise so that's terrifying me.

I was gonna try and do an ask this week but I've literally only been awake 5 hours a day this week I've been sick, which has been spent eating or doing patreon stuff.

So that's where I'm at, uh I might just take a break and see if I can get anything done through the holidays, but just try and come back beginning of the year fresh again. Life is just kind of all at once hitting my ass again, oof.

Uhhh that being said, if you appreciate what I do or feel up to it think about dropping my ass a tip or joining my PATREON for early art and like WIPs that don't see the light of day for ages, and that you might have a say in seeing earlier if you ask for it~

But either way uh... yeah. Life is kind of a mess for everyone atm huh?

[diagonal-queen]

Hey, I wasnt able to find rules for requests so Im assuming this is fine. May I have angst to fluff (comfort) for Sigma? Sigma got anxious or something happend and reader comforts him. Like gives him kisses and hugs and cookies, just the sweet stuff yk. He deserves it💕

i think sigma really does need some comfort after that elevator stunt...T-T also no this doesn't violate any of my rules at all! they can be found in my pinned post 🌸

Home Is Where the Heart Is

♡ pairing: Sigma x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: After a gruelling few weeks of work, Sigma is worn out and the only way he'll feel better is with your comfort.

♡ wc: 1.2k

♡ cw: Sigma has an anxiety attack.

note: This MIGHT be the last thing I post in a little while, because plague has befallen me (covid) and I fear I may be playing a game with death (my head hurts). Very sorry friends :< Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Sensing the moods of others was essentially second nature to you by now. It was an ever-growing skill, disproportionately rocketing when you met and fell in love with Sigma (and became acquainted with his strange coworkers). You mostly used this ability when you needed to adjust your behaviour in the casino to maintain your boyfriend's professional reputation, but it had its other uses.

You understood that as the manager of a luxury casino, Sigma had his work laid out for him every waking hour of the day. There was seldom a period where he wasn't insanely busy. Though he was a strong man, you could tell when it weighed on him. Today was one of those days, in terrible transparency.

Sitting on your shared bed and scrolling your phone, you hadn't expected him to be back so soon. You'd returned after spending some free time in the casino with the assumption that you'd have a couple hours to yourself, which is why you were surprised when you saw Sigma burst through the door before slamming it behind him. Leaning against it and combing a hand through his hair, he let out a long, languid sigh.

You sat up, the movement causing his eyes to flicker towards you before widening.

"I didn't know you were in here," he gasped. You tilted your head.

"Are you alright?"

"...I..." Sigma straightened and wrung his hands together. "...it's fine."

"Hey, c'mon, it's clearly not. What happened, babe?" You asked, standing up and approaching him. "You look so worried."

Sigma didn't seem to want to meet your eyes, instead staring a hole into the ground with a concerned expression. He was clearly still focused on whatever had just happened outside.

"...Sigma?" You frowned, before blinking in realisation. You took him by the shoulders. "Look at me, Sigma." His silver eyes finally flickered up towards you, almost as if he were ashamed of his panic. "Come over here."

You took his hand and led him to your bed, where you two sat side by side. "Take a breath, and then talk to me, alright?"

Sigma slowly inhaled. "...it's the casino. And the Decay. Things are just really getting busy right now- which is fine, it's fine, but, uh...they're not going the way I anticipated. On top of that, I'm having more and more customer service issues, which distracts me from my other work, and then when I actually get to said other work I barely have time to complete it- let alone have any time to spend with you, and it's just..." He trailed off as his voice cracked.

You had actually noticed that Sigma had much less free time recently. He went to bed later and got out of bed earlier, and you had started feeling rather lonely. You knew that Sigma was busy and you didn't blame him, but at the same time you felt bad for not bringing it up with him. It seemed he could really have used your company.

"Sigma..." you started, "...c'mere." You pulled him into your arms and felt him return the hug instantly. He squeezed at your torso as if he hadn't felt your touch in ages.

"I'm sorry-"

"Take your time, Sigma," you encouraged him softly, as you carded your fingers through his hair. You felt his grip on you tighten, but he said nothing. His form was shaking slightly, and his breaths wavered as he appeared to be resisting the urge to cry.

You pat the back of his head as your other arm trailed down to his back to give it a comforting rub. His body was tense, you noticed. Sigma's fingers curled into your back as he let out a long sigh and buried his head into the crook of your neck.

"It's okay, honey," you said. "I've got you."

Sigma made a small noise, almost like a sob, before he pulled away from the embrace.

"...thank you for this," he told you, a tear finally spilling down his cheek. "Sometimes I just...all of this is overwhelming. I feel like I can't do anything."

"The both of us know, realistically, that that's not true, Sigma," you ran your thumbs over his knuckles. "There's nobody more dedicated to this casino than you. That's why you're the only person capable of managing it."

"...that's true, yes," he nodded, slowly. "Still, I can't help but feel like a fraud. I'm scared of the day that I'll be found out as someone...completely unremarkable."

"You're not unremarkable at all! You're such a special person, not just to me. Where would anyone in this place be without you? Where would the rest of the Decay be without you?" You asked, giving his hands a small shake. "You might feel like you're a nobody, but there's not another person who feels the same. Especially not me."

Sigma sniffed, before bowing his head with a smile. "You always know what to say, don't you?"

"I wouldn't say...normally. But when it comes to you, I just...I dunno. There's nothing that stops me from wanting to help you," you explained, feeling your face grow warm at the admission. Sigma seemed mildly surprised, before his face also turned red, probably more so than yours.

"You..." he began. "That's..."

"...something I got from you, I think," you finished, with a chuckle. Sigma tilted his head at you, eyes glistening.

"...you...mean that?" he whispered. You nodded, and his face broke into the sweetest smile. "...Y/N..."

"What?"

"...nothing. I love you." Sigma caressed your cheek and kissed you softly.

"I love you too, babe," you beamed, before raising your eyebrows. "Oh, here's an idea! We should have dinner together."

"...s-sorry?"

"Room service!" You suggested, in excitement. "We can chill out and spend the evening here together. You need a night off, Sigma."

"I don't think that'd be very beneficial to my workload, Y/N..." he muttered, rubbing his eyes. "...though I don't know even if I'd be able to get it done in this state, anyway."

"That's what I'm saying!" you insisted, standing up and approaching the phone on the wall. "I'll order for you while you get changed. What do you want? We can get dessert too- I'll get you some cookies. The real nice ones with salt sprinkled on the top, I know you like those."

Sigma watched speechlessly as you blabbered on during the process of making the call. It wasn't until you looked at him and insisted again that he change out of his work clothes that he nodded and stood up. Once he entered your shared wardrobe and closed the door behind him, he stood idle for a moment listening to your muffled voice on the phone, happily listing off your order that, if he weren't the manager, likely would have come with a hefty bill.

He let out an amused smile and loosened his tie, realising how much he was truly looking forward to the next few hours. There really was nobody quite like you to calm his anxiety and worries, and because of that he truly did consider you to be his respite. His home.

i loosely based this off a real scenario. and no, i wasn't in reader's position, i was in sigma's position lmao